Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Android | Email | Google Podcasts | Stitcher | TuneIn | Spotify |
In this episode I’m joined by an extraordinary goddess on a path towards high level divine feminine leadership. I was enchanted by her very accessible and down to earth social media posts about shamanic healing and feel strongly that she’ll be able to raise consciousness within cyberspace with her natural glamour and light working skills that she’s continually developing to take herself and followers to the next level.
Her story of healing and endurance through great hardship is more than enough to motivate anyone to snap out of self-limiting stories, wake up and rise towards their destiny.
Please visit her website at:
Vanessa LeMaistre is a Spiritual & Soul Empowerment Activist. Her platform provides a self-improvement/positive lifestyle brand to customers who are looking to feel whole within themselves. Vanessa has overcome a lot and believes if she could, so can you. Vanessa is very inspirational and she aspires to inspire. She provides inspirational youtube videos on her youtube channel: www.youtube.com/uareart and on her social media platforms she promotes exerts and positive affirmations from her upcoming book. You can find her on social media platforms such as Ig, snapchat, Twitter under the name: vanessasoulxo which is also the name of her website domain. Her Facebook is her first and last name: Vanessa LeMaistre
AI Generated Transcription:
(Want to help with corrections? Please contact me to learn about rewards for your efforts!)
Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast episode number 155 I’m being joined by Vanessa Le mystery and she is Vanessa Soul EXO on social media and I discovered her work first by Instagram very lovely photographs exuding spiritual consciousness and artfulness that is really nice to see a really refreshing in the sort of sea of of people who were maybe not necessarily representing something from a deeper a deeper level of Justice in there you know lovely pictures doing the things out there in the world so I’m always always piques my interest to see people taking it to a higher level and then I even went down the rabbit hole and watch some YouTube videos inside there’s some really important powerful insights that Vanessa sharing a mainly with the video that I would like the most was all about an experience of shamanic soul-retrieval and the people who may have listened to podcast before or into Shamanism what other practitioners or students or or just fans of this sort of movement heard about that and and it’s kind of a really complicated thing and there’s a lot of elements to a but she’s able to break it down really nicely and I thought why not have her on to share that experience in more detail and can I give people more interested in also being just introduction to the work she’s doing and when I get to Taco also about just the the opportunities and the psychology of trying to get a foothold and get it a little slice of the pie in this whole social media new world of opportunity that can really Empower folks and not only the producers but also the consumer to the content just really with everybody up so with all that said Vanessa thank you for being here and please tell us about your personal background how did you get to be in this position you’re in now I’m I was born in Miami Florida and I guess I died but I’ve always been pretty deep but they are usually don’t say this but I feel comfortable sharing it with you that I recently discovered I’m an indigo child I think apparently the stars were lying so basically they figured out if you were at the planets line up in a certain way a lot of people are born when those planets were aligned then they’re mostly indigo’s but the thing with indigo’s is your born with a lot of wounds so you have two most indigo’s go through a lot of adversity from the time they’re born which was definitely my case I was abandoned by my dad I was sexually abused from 5 to 14 and all the pain I had to build this strength and the thing about indigo’s is where natural Warriors because they say we had many past lives going through things so being the child that I was and going through that type of adversity I had to build and cultivate positive energy and finding a way to think positively about life and I’ll say when I was about 21 I got introduced to The Celestine Prophecy which was a spiritual book that really changed my life I want out of this whole journey of spiritual growth and it wasn’t until I went through even more trauma just a box that you I I graduated from college move back to Miami Florida worked at one of the biggest nightclubs in South Beach is making very lucrative money so I would travel to India I got certified as teaching yoga I went on this whole path and I realized I can’t keep working here I need to go move forward with my goals so I moved to LA I lived there for four years and I was starting my self-help book because I really feel like I have a calling on a mission that I want to give back and hopefully Influence People backdating to when I was 21 I did have this guy read my palm for free and he read my cousins, as well told her she’s going to be a doctor at this time she was getting mad now she has her doctorate degree he also told her she can have a bunch of kids she’s a beautiful Belgian baby boy stunning and what he told me was that I’m a shaman and I was like what I don’t even know what that was so now that I’m getting into Shaman Shaman says you already know what the soul retrieval I am planning on taking up Shamanism because I do feel like I have that calling in my life but it wasn’t until I was in LA right when I finished my first draft of my self-help book you know here I am thinking okay I finished my first draft I want to be a motivational speaker I’m ready to take off then I went through like the biggest tragedy anyone could ever wrap their minds around I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy named Camden food literally changed my entire life but three days after he was born we found out something was wrong and when he was rushed to the NICU they found out she was having 96 seizures a minute and three weeks later they discovered he had a fatal disease that she was not going to make it he was going to live for three months backs I was like is this a fucking joke and I’m like what is going on right now so I knew that I had to pull every single ounce of strength in my entire being every bit of knowledge that I gained from overcoming adversity is Too Faced this detrimental thing I was about to face of oh my God I’m going to lose my son so I did that I pulled in every Source I started meditating I was hiking I was seeing a therapist I was doing yoga you name it I was in the battlefield and I was also determined to give him as much love as possible so thankfully he lives for more than three months he looks for full 9 months and he showed me so much his Spirit his energy was just a fighter and there were times when I thought about giving up and I was like man if he didn’t give up why why am I going to give up so that really propelled my journey and took it to another level because I never lost anyone before that I was close to you and this is probably the closest person to me my own flesh and blood and I’ll say that after I lost him I mean I wasn’t even here I was out of it and the past it getting my my life back into a normal state required a lot of spiritual growth I knew once he was diagnosed I knew my book was not done I knew my journey hasn’t hadn’t even started for a judgments were with where I was planning to go in life but I will say that the experience drives me deeper into myself then I could have ever imagined which is why I thought led to doing the soul-retrieval just very intense experiences I’ve I’ve been led to do for healing because it took me to that next level of a human trauma but also a human transformation and learning how to transcend those things so that I’m not a victim of past adversities but I’m more so of Victor and I can Propel my life forward so my engagements are still going I’m literally in the process of building a platform right now not just socially or just through Instagram excetera but but really with the hopes of building something very concrete so that way I can be all of the above a self-help author a motivational speaker inspirational speaker / Heeler because I am on the way to actually getting a master’s degree in a leadership program and Colorado where I will simultaneously be taking Shamanism courses so long with being a Healer I’m also starting a nonprofit in dedication to my son Camden where we can bring smiles and literacy and meditation to Children eventually all over the world well well thank you so much I’m just heartbroken and speechless I can’t imagine that I know that is the loss of a child is considered to be the worst thing a person on Earth can face really in and I I’ve lost people close to me but certainly nothing of that of that extreme nature although I guess the closest I’ve I’ve been is just been in I’ve had been in relationships were there been miscarriages and abortions and so I’ve been through that some tips on the male and which is obviously no nowhere near nowhere even close so I can I’m just sitting with this in and feeling very moved in does it does sound like what you’ve overcome gives you a lot of and for people that has it’s just really a wake-up call for people who are you don’t have petty petty limitations that they’re they’re not anywhere near that that extreme and if you can come out the other side and I like I never heard that that boost words put together so closely victim vs. Victor. What a perfect you’re already on your way to a two-year that that leadership role if you can use those little mind hacks and and get people waking up so that’s really great so if I’m curious what your role at the nightclub what week what was your what was your role at that nightclub bring up in Miami is a city I’ve always been a city girl so I’ve naturally so I started partying on it when I was 17 years old it was very fun it was it was crazy I mean we had every A-list celebrity that club is still going off strong it’s called live at the fountain blue it’s a five-star hotel and they got all the big Heavy Hitters from Kanye West to Puff Daddy Lil Wayne every hip hop artist you can think about the not only hip-hop they do Tiesto and it’s just insane I remember one year for New Year’s Eve general admission tickets were literally $900 and if you wanted to sit at a table you had to spend a minimum of twenty Grand the most I’ve ever sold at a table was $100,000 worth of bottles literally on chest I was feeling like I was not exploiting people but I was partaking in people selling their souls on a daily basis nothing negative to say about the nightclub it was a great experience however you ceased how much there I mean there’s Drug Money there’s escorts there’s guys literally throwing dollar bills in the air and girls going home to sleep with them because they’re popping bottles actually I was very close with the woman very pretty recently and I’m kind of ongoing who was all up in that exact kind of Lifestyle in Vegas where it sounds like exactly the same thing and it just blew my mind I had no idea I mean I assume that there was lavishness but that extent of just the conspicuous consumption you know it would be called in sociological terms in it’s a while so that’s great because I mean one thing that she that made her a very gregarious and very outgoing and Confident Woman and it really I can see the the effect especially like she was kind of managing the the whole stripper her husband was managing managing the strippers at these clubs and there is a lot of just trauma and Brokenness in all of that that sort of financial ecosystem and and she had to come and live with that her soul was kind of wounded by being a part of that that economy in but then she also was able to befriend them in her own shamanic healing kind of intrinsic nature was able to help them kind of threw that stuff so I’m sure you have a do you have a soft spot is a spot in your heart for the bus a single mothers who were in that game or if we’re trying to get out of that game and all that kind of stuff are there was a forty-one-year-old you would never know she was 41 but it’s all she knows so absolutely because I do think what you said you had a really good point a lot of those women I mean even including myself a lot of them were victims of sex abused or they feel like that’s the only way that they can validate themselves in a sentence to some degree or that that’s the only way they can get lucrative money when in reality you know women are not only sex body parts but you have a brain or like you said you can be inspiring you can have a message and I think a lot of women don’t necessarily know that especially in our society when we are taught that we have retro living in a society where is over-sexualized in a sense so we’re kind of taught that that’s all that were were when really it’s so much more all right well so do you want to talk about your experience with the shamanic soul-retrieval that was was a pretty recently or girls with a shaman the first one was not a soul-retrieval I just went for a regular healing in Miami Florida about 7 years ago and that was interesting where she kind of pulled up into my chamber of the wounds that she picked up that I was sexually abused from like many many many lifetimes this was like a repetitive thing going on and I was like oh my God you’re right cuz I didn’t tell her anything about me and not only did she pick that up but she also picked up who I really am which I believe we all have this within us what our and vision is for a true selves so she was able to pick up that truly what I am is a queen and I believe truly we all are kings and queens but the fact that she was able to pick that up in the midst of the Chamber of wounds I thought was very fascinating now this experience that I recently had with the soul-retrieval was very very intense and a very beautiful experience the lady when I met her she said her name is Costanza Morningstar over here in Silver Springs Maryland she asked me when she met me why do you want to do this and I told her I don’t think anyone doesn’t need healing on this planet I don’t I don’t care how old you are I feel like everyone is gone through something where they could heal from and a lot of people’s personalities in that sense actually went while driving and road rage but for me I I just knew that I had a lot of Hang-Ups and a lot of other traumas that weren’t as may be a severe is my big lifetime adversity is that that kind of left me hung up and I knew that I didn’t want to go forward with that just hanging there so I actually meditated on the things that are why is it sealed prior to the soul-retrieval session with her and one of them was a previous best friend who supposedly spent 20 grand on a curse like a black magic curse on me and it was something that I’ve it took years to forget it was coming up but it was just always in the back of my mind and I really wanted some help cutting up that cord if that makes any sense and I wanted to retrieve the part of my soul that I knew I lost from that experience because not only did I lose the best friend I lost a part of myself and that was just one thing you know losing my son’s father he wants me in the middle of my pregnancy and and married his ex-girlfriend so I knew that wasn’t hang up I wanted to retrieve my soul from so there was a couple of these things I meditated on and she was like Wow Vanessa I think because you took the time and I would recommend this to anyone doing a soul-retrieval is to take the time to meditate on what you want to heal because that’s exactly what’s going to come up in those parts of your soul will come back to you during the retrieval so I walk in I tell her these people ain’t I tell her a little bit more about myself and she’s like okay well I’ll just stay open and let’s get to it be every Shopkin has Spirit helpers that work with them and the point of this experience is when you go through a trauma a part of your soul leaves as a defense mechanism I know for me many parts of me left going up because I had a best friend say Vanessa how can you just block things out like that and it’s because it’s not cuz I had a superpower is because as a child certain things I went through we’re just too intense I had to tap out but every time I was tapping out and blocking those things out that was my soul leaving to it to feel stays so what she was able to do was she was literally able to grab those pieces back because according to her when they leave you there actually being healed their healing themselves so she brought those healed pieces back to me with certain good and for me it was a lot she retrieves five different soul hearts and after the fifth one she told me her spirit helpers told her that’s enough for today cuz it was just too much so she started off with me laying on my back and she was doing her chanting she was dancing to her Spirit guides and animals you were helping her and she was taking notes in the middle of her session the power went off completely and she couldn’t really function appropriately because she needed some music so she had to do it with her mouth she improvised but it ended up working out fine I swear to God by the end of the session the lights all came back on it was like perfect timing but one of the gifts that she did mention was that for example when my son’s father left me the gift that thoughtful part brought back to me is to learn to love myself again because they’re edit it kind of makes sense when he left a part of me felt like I didn’t know how to love myself like oh my God what’s wrong with me you know why did he abandon me so that was empowering another Soul part that came back to me was my five year old self that was the first age I was when I was sexually abused and although I was abandoned by my father at birth she said from the age of five to seven my inner child felt very abandoned and I’ve I was crying hysterically when she said that because I didn’t correlate that I just correlated my experience with oh my God I was sexually abused I didn’t realize that wow I needed I needed nurturing I needed someone to talk to me so I wouldn’t feel so abandoned and alone but the gift that that 5 year old child brought back to me was the gift of moving forward and not feeling stuck moving becoming allowing myself to be truly independent which also makes sense if you think about someone who feels abandoned they might not have the strength to move forward and feel independent and autonomous and they’re being so it was very all of the gift she brought back to me were extremely empowering and and to be honest she knew that I couldn’t leave right away she’s like I want you to just seen a look around the room integrates all of this that just came back to you and she she warned me that I would feel a little drained or I might feel very energetic because she brought all this energy back into me and to close out her session she proposing a lot of Divine Light because she’s pulling so much back into your being that she has to fill it with white Divine Light or else she says anything can just take home your body which obviously you wouldn’t want so the next couple of days I noticed that I was very out of it and drained and the weirdest things are happening two things one I was getting a little moody in like very very very Bitchie and I wasn’t sure what was going on I felt like it was some residue from just past issues that we’re coming up in and kind of expelled out of my body and the other thing that was happening that was very beautiful is I started to feel more of my spirit inside of me like I literally started to feel more full and that’s the best way I can describe it and I’ve read different articles that say these things take months sometimes or weeks or even years you’ll just keep feeling yourself become more and more integrated more and more whole it was definitely fascinating and honestly I want to go back for more because it seemed like I had more parts to retrieve but that session was just enough to do 5 that was more that was like a Max for me that day so I do plan on getting another session done future well I love the way you talk about this it’s really is I’m just stuck in Imagine women eventually getting their nails done or their hair done at the beauty salon and then started talking about these experiences and it’s and it’s as normal as talking about going to the auto mechanic for a tune-up or an oil change so I didn’t know I thought I had it all back together but there was a whole other chunk missing and misses work that’s a good thing because this is the first time I’ve really heard the narrative that you’re saying about how they’re getting healed and they’re heading to bring back a gift and it’s it isn’t just the the dreary side of Ono these horrible things happen and wouldn’t it be nice to be whole again but if you can actually have a some additional benefit a sort of prize for your suffering in a way then that’s even more incentive to want to take this stuff seriously if you know you might you might actually benefit and have unexpected you know value come back either that means another another girl so glad you brought up the importance of sort of ceiling the container if you will because yeah if your it’s almost like you just had open heart surgery and if you don’t get bandage properly you stay open for infection so so with that gift I think I find it very fast and then she brought back was that now I’ll be able to trust friends and friendship and I’m honestly noticing myself just being more social letting people in a little bit easier getting and it’s honestly helping me give love two people more easily instead of like cuz sometimes I think if we get hurt by people it’s easy for us in the back of our minds stay ready just presuppose they’re going to hurt us or if that person is judgmental when we really haven’t given them a chance but I’m finding I’m doing that a lot less and I’m just more easily giving love two friends that’s awesome yeah I know I’m a big believer in the power of overly just that everybody everybody’s kind of constantly cursing themselves and others very unconsciously and not usually with too much skill or Consciousness books so that’s pretty much what we’re having just constantly complaining and judging everything and and they’re putting things down and everything have to be somehow beneath us to protect ourselves from really taking responsibility to think so you know when people take it to the next next level and then start actually hire professionals it’s it’s a much bigger practice throughout other parts of the world and here it’s not so but there it does exist and and and for people to take that very seriously that’s a huge part of you know maintenance and self-care is to just do the cord clearing cutting loving or you want to call her so would you think you’ll be doing any like as you start studying and stuff more doing videos where you just kind of give daily tips or self-care basic shamanic the next video I do on YouTube will be about my inner healing but I’m doing lately it’s just been getting very intense in my meditations and just even learning the art of Court cutting she I was doing it a little bit before but this Sean and specifically specifically helped me do some more concrete cord-cutting for example and that practice alone I feel like would be great tips to share and just even the things I’m discovering my in my medications or things that people are sharing with me this might be a little extreme for me to go into topics fully right now but there’s something going on in in my left eye since my son was diagnosed and it’s very energetic so I can’t really find too much information on it but about two weeks ago a woman sent me an article on Shamanism specifically with a practice for healing the left eye and I was like so I just think that when anyone is open to that inner healing Journey things to start coming your way with tips and tricks and synchronicities where it’s just that the other perfect timing type of thing so I will definitely go into descriptions and tips with feelings that I’m fighting for myself because it’s definitely a focus from me right now is healing and I know that from watching other shamans they’re at their point is to kill them quickly and fast so they can start doing the work on others because they know that they to need to heal before their linguistic programming practitioner and he was able to defeat phobias and interrupt patterns of people’s long-standing neurotic sir loops and their minds that had just been crippling them and it’s interesting because a lot of the shamanic techniques which are even more more deeply rooted in traditional cultures and have more of a track record than then even modern you know psychological hacking techniques but as busy as real as I know those are it’s also if you can connect someone to a spirit animal while they’re on stage in front of a thousand you know 10,000 people and then they have a revelation and that’s proof in the pudding and that’s really good for yellow building that kind of leadership and and it’s not it’s not giving key if you can change someone’s life and you know really make a difference to see something like that Bakery I’m so big on power Danimals to I just leave everybody has them and they’re here for where is and and it’s such a unique personal Bond the way the strommen constanza describe it to me she said do you know they’re not it’s it’s it’s like a real pet it’s really you know how you bond with your dog and they become like your best friend that she’s like that’s what all of us have with our power are power animals in our are animal totems when they show up in our lives for us SCI Greene with you how do you and your conception at this point of just the role of Spirit guides DUI I guess I have my own my own personal relationship my own opinions I feel like for the most part they’re trying to communicate like if you’re not actively if you’re not actively developing rapport to to connect with and speak to and listen to them in in in NB Fielding in new insights and they’re going to have to just throw you hints by any means necessary and it could be like making you trip and fall so that you see something from word on the spray paint on the wall and then that gives you a little but they if they if you don’t give them a voice than they will just do their best to eat to get in a word in edgewise and it will certainly be unfriendly guys who are trying to subvert your path and there they will be way more in charge like driving you know I’m driving the ship the ship for you without question is so do you want to talk about the bit about your yeah that stepping into that awareness yet you my relationship with them but Aldo their new it’s been very intense and a very strong bond I’m building with them I used to want to learn how to connect with them so badly and I wasn’t getting answers I wasn’t sure how to do it if it was working and the more quiet I got the more okay I became with tuning into the inner world the more I realized it’s actually just happening and for me for example I just started getting very close to one of them named Alexandria a woman who I had a psychic once told me that she’s living through you vicariously because she’s had different lifetimes where she was abused but she knows how to have this tough badass attitude even though she was abused and she’s like a warrior goddess and a friend of mine suggested it’s good to set up an appointment time kind of how you would meet with your friend let’s say you’re meeting with Joe and you’re like Hey Joe let’s meet up at 4 p.m. at Starbucks so I tried it with her and I was like okay 11:30 I’m going to meet up with you and I were making some mugwort tea and I lo and behold forgot the time but when I look it was literally 11:30 on the dot I was like okay and when I close my eyes I was able to Envision her clear her body clearly she was tan skin long hair curvy but beautiful and she was about my size and from that moment on for the next couple days I swear to God I kept looking at the time and I was always 11:30 p.m. or I would just get beard to look at a sign and it would say Alexandria which is how I knew that’s her name and so building that rapport with her specifically has allowed me to understand more the Dynamics of dealing with my other Spirit guides because we we all have more than one sometimes I think I’ve heard that we can have just like one for dominant one in our lives depending on what’s going on but usually we have more than one so I’ve been connecting with different guys like the guy who I believe gives me wisdom and I don’t know if you smoke marijuana or not but sometimes if I’m smoking or even if I’m not smoking out of nowhere it’s like boom and invite will come through and I know it wasn’t thinking about anything but all of a sudden. Just dropped out and it seems like thin air but really that’s your guys giving you information and what job and so I’ve learned to pay attention to those cues for example if I’m not thinking about something beforehand and all of a sudden and insight comes I know it’s my guys or being looked like you said it’s some people might have to trip and fall to see the sign on the billboard but sometimes if you’re just driving and all of a sudden you look and you don’t know what made you look to the left at that billboard those are your Spirit guides and same thing with the animals I literally recently stopped eating meat cold turkey because I was connecting with beer and ice how do you do that how did what do you mean how why would you stop eating meat because of that explain to her that I feel like we as human beings are sold and so are the animals they have souls inside so I feel like if we communicate on we send send messages to those Souls they pick it up I was just driving one night and my bass was bumping really loud and the deer was just looking right into my soul and we literally had a moment and I could feel it was understanding every single message I was giving chew it so from that moment on I was just like no I’m done with eating me I’m just I’m done and Deerwood keep showing up in my life and it really becomes this beautiful bonding experience where you know that they’re connecting with you because because you feel the joy you start feeling happy you know that the Sean actually suggested to dance to your animals because the Spirit guides and animals date they want to have human experiences so I know some people give offerings and she said if you dance then they’re going to dance with you because I really really like engage Man in The Human Experience has been doing that lately and leaving offerings for whether it’s goddesses that are coming to my life at the moment or that I’m connecting with and I just start to feel close to them and it’s beautiful because you realize that you don’t need to have them physically here and they can be kind of closer to you then if someone is physically there with you it’s really fascinating and it’s it’s me it’s like a world of trust but also such a beautiful beautiful spiritual experience are you telling me that you don’t just sit around watching Netflix all all the time and all your free time you’re actually engaging your own life experience and directing your own life movie that’s why I stopped watching TV so long ago I’m just not into TV and I think it’s great you know anything’s wrong with it and just yeah there’s more spiritual things you could be doing that’s kind of just the meantime if that is your lifestyle I hopefully your Spirit guides will help you select the films that you need to get you like The Celestine Prophecy is actually film to so everyone starts over there at in in in yeah I do actually I’ll say a very grateful to streaming media because that’s how I’ve really built a lot of my education there’s so much so many people like you are out there making content now that you can actually access it even if you are totally plugged in and you’re not really exercising your own reality staying so you know there’s a couple things I want to thank you for for bringing up definitely the the spiritual bonding with animals is a huge factor that comes out and and I love that you were bringing up the I’ve had very many similar experiences of of being happy my attention and my focal point be directed without my conscious designer our awareness and just all the sudden I’m at you know something in the periphery of my vision like I could be reading something on the center of a screen and then then like you said all kind of feel this also the sort of jerk or it’s not like a uncomfortable it’s just sort of immediately brought to awareness of all of the numbers on the clock being the same 555 11:11 is just as soon as I just feel like it’s it’s always has a reminder that there are other beings who are either either perceiving reality around you through your eyes somehow or is there and they’re sort of connected through like a Wi-Fi or Bluetooth looks like they have your eyes they can do it yeah and so that’s one way to knowing that the actually that started happening for me more than ever after some soul retrieval experiences so I kind of feel like it’s they want to help you not be a skeptic and not doubt when you have profound experiences they will be like see there is more than meets the eye and ear will keep moving it’s oh so you don’t lose Faith at school can I hook it up yeah it’s going to be shy at school so do you want to talk about what you have planned what you’re you know what you have from just now that you’re kind of a I mean yeah what would you decided to integrate this stuff and then become do this leadership training and get a master’s degree as his awesome so what do you what do you for what are you serious or your longer-term goals with all this said that the program is interesting because it’s it’s environmental base which they were explaining the importance of of our star spiritual responsibility to connecting with the Earth because it’s alive and how everything is intertwined with that and not only is it environmentally base its social justice based which I think is also our due diligence and responsibility to connect with on as as every person and taking that personal responsibility so I’m really looking forward to that experience especially because it is out of spiritual School although it’s accredited the founders Buddhist the students go to school Barefoot if they shoes it’s very non-judgmental and I’m really fascinated about it because the whole school’s consensus is about diving into yourself and connecting with others and and having the rock courage to do that and really being able to pull back the layers which I think are all very important to learning leadership skills and not only for yourself but also with connecting with others and the specific program is called resilient leadership because it’s about sustaining an organization because anyone can start an organization but can you sustain it can you keep a resilient so for me I’m I’m finding this as being something beneficial as I Propel forward and really build a platform for for myself as a African American descent female who’s trying to be an inspirational speaker and that’s that’s a platform that you don’t go to school for you can’t just you know wake up and say okay I’m going to start speaking in that it’s as easy as that it’s really a lot of working a lot of building so I’m really excited about that and as soon as I move to Colorado next week I’ll be actually taking up something what you’re doing I’m taking up a tantra healing practice wear according to them they say it’s non-sexual I’m I’m going to be a Nubian it and learning the healing modalities of Tantra but according to them they said it’s mostly energy healing through the chakras and their just calling it Tantra so maybe you can explain a little bit more share a little bit of that because that is what I’ll be diving into as soon as I got there actually is perfect saying only synchronicities yeah me too to just put put a little note out on on my thoughts on this site I think the best the best way I can share the reality of proportionality of sexuality in Toronto training is really that the sex chakra is 1 of 7 so that’s the 7th of the total picture of your total being and if if the goal is to Inn in the neotantra we’re young people often criticized the modern Western use of the word Tantra because it has become hyper sexualized and even when the intention is there among Steelers and in teachers to have integrity and and hold the the bigger full seven chakra & Beyond sort of bigger picture of what it means to be spiritually healthy and have sexuality not be cut out of that and not and not be ignored it’s like it can be over emphasized and then people can get stuck there where they can get abusive there and certainly with so much trauma healing that needs to happen there’s a tendency really a foul and vile tenancy for unpeeled people or people who are kind of not fully conscious and they become susceptible to forces that will literally possess them to to to create more wounding and deeper wounding in those trauma healing state so it’s them it’s it’s it’s the biggest tragedy in the biggest sick kind of irony so I have a lot of respect for the people who are distancing themselves from those patterns and I know that there’s three it’s just so hard to tell me every school has has different light and Shadow about it and you know what my biggest I guess my for me I feel like the what usually is a safe the safest bet is to work with for women to work with women to heal each other using tantric techniques to connect to the router on Shakti to connect to their own Durham Kundalini and tonight not associate that activation of their own Divinity with having sex with a guru you know that that’s Austin what gets conflated is that in light sexual Enlightenment happens when a woman goes to a male Guru either in India or somewhere in the world and pays them a lot of money instead of the sort of like even you know him and so yeah I say if you’re bypassing that all together that’s a good a good thing because often it ends up being a bad story and then for people who especially women who are sexually traumatized you want to experience the sexual Liberation that comes from the tantric practices than there are I have you know a list of the women who I respect most throughout the world who were doing this work and we’re really Vigilant about how male energy comes into the space if you know if and when it’s appropriate and I feel like there’s a better the most glorious path with is when sexually wooden people pick up the tools amongst trusted you know facilitators and instructors and then once the healing his start to really happen and you start to grow a mature then then it’s appropriate to go and share that energy with other like male Masters or male practitioners who who are not going to be like way above a person’s level like if you think about a lot of the the women who were like we were talking about strippers you know in general and and not to put them down or anything but if if they have not been formally educated because they had to start working the streets or working the club’s when they were supporting their family cuz it came from poverty and you know if there was never a chance to really grow academically intellectually in that sense and and if the the sexual maturity is that of still pandering to and pleasing the abuser because it’s the only attention you’re getting then even if you’re 30 years old or whatever you may not be you still may be operating from a very juvenile mindset and that goes for men and women I mean I I came from a male sex worker background so I know I’ve ever experienced the same thing I mean you can be stuck in your development and if someone who is a higher level of spiritual sexual Mastery comes along and it literally takes advantage of your vulnerability then I consider that to be as culpable as actually abusing children because in a sense that’s spiritually that’s where things are at so people can come up and really ethically develop themselves in the company of other trusted people wear that Dynamic really is precluded then it’s kind of the more glorious thing is that you can graduate from those kind of human experiences in and have the initiation of experiencing the Tantra goddesses and the tantric deities and all that good stuff and then from a more healed place then go and have fun and share that share the energy and make sure you know you’re not being drained and by parasites and vampires out there that’s my public service announcement about Martino work what you got to watch out for but it sounds like you’re going to be and I know it’s the last thing I would say is it a lot of people have bad experiences with tantric meetups with Tantra Masters are schools and what time it’s really I feel like you got to give it you got to give it at least a handful of different try to go to a handful of different people and places and experience different modalities before you make a full judgment about whether or not it’s right for you to even pursue anymore because you never know you know you might not get the best experience right away but if you do that they’re due diligence oh yes oh that sounds cool you going to move to your moving to Colorado for a training or yeah tell us more about that but simultaneously so part-time while we doing is energy work I’ll do I’ll learn Tantra healing modality and then on the side I’ll be learning Shamanism so I’ll be able to incorporate both modalities and grow grow on my path as I keep going as a Healer and really just learning to cultivate giving and and doing my Dharma I truly feel like I came to helping spirit so it’s to me it is about service and and contributing and ways that I can to to help someone evolve and really really heal themselves so I’m really excited about that and my book I’m I’m also going to be working on finishing my my final chapter of my book which will be coming out the end of this year were most likely the beginning of 2019 which if my schedule is not too crazy hopefully I can go and book stores you know so I’m really excited about all of these Endeavors that are finally growing because I planted the seeds 45 years ago and I’ve just kept going and going and going and I I just have never given up and and for me giving up is not an option it’s just to keep propelling forward because to be honest I feel like there was a big blessing and in Camden coming and leaving it’s kind of like well man I feel more of a more more of the determination to come here to fulfill what I came here to fulfill if that makes any sense I feel like we all have a burning desire for something and for me it’s these goals that I have that that I’m really that are really starting to sprout right now so it’s definitely like a sprouting season for me right now but it’s like the little buds are just starting to sprout if that makes sense so it’s very exciting so I knew there was something more than meets the eye when I saw you an Instagram again I just feel like I have all these all these different people in my feed coming through I’m just sort of studying the the effects on culture of this new medium we’re really unlike ever before and I’m old enough now in my late thirties to Remember When there were actually try to think about it now I when I was when I was growing up even around getting through puberty and wanting to be sexually available in sexually expressive and all of those things and just being like it cost a lot of money to go and buy film for a camera and then you take those pictures then you have to go and wait for like a week to have it developed and then who is ever going to see those pictures you might put them in the album they might go on a shelf but there is no way you’re not going to go around to everybody in the school and say hey like we’re going to spend imagine how long it would take if if the level of rapid and even things like Snapchat now so it’s in it’s such a it’s crazy but that’s I guess the hope is that if if it’s going to just be the soup of insults and shaming and bullying and there can be just wherever the light can shine through it can have a big big impact because it’s and it’s going to be needed so you know we can’t walk away from it the fact that we can do all this now you know how it sits and then you can be a magnet and I will say that you know if it if it doesn’t offend you you know for me to to speak in this way I think it’s just because it’s an academic study for me at this point not that I don’t have some like sort of you know I’m still have the stream of images and and they’re all triggering different parts of you you know to see all of that guy’s got bigger muscles than me or that that’s the woman of my dreams and I’ll never even meet her and you know they’re so fancy and I’m whatever you think you’re going through a million of these of these sort of a cycles and I it’s what you know everybody is kind of anorexia or this dysmorphia from social media where they call it like social upward compare or what it comparison or whatever and you know two to be an Angelic force in that realm and to be someone who you know I’m striving to be at if I could get really really fit then people will listen to me like fathom that I guess that’s just how it works though. That motivates me to do more push-ups or do whatever it takes because then it amplifies my voice you know what it is it’s just that is what it is if I was just too thin you know Yogi out there with a giant beard you know after the mountains may be a few people might come and make a donation and and listen to me kind of Babel or something but but if I can actually get out there and compete with all these people who were poor so influential then so be it and so you know when I see the this interesting the sort of hourglass Obsession in media now which is changed from the very thin model the very Western white no features no curves Paradigm and how that shifted to a much more goddess figure or traditional and is so I feel like the as much as we’re living in the patriarchy the fact is if you look at the numbers on the social media is kind of printing out the true reality that everybody is still actually worshipping the voluptuous email for him and so to be able to and then you know I don’t I’m not missed I feel like there’s a place just to study I’m not going to say what is right or wrong for for whatever but I will say that when I look at the numbers and do the math the people the women who are the sort of exuding that that that figuring out are the ones with millions and millions and millions of followers and I look at some of their profiles and it’s been ages have 10 pictures of Wonder at the beach another one there you know at the gym and other one there at the club and end in your legs is a fake profile as someone just scrape these images and put it together because if it’s that easy ones going to hire a few models that that look like that and then I’ll put chakras in the background of their picture I’ll put you know some shamanic drumming thing going on in the picture and that will just sort of but know some people that sleep for real and doing it so I see you’re you infinite growth potential in that direction and and I’m I’m going to yeah just energetically and and it’s some point hopefully financially be supporting efforts type of people like you to actually you know you’re you were in the in the eyes of the masses that the low-hanging fruit that’s actually potential to really fertilize in in in four people so that’s my analysis is no that’s my analysis so far but how do you feel about that yeah do you do you sense that you I mean just I love to hear I’m very curious since I have these out of it and I’m like window shopping for souls to build alliances with and then night you know from your perspective you’re actually your enchanting people with your likeness and is doing the magic so what is your experience like and what do you feel this like you were responsibility there and in all that good stuff. And you really hurt so many great points and a great observation I feel like I’m by Nature I’m not a competitive person so I don’t believe in competing with others so I haven’t really too much struggled with a hole comparison aspect and I’ve had girlfriends who I overheard many time say oh I try to stay off of it because it makes me feel bad about myself I start comparing you know why am I not a stand why is my waist not as thin why is my but not as big and I feel like that’s also an easy Rabbit Hole to fall down into if you’re not conscious or conscientious of your worth and Anna of the beautiful aspect of being able to have this Liberation to express yourself in your own authentic way I do feel like the the portal that is a bit available to us is so empowering for the female species because because it can go to different ways we can either be shamed for it which is something growing up in a Haitian Family household I was always kind of shamed for dressing quote on quote sexy but for me it’s very liberating because I don’t have a family that I need to worry about telling me Oh that’s too revealing I have the freedom to to post whatever it is that I want to post and I think I love those pages of women for example who are just being Rebels and there they have their titties out and they’re breastfeeding and they’re saying you know it’s kind of like feminism because we are feel like the amber rose slutwalk for example we have the right to look as sexy as we want and not necessarily have to be shamed as being a slut so I find that is very very liberating and I feel like a specially when a woman can tie into the deeper level underneath that sex that sexy for example whether it’s a message or whether it’s chakras or and even if it’s not something spiritual let’s say her messages just being fit and healthy I think combining those aspects is so empowering for others just to look into so they can find out within themselves that’s music to my ears and so what do you feel like are some strategies are our plans or or did you are you thinking okay I’m going to like if you would like to see you still you continue to grow in your audience grows how how do you plan to feed them and nourish them and nurture them and I guess one thing I’ll start with this are you have you have you or will you do talk about your tattoo on your back that’s a pretty so yeah so for me I’ve always wanted or recently in the past few years I’ve wanted a back tattoo of the Goddess Isis or originally known as offset who Cleopatra he’s used to actually worship her and they say she’s the daddy of of the true Virgin Mary that the Europeans stole and called the Virgin Mary so because she three days prior to her so with that image on my back I had someone recently asked me if I think that tattoo was a healing tattoo for me I cannot even explain to you the amount of messages I’ve received from getting that tattoo that’s far from Isis I am kind of briefly but I had a dream recently where I had seen a woman with a back tattoo of Isis as well and I sent to her I said battle I love your tattoo license you have one too she starts crying and she goes oh my God I’m going to get emotional right now because you’re starting to see that I am her and I didn’t really understand what that meant but moving forward in my dream it gets really adventurous and my brother in real life was actually visiting me so he was sleeping on a mattress on the floor and on my windowsill in the dream I look up and I see a stuffed bird the bird starts moving with all this mystical music in the background and it literally slowly comes right into my mouth and goes inside of my mouth I didn’t swallow it but it was stuck in my mouth to the point where I tried waking up to get my brother’s attention I’m like trying to call out John John but I couldn’t talk and finally I woke myself up from the dream but later on I started to realize that the dream was symbolic of me really ingesting and taking Goddess Isis into my very being which I feel we all have the capacity and ability to do with any previous god or goddess and so for me with the images of my strategy is so I actually do have a big speech coming up this Saturday in the monument at Washington DC for a cancer that now it’s only a five CH however I am so honored to do this because I want to inspire people who are fighting with cancer we’re fighting with anything kind of how you said well it makes people put their Petty problems into perspective not saying cancer is anything Petty however I feel like if you have the opportunity to fight that’s a blessing so my goal and my strategy and enforce were mainly speeches that I plan to do moving forward is to be dressed as a goddess because I feel like we need to just break the trend be a rebel do something different I feel like they use the world they need something different so anything that we can do to step outside of the box I think it’s amazing and so for me it’s really tiring and creativity and and The Feminine Divine Essence of the goddess and it’s really to allow people in the crowd whether you’re a male or female to connect with that goddess or God within you because that’s just an archetype that we all possess well that’s so cool right that is so next level now this is what we need and everyone is so hooked into the Marvel Comics superheroes and that’s that’s really what the mythological deities were all about I mean to embody the the highest virtues and to the stolen with powers and if we could you know be aspiring to to hold that the vibration their costuming it’s you it’s magic it is it’s the easiest if I want to say well maybe that’s the easiest cuz it’s a lot of it is so ornate and in so much effort goes into but I guess if that’s it for the most undeniable transformative magical effects is just well I mean look at all the cartoons and even the when I all the things I bonded with He-Man and robot talking robot Car Warriors and you know it could be anything so yeah please and it’s not just cause play either even though that’s cool but if you can really be doing invocation and say yeah before the speech I did a little ritual ceremony and brought invited you know someone that looks like you’re introduced to the speaker introduce you and you introduced the guy that says he speaks well that is so exciting and it feel like you’re on to some great amazing things and do you have any other thoughts feelings device you want to share as we come to a close here and certainly shirt out of the best whiskey will get ahold of you I hope you will you don’t have a real duel links ready and all that good stuff what kind of dog is the only advice I give is piggybacking off of what you said with the the platform that we have now with social media I feel like I said it’s an opportunity for everyone to be their own celebrity in their own way and to cultivate their creativity bye-bye really unleashing a part of yourself that truly expresses your authentic self because I feel like we all can learn something from everyone and so I can easily be found on all of my social media at Vanessa’s Soul EXO and that’s for my website my Instagram my Twitter Snapchat Vanessa s o u l x o and then my YouTube page which I’m very pleased that you actually did take a liking to that then I appreciate that is under the the channel youtube.com flash you the letter u a r e art art because I do believe you are art and so that’s how you can find me on that and the title of my book which will be out soon is going to be called believe in your soul so just look out for that and I look forward to connecting with all you guys thank you so much for having me but I really appreciate it and this wonderful beautiful talk we had you in if anything that comes up anything you want to announce please let me know and we’ll certainly be covering your book when it gets when it comes out as well in the meantime anything else just let me know all right take care of you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the shop in addition to sustaining and improving the podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been at kontrapunkt. Com Thomas gay
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Android | Email | Google Podcasts | Stitcher | TuneIn | Spotify |
In this episode I’m joined by my most revered shamanic practitioner Christina Pratt. I’ve diligently studied her podcast archive and found her to be without a doubt the foremost scholar of all things shamanic. I was delighted to have the opportunity to explore her personal background in more detail, to learn about the mechanisms of shamanic healing, and to take a sobering look at the epidemic of soul loss, its dire consequences, yet potentially simple solutions.
Please visit her websites at:
Thirty years ago with, a full cosmology of spirit help, Christina, brought forward The Cycle of Transformation, an extremely challenging, four-year training in the shamanic skills needed to create the New World in our time. She is the founder and primary shamanic healer at Last Mask Center (www.lastmaskcenter.org) in Portland, Oregon and the author of the two-volume set, An Encyclopedia of Shamanism. Christina’s international, live-Internet radio show, Why Shamanism Now, offers over 350 hours of free podcasts on the practical application of shamanism in the archives at (www.whyshamanismnow.com).
AI Generated Transcription:
(Want to help with corrections? Please contact me to learn about rewards for your efforts!)
Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin welcome to Township hunt podcast episode number 125 I’m joined by Christina Pratt the host of the why Shamanism Now podcast founder of the last mask Center and author of the Encyclopedia of shamanism and I just have to say I have listened Christina to pretty much all of your podcast and binge listened while I was doing lots of permaculture landscape projects and really was able to deeply digest so much of what you have offered and I feel like to give you some praise I want to see I really feel like you have Consolidated and synthesized and really been able to package some of the most advanced understandings and and wisdom’s interested vast array of epistemology is that you’ve been able to kind of Chiropractic in a way to offer to the modern mind especially the Westin neurotic modded mine it’s just Priceless and I just thank you so much for having done that work and I’m obviously just scratching the surface this is the tip of the iceberg the podcast cuz what you also had offers multiple types of training programs and you’ve written literally written the book on chamonix Encyclopedia of time is in which I’ve yet to to read and I I look forward to having the time to but a few more words of Praise I’ll say is that I when I was going to every episode and taking screenshots of my phone to capture the moments where I would need to be taking notes if I was of course I’ve got tons of screenshots from the Highlight moments and I’ve got to I was selecting with episodes that I thought would be a good Core Curriculum to offer to other people to say hey this is episodes you should start with if you don’t have the endurance that I do and it was like a hundred episodes has the requisite rear exit and so I’m going to have to whittle those down and eventually but that’s just a more more praise and I gotta stay it’s really been so helpful and so that’s all to say I’m really extremely grateful to be in this moment where where I’m going to be able to explore some of the advanced material that you have to offer and give you the space to to speak freely about your your personal journey and I also all the last thing I want to say is that you have been so gracious after I fumbled the first scheduled episode that we had a week ago I was in this Twilight Zone of a situation that resulted in me waking up an hour and a half after we are scheduled time so I just want to fall on the sword and apologize for that again so thank you again for your graciousness and with all that same Christina please if you would give us one of your beautiful. Introductions your space holding in container building intros that are classic on your podcast if you would think I know I’m honored to be here I think it’s just important for us to teach and so it’s not a problem at all that we’re having a around to all right so let’s just take a moment and shift here and and asked that we might receive assistance here today in these proceedings and let’s extend our awareness out to the East and we call the East End that our hearts might be clear here and open us to visions of pain spell Futures that we might share in a better way with all living things than humanity is at this moment and may we awake and that possibility that lives in each of our hearts to see this possible future and to want to care in our hearts to live it and I’ll let’s turn a quarter turn to the South and we call out to the energy of the South that our hearts are full full full hearts that we can access the power of love in our hearts and bring that to bear in our every deliberation and throughout our day and as we go into our dreaming at night may we be strong in our hearts and understand that it is the human heart that makes us so special here in our place in this great Web of Life another breath let’s take a quarter turn to the west and we call out to the energy of the West to be with us here today and to waken in us an open heart that we might be open to the wisdom that is all around us not just from each other and those for a different than we are but those were here in other forms the plants and animals to the mountains to the rivers to all that is here in this great Web of Life May our hearts open to that wisdom I remember that time back so far in the past when we could all still talk to each other and finally let’s take a quarter turn to the north, call out to this energy to be with us here today and it helped us to have a strong heart and that’s through our strong Hearts way we access our power to do good work in the world to be better humans and to Manifest this possible vision of a new world where people understand their good relationship with all living things and as his container into a complete circle around us and we call out to the helping spirits to come in let us reach up to the highest power reaching all the way up and however we conceived of this energy would we simply see it as the Sun or the beautiful full moon or the stars above Matey’s radiant Divine energies from above shine down on us and maybe receive this energy receiving the essence energy of blessing and to ourselves and into our day the energy of protection inspiration illumination and the generosity and devotion that is necessary for us to do good work here in the world to make all these energies into Inspire us and open us to the benevolence of this universe and as we draw that energy into her head from her head to her heart or heart to our belly let us take a moment and reach down to the Earth and to give thanks for this day to give thanks for our life give thanks for the Wonder of the dreaming of this beautiful planet that brings Life as we understand it to the face of our Earth may give gratitude to all that has been that has brought us to this moment for all that is and all that will be Amazon normous tanks and are heartless reach down through all the layers of the earth to the very center of the earth to connect to that energy that nourishes all that energy that is before all the abundance on the diversity that we share here on the surface of the Earth that is reach into that deep energy that draws its strength from Darkness come Stillness and silence and as we called energy from above down let us draw this Earth Energy up throwing it all the way up through all the layers of the earth bringing in that which replenishes restores and renew into our own bodies up into our heart and our mind and sending this energy all the way up to the highest power so that Earth and Sky these two great Legendary Lovers can connect connect to each other and connect through us as humans and made us big love these two great ones share awaken the spirit of our own heart and may our heart be open and clear it be strong and may it be. We can bring the love to bear in our lives and for all the spirit help that we have to do this to live in this way in the world to give great thanks thank you so much Goosebumps I appreciate you have finally being in this moment I just can’t wait to have you open up and share your personal story how you evolve is being to get to this level of astounding offering so where do you want to begin then when did you first start start to have most saying I like the word. Genius turn window into school system D Geniuses us and we lose the enchantment with nature lot of us some do you feel like you had a deeper connection to the spirit world to you in a friend imaginary friends or voices her otherworldly beings just Sega start from your earliest enchantment with the Beyond this realm I’m not sure you know people who do Shamanism these days always talk about having a benesch almond since I was a child and I and I think I was just a kid I had a huge imaginary life but I see that the most children that are having a decent childhood and I had a decent childhood you know I mean my my parents weren’t perfect we had what I consider garden-variety dysfunction in our family but that also means there was a lot of love and support I grew up in a beautiful place on the world my own little neighborhood had to park in the center of it and a river wrapping around two sides so you know we could we could do sanctioned play out in nature in the park or we could sneak off to the river where we weren’t supposed to be his kids and you know play in the in the river and you know I we camped as a family I mean I just I grew up in Oregon I mean it’s a gorgeous place on the face of this globe and I got no complaints and so I don’t I don’t know that as a kid I thought I was in a more weird than any other kid in Oregon as well as a Oregon and Washington so I feel like I can relate to the Enchantment of just being in that in that part of the world so then as you grew up and what were some of the first highlights of just discovering and seeking to understand more than what meets the eye and more than what is sort of spoon-fed from the the Western pear Diamond if you have to actually have been allowed to be a kid you know it’s not like today where everyone’s got play dates and your parents are in the right as you’re going to get kidnapped and you know all this other crazy stuff I mean we basically went out in the morning we weren’t school near and wild all day came in for dinner you know I mean I really got to be a kid and I appreciate that so you know this the other Singh though as beautiful as this place was that I grew up it was also an extremely small town was very close-minded town in general my parents are part of a an educated sort of group of Professionals in that town but otherwise it was sits pretty pretty scary place in terms of its politics and I mean that she tried to burn the books in the library when I was a kid in grade school I mean it’s just unbelievable to me anyway and so there was one black family and one Jewish Family and otherwise as wide as it could be and extremely sexist and so honestly in the beginning throughout my whole grade school I saw success academically and dust in the system as my ticket out of town and then I wasn’t going to do anything to mess that up cuz all I wanted was to get out of that town and the repression of the sexus mindset in that town as beautiful as it was you know still by the time I had been in junior high and high school and was pretty high achieving in school I got tired of being told you know you can’t do that because you’re a girl and I was so angry by the time I left and went away to college you know I went as far away as I could go to college from that town is still speak English and I didn’t really like the system because I really saw that as my ticket out and I and I freely admit that and it worked you know I got out and went to college and went to the other side of the United States and and proceeded in my you know how late late teens and early twenties to dive deeper and deeper deeper into the depression that had been growing since I was about 12:11 or 12 and I kept this completely secret I didn’t let anybody know I didn’t speak with my family about it and speak with counselors at school because me and really if you want to stay so where was the getting of shamanism honestly for me it was right there and the fear that underneath all of this capacity to succeed very well in the system I was actually crazy and then tell anyone was my big dark secret and in college just I made various choices probably didn’t actually have a very good adviser and cost us extremely stressed with my class load and my pre-med status and all these things that I was doing at that time and was really driving myself pretty pretty deeply into depression and in many ways now I mean many 40 years later right now I look back at that and I see the the pain that so many of us feel that is unnamed and unspoken and misdiagnosed constantly that is the pain of a a child wanting their initiation into adulthood and knowing there’s no one around who’s even an adult much less capable of opening that threshold and I think for me the fact that the world as it was was breaking my heart everyday was really the root of my depression not that I could not that I would have anywhere near articulating it in that way at that time at that time I fit into probably would talk about it as anybody else who is 18 19 20 in that time and felt stressed about school it’s not the other thing but I didn’t talk about it with anybody I mean that’s kind of the point and thank goodness I didn’t and that this was all happening before this age of pharmaceuticals for depression because my path would have been very different and I would have been diverted frankly from my path I believe and I might still be struggling to find my way out had I been you know off on that pharmaceutical past because I actually personally believe that it is our pain and what breaks our heart that is guiding us towards our purpose whatever that purpose might be and so to be afraid that pain is going to kill you and I’ve hurt yourself from that pain is not the path why you’re here that pain will not kill you other things might but pain will not and trusting that that pain is your deep inner soles message to you to get back in alignment with what you’re really here to do to me is like if my if my own life story could teach us anything in this time that we’ve gone beyond not wanting to be in discomfort now everybody’s creating their own preference song like in my day you listen to the radio right which meant you got to listen to three songs you didn’t like to hear the one song you did and about you know you just dealt with it you know today everyone’s got the wrong person all crafted soundtrack you don’t ever have to hear anything that doesn’t make you feel good and that is teaching us that to be afraid of pain and discomfort and honestly I don’t have this like happy to I was always talking to the bunnies in the fairies and everybody always knew I was so special I was going to be a shaman that is as it should be and children aren’t initiated into adulthood and it is a great pain and suffering it is the root of so much of our young mental On Wellness which is it mental illness it’s actually a a sane response to an insane broken system and I didn’t understand any of it at that time but I but when I look back now I just throw thanks goodness thank all that is around for the timing that I did not tell anyone and I did not get medicated and I was able to figure it out now granted we have to go back to the one piece that is different from people that have serious trauma particularly from their own parents is I didn’t you know I had to parents for all of their dysfunction that love me and I knew it so and that’s important you know when I do not understand that that is the context of my story is the world was breaking my heart but you know my parents didn’t and so I had that juxtaposition that tensions within me but if your parents break your heart and the system breaks your heart and the world around you breaks your heart that’s a really heavy burden and that’s I think what we’re talking about when we talk about people dealing with that level of of trauma not that it can’t still be rise out of it but I just want to be honest about that you know that I don’t I don’t have that picture place within my heart I still have to deal with the world every day but at least I knew that if I really really broke in half with a burden of the world that my parents would be there to pick me up they might not be able to fix anything send been able to fix anything yet right but they would scrape me off the pavement and you know give me a place to have a hot bath and feed me so not everybody has that not everybody has that knowing if that’s a space so anyway so so what happened then is I the first place there’s a couple now in reflection as I reflect as I get older and older my life is a couple other places that I would say Spirit really came into my life and diverted me from really stupid decisions but the first place that I would you know how openly said before is I got accepted to medical school in my early twenties and I was physically unable to say yes thank you and it’s medical school right you got to say yes and accept your position or they’re going to give it to 10 over other candidates and I couldn’t I was literally like my throat would seize up like someone was strangling me on the phone and this happened to into separate phone calls 12 hours apart trying to accept this position to medical school and so I said in a fit of frustration I said since I don’t seem to be able to say yes I would like to defer for a year and then she hung up she said thank you very much and hung up on me so I couldn’t even talk through that at all now after I didn’t go to medical school I never looked back I never even considered that it had been deferred because my package changed at that moment but that is a place where there was you know it’s like the spirit world can’t get through to me yet I’m not I’m not really paying attention in any kind of systematic way this making any sense to anybody in the spirit world is going holy crap we have got to divert her or back on track just grabbed her strangled her yeah tough love from your spirit helpers day it was the first I was very hard-headed very directed child that went from wanting to be a ballerina to wanting to be a surgeon so I mean that says a lot about being you know pretty much type quadruple a four at that time but I was also depressed user-friendly that was really working for me and anyway to make a very long story short so what happened in not going to medical schools and I have a year in limbo I’m not knowing what I was doing and I never had that since childhood you know so it threw me back in place of what was have been really good about my childhood which gave me kind of the buffer that I needed to start looking at what really hadn’t been good about my childhood and that’s when I crossed paths with a woman named Phyllis pay and a began to learn the practices that are the the heart and soul of the clearing practices that I teach as part of the shamanic teachings that I teach now which I feel is is the primary distinction between my work shamanic Lee and other contemporary practitioners is this this long history with the importance for us as contemporary people of taking responsibility for our life no matter what that life story has been and the skills to do that and this is where the sky like the great equalizer skill anybody can do what you need no shamanic skills you need no particular ability to do anything other than the desire to climb out of whatever that story is is that you’ve been cast in and stuck in in your life and begin to clear deep in yourself or you hold onto those beliefs that support that story and change and choose be able to truly choose your own life and so my capacity to come into Shamanism later began with my ability to learn to clear my own relationship with my unresolved dysfunction unresolved addiction my unresolved codependent Behavior you know all these things that come out of our family of origin to sexism I experience you know all of it all the stuff we’re aware of now but the point is I refuse to let that continue to strip my life and what Phyllis gave me was one single skill that I could use for the rest of my life to choose to unwind that in my own head and take take responsibility for it and begin to choose what beliefs do I want to have shaking my life and to let go of these past traumas past whatever and so that was for me but you and this happened to almost 10 years before its Shamanism happened and so by the time I was introduced to shamanic things I had been in 08 years into this clearing process daily the daily daily process the way I learned it as I learned it as personal practice I teach it as a paired practice that that can be personal or Collective but for me that made all the difference in the world because I started to be able to actually get at the underpinnings of my own depression and walk my way out of it and by the time I ever had a soul retrieval is part of my my training later on as a shamanic practitioner the the integration on the issues around that had already been addressed to the clearing process by the ton diesel Parts came back it was kind of like just a missing link for everything to then going to shift into 5th gear and go so I think I would have the second place where I know I would have had a very different version of my life path had I not been introduced us to listen this clearing process which I still teach and I am now evolving into being able to teach it as a as a larger online offering precisely because a couple years ago someone asked me a student asked me to what would you teach if you could only teach one thing and they are expecting some precise shamanic magical you know Magic Bullet and I said clearing if I could only do one thing for the rest of my life to sing that would make the biggest impact on Humanity’s ability to move into the new world would be flaring you sweet and so anyway so for me that was fortuitous I don’t claim any inside or shamanic wisdom in making that happen I basically got coerced into doing it but I mean honestly my massage therapist blackmailed me it said do not get up on the table I will not massage you again until you choose a meditative practice and it was one of five things and I just picked that one so I can get my massage that day but then I had to follow through or else I wouldn’t get my Visage next week so I’m not claiming any wisdom here at all just putting the pieces together but again I think when we don’t give Spirit the means by which to communicate with us directly that is spiritual use other avenues and they I know he people in my life are being used big time because I wasn’t paying attention I was 20 all I cared about was was going to have sex with next you know why I was not paying attention on any higher level other than the fact I didn’t want to be in pain and I didn’t want to repeat the same disaster in my last emotional relationship intimate relationship in the next one and I can pretty much see that was a pattern and it wasn’t getting any better and I just wanted you know better relationships less pain and more sex more great sex and I mean I was 28 but you know what else are you focused on in your twenties I don’t know peace in my head there was an episode where you said no I was in my twenties or if you were talking about someone is like in your twenties you’re interested in having sex frankly and there’s nothing wrong with it so so anyway so let’s see so so that goes on for many years like I said I was doing good flirting practice for a lot of years and that in that time I because of the help of many wonderful teachers that I mean there was a point in time in my life I literally had for teachers that were sort of unidentified teachers in my life I mean that’s how stupid I was and how hard headed and how not getting it I was and that’s how we are when we’re not initiated into adulthood and so this idea that I let you know I got experience with some of my younger students you know 20-something students now who are like well I just I have been clearing for a year why can’t I be a shaman yet it’s like a year all I had for teachers and the practice what they taught me for 8 years before I even began to move into Shamanism and that we just don’t have any respect for the phases of transformation and the depth of Mastery necessary to really show up when you think about it why would people think about that anymore you can go after your first two yoga classes you can go sign up for yoga certification to become a yoga teacher has no respect you know we all you have to do is pay your money and your a Reiki master but no respect for these past Master anymore and this again would be another message for people to really think about your Soul’s purpose which is the Cornerstone of your well-being is some kind of path of Mastery for you it’s not a job title and it’s it’s not something that you’re going to get to retire from it’s about the cultivation of your soul in this life and yeah it takes time to learn skills you’re going to have to show up you’re not going to be able to do it all online right now so let’s see socialism comes into the picture again because I have another horribly painful awful situation happen and I have at that point in time left all I did I did make a conscious break from being the person I had been trained to be so I left my capacity to make good money my kind of white privilege a lot of that stuff behind to the degree anyone ever can leave their white privilege behind but I stepped away from the world I’ve been educated into left everything behind move back to the east coast again to dance again as a modern dancer at 27 so for those of you that know anything about dancing that means I’m already too old to be doing that it wasn’t this again not the smartest thing to do but it did put me on a collision course by choosing the last thing I had remembered really feeling passion doing a really being connected to myself doing the last thing I remembered feeling that way was dancing when I was a child so I sacrificed everything to commit to that again and along the way I’d also figured out that I had to be dancing I would end up being depressed again so there was a certain piece of that in the story as well as a pretty big unwieldy story it really wasn’t like who I met my teacher my shamanic teacher and they said I’ve been waiting for you my whole life I dress her and hear let me start training you I mean I don’t have that story and I actually envy people that do you know my family traveled to Africa and the shaman came out of the village and said I’ve dreamt of you my whole life’s little skinny white boy and you know, and be initiated I’ve never had that I wish you know it was going to make things more clear I did everything the hard way just like trying to figure it all out anyway so I’ve gone back to New York I’m struggling as a modern dancer in New York which mostly means not dancing and working for $9 an hour at something in Manhattan and living this completely blessed life and Manhattan I have again no complaints scary as hell a lot of money but a lot of blessing a really really blessed in so many ways and then my life just kind of had a collision course crash with Shamanism when I had the ones for the sustaining relationship in my life is like my one best friend that was really kind of helping me hold it together in this crazy New York thing dumped me and and in that crisis I ask for help I was working with runes at the time for divination and from that I got a dance job that I wanted and then I lost it like my dream dance job and then I lost it and I crashed into a huge depression darker than it had ever yet been in all the cycling through it since I’ve been 12 so now I’ve been cycling through depression for 20 years and that I had a break with reality in that in that particular depression that lasted sustained for 3 Days 3 nights and in that. Of time my initiatory helping Spirit was was with me in my in my break with ordinary reality I was moving through my days in this ongoing conversation with this spirit and pretty sure this was not sealing the deal on my lifetime fear that I was actually crazy and there’s nothing like a break with reality to say yeah there you go proven it to you you are crazy in a bad way and I’m so that’s what my initiation really really rotated around is what what kind of crazy meaning those are pretty much the things that shamanic initiation revolves around as either death or crazy and I think for me in this particular life I was more afraid of being crazy than being dipped show. Experience resolves itself not in any kind of heroic way I basically made it through that industry experience pretty much with a good enough answer for that Spirits you close enough to not drag me over into an unhelpful crazy that I probably would have been stuck in for a know how long ever probably and let me come back she know she let me go basically and it completely changed my life I didn’t know what had happened don’t have any context for it but I knew that I was fundamentally changed in a way that I didn’t would never just go back it wasn’t I mean I’ve had many transformational experiences but pretty much all of them you can back out up there was no going back from this life was amazing that point just I could really see just the fabric of things coming together was so clear at that time I end sometimes I long for the clarity that I had in the months that followed that experience and in that time not knowing what had happened but I didn’t understand this would probably be the single most important thing that would ever happen to me in my whole life and that I needed to just pay attention cuz I didn’t really know what else to do and now many teachers at that time in New York other than New York itself and very quickly and very quick succession while that industry experience was still sort of having it was a bit like an earthquake where earthquakes have aftershocks I would have in the months that followed I would have aftershocks where I really lose my grip with reality and then kind of come back from a place of Oneness with everything in a really kind of high spiritual place I just suddenly be in it and then be back out of it again and it was so it was it was not a very stable time I would say but but but is very ecstatic very positive and when I was tracking I was really putting One Foot In Front Of Another to get my life back in alignment cuz I really feel that happening and and sign away the property rights and all that stuff is is going to be replaced by this micropayment ecosystems where people can support each other for you no value in the content that they consume and Envy in really well well supported in and I think it’s going to do the asking to do a lot that’s amazing all them you know dozens of jobs disappearing as robots take over and Singularity and all the stuff and at some point in my life I was really concerned about this you know yet where are the millions of drivers truck drivers going to go when we have also if driving cars do you know all the stuff but the answer is blanching all these people will be doing things in blockchain I will be getting paid well for it and it’ll take less time and I mean from the Tim Ferriss 4-Hour Work Week on and everything. Having high developments off technology and be more efficient with our time does not mean that we if it’s not does not need to be scary now there’s a lot of stuff within fast Evolution that is that is concerning to me specially how fast were developing and growing and how our security initiatives are not all the party yet and I think we’re getting there so there’s a lot of concern of course but anyting however I don’t think that we all really grasp or we’re starting to now how how much we really don’t have to work 90 hours a week or whatever the ridiculous things we do you know that the whole point of this is that micro payments and micro contributions from everybody involved will free up more time for us to to be humans to exist to just let me know this is such an interesting new development in the sort of thing that’s had that imprint of a techno dystopia since childhood from all the Sci-Fi and I watch the beach and then you know you imagine this world where humans are made obsolete by robotic technology and Ai and and I’ve been pretty you know demoralized by that those prospects especially now is drone coming to the picture and now I really feel like it as of this moment this kind of is really the undeniable presence in the now of both of those dystopic seems coming coming nauseous it come to life but it coming into existence put them as you’re saying which is actually still Redemptive for Sheet the human soul is that like she was an example something might you might have some thoughts on as a form of empowerment but it’s like that the sort of this myth of the scarcity of worthwhile productive labor that can be done from picking up trash to planting trees to cleaning up toxic waste like through the blockchain micropayments and sort of micro temporary employment contracts that can really enfranchise all the homeless people to get a micro crypto payment without actually showing up and waiting in line to get in the welfare program or get into a you know some sort of job placement program you can just be like you know you show up on their stomachs feel like a Whitney to some kind of cleanup has to happen and people can just mop it and and have day labor crypto payments and there will really never be a gap between meaningful work and and fair pay and there’s plenty of wealth in the crypto world alone to finance stuff like that and even if you know whether it’s through a nonprofit system or through tax system I mean I’m not going to endorse taxes in general but but you kind of know what I’m saying so how do you feel about that you feel like that’s the direction we’re going to go absolutely hundred percent and there are so many projects that are mind-blowing for example the green miners are looking into mining basically with all green energy from turning trash into clean energy so that things like Bitcoin mining don’t have to take resources as we know them now and that there are so many projects in the space for cleaning up the oceans and cleaning up the air and I’m bringing food to the right places and replanting trees and replenishing the soil I mean there if you think of any good initiatives going on in the world for every single one of them there is at least one crypto person who is trying to intercept and connect and there are some barriers you know like the the extreme hippies and I don’t mean that in any negative or positive connotation specifically just outside another word to use like the core standards and the cryptic Crypt of hippies and all these people like hippies like me back in the day when I when I was in Turkish hippie confused and all of this navigating technology I’m really scared of it I never imagined in my life that I would be here talking about technology I like at the same time I see like you said you know how directly this has impacted my life I live a better life I can eat better food because I have my bills taken care of more often because I am connecting projects that feed my soul in that feed my pocket and and it’s just it’s just Technologies not going anywhere so yes hearing drums zooming around in the air concerns me especially there’s no privacy lost about this and I’m sure I am in plenty of videos just public random videos of people have of course all that is concerning to me but at the same time if I can get drones to massively plant trees and water them creating on cleaning water and stainable way and replacing the Salt Lake of course I want that also so it’s a fine balance you knowing yeah there’s just there’s just so many opportunities and I’m very hopeful first person you know Technologies not going anywhere in the craziest disasters are going on in the world are very real and I’m very aware of my privilege and I’m honored for just being able to be a voice and a part of this movement in any way but if you are truly concerned if you’re a person sitting there and you are really really against technology my best advice to you is to get involved you know what I mean so get involved and make sure that our our moral compasses are still true and that our time is being used efficiently because well I think it’s drizzling experiencing abundance is a really healing thing for our communities that happen monkey trains into scar City and fear so I think that having lavish parties and exotic places when they are led by the right Compass when we’re doing no trash Left Behind when we’re also feeding the end in helping those communities those are beautiful experiences I think also is very easy to fall into the you know greedy egotistical side of things and so we can be people on the sidelines criticizing this movement or we can just Dive Dive Right In and whichever way feels comfortable to you and try to help from within you know absolutely yeah amazing so do you want to talk can you talk a bit about you know obviously not to be tokenizing but I was really thrilled to know that Amanda B Johnson is the spokes person for Dash and they have a sort of a in the dash consensus system they’re they’re holding their whole their whole technological platform on the basis of it there’s money allocated in there sitting there a crypto economic ecosystems to support people in in roles as delegates and Advocates and Educators and I’m I’m wondering if you have some thoughts on connecting with or have you connected with women in crypto and just having more solidarity and more initiatives that are women lead and women find it and having the the voice and the the wisdom of Sisterhood in the crypto space which is is seriously it’s I don’t know I wouldn’t say this that I understand to be hyper sexist or it’s just a typically gender imbalance in technology for various reasons of course and but this is one of the most inviting and open-minded for thinking space is so I’m just curious if you have thoughts understand that aspect I do and I just want to throw in really quickly that Dash is doing some incredible incredible things to use this new currency in the everyday lives of people and changing a lot I mean I spoke with Danny the other day from the Crypt of showing radio station and just some of the projects he shared with me that they’re doing going to orphanage orphanage is camping outside open and to defend that old homes and rebuilding after after earthquakes all of these weren’t the weather doing in Mexico and helping people from the US and for Mexico to send each other Dash instead of Fiat you know making it super useful super accessible for them and actually turning crypto into into resources are they need whether it’s a new fan for their ceiling or food or whatever and so they are doing a lot of work right on the ground and putting you know when ATMs in crypto ATM there just it is amazing to see this dystopian Society for good and bad is already here as completely I mean crypto is already being used in so many daily activities all the time so much more that we know and I know that documentaries are being created and they will be available to all of us soon and every time more but there is so much more happening than we even inside are aware of you know every time I talk with anybody is it blows my mind all the projects are going on in and that this is the Hood part of it is another one and there are all these telegram groups going around some of them are called crypto women badass women in blockchain you know he’s different name there’s this group on Facebook called crypto queens and I have found some amazing amazing humans are working with the UN and women investing in women and funding each other’s projects and the Miami Conference the North America Miami Conference Bitcoin conference I had this one person run up to me this woman and she said hi sister if you’re a woman here I pretty much want to connect with you and she added me to his telegram group and I stole that from her in the best possible way so every time I’m at any blockchain event I run up to the women and I said Hey sister if you’re a woman in the space I want to connect with you and it’s just so beautiful and so maybe 5 or 10 different groups that are all women in blockchain and art projects in blockchain it is it is really unbelievable I’m actually really excited for the South by Southwest there is a bunch of the crypto Queens are coming down we’ve been talking about doing a documentary about women in crypto and I just hope that I get to interview them 10 minutes with each van and super supportive so it’s been quite interesting and of course there is still competition with in here and there but for the most part I find that women are really supportive of each other I also have been working with swarm City and the storm funds quite a bit I meant Joel from Joel Dietz from swarm and we talked about a bunch our projects and all the stuff happening and you express a lot of interest in supporting both blockchain art projects and women equality so I know swarm is now sitting around the survey to try to make sure that there are as many women as men users and their platform that’s really exciting and also so many surveys about how they want the tokens to be used and so on are hungry to include the community that’s what’s Tim Meadows all about right and that’s what these events are all about so I think I think we’re doing pretty good so far and I see how much more collaboration is going to is going to start happening you know just from from these telegram groups and how excited everybody is and and also how cool is that that we have telegram instead all our messages so that the government can hover information are private conversations it’s just it’s amazing we weave I feel sad about the fact that Facebook and all these social media platform orny or Cuban connection you know I honestly have so many thoughts where I say I don’t care if Facebook knows all my information or if they own all my media I just want to be able to share photos of my friends in Argentina and this is the easiest form so how sad is it that we were okay with all of our privacy and information being exploited and people making money off of us just because we’re so starved for human connection so I’m really excited to be able to do the same things we’ve been doing and use the good parts of Technology like social media in a way that it also filled up our pockets and our Spirits you know that is music to my ears thank you so much I’m so glad that I I mean I just just the fact that your video came up right after cryptos news and we’re in this moment have his conversation this is all such beautiful music to my ears and yeah it’s been I mean in my field in the world of Tantra sacred sexuality sexual healing in just the I think the most important thing in my studies in my experience for healing a planet and really saving the Earth is really being instrumental and being conducive to two women Sisterhood and a healthy positive empowering way and actually creating more financial Independence so that women as mothers can have more freedom and power and actual means to make more independent decisions with their bodies with their with their you know how they how much even breastfeeding I mean the most people don’t know that it’s pretty much understood that about 5 years is a typical pre-industrial young length of time to be breastfeeding infants on demand and imagine the kind of infrastructure changes that have to happen for that to be possible in the modern world but if anything’s going to make it happen it’s going to be the fruit of the work that people like you were doing and that’s as you know might just sort of Public Service Announcement about you know a sort of futuristic crypto feminism you know that I said that I want to contribute to I want to see happen is this more and more working together and in collaboration So yeah thank you for helping with that and Centric energy and learning some teachings of something that it’s pretty recent to me maybe two years and there’s so much to learn and I found so much healing and in all of these intersections of psychedelics meditation 10 trick work and crypto and it’s it’s so bizarre and no way to talk about technology and evolution and money in the same line that we talked about psychedelics and in self-healing love and all of this to no life force of energy but it is all the same thing it’s it’s just growing us a more compassionate and accepting loving human race you know that’s what it’s all about and at the same time that I’m really excited about all of these blockchain as a vehicle for 4 change I am really concerned about Wi-Fi and radiation and you know of course all of these a chemtrail crazy stuff that we put ourselves through so I’m putting out the intention into calling for more people to get involved in to figure it out other ways to connect the other internet in a way that it’s not so destructive for us and so there’s not some natural solutions and then there’s simple things we can do like turning off wi-fi at night when you go to sleep and self-education on this on this topic but I would love to hear more like I said Solutions and privacy are are something that we are now noticing that we need to work on more at the same time that we develop all these amazing systems right we need to wear we’re kind of like it’s floating and all this magical ways and now we need to start creating the containers that will keep us a lines into our missions as well yeah absolutely absolutely awesome well yeah I’m getting about 2 or if you’ll just totally mind blown and totally satiated by learning all this stuff all this great stuff that you’re doing do you feel free now to take some time to promote your efforts and talk about we have coming up in the future will people can be looking out for and and yeah we’ll we’ll call it a good introduction to hopefully we can also keep in touch on going up next and that is the exist festival.com that it’s a beautiful project where we are just connecting more and more people doing similar events and hoping that we can continue to collaborate so if anybody’s interested in anything that we’re doing please reach out there’s room for you to be fully creative in your own way and like I said it’s not about competition the abundance is there and in so many ways so that is South by Southwest Austin and then we have token Fest in San Francisco I will be there as well and then we have an art party in the bay somewhere so all this information will be on social media that is at my new brakes on Twitter or breaks on Instagram and I wanted to mention. So I most recently connected with gel polish and he’s doing art for addicts and he has a lot of projects going on in that world so I’m really excited to get more involved in healing the process of healing ourselves through ART and handling addiction because I believe technology is also an addiction right so being able to create those containers again and also few initiatives for the cleaning up the oceans and ocean token and just so many good projects coming up so anyway that I can that I can help or help you connect with those who will get you to where you want to be the green miners we clean energy any of that please reach out to me I would love to help out cool thank you again so much now Newburgh city has been such a pleasure and yet again thank you for just allowing me to be impulsive and send a message out to you and get you on the show and to know also that your ear integrating some the tantric wisdom in and works into your life it’s so exciting and I agree this is all just one big Kundalini blockchain Bliss Bellini black seamless hashtag that will be in touch in the future and thank you again so much sounds good thank you so much have a beautiful night. Trent repent. Calm and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition assassini and improving the podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple after bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email said I turned your punk. Com Thomas gay
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Android | Email | Google Podcasts | Stitcher | TuneIn | Spotify |
In this episode I’m am joined by Kristen Boyer. She caught my attention in a you tube video of a panel discussion on eros and entheogens. She described a recent chapter of her life as a profesional shamanatrix. I had dreamt of such an archetype several years ago as I began to be intiated into the mysteries of sexual healing with psychedelic goddess worship
She has graciously blessed the podcast by sharing a bit from her memoires and engaging in a visioneering session with me on a more holistic and empowered future for dommes and their clients.
I have always been a natural counselor and teacher by design, and have been interested in motivating and supporting others in achieving their highest levels of happiness, wholeness and success. Shortly after earning my MA in Creative Arts Therapy at Pratt Institute in New York, I fell ill with chronic illness followed by abandonment of my spouse (which were undoubtedly connected to my health problems and had to be addressed on a physical, emotional and spiritual level). I felt my life crumble before me. In desperation to stay in New York City, I took up a job as a professional dominatrix as an attempt to reclaim my power and supplement the high costs of city living. I applied my psychotherapy training and facilitated a glorified version of drama therapy that allowed my clients an outlet for their shadow sides to be vulnerable, acknowledged and accepted without judgment. I found that deeply wounded clients were magnetically drawn to my empathic intuitive ‘girl next door’ persona. I found I was naturally gifted at holding space for some of the darkest, and most concealed wounds to be seen and healed. My dungeon time was not long-lived yet these experiences have inspired me to transmute and integrate some of the darker, shadow sides of my clients while balancing spiritual and psychological health.
Shamanism and soul retrieval work began to magnetically draw me in and I quickly realized that this was my life’s work. I was trained in many shamanic healing modalities, the most powerful of these techniques being soul retrieval. Learning how to facilitate soul retrieval was the missing piece of my healing practice…click here to read more
Please connect with Kristen and access her services by visiting her website:
AI Generated Transcription:
(Want to help with corrections? Please contact me to learn about rewards for your efforts!)
Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear love his welcome to Township on podcast episode number 56 I’m here with Kristin Boyer and she is a shamanic healer and a very interesting lie to me also has a history of doing work as a Dominatrix and when you put the two together you have a shamanatrix and I think that’s a real endearing term I actually envisioned the need for that myself a few years ago and I thought that was a beautiful archetype in you’re actually the first person who I’ve discovered that has use that title so I’m very interested if you if you like to Chris and tell us a bit about your background and then we can talk about how you Blended those two modalities and I’m so excited to be on your show they said thank you for having me so to explain a little bit about how I got into this work there’s a little bit of a backstory that I find is became a very strong story my life that helps me to get to where I am doing this demonic Soul retrieval and it’s Soul empowerment work that I do now that I grew up with a very tight lace fundamentalist Christian family in in the suburbs of Pennsylvania and I found that there was just this very controlling very sexually submissive as Ben also repressive energy that was in my household and so as I was growing up I felt like I wanted to rebell against. But I also felt a little bit controlled by those forces so there’s always this theme of submissiveness control feeling disempowered in that way that I grew up and when I was 24 years old I got married to this man who I thought was the man of my dreams right he was as wonderful man from Scotland I had met when I was 16 years old on the family vacation and we became pen pals we stayed in touch and it was during the time that I was in graduate school studying creative arts therapy at Pratt Institute in New York City that I reconnected with this man and at that time he came to visit me we fell so deeply in love all over again just like when we were 16 17 years old and we decided to be crazy young kids and start a path towards getting married and getting a green card for my my partner so we got married and soon after we were hitched he just completely changed and I began to see his true colors and I felt truly that I had been tricked by a sociopath he quickly went through my lifesaving which wasn’t too much of the time but was all that I had to my name and as soon as all of our rent money was gone he got on a plane to Scotland without me knowing so I came back from work I had been working as a nanny working with children who had deep emotional disturbance we’re on a lot of medications because of course then the nanny agency I work for I had this extensive training in Psychotherapy psychology create our therapies and they put me with these very challenging children so I came back from work and I found that he and all of his belongings had completely vanished and I went to the store with trying to figure out how to stay in New York trying to figure out what had happened and I was able to become a little bit of a sleuth and you connect via Facebook and interwebs to find out where he was and what had happened and his his best friend reached out to me and said I’m really sorry and I offer my condolences I didn’t realize things weren’t working out but Tommy’s on the plane to Scotland right now and you know I’m really sorry about that and so at that moment I realized that he was completely gone and I was in this really tight situation so at that time I was going through the shedding of ight I thought this was going to be my life getting married having a family you know the white picket fence and all that stuff that I don’t necessarily believe and I’m really happy that Bishop’s in my life happened so that I could let go of that old dream to make space for this new one and what ended up happening was was working as this nanny with these is really highly stressful cases and some of the nannies that I had play dates with pulled me aside and they said Kristen you are a hot mess and you can’t be with these kids right now you’re about to crack and I said absolutely I was excusing myself to cry in the bathroom when there are other nannies around that gets rid of look after the kids for me and I came back and said this is this is not a good situation for me to be and I’m not quite sure what to do cuz I want to stay in New York the issue was that my parents were very rigid and they didn’t agree with me marrying outside of my Christian religion and I knew that if I went back home that they would just crush the rest of my soul and I realize that I have had this was what I Now understand is it was almost like I was losing parts of myself losing parts of my soul as I know understand it to the lens of the work I do but at that time I thought you know my soul has been compromised I feel like I’ve lost parts of myself in this marriage and the destruction of this marriage and even with the work I was doing with these kids I was just it felt like parts of me were just checking out or leaving my body because the situation I was in was just a sera and I thought if I went back to my parents house in Pennsylvania that it was just going to ravage and rape the rest of my soul so I knew that that was not the solution and I was trying to find a way to stay in New York and that’s when these nannies that I had these pleaded with pulled me aside and said Kristen you’re falling apart you need to think about doing something else and hey you know I don’t want to make you feel weird I don’t want to embarrass you or anything but maybe you should think about becoming a professional Dominatrix and at that point I just need to know I picture it in my mind myself in this black leather outfit with a whip and it’s like a dominatrix I think that’s what I think that’s what that is before I could even respond to the other nanny said you know what I had a friend who did that and she went through a really hard breakup and she processed her feelings through the work she made a lot of money doing it I think you should give it a shot and I looked out of myself and I will only be 25 and look this good with lines and so I thought you know what have I got to lose already lost everything what else have I got to lose and so I thought it wouldn’t hurt to get in touch with someone who had already done that work and one of the nannies put me on the phone with one of their friends she wouldn’t give me her real name and she was very secretive about it she said you know this work is not for the faint of heart but if you’re good and if you can really connect with these people then you can really hit the jackpot and so I went into this work not being very educated about it so I decided to read some books on how to do BDSM in a very safe way what people are looking for Understanding Psychology behind because I was always very excited about the psychology and I had worked with a lot of drug addicts I’d work with a lot of sex addicts at Bellevue Hospital and the chemical dependency and mental health clinic for one of my internship so it already had this background with working with really intense stories and also working with people who have had sexual addiction so I thought you know I think I’m pretty much grounded and what I need to know to be able to handle most situations and I went to the dungeon I found the dungeon that one that has been highly recommended I went in there and they said you know I gave them my resume and they said that it dropped it on the floor and said just pick a name when do you want to start and it rolled off of my lips Karma my name is Miss just Karma so when I got into the dungeon I realized that people were coming in with these really interesting stories and it took me a few sessions to realize that a lot of the stories that my clients were bringing to me were stories of this empowerment that had actually happened to them so for example I had this one individual who is this really tall very good looking older man may be in his early 50s salt and pepper hair and he had a very deep voice but then he would go into this character he always wanted to play the same scenario out where I would be his babysitter and I would be his babysitter who would force him to touch himself and I would switch narrate this whole scene where I wouldn’t be directly of using him but I would be creating these situations that were very very sexy were very erotic but we’re also triggering something and I know this this because he had this really big strong voice book he would talk about it you would talk like as a little boy years old there was something that just wasn’t bridging together as far as young as a little baby with the way that we were doing this role play and it was interesting because I have a password I was sexually abused by a neighbor by babysitter so it was almost like whenever he saw me he would pick me because he knew and it was interesting because most of the other jobs were really intimidated by this particular situation I felt very uncomfortable around taking on clients who had these really interesting story than maybe it’s something that I attractive because I needed to play out my own stories but I was Finding with a lot of the client’s house working with they had very similar stories that they wanted to play out every single time another example is there was this older gentleman who wanted us which scenario and a switch scenario is where one person plays the dominant one and then they also play the submissive why then you either changed the role within the story or you have different stories that you play out and there were certain to be able to ship those roles and there was one particular gentleman who always has the same idea of what he wanted to do first you wanted to do a role-play where I was an indentured servant and my husband had passed away and I had to take on his hours of Labor before I would be able to be set free and that was one of the roles in the second one he wanted to play which was I was either mrs. Schmidt or Mrs Smith’s mother and he went on to say that he had these foster parents and his foster mother in the spa your mother’s mother was were the ones that he was primarily being raised by and that he described it so that our characters they were very very harsh very hard and punishing on him especially his foster mother’s mother who had this energy of being very sexual would be naked all the time great provocative it was for the back to Lori and then would punish him for almost nothing and so I was I was chose to embody that character because you could feel the essence of this person exists and it’s almost like just tapping into this frequency of becoming that character and I’ve experienced that when I’ve done family constellations there is therapies where you can take a role for someone else to play a family member and it’s like you don’t have to know much of the backs or you just need to tap into the vibration of that character is and then you express that in a way that you are playing out an old roll or giving a person a opportunity to break that role and so it was Finding was these clients as commercial dungeon we’re coming in with these stories that were truly truly in a sense disempowering and I found it a lot of them are trying to find ways to make this consensual either by playing it out but this time it’s okay because permission decided okay I’m playing with an adult who I find attractive who knows the rules and I can communicate with and I was finding these scenarios where the people didn’t actually know how to change the stories some of them tried and some of them wanted to switch the roles and change the dialogue but most of the time my clients would come in with the same script literally our had people who were coming in with a script and if I went one line two lines off of that script they would break down and we have to start over again from the top, and of course I’ve done all this work and you know the creative arts therapy is Rob doing movement therapy art therapy talk therapy and in this sense to me this was imma therapy and we were playing out stories and I found it not only were my clients stuck in this Loop of an old traveler an old story that they were playing and still I was too I was looking at my store in my lens of feeling unwanted feeling like I had been abandoned feeling like I couldn’t be myself from my family and I was revolted against all of those stories and I was creating a Persona it through mistress Karma to reshape how I felt by feeling powerful feeling like I was in control feeling like I was wanted and desired and what was interesting was when I tapped into those vibrations are I played out those rolls I felt like a superhero but I would still go home at the end of the night and I was by myself cry myself to sleep because my life was falling apart at the seams and all of the other areas but when I could play and tap into a character that was truly empowered I felt empowered but I character wasn’t able to permeate my entire life and I found that I was still stock and instead I was so they’re dividing into the sub character that was empowering me and giving me strength and then this other more honest South seeing where I was at and feeling hopeless and feeling like my heart was blocked and that this play was helping me to put his dance around where I was hurt and make connections with people in a fun way but I was still protecting something and not being truly authentic because I was afraid of being hurt so long story short I’m working in the dungeon and this is around 2012 and there were a lot of planetary shifts if you say I’m not really too sure what the blame it on the all the sudden my intuition became sharper than it ever has been before and I guess in retrospect of always have had this additional sense to send spirits and all the sudden I was seeing ghosts in the dungeon literally full-body apparitions and I saw these fragments of people who have been coming into the number being punished or hurt and I began to see this fragmentation of these you know now I understand is so parts that there was some trauma happening and people are separating the parts of their souls and I was seeing if I was having the lights turned on and off on me is it a comical way during sessions that we worked into the session but realizes this is a ghost and they were jiggling the door knobs and you know trying to get my attention in every which way and at that point I just almost as if I could hear them whispering to me get out of here go leave you it’s not safe as if the ghosts were telling me that it’s not safe and I wasn’t sure if it was because of them or if it was because there were some illegal operations going on in this particular dungeon and there was a lot of close calls with the cops and all sorts of things unitedness tell me when I get wrapped up in that energy but at that point I just decided okay I don’t know why but I think it’s time to go and so I left the dungeon and during that time I had been putting myself through school as a holistic nutritionist and housecoat and so at that point I had already taken on some new clients and was working in the health and coaching fields and I was also taking a bunch of classes at this holistic Learning Center in New York City where I was doing for the work-study program so I was able to assist as an assistant with classes so I could take them for free and at that time all of my clients were talking about Shamanism shamanism really know that much about Shamanism it just sounded like something I was told to stay away from as a kid because no demon is armor you know who it is of her all these things that my parents would have shamed and the church shamed is there different these are not okay and there was something that was attractive about this word and all my clients kept telling me about something called Soul retrieval and I I didn’t know what that was but it sounded really powerful and it kept showing up everywhere for someone who’s never heard about Shamanism someone who’s never heard about store to will it was literally everywhere I looked I would walk into the place where I was interning and they had a booger and it was literally jump off at the Shelf at me every time I walked into the room is all I could see and I knew that there was something to it and so at that point I began to read Sandra ingerman book on Soul retrieval mending the fragmented self and she’s a psycho therapist you have the same training as me looking at the soul as having these different parts of ourselves that if we become traumatize we go through a situation that is truly not ideal it could be a really hard partnership we’re fighting with that partner a lot it could be having some kind of sexual or physical abuse from her child in a car accident where the situation is really hard on us on our souls in that part of our soul actually say I don’t want to be here anymore and we’ll innocence check out or disassociate if we’re looking through the lens of psychology and I was looking at this and say oh I disassociate here and here and here looking for my childhood looking to different parts of my life looking through this horrific experience I have with my marriage and realizing that part of my soul my soul laugh and realizing that I had so much so lost and I needed to learn more and it was at that time that I saw that there was a training for soul retrieval and it was like I haven’t had it yet I knew I have I have to go and you know me while I’m taking these classes on Shamanism and I’m connecting through the beat of the drums going into the state of brain waves state to through meet with my power animal is my spirit guide something I had never thought about doing before so that went to this class and began to learn it and all of my Spirit guides came to me and finally you’re here to quit your job this is your life to me like I was the teacher asking me and I you know they had more training than I did in many cases and here they were coming to me for the answers night I just like I knew that it was it was really wacky experience and what ended up happening was I saw the training for soul retrieval and it was you know about $3,000 to get the tickets to New Mexico and to pay for the program in the housing and my flight cost and I said well I need $3,000 and within 3 days I had $3,000 because I had been introduced to another client I was still doing the dominatrix work I was doing independently now and I have one client just couldn’t get enough of me for that particular week and within that week I had made my rent for the next month and I had made 3000 extra dollars and it was for the training I knew it I needed a few days before and here it was so easy so I ended up going to I had to do all this preliminary training this woman so the turn me away initially and then she came back because I’m so sorry my Spirit guides told me I have to train you and I need to put my judgments of whether you’re ready or not a side because you are supposed to do this training and so long story short I end I’ve been completely supported by the universe to do this sort Uber work and what I found with that was not only was it so empowering it got me my power back from a many incidences in my past I had alluded to having some sexual abuse with a neighbor that repeated itself as a father and as I was in the doll that got raped by one of my neighbors and going back to the original wound getting my power back from how when I was five to seven I wasn’t able to stand up for myself and getting my power my innocence my Purity back and then being able to get my power back as an adult from what it happened to me and going back to my marriage and going back to the church and taking some power back that I had given away because you know the Church of shavings my body or shavings me as a woman being in my power and I ended up getting all this power back from different parts in my life and I also was getting this message to write my story so I began to write about being a Dominatrix and writing all of these different scenarios and role play partaking in writing about my past and just creating a story this Memoir of my life and realizing that the ending was unfolding as I was writing as I began to learn about Shamanism Soul retrieval it occurred to me that I could shift out of this old pattern of this empowerment not by playing or talking or painting my way to my power in fact all of those tools that I learned are so helpful for cultivating awareness of what is missing or how it last for all of a sudden I had this additional tool about how to get your power back so we look at indigenous societies and we look at cultures all around the world I was trained primarily at least initially in a practice called core Shamanism where we look at what are the core beliefs what are the core practices there consistent cross-culturally that are all pretty much and that’s an bolts the same even if every culture does it slightly differently and what I found was all these cultures had a practice cold sore tooth what it was believed that moment to travel within a few days and if you miss that Feud a range in this case we do it many years later and sometimes for our ancestors who are not able to do the work for themselves we can go back to that space of the original wounding of the original disempowerment and we can actually get that power back you go into this non-ordinary state where it’s almost like it’s we’re on our way to shopping list under three planes there’s the lower World Topper World the middle world in the middle world is where there’s us and time does not exist we also see that ghost and fragmented Soul Parts get stuck here so someone is how to travel part of their soul leaves that part of their soul become stuck so you can access this particular route through the shamanic lens and you can gather up that person’s energy and its purest form the part that left because of the trauma and then physically bring that back and blow that into the person either in person or long-distance it works just the same and that person can been in body that part of themselves that they lost and I was finding that looking at my own life and looking at the clients that I had been working with and seeing these stories of this empowerment that’s what we were trying to get at we were dancing around what part of your power is lost what part of your Purity what part of your confidence what part of yourself love it depending on what happened you can access that particular emotion in its fullest vibrant healthy form and bring it back and I found that what I was doing like many of my other clients were trying to fill this void where they felt like part of the show was missing and they were trying to figure out a way to make it okay a way to make a consensual or a way to create the space for them to become more aware of what was missing and something else I found it very interesting that was happening in the dungeon was that I was connecting with people beforehand we go in and meet them and agree to whatever scenario you would be playing out what kind of role play scenarios that was what I specialize that I was specializing in role-play so I got a lot of Storytelling through the work that I was doing and my clients would have the story in a very specific role play and we would agree on it when it says Shake on it and then I would say you know what kind of outfit you want me to wear what kind of personality do want me to come in or just come into the room just embodying that character that they wanted me to work with and when I was Finding was these people were seems really great okay wonderful we have a wonderful agreement here and we’re consenting to this particular store line I would come back in and it was almost as if the person that I talked to was no longer in their body their eyes would change their eyes would sometimes go black or dark and it was almost like they were no longer in their bodies and especially during episodes where they wanted to be severely beaten or severely punished or become very submissive to a degree that felt like there was another story playing out that was actually quite traumatizing I would see that their eyes would change their was almost like there was something in them that was feeding off being hurt or feeding off the emotion of being punished or spit on or disempowered in some way and it took me many years to actually put together the pieces and realized that in a lot of cases where people have lost their power from an actual trauma when their soul leaves the other energies can come in so we can look at those as psychic attachments demons you can look at that as just inviting sadness or anger or jealousy whatever label you want to put on it it’s sort of a spectrum of what cancer to come into that space But I found that there was something in them that was no longer connected to that playful part I was talking to that I was making a deal with and that there was something that was lower vibrational that was entering into the body or maybe just shifting over because they were triggering this part of this empowerment that was just feeding off of the cycle of being hurt or replaying the abusive situation and so I remember feeling very uncomfortable very comfortable making an agreement with someone coming in and stealing I don’t feel safe anymore this is not the person I agreed with and this person now feels very scary and make sure that in some of these situations I was in an empowered roll truly and not just playing one so that I could make sure that I could keep my safety because in some cases it was almost like a situation so I began to realize that as I continue to do the shamanic work that these energies can come in and that some of these people were so the acting out of this other lower vibration place and not necessarily wanting to go and heal the story but wanting to perpetuate and see something that was still wanting to replay the story if that makes sense wow do you feel like you have me a more sure about that the journey or can I give some some thoughts and on what we’ve come share so far. So I’d be happy to hear your Reflections and answer anything in more detail that use it getting chills because I really I really wanted to hear these words spoken in another voice cuz I’ve had these experiences really on multiple sides of a lot of what you’ve talked about I’m I’m a Survivor it took me years to discover sexual healing through Tantra and soul retrieval through psychedelic Shamanism and ceremony and and I have been leaving those paths together and having a lot of the same Revelations and also taking a more clinical psychotherapeutic approach as well to be able to translate these esoteric principles and phenomena into language that can be medically standardized in a way so that we can treat it in a way where would the work you’re doing is truly a knowledge so this is like my big passion is to hear these words spoken the way that you’re saying I’m with that Authority in that and the credentials to get this to progress cuz we need to be able to offer Hands On Healing we need to be able to offer these very deeply involved like you say the role-playing and you’re not going to get that in most of the boundaries that are set up in you know the psychotherapeutic in psychiatric Industries really so thank you just so much being on this Edge synthesis and a few things that I want to explore a little bitter or zoom into will be so I when you sit when you’re talking about the the changeover that you can see in the eyes shifting when you get into these these states with the client I’ve kind of use the language that it seems like a discovery is that evil will fill a vacuum of love and that love is the disinfectant from the parasitic attachments or for the parasitic attachments to get kind of scraped off like Barnacles off of a I’d like use the metaphor fewer if you go down to any doctor you know when you see boats moored at the slips you’ll see people that are in you know scuba gear getting paid to scrape off the Barnacles and the seaweed and all the things that attach to it that would slow it down in the water and that’s the routine maintenance thing like this soul is the same way it seems where you have to do if you don’t have a self-care practice or you know shamanatrix to call you’re going to have those things growing because it’s an ecosystem in the astral plane so do you want to talk about maybe what time since you have some of the Clairvoyant abilities what are you if you’ve been able to you know see and maybe describe a little bit about what these entities or these organisms use
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Android | Email | Google Podcasts | Stitcher | TuneIn | Spotify |
TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains discussion of sexual abuse and healing.
This is a split release with Tom Denney of Esoteric Origins podcast. Tom’s art reflects a clear lens into astral ecology. We discuss how his art is helping to depict the unseen world so we can better understand the mechanics of shamanic healing. We discuss my shamanic initiation, soul retrieval, and practice of psychedelic goddess worship.
Esoteric Origins Podcast
Tom Denney’s Art
AI Generated Transcription:
(Want to help with corrections? Please contact me to learn about rewards for your efforts!)
Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear Beloved School, Township Punk podcast episode number 27 this is a split release podcast with Tom Denney of esoteric Origins podcast and we talked all about astral ecology hope you enjoyed Namaste alright well this is esoteric Origins and I am Tom Denny and I am accompanied by my wonderful gas today then Axiom then welcome to my podcast thank you very much and I’m to both now there’s a very specific reason why you wanted to come over today and talk to me because you have a very big and important story to tell but let me just my perspective on you as being when I first moved out to LA as we were just discussing it’s been about a decade now I’m about to mm and I met here and we were just figuring out that like in fact it was the Myspace days and it must have been within the first week of me moving here because I had to go to my roommate and use his computer to log on the Myspace and that’s when you messaged me and invited me out to the Troubadour and that was the first time I’ve been to the Troubadour and and got introduced to the LA grindcore Punk scene and from there you are also doing punk rock gardening in Long Beach and you also invited me down there and it was all totally new to me at that time the LA Punk experience is a lot different than Chicago I think it is deeper and more intrinsic and out here on the West Coast I find the punks are a lot more conscientious about recycling planting trees and especially right conscious music and I felt like at the time you were at the Forefront of that because you are actually leading a youth organization in Long Beach that was focused on Recycling and on planting organic foods in on teaching the kids how to garden and I thought that was really awesome so initially even before then that was your in that band they were Native Americans in the songs were about Native rights in such a resistant culture but before that you have gained a level of infamy with Nexium what what’s the history of Axiom because I hadn’t heard from other people that you know it’s weird artistic ramblings of pictures of you all distorted in black and white with with dreads and patches holding dreads where all that came from 14-15 year was that yeah put out a few albums did a bit of touring and headed to a kind of ill fated tragic break up over it’s a long story I’ll spare the details but just some samba Trail happen that was only unforgivable or unexcusable and we had to we had to sweat right and we recorded a full-length album we had to sweet had this put up around that time so we had to read it to we had to let her vocalist go but we recorded it a whole album worth of instruments and it’s finally coming out now so there’s like a fifteen-year-old varied album that we finally got some vocals on it’s about to be released now it seems easier than back then to find this because it’s on YouTube and it’s actually really great crossed music so what was your mindset back then when you were recording and running around and how did you make the journey from that kid to where you are now it was cool cuz a lot of us were heavily involved in local Progressive activist causes and movements and stuff so we’re trying to use it as a tool to raise Consciousness and get punks out the protest involved in DIY projects and stuff so babies in your life so I feel like we were we were running that energy of extreme Utopia and idealism and patching and fire for change and you know as you kind of throw yourself against the system and usually get chewed up and spit out you know after a while and it’s easy for people to burn out and get real nihilistic and just get really over drug downloader you know drinking you know constantly just to numb the pain cuz once you get disillusioned it’s kind of like in The Matrix you know you sometimes you want to go back to ignorance but you can’t hear you sort of twist on so now I feel like I’ve kind of found a more spiritual path of resistance and I feel like there’s more leverage on on the invisible dimensions of reality than there are in the visible Dimensions that are highly controlled by you know different forms of authoritarian systems in agencies and whatnot so I kind of felt after a number of years of fighting on the surface of reality and having a beer a futile because of a mechanical advantage of force on the physical plane that that that the the owners you know the story of the power elite and all of their all of their henchmen you know all of that Empire all the structures of Empire I really impermeable you know toe-to-toe but more malleable astral dimensions of reality there’s a lot more and bigger and more powerful spiritual allies that letter I think starting to come to this planet more and more to help dislodge the disinfection demonic infection that is represented in building empires of male ego that the physical dimension of the people who are in charge of that Empire that you’re talking about the system that it’s in place they’re actually doing rituals themselves and even on the most simplistic like the local law enforcement who are Freemasons where the locals there in the base doing rituals and stumbling entities and looking into the ancient books summoning demons essentially they look up to Solomon and Solomon was renowned for being a necromancer in in in a demon Summoner and that was how the Temple of Israel was supposedly built by enslaved entities on this other leveling and wouldn’t you say that that is the symbol of the pyramid at the eye in the pyramid that there using on everything I personally am try to think like an anthropologist about about all the stuff in the sensitive of them there’s try to keeping an open-ended perspective on things and in so I’m just kind of dancing around committing to be on the same as a fact I try to speak in more inquisitive terms about about these more esoteric subjects you know someone asked me do I what do I think about or do I believe in this or that specific sort of conclusion about about symbols and stuff I’m going to say that as far as I’m concerned if you’re not psychedelic goddess worship and then there’s everything else that isn’t that is mostly Empire because shamanic cultures that honor the Earth and that use Sacramento to be connected to that the consciousness of the planet the feminine life-giving Consciousness the planet whether they ingesting the sacraments or their entering Altered States by some other means they’re essentially protecting and safeguarding their cultures and their there they’re their minds and there he goes from that looming threat of sort of hyper-masculine greedy territorial violent aggressive manipulative Empire Building impulse and so whatever it is if it’s not second of a goddess worship I don’t want anything to do with it that’s interesting as to why you you gravitate towards my art my art that first approached me and in fact one of the pieces that you were talking about was and I didn’t really happen to like that term psychedelic got us to all I knew was that I wanted to draw a very beautiful women surrounded by like centipedes and and fighting off what look like mosquito larvae and stuff like that new is all very I’m not sure where it came from other than to say my own psychedelic like I’ve maybe John deep psychedelics maybe a dozen to 20 times ever but I can’t ever say that like a face-to-face with any of these entities that I’m drawing and I’m not really sure where they’re coming from but you seem to see something totally deeper and I want you to tell me what what it is that you see when we’re talking about this story of your artwork and I feel like what you are transmitting troops from your third eye perspective in natural ability to be an antenna for this some sort of multidimensional perspective on what’s actually happening what was totally invisible to most non artist in non psychedelic explorers are Psychonauts the second is the Psychonauts who maybe don’t have the artistic ability to convey that through drying and then it’s the artist who are the Visionary artists whether whether they’re consuming sacraments or not with the ability to download and and sort of Sharon demonstrate what what the true what I mean I want to use the word Astro ecology and if we if we know as much about Astro Astro ecology as we do about the first lead you know the logical by lighter biological to call on this playing notes of the reality of the Earth then we’re going to make wiser decisions about that you’re helping to bring forth so I just want to thank you for that and I feel like we’re on almost a completely parallel journey of Discovery because every time I have a new psychedelic Revolution I look at your website and you’d like to pick did it already today I was sharing your heart with someone that’s what I just experienced enough and I see for me it’s all just coming from the imagination however a lot of the stuff I do I do really late like right before bed I have an exercise where and when I’m so exhausted I’m ready to hit the pillow I think if I just draw at least two things and then the next morning I’m like these things and it’s a great way to get cool imagery and so for me it’s all just like stuff that’s coming do you know I don’t know where I’m just so I don’t mind it being that kind of Channel the astral realm is that place that you go to when you’re dreaming or is it starting to be okay and okay so I’m trying to articulate what what I believe is a lot of problems with people in their psychosis is actually a parasitic thought beans and I guess a lot of this comes from my research into Hindu philosophy where they talk about these entities that would descend upon people who are sad or depressed and not the whole idea that these entities are feeding off of negative energy and they’re feeding off of sadness the feeding off of anger and they’re feeding off of depression I find completely terrifying more terrifying then inverting a Christian cross as far as like if you want to create some really like cuz I know I grew up on heavy metal and like you know Tron you know what’s even more intense is showing someone that’s actually possessed of these entities who are just an end like any parasite it will feed the I need for that food source and if it’s a spot form and you’re possessed with one of these entities it’s going to feed you negative thoughts that keep you in that state of depression vs. humans have this ability to choose their state of mind and choose how they feel about things and I think a lot of the battle against depression which I feel depression is more of an enemy to modern humans then anyone wants to admit discuss or even approach and I think that a lot of work can be done by purging yourself of these you know and you can call it will it’s just a negative thought for more you could say well it’s in a strobing or you can say you know pull yourself up by your bootstraps and just stop choosing to be sad or stop letting. affect you and once I started messing around with those ideas examples of people who kept coming into my life to show me like Lamas this person if anyone is suffering from this idea it’s clearly this person who like lashes out and will manipulate or you know any of variety of ways in and who idea that there is energy vampirism that that’s exactly what’s happening and you can even feel it when you say on something’s come over me and you just get laid in with this depression that you can even like why am I depressed the sun is out so you know there’s it’s almost intangible and I find myself into battle with that often enough in and so that way I kind of work it out through my artwork and but to hear you validated and say that this is a vision into a real place in and real things that are going on is kind of mind-blowing even from me well you have it depicted on the same vibration of of bringing in the understanding of what’s going on. It’s not a Time it’s not just imagination cartoon mythology you know it’s safe to reality and in my personal experience you know what’s right I’ll try I’ll try to be careful not to make any projections or extrapolate me on my personal experience but it’s me to do the research to try to understand it and to look at different modern scientific and ancient shamanic and esoteric epistemology is really to understand that this is an actual unexplored science is afraid it’s completely afraid of the implications of the can of worms the Pandora’s box of acknowledge say hello world it’s the idea that you can torture animals and have them scream and that be like machines I mean if the death of nature than the removal of spirit from nature is what does Justified the mechanical industrial insulation of all forms of life so to have to be held accountable to St Ann’s on a non-viable level of awareness of this this reality and 54 especially in the way Karma works I mean yeah after I mean the revolution will be a psychedelic Revolution will reveal the reality that what the what do you know the concept of Karma are psyched if you believe that this system is is actually at Play What Goes Around Comes Around you know if she if you if you believe that hopefully you’ll the way you act towards life on Earth and other people on yourself but if you don’t believe that for The Butchers butcher shop they say it’s it gets easier as you go on like the first couple kills might be difficult but eventually you get used to it so you think maybe as someone is doing that do you know torturing animals for the a lot of people benefit from the proteins but the way they do it is actually horrific and the point being that if your continuously doing that do you think it weakens your aura so that entities that feed off of your perversion of this life cycle feed off of that I have observed I’ll try to, and then I’ll see if you want to have a sequential just hang out in staxel events that have given this herd of life change direction in life I’ll say yes absolutely hell growing off of each one of our Energy Systems than you can measure it’s it’s it’s it’s what I am we think of ourselves in the modern scientific medical Anatomy through production in view of the scope of our beings we just be ourselves is like one person walk around if I didn’t if I didn’t you know axe murder somebody today then I’m you know doing all right or whatever but really if you’re sitting all day resenting someone or being jealous of someone or hating someone or stalking someone or whatever you’re doing the waters and you’re going to draw more of the dark entities into your energy field because of what your emanating or what you’re exerting into the invisible space of the astral plane where you can see the Laurel at the lower astral plane why exactly if you do if you’re chronically unconsciously being depressed or being in any way in our thinking harmful or vaping harmful you know there’s a thought do you even and an action in speech you know it’s serious speech and thought and action those of your dimensions of influence of things and energies around you so taking responsibility for those levels and that’s what most of the mystical Traditions are about purifying that so that you can be more of a net producer of positive light energy that’s going to disinfect and create safety and protection around you and your family and your loved ones in the community and you should be practicing law to instead of helping feelings thoughts are are are very important in the waters that were dwelling in that we don’t even realize that we were going through swamps where is like in the real life you know that you shouldn’t go through a swamp because there’s leeches mosquitoes ticks and alligators and for all types of things that you know like to feed off of your your blood and which is Your Life Source but what we would be horrified to take an account is that we’re walking in that daily with unseen elements that are looking to break into our Oreck egg and feed of off of our Essence not just blood related but energy what should Life Source which might even be more important Ray or more expensive than you know if your mind is covered with sores that are infected you know the density of the ecology around what you’re bleeding out and the infection of those psychics or is basically creating a whole you know he’s walking around with like a planet as hell that they are responsible for giving life to its parasitically jacked into and like you said the thought-form entities their jacked into the nervous system and they’re like spammers are hackers and they can give you impulses they can give you 4 version so you can run you and manipulate you and I’ll be the ultimate form of possession is to be completely hollowed out and completely blacked out and to be just a vessel of the the Ellis will that you can imagine and there’s plenty of that stuff opening more rapidly now in the modern society where people are just so completely deformed and fractured that there’s really nothing of of of a of a moral fiber less than amount you say wall that person Solace and you almost say it jokingly like you would have bought a a terrible boss or a teacher or an IRS agent you like, totally soulless so what you’re suggesting is that the human body is just like a computer that can get installed with spyware and and and viruses that are spamming information or allowing outside sources into your home computer which everyone can understand but you’re suggesting that our minds work this way to support their money’s worth honor the directions you call in the ancestors you call in your allies and you create sacred and safe spaces for ritual healing you know that’s really yeah there’s there’s two to turn your back on a spirit world is is really not to your peril mean that’s what the modern world is all. Just ignore the karmic consequences of endless consumption of endless pollution of endless ego gratification and sense gratification that is like out of balance with spiritual practice and charity and giving and generosity the virtues of compassion and when you watch TV it seems like you know the the the people who are making commercials in horror profiting would profit even more from you keeping shut down like that and just vying the next cheeseburger and throwing away your old phone and getting a new one and and staying in this and it seems beneficial to to these hackers you know firewall worms Steven kallman worms in the computer tech world so it seems like we’re walking through this you know where everything is the trying to keep you shut down and and use it as a simple vessel just to shut off your individuality in your creativity what is like you know a lot of what television is is getting you to shut down your imagination and like let me tell you a story don’t think you know MN so many people are obsessed with this while I can’t wait to go home and watch my shows so my programming and so that they don’t have to think and they don’t have to use their own imagination and I think when you are tapping into your imagination which I’ve had the benefit of doing creating a career out of it so that I’m constantly in order to pay my bills I’m dipping into these deep creative Realms which brings me to the same conclusion that you’re talking about it’s all in the movie they lose the sci-fi film from the 80s where they replace those glasses if they use as a metaphor for what I call what I would call like activating the pineal gland you’re able to see is the true degree to which an individual has been invested and whether or not like if you if you consider the analogy of those glasses and they lived to actually be the Psychedelic experience or the use of psilocybin mushrooms for example to activate the third eye that gives you that Periscope you’re physically a periscope into the astral plane and it has been systematically sort of through conditioning through just even the process of being told that your imaginary friends aren’t real or whatever the things that just closed down the exits to the imaginal realm as adults living Mars Society were so big so rigid and so closed off that we don’t use it or you lose it basically use it or lose it so that’s a few tanglez land in the third eye perspective which is you know that every do with the Red Dot on their forehead that’s remember I mean I’m going to be cautious how I speak about a religion that’s not a mistake and what they described as species of demons to fight back and protect you no Humanity in the earth and the beauty of creation you know by the gods and goddesses are airplanes you know they’re observing this sick infection of the planet and the scriptures Psychonauts who word performing you know sexual yoga and an ascending through their nervous systems and through their their chakra systems in working with the Kundalini as it as a medical force it snows it’s no coincidence that the symbol TC on ambulances and rising up real medicine real medicine taking a revolutionary and activist approach to the situation very much like borrowing from the geology of radical leftist critique of industrial capitalism and the spiritual ecology or the Astro ecology where they’re looking at like enter dimensionality in MN under meetings that were kind of demonstrators are depicted as like a similar to these occult Lodge meetings what’s a exploitation of humans and I find priest he couldn’t see the real world but he could see them standing that were talking about now and when did that shift happen and yeah what’s that whole story painful but I spent a lot of time practicing this so I’m going to I’m going to stay where I can speak very clinically about it so you don’t please don’t worry about my you no sense of personal disclosure and I feel like the my allies in the spirit world has have prepared me to to put this stuff on record note 4 for this way really for the first time that we set it up and establish this this discourse very well already so they do this this could now start to make sense to people and I will make this is this is how I arrived there personally and because you’re the artist of my dreams you know who I would want to manifest the ability for you to be able to depict these these pivotal experiences in my life so that other people can avoid the pitfalls you know this is like you know I had to I had to send into the hotel rooms in N Go in shamanic journeys to to pull back in to come back with the understanding so you know it is his fault but it’s not in vain and and I feel like it needs to be told and depicted to prevent future misadventure into the dark Realms you know that’s that’s what that’s what my goal is by sharing this so I’m just going to really not put a lot of analysis into it and not really put a lot of it’s like I’m higher level thinking into it and just try to stick to the facts and the actual depiction of the scenarios as as they happen and then we can you can kind of ask me more more higher-level thought questions about it later so I’m so here’s the first scene let’s say that to pull it together I’m 13 years old I’m a street on living on a skateboard addicted to intravenous methamphetamine and my brothers have peer pressured me to start turning tricks to get drug money for a little Street try and Brotherhood and you know I hit it. I did not know what I was getting into I had no spiritual consciousness or training I was letting you know I had some interest in psychedelic Shamanism and I was actually not wanting to get swallowed into into the hell Realms I was seeking the mushroom there that the acid pod do the Psychedelic shamanism let me say this experience of the spirit world that you would get from Amor Amor maybe not asking but at least a plant-based hallucinogens as what should I take to relieve tension being on the street was too exposed to get away from the last key home look like that I hadn’t to find tribe and I found punk rock and so I found you know family in that where I didn’t have it at home and also started to break down the Illusions and of the American dream and start to develop a radical Consciousness but also had the desire to to explore the spirit world and to find the source and to find the ancestors into feel the Beauty and the and the love that is one of the Allies in the spirit world that will not heal Austin want to give us you know infinite love and power to to heal the planet so that was my intention was to go there but it was derailed and sucked into the Dark Realm of meth prostitution prostitution in San Francisco as a thirteen-year-old because of being screwed into what was the dominant drug on the street you know they are punks they were Agro they were violent you know and and it wasn’t just the booze you know whose it was and it was a real misadventure that I strongly discourage anyone from Filipino from continuing or starting on the path of using those drugs and and here’s why and then this is where we get into like something that would you know pop out of one of your paintings and I don’t think you know this is this is this it it’s it’s painful and grotesque but it is part of what we have to own about what’s happening on the earth and it affects all sex workers and all you know models and anyone who’s being used it a piece of me for sexual gratification by anybody you know if so so here’s the the nuts and bolts my soul was shattered after ordering multiple days and maybe weeks of basically being brainwashed in in and raped by demons you know inside and out to being drugged unconscious and basically made you know into a sort of Satanic ritual abuse object of of extreme these were just John to or picking you up picking up a 13 year old boy in San Francisco Giants and some of them were very like just sort of nerdy guys who probably didn’t get laid in high school and now they’ve sort of falling into a trap of this and this sum you know Darkside activity but they weren’t dark Lords of the Underworld who were the you know manipulating children on the street to be in there Cults and do whatever for them right they were just like normal professional people who had this dark side Shadow nightlife that they would go down in an indulgent but what I’m talking about in this scene let’s say is you know very intentional very highly demonic sort of high-ranking demonic infested possessed men who were like actually intelligently using black magic sorcery to to to rip open you know young and I was a virgin at the time so you know my soul was shattered before I even had made love to a woman when should have been my preference from an astro perspective of being lap for Days Inn in sort of melting in to the other side that these demonic possessed men were actually not just having their way with me you know sexually for their own sort of getting off purposes but they’re possessing demonic entities were actually open the chakras protected web and and their larvae into my energy. And this was the act of infestation you know of my energy system and is almost as a form of like black sex Magik surgery of them Plantation and am I saw translucent spiders come down from the walls and I do know then I was blacked out and I don’t even know you know now really what what else mechanically was actually done but that’s just one situation either had I have been sexually abused and other contexts even earlier in life and and how many of us have had to and so there is a movement around Rites of Passage I sit on the board if you passageways which is a network that focus is squarely on you no Rites of Passage for you coming of age from all different walks and and and modalities you know some of them are our Boys to Men oriented some of them are girls to women some of them are starting to incorporate non gender binary kind of approaches as well which is good and and this whole focus on bringing back the ancestors into looking at Rites of Passage is is starting to happen and something that I focused on and so that’s that’s a resource you know people can go to youth passageways. Oregon and look at what programs are out there and they can also think about how they can add to that list and bring in things that are needed around especially around sexuality and relationship which is often I noticed kind of a big gap in a lot of programs out there you know because they’re confined confined or constrained by the conservative values where they take place and you know what school system is you know this is one of those places lagging for that kind of thing so it’s a role that I think that many people who understand the need can step into and cultivate as career paths you know and some people are pig figuring out how they can weave their credentials says on Sexual Health Educators or sexual therapist or sexual trauma or no trauma-based therapists you know into this realm of initiation and that’s that needs to happen on a on an increased level the other I see a lot of because of what I was saying around looks really don’t how many Avenues to learn other than through you know what the books in the workshops and offerings around sexuality thoughts unfortunately are not rooted in in people’s only need two lineages generally speaking you know so the whole Tantra movement is pretty much so you know a cultural appropriator of New Age fight version of those Traditions that would have been squashed by Christianity especially and so I think there’s work to be done there and as much as possible Retreat retrieving reconstructing are reconnecting with our own ancestral Traditions which I’m sure you know had their own knowledge wisdom around how to how to raise healthy harmonious individuals with healthy sexualities from from the vantage point of how what little I do know has been has been done in indigenous cultures and without wanting to appropriate for them from them I’ll just give way of examples out of that you know in and certain cultures that are studied like the Mayan culture and I think to some degree on certain places within Creek culture there’s examples of how as societies you know that the children are raised from an early age 2 reach a point where they understand how to how to harmonize with the other sex and how to to look after each other and that’s just a very basic principle that I feel like you know that’s that’s worth kind of learning how to integrate into our family structures if we have children that were raising just to keep in mind that you know there is a need for them to learn skills around things like consent and around being responsible with with one’s sexual energies and and I needs to start before they reach that age of adolescence where they’re just harder to connect with if you haven’t built up that Foundation so that’s something that I think about will do you so if I if if we check out that the organization that you mention is it would that be good place to find and something like a more enlightened or more conscious like sexual education curriculum or guidebook do you know if people were working on something like that so if I know if you know parents who were going through the puberty of their child that they have something that’s not just this cold clinical Western and even though that sort of evolving a little bit you know with things like a sack didn’t and whatnot I see a lot but the The ancestral wisdom and you know the ceremonial Rites of Passage you know how does it how does the Modern Family say okay well you’re about to start feeling you know hormonal Energy’s how do we give you know create even if it’s just within their family or their Community yoga or whatever is something more than what’s being offered in the normal sex ed or what they’re listening in gangster rap music and watching on sitcoms obviously you know it’s enough for lack of lot of alternative options it’s one one place to look and we’re always looking for others so whenever we discover something then we will see to auditory resources and we are trying to vet those resources and those organizations to make sure that they really are you know at least there’s some some level of you know safe recommendation that we can give for those those organizations we’re not we’re not in the position to really kind of completely you know set standards but we are trying to we have a code of what we call it a cross-cultural protocol so we do look at that aspect that you have for what we’re talking about that’s you know if that’s another layer that we will hopefully get to eventually and I do know that there are people within our Network who are really strongly focused on this particularly around girls to women kind of education and and Rites of Passage and some of the Boys to Men once but I think it’s also something we need to to enhance as well oh that’s great yeah that’s that’s that’s what I wanted to hear so that I can just refer people to this ongoing and so and then the LSI is kind of its there’s a Facebook I’ve been interacting with the the Facebook group for a while so is that something you recommend people plug-in I mean that’s the goal of that is to feature blogs and generate discussions from those blogs and also to establish a resource of services as well as information and so that’s you know running on in a very limited volunteer capacity and so you know it’s something that I hope will eventually become a very powerful resource but already it’s you know it’s been feedback that I’ve received that you know even just the the group that we have on Facebook somebody posted recently. You know it’s really help them in their in their path which is nice to hear and I’ve heard that a few times and I try to curate that group in such a way where it’s like you know it’s trying to generate discussion and it’s it’s trying to be a safe space where where people can get into some of those I’m intimate revealing is of what what’s going on in their lives one of the things that kind of came out of love sex intelligence local as a connection with Tamara and the love school that they have which is a very congruence philosophy to love sex intelligence and they’re their work to try to create or with to create safe spaces for people to to share stories of what’s going on in their intimate lover sexual lives and and B witnessed in a way that is non-judgemental where they’re not being flooded with advice but more just being witnessed which is kind of connected to that whole framework for Rites of Passage itm witnessing each other and so it’s it’s trying to also look at how you know communities can succeed in their in their goals which might include you know like being more sustainable or being an alternative to the systems around us and also being a part of a more peaceful kind of culture through filling this hole that is often where things go wrong where people are are are not feeling safe to talk about these these human experiences around wounding around are our hearts and our sexuality so I’ve been part of a Practice Group here that has been circulating also to other parts of BC and I think it’s a really it’s a really powerful movement to be a part of yeah we’re getting close to an hour or so I have to take a few more minutes and I’m get a couple thoughts and feelings some responsible for 1 something that his is coming up for me that I think it’s really empowering is this like idea that wouldn’t it be nice if some of us started to think of ourselves as aspiring Elders I’ve never thought of it that way until this conversation and there’s a little spark of joy and me that that says you know puts in context the the punk rock lifestyle that I had of live fast Die Young and just you know if it’s not throwing yourself into the meat grinder of insurrectionary activism you know with this sort of Death Wish you know this martyr complex or whatever it’s like those are really unsustainable archetypes to follow and they leave a lot of people when they get to my age in about 35 like in a sort of existential crisis that will the revolution didn’t happen and I didn’t get killed I didn’t die in the gutter you know I mean what am I going to do now and it’s like well maybe it’s time to become an aspiring Elder and you know clean up your act and and then start to think about how you’re going to make it easier cuz I there’s a lot of things that I had to go through that I would seriously love to have no one else ever have to go through and if you know if we can live in that. you know that is what you’re supposed to think that I think of you say you know you can you can learn from the wisdom of Elders who have gone through and made the mistakes that you’re probably going to go through or you can just be hard-headed and learn all your lessons the hard way but I mean we’ve had to learn a lot of hard lessons in the absence of the eldership but I think if we take on that there’s a yeah me too. It seems obvious but really the way you put it his medicine for me to think you know it’s a dignified path to be an aspiring Elder and then it makes you not be so how do I can help you defeat that that that grinding pressure that oh my I’m going to lose my looks and I’m going to lose my energy and I’m going to be in the state of deprecation towards death and that’s very much the greatest fear of the western manicured Uno photoshopped airbrushed identity like you’re not really giving any hope that aging will be of any benefit in here just marginalized further and further so I thank you for that serve very much still give that time sacred eldership dignity not a light title to hold I think the true Elder wouldn’t really feel comfortable in it cuz it’s defining attributes of an elder that is really one that can help that role be the best it can be is one that is is really accountable is really present isn’t so on the move that if you can’t you know be relied upon to be there for the people that it serves now needs to ideally be in the in the fellowship of other Elders to kind of keep it in in in check in a way like we have to watch for the Cole group kind of phenomenon where people you know place a lot of weight on that person and in a way that can privilege them in certain ways and also lead to potential like power distortions and things like that you know it’s it’s only human that people will make mistakes and so having that kind of accountability of other people and also that time yeah you have people heart or a different there’s always like in every phase of life with the lifecycle there’s there’s like the maturing phases and so there’s like you know there’s a baby elder there’s enough adult Elder and then Senior Elder and so it’s just we have to learn at each stage of Life how to become the mature version of what that stage is and says just something to think about as well and it’s good to to get your feet wet early on in life so that you know we can have deep roots and and the and those are the kinds of people to like in the Tamara situation out of the black community they have a circle of Elders who are basically people who have grown with a community enough that they know the people in their community and then they serve a role as potential kind of like the Matchmaker but you know in a way where people can approach them in and ask them like you know I’m interested in this person and they can help you assess whether this is the right time or what is a good or bad idea and you know they can kind of that. Whole courtship in a way that you know really I think I wish there were more of those people around here don’t you let me relax you know learn the hard way what does that we’re just not compatible certain people in The Matrix the I mean yeah I’m not I’m not a political scientist of the Matrix but I will say that what got me peaked on the ecstatic trance dance group ritual ceremony festival thing was it really when I saw I think it was maybe the second movie or maybe it was the second or the third but there was a scene where they’re just getting down to like Juno Reactor I think was a soundtrack of a butt there is something beautiful about seeing the different the warrior culture Guided by elders and of course there’s different the archetypes playing out in Conflict split that to me was took it further than then the Star Trek Federation is a futuristic Elder guided Council guided kind of reality so that was kind of fun but yeah so that’s what came to mind when you’re at we’re talking about that be so cool if you’re early sexual oracle’s who you go to you know if we’re going to give you insights and maybe even have name your child for you or something cool like that you know be so cool but right on then will I worry about at the hours so do you have any closing touch you want to share or any other resources or should we just I’ll post the the links that you mention and I’ll definitely encourage people to stay informed and keep an eye out for your anything coming up you have any appearances or anything exciting like that coming up you want to mention I think yeah I think I covered a lot of it and I just wanted to maybe plant a seed while I have the airwaves here about something that I’d I’d eventually like to work on presenting which is around insert Intercultural relationships and also decolonizing our relationships as well and just thinking about how how we can heal some of these ancestral traumas and use that has as as a means to strengthen our relationships and also our society right on I’ll be looking forward to everything that you’re you’re expressing in the world and I hopefully yeah maybe sometime in the future we can talk about skill sets for Beyond Christian monogamy that would be a great topic so yeah how would you feel about that maybe we can sometime in the next few months follow up with something like that. Maybe by the by the time I’ll have more of a personal lived experience to a base conversation around that I think you know in terms of people who are already I don’t know how many listeners here are on a Christian spiritual path without that many but if the energy and gnosticism and sacred marriage not going to the alchemical top in the in the Gnostic tradition but I I wouldn’t make any claims to be an expert in that area but it’s definitely something to look at cool alright then we will be in touch and will follow up sometime in the future and thank you so much so be I really enjoyed it and I know it’s taking us a while to get this to get this done but I think it was perfect and I couldn’t ask for anything more so you have a wonderful day. Take care and keep for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and if you want a podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been at Contra Punk. Com Thomas Day