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This is a two part mini series of commentary on the making of the Sexorcism the Tantric Opera album. I explain the story and logic behind the title, and go into detail about each track’s backstory, lyrics, and context in my journey of tantric adventuring.
Part 2 has the added bonus feature of a full (yet low quality and rough mix) album preview at the end of the commentary. I humbly ask the listener to retain a copy of the podcast files as a security measure so that a “proof of concept” version will exist and persist within the distributed listener network until I’m able to finish the final mixing and mastering, and subsequently immortalize the work with an official release sometime in the next month.
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello their beloveds welcome to Township hunting podcast episode number 197 this is a behind the album episode where I am going into detail about the backstory behind each of the tracks in my still as yet not fully mixed and mastered but I’m providing a rough rough mix version right now and I’m giving this spine the album Treatise if you will in a two-part at 2 part of a miniseries to cover this because something very well I have a a dual life another life is it a touring musician in a in a somewhat prominent Punk metal grindcore band and I usually keep those worlds as separate as humanly possible for various conflicts of interest are politically maybe it’s her matters and genres and things there’s there’s definitely a reason for me to have to compartmentalize the different aspects of my my life and so I don’t normally talk about it doesn’t normally come up on the podcast or in the in the world except Township Uncle though the reason Township Punk is not your pockets because I have been in bands and have been in that scene for most of my life and and it informs my spirituality so nips all that is to say that actually I’m about to go participate in that world and go and be on a tour with that van and so for me it is a best practice of data hygiene of being a scribe in an archivist for myself to say every time before I go on a tour where my from a infosec kind of perspective an operational security perspective when I go on the road and I’m touring in a band by attack surface exponentially increases for so many reasons it’s but it’s obviously you’re you’re away from your element you are exposed to all kinds of different jurisdictions you’re in the middle of all these this debauchery and bars and clubs and all ages venues and you know is violence there is a legality of all of All Sorts just in the world of being a touring musician so so basically every time in preparation for one of these Adventures I try to do my best to kind of backup and consolidate my files and really make it easy for people to follow the the breadcrumb trail and hopefully in the case of my psychedelic sexual shamanic research material for that to be easily catalog in for people to be able to if they so choose carry on with replicating my procedures and replicating a my research and experiment to study designs so the podcast has been away too too fairly neatly organized the chronology of my works and and also the music that I create is part of documenting and in its it’s really a it is the research it’s part of the packing up the research and so that’s all that is to say that what I’m doing right now with this two-part series is making a timely effort to ensure that all of the work that I put into producing these tracks which are not yet fully released in terms of being licensed for global distribution input into the finalized ultimately point of no return Masters like right now I still have some room to to remix in to fine-tune and get some professional mastering done in a Russian as a sort of emergency measure to make sure that I have something out there as my proof of concept that will outlive me should anything knock on wood goddess forbid bad happened to me out there on the road you know the sad thing is that in this world of everything being on third-party platforms and having to pay for hosting services and whatnot I were not fully there yet with the immutable unsensible black chain file storage and distribution networks are very very close. Probably about a year away from being really the the ideal solution for pressing a button and having your whole life’s work backed up in a way that can never be destroyed or forgotten or low-cost or mishandled or tampered with an altered so given that you my dear beloved listeners right now are my best and Only Hope In This Moment of immortalizing the work that I’ve done on this album sexorcism the ton truck Opera because I do not have time at this moment to finish the final Masters and get them lodged into the Matrix of the the music industry by licensing them up through CD baby and all that and I’ll distribution networks you were my best and only option for backing up this material so what I’m going to do is I’ve recorded already a few months ago when I was also in at the moment of feeling like that the walls are closing in on me and I felt the need to too well like a plant going to see if you don’t understand is if a plant would normally grow and have a nice fully is nothing but then it gets stressed by heat or or drought or something it will just bolt it will go to seed so that’s what I’m doing I’m bolting I’m going to seed somewhat prematurely here and I hope that the seeds are harvested and can be propagated from and if and if I get back from the store and everything is great and I can move on from this then then by all means you will have done a huge favor to me just by not deleting these two episodes your app if you’re using an app probably automatically deletes the files after you download them and streaming what not but if you could do me a huge favor and eventually I will be monetizing this in in incentivizing this meaning that I will find ways to pay people to maintain copies of my work but for now it’s a gift to you a free not fully polished not fully high-resolution version but on the second episode of there will be the full album in its rough mix form for your listening listening pleasure hopefully not displeasure but if you could at least hang on to that for me as a favor then we I know that all this work will not have been in vain if anything happens to me and then like oh yeah then disappears album didn’t get officially released album doesn’t exist no one knows it no one can find it whatever you have a copy of it now if you save the part 2 of the series cuz part one is just going to be the half of the album’s behind the tracks commentary and in reading and lyrics in in part 2 will be the second half of exactly that plus the full album at the end so these files are going to be slightly bigger than normal apologize for that but your again do me a huge favor so yeah with that said this is for the remainder this episode next episode you’re going to be hearing my commentary on this new album that I am about to officially release and this is the sort of pre-release secret exclusive sharing of the the material with my my podcast listener so thank you again for bearing with me and all this madness and I hope you enjoy this series and I will be continuing to publish episodes from the road and you can wish me luck on all of those Adventures out there now bringing the spirit of raw loud wild chaotic Liberation out into that that sector the punks X are so all right with us said enjoy thank you. Mistake Okay so sexorcism the tantric Opera the album recruited a title track sexorcism tantric Opera it is track number 7 we will get to it and sequence but this is sort of a another desperate Poor Man’s maneuver to Lodge this medicine into the Matrix and when this witness album is Is mastered and mixed and officially licensed and distributed into the into the actual through the publishing through the digital Distributors he’ll get it into the main centralized networks for this to be Primetime and accessible to anyone on the web what not that’s really that is a huge form of validation for for my work and the probability of me getting picked up in the I want my money back up and say that sexism the tantric Opera is the name that I came up with for what is now a series of short documentary films most of them featuring music and very prominently music as the driving force that is the Shakti that produces the induces the dance and makes the the medicine work happened it it’s it’s it’s it’s not guaranteed that then I’m going to win any awards or get into the Sundance Festival or anyting with this material and again it could be just completely lost last time so one way that I can hack the Matrix is to put out an album and album is for less than $100 through CD Baby bless their hearts and by all means if your musician you should be listening to the DIY musician podcast which is your beautiful podcast that I love and adore but so now for after all of those all of those years of frustrated desire female for musicians to ever have any actual recordings of it work let alone distribution the recordings you know now where the time where for less than a hundred bucks you can take your work and you can upload it and you can pay to have it be haven’t have the barcode haven’t get the the legal processing in the publishing and all of the rights and all the thing everything all of that extremely the width of the Witchcraft you know that it is the sort of tradecraft where all those middle people had all of that Paris attack power now they’ve I wouldn’t say it’s not cutting out to the middle people in that process so much it’s just because of Technology it’s been streamline so what I can do what what I can’t do is like very sustainably pray for the miracle that I get a lot of recognition for my video projects that is just not efficient to tip to try to to try to pray for that but what is efficient is to say okay well I can take this title this exorcism Itachi Opera I can make it into a title track of an album I can make it an album title and if I Lodge that material into the music industry then it will never go away I can die I can disappear all of my Works can can dissolve into nothingness and I have some guarantee that this the gods of the music industry will forever be archiving this material it becomes Immortal in that way so it’s it’s just it’s to me it was a tactic to adapt this this into into an album and really it’s been a bunch of scraggly as singles that have come through over the last couple of years since the first two albums were released I released both two albums I think on the same day Earth Day 2016 I was blessed while living at the at the queendom with magic fucking pussy and her to previous podcast episodes where I go into the behind the albums on those two and I go into the tracks I do exactly what I’m about to do right now but since those those albums released you know the creative Inspirations and in N pockets of death of Howard call free time but but the pocket the gorilla time that I’ve been able to put into tracking it’s put in kind of a hodgepodge of of tracks and so now we know based on the pressure that I’m under I’m saying okay I’m going to I’ve got to do this tactical thing and I’ve got to put these tracks out there so I’m going to do this album I’m going to give it the same title as the as the documentary series title and of course really these tracks are all always kind of weaving in and out of the soundtracks at my films anyway like I’m basically my own I’m doing my own scores for my own works and so is very complimentary in that sense as well but this is my opportunity to to talk about the intentionality and to give the the companion manual for navigating the tracks of this album so first I will just give the titles won by one and then I will go into each one of them and what they mean and and what they’re trying to say and how to best interact with them as an application by spiritual app musical spiritual app if you will so track number 1 ohm namah shivaya track number 2 feminist pornstars track number three you don’t need a man track number for math Archie track number 5 Enjoy the Silence track number six psychedelic goddess worship track number seven sexorcism the tantric Opera track number 8 holistic debauchery so sounds like a typical Friday night with me a handful of mushrooms and what I’m affectionately calling my new pick your poison mind I call it hard Coco like hot cocoa but hard cocoa and I’m mixing tequila which is a paleo friendly agave-based non grain alcohol mixing that with raw organic powdered cacao and Stevia and organic almond milk and creating kind of like a of liquor is a Paleo non sugar low to no carb liquor with this beautiful cacao ceremony effective opening part very very wide and Anna as you can tell opening my fucking mouth too so you know if you don’t like me hear my voice like stick your nipple on my mouth or something to show me up if you like or whatever else you got I’ll take it for the mouth is open My Heart is Open the hard Cacao is flowing I’m going to toast on the microphone right now with my jar of hard cacao take a sit I would love to be licking that off of your whatever right now okay back to business so om namah shivaya the most cliche quintessential Hindu Tantra Mantra of Devotion to Lord Shiva who you we should all know and love but I’m just going to go straight from the wiki Wikipedia here home to my shivaya is one of the most popular Hindu mantras means salutations to the auspicious one or adoration to Lord Shiva I’m just picking and choosing a bit here from the Wikipedia here this Mantra is repeated verbally or mentally drawing the mind in upon itself to Lord shiva’s infant all-pervasive presence okay now I have a place in my heart for Shiva witch it should come as no surprise that as an intercom Punk who is in Rebellion against all things patriarchal and religion I have a hard time I was it’s been easier for me to seek the goddess then to seek God in in in in even the Eastern form and Eastern forms Shiva was a soft sell to me because he’s such a fucking punk and then he’s such a baby right he is some people say you know I want to get ripped like Jesus but really you know Shiva put Jesus to shame and he and he’s a dancer and that is so important he’s a pothead he’s a weed smoking I wouldn’t it’s borderline womanizing let’s be careful about that but in all of the different stories about his his sexual exploits with women let’s hopefully giving the benefit of the doubt and you know he’s he’s definitely a Playboy he’s the fucking spiritual Playboy par excellence and he’s ripped and he smokes weed and everybody loves him and in everyone worships his cock because the Shiva lingam is in no uncertain terms and not in no hidden in plain sight we’re talking about the the very the quintessence of worshipping the the male genitalia and it’s sacred form here so in its Cosmic form in Union with with it was often called the lingam Yoni so I’m just really right now off the cuff just this is the this is not the most devotional way of speaking about Lord Shiva course but I think he would he would be with me and understand and really what all of these archetypal beings are is there just opportunities are invitations for I think each of us those who are seeking a masculine and divine masculine archetypes a heroic figure if it’s very much like a super heroic archetype is it that that is to be aspired to and for me again why it’s been like a softer cell for me to 210 sing his name and sing the name of this archetype is that he’s basically represents a lot of what I hold here you know and so yeah that should come as no surprise now the reason that I would say this came into my my field of course I said in a previous episode on when I did the the track psionic fumigation that was the first dabbling that I did with invocational mantras for the Divine masculine and it has the proof’s in the pudding and there’s a there’s a lot of power in that that I discovered and with this with Omniverse shivaya it was not a practice that I had of sitting around and doing singing this Mantra repeating this mantra for my own daily connection to the Divine masculine I guess you could say I could kind of take it or leave it not to be not to be rude but I think with all the mantras that they come into my life I I I don’t force them I don’t necessarily think they come in at the right time from the right source for the right purpose and and it’s not just you know willingly I would say there’s a reason for it so there’s a very beautiful backstory to why and how I started to get romanced with Shiva and with his Mantra and it was that sound well this is kind of tarantino-esque the way I’m going to deliver the story but it kind of looks that all goes back to a I think it was Valentine’s Day probably 2016 when I had a Skype date that I was ghosted on and and stood up for and I was so thrown off balance by that that I snapped and I did something that I never thought I’d be capable of doing which was to go on a a sort of global campaign to solicit women from all over the world on OkCupid and sort of build this Amalgamated outsourced cumulative rebound validation effect coming from like okay fine you know that the woman who who I trusted to do good care with my heart and soul on Valentine’s Day even when not in the same city but we could have we know we were going to just have a Skype they just talk and it was like totally flaked on so course you know I felt like I felt like a doormat or not even doormat and I felt like I just fell through the floor of reality when that happen and I had this rebound thing so I started saying okay fucking I’m going to see what it feels like to get validation from hitting up women from all over the world and maybe I’ll find you know humbler sweeter more attentive more appreciative maybe even more impoverished people who are going to like say hey this is I mean maybe I’m missing out on some economic Arbitrage here with like relate love and relationships and maybe there’s like people in the world who were like it would be that I would be there fucking like Cinderella you know I will be there Disney Dream Come True Ultimate Fantasy and maybe they would give me the time of day and maybe they wouldn’t flake on me and I would get validated and but with being trying to be careful not to exploit or abused or manipulate or or hurt or harm them but I did that that’s a huge Karma krys could I you know and and also just seems like he’ll he’ll worthless and useless why would I try to develop a long-term distance relationships whatever but now I was in a frenzy I was mad I wasn’t saying I was crushed you know how it goes and so I just said fuck it and so I went on this campaign and then I started blasting out messages searching for women all over the world continents all over the fucking world and I thought you know whoever I’m panning for gold here and I’m going to be very meditative in this process and whoever I shake out of this whoever shows up you know they were meant to be because I talk like this is hundreds of messages people all over the world you know we’ll see what we’ll see what happens so low and behold it came down to a handful of some of the most beautiful and exquisite Souls that I’ve ever met in my life so again it’s the dumbest thing of like you never know it’s neither fortunate or unfortunate when something happens and you know you got to wait for the bigger picture to unfold so I can now look that woman who stood me up for a Skype date in the eye and if she would allow me to give her a big wet sloppy kiss and thank her so much for creating a space for me to do this crazy wild thing because it opened up these new experiences and it and it connected me with these new people who work for my teachers you know all women are my teachers and and sometimes vice-versa but certainly I’m always learning from him and I don’t know if they’re like tiny for a fever but I’m always learning for women and so the one that is the Catalyst for this only way she’ll never see if I attract she was a nineteen-year-old Bangladesh Bangladeshi young woman who lived in the middle of a war zone between Hindus and Muslims mostly Muslim extreme terroristic violence having bombs going off people dying melee Carnage in the streets and she’s talking to me about how we’re talking about the Goddess were talking about how she loves to wear her sarees and we’re talking about the aspirations she has and how she can’t the difficulty that she has getting to class to go to class because of all the terrorism happening around here and it’s like okay this is humbling to any of the women who have encountered in my immediate context to have for whatever reason been flaky or distracted or insincere or looking over my shoulder because I’m have enough money or whatever it is like it’s like that at all evaporates when you come I’m going to say you and I come into contact with Truly Deeply humbling women who are in the fucking trenches of patriarchy of these deep deep levels it just makes me look at everyone who was operating on a more frivolous level and it just like whatever attachment I had to them proof if I can get some generated so this woman is like able to steal and it while I I it was easy to fall in love with her through the internet and the dialogues we had it’s just I I have it saved this is us will be part of my archives because this is so epic I mean the most fucking romantic Tyler of my life you know coming from this and in another few other women from other parts of the world but this International exploration this one this one gal here if you know she really humbled me and that the dreams she had you know God is temples and restoring the the goddess of for traditions in and creating peace and she wanted to rescue dogs and she loves dogs and so we talked about how she could be training dogs and have a animal animal sanctuary in all these things so this is the de magic of Romancing are dreaming up all the stuff but she was really suffering and really distraught and really struggling and I wish that you could be with me you know she was missing me or she was starting to and I would say this is where it gets dangerous cuz you know people will start to addicted and you got to be careful will you promise in in in your now I say I noticed that she is found healthy love and relationships are in her own enter run zip code so she’s not waiting for me by any means she’s not like I didn’t break her heart or anyting like leaving her on and I certainly don’t have the means to like support her and be her around mail-order husband or anyting but what I was able to do is make an authentic connection to talk with her and have an understanding with her and so the best thing I could do for her giving her sick and her circumstances and I were or are distances I said okay you know what I’m going to make a track for you that’s going to be the thing that you can always rely on to feel not just my love but the did the love of the Divine masculine that’s the promise of Shiva the promise of having this archetype there is that you can say the names you can invoke the names and you can have his spirits appear to you and be present for you and to love you and to be to be your your consort working for it to be a sexy fucking concert I mean a dead fucking body a dead-stick rotting and bleeding the course of that fucking expression it’s not it’s it’s not just pretty morbid and it’s not very empowering and it’s not very it’s not very juicy you know if he’s so is Shiva is very fucking juicy this guy is dancing is guys beating the drums is guys smoking fucking doobies you know he said he’s in love with the clicker goddesses all the goddesses are fucking fighting over him you know this is a way juice your guy to have in your prayers in to have his part of your erotic development and a part of your your sexual Spiritual Development so. That’s what time she is all about like having your fucking cake and eating it too thank you very much so so I invoke that archetype for her in a crate this track for her and I and I just think about will how can I how can I really afford her like she’s not really you know she’s going to Tantra school you know she’s not she’s trying to like just kidding I don’t know of engineering job or just get skip to get a fucking paying job and if she’s not doing the esoteric Sanskrit studies whatnot so I’m just trying to like be there for her say okay look this is something that I think will be helpful for you whether you know no matter what happens between me and her she can always you know drop on this archetype she can always feel this love here it is it’s it’s it’s open source public resource love that is Shiva so so she was my shoe is my best attempt to encapsulate that Essence in my words and here goes and now so in the form that you can hear the track you’ll hear my bowfin my counterpart in this music sufiyana who is my scholar of Sanskrit my true goddess devotee and embodiment who has been in and out of various tracks over the years and so she provides the female voice to this so when I say it’s like a there’s like a call and answer thing going on in the first in the verses here it goes so from my voice I say from my Shiva and she says your inner God and I say to your Shakti and she says my inner goddess and I say I will support you and she says please support me and I say when you need me and I need and she says I need you now so it sounds like this from our God to yours support you to please support me when you need when you need when you need me so that’s the dialogue between Shiva Shakti I’m saying for my Shiva to your Shakti I will support you when you need me she says your inner God that’s Shiva my inner goddess has Shakti please support me I need you now I see in the next iteration of ruse from my Shiva to your Shakti I take your pain away please take my pain away she s with Divine Healing I say and she says with your love and that the if you see what I did there that idea is it with Divine Healing and she says with your love that is Divine Healing is love love is the painting if you have it 2/8 can be reduced to 1/4 it is that right if somebody help me out here so so moving right along the chant goes into the chant om namah shivaya om namah shivaya and we’re saying the devotional terms going down giving thanks appreciation to Lord Shiva and then it gets into the deep the deeper kind of more intense part of the track and I’m saying close your eyes wherever you are take a deep breath feel my hands on your heart I hold you close from behind warmth from my breath send warmth from my breath send shivers down your spine and goes through a couple more verses and choruses and then the next Serta Bridge here goes into I turn you around look into your eyes Kundalini awaken see your smile grows wide in the moments when you feel alone remember our dance is your Eternal home so it’s pretty self-explanatory nothing super mystical there but the idea is that there are a lot of lonely women out there and not just women I don’t need to get this doesn’t need to be gendered anyway but in the context of where this came about and I would my intent was with this young woman was to say you know whatever your boyfriend did that your vengeful about that you’re having trouble forgiving and forgetting and moving on from whatever your next boyfriend may do that is unsatisfactory or disappointing however I may succeed or fail in loving you you know all of these feeble and frail and body men in your life they really will never hold a candle to this broader archetypal Essence which is the the ideal that we’ve constructed of what we believe is like infinite unconditional beautiful masculine love and they say they created hell of a hunk you know to to to make that easy on the eyes to do so lucky bastards always Hindu people who have Shiva to look up to is there you know is there a non-acidic very ecstatic very and body Very sensual very erotic very musical very psychedelic yeah I love interest so nice I feel like that is the red Tantra you’re not feeling left out in that department while I’m being stimulated and everybody is being stimulated sexually and everyone is feeling a part of a closed circuit that is meeting everyone’s needs in in and there’s no favoritism there’s no hierarchy the really so Ben and if anything I am as the man I’m on my back and that is what time trick Kali worshipping actual full fully pornographic and I hesitate to use that word was fully glorious erotic depictions of the circuitry of how this stuff works so if it’s if you’re not approve any 3 I mean if you’re not so sexually stunted then you would just understand that these icons are just road maps to the spiritual terrain of understanding the energetics of Shiva Shakti god goddess energy so we’re designing with that and we’re creating a maximum hydraulic energy flows in in in a way that is very egalitarian actually inhibits the growth of the ego and that sense of so-and-so I’ve experienced this in not that exact formation but that’s why I aspire to be a porn director so that I can I can work with people who are very comfortable taking Direction and are not going to lose their minds and so I actually had this conversation today they’re what makes me not a cult leader and what prevents me from ever becoming a cult leader is this one fundamental thing right but I have to study cold it is to know how not to be a quote later cuz otherwise I would just be cranking out so much Kool-Aid day Kool-Aid would have to invent a time to punch flavor you know I got to be sponsored by Kool-Aid the Kool-Aid man oh yeah it would have it I make my own Kool-Aid Man Township anyway after dark okay I wanted how they’ve not sued like I have all of the libelous memes and they feel bad for the Kool-Aid guy I didn’t fucking poisonous people man I don’t mean to be making fun of them and I really got to get serious about not making a joke out of the people who died in the massacre Crazy Eights it’s it’s it’s public domain now to make a joke to either the expression people say don’t drink the Kool-Aid it’s because people at Jonestown were by a charismatic cult leader who was it was an extremely right with it skips a generation maybe but that’s how memes get formed yes so I mean that’s how they sort of deprecated the roots and you say things that we don’t know how does the reason we’re numb it so they don’t drink the Kool-Aid means don’t consent to a groupthink. Virus that makes mass suicide be acceptable and so they poisoned the Kool-Aid punch and that’s how everyone can scented make give it to their kids and everyone is like this is fine and some people try to protest and they were silenced and some people try to run away and it was a nightmare and it was absolutely what I would I must not allow myself to become as a priest that uses sexual mind manipulation and coercive tactics to trade love and affection attention and orgasm for 4 unquestioning devotion into the point of suicide so that that’s the extreme case that that we that is a litmus test for if you were going down that slippery slope but I actually tend to want to study the mental illness of sociopath sociopathy narcissism and I would like to consider myself a benign I’m the benign narcissist I know that that is a character flaw that I am not how we going to like defeat by doing the past limitations as many times that night and I’m going to roll with it and I’m going to say yeah I will be like Howard Stern and I will be I’m going to if I’m going to be this personality I’m going to make a bonsai tree out of my own ego if I can and have other people help in the process but but things going going back to the to the cult thing and what me what gives me the authority to design this orgasmic Orchestra what why and how do you not just become a colder than soy everyone you meet is basically in that on that game board now how am I going to manipulate you to be in this in this position that I would like you to be in to fulfill my fantasy of engineering all this town truck stuff and and if I’m if I’m this is well that’s spit out the Kool-Aid don’t swallow I think what we’ll get to that for sure that’s going to be a we’re going to get to that but can’t forget that we’ll save that for the for the most triumphant moment the climax is when we’re going to use that it’s so precious now after it’s been built up so ever since a joke that’s going about 2 it’s going to explain come on your face it’s going to come on yesterday and you’re going to beg for it and so hits is it is I’ve had people beg me to come in the third eye and it was hard to resist but this is going to be almost as good as that sharing you this one liner inside joke and just a minute but to wrap up this sort of dark out thing that we were doing with the coal thing is that it how do you know how do I hedge against being the creepiest man every like people think that Barney the purple dinosaur because he and forgive me if I’m butchering the facts here but as far as I know he’s doing what I considered to be taboos for me which is charging women money to have sexual penetrative intercourse with them above all without protection and making that into a to me that’s not a scalable business model and you can ask your doctor wife but Barney I mean I get it and I get that that’s the love thing being cultivated generated so I think I don’t know whether I consider that good pressure bad press for modern Neo Tantra or what not but I’d love to have them on the podcast I’m sure it’s going to happen and I can’t say that I was a fan of the art form of Barney the purple dinosaur but but but I would love to get to the full story and also talked about the ethics and this medical the medical duty of care that comes with sexual and pinch of intercourse with anybody so anyway that’s the sad but who were talking about okay what if you were intrigued and maybe turned on by me talking about these erotic circuit boards then you also have to be somewhat red-flagged and starting to cringe and go where how old is this get arranged in what are the incentives and how do you how do you manage the Eagles and how do you who’s in charge it’s like you can’t it’s a scary thing but you wouldn’t work but that’s why when I went when I say what I realized for me the aha moment in my sexual career was that if I want to have out-of-the-box sex I have to pay lots of money for it from professionals who have trained her nervous system to do theater performance of sexuality as escorts or as Dom’s or as porn performers because they’re good sports they’re not spoil Sports about any of the stuff for the most part if they’re treated well and respected and then contracts are here too and they know what they’re getting into and hopefully they’ve matured and hopefully their brain has developed to its full capacity IE the age that it takes to actually I don’t say that to you exactly so you better know there’s a dimension of Ethics when it comes to harvesting teenagers for your for whatever Annette and I have had some of the best sex in my life as a 30 year old being fucked up fucked senseless by teenager in a row in a monogamous relationship and I will I will tell you that it’s it some it was worth the daddy issues that I had to deal with it was worth reparenting her and it was worth every bit of emotional kind of awkwardness that there wasn’t some of the an Amex because she was such a good full spirited Prime late night it was funny cuz I was like I want to settle you down and basically like I could teach your making a kid with ADHD sit in class is like no she wants to fuck wildly she wants you to perform more than you possibly ever could even at 30 and and she and she is not she doesn’t need these esoteric practices too heavy multi-orgasmic she’s fucking coming or brains out like so hard and I and I couldn’t sit her down the aisle still enough to do any of the practices that I thought were going to be so enlightening and went in the great thing is is it a fuck it like it is certain point you just say no guru there’s a song about it’s like no guru no no scripture No play just in the Dow of the thing so anyway so that’s a side note to say there is a sacred place for adult for fully mature brain develop adults to be having sex with teenagers and and I know that it can be done because I’ve done it but it also takes you can’t just treat them like a commodity please you got to you got to think about pedagogy Nikki learned from the person that you’re teaching teaches you things to like a circle so then so we’re talking about these ethics and where I wanted to just close that point about how I do my best to not be a cult leader I thought I figured it out pretty simply and correct me if I’m wrong but basically it’s it’s I dare you to to indict me for the the criminal and civil liability of misconduct for for for structuring a certain way so this is how I this is this is very simple as this is like this I said that this is a different the difference from a cult leader is that I’m a porn director I pay women to be directed and then I pay whoever I want to I will I will I will choose performers who I resonate with for whatever we would like to do together to make beautiful art and and I will compensate them and pay them to take time out of their lives to be a part of my design and to be directed by me they’re not paying me for healing for enlightenment for direction for guidance and I’m directing them and Meghan gratifying myself and taking their money in convincing mind fucking them and taking more of their money and more than money until they don’t talk to their friends because of and that’s how Colts are basically extractive from their students the colors are extracting from their devotees the difference is how many colors do you know that actually give their devotees money I will pay you oh now I’m making corned a porn director and I am more karmically correct than the fucking Guru who is fucking having people kiss his feet and take your money so who would have thought that the corn directors were the most enlightening Yogi’s to ever attempt to be divine and I have my favorites and I’m a fan of some of them I want I want to see the names but right now but that cuz I wouldn’t want to leave any out you know what I mean bless you all for paying people to direct them into your Twisted fucking fantasies and giving them that dignity like hats of their not wondering about it cuz there’s that was having a conversation today it’s like a buyer’s remorse if I say to you I’m just saying if you remember when you had to if you were old enough to know that there was a day when when when your allowance equals one CD for $15 so humorous if you never had experience this is important I think this is important teaching is important teachable moment is that is that and I don’t want to be today. Take care no man’s planning anything in them to have fun here but this is like this is this is late so here’s the funny thing though you think about I remember what it was like when I had to convince myself that amusing that a CD that fucking sucked was actually good because I paid money for it and I would not let myself suffer the indignity of having made a mistake so I was in a state of denial and delusion so so so feeling this isn’t meditation okay everybody think of something that you paid money for that you discovered was in the zoo is suboptimal and you used mental gymnastics to convince yourself that you actually liked it even though you knew deeply that you didn’t like it but it was called buyer’s remorse it was called the sunk cost fallacy of sunk cost fallacy is that because you invested something into this you have to continue beyond the point of no return because you can’t live with yourself other ways so that is this Twisted perverse placebo effect that happens when it’s like I went to the sex guru to get healed and he said for 9999 I would get here and but I but I could also upsell to the bonus extra double healing deluxe super Cosmic Crystal trademark excetera right thing and try before you buy money back guarantee accessories that you’re all of his legal he’s in fine print all the stuff but there is but that’s where it is we’re expecting to have some result that you paid money for and you will question whether or not okay did I was a hole in my heel did I pay enough money to pay more and some money and it is it distorts things and you did it it did contaminated in a way for that so I’m skeptical that I can be done right in that sense and that’s just me so what I say let’s work in the garden together my time equals your time and now we’re planting trees equals an hour of Yoni massage your prostate massage and therefore it’s a flat equal everybody has the same it’s his first come first serve you know and orgasms for work shirts that was my hand jobs for Humanity and helping a tree with two or so you’ll see it yeah it’s a white paper was written so is he ever gets faster so so that’s how I’m not going to be a cult leader is that I’m not going to charge people money to be Pawns in my game of or are you going to be players in my Game of Thrones Township Township twister you will get paid handsomely to be in my theater my game of Township twister and you can quit you can get any time you know that’s that’s that’s the thing to you won’t be like oh if I walk away now you know that then where I’m not like what I paid for I’m I’m already invested so much forever so so many different dynamics of of incentivization happening in this thing is so anyway that that was I think it is important to lay that out and and this is probably the first time I’ve articulated it on the podcast but I just was having this conversation today with this answer the CD metaphor thing where it’s like you know it did that it’s it’s a problem that way so so that’s I will not be extracting money from people in that in that way I’d rather pay them to be in my in my Productions and feel better about it that way so getting back to the fun stuff in the production itself so imagining that that would be the way from now on where I’m like if you want to that’s basically what I just described about that circuit of three people as a minimum to starting point is like that is the that is first base now you know that’s first base because getting into the circuitry of actual intercourse that’s where it required that’s where we get into the medical the medical responsibilities aspects and we get into more of the karmic sharing we’re really swapping scum he’s on an astral level at that point more so than if it’s an outercourse thing and you can’t go back once you know I don’t want to sound like a prepaid only sound like a six- future but but they were right about this mean you’re not wrong about everything they’ve had no sex for anybody ever. Is not the solution to people having sexually transmitted demons running rampant all over the place and it’s about making them your friends and making them work for you not against you and making them expose themselves properly and in you know where it’s not a pure realm we are not going to be perfectly protected in fear we can strive for that and we can use Kundalini and Prana and mantras and all of our medicines in purgatives and things to create a cleaner vessel to make more harmonious more resonance more signal-to-noise ratio and that is what to me this is all about and why we are missing out so badly to not be like I see this if God is wanted you got it for not created to nipples I can’t suck both nipples at the same time I tried some women I can do it on I’ve done it and you can do it some women is possible but for the most part so what does that mean what are you do do you limit God or do you just find someone else to be on the left or right side of you you know what is the big deal so when I think about this math equation how many erotic how many out of the box meaning not really the selective like subjective nuanced little erogenous zones that people get overtime in our lives but the out-of-the-box everybody is wired this way count how many erogenous zones you have and how what is the minimum number of mouse penis and genitals or fingers are human appendages required to simultaneously stimulate all those places it’s more than one person I can tell you that much you know so I just want us to start there and be creative in 2N to learn how to understand that we’re missing out and we should be wanting to gamify maximizing human potential for orgasmic pleasure because that is exorcism orgasm equals exorcism in some cultures who are Les Les Mis Sara Lee poetic about the floury discourse of symbols about sex life like a Latin American Shaman is said about her sexuality in the end in her how she explained why monogamous marriage was not really a thing in a culture that permitted extramarital sex and it was that in her mind and I am not going to say her name to cool her but I will say to paraphrase the essence of this wisdom is that to her mind it was just like an orgasm is like taking out the trash and that is not that’s not to say that it is mundane or a chore it is that it is a responsibility of hygiene in your household of your body Temple you need to have orgasms they need to be fulfilling need to get the job done and that is the exorcism aspect of it so the howling screeching all of these things that are considered that witches were burned forming figli sounds that those are the sounds of actual Holiness the set of holy the sound of Holiness is a woman’s orgasm and so let’s make those come more abundantly and let’s utilize map map the erogenous zones out of the box and then map the additional ones that are my favorite song and when you talk to me like this and this certain place I’m in the back of my head there whatever and then everyone has their own map so we can learn each other’s maps and if you don’t know your own map then you can ask people to help you there’s people who would love to lick and kiss and touch you and head to toe to find and explore you and and from a breasted state of consciousness D nice and yes I like to will you bring out the best in me that’s all I think that’s all you guys add that I can’t top that is the way to end so then really that was we didn’t even know that we put the icing on the motherfuking cake by saying you bring out the Best in Me so there was a documentary about at the peak of my desire to become a a rock star in the the crust Punk metal genre grindcore all that fun stuff I was studying that I wanted to understand and clock the music industry so I was watching every documentary I could find understanding music marketing and all the stuff and then I found this great documentary about about Jimi Hendrix and and I believe it was his fiance at a time who later became his wife if I remember correctly and she was talking about the time where he was building momentum and getting lots of gigs but still underground and she said something that stuck with me forever and if this moment which is it basically the hidden tension was used turn Express yeah we we all knew he was going to get sign or we all knew that you was going to take off he was going to blow up and so she said it was just about if someone puts put the icing on the motherfuking cake you know and I know and I felt that we we’re ready for that and we did some we had some we had some ice and get put on a motherfuking cake we did you get you always want more but I look back and I don’t think we could handle more so we got what we got and now I’m on a different I have a different cake I have a different cake mix and I don’t know if it’s that time I don’t know if it’s time to put the icing on the cake or not yeah I don’t know I mean the cake it’s getting cold she heard it mean if you’d if anyone has icing out there can it please be stevia-sweetened go Steven Johnson I don’t know how to hack them will work on that today I know it’s actually what I heard is that it’s a weird additive that they used to cut it because it’s so super sweet that you would basically died of sweetness if you didn’t like the step on it with some other things so I think that’s why I love growing Stevia and having a leaf to munch on and put in the tea because then you know is nothing else being put into it and it’s just as powerful you don’t really need to if you had the the live leaves one leaf enough will be enough to knock your head off for an hour so yeah I know on that snow yeah we’re going to put this devious fresh leave puree motherfuking icing on the cake I will put the icing on my own motherfuking cake that reminds me in 1 minute I just when I thought we couldn’t go out with a bigger bang this is going to be at because there was a a ritual ceremonial I called we called apart emoni where was the Psychedelic birthday party and we smeared cake all over each other and had to basically devour for the birthday gal of her own cake and it was just nipples and asses and I wanted to be in after from there I was my breasts Elsa. Playing for sure that brother and brother best me for sure but that when I got to put the icing on cake my damn self so don’t let anyone fucking tell you that you’re not none of me if you feel like it I mean I think we’re done I just can’t I’m going to fucking drop my phone right now when I might drop my phone on the couch citizen of the count but oh shit it’s next level add icy Cipher geise that’s going to have some cake with that icing okay thank you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.drudgereport.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and if you want a podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been at Tantra Punk. Com Thomas Day