Tag Archives: shakti

Sexorcism the Tantric Opera Episode 14 “Om My Goddess”

This is a Tantric devotional/instructional love song that teaches the core methodology of honoring each other as God/Goddess and entering into sacred union to achieve a state of divine grace and experience ecstatic altered states of bliss. The lyrics and melody were channeled in a ritual goddess worship session. It felt as if it was dripping into my crown chakra vortex, as if shakti was secreting it like nectar.

I made a demo version of the track with all acoustic instruments, and my dear bro Nuno remixed this version as Ninesense.

Please sing and dance along with your lover:

Om my goddess
Om my god
Om my goddess
Om my god

Om my god/dess
You’re beautiful
I love you
I thank you

Patriarchy has denied
Shamed and brutalized
We must resacrilize
Body temples as divine

Sit on my lap
Legs around your back
Look into my eyes
Breathing synchronized

Cycle up the spine
The energy inside
Open the third eye
DMT will flood your mind

If you want to see the light
You must last all night
Pray between my thighs
Meditate while I’m inside

Sexorcism the Tantric Opera Episode 13 “The Lost Art of Yoni Massage”

This video depicts my personal style of providing yoni puja, or yoni worship including sacred spot (g-spot) massage.

“Women are divinity, women are life, women are truly
jewels.”

-The Yoni Tantra

Tantric Parenting and Fierce Womanhood with Rhoda Shapiro TPP213

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Rhoda Shapiro Pic

In this episode I’m joined by my first tantra teacher Rhoda Shapiro for an exploration of her new book and her perspectives on tantric parenting and motherhood. We’ve been intending to do a podcast for quite a while and it quickly became clear that this was the perfect time and well worth the wait. It was a great honor to be able to transmit her wealth of knowledge and high vibe energy through the podcast.

It was a blessing to get a behind-the-book perspective on her evolution as a writer, leader of women’s circles, mother, actress, and much more. I truly believe her book will connect with a wide audience and do wonders to raise the tantric vibration world-wide.

It was very timely for her to be on the show to provide insight and advice for conscious tantric parenting and motherhood. The questions she answered came straight from a new mom listener who will be adapting and applying the empowering information immediately.

Time flew and we agreed we’ll have to schedule more podcast adventures soon to provide a broader overview on her personal development leading up to her book, explore tantric birthing, and much more!

For a more in depth perspective on my appreciation for her role in my tantric path, please listen to my podcast where I share an essay I wrote in her praise:

Words of Praise for my First Tantra Initiatrix Rhoda Shapiro TPP154
https://tantrapunk.com/words-of-praise-for-my-first-tantra-initiatrix-rhoda-jordan-tpp154/

About Rhoda:

Rhoda Shapiro has worked for a decade as a tantric educator, training women to step into their power by way of meditation, movement, dance, expression, and yoga. She has facilitated women’s circles and taught workshops throughout Los Angeles and in the San Francisco Bay Area. Rhoda’s YouTube channel, which has amassed thousands of subscribers, features yogic practices to empower both men and women. Rhoda is also the Founder/Editor-in-Chief of The Milpitas Beat, a Silicon Valley-based newspaper. She lives in the Bay Area with her husband, Eric, and their two sons. She is the author of Fierce Woman: Wake up your Badass Self, which was just released by Llewellyn Publications.

Book Links:
https://www.amazon.com/Fierce-Woman-Wake-Your-Badass/dp/0738760927

https://www.llewellyn.com/product.php?ean=9780738760926#utm_source=homepage&utm_medium=banner&utm_campaign=fiercewoman0819&llewbid=1111&llewzid=342

Rock Your Cock with Evolved Masculine Coach and Tantric Punk Larry Fredrick TPP207

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Larry Fredrick picIn this episode I’m joined by Larry Fredrick a highly experienced and accomplished evolved masculine coach. He shares the intimate details of his journey of personal growth through the catharsis of the early punk rock movement, transcending a failing marriage, getting into self-help, pick-up artistry, and ultimately a diverse array of spiritual and sexual mastery programs.

He has a down-to-earth perspective on learning and teaching practical self-improvement skill sets for men. With over 10 years of advanced training and practice he’s developed the “Rock Your Cock” program for men to really step into their power from a place of heart-centered, mindful, and spiritual consciousness.

I was most intrigued by his stories of experiencing authentic traditional tantric initiation in the jungles of India and his explanation of how he’s been able to adapt the teachings and apply them in his own love and sex life, as well as transmit the teachings to his students.

It was a deep honor and pleasure to have this opportunity to speak with a fellow rocker who’s living the dream as a tantric punk, has worked directly with many of my heroes, and who embodies forms of tantric magic that you can’t learn from books alone.

About Larry:

Larry Fredrick is an award winning international educator. He’s also a sex coach;
licensed and certified in Erotic Blueprints, Sexological bodywork, Neurolinguistic
Programming, Hypnotherapy, and Somatic Sex Education.

Larry works with men who want to clearly find and express their desires so they can
feel empowered in finding passion, pleasure, and juicy hot sex. He has traveled the
globe, from the mountains of Peru to Tantric temples in the jungles of India, training
with some of the top names in the fields of self transformation and sexual education
including Jaiya Ma, David Deida, Michaela Boehm, Destin Gerek, Satyen Raja and Joseph
Kramer.

From having issues with erectile dysfunction, performance and social skills, to
becoming a multi-orgasmic man with the skills and techniques of a confident lover,
Larry helps men step into their full erotic power so they can have more confidence in
the bedroom and in their relationships.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/embody.awakening.1
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/embodyawakening/
Website: http://www.embody-awakening.com/

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin double dribble Evans welcome to Township Funk podcast episode number 2 0 7 buy a very Frederick who is a masculine empowerment coach and he has a lot of interesting and exciting offerings that we’re going to talk about we go back to having met through Destin Garrix Network and the weekends or weekend men’s Retreats that I’ve been apart of and he is taking that further and done the training and is now yeah Mexican apartment coaches work with Dustin Garrick he’s worked with Jaya and provides for blueprint training Psalm Isadora and others and that we have some interesting choices of Common Ground coming from a punk. Background and we’ll have lots to talk about regarding the relationship interplay between the punk at 6 and attitude and the Tantrum and so with that said Larry do you want to just give us kind of an overview of your personal Journey leading up to all of these exciting offerings at you right now well I mean my bias is long so I’m just going to cut to the meat I am on a masculine empowerment coach I have a program called Rock your cock which is on my website it’s exactly what the title says it’s to help me and be in there talking show up to women and masculine way and also be in their heart and be in their mind being there in their spirit so it’s connecting the lower chakras the higher chakras and it works through blocks and sexual techniques and on communication relationships so that’s the program that I’m offering the listeners they sign up on my website but I’ve also travel all over the world work with a whole bunch of teachers it’s been a long journey from a failed marriage sexless marriage to know I having an amazing hot juicy sex with an amazing woman I mean our house right now doing this podcast on so I think we should just get right to the question you might have been possible thank you that overview and I would say you have for me a lot of a lot of this work started with a path to Liberation through the punk rock movements I’d love to have to have you start there seems like an earlier chapter of your life when when you were mainly involved in that scene in that community and so I left it here just what that was like what that was like for you and how that’s kind of was a in a precursor to or foreshadowing a more spiritual path yes I would say that the punk movement was when I was part of the punk scene it was and I was not on the spiritual path I was graduated high school in 1982 and that was kind of the heart of the punk movement so when I would go out with my friends they would be to some of the Seas really small tiny little clubs and what I liked about the punk movement is that it was about redefining everything including what music you know like you didn’t even have to play an instrument to play an instrument and you also didn’t need what was an instrument instrument could be a power drill and instrument could be you know something that that you bang on and make noise you didn’t have to sing you didn’t have to look a certain way you could just go out there and express emotions so it was like in a really cathartic and sort of Rage driven and you know for a young man it was a way to kind of experience now on a more spiritual level two experience on a visceral level of emotions in a group of people yeah I hear you on that and that’s something I would like to ask you is as if you had since your contract negotiations and in Journeys in Adventures you I’m sure you have both experienced than just been coming across people who are core very much about inviting the shot the energy and Awakening Kundalini energy and a lot of sometimes erratic kind of krias and sometimes more graceful dance forms but I always like to make the comparison that the Kundalini energy is really well leather it up in the punk rock circle pit and sometimes even the mosh pit but there’s also like a activation going on that’s doing some stuff on purging and purification you have any thoughts on I’m not sure though I mean I know what I have learned over the years is a fellow I’ve done a lot of working in different states cramps and there’s definitely a trance that happens when you’re in a group of people listening to music whatever that music is an. The emotions that come out become magnified when they’re when it’s not just you feeling that emotion but a whole group of people feel emotions that are brought out in a punk rock club or different than in a tantric Puja but they’re still emotions and they’re still magnified by being in the group that is a great way to say and Selso and very inclusive way to say you had mention also that you do hypnosis so this might be a good time maybe a little out of the timeline to mention it here but we were talking about France dates and Altered States do you want to talk a bit about what he described for people who may be haven’t had an xtatic group emotional cathartic experience like what is that what how would you describe that in terms of your knowledge of how the brain works and how the nervous system works and and how Altered States were when you’re in a group of people doing the weather is a tantric Puja or a rock concert or even going to Vegas there’s a lot of things that are basically you go into a State of Trance when your mind is overloaded so if you’re overloaded by the sounds of slot machines going off at noises and sounds and smells your ear mind starts to get overloaded and then it becomes suggestible so we’re overloaded it when I live in Los Angeles I mean I’m overloaded as soon as I walk out of my house there’s there’s things that are overloading my mind which means that my mind is very susceptible to Suggestions by advertisers people that may not have my best interest so when you go into a trance State you were open and you could be open to positive suggestions or negative suggestions as a hypnotist I’m I’m trying to say I’m trying to see if you’re in that trance state with a hypnotist URI your ear assuming and I know that will not working with you I’m sitting in container with your safety mind and your best interest in mind so what I’m going to put his suggestions that are positive as opposed to suggestions that if you eat this hamburger from Carl’s jr. you’re going to get laid or whatever other suggestions people are putting in our head through our everyday hypnosis with that I don’t know if that makes sense yeah totally not exactly what I was supposed I’m getting out of here so I’m curious so from going from that earlier Punk type of initiation what what were some of the Catalyst I know you mentioned it a sexless marriage and so what was that process like of transforming your life pass into Seaking Tantra discovering it and then you can give us the sort of them chronology of the different works that you’ve been involved in 4 years old so I’ve had a lot of Life of different stories and episodes but I think one of us when I was in the midst of my marriage I was also sort of dissatisfied with my job and I went to I went to a therapist who was going to put me on medication and I said you know I’ll fuck that I don’t want to that’s not the route I want to go I want to take them medicine so I decided to look into hypnotherapy as a way of you know kind of working on myself like I figured that I could use positive thinking that use hypnotherapy to give direction to why was starting to feel kind of lost in a marriage and a job and it worked I mean a super powerful and I found that I was attracting when I was when I was starting out I was attracting a lot of men who either word at social anxiety or or problems relating to women a lot of guys that were in a computer Gamers and then they would just like really in their head and I found that they were drawn to me because I also I totally understand was a computer gamer I was addicted to World of Warcraft I was psychic Total Computer gamer I’m that was my way of escaping which is also a state of hypnosis so first I use it as a way of working on myself and then I just found that I naturally Drew clients for men who were going through the same thing I was in which is basically get out of your head and into your body and you know take all the negative stories all this all the self steam issues all the confidence issues in and a really men are powerful and in most of them we work hard and sometimes we forget that there’s so many negative stories like to impart positive confidence power and is just to show up those were some of the things that I was doing as a hypnotist and also letting them most of them were able to get over their shyness or their social anxiety and really feel much better about themselves and show up show up for women better now that you know that was just the beginning that was where I started I’ve got a lot farther since since I started out that is very interesting I’m very concerned about the new generation as well younger generation coming up through the video games in that level disconnection if you don’t mind before we move forward into more of the time and spirituality and sexuality episodes in chapters you know what would you say if you were if a person listening now is really hooked on gaming and not and not really taking care of their body and not taking care of their their relationships and I’m kind of getting sucked into that realm do you have any advice just off the top of your head that you would share or recommend that they contact you or I’d love to know about more resources for people in that situation too big essential secret for all of it and it’s not just kids on video games cuz I’m working out with about messing with about twenty-five men and it’s all they’re all it’s all the same as we’re in our heads we’re not in our body it takes like it it’s it’s like a gradual moving into our bodies and in feeling our bodies are so much numbness like I find the men that I’m working with right now I’m working with them and then they are like I’ll take a breath and they say what do you feel and if they will I feel relaxed bulshit you don’t feel relaxed you feel your body you feel the tension from being hunched over a computer over a car it’s like they’re not feeling their bodies so they’re not feeling their own their own bodies are not filled their emotions if shut it all down and they’re not showing up for the women in their lives thank you for doing that work and I would say myself I was I was very much a gamer growing up as a child but I guess luckily for me to games weren’t that controlling so I spent plenty of time by the time I matured sexually life my actual life became the video game that all of the BB King the real game that the video games were kind of like training for so I hope that that art of development can be kind of you know did you ever get that sense that there’s an appropriate role for four games of all kinds and then once life really starts going you should be out there and living it right but I mean I think everything is I’m not against games go and you know video games are awesome but I’m against retreating into your head into like a fantasy world so you’re not dealing with your own body your own emotions you’re not dealing with reality you’re not dealing with opportunities in front of you so you know there’s nothing wrong with video games is nothing wrong with whatever drugs or alcohol or whatever it is people use to get out of their bodies and into their you know whatever Escape people need but if you live there and you’re not you’re not connecting to the real world was obviously that’s not what I’m I want I want men to choose I want men to be a body grounded Power full sewing up in the real world and feeling their bodies feeling they’re motioning and feeling their sexuality because they’re missing out that you know that there’s a lot of men having sex or fucking but they’re not feeling like the full range of what’s possible in orgasm which even even what men consider orgasm I mean it took me a long time to reach to the point where I’m really like blown the lid off of what an orgasm is I I can I could lie in bed next to my partner and we haven’t even had sex and I’ll just be like convulsing in like shaking and in like complete pleasure that would could be nonstop until I finally so you know what I want to go to sleep so I didn’t even know what was possible an orgasm all right well yeah I get there I get your point I think so I think there could be a sweet spot of having your cake and eating it too guarding the video games and if you really develop yourself in in the physical and spiritual and sexual aspects then by all means enjoy the video games that I would take that to be some good advice and so now we’re getting into that more advanced sexual Spiritual Development so what happened next in your journey as far as your discovery of Tantra did you find out fire and go to a workshop or did some mystical Guru approach you and traveling trip or what was that that was very very much a guy into TV and video games and and I got involved in like the pickup seen you know there’s did the pickup artist scene and at which why don’t want to get into that but I was listening to a podcast and I found out about this workshop and it was a tantra Workshop didn’t you didn’t the guy named such Young Living Canada who is still I still involved with his great awesome teacher and it was a it was a 3-day workshop and involving Connection in communication between men and women and it was sort of a Puja but again none of these words and if you did I wouldn’t have known what it was what it meant I was totally not into anything that I considered spiritual chakras or any of that stuff I would not have gone which is it was called I think was called sex passion in Enlightenment something like that was a 3-day workshop and I went to that and it just blew my mind I mean making eye contact with different women and I’m all of the things that came up all of the emotions that came up all of the you know that the self-reflection that came up and reminder that there’s a story I told him another podcast but I might as well tell the story I was I was paired up with a woman and she looked me in the eyes it was like eye contact and all she said to me is I trust you this was just the lines that a woman was supposed to say to a man I trust you and I received that you know the woman sang to me I trust you and I I was on the ground like crying for I don’t I don’t even know how long are in a ball crying because I realized I was not a trustworthy Matt which is why my marriage is all fucked up I was not a man that a woman can trust and I sort of made it like I sort of question what what is it like to be a trustworthy man what is what is a trustworthy man that’s what a woman wants no more than a big cock they want a man’s dick trust I mean so it in terms of becoming a sexual Manner and I realized I had a lot of inner work to do and then I realized that what I was learning was Contra and then and then that set me on a whole other path which is actually why I was attracted to Dyess blueprints because she talks about different blueprints one of being energetic and I realize that I was an energetic and I didn’t even know what that was I didn’t even know that was a thing but now that I’ve coached for the blueprints it’s like I wasn’t energetic in my shadow which hole explain later but I was at I was an energetic was kind of didn’t know I was and therefore I lived in the shadow of the energetic well I just was a beautiful story and I think yeah but I’m glad that that offering existed and you were able to connect with it I do I didn’t get involved myself in the pickup scene and I I guess I kind of I feel like I avoided it as as a Pastime personally but I have met some people recently you know who was part of their the early attorney as well and so if you don’t mind talking about it I love to hear a little bit more but if you’d rather not that’s fine too but I’ll just put that out there for people who don’t some of the principles of it I think there is maybe it has a bad reputation as being manipulative and really selfish and kind of way to use kind of trickery and and tactics of Deceit and so that’s that’s like the negative impression I have it although I’ve been enlightened that there’s more to it and it’s actually a past 2 in development and evolution that’s that has a very respectable depends on who you train with or who your buddies are but do you want to talk about that is there anything Redemptive that people should know about that but I think there’s an idea is that we can change as men that we can learn skills we can learn skills like presents we can learn how to communicate better that these are skills that we need to learn that we’re not just some men are what are called Naturals but a lot of men are not and that there’s ways to teach it to the ways to learn it there’s ways to improve so the idea of men like I mean there’s a lot of ego and in terms of no I’m good I’m good I’m okay you know I’m I’m doing alright like the idea of the pickup is that actually wherever you’re at you could be better and pick up does use a lot of NLP which is neuro-linguistic programming that’s kind of a another reason I got interested in it and a hypnosis in a lot of the things that you know now that I that I teach it there was a lot of things that I learned from being in that scene especially the ideas at these are skills that could be learned in that they can be taught so we don’t have to be satisfied with where we’re at as men and that there are ways to break down and improve their very well said I appreciate that if somebody was had missed out on getting into the pickup seen earlier do you recommend that people go and read certain books or watch certain videos or find certain meetups is it still something that you would include in your programs for men now or was it something that you kind of see is like all well it was a means to an end or stepping stone I’m curious if you would still endorse that movement somehow we’ll see I don’t know what the movement is up to now I think there’s a lot of no sketchy kind of characters in there and a lot of like exploiting a lot of marketing and a lot of I think taking advantage of men who want to improve I mean I would recommend myself because hitch hook I’m taking what I learned from pick up from hypnosis and other things and spirituality and I’m not teaching not teaching men to go out to bars and pick up women but I’m teaching men to be the kind of man that wants to go to the bars they’ll be more attractive to women don’t I don’t teach lines or anything like that cuz I found they don’t work but works is doing the work on yourself so you show up as a more powerful attractive man and I think that what the pickup is exploiting is is they need which again I finding working with men is like we want the Magic Bullet and we want it fast and we want it like Surefire and we want it without doing the work like we want we want that they promised a lot and you know like the magic pick up line is going to make them horny and a lot of it’s bullshit really but if you get involved if it doesn’t wake you up and turns it over these are things that I can improve I I can improve my posture I can improve how I make eye contact with person and I can improve my listening skills I can improve how I show up and then these things help build confidence and then when confidence is building then you naturally become more attractive person and more attractive to women those again great points I’m glad that that were talking about that something I I guess kind of worried and hasn’t again been that personal to me but I feel you on that so so now where would you say you want to start bringing in the official trainings that you did the Special Operations that you’ve done with some of the sum of the key players in the modern Neo Tantra and movement sounds like you’ve been you know getting out there and so when did your formal or more formal training ministration start in Gaston go from there after I did that work with Sachi on the path of the Warrior Stage so I did a lot of work with him which included shamanic journeys to Mexico meeting doing doing meeting shamans and I can’t even like going to some of the the magical crazy stuff that happened in he he was he was into David data so I got involved with David data in one of his teachers Michaela boehm might I work with her and so these are different different forms of Tantra and none of them call themselves Tantra but then I got involved in like I met Psalm Isadora and she’s much more of a the more traditional like old school country from India or the cheap there’s a whole Neo Tantra movement which comes from Osho and a lot of the teachers teach this this form of Tantra that is basically from Osho when he came to America and I do know it’s like I can’t talk forever about talks so much about it but some really I really clicked with her because she she she brought in this like traditional chanting in Sanskrit and it was just beautiful rituals and I like the ritual of it I like the I like the kind of formality of the ritual so she told me about a temple that you did too in India and if it came to my mind and then she passed away so I never got a chance to go to this Temple but then I did with another teacher Don Cartwright took me to this Temple because it’s hidden you don’t know where it is and it’s like an old-school ancient country Temple Heating in the jungle and if you can give you make it there by got initiated basically it was like 2 weeks class of of learning how to chant incense sounds great and there’s is 108 goddess statues and you have to do a ritual to each one it’s it’s kind of like you’re just immersed in this ancient language there there’s flowers everywhere and smells and and it’s just kind of mind-blowing I was basically magic school it’s like I learn magic and but that sounds weird is it there there’s a hundred and a goddess statues in in like they’re all sexual and there’s that there’s a Temple there that’s like the Yoni Temple so it’s basically goddess worship and I have to learn these these these rituals and you just immersed in it and it is going into a trance basically your this thing is in the jar there’s no toilet paper there if you eat with your hands and it’s like a whole other world it’s like going back thousand years and and then at the end do you know I basically was initiated into the srivijaya lineage but what’s interesting about it is I did a ceremony with kaniche where I was basically the one of my wishes was to bring this woman I was seeing on this journey with me and I’m in our house right now it’s been 3 years and we were just kind of seeing each other but I wanted her to be part of this journey and then for Valentine’s Day after coming back from the temple I did this Pooja that I learned there in the temple that it’s like a secret ancient ceremony and I learned it And I memorized it and I practiced it and I prefer I did it to her on Valentine’s Day and she said that blew her mind like like like to have it wasn’t that it wasn’t the ritual of it but to have so much attention paid on her like all the details that you know you have to have and tastes all five senses I touch different parts of her body different pressure points and pleasure points and did chanting and took like 2 hours but it said she said that blew her mind you know like to have that kind of ritual performed on her and I could never do it again it’s like I could not remember all of that all of that stuff I learned I have to go back in my arms again but it was almost it did feel like I had received some kind of transmission and I like I was I’m talking about it I don’t really talk about this I’ve never actually really talked about this because there’s some feeling of I don’t know if people are going to believe me or am I showing off or what it what exactly am I saying and yet I’m also feeling like a vibration in my chest that I went through this experience was pretty incredible I mean hidden country temple in the jungles of India and initiating in the bringing that to my girlfriend yeah it is putting me in a trance as I talk about it well me too I’m having an adventure in my mind too and I love that you shared that and I feel blessed that you feel comfortable sharing those details with me and I’m sure there’s you know you can write a whole book just about that that cycle that you did there but you know I’m I’m flashing through all of the experiences I’ve had doing fujas and rituals and ceremonies and just everything that I’ve experienced in in the westernized Neo Tantra version where think there’s always a number of people who’ve had those more authentic traditional classical country experiences in India or in other parts of other parts of the world and bring that back and are able to bring that transmission and that energy carries forward for people who work for just you know in some meat up in somebody’s living room on in West play or something and actually it is it transmits but I love hearing the stories of the actual experience is cuz we really I don’t think we have many places in the US where where goddess worship and the ritualised procedural practice of worshiping and asking for blessings and protection from the deities I don’t see that happening a lot I send in the meet-up send in the township groups what not I think there is more of a focus on more secular personal development and just you know how to be a better relationships and this kind of undifferentiated one missense of bliss but I’m actually way more interested in this otherworldly transdimensional intelligent entities deities and beautiful Divine spirits that have personalities and very distinct archetypal Personalities in that that’s what you’re talking about and so I’m thrilled to always hear more about what those practices of the ones that seem to not get through the mesh into the West as often as like the multi-orgasmic even the Kundalini stuff which I’ve heard you know a lot of Kundalini people approach Kundalini without without paying homage to its is a feminine Shakti goddess aspect of it so much so yeah I’m glad you had that experience and then that you bring that forward and certainly that we just go from talking about the gimmicks of pick up Artistry which you know it’s like I think of pickup artists I think of con artists I think of like confidence scams and then evil going from from that Vibe of that world to this experience you talking about and translating the beauty and magic of these experiences in Matt’s and then having the proof in the pudding and applying it to turning on and really worship thing and giving to this beloved you yours like I hope that those people who are trying to buy the magic pills and by the secret pick up lines and all that they actually would hear this and and and be inspired by what you’re saying you say there’s like a way way deeper Richard passed to towards some pleasing women and in being a God you know being like the guy who gets her off the best and the guys will never forget that that can come from it a deeper more of my spiritual face so thank you very much that was my you know my my Applause and praise for it for you sharing that and so do you want to then go from there to how you started to apply that if you start to want to teach Tantra more formally and start building your own kind of phone programs did you do some other trainings if you go to work with diarrhea right after that or what was next time you’re you’re sort of Business Development path of Tantra make something clear like this I’m listening to this I’m not expecting men to go into the jungles in like wipe their ass with their hands because there’s no toilet paper you know what and then come back and do a 3-hour ritual to the woman in order to get laid that’s not what I’m saying that I did that but what I teach man is to put their attention and make make like or you can make an ordinary day exciting and ritualistic so like I’m going we’re going to San Diego this weekend and we’re sitting we’re going to turn it into a ritual at an adventure and I’m going to I’m going to pay attention to my woman as opposed to like the pickup artist seen I think there was a lot of like Don’t Buy Women drains their they’re not going to respect you if you if women don’t respect men who are nice guys and all that in you could be nice to a woman you could pay attention to a woman you could be attentive to her needs you could have your balls intact it’s not like if you’re if you’re nice to a woman or you please a woman or you pay attention to her that you’re giving up your balls that’s like the thing that I didn’t like about pick up cuz I love sharing my woman with some attention so you don’t like what I did was was a super elaborate version of that and yet there’s ways to pay attention in minor ways every single you all the time and so I try to make ordinary time with her you know beautiful and sacred and in treat her like a goddess even if I’m wash will just washing dishes you know like make that a ritual washing dishes so the dishes are done so we can go to the bedroom and we can fuck you know it’s like let’s let’s make washing dishes a ritual let’s make washing dishes set let’s make washing dishes away press to get that out of the way so we have space in our lives and two to pay attention to each other and dropped into a space of Sacred Love and that does not require you going to the jungles I just requires the shift in in your perspective I love it seems like there’s always going to need to be some ratio of people who have had the deeper immersive experiences in the classical traditional timeshare temples and then bring that back and you know it’s like everybody’s not going to be a shaman but we need to have a sweet spot kind of ratio so thank you for having that experience I’m certainly some point wanting wanting to to be one of those folks who can have a deeper experiences and then transmit them and translate them into a more modern contact so so yeah thanks for that clarification and and that makes a lot of sense so so yeah what would what was your next step word some building the confidence not only to please your own lovers but to teach bring this magic and medicine and and then skill sets to Two Men and develop more of a practice of your own let me guess it was very important to me because I went through his program it’s a whole new program that was videos as you know cuz you’re in the videos but so there’s a lot more aid for teaching men and I’m running man through this program I now that I found this in again when I was part of the pickup seen and he was at some some he was speaking at one of them I don’t remember how I ran into him but then I kept running into him like every single week I would go to event and they were all different events that when was The Burning Man event and when was it Astro van with a pick up a bed and was like who is this guy Destin I should call him and talk to him and I went through his program and I became multi-orgasmic so it was like wow I read that might actually work and all of that and it didn’t work but Justin’s program work and now I’m not like a coach like now I am authorized to teach his two other men because he really breaks it down he went through 6 logical Body Works which I actually also went through that trade-in so I see where it comes from I see the roots for it I see why it works and how it works and the bottom line is it works it’s like you can take a man run him through this step by step program in at the end he he’s pretty much has control over his orgasm and it worked for me and it’s working for the men that are going to the program I know it works I mean he’s done it with hundreds and hundreds of men so that was one official training I got and then and another training I got is was why is blueprints with shock yeah I mean that I learned about Jaya Jaya to Destin one of his podcast actually I had seen joy around I seen her she used to promote our books at different events different sexual advance and I would see Jai I kept seeing her also but then I was listening to an interview that just ended with her where she was talking about what she called The Erotic Blueprints and I was in another relationship where I was bringing all my Tantra training in my you know I gazing into this relationship and I thought it was great you know I was having orgasm but the woman wasn’t and I thought well am I what’s wrong and then just kind of said there’s Blueprints and I’m unenergetic like that’s why I love this time. I happen to be an energetic and I can I can really tap into that and I can have these incredible experiences but not everybody is an energetic and then she said then there’s a sensual there’s a sexual there’s a kinky and there’s a shapeshifter and I realized while the woman that I was with was very sexual and I’m sexual also but it was not my primary blueprint so I was speaking to her as an energetic like expecting her to have the same kind of contract experiences but she wasn’t a wire that way and and then sometimes she would just like to just want to like you just want to fuck and I was like what I want to connect first one I gave you like really just want to go there right away so now I’m learning to speak the other person’s language and understand my own language and the woman I’m with now super super sensual that’s why she loved that couch I get because it was all about taste and smell and sound with all the senses so that really turned wrong because of who you was designed to be a sensual experience we’re all over essential were lit up and I know how to I know how to speak the language of a sensual and one of them is example making sure for a sensual if things are out of place if dishes are done at the house is dirty she can’t drop into her body she can’t really experience orgasm so for me clean up the houses is for play because that’s what my that’s what my partner wants she wants all that stuff out of her head because the sensual will get into their head start worrying about stuff and then you know of a few years down the line the partnership is not working out they’re not understanding why they’re not there there they both think they’re having sex but when is having one is not getting their energetic fed and the others not getting their Central fat or their sexual fat so learning the blueprints was like to learn that I was in energetic like blew me away because then I realized it is a thing in that it’s not weird to have these orgasmic experience is just looking into someone’s eyes but it’s also know it may not be the way another person the person I’m with name me not experience it the same way and I can’t force them to have that experience I appreciate that work that was done. Can you say kind of from your training and where you work with her and Emma studies of for blueprint I’m not aware of the podcast before I don’t have it on the top of my head, the backstory of how how she would describe the the process of discovering these beasts different patterns do could you say something to what what to your your recollection is like her kind of backstory around that if if you would let me hear backstory things I mean her backstory she was also sexological bodyworker which is we all have in common me giant Destin we’ve all been trained by the same teacher Joseph Kramer and sexological Body Works and child learn after hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of hours working with couples that there was different couples were turned on by different touch like the man might be turned on by certain kind of touch and the woman might be turned on by a different kind of touch and they weren’t the same so the man expected the woman to respond the way he was responding and then just started to break it down and realized that a sensual is turned on by a completely different sort of touch than the sexual is and they’re actually if you want to know what your blueprint is if you go on my website you can take your who is there is emails that you’ll get I will explain all the blueprints so my website is in-body awakening.com which is e m p o d y m body which is hard to spell under the dash awakening.com hopefully you’ll have this written somewhere so it’s a for sure that’ll be on the Awakening., there’s a quiz on the bottom you can take the quiz for free and then you’ll get emails that looks plain all of them it’ll tell you what your blueprint is and then you’ll get emails at hotel look at 5 different emails that will explain the is the superpower of each blueprint and the shadow side of each have a shadow site to find that out and then again yeah go on the website take the quiz and then you can book a session with me and I can talk about how how you can implement this in your sex life because the blueprints is just one part of my program cool alright well thank you for sharing that and also I think it’s a great point to make that people who have been in this field in this movement and its industry and have done that level of work a game that sense of Mastery and then these emergent properties of being able to distill these kind of macro counter and that’s where that that wisdom and in comes from is that that richness of experience so I appreciate your hearing about that and I know there’s a number of other systems that people have developed to categorize various kind of powder and sand and styles of relating and there’s love languages that you know all kinds of different different metrics and tools that have been developed to kind of self analyze and solve correct and in in an ad so glad that there is more of the sexual and Amore essential systems that are being developed and so yes and then after that now where does that where does that bring us to within in your historical chronological timeline are we getting close to where you’re at now or where was there more happening before we get to the present but no car now what your you can go into the details of the the rock your cock program it sounds like it’s probably drawing on all the influences but that I don’t want to skip over anything before we get there so yeah what where where else what else do we need to cover it to get to the present read marriage I started to want something else got involved in the pickup scene from their got involved in Contra through Sachi on and then became a hypnotist it so it is it’s not like this happen overnight is was 10 years and then you know traveling with Sachi on and seeing these shamanic having the shamanic experience has started to open me up to this other world of that as an energetic at first I would have been like so skeptical because that’s that’s what the shadow of the energetic is it’s like because I was an energetic I was denying that there could possibly be everything have to have a scientific explanation and everything we was bullshit and Kippy and you know I’m coming from the punk background you know those hippies like I had but that was my shadow side because I was actually completely once once I got opened up and started to experience things myself it was like boom I’m in energetic I can feel energy I could I actually have these experiences that I can’t really describe in that not everyone has to believe know if they don’t believe it that’s fine I’m not going to try to convince anyone all I know is I’ve had some incredible experiences so so it was from pick up Tantra hypnosis and then then starting to find the teacher including traveling to Canada traveling to India going to Peru having different a Mexico having different experiences and I think my primary influences then became Destin enjoy shampoo mentored me and taught me their system the system of sexual self-mastery for men so men can become multi-orgasmic and the the blueprints which is like the love languages for the bedroom and what’s nice about it is I can teach this it’s like this is exactly what the pick up pick up Community says I could break it down I could teach it plus I had hypnosis to it so like a high anchor in so you remember the stuff and in fact I’m filming a whole I’m feeling a whole Erotic Hypnosis thing in the middle of filming at we have it work where I put my partner and she’s never even done it before on film where she becomes she has these just from listening going into hypnosis you basically has hypnotics orgasms and I put her on the bed in a hypnotic BDSM session I teach you guys how to do this so this is my own stuff that I’m adding offering a lot it’s like 10 years of all of these different trainings come together into my one Rodger cock I survived that sounds great siding and I can’t I’m jealous that you that you got such a great name for it I got it how did I how did that slip by me all this time you noticed it’s funny it’s funny cuz originally and have more of like a mask you act like I was masculine and Power Man in and he’s kind of names and I just said no fuck it rocks your cock cuz that’s what men want you know even though I’m teaching them spirituality and all this other stuff that’s not going to get them excited rock your cock it’s like yeah because that’s the end result I’m offering the end result rock your cock and that means more than just about getting your cock it’s not about getting your cock hard it’s about showing up as a man in his masculine energy and it is feminine so it’s like I’m being done being sneaky cuz I’m also teaching men to be in their feminine to to be in their heart but not going to get him in the door you know what gets him in the door is it’s about your cock about being a man and it’s about showing up in that way but in order to do that you need to embrace your family and you need to be able to have have experiences trance-like experiences which again you can do through breathing which I teach to help self hypnosis so but yeah the name your cock cuz that’s the end result income for the Shiva and you stay for the shock to you no thank God it’s it’s it’s Punk is Rock You Know rocks you rock it you know it’s it’s about showing up in in in in playing her instrument and just playing it however the fuck you want to you know you don’t have to go and take formal lessons in in school you just you just rock it because it’s natural I love that you. That’s it what’s the point right to get to where things flow naturally and you’re not fighting anything and you’re not having to count all people who are more than the more I guess you could say the the less edgy the less sexual the less explicit but the more kind of family-friendly Orthodox Temple Tantra experiences are going to be a lot of ritual as an end in techniques and tools that that are about you counting beads and Counting chance and getting using all of these Scott all the scaffolding and all of these handrails sort of to build the capacity to have full attention in your body and then eventually you are less reliant on on those techniques and it just you just like a martial artist it’s just there when you need it and you just keep time keeping that refresh so yeah I love that idea that I think we’re kind of stripping away layers of domestication we’re getting back back to a more and body Primal state where it wasn’t we weren’t overcoming so many neurotic not than patterns and things in and it would just be a more natural more that’s also the punk rock thing you know I would say as well as they shed this formalities boxes the first module of my program because it got to clear our our modern the roses and there are blocked because it’s like the about stuff like I don’t believe that any of these you can learn sexual techniques but until you get that’s why it’s modular like I teach Advanced sex techniques but I don’t teach that until you get past your blocks and learn how to be present to your body and your breathing and then again you don’t need to do all the fancy he learn Sanskrit stuff all you need to do is learn how to breathe and feel your body I’m stripping it down I’m I’m not I’m getting rid of all the do you know the esoteric because I know not again not everybody’s an energetic I want everybody to be able to relate to my program so I guess I’m not it’s not part of my even though I did all that stuff I’m not going to teach anyone how to chant in Sanskrit I’m going to teach a man how to breathe into their body so they can feel where they have tension in their body and where they can open up and start feeling their emotions thank you again for everything I think we’re about a good point to wrap up if you want to share some final words of advice final insides and then again where people can go to find your work yeah well my website again I already said it is in body – awakening.com and are they can take the quiz for free and then if you want it there to sign up for a session and when our strategy session where we can talk about how we can use the blueprints and how I can work with men specifically and I would put Township punk in the comments because I think that your audience is in particular audience and I would work with the men that come from this podcast different than men that come from another podcast so I would create an individual program although my I have a module program this whole setup is I would modify it according to my listeners and have a one-hour session with them so that’s embody – awakening.com take the quiz and sign up for a strategy session with me awesome well thank you so much man has been a pleasure to talk shop with you and I’ll still be able to have that a resident so I think sometimes people can lose a grounding this and that sort of bullshit detectors at the punk rock movement I think gives us a very good protector and I can tell that you’re upgrading from that place if a healthy skepticism in and also but open-mindedness to and avoiding Dogma avoiding too much too many rules and in too many I don’t think I don’t think you’re going to fall into the style of a cult leader or become a cult leader yourself in a in a bad way so thank you for your offer doing all that work you’re doing and for glad we got to have this conversation and we will be publishing this in the next couple weeks or so getting through a backlog of a previous guess that’s what I will send you the link and we will hopefully be able to talk more again in the future all right right on cool alright well thanks so much again and have a great day thank you. Country Park. Calm and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and improving the podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple viper bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com Damas de

Sexorcism the Tantric Opera Episode 12 “Chakral Thrusts: A Non-Invasive Demonectomy”

This video documents an assisted kundalini shakti activation whereby the upward spiraling energy effectively dislodges and squeezes demonic chakral parasites up and out through the central channel nadi without the need for penetration.

Sexorcism the Tantric Opera Episode 08 “The Politics of Yoni Worship”

Let the women lead
Worship their Yonis

It’s time for you to relinquish your crown
Your warriors must gracefully stand down
5,000 years of patriarchal rule
Make way for divine feminine renewal

Brothers now hear me
Let the women lead
Get down on your knees
Bow at their feet

Empires are infested with evil
Demonic realm disguised as your top people
You’ll be tied down for shamanic exorcism
You’ll surrender all your power back to women

Put down your war toys
Be men, not small boys
Learn to love like Gods
Violence must be stopped

Kai Karrel: The Karate Kid of Tantra TPP58

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Kai Karrel PicIn this episode I have the exquisite joy of talking with one of the most endearing modern tantrikas. Kai Karrel shares his cinematic story of initiation into traditional authentic tantric practice in India as a teenager. We then discuss his ego-dissolving and heart melting practice of leading puja rituals for modern seekers, followed by a critical exploration of masculinity, sexual healing, and shamanism.
Please access Kai’s offerings by visiting his website:
http://www.kaikarrel.com

About Kai:
Kai Karrel is writer, a poet, a mystic and a spiritual adventurer. He is a mystical traveler devoted to the exploration of the unknowable. He travels among native traditions and ancient cultures. In a way he considers himself a traditional light warrior, using the lighter side of his teaching to inspire spiritual growth and self-love. After over 20 years of deep study and devotion to walking a spiritual path, living in ashrams and learning from numerous teachers and guides, the emerging pattern that Kai has devoted his life to sharing, is that truth is a pathless land and that a true mystical experience lies in full acceptance and radical self inquiry. His teachings reflect a deep commitment to freedom and truth, the search for one single experience – falling in love with one’s self.

AI Generated Transcription:
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello there by lovense welcome to time for fun podcast episode number 58 I am doing interview with Kai Corral today and I’ll just a little bit I got to experience his goddess invocation goddess Federation weather in La a while back and I had heard about his work from the Laurie handlers Country Cafe podcast in was so intrigued because I felt like I’d really wanted to experience more authentic lineage based Puja ritual after so many kind of fun just you know what I just said it politely just kind of the more Neo Tantra experiences that we’re lacking that sensor a real identity and so to experience the goddess adoration project and all its glory and get the full background of the story behind it is just the most hurting melting experience ever and I just been it’s got to be the next you know High School prom evolve into this experience so without further Ado Kai would you please tell us your beautiful spiritual by story adventure and give us lots of details about your initiation in India please thank you for inviting me and not having me sockets I’m you know it’s funny because I’ve LEDs I don’t know maybe four hundred and something of these puchis all over the over the world even in Bernie and I told the story almost every single time and it’s so for me I always think maybe maybe you know it’s enough I don’t have to tell the story again or if I always think it’s kind of long you’ll see so I always wonder but then people like you like no I like this is such a good story tall order but you know what I just before I go into that I just want to say that countries you know has been defined in so many different ways and there’s so many teachers there so many past or so many books in scripture is in definitely in the west most of us to relate the word Tantra to sexuality in the police into miss your relationships and when I started my journey which is 20 plus something years ago I there were not so many books about that or else I was in Israel israeli-born it wasn’t you know you wouldn’t be able to just Google it or it wasn’t something so common and I actually came to Tantra for my Buddhist perspective what is Tantra and the different different daily practices and before that also I was practicing Hari Krishna help for a short. Of time but don’t know what I want to say or was important in you know when when today people ask me what is my opinion and I can’t expand the way I can offer offer what I do to not be so Tantra focus on specific and mostly because of the fact that I feel for most people what they want when they hear the word tundra is more sick sexual education for me if you ask me I have to Define clench I would say that it’s a path for falling in love with yourself that’s first and foremost an interesting Lee enough in the exact same moment that you fall in love with yourself you realize that you have fallen in love with divinity and you have fall in love with everyone around you that are there that quality in you. Just changed so when I started my journey I have actually I ate a friend of mine told me about this place and basically told me that it’s a very strict Tantra experience so I was very intrigued went to see the I talked to a couple people that were there and realize that I need to wait a couple more months until they will have a balance between men and women and by the way I feel free to stop me and ask for a drone whatever flavors and then eventually I got to I got to the to the ashram in after waiting a little bit so we started the process now they waited until there is a equal number of men and women and I think we were 12 altogether and just as a side note important to note that all teachers in specifically. Place for women there were a couple of minutes were more like janitors and cleaners and you know technical people but the teacher is holding of their lineage and holding of wisdom or women and we started with an initiation and opening ceremony where men were sitting in one side women were sitting on the other side and the asked that there is it’s cold in selection process so the teachers did the keys which the word that he needs her in its original form is Sky Dancer or or a deeper meaning to bring Heaven to Earth and Earth to heaven so the teachers are bikinis came in and I think there were 16 maybe and they were all all beautifully dressed with sarees and lots of jewelry really really beautiful and I was there when I was I think 17 or a little bit before even so obviously and I was a kid. Agent looking for the most attractive one because I want you know I’m hoping that she’ll be my teacher and train me in and then one of them comes up and she says she turns to this old lady that was sitting in the back of the room that I haven’t even noticed before and she says Sharma you are the eldest so you have the first thing and she was sitting there and she was knitting or doing something with her hands and she just put it down and she walked straight at me and she said him and went back to the back of the room and I’m like oh my God I was so disappointed and I can’t believe it. I didn’t even see her and then they kept on selecting everyone so the first stage is that half of the bikinis select the men that they want to work with and then the same one is supposed to select the woman that she was going to be your practice partner for the rest of the of the time so I guess they say the same thing shark when you have you know you’re the eldest you have first pick so I’m looking around and you know have you ever had that you left a walk in an elevator or Sia someone that you are so attracted to that they’re so beautiful that you just kind of weird you don’t know really eat with your jaw drops and you don’t really know what to say so there was one girl like that in the room and I was like please please I was kind of praying to God and God gave me. So please please give me this and Sharma walk straight to that girl and she says her I couldn’t believe it I’m like yeah thank God it’s like finally I’m so happy and then after the whole selection process is over they say a few more Montrose and there’s a little bit a little bit more explanation but the main thing that was explained to us is that the only person that we actually don’t get to practice with a tall is the person that was selected for us at the only interaction with that person is the final final test stock was so devastated collected this is a joke that you can be so from that moment on basically we were taught how to first of all there is a lot of scripture study that’s a very big part a lot of muncher recitation a lot of different scriptures in a lot of different ceremonies but in terms of relating between men and women there’s really a vast you know body of knowledge that you’re learning about the other gender and how to relate to them in different forms to say that this is not necessarily an erotic or a romantic relationship to my mail to a woman but in all forms so did they teach you how to interact with your mom with your girlfriend with your grandma with you know in any basically any form of male-female interaction so the majority of the practices are divided into erotic and non-erotic and it’s amazing because really kind of has researched every type of interaction or or verbal connection to possibly can be an example of the few things that we’ve been learning how to feed a woman how to dress a woman how to bathe a woman how to draw a woman after bathing at all these forms has their erotica non-erotic forms for example example that they often give us about feeding that you can feed a person sitting in front of you erotic lien on erotically so for example and you know you don’t see me right now let’s all try to describe shirtless they were at a sushi restaurant if I want to see the person in front of my grandma which means if the nun erotic connection I’m going to take the sushi take the Chopstick and lifted straight up and put it into her mouth that’s a non-erotic feeding and if I want to feed my wife my partner I’m going to take the same Chopsticks lift the sushi in just before coming to her mouth I will turn it a hundred and eighty degrees and put it in her into her mouth so you that’s what how why is this erotic they’re both eventually getting the same place the one with the twist interesting enough when I signal that or the subconscious of the person in front I’m doing the string motion depressant person in front of me is going to slightly tilt their head which If you experience. Barfield what happens in the body there’s this openness to happens with it I would use it with submission but not in a negative connotation you’re not very beautiful open receptive kind of interaction so throughout the year we would learn this but I want to add one very important part in that is Sharma that the person that I got to study with is probably one of the Nina and smiling unfriendly teachers I’ve ever had and I just didn’t understand why she hates me so much and she would constantly tell me you should leave this is not for you just just give up now what would happen if we learn something and I would see our most interesting to say that I would see other people in the ashram and they would be walking hand-in-hand with their dakini in if they would make a mistake that there would you say no no no you just say it like that or you arrange the ceremony like this and she doesn’t tell me what was wrong how to fix it nothing just got close to the end we holds with gold a chamarra tomorrow is at tail of a monkey on a metal stick and you go above your head and cannot whiskey a bit of are the person in front of you cuz there’s a certain angle that you’re supposed to do that with your wrists I think the day she taught me how to do this so she shows me once and like you know so fast like I can’t even understand what you just did and then tells me now you so I take it and I do it but I do it’s wrong and I kept on going I don’t know maybe for two hours in my arms worth her the issues not telling me how to fix that you just and it drove me crazy it drove me crazy you know I have to say almost left like three or four times that I just felt you know this ridiculous she’s not she just hates me and I don’t understand what I did wrong why am I being punished like this but the interesting thing is was it I kept asking her by the way this whole experience teaches you how to hold pooches when specifically a goddess pujan that’s what you experience with me which is a adoration to women adoration actually to the opposite and actually there are Hindus listening to this podcast they probably they’re very familiar with poo just that you do to JT’s to Ganesh to to Lakshmi and it’s interesting because actually they’re they’re quite many that know these that God has put us in touch with experience but often they don’t really so what it is it the exact same adoration serve service or ceremony for Pooja that we do in India for the date he’s just instead of a statute we have a real life person sitting in front of us so one of the things that they kept asking for his charmant when will I be ready how do I know that I’m ready when she would always say the same thing when you look at your partner and see God and I just said I don’t think that’s ever going to happen it’s just you know I don’t feel it so why are you here or just leave you know what country is about. If you’re not stuck. You’re not not what you’re after just not going to happen leave and I was so stubborn you know what if this is the last thing I do I will prove this to this woman that I can actually do it so process kept on going and then finally and I’m I’m skipping a lot of the teachings of course there is you know so many different things that we’ve learned throughout that time but eventually you get to a point where she comes to me one day and she says okay tomorrow morning you were going to perform the morning ritual that leads to do your final test the goddess Pooja and I was so shocking like what really and actually is a funny thing is that I said it to her I said I’m not ready so then what you mean you’re not there I don’t think I can see God in the person in front of me and she said well if you’re right I don’t care what you think I’m not it’s not that I’m not asking you if you want to do it this happening tomorrow morning so what happens if the first stage of the ceremony and we don’t do it until I got to squeeze you that they facilitate but India in the first process is called the bathing ceremony and you take the first into the river and you need to bathe them and they’re wearing very sick sorry so they’re not naked and your bathing them in think 8 or 12 different liquids there is yogurt honey orange juice apple juice coconut water a few different things and each time you’re there so many mattress that you say in any cover them with the strength liquid and then you take that you how you were holding this huge konshen you taking the liquid and covering them and then water and washing it off and then honey which took forever and then washing it off there’s a whole process of adoring the person in front of you is if there are God and relating to that and of course every every one of these elements have its meaning and very special invocation that while this is happening both of the Kings the king of that was teaching me in a dakini The Toasted teaching her are sitting at the bank of the river looking at me do this and looking for me to make mistakes is wrong and I needed to stop I’ll say stop but if I say if you did a mistake with you should continue but she treated me like a pavlovian dog you know it’s kind of like okay I hear that sound in a stop so that alone was really really challenging for me because of course she did it there were like three moves but anyway I’m really nervous these two women or kind of needing to give me the okay but I also have to save the first time since I didn’t tell you earlier than actually doing this with that incredibly beautiful woman and she’s in the water in I first signed up and she’s smiling she’s gorgeous and this whole experience in and it it was the feeling was a time you know what the clumsy guy in the water in the three women are just making fun of me so that’s completed in an hour and a half and then the next day she puts her foot on a rock and you Tire anklet imagine my hands are filled with honey and yogurt and all the different things so to put you know even regularly just do you know you by your girlfriend anklet or a bracelet she asked you to put it on and it’s like this tiny little thing that you need to open a time like with all my hands filled with liquids and trying to do that and they’re just laughing at me so again there is a mantra for that you put that one and then the bracelet and then I think that’s a beautiful things actually usually put on weddings because one of the ideas of the wedding between the Divine masculine and divine feminine. Between the participants but the symbology behind it and so that is complete a few closing Montrose and then she walks away so I go to Sharman basically she needs to tell me if I passed or not and interesting lie when the other the king and the woman were walking away I could see that the other the king is very serious and her face I’m like oh no I probably failed and then I look to Charmaine she looks at me and she never smile so she she wouldn’t you know her face didn’t really changed but she says let’s chance to Durga and I’m sitting there like tell me if I passed or not I’m already so nervous and after I know maybe 15 minutes of chanting says okay go take a shower and prepare and I prepare for what so what do you need for watch for the guy but you know okay so excited running to the house and that also means not only that they need to take a shower and prepare and change what I’m wearing but also go to the temple and prepare the actual Pooja get the flowers in different items that are on a plate when they’re official yeah I remember you mentioned this at one point in the when you’re telling a story that you said something about like you said like it’s time we take 5 showers with you cuz you just mention the shower if I didn’t ask you then what exactly that meant but it was I was curious so I just taking a shower the one of the things that this in. Specific from a direct I’ve seen you in a few different places they idea that you take five different showers throughout the day we’re presenting a different different expressions of difference demigods hygiene and mental physical and emotional cleanliness is very very important part of the practice so you kind of divide your day in terms of what you were doing in the practices to which shower of the day that is I think after I finished was time for a second so I run I prepare the the temple everything everything is ready and looks good and I sit there and await Ivan I’m waiting for them in at the same time that I had mine there was another guy that’s actually a Hindi guy Hindu guy that had his centrifuge kind of test the same time so he brought his whole family and I’m sitting there waiting and invited by the way I’ll just mention that’s my parents throughout my whole process and I actually after that are from a joint another option for 13 and 1/2 years throughout my entire Journey my parents were not very supportive of my spiritual journey I was supposed to be a web developer where a lawyer Reno something like that so I was kind of and I’m sitting there looking at the plate and then suddenly Sharma comes in and the other The Keeney into my my partner came in and all all three of them looked incredibly beautiful I was really really amazed and my partner comes and she’s incredibly beautiful red sorry she was just stunning like I couldn’t believe but I have to say one thing before I went into this whole Pooja that night I had a really really sad feeling because I knew that I’m going to sit in front of my partner and I’m not going to see God I in a way I felt that I feel that that’s what I was there for and what I was taught did you know that the Perfection within deal with Tantra is it’s not going to happen I am just a regular guy sitting in front of a very attractive woman I see a very attractive woman I feel my my cash in my excitement no I don’t really feel Divinity where she got in that experience so I remember that the fourth shower that they took before coming and I really thought to myself wow Sharma finally found a way to get rid of me so you know she’ll do the thing I’ll pass and then I leave but it didn’t work and I was really really sad it was actually went into this whole experience excited but also mostly depressed and sad that’s okay I’m this is going to be over and I blew it so I sit there and then my partner sitting in front of me and I look at that played when they realized that I forgot the incense I had everything else that fire the conscious to water everything was there chocolate but I missed the instance so what I’m supposed to do is to go to Sharm until I’m sorry making a mistake but I saw that they fell do that you’ll probably tell me okay so let’s start all over tomorrow and basically it blew it blew it so I’m looking around and I knew that I can ask from the Hindi because he is not going to help me but I was looking around and finally a thought I saw that there’s a pack of incense on the main altar I think to myself how can I steal this instance and have it for me without without getting caught because you know you’re probably like it’s the worst Karma you can possibly happen and then the rest in that is that if I get caught by her that’s even worse so I had this lady I’m going to go to the Altar and I’m going to like make the show that’s like I’m the most emotional person in the world and just fell down on the floor and stand up and down down and I did that for like 10 minutes and I was all sweating and I saw Sharma Luke against me in the first like 3 minutes like what is he doing but you know they can tell you anything lotion to God in the floor frame so I did that for like 10 minutes and also the other guys waiting so everyone is like his whole family is happening so finally left over so I go back to my seat and put it down kind of Hope okay no one noticed actually did Hindi guy notice and he’s like looks looks like oh my God. Anyways same thing Sharma tells me if I go you continue only if I say stop you stop now what’s my partner were sitting in front of me is West I can’t even tell you my heart’s was literally outside of my body like pounding I was so excited I was so thrilled but I did not see God I saw an incredibly attractive woman that I was so attracted to him so happy and she’s smiling and and then we start the ceremony and I’m saying the mantras and I do actually almost everything was really really you know according to the book perfect and the incense and fire in tears and watering the same process that you you’ve experienced Hindi I finished like in 10 minutes I kept on going cuz and everything took me a little longer and then the last and the last thing as you get them a gift and do they give you a gift and then blew the Conch to ceremonies over and she walked away and then again I go to Sharma and well did I pass last chance is Oregon so another 50 minutes of like nerve-racking and I’m sitting there but in my mind I keep thinking while she’s just you know even if I did pass I actually failed and I really felt so sad I’m going to go out I felt spiritually like a complete failure and also they waited all this time because you know okay so I learned all of this but nothing real like nothing of substance actually came out of this practice so shatter with 15 minutes of chanting she says okay go take your last shower and go to visit her in her room we’re basically you know we are adults we can do whatever we want some you know again excited but also very sad so I go I actually I said I said Sharma but I feel they didn’t really see God she said I don’t care you have to do what I’m telling you so go now so I went I change my clothes I was so sweaty took a shower and went knocked at the door and the first time actually when I knocked at the door and she said come in at the first time I heard her voice so that the entire year I was strictly supposed to stay away from her so I walk in and she’s sitting there on her bed and she wore this incredibly beautiful yellow dress and I sat next to her and we held hands and we just looked into each other’s eyes for I can’t even tell you how long but something very peculiar happened in that moment I went in knowing that I’m going to see the same person that’s woman that I’ve been practicing with and as I was sitting there I looked into her face and I saw God and everything changed and interesting thing happen is if we both fell asleep you probably ideas for I don’t know how long we didn’t say a word we both fell asleep woke up in the morning with a little bit and then we together we went to breakfast and Sharma was over you there and she looks at my face and I didn’t say a word and it’s the first time that she actually laughed out loud at you said you see I knew it’s going to work and I was so blown away because it was not expected this was not so not what I thought was going to happen and then we were there for a couple of months doing a few more practices and actually think of how many people ask me but we’re all the sexual practices and all that so when I asked my bikini when asked, what about the physical things in there you know sexual practices in Kamasutra I know that she said well if you do all the practices that they told you if you focus on communication creativity if you focus on listening you do the if you follow the art of adoration like you were thoughts and sexual just work perfectly a very different perspective now obviously know a part of the teaching and country is is different sexual connective and intimacy collection practices but it’s important for me to say that when you study classic country do you’ll realize that the sexuality piece of something like 10% for me to tell you that when you take your car to the garage car fixing is all about changing the tires you laugh at me because there’s so many other things that need to be fixed in a car it’s for the car to move it’s not just the tire yourself other things so that’s the ratio sex is an important piece of course to intimacy and relationships but it’s only a piece there so many other things have to fall into place anyways after after that those couple few more months we had to do was called the closing ceremony the point where I

 

Seeking the Heart of Tantra with Nirmala Nataraj TPP57

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Nirmala pic In this episode I am joined by Nirmala Nataraj. I discovered her great works in a search for a teaching on the symbology within the Kali Yantra and found her article.

She has graciously blessed the podcast by sharing her story of personal transformation through Tantra and Goddess Kali worship. She holds sacred space for me to share some of my revelations and research and generously provides validation of and guidance for many of my most controversial discoveries.

Together we weave a mutually affirming narrative of personal healing and spiritual growth through our devotion to Kali. We emphasize the need for preparation, care, and caution when approaching her might and magic. We also encourage listeners to find supportive fellowship as they rediscover and reinvent Kali’s vast primordial irrepressible nature.

Nirmala shares a description of the Kali Yantra and conducts a devotional guided meditation using the Yantra.

We close with a brief discussion on sexual healing and empowerment through tantra and she offers some great advice for individuals and couples to break through repressive cultural conditioning and reclaim the power and beauty of sacred love making.

Please connect with Nirmala and access her services via her websites:
http://sacredfirecoaching.com/
http://nirmalanataraj.com/

About Nirmala:

I’m Nirmala Nataraj, a San Francisco Bay Area-based Desire Guru and Taboo Slayer (and you can find me at my day job here)!

Sacred Fire Desire Coaching is my way of connecting directly with those who want to embody their truth. My wish to expand people’s repertoire of tools and resources through creative problem-solving is paramount in my approach. I especially love to work with people to clear some of the obstacles that keep them from expressing their deepest truths—obstacles such as shame, past experiences of trauma, and the inability to embrace and integrate every last part of themselves.

For me, healing is something that happens when we are willing to wrestle our demons…and then become their friends (which also happens to be a recurring theme in my writing). I’m also interested in inspiring my clients to view relationships, intimacy, and sexuality as viable and rigorous paths to personal development and purpose.

My training background includes the OneTaste Coaching Program, the Co-Active Coach Training Program, and the Bay Area Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Immersion Program.

AI Generated Transcription:
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear love his phone cover Township podcast episode number 57 I’m here with nirmala and we’re going to talk about goddess Kali and all of the beautiful magnificent ways that she’s entered our lives and given Direction and guidance and some of the Practical applications that we can all use to access her love and medicine and then we were just talking briefly about how apt it is that she was recently featured on the Empire State Building projected during a an endangered species slideshow production that that occurred and then at one of the Visionary artist Android Jones had a slide in there which is a beautiful collie face rendition and caused a bit of an uproar as you’d expect this is sort of a starting point to talk about this her she’s being called forth now to help us and if you don’t believe that you can look up the pictures didn’t see that you know it’s like the Batman signal or something so anyway that was my little brief intro and I normally would you please say thank you for joining us and please tell us about your background and in your path where to start my so first of all I I work I work pretty heavily with just what I consider the energy of desire and being somebody who’s been on a non dualistic tantrik pot for as long as I can remember and I grew up in a traditional Hindu household and both of my parents are from India and I was raised here so a lot of my own path has been about bridging cultural differences and really diving into the energy of what I see as the collective Shadow and for me desire is something that is really capable of helping us to heal from that split that we tend to have between masculine and feminine Darkness and Light and and I think that Kali is a really as it’s kind of emblematic of what it could look like when those when those pictures are heel and when the split is healed and we and we stopped being in conflict with ourselves and and so a lot of the work that I do is around healing our healing our connection with our sexuality healing our connection desire and my website is sacred fire coaching.com because because I do believe that our desire is the sacred fire that lives within us and it’s our responsibility as incarnate beings 210 that fire so that’s a little bit about 10 of the work that I do and I can talk a little bit more about that later but insurance if my own path I would I would say that it’s it actually comes from pretty ancient lineage and my family is from South India and there’s a long line of country cuz in the area both of my parents are from a lot of Hindu Tantra practice today can be found in South India and a lot of these practices are related to the 10 wisdom goddesses who are known as the Mojave Diaz and they’re very prevalent in a lot of different forms of Tantra and Kali is one of them so these goddesses are revered in South India and by far the most strongly maintain tan tradition in South India is his status Street as yet and she is Supreme goddess and a lot of practitioners in the street of your tradition including people in my family tends to be married householders and often there’s a family tradition of practice but being a woman is South Asian descent who was raised and the West I grew up in California back to Tantra has been its it happened been as direct it hasn’t been a part of this unbroken lineage and in fact I would say that that Tantra is still something that in in India in a lot of traditional Hindu family it’s really still seen as kind of a a dark path and there are still a lot of just as misunderstandings about Tantra abounds in the West on there’s a lot of misunderstanding about Tantra in the East and I think a lot of that comes from just you know Colonial attitude two words the way that the body and sexuality and certain spiritual practices were four kind of conveyed so a lot of I would say that a lot of Hindus in a lot of Indian people in general have kind of internalized those attitudes so so like I said before my path back to Tantra has a lot to do with my own exploration of desire and sexuality and desire and sexuality as a rigorous spiritual so I’ve always been interested in sex and sexuality and actually since I was very very young back when nobody in my family talks about it and if the same time because I I grew up in a household where devotion Devotion to god and goddess were really kind of a part of our daily existence I I was always in an environment that was very overly spiritual actually one of my earliest I wanted to be a nun and I wasn’t Christian nobody in my family was Christian but I remember just reading about female nuns and Mystics and being so drawn to this idea of devoting myself body and soul to God so I have always been on a path that I’ve considered devotional and that I’ve considered a path of surrender and that gradually grew into a worship of the dark goddess and all of her forms as mahakali as inanna Ishtar as as the Virgin of Guadalupe and that was actually really connected to my own discovery of feminism and goddess worship as a way of bringing the salmon in back into spiritual practices so so over time I was really interested in how the dark goddess encourages us to dissolve our boundaries between the sacred and the profane and I think that that’s what led me to Tantra and in addition a lot of my former work I used to be a Rape Crisis counselor and so I’ve worked with a lot of women who have felt just generally wounded and disconnected from their own essential sexuality and sensuality and a lot of my work has been without healing. Chasm and I for me working with collie and working with different forms of the dark goddess has been immensely healing I I really can’t even put that into words and end this this really comes from my own experience of how many women and it isn’t just women it’s also none how many of us have been wounded by a pervasive cultural attitudes about sex and sexuality and the sex is an extremely powerful force and the time because I knew this and they know it and and they work with it and incredible and hoping ways but sex is also something that’s a power that can be misused and as women we we often use that power in ways that don’t serve us and we use it to to do things like we to make people fall in love with us for instance where to use sexuality as a weapon because in many ways text has been used as a weapon against us and very few of the women that I’ve ever met has have worked with their sexuality as a source of pleasure and is a source of achieving Union ecstatic Union with the Divine so that’s that’s been a really big interest of mine how do we how do we move towards sex and desire to do that and also another really important aspect is my pot that I kind of alluded to earlier is looking at this experience of being bicultural this experience of growing up in two completely different traditions and and Bridging the Gap because I do think that Eastern forms of thought like Tantra obviously we’re seeing them becoming more and more popular and more and more needed and the west and at the same time there’s there’s just been a lot of really interesting stuff that’s been happening in India in particular and other places where traditionally women haven’t held over positions of power and where there really is still a lot of suppression as far as sexuality goes it’s amazing that India’s this place where Tantra and the Kama Sutra came out of but at the same time there are still horrific attitudes towards women are still bride burning since honor killings and end public rate end so I think that we really we really need to come to an understanding that that Bridges the disconnect that exists and it and I think this isn’t just a disconnect that’s about east and west and our attitudes towards sexuality and body and spirituality it’s a deeper and deeper conflict that’s being healed and it’s a conflict that I think lives inside the human consciousness and that collie and got us have to have the profound power to really heal so so a lot of the work that I’m doing is that the dressing that dualistic split again you know between nature and civilization masculine light and dark and I’m really interested in accessing your life force which is it’s the erotic nstemi accessing the erotic it’s it’s a spiritual act it’s a political act on it’s what we can do to claim our freedom as creative beings and I’ve really seen magical things happen we can act without energy and I’ve seen that happen in my own life and just to give you a little bit more background about myself about 7 years ago or so I was in a marriage that was falling apart and everything looked great on the outside I have been with my partner for close to a decade and something was missing and I didn’t know exactly what and I felt so guilty that I can be in this marriage that where everything looks perfect on the outside but inside there was something essential that was missing that I couldn’t put a name to I’m so I buried that understanding three years and years and and finally at some point the entire relationship just kind of exploded and it was like goddess herself came into my life and and shown this Stark light on to everything that I had built and and I felt like I was falling apart and it was a revelation and it was very difficult for me at that time and I think it’s that way of guilt and shame this this sense of internal knowing that there’s something that’s missing and I look back on that time now and I know that what was missing was my sense of connection to pleasure and desire and two goddess really to the feminine I think that that weight of guilt and shame of wanting and longing for this thing that we don’t have words for it it keeps so many women from tapping into the full extent of who they are and they’re afraid to even admit to it so I would say that my my real talk begin with just acknowledging my desire technology that there was a desire that was not being mad and it was not being that in the context of that marriage so after that I I would stay the night I went on an odyssey that involved Tantra it involved doing some somatic therapy sexological Bodywork and seeing what has been frozen inside me and this experience with Awakening and another itself and I really wanted to share that with other women and so many of the women that I have worked with had really similar stories and another thing that I’ve discovered that’s been remarkable is that a lot of the women I’ve worked with have kind of come into their own relationship with goddess and we’re really finding you know we can’t we can’t divorce our sexuality from our sense of connection to God has for my sense of connection to the universe and to each other and I think that would have been recognizing the night I should say that I work primarily with women but I’ve also worked with men and I’m seeing this awareness and then also is that we are seeking to make our ecosystem harmonious we’re tired of being in conflict with ourselves and we want a sexuality and a spirituality and creativity and community that are all integrated where we don’t have to leave any part of ourselves out answer me with the work that I’ve done in Tantra and with my own practices that involves connecting with collie she she is that energy she is fat energy of you know what here’s this is this is who you are this is all of you take it all you know the good the bad the ugly the things that you perceived as beautiful things that you perceive is garbage and use it because it’s yours and that for me has really been the gift of working with Tantra and being on this path wow thank you so much I’m just like smiling like ramakrishna this whole time here he missed that one photo that’s like so ecstatic and blissed-out the love of the mother just is so intoxicating and yeah yeah this is so beautiful for me to hear especially the did you see at the intensity I mean I’ll tell you that a lot of the time for that I was exposed to four years didn’t go anywhere near Shadow work or collie and when it’s when she was finally you know various when she entered my life very forcefully but yet beautifully I realized how much well just started to scratch the surface of what was missing from the westernized you know hyper-sexualized Tantra that’s not really getting into the deep Shadow work so yeah I really appreciate just having you on this in this conversation and if you don’t mind before we get into the the yantra if I could just Explorer some of my questions for you about Kali and how how she can be accessed and what some of her roles are ya so like I said I was going to learning Township techniques and breathwork and eye gazing and meditation and chakras and Kundalini stuff and and and it was just sort of well divorced from Sedona and goddess worship and so you know the encountering of in the wind a true just to passionate Devotion to the goddess for how much love there is there in one set started to pour into my life and when you know female sort of priestesses were starting to enter my life to initiate me and connect me that way I started going on a frenzy of really studying this force of nature that’s beyond words really beyond the iconic symbol of her standing on Shiva really that’s just a map but it’s not the terrain the terrain of her flesh in her being in her dimensions are so vast you know they’re unspeakable and I’ve gotten deeper and deeper into exploring her boundlessness and I’m curious as SUV gun into your ritual practice of of worship how how would you describe visual experiences an emotional and embodiment experiences send just a sort of narrative Beyond iconography that you’ve experienced too kind of compare notes you know I’m saying about that for hours yeah it’s it’s I think there’s always kind of this interesting experience that that we have when we decide to devote ourselves to particular path or even to a particular deity there’s you know kind of navigating that c of contradictions that all of the stories all of the lore all of the imagery on the experiences you hear about other people having there’s all of that that’s kind of floating and the Consciousness and I think it’s particularly complicated with Kali because she’s she’s so she represents a paradigm that to me is about moving beyond Orthodox representation socially Downs ideas of what’s good are appropriate so in some ways she’s she’s she’s really hard to represent and you know I’m constantly reading descriptions of Kali at that I that I think are grossly mistaken and I just a kind of I picked this up in park in preparing for this interview I was doing a bit of research and I was and I noticed that there was an Encyclopedia Britannica it describes collie as the major Hindu goddess whose I can. she calls in mythology commonly associate her with death sexuality violence and paradoxically and some of her later historical appearances motherly love which I think is really funny because I don’t think any of that is paradox in some ways and comprehensible and so I I would actually say that eyes my relationship with Collies when that is I mean how can it not be informed by certain cultural ideas of who she is whether those are coming more from Orthodox Hindu ideas of who she is and I should say that I grew up in a household that very much revered Kali and and and Shiva in particular they were they were on the present so there were lots and lots of beautiful pictures of collie with her necklace with severed skulls and it was always really funny when I had friends coming over to my house and they see these pictures and it’d be like oh my God that’s that’s so creepy that’s so messed up like why do you have these pictures up in your house and I I really agree with a with an enormous amount of reverence for these images which you know that they might look violent on the outside but they’re just they’re just representations you know their representations of things that exist within each and every one of us then and I always for me I always felt that was that was the beauty of it the beauty was in was in the imagery that that didn’t just fit didn’t just done represent her as being kind of the docile nurturing mother but there’s love these in here there’s love even in this and I really grew up with that understanding so none of that snooze paradoxical but at the same time a lot of Hindus will say oh well, he is actually really loving there is no there is no ferocious aspect beer I think that still persist even among people who do follow her and I think that it’s really important to it’s really important to see that so that her love is all encompassing it it really it’s her love is is her dancing in the Charnel grounds it’s her cutting off illusion at its roots it’s her frankly doing all the shit that we humans don’t want to do that we don’t want to face and I think I really I’ve really discovered Kali in my body in my dreams there’s a very there’s a personal relationship that I’ve had to develop with collie that’s about yes it’s about entertaining the way that she appears in the world and imagery and iconography and I think that there’s a place for all of that but it never became quite real to me until I experienced her for myself until I experienced myself in her grip well yeah well I think that the the story that you read that I wrote it was it was about coming face-to-face with her during I guess what I could describe as being a Dark Night of the Soul on at a time in my life where I felt completely alone and in many ways forsaken by just the spiritual practices that I had had and it was just a really it was a very lonely. My life and I didn’t have a spiritual community that I could really share this with and the most intense experience I had is coming face-to-face with Mama was it’s so appropriate it was during my first Ayahuasca Journey and and I it’s it’s funny sometimes when I described that Journey to the people that they’re just horrified because it really felt like I was coming I was coming face-to-face with death with my dad with the death of everything that I had held to be stable and fixed and everything I thought of as being me and and I think it’s really it’s important of course to remember that collie Collies name is it comes from the Sanskrit root for time and there’s nothing that is skates you know the march of time there’s nothing that escapes her and so and I do think of calling is being a goddess of death but I I’ve always seen it as being the death of the ego and that was that was kind of the experience that I that I had and I which is not to say that I think my ego is completely dead or the even that I wanted to be completely and totally different conversation altogether but but I really felt that this this experience that I had of coming face-to-face with her was about overcoming all of these ideas that I had about who I was and I think that when we become encased in those ideas those ideas become a prison and we don’t allow ourselves to grow into what we could be we don’t allow ourselves to move in the direction that our souls urine for and so I it was it was an incredibly on uplifting experience it was the experience of I’m dying and and also understanding that part of me that is eternal that that is not my you know the part of me that is not my body and not my personality and not my ego which is not to say that that stuff is in the gated because I cannot have that experience was just an even deeper appreciation for everything that I do have all of these tools that I do have at my disposal and I just remember coming out about journey of being sort of like wow I have have this body and you know like my body does all this amazing stuff that’s so cool and there was a sense of. Being you know a face of this this larger being that I am but I bet that’s part of the mystery it belongs to the mystery just as she lives in a mystery and I kind of felt that little journey into my death was this this this beautiful on kind of sojourn into that deeper mystery where you know everything that we believe about ourselves is is just untrue on and it’s it’s interesting cuz it feels like to me that was ego obliterating but it was also on I would say that it’s the most loved that I’ve ever felt it’s the most I’ve ever felt and it was in it wasn’t it was coming to me and it was moving through me and I was that love and if anything it felt like it just it it made me so much bigger then I then I ever knew was possible and that’s me is is just kind of stuff ultimate that’s the ultimate encounter with her she shows you how small your ideas of yourself really are there so puny know who you think you are and what you believe you’re capable of compared to the reality which is just so vast it’s it’s like you know if we settle we settle for so little in terms of our lives than 10 we settle for safety but I but I do think that with the soul wants is that experience of vastness and that experience is moving in to know the places that we fear which I kind of like the veil in front of the vastness you know you got it you have to move through that in order to get to in order to get to that place where you like oh yeah this is it this is this is the experience that my soul has been hungering for and I was the experience that I knew I was hungry for when I was in this dead-end marriage where everything like the future had been written it was everything had been predicted I know I could cross it all off my to-do list and die happy according to someone else’s standards of what that happiness was but I would never have gotten to that to that place to that place of you know feeling this Indescribable love the love that comes through when you’re willing to surrender your ideas of who you are and what your life is supposed to look like and said that experience that’s a very that’s that’s always going to be a personal experience for anybody and it’s going to look different for everybody and I’ve got to say that was that was fairly recent in my life and I honestly don’t know that I that I really knew Kali was before that I had an idea I had a deep reverence for her but I wasn’t touched by her in quite the same way as I was when I allowed myself to go into this experience and allowed myself to say yes I’m okay I’m okay with my dad so just to sort of Jump Ahead a little bit I think there are a lot of different ways to really make a connection with her to get in contacts but I do think that one of the quickest route is is Ayahuasca if if any of your listeners are so inclined it seems to be kind of a direct a direct line to her and and I think

Tantra Punk Turns Fighters into Lovers TPP18

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amaranth-tantra-punkIn this episode I read an article I wrote several years ago describing my first tantra workshop in Los Angeles where I experienced the power of divine feminine and masculine energy in a guided group dancing ritual.
I discovered ancient sources of empowerment that energized my revolutionary punk spirit.