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Mindfulness, Nature Immersion, and The Pacific Crest Trail with Jessica Moon TPP241

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Jessica Moon In a Boat Smiling

In this episode I’m joined by Jessica Moon for a conversation on mindfulness, nature immersion, and hiking the Pacific Crest Trail for 5 MONTHS!

About Jessica:

Jessica Moon is a Stress Management Coach who focuses on Mindfulness and Nature Immersion as vehicles for powerful healing and evolution. From many years in corporate America to hiking the Pacific Crest Trail, Jessica has a broad range of life experiences that has provided her the insight to guide and transform in her one on one coaching practice. She is an advocate for mental health awareness and diversity in the outdoors, and active in building her local community.

Instagram: @jessicamoonco

My (non verbatim) notes:

TP: Jessica Moon, old dear friend, along the ride of tantra punk journey since very beginning around 2013, was shocked to find that name hadn’t already been turned into some sort of persona online, hopefully I’ve done my best

she’s way beyond a supportive friend, an inspiration, somebody who’s kept me on a very ethical and conscious path, has given me lots of great feedback

talk about her path, eco psychology, forest bathing, many ways to look at benefits of spending time in nature, deep personal journeys of long distance hiking

extra bonus, you might recognize her silky voice as the voice of the outro on all of my episodes, does a wonderful job of doing the wrap up details, its a treasure to have that mystery voice be on the podcast

JM: working on getting people outdoors, help people see benefits of being immersed in nature, millennials , anyone can benefit, remove barriers to help people really benefit

start when I younger and in college I was a sexual health peer mentor for my university, worked with my peers to educate them on health topics, disseminated health and hygiene products through the outreach center, help become more empowered

after graduated, joined nature center, help plan ecological programs and events, natural conservation for the city, got to work with variety of people

it was a very beautiful experience to be intimately connected with these people, very active motivated hikers, some people who’d never spent time even at a park

really wanted to help people have a more enjoyable, more intimate experience with natural world

then got into corporate world, for about 5 years, it was good to learn a lot of skills, but definitely aching, stress, heaviness of not having that immersion that I used to have

caught up in career, societies idea of success, lost connection with self, deep connection with natural world

year, decided to hike pacific crest trail, had been training, reconnecting with mountains, beaches, when I took the leap, and left for the trail, such a transformation from being immersed in the wilderness, back country for 5 months, feel completely at peace now that I’ve had that experience, affirmed, not everybody can take that much time off their life

but any amount of time is so beneficial, now that I’m back, into the science, philosophy, how to get more nature time into our busy lives, liberating motivating

TP: want to get into the drama of this whole arch of preparing, doing some permaculture the other day, mentioning we were gonna talk about this, the PCT, how do people survive, you can’t bring a semi truck water tank that drives behind you, what are the amenities on the trail, he said people will send selves care packages, I don’t really have a clue

JM: the resupply logistics, first, instead of one really long trip, think of as series of 3 to 5 day, sometimes more than 7 days depending on snow, how quick you hike, generally 3 to 5 days, given that , hiker hunger, metabolism working so hard, never felt hunger like that before, if you think about it as you’re going town to town, long series of small backpacking trips, you can self packages ahead of time, my strategy was I resupplied in town, if you’re lucky, supermarkets, sometimes just gas station, generally you know, or if you didn’t ask around, anticipate that, if you go get into a town with a big grocery store, buy food, ship it forward, only did for really small towns, didn’t want to eat pop tarts and snicker bars, backpacking food, if you don’t go really expensive route, has a lot more nutrients compared to options like instant ramen, after a while, can’t eat this any more, try to mix it up, hit up bulks, blessing to find bulk section, keeping an open mind, would have been hard if I had any dietary restrictions if I was vegan or gluten intolerant, I would have done more sending myself ahead of time, its really not that much cheaper or convenient to send yourself the boxes ahead of time, you’re tastes change

you don’t have a car, last thing you want to do is walk more

TP: from prepper survivalist world, lot of people in fantasy land, vision of how their gonna be so fit, prowess, bad ass, when zombie apocalypse happens, but they’re not conditioning in the mean time, but the experience of doing this endurance drill, makes me think everything has to be so tightly economized, efficiency, variables to consider, you’re probably better prepared for anything to go wrong, then people who make a whole life style out of being a prepper, tripping me out

could you tell me about some of the sort of dietary life hacks that you came up with, as some one doing this frugally, out of necessity, on a budget, how to have healthy food and not junk food

JM: does take a toll, body type can’t just eat anything, when I was on trail, I was like omg I can eat chips and candy, I really felt terrible, I really need to take care of myself, I was like okay I really need to change the trajectory of my nutrition, took a lot of supplements, glucosamine , multivitamin, try to pick up juice shakes, I needed that because when you’re on the trail, you have to consider weight right, weight expense and convenience

for example, you can get tuna packets, just a staple for hikers, thing about them, not terribly expensive, but not cheap either, on cost, in the circle of the through hikers, most people agree it’s about $1000 a month, on a tighter budget its possible to hike less, you’re gonna be spending less time in town, if you’re a social person its a fun part of the experience to explore the town

if you’re on a tight budget its definitely possible to do the hike on less, buy the food in bulk previously

dehydrating food at home and sending forward, people get sick of the same food, but you can spend a lot more on the trail as well, stay in hotel, one bed vs 6 hikers, or alcohol, or deserts, depends on person, average person not super luxurious is about $1000, barrier to entry is not accessible to everybody, it is a big trip, felt very privileged that I had opportunity

TP: bullet points, staple macro nutrients, can feel you on the weight and price, on that path as urban survivalist, trying to figure out what my pallet will enjoy and what my guts will handle, I could have the most Bourgeoisie, organic fresh catered diet to the maximum degree of what I know is the ideal, but if I did that I wouldn’t be able to do anything else, joke about “whole paycheck”

but I do believe in my heart of hearts that there are life hacker ways to have extreme frugality, but have extreme nourishment, bulk, group buys, I’m curious for you, fats, proteins, carbohydrates in that framework, stuff you could tolerate the longest, didn’t make you sick, sweet spot of weight and cost, ramen doesn’t cut it

JM: biggest thing for me, that I bough dehydrated vegetables, basically a soup mix, in bulk, just add it to everything, find the vegetables that you like, if you have a dehydrator, I would say incorporating vegetables into your diet no matter what, can eat dried meat, jerky, bison bars, sausage, tuna or chicken pouches, but if you just have that, you’re lacking that balance,

really enjoyed dried, pre prepared beans, really not that expensive, compared to bison bar, or higher end nut butters, just dried beans, make sure they’ve been dehydrated as cooked beans, they’re like bean flakes, if you’re vegan or something, or if body can’t tolerate fat anymore, its really high fat out there, powered humus also an option

sunflower seeds are really cheap

also drink powders, couldn’t handle the sugar, protein powders keep you full

cheeses work really well, lactose intolerant, but a popular lunch was a flour tortilla, summer sausage, and hard cheese

things like spam, powdered eggs, dehydrated milk, I really enjoyed dried veggies, dried fruits

chilli mangos was a treat, new technologies for much lighter, dehydrated and freeze dried veggies and fruits

really liked raw stuff, everything was so dry, and processed, but things like nutritional yeast, everything but the bagel package, sauce packets, miso soup, chicken noodle soup, powdered taco mix

lots of sodium and preservatives, but they’re light, cheap, last a long time, if in a pinch they have something to offer

I just bit the bullet and got green juices, or super food mixes whenever I could afford it

avoid ramen, so many other things available, entire bagels, last for a few days, instant rice and potatoes, always a staple, nan flat bread, corn tortillas don’t last very well, whole slices of bread, couscous was really popular

you have you’re good old trail mix, mixing it up and making it different, you really start to despise it

TP: shifting into more paleo and keto trend if you will, and so I’ve been experimenting a lot with build seeds, grinding into a more palettable form, powdered tahini, from bulk sesame seeds, grinding down to pumpkin seeds, mixing with coconut oil, like bread and butter, get that experience but it’s low carb, more protein, then having that fat, thinking about weight factor

were people bringing tubs of coconut oil or was it just too much weight, olive oil or other oils, calorie dense but you can’t eat that that much of it

JM: lots of oil, add a scoop of coconut oil to your meal, delicious, add more calories, seen people carrying full glass bottle of hot sauce, to spice things up, seen someone carry a glass jar of coconut oil

when for lighter right

went for single use coconut packets, a light way to incorporate into meals, trying to avoid highly processed carbs, I don’t make me feel that great

nuts, sunflower seeds, chia hemp and flax seeds also in my diet

they’re just delicious

TP: sprouting seeds and recycling water?

JM: read about a woman who sprouted just in a tupperware, poked holes, put a piece of cheese cloth, had fresh greens all week

broccolli, peas, lentils, alfalfa, also there was a time where there was a bunch of rain, miners lettuce foraging in oregon, what if I just threw some of that in to my ramen

TP: what level of foraging is legal/desirable, plant ID nerds, not gonna survive 100% but hope they wouldn’t be too restrictive about that kind of stuff

JM: I really can’t say, if we’re allowed to, it’s a protected trail, but in oregon you have to have a permit to forage for wild mushrooms, also, I definitely eat the huckleberries on the trail that were everywhere, just so many

TP: some things are invasive too, its a benefit

JM: thank you these giant berries we’re going into the trail

if I had a little more confidence in local flora and fauna, know for sure you can’t hunt, if it was permissible I’d totally lead a group, let’s get launch, wild mustard, miners lettuce, local invasive plants, didn’t have personal experience foraging, other than the berries

TP: people not yet in romance with nature yet, remember when I didn’t feel a romance with nature, grew up playing in woods, at the beach, wasn’t a deep yearning to connect with something I’d never known, didn’t feel deprived, took it for granted, video games started to eat my childhood, I don’t want to say disenchanted, I can commiserate with the people who feel like they feel more excitement from video games, socializing, hipster strips, when go out to nature I’m bored, cynical earlier in life, then rekindled romance through gardening, seeking healing, would love to have you in your words, help people feel into the shifts and transformation and deep soul tissue healing that’s happening, if you could romanticize the journey

JM: I think just to start it off, if you’re not in love, or find yourself bored, but you’re stressed out, want to work on health, nurture it better, just like to share, some of the research that is, where we are right now with nature immersion is where yoga was, in terms of more mainstream, widespread, growing body of research combined with intuitive understanding, tipping point, health researchers, government, very progressive, bring nature to people’s every day lives, it can lower stress hormone levels, reduce nervous system arousal, enhance immune system function, decrease anxiety, improve mood, help with aggression, accelerate healing

highly stimulated in this world now, if you want to try, give it a chance, big study, 20k people, people who spent 2 hours a week in green spaces, parks, neighborhood with a ton of trees, just hanging out and removing yourself from urban environment, traffic, noise, any kind of natural environment, either all at once or spaced out, like taking 10 minutes on launch break, fresh air, giving self space

attention restoration theory, allows brain to restore, allows cognition, your brain giving it space and time to relax, when you go back to desk or work, cognition levels are much better

little things like that, if you’re not someone who gets super excited, its such an easy thing, give yourself 10 minutes, 2 hours a week spread out, try it

when we make something important, our health, mental health, emotional states, spiritual states, at very least, relax and think, relax and not think, taking time to do that, make it important, have that connection with natural space it will begin to show itself to you

a friend that is not trying to tell you what to do with your life, or unsolicited advice, they’re just there, allow you to work through whatever you’re going through

natural world all of the patterns that exist in that space are things that as humans we’ve evolved with, all very familiar

one quote I really love, from scientist who was a pioneer for forest bathing Japan, “we are visually fluent in the patterns of the natural world, because we evolved in the scenery of the natural world we can process its patterns easily, it is this fluency that relaxes us”

TP: stress less, talk to the nature painting, talk to the landscape

JM: with my own business, researching so much, why isn’t this more popular, why isn’t this more well known

allow attention to restore our brains, to chill out, thinking tests better, in New York, some crazy busy place, even just looking at pictures of nature, videos, listening, put on headphones listen to nature sounds

all of that is beneficial, so it’s like why not

not the most stimulating, in terms of instant gratification, but if you make your health, mental health, emotional state, a priority, 10 minutes a day for you to level up

TP: PSA for gamers, as of just very recently Santa Cruz has joined Oakland, decriminalize entheogenic plants and fungi, the whole suite of plant derived entheogens, still federally highly regulated, but just like cannabis, this movement is growing very fast, #decriminalizenature, I feel like for me what shift was the romance with nature 10xed when I started to integrate dancing in the garden with psychedelics, because all of that dopamine you’d get from slaying dragons in a video game world, you’ll be that thrilled just watching the flow of nature, and being a part of it, and doing your own shadow work, and having nature spirits help you with that

don’t want impose that narrative on our work

JM: hemp will save the world environmentally

TP: what are some of the more cinematic moments

JM: very very beautiful views are conducive of these type of moments, knowing that when you’re looking out on this beautiful landscape, mountain peaks, feel very small, but very connected, look out and see all these pieces of me, subatomic particles, everything is me, and I am it, really grounding type of experience to have, look out, wow all the issues I’m struggling with or limiting factors, or negative head space, all that just dissipates, because you put things into perspective, look into the night sky, see the stars, and you just, sense of awe, and admiration, and deep respect, when you are just so connected, just in tune

TP: I feel that, live for those vistas, any times where equipment failed, or got soaked, freezing, suffer through a night, moments of triumph

JM: I would say nature is cruel but powerful mistress, so like, in the same way that it will guide me into this revelation about absolute awe adoration, at the same time I’ve been cold, and hungry, and so defeated, but I think those are the moments when we’re struggling, going through change, extreme internal conflict due to weather and terrain, you’re able to grow, I have so much respect for nature, those experiences teach you how to tap into your grit, drive is more important than intrinsic motivation, which is fleeting, tap into own tenacity, hardship

when things are gravy at home, stressed out from work or life, but physically when you are drenched, no placed to put your tent, or snow, post holing thigh deep, on side of mountain gotta get off but sun is setting

even just being out there and pushing yourself is honestly the best way to make a transformation, quickest and most impactful way

meditation is very powerful and important, but holy moly I just did that, very immediate evolution when you experience that kind of physical challenge

just think about it, anytime you get pummeled in the ocean, I respect you so much, I will not through trash in you, I’m just a naked human, a flesh bag

TP: break up, death of loved own, quitting smoking or drinking, seems like any kind of major shift or transition even if its just a week, sounds like you’re a great person to be an evangelist for this, and it’s not a pill that you just take and pay big pharma to have you on a pill for the rest of your life, hopefully get off anti-depressants, I can feel that

we’ll have you back to talk more about your business, thought about doing meet ups, I was just exposed to night hiking, maybe we’ll be looking forward to what you have to offer, more than welcome to promote

JM: for now, instagram up, jessicamoonco on instagram, hoping to launch officially next month if you are stressed out, want some mindfullness guidance and encouragement to get out doors, definitely check me out, jessicamoon.co forthcoming

TP: heart ached when you told me you were in a corporate career, didn’t hear the exhuberance in your voice when you told me about it, glad it served you well for business administration, training for solopreneur, blessings to everyone who thrives in that environment, having known you at the peak of your youthful enthusiasm for exploration and breaking rules and being a rebel, I’m so thrilled to know that everything is coming full circle for you.

I had similar story of it being incongruent with spirit/soul being in a cubicle, but knowing when I was in corporate environment I was mining the experience so I wouldn’t just be a broke ass hippy, I’d know how to take a penny and make two pennies with out

JM: thank you so much for having me, thank you so much for your attention and hope we can get out doors, level up, hope you have a beautiful week

TP: been a treasure and blessing, much love to you and all your beloveds

Lab Report: Shaktification as Non-Invasive Demonectomy TPP232

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sexual-healing-with-psychedelic-goddess-worship In this episode I share a lab report from mid 2019 which documents an important break through in my sexual healing with psychedelic goddess worship research. The mixed and mastered version of the Psychedelic Goddess Worship track on the Sexorcism the Tantric Opera album proved to have powerful potentials to induce what I’m calling “shaktification as non-invasive demonectomy. My (non-verbatim) show notes are below.

Non invasive is used for surgeries, the body is not penetrated

Man cave, goddess temple lave, unclinical lab, produced an album to create the vibrational landscape for a non-invasive demonectomy on my self

multiple sessions, increasing doses’

could solve the problem of how do you induce a non-invasive demonectomy, that’s effective, unlike the techniques of the dominant paradigm of exorcism, the catholic church and their protocols

with an understanding, time does not heal, if untreated the infections only get worse and in the case of men, there’s a higher potential of survivor-perpetrators

for women, less likely to harm others, but will often harm themselves, that’s the handy work of the demons that were inserted into them in acts of abuse and molestation

demons express themselves in female survivors much less as sexual offense

in males, less divine feminine grace, cults of gang rape, women don’t usually form thug cults of rape

don’t know of any witches who are known to have done that

but men, gang up and bully runts on football team, and geeks in the classroom, they gang up and rape the cheerleaders, their so susceptible and when you get survivors in that mix, its that much more of a cascading effect

it should be axiomatic, if that infection doesn’t get disinfected immediately, than you are harboring, just like Geiger shows us, is the “face huggers”, that’s what he’s talking about, it’s all demons, their parasites, inject themselves into human host, sexual aliens, if there was a xxx Giger, that’s me, showing what’s going on

gotta figure out how to interrupt the larval cycle, to interrupt the propagation

some times sexual penetration is appropriate, however there are times when it’s not

there’s a magical power that flows through, the goddess kali shaki, and the magic mushroom, what I can demonstrate and have footage of, is capturing the rapid seizure like convulsions that occur with the shakti is invoked, not just shivers, not just normal kriyas, a controlled seizer

a presence of mind, it’s possible to surrender, but be prepared, yoga, martial arts, dancing, landscaping, know my body and have agility to phase in and out of possession states

not faking, not faking, not a parlor trick, not a magic trick, not putting on a show

I have the ability to shut it off, goddess has been earning trust from me so I can surrender more
use elbows to brace neck, stay ahead of the sense of more intense movements

set and setting for combat training, you could use padding, or train on the beach

design consciousness of low impact, the sand absorbs impact, avoiding pavement

expecting to trash around, expecting to be taken for a ride, do due diligence to be warmed up enough

not be in a contortion to snap their neck, people doing jiu jitsu, they’re aware of when they’re in danger, and maneuver out of it

gotta be bad ass ninja warriors

it’s possible, I’ve proven to myself, that adding more people is beneficial, but in the dilemma of when you can’t add anybody, what do you do, well this seems to be it, maybe not the only thing, but could be more effective than calling the local priest exorcist

they did the deeds themselves and now they’re gonna do the exorcism, you brought the demons you’re not taking them out

sexorcism that doesn’t involve any inappropriate touch or any touch at all

it happened to me to a degree never before experienced

it’s happened before, but not to this extent

she’s like an infinite array of octopoid, insectoid, she has the ability to move you in a lot of different ways

she’s going in and doing a demonic abortion

what she’s doing is what an abortion doctor would do

as sad and heartbreaking as it can be, that’s what goddess kali is doing the demons in the chakras, she’s sucking and pulling them out

these are fully formed, although I do see often that there are multiple life stages, there are hatchlings, old ones, etc. we don’t know how long they live

shamans probably have a clue, but we’re grasping in the dark, but that’s what’s happening

if you watch sexorcism the tantric opera where there’s a lot of hand laying on people, sometimes just the aura, it’s a lot of handy work, but what has been achieved to an extreme with me, is that with the track “psychedelic goddess worship” singing the mantras along with it, its raiding the demon nest, allowing kali to do the demonectomy, extracting these violent creatures, shifts in the amount of demonic load, measurable, this is like colonics

I think I made an important discovery, a hands off, solo, non-invasive demonectomy, you may want to try this yourself and go from no medicine, to cannabis low to high dose, then mushrooms low to high dose, and experiment with the music, looping the track psychedelic goddess worship in setting where you have people watching over you, and you’re surrounded by cushions, and you have martial arts/yoga background, be agile like a cat to prevent injury, if that’s you and you’re suffering and you’ve not found healing in toxic relationships, in psychiatric drugs, or yoga postures, or vipasan, or being saved by Jesus, or getting an exorcism, or singing hare krisna, or doing a detox, I say try everything else , this is a last resort

these are things that I”ve seen that will turn you white, like Winston from Ghost Busters

old school orthodox sri rama krisna order kali worshipers say things like think about it, people go to kali when they’re crushed, when they’re hating life because “it least there will be peace”, they’re harangued by demons, you go to the kali temple and there is peace, hopefully not a patriarchal priesthood

I emphasis female kali priestesses in my work, trying to get back the secret mantras, and decode the art,

the braminization of the goddess, “she was a tribal deity who was absorbed into vedic pantheon”

she was/is a village goddess

decolonize your tantra

get back to psychedelic village level goddess worship

occupying armies, languages, soma, occupying, absorb goddesses take them away from the people then feed it back to them and it’s all corrupted, bastardization by priest craft, put in empire of ego, male ego

I bow down to women who are priestesses, sorting it out, pagan villager medicine woman shamanism craft, that’s what we want to get all the way back down to

the pure hearted matriarchs of the village, witch craft

I’ve said it enough times now, how to translate this, we need to give a voice to the witches and let them do it laboratory conditions

I’m just the messenger, the source is the dakinis and yoginis, who are in state of grace simply because they dont’ have a penis that can be weapons

I don’t have a clue about what was really going on with the cult of the 64 yoginis but there seems to have been a ratio of men to women where women are quite obliged to run the show, quite obliged to minimize and intelligently design with the shiva energy, operating within their coven

I will only get better and better at doing the scholarship on these claims

women are blessed and women are cursed and we need to address this without the backlash

we can be brothers in prostration to the goddess, and experience our masculinity in its most potent form

we’ll get hardest erections when we worship the goddess

ritualized sexual matriarch, that’s probably a useful simplified term

a more rapid depiction

high dose mushrooms, safe-ish setting

looping the track psychedelic goddess worship, mixed and mastered version

never before got as far

turned into an astral battlefield, astral combat, very much like scene in big trouble in little china, when Lo Pan fights Eg Shen, astral avatars battle on their behalf

I got into contortions, spontaneous mudras, like speaking in tongues with your hands, never been trained to do, never done before, seeing my fingers become like black widow spider legs, beautiful sacred geometric formations, like weaving a spider web, as I invoke her more and sing her in more, I become what looks like a mix of black soldier fly and cobra, slithering sounds, autonomically happening the more I surrender, seeing myself as sort of dragon fly mixed with black widow, seeing now how you can allow yourself to be, in a benevolent manner, but possessed, so she can devour demons through you

co-presence between dimensions, I had to think omg this is the fly, I’m Jeff Goldbloom, but that was so gruesome and hideous, but this was beautiful, how could that be re-imagined so it was totally beautiful…so the triumphantness of the incredible hulk, still shocking and bizarre, but whats’ the more beautiful transformation where you see it as totally beautiful and elegant, nothing horrific about it, what would that be, there’s a shape shifting character.

it’s like super mario brothers when you get the tanuki suit, you jump on the mushroom and then basically you become big, you go fast, you have super powers you jump high, game play is enhanced, and with the tanuki suit you get this magic item, this feather, if you get it you can jump and almost fly, you get lift off like a helicopter, its been a long time but the thing I’m pointing to is, imagine you have the power to shape shift, as powerful as incredible hulk but not as nasty and freakish as the fly, it’s not like a horror movie like Freddie Kreuger, nightmare on elm street part two where he comes out of the guy and just sheds him, that’s the ugly version, that’s not what I’m talking about, she’s elegantly sharing my space, I am her she is me, queen bee, cobra snake, transitioning to that with the beauty and elegance of the tanuki suit. Maybe in the Star Trek movie where Kirk ends up getting it on with a shape shifter, she was totally hot, she was actually a beast that can shape shift, imagine that you could totally shape shift into a creature and have it be seamless

it’s possible to invoke the goddess and for her to embody you, and not just putting on make up and pretending to be her iconic formation
I normally see her outside of me, this time more than ever, she enveloped me, I’ve been enveloped by her, clamped down on me, fucking me to purify my chakras, but still being outside of me, penetrating, workign through me, she can swim through me, but like being enveloped by a jellyfish, about to get teeth into my chakras

but this way, she is in my like thundercats

another bad version is like the Edgar suit from Men in Black, demons wear me like the Edgar suit, but Kali wears me to extract the demons from the Edgar suit so I can just be Edgar again, then she’s in the suit, but not possessing to do harm

Sufiana didn’t report becoming the insectoid being, but she described herself rolling out her tongue and hissing, the deity possession trance state, the shamanic healing state

I documented that process later, being very limited financially, very limited with legal sanctioning if at all, having some blessing and bold outlaws to join forces with me, not me manipulated a cult, but me offering educational tools, not involving my dick

I keep my pants on for people who are not my lovers, is that fair, that’s probably a fair way to say it, if you’re my client my pants are on, if you’re my lover, that’s negotiable

back to the non-invasive…able to move massive chunks, being rattled like a freight train, by her, squeezing and working with her to do the contracts, she’s doing the work of the abortion doctor, while I’ll in contracts and pushing out at the same time, it’s so harsh, but you know there have to have been abortions throughout time in crude conditions, certainly not modern legally sanctioned conditions, where the intent was to kill the fetus during the contractions of labor

she’s an insectoid alien goddess, with blackskin, and bejeweled eyes, like the tantric scriptures say, read the 1008 names of Kali and you’ll see the depictions

I need artists to help me with this, graphic novelists, visionary artists

if you could see a woman in labor, shaking convulsing, contracting, seizures and convulsion and simultaneously a female abortion doctor reaching in so as not to leave pieces inside trying to get everything out in one whole piece and eating that thing, but it’s not a baby it’s not in the womb, it’s demons in the chakras

an interplay between goddess kali as the hungry abortion doctor, it’s her doing what she’s evolved to do which is eat demons, I’m serving my demons to the goddess,

an interplay of surrender, and the embodying of the goddess through allow her energy and body to enter your body in a way that is non invasive, she is invasive but in a good way and in a welcomed way,

but no instruments, no cutting devices, no fingers, hands, sexual contact by humans, that’s the best way to describe what’s happening
been in this state many many times, what was different this time was the force

this was the first time I was able to do what I wanted to do all these years, was able to carry it out, to a potent degree, get a massive chunk of demonic biomass, with love and power and strength and courage of the goddess inside of me, her power to purge me, with her mandibles, ready to feast, and it being a much much bigger portion, to the degree that I got the sense that her stomach was full, it had only been oderves up to this point, they were just taking out small grains of rice with chopsticks, she was going in their with her salad tongs to get massive platefuls at once, she got so full, I felt like okay I’m exhausted, she’s full, but after these big chunks got out, hadn’t happened before

very light, blinding to the 3rd eye, sheaths my vision, no more seeing the demonic monsters coming out of me, that make alien look like bambi, all of it, once this massive chunk was taken out gets replaced by this beautiful white light, scaring me, did I damage my optic nerve, I’m just seeing pure white, fuck, there’s some kind of damage…no this is the loving light, dont’ freak out and panic now, go with it, enjoy

instructed to use my own hands, placed fingers against root chakra at the perineum, while the white light was there, use the power to seal the chakra, using massage, using this light healing energy, to use mudras, palm chakras, finger chakras, to do this healing work, like cauterizing a wound, the shakti through palm chakra and finger chakras whill the white light is there, wow, fuck yeah, anatomical surgical orthodoxy, what we think about when we talk about a chakra tune up

these analogies to auto mechanics and surgeons are very apt

you’re doing the work with her, auto-non invasive demonectomy

I had the power and free will to move my body, re-adjust for comfort, drink some water, get up and just make sure the door was locked, again, not ideal conditions

there you have it, what I’ve been working on for years, one of the most glorious since 5.5 year ago initiation with Sufiana

I would like to just be living in the world that we created, to never have been separated by financial duress, within the realm of reasonable periodicity, with medical staff, scientists, medical researchers, the Bangladesh UN security force, that’s what I fantasize about, having the support to do it right

this is like version 0.0001 of the technology, this is not ready, I don’t know what it’s ready for, if you’re suicidal right now and it’s a question of you killing yourself and you dabbling into what I’m talking about, I’m willing to take that risk, this isn’t medical advice, this isn’t therapeutic/psychiatric advise, I’ll make all the disclaimers, in the spirt of YOLO, (actually its not yolo because you live many times) don’t do this in the spirit that everybody wants to see the machine elves that Terence Mckenna talks about, this is a little more extreme than that, do this because it’s life and death for you right until we get the point with research to where so mild version exists, like salsa there will be mild, medium, hot, warning label, extreme hot

if you want to dabble because you’re an extreme case of demon infection, they’re in those hard to reach spots, there’s that song where my demons hide, you want to know, It’s possible to find out, I’m not gonna tell everyone to follow my path

Kali Mandir satsang, a lot of these scriptures, don’t think that they’re all agreed upon by all the priests and priestesses, there are things that are written in stone, but a lot of the scriptures were people exploring and taking notes, like a yogi could be saying “when I said this mantra, at this place and this time in this way, I got reversed gang banged by hot astral dakinis, and I don’t know if this will happen to you, this is me I’m doing me, you do you, I don’t want to implant thought forms and skew it, and contaminated the control group, I’m just trying to build on my own research, I love what the yogis say, talking about female astral non human entities, coming down purifying his soul and doing all this healing work, sounds like what I’m talking about and if he were on mushrooms he’d be able to describe in greater detail, or maybe he was a yogi that attained an endogenous psychedelic state

nothing new here, I’m saying things that have been suppressed for by patriarchy demonic war lords for 1000s of years, but were open source tech as sexual shamanic witchcraft, held by cultures of the world, just business as usually to maintain a shamanic community

when its a matter of infestation of lower chakras, there’s some modality that’s not creepy, predatory or abusive, to somehow empower people to have auto-non-invasive demonectomy sexorcism, auto invasive demonectomy sexorcism, I’ve milked my own prostate, kali possessing me, shards of light coming in, healing, demons coming out, most stunning gorgeous arrays, beauty is subjective, every woman and aspiring woman who ever put on make up with the intent to beautify herself, what every single one strives for is what can be seen when you invoke the goddess with these mantras, and with 3rd eye open with mushrooms

me doing me, phenomenologically, in my own bubble, the most beautiful feminine facial features, and graceful sensual movement, and just every woman or aspiring woman aspires to be, that’s what I’m given, that’s what I’m seeing and if it wasn’t for seeing that I would have ended me life a long time ago on this journey, the brutal beautiful truth is that you gotta go through hell to get to heaven, for the sake of what I’m saying now, I’ve seen the most grotesque creatures I could ever possibly imagine, and take all the monsters ever made in art and film and multiply that by a hundred, and you maybe will get close to how freakish and grotesque and disturbing and mortifying, miracle you’re not catatonic seeing this, the antidote to that hideousness, that makes it tolerable, to look at it as you’re pulling it out, the unpleasantness of removing a tape-worm, the unpleasantness of disinfecting that wound with that pus in it, and all of that, I know there are places in the world where there are blood parasite or urinary tract parasites, pulling a barbed fish parasite out of your urethra, that should feel pretty hideous and I bet that what I see in these ceremonies induces a similar level of mortification, disgust that you would have if you had to do that, while I’ve had to endure that hideousness, if you ever see the electron microscope of blood parasites, imagine if they were just, if you were in a realm where you were shrunken down to be in a massively dense cluster of all kinds of different blood parasites the ones with the circular mouths, and the ravor sharp thorny looking teeth, and weird suckers and pincers, the most alien, bizarre, monstrous, aquatic looking, arthropod looking blood parasites, imagine you were shrunken down a million times and being eaten alive but what, in scale wise becomes these giant giant monsters, then that’s what it feels like and looks like in there, I’m afraid to teach anyone to do what I have done because I fear that they would ever come back from that state of visual disturbance to where they wouldn’t just immediately slit there own wrists and literally rip there own eyes out,not knowing that they can’t reach far enough in to pull their pineal gland out, are you gonna crack open your head and pull your fuckin 3rd eye out and stomp on it, that’s what you’re gonna wanna do if you fuckin see the shit I’ve seen, omg, its nothing the shamans of the amazon don’t see every fucking day, it’s business as usual to have to confront these grotesque forms of life, if you know that you are bigger than them and you step back and you go no I’m not the shrunken millionth of a size me inside of of their world, their inside of my world and I can step up to them like standing up to a bully and I can exorcism them and I can purge them with the medicine, of course you have icaros in south America , and you have mantras in India, how to have syncretic shamanism, sacred sexuality and healing work, lets bring the best of the cultures and not be left with the patriarchal douche-baggery of suppressing the feminine

seeking the path of the goddess here we are, here I am

I get to see the antidote to that hideousness which is the extreme beauty

what makes it all worth it is the sweet beautiful blessed honor of beholding and being imbued with and making love with and being possessed by and suited up by, I have been suited up by the most loving most beautiful, most exquisitely constructed bioarchitecture deity, I don’t know maybe you gotta be the kind of person that things ants and bees are cute

this is the way to look at it, if you’ve ever thought of how in cartoons they’ve made ants and bees look pretty and feminine, and then sexualize that and m ake it into a super hot, goth, metal, sort of like, matrixy club, goth industrial club, shining latex, everything we think about the dark erotic, she is the dark erotic cartoon bee spider, just a cuteness and sexiness and a otherworldliness and an alienness, how many sexy beautiful loving aliens have we seen in sci fi, someone tell me, some show me some, I’m sure they’re in different comics and things, some of the arists they’re doing it, they’re bringing it, astral ecology with Tom Denney, his artwork is the cover of my book, you only have to wait until my book is released to see what I’m talking about, the beautiful feminine alien insectoid goddess who will turn you on, turn you inside out, but but you right back together, surgically restore the soul parts, tuck your chakras back in to your astral body, kiss you goodnight, tuck you in, all the works, the motherly maternal aspect, the sexual healing dakini wild, again, I’m saying nothing new, because you go to an orthodox kali puja and they are saying kali we love you you are the mother, you are the lover you are the friend, and not at all invoking, you hear the word mofo all the time in this culture, all over the world, I don’t know what’s going on there, this is not a Fredian Oedeple kink or neurosis, this is very different and it’s it’s own thing, I kind of went through my messiah complex already, at first I wanted everybody to fuckin know this, because it defeats the tyranny of all patriarchal world religions, more powerful more profound, more radical, more anarchistic, more revolutionary than any prophet, any christ, any saint, in buddha, any yogi,none of them delivery this unless they’re deep into the worship of kali or the tantric goddesses, of which kali is often considered to be the mother matriarchy, the queen bee of the many goddesses of the tantric pantheon, which is influenced with the vedic pantheon but has interplay ultimately with the village goddesses

the beauty is out there, the truth is out there, the beauty is in her, the truth is in there, you’ll see her the way I see her in Tom Denney’s book and on the cover of my book and I didn’t commission him to do that, he did that because he is tuned in as an artist, the way Terence Mckenna describes it to be an artist who sees the future, who can tap into the astral plane, or have the astral plane tap into them, wish me luck

pray for my protection, I’ll be doing my best to sheriff the perimeter of our reality and clean up the infection sites and to fortify the souls of the next generation and to really hospice the souls of this generation, where I am feeding and nourishing many goddesses and keeping myself as humble as possible with as small as a physical footprint of property ownership as possible, with as few possession as possible, and if surrender my money and wealth as it comes through as I have been doing to my beloved priestesses and trust that as long as they hold the sword above my hands and my head and they chose not to let the sword fall on to my arms and onto my neck than I will be continuing to do my work in a good way, and they will be the beneficiaries, they will be my sexecutioners if the time comes, each with their sharpened swords, ready to take a whack, so be it