Tag Archives: sexuality

Trick and Treat: Decoding Halloween with Devika the Techy Tantrika TPP219

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Devika the Techy Tantrika Pic

In this episode I’m joined again by Devika the Techy Tantrika for a Halloween themed show where we explore cross-cultural approaches to the spirit world beyond the veil of waking consciousness. We discuss the phenomenon known as “black tantra” and compare notes on how concepts of good, evil, occultism, and more are dealt with in various tantric traditions. We look at the degradation of spiritual intelligence in the modern world, and the implications of turning your back on the spirit world. We question the notions of dark and black as negative and take a less dualistic perspective on the diverse natures of demons. Our discourse on the mystery of the dark goddess Kali leads to an effort to understand and decode the famed history of sacrificial practices. I share a few sensational headlines from the Indian press on scary stories of gurus practicing business as usual black magic to help remind the neo-tantra “bliss bunnies” that patriarchy has plundered the more feminist ethics of ancient shaktism.

About Devika:

Devika J. Singh/The Techy Tantrika is a Tantric Sex and Self-Relationship Coach as well as a Performess. Her diverse creative endeavours as well as her views on holistic sex, intimacy, self-relationship and self-care have culminated into the one-on-one online coaching practice she has today. Devika’s unique take on traditional and Neo-Tantric practices along with her continuous dedication to providing commentary on tech trends that affect the way we date and intimately connect shine through in her YouTube video series where she provides Tantric sex and dating advice to her audience.

You can find Devika’s YouTube sex+dating advice video series at youtube.com/thetechytantrika

Follow her Instagram at:
http://www.instagram.com/thetechytantrika

You can also find out more about her coaching practice and writing at devika-singh.com

Gender, Sacred Sexuality and Spirit Work with Lee Harrington TPP215

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Lee Harrington Pic

In this episode I’m very pleased and honored to be joined by the highly accomplished Lee Harrington, he is one of those very precious “where have you been all my life” kind of sapiosexual soul mates that you feel like you could talk with forever and ever.

I knew this was going to be a deep, profound, enlightening, and transformative journey. His  perspectives on sexual healing, liberation, and empowerment are vast, multi-dimensional, and infinitely thought provoking. I’m looking forward to many ongoing explorations, it felt like we barely massaged the surface.

He shares his personal background of transitioning from being born assigned female to becoming a man,  developing personal practices and group opportunities to experience sacred kink, working as an adult performer, becoming an international sacred sexuality educator and advocate, and so much more.

Our dialog felt like a free-style jam where we riffed off each other’s musings, laments, and future-positive affirmations and visioneerings. It felt like a bit of collaborative improvisational spell craft; all intended to expand love, acceptance, compassion, and co-operation.

We dance with language and he provides insight into ways to evolve the terminologies we use to define “us and them” and when appropriate, transcend to more of a continuum than a dichotomy. I’m hopeful with the application of Lee’s wisdom teachings, we’ll move towards an unprecedented global village where a new “us with them” paradigm will replace the “us and them” and “us vs them” binaries.

About Lee:

Lee Harrington is an internationally known spiritual and erotic authenticity educator, gender explorer, eclectic artist, and award-winning author and editor on sexual and sacred experience. He is a nice guy with a disarmingly down to earth approach to the fact that we are each beautifully complex ecosystems, and we deserve to examine the human experience from that lens. He has been an academic and female adult film performer, a world class sexual adventurer, an outspoken philosopher, is a kink/bondage expert, and has been blogging about sex and spirituality since 1998. His books include “Sacred Kink: The Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond,” “Traversing Gender: Understanding Transgender Realities,”“Playing Well With Others: Your Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Negotiating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities”(with Mollena Williams), “Shibari You Can Use: Japanese Rope Bondage and Erotic Macramé,” and others.  You can find Lee’s podcast, tour schedule, free essays, videos, and more over at www.PassionAndSoul.com

Independent Motherhood and Empowered Birth Work TPP179

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Laura Sermeno Pic

In this episode I’m humbled and blessed to be able to explore the raw realness of a wombyn of color struggling to navigate and resist patriarchy, white male privilege, and mono-normative love and relationship styles. My new heroine  sheds light on many of the shadows of injustice that she has faced and fought throughout her life and her journey as an independent mother.

She shares about the beauty and magnificence of her natural home birth and the incredible role her doula played in the process. She makes a call out for support of her efforts to study the birth working arts so that she can be of service and give back to the community.

She holds sacred space for me to open up about my ethnic impoverishment and we celebrate the enriched experience of culture that she has as a Mexican-American East Los Angelino.

Please support her Go Fund Me campaign here:
https://www.gofundme.com/mother039s-transition-career-to-community-birthwork

And check out these links:
http://www.madreluzla.com/
http://supermamas.com/
https://www.llli.org/

About Laura:
Laura was born in East LA, raised in Sur El Monte –UCLA matriculated, educated by her people only, from the classrooms to the streets. She studied Xicanx Studies and Spanish at UCLA, and within undergraduate studies she began to unfold her art of poetry and went on to perform original pieces.

Professionally trained as a legal assistant, Laura took a break from capitalism beginning of 2017 to both create and nurture a newborn, born July of 2017, and felt completely underwhelmed with returning to life in an office. Having had a beautiful, calm and empowering home birth, she is now on the path to joining other mamas on the journey and educating them as a friend and a doula.

Responsible Psychedelic Sexuality with Leia Friedman and Matt Hollander TPP168

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Leia and Matt Pic

In this episode I’m joined by a lovely couple for a round table discussion on responsible psychedelic sexuality.

We discuss:

  • our personal approaches to consenting psychedelic self pleasuring practices with ourselves
  • how and when psychedelics and other sacred plants are appropriate for them in their relationship
  • the shadow of alcohol and hard drugs
  • patterns of unconscious sexuality of the punk movement
  • sexuality in the neo-hippie subculture
  • the shadow of guru worship
  • cults around spiritual leaders
  • student/teacher sexual dynamics
  • exploitation of followers
  • predatory behavior patterns in ayahuasca communities
  • the dangers of free love
  • ego and peer pressure
  • corruption of those taking money for sexual healing or spiritual guidance
  • patient/client dating time delay requirements
  • examples in other professional sectors of ethics and code of conduct standards
  • sexual political economy
  • boundaries around involving state authorities in restorative justice
  • Psychedelic Patriarchy video
  • incident denial when survivors come out
  • creating supportive space
  • reporting incidents of abuse by emailing: hello [at] psychedelicwomen.com
  • the role of trained mediators
  • can sociopaths be rehabilitated?
  • calling out celebrities
  • accountability, hide or be accountable
  • admitting when wrong
  • the no more hiding now project
  • the logic and morality of triage in emergency response
  • standard operating procedures trained and drilled as a form of preparedness
  • sharing tools for building incident response social infrastructure
  • grey areas of consent
  • potential for redemption of perpetrators through service work
  • personal hard lessons with sexual misconduct
  • functional and dysfunctional investigations
  • gossip, drama, telephone games
  • appropriate scrutiny of public figures
  • compassion for those who’ve fallen from grace
  • the shadow of shunning and displacing perps
  • harm reduction, success stories
  • shamanic ceremonial healing for perps and ex-cons
  • when survivors aren’t ready to bring it to light
  • how people take sides, defend perps, and subvert advocates
  • asking the victim what they need
  • not assuming you know how/when you should apologies
  • consent in the process of justice
  • How Psychedelics Informed My Sex Life and Sex Work by Annie Sprinkle:

About Leia:
Leia Friedman, M.S. is a teacher, writer, and connectress. She is the cofounder of Boston Entheogenic Network, host of the podcast “The Psychedologist: consciousness positive radio,” the integration resource list volunteer coordinator for MAPS, and a permaculturalist. Her work focuses on phenomena related to the human experience of consciousness through the lens of social and environmental justice. Leia is exploring ways to bridge the diverse and multidimensional intersections of psychedelics and ecology while residing at Happy Acres Farm in Sherman, CT.

About Matt:
Matt hollander is one of the founders of BEN the boston entheogenic network, a psychonaut and the singer of the boston hardcore punk band ancient filth. He is interested in the intersection of radical politics psychedelics and non duality.

Please check out their projects:
https://thepsychedologist.libsyn.com/
https://www.facebook.com/nomorehidingnow
https://www.facebook.com/groups/bentheogenic/
https://ancientfilth.bandcamp.com/

 

Solving Slutty Girl Problems with Lorrae Bradbury TPP102

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Lorrae Bradbury PicIn this episode I’m joined by the illustrious sex blogger Lorrae Bradbury of Slutty Girl Problems. She shares her story of finding empowerment and support for her lifestyle of sexploration using social media platforms, a strategy that eventually led to her building successful sex blogging enterprise. We discuss many dimensions of cultural evolution around sexuality, love and relationships. She offers a vast array of practical tools and life hacks that help sexually adventurous folks break free from shame, ignorance, jealousy, boredom, and more.

Please check out her website at:
http://sluttygirlproblems.com/

About Lorrae:

Lorrae Bradbury is the founder of Slutty Girl Problems, a website and brand empowering women to embrace their sexuality, without shame. She’s a also a writer, pug-cuddler, wanderlust-er, and festival hopper. Follow her adventures on Twitter and Instagram: @Lorraejo.

Egoitis TPP09

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tassalli_shamanThis is a spoken word recording of one of my “Holisticore” column entries in Profane Existence Magazine. I address the pathological state of “egoitis” where many modern/western people end up stuck for most of their adult life. It’s indicted as the cause of the failure of most of our relationships and the cause of our misery. It’s not an abstraction, it’s a living parasitic amalgamation that disempowers us when we think, speak and act unconsciously.

The Divine Goddess Created Our Species to be Homo Sexydelicus

In hyperspace all of my intellectual understandings of the feminine divine gush out of my normally linguistically confined cortex and flood my body as I dance naked to psytrance music at a thunderous volume.

All that tantric theory comes alive and I become the sacred dance of Shiva and Shakti. The god/goddess energies flow through my delicate fleshy human frame and it feels like every cell is writhing in orgasmic ecstasy.

Without entheogenic amplifiers that plug me into the transcendent currents of the earth and the cosmos, the visual fantasies I daydream about are fleeting abstract projections. But with them, the pineal juices flow and the third eye conducts an orchestra of orgiastic imagery not on the typical 2d screen of the minds eye, or even 3d, it’s multidimensional.

When I conjure up images of female beauty, I don’t just see frames of the center folds that the patriarchal culture has tried to sell me that flatten my experience and make me a consumer of an objectified product. I don’t have a thin and shallow lust for the culturally conditioned standard of beauty. I actually become the feminine divine. I shape shift into a curvy breasted being made of milk and honey.

I’m somewhat androgynous, about 25% gay, but not particularly fem, I just like the way it feels to engender the sacred union internally, which is the prerequisite to be achieved before hoping to create sacred union with a partner. It’s a fractal phenomenon, self-similar at all scales. Learn to balance the feminine and masculine within, then build outward with one or more others. The potential to consciously perform the balancing act of energies is what allows us humans to grace the predator/prey landscape of life on earth with magical divine co-creativity.

At one point of extreme trance dancing, I realized that having rented the Carmen Electra strip-tease workout video wasn’t just out of some giggly horny impulse. I actually like to dance that way, it feels great, it kills the toxic destructive male ego to stir up the feminine divine within. Without the need to be macho and constantly hold back the natural drive to be peacefully sensual, a man can know true freedom. Sacred sensual erotic dance is for everyone. In essense, it says to the divine feminine what Terence Mckenna said to the Mushroom as it came on to him, “Take me I’m yours, take me I’m yours.”

I think about how much psychic energy gets expended everyday in the world just to maintain homophobic masculine identities. What a tiring waste. In the movie Eyes Wide Shut, there’s a poignant scene where Tom Cruise is walking down the street at night kind of taking a weird dream-like tour of bizarre manifestations of human sexuality. At one point a mob of frat jocks walk by and verbally attack him in a frenzy of explicit homophobic hate speech. I see this a lot, because there is no healthy acceptable outlet for men to experience their femininity and explore their innate curiosities, they’re constantly frustrated and obsessed with verbalizing and visualizing aggressive homosexual acts with each other. They’re constantly accusing each other of wanting to engage in what they say is unthinkable, yet there they are thinking about it all the time.

Back to my own trip, I grew into liberated politics as a punk runaway that would go into the local all ages queer nightclub in Portland to avoid the curfew and be safe inside the strobe–lit, techno pounded walls until sun-up. There I was exposed to a vast array of genders and sexualities, all entraining to the beat, dancing and expressing a kaleidoscopic rainbow of divine masculine and feminine beauty. It was sexydelic and I loved it.

It was many years later as an anthropology student that I discovered the existence of the little known primate species called Bonobos. They’re pigmy chimps that make love not war. They resolve conflict and maintain peace and egalitarian social bonds by having non-reproductive intercourse across sexes, constantly. They’re also an extremely rare example of primate matriarchy. Through elaborate circles of sisterhood, they keep the male ego in check and never let the males believe that they can dominate. Males are meticulously trained to remain humble and respectful. It’s as if the females know instinctively that the male ego is a dangerous volatile force that has to be carefully managed to ensure the absence of violence and domination.

As obscure as they are in the primate world and in the collective consciousness of our culture, they just happen to be the most genetically similar to us of all the other primates.
We didn’t directly evolve from them, however it stands to reason that we evolved along similar paths. If you buy into the obsolete orthodox Darwinian evolutionary religion, you’d have to believe that Bonobos and humans arrived at their/our unique extra-reproductive sexual instincts by some errant genetic defect for which nature hasn’t had a reason to squeeze out of the gene pool. But I this is monkey shit. To help bury the idea that life forms are purely the result of purposeless random mutation, I like to reference an analogy I heard on a Tony Robbins tape once that went something like: to believe that there’s no intelligent creator of life is like believing that the Webster’s dictionary is the result of a random explosion at a print factory.

Entheogens provide the experiential percept, rather than the belief-based precept, that there is a divine force of creation, or many perhaps. Who/what/where-ever they/it/she/he is/are doesn’t matter to me as much as the fact that some form of organizing consciousness is actually pulling us forward into an ever more complex biological being that can experience ever more depth and texture of sensuality.

We’ve lost all of the defensive and offensive biological weapons and shields. We don’t have fangs, claws, spikes, venom, talons, etc. We don’t have an exoskeleton, we don’t have a shell, we can’t run very fast, we can’t see behind us, we can’t smell our enemies, or sense their vibrations, we can’t see all that well, we can barely even defend ourselves against the cold.

If we’re not here to fight or flee, what “f” word does that leave?

We are the naked ape. Why? Because somehow a few genes failed to switch on somewhere back down the evolutionary ladder, that’s definitely part of it, but not the whole story. There is always a dynamic dance going on between environment and consciousness, but in the case of humans, there is so much more going on. The rate of drastic change that led to our neo-cortex, our nervous system, our linguistic apparatus, simply does not compute within the temporal/mathematical framework of random mutation according to evolutionary theory. Our DNA was definitely a designer piece, somehow injected into the primate world.

Every culture on Earth is an attempt to explain this mystery. For most of human history, cultures embraced the mystery and approached it in a state of love and reverence, not fear and violence. One of my tantra teachers describes a rough dichotomy in human culture. He says that prior to a few thousand years ago, all human cultures were inherently tantric, they lived in a sensuous way, enjoying life through the body and connecting to the divine through it. Then as the patriarchal dominator culture emerged out of domestication and civilization, a new relationship to the body began to colonize to globe: asceticism, the denial of the body as divine, the living in the head, in the ego. As the male ego’s obsession with control lost its balance with femininity and nature, the body and all of its magical wonders became just a vehicle for reproduction and war to accumulate ever greater amounts of artificial power and wealth. Study eco-feminism to get the most complete story you can find on this shift, suffice it to say here that this tragic twist of fate has betrayed our nature, our biology, and our designer’s dream to make sweet love to all of us through our peaceful, bare, defenseless, goddess worshipping bodies.

Terence Mckenna wrote and spoke at length about how the shift from partnership to dominator cultures was also rooted in the loss of connection to sacred plant medicines which help to regulate and diminish the male ego. He also points out that with the systematic eradication of the shamanic meme, a pharmacological shift happened as well. We didn’t just lose the ethnobotanical leash on the male ego, the leash became a whip that aggravated it with the rise of alcohol, which has inflamed the male ego.

Where there are plants there is peace, where alcohol is poured there is war.

There are so many aspects of the true fall of man to explore. I just wanted to name a few.

The main point of this writing is not to focus too much on the causal chain of historic and prehistoric events, but rather to look at the end result.

The naked ape that was designed for peace and love is now dominated by an insidious reversion to the alpha male syndrome. This is not human nature, we haven’t always been at war, the primitive are not the savage, our hominid ancestors didn’t club women and drag them into caves by the hair.

We evolved beyond patriarchal primate behavior long ago, and developed co-operative, psychedelic, loving, ecstatic proliferating goddess worshipping cultures that had managed to live sustainably as gatherer/hunters in virtually every different type of terrestrial environment. In short, through the mechanisms of peace, love, and plants we were able to cooperatively adapt to diverse environments without the need to conquer and colonize. It was not our nature to become conquerors and colonizers as a species, but sadly the potential to revert to a dominator mode has always been latent in our DNA.

Now we’re horribly off course and have wasted so much imagination, creativity, ingenuity, and innovation not to further our connection to each other, the earth, and the stars as we had for so long, but to create an epigenetic de-evolutionary descent into battle mode.

This is not to say that there was never any violence or weapons or warriors, but in shamanic warrior cultures there were limits to the destructive urge, there were still councils of elders that regulated the individual and collective male egos. There was still a tantric paradigm. People still had spiritual connections to the land, to each other, and to their bodies so warfare was not just a game of kings to whom young men were just chess pawns, it was dare I say, sacred violence?

Anyway, it dawned on me one time as I got into my divine feminine psytrance dance, that we were evolved to be beautiful and vulnerable so that we can experience more in life than a constant game of cat and mouse between predator and prey. As I was dancing and feeling so infinitely sensual there alone in the dark, with amplified senses and perception I could see into other dimensions. I became aware of the looming presence of predatory hyper-beings who were rushing toward me like alien insectoid sea creatures. They could sense my shell-lessness, my sweet squishiness and they were intent on devouring me. I felt truly helpless, but as in all altered states, you have to get a grip and seal the fear valve quickly before you fall into a dark abyss or get dragged into one kicking and screaming. You have to morpho-generate pretty pictures of unicorns and rainbows and you’ll instantly evoke the goddess and she’ll be there to protect you and ward off all the evil spirits that would do you harm. It’s as if in hyperspace, you’re not seeing things that aren’t normally there, rather you’re seeing things that are always there. The hyper-beings that feast on and metabolize human psycho-kinetic energies come in many forms and can only be seen with certain psycho-microscopic lenses as Timothy Leary might say…

In the interdimensional ecology of hyperspace, some beings perceive and treat us the way western society perceives and treats livestock, some beings conduct painful experiments on us the way vivisectors do to lab animals, some of them are intrigued by us and welcome us as lost travelers and act as guides into other realms. Many of them love us and want to share our bodies and experience ecstasy with and through us. But to all of them, we must surrender and let go of the shadow self. A mind full of negative thoughts and emotions is like blood in shark infested waters, while a mind full of love is a like a seeping maple tree in a forest full of deer. The mystery of enlightenment is solved by becoming lighter and stripping away the scar tissue, the toxic residue, the thought viruses, the ego, the resentment, the hatred, the guilt, the shame, the fear and be nursed like a baby in the luminous ethereal omnipresent arms of the eternal/infinite feminine divine.

Coming back to “reality” it was very clear to me that to be naked apes is very dangerous. We had to take really good care of each other to survive for 200,000 years or more. We had become very close in our tribal relationships and relationships with plants, prey species, etc.. We are so fragile, so interdependent. We’re so incapable of surviving alone, we’d be dead in days or weeks without the constant love and care of the tribe. We’re as defenseless as worms, but in trading in our shells and claws, we received the gift of the most prolonged intense pleasure potential of any other form of life on earth. And we were given the gifts of our unique highly complex brains, and our hands, our linguistic apparatus, etc. We are here to love and create, not hate and destroy. It’s as if the scared male ego wants to use our creative capacity to turn everything into a claw or a shell. Either hide from his true loving nature, or beat it out of someone else.

What a shame.

Imagine what we’d have accomplished by now had we stayed Gaian minded, egalitarian, tantric, goddess worshiping. Imagine if all of the grand wonders of civilization were done in the name of the goddess. What would our largest structures and statues be shaped like? What depths of innerspace would we have explored? How many people would be in a “nuclear family”? How many sharp, toxic, and otherwise lethal objects and substances would there be to teach every child to fear? What would be the number one cause of death? What would high tech computers be made of, and what would they be used for? Would we fly with fighter jets or with levitation? Would we swim in nuclear submarines or as mermaids?

I subscribe to Terence Mckenna’s time wave theory which states that the universe is an engine of novelty that over ever shorter epochs of time produces ever more complex integrated biological and cultural forms and systems with peaks and valleys of novelty fractally positioned throughout. So there is a fundamental law of nature which is, in a dirty word, progress. As an anarcho-primitivist I always fought the idea of progress as an enemy but now I see that it’s not that simple because to me it’s perhaps one of the only undeniable laws of nature. So you can’t stop progress…but you can stop patriarchy.

Patriarchy and it’s perversion and diversion of primate evolution is what has thwarted Gaia’s project to advance our species from the warlord chimps to Homo Sexydelicus, the naked entheogen seeking biological sex machines that we were each born to be, when we are born to be wild.