Tag Archives: workshops

Jason Tantra Blissful Profile

Seeking the Heart of Gay Tantra with Jason of Tantra4GayMen TPP289

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In this episode I’m joined again by the charming Jason Tantra, the co-founder of Tantra 4 Gay Men. He’s stepped up into a leadership role in holding sacred spaces world-wide and online for gay men to share in the glory of Tantra.

Please visit his website at:
https://www.tantra4gaymen.com/

About Jason:

Jason is the founder of Tantra4GayMen, and a pioneer of Tantra for gay and bisexual men in the UK. Trained as a counselor and as a spiritual medium, and after years of professionally working with male survivors of rape and abuse, Jason met Tantra in 2006. He immediately knew that his life purpose had become clear. Since 2008, with his husband Ingo, Jason has pursued his life as an exploration of sexual and spiritual liberation. He has done this by creating events and trainings that express this: Events where men who love men can let go, explore love, and find ways to freedom where sexuality meets spirituality.

Over 10.000 men having been through Tantra4GayMen’s work. Its two yearly Festivals are beautiful wonderlands where sex meets spirit, bringing together facilitators from the cutting edge of Tantra in a context where men can love men without holding back. Its Tantra Diploma offers a one-of-a-kind transformative experience for those who want to live Tantra as a path of personal development leading to total freedom. Currently, Tantra4GayMen is expanding these events into the USA, and Jason and Ingo are working towards their vision of a community of open, free, conscious and aware men that are happy and in love with the very world they live in and themselves.

My Non Verbatim Show Notes: 

JT: thank you for inviting me back

talking in preamble, how’s it going, not been great, 2.5 months, look what’s happened in last few days in your country, complete horror, the world for me just doesn’t feel like a happy place, talking june 2

TP: feel you on that, hard to highlight things, generally would have been positive, hopeful, tone of shadow around everything, do feel like this, anchor moment, wound keeps being exposed

tantra teachers, she talk about, start doing shadow work, wounds go deeper, generations, trauma, goes deeper and deeper

tantra/tantra4gay men, tool kit for these times

JT: gay/bi/queer men who love men, like other pockets of society, we know what isolation is, we get it, for me, never felt so isolated in childhood, early adult life, until found places I could be accepted, many years to fully evolve, understand realize I had choice about kind of person I wanted to be

this crisis happened, for me,

just panicked about men maybe living on their own, high proportion of our community live on their own, home, apartment, months, uk things starting to relax slighting, everybody still in lock down, no bodies going anywhere, world not happening as it used to be

in SF, about to do a weekend, rug got pulled out,

biggest fear, I didn’t want to hear that anybody in my community had harmed themselved because they didn’t know how to cope, first panick

performed a bit of a miracle

what I did, messaged, all my tantra teacher, and associated contacts and friends, not a time to talk about money, time to be in service, in the middle of march, created free special online program for all of community in the app

5200 members in app around globe, managed to get 40 teachers, over the 10-11 weeks free program, ran over 600-700 workshops, over 10000 participants, incredible numbers, need, incredible spaces

many different tantra teachers from around the globe, yoga classes, poetry, bedroom disco, quality of holding together through adversity

so many of my community, been affected in jobs, relationships, home, structures of lifestyle, wake up in morning, low level anxiety, teeth clentching

emotional state day to day roller coaster

free online program, migrated into subscription service, sparkly app costs a lot of money per year

giving away discounts, promo codes to make it accessible to everybody regardless of whether they can afford it

global collective community, don’t have to suffer on your own

even in times of incredible difficulty and hardship, don’t need to do it on your own

people want to love you, hold you, care about you

share with you through this experience

TP: beautiful amazing, redeeming, resilience of human spirit,

epicenter of the outbreak of politicizing the virus, can’t believe how much extra suffering and death being caused by virus being political football, fog of war

still see beauty of things like what you’re doing

diy spirit, deeply radical humanitarian, grass roots, deep bows to the architects of internet to give us ability to do this

applaud you, deep bows, foresight to build online community

infomercial promo walk through

JT: talk about before that, far more important than our sparky app

low day, low moments, stuck in my apartment in bristol, not interacting with anybody other than online, emotional roller coaster, beyond that, my belief in love

can even withstand what this pandemic, crisis, event though huge amounts of suffering, misery,

still believe in heart, strength and quietness in love, stronger than negativity, something about love

for me there was like how can we physically manifest that

role as human beings to be love in action

spiritual teachings, consciousness, matter, is our job as humans to find ways to be the truth of who we really are

in the ways that we are…with people and our selves

sometimes worry some spiritual practices very lovely, ethereal, inner, work needs to happen

but for me, truth is, how deployed, integrated, displayed, how they manage to catch behavior before they react

watch themselves watch what’s going on

bigger spirituality

often in my workshops and retreats, profound orgasmic experiences, literally feel like orgasm and universe, same thing, traveling through space and time, for me afterwards, the whole universe has fucked them or they fucked the whol universe

for me an experience, not the truth of what we’re really looking for

maybe had amazing love making session, 6 months ago, year ago, 5 years ago, experience becomes less embodied as time moves on

for me amazing experiences almost a biproduct of what tantra offers

ability to have profound amazing fuck experiences, but actually the truth of those, is how they were integrated into your life, moment to moment

energy, being, learning that your being is running the show, operating the show

for me, is the experience, is the truth of who we really are, actually one big orgasm, state of bliss trying to understand itself on this thing called planet earth

for me, bliss love, truth all kind of similar qualities of the same thing I’m pointing to

how we bring that down here on this thing called planet earth

climate change, 50-100 years left, real issues, people we put in power around the world

for me what tantra does, alchemizes, changes perspective, back to a truth you can’t forget, weekend of tantra, can’t go back, can’t undo experiences

humans, come a long way, quite a long way to go

TP: eco sexuality, eco spirituality, inherent in tantra, always love the way people express that, brad amberheart, poetic integration, exploring nature, planet, fabric of cosmos, deepest roots of tantric scriptures, attitudes people had to abundance of nature, abandonment of hierarchies of yoga and bramanism, ecological radicalism, tantra heyday, like berkeley 60s event, full circle to that

medibations visualizations seeing world leaders having a tantric dancer come and bewitch them, seduce them into shakti vortex, having them be an expression of that

electric jesus, jonathan talat philips, all these leaders, rulers, egomaniacal, one big giant snowballing bad mood, curse of dictators in permanent bad mood,

spiritual practices, moving, dancing,

tantra4gay men global synchronized disco

giving back, service, apply, deploy

if you’re doing tantra you’re probably producing net positive energy outflow, gives you extra budget to spend on charitable loving acts

JT: first part, something about, contraversial,

TP: tantraversial

JT: we end up believe what’s being presented in front of us is the truth, come to america often, friends, people, news channel on 24/7, caught up in story of what’s happening on tv screen, that is their reality, spiritual journey of tantra is being able to see what’s going on

and not necessarily needing to get involved with it, not saying we should ignore the worlds problems, understanding we have choice, choose who we want to be with things happening

gay men, generalizing, being a sexual being, didn’t know the word gay existed, knowing I was different wasn’t good news

at age of 18, if I could take a tablet to turn straight I would have done it

not welcomed news at age of 18

america, religion done a lot of damage to sexuality, expression

repressed, clamped down, never know, alternative way of being

celebrate

brad amberheart, good friend, love brad, such a poetic way, way of speaking,

the point I’m saying, for me, what I’m wanting to bring in tantra, vehicle for freedom, actually if you see an animal in the zoo, suddenly open up the gate, so conditioned, in box, perimeter, doesn’t know the gates open

same as humans, all conditions to live a certain life, believe certain things, don’t know there’s something beyond

don’t really understand human potential, have clues, but not fully understanding

for me, what I’m seeking to do in tantra is enable people who’ve had so much experience, intimacy, spirituality, multiple orgasms, becomes normal, being in a state of orgasm, becomes normal way of being, then look at the world

hold orgasmic energy, state of bliss, knowing, love, truth,

power in that, that no body can take away, no outside circumstances can ever move you from that place

is that the spiritual journey

know the truth of who we really are, beyond the experience being presented in front of us, then have choices how we want to interact, deal with problems, and things we need to deal with

TP: beautiful, promise of tantra I have learned, you can transmute pain, trauma, suffering, fuel for fire of pleasure, magic, prayers, blessings, creating ceremonies, reclaim, ritual, paganism,

talking about politics of the world we live in , curious, I’m not into politics, anarchist, idealistically, consensus, direct democracy

curious, have any ideas, notions about, leverage points of queer people, different political power, mission to initiate people with power, and to empower them with shakti, shaktipat, kundalini

possibility of everybody, leading from a place, smell a flower and have orgasm, continual compounding orgasm, lacking in political leadership

JT: my mission as if I can help men, that’s my audience, find the truth of who they are inside themselves, whatever their life is meant to be, can than manifest

if you know love, know your own process, I know when I’m reacting from fear, anger, a place of love, a place of conditioned value system, having developed that awareness, gives you choice, choice is freedom

poliitcal, structures that we have, not about choice, not about freedom

agree, many political structures, not interested in evolution of humans, different values, priorities people put above that

we are, I don’t know if we’re waking up to it

but look at history of human nature, levels of politicization, kept people living in certain boxes, frameworks

not okay to have opinion, think something different outside of system,

many countries around the world that have done that

I’m after personal liberation in side

know it so much, so powerful inside of you, what happens outside doesn’t touch you in the same way

a lot of men I work with, have many issues before can get to that

working through, in classroom as it were, men that are confused, lost, that are dissatisfied, men typically come to tantra because they’re unhappy with something, or know or believe there is something better

tantra deals with sexuality makes it an easier sell than a meditation weekend

TP: done a lot to lather up the orgasmic energy, lot of hope and positivity

to be fair to the path there a bit of shadow exploration I’d want to throw into this

something you said right now, how people find this path, really is small fraction

tantra teacher from south africa, put it well, if you’re on a crusade to try to enlighten everybody on the tantric path, I got news for you, basically its like, at any given time on earth, percentage of humans alive, spiritual seekers, very small, of that percentage the people who actually make it a few steps before turning back is even smaller

the people who do make it there, do their best to hide

build your temple on the highest mountain

other narrative, make it accessible, easier to at least get access to filtering and initiation

not be ripped off, raped, molested, abuse, financial abuse, fraud, spiritual industrial complex

cherish the work your doing

polishing gems

something came to mind, point of acknowledging beauty of these art forms

thread of tantric scholarship around notion that rama krisna, rebooted tantric kali worship, for a whole new wave of accepting of the dark goddess, sexuality, wildness, transgression of dark goddess energy of tantra, socially/culturally engineering to be more acceptable, orthodox households

scholars argue, he was a flamboyant gay man, devotees, I’m not the scholar, something for people to look into, interesting and deep study

when I’ve been exploring that rabbit hole, rama krishna cult of kali in tantra, one of the gurus of lineage, giving satsang, the people who show up at kali temple, usually there, in some form of despair, acute life event, or series of events, brings them to the feet of the dark goddess at kali temple, in shambles, at least there will be peace, there will be love

other traditions, sex negative, homophobic, have to deny parts of yourself to be loved, tantra temple bring whole self, baggage, sins, homosexuality, still get fully love, healed, peace

JT: one questions I’ve had, why do gay people exist, has nature fucked up and made it wrong, trans, gay women, all different permutations, humanity, labels, why do they exist

wonder, consciousness wants to know it’s truth in this density of matter, in every single permutation it can possibly muster up, no 2 humans ever the same

part of the exploration of truth is this planet, could be every single permutation of itself , so it can know truth at every level

love the fact that trans agenda has come up in last few years

everybody worthy of love, everybody is love

society needs to evolved, challenge ego, ideas, normal, okay, love does not discriminate

conflcts that go on for me, invitations go move into deeper stages of love,

america last 2 3 days, absolutely horrific, the way its been handled horrific, can’t feel love, compassion, apology

understandably people are pissed, really angry

feel whole situation needs to find resolution in love

politics, tricky ground, america has not answered a lot of social issues it has, people are pissed, angry, rightly so, they know there’s a truth beyond the structures of society

TP: on point, pretty moderate, things could be said more extreme, I’ve been on front lines of resistance, carrying a variety of different flags,

chills, people who’ve really hurt other people, seeking the heart of tantra

salvation for sinners, people who intentionally, sociopathic, harmful, narcissistic, if love is this vibration, give it a personality, hinduism, devis, deva, personalities, all pointing to ineffable vibration of love, om mantra, resonance, if you’re hurting people because you don’t know how to love or weren’t loved enough

tantric temple recalibrate love compass, do less harm, become a healer

JT: diana ross, chain reaction, we’ve seen that in different times in history, invitation right now, change more love to happen, other thing, always said in teachings, human beings don’t change from a place of comfort, always change from place of suffering, what’s motivation to change, if miserable, isn’t working, something isn’t right, questioning, what’s going on here

wonder whether misery is a good thing

original tantra, tantra I teach is neo-tantra, osho, his body of work, my teaching lineage, comes from work that he created, teaching for 15 years, evolved and developed methods/ideas

psychotherapy, large proportion in my work, want people to learn how to integrate, give words to experience so rest of body and being can integrate

original tantra, ingo, years of academic information, original tantra for me, born out of dissatisfaction, that said at the time that only people of a high class and men, were worthy enough to access spiritual teaching, and soul evolvement,

tantra, a spiritual journey could be accessible to everybody regardless of caste

spiritual journey available for everyone

original tantra, different rituals

often people think original tantra is the best, is the more authentic, more amazing, some of original rituals, vegetarian or vegan, hold a piece of meat for next 5 days, and see how we get on with that , as a meditation, don’t know about you but if I was going to sell a workshop with that as the primary ritual, don’t think I’d have many takers

talk about the tantra that I and other people offer is of its time, the tantra we’re teaching now is of its time, we need to learn who to be okay with sexuality, have relationships with our body, understand the truth about orgasm and bliss, deal with the crap that gets in the way of shame, judgments, guilt,

some methods about moving people through a spiritual journey of where we are in 2020

TP: totally agree with that, notion of intelligently consciously triggering yourself with transgression activities

aghori sadhu, eating from skulls, extreme deprivation, acts of rejection of orthodoxy

to your point on adapting that best intentions of transgressive stuff, bicuriosity, ritual container, what is it that’s holding you back from experiencing double love and excitement,

taking phobia, turning it loving ritual container, it your point, tantra as tool kit for adapting to repression of your time, mean something different to everybody of every different culture

difference between eating rotting flesh in graveyard, and piece of art that signifies, it, if it gets the job done, maybe you don’t have to do the life threatening things

Tantric Quest, book, description of his experience of encountering wild yogini, heart of transgressive, jedi training, she was his yoda, sexual initiatrix

are there gay tantra books for men that narrate that process of initiation, not necessarily with indian, gay man guru, that would be pretty stellar, book you give coming of age literature about tantra

JT: didn’t have that tradition in england, when we came of age, think it was a bottle of alcohol, the world needs a good gay tantra book, on my to do list, one day, when stopped manifesting and creating, moved on to the next stage, curious around how we pass knowledge on to each other, are books the right way of doing it

talking about that app, curating and talking about experience of tantra, practices, things you can do, a lot more accessible, absorb knowledge books v online

feel something should be recorded for the time purposes, kind of put together, the world does need a good gay tantra book, don’t think there is one, or haven’t seen one

TP: cliff hanger, just talking other day, did meet up called kundalini monologues, love idea of curating the online museum of gay tantra, website, database, ways for people to be searching content

JT: app, talk about spiritual things, have to go back and talk about business/organizational

TP: got 7 chakras to distribute that load,

JT: chakras could do with a vacation

app with developers 18 months, alternative to grindr, scruff, wanted to appeal offer, another way to do this thing called a gay life

different way than what’s being proported by different apps out there,

asked ingo, husband, co-founded/co-runs tantra4gaymen

went shopping, ingo, finance director, said I could spend some money, bought off the shelf app, 10s of thousands of dollars to run every year

for people curious about tantra, wanted to know more, also to me an online, loving, caring family, global

5200 men, mostly uk, usa, europe, astralia, south africa, click on members near me, find local tantra men, big news feed, free content, goes in dailiy, articles videos, questions, pictures, people we buy it from, shocked, our audience so involved, statistics off the scale

global tantric community of men, keeps us all together, profiles, messaging, members near me, topics, article, writing, recordings, could go on about all of that, all for free, easily downloadable in tantra for gay men app

TP: that’s so amazing, a lot of things are flashing for me, something niche, overexemplifies the technology platform

attention, marketing,

if gay men in the tech industry, IT, webdev, are they covering this app as a news item, free press/pr for fact that it’s breaking chart numbers, gotten people reaching out, wow I want to create a plug in

JT: could always do with more, gotta get the word, out, anybody’s listening has avenues for that to happen, I’m all ears

how do we finance, all functions features, free, want them to remain tree, launched academy, miracle, 40 teachers, premium subscription $25 a month, tantra love academy, inside app, 120 live workshops every month, collective of 40 teachers, each doing 2 or 3 workshops about everything

yoga, tantra,

really the best tantra spiritual teachers in our kind of community, offering workshops as part of academy each month

promo code, 1 month free subscription

TP: love and creativity from gay community, light years ahead, very impressed, super excited

bored and frustrated with apathy a lot of sectors in the straight world, more balanced, flowing, creative energy, queer communities, more invigorating, more fun, west hollywood more fun, follow the fun, get over it

JT: why do I do all of this, for me, it comes back to my belief in love, that is the ultimate truth,

vocation, dedication of my life, help men find that truth, or find their own truth inside themselves, thanks for having me

tantra4gaymen.com

download app

tantra4gay men app in google or apple store

Vanessa Soulxo Collage

The Egalitarian Future of Spiritual Leadership with Vanessa Soulxo TPP245

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In this episode I’m joined again by Vanessa Soulxo for a discussion on the shift from hierarchical to egalitarian spiritual leadership

About Vanessa:

Vanessa LeMaistre is a Spiritual & Soul Empowerment Activist. Her platform provides a self-improvement/positive lifestyle brand to customers who are looking to feel whole within themselves. Vanessa has overcome a lot and believes if she could, so can you. Vanessa is very inspirational and she aspires to inspire. She provides inspirational youtube videos on her youtube channel: www.youtube.com/uareart and on her social media platforms she promotes exerts and positive affirmations from her upcoming book. You can find her on social media platforms such as Ig, snapchat, Twitter under the name: vanessasoulxo which is also the name of her website domain. Her Facebook is her first and last name: Vanessa LeMaistre

Please visit her website at:
vanessasoulxo.com/

My Non Verbatim Notes:

VS: training in Colorado, graduating in may with resilient leadership program, focus on sustainability and social justice, great program, what are we gonna do with this kind of knowledge

interesting experience, expanded so much in ways, politically, climate crisis

download this morning: earth tells us how strong it is by showing us

we can damage, be so cruel with capitalistic ways, but mother earth is resilient

shamanic training, working with plant medicines

tarot reading, spiritual and intellectual, recommended naropa, eastern/western philosophy, perfect for someone who’s a seeker, however a lot of charlatans there

some professors spiritual leaders, major issues with…middle aged white men still stuck in the patriarchy

no longer this hierarchy, all about me, bow down to me and I take all the power, future of leadership, switch from hierarchy to more egalitarian, we’re all equal

taking away guru, bow down to me paradox, scarcity mindset

I have to be willing to accept when I need people who are more powerful than me

age of aquarius, take away old paradox of capitalism and hierarchy, one person on top

abusive treatment from spiritual leaders

Naropa’s in Boulder, spiritual hub, growing business, spiritual businesses, people are capitalizing on it, most of the people are fake, heartbreaking to see cultish behavior, the more followers a person has, the more manipulation

people called out yoga teacher on her healing that needs to happen, she went bezerk

if you’re on a leadership platform of any level, you should be ok to be called out, no body’s perfect

if you say I’m a healer, I’ve healed everything you’re a liar

witness middle aged white professors, spiritual leaders

ego thing

TP: professors should get paid on a curve, based on votes from students to balance the power

VS: students, pests, total followers, have no sense of self

spiritual jabs

you don’t throw jabs at students

you’re not coming from a kind place, so shut the fuck up

TP: can draw upon traditions of sadistic initiation and humiliation

the fuckery of Tibetan Buddhist, secret sex cult, academic analysis of distortion of men being in monastic chastity, creepy manipulators, collusion, hexes, spells, death threats

VS: last thing you want to do is be manipulating people by throwing spiritual jabs, because those cuts hurt deeper

plant ceremony circles, cultish mentality, manipulation, shaming everyone that comes there

are you actually doing the work, shows you really have so much work you need to tend to

forget you

TP: need to be roasted more often not less often if you have power

enlightenment, be kind and not criticize everything

Deepak Chopra, non-judgment

mind hacks, positive/constructive inner voice redirection

VS:

shambala center scandals, male dominated institutionalized sectors, zen buddhism, so male dominated

sexual tension is real, things are going down in an ill way

really sad

woman of color, not many at all in the spiritual industry in America, so much of what has arose has come from indigenous cultures even African indigenous cultures, raped, stolen

TP: sages, saints, prophets, messiahs, too much to ask of pantheon of god men, why isn’t there an exalted female voice representing the divine goddess or earthly embodiment

collective messiah, sisterhood witch coven, actually has each other’s backs, hard to find, not about most money, biggest boobs, clearest skin, politics are distorted, only thing I’ve seen work is magic mushrooms, tone down that ego

collective of empowered righteous medicine women, collectively channel a bigger voice

VS: we’re not sustainable, that paradigm is no longer sustainable, not balanced

Egypt: ancients believed when a man achieved a high amount of knowledge spiritual and power, he would be allowed to wear a long haired wig to symbolize that he had reached a certain level of that equal to a woman

behind every successful man is a strong woman holding him up, keeping him balanced, bringing him peace

recognizing each other’s strengths

look at all these buildings, not sustainable

machismo, misogynistic mentality, disrespecting yourself

you’re describing the woman in the house that I’m initiating into

not getting vibe of competitive, ego, money power, real sisterhood, shocked right now

TP: not an economy of male attention, have each other’s back, like links of armor together

VS: there was one guy that they where gonna bring in to initiate into our house, mother of the house started asking for dreams, said she had dreams that were very revealing about him, how he was betraying and backstabbing, the way the sister’s joined it was unbelievable, if anyone messes with any one of us, we’re all gonna have each others back

TP: dream of goddess temple , powerful men, bow down to fem domme’s

VS: that’s what we need, systems are so broken, education, judicial, health, how can we bring in more divine masculine, and divine feminine, lacking, how can we merge spirituality with these systems for greater collective awaking

TP: divine feminine is coming through no matter what, divine masculine, it’s gonna be a struggle, to topple the demonic overlords, if you could push a button to dissolve homophobia, divine masculine would fill hearts of all men on earth

men want to play with witches, gotta give each other coconut oil massage first

VS: amazing people, transgendered, no how to bring in both, balanced, gurus, two spirited, amazing human beings, kind, empathetic, understanding things differently

TP: tantric alchemy, triangle, masculine feminine bottom corners, ascension of kundalini, meet and become one at the top

VS: back in 2017, working at crystal shop in venice, beach, santoria woman comes in calls me out, you’re haitian, already reclaimed you, just haven’t initiated you yet, I was doing my own spiritual thing, predicted I would be working with plants

when joined program, friend invited me to a cacao ceremony, I’m thinking I’m gonna do chocolate, heard it opens heart, makes more loving, there’s a fire pit, middle of night, circle, passing around green powered, why is this green, whatever, dark paste to put on gums, must be cacao, intense vulnerable experience, beautiful

wasn’t cacao, that was coca, in concentrate form, door way led into whole path with medicines, microdosing with magic mushrooms, ayahuasca, universe is smart, had I known it was coca I would have been like no I’m not doing that

TP: decriminalization nature movement, entheogens decriminalized in Santa Cruz,

dance with haitian priestesses, throughout development, haitian shamanic revolution, invocation, deities, ancestors, spiritual revolution, not marx, not communism, party line, indigenous, totally

VS: all this stigma about what voodoo is, that is how they won the revolution in 1804 no other black free nation until 150 years later, cecile fatiman, pig ceremony started the revolution, shamanism, paganism, trance like states

what led me to this path, haitian priestess voodoo initiation, getting into plants, connecting with ayahuasca, beautiful experience for shipibo, saw me, called to that medicine, wanna find who I’m gonna learn from

got back from jungle, grandmother, what are you doing in the jungle taking medicine, pagaism, witchcraft, when that happens, when you’re called its not you, you’d not choose voodoo, voodoo chooses you

TP: you do you and voo doo you

VS: lineage is calling you, ancestors wanted you to leave California to get you some where calm and quiet so they could start tapping in, all these dots started connecting

researching portals, deities, very powerful, not spirits you want to take lightly, have a lot of sincerity, they can get upset if you disrespect them, I’m learning a lot

mother of house did a reading, can’t just pay to be a high priestess, spirit needs to confirm initiation, its not for everybody

born into hatiain lineage

grew up with mallato family, strong french presence, history of haiti, didn’t allow voodoo, combinations of saints because they were not allowed, raised catholic, all about white is right, american dream

had to come to truth with myself, with my soul, intense level I’m being called

TP: mixed healing arts

VS: I’m a make up of 3 races, I feel equally connected to plant medicines, and bringing in hatiain high priestess patheon, making it my own modernized way, very empowering, I go march 10th, I’ll be back the 24th, that initian is pretty intense, you’re told mysteries, I don’t even know what I’m getting into

Bufo toad, 5me0 dmt, more powerful than ayahuasca, really excited

TP: you’re feeding your fire with the antics of the patriarchs, so shallow, so obvious, paradox of ego, just the desire to destroy ego is a from the ego

VS: constantly check myself, not doing it primarily for me, doing it for others service, finding that balance, last thing I want to do is be a slave to my calling, constant checking am I happy, will this make me happy, wanna be happy getting up everyday doing the work, take some of the me out

TP be frugal, live simply, if majority of net worth being directed towards healing, transformation, liberation, you’ll continually get resupplied, just like a garden

VS: plan, determined to have a church, self love center, don’t want a podium, just sit down in a circle and just talk, everyone welcome, atheists are welcomed, that’s how I’d bring people to god, hopefully empower each other, getting closer to our truth

balance of old traditions but being radical, finding balance

really called to go to l.a. really scary, demonic forces there

TP: align with nature you’ll be blessed, beach, ocean, hiking trails, protected wild areas, wild coast line

things about la that do drive me crazy and make me sick

I been here chasing dreams, having enough come true I’m ready to chill more, enjoy fruits of labor put in over the course of almost 20 years, done really well, almost like vegas too, if you don’t have your shit together it can tear you apart and drag you down

VS: living in heart of hollywood, studio apartment so peaceful, 3 am , yelling, toxcity, energy so intense, I have to be shielded on another level spiritually to go in and do the work

TP: have a yard, ecosystem you can draw from, rather than be stacked in an apartment, co-op houses, yard spaces garden sanctuary, capture rain water, transforming homes, eco sanctuaries

where ever you go don’t lose that connection to the soil, have more freedom, hang clothes out to dry, pets will have a better life

you can be safe from crime, but not safe from neighbors who don’t want you to grow food in your front yard

east of l.a. river, parties all night long, soulful dance music

pacific palisades, between malibu and santa monica, coast line, trails, less population, still half hour away from sunset strip, if you want to play that game, it’s a gamble, tango with the matrix

VS: start small, hopefully get congregation to build it up, lets expand, love to have a store too, do workshops, give people opportunities to shine there light, on different things, diversity, inclusivity, reinvent our current