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Sexorcism the Tantric Opera Episode 18 “Sexual Shamanic Kundalini Invocation with Crystal Chakra Surgery and Auric Healing Salt Bath”


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This video contains extended takes and footage from the Tantradelic Exorgasm music video.

Lucia Gabriela.

Walking the Path of Fire with Tantrika and Intimacy Coach Lucia Gabriela TPP285

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In this episode I’m joined by Lucia Gabriela for a deep exploration of her personal tantric transformation and healing by walking a path of fire

About Lucia:

Lucia Gabriela helps individuals and couples to master their life, relationships and intimacy with themselves and others.

Her passion is to create a safe and sacred space for women and men to deeply explore many aspects of themselves, purge emotional and/or sexual traumas that are holding them back from manifesting what they desire, heal their inner child, embrace their shadows, connect with their higher self, reconnect with their own body’s wisdom, align with their true essence, live their higher potential, and master their sexual life in all realms. They can then create their life with awareness, maturity, self responsibility, radical self-love, and full commitment to explore their sexual and spiritual evolution.

Lucia Gabriela specializes and works with individuals whose journey is to free themselves from emotional and sexual traumas, and helps them to reclaim their creative power, body, voice, sensuality and sexuality plus to welcome pleasure into their lives, creations and relationships.

Media Links

Site: http://luciagabriela.com

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/luciagabrielacoach

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LuciaGabrielaCoach

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nunaholisticretreatcenter

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luciagabrielacoach

Twitter: https://twitter.com/LuciaGabrielaHC

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/luciagabrielahc

My Non Verbatim Show Notes:

LG:

relationship and intimacy coach

help individuals struggling in relationship

go through different toxic relationships, marry multiple times, don’t know why they keep attracting same toxicity in life, help to break free from toxic patterns, behaviors, mindsets, energies

create relationship truly desire

deep level of intimacy, not carrying baggage in relationship

tantra facilitator

explore energy, consciousness, awareness, true self, deeper level

destroying what’s not serving us

path of fire, journey of fire

tantric principles, beautiful journey

reclaim power, voice, who they are here right now,

embrace, learn to love self at deeper level

work I do, I will say really excited, integrative somatic therapist

working with the mind, mindset, body, emotions, energy heart soul

multi dimensional part of self

release traumas, stories that are stuck in our body

blocking our energies

creative self, kundalini system, sometimes block root chakra, sacral, naval, power is,

power also in heart, power to be in body of humanity, grounded rooted, moving forward, safe secure, so many blockages we have in those areas

somatic work, releasing energy blocking you

releasing emotions blocking you

so passionate about work I do, why I help individuals and couples

younger age myself, able to explore different realms of shamanism, energy, grew up in ecuador, home country

exposed to different aspects of life, of healing

same time, integrative holistic homeopathic home, that was my medicine, doctors holistic

fascinating, developed cancer at age of 15, family in shock, how did this happen

I knew reason, as a child, age of 5, didn’t fit in on this planet, called myself alien, not from this planet, couldn’t understand why people were so violent, abuse

family was holistic, spiritual, catholic, good food, natural food,

aspect of irony, very emotionally abusive environment

everything looking good, even sexuality, very open, about sexuality, nudity, about men walking naked in house

very interesting, great elements placed in my life, emotional part, missing out

became suicidal for 10 years, used to pray for the bad for me, pray for I don’t want to live, I want god to take me away

look at stars, when are you guys coming to pick me up, I can’t be on this planet any longer, in this body

feeling pain and suffering from other people

cancer, knew it was because I was asking that for myself

when it happened, discovered through appendix, pain in appendix in middle of night

heard voice, you asked to die, this is a taste of it, in shock

I asked this my whole life, now facing death, unknown pain, healthy girl, sports, competitive sports, eating healthy, doctor says I’m good

so good, camo emotional pain

facing death

this cannot be, I have my mom, my sister to take care of, at that age, I became the protector of my mom and sister from dad abuse

tough girl, stand up to dad, put him in place

shocking to be like, what’s gonna happen to my family if I leave this planet

wake up call, where is this going

I have to live, I have a purpose to live now

through that journey, went into deeper levels of spiritualism

shamanic realm,

candles, energy, homeopathic, still wasn’t integrated, still wasn’t there for me at my core

journey for 2 years, exploring and learning gnosis

science of knowledge, through journey, explore tantra, kama sutra, buddhism, hinduism, languages, golden languages, meditation, breath work, kundalini

beautiful healing process

didn’t go through kemo, radiation, any protocols, blessed at age of 15, recommended surgery, wanted to remove organs, live rest of life with feeding tube, probably wouldn’t be a live,

no I’m not doing that

path of holistic medicine

gonna heal it

I know why I did it, I know what’s going on, I’m gonna heal it

doctor looked at me like somebody possessed me

knew at that moment, my emotions that need to change, change perspective of life

must come to agreement with my body, be in harmony with myself

live in integrity with feeling

be able to be myself and love myself

love nature

love why I’m here

have a purpose in life

purpose to be on this planet

not waiting for alien friend to come pick me up

I’m hear on earth for a purpose, here to create something amazing, I’m gonna get there

that was the first awakening, catalyst during my life

we can study everything

all these books, watch all these videos, all these podcasts, and everything, information is great, but is not all of it

always excited to share with people, its important for us to take what we’re learning

look for message

integrate in life

integrative

takes time for us to really truly integrate what we have learned, experienced, discovered about ourselves

owners of our life

own knowledge we’ve been exposed to

what happened is that I moved to the us

knowledge of relationships

intimacy

met ex-husband

another wake up call

discovered self to go into insecure self, being loved

wanted to be chose, seen, got infatuated

seeing this person as my prince on white horse, rescue me of something

new in country didn’t speak english that well, husband was prince

used my own knowledge about energy

magic rituals, law of attraction, candles, crystals, influence energy, do moon rituals to make this person want me and chose me and love me, send gifts, messages

ended up with this person, had child, being married

7 years together, one of most toxic relationships of my life,

younger said I would never marry someone like my father

learning about boundaries, awareness, psyche, attracted so one who was very nice on the surface, deeper level anger issues, shadows

we all have shadows

integrate shadows to be able to heal

very toxic abusive relationship, after separation, process of divorce, domestic violence, custody

I was so infatuated, own power of influence, rituals, white magic, bring somebody in my life, happened to be I was actually doing dark magic against myself

karma got back to me really bad

not just toxicity we create being our selves, toxicity we allow other people to vomit on us when they have own issues own struggles

been working past 35 years of my life, turn 40 this year, awareness of emotions energy,

how we relating, what we’re creating, taking full responsibility for everything

embracing victim

get out of victimhood, step into empowered self

to be integrity, responsible, accountable

now in beautiful relationship, partnership

very blessed to have partner that is aware and conscious

past 5 years, explore things about myself, shadows, holding space

a person who has learned with me, together, hold space for our struggles

our shadows, darkness, weakness, strength

be there for each other, hold each other accountable, if we fuck it up

coming from place of love, seeing other person as amazing incredible being that they are

everything I create is based on what I have gone through in my own life

do share and teach and coach from what I have learned in my own life, 90% of my work, the remain from amazing mentors in my life

that’s my story

I am in this beautiful space, even though covid-19, beautiful space, grateful I have the tools to hold space for my emotions and feelings and allow myself to get upset, frustrated, tools for going from one energetic field to the next one, not suppress anything in my body

one of biggest issues, society, suppress everything, numb ourselves, alcohol, drugs

may not be prepared to face what must be faced

that is who I am,

here to answer any questions that you may have, conversation can be juicy

TP: archetypal, what humanity’s been going through

where do you feel the word patriarchy, critique of toxic masculine, be interested to hear about,

sophisticated analysis of the paradox of all these blessings, cursings, slight imbalance can take hold, skew path

antedote is in poison, wounded healer, personal insight, move people with your story, help them move beyond

meta narrative, story of how this world became as toxic as it is, environment, businesses, government, businesses collude, macro force, part of your story?

Tantric story of goddess, shiva shakti, demons in tantra, goddesses have to fight them with their powers, very symbolic of this imbalance of those energies

thoughts, how did we get here to this point of hell on earth

LG: I would say, we are actually living, hell is the most amazing place to purge what is not actually us, hell as the place where we can really learn so much about our self, blessing in there, really learn to know, what are we really made of, what are not made of

when it comes to working with masculine, feminine, patriarchy, matriarchy,

earth level, aspect of separation and division, polarized so many things, separation, division, see somebody that does not look like us, a lot of conditioning, programming happening, masculine, feminine, woman man, patriarchy, matriarchy, put ourselves in boxes, can’t really see the greater picture

I address aspect, not much of masculine feminine, see it from a more cosmic universal perspective, permission to feel energy, feel space, feels and vibration as they are without giving them any definition, naming, title

I have run close to 300 live events, at the beginning of running tantric events, working with masculine/feminine, many books, backgrounds tell us masculine is this way, feminine is this way

females crazy, chaotic, masculine more grounded

when we go from that perspective, we’re really conditioning everyone to act in a certain way, put people in boxes, even spirit in box, spirit can not be contained in a box

experiment, guide amazing people at events, festival, clearing statements, destroying all beliefs, everything we have learned, read, knowledge about masculine feminine, female male,

clear the energetic field in our space, to feel without description

very fascinating, okay invite you tap into your masculine, switch to feminine

honoring both aspects of self

feedback from people

when they got into the essence of space of just feeling the energy of masculine, totally opposite of what the book said, had this energy, that would be recognized as feminine, many times concept of feminine, feeling this energy supposed to be energies of masculine

the more we did this, did with myself, feeling in own body, recognizing masculine/feminine within myself

energies would flow, same and equal

on thing I got one of my meditation practices, degree of difference, related to the mind,

mind was the one that created the degree of difference, put in boxes

fascinating to explore that for years

honor concept of masculine and feminine, great beginning to start, but it’s not all this, so much more than that

invite individuals to come to source

come out of that separation of divinity as god/goddess, come higher than that

helping individuals to start recognizing energies

recognize energies

one of greatest things I experienced in life

less judgement, less tension, less disagreement, more acceptance, more compassion

talking about energy

not saying you’re the man, you’re supposed to this, do that

because I’m not seeing my partner of a title, box, see my partner as a free being

master of his energetic field

partner be able to hold space, container, instead of saying be more of man, more of masculine, I would say I need support, hold a container

I hold huge containers, working with trauma, must hold strong container

talk about aspect of energy, alignment with energies vs. what they’re supposed to do because of title

broader way of relating to somebody, do still address the aspect of conditioning about man and woman

thousands of years, patriarchy

we see dynamic, pretty much all about conflict of power,

programmed for thousands of years

getting out of programming

difference in gender, controlled in specific way, coming to this era of recognizing who we are more as a being, than gender

being itself

cosmic universal energies

no gender feelings. No polarization

energetic realms, really important for us to understand, yes we run into all these energies, universal energies, up to us which muscle we build

understand the psychological consequences of programming, who’s in power, who’s in control, who’s gonna dominate what

I would say more domineering, times

who feels that is lacking power, decides to control a population of society, vs their own struggles

I’m struggling and I don’t know my own power, I’m gonna be so domineering and toxic, control the one that’s weaker

the one that are strong I’m gonna make them weaker

fulfill own need of feeling important, significant, because I’m so disconnected from myself

what we’re seeing in society, a blessing in disguise

opportunity to see how much are we really disconnected from ourselves

TP: transcend gender binary, makes people defensive, partnership societies, now dominator societies, thousands of years, before there was more of a balance

first peoples, paleolithic peoples, hunter gatherers, different ways to look out how societies have evolved

when I discovered tantra, it worked for me compared to spiritual paths about austerity

tantra about passion, pleasure, full body experience

anthropology, return to balance of power

notion, idea that the simplist way I could explain tantra, dualistic dancing energies, can also be warring energies, within ourselves, inner marriage, inner alchemy, shiva, shakti, practice of tantra, kundalini rising, create triangle

two poles, meet at the apex of top of center of triangle, transcending the gender binary, merging into oneness with the god head/goddess

diagonal path, meet in the middle, be united, empowering narrative for transcending gender binaries, and so called war of the sexes

love that you’ve said the path of fire, first time of heard, beautiful way to do that inner work

do that shadow work

from your perspective what kind of paths of tantra have you explored, do you feel the promise is we can transcend duality

LG: fire is one of my favorite elements, my partner sometimes argue with me, really want to , there’s other path for alchemy

tantra, alchemical path, radical transformation of individual self, explore amazing awakening of sensuality, sexuality, pleasure, comes because we have to earn it, aspect of alchemy, we must earn it, element of fire

when you can look at the elements, water, destroy, wind destroy, hurricane, tornado, leave debris, chaos behind, earthquake using earth, leave chaos behind, fire, ashes left behind,

if you decide to destroy something that is not serving, the fire will destroy it

even biblical times, bible, the humans ourselves, created from ashes, go back to ashes, created from the dust, go back to dust, created from powder, go back to it

beautiful cycle, transform, must destroy, purity fire can offer to us

path of tantra, path of fire and alchemy and transformation, evolution, what we must destroy is everything we know, think we are, everything we are

allow ourselves to be reborn, into another aspect of ourself

TP: so honest, a lot of people in new age, want to sell some path, its usually they’re not forth right about the challenge of it, conflict, struggle, unpleasantness,

with tantra I appreciate the authenticity of it

marketing for people to want to clean up what they’ve been shoving under carpet to have incentive

combust toxic material, have greater love, warmth, the idea of composting, from gardening, turning your mind weeds into fertile soil for what you want to have their

emotions, thought forms

people running each other ragged in toxic relationships, that’s a lot of energy, could be used for magic, creativity, design, optimizing that

not all bliss bunnies

my friend said it best once, yeah people just want the “yums”

you won’t appreciate them unless you have the yucks too

LG: invite people to recognize, path of tantra, path of destruction, must embrace a destroyer, kali, a destroyer, for us to be able to plant a seed we must nurture the soil, but we have to destroy what was behind that, if you have weed on that soil, other things that doesn’t work, rock, you have to prepare it, that’s called destruction, destroy what was there to be able to prepare for what is coming,

we have to embrace the dark part of ourselves as destroyers, the shadow part of ourselves, really come to aspect of integration, tantra, shiva shakti, aspect of fusion, coming to oneness, cosmic universal unity that is so authentic, so connected with everything

beyond the matrix, beyond the cosmic, feel the heart beat of another planet, of orion, of another cosmos

connected to that realm, integration, fusion

same aspect must happen with dark and light

learning to love ourselves and our darkness, our shadow, learning to appreciate power of shadow, power of light

not about being a pleasure seeker, tantra about being an alchemical seeker

being of integrative evolution

not just about g-spot, orgasm, teach sex magic, yeah we can do that

but I have an awareness, I can teach you have to have great sex, kama sutra, how to touch the body, how to, techniques

TP: great introduction, riveted, a lot more to explore in future episodes,anything you want to share,

LG: luciagabriela.com, webinars, love after toxic relationship, online classes around how to create boundaries, manage and go from triggered to bliss, how to go from that experience to feeling more blissful, creating sensual alchemist training program

learning to embody sensuality, different aspect of archetype, also with shadows, powerful deep journey, decide to go deeper, go to core of what holding you back, stopping you from being who you are, intake form fill out, discovery call, complementary, see how I can help you, invitation is there

TP: blessed way to start my day, glad we’ve been about to connect, moving forward through time of crisis, take this time to start to do that work, reach out to folks doing this great work

 

Moshram Banner

Permaculture Eco-Warriors Establish The Moshram Part 2 TPP281

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In this episode I’m joined by MC Mycopath for a two part series on the past, present, and future of his personal permaculture journey and the establishment of The Moshram

My Non Verbatim Show Notes

MM:

10 years doing landscape consultations, small scale urban repurposing of people’s front and back yards, more hip with local, everything that’s taking place, microbio in soil, plants that co-mingle,

also consulting folks with health

certifications achieved through multiple biochemists

learned that the more fresh foods that we consume, the healthier our cells are

the body that takes us around here

with that, understanding and passion for that, I really wanted to be able to provide highest quality product of food for myself and others, coupled with education

spin farming, brother and I spin farming, didn’t necessarily bring in permaculture

added permaculture principle layer to spin farming

densely growing high value crops in small area

regenerate the living systems

help maintain my living system, at a cellular level, also at a financial and social level

been about 5 years, that I’ve been on this site, had multiple sites over the years

site, least likelihood of it being taken from underneath my feet, all apart of journey

seeing successes and failures in past projects

led me to finding this space

it was through a friend, that was aware that I was looking to scale up

spin farming in brothers back yard, with brother

then when on to slightly expanding at space I was at

really like to bring it all to one location and just do this

generally around vegetable crops

annuals predominantly

put in a layer of perennial crops

also longer term species, fruit trees

learned fascinating things about fruit

fruit tree requires least amount of water over long time period

gives back a lot to soil

soil is really just millions or billions of living organisms

eating pooping, dying, whole things perpetuating

through roots and leaves, branches, fruits, they drop all feeding system

year in year out

bring together this whole concept

put it at a term, silvopasture

rows of fruit trees, or some type of tree

aid in creating shade

aid in slowing down wind

not requiring a lot of water, relative to other annual crops

in between rows, would grow annual crops

maybe these annual crops are things just to regenerate soil

rotational crop, in between lettuce, grow vetch, cow pea, to reinvigorate the soil from what was depleted from what was the previous crop you cultivated

what we set out to do here

very densely packed rows of vegetable crops to sell at market and too individuals through CSA type program

longer term species of varying fruit trees

simply move forward upon goals of project, something that’s always an unknown, fortunately and unfortunately, that collaborative team of 3 individuals broke down

mediator, wasn’t sustainable, they didn’t vibe well, both wanting to walk away which they did

I was not very interested in walking away from another project, having it swept out from under me, again ,because these two egos weren’t collaborating

move post differences

differences got in the way

I wasn’t feeling, stepping away from all of the work we had done from contouring the land, to bringing in so much organic matter, infusing bacterium, all sorts of soil microbiology

perennial fruit trees, you have to wait some time, 3-5 years minimum to reap harvest

I didn’t have it in me to just be like you guys aren’t into, either am I, I am into it

don’t just want to do it here, want to perpetuate this stamp, different biomes

so cal region, mediteranean biome, only about 7 med, climates on the planet, tend to be the most lucrative for humans to co-exist with surroundings, temperatures, food crops, wild and domesticated

love to see what it’s like in other bioregions as well, other climatic elements

we’ve got going on what we have here

you came forward saying how interested you were in helping perpetuate this project, it was like the clouds parted

working on this site, we’re on 10s of acres, just working out a little over an acre, just maintenance alone for one person is daunting to say the least

just because we put together a holistic system doesn’t mean there’s no more work

actually perpetual, no end to amount of work, just in pruning things, cultivating

easy to plant seed, easy to harvest, cultivation in between, I don’t know if it’s gonna survive or not, I’ll do everything I can

lot of energy mental, physical, spiritual

one dude, isn’t gonna hold the world on his back man, either are two

TP: makes me think I’m gonna use another term for defining permaculture and call it ecological parenthood

caring for something to maturity

young families go through it, terrible twos, fighting, health similar thing

tree system here, adolescent,

MM: not as easy as dealing with child, can’t teach a tree how to fight off a squirrel, they’re bullies

TP: the timeliness of this, synchronicities will be unveiled later

rick straussman, first actual government sanctioned psychedelic research studies since the 70s, gap of 20 years

spirit molecule, interviewed,

recently, basically saying, people would ask did he take DMT,

he would give a vague answer or plausible deniability

eventually recently came out, admitted, yeah, I was doing it

I’m like fuck yeah, I wanted to hear that for so many years, scientist had the balls to do what he was talking about

ties back together, something he said, meta level life philosophy

you know, back then I had my whole career ahead of me still, a lot to lose, judged, critique, older, less of my life left, that’s much less life to lose

we’re at a point where I don’t want to piss off the wrong people, I don’t want to be a target, wait til we have resilience before we have grand opening at this site

eventually will ripened, eventually forced by demand, people will need it

sweet spot in time, security measures, support we need, capital, be in place for the time we want to open the gates

get to that point when, we did the thing, not much left to lose, tell the story, give real names, not give a fuck

certain things now, I feel like, at least statute of limitations has run out on some things, one metric

that feeling, we’ll get to a point where we don’t have that much to lose

my side of story of having fallen in love with this site, toured project in the past, wishing I could be more connected, occasion to visit

definitely feel like it was one of the most epic works in progress of so cal permaculture

ability to do it right

social permaculture dynamics of human sector, zones of humans, sector of humans, human elements, could have most beautiful property, dynamics surrounding neighbors be your worst enemy, false starts,

time energy, blood, blisters, heart ache, amount of effort that goes into permaculture project, somebody that’s they’re mission, to have that be continually ripped out in front of you

people don’t even see it

persecution of religious sects, we are the lost tribe of permies, that are constantly being haranged by neighbors

adapted us also to travel light in our personal empires

positive side effect of lifestyle of ecological romance

nudge nature to create symphonies of seed and soil

less hindered

student of Tyler Durgen, waking up after car crash with Edward Norton, the world I see, laying out strips of vennisen

hunter gathers, thriving on the carcass of industrial collapse

utopian anarchoprimitivists, intellectual elite, from eugene, green anarchist, wanna be poser,

not everybody was a poser, the heads that were the elitist, very hyper intellectual, authors and writers, wind bags, had all this talk

in eugene the founder of food not lawns, we’d go there talk bs about living primitive, blessing her with presence of our lofty conversations, decades later we don’t have our food forest, we don’t have fruit trees maturing, resentment, burnt bridges

super extra appreciate hard work that’s been done

this site, work you’ve done, huge grace, a pass, I could and should very well be punished for how far I’ve strayed from the path of planting trees, defending them, standing by them, storms, storming off of partners and lovers, mission and duty to make a stand

there’s a lot of times I’ve said this is not the hill I’m gonna die on, and this is the first time I can actually say this is a high that I would die on, for a lot of reasons, biggest gift to me, is to know

who is tantra punk, wacko jerk off wanna be tyler durgen alter ego, that split off from psychedelic ceremonies that got botched, and now this floating soul part of my old wounded self, has created this internet porn star wanna be freak, don’t have much ecological, I have bastard children trees, all over the place, to be able to be like

while you were out there, doing this thing, that could have got you in trouble, some what of an adventure, fool hardy, never would have expected that I could just cheat that time that I walked away from the permaculture path, did this freaky stuff

hey ben, dinners ready, fruit falling from trees, I just get to get back into the zone, almost 10 years since I was in deep coastal mountain broad acre permaculture, doing the trees, doing the systems right, the scale, the soil

waltz into this at a point you’d be beleagured, bromance novel cover if there ever was one

thanks to the designer of designers, tip had lift glass to him

be great to go into the shark tank part of this, now the reinforcements in the form of me and my humble but growing financial capital I can put in to keep things afloat, elbow grease, sweat equity

optimizing dance of mutuality, with responsibilities, rights, tasks, finances, between the two of us

alchemy we’re doing, the renaissance of this project, bring into 2.0 era

trajectory of , drawing from the permies community, paul wheaton, survival podcast, larry santoyo, different instructors we’ve had

business model for the site, the rebel farmers like sepp holzer, austria, kramaterohoff, epic contour narrow ponds support subtropical microclimates, high elevation fruit trees

so abundant, epic, done epic shit, considered to be the ultimate rock star, don’t think any other place on earth, other mature permculture projects, the profitability and scale and grandeur, I don’t know what I would compare to the kramaterhoff on earth

wonders of the world of permaculture tour, walk through it sometime

business model, everything else in agriculture sector, globalized race to the bottom, poison, toxic

convince people to want to buy american, niche for premium products, usually sick people who can afford to take your advice

don’t want to give crutch of supplying, want to teach them to do it themselves, leverage their acreage, their community

the idea of farming to enable other people to not be horticulturalists, shift from that as soon as possible

paradigm, living the dream, market gardeners, the biproduct of creating plenty of best varieties of food we’d like to eat, we’ll have excess, and with that excess we can play god to an extent in the economy because of how much of ecological ninjas we are

rather than try to package it all in plastic, get it in all the stores, scale it to the world

we make a more dense local economy out of it, healing center, learning center, teaching them how to fish, not selling them a fish per se

in my crude nut shell of a pitch, that’s the trajectory we’ve been most in agreement about

if somebody had infinite budget to invest, why should they buy into this as working co-op member, or non-working co-op member, how can people benefit from helping us

MM: few dudely dudes, I’ve met could really have no care to well being of nature around them, small minority of people I’ve spoken with of time on this path, over 20 years

experience with biodiesel co-op, very localized project, I would do education to engineering firms, groups

education at earth day festivals, people contribue, become non-working members of biodiesel co-op because they like what’s going on, think it’s a good direction

if anybody has capital, monetary, social, spiritual, any of the 8 forms of capital, that they are willing to share to perpetuate, the direction of this project

this may sound overzealous, I couldn’t think of a better project, or more dedicated individuals to invest that capital in

it’s one of those put your money where your mouth is

my clients in landscaping and in the health regeneration, many of them, actually buy into what I have to share, because of how I’m living my life

I’m not just using words, I’m hands in the soil, I’m doing everything I can at every corner

from what I know of you, been a crucial part of so many projects, that at one point or another it wasn’t your jive anymore for whatever reason

here we are find ourselves together on a mountain we’re will to die on

and it takes a community always

for anyone that would like to be a part of this community and see it perpetuate

be able to visit the site

local,

to benefit from the harvests of all of this, where else are you gonna put your money, time, energy, love

I’m not sure

it’s like you said man, this is one of the rare sites of southern california, any and all help, helps perpetuate a holistic project, working towards the great good of the local and world community when it comes down to it

held a lot of retreats, get people from all over the world, host in tropics, pretty good centralized area, highly abundance

ripe things to eat, throughout the year

amount of people that congregate, so diverse, so incredible, have a lot to share

at this point we have a site that any and all people interested have the ability to share

before it’s all been other people’s sites, very temporary, the time that gets spent there

long term expanded version of those experiences, and “retreats”

where else are you gonna put your resources, if you want to see great things happen, cause that’s all we’re really into

passionate

tend to only roll with those who are equally passionate about making this place a better place to be

agenda 21,

different concept of human settlement zones, from what we’re working towards here

TP: yes

to say the most and the least, that says it all, what could I add to that

nuts and bolts of this business modeling, goes back to legacy of my parents at some point will read the manifesto my father wrote for member based, for-profit nonprofit, fruit based operation, deep in heart of washington state apple orchard lands, building a massively, dense, intensive educational commercial project, rusticness, design constraint, make all tools, tools to make tools, melting down old cars, human powered, they were one of the first and most highly respected, wasn’t hippie commune, very studious, technical, published technical manual, subscribers to periodical, whether they purchased wares or we students, subscribe to catalog, kind of like micro version of mother earth news

department of making you said, interviewed mom, years ago, maybe now the time, one of those things you never know when it’s appropriate, get people on podcast, get perspectives, state of world, might be our last conversation, could go for anybody, did great interview with mom about 10 years ago, transapocalyptic, utopian for her, fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree

hard dharma, karmic seeds of melt down of family, trauma, wasted years, trouble, lot of years to get on the course that fell apart

a lot of people, children of the hippies

there’s something magical about the fact that here we are kind of at the age our parents were, as a generation, hippie, back to the land 2.0, we had woodstock,the rainbow gathering spawned from that, what are children of hippie’s doing now, actually fulfilling some of those dreams

we have now psychedelic shamanism, and not just acid, the electric kool aid test, these people went back to the land, no shamanic oversight, no elders,

even Geoff Lawton jokes, sad joke, comic tragedy, I wonder how many communes failed because they didn’t understand proper solar orientation, they bought land on north facing slopes, gave themselves an uphill battle on steep slopes facing the shadow of the sun, don’t even know why they melted down

permaculture,

we can learn from a lot of those mistakes, well positioned to demonstrate, and proudly display the next generation of the back to the land movement again at a time my mother talked about in the podcast

people went back to the land at the peak of the OPEC oil crisis in early 1970s

it wasn’t 1969 and summer of love, melt down of haight ashbury into tweaker rape culture madness,

they didn’t go directly from peak of 60s to back to the land, survivalist, apocalyptic thing, cities going to evaporate and collapse, economy gonna collapse, have to head to hills and start building a future

but brought in patriarchy, monoculture, only little bits of eastern mysticism

wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for that

now, okay, this is for me the most pure and karmically cleansed and most righteous set of circumstances to do your thing

are you really these eco artisans the whole world should pay attention to, or destined to fail

may not be the last place I ever work on

do world tour of biomes

if you take permaculture design course you want to be like a army ranger, navy seal, eco macguevery, swiss army knife, want to be deployed in every climate

because you know how to do things like harvest snow melt for nursery underground

be a bad ass shit, being a bad ass eco warrior with all this knowledge

do what special forces and green berets, what if all the engineering and money and investing and capital, everything that went into napalm and agent orange, if instead of destroying ecology, all that cultural engineering of warfare, went into actually creating a more resilient opposition through permaculture

tactical permaculture, make it impossible for them to put land mines in territory you want to defend, created thorny trellising, motes, father in military

being a bad ass, be tactical, have a reason to train, not mma, good for them but

wanna have something I love that’s worthy of defending that would keep me in shape just by working it, origins of kung fu and farming

bit of a tirade from me

MM:

I really like how you brought up that the fruit does not fall far from the tree, parents

definitely feel, that’s a thing that goes on in nature, we’re a part of it

we’re carbon copies of these people we call our parents

we emulate them in so many ways, because of the signature for which they gave us, dna

as father was one of most brilliant men I’ve ever met in my life

I would come forward to father with things I’ve learned, he would share how could he thought it was, what it made him think about

prior too, a little apprehensive, most brilliant man, hey check this out, not knowing what kind of feedback, always positive re-enforcement

honoring that we can do as individuals in relationship to our ancestors, that can be very important for mental scape, how we conductor ourselves in our lives

bro, sounds like a spitting image of your dna tree

I would imagine your mother and father had some similar thing for them

fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree

TP: I should shout out thank you to your father, have to name the library after him

lots of bro time to catch up on, and create that space where we can, aya ceremonies, 2 or 3 generations in one ceremony of family members, pretty epic

we’re healing ourselves, healing each other, healing the masculine, and creating a safe and welcoming space for the feminine to be free to be fully expressed

said before no offense, I kinda feel like, well it goes back to waynes world, fully functional babe layer, you can design for the woman in you, and the woman you want on you, save 9th form of capital for another episode

not a monastery, not womanizers either, between monastery and rapey womanizer cult, we’re probably somewhere in the middle

we need our other ethical brothers to step up, we have some healing to do in our tribe of permaculture, takes a lot of those talks about our fathers and what they did and didn’t teach us

so, that conversation is an open forum, its fun to shoot guns and practice your kicks and punches, equally important to break down and let yourself be, pummelled and tenderized by letting go of trauma, letting brother hood energy find those deep wounds and fractures, more energy buried we could be apply to our tree parenthood, soil parenthood, aquaculture parenthood, seed parenthood

MM:

along those lines of the multigenerations of lineage through psychedelic experience, its always bewildered me, with my psychedelic experiences with mushrooms, everytime I sense my grandfather,at first really weird thing, now a presence I’m aware of, hear and feel mutterings, only knew for short period of my life

at this point it’s very interesting, grandfather said, you’re back, maybe I’m back, it’s nice to be with you

thanks for helping to perpetuate my father,

what can I do for us

great thing

TP: it’s like working for a company, at office chair, every once in a while the owner comes in, the day the owner comes in, checking it out, what’s your name, trippy, ancestor worship is a thing

use it or lose it

I feel in this life, pretty damn abandoned by ancestors, been torn asunder to depths of hell such that ancestors have been blocked off by dark armies of hell, demons, but we’re gonna compost the shit out of them, find that the spirit guides were always there, they were just blocked, we didn’t make it easy for them to get back to us

of all the times I’ve felt I don’t know if I belong here, don’t know what I should be doing here, try to destroy ego, never lasts, very few times and place where I feel there is pure righteousness

liberate this land from all the plastic, multigenerational journey

dance with past and future, toxic gick, pure nature, spirits definitely guiding us

applauding efforts, works cut out for you, each one teach one, clean it up, scale it out

microcosm of what has to be done for the whole planet, on every planet

MM: not controlled by forces that think they’re higher

TP: decentralized, mycopathic, path of mycology

talk about martial arts, personal development, brother hood, men’s group experience that we’re working on and developing synthesis of spiritual, self defense, fitness through working the land, grace of being connected to your yin, notion of not just another wet noodle retreat center, traipsing around in loosest clothing, look at me I look like I just jumped out of a Rambo set, and yet I’m spiritual, dancing, smelling flowers, appreciating all the rainbows, but I can also do some ninja rolls, lift some heavy shit, drag some shit around, and do what’s gotta be done, ideal of a shaolin temple, double dragon fruit

playing up this idea, thinking about, if I was a kid, in the peak of my GI Joe fan boyness I would love to be shooting airsoft guns, tactical training with seed shot pellets, was nature boy, played in nature

how much fun families can be having, applying energy going into videos or going into being a boxer, mma fighter

masculine energy, protection, defense, epic garden project, for masculine energy to balance itself and exhaust itself, place for healthy catharsis, healthy relationships, families, we can both speak to

will be legacy to leave behind, a martial, permaculture, ecological, new martial culture as well, no surprise, or coincidence that we both, been blessed by profound journey’s into what other brutish me respect, not just purple breathers, also to some degree bad asses

love to hear you talk about, the spirit of the dragon fruit that animates you and your kung fu gardening techniques

MM:

made reference to that hippie thing, an elder at one of the rainbow gatherings I was sitting with , great acronym, term hippie, happy intelligent person, pursuing infinite excellence

never my thinking when it came to hippies, people that smelled bad, sat around got high and kept sitting around

just talking isn’t accomplishing,

pursuing infinite excellence, taking it to another level, punk rock perspective

you are a hippie, you smell like scum, I’m your worst enemy, a middle class street punk

and I always resonated with that, really nice to get that different perspective of what hippie could be

greater mobility in body, sought out chi gong master, chinese yoga for lack of better terms

not just stretching

entire philosophy, after about a year of training, sifu said, training is great, very yin, balance out with kung fu, more yang,

open to this, cool

always wanted, wanted to have military training for various reasons it wasn’t something that happened, along same line of hippie

kung fu, nearly synonymous, life mastery

mastering whatever life is for me, to me

level of giving back that comes from all of that

began training kung fu

4-5 days a week sometimes 2 sessions a day, my body started to really get in tune with motions, weapons training, when we think back to the shaolin, where kung fu started

these were farmers, weapons were their farm tools, really started to come through as my body got accustomed to movements, started using these implements in the farm, body now knew how to use them in a more appropriate way

ergonomics

rake or hoe, swing it out with arms, shoulders, and back, or put it out there and move hips back and forth, all power in your hips

spirals up through feet, hips, outward

utilizing that technique with farm tools

new relationship with tools and how to work with land and my body, all in same go

weeding, clearing debris, chopping things down, practicing kung fu

martial arts/life mastery

mastering far more of my body, tools, and tools that work with land

symbiosis, something that we can all benefit to apply in our lives, in any way shape or form

not everybody’s gonna go be a farmer

maybe you’re pushing a vacuum

you can cause strain or you can no cause strain to body, which then causes strain or not on the body, perpetuates through spirit

something that I’m still evolving into I feel like but its very empowering

self reliance

being able to provide for yourself, doesn’t just mean growing food, having land, also means self defense

never know where you’re gonna find yourself

bring those things into all of those life practices, another science that fills one of those holes in that permaculture raft we get pushed out into the water

brings it all back around, self feeding, self perpetuating

mentally physically and spiritually

TP:

brings us full circle

pleasant meanderings, through path of this convo, summary of most of our various contexts, working or grubbin on fruit, whatever it is, comings and goings, as we’ve been carving out this niche for ourselves

always reminds me of the movie that got me first enchanted with martial arts, van damme, blood sport

here we are, tactical permaculture moment going back to deepest roots of romance with nature and martial arts

ninjitsu master, frank dux, he was talking to parents, european parents of young frank dux, depicted to be wine farmers, vineyard, meeting of parents

train with japanese ninjitsu master

frank told me you grow vines, boys like vines need training, martial science brings mind, body, spirit together

we’re fulfilling that prophesy

we’re dudes,

point about military, I mentioned this not too long ago, in jest, valid point

hey america, if you would have given me a real war, or real cause to fight for, I would have served on the front lines, it’s been nothing but bullshit, you don’t get to have this body/mind

don’t give traumatic brain injury, lead poisoning, blow my limbs off, make me unable to sustain a relationship, cut my VA benefits for using cannabis

you don’t get any of that shit, not in this lifetime, maybe that could change, who knows what battles will need to be fought

the joke I made, we’re not we’re not less of bad asses that we didn’t get military training, we’re actually more, if we can be, without having the training of those instructors, and we can train our damn selves, read same manuals, same marksmanship, survival training, mindset of discipline, selection

break you down

I was my own drill segerant, life circumstances carved my ass from cookie dough to wood

health, wellness, survival, comes from putting skin in the game

better to have warrior in garden than gardener in war,

debilitating malformed meme of utopian pacifism

idea that we all need to be genderless, a mush of micro trauma egg shell walking, I’m a man, I embrace that, I don’t need impose, I embrace and love and support cherish diversity, space for everyone

phrase, vin armani brought to attention:

seed conversations of what I’d like to call and have been implementing

permaculture training experience for tactically minded, some of the best training, with hardcore lesbian women, guns and ammo, blades, bows and arrows plaster their walls instead of boy band posters, those are my best friends

ongoing thing that, I want to be the guy that the butch warrior lesbians like to play with on a full moon when they feel like, interesting romance, another story

have to cover my ass and say it’s not hyper masculine, toxic masculine militia

who wants to be securing the perimeter, that’s what we need first, can’t have whole tribe or family unless we can defend them

call to action, strong willed, strong minded, disciplined, people who want to be bangin sticks as they say in pekiti tirsia kali training, continual life long conditioning and training, being a warrior , really mean something for good cause

quote: michael hopf, those who remain,

hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, weak men create hard times,

put that in your pipe and smoke it

enough from me

over and out, roger

thank you again

MM: honor brother, insightful, exciting having this conversation, whoever you are out there listening, hope you were able to glean something from it

summary, I feel like, initially I’d stated how going back to permaculture, can be applied to anything that you do, require taking a permaculture design course with instructor you’d like to learn from, and personality types are thing

I have studied a lot of things in my short time here, does always come back to the principles of permaculture

when I educate others on health, they don’t know it but they’re getting a quick permaculture design course for the body

utilizing all these principles around the landscape we call our bodies

a bunch of cells living together

body, gardening cells, out there gardening soil conditions to provide foods for our cells to utilize

its one of the most valuable trainings that I’ve ever had in my life,

people that also take these course, share similar sentiment

that’s about it

end this with as mc mycopath

end a lot of health lectures with a rap, haven’t done this one in a while, see how it goes

TP: gotta get that out in the drum circle, put some beats on that, hippie drum beats on that

more to come

this conversation is to be continued, next, while we’re still tying up lose ends, give audio tour of integrated systems and logic of design of systems, address

situational report, what we’ve got going what we need help with, if people have time or resources or expertise, what’s been established what’s being established, hearing a bit about what we’re processing, actual road map of what we’re doing, laid out the backstory

of what could be an epic opportunity for ourselves

all sliding scales of wealth, we’re providing

free offerings online, all kinds of content, you’ll be whippin up a podcast, holding the camera for each other to do a lot of the teaching we want to

following up with some a/v content

be comin at cha again soon

big love to you and to all the forces seen and unseen that made it possible to be at this point

Moshram Banner

Permaculture Eco-Warriors Establish The Moshram Part 1 TPP280

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In this episode I’m joined by MC Mycopath for a two part series on the past, present, and future of his personal permaculture journey and the establishment of The Moshram

My Non Verbatim Show Notes

MM:

started out…trouble maker

parents id as ruthless child

stuck me into acting classes, young age

outlet, unrelenting energy

most of childhood, child actor

kindergarten or first grade, hollywood, 7 or 8 years

with that, element of not really going to school, always had to go to auditions, for anything and everything, tv shows, movies, photoshoots,

state law, school for 3 hours, after, in a car driving to hollywood

30-45 percent of time, on-sets throughout elementary school and middle school

lot of really cool work, met great people

tv shows

terminator 2

really great look into the world

moved to san diego, took me out of lime light

distraught, in child actor phase didn’t have to go on audition, just get phone calls, hey you’re hired

once no longer in that realm, I’m a performer, its really in me

astrologically, birth date, title for every day of the year, my day is the grand stage, seemed very fitting, been on stage most of life

when no longer in eye of the camera, some guys that I was in high school with, had a punk band, asked to audition, became the front man of that band, we rocked the so cal punk scene at the right time, right place right time

so cal punk scene blowin up in the 90s, part of that, amazing ride, meet incredible people, see amazing places at a young age

sound recording program

kept furthering it

life would have it, never know certain things are gonna derail you, spin you off/push in another direction

near death experience, NDE

one day, heart stopped, really into meditation

wanted to see how long of breaths I could take, minute in, minute out, strange mental objective, 1.5 in 1.5 out, during that my heart stopped

learned I needed a bit more pressure on the valve to keep that heart pumping, pressure from lungs

that’s its own crazy story, insights gained

done a lot of research on nde,s majority similar story

found myself in consciousness, not in my body, two hands in front of me, a choice, one to come back here, one to stay there, red and blue pill scenario

chose to come back here

flood of information, really expanded consciousness, awareness,

all the sudden looking at body, re entered body, heart began to beat, whoa

looking at friends crying over my body

heart started to beat, freaked out

told me I was dead for a couple minutes

seemed like eternity

really took me on a whole different path

one of the things that came through that transmission, “go back to the earth”

fundamental premise of my entire experience here, ever since then

around 18 years old at the time

next time I ever spoke to somebody, really weird place

whole life tweaked, isolated

next person I spoke to: appalacian trial,

all I heard was go back to the earth, sounds like that’s the way to go back to the earth

cool, dropping everything, go to the trail, go to the woods see where life takes me

hiked the trail,

8-9 months

somethings I’ve learned in life, you can’t prepare for

think I know where I’m going, what I’m gonna do, what it will take, wasn’t true

broken in first few days

but I’m a very persistent individual, eyes on prize, had to keep going, went out with buddy,

didn’t have same persistence, can be grueling, being exposed to all elements, every day

first couple weeks, nothing but rain, head to toe, all your stuff, tweak your mental space and physical space

I kept on truckin, met amazing people

opened up to graciousness that exists in others, re-instilled my love of my fellow man, and compassion

coming from punk scene, I had lyrics I don’t exactlyi resonate with at this point, some that I do

some that…fuck the world, FTW, about to tattoo it on my forearm, thankfully I didn’t although now I would take that off to “fruit the world” so it’d still be applicable

back to the trail, ever expanding

stress fractures in foot

parked on largest waterfall on east coast, hung out, put foot in water til inflammation went down

while doing that, came across hippies, definitely open, but my punk background, I eat hippies for lunch,

expanded self, open to people, great energy, great passion for earth, not entirely at purple breather end of things, could resonate with their cause, going to rainbow gathering, never heard of such a thing, enlightened me,

cool,

decided to walk from florida to pennsyl

I was in the middle of their path

I said I’m going to gathering as well

hitch hiking excursion to gathering

really phenomenal thing.

TP: lots of good things, criticisms, some of most trusted mentors, hardcore devotees, know it’s a mecca, been on bucket list

MM: really opened me up even more, at first felt a little out of place, first rainbow gathering I went to in 1999, walking down a trail, punk kid sitting down by a river, cleaning some clothes or something, boom box, rocking old school punk, hippies walking by , turn that crap off, negativity towards punk kid, see him giving them a finger

people think it’s all love, it’s all everything at the gathering

invitation hippies had given me, paraphrasing, an invitation to a gather for people of all walks of life to pray for world peace

punk kid getting yelled out, connected with him, reflect back at myself, we are all here, I get that kid, alright, dont’ know, haven’t talked to him, get what he’s dealing with, really all walks of life

I was hooked, first gathering there for 3 months, went with 10 dollars, sustained my life for 3 months, dug a lot of shitters, made a lot of food, a lot of keeping fire going, hot water, it was a magical experience, helped me realize importance of feeling like you’re needed

getting kick backs of food, couldn’t ask for much more, sustenance

really changed my life

ever since 1999, only missed 3 rainbow gatherings

16-17 I’ve attended, really feel like family

see faces I’ve been seeing for 20 years

can’t say I connect with everybody, I have differences

no electronics, rules, flashlight, thanks for killin my night vision

TP: I was in the tree sits in oregon, early 2000s, lot of people from rainbow gathering would go to tree sits, a lot of memes, how I learned more about the subculture,

harshing mellow with lights, I can commiserate on both sides now, one up man ship, paul wheaton, some protesters they like to beat you over the head with their protest sign

MM: things have really changed, people walking down the trail text messaging

everything adapts and advances, so has the family, been interesting to watch

altered my perception of what can be, there is an opportunity for us to throw up some kitchens, cultivate and harvest foods, prepare them and share them

not a lot of cultivation taking place, not to say a lot of farmers don’t grow specific rows just to give to the family

farmers pull up from a trailer, from any corner of the country that they brought to feed people that share this vision

TP:

while on rainbow family, for a moment, mentioned before, I personally have only heard of the mythic legends of rainbow and burning man, wanted to experience both, spoken or unspoken tension between the two

segway of tactical permaculture, want to go to these places, hang out, participate in holistic debauchery, escape retreat get out of city

but also have urban guerrilla, urban permaculture, burning man and rainbow come to same place and time, in the city, actually come in and seize an urban area and print out a permaculture design and be a lasting net benefit,

boom festival in portugal, not just temporary autonomous zone, but a permaculture autonomous zone

hopefully be there some day, idea of a more applied use of all those ethics, all the people, ability to raise a barn, and party, and whatever

wanna talk about, so you have not been to burning man, have been in this other tribe, other clan, if you want to segway into if you’re real visionary and want to transform the world, bring the candle into darkness

MM:

never been to burning man, certainly know plenty of burners, heard stories, seen pictures, videos, on and on

the collaboration, definitely can be a great thing, from a rainbow perspective, speak for no body, no one can speak for another, just a bunch of individuals, going some place to collaboratively exist and pray for wold peace, beyond that there’s nothing,

can’t apply for permits, can’t get land under said name

gone to a lot of vision councils, can take days to over a week, learned a lot from some of the elders

other rainbow family listening, apologize if I botch it, if not mistaken, navajo offered land for rainbow family to collectively gather and stay, autonomous zone on tribal lands

because no body can represent the rainbow family, no body’s able to accept that

find that is a really strong element of rainbow ethics, I cannot speak for you, you cannot speak for me, we’re all autonomous here, awesome

also see how there’s a level of hindrence there, doesn’t provide framework to collectively gather and build these spaces for generations of time, just pop up events, a few months

what is the entity that would cooperatively manage that space, enough nah votes within rainbow, operates on consensus, if you don’t get consensus, you don’t get to move forward, empowering thing, slows things down, really good objective, within any form of governance, the slower it can move the healthier, jumping the gun..pitfalls

no body represents anybody, except for themselves

TP: brings up fork, validating sense that going back to paleolithic, presettled nomadic cultures, gypsies, you don’t collect diseases from animals, don’t pollute an area if you’re always nomadic, shifting, relocating, horde less stuff, less material objects,

huge respect, as anthropologist of radical subcultures and movements, I love the idea you don’t burn the spot, set upa lace, do your thing then move on, maybe cycle back again

two different modes, having a permanent location,

also notion or stay at location, own rent, squat, or be nomadic, multiple locations

practical permaculture informed, project, objective, mission,

go to this site, clean up brown field, plant stuff, cycle back in a few years, for next phase, more of a deployment,

installation work, facilitated

what if you had drones and different party lights, projecting lazer lights on contour lines for people to stomp and dig and build, permaculture design, light show that displays design on landscape, different teams all in the grove, cadence, dancing, next level stuff

MM: brother, that concept blows my mind, rainbow gathering maybe 2001, montana, amazing gathering hung out with ram dass, saw bob dylan, awesome folks out there

we went there, always an element for vision counsel, going to places that need healing, not just restorative work from an ecological perspective, also from spiritual, energetic perspective

places where massive battles have been fought, concept of altering the energetic pattern that is locked into that land, with this loving thing that takes place at rainbow, 4th of july

silence that takes place, from sunrise until rainbow noon, silence broken by children in parade,

silence, gathering around peace pole, ceremonially put into earth, so as we can direct our energy into the pole, goes into the earth and up to the heavens, one of the ways to infuse and release the new energy and the old energy that is ingrained in that space

ecologically, always found it incredible

between 10k and 40k people, a lot of pee and poop, with contour lines, seen this, if we could dig our shitters on contour lines these could be some seriously fertile beds for sprawling of wildlife plants

going back to montana situation, about 10 years later, went back

hit me one morning, opening tent, looking out seeing what could have been had we had some constructive planning 10 years previous

whenever choice was made to go back to montana, had we had the forsight to put into some type of plan

nomadically hit these spots, come back around to them maybe every 10-15 years, see ecological benefit

usually people talking about impact from negative perspective

clean up crew, site impeccable when we left, no devastation that ever took place

benefited greatly from being at that site

we could have really, all of us brought something with us to share to spread diversity of species, whatever survives, the conditions for it to occur are there

its happy, everything’s comingling,

have things we’d be able to harvest

cultivating is the hardest part

fruits of labor, 10 years later, would be a beautiful thing

TP: awesome, beautiful exploration, leads us to getting back to timeline

rainbow gatherings national forests, different vibe

who knows, just designing, curious, what was that process of evolution from you being a nature boy, having done the hiking, closer to earth, how did you become an ecological designer

MM: had heard the term permaculture, I believe first at a rainbow gathering

reading agenda 21 manual at library, spending days reading, UN soft touch plan for ways to organize and mobilize the direction of the planet, didn’t agree with it, banks running things, how they’ll be running thing, struck odd nerve, doesn’t seem holistic

somebody came up to me mentioning permaculture

couple years later, had hitch hiked around country about 2 years straight, came back to so cal, culture shock so heavy

la to san diego, no way sticking around, vibration not sitting well, go on other side of road, got out of california,

northern minnesota,

nicest place I’d ever been, relocated

up there, in a very tight knit community, one of most artistic, very socially involved

one of my buddies, really into permaculture, purchased designer manual, permaculture 1, lot of words I didn’t understand, just read a book that I didn’t quite get, then came across,

what we’d now call meetups, started going out,

permaculture in cuba, created design, implemented design with people of cuba, one of the gentlemen on that team, host of meet up,

tipped off of concept of greening the desert, from that point on, if you can seriously take desert biome and make it green, there’s something cool going on here, always wanted to participated in that something cool

we get busy in life, at time was contractor, living in housing co-op, took a lot of my time

building/grounds chair person, chair for funding and development, co-chair for finance, wrapped up, wasn’t pushing as hard as I could, educational/implementation of permaculture frame work

flame worker, glass artist, blowing glass

started biodiesel co-op, wonderful girlfriend

time was eaten up, interested in furthering permaculture studies, permaculture design course, nothing hit right time wise

one year

biodiesel shuts down in winter, large demand for biodiesel in fuel oil heaters, ways to market biodiesel, I went to washington, oregon, northern california, networking, to obtain biodiesel in the winter

4 month journey, in california, on the coast, go to san diego, visit family

friend offered work, doing sign installation, took work, paying amazing, while on one of job sites, co-worker backed over me with a truck

didn’t have NDE, another hard turn in my life, curses can turn out to be blessing

could not walk, told would never walk again, not an easy thing to sit with

after going through the heavy bouts of depression, I’ve always wanted to take a permaculture design course, I’m doin it

started me down the higher levels of my understanding with permaculture

2 week intensive

mind was blown

to say the least, all I wanted to do was perpetuate installations utilizing the techniques and understandings I had gained

took another course, and another course

heavy amount of info, retention, very small, remember things at the very beginning, the very end

a lot of material in the middle to get lost in the ether of the mind

kept taking it, again, again

wanted to better understand

fill in gaps

after a few pdcs, remember speaking with one of my mentors and teachers

late great, toby hemenway

really want to go to school, considering constitutional law or sustainable agriculture

education through university system, Toby looks at me, pulled a Bill Mollison on me, can you give me an example of a sustainable agricultural system,

not that I’m aware,

then how you gonna study

right, so true

so

I found myself perplexed,

you need to do whatever you think is best for you

if you’re interested in studying plants, study horticulture, how plants relate to soil and how soil relates to plants

have yet to meet lawyer who’s a happy individual

work with plants, tend to be happy

gonna pursue horticulture degree

amazing program

after that

heard permaculture described

younger brother, pdc in thailand

metaphor for permaculture

pdc is like being given a raft with a bunch of holes in it, get pushed out to sea in raft, have to plug up all the holes

holes are different sciences, permaculture is taking all the sciences and weaving them together

great metaphor

I’ve become certified in so many specialty modalities, gray water, holistic range management, super adobe construction, soil food web, mycology,

it’s endless, the sciences, thermodynamics

the more we understand these things , the more holistic of a design we can create, and implement

still at a point where I need crutches or a walker to walk

came across a biochemist, that gets quads walking

I’m not a quad, just needed assistance in walking

biochemist hit me with truths, unable to refute

run for money with body

inflammation went down, pain went away, could walk again, limited mobility because of contracts

regained mobility

taking in data

learn what biochemist did

studied with 3 biochemists

live blood analysis

things to be learned from every corner

biochem made sense, because of soil science

stake functions, things already learned

different realms

become much of my life at this point

passionate of regenerating living systems

soil, water, human terrain, animals,

certified in all sorts of modalities

all come together

in this web that we call permaculture

permaculture is really, not gardening

it’s something that you apply to whatever you do, could be a brain surgeon, apply principles in your surgeon practice

as long as reaping harvest from what we cultivate in a holistic manner

permanence within culture

everything gardens

fruits vegetables, fungal systems,

monetary, capital, things and stuff if that’s what is needed

holistic manner

all technically practicing permaculture

TP: permaculture rabbit hole

infinite fractal patterns, not just set of tools and techniques, philosophy, interdisciplinary science

attempts to define it

sustainable human settlement design

warren brush, living beautifully, everyones got a different way

permaculture is just applied ecology, repackaged ecology

true but not end all be all

is permaculture a cult, paul wheaton, put the cult in permaculture, joking

cynicism, too expense, hacked permaculture design course, permaculture party pack torrent

mentor, lets hack pdc certificate, I’ve put in work, read black book cover to cover, 72hour course with bill and geoff, king and crown prince, done the work, even went to see my punk band, considered that to be my talent show, year long membership, traded him one of first permaculture podcast websites

did our own value add/function stacking design of a student and master

made it work, to get the pdc into the hands of the working class, not enough has been done to get out of mlm pyramid scheme

people don’t make their money back on course

how many certified permaculture designers made the cost of the course back

this is the most priceless education you could ever get, if you take this course and don’t figure out how to make a sustainable living doing whatever you love…

I don’t think you can say it’s too expensive, can say it’s not accessible, amount of time, you need, multiple courses over weekends

radical movement, came out of various earth sciences, disgruntled looks at destructive poisoning, end game of industrial agriculture,

how to look at ethnology and anthropology of horticultural societies

frame work, infinitely scale and branch out in water, soil, trees, land forms, biomes

all from ecology, plus ecological anthropology

sophisticated academic scientific methodical

what were some big take aways, ah has from first course

when it clicked for you

super practical, how come this is not already mainstream

first moments of revelations

educational piece

quick intro to permaculture

MM:

crucial element obtained initially through pdc, understanding that the perfect system is the system that we are all birthed into, nature, nature doesn’t have flaws, as far as I’m aware of, it’s all creating its all consuming, everything feeds and everything eats everything else so there is no waste, fascinating

every ecological niche is included there

main thing with that would be observation of any of those elements

bees, ants, fungus, bacteria, trees, we can just go on and on, how water flows, on and on, comes back to these elements, naturally occuring

something aware of before first pdc

some of most successful systems built, we all use, the internet, sending packages through modems, and routers

my understanding the awareness of how to make that an effective system was done by watching ants, and how ants transfer data along their path,

mimicked how ants transfer data, this is how we’re transferring data right now, ,audio, files, the way that’s going to get from point a to point b mimics pattern for which ants send signals down the line

primary things clicked for me, first pdc

we’re already doing this, just not on a holistic scale, just in these little niches, and people win awards for it

observing nature, apply its patterns to whatever you’re looking to do

standing back and observing

mind gets in the way, nature doesn’t have that

observation, then implementation, perpetual process

never a one and done thing

everything is revolving around observation of the system you have designed to mimic nature

merely humans a piece of nature

our ability is hindered

we have to sit back and observe and see where we were incorrect

see if our observation changes the course of the pattern

we can be benefactors of that production and consumption

TP: love that, some new giving me chills awesome riffs, definitely be integrating that, hadn’t heard about the ants,

for the person who is now thinking okay permaculture, its a way to somehow in the course of the course you will feel confident to begin thinking using the algos of nature

exemplifying that logic

closing that loops, inputs and outputs, systems feedings systems, things be elegantly designed, not a lot of wasted effort, not a lot of toil, so much leveraging of energy, pretty much infinite coming from the sun, capturing and storing, trip trap trip trap, capturing and storing energy, putting it work, gets in engineering

early permies, electrical and mechanical engineers, impulse to construct and build, fix, take apart,

masculine, tendencies, exploring nature

balance of energy of gaia and energy of guys

genders in between

once you get to point of super power of thinking like nature,

being abundant, feed yourself and community, heal landscapes

scale, fold fertility onto itself, green eco magic, green the city green the city, do anything

bill mollison, real rebel, reapplying more natural paradigm to death culture of industrial chemical, agriculture and farming

bridge in time line to where you’re doing commercial enterprise, taking horticulture and permaculture, fighitng the system of agriculture, by subverting it from the periphery, creating new strategies to feed people, that subvert the evil empire of ag,

how you deployed yourself for permaculture and against the dominant paradigm of ag

MM: a mantra I really have embodied within myself, creating the conditions for things to occur

biomimicry, learning how to create the conditions for things to occur, then standing back to see if you were right, if it worked

shotgun blast with certain things, put out a 1000 seeds, don’t always have a 1,000 seeds pop up, if you’re lucky, half will

not of same species, may not be a aware of whats going to cultivate under x given conditions

a lot of time talking about all these systems generally roll back to some form of capital, it made me think about a great book that’s out there, the 8th forms of capital, and the brother that has brought us together, while he has had amazing implementations of design, he’s also had an even greater effect from a social capital perspective, being able to bring us together, creating conditions for whatever to occur

group that we’re all associated with, through his social capital, knowing all of us, create conditions for things to occur

co-aligned over the years, and at this point co-aligned on a project moving forward

TP: permabros

beloved brother, 2009-10, first started hanging out, seeing these giant wall size dry erase boards with mind maps

epic, back yard and front yard permaculture food forest, really living the dream, tickles me to no end, this very moment could have very well been a thought bubble on one of his mind maps

#wetrainedforthis

we need to do our craft, take center stage in this moment, ambulance chaser, I’m doomsday prepper, permies seen as apocalyptic

realized, the curse of that world utopian, or utopianism, way for realists to moderate the visionaries

such a curse to be put in that category, destined to fail, like 99% of back to land projects of 70s, may as well stay right in center of system and follow their rules

I know how to hack that curse, as the world gets more dystopian, whatever was utopian 10 years ago, life before cell phones, families talk to each other at restaurants, reading books

utopianism is driving forward looking in rear view mirror

utopian urge to live like the ancestors

knifes edge of industrial progress

utopian that’s easy, parents they chopped wood, but we’re gonna have robots doing it

myopic cultural amnesia

bring it to what the fuck we are doing now

we have been in the shadows, training, doing our own things, and hoping that we can create personal abundance, share the teaching, fruits of labor, no pun intended, brings us into full on the story of this site we’re on, without blowing our opsec and giving it away

so the story of this property in the best way you can deliver it without blowing our cover until we’re ready to unveil offerings to the public

you were already in utopian impossible future before me, you’ve been in this very sweet spot for a quite a while, many things done right

zelda flute planted me here

said vows to spirits, I take care of you, you keep me here

ancestors, animals, plants, minerals, what do you need from me, how can I stay here

big slice of heaven, promised land

big thank you, back to question, what’s the story of this magical little slice of heaven on earth?

Mike Antipathy Eco Punk Logo

Forest Love and Rugged Collectivism with Eco-Punk Mike Antipathy TPP269

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In this episode I’m joined by my old dear friend Mike Antipathy for a trip down memory lane back to the eco-punk squatted forests of the pacific northwest

Contact Mike at safetypunk (at) gmail (dot) com

Check out his Eco Punk Column here: http://slugandlettuce.net/columns/eco-punk

My Non Verbatim Show Notes:

Old punk house, portland, or

vegan straight edge, deep ecology

trying to get land as a base to reclaim a bunch of everything

apathy and privilege rant

let’s get together and wreck shit

important for people of extreme left to get a dose of real back woods americana, politics of the constitution, boot strapping businesses, rugged diy attitudes

activist scene run by kids with trust funds

working in the woods cutting down trees

12 of use living in the house

kids traveling to europe, squatting we were stuck just working

bio region, forest, politically, right before WTO, big movement in portand, really exciting, coming off days of early 90s, nazis street fighting

more of a working class artist warehouse, used to ride bikes over there

spurkraft

first permaculture workshop with sasha scatter from icarus project

right as gentrification starting to crack, alberta, warehouse, the maul venue

liberation collective, all ages venues, record stores, collectives, solidarity and comradery across movements

wasn’t infected by super negative elitist eugene vibe

lot of toxicity

pre 9/11 heyday, more breathing room

anarchist collective network, stitch together different activities

the nuge survivalist workshop

backwoods skills

ted nugent documentary, metal heads joke about old rock and metal

he’s a deep character, people love to hate him, proto romance with survivalism

scheduled a workshop, the nuge workshop

school trustafarian crust punks, teach how to each things in the wild

virtues growing up working class white, grow up with guns, fire, chopping wood, machetes, watching red dawn 10,000 times

earth first heyday

Antipathy zine

13 going to record stores, super into Iron Maiden, Twisted Sister, Ozzy Osborne

Dead Kennedys

got out of abuse church, DK album cover, In God We Trust ep

Got that, had that song moral majority, nazi punks fuck off

Black Flag wasted era

Bad Brains

English stuff, Crass, Flux of Pink Indians, Rudimentary Peni

NY hardcore, politics dodgey but man the music

trying to get all the bands and all the music you can get into your head

Icky’s Tea house, 13th and Washington, venues in Eugene

Resist and Exist and Asylum gathering, apocalyptic mad max, profane existence, pull quote, a cross between braveheart and lord of the flies

portland was always weird, oregon’s mountains, everything drains into the columbia, eugene, the willamette, drains to columbia, then the pacific, punks metal heads queers, riot girls, drifted down stream to portland

big enough you could have this punk scene where you never had to associate with anyone else

hang out, you and the hippies, logger kids the smoked weed, eugene still had that, punks all hung out with the hippies, ravers, underground hip hop scene, cross cultural stuff wasn’t happening in portland

eugene had been a very very lefty, warren creek, saving last stands of old growth, feel into that hook line and sinker when I was 18

what if we had punk politics rebellion, bodies between trees and chainsaws, music festival, outreach, literature, speakers, connect kids to something bigger

Chaos Days 95

horror stories of the carnage

flyers for chaos days, 19 we rolled in thick, sf, turned out to be a bust

food not bombs

coming back man what if we did chaos days

get arrested for smart shit, icky’s sunshine the patron saint of all things counter culture, big shout out

just put in on man, I’ll make space for you, put out flyers, ads in maximum rock in roll, profane existence, slug and lettuce, booking

all the sudden 3000 punks from all over the world flooding eugene, raising hell, robbing liquor stores

city council meeting to lift camping ban, running for mayor

resist and exist, the punk scene in the 90s, trauma kids, mental illness

guy got throat slit, someone run over by train, skinhead problem

mutual aid network to defend selves from skin heads

sf scum fucks

horrible gang rape, intense shit

shows shut down

bands show up out of own pockets

road bike around eugene, underneath bridge, dystopia played, fanatics, all kicked off

skin heads showed up, starting shit, gutter punks, scum fucks, got super violent

watching all these gutter punks smashing heads with smilies, pivotal movement

for most of the people who survived times, extreme environments, a lot of us were idealist about a utopian pacifist anarchist, had to be tactical for the shows to happen, how much more anarchy could you get or could you want, we got what we prayed for, we got what we asked for, we just didn’t know at the time that we had it

asylum, chaos punx, train hoppers, amoral gangs, rape and pillage, mauraders, vandals, parasitized, they could have made a movie, decline of western civilization, hollywood drunx period, hdp

punk scene in la now is so good, love it so much

stiff little fingers show all old white people

where are the punks, where are the kids, everyone’s on their phone, filming, no ones dancing

the legend, troll, leader of the drunk punx

strung out, sweet kids

asylum, earth first going through growing pains

punk rock more radical, queer, take earth first to something more radical, bigger better world view than a bunch of straight dudes drinking coors

there’s this old growth, one stand, massive beautiful powerful trees, climbing 12 foot thick doug firs, we should do something about this

music festival in general area

some old log deck clearing, bands playing, workshops, invite all these different things a big presence will be this environmental movement,

sacred land don’t bring alcohol

earth first, going through wanting to have focused gatherings on sacred land, alcohol is really toxic and poison for a lot of native people

found amazing log deck up

not too far from hot springs

bands played all this water, everything was set up, kids from hollywood showed up

scum fuck kids from seattle showed up, turned into a warzone

van of alcohol rolls up, all the pc kids face the trauma kids

one night of bands, political kids fend off gnarly drunk punk trauma kids

giant orgy guy, with pick axe, taxing people for whatever they had, barbarian style

became orgy of violence and debaucherous robbery, primitive weapons

regroup in the city

h2h, the system created them, the system has to deal with them

never wanting to involve authorities in our bubble of anarcho punk utopia, felt we should have might, means, reasoning, collectivized consensus judicial systems to get through anything

at a certain point, it’s over our heads

notion that we should feel bad that we can’t handle the situation, we didn’t create it, the system did

we had that moment

pulled it together, relocate to new location

security meetings, perimeters

good times, hot springs, jumping off train bridge, made out in spin the bottle

bought manowar kinds of metal lp

really important that the music happened

remember driving away from the log deck, bitchin reservoir, Neil brought the food not bombs, legend, big shout out, still living the life,

he’d invite you over to his house to stay, vegan

driving away

whole arizona punk scene, really friendly, really tough

most of those hollywood kids are dead

good training for us wasn’t it

that was fucking raw man

sometimes you think you know what you’re life story is hinged on, the pivot points, now I’m realizing

eugene wasn’t a cult of john zerzan, it was a cult of group think

in the forest my heart chakra began to develop

fabric of punks, earth firsters, fall creek

almost half my life in l.a. I’m only in la because of the follow up

gotta recruit the foot soldiers of the punk movement, either apathetic or hyper political and don’t know what to do except book shows, make donations

the idea of living in off grind, anarchist community of earth first based, that whole tribal community, an experience not a lot of the radical punks got to have, I was blessed to eventually get there

when I first went to fall creek, camped there on and off for months

had that feeling I’ve got to mobilize the punk movement

went on us tour, ended up landing me in la for about 20 years, did bring some people out there

that was the spirit, how do we get these places protected, sorting through some of the really toxic riff raff and get some real eco warriors out there

give ourselves a toast, home break apple cherry cider

raising glass, bringing punks to the front line of fall creek

Mike Antipathy, eco punk column, antipathy zine

fall creek was one of the most dysfunctional fucked up environmental movements of its time, almost entirely staffed by trauma kids, a bunch died, from the trauma the ghosts, the demons they couldn’t escape, you don’t get into this shit unless something has gone really really sideways in your development

its a really good thing that we’re able to transform whatever bad shit happened to us into a desire to make the world a better place, not all of us get out of it

barely made it out of that, big glasses raised to all those people who didn’t make it, they were important

tribute to fall creek, and all the other people we’ve lost

fanzine, like to rant about stuff

look back, fuck

crazy, can’t believe it came out of my mouth, last one came out after 2000

super helpful

slug and lettuce, free newspaper all across the world, seen in south east asia, street punk market, stacks of slug and lettuce, out of the goodness of her heart

asked to write a column

reunification of rural roots, having been raised on a farm

if you think you can do forestry better, get up and do it

followed old generation earth firsters, we’re doing it better

fell into working on logging sites, tree climber, got into that, through that getting bigger and bigger in terms of work I was doing

talk about howling wolves, salmon run coming up the stream

print magazines for the subcultural left, and punk movement

internet, just too much, doesn’t matter

if you were gonna write a zine you had to put art, creativity, research, cut and paste, go places, to produce a zine the effort that would have to be made, was a heart work, don’t want to take that away from people who have blogs on the internet, but something to be said

generation gap between my youth and the new generation

back in my day joke, it was like this, walk 10 miles in the snow to get to school, american men, masculinity, their disgust and disdain at the softness of the next generation and how easy it is, and how they take things for granted and how privileged they are, it’s weird to now get that wisdom

thoughts on current punk scene, millenial, how have the millenials, picked up the culture of punk, amdist all the social media, big data, rigged and engineered algorithms, shadow ban you

where are we at with punk

super into, super into the way the young people are right now

really intense shit happening in the 80s and 90s not really as intense anymore

portland, nazis at shows mid to late 90s, now there’s not

didn’t see faces get stomped on curb, didn’t see heroin

go to a lot of shows, kids are so nice, so conscientious to each other

have more money these days, europe go to big punk fests, things are looking up, punks are leading the way, not doing the vapid shit of the sexy selfies so much

still around the scene, nothing moves me as much as my time, tour in mexico 2003, where I most dedicated most pure hearted, fabric of intergenerational punks, what I had always dreamed up

so cal pride

so much hate on millenials, being spoiled rotten, good to know

hopefully there will be more mentors

brings us through most of the chapters where we had been running in the same circles

get into some politics and some survivalist prepper stuff, debriefing on current events

take radical experiences and politics, cover tattoos and do ballsy work within the system

from that spirit of rugged collectivism, permaculture

zombie apocalypse fantasies where your mind at

wild, go into stores, shelved emptied of dumbest shit

not real scarcity

all the shit is still there, but people are freaked

two weeks a month of groceries so we’re not exposing ourself or contributing to more people dying

this is not the apocalypse I’d imagined I thought it was gonna have a lot more smoke, cop cars, sirens

y2k sitting in our mountain compound, waiting for the glow of burning cities in rural oregon, we were fuckin ready, bunch of dried beans

shit turned out to be a fuckin bust

unsung heros, not a geek or hacker, have to study info security, trying to catch up on what I had not been clued into, steve gibson, security now podcast, people laugh about how y2k was a non event, but only because the engineers busted their ass to make it not be

trippy point, I hear all these whistle blowers talk about how they’ve bungled the pandemic response, which governments have fucked everything up

if you do the proper preventative measures and you’re successful at preventing the catastrophe from happening, people will want to cut your budgets and say you’re wrong because it never happened, the thing you were predicting that you’re urging people to prepare for, if you’re effective at preparing for it and preventing it, then it’s not a thing, and people have cognitive dissonance, so then they get soft

south korea and singapore, more experience with SARS, culture of wearing masks

don’t get trampled on the way to the fema truck

live in a mexican neighborhood, exactly the same, stores are stocked, most people work in fields, not a lot of disposable income to buy all the toilet paper from costco

keeping local

not the apocalypse I wanted, where we got to be warlords

tin foil hat segment

some people scary, depending on where you are on the political spectrum, unraveling of world economy, opportunism, could go on some extreme tin foil hat

tin foil hat adventure

I don’t have much tin foil anymore

just being vegetarian, shopping in bulk, already had the bags of rice, nothing is out of wack, ammo from dead dad

have a 10 year old now, trying to teach him to be a better non toxic man

could be carriers of a virus that’s pretty gnarly

court systems all shut down

completely suspend habeas corpus, no right to speedy trial, indefinitely post poned

poor, mentally ill, mostly brown and black, get rid of the constitution indefinitely, let people linger for low level offenses

system’s even worse than we ever thought it was

not opposed to abolishing prisons, what are thoughts on trying to lesson density of over crowded prison, letting them out early into what, what’s their severance package, where they gonna go

prop 47, all the sudden supposed to let all the drug possession felonies, made it all misdemeanors, lack of treatment

gabor mate, science, trauma, addiction

prosecutors and cops running on 1950s notions, anyone who touches drugs is evil

most people in justice system don’t have experience with drugs and trauma, they should let more prisoners out

prisons make us less safe, prison increasingly traumatized, I don’t know

this whole system was made by slave owners

positive note, decriminalize nature movement, spreading across the nation, decriminalized plant and fungi entheogens

some jurisidictions, diversion programs incorporate trauma healing with entheogens

don’t feel hopeful about it, california is fascist as fuck, last place that does anything healthy with that as a state

state banned gay marriage on purpose in 2008, california is so completely backwards

I don’t think it’s gonna happen

despite people kicking heroin with iboga

not gonna have access to that healing modality, federally still illegal

things are getting worse legally than they ever have been, with exception of immigration

the state is going to take excess in as many directions as they can, then have to be austere in enforcement in other things

numbers of police departments, knocked out because of sick or quarantine

foreshadowing for emergent properties of anarchy that were never imagined

even losing of parking restrictions

dimensions of freedom that are unenforceable

we’re blessed to have the internet as long as it lasts

getting more into traditional survivalist communications, ham radio, late bloomer on, trying to go through thought experiments, what will you never forgive yourself if you don’t have this prep dialed in, you take for granted, you’re be said you didn’t prioritize what that was, everyone has a different checklist

I’m feeling pressure on as general question that can apply to anybody

no easy to cover ass, cover assets, do proper estate planning, what if you can’t do updated last will because you can’t assemble the witness you need to sign the document, government is doing all kinds of digitization of procedures

officially time stamp my intention

whatever is left after paying minimal debt, executor of will, power of attorney they would take some percentage to pay themselves for the time to sort out what intellectual property I have and what potential revenue streams may be funneling into my estate, decided I want whatever is net gain of my estate, to actually be distributed among non profits, I have no heirs, that are individuals, would rather structure something where I can say, here’s a list of non profits, I would want it distributed equally among the, 3 I have in mind are the Red Brigade in lucknow india,sexual abuse and rape survivors banded together to make most bad ass indian version of a riot girl collective, teaching each other self defense and martial arts, self policing neighborhoods, most bad ass warrior kung fu clan, martial arts masters from all over the world have gone to volunteer to train them, and give them seminars, they’ve set up non profit donations, part should go to them, part to the Women’s Visionary Congress, and the Decriminalize nature movement, all these represent what has kept me alive, and allowed me to transcend my traumas, I don’t know if what I said would hold up in any legal proceeding, at least this will exist til the paper work can happen

now everyone has a reason to do the unthinkable, do the estate planning

spoke to mother, here’s my plan, let me know your plan, this is a bridge we have to think about crossing

5 wishes, template to know how you have to frame things like how you want to be buried, what ritual you want around that, so people can’t abuse you after you’re gone, protect your soul:

I want to put this out, time stamping this conversation:

I would like to be cremated, and buried while planting a fruit or nut tree so that I sign can be posted saying here lies ben lawson feel free to piss on his grave and nitrify this fruit tree and if you ever cut it down or let it die, I’m gonna come back and haunt your ass

if you can donate organs donate organs

freeze my brain so my bitcoin holding will be worth gazillions more by the time they thaw me out

been trying to catch up on many years lost on anarcho primitivism versus cryptoanarchism

hacker punks, manifestos of crypto anarchy in early 90s, legacy of hacker collectives, the talk of the wall street billionaires, government officials abandoning their posts to join the movement

this is the thing you could commiserate on, I never believed anything anarchist came up with would be competitive with incumbent systems

they actually built something that was competitive, was able to out compete

line malcolm x once said, make the old system obsolete, they era that we were in , the analogy of how astonishing it is they were able to make millionaires and billionaires out of this hacker implementation of cryptography, it’s like saying food not bombs was so loved and so competitive with mcdonalds, kfc, everyone started showing up and paying everyone at food not bombs, fnb became the cherished favorite food of all americans, you never would have thought that something out of the anarchist caldron of creativity, would actually do that, without brute force, without violence, with an elegant ninja tactic, actually out manuver the system, and give it a run for its money, literally, and that’s what’s happened, something I’ve tried to catch up on, not for everybody to learn all the nuts and bolts, gotta raise the glass to all the geeks and hackers that I’ve always fuckin respected, the ones that told me that I shoulda fuckin paid attention to this and I was too busy huggin trees, I coulda bought those timber sales

thing with environmental movement is that a lot of the stuff we got out of that wasn’t actually what we went in there for, it was all those other lessons, we saved precious few forests but we learned a lot more, that you would never have learned if you were sittin in a dark apartment writing code and buying bitcoin

something to be said about wild forests, skinny dippin in natural waters, and smellin your own body odor and smellin your own shit everyday, those are formative things, that make us better

couldn’t have said it better, love you brother

no small contribution you’ve made to my life

stay wild

always remember, every day when I wake up I remember that quote, whatever keeps the barrel out of your mouth, that’s the proper way to live

Jessica Moon In a Boat Smiling

Mindfulness, Nature Immersion, and The Pacific Crest Trail with Jessica Moon TPP241

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In this episode I’m joined by Jessica Moon for a conversation on mindfulness, nature immersion, and hiking the Pacific Crest Trail for 5 MONTHS!

About Jessica:

Jessica Moon is a Stress Management Coach who focuses on Mindfulness and Nature Immersion as vehicles for powerful healing and evolution. From many years in corporate America to hiking the Pacific Crest Trail, Jessica has a broad range of life experiences that has provided her the insight to guide and transform in her one on one coaching practice. She is an advocate for mental health awareness and diversity in the outdoors, and active in building her local community.

Instagram: @jessicamoonco

My (non verbatim) notes:

TP: Jessica Moon, old dear friend, along the ride of tantra punk journey since very beginning around 2013, was shocked to find that name hadn’t already been turned into some sort of persona online, hopefully I’ve done my best

she’s way beyond a supportive friend, an inspiration, somebody who’s kept me on a very ethical and conscious path, has given me lots of great feedback

talk about her path, eco psychology, forest bathing, many ways to look at benefits of spending time in nature, deep personal journeys of long distance hiking

extra bonus, you might recognize her silky voice as the voice of the outro on all of my episodes, does a wonderful job of doing the wrap up details, its a treasure to have that mystery voice be on the podcast

JM: working on getting people outdoors, help people see benefits of being immersed in nature, millennials , anyone can benefit, remove barriers to help people really benefit

start when I younger and in college I was a sexual health peer mentor for my university, worked with my peers to educate them on health topics, disseminated health and hygiene products through the outreach center, help become more empowered

after graduated, joined nature center, help plan ecological programs and events, natural conservation for the city, got to work with variety of people

it was a very beautiful experience to be intimately connected with these people, very active motivated hikers, some people who’d never spent time even at a park

really wanted to help people have a more enjoyable, more intimate experience with natural world

then got into corporate world, for about 5 years, it was good to learn a lot of skills, but definitely aching, stress, heaviness of not having that immersion that I used to have

caught up in career, societies idea of success, lost connection with self, deep connection with natural world

year, decided to hike pacific crest trail, had been training, reconnecting with mountains, beaches, when I took the leap, and left for the trail, such a transformation from being immersed in the wilderness, back country for 5 months, feel completely at peace now that I’ve had that experience, affirmed, not everybody can take that much time off their life

but any amount of time is so beneficial, now that I’m back, into the science, philosophy, how to get more nature time into our busy lives, liberating motivating

TP: want to get into the drama of this whole arch of preparing, doing some permaculture the other day, mentioning we were gonna talk about this, the PCT, how do people survive, you can’t bring a semi truck water tank that drives behind you, what are the amenities on the trail, he said people will send selves care packages, I don’t really have a clue

JM: the resupply logistics, first, instead of one really long trip, think of as series of 3 to 5 day, sometimes more than 7 days depending on snow, how quick you hike, generally 3 to 5 days, given that , hiker hunger, metabolism working so hard, never felt hunger like that before, if you think about it as you’re going town to town, long series of small backpacking trips, you can self packages ahead of time, my strategy was I resupplied in town, if you’re lucky, supermarkets, sometimes just gas station, generally you know, or if you didn’t ask around, anticipate that, if you go get into a town with a big grocery store, buy food, ship it forward, only did for really small towns, didn’t want to eat pop tarts and snicker bars, backpacking food, if you don’t go really expensive route, has a lot more nutrients compared to options like instant ramen, after a while, can’t eat this any more, try to mix it up, hit up bulks, blessing to find bulk section, keeping an open mind, would have been hard if I had any dietary restrictions if I was vegan or gluten intolerant, I would have done more sending myself ahead of time, its really not that much cheaper or convenient to send yourself the boxes ahead of time, you’re tastes change

you don’t have a car, last thing you want to do is walk more

TP: from prepper survivalist world, lot of people in fantasy land, vision of how their gonna be so fit, prowess, bad ass, when zombie apocalypse happens, but they’re not conditioning in the mean time, but the experience of doing this endurance drill, makes me think everything has to be so tightly economized, efficiency, variables to consider, you’re probably better prepared for anything to go wrong, then people who make a whole life style out of being a prepper, tripping me out

could you tell me about some of the sort of dietary life hacks that you came up with, as some one doing this frugally, out of necessity, on a budget, how to have healthy food and not junk food

JM: does take a toll, body type can’t just eat anything, when I was on trail, I was like omg I can eat chips and candy, I really felt terrible, I really need to take care of myself, I was like okay I really need to change the trajectory of my nutrition, took a lot of supplements, glucosamine , multivitamin, try to pick up juice shakes, I needed that because when you’re on the trail, you have to consider weight right, weight expense and convenience

for example, you can get tuna packets, just a staple for hikers, thing about them, not terribly expensive, but not cheap either, on cost, in the circle of the through hikers, most people agree it’s about $1000 a month, on a tighter budget its possible to hike less, you’re gonna be spending less time in town, if you’re a social person its a fun part of the experience to explore the town

if you’re on a tight budget its definitely possible to do the hike on less, buy the food in bulk previously

dehydrating food at home and sending forward, people get sick of the same food, but you can spend a lot more on the trail as well, stay in hotel, one bed vs 6 hikers, or alcohol, or deserts, depends on person, average person not super luxurious is about $1000, barrier to entry is not accessible to everybody, it is a big trip, felt very privileged that I had opportunity

TP: bullet points, staple macro nutrients, can feel you on the weight and price, on that path as urban survivalist, trying to figure out what my pallet will enjoy and what my guts will handle, I could have the most Bourgeoisie, organic fresh catered diet to the maximum degree of what I know is the ideal, but if I did that I wouldn’t be able to do anything else, joke about “whole paycheck”

but I do believe in my heart of hearts that there are life hacker ways to have extreme frugality, but have extreme nourishment, bulk, group buys, I’m curious for you, fats, proteins, carbohydrates in that framework, stuff you could tolerate the longest, didn’t make you sick, sweet spot of weight and cost, ramen doesn’t cut it

JM: biggest thing for me, that I bough dehydrated vegetables, basically a soup mix, in bulk, just add it to everything, find the vegetables that you like, if you have a dehydrator, I would say incorporating vegetables into your diet no matter what, can eat dried meat, jerky, bison bars, sausage, tuna or chicken pouches, but if you just have that, you’re lacking that balance,

really enjoyed dried, pre prepared beans, really not that expensive, compared to bison bar, or higher end nut butters, just dried beans, make sure they’ve been dehydrated as cooked beans, they’re like bean flakes, if you’re vegan or something, or if body can’t tolerate fat anymore, its really high fat out there, powered humus also an option

sunflower seeds are really cheap

also drink powders, couldn’t handle the sugar, protein powders keep you full

cheeses work really well, lactose intolerant, but a popular lunch was a flour tortilla, summer sausage, and hard cheese

things like spam, powdered eggs, dehydrated milk, I really enjoyed dried veggies, dried fruits

chilli mangos was a treat, new technologies for much lighter, dehydrated and freeze dried veggies and fruits

really liked raw stuff, everything was so dry, and processed, but things like nutritional yeast, everything but the bagel package, sauce packets, miso soup, chicken noodle soup, powdered taco mix

lots of sodium and preservatives, but they’re light, cheap, last a long time, if in a pinch they have something to offer

I just bit the bullet and got green juices, or super food mixes whenever I could afford it

avoid ramen, so many other things available, entire bagels, last for a few days, instant rice and potatoes, always a staple, nan flat bread, corn tortillas don’t last very well, whole slices of bread, couscous was really popular

you have you’re good old trail mix, mixing it up and making it different, you really start to despise it

TP: shifting into more paleo and keto trend if you will, and so I’ve been experimenting a lot with build seeds, grinding into a more palettable form, powdered tahini, from bulk sesame seeds, grinding down to pumpkin seeds, mixing with coconut oil, like bread and butter, get that experience but it’s low carb, more protein, then having that fat, thinking about weight factor

were people bringing tubs of coconut oil or was it just too much weight, olive oil or other oils, calorie dense but you can’t eat that that much of it

JM: lots of oil, add a scoop of coconut oil to your meal, delicious, add more calories, seen people carrying full glass bottle of hot sauce, to spice things up, seen someone carry a glass jar of coconut oil

when for lighter right

went for single use coconut packets, a light way to incorporate into meals, trying to avoid highly processed carbs, I don’t make me feel that great

nuts, sunflower seeds, chia hemp and flax seeds also in my diet

they’re just delicious

TP: sprouting seeds and recycling water?

JM: read about a woman who sprouted just in a tupperware, poked holes, put a piece of cheese cloth, had fresh greens all week

broccolli, peas, lentils, alfalfa, also there was a time where there was a bunch of rain, miners lettuce foraging in oregon, what if I just threw some of that in to my ramen

TP: what level of foraging is legal/desirable, plant ID nerds, not gonna survive 100% but hope they wouldn’t be too restrictive about that kind of stuff

JM: I really can’t say, if we’re allowed to, it’s a protected trail, but in oregon you have to have a permit to forage for wild mushrooms, also, I definitely eat the huckleberries on the trail that were everywhere, just so many

TP: some things are invasive too, its a benefit

JM: thank you these giant berries we’re going into the trail

if I had a little more confidence in local flora and fauna, know for sure you can’t hunt, if it was permissible I’d totally lead a group, let’s get launch, wild mustard, miners lettuce, local invasive plants, didn’t have personal experience foraging, other than the berries

TP: people not yet in romance with nature yet, remember when I didn’t feel a romance with nature, grew up playing in woods, at the beach, wasn’t a deep yearning to connect with something I’d never known, didn’t feel deprived, took it for granted, video games started to eat my childhood, I don’t want to say disenchanted, I can commiserate with the people who feel like they feel more excitement from video games, socializing, hipster strips, when go out to nature I’m bored, cynical earlier in life, then rekindled romance through gardening, seeking healing, would love to have you in your words, help people feel into the shifts and transformation and deep soul tissue healing that’s happening, if you could romanticize the journey

JM: I think just to start it off, if you’re not in love, or find yourself bored, but you’re stressed out, want to work on health, nurture it better, just like to share, some of the research that is, where we are right now with nature immersion is where yoga was, in terms of more mainstream, widespread, growing body of research combined with intuitive understanding, tipping point, health researchers, government, very progressive, bring nature to people’s every day lives, it can lower stress hormone levels, reduce nervous system arousal, enhance immune system function, decrease anxiety, improve mood, help with aggression, accelerate healing

highly stimulated in this world now, if you want to try, give it a chance, big study, 20k people, people who spent 2 hours a week in green spaces, parks, neighborhood with a ton of trees, just hanging out and removing yourself from urban environment, traffic, noise, any kind of natural environment, either all at once or spaced out, like taking 10 minutes on launch break, fresh air, giving self space

attention restoration theory, allows brain to restore, allows cognition, your brain giving it space and time to relax, when you go back to desk or work, cognition levels are much better

little things like that, if you’re not someone who gets super excited, its such an easy thing, give yourself 10 minutes, 2 hours a week spread out, try it

when we make something important, our health, mental health, emotional states, spiritual states, at very least, relax and think, relax and not think, taking time to do that, make it important, have that connection with natural space it will begin to show itself to you

a friend that is not trying to tell you what to do with your life, or unsolicited advice, they’re just there, allow you to work through whatever you’re going through

natural world all of the patterns that exist in that space are things that as humans we’ve evolved with, all very familiar

one quote I really love, from scientist who was a pioneer for forest bathing Japan, “we are visually fluent in the patterns of the natural world, because we evolved in the scenery of the natural world we can process its patterns easily, it is this fluency that relaxes us”

TP: stress less, talk to the nature painting, talk to the landscape

JM: with my own business, researching so much, why isn’t this more popular, why isn’t this more well known

allow attention to restore our brains, to chill out, thinking tests better, in New York, some crazy busy place, even just looking at pictures of nature, videos, listening, put on headphones listen to nature sounds

all of that is beneficial, so it’s like why not

not the most stimulating, in terms of instant gratification, but if you make your health, mental health, emotional state, a priority, 10 minutes a day for you to level up

TP: PSA for gamers, as of just very recently Santa Cruz has joined Oakland, decriminalize entheogenic plants and fungi, the whole suite of plant derived entheogens, still federally highly regulated, but just like cannabis, this movement is growing very fast, #decriminalizenature, I feel like for me what shift was the romance with nature 10xed when I started to integrate dancing in the garden with psychedelics, because all of that dopamine you’d get from slaying dragons in a video game world, you’ll be that thrilled just watching the flow of nature, and being a part of it, and doing your own shadow work, and having nature spirits help you with that

don’t want impose that narrative on our work

JM: hemp will save the world environmentally

TP: what are some of the more cinematic moments

JM: very very beautiful views are conducive of these type of moments, knowing that when you’re looking out on this beautiful landscape, mountain peaks, feel very small, but very connected, look out and see all these pieces of me, subatomic particles, everything is me, and I am it, really grounding type of experience to have, look out, wow all the issues I’m struggling with or limiting factors, or negative head space, all that just dissipates, because you put things into perspective, look into the night sky, see the stars, and you just, sense of awe, and admiration, and deep respect, when you are just so connected, just in tune

TP: I feel that, live for those vistas, any times where equipment failed, or got soaked, freezing, suffer through a night, moments of triumph

JM: I would say nature is cruel but powerful mistress, so like, in the same way that it will guide me into this revelation about absolute awe adoration, at the same time I’ve been cold, and hungry, and so defeated, but I think those are the moments when we’re struggling, going through change, extreme internal conflict due to weather and terrain, you’re able to grow, I have so much respect for nature, those experiences teach you how to tap into your grit, drive is more important than intrinsic motivation, which is fleeting, tap into own tenacity, hardship

when things are gravy at home, stressed out from work or life, but physically when you are drenched, no placed to put your tent, or snow, post holing thigh deep, on side of mountain gotta get off but sun is setting

even just being out there and pushing yourself is honestly the best way to make a transformation, quickest and most impactful way

meditation is very powerful and important, but holy moly I just did that, very immediate evolution when you experience that kind of physical challenge

just think about it, anytime you get pummeled in the ocean, I respect you so much, I will not through trash in you, I’m just a naked human, a flesh bag

TP: break up, death of loved own, quitting smoking or drinking, seems like any kind of major shift or transition even if its just a week, sounds like you’re a great person to be an evangelist for this, and it’s not a pill that you just take and pay big pharma to have you on a pill for the rest of your life, hopefully get off anti-depressants, I can feel that

we’ll have you back to talk more about your business, thought about doing meet ups, I was just exposed to night hiking, maybe we’ll be looking forward to what you have to offer, more than welcome to promote

JM: for now, instagram up, jessicamoonco on instagram, hoping to launch officially next month if you are stressed out, want some mindfullness guidance and encouragement to get out doors, definitely check me out, jessicamoon.co forthcoming

TP: heart ached when you told me you were in a corporate career, didn’t hear the exhuberance in your voice when you told me about it, glad it served you well for business administration, training for solopreneur, blessings to everyone who thrives in that environment, having known you at the peak of your youthful enthusiasm for exploration and breaking rules and being a rebel, I’m so thrilled to know that everything is coming full circle for you.

I had similar story of it being incongruent with spirit/soul being in a cubicle, but knowing when I was in corporate environment I was mining the experience so I wouldn’t just be a broke ass hippy, I’d know how to take a penny and make two pennies with out

JM: thank you so much for having me, thank you so much for your attention and hope we can get out doors, level up, hope you have a beautiful week

TP: been a treasure and blessing, much love to you and all your beloveds

Santa Cruz Decrim Nature

Santa Cruz Decriminalizes Plant and Fungi Entheogens TPP236

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In this episode I share the audio recording from the Santa Cruz city council vote that decriminalized entheogens:

Resolution declaring that the investigation and arrest of individuals twenty-one (21) years of age and older involved with the adult personal use and personal possession of entheogenic psychoactive plants and fungi listed on the Federal Schedule 1 list be amongst the lowest priorities for the City of Santa Cruz.

Read more at:
https://merryjane.com/news/santa-cruz-just-decriminalized-all-natural-psychedelics

Lose Your False Mind, Find Your True Self & Learn to Feel Good Inside with Craig Lewis TPP214

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Craig Lewis pic

In this episode I’m joined again by long time friend and brother from the heart of the d-i-y punk scene Craig Lewis for a update on his adventures in travel, personal growth, recovery, mental health justice, spirituality, sexuality, and much more.

There are many profound spiritual truths and gems of sacred wisdom shared. I’m always deeply reaffirmed that our shared deep roots in the ethics and spirit of resistance from the punk rock movement have kept us motivated to fight the good fight and love the good love.  It’s invigorating to catch up with Craig and compare notes as we push ourselves ever forward towards our own evolving definitions of what it means to be spiritual warriors.

About Craig:

Craig Lewis is a rebel and he chooses to live his life built on a foundation of gratitude, peace, love, kindness, spirituality, accountability, honor, forgiveness and acceptance. He is currently living in a mountain in Mexico, seeking truth, healing and connection. Without question, Craig continues to rise ever higher on his mission to be the living proof to all, that surviving the impossible, is entirely possible.

Craig recently published his book ‘Better Days’ in Finnish, Dutch, Spanish, Tagalog and Thai, with several new translations on the way including Kiswahili and Italian.  Find out about his many books, posters and more here: Sanityisafulltimejob.org (under construction) and also via email.

Craig actively trains mental health workers, educators, people in recovery (and all interested people) throughout the world and is excited about benefiting your organizations and the lives of all via his experience, wisdom and fearlessness. 

Medium Blog: https://medium.com/@punx.in.recovery
Whatsapp: 528332944654
Punx.in.recovery@gmail.com

AI Generated Transcription:
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello David Lebovitz welcome to Township on podcast episode number 214 will be getting some major updates from our international Man of Mystery been on the show a few times before Craig Lewis you said old friends are going back many years in the anarcho-punks seen in the more radical conscious seen and he is standing in the world of pure support and mental health and really growing and transcending beyond the the system’s way of administering public policy around mental health and really taking the power back and using a DIY Spirit to do so and last time or what we’ve been since we’ve talked last I know a lot of Adventures have unfolded and and a lot of Mystique and a lot of intrigue so with all that said Craig take it away. What’s been going on with new oh my god brother it’s been I think the last time we spoke was in February to do to do a proper the discussion like this was in February of last year so it’s like I don’t know if 15 months are 16 months ago if I’m not mistaken yeah so yeah man yeah it’s been one heck of a crazy wild ride and I now live in a mountain I am in the south of Mexico and I am in a place it’s a bit hard to get you unless you have any intention to go there you make a plan and I have an apartment I got a place to live that’s affordable and I have a terrorist live off the plants and the mountains all around and hunting birds and cats that visit and live with me I don’t think the language and I’m learning and I’m just for the first time for lots of reasons this finding some sort of I don’t know how to describe it some sort of acceptance of the rationality of everything and finally some sodas thanks and all of it to be able to be in the moment and take that and transform into whatever this I dream about and end desire in a nutshell that’s where I’m at this is awesome and you sound better than ever and I know you’ve been through so much some intense inner struggles and external struggles and now to be at that place of peace and sounds like relative kind of resolution to to be posted up somewhere and then I actually have this is something I’m really fascinated in which is the economics of being a traveler in the in the modern age in the sort of how you can are you figuring out ways to economize with your resources and find ways to make your money last longer by being posting up on your travels places where you can just kind of make it stretch and last longer when can you get into some of the economics of that of that way of life cuz it’s very fascinating to me I’d love to do more traveling myself oh yeah I will check this out, man it’s a freaking disaster III what economics are we speaking of like it’s funny I landed here with a backpack okay I I had a little bit of money to just place to get a house and I’ve been like it’s been a very challenging experience to find some sort of sense of any sort of like this world episodes like some sort of solid foundation on a music and this whole crazy like a year-and-a-half will plus I like all over the world husband Ace Financial how do I describe it I don’t have like a mighty long time ago this is been like I don’t want to I do want to break up Bon Jovi cuz this is been like what we would that when they would sing in 1986 this is what they called living on his neck no other way to describe it because that’s exactly what I know to be true but so this is all crazy like how do you live how do you survive how do they make this happen I don’t think I had a choice and I think the only way I was going to heal and I get to the next place in my life to get to the next place to get to the next place what’s the not know what the heck I was doing and just trust that I did letting you know you know me I give like the roundabout Circle answer that’s like the opposite of the answer you’re seeking or the or the S you would expect or anticipate the question but that’s what you get for me so that’s my answer brother what actually did I half expected something like that where it was more I can see the strategy and being uncertainty Jake and the spontaneity of going where the wind blows you know and in following just moment-to-moment that’s that’s the dream I mean that’s the most Freedom you could ever have is to not be bound to even your own plans of your own expectations of anything in and just really trust a if I’m blessed then I’ll get fed and in Shelter tonight and if I’m not then I’ll have to wonder why with the empty stomach on the cold side park somewhere a man and I don’t like that empty stomach and I also want to just briefly go back a second before I go forward the moment I said that the answer that you were expecting I knew that was the incorrect thing to say and I immediately followed by saying the opposite because I knew that you’re not expecting that it’s like this like comfortable thing that we do when we’re communicating we make use of something that we put into the conversation but actually that’s bullshit you are understanding me more than most people would so thank you yeah crazy life man this whole reality is just you can live and people will see your heart and don’t understand that the language or how you look or you come from or any of these things they don’t matter what matters is that you can communicate from what is truly what they knew in your heart that they will see that and they will accept that and that’ll bring you the protection on the help and the loves and that everything that you need for real I love a man yeah that does that leaves Faith conduct actually reminds me something funny why I say this with all due respect cuz this fellow is one of my dear friends and we’ve sent drifted apart but but we used to be tight Bros and it was funny in a way because he came from a way more stable family and had he works really hard to be an overachiever and I watched him work harder than anybody so I don’t say that he was like a born with a silver spoon in his mouth or whatever he wasn’t he was privileged but he also was pushed to to Really develop himself but she did all the extracurricular activities and did the honours and did all this crazy prep work and and and built himself up so that he could be ivy league material to go to college and then he’d end up finding a program at a state college or State University that that he was happy with and we know I’m happy with location happy with the programming cetera and I me I dropped out literally in sixth grade was in and out of rehab and got maybe another couple of former formal semesters of high school and then dropped out again after that and then I a couple years later I got a GED and then we both end up starting at the same State University together at the same the same time and I had that been the complete antithesis of the discipline and academic rigor that he put in and we both started the same place even though we had to come about it until we different ways but I also was getting straight A’s and was dedicated so I think this is just you know that all that is to say there’s people who are rich and unhappy and don’t know what to do themselves and they’re throwing all kinds of money away and all kinds of drugs and experiences and you’re going at this is international expiration with you’re surrendering to a to the Divine forces that are guiding your your your destiny and that and I’m always impressed I’m always jealous Pac-Man you ear like living it up with the fuck all you got to do and I’m going out there listening who wants to know how to how to do it on doing are you going to do like why am I crazy like I thought I thought I had and this is the opposite of what I however I should I should restate that live your dreams like to be free to live their dreams you have to have like the Living Like Blood Parts select thing beating out of you and you have to take it and learn how to take it standing up and then smile and how does a gold medal physical and emotional heart function but for some reason on Earth why don’t you just finish it down was it yesterday in the morning and you say because I want to know of a solution and all you got is like you and Siri are you going to still that hard up with something of beauty they’re going to just like let it become like like Houston broken and like crap the pieces like a kisses ceramic that shatters and so many ways that you can’t apply the consumer D art form to like naked better to make it more gorgeous from before I don’t want to let it get to that man in so I didn’t it shows different that’s all you can do right on Manuel what does I think that’s a good sort of just catching up with bed and instead of setting the tone butt so tell me what what have you what are some of the the you’ve been through some nightmare scenarios give us some adventurous kind of thrilling updates on the record and say cuz we are because I don’t say it just lost my mind National way for me or anyone in a kind of situations that I found myself in such as being normal and that’s remember I did it start out normal normal I need to really not know what with all those pills in the nozzle Octonauts and not normal shit was it normal that had that brain injury was it normal that everything went crazy wasn’t normal so here I am like at the base of my life or the beginning of my new life not normal and so like I’m just so freaking proud of myself then I’m alive in Christ figure it out somehow that it was okay to be fucked up in the eyes of others that it was okay to like cars had your relationships and your familial connections and your volume note to Garrison in old friends and colleagues at all if that is okay. Burnt to the ground that it doesn’t actually matter I took to stick around that that and I can’t believe you this is just a process like a moment to moment. This is hard to do the Okemos but I decided to be okay with it cuz I like the sound of that word okayness like okay I want to see I don’t want this palatable how to build in my life just want to go to handle something because well it’s not great but thanks for that you know that okayness and dust you choose to be so all this shit this happened man I can admit that I know that some of it looks real wild and it looks one way and it could be another we live in a reality where we look at the freaking news in the United States obviously something is wrong in society is this also confused and 504 West so you know what I got it I got to stay right there you you have just stumbled upon a masterful mine hack and I am seeing from the outside Dimension as you’re saying but basically what you just described is that we live and we live in this world where the ships hitting the fan and there’s a lack of people feeling a sense of okay now and I really feel like we need to become more comfortable with with all week and we need to deal with our shit so we can feel the Okemos if you catch my drift I catch your drift Iko something’s been plaguing me on the inside because through the process I got it I want to admit it putting you and everyone in that everyone if you are not including everyone that’s a funny thing you know why cuz I respect the heck out of you and I’ve been like it’s been such a long exhausting journey of knowing you that for me is included me being embarrassed and people mixed with you who I just noticed this man was like surviving so much better than me and I keep coming this beautiful human being that I only dreamed like 3 years ago or whatever we got to reconnecting and I am pathetic and somehow believe I have you feel like we’re on the same level of me I mean I have nothing but but like respect for you by Prince you’ve accomplished so much and you’ve accomplished things that I am still still dreaming about accomplishing so it’s it’s a mutual you know Mutual sensitive of respect and admiration man it’s always so it’s the way it should be mad it’s like to skateboard is trying to learn learn new tricks together you know thank you man and thank you and the reason why I came I was about to say what I’m about to say this because the process of the journey this is bent for me is not just included me it’s included lots of other people sung by choice and then probably just a son who just ended up in the crossfire of my life because of other reasons that they may may may not have been aware of or been aware of their participation and and and it’s not okay to not swear on the show oh my God they say it’s because because I hurt all the time give a presentation on anyways and so that’s kind of what kind of what works for me man and his wife said that like cuz I look up to you as somebody who has just like refining for himself and it’s showing the whole world like this is what it looks like to be in a process of yourself and be better with better and better and better I was like my God I could never be anywhere near the degree of what are some sleep when you go through the process of becoming you when you’re like burns down and you don’t know what to do in the fall Society is his his his either confused with you you’re a huge mistake the doctor that’s a Schism you just get into situations that could be desperate and you might not know that you’re desperately might not know you getting into you might not know it’s going to happen next cuz how could you and then you get into this situation where you get into things with people with money and then Todd relationship stuff cuz I was like a weird dude already have to learn how to be like in today and all this crazy shit that I don’t know about your kid and like you’re always conduct yourself in the way that you wish and I wish you felt embarrassed that like this like how did you get here like one of these crazy stories amazing stories that I want to share with you a few but it wouldn’t be fair to me to the universe who knows me and watches this happen at the end of my reality who was the recipient or have experienced just knowing somebody in whatever way when they go into the burning down with your going through the process of Awakening that’s an ugly and painful and frankly does a lot of people who got caught up in that and I would every day with the with trying to like become more pure knowing how screwed up things worth time and knowing that your casualties to getting to a better place and that’s just a preface if you will to talk and but all the good cuz frankly like recently somebody had posted something online in response to something I’d written and they said they dude guy Craig I was like yeah really you ask cuz this wasn’t for me I’m in the process of doing fasting from social media and the more I take a step back from it the less I want to return back into that that mine state and f deleted some accounts I’ve just taken some apps off my phone Note sometimes I bring them back or not but I know a lot of the frenzy that you would get sucked into with trolling and drama online at school it’s Way Beyond normal human capacity to have any level of that kind of interaction and so I think everybody got everybody’s got taken for a ride and I think there’s only a few people who who. So I just burnt out but but really Purge that that toxic soup of emotions that comes from being in that frenzy and actually has the wherewithal to create distance so I’m wondering I mean you wrote the book on on peer supported mental health and now it seems like you’re going to have to write a book all about how to either navigate or avoid or moderate social media right wow the funny thing is that a you’re right about the social-media thing dude I want to write letters I think I love the fact that we can communicate and all this shit then it is just destructive Beyond any any you or you do understand cuz we’re taking the brakes and destructive Beyond any capacity that I have to use to find a better word with my. If I may say so Larry man like I totally feel that makes think about it it’s not constructive most the time when you’re not dealing with people who have skin in the game to a point where they feel like they’re they have to be accountable to not overdo insults and overdue criticisms it’s like if you were a tribe living together and you knew everybody everybody knew each other since birth and everybody was mutually interdependent for survival then you would have restraint when it comes to the extent of abuse that you would tolerate that you were perpetuate but when you’re totally disconnected then you have no skin in the game for survival with you with a group of people it is literally the most unconstructive way to process emotions information actual important social issues and Community issues that come up so please man yeah go out let’s just open that can of worms and laments profusely about that I think people need to get some that shaking out of that Paradigm will be well I think it’s constructive thing to do with all this beat it because there’s so many to choose from in my in my soda. I was thinking about that you asked me to write a book about social media like crazy out-of-control the truth is always some truth behind what’s going on that’s funny or not funny or not is that this really happens I like a guy ask you know if I hear you perfect out of control destructive I wish you could see right now and if you like like lights flashing I’m actually having my hands in the air like I am the king of the awful idle control crazy person public meltdown we shouldn’t be who I am today if I celebrate that ships the best baby should be a book or went to learn how to not do what I did cuz maybe my way is not the right way for everyone but the reality also is the Crux of all that is that the freaking internet and that social media chaos that I was unprepared for is it crazy person adult trying to find his way that was destructive they probably not just for me probably thousands of people or more out there who taught Derek distances that collapsed because they didn’t know how to manage cuz how could you learn if you didn’t know how yeah that is so Insidious it just creeps up and with so many things now I mean that it’s it’s cliche to talk about how the dystopian sci-fi of the 1980s which was what really Prime me for being prepared to deal with this time and being a warrior in this time and it digital Warrior and I still despite that training of of being skeptical of corporate fascist media Empires and what not I I live drink of plenty of their Kool-Aid and now I’m really thinking about how much I’ve leaked about my interests my desires that people who have wanted to be involved with romantically and the processes of all that stuff is basically being molested by those social media Giants and and I’m glad that I did not take it to the extreme to let people do which is actually like a lot of negativity and a lot of drama and a lot of accusations and yeah I feel like there’s a state of grace that is refusing to to participate in that in that should have been punk rock an Arco pump DIY 101 I mean we were always rebelling against the mainstream and back then it was the mainstream media and it was the one directional media of of the power elite news organizations and there was ziens and I like the way that social networks online could be decentralised but there was it there was actually an addict his backbone to that where it was people who were peer-to-peer building forums and building networks in chat rooms that were they weren’t being puppeteered by these these forces that are really there to serve the state ultimately to Amy so ever you want to talk about just let us bring this back to it to who we really are a man as like as anarcho-punks who were trained to think critically about technology and about corporate Fascism and the mainstream and then watching and watching ourselves get sucked into it watching other people get seduced and sucked into it and like how do we resist how do we repeal and fucking in Break Free then yeah yeah I respect you all Whenever there were born okay and basically what this comes down to is the difference between a fanzine and a Zine so we grew up grew up in this like reality where your existence fish eat that text that need within your soul and your spirit your heart to have an understanding to connect with the world in a way that brought you the feeling of like you belong that you were part of something that mattered that was what we call fancy right if you want to like try to give a little bit of a I don’t have described it with the word is a metaphor I don’t know when there’s also looks like her internet and then I just went over that and then it’s not meant to or with your is a 2018 something like that it is the difference cuz in the context of social media excetera that. That’s a defined difference between when you are living in an era an era where you haven’t desperation that is coming from this blooming devastating oppression that I have a sense about cuz we know as opposed to living in an era in a society where you yourself are being basically programs and I’m not trying to talk about some sort of like cuz we don’t we can’t see it happening is happening in Plainview people to be trained to be a certain way so that’s why you were programmed to almost beat our own enemy and what we were going up with back in the day and I’m just going to help my do by David Guetta in the late 1980s I’m not going to beat around the bush here about that it was different we tried to communicate and understand and learn and educate and Shear in very different ways that did teach us a way to be in the world that I’m certain you will agree allowed us now we have success as I’d like free people quote the same doing and be because we’ve learned in in times in through methods that were popular then and almost unheard-of now up the punx to that brother yeah man it’s funny cuz this whole thing about fake news it’s like back in my day was all fake news what he’s talking about like you wouldn’t trust any new source anyway and there it is just as weird commingling now everybody being sucked into the Demi celebrity trip to of of the the platforms that make you yawn I’m I’m kind of in recovery from from drinking the Kool-Aid to man sex you want to keep up with it that we were ejected all that and anyway I don’t want to get hung up on that on that topic but I know that a lot of the suffering that you have disclosed to me privately comes from just being Dogpile on the internet you know yeah it’s because I started get rid of all those people where they got rid of me or with mutual or it wasn’t but either way it happens does it is disconnected people don’t make you feel good and just I just it’s Ash and it that have to happen if I feel personal about anything I ever did cuz I did was like face reality here but not always been an easy field person and that I had to use I have to push people away because of my own craziness and Highway but nonetheless coming to bite my tongue well yeah sounds like you have a healthy sense of taking responsibility for things as one thing I love talking about is if there’s no there’s no bifurcation really in your personality you know you are who you are and you don’t the candy coat that very often sounds like for people to get in love it or leave it for one moment I want to make a statement here at that you’ll agree it’s okay I’m completely I’m completely nuts and I’m definitely if you can put this in quotes but I mean I propose cuz it’s I think it’s a great courses true and in quotes right here I’m good crazy I think for the first time in my life like yeah so what I know this is a bit crazy like I can look so what about yesterday right now and tomorrow and the next day I could just make more good crazy happen I’m so sick and tired of that crazy and I could learn to hold burning down of everything so I could get rid of that bad crazy what do I do whatever I have to do including and a much to the weather for next to the disdain for the right word but it’s good enough I come from it with truth which makes it pretty hard core but also I’m doing it because I don’t want to have it be an issue anymore so that’s craziness go out of control on the internet and then have a V8 if you will occur Abernethy Bridge with some that is very necessary if you need to heal then so be it but I’m also purifying so deep deep traumatic abuse that I experienced and if I’m not going to have a really group of participants or people in my life is one of his old stuff it’s still going to come out and I sure as heck ain’t going to end my life because our or go crazy in a way that’s going to get me locked up in a bad way Lawrence OB I’m going to put my shit out there I’m going to speak the truth and I’m going to let let that be how people figure out what’s up what’s not what matters and what doesn’t button in no way shape or form do I do any of this because I want to it’s because healing comes from getting out of your system to things that aren’t making you feel toxic and that can include interpersonal stuff you can food a thousand different things and I and not going to be silent if being sounds will keep me sick so speaking truth whether its preferred welcomed or not it is actually putting an end to the hurt and that that does also result in and include who serving of ties with many sometimes it’s unfortunately intentional but who matters here for me more than me just like anyone anyone else is the matter for them most at first you need to matter to themselves first and then most importantly so that’s life and I’d rather just choose the most Ford and let the let the heck’s come because the more I get hit the more I’m sure I’ll Never Smile act like its neck and that right there I believe that everyone else had the world to learn how to do and it’s Graham said out of would never put this on lips Alston and Lasting here sorry I go on and on I’m not sorry actually grateful for that time the more people learn the Dakin’s like punched and kicked their way out of the traps that they feel themselves and that doesn’t mean that’s because if it’s a whole process of getting yourself to where you need to be I want everyone to know that everyone can do that it’s going to suck but if I can do this in a Hertz at continuing low I mean living evidence that you can continue to land on your feet than everyone else can too and I don’t care for what I have to say you can do to go live your life and do the best you can be in frankly that’s what I’m doing so fuck off but still please do your thing so you can have everything that I’m going to yeah that was a time and experience as each day goes forward to live in that happiness cuz I want it and you can have the same thing so like fuck I’ll see you later come on back whatever but piece that sounds good man well I know some people who were listening to same I feel kind of lost on what what it is what kind of dancing around here if you don’t know how I know you know you can obviously be as candid or as reserved as you’d like but I feel like it is I would say correct me if I’m wrong but in a broad sense you you stood up to seven justices in the world and that kind of cause the shitstorm of not okayness that week but you prevailed your okayness prevailed over there not okay Miss in the midst of a shitstorm online and not just on its just oh my God can you break that down for us to whatever extent you know isn’t they’re breaching confidentiality or probably not actually not in jeopardy. The funny thing check it out how about I have the moment there who doesn’t you think you have to do when you produce this thing later that they released you have to just two levels and now you know you might take a note oh my God yeah man and just try to keep it brief cuz I can’t be a maniac about this I got to try to come best light for my good for yours in the whole world that you’re you’re Mania Mania Maniac don’t know what was basically I got freaking screwed for doing my job and it’s okay I went to work I was working as a mental health worker I loved what I did and he might stem from the first report back to the Survivor background I was trained and frankly Grant I’m glad it all happened because I couldn’t I don’t have a day job working someplace and having a bad Vibe by the rules of the system which ultimately dictate working in another house feel like I was I was working at this mental health place that was running all about people live experience week we’re all certified peer specialist I love what I did and was your place different part of the state but I buy a new company little did I know that the guy I was working with what’s the sticker McDonald’s scary misogynist I wasn’t familiar with like that degree of creepiest and I was also supposed to be professional and I was getting paid and I had to work another place you working at the mental health worker you have to adhere to certain rules and guidelines of course cuz if you don’t I’ll call Nicole borders new teachers Nursery School teachers in a kindergarten doctors excetera East you have you aware of abuse of a person or in your care if you will or but you have suspicions of it which is also legitimate your required by law in laws law whatever you can take it or leave it what lies you believe in cuz look in the United States right now it’s crazy how ever this is something that we all hold true when you working in the in the human services are helping professions that said it was my requirements that I had no choice to make a report because there was a situation that just frankly was as it turned out was bad this is not an acceptable thing for some people that I expose this in a series of extremely disgusting things occurred and I ended up looking like the bad guy and they really made this The Narrative we will and papers well and ultimately they found out that the report I made was true they found out to the guy that I’ve reported was documented by independent clinicians Adams facility that didn’t work for a company contract in this pretty I’m kind of providers giving groups support groups and then they knew because my report was the same as theirs and they never put it to the facility that my report was already known so they knew they had a guy in there who was behaving a predatory waste for months for two months then he got caught again but but other people who documented the sexualised behaviour and once they had found out that my report was true of any of the guy who is the supervisor my supervisor without telling anybody. Even the assistant director of the HR Director secretly after I didn’t report and it put it back into the same place where I’ve reported what he was doing then he got caught again twice too much later I feel like I’m describing once they had knowledge that I was telling the truth well that wasn’t acceptable and that was the end was me as I knew it was the end of my career as I knew it it was the end of everything I knew and this is during the same time. That after 28 years of my life being intentionally harmed by psychiatric medication for the purpose of keeping me quite I was able to get off of all this I cash medications in fact with the insistence of a team that’s more than one psychiatrist insisting that it was a medication making me sick and they need to take all the diagnosis on my file and the whole nine yards man 20 years of my life on a bunch of bulshit give him his pills and you need sick many everyone throughout my life experience 28 years I mean tonight to you need when I met you in person at all the crazy thing happened at that show moving forward but this is all under the clown under the fog of psychiatric pills that were given to me to shut me out to keep me quiet about Happy with a child adapt a bunch of psychiatrist now when that time. Ike 2008 1314 look at my medical documents and look at me and look at the book I can read and look at how everything does not make sense and say you don’t have these conditions that you’ve been medicated for all your life that it was known you for 28 years as a person drugged you need to go out these pills cuz they are making you sick you’ll never have a chance to have a better life to continue to take the pill this is being sent to me of yet by psychiatrist is it we’re changing what your diagnosis on your medical record you do not have these conditions and I went and I saw my primary care physician in the file and right there just as they said debunks debunk ebox trauma course the charm is there cuz well that’s what happens if you 20 years to be confused this thing with the job is happening at the same time. That I’m getting off these pills and I’ve gone to heels with vinegar text mountain people that my community are angry at me also just left me for side of my job and then I go to Europe for the first time the person I was traveling with to give a presentation a t a take a conference I first time ever going to Europe dream come true after that conference I went into a sauna and Upsala I managed to me within 10 minutes my body had had basically detox rapidly and from it within the fat cells in my body after 20 years of taking psychiatric medication like tearing off the doctors help I did Poison myself in Riga Latvia and I was never the same since I started to slur my words and I was fried more more crazy stuff happen ultimately with all resulted from this is that I lost my home in January 2018 that’s my cat January 2018 I already lost most of my friends call these people thought I was crazy I got into Financial stuff also get social things like most my friendships are getting more and more the tax I lost a bunch of my personal stuff and most people like it truly care about and I still do you know what a live with no real idea what I’m going to do to try to listen to travel the world and find a way to create a new life find a way to connect with other people to find a way to Love by the way to connect by the way I create a new business and Nueva to survive using the foci are offered in different languages and also the English language like you crying and Kosovo you know it Poland and and giving presentations are in and talk circles in in in in you name it healing from trauma healing from abuse how to survive being possible he has been crazy sometimes I misunderstood all the time trying to learn how to be because I never learned as a child I never had a coming-of-age I was drugged for 14 on to all the cells have the same time I totally feel comfortable in my own country I don’t think I can work this is presents about me just like it’s like psychosis around me that like this guy why was he sick while he was mentally sick of these other word but in fact maybe I was drugged how can you explain to somebody week like that wasn’t you it wasn’t me but it looks like you sounds like you I can’t quite I said the pills pills were what were making me so fucked up or how am I supposed to know the difference your right respect all I can do is say you’re right you experience that crazy shit with me and that was real few doesn’t matter if it wasn’t me it was because of I was poisoned for my own good of course that’s what happened so I can only say goodbye and I can’t change that to this is the reality the past four years is always have these things happening in the world disconnected from people from people that have no more going to call ain’t going to call anybody you know is going to pick up that’s how do you find whis when you don’t feel comfortable in your own land cuz you your language is English it’s a dominant language in the world and and you’re a guy easy to just try to reconnect after all these years of chaos you supposed to be a certain weight verifications of you you can escape to past so what are you do what did I do what the heck out of there as I said travel the world very difficult very painful very lonely very hard very beautiful and in that 15 months how do they communicate with people with languages that we do not share what do you do how do you find your weight you can’t just go crazy like I did in a couple years was the way somewhere West getting killed in the airport in Paris I lost my shit you can’t do that you have to learn how to connect on a spiritual level that you can’t communicate people will know your energy just like a cat or a dog you can’t let them experience you went away that you’re going to be repelled by how you learn how to do that how do you learn that’s what you learned and that’s what the story that’s what the backstory is the backstory is a story it’s like five or six what’s it like in your own way with wreck somebody happening at the same time and just by the grace of whatever it is you believe I resulted it was Ulta didn’t me finally getting to the point of saying screw it almost going to go live why can Liz get a Visa they did and take a little money had and get a a place that was furnished and so I did and how I live in a community and I need some friends and that’s the story that’s that’s what you’re asking me it’s like a 15 minute monologue but that’s what the story is it should make enough sense of all this meat is missing tons of pieces that music house ugliness lost torture resulted and be speaking about all we have prior to keep me answering the question if it was up to them that being a store that I can talk about with a smile and with some sort of like humor because I know what resulted in like where I’m at now thank you so what is the advice you have for people who are whistleblowing in organizations where it sounds like sounds like you were is a recipe for disaster in that because anyone could say that your credibility under those circumstances everybody in a situation is the pot calling the kettle black and in a sense so for people who are direct me totally just a source of your strength to overcome oh my God it was it wrecked me I can’t believe them alive direct me so much that I’m laughing about it because it’s like well at the very least it’s always warm here like every piece of shit wasn’t nice to me back in Massachusetts I guess what in the winter you going to pay for that heat and for those of you out there who struggle so I don’t have to deal with that anymore thank you thank you I could have stand I’m coming around to this myself which is that I feel like there is there was a time where I felt like I had to go out there and I had to add jatate and and have a high risk tolerance and a high risk appetite for being involved in the potential for liability of the potential for things sort of backfiring it in in in in doing my work and now I feel like I survived some pretty epic chapters of risk and now I’m finding myself more risk-averse and less risk tolerant and wanting and actually being able to say no but I’d rather not put myself at risk by not that I’m totally disengaging from everything but I will say that that the the duty that I felt I had to be out there in the mix of a lot of chaos I don’t feel that that I feel like I I slay that Dragon I slay those demons and and I can live with myself comfortably not feeling like a coward and not feeling like I was avoiding those those efforts and I wondering if you feel now and it is something that make people can resonate with that they can learn powers that you know you don’t have to fight every battle you can choose your battles as long as you fight some battles and even if you don’t win you survive but you know you did what was right you don’t have to keep doing that forever and you can get yourself the fuck out and go and retire from The Madness of fighting a lot of struggles where it’s a losing battle sometimes and you can just enjoy the face so you know live to fight another day you know you know they say Don’t run you can run away and live to fight another day or you could stay in a place that you’re not going to get out of one piece nnn regret it so I don’t know just want to say that I congratulate you for for doing the right thing and then getting a fuck out of there before you did actually get completely destroyed you know yet well you know what me and your trusty Craig motherfuking Lewis you know that’s what happens when your trusty Craig fucking crazy person Louis I just don’t need that to be sampled probably just got myself some was going to have fun with me with that but that’s okay it doesn’t have a certain that what was the question Bedford just let me be me to take two more of a general commentary and sense of wanting to see the bigger picture which is that sometimes I guess I was seeing if I feel the same way about the politics of insurrectionary Street protests and you put yourself out there and you put yourself in a meat grinder lot of people do and they end up in really serious trouble that they didn’t bargain for that it’s not really sustainable certain forms of resistance are not really sustainable there’s new waves of of people who are going to come up into that but you have to know when to win to what’s the country song what’s the country song when you know how to hold them oh my God yeah it is you don’t talk about anything yeah yeah quit while you’re ahead and I was going to quit while I was ahead I should have just never done shit about the so I made a decision take out the stand on my two feet and stand up when I knew was true and for what I knew was the correct thing to do and to what someone ever did for me when I was 15 years old and then that horrible facility being feminized and section leak destroyed and and and humiliated and have a whole life taken when I was 15 in those two so they locked me up in just got too many times I had no way weather right I didn’t even know if I believe in the Universal God whatever they want to call it if I want to call it whenever I look to you for my my my my my my peace I didn’t know dude in 2015 that’s what I was doing that was a sending that to a better place cuz of what all I was experienced by me throughout my life but there was no way there was no way any any shape or form that I was going to permit and using my legally-protected role as a mandated reporter there was no way I was going to permit what I was witnessing happening in front of me to people who were the victim of assault and simple ways I was when I was a kid and when I was a kid I asked for help and no one helped me I would love to rot and take it there was no way and 2015 that I was going to break from my responsibilities and I just didn’t legal responsibility responsibility responsibility but the opportunity to make sure using my power that I had been given by becoming certified to work in the role of I had been working in there was no way I was going to go to deviate from that there was no way I was going helping that individual with a moment of peace when I was not afforded the very same thing that I deserve as much as everyone who’s ever been a situation like that woman was deserved and I stood in my two feet and I would do the same thing right now again because it was the right thing to do and I will always go to look myself in the mirror and a camera and whatever I never that was right now looking forward to move on and it doesn’t matter that like I got crushed in the process and it come on how many people are going to listen to this I thought his back but I want to hear about like awesome stuff like so what like what kind of fool of myself are so funny and it’s true what kind of fool thinks it’s a good idea business right now you all know them for one important reason it is important as a valid and it’s to be honored and respected but it does not mean you should do business-to-business okay and you don’t do people like yourself what’s a crazy people that word with deep affection Love because as professionally as I previously identified I want to be good crazy so maybe good crazy so that’s where I go to stay However maybe not everyone’s good crazy maybe I’ve not always been good crazy not truth what a terrible idea to work intimately with people cool ultimately it’s true cuz he went to humans ultimately it will save their own skin for doing the right thing because not everybody is not their fault it’s the reality is reality. Everybody grows up with like a street addict or knowing how it is to be closer to the bottom and I fortunately or unfortunately I am how you stated feeling perceive things many of the people that must have people that I was involved with what are of a higher class if you will or better way of living or a different kind of environment that allow after Sosa to delete it I never had it so I don’t blame them for Being Human but certainly did lack of understanding of what it meant to do what was right was more within me as a person who was straight talk and someone who grew up in just I guess nicer and perhaps more supportive of surroundings which I did not Amen brother that’s the truth right on that what I think yeah we should I think we should call it a show at I was at Adventure I was expected nothing less than and definitely you delivered on bringing bringing the the the healthy crazy that healthy and powered acknowledgement of what it takes in like hey was the word of of CO2 I remember that song Still if we’re never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy right so I believe that I believe it I feel it I’m the same way I’m definitely letting go on some innovations that have helped me back and I’m feeling more free and more wild and less less compromising to people who may not agree or understand what I’m trying to do and there’s a way to there’s a I think there’s a way you’re proving it and I’m I’m catching up to you honestly about getting to a point where you just you give no fuks about being a walk in your truth in speaking your mind and people don’t like it they can they can shove it up their okayness yeah and I’m okay with that closing statement a lubricated sex toy and gently massage it as they relax the sphincter into their anus until they filled okay no I don’t want to use shoving it up your ass says this is your word is because on the township on podcast we are all about putting the anus back into Okemos and putting the penis back into happiness all right have you seen the movie the interview Seth Rogen when they go to North Korea and they interview the North Korean dictator they say that they hate us cuz they ain’t us all the ants talk is that this is going to be listened to and I can ask around closing statement obviously my lots of curious people about Craig Lewis and better days and all this crazy nonsense stop podcasting a plus with all the craziness it’s hard to get work when you’re up when you’re allowed muffins supposed love for myself it’s awesome but all the people are the characters in the world I want to see I love you and I’m grateful for every person who has ever existed in my life including every person who has not been nice to me with every person who is abused me iPhone I am quitting the worst ones and I don’t want you all my life but I do forgive you because that’s the best for my. You’re my love for myself and also I just also think it’s very relevant necessary because I know this would be listen to cuz people whose voice and I’m staying right now will you love me or hate me or whatever it is it’s okay it’s okay because things have been crazy and I wouldn’t want to have to hang out with me sometimes the way things were but I can’t imagine being someone else it was horrible I was going through a living you know what I don’t want to say that word because I choose to like try to be better doesn’t mean that always succeed as you all know that you can I I’m grateful to be here today laughing about it crazy just going on I think some things that come out of my mouth that bow that’s pretty intense stuff sometimes I like using my brain is sometimes you say things that are little bit much so what I’m grateful to be here now I’m grateful to everyone if I’ve hurt your feelings or offended somebody will the problem with a reason but I also feel like that’s not okay so I do apologize for being hurtful because when you’re fighting a battle and you feel like you’re you’re experiencing or you’re proceeding being under some sort of Oppression you do things are sometimes don’t always make sense and you fight me ways that not everyone’s going through Fluevog so I will recognize this truth that goes for everybody including how I’ve communicated with you in the past and I have not been easy so this trip this accountability this acceptance of yes it’s not been pretty getting to this place and I am I in a gray spot now I’m working on it and it’s because I chose to be what I wanted to be and I tried to walk my talk and my Straight Talk sucks sucks sucks so I’ll leave you with this liked my dear friend and be host to talk about just suggested you can just get that lubrication and like jet me like take care of with best the love that you deserve because you deserve to feel good inside and however you find a way to feel good inside I know the tundra parked behind and I think it’s fair to say that I’m behind that to oh my God that sounds crazy that wasn’t even planned that I’m sorry but yeah oh my God I think it’s happened in my brain and that was thank you Universe this is crazy I don’t know what to say if it doesn’t get any simpler than put the anus in Okemos and put the penis and happiness and we will all be living in it beer peace more peaceful or more fulfilling more abundant world man so I think that’s that’s that’s what I asked what it comes down to and and I store is the next time I bought the world travels but that’s what I thought that’s what the best and I want a wonderful rest of your evening and we’ll be in touch again soon I love you so much and I love you so much for listening to the touch of Time Podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition assassini and improving the podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple after bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email said I turned your punk. Com Thomas gay

Anti-Authoritarian Self-Help and Recovery with Craig Lewis TPP143

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Craig Lewis PicIn this episode I’m joined again by long time punk comrade Craig Lewis. He updates us on his new personal revelations and international adventures, and provides a radiant and radical energetic transmission of positivity and hope.

We share a passion to change the world by first changing ourselves and finding inner strength and peace to move through the world in an empowered and autonomous way. We also both promote anti-authoritarian approaches to self-help and recovery.

It’s always a pleasure to catch up and commiserate about the struggle to survive and thrive. For anyone with punk roots, Craig is a fierce reminder of the spirit of liberation we all embodied in our youth. As we become educators and mentors, we can share solidarity with Craig and applaud his efforts to keep the spirit alive.

Please visit Craig’s website at:
http://www.betterdaysinternational.net/

About Craig:
Craig Lewis is grateful for every experience he has had that has resulted in this very moment. He is transcending the challenges of his past and sharing his experiences, knowledge, and lessons learned with all those who will listen. This is an ongoing journey and Craig, like all of us, is a work in progress. The choice to live a life of gratitude, peace, love, kindness, spirituality, accountability, forgiveness and acceptance facilitates Craig’s liberation.

Tantra Makeover with Craig Lewis TPP73

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In this episode I’m joined again by long time punk comrade Craig Lewis. We discuss the struggle to survive the psychiatric-pharmaceutical complex with a do-it-yourself approach to mental health and wellness. He graciously allows me to guide him on a journey into the tantric arts of love and healing and we share a lot of mutual support and strength as men striving to think, speak, and act from the heart.

Please visit his websites linked below:
http://www.betterdaysrecovery.com/
http://punksinrecovery.tumblr.com/