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Decoding Tantric Buddhist Sacred Dance with Devika the Techy Tantrika TPP201

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In this episode I’m joined again by Devika the Techy Tantrika, this time for an epic exploration of the theology, philosophy, history, and practical applications of sacred dance from a Tantric Buddhist perspective. We shared a beautiful experience together during a sacred dance training retreat in Portland, OR several years ago and I’d been wanting to do a recap with her on her experience. She has a deep and rich background in sacred dance,  tantric buddhism, and yogini mysticism and it’s a treasure to hear her elaborate on the teachings we received while at the Dance Mandal temple. It was a life changing experience which led to my discovery of Vajra yoginis, and Khroda Kali in particular who I resonate with. My track Wrathful Dakini is a devotional hymn which was based on my revelatory experiences surrounding this chapter of my life.

We compare notes from the dance training retreat and comment on the relevance of traditional teachers and classical studies in tantra and all spiritual paths.

We also discuss the modern intersection of sexiness, sex witches, social media, and her research project: https://witchactivism.carrd.co/.

About Devika:

Devika J. Singh/The Techy Tantrika is a Tantric Sex and Self-Relationship Coach as well as a Performess. Her diverse creative endeavours as well as her views on holistic sex, intimacy, self-relationship and self-care have culminated into the one-on-one online coaching practice she has today. Devika’s unique take on traditional and Neo-Tantric practices along with her continuous dedication to providing commentary on tech trends that affect the way we date and intimately connect shine through in her YouTube video series where she provides Tantric sex and dating advice to her audience.

You can find Devika’s YouTube sex+dating advice video series at youtube.com/thetechytantrika

Follow her Instagram at:
http://www.instagram.com/thetechytantrika

You can also find out more about her coaching practice and writing at devika-singh.com

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast episode number 2 0 1 game join Again by devika the country Qatar and I wouldn’t have done a couple episodes so far in the past one all about open-source sexuality another one all about keeps Rising sex work policy and so we have been talking a lot about motive the modern synthesis and assimilation of classical time show with Neo Tantra and check and what not. It’s just fun and exciting intersection is just been crazy to go back and listen to those shows this time we’re going to get into a really fine or kind of personalized description of somewhat Memoirs where we first met in person at the at the dance Mondo Maple Leaves tantric Buddhist sacred Dance Training temple in syrtis I’m very authentic true to form goddess Temple that really for me was profound in many ways mostly in that it was a revelation for me to see that there is living breathing devotional goddess Temple Buddhism where there’s more than just the multiple genders of DVDs are our honored and respected and worship and field practice where you might not you might not be exposed to that otherwise so I’m extremely grateful for did you get for inviting me to that to this weekend Dance Training Retreat which was kind of like my my Karate Kid training with the master in and stealing KY Lake you know maybe I don’t think I need my black belt but I probably probably got at least one built you know up some starting a house from scratch but along the way of me making a complete ass of myself as the only male would be initiated you know I will see you in background so they can just like this to water from his Jimmy awkward but I survived and I learned a lot and not only in the dance but also in these these meditation Temple lecture philosophy lectures that were given and also we had free reign of this one of the most explicit libraries of collections of books devoted to John Travolta times and so there’s some gems that that I discovered there but you know don’t take my word for it I love to just take this opportunity to have if you can her perspective on that experience in some gaps in my understanding and knowledge because to bring this into the ultimate context it is that that experience led to me producing a track called Rascal that King and I’ll get into that at some point later but basically a Revelations that I’ve had what I felt to be direct Union direct communication with and since then really this track which is a devotional him that uses it and in vocational Mantra as the sort of part of it every time I sing that and with all my heart than she appears and I see her the way that she is you know in a and it in the way that she is symbolically to pick it in the in the art form the classical art form of what’s called who is called crota Kali who is one of the disorder than a police terkini kind of archetypes which Gerald got his students like one of those I’m building my collection of having experiences and then having a toy on my wall I’ll make a track and that track will be my sort of them my Memoir or my Elemento this is way more this is a huge opportunity for me to kind of have you bringing your perspective on on that that experience that we shared there and also bring in some of your more highly developed awareness of the permutations of Buddhism and Tantra and also yeah they just tell us that be great to hear about what brought you to the discovery of that Temple because obviously the story goes back as far as to where you were you know enchanted with their work so that was enough for me. Thank you so much been yes cuz he mentioned I’m devika the ticket on sweetie, I’m so glad that you made this our topic today been just because that’s when those of the extremely unique temple in Portland Oregon and try to swallow who is the dance teacher the primary dance teacher there was our teacher that weekend and he’s been training and Talia make sure you tell sorry since he was a young child so that was in his his lineage for a long time and for me I’ve always been play training quite a bit and vajrayana Buddhist lineages cuz I had to start at my own silent meditation practice I think about on 2007/2008 but Tibetan lineage of always been significant to me because anybody who studies Buddhist studies or you know I’m has a pretty good understanding of a variety of different Buddhist lineage has Bill noticed that a lot of the deities in tibetan and Nepalese certain Nibbley’s lineages don’t really necessarily have presidents are really significant Presence at all in other lineages so you know like the dakinis are seeing a lot you see if I join your guinea is a dominant The Keeney there’s also no preserved and venerated in the in the stands lineage you and I went to training and just like with any veneration or worship of these dakinis is usually requires a lot of Advanced Techniques a lot of persistent training because the dakinis are definitely I always think of them as more intermediary or you know you’d rather just because they’re not really have to be really specific with how you worship and worship them because they can be kind of tricksters in certain ways but they can also also need a lot more respect I think like there’s a lot of benevolent like happy DD’s and then you kind of work up to bother you again other Tiki knees and the kids are wisdom Bears they’re not the really I don’t know if you could say that a surly you know putting some situations where they have to really be as forgiving perhaps they expect I think a lot of a lot of practice in a lot of patients in a lot of determination from those who are who are and worship up they are very much like Kali from the Hindu Hindu spiritual lineage has just because you have to have a certain amount of practice with them you have to have a certain amount of respect them are they able to teach you a lot but if you are not open to learning those lessons you will not get them and sometimes you know like do your lessons by, in ways that look for a coke bad or negative in your life but a trained practitioner or train student even would have the tools to help them kind of navigate those lessons and not to say that the lesson still won’t be hard it’s just that you need to have a certain amount of prerequisite I guess in a way that certain amount of information in order to work with those DVDs in order to really get not just what would be helpful to you both would have also be helpful in respect to them and reminds me of an of what you were saying earlier about you know once a DVD shows up to you if I tell you something that of great assistance you obviously not understand that it’s reciprocal and you get back to that TD and your veneration and respected them so these DVDs are not like practice DVDs are like this introductory DD’s they need they definitely need a certain level of practice and respect and information on behalf of the students are also just not going to get as much out of it either I guess I’ve heard of so many people just want to jump right to DD’s like this in various lineages and a lot of people will caution them and say that you really need to understand the foundational aspects of the practice you’re looking at before you work with them but it really comes down to what people are after like they’re looking for quick fixes or even like something like power or you know something just really just deals mostly with our Earthly realm they’re not going to the store they get what they want or they might get what they want for the beginning but there’s always a price to pay like and you can’t have you know you can’t have an action without a reaction if you’re not setting up the foundation of something properly you’re not setting it up on a you know they’re setting up his Queen on the shaky Foundation at that point and things don’t go too well when you build them on a shaky foundation so I would definitely you know suggest anybody who does want to learn sacred dance forms to look for a proper New Groove for that and Venture for us just make sure they’re taking the proper steps for me I’ve always because of my love for Tibetan Buddhist lineages I really loved my experience at that spent all my hope to go back you know again in the future you know for something similar to what you and I had conferred then I don’t live on the west coast anymore unfortunately but I’m sure I’ll make it back there again it was a beautiful time. Really they just they found such an amazing job with that that’s him pulling the practices that they adhere to their arms it’s certainly is unique and lovely did yeah so thank you for giving that discourse on this parallel and treachery really had no approaching these purses with the wrong attitude or without due diligence and I think my modern check a metaphor that comes to mind is actually I’ve been thinking about this ready contacts but this is this is really right now which is it there’s I think people who approached spirituality as from The New Age kind of Neo perspective of not not really I say beating her asparagus before they eat their ice cream like they want they want to jump right to everything that’s possible and skip over the shadow work but the the more traditional approach would beat you really confront you or your Shadow true the help of the duties that are going to we’re going to help you do that and you know that that is really up for what I’m doing with in my Modern Life sandwich lot of people are just like me they need to do to audit your security and to do penetration testing and to hire hackers to actually try to break into your systems to see what your vulnerabilities are so that you can fix them before real shit hits the fan win some you know and they don’t give you the full report they actually just take everything take your intellectual ransomware your your machines and Edward have a persistent intrusion into your network that you don’t know about until years later when everything that you held dear and sacred was this compromise so that’s that’s how I feel like that if you if you’re afraid of that you’re setting yourself up for ultimate disaster in the future if you’re not willing to approach that Duty with respect you know of those duties you have the potential to print like really sucking hand your ass to you you’re not going to call the spiritual bug bounty system I have another another pun play on words to add to that but but I’ll let you finish okay well yeah it’s it’s from that shamanic perspective of some sort of delousing your soul by removing parasites and I feel like a bug Bounty is even more apps because they would be removing those pests from your soul and all that her that you’re unaware of that are causing you to you know make mistakes in your karmic development so yeah so with that said do you want to talk about now just kind of give people the the play-by-play of we arrive there and do you want to give you a recollection of the the kind of syllabus and of course outline and what what what I experienced was there and what you’re you’re sure I’m just trying to think of it wasn’t that a time ago not going to lie I was a bit of time guys from perfect feeling very magical and just really appreciating it cuz it’s you know what the time I was a fusion belly dancer and I still love dance it’s just you know I had suffered a back injury sometime much time after but I’m just grateful that I at least had that experience the Savannah what that’s meant I’ll be for all that zinnias happens later but you know it is what it is but in terms of doing that Workshop they were so gracious you know they gave us a really great we know we’re right out and see a step-by-step you know the monster has instructions I still have I still loved my portfolio that they gave me like you know I still had a lot and I just I’ve always been very enthusiastic about using the body and worship with dance in expressions of arch just because I always felt like art is about Creative Energy the sacral chakra is about sexual energy and create an anonymous right they are one of the savings people tend to forget that or not really put that together so I always am very enthusiastic about what time you know really creative positive ways of using the body and worship and the style of dance really loud. So do you still have your do you still have your folder from there I do somewhere and I started to look for it but I did I really want to find it because I want to I wanted to be able to I mean I don’t know if you have it handy or if not then we can just going to go from memory but now it rain in front of me but I mean I guess I’ll be glad to do some scanning later so that you can have copy call me buried in somewhere but I really appreciated about that weekend was that possible did start looking into the voucher Eugenie dance ceremony with all so what was amazing as he took us through you know the Preparatory dance which is about paying homage to the DD’s you know and it within the Buddhist contacts before you begin your dance and that he taught us the hand with rose that go with the dances as well which are so important in like a lot of like a lot of Asian dance styles likes you a lot of traditional dance styles this dance tells a story it’s not just the person embodying the DAT in human form sort of so to speak but also if you listen to that at least you know if you don’t understand them on to us but you look at the translations and if you look at what each moves from means and what each motion means it’s all telling a story so that’s beautiful to me I just it was very you know incredible and the fact that we got to look at the photo you can anyone know that’s a lot to me because I was a big part of also why I went there and seen it on YouTube and I understood the even though I was very interested in that dance I knew that we met your most likely not go there necessarily because that is an advanced dance for all the reasons I had previously mentioned about working with dakinis events duties of your guinea but it was really amazing that we actually got to you know try that out and really talk to those who have performed that dance that weekend was so short to me like I just wish you could have stayed there so much longer is really amazing but yeah I’d like the fact that I let me remind you I grew up with folk dances like her up just you know what an absolute Fascination for it so learning about a dance style that does this in worship and in respect of the staties that’s not easy to find that mean you do find it in Hindu Traditions there are so disloyal to do something similar but especially what we were learning that’s $1 you can’t find many teachers who teach that there’s also not very many dance styles like. I’ve heard of another one but I’ve never seen anybody teach it here at least or of the universe within within Canada or the United States so I mean there might be but I haven’t come across up and you need answers for those are any dance teachers for lineage but yeah so I would say those were the Superman highlights eat you recall anything else that really stuck out to you yeah in a few things to do very memorable and then all in complementary to to your thoughts and perspectives on this because she hasn’t much I guess I certainly Richard background in Premiere was pretty much all encountering it for the first time and so I really I think the way to the kind of transmit the experience to others at least verbally and I know you can go on YouTube and and pretty much the same the same dance that we learned I know they have at least one video that’s at least it’s pretty much like that specific sequence of movements and then we also had to learn to sing the parts that weren’t we at we were we were trained to not just learn actual poses and the sequence of the positions moving along the dance floor but actually singing the appropriate the Mantra portion of it at being every every every time we transition to another movement we’re actually seeing saying the devotional sort of launcher him about what that position really is representing and and I got think of it it’s like a 3-D lives motion to wear if you’re used to approach you are you just sitting there making I mean I don’t suggest your secondary and you’re making offerings and you’re doing gestures in your doing Luger’s but you’re just so this is like imagine being this coming good multidimensionality of the and the offering aspect of it of that the energy that you’re pouring into the the ritual that being the just night and day in terms of the difference between the seated meditative offering to Pooja and I’m spinning around and holding your arms up and just being as graceful as you could ever imagine everybody being and also that it was just beautiful so maybe if you could you know from just some of the Physicians remember I remember there was like a little drama and the big drum and offering incense and they were all basically kind of like I feel like a mime you know remind me out these emotional offerings and so from that experience well I knew I hadn’t said this earlier but I was going to say I know you said that you felt like you know a fish out of water I think it’s what you said earlier you know it wasn’t really being a dude they’re just being a guy and then he was a good teacher is a guy but it’s so cool though this type of worship or any worship I always go back to looking at who are you doing as for right it’s all the times you doing is to please a deity or you know to show appreciation respecting the really that’s all that’s asked you know of you write like to show up and to do it like when I first learned silent meditation for example my teacher would always say it never gets easier right like there’s there will always be a time where it becomes difficult but the what’s being asked to use to show off that’s the devotional part right that’s the part where even if you’re learning to do something for the first time that’s still so pivotal because you’re still doing that with that intention of federation respect and worship that’s really that really is all it’s being asked of you know set it right and I’m sure it influenced also how you’ve continued to worship right and it’s become a part of your experience in various ways they honestly that’s all often lets its really often people really in people don’t necessarily here that often or that’s not something that comes up I mean we are so used to I think it’s also speak about this from growing up you know like a lot of people in various religions they are asked to do so much but might be things that they’re not willing to do necessarily like maybe you know ask to Worship in a certain way like I mean don’t get me wrong like obviously poo just have to place a certain religions and their needed by people who really need them but I always wondered what why aren’t we teaching people these these artistic forms of worship to like I remember reading in the Hindu Pantheon there was 52 artistic expressions or skills that are considered sacred and her people to maintain and a lot of those were artistic like a lot of them were of a poetry and about dance and artistic expression and I think you know technically speaking and I’m seeing a lot of this and dance movements across the world the idea that in order to move into express yourself through your body and whatever way that you can through your body enter your mind isn’t itself but I can’t worship so I mean whether or not let’s say somebody continues with a particular sacred lineage and learn to do that dance Tyler whether they go through life and you know it’s a inspiration from these lineages but then set off and kind of do something that comes to them naturally it’s all relative it’s all important right so you know so so as I talked about this you know for example sorry I missed you may not be for a surly everybody write a lot of people might not let’s say how the Buddhist context behind them or might it might not resonate with them but there could be something else right there can always be something else for those people instead I think that’s the interesting thing about tantric practice right like there’s so many lineages making really look towards and I think I still stand behind the concept but I think there are tajuk lineages and every religion It’s just sometimes they don’t make it to the mainstream literature of those religions so you know I think when people do enough taking and hold their beliefs strong things will come to that you know like it there’s a meeting halfway that sense to happen during the person needs to keep the the principles in the pillars of their belief system close to their heart and you know I threw those pillars and I do believe that as a go long information will come to that message will come to the right forms of practice for them come to them you know it’s it’s that’s why I always say to trust your instincts like 50 people I always tell them it’s very important to learn how to trust yourself and learn from yourself and learn with your intuition and stinks look like because that’s how all of the Divine speaks to you right mind you and protist lineages the Divine in the profane are the same thing and that’s the way I see you too so I think when people create that’s Schism that also kind of friends that I don’t put them until amount of conflict because once you start looking at everything a sacred I think that’s a huge part of town tourism and it can be very hard to keep thought police in mind but I think a good teacher too and you know good foundational set of training really help since unfortunately sometime and take a people you know who emailed me and they’re like well I can’t find a teacher in my area or you know where do I learn this way this without all that from you know lineages explains that or practices AT&T because I don’t know anybody around me that says says and that’s a big part of why I decided to do online training for people like that’s why I have my own coaching program but at the same time I also understand where they’re coming from and sometimes it’s not going to come right away you just got to keep doing what you can from your end and eventually you never know what’s going to happen right but because that’s what I was saying earlier patience is a huge thing like people want results of people want answers now but that’s not always the way things are going to go that’s not always waiting for intended to go so patients in the South can be quite the lesson with your original but I know you were talking about the moon and the aspect of the mechanics and curious if you remember any of it cuz there’s a few movements that I had that all all old mansion after after you kind of give a natural fit for you or anything that you felt like you had it with mantras in motion as you’ve mentioned earlier and Irene the ones that stuck out to me or kind of similar to the ones you had mentioned earlier about like the instruments for example the certain Mutual represented let’s say things about those titi’s hold so I just so they want to say if they’re always tools but they’re like certain symbolic objects that BT’s are known to hold and we did do address to represent those as well right call really amazing and I think with a lot of these sacred lineages you are going to get a lot of enactment of you know sacred objects even animals sometimes are adornments of that signify the DD that you’re that you’re talking about is that you’re looking at not just the costuming to fix that but like I think the big thing is for me at least when I see these dance styles I think of the fact that even if that person was not wearing Me labra costume you could still tell from what they’re Universal symbolism that they’re gesturing and that they’re doing through their dads you can tell who it is at their embodying at the time I think I’m a big part of why those hundreds Rose and certain motions you know kind of really show that like for example one really cares about you use uni dance she does a lot of circular motioning to kind of signify the traveling to the sky and to the universe which is absolutely beautiful but there’s thought type of movement that was very particular and specific to that Dede because she’s a Sky Dancer right so yeah they’re really thought out and really carefully put together and not just even composed but performs and that’s why it takes so many years to learn these Stan Stylez I mean that’s also why you’d want to teach her like prajwal for example who been doing has been doing this since he was a child so yeah it is absolutely beautiful and very rare and amazing when you come across these things if you know whether the person who has been studying since they were a child or has dedicated a lot of their life to studying it it’s all amazing to see when you do get in to see the answer to that’s given their whole body to the dance it’s not just emotions cuz you see that sometimes but you don’t doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s wrong or anything but I know I personally and everything to is when people are in that stage it doesn’t mean to always be on that stage at some point I think a dancer does give all their body into it if they really stay with us you know but yeah but it’s so nice to see it when you do see that person fully embodying and fully giving themselves into it because they are they are professional they know how to do that and I know how to get out of it to write it’s like it’s like magic to me appointment I was safe for me what what was most profound about the specific movements was when he introduced the wrathful deity respective dancing in he did some demonstrations of some stuff that we didn’t actually we’re actually taught but he basically did some more you know in some of his lectures she would just break out into the accompanying dance to go along with the lecture and what not Inn in one of the things you know he was doing was acting out the wrathful basically acting out but being invoking the possession trance state of of the wrathful deity or raffle. and that so that aspect plus the aspect of something that we did learn specifically in in the dance in a very subtle form but a very elegant and subtle but very telling kind of corn was this notion of stomping and you see this in the artwork with his notion of stomping on the demons to basically Crush but with wood gray sexy you’re not you’re invoking the power of the wrathful deities and to me that is the the psychotherapeutic aspect in the the really applied sort of shamanistic aspect of it yes we’re to put in simple terms are too kind of hopefully not not butcher hit by put in my own words it’s just that you know where we’re almost like children in the sandbox of human bodies and higher level of development and what we can actually obtain him in one lifetime for most people is pretty pretty remedial relative to the grandiosity of these deities that probably live a lot longer than we do maybe have been around a lot longer and have a lot more mobility throughout the dimensions and are just wiser creatures and their kind of entertained by us and our our Folly and we would do well to choose where do I track them to our sacred spaces so that they can help us to with our issues and not only help us feel good and have health and you know abundance of things we pray for but also that they have us to have Liberation from our own foolishness and Karma is insulated things that are beyond our control and obviously all of the very nuanced forces of evil and so these are some of the few Living Traditions in the world where there’s a sun broken Pagan shamanic power that comes from your new worshiping these duties so that you could have bacon come in and really rescue you like you’re a prisoner of war Behind Enemy Lines you know I’m in that tactical perspective was what turn me on the most was this notion of like yeah you can do is dance and you’re you were basically borrowing or asking for the power to do this astral combat sort of work and so love to hear what you would say about the exact number is Dancing with the holding the hips in a certain angle and this beautiful images of the blessings were stepping backward and stopping by The Chieftains and then knowing that you can access the Rascal that would that would make you know bad guys you know one or Retreat I think if they sell you do then you’re doing that in a dark alley and they wanted to have they had their way with you or take your money or something and then you could just like bust out into this wrathful deity dance you know that they probably would will be yeah I’ll be there cue to exit stage left now the funny thing usually has a few different like you know associations with it and I mean it’s so cathartic first of all did you feel like did you feel like it was cathartic when you yeah it’s beautiful because it really reconnect you to the earth into the ground and I mean as we’re looking at this to think it’s important to realize and Buddhist lineages demons are an evil are representative of ignorance right so that goes back to was Buddhism that there’s no Duality everything is one and the idea what these DD’s if they’ve stuck around a lot of times because they’re very compassionate and they want to help people overcome ignorance so that bacon understand the true Unity of everything so when we think of D you know I think of demons and evil that’s her thing they’re all aspects of the illusion of the samsara that we exist in this world is called samsara and in Buddhism and as we’re doing these things we’re dispelling ignorance if you actually look at the story of Siddhartha the first grew at the first of the sorry it was a guru actually how you know in the way his final like in his final test he had demons coming at him it was just like really torturous listen to Star comfortable and he was sitting under the Bodhi Tree trying to just meditate what eventually be reached Enlightenment after all these tests in the past really where about Stevenson these distractions so it’s it’s interesting to me because the demons correlate with you know our obvious concerns about horrible things happening so like you no ill health poverty and disease famine everything right and this is why it takes so long to do these practices until really dedicate ourselves to these teachings because firm understandably so for many of us as humans we understand that these things are painful and we don’t want paying we want to avoid paying obviously nobody wants to hear wake up tomorrow usually and be like oh well I just want to be in pain all day you know and the only the only thing I find in Buddhism is that it acknowledges this pain and tries to help people with understanding a different way of living with it are experiencing the things in this world to like part of the wisdom of Buddhism the stock concept of yes there is pain but there is also have two ending up suffering while on this Earth while experiencing this pain so I have full appreciation for Buddhist teachers practitioners you know and everyone else between who is able to see past the illusions that we experience the moment-to-moment basis of pain and suffering and all of that and I think when we see that foot stomping and we see that sort of you know the spelling of evil I always look at it and remember remind myself as a big part of that is we are asking for the removal of the veil of ignorance and illusion we’re trying to understand how to live with the things that happen in our lives like apparently even like the Buddha after he preached Enlightenment I’ve heard and that one lineage that he had a really bad back problems still so you would never immune to like even physical suffering and stuff but he knew how to overcome it in his mind like yours and it is being so this really Buddhism when it comes down to it it’s all about perception and so how we’re living in reminds me of something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately which is how imprisonment happens within our own minds and even when we’re giving horrible circumstances Buddhism is really teach us about how to overcome the Carmine’s like there’s no guarantee that anyting long has really changed in our physical world right we we have what we have not stopped at type thing and wheel you can continue to strive to overcome those things of course but it starts with the mind and the mentality and how we perceive what we are given so I always think about these things because when we go to learn any sacred dance is always important of course as I mentioned before to understand the foundational tools prayers mantras and these kids move drugs principle Solutions you know all of these things the Theology of these practices before we go in because you don’t like what side of meditation like all of these practices I think they’re mostly beneficial to people when they understand the foundations that they came from but even just sometimes I think understanding it is one part of it but I think practicing these things before doing it is also helpful because something could the cool from the outside your cards right but I think when we get the taste of something that we like the safer for you and myself like we love this and style it can Inspire us to continue to learn about these practices and these principles and I think for anybody who is interested in anything like this or a meditation or any practice it’s good to know themselves through these practices that I can pay also definitely need to work on it not just from the dance practice or from the meditation practice they need to understand the whole kit and caboodle you know they need to really find a teacher who can teach them the principles in the foundation’s to go with these things because learning the axum self that doesn’t do the practice justice so I mentioned only because so you’re going to get a lot of people who might you know find the semi-finals practice interesting and just like people come to us with interest about tantrism but they have to understand that they’re their studies don’t start and stop at the process themselves they have to go and learn the whole thing like they really do I don’t think it’s enough just to let stay with the Kamasutra like you can’t just learn the sex positions for example and just ignore the fact that there’s a whole ton of writing in there and principles that I personally don’t agree with but let me remind you the Kama Sutra isn’t really a tantric Doctrine to be honest lot of people don’t know but you know like I think anybody who’s going to dedicate themselves to these things really need to do themselves a good service of just you know learning all of it so I’m glad you’re doing this podcast you know we’re both doing this because I think I was looking at all of these positions and we’ll talk about the monster has I hope it inspires people to look more into these lineage is especially like the vajrayana Buddhist lineages but that the stats all came from right and that this dance Auburn resents don’t know more social Moore Public kind of expression of love so much more in her work so we could see the the sort of a I mean it’s almost like the way people joke about how I made it in North America there is this tendency for white New Age speakers european-american European secrets to they want to go and they want to get their Indian name and they want to get the play one that hold the pipe and they they want to have all these very conspicuous consumption kind of trinkets that that show off their affiliation and may or may not really be based on the deepest most sincere interest in her work as soon as you’re speaking about this I think about how you know I I I casually made a reference to karate kid earlier about looking at the Karate Kid archetype of basically looking at how westerners it stored traditional practices in general and so the other the other aspect if I was the Cobra Kai School you had like basically the corrupted and ego-based and and aggressive rather than defensive Distortion that was the result of the US military Sergeant or whoever the guy Kris being like a a Vietnam War kind of super else you took the his spin on on Karate and then you get this hyper masculine toxic mask on aggressive abusive patriarchal system and I feel like there is a people who have people have horror stories of training with male just say it’s mostly you know male who were going to actually be using black magic to mine front and brainwash people and take their money and build Empires on abuse and but they will still be teaching you beautiful positions and beautiful words everything will feel and look very beautiful and he helps but you could be being totally totally scam do you know so that’s part of what I think what you’re saying is I think you did the good research and you you would position me to have that experience with cars wall and you know the teacher who is to me like the most beautiful one of the most beautiful men embodiment of the development of this is the this is the extreme potential of the development of a man’s feminine aspect and you don’t have to be you will appreciate it even if your not gay and that I think it’s like I want more I want I would love them he said also about the feel like they’re in the ancient you would be as a man very it wouldn’t be a pretty story of to be emasculated it would be a gift and you will be seeing it is so complimentary and actually help you to have that contrast but have that balance so so yeah very instructive in general but that’s close to wrapping up in something I want to highlight yeah but when I’m at one of the lecturers at Fresh wall gave the two it was a lot of really potent teachings and one of the things that stood out to me the most it was most kind of maybe the quintessential teaching of of the whole weekend and the quintessence of the path it seemed like he was using the words mudra and use the word mudra and it’s in a contest at her before that made sense if I move a posture of your you know could be your just your hands or could be your hands and or parts of the body in concert but basically you’re holding a position that is indicating a certain alignment and a certain attitude really in so that if you extrapolate that to you or your whole lifestyle and your spiritual path he said there was that you can live basically by these two options in life either the karmamudra or the German Luger and the any put it very elegantly saying that you know if you see you Wednesday in the karmamudra which is basically scratching your head at while your life is constantly throwing things are going wrong for you and we should be there just kind of piling things under the basically living and just like shoving things under the rug and not not doing the work to purify your actions in any thoughts and deeds you know what not but where is but he would say Obviously most people in a less conscious state or are just regurgitating there cameras in the cycle but then the the the higher Road or the narrow road to the alternative is to live in what he called that was the simplest I’ve ever heard I mean what the thing is that we will she’s like do things that make other people smile you know what I mean anyway do that that’s up for Street much should golden miles did I produce today up or down on the charts you know my going to meet you like up the game tomorrow with getting more smells out there and so I just want to let that be my my last homage from this podcast to what I what I try to do partial out there man I’m done and I’m doing it with her before we wrap up to I just wanted to quickly mention as well I’m bringing such a good point about gender because a beautiful thing about casualties in this is he represents a perfect non-duality in terms of gender fluidity right he is obviously been gifted disability through his lineage has to represent male and female TTS right and he does it so eloquently and so perfectly and it reminds me of these gender divisions that we’ve seen is very much within North American and Western European constructs right the way gender is performed and represented across cultures aren’t necessarily but we’re used to seeing right and I think when we see something as beautiful as what we see and in this dance lineages and within Buddhism actually shows up quite often in a lot of Eastern theology in a spiritual Traditions it’s a concept that help me cuz that’s within us all qualities of any gender and non-gender the we can think of and I do hope that we see more of a returning that in our side I kind of feel like we’re starting to see this and what kind of looking towards shamanic lineages and I think of a lot of Tibetan lineages of thought because they do have shamanic a shamanic Origins which is why a lot of Tibetan in Nepalese protist lineages look a bit different than let’s say Chinese Korean and Japanese go to sleep just so it’s very beautiful to see this understanding in a compass and respect of all types of energy whether we are going to look at them has male female or nonbinary don’t by now it’s quite beautiful too beautiful return to that yes awesome of that thank you for that I’m sorry I’m so do you have any others actually yeah it’d be nice to just get a bit of an update from you if you want to close out the section on desk that’s why I just have to get an update from you on what’s been happening what’s on your mind what are you looking forward to what are you preparing for the future but people message me because they wants like I can still and I appreciate that so much and well the thing is I don’t know if I told you this I certified and Yoni steaming right and I was on the directory for steamy chick I wholeheartedly recommend just temporarily take me off because I’m so busy right now in my studies I don’t have time right now unfortunately the couch as much as I feel like that’s what she is part of my calling like I’m always torn between digital activism and my calling as a Tums Rica and I never want to not skip my time low supposed because I don’t have the time and energy right now but you know in about it’s a year-and-a-half I hope to really go back to holistic healing go back to holistic sexual education and you know really go back to me because a big part of that for me is understanding sexual freedoms online which has been so constricted lately in the last couple years and I think one of the worst times for online sexual expression under the Trump Administration I will go too much of that I think you know our previous previous podcast definitely talk more about that but anyways long story short of it I was saying about a year-and-a-half I will go back into training and teaching people and I will very much consider doing like one hour coaching session cuz I was really offering. so much before but I know people as you have one on questions of that sort of thing so I think it was just you know be helpful that way the only reason I didn’t offer it so much before was because as much as I am intuitive coach and counselor in that sense of spiritual counselor I also feel like a lot of the times you can give people information but if they’re not consistently working. Just like we’re time on this podcast they’re not doing a deep dive. Information is initially I was going to help them that takes a quite a long time to alter habits and to really reflect on one’s mindset NCL thinking process so I was offering will sleep just three months before but I think I also have to acknowledge this fast-paced world we live in an offer something more within intuitive counseling but definitely differentiate between my coaching and that’s the type of Lionel advice-giving just because to be there at the same they’re both helpful in their own ways but I really do appreciate when I get to work with people on a long-term basis but yeah I think offering advice and help is also really good too and has its place is so we’ll see what happens in a year and a half from now but I look forward to serving our other people and Humanity in that realm of things again soon you know I miss it so that’s pretty much what I’m doing and I know I’m just I am grateful for my studies because I think it will always help me become a better size of think of it as a civil servants to to humanity as we how are who are helping people but I do know the Earth in general are who is just you know intend to do good but yes I I just I do miss talking to people about our work so get back into that mix then really all of these new crypto rails will be running smoothly so you can not have any just going to it’s going to be smooth operating globally to do what we do and not have to be choked off by Banks or or big data or any of the centralized choke point so that’s very exciting will keep in touch about all that indefinitely always feel free to if you don’t mind I have kind of a fetish that’s like a around using academic work that’s done basic p like I have I feel like it’s a real tragedy all of the all of the the college work University work that’s done to just get a a grade in a class and like no one ever been at work ever see the light of day so yeah if you ever have papers that you write that only are red by you and your professor if they don’t own if they allow you to retain the copyright ownership do that then by all means I love for you to share some of your work would read it as great or I can read it or whatever but that would just be able to give more life to the work that you’re doing as you’re doing it so sweet omigod thank you Patty before I do go I should let you know I did do an online project and it was on The Witches of Instagram and the active is the first through that so if you want to take a look at that that’s online which activism. but you are so which activism. C a r r g. Co after but that was a huge project for me I’m inspiring I’m still in the undergraduate you know level of things with everything but I wasn’t that simple logical digital anthropological project I did really available for people to read if they want to I just looked at activism efforts through Instagram with entrepreneurial witches who use Instagram as one of the social media Outlets within a cock of other outlets of course it was mostly fake stuff focusing on like you know Instagram not just on Facebook or something like that but because I love Instagram I think it’s really helped a lot of those witches with in North America but I was also looking at algorithmic homogeneity in that project as well looking at how you got does diaper rash eclectic group of people but when you look at their representation through hashtag feeds like witches of Instagram’s hashtag feed you just seeing very specific types of representation switch that doesn’t really help the community this isn’t over like an overarching issue we’re having were influencers are starting to kind of represents the same things look the same like they’re expected to look similar ways and you know that diversity kind of gets lost in the shuffle for communities like this which is breakfast like this community represents diversity so seeing how it’s represented in juxtaposition to what it actually looks like you’re so kind of a music gap there and a lot has to do with the way algorithms prioritize what is considered a witch and what is it considered when they decide to show up in the yeah Which Wich activism. Card with two r’s. Co I think it is being a sex which is very I think important to to this and I think that was what led me to this and just looking at how content producers who create content similar to what you and I create and how are work it’s treated vs. you know quote on quote acceptable ways of that sucks it’s becoming more problematic and I think it needs to be addressed and this is also why I was talked about but I think tajuk lineages need to be institutionalized and somebody to protect our beliefs speak of our beliefs kind of cat Trampled Under the carpet and I’m not okay with that so I think it’s also I received an increase in witchcraft in the US and why we’re understanding it more as an acceptable form of spiritual practices always has been but you know well you know what history looks like so I’m just glad to see him searching some that and understandings of people going toward religious practices or spiritual practices allow for self-expression in sexual Freedom especially when we’re referring to what we do specifically this really makes me feel a lot better about myself because I’m starting to really wonder like what’s wrong with me why don’t I watch a lot of boring what everybody else is in the morning I’m just kind of like I’m not with it like what’s wrong with me and really it’s because I really more interested in things like digital anthropology on sex witches and that’s why I don’t like I said I guess there’s nothing nothing makes you feel good right like you know what you know and of course it’s obviously not harming other people or whatever it’s something that makes you happy do it right like I I live very much in my own on my own standards and in my own head and you know a lot and whether or not people you know agree with me but doesn’t it’s none of their business as far as I’m concerned that you mean a lot of people who Venture you don’t think like you and you do feel same way as you there they just haven’t had a chance to explore does Mater you know so I think that’s where you and I come in like we help people really kind of put more to thought so they’ve already had or the concepts they’ve already considered on their own and really help them flush it out to something that works in their life right sorry about a stack the survival weapon project that I created his basic beat and in an answer to what you propose there which is it I’m I’m using the the the youthful beauty of the younger witch population to be the Trojan Horse that leads people to the elderly witches who need our support and need money to survive and to keep their lineages transmitting and so there’s that’s that’s kind of in my cauldron that’s issue that I want to help address and it’s interesting that your tablet you probably have a lot to offer and now in that regard as well and so you’ll probably be a consultant on that project at some point with this let me know I didn’t mind you I there’s so many ways you can further that project to with you know if any of those older witches want to do some more work has the other witches that you have right now like whether it’s like modeling with us we’re thinking I definitely say go out there and do it to like let them do their thing too because there’s such a diversity of what people admire and appreciate and are attracted to it’s certainly not just in these one you know that we think of the one ways of just like you know the young attractive conventionally attractive person but I’m starting to really see Prophet not just Prim just profit would like go public interest in a variety of different types of body types and ages and genders are non gender is like there’s this all out there and then you offer up the ability of expression two people love not just the one type of Hollywood asks a type of Attraction you know that type of physical look you start initiating and when U Niche there is a lot of profit in that too but there’s also a lot of appreciation for it to social appreciation so I say if you’re if you’re going to do a Witch Project where you know you have people presenting themselves and expressing themselves in a certain way I think I invite you to consider having all your wishes have that option just because like I said that there is a market there is there are people who want that it’s just all in the marketing it’s all in how you present the project there a lot of people who made things very profitable and very popular because it was unique and it might not seem too lucrative at first but because of how they persisted and how they put forward that message they started obtaining you know of the large followership like for example with suicide girls I mean there’s always been attraction for women with tattoos alternative goth looks and alternative looks in general but the way they grew that was quite interesting than amazing to watch because that there was was the way they Market at me know when they branched off into other things from my understanding and Jack real asking you know so yeah I think I don’t know I think if you have it saved which is who are at all interested in Creative expressing themselves or in expressing themselves in a specific way I say give them all the shot you know just find what works again oh what what’s working another rounds and see if you can find satistics or data on that and find ways to Market those that are let’s say unique in their own ways you know I’m just going to think I’ll help a lot like you’re going to get a lot of people liking different things and it comes to town tourism I think there is a lot of ways to express interest in new forms of artistic forms it’s just finding those Creative Marketing and promotional ways of doing it right it’s a good thing and you can always have the sexy tikini body masseuses but like you have some really cool priestesses who to like new churches and they might not look like those to keeney’s but there are sexy in their own ways and they’re appealing and motivational and magnetic in their own ways you know and just about sexy or whatever we think of a sexy in this continent in the society write a lot of different ways of going about things we are charged with meanings and ways of having to extend beyond just what’s in front of us and in the Intercontinental exceed those limitations surpassed them and find creative ways to bring charges on my think two people because it certainly goes beyond just whatever sound like pornhub or Google I don’t know why I have a sex cells but it certainly it’s high so well until we can talk about this whole time like they’re so much depth and print there so many principles a lot of information that are easy to access but if he can find artistic ways of expressing that information that’s not easy to access too that’s all so amazing and you even be very much so so thank you again for your time everything and look forward to the next time and what would be the best way for people to follow your work now or I would say Instagram is still really good I mean there’s also YouTube in both cases just looking up Taki the ticket on speaker on YouTube and Instagram but yeah I’m active on Instagram these days cuz microblogging takes less time but I also like right now like I find it still a much more free or social media outlets in most are you know at the moment I will again thank you so much have a wonderful rest of your evening and this is a real treat. I hope we get to do it again soon you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition assassini and Ramona podcast to donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com Thomas Day

Healing the Shadow of Sisterhood with Grace Diaz TPP148

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Grace Diaz Pic
In this episode I’m joined again by Grace Diaz for a conversation about healing the shadow of sisterhood. I noticed a heart breaking social media post where she disclosed a recent story of betrayal within her inner circle of trusted women and since I’ve been caught in the crossfire of so many catastrophic falling outs among spiritually empowered women I felt the need to reach out and invite her to discuss these issues at length. I hope our efforts to raise awareness and provide idealistic solutions are of service to the greater good.

Please visit her website at:
https://yonigrace.com/  

About Grace:

My passion of healing began at the age of ten, when my father, a Reiki Master of 20 years initiated me as a Reiki Master in Medellin, Colombia. For years after arriving back to the United States, I began teaching Usui Reiki all over the east coast.

Reiki lead me to Tantra. I was introduced to Shakti-Pakti-Tantric-Yoga by my Guru Tafari Sudra, in 2011, and it allowed me to heal my 10-year eating disorder. Our organization, YONI GRACE, LLC was birthed in 2012 when I felt the burning need to share the wisdom I was experiencing through Yoni Breathing.

In 2012 Grace began distributing Yoni Eggs wholesale worldwide and teaching thousands of women how to run a Yoni Egg business from home!

Grace hosts Yoni events in the Las Vegas area and internationally. In 2016, she was privileged to be hosted in Istanbul, Turkey. There, Grace and 35 Muslim women participated in a weekend workshop of the Yoni Egg practice with Yoni Yoga. Her classes are one of a kind and focus on helping women embrace their innate sensual wisdom for spiritual and physical wellness.

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello Jay beloved’s welcome to Tantra Punk podcast episode number 148 I’m being joined Again by Grace Diaz for it what I would consider to be a sort of emergency follow up Podcast of she was just on the show very recently and I happened to notice an Instagram post where she was calling out for support and an understanding and compassion dealing with the situation that I will I will leave relatively vague but I’d just say that a pattern that is emerging as pretty Insidious and I’ve noticed it more and more recently and so I felt like I wanted to address this but basically we get into it a whole discussion about just the shadow of Sisterhood and how there’s a real fault lines in in a lot of different Dynamics between women in the patriarchy this is just such a recurring issue and I feel like a lot of I guess just speaking from a male’s perspective a lot of men would just dismiss the so-called cattiness or cat fighting of women and just attributed to menstruation or whatever you know whatever means of just not taking it seriously and it’s a lot of people just end up in the warring factions and + communities and there’s not a lot of real people not really having each other’s backs and having a lot of empathy and so just people get in the game camp and schisms and happens and you know politics and and you know Ford offices in a non-profit organizations whatever it’s it’s all across the board and I feel like I’ve gotten to Tantra because I believe it I can harmonize people in and just said that you go and get people really working in Harmony and creating beautiful Mondelez is Corporation and I have discovered that it can also be a breeding ground for a lot of Shadow behavior and certainly some some people would say that men are the the Lesser species and in the sense of the amount of the amount of really meticulous meanest and conniving and cunning around just controlling and manipulating social dynamics and really they’re kind of big just want to figure out who the alpha is and then follow orders and instead get shit time and that’s that makes it a lot simpler so you know that’s kind of the kind of funny that way but more and more I have just covered these incidences where women who are arising in two forms of benevolent leadership and trying to get you know build brands or build movements or build organizations there is just as some this competition in the sort of you know prom queen pageant really vitriol that happens and I just feel like there’s a way for everybody to win and to rotate positions of being in the Limelight and that everyone can be brought up together and that the only true hierarchy that I believe in is like one of Merit and an elder ship and you should be able to salute your elders if they’ve gone further down a path in you and the people that want to just cheat and cut in line and take what they have an urn it’s it’s important to I don’t know how to reconfigure some of the stuff and then just bring it to the light and so you know when you see when you made that that post you know I wouldn’t I wouldn’t necessarily want to get too specific about places and things that you know are I really would would expose anybody’s weaknesses or or what not but it’s just a general Trends in and how we react to it and what the solution can be and just being aware of it because a lot of people I think just to see everything is isolated instances and made her take a side or they don’t but the patterns are the bigger patterns are really corrosive to the harmony that were really trying to create an end what you’re doing I believe is extremely important it’s so pivotal so the people that was specially the women who are doing Really Brave and paradigm-shifting in and really threatening to The Establishment in the status quo. The women are doing those kind of tasks and that kind of work I feel like deserve extra support and extra humility when people are working and in service to just really understand that you know hey if you were some how to say it like a Logging Company Executives and you know you were Shady poisoning rivers and stuff then by all means you should be you should be treated accordingly by disgruntled employees but you know if you’re trying to fight the good fight and do something good I would hope that people would have a different approach to knowing that that also goes for single mothers by sea men and relationships with single mothers and they just put themselves first and I just can’t I can’t believe stuff like that happening just absence of awareness at work how how difficult it is to be a woman in this patriarchy and entrepreneur or mother or mother an entrepreneur and it’s like where where are the Warriors going up to understand this disorder from the needs of stuff so that’s that’s my kind of long intro perspective on why I wanted to reach out again cuz we had just talked to him recently but I saw that and it was I was in a place where I had just been in in the depths of being aware of a of a a really corrosive kind of meltdown in a community and I seems like it happens every day so we just got to talk about it and get some awareness out and I’m very grateful for you even allowing me to have a platform to speak on this because I’ve been dealing it with it my whole life starting with my mother and it’s it’s it I think that’s actually the roots of women’s insecurities women do with the way that that I’ve seen the whole female and jealousy turning into trying to hurt this person who’s usually oblivious to it it’s you know it sounds from from the mall you know and like I talk about this openly with my eating disorder that that I’ve had actually I think you know in an interview and you know I just never felt good enough I just never felt like you know I was enough for her I always felt like you know she was just like Ultra perfectionist with me and I had to really like always try to be like as good as I can and it was never enough you know and like I just wasn’t a valued person because I didn’t you know clean the floor while or I didn’t you know it like 4 years old you know clean the bathroom while like literally any better and there is actually a lot of like good that came in it because I work really hard but at the same time like just that subconscious psychology you know like that’s their you know and that’s something that I’ve had to work with at least between me and me and not messing with my mom but just my own internal relationship that I have with women you know and that’s kind of where I believe this starts from and a lot of the women that I have been encounters with in regards to this have had similar stories and you know it’s really sad because what I see what happens is that there’s a lot of unconscious projecting of this unhealed wounds and it doesn’t have to just be with the mother it could if it may not be at all but that’s usually what I seen it could it could be you know another really deep seeded world if it could be you know sexual molestation you know we talked about that it could be it could be so many different range of things where the woman just didn’t feel adequate enough and now she feels like you know what she sees another woman striving it’s almost like it brings up that insecurity in her that she hasn’t resolved yet and she actually sees her as like a Target as like an enemy of someone who’s trying to put her down she is really really unconscious and the most fascinating part about this is that is usually happens between women who admire each other you know that’s usually how it starts and that’s something that I’ve seen in just like my own friendship so I just talked to my friends being like hey like this happen to me and showing while that happened to me too and it was usually with someone who admire them and then you know like things get really sensitive and you can feel it you know like as women like everything is so like detail and so specific to the body language and to the energy being projected and the smallest little thing a woman will pick up as as being you know and sometimes she’s not trying to hurt you but the woman who’s being is not necessarily trying to hurt her friend she’s for example maybe saying hey you know I think blah blah blah or not to give to any specific examples but you know it could be seen like her opinion of something very likely feel like when it has nothing to do with with the woman’s insecurities can actually threatened her you know can actually you know if she feels like you know hey I think I’m going to win this competition I think I’m going to do this I think I’m going to be able to write this book I think I’m going to be able to you don’t have this project I think I’m going to be able to something that’s just like it can trigger that insecurity that she hasn’t met yet and now she can become a Target unfortunately and it’s usually you know both of them are usually on especially the woman who is really just trying to do her thing you know and she thinks she has the support her friend and it’s just so sad you know one of the things I really wanted to emphasize when talking to you was my experience in turkey that I had with 30 women I was doing a Yoni egg Retreat it was one of the best experiences of my life and it was one of the best examples that I’ve seen of Sisterhood in my life it was in it was in the Middle East and it was a women who are Muslim and you know you would you would think that women who are sexually repressed it was it was so fascinating to me you know cuz this culture is is is genuinely sexually repressed you know women are sexy and you know even like female genital mutilation is like ramp it over there and you know there’s so many issues revolving not just sexual empowerment but just female empowerment. You know but what’s what was so fascinating was it was the first Workshop or an in this case it was a weekend you know Sacred Circle and it was the first time that they all wanted to put their Yoni eggs together you know holding hands being together 30 women I’ve never had that experience in my life every single time and just to give you know everybody I guess the history on what I do I’ve been obsessed with with Yoni egg you know wisdom and in the practice because of how is really need to bring healing into my life and going back to my eating disorder using Yoni breathing so that’s usually what I do you know I’m in my circles that I’ll post a Yoni breathing meditation a Yoni egg you know like educational you know you know few hours of it depending on how long the workshop is and then we’ll go into actually putting the egg in and doing yoga with it you know so I was going to do the same thing in the circle and everybody has their egg and I was like okay one of the time we’re going to go to the bathroom and they were like no no no that doesn’t feel right there were like we need to put this in together and you know there was probably like three or four women in the group who really were not comfortable with that and they all paid a lot of money like to be there I mean I flew out there you know so it was it was like women were really really serious about doing this they came forward pay for the weekend event and and now they’re sitting the circle and a few of them a handful or like I don’t really feel comfortable doing this all the women like literally like stood up like they sat down with them they looked at them in their faces how are you going to come here and and not take advantage of this opportunity to really confront your fear which is now being you know manifest after you not wanting to put in your a was like they were so direct and they were so like in their face but with so much love and I was like I wouldn’t even have done that I have I have not felt that level of Sisterhood in person at least it was just so profound I just felt so grateful to witness. And you know they peer pressure them in and they did it and they were they all at the end we’re happy that they did it together that brings tears to my eyes cuz I’m I’m watching the mental movie of this unites your speaking word by word and and that every every detail you just share. It just breaks off my heart because what I what I hear and feel and sense from that is that the confidence they had to confront that was the confidence you would have to remove a parasite from your flesh like as if it was part of you as if they were one being and they were identifying what was not working about their Collective unified sense of health and wellness and it’s just like you wouldn’t hesitate to intervene if something was out of whack with your personal body and and it’s a different it’s not like they were trying to get them get her to do drugs or to do something that would put her you know of that different kind of but this kind of peer pressure where it’s kind of like a symbiotic unified sense of Consciousness that’s another level so thank you for sharing I really and really hit me in the woman… Women that were opposed to it initially they mentioned being raped they mentioned having you know vaginal pain on a regular thing they’ve mentioned miscarriages they’ve mentioned on healthy you know Intimate Relationships I mean an end to have that bravery and love to sit down with their sister and almost almost kind of force them to do it you know there were like we’re doing this and you’re going to do it with us and we love you and it’s just going to happen and you’re going to have to step up and you know do it nnn because it just seems so culturally acceptable to to already have that stamps like that’s what I get this when I saw it was already like such a mugshot like matriarchal hype energy like already slick so present the women just yelled it and and they didn’t even really argue they didn’t even say well you’re not respect no it was like they didn’t even really say anything they just didn’t it you know and and at the end you know I was I was so perplexed by this at the end I obviously you know I was like hey how does everybody feel you know where where where is everybody right now you know we did have a prayer circle literally holding hands as we were putting the egg in believe it or not like this is the first time you know I was I was really able to take it to this level and it was transformational even for me you know as someone who’s been doing this at that time it was already like 6 years in volume 100. You know and it was it was it was profound I have never really experienced that end in I yearn for that other woman I actually urine for that level of Sisterhood as a woman who who believe that this is you know I think that’s some of the issues that that are coming up with this and I do think that this is more of like a contemporary like American thing cuz like I said the only time I’ve seen different was in the Middle East and even when I go back home to South America rice when I go back home to Columbia The Hit The Sisterhood there is very strong as well I’ve never actually let a Yoni egg Circle in Columbia cuz I’m usually there with my family and you know during Christmas and and I just haven’t had that opportunity yet but but I do think that this is more of like a present-day you know independent woman you know I want my own opinions on things which is which is totally valid and and and we’re fighting the good fight like you’d like you opened up you know saying you don’t like where and it’s unfortunate that we even see it as a fight but I think that that is part of the issue I think that you know we just feel so entitled to our own and we’re really forgetting that we need to munity and I was actually just listening this morning I was soaking in the tub and I was listening to dr. Northrup dr. Christiane Northrup audiobook she’s actually running the forward to the second edition of my book how to use the unit for central healing which I’m like super honors reservations thank you thank you so much she mentioned basically that’s what heals addiction is community you know like any any addiction she was mentioning countless examples of of different you know experiments and surveys and and their word is all leading to the same thing both experiments and in you know what people and even animals and how call basically like you can give heroin to like a rabbit and you know like the only thing that’s going to win it off of it is if they actually get touch and affection and that stimulation as opposed to just being stimulated you know and so I think it’s that is similar that’s similar to what you know what we’re talking about right now is that the wound that inspires female animosity and in jealousy and you know hopefully hopefully we won’t need to let you know hurting them but that it does happen a lot I really do think it’s it’s it is the community you know and the best example that I can give was the one that I had in Istanbul and you know really accepting women’s like really accepting your sisters were you know because at least for me that would Inspire that post that that inspired now this interview was that I actually was trying to hold one of my friends accountable for something in a similar fashion you know I was really just trying to say hey I love you but it has to be this way or no way you know like this is this is how I do things and I can’t change that and if you don’t want to do that that’s fine but I just can’t continue forward you know in this relationship and that transpired targeting I mean I don’t want to give examples but unfortunately I do think that that is necessary like it can get so you can you can you can try to like the woman in survival you know she’s really trying to protect this wound that hurts so much and it and I really do think that it’s worse than patriarchy is worse than than even male oppression you know even though I I I think that historically that women have these wounds because we have been oppressed in general in the power and I do that I do think it’s related but you know when when you don’t have anybody you know when you don’t even have it for example going back to patriarchy and and female animosity when you don’t have anybody you at least your sister you know and if you don’t even have that you know it’s it’s it’s it’s a really sad world and women really need each other like there’s no other way for women to actually get into Power you know even if it’s just self-empowerment it doesn’t have to be running the company could just having self-esteem you know self-esteem and having self-confidence you know you really do need the blessing of a woman even the even you know even if it’s just saying hey you know I see you you know something like that and you can still make your choices and Go in different ways but with respect and that’s something that that a lot of women that I have been talking to I talked to him I talked to a lot of women on a daily basis since many years ago I get calls daily at least sometimes up to 10:15 calls a day usually on average it’s like one or two you know maybe three and it’s usually around the Yoni egg that usually leads into a conversation about why she’s getting it that’ll lead into the top two reasons that I’ve heard why women get you any accidents to heal sexual trauma you know and usually women don’t have anyone to talk to about it with so this is this is going really deep and yeah I almost like I’m going to cry because it’s I hear your voice yeah please and take take a few breaths so I’ll chime in a bit and just kind of add what I can to this from my perspective for for a minute yeah it’s really demoralizing when people who you allow Into Your Inner Circle who are able to know so much about all your weaknesses and all of your vulnerabilities and your passwords and you are everything in a business it’s it’s the words it’s the worst case scenario one of the worst case scenario is to to extend trust and acceptance in and faith and take a risk and gamble with just integrating new people and trying to be open and receptive than and then not being able to always Comfort people at the level needed to keep them feeling very secure about their role in organization about their future about you know they’re there their they’re good standing and what not and I know it’s just a pattern inside of all of us the Wii Wii character caricature eyes them with the cartoon idea of demons but if you just want to think about fine negative thought-forms if I realize I feel like that it’s like a formula bit the the more time a person spends like you’re saying untouched or uncared-for in a communal kind of ceremonial affirming of all the relationships like refreshing and rebooting all of the Dynamics of relationships and some kind of beautiful ceremony that’s really bonding and unifying like every second from the end of one of those like in your Workshop or you could be a psychedelic ceremony or someone in ceremony as like as soon as walks away from that moment of unity immediately those mind we’d start to grow and those everybody is starting to be possessed and and and deceived by thoughts of their own betrayal or just to sort of General paranoia that comes from you know really like you said childhood being never being we never condition to receive an adequate amount of of affection in group sort of community ritualistic bonding initiations excetera excetera you can compare to other cultures but it’s it’s such a it is time to me I see the solution is being well if we’re so depleted and we’re so prone to become so shadowy when we don’t feel really connected with each other then we just have to accelerate the frequency of those bonding experiences to offset that that pattern and if so if you let people just sort of fade into their own mindscape they’re susceptible to attack and you don’t know who they are the next day they could have had a million thoughts of insecure and it just builds and builds a compounding interest and snowballs and then it blows up and if somebody is I mean I’ll say it in my case I experienced that I think we all experienced that sensitive like who who deserves to be the I mean I don’t want to be at the top of anything I don’t want to be the necessary the best anything I would just like to really be financially free and independent and just in my zone kind of like gardening and talking and hanging out with cool people that I enjoy but I don’t I’m not trying to be really to the alpha or the the King of the Hill or that you know whatever but but even just in the field and I see different you know you any Bits & bytes impossible to resist the urge to compare yourself to anyone else is trajectory and say you know whose work harder to earn this or that title or or not end up minutes normal but and I feel like it’s it’s I’m aware of that myself and there’s but there’s a difference between acting out those thoughts and feelings and then actually having a really self critical analysis for you’re like yeah this thing the stuff like I do not want this to to actually transmit through my mouth or through my words are on social media I don’t want to become a troll online I don’t want to poison the community I want to deal with this stuff you know in with with a real confidential counselor or you know I’m totally private or just between me and giving it up to the goddess and some sort of purging ceremony but know how fragile all of these Dynamics are and really trusting you know that we can all come up together so I don’t know if that any of that stuff you know resonates with you if you want to respond to any of those thoughts conversation is very delicate because to some extent both sides are valid you know they’re there are wounds that have not been healed or SEALS or even acknowledged but we have to be very aware as as we become more conscious about why we feel the way we feel and then why we may be projecting those feelings that way that we are and why we may be projecting them to certain people I think that that’s where the introspection comes in what one of the best ways to deal with these situations is really not to take it personally in to see that the woman has a bloom and for it to for you to have complete compassion for her I mean that’s been the only thing that’s ever really helps me you know even with the women that I felt that have betrayed me you know in the past close personal friends close personal girlfriend you know that I open up my heart my home 2 and the only thing that I can really tell women that has helped me is basically saying that hey this woman obviously has she don’t wanna wear how she’s projecting it and you know how he meant compassion for her because she really needs it that’s really the only thing that’s going to actually help both people you know one of the things that happened to me recently that I also talked about in social media that relates to this a lot that I think would be very helpful for women is I was actually out of I don’t I don’t know if you like Tony Robbins I I know he’s going through a lot of stuff right now with the song me too movement and everything yes I agree I agree I think he’s a wonderful person I think he has a lot to learn in that regard but I could do still think he’s a wonderful person and I do admire him so I found a couple months ago and I you know why I got like there was like sixteen sixteen thousand people there you know what I save money and everything I went and I saw him and I sat in the first row right so I fly out to like La I’m in Vegas lights go out from Vegas to LA and it was like the whole thing for me I went to lie by myself it was like like my own personal like like business vacation thing I was just so excited and you know I’m going there and I am in the first row he’s about to step out there all these leading up people you know for like two days leading up to Tony Robbins and you know so it’s it’s finally time that he comes out on stage and they have fire they have like all these things like in anticipation of her coming out so as as I’m sure you can imagine your people get out of their seats and it was almost like a concert like people like stand up against the stage you know and you know so I got up and I was and the woman next to me blonde woman probably middle-aged you’re so tall beautiful woman she says to me she said don’t stand so close to my husband so mind you this was extraordinary crowded I shouldn’t even notice that she was sick but but she or her husband were even right there you know I wasn’t interested in looking at her husband but you know again she was projecting her insecurity and fear that I was standing close proximity to him I’m totally oblivious to the whole thing I see instantly what’s going on because I was out because I was so oblivious and she was so passionate about it I was like well it’s obvious and I was so excited but I had really know like I almost Chuckles you know what I mean like I was I was kind of like like wow this is so silly you know so I just looked at her and I said I said listen you are so beautiful and you have nothing to worry about like it was something like I was just so like last two days ago about it you know and she literally like it was like she wasn’t expecting that at all I’m 29 she was she was middle-aged I understand like that and that’s that’s usually that’s the classic typical scenario you know when it comes to this female animosity thing you know and so really I what I what I said a woman is you have to really have that level of it just going right over you you know that was like you know it and I was so grateful that happened the way it did because it was such a great example now you know and I have to admit you know if I was in a sour mood or something I would have probably gotten said I would have you know it would have been different but because like I mean I invested so much to go to I was so excited to see him to see Tony Robbins it was like it was like I was just so grateful that I was able to actually like how that experience actually you know and she actually sat down like she actually ended up sitting down and she was totally you know it was diffused so yeah that’s a real example for women if it’s if you’re ever caught in a situation which like I said is very popular unfortunately maybe that’s something we can talk about as well I don’t know if this had you know that I’m sure you’ve experienced in various degrees I don’t know how recently necessarily but just in general it seems like I mean if you could if you could make a just off the top of your head up your head a sort of General list of most sort of thumb most damaging to least damaging like sort of a handful of the issues that come up and I’m just wondering like for me I would imagine I’m just Ramon experience tears I may have seen them I’ve seen the most literally psychotic behavior violent psychotic behavior they could get people in prison for felony assault and things like that is spitting me all the Jerry Springer stuff not to be crude about it but really it’s like the the fighting over the modern patriarchal construct of a man as the the only legally bound entity that is responsible after becoming a baby daddy to pay child support and whatnot so they’re fighting over the scarcity of the economic security of a having a man is seems to be a huge culprit and then runnin down the list in my mind is is just things like who is the most influential women amongst Tech circle of friends or within it some sort of organization and then you know how women are constantly comparing each other and throwing throwing each other under the bus routes of to whatever the beauty standards does your are and then I don’t know if so what would you say a man just to kind of for people to especially man who maybe aren’t clued into this and they just play whatever they’re doing they’re playing video games and not and not paying attention but how do we in my spiritual practice is that we are when we are at our best we are when we really like really deal with those ones that we can actually radiates we are like the beauty of who we are resources come come to us like almost almost you know without effort like we don’t we’re actually like pushing some away cuz it’s like okay there’s so much coming at you you know like when you’re really radiating it doesn’t matter how old you are it doesn’t matter your ethnicity or anything like that like when you are really vibrating a high-level you attract people to you you know you attract resources and those are resources you’re attracting friendships you’re attracting you know all of this energy to you and what’s interesting in the example that you were talking about like in peace Sharky and you know men wanting to take the lead and and all of that is that usually women are the proxy to a man’s power like where the symbol of a man’s power you know it is is that you should listen and that essence you know we’ve been really giving our power to manage by putting other women down through this female enema putting other women down through through these scenarios that we talked about we actually still are feeding the Beast you know like we’re actually you know Sisterhood is probably the best way of healing this whole female oppression you know like that that’s that’s been what I’ve seen that’s like an in and I’m I’m really kind of having like a piffany with all of these experiences that I’ve had with women in in this topic you know because like for example going back to the woman at the swing Robbins event you know without me really knowing she may not have that she you know she she may think twice again about you know what a woman stands close to her her husband trying to be like oh you know what you know I don’t have anything to lose I’m good you know your life forever and that’s how how Robbins ask of you to insert that neuro associative conditioning hack unplanned and I didn’t even like really know I didn’t even really think about it and then once I really thought about it I was like Wow and then I saw her when I see when I saw his text sit down I was like okay while like I think that this was a lot bigger than what I thought because it was almost like there was no no no defensiveness anymore it was completely I mean she got really close to me surrender I mean she actually stopped at that point you know probably was her insecurities the whole time is that she was out of her feminine you know and not knowing it you know like not really knowing that she was out of her feminine cuz she was in this defensive you know fight fight or flight mode and responsiveness and reaction in all of that so so yeah I mean women women really when you stepping into your family than you really know who you are and you can really be honest about your wounds and actually would like an open heart and have compassion for the people that have really betrayed you because it’s happened so many times and I can’t even even with you let you know this is happened I have a lot of women the reason why I was so inspired to talk about this is because I have so many women say to me and sometimes I don’t I’m not even talking about this mention that they just don’t trust women they don’t trust the intentions and they are scared of even having female friendships because of this pattern I mean it’s real it’s an all of us you know like if it’s one person it’s the tribe you know and it’s really a societal issue that I think needs more attention I think patriarchy is obviously a big thing but I actually don’t think that this gets talked about enough in regards to how this is actually causing some of the problem you know some of the problem with what we’re trying to really resolve which is you know women being finally in a place of respect . You know and so yeah like like this this conversation right here is for us for women who really have put up that front you know they want Sisterhood they want they want connection they want to feel safe they want to feel secure in a circle in a group and they’re having problems with it because it says this has happened to them so many times and it’s almost like a trauma will you say another effectors is it a when would say I love you talking about the radiance because it’s it’s really not you can’t really fake that you know me it’s pretty it’s pretty transparent when you try to fake it but when when you’re in the zone and you are radiating and you have spiritual practices and sexual cultivation practices then then you’re absolutely right here at your high vibrating bright magnet for all things sometimes. Sometimes you can bad things in people’s people who were wanting to Nestle up today energy who haven’t kick-started it in themselves or boots to have to hit rather but I feel like something maybe a pattern is also that when people who have been in that survival mode and that defensive mode their whole Lives who won to be empowered in community and Sisterhood or Brotherhood when they have access to the authentic energy the first time they met know there’s voices inside I’m going to last the bubbles going to burst this isn’t real I can’t trust this this is a scam I’m being manipulated and then those voices take over and say you just you just sabotage the golden opportunity and if you would have just done some of the maybe the practices you know the grounding practices and the are so many ways that we can set that is precisely what starts female animosity is actually getting that opportunity believe it or not actually getting that opportunity and and it actually measuring up and it actually being authentic the more authentic it is the more painful it is it’s it’s it’s so complex wow it’s so complex and if so in what did Jesus say he said by the end of the night one of you is going to betray me and he I mean you have to have that level of I mean it’s it’s it’s it’s it’s really that historical I mean it really really is I mean even Jesus like I said if Jesus crucified by one of his beloved mean it’s it’s really up for it I mean anybody can go through this do you know speaking about yeah in the in Mary magdalene’s gospels are there per se at one of the one of the Dead Sea Scrolls that revealed evidence in multiple fragments but evidence that that they were lovers the Jesus and Mary were lovers and that she was not a prostitute though I don’t have any problem with that myself but I know there was this bitter and broiled bitterness amongst the mail disciples who that they were lamenting that they would Jesus preferred her and he loves to kiss her on the and then they blank that out but we have to assume it wasn’t the hand John Lennon sing and her for the Beatles breaking up you know she was totally responsible which gives her a lot of power you know nnn in many people’s eyes she is responsible and that is again that’s like that negative like you’re giving her you’re giving her that power that you know she really liked even if she was the reason you know that is that is that so much power you know right there and you’re actually not looking at the man and saying you know you had any power at all I mean you’re actually disempowering him completely and giving her all the power and you don’t even know you’re doing that you know by like blaming her and like you know you know Jesus leaving or whatever that the story was you know so it was like like we have to heal our wounds or else we’re actually really going to be first really pushing away we really what we really want which is Union you want connection I mean that’s how are telomeres Grohl I can epigenetics like it’s even study that you have longer life span based on the length of the telomeres which are at the end of your chromosomes and you know it’s it’s through really feeling this like full expression of who you are you know in connection to basically your environment you know and so that’s like that’s that’s what this is about and by pushing it away we’re actually again we’re feeding that that that monster that is actually creating the illusion just Connection in the first place you know we’re actually getting into that without install unconscious and it’s so like I really don’t think it’s talked about enough so you know and at least for me like where I see the most is that we could be because I’m a woman but it’s in my email relationships you know that’s where I’ve seen it the most played and it happens really fast and see it happened really quickly you know a woman gets The Other Woman sees her a friend a close friends another good thing in this whole really hit home for a lot of my Latino sisters or know anyone who admired Selena best friend and she was like her one of her she was she was a co-worker but she was like leaving like her fans like this fans Department you know for like years and years and years of Janet up literally because of jealousy chilling her you know and now has like a martyr you know so it’s like you can’t really kill the spirit of the person anyway like that at the end of the day you can’t the jealousy isn’t going to sabotage them it’s not going to I mean it may it may be painful for the for the person but it’s not you’re not actually doing anything with this you’re actually just again feeding its really self-sabotage are really hurting yourself cuz he’s in jail for life you know and she still holds true to her story that you know it was because Selena did blah blah blah you know so she’s still holding on to that that Peter patter you know what I mean it’s it’s it’s a root chakra a juvenile thing you know and hopefully with this conversation absolutely yeah you know something comes up as you’re saying that to for me is I’m really glad I was really powerfully imprinted by the movie La Bamba when I was really young kid and it puts into perspective that sibling rivalry over success and opportunity and and as I watch that movie again as I’ve grown and I see the threads about Shamanism and just the fracturing of culture through enslavement to the agricultural system and I know the Bob the brother becomes a biker drug dealer and and he wasn’t given as much attention by the father cuz he was a step sign and you see Richie being such a authentic pure-hearted loving soul gentleman and in the end he was rewarded karmically it seems by all of his virtue and all of his righteousness and nobody would just sink further and further into the Vicious Cycle of resentment and self-destruction inverse almost proportionally to the success of his brother and wow what a what a lot I can say. You know if anybody anybody is a male wants to watch that to get it a real good sense of the male side of this girl recommended and you know something else I’m thinking as you’re speaking is it if I had all the time in the world I wouldn’t hurt your everybody into you know just just tickle them with words and affection until there’s just nothing but absurd Bliss coming out of them and unfortunately the biggest problem is we have no time to pay attention to really drop in to address people so everybody expects that oh yeah we’re all supposed to get up by an alarm clock and rush to get ready to go and be somewhere at work or do whatever and it’s there’s not enough time for even almost not enough time for personal hygiene let alone hygienic romantic relationships let alone that multiple Dynamics amongst people who are all struggling a different stages of wealth in call Cyn Love & Eric’s it’s this is not have time so how do we create more time out of buffer that those the time scarcity you know working from home is a good way to start directions I mean that’s a whole nother conversation I feel like I have a lot to say that I could say about it but does topic it’s it’s really close and dear to my heart I’m hosting I will say this I am hosting a sister Circle in honor of Union in Sisterhood on the summer solstice of this year is going to be I’m actually hosting a retreat is going to be June 22nd through the 24th here in Las Vegas and you can get more information on my website Union grace.com but it’s going to be actually hell’s specifically on June 23rd which was or which is my grandmother’s birthday and she’s like the highest example that I’ve ever had in my life and female you know reads like Angelic like Grace you know like a woman like just always Serene in the midst of a storm like just complete like I mean I owe you know so I’m so grateful that I’m going to be able to actually commemorate her on this special day really like hosting a prayer circle during this retreat in Las Vegas again June 22nd to the 24th of this year 2018 so awesome awesome yeah if you and we got another few minutes to go and be great to just say some words of prayer as you know for all the men lie women who have wandered away from the campfire of Sisterhood and community and are just I mean once you kind of burn Bridges and then you’re left alone it can only get worse from there so I will just pray that reconciliation occurs really as fast as humanly possible and then don’t just you know tear up a whole community and then sneak off into a new location where your unknown and just repeat the patterns and really try to find the people who were who are willing to provide the empathy and compassion has to be my formative words you have any other everything just want to share advice and share for people on both sides you don’t people being victimized by a sort of saboteurs he’s unconscious territories and then the saboteurs themselves what do they do next after they burn Bridges what about the male role when it comes to female animosity like like men don’t usually pick up on those little things because it’s such a it can happen so fast women and I think really the best thing to do is always acknowledge both parties always what you said you know reconciliation compassion you’re really kind of being someone who can hold like a safe container as a neutral party but by both like acknowledging both and holding accountable both parties I think that that would be like if that’s if that’s if any man feels lead to actually do that between two women I mean you would really be doing a huge you know so I suppose I feel like maybe it dates me to say this but but back in my day everybody especially women kept a private Journal where they processed their emotions and then they would look back on stuff and they will be like oh my God I can’t believe I was thinking that I was so wrong it was only like a day later that the truth was actually revealed I’m so glad I didn’t flip out because I would have lost everything but now people spew their first reaction to things online which lasts forever and creates massive multi cascading black magic effects and then you can’t undo that damage you can’t say oops I was wrong I’m so sorry and because you have to defend yourself and you just constantly become more fortified and defensive about positions that you took when you could have just you know put it into your private journal and do the exercise of writing something out so you can make sense of it and connect the dots and go while I’m actually really a reading and pack I’m actually completely irrational about this and maybe I’ll just like ripped a page shot in Burnet or just I didn’t really well and so I don’t know I hope that that that can be a thing of great. oh yeah I’m so grateful then thank you for allowing me to come on and talk about this and hopefully you know you to continue to do what you’re doing a good way and shift the Paradigm and bring more more beautiful I think just you know postage posting pictures of what works and then letting that that vibration radiates through I’m really moved by that seeing a lot of his nude yoga action throughout the world and just seeing a bunch of women creating Mondelez together all smiling and laughing and you know honoring their teacher in really yeah I’m just the harmony is it possible in and I’ve seen you know through timeshare through yoga and sacred sexuality and you swim in circles and there’s a lot of it I am thrilled to be in this time I mean rock on thank you so much I was so awesome so you only grace.com any other places that people should go or just go there and get connected with everything craze it was recently recently I ain’t it was my name Grace Diaz but I actually just changed it to Yummy Grace so you can do a lot of the Yoni egg practices and you breathing practices so how to use the Yoni egg for Central healing everyone check it out and men are never going to go back this sets the standard this these practices so please you know don’t wait till about don’t wait till Valentine’s Day make everyday Valentine’s Day and get yourself on board with this definitely still talk to you soon you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Rancho Park. Com

Confronting Monsters in the Bedroom with Courtney Cleman TPP113

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Courtney Cleman picIn this episode I’m joined by prominent sex blogger Courtney Cleman who has co-developed a compelling approach to confronting monsters in the bedroom. She goes over a list of negative self-limiting attitudes, behaviors, and habits that overshadow many love lives in the modern world. We have a great time comparing notes and connecting dots to reveal how a lot of the sexual insecurities and vulnerabilities of women actually apply to men as well.

About Courtney:

Courtney Cleman is a co-founder of Kate & Courtney, a NYC-based concept dedicated to empowering men, women, and couples with the knowledge to create fulfilling and lasting romantic bonds.
The two women behind the concept are experienced relationship and sex coaches who believe that through support, education, empowerment, and a little laughter, you can find the love and passion you deserve and hold onto it for a lifetime. They view sex and true intimacy as the cornerstones of a supportive, playful, and sexy bond between two people who deeply love each other. When you have a strong foundation in your relationship, then you will be happier, more confident, and feel more powerful – and when you feel that way, there’s nothing you can’t accomplish in your personal and professional life.
Kate & Courtney’s unique program has helped over 100,000 women in Europe understand their partners and themselves, solve sexual health and psychological issues, attract the ‘one’, and build deeply satisfying, lasting relationships. Kate & Courtney are opening their new NYC-based location in September 2017. You can also find their real-world, practical advice on sex and intimacy on kateandcourtney.com.

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin I want their beloveds welcome to Township on podcast episode number 113 I’m here with Courtney kleeman the co-founder of Kate and Courtney it’s a Blog all about sexual empowerment for women and three much for everybody to explore sexuality education in a new and modern way and they’re also going to be starting up some in person and built such a sex education coaching work in New York soon and so we’re going to hear all about the story of how they blast them together into this form into the media space and also was planning for the future so if you would Courtney please said give us a bit of background and how you what led you to this pass Highland thanks so much I’m Courtney and I’m very excited to participate in the founder of Kate and Courtney and where in New York City law say at this point and I’m late summer this year and started because my business partner and your friends cheat and I looked around and we thought women Dorothy Day have a lot of issues going on a long time and you know it’s just not very very sad and we think there’s a real job in sex education for adults and personally decayed and me we believe that the foundation of happiness is really not typically good at having intimacy with strong and long-lasting so how about them with signs Bay practical real-world advice on how to enjoy sex enjoy intimacy parlay that into a long-lasting happy relationship if that’s what you want and if you want something and be free with yourself because you know about an orgasm it’s pretty much the big the best medicine you can buy for so many reasons thank you so much for doing that important work I’m definitely more finding myself in the alternative on the alternate spectrum and there’s kind of a tenancy amongst people who are more biggest poly or or her open to sort of get build a really positional kind of space where it’s it’s it is almost over or projection on the people who want to sustain long-term monogamous pair-bonded relationships and it’s it’s kind of a false dichotomy you don’t have to be in Warren camps of the transit the old Paradigm in the new paradigm where it’s just there’s a lot of binary thinking still that I’ve come across so I’m I’m I’m very interested to hear more about how you’re helping more I don’t want to see traditional but we could just call it just couples. You know couples that’s two people and they’re making a living together to sharing space usually coconut levitating and possibly building families and there’s a lot of challenges for that so what are some skill sets that you have found most useful in in helping equip couples move is to sexually and with their communication and in other other intimacy type of skills is a long-lasting relationship it doesn’t have to be monogamous actually it’s really what you’ll flavor of happiness in a relationship is their own set of issues but whether you are in a polyamorous relationship relationship to talk about we have the same key Concepts and then issues with intimacy you are article monsters in the bed and the most intriguing what I want to take Explorer with you you yeah definitely is that how we can resolve deeper wounds and traumas and conflicts in a conscious manner through sexual play and release and all that energy work exactly you know everybody has past experiences and all of us have some negative experiences does ideas and beliefs and and so we will we all have our flavor of issues with the article actually talked about and what you were just asked me about it common problems people have a common problem is with all his stuff orgasm people have a lot of issues about how do they work at they feel like it takes too long maybe maybe they only can orgasm I’m in 30 passes on to the partner so that the entire experience gets so that’s that’s something we talked to a lot of people about and really our message is there is no right way to orgasm and of course we can show you a lot of picnics how to great so do you want to come out line that article a bit or are we just going to mention the title but I would love to to have you you know share some of that and definitely get people excited about reading the whole thing but just kind of some some highlights from it will be great to talk to a lot of people on Cade has the first one is the orgasm images of a lot of women are and you really have to be in the moment and Body Image definition of small detail same way in fact I mean if you bring your energy bill if you just said and done to stay that way but that it’s important and get over the body and then I think it impact men and women equally and you know there’s a lot of research on that but ultimately you just have to be confident that you’re confident shut the bleep terrible insect I mean I’m not even sure that it said but we can definitely talk a lot more that’s hardest year for the little lighter there from past experiences with a lot of people have trust issues I’m in a very difficult to enjoy sexual experience if you don’t trust another person because is all about your vulnerable and being able to be letting call if you don’t trust it not possible that you guys are important creature creature is the bag I don’t want to go down on you and then you think everyone is going to but it is being out in the moment And1 hang up and ask negatively impact your ability stop in Tennessee weather yeah me too it seems it seems like they are all vying for power in in the moment sort of rotating between each other or they’re fighting each other to get the key to get in the cockpit of a consciousness of of the person you know if you have body image issues and will be very difficult to orgasm because you’re you’re thinking about your butt or something like that right so what are some of what what is some of the facts that you can come up with in a year is come from and I really do some cell therapy and convince yourself that it it doesn’t matter if it’s okay if you are perfect unless something hurt unless you really have physical pain on motion of pain you are perfect so I think it’s about doing the talking to people absolutely learn how to do this thing. If you have questions about passed on trying to conquer called what layer is it kind of getting in the way of us being happy and address it appropriately and you know Jerry Rice stats well you know something is coming to me is that the body is the body image issues usually it’s at 6 I guess it’s expected that a woman is going to be self-conscious about her body type shape color except for a visa fee whatever is in Vogue in the trans of modeling in music videos of what I’ve seen critiques and studies of the the time sort of a time lapse or a flipbook kind of experience what was considered x-rated almost going back to the earliest forms of Photography and it really started with the ankle and they were using ankles to advertise products in Richard Eight is Enough thank you for pretty well aware that in let’s say if I’m getting this right medieval times or in in previous errors with in Western culture it was sexualized to be voluptuous because that was a symbol of wealth and abundance financially where is if you were too thick thin that meant that you were emaciated and starving and therefore where have the lower class so it was completely inverted and then now I would say recently the rise of non-white new music artist let’s say to keep it pretty bride has his a new hourglass Renaissance that isn’t about course it’s actually about genetics and in only certain people women have The Hourglass genetics so there’s a market for butt implants and it’s just such a moving car and so much money is being made but I bet that’s all kind of say that you would have to be living under a rock not to see these the how you list leads to all kinds of body dysmorphic disorder is and you know the classic eating disorders and then now where where to put the implants and measuring yourself against all these things so that’s that’s pretty well-established for women but doesn’t get talked about probably as much as hell if you’re if you’re a man and you were tall and lanky or short and stocky and you don’t have a certain range of proportionality of your rib cage to your neckline to your the symmetry of your facial bones and all the ways things that would make you a Ken doll or whatever one of the action heroes or also a whole other obviously Marketplace for that but you how do you deal with men who have forms of real story about whether or not they have washboard abs or whether or not you know they’re there was light you know can you bring up a grade point because body image issues actually in popular men and women almost equally I just think that women are more likely there’s just more it’s more, maybe we’ll talk about how it impacts women and you know women are more likely to talk about it and it’s very Troublesome and actually they’re absolutely a lot of men taking a lot of a certain way and it’s you know it’s a vicious cycle right it’s really vicious cycle because you’ll all you will always be chasing the certain body type I’m trying to talk it out I’ll try to read about it and really realizing that it is not something you can never chase and it’s really by you energy and confident that’s what makes you sexy and that’s what that’s What Makes You popular and that’s what makes people gravitate towards you at all the time right with you having a pretty unsuccessful love life and it just tells you that it’s not about Judy but you know where is magazine some pictures and of course otherwise we’re just going to be chasing you know chasing something unattainable I need to see a lot of people do that relationship there in Tennessee and you know it and you know what you help that but it takes a little bit of time it’s not it’s not just one conversation usually well yeah this is deep study I definitely want to spend the time on this end and was something that came to mind for me was just this I think it was in the early 90s hit we came out it was a film called singles and it was based in the East remember that it wasn’t it was like the Seattle music scene kind of think of the grass area in and they had all these different people who were living in the same apartment building and some of them were sort of hooking up and phasing in and out of things and always different character archetypes for love and relationship said and it was genius I I feel and there was there was one line that comes to mind is app for this conversation which is when there’s a whole story there’s a hoe separate 7 storyline of one of the one of the women feeling like she had two smaller breasts and so she went to go and see around house the doctor said no you’re perfect the way you are and you know this guy is he mr. Ryder mr. maybe and maybe you know you should accept yourself as you are and and I was feeling any soccer transform one of the things that happened that was revealing was it to her Rock rocker boyfriend and his name I think it was Matt Dillon bachelor’s Nigella that’s right she said she asked him when he had all these hourglass Amazon Women posters all over his walls and she would just see them feel dwarfed and insecure in an inadequate and so she actually asked him on my breast too small for you and he gave her an honest answer and said sometimes and yeah it was comedic moment cuz he was kind of built that he was meant to be, no fish. Not not so much a douchebag and his own world and not turned into seeing check for sensitive but if I I could say that I’ve experienced the same bias from the other direction but you said are my muscles big enough for you and the answer is sometimes you know so it’s interesting how that you’re working on it makes me feel that if there is too if there is a dynamic that was spoken about but it’s it’s somewhat it could be equal then what was the harm in okay you get to have a Chippendale stripper for your birthday and I get to have a Playboy bunny stripper for my birthday and that outlet is that something that you could have come across this allowing couples to you know fill in the gaps in ways that are healthy and not don’t involve dishonesty or cheating absolutely absolutely people should have a safe and honest relationship now absolutely to them some couples having an orgasm there’s no right way to do it as long as it stays and I believe it’s actually becoming more and more common to have a more open relationship make it easier to meet people enjoy coming back to stay together for a long time because you are absolutely true and honest and we tend to be very embarrassed about it and this is one of the reasons why because we make people happy or whatever your Flavor of Love infection so yes if you want to enjoy things yesterday I definitely Korean so this is would be a paradigm shift for most people to the unspoken assumption is that once you make a commitment to be in a relationship then fruit for most people the way we were literally programmed is that what that commitment means is that I will no longer fantasize pursue think about desire anyone other than you and if I do it’s just it’s breaking our commitment it’s being it’s it’s the form of infidelity even if you’re not married but that’s sort of the standard narrative about it but what what it could be in sin still actually support in a firm couples I think the swingers have been research about how swingers swinging for example as you live longer and your relationships your primary last longer because a year or more if you’re going out and meeting new people and being sexually adventurous with new people you’re going to stay fit you’re going to not just let yourself grow you know and text so I’m taking I’m just let myself go cuz they’re stuck with me and nuts bad habits that can happen when you give up when you stop trying to impress people so that that’s one dimension of it and then I couldn’t agree with you more I couldn’t agree with you more and you know they’ve been numerous studies done about having a support having Social Circle having a support system having a big part of something highly correlated to how long you live so this is your group if you were part of this group and absolutely asked to your house because you are you know what pack animals with I couldn’t agree more right on well yeah this is this is good so it’s whatever is hearing this and is feeling stuck or limited it doesn’t that you don’t have to make the most extreme your shifts right away but just to be able to say no here’s what I feel inadequate about I mean there’s women who I wish I could say to them is it really because you want me to be more muscular cuz I can go do that or week I’ll find a wingman who’s more muscular but we have such an important part connection white white white give that up and then you’re going to complain to me later about how you’re you’re you’re in the cycle of dating bad boy douchebags who fuck you over and he likes it or not so nice guy problems department and I’m trying to sell this while we’re at locate and I are huge fans of nice of nice guys that when people say I want this. Of the other and it has to do with something something superficial it’s an ultimately communication actually resolve everything so I told me think about it shut up I’m in everybody fantasizes everyone has their personal desires every single person in the world if you need with respect to their sexuality what time is the mine which one is the law how hard they wanted everyone is unique and thinking that he fantasizing about someone else it’s just get around that it’s very sexy Beyond somebody really muscular turns you on and sharing this experience and think about what turns you on the most important thing is actually setting up ground rules you really want to discuss everything I everything that comes to mind frequency what would be your relationship with those people where do you meet them how do you meet them everything should be in the open and of course you may not be able to chill you know you can create your own that you’ve all but if it’s really about communication is open and you can explore meeting new people together Again Sports and you can share experiences because you really have you know you are a team that has the life that would be my best advice okay and some experience with them when talking to people about this topic you know I totally different wavelengths with all this said I feel that at the individuals are so deeply fractured and wounded by modern society and all of its ways of penetrating our self-image with media it’s it’s whether you’ve been sexually abused or sexually missed you use whatever degrees along the life pastors there’s just a I feel like there’s a need to create Sexual Healing Fellowship amongst groups of people will wear where we really really give size kind of eccentric waves of thinking where you know I see that when two people are alone together trying to get each other off it’s kind of like pressing the gas in a break at the same time and worship worship rotating alternating pattern that is kind of a energetic circuitry if you will select electrical engineering if you want to if you want to have maximum energy purifying the chakra system than one person or the receiver fully relaxes and The Giver or givers preferably in my opinion Focus all their energy on on bathing in hydraulic Lee pressurizing and helping to for her person to purge out all of that baggage sold those bedroom monsters and then begin to know themselves at a level of their Essence in their higher self that doesn’t really usually get Explorer to receive when people are in orgasm race just the two of them and neglecting so many erogenous zones that you would need 12 hands to cover just the most basic human or not to mention the ones that are very idiosyncratic where it could be a tone of voice tone or word or a song I mean or something if you were to design a sensual erotic healing empowering ritual for a person you need more than one other person to do it to maximum capacity so I’m sort of becoming a marketing engine or this public service living breathing public service announcement that we’ve got to socialize sexual sex sex care like healthcare butt sex care and it’s got to be a team sport and that the results is my experimentations with with this approach have been so profound that I just never want to go back to that what feels like a really kind of simple ways to get a bigger flame and but there’s also more drama and it’s more personalities so if it’s that the interesting thing about the time designing a sacred ceremonial ritual you know procedure is that people kind of other roles to play and it’s and if you’re if you’re making a cedar of orgasmic pleasure for somebody who is the receiver of the devotional energy then there’s not a lot of sloppiness and there’s not a lot of oh my this is like that third wheel or the Unicorn as a lot of those issues when you just have sex parties that aren’t really there not really pretty according to a rotational principles over or like a is a certain Symmetry and clock we’re in and just a beauty of a de Mando way of doing things energetically so it’s kind of a mouthful but I would say it’s I think it’ll be an ideal to strive for more than just how to please your man you know and yeah that’s the way to do that but what if what if a woman comes the hardest watching her man gets fucked by three guys to see how do you say okay then ask them what your wildest fantasy is and helps them and Safeway HR classes in late summer we’re going to have that as part of our classes because I feeling all your senses and most to the north of us. list of all the Santas an important that it just gets deeper and for people who are bored so that’s something that you mentioned early on was said that there’s just a you know a couple of state do they have children that get bogged down in daily life and just multitasking and there’s less time and there’s less space if you’re so this expensive virtual experience specially when you’re applying energy towards your goals and you have a bigger Mission then it never gets boring because you’re always you’re always a directing it towards your goals and your your personal development do you want to talk about how some of what you were what are you doing to help people get over the the the boredom and the just a routine miss that comes with knowing each other and just sort of stopping it at a shallow level of physicality and boredom sucks and it’s just it’s just natural and then I’ll have a gold shield sex position and when he will have sex with one person only you typically go to the you just go to those people eating food with having sex and figuring out how to tell if this is what I wanted to bring you things then that’s it could be sex toys that could be sex position from places to have sex at that you want but it’s really just an open mind and doing your thing otherwise it’s like everything else thank Estelle and we talked to a lot of people enjoy successfully it’s amazing how easy to get people are much more open-minded and accepting when it comes to feel each other’s hands when they come to class when you talk to someone who just like a long long long time we’re just young people oh and I was going to say and I’m sure you see that when people explore whatever Lifestyle the Explorer it’s just one day for it when they get to do what they really fantasize about what makes it sound wonderful I’m so glad you’re doing if you want to talk about your offerings more and exactly you know how how you would like people to connect with you and will you have coming up and then any other words of advice that it’s really been a pleasure to get synapse formation into to compare notes yeah I know we are New York City based on the website is Cade and courtney.com and we have Janelle we’re have articles and all sorts of traffic you could would love to hear from you and will we can. We can talk to you privately or we can run out and we’ll open up open up around midnight and we’re going to have classes for for people who are dating for trying to establish a relationship established just to learn how to orgasm how do you how what are the different ways how you can orgasm because there’s so much more than one if it is so much more than just a clitoral orgasm about male orgasm and pleasured and will need that you should you should absolutely hair and try to catch your partner but also enjoy yourself and so are classified balance and you know this is what you could do for filling experience beautiful thank you so much yeah well, I’m looking forward to continuing to catch up on your block and we will be in touch again weather for Texan Ranch Brandon Boyd over here to help people and answer questions then to you know wishing everyone a wonderful love whatever whatever you want to do beautiful all right thank you so much you have a great night. Calm and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples every bite illogical employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email bad by Tasha Punk. Com Thomas gay