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Lose Your False Mind, Find Your True Self & Learn to Feel Good Inside with Craig Lewis TPP214

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Craig Lewis pic

In this episode I’m joined again by long time friend and brother from the heart of the d-i-y punk scene Craig Lewis for a update on his adventures in travel, personal growth, recovery, mental health justice, spirituality, sexuality, and much more.

There are many profound spiritual truths and gems of sacred wisdom shared. I’m always deeply reaffirmed that our shared deep roots in the ethics and spirit of resistance from the punk rock movement have kept us motivated to fight the good fight and love the good love.  It’s invigorating to catch up with Craig and compare notes as we push ourselves ever forward towards our own evolving definitions of what it means to be spiritual warriors.

About Craig:

Craig Lewis is a rebel and he chooses to live his life built on a foundation of gratitude, peace, love, kindness, spirituality, accountability, honor, forgiveness and acceptance. He is currently living in a mountain in Mexico, seeking truth, healing and connection. Without question, Craig continues to rise ever higher on his mission to be the living proof to all, that surviving the impossible, is entirely possible.

Craig recently published his book ‘Better Days’ in Finnish, Dutch, Spanish, Tagalog and Thai, with several new translations on the way including Kiswahili and Italian.  Find out about his many books, posters and more here: Sanityisafulltimejob.org (under construction) and also via email.

Craig actively trains mental health workers, educators, people in recovery (and all interested people) throughout the world and is excited about benefiting your organizations and the lives of all via his experience, wisdom and fearlessness. 

Medium Blog: https://medium.com/@punx.in.recovery
Whatsapp: 528332944654
Punx.in.recovery@gmail.com

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello David Lebovitz welcome to Township on podcast episode number 214 will be getting some major updates from our international Man of Mystery been on the show a few times before Craig Lewis you said old friends are going back many years in the anarcho-punks seen in the more radical conscious seen and he is standing in the world of pure support and mental health and really growing and transcending beyond the the system’s way of administering public policy around mental health and really taking the power back and using a DIY Spirit to do so and last time or what we’ve been since we’ve talked last I know a lot of Adventures have unfolded and and a lot of Mystique and a lot of intrigue so with all that said Craig take it away. What’s been going on with new oh my god brother it’s been I think the last time we spoke was in February to do to do a proper the discussion like this was in February of last year so it’s like I don’t know if 15 months are 16 months ago if I’m not mistaken yeah so yeah man yeah it’s been one heck of a crazy wild ride and I now live in a mountain I am in the south of Mexico and I am in a place it’s a bit hard to get you unless you have any intention to go there you make a plan and I have an apartment I got a place to live that’s affordable and I have a terrorist live off the plants and the mountains all around and hunting birds and cats that visit and live with me I don’t think the language and I’m learning and I’m just for the first time for lots of reasons this finding some sort of I don’t know how to describe it some sort of acceptance of the rationality of everything and finally some sodas thanks and all of it to be able to be in the moment and take that and transform into whatever this I dream about and end desire in a nutshell that’s where I’m at this is awesome and you sound better than ever and I know you’ve been through so much some intense inner struggles and external struggles and now to be at that place of peace and sounds like relative kind of resolution to to be posted up somewhere and then I actually have this is something I’m really fascinated in which is the economics of being a traveler in the in the modern age in the sort of how you can are you figuring out ways to economize with your resources and find ways to make your money last longer by being posting up on your travels places where you can just kind of make it stretch and last longer when can you get into some of the economics of that of that way of life cuz it’s very fascinating to me I’d love to do more traveling myself oh yeah I will check this out, man it’s a freaking disaster III what economics are we speaking of like it’s funny I landed here with a backpack okay I I had a little bit of money to just place to get a house and I’ve been like it’s been a very challenging experience to find some sort of sense of any sort of like this world episodes like some sort of solid foundation on a music and this whole crazy like a year-and-a-half will plus I like all over the world husband Ace Financial how do I describe it I don’t have like a mighty long time ago this is been like I don’t want to I do want to break up Bon Jovi cuz this is been like what we would that when they would sing in 1986 this is what they called living on his neck no other way to describe it because that’s exactly what I know to be true but so this is all crazy like how do you live how do you survive how do they make this happen I don’t think I had a choice and I think the only way I was going to heal and I get to the next place in my life to get to the next place to get to the next place what’s the not know what the heck I was doing and just trust that I did letting you know you know me I give like the roundabout Circle answer that’s like the opposite of the answer you’re seeking or the or the S you would expect or anticipate the question but that’s what you get for me so that’s my answer brother what actually did I half expected something like that where it was more I can see the strategy and being uncertainty Jake and the spontaneity of going where the wind blows you know and in following just moment-to-moment that’s that’s the dream I mean that’s the most Freedom you could ever have is to not be bound to even your own plans of your own expectations of anything in and just really trust a if I’m blessed then I’ll get fed and in Shelter tonight and if I’m not then I’ll have to wonder why with the empty stomach on the cold side park somewhere a man and I don’t like that empty stomach and I also want to just briefly go back a second before I go forward the moment I said that the answer that you were expecting I knew that was the incorrect thing to say and I immediately followed by saying the opposite because I knew that you’re not expecting that it’s like this like comfortable thing that we do when we’re communicating we make use of something that we put into the conversation but actually that’s bullshit you are understanding me more than most people would so thank you yeah crazy life man this whole reality is just you can live and people will see your heart and don’t understand that the language or how you look or you come from or any of these things they don’t matter what matters is that you can communicate from what is truly what they knew in your heart that they will see that and they will accept that and that’ll bring you the protection on the help and the loves and that everything that you need for real I love a man yeah that does that leaves Faith conduct actually reminds me something funny why I say this with all due respect cuz this fellow is one of my dear friends and we’ve sent drifted apart but but we used to be tight Bros and it was funny in a way because he came from a way more stable family and had he works really hard to be an overachiever and I watched him work harder than anybody so I don’t say that he was like a born with a silver spoon in his mouth or whatever he wasn’t he was privileged but he also was pushed to to Really develop himself but she did all the extracurricular activities and did the honours and did all this crazy prep work and and and built himself up so that he could be ivy league material to go to college and then he’d end up finding a program at a state college or State University that that he was happy with and we know I’m happy with location happy with the programming cetera and I me I dropped out literally in sixth grade was in and out of rehab and got maybe another couple of former formal semesters of high school and then dropped out again after that and then I a couple years later I got a GED and then we both end up starting at the same State University together at the same the same time and I had that been the complete antithesis of the discipline and academic rigor that he put in and we both started the same place even though we had to come about it until we different ways but I also was getting straight A’s and was dedicated so I think this is just you know that all that is to say there’s people who are rich and unhappy and don’t know what to do themselves and they’re throwing all kinds of money away and all kinds of drugs and experiences and you’re going at this is international expiration with you’re surrendering to a to the Divine forces that are guiding your your your destiny and that and I’m always impressed I’m always jealous Pac-Man you ear like living it up with the fuck all you got to do and I’m going out there listening who wants to know how to how to do it on doing are you going to do like why am I crazy like I thought I thought I had and this is the opposite of what I however I should I should restate that live your dreams like to be free to live their dreams you have to have like the Living Like Blood Parts select thing beating out of you and you have to take it and learn how to take it standing up and then smile and how does a gold medal physical and emotional heart function but for some reason on Earth why don’t you just finish it down was it yesterday in the morning and you say because I want to know of a solution and all you got is like you and Siri are you going to still that hard up with something of beauty they’re going to just like let it become like like Houston broken and like crap the pieces like a kisses ceramic that shatters and so many ways that you can’t apply the consumer D art form to like naked better to make it more gorgeous from before I don’t want to let it get to that man in so I didn’t it shows different that’s all you can do right on Manuel what does I think that’s a good sort of just catching up with bed and instead of setting the tone butt so tell me what what have you what are some of the the you’ve been through some nightmare scenarios give us some adventurous kind of thrilling updates on the record and say cuz we are because I don’t say it just lost my mind National way for me or anyone in a kind of situations that I found myself in such as being normal and that’s remember I did it start out normal normal I need to really not know what with all those pills in the nozzle Octonauts and not normal shit was it normal that had that brain injury was it normal that everything went crazy wasn’t normal so here I am like at the base of my life or the beginning of my new life not normal and so like I’m just so freaking proud of myself then I’m alive in Christ figure it out somehow that it was okay to be fucked up in the eyes of others that it was okay to like cars had your relationships and your familial connections and your volume note to Garrison in old friends and colleagues at all if that is okay. Burnt to the ground that it doesn’t actually matter I took to stick around that that and I can’t believe you this is just a process like a moment to moment. This is hard to do the Okemos but I decided to be okay with it cuz I like the sound of that word okayness like okay I want to see I don’t want this palatable how to build in my life just want to go to handle something because well it’s not great but thanks for that you know that okayness and dust you choose to be so all this shit this happened man I can admit that I know that some of it looks real wild and it looks one way and it could be another we live in a reality where we look at the freaking news in the United States obviously something is wrong in society is this also confused and 504 West so you know what I got it I got to stay right there you you have just stumbled upon a masterful mine hack and I am seeing from the outside Dimension as you’re saying but basically what you just described is that we live and we live in this world where the ships hitting the fan and there’s a lack of people feeling a sense of okay now and I really feel like we need to become more comfortable with with all week and we need to deal with our shit so we can feel the Okemos if you catch my drift I catch your drift Iko something’s been plaguing me on the inside because through the process I got it I want to admit it putting you and everyone in that everyone if you are not including everyone that’s a funny thing you know why cuz I respect the heck out of you and I’ve been like it’s been such a long exhausting journey of knowing you that for me is included me being embarrassed and people mixed with you who I just noticed this man was like surviving so much better than me and I keep coming this beautiful human being that I only dreamed like 3 years ago or whatever we got to reconnecting and I am pathetic and somehow believe I have you feel like we’re on the same level of me I mean I have nothing but but like respect for you by Prince you’ve accomplished so much and you’ve accomplished things that I am still still dreaming about accomplishing so it’s it’s a mutual you know Mutual sensitive of respect and admiration man it’s always so it’s the way it should be mad it’s like to skateboard is trying to learn learn new tricks together you know thank you man and thank you and the reason why I came I was about to say what I’m about to say this because the process of the journey this is bent for me is not just included me it’s included lots of other people sung by choice and then probably just a son who just ended up in the crossfire of my life because of other reasons that they may may may not have been aware of or been aware of their participation and and and it’s not okay to not swear on the show oh my God they say it’s because because I hurt all the time give a presentation on anyways and so that’s kind of what kind of what works for me man and his wife said that like cuz I look up to you as somebody who has just like refining for himself and it’s showing the whole world like this is what it looks like to be in a process of yourself and be better with better and better and better I was like my God I could never be anywhere near the degree of what are some sleep when you go through the process of becoming you when you’re like burns down and you don’t know what to do in the fall Society is his his his either confused with you you’re a huge mistake the doctor that’s a Schism you just get into situations that could be desperate and you might not know that you’re desperately might not know you getting into you might not know it’s going to happen next cuz how could you and then you get into this situation where you get into things with people with money and then Todd relationship stuff cuz I was like a weird dude already have to learn how to be like in today and all this crazy shit that I don’t know about your kid and like you’re always conduct yourself in the way that you wish and I wish you felt embarrassed that like this like how did you get here like one of these crazy stories amazing stories that I want to share with you a few but it wouldn’t be fair to me to the universe who knows me and watches this happen at the end of my reality who was the recipient or have experienced just knowing somebody in whatever way when they go into the burning down with your going through the process of Awakening that’s an ugly and painful and frankly does a lot of people who got caught up in that and I would every day with the with trying to like become more pure knowing how screwed up things worth time and knowing that your casualties to getting to a better place and that’s just a preface if you will to talk and but all the good cuz frankly like recently somebody had posted something online in response to something I’d written and they said they dude guy Craig I was like yeah really you ask cuz this wasn’t for me I’m in the process of doing fasting from social media and the more I take a step back from it the less I want to return back into that that mine state and f deleted some accounts I’ve just taken some apps off my phone Note sometimes I bring them back or not but I know a lot of the frenzy that you would get sucked into with trolling and drama online at school it’s Way Beyond normal human capacity to have any level of that kind of interaction and so I think everybody got everybody’s got taken for a ride and I think there’s only a few people who who. So I just burnt out but but really Purge that that toxic soup of emotions that comes from being in that frenzy and actually has the wherewithal to create distance so I’m wondering I mean you wrote the book on on peer supported mental health and now it seems like you’re going to have to write a book all about how to either navigate or avoid or moderate social media right wow the funny thing is that a you’re right about the social-media thing dude I want to write letters I think I love the fact that we can communicate and all this shit then it is just destructive Beyond any any you or you do understand cuz we’re taking the brakes and destructive Beyond any capacity that I have to use to find a better word with my. If I may say so Larry man like I totally feel that makes think about it it’s not constructive most the time when you’re not dealing with people who have skin in the game to a point where they feel like they’re they have to be accountable to not overdo insults and overdue criticisms it’s like if you were a tribe living together and you knew everybody everybody knew each other since birth and everybody was mutually interdependent for survival then you would have restraint when it comes to the extent of abuse that you would tolerate that you were perpetuate but when you’re totally disconnected then you have no skin in the game for survival with you with a group of people it is literally the most unconstructive way to process emotions information actual important social issues and Community issues that come up so please man yeah go out let’s just open that can of worms and laments profusely about that I think people need to get some that shaking out of that Paradigm will be well I think it’s constructive thing to do with all this beat it because there’s so many to choose from in my in my soda. I was thinking about that you asked me to write a book about social media like crazy out-of-control the truth is always some truth behind what’s going on that’s funny or not funny or not is that this really happens I like a guy ask you know if I hear you perfect out of control destructive I wish you could see right now and if you like like lights flashing I’m actually having my hands in the air like I am the king of the awful idle control crazy person public meltdown we shouldn’t be who I am today if I celebrate that ships the best baby should be a book or went to learn how to not do what I did cuz maybe my way is not the right way for everyone but the reality also is the Crux of all that is that the freaking internet and that social media chaos that I was unprepared for is it crazy person adult trying to find his way that was destructive they probably not just for me probably thousands of people or more out there who taught Derek distances that collapsed because they didn’t know how to manage cuz how could you learn if you didn’t know how yeah that is so Insidious it just creeps up and with so many things now I mean that it’s it’s cliche to talk about how the dystopian sci-fi of the 1980s which was what really Prime me for being prepared to deal with this time and being a warrior in this time and it digital Warrior and I still despite that training of of being skeptical of corporate fascist media Empires and what not I I live drink of plenty of their Kool-Aid and now I’m really thinking about how much I’ve leaked about my interests my desires that people who have wanted to be involved with romantically and the processes of all that stuff is basically being molested by those social media Giants and and I’m glad that I did not take it to the extreme to let people do which is actually like a lot of negativity and a lot of drama and a lot of accusations and yeah I feel like there’s a state of grace that is refusing to to participate in that in that should have been punk rock an Arco pump DIY 101 I mean we were always rebelling against the mainstream and back then it was the mainstream media and it was the one directional media of of the power elite news organizations and there was ziens and I like the way that social networks online could be decentralised but there was it there was actually an addict his backbone to that where it was people who were peer-to-peer building forums and building networks in chat rooms that were they weren’t being puppeteered by these these forces that are really there to serve the state ultimately to Amy so ever you want to talk about just let us bring this back to it to who we really are a man as like as anarcho-punks who were trained to think critically about technology and about corporate Fascism and the mainstream and then watching and watching ourselves get sucked into it watching other people get seduced and sucked into it and like how do we resist how do we repeal and fucking in Break Free then yeah yeah I respect you all Whenever there were born okay and basically what this comes down to is the difference between a fanzine and a Zine so we grew up grew up in this like reality where your existence fish eat that text that need within your soul and your spirit your heart to have an understanding to connect with the world in a way that brought you the feeling of like you belong that you were part of something that mattered that was what we call fancy right if you want to like try to give a little bit of a I don’t have described it with the word is a metaphor I don’t know when there’s also looks like her internet and then I just went over that and then it’s not meant to or with your is a 2018 something like that it is the difference cuz in the context of social media excetera that. That’s a defined difference between when you are living in an era an era where you haven’t desperation that is coming from this blooming devastating oppression that I have a sense about cuz we know as opposed to living in an era in a society where you yourself are being basically programs and I’m not trying to talk about some sort of like cuz we don’t we can’t see it happening is happening in Plainview people to be trained to be a certain way so that’s why you were programmed to almost beat our own enemy and what we were going up with back in the day and I’m just going to help my do by David Guetta in the late 1980s I’m not going to beat around the bush here about that it was different we tried to communicate and understand and learn and educate and Shear in very different ways that did teach us a way to be in the world that I’m certain you will agree allowed us now we have success as I’d like free people quote the same doing and be because we’ve learned in in times in through methods that were popular then and almost unheard-of now up the punx to that brother yeah man it’s funny cuz this whole thing about fake news it’s like back in my day was all fake news what he’s talking about like you wouldn’t trust any new source anyway and there it is just as weird commingling now everybody being sucked into the Demi celebrity trip to of of the the platforms that make you yawn I’m I’m kind of in recovery from from drinking the Kool-Aid to man sex you want to keep up with it that we were ejected all that and anyway I don’t want to get hung up on that on that topic but I know that a lot of the suffering that you have disclosed to me privately comes from just being Dogpile on the internet you know yeah it’s because I started get rid of all those people where they got rid of me or with mutual or it wasn’t but either way it happens does it is disconnected people don’t make you feel good and just I just it’s Ash and it that have to happen if I feel personal about anything I ever did cuz I did was like face reality here but not always been an easy field person and that I had to use I have to push people away because of my own craziness and Highway but nonetheless coming to bite my tongue well yeah sounds like you have a healthy sense of taking responsibility for things as one thing I love talking about is if there’s no there’s no bifurcation really in your personality you know you are who you are and you don’t the candy coat that very often sounds like for people to get in love it or leave it for one moment I want to make a statement here at that you’ll agree it’s okay I’m completely I’m completely nuts and I’m definitely if you can put this in quotes but I mean I propose cuz it’s I think it’s a great courses true and in quotes right here I’m good crazy I think for the first time in my life like yeah so what I know this is a bit crazy like I can look so what about yesterday right now and tomorrow and the next day I could just make more good crazy happen I’m so sick and tired of that crazy and I could learn to hold burning down of everything so I could get rid of that bad crazy what do I do whatever I have to do including and a much to the weather for next to the disdain for the right word but it’s good enough I come from it with truth which makes it pretty hard core but also I’m doing it because I don’t want to have it be an issue anymore so that’s craziness go out of control on the internet and then have a V8 if you will occur Abernethy Bridge with some that is very necessary if you need to heal then so be it but I’m also purifying so deep deep traumatic abuse that I experienced and if I’m not going to have a really group of participants or people in my life is one of his old stuff it’s still going to come out and I sure as heck ain’t going to end my life because our or go crazy in a way that’s going to get me locked up in a bad way Lawrence OB I’m going to put my shit out there I’m going to speak the truth and I’m going to let let that be how people figure out what’s up what’s not what matters and what doesn’t button in no way shape or form do I do any of this because I want to it’s because healing comes from getting out of your system to things that aren’t making you feel toxic and that can include interpersonal stuff you can food a thousand different things and I and not going to be silent if being sounds will keep me sick so speaking truth whether its preferred welcomed or not it is actually putting an end to the hurt and that that does also result in and include who serving of ties with many sometimes it’s unfortunately intentional but who matters here for me more than me just like anyone anyone else is the matter for them most at first you need to matter to themselves first and then most importantly so that’s life and I’d rather just choose the most Ford and let the let the heck’s come because the more I get hit the more I’m sure I’ll Never Smile act like its neck and that right there I believe that everyone else had the world to learn how to do and it’s Graham said out of would never put this on lips Alston and Lasting here sorry I go on and on I’m not sorry actually grateful for that time the more people learn the Dakin’s like punched and kicked their way out of the traps that they feel themselves and that doesn’t mean that’s because if it’s a whole process of getting yourself to where you need to be I want everyone to know that everyone can do that it’s going to suck but if I can do this in a Hertz at continuing low I mean living evidence that you can continue to land on your feet than everyone else can too and I don’t care for what I have to say you can do to go live your life and do the best you can be in frankly that’s what I’m doing so fuck off but still please do your thing so you can have everything that I’m going to yeah that was a time and experience as each day goes forward to live in that happiness cuz I want it and you can have the same thing so like fuck I’ll see you later come on back whatever but piece that sounds good man well I know some people who were listening to same I feel kind of lost on what what it is what kind of dancing around here if you don’t know how I know you know you can obviously be as candid or as reserved as you’d like but I feel like it is I would say correct me if I’m wrong but in a broad sense you you stood up to seven justices in the world and that kind of cause the shitstorm of not okayness that week but you prevailed your okayness prevailed over there not okay Miss in the midst of a shitstorm online and not just on its just oh my God can you break that down for us to whatever extent you know isn’t they’re breaching confidentiality or probably not actually not in jeopardy. The funny thing check it out how about I have the moment there who doesn’t you think you have to do when you produce this thing later that they released you have to just two levels and now you know you might take a note oh my God yeah man and just try to keep it brief cuz I can’t be a maniac about this I got to try to come best light for my good for yours in the whole world that you’re you’re Mania Mania Maniac don’t know what was basically I got freaking screwed for doing my job and it’s okay I went to work I was working as a mental health worker I loved what I did and he might stem from the first report back to the Survivor background I was trained and frankly Grant I’m glad it all happened because I couldn’t I don’t have a day job working someplace and having a bad Vibe by the rules of the system which ultimately dictate working in another house feel like I was I was working at this mental health place that was running all about people live experience week we’re all certified peer specialist I love what I did and was your place different part of the state but I buy a new company little did I know that the guy I was working with what’s the sticker McDonald’s scary misogynist I wasn’t familiar with like that degree of creepiest and I was also supposed to be professional and I was getting paid and I had to work another place you working at the mental health worker you have to adhere to certain rules and guidelines of course cuz if you don’t I’ll call Nicole borders new teachers Nursery School teachers in a kindergarten doctors excetera East you have you aware of abuse of a person or in your care if you will or but you have suspicions of it which is also legitimate your required by law in laws law whatever you can take it or leave it what lies you believe in cuz look in the United States right now it’s crazy how ever this is something that we all hold true when you working in the in the human services are helping professions that said it was my requirements that I had no choice to make a report because there was a situation that just frankly was as it turned out was bad this is not an acceptable thing for some people that I expose this in a series of extremely disgusting things occurred and I ended up looking like the bad guy and they really made this The Narrative we will and papers well and ultimately they found out that the report I made was true they found out to the guy that I’ve reported was documented by independent clinicians Adams facility that didn’t work for a company contract in this pretty I’m kind of providers giving groups support groups and then they knew because my report was the same as theirs and they never put it to the facility that my report was already known so they knew they had a guy in there who was behaving a predatory waste for months for two months then he got caught again but but other people who documented the sexualised behaviour and once they had found out that my report was true of any of the guy who is the supervisor my supervisor without telling anybody. Even the assistant director of the HR Director secretly after I didn’t report and it put it back into the same place where I’ve reported what he was doing then he got caught again twice too much later I feel like I’m describing once they had knowledge that I was telling the truth well that wasn’t acceptable and that was the end was me as I knew it was the end of my career as I knew it it was the end of everything I knew and this is during the same time. That after 28 years of my life being intentionally harmed by psychiatric medication for the purpose of keeping me quite I was able to get off of all this I cash medications in fact with the insistence of a team that’s more than one psychiatrist insisting that it was a medication making me sick and they need to take all the diagnosis on my file and the whole nine yards man 20 years of my life on a bunch of bulshit give him his pills and you need sick many everyone throughout my life experience 28 years I mean tonight to you need when I met you in person at all the crazy thing happened at that show moving forward but this is all under the clown under the fog of psychiatric pills that were given to me to shut me out to keep me quiet about Happy with a child adapt a bunch of psychiatrist now when that time. Ike 2008 1314 look at my medical documents and look at me and look at the book I can read and look at how everything does not make sense and say you don’t have these conditions that you’ve been medicated for all your life that it was known you for 28 years as a person drugged you need to go out these pills cuz they are making you sick you’ll never have a chance to have a better life to continue to take the pill this is being sent to me of yet by psychiatrist is it we’re changing what your diagnosis on your medical record you do not have these conditions and I went and I saw my primary care physician in the file and right there just as they said debunks debunk ebox trauma course the charm is there cuz well that’s what happens if you 20 years to be confused this thing with the job is happening at the same time. That I’m getting off these pills and I’ve gone to heels with vinegar text mountain people that my community are angry at me also just left me for side of my job and then I go to Europe for the first time the person I was traveling with to give a presentation a t a take a conference I first time ever going to Europe dream come true after that conference I went into a sauna and Upsala I managed to me within 10 minutes my body had had basically detox rapidly and from it within the fat cells in my body after 20 years of taking psychiatric medication like tearing off the doctors help I did Poison myself in Riga Latvia and I was never the same since I started to slur my words and I was fried more more crazy stuff happen ultimately with all resulted from this is that I lost my home in January 2018 that’s my cat January 2018 I already lost most of my friends call these people thought I was crazy I got into Financial stuff also get social things like most my friendships are getting more and more the tax I lost a bunch of my personal stuff and most people like it truly care about and I still do you know what a live with no real idea what I’m going to do to try to listen to travel the world and find a way to create a new life find a way to connect with other people to find a way to Love by the way to connect by the way I create a new business and Nueva to survive using the foci are offered in different languages and also the English language like you crying and Kosovo you know it Poland and and giving presentations are in and talk circles in in in in you name it healing from trauma healing from abuse how to survive being possible he has been crazy sometimes I misunderstood all the time trying to learn how to be because I never learned as a child I never had a coming-of-age I was drugged for 14 on to all the cells have the same time I totally feel comfortable in my own country I don’t think I can work this is presents about me just like it’s like psychosis around me that like this guy why was he sick while he was mentally sick of these other word but in fact maybe I was drugged how can you explain to somebody week like that wasn’t you it wasn’t me but it looks like you sounds like you I can’t quite I said the pills pills were what were making me so fucked up or how am I supposed to know the difference your right respect all I can do is say you’re right you experience that crazy shit with me and that was real few doesn’t matter if it wasn’t me it was because of I was poisoned for my own good of course that’s what happened so I can only say goodbye and I can’t change that to this is the reality the past four years is always have these things happening in the world disconnected from people from people that have no more going to call ain’t going to call anybody you know is going to pick up that’s how do you find whis when you don’t feel comfortable in your own land cuz you your language is English it’s a dominant language in the world and and you’re a guy easy to just try to reconnect after all these years of chaos you supposed to be a certain weight verifications of you you can escape to past so what are you do what did I do what the heck out of there as I said travel the world very difficult very painful very lonely very hard very beautiful and in that 15 months how do they communicate with people with languages that we do not share what do you do how do you find your weight you can’t just go crazy like I did in a couple years was the way somewhere West getting killed in the airport in Paris I lost my shit you can’t do that you have to learn how to connect on a spiritual level that you can’t communicate people will know your energy just like a cat or a dog you can’t let them experience you went away that you’re going to be repelled by how you learn how to do that how do you learn that’s what you learned and that’s what the story that’s what the backstory is the backstory is a story it’s like five or six what’s it like in your own way with wreck somebody happening at the same time and just by the grace of whatever it is you believe I resulted it was Ulta didn’t me finally getting to the point of saying screw it almost going to go live why can Liz get a Visa they did and take a little money had and get a a place that was furnished and so I did and how I live in a community and I need some friends and that’s the story that’s that’s what you’re asking me it’s like a 15 minute monologue but that’s what the story is it should make enough sense of all this meat is missing tons of pieces that music house ugliness lost torture resulted and be speaking about all we have prior to keep me answering the question if it was up to them that being a store that I can talk about with a smile and with some sort of like humor because I know what resulted in like where I’m at now thank you so what is the advice you have for people who are whistleblowing in organizations where it sounds like sounds like you were is a recipe for disaster in that because anyone could say that your credibility under those circumstances everybody in a situation is the pot calling the kettle black and in a sense so for people who are direct me totally just a source of your strength to overcome oh my God it was it wrecked me I can’t believe them alive direct me so much that I’m laughing about it because it’s like well at the very least it’s always warm here like every piece of shit wasn’t nice to me back in Massachusetts I guess what in the winter you going to pay for that heat and for those of you out there who struggle so I don’t have to deal with that anymore thank you thank you I could have stand I’m coming around to this myself which is that I feel like there is there was a time where I felt like I had to go out there and I had to add jatate and and have a high risk tolerance and a high risk appetite for being involved in the potential for liability of the potential for things sort of backfiring it in in in in doing my work and now I feel like I survived some pretty epic chapters of risk and now I’m finding myself more risk-averse and less risk tolerant and wanting and actually being able to say no but I’d rather not put myself at risk by not that I’m totally disengaging from everything but I will say that that the the duty that I felt I had to be out there in the mix of a lot of chaos I don’t feel that that I feel like I I slay that Dragon I slay those demons and and I can live with myself comfortably not feeling like a coward and not feeling like I was avoiding those those efforts and I wondering if you feel now and it is something that make people can resonate with that they can learn powers that you know you don’t have to fight every battle you can choose your battles as long as you fight some battles and even if you don’t win you survive but you know you did what was right you don’t have to keep doing that forever and you can get yourself the fuck out and go and retire from The Madness of fighting a lot of struggles where it’s a losing battle sometimes and you can just enjoy the face so you know live to fight another day you know you know they say Don’t run you can run away and live to fight another day or you could stay in a place that you’re not going to get out of one piece nnn regret it so I don’t know just want to say that I congratulate you for for doing the right thing and then getting a fuck out of there before you did actually get completely destroyed you know yet well you know what me and your trusty Craig motherfuking Lewis you know that’s what happens when your trusty Craig fucking crazy person Louis I just don’t need that to be sampled probably just got myself some was going to have fun with me with that but that’s okay it doesn’t have a certain that what was the question Bedford just let me be me to take two more of a general commentary and sense of wanting to see the bigger picture which is that sometimes I guess I was seeing if I feel the same way about the politics of insurrectionary Street protests and you put yourself out there and you put yourself in a meat grinder lot of people do and they end up in really serious trouble that they didn’t bargain for that it’s not really sustainable certain forms of resistance are not really sustainable there’s new waves of of people who are going to come up into that but you have to know when to win to what’s the country song what’s the country song when you know how to hold them oh my God yeah it is you don’t talk about anything yeah yeah quit while you’re ahead and I was going to quit while I was ahead I should have just never done shit about the so I made a decision take out the stand on my two feet and stand up when I knew was true and for what I knew was the correct thing to do and to what someone ever did for me when I was 15 years old and then that horrible facility being feminized and section leak destroyed and and and humiliated and have a whole life taken when I was 15 in those two so they locked me up in just got too many times I had no way weather right I didn’t even know if I believe in the Universal God whatever they want to call it if I want to call it whenever I look to you for my my my my my my peace I didn’t know dude in 2015 that’s what I was doing that was a sending that to a better place cuz of what all I was experienced by me throughout my life but there was no way there was no way any any shape or form that I was going to permit and using my legally-protected role as a mandated reporter there was no way I was going to permit what I was witnessing happening in front of me to people who were the victim of assault and simple ways I was when I was a kid and when I was a kid I asked for help and no one helped me I would love to rot and take it there was no way and 2015 that I was going to break from my responsibilities and I just didn’t legal responsibility responsibility responsibility but the opportunity to make sure using my power that I had been given by becoming certified to work in the role of I had been working in there was no way I was going to go to deviate from that there was no way I was going helping that individual with a moment of peace when I was not afforded the very same thing that I deserve as much as everyone who’s ever been a situation like that woman was deserved and I stood in my two feet and I would do the same thing right now again because it was the right thing to do and I will always go to look myself in the mirror and a camera and whatever I never that was right now looking forward to move on and it doesn’t matter that like I got crushed in the process and it come on how many people are going to listen to this I thought his back but I want to hear about like awesome stuff like so what like what kind of fool of myself are so funny and it’s true what kind of fool thinks it’s a good idea business right now you all know them for one important reason it is important as a valid and it’s to be honored and respected but it does not mean you should do business-to-business okay and you don’t do people like yourself what’s a crazy people that word with deep affection Love because as professionally as I previously identified I want to be good crazy so maybe good crazy so that’s where I go to stay However maybe not everyone’s good crazy maybe I’ve not always been good crazy not truth what a terrible idea to work intimately with people cool ultimately it’s true cuz he went to humans ultimately it will save their own skin for doing the right thing because not everybody is not their fault it’s the reality is reality. Everybody grows up with like a street addict or knowing how it is to be closer to the bottom and I fortunately or unfortunately I am how you stated feeling perceive things many of the people that must have people that I was involved with what are of a higher class if you will or better way of living or a different kind of environment that allow after Sosa to delete it I never had it so I don’t blame them for Being Human but certainly did lack of understanding of what it meant to do what was right was more within me as a person who was straight talk and someone who grew up in just I guess nicer and perhaps more supportive of surroundings which I did not Amen brother that’s the truth right on that what I think yeah we should I think we should call it a show at I was at Adventure I was expected nothing less than and definitely you delivered on bringing bringing the the the healthy crazy that healthy and powered acknowledgement of what it takes in like hey was the word of of CO2 I remember that song Still if we’re never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy right so I believe that I believe it I feel it I’m the same way I’m definitely letting go on some innovations that have helped me back and I’m feeling more free and more wild and less less compromising to people who may not agree or understand what I’m trying to do and there’s a way to there’s a I think there’s a way you’re proving it and I’m I’m catching up to you honestly about getting to a point where you just you give no fuks about being a walk in your truth in speaking your mind and people don’t like it they can they can shove it up their okayness yeah and I’m okay with that closing statement a lubricated sex toy and gently massage it as they relax the sphincter into their anus until they filled okay no I don’t want to use shoving it up your ass says this is your word is because on the township on podcast we are all about putting the anus back into Okemos and putting the penis back into happiness all right have you seen the movie the interview Seth Rogen when they go to North Korea and they interview the North Korean dictator they say that they hate us cuz they ain’t us all the ants talk is that this is going to be listened to and I can ask around closing statement obviously my lots of curious people about Craig Lewis and better days and all this crazy nonsense stop podcasting a plus with all the craziness it’s hard to get work when you’re up when you’re allowed muffins supposed love for myself it’s awesome but all the people are the characters in the world I want to see I love you and I’m grateful for every person who has ever existed in my life including every person who has not been nice to me with every person who is abused me iPhone I am quitting the worst ones and I don’t want you all my life but I do forgive you because that’s the best for my. You’re my love for myself and also I just also think it’s very relevant necessary because I know this would be listen to cuz people whose voice and I’m staying right now will you love me or hate me or whatever it is it’s okay it’s okay because things have been crazy and I wouldn’t want to have to hang out with me sometimes the way things were but I can’t imagine being someone else it was horrible I was going through a living you know what I don’t want to say that word because I choose to like try to be better doesn’t mean that always succeed as you all know that you can I I’m grateful to be here today laughing about it crazy just going on I think some things that come out of my mouth that bow that’s pretty intense stuff sometimes I like using my brain is sometimes you say things that are little bit much so what I’m grateful to be here now I’m grateful to everyone if I’ve hurt your feelings or offended somebody will the problem with a reason but I also feel like that’s not okay so I do apologize for being hurtful because when you’re fighting a battle and you feel like you’re you’re experiencing or you’re proceeding being under some sort of Oppression you do things are sometimes don’t always make sense and you fight me ways that not everyone’s going through Fluevog so I will recognize this truth that goes for everybody including how I’ve communicated with you in the past and I have not been easy so this trip this accountability this acceptance of yes it’s not been pretty getting to this place and I am I in a gray spot now I’m working on it and it’s because I chose to be what I wanted to be and I tried to walk my talk and my Straight Talk sucks sucks sucks so I’ll leave you with this liked my dear friend and be host to talk about just suggested you can just get that lubrication and like jet me like take care of with best the love that you deserve because you deserve to feel good inside and however you find a way to feel good inside I know the tundra parked behind and I think it’s fair to say that I’m behind that to oh my God that sounds crazy that wasn’t even planned that I’m sorry but yeah oh my God I think it’s happened in my brain and that was thank you Universe this is crazy I don’t know what to say if it doesn’t get any simpler than put the anus in Okemos and put the penis and happiness and we will all be living in it beer peace more peaceful or more fulfilling more abundant world man so I think that’s that’s that’s what I asked what it comes down to and and I store is the next time I bought the world travels but that’s what I thought that’s what the best and I want a wonderful rest of your evening and we’ll be in touch again soon I love you so much and I love you so much for listening to the touch of Time Podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition assassini and improving the podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple after bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email said I turned your punk. Com Thomas gay

Spiritual First Aid for Sexual Assault Survivors with Alexandria Baker TPP177

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Alexandria Pic

In this episode I’m joined again by Alexandria Baker, a southern California sex educator, Hatha yoga instructor, ethical luxurious natural beauty and skin care entrepreneur, model, and performance artist.

In our previous episode she shared all about her personal journey, background:
https://tantrapunk.com/sexy-mindfulness-in-lifestyle-and-livelihood-with-alexandria-baker-tpp149/

I was eager to learn of her recent world traveling adventures and sadly discovered in the course of the podcast that she had experienced sexual assault. She boldly shares about the experience, I do my best to apply comforting and empowering stories from my personal battles with surviving sexual trauma. We compare notes and agree that much more loving, care, safe space is needed culturally to seriously address the the plague of abuse.

Please visit her website and Youtube channel at:

https://www.fromalexandria.com/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcTemJEFn3GVpGuCbJnu6Yg

AI Generated Transcription:
(Want to help with corrections? Please contact me to learn about rewards for your efforts!)

Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast episode number 177 I’m being rejoined by Alexandria Baker who is a Southern California sex educator Hatha Yoga instructor ethical luxurious natural beauty and skincare entrepreneur model and performance artists and we didn’t episode called sexy mindfulness in lifestyle and livelihood and that was supposed to number 149 so I encourage you to reference that and go back and check that out to get more of the origin story of Alexandria’s super heroic efforts in the world and we’re about to hear an update from from her recent Journeys have brought into studies and I’ve only been getting beautiful glimpses on Instagram here and there so this is going to be exciting exciting round of updates from who I hope will be a regular correspondent here on the 5 chest it was a pleasure last time and it is a pleasure now and yeah but when was that that was back in April so a lot has happened since then and we ended our last podcast on a bit of a teaser discussing the center for positive sexualities first conference that I was speaking at and that has come and gone and it has created this magical little nest in my heart of and something that I am now starting to really give birth and rice to riches giving more guided meditations and being able to present mindfulness with sexuality and these fears that perhaps might not have been acquainted with it before but what was so nice about that conference was that I was just one of a few people who actually brought up the topic of mindfulness and so it was a crowd that was someone acquainted with being Mindful and present having a sense of spirituality with the sexual and there are some who are very Green Cemetery need to it and others who were like yeah I do this all the time but it was a really Welcome Avenue for this mental and spiritual exploration and so to see people tuned in and then dial into themselves as I was talking about connecting with your sexy self in a spiritual way was just so awesome and beautiful and this is a great time to continue to develop them right to spread the seeds and let this let these eggs hatch into a beautiful birds that I can fly so that was the conference and since then I have been traveling to Europe and West Africa to meditation and yoga and it’s been a beautiful blessing and really really tough challenges well we can get into that yeah please do yeah I’m riveted knowing that you get to travel so much and and I’m all have questions but I love for you to just keep rolling in to give us like the the chronology you know and the itinerary and all that good stuff I was so I left in the middle of the end of July to go to Malta for a month and there it was really about developing my personal practice and it is very focused and driven and really into my body and inhabiting the space and what is a teeny tiny Island that’s below Sicily which is below the boot of Italy and there’s some things going on but at the same time it was also I felt very isolated and so it was a challenge to not have a bunch of friends around that I can just call and hang out if it was a time till I get my books in writing and really work on myself so there were parts of it ever really hard and lonely but also turning Inward and the connecting with the spiritual finding myself my core and from there I moved on to Madrid Spain and I was in the church for a few weeks and I started to do more of my performance training which is primarily with the Leroy which is a suspended suspended ring that was awesome and I have all the little there around southern Spain went back to Madrid from Madrid to Lisbon Portugal I was there for three nights then Portugal fluid to the car Senegal I was there for a few weeks and I went to The Gambia and kind of so this is a country that’s on the western side of Africa and north of that is a little sliver of a country The Gambia I was there for a week return to Senegal back to Lisbon for a little less than a week I was in Spain I want to travel to Barcelona and explore in North Eastern side of spade and go into the south of France and clear out in the mountains and come back down drove down there for a while continue to teach you take classes that was a journey of about four months of teaching and falling in love with myself and other people and practice medicine allowing myself to and it sometimes not allowing myself but just being totally gutted and exposed to the core and having these really intense experiences and I’m not really beautiful and some that were really hard but you’re all that I’m doing my best to slam girl from it took to be able to find gig type work I can sit around the world so I’m curious if you could elaborate on the the planning and forethought and design that went into kind of brought it sound, it sounds almost like you were you booked almost like a chore to do your teachings intimate in to provide your offerings and I’m wondering if that was something you did kind of in advance or if it was just you go to a place and you ask around and you put up with you know a sign and a window or I don’t know I’m so curious how you how you get to be blessed to the level of being able to just take a shower on the road and in not as so they have a booking agent or not yeah I have no idea of the sounds great. Sounds like a great way to have a vacation travel go to business totally that’s absolutely but it was and when it comes to travel I’m a bit of a wild woman I have an idea of the types of things that I would like to do or what I want to experience or maybe these I have a huge list of places that I want to see so I’ll think okay I want to go to this beach so how can I make it happen that’s not what happened for this trip my initial intention for going out to Spain which was Miley main point was to go to school but with the beautiful ways that FAFSA and other the economics of University goes it didn’t work out and instead of just like being super bummed about it or coming home early as I did come home early but I was planning on staying out there for a year I messaged one of my girlfriends who I am connected to through performance and asked her about I I I sent her a message and ask where should I go in Africa I’ve never been I want to experience that I want to explore maybe Morocco Egypt and I’m going to be in Senegal on these dates does this work out and it worked out perfectly and she has an organization the gambian marine and Environmental Conservation and initiative which is dedicated to protecting and preserving The Gambia through immediate action and Community Development that I’m just so behind I love it I love watching her grow and seeing her journey and the things that she’s doing for for her country and I said okay how can I be a part of this what can I do and she’s a dance instructor so she has connections at Studios and with interested people who like to move back active and it was just a beautiful Snowball Effect of I connected with one studio and then I looked an air B&B to stay out for the week and then the hostess happened to go to a studio just their instructors left to go back home the week before so it was like why all of these things are happening in a really beautiful amazing way because I I just allowed things to happen not to say that I was 100% okay with school not working out and it wasn’t a bummer because in many ways it was but I moved past that move through that and thoughts okay what what can I do now what do I want to do I want to teach yoga I want to teach meditation I want surf I want to spend time on the beach I would like to do dance classes and I really really want to be a part of this organization and let every way that I can and we made it happen my friend’s name is yandere and she’s at our house Superwoman so a lot of the connections and West Africa came through her bikini is it there nice to have friends that’s what friends are for booking you on Amazing Adventures in elderly severe so what is that how does from what from what I understand you were on a trajectory of doing but what would you call it a kind of Orthodox medicine degree to be able to use that stuff is that still in the works or how does that affect that that life goal and my ultimate career goal is to be an osteopath so that’s why I would do the same things as a doctor but it’s a few more months of Hands-On training so that I can diagnose and treat with my hands so it’s more holistic and looking at the whole person then me not being in school during that time that I was in Europe in West Africa pushes through States up at least a year at this point because some other plans have changed but what was all so wonderful about that instead of going for credits just to increase like on The Bachelor level now I’m looking at getting my master’s degree in an exercise science so that I can have the prerequisites completed for medical school and now I have an additional degree and I’ll be able to be a way better yoga instructor with more information about how the Body Works in just whole body systems and more and more practice with that that’s what I love and I’m happy that I’ll be able to be at better practitioner and provider yeah I’ve always wish I had more time to well I guess I will say I’m looking forward to when I’m successful enough to wear certain certain responsibilities and precious in my life for our or minimize to where I can actually catch up to a lot of self-study that I wanted to do including anatomy and physiology and all the systems in and I was just fascinated in the the exposure that I had had in standard education I guess and certainly when it applies to healing in all of this super esoteric yoga guy actually have a book called esoteric systems of the body or something and esoteric anatomy of the body and it’s just I’m salivating too real to say two in it goes over all these esoteric traditions and but it has all these maps of the body in maps of different Energy Systems and I just can’t wait to see how they said the size it just so much beautiful scholarship and I would like to yeah I’d like to compare notes cuz you you move in that direction so is that something that you have already begun kind of studying on your own how would you say that like I’m curious if you could talk just about some of the things that excite you about that field some of the things that you’ve already discovered there and absolutely and before we get into that book sounds super yummy and I definitely want to have a good title of it again in the author so that I can get my hands on that and we will certainly pick up rhino but now that I’ve taken you years off of formal education in a university setting I am turning to my notorious and I trainers and teachers and really asking questions about okay when I do when you told me to do this particular movement on the pole where is that coming from to understand that it’s not just my ankle that’s attaching to this large metal rod it’s I’m the movements coming from my head been so when and how to stop move or shift my my abdomen and my shoulders like what positioning do I need to be internally make V to get the quality of the movement’s correct so that I can be safe and also look pretty while I’m doing it so to have a deeper understanding and a physical level is right now the intention that I’m holding when I go into my practice in my training so that I can not only do this well but I’ll be able to teach her that at a certain point unlevel so really leaning into the support that I have been doing as much as I can turn a too much for the others and dial-in on my health practices I I’m trying to consume as much as I can on my own and with the help of me awesome well me and all of the community here at Township on podcasts will be your Study Buddies cuz this is so stiff for everybody wants to up level the stuff and I actually this it makes me think a lot about the difference between more traditional modes of teaching a martial arts and Healing Arts and sexual Arts it’s it’s like they used to be understanding by students that there would be riddles and mysticism and levels of knowledge and you couldn’t just show up to meet up for free or for five bucks and just start picking the brain of the master pack all of their secrets and if they don’t give it to you in a timely manner you’re going to get him a bad Yelp review and so I feel like God now if ever teach anything I have to be armed with so much Western Scientific backup knowledge because people will want to interrogate you and know what if this interests but from a personal level I would say that most of my students have been very very humble and very very they’re interested they want to know where I get my information from for sure I mean some of them do others are just I can help me get into this meditative state so that I can go to sleep that’s all I want but I actually really enjoy the ones who are challenging me and they want more information and they want me to like be on my game and I’m young and there’s only so much knowledge that I contain in this vessel at this point so sometimes it’s the journey where we learn together and all that you know I might not know this now but I’ll look it up and then I’ll send him a message later and we’ll talk about it in the next class and that encourages me to see where my edges are Beyond it and have only had a couple I have had some private students but they were also my friends who were giving me a really more of a hard time about back to the scientific studies that they wanted proof about certain things I couldn’t give a solid example but yeah I’ve had to take deep breaths and okay well this is what I know at this point and we’re going to do this practice together and it’ll be as good as I can be in as good as we can be together and it’ll continue to get better but for now we both need a little bit of patience challenging well I appreciate your approach to that night I can often feel the same the same way that it’s it’s a it’s an artificial I just feel like there’s thanks to you the capitalist system that has broken himself into pieces we don’t have a way of learning we have opportunities to learn this important kind of fun public knowledge a lot of it would have been very public knowledge and a lot of I mean just imagine if everybody if you’ll go was if it was a yoga studio at every playground for recess and that that was part of a routine and so the cultures where meditation and mindfulness and spiritual practices that were I guess you could say more embodied than just sitting still and listening to someone yell at you or something more of those worn by the practices since they’re so lacking people are or seeking it out and discovering it later in life or maybe having only limited access and what not so it makes sense that I mean it gets the tragedy is that you as a as a certified instructor as someone who is basically gone through a sort of whatever however many hours of a crash course or bootcamp to digest the mythologies and the the Arts and Sciences of so many different competing modalities so many different conflicting modalities and to kind of trying to create these these humble and Valiant yet Valiant attempts to tube to package this material and take for us to individually transmitted to other people it’s a lot to ask and in certainly the older you get the more experience and and and I guess in some cases appropriate kind of seniority you would have in a meritocracy of life experience knowledge but but I do I do like your approach to softening that interrogator vibe in that way of saying let’s learn together because really we should have all learn together and a healthy way and and it gives me gives me some hope I’ve been are very interested to see how you been evolving and so yeah some of the things that we had Vibe down before was the sexuality education the sexual health and and wellness and also psychedelics sexual shamanic therapy treatments and all that good stuff but I spent some interesting developments in the end of General feel that I’m just curious where you’re where you’re at with all that stuff because that was something that we rushed upon as well yeah we did we did talk about that when we when we might but as far as recent developments I’ve been knot on top of what has been happening in the Psychedelic science field lately my focus has been in other direction but what’s happened but what can you tell us about that then I can give my opinion so much love and affection for Rick doblin of the multidisciplinary association of psychedelic studies maps the biggest non-profit pharmaceutical drug development company that’s really ever existed in that continues to just blow my mind with their integrity and their their duty of care rather than take an approach wear your pants during the government to release all restrictions on administering these these compounds to the masses however over the counter or through prescription rather than having that that huge liability and risk it it’s that there’s another way to do it which I had not considered in which they are totally dialing in right now and it makes so much sense and what that is is that rather than having an individual who is who who is in need of the therapeutic value of this of these medicines rather than having them take dosages in like a baggie with their little vial of their little canister and take that and then go out into the insanity of chaos of their existing home life and the existing world then that the idea is that the legal space for the for the administering and for the consumption of the medicine is in a is in a therapeutic context in a clinical setting that is conducted by trained facilitators who may or may not have various medical or academic therapeutic sort of state license credentials but who have at least done with maps is created which is their own custom curriculum for providers of various types types of back and then there’s a line out the door for people who want to get training to train who want to be the trainers if they want to train trainers and they want trainers to be able to go out and create clinics all over the place so that when they get the through the final phases of proving that for one MDMA is safe under certain conditions within certain dosage ranges and then say that but it’s not going to just be mass-marketed and cranked out on conveyor belts and that the drug store is going to be to have access to this medicine in a legal manner you will have to have it be it’ll be in a circumstance where your facilitator doctor therapist Shaman excetra invites you to a space where there are certain medical and procedural practices or protocols being observed very very strictly and then you receive the dosage and that’s putting an only in that setting you’re not giving more to take home and follow up and take two and call me in the morning so contain the containing that risk is so profound to me because that is what I believe is the appropriate way a ceremonial weigh-in modern clinical ceremony away if you will they’re doing their best to bring in the ceremonial and ritualistic element is best they can make they don’t have to do this in a hospital they can create their own clinics in that clinic Canby sacred geometry it can be modeled as it competes should have Ford Explorer texting water and see what I see you to bring the Shivering so that I think that kind of expresses my you know where it would I do so much more so many other amazing doors that have open for them and doors that they thought would have been slamming their face Network gently open to their shoes surprised and so I just encourage anybody to follow up listen to the research Rick doblin on psychedelic Salon podcast in and catch up to to his work but I feel like he is the exception of Bilbo Baggins see if it looks like a hobbit I just can’t get over it and he’s made it through all these years and hasn’t been embroiled in Scandal or controversy and you know I’ve I just think he’s a rare a rare as I don’t know him personally but I will say that Tim Might you know he’s going to benefit me and my colleagues and my fellow survivors and so I think that’s just really interesting and something that you’ve you might consider you know looking into at some point how because I guess I should say one more thing is that this training for specifically for my cats are male female double counselor or dynamic of being at NADA guide per se but being a sort of facilitator for for a treatment I study subject or a client as it were to to have a beautiful experience that is balanced by a masculine feminine energies and if those people are are trained in these certain protocols they developed but that once you have that training done then you were then free to riff off and create your own style to verdigre and also it will be very easy to extrapolate to other medicines other compounds and it’s it’s the container that they’re creating so with all I said I love to hear from you how you feel about what I said in and what comes to the to the surface and for you to react to yeah I really look that and Maps the multidisciplinary association for psychedelic studies is so near and dear to my heart. And mrs. Mason person I’ve only been passing but being around him and hearing how he has affected and touched so many lives and every beautiful positive way gives me so much respect for the work that he and his colleagues and everyone that has to do with our organization similar ones gives them so many pops and I really really appreciative for the work that they’re doing because some people have a sense of understanding of what these compounds are capable of as far as the benefit but now that there is not scientific backing of okay he’s this makes you feel better a week down the line because of this mechanism of action that happens within your system in your body that’s amazing that this is now proven like the proof is in the pudding and that pudding is being offered and it really important container and contacts as you were mentioning it really does just take one bad incident one person said I did this awful thing while I was on she said but while I was under the influence of psilocybin for the government to decide okay well now that’s not going on the road to perhaps legalizing it exciting but obviously it’s bad so we’re not going to and the way that Max is doing it and creating these safe spaces in containers and vetting process to make sure that the set and setting are all in line. They have their ducks in a row to then administer and go through the therapeutic process makes it so that we can understand what’s happening on a scientific level and get the benefits on that personal level and the people that their training I I I one day be able to experience this extensive training so that I may also be able to offer myself and not be as helpful as I can be in in this way because not only are they impacting the people that they encounter what’s in these clinical settings but they’re forever positively alternative I I did send a training so that I would be pure support and just be there for someone who is having any sort of difficult psychological and maybe even physical experience and Ice Festival setting but going beyond that I learned to just be there for people when they’re having something that’s challenging and the way that you talk to someone when they’re experiencing something that can be really difficult will make or break the moment and we don’t have to have trips that are just really horrible and bad and make us afraid of it because there’s a way to know strutting around it with that love and support and having an experienced person there to let you guys jerk you’re tripping understand whatever it is that you need to go through Southern even taking that knowledge outside of a psychedelic experience but with loss and with trauma were just having a bad day you don’t need someone to tell you what to do necessarily but just be there and that makes me really big difference so I learned some awesome life skills through an organization. Maps has created and I’ve learned a lot from maps and not to see what amazing things they’re doing is super cool right on so how do you feel evvie great to hear how you feel about where you where you want to what time will somebody said to me once find what breaks your heart the most and that’s your life purpose to devote yourself to be teach it to do to be in service so I’m curious now if you were travels have have fun how they’ve added to revolve your your sense of purpose in your sense of where you want to be what you want to be doing and where and how and why I’m sure you’ve had some it’s about dates to just your your whole meta-narrative whole framework of reality today really embracing the things that have totally gutted me is what I’ve been living through this month I’m going to be absolutely Frank and give a trigger warning because what I’m going to talk about has to do with sexual assault and Trauma but first blanket statement my trip was wonderful and beautiful in many ways and what happened at the end doesn’t detract from anything that was beneficial or amazing and I still continue to travel and do what I did but my second time around in Lisbon I was I entered into an agreement with someone who is a stranger but a friend of someone I trusted a friend of a friend so as we’re talkin meeting for the first time and learn that needs a massage therapist being a yoga instructor and Super Active I’m like all right what you give massage Let’s do an exchange I haven’t had a massage and a very long time I can totally sit so the time comes for his part of the exchange to happen and I’m receiving this massage and just loving the nice touches and I get into a nice meditative a sweetheart just like vibrating state of enjoyment like not even on this plane and what ends up happening is I get sexually assaulted and moving through that and just having my whole world shaking it was like I was a Snowman in this snow globe in all of this all of the snow off the bottom had been settled things were really chill it was fine I felt like I was in a good place and when that happened that Globe was shaken up and after I was assaulted I immediately felt with my throat get sore and like I started getting really bad head congestion and the physical manifestation of what just happened to me on a physical psychological spiritual level was wholly apparent in my mind and my body at without me really being able to saying like this is how I feel right now because of this some of that came up but it was like I was transported back to the processing level that I was at maybe when I was early twenties was a teenager even I was so out of my body and out of my element in a country where I didn’t speak the language and it was super hard that was I was off my I was off-balance felt horrible and I was just I felt like I was doing so much on my own and I didn’t really have anyone to turn to for support and even when I was talking to my mom about it or my family about it or some friends some people were good at just being a bit like sitting there with it and holding space and letting me processor letting me talk about it I needed and not telling you what to do not telling me how I should feel that just letting me move through it and kind of figure out this trip experience on my own but most of the time it was well you shouldn’t have been in the room with a stranger or as soon as this happened you should have done this or I would have done this or now you need to do X Y and Z like that’s it’s coming from a positive Place most of the time but it wasn’t helpful as I continue to feel better from it and have more Lucidity towards what happened in my emotions and my processing and recognizing that it was actually normal for me to have a day where I just wanted to be in bed and like randomly cry and not want to talk to strangers or wear sweaters when it’s hot outside I just don’t want my body exposed that’s a normal response to an abnormal situation and as I’m thinking what what would I have wanted the people around me to do for me what did I need what how how could if I was a friend how would I support her or him then that went through this experience what can I do better and we don’t I I really only know how to be there for someone who’s been assaulted and been through this trauma because I have and really the training that I received from xando the organization that’s where that part of maps to sit with someone and not guy not tell them what to do but just let them process and figure it out in the support of space I like learned that and I had to be taught that in a different kind of contacts to be there for someone who has been assaulted and we need more of this Hunter training that will help us be a better friend better advocated better cursing in relation to anyone who has been through this and cousin when it comes to a medical contacts that guy I am doing my best to be much more sensitive and much more caring so that I can not be an imposing figure out where someone who’s telling someone how they need to handle their life but just we we all have this innate deep wisdom into what we need to move through things and survive sometimes we need someone to say you got it you know what to do I’ll be here for you you’re not going to fall and if you trip I’ll help you get off it’s okay so with that learning in that understanding a bit more of an understanding its myself and what I needed I am there’s there’s something that certainly and development in love or text you create a container or more a different kind of sensitivity training that isn’t just for it professionals and certain contacts but for anyone who wants to be I support not sure what that looks like 100% but something has got to come out of this something good absolutely will one of the most dramatic results that I experienced at a very tender age was luckily I mean I was running screaming crying spitting gagging I’m glad to be alive but totally in shock and and just devastated and I ran for I don’t know a couple of miles it had to be at least two to go to where I thought I would find the one the one member of my street family gutter Punk tribe who is my the want the the the woman who I was so enamored with and who I will do I beg to take my virginity and and she was just my my queen goddess protector very thin how lucky I was that I found her and that she was there and she just let me curl up on her lap and and cry and like everybody else on the street had been through it and people would walk by and just be like oh yeah your cherry pop welcome to the life you know who you are you know and so and I you know I heard it was interesting just looking back at the the response of those of those folks and just kind of having my flashbacks you know a bit here in in and I would say that it was a blessing coz she she was just a spare changing where I thought you would be on the sidewalk and she just went up she just I was there curled up crying and just kind of nestle into her and she continue to we just were there until very late and we’re just doing what we used to doing what you do what you was doing and luckily she had a place that she was staying so she could have bring me there and let me take a shower and have me lay down and and seal from that point from the extreme of being literally having my life threatened and and being assaulted that’s a combination that is is extra debilitating the to go from being totally spleen out like that with the you know sort of near-death sexual assault experience surviving it escaping finding her and then being in her care for at least that night and those critical hours were I don’t know I don’t know if you know like if I would have gone straight into a squad car or something or straighten to email into it or just not had found her if she wasn’t there I would have gone so much further down into I can’t even imagine it from that cuz I was one of the first and most extreme circumstances I don’t know what is right for you and I don’t know what the most healing or best most appropriate thing is he for you now in this moment or you know there’s no judgment or no would have should have could have hindsight 20-20 I can just say what what what I’ve appreciate about what was helpful for me and how lucky I felt knowing that I guess relative to other people or other conditions where you know I would if I had woken up in a hospital and didn’t even barely remember what happened in only bits and pieces came back over time you notice all kinds of different scenario so I just want to I guess in this moment say thank you to the Angelic spirits that created the synchronicity so that my the pendulum from extreme trauma went to a pendulum of Me Bonding and getting closer with somebody who I feel most comfortable with and who I who could make it possible for me to in a way not hate myself forever and just be like yeah you know what there’s no escaping it there’s you or it was bound to happen and you’re lucky to be alive and we’re here for you and now now you’ll just have to be that much more Street Smart yeah I should have known better why didn’t I do this you know and then and then the and I had already been a martial artists and I’d already been in that was the it’s even more devastating when you think you’re a badass and you like yeah I know all my moves everything but then all it takes is someone to just let you be slightly relaxed and be within your your your inner Zone and then if they’re really have like 50 times as much muscular strength as you there’s not much that you can do no matter how much of a ninja you you tried to be and that that’s probably the biggest hardest thing is to like forget for me forgiving myself for being lured into a defenseless State okay well what if I wasn’t here to be a ring fighter a cage fighter I was here to be a sexual shamanic fight and that I had to have that that knock out that technical knockout had to happen for me to to redouble my efforts into know why I’m here what I would have to know their know their weaknesses and their pattern if I’m at war with this greater monsters entity that is the The Intergalactic Spirit of sexual abusers that is all about animated into some multi-headed monster well I’ve got to expect that that it’s going to knock me down a few times before I knock it down and so in that sense if it was the battle but not the war in it and in it and now all of the battles that I lost Stephanie now is that I feel like yeah you were low-level like a larval demonic perpetrators who who who took cheap shots at me when I was barely developed at all like there’s no sport there there’s no dignity for you there now when we go into the bigger Arena the triumphant attitude and vibe that I want to have it puts in a context of like will coup if you were a spider and you and you really got embarrassingly knocked out like in 2 seconds when the first punch in the ring and everyone laughed at you and it was the most shameful and images demoralizing thing you if if you didn’t notice till I get up and fight and win that round but if you quit your career and you walked off and you spent all your you know you if you built up so much of your life to be a career fighter and you just like fold after one loss then that would be the real tragedy but as long as you take that experience and you learn from it and you and you really study the mistakes and you really look at animals saying this to you like I’m not being paternalistic to you but I’m saying like a zit a sexual shamanic spiritual Warrior that’s what I’d the archetype I’m trying to build here let it go let it we let us all have nothing but winning streaks just because I had the shameful embarrassing sexual exploitation kind of Journey with being a warrior that doesn’t mean that I’m it actually is is is life-affirming and invigorating and I believe that we will we will be assembling teams that will make safety and numbers more more of an established more common kind of Paradigm where we just I mean I’ve even joke let’s just what I would love to just walk back to back for the rest of my life with and with other even it’s like two people you could be walking crab legging back-to-back everywhere you go to the SIP to the mall to the store you know to get on the bus to get anywhere just that level of a vigilance will be what my heart craves and then in a group of people you could all be shoulder-to-shoulder and walking in a circle and just linking arms and slowly moving to this treacherous reality and and I would love to have that that level of full-time Vigilant 24-hour rotating watches total perimeter Security on a rape freezone but right now we’re just going to win a world where if you were just in our loan bodysuits and we’re really for its everything is left to chance and Mercy by those who are willing to do to cheat yeah so I don’t know how you feel and there’s no obligation to respond and I just wanted to share with you what what I at this moment would I have what I feel is the most done revitalizing in in NC refund invigorating as this this work on full of so thank you for acknowledging what I had and we’re also sharing your own experience and I hate that that happened to you and that it happens to people and these creditors feel they can get away with certain things and they know that they can because he do live in a society that is permissive to a lot of behaviors and a lot of things are just so underground that I think they like it’s so outside of everything around for many people that they don’t even believe this these types of experiences that we experienced happen or they find a way to to blame the Survivor because that just makes it make more sense to them like I don’t know it couldn’t have been this other person’s fault but it does and I I wish we could all be so hyper-vigilant for each other that this would eradicate all of me demonic slugs how you speak of but what has been super powerful for me healing and tough as well as speaking about it talking about it letting if I’ve taken a few weeks off of my Instagram social media because things have been not very easy another ways my grandmother passed away but I had the next day after it happened happened on October 23rd and so on October 24th I just wrote it all out and I let it be something that I opened the floor to questions into dialogue and it’s so much more powerful for me this time around because I have been able to control the narrative I have been able to control what I’m putting out in the world in this in this way I was violated but now it’s up to me to shift things in a direction where I have some control again because this hardest thing about this assault wasn’t the violating act in and of itself it was feeling so alone like after I kind of I wasn’t I didn’t outright tell my buddy who’s friend had assaulted me like your friend assaulted me but I said yeah he made me really uncomfortable and appropriate your friends and asshole and I’m going to leave for a while so I went and took myself to dinner and I came back to an empty apartment and I didn’t see him until the following evening I’m already in a country where I’m alone and I wasn’t expecting to we’re we’re not romantic with each other at all or just friends but I wasn’t expecting to not have a friend not have anyone there like he doesn’t have any necessary operation to me but it was really hard and I wasn’t until many many many days after the assault happened that I was able to snuggle up to a person I felt comfortable with just being and cry and let myself be sad and but myself start to emotionally process this because after it happened it was just kind of like Warrior mode and okay I let my defenses down I thought I could trust someone out and now I have to just be as hyper Vigilant as I can on my own because I’m on my own for weeks now it’s just up to me and what this brings to mind is I read it fucking High School part of the trilogy by KISS Girl with the Dragon Tattoo Guardian Salter and list of characters such a warrior amazing badass and she takes her revenge in a way that’s also why I finally beautiful brutal and not that that’s what I want to do I wear that’s what I feel I need to feel any sort of Vengeance but it’s me now taking charge of the narrative while letting people know that you can I’ve been an athlete my whole life I’m a strong person pretty emotionally strong I have traveled around the world for the most part really safely and intelligently just doing things on my own but it still happened and you can be really tough and really smart and your defenses go down and words someone abuses whatever crack say find in your armor and it happens it doesn’t it doesn’t say anything about you as a person that doesn’t mean you’re weak doesn’t mean that you’re not good enough it doesn’t mean you’re stupid it just means that this person isn’t a squirrel and they took advantage and they did something that is written wrong and it’s so sad and horrible at this happens it’s something that happened and I think that I didn’t even to talk about it put it out that way and I know because people have have talked to me after I was just really open about it and saying that I don’t feel like I have to beat myself at 4 having that last drink with someone that I felt that was my friend and then getting assaulted by them it wasn’t my fault this person did this to me it wasn’t my fault that I was in this area with I’m protected in some way it’s a set of circumstances that led to this horrible event but this. Other person the person who acted on me made the decision not me the victims not to blame and that’s something that I’m really just trying to emphasize with people who were like I certainly had mostly mostly men say you should have fought him off you should have screamed you shouldn’t have been there in the first place and it’s just repetitive if you can’t equate what happened to me because it was a situation where maybe you would have felt sexually charged being in a room by yourself with a woman you can’t make someone compared me to or compare the situation truck by like if I leave my bike on a busy Corner unlocked and someone takes it like that’s my fault so you being in a room with someone where you’re getting a massage and he’s a man or a woman you sent it is you putting on steak out on the table for a hungry dog like of course this happens like no you when you’re a professional you don’t go into this profession to assault people hopefully you going through it to heal people and if you’re claiming that you’re a Healer and doing something that’s the office that you’re a bad person and it’s not your clients fault that you’re a Apple I think that out of that and hoping to shine a different kind of night on this thing that happened to me I hope has been helpful in some way to other people because at least been helpful for me I’m glad you have a positive attitude and everything you say I’m totally aligned with in some days are easier than others today is a good day yeah I guess I would ask if you comfortable sharing since the the the date of the incident how would you describe the just the like as if you were mine you know I guess what I’m going to I’m wondering is the emotive expressive did you feel like you wanted to do something cathartic in a form of art or expression or did you if you felt like a total void in your creativity or how has how has the more subconscious send more energetic flow and effects been just cuz I feel like that’s doesn’t everybody wants to fix the problem specially man you know they want to get it over with or did you go to treatment are you in therapy now you know who are you dating again whatever and it’s like that’s on the surface of what you think about this order from the cerebral like I want to feel more expensive what coping strategies that you have developed on an energetic level or just you know how your dreams how are your how do you how are you sleeping to the colors of like seem to ebenflow from grayscale you know there’s just the more you poetry of surviving an experience to those are the things those are the guess the neglected aspects of the Arc of violence is like the those unknown language bull currents that that are flowing deeply so I don’t know if you can put words to that or maybe you will put song to that or dancer expressive movement or something to spend the most healing for me has been r y favorite mode is with the written language I write a lot I create a tree and I have investigated my mind and my heart and my spirit and my soul and my past present and future with word reading it for myself I had a cleansing ritual this past weekend where I wrote all nine different pieces of paper something that was holding me past that I wanted to let go of and from letting go what what I want to welcome in something in the present that was not serving that I wanted to release and welcomed something in its place and something that an image of the future that was pervasive in my mind that I wanted to release and replace with something different and it was a day where it was raining gray I had been feeling really bad that we can do is just a depressed not feeling productive for positive about the Future III all type of week now and I wrote These nine different things from three different time Ingles and I have a metal offend I put frankincense and copal resin and I let each paper away fire from The Stick of Palo Santo after I read it out loud and I dropped it in and I did that nine times until I was through with my stack of paper when I let it burn and I stood in this amazingly scented smoke and just let it swirl around me until it wasn’t that it was a smoking so much anymore and I put it out to Washed by the rain and I just stood there I felt like I was letting go of some of the things that we’re really holding me back and I as much meditation as I can do it as much time as I can spend on my yoga mat I was still getting these Cyclospora palliative thoughts of things that were harmful and things that would come up in dreams that were scary and I had the chance to face it speak out loud say it is no longer welcome here not replacing it the things that are positive and from that point forward I have felt a burden lifted and a light in my life shining that has been missing since this happened and also feeling like it sucks to not have someone who I can really turn to on a on a person-to-person level III not to say that I haven’t had friends who are being fully supportive because I have butt not someone that I feel really gets it and it was something we’re finally felt okay I didn’t feel like I was broken or damaged for not having that and I could be a support to Myself lyrics and I could State myself and enjoying my body for the sake of bringing about pleasure and I could and and I hadn’t danced in a while I think yeah I’ve been pretty sporadic that I had really been embodied in movement and all this week has been back in the studio feeling like I can’t get in my body again in a way that’s awesome Tech and not shaking from something scary that happened but just like okay I’m coming back so I have been welcoming myself back with movement and I released everything with word and I’m looking forward to seeing what else I can create what else will come from this what else someone might be inspired to bring forth through this all right I love collaborations and experiments and just exploring these beautiful artistic Realms with others and I’m sure that I will love what comes from this wise words so often you hear the trait kind of Silver Lining glass half-full kiss kind of from nuages and Isabel positive thinking and informations and appreciate the sincerity in in the way that you feel the way that you have it’s it’s it’s a very deep and Redemptive where do you express this in I want to applaud you for having this I hope you can applied yourself for having been that it’s it’s basic knowledge that what your what your your level of clarity and level of purposefulness and and healthy response I is it’s weird because the temptation to cool and sink deep into an abyss that’s that’s really how they beat us you know that’s really what they want and if we stand up to the after effects and we don’t fold in and I keep telling myself on my dude don’t let this triggering moment crush you like a tin can and and if you just don’t let anything crush you like a tin can you you help other people there’s so many canned responses to on all sides of these events in whether they are often ways to just hide from deeper truths or to avoid through formalities just avoid a deeper responsibility of care and I would say that what I pray for for all of us and all the survivors in the past and future survivors that will be is that the culture that will the human culture gets to a point where we we have Survivor leave from work from school from all of their duties that we have do we have families and parents have budget set aside for if these things happen so that a buffer can be created from any financial responsibility for any any give me the time that it takes I I just all I care about for myself as like I would consider a high level of success and wealth just to just to be able to press a button hypothetical button or a magical imaginary button when I need it’s like okay no one needs to know exactly what I’m going through in this moment but it could take a few days or a few weeks or a few months I don’t know but I want to always be able to put everybody and everything on on a on an elegant pause An Elegant hold and don’t worry about me I’m not going to kill myself I just want to go on to cannabis, and meta bait alone somewhere and in the worst thing is is it to me the worst thing is that Guillotine always coming down on my head of when the bills are due how much money is available to me and so is his chronic that hamster wheel ism is it safe to have sex with your sexual abuse trauma Survivor is like you’re on a hamster wheel of razor blades you know it’s it’s not pleasant and it’s not easy to go through the motions of traffic and stress and workload it’s all mostly bulshit anyway you know what I mean even if it’s for a good cause it’s still so wrapped up in 8 hour work days and deadlines and being on your you know responding to emails in like no one wants to get an auto reply that says PTSD meltdown see you whenever by and I certainly haven’t been able to only a few cases only a few chapters in my life have I been blessed to be able to actually sink into the Stillness to actually retrieve the Stihl Parts cuz they’re just right there you know but you’ll never will never be able to slow down enough I mean I don’t want to say the never hear it the way that they’ve rigged this whole reality is it like oh you got you were bolitas and you were bullied and on the playground or well you’ll never have time to actually deeply consider how that affects you because she hears the next thing to do on your to-do list on your pile of things to do at your desk with her to school or work or whatever or you or or becoming a parent and just seeing that I know parents who were trying to recover from all kinds of abuse and Trauma and and it’s beautiful that they have this vicarious Joy A New Hope full refreshing view of a potential for a more safe and Morris Saints I’d life for people care in her present but even that is still takes they still need a vacation to be able to really sink in and it just has hamster wheel Rat Race even if you’re not aspiring to be the most richest most famous most Fast Company fast money entrepreneur and you just are going kind of with the flow that flow is not designed to give us any real deep space time abundance to two kind of connect a bunch of dots and rinses reflects so I just been praying that what if we don’t single-handedly wipe out all demonic parasitic sex demons on Earth in our lifetime that it very least we change the Paradigm of people knowing that okay this this this disgusting disease perversion of mostly male Egos and male sexual sexuality is is not going to go away maybe not go away really anytime soon but our cultural adaptive strategies to it existing can be a lot more intelligent and they can be a lot more and it can be precluded to mean the way that we the way that we can quarantine Ebola we can quarantine this as a culture but it takes it takes a way more in enlightened approach to what we’re going to need to do to to not only prevent possible circumstances and I even would say that something that this is not a game this is about by no means to to for either of us as survivors or to anyone else who are survivors if it’s not too along that line of thinking of of like you’re saying about well that the cliche is asking for it by whatever means that by whatever measure but what I would say is that I would say we are all asking for it when we do not create social sexual containers were there are there are referees for overseeing all every single sexual act that happens between two people because this Cult of private and idea that who’s in order to enter if I want to have sex with this woman I can’t let her know that and some appropriate sort of dance of a way I have to intoxicate her kind of push her into the night late at night so I know when the buses stop running I know when she’s going to have to rely on me for a ride wherever I’m going and it’s like that is the whole modus operandi is that people are not comfortable being sexual in groups therefore they lose the buddy system when when they get aroused and it’s like no you need the buddy system more in bed than you do crossing the fucking Street everybody that we need to be able to say oh yeah naked stuff sure butts grabbed 10 people to hang out and enjoy it with us and then you will be 10 million times less inclined to see what you can get away with because no one can hear the screams or no wonder we’re too far away from you know the light or whatever those those files circumstances are that these that these mostly men are there rape artists and II when I first heard that term I was shocked and mortified and Intrigue they don’t know what they don’t know about how sweeter and better and more gratifying it is to actually earn the affection that you still desire and earn the the the touch that you would like to have or that you would like to share with someone else so it’s going to be a long road ahead for sure and and I’ve got your back and I’m glad that others do and I will say that those are the best and kindest words and most invigorating words that I can come up with an LSA that at this point in our conversation I want to give it back to you to share all of the thoughts and feelings that you feel called too and to also please do if you’d like to share some just words directed at our listeners who will be looking to engage with your work and connect with you online and enough so hopefully offer support and various ways to your ongoing projects and interview going through these These Times of healing and yeah oh you it is it is all you know where some share and hearing I’ve got your back is powerful and invigorating an absolutely kind listening really hot outside what you have gained from this as positive I know it was it was probably pretty tough to hear some of it for many of you and thank you for I can threaten listening I I can turn out no matter what it is your experience think you’re not alone if you want to reach out to me at any time I am accessible yet my social channels on Instagram I’ve got an email on my website and and if you want to throw this up somewhere where your listeners can take away those magical channels please that would be great I am performing around Los Angeles for the next few months until I complete my next. So that I can come back and teach people to teach other people continue to spread this wonderful yummy yogurt business and I’ll be hosting several workshops in the coming months so throw that up on Instagram when dates are finalized but I’m super excited about it and I hope that you are too because it high going to be as authentic as I can make it and really becoming more fully embodied with whatever it is we’re experiencing and yeah I’m I’m here for you I need some of you see this I look forward to it be awesome shoot me a line and I thank you again for having me back thank you yes always welcome anytime and wishing you absolutely the best for you homecoming adventures and now I hope our iPads cross and lsbn touch the name of the book that I mentioned earlier esoteric anatomy of the body is consciousness by Bruce Berger so now more than ever I feel compelled to redouble my studies and my understanding of how to how to move blockages and move yeah move move foreign objects that get lodged in our energy field through these whether they were I’m just getting a visual right now that I guess I want to I want to throw in at the very end of here I’m seeing now like a medical kind of schematic drawing that shows how when it could even be just sexual harassment verbally it’s just like when when an attack or assault happens to to a person’s energy field it’s it’s like there is a a wound surface abrasion it can be just like you know affecting the astral body in a similar way is that they have you no First Responders would know okay is it a burn is an abrasion is it a contusion is it a puncture is it an impalement and these are all terms you know you learn what tools to apply in a first aid situation and to identify them and in all cases if there is a breaching of the outer barrier of the skin the protective layer that key sir organs in our blood and all of our precious vulnerable cellular material however the breach occurs whatever the nature of the breach is it becomes a moment of opportunity for opportunistic organisms to infect that that area and so when I think about the emotional body that he has to about the delicate sexual body the these levels of our being set when when when we get wounded in these ways it’s an opportunity a tragic opportunity for dormant dormant material dormant pathogenic material in other parts of our astral body to sniff that out and to go and try to reactivate themselves it’s an opportunity for just whatever was in the room at the time to jump in I’m bored and to be a stowaway on your ship of your being and there is the introduction of exactly what was a particulate matter of the perpetrator themselves and that can be transmitted to sound waves from their words the creepiness the there’s multiple different categories of infectious material that opportunistically takes advantage of these the weakening of that of of the immune system of our of our total of all these levels are being so I feel like the the duty that we have talking about healing talking about psychedelics talking about orgasm talking about touch and movement as it’s it’s what we’re constantly doing is fighting off these infections and some of them are deeply lives with us and get get stirred up by new trama and some of them are just all around us all the time circling all of us on the subway and on the dance floor and it’s at the bar and say the the Heart and souls of the work that were talking about it were hoping to exude I believe is that were going to just create more and more robust and resilient systems that can be ever purified and will purify the culture and purify ourselves and you know will come back and be reincarnated and do this again and again and again and and just create those light tendrils and let them be less hindered and let the harmonies of our yeah what the harmonies really be sweet and and and beautiful and let this this really vile ugliness kind of get more quarantined in eventually composted yeah absolutely alright then where you have a wonderful night and then just want to put it out there feel free to Lean on Me call text last Christ high fives you’ll be hearing from me all right you have a wonderful deep restful nursing sleep then is going to be late so have a good night thank you for listening to the touch of Time Podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition of sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple after bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email band at Tantra Punk. Com Thomas Day

Sacred Yes Sacred No with David Bruce Leonard TPP31

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tp-david-bruce-leonard-picIn this episode we discuss David’s work at the Earth Medicine Institute where he provides healing programs that incorporate both the loving arts and the martial arts. We then discuss some of the ethics and dangers of sexual healing work followed by an overview of some of the  benefits of and precautions  for the practice of semen retention.

David’s Bio:
David Bruce Leonard is a deep ecologist, body-worker, Qigong practitioner, acupuncturist, martial artist, and plant lover. He has studied medicine with teachers in Asia, North and South America, and Hawai’i. David believes that our health and the meaning of our lives are inseparable from our interactions with the natural world. He has worked in a bank, done marine whale research, and has been seen in public attempting to dance Argentine tango.

David is available for workshops and consultations in the creation of men’s groups and support circles. Private coaching sessions for men or couples are available. He can be reached via his website www.EarthMedicineInstitute.com.

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin okay so David Bruce Leonard at the Earth medicine Institute how are you doing today welcome to the tundra Punk podcast well I’m baby myself pretty well all right all right well I was introduced to your work by a dear friend of mine and I I’ve been looking at your website and excited about all the books that you’ve done and I’m very new to you and all of your great works in the world but I’m very excited I think you’re doing a lot of the stuff that I aspire to be doing in my my pets so if you don’t mind give us a kind of some background how did you get to where you’re at now and spend as much time as feels natural and then we’ll go from there and talk about some of the specifics I mean like you I’m very interested and sacred sexuality and also self-defense I think a lot of those pieces were War because I was beating up a lot of the kid so ocean traumatized as a young man and well later on when I’ve always been sort of sexually precocious when I ended up in high school I I just part of my shadow and part of whatever you want to call that there’s a part of me that really wanted to be loved and accepted by girls when I started dating so I kind of fell into that and then became very interested and sacred sexuality and eventually that became clear that was a piece of piece of shadow in the shadows the parts of ourselves you don’t want to look at it so I started doing some work with that part of myself and began writing and it’s been an ongoing process awesome so you’re in what you’re not one of the Hawaiian Islands right now so and then do you have a dwelling at that Institute site is it that works no actually I take care of my mom so I’m in on Maui and my mom is elderly and I lived with her and take care of her I’m just here for her so I want us to be as good as I can make them awesome awesome it’s so that the facility is you have like a like a Healing Center and Training Center kind of Temple Sacred Space or no we do not miss is here depending on which island them on cuz I teach on on Kauai and Maui and the big island and Oahu so this place is I use on Maui as different facilities and places on the big island and on Kauai and Oahu also but no I’m kind of medicine Institute we have been different instructors on different islands and and then when I travel I also you know I teach another places also oh that’s cool yeah I’m actually I’m really looking into and considering that kind of more of a flexible kind of gypsy model for instruction and holding in creating space for especially the darker kind of Shadow work I don’t know if this is something that you’ve encountered or that you’ve considered but there is I guess I would say for my personal experience there’s there’s a lot of potential liability when you’re opening up these deep wounds and people and you just never know what kind of support they’re going to need you can try to be very supportive but I feel like a lot of drama and personality conflicts and issues and liabilities can accumulate in one fix location I don’t know if that’s something that’s like a factor that you consider or or do not the sacred sexuality week each is erotic body work but it’s talk to couples so I don’t actually do erotic body work on clients that’s not part of what I do I train couples to work on each other I’m so in some ways that’s what it mitigates a lot of the liability because I don’t do I don’t do any erotic touching people I know people do when I think it’s fine work is just not what I choose to do Andy self-defense work is is it is an already existing system called Fast offense which I I began to learn about the roots of that back in the mid-80s and I’ve been tracking it ever since and I become certified in that a few years ago and said that work is already very established and is actually very little liability with a self-defense piece huh yeah so mostly I like right now I’m working on a series of of instructional video tapes for couples so they can learn to do a rouse work on each other so the work itself code can be therapeutic I mean theoretically it’s therapeutic if it’s done with couples but I don’t work as a therapist with people who been traumatized sexually that not with the erotic Body Works and ends with the self-defense would you work with that Banda legal issues with a picture right it’s a very tricky work and we have to be extremely squeaky-clean specialist men doing this work so right right will this is against is so exciting for me to hear that you’re bringing these two worlds together because I feel like every time I start to open my mouth as myself a sexual abuse Survivor and you know a victim of different forms of non-sexual physical emotional violence building the sacred Warrior Peaceful Warrior masculine archetype within myself as a as a response to buy wounding every time I start talking about that with people who are more on the the new age sort of trip they get sort of shut down to order they get very hostile to it because it’s it’s bringing in you know the notion of fighting in combat in and that’s something that they would just rather iick neglect or ignore as part of the reality that were in and and I think that’s not really holistic good for trail in the world you know the wonderful and beautiful and peaceful place and it can be a very violent dangerous place and we ignore either one of those possibilities that are parallel that created the work that fast was originally part of service model mugging which was created by a man than that Thomas he created fast because he was sexually assaulted as a repeatedly in an orphanage and that was how all of this work came about so I think it and I think it would take somebody like that who’s been through hell and back and come out the other side to really create something as brilliant as well as what we the now in the past offense so I can totally see why you’re doing the work and you know why I do the work and one that created the the self-defense work right eye I was exposed to his material when I listen to something it was called the self-defense Show podcast and I don’t know it’s been defunct for years I don’t even know if it’s still available online but they interviewed him and I heard that years ago and I was totally stoked on it and I picked up his book defend yourself I think it still hurts very good yeah it’s filled with those you know the powerful statistics and yet his story would just bring you to tears and and I have always since I have known about the adrenal stress response training in the model mugging and all this revolutionary scientific street self-defense combat kind of restructuring martial arts to a more practical indirect kind of format I was very have been very excited about it I haven’t myself been able to access the certification training but you want to talk a little bit about exact or actually go into detail going to death why is the fast combatives different than going to a a karate in a dojo years and there’s nothing like this work that I’ve ever seen it’s a it’s a combination of it’s in some ways it’s a huge it’s a it’s a ceiling in Sacred Space ritual disguised as a self-defense class let me back up a little bit because I have a belief or an observation that trauma is created in a hide rental in state and pretty much all that I can imagine is created and that that state is imprinted on a body in that biochemical response in adrenal response I believe there are two ways to address or two more than two ways for the two ways that I can think of off the top of my head that might be effective in addressing trauma one is to recreate the adrenalized state in Sacred Space and give them give the body a different physical outcome which is what we doing fast wee wee is scenario-based so we will recover after a lot of work a lot of preparation we will recreate a situation that was originally very traumatic we recreate the state in the person going through it and then we allow we train them to move their body in a way that I believe rewires the limbic system if it takes on a new imprint around that it basically because of trauma is like a tape Loop like a record that skips for those of us that are old enough to remember records that keeps repeating and if it’s as it is playing in the background in our bodies and it often creates a kind of hyper-vigilance it really kind of drives the bus of Our Lives when we recreate the original trauma and give the body a different outcome it’s I believe it is changes the set point of the trauma and let’s the trauma take a backseat is still there you know but it no longer drives the bus are you familiar with Peter Levine’s work no he was a book called waking the tiger and he does the exact same kind of work only cycle more psychological song about self-defense the same thing with people have been traumatized in a sacred container and then gives the body a different physical outcome to the trauma that we do the same thing in mankind project which is a men’s initiation project group I’ve been involved with will take again a traumatic situation we we recreate a scenario and then with allowing the full physical force in the body to give a different outcome to that to that trauma I believe it changes the set point in the nervous system and allows people to integrate what happened better right right well yeah so kind of even though it’s not therapy it’s a form of therapeutic work that it’s disguised as a self-defense class and then the other way I think that one can do that his can treat trauma is again in the Sacred Space but in a very parasympathetic relax space a meditation space which would be sacred sexuality and I find you no different people gravitate towards different forms of that I also see what kinds of amazing things you can do if we are willing to step back through our our integrity work as man and create a container or space that other people which other people can heal I think it’s incredibly powerful Rite Aid instructor for 18 years he created fast because he he’s so well he left he left model mugging his do some political issues that he decided he would rather not deal with which I think was a good move on his part and he really Innovative so he took model mugging which is originally for solid days of tranny they turned it into a 4-Hour class and honestly Bill him as well as being a very dedicated Warrior genius he took the the model mugging work any concentrated concentrated it added men to the mix of men can also in this work and added weapons and really kind of brought model mugging and Matt’s work into the 21st century and said what we do is we you know I have a suit I have people I work with female instructors and then the female instructor is just as important as the male instructor because she is the the voice that she is not the healthy voice the voice of the healthy healthy feminine in the woman so when the scenario is going on she’s always behind the woman she’s always giving her information feedback guiding her when when women after they’ve taken the class when they have been assaulted and their body goes into autopilot in the statistics are incredible like the statistics of it’s like 99.5% of the people to go to the class when faced with a physical violent altercation when he’s women against rape powerful men they win they say they can hear the woman’s voice in their head going through it so yeah so we do so the female structure is just as important as the mailing is the guy you know people think it’s about the suit and it’s not really about the students about the teaching modalities in the pedagogy that is involved in rear I believe rewiring people’s limbic systems awesome yes this is a conversation ever wanted to have for a long time and I’ve I’ve actually kind of on a low budget adapted what I know of these principles certainly not using the name or selling it but just with my own no dating partners and friends you know whoever I meet I’m going to give him a can of pepper spray and explain to him how to properly deployed and how to how to hold it and when to have it ready for deployment in and if we you know hit the pads and do some some striking techniques on the pads and then I’ve just got myself a motorcycle helmet and some knee pads and actually found it with that where where are you where are you normally in the LA area Los Angeles I’m do some training would be fun it’s really good just really awesome you know that when is martial artist you know we like to think you know where NC techniques and stuff and then I’m not talented but I’ve been training a long time and like a three-year-old you know everybody know how talented they are kind of comes unglued around adrenal stress cuz we’re not used to yeah do you want to talk a little bit about that or what you want first if I’m going to say for all of the things were talking about regarding the fast combatives to me at it I’m seeing it in my mind’s eye because I’ve watched the videos and night and I’m an Enthusiast of it but to put the picture together for people who haven’t seen that do you want to come to describe what a minute or two of the of the takedowns and the we bring people into a container of salt container depends on this is just women sometimes it’s women and men and we teach them body language in queuing how to deescalate situations 90% of the fast work is about D escalating a situation so that it doesn’t go to a violent confrontation and they don’t have a lot of statistics and techniques and not but it is reasonably simple once you learn how to avoid a violent confrontation and get home safe and Alive you know once that so we do that we teach body language cueing what creditors look for in situations how to see violence situations when they’re on the way and avoid them and if there is a verbal confrontation how did the Escalade that confrontation I think the stats that bill gives is that I think seventy or eighty percent of assaults on women are done with only verbal intimidation no physical intimidation no exit by intimidation but 90% of verbal confrontation scan BD escalated or maybe higher with just words alone and it’s a matter of body language and what were putting out to the world that’s what we teach first cuz obviously you know if we can avoid violence that’s the best option I was just watching a video the other day and he said he said the speaker said violence is a last resort but when it raised our Resort is the only Resorts the only choice violence is always the last choice but when it is our choices becomes the only choice and that I believe that’s what we do in fast so once it’s clear there is absolutely no way to avoid a violent confrontation then we train peoples on large muscle groups to go into action and when were adrenalized when we’re a high adrenaline state which is basically in any confrontation we lose peripheral vision we get tunnel vision we get we lose fine motor control you know car keys and things like that and and we and we also get time to scotian and auditory exclusion we can’t hear so what that means is that we don’t have all our Resources with us what we do have continued to have is large muscle groups and so we teach people these large muscle movements big movements that are extremely effective that they don’t even have to remember because they won’t remember be able to remember the fine motor skill techniques that they will be able to remember these big muscle groups on my training partner here was about six months ago she was down and the beach here and she was attacked by a guy to come out of nowhere and punched her in the stomach or not and she’s not are the female instructor Sabrina that I work with and she she Palm healed in the face and broke his nose she kneed him in the groin she kneed him in the face and then she stomped on his head and then called the police and this is a very traumatic thing but her body did it automatically think about it you just did it you know and that’s that’s what we’re looking for so we we basically take a student and we teach them to deescalate a violent situation once it’s really obvious there’s there’s no way out of the violence if no way around it we teach them to cut loose with very very powerful techniques that basically finish the confrontation very quickly and because we do it in the hydranal and stayed the the the student it goes directly into the limbic system it becomes on autopilot goes right into muscle memory and so and we have to actually part of the training is when they’re in the adrenal stay when they’re done with the quote on quote we have them put your hands up and look around and we should call nine-one-one or go get help because they might forget to do that as a maybe other people in the situation you know so for me this is like I said it’s genius and Peyton Quinn and Bill kept are geniuses in my in my in my mind because they have that they’re not afraid of bucking the the martial arts system they just want to go for what’s true and what really works rather than going with tradition and you know people playing tag in their pajamas. I’ve been and what Bruce Lee said was you know Kung Fu is is is like a beautiful form of feather dusting when it comes time for I’m glad you I like to two point that that kind of stuff out and I think the the one of those things so I’ll try to say to people as you know those you see those Aikido Masters that have all that fine motor control and a state where most people would be very adrenalized but the thing is they are Masters and they come from a cultural tradition where you don’t just go one or two nights a week for a couple hours after work to have your hobby or these are everyday all-day training other people and not everybody makes it there an issue it’s not a they don’t I’ll make it they have to weed weed people out the students so the what you see in the movies with all this finessed technique of like a lot of time in indigenous healing Traditions or however we want to call it you know how to be sewn underground and so I I say that’s kind of reflected in how we how I approached this kind of thing even though you know today will will it will post the events publicly on Facebook and things like that there is still a ring to it that is about you’re not waiting for us to be given our our approval by by Society you know we just know that it’s important so we do this and and so like I’ve been doing this constantly one of my goals that I set out of certain point was that at least you know once a year there would be a community gathering around love sex intelligence and the rest of the time you know we haven’t online for him but very important for that hole project has been and which we’ve stepped it up in the recent months to make sure that hopefully like every month we can do something is to to say that the community around learning about how to how to harmonise our relationships how to defend our sexuality into something that is you know how uplifting our spiritual path is something that needs to be done you know with with with more support and so that’s why it’s it can’t just functioning online capacity so that’s something I’ve committed to we have we have been actually our next events is focusing squarely on sexual initiation I’m pink resented by someone named y’all Lila Espinosa is looking at how to tweeze mower practices that she learned in Peru you know have informed her own healing and and then creating her own initiation but yeah I also you know as an astrologer I work with people and often it is around relating I’ve done a little bit of like you know support for people I think what happens is you know when when you become a central figure in any given Community people will come to you when they’re in crisis and this is what has informed my my the work that I do around you know Rites of Passage is responding to crisis from a place that seeks to get to the root of what is causing the crisis which in so many cases is that there is a lack of of support and people therefore will resort to self initiation just something I’ve had to do in my own life and and see it so much the case for some of the other people and there’s another psychological shifts that occur when people an emotional shift that occur when people feel a sense that they’re being held that they are being that they can fit they can let go and have a safe space to go into those wounds and begin working on them and of course it would help if we had a little more guidance and how to do that but thought comes over over time you know we have to work from where we’re at and so that’s something that I’ve been in in the my own process of of my own work around here figuring what those things are with those tools are and Tom yeah like I said I’m not an expert but I can at least Point people in some directions I guess what we’re looking at here is that there’s an underground space very intentional underground space that is more conducive to kind of freestyling or rolling your own ceremony and just holding the light and and letting those who it call who are called to it you know it would become integrated into keep it at the gala Therrien and flowing so that you don’t have cult of personality and politics and all of the scenester Hipster things coming in and that’s always up in it and he has to be on guard against and whatnot so I see there’s that unfoldment in that development and then there’s people who are also working like stay in the social work field who are informing their peers and colleagues in those sectors with these Neo shamanic techniques or nonviolent communication or your where it’s legal and accessible and permissible you know legally again to be able to put people on amor I guess like prisons prison you Lila has a very and I’ve done some I interviewed her in the past and I’m a big fan of what she’s doing and I know she has a strong background in clinical social work and is feeding back into that sector the wisdom of of the Amazon and and Beyond and so is that something that you have I just thought I remember reading somewhere you know or talk to you at some point about how this is this is like you could be hired by the more formal above ground and sectors of social work or Community work with where you can be brought in to bring some of the stuff that would normally be or I guess it’s just that it’s a very interesting Cutting Edge of an intersection and I if I’m not mistaken that’s that you you are like sort of partially in that world 2 of of social work or is that something I understand correctly yeah I’ll I will string this conversation back and see where where I where I am placed social work as well as all the modalities of counseling and healing you know like they are all part and parcel to supporting and upholding status quo capitalist system so I’m going to like you know like you know also haven’t been in the punk scene also had a big enough impact on my my party now 13 m in terms of healing these wounds we have to look at that and I we can’t we can’t say like that are healing is going to be independent of the world that is reeling and suffering from the continuation of this system as it is and so that’s where for me like bringing capitalism into the equation is is something that’s real tricky it’s something that I feel needs to be kind of understood. You know we we can’t just rely on having sting services that we can pay for because that creates a gap you know where some people are going to have accessible abilities to to the healing and others won’t and that’s that’s not healthy for anyone and and also that it doesn’t address the root cause of why we need social workers to begin with and why we need counseling and all of that so I really like the notion of cultural healing that’s where more where I would be comfortable in any way kind of looking at myself as any kind of healer I don’t think we we can really heal individuals that’s really something that you know a person will need to and it’s not like they can be facilitated to do their own healing work but nobody can fix us we have to fix ourselves that’s that’s more I think a more powerful Paradigm to be apart of but you know I I I have worked in the realm of I focused therapy and you know I have spent quite a bit of time around the spirit plant medicines and seeing how the plant medicines have assisted and I do I do continue continuously work to increase my knowledge and wisdom around working with us plants and and that also brings us back into that hole realm of discussion around you know ancestors and working with them or perhaps that’s something we haven’t really touched upon but maybe she said it’s just that in any form of healing that we do I guess for me the important thing that I really try to bring into whatever I do connecting back with her ancestors and healing the trauma of how we were disconnected from those ancestors and how that plays out in any kind of sexual wounds or emotional wounds that we carry and so that’s something that I I I feel like the role of initiation and ritual can can really do and that’s that’s been its Province ever since people began doing patrols I think it’s to build upon the legacy of their ancestors and to draw and their their help and support cool said that yeah thank you for helping me understand the other parameters a little better and and 100% there with you I have I have been because I live in the United States where there’s different laws around no prostitution in in how that affects the healing with sexual touch and pleasure as medicine and stuff like that is a lot more yes I understand in in Canada there’s there’s a lot more interesting legal space in order to do Hands-On Sexual Healing work relative to the US where it’s completely off limits in so I because of that adapting to that reality and also is a permaculture designer myself I have to think very deeply about how to navigate this issue of for-profit healing work that kind of in most sectors is about like you said I’ll put in my own words it’s like they want to know if if the if you’re at a time of time robot that supposed to be producing a set amount to be a productive member of the of the GDP then then if you’re not functioning properly than the the goal of the mainstream social work or psychotherapeutic or psychiatric Fields they’re trying to get you back into the rat race as soon as possible and they’ll do that with drugs with talk therapy or whatever that is about avoiding through tissue which is the disconnection from urethane from a healthy holistic wild habitat you know a night as a primitivist I see that you know the solution to your Neurosis is to retry belies and Get Growing your own food again in and rebuild that fabric so you know there with you on that tension about right livelihood in and taking money for healing and what is he doing so I really like what you said and that just is going to it’s going to help me a lot looking at healing the cultural level and healing the if I’m understanding right and I’ll put a couple my own words on it but I feel like we’re trying to build the scaffolding or were trying to design the context for people to take the responsibility of a personal healing and gone to that journey and so if you if what would you say are some practical skills are tools from all of your things that you would teaching and training and a things that you discovered in your own journey to where you’re in power tools for empowerment that you suggest or are resources that you suggest people Explorer to if they’re called to do the cultural healing work weather for profit or non-profit. Some dance between the two or it and then what what are some recommendations for people who are on their own path and aren’t necessarily called to do the the cultural healing yeah I mean it’s it’s a pretty vast subject that one but I think that a few points that I could think about and talk about our that I’m going to this idea of bringing you back in the station rights and recognizing that in the absence of them what do we have you know we are we are sadly in there without initiated Elders so many of us and if there are any of Elders that hold that ability to to guide those those ones are those are worth their weight in gold you know there really is people that we should try to lift up and and give them their recognition and see you know and then in the absence of that it’s like we kind of by default Our Generations people that will have to hopefully fulfill that and reach a place where we can actually help upcoming generations to go in a way that they don’t have to completely go it alone and and figure it out on them on their own the way that so many of us have had to and so there is a movement around Rites of Passage I sit on the board if you passageways which is a network that focus is squarely on you no Rites of Passage for you coming of age from all different walks and and and modalities you know some of them are our Boys to Men oriented some of them are girls to women some of them are starting to incorporate non gender binary kind of approaches as well which is good and and this whole focus on bringing back the ancestors into looking at Rites of Passage is is starting to happen and something that I focused on and so that’s that’s a resource you know people can go to youth passageways. Oregon and look at what programs are out there and they can also think about how they can add to that list and bring in things that are needed around especially around sexuality and relationship which is often I noticed kind of a big gap in a lot of programs out there you know because they’re confined confined or constrained by the conservative values where they take place and you know what school system is you know this is one of those places lagging for that kind of thing so it’s a role that I think that many people who understand the need can step into and cultivate as career paths you know and some people are pig figuring out how they can weave their credentials says on Sexual Health Educators or sexual therapist or sexual trauma or no trauma-based therapists you know into this realm of initiation and that’s that needs to happen on a on an increased level the other I see a lot of because of what I was saying around looks really don’t how many Avenues to learn other than through you know what the books in the workshops and offerings around sexuality thoughts unfortunately are not rooted in in people’s only need two lineages generally speaking you know so the whole Tantra movement is pretty much so you know a cultural appropriator of New Age fight version of those Traditions that would have been squashed by Christianity especially and so I think there’s work to be done there and as much as possible Retreat retrieving reconstructing are reconnecting with our own ancestral Traditions which I’m sure you know had their own knowledge wisdom around how to how to raise healthy harmonious individuals with healthy sexualities from from the vantage point of how what little I do know has been has been done in indigenous cultures and without wanting to appropriate for them from them I’ll just give way of examples out of that you know in and certain cultures that are studied like the Mayan culture and I think to some degree on certain places within Creek culture there’s examples of how as societies you know that the children are raised from an early age 2 reach a point where they understand how to how to harmonize with the other sex and how to to look after each other and that’s just a very basic principle that I feel like you know that’s that’s worth kind of learning how to integrate into our family structures if we have children that were raising just to keep in mind that you know there is a need for them to learn skills around things like consent and around being responsible with with one’s sexual energies and and I needs to start before they reach that age of adolescence where they’re just harder to connect with if you haven’t built up that Foundation so that’s something that I think about will do you so if I if if we check out that the organization that you mention is it would that be good place to find and something like a more enlightened or more conscious like sexual education curriculum or guidebook do you know if people were working on something like that so if I know if you know parents who were going through the puberty of their child that they have something that’s not just this cold clinical Western and even though that sort of evolving a little bit you know with things like a sack didn’t and whatnot I see a lot but the The ancestral wisdom and you know the ceremonial Rites of Passage you know how does it how does the Modern Family say okay well you’re about to start feeling you know hormonal Energy’s how do we give you know create even if it’s just within their family or their Community yoga or whatever is something more than what’s being offered in the normal sex ed or what they’re listening in gangster rap music and watching on sitcoms obviously you know it’s enough for lack of lot of alternative options it’s one one place to look and we’re always looking for others so whenever we discover something then we will see to auditory resources and we are trying to vet those resources and those organizations to make sure that they really are you know at least there’s some some level of you know safe recommendation that we can give for those those organizations we’re not we’re not in the position to really kind of completely you know set standards but we are trying to we have a code of what we call it a cross-cultural protocol so we do look at that aspect that you have for what we’re talking about that’s you know if that’s another layer that we will hopefully get to eventually and I do know that there are people within our Network who are really strongly focused on this particularly around girls to women kind of education and and Rites of Passage and some of the Boys to Men once but I think it’s also something we need to to enhance as well oh that’s great yeah that’s that’s that’s what I wanted to hear so that I can just refer people to this ongoing and so and then the LSI is kind of its there’s a Facebook I’ve been interacting with the the Facebook group for a while so is that something you recommend people plug-in I mean that’s the goal of that is to feature blogs and generate discussions from those blogs and also to establish a resource of services as well as information and so that’s you know running on in a very limited volunteer capacity and so you know it’s something that I hope will eventually become a very powerful resource but already it’s you know it’s been feedback that I’ve received that you know even just the the group that we have on Facebook somebody posted recently. You know it’s really help them in their in their path which is nice to hear and I’ve heard that a few times and I try to curate that group in such a way where it’s like you know it’s trying to generate discussion and it’s it’s trying to be a safe space where where people can get into some of those I’m intimate revealing is of what what’s going on in their lives one of the things that kind of came out of love sex intelligence local as a connection with Tamara and the love school that they have which is a very congruence philosophy to love sex intelligence and they’re their work to try to create or with to create safe spaces for people to to share stories of what’s going on in their intimate lover sexual lives and and B witnessed in a way that is non-judgemental where they’re not being flooded with advice but more just being witnessed which is kind of connected to that whole framework for Rites of Passage itm witnessing each other and so it’s it’s trying to also look at how you know communities can succeed in their in their goals which might include you know like being more sustainable or being an alternative to the systems around us and also being a part of a more peaceful kind of culture through filling this hole that is often where things go wrong where people are are are not feeling safe to talk about these these human experiences around wounding around are our hearts and our sexuality so I’ve been part of a Practice Group here that has been circulating also to other parts of BC and I think it’s a really it’s a really powerful movement to be a part of yeah we’re getting close to an hour or so I have to take a few more minutes and I’m get a couple thoughts and feelings some responsible for 1 something that his is coming up for me that I think it’s really empowering is this like idea that wouldn’t it be nice if some of us started to think of ourselves as aspiring Elders I’ve never thought of it that way until this conversation and there’s a little spark of joy and me that that says you know puts in context the the punk rock lifestyle that I had of live fast Die Young and just you know if it’s not throwing yourself into the meat grinder of insurrectionary activism you know with this sort of Death Wish you know this martyr complex or whatever it’s like those are really unsustainable archetypes to follow and they leave a lot of people when they get to my age in about 35 like in a sort of existential crisis that will the revolution didn’t happen and I didn’t get killed I didn’t die in the gutter you know I mean what am I going to do now and it’s like well maybe it’s time to become an aspiring Elder and you know clean up your act and and then start to think about how you’re going to make it easier cuz I there’s a lot of things that I had to go through that I would seriously love to have no one else ever have to go through and if you know if we can live in that. you know that is what you’re supposed to think that I think of you say you know you can you can learn from the wisdom of Elders who have gone through and made the mistakes that you’re probably going to go through or you can just be hard-headed and learn all your lessons the hard way but I mean we’ve had to learn a lot of hard lessons in the absence of the eldership but I think if we take on that there’s a yeah me too. It seems obvious but really the way you put it his medicine for me to think you know it’s a dignified path to be an aspiring Elder and then it makes you not be so how do I can help you defeat that that that grinding pressure that oh my I’m going to lose my looks and I’m going to lose my energy and I’m going to be in the state of deprecation towards death and that’s very much the greatest fear of the western manicured Uno photoshopped airbrushed identity like you’re not really giving any hope that aging will be of any benefit in here just marginalized further and further so I thank you for that serve very much still give that time sacred eldership dignity not a light title to hold I think the true Elder wouldn’t really feel comfortable in it cuz it’s defining attributes of an elder that is really one that can help that role be the best it can be is one that is is really accountable is really present isn’t so on the move that if you can’t you know be relied upon to be there for the people that it serves now needs to ideally be in the in the fellowship of other Elders to kind of keep it in in in check in a way like we have to watch for the Cole group kind of phenomenon where people you know place a lot of weight on that person and in a way that can privilege them in certain ways and also lead to potential like power distortions and things like that you know it’s it’s only human that people will make mistakes and so having that kind of accountability of other people and also that time yeah you have people heart or a different there’s always like in every phase of life with the lifecycle there’s there’s like the maturing phases and so there’s like you know there’s a baby elder there’s enough adult Elder and then Senior Elder and so it’s just we have to learn at each stage of Life how to become the mature version of what that stage is and says just something to think about as well and it’s good to to get your feet wet early on in life so that you know we can have deep roots and and the and those are the kinds of people to like in the Tamara situation out of the black community they have a circle of Elders who are basically people who have grown with a community enough that they know the people in their community and then they serve a role as potential kind of like the Matchmaker but you know in a way where people can approach them in and ask them like you know I’m interested in this person and they can help you assess whether this is the right time or what is a good or bad idea and you know they can kind of that. Whole courtship in a way that you know really I think I wish there were more of those people around here don’t you let me relax you know learn the hard way what does that we’re just not compatible certain people in The Matrix the I mean yeah I’m not I’m not a political scientist of the Matrix but I will say that what got me peaked on the ecstatic trance dance group ritual ceremony festival thing was it really when I saw I think it was maybe the second movie or maybe it was the second or the third but there was a scene where they’re just getting down to like Juno Reactor I think was a soundtrack of a butt there is something beautiful about seeing the different the warrior culture Guided by elders and of course there’s different the archetypes playing out in Conflict split that to me was took it further than then the Star Trek Federation is a futuristic Elder guided Council guided kind of reality so that was kind of fun but yeah so that’s what came to mind when you’re at we’re talking about that be so cool if you’re early sexual oracle’s who you go to you know if we’re going to give you insights and maybe even have name your child for you or something cool like that you know be so cool but right on then will I worry about at the hours so do you have any closing touch you want to share or any other resources or should we just I’ll post the the links that you mention and I’ll definitely encourage people to stay informed and keep an eye out for your anything coming up you have any appearances or anything exciting like that coming up you want to mention I think yeah I think I covered a lot of it and I just wanted to maybe plant a seed while I have the airwaves here about something that I’d I’d eventually like to work on presenting which is around insert Intercultural relationships and also decolonizing our relationships as well and just thinking about how how we can heal some of these ancestral traumas and use that has as as a means to strengthen our relationships and also our society right on I’ll be looking forward to everything that you’re you’re expressing in the world and I hopefully yeah maybe sometime in the future we can talk about skill sets for Beyond Christian monogamy that would be a great topic so yeah how would you feel about that maybe we can sometime in the next few months follow up with something like that. Maybe by the by the time I’ll have more of a personal lived experience to a base conversation around that I think you know in terms of people who are already I don’t know how many listeners here are on a Christian spiritual path without that many but if the energy and gnosticism and sacred marriage not going to the alchemical top in the in the Gnostic tradition but I I wouldn’t make any claims to be an expert in that area but it’s definitely something to look at cool alright then we will be in touch and will follow up sometime in the future and thank you so much so be I really enjoyed it and I know it’s taking us a while to get this to get this done but I think it was perfect and I couldn’t ask for anything more so you have a wonderful day. Take care and keep for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and if you want a podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been at Contra Punk. Com Thomas Day