Tag Archives: sexual health

Sequioa and Ziji

Gay Tantra in Canada and Beyond with Sequoia and Ziji of Men in Touch TPP288

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In this episode I have the great honor and pleasure of exploring the diverse and complimentary paths of two gay tantrikas in Canada, and discussing many intersections spirituality and sexuality

About Sequia:

I view life as a school for love.
My life intention is to live in the heart of union…in the eternal oneness of now.
For over 30 years I’ve been sharing with others the practices I find most helpful to get out of the overloaded, busy mind, and connect more with the heart, breath and body, where unity and love live. It’s all about High Level Wellness…in body, heart and soul.

I have a special passion for sharing with other men what I’ve been learning about the deeper dimensions of intimacy, including full-body sensual massage, many practices drawn from Yoga and Tantra, and more recently the profound “Into Me See” of eye-gazing meditation and “We Space.”

Learn more at growinghealthier.com and menintouch.org

About Ziji:

Ziji is a facilitator at Men In Touch, teaching men skills and practices to deepen intimacy and integrate spirituality and sexuality. In addition, he is a tantric bodyworker, yoga instructor (RYT), organizer of the Ignite Festival (ignite-fest.com), and amateur queer scholar. He makes a home in Coast Salish Territory, Vancouver, and spends as much time at the nude beach as possible! Find him at gaymassagevancouver.com

My Non Verbatim Show Notes:

TP: why not rainbow tantra

S: vietnam veteran, out of air force 1972, bee line to berkeley

very free very open

discovered, alternative spirituality, blossoming then TM, massage, holistic practices, hatha yoga, beginning to become known, fringey

explore sexuality, tantra, contradicted all the catholic upbringing I had

spirituality/sexuality same energy expressed in different ways

opposite of christian belief

body impediments to spirtuality

intrigued 80s, bay area, aids epidemic, helpful if gay brothers were aware of practices that didn’t involve penetration, fluid exchange, much more about subtle energy,

started workshops, 1987, 33 years

thrilling to watch men discover more layers of intimacy

Z: I’m much younger, about almost 4 decades, grew up in different context, calgary, alberta, suburban, typical suburban conservative culture

turned to spirituality, early 20s, tibetan buddhist

monastery 2 years, nova scotia

separate from sexual life

moved to vancouver, 8 years ago

exploring, alternative things

going to sequia’s workshop, men in touch workshop about massage

attended that workshop, transformative experience, all this stuff I had learned, practice, in that non sexual context of spirituality

unified it with whole other dimension of being, becoming more important to myself

starting to discover power of sexuality

met about 7 years ago, had profound connection

personal, year or so, invited to co-teach

co-facilitating, weekly classes in vancouver, retreats, rural areas, every year festival, last 3 years, annual festival ignite festival, a lot going on, a lot of fun

S: mostly what I came to experience, sexual explorations in bay area, men

level of intimacy felt shallow, getting hard, getting off, didn’t satisfy something in me, seemed like fast food

intuition, past lives, knowingness something more, keen to keep exploring tantra, one workshop, bay area 70s

berkeley guy about my age, joe kramer

same classes, m chia, multi orgasmic man

microcosmit orbit, fascinating, moving energy, both sexual and spiritual

joseph, convo, similar interests, created body electric school, life changing for many people, pioneering, presenting workshop around conscious sexuality

less sexual more meditative and sensual

met wonderful guy in sf, body work as I had been, different kinds of movement classes, yoga for gay men, dance like stuff

doug fraiser, conversation, decided to collaborate, events called light tough retreats for loving me, weekend retreats bay area, near seattle

full body sensual eroticism, more meditative than goal oriented

ziji, been collaborating, delighted where he’s been taking our work, I’m 75, ziji 34, radical direction, just dozen guys at a time, ziji, taking it virtual, planet wide

z: mostly been working with classes retreats, beautiful containers, men go deeply, came across other modality, other container, festival, different experience, more people, usually not one container, people are popping in and out of workshops, different experience, neither better than other

offering ignite festival, last 2 years, in person, vancouver, this year got cancelled, covid, decided to do it virtual

ignite festival, online, unexpectedly all over the world, joining festival,

people from every continent, really quite and amazing experience to have that

always been more local, regional, beautiful experience

inspiration came to us, do offer really truly global festival, partnered with man in berlin, singapore, each taking 1/3 of the world, 24 hour a day festival, people can join in

invite many teachers, plurality, organizing it

invite teachers from body electric, not necessarily around sacred sexuality,

emotional, embodiment practices, etc.

no plans to be doing this kind of thing, silver linings of covid epidemic, new models, new ways of connecting

S: I would say focus of everything we do is exploring for me, many levels of intimacy, men tendency go for groin, pleasure of that so obvious in male body

ziji and I both discovered, emotional communication, meditative presence, loving kindness meditation, self, partner, group setting, level of compassion into intimacy, whole realm rarely considered

realms of intimacy, exploring

TP: great to hear,

both of you familiar with gay tantra, william shindler, one of my favorites, recommend for any seeker of tantric path how well, beyond sexual components, spiritual development components, transliterated for people not versed in hinduism, sanskrit, or yoga

get a sense of what they would be signing themselves up for

interesting point made, astute sanskrit scholar, one of foremost folks to have facts straight, promoting idea, notion, false dichotomy

paraphrase, within divine marriage, channel divine masculine, divine feminine, whatever ratio, share with partner or group

no reason people of same sex can’t feel obliged to consider themselves the complete circuit

no mention of gay in the tantras

temples sculptures, you see female bisexuality in service to men

have you explored or found interesting artwork, statues, classical tantra, guidance for people of diverse sexualities to explore these archetypes, energies in same sex context

S: tantra, oral tradition, guru to disciple, sexual aspects, less overt, less widespread, left handed path, less widely known, haven’t come across much in ancient writings, not scholar

not much written reference, studied with rudy balantime, swami rama, india, background in tantras, rudy bisexual, late 70s, tantra tradition see shiva shakti as symbolic, not literal,

man and woman can embody, so can to men, two women, inner alchemy, not matter what our plumbing, embody, all aspects of gender, express in love making, no matter gender of partner

exercises, meditations, inner marriage, inner shiva/shakti

Z: agree with everything, different dimension, concept of queer erasure in history, so often queer love is seen as counter/dangerous to narrative of normal society, to different degrees in different cultures, my own personal historical knowledge, from western tradition, prechristian cultures, also a lot of cultural differences the way we talk about relationships, queer love relationship would perhaps be quite different

spoken about quite differently , modern readers, may see or understand what is being written,

the story of achelles, partner, long stories about these too, never referred to them as fact they had sex, lovers per se, so often express their love for one another, brotherly love, comrades in arms

kind of like, from a historical perspective, how do we read history, to what degree are we imposing on history

missing from what’s been written, complicated topic

experience of tantras, not much written down, aware at least in tibetan context, guru disciple relationship, incredibly intimate, seldom written down

tibetan contenxt, patriarchal, male teacher, male student, would not be surprised, if using sexual energy as one of transmissions of teaching

homosexuality in tibetan monasteries well documented, not in ancient times, last 100 years, more exposed to the world

definitely happening, question of how do it get spoken about

TP: thank you so much, so well said, maybe somebody has been studying, great project for anybody who’s got researchto

lesbian desire in ancient and modern india, high on my book list, hope that will shed some light on good stuff

it breaks my heart when I hear people say, I want to do tantra but it’s only for straight people

curious about, what is the tantra community scene, millieu like in canada, different laws around sex work, cannabis, maybe other entheogens, a bit of a report on if anything very interesting about cultural climate, setting your in, insight into that life style there

S: started life in us vietnam vet, fell in love with vancouver in late 80s, smitten by city

90, still in love with city as years ago

somewhat more permissive culture

cannabis, tacitly accepted,

laws about sexuality, less enforced

hasn’t been kind of religious fervor that often occurs in us around laws around sexual behavior

erotic massage, began in berekley, felt safe, here feel even safer

appreciate that aspect of our culture here

Z: I would say, also in terms of sex work laws in canada, we’re currently scandanavian model, not illegal to sell sex work, somewhat illegal to market, buy, anything beyond selling is considered illegal

vancouver pd, statements, don’t enforce bilays pertaining to sex work, definitely see it quite differently,

not an idea system, decriminalization, main ideal target, overall

generally find, I feel much more comfortable being here than in america

more pacific northwest, more people from seattle, portland from anywhere in eastern canada, even alberta

can’t speak for rest of canada, some folks doing gay tantra in toronto,

a little bit happening in montreal as well too, it’s happening, it feels like most of the gay tantra work is still happening in other parts of the world

men in touch, also on forefront, canada as whole, doesn’t yet feel like a bastian, so speak of gay tantra

S: moved up from california, quite a bit less advanced around alternate spirituality, new map, tantra, has really changed in last 10 years,

going through facebook, social media,

part of whole west coast culture

southern california

vancouver very much part of that

put down, all the fruits and nuts roll west,

west coast much more progressive, in canada as well as us

TP: good to know

people up there already make some use of that intel, hoping that canada will lead north america in full legalization of sex work, know of efforts to keep rocking that boat,

I was a little bit more excited than I should have been, fine print, not friendly to both sides of transaction, consumer buyer, sex buyer, consumer of erotic services

lobbying, grass roots stuff, ?

S: in general we have to really hand it to the women, women in sex work, activist, most vocal, done the most to even get us this far, continues, women are most severely impacted by sex work laws, urgent crisis and need, safety livelihoods

Z: pushback, people are pushing the govt

if it’s every gonna happen in canada, be with more progressive govt

sex work law is always kinda not most important, not on minds of middle class, most people, base of these parties, unfortunately gets shelved

S: people hassled by police, walking the streets, neighbors call

other than that, when sex work is not in peoples faces who don’t want to see it, police not being proactive to go out and enforce it, different from us, entrapment

TP: fosta/cesta, tantrikas doing body work, whole spectrum everybody posting ads, backpage, craigslist, shut down, witch hunt, the internet policing of marketing on line, light touch, don’t bother you, hang shingle on line, not creating public nuisance, out of side out of mind

Z: have my own website, private practice, gaymassagevancouver.com

pretty obvious what it is I’m offering, not that cloaked, don’t feel afraid about that, more the effect is in, there’s still stigma, in our society around it, for example, would not want my neighbors knowing about the work I do, not illegal, but people can still make life very difficult

tread carefully around, not being public nuisance, not legal perspective, neighbors, land lords, have a lot of power over me as a renter

how much canada can have an effect on us

previous prime minister

decriminalized homosexuality, 1969

test lab for us, more progressive policies, us politicians, hmm looks like it’s working, maybe we’ll try it down here

TP: thanks for sharing, chills, wow, what an epic and brave, want to book up on history of that moment, rare, goes back, that was the magical year, a lot of good stuff happened

curious to what extent, language, tool kit, together, separately, neo tantra, extrapolating from modern gurus lineages, dance with translating teachings to offerings in modern world

adapt, relanguage, gay tantric perspective, notion of helping facilitate kundalini activation, initiation, riding the snake, wild ride of energy

why and how it erupts, orthodoxy around straight, tantric practices, not short cut but juicier way than sitting with hands folded, by yourself

how would you approach it, romance with kundalini shakti vibe

S: close to my heart, introduced to kundalini, Baba Muktananda, guru traveled world several times 70s and 80s

activating people’s kundalini, directly through shaktipat

had taste in that experience about kundalini awakening,

own that this is very phallocentric, perspective, like to view, with other gay men, entire energy body as phallus, penis, let energy build up from pelvis to crown

ejaculation out the crown of the head, fountain flow, energy thighs, genitals, through chakras, caress energy, up the middle, up and out

partners, massage table use that format, take people into new consciousness, kundalini as useful metaphor probably is that be definitely energy does shift, working with that intention, instead of conventional ejaculation

TP: really healing and sweet, people feel like they’re not gonna be missing out, or left out or excluded

heteronormative schematics

really encouraging

Z: my take on that is, just to kind of also balance that out, important to be having energetic experiences, also large portion of our work, different dimension, learning how to deepen intimacy, different quality, not usually as intensely sensory, energetic in that way, much more, other skills we’re trying to encourage, what does it mean to really be with somebody, be energetically kind of connected, recently last couple years, new concept of we space meditation, subtle states of shared consciousness, could include touch, not required

to me, my interest is more like, that feels to me like the real interesting part, one thing to have personal experience within own body, somebody’s massaging you, activating you, energetic release, beautiful experience, fruition of that, gone through kundalini awakening, has to have some sort of effect on us, when we moved the energy that way, can come into deeper states of clarity, stillness, presence,

fruition, communicates beyond just personal experience

TP: awesome, vagina monologues had pansexual tantra meed up in la, kundalini monologues, hopefully will take off some day, great time, different stories, so many, wow, lot of good stuff, definitely some horror stories too

Z: key, how do you create safe container for people to be experiencing these experiences, enough structure, to digest experience, otherwise, profoundly disorienting kind of experience

S: one of the tools learned early on in 70s, tantra workshop, same sex, all male tantra workshop, stan russell, tools used back then, eye contact, breathing together simple

80s, body electric, incorporate a bit of that, never as much as I wanted, eye gazing powerful practice in and of its self

we space meditation, promoting form of meditation

gazing into partners eyes, can be done on zoom

being with partner, holding eye contact, attempting to describe verbally, what’s going on

consciousness

quite an altered state that that leads to, ziji and I teaching

roots in tantra tradition, nothing to do overtly

connect deeply with romantic partners, total strangers

TP: beautiful thing, ancient practices techniques, occultism, cult of personality

west wants to secularize, messier, problematic, end up with more generalized, less cultural bound experience

adapted things like orgasmic meditation, may have had tantric training, indian gurus, to make it compute average multicultural western mind, strip away mythical archetypes, hindu mythological structures

we’ve salvaged in the west, western neo tantra, kundalini tradition, yoga asanas, general teaching, rarely offered, some experience, always seeking more, mudras, yantras, mantras, fundamental profound primal role, vibrations, sound, bija mantras, activating chakras, so much of that stuff, sometimes is very bound with religious dogma, archetypes, can also be more energetic, an anatomical energetic way of teaching

integrate or have reference upon mantras, mudras, in your offerings

S: tm, mantra based, Baba Muktananda kundalini awakening, om namah shivaya, so hum,

powerful, chanting of them find very transformative,

a little reluctant, people in west, wary, religiousity, hesitant to bring in too much, turn people off, almost always do oming, mantra, om

men in cirlce hug, ah sound, o, m, carry on for a while, quite wonderful, blend them, hear them unify over time

profound

Z: personal background with tantra, not in hindu, tibetan buddhist, a lot of esoteric tantric teachings within

takes quite a bit of, understanding, background structure, communicate, what this tradition is trying to say, very personally rewarding, feels like a lot of pitfalls, possible misunderstandings that can take place, generally speaking I find, my work I really informed by that, not explicitly referring specific deities, mantras, esoteric sadhanas, or whatever

S: creating sacred space, one of ingredients we invite men to join us in, letting go of ordinary chit chat, most contant non verbal, set out of busy urban life for whole weekend, movement touch, conscious breathing, nonordinary state of consciousness, I hope informs the rest of their lives, states of consciousness are available,

TP: definitely so many different schools all over the east, probably all agree on, path of integrating pleasure for spiritual development, does the work of a 1000 mantras, touch, centeredness in moment, sensate focus,

advanced yogis, alluded, quality of attention and focus is what you’re going for, the actual prescribed numbers of repetitions, grading on the curve, lowest common denominators, to make sure they get in the fold

Z: one of last few tibetan teachers, trained in pre chinese, tibet, very revered, visiting monastery, giving teachings, one nugget

two paths to liberation the path of pain and the path of pleasure, most people take the path of pain, just laughed,

we are all about exploring the path of pleasure

TP: that says it all, love that so much

so great so fun to have round table on this, invite you back anytime, more deeply, promote, things available, to broader community world wide through internet, good to promote that stuff, shout out, for website

Z: main website, menintouch.org, ignite festival, ignite-fest.com, each have own private practice, gaymassagevancouver.com, sequia, growthinghealthier.com

Ashley Manta Smoking Cannabis

Best Practices for Sexual Healing Using Cannabis with Ashley Manta TPP283

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In this episode I’m joined by the world’s foremost expert on the use of cannabis for sexual pleasure, exploration, and healing

About Ashley:

Ashley Manta is an award-winning sex educator and coach and has become a leading authority on mindfully combining sex and cannabis as part of her CannaSexual® brand. She recently completed her certification as a Bodysex® Facilitator after studying with legendary pleasure pioneer Betty Dodson. Ashley was named Sexpert of the Year at the January 2020 XBiz Awards. Her work has received recognition in Forbes, The London Times, Newsweek, Rolling Stone, and more. She is a brand ambassador for Sybian and Foria. Her book, The CBD Solution: Sex will be published by Chronicle Books and Merry Jane in September 2020.
Links:
Podcast: www.elevatedintimacypodcast.com (Also available on iHeartRadio, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Play)
Online courses: www.elevatedintimacy.com

My Non Verbatim Show Notes:

AM:

buffet of me

am sex and relationship coach

sex ed 13 years

start out of college, sexual violence prevention education

rape crisis counseling, victim advocacy

sexual assault awareness prevention

high schools and colleges

women’s center on campus

well rounded approach in trauma

such powerful work

healing for me as survivor, helping other survivors

high burn out

pivot, sex ed on health and wellness

planned parenthood,

in PA

moved to CA

ceiling on how high I could rise on east coast, sex negative attitudes

CA, openness around cannabis, alternative forms of sexuality, holistic wellness

2013, access to medical cannabis

changed game for me, dispensery, want to feel this or that

watershed moment

pain with penetration as result of trauma

product, thc infused oil for vulvas/yonis

decrease discomfort, increase pleasure

product changed my life

penetrative sex without pain first time as adult, game changer

started writing, speaking at events

one of leading experts on sex and cannabis in the world

TP:

amazing, feel you on all that stuff, listening and appreciating you have taken up that roll, surprising for me, and others

earth’s best kept secret, topicals, more herbal alchemy to get some of the places where its needed most, different kind of experience psychologically, different strains, stereotype around edibles making you crazy, body highs, different textures, how do you speak/present, what you should expect, absorb through tissues, nerve endings through those pathways

AM:

botanical ambassador, speak for the plants

one of most pervasive myths, sex and cannabis, you have to be stoned, stoned sex,

if you apply to body, it’s not gonna get you high, really useful, some folks don’t want to be high

flexibility, interact with plant medicine without intoxicating effects

things that will get you high, inhalation, ingesting, sublinguals, be mindful of smoking

effects rapidly 5-15 minutes, edibles, up to 2 full hours to feel effects

digestive track

thc goes through digestive system turns into 11 hydroxy, sedate, body focused version of thc, edible high different

edibles aren’t gonna make you crazy, however very very easy to overdo

guestimating, story dispensary, start too high

10mg take you on quite a ride

be very mindful about ways in which they interact with any kind of plant medicine

feel in, be present with experience, always add more later, impossible to subtract

TP: edibles face, I’m thinking everything at once, had some doozies, myself, took long time to realize, shouldn’t be potent, in something you’re gonna wanna take whole bites of and scarf down, cookies and brownies, should stuff a chili

how you describe effect of sensations apply to very sensitive genital tissues, how does it alter sensitivity of areas

AM: multifacited approach, everybody experiences differently, depends on how your body interacts, tolerance body chemistry, hormone levels

anything I’m gonna tell you, effects to look out for, grain of salt, mileage may very

broadly speaking thc is vasodialator, blood vessels capillaries to expand

more blood flow to area, mimicking arousal

swelling, in a good way, erections, notice tissue, blushing, thc when applied, kind of an important thing

more blood flow, more responsive tissue, hightened sensitivity

cbd, all the rage, cool, useful, not quite panacea, placebo, marketing, is helpful, manage expectation

cbd good for anti inflammatory, helpful if you have swelling that’s not good

inflammed tissues from trauma

if you’re playing with body chemistry do talk to doctor

due diligence

for me been to dozens of doctors, pain with penetration, no one could help me

thc reduction of discomfort

thc/cbd work well together

absence of discomfort, diminished discomfort

hightened sensitivity,

stamina, multiple orgasms

increased production of vaginal fluids, wetness from topicals

vasodialation, top reason

kick off lube centers

I’m a fan

TP: thanks so much, first time I thought about how it seems like the more holistic approach to erectile dysfunction, people might try this before they try something more big pharma-ish

something you’ve researched with clients

ED issue folks?

AM: I take a very holistic approach to ED, in my work with clients, really like to decentralize the phallus, sex can occur at different levels, less of I’m not hard so we can have sex, mouths, hands, toys, …

cock rings, reach for help create harder more sustained erections

with cannabis and erections very much, be very careful, threshold helpful, increase blood flow, very easily cross into “stoner boner” you can’t

erections more active process, if really distracted, really stoned, may not be able to focus enough on erection

try small small doses, see how works for you, holistic approach, dick doesn’t have to be hard to have a good time sexually, all these other things I can do,

TP: to your point, you’ve mentioned this before, decentralize the phallus hashtag,

from my experience I could see that decentralizing the phallus process, a lot of other folks like myself, working with other men, teach to have more mastery, awareness, stages of arousal, more in control of premature ejaculation, maintaining erections, arch of testosterone

can definitely bring attention, through self pleasure, more of a tantric lingam massage experience, wouldn’t want to have to maintain an erection to get someone else off, if just doing you or someone else just doing you

on that note, don’t know if something you administer, knowledge/experience

sexological body workers

pelvic massage work

AM: haven’t interfaced directly in formal sense, I do some hands on work in my practice

oils to play parties, tends to go really well

these oils are meant to be a marinade, don’t work in real time, actually much more effective for vulva/yoni more so than penises, unless you stick dick in jar for 20 minutes, don’t have some absorption as vulva

TP: enter the mangina

AM: certainly do anal absorption, suppositories, rectal absorption, very effective great for prostate, anal play,

penises, inhalation, ingestion, method more effective with regard to sexuality and pleasure, topicals for penises not super effective, a few folks works awesome, others, makes it terrible

TP: eventually formal studies, I am myself uncut, uncircumcized, can’t really compare in one life time to either, a plus for my absorption, this makes me also wonder if you have advice for strains for either smokable or edible that would be more exciting, stimulating for maintain erections, fun to have a stoner boner that works

AM: nice when that works out, not able to give specific, how going to work for you and body, everybody’s different strain that works for you and your body not work for someone else

strains can be different

things that make a different, even indica sativa

have to put on science hat, read lab results

turpines end up shaping experience

completely subjective

not exact science, not as easy as oh yeah smoke this and that will work for you

TP: emotional labor of doing trauma advocacy work, curious if you have adapted the cannasexual practices/teachings/offerings, for people who, physical pain, pathways advise people on to integrate different forms of cannabis in more psychospiritual healing tool kit for sexual trauma

AM: examine what’s getting in the way, pain, stress, stuck in head, flashbacks, disconnected from body, try different cannabis products see what’s useful in that area

random strain, gambling, don’t know how it’s gonna hit you, intention

more effective to get clear on what it is that you’re going for

for me, pain with penetration, topical really useful

injury from accident or trauma, knee, wrist

mental block, getting triggered, feeling disconnected from body, things you can inhale, different strains, which one is helpful to quite down voice in head

feel sensations in body

no one thing is gonna heal your trauma

not gonna be cannabis, or session with healer

awareness around body needs, communicate in real time

therapeutic professional

trauma healing journey, not just one shot, did this now I’m fixed

never want someone to say ashley said I can help my trauma with cannabis

it can help, it’s a tool

diagnosed ptsd

TP:

I’ve had to go through this initiation with cannabis over the years, life hacker, bio hacker thing, figuring out how to mitigate and minimize episodes of paranoia, don’t want to say overdose

gardening, green thumb/brown thumb

start with mint, rosemary, vs tomato, dries out, get triggered traumatized, brown thumb, a lot of times cannabis, negative formative experiences, sets them up for continue failure,

general advice around mitigating bad trip for smoking or eating weed

AM: overconsumption issue, thc has biphasic effect, opposite effect at high and low doses, subjective, broadly appropriate doses for you body, chemistry, likely to feel euphoria, relaxation, pain relief, hungry, social, spacey overall pleasant

when crosses over level, transitions into paranoia, nausea, dizziness, panick attacks, rapid heart rate, threw up once after a dab, more than system could handle

avoid that, low and slow

if somebody’s handing you something you’ve never had before, what do I need to know about this

cannabis events, last few years, stations set up people walk up and do a dab, vaporizing cannabis concentrate, 50-90% thc, average flower strain smoking, between 10 and 30 % thc, way more than would normally get in just a breath

way too much, have a bad time

or take an edible wait 30 minutes, don’t feel anything, take more, then 1.5 hours later, regretting all life choices in order

on that ride for 4-6 hours with edibles, can’t over stress importance of low and slow, think microdosing

TP: so useful, pivotal bit of insight

overdosing it’s that simple

you overdosed, if you drank too much alcohol the first time…

AM: usually don’t say overdose, OD means you’re gonna die, you’re not, even if you consumed shit tons of thc, you may wish you were dead, but you will not die, you cannot toxically overdose on thc, you can over consume

TP: overconsume, psychological stomach ache

AM: or actual stomach ache, small dab take me into next year

TP: kids these days, ok boomer, I filled in for somebody at a booth, trade show conference, everyone smokin themselves silly, all the people half my age, dabbing like it was going out of style, I didn’t take anything, just sitting there, worst splitting headache, chemical, felt like inhaling burnt tires

studies, is there any other words of caution around dabbing, vaping,

AM: dabbing and vaping, both vaporizing, vaping referring to vap pens, typically people seem to not get as, potency scale, flower not as potent as vape pens, not as potent as dabs, potency spectrum

very limited studies, require money, people not putting money into any of those things

lot of fears last year, vape pens issues with lungs, vap cartridges not idea method

problematic companies, putting bad products on market, cutting with vitamin e oil, counterfit products,

buying vape cartridge from gas station, think about what you’re buying

5 star restaurant or fast food, pay for quality, price point

do research on companies that are reputable

lab results, show they don’t have pesticides, microbials, savvy consumer, go low, less processed the better, organic lifestyle, closer it is to coming out of the ground, pesticides, molds, read lab results, be a savvy consumer

vaping flower is arguably the best way to inhale cannabis, because you are getting the cannabanoids at lower temperature, more effective, opposed to 1000 degree lighter, smoke in lungs, not great, be easier on lungs, may be better choice to consider

vaping flower

dabs be mindful of extraction method, butane, c02, heat and pressure, called rosin, my fav, very holistic, very nature, flower squish between 2 hot pieces of metal, organic, yummy, preserve turpines, broad spectrum flavor profile, do research

internet is vast resource a lot of shit out there, good stuff too

sex and cannabis professional alliance

articles all about sex and cannabis, one member is harvard md, two members, colleague sex educator, product formulator, robust group of experts, tips and insights

TP: awesome, in general from horticulture, eating utensils, moving away from heating up plastic in all sectors of life

old fashioned, I know about water pipes and chillums, one hitters, roaches, blunts, don’t know about high tech stuff millenials running around with, do like the notion of vaporizing, old giant magic ball looking things

opportunities to say, glass and metal only, very few plastic parts, for burning mechanism, imagine people are heating up a lot of plastic, I’m a wrong

AM: don’t see a lot of plastic in materials, in terms of the was in which you would consume, don’t see a ton of plastic, doesn’t stand up to heat, metal, glass, ceramic,

fav vap, vap exhale, desktop vaporizer, outside is plastic, never gets heated, everything that gets heated is either metal or glass, convection vaporizer, set temperature, lot of those on the market

ghost vaps, dozens, possibly hundreds

find the ones that are most inline with your values

TP: that’s a great introduction to cannasexual expertise, want to spend time talking about general sex coaching

certain modality traditions, how would you introduce that sector of the buffet of you

AM: not like most people, a little different, trauma informed, queer, body positive, inclusive coach, intend to be as thoughtful about things like trauma, body dysmorphia, gender, …as possible

masters program, philosophy, existentialism, western philosophy, inform the way I approach issues, question assumptions, reframing limiting beliefs

recommend folks have therapist and a sex coach

coaching if future oriented, solutions focus, where are you and where do you want to be and what’s getting in the way

opposed to how did you get this way, how do you want to integrate that into your narrative

TP: interesting, rebel, alternative, do you have advice for people who, its interesting when you have a client who is walking between worlds of orthodox therapeutic offerings and then having to reconcile 2 different voices and influences, do you feel like you ever clash with the mainstream therapeutic modalites, or stay in a lane where there’s no friction, is that possible

AM: so many varieties of mainstream, not all align with my values, from tantra, sex education, things I don’t agree with

I diverge, very inclusive don’t rely on gender binary, people with vulvas and people with penises, to not gender

hippie woo-woo witch, lot of focus on crystal healing, egg crystals in pussy

dangerous to be putting porous materials

toxic shock

TP: I don’t know enough about, I refer people out, to zoom in on that a bit, do you feel like, I’m sold, reports of women, as a penis having person, the experience of making love to a vulvaed person who has a yoni egg of some variety of material, their dexterity with pc muscles sense of awareness of themselves, nothing comes close and I never want to go back, the egg thing is something I’m sold on, still confused around what is safe or unsafe, to what degree, could we zoom in on that

AM: its a materials issue, there have been kegel balls, yoni egg is fancy hippie woo woo word for kegel balls, putting circular shaped item into vagina, using it to focus on clenching and releasing pelvic muscles, nothing wrong with that, that’s great, mindful in development, really great, no issue

it’s a material issue, crystals are not things you should put into vagina, however if you want a kegel ball made of silicone, of which there are many, or glass or metal or any other nonporous material, you’re golden

against idea, new age, rose quartz, heal me from inside, if we’re talking about energy, doesn’t have to be touching, it’s all magic, put on pubic mound…should have same effect

crystal healing, I use…i’m a fan…i don’t put them inside, porous material, can get bacteria embedded you cannot cleanse away, even soak with alcohol, soap and water, can’t completely sterilize them

bacterial vaginosis, yeast infection, reinfect yourself,

not supposed to leave it in for 6 hours a day

not good, to keep pc muscles clenched all day long

you have to relax, and contract, important to be able to both

most people with vulvas have too much tension

missing from yoni egg conversation, I’m gonna put this rose quartz in my pussy and it’s gonna heal all my shit…no no no, let’s not get carried away

TP: happy medium, just be mindful about mitigating risks, not going all in or all out, interesting

AM: you could put in condom, crystal core in middle of metal or silicon toy, but just throw a condom on it, that’s fine

TP: keep it simple stupid

AM: don’t over think it, rectally, don’t want to put anything in your ass that doesn’t have a bass

TP: sidebar, I’m good to go, coming close to good hour, feeling like, plenty for people to take notes on, give you some time to get back on track with exploration of your general sex coaching offerings, tell people how they can find you

AM: sex coaching primary work with women identified folks and couples, client based presently, all my sessions via zoom, don’t have to worry about vicinity, every once in awhile, in person, vip clients,

clients all over the place

coaching is definitely premium for good reason, really work hard with clients, give all tools at my disposal, resources, books I’ve read, things I’ve gathered into professional tool kit, offerings if coaching is not in your financial purview

podcast, free, access to my brain, not able to work with me

elevated intimacy, everywhere podcasts are available, really really great opportunity to get access

destin gerek on a few episodes ago, his new book, great opportunity for folks to get free knowledge

elevatedintimacy.com

hand sex master class

dirty talk quick start guide, email list

first to hear when dirty talk course is available for purchase, excited to offer online courses, privacy, own time, exciting offering

couples retreat in Jamaica, plan, end of october, over halloween weekend, sex and cannabis couples retreat, at cannabis friendly resort

lovedirtytalk.com

phone sex operator for a year, very much my wheel house, teaching dirty talk, easy for me, want to make it easy for other people

TP: I’ve been phone sex operator myself, should be general requirement for any sales, marketing, college track to be able to speak with confidence

phoriawellness.com coupon code cannasexual, save 10%

Sexorcism the Tantric Opera Episode 16 “The Lost Art of Lingam Massage”

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CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THIS VIDEO FOR FREE!

This video depicts a tantric lingam massage featuring Maya Rati and the track Holistic Debauchery

Stream the Track on Spotify

 

Sexorcism the Tantric Opera Episode 15 “Om Namah Shivaya”

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CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THIS VIDEO FOR FREE!

This video depicts a tantric breast massage in a salt water bath featuring Maya Rati and the track Om Namah Shivaya, lyrics are below:

Stream the Track on Spotify

From my Shiva
To your Shakti
I will support you
When you need me

From my Shiva
To your Shakti
I take your pain away
With divine healing

Om Namah Shivaya
Om Namah Shivaya
Om Namah Shivaya
Om Namah Shivaya

Close your eyes
Where ever you are
Take a deep breath,
Feel my hands on your heart
I hold you close
From behind
Warmth from my breath
Sends shivers down your spine

I turn you around
Look into your eyes
Kundalini awakens
Your smile grows wide
In the moments
When you feel alone
Remember our dance
Is your eternal home

Allie Eve Knox pic

Revolutionizing Adult Industry Payments with Allie Eve Knox of SpankChain TPP251

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In this episode I’m joined by Allie Eve Knox, VP of Sales at SpankChain for a exploration of her crypto journey and her role at the illustrious SpankChain crypto company

Allie is a Fetish Performer, Content Creator, VP of Sales at SpankChain

My Non Verbatim Show Notes:

allie nox vp sales

super in debt,grad school, camming at night, do it house, didn’t have to sit in traffic

2014,

started shooting porn

custom videos, out of bedroom, camming

2017 found spank chain

got in fight with somebody on twitter,

you should hire me, sent resume, i work her now, these are the things i’m gonna do

coming into start up tech space, adult liaison, didn’t know how to deal with my dominatrix character

working with them since ICO

putting out a bunch of pr

we were so strange

aliens in the room

realized, people

weren’t assimilated into tech

did an ico in ico days 2017,

white paper, cam site, crypto only camsite, launched beta april 2018, no privates, no personal chat, site looked really good

beta for a year

discovered, shit hit the fan with crypto, started tanking, people stopped wanting to spend

hard to find user base to part with money

credit card payments brought in more traffic

user account process, get key phrases, all typical crypto stuff

people were really confused by it, constantly losing there stuff

had to completely overhaul the back end

took camsite down, launched few products

hopefully will be bring cam site back up

now first version, model profiles build off of that , where cam site and clip site built on

find favorite model

just put out very first version at AVN

model’s able to get own custom link,

here’s my link pay me through there

links to video content

basically whatever you want

so many benefits in crypto

I’ve had all my accounts shut down, I was violating the rules for selling panties or content

started taking crypto

no one’s gonna protect the adult industry

spankchain, we’re gonna make this for the adult industry

everything’s anonymous, not a thing where I wife is gonna find his credit card purchases

won’t get shut down, low fees

some sites take 50%

credit card processing, we pay taxes

with crypto we just take a 1% fee, .5% for merchants

stable coin, super exciting

really simple cash out process

wills done excellent job of making user experience super easy and intuitive

appreciate community coming together

building a platform models want to use

charge backs, all typical shit

take you’re finances

booty stable coin

really nice to count on,

really nice if I have $250 goal it’s gonna be the same price

whatever you bring in, minus 1% fee

at first didn’t have this on camsite in beta

having to explain price fluctuation

models want to know how to sell things

we just want to make it work, all the technical stuff I don’t know, it doesn’t matter

that’s all I need

I don’t really know how cash works or

don’t have anybody we partner with

gemini sex worker friendly

really good dealings with them

still have to go through exchange, kyc all those things

but I can kind of tease this, we are working on regulations for fiat offramp

load up on spank pay, go and pay bill

going through regulatory process on that, we’ll know mid march

due diligence, paperwork on all that

started camming, paid out on pay card

I could just go cash out automatically

really save me in times when I needed to get paid

that’s really gonna open doors for people

if we start seeing it in everyday practice showing friends

really hope that’s what’s coming next, h

we’re gonna clone product for other people in adult

cannabis, having a hell of a time with payments

there always getting fucked too, we’re gonna co-brand a product, like a white label

we targeted the people who needed this product

we wanted to build the things that the people needed

adult really needed it

this is what we’re all stoked on, this is how we live our lives

the bigger picture is white label it for whoever wants it

start with adoption for people who really need it

people who are unbankable

kind of a solution to a whole lot of problems

urge community to participate in this

send crypto on this

for me, someone in my camroom taught me how to use crypto

2018 started showing up different attitudes towards crypto

adult is always the forefront of technology

maybe if it takes off only a handfull will use it,

never came in there, we’re gonna change the game, we’re another solution we can solve a few problems, we’re hear, we don’t wanna fight

showing up year after year, friendly, hang out with models, provided good community

people started to take us more seriously

started winning awards, good press, kind of the black sheep, kinda strange ones

we were like the red headed step children of the industry

we kept showing up being friendly and cool, putting out products

markets have crashed but we’re still here

a little easier this last year, proven numbers, partners that really like us

been kind of a turning point

now its t

camsite didn’t have a lot of features

small team

takes a long time to do a lot of really cool shit

gave a space for people do do whatever they wanted

people slept

people garden

crypto allows you to do whatever the hell you want

free speech

so open, accepting

it was a no pressure zone, be yourself

smoke, eat

no ranking, no cam score

people were able to monetize it

one time, battle test on site, everybody on at the same time

we want you to break shit, push buttons all be streaming at the same time

spank house, going in tipping,

models streaming, we built this fucking product, spent every moment of our lives

really cool, everybody in this moment, so proud, so thankful model

spank house corporate culture

boys lived in venice beach, had a loft, had extra bedroom, most of team was remote

people would sleep on couches, get together a week a month, bang through things

boys had that place until this winter, downsized, it was a really great spot where the whole team could be together

we’re still remote, devs in canada, I’m in texas, to get team together on call once a week is not enough

company culture, spend a lot of time together, hang out together eat together, work together

we all get together and spend time together

working on this product, lived and breathed

I have a spank chain shirt,

we still have a problem, and have to build a solution

if eth is at 100 or 1000, still that problem out there, no one else is gonna do it

no one else has stepped up

we’re going to work every last second we possibly can

that’s one reason I’m still in this

I need someone to help me protect my money

I need this product

I will work tirelessly to make this product

this what drives every person on the team

whatever that markets gonna do

full force, here are the things we’re gonna do

market has changed so much

Grace Diaz Yoni Squirting Class

Yoni Squirting for Sexual-Spiritual Health and Wellness with Grace Diaz TPP237

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In this episode I’m joined again by Grace Diaz to learn all about yoni squirting!

About Grace:

My passion of healing began at the age of ten, when my father, a Reiki Master of 20 years initiated me as a Reiki Master in Medellin, Colombia. For years after arriving back to the United States, I began teaching Usui Reiki all over the east coast.

Reiki lead me to Tantra. I was initiated and certified into Shakti-Pakti-Tantric-Yoga by my mentor Tafari Sudra, in 2011, and it allowed me to heal my 10-year eating disorder through what I believe was a neuroplastic effect.

My organizations, Yoni Grace, LLC and The Vaginal Voice Foundation along with my book, “How to Use the Yoni Egg for Sensual Healing” were created to share the wisdom I experienced with Vaginal Yoga and Yoni Eggs.

In 2011 I began distributing Yoni Eggs to women worldwide while educating them through what I was taught through interviewing over 5,000 women in Yoni Egg focus groups.

I host Vaginal Yoni Egg Yoga events in the Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Miami Beach, New York, Denver, Bogota and Medellin, Colombia and even in Istanbul, Turkey.

I also certify women in Vaginal Yoni Egg Yoga training for their at-home businesses.

My Vaginal Yoni Egg Yoga events are one of a kind and focus on helping women embrace their sensual wisdom for spiritual and physical wellbeing.

Please visit her website at:
https://yonigrace.com/

 

Shroom Goddess Kali

Lab Report: Shaktification as Non-Invasive Demonectomy TPP232

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In this episode I share a lab report from mid 2019 which documents an important break through in my sexual healing with psychedelic goddess worship research. The mixed and mastered version of the Psychedelic Goddess Worship track on the Sexorcism the Tantric Opera album proved to have powerful potentials to induce what I’m calling “shaktification as non-invasive demonectomy. My (non-verbatim) show notes are below.

Non invasive is used for surgeries, the body is not penetrated

Man cave, goddess temple lave, unclinical lab, produced an album to create the vibrational landscape for a non-invasive demonectomy on my self

multiple sessions, increasing doses’

could solve the problem of how do you induce a non-invasive demonectomy, that’s effective, unlike the techniques of the dominant paradigm of exorcism, the catholic church and their protocols

with an understanding, time does not heal, if untreated the infections only get worse and in the case of men, there’s a higher potential of survivor-perpetrators

for women, less likely to harm others, but will often harm themselves, that’s the handy work of the demons that were inserted into them in acts of abuse and molestation

demons express themselves in female survivors much less as sexual offense

in males, less divine feminine grace, cults of gang rape, women don’t usually form thug cults of rape

don’t know of any witches who are known to have done that

but men, gang up and bully runts on football team, and geeks in the classroom, they gang up and rape the cheerleaders, their so susceptible and when you get survivors in that mix, its that much more of a cascading effect

it should be axiomatic, if that infection doesn’t get disinfected immediately, than you are harboring, just like Geiger shows us, is the “face huggers”, that’s what he’s talking about, it’s all demons, their parasites, inject themselves into human host, sexual aliens, if there was a xxx Giger, that’s me, showing what’s going on

gotta figure out how to interrupt the larval cycle, to interrupt the propagation

some times sexual penetration is appropriate, however there are times when it’s not

there’s a magical power that flows through, the goddess kali shaki, and the magic mushroom, what I can demonstrate and have footage of, is capturing the rapid seizure like convulsions that occur with the shakti is invoked, not just shivers, not just normal kriyas, a controlled seizer

a presence of mind, it’s possible to surrender, but be prepared, yoga, martial arts, dancing, landscaping, know my body and have agility to phase in and out of possession states

not faking, not faking, not a parlor trick, not a magic trick, not putting on a show

I have the ability to shut it off, goddess has been earning trust from me so I can surrender more
use elbows to brace neck, stay ahead of the sense of more intense movements

set and setting for combat training, you could use padding, or train on the beach

design consciousness of low impact, the sand absorbs impact, avoiding pavement

expecting to trash around, expecting to be taken for a ride, do due diligence to be warmed up enough

not be in a contortion to snap their neck, people doing jiu jitsu, they’re aware of when they’re in danger, and maneuver out of it

gotta be bad ass ninja warriors

it’s possible, I’ve proven to myself, that adding more people is beneficial, but in the dilemma of when you can’t add anybody, what do you do, well this seems to be it, maybe not the only thing, but could be more effective than calling the local priest exorcist

they did the deeds themselves and now they’re gonna do the exorcism, you brought the demons you’re not taking them out

sexorcism that doesn’t involve any inappropriate touch or any touch at all

it happened to me to a degree never before experienced

it’s happened before, but not to this extent

she’s like an infinite array of octopoid, insectoid, she has the ability to move you in a lot of different ways

she’s going in and doing a demonic abortion

what she’s doing is what an abortion doctor would do

as sad and heartbreaking as it can be, that’s what goddess kali is doing the demons in the chakras, she’s sucking and pulling them out

these are fully formed, although I do see often that there are multiple life stages, there are hatchlings, old ones, etc. we don’t know how long they live

shamans probably have a clue, but we’re grasping in the dark, but that’s what’s happening

if you watch sexorcism the tantric opera where there’s a lot of hand laying on people, sometimes just the aura, it’s a lot of handy work, but what has been achieved to an extreme with me, is that with the track “psychedelic goddess worship” singing the mantras along with it, its raiding the demon nest, allowing kali to do the demonectomy, extracting these violent creatures, shifts in the amount of demonic load, measurable, this is like colonics

I think I made an important discovery, a hands off, solo, non-invasive demonectomy, you may want to try this yourself and go from no medicine, to cannabis low to high dose, then mushrooms low to high dose, and experiment with the music, looping the track psychedelic goddess worship in setting where you have people watching over you, and you’re surrounded by cushions, and you have martial arts/yoga background, be agile like a cat to prevent injury, if that’s you and you’re suffering and you’ve not found healing in toxic relationships, in psychiatric drugs, or yoga postures, or vipasan, or being saved by Jesus, or getting an exorcism, or singing hare krisna, or doing a detox, I say try everything else , this is a last resort

these are things that I”ve seen that will turn you white, like Winston from Ghost Busters

old school orthodox sri rama krisna order kali worshipers say things like think about it, people go to kali when they’re crushed, when they’re hating life because “it least there will be peace”, they’re harangued by demons, you go to the kali temple and there is peace, hopefully not a patriarchal priesthood

I emphasis female kali priestesses in my work, trying to get back the secret mantras, and decode the art,

the braminization of the goddess, “she was a tribal deity who was absorbed into vedic pantheon”

she was/is a village goddess

decolonize your tantra

get back to psychedelic village level goddess worship

occupying armies, languages, soma, occupying, absorb goddesses take them away from the people then feed it back to them and it’s all corrupted, bastardization by priest craft, put in empire of ego, male ego

I bow down to women who are priestesses, sorting it out, pagan villager medicine woman shamanism craft, that’s what we want to get all the way back down to

the pure hearted matriarchs of the village, witch craft

I’ve said it enough times now, how to translate this, we need to give a voice to the witches and let them do it laboratory conditions

I’m just the messenger, the source is the dakinis and yoginis, who are in state of grace simply because they dont’ have a penis that can be weapons

I don’t have a clue about what was really going on with the cult of the 64 yoginis but there seems to have been a ratio of men to women where women are quite obliged to run the show, quite obliged to minimize and intelligently design with the shiva energy, operating within their coven

I will only get better and better at doing the scholarship on these claims

women are blessed and women are cursed and we need to address this without the backlash

we can be brothers in prostration to the goddess, and experience our masculinity in its most potent form

we’ll get hardest erections when we worship the goddess

ritualized sexual matriarch, that’s probably a useful simplified term

a more rapid depiction

high dose mushrooms, safe-ish setting

looping the track psychedelic goddess worship, mixed and mastered version

never before got as far

turned into an astral battlefield, astral combat, very much like scene in big trouble in little china, when Lo Pan fights Eg Shen, astral avatars battle on their behalf

I got into contortions, spontaneous mudras, like speaking in tongues with your hands, never been trained to do, never done before, seeing my fingers become like black widow spider legs, beautiful sacred geometric formations, like weaving a spider web, as I invoke her more and sing her in more, I become what looks like a mix of black soldier fly and cobra, slithering sounds, autonomically happening the more I surrender, seeing myself as sort of dragon fly mixed with black widow, seeing now how you can allow yourself to be, in a benevolent manner, but possessed, so she can devour demons through you

co-presence between dimensions, I had to think omg this is the fly, I’m Jeff Goldbloom, but that was so gruesome and hideous, but this was beautiful, how could that be re-imagined so it was totally beautiful…so the triumphantness of the incredible hulk, still shocking and bizarre, but whats’ the more beautiful transformation where you see it as totally beautiful and elegant, nothing horrific about it, what would that be, there’s a shape shifting character.

it’s like super mario brothers when you get the tanuki suit, you jump on the mushroom and then basically you become big, you go fast, you have super powers you jump high, game play is enhanced, and with the tanuki suit you get this magic item, this feather, if you get it you can jump and almost fly, you get lift off like a helicopter, its been a long time but the thing I’m pointing to is, imagine you have the power to shape shift, as powerful as incredible hulk but not as nasty and freakish as the fly, it’s not like a horror movie like Freddie Kreuger, nightmare on elm street part two where he comes out of the guy and just sheds him, that’s the ugly version, that’s not what I’m talking about, she’s elegantly sharing my space, I am her she is me, queen bee, cobra snake, transitioning to that with the beauty and elegance of the tanuki suit. Maybe in the Star Trek movie where Kirk ends up getting it on with a shape shifter, she was totally hot, she was actually a beast that can shape shift, imagine that you could totally shape shift into a creature and have it be seamless

it’s possible to invoke the goddess and for her to embody you, and not just putting on make up and pretending to be her iconic formation
I normally see her outside of me, this time more than ever, she enveloped me, I’ve been enveloped by her, clamped down on me, fucking me to purify my chakras, but still being outside of me, penetrating, workign through me, she can swim through me, but like being enveloped by a jellyfish, about to get teeth into my chakras

but this way, she is in my like thundercats

another bad version is like the Edgar suit from Men in Black, demons wear me like the Edgar suit, but Kali wears me to extract the demons from the Edgar suit so I can just be Edgar again, then she’s in the suit, but not possessing to do harm

Sufiana didn’t report becoming the insectoid being, but she described herself rolling out her tongue and hissing, the deity possession trance state, the shamanic healing state

I documented that process later, being very limited financially, very limited with legal sanctioning if at all, having some blessing and bold outlaws to join forces with me, not me manipulated a cult, but me offering educational tools, not involving my dick

I keep my pants on for people who are not my lovers, is that fair, that’s probably a fair way to say it, if you’re my client my pants are on, if you’re my lover, that’s negotiable

back to the non-invasive…able to move massive chunks, being rattled like a freight train, by her, squeezing and working with her to do the contracts, she’s doing the work of the abortion doctor, while I’ll in contracts and pushing out at the same time, it’s so harsh, but you know there have to have been abortions throughout time in crude conditions, certainly not modern legally sanctioned conditions, where the intent was to kill the fetus during the contractions of labor

she’s an insectoid alien goddess, with blackskin, and bejeweled eyes, like the tantric scriptures say, read the 1008 names of Kali and you’ll see the depictions

I need artists to help me with this, graphic novelists, visionary artists

if you could see a woman in labor, shaking convulsing, contracting, seizures and convulsion and simultaneously a female abortion doctor reaching in so as not to leave pieces inside trying to get everything out in one whole piece and eating that thing, but it’s not a baby it’s not in the womb, it’s demons in the chakras

an interplay between goddess kali as the hungry abortion doctor, it’s her doing what she’s evolved to do which is eat demons, I’m serving my demons to the goddess,

an interplay of surrender, and the embodying of the goddess through allow her energy and body to enter your body in a way that is non invasive, she is invasive but in a good way and in a welcomed way,

but no instruments, no cutting devices, no fingers, hands, sexual contact by humans, that’s the best way to describe what’s happening
been in this state many many times, what was different this time was the force

this was the first time I was able to do what I wanted to do all these years, was able to carry it out, to a potent degree, get a massive chunk of demonic biomass, with love and power and strength and courage of the goddess inside of me, her power to purge me, with her mandibles, ready to feast, and it being a much much bigger portion, to the degree that I got the sense that her stomach was full, it had only been oderves up to this point, they were just taking out small grains of rice with chopsticks, she was going in their with her salad tongs to get massive platefuls at once, she got so full, I felt like okay I’m exhausted, she’s full, but after these big chunks got out, hadn’t happened before

very light, blinding to the 3rd eye, sheaths my vision, no more seeing the demonic monsters coming out of me, that make alien look like bambi, all of it, once this massive chunk was taken out gets replaced by this beautiful white light, scaring me, did I damage my optic nerve, I’m just seeing pure white, fuck, there’s some kind of damage…no this is the loving light, dont’ freak out and panic now, go with it, enjoy

instructed to use my own hands, placed fingers against root chakra at the perineum, while the white light was there, use the power to seal the chakra, using massage, using this light healing energy, to use mudras, palm chakras, finger chakras, to do this healing work, like cauterizing a wound, the shakti through palm chakra and finger chakras whill the white light is there, wow, fuck yeah, anatomical surgical orthodoxy, what we think about when we talk about a chakra tune up

these analogies to auto mechanics and surgeons are very apt

you’re doing the work with her, auto-non invasive demonectomy

I had the power and free will to move my body, re-adjust for comfort, drink some water, get up and just make sure the door was locked, again, not ideal conditions

there you have it, what I’ve been working on for years, one of the most glorious since 5.5 year ago initiation with Sufiana

I would like to just be living in the world that we created, to never have been separated by financial duress, within the realm of reasonable periodicity, with medical staff, scientists, medical researchers, the Bangladesh UN security force, that’s what I fantasize about, having the support to do it right

this is like version 0.0001 of the technology, this is not ready, I don’t know what it’s ready for, if you’re suicidal right now and it’s a question of you killing yourself and you dabbling into what I’m talking about, I’m willing to take that risk, this isn’t medical advice, this isn’t therapeutic/psychiatric advise, I’ll make all the disclaimers, in the spirt of YOLO, (actually its not yolo because you live many times) don’t do this in the spirit that everybody wants to see the machine elves that Terence Mckenna talks about, this is a little more extreme than that, do this because it’s life and death for you right until we get the point with research to where so mild version exists, like salsa there will be mild, medium, hot, warning label, extreme hot

if you want to dabble because you’re an extreme case of demon infection, they’re in those hard to reach spots, there’s that song where my demons hide, you want to know, It’s possible to find out, I’m not gonna tell everyone to follow my path

Kali Mandir satsang, a lot of these scriptures, don’t think that they’re all agreed upon by all the priests and priestesses, there are things that are written in stone, but a lot of the scriptures were people exploring and taking notes, like a yogi could be saying “when I said this mantra, at this place and this time in this way, I got reversed gang banged by hot astral dakinis, and I don’t know if this will happen to you, this is me I’m doing me, you do you, I don’t want to implant thought forms and skew it, and contaminated the control group, I’m just trying to build on my own research, I love what the yogis say, talking about female astral non human entities, coming down purifying his soul and doing all this healing work, sounds like what I’m talking about and if he were on mushrooms he’d be able to describe in greater detail, or maybe he was a yogi that attained an endogenous psychedelic state

nothing new here, I’m saying things that have been suppressed for by patriarchy demonic war lords for 1000s of years, but were open source tech as sexual shamanic witchcraft, held by cultures of the world, just business as usually to maintain a shamanic community

when its a matter of infestation of lower chakras, there’s some modality that’s not creepy, predatory or abusive, to somehow empower people to have auto-non-invasive demonectomy sexorcism, auto invasive demonectomy sexorcism, I’ve milked my own prostate, kali possessing me, shards of light coming in, healing, demons coming out, most stunning gorgeous arrays, beauty is subjective, every woman and aspiring woman who ever put on make up with the intent to beautify herself, what every single one strives for is what can be seen when you invoke the goddess with these mantras, and with 3rd eye open with mushrooms

me doing me, phenomenologically, in my own bubble, the most beautiful feminine facial features, and graceful sensual movement, and just every woman or aspiring woman aspires to be, that’s what I’m given, that’s what I’m seeing and if it wasn’t for seeing that I would have ended me life a long time ago on this journey, the brutal beautiful truth is that you gotta go through hell to get to heaven, for the sake of what I’m saying now, I’ve seen the most grotesque creatures I could ever possibly imagine, and take all the monsters ever made in art and film and multiply that by a hundred, and you maybe will get close to how freakish and grotesque and disturbing and mortifying, miracle you’re not catatonic seeing this, the antidote to that hideousness, that makes it tolerable, to look at it as you’re pulling it out, the unpleasantness of removing a tape-worm, the unpleasantness of disinfecting that wound with that pus in it, and all of that, I know there are places in the world where there are blood parasite or urinary tract parasites, pulling a barbed fish parasite out of your urethra, that should feel pretty hideous and I bet that what I see in these ceremonies induces a similar level of mortification, disgust that you would have if you had to do that, while I’ve had to endure that hideousness, if you ever see the electron microscope of blood parasites, imagine if they were just, if you were in a realm where you were shrunken down to be in a massively dense cluster of all kinds of different blood parasites the ones with the circular mouths, and the ravor sharp thorny looking teeth, and weird suckers and pincers, the most alien, bizarre, monstrous, aquatic looking, arthropod looking blood parasites, imagine you were shrunken down a million times and being eaten alive but what, in scale wise becomes these giant giant monsters, then that’s what it feels like and looks like in there, I’m afraid to teach anyone to do what I have done because I fear that they would ever come back from that state of visual disturbance to where they wouldn’t just immediately slit there own wrists and literally rip there own eyes out,not knowing that they can’t reach far enough in to pull their pineal gland out, are you gonna crack open your head and pull your fuckin 3rd eye out and stomp on it, that’s what you’re gonna wanna do if you fuckin see the shit I’ve seen, omg, its nothing the shamans of the amazon don’t see every fucking day, it’s business as usual to have to confront these grotesque forms of life, if you know that you are bigger than them and you step back and you go no I’m not the shrunken millionth of a size me inside of of their world, their inside of my world and I can step up to them like standing up to a bully and I can exorcism them and I can purge them with the medicine, of course you have icaros in south America , and you have mantras in India, how to have syncretic shamanism, sacred sexuality and healing work, lets bring the best of the cultures and not be left with the patriarchal douche-baggery of suppressing the feminine

seeking the path of the goddess here we are, here I am

I get to see the antidote to that hideousness which is the extreme beauty

what makes it all worth it is the sweet beautiful blessed honor of beholding and being imbued with and making love with and being possessed by and suited up by, I have been suited up by the most loving most beautiful, most exquisitely constructed bioarchitecture deity, I don’t know maybe you gotta be the kind of person that things ants and bees are cute

this is the way to look at it, if you’ve ever thought of how in cartoons they’ve made ants and bees look pretty and feminine, and then sexualize that and m ake it into a super hot, goth, metal, sort of like, matrixy club, goth industrial club, shining latex, everything we think about the dark erotic, she is the dark erotic cartoon bee spider, just a cuteness and sexiness and a otherworldliness and an alienness, how many sexy beautiful loving aliens have we seen in sci fi, someone tell me, some show me some, I’m sure they’re in different comics and things, some of the arists they’re doing it, they’re bringing it, astral ecology with Tom Denney, his artwork is the cover of my book, you only have to wait until my book is released to see what I’m talking about, the beautiful feminine alien insectoid goddess who will turn you on, turn you inside out, but but you right back together, surgically restore the soul parts, tuck your chakras back in to your astral body, kiss you goodnight, tuck you in, all the works, the motherly maternal aspect, the sexual healing dakini wild, again, I’m saying nothing new, because you go to an orthodox kali puja and they are saying kali we love you you are the mother, you are the lover you are the friend, and not at all invoking, you hear the word mofo all the time in this culture, all over the world, I don’t know what’s going on there, this is not a Fredian Oedeple kink or neurosis, this is very different and it’s it’s own thing, I kind of went through my messiah complex already, at first I wanted everybody to fuckin know this, because it defeats the tyranny of all patriarchal world religions, more powerful more profound, more radical, more anarchistic, more revolutionary than any prophet, any christ, any saint, in buddha, any yogi,none of them delivery this unless they’re deep into the worship of kali or the tantric goddesses, of which kali is often considered to be the mother matriarchy, the queen bee of the many goddesses of the tantric pantheon, which is influenced with the vedic pantheon but has interplay ultimately with the village goddesses

the beauty is out there, the truth is out there, the beauty is in her, the truth is in there, you’ll see her the way I see her in Tom Denney’s book and on the cover of my book and I didn’t commission him to do that, he did that because he is tuned in as an artist, the way Terence Mckenna describes it to be an artist who sees the future, who can tap into the astral plane, or have the astral plane tap into them, wish me luck

pray for my protection, I’ll be doing my best to sheriff the perimeter of our reality and clean up the infection sites and to fortify the souls of the next generation and to really hospice the souls of this generation, where I am feeding and nourishing many goddesses and keeping myself as humble as possible with as small as a physical footprint of property ownership as possible, with as few possession as possible, and if surrender my money and wealth as it comes through as I have been doing to my beloved priestesses and trust that as long as they hold the sword above my hands and my head and they chose not to let the sword fall on to my arms and onto my neck than I will be continuing to do my work in a good way, and they will be the beneficiaries, they will be my sexecutioners if the time comes, each with their sharpened swords, ready to take a whack, so be it

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Shamanic Pornography and the Ethics of Consent TPP230

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In this episode I’m sharing the 2019 Xbiz Show Consent Round Table session where I respectfully introduced a question for the panel on the ethics of consent for psychedelic shamanic pornography. Not knowing how I’d be received it took a bit of bravery to speak up but I was met with gracious insight and advisement from industry veterans. They were on point with their concerns and dissuasive remarks, all of which I take to heart and value like gold. I feel that whether you’re a sex work, porn performer or producer, or so called “civilian” with no involvement in the sex industry, this panel is very enlightening, and I thank them all very much for briefly holding space for my niche question.

Tantra Punk Post Ceremony Prayer

Sexorcism the Tantric Opera 01 Post-Ceremony Interview TPP228

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In this episode I’m sharing the post-ceremony interview from Sexorcism the Tantric Opera Episode 01 “Erotic Ghostbusting”.  It’s a trip to re-listen 3 years later and compassionately judge myself for how I walked a narrow path to sustain integrity to my bold claims. Life has not been a beach since then, in some ways I’ve flourished, in some ways I’ve floundered, but I’ve made progress, and as any aspiring scientific explorer knows, the process of proving out theories can be painfully slow. All in all, every breakthrough big and small will always be sweeter the fewer and further between that they are.  The wisdom of the shakti energy of transformation can be fast, but it can also be slow. Trusting, keeping the faith, and holding on for dear life to the integrity of scientific methods and medical study ethics is the name of the long game…

Tantra Punk Meditating

Sexorcism the Tantric Opera 01 Pre-Ceremony Interview TPP227

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In this episode I’m sharing the pre-ceremony interview from Sexorcism the Tantric Opera Episode 01 “Erotic Ghostbusting”. The episode included a beautiful and powerful selection of clips from the full interview and I’ve been holding on to the whole interview for a while with the intent to eventually publish. After re-listening I feel that I’ve held true to the values and principles spoken over 3 years ago now. While I’ve told my story many times, each context brings different energy, passion, purpose, and insight to the transpersonal and universal themes contained within. The moment in my personal evolution that this interview documents is, in a classical tantric sense, as timeless and permanent as an ancient stone, yet as fleeting and transitory as a rain drop over the ocean. I was blessed to be held and heard in this interview and I will return to this moment if I ever feel led astray from my core. It’s impossible to resist change of all kinds, but the spirit of resistance will always adapt to survive.

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Born Positive: Transcending the Stigma of HIV and AIDS with Shawn W TPP222

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In this episode I was blessed to hold space to hear the deeply moving story of a born HIV positive man. He shares intimate insights into how various institutions within society can bring out both the best and worst of the human soul. He’s endured, survived, and transcending immense pain all while pursing fulfilling and nurturing sexual access,  true love and acceptance. It was a sincerely humbling honor to learn of his struggles.  I feel invigorated to continue to grow and evolve and support the acceptance and empowerment of all oppressed and marginalized people.

About Shawn:

Shawn W. was an awkward 80’s baby born in the wilds of Florida with one goal in mind: survival! Hear about some of the crazy adventures he endured including sex, drugs, and living with HIV.

Instagram: @awknerd

Sensual Sharon with Phone

Exploring the Lifestyle of a Phone Sex Artist with Sensual Sharon Somers TPP217

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In this episode I’m joined by Sensual Sharon Somers for a fun and exciting exploration of the lifestyle of a phone sex artist. We learn about how the industry works, what it takes to make it, what to expect, how she’s been able to make it for years as a small business woman, the freedom and efficiency of home business operations, how she compassionately entertains and soothes the bizarre and often wounded sexual psyches of countless men, the patterns she’s observed, the broader ramifications for a more sexually healthy and expressed society, and much much more!

About Sharon :

Sharon has been a phone sex operator, recording artist and writer for adult websites for 11 years now. Her voice is well known online for the recordings of hundreds of erotic short stories she has done that are posted on her own sites and on erotic short stories sites.

https://erotictalkphonesex.com/index.html

https://eroticaudiorecordings.com/

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello Debra Levin podcast episode summaries who is a phone sex artist extraordinaire that’s all kinds of erotic audio and I reached out to The Exodus Community on the forms of extras. Net to see if there are any folks out there would like to do some self promotion and increase I had you keep folks on this podcast and had a few people step up and want to be on the show and then she’s one of them and I’m excited to share this beautiful wild Amazing adult industry with her and learn about 11 years I believe career in doing phone sex and an erotic audio media and I’m also in that game so I always love to meet other people who are doing doing that work and share that talk shopping and learn about some of the tricks of the trade so with that said Sharon do you want to tell us about it whatever detail is appropriate to come ask your true identity and to allow you to have your stage name but just curious if you could tell the story of Sharon Summers if it’s not totally your personal thank you very much for having me first of all being like a lot of ladies in the business unfortunately I got into it because of financial desperation granted that’s not the reason all women get into it but a lot do it, the last chance type of job for some people so I found myself doing that but I I found out pretty quickly that it actually fit perfectly in with my life I wanted something where I can work from home have the freedom of hours to login logout whenever I wanted if I need to go out for the day have a dentist appointment or want to go to the theater to see a matinee I don’t have anybody’s permission I can just log out and go and I love that kind of Freedom it it really just fits in with my nature so I started doing that and then very quickly after getting into the phone sex work I started doing the erotic audios and so clients will submit their stories that they’ve written about their fantasies and I will narrate them for them and they have those to enjoy and listen to over and over and over I mean want to call is over it’s over I don’t record calls or anything help clients don’t either but when they have an erotic audio they can just listen to that anytime they want that’s actually surprised me how many have said oh yes I do he’s a few times a week and I’m like wow you’re really getting your money’s worth out of those and I started doing writing for adult websites I had always written short stories for my own enjoyment before I ever got into anything at all. I’ve been writing short stories ever since I was a teenager and so I wrote a lot of the material for the earlier adios that I did before I mainly started doing one’s the clients submitted their work to me to narrate and so there was an owner of a phone sex company that was interested in posting some of my audio is on his his phone sex site from her clients that we’re waiting for collars and what not and so he said did you write these then I suggest and he said would you be interested in writing some blogs promoting my phone sex websites and I said of course I’ve never done it before but I’m willing to try so I’ve been writing for various phone sex websites for over 10 years on a weekly basis another operators as well because not all ladies enjoy the writing that they don’t have an aptitude for it and some companies actually will require the lady to submit a couple of written works a week because it helps a site with their search engine optimization Drive clients to the side against them higher up in the Google rankings and whatnot so they need somebody to write all this content and ladies that don’t like to write themselves will find somebody like me and I will write it for them then they pay me to do it so I do that in addition to the phone and the erotic audio said I do it’s so fascinating I just feel like we could be on Shark Tank or something right now or some other kind of really found your Niche and you it sounds like this is a calling for you and there’s so many layers of opportunity in ecosystem of feel like you are like pitching to Angel Investors and you’ve got a business plan you’ve got all these things kind of dialed in and and yeah just there should be a training program because it sounds like a dream life really isn’t it built the business unfortunately or fortunately for the veterans like me it has an extremely high turnover of women that we’ll try it some will only last a few hours some will last a few days so I’m a few weeks it’s not that common to find women that have been in it for the long haul like me and yet I know a couple of other ladies that have been doing it for 20 years 35 years have really been in the game from way before the internet even when it was just people working out of little Pocono call centers and whatnot I’ve always worked at home but when it started out before the internet people were working in these call centers I can’t even imagine doing a job like this then I call center it would be crazy but I know some of them have got this experience but a lot of girls that will try it they can’t deal with it they can’t deal with the needs and wants of some of these callers cuz they can be pretty unusual to have the kind waste so they will they’re just their socks off day they can’t do it so it has a very very high turnover of women that do it what do you think it takes to be one of the long-term success. I love to know what what you feel like Nikki. The power well I can only speak for myself I don’t know what motivates other people I think for the ones that really find out quickly that it fits in well with the lifestyle that they want to work from home have the flexibility of ours what have you they make it work and that was the boat that I’m in I never went to college I had never worked from the time I finish high school until I got into this I had only ever looked after my grandmother from the time I finish high school so when you’re here for a number of years you’ve never worked a day in your life your options are kind of limited on the flea and easy I certainly didn’t want to have to go back to school I hated school it just that was not what I wanted I mean who exactly is going to hire somebody that has zero experience you know what are your options McDonald’s or Wal-Mart really and I definitely we knew I did not want to do that so I told myself from day one failure was not an option that I had to make this work and I have made it work there certainly ladies that are a lot more successful profitable than I am but I get by I get by just fine and it just it fits perfectly so I knew that I had to make it work and it definitely helped that I do the audio is in the writing because that supplements my income there’s some lady said they only do calls there’s lots of them that don’t do any audio at all most certainly don’t do any writing so I’m very glad that I have those other things that I do and I do non-adult voice work as well not a lot the majority of the voice works that I do is adult in nature but I still have several companies that I do small jobs for for PBX phone systems where you know you’re doing Prince one for accounting press two for human resources guy do stuff like that as well as those I have several of these small little jobs of months I mean they’re just tiny little things but I always figured no matter how small the job is like that even if this company is only paying me $10 a month that’s $10 I otherwise would not have it all adds to the pot at the end of the month that’s how I look at it so yeah you know sometimes I’ll get 20 of reading some months from a company other time so only be a couple but they all out outfits how you have to look at it and you never know somebody that you’ve worked for they make it some kind of a lead for you of somebody else that wants somebody to do something like this and they’ll recommend you so there’s all kinds of different things by I love the voice over work I do the most boring job I ever had for voice-over was I had to take the series of audios on english-as-a-second-language oh my God that was just torture it really was a job get through it it was just the most boring tedious thing but I’m not there to be entertained I’m there to narrate their script I realized that I’m not there to have a great time so you just get through the work and and that’s it and I’m grateful for all these little voice over jobs that come my way adults or vanilla weather brings up a good point which is that anybody who has or whatever reason the occasion to even dabble in anything they don’t industry it’s going to give you a lot of life skills and negotiation skills communication skills business personal finance all kinds of even even legal sometimes contract writing and reading skills and so I looked that you’ve been able to Branch out and just sounds like you’re living the dream of the freelancer who’s actually been able to make it and then I never have to work for the man in a way that makes you feel like you’re stuck in a cubicle 95 or something him at school, she’s like you don’t know how lucky you’ve got it I wouldn’t say I’ve living the dream you know talking to guys and every day and night about their 2 inch penis as I don’t know where that would be considered living the dream but whenever it talking to the grates on my nerves and I can’t listen to one more of them complain about how they have a 2 inch penis or some other bizarre problem I have I just keep telling myself these people you know your bread and butter people that I’ve told the first thing that they will say is all you’re so lucky to be able to work from home that is one thing that everybody says one of the first things when I when I tell people that I do that they’re they’re jealous they want to be able to work from home and they can’t and some of them I got long commutes and I mean I love live theater I go to Toronto several times a year to go see shows and lots of times I’ll be sitting on the train I go on the commuter train in the morning and these poor people there like slave helicopter laptops own and everything doing their work on the way to work and sometimes they’ll tell me oh yeah I take the train for an hour there and an hour back or there was one way to deceive in 2 hours each way I thought what kind of life is that to be commuting one to two hours each way I wouldn’t do that for anyting you know my commutes for four feet from the bed to the chair her basically I just can’t imagine people having to commute like that in their whole lives are wrapped up in this is like dark when they leave the house dark by the time they get home that’s not a life for me so I’m very very grateful I can work at home awesome yeah well I actually had they said I’ve done been this work quite a number of hours myself and I said some of the best money I’ve ever made and you always get those repeat clients and they just kind of stuck in a loop of like a broken record of the fantasy and I just want to pump you full of the money like your pinball machine or something really interesting you bring up the point about that the man with small penises and you feel like you have developed weather maybe it’s inmates you or make you feel like you’ve been able to be in some sensor a priestess of spiritual healer something some way of therapists in the sense that you’re helping people move make some progress in their their fantasy lives there and their body image of king of size issues that you get that fine that the people can rely on you for some of that type of nutrient your healing energy when I was in school so this job has fulfilled a lot of fat but it’s funny that you say about Sin all the different pant suits I remember when I started I was so worried thinking how am I going to think of a difference little scenario to spend for these guys every single time they call Will it quickly became apparent that I’d say about 90% of collars when they call they basically want the same call over again and I thought so many times for it to be so much easier if you just recorded it and replayed it because it’s almost like to know the letter to be exact sense of what they want you to say they there’s very few that actually seek a lot of variety in their fantasies most of them want to go through the exact same fantasy every single time so it’s like you can do those calls with those types of collars practically on autopilot because you know exactly what they want once you’ve done it a few times you know you have the script basically in your head and it’s funny the way that some of them just want the same thing over and over and over and I’ve had some clients for the whole 11 years and there’s still the same way it’s like every time they call they want to talk about the exact same thing so it’s kind of amusing to me honestly that there that predictable write it that I’ve had the same experience and I suppose if it’s something that doesn’t seem really self abusive or harmful then I’ll go along with it and and humor them and everything but I can’t I send it that’s them in some direction of of transcendence of of something if it’s really troubling to them a really sort of negative in some sense that but she also can’t be judgmental right so so you can you without holding anybody specifically or any specific can use talk about some of the general patterns beyond the obligatory small penis calls and maybe even talking about that it’s like what are some of these patterns that you’ve observed over that many years of what what what what’s going on inside of the mind of you lose man you know we don’t know how much, babe what what percentage of the population they really really really represent you know if statistically but but it’s great to be great to hear from you sound like what some of the the patterns are people can relate the lives of others definitely patterns that emerge once you talk to some of these people and totally different guys that have nothing to do with one another and they basically have the same fantasies the small penis humiliation calls it that’s one of my most popular calls that I get I get more of those practically than any other type of call and the pattern does quickly present itself you know this poor guy Mother Nature has shortchanged him there’s nothing he can do no matter how much money he’s willing to spend no matter what kind of surgeries he’s willing to endear there’s not really much that he can do he’s got a small dick and he’s always going to have a small deck and it is so ingrained in their minds that women are going to reject them make fun of them mock them other men are going to belittle them that I swear if these men had their greatest prayer answered and they woke up the next day with an 8 inch penis they wouldn’t know what the hell to do with it because it is so part of their psyche that they are small and inadequate to please a woman they wouldn’t know what to do with it they really wouldn’t they would be very uncomfortable there’s been several of these guys that I’ve said well why don’t you just go to an escort and they’re not going to reject you as long as you’ve got money they’re not going to reject you and they get so uncomfortable when I said that that they will do everything but a dance to get away from you know me saying that so I tried not even bother saying it anymore because it’s just falling on deaf ears they don’t really want to go to any woman that is going to accept them because that is foreign that is uncomfortable and that is unfamiliar and they don’t want it and if they did go to some escort that would take them no matter how small their dick is they would be probably as limp as a dish Rag and not able to do anything because they’re on foreign territory they’re only used two women laughing at them in or telling their girlfriends and making fun of them it’s it’s so so part of their nature now, but that’s all they’ve known their whole lives they don’t want anybody to accept them and and I said especially with a guy that’s just slightly undersized if he says I’m 5 in the North American average erect so I’m like well as small but it’s workable it’s not worth rejecting somebody over and they they don’t want to hear this they do not want to hear acceptance on any level they’re like oh no know if it’s under a tin they’re to be reasoned with they just want to be mocked and made fun of but that pattern very quickly comes out especially with those ones that group more than any other there’s there’s definite patterns guys into spanking fetishes were usually caught by mom masturbating and spank him with the punishment and even though mom may have been dead for the last 30 years they’re still beating off thinking of getting you know spanked when they were a kid for getting caught that pattern quickly came out to that that one’s very predictable if a guy has a spanking fetish the chances are he was spanked as punishment well yeah this is I would have to I would have to be honest and say I’m not a trained psychotherapist your psychoanalyst or anything but are you acting sad devil is an armchair philosopher at least of all things psychological and I think a lot of people into it the the earliest erotic experiences 10 to do the most hard wiring for the rest of your life and it’s very very interesting to see what that serve cocktail of experiences and things going on internally the chemistry and and how that sort of gels into something that creates that that template that people get stuck with running so they have you had the experience of actually seeing anyone find any well even anyone that has a desire to say hey I’ve got this recurring fantasy that I can’t break free of but I want to and can you help me kind of work through some material and gets to the point of sending me some people might say freedom from it or just having some something to even compare it to cuz if that’s all they know then they don’t even know the outside of that that Fishbowl could be my friend there was one color that comes to mind when you say that if somebody to have a fetish that they really did want to break free from he had actually gone to a psychiatrist he was so upset by it and he wanted to stop it but he couldn’t and the topic that I absolutely hate and I hate when guys ever call I usually just tell him to call somebody else he was an adult baby and these guys put diapers on and they they wet their pants and and go to the bathroom in the midst of disgusting and this guy was so upset that he enjoyed doing this he said I come home after work I put on my diaper I sit on the floor and I know I rub my cock and then I go to the bathroom in my diaper oh my God it’s just disgusting so he he was he was crying on the phone he was sober Afton upset about this and he’s like I’ve actually gone to a psychiatrist because I just don’t know what to do to stop and he’s like well the psychiatrist told me I’m not hurting anybody yes it may be kind of icky but at the end of the day I’m not hurting anybody nobody knows about it it’s not affecting anybody’s life so I’m just probably going to have to live with this attraction to this fetish and carry it out it will and I thought well the psychiatrist is right he’s not hurting anybody but it is pretty gross but I guess there’s worse things that people could be doing but I really don’t enjoy collars that wants to talk about God cuz I I have a strong X Factor about that topic but there’s people doing all kinds of weird and believe me you really don’t want to know what your coworkers are friends or neighbors or anybody is doing behind closed doors they tell me what they do behind closed doors and I’m horrified it at a lot of the stuff they tell me and nobody in their life knows about it they keep it a secret and I just get it’s amazing how they unload all this stuff and I can understand they can’t tell their wives because she kicked them out they can’t tell their friends because they would never be looked at the same so they and they wouldn’t have the nerve to tell a psychiatrist you know looking face-to-face with them these things so they find girls like me to share these desires with that they can’t tell anybody else and in a way to great honor that they are literally telling me their deepest darkest thoughts especially when there a personal client where I take their credit card information and I know their real name I know their address I know I know all this personal information so it’s even more flattering that they’re entrusting me with this deeply personal information and giving me all this trust you know what some company where they call and they can say their name is John Smith and you have no idea who they really are that is as Anonymous As It Gets I have no way of knowing when they’re calling a company like that but when it’s a direct dial type of call like I have on my own line and a couple of other lines that I work at you do have their real information and I always think you know you’re lucky I’m an honest person if you ever got some lady that decided to go Rogue and blackmail you you could be in for a whole lot of embarrassment at some of the things that they tell you but that one with the adult baby fetish he definitely really wanted to stop that but he just for whatever reason wasn’t able to stop but he just was addicted to it and some guys are addicted that is the word I would use to some of their fetishes and they know that it’s not healthy they know that is not say some of the activities that they’re engaging in and it’s like a drug they just can’t stop themselves when I think some of these guys are telling me the Craigslist personals was closed down a few years ago it was like the end of the world for a lot of the faithful to call me believe me because it was such a huge part of their sex life they would be going on these personal than having random sex with strangers and some guys say oh yeah I met this guy on the Craigslist personals and I met him in the back of his van and Home Depot parking lot good way to meet a serial killer the risks that some of these people are taking to satisfy their sexual desires if it’s honestly quite horrifying sometimes yeah I’m with you on that I would say one of the one of the creepiest scenario that I have to encounter so far in my career doing phone sex on the side is that this thing I didn’t even know it existed but he had the kind of invite me to it he had to basically prep me and you kind of give me the script ahead of time a verbally so that I would know what scenario he wanted to be kind of dropped into and in and it was the whole bug chasing thing of you heard of that already dealt with it and I mustn’t there with you on this Theodore baby thing I just want to get to 314 because Freud was all about that sexuality is actually anyting in the body that could be described as pleasurable in that begins with weather in anal repulsive or whatever that is so people just get attached to maybe don’t grow up acceptors all theories to about your whole personality being shaped by how long you’re bursting experience was whether he was a C-section or whether there was fecal matter that you were exposed to the process of blood that can determine so many things is really shaping everything that is there’s a it’s quite a bit by bit material but I honestly think that the way you’re describing is it’s like the entire Orthodox world of academic psychology and sociology if if they’re not getting PhD in this field basically studying what you’re talkin about then they have no clue because like you’re saying most people do not talk about this stuff in any other don’t then with their trusted phone sex are they all squeaky clean but I really liked on the niteflirt I remember once on the nightfort website they had kind of like a an intro little animated video clip and it’s just the kind of promote obviously the platform and kind of explain how it works what not but there was like an intro beginning to it where it showed a bus stop like a cartoon bus stop I’m just a couple of random dudes and whoever and MMA put out thought Bubbles and it was a little cartoon characters of the fantasy that they’re all thinking of separately at the bus stop and it was like all the quintessential Kink BDSM archetypes in leather and you know bondage and whatever else but it’s just like the idea that is really what’s going on if you see if we’re honest you know you could be in any crowding and everybody sort of having these thoughts for them yeah do you think that I guess you I’m curious how you would describe the sort of spectrum of you seems to be people who some people would say they don’t have anything other than vanilla you know really team like missionary romantic style pharmacies in made in that could be totally true but then there’s a whole group of people who are may be in denial or they’re fighting to suppress more homosexual or more violent or just whatever types of Tennessee’s and they may never experience it or talk about it or even like play with it much in their Fantasy Life interest people who are open and out and experiencing it in the Kink community and then there’s people who seem to be kind of release Kirsten stuck in their own world where their stuff is just running their lives and they can’t they don’t have really a healthy weight it to express that I’m just wondering if you were to just have to take a guess at the general population would save America are like helps what what ratio do you think if there is a people in different you can kind of take it however you like this what would be your if you were the Surgeon General of America and you had to be issued a report talking about the state of American fetishism and she is it we’re looking at him or you say well I don’t know about exact percentages and obviously it would be different for ladies than it is for men I do occasionally get a lady, but I get so few I can’t generalize with them as much as I can with the men because of the sheer lack of volume of women for me that I talk to but for men I would say I would say well over 70% have some kind of a you know a real king I do get ones that are just vanilla and they only want the most basic you know sex oral just very very vanilla and that’s fine I’m happy they’re very easy there’s nothing growth and talking to those guys but there’s ones that are so far off the map and I do not even cater to the more extreme ones I if if somebody’s wanting to talk about something really bad and I just don’t do it and tell him to find somebody else but some there’s definitely a lot that have a kink there is there really is and they just they can’t share it with anybody so over 70% of got some weird little fantasy and that I guess weirdness is subjective isn’t it I hear so much weirdness that may be what I would consider practically normal somebody that the civilian not in the adult industry would think oh my God that’s so weird I like her own doesn’t seem weird so I think we’re nothing normalness is all very subjective you can’t really say well the percentage of weird this percentage is kinky but there’s so many it it really surprises me how many guys that call that want to be with another guy that’s one of the top fantasy Sig I have the guys have as well as they want to talk or you don’t have a guy fuck something I’m I was shocked at that when I first started in the business that it was that widespread I mean it’s a very high percentage of collars and it’s also very high percentage of callers that are wearing ladies underwear and I never expected that I had no idea there were so many men that were wearing ladies panties under their clothes it seems pretty high from the number of guys to tell me that so those two things really stand out that are way more common than people would think yeah it’s it’s so it’s so sad in its to me and said that it’s the culture of the dominant culture so repressive it’s not just allowed to to be in body in your feminine aspect you’re coming inside in a more outspoken Republic Manor in and stole that idea that you have to hide it under your clothes and you can’t just be like hey we got Casual Friday what’s up family and Tuesday and see all kinds of measurable issues in society but you know it’s also makes me think about how the whole notion of the private citizen right to privacy and then the public officers and officials in in politicians and whatnot it’s expected that that well within reason everything that they’re all of their interest all of their past all of anything that can be dug up about their life history is fair game to scrutinize and I don’t know maybe and certainly in in more queer friendly districts like West Hollywood or the Castro I’m sure that it’s actually a selling point to your dear constituents to be a letter or something but for most of the rest of the country you would not be elected or you will be impeached her or else it is or whatever asked to resign if it were to come out that any of that any of the things you described in in in or just anything that would be considered an aberration from that vanilla whatever you would see anything beyond that would get you in deep trouble socially and politically and yet all those people who have that power they’re the ones going to the Doms and even some of the most twisted like yeah if people had any idea who exactly people would be surprised who was calling there was a chief of police that used to call me and I thought if your chief of police would you not buy a Visa gift card and just tell me your name is John Smith rather than give me your real name and your real credit card. That was the first thought in my head and he actually send me a picture of himself for his uniform and I thought are you insane do you realize the amount of embarrassment if I went rogue that I could cause you your whole Precinct to be laughing your ass off that one is one of the top ones that sticks in my mind thinking why would you be broadcasting and all I never would have known that you were you sending me pictures of yourself and you before that one really I thought was amazing it was another guy that was a district attorney in a major city and he was telling me this and I thought wow I could really cause you embarrassment if I wasn’t a trustworthy honest person and yet they’re telling you they’re real David at all this information I got all my God this is just wild it really was and there was even this very low-level celebrity oh my God I never heard of this guy but I looked up his name and I quickly found its website and mainly does direct-to-video stuff that most people wouldn’t know who it is anyway and what he wanted to talk about was so horrific that I wouldn’t do it and I don’t have a lot of limits are a lot of taboos but I have some and he was Way Beyond my limits and I thought wow buddy if your fans ever had any idea what you were into you know that they’d be with torches on your lawn I was so horrified at what this guy wanted to talk about and I thought in this is a celebrity and even though I had never heard of him somebody that had co-starred in a movie with him I certainly did know who it was cuz I watch her on a spa for all the time and I thought wow I’m sure she has no idea what her co-star is into and it just these these people to have any kind of level of being well-known and either their field of work or their Community you would think that protecting their anonymity would be of utmost importance but they really don’t seem to care so it says It’s amazing so I don’t follow Sports in anyway and he told me that he was he was wanting racial humiliation he was a black guy and I get a fair number of racial humiliation calls as well that’s one way specials it’s and he had found my website and saw that I offered this in and so he was telling me all about this so you know it was a small table wasn’t anything spectacular but I just thought wow you know if somebody follows Sports they would probably heard of this guy and here he’s calling and paying me good money to call him one racial slur after another it just says listen to me I can actually it really is so they aren’t worried about their identities or anything well yeah they make this public service announcement this is now the 21st century and there’s something called cryptocurrency and there’s ways to use VMware Anonymous step handrails and also to encrypt messages and I’m at the point now where I’m kind of going off of the Rails a bit branching out from the the platforms that take a huge cut of your earnings to provide that sort of thing at least that degree of separation with your identity and you’re just letting me within the last I’d say year 2 years has the encryption encrypted messaging app ecosystem really matured and made them user-friendly now is user-friendly enough and intuitive enough for people used on a mass scale and the Snowden Revelations have helped to accelerate the mass adoption and the development development impetus for peer-to-peer in Crypt open source technology platforms that are accessible by apps on a smartphone and then also now there’s so many different ways to do cryptocurrencies and now a stablecoin cryptocurrencies where you don’t expose people to the volatility of price fluctuation that’s a mouthful but I’m wondering if you have are you it’s apps to Tabitha like you say there’s a lot of risk and even if you did your best to not reach or allowed to be reached any of that data that you have some level of responsibility over as you conduct your business to know it’s an interesting opportunity now to to Really Leverage The Power of encrypted promises encrypting free speech of of words and of money that smell possible for people still just curious if you looked into any of that I know it’s kind of where I’m blinded I don’t even own the self to keep private insecure Issa does not use anything with high-tech and then you’ll be fine by myself I have my laptop and my corded landline so sore throat is this a cell phone because I don’t leave home that often so if I’m at the dentist or the hardware store for an hour or two I think I can afford to be out of touch with anybody for that short of a Time if it’s that important it can wait till I get back home and I’ll be able to talk to him then but I would never be doing calls out and about and I know some girls do I’ve read posts of girls doing in the aisles at Walmart and the grocery store it and I think how could you do that but hey if that’s how they want to run things that’s their business but I would not do that I wish I would not want to be doing that I was outside of my home and possibly have somebody over here me and you never know how long a collar is going to beat you. Weather is going to be 3 minutes or 3 hours you have no idea so it’s just not practical to me I would not do that so if somebody calls me I am on a corded landline in my house that’s the only place I’m ever going to be when they call but yeah all that Tech stuff is so it’s sort of a Escapes Me well if you ever have clients that want to you know I want to have you if you feel like a doll just put it out there to you I can be your your text liaison in a department is trying to be at least at least on the curb if not ahead of the curve but but certainly not is as up to speed as I can because yeah there’s a kind of feel like there’s a lot of a lot of people who are younger who mistakes with thumb how there really not having a good sense of host of keeping their identity and they’re just people are very frivolous about how much personal information they share in on internet was called it back POF plenty of wisdom and actually on that note not to go too far into the dark side but have you had any I’m sure you had some but you know what what what advice would you give note having the level experience you have about about real creepers or did you know that my make you feel let me before you have a chance with this type of mop cut them up or hang up on them if they were to get threatening or to just get weirder abusive or anything like you have any I don’t want to get all Sensational with horror stories but maybe more practical in a sense of Life what do you have a saltwater bath ready to jump into if you feel creeped out or do you have some sort of self-care and what’s the deal with the shift whether it’s creepy or not what’s a very lucky that I don’t really attract clients like that different girls attract different types of collars very much so it’s like Baskin-Robbins there’s a different flavor for everybody and I have never even come close to having any color that was stalkerish or interested in you don’t meeting or anyting I’m a very honest open direct person probably much more so would be good for I am so direct with clients if they ask me something and I’ll tell them the truth usually and other girls are more like they are there Persona they are never going to break that fourth wall to them and is a role they will never admit you know this isn’t them or whatever it says I’m just not like that and a lot of guys like that sense of reality others as sort of a bubble and they will never call you again because you’re too much reality they’re not looking for that they’re looking for Fantasy so I have never ever ever had anything remotely like that and yet I know some girls have had real problems with that very serious ones I mean the horse everyone’s and I think well maybe it’s because they’re playing this role and they’re insisting that they really are this character and it’s just all too real to the guy and I’m like oh you know that’s that’s not how it is consider more of a flooded reality so I don’t have that problem with my clients at all I’m glad to hear that that’s that’s music to my ears what would you say knowing the girls who have had that experience of living able to shake them off or what are some Clyde I honestly don’t know because they’re just running their business totally different than I am so unless they decided to move to my business model they’re going to keep having this problem I mean some of these girls will say oh I’ve got this whole back story that my character lives in such and such a place and she’s such and such an age and you know she went to this school and and she did this and that and I’m like really you go to all this trouble I might I’m just me if a guy calls I’m just me I’m not putting on any stories I say I live in Ontario Canada which is true I don’t tell them the town that I live in cuz they don’t really need to know that but I’m not making up some story about what I did or what I didn’t that that’s just not me it’s just not and yet there’s a lot of girls that they write this whole back story this like a totally separate character and if that’s how they want to do it that’s fine and I know a lot of them do that’s what they feel comfortable with they don’t want to give any real information that’s fine and I don’t give much to the ones that I do but I’m just me no matter what guy calls them if a guy says I won’t Lobby been in a gangbang recently haven’t you wanted to be not going to get what he wants because I’m too based in reality like I said some guys like that some guys don’t you want to talk about any anything you want to close with would be great or just call it a good a good first episode look forward to connecting my phone sex site is erotic Talk phone sex. Com and my erotic audio site if you want to order a custom audio is erotic audio recordings. Com some people can easily be able to contact me there if they’re interested in setting up a call well if the button says available love usually available if it says that I usually remember to set that right you can just call the number if you wanted to do a call and if you wanted to order an audio guys will email me usually with their script to get an estimate which I can do from the word count I can give them a very close estimate as to how long it will be in the price and then we go from there all right I love that will custom audio clips Galore sounds like you you’re really got this workout and it sounds like you graduated from the dependence and Reliance on 3rd party platforms and you’ve got it all sorted in house is that right on your website or how does that are you part of a network or is it all kind of have my own sci-fi I am available on many many sites that I do calls on but I only I only promote my own site because it is of or benefit to me easily if a guy comes to my own site so even though the price a guy May pay would be the same say $2 a minute which is pretty standard if he calls me through some site I might only be getting a third of that if he calls my sight I’m getting ate almost every penny of that so where do you think I’m going to direct people of course I’m I don’t even tell them what Play Time on or what names I go by or anything I only ever tell them Sheeran on a rush and that is the only place that you will find Sharon Sharon all right all right are you ready to go find her on the on that website and appreciate you again it’s been a time to be on the shoulder and a lot and look forward to next time I see you again so much and thank you so much for having me www.sprint.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition assassini and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple viper bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email ben.com namaste

Hacking Group Romance as a Porn Director not a Cult Leader TPP200

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In this episode I’m joined by a mystery guest for a wild comedic adventure into the repressed caverns of my erotic mind. She holds enthusiastic and giggly sacred space for me to get on a roll lamenting about the current state of monogapathic culture. She helps me get through a lot of catharsis in exploring my life history of drama and madness surrounding opening up to more inclusive group sexual and romantic encounters. With her gracious support, I’m able to take liberties in the manner in which I share some of my most passionate and taboo-breaking fantasies. With care and consideration for ethics and holism, I attempt to induce a few laughs as I graphically depict my experimental designs for hacking group romance.

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin pillow their beloveds welcome to Township Punk podcast episode number 200 I just got back from an East Coast tour with the punk rock metal band and I’m thrilled to say we had a great time and did very well and I made it back in one piece and this is an exciting episode 200 Extravaganza where are some of my backlog recording this and this was one of the one of my favorite ones that I had to choose from for the episode 200 and I think you will really Joy it is definitely something different it is it is a my first summer unintentional extended comedy monologue with a a wingwoman of sorts and she’s holding space for me to bring forth into a level of of hilarity that I don’t normally I don’t know don’t normally summon and don’t really feel as is often appropriate but once you get on a roll when you start to really stimulate somebody’s Funny Bone verbally then it’s it’s hard not to to just run with his so it may be offencive it may be a little over-the-top and in that what we’ve come to appreciate about that classic stand up comedian form is that you’re able to get away with exposing truths in a very heated very sometimes aggravated state of mind and people cathartically get off on someone else saying what speaking out there are deeper taboo thoughts so if this is the first episode you’ve heard of mine it is definitely uncharacteristic of most of the rest way I tend to joke here and there but really really typically try to be pretty reserved and really focus on a I’m more of a dialogue with a guess this in this case it’s it’s almost completely One Direction all but her being there is absolutely essential in order to get that Dynamic flowing and it certainly in the sense of Comedy it really helps I don’t know how people can just write write comedy in their own inner sanctuary and not have that that reverberation in that that feedback and and dynamic but anyway this is a lot of fun and what we’re talking about what I’m talking about. Manly and she’s helping hold the space for me to really mansplain in an unethical way really is talking about the the bloopers and Antics and Folly and what I’ve learned from attempts to hack this notion of group romance and really learn from a lot of mistakes and really create sort of personal interpersonal living breathing think-tank research experiment out of how to best overcome the limitations that we have in most modern patriarchal monotheistic minago Pathak cultures where our options are very limited and our experience and Expo are two other modes of loving and healing and relating romantically they’re completely systematically cauterized by these Disneyland archetypes of monogamy and whatnot so I get into the higher level kind of macro cultural analysis and critiques and then we get into a lot of really fun really absurd ridiculous and playful visual kind of comedic audioporn take to get through some of the designer ideas of how to how to be hacking group romance and I’m really this is it from my perspective a a male centered male-oriented you could call it phallocentric you could say I’m being a chauvinist here but really I think it’s about making sexual gratification in the feeling of love and connection amongst people be as egalitarian as possible and really work with what you have within your your orientation your identity your group of friends and just explore those boundaries and really gamify group romance and hopefully this really stands is a introductory Treatise on why it’s important to explore these things and what the the payoffs are so hope you enjoy it this is definitely for me one of my top favorite episodes of all time because of where we where we get to in the end of Vibes of it you know I hope that it leaves you rolling on the floor and also curious and also emboldened to take more adventurous steps in the future of your love life all right thank you very much if you’ve been with me along waist episode 200 thank you for for being with me and enjoy this historic episode thank U Namaste and they would not be comfortable with you hacking the storylines of of compulsory monogamy and telling stories very festive stories about what it’s like to like not be in patriarchy and like it she does she know yeah that’s what good for sale teacher reflect a picture or no one’s happy everybody’s miserable and just whining about it new relationships breaking out and being her and then just repeating the cyclist over and over is very defeatist like cry about level of times but at least you’re feeling something at least you’re not a total sociopath narcissist like don’t even care spending to steal it self-inflicted stuff too cuz you just like wanting holding on to like the painful stuff I guess we’re like people that aren’t making like the best for you but it’s sad and it’s like Basin and being married and being screwed if you lose that Financial Lifeline life support so there we have listed this is the in permaculture design Geoff Lawton and it likes to use this teaching to a witches that when it comes to like agriculture what you’re talking about gardening earlier today but it’s like this so if you only plant one crop in a field that’s a lot like fishing with a single line where they know that if that crop fails or that line breaks your your your Sol and so the smart Fisher person would say I let me fish with a net so that if one or even several of those lines break with internet I still have a functioning device here so that’s what you could systems do and that’s why polyculture in gardening and Horticulture polyculture means multiple different phrase things as opposed to monoculture so you can make this analogy very happy to monogamy and monoculture and still what’s resilient in an ecosystem diversity right the more diverse ecosystem the more resilient it is the more flexible adapter is in more abundant and flourishing it is so monoculture monogamy monotony it’s and then that’s why people are living in this wounded heart broken real disaster of a reality and it’s just profit people that make the Laurie handlers cuz it seems like I’m she said in her podcast if this was a easy the country cafe or sex and happiness she said to podcast over the years she makes an excellent point that she’s over his doesn’t not interested in the heartache that sells and wants to crack break your heart open to love everyone pretty much and to have new experiences and to be open to new experiences and so have a very regenerative heart and I would like the concept of being a heart Gardner so like I’m trying to I have not just one heart that I love her that I tend I have a garden that I attend of many hearts and some of them need more attention at times some of them you know every more self-sufficient some of them could tell me to get lasted for cough and don’t even want want me like even looking at them and everything in between so then you know being a heart Gardner and trying to keep them all alive and and not neglect them and be responsible for like letting them Blossom letting them rot on the vine either you know anyway so there’s so much to learn and so much to sing about so sincere singer I’m a singer we’re going to think about this stuff. We also actually I need to have experience to know where the fuck were talking about so that’s where we begin with what where does the authentic Journey actually begin and that’s where we and I just watched Breakfast Club where they were it’s like this painstaking process of socially engineering the truth out of what how and what circumstances virginity was happening or not happening so we all have virginity is two different things even if we popped her cherry City this week so so we’re at the precipice of The Virginity of your experimental lesbianism is it a few dedicated to your not identified as a woman now what do you mean what I mean is that my I’m very interested in the notion of you having sex with a woman if you if you want to sit at one point I was very blunt and I asked you and I risked I risked being considered a British attend to try to do that so it’s basically asking if I’m if you’ve ever had if you would have ever had sex with a woman and if not would you like to and you said you would like to but you like to what you say roll around with me first right I think that’s yeah so that could be arranged so basically you know that’s compromised that’s that’s how you have probably that’s the beginning of it is like what do you need what a minor needs how can we meet in the middle somewhere and so well this is what is so interesting to me and what I am going to share is like my design concept that I put a lot of effort into trying to figure out which is this is that okay if we really break the stuff down what we don’t have what we have a lot of experience of as children is being gently yet with with I would say lowercase authoritarianism weird we are compelled by adults to share toys and we learn against whatever maybe that jealous or envious nature or selfish nature we learn to to actually eventually Delight in the gift of sharing something with others so that we actually realize that there’s this abundance of my face you know it’s not like hopefully it’s not like you don’t eat the toy in the toy is something that doesn’t get destroyed after one use of the toy I’m so that you can hand it on and and let other people experience so what somewhere along the path of puberty we get program to lose that fundamental sociability and Collective position of like the toys that we would be sharing on the playground and once we develop and grow and have her own public Parts in appropriate age appropriate settings to explore Inn Express in which we all know is lacking in this culture and that’s why we have abusive all kinds cuz we don’t have rice passage and we don’t know when we are to do wet when howl with himself in a healthy way or holistic way I should say so we’re we are fumbling in the dark trying to figure this stuff out and somewhere we get cursed with these imprints of monogamy that is compulsory compulsive Naga me bound up in Notions of being a prince and a princess and all of these socioeconomic status oriented ways of like something being mine a person me owning that person this status symbol so there’s I’m not saying anything for you know this groundbreaking to indict these memes and this culture architecture and you know they have spoken to like many people feminists just look at feminist anthropology in the critique of domestication in the in the critique of civilization and patrilineal descent and the the the the way that wealth and land and power is handed down from a meal bloodline Emil name Inlet that’s why you control you would need to control the female sexuality and reproductive freedom in order to guarantee that your son gets your land in and not someone else’s so that’s that’s the patriarchy connection and we want to what super tall that perverted and silver and actually compost the patriarchy is she so I don’t think there’s a there’s no there’s nothing more subversive then then then opening up relationships because once you start buying less because old do do we need to each have our own garage filled with tools from big box stores or can we all share one fucking tool set amongst us all lovers sharing each other’s bodies it’s not rocket science and it’s not rocket science way they have made it so difficult to be relating sexually openly with computers with a peer group and neighborhood of adults because they want us all to be in our little boxes buying one of every that have everything and not sharing anything and therefore it cuts into their bottom line so we are doing our best to compost the patriarchy to be subversive and actually have a lot of fun doing it it’s not a dip revation and sacrifice to have more fun sexually with more people it is a little bit more requisite of time for emotional care and tenderness for sure it’s complicated and it is and is medically important to be but if it’s as if you can play any video game that you play any board game you can gamify Sexual Health in a group you can end in the end not to do bring it to the light and be like okay well we match here like literally HSV expressing in one part of the body can match to that and another person other parts of body and you can pretty much pretty much know you’re safe at that point there’s there’s ways to gamify these things so that you know curses can be blessings in yet make it very used that’s who we need to design the user-friendly interface for people to connect and 4 shame and not even just the end of course the STI status stuff but also people who just have body issues about so we can be mixing and matching his stuff and yeah. There’s an app for it kind of a thing you know in this world so so we’re getting there and you know you pull the card and you know people who so it will and that’s why that’s the reason to do yoga so that you can hold these sexual positions forever because he like baby words said when a man basically two pair of fruit to fear fear for his baby Ward and I’m mixing a couple of I’m adding a couple together of her if you’re beautiful phrases but basically if I were Davey word I would probably say something like if I if I was balls do you know when your balls deep in me I want it to last forever I want your penis in my vagina forever and I can’t Rainman how to make that possible and actually there was a good scene in Jerry Maguire where she asked for him to she’s don’t ever stop fucking me in a kind of like kills the mood when he says I think I’ll have to stop at some point and then they fucking break up with a douche no sorry to tell you I love you tons hear me okay forget about it Interview with the Vampire okay stop me somebody for the cold water on me right now all right yeah it was Saved by the Bell you is just batteries going to last all night long you’re you’re you’re getting okay so it’s yours work as graphic this is where he’s going to get more perverted this is building it up so building and Outdoors like what is it why does this matter that’s why why am I trying to have so much fun packing monogamy and the shame and the pain and the jealousy and the limitation it’s just it’s false it’s completely insane and in deranged and and I will not tolerate it for one more second my life and in that spirit I say I’ve done the boyfriend-girlfriend thing I’ve done in monogamy thing I’ve done a jealousy thing and then a hard brake thing so if somebody enters my life and is attracted to me I go out how this is interesting erotic energy flowing in my direction how can I not manipulated not abused if not not not heard it or harm it but actually let it flow through my little garden design of more pleasure and then also this is the thing where I feel like I’ve made an important hack an important this is because this is been going back to how we learn to share so this is as an adult with adult content adult appropriate settings of course but really bring it down and that’s why I am a huge fan of psychedelic sexuality because it inhibits the neurotic aspects of the ego and if you’re going to trust in space and you have referees and you have good guidance and going on in people are observing and being Sheriff’s that to the boundaries when the people are you know any in there Altered States but would you with the beauty of it is that you get to explore again and you get to explore bodies and he could do store your own body and it’s not a story about who’s owns this and who’s rights to this and fuck where’s all the paperwork and did I swear to it tonight so that’s and it doesn’t have to be an orgy of people fucking very sloppily very carelessly when you get into the tantric practices of massage wherever it’s about it’s really the best things really happen with the most intentional experts killed manual and leading up to of course different forms of penetration with genitals but it’s underrated how much how much pleasure and how deep deep healing we can be with their hands with each other in and really there’s no excuse not to be doing that cuz you’re not going to make babies and they just called outercourse or mutual masturbation went on so that’s where rather than rushing from first base to second base and all of that hyper rush to the Finish Line stuff fit culture this culture is trained to do you actually can start out saying okay it could literally be a fun and fulfilling and safe Friday night for a group of friends 2 take each other to take their clothes off and use their hands to induce different types of orgasms in each other consensually and into explorer that and so that’s where I say the games of politics becomes like whose are you fucking that is long as you if you if you keep that off the table a little just long enough and this is what so at what I have there is like a Zone that is safer emotionally and medically to play in in groups to actually start to rewire and meltdown those belief systems so that you have a clean slate in in your capable of exploring slowly and building on the new Pannu template that you design and we’re very plastic a blank brain can be reformatted we can 3 format is hard drive as many times we want there’s no limit to it and we were it’s absurd to think they were stuck in a 2000 year old paradigm I’d rather be in a 200,000 Euro Paradigm cuz that’s where the real phone was happening anyway but we’re going to get to the Primal Anarchy of lovemaking groups in just a minute now so break here’s how we break from breakthroughs goes invisible prison cells in our minds about monogamy and so I figured it out like how I would like to conduct a ceremony words like okay this is my penis here and there’s people that want to play with it and put it in different parts of their bodies and hopefully have a good time with it and if it really like Gibson gets them there and brings them there and then delivers the goods then they will become deeply deeply addicted to that experience and Anna on a level that is that is beyond any extreme passion of any terrorist has any ideology the amount of passion that and I would say a woman from in my experience the level of chemical spiritual just that’s what we should be living for men who love who love women is like for them to be taken so far out and so far in that they will want to kill other people who take threatened to take that experience away from them I every other women that you’ve ever known that you might never know so that’s where we have this conundrum which is like it is so good like I want you to be obsessed with me but I do not want you to be obsessed with me you know cuz that’s right cuz I’m going to kill myself if you’re not obsessed with me but I’m going to run away from you and run into the street if you’re obsessive me so either way I die do you know yeah and I had to run in the street to avoid women who are obsessed with me and it’s no joke cuz otherwise I would have thought they didn’t love me if they weren’t a homicidal maniac it’s right so there’s a way to disperse that energy and it’s like oh wait a minute he’s fucking me but I’m making out with a woman and looking into her eyes and who do I lose what it oh my God is I don’t know who is fucking me right now but it feels great and I agreed to it like I signed off that anyone can fuck me tonight with this and that and this so like I don’t know who to write the check to you know what I mean like anymore it’s just too much just don’t stop so I’ve been there and I’m never going back to the the the hell rounds it is about diffusing that pleasurable experience across so many different Souls that it’s impossible to Tribute it to one person and really I believe that this is not an astoundingly long wide penis that I have that I think is perfectly shaped to do what it was designed to do and I’m happy with it whatever yeah I’ve gotten good reviews so far in life women who wanted to kill other women because they were so possessive of this thing that it’s just like always wants to do is just be warm and wet and love them that is so I have a beloved partner and you know I would kiss your boobs goodbye and tell him to be good every day knowing if she was like why I never did anything bad to anybody ever and I realized that was the pure essence of innocence is Brett’s cuz like you can never say that they ever do anything bad to never manipulated anybody they never play games with anybody they just give and give and give you know so anyway that’s another story if we could only all aspire to be as innocent as a breast but never do anything to hurt anybody ever never had to be told to be nice just what is nice you know x-ray sexual Zen state that people would have to meditate for years if they didn’t eat mushrooms to figure that out like become a breast and live in the consciousness of breast in this and just experienced pleasure and give pleasure and don’t fucking overthink it you know it as long as everybody is of legal age and sound mind and knows what they’re signing up for essentially we can work out the details but I’ve been in those moments where it’s like yes what’s making this woman lose her mind and ecstasy is 80% the emotional connection with other women that she is sharing and then I am there to be basically a prop to the beautiful. Theater of feminine understanding and that is when I understood For the First Time The futility of women trying to squeeze blood from a stone to make bullheaded dumb men who would rather be playing video games or breaking shit or glowing sit up or doing something fucking mindless and heartless for fun and just acting them and making them be a woman when they’re not a woman because they can’t explore sexual intimacy with other women because they’re afraid of the taboo of lesbianism and because it would be against the rules and whatnot so when melted down and was in a sensor Moniz were psychedelic ceremonies wear them all of these stories were melted away and it was just women in fucking ecstasy the agony and ecstasy and using my cock is a prop but also as an energetic current in a source of love and that my refinement was allow me to be in that space and I realize that it’s like it is so cumbersome to be responsible for a woman’s orgasm in a love making session why would I want all of that burden on myself it’s like I have to at my age I have to think about not coming too fast beat not losing my erection and in trying to make a sincere emotional sincere present connection with the person who I am kissing is with that is enough for me to have to do it now I’m responsible for her squirting and I like coming in the same say when I saw the leveraging of all these other women and how freely flowing the orgasms come when the openness in the connectedness is there with other women so so like I said I’m not taking a step back and now if anybody wants to come at me they’re going to have to go through that that ate a form of of grade school of learning in or black ass like that you’re going to come at me do you want to fuck me you need a black belt in loving me to get in and if you go into any Karate Dojo they’re not even said hey I want to do what you do can you hand me your black belt right now please here I’ll give you a beer can I buy you a beer and then you give me a black belt no stupid you’re so stupid Bibb so what was the quote from the movie UHF which is very a so you definitely watch UHF to understand where my sense of humor comes from but yes I’ll good good so so we’re solving this problem and creating these designer experiences and so what I realized is that the impulse for a woman to have this one-dimensional relationship with a man’s cock so that she wants to possess it so as you’re a very own the way for me to logically very very simple-minded lycee what is the how do you prevent that is to say well you will learn to get to know my cock at exactly the same time as another person and you will only have a 50/50 relationship with whatever you do you say like you would with your best friend and I had her saying in people may not like to hear me say is cuz it sounds good feed it to your best friend first feed it to your best friend first and I didn’t even think about the secondary effect of that which for me that was just that was just like I’m going to know that you’re not going to lose your mind with jealousy when you can just say here actually you can I’ll let you go first so that would be the the the tantric taboo test of transgression against yourself like that Siri you’re going to lose your mind will feel into that and start simple we’re going to dance together and you’re going to watch just that and is that make your blood boil what happens after your blood simmers down do you start to like so now it’s like whatever that point is where that demon comes out of jealousy you were going to rub the shit out of your clit until it goes and tell you what you’ve you become a demon Whisperer with your clit and me and everybody just wants to create more and add more locks to the fire and you transmute that negative emotion into a positive motion and then in the probably will be called conversion the opposite we don’t have a word for it we do not have a word except for that one which no one knows it set designer neologism but we don’t have the band singing about how good it feels to watch their wife get fucked by Adam Ant And so yeah here we come back full circle so we will be so we’re going to we’re going to have these experiences we’re going to sing about it and and so this is the this is the what the the the climax of this conversation will be in my opinion is is when I talked about how the it’s not just a theoretical Gaiden guiding principle to say oh yeah we’ll will like yeah okay you flip a coin and I have sex first with the person who wins that round and then I stopped having sex with you and hopefully it didn’t lose my wind in 5 minutes cuz I was so fucking turn on by the sexy after they all I got another $5 and it’s over for me for like they’re already like forgot every system anyway cuz they’re tearing each other inside out and everything and I’m just watching and trying to like make it come to live again and finally it will eventually but you should know I’m getting That’s The Hampsterdance the Tantra hence the sexual Jedi Knight training so that you can breathe breathe through and in have the orgasms without losing the love don’t be a 5 lb jump so hit the two feminists so I think I’m going to say okay if she’s dying to give me a blowjob then like we time it for like okay like we’re going to play your favorite song and it’s going to be about the same equal thanks to to her favorite song and you going to eat each other’s favorite songs and I’m like hold each other’s heads and massage each other and just be like holding each other from behind and Miss Priss massaging each other that they take turns but there’s still a potential in that for for jealousy to arise in forever and for it to be I mean I just thought of a way to actually literally short-circuit everything in a really beautiful elegant circuit and so here is the design and I will try to verbally explain unless they can so I love the idea of two women’s hands clasping together around my cock and massaging it gently up and down as they face each other and our eye gazing intermittently so the visual so far is is that the dear beloved goddesses or I are facing each other so actually agency kneeling I’m I am laying on my back and they both are kneeling with their literally as clothes into my armpit is possible so that I can reach Below in between their legs and butt so I can have a hand on each clit and vulva fingers is a good middle finger on the clit and to end so if I’m cuffing the vulva and able to use my longest middle finger to be stroking the each clit simultaneously in patterns you know singer sew and I’m basically playing streams is like playing guitar and make a solo I’m playing shift I have this is because the end of vocalizations or what I’m tuning for it you know so so it isn’t this beautiful instrument of a playing these two young hearts that are kissing each other and like I gazy and exactly is so I’m making sure that they’re not feeling left out in that apartment while I’m being stimulated and everybody is being stimulated sexually and everyone is feeling a part of a closed circuit that is meeting everyone’s needs and in and there’s no favoritism there’s no hierarchy the really so thin and if anything I am as the man in my back and that is what time trick Kali worshipping actual full fully pornographic and I hesitate to use that word was fully glorious erotic depictions of the circuitry of how this stuff works so if it’s if you’re not approve any 3 I mean if you’re not so sexually stunted then you would just understand that these icons are just road maps to the spiritual terrain of understanding the energetics of Shiva Shakti god goddess energy so we’re designing with that and we’re creating a maximum hydraulic energy flows in in in a way that is very egalitarian actually inhibits the growth of the ego and that sense of so-and-so I’ve experienced this in not that exact formation but that’s why I aspire to be a porn director so that I can I can work with people who are very comfortable taking Direction and are not going to lose their minds and so I actually had this conversation today they’re what makes me not a cult leader and what prevents me from ever becoming a cult leader is this one fundamental thing right but I have to study cold it is to know how not to be a quote later cuz otherwise I would just be cranking out so much Kool-Aid day Kool-Aid would have to invent a time to punch flavor you know I got to be sponsored by Kool-Aid the Kool-Aid man oh yeah it would have it I make my own Kool-Aid Man Township anyway after dark okay I wanted how they’ve not sued like I have all of the libelous memes and they feel bad for the Kool-Aid guy I didn’t fucking poisonous people man I don’t mean to be making fun of them and I really got to get serious about not making a joke out of the people who died in the massacre Crazy Eights it’s it’s it’s public domain now to make a joke to either the expression people say don’t drink the Kool-Aid it’s because people at Jonestown were by a charismatic cult leader who was it was an extremely right with it skips a generation maybe but that’s how memes get formed yes so I mean that’s how they sort of deprecated the roots and you say things that we don’t know how does the reason we’re numb it so they don’t drink the Kool-Aid means don’t consent to a groupthink. Virus that makes mass suicide be acceptable and so they poisoned the Kool-Aid punch and that’s how everyone can scented make give it to their kids and everyone is like this is fine and some people try to protest and they were silenced and some people try to run away and it was a nightmare and it was absolutely what I would I must not allow myself to become as a priest that uses sexual mind manipulation and coercive tactics to trade love and affection attention and orgasm for 4 unquestioning devotion into the point of suicide so that that’s the extreme case that that we that is a litmus test for if you were going down that slippery slope but I actually tend to want to study the mental illness of sociopath sociopathy narcissism and I would like to consider myself a benign I’m the benign narcissist I know that that is a character flaw that I am not how we going to like defeat by doing the past limitations as many times that night and I’m going to roll with it and I’m going to say yeah I will be like Howard Stern and I will be I’m going to if I’m going to be this personality I’m going to make a bonsai tree out of my own ego if I can and have other people help in the process but but things going going back to the to the cult thing and what me what gives me the authority to design this orgasmic Orchestra what why and how do you not just become a colder than soy everyone you meet is basically in that on that game board now how am I going to manipulate you to be in this in this position that I would like you to be in to fulfill my fantasy of engineering all this town truck stuff and and if I’m if I’m this is well that’s spit out the Kool-Aid don’t swallow I think what we’ll get to that for sure that’s going to be a we’re going to get to that but can’t forget that we’ll save that for the for the most triumphant moment the climax is when we’re going to use that it’s so precious now after it’s been built up so ever since a joke that’s going about 2 it’s going to explain come on your face it’s going to come on yesterday and you’re going to beg for it and so hits is it is I’ve had people beg me to come in the third eye and it was hard to resist but this is going to be almost as good as that sharing you this one liner inside joke and just a minute but to wrap up this sort of dark out thing that we were doing with the coal thing is that it how do you know how do I hedge against being the creepiest man every like people think that Barney the purple dinosaur because he and forgive me if I’m butchering the facts here but as far as I know he’s doing what I considered to be taboos for me which is charging women money to have sexual penetrative intercourse with them above all without protection and making that into a to me that’s not a scalable business model and you can ask your doctor wife but Barney I mean I get it and I get that that’s the love thing being cultivated generated so I think I don’t know whether I consider that good pressure bad press for modern Neo Tantra or what not but I’d love to have them on the podcast I’m sure it’s going to happen and I can’t say that I was a fan of the art form of Barney the purple dinosaur but but but I would love to get to the full story and also talked about the ethics and this medical the medical duty of care that comes with sexual and pinch of intercourse with anybody so anyway that’s the sad but who were talking about okay what if you were intrigued and maybe turned on by me talking about these erotic circuit boards then you also have to be somewhat red-flagged and starting to cringe and go where how old is this get arranged in what are the incentives and how do you how do you manage the Eagles and how do you who’s in charge it’s like you can’t it’s a scary thing but you wouldn’t work but that’s why when I went when I say what I realized for me the aha moment in my sexual career was that if I want to have out-of-the-box sex I have to pay lots of money for it from professionals who have trained her nervous system to do theater performance of sexuality as escorts or as Dom’s or as porn performers because they’re good sports they’re not spoil Sports about any of the stuff for the most part if they’re treated well and respected and then contracts are here too and they know what they’re getting into and hopefully they’ve matured and hopefully their brain has developed to its full capacity IE the age that it takes to actually I don’t say that to you exactly so you better know there’s a dimension of Ethics when it comes to harvesting teenagers for your for whatever Annette and I have had some of the best sex in my life as a 30 year old being fucked up fucked senseless by teenager in a row in a monogamous relationship and I will I will tell you that it’s it some it was worth the daddy issues that I had to deal with it was worth reparenting her and it was worth every bit of emotional kind of awkwardness that there wasn’t some of the an Amex because she was such a good full spirited Prime late night it was funny cuz I was like I want to settle you down and basically like I could teach your making a kid with ADHD sit in class is like no she wants to fuck wildly she wants you to perform more than you possibly ever could even at 30 and and she and she is not she doesn’t need these esoteric practices too heavy multi-orgasmic she’s fucking coming or brains out like so hard and I and I couldn’t sit her down the aisle still enough to do any of the practices that I thought were going to be so enlightening and went in the great thing is is it a fuck it like it is certain point you just say no guru there’s a song about it’s like no guru no no scripture No play just in the Dow of the thing so anyway so that’s a side note to say there is a sacred place for adult for fully mature brain develop adults to be having sex with teenagers and and I know that it can be done because I’ve done it but it also takes you can’t just treat them like a commodity please you got to you got to think about pedagogy Nikki learned from the person that you’re teaching teaches you things to like a circle so then so we’re talking about these ethics and where I wanted to just close that point about how I do my best to not be a cult leader I thought I figured it out pretty simply and correct me if I’m wrong but basically it’s it’s I dare you to to indict me for the the criminal and civil liability of misconduct for for for structuring a certain way so this is how I this is this is very simple as this is like this I said that this is a different the difference from a cult leader is that I’m a porn director I pay women to be directed and then I pay whoever I want to I will I will I will choose performers who I resonate with for whatever we would like to do together to make beautiful art and and I will compensate them and pay them to take time out of their lives to be a part of my design and to be directed by me they’re not paying me for healing for enlightenment for direction for guidance and I’m directing them and Meghan gratifying myself and taking their money in convincing mind fucking them and taking more of their money and more than money until they don’t talk to their friends because of and that’s how Colts are basically extractive from their students the colors are extracting from their devotees the difference is how many colors do you know that actually give their devotees money I will pay you oh now I’m making corned a porn director and I am more karmically correct than the fucking Guru who is fucking having people kiss his feet and take your money so who would have thought that the corn directors were the most enlightening Yogi’s to ever attempt to be divine and I have my favorites and I’m a fan of some of them I want I want to see the names but right now but that cuz I wouldn’t want to leave any out you know what I mean bless you all for paying people to direct them into your Twisted fucking fantasies and giving them that dignity like hats of their not wondering about it cuz there’s that was having a conversation today it’s like a buyer’s remorse if I say to you I’m just saying if you remember when you had to if you were old enough to know that there was a day when when when your allowance equals one CD for $15 so humorous if you never had experience this is important I think this is important teaching is important teachable moment is that is that and I don’t want to be today. Take care no man’s planning anything in them to have fun here but this is like this is this is late so here’s the funny thing though you think about I remember what it was like when I had to convince myself that amusing that a CD that fucking sucked was actually good because I paid money for it and I would not let myself suffer the indignity of having made a mistake so I was in a state of denial and delusion so so so feeling this isn’t meditation okay everybody think of something that you paid money for that you discovered was in the zoo is suboptimal and you used mental gymnastics to convince yourself that you actually liked it even though you knew deeply that you didn’t like it but it was called buyer’s remorse it was called the sunk cost fallacy of sunk cost fallacy is that because you invested something into this you have to continue beyond the point of no return because you can’t live with yourself other ways so that is this Twisted perverse placebo effect that happens when it’s like I went to the sex guru to get healed and he said for 9999 I would get here and but I but I could also upsell to the bonus extra double healing deluxe super Cosmic Crystal trademark excetera right thing and try before you buy money back guarantee accessories that you’re all of his legal he’s in fine print all the stuff but there is but that’s where it is we’re expecting to have some result that you paid money for and you will question whether or not okay did I was a hole in my heel did I pay enough money to pay more and some money and it is it distorts things and you did it it did contaminated in a way for that so I’m skeptical that I can be done right in that sense and that’s just me so what I say let’s work in the garden together my time equals your time and now we’re planting trees equals an hour of Yoni massage your prostate massage and therefore it’s a flat equal everybody has the same it’s his first come first serve you know and orgasms for work shirts that was my hand jobs for Humanity and helping a tree with two or so you’ll see it yeah it’s a white paper was written so is he ever gets faster so so that’s how I’m not going to be a cult leader is that I’m not going to charge people money to be Pawns in my game of or are you going to be players in my Game of Thrones Township Township twister you will get paid handsomely to be in my theater my game of Township twister and you can quit you can get any time you know that’s that’s that’s the thing to you won’t be like oh if I walk away now you know that then where I’m not like what I paid for I’m I’m already invested so much forever so so many different dynamics of of incentivization happening in this thing is so anyway that that was I think it is important to lay that out and and this is probably the first time I’ve articulated it on the podcast but I just was having this conversation today with this answer the CD metaphor thing where it’s like you know it did that it’s it’s a problem that way so so that’s I will not be extracting money from people in that in that way I’d rather pay them to be in my in my Productions and feel better about it that way so getting back to the fun stuff in the production itself so imagining that that would be the way from now on where I’m like if you want to that’s basically what I just described about that circuit of three people as a minimum to starting point is like that is the that is first base now you know that’s first base because getting into the circuitry of actual intercourse that’s where it required that’s where we get into the medical the medical responsibilities aspects and we get into more of the karmic sharing we’re really swapping scum he’s on an astral level at that point more so than if it’s an outercourse thing and you can’t go back once you know I don’t want to sound like a prepaid only sound like a six- future but but they were right about this mean you’re not wrong about everything they’ve had no sex for anybody ever. Is not the solution to people having sexually transmitted demons running rampant all over the place and it’s about making them your friends and making them work for you not against you and making them expose themselves properly and in you know where it’s not a pure realm we are not going to be perfectly protected in fear we can strive for that and we can use Kundalini and Prana and mantras and all of our medicines in purgatives and things to create a cleaner vessel to make more harmonious more resonance more signal-to-noise ratio and that is what to me this is all about and why we are missing out so badly to not be like I see this if God is wanted you got it for not created to nipples I can’t suck both nipples at the same time I tried some women I can do it on I’ve done it and you can do it some women is possible but for the most part so what does that mean what are you do do you limit God or do you just find someone else to be on the left or right side of you you know what is the big deal so when I think about this math equation how many erotic how many out of the box meaning not really the selective like subjective nuanced little erogenous zones that people get overtime in our lives but the out-of-the-box everybody is wired this way count how many erogenous zones you have and how what is the minimum number of mouse penis and genitals or fingers are human appendages required to simultaneously stimulate all those places it’s more than one person I can tell you that much you know so I just want us to start there and be creative in 2N to learn how to understand that we’re missing out and we should be wanting to gamify maximizing human potential for orgasmic pleasure because that is exorcism orgasm equals exorcism in some cultures who are Les Les Mis Sara Lee poetic about the floury discourse of symbols about sex life like a Latin American Shaman is said about her sexuality in the end in her how she explained why monogamous marriage was not really a thing in a culture that permitted extramarital sex and it was that in her mind and I am not going to say her name to cool her but I will say to paraphrase the essence of this wisdom is that to her mind it was just like an orgasm is like taking out the trash and that is not that’s not to say that it is mundane or a chore it is that it is a responsibility of hygiene in your household of your body Temple you need to have orgasms they need to be fulfilling need to get the job done and that is the exorcism aspect of it so the howling screeching all of these things that are considered that witches were burned forming figli sounds that those are the sounds of actual Holiness the set of holy the sound of Holiness is a woman’s orgasm and so let’s make those come more abundantly and let’s utilize map map the erogenous zones out of the box and then map the additional ones that are my favorite song and when you talk to me like this and this certain place I’m in the back of my head there whatever and then everyone has their own map so we can learn each other’s maps and if you don’t know your own map then you can ask people to help you there’s people who would love to lick and kiss and touch you and head to toe to find and explore you and and from a breasted state of consciousness D nice and yes I like to will you bring out the best in me that’s all I think that’s all you guys add that I can’t top that is the way to end so then really that was we didn’t even know that we put the icing on the motherfuking cake by saying you bring out the Best in Me so there was a documentary about at the peak of my desire to become a a rock star in the the crust Punk metal genre grindcore all that fun stuff I was studying that I wanted to understand and clock the music industry so I was watching every documentary I could find understanding music marketing and all the stuff and then I found this great documentary about about Jimi Hendrix and and I believe it was his fiance at a time who later became his wife if I remember correctly and she was talking about the time where he was building momentum and getting lots of gigs but still underground and she said something that stuck with me forever and if this moment which is it basically the hidden tension was used turn Express yeah we we all knew he was going to get sign or we all knew that you was going to take off he was going to blow up and so she said it was just about if someone puts put the icing on the motherfuking cake you know and I know and I felt that we we’re ready for that and we did some we had some we had some ice and get put on a motherfuking cake we did you get you always want more but I look back and I don’t think we could handle more so we got what we got and now I’m on a different I have a different cake I have a different cake mix and I don’t know if it’s that time I don’t know if it’s time to put the icing on the cake or not yeah I don’t know I mean the cake it’s getting cold she heard it mean if you’d if anyone has icing out there can it please be stevia-sweetened go Steven Johnson I don’t know how to hack them will work on that today I know it’s actually what I heard is that it’s a weird additive that they used to cut it because it’s so super sweet that you would basically died of sweetness if you didn’t like the step on it with some other things so I think that’s why I love growing Stevia and having a leaf to munch on and put in the tea because then you know is nothing else being put into it and it’s just as powerful you don’t really need to if you had the the live leaves one leaf enough will be enough to knock your head off for an hour so yeah I know on that snow yeah we’re going to put this devious fresh leave puree motherfuking icing on the cake I will put the icing on my own motherfuking cake that reminds me in 1 minute I just when I thought we couldn’t go out with a bigger bang this is going to be at because there was a a ritual ceremonial I called we called apart emoni where was the Psychedelic birthday party and we smeared cake all over each other and had to basically devour for the birthday gal of her own cake and it was just nipples and asses and I wanted to be in after from there I was my breasts Elsa. Playing for sure that brother and brother best me for sure but that when I got to put the icing on cake my damn self so don’t let anyone fucking tell you that you’re not none of me if you feel like it I mean I think we’re done I just can’t I’m going to fucking drop my phone right now when I might drop my phone on the couch citizen of the count but oh shit it’s next level add icy Cipher geise that’s going to have some cake with that icing okay thank you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.drudgereport.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and if you want a podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been at Tantra Punk. Com Thomas Day

Empowering Sex Workers in East Los Angeles with Alejandra Aguilar Avelino TPP184

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Alejandra Aguilar Avelino Pic

In this episode I’m honored to be joined by Alejandra Aguilar Avelino, an advocate, educator and service provider at the East Los Angeles Women Center. We met there recently at a Sex Workers Outreach Project event and she gave a moving speech to explain a piece of art she created in solidarity with the victims of sexual violence.  Her extensive experience in community support work is truly profound and she shares some very deep and intense insights on the intersections of religion, sexuality, economics, and politics.

We explore the efforts and potential to organize male clients of sex workers  to show more solidarity and do more to support the health and well being of sex workers, and she shares some of her hopes and dreams for expanding the scope of services and outreach in the future.

I was very grateful to learn from her and to share a passion for improving the outcomes and quality of lives for sex workers through their whole life cycle. I’m hoping that her work and that of her peers and colleagues will be well financed so they can carry on doing such important work!

Please visit:

https://www.elawc.org/

https://www.facebook.com/elawc/

Alejandra Aguilar Avelino immigrated to the United States from her native Michoacán Mexico when she was eight years old. Alejandra has more than 16 years of experience in the field of Community Education. Alejandra’s beginnings were with Planned Parenthood Los Angeles as a Promotora Comunitaria. Alejandra had the honor to serve as Secretary and Chair of ALIANZA, the Los Angeles Caucus on HIV/AIDS in Los Angeles County.Currently Alejandra is the lead health educator, HIV counselor and support group facilitator at the East Los Angeles Women’s Center where she does HIV Navigation services. . Alejandra also provides support services to HIV-positive women and is an active member of several community planning bodies dedicated to the empowerment, health and well being of people. Alejandra has presented in several conferences at local and state level. Some of Alejandra’s passions are continuous learning, the empowerment of Latina Women, and she fights tirelessly against Gender Violence and Reproductive Justice. In her spare ?me Alejandra enjoys spending time with her family, hiking, reading and expanding her own small online business which she also uses as a tool to help other women reach economic independency.

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin welcome to Tantra Punk podcast episode number 184 I’m being joined by Alejandra Aguilar and she is the health educator an HIV counselor at the East Los Angeles Women’s Center and we sort of met at a recent sex workers Outreach project event on December 17th which was the international day to end violence against sex workers and there was a beautiful creative artistic kind of community building event that was held there and that was the first time I had visited the East last night Women’s Center and I was very thrilled to know that that the place exists and of the great work they’re doing there and Alejandra was hosting the event through the space and has some really powerful and moving things to say about the work that she does in support of women’s health in and sexuality health and education and so I was very moved and thought I’d reach out and see if she like to tell us a bit more about her personal background and about what the great works that are offered at the center there so I’ll a hundred thank you so much for joining me looking forward to hearing more about your story thank you thank you Ben and thank you for inviting me to be part of this podcast so as you mention my name is HIV counselor at the East Los Angeles Women’s Center and yeah I recalled that for a little over 42 years and one of the things that we always want to let people know is that this is a place where women silence is hurt for the community has their silence and so we decided to open up our space so that sex workers and their allies and come in and and have a safe place to meet and so I have been working in the field of HIV for in reproductive health for a little over 14 years and you know when I arrive to this country when I was 8 years old and one of the reasons why I’m very passionate about advocating for Women Health is because specially for the health and well-being and the needs of let me know is because many times Latinas specially Latinos who are aware of the services that might be out there to support them and so one of my one of my reasons for being an ally in in the the support of sex workers is to be able to avoid the needs of women especially one of the things that I did was I was a child care provider even though I was a child myself I used to babysit that the children of many sex workers women who were immigrants who worked up at sex workers and so I got to see a lot of the needs that a lot of the new show of the women and definitely a lot of them are children and so you know as I was getting older I decided to to look into this route of being of service to to the community by advocating for the needs of your penis growing up I got to see how special immigrant women for sexual abuse that shows fault interpersonal violence and definitely sexual explotation and when I started working at the East Los Angeles Women’s Center I thought this is perfect I get to work for an organization that is aligned with my beliefs and here I am 14 years into providing Services Organization advocating for the woman’s name well that is so powerful and thank you so much for sharing that and specially about your personal background ATS really moving to me I know that there that there is a lot of really strong feminist history and in feminist movement history around women sexual health and and support services and also and sort of sort of vaguely aware of different tensions that there have been within the feminist movement around 7 is sewer or not as supportive of sex workers or of women who were involved in the adult industry and some some who maybe are more supportive some curious if you have had to navigate any of those those politics within the women within the women’s movement about the sort of taboo subjective of the sex industry not necessarily you know I am very fortunate to be in this organization I’m very fortunate to have a strong network of providers that believe in advocating for everyone and when we say everyone it means every single person regardless of what they’re definitely here at the women’s center we do not see people for what they do we see them for who they are and so when we see when we see you know a sex worker we see them for who they are first and foremost a human being have to keep for them or what you would like and definitely no I haven’t encountered any of that it does not mean that it’s not the doesn’t accept them pretty sure there’s so many people that have encounter with you but I myself have not I’m really glad to hear that because I got that Vibe definitely that there was no judgment and no no sort of distance or or or judgment you about about that because it is so it is so much a part of life and people want to ignore it or people want to just hiding from it but it’s it’s a real serious issues I appreciate it very much that that you hold that space and and I want to thank you for doing that so if you could help us understand a bit about what the the most vital needs are of those those women who are doing work in the sex industry what are some of the things that people should know about as far as what they face on a daily basis and even ways that that people who are maybe just wanting to support them where are they they want to be allies how they can also be supportive but would definitely I cannot speak for everyone but I can’t I am able to speak for those who I have been fortunate and humble enough to provide services doing these are the Immigrant Latinos who work in the bars on the country has most of the time you asked about their needs what their needs are definitely there’s a lot of me to to provide them with resources resources and when I say resources what kinds of resources and support that they need to let them know about the right and to let them know that if they have been abused molested in any way that there is are places that can help them if they need just a space where they can just feel safe that there’s such a space about what we hope to who provides many of the women that we service the well-being overall well-being we are always concerned about their health their physical health or emotional health because we know that it can take a toll on their health specially those who work at night all we know that is if it can be difficult for them to to take care of that their help because the majority of them are also mothers and because they are mothers you know many times Latinas put the needs of their own meat how can I say it they put their needs before the needs of anyone else and they last one but they’re nice and so I want to advocate for them we also want to let them know that they have rights we hope to educate them about the right within the women that we service some of them are hiv-positive and so will support them we support them by providing resources for their help for them so that they can receive the services well thank you very much again for doing that work in something that I that I have been made very much aware of by my association with women who who would be considered those very strong feminist critique of the patriarchal economic structures and just the way capitalism works and how how this Empire is really built on on its own built on the backs of immigrant labor and and and from what you’re saying it’s also built on the bodies of the sex workers who who serve a lot of different types of male laborers and I’m wondering what if you care to share from your personal perspective what are some observations are inside sore or strong feelings you may have around what the what the role of men who may be there maybe they are sex buyers or maybe they are temps or maybe they are you know what and then you can any level of that economy do you ever have the opportunity to to Enlighten them or two to help them become more active in doing the support work for the for the women or what what is your feeling about the men who are just kind of you don’t hear a lot about the John’s or the Pimp C male a male and get you component we are thinking by myself a big advocate for making change in our communities mobilizing one of the one of the things that I do is when I am able to speak to groups of men and provide them with information writing with resources to do is to let them would like for them specially if they are consumers of the services of the women who are sex workers Michael is for them not to think of the women as object to know that there’s a story behind them that there that these women might have gone through many struggles am I making sense yes this is amazing I love to hear it to hear more about it cuz I feel like it’s so lacking it’s so lacking in that people actually try to educate them and whether it’s about using condoms or or being just mine. I’m being respectful this is Range Community and to use their voice to Advocate from them as well to use whatever privilege they have as meant to protect them to advocate for them that’s definitely one one of our pools and one of the things that we hope to accomplish is for for men to go beyond those gender roles that they are putting the moment they are born we want them to understand that they can break out of that box I agree with you yes wow so if that that thank you so much for sharing those insights that they’re really really touches my my heart and soul because I feel like I’m as myself as a sex worker myself I’ve been mistreated and abused and certainly I would have loved for the very wealthy the wealth of the wealthier of my clients to to be giving back and supporting nonprofit organizations that actually create a better life and more resources 400 why wouldn’t you why wouldn’t you give back to to like a trade Association it was helping you have a good experience in helping you get your needs met so hopefully yeah I’m excited to hear about what you’re doing over the other people will do that kind of Outreach as well so if we could talk a bit about the I feel like it’s it would be important to give some context for people listening to this what what the scope of sexual assault really looks like from your perspective you’re really seeing and I again am I feel very honored to speak with you knowing that you’re you’ve chosen to be putting yourself in a position to have so much exposure and really be very empathetic and very compassionate towards people who are in times of Crisis and some of the the most extreme trauma and current crisis so you could help to sensitize the listeners of this podcast to do some what it what is sort of typical cycle is when you have someone to say come in for services who is in trauma or crisis and in kind of what whatever is appropriate you know for you to share but that I think would be good for us to understand that means we started in 1976 and actually disorganization begin you know it was first bilingual confidential 24 hour 7 days a week crisis hotline to be able to service and provide support to survivors of sexual assault what we do is we have a hotline and call if they have just been assaulted molested or phrase taking cold even if it happened many years ago in another country we provide supporting the support looks something like this we we do Hospital accompany me to go to the hospital to provide support to the Survivor of rape and we’re able to see people all ages for survivors from a baby to someone well over the age of 90 we see that again we see them for who they are we see them as human beings Survivor and we are basically there to support them we allow them to have a safe safe space to come in and speak support when and if they’re ready mix someone is ready and they would like to come in and receive support we can provide them with counseling therapy and again we never tell them what to do we are there in their healing journey in the journey to heal I said we’re walking hand-in-hand with them so where’s that the healing path and soul Moana singing about in 2016 I remember in 2016 we provided services to over 10,000 women and children on the hotline movie about 2,200 called so we’re pretty busy if ever since that Open Door hotline has never closed and twice a year would provide training for people to become sexual assault advocate so that they can help survivors they can do hospital but also so that they get the keys for the needs of survivors important so after all of this exposure that you and your colleagues and peers with organization in and near the community of people that you’re connected with her your allies in Von forcement in the justice system and that the hospital system and the the sword I guess there’s also the social services and Family Services sectors of thumb of the county and in local local governments I’m curious if you could talk about some of the powder and some of the insides whatever you’ve been able to kind of a phone some conclusions you may have arrived at just about to the patterns of abuse and where you feel like the most effective interventions can occur on the preventative side of this issue how to do there’s definitely a lot to do but we definitely one of our one of them nothing’s that needs to happen to be able to to end sexual assault and domestic violence definitely HIV we need to end violence against women and homophobia swell we definitely know that if we end violence against women we end homophobia we are very well and then into the HIV epidemic we are definitely going to see Alright by very much agree with that and tell me what comes to mind from me for my personal experience in for my studies and I love to hear what you had what you would have to stay from your perspective Which is far more I would say far from a highly developed than mine because of the position that you that you’ve taken up and and I would say with what are your thoughts on the you mentioned machismo that’s something that I’m interested to hear more about what what that where that comes from and what you would how you would advise people to deconstruct that that sort of some aspect of violence in and then also alcohol and Andrew role that you feel that plays or substance abuse and how that feeds into the violence well it’s definitely a collaborative effort of everyone social service providers to law enforcement to every single every single person has a responsibility to an hour in one of the things we have are you aware of basically the women from targeted community wengage and Outreach and education and what they do is they increase awareness of sexual assault and resources and domestic violence victims and their families but they also bring awareness and so one of the things that that we have here in our organization in mind you all women that can be women that are actively working a sex workers women for HIV positive Housewives just about anyone and they go through this training where they learn about their culture how their cultural experiences shape their identity with a lot of focus on the Latino cultures and Value Inn in the experiences that they might have had growing up and still one of the things that we encourage them don’t is to look at what what are the values of culture that contribute in a positive way to to have better communities to to make them feel safe right it in to make a change in the world and to keep those we encourage them to look at the one that can be toxic that can be done that perpetuate and we encourage them to to look at both and decide which ones they want to keep which ones they want to transmit to other generation so we start with that beautiful well thank you for doing that as well in I’m curious if we could go to the next question which is the just to the prevalence of alcohol and domestic violence I think is pretty well well known that a lot of sexual assault and violence happened in in circumstances that are sort of fueled by drunkenness and I’m curious if you have thoughts on to substance abuse and alcoholism and how that how that affects the work that you do and the the the women that you support but we do know that it art again you know what we need people were there as we don’t we do not follow up a model of trauma-informed that means we are not going to shame people if they have issues with substance abuse know we can help them try to get to the root of why they’re they’re using or why they’re drinking rice I can tell you definitely my perspective from what I saw growing now I can tell you that issues with alcoholism are very prevalent with the with the women who work in the bar and the emptiness sex workers because that is part of their work in order to make a living they have to drink with the client and so many women that start working in the barn and the emptiness when they start working in the bar on the time peanut they have never you know in their life they have never had a drink but once they start working out of their job it’s how they make that living and some many of them develop alcoholism that’s one of the things that I saw and so you know if you if you asked to do it that many have a history of abuse or trauma that it don’t even know that they have this history of abuser, they don’t even know what to name those feeling you know very bad idea that depression you have a very difficult situation for for the person you know when one of these again that I hate that I was able to see I was able to see because of the lack of support and empowerment and resources available to this woman I saw in a bunch of this day I still seen any of them Works who no longer work in the calendar because there was no support there was no one to assist them teach them how to how to make a budget how to save the money or even how to invest some of them and not only that but a lot of them ended up with issues of alcohol yeah I hear you and that actually comes at least to my next question really which is about what you see as some of the the positive outcomes and the I would say to be clear I don’t believe that it’s wrong to be a sex worker ever see for myself fight I am the part of the six work industry so there are some people would say well you just need to go to church and you need to quit the lifestyle and and and you need to leave it all behind you which I’m not I’m not here to say is this is right or wrong but but I will I will say that I’m very interested in what what six I think about the concept of a success story or someone who has overcome substance abuse or alcoholism and if they choose to remain active in the sex industry but I from a healthier place or if they choose to move beyond that I’m curious what you what are some of the pathways that you have facilitated or witnessed of of women who have become really empowered either is former sex workers or or or sort of sex workers in recovery what are some of the success stories that you would say that you’ve been a part of each other’s privacy and confidentiality if I can tell you that there’s this particular woman who is what after she became involved and after she was able to gather with other women saw other women like herself all about the right person for most of the human bean learn that there is nothing to be ashamed of learn to speak remind learn to Advocate Parker cell I was able to see an amazing transformation this is a person who now is able to speak up for herself this is someone who is able to negotiate pay for sex which I think it’s amazing to see this is someone who if she feels that someone is making her feel ashamed because of what she does she’s able to speak up she doesn’t know her head as she used to be for not just that but her priority priority priority herself above anything else in that include making better decisions when it comes to drinking that our decisions for her mean eating what you drink tea not not drinking as much as she used to before that you will forget to take her medication doesn’t make sense that is In N safety she she has been able to say she now has a savings account which is tremendous you know because now she’s planning or for the years I had to fight absolutely well I’ll take you out to other women beautiful well that’s that’s very good to hear and thank you again for doing that and just maybe a couple few more questions one will be going back to the the other half of the equation which is the the male role in and all of this into client role so I sounds like you’re yeah you have a lot of experience working with women who were in that that culture of the bar and cantina world and so like you said that there will be drinking is just part of the job and I’m curious if you if you could reach into the heart and soul of the the male clients and understand where they’re coming from and if they would maybe intergenerational trauma or or personal issues that they may be dealing with in and if we were to make if we were to all be working together to create more empowered and more conscious and then we’re healthy men and male clients and then maybe they would maybe this sounds ridiculous I guess but but I would love to see a world where where sex work is is legal and where people clients and and and service providers could meet up at a healthy juice bar or something or like a farmers market or something you know where it’s it’s not always in the context of of alcohol and that kind of sort of sector and so I’m just curious if when you think about this and when you work in this in this world if you do you have any advice for four men who are just maybe this sort of their kind of being set up or something I don’t know why I don’t know what you how you feel about just the whole the nature of that in of that that world of the the bar scene in the all that wouldn’t be able to provide education you know when I go out and we have those messages that week we share with with menopause sensitive to have healthy relationships with all the people in their life okay and do would you say while we’re on the topic of the Mennonite and I appreciate it and it sounds like what needs to happen is that more more men need to step up and organize and do Outreach it’s you already sounds like you’re already very your hands are full working with women and it sounds like that would be good for more men to anybody listening who has that the resources or the means to to do more Outreach Two Men and hopefully that will that will happen and I would say I just want another question just while we’re on the topic is if you if you feel like there is do you feel like a lot of the men who are of War buying the sexual services at women are they are they not really functional in their in their their own marriages that are on family life and are they I guess I don’t know like I said the other is there anything you can say about about the profile or the sort of in the attitude or the State of Mind of the mail client server or are they just a lot of single man to hoodoo don’t have a wife and that therefore they had they feel like they have to get through the day but with a beer you know with getting some drinks and inviting some sex and again there is so much so much change that needs to happen in one of them against the things that I be all that needs to happen from what I saw you know growing up in a very traditional community at 8 I was born in Mexico and I grew up in the town I was very religious it was okay for men to go to a bar in to go to La Cantina to look to spend some time with women right because many of them felt have to ask for certain things from their wives or their girlfriends was disrespectful and so they grew up thinking that the women that worked in the bar in the Campina where it was okay to have certain things of them right certain sexual things or even just to drink with them right again that idea that the women that worked in the casino or less than the women that are at home but that should not be the case that we can community that there’s this idea that yeah I’m going to go to the bar I’m going to go to the one with her right or she will be willing to deliver for a Spur to do and I cannot ask my wife to do that because she’s a good wife or she’s a good woman or she’s going to get offended if I ask her to do certain things when it might be very well that her wife at home or at home is wishing he will do those things with her because of how she grew up in this box that she was playing through gender role that don’t ask for something sexual well your violence violence that that if you are a good wife you would not dare ask for any of that and so that’s one of the things that I’m very passionate about teaching women again we let you know when it’s okay to to look for pleasure it’s okay to have conversations with your partner about certain things it’s okay to explore as long as you are both okay in the end it’s okay to look for a relationship with someone who is not going to feel threatened if you ask for certain things for your own pleasure well that is really powerful and I appreciate you saying that that really means a lot that really helps me understand a lot better and I hope I hope we can move towards that and and I appreciate the work you’re doing to create that space to explore and understand and and change the is paradigm so you’re so another question I have for you which is kind of this kind of extraordinary but I like to I like to do you know what some people call a thought experiment where you just think about what obviously you have you have some budgetary constraints and you have people power constraints but if you and your team or your colleagues the people you work within your organization if you somehow we’re blessed with the resources and the even just to say you won the lottery or something absurd like that but it was just say you had you had really almost Limitless potential or and Empower even politically to say okay this is all of this is all of the wisdom that we have and these are the proposals that we have and and if you just had what what you need to talk about investment and whatnot so if there was a if there was a venture capital firm that says we really think what you’re doing is important and we feel like that there is a benefit to society to have you you all have more resources and really if you if you had almost Limitless budget what are some of the things that you would do to to accelerate and grow and expand you know your services in certainly how I mean I would love to see since having been to the place you know your location I would love to see myself I would love to see you have more more acreage you no more land and something like the weirdest El Centro Farm was there some place where you can have Community Gardens in actual herbal Gardens in and healing natural areas and places for meeting that we’re outside and there were also safe and also had security so that’s just kind of what comes to my mind but I’m curious what you would do or what you would sort of dream up if you had almost no limits to what you can imagine wow there’s so much that we will definitely do love I can tell you that with a bigger budget we will definitely be able to since we will not have waiting list for four clients to to enrolled into into a program but definitely one thing will be to to increase to provide more support for the women that are hiv-positive because of budget I’m talking about financial support very limited women are always left behind and yet they’re the ones that love to see more help women’s health programs that are more sex-positive that are inclusive of sexual trauma Empower women to advocate for their sexual health definitely expand more men’s healing talking circles where they can wear the men pink and strengthen the relationship that we would love to see that but definitely if there was no monetary restrictions more more a healing circles or for women where they can talk about their health advocate for the health including their sexual health awesome thank you so much for sharing and I’m hoping that all of your dreams will come true you’re suddenly during such important and if I don’t work in the community and so yeah I wish you absolutely the best moving forward and hopefully yeah we’ll see each other again and then more more collaboration will happen that will be mutually supportive within our communities do you have any closing words you’d like to share and then also do you want to share the website URLs and any other links or any other ways to connect that would be great bilingual 24-hour hotline anyone can reach this hotline 24/7 the number is 800 5856 231 once again is 800-585-6231 and our website is www.ladwp.com org once again is so absolutely yes sir I appreciate it’s been an honor and do you have any last closing words you like to say is just a call to action or or things that you feel like if if people knew in NC could hear this voice than they would they would they would want to step up and and I guess it was before we say that you are a 501 c 3 charitable non-profit so donations are tax-deductible am I correct that we are especially in need of support because we have the only shelter in the mission where people can can go if they have just been sexually assaulted or if they have just landed on the hospital and they’re afraid to go back home or back to where the perpetrator or abuser is and we definitely need a lot of support for that our women’s HIV program a lot of sports comidas up with some sort of supporting in the dollar if you can share our website with others or even our Facebook page elawc please go ahead and do so we will be very grateful thank you so much Alejandro I think that was a really good introduction to all of the the work you’re doing and I hope that’s a lots of good things come from this and hopefully we will have meet again and and maybe we can follow up again and have you back on sometime in the future talk about some new developments and hopefully there’s there will be a lot more a lot more great things happening in the future so thank you again for your time and we’ll be in touch okay bye bye thank you for listening to the touch of Honey Pot www.entrepreneur.com can cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess temple in every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com Damas de

Futurizing the Public Policy of Sex Work with Devika the Techy Tantrika TPP183

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Devika Signh Pic

In this episode I’m joined again by dear friend and tantric comrade Devika the Techy Tantrika for a discussion about the future of public policy for sex workers, sex educators, sex technologists, and more. We explore our mutual fascination for the study of how sexuality is regulated by policy makers who seem to have decreasing interest in consulting with the populations their laws affect the most. An emergent property of our convo is the fleshing out of a sort of verbal white paper outlining the problems we’re facing in the sex industry and the innovative solutions that are rapidly evolving in the sex tech space.

Check out our first episode for more info on her personal backstory:

https://tantrapunk.com/open-source-intimacy-with-devika-the-techy-tantrika-tpp131/

About Devika:

Devika J. Singh/The Techy Tantrika is a Tantric Sex and Self-Relationship Coach as well as a Performess. Her diverse creative endeavours as well as her views on holistic sex, intimacy, self-relationship and self-care have culminated into the one-on-one online coaching practice she has today. Devika’s unique take on traditional and Neo-Tantric practices along with her continuous dedication to providing commentary on tech trends that affect the way we date and intimately connect shine through in her YouTube video series where she provides Tantric sex and dating advice to her audience.

You can find Devika’s YouTube sex+dating advice video series at youtube.com/thetechytantrika

Follow her Instagram at:
http://www.instagram.com/thetechytantrika

You can also find out more about her coaching practice and writing at devika-singh.com

Topics we discuss include:

  • the future of age verification regulation and innovations in blockchain tech
  • the hyper regulation of fosta/sesta
  • https://www.woodhullfoundation.org/
  • statistics of harm reduction in decriminalized sex industries
  • how criminalization of websites pushes sex workers back into the hands of pimps
  • the risks to sex workers increasing as regulations take away online reputation and client vetting systems
  • with more rights, sex workers can build more resilient safety nets
  • law enforcement is actually disempowered by fosta/sesta as they no longer have a places to gather evidence and conduct investigations
  • lessons from Nevada and Amsterdam sex work policy
  • December 17th International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers
  • Sex Workers Outreach Project USA
  • Sex Workers Outreach Project Los Angeles
  • Sex work as a layer in the “software stack” that is modern civilization
  • the need for tantra corporate retreats to better facilitate the intelligent flow of sexual energy for increase productivity and team building
  • sex workers do God’s work
  • involuntary celebates Vice article
  • how sex workers prevent violence by providing much needed sexual outlets for those who’s sexually needs are unmet in relationships
  • the value of polyamory community to open public discourse on alternative relationship models
  • the importance of consent and how healthy sex industries facilitate consent best practices
  • the agility of technology and the slow rate of change in government sectors
  • the need for tantra instructors to have the same protections and freedoms as spiritual and religious leaders
  • how those in the sex industry have to live double lives and hide their sexual identity to fit into mainstream society, maintain or apply for jobs, etc.
  • how current systems are outdated and barbaric
  • how open-source and peer-to-peer technologies are creating new dimensions of freedom and empowerment
  • the libertarian sentiment: “stater’s gonna state”
  • Caligula’s regulation and taxation of brothels in ancient Rome
  • the potential for technology to prevent insurrectionary street battles with police such as in the origins of the gay rights movement and the Stonewall Riots
  • the need for tech savy sexuality educators, service providers and policy makers in the Nevada blockchain city
  • crypto billionaries building crypto social infrastructure in Puetro Rico
  • the Silicon Valley of Crypto in Zug, Switzerland
  • Joe Lubin’s sex positive attitude towards Ameen Soliemani and SpankChain
  • the sexual economics of the wild west and the evolution of brothels
  • how sex workers have generated the revenue for municipal projects, public works, and civil services in gold rush town
  • the progressive sex work policies in Australia
  • the tragic irony of how sexual health has evolved, and public policy around sex work has devolved
  • advocating for natural birth control methods beyond the rhythm method
  • revitalizing ancient sexual health wisdom and practices
  • how sex workers are better qualified to teach sex ed and safer sex
  • the history of witch trials and burning
  • the demonization of midwives for empowering women to have sexual and reproductive sovereignty
  • the often unexamined and unacknowledged negative side effects of birth control pills
  • ancient yogini cults of India and the rebellion of tantric witches in India
  • how marginalized women such as widows, prostitutes, and those who’ve escaped abusive relationships are a force to be reckoned with when they organize and band together
  • differences between neo-tantra and classical tantra
  • how 2019 will be the year of the sex witch
  • yoni steam baths with Steamy Chick
  • how midwives often become referees in hospital birthing situations where mother’s are mistreated and misinformed
  • the power of women in crypto and blockchain
  • the women of crypto track at the crypto invest summit
  • the southern california blockchain community and Blockchain Beach meet up
  • financial feminism in the crypto space
  • the hypocrisy of law maker sex buyers who legislate against sex workers
  • reverse doxing
  • the Ashley Madison hack
  • the notion that high profile clients should give back to support the decriminalization, unionization, health benefits, and other rights and amenities for sex workers
  • the notion of the techno shaman and their roles and responsibilities in protecting and defending the global cyber village
  • if good people don’t master tech, only the bad people will
  • future visions for goddess temples where sex is earned through meaningful local service to the women and the health of their families and their full life cycles
  • the political economy of making love not war and how throughout history love has been suppressed to create less attached soldiers
  • the under-representation of women in tech and computer science
  • the depressing statistics on venture funding and C-level employment for females
  • how a world with more balanced access to funding and corporate authority is as yet unimaginable, but we anticipate it to be much healthier, more beautiful, safe, and equitable, most importantly for sex workers and the sex trade

 

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin welcome to Tantra Punk podcast episode number 184 I’m being joined by Alejandra Aguilar and she is the health educator an HIV counselor at the East Los Angeles Women’s Center and we sort of met at a recent sex workers Outreach project event on December 17th which was the international day to end violence against sex workers and there was a beautiful creative artistic kind of community building event that was held there and that was the first time I had visited the East last night Women’s Center and I was very thrilled to know that that the place exists and of the great work they’re doing there and Alejandra was hosting the event through the space and has some really powerful and moving things to say about the work that she does in support of women’s health in and sexuality health and education and so I was very moved and thought I’d reach out and see if she like to tell us a bit more about her personal background and about what the great works that are offered at the center there so I’ll a hundred thank you so much for joining me looking forward to hearing more about your story thank you thank you Ben and thank you for inviting me to be part of this podcast so as you mention my name is HIV counselor at the East Los Angeles Women’s Center and yeah I recalled that for a little over 42 years and one of the things that we always want to let people know is that this is a place where women silence is hurt for the community has their silence and so we decided to open up our space so that sex workers and their allies and come in and and have a safe place to meet and so I have been working in the field of HIV for in reproductive health for a little over 14 years and you know when I arrive to this country when I was 8 years old and one of the reasons why I’m very passionate about advocating for Women Health is because specially for the health and well-being and the needs of let me know is because many times Latinas specially Latinos who are aware of the services that might be out there to support them and so one of my one of my reasons for being an ally in in the the support of sex workers is to be able to avoid the needs of women especially one of the things that I did was I was a child care provider even though I was a child myself I used to babysit that the children of many sex workers women who were immigrants who worked up at sex workers and so I got to see a lot of the needs that a lot of the new show of the women and definitely a lot of them are children and so you know as I was getting older I decided to to look into this route of being of service to to the community by advocating for the needs of your penis growing up I got to see how special immigrant women for sexual abuse that shows fault interpersonal violence and definitely sexual explotation and when I started working at the East Los Angeles Women’s Center I thought this is perfect I get to work for an organization that is aligned with my beliefs and here I am 14 years into providing Services Organization advocating for the woman’s name well that is so powerful and thank you so much for sharing that and specially about your personal background ATS really moving to me I know that there that there is a lot of really strong feminist history and in feminist movement history around women sexual health and and support services and also and sort of sort of vaguely aware of different tensions that there have been within the feminist movement around 7 is sewer or not as supportive of sex workers or of women who were involved in the adult industry and some some who maybe are more supportive some curious if you have had to navigate any of those those politics within the women within the women’s movement about the sort of taboo subjective of the sex industry not necessarily you know I am very fortunate to be in this organization I’m very fortunate to have a strong network of providers that believe in advocating for everyone and when we say everyone it means every single person regardless of what they’re definitely here at the women’s center we do not see people for what they do we see them for who they are and so when we see when we see you know a sex worker we see them for who they are first and foremost a human being have to keep for them or what you would like and definitely no I haven’t encountered any of that it does not mean that it’s not the doesn’t accept them pretty sure there’s so many people that have encounter with you but I myself have not I’m really glad to hear that because I got that Vibe definitely that there was no judgment and no no sort of distance or or or judgment you about about that because it is so it is so much a part of life and people want to ignore it or people want to just hiding from it but it’s it’s a real serious issues I appreciate it very much that that you hold that space and and I want to thank you for doing that so if you could help us understand a bit about what the the most vital needs are of those those women who are doing work in the sex industry what are some of the things that people should know about as far as what they face on a daily basis and even ways that that people who are maybe just wanting to support them where are they they want to be allies how they can also be supportive but would definitely I cannot speak for everyone but I can’t I am able to speak for those who I have been fortunate and humble enough to provide services doing these are the Immigrant Latinos who work in the bars on the country has most of the time you asked about their needs what their needs are definitely there’s a lot of me to to provide them with resources resources and when I say resources what kinds of resources and support that they need to let them know about the right and to let them know that if they have been abused molested in any way that there is are places that can help them if they need just a space where they can just feel safe that there’s such a space about what we hope to who provides many of the women that we service the well-being overall well-being we are always concerned about their health their physical health or emotional health because we know that it can take a toll on their health specially those who work at night all we know that is if it can be difficult for them to to take care of that their help because the majority of them are also mothers and because they are mothers you know many times Latinas put the needs of their own meat how can I say it they put their needs before the needs of anyone else and they last one but they’re nice and so I want to advocate for them we also want to let them know that they have rights we hope to educate them about the right within the women that we service some of them are hiv-positive and so will support them we support them by providing resources for their help for them so that they can receive the services well thank you very much again for doing that work in something that I that I have been made very much aware of by my association with women who who would be considered those very strong feminist critique of the patriarchal economic structures and just the way capitalism works and how how this Empire is really built on on its own built on the backs of immigrant labor and and and from what you’re saying it’s also built on the bodies of the sex workers who who serve a lot of different types of male laborers and I’m wondering what if you care to share from your personal perspective what are some observations are inside sore or strong feelings you may have around what the what the role of men who may be there maybe they are sex buyers or maybe they are temps or maybe they are you know what and then you can any level of that economy do you ever have the opportunity to to Enlighten them or two to help them become more active in doing the support work for the for the women or what what is your feeling about the men who are just kind of you don’t hear a lot about the John’s or the Pimp C male a male and get you component we are thinking by myself a big advocate for making change in our communities mobilizing one of the one of the things that I do is when I am able to speak to groups of men and provide them with information writing with resources to do is to let them would like for them specially if they are consumers of the services of the women who are sex workers Michael is for them not to think of the women as object to know that there’s a story behind them that there that these women might have gone through many struggles am I making sense yes this is amazing I love to hear it to hear more about it cuz I feel like it’s so lacking it’s so lacking in that people actually try to educate them and whether it’s about using condoms or or being just mine. I’m being respectful this is Range Community and to use their voice to Advocate from them as well to use whatever privilege they have as meant to protect them to advocate for them that’s definitely one one of our pools and one of the things that we hope to accomplish is for for men to go beyond those gender roles that they are putting the moment they are born we want them to understand that they can break out of that box I agree with you yes wow so if that that thank you so much for sharing those insights that they’re really really touches my my heart and soul because I feel like I’m as myself as a sex worker myself I’ve been mistreated and abused and certainly I would have loved for the very wealthy the wealth of the wealthier of my clients to to be giving back and supporting nonprofit organizations that actually create a better life and more resources 400 why wouldn’t you why wouldn’t you give back to to like a trade Association it was helping you have a good experience in helping you get your needs met so hopefully yeah I’m excited to hear about what you’re doing over the other people will do that kind of Outreach as well so if we could talk a bit about the I feel like it’s it would be important to give some context for people listening to this what what the scope of sexual assault really looks like from your perspective you’re really seeing and I again am I feel very honored to speak with you knowing that you’re you’ve chosen to be putting yourself in a position to have so much exposure and really be very empathetic and very compassionate towards people who are in times of Crisis and some of the the most extreme trauma and current crisis so you could help to sensitize the listeners of this podcast to do some what it what is sort of typical cycle is when you have someone to say come in for services who is in trauma or crisis and in kind of what whatever is appropriate you know for you to share but that I think would be good for us to understand that means we started in 1976 and actually disorganization begin you know it was first bilingual confidential 24 hour 7 days a week crisis hotline to be able to service and provide support to survivors of sexual assault what we do is we have a hotline and call if they have just been assaulted molested or phrase taking cold even if it happened many years ago in another country we provide supporting the support looks something like this we we do Hospital accompany me to go to the hospital to provide support to the Survivor of rape and we’re able to see people all ages for survivors from a baby to someone well over the age of 90 we see that again we see them for who they are we see them as human beings Survivor and we are basically there to support them we allow them to have a safe safe space to come in and speak support when and if they’re ready mix someone is ready and they would like to come in and receive support we can provide them with counseling therapy and again we never tell them what to do we are there in their healing journey in the journey to heal I said we’re walking hand-in-hand with them so where’s that the healing path and soul Moana singing about in 2016 I remember in 2016 we provided services to over 10,000 women and children on the hotline movie about 2,200 called so we’re pretty busy if ever since that Open Door hotline has never closed and twice a year would provide training for people to become sexual assault advocate so that they can help survivors they can do hospital but also so that they get the keys for the needs of survivors important so after all of this exposure that you and your colleagues and peers with organization in and near the community of people that you’re connected with her your allies in Von forcement in the justice system and that the hospital system and the the sword I guess there’s also the social services and Family Services sectors of thumb of the county and in local local governments I’m curious if you could talk about some of the powder and some of the insides whatever you’ve been able to kind of a phone some conclusions you may have arrived at just about to the patterns of abuse and where you feel like the most effective interventions can occur on the preventative side of this issue how to do there’s definitely a lot to do but we definitely one of our one of them nothing’s that needs to happen to be able to to end sexual assault and domestic violence definitely HIV we need to end violence against women and homophobia swell we definitely know that if we end violence against women we end homophobia we are very well and then into the HIV epidemic we are definitely going to see Alright by very much agree with that and tell me what comes to mind from me for my personal experience in for my studies and I love to hear what you had what you would have to stay from your perspective Which is far more I would say far from a highly developed than mine because of the position that you that you’ve taken up and and I would say with what are your thoughts on the you mentioned machismo that’s something that I’m interested to hear more about what what that where that comes from and what you would how you would advise people to deconstruct that that sort of some aspect of violence in and then also alcohol and Andrew role that you feel that plays or substance abuse and how that feeds into the violence well it’s definitely a collaborative effort of everyone social service providers to law enforcement to every single every single person has a responsibility to an hour in one of the things we have are you aware of basically the women from targeted community wengage and Outreach and education and what they do is they increase awareness of sexual assault and resources and domestic violence victims and their families but they also bring awareness and so one of the things that that we have here in our organization in mind you all women that can be women that are actively working a sex workers women for HIV positive Housewives just about anyone and they go through this training where they learn about their culture how their cultural experiences shape their identity with a lot of focus on the Latino cultures and Value Inn in the experiences that they might have had growing up and still one of the things that we encourage them don’t is to look at what what are the values of culture that contribute in a positive way to to have better communities to to make them feel safe right it in to make a change in the world and to keep those we encourage them to look at the one that can be toxic that can be done that perpetuate and we encourage them to to look at both and decide which ones they want to keep which ones they want to transmit to other generation so we start with that beautiful well thank you for doing that as well in I’m curious if we could go to the next question which is the just to the prevalence of alcohol and domestic violence I think is pretty well well known that a lot of sexual assault and violence happened in in circumstances that are sort of fueled by drunkenness and I’m curious if you have thoughts on to substance abuse and alcoholism and how that how that affects the work that you do and the the the women that you support but we do know that it art again you know what we need people were there as we don’t we do not follow up a model of trauma-informed that means we are not going to shame people if they have issues with substance abuse know we can help them try to get to the root of why they’re they’re using or why they’re drinking rice I can tell you definitely my perspective from what I saw growing now I can tell you that issues with alcoholism are very prevalent with the with the women who work in the bar and the emptiness sex workers because that is part of their work in order to make a living they have to drink with the client and so many women that start working in the barn and the emptiness when they start working in the bar on the time peanut they have never you know in their life they have never had a drink but once they start working out of their job it’s how they make that living and some many of them develop alcoholism that’s one of the things that I saw and so you know if you if you asked to do it that many have a history of abuse or trauma that it don’t even know that they have this history of abuser, they don’t even know what to name those feeling you know very bad idea that depression you have a very difficult situation for for the person you know when one of these again that I hate that I was able to see I was able to see because of the lack of support and empowerment and resources available to this woman I saw in a bunch of this day I still seen any of them Works who no longer work in the calendar because there was no support there was no one to assist them teach them how to how to make a budget how to save the money or even how to invest some of them and not only that but a lot of them ended up with issues of alcohol yeah I hear you and that actually comes at least to my next question really which is about what you see as some of the the positive outcomes and the I would say to be clear I don’t believe that it’s wrong to be a sex worker ever see for myself I die in the part of the six work industry so there are some people would say well you just need to go to church and you need to quit the lifestyle and and and you need to leave it all behind you which I’m not I’m not here to say is this is right or wrong but but I will I will say that I’m very interested in what what 6 I think about the concept of a success story or someone who has overcome substance abuse or alcoholism in if they choose to remain active in the sex industry but I from a healthier place or if they choose to move beyond that I’m curious what you what are some of the pathways that you have facilitated or witnessed of of women who have become really empowered either is former sex workers or or or sort of sex workers in recovery what are some of the success stories that you would say that you’ve been a part of each other’s privacy and confidentiality if I can tell you that there’s this particular woman who is what after she became involved and after she was able to gather with other women saw other women like herself all about the right person for most of the human bean learn that there is nothing to be ashamed of learn to speak remind learn to Advocate Parker cell I was able to see an amazing transformation this is a person who now is able to speak up for herself this is someone who is able to negotiate pay for sex which I think it’s amazing to see this is someone who if she feels that someone is making her feel ashamed because of what she does she’s able to speak up she doesn’t know her head as she used to be for not just that but her priority priority priority herself above anything else in that include making better decisions when it comes to drinking that our decisions for her mean eating what you drink tea not not drinking as much as she used to before that you will forget to take her medication doesn’t make sense that is In N safety she she has been able to say she now has a savings account which is tremendous you know because now she’s planning or for the years I had to fight absolutely well I’ll take you out to other women beautiful well that’s that’s very good to hear and thank you again for doing that and just maybe a couple few more questions one will be going back to the the other half of the equation which is the the male role in and all of this into client role so I sounds like you’re yeah you have a lot of experience working with women who were in that that culture of the bar and cantina world and so like you said that there will be drinking is just part of the job and I’m curious if you if you could reach into the heart and soul of the the male clients and understand where they’re coming from and if they would maybe intergenerational trauma or or personal issues that they may be dealing with in and if we were to make if we were to all be working together to create more empowered and more conscious and then we’re healthy men and male clients and then maybe they would maybe this sounds ridiculous I guess but but I would love to see a world where where sex work is is legal and where people clients and and and service providers could meet up at a healthy juice bar or something or like a farmers market or something you know where it’s it’s not always in the context of of alcohol and that kind of sort of sector and so I’m just curious if when you think about this and when you work in this in this world if you do you have any advice for four men who are just maybe this sort of their kind of being set up or something I don’t know why I don’t know what you how you feel about just the whole the nature of that in of that that world of the the bar scene in the all that wouldn’t be able to provide education you know when I go out and we have those messages that week we share with with menopause sensitive to have healthy relationships with all the people in their life okay and do would you say while we’re on the topic of the Mennonite and I appreciate it and it sounds like what needs to happen is that more more men need to step up and organize and do Outreach it’s you already sounds like you’re already very your hands are full working with women and it sounds like that would be good for more men to anybody listening who has that the resources or the means to to do more Outreach Two Men and hopefully that will that will happen and I would say I just want another question just while we’re on the topic is if you if you feel like there is do you feel like a lot of the men who are of War buying the sexual services at women are they are they not really functional in their in their their own marriages that are on family life and are they I guess I don’t know like I said the other is there anything you can say about about the profile or the sort of in the attitude or the State of Mind of the mail client server or are they just a lot of single man to hoodoo don’t have a wife and that therefore they had they feel like they have to get through the day but with a beer you know with getting some drinks and inviting some sex and again there is so much so much change that needs to happen in one of them against the things that I be all that needs to happen from what I saw you know growing up in a very traditional community at 8 I was born in Mexico and I grew up in the town I was very religious it was okay for men to go to a bar in to go to La Cantina to look to spend some time with women right because many of them felt have to ask for certain things from their wives or their girlfriends was disrespectful and so they grew up thinking that the women that worked in the bar in the Campina where it was okay to have certain things of them right certain sexual things or even just to drink with them right again that idea that the women that worked in the casino or less than the women that are at home but that should not be the case that we can community that there’s this idea that yeah I’m going to go to the bar I’m going to go to the one with her right or she will be willing to deliver for a Spur to do and I cannot ask my wife to do that because she’s a good wife or she’s a good woman or she’s going to get offended if I ask her to do certain things when it might be very well that her wife at home or at home is wishing he will do those things with her because of how she grew up in this box that she was playing through gender role that don’t ask for something sexual well your violence violence that that if you are a good wife you would not dare ask for any of that and so that’s one of the things that I’m very passionate about teaching women again we let you know when it’s okay to to look for pleasure it’s okay to have conversations with your partner about certain things it’s okay to explore as long as you are both okay in the end it’s okay to look for a relationship with someone who is not going to feel threatened if you ask for certain things for your own pleasure well that is really powerful and I appreciate you saying that that really means a lot that really helps me understand a lot better and I hope I hope we can move towards that and and I appreciate the work you’re doing to create that space to explore and understand and and change the is paradigm so you’re so another question I have for you which is kind of this kind of extraordinary but I like to I like to do you know what some people call a thought experiment where you just think about what obviously you have you have some budgetary constraints and you have people power constraints but if you and your team or your colleagues the people you work within your organization if you somehow we’re blessed with the resources and the even just to say you won the lottery or something absurd like that but it was just say you had you had really almost Limitless potential or and Empower even politically to say okay this is all of this is all of the wisdom that we have and these are the proposals that we have and and if you just had what what you need to talk about investment and whatnot so if there was a if there was a venture capital firm that says we really think what you’re doing is important and we feel like that there is a benefit to society to have you you all have more resources and really if you if you had almost Limitless budget what are some of the things that you would do to to accelerate and grow and expand you know your services in certainly how I mean I would love to see since having been to the place you know your location I would love to see myself I would love to see you have more more acreage you no more land and something like the weirdest El Centro Farm was there some place where you can have Community Gardens in actual herbal Gardens in and healing natural areas and places for meeting that we’re outside and there were also safe and also had security so that’s just kind of what comes to my mind but I’m curious what you would do or what you would sort of dream up if you had almost no limits to what you can imagine wow there’s so much that we will definitely do love I can tell you that with a bigger budget we will definitely be able to since we will not have waiting list for four clients to to enrolled into into a program but definitely one thing will be to to increase to provide more support for the women that are hiv-positive because of budget I’m talking about financial support very limited women are always left behind and yet they’re the ones that love to see more help women’s health programs that are more sex-positive that are inclusive of sexual trauma Empower women to advocate for their sexual health definitely expand more men’s healing talking circles where they can wear the men pink and strengthen the relationship that we would love to see that but definitely if there was no monetary restrictions more more a healing circles or for women where they can talk about their health advocate for the health including their sexual health awesome thank you so much for sharing and I’m hoping that all of your dreams will come true you’re suddenly during such important and if I don’t work in the community and so yeah I wish you absolutely the best moving forward and hopefully yeah we’ll see each other again and then more more collaboration will happen that will be mutually supportive within our communities do you have any closing words you’d like to share and then also do you want to share the website URLs and any other links or any other ways to connect that would be great bilingual 24-hour hotline anyone can reach this hotline 24/7 the number is 800 5856 231 once again is 800-585-6231 and our website is www.ladwp.com org once again is so absolutely yes sir I appreciate it’s been an honor and do you have any last closing words you like to say is just a call to action or or things that you feel like if if people knew in NC could hear this voice than they would they would they would want to step up and and I guess it was before we say that you are a 501 c 3 charitable non-profit so donations are tax-deductible am I correct that we are especially in need of support because we have the only shelter in the mission where people can can go if they have just been sexually assaulted or if they have just landed on the hospital and they’re afraid to go back home or back to where the perpetrator or abuser is and we definitely need a lot of support for that our women’s HIV program a lot of sports comidas up with some sort of supporting in the dollar if you can share our website with others or even our Facebook page elawc please go ahead and do so we will be very grateful thank you so much Alejandro I think that was a really good introduction to all of the the work you’re doing and I hope that’s a lots of good things come from this and hopefully we will have meet again and and maybe we can follow up again and have you back on sometime in the future talk about some new developments and hopefully there’s there will be a lot more a lot more great things happening in the future so thank you again for your time and we’ll be in touch okay bye bye thank you for listening to the touch of Honey Pot www.entrepreneur.com can cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess temple in every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com Damas de

Holistic Sexual Health


CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THIS VIDEO FOR FREE!

Here are some of Alexandria’s recommended links:

https://www.justthefacts.co.nz/index.php/do-i-have-stis-sexually-transmitted-infections/sexually-transmitted-infections-sti-myths-and-facts/

https://www.condomdepot.com/sampler-packs/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xJgEetiGh4

 

The Path of a Holistic Porn Star with Felicity Feline TPP80

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Felicity Feline PicIn this episode I have the pleasure of speaking with holistic porn star Felicity Feline about her life journey of ecological consciousness, yoga, out door fitness, drumming, music production, motorcycling, plant based health and wellness, and much more. We compare notes about the state of the adult entertainment industry and the benefits of bringing a positive attitude and a purified mind, body, and spirit on set and on screen.

About Felicity:
A little about me – I am 24 years old, a plant-based nutritional consultant, drummer of over 15 years, a music producer, stage-dancer, yoga enthusiast, a blogger, writer and photographer, a promotional model, and actress. I am very easy to get along with and full of positive energy! I live a very pure lifestyle that includes a gluten-free, primarily raw vegan diet with vigorous outdoor exercise!

​​​​​​​​I am an established adult model with a variety of acting and promotional work experience as well. I have worked for a variety of different organic brands and have a multitude of experience in sales, promotional modeling, and demoing. I am extremely comfortable working with the public and standing for hours. I have worked for brands including Plant Fusion, Amazing Grass, Raw Revolution, Garden of Life, Runa, Questbar, Sunwarrior, Amrita, Armor Gel, and more!

I have trademarked my stage name and logo and also have a DBA. My brand is growing every day and I am looking to work with other motivated people.

I also have a background in college sociology and nutrition, journalism, retail, personal assistance, reporting, photography and art experience. I have appeared on an Ink Master television special as well as a Vice documentary. I have worked countless expos, conventions, and festivals and am very comfortable interacting with people at events.

My blog: www.felicityfelinemusic.com

Twitter: felicityxfeline

Instagram: felicityxfeline

Facebook: Felicity Feline

Sexual Exploitation in Tantra with Devashi Shakti TPP39

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Devashi picThis episode is not a typical interview format. It’s a collaborative discourse on the topic of the sexual exploitation of women in tantra, followed by an extensive exposition detailing my personal ethics, boundaries, procedures, and protocols. Devashi graciously holds a lot of sacred space for me and generously offers insightful critiques that I feel are exquisite gifts to men who are striving to do right as dakas.

Devashi bio:
Dévashi Shakti is an international leader in feminine psycho-sexual development and practical Sacred Feminine wisdom. She has 18yrs experience as a practitioner, confidante and teacher. In her private practise, Dévashi has assisted thousands of women & men to experience awakening of their internal energy, in connection with their heart and spirit. She’s passionate about providing sanctuary spaces for women to learn about their sensuality and sexuality in safe environments, without the ambiguous dynamics often found in the tantric world. Tigress Yoga is the first in the world to offer a tantric based yoga practise designed specifically for woman’s body. Currently Dévashi is doing a PhD in Somatic Psychology, documenting the effectiveness of Tigress Yoga.

Please visit her website and watch the videos linked below for more info and discussion of this topic.

Tigress Yoga
http://www.tigressyoga.com/

Sexual Exploitation of Women in Tantra
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ne7RkpqesNg

What Evolved Women Are Missing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYYphCd8WuE

AI Generated Transcription:
(Want to help with corrections? Please contact me to learn about rewards for your efforts!)

Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear beloved welcome to Township on podcast I’m here with Shiva rajaya who has recently become one of my top personal heroes in the tundra world because I’ve been following his work and I’m just feeling like we’re all blessed to have him in the world and see what would you be so kind as to give us a bit of a background your journey into Tantra and and how you’re expressing your gift to the world now it says that everything you know if every sexualized is quite a different definition in the way I approach it for me country is a complete path of Life Mastery I go up to the Himalayas to high mountains there to the very source of the Ganges send the route of Tantra yoga and so I give a tantra are really kind of infinite sphere potential and include a whole lot of things that would not appear as tantric to the average person so what we are going to focus on in this discussion which has to do with relationships and sex problem is a small fraction of what I what I focus on in my teaching okay I want you to make that clear so that if they are at least three said they are who are wondering what is my Approach that is the sticky notes only focus on sex you know what I could share he said if I can sex and tantric sex but there is video Fostoria of other topics that we could be covering if there was a need for that I started my journey you know when I was twelve if I came across from school ribando Journey you know I’m getting my own yoga practice joining different Mystery Schools learning about secret languages and I used to be a journalist a long time ago and after to yourself and go Fredonia to stretch or training and I did that for 20 years for truce ahead of fuel mixture of gurus in my life and after that. We share and it around 2,000 2,000 to launch my own coaching practice and start exploring more about personal development tend to different techniques to to upgrade to optimize your mind and are you functioning knife so of course sex is part of us it’s so true an essential aspect of her life Sexual Energy the way we have sex the way we engage it is at the very core of the very root of relationships you know romantic relationships at the very root of marriages so depending on how you play with sexual energy in the qualities that you bring in there is going to have a massive impact in your life so when you look at sex you have you no different approach so different ways of looking at it one of them is through the traditional romantic dream in your phone in love you meet your soulmate you get married you have a family and so on this is the word Lee kind of interpretation of of sex family and relationships the way I look at it it’s is positions sex on a different frequency and I look at sex and the sexual practices engaging with the country club her as an expansion of consciousness so it’s no longer fundamentally about creating story with somebody and building a relationship it’s much more about a spiritual practice that aims at opening your mind in opening of Life two realities that you would not touch otherwise so we use the sexual energy to open your chakras to circulate energy eventually to enter into mystical into orgasmic states that last for you know sometimes days or even weeks depending on how good you are at standing this these practices so those two parallel approaches of having the Romantic dream in the traditional worldly life and the traffic approaching the tantric sex approach I have been in prayer live my life for you know for a long time and now I you know I go to time I record videos I teach a broadcast in my whole life static 82 helping p you know master that lives and again the sexual aspects is a fraction of what I teach you know you have life Mastery the complete life Mastery system contains you know lots of lots of things that have to do with building houses tunable relationships mastering your mind muscle in your body muscle in your relationship to money and the mess your world material yeah I’m at your wealth and ended mastering your relationship to the spirit which is everything that is in invisible everything that has to do with meditation magic with chest with spinach and salmon and Swan religious practices so yeah this is a little bit to contacts I mean and yeah thank you so much says it’s beautiful I really appreciate what you laid out there is so important for people to understand and I really like the way you articulated it in the past about how the spirit of Tantra you could say is coming to the west to work on the second chakra issues cuz that’s where it’s needed the most but it’s only a 1/7 of the shackle diagram you know really so there is some as so much healing is needed there and I’m just so thankful that you’re out there bringing all of those aspects together and helping people progressed to the full holistic picture of self-mastery so something that I was really moved by as I was listening to all of your audio podcast is said you’ve really got a beautiful way of empowering men to understand this dance with their own shadow and with the shadow aspects that can really be alchemize and transmuted into power and and passion and inside and growth potential when dealing with issues that come up in all types of romantic relationships so I know you have some outlines of different sort of characteristics and aspects of the fire of Collie as its Express through your beloved when she’s in a rage. how to hold space for that so do you have a sort of wrap you want to share to give people a bit of that to incite you know what you’re describing they’re dealing with the feminine Shadow Center to the Shadows inside of you when confronted with that this has been happy in the major growth moments in my life of course you know the traditional spiritual practices of sitting down and meditating and practicing yoga and singing mattress and the lights you develop the light body but when it comes to taming you know your demon sent Tim into the deep inside of you the emotional emotional energies that are inside of you when it comes to taming that very often there isn’t much out there that teaches you how to do that so the way very often the Shadows come up or form of Shadows emerging in romantic relationships so imagine that you are a man and you meet this woman and you love her and you start having sex and you start engaging and dance Sunday you start being exposed to aspects of her being that you cannot really comprehend and that’s all going to be either hurtful she might be manipulative she might be lying to you she might be cheating on you she might be you know misleading you giving you false information you might be doing things that you know sometimes piss you off to bring you out of the center and the reason why she’s doing that on a transcendental level or within the country called next to where the fun it is because she becomes Your Shadow trainer it means that she is being used by your spirits by your life by the four that I got in your solution to help you become the full expression of what you can be so imagine that you live close to this Forest right to this tropical jungle and you don’t dare to do going to the Jungle because you have some tigers there you have some dangerous animals and that every time you want to go into this jungle you hesitate to go so this is a metaphor for what’s happening in your life there are certain aspects of your life that you try to suppress because you’re not really comfortable with the powers and the Shadows that are hidden in there so what’s a shadow training what’s a woman that you meet is going to do she’s going to take you by the hand and say come on let’s go and explore the Shadows let’s go and give it a try let’s go and see what we can find and the most women who are your Shadow trainers are not even aware of the rule that you’re playing in your life they will do things out of your instincts in offering their own needs but by doing that they are going to confront you with emotions that might be very challenging you know they can be Immortals of jealousy emotions of neediness emotions of frustration or extreme anger even raged you know and then when you’re confronted with thought you would like what’s what’s really going on and what is going on is that you need to perform your Evolution into complete your solution as a human being you need to be exposed to your shadows and find ways of mastering the Shadows so instead of taking all these romantic challenges seriously you can look at them as an experiment you can say to yourself this is just a training grounds nothing more I’m just training here to become a better person and so the moment your perspective and you see all that has an experiment a zoo life experiments you radically you know where we position yourself and stop looking at it from an interesting perspective on when you have negative emotions Rising instead of trying to run away from them you start witnessing them you start observing them start seeing how they impact on your level of power how they hurt or how to make you feel good then you allow yourself to release them your lawyer stuff to bring in sometimes new techniques in your practices to Yahoo activates the shadows and start reading mastering them the overall goal of food that is for you to become Shadow Master be a master of your Shadow rather than a slave of your shadows and see for most people go through life and every time you’re with the Shadow with you try to run away from from from it while you try to put a lid on it because Society doesn’t value to Shadows you know any motion like sadness or anger I mean if you do sound Psychotherapy maybe you you might be exposed to somebody who gives you the space to be safely exploring this this emotions but when you have a partner and you are certainly extremely sad normally tell your friends are going to sell you should not be sad you say why not why not I can be sad I can I can express the same music as I can feel them and learn from them and see where they take me where does the Sunday’s tequila where does this anger take you because it’s an interesting inspiration so you going to list in a jungle of emotions and energies and by being exposed to certain routes in those challenging Spears you are going to expand your being and what he does is is that fence your emotions potential your energetic potential instead of working with only the light side of your being you start engaging the other aspects and that’s that’s a whole new dimension to your existence traffic sense absolutely yes definitely so as you’re speaking I’m remembering through my life timeline how I use the tantric practices like you say the stuff you do in the Archer armor in your bedroom or whatever you do your personal sort of discipline of mastering your inner space and then when you go out with that conditioning into the real world and then to the the stormy world of relationships they come to your rescue with like I’ve just been able to snap right into some deep pranayama right when I need it and it’s like gives you these cushion or this buffering on reactivity so do you have some some pointers are tips there on what types of practical skills in your solo Tantra practice or or when you’re doing well with a couple like training exercises specifically to give individuals and couples tools to create that that dance space with the shadow material as it comes up unexpectedly if you know what the worst time is it so happens is that if you listen to this with you and you have been exposed to decide your shadows you might be the only wanted in your relationship who is interested in actually working on these things may be your partner are your girlfriend and a wife she might be like you know what I have no idea what you’re talking about. You cannot with you relate to that and every time you start explaining a little bit about it it’s like you lose her in some libraries that are not pretty interesting to her so very often this is going to be the situation you are going to be with the shadow trainer with the woman who doesn’t even know she said she doesn’t know the road that is playing in your life she’s just following her own thing it’s true by Fort Wayne that she’s going to to challenge you so what happens in that situation is that you will need to find techniques that you can apply to yourself only first you have to master your shadows and then try to master the Shadows that are protected within the couple the first is the wrapping techniques for yourself once you master goes techniques for yourself and eventually you can teach them to to your girlfriend to your wife but first is really in her Mastery okay so the technique that uses lots are Dynamic treating you know fire breath they are shaking their using mantras from Victoria to Cali and repeat that mantra for 5 minutes or sometimes half an hour it goes on and on and on like a psycho and I use also martial art techniques you know like punching and kicking like if you do some kickboxing is going to give enough news for these Aesthetics and some of the things that the mentioning right now they think us as being a Spiritual Development technique but you know what it is it is because you’re using something maybe the context is not sacred you know that it’s not good with when you’re at the gym and practicing that you go like well I’m just releasing I just training my body but you can really give it to certain lights vibration and the strain energy where you realize that what you’re doing is secret because it’s circulating energies and giving a channel for your Shadow Expressions so something is that I do I go about training outdoor you know I’m chugging outdoor and doing an energetic emotional release outdoor today it’s you know what’s 5 degrees Celsius outside I’m in Switzerland I just went to the lake and John brzenk Lake why do I do that because the the impact of the cold water has on your body create some form of energetic reset it’s almost like I see if your electromagnetic field just gets hit by electric shock that brings you back to a position of neutrality and it’s you know all this I think they have invoking the power of renewal in the center of them it’s what about releasing what you no longer need so if you have any motion that is trapped in your system how are you going to release it by giving that emotion channels and allowing this energy to circulate rather than being stacked in one of your check was over in some part of your body fits what about moving with Grace you know it’s it has a lot to do with was so emotional intelligence and intelligence so use that the 3D iPhone is really helpful is I sure nobody will take notes on the Dynamics of what’s Happening inside of me so I will try to explain rationalize you know have models that explain a little bit emotions that are going through so I can have some Metal Frames that give me an architecture of the Dynamics that are happening yeah yeah there is you know there is more sometimes he’s going to be in a creative floor Francis if I just discovered something and I’m super charge the battery. I might record a video and share that with with my Origins by martin-gay she will. Into into kitchen together yeah you know you can also take a pillow and Sheet pillows and ice cream like in or you go to a beach to someplace where nobody can see you and you just you just voice it you express it your voice if you scream to release the whatever anger attached is inside of you and all those techniques worksheet it’ll work or are you at with me and they are all very Dynamic techniques you know if you have been exposed to the teachings of Osho you know it’s a lot about this kind of energetic or emotional releases rather than sitting down and meditating yeah this is something something important to understand is that if you sit down and meditate to relieve intense emotions you should eat this for me it doesn’t really work because you’re trying to put a lid on it you like no one fine I’m cool know you’re not cool down and say no it’s cool I’m not feeling anything I’m not this raging you know when you’re trying to suppress it but usually that’s not with Factory because it’s like it’s as if you have a reserve of Pi are there and you’re trying to turn down to fire no call go ahead and use the fire going to learn how to play with it how to master it it’s a source of energy those are not all straight lines they’re in their winding paths and we have to follow the path if we are going to understand the person that were talking to if I’m going to understand the person I’m talking to you no hear my office is in Beverly Hills but I see people from all over there some people who were from next door there are other people who drive an hour in 2 hours to get to me so there’s no there’s no quick and simple answer about the people that I’m seeing and being a select group it’s really a Melting Pot of people and I can’t make the assumptions about who people are or unless I talk to them and that’s where I start is help me to understand you my my focus says I’m working with people is not trying to teach them though I know there are psychologist and psychotherapist who to focus on teaching people my focus is more on helping people to understand them and helping people to sort out what’s going on in their mind and how that connects to their life experience their understandings of themselves in the world of their relationships with other people and who they can be when they can’t be what to expect in the world so that’s where where I start with people is helping them to to let me know who they are and and that certainly applies with all issues about sex and sexuality and images of sex and sexuality okay well yeah thank you for that I’m feeling your your approaches it feels like if we all had that level of care and concern in and space to really create our own narratives that would be a way to solve a lot of our own problems with the bit of help so I appreciate that approach and that was kind of the sort of statistical archetypal stereotype of what’s of what how how you know several of the factors of how young men and boys are being harmed by something that they’re not that they actually end up being very uncomfortable with and want to seek help for inner creating their own sources for that there’s the nofap movement I’m not sure if you’ve heard of that but through set of what it’s coming down to is the extreme you know negative outcome of excessive use according to their own you know their own gauge of it and then if we look at I’ll just give you another kind of case study type example but the other equation for consumio young consumers of pornography young consumers erotic media getting there to leave the pornography tournament the door thank you email to talk about sexual images andronic images but that doesn’t mean that they are pouring and then it’s a question of what are the images the people are looking at you know there are there’s a lot of stereotype of those images are being filled with violence and leading to violence but that’s only a very small segment of what’s out there in the world of sexual imagery whether it’s videos or Stills and and the same thing with with rose there’s a whole world of sexual images that are all about love and are about sex being shown in very loving tender and unsatisfying ways but often that doesn’t get into the dialogue around porn was looking at the let’s say the Straight female certified sexual initiation process which happens to everyone and so a complaint that’s heard often is that you know I’m a teenage girl and all the boys are essentially behaving like they’re possessed and all they want to do is you know penetrate my anus in a way that has no real train skill or care concern or lubrication or all of the things that would be considered best practice is to explore that area and then they’re like this is a porndemic because I can’t find a young male to you know deflower me who I don’t feel really terrified by what’s going on in erotic imagination so is that something that you have had to answer questions about or deal with or confront cuz that’s the other sort of end of the spectrum of harm that’s certainly there and that then raises the question where do people get their sex education from where they get their sex education from about what’s normal and what if what they see on the internet is the only place that they are are learning about sex and that’s a very skewed you about what sex is what sex should be and there’s something about that that needs to be changed not from birth on the internet but to bring other people to to those kids education and part of part of that has to do with most of the sexual imagery that’s online is there for males and there’s not that of sexual imagery without fear for females so it certainly there but people do have to be looking for it more and for many of the boys growing up who who see sex on the internet that’s what they often might see but that doesn’t mean that that’s what’s normal and they’re also places on the internet where they can get more loving for Trails how that can be done and whatever sex acts someone might be looking for or inquiring but another part of this which I don’t want to just let Slide by under dress has to do with your talkin about the girls responses to to the boys I efforts to have sex and what they’re wanting and that has to do with what boys and girls and what adolescents grow up with about their own sexuality and what’s normal and what’s not normal and what’s okay and what’s not okay we’re still in a time when adolescents have the mindset that that boys should be the ones to initiate girl should not initiate and that puts all of the burden on on the boys and it sets up a dynamic between the boys and the girls wear and what kind of like you said the girls are saying well all he wants is to have sex and he wants to have it this way well let’s start with you all he wants is to have sex part and so why isn’t there more of an equality between boys and girls where they’re both wanting to have sex and they’re both seeing sex as something positive from an early age because the alternative is that is too kind of demon eyes the boys for wanting to have sex and the girls aren’t really wanting sex they’re just wanting to be loved and that is a whole dynamic between boys and girls between men and women that I think is really important part of all of these relationships that we need to take another look at it I mean it was addressed many years ago in certainly in the psychological literature one of the people that was looking at that was Wilhelm right back in the 30s about the sex negative view that was in society and there’s your dad still there we haven’t really gone all that far from that especially compared to how we think we’ve come miles and miles but it’s really only a few feet right like you’re saying there’s so many unspoken hidden Frameworks that are not being addressed like you know how to speak from experience when I was when I was a boy coming-of-age into my hormonal sexual self I was afraid to go up and write something on the chalkboard or point something out in the map because I had a tent pole in my pants cuz I was very turned on by the teacher or somebody else in the class and there was no masturbation room to go take care of myself at home or at school so we’re just not designing for this energy to flow through our cultures and you were living with the fear of being exposed as being a sexual / and being ridiculed for it in ways that girls never work but that’s the typical experience of growing up mail right and having as a dynamic between males and females in that very tender. Of age right so we’ve got a few minutes left I really appreciate your insights and I think I’m at a point where I feel like the way to frame this discourse is that it’s pouring is not a Public Health crisis or public health hazard sexual holistic sexuality education is in the lack thereof is the Public Health crisis and exactly more of the Public Health crisis is about sexual repression sexual oppression about teaching teaching people generally but especially teaching girls that sex is dirty and teaching girls that boys are bad for wanting to have sex that if everyone kind of grew up on an even playing field of seeing sex as positive seeing love is positive and being able to talk together about about those things to talk together about love to talk together about sex to talk together about what you want and what you don’t want and that’s okay we will be in a very different environment than we are today there is to be a new political office of a quote horns are not to be confused with torrent star that person was to be open-minded enough to take some direction and possibly offer to hire you to consult what kinds of programs designs no just outlines you know big picture thinking you know if you were to be able to be respected for what you’re saying and it is a we want to address the issue of institutionalized sexual repression in so where do we begin to unravel that not this is just that you know food for thought and I think one of the places is to redefine the title and take pouring out of the picture but it’s not about pouring it’s about sexuality and sexual acceptance and how can we how can we bring sexual acceptance into the public dialogue and into into the educational system and into into the kind of dialogue that parents have with your kids that that seems to me to be a big part of that role of Tsar do I don’t know that that’s the right term but to to change the language that we talked about these things so we’re not talking about about about it with sex negative sex by a sex pejorative kind of language that skews things from the gecko and set and sets us up to lose from the very start right to the simple statement sexual aggression is the product of sexual repression so it’s going to come out in pouring it’s going to come out on prom night all of that pent-up frustrated aggressive certified you want to call it Satanic call it Satanic whatever you want to call but you can have to bring the light to the darkness and and get some help with that so I think the case is closed and I really appreciate what we’ve accomplished in this call setting some new terms for discourse and really putting the the family and the family therapist in the community and the school teachers more in a position of of leadership than political Lake litigation legislation and political offices so what I would add to that is in terms of where you started is to encourage parents know themselves to be honest with themselves to be honest with their own prejudices and biases to be honest with their own fears to be honest with their own misconceptions so they don’t pass them along to kids and to be able to listen to kids more than they talk to kids and to be able to have a dialogue rather than a lecture with their kids and that changes the relationship between parents and kids and helps kids to grow and to feel accepted beautiful beautiful all right thank you dr. schub so much and if you want to give your contact information so people can start to seek your help sure you can find me at actor Karl subs.com that d r c a r l s h u b s or one string calm and phone number is 310-772-0520 that’s local here in Beverly Hills great thank you so much have a wonderful day take care you to thanks very much. Please go to www. R2park.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple that provide ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com Damas de

Cultural Healing with Sobey Wing TPP38

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Sobey Wing picIn this episode I’m joined by Sobey Wing, one of my personal heroes in the global transformational community. He shares his personal journey of initiation and interest in cultural healing with an accent on sexuality and relationships. We then discuss the practical application of approaching this.

Please engage with Sobey and explore the additional resources linked below:

Sobey’s services/Astrology/Ancestral Revitalization/Rites of Passage Design & Consultation
https://www.facebook.com/groups/RoPwithSobey/

Dj Services
https://www.facebook.com/DjSobeyOne/
A lover of music who enjoys crafting the perfect set for each occasion favoring events with conscious intention. A traveller of genres. Come join the ride!

Love Sex Intelligence
http://www.lovesexintelligence.org
FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/66350684635/?fref=ts
FB page: https://www.facebook.com/lovesexintelligencecommunity/

Rites of Passage Ceremonies with Sobey
http://www.sobeyone.tumblr.com
My goal is to support the renewal of rites of passage in places it is lacking

Youth Passageways
http://www.youthpassageways.org

Rain Crowe Teachings
http://callingourselveshome.weebly.com/

Center for Babaylan Studies/Babaylan Conference September 2016
http://www.babaylan.net 

Full Moon Medicine in Unceded Coast Salish Territories
https://www.facebook.com/groups/159406684415673/?fref=ts

AI Generated Transcription:
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear beloved’s welcome to Township hunt podcast episode number 38 I am joined by SOB Wing here today and we’re going to go on an exploration of his personal journey of Discovery into I would say the sexual shamanic arts and and give us some tips and some insights into the work that he does around initiation so please so if you will give us a bit of your your background narrative and then we’ll get into some of the stuff you’re doing today thank you yeah it’s pleasure to dive into a spot space and discuss some interesting areas hopefully for people listening I’ll give her by way of introduction where I am located on this Earth at this moment I am in the unseeded Coast Salish territories otherwise known as Vancouver BC and my ancestry comes from the pieces of the Philippines as it is known and also from China from what is known as France today as well as Spain I want to start off and just kind of contextualize in a way that feels congruent with my current understanding which Sean is very graduating you know there’s a graduated look at understanding things especially around something that’s close to my my thoughts all the time is around art or Colonial context so when I was naming the location where I am you know I was I was giving a reference to the Colonial context and similarly when we’re using words like Shamanism there is there something to look at there that I I think is important to not you know this anthropological referencing of a other terminology for what is known in different parts of the world by various while so many different names this is something that is is problematic in the sense that it kind of blankets a term for for something that has many different distinctions in the different cultures and when we’re looking at subjects like sexual initiation or initiation in general something that I focused a lot on which we can talk about in this conversation is you know why did we lose initiation rites and Rites of Passage and why is it that we’re not initiated into things like sexuality and adulthood in general in a way that’s is the way that our ancestors did and Soda Springs in that whole thing around colonisation in the fact that in order for society to be set up the way it is today it had to go through the established conditions and set up of societies kinship groups that were structured in and indigenous cultures around the world including European through disrupting and displacing and killing largely women who helped these roles knowledge and initiation and you know that trauma is buried within all of us you know if we want to look at the continuing wave at this wounding continues in our in our world today with all of the disharmony between between people whether you look at it on the gender binary or with you just look at it on the term of terms of disrupted or ended relationships or or or marriages and the way that emotional trauma surfaces in addiction all of those things getting at the root of it is you know to me about is the spiritual healing that is required and if we if we can get into that today that would be really I think an important contribution to this whole world of sexual healing and initiation definitely definitely so it was you want to talk about so do you like history and what got you thinking about all this stuff and breaking out of her free from these Colonial not sure instructions as a person of color you know growing up in a multicultural as it’s called kind of society a group in Toronto which is that in in in what we call Canada and so I I guess in a part of my my experience of being in that in that kind of culture we’re on some level you know our diversity of cultures is embraced but at the same time or two play embedded in and still are you no white supremacist centered culture you know where the the values and the economics and and just the socio-economics favor you know why culture and not in in the way of saying you know European descent based culture and so you know I didn’t have all the understandings of this but what I experienced was just that you know I didn’t really feel like I I I fit in unless I can forms to certain standards and also I grew up in a Roman Catholic Family and for awhile School and so the hetero Norms around sexuality were pretty pronounced and you know at the same time very blank in terms of like what what is therefore I’m having an awareness around sexuality and I’ll bring in this this posturing in the astrological contacts cuz that’s also something that I’m I steep myself in as an astrologer is she not being a Scorpio Sun sexuality in a big part of my identity and understanding of myself is 3. And so without any of that I had to seek other sources of understanding and so quickly you know this is all free internet you know my my searching for self-knowledge definitely included a lot of like you know going through libraries going through bookstores whenever or something on my radar picked up you know around around you know something around sexuality and spirituality I know I just I had that sense that there was a connection there and and so that’s that’s part of it I guess yeah and that would include me of the occult and I will conclude what was you know Neo Shamanism or Neo Tantra all of those things on talk quickly into my my site and this is for lack of having Elders having teachers that are connected to a lineage that I’m connected to so I’ve had to sort of do the circular route of you know Finding what’s out there and I think that’s probably common to so many people and I’m also of the the generation of the Pluto and Libra generation so you know I feel like that’s kind of part of our generational work is also know a lot of us in this generation have not had the strongest success in in Partnership there’s a lot of divorce rates in and just you know not having easy harmonization and this is you know where I think part of that has the word where we’re generation that maybe has to heal some of those those ones that I’ve been talking about and also seek out new ways to approach so this is all so I think how I perhaps started discovering the alternative routes to relationship and which is an ongoing process but I discovered there’s more to life than the monogamous lens and is even more ways to approach monogamy then there is just on a standard you know christian-based kind of understanding would it be right to say that you’ve been involved in search of activism or Community work being a in-service and and taking your own personal study and applying it into the context of organizations or campaigns and and whatnot were you would get to apply this stuff beyond your personal practice and personal relationships and if so what some of the the highlights of that Journey my first my first step into activism that I recall was in Toronto with a group this is again before the internet so you know connecting people was a way of connecting myself to other people so I got involved with a group called hands which is helping after this network during strife and that gave me a Insider look cuz I was delivering these calendars weekly to to the to all the activist that were connected to that Network in Toronto so gave me a window into what was going on on multiple levels of activism at the same time I was I had dropped out of regular high school and entered into an alternative school called some seed alternative which was sort of the flagship has been the flagship of alternative schools in Toronto and not really influence my philosophy of of learning to the stay a credit thought that experience where we looked at education as a school Without Walls you know that learning occurs where it went where it happens even if you’re learning while you’re sleeping in a dream for instance that counts as knowledge that we can and not that really inspired me to bring that framework I’m into alternative settings and that could include for sure Rave culture which is now become Festival culture and I I think also that I love dancing and I saw that there was you know some form of community that could shape itself there when I when I began it it was really kind of a fledgling kind of sense of community around dance culture but I was exposed to an event where ritual and and dancing was brought together and Equinox and it was led by a I wish you had a curandera family lineage so she was confusing all of these elements and it just took it took God took my psyche by I am you know what really got me really inspired and I look at you know how I gone from there and I you know I helped certified bring this this connection between learning and and dance culture together I’m in a way which seems very normalize now but at the time you know I don’t I don’t think there was any of that happening and it’s it’s something where we don’t have to conform to as many rules you know when it comes to doing what we want to do that you would see in the institutions so I see it as a working within the margins workshops and you do teachings in and trainings in presentations throughout the world do you want to talk a bit about what you since you were kind of initiated in that way to Sacred dance music and intentional Sacred Space design and ceremony ritual design in your own expressions yeah you know I think again with my my kind of rearing and alternative education through your seed I really got the gist of how you know if you want to learn something a great way to do it is to group together other people who are interested in learning the same thing and so you know even right now I owe I don’t claim myself to be any kind of expert but I am adapt and Creative Learning environments and learning Ben Cardin part of learning networks has become sort of my staple so as my I remember one of my first workshops that I led was with a graduating body of friends from seed who went on a our own self created right of passage on to the east coast and and habitat Schoolhouse a historic Schoolhouse that had been the domain of various artists and writers in the posturing 70s that was already kind of reverberating with the creative Energies and I was inspired to do a workshop on creating ritual and so that was my very first workshop and then you know I was really inspired by the work of Antero Alli who wrote Angel Tech of modern shamans God’s reality selection you know and if so that was you know kind of a something that I felt could be really conducive to the Rave culture you know that I think we were really not able to access that kind of language and also the 8th circuit model of intelligence know to fuel Erie and so that was something that we incorporated into our dance Community early on with something called Sunday school which result that you know kind of like a a play on the religious use of that term and kind of over over covering that with you know our own version of like reclaiming our own identities spiritually and you know with our own knowledge that we want to bring in and a lot of things kind of seem to emerge out of that I like a lot of people have participated in that began to take on their own path as teachers whether it be sacred dance or harm reduction things like that and and harm reduction speaking of that it’s something that also kind of pertains to this discussion because in our dad’s, Community which was you know suffering under the weight of a lot of addiction and time and people that were you know masking trauma with with drug use in the Rave culture it was a I think a important response that was made to identify that having tools with how to provide education and awareness around safer use of the substances from harm reduction philosophy which goes along with you no safer sex practices that are on now part of that. Kind of culture also kind of lets you more openings for people to talk openly about their relationships and sexuality and so that was kind of the the birthplace for what we now are doing in our local community called love sex intelligence was the sun groupings of friends in our houses and just creating these discussion circles where we could openly share some of our upper process around navigating relationship and non-traditional ways and that’s when we started also bringing other people who might you know share some modalities used to help us improve our communication or learn something more about working with sexuality and that started to spread into Gatherings until Retreats into and into festivals and that’s all as he say it has some has traveled to other other parts of the world it’s not not the only thing I’ve had focused on so some of my quibble travels have focused on other areas but but I have done a love sex intelligence Workshop in Australia for instance it’s just amazing to to see how what empowers us here has you know impaired people there as well assume so that do you feel pretty well cut up to the present moment as far as the the life history and background and then if so we can go into some of the tips and practical how to do stuff sure you’ve sure okay cool will get a thank you again that that was beautiful Journey that I got to to go on with you there and it’s a I have similar you know to put in a couple of bits in my own background I I I spent most of my you know coming-of-age years and you know from I guess about 12 to 33 the house about 20 years FM seeking being a Seeker but experiencing initiations through the DIY punk rock and Uncle punk in metal grindcore World which has disliked deep tension of striving towards holism and healing and empowerment yet having very very unexamined Shadow especially through just extreme mostly alcoholism and in an access and and then just look at my personal Evolution from going from the mosh pit to the psytrance dance for experience and looking at the deformed geometry of people who are wasted and unconscious and just smashing into each other to to the shark the stark contrast the people who are not everybody and of course it has its shadow to but from you is night and day to go into the psytrance you know world and be like wow there is energy that’s circulating here with the Psychedelic medicines in the plant medicine is where people are not just bumping into each other wasted they’re actually creating sacred geometrical forms and surrendering to this Divine Shakti kind of healing energy and it’s creating a much more uplifting vibration that I could very much see how it identify was so I’m kind of a but that’s just for me just within the last few years so I got a lot of catching up to do to the people who’ve been in that world for much longer and I just want to thank you cuz if you’re you know yeah it sounds like you were part of the lineage that has brought this salvation into MiFi thank you for that and give you that little bit of back of myself but so moving into the something that you you do some some work if I understand correctly some of your professional livelihood work is is education sexual sexuality education and bringing some of these initiatory technologies that you’ve discovered into that world so could you talk a bit about what you do in that in that says space yeah okay so when we talk about you know professional or I don’t know like you know what we’d get you know how to identify the work that we do or place its values at what we get paid to do chores what we do just without being asked to get paid enough so a lot of this work I would say is you know by nature of what it is as in as I was saying before as in the marginalized safe spaces that are created through other things like Gatherings that are already happening you know I don’t have to go through that hole you know system knots wooden props judge some of these things so I think there’s kind of a harkening back to the way it was in that this kind of knowledge was safeguarded after contacts you know like a lot of the indigenous healing Traditions or however we want to call it you know how to be a sort underground and so I I say that’s kind of reflected in how we how I approached this kind of thing even though you know today will will will post the events publicly on Facebook and things like that there is still a ring to it that is about you know not waiting for us to be given our our approval by by Society you know we just know that it’s important so we do this and and so like I’ve been doing this constantly one of my goals that I set out of certain point was that at least you know once a year there would be a community gathering around love sex intelligence and the rest of the time you know we haven’t online for him but very important for that hole project has been and which we’ve stepped it up in the recent months to make sure that hopefully like every month we can do something is to to say that the community around learning about how to how to harmonise our relationships how to defend our sexuality into something that is you know how uplifting our spiritual path is something that needs to be done you know with with with more support and so that’s why it’s it can’t just functioning online capacity so that’s something I’ve committed to we have we’ve been actually our next event is focusing squarely on sexual initiation I’m pink resented by someone named ya Lila Espinoza is looking at how to tweeze mower practices that she learned in Peru you know have informed around healing and and then creating her own initiation but yeah I also you know as an astrologer I work with people and often it is around relating I’ve done a little bit of like you know support for people I think what happens is you know when when you become a central figure in any given Community people will come to you when they’re in crisis and this is what has informed my my the work that I do around you know Rites of Passage is responding to crisis from a place that seeks to get to the root of what is causing the crisis which in so many cases is that there is a lack of of support and people therefore will resort to self initiation just something I’ve had to do in my own life and and see it so much the case for some of the other people and there’s another psychological shifts that occur when people an emotional shift that occur when people feel a sense that they’re being held that they are being that they can fit they can let go and have a safe space to go into those wounds and begin working on them and of course it would help if we had a little more guidance and how to do that but thought comes over over time you know we have to work from where we’re at and so that’s something that I’ve been in in the my own process of of my own work around here figuring what those things are with those tools are and Tom yeah like I said I’m not an expert but I can at least Point people in some directions I guess what we’re looking at here is that there’s an underground space very intentional underground space that is more conducive to kind of freestyling or rolling your own ceremony and just holding the light and and letting those who it call who are called to it you know it would become integrated into keep it at the gala Therrien and flowing so that you don’t have cult of personality and politics and all of the scenester Hipster things coming in and that’s always up in it and he has to be on guard against and whatnot so I see there’s that unfoldment in that development and then there’s people who are also working like stay in the social work field who are informing their peers and colleagues in those sectors with these Neo shamanic techniques or nonviolent communication or your where it’s legal and accessible and permissible you know legally again to be able to put people on amor I guess like prisons prison you Lila has a very and I’ve done some I interviewed her in the past and I’m a big fan of what she’s doing and I know she has a strong background in clinical social work and is feeding back into that sector the wisdom of of the Amazon and and Beyond and so is that something that you have I just thought I remember reading somewhere you know or talk to you at some point about how this is this is like you could be hired by the more formal above ground and sectors of social work or Community work with where you can be brought in to bring some of the stuff that would normally be or I guess it’s just that it’s a very interesting Cutting Edge of an intersection and I if I’m not mistaken that’s that you you are like sort of partially in that world 2 of of social work or is that something I understand correctly yeah I’ll I will string this conversation back and see where where I where I am placed social work as well as all the modalities of counseling and healing you know like they are all part and parcel to supporting and upholding status quo capitalist system so I’m going to like you know like you know also haven’t been in the punk scene also had a big enough impact on my my party now 13 m in terms of healing these wounds we have to look at that and I we can’t we can’t say like that are healing is going to be independent of the world that is reeling and suffering from the continuation of this system as it is and so that’s where for me like bringing capitalism into the equation is is something that’s real tricky it’s something that I feel needs to be kind of understood. You know we we can’t just rely on having sting services that we can pay for because that creates a gap you know where some people are going to have accessible abilities to to the healing and others won’t and that’s that’s not healthy for anyone and and also that it doesn’t address the root cause of why we need social workers to begin with and why we need counseling and all of that so I really like the notion of cultural healing that’s where more where I would be comfortable in any way kind of looking at myself as any kind of healer I don’t think we we can really heal individuals that’s really something that you know a person will need to and it’s not like they can be facilitated to do their own healing work but nobody can fix us we have to fix ourselves that’s that’s more I think a more powerful Paradigm to be apart of but you know I I I have worked in the realm of I focused therapy and you know I have spent quite a bit of time around the spirit plant medicines and seeing how the plant medicines have assisted and I do I do continue continuously work to increase my knowledge and wisdom around working with us plants and and that also brings us back into that hole realm of discussion around you know ancestors and working with them or perhaps that’s something we haven’t really touched upon but maybe she said it’s just that in any form of healing that we do I guess for me the important thing that I really try to bring into whatever I do connecting back with her ancestors and healing the trauma of how we were disconnected from those ancestors and how that plays out in any kind of sexual wounds or emotional wounds that we carry and so that’s something that I I I feel like the role of initiation and ritual can can really do and that’s that’s been its Province ever since people began doing patrols I think it’s to build upon the legacy of their ancestors and to draw and their their help and support cool said that yeah thank you for helping me understand the other parameters a little better and and 100% there with you I have I have been because I live in the United States where there’s different laws around no prostitution in in how that affects the healing with sexual touch and pleasure as medicine and stuff like that is a lot more yes I understand in in Canada there’s there’s a lot more interesting legal space in order to do Hands-On Sexual Healing work relative to the US where it’s completely off limits in so I because of that adapting to that reality and also is a permaculture designer myself I have to think very deeply about how to navigate this issue of for-profit healing work that kind of in most sectors is about like you said I’ll put in my own words it’s like they want to know if if the if you’re at a time of time robot that supposed to be producing a set amount to be a productive member of the of the GDP then then if you’re not functioning properly than the the goal of the mainstream social work or psychotherapeutic or psychiatric Fields they’re trying to get you back into the rat race as soon as possible and they’ll do that with drugs with talk therapy or whatever that is about avoiding through tissue which is the disconnection from urethane from a healthy holistic wild habitat you know a night as a primitivist I see that you know the solution to your Neurosis is to retry belies and Get Growing your own food again in and rebuild that fabric so you know there with you on that tension about right livelihood in and taking money for healing and what is he doing so I really like what you said and that just is going to it’s going to help me a lot looking at healing the cultural level and healing the if I’m understanding right and I’ll put a couple my own words on it but I feel like we’re trying to build the scaffolding or were trying to design the context for people to take the responsibility of a personal healing and gone to that journey and so if you if what would you say are some practical skills are tools from all of your things that you would teaching and training and a things that you discovered in your own journey to where you’re in power tools for empowerment that you suggest or are resources that you suggest people Explorer to if they’re called to do the cultural healing work weather for profit or non-profit. Some dance between the two or it and then what what are some recommendations for people who are on their own path and aren’t necessarily called to do the the cultural healing yeah I mean it’s it’s a pretty vast subject that one but I think that a few points that I could think about and talk about our that I’m going to this idea of bringing you back in the station rights and recognizing that in the absence of them what do we have you know we are we are sadly in there without initiated Elders so many of us and if there are any of Elders that hold that ability to to guide those those ones are those are worth their weight in gold you know there really is people that we should try to lift up and and give them their recognition and see you know and then in the absence of that it’s like we kind of by default Our Generations people that will have to hopefully fulfill that and reach a place where we can actually help upcoming generations to go in a way that they don’t have to completely go it alone and and figure it out on them on their own the way that so many of us have had to and so there is a movement around Rites of Passage I sit on the board if you passageways which is a network that focus is squarely on you no Rites of Passage for you coming of age from all different walks and and and modalities you know some of them are our Boys to Men oriented some of them are girls to women some of them are starting to incorporate non gender binary kind of approaches as well which is good and and this whole focus on bringing back the ancestors into looking at Rites of Passage is is starting to happen and something that I focused on and so that’s that’s a resource you know people can go to youth passageways. Oregon and look at what programs are out there and they can also think about how they can add to that list and bring in things that are needed around especially around sexuality and relationship which is often I noticed kind of a big gap in a lot of programs out there you know because they’re confined confined or constrained by the conservative values where they take place and you know what school system is you know this is one of those places lagging for that kind of thing so it’s a role that I think that many people who understand the need can step into and cultivate as career paths you know and some people are pig figuring out how they can weave their credentials says on Sexual Health Educators or sexual therapist or sexual trauma or no trauma-based therapists you know into this realm of initiation and that’s that needs to happen on a on an increased level the other I see a lot of because of what I was saying around looks really don’t how many Avenues to learn other than through you know what the books in the workshops and offerings around sexuality thoughts unfortunately are not rooted in in people’s only need two lineages generally speaking you know so the whole Tantra movement is pretty much so you know a cultural appropriator of New Age fight version of those Traditions that would have been squashed by Christianity especially and so I think there’s work to be done there and as much as possible Retreat retrieving reconstructing are reconnecting with our own ancestral Traditions which I’m sure you know had their own knowledge wisdom around how to how to raise healthy harmonious individuals with healthy sexualities from from the vantage point of how what little I do know has been has been done in indigenous cultures and without wanting to appropriate for them from them I’ll just give way of examples out of that you know in and certain cultures that are studied like the Mayan culture and I think to some degree on certain places within Creek culture there’s examples of how as societies you know that the children are raised from an early age 2 reach a point where they understand how to how to harmonize with the other sex and how to to look after each other and that’s just a very basic principle that I feel like you know that’s that’s worth kind of learning how to integrate into our family structures if we have children that were raising just to keep in mind that you know there is a need for them to learn skills around things like consent and around being responsible with with one’s sexual energies and and I needs to start before they reach that age of adolescence where they’re just harder to connect with if you haven’t built up that Foundation so that’s something that I think about will do you so if I if if we check out that the organization that you mention is it would that be good place to find and something like a more enlightened or more conscious like sexual education curriculum or guidebook do you know if people were working on something like that so if I know if you know parents who were going through the puberty of their child that they have something that’s not just this cold clinical Western and even though that sort of evolving a little bit you know with things like a sack didn’t and whatnot I see a lot but the The ancestral wisdom and you know the ceremonial Rites of Passage you know how does it how does the Modern Family say okay well you’re about to start feeling you know hormonal Energy’s how do we give you know create even if it’s just within their family or their Community yoga or whatever is something more than what’s being offered in the normal sex ed or what they’re listening in gangster rap music and watching on sitcoms obviously you know it’s enough for lack of lot of alternative options it’s one one place to look and we’re always looking for others so whenever we discover something then we will see to auditory resources and we are trying to vet those resources and those organizations to make sure that they really are you know at least there’s some some level of you know safe recommendation that we can give for those those organizations we’re not we’re not in the position to really kind of completely you know set standards but we are trying to we have a code of what we call it a cross-cultural protocol so we do look at that aspect that you have for what we’re talking about that’s you know if that’s another layer that we will hopefully get to eventually and I do know that there are people within our Network who are really strongly focused on this particularly around girls to women kind of education and and Rites of Passage and some of the Boys to Men once but I think it’s also something we need to to enhance as well oh that’s great yeah that’s that’s that’s what I wanted to hear so that I can just refer people to this ongoing and so and then the LSI is kind of its there’s a Facebook I’ve been interacting with the the Facebook group for a while so is that something you recommend people plug-in I mean that’s the goal of that is to feature blogs and generate discussions from those blogs and also to establish a resource of services as well as information and so that’s you know running on in a very limited volunteer capacity and so you know it’s something that I hope will eventually become a very powerful resource but already it’s you know it’s been feedback that I’ve received that you know even just the the group that we have on Facebook somebody posted recently. You know it’s really help them in their in their path which is nice to hear and I’ve heard that a few times and I try to curate that group in such a way where it’s like you know it’s trying to generate discussion and it’s it’s trying to be a safe space where where people can get into some of those I’m intimate revealing is of what what’s going on in their lives one of the things that kind of came out of love sex intelligence local as a connection with Tamara and the love school that they have which is a very congruence philosophy to love sex intelligence and they’re their work to try to create or with to create safe spaces for people to to share stories of what’s going on in their intimate lover sexual lives and and B witnessed in a way that is non-judgemental where they’re not being flooded with advice but more just being witnessed which is kind of connected to that whole framework for Rites of Passage itm witnessing each other and so it’s it’s trying to also look at how you know communities can succeed in their in their goals which might include you know like being more sustainable or being an alternative to the systems around us and also being a part of a more peaceful kind of culture through filling this hole that is often where things go wrong where people are are are not feeling safe to talk about these these human experiences around wounding around are our hearts and our sexuality so I’ve been part of a Practice Group here that has been circulating also to other parts of BC and I think it’s a really it’s a really powerful movement to be a part of yeah we’re getting close to an hour or so I have to take a few more minutes and I’m get a couple thoughts and feelings some responsible for 1 something that his is coming up for me that I think it’s really empowering is this like idea that wouldn’t it be nice if some of us started to think of ourselves as aspiring Elders I’ve never thought of it that way until this conversation and there’s a little spark of joy and me that that says you know puts in context the the punk rock lifestyle that I had of live fast Die Young and just you know if it’s not throwing yourself into the meat grinder of insurrectionary activism you know with this sort of Death Wish you know this martyr complex or whatever it’s like those are really unsustainable archetypes to follow and they leave a lot of people when they get to my age in about 35 like in a sort of existential crisis that will the revolution didn’t happen and I didn’t get killed I didn’t die in the gutter you know I mean what am I going to do now and it’s like well maybe it’s time to become an aspiring Elder and you know clean up your act and and then start to think about how you’re going to make it easier cuz I there’s a lot of things that I had to go through that I would seriously love to have no one else ever have to go through and if you know if we can live in that. you know that is what you’re supposed to think that I think of you say you know you can you can learn from the wisdom of Elders who have gone through and made the mistakes that you’re probably going to go through or you can just be hard-headed and learn all your lessons the hard way but I mean we’ve had to learn a lot of hard lessons in the absence of the eldership but I think if we take on that there’s a yeah me too. It seems obvious but really the way you put it his medicine for me to think you know it’s a dignified path to be an aspiring Elder and then it makes you not be so how do I can help you defeat that that that grinding pressure that oh my I’m going to lose my looks and I’m going to lose my energy and I’m going to be in the state of deprecation towards death and that’s very much the greatest fear of the western manicured Uno photoshopped airbrushed identity like you’re not really giving any hope that aging will be of any benefit in here just marginalized further and further so I thank you for that serve very much still give that time sacred eldership dignity not a light title to hold I think the true Elder wouldn’t really feel comfortable in it cuz it’s defining attributes of an elder that is really one that can help that role be the best it can be is one that is is really accountable is really present isn’t so on the move that if you can’t you know be relied upon to be there for the people that it serves now needs to ideally be in the in the fellowship of other Elders to kind of keep it in in in check in a way like we have to watch for the Cole group kind of phenomenon where people you know place a lot of weight on that person and in a way that can privilege them in certain ways and also lead to potential like power distortions and things like that you know it’s it’s only human that people will make mistakes and so having that kind of accountability of other people and also that time yeah you have people heart or a different there’s always like in every phase of life with the lifecycle there’s there’s like the maturing phases and so there’s like you know there’s a baby elder there’s enough adult Elder and then Senior Elder and so it’s just we have to learn at each stage of Life how to become the mature version of what that stage is and says just something to think about as well and it’s good to to get your feet wet early on in life so that you know we can have deep roots and and the and those are the kinds of people to like in the Tamara situation out of the black community they have a circle of Elders who are basically people who have grown with a community enough that they know the people in their community and then they serve a role as potential kind of like the Matchmaker but you know in a way where people can approach them in and ask them like you know I’m interested in this person and they can help you assess whether this is the right time or what is a good or bad idea and you know they can kind of that. Whole courtship in a way that you know really I think I wish there were more of those people around here don’t you let me relax you know learn the hard way what does that we’re just not compatible certain people in The Matrix the I mean yeah I’m not I’m not a political scientist of the Matrix but I will say that what got me peaked on the ecstatic trance dance group ritual ceremony festival thing was it really when I saw I think it was maybe the second movie or maybe it was the second or the third but there was a scene where they’re just getting down to like Juno Reactor I think was a soundtrack of a butt there is something beautiful about seeing the different the warrior culture Guided by elders and of course there’s different the archetypes playing out in Conflict split that to me was took it further than then the Star Trek Federation is a futuristic Elder guided Council guided kind of reality so that was kind of fun but yeah so that’s what came to mind when you’re at we’re talking about that be so cool if you’re early sexual oracle’s who you go to you know if we’re going to give you insights and maybe even have name your child for you or something cool like that you know be so cool but right on then will I worry about at the hours so do you have any closing touch you want to share or any other resources or should we just I’ll post the the links that you mention and I’ll definitely encourage people to stay informed and keep an eye out for your anything coming up you have any appearances or anything exciting like that coming up you want to mention I think yeah I think I covered a lot of it and I just wanted to maybe plant a seed while I have the airwaves here about something that I’d I’d eventually like to work on presenting which is around insert Intercultural relationships and also decolonizing our relationships as well and just thinking about how how we can heal some of these ancestral traumas and use that has as as a means to strengthen our relationships and also our society right on I’ll be looking forward to everything that you’re you’re expressing in the world and I hopefully yeah maybe sometime in the future we can talk about skill sets for Beyond Christian monogamy that would be a great topic so yeah how would you feel about that maybe we can sometime in the next few months follow up with something like that. Maybe by the by the time I’ll have more of a personal lived experience to a base conversation around that I think you know in terms of people who are already I don’t know how many listeners here are on a Christian spiritual path without that many but if the energy and gnosticism and sacred marriage not going to the alchemical top in the in the Gnostic tradition but I I wouldn’t make any claims to be an expert in that area but it’s definitely something to look at cool alright then we will be in touch and will follow up sometime in the future and thank you so much so be I really enjoyed it and I know it’s taking us a while to get this to get this done but I think it was perfect and I couldn’t ask for anything more so you have a wonderful day. Take care and keep for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and if you want a podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been at Contra Punk. Com Thomas Day

Sacred Yes Sacred No with David Bruce Leonard TPP31

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tp-david-bruce-leonard-picIn this episode we discuss David’s work at the Earth Medicine Institute where he provides healing programs that incorporate both the loving arts and the martial arts. We then discuss some of the ethics and dangers of sexual healing work followed by an overview of some of the  benefits of and precautions  for the practice of semen retention.

David’s Bio:
David Bruce Leonard is a deep ecologist, body-worker, Qigong practitioner, acupuncturist, martial artist, and plant lover. He has studied medicine with teachers in Asia, North and South America, and Hawai’i. David believes that our health and the meaning of our lives are inseparable from our interactions with the natural world. He has worked in a bank, done marine whale research, and has been seen in public attempting to dance Argentine tango.

David is available for workshops and consultations in the creation of men’s groups and support circles. Private coaching sessions for men or couples are available. He can be reached via his website www.EarthMedicineInstitute.com.

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin okay so David Bruce Leonard at the Earth medicine Institute how are you doing today welcome to the tundra Punk podcast well I’m baby myself pretty well all right all right well I was introduced to your work by a dear friend of mine and I I’ve been looking at your website and excited about all the books that you’ve done and I’m very new to you and all of your great works in the world but I’m very excited I think you’re doing a lot of the stuff that I aspire to be doing in my my pets so if you don’t mind give us a kind of some background how did you get to where you’re at now and spend as much time as feels natural and then we’ll go from there and talk about some of the specifics I mean like you I’m very interested and sacred sexuality and also self-defense I think a lot of those pieces were War because I was beating up a lot of the kid so ocean traumatized as a young man and well later on when I’ve always been sort of sexually precocious when I ended up in high school I I just part of my shadow and part of whatever you want to call that there’s a part of me that really wanted to be loved and accepted by girls when I started dating so I kind of fell into that and then became very interested and sacred sexuality and eventually that became clear that was a piece of piece of shadow in the shadows the parts of ourselves you don’t want to look at it so I started doing some work with that part of myself and began writing and it’s been an ongoing process awesome so you’re in what you’re not one of the Hawaiian Islands right now so and then do you have a dwelling at that Institute site is it that works no actually I take care of my mom so I’m in on Maui and my mom is elderly and I lived with her and take care of her I’m just here for her so I want us to be as good as I can make them awesome awesome it’s so that the facility is you have like a like a Healing Center and Training Center kind of Temple Sacred Space or no we do not miss is here depending on which island them on cuz I teach on on Kauai and Maui and the big island and Oahu so this place is I use on Maui as different facilities and places on the big island and on Kauai and Oahu also but no I’m kind of medicine Institute we have been different instructors on different islands and and then when I travel I also you know I teach another places also oh that’s cool yeah I’m actually I’m really looking into and considering that kind of more of a flexible kind of gypsy model for instruction and holding in creating space for especially the darker kind of Shadow work I don’t know if this is something that you’ve encountered or that you’ve considered but there is I guess I would say for my personal experience there’s there’s a lot of potential liability when you’re opening up these deep wounds and people and you just never know what kind of support they’re going to need you can try to be very supportive but I feel like a lot of drama and personality conflicts and issues and liabilities can accumulate in one fix location I don’t know if that’s something that’s like a factor that you consider or or do not the sacred sexuality week each is erotic body work but it’s talk to couples so I don’t actually do erotic body work on clients that’s not part of what I do I train couples to work on each other I’m so in some ways that’s what it mitigates a lot of the liability because I don’t do I don’t do any erotic touching people I know people do when I think it’s fine work is just not what I choose to do Andy self-defense work is is it is an already existing system called Fast offense which I I began to learn about the roots of that back in the mid-80s and I’ve been tracking it ever since and I become certified in that a few years ago and said that work is already very established and is actually very little liability with a self-defense piece huh yeah so mostly I like right now I’m working on a series of of instructional video tapes for couples so they can learn to do a rouse work on each other so the work itself code can be therapeutic I mean theoretically it’s therapeutic if it’s done with couples but I don’t work as a therapist with people who been traumatized sexually that not with the erotic Body Works and ends with the self-defense would you work with that Banda legal issues with a picture right it’s a very tricky work and we have to be extremely squeaky-clean specialist men doing this work so right right will this is against is so exciting for me to hear that you’re bringing these two worlds together because I feel like every time I start to open my mouth as myself a sexual abuse Survivor and you know a victim of different forms of non-sexual physical emotional violence building the sacred Warrior Peaceful Warrior masculine archetype within myself as a as a response to buy wounding every time I start talking about that with people who are more on the the new age sort of trip they get sort of shut down to order they get very hostile to it because it’s it’s bringing in you know the notion of fighting in combat in and that’s something that they would just rather iick neglect or ignore as part of the reality that were in and and I think that’s not really holistic good for trail in the world you know the wonderful and beautiful and peaceful place and it can be a very violent dangerous place and we ignore either one of those possibilities that are parallel that created the work that fast was originally part of service model mugging which was created by a man than that Thomas he created fast because he was sexually assaulted as a repeatedly in an orphanage and that was how all of this work came about so I think it and I think it would take somebody like that who’s been through hell and back and come out the other side to really create something as brilliant as well as what we the now in the past offense so I can totally see why you’re doing the work and you know why I do the work and one that created the the self-defense work right eye I was exposed to his material when I listen to something it was called the self-defense Show podcast and I don’t know it’s been defunct for years I don’t even know if it’s still available online but they interviewed him and I heard that years ago and I was totally stoked on it and I picked up his book defend yourself I think it still hurts very good yeah it’s filled with those you know the powerful statistics and yet his story would just bring you to tears and and I have always since I have known about the adrenal stress response training in the model mugging and all this revolutionary scientific street self-defense combat kind of restructuring martial arts to a more practical indirect kind of format I was very have been very excited about it I haven’t myself been able to access the certification training but you want to talk a little bit about exact or actually go into detail going to death why is the fast combatives different than going to a a karate in a dojo years and there’s nothing like this work that I’ve ever seen it’s a it’s a combination of it’s in some ways it’s a huge it’s a it’s a ceiling in Sacred Space ritual disguised as a self-defense class let me back up a little bit because I have a belief or an observation that trauma is created in a hide rental in state and pretty much all that I can imagine is created and that that state is imprinted on a body in that biochemical response in adrenal response I believe there are two ways to address or two more than two ways for the two ways that I can think of off the top of my head that might be effective in addressing trauma one is to recreate the adrenalized state in Sacred Space and give them give the body a different physical outcome which is what we doing fast wee wee is scenario-based so we will recover after a lot of work a lot of preparation we will recreate a situation that was originally very traumatic we recreate the state in the person going through it and then we allow we train them to move their body in a way that I believe rewires the limbic system if it takes on a new imprint around that it basically because of trauma is like a tape Loop like a record that skips for those of us that are old enough to remember records that keeps repeating and if it’s as it is playing in the background in our bodies and it often creates a kind of hyper-vigilance it really kind of drives the bus of Our Lives when we recreate the original trauma and give the body a different outcome it’s I believe it is changes the set point of the trauma and let’s the trauma take a backseat is still there you know but it no longer drives the bus are you familiar with Peter Levine’s work no he was a book called waking the tiger and he does the exact same kind of work only cycle more psychological song about self-defense the same thing with people have been traumatized in a sacred container and then gives the body a different physical outcome to the trauma that we do the same thing in mankind project which is a men’s initiation project group I’ve been involved with will take again a traumatic situation we we recreate a scenario and then with allowing the full physical force in the body to give a different outcome to that to that trauma I believe it changes the set point in the nervous system and allows people to integrate what happened better right right well yeah so kind of even though it’s not therapy it’s a form of therapeutic work that it’s disguised as a self-defense class and then the other way I think that one can do that his can treat trauma is again in the Sacred Space but in a very parasympathetic relax space a meditation space which would be sacred sexuality and I find you no different people gravitate towards different forms of that I also see what kinds of amazing things you can do if we are willing to step back through our our integrity work as man and create a container or space that other people which other people can heal I think it’s incredibly powerful Rite Aid instructor for 18 years he created fast because he he’s so well he left he left model mugging his do some political issues that he decided he would rather not deal with which I think was a good move on his part and he really Innovative so he took model mugging which is originally for solid days of tranny they turned it into a 4-Hour class and honestly Bill him as well as being a very dedicated Warrior genius he took the the model mugging work any concentrated concentrated it added men to the mix of men can also in this work and added weapons and really kind of brought model mugging and Matt’s work into the 21st century and said what we do is we you know I have a suit I have people I work with female instructors and then the female instructor is just as important as the male instructor because she is the the voice that she is not the healthy voice the voice of the healthy healthy feminine in the woman so when the scenario is going on she’s always behind the woman she’s always giving her information feedback guiding her when when women after they’ve taken the class when they have been assaulted and their body goes into autopilot in the statistics are incredible like the statistics of it’s like 99.5% of the people to go to the class when faced with a physical violent altercation when he’s women against rape powerful men they win they say they can hear the woman’s voice in their head going through it so yeah so we do so the female structure is just as important as the mailing is the guy you know people think it’s about the suit and it’s not really about the students about the teaching modalities in the pedagogy that is involved in rear I believe rewiring people’s limbic systems awesome yes this is a conversation ever wanted to have for a long time and I’ve I’ve actually kind of on a low budget adapted what I know of these principles certainly not using the name or selling it but just with my own no dating partners and friends you know whoever I meet I’m going to give him a can of pepper spray and explain to him how to properly deployed and how to how to hold it and when to have it ready for deployment in and if we you know hit the pads and do some some striking techniques on the pads and then I’ve just got myself a motorcycle helmet and some knee pads and actually found it with that where where are you where are you normally in the LA area Los Angeles I’m do some training would be fun it’s really good just really awesome you know that when is martial artist you know we like to think you know where NC techniques and stuff and then I’m not talented but I’ve been training a long time and like a three-year-old you know everybody know how talented they are kind of comes unglued around adrenal stress cuz we’re not used to yeah do you want to talk a little bit about that or what you want first if I’m going to say for all of the things were talking about regarding the fast combatives to me at it I’m seeing it in my mind’s eye because I’ve watched the videos and night and I’m an Enthusiast of it but to put the picture together for people who haven’t seen that do you want to come to describe what a minute or two of the of the takedowns and the we bring people into a container of salt container depends on this is just women sometimes it’s women and men and we teach them body language in queuing how to deescalate situations 90% of the fast work is about D escalating a situation so that it doesn’t go to a violent confrontation and they don’t have a lot of statistics and techniques and not but it is reasonably simple once you learn how to avoid a violent confrontation and get home safe and Alive you know once that so we do that we teach body language cueing what creditors look for in situations how to see violence situations when they’re on the way and avoid them and if there is a verbal confrontation how did the Escalade that confrontation I think the stats that bill gives is that I think seventy or eighty percent of assaults on women are done with only verbal intimidation no physical intimidation no exit by intimidation but 90% of verbal confrontation scan BD escalated or maybe higher with just words alone and it’s a matter of body language and what were putting out to the world that’s what we teach first cuz obviously you know if we can avoid violence that’s the best option I was just watching a video the other day and he said he said the speaker said violence is a last resort but when it raised our Resort is the only Resorts the only choice violence is always the last choice but when it is our choices becomes the only choice and that I believe that’s what we do in fast so once it’s clear there is absolutely no way to avoid a violent confrontation then we train peoples on large muscle groups to go into action and when were adrenalized when we’re a high adrenaline state which is basically in any confrontation we lose peripheral vision we get tunnel vision we get we lose fine motor control you know car keys and things like that and and we and we also get time to scotian and auditory exclusion we can’t hear so what that means is that we don’t have all our Resources with us what we do have continued to have is large muscle groups and so we teach people these large muscle movements big movements that are extremely effective that they don’t even have to remember because they won’t remember be able to remember the fine motor skill techniques that they will be able to remember these big muscle groups on my training partner here was about six months ago she was down and the beach here and she was attacked by a guy to come out of nowhere and punched her in the stomach or not and she’s not are the female instructor Sabrina that I work with and she she Palm healed in the face and broke his nose she kneed him in the groin she kneed him in the face and then she stomped on his head and then called the police and this is a very traumatic thing but her body did it automatically think about it you just did it you know and that’s that’s what we’re looking for so we we basically take a student and we teach them to deescalate a violent situation once it’s really obvious there’s there’s no way out of the violence if no way around it we teach them to cut loose with very very powerful techniques that basically finish the confrontation very quickly and because we do it in the hydranal and stayed the the the student it goes directly into the limbic system it becomes on autopilot goes right into muscle memory and so and we have to actually part of the training is when they’re in the adrenal stay when they’re done with the quote on quote we have them put your hands up and look around and we should call nine-one-one or go get help because they might forget to do that as a maybe other people in the situation you know so for me this is like I said it’s genius and Peyton Quinn and Bill kept are geniuses in my in my in my mind because they have that they’re not afraid of bucking the the martial arts system they just want to go for what’s true and what really works rather than going with tradition and you know people playing tag in their pajamas. I’ve been and what Bruce Lee said was you know Kung Fu is is is like a beautiful form of feather dusting when it comes time for I’m glad you I like to two point that that kind of stuff out and I think the the one of those things so I’ll try to say to people as you know those you see those Aikido Masters that have all that fine motor control and a state where most people would be very adrenalized but the thing is they are Masters and they come from a cultural tradition where you don’t just go one or two nights a week for a couple hours after work to have your hobby or these are everyday all-day training other people and not everybody makes it there an issue it’s not a they don’t I’ll make it they have to weed weed people out the students so the what you see in the movies with all this finessed technique of like a lot of time in indigenous healing Traditions or however we want to call it you know how to be sewn underground and so I I say that’s kind of reflected in how we how I approached this kind of thing even though you know today will will it will post the events publicly on Facebook and things like that there is still a ring to it that is about you’re not waiting for us to be given our our approval by by Society you know we just know that it’s important so we do this and and so like I’ve been doing this constantly one of my goals that I set out of certain point was that at least you know once a year there would be a community gathering around love sex intelligence and the rest of the time you know we haven’t online for him but very important for that hole project has been and which we’ve stepped it up in the recent months to make sure that hopefully like every month we can do something is to to say that the community around learning about how to how to harmonise our relationships how to defend our sexuality into something that is you know how uplifting our spiritual path is something that needs to be done you know with with with more support and so that’s why it’s it can’t just functioning online capacity so that’s something I’ve committed to we have we have been actually our next events is focusing squarely on sexual initiation I’m pink resented by someone named y’all Lila Espinosa is looking at how to tweeze mower practices that she learned in Peru you know have informed her own healing and and then creating her own initiation but yeah I also you know as an astrologer I work with people and often it is around relating I’ve done a little bit of like you know support for people I think what happens is you know when when you become a central figure in any given Community people will come to you when they’re in crisis and this is what has informed my my the work that I do around you know Rites of Passage is responding to crisis from a place that seeks to get to the root of what is causing the crisis which in so many cases is that there is a lack of of support and people therefore will resort to self initiation just something I’ve had to do in my own life and and see it so much the case for some of the other people and there’s another psychological shifts that occur when people an emotional shift that occur when people feel a sense that they’re being held that they are being that they can fit they can let go and have a safe space to go into those wounds and begin working on them and of course it would help if we had a little more guidance and how to do that but thought comes over over time you know we have to work from where we’re at and so that’s something that I’ve been in in the my own process of of my own work around here figuring what those things are with those tools are and Tom yeah like I said I’m not an expert but I can at least Point people in some directions I guess what we’re looking at here is that there’s an underground space very intentional underground space that is more conducive to kind of freestyling or rolling your own ceremony and just holding the light and and letting those who it call who are called to it you know it would become integrated into keep it at the gala Therrien and flowing so that you don’t have cult of personality and politics and all of the scenester Hipster things coming in and that’s always up in it and he has to be on guard against and whatnot so I see there’s that unfoldment in that development and then there’s people who are also working like stay in the social work field who are informing their peers and colleagues in those sectors with these Neo shamanic techniques or nonviolent communication or your where it’s legal and accessible and permissible you know legally again to be able to put people on amor I guess like prisons prison you Lila has a very and I’ve done some I interviewed her in the past and I’m a big fan of what she’s doing and I know she has a strong background in clinical social work and is feeding back into that sector the wisdom of of the Amazon and and Beyond and so is that something that you have I just thought I remember reading somewhere you know or talk to you at some point about how this is this is like you could be hired by the more formal above ground and sectors of social work or Community work with where you can be brought in to bring some of the stuff that would normally be or I guess it’s just that it’s a very interesting Cutting Edge of an intersection and I if I’m not mistaken that’s that you you are like sort of partially in that world 2 of of social work or is that something I understand correctly yeah I’ll I will string this conversation back and see where where I where I am placed social work as well as all the modalities of counseling and healing you know like they are all part and parcel to supporting and upholding status quo capitalist system so I’m going to like you know like you know also haven’t been in the punk scene also had a big enough impact on my my party now 13 m in terms of healing these wounds we have to look at that and I we can’t we can’t say like that are healing is going to be independent of the world that is reeling and suffering from the continuation of this system as it is and so that’s where for me like bringing capitalism into the equation is is something that’s real tricky it’s something that I feel needs to be kind of understood. You know we we can’t just rely on having sting services that we can pay for because that creates a gap you know where some people are going to have accessible abilities to to the healing and others won’t and that’s that’s not healthy for anyone and and also that it doesn’t address the root cause of why we need social workers to begin with and why we need counseling and all of that so I really like the notion of cultural healing that’s where more where I would be comfortable in any way kind of looking at myself as any kind of healer I don’t think we we can really heal individuals that’s really something that you know a person will need to and it’s not like they can be facilitated to do their own healing work but nobody can fix us we have to fix ourselves that’s that’s more I think a more powerful Paradigm to be apart of but you know I I I have worked in the realm of I focused therapy and you know I have spent quite a bit of time around the spirit plant medicines and seeing how the plant medicines have assisted and I do I do continue continuously work to increase my knowledge and wisdom around working with us plants and and that also brings us back into that hole realm of discussion around you know ancestors and working with them or perhaps that’s something we haven’t really touched upon but maybe she said it’s just that in any form of healing that we do I guess for me the important thing that I really try to bring into whatever I do connecting back with her ancestors and healing the trauma of how we were disconnected from those ancestors and how that plays out in any kind of sexual wounds or emotional wounds that we carry and so that’s something that I I I feel like the role of initiation and ritual can can really do and that’s that’s been its Province ever since people began doing patrols I think it’s to build upon the legacy of their ancestors and to draw and their their help and support cool said that yeah thank you for helping me understand the other parameters a little better and and 100% there with you I have I have been because I live in the United States where there’s different laws around no prostitution in in how that affects the healing with sexual touch and pleasure as medicine and stuff like that is a lot more yes I understand in in Canada there’s there’s a lot more interesting legal space in order to do Hands-On Sexual Healing work relative to the US where it’s completely off limits in so I because of that adapting to that reality and also is a permaculture designer myself I have to think very deeply about how to navigate this issue of for-profit healing work that kind of in most sectors is about like you said I’ll put in my own words it’s like they want to know if if the if you’re at a time of time robot that supposed to be producing a set amount to be a productive member of the of the GDP then then if you’re not functioning properly than the the goal of the mainstream social work or psychotherapeutic or psychiatric Fields they’re trying to get you back into the rat race as soon as possible and they’ll do that with drugs with talk therapy or whatever that is about avoiding through tissue which is the disconnection from urethane from a healthy holistic wild habitat you know a night as a primitivist I see that you know the solution to your Neurosis is to retry belies and Get Growing your own food again in and rebuild that fabric so you know there with you on that tension about right livelihood in and taking money for healing and what is he doing so I really like what you said and that just is going to it’s going to help me a lot looking at healing the cultural level and healing the if I’m understanding right and I’ll put a couple my own words on it but I feel like we’re trying to build the scaffolding or were trying to design the context for people to take the responsibility of a personal healing and gone to that journey and so if you if what would you say are some practical skills are tools from all of your things that you would teaching and training and a things that you discovered in your own journey to where you’re in power tools for empowerment that you suggest or are resources that you suggest people Explorer to if they’re called to do the cultural healing work weather for profit or non-profit. Some dance between the two or it and then what what are some recommendations for people who are on their own path and aren’t necessarily called to do the the cultural healing yeah I mean it’s it’s a pretty vast subject that one but I think that a few points that I could think about and talk about our that I’m going to this idea of bringing you back in the station rights and recognizing that in the absence of them what do we have you know we are we are sadly in there without initiated Elders so many of us and if there are any of Elders that hold that ability to to guide those those ones are those are worth their weight in gold you know there really is people that we should try to lift up and and give them their recognition and see you know and then in the absence of that it’s like we kind of by default Our Generations people that will have to hopefully fulfill that and reach a place where we can actually help upcoming generations to go in a way that they don’t have to completely go it alone and and figure it out on them on their own the way that so many of us have had to and so there is a movement around Rites of Passage I sit on the board if you passageways which is a network that focus is squarely on you no Rites of Passage for you coming of age from all different walks and and and modalities you know some of them are our Boys to Men oriented some of them are girls to women some of them are starting to incorporate non gender binary kind of approaches as well which is good and and this whole focus on bringing back the ancestors into looking at Rites of Passage is is starting to happen and something that I focused on and so that’s that’s a resource you know people can go to youth passageways. Oregon and look at what programs are out there and they can also think about how they can add to that list and bring in things that are needed around especially around sexuality and relationship which is often I noticed kind of a big gap in a lot of programs out there you know because they’re confined confined or constrained by the conservative values where they take place and you know what school system is you know this is one of those places lagging for that kind of thing so it’s a role that I think that many people who understand the need can step into and cultivate as career paths you know and some people are pig figuring out how they can weave their credentials says on Sexual Health Educators or sexual therapist or sexual trauma or no trauma-based therapists you know into this realm of initiation and that’s that needs to happen on a on an increased level the other I see a lot of because of what I was saying around looks really don’t how many Avenues to learn other than through you know what the books in the workshops and offerings around sexuality thoughts unfortunately are not rooted in in people’s only need two lineages generally speaking you know so the whole Tantra movement is pretty much so you know a cultural appropriator of New Age fight version of those Traditions that would have been squashed by Christianity especially and so I think there’s work to be done there and as much as possible Retreat retrieving reconstructing are reconnecting with our own ancestral Traditions which I’m sure you know had their own knowledge wisdom around how to how to raise healthy harmonious individuals with healthy sexualities from from the vantage point of how what little I do know has been has been done in indigenous cultures and without wanting to appropriate for them from them I’ll just give way of examples out of that you know in and certain cultures that are studied like the Mayan culture and I think to some degree on certain places within Creek culture there’s examples of how as societies you know that the children are raised from an early age 2 reach a point where they understand how to how to harmonize with the other sex and how to to look after each other and that’s just a very basic principle that I feel like you know that’s that’s worth kind of learning how to integrate into our family structures if we have children that were raising just to keep in mind that you know there is a need for them to learn skills around things like consent and around being responsible with with one’s sexual energies and and I needs to start before they reach that age of adolescence where they’re just harder to connect with if you haven’t built up that Foundation so that’s something that I think about will do you so if I if if we check out that the organization that you mention is it would that be good place to find and something like a more enlightened or more conscious like sexual education curriculum or guidebook do you know if people were working on something like that so if I know if you know parents who were going through the puberty of their child that they have something that’s not just this cold clinical Western and even though that sort of evolving a little bit you know with things like a sack didn’t and whatnot I see a lot but the The ancestral wisdom and you know the ceremonial Rites of Passage you know how does it how does the Modern Family say okay well you’re about to start feeling you know hormonal Energy’s how do we give you know create even if it’s just within their family or their Community yoga or whatever is something more than what’s being offered in the normal sex ed or what they’re listening in gangster rap music and watching on sitcoms obviously you know it’s enough for lack of lot of alternative options it’s one one place to look and we’re always looking for others so whenever we discover something then we will see to auditory resources and we are trying to vet those resources and those organizations to make sure that they really are you know at least there’s some some level of you know safe recommendation that we can give for those those organizations we’re not we’re not in the position to really kind of completely you know set standards but we are trying to we have a code of what we call it a cross-cultural protocol so we do look at that aspect that you have for what we’re talking about that’s you know if that’s another layer that we will hopefully get to eventually and I do know that there are people within our Network who are really strongly focused on this particularly around girls to women kind of education and and Rites of Passage and some of the Boys to Men once but I think it’s also something we need to to enhance as well oh that’s great yeah that’s that’s that’s what I wanted to hear so that I can just refer people to this ongoing and so and then the LSI is kind of its there’s a Facebook I’ve been interacting with the the Facebook group for a while so is that something you recommend people plug-in I mean that’s the goal of that is to feature blogs and generate discussions from those blogs and also to establish a resource of services as well as information and so that’s you know running on in a very limited volunteer capacity and so you know it’s something that I hope will eventually become a very powerful resource but already it’s you know it’s been feedback that I’ve received that you know even just the the group that we have on Facebook somebody posted recently. You know it’s really help them in their in their path which is nice to hear and I’ve heard that a few times and I try to curate that group in such a way where it’s like you know it’s trying to generate discussion and it’s it’s trying to be a safe space where where people can get into some of those I’m intimate revealing is of what what’s going on in their lives one of the things that kind of came out of love sex intelligence local as a connection with Tamara and the love school that they have which is a very congruence philosophy to love sex intelligence and they’re their work to try to create or with to create safe spaces for people to to share stories of what’s going on in their intimate lover sexual lives and and B witnessed in a way that is non-judgemental where they’re not being flooded with advice but more just being witnessed which is kind of connected to that whole framework for Rites of Passage itm witnessing each other and so it’s it’s trying to also look at how you know communities can succeed in their in their goals which might include you know like being more sustainable or being an alternative to the systems around us and also being a part of a more peaceful kind of culture through filling this hole that is often where things go wrong where people are are are not feeling safe to talk about these these human experiences around wounding around are our hearts and our sexuality so I’ve been part of a Practice Group here that has been circulating also to other parts of BC and I think it’s a really it’s a really powerful movement to be a part of yeah we’re getting close to an hour or so I have to take a few more minutes and I’m get a couple thoughts and feelings some responsible for 1 something that his is coming up for me that I think it’s really empowering is this like idea that wouldn’t it be nice if some of us started to think of ourselves as aspiring Elders I’ve never thought of it that way until this conversation and there’s a little spark of joy and me that that says you know puts in context the the punk rock lifestyle that I had of live fast Die Young and just you know if it’s not throwing yourself into the meat grinder of insurrectionary activism you know with this sort of Death Wish you know this martyr complex or whatever it’s like those are really unsustainable archetypes to follow and they leave a lot of people when they get to my age in about 35 like in a sort of existential crisis that will the revolution didn’t happen and I didn’t get killed I didn’t die in the gutter you know I mean what am I going to do now and it’s like well maybe it’s time to become an aspiring Elder and you know clean up your act and and then start to think about how you’re going to make it easier cuz I there’s a lot of things that I had to go through that I would seriously love to have no one else ever have to go through and if you know if we can live in that. you know that is what you’re supposed to think that I think of you say you know you can you can learn from the wisdom of Elders who have gone through and made the mistakes that you’re probably going to go through or you can just be hard-headed and learn all your lessons the hard way but I mean we’ve had to learn a lot of hard lessons in the absence of the eldership but I think if we take on that there’s a yeah me too. It seems obvious but really the way you put it his medicine for me to think you know it’s a dignified path to be an aspiring Elder and then it makes you not be so how do I can help you defeat that that that grinding pressure that oh my I’m going to lose my looks and I’m going to lose my energy and I’m going to be in the state of deprecation towards death and that’s very much the greatest fear of the western manicured Uno photoshopped airbrushed identity like you’re not really giving any hope that aging will be of any benefit in here just marginalized further and further so I thank you for that serve very much still give that time sacred eldership dignity not a light title to hold I think the true Elder wouldn’t really feel comfortable in it cuz it’s defining attributes of an elder that is really one that can help that role be the best it can be is one that is is really accountable is really present isn’t so on the move that if you can’t you know be relied upon to be there for the people that it serves now needs to ideally be in the in the fellowship of other Elders to kind of keep it in in in check in a way like we have to watch for the Cole group kind of phenomenon where people you know place a lot of weight on that person and in a way that can privilege them in certain ways and also lead to potential like power distortions and things like that you know it’s it’s only human that people will make mistakes and so having that kind of accountability of other people and also that time yeah you have people heart or a different there’s always like in every phase of life with the lifecycle there’s there’s like the maturing phases and so there’s like you know there’s a baby elder there’s enough adult Elder and then Senior Elder and so it’s just we have to learn at each stage of Life how to become the mature version of what that stage is and says just something to think about as well and it’s good to to get your feet wet early on in life so that you know we can have deep roots and and the and those are the kinds of people to like in the Tamara situation out of the black community they have a circle of Elders who are basically people who have grown with a community enough that they know the people in their community and then they serve a role as potential kind of like the Matchmaker but you know in a way where people can approach them in and ask them like you know I’m interested in this person and they can help you assess whether this is the right time or what is a good or bad idea and you know they can kind of that. Whole courtship in a way that you know really I think I wish there were more of those people around here don’t you let me relax you know learn the hard way what does that we’re just not compatible certain people in The Matrix the I mean yeah I’m not I’m not a political scientist of the Matrix but I will say that what got me peaked on the ecstatic trance dance group ritual ceremony festival thing was it really when I saw I think it was maybe the second movie or maybe it was the second or the third but there was a scene where they’re just getting down to like Juno Reactor I think was a soundtrack of a butt there is something beautiful about seeing the different the warrior culture Guided by elders and of course there’s different the archetypes playing out in Conflict split that to me was took it further than then the Star Trek Federation is a futuristic Elder guided Council guided kind of reality so that was kind of fun but yeah so that’s what came to mind when you’re at we’re talking about that be so cool if you’re early sexual oracle’s who you go to you know if we’re going to give you insights and maybe even have name your child for you or something cool like that you know be so cool but right on then will I worry about at the hours so do you have any closing touch you want to share or any other resources or should we just I’ll post the the links that you mention and I’ll definitely encourage people to stay informed and keep an eye out for your anything coming up you have any appearances or anything exciting like that coming up you want to mention I think yeah I think I covered a lot of it and I just wanted to maybe plant a seed while I have the airwaves here about something that I’d I’d eventually like to work on presenting which is around insert Intercultural relationships and also decolonizing our relationships as well and just thinking about how how we can heal some of these ancestral traumas and use that has as as a means to strengthen our relationships and also our society right on I’ll be looking forward to everything that you’re you’re expressing in the world and I hopefully yeah maybe sometime in the future we can talk about skill sets for Beyond Christian monogamy that would be a great topic so yeah how would you feel about that maybe we can sometime in the next few months follow up with something like that. Maybe by the by the time I’ll have more of a personal lived experience to a base conversation around that I think you know in terms of people who are already I don’t know how many listeners here are on a Christian spiritual path without that many but if the energy and gnosticism and sacred marriage not going to the alchemical top in the in the Gnostic tradition but I I wouldn’t make any claims to be an expert in that area but it’s definitely something to look at cool alright then we will be in touch and will follow up sometime in the future and thank you so much so be I really enjoyed it and I know it’s taking us a while to get this to get this done but I think it was perfect and I couldn’t ask for anything more so you have a wonderful day. Take care and keep for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and if you want a podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been at Contra Punk. Com Thomas Day

How to Love Like a God

Why Get Off When You Can Stay On and Get High?

Everyday we wake up with renewed sexual energy, and we’re driven by the need to do something with it. What does it want to do? It wants to connect with other consenting age-appropriate human beings in as free, open, loving, and wild a way possible. It wants to get us high, heal our bodies, blast us into hyperspace, take us for a trip across the astral plane, keep us peaceful, careful, loving, and kind, bind couples and communities together, drive procreation, and more.

Unfortunately the dominant culture has denied this energy, dammed its flow, and damned its spirit to hell. Virtually everyone in our culture is sexually dysfunctional, physically, mentally, and spiritually. The resulting sickness manifests subtly and overtly in all domains. Much of what is toxic, unsustainable, and harmful in modern civilization can be thought of as the physical manifestation of misdirected sexual energy. When we train our minds and bodies to embrace and cultivate this energy we can build more ethical economic systems, more sustainable infrastructure, and have more compassionate public policy and diplomacy. Instead of trashing the finite planet to build empires of ego, we can build palaces of transcendent pleasure in infinite spiritual realms, right from the comfort of our own bedrooms. Frustrated, angry sublimation can be transmuted to blissful flowing superlimation.

Here are some practical steps for men:

Self Love
Without self love, most people are love deficient, they have a hole that they’re trying to fill, rather than an overflowing abundance that they’re eager to share.

For most of my life I lived without self love. I didn’t think it could be cultivated from within, I thought I needed it to be imported from the outside. Through serious pain, heart-break, and study I learned how and why to self-love. From compliments to the mirror, to medibation (masturbation + meditation), to getting fit, to eating right, to educating myself, I learned to take an active interest in myself so that when I hear the song “Enjoy the Silence” by Depeche Mode, I sing “All I ever wanted, all I ever needed…” to myself, “here in my arms”…me! Without that glowing self love, where you stand tall, with good posture, happy for no reason, content, calm, peaceful, energetic, you can’t attract what you really want. Attraction is a factor of energy. You can be skinny and be unattractive if you’re spirit is faded and you don’t love yourself. Conversely, you can be large and be an electro-magnet because you love yourself and it excites and turns people on. It’s not a matter of how tight the skin is to the bones, it’s a matter of how tight the spirit is to the flesh. The spirit’s food is love, feed it everyday with a life-long romance with yourself, your body, your mind. Your spirit will stay with you and turn heads for you. Crouch like a pretzel in the corner, let your spirit fade, and dwell in the shadow of negative self talk, and self-conceived ugliness, and you will not attract anyone, or whoever you do attract will be of like-vibration, you’ll attract another pain-bodied self-hating energy vampire and you’ll perpetually make life hell for each other.

The simplest way I can put it is to use the cultural construct of the “dream man” or “dream woman”. At one point I said to myself, wait a minute, if I’m this toxic mess of deprivation and clingy, needy desire, and I want some angelic princess to come along and rescue me and make me happy, and be perfect, and never upset me, or change, well, only change to be exactly the way I want her of course…isn’t something missing from the picture? That’s an ugly picture, beauty and the beast! I realized that, the dream love I wanted was a two way street. I had to love myself just as much, I had to be my dream self, or at least know what that was and be working towards it. So I built the vision in my mind of my dream self, and without waiting for someone to rescue me, I went to work, broke out of my shell of self-pity and started to build the dream me. I’ll never be done, because as I grow I want to grow more, but as long as I’m growing, I’m not dying and the mirror gets more and more forgiving and loving. Not just because of physical work, but because of spiritual, intellectual, and emotional work.

In this heart-broken and self-esteem broken society, the mirror is your worst enemy but it can become your best friend no matter what anyone else says about your appearance. It can be a tool to develop a relationship with yourself, your first and only truly life-long relationship. You can go through a million partners, but you’ll always have to face yourself, sleep with yourself, argue with yourself, put up with yourself. The mirror can be a tool for building that abundance of love, from the inside out that you can share with the world.

Training/Practice
By training I mostly mean masturbation, or preferably medibation (masturbation + meditation). For men, if you’re not “getting laid” you better be staying in shape by masturbating not just to get off and get on with life, but rather to make love to yourself with similar time, focus, and attention, as you’d give to the act of love with a partner. Not only is it necessary to maintain “stamina” by mastering the art of riding the edge of climax and drawing the energy through the body with breath and self massage, but it’s necessary to keep your body lit up with erotic energy.

If you’re not in a partnership where sex is shared regularly, maintaining a healthy regular loving relationship with yourself keeps your wiring and gears from rusting and locking up.

Also the power to do sex magic is as potent (though perhaps not as powerful) alone as with a partner. Think about it, when stimulating yourself you’re raising all of this energy into and through your system, whatever thoughts/visions/ideas/desires are in your mind can and should be energized as well. Whether you need to psyche yourself out to remember the study questions for the mid-term, of you’re trying to manifest a new job, or a new lover, why waste the energy by just consuming porn or fantasizing about some cover-girl?

The Love of a Lover
I think you can have great sex with strangers, it’s not very safe, fulfilling, or sustainable, and it can’t get you as high as with a true lover. Developing love first is always a better way to go in my opinion because there can be trust, comfort, relaxation, safety and other ingredients listed below.

So here are few notes on the love of a lover. It’s actually easier to love oneself it seems because you’re in total control of your decisions (unless you’re dominated by addictive behavior, then you’re basically in a toxic relationship with yourself). In relationships, a tension builds over time around all the resentment over little things, the disagreements, power struggles, compromises, annoyances, etc. If that energy isn’t carefully managed and flushed properly, it can back up into the bedroom and toxify the sexual environment. Even worse, sex can be manipulated as a weapon to seek justice or revenge for problems in other domains of the relationship. It can be withheld, or faked, or just done without passion or spirit and be lame. Either partner can find ways to poison the sacred union both intentionally and unintentionally.

In my experience and study, there are a few key patterns in relationships that have to be carefully guarded against. And there are a few practices that have to be religiously maintained in order for healthy, ecstatic sex to be shared.

First I want to describe the typical love curve. For most couples, high states of ecstasy are easily achieved early on because the love is fresh, exciting, and new. There is heightened curiosity, passion, romance, and both partners are on their best behavior, they haven’t yet fought, their lives aren’t yet entangled, they haven’t had to work through issues or compromise on much. This “Cloud 9” high, is great, but it doesn’t last. It’s a true neuro-chemical drug-induced state that sooner or later you “come down” from and reality comes crashing back in. True mastery of love would be to know how to re-access these chemical states and actually enhance them over time as the relationship grows. The difference after the initial free high wares off, is that you have to give more energy and attention to sustain it, and consistently purify the relationship with fun, adventure, novelty, creativity, and most importantly, open hearted communication.

In our culture of instant gratification, cheap thrills, and no work ethic, most people stay perpetually stuck in the “thrill of the chase” stage where you play “the game” of building up a flirtatious and seductive fling. You’re getting high on the excitement of pursuit, there’s uncertainty and the possibility for failure which keeps you on your toes. You play the game and once you win, that is, once you actually hook up, have sex, and start hanging out, the excitement disappears. It becomes easy, mundane, expected, the chase is over, the thrill is gone. So what do you do, you trail off in communications, you stop being responsive, you fade away and begin again with another prey. Men and women do this all the time, usually leaving a broken-hearted victim.

It makes sense in a way because once that 2 week to 2 month easy high wears off, building a lasting love requires disciplined effort, and all of the ugliness of each person starts to creep out. It makes perfect sense, but it also keeps people in perpetual immaturity. Why do people get stuck in the addictive “chase” cycle, because they lack the patience and discipline to really apply themselves to build real love. The lack of true love, and shallowness of constant flings means ultimate lack of fulfillment and unhappiness, and often the inability to experience the highest states of ecstasy.

I’ve basically tried to establish this phenomenon of the love curve. We’re all some where along it. The goal I think should be to understand it, and find ways to healthily work through it so that it’s more evenly spaced. For example, in a long term relationship, when the initial spike drops, expect it, be aware of it, and don’t think that the love is dead, just know that like a garden, it will die if not properly maintained with TLC. So many couples are sexless for decades, then shell out thousands of dollars to therapists just so they can re-ignite that initial romantic passion. The next time you fall in love, keep a dairy together and take good notes on what felt the best so you’ll have a bread crumb trail to follow when times get tough.

Every person has certain stimuli that make them feel loved the most. It could be a word, a voice tonality, a touch, a place to visit, whatever it may be, the point is we need to know things like this about ourselves and our lovers, and we need to upkeep the practice of making one another feel loved. And we need to learn how to clear emotional space so that passion can be kept alive.

Again, like a garden, if you don’t properly bury the weeds and their seeds in sheet mulch, all the nutrients will be robbed and your crops will be grown over and buried alive. It’s easy to get lazy and let the weeds grow in relationships, so that you can’t even see what you originally planted. If you’re lucky it’s still there, but it’s going to be a hard job to clear it up and bring it into full production if you’ve let it go for a while. That’s why simple, steady, low-level maintenance is so important in love. Going back to the self love component, the more inner prep work you’ve done while alone, the less weeds will sprout in the garden of your love with a partner. With the right amount of preparation and maintenance you’ll be spending more time smelling each others flowers and tasting each others fruits than pulling each others weeds.

Just try to set the intention with yourself and your lover to keep a burning desire for each other alive, and make sure to have combustible chemistry always. It’s not easy, don’t blame yourself or your partner if it fades. The dropping off of the curve is natural, accept it and put effort into pushing it up to ever-higher levels! I great formula for sustaining healthy long-term relationships that I’ve learned and practiced is: daily affection, weekly date-nights, and monthly romantic adventures. I’ve added a couple bonuses: on demand 5-10 minute cuddle breaks and on demand spontaneous dance breaks.

Selectivity
Your sex partner should be someone with whom you share similar life goals. The more aligned your ambitions are the more stable and fruitful the relationship will be. Falling in lust and building a relationship without a foundation of purpose can often be a recipe for disaster. Co-creative synergy should be as important in selecting a mate as sexual chemistry and physical attractiveness.

Prayer and Intent
Before love making verbalize a shared intention, it could be to honor each other as divine beings, to deepen the love, or to achieve a specific outcome such as manifesting a promotion at work. Sacred sexuality involves sexualizing prayer and overcoming religious shame of carnal pleasure. Whatever names you use to call upon your God(s)/Goddess(es) of choice, addressing them in your love making ritual is essential. Many people exclaim “Oh My God” unconsciously throughout the act. In my experience, sexual energy is an amplifier of your prayers. If you want your prayers to make it to the top of the stack, state them clearly and believe fully that whatever request you make will be best received when packaged in a container of pure loving grace.

Time
This is very subjective and variable. But to be safe, my experience and study tells me that for intercourse itself, 30 minutes or more is the optimal range for the magic to really happen. There are so many energetic and chemical currents, some raging, some very subtle, but they’re all epic in their development. The more time they have to flow, the more merging of consciousness can occur so that you become one unified vessel of blissful consciousness able to soar through higher dimensions.

Sacred Set and Setting
Creating a magical altar, lighting candles, burning incense, playing music, wearing sensual clothing, etc. can anchor a sacred mindset and on a metaphysical level, serve to disinfect the environment. Ritualizing the build up to union creates an atmosphere where consciousness is focused, attention is undivided, and the body has the cues it needs for juices to flow and for arousal to occur gradually from a deeper level of being. You may choose to burn sage and call in by name whatever spiritual allies you are close to and command that all things that don’t serve the highest good be banished, be they negative emotions, energies, or entities. If this sounds too occult or hippie-ish, it’s easy enough to simply verbalize that you intend to create a field of pure love where nothing but the truth of bliss is welcome.

Bathing
Bathing is one of the most sensual activities you can share together. It’s always recommended from a sexual health and hygiene perspective, beyond that it effectively sets up the “take turns” approach to giving and receiving pleasure.

Physical Energy
Energy comes from proper eating habits, hydration, regular exercise, rest and the right attitude. Poor diet, dehydration, lack of movement, sleep deprivation and a negative attitude will rob you of energy. Huge meals before love making can obviously sap energy. Light meals at least a couple of our before love making is recommended and trays of fresh fruit, berries, nuts, chocolate, and other healthy sensual foods to snack on throughout a love making session are quite nice and help sustain energy levels.

Dance
Dancing is the art of making love before or without having sex. If you haven’t danced with someone, how can you trust them with your heart and your sexual health? Dancing is an essential part of maximizing the potential of foreplay. It’s what starts all of the engines in the charka system. It gets the blood flowing, detoxifies the lymph system, and gets you energetically prepared for long lasting, full bodied, transcendent orgasms. It also creates a field within which only blissful emotion can survive, it makes the past dissolve, and allows smiles to bubble to the surface uncontrollably.

You can roll on top of each other at midnight after you click off the TV, knowing you have to get up at 6:00am, and the love making will most likely leave much to be desired. A better approach would be to shut off the TV a couple hours earlier and pretend you and your lover are the TV stars, act out and role play your own script, be your own entertainment, and make it a dancing musical while you’re at it!

Relaxation with Massage
When people rush to sex, they’re not taking the time to shed the energetic tension of the day. Massage is an exquisite means to bring the body to a state of complete and total relaxation. If lovers gave each other even a five minute coconut oil massage before intercourse, they’d experience exponentially more pleasure and satisfaction.

Full Attention and Presence with Meditation
Meditation is the key to focusing your full attention and into the body and the present moment. It can be as simple as closing your eyes and focusing your attention on deep breaths. There are infinite ancient and modern techniques from all over the world. It’s best to try a variety and decide what works best for you and your partner. Whether you’re sitting still, stretching, or dancing, the goal should be to quiet the mind.

Breathing, and Conscious Energy Circulation
Breathing techniques are extremely important. There are all kinds that should be studied and experimented with. According to Tantric and Taoist traditions, the breath can be the most powerful tool to circulate energy. It’s critical that the men master breathing techniques so that the high voltage sexual energy can be drawn up from genitals and  circulate internally throughout the body, and externally when with a partner. There are many detailed diagrams of energy flow within an individual’s sexual energetic circuitry and the same for couples. I won’t describe these in detail here, but it’s enough to know that when shared sexual energy is built in a couple, it has to go somewhere. For many men who don’t consciously circulate their sexual energy with breathing, meditation, and visualization techniques, premature ejaculation is a lifelong curse.

If the energy is not consciously cycled within the individual or couple, it will get jammed in the genital area and eventually explode in the form of a fleeting orgasm. But when circulated, it can result in waves of multiple orgasm for both the female and the male, and thus push the couples unified consciousness into ever higher and deeper altered states of ecstasy.

Warning: breath and energy circulation techniques should be practiced only with the guidance master. Extremely powerful waves of energy can be released that require advanced methods of preparation to be able to safely endure.

Eye Gazing
Eye gazing, or sustained eye contact is one of the most intense forms of intimacy. It comes easily in the early stages of love and when practiced regularly during sex can play an important role in sustaining true love. Having sex in the dark or with eyes closed, or astray, allows the mind to wander. Consciousness can leave the moment, whether it’s to fantasize about someone else, or go over the shopping list, without eye contact, there’s no guarantee that quality attention is shared. It doesn’t have to be constant, but it should be regular, and it should be what starts the sexual session.

It’s not desirable to be fettered with all kinds of formal procedures, or to keep count of this or that, the point is to train in these things so that they become effortless and automatic. It’s just like martial arts, you train to learn the skill and eventually like magic the skill performs for you without arduous effort. Your consciousness is free to just be fully present in the experience as your body dances with the energy using the tools and techniques you taught it.

Basic Anatomy and Stimulation
Developing an understanding of female anatomy is so important. The dominant culture has trained men to believe that 100% of a woman’s pleasure is a direct result of his size when in fact the majority of erogenous tissue is in and around the clitoris. And only certain positions actually allow the penis to reach the G-Spot.

Sadly, porn cinematography favors the visually dramatic deep thrusting pattern which is typically the least pleasurable for the woman, and the most overstimulating for the man. The key is to balance the stimulation, so excitement builds steadily for both partners. Keep the thrusting pattern at a ratio that favors shallow over deep. This will protect you from overstimulation and keep her in a positive feedback loop of building anticipation and reward.

Another vital strategy to prevent premature ejaculation is to do what boxers do when they get exhausted. You know how they burrrow themselves into each other as though to hide from their opponents punches by limiting their range and velocity? Well you can achieve the same effect by thrusting all the way in and holding on tight with a bear hug so that the range of thrusting motion is limited and your stimulation is decreased. You’ll discover that being in deep for longer periods of time actually benefits your partner because she’ll be happy to grind on your public bone while you whimper and pant while regaining your strength for continued thrusting action.

Direct manual clitoral stimulation should not be done immediately, rather, slow caressing of the pelvic area should be gradually built up. Packed in the clitoris are as many nerves as the entire penis, and there’s a “circuit overload” phenomenon that can be quite uncomfortable and inhibit arousal.Direct manual clitoral stimulation should not be done immediately, rather, slow caressing of the pelvic area should be gradually built up. Packed in the clitoris are as many nerves as the entire penis, and there’s a “circuit overload” phenomenon that can be quite uncomfortable and inhibit arousal.

There is also the G-Spot, which is just behind the pubic bone in the inner vaginal wall. Insert one or two fingers and do the “come hither” motion to put pressure on the dense sponge-like tissue. Once you and your partner have located it with fingers and she can identify the sensation, experiment with various positions of intercourse and become more conscious of how to stimulate it with the penis.

The male anatomy is pretty self-explanatory, however most straight folk are unaware of the male G-Spot, which is the prostate. It’s about the size of a dried apricot and it can be stimulated from the outside by applying pressure between the testicles and the anus, or for the slightly more adventurous, from within via insertion of body parts/objects of your choice into the anus.

Everyone is different, everyone’s wiring is different; that is what’s fun about getting to know someone sexually. For someone to share with you what makes them unique and for them to train you to play them like a musical instrument can be a true joy.

I won’t go into detail about positions, oral techniques, thrusting patterns, etc. here, just study, experiment and keep in mind the principles of spontaneity and diversity.

Consider how when you put your clothes on, your body registers the sensation, but once it’s registered, it doesn’t keep sending you the same signals. There’s a trailing off of sensation once your body gets used to something so the changing of position, rate, depth, patterns, etc. often keeps the body guessing and the signals are more intense.

Climactic Equality
So how does the average American male understand his sexual energy and its application with a sex partner? Generally, like most things in patriarchal culture, it’s understood within a construct of goal oriented sports. Hence the metaphors, “Did you score?, “No, I only got to third base,”… Guys are culturally taught that the objective is to score, first by getting a woman in bed, second by performing athletically so that she reaches climax during or before his climax. No surprise that the locker-room wisdom for guys to keep from ejaculating prematurely is to “think of a sport where you haven’t shot the ball yet…”

The primary goal of simply having sex is far more rewarded and tallied in the locker room than the secondary goal which is to perform in a way the satisfies one’s partner. So although all men know they’re supposed to be able to “go all night long” most don’t bother to learn how. The average American married couple’s sex lasts for 3-5 minutes.

This tragedy is one of the main reasons why countless American women have never had an orgasm during intercourse, and if shamed away from masturbation, have never had an orgasm at all.

So what’s really going on here? There’s an orgasmic economy that’s very unequal. The untrained man is quickly overwhelmed by stimulation while his female partner is consistently underwhelmed. The man gets off and passes out leaving the woman teased and dissatisfied. This cycle repeats again and again until they cheat, divorce, or die.

Balancing sexual energy requires increasing duration and can be achieved with a variety of trained/practiced techniques and fundamental understandings.

For sexual union to bring both male and female partners into altered states of ecstasy, this balance has to be achieved.

Because of the physiological differences between women and men, it’s easy for a man to simply get aroused physically whereas a woman’s arousal originates from a deeper place physically and spiritually. It’s like building a camp fire, it has to be done according to certain principles. If you light a match and drop a log on it, it won’t burn, you have to take the time to make the perfect little nest of tinder, build a perfect cone of kindling, and in stages build up to a roaring fire.

The problem with most men is that we’re not aware of this because, it’s not required for us to climax. A minimum 30 minutes of intercourse is a lot to ask as many men can’t survive the intensity of stimulation more than a few minutes. Or if they can last for 30 minutes or longer, if their heart isn’t present, they’re not going to bring their partner to climax, hence the faked female orgasm.

Without becoming distracted or anxious by having a goal to perform perfectly, couples can work over time towards the ability to increase duration and heartful presence.

The real goal should be to focus full attention on your partner and the pleasure itself, it’s only with this full presence that the doors to higher dimensions open. However many men regularly project their attention elsewhere and thus never let their full energy, spirit, and consciousness fill up in the moment. That’s truly what builds female arousal, the physical aspect is secondary to this primary need.

With the understanding that in order to “satisfy” a woman, a man must last longer, what can he do? One way to visualize male physiology is to imagine a circuit breaker. When the circuit is overloaded it breaks and the lights go out. Ever plug in too many appliances at once, and everything shuts off and you’re standing there like a fool in the dark? Welcome to the bedrooms of millions of couples across America.

A man has to learn to distribute the high-voltage current throughout his whole body, this is the only way he can survive the intensity. First he must know that it’s possible to withhold ejaculation yet have multiple and continuous full body orgasms. Many men haven’t ever been introduced to this idea. In many cases, masturbation in adolescence was done quickly, secretly, and in a state of shallow rapid breathing under the stress and fear of being caught. That doesn’t set up a good neuro-physiological template for long, relaxed, sacred love making later in life.

Once the idea is learned, the art and science has to be studied, practiced, and mastered. There are many books, websites, videos, classes, etc. on ejaculation control, or as some people like to say ejaculation “choice”. Just Google multiple male orgasms, Taoist Sexual Kung Fu, and Tantric Cobra breath.

Another training technique that both men and women should do on a regular basis is kegel exercises where you repeatedly contract the “PC” (pubococcygeus) muscles on the pelvic floor in various intervals. They’re the same muscles used to stop the flow of urination. If you haven’t identified them, next time you urinate, do what you normally would to stop the flow and you’ve found them. When men regularly contract these muscles, they condition the ability to withhold ejaculation by contracting them as the urge to ejaculate arises. For women, the main application of conditioned PC muscles is to create more tightness and muscle control during intercourse.

Non-goal Orientation
Going back to the sports analogy, if the man is distracted and caught up just trying to make the woman climax, he’s not fully present, not fully being in the experience. If a woman is feeling anxiety because she wants to force herself to climax so she can make the man feel like he’s not a failure, and protect his fragile ego, she’s not fully present and enjoying the experience. Yes the climax of both partners is desirable, but as long as there’s mutual effort put in by both parties to develop the skills to have a general equality of climax over time, it won’t be the end of the world if the male either loses an erection, or prematurely ejaculates during one session. So the goal should be to not have a goal and to just feel as freely as possible, but to have done the homework to make disappointment the exception not the rule.

Have fun, be safe, be sacred. You are already a God, you just need to train and condition your sexual Godhood so that you can rise to the built in potential of your Goddess.