In this episode I’m joined by podcast listener Alexis Lane for an exploration of her journey of do-it-yourself erotic empowerment from massage therapy to female ejaculation and beyond!
Alexis currently lives in southern Virginia. Call center representative by day, Yoni Goddess by night, Alexis is passionate about exploring and awakening her own sacred sexuality. She firmly believes that more women realizing their own Sacred Sexuality and the Divine Feminine within will change the face of this world in a powerful way. She looks forward to sharing the knowledge she’s gained through her own research and explorations for the Collective growth and well being of our species and our planet.
My Non-Verbatim Show Notes:
AL: a little bit about me, 30 years old southern virginia, all kinds of jobs, call center rep day job, in my own personal life my own free time I’ve really been for the past 2 or 3 years called to really dive deep into my own personal growth, issues of self love, developing self love and self respect, manifested through getting in touch with own sexuality, past 2 or 3 years, really hands on with myself, getting into all of my issues on a sexual level, I really just experienced a lot of growth and changes that I’m really excited, see how those things are gonna take shape in the world, right now definitely got a lot of female or authorities on the feminine side, Grace Diaz, Kim Anami, so many more, did find your podcast through Grace Diaz’ channel, that’s how I came to hear your podcast, episode on squirting, really excited to share a lot of practical application hacks, excited to see what I can offer
ted talk, unleashing the female orgasm, she did that ted talk has wonderful channel great website, an authority, or mentor in female sacred sexuality, another one I do listen to a bit of layla martin, amber leitz, sharing her own experiences and coming from a lot of personal experiences
TP: massage therapy process?
AL: started out straight out of high school, wasn’t very hands on, my mother found a great school for me, different than traditional massage therapy school, most are up to a year, very condensed, found me a 2 year associates, at an actual college, did go and get associates in applied science along with massage therapy licensure, courses, did have anatomy, physiology, kinesiology, science of how the body moves, how different parts move in relationship to each other, neurology, physiology, practical application of massage portion as well, a large part of our day and classroom time, half of time we spent in class alone was hands on massage portion
wide variety of different modalities, introduced to different types and techniques, intro to energetic fields, reiki, zero point balancing, shiatsu, intro to tai chi, broad spectrum intro to all different components, that you could branch out into from massage therapy, probably got a wider, broader range of training, of course normal classes like english, math, statistics, electives, art, really got a wide range education there
at the time I went to school, I’m sure it’s changed now, it was required for you to have at least a 1000 hours of clinical or volunteer times, did have clinic on site, instructors ran, people from community, staff members, students, would come in
offered reduced priced massages for the sake of us getting practice, also traveled within the local area and we did marathons, chair massage for seniors, a lot of hands on, encouraged to trade with other therapists, did a lot of that with energy workers, a lot of hands on training, worked on and off as a massage therapist
TP: path towards sacred sexuality adventure?
AL: hadn’t always been outwardly sexual, been very reserved, any experiences or enjoyment kept very much to myself, probably about 2 or 3 years ago, getting on to this path, coming out of a really dry period, personal events, 2013-14 really cataclysmic, broke me down, didn’t destroy but came pretty damn close, shut down completely sexually, even for myself, for a good 3 or 4 years, there was nothing, didn’t self pleasure, nothing, didn’t watch porn, anyone even mentioned sex it made me extremely uncomfortable, then one day, I was on a porn site and was watching, it was a tutorial, more than a porn film, tutorial of how to make a woman ejaculate, it was called squirting, this guy broke it down in detail step by step, technique that you use, hands on demonstration, she definitely appeared to not just be ejaculating, you can do it with or without orgasm, she was doing with orgasms, her whole body got into it, almost seemed that she went into a trance or another world, spasming, glow on her face, light in her eyes, so much joy, looked like she was on another level of existence at that point, thinking to myself, what am I doing wrong, I want that, that was the turning point, can’t tell you how many times I rewatched that video, its been a journey from there
everything I’ve done since, a lot of things I’ve done
tips hacks, advice, for me its become a life style, do feel it’s gonna be a lifelong journey for me, some body starting out, have to start where you are, goes back to porn, there’s a wide variety of information that’s available to us at the touch of our finger tips, that ranges from good to more darker perspective, its really important first and foremost going into this type of work, spiritual work, my advice, to know you’re gonna have to user discernment with the information you find, barometer, compass, has been my own intuition, my own inner guidance, having to be able to go within yourself and check in to know whether something feels right for you, have to be able to feel, whether it’s gonna be expansive, or something that’s gonna cause you to contract and close down more, have to know own limits
lot of authorities on female sexuality that I listen to on the regular, not always everything they say resonates with me, try to pick and choose, sift and sort, simple as that
need to have respect for ourselves, not always easy, conditioned it so important to please that other person, when you’re going into this work, going hands on and intimate with yourself and another, have courage, enforce this for myself, make sure you have smooth ride, trust and respect yourself, in what you choose to do
advice geared towards women: a lot of the obstacles that I as a woman experienced to being able to have those deeper vaginal g-spot, orgasms, cervical, barrier to ejaculate, masculinly actively do, more about relaxing into, something that will just come out of you, kinda have to get out of your own way, learn how to relax into it, its innate, something you were born to do, remembering how to do it, reactivating your bodies ability to do it, if you’re not real good at relaxing, it’s a skill
really just to have fun with it, you don’t have to take anything too seriously, its supposed to be fun that’s what I’ve got as far as advice
TP: moisture resistant blanket?
AL: very organized, very type a, plans my life out to a T, I actually didn’t really do too much experimenting with squirting before I actually found a blanket, I had first really gotten introduced to the concept of female ejaculation through Grace Diaz channel, then the work, Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot, Debrah, I had always known of squirting, always known it was possible for some women, based on information I had gotten, only certain women could do, most women not capable, I found out no, something all women can do, unless had surgery or injury, innately all women able to do, more research, heard about this company, reading an article about celebrity, paparazzi, carrying up sex furniture, checked out their site, sex furniture, checked out the site, happened across this blanket, I had immediately I thought if I really get going, really open my waters, gush, squirt profusely, I want to protect myself, I have an expensive mattress, and don’t want to do lots of laundry, the exploration I did have wasn’t really too messy because I had starting out, had trouble getting my waters flowing
I would produce liquid, but not very much, kind of blessing, never had experience of ruining a mattress,
TP: has it proved sea worthy?
AL: potential this blanket has to improve lives, other things it could be used for, it is marketed as a sexual enhancing item actually there’s other things I use it for, I’ll get into that, since I’ve started I have been exploring my bodies own ability to ejaculate for about the last year an a half, big part, not having the muscular development to push the fluid out, regular use of yoni egg, I’m a huge fan of yoni eggs, they do come with their own guide book on contraindications and things you want to watch out for if you’re gonna use them as tools, probably the most integral tool I’ve used on my own journey, reactivating my ability to squirt or ejaculate, regular daily ongoing use of them, really just in my self pleasuring settings working with other tools, several g-spot tools, some work better than others, I’ve been able to steadily get to the point where I can produce more and more liquid, and to the point where its not so hard for me to relax into it, it cums easier, I can ejaculate quite profusely, another part of it is, I have to be in the right emotional state, can’t be tense or anxious, in the right state I can produce quite a bit
when I released, it was so forceful, just about hit my knees, quite a lot of liquid, I drenched this blanket, the outer layer is really nice micro fiber, one side feels more fleecy, long or soft, not sure what core is made of, nice heavy quality, almost feels like a really thick, aluminum foil, that’s what’s in the core, of thick micro fiber, I kinda ran a test, ejaculated very profusely, could literally feel seem from liquid on the other side, could feel the heat rising up and no leaks
also, another thing I’ve used it for successfully is with menstruation, a lot of women, I can not have a period without leaking through and ruining sheets, no matter how I try to prevent it, I’m forever leaking, worked so well absorbing fluid from squirting, do have heavy periods, never had a leak through with that, mine is black so never shows any stains
TP: reconcile massage therapy and erotic/sensual body work
AL: conventional massage, faces challenges, sex trafficking we do have massage parlors, people go in and pay to essentially have a hand job, we do have a lot of legitimate medical therapeutic pockets of massage as well, I might get some flack for saying this, I feel like the massage field, massage industry is kind of like the porn industry, range is so wide and diverse, really ranges from light to dark, because of the world that we live in and the way that that works right now, right now we are in a situation within the industry where it is more restricted, more regulated, sometimes makes it harder for things that really need to be integrated as therapies and modalities, it does present a barrier to those things developing, situation where a few bad apples can ruin the bunch, I think that I’m sure there are some reputable therapeutic professional body workers in the world, who are addressing the issue of storing trauma within the sexual organs, because of the state of the world and restrictions within the massage industry, more on the individual level, not rely on industry to be guiding force, really take it grass roots, take matters into our own hands, start to explore our own bodies, we need connect with our own bodies and own abilities, innate inner wisdom that you wake up when you explore these inner realms, realizations and states of being that we come to naturally
as I’ve gone on this journey, I’m not having to force or dictate, as I peel back each later, with each layer of trauma, and stuckness that I peel away, I deepen in to my more authentic self, the more I go with this the more that it comes out, my own intuition, if something is right for me or if not, we’re in an information overload, not just at the tip of fingers, but its being thrown at us, so important to be in touch with your own inner voice, to know if something is right for you or its not
deeper impact if it’s coming from the grassroots, inner knowing that then grows outwards, we’re gonna find the most powerful transformation and improvement and growth when it comes to sensual and erotic body work, hoping to come from too, how do we take our knowledge as professionals within different niches, being a sex coach or relationship coach, any of these different titles and hats, sexual awakening, how do we bring the practical application of that to your average laymen who might not have the training, they can start to connect with deep wisdom they do have within themselves its just dormant, wake up to their own master, and that’s kind of what I’m hoping to bring in from my perspective, and from my own personal experience, I want to help people start from where they are, and connect and ground in from their own power and own personal voice, so it’s not something they have to go do, a licensed body worker, they feel
really just getting started, so many things ready to pop, can’t keep my mouth shut about these things, finding ways to talk about it, one way or another, can’t keep it inside anymore, next time I come on, this has been a lot of fun, hope there is a next time, will have my own links, more of my own thing going by then, on my path and expression, last words or thoughts
I’m directing this to everybody in general, women who are listening, encourage you to love yourself unconditionally, touch yourself as an extension of that love that you have for yourself, with the utmost respect and regard, get in there, re-establish your connection with you body, whether you’re in a relationship or not, my sexuality is for me, that’s independent of what somebody else gets from it, for my own self growth, and pleasure and enjoyment, encourage women to get in there, connect with your own body, love yourself, touch yourself, see how that open’s your life up in ways you can’t imagine, so many ways the work I’ve done has touched and impacted other areas of my life