Tag Archives: stis

Born Positive: Transcending the Stigma of HIV and AIDS with Shawn W TPP222

Play

Shawn W Pic

In this episode I was blessed to hold space to hear the deeply moving story of a born HIV positive man. He shares intimate insights into how various institutions within society can bring out both the best and worst of the human soul. He’s endured, survived, and transcending immense pain all while pursing fulfilling and nurturing sexual access,  true love and acceptance. It was a sincerely humbling honor to learn of his struggles.  I feel invigorated to continue to grow and evolve and support the acceptance and empowerment of all oppressed and marginalized people.

About Shawn:

Shawn W. was an awkward 80’s baby born in the wilds of Florida with one goal in mind: survival! Hear about some of the crazy adventures he endured including sex, drugs, and living with HIV.

Instagram: @awknerd

Hacking Group Romance as a Porn Director not a Cult Leader TPP200

Play

In this episode I’m joined by a mystery guest for a wild comedic adventure into the repressed caverns of my erotic mind. She holds enthusiastic and giggly sacred space for me to get on a roll lamenting about the current state of monogapathic culture. She helps me get through a lot of catharsis in exploring my life history of drama and madness surrounding opening up to more inclusive group sexual and romantic encounters. With her gracious support, I’m able to take liberties in the manner in which I share some of my most passionate and taboo-breaking fantasies. With care and consideration for ethics and holism, I attempt to induce a few laughs as I graphically depict my experimental designs for hacking group romance.

AI Generated Transcription:
(Want to help with corrections? Please contact me to learn about rewards for your efforts!)

Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin pillow their beloveds welcome to Township Punk podcast episode number 200 I just got back from an East Coast tour with the punk rock metal band and I’m thrilled to say we had a great time and did very well and I made it back in one piece and this is an exciting episode 200 Extravaganza where are some of my backlog recording this and this was one of the one of my favorite ones that I had to choose from for the episode 200 and I think you will really Joy it is definitely something different it is it is a my first summer unintentional extended comedy monologue with a a wingwoman of sorts and she’s holding space for me to bring forth into a level of of hilarity that I don’t normally I don’t know don’t normally summon and don’t really feel as is often appropriate but once you get on a roll when you start to really stimulate somebody’s Funny Bone verbally then it’s it’s hard not to to just run with his so it may be offencive it may be a little over-the-top and in that what we’ve come to appreciate about that classic stand up comedian form is that you’re able to get away with exposing truths in a very heated very sometimes aggravated state of mind and people cathartically get off on someone else saying what speaking out there are deeper taboo thoughts so if this is the first episode you’ve heard of mine it is definitely uncharacteristic of most of the rest way I tend to joke here and there but really really typically try to be pretty reserved and really focus on a I’m more of a dialogue with a guess this in this case it’s it’s almost completely One Direction all but her being there is absolutely essential in order to get that Dynamic flowing and it certainly in the sense of Comedy it really helps I don’t know how people can just write write comedy in their own inner sanctuary and not have that that reverberation in that that feedback and and dynamic but anyway this is a lot of fun and what we’re talking about what I’m talking about. Manly and she’s helping hold the space for me to really mansplain in an unethical way really is talking about the the bloopers and Antics and Folly and what I’ve learned from attempts to hack this notion of group romance and really learn from a lot of mistakes and really create sort of personal interpersonal living breathing think-tank research experiment out of how to best overcome the limitations that we have in most modern patriarchal monotheistic minago Pathak cultures where our options are very limited and our experience and Expo are two other modes of loving and healing and relating romantically they’re completely systematically cauterized by these Disneyland archetypes of monogamy and whatnot so I get into the higher level kind of macro cultural analysis and critiques and then we get into a lot of really fun really absurd ridiculous and playful visual kind of comedic audioporn take to get through some of the designer ideas of how to how to be hacking group romance and I’m really this is it from my perspective a a male centered male-oriented you could call it phallocentric you could say I’m being a chauvinist here but really I think it’s about making sexual gratification in the feeling of love and connection amongst people be as egalitarian as possible and really work with what you have within your your orientation your identity your group of friends and just explore those boundaries and really gamify group romance and hopefully this really stands is a introductory Treatise on why it’s important to explore these things and what the the payoffs are so hope you enjoy it this is definitely for me one of my top favorite episodes of all time because of where we where we get to in the end of Vibes of it you know I hope that it leaves you rolling on the floor and also curious and also emboldened to take more adventurous steps in the future of your love life all right thank you very much if you’ve been with me along waist episode 200 thank you for for being with me and enjoy this historic episode thank U Namaste and they would not be comfortable with you hacking the storylines of of compulsory monogamy and telling stories very festive stories about what it’s like to like not be in patriarchy and like it she does she know yeah that’s what good for sale teacher reflect a picture or no one’s happy everybody’s miserable and just whining about it new relationships breaking out and being her and then just repeating the cyclist over and over is very defeatist like cry about level of times but at least you’re feeling something at least you’re not a total sociopath narcissist like don’t even care spending to steal it self-inflicted stuff too cuz you just like wanting holding on to like the painful stuff I guess we’re like people that aren’t making like the best for you but it’s sad and it’s like Basin and being married and being screwed if you lose that Financial Lifeline life support so there we have listed this is the in permaculture design Geoff Lawton and it likes to use this teaching to a witches that when it comes to like agriculture what you’re talking about gardening earlier today but it’s like this so if you only plant one crop in a field that’s a lot like fishing with a single line where they know that if that crop fails or that line breaks your your your Sol and so the smart Fisher person would say I let me fish with a net so that if one or even several of those lines break with internet I still have a functioning device here so that’s what you could systems do and that’s why polyculture in gardening and Horticulture polyculture means multiple different phrase things as opposed to monoculture so you can make this analogy very happy to monogamy and monoculture and still what’s resilient in an ecosystem diversity right the more diverse ecosystem the more resilient it is the more flexible adapter is in more abundant and flourishing it is so monoculture monogamy monotony it’s and then that’s why people are living in this wounded heart broken real disaster of a reality and it’s just profit people that make the Laurie handlers cuz it seems like I’m she said in her podcast if this was a easy the country cafe or sex and happiness she said to podcast over the years she makes an excellent point that she’s over his doesn’t not interested in the heartache that sells and wants to crack break your heart open to love everyone pretty much and to have new experiences and to be open to new experiences and so have a very regenerative heart and I would like the concept of being a heart Gardner so like I’m trying to I have not just one heart that I love her that I tend I have a garden that I attend of many hearts and some of them need more attention at times some of them you know every more self-sufficient some of them could tell me to get lasted for cough and don’t even want want me like even looking at them and everything in between so then you know being a heart Gardner and trying to keep them all alive and and not neglect them and be responsible for like letting them Blossom letting them rot on the vine either you know anyway so there’s so much to learn and so much to sing about so sincere singer I’m a singer we’re going to think about this stuff. We also actually I need to have experience to know where the fuck were talking about so that’s where we begin with what where does the authentic Journey actually begin and that’s where we and I just watched Breakfast Club where they were it’s like this painstaking process of socially engineering the truth out of what how and what circumstances virginity was happening or not happening so we all have virginity is two different things even if we popped her cherry City this week so so we’re at the precipice of The Virginity of your experimental lesbianism is it a few dedicated to your not identified as a woman now what do you mean what I mean is that my I’m very interested in the notion of you having sex with a woman if you if you want to sit at one point I was very blunt and I asked you and I risked I risked being considered a British attend to try to do that so it’s basically asking if I’m if you’ve ever had if you would have ever had sex with a woman and if not would you like to and you said you would like to but you like to what you say roll around with me first right I think that’s yeah so that could be arranged so basically you know that’s compromised that’s that’s how you have probably that’s the beginning of it is like what do you need what a minor needs how can we meet in the middle somewhere and so well this is what is so interesting to me and what I am going to share is like my design concept that I put a lot of effort into trying to figure out which is this is that okay if we really break the stuff down what we don’t have what we have a lot of experience of as children is being gently yet with with I would say lowercase authoritarianism weird we are compelled by adults to share toys and we learn against whatever maybe that jealous or envious nature or selfish nature we learn to to actually eventually Delight in the gift of sharing something with others so that we actually realize that there’s this abundance of my face you know it’s not like hopefully it’s not like you don’t eat the toy in the toy is something that doesn’t get destroyed after one use of the toy I’m so that you can hand it on and and let other people experience so what somewhere along the path of puberty we get program to lose that fundamental sociability and Collective position of like the toys that we would be sharing on the playground and once we develop and grow and have her own public Parts in appropriate age appropriate settings to explore Inn Express in which we all know is lacking in this culture and that’s why we have abusive all kinds cuz we don’t have rice passage and we don’t know when we are to do wet when howl with himself in a healthy way or holistic way I should say so we’re we are fumbling in the dark trying to figure this stuff out and somewhere we get cursed with these imprints of monogamy that is compulsory compulsive Naga me bound up in Notions of being a prince and a princess and all of these socioeconomic status oriented ways of like something being mine a person me owning that person this status symbol so there’s I’m not saying anything for you know this groundbreaking to indict these memes and this culture architecture and you know they have spoken to like many people feminists just look at feminist anthropology in the critique of domestication in the in the critique of civilization and patrilineal descent and the the the the way that wealth and land and power is handed down from a meal bloodline Emil name Inlet that’s why you control you would need to control the female sexuality and reproductive freedom in order to guarantee that your son gets your land in and not someone else’s so that’s that’s the patriarchy connection and we want to what super tall that perverted and silver and actually compost the patriarchy is she so I don’t think there’s a there’s no there’s nothing more subversive then then then opening up relationships because once you start buying less because old do do we need to each have our own garage filled with tools from big box stores or can we all share one fucking tool set amongst us all lovers sharing each other’s bodies it’s not rocket science and it’s not rocket science way they have made it so difficult to be relating sexually openly with computers with a peer group and neighborhood of adults because they want us all to be in our little boxes buying one of every that have everything and not sharing anything and therefore it cuts into their bottom line so we are doing our best to compost the patriarchy to be subversive and actually have a lot of fun doing it it’s not a dip revation and sacrifice to have more fun sexually with more people it is a little bit more requisite of time for emotional care and tenderness for sure it’s complicated and it is and is medically important to be but if it’s as if you can play any video game that you play any board game you can gamify Sexual Health in a group you can end in the end not to do bring it to the light and be like okay well we match here like literally HSV expressing in one part of the body can match to that and another person other parts of body and you can pretty much pretty much know you’re safe at that point there’s there’s ways to gamify these things so that you know curses can be blessings in yet make it very used that’s who we need to design the user-friendly interface for people to connect and 4 shame and not even just the end of course the STI status stuff but also people who just have body issues about so we can be mixing and matching his stuff and yeah. There’s an app for it kind of a thing you know in this world so so we’re getting there and you know you pull the card and you know people who so it will and that’s why that’s the reason to do yoga so that you can hold these sexual positions forever because he like baby words said when a man basically two pair of fruit to fear fear for his baby Ward and I’m mixing a couple of I’m adding a couple together of her if you’re beautiful phrases but basically if I were Davey word I would probably say something like if I if I was balls do you know when your balls deep in me I want it to last forever I want your penis in my vagina forever and I can’t Rainman how to make that possible and actually there was a good scene in Jerry Maguire where she asked for him to she’s don’t ever stop fucking me in a kind of like kills the mood when he says I think I’ll have to stop at some point and then they fucking break up with a douche no sorry to tell you I love you tons hear me okay forget about it Interview with the Vampire okay stop me somebody for the cold water on me right now all right yeah it was Saved by the Bell you is just batteries going to last all night long you’re you’re you’re getting okay so it’s yours work as graphic this is where he’s going to get more perverted this is building it up so building and Outdoors like what is it why does this matter that’s why why am I trying to have so much fun packing monogamy and the shame and the pain and the jealousy and the limitation it’s just it’s false it’s completely insane and in deranged and and I will not tolerate it for one more second my life and in that spirit I say I’ve done the boyfriend-girlfriend thing I’ve done in monogamy thing I’ve done a jealousy thing and then a hard brake thing so if somebody enters my life and is attracted to me I go out how this is interesting erotic energy flowing in my direction how can I not manipulated not abused if not not not heard it or harm it but actually let it flow through my little garden design of more pleasure and then also this is the thing where I feel like I’ve made an important hack an important this is because this is been going back to how we learn to share so this is as an adult with adult content adult appropriate settings of course but really bring it down and that’s why I am a huge fan of psychedelic sexuality because it inhibits the neurotic aspects of the ego and if you’re going to trust in space and you have referees and you have good guidance and going on in people are observing and being Sheriff’s that to the boundaries when the people are you know any in there Altered States but would you with the beauty of it is that you get to explore again and you get to explore bodies and he could do store your own body and it’s not a story about who’s owns this and who’s rights to this and fuck where’s all the paperwork and did I swear to it tonight so that’s and it doesn’t have to be an orgy of people fucking very sloppily very carelessly when you get into the tantric practices of massage wherever it’s about it’s really the best things really happen with the most intentional experts killed manual and leading up to of course different forms of penetration with genitals but it’s underrated how much how much pleasure and how deep deep healing we can be with their hands with each other in and really there’s no excuse not to be doing that cuz you’re not going to make babies and they just called outercourse or mutual masturbation went on so that’s where rather than rushing from first base to second base and all of that hyper rush to the Finish Line stuff fit culture this culture is trained to do you actually can start out saying okay it could literally be a fun and fulfilling and safe Friday night for a group of friends 2 take each other to take their clothes off and use their hands to induce different types of orgasms in each other consensually and into explorer that and so that’s where I say the games of politics becomes like whose are you fucking that is long as you if you if you keep that off the table a little just long enough and this is what so at what I have there is like a Zone that is safer emotionally and medically to play in in groups to actually start to rewire and meltdown those belief systems so that you have a clean slate in in your capable of exploring slowly and building on the new Pannu template that you design and we’re very plastic a blank brain can be reformatted we can 3 format is hard drive as many times we want there’s no limit to it and we were it’s absurd to think they were stuck in a 2000 year old paradigm I’d rather be in a 200,000 Euro Paradigm cuz that’s where the real phone was happening anyway but we’re going to get to the Primal Anarchy of lovemaking groups in just a minute now so break here’s how we break from breakthroughs goes invisible prison cells in our minds about monogamy and so I figured it out like how I would like to conduct a ceremony words like okay this is my penis here and there’s people that want to play with it and put it in different parts of their bodies and hopefully have a good time with it and if it really like Gibson gets them there and brings them there and then delivers the goods then they will become deeply deeply addicted to that experience and Anna on a level that is that is beyond any extreme passion of any terrorist has any ideology the amount of passion that and I would say a woman from in my experience the level of chemical spiritual just that’s what we should be living for men who love who love women is like for them to be taken so far out and so far in that they will want to kill other people who take threatened to take that experience away from them I every other women that you’ve ever known that you might never know so that’s where we have this conundrum which is like it is so good like I want you to be obsessed with me but I do not want you to be obsessed with me you know cuz that’s right cuz I’m going to kill myself if you’re not obsessed with me but I’m going to run away from you and run into the street if you’re obsessive me so either way I die do you know yeah and I had to run in the street to avoid women who are obsessed with me and it’s no joke cuz otherwise I would have thought they didn’t love me if they weren’t a homicidal maniac it’s right so there’s a way to disperse that energy and it’s like oh wait a minute he’s fucking me but I’m making out with a woman and looking into her eyes and who do I lose what it oh my God is I don’t know who is fucking me right now but it feels great and I agreed to it like I signed off that anyone can fuck me tonight with this and that and this so like I don’t know who to write the check to you know what I mean like anymore it’s just too much just don’t stop so I’ve been there and I’m never going back to the the the hell rounds it is about diffusing that pleasurable experience across so many different Souls that it’s impossible to Tribute it to one person and really I believe that this is not an astoundingly long wide penis that I have that I think is perfectly shaped to do what it was designed to do and I’m happy with it whatever yeah I’ve gotten good reviews so far in life women who wanted to kill other women because they were so possessive of this thing that it’s just like always wants to do is just be warm and wet and love them that is so I have a beloved partner and you know I would kiss your boobs goodbye and tell him to be good every day knowing if she was like why I never did anything bad to anybody ever and I realized that was the pure essence of innocence is Brett’s cuz like you can never say that they ever do anything bad to never manipulated anybody they never play games with anybody they just give and give and give you know so anyway that’s another story if we could only all aspire to be as innocent as a breast but never do anything to hurt anybody ever never had to be told to be nice just what is nice you know x-ray sexual Zen state that people would have to meditate for years if they didn’t eat mushrooms to figure that out like become a breast and live in the consciousness of breast in this and just experienced pleasure and give pleasure and don’t fucking overthink it you know it as long as everybody is of legal age and sound mind and knows what they’re signing up for essentially we can work out the details but I’ve been in those moments where it’s like yes what’s making this woman lose her mind and ecstasy is 80% the emotional connection with other women that she is sharing and then I am there to be basically a prop to the beautiful. Theater of feminine understanding and that is when I understood For the First Time The futility of women trying to squeeze blood from a stone to make bullheaded dumb men who would rather be playing video games or breaking shit or glowing sit up or doing something fucking mindless and heartless for fun and just acting them and making them be a woman when they’re not a woman because they can’t explore sexual intimacy with other women because they’re afraid of the taboo of lesbianism and because it would be against the rules and whatnot so when melted down and was in a sensor Moniz were psychedelic ceremonies wear them all of these stories were melted away and it was just women in fucking ecstasy the agony and ecstasy and using my cock is a prop but also as an energetic current in a source of love and that my refinement was allow me to be in that space and I realize that it’s like it is so cumbersome to be responsible for a woman’s orgasm in a love making session why would I want all of that burden on myself it’s like I have to at my age I have to think about not coming too fast beat not losing my erection and in trying to make a sincere emotional sincere present connection with the person who I am kissing is with that is enough for me to have to do it now I’m responsible for her squirting and I like coming in the same say when I saw the leveraging of all these other women and how freely flowing the orgasms come when the openness in the connectedness is there with other women so so like I said I’m not taking a step back and now if anybody wants to come at me they’re going to have to go through that that ate a form of of grade school of learning in or black ass like that you’re going to come at me do you want to fuck me you need a black belt in loving me to get in and if you go into any Karate Dojo they’re not even said hey I want to do what you do can you hand me your black belt right now please here I’ll give you a beer can I buy you a beer and then you give me a black belt no stupid you’re so stupid Bibb so what was the quote from the movie UHF which is very a so you definitely watch UHF to understand where my sense of humor comes from but yes I’ll good good so so we’re solving this problem and creating these designer experiences and so what I realized is that the impulse for a woman to have this one-dimensional relationship with a man’s cock so that she wants to possess it so as you’re a very own the way for me to logically very very simple-minded lycee what is the how do you prevent that is to say well you will learn to get to know my cock at exactly the same time as another person and you will only have a 50/50 relationship with whatever you do you say like you would with your best friend and I had her saying in people may not like to hear me say is cuz it sounds good feed it to your best friend first feed it to your best friend first and I didn’t even think about the secondary effect of that which for me that was just that was just like I’m going to know that you’re not going to lose your mind with jealousy when you can just say here actually you can I’ll let you go first so that would be the the the tantric taboo test of transgression against yourself like that Siri you’re going to lose your mind will feel into that and start simple we’re going to dance together and you’re going to watch just that and is that make your blood boil what happens after your blood simmers down do you start to like so now it’s like whatever that point is where that demon comes out of jealousy you were going to rub the shit out of your clit until it goes and tell you what you’ve you become a demon Whisperer with your clit and me and everybody just wants to create more and add more locks to the fire and you transmute that negative emotion into a positive motion and then in the probably will be called conversion the opposite we don’t have a word for it we do not have a word except for that one which no one knows it set designer neologism but we don’t have the band singing about how good it feels to watch their wife get fucked by Adam Ant And so yeah here we come back full circle so we will be so we’re going to we’re going to have these experiences we’re going to sing about it and and so this is the this is the what the the the climax of this conversation will be in my opinion is is when I talked about how the it’s not just a theoretical Gaiden guiding principle to say oh yeah we’ll will like yeah okay you flip a coin and I have sex first with the person who wins that round and then I stopped having sex with you and hopefully it didn’t lose my wind in 5 minutes cuz I was so fucking turn on by the sexy after they all I got another $5 and it’s over for me for like they’re already like forgot every system anyway cuz they’re tearing each other inside out and everything and I’m just watching and trying to like make it come to live again and finally it will eventually but you should know I’m getting That’s The Hampsterdance the Tantra hence the sexual Jedi Knight training so that you can breathe breathe through and in have the orgasms without losing the love don’t be a 5 lb jump so hit the two feminists so I think I’m going to say okay if she’s dying to give me a blowjob then like we time it for like okay like we’re going to play your favorite song and it’s going to be about the same equal thanks to to her favorite song and you going to eat each other’s favorite songs and I’m like hold each other’s heads and massage each other and just be like holding each other from behind and Miss Priss massaging each other that they take turns but there’s still a potential in that for for jealousy to arise in forever and for it to be I mean I just thought of a way to actually literally short-circuit everything in a really beautiful elegant circuit and so here is the design and I will try to verbally explain unless they can so I love the idea of two women’s hands clasping together around my cock and massaging it gently up and down as they face each other and our eye gazing intermittently so the visual so far is is that the dear beloved goddesses or I are facing each other so actually agency kneeling I’m I am laying on my back and they both are kneeling with their literally as clothes into my armpit is possible so that I can reach Below in between their legs and butt so I can have a hand on each clit and vulva fingers is a good middle finger on the clit and to end so if I’m cuffing the vulva and able to use my longest middle finger to be stroking the each clit simultaneously in patterns you know singer sew and I’m basically playing streams is like playing guitar and make a solo I’m playing shift I have this is because the end of vocalizations or what I’m tuning for it you know so so it isn’t this beautiful instrument of a playing these two young hearts that are kissing each other and like I gazy and exactly is so I’m making sure that they’re not feeling left out in that apartment while I’m being stimulated and everybody is being stimulated sexually and everyone is feeling a part of a closed circuit that is meeting everyone’s needs and in and there’s no favoritism there’s no hierarchy the really so thin and if anything I am as the man in my back and that is what time trick Kali worshipping actual full fully pornographic and I hesitate to use that word was fully glorious erotic depictions of the circuitry of how this stuff works so if it’s if you’re not approve any 3 I mean if you’re not so sexually stunted then you would just understand that these icons are just road maps to the spiritual terrain of understanding the energetics of Shiva Shakti god goddess energy so we’re designing with that and we’re creating a maximum hydraulic energy flows in in in a way that is very egalitarian actually inhibits the growth of the ego and that sense of so-and-so I’ve experienced this in not that exact formation but that’s why I aspire to be a porn director so that I can I can work with people who are very comfortable taking Direction and are not going to lose their minds and so I actually had this conversation today they’re what makes me not a cult leader and what prevents me from ever becoming a cult leader is this one fundamental thing right but I have to study cold it is to know how not to be a quote later cuz otherwise I would just be cranking out so much Kool-Aid day Kool-Aid would have to invent a time to punch flavor you know I got to be sponsored by Kool-Aid the Kool-Aid man oh yeah it would have it I make my own Kool-Aid Man Township anyway after dark okay I wanted how they’ve not sued like I have all of the libelous memes and they feel bad for the Kool-Aid guy I didn’t fucking poisonous people man I don’t mean to be making fun of them and I really got to get serious about not making a joke out of the people who died in the massacre Crazy Eights it’s it’s it’s public domain now to make a joke to either the expression people say don’t drink the Kool-Aid it’s because people at Jonestown were by a charismatic cult leader who was it was an extremely right with it skips a generation maybe but that’s how memes get formed yes so I mean that’s how they sort of deprecated the roots and you say things that we don’t know how does the reason we’re numb it so they don’t drink the Kool-Aid means don’t consent to a groupthink. Virus that makes mass suicide be acceptable and so they poisoned the Kool-Aid punch and that’s how everyone can scented make give it to their kids and everyone is like this is fine and some people try to protest and they were silenced and some people try to run away and it was a nightmare and it was absolutely what I would I must not allow myself to become as a priest that uses sexual mind manipulation and coercive tactics to trade love and affection attention and orgasm for 4 unquestioning devotion into the point of suicide so that that’s the extreme case that that we that is a litmus test for if you were going down that slippery slope but I actually tend to want to study the mental illness of sociopath sociopathy narcissism and I would like to consider myself a benign I’m the benign narcissist I know that that is a character flaw that I am not how we going to like defeat by doing the past limitations as many times that night and I’m going to roll with it and I’m going to say yeah I will be like Howard Stern and I will be I’m going to if I’m going to be this personality I’m going to make a bonsai tree out of my own ego if I can and have other people help in the process but but things going going back to the to the cult thing and what me what gives me the authority to design this orgasmic Orchestra what why and how do you not just become a colder than soy everyone you meet is basically in that on that game board now how am I going to manipulate you to be in this in this position that I would like you to be in to fulfill my fantasy of engineering all this town truck stuff and and if I’m if I’m this is well that’s spit out the Kool-Aid don’t swallow I think what we’ll get to that for sure that’s going to be a we’re going to get to that but can’t forget that we’ll save that for the for the most triumphant moment the climax is when we’re going to use that it’s so precious now after it’s been built up so ever since a joke that’s going about 2 it’s going to explain come on your face it’s going to come on yesterday and you’re going to beg for it and so hits is it is I’ve had people beg me to come in the third eye and it was hard to resist but this is going to be almost as good as that sharing you this one liner inside joke and just a minute but to wrap up this sort of dark out thing that we were doing with the coal thing is that it how do you know how do I hedge against being the creepiest man every like people think that Barney the purple dinosaur because he and forgive me if I’m butchering the facts here but as far as I know he’s doing what I considered to be taboos for me which is charging women money to have sexual penetrative intercourse with them above all without protection and making that into a to me that’s not a scalable business model and you can ask your doctor wife but Barney I mean I get it and I get that that’s the love thing being cultivated generated so I think I don’t know whether I consider that good pressure bad press for modern Neo Tantra or what not but I’d love to have them on the podcast I’m sure it’s going to happen and I can’t say that I was a fan of the art form of Barney the purple dinosaur but but but I would love to get to the full story and also talked about the ethics and this medical the medical duty of care that comes with sexual and pinch of intercourse with anybody so anyway that’s the sad but who were talking about okay what if you were intrigued and maybe turned on by me talking about these erotic circuit boards then you also have to be somewhat red-flagged and starting to cringe and go where how old is this get arranged in what are the incentives and how do you how do you manage the Eagles and how do you who’s in charge it’s like you can’t it’s a scary thing but you wouldn’t work but that’s why when I went when I say what I realized for me the aha moment in my sexual career was that if I want to have out-of-the-box sex I have to pay lots of money for it from professionals who have trained her nervous system to do theater performance of sexuality as escorts or as Dom’s or as porn performers because they’re good sports they’re not spoil Sports about any of the stuff for the most part if they’re treated well and respected and then contracts are here too and they know what they’re getting into and hopefully they’ve matured and hopefully their brain has developed to its full capacity IE the age that it takes to actually I don’t say that to you exactly so you better know there’s a dimension of Ethics when it comes to harvesting teenagers for your for whatever Annette and I have had some of the best sex in my life as a 30 year old being fucked up fucked senseless by teenager in a row in a monogamous relationship and I will I will tell you that it’s it some it was worth the daddy issues that I had to deal with it was worth reparenting her and it was worth every bit of emotional kind of awkwardness that there wasn’t some of the an Amex because she was such a good full spirited Prime late night it was funny cuz I was like I want to settle you down and basically like I could teach your making a kid with ADHD sit in class is like no she wants to fuck wildly she wants you to perform more than you possibly ever could even at 30 and and she and she is not she doesn’t need these esoteric practices too heavy multi-orgasmic she’s fucking coming or brains out like so hard and I and I couldn’t sit her down the aisle still enough to do any of the practices that I thought were going to be so enlightening and went in the great thing is is it a fuck it like it is certain point you just say no guru there’s a song about it’s like no guru no no scripture No play just in the Dow of the thing so anyway so that’s a side note to say there is a sacred place for adult for fully mature brain develop adults to be having sex with teenagers and and I know that it can be done because I’ve done it but it also takes you can’t just treat them like a commodity please you got to you got to think about pedagogy Nikki learned from the person that you’re teaching teaches you things to like a circle so then so we’re talking about these ethics and where I wanted to just close that point about how I do my best to not be a cult leader I thought I figured it out pretty simply and correct me if I’m wrong but basically it’s it’s I dare you to to indict me for the the criminal and civil liability of misconduct for for for structuring a certain way so this is how I this is this is very simple as this is like this I said that this is a different the difference from a cult leader is that I’m a porn director I pay women to be directed and then I pay whoever I want to I will I will I will choose performers who I resonate with for whatever we would like to do together to make beautiful art and and I will compensate them and pay them to take time out of their lives to be a part of my design and to be directed by me they’re not paying me for healing for enlightenment for direction for guidance and I’m directing them and Meghan gratifying myself and taking their money in convincing mind fucking them and taking more of their money and more than money until they don’t talk to their friends because of and that’s how Colts are basically extractive from their students the colors are extracting from their devotees the difference is how many colors do you know that actually give their devotees money I will pay you oh now I’m making corned a porn director and I am more karmically correct than the fucking Guru who is fucking having people kiss his feet and take your money so who would have thought that the corn directors were the most enlightening Yogi’s to ever attempt to be divine and I have my favorites and I’m a fan of some of them I want I want to see the names but right now but that cuz I wouldn’t want to leave any out you know what I mean bless you all for paying people to direct them into your Twisted fucking fantasies and giving them that dignity like hats of their not wondering about it cuz there’s that was having a conversation today it’s like a buyer’s remorse if I say to you I’m just saying if you remember when you had to if you were old enough to know that there was a day when when when your allowance equals one CD for $15 so humorous if you never had experience this is important I think this is important teaching is important teachable moment is that is that and I don’t want to be today. Take care no man’s planning anything in them to have fun here but this is like this is this is late so here’s the funny thing though you think about I remember what it was like when I had to convince myself that amusing that a CD that fucking sucked was actually good because I paid money for it and I would not let myself suffer the indignity of having made a mistake so I was in a state of denial and delusion so so so feeling this isn’t meditation okay everybody think of something that you paid money for that you discovered was in the zoo is suboptimal and you used mental gymnastics to convince yourself that you actually liked it even though you knew deeply that you didn’t like it but it was called buyer’s remorse it was called the sunk cost fallacy of sunk cost fallacy is that because you invested something into this you have to continue beyond the point of no return because you can’t live with yourself other ways so that is this Twisted perverse placebo effect that happens when it’s like I went to the sex guru to get healed and he said for 9999 I would get here and but I but I could also upsell to the bonus extra double healing deluxe super Cosmic Crystal trademark excetera right thing and try before you buy money back guarantee accessories that you’re all of his legal he’s in fine print all the stuff but there is but that’s where it is we’re expecting to have some result that you paid money for and you will question whether or not okay did I was a hole in my heel did I pay enough money to pay more and some money and it is it distorts things and you did it it did contaminated in a way for that so I’m skeptical that I can be done right in that sense and that’s just me so what I say let’s work in the garden together my time equals your time and now we’re planting trees equals an hour of Yoni massage your prostate massage and therefore it’s a flat equal everybody has the same it’s his first come first serve you know and orgasms for work shirts that was my hand jobs for Humanity and helping a tree with two or so you’ll see it yeah it’s a white paper was written so is he ever gets faster so so that’s how I’m not going to be a cult leader is that I’m not going to charge people money to be Pawns in my game of or are you going to be players in my Game of Thrones Township Township twister you will get paid handsomely to be in my theater my game of Township twister and you can quit you can get any time you know that’s that’s that’s the thing to you won’t be like oh if I walk away now you know that then where I’m not like what I paid for I’m I’m already invested so much forever so so many different dynamics of of incentivization happening in this thing is so anyway that that was I think it is important to lay that out and and this is probably the first time I’ve articulated it on the podcast but I just was having this conversation today with this answer the CD metaphor thing where it’s like you know it did that it’s it’s a problem that way so so that’s I will not be extracting money from people in that in that way I’d rather pay them to be in my in my Productions and feel better about it that way so getting back to the fun stuff in the production itself so imagining that that would be the way from now on where I’m like if you want to that’s basically what I just described about that circuit of three people as a minimum to starting point is like that is the that is first base now you know that’s first base because getting into the circuitry of actual intercourse that’s where it required that’s where we get into the medical the medical responsibilities aspects and we get into more of the karmic sharing we’re really swapping scum he’s on an astral level at that point more so than if it’s an outercourse thing and you can’t go back once you know I don’t want to sound like a prepaid only sound like a six- future but but they were right about this mean you’re not wrong about everything they’ve had no sex for anybody ever. Is not the solution to people having sexually transmitted demons running rampant all over the place and it’s about making them your friends and making them work for you not against you and making them expose themselves properly and in you know where it’s not a pure realm we are not going to be perfectly protected in fear we can strive for that and we can use Kundalini and Prana and mantras and all of our medicines in purgatives and things to create a cleaner vessel to make more harmonious more resonance more signal-to-noise ratio and that is what to me this is all about and why we are missing out so badly to not be like I see this if God is wanted you got it for not created to nipples I can’t suck both nipples at the same time I tried some women I can do it on I’ve done it and you can do it some women is possible but for the most part so what does that mean what are you do do you limit God or do you just find someone else to be on the left or right side of you you know what is the big deal so when I think about this math equation how many erotic how many out of the box meaning not really the selective like subjective nuanced little erogenous zones that people get overtime in our lives but the out-of-the-box everybody is wired this way count how many erogenous zones you have and how what is the minimum number of mouse penis and genitals or fingers are human appendages required to simultaneously stimulate all those places it’s more than one person I can tell you that much you know so I just want us to start there and be creative in 2N to learn how to understand that we’re missing out and we should be wanting to gamify maximizing human potential for orgasmic pleasure because that is exorcism orgasm equals exorcism in some cultures who are Les Les Mis Sara Lee poetic about the floury discourse of symbols about sex life like a Latin American Shaman is said about her sexuality in the end in her how she explained why monogamous marriage was not really a thing in a culture that permitted extramarital sex and it was that in her mind and I am not going to say her name to cool her but I will say to paraphrase the essence of this wisdom is that to her mind it was just like an orgasm is like taking out the trash and that is not that’s not to say that it is mundane or a chore it is that it is a responsibility of hygiene in your household of your body Temple you need to have orgasms they need to be fulfilling need to get the job done and that is the exorcism aspect of it so the howling screeching all of these things that are considered that witches were burned forming figli sounds that those are the sounds of actual Holiness the set of holy the sound of Holiness is a woman’s orgasm and so let’s make those come more abundantly and let’s utilize map map the erogenous zones out of the box and then map the additional ones that are my favorite song and when you talk to me like this and this certain place I’m in the back of my head there whatever and then everyone has their own map so we can learn each other’s maps and if you don’t know your own map then you can ask people to help you there’s people who would love to lick and kiss and touch you and head to toe to find and explore you and and from a breasted state of consciousness D nice and yes I like to will you bring out the best in me that’s all I think that’s all you guys add that I can’t top that is the way to end so then really that was we didn’t even know that we put the icing on the motherfuking cake by saying you bring out the Best in Me so there was a documentary about at the peak of my desire to become a a rock star in the the crust Punk metal genre grindcore all that fun stuff I was studying that I wanted to understand and clock the music industry so I was watching every documentary I could find understanding music marketing and all the stuff and then I found this great documentary about about Jimi Hendrix and and I believe it was his fiance at a time who later became his wife if I remember correctly and she was talking about the time where he was building momentum and getting lots of gigs but still underground and she said something that stuck with me forever and if this moment which is it basically the hidden tension was used turn Express yeah we we all knew he was going to get sign or we all knew that you was going to take off he was going to blow up and so she said it was just about if someone puts put the icing on the motherfuking cake you know and I know and I felt that we we’re ready for that and we did some we had some we had some ice and get put on a motherfuking cake we did you get you always want more but I look back and I don’t think we could handle more so we got what we got and now I’m on a different I have a different cake I have a different cake mix and I don’t know if it’s that time I don’t know if it’s time to put the icing on the cake or not yeah I don’t know I mean the cake it’s getting cold she heard it mean if you’d if anyone has icing out there can it please be stevia-sweetened go Steven Johnson I don’t know how to hack them will work on that today I know it’s actually what I heard is that it’s a weird additive that they used to cut it because it’s so super sweet that you would basically died of sweetness if you didn’t like the step on it with some other things so I think that’s why I love growing Stevia and having a leaf to munch on and put in the tea because then you know is nothing else being put into it and it’s just as powerful you don’t really need to if you had the the live leaves one leaf enough will be enough to knock your head off for an hour so yeah I know on that snow yeah we’re going to put this devious fresh leave puree motherfuking icing on the cake I will put the icing on my own motherfuking cake that reminds me in 1 minute I just when I thought we couldn’t go out with a bigger bang this is going to be at because there was a a ritual ceremonial I called we called apart emoni where was the Psychedelic birthday party and we smeared cake all over each other and had to basically devour for the birthday gal of her own cake and it was just nipples and asses and I wanted to be in after from there I was my breasts Elsa. Playing for sure that brother and brother best me for sure but that when I got to put the icing on cake my damn self so don’t let anyone fucking tell you that you’re not none of me if you feel like it I mean I think we’re done I just can’t I’m going to fucking drop my phone right now when I might drop my phone on the couch citizen of the count but oh shit it’s next level add icy Cipher geise that’s going to have some cake with that icing okay thank you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.drudgereport.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and if you want a podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been at Tantra Punk. Com Thomas Day

Holistic Sexual Health with Alexandria Baker TPP185

Play

Tantra Punk and Alexandria Foxxcroft Pic

Happy Valentines Day!

This episode is the audio track from the Holistic Sexual Health instructional video featuring Alexandria Baker. We geek out on best practices for sexual health from a holistic perspective. We address the fundamentals of protecting your body temple from sexually transmitted infections, ethical disclosure and management of persistent infections, safer alternative approaches to “hooking up”, and much more!

Here is an info graphic that helps illustrate my approach to love and relationships:

Spiral of Intimacy graphic

About Alexandria:
She’s a southern California sex educator, Hatha yoga instructor, ethical luxurious natural beauty and skin care entrepreneur, model, and performance artist.

Please visit Alexandria’s website and Youtube channel at:

https://www.fromalexandria.com/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcTemJEFn3GVpGuCbJnu6Yg

AI Generated Transcription:
(Want to help with corrections? Please contact me to learn about rewards for your efforts!)

Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear beloved Smoke on the township on podcast episode number 185 I’m doing an episode to commemorate Valentine’s Day I have a the audio track from a video that I did with alexandrea Foxcroft and it is to sex Geeks talking about how to have holistic Sexual Health considering many factors of what’s going on on the surface of the virology of sexually transmitted infections and also the psychology of relationships and the building of intimacy and various stages that can help help to prevent disease and unwanted attachments and really it’s it’s based off of something that I’ve called the spiral of intimacy in the past and I will include the graphic in the the episode pages is a graphic that I like to use to give people more opportunity to think out of the think out of the box when it comes to do the bedroom in really how to protect your body Temple how to be smart and safe and have a safe and sane Valentine’s Day so hope you enjoy it on this day do you want to talk about what now what are some of the standard kind of approaches to teaching safer sex practices it’s been in my life evolved since the real big HIV early days and you know now we have these superbugs that are you know antibiotic-resistant and so there’s a whole new threat landscape that I need to be educated about so yeah wait what are you what are some some basics from the field so I grew up in a private school and semi-synthetic sex education was very minimal it was taught in a class called marriage and family and it was pretty much one day of if you have unprotected sex you are exposing yourself to the risk of Gonorrhea chlamydia herpes HIV and the emotional distress that will come from knowing that you had sex outside of the Sacred vows of marriage and we didn’t get that education on what to do to prevent STDs or STIs and fortunately in public school systems many across the country they do give an overview of okay if you you if you were going to choose to have sex here is hot what you can do to stay safe this is a condom this is how you put it on using some sort of genital proxy like I like a banana or maybe eat something that’s in another thing that’s in the shape of a penis so that you can see how you unroll it and put it on and I didn’t have that education myself this is just from talking to friends and talk and text for its how this is what what these classes are like but we still don’t discuss what pleasure is and how to have an experience that is beneficial and positive for all parties involved and so that’s where I would like to see our next step of sex education come in and very infrequently do we talked about oral barriers which are just as important as using condoms for men and condoms for vaginas and these are important components to bring into the sexual conversation so that we can stay safe and stay healthy even have pleasure while doing it and yeah we love that so that’s that’s really important and I would love to shift the conversation from when you get an STD this is bad you did something that’s wrong too things happen I get colds I’m sure you’ve had the flu before it’s an illness and with a lot of these STDs and STIs you can take an antibiotic get a shot we had medication that allows you to live a life that’s fairly normal or very close to normal if not just as normal as before you were diagnosed with this STD or STI and so it’s not this horrible life ending thing and to pull back on that shame in that stigma will be fantastic and that also comes from being more comfortable with talking about it and be more comfortable talking about it with friends or with Partners or people that you’re thinking of having sex with just to normalize that dialogue more and start talking about condoms and start talking about the different kinds of protection that you’ll use and it can even be discussed in a sexy way like I’ve certainly had a bit of metal for play with talking about okay play well all by my favorite kinds of condom and you buy your favorite kind of condom and we’ll see what feels better and we’ll see what we like that’s like that it can be a little PC thing definitely definitely won’t I feel like this is the the kind of attitude approach this really a valley re-evaluating and really honoring the gift that condoms are you know in history of the world I can commiserate with the masculine perspective that it can sometimes make it can sometimes interrupt cycles of arousal and make make arousal difficult to achieve or to sustain that usually affecting people as they get a little bit older and it’s not so much of a big deal younger but then you know there’s a million excuses for why people want to be inconsistent in their their practices which is where you get in trouble you know is is to make poor decisions and so there’s that there’s that potential issue is also just the idea some people say wearing a condom is like wearing a ring gear in the shower you know that me and this bring out some of the heating stuff at Big O’s on and there’s excuse excuses and this is what I want to say and talk to you about a little bit so I see fluid bonded partnership which is the I think the a sweet and sexy but also clinically kind of accurate way to see if you’re not using a barrier than your fluids are coming into contact him and you’re being bonded it at a deep level there and so it also lends that concept of like well you should be very spiritually bonded and very ethically bonded with whoever you were fluid bonded with because there’s a high level of trust and responsibility that goes with that so this is kind of something to a line of thinking like that you know what process with you yeah which is that a lot of people don’t really preserve they don’t hold their sexual health is very precious and obviously if you get drunk and you’re blocked out then even if you did hold a precious Steven capacity to having a sloppy sex with people while you blacked out so what I would love to see people have is this a deal that being fluid bonding with with one or more persons is a very sacred very precious very requires a lot of trust and a lot of Integrity to hold to hold that title because if you have that title with someone and they expect a high level of discipline and integrity going both ways you know you can’t if you were to share that food botanist with too many people at once that don’t have integrity then you end up reaching the purpose of having that bond in the first place you know what you say and you may have you met both have the same status of the same can you may both have HIV and they both have different forms of you know HPV or HSV and you can look up the alphabet soup if you don’t know it later but being fluid bonded doesn’t just mean that you’re afraid of everyone else and you’re never going to have sex with you when I was cuz I cure the you managed to avoid all temptation and now you have the Slate clean you know slate to work with that’s one reason to have that I do want to hold on to it or it could be the you that you both know that you are carrying something and you would feel better about not exposing other people to it and feel better about just having that openness with each other and that was another another aspect of it but to a question for you from this line of thinking it would be how how would you possibly help people get to a point where they say themselves I’m going to be hyper-vigilant about barrier protection with strangers and people who I don’t know and trust and I’m going to sample and experiment and explore the world and and have fun out there at parties and you know wherever out in the wild you know get the freak on and have your fun while doing it every pleasure while doing it but having that consistent barrier practice them and knowing you put gloves on at the cellar bar and I think at home you take the clothes I do get what you’re saying and if I’m hearing you correctly from your point of view it’s like if you want to go out and be freaky and have fun like that at sex exploration do it be safe without it be smart use protection and in that relationship where you are more committed and you know each other sexual histories and you’ve had that discussion so that you are aware of the risks involved you can remove this barrier so that you can reap the rewards of having sex without needing to use a condom and I am very much of the camp that when you have sex with someone especially when you are fluid bonding having sex without barriers you are establishing a spiritual connection you are allowing yourself to enter their energetic fields and exchange that energy and receive their energy and give your energy and to do that I like to have a sense of who that person is and what they bringing with him and giving to me so that I can share with them something that’s really important and sacred to me which is my my Sexual Energy I find that exchanged very sacred and very important and with the reward of having really good fulfilling sex with someone that I trust and I have that intimacy with also comes the risk of potential pregnancy with certain people or potentially getting a venereal disease and that’s why it’s really important when you decide to remove the barriers to already have that trust and that knowledge established like getting STD tests had that conversation allow that to be part of your practice with your partner so that you know what you’re getting into and you know it you’re potentially exposing yourself to and if you have the same as to DS I said is that something that you to decide consciously together and if you wish to go out into the greater world you have that at the Clone Wars fonts ability to keep your fellow man safe fellow men women however you identify safe because we’re all in this together and we can slow down prevent the spread of diseases with that conscious awareness of okay I am getting into a situation that’s the heating up is feeling sexy I can either choose to be protected not have sex or run the risk of exposing myself and my partner’s to whatever it is that I carrier they carry and you know that with watching this you you’re you’re making yourself aware of this and I hope that you can continue this conversation so that we can break down the stigma of these conversations that might be awkward at this point but make him a little less awkward when talking to your friends about it talk to your family about it was that you who you can have these conversations within we can normalize it so that we can be healthier for ethical sexy people awesome yeah I feel like there’s this pattern of young guys in the locker room talking about getting the first base and second base third base and see if along that line of thinking is if it could be more more of the idea what to say that there is a hit if unprotected an unprotected is not as of the Food Lion has more positive sounding and unprotected sex like a scary and dangerous it invokes that that energy of fear but the I think we all know that it’s a hindrance to use condoms but there is a cost-benefit and a risk-reward algorithm you have to run in your mind the pros and cons with any person anytime and if if the real gift if the greater gift you could give to someone else is the gift of your body skin to skin contact all the way a hundred percent you know with the potential of conception being even there it’s it’s a that’s the real that the Deep this the greatest gift you can offer like you were saying if you’re going to share that it’s not going to be frivolous you’re going to guard that and really be measured about who you share that with and so it’s I guess the point I’m I’m feeling here is just that it’s a lower Stakes proposition to say to somebody that you might be interested and say hey I don’t know if I want to inherit all of your karma all of your jeans all of the diseases you may have that you know about or don’t know about so why don’t we start with having sex with a condom in to see how that goes for a while and then we can maybe shake hands if it doesn’t work out for a long-term thing or a family thing or whatever thing and then we won’t be having to either hide or explain something to the next person that we have that level of experimental kind of like a trial. You know I mean if your if you don’t if you had if you have casual sex with people and you’re looking for a long-term lover lover than basically you’re sampling the population in your having this little child. So if another reason to have like that at least temporary approach to consistent protect used to protection is it like this is how I kind of simplified is just that you know there are people there people who I love so much to where I would suffer with them by their side with whatever they were suffering with and the and it would be worth it to me and I would send I would feel good about an okay with it that even if we broke up later even if you know something we split apart and I’m like that for the rest of my life I carry a piece of them which happens to be some in a little bit of DNA code that’s a virus or something and I will carry out with me for the rest of their life and I will always look back and think about how the story of me having that was it I love this person so deeply that I wanted them to feel like inhibited to share themselves fully with me and I wasn’t like keeping them at a distance and that was like a beautiful thing and we shared that consciously as opposed to being like oh man I had this hit-and-run what states have a 7 do I don’t know their name I don’t even remember where they are and now I’ve got this thing I have to deal with and I’m going to feel like crap about it and I’m going to want to lie about it or hide it and not shiting you know that that’s the worst is to actually have something get it in a way that doesn’t feel healthy you know energetically and then cover it up and conceal it for however long and that that’s where the from a tantric respected the karmic consequences of Deceit you know it’s bad it’s is not just the physical test that you do know for all that so so what are some myths and misconceptions you’ve had to encounter as an educator and just in life you know think reasons why people are four ways that people are or not taking things slowly through I guess when I go to college campuses and I educate one of the most common things that was at first like really people think this is when we offer free condoms so so I don’t need that I don’t have any STDs but they’ve never been tested or if they don’t have a partner that they talk about this way or they think that just because they don’t have an STD then they they’re not going to come across someone who might so really even if that person that you’re getting to know smells great looks great has an awesome attitude seems really smart they may have an STD and STI that they’re not aware of her that they are aware of that they’re not sharing with you and so when you get into it sexual situation you’re exposing yourself to whatever they might and they can either share that willingly if they know about it or they can keep it a secret willingly or just be completely unaware so to have condom have Paw protection using oral barriers here just setting yourself up for having safe sex practices that allow you to continue to have great sex I hope have sex that doesn’t have that that shame that he might carry or that fear or just that thought of while maybe this is going to be the time that something happens and it’s I find it easier and it just more pleasurable when I’m not worried about worried about that I know that I’m keeping myself safe that’s just one thing that I that’s not on my mind when I want to be fully present in the moment with my chosen partner do that young and I think with another so a lot of people will try to get away with the bare minimum or something of the sort of a cop-out or some cognitive dissonance around it that only happens to Immortal people ordered on crustacean whatever it is like whatever like you said it’s kind of a a pretty weak system of logic to have its really self-defeating so another kind of myth that I think should be busted or explored at least it’s just the idea that all I get tested once a year you know so I’m fine when hey it’s really the best I mean that the best you can share with your that’s our answer for my perspective it’s a hypochondriac if you start out in the sexual risk exposure game with the assumption that everybody has everything and condoms pretty much prevent almost everything almost all the time and when used properly then you are not subject to anybody’s trickery or deceit or falsehood around that’s why I’m fine and I don’t need a condom for I get tested very regularly and same thing it’s it anytime you have exposure you could have been tested two weeks ago if you were exposed to someone since then and sometimes it takes a while for for your system to start to show signs that are detectable by STD STI tests that you that you have something so even if you were tested a month ago and we’re clean five months from now you might show that you’re positive for something it’s all good information to have believe me I looked like to know someone and someone has a working knowledge of the different STIs that are out there a difference between bacteria and viruses and by having the knowledge and knowing what to ask for knowing which which tests are often omitted fruits and let’s talk about making barrier sexy and what did I see after that because you need to put that in your your survival kit can I mean we can make putting on a condom a sexy thing it can be done with teething I gazes or really sencha Longs Drugs or it can be like that’s hard and dirty however you want it however you and your partner working together and so that’s more commonly used form of oral barrier when you’re giving someone head but we also have oral barriers for a vagina or for the anus and it’s something that’s maybe not used as often but I can also be a sexy thing where we have ones that are flavored ones that don’t have the complete XC taste so so how do you bring up the conversation about STDs and STIs with someone that you’re thinking of having sex with actually I devised a little graphical illustration that called a spiral of intimacy and it has a spectrum from low to high risk and low to high risk responsibilities of risk and responsibilities so starting with being separated and say meditating together or coming closer and dancing together and then the the sort of familial kind of back massage and then I’m more of a sensual full-body massage then going to erotic massage and then the different degrees of being able to stimulate manually so there’s a whole appreciated area of getting to know someone sexually through masturbation and it’s like GSU would like to know what it’s like to have sex with you but I’d rather watch you have sex with yourself first so that I can observe your orgasmic cycle and I can know when you’re faking it then you’re too nice if that ever happens I like to remove the incentive for that to have to ever happen because it’s like it doesn’t have to be a you know that’s not the main goal about it the more it happened so just don’t worry about it so have you know the fundamentals and play split so bring it up it’s kind of like I mean a lot of times for meat lot of times women have tried to mount me without a condom and I had to say excuse me if you’re getting something and I forgive them because I know that I do deeply know in my heart of hearts that their Primal body is like please impregnate me while I’m in my Prime and I will jump from do to do to do to get that need met as of wimpy know and I respect that is powerful and so I don’t I don’t shame that went when it happens but I do say you know what season you know this is a formality that we cannot Overlook here but I feel like once you once you get Beyond The Shame of talking about sex in general it’s in New York when it gets to a point where it’s appropriate like it’s not creepy or not out of context to just start talking about the stuff I feel like it’s really there’s been nobody in my life and in recent years you kind of vibrating attract people obviously have like Consciousness but also it’s like a are any day is a good day to have this conversation I guess like it’s it’s that it doesn’t doesn’t feel awkward to me because I have been at a point where I’ve discovered with a partner getting tested oh no I haven’t been tested her if she hadn’t been tested and then we discover the cheese you know she has a lifelong infection you know that that is as yet not curable and so are adapting to that and having to be a good lover through that that’s challenging you know and there may be a day where the tables turn on me and that happens and you know I have to do and work through that so it’s I think it’s always it’s always rewarding to it to do it in and do it right have the conversation and just set up the plan and the more confident you are and your knowledge of yourself and where you’re coming from and you know you’re selling practices like if I was real shady about this stuff and I didn’t know and I was like doing a bunch of shady things and lying to people then I probably would never want to have a conversation so I think that’s a really that’s that’s something that I appreciate and I like and it would be great if that type of Mines that could be adopted by more people in that there are varying levels of intimacy and places that you know you’re going to get with someone puts that you wish you could get with someone please set you know you’re not going to be with someone and based on that you can have that conversation when you find it appropriate FaceTime like where you are End Zone here like a friends with benefits on this level of the pyramid you take a step up here and you’re kind of like maybe you’re given doing a little bit of mutual masturbation and then you go here and it’s kind of like okay barrier love making Anna. Sir to take the barriers off and now you’re doing sex magick and now you become God got us and you left off into the infinite eternity of the whole because whether you have all these different people you know who you shook hands when they didn’t want to go to the next level or you asked him to go to next time when I said I you know what I’m going to that level of somebody else and you still have people all of these different levels and then you have all these people still potentially coming in for the friendzone infinite infinite opportunities for education and the and I appreciate that you bring up fee the practice of mutual masturbation or solo masturbation and observing someone doing so that if she divorced me I love it I love it and it’s a great way to if you don’t have a condom if you don’t have a dental dam if you are not sure that you want to touch them or be touched by then but you still feel the sexual spark so you’re curious watch each other masturbated so it’s a great way to see someone really enjoy themselves fully friends don’t let friends show me your style show me show me my show you the flea mind kind of thing but now I think people are we really got to get in that direction because that wouldn’t that would release a lot of energy and and be totally safe and and I’ve I’ve had that thought and I feel like it shouldn’t be too much to ask you know it’s like it’s a lot to ask for someone to have sexual intercourse of any kind that’s a big big ass and it should stay that way but a lot of those things below that it should be we should be really so much more open and then we can explore homosexuality lot easier that way to you now it’s like you don’t have to go to the freakiest the freaky places to to know you know what what you want whether you like to or not but to never have any exposure you know and getting to know other people that can be part of that beginning practice that instead we’ll get there at some point so any last thoughts at 4 now I think I would say that this is just a very rainstorm any kind of introduction to the report or the Namek that we’re creating which is the model and demonstrate healthy fun conscious you know out-of-the-box thinking about these these treacherous things that are really just tiny little pesky things that we can control a manager for smart so more and more to come and this is just the beginning and so too cuz this one out do you have any last words you want to share for $10 ideas here so okay okay good ESO one of the reasons why I was an eye roller about dental dams even though I knew better and I understood that reason for their existence was because the the price for each one made me think about like how much the fun I want to have an amount of money I could afford to have that fun and it’s just going to make sure I so but now as I evolve my thinking and it had just been I don’t know where I learned it from but but it’s been I think of sex geek hacker thing to use Saran Wrap because it’s dirt-cheap literally and it said very very effective for that you’re almost never going to pierce it even with your teeth you know you would have to really try hard to try to damage and break that and also because it’s so abundant in the size compared to a dental dam you can roll out plenty of extra so we can kind of like create really tuck it in the crevices between the thighs and really get it so cuz I want to make a mess on both sides and I want to have a broad canvas and I want to be all over the place and I don’t want to worry about it sliding off or if I’m cuz in you know you just get you know your mind gets in the way so so we’re looking for sponsorship you know in a research Grant hear the trip to create massive rolls like the size of the wear house and rolls that are flavored Saran wrap that can be package and ship you know that also buy degradable cuz we don’t want the fish in the ocean to end up choking on our comrades email come on so much fun for anyone involved now we got to clean up the oceans and figured ecosexuals and crepe more Earth friendly Solutions on going so yeah that’s a good a good prayer clothes I would country kiss that we just practice no barriers needed thank you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples up here by Tycho logical employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email fan at Township Park. Com Thomas gay

Empowering Sex Workers in East Los Angeles with Alejandra Aguilar Avelino TPP184

Play

Alejandra Aguilar Avelino Pic

In this episode I’m honored to be joined by Alejandra Aguilar Avelino, an advocate, educator and service provider at the East Los Angeles Women Center. We met there recently at a Sex Workers Outreach Project event and she gave a moving speech to explain a piece of art she created in solidarity with the victims of sexual violence.  Her extensive experience in community support work is truly profound and she shares some very deep and intense insights on the intersections of religion, sexuality, economics, and politics.

We explore the efforts and potential to organize male clients of sex workers  to show more solidarity and do more to support the health and well being of sex workers, and she shares some of her hopes and dreams for expanding the scope of services and outreach in the future.

I was very grateful to learn from her and to share a passion for improving the outcomes and quality of lives for sex workers through their whole life cycle. I’m hoping that her work and that of her peers and colleagues will be well financed so they can carry on doing such important work!

Please visit:

https://www.elawc.org/

https://www.facebook.com/elawc/

Alejandra Aguilar Avelino immigrated to the United States from her native Michoacán Mexico when she was eight years old. Alejandra has more than 16 years of experience in the field of Community Education. Alejandra’s beginnings were with Planned Parenthood Los Angeles as a Promotora Comunitaria. Alejandra had the honor to serve as Secretary and Chair of ALIANZA, the Los Angeles Caucus on HIV/AIDS in Los Angeles County.Currently Alejandra is the lead health educator, HIV counselor and support group facilitator at the East Los Angeles Women’s Center where she does HIV Navigation services. . Alejandra also provides support services to HIV-positive women and is an active member of several community planning bodies dedicated to the empowerment, health and well being of people. Alejandra has presented in several conferences at local and state level. Some of Alejandra’s passions are continuous learning, the empowerment of Latina Women, and she fights tirelessly against Gender Violence and Reproductive Justice. In her spare ?me Alejandra enjoys spending time with her family, hiking, reading and expanding her own small online business which she also uses as a tool to help other women reach economic independency.

AI Generated Transcription:
(Want to help with corrections? Please contact me to learn about rewards for your efforts!)

Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin welcome to Tantra Punk podcast episode number 184 I’m being joined by Alejandra Aguilar and she is the health educator an HIV counselor at the East Los Angeles Women’s Center and we sort of met at a recent sex workers Outreach project event on December 17th which was the international day to end violence against sex workers and there was a beautiful creative artistic kind of community building event that was held there and that was the first time I had visited the East last night Women’s Center and I was very thrilled to know that that the place exists and of the great work they’re doing there and Alejandra was hosting the event through the space and has some really powerful and moving things to say about the work that she does in support of women’s health in and sexuality health and education and so I was very moved and thought I’d reach out and see if she like to tell us a bit more about her personal background and about what the great works that are offered at the center there so I’ll a hundred thank you so much for joining me looking forward to hearing more about your story thank you thank you Ben and thank you for inviting me to be part of this podcast so as you mention my name is HIV counselor at the East Los Angeles Women’s Center and yeah I recalled that for a little over 42 years and one of the things that we always want to let people know is that this is a place where women silence is hurt for the community has their silence and so we decided to open up our space so that sex workers and their allies and come in and and have a safe place to meet and so I have been working in the field of HIV for in reproductive health for a little over 14 years and you know when I arrive to this country when I was 8 years old and one of the reasons why I’m very passionate about advocating for Women Health is because specially for the health and well-being and the needs of let me know is because many times Latinas specially Latinos who are aware of the services that might be out there to support them and so one of my one of my reasons for being an ally in in the the support of sex workers is to be able to avoid the needs of women especially one of the things that I did was I was a child care provider even though I was a child myself I used to babysit that the children of many sex workers women who were immigrants who worked up at sex workers and so I got to see a lot of the needs that a lot of the new show of the women and definitely a lot of them are children and so you know as I was getting older I decided to to look into this route of being of service to to the community by advocating for the needs of your penis growing up I got to see how special immigrant women for sexual abuse that shows fault interpersonal violence and definitely sexual explotation and when I started working at the East Los Angeles Women’s Center I thought this is perfect I get to work for an organization that is aligned with my beliefs and here I am 14 years into providing Services Organization advocating for the woman’s name well that is so powerful and thank you so much for sharing that and specially about your personal background ATS really moving to me I know that there that there is a lot of really strong feminist history and in feminist movement history around women sexual health and and support services and also and sort of sort of vaguely aware of different tensions that there have been within the feminist movement around 7 is sewer or not as supportive of sex workers or of women who were involved in the adult industry and some some who maybe are more supportive some curious if you have had to navigate any of those those politics within the women within the women’s movement about the sort of taboo subjective of the sex industry not necessarily you know I am very fortunate to be in this organization I’m very fortunate to have a strong network of providers that believe in advocating for everyone and when we say everyone it means every single person regardless of what they’re definitely here at the women’s center we do not see people for what they do we see them for who they are and so when we see when we see you know a sex worker we see them for who they are first and foremost a human being have to keep for them or what you would like and definitely no I haven’t encountered any of that it does not mean that it’s not the doesn’t accept them pretty sure there’s so many people that have encounter with you but I myself have not I’m really glad to hear that because I got that Vibe definitely that there was no judgment and no no sort of distance or or or judgment you about about that because it is so it is so much a part of life and people want to ignore it or people want to just hiding from it but it’s it’s a real serious issues I appreciate it very much that that you hold that space and and I want to thank you for doing that so if you could help us understand a bit about what the the most vital needs are of those those women who are doing work in the sex industry what are some of the things that people should know about as far as what they face on a daily basis and even ways that that people who are maybe just wanting to support them where are they they want to be allies how they can also be supportive but would definitely I cannot speak for everyone but I can’t I am able to speak for those who I have been fortunate and humble enough to provide services doing these are the Immigrant Latinos who work in the bars on the country has most of the time you asked about their needs what their needs are definitely there’s a lot of me to to provide them with resources resources and when I say resources what kinds of resources and support that they need to let them know about the right and to let them know that if they have been abused molested in any way that there is are places that can help them if they need just a space where they can just feel safe that there’s such a space about what we hope to who provides many of the women that we service the well-being overall well-being we are always concerned about their health their physical health or emotional health because we know that it can take a toll on their health specially those who work at night all we know that is if it can be difficult for them to to take care of that their help because the majority of them are also mothers and because they are mothers you know many times Latinas put the needs of their own meat how can I say it they put their needs before the needs of anyone else and they last one but they’re nice and so I want to advocate for them we also want to let them know that they have rights we hope to educate them about the right within the women that we service some of them are hiv-positive and so will support them we support them by providing resources for their help for them so that they can receive the services well thank you very much again for doing that work in something that I that I have been made very much aware of by my association with women who who would be considered those very strong feminist critique of the patriarchal economic structures and just the way capitalism works and how how this Empire is really built on on its own built on the backs of immigrant labor and and and from what you’re saying it’s also built on the bodies of the sex workers who who serve a lot of different types of male laborers and I’m wondering what if you care to share from your personal perspective what are some observations are inside sore or strong feelings you may have around what the what the role of men who may be there maybe they are sex buyers or maybe they are temps or maybe they are you know what and then you can any level of that economy do you ever have the opportunity to to Enlighten them or two to help them become more active in doing the support work for the for the women or what what is your feeling about the men who are just kind of you don’t hear a lot about the John’s or the Pimp C male a male and get you component we are thinking by myself a big advocate for making change in our communities mobilizing one of the one of the things that I do is when I am able to speak to groups of men and provide them with information writing with resources to do is to let them would like for them specially if they are consumers of the services of the women who are sex workers Michael is for them not to think of the women as object to know that there’s a story behind them that there that these women might have gone through many struggles am I making sense yes this is amazing I love to hear it to hear more about it cuz I feel like it’s so lacking it’s so lacking in that people actually try to educate them and whether it’s about using condoms or or being just mine. I’m being respectful this is Range Community and to use their voice to Advocate from them as well to use whatever privilege they have as meant to protect them to advocate for them that’s definitely one one of our pools and one of the things that we hope to accomplish is for for men to go beyond those gender roles that they are putting the moment they are born we want them to understand that they can break out of that box I agree with you yes wow so if that that thank you so much for sharing those insights that they’re really really touches my my heart and soul because I feel like I’m as myself as a sex worker myself I’ve been mistreated and abused and certainly I would have loved for the very wealthy the wealth of the wealthier of my clients to to be giving back and supporting nonprofit organizations that actually create a better life and more resources 400 why wouldn’t you why wouldn’t you give back to to like a trade Association it was helping you have a good experience in helping you get your needs met so hopefully yeah I’m excited to hear about what you’re doing over the other people will do that kind of Outreach as well so if we could talk a bit about the I feel like it’s it would be important to give some context for people listening to this what what the scope of sexual assault really looks like from your perspective you’re really seeing and I again am I feel very honored to speak with you knowing that you’re you’ve chosen to be putting yourself in a position to have so much exposure and really be very empathetic and very compassionate towards people who are in times of Crisis and some of the the most extreme trauma and current crisis so you could help to sensitize the listeners of this podcast to do some what it what is sort of typical cycle is when you have someone to say come in for services who is in trauma or crisis and in kind of what whatever is appropriate you know for you to share but that I think would be good for us to understand that means we started in 1976 and actually disorganization begin you know it was first bilingual confidential 24 hour 7 days a week crisis hotline to be able to service and provide support to survivors of sexual assault what we do is we have a hotline and call if they have just been assaulted molested or phrase taking cold even if it happened many years ago in another country we provide supporting the support looks something like this we we do Hospital accompany me to go to the hospital to provide support to the Survivor of rape and we’re able to see people all ages for survivors from a baby to someone well over the age of 90 we see that again we see them for who they are we see them as human beings Survivor and we are basically there to support them we allow them to have a safe safe space to come in and speak support when and if they’re ready mix someone is ready and they would like to come in and receive support we can provide them with counseling therapy and again we never tell them what to do we are there in their healing journey in the journey to heal I said we’re walking hand-in-hand with them so where’s that the healing path and soul Moana singing about in 2016 I remember in 2016 we provided services to over 10,000 women and children on the hotline movie about 2,200 called so we’re pretty busy if ever since that Open Door hotline has never closed and twice a year would provide training for people to become sexual assault advocate so that they can help survivors they can do hospital but also so that they get the keys for the needs of survivors important so after all of this exposure that you and your colleagues and peers with organization in and near the community of people that you’re connected with her your allies in Von forcement in the justice system and that the hospital system and the the sword I guess there’s also the social services and Family Services sectors of thumb of the county and in local local governments I’m curious if you could talk about some of the powder and some of the insides whatever you’ve been able to kind of a phone some conclusions you may have arrived at just about to the patterns of abuse and where you feel like the most effective interventions can occur on the preventative side of this issue how to do there’s definitely a lot to do but we definitely one of our one of them nothing’s that needs to happen to be able to to end sexual assault and domestic violence definitely HIV we need to end violence against women and homophobia swell we definitely know that if we end violence against women we end homophobia we are very well and then into the HIV epidemic we are definitely going to see Alright by very much agree with that and tell me what comes to mind from me for my personal experience in for my studies and I love to hear what you had what you would have to stay from your perspective Which is far more I would say far from a highly developed than mine because of the position that you that you’ve taken up and and I would say with what are your thoughts on the you mentioned machismo that’s something that I’m interested to hear more about what what that where that comes from and what you would how you would advise people to deconstruct that that sort of some aspect of violence in and then also alcohol and Andrew role that you feel that plays or substance abuse and how that feeds into the violence well it’s definitely a collaborative effort of everyone social service providers to law enforcement to every single every single person has a responsibility to an hour in one of the things we have are you aware of basically the women from targeted community wengage and Outreach and education and what they do is they increase awareness of sexual assault and resources and domestic violence victims and their families but they also bring awareness and so one of the things that that we have here in our organization in mind you all women that can be women that are actively working a sex workers women for HIV positive Housewives just about anyone and they go through this training where they learn about their culture how their cultural experiences shape their identity with a lot of focus on the Latino cultures and Value Inn in the experiences that they might have had growing up and still one of the things that we encourage them don’t is to look at what what are the values of culture that contribute in a positive way to to have better communities to to make them feel safe right it in to make a change in the world and to keep those we encourage them to look at the one that can be toxic that can be done that perpetuate and we encourage them to to look at both and decide which ones they want to keep which ones they want to transmit to other generation so we start with that beautiful well thank you for doing that as well in I’m curious if we could go to the next question which is the just to the prevalence of alcohol and domestic violence I think is pretty well well known that a lot of sexual assault and violence happened in in circumstances that are sort of fueled by drunkenness and I’m curious if you have thoughts on to substance abuse and alcoholism and how that how that affects the work that you do and the the the women that you support but we do know that it art again you know what we need people were there as we don’t we do not follow up a model of trauma-informed that means we are not going to shame people if they have issues with substance abuse know we can help them try to get to the root of why they’re they’re using or why they’re drinking rice I can tell you definitely my perspective from what I saw growing now I can tell you that issues with alcoholism are very prevalent with the with the women who work in the bar and the emptiness sex workers because that is part of their work in order to make a living they have to drink with the client and so many women that start working in the barn and the emptiness when they start working in the bar on the time peanut they have never you know in their life they have never had a drink but once they start working out of their job it’s how they make that living and some many of them develop alcoholism that’s one of the things that I saw and so you know if you if you asked to do it that many have a history of abuse or trauma that it don’t even know that they have this history of abuser, they don’t even know what to name those feeling you know very bad idea that depression you have a very difficult situation for for the person you know when one of these again that I hate that I was able to see I was able to see because of the lack of support and empowerment and resources available to this woman I saw in a bunch of this day I still seen any of them Works who no longer work in the calendar because there was no support there was no one to assist them teach them how to how to make a budget how to save the money or even how to invest some of them and not only that but a lot of them ended up with issues of alcohol yeah I hear you and that actually comes at least to my next question really which is about what you see as some of the the positive outcomes and the I would say to be clear I don’t believe that it’s wrong to be a sex worker ever see for myself fight I am the part of the six work industry so there are some people would say well you just need to go to church and you need to quit the lifestyle and and and you need to leave it all behind you which I’m not I’m not here to say is this is right or wrong but but I will I will say that I’m very interested in what what six I think about the concept of a success story or someone who has overcome substance abuse or alcoholism and if they choose to remain active in the sex industry but I from a healthier place or if they choose to move beyond that I’m curious what you what are some of the pathways that you have facilitated or witnessed of of women who have become really empowered either is former sex workers or or or sort of sex workers in recovery what are some of the success stories that you would say that you’ve been a part of each other’s privacy and confidentiality if I can tell you that there’s this particular woman who is what after she became involved and after she was able to gather with other women saw other women like herself all about the right person for most of the human bean learn that there is nothing to be ashamed of learn to speak remind learn to Advocate Parker cell I was able to see an amazing transformation this is a person who now is able to speak up for herself this is someone who is able to negotiate pay for sex which I think it’s amazing to see this is someone who if she feels that someone is making her feel ashamed because of what she does she’s able to speak up she doesn’t know her head as she used to be for not just that but her priority priority priority herself above anything else in that include making better decisions when it comes to drinking that our decisions for her mean eating what you drink tea not not drinking as much as she used to before that you will forget to take her medication doesn’t make sense that is In N safety she she has been able to say she now has a savings account which is tremendous you know because now she’s planning or for the years I had to fight absolutely well I’ll take you out to other women beautiful well that’s that’s very good to hear and thank you again for doing that and just maybe a couple few more questions one will be going back to the the other half of the equation which is the the male role in and all of this into client role so I sounds like you’re yeah you have a lot of experience working with women who were in that that culture of the bar and cantina world and so like you said that there will be drinking is just part of the job and I’m curious if you if you could reach into the heart and soul of the the male clients and understand where they’re coming from and if they would maybe intergenerational trauma or or personal issues that they may be dealing with in and if we were to make if we were to all be working together to create more empowered and more conscious and then we’re healthy men and male clients and then maybe they would maybe this sounds ridiculous I guess but but I would love to see a world where where sex work is is legal and where people clients and and and service providers could meet up at a healthy juice bar or something or like a farmers market or something you know where it’s it’s not always in the context of of alcohol and that kind of sort of sector and so I’m just curious if when you think about this and when you work in this in this world if you do you have any advice for four men who are just maybe this sort of their kind of being set up or something I don’t know why I don’t know what you how you feel about just the whole the nature of that in of that that world of the the bar scene in the all that wouldn’t be able to provide education you know when I go out and we have those messages that week we share with with menopause sensitive to have healthy relationships with all the people in their life okay and do would you say while we’re on the topic of the Mennonite and I appreciate it and it sounds like what needs to happen is that more more men need to step up and organize and do Outreach it’s you already sounds like you’re already very your hands are full working with women and it sounds like that would be good for more men to anybody listening who has that the resources or the means to to do more Outreach Two Men and hopefully that will that will happen and I would say I just want another question just while we’re on the topic is if you if you feel like there is do you feel like a lot of the men who are of War buying the sexual services at women are they are they not really functional in their in their their own marriages that are on family life and are they I guess I don’t know like I said the other is there anything you can say about about the profile or the sort of in the attitude or the State of Mind of the mail client server or are they just a lot of single man to hoodoo don’t have a wife and that therefore they had they feel like they have to get through the day but with a beer you know with getting some drinks and inviting some sex and again there is so much so much change that needs to happen in one of them against the things that I be all that needs to happen from what I saw you know growing up in a very traditional community at 8 I was born in Mexico and I grew up in the town I was very religious it was okay for men to go to a bar in to go to La Cantina to look to spend some time with women right because many of them felt have to ask for certain things from their wives or their girlfriends was disrespectful and so they grew up thinking that the women that worked in the bar in the Campina where it was okay to have certain things of them right certain sexual things or even just to drink with them right again that idea that the women that worked in the casino or less than the women that are at home but that should not be the case that we can community that there’s this idea that yeah I’m going to go to the bar I’m going to go to the one with her right or she will be willing to deliver for a Spur to do and I cannot ask my wife to do that because she’s a good wife or she’s a good woman or she’s going to get offended if I ask her to do certain things when it might be very well that her wife at home or at home is wishing he will do those things with her because of how she grew up in this box that she was playing through gender role that don’t ask for something sexual well your violence violence that that if you are a good wife you would not dare ask for any of that and so that’s one of the things that I’m very passionate about teaching women again we let you know when it’s okay to to look for pleasure it’s okay to have conversations with your partner about certain things it’s okay to explore as long as you are both okay in the end it’s okay to look for a relationship with someone who is not going to feel threatened if you ask for certain things for your own pleasure well that is really powerful and I appreciate you saying that that really means a lot that really helps me understand a lot better and I hope I hope we can move towards that and and I appreciate the work you’re doing to create that space to explore and understand and and change the is paradigm so you’re so another question I have for you which is kind of this kind of extraordinary but I like to I like to do you know what some people call a thought experiment where you just think about what obviously you have you have some budgetary constraints and you have people power constraints but if you and your team or your colleagues the people you work within your organization if you somehow we’re blessed with the resources and the even just to say you won the lottery or something absurd like that but it was just say you had you had really almost Limitless potential or and Empower even politically to say okay this is all of this is all of the wisdom that we have and these are the proposals that we have and and if you just had what what you need to talk about investment and whatnot so if there was a if there was a venture capital firm that says we really think what you’re doing is important and we feel like that there is a benefit to society to have you you all have more resources and really if you if you had almost Limitless budget what are some of the things that you would do to to accelerate and grow and expand you know your services in certainly how I mean I would love to see since having been to the place you know your location I would love to see myself I would love to see you have more more acreage you no more land and something like the weirdest El Centro Farm was there some place where you can have Community Gardens in actual herbal Gardens in and healing natural areas and places for meeting that we’re outside and there were also safe and also had security so that’s just kind of what comes to my mind but I’m curious what you would do or what you would sort of dream up if you had almost no limits to what you can imagine wow there’s so much that we will definitely do love I can tell you that with a bigger budget we will definitely be able to since we will not have waiting list for four clients to to enrolled into into a program but definitely one thing will be to to increase to provide more support for the women that are hiv-positive because of budget I’m talking about financial support very limited women are always left behind and yet they’re the ones that love to see more help women’s health programs that are more sex-positive that are inclusive of sexual trauma Empower women to advocate for their sexual health definitely expand more men’s healing talking circles where they can wear the men pink and strengthen the relationship that we would love to see that but definitely if there was no monetary restrictions more more a healing circles or for women where they can talk about their health advocate for the health including their sexual health awesome thank you so much for sharing and I’m hoping that all of your dreams will come true you’re suddenly during such important and if I don’t work in the community and so yeah I wish you absolutely the best moving forward and hopefully yeah we’ll see each other again and then more more collaboration will happen that will be mutually supportive within our communities do you have any closing words you’d like to share and then also do you want to share the website URLs and any other links or any other ways to connect that would be great bilingual 24-hour hotline anyone can reach this hotline 24/7 the number is 800 5856 231 once again is 800-585-6231 and our website is www.ladwp.com org once again is so absolutely yes sir I appreciate it’s been an honor and do you have any last closing words you like to say is just a call to action or or things that you feel like if if people knew in NC could hear this voice than they would they would they would want to step up and and I guess it was before we say that you are a 501 c 3 charitable non-profit so donations are tax-deductible am I correct that we are especially in need of support because we have the only shelter in the mission where people can can go if they have just been sexually assaulted or if they have just landed on the hospital and they’re afraid to go back home or back to where the perpetrator or abuser is and we definitely need a lot of support for that our women’s HIV program a lot of sports comidas up with some sort of supporting in the dollar if you can share our website with others or even our Facebook page elawc please go ahead and do so we will be very grateful thank you so much Alejandro I think that was a really good introduction to all of the the work you’re doing and I hope that’s a lots of good things come from this and hopefully we will have meet again and and maybe we can follow up again and have you back on sometime in the future talk about some new developments and hopefully there’s there will be a lot more a lot more great things happening in the future so thank you again for your time and we’ll be in touch okay bye bye thank you for listening to the touch of Honey Pot www.entrepreneur.com can cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess temple in every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com Damas de