Tag Archives: trauma

5 Tips for Staying Positive During the Covid-19 Pandemic Vanessa Soulxo TPP265

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In this episode I’ve syndicated 5 tips to stay positive during the covid-19 pandemic by Vanessa Soulxo

About Vanessa:

Vanessa LeMaistre is a Spiritual & Soul Empowerment Activist. Her platform provides a self-improvement/positive lifestyle brand to customers who are looking to feel whole within themselves. Vanessa has overcome a lot and believes if she could, so can you. Vanessa is very inspirational and she aspires to inspire. She provides inspirational youtube videos on her youtube channel: www.youtube.com/uareart and on her social media platforms she promotes exerts and positive affirmations from her upcoming book. You can find her on social media platforms such as Ig, snapchat, Twitter under the name: vanessasoulxo which is also the name of her website domain. Her Facebook is her first and last name: Vanessa LeMaistre

Please visit her website at:
vanessasoulxo.com/

My Non Verbatim Notes:

Corona virus 5 tips to stay positive

gone through tons of profound trauma, going through a traumatic time can be good

personal experience, trauma helped me prepared for times like this

get suited and booted, bring the guns out cuz we already know what that’s like

going through trauma strengthens you

when you’ve had trauma, you know here we go again, its time for me to bring my guns out and fight with life

don’t let it bring you down

personal experience, all traumas, time of transformation, completely transformed me on every level, cellular, physically, energetically

trauma is transformation

not a time to fall into hysteria

a lot of people, hysteria spreading like wild fire, people freaking out

I understand being cautious and take care of your self to not get sick, and not infect other people

take a step back, question mental health, not to judge, is it really necessary to be hysterical

falling into the trap of hysteria is a way of operating on a lower frequency, done with lack of awareness, lack of higher consciousness

operating from higher consciousness, hysteria/trauma around you, you’re able to see with keen awareness, it could always be worse

we’ve made it as an evolution this far, why not take notes on how people have survived

first time in 5 tips for how to stay positive, trust

we’ve made it this far, to freak out to the point where you think the whole world is going to end is irrational

trust in mother earth

beginning of time, life continues to go on, the universe is very sustainable

universe knows exactly what its doing

corona virus is a time for people to heal

great time for universe to heal, all of our systems to heal, coming out of a capitalistic mindset that’s no longer serving the collective, the global consciousness

opportune time to rest and recharge

time to go within

time for systems to be rebuilt

even in nature, there is a phase of hibernation, or rest, before the seed sprouts, time to reset, a system cannot be recalibrated without taking that time for pause and recluse, time to recharge

many systems that are failing, I honestly believe all the systems are failing, judicial, church, corporations, just not getting it right, hierarchical platform no longer serving themselves, each other, the earth

all systems currently failing, time to reset and recharge

connect with yourself

use this as a time to really connect with manifestation, what do you want to see the new world like

the earth is suffering, universe is exhausted, can’t keep operating the same way

what am I gonna do to change things moving forward

make changes within your being that will offset, recalibrate where you were before

shock to planet, to humanity, to be called to go within

evolve

constantly doing the same bs, gossiping about people, watching tv, feeding ourselves with all this bs, lowering frequency

universe shifting on higher frequency

I struggle with how can I connect with myself more, how can I choose to love myself more, what can I give myself today usually things that aren’t comfortable

so easy to go shopping, go out to eat

I think it’s a blessing

connect to your feet, ground yourself, connected to areas within yourself that do need healing

happening so we can heal as individuals, universe can heal as a whole

change

make the choice to change, don’t continue doing the same things you were doing before

learn the lessons, if you don’t learn them they keep showing up

earth speeding up faster and faster, if we don’t choose to evolve, things like this will happen naturally, it’s just not in alignment

choose to change

change is never comfortable, definitely takes action, what better time to change,

universe is supporting you by shattering everything that you’re used to

things will change

looking at all the change that’s happening

bringing your guns out

trusting this is okay

choose to be a better person

taking the reclusive time within yourself

not constantly looking out to feel fulfilled

change for the better

use this as an opportune time for self care

baths, journaling, meditating, walk in nature, the sun, hug a tree, feed your soul

through self care, you’ll evolve

manifest, operating on higher frequency

make shift in positive direction

through self care, living in capitalistic society, go go go, staple for a level of success, achievement that is false

earth/plants not doing that

through self care, it becomes easier to see what it is that you need to raise yourself to a higher frequency, through self care, a really big one is taking the time to set positive intentions for yourself

times get hard you do have to push harder

set positive affirmations, life will go my way, my dreams will come true, I will make it through this

I will be a good person in my community

through self care, we’ll better know how to take care of others when this does pass

this too will pass

it’s not permanent, drop the victimization

stop feeling really week, choose to feel strong

universe would never give you anything that you cannot handle

just got back from Haiti

met a really amazing guy, had this positive energy, stating that in Haiti, not one person with the corona virus, living with virus, suffering, here there’s life

so optimistic, so positive

I felt optimistic by taking on his perspective, there can be life found in the midst of all of this mess

life is within you

don’t feed into all the bs don’t just sit there and watch all the funny memes of corona virus all day long, you’re not using the time to grow

what will you stand for when things go back

things will be changed they will be transformed

 

Santa Cruz Decriminalizes Plant and Fungi Entheogens TPP236

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Santa Cruz Entheogens Approved

In this episode I share the audio recording from the Santa Cruz city council vote that decriminalized entheogens:

Resolution declaring that the investigation and arrest of individuals twenty-one (21) years of age and older involved with the adult personal use and personal possession of entheogenic psychoactive plants and fungi listed on the Federal Schedule 1 list be amongst the lowest priorities for the City of Santa Cruz.

Read more at:
https://merryjane.com/news/santa-cruz-just-decriminalized-all-natural-psychedelics

Crypto-Tantrism and Financial Continence with Lawrence Lanoff TPP229

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In this episode I’m joined by my revered crypto-tantric adept Lawrence Lanoff for an adventurous exploration of the intersections of crypto and tantra. He helps provide deep ancient and modern wisdom for surfing the big waves of changing times and maintaining a heart centered, and cool headed space of love, compassion, and fun.

We share insights on navigating the stormy crypto-currency markets and integrating new evolving trends of decentralized finance, stable coins, and other emerging crypto apps and tech.

I also share a great piece written by the musician Ben Lee on the Tantric Yoga of HODL:

https://steemit.com/cryptocurrency/@benleemusic/the-tantric-yoga-of-hodl

About Lawrence:

Lawrence is an award winning filmmaker, successful entrepreneur and early technology adopter who’s been investing in cryptocurrency since 2011.

He has directed and produced 11 feature films. Lawrence led a production team that won a Chicago Film Festival award and a United Nations Global 500 Award for writing and creating the documentary “We Can Make a Difference”.

Lawrence co-founded Lip Ink, generating upwards of $100mm in revenue and numerous product patents.

Lawrence is a best selling author, world renowned life coach, and was a featured expert in Neil Strauss’ New York Times Bestseller “The Truth”.

Please follow up with Lawrence here:
http://www.lawrencelanoff.com/

Sexorcism the Tantric Opera 01 Post-Ceremony Interview TPP228

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In this episode I’m sharing the post-ceremony interview from Sexorcism the Tantric Opera Episode 01 “Erotic Ghostbusting”.  It’s a trip to re-listen 3 years later and compassionately judge myself for how I walked a narrow path to sustain integrity to my bold claims. Life has not been a beach since then, in some ways I’ve flourished, in some ways I’ve floundered, but I’ve made progress, and as any aspiring scientific explorer knows, the process of proving out theories can be painfully slow. All in all, every breakthrough big and small will always be sweeter the fewer and further between that they are.  The wisdom of the shakti energy of transformation can be fast, but it can also be slow. Trusting, keeping the faith, and holding on for dear life to the integrity of scientific methods and medical study ethics is the name of the long game…

Sexorcism the Tantric Opera 01 Pre-Ceremony Interview TPP227

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STO Interview Pic

In this episode I’m sharing the pre-ceremony interview from Sexorcism the Tantric Opera Episode 01 “Erotic Ghostbusting”. The episode included a beautiful and powerful selection of clips from the full interview and I’ve been holding on to the whole interview for a while with the intent to eventually publish. After re-listening I feel that I’ve held true to the values and principles spoken over 3 years ago now. While I’ve told my story many times, each context brings different energy, passion, purpose, and insight to the transpersonal and universal themes contained within. The moment in my personal evolution that this interview documents is, in a classical tantric sense, as timeless and permanent as an ancient stone, yet as fleeting and transitory as a rain drop over the ocean. I was blessed to be held and heard in this interview and I will return to this moment if I ever feel led astray from my core. It’s impossible to resist change of all kinds, but the spirit of resistance will always adapt to survive.

Beta Testing Innovations in Hypnotic Trauma Healing with Ravyn Ryder TPP220

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In this episode I’m joined by the illustrious and alluring Ravyn Ryder, a highly accomplished guidess of so many things pleasurable, shamanic, entrepreneurial and much more. In this episode we do a bit of an experiment whereby I volunteer to help beta test her innovative therapeutic modality involving eroticized hypnosis for healing. We catch up a bit on her endeavors, commiserate about the need for healers to do self-care, then she facilitates my opening up about deep childhood trauma, ill-fated sexual initiations, negative hard wiring through early stages of masturbation, how I may be able to use hypnosis techniques to re-parent myself retroactively, and much more.

This was a bit of a preliminary session in that it was mostly for me to open up to her so that should could take my input and go back to her alchemical laboratory formulate a program customized for my exact needs. So this is technically part one of what may be a multi-part series where she demonstrates the scope of her offering. I, of course am thrilled and honored to be blessed with this opportunity to be a part of her creative evolution, and I’ve been wanting to explore the hypnosis field much more as my experience has been minimal to date.

The hope is that our spelunking the sexual underworld and taking a proactive and constructive approach to confronting the collective subconsciousness of rape culture will lead to healing and transformation for all victims, perpetrators, and the future generations.

Please visit her website and check out her recent blog post on the effects of porn:

https://ravynryder.com/spirituallyscientificsexblog/effectsofporn

About Ravyn:
Ravyn Ryder is an Erotic Artist, Writer, and Sensual Educator. She has worked in the past professionally with men, women and couples as a Sensual Bodyworker, Dakini, Dominatrix, Courtesan and Long-Term Companion.

She is the creatrix of Body Ryding®, a sensual massage training sequence used to empower women by teaching erotic body slides, full body massage and the art of seduction.

She is a trained Tantric Educator and is a certified Practitioner and Trainer in the Art of Bondassage®. She has studied Swedish, Thai, Lomi Lomi, and Tantric massage with amazing healers all over the world.

She has worked with Shaman’s in Central and South America doing entheogenic medicine work in constant pursuit of personal growth and eager humbleness to learn more about the divine inner and outer universe. She has just recently returned from a 4 month stint in Central America and with a desire to shed light on both the beautiful and ugly complexities of healing with plant medicines, she is working on her first novel—an intimate memoir of her recent experience.

She has a degree in Behavioral Science with a minor in Marketing. She is a certified Life Coach, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Practitioner and is trained in Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Along with bodywork and training, she offers personal coaching to men, women and couples desiring to cultivate more pleasure in their lives.

Decolonizing Love and Sex with Dr. Zelaika Hepworth Clarke TPP216

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In this episode I’m joined again by one of my favorite scholars for a deep and intense exploration of oppression and decolonization in the realms of love and sex.

She shares her theory of the “Z-spot” which is all about the multi-dimensional nature of female arousal beyond physical stimulation of anatomical spots.

We commiserate on the state of patriarchal dominance of sexual home economics and brainstorm on future pathways towards sexual utopias that are inclusive of all genders, sexualities, ethnicities, while preserving and honoring diversity, legacies of privilege and trauma, and much more.

Please visit her website here:
http://www.zelaika.com/

Gender, Sacred Sexuality and Spirit Work with Lee Harrington TPP215

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In this episode I’m very pleased and honored to be joined by the highly accomplished Lee Harrington, he is one of those very precious “where have you been all my life” kind of sapiosexual soul mates that you feel like you could talk with forever and ever.

I knew this was going to be a deep, profound, enlightening, and transformative journey. His  perspectives on sexual healing, liberation, and empowerment are vast, multi-dimensional, and infinitely thought provoking. I’m looking forward to many ongoing explorations, it felt like we barely massaged the surface.

He shares his personal background of transitioning from being born assigned female to becoming a man,  developing personal practices and group opportunities to experience sacred kink, working as an adult performer, becoming an international sacred sexuality educator and advocate, and so much more.

Our dialog felt like a free-style jam where we riffed off each other’s musings, laments, and future-positive affirmations and visioneerings. It felt like a bit of collaborative improvisational spell craft; all intended to expand love, acceptance, compassion, and co-operation.

We dance with language and he provides insight into ways to evolve the terminologies we use to define “us and them” and when appropriate, transcend to more of a continuum than a dichotomy. I’m hopeful with the application of Lee’s wisdom teachings, we’ll move towards an unprecedented global village where a new “us with them” paradigm will replace the “us and them” and “us vs them” binaries.

About Lee:

Lee Harrington is an internationally known spiritual and erotic authenticity educator, gender explorer, eclectic artist, and award-winning author and editor on sexual and sacred experience. He is a nice guy with a disarmingly down to earth approach to the fact that we are each beautifully complex ecosystems, and we deserve to examine the human experience from that lens. He has been an academic and female adult film performer, a world class sexual adventurer, an outspoken philosopher, is a kink/bondage expert, and has been blogging about sex and spirituality since 1998. His books include “Sacred Kink: The Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond,” “Traversing Gender: Understanding Transgender Realities,”“Playing Well With Others: Your Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Negotiating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities”(with Mollena Williams), “Shibari You Can Use: Japanese Rope Bondage and Erotic Macramé,” and others.  You can find Lee’s podcast, tour schedule, free essays, videos, and more over at www.PassionAndSoul.com

Lose Your False Mind, Find Your True Self & Learn to Feel Good Inside with Craig Lewis TPP214

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In this episode I’m joined again by long time friend and brother from the heart of the d-i-y punk scene Craig Lewis for a update on his adventures in travel, personal growth, recovery, mental health justice, spirituality, sexuality, and much more.

There are many profound spiritual truths and gems of sacred wisdom shared. I’m always deeply reaffirmed that our shared deep roots in the ethics and spirit of resistance from the punk rock movement have kept us motivated to fight the good fight and love the good love.  It’s invigorating to catch up with Craig and compare notes as we push ourselves ever forward towards our own evolving definitions of what it means to be spiritual warriors.

About Craig:

Craig Lewis is a rebel and he chooses to live his life built on a foundation of gratitude, peace, love, kindness, spirituality, accountability, honor, forgiveness and acceptance. He is currently living in a mountain in Mexico, seeking truth, healing and connection. Without question, Craig continues to rise ever higher on his mission to be the living proof to all, that surviving the impossible, is entirely possible.

Craig recently published his book ‘Better Days’ in Finnish, Dutch, Spanish, Tagalog and Thai, with several new translations on the way including Kiswahili and Italian.  Find out about his many books, posters and more here: Sanityisafulltimejob.org (under construction) and also via email.

Craig actively trains mental health workers, educators, people in recovery (and all interested people) throughout the world and is excited about benefiting your organizations and the lives of all via his experience, wisdom and fearlessness. 

Medium Blog: https://medium.com/@punx.in.recovery
Whatsapp: 528332944654
Punx.in.recovery@gmail.com

AI Generated Transcription:
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello David Lebovitz welcome to Township on podcast episode number 214 will be getting some major updates from our international Man of Mystery been on the show a few times before Craig Lewis you said old friends are going back many years in the anarcho-punks seen in the more radical conscious seen and he is standing in the world of pure support and mental health and really growing and transcending beyond the the system’s way of administering public policy around mental health and really taking the power back and using a DIY Spirit to do so and last time or what we’ve been since we’ve talked last I know a lot of Adventures have unfolded and and a lot of Mystique and a lot of intrigue so with all that said Craig take it away. What’s been going on with new oh my god brother it’s been I think the last time we spoke was in February to do to do a proper the discussion like this was in February of last year so it’s like I don’t know if 15 months are 16 months ago if I’m not mistaken yeah so yeah man yeah it’s been one heck of a crazy wild ride and I now live in a mountain I am in the south of Mexico and I am in a place it’s a bit hard to get you unless you have any intention to go there you make a plan and I have an apartment I got a place to live that’s affordable and I have a terrorist live off the plants and the mountains all around and hunting birds and cats that visit and live with me I don’t think the language and I’m learning and I’m just for the first time for lots of reasons this finding some sort of I don’t know how to describe it some sort of acceptance of the rationality of everything and finally some sodas thanks and all of it to be able to be in the moment and take that and transform into whatever this I dream about and end desire in a nutshell that’s where I’m at this is awesome and you sound better than ever and I know you’ve been through so much some intense inner struggles and external struggles and now to be at that place of peace and sounds like relative kind of resolution to to be posted up somewhere and then I actually have this is something I’m really fascinated in which is the economics of being a traveler in the in the modern age in the sort of how you can are you figuring out ways to economize with your resources and find ways to make your money last longer by being posting up on your travels places where you can just kind of make it stretch and last longer when can you get into some of the economics of that of that way of life cuz it’s very fascinating to me I’d love to do more traveling myself oh yeah I will check this out, man it’s a freaking disaster III what economics are we speaking of like it’s funny I landed here with a backpack okay I I had a little bit of money to just place to get a house and I’ve been like it’s been a very challenging experience to find some sort of sense of any sort of like this world episodes like some sort of solid foundation on a music and this whole crazy like a year-and-a-half will plus I like all over the world husband Ace Financial how do I describe it I don’t have like a mighty long time ago this is been like I don’t want to I do want to break up Bon Jovi cuz this is been like what we would that when they would sing in 1986 this is what they called living on his neck no other way to describe it because that’s exactly what I know to be true but so this is all crazy like how do you live how do you survive how do they make this happen I don’t think I had a choice and I think the only way I was going to heal and I get to the next place in my life to get to the next place to get to the next place what’s the not know what the heck I was doing and just trust that I did letting you know you know me I give like the roundabout Circle answer that’s like the opposite of the answer you’re seeking or the or the S you would expect or anticipate the question but that’s what you get for me so that’s my answer brother what actually did I half expected something like that where it was more I can see the strategy and being uncertainty Jake and the spontaneity of going where the wind blows you know and in following just moment-to-moment that’s that’s the dream I mean that’s the most Freedom you could ever have is to not be bound to even your own plans of your own expectations of anything in and just really trust a if I’m blessed then I’ll get fed and in Shelter tonight and if I’m not then I’ll have to wonder why with the empty stomach on the cold side park somewhere a man and I don’t like that empty stomach and I also want to just briefly go back a second before I go forward the moment I said that the answer that you were expecting I knew that was the incorrect thing to say and I immediately followed by saying the opposite because I knew that you’re not expecting that it’s like this like comfortable thing that we do when we’re communicating we make use of something that we put into the conversation but actually that’s bullshit you are understanding me more than most people would so thank you yeah crazy life man this whole reality is just you can live and people will see your heart and don’t understand that the language or how you look or you come from or any of these things they don’t matter what matters is that you can communicate from what is truly what they knew in your heart that they will see that and they will accept that and that’ll bring you the protection on the help and the loves and that everything that you need for real I love a man yeah that does that leaves Faith conduct actually reminds me something funny why I say this with all due respect cuz this fellow is one of my dear friends and we’ve sent drifted apart but but we used to be tight Bros and it was funny in a way because he came from a way more stable family and had he works really hard to be an overachiever and I watched him work harder than anybody so I don’t say that he was like a born with a silver spoon in his mouth or whatever he wasn’t he was privileged but he also was pushed to to Really develop himself but she did all the extracurricular activities and did the honours and did all this crazy prep work and and and built himself up so that he could be ivy league material to go to college and then he’d end up finding a program at a state college or State University that that he was happy with and we know I’m happy with location happy with the programming cetera and I me I dropped out literally in sixth grade was in and out of rehab and got maybe another couple of former formal semesters of high school and then dropped out again after that and then I a couple years later I got a GED and then we both end up starting at the same State University together at the same the same time and I had that been the complete antithesis of the discipline and academic rigor that he put in and we both started the same place even though we had to come about it until we different ways but I also was getting straight A’s and was dedicated so I think this is just you know that all that is to say there’s people who are rich and unhappy and don’t know what to do themselves and they’re throwing all kinds of money away and all kinds of drugs and experiences and you’re going at this is international expiration with you’re surrendering to a to the Divine forces that are guiding your your your destiny and that and I’m always impressed I’m always jealous Pac-Man you ear like living it up with the fuck all you got to do and I’m going out there listening who wants to know how to how to do it on doing are you going to do like why am I crazy like I thought I thought I had and this is the opposite of what I however I should I should restate that live your dreams like to be free to live their dreams you have to have like the Living Like Blood Parts select thing beating out of you and you have to take it and learn how to take it standing up and then smile and how does a gold medal physical and emotional heart function but for some reason on Earth why don’t you just finish it down was it yesterday in the morning and you say because I want to know of a solution and all you got is like you and Siri are you going to still that hard up with something of beauty they’re going to just like let it become like like Houston broken and like crap the pieces like a kisses ceramic that shatters and so many ways that you can’t apply the consumer D art form to like naked better to make it more gorgeous from before I don’t want to let it get to that man in so I didn’t it shows different that’s all you can do right on Manuel what does I think that’s a good sort of just catching up with bed and instead of setting the tone butt so tell me what what have you what are some of the the you’ve been through some nightmare scenarios give us some adventurous kind of thrilling updates on the record and say cuz we are because I don’t say it just lost my mind National way for me or anyone in a kind of situations that I found myself in such as being normal and that’s remember I did it start out normal normal I need to really not know what with all those pills in the nozzle Octonauts and not normal shit was it normal that had that brain injury was it normal that everything went crazy wasn’t normal so here I am like at the base of my life or the beginning of my new life not normal and so like I’m just so freaking proud of myself then I’m alive in Christ figure it out somehow that it was okay to be fucked up in the eyes of others that it was okay to like cars had your relationships and your familial connections and your volume note to Garrison in old friends and colleagues at all if that is okay. Burnt to the ground that it doesn’t actually matter I took to stick around that that and I can’t believe you this is just a process like a moment to moment. This is hard to do the Okemos but I decided to be okay with it cuz I like the sound of that word okayness like okay I want to see I don’t want this palatable how to build in my life just want to go to handle something because well it’s not great but thanks for that you know that okayness and dust you choose to be so all this shit this happened man I can admit that I know that some of it looks real wild and it looks one way and it could be another we live in a reality where we look at the freaking news in the United States obviously something is wrong in society is this also confused and 504 West so you know what I got it I got to stay right there you you have just stumbled upon a masterful mine hack and I am seeing from the outside Dimension as you’re saying but basically what you just described is that we live and we live in this world where the ships hitting the fan and there’s a lack of people feeling a sense of okay now and I really feel like we need to become more comfortable with with all week and we need to deal with our shit so we can feel the Okemos if you catch my drift I catch your drift Iko something’s been plaguing me on the inside because through the process I got it I want to admit it putting you and everyone in that everyone if you are not including everyone that’s a funny thing you know why cuz I respect the heck out of you and I’ve been like it’s been such a long exhausting journey of knowing you that for me is included me being embarrassed and people mixed with you who I just noticed this man was like surviving so much better than me and I keep coming this beautiful human being that I only dreamed like 3 years ago or whatever we got to reconnecting and I am pathetic and somehow believe I have you feel like we’re on the same level of me I mean I have nothing but but like respect for you by Prince you’ve accomplished so much and you’ve accomplished things that I am still still dreaming about accomplishing so it’s it’s a mutual you know Mutual sensitive of respect and admiration man it’s always so it’s the way it should be mad it’s like to skateboard is trying to learn learn new tricks together you know thank you man and thank you and the reason why I came I was about to say what I’m about to say this because the process of the journey this is bent for me is not just included me it’s included lots of other people sung by choice and then probably just a son who just ended up in the crossfire of my life because of other reasons that they may may may not have been aware of or been aware of their participation and and and it’s not okay to not swear on the show oh my God they say it’s because because I hurt all the time give a presentation on anyways and so that’s kind of what kind of what works for me man and his wife said that like cuz I look up to you as somebody who has just like refining for himself and it’s showing the whole world like this is what it looks like to be in a process of yourself and be better with better and better and better I was like my God I could never be anywhere near the degree of what are some sleep when you go through the process of becoming you when you’re like burns down and you don’t know what to do in the fall Society is his his his either confused with you you’re a huge mistake the doctor that’s a Schism you just get into situations that could be desperate and you might not know that you’re desperately might not know you getting into you might not know it’s going to happen next cuz how could you and then you get into this situation where you get into things with people with money and then Todd relationship stuff cuz I was like a weird dude already have to learn how to be like in today and all this crazy shit that I don’t know about your kid and like you’re always conduct yourself in the way that you wish and I wish you felt embarrassed that like this like how did you get here like one of these crazy stories amazing stories that I want to share with you a few but it wouldn’t be fair to me to the universe who knows me and watches this happen at the end of my reality who was the recipient or have experienced just knowing somebody in whatever way when they go into the burning down with your going through the process of Awakening that’s an ugly and painful and frankly does a lot of people who got caught up in that and I would every day with the with trying to like become more pure knowing how screwed up things worth time and knowing that your casualties to getting to a better place and that’s just a preface if you will to talk and but all the good cuz frankly like recently somebody had posted something online in response to something I’d written and they said they dude guy Craig I was like yeah really you ask cuz this wasn’t for me I’m in the process of doing fasting from social media and the more I take a step back from it the less I want to return back into that that mine state and f deleted some accounts I’ve just taken some apps off my phone Note sometimes I bring them back or not but I know a lot of the frenzy that you would get sucked into with trolling and drama online at school it’s Way Beyond normal human capacity to have any level of that kind of interaction and so I think everybody got everybody’s got taken for a ride and I think there’s only a few people who who. So I just burnt out but but really Purge that that toxic soup of emotions that comes from being in that frenzy and actually has the wherewithal to create distance so I’m wondering I mean you wrote the book on on peer supported mental health and now it seems like you’re going to have to write a book all about how to either navigate or avoid or moderate social media right wow the funny thing is that a you’re right about the social-media thing dude I want to write letters I think I love the fact that we can communicate and all this shit then it is just destructive Beyond any any you or you do understand cuz we’re taking the brakes and destructive Beyond any capacity that I have to use to find a better word with my. If I may say so Larry man like I totally feel that makes think about it it’s not constructive most the time when you’re not dealing with people who have skin in the game to a point where they feel like they’re they have to be accountable to not overdo insults and overdue criticisms it’s like if you were a tribe living together and you knew everybody everybody knew each other since birth and everybody was mutually interdependent for survival then you would have restraint when it comes to the extent of abuse that you would tolerate that you were perpetuate but when you’re totally disconnected then you have no skin in the game for survival with you with a group of people it is literally the most unconstructive way to process emotions information actual important social issues and Community issues that come up so please man yeah go out let’s just open that can of worms and laments profusely about that I think people need to get some that shaking out of that Paradigm will be well I think it’s constructive thing to do with all this beat it because there’s so many to choose from in my in my soda. I was thinking about that you asked me to write a book about social media like crazy out-of-control the truth is always some truth behind what’s going on that’s funny or not funny or not is that this really happens I like a guy ask you know if I hear you perfect out of control destructive I wish you could see right now and if you like like lights flashing I’m actually having my hands in the air like I am the king of the awful idle control crazy person public meltdown we shouldn’t be who I am today if I celebrate that ships the best baby should be a book or went to learn how to not do what I did cuz maybe my way is not the right way for everyone but the reality also is the Crux of all that is that the freaking internet and that social media chaos that I was unprepared for is it crazy person adult trying to find his way that was destructive they probably not just for me probably thousands of people or more out there who taught Derek distances that collapsed because they didn’t know how to manage cuz how could you learn if you didn’t know how yeah that is so Insidious it just creeps up and with so many things now I mean that it’s it’s cliche to talk about how the dystopian sci-fi of the 1980s which was what really Prime me for being prepared to deal with this time and being a warrior in this time and it digital Warrior and I still despite that training of of being skeptical of corporate fascist media Empires and what not I I live drink of plenty of their Kool-Aid and now I’m really thinking about how much I’ve leaked about my interests my desires that people who have wanted to be involved with romantically and the processes of all that stuff is basically being molested by those social media Giants and and I’m glad that I did not take it to the extreme to let people do which is actually like a lot of negativity and a lot of drama and a lot of accusations and yeah I feel like there’s a state of grace that is refusing to to participate in that in that should have been punk rock an Arco pump DIY 101 I mean we were always rebelling against the mainstream and back then it was the mainstream media and it was the one directional media of of the power elite news organizations and there was ziens and I like the way that social networks online could be decentralised but there was it there was actually an addict his backbone to that where it was people who were peer-to-peer building forums and building networks in chat rooms that were they weren’t being puppeteered by these these forces that are really there to serve the state ultimately to Amy so ever you want to talk about just let us bring this back to it to who we really are a man as like as anarcho-punks who were trained to think critically about technology and about corporate Fascism and the mainstream and then watching and watching ourselves get sucked into it watching other people get seduced and sucked into it and like how do we resist how do we repeal and fucking in Break Free then yeah yeah I respect you all Whenever there were born okay and basically what this comes down to is the difference between a fanzine and a Zine so we grew up grew up in this like reality where your existence fish eat that text that need within your soul and your spirit your heart to have an understanding to connect with the world in a way that brought you the feeling of like you belong that you were part of something that mattered that was what we call fancy right if you want to like try to give a little bit of a I don’t have described it with the word is a metaphor I don’t know when there’s also looks like her internet and then I just went over that and then it’s not meant to or with your is a 2018 something like that it is the difference cuz in the context of social media excetera that. That’s a defined difference between when you are living in an era an era where you haven’t desperation that is coming from this blooming devastating oppression that I have a sense about cuz we know as opposed to living in an era in a society where you yourself are being basically programs and I’m not trying to talk about some sort of like cuz we don’t we can’t see it happening is happening in Plainview people to be trained to be a certain way so that’s why you were programmed to almost beat our own enemy and what we were going up with back in the day and I’m just going to help my do by David Guetta in the late 1980s I’m not going to beat around the bush here about that it was different we tried to communicate and understand and learn and educate and Shear in very different ways that did teach us a way to be in the world that I’m certain you will agree allowed us now we have success as I’d like free people quote the same doing and be because we’ve learned in in times in through methods that were popular then and almost unheard-of now up the punx to that brother yeah man it’s funny cuz this whole thing about fake news it’s like back in my day was all fake news what he’s talking about like you wouldn’t trust any new source anyway and there it is just as weird commingling now everybody being sucked into the Demi celebrity trip to of of the the platforms that make you yawn I’m I’m kind of in recovery from from drinking the Kool-Aid to man sex you want to keep up with it that we were ejected all that and anyway I don’t want to get hung up on that on that topic but I know that a lot of the suffering that you have disclosed to me privately comes from just being Dogpile on the internet you know yeah it’s because I started get rid of all those people where they got rid of me or with mutual or it wasn’t but either way it happens does it is disconnected people don’t make you feel good and just I just it’s Ash and it that have to happen if I feel personal about anything I ever did cuz I did was like face reality here but not always been an easy field person and that I had to use I have to push people away because of my own craziness and Highway but nonetheless coming to bite my tongue well yeah sounds like you have a healthy sense of taking responsibility for things as one thing I love talking about is if there’s no there’s no bifurcation really in your personality you know you are who you are and you don’t the candy coat that very often sounds like for people to get in love it or leave it for one moment I want to make a statement here at that you’ll agree it’s okay I’m completely I’m completely nuts and I’m definitely if you can put this in quotes but I mean I propose cuz it’s I think it’s a great courses true and in quotes right here I’m good crazy I think for the first time in my life like yeah so what I know this is a bit crazy like I can look so what about yesterday right now and tomorrow and the next day I could just make more good crazy happen I’m so sick and tired of that crazy and I could learn to hold burning down of everything so I could get rid of that bad crazy what do I do whatever I have to do including and a much to the weather for next to the disdain for the right word but it’s good enough I come from it with truth which makes it pretty hard core but also I’m doing it because I don’t want to have it be an issue anymore so that’s craziness go out of control on the internet and then have a V8 if you will occur Abernethy Bridge with some that is very necessary if you need to heal then so be it but I’m also purifying so deep deep traumatic abuse that I experienced and if I’m not going to have a really group of participants or people in my life is one of his old stuff it’s still going to come out and I sure as heck ain’t going to end my life because our or go crazy in a way that’s going to get me locked up in a bad way Lawrence OB I’m going to put my shit out there I’m going to speak the truth and I’m going to let let that be how people figure out what’s up what’s not what matters and what doesn’t button in no way shape or form do I do any of this because I want to it’s because healing comes from getting out of your system to things that aren’t making you feel toxic and that can include interpersonal stuff you can food a thousand different things and I and not going to be silent if being sounds will keep me sick so speaking truth whether its preferred welcomed or not it is actually putting an end to the hurt and that that does also result in and include who serving of ties with many sometimes it’s unfortunately intentional but who matters here for me more than me just like anyone anyone else is the matter for them most at first you need to matter to themselves first and then most importantly so that’s life and I’d rather just choose the most Ford and let the let the heck’s come because the more I get hit the more I’m sure I’ll Never Smile act like its neck and that right there I believe that everyone else had the world to learn how to do and it’s Graham said out of would never put this on lips Alston and Lasting here sorry I go on and on I’m not sorry actually grateful for that time the more people learn the Dakin’s like punched and kicked their way out of the traps that they feel themselves and that doesn’t mean that’s because if it’s a whole process of getting yourself to where you need to be I want everyone to know that everyone can do that it’s going to suck but if I can do this in a Hertz at continuing low I mean living evidence that you can continue to land on your feet than everyone else can too and I don’t care for what I have to say you can do to go live your life and do the best you can be in frankly that’s what I’m doing so fuck off but still please do your thing so you can have everything that I’m going to yeah that was a time and experience as each day goes forward to live in that happiness cuz I want it and you can have the same thing so like fuck I’ll see you later come on back whatever but piece that sounds good man well I know some people who were listening to same I feel kind of lost on what what it is what kind of dancing around here if you don’t know how I know you know you can obviously be as candid or as reserved as you’d like but I feel like it is I would say correct me if I’m wrong but in a broad sense you you stood up to seven justices in the world and that kind of cause the shitstorm of not okayness that week but you prevailed your okayness prevailed over there not okay Miss in the midst of a shitstorm online and not just on its just oh my God can you break that down for us to whatever extent you know isn’t they’re breaching confidentiality or probably not actually not in jeopardy. The funny thing check it out how about I have the moment there who doesn’t you think you have to do when you produce this thing later that they released you have to just two levels and now you know you might take a note oh my God yeah man and just try to keep it brief cuz I can’t be a maniac about this I got to try to come best light for my good for yours in the whole world that you’re you’re Mania Mania Maniac don’t know what was basically I got freaking screwed for doing my job and it’s okay I went to work I was working as a mental health worker I loved what I did and he might stem from the first report back to the Survivor background I was trained and frankly Grant I’m glad it all happened because I couldn’t I don’t have a day job working someplace and having a bad Vibe by the rules of the system which ultimately dictate working in another house feel like I was I was working at this mental health place that was running all about people live experience week we’re all certified peer specialist I love what I did and was your place different part of the state but I buy a new company little did I know that the guy I was working with what’s the sticker McDonald’s scary misogynist I wasn’t familiar with like that degree of creepiest and I was also supposed to be professional and I was getting paid and I had to work another place you working at the mental health worker you have to adhere to certain rules and guidelines of course cuz if you don’t I’ll call Nicole borders new teachers Nursery School teachers in a kindergarten doctors excetera East you have you aware of abuse of a person or in your care if you will or but you have suspicions of it which is also legitimate your required by law in laws law whatever you can take it or leave it what lies you believe in cuz look in the United States right now it’s crazy how ever this is something that we all hold true when you working in the in the human services are helping professions that said it was my requirements that I had no choice to make a report because there was a situation that just frankly was as it turned out was bad this is not an acceptable thing for some people that I expose this in a series of extremely disgusting things occurred and I ended up looking like the bad guy and they really made this The Narrative we will and papers well and ultimately they found out that the report I made was true they found out to the guy that I’ve reported was documented by independent clinicians Adams facility that didn’t work for a company contract in this pretty I’m kind of providers giving groups support groups and then they knew because my report was the same as theirs and they never put it to the facility that my report was already known so they knew they had a guy in there who was behaving a predatory waste for months for two months then he got caught again but but other people who documented the sexualised behaviour and once they had found out that my report was true of any of the guy who is the supervisor my supervisor without telling anybody. Even the assistant director of the HR Director secretly after I didn’t report and it put it back into the same place where I’ve reported what he was doing then he got caught again twice too much later I feel like I’m describing once they had knowledge that I was telling the truth well that wasn’t acceptable and that was the end was me as I knew it was the end of my career as I knew it it was the end of everything I knew and this is during the same time. That after 28 years of my life being intentionally harmed by psychiatric medication for the purpose of keeping me quite I was able to get off of all this I cash medications in fact with the insistence of a team that’s more than one psychiatrist insisting that it was a medication making me sick and they need to take all the diagnosis on my file and the whole nine yards man 20 years of my life on a bunch of bulshit give him his pills and you need sick many everyone throughout my life experience 28 years I mean tonight to you need when I met you in person at all the crazy thing happened at that show moving forward but this is all under the clown under the fog of psychiatric pills that were given to me to shut me out to keep me quiet about Happy with a child adapt a bunch of psychiatrist now when that time. Ike 2008 1314 look at my medical documents and look at me and look at the book I can read and look at how everything does not make sense and say you don’t have these conditions that you’ve been medicated for all your life that it was known you for 28 years as a person drugged you need to go out these pills cuz they are making you sick you’ll never have a chance to have a better life to continue to take the pill this is being sent to me of yet by psychiatrist is it we’re changing what your diagnosis on your medical record you do not have these conditions and I went and I saw my primary care physician in the file and right there just as they said debunks debunk ebox trauma course the charm is there cuz well that’s what happens if you 20 years to be confused this thing with the job is happening at the same time. That I’m getting off these pills and I’ve gone to heels with vinegar text mountain people that my community are angry at me also just left me for side of my job and then I go to Europe for the first time the person I was traveling with to give a presentation a t a take a conference I first time ever going to Europe dream come true after that conference I went into a sauna and Upsala I managed to me within 10 minutes my body had had basically detox rapidly and from it within the fat cells in my body after 20 years of taking psychiatric medication like tearing off the doctors help I did Poison myself in Riga Latvia and I was never the same since I started to slur my words and I was fried more more crazy stuff happen ultimately with all resulted from this is that I lost my home in January 2018 that’s my cat January 2018 I already lost most of my friends call these people thought I was crazy I got into Financial stuff also get social things like most my friendships are getting more and more the tax I lost a bunch of my personal stuff and most people like it truly care about and I still do you know what a live with no real idea what I’m going to do to try to listen to travel the world and find a way to create a new life find a way to connect with other people to find a way to Love by the way to connect by the way I create a new business and Nueva to survive using the foci are offered in different languages and also the English language like you crying and Kosovo you know it Poland and and giving presentations are in and talk circles in in in in you name it healing from trauma healing from abuse how to survive being possible he has been crazy sometimes I misunderstood all the time trying to learn how to be because I never learned as a child I never had a coming-of-age I was drugged for 14 on to all the cells have the same time I totally feel comfortable in my own country I don’t think I can work this is presents about me just like it’s like psychosis around me that like this guy why was he sick while he was mentally sick of these other word but in fact maybe I was drugged how can you explain to somebody week like that wasn’t you it wasn’t me but it looks like you sounds like you I can’t quite I said the pills pills were what were making me so fucked up or how am I supposed to know the difference your right respect all I can do is say you’re right you experience that crazy shit with me and that was real few doesn’t matter if it wasn’t me it was because of I was poisoned for my own good of course that’s what happened so I can only say goodbye and I can’t change that to this is the reality the past four years is always have these things happening in the world disconnected from people from people that have no more going to call ain’t going to call anybody you know is going to pick up that’s how do you find whis when you don’t feel comfortable in your own land cuz you your language is English it’s a dominant language in the world and and you’re a guy easy to just try to reconnect after all these years of chaos you supposed to be a certain weight verifications of you you can escape to past so what are you do what did I do what the heck out of there as I said travel the world very difficult very painful very lonely very hard very beautiful and in that 15 months how do they communicate with people with languages that we do not share what do you do how do you find your weight you can’t just go crazy like I did in a couple years was the way somewhere West getting killed in the airport in Paris I lost my shit you can’t do that you have to learn how to connect on a spiritual level that you can’t communicate people will know your energy just like a cat or a dog you can’t let them experience you went away that you’re going to be repelled by how you learn how to do that how do you learn that’s what you learned and that’s what the story that’s what the backstory is the backstory is a story it’s like five or six what’s it like in your own way with wreck somebody happening at the same time and just by the grace of whatever it is you believe I resulted it was Ulta didn’t me finally getting to the point of saying screw it almost going to go live why can Liz get a Visa they did and take a little money had and get a a place that was furnished and so I did and how I live in a community and I need some friends and that’s the story that’s that’s what you’re asking me it’s like a 15 minute monologue but that’s what the story is it should make enough sense of all this meat is missing tons of pieces that music house ugliness lost torture resulted and be speaking about all we have prior to keep me answering the question if it was up to them that being a store that I can talk about with a smile and with some sort of like humor because I know what resulted in like where I’m at now thank you so what is the advice you have for people who are whistleblowing in organizations where it sounds like sounds like you were is a recipe for disaster in that because anyone could say that your credibility under those circumstances everybody in a situation is the pot calling the kettle black and in a sense so for people who are direct me totally just a source of your strength to overcome oh my God it was it wrecked me I can’t believe them alive direct me so much that I’m laughing about it because it’s like well at the very least it’s always warm here like every piece of shit wasn’t nice to me back in Massachusetts I guess what in the winter you going to pay for that heat and for those of you out there who struggle so I don’t have to deal with that anymore thank you thank you I could have stand I’m coming around to this myself which is that I feel like there is there was a time where I felt like I had to go out there and I had to add jatate and and have a high risk tolerance and a high risk appetite for being involved in the potential for liability of the potential for things sort of backfiring it in in in in doing my work and now I feel like I survived some pretty epic chapters of risk and now I’m finding myself more risk-averse and less risk tolerant and wanting and actually being able to say no but I’d rather not put myself at risk by not that I’m totally disengaging from everything but I will say that that the the duty that I felt I had to be out there in the mix of a lot of chaos I don’t feel that that I feel like I I slay that Dragon I slay those demons and and I can live with myself comfortably not feeling like a coward and not feeling like I was avoiding those those efforts and I wondering if you feel now and it is something that make people can resonate with that they can learn powers that you know you don’t have to fight every battle you can choose your battles as long as you fight some battles and even if you don’t win you survive but you know you did what was right you don’t have to keep doing that forever and you can get yourself the fuck out and go and retire from The Madness of fighting a lot of struggles where it’s a losing battle sometimes and you can just enjoy the face so you know live to fight another day you know you know they say Don’t run you can run away and live to fight another day or you could stay in a place that you’re not going to get out of one piece nnn regret it so I don’t know just want to say that I congratulate you for for doing the right thing and then getting a fuck out of there before you did actually get completely destroyed you know yet well you know what me and your trusty Craig motherfuking Lewis you know that’s what happens when your trusty Craig fucking crazy person Louis I just don’t need that to be sampled probably just got myself some was going to have fun with me with that but that’s okay it doesn’t have a certain that what was the question Bedford just let me be me to take two more of a general commentary and sense of wanting to see the bigger picture which is that sometimes I guess I was seeing if I feel the same way about the politics of insurrectionary Street protests and you put yourself out there and you put yourself in a meat grinder lot of people do and they end up in really serious trouble that they didn’t bargain for that it’s not really sustainable certain forms of resistance are not really sustainable there’s new waves of of people who are going to come up into that but you have to know when to win to what’s the country song what’s the country song when you know how to hold them oh my God yeah it is you don’t talk about anything yeah yeah quit while you’re ahead and I was going to quit while I was ahead I should have just never done shit about the so I made a decision take out the stand on my two feet and stand up when I knew was true and for what I knew was the correct thing to do and to what someone ever did for me when I was 15 years old and then that horrible facility being feminized and section leak destroyed and and and humiliated and have a whole life taken when I was 15 in those two so they locked me up in just got too many times I had no way weather right I didn’t even know if I believe in the Universal God whatever they want to call it if I want to call it whenever I look to you for my my my my my my peace I didn’t know dude in 2015 that’s what I was doing that was a sending that to a better place cuz of what all I was experienced by me throughout my life but there was no way there was no way any any shape or form that I was going to permit and using my legally-protected role as a mandated reporter there was no way I was going to permit what I was witnessing happening in front of me to people who were the victim of assault and simple ways I was when I was a kid and when I was a kid I asked for help and no one helped me I would love to rot and take it there was no way and 2015 that I was going to break from my responsibilities and I just didn’t legal responsibility responsibility responsibility but the opportunity to make sure using my power that I had been given by becoming certified to work in the role of I had been working in there was no way I was going to go to deviate from that there was no way I was going helping that individual with a moment of peace when I was not afforded the very same thing that I deserve as much as everyone who’s ever been a situation like that woman was deserved and I stood in my two feet and I would do the same thing right now again because it was the right thing to do and I will always go to look myself in the mirror and a camera and whatever I never that was right now looking forward to move on and it doesn’t matter that like I got crushed in the process and it come on how many people are going to listen to this I thought his back but I want to hear about like awesome stuff like so what like what kind of fool of myself are so funny and it’s true what kind of fool thinks it’s a good idea business right now you all know them for one important reason it is important as a valid and it’s to be honored and respected but it does not mean you should do business-to-business okay and you don’t do people like yourself what’s a crazy people that word with deep affection Love because as professionally as I previously identified I want to be good crazy so maybe good crazy so that’s where I go to stay However maybe not everyone’s good crazy maybe I’ve not always been good crazy not truth what a terrible idea to work intimately with people cool ultimately it’s true cuz he went to humans ultimately it will save their own skin for doing the right thing because not everybody is not their fault it’s the reality is reality. Everybody grows up with like a street addict or knowing how it is to be closer to the bottom and I fortunately or unfortunately I am how you stated feeling perceive things many of the people that must have people that I was involved with what are of a higher class if you will or better way of living or a different kind of environment that allow after Sosa to delete it I never had it so I don’t blame them for Being Human but certainly did lack of understanding of what it meant to do what was right was more within me as a person who was straight talk and someone who grew up in just I guess nicer and perhaps more supportive of surroundings which I did not Amen brother that’s the truth right on that what I think yeah we should I think we should call it a show at I was at Adventure I was expected nothing less than and definitely you delivered on bringing bringing the the the healthy crazy that healthy and powered acknowledgement of what it takes in like hey was the word of of CO2 I remember that song Still if we’re never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy right so I believe that I believe it I feel it I’m the same way I’m definitely letting go on some innovations that have helped me back and I’m feeling more free and more wild and less less compromising to people who may not agree or understand what I’m trying to do and there’s a way to there’s a I think there’s a way you’re proving it and I’m I’m catching up to you honestly about getting to a point where you just you give no fuks about being a walk in your truth in speaking your mind and people don’t like it they can they can shove it up their okayness yeah and I’m okay with that closing statement a lubricated sex toy and gently massage it as they relax the sphincter into their anus until they filled okay no I don’t want to use shoving it up your ass says this is your word is because on the township on podcast we are all about putting the anus back into Okemos and putting the penis back into happiness all right have you seen the movie the interview Seth Rogen when they go to North Korea and they interview the North Korean dictator they say that they hate us cuz they ain’t us all the ants talk is that this is going to be listened to and I can ask around closing statement obviously my lots of curious people about Craig Lewis and better days and all this crazy nonsense stop podcasting a plus with all the craziness it’s hard to get work when you’re up when you’re allowed muffins supposed love for myself it’s awesome but all the people are the characters in the world I want to see I love you and I’m grateful for every person who has ever existed in my life including every person who has not been nice to me with every person who is abused me iPhone I am quitting the worst ones and I don’t want you all my life but I do forgive you because that’s the best for my. You’re my love for myself and also I just also think it’s very relevant necessary because I know this would be listen to cuz people whose voice and I’m staying right now will you love me or hate me or whatever it is it’s okay it’s okay because things have been crazy and I wouldn’t want to have to hang out with me sometimes the way things were but I can’t imagine being someone else it was horrible I was going through a living you know what I don’t want to say that word because I choose to like try to be better doesn’t mean that always succeed as you all know that you can I I’m grateful to be here today laughing about it crazy just going on I think some things that come out of my mouth that bow that’s pretty intense stuff sometimes I like using my brain is sometimes you say things that are little bit much so what I’m grateful to be here now I’m grateful to everyone if I’ve hurt your feelings or offended somebody will the problem with a reason but I also feel like that’s not okay so I do apologize for being hurtful because when you’re fighting a battle and you feel like you’re you’re experiencing or you’re proceeding being under some sort of Oppression you do things are sometimes don’t always make sense and you fight me ways that not everyone’s going through Fluevog so I will recognize this truth that goes for everybody including how I’ve communicated with you in the past and I have not been easy so this trip this accountability this acceptance of yes it’s not been pretty getting to this place and I am I in a gray spot now I’m working on it and it’s because I chose to be what I wanted to be and I tried to walk my talk and my Straight Talk sucks sucks sucks so I’ll leave you with this liked my dear friend and be host to talk about just suggested you can just get that lubrication and like jet me like take care of with best the love that you deserve because you deserve to feel good inside and however you find a way to feel good inside I know the tundra parked behind and I think it’s fair to say that I’m behind that to oh my God that sounds crazy that wasn’t even planned that I’m sorry but yeah oh my God I think it’s happened in my brain and that was thank you Universe this is crazy I don’t know what to say if it doesn’t get any simpler than put the anus in Okemos and put the penis and happiness and we will all be living in it beer peace more peaceful or more fulfilling more abundant world man so I think that’s that’s that’s what I asked what it comes down to and and I store is the next time I bought the world travels but that’s what I thought that’s what the best and I want a wonderful rest of your evening and we’ll be in touch again soon I love you so much and I love you so much for listening to the touch of Time Podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition assassini and improving the podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple after bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email said I turned your punk. Com Thomas gay

The Revolt of the Cum Slaves with Bitch Goddess Grace Diaz TPP209

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Grace Diaz Pic

In this episode I’m joined by Grace Diaz who is standing strong in her Bitch Goddess power to tell a story of rebellion against the forces of patriarchal narcissism, manipulation, intimidation, and abuse. In this scandalous sexpose, she takes a constructive, conscious,  proactive approach to raising awareness about the larger cultural issues. Her demands for justice transcend her own personal gain, and she’s working to support and liberate all women.

The issues that are brought up are raw and extreme, but the sad truths must be brought to the light. I bow down to her courage to speak out, and it’s an honor to hold space on the podcast for her to share her story. We’ve been through a lot of powerful material together on the podcast and our sense of solidarity increases every time.

About Grace:

My passion of healing began at the age of ten, when my father, a Reiki Master of 20 years initiated me as a Reiki Master in Medellin, Colombia. For years after arriving back to the United States, I began teaching Usui Reiki all over the east coast.

Reiki lead me to Tantra. I was introduced to Shakti-Pakti-Tantric-Yoga by my Guru Tafari Sudra, in 2011, and it allowed me to heal my 10-year eating disorder. Our organization, YONI GRACE, LLC was birthed in 2012 when I felt the burning need to share the wisdom I was experiencing through Yoni Breathing.

In 2012 Grace began distributing Yoni Eggs wholesale worldwide and teaching thousands of women how to run a Yoni Egg business from home!

Grace hosts Yoni events in the Las Vegas area and internationally. In 2016, she was privileged to be hosted in Istanbul, Turkey. There, Grace and 35 Muslim women participated in a weekend workshop of the Yoni Egg practice with Yoni Yoga. Her classes are one of a kind and focus on helping women embrace their innate sensual wisdom for spiritual and physical wellness.

Please visit her website at:
https://yonigrace.com/  

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear beloved’s welcome to Tantra Punk podcast episode number 2 0 9 this is a very interesting show again with Grace Diaz who is going to tell all in a sort of very a very scandalous sort of sex pose a talking about issues that she has been confronting that or you could say or within and Beyond the me-too movement and different experiences and insights having overcome some pretty heinous treachery on the part of an individual who will remain unnamed but who she is in a sort of psychic battle with for the soul retrieval shamanic healing work needs to happen for her to restore her her true dignity and her her highest glory and grace as independent Sovereign woman in charge of your own destiny and I’m very proud to be instrumental however I can to support that process for all women and certainly I am a a defender of the only Temple because I myself have been a Survivor and in ways have been violated and abused in and taking advantage of often or in many ways that women who have been victimized and who are survivors have so I have that compassion I have that ability to commiserate and I also am on a path of personal healing and transformation that would continue to inform me about the importance of composting the patriarchy starting with myself and really figuring out ways that I can always be getting stronger hopefully always be getting wiser but also be giving back and also be helping in any way I can and just hoping for the best sort of case studies and caseloads to be applying myself too and I think that Grace’s is absolutely outstanding as one of the women who I dearly respect and honor and believe in the work she’s doing is so important to where she’s doing and I feel like when you tell we need to give prayers and help part the seas to make this path of empowerment and Liberation continue smoothly and for all of the all of the forces that are working against this movement of Liberation for them to be on all the forces seen and unseen for them to be really bound and and kept really in a place of safe distance for their own healing and transformation in processing so that there’s not a constant depletion of energy having to fight all these uphill battles with the Patriarchs who have so much the the the game board skewed and their favorites like such a rigged game in this casino of patriarchy and the more you peel back the onion just the more Sinister it gets so this episode gets into some pretty raw territory and I hope you can bear with it and understand that this is serious business in you know you start taking on these Empires and you got to watch your back so send his prayers with do this together like do you like the revolts of the dancers at the Jabba the Hutt bar and be like Princess Leia and use that chain let’s use those change to choke out our oppressors and give free all right with that said thank you very much enjoy the show Namaste good morning I’m glad I am live on my YouTube I made it my dogs don’t bark in the background how are you been I’m doing very well yes so that’s exciting new developments going on and just thrilled to be alive and just thrilled to hear about this expose that she have planned and I’m trying to think about what to call it it’s as trying to think of something like mess with a bitch goddess and you get the… I can say this now because I didn’t have I don’t have this password anywhere but literally one of my password was I’m a bitch goddess yeah make it make your passwords or a long complex daily affirmation that only you understand that’s a good one Beauty forced to give the positive reinforcement I like it okay so let’s talk about it so I got my letter in the mail so I’m going to fill in everybody who doesn’t know what’s going on when I’m talkin about I know you know the details so I’m going to just cover in a really you know like just just so everybody knows what’s going on so I was in a relationship for 6 years I was pretty much unaware that the disproportionate power dynamics were a problem I at the time when I was in relationship to this person who you know like the whole thing with the with a female movement and and fighting against like a charcoal abusive power like I was cool with they’re being disproportionate power dynamics because I thought that I joined that power source and it was going to be and it was like my power to you know what I mean like I didn’t know that that power is going to be used against me and so a lot of people say and I’m talking about an older gentleman that you know a prominent attorney in in Maryland former judge and I was in relationship to him for 6 years very beautiful relationship until I really started discovering the like I was I was basic basically a narcissistic supply for him and I didn’t know that I was a narcissistic supply for him until I stopped supplying him because I started growing beyond my young twenty-two-year-old naive self at the time he was like in his late sixties and so I was with him because I thought that he could help me because he was helping me and he was so adamant about supporting me and helping me go through school and helping me you know start my business and everything like that and so I thought that I was joining the disproportionate power source and I want to make that really clear because there are a lot of women these days that join it’s it’s like it’s like you joining an institution it’s like you you think that the institutions going to be on your side you know if you’re not here if you think you are you know what I mean and so that’s where I was coming from I was coming from you know like everything’s honest and transparent everything’s authentic everything is being spoken aloud between me and my partner and so I am just like many girls I believe you know who put themselves in these situations and everyone’s like no don’t do it like you so much older than you more money than you he has so much more legal power than you don’t do it don’t do it and I’m like why would I not do that like she can she can really help me and he does really love me so you know… You’re the antagonist to telling me not to do it you know what I mean when really what a lot of these people are trying to do is really help you and nnn because this unfortunately did SKU against my favor and I am you know if you didn’t see my other coming out video I talked about a gag order that I received once me and him broke up and I unfortunately signed it under duress I was very I don’t want to go over too many of the details but pretty much that’s like the backstory and so anyway so I opened an investigation with this against the person because a lot of the behavior that they wanted me to hush about a lot of illegal activity and he was he’s just afraid that I’m going to speak out and so here I am speaking out because he put me in a position where you wanted to silence me two years ago by me being depressed about what to do about this having no legal aid or support at all and so I decided to open an investigation and put the power in my hands and really take care of this motherfucker so that’s the backstory well congratulations for stepping out in and breaking the silence and I know that all is divine blessings will be coming your way to help with all that’s needed and this is just the tip of the iceberg and it’s the entire imagix think of a Jabba the Hutt and I just think they were all in this Cult of Jabba the Hutt because this Dynamic with young women and club culture and I know it’s all throughout Vegas and you just see I’m in Vegas is sort of the the Dream the ultimate Global masculine dream of being able to be a guy who is successful in business or what whatever and then basically is able to have this pseudo Harem of of skimpy skimpy dressed model-esque women who were pretty much just either totally vacant mentally or they or even if they’re not that kind of have to fake it and play like that because who would actually be entertained by people in that this guy sounds like an actual like he has redeeming qualities and then he’s not the the the the lowest slug sloth of a of a male that’s ever lived which makes it more painful I’m sure because then there is some attention City to it and even more heartbreaking because if he was at if he was just a bastard through and through then it wouldn’t be it will be probably less painful to go through but this is what I’ve learned with my research with dealing with narcissists there’s three different kinds of narcissists there’s the ones that like Donald Trump it’s like out your face and everyone knows it and then there’s the covert narcissists like The Bill Cosby they talk about you know like morality that talk about empowerment empowering the community and then they’re actually like raping women behind the scenes you know and so that’s the category in which I would put this fellow into and he is a covert narcissist and even though he on the service doesn’t look like the lowest scum in my opinion I really believe that specifically these types of covert narcissist build their whole lives assembling a a portrait of how good they are because internally they believe they know actually that they are the lowest scum you know like that’s there at least obviously nope no human is scum like there’s no City like I personally don’t believe that any human being even though you may have done some of the worst things ever like on a soul level on a on a on a truce like the ultimate truth level every person has a spirit and soul and we’re here basically trying to demonstrate her lessons were here to try to demonstrate our understanding our our Consciousness pass you know the stream of Consciousness that we’ve been through for so many lifetimes maybe perhaps and I don’t believe that you know any person is is release come we’re just trying to figure things out and so obviously he’s not scum like deep down inside he believes he is like that’s what a covert narcissist really believes on a very unconscious level you know he doesn’t he doesn’t even know that he thinks about himself but that’s why he’s put his whole life and trying to be a legal superhero you know especially till like the black community and everything like that and and look what he was doing behind-the-scenes he would he basically and my my response to this investigation because I do have to submit a response to which is basically just talking about how all of his efforts go into selecting women to be with that are disproportionately less educated than them that are disproportionately significantly younger than than them like I’m 45 years younger than him you know like that’s a lot that’s a lot that’s like Beyond what’s even normal for like large gaps you know disproportionately like even even me being Colombian like like no one in my family knows anything about law here you know what I mean like no one no one in my family knows like the court system necessarily like how to actually like do things you know because we’re not really from here and then and I really do think that that actually is a turn-on for a lot of these you know that getting that narcissistic Supply getting that narcissistic Supply specifically for this person like that was that’s a turn-on to have someone disadvantaged to be with because you don’t pose a threat to them yeah I hear that mean I think it’s the same archetype of the whole mail-order bride thing and you know I watch the documentary all about how in Southeast Asia the new cash crop isn’t race anymore it’s young women and families will basically cultivate their daughters to be sold off either into urban brothels or there’s a s’more sort of what I would call a lighter form of sex trafficking and then documentary they show that end this Village in Thailand every year they have a foreign husband of the Year festival and men compete and they go there they go they’ve basically they bring the wives that they exported these young women they exported them out of their village community as a cash crop export products and then the ones that were the most well-to-do and whatever the most handsome or dashing whatever it is they come back in a group several and they come back with their wives that they took out of the Village Inn compete for a sort of crown and there’s a big party in Festival like a traditional big let you know that kind of Festival event and you see that that I think I watched that guy the interview he was like 3 time winner in a row or something like that and just take this is such gnarly Twisted abuse and you know if anything they should just like take all that power and wealth in literally don’t take the woman out of her family and Village and take his ass over there and have them a Keisha pekid by their Village back from the corrupt government he could actually help people instead he’s just parading around and taking her to Disney World or whatever so and fucked up a thirty-year-old now you know when I was 22 at the time and I was with this individual I basically I didn’t understand I didn’t understand how this could go against me like I didn’t understand the stage that I was playing you know according like Shakespeare and everything like I didn’t understand my stage like I didn’t understand that it was so our groneck then about this whole situation the most ironic thing is that I am a female empowerment like leader so it would get it like how could I not you no speak out break my silence against this mother fucking stupid gag order contract that really attempted to just Sally my work solely my you know my voice and everything and and so anyway and so it was you know I just I just really didn’t understand what I was getting into and now this this man I’m just so grateful that women are really stepping out women are really biting their voice because this is true like there’s so many needs to women and and I I don’t even like labels I don’t even like killing myself necessarily A me too but that’s really the category that I feel most identified with because I feel like this all happened in secret and my only voice is coming out publicly and talkin about it my only voice is to be able to say Hey you know I went through this and I right now I’m trying to fight it by holding this person accountable and what interesting actually about this individual’s response regarding this investigation that’s going on is that he’s really just trying to portray me as being hysterical as me being hysterical that’s really all he has he says that I’m trying to extort him that I’m trying to threatened him and all of that and so honestly you know whenever you whenever the disempowered party uses their power really was interesting about this whole situation now with the me-too movement is that now the power Dynamic is starting to be a little bit more even-keeled and that is so frightening to the other to the abusive party you know what I mean and so I’m just I’m basically just talking about this like even talk about this right now it’s like I’m a little nervous like I’m a little like but even just talking about it like I’m it’s scary you know what I mean and I’ve silenced myself I’ve gone along with the stupid contract for like 2 years and me finally get into this place where I can’t even talk about it even in this vague sense is scary you know and I didn’t do anything wrong I’m not doing anything wrong but I have this fear of speaking out against this gag order contract. I don’t abide by I don’t respect it I don’t believe it I was in such a horrible place and everyone knew it I had no legal support at all and so yeah and so basically you know me talking about this this is very very helpful and I appreciate it band and it’s a little scary but I’m very grateful that you’re letting me you know talk about it with your audience to so my viewers are saying that they’re bored with me talking about this they’re saying they’re bored I’m thrilled because this is this is the kind of fun this is the boldness that is that if it’s take if you worship the fierce goddesses then you will be emboldened and you will stop taking shit and you will let the sword of truth / down the Egos and the demon real estate the demons in and as far as I’m concerned you know this whole concept that you can use the apparatus of the state I mean I’m an anarchist and I believe that human beings are intelligent enough and and sweet-hearted enough to at the right scale of a village basically solve our problems collectively and have consensus in our decision-making did not have the shadow authoritarian violence backed forces of the of the Empire to protect the private property and wealth of elite classes I don’t believe in any of that shit and even if you got it from a doing good things if you’re going to use it to I mean I see this all the time it’s it’s rampant in the activist communities it’s rampant in that the punk rock movement that I’ve been in at everybody has every man every man has got their hands in the cookie jar of minors and also like I can specifically remember times in my life when I had a lot of young women all around me because I’m in a band and you know there’s this weird disproportionate population pyramid in the punk rock scene where it’s like most of the bands are made up of men and that’s likely changing to an didn’t beautiful movements right girl excetra where it where women have formed all girl bands and creative niches within the genre but but that was a backlash to but basically the standard. I’m in that in the music scene the name a punk is it it’s like it isn’t a pretty somewhat balance ratio of young men and young women teenagers who get into the scene when they’re you know when they’re rebelling against their parents and they’re going to high school and they’re sharing mixtapes and things to make it into it but then because of the inherent sexism in the scene it’s really only men who teach each other to play instruments for the most part and and so they dominate the the actual bills on the shows and they dominate just being the musician so what happens is because the guys stay in the bands by the time everyone else grows out of it by the time they get real jobs and have real families like they stop going to shows I stop partying all the time so you’re left with this this population pyramid where it’s like a lot of Aging Men playing their instruments being the rockstars and there’s no women who who follow them up that age curved it’s only man staying in the band so they only have access to all the time women so I’ve been in that reality for decades now and I’ve outgrown those you know that there’s there’s not there’s not a lot of women there are some and believe me I worship them their goddesses they’re bad asses vocalist and guitarist bases drummers you name it but they’re also fighting an uphill battle to not be raped and not being molested and abused and sexually be respected in the scene and I cherish them all and I’ve worked with many of them I play in bands with women and they kick ass and they fucking prick everybody to shame but this the point I’m making is that I’m from another sector this is like you could be the most self-righteous you know conscious political activist whatever and really most guys as far as I’m concerned don’t even know how to not put their hands in the cookie jar because it’s it’s so if that women can be young and seductive and they can be it in blacked out and there’s just like recipes for disaster everywhere it sounds like you had a not as debaucherous of a of a journey is I’ve been apart of what I’ve been a part of a lot of these abuse allegation Community resolution issues where we didn’t use the government or the state or lawyers because we were anarchists and we believe that we saw her Camino problems together as a community and people sometimes got beat down people some cat X got run out of town people sometimes were given opportunities to earn Redemption by doing service work in the community and working and rape crisis centers and actually getting re-educated from the ground up so I’d hope that there would be pressure from a larger community and yes the me-too movement but they scab that image when you saying that you feel you know nervous it’s like I think we’re at a Tipping Point where where the the thousands of little fish make that big one giant fish and together they all and swallow the one bully fish that was bigger than each of them individually right and thank you for saying all of that I am so what’s interesting is that one of the people on here just said so what do you want I think that’s a really good question like I should focus on what what do I want from that situation so what do I want from the situation so I don’t really believe that this covert narcissist ever going to apologize is ever going to recognize how much of a fucking bully he is how much of his patterns you know and in all of that I don’t think he’s ever going to acknowledge that in previously what I wanted was for him to cease this three-year timeline because I’m on the contract he specifically constructed a three-year timeline even after we broke up to have me hanging on a string because he purchased things for me you know I purchase a vehicle we purchase certain things for me that were really his and so he was just giving me money to pay for the things that she got me that I wasn’t ever responsible for paying anyway and so he just kind of was giving me little chunks of it 3 years out and you know I really argued to just have one you know just just close everything out just pay for everything one lump sum he could have done that but you can give it to me you got to just close down his account like the car payment for example just close that and so what he did was he did the 3-year timeline to keep me hanging so originally what I wanted was just get rid of that that 3 year timeline because it was suffocating me I couldn’t I couldn’t I just felt like I was under his under under his word like under his Timeline under his contract under his thing you know and I didn’t like that so what I want now now that this three-year timeline is pretty much over why I feel more comfortable talking about it is I just really want to share this message with women I really I really want to be comfortable sharing my story which I’m not still which is why it’s so vague and everything I want to be really comfortable sharing my story I want to relate to women that it’s okay to fight against the grain I want to call wish my book How The vaginal voice reclaim your story which is basically the story in more detail and lessons and and and breathing and had a really transmute at all that’s really what I want I really want at least use the lesson that I have all the pain that I have felt I want to use it in some way to translate it so that other women can kind of take my Consciousness and apply it to the bullshit they may be going through with other narcissistic you know Outlets other narcissistic men and women even so that is a very weird too cuz I think a lot of survivors of all kinds of abuse in trauma find that purpose and it’s the only way really to transcend whatever degrees of self-doubt or shame you know to it it’s take it takes a lot of boldness to overcome that shame for sure by speaking out about it but I keeping it inside and letting it Eat You Alive and you know I don’t I don’t talk about it publicly but I need to get comfortable doing that you know and I’m so anyway so I just want to say this to all the men that are following me cuz I have a lot of you know if you want to lift a woman up you will reap so much positive Karma I mean you will reap so much positive even another man children if you lift them up but if you if you intentionally strategize a way to suppress and oppress someone that is so going to come back to you like so much harder I mean this the person that I’m talking about May potentially not be able to practice law anymore I mean I don’t know what the consequences will be one of the specifics that I would like to highlight that is being investigated right now is that when I went when I attended one of his speeches cuz he gave speeches all around Washington DC and Baltimore actually really Nationwide but memes specifically in those two places so I went with him one time to DC and he was getting up an actual speech on police brutality he and I were driving back from the Washington Monument where he gave his you know his thing and he had someone else he was living with somebody else at the time you know he feel like a decade he was with somebody else already and I knew that already together for several years but he always wanted me to be quiet when this other person called because he was trying to give the illusion that he was always by himself obviously he wasn’t and so my phone made a noise in the car and I was already pissed at him it was already towards the end of our relationship and and so he he swung his hand at me and it smacked me in the face he was trying to I think you’re trying to get my phone or maybe he really was trying to hit me I’m not really sure but either way he smacked me in the face so hard that it gave me a bloody nose and so she immediately said it was my fault like the first thing you do if you have a bloody nose is you say my bad didn’t mean to do that that wasn’t what I was trying to do something that communicates you weren’t trying to do that you know what I mean at minimum if not apologize as well right he just kept on saying how it was my fault the whole time because he knows I should have known I knew my phone should have been on silent it was my fault so that’s what’s being investigated right now is was he intentionally trying to hit me you know what I mean cuz that would that’s the mean that would be a really big deal so because he didn’t apologize because he said it was my fault even at the time I I stayed quiet and I didn’t record it I mean four years I didn’t say anything because I just took it as he’s just angry just stay quiet just you know he’s just upset just you know it was a mistake but that was me really covering up all of this narcissistic skewed power Dynamic situation you know me playing along with it and so when I opened up this investigation also you know what fuck this I’m going to really tell tell the story like it really what I just said it just like this I reported it right and so that’s what’s actually being that’s I think the main thing what I believe is the main thing is being investigated from him along with many other any other things that I think should also go looked at but it looks like this is just being highlighted which you know is is fine I guess but yeah so what’s interesting is that this person even though he’s a lawyer he completely lied and made up a story and his response back about it that just made me look hysterical and he said that I was trying to grab the wheel and you try to protect yourself from me actually and that’s why he hit me I feel like a courtroom drama is such a theater of bullshit art anyway it’s just it makes me think of what you just said that it makes me think that it’s it’s a it’s a tragedy that the people who actually represent their clients and have to tell these ridiculous stories that are the that you know I mean I’m going to take your word for it because I just have that bias I’m sorry I take I take women’s words after I take I take one with the word what is it what’s that word you say not unquestioningly but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt in this in this case I give you the chance to the doubt and we’ll start there and then it and then it’s funny because I was just thinking right now so you just described your telling of that incident and it makes me want to see in a courtroom it’s like the future of of courtroom drama okay like you have a Hollywood production crew and they get models and actors in and it a whole production crew together to actually make a historical re-enactment docudrama of just that that scene and then after the after you get to show yours your docudrama this evening we get to watch his it’s like you’re screaming for swerving and people are like like women walking with the with their carriages and dogs suffer like screaming and running and having to jump into the fountain and oh my God yeah just like any narcissist portrayed himself like the victim and even though so not a victim I mean this man is millionaire I mean he’s very highly educated he’s in the position of power in the community he’s a mentor to like other officials in the community other governmental officials and you know it’s it’s really the biggest question that I have is why would someone like that want to be in a relationship with someone so societally disempowered like like myself I mean I was in a societal no position at the time like I was I was really a nobody you like what would turn you on like that’s what I really want to know like now that I look at it from hindsight like why would that really turn you on if you would someone like that and it’s because of the power Dynamic it really is what turns them on it’s that they have more power that’s it so has nothing to do with the other person right to have somebody be your equal obviously it takes half your power away when you can be when you don’t see them as your equal or they don’t stand up for whatever reason in your case not because you were extremely introverted or shy but probably more just that you were younger and figuring out life and you know then that’s another another for predators that’s I think you’re kind of yours it’s just it’s honestly Brown like it’s really disgusting yeah well that’s it’s really an and I was practically homeless at the time as while I was living out of my friend’s closet shuttle walk-in closet that was empty and I was that was where I stayed was with my friend I mean with interesting if I got it I got a question for you will come back to it so what’s interesting is that in this does have to do with my particular role in the situation but what I did which I hope every woman does the situation of really anyone who’s in a disempowered situation you have to use the tools are being given to you in order to lift yourself up and so I did start my own business he tries to take full credit for that he also tries to take full credit for my bulimia being healed you know he he always and that was actually one of the reasons why the breakup was was so like a seal the deal like he kept on saying to me you know I was really what I was writing my book and I started publishing it and I was talking about my bulimia being here. He started saying to me I healed it you know that it wasn’t it wasn’t you it wasn’t your practice it wasn’t anything that you were doing I healed and he said it so many times it was just so it just it just made me like see him clearly for the first time you know and so my advice that really anyone in a disempowering situation like that is really just to use whatever tools and resources are being provided to you use them to your benefit and I was able to walk away with the business I was able to walk away with more education I was able to walk away feeling in this order that I had I was able to walk away with more confidence with more understanding I was able to walk away also at with with with a reputation and my reputation it is working with women and now is working with men to doing the lingam breathing thing I just started doing that like a year ago but they’re saying leave the trauma well that’s about it so yeah so that’s that’s pretty much everything been you know I’m I’m I’m still trying to get comfortable talking about it I’m still trying to make cheese with the situation so the if we were to this is all say what you had a couple questions weren’t you know talking about what is what is it that these men in the end I think it’s just you know a kid in a candy store if you can get to that point I mean from my perspective I think what happens is most men in their horniest and most viral life years are also the most broke the most pimply the highest pitched voices and the most socially awkward and really unattractive to women as they’ll ever be so it’s really it’s a really bizarre mind-fuck to be a horny teenager and have no game and have only certain jocks with clear skin be the ones who get to be the prom King and they tend and they tend to do what people call peaking in high school meaning you think you’re that you know King of the Hill and you can hear the king bully or whatever the king jock and you get to be the prom king and you get you in the popularity contest and you get laid on you know on prom night or whatever but then after that you kind of go downhill and you just kind of lose your your mojo and you just join the workforce and you just reminisce on the old football days or whatever and you don’t really continue to strive and to achieve and to impress women maybe you’re locked into a sexless marriage and you know of any search Just For Men is about impressing women like on a subconscious level is that like whatever it is that like the power game like trying to get power I think you’re getting that you’re getting at it for sure which to me I have my psychoanalysis on myself and I can try to transpose this and and project it to a degree around me after my you know brother Circles of men’s groups and Tantra Meetup to know that it’s like the trauma I think with men is that because their ends up being a very disproportionate level of sexual starvation during your Peak years of sexual of what should be your sexual prowess and really only a handful of men get to experience that glory and then what happens is you just rot inside and you become obsessed and it takes maybe many failed marriages and many decades to become a professional success and then finally once your boner start getting soggy have money you have power and now your voice is a little bit lower your skin is in his pimply and your face isn’t do you don’t have baby fat on your face anymore and so you are becoming more attractive to women but also you have a SOG your boner and and honestly the aura of younger women in their Prime in their fertility Prime gets men’s dicks hard after they’ve gone soggy in 40 and above years so that is like this this weird kind of like sick joke that that Creator create Rick’s goddess I don’t know God whatever like Evolution whatever it it makes this interesting inverse situation and it really makes everybody lose in the modern Paradigm because if we were to acknowledge the Arc of male testosterone and also acknowledged The Arc of female fertility then we would celebrate older women being cougars and fucking younger men who are more Vero and we would celebrate older men getting your dick hard with younger women who are who are more fertile and that would solve a lot of problems are you interested in dating in your fountain of youth exactly you’re the Fountain of Youth there you go man who is making a lot of powerful decisions that I could be a feminine softener like I could saucin him a little bit because he was he probably is like he usually very hyper mess he let you know and he still is hyper masculine very hyper masculine and I did it it did turn me on to know that I was with a powerful man and I could be some type of Aid to him in my naivete well I will yeah I’ll tell you I’ve been in this is actually an awesome so we’re getting into some really you know I’ve got Goose Bumps thinking about this because this is the truth and the Heart of the matter that we have to explore to be honest as a culture about these Dynamics cuz that look at the Dos Equis commercial and I’m like yeah give me a fuckinbreak you know come on what is this really about is this guy or earned the respect of these women are those all his granddaughters you know what the fuck is going on here you know we all have that like sort of what the fuck is this guy doing at this bar with his 10 granddaughters what is it like you know what the hell is no ionic and it’s it it is really disgusting and disturbing because he used to an innocent with a narcissist will do to try to position his environment to mirror his power back to him and so he would say things like that to me like oh you know it’s it it turns you on that you know people see us and they think that you know I’m taking advantage of you and it turns me on to know that you know the real story and you know that I really take care of you and I really love you and I really all these other people were looking at us on the outside you know fuck them I was like that’s what I felt like I feel like this is proportionate power dynamics between us I didn’t see them because I thought I was part of his power now like I I thought I was he was part of my power and I was part of his power that’s what I thought with joining forces with him you know what I mean and in my naivete in my in cuz that’s what he led me to believe and what’s interesting is that he used to say to me a lot used to say you know I it’s about protecting me you don’t protect me baby it’s about protecting me for acne protect me when I would you know carry drugs with him and travel with him and put the you know the drugs up my pussy for him and do all this illegal bulshit with him he used to say Protect Me protect me like me take the hit like basically he was he was grooming me for years to take the hit for him you know and I always knew that and I hated that I hate that you would put me in that position but as the subordinate in that situation as the you know as as the the less or equal one I I would give you what you would say and I didn’t have family around me I think would also would also made him want to be with me is that I didn’t have family around me I didn’t have a man I didn’t have anyone around me you know I live around me a little bit of the time but she didn’t really do anything either like no one did anything like no one did anything and you know the whole the whole relationship with him grooming me to protect him so that I could take the hit if something ever happened I’m leaving out a lot of details that’s well that’s a very good stuff very interesting now I don’t think anyone forward after hearing about you shoving drug drugs up your pussy to protect the man is I mean in and I can commiserate because I will tell you I was in a similar relationship Dynamic with a woman who is ridiculously wealthy beyond my wildest imagination and I was in a relationship Dynamic with her that was very powerful sex magical power couple manifesting you know really the living the dream and she was almost 20 years older than me and I would say there was a real sincere beautiful love and adoration mutually going on but there’s also some subtle undertow currents going on of me basically waking up one day discovering that I had been tricked into being a come slave and that she was harvesting my seed in order to rejuvenate her Essence and that is something known to the Chinese Taoist and there are women who were empresses in The the more classical ancient age of Chinese sexual Kung Fu amongst the Imperial class and women were were known to actually like men alive with their pussies and kill them by sucking and Driver season almost dead I was like a tripled up and I had to go to hospital no it wasn’t that bad but you made you come like ever they all the time so nuts what will swallow it into the into the fine tissues it for a for vaginal canal and you know otherwise but you know mainly it’s it’s the way it gives you gets absorbed in Mexico older women are lusting and they getting these passionate make it into heat you know wild passionate fiery heat for the Young Bucks seed and the Chinese knew that it may take out get this the Chinese we have this it it’s something some people have tried to myth busted but supposedly there’s this mythical Cult of the white tigress and the white tigress Cult of essential Chinese types of yoginis you would say they understood these Dynamics and they had an astrological clock work of how they would ingest in I don’t know why but nothing just sit in their ass but at least they in the mouth in the vagina they were ingesting taking in male semen but they knew that they need to have a certain ratio of older more refined more semen retention men they were so they would have an older guy at a certain phase of the moon and then 10 younger guys at it another phase of the moon and basically they were figuring out how to like nurse themselves as if this is like a you know I mean it really is that guy that the semen is filled with nutrients that’s what is called Baby battery you know that’s not us that’s no joke another stick important nutrients in there and so it should be a beautiful Dynamic and when you look at what they’ve done with that culture you know they understood these things and if you were a man and you didn’t want to be you no SEC drive your semen you have to learn semen retention to survive the Wrath of the fucking and so it’s like this said that they call it the flowery Battlefield you know him and that’s how they eat that’s how they collided with poetic language of the war of the Sexes but sexual Kung Fu flowers Battlefield in are they had they had no, that’s for the Jade egg comes from when we were talking about sophisticated sex with Warriors we can figure it out again and you have kind of like yeah you’ve broken free and now you are like resurrecting that the power of the witch witches to actually run this stuff and I don’t I don’t blame her but it was sad because of a certain point I was like you know I’m learning more about Tantra I’m learning at that I’m getting to a point where I need to stagger my my release you know a little bit and so that was just to see if she lost her fucking mind as if I took away her heroin and it was just like she went crazy and it all went downhill and we broke up and it was extremely ugly and there was total Madness cuz you just wanted to come last that was a part of it then and then she wanted me to reverse my vasectomy in and I said no you are doing black magic and I can feel that you’re doing black magic to try to get Knocked Up by me so that you can keep me for around forever which I am I told you I’m polyamorous is not going to happen oh my God it’s like I hope I hope no one’s hearing this everybody to shut this off and deleted file or not we have got to come clean about these secret bedroom psychodrama the monado Pathak he used to do now since we’re talking about this so he used to say to me when we were having sex and mind you he always had to be on top of me always he always wanted to be looking down at me or you will say to me at the hot the climax of my orgasm he would say you know you want to get pregnant he would say you know I want to get you pregnant you know you’re my come slave you know your he was just sleeping ideas into me to make me fall for him all the time and then again making that power Dynamic more skewed as much as possible and so me being naive at the time I took everything he said no but he’s my man you know I love him he’s my man if he wants me to be his come slave I’m going to be home slave like I literally like I just took I didn’t think about anything he was saying to me as being a ways of positioning me to be more submissive to him to be I mean I knew that I knew that I knew that I was being submissive to him you know because he was my man and everything and and I loved him and anything you said to me I just wanted to make him happy I just wanted to make him give him what he wanted I didn’t see it as that black magic that you were talking about and so some of the things you would say to me sometimes some of the things you would slip in I would look at myself and be like does he did he really say that does he really want me to do that in me you would start talking about my friend you know you want to lick her pussy and like trends that I really didn’t want to do that with like friends I really didn’t have any interest in having threesome with or anything like that I’m so he would just slip things into me slip slip things in my psyche specifically when I was about to come like that’s really important you know and cuz you’re so you’re highly suggestible at that time like you can take any suggestion and in real you’re taking it in like your brain waves are or like sleep weight like when you’re dreaming there like your brain waves are in a much more you just absorb more when you’re in that frame of mind and so he would say that to me and now looking at it in hindsight he was really was just trying to brainwash me really you know I mean this was every day for years you know what I mean he always forced me to smoke weed before we had sex I didn’t want to I was like I don’t want to and I really do believe that now the issues that I have with marijuana like I really stepped back to that situation because he used to he literally stuff like physically coerce me like physically like he didn’t like push me but he would like to kind of would like even if he would just really like put me in situations and be like okay just take it just take a hit just do it and then he would want to have sex with me so that my mind would be even more open to suggestions from creep adelic shit and now I realize we’re going to have to name this podcast abolishing come slavery or you’re both of the come slaves cuz we both what your focus becomes today yeah okay alright fuck it is going to fly it’s going to fly just like that we’re going to we’re going to I was going to think of something very prudent and the moment you know she wasn’t on your team Edward and I would have died for I would die for him I would have littorai I love this man so much I was going to name my baby after him I’ll do a braid my baby’s hair just like his hair I was going to do all this stuff to just honor and commemorate him forever I was even trying to get a mural done of him on the side of a building in Baltimore that I just thought he deserved it that he did so much for the community but he deserved it but again behind the scenes he’s fucking up women did you receive the Malcolm X did you see the Spike Lee Malcolm X film with Denzel Washington I think you should really really watch that like really soon because that and show Girls as I mentioned before Showgirls will give you that sort of that cynical view on the the underbelly of Vegas for sure and kind of like bolster your your it’ll kind of inoculate you against a lot of the Vegas bulshit but if you see if you are shot Malcolm X it’s really a great film and you learn so much from it you know I can’t say from my studies how historically accurate is but it is really moving and like one of the things that they expose is this is the corruption of sexual excesses by spiritual leaders who claimed to have certain values and certain intentions and certainly preach certain values intentions but courser total Hypocrites and end up knocking up their servants or knocking up there just you know all these politicians Schwarzenegger it’s like it’s such a such a shitshow behind the scenes and and I think that you and I are or are seeking enlightened spiritual sexual Enlightenment within movements that at their best actually give us the tools to talk about this stuff and to be more honest about this stuff and you know I’m a little bit skeptical and weary of the country Colts and the the cult of personality around gurus and and what not but I do feel like it is the yoginis who are who are taking the power back and stealing the fire back and building their own temples in creating your own spaces where if you fix if I if you ask me where what would you ask if I had a conversation with this gentleman your cum Mass if you will I would say dear sir, Master I’m here to speak on behalf of your former come slave and and what we’re talking about now is like how you could have had your cake and eating it too and now you’re in you know some you know you’re in some some big trouble with with people who care about this stuff now but the thing that I would love to see is it like okay what if the women had the Deeds to the land what if the women manage their wealth collectively knowing that men are useful for physical labor some of them are useful for intellectual Pursuits and in service work but ultimately you know in a culture that worships the divine feminine life-giving aspect of Nature and the Oni and the wounded musically every everybody I mean women or in service to the womb regardless because they have to manage your menstrual cycle you have to manage your just rescuing like you don’t get a choice not to be a Yoni worship that your devotion is to your Yoni Temple you have no choice men have the option of whether to trash it and pollute it and abuse and rape it or they can be trained by women to have a sympathy and compassion towards the Oni and to actually devote themselves to building the temples that that that feed and nurse is stolen and in Steward the land so I imagine that a benevolent form of make sure where women are in as a sort of ecologically wise form of power that they would there would not be this shacking up to older men you have land and have money and have power but that power would not be granted to those men in the men would always be in a dynamic where they have to come and serve the temple to have to come and serve the goddess and they might get the blessing of a sexual experience if they planting of trees that day or Dig Inn recipes with build and rescue no cancel all of their effort and all of that you so you want to be you know like a hyper-masculine dominator will go dominate that pile of wood with that Axe and then and then will fucking Bayview down and and then we’ll fuck you fuck her brains out you know so that’s I’m I would ask the judge if there ever is a judge to adjudicate this matter to say can you please Institute matriarchal ecovillages for these men actually don’t take themselves in so they can have like an ethical you know what would it be you wouldn’t be a common slave you would be a cam princess to come Queen if I’m got it I’ve had I’ve had witches intelligently harvest my semen for Magical ritual purposes and offerings to their devoted. He’s so it’s like we can all become slaves if we devote ourselves property to the right you know the right being so you know on the other side of the veil but we we got a long way to go for sure this is the tip of the iceberg and you know if he in in his lawyers and the signs and errors and representatives and you already had it I listening to this. Gaston like you know I’ll see you let’s meet the stance on the astral plane and I’ll introduce you to some of the humbling dakinis who are going to make you want to repent you know and there’s hope I promise ya ya I loved it then so I really agree with everything you said I think the Met charcoal ecosystem is definitely the way it’s it’s a problem solver for many many problems not just come slaves problems but like the environmental issue I think you know the beauty of man like me being single right now in wanting you know like company and everything and and and you know I I I I still yearned a man like I still yearn to be in a relationship but I mean honestly like I just I’m at the point now where I’m really every man has their purpose you know what I mean just like I’m sure a lot of men who date multiple women like every woman has their purpose and so sometimes like you just most of the time we just need a man around like you said for intellectual conversation and a lift heavy things and I think that’s very honorable like I mean I that was what else what like what else can can we ask for you know what I mean like we don’t need all of this extra bulshit that you’re trying to do you know like that’s really all I need right now as I just I just want an intellectual conversation just like this and I need help lifting some heavy things and I would love to provide my Yoni goddess energy to you in exchange for any of the help she would like to give me you know well are we still are we still on the air do I get to do we get to Publix at live is that if I could I said official proposal because I said no and then and I’ve got like you know Mister the dream team of a stunt cocks and like there’s you need help I need a lot of help lifting things here I need to bring my trapeze in there’s a lot of women can’t make it by themselves you know what let me say this is going to sound a little random but honestly me going to this healing process I have been batting men away because I’ve just been here like I’ve been a little bit more short with with people like with my words and you know just trying to keep things limited cuz I’m I’m healing I’m not healing anymore it right now like I’m out of it but the first two years of moving to Vegas was brutal and and honestly you know yeah I just I just really I just really needed help I just really needed support and you know I’m I feel a lot better now I feel a lot lighter now but yeah I I still need help we all all women need a man even the lesbians and everything like we all we all yearn for that masculine energy to protect us provide for us in touch even if it’s our old masculine energy but it is I was starving for it for so long then I was so miserable for so long healing and trying to get over this trying to make sense of it and try to use the lesson and some benefits away and come out like a phoenix and make it work and you know we as I still want to be with a man Even though this happened to me even though I was traumatized even though all of this I stole urine I so would love it and I don’t want to go to a sperm bank I don’t want to have to go to a sperm bank 2 have a baby and everything like that but you know it’s it’s just like I mean I understand I’m at the I’ve gone through such a brutal initiation that I actually understand the women going to the sperm banks I understand the women the lesbians the bushes I understand that I really do I really do if I was not who I am and that was in some other situation maybe I would have stayed you know like a lesbian going to a sperm bank cuz I would have hated to be with a man cuz I would have generalized my situation to all men think of the boxer little bit I think I have a lot of gay men who are who are beautiful and who are obsessed with me and in a good way and I would love to have that proposed to them that they ate for a few nights of fertility out of the month that they be straight for pay and we get them in the mix because you know I’m clipped but but I can see that’s the thing like if we understand the opportunities in the opportunity to create a ritual around around conscious conception it’s not it doesn’t have to be like this this horrible curse of a contracted like oh my God I have to compromise so much just to get my biological clock that’s ticking me off faster and faster for women you know past 25 it’s time to get busy and it’s like I like to see a world where you don’t have to compromise any of your integrity and your sovereignty and leave your power and have your wealth and that you can have the designer motherhood to designer Parenthood within a community of Enlighten people and there’s just like a currency of love affection and sexual gratification that is not found by and nausea Mystic Street marriage contracts which only serve the state thus there’s a documentary called divorce court I think is what it’s called it’s all about it’s literally goes into the racket of how much money the state makes on the revolving door in and out of every marriage the state to accept money and they have ripped it there they read the whole thing so that all will give you these benefits so that you pay us to go into the end of the agreement and pay us to break the agreement we know there’s a 50% divorce rate for first marriage 80% on second marriages and it doesn’t get prettier after that End of Innocence yeah Gene Simmons from Kiss I watched a documentary he did on finance because he’s one of the most successful multi product line branding marketing Geniuses of the whole Remy’s the most enterprising Rock God ever more than any other good people just kill themselves with heroin and booze but he said in the beginning of his talk you said you know what’s the number one cause of divorce can you guys do you know what he said I said the divorce is marriage so number one cause of divorce marriage he was flipping the script just to be like it’s so doomed it’s so fatalistic like why even bubble and he said how shameful it is for society to accept this notion that for example like a young gold-digging wife and I don’t not see if not to say this to put you down but I think the same thing and something happened to Anna Anna Nicole Smith. I think she tried to like hijack the wealth of a super rich aging I think it was like an oil Mogul or something like that, or what his distinguished but basically he died so soon after they married because he was so decrepit when they first met that the courts actually said you know what we’re not going to give you all this money his family like please tell him I said no fucking way so that’s the end then I know there’s a there’s this hope yeah I I I believe that’s heard some I’m cuz I thought I saw a documentary in like the last 24 hours of her life or something and she was like taking all these shots and like oh my God I was just taking shots Lake oh she was it was like I think what it was was that she was representing some machine she was like taking like some kind of fat moderation shots or something like that and they were like causing I think they cause like an abscess and actually got infected and I’m really maybe butchering this so I would say nobody please you know don’t think I’m a massage this cuz I might put these facts but look it up if there’s a pattern that were talking about and this is like we’re getting deeper into these things that people are uncomfortable looking at and it’s like I know about this culture of of young women club club type stripper bartender dancers who strategically positioned themselves near the local football team so that they can be the one who gets knocked up and the baby daddy is Rich and she gets to take that DNA test to the bank and that was you know and like why wouldn’t you I mean if I were an intelligent cunning woman knowing that I lived in the skewed patriarchal situation I could shake it and get you know I pretty much turn a man’s head and like seduce him to impregnate me and I will be poking holes in condoms with pins you know I’m just being right but that’s like I don’t I don’t want to take you know that’s that’s that’s a fear and respect response you know that and there’s reasons why I almost refused to be intimate with a woman alone because I don’t want her to be a story about how I was there was any discrepancy you know in these situations which is a benefit like if we can move towards a paradigm where social sexuality is the norm then there will be no more he said she’s is there will be people who will be adjudicated the truth based on a triple entry Ledger of the truth so to speak like it’s not just what somebody says happened and what another person says that it didn’t happen it will be like we were all there that didn’t happen you know and then you just need to cool out but I think it’s just like you can’t go wrong with like eight handed massages while you’re you know making love I got it I just think that attention and so I respect the women like you were doing Yoni workshops with other women and their I’ve interviewed women have done nude yoga classes and it’s just like something magical happens when people adults in groups get just get naked and then they get raw and then I like while I don’t have to be fighting everyone I don’t feel so defensive and it’s just take some time and that’s what yogurt is good for and breathing and meditation and you get to that point where were you all feel like you’re one organism and you just want to be with you Joseph Pleasure P that octopus of pressure and like these creepy freaky things like the things that you’re talking about in the things that I’ve been through I would drag women they wouldn’t have a word attached to me and I would drag both of us out into the middle of the street to get witnesses can I get a witness funny vine Ivan I was a guy was a come slave yeah and it was like that if you if you only knew how legendary the public meltdown of that relationship was it was just like it was Jerry Springer on steroids and just the deceit getting worse and worse I had to literally run in the middle of the night to the edge of the property line to hope that the neighbors would see me screaming can I get a witness stomach hurts. We have a new pack it’s become slave pact slaves are definitely going to be a matter of like finding the people who are comfortable and have had enough of these traumas and privacy to like question I call it the cult of the couple or I might borrow that from someone else but I heard that term when I said yeah the cult of the couple that’s where all the fuckary happens if they call we were the madness happens in once you start opening up that container you know yes there’s going to be more Dynamics and possibly more drama but the thing is at least the drama will have more bullshit colors in more referees and people to say hope you’re you’re distorting the facts like you’re you know and just nonviolent communication goes a long way but but yeah we work yeah but the word last night I had a milk through it was in the Meltdown and it wasn’t totally of this would be we could melt through I love your neologism let’s melt through all of this bullshit together and I will I will come to the rescue so to speak and be you know a posting up for definitely part parts of my schedule as much as possible in Vegas for a lot of fun and interesting reasons but have no fear and if I if I have to like put some from somebody straight for pay or other straight men in the in the stunt cock rotation then you know you will be at the thought crossed my mind very organically for the first time and I am as natural as they come I mean I don’t I don’t like doing things in an unnatural way let alone comes conceiving a child but I’ve been you know what I mean. That was the essence of why me and my ex broke up was because he led me to believe for many years as you wanted to have a baby with me and you would say things to me like oh that gets my dick hard whenever I was talk about it you would literally say to me that gets my dick hard he was really just trying to deepen my pussy go deeper in my pussy open up my trust in him more and be more submissive to him and I’ll never leave him cuz I think he’s thought that I was just going to leave him to have a baby with someone else cuz our relationship was so it messed with the time you didn’t want me to leave and so I thought about it very organically for the first time it just crossed my mind and I am so not the type to go to a damn sperm bank I mean the way that a man the way that it would it would degenerate I would think like the moment you ejaculate the sperm start Sox’s oxidizing it starts to generate so it’s not even worth it even though I’m sure they have practices to fight against that and conserving but I’m sorry if anyone you know as an advocate and come on the show and talk about it but I think it’s really disturbing myself to like I want to have a baby like I want to I want to raise a child that I want to I would even adopt you know and so I burned anything literally I was able maybe I can just get find someone who went to the sperm bank and have a relationship with that like I was trying to really think about it I was like what do I do you know what I mean and I’m not even the tight then so I can’t imagine other women who have been in similar situations where you know I can’t imagine yeah I’ve will have actually helped the former lover of mine who was absolutely heartbroken that I got a vasectomy right around the time that we are falling in love and she said she would do anything to reverse it and she wanted so badly and I was honest and I said look you know I have like a II my jeans are like spoiled and polluted and ruined by some evil demonic hierarchy From Another Dimension and I’ve seen that so deep in shamanic ceremonies that I just know that it is my absolute duty to no longer perpetuate this DNA on Earth and like a monk’s make one that’s a huge that’s a spiritual thing to own you know I mean I’ve seen on iOS away that demons crawl on the family DNA bloodline the way like a spider web time alone you know so this intergenerational trauma is no joke and I see it as like the way that we humans are capable in our worst states of perversity towards nature we’re capable of really abusing plants and animals by domestic getting them in a way that really makes them unsuitable in the wild like we went over domesticate them and we make them weak and susceptible to pests and disease and we have to be their caretakers Ever After because of that that’s like sort of the double-edged sword of domestication while we are also as human beings being domesticated by entities from the Demonic realm and that’s why schizophrenia is rapid that’s why you have these degenerative disorders and all these things are basically the handiwork of entities that are farming us from the astral plane beyond our perception and put if you take a third eye opening psychedelic then you will see what is stowing away in your chakras and you might discover that like oh yeah this like pattern of sexual abuse in a family is actually a burrowing creature that has nested within one generation to the next and they for all we know they’re like hyperparasite they’re basically a hyperspatial parasite and so you know I know that there’s things like attached to my soul that I need to purge in this lifetime ritually through the Tantra and basically not let them have another generation you know I would not let them have that low-hanging fruit like they already cracked and hacked the DNA of my bloodline when I asked my mother about like hay like what have you not told me about a lot of things you don’t she’s like yeah basically everyone our family has problems you know I think my mother was abused as I think that it’s like well I’m about to shine a light on all this bullshit and part of it is like being responsible so if I were you I mean I say we go on a world tour of the humblest most Serene indigenous villager populations of people who have been making Ayahuasca for thousands of years and look in their eyes and you see the purity of their soul and if they would do you the favor of allowing a fresh Soul strain to be repopulated you your room then we might have a chance but like you know I’ve listen to Catholic Exorcist who I take very seriously because it’s busy as loony as they might be you know they have some some perspective on the truth and one of them this guy Brother Carlos who has that got demons website I just absolutely love him because he’s like the Chris Farley Exorcist she’s like totally like an over-the-top like slapstick comedian ridiculous but but he takes very seriously and when you say something like that all humans have demons except for Jesus Christ because he was the Immaculate Conception in other than that I don’t know you said Adam and Eve and Jesus Christ were the only humans who don’t have demons because we inherit demons from our ancestors and from our parents not to mention any said demons enter freeways one inherited through your bloodline to you did something evil and you invited them into an evil act that contract with them or should I get something negligent and naive and ignorant a man and One locking himself out and raping his own and being possessed though he may not feel like he his Free Will was involved then his negligence allowed for entities from the Demonic realm to possess him and therefore intend to him and it’s not going to be it’s not going to be easy to do that removal work and so if you’re an exorcist you an exterminator and you know how these things function and you know how they brew and you have to do is squeeze the last of them with all of your all your might you know in the mighty name of the Lord Jesus Christ I cast you into the abyss that’s what he could have like a million times a day and I don’t know if it works but I will tell you what like some deep territory what it looks like to have conscious conception and to protect that contain of the Egyptians they knew about this that thing how to ritualize the protection of the womb space population and the intention for conception because that is a you’re bleeding and in this week coming in shark-infested loans Interstate know when we’re getting it on that’s why they afraid of masturbation they do know that when when you raise that arousal energy hitting the dinner bell to all of those dark horses how do you how do you invite the Holy Spirit accompany me to the bedroom and you can have that love and go up that is a whole nother conversation for another episode that really that’s the essence of what why I’m here doing any of this it’s like we have got to get really honest about abuse abuse that happened and only we’re going to do is to talk about it come together and support each other and really compensate for each other’s weaknesses and and like not exploit each other’s weaknesses but actually like really authentic Lee don’t like meet you with your needs where you’re at if your young woman if you’re an old woman you know if you were a email frigid if you have vaginismus if you remember so many things that affect the womb so many things affect women in like the last thing you need is like some guy to come in and manipulate you and trample you and caress you and leave you like worse off than he found you and like back after thinking you took a step forward you know that’s why we got a break so can you hear me by the way then yeah I can still hear you I think you know I’m sorry that was a long rat what I have to do and I love it I love it I just I think that’s the connection breaking because I actually left my home but but like I heard what you’re saying it and it is really appropriate for what we’re talking about later because the connection is breaking up and I think it is because I left yeah that’s that’s cool I think we’re well beyond the healthy stopping point and it was there a stretch but I think it was worth putting especially if anybody who is like your enemy now because of what you’re doing I would love for this if it’s fucking a let’s all talk about all those kids so thank you very much we need we need to make another conversation about this because the humans are was ruining everything indeed yes indeed by yeah that’s a nice to finger and so is there anything that you would you like to have the editorial if you want to hear this you can just double-check know do you want to have that final Eden Prairie reviews The Shocker right if you want we can do that I will not understand until you hear my edit am I you can okay cool alright then well then it’ll be a couple who love you too. Take care of this going to be out in a couple days thank you thank you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to see me and if you want to podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple after bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Archer Park. Com Damas de

Tantra Massage for Healing from Sexual Abuse Trauma with Tiffany Tanner TPP158

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Tiffany Tanner Pic

In this episode I have the blessing of speaking with Tiffany Tanner, a certified therapist and tantra massage teacher. I found her powerful article on  Mind Body Green about how tantra massage helped her heal from sexual trauma.

She bravely shares her story of healing from trauma that provides a very compelling and inspiring case study in transmuting a tragedy into a gift that serves the greater good and shifts disempowering victim role into a victor role.

We discuss how tantra massage techniques can effectively move trapped and negative energies from the past into the surface of the mind, body, and present moment. We also talk about how much care before and after is required to better ensure a positive outcomes.

About Tiffany:

Tiffany’s personal healing journey propelled her to become a certified therapist and teacher of Tantra Massage through her beloved school, Somananda Tantra School. She finds great joy in sharing and spreading these spiritually based, life-changing teachings in a pure and authentic way in group retreats and private courses for couples around the world. To learn more about Tiffany, Tantra Massage offerings and upcoming events, visit www.energyalchemy.me.
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast I’m joined by Tiffany Tanner today a certified yoga teacher certified tantra massage teacher and certified meditation teacher and I came across her work through one of my Tantra Google Alerts we’re pretty much scouring the web every week for anything new and interesting about the whole Global Tantra movement and that’s how we discovered a lot of great people doing a lot of great work and this really resonates with me the article that I found on mindbodygreen which all linked to in the show notes and it’s about how tantra massage Hercule from sexual trauma and the story that that she shares in that article is really nice really moving so I was I reached out to see if she’ll be want to talk about her journey and what she offers and definitely give us some good contacts for people who are interested in what is tantra massage and how can it be use to heal trauma and so with that said Tiffany would you like to tell us about your background give us kind of the more detailed story about how you overcame that trauma and if so become a service provider in all these beautiful areas when we were talking strictly about sort of the the the trauma itself at happens when I was quite young actually I was 7 or 8 years old it was by a dear friend of mine her father who was obviously a trusted fatherly figure for me I spent a lot of time with her she was my best friend so we were inseparable at that age and yeah it was you know just kind of one of those random days I was over there playing with her and she happened to to go inside for something and I was on the on their property that has like a swing set or playground and I was there just kind of playing and yeah he had invited me into the his Workshop area and of course I didn’t think anything of it he was going to show me something I don’t know what that was now but at the time it sounded very interesting and intriguing so as a child of course joint him that’s how what happened next was obviously very traumatic at that age he did sexually abused me and rape me and yeah and I walked away from that experience clearly confused and I didn’t really tell anybody it was it was very I just remember being very Dazed and Confused after the experience not quite sure what to make of it’s not sure if it was right or wrong because it was my friend’s father you know so you kind of question whether it’s okay or not okay when it’s someone that you trust but yeah I didn’t go through a whole lot of processing I didn’t tell anyone about it I was very worried about my friend getting in trouble and I didn’t want to rock any boats so to speak so that the next memory I had after the the incident was actually I was at my own home and my mom had said that it was seeing we had a scheduled play date with my girlfriend and I just literally went into chaos I I was very uncomfortable I was crying and I said no you have to cancel I locked myself in the bathroom that was a very very clear memory of mine that I locked myself in my bathroom and of course my mom was very confused you know this is my best friend and someone that I was always loving to spend time with so she wasn’t quite sure what had happened she of course questioned me as to whether or not that was you know if anything has happened that she should know about and by that time it was kind of I had suppressed the memory almost rather quickly I I consider it a great blessing and probably a protection mechanism of my Maya I don’t know my my mind my my body and my spirit who’s to say where the protection mechanism comes from but nevertheless I didn’t have a clear recollection as to why don’t want to go play I just knew that there was danger and I needed to stay away no matter what so that was kind of what was at the Forefront of my mind so yeah so I kind of cruise to realize of course it was a bit turbulent for many years but again being so young and didn’t really understand why it was so turbulent I struggled with many things emotionally as a child you know I got into my teenage years and and was less troubled at that time but I also fully engrossed myself in school and boys and work and school work and you know the things that you kind of focus on when you’re a teenager so it’s not really start flooding back to me memories until I was in my 20s I would say and mid-twenties and I just started having memories and feelings and Recollections and I couldn’t really make sense of them obvious they recognized my friend I recognized the father in these memories and these dreams but the idea that something like that could have happened and I wouldn’t have remembered was beyond me I didn’t know that the subconscious mind could do such a thing I thought for sure I would remember it if it really happened so when I started having these dreams these memories these Recollections I kind of dismissed them and thought they were rather ridiculous cuz what girl could possibly forget such a thing and then they it started to become more forthright it started to become more frequent and it came to a point where I was my boyfriend at the time when we were making love the he became the perpetrator he became the father that had raped me and I decided at that point Out Of Reach critical mass that this was definitely something that I needed to explore and look more deeply into so I thought help and that kind of propelled me and began my healing journey and an exploration Journey as well call thank you for sharing that and it’s so I have I can I can commiserate with a lot of that as a Survivor myself and I know it’s a it’s like a very that processive of Discovery is really difficult to reconcile and so I appreciate you just surviving as we always will have to do in and so if you don’t mind could you zoom in a little bit to what the experience was of your partner becoming the perpetrator would that mean that he was exhibiting kind of like hostel or predatory kind of Tendencies or was it just that your mind was kind of swapping the files for the experience that you you couldn’t differentiate or you were kind of having like a flashbacks they were kind of like blurring between the past and the present or how would you describe that so maybe people can start two people maybe who haven’t questioned what some similar experiences might have been and they may be in the same state of kind of denial you can say spray tan because by the way that I said it could leave so it’s good so good to clarify it it more became like a blurry line as to whether I was making love with my boyfriend who was a very sweet heart and soul so there is you know no perpetrator Tendencies on his part and there was nothing difference in our lovemaking or our relationship we have been together for I think three or four years at the time so it’s just the act of love making some sort of stimulated the memories of being raped as a child and so my lover became sort of it there was like this blurry line we’re at moments he looks like my friend’s father and so and obviously why when you see such a thing it definitely throws you off to say the least and and and it was quite shocking at the time, to think what I was thinking of have you ever seen that film Bliss it came out I think in the late nineties and it was like a Hollywood production with some pretty well-known actors and actresses in it pretty much details the whole Arc of recovery from sexual abuse with tantric healing cinematographers it has a very Cinema graphic way of showing in describing exactly what you’re talking about where it’s at one point you not to be not to give the spoiler alert but it’s a married couple and she’s struggling with a lot of internal issues in their kind of in therapy together and she’s inorgasmic and they’re just trying to work through it and then they kind of threw sacred spot massage State end up rupturing this sort of suppressed energy of all of his memories of, and then it just she just becomes flooded by if she has to she has to basically temporary set separate with a partner so she can go into some more Focus human work so how did you were you able to transcend that August now we get into how you were able to to move beyond that into did you regret your relationship survive also that that chapter chapter on my partner at the time was very supportive but the relationship kind of expired not long after that, it was just more of a amicable parting of ways and kind of growing in different directions so I wouldn’t say that it didn’t survive because of the incident because he was very supportive and actually very instrumental in the process and the healing but yeah you know we all grow and evolve in the sometimes that means party way so that we can continue on with life in different directions I’m glad to hear that the that he was supportive when it mattered the most I’m just do you have any tips or from that recollection of time specially for people who were who were supporters of survivors in these these relationship Dynamics any sort of good feedback you could share about what was working for him playing a role in just being present and supportive than studying and learning with you about the whole issue yeah for sure you know when partners are sort of on the the other ends of the spectrum and trying to support other partners that have gone through such experiences men or women I I think number one is to not take anything personally he was very good about that we had a very close to motional energetic and psychic Connection in some ways where he could really see that if there were issues that were stemming or popping up in our relationship that often times they were because of the healing process and the recollection process that I was having to go through so he was really patience and very sweet in that sense and that he could really step back or to take himself out of it not take it personally and realize that there was something much more Global going on and what was happening perhaps between him and I if there is a challenge or a disagreement of some sort that a lot of it was as a result of me having to go through the psychological psychotherapeutic process so I would say number ones not take it personally which is obviously easier easier said than done number 2 is supposed kind of holding the space which I hesitate to use a little bit cuz it’s kind of this new age term that doesn’t have a whole lot of substance unless you really Define what that means but as much as possible just kind of allowing the person to go through the process because there are so many different levels and stages of the healing process from anger to paint to outrage to sadness to having to relive it was awful moment that you just want to forget forget about to forgiveness to love to so many different levels and stages so it’s it’s quite an ask for a partner to support Survivor as you had mentioned or called it before so if you can just hold the space and allow those emotions to come out allow those stages in those levels to evolve in progress there is certainly a light at the end of the tunnel tunnel and there is sort of this shining ending most of the time to the story so I think that’s probably where the two most fundamental and memorable actions or inactions in some cases that my partner took that really supported my healing Journey that is so grateful to hear that and I’ll just add by saying that the statistics of reported sexual abuse cases of boys and girls men and women it’s so high it’s so off-the-charts and that’s under estimating you know not factoring all the people who don’t actually come out and in either respond to a survey or file a police report or no however those studies measure this so I think it’s important that we all kind of probably expect that we’re going to at some point be in a position where if we’re not survivors ourselves we’re going to be carrying closely for someone intimately who has had some level of trauma so yeah it’s going to be making more critical that the work that you’re doing and they were all doing to raise awareness is going to have her clay through through the culture until we get this problem solved so do you want to talk now about how where you started to discover Tantra and kind of what what the steps forward you took to to kind of grow and get into those more the stages you word your mentioning we are getting you know kind of just not not getting over it not not putting it behind you but integrating that the bigger picture and just becoming degree like realizing you become a wounded healer so when I initially started to explore the memories are flooding back and sit to heal this suppressed memory I started with conventional means you know this is the only thing that I really knew about so I started with a psychology and Psychotherapy and I went to life coaching I did a number of different modalities to try to cuz I there’s a part of me somehow even though I don’t know what I know now there is a part of me that subconsciously knew that this was more than just something psychological this is more than just something you know at the Forefront of my subconscious mind this is something that had somehow embedded deeply into my life on many different levels spiritually emotionally mentally sexually physically so there’s a part of me that knew I needed to do more than just talk about it on a couch so to speak I knew that I needed much more than just hypnotherapy for example to really confirm whether the memories I was seeing where real and true and really happens I knew that there was an energetic healing that needed to take place in emotional healing that needed to take place a mental a spiritual a sexual so many different different thing I really over the course of the the healing process and that over many years I did many different Therapies and I have to pay for me personally sure that there were there were certainly times that it was it was hard to handle it was hard to see the truth it was hard to swallow what was coming through but I have to say I’m so grateful and thankful that that memory was depressed for 20-something years because when it’s so fresh and when you’re a child and you don’t have the coping mechanisms for the understanding to get through such an ordeal then you can really carry a much bigger load of baggage for your life then what I probably did so it was a really a God sent that I had suppressed memories for 20 years by the time you’re in your twenties you’re obviously much more mentally aware and emotionally aware and you have a lot more control over what comes through cheer being an end so I the healing process was was quite therapeutic it was quite harmonious I can’t say that there was really a time where I felt overwhelmed by the healing process or felt like I couldn’t do it or it was too much it was step-by-step it was it was a unique experience in something I would never sort of take away from myself because I really feel like it attributed to who I am today and the path that I’m on today so that I find some gratitude and I find an immense amount of forgiveness as well but yeah I began with these conventional means and by the end of the the process which is probably over the course of eight or ten years I really felt like I was in a good place I really felt like I could easily talked about this experience I wasn’t cheering up I didn’t feel like this emotional hang of hurt or pain inside of my being I I was rather relaxed about the topic about the memory about having discussions openly with people so in my mind I had healed it in my mind it was a done deal and I had Unearthed everything that could possibly be on earth and then of course fast forward gosh I don’t know exactly how I found myself in kind of this a relatively good place in my life I have owned I was only my own business I was very successful at what I was doing I was passionate about what I was doing I was loving what I was doing but I always felt like there was something more that I was missing something in the end that there was a purpose that I was really craving and I found myself in a bit of a a spiritual crisis I would call it kind of that who am I and why am I here question it became it kind of consumes me it was it became something that I can no longer just miss or speed I suppose are quiet down with just simple things are with material things or with them you know a bit of yoga this or bit of meditation that or hanging out with friends it be a really deep calling and I found myself at the place where this was non-negotiable now and I had to do something about it and but it didn’t know where to turn I didn’t know what was next and I found myself praying for the first time down on my knees praying and asking something a higher power or God or something for guidance on what was next how to move forward how do I discover the answers to these very broad big life changing questions and I prayed for about 2 weeks and then I found myself on my computer looking on something on YouTube so you know random unrelated YouTube search and on YouTube if you were call there’s like a side panel that gives you suggested videos the subjects suggested videos are in relation to what you’re searching for but in this case it was completely unrelated and I saw this video that was called tantra massage energetic orgasm using tantra massage techniques and it just for some reason really stood out and in again intrigues me and peaked my curiosity and I decided to click on it and yeah that that led me to someone on the Tantra School that’s who this video I checked out his website and I just said you know what I don’t know why but I really need to explore this more I’d never heard of Tantra really I’d never been involved with you and so for me this was it didn’t really make a whole lot of sense but for some reason it felt like it was the answer to my prayers so I did check out his website and there was a course that was coming up in 5 days and Argentina and put attending such a course would be at the time with seemingly impossible I had booked at like a complete my schedule at work was completely booked out for 2 weeks ahead I had eight hours a day clients booked in so the idea of being able to drop all those clients cancel them book a ticket to Argentina take the 10-day course was a bit hard to Fathom at the time but that’s a little voice inside my head said that I must go and I did actually key to that calling I did listen to that voice my ended up there and that’s where I started I took the 10-day tantra massage therapist course so what I experienced there was completely unexpected because again in my mind I had completely healed the sexual Trauma from the past and there was nothing left to discover there is nothing left but as I was going through the tantra massage and working with many different partners and for so many days we were doing you no 3 for massages a day by day6 I had an amazing release an amazing unexpected a healing I guess took place and it was and I knew exactly where it had come from he knew exactly what it had stemmed from I knew that it was related to the sexual trauma and what surprises me is that it was so harmonious it was so peaceful it was as though you kind of said something earlier you said it really beautifully he had like pop to this bubble and it had somehow you’ve been released do you remember what you said done earlier rupturing a sort of feel like there’s so many I have to hold back on how graphic I’ve seen it from my I guess for like a third eye perspective if you would if you think of it from my biomedical perspective you really you really extracting something that is almost like a sister almost like I’m just at the unnatural or invasive growth that is really consuming resources and taking up space and you know stealing energy really so yeah that that care that’s needed to actually explore and find the location of these energetic not sis is another way but it’s not a metaphors but I think the reality is just that it said it’s very Surgical and away is very energetic surgical operation that says that’s nice way of putting it was it was like this you know this growth that had an energetic it wasn’t me August anything physical or tangible by any means but it was embedded deep in the tissues and in the aura and yeah so it it was an energetic manifestation and therefore had to be released energetically and the Tantrum massage course that I was taking was a highly focused and rooted in the principles the original principles the authentic principles of Tantra which is energy so for me that’s all that it took it took just an intense amount of energy work and eventually the same was dislodged but I truly believe I know you’ve probably seen such manifestations be released in a more violent and dramatic way and I have seen that as well but the the school that I studied under was very specific about the the healing and the releases needed to be in a harmonious and peaceful way a lot of dislodging which I know we can’t always control but a lot of these sort of erratic or violence dislodging of these energetic man manifestations can actually in bed the memory Keeper in the tissues in the aura and so it doesn’t fully leave the body in fact it kind of multiplies that right because now you got this traumatic experience from years ago that is coupled by this very violent reaction in the two almost couple with each other and create a new memory alright it’s a very sticky process and certainly I mean there’s there’s times when I feel like it’s ill-advised to for some people you need to have the financial and social support system setup to be able to take time out of your life to process more and more memories start to come up and like you said linger cuz they’re not going to hit it it creates a whole new Trainwreck energetic wiring and a high blood people who are who are doing the work to to create the Sacred Space in containers for that to be actually a beautiful a very beautiful viewing experience is the pike the positive beautiful transformative regenerative trentino transformative experience is actually so beautiful that that it’s easier to let everything just sort of go away in a lot of people that would maybe just do really limited kind of clinical session work with this kind of stuff and then just leave people to their own devices walking back onto the Subway or back to the cubicle and it just isn’t it isn’t advisable so appreciate what you’re saying about that approach that approach in that style honoring that needs help thank you so much for that I’ve seen it to your rights like people that go in and for single sessions and went on and get on the subway it’s quite something and and there’s also you know courses are a tantra massage teachers that teach that actually encourage this like outbursts this screaming in this you know Barry outwardly release of certain memories are traumas and well I see I see the reason like the reasoning behind it I understand the logic behind it but I also don’t think that people really understand as you said this energetic networking that takes place that you know by by doing such acts such hourly ask such kind of violent acts that sits like I said you are coupling a traumatic experience with another traumatic experience kind of a thing and so it kind of a the more Whimsical and then you got to have a head I’ve had to learn to have some humor about this stuff from a greater sort of I guess like I asked for the ecology is is is when it’s kind of a a nerdy term that I like to use but to kind of make bring a little more lightness to it I actually just a thought about it a lot of people who are suffering and I certainly have been suffering for many years of just feeling very alone and you know what I did know about what happened to me which is only kind of scratching the surface was was so grotesque that I didn’t want to even talk about it cuz I feared alienation and you know being vs. Whole shame that that comes from being a Survivor and wanting to you know concealed the truth from yourself and others and even you know Psalm Isadora bless her heart do you know she is alleged to have taken her own life and she was one of the shining stars of the the Neo Tantra Sexual Healing movement and you know I read test Counts from her saying that she was afraid to open up about her history of abuse because who would love me you know and that curse is so profound him to feel like you have to be silent about it cuz you don’t you know if you would even be loved if people would be repulsed by that truth and just with that line of thinking no to wrap up this this and that I have is just that I think it’s a simple connect energetic economic question of if you want to use the word demons which is kind of mythological archetypal thing but but if you we all kind of have some reference point for that but I kind of feel like if it if these are so-called energetic parasites are demons and they’re just they’re feasting on you and a very depleted state where you don’t have the ability to you know to fight them off or release them or move them out of your field then it’s I could see them thinking from their perspective while it’s like there’s no competition here no one’s coming into love you more than we would just like to devour you so you know what you going to do about it and they’re just they’re doing their thing or that this is happening but when you bring in enough I like Amor a counterbalance their act pretty inside of your field with other human beings with the sort of angelic loving energy than their displaced by that love vibration and then the healing experience doesn’t have to be a deeper trauma but it requires like a higher amount and frequency of the love vibration so if that if I can you know the some guiding a guiding Point that’s that’s kind of my one of my conclusions about this and what you’re saying I’m glad that you know you brought that up because it’s such a it’s such a delicate thing not to make it worse than it already is cuz maybe it maybe you’re just let me know so I know there’s people out there who just could not they would probably melt down and probably become almost catatonic or maybe even just they would lose it and and they would have less of a grip on reality and on their you know just trudging through life trying to make it make a living and get by so hard work you know when you have someone guiding you through the process that says really skilled in such a thing then it can be a beautiful experience you know and a very lethargic experienced and almost Blissful and many ways to be able to transform something and transcend something that is you know horrible in the eyes of most and even in our eyes and to make it to come to a point where you could appreciate the experience understand the implications where it comes from why and how it propelled you forward in life and you know where it can lead you I feel is there’s nothing greater than and that it’s truly a gift at least it was for me about just even later instances in life of let’s save the very typical sort of Campus sexual assault and rape and all of it all of the different sexual assault perpetration Zone that Spectrum Austin if it leads someone into their power to become a crisis counselor or a self-defense instructor then it’s a new kind of well if I think it forces people psychologically to to make lemonade out of lemons you know and it fits it it’s certainly I mean I would there were other things I would rather be doing with my life and focusing you know 100% on this on this dimension of healing and and and helping people but we need more Sofia the First Responders to this issue so you know yeah it’s if I see what you’re saying about the just getting you into purpose and you know it’s it’s a scary thought but some people who were who were kind of in that I guess you like you’re saying about holding space being a little bit kind new age and kind of lacking definition it’s a lot of people will say Isabel will you chose to enter this family structure and you chose well in advance you know while you were in spirit form to come into this life and have these experiences so that you could be catalyzed share your gift we should be to kill people and I think there’s got to be some some truth to that that some of us if we can survive it and you know build the strength to become teachers and healers ourselves then we can really fight back in it in a healthy way so do you want to talk about more specifically what you were training entail building what you’re doing now and just how the sort of more than the mechanics of the procedures that you’ve been trained to do and that you’ve experienced then what people can understand about how tantra massage differs from other modalities of healing Bodywork as I mentioned that the very first course I took was this tantra massage therapist coursed through someone on to Tantra school so that really serves two purposes I actually didn’t go because I wanted to become a tantra massage therapist but it was the soonest course I could take and it was regarding tantra massage so for me I went and joined and I’m so glad I did so first and foremost it helps me to heal the last shred of what existed from my sexual trauma my previous sexual trauma which is amazing and of course it created a lot of clarity and realizations as well but secondly I walked away with a tantra massage therapist certificate as well and though I had not intended to really use it or offer it because it’s not something that is widely accepted or even legal in the United States unfortunately I did after sometime after the course I decided that this was something that I wanted to offer to others as well in addition to sports just changed my whole life changed everything changed everything I knew I knew to be true it changed everything I believed it’s opened my eyes to a whole new universe really and so for that reason and because in my mind it was an answer to a prayer I really felt that I needed to stay the course and stick stick on this path that I really needed to dive into these teachings and and continue with the learning so after this tension massage therapist course I actually came back and I closed my business which was quite a dramatic action on my part really really yeah you do. It was not an easy decision of course I I I did actually trying to sell it because it was a thriving business it was very busy and it offered a unique service it was actually in the in the realm of Rehabilitation and healing chronic pain naturally so that is my original backgrounds of speak so it there was a high need for it you know and I I was initially thought you know I’ll just put it up for sale but these things don’t happen so quickly there’s quite a process that you have to go through and you know the longer I held out for the perfect fire so long I was prolonging my my path the next out the Future these teachings and these things that I wanted to learn more and more about so for me after a couple of months of trying to sell it I just said you know it’s not going to be fun it’s not going to be pleasant it’s scary as heck but I’m just going to close it oh I liquidated everything closed it and ever since then I have been taking course after course after course and really focusing on my spiritual life and my spiritual practice after the therapist course after closing my business and tying up all the Loose Ends I then went on to to become a yoga teacher certified yoga teacher a certified tantra massage teacher because I wanted to offer Retreat two people to couple two singles similar to The Retreat that I had experienced I’m and I also became a meditation teacher as well so that’s been my last few years well that’s amazing yeah that’s these are the kind of success stories that really do a lot to ask but she you know sometimes country gets a weird smell media kind of thumb presentation and they’re certainly if there’s actually a lot of surprised that people might be surprised but in in India there’s a lot of extreme legislation even against what’s become a prolific so it is no pattern of of what we what we would call Black Magic and you know the more sort of evil quote spectrum of of from which doctors and just you know really actually anti-black magic supplies that criminalized Tantra in a very real way and I think it’s sad because it’s been both in the West End in the East the the patriarchal forces have driven the goddess worship aspect and they only worship aspect very underground and very you know out of accessibility and so the more patriarchal and more serious just people using the mantras for Trident love spells and even political candidates getting busted for Consulting with these quote God men the word using Tantra Mantra to get them elected into you know shamanic Lee poison their other competitors and stuff so the more we have these really beautiful Redemptive stories of people like you actually having massive profound transformation and bringing back the glory of of a more. You know you could say goddess sent to your door Shakti centered approach to this that that the global PR campaigns it really is you know at least I know before I jumped into this course of my initial course I thought about it like everybody thinks about it you know it’s cuddle parties it’s sexual it’s all about sex it’s it’s similar to Kama Sutra you know it’s unfortunately gotten away from its original authentic spiritual roots and been modernized and adopted so much today and then even gone in the direction of black magic you know it’s it’s just it’s so distorted and too many people don’t realize it initially Tantra was you know this whole and complete comprehensive spiritual system that touched on many things so it touched on astronomy and astrology and energy and Universal forces and purification and living a clean and healthy and Pure Life and meditation and yoga and relationships tantric relationships and what that meant marriage Life Death first pregnancy and complete system where there are authentic and original text that reference all of these things that make up our universe with explicit and expressive teachings on how to manage your life in a spiritual way and unfortunately I don’t know how but over the years over the centuries it’s got introduced to being something sexual so I think it’s important to note that Contra is so much more it’s a system of evolution it can literally take a person from A to Z regardless of what a looks like for you whether you’re you know like me and you who are trying to heal who are survivors of sexual trauma or traumatic experience generally or someone who know just looking for something more in Life or someone who’s looking to have a better relationship or marriage like it could literally just take you from A to Z regardless of where the starting wages yeah you doing it and then I think the the way that that we can have our cake and eat it too as far as the the sexuality piece which I like someone said this to me once you know it’s a kind of absurd that over representation of a sexuality part in the west you know I says westerners have encountered eastern time show where sexuality was more integrated into a whole system like you said a more holistic macro perspective and micro perspective on just a fractal energetic nature of the universe and life and creative forces and just balancing masculine and feminine energy that sexuality is not excluded it’s not over in the size and it’s sort of just imbalance with everything so there wouldn’t be distorted and sort of bloated in a in a healthy kosher but in a culture like we know that the dominant Western Paradigm of sex negativity in the sort of post Victorian repressive even puritanical attitude of sex phobia negativity then it’s the first the second chakra of the West is the one that’s most how to balance the most wounded so that’s kind of where the vacuum brushes to the energy of country Russia’s there and that can be a good thing or bad thing but but the simplest way is good to me was just said hey you know the second the sex chakra is one slice 1/7 of the of the pie of the chakra system so you can’t you have to treat every chakra in the country system of learning about our energetic Anatomy that you have to give equal attention and purification and activation to all of those parts and then you will find that the lower chakras really energized the higher chakras in the higher chakras really inform the activities that you know that we’re driven to do so it’s a it’s a good it’s a tune-up you know it’s a good tune-up when you get it off blowing right it is so true so true cool this is something that I don’t I don’t see being addressed as often as I like and I would just love to get your thoughts on this what I feel is going to be the future of once once we get enough of our survivor you know Ken more up and running with this material and more you know I’m powered then eventually I can kind of see that we’re going to be called to apply these modalities in various ways to address the problem in in prevention and treatment of the actual perpetrators in that could I could see that involving you know people that go in and do prison chaplain work and bring yogurt you know into psychiatric prisons and juvenile sexual perpetrator programs in there you know so many places where there are social workers in criminal justice officials and you know think tanks and ngos and operating all over the world special in places where there’s war-torn extreme violation happening of you know it’s just there’s so many places where if there were a ton of bricks or a task force that we would be deployed to actually on both sides he will the survivors in keep survivors to heal each other and then get the perpetrators working on clearing them each other out and and everybody can then we can weak as a species we can move Beyond this sort of infection of the soul in I’m just going to throw to find people who who have a forward-thinking attitude about this and I’m curious if you’ve given much thought to that sort of dimension of you know this the applications for treatment and prevention of perpetrators and we can just demonize them forever and just pretend they don’t exist and put them in the shadows cuz that just makes it worse right perpetrators by demonizing them you know so there’s certainly a healing that needs to take place and I think that we need to have a bigger broader perspective about our soul contracts in our soul purposes you know is you mentioned earlier that we all whether you believe in reincarnation or not we all come to this particular human life in this particular human body with karmic baggage you know we all come here to live out our previous or current Karma so it’s it’s much bigger than just you know this human being is a bad human being and therefore he’s done something bad or she’s done something bad and you know they need to be demonized and punished it’s it if we could sort of educate Humanity on the principles of Tantra which is energy which is karma which is you know Universal forces which is reincarnation imagine what a different world it would be we would have an entirely different understanding as to why things happen and how people become who they become or why they’ve taken certain actions so in terms of healing perpetrators or offering a long-term solution to rectify this ongoing and kind of issue that keeps it seems to be getting worse more than it seems to be getting better I think for one we need to start from the ground up we need to start with children need to start with our young are use my my teacher is coming on. He has actually a vlog on his YouTube channel and he talks about you know should we bring Tantra into schools when you tell that to the most the the common the modern person they’re going to say absolutely not where I’m going to teach our children about sex but if we can come to a different realization that understanding about what answer truly is an absolutely imagine as a child understanding such things and and also having tools to manage our human existence are human life tools to manage our chakras tools to manage our emotions tool to imagine her to manager and control are mine and that’s really what Tantra can bring so for me it’s it’s let’s start their number one and number two to heal or to hell perpetrators or you know the the mentally ill I don’t you know it’s hard to say where the issue stems from butt certainly you could bring Tantra modalities such as yoga or meditation to the prison system or to the psychological realm or the mental treatments definitely it could help for sure nobody has to be doomed whether you’re a Survivor or perpetrator there’s always time and tools to change so as a Survivor you feel like who’s going to love me and it’s a perpetrator you’re feeling who’s going to love me I’ve done terrific thing right who’s going to love me and so the idea of being able to transform yourself and become a good PR person is almost Beyond your realm and as a Survivor it’s like who’s going to love me this has happened to me you know I’m kind of going into a little bit of this wounded sort of mentality we’ve we’ve got kind of a similar issue but at two ends of the spectrum exactly exactly and then who wins at the end of the day it is like the word I mean some people don’t like the word demons and I had to you know I love her and she was like can we just call him scomi’s or something less aggressive grotesque and yummy I think Gremlins are at 1 am? A tantric Ayahuasca Shaman friend of mine would he would just like to call Don V call somebody on Friendly’s so we’re not loving ourselves not loving each other not figuring out how to bring love to where it’s needed most to the you know that the deepest wounds then then there’s no competition and you know really we have no we almost have no right to lament this crisis if we’re not willing to step up and bring the sun where you know literally where it does the light where the sun don’t shine is what it usually comes down to an important call to action for people who are her doing this work I’ve met you on social worker two are integrating this and then you know what you’re saying about the child development and the schooling at I know Laurie handlers is one of my heroes in his face and she comes from a she’s got a podcast and use one of the most prominent features I believe in that the modern movement and she had to interview with her a while back and cheese it has a background with like really high-level business organization doing the working at one really high level of public policy projects and corporate kind of don’t you call it just management Administration and management of social organization and so she when we were talking it was very no-brainer to her about how you could roll this stuff out where you know the sexuality education doesn’t have to start with the sexual anatomy and the reproductive organs in the act of sex it really when she’s she’s had guest on talking about Teen Tantra in school workshops and people who do like a preschool level approach which is just all about sensation and energetics and consent and sharing in becoming a real master of your emotional landscape in your body and that’s really the prerequisites to be a conscious caring compassionate sensitive a human being that win at the appropriate time of sexual development later in life you’ve actually laid that Foundation to be very conscious and aware of yourself and then you won’t rely on alcohol with say to a to have to be inebriated to open up sexually and that’s you know the cause of so much abuse and Trauma so I think that any of this this the people who are are going to step up and in an adapt used to be called 264 of love where you would as a man or a woman to be really considered you know socially Adept you would be learning to do flower arrangement and working with you know archery and Metallurgy and poetry and so many different balancing of masculine and feminine energy so that by the time you actually we’re getting aroused and turned on and wanted to get it on you would be such a beautiful multi-talented just Renaissance person not so yeah that’s amazing kit will I’m so glad that they were able to cover a lot of the stuff and just extend the conversation and you know we’re about an hour or so if you want it feel free to share any extra thoughts and words of wisdom and then certainly all of the ways that people can be in touch with you and and connect with you so I guess I’d like to maybe just briefly describe tantra massage cuz again it’s one of those things that’s sort of lot of misconceptions regarding tantra massage again it kind of goes more towards the erotic sexual sensual side of things and went and her massages is done properly and with full integration of energy meaning is an energetically based massage then that it’s you’ll soon discover it’s actually not a sexually based or erratically based massage it’s actually built and renowned to provide deep intrinsic healing healing at the energetic level healing at an unprecedented level healing those embryos or the seeds does energetic seeds that have been implanted in our Aura from a lifetime of experiences and situations so it’s really quite a powerful form of Bodywork and healing should be at the Forefront of the the goal I guess I think it’s important to just kind of describes that’s that the purpose tantra massage should be rooted in the foundations and the fundamental components of Tantra which is energy-based and it it needs to abide by certain laws of Tantra so energetic laws for sure but continents right so sexual continents are preserving the Sexual Energy should be at the Forefront of a authentic tantra massage and yeah it’s so for people that are perhaps listening to this podcast in and may be seeking out tantra massage as a healing modality for themselves just some things to keep in mind when you’re searching for a practitioner or therapist to assist you along your healing Journey you want to make sure all they say that the person is skilled and well-trained and that they’re incorporating fundamental principles of Tantra into the tantra massage session so I think that’s as far as how to maybe touch bases with me if it’s something you have questions you’re interested more in learning about tantra massage and what it can bring to you or if it’s the modality that is right for you then I can be reached at energy Alchemy. Me so energy energy Alchemy Alchemy. Me is my website and you can read some description is an articles and whatnot about what exactly is tantra massage and how I personally conducted course that can vary from practitioner to practitioner and I guess last words really bad would just be that there’s there’s always light there’s always a way there’s always something on the other end where you are there you know no clothes Road no one is doomed whether you’re a victim a Survivor a wounded warrior whether you’re a predator or someone who has perhaps puts a person in a situation where sexual abuse was taking place if it doesn’t matter like you there are solutions and there are ways to transform your life and to move forward and a productively healthy successful spiritual loving way so in my mind it’s some no one’s doomed there’s always a way and you just have to be willing to take those next steps there is obviously you do need to be diligent you do need to be dedicated you need to understand it’s going to be challenging it’s not just you know this lovely seamless no way past but I can stay from personal experience and maybe you can to that it’s well worth it what’s on the other side is beyond anything we can buy them and truly amazing truly blissful absolutely yes will beautifully said in great words of wisdom and dime I’m super motivated to coming to this world again unrecognizable as it to it’s enough for my former life I still I believe that anyone is listening to this who is a Survivor even if you know there’s a sort of paradox which is that you know I realized it’s many years ago and it still be kind of my my final response to no to this to wrap this up as yesterday at one point I realized it was really disheartening I realize you don’t even if I could heal and from the trauma and overcome this and and not have it bother me so much or feel like such a dream I was I would still probably never forget it like you can’t put press a button that deletes these files from memory forever you’re going to always have to be shaped by the memory of it but that the more you eat the more of this work that you do tantra massage is it just a great way of looking at it mean if you are doing giving those and receiving those that you know as many days and hours of the week as you can then there is so much light at the end of that tunnel tunnel it’s ongoing Discovery more and more like but you will never actually forget that any of the stuff ever happened you just have a different way of engaging with the energetically and it won’t feel like this black hole every time you have to get sucked into it a trigger of the trauma and put the flip Beauty the thing that motivates me you know I’m beyond that seems like I can never really Escape it escape the knowledge of it but you can’t have the hope and I believe that if we really correct this and we really feel this on it on a world a global level in a general you know with it within the next few hopefully Generations then we will come back if we choose to and reincarnate and then we’ll get a fresh start and we will I think it’s so important to do this work now so that we can be more statistically assured that when we come back into another womb it will be through a nun raped and unmolested body and it when we will be born and live lives there free from that fear and that that trauma so let’s do it no better reason to stay happy and healthy as long as we can to do this work and and be given I don’t know I don’t know what’s in the afterlife but I know that if we come back to earth we can directly affect how the net out our next life actually hands out if we do this karmic clearing work now so yeah that’s that’s the spiritual call to action and thank you so much Tiffany has been great chatting with you and I wish you all the best with all your endeavors and hopefully you know anyting that you have to inform myself in the future please let me know I’ll be happy to have you back to share any new offerings or if you have any creative works that you want to promote then fell means love to hear about it so yeah have a wonderful wonderful rest of your Sunday and will hopefully be in touch again soon thank you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to see me and improving the podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been a tantra Punk. Com Thomas Day

Best Practices for Male Sexual Healers with Charlie Glickman PhD TPP108

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Charlie Glickman picIn this episode I’m blessed to be joined by Charlie Glickman, an acclaimed sexuality educator, sexual healer, and much more. His insights into both the glory and peril of sexual healing are at times heart warming and at times deeply chilling. Of all the conversations I’ve had on and off the podcast about these issues, this is one of the most raw and real.  He graciously holds space for me to vent and seek his guidance and offers an exemplary demonstration of how he’s able to be a masterful healer of healers and a teacher of teachers.

About Charlie:

Charlie Glickman PhD is a sex & relationship coach, a certified sexuality educator, and an internationally-acclaimed speaker. He’s certified as a sexological bodyworker and has been working in this field for over 20 years. His areas of focus include sex & shame, sex-positivity, queer issues, masculinity & gender, communities of erotic affiliation, and many sexual & relationship practices. Charlie is also the co-author of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners. Find out more about him on his website or on Twitter and Facebook. For Charlie’s sex coaching services, visit Make Sex Easy.

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear beloved welcome to Township Point podcast episode number 108 I’m very excited to be talking with Charlie Glickman he is a sex and relationship coach out of Seattle Washington and has an amazing blog I was checking on his website and seeing that to he also provides coaching services for sexuality Educators helping them to develop curricula and start your business and a whole lot more so I’m really excited that to know that there’s that kind of mentorship opportunity in the world and so looking forward to hearing all about it if you want to start a Charlie would you like to tell us about your personal life history and background that led up to your playing the roles that you play now in the sexuality education field I started off as a sex educator actually back in 1989 when I was in college I came out as queer and I started doing a campus Outreach LGBT Outreach for the other students and as a man doing this work especially in the years before we had any kind of treatment for HIV of course anytime I did an Outreach against somebody would ask me about safer sex or they would ask me about HIV so I figured okay I have to learn about this but when you are talking to people about safer sex well then you have to talk with them about a communication in negotiation and once you start doing that people start asking you how to give a better blow job or how do I tell my boyfriend how I want him to touch me and I realized with sexuality that everything is interconnected you really can’t just talk about one piece in isolation in for a number of years after that I worked volunteering at some different agencies in the San Francisco Bay Area I did say for sex Outreach I was a Rape Crisis counselor but it wasn’t until I got hired at goodbyes gracians which is be a premier women friendly sex positive toy store and I worked there for a number of years your while I was there I went back to grad school I thought I wanted to be a professor so I doubt a PhD in sex education and then realize that wasn’t what I wanted to do and when I left Good Vibrations in 2013 to go on tour for my book The Ultimate Guide to prostate pleasure that was when I stepped into coaching as a full-time thing you before that it had always been part of my work as an educator but that was when I stepped into it full-time and it’s been an amazing experience and I think a lot of my journey here I needed to grow into this I couldn’t have done this when I was younger now I’m not saying that other people can’t do it when they’re younger but for me on my trajectory I was 43 when I stepped into coaching so I’ve been a sex educator my entire adult life but the coaching is more recent and I find it incredibly fulfilling I I love helping individual couples polygroups learn how to overcome their sexual difficulties and I love knowing that right now at this very second somebody is having a better orgasm because of something that I taught them you know I and it makes me really happy to see how the field has grown in the last few years there when I started out you know in 1989 it was possible for one person to know everybody else in the field cuz there weren’t that many people and these days I meet people at conferences or workshops or when I travel and it’s amazing how many folks are doing this work in it and it’s about time because the world desperately needs healthy relationship to sexuality and this is one way how we we get there we are glad you like I guess it’s the last piece is that some of it for me is that I’m always exploring my own relationship to my sexuality and so working as a coach it gives me an additional motivation to take workshops or read books or do some research it’s it’s very much fuel my professional work is really fueled by my personal interests animals people in the field I think I could say the same thing about them yeah it’s very so diverse in its I guess it’s kind of like I was just at the auto shop with this family-owned auto shop that I’ve been going to for over 10 years and I asked him how do you guys keep up with all the changes in automobile automotive technology and they said we just luckily the guy YouTube now but you know they they just sort of figure it out so as all of the sexualities, Blossom and diversify into. Infinite forms it must be very exciting at to feel to have a professional budget to stay abreast with new identities and new practices and rediscovered ancient practices and it’s one of the challenges working in this field really anything having to do with sexuality is that we’ve lost so much information and it’ll be interesting to see what happens as the information age takes over but there have been sexologist and writers and researchers whose work has been destroyed and so we have to ReDiscover this over and over again and end so this is an interesting Arrow because we’re keeping this information in some ways more more thoroughly than we used to so is it what areas do you find most of Interest are you most passionate about I guess the prostate is one thing we can definitely go into cuz you just did that book but other brother are there areas that you feel that your top wheelhouse Shore kind of thing I do a lot of work with people who want to explore how to be more present in their bodies how to experience pleasure without dissociating or checking out how to tell a partner what they want me so much of my work is about how do I identify what you desire and how to talk about it with a partner so that you can get it again and it seems that seems like such an easy thing to say but I don’t know anybody in the world who hasn’t faced challenges with that at one point or another I also do a lot of work helping folks Explorer aspects of their sexuality that they didn’t know they were going to enjoy it so sometimes that might involve a G-spot clay or anal player prostate massage of those are some of my favorites because there are aspects of sexuality that people hear a lot about but they don’t necessarily know what to do and they’re also ways of having sex where a little information makes a huge difference in terms of your experience I love teaching people new ways to have orgasms read the last thing I’ve really been enjoying lately I have a workshop called somatic Sexual Healing where I take some of the somatic practice has been I’ve learned along the way and I adopted them to fit within the scope of practice that therapist use and so therapist can use them if their best can touch a client and they can do some of these exercises are therapists who choose not to can also died a couple through the exercise in and what I love about that is it’s one thing for me to tell you oh you know you should tell your partner how you want them to touch you it’s different when you have the experience of trying to put it into words and then talking about that and in real time so I love teaching therapist how to get better at supporting people sexualities it’s it’s long overdue I think absolutely and this is very important space to be developing in the policy and legality space to so do you have experience at all and I sort of political activism sensurround bringing more Consciousness and awareness around healing touch and professional full body healing what not fair it’s always a tricky dance because nobody workers are taught you know raping and looking away when the client is turning over and therapists are being told no touch at all and I understand the reasons for it but you know there’s therapist you won’t even shake their clients hands and we already live in such a touch phobic society that when you add that to it I think it creates even more disconnection the factor there is who is this touch for their what I’m doing somatic work with my clients to touch is for them not for me and I think that’s really the key to being clear in your ethics around it if it was this for what is the intention behind it if the intention behind an exercise is to satisfy my own desires well then that’s not ethical at all that’s not why my clients come to me but if the intention behind the touch is to help somebody learn something new about embodiment or learn something new about their erotic experience that’s a very different situation and I I would love to live in a world where more people understood the distinction between those two things well yeah I like the to recommend that people learn how to love themselves and others by trained professional lovers who that’s what they do all day everyday because they live up to your meme it seems like a no-brainer but we’re a long way from having sexual Arts be as is cherished and permitted is as martial arts but martial arts you know you sign a waiver that says you could be killed on professional who’s ethics are not always very clear either I actually think anybody who is doing Hands-On work would do well to take Betty Martin to work shop like a pro you can find it at Betty Martin. Org she is a sexological bodyworker and she has developed this amazing Workshop that helps practitioners understand how to be more clear in in the intention and I say that because I have heard too many stories from client students about teachers and practitioners who cross boundaries or push too fast or pressured somebody into doing something that they weren’t really ready for and that’s a real problem yeah so this is kind of a deep study of mine I’m in the process of developing a very novel practice and I have all of the the reaching out to mentors and elders and other practitioners that I’m kind of narrowed it down to just like a doctor wouldn’t want to be doing a breast exam without a nurse present you should you probably if you’re smart and you’re a man is mainly if your man you you should probably not want to be in a situation where there could ever be a possibility for a dispute or discrepancy and what was you know conducted the conduct and the agreements around the conduct and the response to feed back around what’s happening so we’re having very clear guidelines for the container of sexological Bodywork session all touch is one way from the practitioner to the client the practitioner stays fully clothed and other practitioner uses gloves for any genital or anal touch and and that also goes a long way towards making sure that the container is held really solidly because especially the one way Touch by touch and fully clothed that’s not something that works for all modalities that’s not going to work necessarily for country has for example but that’s another way that right yeah well thank you for that definitely is nice to know that there’s reference points for best practices and what would you say then are some qualities maybe some dye self diagnostics are things that people are aspiring to be on this path or maybe they already have a practice and they’re listening to this and they kind of aren’t aren’t first or or contracted with the sexual logical bodyworker at the Cole protocol let’s say where I mean I’ve I’ve read some of the benefits of that those documents and they’re very solid and very strict and you know to hold that title in to represent that training you have to really be an Integrity policy against for example if if people were to with or without formal training or certification want to be a friend or a lover or someone who is if they if they couldn’t afford that kind of work but they know that well this something really magical happens when you massage a G-spot or prostate for you no more than a few seconds really with a certain quality of attention and magical things can happen that are very healing and in if people start to discover that that is one of many experiences to be explored in a therapeutic contest against the question will be how how would internally what process should have should a provider kind of go through you know staying focused breathing is are there are there I guess who would you say is like a habits to get into mental habits and physical habits to to really solidly bill that that that container in that quality of it being one directional in it and like you said who is the touch for just maintaining that no discipline I think there’s a couple of things one is I think it’s absolutely true that lovers and partners can provide some incredible healing touch but I think it’s also important for people who are are coming from that lover space to not to not overextend what they can do and what I mean by that is that if you’re if you’re somebody’s lover you can definitely bring the nurturing healing touch to your partner but it’s not going to be the same thing as if they were working with a practitioner not not better or worse it’s just different and I say that because when you’re when you’re with somebody who you have a personal relationship with it’s really easy for things to get money because your own personal desires are going to start coming into play one of the things that happens as folks go through their training at least many trainings is learning to set your own erotic energy aside or maybe not erotic energy but your own erotic and needs aside so that you can be in service and it’s very it’s not impossible but it’s very difficult to come from a place of genuine service when you have that kind of personal connection with someone write your own agenda shows up so that’s one thing I think another thing is getting really clear on how you talk about things and how you communicate about things because you can only take somebody as far as you’ve gone yourself and something I have learned about sexual communication is that almost everybody thinks that they’re better at it than they actually are there’s times when I don’t tell my partner what I want or I go along with something that I’m not really a fully yes to because I don’t feel like getting into it with you everybody does that sometimes but really didn’t clear on your where where is your shadow and where is your motivation and am I coming you are you coming at this experience because of some of your own shadow and it’s funny because your people often say that money changes everything and it gets in the way I got to say when I started working as a practitioner and getting paid to do some of this it actually made my personal relationships much cleaner because I was able to see the distinction between the equal exchange of lovers which is different from the equal exchange of practitioner client and if you’re my client all of my focus is on you it’s not about what I want is not about what I need if I need to get some emotional support around my experience I take that to one of my colleagues I’m because getting paid makes a clear Container makes for a clear boundary in a personal relationship it’s really easy to tell somebody oh you know I want to do this thing because I want to take care of you but there might also be a motivation in there of I want to get laid or I’m feeling lonely and I want some connection or I just read about this new thing and I’m really excited to show it off this this new technique it gets a little it gets a little muddy sometimes your partner with also be sort of most often feeling guilt or obligation to reciprocate you know did they might offer a friend to shoulder rub but really most of the time professional body workers will say hey maybe you should go be somebody else to get your frozen shoulder fixed because I would really like for this to not feel like work so it’s really important especially for the number of times I have heard a hoax of any gender but particularly women saying things like oh yeah so this guy I was dating he said that this was going to be you know what this healing experience but it really just felt creepy a lot of men do that and I think it’s important for us to shift out of that that’s important gas so that this it’s such a slits someone as one of my friends said sex is the slipperiest of slopes and it certainly is so yeah part I feel I’ve been in it I will consider myself an activist around this issue and so yeah you’re and I appreciate your insights in and being straightforward that’s really the the the the vibration of the energy or the experience that is the absolute polar opposite of the intention of making someone feel safe and supported in and healed and nurtured so I definitely want to Explore More of the what factors could be mitigated around that creepiness vibration and comes up and I guess took to launch that that inquiry I would say I had said I feel like it’s a guess but it’s it it’s maybe it’s an assumption but in my experience it’s it’s been spot-on and I feel like it’s protected me but to have if you were male having a female nurse out-of-sorts if not a nurse practitioner by training a person with experience in a modality where they have the they have an awareness of what’s Happening they know what to expect and how to respond and they’re being a very much especially if you’re a man and you’re doing Hands-On pelvic touch work your focus is in that realm and you’re queuing into that so deeply so you wouldn’t even know what the facial expressions are happening on the person you wouldn’t maybe even here if they’re murmuring things that are reason you no red flags to back off and so to not have somebody there to relay information into be doing the the Care at at the top half of the body either way I see it I think it’s a real other just it to Institute that is as a as a policy or is a best practice seems like it would eliminate a lot of even amongst things lovers in in in addition to practitioners and clients but just that the I’m curious if you have if you have any case studies or anecdotal knowledge about how yeah but the people that I don’t know another reason why the practitioner client relationship is different than the love of relationship because you’re absolutely right in my personal life if I’m having sex with somebody there are times when I’ll be so focused on my experience that I might miss some of that important information but when I’m in practitioner mode tracking what my hands are doing I’m tracking their body the breathing what they’re saying what they’re energetic field is doing and it’s because my erotic energy is not getting in the way the same way that giving somebody a backrub because you’re a trained massage provider you’re paying attention to things in a very different way than giving some of the backrub because you know you’re trying to seduce them so maybe that’s part of the two so when you when you were saying that women have reported to you when lovers or infatuated friends or whatever the dynamic is when they come across as that you know what someone just said this to me recently A friend of mine who is a in the transformational festival movement and consider yourself part of the you no more conscious radical left and green sort of movement where there’s a lot of new age spiritual type people but she basically said you have people these guys are scary some of these spiritual guys are scarier than the the jocks and the bad boys out in the mainstream because at least you know what to expect from those guys but the spiritual guys will come up an inch in her where she said they try to you know get their use their woohoo to get in her womb you know so I think if somebody is is going to try to offer sexual healing for free I’m very skeptical of it I’m skeptical of it because it actually requires a deep level of training and it requires a really solid ethical container and honestly you know if somebody said to me you know oh well you have a you know you have a back injury I’ll spend two hours working on your shoulder and your back for free I would wonder what they were getting out of it and I think when I think there’s a lot of before I know that there’s a lot of men who will say oh you know I just love doing this I don’t need anything from it and I’ve known one or two guys were that’s been true but the majority of the cases that I know of there’s actually an agenda there and and unfortunately that makes it much harder for everybody because now it decreases trust and it means that somebody might be less likely to contact me or one of my colleagues because they’ve had this experience with some random dude at a festival dominates the Integrity of the whole field already of a provider relationship is it fine to keep since cleaner reminds me of one other thing that I think anybody who does this work or if he’s thinking about doing this work should also be familiar with is a how to deal with trauma because so many people are dealing with sexual trauma people of all genders and if you’re not ready to hold space for somebody moving through healing from trauma are not ready to do this one I unfortunately I find it I just assumed that everybody is a trauma Survivor because I’m wrong less often this is getting really deep in in in powerful yeah I am I guess I want to ask you now because these are if I just I just interviewed this woman he’s got a blood clot sluttygirlproblems and I’ve heard about just these cultural cliches pretty girl problems and pornstar girl problems instead of and it’s what we’re talking about is male sexual heater problems to sort of lament a little bit if you will open up a little bit and now there is a flip side to the dynamic that that we were just talking about which is the sort of stereotypical creepy woo Predator you know Festival guy who wants to use healing has a ruse to be a sex junkie you know her and sort of a telling a woman whatever she wants to hear or sort of using this social engineering pick up Artistry that is creepy because it’s manipulative in it’s not truly transparent and there’s a shadow of how many times this week the same lines were used it were used to know you’re the goddess of you know the perversion of of that divinization that Tantra is going for but you know so we have basically we’re pretty well-versed in understanding that you had a higher advanced level of being practitioners or or doing the stuff you know how to say as a way of life and then just even the common way people give young people though if they have any intuition they will sense that and hopefully be repulsed by it and hopefully have good friends around them to protect them especially if they’re on substances at a festival but having sort of covered that I would say now here’s the other flip side of that which is it there if you are a whatever whatever gender but we’ll just say mail for now for the purposes conversation it’s another issue to be outspoken as a Healer with whatever you know professional hat that you’re wearing or whatever boundaries or compensation schemes you might have within having let’s just say women want want to think they are the ones with the agenda there if they come up and say I just want to Healing I don’t want to be your to I don’t want to take you away from your work or put you into a monogamous relationship with guilt in and trap you with emotional manipulation so that I can parade around with you and you be my my man there’s also the shadow of the secrets of healing in an inappropriate manner where it’s it’s a it’s not the guy using the healing to get in the women’s pants it’s the woman using her trauma to get in the men’s in the man’s pants or in the man’s hands or in the man’s life and I’m wondering if that obviously this is could sound very anti-feminist or something but really it’s I want to be safe and protecting and understanding everybody so do you have any thoughts on that variation of that I’ve experienced more is when somebody is wanting wanting that kind of deep healing experience and rather than being willing to approach me as a provider you know they’ll flirt with me or the piano and and gets money that’s not it’s really muddy and I think there’s a lot of reasons for that and I hope that didn’t sound like oh yeah I’m so sexy these women are putting their that’s not what I mean but it’s happened a few times where somebody will try to engage me on a personal level when was there really wanting is my Professional Services and when I noticed that happening I’ve just developed a very easy response which is a hey you know so it sounds like what you’re looking for is search semi-professional offerings on I’d be happy to talk with you about that here’s my business card right because this festival or this party you know maybe one of us is Trunk or not sober in some other way or there’s no confidentiality because there’s people all around why don’t we schedule a Skype call to talk about what’s going on and how I can help because I do think you’re right there’s this new in the way that there are men who will present themselves as offering healing in order to get laid there are some women who will offer some kind of erotic energy in order to get the key you know this this isn’t restricted to that particular gender Dynamic but I see that’s most often in that way right so this is his sister sticky sticky territory so this isn’t until the next the next level of complexity of this conundrum really and I think you’ve already laid out good best practices of boundaries and everything you’re saying is just back to an important distinction and and holding up your your boundaries in in your professional Ethics in all circumstances and that’s commendable so you know I’ve definitely had times when I was not as practiced with it as I am now there’s not a lot of folks who are practitioners who were struggling with this and just know that everybody struggles with this to I mean your wisdom comes from experience and experience comes from messing up yeah and we can stand on the backs of giants who has fallen many times with her stumble but hopefully you’re not falling so so here’s the next level where he did it just gets even more tragically comedic fortunately but I’m sure we’ll find the Glorious way ship to navigate through so it’s a if I if I can piece this together it would be so when you become a highly skilled practitioner or experience than again not to say that in a egotistical way but it’s just a fact you know if you were you know I like to use the martial arts analogies I mean if you were if you were a black belt you should not be street fighting because you could seriously hurt people and they don’t even know what they’re up against they don’t know it’s not an equal match so you have to use your skill two of you don’t you just stop going to the bars so you know you just in the chits it’s so interesting me the curve of the better you are at violence if it’s in a traditional martial arts training contacts the less violence you will encounter in life because you have respect for the human body and mind Spirit soul excetera and there’s an interesting what I’m observing just personally in my own journey and what I’m observing certainly watching other people make these mistakes and just you know wincing sing oh I’m so glad I’m avoiding those those those negative circumstances so what that all that is to say that the level of discipline and sort of self vigilance that you have to have carrying yourself kind of holding onto the sacred you could if you believe it it’s sacred healing Divine energy or if it’s just methodical you know mechanical procedures with the hands and you know that whichever way you look at it the fact is you are a a a powerful healing force to be reckoned with by anybody’s heart anybody’s ego in anybody’s way of getting in you know how to getting into relationships or getting or hooking up for getting it on so being so in this world now the problem is you can’t just date people from this disability and mainstream are pornstars calls mainstream non adult performers civilians because they’re in a sort of separate now you know subculture secret society almost where they’re very open and not super neurotic about you know being naked in a lot of things kind of evaporate that you know change their Dynamic so this not to have it be a dating ever love line dating advice kind of show but I mean what what issues do you encounter and what wisdom and intelligence do you have around okay well how do you adjust date and how do you find two people as civilians I often tell people in the field right that it’s very difficult to date models because you’ve gotten to it a certain point in your own trajectory you is hard to find people who you can meet as equals and its importance to do that for your own safety yeah I’ve seen a lot of folks try to get involved with somebody who is more towards the muzzle end of the spectrum and and it’s difficult to coach your partner I have to admit I find so I often describe myself as a sex geek and the people who I resonate best live in my personal life as if my sexual partners are also sex games they don’t need to be a professional sex Geeks but they need to be sexy when I talk about sex Geeks the best comparison I have is you sex Geeks are to sex what food is our to food like the people who like to eat out of that food and where did this come from in this interesting combination in this new technique I learned I find for myself bed and if somebody isn’t operating at that on that plane out at that level then we we have a nun if relationship having said that at least in the professional sexy geek Circle and I see this also in Tantra circles are you looking specifically at male female dating there are more women looking for men than there are men looking for women so there is a gender imbalance there that can often be I can also be tricky and so you know I’ve known a number of female practitioners who have basically found Partners who had a lot of promise when they met and they had some coaching Dynamic to sort of get the guy fully up to speed and and again I don’t want that to sound arrogant but when you spend you know when you spend a few years thinking and talking about sex all the time you know if it becomes very difficult to then go back to what it was like before right yeah you really have to find people who can play at your level or you have to be willing to train somebody to that point I mean that’s the same if you are a tennis player right you’re going to have more fun playing with someone who’s at your level very similar so now here okay now if it couldn’t that then I appreciate all that good that’s and I under a lot of women who are evolving rapidly discovering their anatomy and having a deep relationship and using the Yoni eggs and the mirrors and doing Yoni steam baths and having Circles of work emitz it’s unbelievable how rapid the the cat is coming out of the bag with female sexual empowerment and how far back in the Dark Ages the masculine Paradigm is so there’s plenty of grow it’s a growth industry for men who are making producing the higher vibrational higher conscious higher-performing more heart and genital connected and mine connected men so that those the growing numbers of the oven light and sexually like women are able to actually solve that problem of finding equals as well so yeah this is a great time to be alive so now he then I guess I would say is if you don’t mind that I’m sort of hijacking this to make it into a coaching session for my own you know I think it’ll benefit everybody thanks yes so I’ve been thinking about me not basically since I’ve been on this path I have been almost completely celibate and there’s been very few times where I have felt safe that the energy that I’ve cultivated will be used wisely and respectfully and understood properly and not hoarded and and I’m sort of I mean it’s sad to say but if you end up becoming a woman’s God a woman’s father and daddy that she never had the first man to ever give her an orgasm or any form of really sustained sexual pleasure and and to Enlighten them to the experience of Eternal multi-orgasmic tantric Bliss the first visual snapshots with third eye of the Divine Realms that’s a big shoe for the next guy you know so it’s understandable and that’s not being egotistical but that is what you’re supposed to be able to bring to the bedroom you know or to the table of sex work session and healing work session so did the trouble the 10th of the male sexual healer problems trouble that I have been avoiding you know for years is just that when I discover that there is is an addictive tendency that is not matured through through lots of work you know you can’t expect that if you done a bunch of discipline work you know that you work hard to achieve and you just want to say cast your pearls among swine that would be you know mixing metaphors that I don’t want to evoke necessarily but there is some truth to that discernment and in a word with so now the way that I’ve had two I guess conceived of not because I do not want to be a celibate monk I mean in so yes I’m doing you know Outreach to people more on my level and if it that can be what’s the word and another one of my bread with no problem for me is it I don’t really like the Marquis De Sade dungeon aesthetic that comes from Nazi Germany and other forms of I mean I don’t want to I don’t want to discredit or put anyone down but it just is not my cup of tea to be in in the in the sort of stereotypical BDSM Kink dungeon environment where it’s probably better that I go there then I go to a singles bar to get connected with people having attracted to it’s probably cuz they will be sex Geeks they would be interested in ecstatic experiences and they’ve probably been pretty I know I’ve been through all this but my the women who come into my life who I am attracted to who feel like they they would have been there like messiah’s of the goddess or there is sort of you know the synchronicity around it is somehow blessed and a higher level than just you know me hitting on them or something you know that gets a friend is recommended there’s a there’s a magical process of of of courtship that you know there’s different degrees of how how house how she for how sloppy meeting the for the first time was vs. if you meet in a really complex constellation of synergy and in synchronicity then there’s more Merit and I kind of have this hierarchy of of women in my life where yeah that was the one that I wasn’t chasing because I was really horny for her that was the one that came in a totally blessed and sacred sort of pathway so I’m just kind of venting a little bit but that but what what all of these all of this Peril has sort of boiled down to is is miss my sense that I feel like and this is where becomes a question for you is it this in it kind of a kind of breaks the pattern of everything we set up to this point and that the agreement that I have with you so it’ll be a gift to to get this feedback so it’s it’s it’s like this because I do not want to take on the karma and baggage of an unhealed non practitioner woman I am going to insist that before we have unbridled wild passionate intercourse that either me or someone else has got to do to take out the trash so to speak from all of her previous relationships all of her daddy issues and if we gets if we get through enough of that perhaps some family curses and past life issues and that’s where it gets more esoteric and more you know what’s the word the clinical Medical Science doesn’t doesn’t drive with all that terminology but that you know where I’m at with this stuff so I feel like what it what do you what would it what comes to your mind on the ethics of a man who says because I know that I don’t want to absorb all of this negative karmic energy that’s embedded in you you know I’m going to insist that the healing the sexual healing work is a prerequisite before we can fuck you know you see what you’re saying is part of what you’re saying is you are not wanting to take on if that’s not wanting to take somebody else’s healing work on it as part of a personal relationship but it doesn’t have to be me who does it just has to it’s just a job that has to be done you know it’s you can’t just jump on my lap and start fucking me because I wouldn’t be fucking you I’d be fucking in 20 I have your last boyfriends and your father I think the way that I would approach that it would be more around asking somebody you know so tell me a little bit about your own Sexual Healing Journey tell me a little bit about you know how you got to where you are what what are some of the things you’ve done to explore this cuz yeah everybody has everybody is baggage it’s really just a question of what is your relationship to it and if it feels to you like somebody is is not ready right if it feels to like it’s new just where where they are in their trajectory isn’t a good match for you you I think a good way to say that would be you know it so it sounds like you and I are in some pretty different places in our life right now and I don’t think we’re a good fit that’s that. The other flavor of that is you know it’s really it’s because of the work that I do you know I’m constantly I’m always doing my own learning my own growth around this and it’s really important for me that anybody in my life or anybody who I’m in a relationship with is also doing the same so if this is going to be more than a casual thing you know it’s important from me or I would feel more comfortable if you were on your own Sexual Healing how far you had a therapist or usual you know we’re doing a meditation practice or whatever it is and you know and the reason for that is that you know I’m a tantra guys right there in my my website right I’d like to go deep and that means that we need a really solid container and sometimes that means having some back up cuz I thought that might be more how I would personally approaching but that’s that’s just my style my communication style beans in that direction in the way I was characterizing my unfiltered sentiment was communicated in the moment so I appreciate you exactly filtering it in and that was those are very good dimensions and what I would have actually been doing as a practice is saying referring women out to female tantricas who if they can afford it or they can even if any of them if they can work out some arrangement of apprenticeship or a paid client practitioner relationship it’s basically in order to enter my body in order to access the offerings of my body Temple you will have to get a stamp of approval from my sort of Council of priestesses who are working to protect me from political disaster I like to operate at a really intent in a really intense way and the best way to do that safely is to have a support structure yeah and like you said because we have to assume her or it will I’m going to I’m going to add that level of urgency to it that yeah we should assume that too if a person hasn’t has not experienced physical sexual violation as a child there’s still Trauma from unsatisfactory sexual experiences that cause contraction in the body usually virginity is not a high sophistical probability of being very well designed as it as a ceremony and just walking out into the world and being assaulted by Billboards were just in a soup of trauma so the the responsibility to when you open someone up with your blasting them with really high quality purified loving energy and you have the sexual stamina to get it where it needs to go all throughout the astral body then you’re going to cause these fractures and those pain parts of the solar going to finally get released and that can really discombobulated somebody so that they can’t go back to the cubicle on Monday morning know so do you want to talk a bit about Aftercare and what to best practices are for people who are getting into this trauma healing territory just making sure that the things feel safe and complete and one of the things that I think is relevant there is that when we have a big expansion of any kind of sexual emotional in a whatever it is sometimes afterwards we have a contraction and it’s it’s no different if it’s no different than a fundamental level between waking up after a really big workout or going for a long hike and feeling a little bit sore but I call it a shame over it’s like a hangover but it can it can but it can really feel like it’s this process and so one of the things that you can do is part about your character is checking to see you is my partner having a shame over or do they need any care is there anything I can do to support them through this because you know if you’re going to do something for somebody has a big expansion and you’re not taking steps to take care of the contraction that might happen after that then you’re not taking care of them and if you’re not taking care of your partner then let’s just admit that you’re not doing it because you are taking care of them but you’re doing it for your own reasons then that’s where we get back to the creepy thing cuz now as you’re saying this time I’m literally visualizing the pattern of these creepy Encounters of a woo woo guys at festivals let’s say where is probably where the where the most it’s like the wild west of sexual energetic boundary violation and transgression that’s actually you know extremely traumatizing and I’m hearing about it more and more and it said and it all goes back to the The Summer of Love then you know things default into debauchery if you have pretty quickly on Haight Street at that time unfortunately because the drugs changed but you know that’s a whole other Vibe with you on about what you just said is it on so the if we have this Aftercare Ark the sexual healing experience Ark that involves after care and it’s not just this Spike of a penetrative intercourse exchange that last 4 minutes or or can last for hours whatever you know it’s it but the thing is if a man is behavior is it’s a very stereotypical sort of cliche thing is like oh he he was sweet-talking me and get filling me with pillow-talk for however long it took to get laid and have sex and then she disappeared and he wouldn’t even look at me or talk to me and that was so hurtful and harmful and that is in violation of the sense of understanding that when you open the door of orgasm and you bring love and you know pleasure and passion there you’re just beginning a journey with their soul really in so if you don’t take responsibility for the Aftercare and in a manner that you’re describing and and having that sense then that’s probably the the thing to watch out for so may I ask the one about the about this the other day and she said I said what what what could make it better at what would how would you improve these guys who are doing the stuff in and she’s like well I would like them to to tell me what their expectations for follow-up are you know what is it going to mean afterwards and how what can I expect from you and if what can I expect from you is nothing right people will say they’ll follow up or they’ll do something and then they won’t do it because they don’t want to be honest about the fact that they’re just in it to get laid and and don’t get me wrong I’ve got no problem with folks having casual sex if that’s what they want to have but at least be honest about what you are looking for you know I end up having said that even with a casual partner you can still send them a text message the next day and say hey how are you doing I had a great time last night still have Aftercare in a in a casual situation I’m a big believer in you know putting your toys away in as good condition as they were when you found them I just think that’s important beautiful yeah but we have covered some some very amazing deep intense territory and I and I just got to thank you so much again for allowing me to both event and also gets some access to some really important wisdom that you cultivate and to be fair with your energy exchange with me and to to be a good Steward of this container I want to say please do whatever you would like to promote your service and get people to your website and let’s get you some some reciprocity for all of this gifting that you’ve been giving so Facebook and Twitter and FetLife and all those other websites it’s traffic like men are all one word and then my my website is make sex easy.com I’m also at Charlie Glickman. she is my coaching page and I do coaching both are you at home in Seattle as well as when I’m on the road but I also do a lot of coaching over Skype so if anybody knew if you’re interested in exploring back further I offer a free 30-minute get-acquainted call to find out what’s going on am I the Right fit and if I’m not the right person for you I’ll do my best to find somebody who would be a better match so get in touch anytime I would love to hear from you awesome thanks so much yes please access to services and also do you want to talk a bit more specifically about the two offerings as a sexuality educator coach and consultant cuz I was howling at that for people who are I in the field who are wanting to develop workshops or curricula I have a lot of experience design and workshops and I can help you I create a more Dynamic experience that will get rate for views from your participant and because sexuality professionals often struggle to find professional support who’s up to their speed it can be hard to find a therapist or a food you understand what it’s like to work in this field I have a sliding scale for sexuality professionals looking for coaching so feel free to get in touch around that too and thank you for the reminder then we I wanted to Tootie’s that out of all things because it was it stood out it’s so outstanding to me and just through the process of kind of Talking Shop we ended up really bringing out and I think you were able to do a live demo tied around some of the stuff so U U of M definitely impressed me to be able to you know advice on some of these extremely complex matters and especially the ones that really break taboos and also push the envelope of our vocabulary around spirituality and sexuality that’s s such an important skill to be able to to be tuned in and to be able to walk between the worlds of the clinical Western Medical Paradigm and the shamanic Sexual Healing spiritual you know. I’m so I think you are absolutely cool what’s the do you have any final words or advice or anything else you want to share with four we call it a day let’s see ya breathe more drink more water and have really really good sex whatever that means for you thank you that I look forward to after the next time we’ll definitely all right so hopefully we’ll have some exciting new adventures to explore and I hope that I can get you some some really qualified leads through promoting this podcast so we’ll be in touch all right take care of Central Park. Calm and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and improving the podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple ever by Kika logical employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 8 18275 593 oreimo bad I kontrapunkt. Com Thomas Day

Seeking the Heart of Tantra with Nirmala Nataraj TPP57

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Nirmala pic In this episode I am joined by Nirmala Nataraj. I discovered her great works in a search for a teaching on the symbology within the Kali Yantra and found her article.

She has graciously blessed the podcast by sharing her story of personal transformation through Tantra and Goddess Kali worship. She holds sacred space for me to share some of my revelations and research and generously provides validation of and guidance for many of my most controversial discoveries.

Together we weave a mutually affirming narrative of personal healing and spiritual growth through our devotion to Kali. We emphasize the need for preparation, care, and caution when approaching her might and magic. We also encourage listeners to find supportive fellowship as they rediscover and reinvent Kali’s vast primordial irrepressible nature.

Nirmala shares a description of the Kali Yantra and conducts a devotional guided meditation using the Yantra.

We close with a brief discussion on sexual healing and empowerment through tantra and she offers some great advice for individuals and couples to break through repressive cultural conditioning and reclaim the power and beauty of sacred love making.

Please connect with Nirmala and access her services via her websites:
http://sacredfirecoaching.com/
http://nirmalanataraj.com/

About Nirmala:

I’m Nirmala Nataraj, a San Francisco Bay Area-based Desire Guru and Taboo Slayer (and you can find me at my day job here)!

Sacred Fire Desire Coaching is my way of connecting directly with those who want to embody their truth. My wish to expand people’s repertoire of tools and resources through creative problem-solving is paramount in my approach. I especially love to work with people to clear some of the obstacles that keep them from expressing their deepest truths—obstacles such as shame, past experiences of trauma, and the inability to embrace and integrate every last part of themselves.

For me, healing is something that happens when we are willing to wrestle our demons…and then become their friends (which also happens to be a recurring theme in my writing). I’m also interested in inspiring my clients to view relationships, intimacy, and sexuality as viable and rigorous paths to personal development and purpose.

My training background includes the OneTaste Coaching Program, the Co-Active Coach Training Program, and the Bay Area Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Immersion Program.

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear love his phone cover Township podcast episode number 57 I’m here with nirmala and we’re going to talk about goddess Kali and all of the beautiful magnificent ways that she’s entered our lives and given Direction and guidance and some of the Practical applications that we can all use to access her love and medicine and then we were just talking briefly about how apt it is that she was recently featured on the Empire State Building projected during a an endangered species slideshow production that that occurred and then at one of the Visionary artist Android Jones had a slide in there which is a beautiful collie face rendition and caused a bit of an uproar as you’d expect this is sort of a starting point to talk about this her she’s being called forth now to help us and if you don’t believe that you can look up the pictures didn’t see that you know it’s like the Batman signal or something so anyway that was my little brief intro and I normally would you please say thank you for joining us and please tell us about your background and in your path where to start my so first of all I I work I work pretty heavily with just what I consider the energy of desire and being somebody who’s been on a non dualistic tantrik pot for as long as I can remember and I grew up in a traditional Hindu household and both of my parents are from India and I was raised here so a lot of my own path has been about bridging cultural differences and really diving into the energy of what I see as the collective Shadow and for me desire is something that is really capable of helping us to heal from that split that we tend to have between masculine and feminine Darkness and Light and and I think that Kali is a really as it’s kind of emblematic of what it could look like when those when those pictures are heel and when the split is healed and we and we stopped being in conflict with ourselves and and so a lot of the work that I do is around healing our healing our connection with our sexuality healing our connection desire and my website is sacred fire coaching.com because because I do believe that our desire is the sacred fire that lives within us and it’s our responsibility as incarnate beings 210 that fire so that’s a little bit about 10 of the work that I do and I can talk a little bit more about that later but insurance if my own path I would I would say that it’s it actually comes from pretty ancient lineage and my family is from South India and there’s a long line of country cuz in the area both of my parents are from a lot of Hindu Tantra practice today can be found in South India and a lot of these practices are related to the 10 wisdom goddesses who are known as the Mojave Diaz and they’re very prevalent in a lot of different forms of Tantra and Kali is one of them so these goddesses are revered in South India and by far the most strongly maintain tan tradition in South India is his status Street as yet and she is Supreme goddess and a lot of practitioners in the street of your tradition including people in my family tends to be married householders and often there’s a family tradition of practice but being a woman is South Asian descent who was raised and the West I grew up in California back to Tantra has been its it happened been as direct it hasn’t been a part of this unbroken lineage and in fact I would say that that Tantra is still something that in in India in a lot of traditional Hindu family it’s really still seen as kind of a a dark path and there are still a lot of just as misunderstandings about Tantra abounds in the West on there’s a lot of misunderstanding about Tantra in the East and I think a lot of that comes from just you know Colonial attitude two words the way that the body and sexuality and certain spiritual practices were four kind of conveyed so a lot of I would say that a lot of Hindus in a lot of Indian people in general have kind of internalized those attitudes so so like I said before my path back to Tantra has a lot to do with my own exploration of desire and sexuality and desire and sexuality as a rigorous spiritual so I’ve always been interested in sex and sexuality and actually since I was very very young back when nobody in my family talks about it and if the same time because I I grew up in a household where devotion Devotion to god and goddess were really kind of a part of our daily existence I I was always in an environment that was very overly spiritual actually one of my earliest I wanted to be a nun and I wasn’t Christian nobody in my family was Christian but I remember just reading about female nuns and Mystics and being so drawn to this idea of devoting myself body and soul to God so I have always been on a path that I’ve considered devotional and that I’ve considered a path of surrender and that gradually grew into a worship of the dark goddess and all of her forms as mahakali as inanna Ishtar as as the Virgin of Guadalupe and that was actually really connected to my own discovery of feminism and goddess worship as a way of bringing the salmon in back into spiritual practices so so over time I was really interested in how the dark goddess encourages us to dissolve our boundaries between the sacred and the profane and I think that that’s what led me to Tantra and in addition a lot of my former work I used to be a Rape Crisis counselor and so I’ve worked with a lot of women who have felt just generally wounded and disconnected from their own essential sexuality and sensuality and a lot of my work has been without healing. Chasm and I for me working with collie and working with different forms of the dark goddess has been immensely healing I I really can’t even put that into words and end this this really comes from my own experience of how many women and it isn’t just women it’s also none how many of us have been wounded by a pervasive cultural attitudes about sex and sexuality and the sex is an extremely powerful force and the time because I knew this and they know it and and they work with it and incredible and hoping ways but sex is also something that’s a power that can be misused and as women we we often use that power in ways that don’t serve us and we use it to to do things like we to make people fall in love with us for instance where to use sexuality as a weapon because in many ways text has been used as a weapon against us and very few of the women that I’ve ever met has have worked with their sexuality as a source of pleasure and is a source of achieving Union ecstatic Union with the Divine so that’s that’s been a really big interest of mine how do we how do we move towards sex and desire to do that and also another really important aspect is my pot that I kind of alluded to earlier is looking at this experience of being bicultural this experience of growing up in two completely different traditions and and Bridging the Gap because I do think that Eastern forms of thought like Tantra obviously we’re seeing them becoming more and more popular and more and more needed and the west and at the same time there’s there’s just been a lot of really interesting stuff that’s been happening in India in particular and other places where traditionally women haven’t held over positions of power and where there really is still a lot of suppression as far as sexuality goes it’s amazing that India’s this place where Tantra and the Kama Sutra came out of but at the same time there are still horrific attitudes towards women are still bride burning since honor killings and end public rate end so I think that we really we really need to come to an understanding that that Bridges the disconnect that exists and it and I think this isn’t just a disconnect that’s about east and west and our attitudes towards sexuality and body and spirituality it’s a deeper and deeper conflict that’s being healed and it’s a conflict that I think lives inside the human consciousness and that collie and got us have to have the profound power to really heal so so a lot of the work that I’m doing is that the dressing that dualistic split again you know between nature and civilization masculine light and dark and I’m really interested in accessing your life force which is it’s the erotic nstemi accessing the erotic it’s it’s a spiritual act it’s a political act on it’s what we can do to claim our freedom as creative beings and I’ve really seen magical things happen we can act without energy and I’ve seen that happen in my own life and just to give you a little bit more background about myself about 7 years ago or so I was in a marriage that was falling apart and everything looked great on the outside I have been with my partner for close to a decade and something was missing and I didn’t know exactly what and I felt so guilty that I can be in this marriage that where everything looks perfect on the outside but inside there was something essential that was missing that I couldn’t put a name to I’m so I buried that understanding three years and years and and finally at some point the entire relationship just kind of exploded and it was like goddess herself came into my life and and shown this Stark light on to everything that I had built and and I felt like I was falling apart and it was a revelation and it was very difficult for me at that time and I think it’s that way of guilt and shame this this sense of internal knowing that there’s something that’s missing and I look back on that time now and I know that what was missing was my sense of connection to pleasure and desire and two goddess really to the feminine I think that that weight of guilt and shame of wanting and longing for this thing that we don’t have words for it it keeps so many women from tapping into the full extent of who they are and they’re afraid to even admit to it so I would say that my my real talk begin with just acknowledging my desire technology that there was a desire that was not being mad and it was not being that in the context of that marriage so after that I I would stay the night I went on an odyssey that involved Tantra it involved doing some somatic therapy sexological Bodywork and seeing what has been frozen inside me and this experience with Awakening and another itself and I really wanted to share that with other women and so many of the women that I have worked with had really similar stories and another thing that I’ve discovered that’s been remarkable is that a lot of the women I’ve worked with have kind of come into their own relationship with goddess and we’re really finding you know we can’t we can’t divorce our sexuality from our sense of connection to God has for my sense of connection to the universe and to each other and I think that would have been recognizing the night I should say that I work primarily with women but I’ve also worked with men and I’m seeing this awareness and then also is that we are seeking to make our ecosystem harmonious we’re tired of being in conflict with ourselves and we want a sexuality and a spirituality and creativity and community that are all integrated where we don’t have to leave any part of ourselves out answer me with the work that I’ve done in Tantra and with my own practices that involves connecting with collie she she is that energy she is fat energy of you know what here’s this is this is who you are this is all of you take it all you know the good the bad the ugly the things that you perceived as beautiful things that you perceive is garbage and use it because it’s yours and that for me has really been the gift of working with Tantra and being on this path wow thank you so much I’m just like smiling like ramakrishna this whole time here he missed that one photo that’s like so ecstatic and blissed-out the love of the mother just is so intoxicating and yeah yeah this is so beautiful for me to hear especially the did you see at the intensity I mean I’ll tell you that a lot of the time for that I was exposed to four years didn’t go anywhere near Shadow work or collie and when it’s when she was finally you know various when she entered my life very forcefully but yet beautifully I realized how much well just started to scratch the surface of what was missing from the westernized you know hyper-sexualized Tantra that’s not really getting into the deep Shadow work so yeah I really appreciate just having you on this in this conversation and if you don’t mind before we get into the the yantra if I could just Explorer some of my questions for you about Kali and how how she can be accessed and what some of her roles are ya so like I said I was going to learning Township techniques and breathwork and eye gazing and meditation and chakras and Kundalini stuff and and and it was just sort of well divorced from Sedona and goddess worship and so you know the encountering of in the wind a true just to passionate Devotion to the goddess for how much love there is there in one set started to pour into my life and when you know female sort of priestesses were starting to enter my life to initiate me and connect me that way I started going on a frenzy of really studying this force of nature that’s beyond words really beyond the iconic symbol of her standing on Shiva really that’s just a map but it’s not the terrain the terrain of her flesh in her being in her dimensions are so vast you know they’re unspeakable and I’ve gotten deeper and deeper into exploring her boundlessness and I’m curious as SUV gun into your ritual practice of of worship how how would you describe visual experiences an emotional and embodiment experiences send just a sort of narrative Beyond iconography that you’ve experienced too kind of compare notes you know I’m saying about that for hours yeah it’s it’s I think there’s always kind of this interesting experience that that we have when we decide to devote ourselves to particular path or even to a particular deity there’s you know kind of navigating that c of contradictions that all of the stories all of the lore all of the imagery on the experiences you hear about other people having there’s all of that that’s kind of floating and the Consciousness and I think it’s particularly complicated with Kali because she’s she’s so she represents a paradigm that to me is about moving beyond Orthodox representation socially Downs ideas of what’s good are appropriate so in some ways she’s she’s she’s really hard to represent and you know I’m constantly reading descriptions of Kali at that I that I think are grossly mistaken and I just a kind of I picked this up in park in preparing for this interview I was doing a bit of research and I was and I noticed that there was an Encyclopedia Britannica it describes collie as the major Hindu goddess whose I can. she calls in mythology commonly associate her with death sexuality violence and paradoxically and some of her later historical appearances motherly love which I think is really funny because I don’t think any of that is paradox in some ways and comprehensible and so I I would actually say that eyes my relationship with Collies when that is I mean how can it not be informed by certain cultural ideas of who she is whether those are coming more from Orthodox Hindu ideas of who she is and I should say that I grew up in a household that very much revered Kali and and and Shiva in particular they were they were on the present so there were lots and lots of beautiful pictures of collie with her necklace with severed skulls and it was always really funny when I had friends coming over to my house and they see these pictures and it’d be like oh my God that’s that’s so creepy that’s so messed up like why do you have these pictures up in your house and I I really agree with a with an enormous amount of reverence for these images which you know that they might look violent on the outside but they’re just they’re just representations you know their representations of things that exist within each and every one of us then and I always for me I always felt that was that was the beauty of it the beauty was in was in the imagery that that didn’t just fit didn’t just done represent her as being kind of the docile nurturing mother but there’s love these in here there’s love even in this and I really grew up with that understanding so none of that snooze paradoxical but at the same time a lot of Hindus will say oh well, he is actually really loving there is no there is no ferocious aspect beer I think that still persist even among people who do follow her and I think that it’s really important to it’s really important to see that so that her love is all encompassing it it really it’s her love is is her dancing in the Charnel grounds it’s her cutting off illusion at its roots it’s her frankly doing all the shit that we humans don’t want to do that we don’t want to face and I think I really I’ve really discovered Kali in my body in my dreams there’s a very there’s a personal relationship that I’ve had to develop with collie that’s about yes it’s about entertaining the way that she appears in the world and imagery and iconography and I think that there’s a place for all of that but it never became quite real to me until I experienced her for myself until I experienced myself in her grip well yeah well I think that the the story that you read that I wrote it was it was about coming face-to-face with her during I guess what I could describe as being a Dark Night of the Soul on at a time in my life where I felt completely alone and in many ways forsaken by just the spiritual practices that I had had and it was just a really it was a very lonely. My life and I didn’t have a spiritual community that I could really share this with and the most intense experience I had is coming face-to-face with Mama was it’s so appropriate it was during my first Ayahuasca Journey and and I it’s it’s funny sometimes when I described that Journey to the people that they’re just horrified because it really felt like I was coming I was coming face-to-face with death with my dad with the death of everything that I had held to be stable and fixed and everything I thought of as being me and and I think it’s really it’s important of course to remember that collie Collies name is it comes from the Sanskrit root for time and there’s nothing that is skates you know the march of time there’s nothing that escapes her and so and I do think of calling is being a goddess of death but I I’ve always seen it as being the death of the ego and that was that was kind of the experience that I that I had and I which is not to say that I think my ego is completely dead or the even that I wanted to be completely and totally different conversation altogether but but I really felt that this this experience that I had of coming face-to-face with her was about overcoming all of these ideas that I had about who I was and I think that when we become encased in those ideas those ideas become a prison and we don’t allow ourselves to grow into what we could be we don’t allow ourselves to move in the direction that our souls urine for and so I it was it was an incredibly on uplifting experience it was the experience of I’m dying and and also understanding that part of me that is eternal that that is not my you know the part of me that is not my body and not my personality and not my ego which is not to say that that stuff is in the gated because I cannot have that experience was just an even deeper appreciation for everything that I do have all of these tools that I do have at my disposal and I just remember coming out about journey of being sort of like wow I have have this body and you know like my body does all this amazing stuff that’s so cool and there was a sense of. Being you know a face of this this larger being that I am but I bet that’s part of the mystery it belongs to the mystery just as she lives in a mystery and I kind of felt that little journey into my death was this this this beautiful on kind of sojourn into that deeper mystery where you know everything that we believe about ourselves is is just untrue on and it’s it’s interesting cuz it feels like to me that was ego obliterating but it was also on I would say that it’s the most loved that I’ve ever felt it’s the most I’ve ever felt and it was in it wasn’t it was coming to me and it was moving through me and I was that love and if anything it felt like it just it it made me so much bigger then I then I ever knew was possible and that’s me is is just kind of stuff ultimate that’s the ultimate encounter with her she shows you how small your ideas of yourself really are there so puny know who you think you are and what you believe you’re capable of compared to the reality which is just so vast it’s it’s like you know if we settle we settle for so little in terms of our lives than 10 we settle for safety but I but I do think that with the soul wants is that experience of vastness and that experience is moving in to know the places that we fear which I kind of like the veil in front of the vastness you know you got it you have to move through that in order to get to in order to get to that place where you like oh yeah this is it this is this is the experience that my soul has been hungering for and I was the experience that I knew I was hungry for when I was in this dead-end marriage where everything like the future had been written it was everything had been predicted I know I could cross it all off my to-do list and die happy according to someone else’s standards of what that happiness was but I would never have gotten to that to that place to that place of you know feeling this Indescribable love the love that comes through when you’re willing to surrender your ideas of who you are and what your life is supposed to look like and said that experience that’s a very that’s that’s always going to be a personal experience for anybody and it’s going to look different for everybody and I’ve got to say that was that was fairly recent in my life and I honestly don’t know that I that I really knew Kali was before that I had an idea I had a deep reverence for her but I wasn’t touched by her in quite the same way as I was when I allowed myself to go into this experience and allowed myself to say yes I’m okay I’m okay with my dad so just to sort of Jump Ahead a little bit I think there are a lot of different ways to really make a connection with her to get in contacts but I do think that one of the quickest route is is Ayahuasca if if any of your listeners are so inclined it seems to be kind of a direct a direct line to her and and I think

Sex Magic and Tantric Public Policy with Laurie Handlers TPP37

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Laurie Handlers picIn this episode I’m joined by the illustrious Laurie Handlers for a discussion about modernizing Tantra and designing new public policies to support sexual exorcism, healing, health and wellness. We also cover the basics of practicing sex magic to manifest your dreams and desires.

Laurie’s Bio
Laurie Handlers is a film producer, sex educator, author, and intimacy coach. You could call her a Sex and Happiness Coach! If you want to get sexier and happier, call her!

She holds a Masters degree in Education and a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology and Sociology. Her career includes over thirty years as a corporate change consultant, individual empowerment coach and international seminar leader.

She is a dynamic speaker, facilitator and has taught transformational workshops for women, men, couples, singles, parents and teens since 1978 on techniques and secrets that are the basis of healing the body, releasing past emotional trauma, stopping the aging process, and reducing stress.

Please visit https://butterflyworkshops.com to access all of Laurie’s great works!

AI Generated Transcription:
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear beloved welcome to Township Punk podcast episode number 37 I’m so excited to be here with Laurie handlers on Skype and Laurie I’ve been a big fan of listen to all of your podcast and I really have been profoundly influenced and inspired by your great work so if you would would you give us a bit of background on your sort of life history and Township journey and all of your offering these days oh my goodness how much time do you have when I was a college and teacher High School teacher than a college teacher and I taught psychology and sociology and from there I would lived in Boston and I started teaching assertive communication at 2 adult education centers in Boston and Industry in the form of digital equipment corporation started to send all their staff to me and pretty soon they hired me please to fly me running to helicopter to their meetings to teach their staff how to communicate so I had a big career in corporate Consulting and was that Midler anyway moved over in the 90s I was doing consulting to the government to city state and federal governments under the Clinton Administration I was taking people off the welfare rolls and getting them employable like it was teaching them how to have a job Essick I didn’t know someone else to use computers and answer the phone and everything but I taught them how to sustain themselves get off the welfare rolls dress properly carry themselves and conduct themselves properly not use their children as an excuse to stay home from work and I got lots of people employed and I had lots of contracts and it was wonderful and at the same time I was studying Tantra so the 90s I started studying Tantra and I always knew that there was something more to sex then just boom boom and you know the in and out what are we called friction thank you ma’am five I always knew there was more to it and I was never able to find a partner who was really confident enough to go really deep with me to where I thought it was possible to go and then I found Tantra and I went over this is it this is the root this is how I’m going to find it so I was taking time for classes and I was doing my Consulting to the government and I was in a teacher training program with absolute Andra and then all of a sudden George W bush got elected and he took all the contracts that were from welfare-to-work and gave them to faith-based organizations like churches which I didn’t own one and I don’t plan on only one and so I didn’t really know what I was going to do like thousands and thousands of dollars were going out of my pocket I had to let go of all my employees I mean it just was a life-altering experience to have nothing from so much something and so if you don’t talk about transformation so I just went oh you know what I’m going to take my hobby and make it into my vocation because sex always sells and there’s no government that we’ll be able to legislate if I’m going to make money this year or not and so that’s it I just never looked back I I open my doors I put out my shingle I said I was teaching Tantra and because I had been involved in I don’t know if you know about Landmark Education Landmark education is a transformation company that’s all over the world it used to be the S training and then it became Landmark Education anyway I work there before I had all those government contacts I was at work in house for them and I knew people all over the east coast and all over the United States and when I left there and I started doing Tantra lots of people said what is she doing I’ll have what she’s having so a lot for 10 years I had students Galore I didn’t have to do too much enrollment I had full classes I lived in Washington DC and then I traveled up and down the east coast and I had you know I was launched and it was it was great it was really great but you know that’s that’s the 90s and took out two thousand three four and then things changed to get the economy changed lots of things happened so what we can talk about all that but that’s basically how it started how I got started in it and I I was I knew enrollment because when I worked at Landmark Education I that’s what what I was I was the queen of enrollment of enrolling people at the courses so I just took all my transformation skills while my Roman skills and I married them with with Chandra and that’s it the rest is history yeah that is that is so cool I love hearing about how people find these healing Pathways after having been relieved highly trained in the modern Western world and all of its different tools and tactics and when you get the ancient wisdom to synthesize with all of this modern stuff those are my hero so you’re definitely he just blew my mind I’m like so I said thank you for sharing that I don’t think I had gotten quite all of those details at once from all the podcast and that really really perfectly puts in context exactly what I want to explore with you today which is really big picture Blue Sky budget out-of-the-box thinking about the future of tantric public policy and you know I’ve been thinking of the really there’s is parallel going on with psychedelic Shamanism and medicines where it’s like there’s one track of standardization medicalization westernization of very esoteric and very wild and and natural squarely substances and the rituals and ceremonies around him and then you have to sort of religion icing track which is to protect the Integrity of sacred traditions and not force them to be accountable to the scientific method or two standard dosage is and what not and I feel like what I’m observing in the transfer world is that Sexual Healing you know sexual exorcism these ways of doing sort of thumb very deep healing work there isn’t a political legal space or language to support what we’re doing so I feel like what a lot of times because you’re doing is what you could consider back alley exorcism because you’re not being protected by by public policy clinical standards and is so there’s this whole range of legality illegality and pseudo legality you could say and there’s people who are getting persecuted and prosecuted and people who are figuring out how to buy legal protection or find loopholes and really it’s like such a mess and so I’m curious from your perspective you know what the question I frame that I sent you is if you if you if there could be a happy medium between legalizing all prostitution in the US and medicalizing tantric Sexual Healing Touch and sexual surrogacy how would you advise a legislative committee to structure the regulations but it’s a big mouthful questions Act of setting the context though because you know I don’t know about your listeners but some of my listeners are on my shell or some are very aware of what’s happened because I ran a few shows with panels from people talking about what happened in Phoenix Arizona which is where I live when the temples in Phoenix and Sedona were busted and I had a bunch of experts on and Tracy at least who was the goddess mother of the Tantra Temple here has been on my show number of times as well and I taught there I taught at the temple so I have a you know I have some I haven’t take on it I have a few different points of you wanted actually I could go back and forth these first of all I feel like the work that people are doing in sacred sexuality is you’re the only other person I’ve ever heard call it exorcisms I call it modern-day exorcism and I have very special practices that I use for those exorcisms and people see me individually for that and I don’t do too many of that out those because for many reasons but one is the legality I don’t want to touch people I don’t want to have sex practice sessions with people because I don’t want to I personally don’t want to take money for any kind of touching bodies and I just want to be above the law you know it for me now I anyway feel that it should be legalized that people should be able to do these kind of practice this because I feel except for what people believe is inevitable death which is why they are sort of hung up you know like the fact that they’re going to be no more here on the planet at some point we’re going to have to leave loved ones or loved ones are going to leave them that’s that’s a terrible wounding and I’m also in the in a camp that’s fighting that so that we don’t have to get into that right now I don’t believe that the Natural end to life is death so that’s just a whole other can of worms to open up but besides the fear of death the only other thing that I think has caused major problems on our planet is sexual wounding yes so I’m a strong advocate of being able to Hill the root causes and the root chakra the root area of the body and I personally first-hand know that it’s more effective than going and talking and talk therapy for years and years and years for being on Zoloft Prozac and whatever else or being on Viagra or Cialis or don’t get me started on all these drugs but these wounds that people have because of the history of you know the inequality between the Sexes women trading sex to get security and get love men trading love to get sex and keeping ownership over women and and making most of the rules for centuries to be changing a little bit it’s not healthy for anyone and everyone has to embrace their not only their light but they’re dark there light and the shadow and they also need to embrace what’s inside them which is their masculine or feminine and the only way that I know to do that is to is to heal the wounds that is made people think that there that their gender is attached to a certain role that there that they have to play these stupid games with each other and then in other parts of the world that they get that women have to cover up and wear these 10 you know with only their eyes showing in their own by like their cattle but by men I mean it’s crazy and once that gets healed if it ever will get healed then that will change the way people take life or or fight over oil or consider war with one another I mean when women have their say I and are not seen as property I think that’s some Dynamics in the world when changing when men can be vulnerable and don’t have to hold up the Florida and they can cry and they can say you know that didn’t feel good today or whatever when those rolls shift I think the will see a different kind of operating system on the planet now that’s said I think all of it should be legalized so even though I’m not a prostitute I don’t do sexual work like that my work takes place in classes then most of the time my classes are closed although there’s some advanced classes that I do where I usually take people out of the United States and then they can have clothing optional experiences and there is some touch the I think all of it should be legal I think I would advise lawmakers to get over there and you know to take a time to class and see and then and then see how that would affect the overall mood attitude climate of their culture and that’s so that’s I mean that’s like a blanket statement and but I still as I said I have kind of both takes on what actually happened here in Phoenix so but anyway that’s that’s that’s for starters yeah well you know what I’ve been thinking about me I feel like you’re the perfect person to talk to you about this because I tried to get to this level of conversation with but it’s just very few people who have this this broader public policy perspective and the experience in the trenches of the spiritual you know combat with that were involved in any it’s not all Bliss bunnies is it so yeah so you know what to go to jail real real people suffer real people’s families get taken away from them if they’re involved in this kind of thing from time to time it does it’s not often that it happens but it does that you so something that that comes to mind and I just like playing with thought experiments and like I said thinking on the box and I really it’s it’s voice is like yours that are that I believe are going to be able to push forward something like a dare program for sexual violation and recovery and therapy and education where if you think about when the drug war was you know at the Epic of of when there is developing the Dare program which I’m sure you remember I don’t know if what it’s the evolve into now but they were actually I was in school as a child they showed me what the drugs look like and I got to meet the police dogs and I don’t know if I got to witness like a reformed drug-dealing criminal tell their story but that’s the kind of stuff where it’s like imagine if you were in the streets of my next question about a blue sky budget to develop projects and programs like if you were to be selected to to head up a national Tantra task force where you were going to educate let’s say that we’ve gotten past the point of the crisis point where people admit that there is however their religion wants to frame it we admit that there is a an epidemic of trans-dimensional parasitic organisms that we used to call demons that we need to treat like a like an infectious disease that’s contagious that we need to quarantine it and and we need to disinfect and purify wounded astral bodies of the people who been attacked and we need to do harm reduction and slow down the spread of the entities that are responsible for possessing mostly men into sexual predation if that’s something that that the world can finally have a medical language is scientific medical language to deal with then they will start to allocate the funds to hire people like you to design the national International task force has to actually get the education on the ground this is what we’re dealing with like when AIDS came out and I know you you were very active and where would not happen so if if if if it’s psychedelic shamanic Paradigm Shift 2 Revolution enlightens people in the tantric you know kind of Revolution like his people to where they realize all the porn is being you know as a is culprit in propagating these entities and not all of it but a lot of the very few know that you could say satanic parts of it still there so many different things so we can open the vale open People app have give people these Revelations and then and then the budget will be there and the buy-in and the acceptance okay we trust these authorities these are the experts in these are the people who know what what what we’re dealing with and we’re going to take their lead so if we are let’s say hopefully in the next like few years would be nice timeline for my taste but let’s just say what how long it takes and you you’re into the the immortality thing so hey what shift is going to happen and I could see you as being one of those leaders so let’s just put ourselves in that magical mind frame of Blue Sky budget you have all the money in the world everyone is is bought in because they trust and believe that you and your colleagues in your staff and your team’s know how to go in and educate and inform people and set up the that the spiritual barricades and practices that are going to keep people safe and have them so they can learn how to practice spiritual hygiene sexual spiritual hygiene that was a big preface but now I really want to tongue twisters in there till you said there was a lot of words in there that I was like well I was he saying those in one sentence it’s it’s it’s a very dense study and so you know the simplify it I will I’ll say again Laurie handlers about to you and I Christen you as the the leader of the township task force and here’s all the money here is all the popular support how are we going to fix these problems with the really sensible programs that would be like the Dare program for sacred sexuality list X New York City Cop just told me that hit that there are these programs on college campuses now with a combination of sexual like rape prevention bully prevention get a date rape prevention all this kind of stuff so he’s told me to start to go after that money so I’m just letting you know that I have and I have eight apprentices and I haven’t assigned anybody to it yet but I will be assigning somebody to start looking at it and seeing what we could apply for also just so you know I started to try and stalk the NFL National Football League because I felt that the principle that have money and second of all these guys are doing terrible some of these guys not often but some of these guys are doing terrible things to their wives to other women to other to themselves and their families and I felt that I could start their you know like I could make a name for myself by working with football players or basketball players cuz I know I can help them improve their performance what to see this is the this is the quandary they get paid for testosterone on the court or on the field of play and then they’re saying testosterone which makes them such a great player makes them so inept at life makes them mix their hormones rage and they don’t know what to do and you knows people like Ray Rice beat up their wife and an in it on a camera and an elevator I mean you know that’s crazy and then they and then you know they could penalize they are thrown out of the game nothing really bad happens to them because the NFL just says you know where the NFL you can stop us don’t try to tell us anything we’re not interested but I just want to let you know I mean I have tried to go after some of these groups I’ve had some very good conversations with pro ball players who actually got it what I said about what I could do but you know nobody’s giving me the shot yet I’d I have I do have some professional athletes that work with me I have a cage fighter and I’ve had some I have some basketball players pet it’s up to you know I what I would do I would do I would I would attack the problem from every aspect multi-dimensional I would produce films I would have cadres of trained Professionals in school systems working with people working with parents working with teachers I work by the way now I work on it with a foundation that works with trauma in the schools and I train the social workers in in trauma release the same exact things that are doing a time for class I just do I just I don’t put in the side and we don’t I don’t sit over building a sexual charge like I just said okay lay on the floor we doing buy one Exotics release we’re doing this kind of release for doing that kind released and where the body keeps all this drama is in What’s called the lower chakras are the lower part of the body you know you add up the dots yourself and then I teach them to go into the school systems and teach what I’m teaching them to nurses and teachers so when kids are traumatized by experience is like with someone going into the school and shooting it up and kids don’t want to go to school anymore like all the teachers and the principles and the and the nurses are alerted to how to deal with that those kids were traumatized cuz they’re traumatized to so you know on a very minor level it’s creeping in but the big scale Blue Sky what you’re talkin about I mean I would start with the president you know I would start with Congress I would start with the Senate and I would work my way through the NFL the NBA the NHL that you know the national I don’t think baseball players are as violent but you know I’d work through all these big organizations that have so much say and how our culture is and you know and I went up from I wasn’t educated remember I have a master’s degree in education so I know that learning styles are different not everybody can learn by listening not everybody can learn by seeing some people have to learn by doing so I would design programs on every level you know that that would stimulate people in Everett and all their senses and so that they wouldn’t understand it’s not rocket science it’s easy to learn containment boundaries and Trauma release once you’re clear so I would set upon a problem with getting everybody clear of the of those those major device that they have between masculine feminine and with and with the wounding that’s taking place and you know what let me tell you something in a psychiatrist in was in Philadelphia Vivian do see a psychiatrist years ago who was one of my first student said to me you get done in 3 days more than I get done with some people in 7 years and I always remember that because it was a really big compliment you know a lot of my clients are psychologists and psychiatrists a lot of people who come to my classes and you know they say that the work is getting done by someone like me and I’m not I’m certainly not the only one and they’re in all of it but they can’t even refer their clients to me because if anything should go wrong they could lose their license they have governing boards the something else that you know I’m not of this I’m not I can’t claim to be I cannot claim to be of the school of thought that says Tantra is a religion I personally am not religious I’m not too boo boo either so I don’t look at my practice as a belief my practices have changed my life they have transformed me I went from being out so wonderful and friendly and you know smart woman to be but with we had lots and lots of stored anger to being a cam and happy and not the stress person because I let go of my woundings and I don’t even I can’t even name them I was not raped by anybody my father didn’t incest me to the best of my knowledge I don’t even know where the anger and all of that angst Came From My Friends Love Me In Spite of it back then but it was my job to find a solution and looking for the why didn’t answer the question so I just did the practices and eventually I didn’t have any more there was no more slush fund of anger left hanging around waiting to spring on someone so if I could do that and I was extremely I’m just I’m playing it down but I’m letting you know like if you were my friend back and who knows when the day if I was mad at you I then I would call you at 3 in the morning to see how you sleeping and you said yeah and I go well I’m not and we’re going to talk I was very aggressive I didn’t know how to deal with it I was honest so I could we could work it out but I didn’t know what to do with if you looked at me funny I would be like her I don’t have any more takes a lot to get me pissed really I can’t even find that rage in me anymore time for did that from me and it’s done miraculous things for almost everybody that I know Christmas in the Park you know I say why wouldn’t you why wouldn’t somebody you know nothing but here’s the thing there’s always the rub witches in order to look if you want to live forever I’m just going to say you’re going to have to be responsible for a lot of things that you think in your body toxic thoughts you’re going to have to get responsible for like a Raticate in those then you’re going to be held responsible for what kind of foods and substances you put in your body then you got to get responsible for how much stress you take how much of a workaholic you are a couch potato or whatever you can have to get responsible for how much exercise you’re going to get at no matter what age and how much sex you’re going to have cuz you need that to you need your cells in your brain and everything needs oxytocin and endorphins and serotonin so if you’re going to be sexually free an unknown encumbered by the fear of public opinion by Fear Itself by Shame by blame by Gilda all the ways we’ve been controlled by either our family our religion or our education system where the government or whatever people you know I’m not going to get into conspiracy theory here but got want to be free you got to get responsible and that a lot of people when I say you know why wouldn’t you then you know the other side of the question is most people don’t want to bother their happy being couch potatoes drinking their beer going on you know being totally controlled by advertising this is some stuff that I’m really now I’m really excited to get a little more in detail that’s the the definitely the big picture of the archetypal picture of where we’re at and over the course of us until your podcast there’s been a few really memorable Peaks for me in and I really like the way you language this modernization of the ancient wisdom in a way that really transcends this kind of nasty and kind of I guess cynical attitude of the the righteous and Pious traditional and authentic perspective and then the the sort of dismissive the Neo Tantra or just sex crazed you know compulsive and impulsive sexual addicts and so there’s not really a there’s not at there needs to be an integrative Tantra practice between the ancient traditional and the modern and the people who have put it the best that you know I said I liked what she were Vijaya says like the spirit of Tantra has come to the west to heal the second chakra because that’s where it’s needed the most that’s where the tree of this is really getting the most in that that’s my word you know for it is that this over at emphasis of the sexual ritual that was really a you know I’m I knew that aspect of the traditional Nishi ations back in the day people then in Ancient India let’s say that they weren’t sexually repressed and they were doing what we’re doing now and are acting almost leave people after the 30s learning finding this like we’re doing kindergarten Tantra in our thirties what would have been what people are doing to initiate their children through a tradition of Priestess matrilineal matriarchal Temple Arts they would be learning how to become full beings at the appropriate stage of the life cycle and they wouldn’t be neurotic and it wouldn’t be Juvenile and sort of sexually and psychologically for most of their adult life and so it makes sense to know that neotantra is focused are I don’t think it’s I think that the spirit of Tantra is massaging the second chakra of the West and that’s why it’s over emphasized because we don’t have the sexual health happiness discipline wholeness that you need to be anchored down enough in the root chakra or the lower chakras to be able to have a platform to ascend into the deeper esoteric practices so you know that when you talk about taking away that that guilt in that responsibility oh we’re not practicing 1000 vs yuno 108 * of this and that and it’s like all those things that make people neurotic about am I doing it the masculine yogic way or am I free to just go with the flow in the feminine sort of traditional myself I just doubt that was just a big omage to how powerful it is that you were great in that language around hate practical this is what we need this is a toolkit this is what I’m going to pull out of my control kit based on my experience and training and here’s some things to sample and you go with what works for you and it doesn’t have to have this tension about Neo vs. classical Contra and that’s what it’s going to take to get the the actual healing potential into things like pamphlets at Planned Parenthood cuz you can’t talk about and really it’s not appropriate to talk about things that don’t fit in the cultural context I don’t want to make a bunch of people like the way that you see white people trying to get their Indian names at the at the powwow and get on the Red Road and just make a mockery of pipe holding and stuff like that it’s like I don’t want to see all these wannabe John shakes trying to extrapolate decide to lifestyle or something and I want to see people you’re not able to be you no functioning in the modern world but learning and sampling these things so so many images so the first of all I am in in my life I spend some time I spend a lot of time in India and I spent a lot of time you know I have a film shot on location India called tantric tourists that if anybody wants to go on iTunes and find I can find it and not only will you have a great trip to India by watching a film that you also see how we do Tantra in India like people tourists come with me to Indian we do talk to their most serious you can’t even find it in India at solving you know it’s all been whitewashed by being conquered so many times and by the conquerors of India 400 times India has been invaded But the other thing is I have never I’ve met very few Yogi’s that I would want to even look like let alone study with like I could I have some awesome that I’ve gone to the people look so dried up like prunes and they were practicing brahmacharya which is celibacy I wouldn’t I would not want it I mean I would just like to take a look at them and feel like I would never want to be that I would never want to be them they don’t they don’t look so in the past at least eight years is taking me to really figure it out like when I came when I left the East Coast when I left New York City to come to Phoenix Arizona I realize I had to repackage myself and one day I just went Eureka like I I’m I don’t call myself a time for Teacher anymore I’m a sex and happiness coach that’s who I am and I named my book sex and happiness in 2006 but you know it’s the tundra claws of intimacy but I name the sex it happen if the two most Googled words I didn’t say I didn’t even know they were when I named it that and then then I got bored with Tonka and when I had my radio show toddler Cafe if one more person to 5:10 if I said what’s your favorite practice if one more person that I gave me like I was so bored out of my mind so I said I hate this like I’m I’m not that I don’t want to talk about this anymore I want to broaden this to the whole world to that to everyone so I named my show after my book sacks and happiness and then one day I woke up and went sex and happiness coach which gave me a much broader audience a lot of people don’t want exactly what you’re talkin about let’s let me tell you I did the Thousand eight times chanting on kriya Babaji no, I mean you know what I got out of it while I don’t even know what I got out of it I did this exercise I had to write it a thousand eight times and my teacher said you have to write the whole thing ohm kriya Baba ji na ma and you have to write it like that but you know I’m a New York kids so I wrote like 1008 times down the page and then I wrote Crea Crea Crea you know when the teacher in school makes you know right on the board you talk in class so you know a hundred times I’m it’s like I couldn’t wrap my arms around not granted there are people who can but my point is I’ve never met anybody I’m just trying to really check in if I’m telling the truth here I don’t think I’ve ever met anybody who follows the tradition has like a Westerner who actually is walking around happy like happy like joyous some people are walking around you note in the so-called non-attached then space some people are walking around celibate and they don’t look good to me and then there’s people I don’t know I just all this rigidity there is something listen there is something from the Traditions that that is to be translated and pulled over but it has to be dissed up in a context that westerners can actually get and Western still sickle and their attention span is so little because of the internet you know They seized and their phones and their devices and you have to Dish it up fast you have to I have to catch their attention in 2 seconds and say okay look you can get sexier and happier if you come to see me now that’s what you know they come and they think I’m going to like having really bad. Crazy sex and I’m going to get really happy in my gonads or something and that’s not what I’m talking about actually when they come in they seat like it there really is a process there really is a method to the madness there really are practices and they really are rituals but I always tell people please my students anyway I can’t speak for other people please do not make this into a religion I’m not giving it to you that way my recommendation is that if you do something like a cobra breath that you do it 7 to 10 times a day if you don’t that’s okay if you do it three times a week 7 to 10 times a day okay and if you don’t do it exactly that amount you’re not going to be struck by lightning just do it and see what changes for me the anger dissipated my friends thought I was on Prozac you know they said you’re so, what happened to you I said unto I’m taking Tantra I’m not taking Prozac if you want real change in your life you are going to have to commit to doing something but it doesn’t have to be super expensive it doesn’t have to ruin your liver have to do something but you don’t have to do it 1008 times I I I don’t I don’t believe that you have to and I’m not teaching it that way and you know there’ll probably be Yogi’s and Tom talk to her going like who is she what is she doing and I don’t care let him challenge me yeah it’s you know I I I do respect the lineage holders and and I think social already did a lot of this killing of sacred cows let’s say about her and loving and accepting all of his frailties along with it at the 99 rolls-royce’s if I heard about it you know what I would do with one Rolls-Royce I can only imagine but this weekend and it was awesome I much rather have a Tesla yasso at on the other end then on the other hand so there’s this again I’m deep in the I want to synthesize psychedelic Shamanism and tantric sexual healing and do it in laboratory controlled setting so that we have repeatable experimental study designs that any researcher in the world can replicate and create a database of falsifiable scientific research data and then we can bring that to the the the lawmakers in the policymakers and get you know I don’t want to have to go to international waters to get away from all these Draconian laws about what we can do with our Consciousness and how we can use pleasure for medicine or not I mean it’s just so insanely backward well I got listen there they just like they’ve done stage of studies on everything else there have been studies not in the United States but there have been studies in Sweden maybe there are some of the United States I have to get out look on it but they’re which I do have where they’ve done studies on people doing a self pleasure masturbation and people doing studies on same-sex couples couples having sex and they’ve shown studies about depression that running oxytocin serotonin and dopamine through the body makes people happier the more regular sex if people have sex in general I’m not to talk about tantric sex which is so which is the two aspects of Tantra sex would you make Tom trousseau deep and soul appealing even though most people again they don’t even know it when they are seeking Tantra or sacred sexuality will call they don’t even know that this is what they’re seeking but there’s most people know about procreative sex that’s what you do. Babies every animal can do that and does do it human beings do it too and some people leave it at that butt human beings because of a frontal cortex have so much more ability to create I know this is a subject you wanted to cover Sex Magic will get there human beings have more capacity to create from Sexual Energy other than making babies since so procreation is a primitive form of sex the next is Recreation that’s like I got I go to a bar I you know you know I’m looking for sex you know what I’m looking for love but I’m going to have sex you know in all the wrong places or whatever so that’s recreational sex Sports fucking their people who said and I told you earlier in my life I used to be on a seafood diet like I thought I saw someone I want to be with I was with him when I took Tanto my whole attitude towards everything changed my body is a temple there’s no way that I would interact with just anybody but you and I agree with this we said just real quick I got it I got to support you something you said which is it the more the deeper and more I go into Tantra the less sex and sex partners I really feel like I need Divine Union and I feel like while the discernment from that is such a gift so I just wanted to the assignment discernment discernment my favorite word Tasha has changed my whole life in that aspect so now there’s two more forms of sex and people this is what they’re really seeking unbeknownst to them for the most part 1 restoration sex which has to do with restoring your entire body feeling full rejuvenating yourselves getting cocktail to the brain that it needs to feel happy and content and self-love that has to happen through through restoration restaurant have sex and that is one of the primary aspects of sacred sexuality like feeling good and being able to be orgasmic and being able to flow and being able to to embrace the body as this wonderful miracle that it is other form of sex is transformation transformational sex has to do with being able to know not only is my masking my feminine impact within me I have become my own beloved I don’t need anybody on the outside I love myself I’m married to myself and if someone comes on the outside that I actually want to have Cosmic Union with then that’s a gift but I am Sovereign and I’m not subject to rock and roll songs ache that sells you know I want to break my heart open to the whole world and not be in that that karmamudra 1 deficient parasitic. I’m paraphrasing but I’m I’m with you on that Hollywood cozmo you know whatever the pap is as being served up in the day and you know most people are just what they want with what you know I always you must have heard this because if you’d listen to all my shows I talked about this all the time in 2004 the cover of Newsweek magazine had a couple one had the laptop in the lab the other one had the clicker double if you know sex has come home you’re so exhausted and stressed out from the brook and the day and all the things that they were combating it like life is like this war that people go to they don’t even want to have sex with who wants to get that vulnerable with each other those are the people who come to see me you know a lot of those people are to be or someone who lost a partner or somebody who who people who are recuperating from a mastectomy people who people who just know there’s something more to life and mean those are the kind of people who come to me and they know they don’t know that they’re seeking restoration and transformation but they are and they somehow they get this Clemson it could happen through sex and you know what I’m here to say I’m happy to say I’m thrilled to say yay it’s right in your body and guess what it’s for you can use your own hands you know something that came to mind as you were as you were speaking it’s it’s like I was in ayahuasca ceremony you know and I was getting some pretty intensive Soul retrieval work done and you know the I was getting glimpses and Visions for the first time something I’ve gotten much more sophisticated at now identifying species of demons as they were defined in this ancient scriptures and as they can be seen you know in the Psychedelic space and it’s been a minute it just dawned on me I had to ask the shaman I said are these entities that you know parasitize our fears and and sort of live off of negative vibrations are they fire logical entities meaning there could be things that might actually eat them on the bigger scale of astral plane in the same ways that we can disinfectants reduce them out and she says yes they are organisms and love is the disinfectant and that was very striking to me so I think about you know what’s happening with Tantra and sex and happiness and what you’re saying I’m in the visual to me from that shamanic dimensional space of looking at things just like what people want to have that friction sex and it really it’s like you’re pouring your pouring water would say when rain hits a roof or or non-porous driveway it just hits it and it’s there for it until the rain storm is over and it all got washed away picking up a bunch of toxic chemicals in going and killing at things in the ocean but when you create a porous landscape design where your hydrating the soil and you’re capturing that rainwater in in rain water gardens in mulch and stuff and I’ve been all of that moisture gets to percolate down to the deepest subsoil levels and then stay there so when we use the tantric techniques to dilate the chakras and open up the bioenergetic field then obviously you’re sustaining the the duration of lovemaking longer and you’re opening up and I’m more porous way to get that love into the deepest darkest places in this sort of multi-layered infested places of the soul that goes back lifetime so it’s like so I can just see the schematic like a model is very scientific and very easy to convey and you know it’s like sex with happiness and I’ll get with the program here and figure out use these techniques to not just have this 2-minute very surface-level you know quick peek and then it’s over but that doesn’t my reflected ramps and then if you want to talk about how you feel about that and then go into the sex Magik how do we get to the from the restoration and healing to the transformation and what are some of the take-home techniques for the sex Magic Ritual a few basic things clear I say we I had to get clear before I could know what I want so clearing techniques or emotional release techniques like there’s a there’s any number of them I use about 10 different ones that I teach people and they hate doing it cuz they don’t want to take responsibility for all that clutter that they’ve been making up and thinking and then going back to the trauma that happened in their life but I have some techniques that actually don’t make you relive trauma so they can just released first of all people have to get clear so that they know what they actually want in a clear space to once they’re clear they need to set intentions is where the magic comes in. Just set intentions clear intentions I want to write a book I want a loving partner I want this much money I want you to whatever it is done besides clearing and setting clear intentions the other thing that I do owe show did and a few people do not everybody besides teaching the basic breathing techniques and breathing and squeezing Cassandra is really only breathing movement and sound that’s all it is when you when you demystify it it’s breathing movement and sound but it’s really moving to sound in very specific ways once you got those breathing practices I teach people to move in the unknown it’s called LA tejana and I took that as my actual spiritual Enlighten haunted men’s spiritual practice but it’s actually following inner guidance some people call it authentic movement you learn to move with no prescribed dance steps yoga asanas or postures you just let your elbow move you or your head move your foot move you or you don’t move maybe you make sound but I teach people to do that so they taking let go of all the techniques when they’re actually making love the worst thing you want to do is see mechanical let me see somebody’s going to kick you right out of bed because I wanted to bring too much structure into someone just wanted to party and you know it’s sad it hurts with the flow flow in the unknown and receive whatever shows up so okay so that’s what I’m known for in the world I’m like the you know the queen of emotion release and then I teach people to set clear intentions and then I teach people to practices but then I tell him to let them all go so I’m supposed to be dead too so I’m saying all that because before I would talk to you about sex magic and we don’t have much time to talk about it I would say if you take this and make it into a formula and I primarily say this to men if you take Sex Magic and make it into a formula after about the third or fourth time whoever you’re with if it’s a woman is going to like say get out cuz even as good as it was those four times like you got to change something people like change that don’t want to be bored so don’t try to send your getting it right and make it into formula I always like Clash of people about that particular I say that two men because once they get it right they think I’m on to something here to linear thinking exactly so let me just I’ll just say the basic principle of sex magick sex magick is the is using orgasm to create other things besides babies so it’s good it’s intentional use of orgasm to fuel intentions and so if I’m clear about my intentions are and I set my intentions before I set out to have an orgasm then I can actually picture that thing at the moment of orgasm or I can speak that at the moment of orgasm or I can just pray before I would start a session where I was going to have an orgasm and I could pray after and then what I visualized is connecting my orgasm to all the orgasms that ever were in the universe now fitbit’s on the 2nd I’m a chrome which means that I’m over 50 I’m actually over 60 I my given in terms of my intention is that I want to live in this body forever so that’s always in the magic that I make whether it’s through self-pleasure or with a partner and and I connected my orgasms to the wisdom of the crones the wise women who have always lived because somehow in the wise women who have always lived there something there’s some historical body of knowledge there that I want to be connected to that’s my choice that’s where I choose to connect it now in my partner sex Magik so so before of sex session you would set your intention you were first so you might do a clearing you know some emotionally done you would set your intention and then you would begin to self pleasure until the point of orgasm but I would take it slow and beautiful and I would make it like as if there was I was going to be with a partner and the partners me and I would make it yet I would have flowers and I would have candles and I would have to know whatever I would make it a particular kind of a session that was romantic for me and just me now if I was doing that with a partner the way I teach it is a little different there are some schools and traditions that teach sex magic with with a male and female partner having a full-on intercourse that is not my brand of sex magick I teach the male partner in hetero couples for diets what’s called because I hate that concept of a couple of off-world I teach men to actually prey on the woman’s body like it’s the altar at the Temple of his prayer and I don’t care if you mix up a poem he reads Rumi he just and then they line their intentions and he honors her body in a way that she will eventually have an orgasm but I want it to take over an hour like I don’t even want him to go near bringing her to orgasm until she’s so ready to have orgasm orgasm is going to shoot at the top of her head like a rocket ship carrying the intention into that field of orgasm that’s always been and always will be and always you know John has happened historically explain to it’s always there and you can feel it in your knee cap or you can feel it in your Yoni or in your third eye and it’s just a matter of a sending more and more of the tissue in the nervous system into that field through these practices and then you’re in the people called The Miracles on you know where things are malleable and you can Channel becomes the real and yeah beautiful so that’s the way I teach people to do it and I have a whole course it’s a 3-day course it’s the only course that I have where it’s only for couples because most of my courses I don’t care if you’re single if you’re in a diet if you’re hetero if you’re gay if you’re if you’re trans I don’t really care I want people to have pleasure and their bodies what I teach is transformation through pleasure and that’s what I want people to have so I don’t really care what their preference of anything but in this course it’s die as you have to be in pairs and as I said if it’s I don’t wouldn’t care if two women did it and one chose to be the temple The Altar and the other one chose to be the the prayer person I don’t it doesn’t matter to me as long as they’re in tears because that’s the way I like it to work for that course but I didn’t Ivan esta trainer I do I work for the when the International School of Temple Arts which is all around the world and we we we do other things which have self-pleasure ceremonies and stuff so you don’t see me as all-powerful once you get once you get the reins on this what’s the NFL would get its rains on this that which is so disturbing and our world that they would these players with no to play and they would contain when they’re not on the field the closest thing we have in modern Western culture to any throwback of an ocean of the spiritual energetic value of ejaculation regulation in Mastery is that notion that if you have sex before a game you will be the source of the cause of the team losing because you won’t have the power to do the place and so they there is some stage of that wisdom in your ear like yeah I applied you’d go for the top level Enterprise’s and institutions and let them have a high point of Leverage to shift the attitudes of population that’s why I for me it’s about infiltrating the music industry and seeing if there can be you know anthems that teach these techniques and Technologies in a way that just percolates through dance and what you’re saying is totally inspiring to me because I think yeah if you can get one Advocate I mean sting I think is the highest-profile I guess okay then Gwyneth Paltrow I believe Rota tantric sex article so you know sooner or later the streets going to get out before find it in whatever way you need it I think I think we’re probably getting close to the last couple minutes here and I got to get on and I just want to say you know let’s I’m affirming with you these magical it’s magical intentions tonight I think if I could put it in a word or in a bumper sticker be put your vision board on your headboard and thank you I thought you’d appreciate that and I’m going to continue to Avail myself of all of your wonderful resources and works and I I couldn’t have asked for a better more satisfying and fulfilling discussion with you and hopefully many more will come and there’s just one last thing I want to say on behalf of Tracy and the religion izing of concha strategy witch and her case is far as I know so I spoke with her recently is very sincere and I’ll text you my I’m so happy and I believe this is the multi-dimensional multi-pronged approach and there’s got to be a point where we all have our own I am my own religion I can do whatever sacraments I want as long as I’m not using children animals or being a part of the mafia then I should be able to do whatever I feel like with whoever I feel like and it should be none of your business think she is going to Pioneer that for us is like what you know so that’s my prayer right now my biggest fear is for that so we get the public policy Tantra the K through 12 you know what you’re doing bringing it into a practical contacts you get the top-level changemakers influencers and then you have people you know there’s some people who want to make money all day there some people who want to be in church all day and everybody can benefit from this so it’s all going to just roll out and we’re going to live to see it I don’t we website and how people can yes everyone find me or wants to find out more planning to find out you can find my two thumbs Tantra tantric tourists and Beyond dinner and you can just Google them I have my radio show which was mentioned sex and happiness and my book sex and happiness and I have other things I’ve CDs DVDs blah blah blah I have a lot of things and blogs posts and articles and my website you can find everything there it’s it’s butterfly workshops floral butterfly workshops.com just go there and you can find it I’m just about to roll out since I’ve decided I’m finally six and happiness coach I’m just about to roll out a new website called sex and happiness book.com and that I’m done that on Facebook and Twitter so that’s all a lot of things I have to do is type in Laurie handlers Laurie handlers that’s also plural and they can find a gazillion things whether it’s a YouTube video about orgasm and seduction or whether it’s you know something I have to say about sex magic it’s all they’re awesome thank you Lord thank you so much I so appreciate it and we will be in touch and hopefully I’ll see you sometime in the future to www.wrenchapart.com can cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to see me and improving the podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been a tantra Punk. Com Thomas Day

Astral Ecology with Tom Denney TPP27

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TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains discussion of sexual abuse and healing.
tom-denney-tpp-272006-strongarmThis is a split release with Tom Denney of Esoteric Origins podcast. Tom’s art reflects a clear lens into astral ecology. We discuss how his art is helping to depict the unseen world so we can better understand the mechanics of shamanic healing. We discuss my shamanic initiation, soul retrieval, and practice of psychedelic goddess worship.
Esoteric Origins Podcast
Tom Denney’s Art

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear Beloved School, Township Punk podcast episode number 27 this is a split release podcast with Tom Denney of esoteric Origins podcast and we talked all about astral ecology hope you enjoyed Namaste alright well this is esoteric Origins and I am Tom Denny and I am accompanied by my wonderful gas today then Axiom then welcome to my podcast thank you very much and I’m to both now there’s a very specific reason why you wanted to come over today and talk to me because you have a very big and important story to tell but let me just my perspective on you as being when I first moved out to LA as we were just discussing it’s been about a decade now I’m about to mm and I met here and we were just figuring out that like in fact it was the Myspace days and it must have been within the first week of me moving here because I had to go to my roommate and use his computer to log on the Myspace and that’s when you messaged me and invited me out to the Troubadour and that was the first time I’ve been to the Troubadour and and got introduced to the LA grindcore Punk scene and from there you are also doing punk rock gardening in Long Beach and you also invited me down there and it was all totally new to me at that time the LA Punk experience is a lot different than Chicago I think it is deeper and more intrinsic and out here on the West Coast I find the punks are a lot more conscientious about recycling planting trees and especially right conscious music and I felt like at the time you were at the Forefront of that because you are actually leading a youth organization in Long Beach that was focused on Recycling and on planting organic foods in on teaching the kids how to garden and I thought that was really awesome so initially even before then that was your in that band they were Native Americans in the songs were about Native rights in such a resistant culture but before that you have gained a level of infamy with Nexium what what’s the history of Axiom because I hadn’t heard from other people that you know it’s weird artistic ramblings of pictures of you all distorted in black and white with with dreads and patches holding dreads where all that came from 14-15 year was that yeah put out a few albums did a bit of touring and headed to a kind of ill fated tragic break up over it’s a long story I’ll spare the details but just some samba Trail happen that was only unforgivable or unexcusable and we had to we had to sweat right and we recorded a full-length album we had to sweet had this put up around that time so we had to read it to we had to let her vocalist go but we recorded it a whole album worth of instruments and it’s finally coming out now so there’s like a fifteen-year-old varied album that we finally got some vocals on it’s about to be released now it seems easier than back then to find this because it’s on YouTube and it’s actually really great crossed music so what was your mindset back then when you were recording and running around and how did you make the journey from that kid to where you are now it was cool cuz a lot of us were heavily involved in local Progressive activist causes and movements and stuff so we’re trying to use it as a tool to raise Consciousness and get punks out the protest involved in DIY projects and stuff so babies in your life so I feel like we were we were running that energy of extreme Utopia and idealism and patching and fire for change and you know as you kind of throw yourself against the system and usually get chewed up and spit out you know after a while and it’s easy for people to burn out and get real nihilistic and just get really over drug downloader you know drinking you know constantly just to numb the pain cuz once you get disillusioned it’s kind of like in The Matrix you know you sometimes you want to go back to ignorance but you can’t hear you sort of twist on so now I feel like I’ve kind of found a more spiritual path of resistance and I feel like there’s more leverage on on the invisible dimensions of reality than there are in the visible Dimensions that are highly controlled by you know different forms of authoritarian systems in agencies and whatnot so I kind of felt after a number of years of fighting on the surface of reality and having a beer a futile because of a mechanical advantage of force on the physical plane that that that the the owners you know the story of the power elite and all of their all of their henchmen you know all of that Empire all the structures of Empire I really impermeable you know toe-to-toe but more malleable astral dimensions of reality there’s a lot more and bigger and more powerful spiritual allies that letter I think starting to come to this planet more and more to help dislodge the disinfection demonic infection that is represented in building empires of male ego that the physical dimension of the people who are in charge of that Empire that you’re talking about the system that it’s in place they’re actually doing rituals themselves and even on the most simplistic like the local law enforcement who are Freemasons where the locals there in the base doing rituals and stumbling entities and looking into the ancient books summoning demons essentially they look up to Solomon and Solomon was renowned for being a necromancer in in in a demon Summoner and that was how the Temple of Israel was supposedly built by enslaved entities on this other leveling and wouldn’t you say that that is the symbol of the pyramid at the eye in the pyramid that there using on everything I personally am try to think like an anthropologist about about all the stuff in the sensitive of them there’s try to keeping an open-ended perspective on things and in so I’m just kind of dancing around committing to be on the same as a fact I try to speak in more inquisitive terms about about these more esoteric subjects you know someone asked me do I what do I think about or do I believe in this or that specific sort of conclusion about about symbols and stuff I’m going to say that as far as I’m concerned if you’re not psychedelic goddess worship and then there’s everything else that isn’t that is mostly Empire because shamanic cultures that honor the Earth and that use Sacramento to be connected to that the consciousness of the planet the feminine life-giving Consciousness the planet whether they ingesting the sacraments or their entering Altered States by some other means they’re essentially protecting and safeguarding their cultures and their there they’re their minds and there he goes from that looming threat of sort of hyper-masculine greedy territorial violent aggressive manipulative Empire Building impulse and so whatever it is if it’s not second of a goddess worship I don’t want anything to do with it that’s interesting as to why you you gravitate towards my art my art that first approached me and in fact one of the pieces that you were talking about was and I didn’t really happen to like that term psychedelic got us to all I knew was that I wanted to draw a very beautiful women surrounded by like centipedes and and fighting off what look like mosquito larvae and stuff like that new is all very I’m not sure where it came from other than to say my own psychedelic like I’ve maybe John deep psychedelics maybe a dozen to 20 times ever but I can’t ever say that like a face-to-face with any of these entities that I’m drawing and I’m not really sure where they’re coming from but you seem to see something totally deeper and I want you to tell me what what it is that you see when we’re talking about this story of your artwork and I feel like what you are transmitting troops from your third eye perspective in natural ability to be an antenna for this some sort of multidimensional perspective on what’s actually happening what was totally invisible to most non artist in non psychedelic explorers are Psychonauts the second is the Psychonauts who maybe don’t have the artistic ability to convey that through drying and then it’s the artist who are the Visionary artists whether whether they’re consuming sacraments or not with the ability to download and and sort of Sharon demonstrate what what the true what I mean I want to use the word Astro ecology and if we if we know as much about Astro Astro ecology as we do about the first lead you know the logical by lighter biological to call on this playing notes of the reality of the Earth then we’re going to make wiser decisions about that you’re helping to bring forth so I just want to thank you for that and I feel like we’re on almost a completely parallel journey of Discovery because every time I have a new psychedelic Revolution I look at your website and you’d like to pick did it already today I was sharing your heart with someone that’s what I just experienced enough and I see for me it’s all just coming from the imagination however a lot of the stuff I do I do really late like right before bed I have an exercise where and when I’m so exhausted I’m ready to hit the pillow I think if I just draw at least two things and then the next morning I’m like these things and it’s a great way to get cool imagery and so for me it’s all just like stuff that’s coming do you know I don’t know where I’m just so I don’t mind it being that kind of Channel the astral realm is that place that you go to when you’re dreaming or is it starting to be okay and okay so I’m trying to articulate what what I believe is a lot of problems with people in their psychosis is actually a parasitic thought beans and I guess a lot of this comes from my research into Hindu philosophy where they talk about these entities that would descend upon people who are sad or depressed and not the whole idea that these entities are feeding off of negative energy and they’re feeding off of sadness the feeding off of anger and they’re feeding off of depression I find completely terrifying more terrifying then inverting a Christian cross as far as like if you want to create some really like cuz I know I grew up on heavy metal and like you know Tron you know what’s even more intense is showing someone that’s actually possessed of these entities who are just an end like any parasite it will feed the I need for that food source and if it’s a spot form and you’re possessed with one of these entities it’s going to feed you negative thoughts that keep you in that state of depression vs. humans have this ability to choose their state of mind and choose how they feel about things and I think a lot of the battle against depression which I feel depression is more of an enemy to modern humans then anyone wants to admit discuss or even approach and I think that a lot of work can be done by purging yourself of these you know and you can call it will it’s just a negative thought for more you could say well it’s in a strobing or you can say you know pull yourself up by your bootstraps and just stop choosing to be sad or stop letting. affect you and once I started messing around with those ideas examples of people who kept coming into my life to show me like Lamas this person if anyone is suffering from this idea it’s clearly this person who like lashes out and will manipulate or you know any of variety of ways in and who idea that there is energy vampirism that that’s exactly what’s happening and you can even feel it when you say on something’s come over me and you just get laid in with this depression that you can even like why am I depressed the sun is out so you know there’s it’s almost intangible and I find myself into battle with that often enough in and so that way I kind of work it out through my artwork and but to hear you validated and say that this is a vision into a real place in and real things that are going on is kind of mind-blowing even from me well you have it depicted on the same vibration of of bringing in the understanding of what’s going on. It’s not a Time it’s not just imagination cartoon mythology you know it’s safe to reality and in my personal experience you know what’s right I’ll try I’ll try to be careful not to make any projections or extrapolate me on my personal experience but it’s me to do the research to try to understand it and to look at different modern scientific and ancient shamanic and esoteric epistemology is really to understand that this is an actual unexplored science is afraid it’s completely afraid of the implications of the can of worms the Pandora’s box of acknowledge say hello world it’s the idea that you can torture animals and have them scream and that be like machines I mean if the death of nature than the removal of spirit from nature is what does Justified the mechanical industrial insulation of all forms of life so to have to be held accountable to St Ann’s on a non-viable level of awareness of this this reality and 54 especially in the way Karma works I mean yeah after I mean the revolution will be a psychedelic Revolution will reveal the reality that what the what do you know the concept of Karma are psyched if you believe that this system is is actually at Play What Goes Around Comes Around you know if she if you if you believe that hopefully you’ll the way you act towards life on Earth and other people on yourself but if you don’t believe that for The Butchers butcher shop they say it’s it gets easier as you go on like the first couple kills might be difficult but eventually you get used to it so you think maybe as someone is doing that do you know torturing animals for the a lot of people benefit from the proteins but the way they do it is actually horrific and the point being that if your continuously doing that do you think it weakens your aura so that entities that feed off of your perversion of this life cycle feed off of that I have observed I’ll try to, and then I’ll see if you want to have a sequential just hang out in staxel events that have given this herd of life change direction in life I’ll say yes absolutely hell growing off of each one of our Energy Systems than you can measure it’s it’s it’s it’s what I am we think of ourselves in the modern scientific medical Anatomy through production in view of the scope of our beings we just be ourselves is like one person walk around if I didn’t if I didn’t you know axe murder somebody today then I’m you know doing all right or whatever but really if you’re sitting all day resenting someone or being jealous of someone or hating someone or stalking someone or whatever you’re doing the waters and you’re going to draw more of the dark entities into your energy field because of what your emanating or what you’re exerting into the invisible space of the astral plane where you can see the Laurel at the lower astral plane why exactly if you do if you’re chronically unconsciously being depressed or being in any way in our thinking harmful or vaping harmful you know there’s a thought do you even and an action in speech you know it’s serious speech and thought and action those of your dimensions of influence of things and energies around you so taking responsibility for those levels and that’s what most of the mystical Traditions are about purifying that so that you can be more of a net producer of positive light energy that’s going to disinfect and create safety and protection around you and your family and your loved ones in the community and you should be practicing law to instead of helping feelings thoughts are are are very important in the waters that were dwelling in that we don’t even realize that we were going through swamps where is like in the real life you know that you shouldn’t go through a swamp because there’s leeches mosquitoes ticks and alligators and for all types of things that you know like to feed off of your your blood and which is Your Life Source but what we would be horrified to take an account is that we’re walking in that daily with unseen elements that are looking to break into our Oreck egg and feed of off of our Essence not just blood related but energy what should Life Source which might even be more important Ray or more expensive than you know if your mind is covered with sores that are infected you know the density of the ecology around what you’re bleeding out and the infection of those psychics or is basically creating a whole you know he’s walking around with like a planet as hell that they are responsible for giving life to its parasitically jacked into and like you said the thought-form entities their jacked into the nervous system and they’re like spammers are hackers and they can give you impulses they can give you 4 version so you can run you and manipulate you and I’ll be the ultimate form of possession is to be completely hollowed out and completely blacked out and to be just a vessel of the the Ellis will that you can imagine and there’s plenty of that stuff opening more rapidly now in the modern society where people are just so completely deformed and fractured that there’s really nothing of of of a of a moral fiber less than amount you say wall that person Solace and you almost say it jokingly like you would have bought a a terrible boss or a teacher or an IRS agent you like, totally soulless so what you’re suggesting is that the human body is just like a computer that can get installed with spyware and and and viruses that are spamming information or allowing outside sources into your home computer which everyone can understand but you’re suggesting that our minds work this way to support their money’s worth honor the directions you call in the ancestors you call in your allies and you create sacred and safe spaces for ritual healing you know that’s really yeah there’s there’s two to turn your back on a spirit world is is really not to your peril mean that’s what the modern world is all. Just ignore the karmic consequences of endless consumption of endless pollution of endless ego gratification and sense gratification that is like out of balance with spiritual practice and charity and giving and generosity the virtues of compassion and when you watch TV it seems like you know the the the people who are making commercials in horror profiting would profit even more from you keeping shut down like that and just vying the next cheeseburger and throwing away your old phone and getting a new one and and staying in this and it seems beneficial to to these hackers you know firewall worms Steven kallman worms in the computer tech world so it seems like we’re walking through this you know where everything is the trying to keep you shut down and and use it as a simple vessel just to shut off your individuality in your creativity what is like you know a lot of what television is is getting you to shut down your imagination and like let me tell you a story don’t think you know MN so many people are obsessed with this while I can’t wait to go home and watch my shows so my programming and so that they don’t have to think and they don’t have to use their own imagination and I think when you are tapping into your imagination which I’ve had the benefit of doing creating a career out of it so that I’m constantly in order to pay my bills I’m dipping into these deep creative Realms which brings me to the same conclusion that you’re talking about it’s all in the movie they lose the sci-fi film from the 80s where they replace those glasses if they use as a metaphor for what I call what I would call like activating the pineal gland you’re able to see is the true degree to which an individual has been invested and whether or not like if you if you consider the analogy of those glasses and they lived to actually be the Psychedelic experience or the use of psilocybin mushrooms for example to activate the third eye that gives you that Periscope you’re physically a periscope into the astral plane and it has been systematically sort of through conditioning through just even the process of being told that your imaginary friends aren’t real or whatever the things that just closed down the exits to the imaginal realm as adults living Mars Society were so big so rigid and so closed off that we don’t use it or you lose it basically use it or lose it so that’s a few tanglez land in the third eye perspective which is you know that every do with the Red Dot on their forehead that’s remember I mean I’m going to be cautious how I speak about a religion that’s not a mistake and what they described as species of demons to fight back and protect you no Humanity in the earth and the beauty of creation you know by the gods and goddesses are airplanes you know they’re observing this sick infection of the planet and the scriptures Psychonauts who word performing you know sexual yoga and an ascending through their nervous systems and through their their chakra systems in working with the Kundalini as it as a medical force it snows it’s no coincidence that the symbol TC on ambulances and rising up real medicine real medicine taking a revolutionary and activist approach to the situation very much like borrowing from the geology of radical leftist critique of industrial capitalism and the spiritual ecology or the Astro ecology where they’re looking at like enter dimensionality in MN under meetings that were kind of demonstrators are depicted as like a similar to these occult Lodge meetings what’s a exploitation of humans and I find priest he couldn’t see the real world but he could see them standing that were talking about now and when did that shift happen and yeah what’s that whole story painful but I spent a lot of time practicing this so I’m going to I’m going to stay where I can speak very clinically about it so you don’t please don’t worry about my you no sense of personal disclosure and I feel like the my allies in the spirit world has have prepared me to to put this stuff on record note 4 for this way really for the first time that we set it up and establish this this discourse very well already so they do this this could now start to make sense to people and I will make this is this is how I arrived there personally and because you’re the artist of my dreams you know who I would want to manifest the ability for you to be able to depict these these pivotal experiences in my life so that other people can avoid the pitfalls you know this is like you know I had to I had to send into the hotel rooms in N Go in shamanic journeys to to pull back in to come back with the understanding so you know it is his fault but it’s not in vain and and I feel like it needs to be told and depicted to prevent future misadventure into the dark Realms you know that’s that’s what that’s what my goal is by sharing this so I’m just going to really not put a lot of analysis into it and not really put a lot of it’s like I’m higher level thinking into it and just try to stick to the facts and the actual depiction of the scenarios as as they happen and then we can you can kind of ask me more more higher-level thought questions about it later so I’m so here’s the first scene let’s say that to pull it together I’m 13 years old I’m a street on living on a skateboard addicted to intravenous methamphetamine and my brothers have peer pressured me to start turning tricks to get drug money for a little Street try and Brotherhood and you know I hit it. I did not know what I was getting into I had no spiritual consciousness or training I was letting you know I had some interest in psychedelic Shamanism and I was actually not wanting to get swallowed into into the hell Realms I was seeking the mushroom there that the acid pod do the Psychedelic shamanism let me say this experience of the spirit world that you would get from Amor Amor maybe not asking but at least a plant-based hallucinogens as what should I take to relieve tension being on the street was too exposed to get away from the last key home look like that I hadn’t to find tribe and I found punk rock and so I found you know family in that where I didn’t have it at home and also started to break down the Illusions and of the American dream and start to develop a radical Consciousness but also had the desire to to explore the spirit world and to find the source and to find the ancestors into feel the Beauty and the and the love that is one of the Allies in the spirit world that will not heal Austin want to give us you know infinite love and power to to heal the planet so that was my intention was to go there but it was derailed and sucked into the Dark Realm of meth prostitution prostitution in San Francisco as a thirteen-year-old because of being screwed into what was the dominant drug on the street you know they are punks they were Agro they were violent you know and and it wasn’t just the booze you know whose it was and it was a real misadventure that I strongly discourage anyone from Filipino from continuing or starting on the path of using those drugs and and here’s why and then this is where we get into like something that would you know pop out of one of your paintings and I don’t think you know this is this is this it it’s it’s painful and grotesque but it is part of what we have to own about what’s happening on the earth and it affects all sex workers and all you know models and anyone who’s being used it a piece of me for sexual gratification by anybody you know if so so here’s the the nuts and bolts my soul was shattered after ordering multiple days and maybe weeks of basically being brainwashed in in and raped by demons you know inside and out to being drugged unconscious and basically made you know into a sort of Satanic ritual abuse object of of extreme these were just John to or picking you up picking up a 13 year old boy in San Francisco Giants and some of them were very like just sort of nerdy guys who probably didn’t get laid in high school and now they’ve sort of falling into a trap of this and this sum you know Darkside activity but they weren’t dark Lords of the Underworld who were the you know manipulating children on the street to be in there Cults and do whatever for them right they were just like normal professional people who had this dark side Shadow nightlife that they would go down in an indulgent but what I’m talking about in this scene let’s say is you know very intentional very highly demonic sort of high-ranking demonic infested possessed men who were like actually intelligently using black magic sorcery to to to rip open you know young and I was a virgin at the time so you know my soul was shattered before I even had made love to a woman when should have been my preference from an astro perspective of being lap for Days Inn in sort of melting in to the other side that these demonic possessed men were actually not just having their way with me you know sexually for their own sort of getting off purposes but they’re possessing demonic entities were actually open the chakras protected web and and their larvae into my energy. And this was the act of infestation you know of my energy system and is almost as a form of like black sex Magik surgery of them Plantation and am I saw translucent spiders come down from the walls and I do know then I was blacked out and I don’t even know you know now really what what else mechanically was actually done but that’s just one situation either had I have been sexually abused and other contexts even earlier in life and and how many of us have had to and so there is a movement around Rites of Passage I sit on the board if you passageways which is a network that focus is squarely on you no Rites of Passage for you coming of age from all different walks and and and modalities you know some of them are our Boys to Men oriented some of them are girls to women some of them are starting to incorporate non gender binary kind of approaches as well which is good and and this whole focus on bringing back the ancestors into looking at Rites of Passage is is starting to happen and something that I focused on and so that’s that’s a resource you know people can go to youth passageways. Oregon and look at what programs are out there and they can also think about how they can add to that list and bring in things that are needed around especially around sexuality and relationship which is often I noticed kind of a big gap in a lot of programs out there you know because they’re confined confined or constrained by the conservative values where they take place and you know what school system is you know this is one of those places lagging for that kind of thing so it’s a role that I think that many people who understand the need can step into and cultivate as career paths you know and some people are pig figuring out how they can weave their credentials says on Sexual Health Educators or sexual therapist or sexual trauma or no trauma-based therapists you know into this realm of initiation and that’s that needs to happen on a on an increased level the other I see a lot of because of what I was saying around looks really don’t how many Avenues to learn other than through you know what the books in the workshops and offerings around sexuality thoughts unfortunately are not rooted in in people’s only need two lineages generally speaking you know so the whole Tantra movement is pretty much so you know a cultural appropriator of New Age fight version of those Traditions that would have been squashed by Christianity especially and so I think there’s work to be done there and as much as possible Retreat retrieving reconstructing are reconnecting with our own ancestral Traditions which I’m sure you know had their own knowledge wisdom around how to how to raise healthy harmonious individuals with healthy sexualities from from the vantage point of how what little I do know has been has been done in indigenous cultures and without wanting to appropriate for them from them I’ll just give way of examples out of that you know in and certain cultures that are studied like the Mayan culture and I think to some degree on certain places within Creek culture there’s examples of how as societies you know that the children are raised from an early age 2 reach a point where they understand how to how to harmonize with the other sex and how to to look after each other and that’s just a very basic principle that I feel like you know that’s that’s worth kind of learning how to integrate into our family structures if we have children that were raising just to keep in mind that you know there is a need for them to learn skills around things like consent and around being responsible with with one’s sexual energies and and I needs to start before they reach that age of adolescence where they’re just harder to connect with if you haven’t built up that Foundation so that’s something that I think about will do you so if I if if we check out that the organization that you mention is it would that be good place to find and something like a more enlightened or more conscious like sexual education curriculum or guidebook do you know if people were working on something like that so if I know if you know parents who were going through the puberty of their child that they have something that’s not just this cold clinical Western and even though that sort of evolving a little bit you know with things like a sack didn’t and whatnot I see a lot but the The ancestral wisdom and you know the ceremonial Rites of Passage you know how does it how does the Modern Family say okay well you’re about to start feeling you know hormonal Energy’s how do we give you know create even if it’s just within their family or their Community yoga or whatever is something more than what’s being offered in the normal sex ed or what they’re listening in gangster rap music and watching on sitcoms obviously you know it’s enough for lack of lot of alternative options it’s one one place to look and we’re always looking for others so whenever we discover something then we will see to auditory resources and we are trying to vet those resources and those organizations to make sure that they really are you know at least there’s some some level of you know safe recommendation that we can give for those those organizations we’re not we’re not in the position to really kind of completely you know set standards but we are trying to we have a code of what we call it a cross-cultural protocol so we do look at that aspect that you have for what we’re talking about that’s you know if that’s another layer that we will hopefully get to eventually and I do know that there are people within our Network who are really strongly focused on this particularly around girls to women kind of education and and Rites of Passage and some of the Boys to Men once but I think it’s also something we need to to enhance as well oh that’s great yeah that’s that’s that’s what I wanted to hear so that I can just refer people to this ongoing and so and then the LSI is kind of its there’s a Facebook I’ve been interacting with the the Facebook group for a while so is that something you recommend people plug-in I mean that’s the goal of that is to feature blogs and generate discussions from those blogs and also to establish a resource of services as well as information and so that’s you know running on in a very limited volunteer capacity and so you know it’s something that I hope will eventually become a very powerful resource but already it’s you know it’s been feedback that I’ve received that you know even just the the group that we have on Facebook somebody posted recently. You know it’s really help them in their in their path which is nice to hear and I’ve heard that a few times and I try to curate that group in such a way where it’s like you know it’s trying to generate discussion and it’s it’s trying to be a safe space where where people can get into some of those I’m intimate revealing is of what what’s going on in their lives one of the things that kind of came out of love sex intelligence local as a connection with Tamara and the love school that they have which is a very congruence philosophy to love sex intelligence and they’re their work to try to create or with to create safe spaces for people to to share stories of what’s going on in their intimate lover sexual lives and and B witnessed in a way that is non-judgemental where they’re not being flooded with advice but more just being witnessed which is kind of connected to that whole framework for Rites of Passage itm witnessing each other and so it’s it’s trying to also look at how you know communities can succeed in their in their goals which might include you know like being more sustainable or being an alternative to the systems around us and also being a part of a more peaceful kind of culture through filling this hole that is often where things go wrong where people are are are not feeling safe to talk about these these human experiences around wounding around are our hearts and our sexuality so I’ve been part of a Practice Group here that has been circulating also to other parts of BC and I think it’s a really it’s a really powerful movement to be a part of yeah we’re getting close to an hour or so I have to take a few more minutes and I’m get a couple thoughts and feelings some responsible for 1 something that his is coming up for me that I think it’s really empowering is this like idea that wouldn’t it be nice if some of us started to think of ourselves as aspiring Elders I’ve never thought of it that way until this conversation and there’s a little spark of joy and me that that says you know puts in context the the punk rock lifestyle that I had of live fast Die Young and just you know if it’s not throwing yourself into the meat grinder of insurrectionary activism you know with this sort of Death Wish you know this martyr complex or whatever it’s like those are really unsustainable archetypes to follow and they leave a lot of people when they get to my age in about 35 like in a sort of existential crisis that will the revolution didn’t happen and I didn’t get killed I didn’t die in the gutter you know I mean what am I going to do now and it’s like well maybe it’s time to become an aspiring Elder and you know clean up your act and and then start to think about how you’re going to make it easier cuz I there’s a lot of things that I had to go through that I would seriously love to have no one else ever have to go through and if you know if we can live in that. you know that is what you’re supposed to think that I think of you say you know you can you can learn from the wisdom of Elders who have gone through and made the mistakes that you’re probably going to go through or you can just be hard-headed and learn all your lessons the hard way but I mean we’ve had to learn a lot of hard lessons in the absence of the eldership but I think if we take on that there’s a yeah me too. It seems obvious but really the way you put it his medicine for me to think you know it’s a dignified path to be an aspiring Elder and then it makes you not be so how do I can help you defeat that that that grinding pressure that oh my I’m going to lose my looks and I’m going to lose my energy and I’m going to be in the state of deprecation towards death and that’s very much the greatest fear of the western manicured Uno photoshopped airbrushed identity like you’re not really giving any hope that aging will be of any benefit in here just marginalized further and further so I thank you for that serve very much still give that time sacred eldership dignity not a light title to hold I think the true Elder wouldn’t really feel comfortable in it cuz it’s defining attributes of an elder that is really one that can help that role be the best it can be is one that is is really accountable is really present isn’t so on the move that if you can’t you know be relied upon to be there for the people that it serves now needs to ideally be in the in the fellowship of other Elders to kind of keep it in in in check in a way like we have to watch for the Cole group kind of phenomenon where people you know place a lot of weight on that person and in a way that can privilege them in certain ways and also lead to potential like power distortions and things like that you know it’s it’s only human that people will make mistakes and so having that kind of accountability of other people and also that time yeah you have people heart or a different there’s always like in every phase of life with the lifecycle there’s there’s like the maturing phases and so there’s like you know there’s a baby elder there’s enough adult Elder and then Senior Elder and so it’s just we have to learn at each stage of Life how to become the mature version of what that stage is and says just something to think about as well and it’s good to to get your feet wet early on in life so that you know we can have deep roots and and the and those are the kinds of people to like in the Tamara situation out of the black community they have a circle of Elders who are basically people who have grown with a community enough that they know the people in their community and then they serve a role as potential kind of like the Matchmaker but you know in a way where people can approach them in and ask them like you know I’m interested in this person and they can help you assess whether this is the right time or what is a good or bad idea and you know they can kind of that. Whole courtship in a way that you know really I think I wish there were more of those people around here don’t you let me relax you know learn the hard way what does that we’re just not compatible certain people in The Matrix the I mean yeah I’m not I’m not a political scientist of the Matrix but I will say that what got me peaked on the ecstatic trance dance group ritual ceremony festival thing was it really when I saw I think it was maybe the second movie or maybe it was the second or the third but there was a scene where they’re just getting down to like Juno Reactor I think was a soundtrack of a butt there is something beautiful about seeing the different the warrior culture Guided by elders and of course there’s different the archetypes playing out in Conflict split that to me was took it further than then the Star Trek Federation is a futuristic Elder guided Council guided kind of reality so that was kind of fun but yeah so that’s what came to mind when you’re at we’re talking about that be so cool if you’re early sexual oracle’s who you go to you know if we’re going to give you insights and maybe even have name your child for you or something cool like that you know be so cool but right on then will I worry about at the hours so do you have any closing touch you want to share or any other resources or should we just I’ll post the the links that you mention and I’ll definitely encourage people to stay informed and keep an eye out for your anything coming up you have any appearances or anything exciting like that coming up you want to mention I think yeah I think I covered a lot of it and I just wanted to maybe plant a seed while I have the airwaves here about something that I’d I’d eventually like to work on presenting which is around insert Intercultural relationships and also decolonizing our relationships as well and just thinking about how how we can heal some of these ancestral traumas and use that has as as a means to strengthen our relationships and also our society right on I’ll be looking forward to everything that you’re you’re expressing in the world and I hopefully yeah maybe sometime in the future we can talk about skill sets for Beyond Christian monogamy that would be a great topic so yeah how would you feel about that maybe we can sometime in the next few months follow up with something like that. Maybe by the by the time I’ll have more of a personal lived experience to a base conversation around that I think you know in terms of people who are already I don’t know how many listeners here are on a Christian spiritual path without that many but if the energy and gnosticism and sacred marriage not going to the alchemical top in the in the Gnostic tradition but I I wouldn’t make any claims to be an expert in that area but it’s definitely something to look at cool alright then we will be in touch and will follow up sometime in the future and thank you so much so be I really enjoyed it and I know it’s taking us a while to get this to get this done but I think it was perfect and I couldn’t ask for anything more so you have a wonderful day. Take care and keep for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and if you want a podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been at Contra Punk. Com Thomas Day

Punks in Recovery with Craig Lewis TPP10

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tp-craig-lewisCraig Lewis is a Certified Peer Specialist living and working in Massachusetts. He has struggled immensely with mental health issues throughout his life; however he has successfully transformed this into a life of wellness. Craig is successfully working as part of an outreach team in Boston, Massachusetts. He also tours the country, speaking about his lived experience, sharing his struggles and triumphs to help others.

Craig has authored and published the Better Days – A Mental Health Recovery Workbook. Craig based the Better Days workbook on his personal life and recovery, and every page has been used successfully in peer group settings. A Better Days support group facilitation guide is currently being developed as are Spanish and French language versions of the Better Days workbook.

Craig also has edited and published You’re Crazy Volume One which compiles first-hand accounts of people from the punk rock scene who live with mental illness, addiction and trauma. A second volume of You’re Crazy is in the works.

Craig can be contacted at: betterdaysrecovery@gmail.com

Please take a look at Craig’s websites for more information about his books, projects and events.

 HTTP://WWW.BETTERDAYSRECOVERY.COM

HTTP://WWW.PUNKSINRECOVERY.COM

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast episode number 10 I’m having a discussion with Craig Lewis who is very heavily involved in recovery from trauma addiction and other mental illnesses from punk rock perspective and he’s got a lot of great resources that he’s putting out and is really doing a lot of great work in the field so hope you enjoy the conversation and take care of Namaste welcome Craig to The Point podcast and meaning to connect for a while I’m really thrilled about the what you doing evolving in the punk rock movement and and mental health areas and if you want to introduce yourself what you working on your projects and give a little bit of background we’ll go from there my name is Craig Lewis and I live in Salem Massachusetts this is right outside of Boston Adam 41 years old I’ve been in and around the punk scene since 1988 when I was 14 as a young person my life was quite dysfunctional I didn’t really realize that at the time my parents really intent on having whatever issues we had in our family you know identified with me as being the issue on their parents went from Boston to talk to the doctor to try. has somebody agree with that I was I was meant to be unhealthy and ultimately I was put in the hospital and spent you know three plus years and Adolescent group homes in residential homes and hospitals and you know I got out of there really unprepared for the world and I spend time with me until my mid-30s really just very dysfunctional and and I know how unhealthy I was I was I was on vacations for many many years. Causing a reason why I was so sick and NetSpend spent so many years has Peyton laws assures and doing is Ian playing in bands and I was always chronically ill the entire time and not not not do to you my undoing I was I was I medication I now know I never should have been all that actually caused me to be unstable so it was it happened and I got some my mid-thirties and I really hate my life and I I’ve been working on it ever since so ask him and we haven’t played out yet or called rapid cycle and hopefully we’ll be recording and playing with the last couple months all the songs about recovery and wellness and fighting the good fight and I’m trying to be the change in the world that I had to desperately need for myself and that I feel is necessary to make the world a better place especially for my people who are people who really are marginalized to this will have identified personally at the margin life person and people will buy both of the struggles and I really getting a nice Matt so I feel myself very dedicated and committed to doing what I can to make the world a better place in that regard over the years I’ve become Michelle theer I went to school I became a peer counselor of a certified peer specialist which is the actual title that I have and I got a call to the green Human Services and associates degree and I’ve been feeling different jobs and I’ve been the same job now for almost 4 and 1/2 years in a couple months where I am working up here call Claire team helping other people with live experience with benzos drug addiction trauma learn to cope with their struggle so they can have a happier and healthier and more satisfying life and as I continued my attention toward improving the quality of my life and making more healthy and and really more informed choices about what’s right for me in what I need to be near happy healthy and and well and it’s a side of my life I realize that there was really in the punxsy in the country has been going on since I was 14 when I first got involved even dictionary, and really any issue you can imagine it’s really foggy that I was involved in all sorts of conflict and problems and I was really out of control and I realize now that I wish I had some understanding and empathy and where I was guided toward you know getting help that would be effective in and beneficial to me and so I would suffer last and have less conflict and ultimately I didn’t really get that and I was really nervous or to be dysfunctional Duty garage if you know poor living standards living in squalor you know how many years as I’ve been that was almost acceptable yet for me it was just contributing to my my chronic mental health El Hardcore Pawn Canoga Park whatever I don’t really care about the labels very much but it’s a lot of it but still had history and never at maybe I wanted to provide a forum for people to talk about their experiences so that they could really going to be understood be heard yelling and be treated with no epithelium and and patience and really and you know you have so many of us end up kicking around lives and so many of us end up self-medicating or guide used for a very long time and we lose lots of good people to you know suicide in overdose and and Reckless Reckless Reckless living that results in an acid issue that’s not it’s not been addressed and I feel like it must be talked about and I really I just came up with the idea to do the plug and go with a transient idea at first and now it’s a book and now I’m working on the second volume in the car for contributions is out now do I speak around the Country Inn & in Canada and hopefully I’ll be able to travel around the world speaking about my experiences and and if that’s off recovery and dealing with trauma and all of the important stuff to me in and they’ll probably be rain have going on as be better days a mental health recovery workbook which is something that I came up with a Spotify and internship when I went to school for to become a peer counselor and it was basically a support group curriculum that I have people responded to and people benefited from what I was going to bring him to the the group each week and they have really no training and I doing that kind of work I I seem to be a natural and as it as it worked out after usually given a group in different places United jobs in as of altering as an intern to try to put together and took book form so with the help of some. I get the book put into book form and now people are ordering and Beyond in the UK and Ireland in Canada and Australia can I see my life was worth the life of struggling and lack of opportunity that I really just not to come into my anger and I got a question is it it does exist within me and I really committed to doing my part to I don’t let myself up out of poverty in and lack of opportunity in and financial struggle but to also know my people my people are people who have been marginalized in whatever way they treated poems about society and and and denied it a Crime Stoppers in these are just treat dignity respect and I want to help those people make sure they send their struggles are there any cooking skills so that they can look happier healthier and more satisfying lives and it’s my life it’s what I do 24/7 whether I’m at work or not that is how I live my life and I try to have all my interactions you know the it potentially real vehicles for the moment sore I respectfully dignified and communication because I know how personally damaging to be treated like you’re not worth you know if I owe someone else and you’re not you know where the inside of respectful treatment stuff that’s really my life that’s what I do and you know punk rock and metal all of this stuff really comes together it as being the core of who I am and and and what I’m trying to achieve in this world to myself and also my community in the world in general and that’s my Direction that’s my drive and I’m going full steam ahead so I know they have it I left his hat thank you so much! I cry so beautiful and and I can relate to a lot of different aspects it makes me think I mean I went through the cool cycle running away I ran away when I was 12 and then I was in and out of institutions in became a ward of the court and bounced around to different homes in placements and whatnot and for a few years and yeah just long stretches in different places and would generally end up continuing to run away until they got me they got me locked down hard for about a year-and-a-half at one point and and I really got the gas before it LOL several times I was forced on medication and I luckily I was able to convince them that it was not helping me and I didn’t continue to force it down my throat but yeah absolutely being a victim not only has to societal like Mental Health crisis that produces the different types of problems people have but also be true caged in with with with other Pino’s like extremely extremely mentally disordered traumatized other other people other kids you know and then I was actually just I was not clinically myself anything other than just mildly depressed as a result of being stuffy nose like I didn’t I didn’t have any extreme conditions just at the time they they just wants everything everything if you’re a juvenile and you’re running away and you you have drug problems you’re just sort of put into the same funnel institutions as minors with severe behavior problems and stuff so I got to really yeah I have a unique insight into the policy and institutions in and all of the all that sort of stuff and I did a lot of work books and I was put to the 12-step program went to 90 meetings in 90 days in head sponsors in yeah was put through many many hours of of different types of as therapeutic modalities and most of them were pretty most of them has he was very critical is too interesting to be like an anarchists and a punk hypercritical nnn aware and being forced to say you’re never going to see the light of day again unless you completely can form the ultimate Conformity this isn’t just what your parents think you should do if you have parents which I pretty much didn’t miss my father abandon me and has there been in the family when I was three and my mother was pretty much so busy putting food on the table that she was so emotionally unavailable it was rough going through all that in the end going from a totally unstructured environment where there is no Authority and then getting into punk rock and going on the street and finding family and tribe and being really initiated into a tribal subculture and then unfortunately being dominated by severe addiction and violence and alcoholism and stuff like you’re saying it doesn’t it’s riddled with with pathology even though it’s our best hope in a lot of ways though it’s really important to be helping it evolve and grow to be more supportive than have more resources in interesting me it was people like you that had probably the most affect an impact on me when I was going in and out of Institutions that because they’re always seem to be like at least one post-punk angel that would be that would gravitate to they see my boots and my Mohawk and stuff and then they would they would kind of give me the secret knowledge that they said they were punks you know that had gone to school to get a social work degree and so they were working in these institutions to kind of get there a minimum hour requirements for certifications and stuff so they would always smuggle me in Punk record send zeins I say most of my in my most quality education and in in the punk rock movement was the CCM Elders that would that were working in these places that was secretly be able to pay myself have you found other like have you kind of built build some good networking done some good networking with other professional Punk oriented social workers and clinical psychologists in I’m not a social worker or counselor but I have gotten some great networking and I do know a fairly decent amount of social workers and I also know if punk rock to your counselor and also just threw out my travels and you know the website to track a lot of interesting people and the call for contributions for the book them doing brings in a lot of interesting people as well and you know my professional mental health workbook by many people in the severely jitomate you know you got this was one of us and that’s really a lot of people that they needed to show respect of us are considered mentally unhealthy cuz we’re inside sorry. Or because we are unique we have our own style of dress or own way we were here and so many people in the system especially going back to the past several decades now remember 25 raising their face so a lot of people are treated badly because they listen to Scott and they had their own beliefs that said a child that won’t inform them you know just simply telling you this information doesn’t make it true as punk rockers and people with with strongly develops a personal item has a run but how do we get out of society where people could be respected and treated with dignity that many people are just considered mentally unhealthy because they have is s r e l a lot of people do that and you said it talk about the vehicle cheats for their other the color of a year how they know that really pushes people the way so I’m sure if you have an experience that person you know what I’m talking about and medic medic see this is a chronic courses offered at 3 to do this kind of work and dye made from and being accessible on Facebook through anybody who wants to chat or talk if I have time and show me people who want to make the world a better place and you want to get back to have this this like this deeply rooted desire at your house from Concord to they got at the punk rock yes of course cuz I lied to her right difficult and Andy were looking for a place to be who he always loved being judged 11 also really have this desire in this need to help make the world a better price and summer squash down by Society in the system and and that it’s really hard to really good blossom into the person that you suggest Lee want needs to be and it’s not going to come across people like that all the time who really didn’t know that I could get better but you didn’t know that these kind of jobs exist and if you can get trained to do this kind of work is it absolutely amazing relationship and what I’m doing and yeah that that that in some ways that makes you sad that people have struggled so much just like I had struggled so much and I never been offered that information and then once I got even the tiniest bit of information that was possible I took that ball and Iran Iran Iran I’m still running and life getting better certainly You know what last step of this is that odd thing is that I do not get shocked by some of the very troubling things you see when you do some kind of Human Service work so it kind of gives us an advantage and you know be able to connect with people cuz we get the violence and we get the trauma we get to substance abuse and we get the the you know by the police or something it personally are we know of it in the other thing I wanted to say about that is that on McBride catch my train of thought War II was that people from the punk scene you know people who are who are in various police and police about you know turn is Amanda autonomy and mutual support I mean what is more punk rock and what is more alarm at those believe that having a role where you provide Mutual support to others who are struggling and to be able to have that in my professional life where I work as a peer mental health counselor but also have that in my personalized my social life when I meet people when I travel and whoever right she was on the phone and just got over being part of your people who described, and they actually what I’m doing is providing Mutual support for people when does Cabarrus situations where they can be really like I have a very very much in line with my beliefs of you know supporting each other and to Build a Better Community Building others better world so every day and it’s awesome and there’s way more than anyone knows and I want to help create strength in that community so we can all United in and also identifying the people out there who are allies to us whether they have the experience or not or whether they having to go help you know Spirits are trauma or addiction experience you’re not that allies the people who are also working Human Services many of them try to do this work a better place you know for their family member you know they make things better so I can also recognize that allies also that sometimes to a better because we protect ourselves and sometimes it’s because we we blocked at beneficial to us and I want you to just got back shed hear that that some allies or many allies are actually quite that they are allies to us and we can work together to make the world a better place and help each other and I aware of in the news or any you know anything going on so some people are just good people and whether there will come soon and not leave certain political ideologies or not they can be embraced and will want to embrace us and doing the work we’re doing and people here that because so many of us get pushed away and we naturally build up defenses to protect ourselves and it’s important to recognize that we do that could be of help to us and we should try to use our best to intuition I who those people are and see what we can come up with me see what kind of changes or improvements to our lives that we can wait and then approached with making the world a better place in different healthier for all of us right on. Yeah I totally feel that and if I’ve been on a similar path feeling like the nihilism and pessimism that’s sort of built into a lot of I mean if your punk that’s of a persuasion of just total apathy and eyelids and then you know when you come when you get into the the Revolutionary or insurrectionary activist modality of punk and then you get your ass kicked in the streets and you can’t be friends go to jail or you go to jail whatever you just get bludgeon and demoralized and disillusion and you said you had hope and now you’re actually more traumatized kind of like in The Matrix you know if The Cypher you know he wants to take back the disillusionment and just to be blissfully ignorant again and I think that we’re going to probably the punk rock element coming into does the social science in clinical psycho psychologie in of this kind of recovery and stare. Work I think they will end up introducing some sort of clinical terminology for the the condition that is becoming too too aware of the totality of if you when you start to look at the karmic consequences of living on the back being in the first row living on the backs of all of the ecologies and in economies as the other nations you know that are under the bootheel of of the West and all that you’re not just solving your own personal life family Karma and traumas that we’re actually living carrying the weight of the world here if you never if you’ve never cared about any of that stuff in your kind of just more of those completely apathetic Southampton pain it won’t heal still never affect you that that pain in that sense of responsibility and a sense of not being able to be content just fitting into society or just fitting into the sort of fashionable scenes and stuff because you’re like no I need to be resisting the size as my conscience has been awakened to the this expense entire Global disorder there’s so much additional, wounding baggage to inherit that that that disillusionment but then there’s also the gift within that of finding a sustainable way to be resisting and fighting back and you know but doing it figuring out a way to actually actually expresses your gift you know and end in from like a kind of typical spiritual kind of using thing as soon I was fine when you’re in you’re when you’re in the zone like if everyone who is fine is what puts them in the zone that’s a positive constructive creative self Transcendence you know purposeful activity weather is gardening or doing you know writting or writing poetry or doing volunteering or whatever it is if it’s something that’s not just serving your narcissistic ego I was just not going to get you very far but something that is help genuinely giving back in serving and it is something that you enjoy doing that’s where the real internal Pharmacy switches on and you become your own organic psychiatrist that medicine you know know and have a more and have a such a a reason to find those gifts in a reason you know to like we don’t have to pay once you get disillusioned and switch Sean you have to you can’t really sleep at night knowing that you’re part of this giant monstrosity of exploitation you got to figure out how to become more locally and regionally self-sufficient and sustainable and and how to make you said create Mutual Aid System all kinds of overlapping layers of mutual Aid so you can start to have more Independence and autonomy from the systems that are really perpetuating all this stuff so yeah I’m totally hopeful and in excited about about what is going to be like as you know we make the world a better place for everybody and his future Generations role in but also particularly with our own server tribe you know like I can imagine that honey I’ve started want to dedicate my life to making the next generation of people who do get disillusion whether to punk or whatever else give them more constructive and more sustainable ways to express that rage and to resist in ways that don’t you know get them in really trapped the way that I’ve been trapped in and peer pressure to do things that you say you know in certain ways unsustainable El Paso weather most people I believe who are being treated for mental health issues or trauma or addiction a mental health issues or addiction generally has to put a trauma either alongside what’s going on with them or has precipitated it and so when are the judges are made in the documents it written and diagnosis it diagnosis are given the trauma ask that’s what you may be the main source of the dysfunction or perpetuated or or or or Nursery in a negative way that the difficulties we were having or how we coach is often not even addressed during the whole truth, is the major component and often I just had precipitates you know the real the real I just kind of struggles who are basically labels and put in the box and told you this label this word is in this box and I’ll just medication in that this is your life is now it’s going to be and you know no one really care so that was my experience it’s a lot of parents that also wanted to say that I know we talkin about we we certainly have to acknowledge that this parts of the punk scene is people in the punk scene who absolutely have whatever reason I have a very apathetic stance I don’t care about politics are you know making a change in the world and in a way that maybe ice I might see our our our potential to do so however I think it’s also crucial pieces mind but also when we interact with others as far as finding common ground to meet at and not just compared to some people who are already feeling shunned or themselves from others for their own safety and that’s that these individuals to are very apathetic and you’d call him and get gas pump whatever we call them I mean something happened to them experience something like that maybe they were extinguisher made it more complicated for them really I mean we’re all the products of what we’ve experienced so individual for a community really must also be validated for the fact that they’ve experienced something real life most of what we don’t know about we have not had that conversation to add to this weekend we should be more empathetic and understanding understanding find common ground which would then reduce the result of individuals who are anti whatever it is we’re trying to do that you know Progressive so that are the way they are they do things the way that you would just say what they say because of their experiences and I would go very far as to say that in many situations are most people who acts in ways that are disruptive are or are against what is the collective real good reasons for doing that if if I don’t like it leave if you don’t like it or it’s not helpful to society they’ve experienced something in life that is informed them do to protect themselves or that manifest we have to acknowledge that that’s possible or potential explanation and when we do that we let me extend that massive amount of epithelia people instead of judging them in condemning them in and then you don’t know. and have their license because if that’s how it’s going to be and we can make that really at most empathetic wonderful decision to ourselves apart a to not engage that negativity cuz of that sells down and park Beauty must one another must one of us empathetic things we can do it’s not get into it with them and it is somebody is being destructive are there getting drunk out of his colon causing problems that are causing fights or whatever it is we get nothing out of it nothing out of well-being and wellness and Medical Health Center perpetuates already struggling struggling and suffering even if they’re wrong with me even if it’s wrong someone else do they care about that’s contrary to everything I believe in care about whether that means having really politics or whatever it is I understand that people are the products of their experiences and we do the things we do when we adapt and our brains and our minds how to defend ourselves to protect ourselves and I can get that I guess that very deeply as person lie and we will all be much happier if we eliminate some of that unnecessary conflict cuz it gets none of us are getting pissed off and alienated from our communities or from the community which really we all have a much more in common as to how she even with each other then the differences I wanted to make that clear that that’s really where I come from on that comment about you know that is this sustainable living and living a healthier Life by not impacting those who are less LIRR the providers of a lot of our services and and foods and ends in a situation that existed as many people want to be treated right in my my actions don’t always make decisions that are the life of those people who know I cannot directly speed at impact and I want to just put on the record here that I’m aware of that and I want to be better about it recovery of struggle and just keep myself going there today at the massive full-time job as I think you understand as well and maybe the listing will get and I have work to do to make sure that I can have left of an egg impact on those in the world that I can’t see your hair at night I think crucial to be accountable for our word that our actions and that’s something that overtime I hope I can make more adjustments to really be able to be more to adhere more to my beliefs of a really not harming anybody and I’m glad you brought that up because it made me realize that yes I have a lot of work to do as far as living that life that I believe would be beneficial to all of us if we’re able to actually apply it in the garage for our lives to thank you for bringing up that point and I’m grateful that you share that and it was in this conversation describe reconciling differences between the different camps in punk rock if that’s what’s so amazing in in in well stated and even going back to Axiom days and I was just like a teenager if your right eye it was a lot of lot of conflict a lot of some sort of psychic and even physical conflict in show environments and and scenes and stuff we’re more energy was spent fighting each other than fighting assistance in a lot of cases and I I think I honestly secretly was envious of the the Hedonism most of total telepathy and so there is jealousy there and envy you can’t be no be having a good time cuz I’m pissed off cuz I’m studying all this stuff about how the world’s screwed up and I’m going to make you more miserable and not acknowledge your the truth of your life experience and there’s this whole very malignant growth of the people that hyper intellectual elitist view PC vs whatever street punks are cast bunk’d whatever and then and then and then they rebelled against their like hey we got because we were sick of rules and now you’re telling us we have to have all these rules fuck you you know it’s Dynamic Anna and I really obviously I think she has somewhere in the middle is is is the middle the Watercourse Way you know it’s like between the extremes of Pleasure and Pain is you know where we want to have a baseline of homeostasis mentally and yeah I just wanted to throw out the or ask you if you have any thoughts about the pathology like the Psychopathology of of being the feeling like you know a lot of the more conscious or where people using that as a way to put people down and actually yeah add to their wounds not acknowledge where they’re coming from and I mean I don’t want to name name names of particular movements that I think has the issues very kind of full-blown but I think you can imagine how they’re are you know they’re really just morally Superior elitist and that is more division more ego foundries and stuff and not likely not actually changing either really engaged and lots of call clicks then it all back then what was called and that never should have been there really hard dry Community Honda other people I slid in the other than my spells and very very unfortunate and I really was desperate for percept insight as I said I grew up in group homes and I didn’t really have the kind of life that that would have really prepared me for the world appears and you know what I was very much my maturity level was was it over the years and I was traveling I really called by the barriers and tell the conflicts that didn’t need to be there and I suffered a lot and if you looked into it and and you know it to the late 2000s and what I really begin my recovery process and you know I miss you guys but hit rock bottom and it was either liver die and I chose to try one last time to get better and I’ll be starting to get better than me really struggling through it that I laid it happening is an interesting someone I want to share this cuz it won’t hear the last thing about that is that the with you that the people who buy and most in the most contempt from and the most abusive toward me what are the people who are the PC pumps and tanks and the elitist you know ya 2000 error get out new hardcore punk Center that pumps and I mean completely different person will not allow me when I when I when I really I recognize that the PC and all those people were not my friends at all and really did not give a crap about me except I was a good L I was just fodder for the for the internet message boards that the people who really embraced see people the people who are the people who you know you know we’re all grown up punk rockers and and and Let It Go who works in a PC who said things that like you know harmed and Ed Embrace fully and with no issue and many majority actually of the PC and just send me an actively participating and end in not treating me well and increasing with disrespecting a lack of understanding and it’s just that people who are you know very much in the PC crowd anarcho-punk crowd and all of those people that they have reasons why they stick together that way and that’s how they express myself and I think most of those people are very insecure and need to be a part of a pack to be able to feel feel like that’s what I don’t like how I’m treated sometimes and understand that people do what they do that kind of life and I’m not going to condemn them to it looks like good friends are not from the PT anarcho-punk Brad they are people that a lot of people might not necessarily has the best picture say about Grace to me I’ve been supportive and nurturing me it was there for me when the very people who like and I work really take responsibility for me what does beef to make peace and I’m really generally you feel pretty comfortable you know people don’t know who see my issue I don’t I don’t take it personally realize that people do and say what they do because they had experiences or whatever they had going on their life they haven’t spoiled them to act that way and I do my very best that I’m not perfect I make mistakes but I do my very best to embrace that reality that people act in certain ways into things to say things because of their experiences and then I’m not going to feel bad about it and lock it up. I’m going to try out that at the reasons why and I may not have any idea what those reasons are and they have to do with insecurities are or like mob mentality but really doesn’t matter cuz I know I’m better off into it and they want say what they want and you know what else we going to get up and be healthy life and grasses that those people left my life or are they want to embrace me wholeheartedly and it’s very interesting that that this is what I experienced as I continue to experience a punk rocker you can imagine and if you want to talk about giving the and that’s good enough for me and doesn’t matter to me is there a PC pong or chaos pong or a skinhead of whatever variety or whatever because whatever reason walk up to that talk Siri speak about my experiences of what I’ve been through and I like them in my life better that tells me that they get it we have something in common and that even a society as often to devenish answering people for certain things that they say and do I don’t want to do that I want to stay on estate I embrace you because I recognized that whatever it is that would also saying about your battery this is that is that really you just suffered he had a tough life and things weren’t fear and you just do the best you could you survive and treating people badly or say horrible things but I understand all that stuff all over here is all those decisions are directly impacted by Twila Paris and at things that happened that I can’t possibly know about and I’m not going to condemn. Just like I don’t want to be condemned by others as I felt so much in my life being torn down by others and other people so very complicated social life is complicated your boss seems a very specialized Punk scene that is pretty much you have to understand that you can have a cheer like crust punk shows and whatever they called TV now and I will spare part of this crew in this guy’s not so often is so sexualized but I try to get the gauge of anybody who wants to talk and I don’t really care healing moments of the saying yeah I get it you’re fucked up I get it it happened so you want to do what do you want to go from here to honoring appreciating sake so cold so cold more like Street Punk kind of Cloud V I was just checking with anthropologically studying different shows and you know during all over and stuff and there is something sacred about the circle pit and that that that’s Been to Spain by Spinoza different more old-school types of pumpkins where you were there and that’s like a really it’s like a it’s like a putting the the mind on spin cycle in a washing machine is this total punk rock group exorcism I study Tantra and and different Pharmacy you know spiritual Traditions from India and China and stuff and it’s like purification and releasing you know the the energies that are negatives that attach to a sin that act like vampires and want to create more misery and suffering in the world and our happy tooth are you happy to disguise themselves in a variety of different ways people are just accepting and tolerating this extremely toxic amount of negative emotional poisoning that is going on in them in their bloodstreams constantly with all of the Slime Wars on forms and stuff just all of this on cerebro and disconnected from the heart like just noise of conflict that that that just becomes this norm and you go into like an activist meetings or even like a house meeting at a supposedly enlightened you know Community House Savannah kiss or a ton of people and people are just waiting to tear each other apart and just create more more hell and more suffering and and Mori girl in more Agony and around all that stuff and it’s nice since I’ve gotten into more different esoteric Traditions that acknowledge you know that John the human psyche is so sort of inhabited space where the things that are making our lives hell or actually like discrete entities are organisms that are subsisting off of our energy and functioning on a plane of existence that are not visible to our to our normal five senses so with psychedelic Shamanism in different forms of deep meditation and even like with Tantra is it did the use of sexual energy as as a medicine for purification and in as a way to like this loss exercise these energies these entities Better Living inside of our energy Fields this is an interesting Dimension that I’m really getting deep into bringing back I think both of us have spray and stay out of the sort of punk rock ghetto to seek answers and health and healing for Purcells and now we have gifts that were bringing without any agendas or authoritarian elitism with it but it’s hey this work for me check it out less judgment Less elitism in criticism and write this is the scientific directions that I’m trying to take the clinical psychotherapeutic or psychological approach to a lot of healing traditions of the East that are more symbolic and not even just be supposed to say traditional pre-modern shamanic modes of healing where there’s an understanding of the spirit world and that human beings are basically extremely vulnerable and extremely defenseless especially alone if a human being who is estranged from the orb of healing love light energy that is an intact tribe or Village of people living in Us in an intact natural habitat that’s the molecules of human mental health a baseline of mental health and it’s it’s maintained by shamanic practice tennis go to mediation between the negative forces in the spirit world and his desire of human populations to maintain a state of homeostasis where we’re all loving each other from birth to death know everyone has a purpose everyone is is given sexual access and affection this age appropriate and is abundance throughout their life and then the physical materials security and ecological security is there because in our traditional past as hunter-gatherers you know and then and its various forms of Horticultural societies you know there was at intactness and a couple minutes and then you just literally don’t see the some massive pathologies of organized Warfare and violence then suicide and incest and all these horrific pathologies to the shaman it’s the infection of weekend populations and weekend individuals of these demonic entities that are always there and always Genetically speaking cracks and fractures in our population has been in our individual minds and when drama happens cultural trauma or intergenerational trauma of all kinds we basically become so weak and in so susceptible is like we have psychic HIV or psychic immune deficiency and we’re overrun by these demonic entities that it’s just they’re just happy to disguise themselves as as our personality so we identify with them and say yeah I am this label and the the really hyper elitist intellectual cerebro activist movement people and I was one of them I was really like sharp so I could really hurt people with my voice you know I could really make people feel bad about themselves and so I I was addicted to that and I was totally ignorant and in delusion about it because I thought ya and this is how I’m healing the planet and I’m making a little better place mean well I’m basically becoming an instrument of that same negativity going to like you said and you know some of the stuff is like really complex or esoterica you have to I mean I don’t think you need to face to explain the spirit world I think you can you can have a second traditional psychedelic shamanic ceremony of experience and and have a have a complete visual understanding of the impact of of different of these different things that are attached to a string attached to her thinking and basically pushing Us in farming or negative emotions and that’s getting closer through this Renaissance Inn in clinical psychedelic research studies for the restore of the medical youth legal category 4 for II LX has a different kinds we’re getting closer to this sort of new germ Theory which with which wood with when a microscope with able to with able to discover basically and implicate microbes as the source of of infectious disease the Psychedelic perspective is like the microscope for the for the psyche and for the the sort of structure of the invisible structure of the larger human energy field and being able to look into that and study and explore that with this cool as the Psychedelic medicine is giving giving us an understanding now that can be really revolutionize the the mental health industry and be able to say this word for instance when you have that perspective you can actually see that these medications that people being drugged on the pharmaceutical industrial complex is like spelling and pushing people are actually weakening people’s physical and mental immune system so that they become susceptible to even greater degree of infection and that’s where all this really extremely psychotic side effects are coming in and because we still are in a medical cert is impurity that it ignores the spirit world biggest say that all those are just eating disordered neurons that are somehow being bumped into by this chemical but in fact there’s too much more Sinister thing going on and that you wouldn’t the punk rock mix. Silver Lake West Bismark fist anti-religion anti spirituality total denial of the spirit world because we’re so traumatized by religion you know it’s taking me a long time to relieve have to get a new education on like what what mental illness it really actually is in it and how Commons in various cultures traditional look at these issues in and crying your help for them I see now that what I was blind to for many years that I just accepted because it was I was so blind and so diluted like everyone else in the PC World in the activist communities words if you bring a shaman into an activist meetings in and just have that woman or man with a sketch pads close their eyes scan the room with their third eye and make a sketch of what they see well all these people are just fighting over these Petty semantical things just extremely nasty Eagles assert assertion that is not connected to the heart and not acknowledging the the Oneness and this connectedness that a deeper level that everyone really has not really listening to people when they talk and just waiting till like Karen down with that actually appears like from a higher dimensional space with the people who are trained to be able to operate as surgeons like surgical Exorcist in that space with are going to see is that these people have become habitats for extremely nasty creatures that are able to hack into and spam their mind stream like you said and I need that negativity that grows it’s alive and it and it has is a dimension of an organism make a live Anna Sun another another dimensional plane of reality and so if you have zits and we just don’t we because we don’t normally see that we just take it for granted and just let it run everything and that is exactly what its agenda is and I love what you said about how like yeah you when you when you get so brutalized by that experience that you seek the heart and you go and find the people who didn’t have that type really Destino way of being and they are the ones with Open Hearts that are actually creating space or people that sit to accept each other and like not Take On The World and unsustainable Morley ABY this way but just try to be good people and try to do less harm and be present I had the same the same Journey I really appreciate that and I’ll come full circle back to the end yeah and it’s a PC struggling because people just really want to feel strong and secure and empowered and and this country through all that different things that happened with the military being in Syrian control and and media control and absolutely true pharmaceutical companies which you know I’m not I’m not going to I’m not going to sit and some people benefit from their medication and some don’t know I’m very careful to not say you like I’m either a medication because I I do take the summer off and not entirely sure that I needed and stirring trying to taper off and I’ve already had two doing up sometime but I want people to be able to feel I want to hear that it’s okay to take steps to help yourself and you know our society has is very much very pressuring and very forceful and raised. Smells like Menthol and very unforgiving and I want to get people to know that you know when we are faced with the trauma and addiction that we can serve ourselves and support those around us and helping others make the most informed decisions about how to deal with what they’re struggling with and I wanted people to be careful but can getting medication cuz some people may benefit from it and others can disagree or other and that’s fine I respect those people to a lot of people the reason are Jarritos hurt less than that and feel better and be more stable and successful in life in life and it’s really important for me to know what it is and just because I believe one thing about how to deal with things with my life doesn’t mean that’s right for someone else and get the best thing we can do for those people and I spell it does appear as a friend as a community member I thought you would make the most informed decisions about what to do about their struggle what to do about their information possible to decide to make an informed decision on what they want to do and what major should I choose may be different than another that person might choose to take medication and and meditate and exercise and another person might choose to you no good acupuncture and swim 5 miles a day in only eat a certain specific diet and and go to your house with another person like say I want to see a therapist but I want to only see a psychiatrist who is under the age of thirty who’s recently trained at school and University of the newest techniques has been informed about recovery and information possible which will result in a much better prognosis I think I don’t want to say that take religion III come from a fairly impressive religious background night my feelings Jewish and you know I’m always going to recognize that is 70 benefits from being religious spirituality and of course we recognize that our religion can include spirituality and not be religious so I do respect this Puppy Bowl at my work if you believe in God and pray and you know what I validate that and that’s going to help him get through the day even if my opinion of that help or not may be different it’s irrelevant because my job is to be supportive and helpful. I was really like to believe that God was just this thing I was going to help me and gave me a Higher Learning very much the hard way that that wasn’t the case I’m an atheist now or maybe more like a tent again you know I respect that people do what they do for whatever reason and I don’t want to condemn anybody for making a decision this different than what I believe as far as will you take medication or not you believe in God and not for you or you just help yourself or not even say it was that you mentioned a few minutes ago about your Chanley aware that you’re into that could be used to really cost I don’t want the one I used the wrong word but harm to others and I’m well aware that I also have that similar but I know that intellectually I could use my knowledge and and words to just guesstimate somebody because I am as you can probably tell from this interview station skills that I understand this stuff and I have in it select that will that will allow me to really be that way and I have to work very hard when I’m upset at people or angry people to not use that that little part of my brain that to be so Sinister and malicious because that’s not how they had to live my life and I have to be aware that I fixed her and think sometimes there’s a person with trauma in the struggle that I’ve had that it could be easy to let go and just want somebody to what I consider valuable in my life preserve and including must not in anyway you don’t go looking for complex and must not in anyway participate or feed the fire of a college because just because intellectually I could be an ass yeah man oh well yeah I think we definitely has a lot more to cover and will continue you know what other dialogue I’m going for sure and yeah I think I really like the inclusive shirt of the words you’re using I really empowering to to you know open-hearted and inclusive and accepting I want to acknowledge it is as you said very important to accept everyone where they’re at and I like what you said just getting to the Dayman really that that is what we’re all trying to do and and I see it’s the under that they say namaste acknowledging the Divine and everyone you see and and your similar likeness to them and really speaking at Divine and all things and in keeping your mind open to the truth it’s difficult when free sample we’re taking on these things the pharmaceutical. Show complex yet there’s the Paradox that you can’t just take it away in and have nothing there and you can’t make someone feel bad if they don’t have an alternative and maybe you know it’s it’s it’s a transitional saying it’s going to take a long time to take still took ten thousand years to create this absolute planetary disaster it’s not going to be fixed overnight going to take a long time to heal and and I think the the best thing that we with the punk rock ethics can bring to all forms of whether it’s psychiatric or do differences as a therapy and healing and Recovery is bringing the ethic that itch I think your people should professionals who are providing service should make a living and should be and should be to make it an honorable and decent living that Society acknowledge is the value of and help support and and that ultimately with Society valuing the work that you’re doing and the stuff that I do and other people then it can become more accessible and more available and with more severe access and it’s me know if this capitalistic hierarchy of wealth and privilege and access you know everybody is suffering we all need love and so there’s no so there’s no substitute for Love Is No Love in a pill form the love has to be through the relationship with your community and your family and your you know your romantic Partners in a nature and spirit and you know the divine all that stuff and there’s many different from weight Pathways and cultures are actually like bun all these different ways to have a have entitlement to access love and meaning in connection to the things that are going to keep us happy and healthy and yes we can bring more access than more fair opportunity resources It Whatever all this interventions that that are maybe transitional that we’re having to work with you know whether it’s the pharmaceutical medications or like you know for example you’re flying to Peru to go to the Amazon to spend weeks or months then beeps your vacation ceremony with Ayahuasca shamans and stuff like that that even as transitional because that’s not really sustainable or or local for people and it’s very limited access to people with privilege the punk rock’s. Let’s hack this stuff and Liberate the Technologies and make people in power with DIY Solutions you know and and and just make make it so there’s there’s that we provider on alternative options that are more affordable and and more you know have have integrity to whatever we choose minimizing the feeling of spelling out to anything that we don’t feel like we have integrity with everybody’s fighting a battle and we’ll all be a lot happier when we don’t contribute to perpetuate to that person’s battle or the suffering and instead if we can be understanding and empathetic and choose to not further their own suffering at you not bring us something to the effect of suffering you know we have that control and we must make that choice for her to do what’s right and I’m trying to help bring that that that that way of thinking around and make you go to listen because I believe that happiness and satisfaction for everyone in the world I mean I just wanted to ask if I could is there a website for people before we say goodbye today yeah please do and how come people follow up and get ahold of you thank you about one of my books is called better days and mental health recovery workbook which is a pump that you just people coping skills and the other is a book called you’re crazy which has the first volume at 27% accounts of people from the pump being who you are talking with her experiences with mental health drug addiction and Trauma currently have to call the contribution volume to are you crazy I just have to include people first hand accounts being mean and dealing with addiction and Trauma www.com Center calvary.com so www.bunk1.com and other coping skills workbook can be found at BWW bettordays recovery.com but it is recovery.com and there are sample worksheets and. Seuss on that pays you can download and see for yourself in if we might benefit from coming off my benefit from it at least turn them on to it thank you so much for this opportunity that has been great to speak with you definitely look forward to speaking with you again soon in the future and I’ve been my honor and pleasure to speak with you as much love and respect and up the punx else will talk to you next time to the touch of Time Podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and improving the podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Township Park. Com namaste