In this episode I’m joined again by my dear beloved soul bro of more than two decades, Wilhelm Cortez. (Listen to our first episode here) We’ve both been working hard in collaboration on overhauling and editing the manuscript for my forthcoming first book entitled: “Psychedelic Goddess Worship: Erotic Memoirs from the Astral Battlefield”.
I thought it would be fun and engaging to give a bit of a “behind the book” commentary so we could both compare notes and commiserate on the arduous process of co-creating hopefully a potential modern epic.
We discuss the backstory of how our personal life journeys have intertwined throughout the years going back to the old days in the Portland Gutter Punx scene and the forest defense encampments, then we give an overview of the events leading up to his encouragement and editorial role for my articles on the Good Men Project website, then we cover the events leading up to the formation of the Connection Victory publishing company. This leads to our dialog about the inner-workings of the book editing process, discovering emergent properties hidden between the lines, getting stuck and unstuck, converting an otherwise dry pseudo-scientific pseudo-academic tome, into a sci-fi-esque romance novel, and much more.
It has and will continue to be a great honor to have his expertise and wisdom informing and guiding the project in ways I could never have imagined. It’s a trip how the book is a sort of living creature filled with its own paradoxical angels and demons. We discuss how since Wilhelm has been involved, he has in different ways become both entangled and liberated through the process.
We’re looking forward to an official release later this year, stay tuned!!!
Please connect with Wilhelm via email at: globalnomadway (at) gmail (dot) com
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear beloved smoke Natasha Punk podcast episode number 187 I am here again with Wilhelm Cortez and we’re going to talk about the evolution of our unique and beautiful co-creative relationship through various are writing initiatives that he got me on board with writing for the good men project a number of years ago now and we have a personal back story that we discussed more in previous episode that we did so we had originally done a podcast together episode number 81 the good men project with exact editor Wilhelm Cortez and in that episode you can hear more about our background meeting up in Portland in the days of the Portland gutter punks and and also hanging out in the forest and just being a part of Northwest good old American Street Punk Eco Punk activism in the Northwest and and his journeys in travels and how we we kind of read and we’ve together in various the very Point sometime just kind of a soul Brotherhood that has really blossomed now in the present moment as he’s not only be at me he has become my my dream copyright editor you know of that had not had anyone in my life be supported of my work in that way and it’s always just been me kind of winging it and I have I wouldn’t say I’m a prolific writer but I wrote a column for the profane existence anarcho-punk magazine and you know I’ve always just wrote zeins and Roll lyrics and wrote pretty profusely just in my own my own life I guess I would say that I I do this prior to eventually be an author but the impetus to really do that didn’t come together for me until just the last I guess the last few years that I’ve been in in the zone of actually producing a manuscript that is a I buy a biographical almost science fiction sort of Epic that is titled now psychedelic goddess worship erotic Memoirs from the astral Battlefield and so it really encapsulates and depicts a lot of the journey that I’ve been on that various podcast previous podcast have brought on characters from my life story that are in the book by fictitious names it’s it’s it’s it’s it is really the the text formatting of of all the videos I’ve been doing and in Black post and what not and who better to actually be the one to help me organize and make sense of all of this material than the man my dear friend here it’s already been editing articles that I have been writing for the good men project website so there there’s just been a again this this interweaving of synchronicity that’s brought us together in various contexts and couldn’t ask for a better and more blessed experience of having the help and support I need to do it every crazy maniac creative artist author type person writer whatever they need somebody to actually bring things down to earth on occasion and sort things out and really be a soundboard and so this is my first experience of having that level of care and concern for my life story and it’s pretty much just been me trying to make sense of things on my own and sometimes having the state intervene or like the mental health system intervene and trying to help me sort things out you know little bit of families and lovers here and there but this is a real gift to have somebody to help me with the cat all this madness and all this material and and make it into something that hopefully will will touch the soul of humanity and heal the soul of humanity to especially for those who can commiserate and have been to various you know similar forms of them no trauma and whatnot so that is just sort of to orient this conversation what I love to do when we get into the sort of body of this is to First bring have Wilhelm bring us up to speed on on his sort of perspective his narrative on what it’s been like to interact with me and get to this point in this process and then we’re going to get into really the bitter the behind the pages if you will on where we’re at in the editing process of this manuscript and and some of the I would call it these beautiful emergent properties of of two heads being better than one on trying to understand how to frame this material and get into some of the bloopers probably and it’s just some of the everything you did you’d come to love about it like a movie director producer commentary bonus feature that’s my that’s my goal is to have that that affect your even though the book is is not yet out when it is when it comes out this will be a nice can into to enjoy it with so with all that said well I’m thank you for being with my intro and thank you for being here and how are you doing what’s new with what’s happening was a very gracious introduction and I thank you for that and also as you mentioned since the book still isn’t out and we’re still really kind of in the middle of the chaos storm of editing this thing it’s also I see it as a challenge to continue on with it because it is been quite a bit of a journey and it all kind of started with the seats Mew no looking back at the first article that you published with the good men project these little things are more valuable than oil where to go and talk to you about the environment and and basically seeds and keeping not and how that all works together really that’s where we started off and it was kind of funny I was scanning through the articles that you did for championship and the way but we really go up to where I think you really wanted to be talkin about the whole time which was you know how to how to survive and how does she feel and how to give back and that’s really what we see and you know we had our little you know not really problems or anything along the way but you know if you’re familiar with the good men project you trying to cross the border but we also we have a very very PG-13 rating and the first draft of how to make love like a god editorial staff at the time but you know working through it we we discovered a lot we discovered a lot more about the the emotive core beyond the physical and how to really talk about in a dress. And I really feel like the work on that article kind of kicked off the creative literary relationship between us this really you know putting it back for those of you go back and listen to the previous podcast in the Back store is really the mature Asian of this journey we’ve been on through various different weird intersections in our lives that kind of brought it together so that brings it up to that day when you asked me you know hey I was putting together all this stuff for a storage at the science fiction and about this Tantra and scalene inbox as you said in about an about more and I was just like what is this Beastie is creative Sprouts sourcing editing for it and I’m like oh you’ve got like getting now we’re getting entered like dimensional in the complex that he’s here that’s when I was just kind of like will send me what you got and you did and when I started to go through it it was like oh okay deep breath this is the story this is the one that you’ve been alluding to you been talkin about and caulking around and then all your other work was working towards you know and actually get in getting it all laid out but the first presentation basically that you gave me was really readable and interesting for an archivist doing research on recovery and healing from trauma but for an audience that is a lot more than that and that actually need that healing process support cuz we know like within the society that has been constructed based off of the oppression and abuse of so many different demographics you know this is what I’ll try not to get too distracted talking about like ecofeminism and all of the connections that we have. But I think it to put it in a really lame in an easier one package has one of the phrase I used with you when we were talking about what we were going to do with all this material that you would collect it together all this material that you had compiled all of these notebooks that he would process all of these transcripts all of this words what are we going to do with it and it was like I saw the power in the story as being a power and that you know it’s like the popularity of something like Fifty Shades of Grey which is like really problematic on so many levels like you know like relationship-wise socialize abuse wise oppression wise and for me is an editor like you know how to get the story across indicative through and that what we actually had the potential for was the type of story that the kind of as interest it’s like people like and watch and he read about and participate in sexual intercourse and this is a good healthy and presenting it in a good healthy way is that Rod wood to dry in. Kind of leadership wants to have that in their literature or in their imagination to deliver it in a way that is healing and uplifting that was kind of worried you know I watched off and it was like another one of those happy you know synchronicities coincidences designs plans people just randomly having things happen things had worked out through another executive editor at the good men project Lisa blocker who I worked with quite closely for about 2 or 3 years and in that time we started developing this idea of a publishing company and to get out ideas about social justice ethics gender and sexuality spirituality mental health to get exposure for writers who don’t necessarily have the resources to put it all together because it’s doing publishing it’s like you may have the best but how are you going to deliver to your readers if you have so many more steps so what we have with connection Victory publishing is promote these ideas as well as these writers that we have a connection with the are part of our you know our society are social family part of our community wise man so that’s when I pitched the idea to you that I’m about like a you know how about if we do this book and we take the Sun and I was stoked because what could be more what could be a bigger honor than to be under the wings of to Powerhouse editors from the good men project that means more to me on a personal and spiritual level let alone a professional and resume sore level than if I was to go with or seek out or just send the manuscript out and just have whoever was the highest bidder or something you know be for me to be just in that Machinery I like your saying too if I was at going up going about the route I’m just saying I’m have my friend my friend who flips houses gave me this great little bit of wisdom very kind of Dallas kind of things do they say they said that because it will be out there they’re flipping houses this is little bit of side note but it’ll it ties him in a good way it says they were after flipping houses which means they’re out there and they’re already very wealthy but they want to hang onto as much Capital as they can so they they will actually do a lot of the manual labor themselves you know scraping off paint pouring concrete and doing the tiles and tearing out carpets and all that stuff they would just as a family they would get together and it would sort of swap out rules to to flip houses and do all that and but they didn’t have to they could have paid someone to do it but they kind of wanted to just keep it in-house a bit but they said they had this bit of wisdom amongst them that they share with me what she said they said if you start to get the fuckits it’s expecting you you had enough doing some tasks in your about to start your feeling the temptation to cut corners and just get it over with I say stop stop when you get the fuckits and go do something else and come back another day when you’re refreshed and ready to do it right and I had I had gotten to the point where I didn’t I was not integrating that was them and I had had the fuckits with this process and that’s why I said I wanted to just crowdsource the editing and just say alright I’m letting the I’m letting the community steer this ship and it like it could be a Wikipedia have its own website which is a Wiki and people could do a fact checking and correcting and grammatical stuff and I’m just going to like going to go meditate in the mountains or something but it was a sweet deal to have you and have all this come together and for me to say okay this is I was like I guess I wasn’t probably going to go after some other Publishers and go through that process or tonight and I wasn’t going to raise do it I wasn’t going to do I get a Kickstarter or something for it cuz I just don’t have that that Network to leverage your Liam pretty much an itch with an itch so so it’s been a huge gift to have the the the gamble the business Gamble and the professional Gambler love that hoodie that you I feel like you are betting on me and I want to do my best to be a winning bet for for the Enterprise and for the reputation and everything so it is it’s also like a reason for me to be at an upright Citizen and M2 now we’re sort of in a reputational report as well and end with the good men project that’s a huge I don’t want to say burden for me to self remaining you know in the light of the light be reputable and and make sure that my path is is impeccable to certain standards and so it’s it’s a hopefully I am I can I will sustain that and and yeah it’s it’s an I guess I just want to make that point that there’s something beautiful about there being a friendship involved in this editing process that deep friendship and Anna and that ability to go through the sort of push back and the pull back and all of that which gets into the the the compromise of the actual and in the process I couldn’t imagine going I couldn’t imagine being in some cold sterile lifeless Dynamic with under a contract where you just want to let you know I’m sure I know a lot of authors go through that or a lot of creative people just go through as well and someone else has some Authority there the process like what’s the title going to be with the cover are going to be and it’s going to be it’s just been a very very nice homey welcoming process working together so far and and yeah I think that that that’s a good a good rap on the sort of the form of this of this process now if you want to get into the content and I am really I love for you to start to start us off with that and I’m I will come in with them with some thoughts about how really you saved my life in this process you’ll probably count you’ll probably introduce it for us but if not I will all follow up with it so it’s oh yeah what would you say now about the your perspective on after we ain’t the deal in in in your Yugioh you’re you’re now incentivized with with the under your under under your relationship with the company you know you’re incentivized to do this as and now we’re now we’re Partners right we’re now and now we’re Partners more so than before and so so you’ve got it you’re digging in and was being of the socket and capricci not too late and you know throwing that causing you to throw it out to this idea of when you presented it to me I was like this Echo back to the forest it was like she’s going to try to do editing by consensus in a group and it’s like you remember how that would usually turn out it would usually the people saying fucking walking away from the meeting story it’s like we’ve got to figure something else out with it and this will you know you remember when I read through and was looking at it we were trying to figure out what is really the story we have here because as it was presented a common thing that you know any writer does especially when they’re drafting something is we have this tendency to fall back on the front of logical trying to be autobiographical it’s like you’ve got the order of events in the order they happened to your head because you lift and so when you start to write on your right or that way and especially for the Contemporary audience it’s like it just really isn’t compelling to read send you out in the layer that you know there’s a lot of the chronology of this story before you get to anything that is kind of a feel-good moment and so thinking about the reader in my it’s like I was like all right we need to do something from the story a beginning part that is compelling the makes sense that has a vehicle to tell the story through maybe so that we don’t have to like try to Drudge through all of this really heavy dark demonic schitt’s until we get to the end of the book when everything’s resolved because contemporary readers aren’t going to do that so that was really the first layer yes and then so you can see how you can you use skillfully set this up so I can introduce that what it was that that evolved into the solution to that conundrum and and it was the way that you were able to really get me woke about the situation I didn’t put up much of a fight at that moment cuz I knew you’re a hundred percent right and it wasn’t hard to convince me at that point because literally in the manuscript I gave you the sort of prologue or the sort of preface was that it was actually a warning to say you’re you’re going to you really have to be I don’t remember exactly exact words it was totally there the least inviting yeah I like abandon all hope ye who enter something kind of think so and it and really I would have to have I would have to be a rockstar or some other form of established sensation for four people to to actually break that seal and go through it on her own but if there’s a given where it where I’m at right now you know I don’t have and I had thought about that too unlike you know this is probably something I will publish for a lot of reasons I’ll wait until my dying day whenever that is to sign some authorization for this to be released and I had thought about how well there’s people who were alive who are referencing the story and it’s not going to take you no more than putting two and two together you know to match people and places and what not and of course you have to have for legal reasons keep it a fictitious Encompass the ticket fictitious names but you know but I’ve I’ve lost a bit of sleep wondering how certain people will will react to how they’re involved in in the in the story I feel like I’ve done my best to try to make everyone involved have some sort of some sort of a dental qualities or what not but but that I guess it’s another story but getting getting into that that that critical moment of every frame at at the beginning and end what you told me about making it you know accessible to read making it actually it has to be enjoyable even if it’s disgusting and it has to be so otherwise like you said and I got that immediately as well as if you want to create something that people if you want to create a material that can be published in a peer-reviewed journal of academics who want to study sexology or paranormal psychology for a second science or whatever then I’m sure you could present I could presented a conference and say that this is my research and here’s my crazy manuscript that’s 400 pages and transcription and all of his chronology but for it to be a novel or have that that scalability in the culture it certainly there’s enough love there’s enough ice to I think I remember hearing recently somewhere that I think on IMDb or something like that a Shawshank Redemption is still one of the most on something by some Metric Shawshank Redemption is considered still the most worshipped movie ever and I can’t say that’s box office sales of some other metric but that is not a particularly there’s no wet there’s almost no women in the movie there’s almost no romance in that movie it’s a bunch of guys in prison raping each other beating each other and try and in trying to escape from the most heinous abusive abusive Authority but it is the Redemption of hacking the system and figuring out how to find your soul and find what matters in and I even believe in from antonchak sense there’s a moment where the Shakti energy is comes through the speakers when he had when he breaks that he gets the record and he locks himself in that they’re the PA room and he plays the opera singers out you know that that’s the goddess right there so if that story can do what it did and that was a Stephen King story and then made into a movie and all that thing but it has to have that a certain Cadence in a certain flow and in in a certain mystery for people to have to put in meat meat meat the story Halfway by having a Kinect dots and not having its food Fenton spoon-fed over the course of a chronology with all of this dance academic material so so the thing that I guess before I get or nah I’ll let you a personal say okay from now on when I say when we say the words we receive the letters mfp we are referring to Magic fucking pussy who is who was my Divine tantric dakini consort who really takes most of the credit for giving giving me the most blessed in the most Redemptive outcome that would that was that wasn’t suicide and it wasn’t deeper addiction and depression and just melt melt down and it really the the hero of the story that didn’t exist in the manuscript because a manuscript was just a telling of events up until right before I actually got involved with mfp in real life it was all just painful dark negative and then some some spiritual Revelations and some some spiritual insights about how these things all work and how trauma works and how abuse works or is how it functions I should say but but there was no payoff and there was no really beautiful romantic Redemption and that but but but that did actually in the manuscript I was I had not included the the what would have just been the next chapter in the chronology was like oh yeah and then I met this woman who totally like loved on me the way I needed to be loved on and vice versa and now you have that element of a beautiful enjoyable school and you were the Catalyst Wilhelm in this process of making me have an aha moment to say wait I do have a device and it’s not a contrived device it’s actually the most beautiful lakes in the pearl it is she has been and is and is in the story The did the did the Highlight the Pearl the trade however you want to do when a call is so I’m kind of fumbling now trying to put in contacts but I’d love to have for you to talk about how how we navigated that that sort of question mark of how to make it a story a really difficult rhinology Indian Redemption you’ve got that and what better way to make it more palatable than to make it a love story you know and that’s kind of where it’s funny because you are you and your listeners know of mfp me in my mind it’s j because that’s the character named you used to develop the love story that we needed to really tell this story and it was really like you going fast-forwarding through all of that story and realizing there was this anchor moment of the healing Journey where there was it was Mutual it was like Drew The Mentor in Bohemian came and it was like house flipping the whole thing around it’s instead of leaving Las Vegas word entry in Las Vegas right from the get-go we should never put her clothes back on I whispered after catching my breath you know and it’s like once that was there it was like okay now we have a way to really tell the story but it stopped perfect way that was already in coded in the story to begin with it was just a matter of writing it in it has been missed in the first few passes but it makes sense in the the process of compiling the story because going through and transcript going through court records going through Protective Services records going through cancer only through your old journals remembering the stories and writing them out and through all of that as well as having the emotional distance of the writer in transcribing all of this stuff in also once we unlock that box and discovered this the perfect element that was already there that’s when it’s like hey okay we just start not from the beginning of this life story of this drama we begin with the mentoring of the one who gave the healing that’s where my real story is and that’s where it’s funny because it’s like you know it’s it’s your life story but it’s her story right amazing yesterday at sunshine remember that I have a moment because you’re asking me the conversation was it would I we just have to come up with something to make the NIT really at night how could I have I guess the way the only logic that I could I could imagine I’m sure I was going to send you the time is it will but that’s that would be the second volume because right in that they can go to the vet that just that that that krinock chronological bias there’s not going to be a second volume to put it in so there’s another Cosmic giggle at work here which is at I just I’ve been binge-watching a lot of them making of movies behind the scenes could type of movies because of the the the dabbling and in film that I’m doing and and I just really are so many movies that have built me in that are in my heart and so I get almost the most pleasurable experiences that I have fully clothes I should stay or come from watching these behind the scenes and making-of documentaries and I just recently watched the movie Casino one of the one of the making of or behind the scenes documentaries on casino and and it’s totally timely to this conversation because Nicholas Pileggi who was the author producer screenwriter researcher and he he was the one who who mapped out all of the the historical chronological timeline of events that that are depicted in the film casino but in in the actual documentary he said it was he said you know I had all these if he had the history the history and there cannot chronology of events all laid out on paper but it was the magic of Scorsese who was able to make it into an entertaining film because he was able to mash it up and create all of these different constantly I mean this is this is just now I’m not trying to quote him anymore but this it was perfect timing that I saw that because that was exactly the crossroads that we were at really wrote where we’re at right now is because we still editorial past of you getting Jade written in to the story and then I know through that it unlocked other things that was like okay well they stop going to be in that in this needs to be and it’s like getting that all in but there was will be suctioned swear it was these long pieces of transcript these long pieces of fight notes from sessions and it was just like you know I would hit it going through Reading it was just like all four wheels in the butt smell like the story just comes to you know it’s like nobody’s nobody’s going to look down and they’re going to get distracted they’re going to check their like Twitter what I started to do is I was going through and I was like okay this opening part that we have this opening scene is really good but then it’s like it’s still was continuing on with that way kind of chronology for that whole scene and it’s like well this is our open like it really doesn’t fit well because it’s too much of the scene and it’s the beginning of the book and the reader doesn’t know why the hell they’re reading the book at all it’s like now yeah it sounds good it’s great but it’s like there’s no there’s no conflict there’s no nothing so we need to start generating that and then it was like okay so now I have to start looking at this as like four sections at a time you know because you sent me what is it about 50 sections that we’ve got and then I started to look at them four to five sections that are and it’s like what’s going on with this chunk of the story and how can we play around with it and rearrange it so that it’s more interesting more to tell him because we’ve got a few challenges going on here you know we’ve got what we talked about already about like the difficulty of the story in itself then creating the character which was there all the time in the story but realizing that it was actually her story that we needed to tell because that made it really interesting and then trying to cut and piece it together and then you know way back at the beginning you mentioned that it was kind of sci-fi kind of this kind of that and it’s like the reason it’s that kind of sci-fi is because the subject matter that we’re getting into we don’t really have the vocabulary or terminology to talk about accurately so that had to be created and borrow she had to be borrowed a little bit from it had to be borrowed a little bit from biology had to be borrowed from together and kind of breaking that story line up and kind of letting it just sort of fall into place and I don’t like that bouncing ball you know because what we started with what you experience with the reality of this story is in the two stories yours and hers that were telling within it is it was fucking chaotic as all hell the way the stories being told needs to be told that way I know on the street you experience in these orders but in the healing and the deconstruction and the analysis and the free packaging and the use of it it didn’t happen that way bread and for the 4th for it to be this is something that when I did my first feature film acting role very independent very low budget and but I have high hopes for it and it is also in the editing process now and that’s going to be who knows it could have it could be a non-event it could be a major event there certain the elements of it that I I’m I’m sworn to secrecy about it because it has a very novel plot architecture that it’s almost like a trade secret kind of NBA kind of thing right now so I can’t say much about it but I will say that I have I have been in a legitimate independent as as Bonafide as it gets an independent film and I have performed in that and in that in that process I was gleaning from the producer director of the film everything I possibly could about lighting about camera angles about setting up shots about everything that you know this cuz he’s a very accomplished very respected filmmaker and and of course I was taking all kinds of notes in the process and one of the things that I remember and I can say this you know what kind of big lie but when we were when when we were doing scenes where there was dialogue and I was supposed to not tell my story per se but basically create the story of the character for the for the introduction of the character to the people and I was I was instantly just buy my nature by my training I was basically giving in academic lecture mode trying to trying to give the the 101 the one or two there were two o one that and so in the way that I’ve always been trained to to deliver information and academically and it in a sequential sequential matter that everything goes on a self that you wouldn’t go to a college course and expect that okay everybody we’re going to just completely discombobulated the structure of the of the history of this field and I’m going to teach you all about what’s happening now and then throw in a little mysterious bits of the history of it so that you can be confused for like half the class and I just keep you confused the hope for half the class and then you’re going to get to the enjoyment and the pleasure and the glory of stitching it together in your own subconscious in your unconscious mind and your part of the time you’re going to be in your own Narrative of trying to sort things out but that’s the difference between between an academic narrative and entertainment narrative is that you were wanting in a neat so he would tell me when I was doing his like nose stopped you look you need to be more cryptic you need to give them leading sort of mysterious sort of my little bits and M and there and let them Stitch it all together from from I guess if you take that to the extreme you have keep the quintessential Pulp Fiction or Tarantino thing where there’s all these different fragments that are totally disconnected yeah yeah yeah not postmodernist deconstructed storyline which is definitely you know. Not only is an influence within the work they were working on but it needs to be there to be able to tell that good story and that’s kind of something that you know especially with my editorial work with connection Victory is when I go into edit I need to like major reconstructive surgery on this thing but the actual Aberdeen of the story in the word from the grammar the mechanics of How It’s put together is really light because I don’t want to change the author’s voice at all I want to find a way to cut it down so that it amplifies that voice and the best way to do that really has to do is send it like the author Reed’s through it after you’ve done in there like I don’t even know where you at changed anything unless they’re holding him up side-by-side now of course from what you originally handed me to what we’re going to end up with my wife dropped you know I eventually delivered to you when we’re done you’re definitely going to know that it’s my hope that you know as we work through it and get it up to you you know copy ready you’re still hearing your voice all through it and that is it kind of need this back to the fukkit which definitely is something I’ve had to watch and working on this piece because it is so in-depth and working five sections at a time you know and like when you start off with like you know entering Las Vegas Queen of the duck the gummies a goddess among Lenin corpse work event rape culture that’s my first five sections and so by the time you work through that it’s like you’re kind of feeling just a little tiny – a fuck it employs step away and you take a break and you go out and like you stick your hands in the soil especially when I reach the five sections that start with Lady Ayahuasca move through other sections and end with masturbating on acid and an ambulance that was definitely a moment I need to stop and take a break because in true that it’s like bees is distractions that writers will right themselves into to avoid from having to address realities with a story where we talked around the word we talk around it and so editorial it’s like all of that is it’s like on Menaul and this and that and that we use in hedging invoice to like trying to think and prepare we do that in writing especially when you’re writing like that so when we start to take that out and it starts there’s also I’m discovering within the story and put the potential for what you’re working on the kind of like kind of come out and it’s like when I was working on Section entitled fighting Ness Monsters it’s like and I’m working across five sections together and stitching fit trying to make people in all this and everything in it it’s time-consuming okay and there was a point when I’m going along and if you just put that idea in itself I’m not going to say anymore it gave me a really good idea for a story I’d like to develop itself so the things that come out from the lines I could have made a total Twilight Zone well I’m glad I’m actually I was going to ask you if you would be daring enough to out yourself for having had that the moment that that that you share with me about that cuz it is so telling and that in itself is that is is just takes and takes off on another tangent of another another story of like what and actually I had I did anchors me into want to say and I don’t know if I would have mentioned this but I definitely think it’s critical that I do is that I don’t wish I don’t think that was it when it when I had that that disclaimer in the beginning of this it was really sort of like what we would call in the modern parlance of of more conscious more evolved discourse that the whole notion of a trigger warning so it’s it’s almost like this the the haven’t you see sometimes on posts online no trigger warning all caps bold trigger for sale for me the the the scale of trigger warning that would have to be put on this like if there was a trigger warning security alert scale than this book would be off that scale because of how triggering it could be in so many ways and and and I can’t even account for the VA the notion that let’s say this is red a kind of feel like like I have the retention for having such a severe warning the beginning is that the way that I just feel like if you were not extreme Survivor on the edge of an existential crisis meltdown suicidal ideations this probably shouldn’t be on your shelf next to Catcher in the Rye and Of Mice and Men and wakesetter this this is an extreme piece of work that that I want to I want it to be because I am somewhat afraid about the what what the side effects could be from even being exposed to this if it’s not necessary know you would rather in the words of Terence McKenna just whistle past the graveyard in life if you can possibly avoid going to these territories and so there’s that tension and needs to be I don’t know what the effect will be in the fact that you had that experience is Testament testimony shift for myself in it is the first it’s like yeah yeah that’s why I need to be told and yeah as far as you know trigger warning this time everything you know there’s that little back blur that goes on the back of the book you know that gives you the brief rundown or it’s on the inside flaps of the Dust jacket if it’s hard bound with the cover and everything like that it’s like that’s where that’s really what the trigger warning is it’s like if you look at any book it gives you that basic breakdown of the story you’re going to be reading so you know that’s where we put the trigger warning without having a trigger warning the other aspect of it is kind of a little bit of the story itself is the by editing we are banishing the demons that were in coded into a true writing so that’s another perspective on it but this whole idea of like hearing that voice behind me saying you know a week and just didn’t you get this. All right now that’s really it’s coming from when I’m editing I’m editing and free Minds the first mind is the mind of the editor and I’m looking at compelling story proper grammar all of that artifice mechanics structure then I’m also looking and thinking and reading it from the mind of the reader you know the reader has no idea about the story and what’s to come or what’s gone into it or where it’s come from they’re just taking it at face value then I’m reading from the mind of the writer the author in their voice where they’re coming from so I think that’s really like you know what the the depth in the intensity of the story and then reading with all three of those mines through all of this it’s not really surprised you know I was having. Like you know at that point in the story The Mention Of going and you know doing some speed to get the story done it wasn’t no wonder that you know it’s like I’m I’ll be 50 this year I’m not getting on any skateboard but I’m cut that itch to get back on the board and steel. fastest around me and everything and it’s it’s due to be a versus nature of the editing and it’s also a testament to the quality of the writing storytelling well well I have to say that the character situation I think that if that wasn’t that the moment that I that I have the epiphany of what I had to do I mean it’s been my intention to be like okay if I wouldn’t wish I always say I don’t wish reading this book on my worst enemy but I have to I have to impose it upon Humanity because if I don’t impose this then everything that’s in there that is the evil dark side of the force is going to impose itself without resistance so it’s kind of like you know when it goes back to something I said when I was first starting to just come out about any of this stuff to anybody I I said I said dissemble a friend at one point is if you know what I don’t think I want to tell my story because I feel like I’m I’m the turd in the punch bowl and I am and they said no dude don’t worry about it you’re the punch in the turbo that’s perfect so on that note that the punching that your balls the hearing about you got your experience with this I said okay I’m going to break off break out some of my Bitcoin Holdings and sell it off and get you booked on a session with my one of my Tantra can the initiate Rick’s is Rhoda Jordan for a personal contract counseling session to sort of massage your shoulders a bit while you’re in the ring fighting with this material and you don’t know no no pressure to to to give her a call it like a you mean like her compassion bleeding through that was so embracing that I could just float away on I don’t have to say anything full disclosure we are not being a we’re not we’re not an infomercial but anything you know you like to say that is just factual from experience about that just so people know hey look I want I want I want Wilhelm to be very very supported this process because and I should say before you before you do share we like to share I will put this in context to my own my own journey of actually writing this and I say this a lot I say I make this and make this point to people when I give them advice when they’re having a Dark Night of the soul and they feel like they’re being attacked by everything inside of them everything outside of them is a look when you when you I said make this analogy to let’s say if you were in that you know a Nazi concentration camp right and you figured I would say you were going to not sit just bear with me for a moment here but if you were in a Nazi concentration camp and you were able to discover some weakness in the facility so that you could actually start to carve your way out or start to have an escape plan or start to somehow get Leverage get an upper hand the moment that you become the moment that you set off that that alarm or set off that awareness in your captors in the guards who are keeping him holding you captive as soon as they know that you have an upper hand that you have some form of intelligence or some form of power that could be that could be used to organize other people or two could be used to create a a Revolt or somehow Break Free that’s when at that moment of their discovery of your upper hand or your potential power that’s when they go after you and they’ve date they they gang up on you and they start to put their more sophisticated officers on you to watch you or to surveil you are too for you or to destroy you so there is this what I would call a joint with this term like that the shamans dilemma I guess if you will was like if you if you start with z sting these entities these forces demons Paris the trans-dimensional parasitic organisms whatever you want to call them after this the purpose of the Sci-Fi that we’re dealing with there is this sort of effect that is if you were to just remain silent and go through the motions and keep your head down and in and make no no obvious claims that you have the way the means to defeat them then they won’t they won’t really attack you that much they will just slowly mind you and slowly extract from you and slowly destroy you but it’s when you stand up and you speak out and you come out and you start to organize and you become a threat to their their order and that’s when all hell breaks loose and they start coming after you even even more so that that all of that is to say that this story as an act of resistance against evil it is going to as gets exposure on any level as I shared on any level it’s going there they are over there in their realm and their Dimension and they are like the Goblin King in Labyrinth are there creating their tactical strategies to mitigate this risk and that is a real a real tangible real if you dare to to believe that that there is an intelligent force of evil working against forces of good then then it’s then it’s reasonable not just to assume that but actually and I can say for my experience like when I was writing this the bulk of it when I was given a grant basically I should say kind of going jumping back in time going at a at a chronology here going back to the year 2014 I spent pretty much the whole year spending of a small but life-changing Grant so that I could focus on actually writing out and doing all of that that book material transcript thing in NM and then going into the events in the past and and writing like what what resulted in four to five hundred Pages at the end of the year was time that I spent and and I was her rained during that process there was resistance against my Tervis counter-intelligence counter resistance against my prices are doing that and luckily in my my seeking of the pranic healing modality as which weaves into the story in a deep way the pranic healing modality I went to a a meet-up presentation and I got this pamphlet this little brochure that talked about the that what they call this therapeutic Clint aura-cleansing saltwater bath formula and they talked about using 4 cups of if you can get the Hamlet of a Himalayan salt more natural full source of the cell material and 4 cups of salt per bath and go into a bath and basically be in this the saline solution and according to their that the science of that modality you are doing the work of many healing sessions of many human healers doing energy healing work on you and purification work you can sort of replicate that effect by just being in salt water and having em so I made me think about what’s white Surfers orso’s in these entities are dissolved and they are inhibited and they are sort of blocked in in that when you were sick when your aura is immersed in a sit in a saltwater solution you have this this freedom and peace of mind and this this sort of votes like a barricade and I’m in and that was precious to me when I discovered that my immediately started doing it and as the Press during resistance of be trying to write this the scum he’s kind of like all over the keyboard all over my hands like pulling me out of the process I actually literally wrote the majority of this book in a bathtub with it with a nightstand that I was when I was in Lotus position in the bathtub leaning over to a nightstand obviously you want to take extreme precautions not to put any Electronics near water so I was in there steaming up the screen typing and and listen to psychedelic trance to keep me in this Cadence of flow and I was barreling through it but with as much of my body as I could submerged in saltwater and that actually like what would you say shit is short-circuited their connection if there was no ability for them to break through into me so if I knowing that I lived through that and I was like okay here editor take this with no disclosure no cabin in Torino Italy I I do I have worried and invented concerned about your well-being and where I was staying at it was at my sister’s and I was working on a stump out for and I’m so I had my hands in the dirt like every day for that would work on work on editing the book and then I would go get my fingers in the dirt and I’ll get my fingers to the church and then I would go and I got to caution you you want to wash your hands and dry them before working in electronic devices after doing the butt that was a big part and I’m not it was a very simple very basic session but it was getting that connection with somebody else who wasn’t directly involved in the story but knew the story and was part of the healing journey of that story and it was so like in the story but you know in in other ways and so to have the and also to to make that connection so the moving for removing through the rest of the word moving through all of these things that you had to short-circuit them take him through knowing that if if there’s any any oddness that starts to pop up you know I’ve got that person who is not connected to the story that I could reach out to and that was I really thought it belonged my canker safety-net Lifeline to have that knowledge into no okay if things start spiral I know this is where to go and that that once. Compassion Cloud will be there without having to really go into you know the specific details of the book in the afternoon cool well yeah and then end goddess blessed Rhoda and it brings a tear to my eye thinking about where where we have arrived at because in this conversation is really that the heroes are these goddess and bodied women who just seem to be so far beyond susceptibility to some of the other things that have brought down men in the picture and not from a place of love really I mean the empowered feminine in the form of Rhoda in the form of mfp and Jade and the it’s just so that’s the ultimate Redemption is is the the path of seeking the divine feminine and that’s in even even the even this gummies themselves like that’s all they really want to have they want the Gremlins want to be Maguey again you know they intended they’re just going to rip through everything until they find the means to be to be restored in tomorrow and let you know I’ve said it a few times without these women there would be no story for this book it wouldn’t eat I mean without intervention like with Rhoda without works like with Jade without development. Relationship without the understanding and. Desire to gain the knowledge in the openness to accept it and to go into the extreme this of it sure nothing other than like you no experience and to heal without all of that I mean not really sure like how old is story would have liked ended up coming out or if it would have ever came out you know so it really without that piece of the puzzle being unlocked and being not just put into the story but becoming the story we really wouldn’t have anything to work with and there’s a lot in that I am not just for you know your story getting out your book getting time me and like it in the oven in time connection Victory publishing the but all of that kind of secondary to the main reason which is getting this information out to people to not only kill those who have been too abused also to give the opportunity to heal the abusers that are out there as well so that we can finally move on to the next level of social amen totally agreed on that and I I I could only imagine how yeah how how beautiful or Dent if it would be for those who are abusers and who I could just imagine that this work it seems totally appropriate that this work be part of curricula that are used in psychiatric prisons in places that rehab centers in diversion programs where I know that they know really the when I was well I was doing the research for this book I had I had to purchase the stack of books that that I was using to help help me help inform my ability to frame the stuff and and of course I read the Dharma punx and Dharma punx to me felt like the the Noah Levine is the author and and he his past and his trajectory of coming from being a street Punk getting into having relationship dramas and and police story dramas and getting into spirituality and then betrayals within spirituality and then hitting bottom and getting into recovery and then becoming a mentor and teaching meditation in prisons and working with youth and that that Arc of a story as I read that book a nice and I really thought okay well this is the the model the president and if I did have to pitch the story to anybody and say how will you know Siri say where is this work before why should we gamble on this story well if we can make something as compelling and as as accessible as Dharma punx then it can be this recovery manual and it can be this introduction in men what are things that I would say that was was I don’t want to sale a king or left to be desired but I will say that to you know I’d love to meet Noah someday I have a an invitation to do a podcast that haven’t heard back I don’t know if the fetish if that’ll be in the cards hopefully it will but something that I think would be a beautiful healing thing for both of us as punks who came from the street and got into drugs and told her story and are now in service that that the anguish that he experienced in his love-life I believe this is the piece that I have I can I can be complementary to his work in the world and in through this hopefully we bring that we we we we really we take that uncooked that sort of festering uncooked sexuality piece that’s missing from a lot of spiritual paths or sort of confused and distorted and week we cook it and we marinate it and we have a feast and that Feast is a fully embodied fulshaw craeg here’s how we bring it all together and we really heal everybody soul and we make it acceptable to to talk about our desires and acceptable to talk about what we got to do to heal each other and to think out-of-the-box and decolonize the bedroom and figure out how to talk to really intelligently use the sexual energy to to heal ourselves and each other and integrate that in the spiritual practice so that’s just another another little tension Theory but I would say that I dare say that the success of the Dharma punx movement could lend itself as a sort of president to a tantra Punk movement and I don’t want to be the leader of that movement I just want to be the messenger and so the real leader is to me or Jade and Rhoda and the other and of course sufiyana who you will you read about and we didn’t even go there but I’ll let that be part of their the Cliffhanger for this conversation and we’ll wrap up where we’re bit over time so well I’m thank you thank you thank you so much this really it was even a million times more revelatory and Injustice and Redemptive for me to have this call with you now in this process and it really is is invigorating and hopefully we will get through all of the fuckits as they continue to come up and we will take plenty of saltwater baths and not take any meds spend our math money on Rodeo sessions so anything would you like to talk to wrap this up and how could people connect with you and hire you to do take their entire back an avocado to make it into something ya Lili ya thanks for having having me on the show and putting up with me rambling about the weirdness of the editing process because it does get kind of weird but it’s that’s part of the fun of it and yeah I navigating all this little buckets and people are interested can get a hold of me via email Global Nomad way at gmail.com is pretty easiest one I’m also like if you look at the Masthead the front page of the good men project. Com you’ll find my email it’s a man email address there as well and are working on a book on if an author is interested in that keep in mind it is not a short process to be done right and you know from really delivery of manuscript to final products you’re looking realistically about 3-4 years and you know the smoothest case scenario which rarely have outside of God Mom I also do work with helping to cultivate and develop individuals creativity and that’s it was a lot more fun for me and everyone else involved it’s not as much but it’s also can I throw a curveball to your Consciousness to unlock your creativity a little bit deeper so I have to add one thing of that which is that if it’s not me it’s somebody is going to make you a voice acting star and a narration star because damn if anyone listen to this and we’ll get better out of your quality but I think you have an amazing voice and it’s always just a pleasure to hear you speak I just on the sound wave vibrational level and the wisdom and the care in the thoughtfulness I know it’s it’s coming out in this process and I’m excited to enjoy the other works that you’ve done and through connection Victory and Beyond and please by all means go to the good men project support the project do you want to just maybe say one more thing about how we really need to support independent media journalism the real the real mess up that is disappearing day-by-day you know we know of print media is especially journalism newspapers it’s rare to find any more websites same thing it’s a very difficult unless you are Facebook or Google there’s money isn’t there to support it and keep it out there it’s like everybody’s always complain you know for a medium sized Media Company especially trying to grow it’s almost impossible to keep afloat and that is a precarious situation in the current socio-political climate and if you have a media company it doesn’t matter if it’s the good men project ravishly or your Tango or anything’s that is supported independent journalism especially things that are working and advocating the end of these oppressive systems that are making all these problems for us support them with your words share on social media like comment subscribe join register membership if you have lots of surplus cash laying around that you just don’t know what to do with it you were going to just throw it away out of just sheer frustration send it to these media companies they were the writers with it yeah and I also know that the more blessed I become and my finances the more I will be able to take care of you and and sponsored more or you going to need a lifetime supply you already earned a gold card from me as afforded insist going to be at me because this honestly and I guess this will be that this will be the last thing right now for me to say to close this is that from the time that that you received this manuscript to this very moment if this becomes successful there will be multiple sequels and follow-ups already so hopefully if there is a benefactor benefactors out there listen to this and you would like to facilitate this process being celebrated then by all means let’s talk because we could even structure some form of you know Angel investment type of strategy if you believe that there is that there’s Merit here because there’s more forthcoming and hopefully we can just let the hits keep on coming if if if they’re if it’s meant to be so thank you again I can’t thank you enough and hopefully I’d say the next time we do this it’ll probably be as a part of a campaign to lunch this much this book so yeah yeah we’ll see what happens next to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com can cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple that provides ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. 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