In this episode I share a rebroadcast of The End of the Road Podcast Episode 80 where I was interviewed by Michael Kokal about my tantric path
In this episode I share a lab report from mid 2019 which documents an important break through in my sexual healing with psychedelic goddess worship research. The mixed and mastered version of the Psychedelic Goddess Worship track on the Sexorcism the Tantric Opera album proved to have powerful potentials to induce what I’m calling “shaktification as non-invasive demonectomy. My (non-verbatim) show notes are below.
Non invasive is used for surgeries, the body is not penetrated
Man cave, goddess temple lave, unclinical lab, produced an album to create the vibrational landscape for a non-invasive demonectomy on my self
multiple sessions, increasing doses’
could solve the problem of how do you induce a non-invasive demonectomy, that’s effective, unlike the techniques of the dominant paradigm of exorcism, the catholic church and their protocols
with an understanding, time does not heal, if untreated the infections only get worse and in the case of men, there’s a higher potential of survivor-perpetrators
for women, less likely to harm others, but will often harm themselves, that’s the handy work of the demons that were inserted into them in acts of abuse and molestation
demons express themselves in female survivors much less as sexual offense
in males, less divine feminine grace, cults of gang rape, women don’t usually form thug cults of rape
don’t know of any witches who are known to have done that
but men, gang up and bully runts on football team, and geeks in the classroom, they gang up and rape the cheerleaders, their so susceptible and when you get survivors in that mix, its that much more of a cascading effect
it should be axiomatic, if that infection doesn’t get disinfected immediately, than you are harboring, just like Geiger shows us, is the “face huggers”, that’s what he’s talking about, it’s all demons, their parasites, inject themselves into human host, sexual aliens, if there was a xxx Giger, that’s me, showing what’s going on
gotta figure out how to interrupt the larval cycle, to interrupt the propagation
some times sexual penetration is appropriate, however there are times when it’s not
there’s a magical power that flows through, the goddess kali shaki, and the magic mushroom, what I can demonstrate and have footage of, is capturing the rapid seizure like convulsions that occur with the shakti is invoked, not just shivers, not just normal kriyas, a controlled seizer
a presence of mind, it’s possible to surrender, but be prepared, yoga, martial arts, dancing, landscaping, know my body and have agility to phase in and out of possession states
not faking, not faking, not a parlor trick, not a magic trick, not putting on a show
I have the ability to shut it off, goddess has been earning trust from me so I can surrender more
use elbows to brace neck, stay ahead of the sense of more intense movements
set and setting for combat training, you could use padding, or train on the beach
design consciousness of low impact, the sand absorbs impact, avoiding pavement
expecting to trash around, expecting to be taken for a ride, do due diligence to be warmed up enough
not be in a contortion to snap their neck, people doing jiu jitsu, they’re aware of when they’re in danger, and maneuver out of it
gotta be bad ass ninja warriors
it’s possible, I’ve proven to myself, that adding more people is beneficial, but in the dilemma of when you can’t add anybody, what do you do, well this seems to be it, maybe not the only thing, but could be more effective than calling the local priest exorcist
they did the deeds themselves and now they’re gonna do the exorcism, you brought the demons you’re not taking them out
sexorcism that doesn’t involve any inappropriate touch or any touch at all
it happened to me to a degree never before experienced
it’s happened before, but not to this extent
she’s like an infinite array of octopoid, insectoid, she has the ability to move you in a lot of different ways
she’s going in and doing a demonic abortion
what she’s doing is what an abortion doctor would do
as sad and heartbreaking as it can be, that’s what goddess kali is doing the demons in the chakras, she’s sucking and pulling them out
these are fully formed, although I do see often that there are multiple life stages, there are hatchlings, old ones, etc. we don’t know how long they live
shamans probably have a clue, but we’re grasping in the dark, but that’s what’s happening
if you watch sexorcism the tantric opera where there’s a lot of hand laying on people, sometimes just the aura, it’s a lot of handy work, but what has been achieved to an extreme with me, is that with the track “psychedelic goddess worship” singing the mantras along with it, its raiding the demon nest, allowing kali to do the demonectomy, extracting these violent creatures, shifts in the amount of demonic load, measurable, this is like colonics
I think I made an important discovery, a hands off, solo, non-invasive demonectomy, you may want to try this yourself and go from no medicine, to cannabis low to high dose, then mushrooms low to high dose, and experiment with the music, looping the track psychedelic goddess worship in setting where you have people watching over you, and you’re surrounded by cushions, and you have martial arts/yoga background, be agile like a cat to prevent injury, if that’s you and you’re suffering and you’ve not found healing in toxic relationships, in psychiatric drugs, or yoga postures, or vipasan, or being saved by Jesus, or getting an exorcism, or singing hare krisna, or doing a detox, I say try everything else , this is a last resort
these are things that I”ve seen that will turn you white, like Winston from Ghost Busters
old school orthodox sri rama krisna order kali worshipers say things like think about it, people go to kali when they’re crushed, when they’re hating life because “it least there will be peace”, they’re harangued by demons, you go to the kali temple and there is peace, hopefully not a patriarchal priesthood
I emphasis female kali priestesses in my work, trying to get back the secret mantras, and decode the art,
the braminization of the goddess, “she was a tribal deity who was absorbed into vedic pantheon”
she was/is a village goddess
decolonize your tantra
get back to psychedelic village level goddess worship
occupying armies, languages, soma, occupying, absorb goddesses take them away from the people then feed it back to them and it’s all corrupted, bastardization by priest craft, put in empire of ego, male ego
I bow down to women who are priestesses, sorting it out, pagan villager medicine woman shamanism craft, that’s what we want to get all the way back down to
the pure hearted matriarchs of the village, witch craft
I’ve said it enough times now, how to translate this, we need to give a voice to the witches and let them do it laboratory conditions
I’m just the messenger, the source is the dakinis and yoginis, who are in state of grace simply because they dont’ have a penis that can be weapons
I don’t have a clue about what was really going on with the cult of the 64 yoginis but there seems to have been a ratio of men to women where women are quite obliged to run the show, quite obliged to minimize and intelligently design with the shiva energy, operating within their coven
I will only get better and better at doing the scholarship on these claims
women are blessed and women are cursed and we need to address this without the backlash
we can be brothers in prostration to the goddess, and experience our masculinity in its most potent form
we’ll get hardest erections when we worship the goddess
ritualized sexual matriarch, that’s probably a useful simplified term
a more rapid depiction
high dose mushrooms, safe-ish setting
looping the track psychedelic goddess worship, mixed and mastered version
never before got as far
turned into an astral battlefield, astral combat, very much like scene in big trouble in little china, when Lo Pan fights Eg Shen, astral avatars battle on their behalf
I got into contortions, spontaneous mudras, like speaking in tongues with your hands, never been trained to do, never done before, seeing my fingers become like black widow spider legs, beautiful sacred geometric formations, like weaving a spider web, as I invoke her more and sing her in more, I become what looks like a mix of black soldier fly and cobra, slithering sounds, autonomically happening the more I surrender, seeing myself as sort of dragon fly mixed with black widow, seeing now how you can allow yourself to be, in a benevolent manner, but possessed, so she can devour demons through you
co-presence between dimensions, I had to think omg this is the fly, I’m Jeff Goldbloom, but that was so gruesome and hideous, but this was beautiful, how could that be re-imagined so it was totally beautiful…so the triumphantness of the incredible hulk, still shocking and bizarre, but whats’ the more beautiful transformation where you see it as totally beautiful and elegant, nothing horrific about it, what would that be, there’s a shape shifting character.
it’s like super mario brothers when you get the tanuki suit, you jump on the mushroom and then basically you become big, you go fast, you have super powers you jump high, game play is enhanced, and with the tanuki suit you get this magic item, this feather, if you get it you can jump and almost fly, you get lift off like a helicopter, its been a long time but the thing I’m pointing to is, imagine you have the power to shape shift, as powerful as incredible hulk but not as nasty and freakish as the fly, it’s not like a horror movie like Freddie Kreuger, nightmare on elm street part two where he comes out of the guy and just sheds him, that’s the ugly version, that’s not what I’m talking about, she’s elegantly sharing my space, I am her she is me, queen bee, cobra snake, transitioning to that with the beauty and elegance of the tanuki suit. Maybe in the Star Trek movie where Kirk ends up getting it on with a shape shifter, she was totally hot, she was actually a beast that can shape shift, imagine that you could totally shape shift into a creature and have it be seamless
it’s possible to invoke the goddess and for her to embody you, and not just putting on make up and pretending to be her iconic formation
I normally see her outside of me, this time more than ever, she enveloped me, I’ve been enveloped by her, clamped down on me, fucking me to purify my chakras, but still being outside of me, penetrating, workign through me, she can swim through me, but like being enveloped by a jellyfish, about to get teeth into my chakras
but this way, she is in my like thundercats
another bad version is like the Edgar suit from Men in Black, demons wear me like the Edgar suit, but Kali wears me to extract the demons from the Edgar suit so I can just be Edgar again, then she’s in the suit, but not possessing to do harm
Sufiana didn’t report becoming the insectoid being, but she described herself rolling out her tongue and hissing, the deity possession trance state, the shamanic healing state
I documented that process later, being very limited financially, very limited with legal sanctioning if at all, having some blessing and bold outlaws to join forces with me, not me manipulated a cult, but me offering educational tools, not involving my dick
I keep my pants on for people who are not my lovers, is that fair, that’s probably a fair way to say it, if you’re my client my pants are on, if you’re my lover, that’s negotiable
back to the non-invasive…able to move massive chunks, being rattled like a freight train, by her, squeezing and working with her to do the contracts, she’s doing the work of the abortion doctor, while I’ll in contracts and pushing out at the same time, it’s so harsh, but you know there have to have been abortions throughout time in crude conditions, certainly not modern legally sanctioned conditions, where the intent was to kill the fetus during the contractions of labor
she’s an insectoid alien goddess, with blackskin, and bejeweled eyes, like the tantric scriptures say, read the 1008 names of Kali and you’ll see the depictions
I need artists to help me with this, graphic novelists, visionary artists
if you could see a woman in labor, shaking convulsing, contracting, seizures and convulsion and simultaneously a female abortion doctor reaching in so as not to leave pieces inside trying to get everything out in one whole piece and eating that thing, but it’s not a baby it’s not in the womb, it’s demons in the chakras
an interplay between goddess kali as the hungry abortion doctor, it’s her doing what she’s evolved to do which is eat demons, I’m serving my demons to the goddess,
an interplay of surrender, and the embodying of the goddess through allow her energy and body to enter your body in a way that is non invasive, she is invasive but in a good way and in a welcomed way,
but no instruments, no cutting devices, no fingers, hands, sexual contact by humans, that’s the best way to describe what’s happening
been in this state many many times, what was different this time was the force
this was the first time I was able to do what I wanted to do all these years, was able to carry it out, to a potent degree, get a massive chunk of demonic biomass, with love and power and strength and courage of the goddess inside of me, her power to purge me, with her mandibles, ready to feast, and it being a much much bigger portion, to the degree that I got the sense that her stomach was full, it had only been oderves up to this point, they were just taking out small grains of rice with chopsticks, she was going in their with her salad tongs to get massive platefuls at once, she got so full, I felt like okay I’m exhausted, she’s full, but after these big chunks got out, hadn’t happened before
very light, blinding to the 3rd eye, sheaths my vision, no more seeing the demonic monsters coming out of me, that make alien look like bambi, all of it, once this massive chunk was taken out gets replaced by this beautiful white light, scaring me, did I damage my optic nerve, I’m just seeing pure white, fuck, there’s some kind of damage…no this is the loving light, dont’ freak out and panic now, go with it, enjoy
instructed to use my own hands, placed fingers against root chakra at the perineum, while the white light was there, use the power to seal the chakra, using massage, using this light healing energy, to use mudras, palm chakras, finger chakras, to do this healing work, like cauterizing a wound, the shakti through palm chakra and finger chakras whill the white light is there, wow, fuck yeah, anatomical surgical orthodoxy, what we think about when we talk about a chakra tune up
these analogies to auto mechanics and surgeons are very apt
you’re doing the work with her, auto-non invasive demonectomy
I had the power and free will to move my body, re-adjust for comfort, drink some water, get up and just make sure the door was locked, again, not ideal conditions
there you have it, what I’ve been working on for years, one of the most glorious since 5.5 year ago initiation with Sufiana
I would like to just be living in the world that we created, to never have been separated by financial duress, within the realm of reasonable periodicity, with medical staff, scientists, medical researchers, the Bangladesh UN security force, that’s what I fantasize about, having the support to do it right
this is like version 0.0001 of the technology, this is not ready, I don’t know what it’s ready for, if you’re suicidal right now and it’s a question of you killing yourself and you dabbling into what I’m talking about, I’m willing to take that risk, this isn’t medical advice, this isn’t therapeutic/psychiatric advise, I’ll make all the disclaimers, in the spirt of YOLO, (actually its not yolo because you live many times) don’t do this in the spirit that everybody wants to see the machine elves that Terence Mckenna talks about, this is a little more extreme than that, do this because it’s life and death for you right until we get the point with research to where so mild version exists, like salsa there will be mild, medium, hot, warning label, extreme hot
if you want to dabble because you’re an extreme case of demon infection, they’re in those hard to reach spots, there’s that song where my demons hide, you want to know, It’s possible to find out, I’m not gonna tell everyone to follow my path
Kali Mandir satsang, a lot of these scriptures, don’t think that they’re all agreed upon by all the priests and priestesses, there are things that are written in stone, but a lot of the scriptures were people exploring and taking notes, like a yogi could be saying “when I said this mantra, at this place and this time in this way, I got reversed gang banged by hot astral dakinis, and I don’t know if this will happen to you, this is me I’m doing me, you do you, I don’t want to implant thought forms and skew it, and contaminated the control group, I’m just trying to build on my own research, I love what the yogis say, talking about female astral non human entities, coming down purifying his soul and doing all this healing work, sounds like what I’m talking about and if he were on mushrooms he’d be able to describe in greater detail, or maybe he was a yogi that attained an endogenous psychedelic state
nothing new here, I’m saying things that have been suppressed for by patriarchy demonic war lords for 1000s of years, but were open source tech as sexual shamanic witchcraft, held by cultures of the world, just business as usually to maintain a shamanic community
when its a matter of infestation of lower chakras, there’s some modality that’s not creepy, predatory or abusive, to somehow empower people to have auto-non-invasive demonectomy sexorcism, auto invasive demonectomy sexorcism, I’ve milked my own prostate, kali possessing me, shards of light coming in, healing, demons coming out, most stunning gorgeous arrays, beauty is subjective, every woman and aspiring woman who ever put on make up with the intent to beautify herself, what every single one strives for is what can be seen when you invoke the goddess with these mantras, and with 3rd eye open with mushrooms
me doing me, phenomenologically, in my own bubble, the most beautiful feminine facial features, and graceful sensual movement, and just every woman or aspiring woman aspires to be, that’s what I’m given, that’s what I’m seeing and if it wasn’t for seeing that I would have ended me life a long time ago on this journey, the brutal beautiful truth is that you gotta go through hell to get to heaven, for the sake of what I’m saying now, I’ve seen the most grotesque creatures I could ever possibly imagine, and take all the monsters ever made in art and film and multiply that by a hundred, and you maybe will get close to how freakish and grotesque and disturbing and mortifying, miracle you’re not catatonic seeing this, the antidote to that hideousness, that makes it tolerable, to look at it as you’re pulling it out, the unpleasantness of removing a tape-worm, the unpleasantness of disinfecting that wound with that pus in it, and all of that, I know there are places in the world where there are blood parasite or urinary tract parasites, pulling a barbed fish parasite out of your urethra, that should feel pretty hideous and I bet that what I see in these ceremonies induces a similar level of mortification, disgust that you would have if you had to do that, while I’ve had to endure that hideousness, if you ever see the electron microscope of blood parasites, imagine if they were just, if you were in a realm where you were shrunken down to be in a massively dense cluster of all kinds of different blood parasites the ones with the circular mouths, and the ravor sharp thorny looking teeth, and weird suckers and pincers, the most alien, bizarre, monstrous, aquatic looking, arthropod looking blood parasites, imagine you were shrunken down a million times and being eaten alive but what, in scale wise becomes these giant giant monsters, then that’s what it feels like and looks like in there, I’m afraid to teach anyone to do what I have done because I fear that they would ever come back from that state of visual disturbance to where they wouldn’t just immediately slit there own wrists and literally rip there own eyes out,not knowing that they can’t reach far enough in to pull their pineal gland out, are you gonna crack open your head and pull your fuckin 3rd eye out and stomp on it, that’s what you’re gonna wanna do if you fuckin see the shit I’ve seen, omg, its nothing the shamans of the amazon don’t see every fucking day, it’s business as usual to have to confront these grotesque forms of life, if you know that you are bigger than them and you step back and you go no I’m not the shrunken millionth of a size me inside of of their world, their inside of my world and I can step up to them like standing up to a bully and I can exorcism them and I can purge them with the medicine, of course you have icaros in south America , and you have mantras in India, how to have syncretic shamanism, sacred sexuality and healing work, lets bring the best of the cultures and not be left with the patriarchal douche-baggery of suppressing the feminine
seeking the path of the goddess here we are, here I am
I get to see the antidote to that hideousness which is the extreme beauty
what makes it all worth it is the sweet beautiful blessed honor of beholding and being imbued with and making love with and being possessed by and suited up by, I have been suited up by the most loving most beautiful, most exquisitely constructed bioarchitecture deity, I don’t know maybe you gotta be the kind of person that things ants and bees are cute
this is the way to look at it, if you’ve ever thought of how in cartoons they’ve made ants and bees look pretty and feminine, and then sexualize that and m ake it into a super hot, goth, metal, sort of like, matrixy club, goth industrial club, shining latex, everything we think about the dark erotic, she is the dark erotic cartoon bee spider, just a cuteness and sexiness and a otherworldliness and an alienness, how many sexy beautiful loving aliens have we seen in sci fi, someone tell me, some show me some, I’m sure they’re in different comics and things, some of the arists they’re doing it, they’re bringing it, astral ecology with Tom Denney, his artwork is the cover of my book, you only have to wait until my book is released to see what I’m talking about, the beautiful feminine alien insectoid goddess who will turn you on, turn you inside out, but but you right back together, surgically restore the soul parts, tuck your chakras back in to your astral body, kiss you goodnight, tuck you in, all the works, the motherly maternal aspect, the sexual healing dakini wild, again, I’m saying nothing new, because you go to an orthodox kali puja and they are saying kali we love you you are the mother, you are the lover you are the friend, and not at all invoking, you hear the word mofo all the time in this culture, all over the world, I don’t know what’s going on there, this is not a Fredian Oedeple kink or neurosis, this is very different and it’s it’s own thing, I kind of went through my messiah complex already, at first I wanted everybody to fuckin know this, because it defeats the tyranny of all patriarchal world religions, more powerful more profound, more radical, more anarchistic, more revolutionary than any prophet, any christ, any saint, in buddha, any yogi,none of them delivery this unless they’re deep into the worship of kali or the tantric goddesses, of which kali is often considered to be the mother matriarchy, the queen bee of the many goddesses of the tantric pantheon, which is influenced with the vedic pantheon but has interplay ultimately with the village goddesses
the beauty is out there, the truth is out there, the beauty is in her, the truth is in there, you’ll see her the way I see her in Tom Denney’s book and on the cover of my book and I didn’t commission him to do that, he did that because he is tuned in as an artist, the way Terence Mckenna describes it to be an artist who sees the future, who can tap into the astral plane, or have the astral plane tap into them, wish me luck
pray for my protection, I’ll be doing my best to sheriff the perimeter of our reality and clean up the infection sites and to fortify the souls of the next generation and to really hospice the souls of this generation, where I am feeding and nourishing many goddesses and keeping myself as humble as possible with as small as a physical footprint of property ownership as possible, with as few possession as possible, and if surrender my money and wealth as it comes through as I have been doing to my beloved priestesses and trust that as long as they hold the sword above my hands and my head and they chose not to let the sword fall on to my arms and onto my neck than I will be continuing to do my work in a good way, and they will be the beneficiaries, they will be my sexecutioners if the time comes, each with their sharpened swords, ready to take a whack, so be it
In this episode I’m sharing the post-ceremony interview from Sexorcism the Tantric Opera Episode 01 “Erotic Ghostbusting”. It’s a trip to re-listen 3 years later and compassionately judge myself for how I walked a narrow path to sustain integrity to my bold claims. Life has not been a beach since then, in some ways I’ve flourished, in some ways I’ve floundered, but I’ve made progress, and as any aspiring scientific explorer knows, the process of proving out theories can be painfully slow. All in all, every breakthrough big and small will always be sweeter the fewer and further between that they are. The wisdom of the shakti energy of transformation can be fast, but it can also be slow. Trusting, keeping the faith, and holding on for dear life to the integrity of scientific methods and medical study ethics is the name of the long game…
In this episode I’m sharing the pre-ceremony interview from Sexorcism the Tantric Opera Episode 01 “Erotic Ghostbusting”. The episode included a beautiful and powerful selection of clips from the full interview and I’ve been holding on to the whole interview for a while with the intent to eventually publish. After re-listening I feel that I’ve held true to the values and principles spoken over 3 years ago now. While I’ve told my story many times, each context brings different energy, passion, purpose, and insight to the transpersonal and universal themes contained within. The moment in my personal evolution that this interview documents is, in a classical tantric sense, as timeless and permanent as an ancient stone, yet as fleeting and transitory as a rain drop over the ocean. I was blessed to be held and heard in this interview and I will return to this moment if I ever feel led astray from my core. It’s impossible to resist change of all kinds, but the spirit of resistance will always adapt to survive.
In this episode I’m joined by Grace Diaz who is standing strong in her Bitch Goddess power to tell a story of rebellion against the forces of patriarchal narcissism, manipulation, intimidation, and abuse. In this scandalous sexpose, she takes a constructive, conscious, proactive approach to raising awareness about the larger cultural issues. Her demands for justice transcend her own personal gain, and she’s working to support and liberate all women.
The issues that are brought up are raw and extreme, but the sad truths must be brought to the light. I bow down to her courage to speak out, and it’s an honor to hold space on the podcast for her to share her story. We’ve been through a lot of powerful material together on the podcast and our sense of solidarity increases every time.
My passion of healing began at the age of ten, when my father, a Reiki Master of 20 years initiated me as a Reiki Master in Medellin, Colombia. For years after arriving back to the United States, I began teaching Usui Reiki all over the east coast.
Reiki lead me to Tantra. I was introduced to Shakti-Pakti-Tantric-Yoga by my Guru Tafari Sudra, in 2011, and it allowed me to heal my 10-year eating disorder. Our organization, YONI GRACE, LLC was birthed in 2012 when I felt the burning need to share the wisdom I was experiencing through Yoni Breathing.
In 2012 Grace began distributing Yoni Eggs wholesale worldwide and teaching thousands of women how to run a Yoni Egg business from home!
Grace hosts Yoni events in the Las Vegas area and internationally. In 2016, she was privileged to be hosted in Istanbul, Turkey. There, Grace and 35 Muslim women participated in a weekend workshop of the Yoni Egg practice with Yoni Yoga. Her classes are one of a kind and focus on helping women embrace their innate sensual wisdom for spiritual and physical wellness.
Please visit her website at:
AI Generated Transcription:
(Want to help with corrections? Please contact me to learn about rewards for your efforts!)
Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear beloved’s welcome to Tantra Punk podcast episode number 2 0 9 this is a very interesting show again with Grace Diaz who is going to tell all in a sort of very a very scandalous sort of sex pose a talking about issues that she has been confronting that or you could say or within and Beyond the me-too movement and different experiences and insights having overcome some pretty heinous treachery on the part of an individual who will remain unnamed but who she is in a sort of psychic battle with for the soul retrieval shamanic healing work needs to happen for her to restore her her true dignity and her her highest glory and grace as independent Sovereign woman in charge of your own destiny and I’m very proud to be instrumental however I can to support that process for all women and certainly I am a a defender of the only Temple because I myself have been a Survivor and in ways have been violated and abused in and taking advantage of often or in many ways that women who have been victimized and who are survivors have so I have that compassion I have that ability to commiserate and I also am on a path of personal healing and transformation that would continue to inform me about the importance of composting the patriarchy starting with myself and really figuring out ways that I can always be getting stronger hopefully always be getting wiser but also be giving back and also be helping in any way I can and just hoping for the best sort of case studies and caseloads to be applying myself too and I think that Grace’s is absolutely outstanding as one of the women who I dearly respect and honor and believe in the work she’s doing is so important to where she’s doing and I feel like when you tell we need to give prayers and help part the seas to make this path of empowerment and Liberation continue smoothly and for all of the all of the forces that are working against this movement of Liberation for them to be on all the forces seen and unseen for them to be really bound and and kept really in a place of safe distance for their own healing and transformation in processing so that there’s not a constant depletion of energy having to fight all these uphill battles with the Patriarchs who have so much the the the game board skewed and their favorites like such a rigged game in this casino of patriarchy and the more you peel back the onion just the more Sinister it gets so this episode gets into some pretty raw territory and I hope you can bear with it and understand that this is serious business in you know you start taking on these Empires and you got to watch your back so send his prayers with do this together like do you like the revolts of the dancers at the Jabba the Hutt bar and be like Princess Leia and use that chain let’s use those change to choke out our oppressors and give free all right with that said thank you very much enjoy the show Namaste good morning I’m glad I am live on my YouTube I made it my dogs don’t bark in the background how are you been I’m doing very well yes so that’s exciting new developments going on and just thrilled to be alive and just thrilled to hear about this expose that she have planned and I’m trying to think about what to call it it’s as trying to think of something like mess with a bitch goddess and you get the… I can say this now because I didn’t have I don’t have this password anywhere but literally one of my password was I’m a bitch goddess yeah make it make your passwords or a long complex daily affirmation that only you understand that’s a good one Beauty forced to give the positive reinforcement I like it okay so let’s talk about it so I got my letter in the mail so I’m going to fill in everybody who doesn’t know what’s going on when I’m talkin about I know you know the details so I’m going to just cover in a really you know like just just so everybody knows what’s going on so I was in a relationship for 6 years I was pretty much unaware that the disproportionate power dynamics were a problem I at the time when I was in relationship to this person who you know like the whole thing with the with a female movement and and fighting against like a charcoal abusive power like I was cool with they’re being disproportionate power dynamics because I thought that I joined that power source and it was going to be and it was like my power to you know what I mean like I didn’t know that that power is going to be used against me and so a lot of people say and I’m talking about an older gentleman that you know a prominent attorney in in Maryland former judge and I was in relationship to him for 6 years very beautiful relationship until I really started discovering the like I was I was basic basically a narcissistic supply for him and I didn’t know that I was a narcissistic supply for him until I stopped supplying him because I started growing beyond my young twenty-two-year-old naive self at the time he was like in his late sixties and so I was with him because I thought that he could help me because he was helping me and he was so adamant about supporting me and helping me go through school and helping me you know start my business and everything like that and so I thought that I was joining the disproportionate power source and I want to make that really clear because there are a lot of women these days that join it’s it’s like it’s like you joining an institution it’s like you you think that the institutions going to be on your side you know if you’re not here if you think you are you know what I mean and so that’s where I was coming from I was coming from you know like everything’s honest and transparent everything’s authentic everything is being spoken aloud between me and my partner and so I am just like many girls I believe you know who put themselves in these situations and everyone’s like no don’t do it like you so much older than you more money than you he has so much more legal power than you don’t do it don’t do it and I’m like why would I not do that like she can she can really help me and he does really love me so you know… You’re the antagonist to telling me not to do it you know what I mean when really what a lot of these people are trying to do is really help you and nnn because this unfortunately did SKU against my favor and I am you know if you didn’t see my other coming out video I talked about a gag order that I received once me and him broke up and I unfortunately signed it under duress I was very I don’t want to go over too many of the details but pretty much that’s like the backstory and so anyway so I opened an investigation with this against the person because a lot of the behavior that they wanted me to hush about a lot of illegal activity and he was he’s just afraid that I’m going to speak out and so here I am speaking out because he put me in a position where you wanted to silence me two years ago by me being depressed about what to do about this having no legal aid or support at all and so I decided to open an investigation and put the power in my hands and really take care of this motherfucker so that’s the backstory well congratulations for stepping out in and breaking the silence and I know that all is divine blessings will be coming your way to help with all that’s needed and this is just the tip of the iceberg and it’s the entire imagix think of a Jabba the Hutt and I just think they were all in this Cult of Jabba the Hutt because this Dynamic with young women and club culture and I know it’s all throughout Vegas and you just see I’m in Vegas is sort of the the Dream the ultimate Global masculine dream of being able to be a guy who is successful in business or what whatever and then basically is able to have this pseudo Harem of of skimpy skimpy dressed model-esque women who were pretty much just either totally vacant mentally or they or even if they’re not that kind of have to fake it and play like that because who would actually be entertained by people in that this guy sounds like an actual like he has redeeming qualities and then he’s not the the the the lowest slug sloth of a of a male that’s ever lived which makes it more painful I’m sure because then there is some attention City to it and even more heartbreaking because if he was at if he was just a bastard through and through then it wouldn’t be it will be probably less painful to go through but this is what I’ve learned with my research with dealing with narcissists there’s three different kinds of narcissists there’s the ones that like Donald Trump it’s like out your face and everyone knows it and then there’s the covert narcissists like The Bill Cosby they talk about you know like morality that talk about empowerment empowering the community and then they’re actually like raping women behind the scenes you know and so that’s the category in which I would put this fellow into and he is a covert narcissist and even though he on the service doesn’t look like the lowest scum in my opinion I really believe that specifically these types of covert narcissist build their whole lives assembling a a portrait of how good they are because internally they believe they know actually that they are the lowest scum you know like that’s there at least obviously nope no human is scum like there’s no City like I personally don’t believe that any human being even though you may have done some of the worst things ever like on a soul level on a on a on a truce like the ultimate truth level every person has a spirit and soul and we’re here basically trying to demonstrate her lessons were here to try to demonstrate our understanding our our Consciousness pass you know the stream of Consciousness that we’ve been through for so many lifetimes maybe perhaps and I don’t believe that you know any person is is release come we’re just trying to figure things out and so obviously he’s not scum like deep down inside he believes he is like that’s what a covert narcissist really believes on a very unconscious level you know he doesn’t he doesn’t even know that he thinks about himself but that’s why he’s put his whole life and trying to be a legal superhero you know especially till like the black community and everything like that and and look what he was doing behind-the-scenes he would he basically and my my response to this investigation because I do have to submit a response to which is basically just talking about how all of his efforts go into selecting women to be with that are disproportionately less educated than them that are disproportionately significantly younger than than them like I’m 45 years younger than him you know like that’s a lot that’s a lot that’s like Beyond what’s even normal for like large gaps you know disproportionately like even even me being Colombian like like no one in my family knows anything about law here you know what I mean like no one no one in my family knows like the court system necessarily like how to actually like do things you know because we’re not really from here and then and I really do think that that actually is a turn-on for a lot of these you know that getting that narcissistic Supply getting that narcissistic Supply specifically for this person like that was that’s a turn-on to have someone disadvantaged to be with because you don’t pose a threat to them yeah I hear that mean I think it’s the same archetype of the whole mail-order bride thing and you know I watch the documentary all about how in Southeast Asia the new cash crop isn’t race anymore it’s young women and families will basically cultivate their daughters to be sold off either into urban brothels or there’s a s’more sort of what I would call a lighter form of sex trafficking and then documentary they show that end this Village in Thailand every year they have a foreign husband of the Year festival and men compete and they go there they go they’ve basically they bring the wives that they exported these young women they exported them out of their village community as a cash crop export products and then the ones that were the most well-to-do and whatever the most handsome or dashing whatever it is they come back in a group several and they come back with their wives that they took out of the Village Inn compete for a sort of crown and there’s a big party in Festival like a traditional big let you know that kind of Festival event and you see that that I think I watched that guy the interview he was like 3 time winner in a row or something like that and just take this is such gnarly Twisted abuse and you know if anything they should just like take all that power and wealth in literally don’t take the woman out of her family and Village and take his ass over there and have them a Keisha pekid by their Village back from the corrupt government he could actually help people instead he’s just parading around and taking her to Disney World or whatever so and fucked up a thirty-year-old now you know when I was 22 at the time and I was with this individual I basically I didn’t understand I didn’t understand how this could go against me like I didn’t understand the stage that I was playing you know according like Shakespeare and everything like I didn’t understand my stage like I didn’t understand that it was so our groneck then about this whole situation the most ironic thing is that I am a female empowerment like leader so it would get it like how could I not you no speak out break my silence against this mother fucking stupid gag order contract that really attempted to just Sally my work solely my you know my voice and everything and and so anyway and so it was you know I just I just really didn’t understand what I was getting into and now this this man I’m just so grateful that women are really stepping out women are really biting their voice because this is true like there’s so many needs to women and and I I don’t even like labels I don’t even like killing myself necessarily A me too but that’s really the category that I feel most identified with because I feel like this all happened in secret and my only voice is coming out publicly and talkin about it my only voice is to be able to say Hey you know I went through this and I right now I’m trying to fight it by holding this person accountable and what interesting actually about this individual’s response regarding this investigation that’s going on is that he’s really just trying to portray me as being hysterical as me being hysterical that’s really all he has he says that I’m trying to extort him that I’m trying to threatened him and all of that and so honestly you know whenever you whenever the disempowered party uses their power really was interesting about this whole situation now with the me-too movement is that now the power Dynamic is starting to be a little bit more even-keeled and that is so frightening to the other to the abusive party you know what I mean and so I’m just I’m basically just talking about this like even talk about this right now it’s like I’m a little nervous like I’m a little like but even just talking about it like I’m it’s scary you know what I mean and I’ve silenced myself I’ve gone along with the stupid contract for like 2 years and me finally get into this place where I can’t even talk about it even in this vague sense is scary you know and I didn’t do anything wrong I’m not doing anything wrong but I have this fear of speaking out against this gag order contract. I don’t abide by I don’t respect it I don’t believe it I was in such a horrible place and everyone knew it I had no legal support at all and so yeah and so basically you know me talking about this this is very very helpful and I appreciate it band and it’s a little scary but I’m very grateful that you’re letting me you know talk about it with your audience to so my viewers are saying that they’re bored with me talking about this they’re saying they’re bored I’m thrilled because this is this is the kind of fun this is the boldness that is that if it’s take if you worship the fierce goddesses then you will be emboldened and you will stop taking shit and you will let the sword of truth / down the Egos and the demon real estate the demons in and as far as I’m concerned you know this whole concept that you can use the apparatus of the state I mean I’m an anarchist and I believe that human beings are intelligent enough and and sweet-hearted enough to at the right scale of a village basically solve our problems collectively and have consensus in our decision-making did not have the shadow authoritarian violence backed forces of the of the Empire to protect the private property and wealth of elite classes I don’t believe in any of that shit and even if you got it from a doing good things if you’re going to use it to I mean I see this all the time it’s it’s rampant in the activist communities it’s rampant in that the punk rock movement that I’ve been in at everybody has every man every man has got their hands in the cookie jar of minors and also like I can specifically remember times in my life when I had a lot of young women all around me because I’m in a band and you know there’s this weird disproportionate population pyramid in the punk rock scene where it’s like most of the bands are made up of men and that’s likely changing to an didn’t beautiful movements right girl excetra where it where women have formed all girl bands and creative niches within the genre but but that was a backlash to but basically the standard. I’m in that in the music scene the name a punk is it it’s like it isn’t a pretty somewhat balance ratio of young men and young women teenagers who get into the scene when they’re you know when they’re rebelling against their parents and they’re going to high school and they’re sharing mixtapes and things to make it into it but then because of the inherent sexism in the scene it’s really only men who teach each other to play instruments for the most part and and so they dominate the the actual bills on the shows and they dominate just being the musician so what happens is because the guys stay in the bands by the time everyone else grows out of it by the time they get real jobs and have real families like they stop going to shows I stop partying all the time so you’re left with this this population pyramid where it’s like a lot of Aging Men playing their instruments being the rockstars and there’s no women who who follow them up that age curved it’s only man staying in the band so they only have access to all the time women so I’ve been in that reality for decades now and I’ve outgrown those you know that there’s there’s not there’s not a lot of women there are some and believe me I worship them their goddesses they’re bad asses vocalist and guitarist bases drummers you name it but they’re also fighting an uphill battle to not be raped and not being molested and abused and sexually be respected in the scene and I cherish them all and I’ve worked with many of them I play in bands with women and they kick ass and they fucking prick everybody to shame but this the point I’m making is that I’m from another sector this is like you could be the most self-righteous you know conscious political activist whatever and really most guys as far as I’m concerned don’t even know how to not put their hands in the cookie jar because it’s it’s so if that women can be young and seductive and they can be it in blacked out and there’s just like recipes for disaster everywhere it sounds like you had a not as debaucherous of a of a journey is I’ve been apart of what I’ve been a part of a lot of these abuse allegation Community resolution issues where we didn’t use the government or the state or lawyers because we were anarchists and we believe that we saw her Camino problems together as a community and people sometimes got beat down people some cat X got run out of town people sometimes were given opportunities to earn Redemption by doing service work in the community and working and rape crisis centers and actually getting re-educated from the ground up so I’d hope that there would be pressure from a larger community and yes the me-too movement but they scab that image when you saying that you feel you know nervous it’s like I think we’re at a Tipping Point where where the the thousands of little fish make that big one giant fish and together they all and swallow the one bully fish that was bigger than each of them individually right and thank you for saying all of that I am so what’s interesting is that one of the people on here just said so what do you want I think that’s a really good question like I should focus on what what do I want from that situation so what do I want from the situation so I don’t really believe that this covert narcissist ever going to apologize is ever going to recognize how much of a fucking bully he is how much of his patterns you know and in all of that I don’t think he’s ever going to acknowledge that in previously what I wanted was for him to cease this three-year timeline because I’m on the contract he specifically constructed a three-year timeline even after we broke up to have me hanging on a string because he purchased things for me you know I purchase a vehicle we purchase certain things for me that were really his and so he was just giving me money to pay for the things that she got me that I wasn’t ever responsible for paying anyway and so he just kind of was giving me little chunks of it 3 years out and you know I really argued to just have one you know just just close everything out just pay for everything one lump sum he could have done that but you can give it to me you got to just close down his account like the car payment for example just close that and so what he did was he did the 3-year timeline to keep me hanging so originally what I wanted was just get rid of that that 3 year timeline because it was suffocating me I couldn’t I couldn’t I just felt like I was under his under under his word like under his Timeline under his contract under his thing you know and I didn’t like that so what I want now now that this three-year timeline is pretty much over why I feel more comfortable talking about it is I just really want to share this message with women I really I really want to be comfortable sharing my story which I’m not still which is why it’s so vague and everything I want to be really comfortable sharing my story I want to relate to women that it’s okay to fight against the grain I want to call wish my book How The vaginal voice reclaim your story which is basically the story in more detail and lessons and and and breathing and had a really transmute at all that’s really what I want I really want at least use the lesson that I have all the pain that I have felt I want to use it in some way to translate it so that other women can kind of take my Consciousness and apply it to the bullshit they may be going through with other narcissistic you know Outlets other narcissistic men and women even so that is a very weird too cuz I think a lot of survivors of all kinds of abuse in trauma find that purpose and it’s the only way really to transcend whatever degrees of self-doubt or shame you know to it it’s take it takes a lot of boldness to overcome that shame for sure by speaking out about it but I keeping it inside and letting it Eat You Alive and you know I don’t I don’t talk about it publicly but I need to get comfortable doing that you know and I’m so anyway so I just want to say this to all the men that are following me cuz I have a lot of you know if you want to lift a woman up you will reap so much positive Karma I mean you will reap so much positive even another man children if you lift them up but if you if you intentionally strategize a way to suppress and oppress someone that is so going to come back to you like so much harder I mean this the person that I’m talking about May potentially not be able to practice law anymore I mean I don’t know what the consequences will be one of the specifics that I would like to highlight that is being investigated right now is that when I went when I attended one of his speeches cuz he gave speeches all around Washington DC and Baltimore actually really Nationwide but memes specifically in those two places so I went with him one time to DC and he was getting up an actual speech on police brutality he and I were driving back from the Washington Monument where he gave his you know his thing and he had someone else he was living with somebody else at the time you know he feel like a decade he was with somebody else already and I knew that already together for several years but he always wanted me to be quiet when this other person called because he was trying to give the illusion that he was always by himself obviously he wasn’t and so my phone made a noise in the car and I was already pissed at him it was already towards the end of our relationship and and so he he swung his hand at me and it smacked me in the face he was trying to I think you’re trying to get my phone or maybe he really was trying to hit me I’m not really sure but either way he smacked me in the face so hard that it gave me a bloody nose and so she immediately said it was my fault like the first thing you do if you have a bloody nose is you say my bad didn’t mean to do that that wasn’t what I was trying to do something that communicates you weren’t trying to do that you know what I mean at minimum if not apologize as well right he just kept on saying how it was my fault the whole time because he knows I should have known I knew my phone should have been on silent it was my fault so that’s what’s being investigated right now is was he intentionally trying to hit me you know what I mean cuz that would that’s the mean that would be a really big deal so because he didn’t apologize because he said it was my fault even at the time I I stayed quiet and I didn’t record it I mean four years I didn’t say anything because I just took it as he’s just angry just stay quiet just you know he’s just upset just you know it was a mistake but that was me really covering up all of this narcissistic skewed power Dynamic situation you know me playing along with it and so when I opened up this investigation also you know what fuck this I’m going to really tell tell the story like it really what I just said it just like this I reported it right and so that’s what’s actually being that’s I think the main thing what I believe is the main thing is being investigated from him along with many other any other things that I think should also go looked at but it looks like this is just being highlighted which you know is is fine I guess but yeah so what’s interesting is that this person even though he’s a lawyer he completely lied and made up a story and his response back about it that just made me look hysterical and he said that I was trying to grab the wheel and you try to protect yourself from me actually and that’s why he hit me I feel like a courtroom drama is such a theater of bullshit art anyway it’s just it makes me think of what you just said that it makes me think that it’s it’s a it’s a tragedy that the people who actually represent their clients and have to tell these ridiculous stories that are the that you know I mean I’m going to take your word for it because I just have that bias I’m sorry I take I take women’s words after I take I take one with the word what is it what’s that word you say not unquestioningly but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt in this in this case I give you the chance to the doubt and we’ll start there and then it and then it’s funny because I was just thinking right now so you just described your telling of that incident and it makes me want to see in a courtroom it’s like the future of of courtroom drama okay like you have a Hollywood production crew and they get models and actors in and it a whole production crew together to actually make a historical re-enactment docudrama of just that that scene and then after the after you get to show yours your docudrama this evening we get to watch his it’s like you’re screaming for swerving and people are like like women walking with the with their carriages and dogs suffer like screaming and running and having to jump into the fountain and oh my God yeah just like any narcissist portrayed himself like the victim and even though so not a victim I mean this man is millionaire I mean he’s very highly educated he’s in the position of power in the community he’s a mentor to like other officials in the community other governmental officials and you know it’s it’s really the biggest question that I have is why would someone like that want to be in a relationship with someone so societally disempowered like like myself I mean I was in a societal no position at the time like I was I was really a nobody you like what would turn you on like that’s what I really want to know like now that I look at it from hindsight like why would that really turn you on if you would someone like that and it’s because of the power Dynamic it really is what turns them on it’s that they have more power that’s it so has nothing to do with the other person right to have somebody be your equal obviously it takes half your power away when you can be when you don’t see them as your equal or they don’t stand up for whatever reason in your case not because you were extremely introverted or shy but probably more just that you were younger and figuring out life and you know then that’s another another for predators that’s I think you’re kind of yours it’s just it’s honestly Brown like it’s really disgusting yeah well that’s it’s really an and I was practically homeless at the time as while I was living out of my friend’s closet shuttle walk-in closet that was empty and I was that was where I stayed was with my friend I mean with interesting if I got it I got a question for you will come back to it so what’s interesting is that in this does have to do with my particular role in the situation but what I did which I hope every woman does the situation of really anyone who’s in a disempowered situation you have to use the tools are being given to you in order to lift yourself up and so I did start my own business he tries to take full credit for that he also tries to take full credit for my bulimia being healed you know he he always and that was actually one of the reasons why the breakup was was so like a seal the deal like he kept on saying to me you know I was really what I was writing my book and I started publishing it and I was talking about my bulimia being here. He started saying to me I healed it you know that it wasn’t it wasn’t you it wasn’t your practice it wasn’t anything that you were doing I healed and he said it so many times it was just so it just it just made me like see him clearly for the first time you know and so my advice that really anyone in a disempowering situation like that is really just to use whatever tools and resources are being provided to you use them to your benefit and I was able to walk away with the business I was able to walk away with more education I was able to walk away feeling in this order that I had I was able to walk away with more confidence with more understanding I was able to walk away also at with with with a reputation and my reputation it is working with women and now is working with men to doing the lingam breathing thing I just started doing that like a year ago but they’re saying leave the trauma well that’s about it so yeah so that’s that’s pretty much everything been you know I’m I’m I’m still trying to get comfortable talking about it I’m still trying to make cheese with the situation so the if we were to this is all say what you had a couple questions weren’t you know talking about what is what is it that these men in the end I think it’s just you know a kid in a candy store if you can get to that point I mean from my perspective I think what happens is most men in their horniest and most viral life years are also the most broke the most pimply the highest pitched voices and the most socially awkward and really unattractive to women as they’ll ever be so it’s really it’s a really bizarre mind-fuck to be a horny teenager and have no game and have only certain jocks with clear skin be the ones who get to be the prom King and they tend and they tend to do what people call peaking in high school meaning you think you’re that you know King of the Hill and you can hear the king bully or whatever the king jock and you get to be the prom king and you get you in the popularity contest and you get laid on you know on prom night or whatever but then after that you kind of go downhill and you just kind of lose your your mojo and you just join the workforce and you just reminisce on the old football days or whatever and you don’t really continue to strive and to achieve and to impress women maybe you’re locked into a sexless marriage and you know of any search Just For Men is about impressing women like on a subconscious level is that like whatever it is that like the power game like trying to get power I think you’re getting that you’re getting at it for sure which to me I have my psychoanalysis on myself and I can try to transpose this and and project it to a degree around me after my you know brother Circles of men’s groups and Tantra Meetup to know that it’s like the trauma I think with men is that because their ends up being a very disproportionate level of sexual starvation during your Peak years of sexual of what should be your sexual prowess and really only a handful of men get to experience that glory and then what happens is you just rot inside and you become obsessed and it takes maybe many failed marriages and many decades to become a professional success and then finally once your boner start getting soggy have money you have power and now your voice is a little bit lower your skin is in his pimply and your face isn’t do you don’t have baby fat on your face anymore and so you are becoming more attractive to women but also you have a SOG your boner and and honestly the aura of younger women in their Prime in their fertility Prime gets men’s dicks hard after they’ve gone soggy in 40 and above years so that is like this this weird kind of like sick joke that that Creator create Rick’s goddess I don’t know God whatever like Evolution whatever it it makes this interesting inverse situation and it really makes everybody lose in the modern Paradigm because if we were to acknowledge the Arc of male testosterone and also acknowledged The Arc of female fertility then we would celebrate older women being cougars and fucking younger men who are more Vero and we would celebrate older men getting your dick hard with younger women who are who are more fertile and that would solve a lot of problems are you interested in dating in your fountain of youth exactly you’re the Fountain of Youth there you go man who is making a lot of powerful decisions that I could be a feminine softener like I could saucin him a little bit because he was he probably is like he usually very hyper mess he let you know and he still is hyper masculine very hyper masculine and I did it it did turn me on to know that I was with a powerful man and I could be some type of Aid to him in my naivete well I will yeah I’ll tell you I’ve been in this is actually an awesome so we’re getting into some really you know I’ve got Goose Bumps thinking about this because this is the truth and the Heart of the matter that we have to explore to be honest as a culture about these Dynamics cuz that look at the Dos Equis commercial and I’m like yeah give me a fuckinbreak you know come on what is this really about is this guy or earned the respect of these women are those all his granddaughters you know what the fuck is going on here you know we all have that like sort of what the fuck is this guy doing at this bar with his 10 granddaughters what is it like you know what the hell is no ionic and it’s it it is really disgusting and disturbing because he used to an innocent with a narcissist will do to try to position his environment to mirror his power back to him and so he would say things like that to me like oh you know it’s it it turns you on that you know people see us and they think that you know I’m taking advantage of you and it turns me on to know that you know the real story and you know that I really take care of you and I really love you and I really all these other people were looking at us on the outside you know fuck them I was like that’s what I felt like I feel like this is proportionate power dynamics between us I didn’t see them because I thought I was part of his power now like I I thought I was he was part of my power and I was part of his power that’s what I thought with joining forces with him you know what I mean and in my naivete in my in cuz that’s what he led me to believe and what’s interesting is that he used to say to me a lot used to say you know I it’s about protecting me you don’t protect me baby it’s about protecting me for acne protect me when I would you know carry drugs with him and travel with him and put the you know the drugs up my pussy for him and do all this illegal bulshit with him he used to say Protect Me protect me like me take the hit like basically he was he was grooming me for years to take the hit for him you know and I always knew that and I hated that I hate that you would put me in that position but as the subordinate in that situation as the you know as as the the less or equal one I I would give you what you would say and I didn’t have family around me I think would also would also made him want to be with me is that I didn’t have family around me I didn’t have a man I didn’t have anyone around me you know I live around me a little bit of the time but she didn’t really do anything either like no one did anything like no one did anything and you know the whole the whole relationship with him grooming me to protect him so that I could take the hit if something ever happened I’m leaving out a lot of details that’s well that’s a very good stuff very interesting now I don’t think anyone forward after hearing about you shoving drug drugs up your pussy to protect the man is I mean in and I can commiserate because I will tell you I was in a similar relationship Dynamic with a woman who is ridiculously wealthy beyond my wildest imagination and I was in a relationship Dynamic with her that was very powerful sex magical power couple manifesting you know really the living the dream and she was almost 20 years older than me and I would say there was a real sincere beautiful love and adoration mutually going on but there’s also some subtle undertow currents going on of me basically waking up one day discovering that I had been tricked into being a come slave and that she was harvesting my seed in order to rejuvenate her Essence and that is something known to the Chinese Taoist and there are women who were empresses in The the more classical ancient age of Chinese sexual Kung Fu amongst the Imperial class and women were were known to actually like men alive with their pussies and kill them by sucking and Driver season almost dead I was like a tripled up and I had to go to hospital no it wasn’t that bad but you made you come like ever they all the time so nuts what will swallow it into the into the fine tissues it for a for vaginal canal and you know otherwise but you know mainly it’s it’s the way it gives you gets absorbed in Mexico older women are lusting and they getting these passionate make it into heat you know wild passionate fiery heat for the Young Bucks seed and the Chinese knew that it may take out get this the Chinese we have this it it’s something some people have tried to myth busted but supposedly there’s this mythical Cult of the white tigress and the white tigress Cult of essential Chinese types of yoginis you would say they understood these Dynamics and they had an astrological clock work of how they would ingest in I don’t know why but nothing just sit in their ass but at least they in the mouth in the vagina they were ingesting taking in male semen but they knew that they need to have a certain ratio of older more refined more semen retention men they were so they would have an older guy at a certain phase of the moon and then 10 younger guys at it another phase of the moon and basically they were figuring out how to like nurse themselves as if this is like a you know I mean it really is that guy that the semen is filled with nutrients that’s what is called Baby battery you know that’s not us that’s no joke another stick important nutrients in there and so it should be a beautiful Dynamic and when you look at what they’ve done with that culture you know they understood these things and if you were a man and you didn’t want to be you no SEC drive your semen you have to learn semen retention to survive the Wrath of the fucking and so it’s like this said that they call it the flowery Battlefield you know him and that’s how they eat that’s how they collided with poetic language of the war of the Sexes but sexual Kung Fu flowers Battlefield in are they had they had no, that’s for the Jade egg comes from when we were talking about sophisticated sex with Warriors we can figure it out again and you have kind of like yeah you’ve broken free and now you are like resurrecting that the power of the witch witches to actually run this stuff and I don’t I don’t blame her but it was sad because of a certain point I was like you know I’m learning more about Tantra I’m learning at that I’m getting to a point where I need to stagger my my release you know a little bit and so that was just to see if she lost her fucking mind as if I took away her heroin and it was just like she went crazy and it all went downhill and we broke up and it was extremely ugly and there was total Madness cuz you just wanted to come last that was a part of it then and then she wanted me to reverse my vasectomy in and I said no you are doing black magic and I can feel that you’re doing black magic to try to get Knocked Up by me so that you can keep me for around forever which I am I told you I’m polyamorous is not going to happen oh my God it’s like I hope I hope no one’s hearing this everybody to shut this off and deleted file or not we have got to come clean about these secret bedroom psychodrama the monado Pathak he used to do now since we’re talking about this so he used to say to me when we were having sex and mind you he always had to be on top of me always he always wanted to be looking down at me or you will say to me at the hot the climax of my orgasm he would say you know you want to get pregnant he would say you know I want to get you pregnant you know you’re my come slave you know your he was just sleeping ideas into me to make me fall for him all the time and then again making that power Dynamic more skewed as much as possible and so me being naive at the time I took everything he said no but he’s my man you know I love him he’s my man if he wants me to be his come slave I’m going to be home slave like I literally like I just took I didn’t think about anything he was saying to me as being a ways of positioning me to be more submissive to him to be I mean I knew that I knew that I knew that I was being submissive to him you know because he was my man and everything and and I loved him and anything you said to me I just wanted to make him happy I just wanted to make him give him what he wanted I didn’t see it as that black magic that you were talking about and so some of the things you would say to me sometimes some of the things you would slip in I would look at myself and be like does he did he really say that does he really want me to do that in me you would start talking about my friend you know you want to lick her pussy and like trends that I really didn’t want to do that with like friends I really didn’t have any interest in having threesome with or anything like that I’m so he would just slip things into me slip slip things in my psyche specifically when I was about to come like that’s really important you know and cuz you’re so you’re highly suggestible at that time like you can take any suggestion and in real you’re taking it in like your brain waves are or like sleep weight like when you’re dreaming there like your brain waves are in a much more you just absorb more when you’re in that frame of mind and so he would say that to me and now looking at it in hindsight he was really was just trying to brainwash me really you know I mean this was every day for years you know what I mean he always forced me to smoke weed before we had sex I didn’t want to I was like I don’t want to and I really do believe that now the issues that I have with marijuana like I really stepped back to that situation because he used to he literally stuff like physically coerce me like physically like he didn’t like push me but he would like to kind of would like even if he would just really like put me in situations and be like okay just take it just take a hit just do it and then he would want to have sex with me so that my mind would be even more open to suggestions from creep adelic shit and now I realize we’re going to have to name this podcast abolishing come slavery or you’re both of the come slaves cuz we both what your focus becomes today yeah okay alright fuck it is going to fly it’s going to fly just like that we’re going to we’re going to I was going to think of something very prudent and the moment you know she wasn’t on your team Edward and I would have died for I would die for him I would have littorai I love this man so much I was going to name my baby after him I’ll do a braid my baby’s hair just like his hair I was going to do all this stuff to just honor and commemorate him forever I was even trying to get a mural done of him on the side of a building in Baltimore that I just thought he deserved it that he did so much for the community but he deserved it but again behind the scenes he’s fucking up women did you receive the Malcolm X did you see the Spike Lee Malcolm X film with Denzel Washington I think you should really really watch that like really soon because that and show Girls as I mentioned before Showgirls will give you that sort of that cynical view on the the underbelly of Vegas for sure and kind of like bolster your your it’ll kind of inoculate you against a lot of the Vegas bulshit but if you see if you are shot Malcolm X it’s really a great film and you learn so much from it you know I can’t say from my studies how historically accurate is but it is really moving and like one of the things that they expose is this is the corruption of sexual excesses by spiritual leaders who claimed to have certain values and certain intentions and certainly preach certain values intentions but courser total Hypocrites and end up knocking up their servants or knocking up there just you know all these politicians Schwarzenegger it’s like it’s such a such a shitshow behind the scenes and and I think that you and I are or are seeking enlightened spiritual sexual Enlightenment within movements that at their best actually give us the tools to talk about this stuff and to be more honest about this stuff and you know I’m a little bit skeptical and weary of the country Colts and the the cult of personality around gurus and and what not but I do feel like it is the yoginis who are who are taking the power back and stealing the fire back and building their own temples in creating your own spaces where if you fix if I if you ask me where what would you ask if I had a conversation with this gentleman your cum Mass if you will I would say dear sir, Master I’m here to speak on behalf of your former come slave and and what we’re talking about now is like how you could have had your cake and eating it too and now you’re in you know some you know you’re in some some big trouble with with people who care about this stuff now but the thing that I would love to see is it like okay what if the women had the Deeds to the land what if the women manage their wealth collectively knowing that men are useful for physical labor some of them are useful for intellectual Pursuits and in service work but ultimately you know in a culture that worships the divine feminine life-giving aspect of Nature and the Oni and the wounded musically every everybody I mean women or in service to the womb regardless because they have to manage your menstrual cycle you have to manage your just rescuing like you don’t get a choice not to be a Yoni worship that your devotion is to your Yoni Temple you have no choice men have the option of whether to trash it and pollute it and abuse and rape it or they can be trained by women to have a sympathy and compassion towards the Oni and to actually devote themselves to building the temples that that that feed and nurse is stolen and in Steward the land so I imagine that a benevolent form of make sure where women are in as a sort of ecologically wise form of power that they would there would not be this shacking up to older men you have land and have money and have power but that power would not be granted to those men in the men would always be in a dynamic where they have to come and serve the temple to have to come and serve the goddess and they might get the blessing of a sexual experience if they planting of trees that day or Dig Inn recipes with build and rescue no cancel all of their effort and all of that you so you want to be you know like a hyper-masculine dominator will go dominate that pile of wood with that Axe and then and then will fucking Bayview down and and then we’ll fuck you fuck her brains out you know so that’s I’m I would ask the judge if there ever is a judge to adjudicate this matter to say can you please Institute matriarchal ecovillages for these men actually don’t take themselves in so they can have like an ethical you know what would it be you wouldn’t be a common slave you would be a cam princess to come Queen if I’m got it I’ve had I’ve had witches intelligently harvest my semen for Magical ritual purposes and offerings to their devoted. He’s so it’s like we can all become slaves if we devote ourselves property to the right you know the right being so you know on the other side of the veil but we we got a long way to go for sure this is the tip of the iceberg and you know if he in in his lawyers and the signs and errors and representatives and you already had it I listening to this. Gaston like you know I’ll see you let’s meet the stance on the astral plane and I’ll introduce you to some of the humbling dakinis who are going to make you want to repent you know and there’s hope I promise ya ya I loved it then so I really agree with everything you said I think the Met charcoal ecosystem is definitely the way it’s it’s a problem solver for many many problems not just come slaves problems but like the environmental issue I think you know the beauty of man like me being single right now in wanting you know like company and everything and and and you know I I I I still yearned a man like I still yearn to be in a relationship but I mean honestly like I just I’m at the point now where I’m really every man has their purpose you know what I mean just like I’m sure a lot of men who date multiple women like every woman has their purpose and so sometimes like you just most of the time we just need a man around like you said for intellectual conversation and a lift heavy things and I think that’s very honorable like I mean I that was what else what like what else can can we ask for you know what I mean like we don’t need all of this extra bulshit that you’re trying to do you know like that’s really all I need right now as I just I just want an intellectual conversation just like this and I need help lifting some heavy things and I would love to provide my Yoni goddess energy to you in exchange for any of the help she would like to give me you know well are we still are we still on the air do I get to do we get to Publix at live is that if I could I said official proposal because I said no and then and I’ve got like you know Mister the dream team of a stunt cocks and like there’s you need help I need a lot of help lifting things here I need to bring my trapeze in there’s a lot of women can’t make it by themselves you know what let me say this is going to sound a little random but honestly me going to this healing process I have been batting men away because I’ve just been here like I’ve been a little bit more short with with people like with my words and you know just trying to keep things limited cuz I’m I’m healing I’m not healing anymore it right now like I’m out of it but the first two years of moving to Vegas was brutal and and honestly you know yeah I just I just really I just really needed help I just really needed support and you know I’m I feel a lot better now I feel a lot lighter now but yeah I I still need help we all all women need a man even the lesbians and everything like we all we all yearn for that masculine energy to protect us provide for us in touch even if it’s our old masculine energy but it is I was starving for it for so long then I was so miserable for so long healing and trying to get over this trying to make sense of it and try to use the lesson and some benefits away and come out like a phoenix and make it work and you know we as I still want to be with a man Even though this happened to me even though I was traumatized even though all of this I stole urine I so would love it and I don’t want to go to a sperm bank I don’t want to have to go to a sperm bank 2 have a baby and everything like that but you know it’s it’s just like I mean I understand I’m at the I’ve gone through such a brutal initiation that I actually understand the women going to the sperm banks I understand the women the lesbians the bushes I understand that I really do I really do if I was not who I am and that was in some other situation maybe I would have stayed you know like a lesbian going to a sperm bank cuz I would have hated to be with a man cuz I would have generalized my situation to all men think of the boxer little bit I think I have a lot of gay men who are who are beautiful and who are obsessed with me and in a good way and I would love to have that proposed to them that they ate for a few nights of fertility out of the month that they be straight for pay and we get them in the mix because you know I’m clipped but but I can see that’s the thing like if we understand the opportunities in the opportunity to create a ritual around around conscious conception it’s not it doesn’t have to be like this this horrible curse of a contracted like oh my God I have to compromise so much just to get my biological clock that’s ticking me off faster and faster for women you know past 25 it’s time to get busy and it’s like I like to see a world where you don’t have to compromise any of your integrity and your sovereignty and leave your power and have your wealth and that you can have the designer motherhood to designer Parenthood within a community of Enlighten people and there’s just like a currency of love affection and sexual gratification that is not found by and nausea Mystic Street marriage contracts which only serve the state thus there’s a documentary called divorce court I think is what it’s called it’s all about it’s literally goes into the racket of how much money the state makes on the revolving door in and out of every marriage the state to accept money and they have ripped it there they read the whole thing so that all will give you these benefits so that you pay us to go into the end of the agreement and pay us to break the agreement we know there’s a 50% divorce rate for first marriage 80% on second marriages and it doesn’t get prettier after that End of Innocence yeah Gene Simmons from Kiss I watched a documentary he did on finance because he’s one of the most successful multi product line branding marketing Geniuses of the whole Remy’s the most enterprising Rock God ever more than any other good people just kill themselves with heroin and booze but he said in the beginning of his talk you said you know what’s the number one cause of divorce can you guys do you know what he said I said the divorce is marriage so number one cause of divorce marriage he was flipping the script just to be like it’s so doomed it’s so fatalistic like why even bubble and he said how shameful it is for society to accept this notion that for example like a young gold-digging wife and I don’t not see if not to say this to put you down but I think the same thing and something happened to Anna Anna Nicole Smith. I think she tried to like hijack the wealth of a super rich aging I think it was like an oil Mogul or something like that, or what his distinguished but basically he died so soon after they married because he was so decrepit when they first met that the courts actually said you know what we’re not going to give you all this money his family like please tell him I said no fucking way so that’s the end then I know there’s a there’s this hope yeah I I I believe that’s heard some I’m cuz I thought I saw a documentary in like the last 24 hours of her life or something and she was like taking all these shots and like oh my God I was just taking shots Lake oh she was it was like I think what it was was that she was representing some machine she was like taking like some kind of fat moderation shots or something like that and they were like causing I think they cause like an abscess and actually got infected and I’m really maybe butchering this so I would say nobody please you know don’t think I’m a massage this cuz I might put these facts but look it up if there’s a pattern that were talking about and this is like we’re getting deeper into these things that people are uncomfortable looking at and it’s like I know about this culture of of young women club club type stripper bartender dancers who strategically positioned themselves near the local football team so that they can be the one who gets knocked up and the baby daddy is Rich and she gets to take that DNA test to the bank and that was you know and like why wouldn’t you I mean if I were an intelligent cunning woman knowing that I lived in the skewed patriarchal situation I could shake it and get you know I pretty much turn a man’s head and like seduce him to impregnate me and I will be poking holes in condoms with pins you know I’m just being right but that’s like I don’t I don’t want to take you know that’s that’s that’s a fear and respect response you know that and there’s reasons why I almost refused to be intimate with a woman alone because I don’t want her to be a story about how I was there was any discrepancy you know in these situations which is a benefit like if we can move towards a paradigm where social sexuality is the norm then there will be no more he said she’s is there will be people who will be adjudicated the truth based on a triple entry Ledger of the truth so to speak like it’s not just what somebody says happened and what another person says that it didn’t happen it will be like we were all there that didn’t happen you know and then you just need to cool out but I think it’s just like you can’t go wrong with like eight handed massages while you’re you know making love I got it I just think that attention and so I respect the women like you were doing Yoni workshops with other women and their I’ve interviewed women have done nude yoga classes and it’s just like something magical happens when people adults in groups get just get naked and then they get raw and then I like while I don’t have to be fighting everyone I don’t feel so defensive and it’s just take some time and that’s what yogurt is good for and breathing and meditation and you get to that point where were you all feel like you’re one organism and you just want to be with you Joseph Pleasure P that octopus of pressure and like these creepy freaky things like the things that you’re talking about in the things that I’ve been through I would drag women they wouldn’t have a word attached to me and I would drag both of us out into the middle of the street to get witnesses can I get a witness funny vine Ivan I was a guy was a come slave yeah and it was like that if you if you only knew how legendary the public meltdown of that relationship was it was just like it was Jerry Springer on steroids and just the deceit getting worse and worse I had to literally run in the middle of the night to the edge of the property line to hope that the neighbors would see me screaming can I get a witness stomach hurts. We have a new pack it’s become slave pact slaves are definitely going to be a matter of like finding the people who are comfortable and have had enough of these traumas and privacy to like question I call it the cult of the couple or I might borrow that from someone else but I heard that term when I said yeah the cult of the couple that’s where all the fuckary happens if they call we were the madness happens in once you start opening up that container you know yes there’s going to be more Dynamics and possibly more drama but the thing is at least the drama will have more bullshit colors in more referees and people to say hope you’re you’re distorting the facts like you’re you know and just nonviolent communication goes a long way but but yeah we work yeah but the word last night I had a milk through it was in the Meltdown and it wasn’t totally of this would be we could melt through I love your neologism let’s melt through all of this bullshit together and I will I will come to the rescue so to speak and be you know a posting up for definitely part parts of my schedule as much as possible in Vegas for a lot of fun and interesting reasons but have no fear and if I if I have to like put some from somebody straight for pay or other straight men in the in the stunt cock rotation then you know you will be at the thought crossed my mind very organically for the first time and I am as natural as they come I mean I don’t I don’t like doing things in an unnatural way let alone comes conceiving a child but I’ve been you know what I mean. That was the essence of why me and my ex broke up was because he led me to believe for many years as you wanted to have a baby with me and you would say things to me like oh that gets my dick hard whenever I was talk about it you would literally say to me that gets my dick hard he was really just trying to deepen my pussy go deeper in my pussy open up my trust in him more and be more submissive to him and I’ll never leave him cuz I think he’s thought that I was just going to leave him to have a baby with someone else cuz our relationship was so it messed with the time you didn’t want me to leave and so I thought about it very organically for the first time it just crossed my mind and I am so not the type to go to a damn sperm bank I mean the way that a man the way that it would it would degenerate I would think like the moment you ejaculate the sperm start Sox’s oxidizing it starts to generate so it’s not even worth it even though I’m sure they have practices to fight against that and conserving but I’m sorry if anyone you know as an advocate and come on the show and talk about it but I think it’s really disturbing myself to like I want to have a baby like I want to I want to raise a child that I want to I would even adopt you know and so I burned anything literally I was able maybe I can just get find someone who went to the sperm bank and have a relationship with that like I was trying to really think about it I was like what do I do you know what I mean and I’m not even the tight then so I can’t imagine other women who have been in similar situations where you know I can’t imagine yeah I’ve will have actually helped the former lover of mine who was absolutely heartbroken that I got a vasectomy right around the time that we are falling in love and she said she would do anything to reverse it and she wanted so badly and I was honest and I said look you know I have like a II my jeans are like spoiled and polluted and ruined by some evil demonic hierarchy From Another Dimension and I’ve seen that so deep in shamanic ceremonies that I just know that it is my absolute duty to no longer perpetuate this DNA on Earth and like a monk’s make one that’s a huge that’s a spiritual thing to own you know I mean I’ve seen on iOS away that demons crawl on the family DNA bloodline the way like a spider web time alone you know so this intergenerational trauma is no joke and I see it as like the way that we humans are capable in our worst states of perversity towards nature we’re capable of really abusing plants and animals by domestic getting them in a way that really makes them unsuitable in the wild like we went over domesticate them and we make them weak and susceptible to pests and disease and we have to be their caretakers Ever After because of that that’s like sort of the double-edged sword of domestication while we are also as human beings being domesticated by entities from the Demonic realm and that’s why schizophrenia is rapid that’s why you have these degenerative disorders and all these things are basically the handiwork of entities that are farming us from the astral plane beyond our perception and put if you take a third eye opening psychedelic then you will see what is stowing away in your chakras and you might discover that like oh yeah this like pattern of sexual abuse in a family is actually a burrowing creature that has nested within one generation to the next and they for all we know they’re like hyperparasite they’re basically a hyperspatial parasite and so you know I know that there’s things like attached to my soul that I need to purge in this lifetime ritually through the Tantra and basically not let them have another generation you know I would not let them have that low-hanging fruit like they already cracked and hacked the DNA of my bloodline when I asked my mother about like hay like what have you not told me about a lot of things you don’t she’s like yeah basically everyone our family has problems you know I think my mother was abused as I think that it’s like well I’m about to shine a light on all this bullshit and part of it is like being responsible so if I were you I mean I say we go on a world tour of the humblest most Serene indigenous villager populations of people who have been making Ayahuasca for thousands of years and look in their eyes and you see the purity of their soul and if they would do you the favor of allowing a fresh Soul strain to be repopulated you your room then we might have a chance but like you know I’ve listen to Catholic Exorcist who I take very seriously because it’s busy as loony as they might be you know they have some some perspective on the truth and one of them this guy Brother Carlos who has that got demons website I just absolutely love him because he’s like the Chris Farley Exorcist she’s like totally like an over-the-top like slapstick comedian ridiculous but but he takes very seriously and when you say something like that all humans have demons except for Jesus Christ because he was the Immaculate Conception in other than that I don’t know you said Adam and Eve and Jesus Christ were the only humans who don’t have demons because we inherit demons from our ancestors and from our parents not to mention any said demons enter freeways one inherited through your bloodline to you did something evil and you invited them into an evil act that contract with them or should I get something negligent and naive and ignorant a man and One locking himself out and raping his own and being possessed though he may not feel like he his Free Will was involved then his negligence allowed for entities from the Demonic realm to possess him and therefore intend to him and it’s not going to be it’s not going to be easy to do that removal work and so if you’re an exorcist you an exterminator and you know how these things function and you know how they brew and you have to do is squeeze the last of them with all of your all your might you know in the mighty name of the Lord Jesus Christ I cast you into the abyss that’s what he could have like a million times a day and I don’t know if it works but I will tell you what like some deep territory what it looks like to have conscious conception and to protect that contain of the Egyptians they knew about this that thing how to ritualize the protection of the womb space population and the intention for conception because that is a you’re bleeding and in this week coming in shark-infested loans Interstate know when we’re getting it on that’s why they afraid of masturbation they do know that when when you raise that arousal energy hitting the dinner bell to all of those dark horses how do you how do you invite the Holy Spirit accompany me to the bedroom and you can have that love and go up that is a whole nother conversation for another episode that really that’s the essence of what why I’m here doing any of this it’s like we have got to get really honest about abuse abuse that happened and only we’re going to do is to talk about it come together and support each other and really compensate for each other’s weaknesses and and like not exploit each other’s weaknesses but actually like really authentic Lee don’t like meet you with your needs where you’re at if your young woman if you’re an old woman you know if you were a email frigid if you have vaginismus if you remember so many things that affect the womb so many things affect women in like the last thing you need is like some guy to come in and manipulate you and trample you and caress you and leave you like worse off than he found you and like back after thinking you took a step forward you know that’s why we got a break so can you hear me by the way then yeah I can still hear you I think you know I’m sorry that was a long rat what I have to do and I love it I love it I just I think that’s the connection breaking because I actually left my home but but like I heard what you’re saying it and it is really appropriate for what we’re talking about later because the connection is breaking up and I think it is because I left yeah that’s that’s cool I think we’re well beyond the healthy stopping point and it was there a stretch but I think it was worth putting especially if anybody who is like your enemy now because of what you’re doing I would love for this if it’s fucking a let’s all talk about all those kids so thank you very much we need we need to make another conversation about this because the humans are was ruining everything indeed yes indeed by yeah that’s a nice to finger and so is there anything that you would you like to have the editorial if you want to hear this you can just double-check know do you want to have that final Eden Prairie reviews The Shocker right if you want we can do that I will not understand until you hear my edit am I you can okay cool alright then well then it’ll be a couple who love you too. Take care of this going to be out in a couple days thank you thank you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to see me and if you want to podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple after bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Archer Park. Com Damas de
In this episode I share a piece I wrote that serves as a sort of guerrilla psychedelic research white paper. It is the most direct and concise articulation of my thesis:
Click here to download the pdf
This episode is a post-ceremony recap with Angelica, the shamanic nurse at my top in the Sexorcism the Tantric Opera documentary. We sequentially discuss the behind the scenes and compare notes on what we experienced internally and externally from beginning to end.
We also discuss the implications for sexology, sexual healing, and criminal justice as this experimental research continues to rock the boat of orthodox everything.
Please go to https://tantrapunk.com/sexorcism/ to watch the film
AI Generated Transcription:
(Want to help with corrections? Please contact me to learn about rewards for your efforts!)
Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast episode number 97 in this episode I’m doing a recap from the sexorcism the tantric Opera the documentary with Angelica one of the shamanic nurses who you see in the film and then I’m also going to include the audio from the 5 minutes trailer for the documentary so if you haven’t gone over to Tantra Punk. Com sexorcism to see the film it’s free to watch online so please go ahead and do that and hopefully this episode will will get you excited for that again please as with anything I put out there’s a implicit trigger warning but I will double emphasize it because we’re talking about some of the the most extreme forms of abuse and violation that were taking a stand and rising up as shamanic Sexual Healing Wounded Warriors to make a difference in the world so if if it all you feel squeamish about going any further this would be the time to stop because obviously is going to get into some dramatic material but it’s also very empowering Inglorious to see the work unfold and evolve so please enjoy namaste Contra secret spot Sexual Healing work and the different modalities of psychedelic Shamanism not bringing sacred sacraments and the invocation of the divine feminine and use of psychedelic trance music which has the adrenal lising effect and a shamanic journeying Sonic driving affect this is kind of like Ghostbusters needs the Playboy channel is cirrhotic ghostbusting There’s real tangible medically measurable physiological effects of Tantra psychedelic sexual exorcism just calling for me I feel as very authentic because I am a survivor and because I absolutely had to walk this path out of absolute necessity your nervous system is always waiting for that moment when am I going to be held by the tribe when is the tribe going to do my soul retrieval when is everyone going to circle up and shout down these possessing spirits that are making me slit my wrists or you know cut myself or have an eating disorder or be a sexual predator or whatever it is all of the deformations of character and personality disorders and neuroses they’re all intrusions that would have been quickly and easily dealt with by a shamanic culture but because we’re lacking that we have to kind of hack it together. without inviting my parents I’ll just say it was a latchkey kid because we live in a patriarchy and it was a broken home and my mother was doing her best to put food on the table and provide for us but so much was lacking for me it was very attractive to find drugs in tribal Street culture my friends and Drug buddy initiators Brothers you know we shared needles saying you know Three Musketeers if we ain’t one of us gets AIDS we’re all going to share it so we all go down together they were the same ones that put me up to prostitution and said come on man we’re doing it you got to pull your weight around here I was 13 to be crippled in this way as a survivor in really negatively affects your ability to function it’s PTSD its shell shocked it’s flashbacks has you know everything is a trigger smells site sounds colors a person who is in the middle who is the receiver of the healing there hopefully being held in a manner that haven’t been held in since infancy really so there’s a level of returning to that total surrender to Total vulnerability where you can feel safe enough to go into the places that your psyche has kept you from for however many decades the medical and psychotherapeutic Sciences are missing is the shamanic and psychedelic epistemological perspective the hippies have been laughed at and marginalized and made fun of by the straight Square people child rape is not a laughing matter and adult rape is not a laughing matter to exaltation of the Priestess class that we are attempting to email beautify through song and dance and ritual and now all these beautiful festivals and Devotion to the Divine it’s not just a bunch of hippies you know being freaks how do you know this is a matter of life and death I didn’t expect to make it this far in life my sense of being all here Consolidated and purified and present my intactness can’t wait to figure out a way to really measure the before and after of how much more energetic Integrity do you have after this kind of privilege I feel like Heather will be a time when when I’m free ultimate leave totally free and get to start living my life the way most people take for granted Angelica what the fuck was going on in there from your perspective well give me like a okay so how about just the same thing we did last time which is like that so I’m curious cuz I was running around getting prepped and then and then and then I asked you and you decided you were going to go all the way here I can go all the way and play a starring role and I was so stoked I don’t think I’ve ever I don’t think I’ve ever been more excited more not excited but you know when spinal tap got back together that was the feeling I had like you reconciliation and you know because you were you had really been having second thoughts and feeling doubtful and I wanted to validate that and under that and not for sure push you or pressure or anything but by some miracle we could change your mind and it was like if I could have one fucking wish in this lifetime I think I would have spent it to have that happen but I swear I wasn’t using any black cat Magic tactics in mind what made me change my mind beautiful I had told you on the phone like yeah I’ll just be there cuz I already told I already gave you my word and so but I think the sentiments of the other females here and like realizing that my concerns were were also their concerns and I think we’re just socialized into I mean even pornography I think the way that we’ve been like I mean even that’s been stigmatized you know to like I know like it’s something that’s taboo and so the fact that this was going to be recorded and I identity and all this kind of like it’s a lot to ask and yeah but then I realized knows like what do I have to lose and then just being here and and wanting to like step up to the plate and hold space in the in a new way or maybe you’re in a deeper way than what I had before and is one for it I think despite you know my gut feelings of the beginning of things kind of changed and the incubator that we created with some yeah I just it was it was nice and even I mean we all kind of just like showed up not knowing what was going to happen like what it that even looks like in the filmmaker didn’t even know how the set was going to look like so we kind of all is just did our part and put it all together and it came out really amazing and magical you know not knowing what’s next but just going with it and it just Aegis blossoms in is amazing I’m really curious what what stands are for you is for is the timeline of I mean oh oh probably ask you you know for a little bit and clarification what not but just if you were to go ahead and tell the story from starting from when you decided that you were going to be involved and then it became a lot of a lot of just technical stuff like just okay. You to head this is like being on set this is like any other production just lighting and positioning in rehearsal and props and running through things and trying to yeah I mean people will have seen the the edited footage so isn’t there’s not much behind the scenes that’s that exciting I guess just whatever comes to mind I think for me it was like just insecurities that I was projecting you know like what am I going to look like a camera or like is my face, show am I doing this right blah blah blah but then like once you’re there is just like at some point I think we’ve been like took our masks but um yeah I arrive and you know we have we have our meal and we’re just talking and getting to know each other. the other people involved and 12 setting up I think I took a nap waiting around and I don’t know I think even even the timeline was because we did not stick to the timeline of what it is that was going to happen in the ceremony but it was beautiful I mean we started off as usual you know with intention and prayer and just like a group huddle of like what was the explicit was to be expected and I mean once to take the medicine the medicine is basically with takes over and and Collies called in and everything else is just the richest following a going with it and so the way that played out with no we have the opening prayer chanting and locations of are guides in the Mighty Beanz and opening up the portal and there downloading or starting to starting to feel like spensive and then I mean this time I was I was at the at the head and holding space and being the archetype of the mother do you want to back up to the where we were it was kind of like a I was kind of doing like a a drumming a bit and we’re curious to for me the dancing thing was was that was my first and Most Blessed opportunity and in life so far less far to be trusted with two female dakini yogini dancers trusting my grace in my my sort of thumb are we were all have we were headed that way this is this is the thing this is the thing that that I hope is clear and conveyed is that sexual politics and relationship Dynamics and personality in Eagle all these things were ostensibly taking her shoes off and I’m leaving them and hanging up or jackets and you know sort of showing up as pure energetic Essence with an intention to create a maximum healing synergistic effect that doesn’t involve negative mind chatter and one-upmanship and politics and and all that stuff so in order for this really surrender and have into feel trusted my anxiety was was like well leading up to let’s say was say oh I really hope they both feel and know and trust not just been but Kali enough to be guiding been fully to the point where if he moves Us in whatever ways you know he sees fit and he is like in quotes because who is he now it is he just himself as is you know or is he now a conduit a vessel of this invoked Shakti Kali wisdom I mean so for you two to be willing to boldly go into this dance where I had taken my tracks and in this is my opportunity to create some sort of some sort of symmetry of movement you know a sacred geometrical compounding of dimensionality with the whole nother circuit system circuitry and interface the three of us in a way that manifest a hyperdimensional potential for this the track to be played out in the Shakti the flow and always think so that was you both surrendered to be my Canvas OR the canvas of this dancing Artistry and I am dying to know what your thought process was going to be forced to do the moonwalk or something I’m going to have to do the written Rodger rabbit nervous about I think also I mean along with like already knowing okay this is a commitment and like already taken the medicine so the spaceship is taken off. No other choice I think it’s part of the process of like trusting you know just like I have a deep respect for you and and I trust you and so I’m like trusting the process and and yeah I also like trusting the goddess and so I also felt the way she came pretty much into all of us into all of our beings as vessels and so it’s kind of like became this like braids or this it wasn’t a choreograph it was just you know I was feeling out energy and it has a different kind of getting felt up energy and and how do I also just because we’ve already we’ve we’ve practiced this before so you know there was a deeper level of trust and like the first time but I guess it’s always nerve-wracking but letting go I think it’s another lesson there and yeah did you ever again for me to it was I had to think did the how do I be absolutely equal in my worshipful where worshiping devotion I’ve got a quote for me I had to cook a what how am I going to not leave anyone in the cold did you feel like I did a good job of balancing the attention and not leaving anyone else I feeling like a third wheel in the dancing fisa it was in life it was it was not about me you know what I mean so I didn’t have that like attention like you know and even when that was diverges like I’m in spirit so I’m dancing with spirit I am still part of it but not you know they’re not then I go in word and I’m like my own dancing partner has his my partner but it’s not like this isn’t about me or is this isn’t about me feeling like victimized and left until now not not at all like me and her coming together was actually really beautiful to Healing session that needed to be I kind of a kind of anticipated that I felt like there was going to be vicarious but that’s the whole point is that condition I knew I was going to get the cherry on top at the end so I wasn’t worried about no I was cool because I felt like we were me and her were able to do the sort of EMT shamanic you know paramedic deal for you you know just to some of the work it wasn’t as just kind of like some fine-tuning to be done before that’s what I’m most excited to see the footage of is like what that look like and how cuz you could really see there’s some other higher-dimensional intelligence that’s really putting all these Advanced Aikido moves in this sequence that where everything is just so much so much electrical engineering of the flow of energy in a so anyway yeah that’s cool we’re all going to be moved in different ways you know it says downloading either a different like downloading a different either I mean it’s the same entities the same the same Spirit in the same intention except because we’re all different than people you know we’re going to going to be different and so it was really beautiful to see and witness Missy her her downloads you know one end the way that she was moving even away from like the timeline that we had written you know and and and you know I wasn’t supposed to be a patient in this you know until like that Divergence was was unforeseen but it was within the flow of the tracks and it actually work the way that you know there are built up and even as far as timing goes and the rhythm of the next is kind of like graduating or your life the gradual deepening of the next stage in the next process in the next Tuesday for healing so I was really not expecting to be so completely hammered by that dosage I was fucked up and I could barely stand and barely speak and the lights were so bright and so obnoxious to me I mean it wasn’t it wasn’t I shouldn’t say obnoxious it was just it was just it was intense the lighting and I am in in it I’ve never I’ve had beautiful experiences in the daylight like looking at the sun through my eyelids and seeing beautiful cathedral sort of refractions and stained glass kind of beautiful so it’s it’s not like light and mushrooms don’t mix because it can be super beautiful during the day in the forest to the sun shining right on you and you just bathing in that for some reason though with all these bright Film Production artificial lights he was just I felt like I was in the Netherworld limbo some some like a like a space-age airlock or something it just felt I couldn’t really see and feel the texture of the Goddess the way I normally do it felt more like it was inside of a gas inside of a light bulb and all of the mystical things that I normally able to see with my third eye I could barely see anything even with my eyes closed it was it took away a lot of the visual Dimension which was kind of kind of from what’s the word on just disorienting and I wasn’t used to have it so but by the time we get to the Kali provocation fairly I’m feeling which was the most the most deep rich chocolate intense powerful thing we I felt like I was most curious to see how how we were all going to respond to mutually being in that track together and it’s and it’s and I often feel like like a collapsed to my knees were just faceplant to the goddess and I’ve just surrender all my ego all my power I mean things that don’t even think about in my college-age students like you want to be very very careful about this because it’s within it’s the state of California guidelines as it’s within 3 years if you are 17 and under but that don’t that starts at like 12 so you know like between an 8 year old and 11 year old or 12 year old knots that’s not going to hold like that’s not going to be acceptable and have to start with the age of 12 and going up you can’t backtrack it so if the person younger than 12 it’s still really really illegal and and not going to work in your favor but 12 and up their kind of looking okay so if you’re 12 in the person you’re interested in is a little bit older than maybe but you need to be careful with that and I think the big problem comes in is when we have people around the cussed so you have somebody’s 15 16 17 to date someone and then they turn 18 you know the other partner turns 18 and now what so now you’re not supposed to be in this relationship any longer and now all of a sudden you cannot consent to this relationship I don’t know I feel like there’s a I understand the laws and I understand the reasons for it I think it’s great to protect people but I also think we don’t give teens credit for being actual sexual persons who could make choices for themselves yeah I was certainly with a lot of older women when I was under 18 so that would have I would have been upset and sad if anyone tried to step in and on that but it’s gendered announcer complicated certainly you I don’t know I guess in my area would have been that just as a rule of thumb male sexual energy was just kind of demonised is being Territorial. And now it’s headed lesbian couple it’s a female identified female body young women who were yeah it’s a different just tell me a different Dynamic so who knows where it’ll lead at this point but at least the center for positive sexuality is here to have these conversations and do you have do you have do you want to talk about a bit about what your your passion is as an educator in the professor like what are you do you have any research that you’re doing your Department’s or you kind of thumb yeah like kind of locking into a specific topics that interest you amongst all these things I mean most of my work still centers around sexuality and I usually teach introductory an advanced human sexuality courses I also teach other classes so I teach mainly in sociology departments so you know I teach about society and culture and people but I really like teaching about deviance and we research on deviance and identity and and all that kind of stuff so a lot of my research is about BDSM is about sex work is about feminist pornography is a kinds of fun stuff I’m presenting at a conference next month on a paper that came out about a year ago and the Journal of sex medicine my colleagues and I did a study on looking at BDSM as a Leisure activity so if we can say fine it’s not pathology let’s stop talking about it that way so okay then what is it and we thought well maybe it’s fits Leisure and if we look at leisure as not just a Pastime but as something that you identify with something that makes you feel whole makes you feel fulfilled is something that you choose to do then then I think it can fit into that category so that’s one of the big one of the big research projects I worked on very recently that’s awesome you have to make it makes me think that if I were to have to explain anthropologically or take that sort of the view of being an alien trying to understand what people are doing her I would kind of say well when when kids are pre-pubescent they make believe and they create epic worlds of Adventure and fantasy role-play and then when people come of age you become adults and they realize that they have these new toys that develop then they want to use them and actually be imaginative and creative in and use their whole potential of their erogenous imagination and their new toys and then they can actually play freely with each other where you know when when kids are playing playing games that you would consider to be somewhat violent and nature they don’t usually actually harm or kill each other you know so it’s not that hard it’s not that great of a leap of logic right to imagine that adults would reaxis some of that imaginary fun making instincts or hate American culture as we really look down on Leisure we would look down on play and we look down on make-believe and so we decide that’s just for children and it’s not for grown ups and I think that that’s a really horrible horrible perspectives of the world cuz you’re only a child for a very very brief point of your life and you’re an adult for a really really long part of your life and wouldn’t I don’t want to stop playing. Why would you want to grow up ever and so yeah I think of BDSM I think erotic play I feel like yeah it’s just this extension of your creativity and artistic and Tristan and your means of expressing yourself and now you get to have sex so why wouldn’t you add that and everything else thank you for helping to frame it that way cuz that it’s it’s so it’s easier to digest when you when I just have never heard that what that phrase before but it just erotic play being obviously it means that you could incorporate more than just your one monogamous married partner that’s just still only allowed that culturally they by the mainstream the idea of being sexually playful with a group of people in the community of people as a social activity like a cocktail party or a mixer or I mean why can’t you believe make break into play make-believe you know the okay fine I just I’m this is my partner this is the only person I’m going to have sex with her I’m going to be in love with or however you’re defining that but I can pretend for the next hour or two that there’s someone I’ve never met before or that there a superhero or that a magical being or whatever and that can really shift your erotic interest in your erotic pleasure I think you probably would be able to say that it will make a lot of relationships last longer and be more Pap more healthier happier for sustainable resilient cuz you’re not getting bored and giving up and going you know stoic that’s great so do you have a key tell it tell me more about the center and how it how it runs and functions is it kind of like a drop-in center or do you have only certain events at certain times or how does the facility time work out we don’t actually have a physical location most of it exists inside my laptop and out of and that means we don’t have to pay for rent so that’s why we go to where we need to go so you know we have regular meetings happen in my house or one of the other board members houses we do have some events here and there are a lot of our fundraisers or just online to make it easier to reach as many people as possible and of course we’re trying to reach a broader audience than just Los Angeles so we Skype workshops we Skype things we’ve talked to classes in New York and classes in Idaho and you know all over the place so you know we do a lot of different things we also have an academic Journal that you’re positive sexuality it’s free it’s open access anyone is welcome to use it and read it and submit work to it and you know that’s been going we’re now in our third year of publication of that and that is hitting a worldwide audience some of the countries that are accessing this are it’s all over in Australia and in Belgium and in various parts of the UK and it’s hitting parts of Asia Japan so it’s really really great so we have a very wide reach and what we do we have approximately 50 to 60 volunteers who work with us we also have an internship program so we get college students who want internship credits or what the work experience and so they volunteer for a specific. Of time and work on specific projects for us at different times of the year we get most of our interns during the summer but we get interns year-round and we have in our volunteers so we have Educators we have people who are research Affiliates and who published research and use the center is one of their professional affiliations we have research assistants who helped them we do you work with events so we do some Outreach events I think on Wednesday we’re going to UCLA sextravaganza which is been happening for several years on UCLA’s campus that we usually set up a booth are we do that with other things around town we’ve also have members some of our volunteers go to conferences all over the world and represent us at different places and in different areas where they were very popular in Melbourne just found out from a friend who’s been living in Australia for past couple years so I can’t I guess we’ll have to go there at some point cool it’s a new cloud-based model it’s elegant and overhead in the neighborhood drama and that there’s a lot of reasons to transcend that six location and you can if you can be a mobile you know unit then you can just take your your your laptop and projector and some you know what your handouts or whatever you have in this b a and again because true using Skype and using other types of internet programs you know we can get into a classroom you know that might not be able to bring us there physically but we can still do it will set it up on our end and and just stream live stream wherever we need to be and and it’s very helpful to cuz we so we have volunteers I think are farthest away volunteer that we’ve had so far was in Trinidad so we can have volunteers from anywhere in the world who can work with us medication programs and so they help us Creator update or education resources in our reference materials and putting together things to help teachers facilitate this in their classes they might actually be one of our Educators we train people to go out to those classes and to give presentations to places we have research assistants to make come in with a certain amount of background knowledge and how to do academic research and some come in just wanted to learn it and so we trained them and they work with people who are doing research in various aspects of positive sexuality and so some of them get to co-author papers and some of them get to work on the ground floor of research happening and get to really get into what that is and have a voice and have an influence in what’s being done in the academic world and this is course then starts to affect policy when we’re putting scientific research in front of people and saying here this is what the says that’s not the correct or let them besides these aspects and that can be very very helpful we work with other organizations so and CSF the National Coalition for sexual freedom is one of our sort of co-working his nation’s the community academic Consortium for research on alternative sexualities we work with them as well yeah I’m getting chills yeah I’m getting chills cuz this is a lot more than I bargained for and actually seeking a lot of what you’re describing and to have yeah we hope we have a good bit of time last time feeling compelled to ask you a little bit about I guess hey if you’re into taboos right blowing them there is all I ever believed starting this week there’s going to be the biggest psychedelic science conference in the history of humanity happening in the Bay Area it’s put together by that multidisciplinary Association for psychedelic studies and the there’s a lot of really important cutting-edge legal for the first time in decades studies happening all over the world with psilocybin you know I gave magic mushrooms and MDMA and Ayahuasca and marijuana and peyote and I will gain a number of other synthetic and natural organic you could say psychedelic compounds in a lot of it is at this point in this stage of the Renaissance of research it’s really about proving the safety the relative safety of different compounds getting the dosage to be sort of understood better at also having some really important clinical trials around ending ending addiction to harmful drugs ending cigarette addiction end-of-life anxiety sexual abuse and Trauma and PTSD from War veterans there’s all these different the demographics that are starting to have really groundbreaking results and they’re doing you know they’re putting in the millions of dollars to do the the research for all this and so I bring that up just to say that this is an interesting juncture for me because the a cultural cliche about sex drugs and rock and roll and you know the way that the culture of inebrians is starting to move a large part due to Raves and festivals it’s moving more towards entheogens than just Coke and heroin and meth and booze there’s more opportunities for people who are coming into their sexuality to have access to psychedelic experiences and so there’s the new Alchemy of innocent in these Generations between sex drugs and rock and roll and if it’s it’s it’s it’s a lot more sophisticated and advanced and and and just more diverse in many ways than it was in the 60s when it was you know Acid Rock and LSD and other birth of the the hippie movement in the 60s but I’m wondering if you have in your position they’re come across any any any people who are interested in in rigorous academic study of what this new sex and drugs and rock and roll Paradigm it is shaping up to become if there’s anyone interested in that that you know of he’s been there are definitely people who are starting who are doing research on these topics and very often the connection that ends up happening in the academic research is you know if we’re looking at the sex drugs and rock and roll that of course is going to look at the outcomes and too often I think the the outcome that gets stressed is okay so what’s the what’s the public health issue so is it possible or is it likely that people are might be transmitting STIs because they might be under the influence of something or maybe they can’t we do we have to worry about consent if someone is under the influence of something that then means that they cannot now consent to what happens at that point so what happens if everybody who’s involved have done that so where does that line get drawn so I think a lot of the issues that have come up in recent research has been either on public health topics around STI transmission or on consent topics recognizing that at least by law if someone is inebriated for example they can now no longer consent to sexual activity okay so what happens if everybody involved. That’s so interesting yet that’s exactly what I’ve been actually encountering and in just by life experiences it’s there’s there’s a lot of people now who were you can say you were having expanded Consciousness through empty agentic use meaning it’s kind of a nice way of saying psychedelic no drugs but but that’s an important consideration because just because you feel like you’re enlightened than that one with God doesn’t mean that you’re immune from being the perpetrator with that Enlightenment that you don’t think you have a potential for abuse and even if it’s not that sort of shady you know where that sort of Insidious there’s also just the issue you’re not in your body if you’re having an out-of-body ecstatic psychedelic experience how how do you get even if you can send it to the idea of something earlier in the evening that has to be held through somehow and if you lose the if you become somebody else or part of your higher self or whatever it could be theirs that’s some chicky territory for sure yeah so that’s I guess there’s you know that I’ve seen like at electronic dance music events you can call him Rave but that’s kind of more you know probably more accurate term these days cuz there’s within that whole world there’s different camps and it’s more no more more bride to just called electronic dance music these days but you know there is there’s sort of harm reduction education Outreach groups that put out one sheet kind of look like glass CD mailer cards you know about business matters and they have kind of a profile of what the different substances how did how to test and make sure that they’re real or are what you’re getting it like that there’s that whole harm reduction education Outreach approach that is kind of like what you’re talking about but it’s for the party scene in just for best and better practices around that but I could see that they’re being a sum interest group of people where they would want to see things the way you’re talking about it cuz I actually no way you’re framing it it it feels like there’s a lot more due diligence for people that want to be credible and respectable and using best practices to actually think with some of these analytical tools so I’m hoping you’ll be great if there was some overlap or or or Synergy with all this stuff I think more and more what is happening as we’re seeing the people who are actually involved in all of these different spaces you know the people were actually doing whatever it is we’re talking about having more influence on the research that’s being conducted so that it creates a more authentic overall experience and I think it adds a level of legitimacy to the research so rather than a researcher sort of from on high saying well I’m going to study this group and I think what they’re doing may not be safe and so we know the perspective that I’m going to come about with this is that well this is already inherently unsafe and now I’m going to show you why it’s in safe and I think more and more we have researchers who are in these communities who are in these faces or doing all of these things and you say you know maybe we need to do is talk to the people who were actually doing this and not talk to them with a preconceived notion of what’s going on or what they’re experiencing or what may be happening but go in just as a hey could give us some information to tell us about what’s happening and I think we’re seeing more of that so there has been research on for example like barebacking and there’s been research on sex workers experiences and there’s been research on sort of the the spiritual some of the spiritual Connections in the spiritual extremes that can be experienced through extreme SM activities light hookah coals and those kinds of things so we’re seeing more and more of that happening where people who are actually in these groups are part of the subcultures are also crossovers into the academic life and we’re just seeing an amazing amount of research that starting to Bubble to the surface and get a little bit of space. I think this research has been getting done for quite a while but it can be really hard to get it published because some of the academic Publishers don’t want to hear about it and I want you to my is any of these things so if they publish something on it they want to be really careful so with our journal and with some of the other journals out there we’ve been able to bridge. Cap and actually be able to show some I feel like more authentic stories well absolutely will now in this world have so many The Gatekeepers being dissolved by the power of the internet I feel like you know there’s a lot of bad journalism or untrained journalism so there’s got to be a lot of bad or untrained or Incredible or uncredible research but maybe it’s the methodology that can be what’s the word sort of feel like I could imagine what as you were speaking I was imagining will wouldn’t it be great to train the you know that like the anthropological participation observation ethnography kind of model but if you were to train if you were coming from that subculture and you wanted to sort of document your tribe and produce your own ethnography kind of amongst your friends kind of tabulate experiences and collect notes insured compare notes is there was you recommend any kind of Crash Course doing data collection for different types of research paper I’m doing ethnography in the field and sort of how that works and how you can sort of pull everything together there’s a really good little guidebooks you know a quick online search for for some of these guys are out there and ask her if she is amazing stuff I love doing a photography by the way I think it’s an incredible tool that doesn’t get use nearly enough and and it got a lot of researchers a colleague of mine she recently did a photographic ethnographic working with lgbtq Foster Youth and homeless Youth and kind of went out gave them all cameras and said take photographs of Your World of your life of who you are, and they did a whole art show you know like found a gallery in Downtown LA and just played everyone’s photographs and and you know really got people connected to them and seeing them as people who have life experiences and they’re not just sort of a category of disadvantaged kids so yeah I think there’s there’s an easy guide books out there just like a quick you can find some quick little things of how to do ethnography and how to do that and but I think a lot of that to starts with her own storytelling so things that you do and things that others do and and all the bloggers out there and everything of these are all forms of ethnography relay yeah that’s cool it’s just that it’s exciting and hopeful cuz I feel that I’m at a point where I’m doing kind of pseudo-scientific Rogue radical research that’s way too far out for any government agency or any academic institution to touch with a ten-foot pole so it’s it’s kind of on me and my colleagues and friends 2 do this sort of underground research but then hope that it it’s done in a way that it can be respectable or it can be legitimated later you know but it is probably good to do what you’re suggesting and actually have some some templates for collecting the data that mean okay here’s what would our experiment yielded and here’s the methodology in the procedure and you can test it on your own Hardy or lab or whatever replicate what you’ve done and so can you give enough information that would allow somebody else to replicate and get similar results in their own place or find totally different results which is also fascinating injured and interesting and yeah and I think that’s really I mean that’s science that is science Sciences pushing boundaries and science is you now let’s try a new thing and see what happens and science is telling a new story or New Perspective of a story and you know I think that that’s been lost over the past many years Society The Sciences inquiry science is asking questions and wondering why thing happens and how something happens and trying to figure that out and I think that we’ve sort of collectively as a larger society have sort of lost that Focus write the word crowdsourced crowd-source funding crowdsourced ideas and editing and an art I mean you were talking about that at that photo gallery exhibit and that’s a great example if you would call that a crowd-sourced ethnographic oh yeah photojournalism nice oh yeah that’s cool that’s that’s exciting time so I’m also wondering now do you have do you do you or your organization the Center provide any kind of consulting services or any kind of where you could be hired or you could be sort of commissioned to do research or to consult on Research I don’t know that we’re I don’t know that anybody is really hired to do research cuz wouldn’t it be fantastic if someone will pay for that but that doesn’t happen if we do get hired as consultants for a variety of things so either individuals within the organization or the collective organization May consult on certain projects or consult on like creative curriculum for a particular thing and we have individuals who are consulted on court cases and I’m legal issues so so there’s a lot of that we also get hired by professionals like to teach professional workshops on various topics so that happens as well because we’re a nonprofit although those things are often we you know ask for fee cuz usually the people who were asking for these services are people who can pay for it but what going out to the schools we’re going to colleges in touch or we have a student group asked us to come and do something with them or like what you know we go to somebody’s community of answer something we may ask for an honorarium but we’re going to do this stuff for free so we really depend on our donors and our contributors and the people who support us to kind of give us the funding that we need in order to do what we want to do and and to publishing and all the other stuff so our journals available for free most of our Outreach staff and education program is all for free so yeah a lot of what we do depends on donations as opposed to people actually hiring us officially to do something right on that sounds like a healthy well-rounded multi Revenue stream nonprofit you’re definitely fulfilling your mission in so many beautiful dimensions and I’m just really happy to know that we’ve connected to some really feel better about living in the world with you more offline 2 just to explore some of these Consulting opportunities that you have and see what we’re about and all of that stuff were completely volunteer so none of us are paid for what we do I don’t run a paycheck nobody wants a paycheck that’s completely volunteer and yeah we’re just we’re just trying to let you know we just try to bring it enough funds to keep going and to keep doing what we’re doing and to expand so we’re actually going to be expanding our face-to-face education program out to Chicago over the next few months so Craig can you do that that’s well thank you so much that’s great I feel like it’s it’s really refreshing to to hear that there are people out there who are so dedicated to the cause that it’s that you did not just going to slam the door in your face if you don’t write a check if you know the first five minutes if you’re not going to bill me for this podcast interview right now about an hour into it is do you have a sort of committee or task force or team or just even a person who is either because they are a trauma Survivor or because it’s just near and dear to their hearts whatever reason is there you do consent workshops in self-defense or rape and assault prevention and any any more of the or any any of the sort of preventative and treatment kind of education unpreparedness we do have programs around consent we don’t really specifically talk about self defense or or right prevention in the standard sense so we don’t really talk about here’s what you can do to prevent being raped we talked about here’s what you can do to not rape someone because really this is not on the victim this is on the perpetrator but we also talked about you know here’s other ways that you might think about your sexual self and your identity in the power dynamics that you may interact with and find consensual outlets for some of your interests and behaviors and the citiz and you know we talked about a wide range of those things so it would be great if the people who are doing the Rape Crisis counseling and who are just in the trenches of dealing with battered women and in and going in and and doing you know investigations to catch meant to prosecute the perpetrators of all ages if they were I would let it would be great if in it you know in a perfect world they were seeking you all to educate themselves on better prevention and better version or diversion from the criminal whole that the response like they’re coming as the First Responders two incidents that would have been prevented by a proper education on all sides right and we do have we do have information so some of our researchers and and because we have people who are social workers who have conducted research through us who have published on how to do how to have a sex positive approach to handling victims how to have a sex positive approach to handling offenders and that these approaches can really help reduce crime can reduce negative stigma can reduce it comes cool is that would that be on your website or at some if I if I can follow up with you later cool okay well alright I feel like it’s this is yes. A real blessing and I just want to thank you again for your time and generous sharing of great info so with that said do you want to give the website and any other maybe upcoming events or anything else you’d like to promote and the website is positive sexuality. Org journal and that’s Journal of positive sexuality. Org we have our anniversary party coming up this July so if you want to be invited and want to be a part of that anniversary party will be a fundraiser you can contact me at Emily Emily at positive sexuality. Org or you can go to our website and put in your email address and then you’re on our newsletter list and you’ll get information through our newsletter about our party and we’re hoping we’re putting together an academic conference for next year so look on our website check things out if you go to sex pause khan.com so s e x p o s c o n. Com there’s going to be updated information they’re probably starting in the next couple of weeks for our positive sexuality conference coming up in 2018 in Burbank all right that’s very exciting thank you again yeah that’s me alright thank you so much again and I will hopefully I’ll be in touch soon thank you for listening to the touch of Time Podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition of sustaining and improving the podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite sex if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been at kontrapunkt. Com Thomas gay
In this episode I’m joined by two dear and brave souls who participated in an epic experimental ceremony involving psychedelic goddess worship and tantric sexual shamanism. The three of us implemented a procedural design I had been developing over the course of several years. This was truly the peak experience of my lifetime thus far.
AI Generated Transcription:
(Want to help with corrections? Please contact me to learn about rewards for your efforts!)
Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast episode number 72 I’m here with Cynthia and Rose and we’re going to be doing a sort of recap on an experimental shamanic healing ceremony where we invoked the goddess Kali to help do the heavy lifting on some serious demon ectomy and soul retrieval work and using a combination of magic mushrooms and psychedelic trance dance music and tantric sacred spot massage amongst many other things so for me it was very powerful and in important in the the evolution of trying to combine these modalities and feeling very kind of alone and out in the wilderness with this but having this experience share it was such a blessing and I feel like the best way to document it is to just allow the participants Cynthia and Rose to first Elder story of what the experience and then I’ll kind of give some of the background in my perspective and will end with some three-way discussion to try to fill in some of the gaps so without further Ado again thank you for listening and Cynthia if you be so kind please share with us your perspective on what you experienced as the the receiver of the feeling work wow okay so thank you been for or the invitation and for the The Human Experience so this is something that I’ve been called to to participate in and being a victim of sexual abuse and having done the work on my own I think I’ve reached a certain level of kind of I would say I can’t just like my my level of like appealing that I’ve said I’ve made and but I still felt like there was something that was still stored inside my body and that that has manifested itself in like behavior and lifestyle and thought patterns and basically stories that have better still playing out because of that energy that has has been stored in my body and I met Ben and instantly it was it was just okay let’s let’s do this work we need to do this this type of work needs to be done and so I’ve been waiting patiently and finally we were able to get together and create the ceiling and so he said we invited Rose to be part of our container and Rose and I have our have been part of a Kim constellation that’s very similar and we wanted to see who I also wanted to see the element of the the mail and how how we can move forward with this type of feeling the sexual healing in a safe in the Safeway and you know their intentions were very clear and very set boundaries were set and I felt very safe and so I was very nervous and you know so been input on these instructional videos and we took the medicine and I started playing the Kali mantras and that’s when the invocation started happening and I think it all just happens naturally I don’t know how to describe it but does the medicine kicks in you also start feeling the presence of the Goddess Kali and just there’s like a blur I think between my my being and just her taking over a kind of like this protective force and so we start doing the dancing and the medicine starts kicking in and it was actually very what’s an it didn’t happen in an instant but it was very fast the way that we were able to enter that space and through the dancing I was just able to to let go and release and I think that’s what allowed kind of the the purging to happen it physically felt like this energetic being that was external to me that was foreign you know it like it was just circulating and gyrating and I think it was through that activation of the Kundalini that that through the dance and that was easily facilitated like just just happened it just coming out through sound through that roaring and growling and it just that breath that Kali breath I think is what kind of help and there was no instruction for this it just was something that just happened and end with free-flowing and yeah the second time I think it would just it was just coming out through this energy energetic sound through my mouth and Rose was holding space allowing for that to come out and end encouraging me to just you know keep releasing and so the second time the energy just kept coming out kept blowing out and it was through this like gagging and he’s like I don’t know whether worldly sounds coming through my mouth and to the point where I eventually threw it up and got well and it was definitely an entity or or just all that stuff that was stored and from there we proceeded to the Triad and that’s when the Yoni massage began and that’s why I just like higher levels of the of I would say Consciousness through the medicine we’re beginning to take warm in like kind of encapsulating me again in this life protective protecting like ladies and that’s where the soul-retrieval started happening and it wasn’t even at some point it wasn’t even me healing it was my mother and my grandmother and like all of the people that came before as Azan the sacred Yoni massage with was happening and it was very beautiful I felt very safe and I was seeing sacred geometry patterns and I was seeing nebulas and just all these beautiful things that were holding space for me as I was going through this healing trolley it was a traumatic it was remembering all that trauma that has that has been stored not only in my body but also in this Earth so as I kept mentioning like this healing I feel isn’t isn’t about me it’s about healing the trauma that all of us women and not just women but also men and children have gone through with this Invasion invasion of our of our body and invasion of our souls in this like parasitic and I feel like I felt like this this is the work that needed to be done I needed to experience this feeling in order to move on to the next step and help to facilitate and so is very transformational I felt very safe I was in a safe place and I was trusting of this process and I know I was just amazing I felt like my natural authentic self again afterwards just removing and downloading removing obstacles and removing all of these blocks while at the same times Outlet in Easley downloading what are the next steps if it was like Kali was was letting us know like okay be prepared for the call how are you going to be prepared for the call and it was this everything kind of the conversation that we had afterward was like a gate opening of okay with what do we need to do next you know what comes after this healing how do we we arm ourselves against these forces that exist and so I’m still processing that I’m still downloading and now it’s it’s really just take time to take action and and this is a type of healing that that I feel is very necessary for pretty much Humanity right now and where we are in this this intense times calls for an intense healing as this in a sweeping of of all of our Spirits in our souls and the sweeping of the earth and a protecting and a very urgent just felt the urgent call to are myself spiritually and what came after I think enduring I mean there was so many visions of animalistic like felines sacredness of rage and like and it really did feel like we were being armed spiritually and like we had that spiritual strength to face these these negative and dark Forces that that exist within us and just a question is for me is is where do these things where do these energies come from and are they stored in is it natural that they’re there you know and so the medicine definitely helped to to go into these lower levels but in the Innocence acting Warriors and work are you Warrior citizen yeah I don’t know if do you have any questions were absolutely totally Exquisite that Bridges the entire planet cuz anyone anywhere in the world could have would have been able to say that and just you know wouldn’t have to be a Hindu traditionalist even had no imprint what service is so Primal so yeah so that was absolutely fabulous perfect and so if we’re all now pack on I say I’m going to I’m going to withhold my commentary and just let Rose know if whatever you want to say in response to Cynthia’s testimony of Deliverance and then go into your your Narrative of your perspective and I will I will then take my turn last so with that said I guess I do my play-by-play then we’ll start with your questions and it will just kind of have a free Freestyle Jam so Rose if you’re yeah if you’re ready please go ahead with your follow-up comments questions and then your hair do thank you I got the invitation from her working with a Collie breath you know breathwork meditation and and so I feel like it’s funny because I feel like I kind of magnetized this goddess and this this work to me because of that and I’m so when she asked me if I would be willing to be a part of this healing ceremony with her it just it came and it was an instant yes I can instant full-body yes and because of you know what I had been working at in my my own spiritual practice and days before and so when we arrived at your place I felt very States and I and even before that I just got the sense is great sense of Circus Circus perfect alignment in and what we were all going to take part in and prior to 2 are you both of you ingesting medicine I really said that intention in myself to be fully present for whatever unfolds and to just be the the keeper of all of them of the energetic boundaries and that the safety of the container that we were going to step together and so I felt this great Judy the start of Judy and me that was being awakened and when I noticed Cynthia starting to have have assertive a different experience with the with the medicine I was able to call upon the sword of motherly nurturing archetype within me and it just felt so natural to be there for her and to help help her along in those in the first couple of minutes and then also with the dancing I felt very I felt like I was dancing with her to remind her to help help help whatever wanted to come through to move along and it’s like it was just eight latest like in my cells or what what I needed to do is just couldn’t be explained much like how Cynthia said if I couldn’t have foretold everything that I that I did but what came alive in me where was this very nurturing and Duty oriented and loving nurturing mother when we all sat down together in the Triad eye I’ve been I’m familiar with this sort of work and so my my background I feel like prepared me a lot or for what what we were doing and when you gave her the Johnny massage and we’re doing other young and massage I was able to see the waves of energy that were being released from her body and it was really enjoyable for me to help her or remind her to sing and sound everything out because I felt like that was a really big piece and release and releasing what needed to come through and at one point I felt like I saw like I saw her grandmother and her mother and there is like these waves like this there’s is cave that I saw and I felt like what you were doing with the massage was like rubbing the cave of her Yoni and with Dinosaurs all that trauma and I didn’t I felt lightness coming from her as it was as it was as she was releasing I felt an influx of light also go into her and so that was really beautiful to witness and it was really touching for me to witness what the Alchemy between man and woman is lacking that sort of setting I think that was really healing for me to see you to see you know my brothers and sisters healing each other helping each other because like Cynthia said this is exactly what we need in on this earth right now this is the sort of healing and it was so inspiring to me as it was going on that that you know we were able to work together and and be the midwives for that healing and I kind of felt like let it like the god goddess embodied and so I felt like the goddess was embodied through me and the God and it archetype was invited you ban and it felt like we were healing our child together and it was it was really touching for me to see that I think that was one of the major takeaways today but I came away from with from our time together and similarly I experience a sense of like urgency like Cynthia described of like okay what’s next with you know what are we how are we how is this how are you taking next level once we step out of here I feel so excited and I really enjoyed the conversation that we had afterwards it felt like we’re all allies in each other’s journey and it really felt like us and I felt a sense of camaraderie and like I felt very I feel very proud because I know that the work that we did is very crucial and it’s very needed and so I just felt very and a sense of satisfaction in knowing that that the Earth is receiving this healing by us setting the space and taking the time to do this together and so yeah that was a little bit about my experience and I don’t have any questions immediately but maybe they’ll come up as we talked but that’s that’s me that’s where I am beautiful and exquisite in thank you so much I’m just so I’m going to go ahead and do my narrative now so and I’m going to try to make it quick so we have plenty of time for the discussion portion so this is going to be so hard for me cuz I’m so I’m so I want to bring people up to speed and really I realized the only way for people for anybody to really grasp the the amount of of effort and time and love and attention that made this moment possible they would actually have to listen to over 70 hours worth of all of the previous podcast which have been leading up to this Crown Jewel of an experience so I’m going to do my best just to really stay focused and just give a very clinical almost like shamanic police report of just the just the facts and there’s going to be a lot of technical terminology there’s going to be a lot of presumptive you know language used as I do that and I just have to say that I’m so open to questions and follow up and anyone who who really you know wants to get the full background please listen to the previous episodes and there are some some episodes that are very much you mean you could listen to just like a handful and pretty much get most of what matters so so with that said I’m going to I’m going to start so she remembered my tattoo from our gardening together years back and approached me on the Dance Floor during a Morningside DJ set we talked for a while and caught up on life been discovered we both evolved into Warriors of the light after an energy healing exchange we vowed to keep our connection sustained at our first friendly Garden date we discovered our mutual Faith to liberate our souls from the trauma of child rape experimental research Partners we became on a mission to discover affordable means to overcome our pain after many months passed the time was right to begin the Hands On Healing path I had learned full well by then working alone was dangerous and I never want to do it again I knew it would take a minimum of three to operate ethically and procedurally I asked if she bring a trusted and supportive friend one who could hold sacred healing space and be willing to work her skin for the first time the circuit could be made complete a polarity of Shiva Shakti love from head to feet her friend Rose was so much more than a shamanic nurse her singing voice alone could dissolve even the worst kind of curse after an orientation phone but it came over for what would become a Hurst Oracle evening we begin with t and Casual talk I prepared the medicine for the journey on which we’d soon Embark I picked fresh garden herbs and made the chocolate confection pouring into the mix lots of love and affection waiting for the sun to go down I set up the speakers and tested the sound after placing offerings on the altar they sat together on the bed our prayers and intentions were ceremoniously said I began a series of short educational films to introduce you the dark goddess by whom we’d all be healed first through mythical stories been a temple exorcisms documented Glory then you 1,000 name spoken in Cruiser ritual form during which your invocation could be filled gently coming on by the air Dodge Journey will begin Durga Mantra played to invite the warrior goddess energy deep under our skin erotic energetic boundaries working sensed best would begin the tundra Punk said first the devotional hymn of praise then the prayer to earn your loving healing Grace as it began I reached for her hand Drew her near to passionately sing into her ear I clutched her with warmth and strength drop to my knees in worship while rocking her waist slowly gliding up her front dancing her into my heart as our feet stopped now that she felt infinitely loved and safe it was time for the demon ekta me to take place I stepped around embracing from behind strapping her into an astro roller coaster ride I will be her Kundalini activation guide in what would appear to be a shamanic heimlich maneuver from the outside rolling her up like a toothpaste tube pressure applied in till nests were broken loose after peristaltic waves of bees to Aurora’s she dry purged would serve no more Roseville and medicated was thoroughly possessed you entered her and taught her how to clean up the mess a thrashing devourment until nothing was left with your Superior force of nature the offending creatures were met Nowhere to Run nowhere to hide in her commandeer jaws and Claws they all died ending the dance with your purification prayer we had successfully raided the top level demon Lair now it was time to storm their Subterranean Den she fell into my poised firm grip I gently carried her down to the bed her sweat dripping skin and hot deep breath indicated she’d survived the worst of it now the pleasurable releases would begin we can work love into the caverns over chakra system consent for the forehand full body massage acquired my lingam clothes and disciplined to withhold its desired the gentle Devi Mantra track filled the air as I drew down her pants and underwear but delighted teenager in my mind others along turn off fuck my mature tantric adult knows not to get lost and being awestruck I never want to be desensitized to the moment of be holding a Yoni for the first time but therapeutic sexual shop and dance is a fine line selfless giving that’s less carnal and more Divine this is not about her and me it’s about the chakra surgery the love that heals is from up on high I’m just a conduit for Shiva Shakti to align the performance of Miracles and exorcisms at any good Christian would respect if only group sexual ritual had been persecuted as ultimate sin as her top is still fully worked and played I apply coconut oil upon her pelvis and legs one by one I plant her feet on my heart eyes closed I see you I’m folding like a birthing star magnificence like never before he on Sue would take to fully explore a high-pressure orgasmic exhalation I release by your beauty I am enraptured liberated yet besieged I am now again fully possessed by your dark warm and In the Flesh you come into and through me to rescue the wounded soul of my dear friend you press my heart firmly upon her gates to heaven you raucous in a stormy Rhythm you take hold of the muscles in my arms and embrace her torso in the mudra like forms as if unraveling a demonic web convulsive earthquakes crack open the shells of their under your thirst for their blood makes for a ravenous series of fudd’s pounding her again and again your hunger will soon be fed as she screams and cries while letting go sleep positioner gracefully to optimize the flow again I close my eyes to see you’ve been developed all of us though to the naked eye your unseen through years of Revelation you’ve given me visual access to see the Carnage as demons attempt to flee your ferociousness like white blood cells digesting and dissolving tumors and cysts you give us the love and power to finally resist spiritual combat not unlike a cow it’s your fight As Above So Below when seen in the life of the third eye if medical researchers could see what I saw with their eyes someone would win a Nobel Prize The Germ Theory Revolution will have a new chapter sexual abuse will be quarantined by the CDC and FEMA as an unnatural disaster the shadow biosphere is Allegiant with these pests to you they must all be fed to eradicate them and lay this Public Health crisis to wrist you’ve given me the strength to raid without fear these disease places where many healers would never dare New Age euphemisms come to mind clearing blocked energies to be recycled by the Divine with permission I slowly enter Her Sacred Space with two fingers then press my left palm against her clitoral Regent like an organic vibrator all of my muscles diligently serve stroking her G-spot with fingers of curved my breath is at first strong and growth but soon I feel the Marshall Vibe is done enough I begin edjoin in harmony with rose who has been sweetly singing chance of own her voice teasing apart octaves and notes like light through a prism a deeper truth is told roses simulated choir sonically transmutes the astral detritus sanitizing the muck gushed out from each chakra Orphus she appeared to be playing a transdimensional harp between the planes her medical magic was a gorgeous work of art there was an innocent in my eyes as I glanced I was not shocked to arouse to see her proud bare chest within my soul just a resounding yes more points of contact to electrically connect enter fry the demons with synchronized only breaths a contract Opera to say the least I knew this must repeat week after week the burnt temples have been such a loss this ritual healing magic would have been open to the public and nearly free of cost we opened a portal to the ancient Priestess past where such an initiation would have been routine on a spiritual path but according to sex Goldberg religious Michael a new wave rules at night like this breaks too many taboos get deep inside we knew the ceremony to be our true home we could spend eternity in the ecstatic Shakti love after about an hour of deep chakra tissue work it came to a close with a bit of Mirth cries melted into laughter as she climbed onto my lap we express their true love and words as she wrapped her legs around my back I Rose in love with her Sweet Soul no need to negotiate relationship rules our journey as colleagues still has a long way to go with maturity and sovereignty will let the most righteous path on fold this technology must be returned to the Priestess class that was so violently burn I vowed to give back all of my power I will teach and work in a charitable Manor the Have Nots have been excluded far too long none of us can afford months of healing in the Amazon I’m a back alley sexorcist relying on volunteer paramedics thank you. God is for showing me the way I’ve Allen pray to you may I never be led astray so many Exquisite moment to savor in these memories I could marinate forever the most unforgettable of them all if I had to choose would be looking up to see three different colored hands on her room I thought to myself now that’s an album cover sorry to all the jealous lovers friends don’t let friends be denied the group Healing Touch that’s needed to recover from being so hellishly fucked an army of sexual Angels is now being built together were shedding all of the shame and guilt will not be preyed upon by rapists ever again nor and abusive relationships be trap made victims Cynthia I know you had questions and you know we’ve all heard each other’s accounts so I’ll be great to let me know okay well I just want to start off by saying like the intention I mean there’s many there’s many sexual Awakening workshops going on right now and then there is a tremendous like sexual Awakening and I see things in a circular sense of like the sexual Awakening bringing us into are open to City feed but the thing about that makes this type of healing different is that the goal is not to orgasm the goal is not to become sexually satisfy the gold that is only like that is the pleasure part is only the let’s see the opening of The Gates you know that is what’s actually going to facilitate the space and then once you’re enter it it’s a whole other thing because honestly most of the time I didn’t even feel the Yoni massage I mean I did feel it and it was amazing and it was very erotic and but I think that’s what takes that’s like the ship that really does launch you to these other dimensions and these other spaces where were able to take to heal and so I just wanted to start off with that that she’s definitely is not is not about old let me see if I could squirt let me see if I can come it’s it’s more it’s beyond that and that’s just what I wanted this to set out the clear intention of that and like you you mentioned in in your narrative this is just scratching the surface I immediately felt that afterwards it’s like okay there’s like so much more to this you could just forever be healing in this way and so I’m very excited to I’d like this is my dream and my goal I’ve always known that I wanted to help sexual assault survivors and and yeah this is definitely work that needs to be done and I’m so grateful that my prayers have been answered you know I’m being able to work as band and Rose was just very beautiful and I’m excited to just embark on this journey the beginning so I like you said this isn’t like there’s so many people to be liberated like no this is what I want and I’m smiling right now because this is what brings me joy is to be in utter like unconditional love for someone and like breaking down those barriers and like I like though I was struggling through through things were Cynthia would come in and say okay I will I want this to stop like I want to get up and go to the restroom work and they will fit this higher higher self speaking saying no like go through it now we got to go through it go through work through it works work through that ego and yes even in the beginning I felt like I felt water resistance from Bend but definitely a screening and a feeling out and like testing out the waters to see of like I was I was okay to be to partake in this in this ceremony and I’m grateful for that too and but the medicine really does help to remove all those obstacles all that ego all of that insecurity that comes with being seen through through a male perspective or through that mail lens and still hearing the recap of all of this all of these things are coming out and I feel like it’s also part of the healing process and being able to like analyzing and see everything that all of the components all of those little components in like where my mind was trying to get self in the way and then just being able to just release an old Alsip want while I’m there was a point where my mind said well what do I do how do I give how do I give and it’s like no you’re here to receive just relax and received you know and just ride trying to just go for the ride but yeah that’s my Yreka that’s awesome Rose you have thoughts you want to share it as far as I was hearing during the excitement in your voice since you really is really touching because and also hearing Benz account of like the depth in the layers of of of what it is taken to get to this point I I didn’t realize that this you know that it wasn’t always this way for you that you hadn’t worked like this before and so it just felt completely natural and it felt you know really familiar to me familiar territory and like and the start of healing and so I feel like something Ancient Ancient was awakened like an ancient knowing and yeah I feel I really feel aligned with continuing this sort of work and when you was talking about training people I was like oh my God like a my ears perked up was like oh my God like oh be amazing to you know to continue this work and then just the idea of other other people and other women doing this for themselves or for each other and it’s just like so touching to me thank you yeah a couple of things some Cynthia I remember when we were talking afterwards in and I wish I had that same sentiment about where people are going with the sexual sort of like merit badges of squirting and multiple orgasms most definite psych and that is a wonderful visit wonderful, I’m a part of that movement in that that whole world and it’s like I’m it gets so much more expensive when you’re doing this multi lifetime generational intergenerational you know ancestral lineage healing work in this big container that’s just the lobby is the genitals you know the real Temple is so much for deeper in in until I feel you on that and then the thing that you said you were saying about squirting and stuff I remember I was like you know everyone’s distal squirting meme has become so popular now and it’s just like thing to be going for it and I unpin it just came to me it’s like if you have miles or or or another person’s pelvis or some other full friction body part going against the the urethral opening it’s not going to be perceived as a squirt it’s just going to choose and it’s in that you were like yeah I was like poking an orange and it’s going to squirt why don’t you put your face on there or your palm on there and I use my left palm and I I I sort of have this this like combo positioning where my my home my whole left arm and palm is like massaging the entire clitoral region within the clit really it expands out to look like a giant stingray and it’s massive and it’s like the whole region is erogenous so I’ve got the left hand Palm I’m holding the whole pubic Mound region with my left arm and making circles and pressing and and massaging in and then with my thumb and index finger on my right hand or sorry my my ring and Pinky are are connecting with my thumb on my right hand and my index and my middle finger are inserted into the only for the G-Spot massage so there’s this like supported effort and there’s just constant pressure on the whole area so anyway that’s the sound of the exclamation of things but yeah it’s just like so beyond getting off or satisfaction sexually once you go to that deeper level so you said you had questions for me it looks like recapping on the flow of things and then even hearing you talk about the track that you played and just I’m timing of it’s really amazing and then also hearing you explain about your tracks and and I mean mind you that’s like in the background that’s like the last thing I mean I’m not focusing on the music it’s just part of the Ambiance creating that that space But the flow are flow how we how we actually moved with the music and like what you said it would stop and then begin another phase so you have a skeleton kind of like a a protocol I would say to two-year to feelings and listening to your previous podcast I was able to identify with a lot of the things that to Fiona was talking about that she was experiencing these things and so my question is do you look for sign I mean is it something that obviously every ceremony has its unique energy to it because of the person people have bald and the type of primer ball then obviously everyone has a different energetic frequency and their own input into the ceremony but the similarities hearing the similarities and then hearing you what how the way you describe your Visions with collie with the Kali goddess can you elaborate or did you know I mean you’ve had you’ve done these ceremonies before so is there he steps in these protocols that you see as the ceremony goes on that kind of guy if you to the next movement or I’m not too sure for doing that some homework affect getting some background and in and seeing the continuities and I was listening to it again myself the one right the science of collie and location where I kind of did this recap of a year-and-a-half worth of different stages of development very staggered and very disc jointed stages of development between me and Sophia I know where we both sort of been like the you know the I guess I don’t want to say chosen ones but maybe there’s a thing called maybe shamanic election like we both were sort of put together to develop this in different ways and between her being in India and at times being engaged and us not having having a sort of sometimes sensual and erotic subtext and sometimes maternal you know configuration it’s been this very diverse path of of sort of a piece of meal process of one sort of rapturous mystical experience happening and then months of silence and disconnection and then a wave of inspiration causing me to produce a track and then getting her to put vocals on it from halfway across the world and then having that steer a whole new unfoldment it’s been an adventure and so the choreography of this what’s now becoming that would say that this what we just achieved was my ideal complete cycle you know which which had not been completed with all of the pieces together at once either it happened without the medicine or it happened without the third person present or for whatever reason all all of these three of them are all of these multiple elements were not fully there but they’ve all just been part of the master Sega permaculture design is like you know where the where the compost is going to be eventually and as you know where the these plan things are going to happen you have Flags down on the landscape and they might be there for years to tell you can get you know what you need to put it all together but the bastard plan is there so I’m the did it to answer a question more more specifically about the track the bumper sticker of this whole you know procedural cycle is that what what I was advised or intuited through telepathically through Kali is this narrative feed me or demons feed me or curses those are the appetizers the main course is your orgasm and come the music is basically the pathway to achieve that full cycle for her benefit it’s like a it’s like a you know it’s like the exact sequence of adrenalized trance music to get the Kundalini moving and then once that first level of exposure are those first few layers of expulsion or complete then you get to go into the more Chill Zone and you know it’s kind of like you know like the way that they organize a psytrance party it’s like you start with it the sort of Primal minimal techno e stuff and then it gets into the more full on and then you get into the night side and then you go to the morning Sai and it’s kind of like a whole choreography of thumb of that so does that answer your question I guess so but it was so free-flowing and I think just I wanted used I’m going to use the word like symptoms but kind of these like stopping point of like all of the things that are seen like even asked okay so once we’re laying down and we started with the Triad I definitely felt Rose and I being prepared and and and shielded and and and kind of like in battle like preparing to to confront humans then and you just seem like you’re slowing flowing like a it just incredible the way it like this kind of finding out what kind of the the back roads of all of this and like just the synchronicity is really beautiful because like I said this isn’t you wouldn’t really say we’re going to do this I mean you kind of held the safe space and and you let you let us know what was going to happen but all of the visuals and all of the the downloading and all of that information in the end the invoking of the collie like she I just a very specific similarities I think to listening to the other podcast you know I don’t know it’s just really beautiful yeah if it was to me very much I mean if if if I would have liked I guess pre-scripted it I kind of wanted it to be a safe container with some with enough background in an enough sort of like this is the worst that can happen like if we don’t have somebody spotting you at the top of your spine you might have you might Bang Your Head on the ground so someone’s got to be there to hold you and to be aware of what’s happening on your upper half cuz I’m going to be on your lower half so there’s those things that we’re kind of laid out of like okay you can have spasms you could be foaming at the mouth you could be purging you could be doing all the things in those are things that you would you know any ceremony that you sign up for is going to have a waiver form saying you know do you have but yeah what you’re talking about and what I had the premonitions of is that if you come together in the name of Khali and you appease her in such a way that she is going to bless you with the ceiling then if you trust and you have faith in you surrender and you give her as much power as she’s capable of of having and knowing that she is a trustworthy deity she’s not going to abuse you or take advantage of you or manipulate you or hurt you or although we know that she can turn your life upside down you know the next day you may be repelled by your sexual partner because you can now call he’s inside of you and call he’s not going to be fucked by some Demon asshole you know what I mean people don’t really believe in possession they don’t believe that demons are real they don’t believe possession states are real and they certainly don’t believe that you could be possessed by a higher-dimensional beneficial benevolent loving goddess creature that could kill you and disinfect you from lifetimes and generations of demonic infestation that’s not allowed you cannot believe that stuff or you will go to jail or you will be burned and that was just the most natural thing like Everett like you said and Everett to sake wow do you know what when I said this at the end you know where it’s like what we just did was we broke every taboo of the Christian church yet it was the most Christian thing that you could ever do perform successful effective exorcism extract decontaminate was alleged to have done and that’s why he was so called a rockstar in that time because you brought what most people would say now is a Indian indigenous to the so-called holy land and was able to really turn a lot of heads with that modality and it’s been perverted and crushed and made into a charcoal form of propagating demons and it’s like what is it there were told we can’t do by patriarchal Christianity you can’t have any form of homosexual nudity holy matrimony think a married male and female couple they can never be seen by anybody else no one else can ever be in the room no one else could ever facilitate any other forms of supportive loving touch your massage cuz that would be homosexuality and it would be adultery and you certainly cannot revoke any form of other deity cuz that’s idolatry Union I certainly cannot use any sort of mind-altering substance or consciousness-expanding substance so like everything that we employed to achieve the quintessential mission of Christianity has been banned by Christianity as an institution which is the worst crime against the soul of sexual shamanic healing and the true Universal medical technology of exorcism which is not you know Jesus is not the only savior deliverance from demonic possession is not only can only be done or is it only possible through holy water and crosses and Priests they have closed sourced and if there needs to be antitrust laws against the way they have taken away the power to perform exorcisms from other traditions and so I said to me I could go on forever but do you do have thoughts about that I was just talking about this with my partner the other day about how the suppression of our sexuality by institutions eyeglass religion I feel like it’s been one of the biggest reasons why there is like so much dependency on external sort to tell us what to do and to you know basically give us rules for us to live by and I feel like the reclaiming of our sexual sexuality in our sexual Forest is a really big piece and reclaiming our sovereignty as awesome as Sovereign souls and so I think that’s that actually the correlates a lot to what you were talking about and I think that I think this this work is like next level stuff I feel like you know this is like the Sovereign Soul work in in creating the leaders that that that the world needs right now hey women say that big partner just recently said that to me a couple of days ago so that is playing anarcho-punk anti-christian neo-pagan you know psychedelic psychonaut whatever and then I have been so resistant to Christianity for so many years but then it dawned on me eventually was like What if you could actually lead Christianity out of its own darkness and redeliver it to Itself by bringing homosexuality psychedelic shamanism tantric sexual healing and what else basically become a canary it’s like if I if you could expose the the heinous crimes against the human soul that are happening in churches where they don’t allow anything like this to ever occur to me they need to have you know they got Sunday school for kids that’s great how about Saturday night classes for psychedelic Sexual Healing ritual for adults and children will be kept safe from the priest because everybody you know doing their work and cleaning house so you know until every church becomes a psychedelic goddess worshiping Sexual Healing Temple my work here will not be done in order to work at work of any good you know true follower of the Christ movement they they’re their work is not done I got to go Inward and the people like the punks that have been you know so anti-religion are going to I think you know actually hack and revolutionized it from within somehow so it’s it is my Enterprise evolve doing it on the inside I’m so I mentioned to you that I have roots in the punk scene as well but it still continues and in this you know this work for sure this virtual work and she just wants to bring more Consciousness and more natural medicine to it because the booze is not really taking us where we need to go with that energy so is that for sure I believe this is like the highest form of activism in all senses like activism against religion and even politics and even like class what you mentioned earlier like this type of healing is accessible to people that have the means for it I mean it seems it’s Tina something like secondary like oh well I have I have my lifestyle covered now I can begin you know the secondary ceiling which is like a sexuality while in reality that should be people’s main focus and my goal has always been okay I’m learning these new things through the New Age movement quote on quote and it’s like how do we bring this to the communities that really need it so that we’re not preaching to the choir you know the how how do we like spread this like have you said you know that I have and have nots because it’s it does go down so we can talk about so many things revolving this subject like this is this should be Public Access you know yeah yeah that’s what I’ve been trying to do is build these Brazilian networks of people across the the the the class Spectrum so that you know I will call it you know the giving back I mean any you know how many yoga studios are giving back through non-profit programs or even just donating a percentage of profits to something to that vet that honors the lineage and how many times your providers are giving back and how many you know people who do whatever ceremonies they do having how the endangered peyote buttons the endangered Ayahuasca Vine luckily mushrooms are so happy to just consider if we did mycelium networks will consume all of the stick frame houses that we’ve erected over the past several hundred years there’s no limit to the abundance of a fungus like it’s the right medicine I believe in the spirit of sustainability to be really bringing those these modalities together with them some reason about like hey what were what if what if the iOS Caro Shaman start experimenting with mushrooms and equal rows and seeing if the spirits will happily come through the psilocybin pathway into the Container so that we can give her a break and yeah there’s just so many social justice Ethics in class politics with all this stuff and I feel like I am going to be one of the Robin Hood’s hackers pirates that you know is able to walk Between Worlds and help help bring more philanthropic opportunities to the people who are making Bookoo bucks doing this stuff and also bring the clinical social workers in two conferences where they can get brochures about this stuff and bring it back to their you know city council and be like hey can we do this facilitate legal space for clinical goddess clinics you know if we can’t do the goddess temples then we’re going to do the goddess clinics in Government funding in hmos like yeah where you sexually abused okay your healthcare provider has got to give you access to free sexual shamanic psychedelic healing and here is how we get some being legalized by there if you know Maps is is part of that a big the biggest part of that the multidisciplinary association for psychedelic studies think we’re going to see eye-to-eye on everything course but they’re doing the work to prove for example that you know so it’s typing is not deadly it’s not like a poisonous deadly fungus that you know you’re going to die if you eat too much of within reason so it’s all coming together and the faster the better as far as I’m concerned this is a good time cuz now you know psilocybin is being really it’s becoming a real Rockstar it’s it’s it’s you know it’s surpassing LSD and MDMA and marijuana because the psychotherapeutic studies that are happening clinical trials that are proving that it can cure depression or you know these are kind of marketing terms that they would use but you know how people stop smoking helping with end-of-life anxiety for terminal cancer patients all these things are making really big headline news now that the next level is and they open a gateway to hell and heaven and you better have your you know astral allies ready because they’re everything that science has denied for hundreds of years is coming all hell’s breaking loose and it’s like Ghostbusters and we’re going to have to come to Jesus on what’s really out there and see all these cracks and you know that’s something that they’re not ready for but this is why what we’re doing and the way that we are articulating this and trying to preserve the essence and authenticity authenticity of the true art form in the true ancient unregulated unbridled Primal wild feminine beauty of sexual shamanic psychedelic healing there the preciousness of that Integrity trying to find a way to language some of that into clinical you know standardized dosages into you’re putting all that into a pill and administering it you know at a hospital that’s where this gets all very tricky but it’s sort of our duty I think to have the best integrity and the best note taking and eventually there will be you know the help that I need and that we need in that all survivors need to know put down the video game console controller and stop watching porn and get serious about protecting children from what’s really coming into this Dimension like never before and it’s coming through video games porn music pop culture I really feel like with if if what we achieved if I could take this recording and play it for you know the right people at the United Nations they would say been you know here’s a security Force you’re going to be treated by like the secret service is going to protect you while you educate and inform the Center for Disease Control about how and why the entire internet needs to be shut down until you can create a valve that effectively limits access of these extreme forms of pornography and you know that’s the X-Files that’s like Fox Mulder trying to like get people to listen to you know the truth is out there the truth is in here it’s right between our legs and we need to be dissected you know we need to dissect these Predators Weenies and I respect the victims and we need to know what we’re dealing with you know so I appreciate the work that that that is unfolding and they have to sign off very soon I it was such a pleasure to be on this call with both of you I’m feeling the medicine of of the of the work that we did like you know losing often to my day right now so I feel really blessed up by that right now yeah I just want to I want to thank Rose boots for holding it down you’re so Fierce thank you are the reason I feel that it’s so amazing and you know I really do hope that you know we can continue to train and and to arm ourselves for this battle together I feel like we are good team you know if you have just another couple minutes to share this something we didn’t address which was the Exquisite vocal range that you have and some of the intentional frequencies that you’re creating which were just making this light through a prism you were like separating Melodies and harmonies and I was so blown away so can you Google got that this is something that not you know that I got to have your help training other people cuz if you’re the only person in the world who can do that we’re in trouble we need more of you well yeah thank you thank you for that I’m definitely not the person who totaled I can do it but I’m really interested in sharing my knowledge with people and I process so some of like I mentioned to you that night I am really fascinated with voice and sound healing and you know Style singing and what comes through for me is are you just frequencies that are are attuned to what energy the person in a session need so like in my energy healing work I do like what I call like shamanic Reiki so it’s kind of like moving energy but in the astral plane rather than just physically and in those sessions what comes through is a language that I know it’s light language and tones and singing comes through and so that was what was coming through in this ceremony session that we had and I did a bit of overtone singing and which is R22 note tone that is produced by by the voice and it’s just a manipulation of the of the air coming in and out of the mouth and it gives the impression of having two to three people singing when it’s just one person and which is like why you you said Oh I thought that it was there’s like three people in the room singing better is like this just us and so what’s unfolding for me is going and going more into to sound and and sound healing and helping others open up their throats similar similarly to the way that mine has opened up and so it’s just a pleasure to share with with everyone it’s just my highest joy and so that was what was coming through for me then yes that was so amazing and it’s like if you don’t believe that angels exist you just got to have that experience I really hope that you are going to be recording some albums and I hope that we can jam to musically and create some sort of soundtracks cuz yeah I would love to I would love for that to happen and I will be actually hey next steps and feeling where do we go from here at my prescription for us is that we just trust that we sent out some major shock waves and that you know the support is needed for this to be an evolving and open source technology that can really into the integrated and can be adapted to any culture and language any place where people are ready to rise up against the rules of Christian of Christian sexuality as it is now I mean the end so bye having done what we’ve done I’m going to continue to be holding space and evolving and developing and in whatever comes our way will be you know supporting each other spiritually and through Communications and whenever possible I’m sure you know eventually there will be a line wrapped around the earth to have people get in on specifically this some revolutionary combination of elements and and the more people can be trained and facilitated is the less burden areas and less liability and the less you know mileage is put on any one person in the less of I do not want to be ever put on a pedestal I want to be stood upon that’s it for me I’m I’m super satisfied I just want to marinate forever okay thank you so much for having me on this and I’m still reaping the benefits from from all of that I’m marinating to all right but we’ll be in touch soon see if you have any last words for us before we take the go infinitely grateful to the goddess for presenting yourself and end to the universe and the Creator for just 16 credibly powerful and the medicine that we all hold it’s so beautiful and fine art and our are just desire to just be a better world it’s amazing thank you I love you guys love you too love you all love you too thank you Cynthia and thank you again for having them to call have a wonderful day www.hunterfan.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple viper bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Archer Park. Com Damas de
I’m joined again by M.F.P. we provide an audio lab report on our psychedelic sexual exorcism experiments. The combination of pranic healing, tantric sexual healing, Goddess Kali invocation, and sacred mushrooms has been yielding significant medically measurable findings. Please be warned, there is disturbing and triggering content in this episode.
In this episode I discuss the process of illuminating the shadow using the F— Yeah Frequency with Jonathan Talat Phillips. We share some of our neo-shamanic and psychonautic adventures while planting memetic love seeds for the future of sexydelia.
Please read his bio below and contact him for world class shamanic personal training!
Jonathan Talat Phillips
A well-regarded Bioenergetic healer and professional psychonaut (explorer of consciousness), Talat has been helping clients ride big quantum waves for over a decade. His memoir, “The Electric Jesus: The Healing Journey of a Contemporary Gnostic,” has become one of the must-read books of the new consciousness movement for its honest portrayal of life on the emerging edge of transformational culture. He co-founded the popular web-magazine Reality Sandwich and the Evolver Network’s 50 regional groups. He is the creator of The “Ayahuasca Monologues: Tales of the Spirit Vine,” a religion blogger for “The Huffington Post”, and a Reiki Master and certified Bioenergetic healer. He currently orchestrates Psychonaut Productions shenanigans with his “partner-in-Love-crimes,” Claudia Wheeler-Rappe.
(Want to help with corrections? Please contact me to learn about rewards for your efforts!)
Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin okay I’m here with Jonathan talat Phillips at space camp and he is a shamanic personal trainer and he’s going to share with us some of his skills and techniques and strategies for Illumination in the Modern Age and Jonathan yeah if you want to see funny cuz my dog Dakota is licking then like crazy right now. We’re going to talk to wild stuff here I think we had a little bit too much California kind that’s Basecamp it’s just so nice that it’s like you can do it legally you know so this is a big wave night welcome everybody we’re going to get down I guess I’ll start with the fuck yeah frequency but you want to say something about my book first and yes yeah do you like Jesus is a must-read you’ll laugh you’ll cry you’ll hurl and it is there’s nothing else like it when I read that book I knew that I was connecting with someone who has a strong background in social justice activism in a healthy skepticism of the new age and it’s really a lot of people story and it’s something that I super validate and appreciate when I meet people who have been in the trenches of a resistance and understand what we are up against and now we’re evolving tactics that are much more effective because they’re spiritually effective so that’s my energetic as I want to take a big rainbow gun and shoot the fuck out of spiritual you know where ya been I’ve been in this for a long time no one ever believes I’m 40 years old I look 20 freaking 6 but yeah I’ve been doing this probably since I was a listen to music as a kid and let’s read and Kerouac and I went from being a political activist media guy to Quantum initiation in 10 years that after I don’t fire energetic training evolver realize sandwich people know that a lot of this stuff hundred Ayahuasca ceremonies come across a cheat for initiation and it’s about this illumination we’re talking big wave stuff here like Shadow elimination and for me the Cheetahs the fuck a frequency what I realized I was sending a boring email to about one of my clients and my guides just came in and just a brief freaking deal that you love this work and they started playing Happy Mondays step on I realize it was 95% that’s the energy of the fuck yeah frequency and when I realized it myself most of my clients is most depressions most anxieties most parasitic attachment happens cuz we’re not riding at our 95% now there’s some weird things so I’ve discovered about the 95% but maybe we should I talk about that first before we get to go down the rabbit hole cool huh so what is it 95% in detail well when I think about 95% it helps to go back to time in your childhood when you rocked it you were just in the flow and connected and for me that was price skiing and so it’s just I feel like I’m just came through life flowing through at 95% high energy Zone in the trick is you don’t have to be skiing to do it you can wash the dishes and do it but I need excitement I need to play music I need to karate chop things sometimes it’s do weird stuff to ride in it and I’ll get it there’s kind of a glass that goes on as your creative channels open up and we can get into that weird stuff cuz the 95% usually involves once you start kicking at it a hundred percent you are trying to be perfectionist 95 you just love life 5% sucking is your car either you got to love it too is it sits the 80-20 rule 2.7 what was the 80/20 you know Focus only 20% on the negative or the problem 80% on the solution and a sort of fractal pattern that they say if I still kind of the stuff I 95 would have does has kicked people into their higher self energy so it’s it’s just as easy to get to is it’s actually easier to get to 95 than 85 and you said yeah I mean I think it’s fucked up show cuz usually higher Vibes and trying to be spiritual shirts a trickster it see this is what I think is happening with the Psychedelic movement if we’re taking ourselves too seriously and we’re slowly letting it out and enjoying the dildo and replacing it and that’s kind of humor is where I Luminate things cuz he got to have a fucked-up sense of humor to the laughter in the bedroom and it’s the best to how do we laugh more in the bedroom what do you mean I don’t know it’s just things to know about waves crashing together I don’t know I’d like to laugh a lot more in the bedroom by not taking yourself too seriously that’s step one but that could be a lifetime study of how to get more laughter in the bath bedroom that would be a life well spent elimination so you never talk about illumination fuckyeahkrieger I never thought about that until George Bush won the election totally depressed looking for answers start seeing energy fields on MDMA on my 30th birthday first time I do Ayahuasca I’m sure I’m kind of three evolutionary things it in like a future shoot for Humanity of where we’re going after civilization it was pretty cool it was weird that was a snake that was half human or half organic half synthetic technology and biology merged energy illuminate. I was giggling and laughing and they just said are you ready for this one it’s going to be more than your human ego can have her fucking imagine it has to be done and they brought me up on this lotus flower and I was just told this is it this is what you’ve been looking for I was brought into this light this light is Shone all around me everything was light light light light light Limited so beautiful inside likely shea butter and they said this is what you’ve been looking for this is the Krishna Jesus Buddha energy and is real humans are enlightened time to remember and so that’s for me is illumination button right when I had that Vision I also had this thing of all but how can people hurt each other I think this gets into the parasitic stuff maybe we could spin into that before we get into the weird fuck at 4:50 and why do we need the fuck a frequency now more than ever because we’re under attack and plagued now more than ever yeah we were probably played worse in the middle is when everything was fucking dark high-speed internet porn makes the Middle Ages comparison to the infection rate of demonic parasite yummy High shot by chick kind of dark skin so itchy lady Kali kind of style hi Vibe no venereal diseases but she doesn’t want to do a job and she loves to fuck and she’s dumbing it up and bringing all this positive energy quadcross the internet to a repressed culture see these mechanisms I don’t think rich is bad like sure there’s some parasitic should out there but I don’t watch that do I don’t know maybe if you have any weird day isn’t it yummy yummy snacks but even that kind of worries me a little bit cuz are we trying to be conscious or is it actually just hide live and fun we’ll hear something to put in a context and maybe is a checklist edir Sherwin of mine in the tundra World said this very bluntly about most porn you know that’s like popular at least now it’s it something I believe the list was there’s no love is no soul there’s no God in what’s being portrayed and there’s a specific details about the research that’s out on you know specifically how it affects and opens up dark doorways for demonic infection of of the Watchers you know they’re reporting in their own words and to help heal sex drugs and rock and roll and this is just I have clients that go on Pleasure probation because they’re used to addictive ideas of sexuality but I think we got to openly sexual channels we got to awake and if we are just about sex I am a cat like let’s fuck yeah that’s what everyone wants like I don’t want to do it with everybody but I probably do and I think we just got the facts about this shit so In-N-Out in a state of epidemiology where they’re serious consequences if it’s not done by certain ethical standards of course I’ll just say that as a disclaimer I’m not even looking at the porn industry like your I’m looking at who’s doing the fuck yes those are people I’m paying attention to who are the hybrids that they’re doing those interesting things if my focus is on that that’s what I tracked and that’s the Fuck Yeah Yeahs you literally are daily focusing on the awesome things around you it’s a real gratitude frequency but man I hope more complaining about pouring and start shooting some cool stuff like you’re so yummy that these goddesses leg the whole planet and God I feel like we’re not allowed to use God’s very often well I think there’s four categories of modern men and at the bottom you have douchebag at the bottom you have a man is above that you have douchebag above that you have gentleman and buy that you haven’t and that’s sort of a a template for initiation Through The Dark Age of human sexuality that we’re stuck in it right now but but yes owning that godhood is what country is all about you know and got to got his head in both side swapping the energies and feeling masculine and feminine or however you want to terminate you know if cycle through so that you get a full balance internal and external you know balance circuits balancing the well Channel well I would say it’s yummy it opens people up there having fun you know she’s got a good energy about it that’s what it’s all about love and write important is love I know that but it’s just because I’ve seen people that look like they’re having a lot of fun and actually are couples in love like it was very different than I thought in some ways it wasn’t in other ways it was in this like I’m saying it’s his hi Vibe I think you can’t hide by Bruce even in that I look more down on them political systems in Port in the mode of reactivity towards what we don’t like let’s say this the fuck are frequency one we’re in the future where fuck your frequency is the norm and what is human sexuality and sexual expression look like as a part of sustaining that fucking frequency why would you need it because you have sex because you have sexual access but you can also just say the whole Kingdom of Heaven is the port industry it’s just this beautiful fluffy enlightened space of Energy’s connecting with energies and whatever form they desire and yeah it’s a weird transformation is actually like I thought I was just mr. straight guy and then suddenly these goddesses are coming in and open up the hearts and you know like I feel transgender and I really feel like there’s be so I’m half woman and I should have known I was in for it because all the Hermetic texts and Gnostic texts talk about that androgyny in alchemy the man when you’re clocked at goddess activate your Diva comes in purple than the pangs make yummy and I know call guys gals and like I got that sassiness is coming in and style that I never thought was me and it’s way more me that’s a 95% flow with such as these fucking everything and everything store hacking at that like anywhere I can because gnostics didn’t look at the labels too much yeah that’s we don’t need to go down that rabbit hole but this since since you know this is Township Punk we’re talking about edgy sexuality and edgy transformation cultural transmission stuff so it fits if we end up you know in those bits of dialogue it’s totally appropriate for this medium so so I think we we got some fuk a frequency on the topic of Shadow sexuality and light sexuality and how to dance with both so what else can one do to be on track with her 95% fuck a frequency Lifestyle by linebacker a year what would we talk about you your it turned out like a fuck you out for used to being the sexorcist cuz it’s just like it’s you at I Vibe it’s a little fucked up and it’s fine I mean and that’s what I’m going to do is find what is that energy driving you I had a good friend to get all these projects you wanted to do that that’s it and then suddenly said you know I kind of just going to keep being weird like wizard chaos magic wizard and when he said that I was like that is 95% that’s his fuck yeah and so it’s like this Rockstar way of moving through reality where Nothing Stops it right in word State putting your heart into the walls psychedelic allegories I don’t know what I have to look into who is writing the stuff but it’s just like Rambo you know I watch Rambo game like this is a guy with PTSD who went nuts and like Snapped out and then broke down crying about all the suffering you endured as a combat veteran it was extremely subversive and I totally denied it for many years didn’t watch it I watched recently and I’m like damn I was I was missing out and there’s a lot of good is a surprising his love his messages so inhuman mine one of them along with Jean-Claude Van Damme of course I think the cake will he was the belly dancer bodybuilder and karate master with his own gym and stuff so yeah you seem kissing man and you see him saying I love you too man and watch them you know shrink away unfortunately the Ninjutsu all that stuff that was in Bloodsport I mean morning some of my you know early masculine programming Jose but man he stood out like he’s probably really glad to dated he’s at that 95% look how high when will he has you she had some bipolar issues I believe if I’m quoting the record accurately I know he’s suffered deeply a lot of people do to get successful that level so I don’t know what happened I don’t know what his true character ever was I don’t know what happened to it when he had you know when he got very successful I know that there is some some serious like inappropriate things that I think happened so yeah I mean I don’t I don’t want to quote well there is a a psychedelic backdrop to the artwork and the world that they’re in kind of interdimensional you know Travelers and whatnot and some shamanic & esoteric Concepts built into the the whole mythology of what he was and what is tapping into and you know it by frequency write the 95 percent extreme empowered Female warrior archetypes in the movie at least and so anyways just to but let’s talk about that cuz that’s kind of the fuck have frequencies you have to see life is but I have the power right yeah it’s Mythic instead of logical and yeah it’s Limitless talismans like all that shoots real like humans real yourself and they have to get your TV to self out to I got the power and the dance move the real inspiration dancing with sore as you know and that’s a whole art form in itself it’s just like the most coolest thing to say Michael’s kind of my guy and girl know he’s kind of that androgynous Warrior Place both sign it I swear I never thought I’d be like transgender and checking out guys and I now find everyone why do I miss out on 50% of the beauty on the planet that’s tragic does it mean it would be tragic them to not enjoy 100% of the beauty that walks the Earth I know we just met each other down so much but that gets into the demon stuff man you want to I think you want to approach that why don’t you open up the dungeon for a minute okay everybody we’re going to be having some trigger warning alerts for going to defend depend of the Shadow at this point if you have serious you know bring your headlamp we’re going into the shadow cave world the underworld and what are you tell us about this bowling ball illumination chapter sure and you know what I think I have a gift for everyone going to go through my little Shadow Journey sign me up there’s two things I get most calls about and you know people wanted to sessions about when they read the electric Jesus and that is the bowling ball the black bowling ball of anxiety in my gut and the weird ask cool alien contact stuff so this bowling ball anxiety I just you know I grew up in kind of a home that you might say that a lot of kind of verbal abuse and I think I internalize a lot of that overtime and also I really think there are these bugs there are these parasites but in my experience and not what you think at first that looks like a demon and I’ve been Illuminating cost of bugs and things like this and I put the frequency what it does is it moves through it I used to fight in feeling like try to fight negativity with negativity capacity just laughing and the great thing about the Pacquiao frequencies you can hit it 95% like you can hit it all day the problem by find a psychedelic medicines and all this even yoga is when you leave the mat you can’t leave the practice and if you’re just wrong 95% 95 Fox half monkey half of that stuff starts turning into Angels it starts turning into an integrated power I’m going through I mean it’s the bed sometimes it doesn’t hurt yeah that’s what it was done something to the effect if you gotten desert face your demons to become angels. so what are you waiting for you got to learn and if you’re not prepared yet you can’t get taken down really run but how many of us is the armor and loving yourself how do you love these how do we love ourselves that’s your study going to be your sexy sex or cyst and then I’ll do you know and that’s open to both male and female physiology where is it up your ass and around the corner at the P Spot a male G-spot the prostate gland that rhythmically with love providing love and pleasure and a medicinal effect occurs which is the demons dislodge and at that point you want to have a a sanitary disposal method in place so that you don’t end up propagating through the neighborhood or the apartment building whatever comes out you know so that’s the same sets in Container Park but that’s it that the female G-spot above the top of the vaginal wall with the come hither motion it can be stimulated and do try this at home but it requires training and it requires respect and knowledge and awareness informed consent about the kind of material that can move through the the chakra system when it’s when it’s stirred up and when it has to run and Scurry away from a disinfectant light of love that you’re should be receiving from your partner from your sexual Hands-On healer it’s fun to get a little high at night breathe energy Bree positivity enjoy yourself use some lube move the energy I like to not to come and just awake awake and then I do agree with the anus really prescribed a self-pleasure practice to all my clients cuz we need to get our balls back I feel like religion Society everything is cut our balls in your knees off and that’s why I’m spiritual folks feel so powerless Goddess that I know and have and have been influenced by quite a bit she said one time you know throwing your hands up shrugging men are afraid of their assholes and I laughed and then I was like you know but I wanted to cry because how silly would it be to be if it’s like you see make a joke I’ve been afraid of your own shadow how much of a coward are you if you’re afraid of your own ass, I know it’s so busy of my clients when they first began this is the last Pratt this is the last Practice still doing is trying to get your balls back so in your book you talk about your first time receiving such pleasure and such Adventure right you want to oh man I have a whole six adelic practice like you know you just get your groove on you work with the energy you young man but people focus too much on that I think building it up yourself about coming as a guy you found as much as they want Rollie talking about ejaculatory or non ejaculatory champagne bubbles going up and you know it’s a circus when you go and you hit that Bell and then the little ball goes up and hits the Bell the top that’s your pineal gland and that’s your root chakra and your sex chakra at the bottom you got a pound that orgasm up the central Channel and ding hit the veil at the top and that’s your shower v&t I don’t go light doesn’t start pounding it to the energy will go right up and open my heart to heart on the way to the head right yeah I saw to cut it when you were saying that like the the old love machine thread say like stinky fish are called fish like Hot Lover at the top of the motherfuker when you hit the sex chakra in Boones up and also what I think is a lot of people are not hitting that Tasha and bring it in this is the other red pill of the 95% this is probably the biggest one remember I said there were two reasons people reach out to me the electric Jesus tell me again black bowling ball and Aliens I think a lot of the reason people have black bowling balls is cuz they’re actually Galactic and they got like when they wake into that they just called the freak down they realize they’re kind of Star Energy and like it’s kind of like a homecoming so for those who have not read the book yet and who and who promised to read as soon as possible the black bowling up the black bowling ball in astral ecological terms what are we talkin about the well I think it’s multi-faceted you know you could say it’s demon in pain demon in pain demon in pain demon in pain demon demon missed a densely populated bosses and loaded with acts like a mining town of coal mining town gun can spider webs spiders for sure I have seen crazy noodles but then I’ve seen demon babies you sending babies I’ve been in the Hatchery adorable otherwise they will never go away the quickest way I know to love them is to find a Maduro Mall Dumont find an adorable even whisper and get them on their backs rub their bellies until they get what they need to move on someone said to me recently I activate the Divinity and all and if these are all forms you know so yeah do you forget that you’re you know of the light well in your mind you and send you on your way here stuff Milton go no actually I take a little more that’s that’s one of the pest control comes in with the higher dimensional beneficial Predators you come in at telling it like if you were terminated demon I’d say hit 95% all the freaking time remember her have a good time all the time right the first be but I do have all sorts of energy like I believed me again like you figure it out yourself you do the internal medicine you know you either maybe you need Saint Michael sword to stab down your spine or power of He-Man Atomic love bombs fluff It Up With Angels radio on Xena everything you got the first on your side to win the game The Love Game so that everyone else can also in the living room the path to Perfection is to love him Perfection loving the imperfection you know cuz his demons are things that are highlighting stuff in you to figure out what basically do you are you familiar with the a pass and what is it is a line and in the Bible of pardon my lack of knowing the rapper was it called a reverse right there’s a Bible verse and I can’t say exactly which one but people who know it will know it will recognize it it’s where Jesus is performing an exorcism on a person whose demons are channeled and speak to the person to say something is effective would you torment us before our time or it would be so basically this person’s fucked-up Karma gave us an assignment to go to torture them and torment then and make them physically mentally ill and that’s on them what are you doing here why are you coming to reassign us we’ve got a job to do and so it’s karma that attracts it there multiple doorways and entry points for interdimensional demons to persist throughout a G & D N A line through production and then there’s whatever you do in your own Lifetime and that’s on you but you absorb your parents, You observe your past life Karma and you Credit Karma every time you speak think and act in this lifetime that’s a lot of opportunity for opportunistic parasitic organisms from other dimensions to come in and build their ass but I wouldn’t hear your modelli but what I would say is don’t focus on that shit focus on rainbows and lollipops and Cyndi Lauper Girls Just Want to Have Fun and dance dance dance dance dance into your heart opens and blows the fucker incinerate them with sexual ecstasy and dance floor ecstasy MDMA if you can ride it Sylvester let’s talk about shrooms and you have a way of working with astral ecology at the sexorcist so this is the moment for you to share I use the thug a frequency the black. Plaster this I gave the the more scientific white paper lab report version of this in a previous podcast astral ecology with Tom Denney where it’s you know a little bit of a more yeah okay thank you so to match your frequency and be at the 95 percent frequency I’m going to say that you know I’m a Westerner and a white you know Caucasian male who’s semi bisexual and that’s my orientation or that’s my as a postmodernist wouldn’t introduce their their their paper their argument by trying to contextualize their own bias you know so there you have that disclaimer out of the way and so when I talk about encountering the Hindu goddess or goddess that exists Beyond cultural language it’s in a non cultural bound non culture-bound higher-dimensional beneficial predator in the astral ecology that performs a function in the garden of your soul back into ladybugs eating aphids and when you create create habitat and you encouraged the growth of beneficial predators in your garden than you have what’s called biological Pest Control happening and you don’t have to be out there individually fighting each of them one by one taking them off trying to poison them or incinerate then you obviously ecstatic love making ecstatic dancing and all the other ways to maintain a healthy mindscape is inhibitive to their growth but if their growth is so save dug in like termites where your house is condemned and that’s why you kill yourself is because you feel like your house is condemned because the demons have infested in rotted out every board there is an option and that option is to call upon the higher-level the higher dimensional high-level predators in the food web of the S to ecology and they can reduce that parasite load dramatically because that’s what they eat and that is constant and effect throughout visible nature in microbiology and it extends Beyond this dimension in that’s the lecture part of it the fuck yeah frequency frequency part is that I Know Myself personally and people who have worked with using this understanding in this methodology of of sacred chanting that evokes or invoke saw the goddess to to to do was call Daddy possession and your trance-state and become the goddess by invoking it into the flash this is what you can call Angelic possession and what Angels do they eat demons so call it whatever you want demons are edible to a higher level dimensional predator and snakes Kundalini snakes are your friends too because they help Munch up all of those noxious infectious Critters and creatures that are that are at Quest ring or Nest inside those 72000 nadi’s that connect to shaka’s that’s their habitats you were their habitat if you think of the nest of the biz in your not easy to do and what do you see you soon as sodium is in your chakras is beautiful rainbow light opening up the parts where the things got in rainbows coming here in call he’s coming in in the most beautiful black badass energy waves that she can you know what it looks like when you know when a raccoon when a pack of raccoons raid the nest of a rodent or does it look like fucking Carnage Bistro astral Carnage blood and say that yes and light and rainbows but I’ve also seen when you take a sort of light and you put it into a dark base it turns light pretty freaking quick is Martin’s lights just more powerful you know but that’s the thing is you’re calling in the big lady Khalif to do the work for us and you know I work with same Michael that way I think it’s pretty special that you got this really sexy dark black people are working with these Dark Healers like Trent Reznor and a bassoon Kali I think there’s a real teaching there like these Light Dark Healers and that’s why you’re so weird and I just cut share this wisdom well to tell you the truth as an initiate of a higher-level order of priestesses whatever Social Capital comes from my healing journey and like pseudo discovery of this technology the the mic goes to my Guru s my Shawn Mendes and my teacher who did the transposition state and became Kali and physiologically and trans-dimensional E performed an act of consumption of the Demons even built like I give all the love to the dime a man for cash bro I agree type your elders but man I think your new car would do you a lot of good it’s new on the inside well actually because you mentioned that I guess this would be a good time the best of of any time to to put on record that my service to the divine feminine you know is such that I owe my life to it at this moment and nothing to it but to her and to the real the real sword of shamanic election or initiation so I’m under orders you know as we speak and part of my future is going to be be emphasizing my my egoic aspirations you know and whatever money that comes in a huge proportion of it is going to be funneled directly into the Psychedelic goddess worshiping Priestess class that have certain you know that’s my thing has been in the movement for 20 years I hear you but it’s like yeah that’s I think that’s what we’re all doing what they’re about it’s a permaculture Mythic you know return of surplus you know not to accumulate anything too much in one area including your own ego including your own bank account distribute that where it’s needed so that everyone can be written up to the next level Yeah Yeahs live so I can share the wealth and I I really hope this movement I feel like the The Genius of its just salivating so quickly and it’s like this Quantum Renaissance is coming in I’m just enjoying kind of watching it getting another big ride into a great adventure but can we talk about this I want to apply the fuck you a frequency little nor like in a lot of people are the outfits are getting better from Sirius documentary movie about Ayahuasca to start doing some fun stuff about the culture that’s kind of bored of my things like I really want to see more like what was it reality hack Dublin scissors a lot of after I don’t want to miss school but I’ll paraphrase and say that you’re different fronts of the movement so to reach their highest and most gifted strategy and you would add to that do whatever you do in the fuck are frequency and document along with all the Sciences coming out in more of the Revelation where the fun more of the hands on how to application is that more action another level Beauty flash most I didn’t say I really want to see what people are doing in their backyards the fun weird stop someone from a kosher baby but I was dude BMX bikes and skating as a kid and people reading the school Ashton Kutcher skateparks man grow your own first aid Garden for those scrapes and bruises when you fall if you’re bored and just passed something arms I would do a video about combo tattoos where hey do you like looking like a indigenous badass but you don’t want to do all that puking and key tattoo and it’s got like you could get like different versions that the wimp has three the warrior has seven so like Boy Scouts patches or something fake tattoos that make you look like you are like easy access yoga pants I want to do with I’d like I just want to take over Iraq of where the movement sad and throw it about 50 ft for their head there’s a lot of fun stuff coming out but I think it’s still got to hit this next level where it’s into it’s making fun of it but totally celebrating enjoying it the same time it’s not just Pastiche and it’s not documentary it’s not shit new girl skit Newark New Age Girl Say and it’s not the documentary about Ayahuasca there’s there’s a new line that I want to see where the realities we are experiencing are being expressed I’m seeing it at the festival’s I can one seed in the movies in the music the music off the hook right now psychedelic reality TV show where they go on a world tour and you see them all trying to fight fire can see God in the real world I’m I’m so I’m so has a skeptical of of reality TV shows that’s all I got to say about exercising everybody good Beagle you have to write producers frequency is like I feel bad you were fuck yeah it’s just kind of magically manifested that you’re here I mostly clabber it 95% or above all have our own bullshit but it really the 90 funky as a good bull shit shit meter it’s been extremely helpful night I think yes Soul surfing I still surf with you on the stage at the Sugar Shack at the first Shaman at Gathering and and I felt it and that’s I yearn for that now you’re going to relive my childhood in a way that is actually a lot better than it actually was and that’s about staying excited we all getting a second childhood I think you know ivesta thing to Discovery in the news right now is all this health was just people had bad childhoods those with health issues in a bad mood to the food if he said it’s the last one of us II of things here like all of these tyrants throughout history it’s just one cascading momentous bad mood until the Kingdom of Heaven is a good mood away either you just can be a little lazy here in life cuz they give you the big ideas you know a lot of people come to me for your book title ideas and stuff and the guys always come up with really great things and I think that’s really part of the magic about the quantum Realm Eugene maybe more channels channels open up you get to do more than one thing in life you know look at you you’re a musician you’re a writer during SEC sources do you know I’m a shamanic personal trainer writer public speaker it’s just follow your dreams what are you all say to tapestry of the tapestry of that ass for me text Asia you never know how it’s going to unfold either do you know I can’t admit I couldn’t imagine myself being where I’m at now you know several years ago by any means I’m get you every time God bless God bless everyone going out there going through it you know yeah it’s just like I love things like this pain I feel like we’re coming to the close is Siri any Grand Finale kind of sentiments this is exactly what I intended was kind of a a freestyle you know what I mean a freestyle for us all you know from the heart and and from the head and Nike with some humor to seed you know the future with some of these key words that are starting to like become you know memes you know they could pick it really be useful constructed meme so as mimetic designers romantic Engineers with the conscience spell and in with the vision oh God you’re so articulate I love that we have a practical guide for sexorcism he’s going to be writing an article so keep tuned for that and I have my funky a frequency if anyone’s interested I’m starting sessions I’ll give you an hour and a half after half an hour to get a free electric Jesus blah blah blah but if you kind of been wanting to do a fuc yeah I kind of program and see where where you can go just reach me my sights it’s a psychonaut – tala t a l a t. Com yes and we’re here at space camp again enjoying the beauty the moon’s out well I’ll stay you know my closing thoughts which is one I love you brother your inspiration a hero to me and and it’s an honor and privilege and duty to be here in this moment to take ourselves a little less seriously and have some fun and as far as you know my offering right now it’s still sort of in in development and I don’t want to say I’m going to have to wait until we build an ark in international waters can be able to do this stuff without the black helicopters on top of his butt stay tuned and I’m embedding some of these recipes for liberation of the soul in my in my heart and in music so in writing so there you have three have it well but I really appreciate your integrity my intention all along was to bring out the wild stuff and be a little bit of fun trouble and I think you I really enjoyed it thanks bro I haven’t done I haven’t done an interview in a very long time this is my coming out for the new thing so it’s nice to pop my cherry with it’s the third anniversary of 2012 right this year something right this second thank you for listening to the touch of Time Podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and if you want a podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been at kontrapunkt. Com Thomas Day