Tag Archives: prayer

Kali Sahasranama in Sanskrit and English Read by Sufiana TPP257

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Kali Painting

In this episode I share the recording I commissioned from Sufiana of the 1008 names of Goddess Kali, including both the Sanskrit and English

The Sacred Sexual Healing Path of Gay Tantra Teacher Brad Amberheart TPP233

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Brad Amberheart Pic

In this episode I’m joined by Brad Amberheart

My new gay tantra hero has joined me for a deep exploration of all things gay and tantra. He takes us on a journey through his journey, a cinematic adventure behind the veil and into the inner sanctum of a magical priest of love. I felt lifted out-of-body and into the clouds while experiencing his eloquent narrative of personal evolution, healing, empowerment, transformation, and transcendence.  I was in the perfect mood to shove off the shore of normal waking consciousness to dance within the erotic consciousness of Brad’s historic evolutionary path towards bigger and bigger love.

About Brad:

Brad Amberheart is a Tantric sex coach and erotic workshop facilitator who works primarily with gay men. His primary passion is working 1-on-1 with men who are ready to explore erotic ecstasy as a pathway to a higher understanding of who we are and why we’re here. Brad has also led transformational erotic rituals at international Tantra festivals for people of all genders, including the Hawaii Tantra Festival and the Tantra Love Fest in Glastonbury, UK. Between 2017 and 2020, he wrote more than 120 concepts for conscious evolutionary Gay Sex videos and worked on 7 gay erotic film sets to coach male erotic models in how to convey a deeper sense of heightened sexual freedom and expression on camera. His latest endeavor, as of January 2020, is the launch of his podcast series, Gay Tantra, which is the first podcast series in the world devoted fully to the experiential practice of Tantra, Sexual Magic, and Erotic Mysticism for men who have sex with men. To listen to his podcast, watch his gay erotic videos, or book a Tantric Sex coaching session in person or via video conferencing, please visit bradamberheart.com

 

My (not verbatim) show notes: 

Tantric sex coach, erotic workshop facilitator for gay men, host of gay tantra podcast

Gratitude to tantrapunk podcast for invitation, a month ago, searching for gay tantra podcasts, closest that came up was tantra punk because of interviews with Jason Tantra and others, listened to quite a few podcasts, deeply touched by transcendental eroticism, self pleasuring that encouraged men to cherish our own bodies, and use orgasm for healing

right when just about to contact tantra punk, I got an email we found one another at the same time

sitting in same bedroom in grandmother’s house, live in western north carolina, talking today from home of ancestors, family lived for 5 generations, same cedar tree I decorated with lights over the holidays that was my height when I was twelve, now the same age as me, gigantic cedar tree that I can go in and hide and masturbate if I want to, right in the front yard, I think that’s a good frame work for what I’m about to tell you

grew up in very conservative religious background, lucky enough to have parents that were open sexually, even though 70s, father was deeply wounded emotionally and spiritually by the Vietnam war, I came into a world of turmoil and chaos

parents thought sex was a very important part of life, educated to embrace sex and its beauty

went to church, encouraged to wait until marriage to engage sexually, parents didn’t subscribe to that

even though baptist church, it was quite moderate. The horror stories about fundamentalist religions weren’t a reality

always cared for, always loved

when got into high school, more than before, became problem child

asked questions you’re not supposed to ask

Jesus never got married, how old was he when he did, is there anything in the bible about him having sex with anyone, because you’re not supposed to have sex before marriage, does that mean that Jesus never got to do you want me to die a 33 year old virgin, nailed on a cross

pleaded with youth minister to talk, he looked at me with kind eyes, I feel like a lot of people are asking the questions you’re asking but you’re the only one with courage to ask, I wonder what Jesus’ sex life was like

he got married, after wedding we all looked with longing, maybe he’s getting some now

still what really impressive, miraculously I was not shunned, encouraged to explore curiosity

curiosity is a foundational root of what it means to be on a tantric path

heard of tantra first from sister, she said, have you ever heard that there’s certain guys in the world that instead of ejaculating, they use that energy for other things and have these trippy experiences

didn’t hear the word again for many years, didn’t have sex with anyone all the way from puberty until I was 22 years old, partly because of religious upbringing, and partly because of craving, longing, excitement related to men, attributed it to admiration

if I would see a hunky guy there was a certain excitement

also noticed going on dates with women, it was done from a place of attempting to please relatives, to convince them I was normal

greatest obsession was to study all day saturday, for international science fair, studied sun spots through a telescope every day, instead of having sex

while every body else was exploring sexuality if they were lucky, I was at the library, I was a total nerd

went to church every sunday, even when parents quit going, I was the spiritual leader of the family, always asked to say the prayer

what’s more relevant, I remained disconnected from other people sexually all through college

I was religious but at the same time rebellious

celebrate new years in florida with my cousin

I wonder what jesus’ sex life was life, I’m 22, I don’t really want to die a virgin

willing to find any woman who’d be willing to experiment with me

wasn’t able to find anyone that wanted to go to bed with me

story going on in my mind, maybe people who go to bed with people of same sex was because they couldn’t get in bed with someone of the same sex

the story I got about homosexuality was not pretty, not positive, not encouraging, it was scary

tantra, in retrospect, for all the years that I wasn’t having sex I was pursuing other passions and putting a lot of energy into really creative work

how did I ever get on a tantric path, all the times masturbated by myself, I was on a tantric path, I was harnessing my energy and putting into what I cared about even when I wasn’t having sex

learned how to take self into fits of excitement and ecstasy, at that age I ejaculated a lot, so I found every creative way to shoot my cum all over the place

I became my most devoted and delighted sex partner

I had a lot of fun by myself, didn’t know til in college, most guys masturbate with their hand

I actually found it much more pleasurable to fuck the bed, I would writhe and squirm all over soft sheets and make noises into the pillow, I loved ejaculating onto the sheets, didn’t realize that not everybody did that

cultivating an ecstatic whole body practice

when I did find a willing, exuberant, excited sex partner, the ecstasy I had been cultivating on my own 9 years, was over the top with another human being, on top of a wonderful man’s body in Alaska, marvelous orgasm after orgasm for hours, must have ejaculated 4 or 5 times, I was still 22, now looking back, years of whole body jack off fun by myself became the foundation for years of euphoric sexual bliss with other men

the tantric path made itself known to me, overtly around the year 2000, I was 26 years old, had been in a corporate job for several years, traveling back and forth to Siberia, environmental consult to gold mining companies, had no sex life

Still investing in what I really cared about, didn’t have sex partners other than self

sit in closet, get high smoking pot, get out a stack of porn mags, started to noticed even though all my porn mags had women in them, they also had men, loved to seeing men’s cum, loved seeing to men and woman together, undeniable theme

one night jacking of in the closet by myself and said, wow I live in a city of 100,000 people, there must be someone else out there who would love to do this with me right now

ventured out of closet, went to a bar, chatted up the cutest guys I could find and I had hours and hours and hours of mind blowing sex as often as I liked, if there had been any guilt or shame or trepidation, I took 9 years to get over it

when I came out the closet, I came out with flying colors

tantric path continued, something was happening that was not normal, not typical

I would be making love with a guy, no penetration with first 20 or 30 partners I enjoyed, always face to face body to body cock to cock lips to lips, over the top orgasmic, wasn’t any penetration but would find that, would allow self to completely lose myself, didn’t have to hold on to earthly reality, go flying, when I would come to, the men I would be with would be like, “dude I have neighbors”, what do you mean what do they have to do with anything, well you’re making a lot of noise man, what else would I do I’ve waited 9 years to enjoy this

they would enjoy it but they would try to shut me down

I hear this from friends when they make love with women, always concerned with how big it’s gonna be and how loud

at present moment I hold play parties for people of all genders, last play party, all of the noise that came out of my house was the screaming orgasms of women, didn’t hear men making any noise, windows were open, screams going through whole neighborhood

I told everybody in the beginning, it’s spring time its hot windows open, if you’re going to scream and orgasm, consider that a blessing to the people who live here, whatever you’re facing aim that energy into the earth, that it can bless this ground that has suffered so much for so many generations and so that the people near by can be blessed, consider the people on this continent that are hurting and let your waves reach those people

and I heard a lot of screaming from women, because, frankly I don’t know how many places in the world we have sanctuary to really allow that unstoppable orgasm to come out, I really feel it has frightened men for a long time, it frightened many of my sex partners early on

I had never been with anyone, I had only been with my ecstatic self, when nobody was home in my parents house, I was shouting hallelujah, I was screaming because it felt so fucking good, I didn’ tknow anything about holding it back

learned about body electric school in 1999, had been hearing more about this tantric thing

workshops where guys rubbed on one another’s cocks, and they would see colors, and visions , and maybe speak in tongues

room full of men would go into whole body orgasmic bliss but nobody ejaculated

it was really trendy in the 90s, a lot of people talked about it, wow I did it and I saw colors

I could travel back and forth in time, very different than what I was seeing in porn, to this day when I watch porn, still haven’t seen one that shows people having a transcendental experience, where they’re flying above the oceans and swimming with the dolphins while they make love

still waiting, when I make love I get to swim through oceans, I get to hear the whales, I get to smell the salt air, I get to travel through the world and its what I want for people to know more anything is that in addition to being a fuck load of fun to have sex, it’s also a vehicle that connects us to everything alive on the earth, and everything that ever has lived, no such thing as death, people that came before are here alive and we can visit with them, this is the potential of our sex, that I’m not hearing spoken about except out of my own mouth,

my tantra speaker spoke about it when I finally tantra, after the body electric school, where I went to workshops where men rubbed on each other’s cocks like a magic jenie bottle and transcendental experiences

when I was invited to my first tantra workshop I said well what is it, is it a tantra massage and he said no, it’s tantra

you mean tantra is different than massage, he said yeah it is

I went to this workshop in a log cabin, with some one to this day I consider to be one of the most authentic and resonant lineages of tantra that I have found, rudolph valentine

we do this tantra workshop in a log cabin, it’s hot, but there’s a pond and we bathe in a pond

it’s great we’ve done it lots of time, you should come, so I did

12 men there, all got naked, lined up on bank of pond, farm pond with frogs in it, every few minutes, hear them and nights sounds, crickets, we all line up, leader motions for us to take step forward, 12 men take a step into this pond with water up to our chest, remembered grandmother, I remembered her saying she was baptized in a pond, as soon as that thought came to me, the workshop leaders invited us to get into a circle, the two of them got into the center of the circle and they invited the first person to step in to the center of the circle, I thought are they really gonna do what I think they’re gonna do, I decided to go first, I stepped into the circle, one of them put his hand behind my head, the other held my hand, they both looked at me and I knew what was happening, they nodded as if to signal are you ready, I shook my head,i let out a wail, I stood in the middle of this pond with 9 men surrounding me, and two holding me in the center, and I wailed, I felt the sorrow and the disconnection of how I had been to be loved and cherished by a spiritual community and the pain of how it felt to be disconnected from your spiritual roots, in my heart I had a prayer that this time I would embark on a spiritual path that would hold everything that I am and allow me to be everything that I could be, and had room for every part of me, all of me the slut the priest, the father the son the man the woman everything in side of me the dark the light I wanted that path that could hold me, that was what tantra was, that was what tantra meant

I nodded, and they immersed me in the water and I had my second baptism, the first time was inside of a church when I was 6 years old inside of tank, they put you in this paper robe, and they bring you up out of the water and the whole church can see you all wet, with this paper clinging to your body

here I was in the pond, naked being baptized, this is the way to do it

moments in the workshop: looked at one of the teachers and said I’m so glad that I finally met my teacher, what do you mean, you’ve already had a teacher, what are you talking about, because you told me about the person that taught you everything, everything you already need to know about tantra was already taught to me, who was it, he said, your grandmother

my grandmother was a master at finding light in the darkness and master of turning obstacles into means, when I finally did meet my tantra teachers, 28 years after I first met my grandmother they told me the same things that she had, they were just the first to put it into words, my grandmother always had plenty when there was nothing, she had joy even when she lived in hell, she found heaven in hell, I’m sitting right now in the house that she lived and died in

my tantra teachers told me that tantra is the consummation of the inner marriage and while some of us look for a partner outside of ourselves to marry, most of us skip the essential step of finding that partner within ourselves first, I had a lot of time to practice that inner marriage, it’s a never ending relationship just like any marriage

shadow work, all of those pieces of ourselves that we think are ugly that we wouldn’t want others to know

its an instinct, there’s a part in us that isn’t always happy

part of us that feels angry, part of us that feels scared, there’s a part of us that feels enraptured, a part of us that feels enraged, the further we walk on the tantra path we’re prompted to see that there’s a place for all of this, to find the marriage of these opposites, the ultimate journey of what tantra really is all about

one more thing I want to add, I happen to be a gay man, I really love the word faggot, I embrace that word as part of my magic, and I happen to be a faggot who really loves to make love with women who love faggots, have had ecstatically joyful partners who were female, I had to embrace my delight and love of other men, before I could allow myself to be the complete faggot I am in bed with women

had precisely two maybe three ecstatic female lovers, they are female lovers that really love gay men,it’s really helped me to see the perfection that a lot of men who have sex almost exclusively with women, also have the complete right to enjoy sexual freedom with other men without necessarily having to put a label on it

visually when I look at women’s bodies, I can admire them I can appreciate the embodiment of the goddess and yet its way different, it’s not like a look at a woman and go I really want to have that right now, I really only objectify men

what happens with women, I approach it as an opportunity to commune with the divine, pathway that connects us with the divine, it no longer matters how old they are, how fat or thin they are, kinda fem or kinda butch, doesn’t matter what gender they are, if you’ve found source of your erotic expression in yourself and you love erotic expression for the pure excitement and sake of erotic expression it is possible to journey ecstatically and cathartically with a wide diversity of partners, some people ask me, how can you have sex with someone you’re not attracted to

one of my primary lovers is twice my age, I’m in my 40s, one of my lovers is in his 80s, we have some of the most transcendental experiences that I have with any partner, I make love with people not because of the way they look or how old they are, but authentically because I want to commune with the divine, I like to travel I like to transcend time and space, I get a lot of insight and guidance for what I’m gonna do with my life when I’m in that state, that’s why I make love

people say what type of person are you into, what type of person turns you on, I say a person who’s fuckin as excited as fuck to make love with me, that’s the kind that really turns me on, if they’re excited, I’m excited, if I’m excited they’re excited, there’s a resonance, that transcends appearance, age, social class all that bullshit

women, I’m really grateful for women because, making love with women was like, a later stage threshold that I crossed because that was when I really recognized, wow, I can have a transcendental erotic experience, and be a faggot with a person of any gender, I can, it can’t just be anyone, it has to be someone who knows we’re on a journey, and we’re connecting with something bigger than ourselves, if a woman just wants my dick its not gonna work, lots of time I don’t even get hard when I have sex, if I’m in a cathartic whole body state nobodies paying attention to how hard my dick is, that would be a liberating lesson if more men in the world were able to feel that the ability to connect ecstatically with the divine and another human being is completely independent of what they’re cock is doing, that’s radical

some of the most whole body orgasmic states I’ve ever experienced and witnessed were with people who’s cocks weren’t hard, don’t get me wrong I love hard dick AND there are a lot of ways to go into cathartic whole body ecstasy

homophobia…i barely use the word anymore, don’t often feel like I’m battling homophobia, which is a beautiful place to be

our world really does shift with the shift of our inner perception, the transformation of ourselves and planet using sexual pleasure, what I’m really asking of people to invite ourselves to consider that ecstatic sexual pleasure is available to far more of us than we’ve ever dreamed

we feel we need a partner of a certain type, in reality if we join with other partners who recognized that we have the opportunity to fly, to sail through the skies and the seas, experience realities beyond what we see, what meets the eye, we have the opportunity to go into multiple realities, the future on planet earth is that we’re going to see a world more filled with people who are excited about having sex with a variety of partners, less focused on getting hard, ejaculating, and fulfilling a whole checklist of what they think needs to be done to have great sex, and focusing more on oh my god, we have an energy field right now where if we introduce the faintest intention, that is going to manifest, as soon as we say it is done

10 years ago I spoke the impossible, I was in a native american ceremony with 100 queer people and I was asked why I came and I said I want to see the day when our people can fuck and enjoy the fuck out of each other and squirt our seed inside of one another and know we’re actually healing one another not killing one another

full on sexual delight was some how equated with death

I want our people to be able to share our medicine free from fear, healing each other not killing each other, I had no way of conceiving how that would be possible, today there are multiple opportunities for people to enjoy sexual pleasure with people of all genders like never before free from fear, a lot of people are using Prep, they’re taking something that allows them to free themselves from the acute anxiety that has for all too long accompanied them and their sex

not an advocate, or promoter, nor do I discourage people to use things things

the world has transformed, we have sex with each other for healing and health

its what brings us life

what’s coming up, the most exciting thing happening in my tantric path, is the gay tantra podcast

12/31/19 I issued the first episode, it was pretty hard core, it was a hard core sex scene, interspersed with sacred magic, to alert people that raunch, kink, and downright ass fucking is integrated with magic and health and healing, followed with talk with 8 other men, with how tantra relates to sex among men, created an exercise people can do

I’ve contributed to the creation of over 120 evolutionary gay erotic videos, all on my website:

bradamberheart.com

on the home page, I have links to the evolutionary gay erotic videos, gay tantra podcast, soon more links to upcoming events world wide

Jason Tantra and partner, created an app, that allows conscientious gay men who are exploring other realms of sexual magic and healing to meet each other, created at the same time as the gay tantra podcast, master of mind of universe created the gay tantra podcast and tantra4gaymen app at the same time

even if you’re not gay, you just occasionally like to suck dick, listen to the gay tantra podcast

event’s coming up, will be posted on website, announced on gay tantra

series I’m most excited about is a series that teaches people how to use , or harness their sexual pleasure as a tool to connect with higher sources of wisdom and information: transcendental sexuality

receive insight, new knowledge, and information

super excited some of the videos I created are still being edited

it’s a really evolutionary time to live on earth, it’s an evolutionary time for men who are exploring conscious sexuality with other men, unifications happening through colleagues, Jason Tantra, Davey Wavey, collaboration on videos

a network has been created that’s spanning the globe, super excited about gay tantra as a platform

each month an exercise as part of the series, free guided sexercises, more to come

Sexorcism the Tantric Opera Episode 14 “Om My Goddess”

This is a Tantric devotional/instructional love song that teaches the core methodology of honoring each other as God/Goddess and entering into sacred union to achieve a state of divine grace and experience ecstatic altered states of bliss. The lyrics and melody were channeled in a ritual goddess worship session. It felt as if it was dripping into my crown chakra vortex, as if shakti was secreting it like nectar.

I made a demo version of the track with all acoustic instruments, and my dear bro Nuno remixed this version as Ninesense.

Please sing and dance along with your lover:

Om my goddess
Om my god
Om my goddess
Om my god

Om my god/dess
You’re beautiful
I love you
I thank you

Patriarchy has denied
Shamed and brutalized
We must resacrilize
Body temples as divine

Sit on my lap
Legs around your back
Look into my eyes
Breathing synchronized

Cycle up the spine
The energy inside
Open the third eye
DMT will flood your mind

If you want to see the light
You must last all night
Pray between my thighs
Meditate while I’m inside

Sexorcism the Tantric Opera Episode 13 “The Lost Art of Yoni Massage”

This video depicts my personal style of providing yoni puja, or yoni worship including sacred spot (g-spot) massage.

“Women are divinity, women are life, women are truly
jewels.”

-The Yoni Tantra

Magical Intelligence for Psychedelic Rebels with Shonagh Home TPP203

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Shonagh Home Pic

In this episode I’m joined again by Shonagh Home, the mushroom priestess who never ceases to amaze! Our conversation topic this time is the launch of her Manifesting 101 course which she graciously allowed me to experience.

It was perfect timing for me to take the course as I was in the eye of the storm of transformation and the wisdom bestowed through the course served as the psycho-spiritual scaffolding to build a ramp towards greater freedom and abundance in alignment with the divine. Without it I could well have continued digging a deeper tunnel straight to the demonic underworld. I sh*t you not!

This course contains some of the most important words to live by, and while it draws upon a wide range of esoteric and mystical themes, the no-none-sense practical applications that are provided will put any skeptic in check.

This course serves as the functional of anti-malware/anti-virus software on your computer. It works its magic weather or not you make a firm commitment to embark on a path of magical discipline or not. It won’t do the work for you, but it will without a doubt expose your weak, lazy, and self dooming patterns of mental and verbal behavior. If you do take steps to implement the teachings into your future, be prepared for the

Please visit her website at: https://www.shonaghhome.com And sign-up for her Manifesting 101 course here: https://www.shonaghhome.org/manifestating-101

About Shonagh:
Shonagh Home is a shamanic therapist, teacher, writer and poet. Her specialized private sessions and retreats are probing and revelatory, assisting clients to break chronic, self-defeating patterns, and move into empowered personal sovereignty. Shonagh is an international public speaker on the subject of visionary shamanic-spirit medicine, a voice for stewardship of the honeybees, and a teacher on the subject of Traditional Foods. She is author of the books, ‘Ix Chel Wisdom: 7 Teachings from the Mayan Sacred Feminine,’ ‘Love and Spirit Medicine,’ ‘Poetic Whispers from the Green Realms,’ and ‘Honeybee Wisdom: A Modern Melissa Speaks.’

AI Generated Transcription:
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear beloved Walking the Tightrope on podcast episode number 203 I have yet again what a my favorite previous guess Shawna home on again now to talk about another training program that she is providing online through their website and after I completed and we did we had discussed Her Sacred mushroom practicum course and so much to learn from that and so much to to apply from that and really I feel like it’s going to be a module with in my coaching and counseling programs that I offer for private individuals really that that’s for them to a lose their psychedelic virginity per say I want this to be a prerequisite for that I want to I want it to be a sort of four other colleagues and peers who would might be doing ceremonial work with me in any capacity that they have that under their belt so to speak and that we’re speaking the same language and and that was really my prayer from when I first read love and spirit medicine wish that I knew actually the first time I heard you Shana on a podcast on the Psychedelic salon at was maybe 2013 when I first heard you one of your early talks mentioning the rigor of scholarship that you put into reading different books on mushrooms of course finding out a lot of the officers were men and then feeling compelled to write a more heart centered feminine more personal exploration and after reading that and knowing you done that work I really just knew that you were going to be the one to the go to Modern chamonix Priestess to usher in the paradigm shift that is going to involve The Mystery of the mushrooms for the modern world so this is the fact that you made that that mushroom practicum course that is really the answer to my prayers and and followed up from that if that wasn’t enough of you also put together an equally astounding and an in-depth and comprehensive course on manifestation which takes a lot of the more best celery kind of new agey stuff that has more Mass Appeal right now have more Pride adoption than then not save the Psychedelic work people can resonate with that and I’ve had a lot of priming on these topics but you bring into it a far more advanced mystical and far more advanced mythological and folkloric wisdom to it that you don’t get so much in things that are trying to be all about just it’s all about Quantum stuff it’s all about human potential stuff and they kind of stripped out the the personalities and the and the the sort of I think about engaging with helpers and keeping negative Spirits at Bay and all of that actual Witchcraft and more folkloric type of wisdom you really bring all that back into the science of manifestation see but it’s the best of both worlds that’s my sort of review after having gone through it and I’ll say before we open it up for you to share all about it I will just say that you had gifted me access to the program and I went devoured it and binge listen as I was going through a pretty serious transition and transformation in my life and there was so much moments where I was where I had to wear it called me out on being a slacker on principles that I had been aware of but that I had not been fully keeping in good posture with let’s say a lot of the stuff having to do with the syntax and the word choice and the justice spellcraft that it is to think the language that you think in the language that you speak in the portents the importance of monitoring that and having a being assertive guardian of your own Magic Magical spellcraft if you don’t have that Consciousness or even if you do and you don’t have these reminders that that that was really extremely powerful and then there’s so many other dimensions and so many other kind of lineages of wisdom and resourcing that you had pulled into this program that was really extremely moving in in and really it’s so far I feel like it’s since that was maybe a few weeks ago when I when I had that experience and I already noticed positive habits and positive reframes in end way way better buffering of reactivity to things and really having a sort of sense of being helped the sense of that experience tweaking subtle settings in subconscious patterns of thought and and visualization so that you don’t have to put all of your focus on these principles and practices they should happen kind of in the desktop background but actually be instead of all the malware that we’re running off and against ourselves it’s actually cleaning up a lot of that malware and actually doing functions that we set it out to do like actually and I love the way you said it we have these mines let’s play with them you know that’s have fun playing with us exploring it so I’m really in that good mood and things are flowing and said I could say I was a tribute a lot of my future success to to this dude thinks you against Hannaford for joining us in if you want to tell us about what led up to this this program and and certainly some of the highlights that you share personally in it and then kind of break it down so we can know what to to looks what to expect from it okay well thank you so much oh my goodness I made it really so appreciate your your kind words and your enthusiasm and it’s so obvious you you listened and you applied what I was sharing and I just so very much appreciate your just your enthusiasm thank you so much all right so I’ll tell you this course came so I have been working with the mushroom now for almost eight years and I encountered mushroom Spirits in its first year of monthly mushroom Journeys that I was doing was called to do and they became like my advisers and one thing that was repeated over and over to my sick Aries skull was get my mind right dear get your mind right is it constantly and you know I have this is interesting I read about this astrologically I’m an Aries but I have a Virgo rising and and and I’ve been a chronic worrier for a long long time and it and and oh my God I have moved beyond that and in a big way for the most part the stuff doesn’t go away but you learn how to manage it properly but one thing I read about Virgos so Virgo is the last sign of Summer and so when you have the last sign of any season like for instance Gemini’s the last sign of spring. Sign is called mutable so it’s mutable not quite Springvale it’s not quite summer but yeah it’s going to be summer and won’t be necessary spring for long it was mutable Virgo OK where’s our summer button Falls coming so it’s this mutable sign and I read that Burgos can can can be chronic worriers and the reason being is that what comes after summer is fall and fall is when things start to die back anyway for me that me a tremendous amount of sense I was like okay okay this is very interesting cuz this is kind of part of my wiring right and anyway and then also text a lot of self-doubt now I am definitely a self-starter and Visionary and all of that but it would be sort of you know the wee hours of the the night when you’re alone special that stuff tends to creep up on you when you’re in bed in your mind is supposed to be at rest and then we’ll would give me at least in the past of every reason why this wasn’t going to work why this is going to fall apart of why I screwed it up for you on and on right like this crazy he’s negative voices that so many people live with and it’s so again we’re back to that mushroom sang to me for you know a long time get your mind right here and and I really I have apprenticed myself to those Spirit teachers I think of them is tutelary spirit and something that has been impressed upon me these past eight years with that medicine is it is all about the power of the mind and and and so what happened to me after a couple years or two or three years poetry was starting to really flow from me and and now when I am called to the mushroom which is maybe once a year it’s a big night and I just go in with my recorder and poetry just flows forth and and and it’s also happened when I went to Scotland and I spent time in the stone circles those are are are located on these geomagnetic hotspots and we’re mostly water and so you’re within that frequency and it will activate a lot go a lot within you just us the mushroom can as well and so so so there was a lot of poetry coming through me then as well and when I say through me it was very much channels and it would come out like I would just speaking into a recorder or I would type it out very quickly and every word rhyme there was no editing necessary it was pretty wild and so and I find they play with words as as the mushroom doesn’t touch with the number of people are like you out yet to find that also you know with it with the mushrooms in Alaska show me people who work with that medicine become really fascinated with language fascinated with with words and an end so in any case so Within These poetic messages also teach me about country training the mind and I’ll tell you also 6 years ago on my 50th birthday I just thought I was going I didn’t do any mushrooms for just a couple years I was going to do 7 for some reason anyway and inside width on a friend’s farm and I was in her greenhouse and these beings came through and just kind of had me for the rest of the journey and I recorded it and one of the beings was studying The Matrix of my mind centrally and stroking its beard sang What a mess what a mess because at the time I was I realized you no looking back I could be so negative you know I mean and it’s hard of course not to look at what’s playing out on this planet which has been playing out for quite some time it’s kind of just look around and go on my God we’re fucked like that’s what I was saying at the time and this being she said if she thinks she’s fucked then so it shall be and and so I listened to that the next day when I was going through the recording and and I just applied deposit and it was just like okay wait a minute wait a minute I know being is trying to get me to realize the power of my voice to power of my thoughts in mind and the power of my voice and and it was a sobering moment for me and indents and kind of the beginning of Korra of I would say a deepening of of this understand and getting a better understanding of kind of how my own mind works and and reality that that I create for myself as a result and and I know you know there was that movie The Secret and they’re all that stuff and in the power of whatever it’s called I don’t know but it’s all the fasting stuff and and you know there’s actually there is great power in it in that but actually think this is very old and I know it’s very old because eventually I found a rising which you can find online deathly free it’s called as a man thinketh and it’s by a fellow named James Allen and he wrote 2021 Pages back in 1905 he was basically riffing off a line in the Bible pretty old book and this line said something to the effect as a man thinketh so he is and so James Allen clearly this haunted him and he really really pondered this and he wrote that just got to putting his thoughts out there on the effects of our thinking on the circumstances of our life the effects of our words how that affects our health our body and and the power of thinking 808 a clear mannered way and in other words he said something and I’m just going to quote the very first one of this isn’t the very first this is around the beginning of of his book this chapter is called effect of thought on circumstances and he writes a man’s mind may be likened to a garden which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild the weather cultivated or neglected it must and will bring forth and so there’s more to that and you know this culture biodynamics that you and I love stock that he is he’s making the analogy that that the mind is its a garden right and so you know traditionally one would tend ones garden and so the mind has to put forth it can’t not so we can if we are not disciplined in terms of our sinking then it it it it runs amok and I mean I’m just I so see in my own life how my own thoughts would would would result and circumstances in my life that would would confirm shall we stay with the way I was thinking or My Philosophy right and and and then my own patterning would continue to repeat themselves I get caught in this is kind of mind Loop and and so his book is amazing it’s a free pdf not really book is 21 Pages you can also go on YouTube and you can listen to it for free and it’s a living person’s voice is not the may I sing and and there’s tremendous wisdom there and end and so we are we are raised from birth we show up here the veil comes down we forget where we were before we came we forget what we are and we are raised by folks wherever they may be for under the spell to whatever degree and then we are cells fall under that spell and then oh by the way then we are indoctrinated in these really deplorable quote on quote education system is run by the Prussian education system in think we spoke about that before that Prussian education system is worldwide and it is all about indoctrinating children into adults who function in unquestioning compliance and it makes them predictable okay and so we’ve all experienced that and then we have a course in media which is also highly controlled and and all of this is it’s it’s constant repetition and so we’re really being programmed from birth and I think you and I have talked about the word government from in Latin it’s go burn witch things to control and momenta is mine and so and were raised in playing with words a cult sure and so really what this has been for me this work with a with mushroom and this work I have had to do with my own mind is a sense of kind of deprogramming essentially deprogramming from all the conditioning that I myself have received and it’s amazing I mean this conditioning it’s it’s ingrained and and and you know I went to a small convent school run by nuns from Nursery School through 7th grade and we were raised to be proper young ladies which failed miserably for me but I can still see that response you know like where we are trained like dogs to respond to Authority in a very submissive way and end so for us fiery and and forthright and opinionated oh my goodness it’s still shocked and upsets me you know when I kind of see myself by catch myself you know the rare occasions I don’t know it was some kind of authority and you realize oh my God that’s just still so deeply ingrained so anyway charge the kind of course talked about this about how the mushroom would help to delete the program and I love how you referred to as malware with system our mind system really is malware and so this stuff takes discipline it takes practice there is no magic pill you know and send this is precisely what James Allen talks about as well like you got to work on this really hard. I cannot recommend his his book enough his writing it’s it’s it’s so it makes such perfect sense and and he writes about fear and doubt that that they always result in failure always result in failure and that you have to be essentially a kind of warrior of your own mind you know and and so and no one else is going to do this for us and there’s no magic pill of course something like the mushroom will certainly help open your mind to the possibility it’ll open your mind to treatment can open your mind a tremendous Insight ultimately the ball is in our court and so something else that the beings been explaining to me first of all we’ll date they speak of the mind is a wand and they have said that actually the Holy Grail is in the mind and I’ll tell you my main teacher Brew join with Johns Hopkins trained MD who walked away from a very illustrious career to be a teacher and he was very young young and very much amiss. He was just a fantastic man and a tremendous influence on my life my life she told great stories you told a story just to give you a copy of an ID on the power of the Mind here and just what we’re all packing without even realizing it he told story about these Studies have been done on people with multiple personalities and there was a woman I looked up to study and found it who has diabetes type 1 insulin the whole deal should true personalities though the other was healthy and so one body one mind and of course she couldn’t do this she didn’t know she was doing this right this is such a mystery to the multiple personality thing but she would go into the personality that he had diabetes and you know she had to take her insulin and and of course they were they were they were testing her blood everything Wendy healthy personality took over her entire body responded and adjusted itself to accommodate the healthy personality no diabetes none so and oh by the way she had two menstrual cycles each month one for each personality and so again she wasn’t doing that consciously should no idea she was even doing that but what that says about what the mind is capable of is pretty extraordinary and also is Celtic Women as a or a gallic woman release better term I mostly Scottish and Irish there so we had in Ireland long long ago The Bard’s the Druid class they were men and women the priest priest S-Class and those people were deeply deeply learn it in terms of the power of the mind right and they would study for 15-20 years and nothing was written down everything was memorized and so it’s it boggles the mind to even think of how you would memorize is very very complex sonnets and stories and and you know that there were that the Poetry was in deeply and coded right so in other words we are like Whisper of what we once were including the way we use our mind like I really know there’s a lot of talk about how we’ve all been dumbed down and and you can say that but really when you start making the air since you know what the Ancients it’s mind-blowing so we’ve got work to do or I’ll say I had and still can’t get work to do you know and explain to me what is dire Everett this whole thing’s Electric it’s electric they said your spirit is electric and also because I am a medium I bring these beings through with they would explain to me when I would bring them to you on the medicine I always required amount of water and so and they would call my vest my body a vessel will a vessel is a container and what are we mostly but water will what does water carry but it’s charged it carries charge and so we are the charge for this body vessel each one of us at Wheaton spirit this body our spirit is Electric in our body carries. Well when I would do that medicine and other beings would come in that those were different currents of electricity and so I would require more water to accommodate the extra current in me and then you have to be careful because you don’t want to fry your nervous system with all that electricity so Connecticut’s they were explaining to me see all of this I got in the mushroom you know they were explaining to me hear your thoughts like well we know shots fired neurons fire they are electric and so every time you think of something you’re charging it and and by the way so we’re mostly water are spirits electric will every electrical cord wire has in a field around it a magnetic field and that field either repels or tracks will we all have an energy field around Aura around our body and that either repels or attracts and there’s certain people who are highly sensitive who can either see or feel your energy field and they can feel stuff in it that reflects that stuff in the fields reflex what’s going on in the psyche of that person and of course we know the alchemical maxim of as within so without and microcosm and macrocosm in so so whatever is held in mind is is is felt in the energy field and and and and reflected in New York field and then and then you magnetized to yourself accordingly and so yeah I said it I just had a vision of visual Kei when you’re saying that my neurons were firing at that will it first I saw a pigpen of course from Charlie Brown and the Flies orbiting him and the end what he was attracting of that effort that’s a shamanic metaphor used before and then I was thinking why I was so there are people who it will probably all of us if we’re in a funk then we basically I imagine being the equivalent of walking fly paper if you were in a negative vibration you’re attracting negative tests that say from the Astros playing who were who are being just by the laws of these of these mechanics like you’re saying the way the Synergy of the way these is systems actually work it’s just effective these things being drawn in and attracted and then I thought well then you could also be on have a more positive walking the beauty way is he might say and you could be attracting hummingbirds can send you could be more like a more like a bird bath vibration and you be attracting all these beautiful benevolent to sip a synergistic beings as opposed to piss in that you could have to but that’s an interesting point this idea if we extrapolate that principle of your either always there’s just the two poles of attracting or repelling on certain on a certain Atomic level and if we are unquestionably inarguably composed of a medium that has that field around it then the only thing that we don’t know without the mushrooms that say showing us or the guy selling us is when we repel or attract what are we what are we bringing in or what are we pushing how do you know if the SATs that was an important I hope to add something you know to the visual visual illustrate it will the state that point I don’t know if that if that sounds like it resonates put on because they’re afraid of the taboo of lesbianism and because it would be against the rules and whatnot so when I melted down and was innocent ceremonies were psychedelic ceremonies were they all of these stories were melted away and it was just women in fucking ecstasy the agony and ecstasy and using my cock as a prop but also as an energetic current in a source of love and it my refinement was allow me to be in that space and I realize that it’s like it is so cumbersome to be responsible for a woman’s orgasm in a love making session why would I want all that burned on myself cuz like I have to add my age I have to think about a not coming to fast beat not losing my erection and in trying to make a sincere and emotional a sincere present connection with the person who I am experiencing this with that is enough for me to have to do now I’m responsible for her squirting and coming of the Saints sake when I saw the leveraging of all these other women and how freely flowing the orgasms come when the openness and the connectedness is there with other women so so like I said I’m not taking a step back and now if anybody wants to come at me they’re going to have to go through that that ate a form of of grade school of learning in orbit black you going to come at me if you want to fuck me you need a black belt in loving me to get in hand if you going to any Karate Dojo they’re not used hey I want to do what you do can you hand me a black belt right now please here I’ll give you a beer can I buy you a beer and then you give me a black belt no stupid you’re so stupid amphib so what was the quote from the movie UHF which is very a so Daddy definitely watch UHF to understand where my sense of humor comes from but yeah it’s good so so we’re solving this problem and creating these designer experiences and so what I realized is that the impulse for a woman to have this one-dimensional relationship with a man’s cock so that she wants to possess it so as you’re a very own the way for me to logically very very simple-minded lycee what is the how do you prevent that is to say well you will learn to get to know my cock at exactly the same time as another person and you will only have a 50/50 relationship with whatever you do you say like you would with your best friend and I had her saying in people may not like to hear me say is cuz it sounds good feed it to your best friend first feed it to your best friend first and I didn’t even think about the secondary effect of that which for me that was just that was just like I’m going to know that you’re not going to lose your mind with jealousy when you can just say here actually you can I’ll let you go first so that would be the the the tantric taboo test of transgression against yourself like that Siri you’re going to lose your mind will feel into that and start simple we’re going to dance together and you’re going to watch just that and is that make your blood boil what happens after your blood simmers down do you start to like so now it’s like whatever that point is where that demon comes out of jealousy you were going to rub the shit out of your clit until it goes and tell you what you’ve you become a demon Whisperer with your clit and me and everybody just wants to create more and add more locks to the fire and you transmute that negative emotion into a positive motion and then in the probably will be called conversion the opposite we don’t have a word for it we do not have a word except for that one which no one knows it set designer neologism but we don’t have the band singing about how good it feels to watch their wife get fucked by Adam Ant And so yeah here we come back full circle so we will be so we’re going to we’re going to have these experiences we’re going to sing about it and and so this is the this is the what the the the climax of this conversation will be in my opinion is is when I talked about how the it’s not just a theoretical Gaiden guiding principle to say oh yeah we’ll will like yeah okay you flip a coin and I have sex first with the person who wins that round and then I stopped having sex with you and hopefully it didn’t lose my wind in 5 minutes cuz I was so fucking turn on by the sexy after they all I got another $5 and it’s over for me for like they’re already like forgot every system anyway cuz they’re tearing each other inside out and everything and I’m just watching and trying to like make it come to live again and finally it will eventually but you should know I’m getting That’s The Hampsterdance the Tantra hence the sexual Jedi Knight training so that you can breathe breathe through and in have the orgasms without losing the love don’t be a 5 lb jump so hit the two feminists so I think I’m going to say okay if she’s dying to give me a blowjob then like we time it for like okay like we’re going to play your favorite song and it’s going to be about the same equal thanks to to her favorite song and you going to eat each other’s favorite songs and I’m like hold each other’s heads and massage each other and just be like holding each other from behind and Miss Priss massaging each other that they take turns but there’s still a potential in that for for jealousy to arise in forever and for it to be I mean I just thought of a way to actually literally short-circuit everything in a really beautiful elegant circuit and so here is the design and I will try to verbally explain unless they can so I love the idea of two women’s hands clasping together around my cock and massaging it gently up and down as they face each other and our eye gazing intermittently so the visual so far is is that the dear beloved goddesses or I are facing each other so actually agency kneeling I’m I am laying on my back and they both are kneeling with their literally as clothes into my armpit is possible so that I can reach Below in between their legs and butt so I can have a hand on each clit and vulva fingers is a good middle finger on the clit and to end so if I’m cuffing the vulva and able to use my longest middle finger to be stroking the each clit simultaneously in patterns you know singer sew and I’m basically playing streams is like playing guitar and make a solo I’m playing shift I have this is because the end of vocalizations or what I’m tuning for it you know so so it isn’t this beautiful instrument of a playing these two young hearts that are kissing each other and like I gazy and exactly is so I’m making sure that they’re not feeling left out in that apartment while I’m being stimulated and everybody is being stimulated sexually and everyone is feeling a part of a closed circuit that is meeting everyone’s needs and in and there’s no favoritism there’s no hierarchy the really so thin and if anything I am as the man in my back and that is what time trick Kali worshipping actual full fully pornographic and I hesitate to use that word was fully glorious erotic depictions of the circuitry of how this stuff works so if it’s if you’re not approve any 3 I mean if you’re not so sexually stunted then you would just understand that these icons are just road maps to the spiritual terrain of understanding the energetics of Shiva Shakti god goddess energy so we’re designing with that and we’re creating a maximum hydraulic energy flows in in in a way that is very egalitarian actually inhibits the growth of the ego and that sense of so-and-so I’ve experienced this in not that exact formation but that’s why I aspire to be a porn director so that I can I can work with people who are very comfortable taking Direction and are not going to lose their minds and so I actually had this conversation today they’re what makes me not a cult leader and what prevents me from ever becoming a cult leader is this one fundamental thing right but I have to study cold it is to know how not to be a quote later cuz otherwise I would just be cranking out so much Kool-Aid day Kool-Aid would have to invent a time to punch flavor you know I got to be sponsored by Kool-Aid the Kool-Aid man oh yeah it would have it I make my own Kool-Aid Man Township anyway after dark okay I wanted how they’ve not sued like I have all of the libelous memes and they feel bad for the Kool-Aid guy I didn’t fucking poisonous people man I don’t mean to be making fun of them and I really got to get serious about not making a joke out of the people who died in the massacre Crazy Eights it’s it’s it’s public domain now to make a joke to either the expression people say don’t drink the Kool-Aid it’s because people at Jonestown were by a charismatic cult leader who was it was an extremely right with it skips a generation maybe but that’s how memes get formed yes so I mean that’s how they sort of deprecated the roots and you say things that we don’t know how does the reason we’re numb it so they don’t drink the Kool-Aid means don’t consent to a groupthink. Virus that makes mass suicide be acceptable and so they poisoned the Kool-Aid punch and that’s how everyone can scented make give it to their kids and everyone is like this is fine and some people try to protest and they were silenced and some people try to run away and it was a nightmare and it was absolutely what I would I must not allow myself to become as a priest that uses sexual mind manipulation and coercive tactics to trade love and affection attention and orgasm for 4 unquestioning devotion into the point of suicide so that that’s the extreme case that that we that is a litmus test for if you were going down that slippery slope but I actually tend to want to study the mental illness of sociopath sociopathy narcissism and I would like to consider myself a benign I’m the benign narcissist I know that that is a character flaw that I am not how we going to like defeat by doing the past limitations as many times that night and I’m going to roll with it and I’m going to say yeah I will be like Howard Stern and I will be I’m going to if I’m going to be this personality I’m going to make a bonsai tree out of my own ego if I can and have other people help in the process but but things going going back to the to the cult thing and what me what gives me the authority to design this orgasmic Orchestra what why and how do you not just become a colder than soy everyone you meet is basically in that on that game board now how am I going to manipulate you to be in this in this position that I would like you to be in to fulfill my fantasy of engineering all this town truck stuff and and if I’m if I’m this is well that’s spit out the Kool-Aid don’t swallow I think what we’ll get to that for sure that’s going to be a we’re going to get to that but can’t forget that we’ll save that for the for the most triumphant moment the climax is when we’re going to use that it’s so precious now after it’s been built up so ever since a joke that’s going about 2 it’s going to explain come on your face it’s going to come on yesterday and you’re going to beg for it and so hits is it is I’ve had people beg me to come in the third eye and it was hard to resist but this is going to be almost as good as that sharing you this one liner inside joke and just a minute but to wrap up this sort of dark out thing that we were doing with the coal thing is that it how do you know how do I hedge against being the creepiest man every like people think that Barney the purple dinosaur because he and forgive me if I’m butchering the facts here but as far as I know he’s doing what I considered to be taboos for me which is charging women money to have sexual penetrative intercourse with them above all without protection and making that into a to me that’s not a scalable business model and you can ask your doctor wife but Barney I mean I get it and I get that that’s the love thing being cultivated generated so I think I don’t know whether I consider that good pressure bad press for modern Neo Tantra or what not but I’d love to have them on the podcast I’m sure it’s going to happen and I can’t say that I was a fan of the art form of Barney the purple dinosaur but but but I would love to get to the full story and also talked about the ethics and this medical the medical duty of care that comes with sexual and pinch of intercourse with anybody so anyway that’s the sad but who were talking about okay what if you were intrigued and maybe turned on by me talking about these erotic circuit boards then you also have to be somewhat red-flagged and starting to cringe and go where how old is this get arranged in what are the incentives and how do you how do you manage the Eagles and how do you who’s in charge it’s like you can’t it’s a scary thing but you wouldn’t work but that’s why when I went when I say what I realized for me the aha moment in my sexual career was that if I want to have out-of-the-box sex I have to pay lots of money for it from professionals who have trained her nervous system to do theater performance of sexuality as escorts or as Dom’s or as porn performers because they’re good sports they’re not spoil Sports about any of the stuff for the most part if they’re treated well and respected and then contracts are here too and they know what they’re getting into and hopefully they’ve matured and hopefully their brain has developed to its full capacity IE the age that it takes to actually I don’t say that to you exactly so you better know there’s a dimension of Ethics when it comes to harvesting teenagers for your for whatever Annette and I have had some of the best sex in my life as a 30 year old being fucked up fucked senseless by teenager in a row in a monogamous relationship and I will I will tell you that it’s it some it was worth the daddy issues that I had to deal with it was worth reparenting her and it was worth every bit of emotional kind of awkwardness that there wasn’t some of the an Amex because she was such a good full spirited Prime late night it was funny cuz I was like I want to settle you down and basically like I could teach your making a kid with ADHD sit in class is like no she wants to fuck wildly she wants you to perform more than you possibly ever could even at 30 and and she and she is not she doesn’t need these esoteric practices too heavy multi-orgasmic she’s fucking coming or brains out like so hard and I and I couldn’t sit her down the aisle still enough to do any of the practices that I thought were going to be so enlightening and went in the great thing is is it a fuck it like it is certain point you just say no guru there’s a song about it’s like no guru no no scripture No play just in the Dow of the thing so anyway so that’s a side note to say there is a sacred place for adult for fully mature brain develop adults to be having sex with teenagers and and I know that it can be done because I’ve done it but it also takes you can’t just treat them like a commodity please you got to you got to think about pedagogy Nikki learned from the person that you’re teaching teaches you things to like a circle so then so we’re talking about these ethics and where I wanted to just close that point about how I do my best to not be a cult leader I thought I figured it out pretty simply and correct me if I’m wrong but basically it’s it’s I dare you to to indict me for the the criminal and civil liability of misconduct for for for structuring a certain way so this is how I this is this is very simple as this is like this I said that this is a different the difference from a cult leader is that I’m a porn director I pay women to be directed and then I pay whoever I want to I will I will I will choose performers who I resonate with for whatever we would like to do together to make beautiful art and and I will compensate them and pay them to take time out of their lives to be a part of my design and to be directed by me they’re not paying me for healing for enlightenment for direction for guidance and I’m directing them and Meghan gratifying myself and taking their money in convincing mind fucking them and taking more of their money and more than money until they don’t talk to their friends because of and that’s how Colts are basically extractive from their students the colors are extracting from their devotees the difference is how many colors do you know that actually give their devotees money I will pay you oh now I’m making corned a porn director and I am more karmically correct than the fucking Guru who is fucking having people kiss his feet and take your money so who would have thought that the corn directors were the most enlightening Yogi’s to ever attempt to be divine and I have my favorites and I’m a fan of some of them I want I want to see the names but right now but that cuz I wouldn’t want to leave any out you know what I mean bless you all for paying people to direct them into your Twisted fucking fantasies and giving them that dignity like hats of their not wondering about it cuz there’s that was having a conversation today it’s like a buyer’s remorse if I say to you I’m just saying if you remember when you had to if you were old enough to know that there was a day when when when your allowance equals one CD for $15 so humorous if you never had experience this is important I think this is important teaching is important teachable moment is that is that and I don’t want to be today. Take care no man’s planning anything in them to have fun here but this is like this is this is late so here’s the funny thing though you think about I remember what it was like when I had to convince myself that amusing that a CD that fucking sucked was actually good because I paid money for it and I would not let myself suffer the indignity of having made a mistake so I was in a state of denial and delusion so so so feeling this isn’t meditation okay everybody think of something that you paid money for that you discovered was in the zoo is suboptimal and you used mental gymnastics to convince yourself that you actually liked it even though you knew deeply that you didn’t like it but it was called buyer’s remorse it was called the sunk cost fallacy of sunk cost fallacy is that because you invested something into this you have to continue beyond the point of no return because you can’t live with yourself other ways so that is this Twisted perverse placebo effect that happens when it’s like I went to the sex guru to get healed and he said for 9999 I would get here and but I but I could also upsell to the bonus extra double healing deluxe super Cosmic Crystal trademark excetera right thing and try before you buy money back guarantee accessories that you’re all of his legal he’s in fine print all the stuff but there is but that’s where it is we’re expecting to have some result that you paid money for and you will question whether or not okay did I was a hole in my heel did I pay enough money to pay more and some money and it is it distorts things and you did it it did contaminated in a way for that so I’m skeptical that I can be done right in that sense and that’s just me so what I say let’s work in the garden together my time equals your time and now we’re planting trees equals an hour of Yoni massage your prostate massage and therefore it’s a flat equal everybody has the same it’s his first come first serve you know and orgasms for work shirts that was my hand jobs for Humanity and helping a tree with two or so you’ll see it yeah it’s a white paper was written so is he ever gets faster so so that’s how I’m not going to be a cult leader is that I’m not going to charge people money to be Pawns in my game of or are you going to be players in my Game of Thrones Township Township twister you will get paid handsomely to be in my theater my game of Township twister and you can quit you can get any time you know that’s that’s that’s the thing to you won’t be like oh if I walk away now you know that then where I’m not like what I paid for I’m I’m already invested so much forever so so many different dynamics of of incentivization happening in this thing is so anyway that that was I think it is important to lay that out and and this is probably the first time I’ve articulated it on the podcast but I just was having this conversation today with this answer the CD metaphor thing where it’s like you know it did that it’s it’s a problem that way so so that’s I will not be extracting money from people in that in that way I’d rather pay them to be in my in my Productions and feel better about it that way so getting back to the fun stuff in the production itself so imagining that that would be the way from now on where I’m like if you want to that’s basically what I just described about that circuit of three people as a minimum to starting point is like that is the that is first base now you know that’s first base because getting into the circuitry of actual intercourse that’s where it required that’s where we get into the medical the medical responsibilities aspects and we get into more of the karmic sharing we’re really swapping scum he’s on an astral level at that point more so than if it’s an outercourse thing and you can’t go back once you know I don’t want to sound like a prepaid only sound like a six- future but but they were right about this mean you’re not wrong about everything they’ve had no sex for anybody ever. Is not the solution to people having sexually transmitted demons running rampant all over the place and it’s about making them your friends and making them work for you not against you and making them expose themselves properly and in you know where it’s not a pure realm we are not going to be perfectly protected in fear we can strive for that and we can use Kundalini and Prana and mantras and all of our medicines in purgatives and things to create a cleaner vessel to make more harmonious more resonance more signal-to-noise ratio and that is what to me this is all about and why we are missing out so badly to not be like I see this if God is wanted you got it for not created to nipples I can’t suck both nipples at the same time I tried some women I can do it on I’ve done it and you can do it some women is possible but for the most part so what does that mean what are you do do you limit God or do you just find someone else to be on the left or right side of you you know what is the big deal so when I think about this math equation how many erotic how many out of the box meaning not really the selective like subjective nuanced little erogenous zones that people get overtime in our lives but the out-of-the-box everybody is wired this way count how many erogenous zones you have and how what is the minimum number of mouse penis and genitals or fingers are human appendages required to simultaneously stimulate all those places it’s more than one person I can tell you that much you know so I just want us to start there and be creative in 2N to learn how to understand that we’re missing out and we should be wanting to gamify maximizing human potential for orgasmic pleasure because that is exorcism orgasm equals exorcism in some cultures who are Les Les Mis Sara Lee poetic about the floury discourse of symbols about sex life like a Latin American Shaman is said about her sexuality in the end in her how she explained why monogamous marriage was not really a thing in a culture that permitted extramarital sex and it was that in her mind and I am not going to say her name to cool her but I will say to paraphrase the essence of this wisdom is that to her mind it was just like an orgasm is like taking out the trash and that is not that’s not to say that it is mundane or a chore it is that it is a responsibility of hygiene in your household of your body Temple you need to have orgasms they need to be fulfilling need to get the job done and that is the exorcism aspect of it so the howling screeching all of these things that are considered that witches were burned forming figli sounds that those are the sounds of actual Holiness the set of holy the sound of Holiness is a woman’s orgasm and so let’s make those come more abundantly and let’s utilize map map the erogenous zones out of the box and then map the additional ones that are my favorite song and when you talk to me like this and this certain place I’m in the back of my head there whatever and then everyone has their own map so we can learn each other’s maps and if you don’t know your own map then you can ask people to help you there’s people who would love to lick and kiss and touch you and head to toe to find and explore you and and from a breasted state of consciousness D nice and yes I like to will you bring out the best in me that’s all I think that’s all you guys add that I can’t top that is the way to end so then really that was we didn’t even know that we put the icing on the motherfuking cake by saying you bring out the Best in Me so there was a documentary about at the peak of my desire to become a a rock star in the the crust Punk metal genre grindcore all that fun stuff I was studying that I wanted to understand and clock the music industry so I was watching every documentary I could find understanding music marketing and all the stuff and then I found this great documentary about about Jimi Hendrix and and I believe it was his fiance at a time who later became his wife if I remember correctly and she was talking about the time where he was building momentum and getting lots of gigs but still underground and she said something that stuck with me forever and if this moment which is it basically the hidden tension was used turn Express yeah we we all knew he was going to get sign or we all knew that you was going to take off he was going to blow up and so she said it was just about if someone puts put the icing on the motherfuking cake you know and I know and I felt that we we’re ready for that and we did some we had some we had some ice and get put on a motherfuking cake we did you get you always want more but I look back and I don’t think we could handle more so we got what we got and now I’m on a different I have a different cake I have a different cake mix and I don’t know if it’s that time I don’t know if it’s time to put the icing on the cake or not yeah I don’t know I mean the cake it’s getting cold she heard it mean if you’d if anyone has icing out there can it please be stevia-sweetened go Steven Johnson I don’t know how to hack them will work on that today I know it’s actually what I heard is that it’s a weird additive that they used to cut it because it’s so super sweet that you would basically died of sweetness if you didn’t like the step on it with some other things so I think that’s why I love growing Stevia and having a leaf to munch on and put in the tea because then you know is nothing else being put into it and it’s just as powerful you don’t really need to if you had the the live leaves one leaf enough will be enough to knock your head off for an hour so yeah I know on that snow yeah we’re going to put this devious fresh leave puree motherfuking icing on the cake I will put the icing on my own motherfuking cake that reminds me in 1 minute I just when I thought we couldn’t go out with a bigger bang this is going to be at because there was a a ritual ceremonial I called we called apart emoni where was the Psychedelic birthday party and we smeared cake all over each other and had to basically devour for the birthday gal of her own cake and it was just nipples and asses and I wanted to be in after from there I was my breasts Elsa. Playing for sure that brother and brother best me for sure but that when I got to put the icing on cake my damn self so don’t let anyone fucking tell you that you’re not none of me if you feel like it I mean I think we’re done I just can’t I’m going to fucking drop my phone right now when I might drop my phone on the couch citizen of the count but oh shit it’s next level add icy Cipher geise that’s going to have some cake with that icing okay thank you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.drudgereport.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and if you want a podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been at Tantra Punk. Com Thomas Day