Deep Inside Video:
In this episode I’m joined by my dear friend and creative brother Calvin Bliss for an exploration of his personal and our shared conscious designer multi media projects. We take a journey into the past to remember the great times that bonded us on the dance floor, in the garden, in the music studio, and beyond. It was an exquisite joy to take the time to really honor where we’ve come from, what we’ve accomplished, and how we’ve influenced each other’s evolution as artists.
We then explore his “Deep Inside” track, it’s origin story, a behind the scenes on the music video shoot, and general advice and technical insight on the art of film making and music production.
His new clothing line Elf Tech is introduced and he shares about his journey into the ure, fashion and apparel space as an extension and evolution of his diverse influences in art, culture, spirituality, community, neo-tribalism, eco-futurism, and more.
Calvin Bliss, AKA: Photon A.D. has been writing music for over a decade, splicing mind-bending glitch grooves over surreal soundscapes overlaying a funky beat. His performances focus on the genres of psybreaks, breakbeat, psytrance, and tech-house. He has played prestigious festivals such as the international Tribal Gathering in Panama, as well as a renegade cruise ship party and a set at the Brown Vortex on Halloween.
Photon A.D. takes his listeners on a journey through sound into the core of their being, uniting minds and hearts in an optimized flow space, fueled by his love for yoga and expanding consciousness.
Among manifesting a delectable dance music career, Calvin also has interest in filmmaking and directed his own music video for “Deep Inside,“ a feature Photon A.D. production. When he isn’t in the studio, Calvin enjoys practicing yoga and attained a Yoga Teacher Training certificate in Rishikesh, India.
AI Generated Transcription:
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin Calvin blessed who has lots of wonderful wisdom and stories to share and we’re going to reminisce a little bit about our origin story together and in the very important. Powerful instrumental role he’s played in in my journey and just want to start off by saying that we both met within the the Psychedelic trance music underground in La back around 2011 and shared a lot of action and envisionary Consciousness around the potential that side trance can have to really help people heal and grow and build community and yeah we’ve been able to collaborate on music and just support each other really is Brothers over the course of many years and so yeah what stands out to you or anything you want you like to share about the early days and now it’s been a few years since we’ve been we’ve been going at it cast of ever been on so yeah thanks for your warm Hospitality but yeah I mean already back in the day and I remember it basically I was like sitting on my couch and I knew this party was going on and I was like I would say I was leaning like 40% towards going and like 60% towards not going and then for whatever reason I just decided to go and yeah and then it was a pretty cool party and then I met you there and I think I just like interrupted some conversation you were having with someone because I heard something interesting you were talking about and then yeah that kind of decision just get off the couch they’re like really kind of changed the definitely the course of my own how way I think about things and lots of other stuff so right on. Yeah I remember that night like it was yesterday and we were talking about really applied psytrance early in a sense of ever being like an open source technology where you could be it could be applying these beats and applying this Rhythm and energy to to actually build Villages build ecovillages together and and take it Beyond just the experience of the dance floor and actually put it to practical use sand in life in and we were just always gives out on kind of hacking site transfer for cultural transfer patient and it’s been a wild adventure since then and certainly you know we’ve added a lot to each other’s lives and I say you know I haven’t felt so much camaraderie in the music kind of romance since I was an early teenager getting in the punk rock and metal you know since then I’ve kind of like lost the passion for those movements to feel like there’s two alcohol and too much on consensual sexuality and just kind of kind of tired and stale politics and but yeah I meant to find to find a really rejuvenating invigorating life-affirming new paradigm / ancient Paradigm of shamanic trance techno music that was conducive to Tantra and conducive to yoga all that stuff matters like a whole new I don’t know who I would be or where I would be without you without you know having share this experience and and I haven’t really shared that experience with too many other people a lot of people you meet on the psytrance dance for you know you’re all in it in the moment you’re all in that present moment but but you don’t always connect outside of that you don’t always you know buddy up beyond that so I just want to again there’s some quote where like you know two people are like these chemical substances you know and their interaction like makes this totally new saying you know this anyway I probably super butcher that quote that says we not the quote but you know it’s just there’s some people that like ignite the spark with each other and yeah I’m really happy to have met you back then and now do you remember that sting you made it was like we’re sitting in the room at this Ranch you’re working on and you’re just telling me about this idea and I think we’re kind of like just expanding this idea together but just of like having sort of like a way to listen to music and do like work together and like we’re like all but we don’t have any speakers blah blah blah and then I was amazed because you just like likes for me like I was just like this like really bad idea but then I see you like in 5 minutes like I’m going to get some tea and I come back and you’re like on a computer hacking some stuff together with some Skype thing and like you like literally made the thing that was just like the idea to me and I think that’s that’s really cool like you know that that you can just kind of connect those ideas like to actually a the physical working thing is that at that point in my life honestly like I had so many just kind of dreams that we’re just like well yeah that be a really cool idea or you know stuff like that but like yeah you definitely kind of opened up the door way to showing me like some of these ideas we have are actually you know a lot easier to execute them that I would think so yeah that was really cool system like we were the couple that what you’re saying it’s like I would not have probably done it and I needed you and I needed that sense of you know it’s like being kids and figuring out that you can put a what connect a wire to two two cans of beans and have telecoms across your ear tree houses and talk after your bedtime you know it was that level of fort building excitement you know me as a mutual a mutual thing like you said and back actually when I was playing playing in Punk and metal bands it was me and this other guitarist and pee in one time somebody who said man you guys are like peanut butter and jelly and it’s a good way of putting it but but yeah man for sure that that was the vibe and and yes might my my kind of mad scientist ideas like Doc Brown kind of idea was to be able to synchronize and create a more harmonious workflow and prevent injuries on like permaculture landscape installations were if you have work Crews shoveling meal together to try to keep it afloat if they don’t bang shovels or or scrape each other and in the end he certainly when you’re turning your back and lifting and things you know the more Rhythm you can have working in teams the better and that’s proven out through all of all of the traditional cultures in the world is still have songs and works on his or whatnot so we can see what we lack that in the West for sure at this point it’s been kind of kicked in crushed out of us but I had this passion about side translate well we could so beautiful and we do not ask for what if we could do that in the garden what if we could do that it when we’re building structures in building ecovillages it would be so great but but we need a way to actually also communicate and you can’t the music is pound and then you won’t have the ability to like communicate verbally about safety or about you know just on a construction site you wouldn’t want to be specially if someone is on the other side of the top of your lungs over the music to try to like talk to them for solving that problem technically was the notion of what what if we can use this early stage smartphone technology to actually run a Skype call and and use it as a third-party plugin to to synchronize and load an MP3 file cuz you couldn’t just like stink it up across a hundred people but they had that thing at the time I think of Silent disco but I don’t think the silent disco had like a walkie-talkie intercom build then so this was this was a hack to get that to happen and then I remembered the moment that that we tested it is like I think something you know it took a couple of tweaks and it kind of work and I didn’t work and then when it fucking works like a football field away from each other doing separate tasks in the Garland jamming to the same beat at the same time and and dancing and talking and it having it be the dream the dream come true my love I think I think that was just a row it’s like 10 minutes before and then it’s like whoa this is really working like dude you’re a genius right now and like like to just literally like I’ve seriously felt like you know like a kid on Christmas because I was like wow I’m dancing to this awesome music right now my friend over there like way over there is dancing the same as you basically built like a silent disco thing which you know those setups are like pretty costly and you’re really technical the bill but you basically built one and then not only that we had this intercom thing to where we could like actually talk to each other and yeah it was like so cool the old dude like check out these lasers on this song and then yeah so that was like really cool so that was my first experience with realizing how how genius you are and how you can like really start creating that reality that I think I think it’s not just you and me and a lot of other people have started kind of like having these glimpses of these visions of this kind of like new paradigm and it was like you had just like turn that glimpse into like wow this is her real tangible experience and it really honestly like can we like what apps are million times more you know advanced in and have to look into it again I just it’s been weird just haven’t been bouncing around so much not having a the real playground to be able to to on that that 16 acre acre ranch to be able to to to really the only thing we couldn’t do there was actually blast the side which I have I don’t think you have I think you have we had just yet you had just barely missed that and are aware I was doing an urban Garden Inn in La I built this whole garden go basically like a burning man style camp on the top of the asphalt at this South Central LA giant Punk Warehouse complex and artist complex and and and there because of the industrial zoning I was allowed to bump the psytrance pretty much 24/7 I don’t know how the people didn’t kill me for getting sick of it but they let me they let me get away with that get away with it and I saw pictures and then some footage there but but that was where I had gotten in that zone if I had just been spending like a year literally bumping psytrance everyday and gardening with it like the secret life of plants and knowing that the whole ecosystem is just totally vibing on and people just watching people come in there and start dancing and fucking shaking it you know shaking the booty chakras and like grabbing some strawberries and just having it all be such an organic thing but but yeah this is like I think it’s all foreshadowing and you know to I was just is this sounded is not more watching you work and you’re a wizard castle of a of a studio making beats and then just dazzling me with your crafts and a video production in and just damn that we just had we have had continually have these bucket list of things to accomplish I think you know yeah I just want to make another note about how you really helps the music of Township on get started from the very first track and you were a Believer you were the first and and and only as Spirit Tasha Punk believer even when I didn’t have the confidence to to believe it would go anywhere or do anything but I certainly felt like I had I had been burdened with this track. I didn’t know what to do with us and you helped put the first beats to it and and yeah we had a sort of creative adventure with Sue Fiona and that that is is held up to this day and really yeah you’re part of that core Collective man so it is really I was like cool that sounds awesome like psytrance goddess worship with awesome vocals Like lyrics like that’s pretty different and honestly though at this at this point I think maybe this is about honestly like a year and a half or two years after I really started producing music so I always kind of just starting to get comfortable with like all this technology I used to actually make the music but I think the one thing that kind of really helped help with that process was I would when I would start like a new song or something I would always like right down on a piece of paper what my intention was for that song Or kind of like what I wanted it to represent or the feelings involved or like yeah like the feeling I wanted to invoke with people so I was super happy to help you and try it and yeah basically we ended up in like my tiny little closet Studio up in this literal Castle in Malibu is on a Mountaintop is pretty cool but yeah we recorded vocals and we ended up trying to do it but then I actually asked you to write down your intention and I was like kind of expecting it to be like you know like oh here’s like a little a little blurb of an intention but your intention was so thorough and like is so details and it it took up accutire page of paper but I think just setting that intention like actually I I think what happened is I didn’t quite have the technical jobs still like finish that song with you I was just you know getting lost in the error messages on the computer stuff and more like some weird thing would happen right so I didn’t end up really finishing that song with you but I think like that process of setting that intention when when we are beginning I think that helps like carry the song onto and I like its next few incarnations yeah that was the that was the garage days that was the the demo version and then someone who came through the psytrance community who who was our an elder to us really in it and someone who has actually like a professional sound designer sound engineer professional mat McHugh he is just one of those guys at that level and he he had I baste a week that’s almost like we did that demo and then he was almost like the equivalent of Capitol Records taking over engine producing at United mean so like we were I wish I would have been nothing without you and then nothing without me and then and then really nothing without him all the stuff works and you know we’ve always said we’re always on a destiny if you know there’s another I remember one time once I started for sing in Fruity Loops you know I was really really primitive and really having no clue whatsoever but you sent you sent you don’t not been producing too much PSI for a while and then you busted out this track that have this really haunting but really enchanting melody in and I totally ripped off of that end in and kind of started to try to figure out how to replicate the bass sounds and and get that sort of thumb that semi distorted it is it’s been a lot of fun just exploring the art form and sharing ideas and and you’ve come so far and I am still so far I mean not too early but it’s like yeah you you got the chops man and so do you want to talk about four people NCAA you know how that goes because yeah I think I’m definitely way more knowledgeable with the software and everything and yeah I was thinking of psytrance man I I heard your new album just the other day and I congrats man it’s great it’s that had some really awesome like moments in their eyes just like shaking My Butt Went Psycho to see you come quiet quiet quite a ways since like you know not even producing stuff yourself at all to like during like what three albums now like yeah it’s awesome so yeah congrats on that or you in that at all. Thank you mental it again all comes back to that that Brotherhood that we shared and me watching you work and me just fucking being blown away and be like I got to learn how to do that like skater like I said skaters skaters who show up and now I got the new kickflip you know I’m like no way I got a fucking to get that down you know what I mean so there’s that healthy expiration competition of like trying to keep each other sharp on things and and yeah man like you the I became such a purist with psytrance that I just got across many different genres do you want to talk talk about your let’s talk about your your Evolution and in float on a d and raffle should be looking at how they can check into Canadian really varied interests in electronic music for quite a while and I think when I met you I was just like sort of coming off this like dubstep typed vibe and personally I had kind of a big issue with dubstep at the time because it was just really I think I think that the phrase they used to describe it is called Transformer vomit but there was a lot of things that I just felt it was just overly harsh and overly sort of masculine energy so I kind of in my inner ear I had kind of started hearing auditory vision of a new type of dubstep that would be I don’t know what sort of a blend between like that kind of heavy sound and then also sort of like some of those really cool technical sound because even though like I don’t really like that sort of like Transformer vomit type music like those producers have crazy sound design skills makes things that are so unbelievably cool sounding and so I wanted to like try to integrate some of those really a great Sonic elements and then with sort of like back to the actual roots of like what dubstep music is a little bit more like like more slowly heavily moving really learning you know how to do all this stuff because it’s pretty wild I mean if if you’ve never opened up one of these digital audio workstations and you have literally zero doing that like it’s it’s like a whole another language and it’s there so many different parameters to learn and figure out like what does what and I mean the learning curve is seriously Steve so yeah I think you it seems like you’ve totally got in through now like who’s actually hard part where it just feels like you’re fighting the machine to where you’re actually like it was a channel your ideas so yeah with this dubstep album that was called love blast and that was basically like my kind of like first you know album where I think I really had a pretty solid understanding of how everything works together actually I don’t know what happened but I just had a big shift and I just kind of the dubstep I was listening to just started feeling really dark and I sort of had a brief until like it’s called Deep dubstep and it’s kind of like I just left like that Transformer vomit stuff and very more like auditorily pleasing sounds like really nice and smooth Butters very dark and I just I don’t know like I just started to feel like it was just kind of like this like really ominous can I like yucky energy still but in a like a less obvious way than the other type of dubstep so I basically was like okay no pun done with this and I pretty much had another one eighty but then I made a small little glitch hop album and glitch hop is it’s a little bit more funky than dubstep music and little bit faster speed too and so that was really cool by I remember it was actually pretty funny because I would always like send you stuff to check out and if you if it wasn’t psytrance you would always just be like yeah you know that’s pretty cool but like can you make some psytrance please Lou and I’m like when psytrance Wednesday and experimenting with different stuff as I like focus on sort of one jonra here and there that you produce so far to me that had that what I really go for most of all with that you were blessed to also have like this parallel gift of a of a female vocalist just into your sister field and so we almost I now that I think about it I don’t think I’ve ever thought for this two together but we really are prayers were answered you know we wanted to bring in that shocked the energy masculine hyper-masculine music forms and have a real talent there that wasn’t just lifting samples to meditation CD you always end up hearing the same ones recycled by bunch of different producers and and and where is the where are the afentika aprotic female vocalist from different cultural Traditions are tribal tradition tradition is it actually show up in the studio and record over the beasts that you’re making him both of us had that authentic experience and it was both a very organic so that’s why would I want to say that track that we work together that are the music video that I was blessed to join you in participating in that track was it is really a nice sounding tea set that transcends genres you want to give us sort of the behind-the-scenes on that whole journey and and certainly which of the music video and the female vocalist like I love those stories of synchronicity in for sure for sure so yeah actually I was at Lucidity Festival which is it’s definitely one of my favorite festivals there’s actually not that much psytrance there but they do have some psytrance but just the overall vibe there is it’s really nice and so I was in my happy place just so you know doing my festival thing and kind of like walks by these two women sitting there and like why was kind of like maybe I should go to talk with them or I don’t know like and then one of them just said hey come and talk with us that’s pretty cool like awesome like really friendly vibe there so yeah I came over and turned out one of them is a vocalist and her name is Alex and you know it was telling her how like I make music I’m always you know looking for vocalist and I think this is a point in my life where I had just gone through this like realisation that you can make such a more rich and enormous sound when you how many voices coming together to create that so I was really like like open to collaborating with like almost anyone that would come my way at that point and yeah she was like okay here’s my number like you know like let’s get in touch and actually I had it like I don’t know probably three or four or vocalist like that I had met in that same kind of like months and I would reach out to them and I’ll just hear nothing back or it’s like oh yeah let’s get the California yes like the time is now baby after the festival Alex actually got in touch with me and you know it was like hey it’s like I really want to sing you know with you and yeah so she lives pretty far away from me but she came out and we recorded a bunch of vocal stuff on three or four songs that I was doing of the time and I just one song basically I had kind of like some basic elements of it was very raw skeletal Types on and that’s the song called deep inside and yeah it is just when I heard her singing on there it was like wow this is the song right here this is what’s been missing she’s just got the most amazing voice and she has so much soul I’m hearing you speak I feel like the if I had to explain to somebody who never heard the word Tantra before and your people ask me if clients and whatnot where should I begin and what should I read and certainly there is I really enjoy Urban Tantra by Barbara carrellas and also the jewel in the Lotus and also the complete idiot’s guide to tantric sex if I never had I’m waiting for this I’m waiting I’ve been waiting for something like this to me again I Just Praise her your style and approach and I really think the what it brings together is it just these two words kind of came to me these two terms just like the Smith self-help genre and the self-help movement is something that is sort of its kind of made fun of or it’s not it’s not really taking totally seriously or it’s kind of like oh yeah you’re there’s something wrong with you and if you were normal you would you would not need to go that route so it’s kind of like a weird something where you might you might lose respect for yourself even by questioning that are thinking what am I going to having a midlife crisis I don’t need that you know what is going on but then with Tantra it’s so you’re such a almost like a martial arts kind of level of self-mastery and self-discipline I really is the sort of Jedi training and I think you bring that you sent the size of those two for me those two opportunities where it’s like yeah you you’re actually using courage and bravery and becoming a warrior but then you’re doing all this really touchy feely deep emotional work and that should that should take care of people’s hesitation to go either on a warrior path or on a more self-help spiritual path that gives you your compelling people to take both and for when men I think they they seek that out maybe they seek the warrior path more than the spiritual path but there’s I think there’s a lot of marketing and hype around that for men but this is really good tip for a loved one country women’s use the word Fierce and they invoke that that energy and they Empower femininity with with that those archetypes so could you talk maybe a bit about what that means to you the that just reconciling masculine or feminine Shiva Shakti really kind of bringing these tools of of strength and resolve and discipline to two women who may be of this been crushed by patriarchy you know for Generations oh yeah that’s a big question right there yeah and that’s I mean being crushed by Peter I came that’s definitely why I wrote the book and I actually why you were talking I just wanted to mention that I have a section on their on you know telling women to how to stop denying that masculine energy or also men love because I find that you know because you know a lot of the women I work with the idiot had just bad experiences with men or with times that they’ve stepped into their masculine energy and so they’ve just been very hurt by it and then they sort of backed away from it and you know I try to work with them on you know it’s about housing balance of Both Worlds and really understanding what the masculine is and also the ways in which masculine and men have been disempowered you know and really starting to take ownership of that you notice a lot of times women are like you know when I start bringing in the masculine they’re like okay I know I bet that’s like to heavy like that kind of energy that they don’t want to work with that energy and they don’t want to explore that energy and so I say okay you know there’s there’s no pressure and there’s no rush cuz you got to do what feels right to you and a lot of time they seem. Just by like stepping in to do that feminine energy because it is fierce right it is courageous it is powerful like you said there is not Warrior quality to it I’m still by simply die do something like this to summon and energy you actually calling up you know those masculine aspect you’re calling up that strength that where your strength at the same time without really realizing it so unconsciously and and you’re bringing those forces them to bounce and I’ve seen that a lot of times with women that I’ve worked but I’m really like surprised at how the feminine wild like this actually you know it’s soft there is softness in the feminine but as you claim it and as you’re able to fearlessly stick with that and embrace set and embodying it naturally you know.. Here’s mess. Power starts to rise time to help stabilize their energy and so it’s pretty much really a magical thing it’s pretty amazing and so I have this part in my book about you know how to really heal yourself from what you thought maybe you know how house Gary masculine energy might be some time I’m sure there are practices that really going to that and yeah and then that’s really a big part of my work to because a man I mean we are in need of some major balance here on this planet and in this life in this world so I really feel the more that we can Embrace anybody and I’m leaning into the feminine that is rising right now in the more we can scan with that the more that we can make space for on the masculine to heal and balance and a bike ride but like Reno really hot like it in excess right but Valance in such a way that it kind of comes down to meet the famine in so that this beautiful kind of dance can emerge Amor Harmony and that would just make such a huge total impact and we just within the body the container of one individual body being able to fuse and merge those energies so powerful yeah I’m really is why I do what I do awesome yeah I can say from experience from the first couple of experiences and session work that I experienced with you then I really got I was able to feel the force so you know that if we’re going to be using that Jenna archetype you know in in there if you want to call Kundalini Shakti goddess energy which is I love calling I love I love hearing of Kundalini as a salmon in force and you were the one who activated that for me and it was just very unusual yeah I remember like it was yesterday and so I appreciate it in you you can get really philosophical and really theoretical but grounding everything into practices to make it as a workbook almost it sounds like this is amazing so you and it’s something that has to be felt in the body to really know what it is yeah it’s hard it’s hard to find words nothing will thank you for all that great work do you feel kind of complete as in that in this kind of brief introduction but but pretty I think it’s a pretty good overview I definitely thrilled to to go deeper with it and others will be as well so I wanted to give the bulk of this episode to this important news of promoting and getting the word out about the book and then but also address questions that I’ve had as a sort of I’ve become a sort of meta Godparent to a lot of different mothers who were rebranding as independent mothers who are in various stages of Court battles with baby daddies for custody and for child support and and I’ve just checking on this sort of I decided I’m not going to reproduce biologically all of my vasectomy but I will reproduce culturally by my being short playing that that more of a Shimano roll in peace and also keeping a little bit of distance from that that this is a an ancient sword of time tree thing of if you are not to be the guru per se but to be an Adept you may have to disengage from householding because there’s just so much mundane kind of learning and things you got to sit through so your country path is always going to be kind of a balancing act between how much of a household are you going to be and what roles are going to have within a community and then how far out you get to go on your own into your mystical practices so I have taken that past of offsetting my my familial obligations a bit so that I could study things from afar and then just go to be this force of will hopefully an Angelic sort of force supporting women who are in different degrees of Crisis that’s just a little bit of a of a context for why it’s important for me now to reconnect with you in a n n learn from you and share your teachings about Tantra parenting the pattern that has been emerging in the question is being asked of me and the view is is how does a woman who has just recently given birth and going through all these different chemical changes and hormonal changes how do you what’s the advice on keeping that spark of love and attraction alive with the baby daddy partner what are some some tricks and tips that you would recommend for for that really critical bonding you know six segments of Life first of all I’m not going to lie. I think the first thing to do is I mean really too kind of except that it’s not going to be the same but. It’s actually you know like I said with you know what having kids how you’re able to look at the things that really matter to you that was so when you actually are with your partner and you have those moments you know they might be less but we are going to be amazing because you are fully present and you’re showing up each moment you know and the end of a lot of for me it’s like when I first became a mom so I had my first son and it was really hard I was just like what cuz I was Dino stole so focused on your child and really wanted to be there to nurture that I and you are you know you’re you’re so deep into it into motherhood and it’s so new everything is so new and exciting and exhausting but I am in a few months I was just like oh my gosh like how how does this work how do we make this work and it was really really difficult very difficult but I found that by you know because I’ve had my kids almost 8 years now until I found that really what we eat sometimes you know if if we need to say like make an appointment with each other and that’s what we have to do if we have to put it on the calendar they okay these are the the two or the three days a week that were scheduling for ourselves for intimacy for connection then that’s we’re going to do that first there was a struggle because my husband’s like okay this isn’t sexy yo after he got over that initial thing it was like okay like we can do this we can make time for this we can we can be intentional about it for us really had to do that because not only was it you know hard navigating with kids now but also the work you know work in the balance of that it was just really tough so that was one of the things that we did the other thing that I want to say is that sometimes you know you you have good intentions but I got at the end of the day you’re exhausted and and then you just end up wanting to just sit there and whatever you want to do watch TV or you know just go to bed until I always like to say that really if you really want to keep that sparked going not to give up just because you feel like okay you know I don’t have that energy right now or I don’t have the time to put into this right now to really see and used Contra in a way that it’s really meant to be experienced right because Todd’s are really isn’t just all about sex right and having that fat set spark Tundra is it much deeper than that and so sometimes you have to tell yourself like okay even though we don’t have time to make love right now maybe maybe it’s just about lying down next to each other synchronizing out of breath making that I contact I’m falling asleep to that I’m letting that be enough you know before you know this night or this week or whatever it is like in the beginning it’s not to really put so much pressure on yourself but to use Simple practice is like you know that you have your own position and just sitting there together and being or maybe you know it’s one night you really need a massage right now you know I really just after having a long day or a long week and be with the kids so much that’s what I really need so communicating that to your partner and really staying in touch with that and not being embarrassed or not feeling like it’s too much or too much of a burden or whatever it is just really being clear about what you deeply need I’m in a lot of that comes down to really checking in you know with yourself all the time and seeing what’s there I really feel like things like that even though you know you might be cuz it’s also self-care right so you’re able to connect with your partner in that way and then you’re also able to have that time must be nurtured and a slowing down which is also key so I think everyone is going to work differently and it’s going to be unique for all of us but it’s really about finding those opportunities to stay consistent to really stay connected in those small tangible ways and mlc really accepting that it’s okay that you know your relationship has changed the amount of time might be able to have to devote to one another Soul has changed I’m not true but you can actually take all that and evolve it into something in a lot of cases that really goes much deeper than that you know because now it’s it’s amazing you know you have this this connection and you know going through motherhood and Emma strikes that that gives you time to actually be able to take that foundation and that strength and that those nurturing abilities and that expression being able to use that with your partner in your relationship I’m having that Foundation really can make me very powerful in a way that’s unexpected just as amazing as you always bring it back to the fundamentals of the practices this is not all hot air to talk about it tell about doing it doing the work and I just feel like it makes me think that I can think of I mean I know some couples will have the foresight to at least make prenuptial agreement but I can’t think of anyone who they actually said we are going to go through the most insane trans transformation of everything we know we can if its first time parents who have no clue what to expect and they and what if they were to get these to be the eye of a storm throughout anyting that’s the Abbey unless Ty gazing the synchronized breathing you can’t touch that space with anything so but but pure Bliss and whatever does need to get work through if it’s done in that space it’s going to be conscious it’s going to be a constructive and it’s going to be a firming so I feel like it’s the what I’m hearing you say and what diarrhea firm is two people listening if you were expecting and you want to keep this container of love together and ever strengthening then start doing his practices now and know that you’re going to really rely on them it’s going to be life-and-death okay we’re just going there so I can breed all right like can’t we just do that let’s just do that next week or let’s just all of that I mean once you start doing it and engaging and you feel that present in your body and the Net Connection you have to just trust that all of that and all of that adds up and all of that makes a difference in your relationship every moment of that that time that you have on to be able to connect in that way as powerful well thank you again for bringing it back to to those core practices again you could have a lot of compliments sure there’s a million complicated bits of advice that people could give for this but this is so practical and and I just I dare people could really do it in and I don’t think you can fail you know I don’t think it’s possible to fail if you have good intentions and you do the scratches so yeah so we were getting also to your kind of making a perfect segue to the next question which is more more about the the asymmetry of responsibility and Duty specially for breastfeeding mothers and mothers to be carried to full-term and whatnot it’s it’s like there’s such a the mail investment just as how I always make this joke there probably less violence in the world is men had to breastfeed but women actually held the babies in their room still so imagine that you wouldn’t be off to go into war and using weapons and guns and swords that she had breastfeeding on demand for whatever after 5 years income that would be great that leaves man with such an unfair and balance of freedom and privilege to not be bound to the those tasks so a lot of women are rightfully lamenting this sensitive of the men who are supposed to be there showing up to with the with the mother is hoping for is that yeah he’s going to go to work and put food on the table and make it so I don’t have to work hopefully or I can work you know in a way that I can still be involved in my children’s lives you know for God’s sake you know who something something not just not just the short maternity leave remind me that the CEO of YouTube is a yogini who is Hardcore advocate for way longer maternity leave or something yeah I didn’t know that I’ll send you a link to a video where it where you get to see that she’s actually really badass them she’s a fierce that ass woman who’s awake I have no idea how did you navigate and how do you recommend for women who maybe don’t have is as blessed of a of a beloved Fixer-Upper type type men how do you get them on board with really going the extra mile of of checking in about about the needs a mother you know mother would have if she is being assertive about her knees in about the new suicide where she would like how can you be humbled to her and just be asking and showing up to being serviced that’s a question that’s a really great question and I have to say that I’m really fortunate with Eric because he I mean he has just him and he is just been a tremendous support from the beginning but then at the same time it’s like I also have to do my part with him right of being very clear about I need you no because then it that this always with him you know in the beginning of special rub up against this when he just wouldn’t know you know and I would be just waiting silently expecting something but he wouldn’t really know that that was what exactly I was looking for right because for women it’s like having that ability to breastfeed and nurture and carry this baby. Room I mean just how we have those abilities so readily at hand and we know what we need sometimes it’s hard to say yeah I need this actually it sometimes it’s hard because where we can be so strong you know and we can put off the 15 so strong and like we have everything together and I know that I do that a lot of time where I’m just like yep I’m good I don’t need help I look what I’m doing all by myself I’m doing all these amazing but that really inside I’m like oh my gosh like what am I I can’t do all this by myself and just allowing your partner that opportunity like okay like this is really what I need and this is the support that I need and this is how I feel going through that and not being afraid to say I am overwhelmed right now you know and and can you please and saying this from a place of love right not from a place that judgment and like what are you doing for me and you know resenting that you know you have more freedom than me and Bubba blah and I’m here breastfeeding or whatever it is not doing it from that place but from you know from your center from a place of love like I’m I’m really overwhelmed I need help with this right now you know can you get up be up with a baby now for two hours because I only had 3 hours of sleep last night instead of just silently you know doing in that moment when you feel I mean I I just I know a lot of of moms and a lot of friends who dust will just be like okay well he didn’t you know my partner my spouse he didn’t step up and so I had to do it and then my will but did you say something and they’re like no or maybe they did say something but you know it wasn’t from that place you know of just clear intentional loving vulnerable until. I think that was one of the biggest things for me especially you know when our relationship I’m like okay and then you know my husband tries to tell me like he’s Eichler like he’s like really I want to be able to show up for you like I want to be strong for you I want you to feel good but he’s like I honestly don’t I just need to to hear it I just sometimes I need to be told or I need to be reminded because it doesn’t come as naturally to me and then show me be mindful of that and not you know not falling to being hurtful or resentful something makes me cute different do you know well that’s really really profound that that really gets to the hardest exactly what I’m seeing go wrong inside once at once that slippery slope really hard I mean it’s kids once this thing start to add up then breaking through that you’re really. It’s really snowballing and that’s your thing everything is this Noble thing I’ve seen it yet so that is great advice I think that work that I said the fly to something if x is kind of ridiculous that it reminds me of I remember seeing young young women and whatever middle school or high school and home home economics class and they will be given an assignment to have a baby doll with them for whatever and in that relationship it’s like okay honey we’re going to do what it’s going to feel like for me to be busy and need help from you and you put in your garden that would be funny if it decided to give people that sensitivity at sensitivity training cuz once it’s already ratchet up and then more expenses than what I’m seeing to notice let me know way more than I do but it’s like I don’t think I think people underestimate the cost of of multiple visits to the pediatrician a week you know it’s like figuring out food allergies and decoding the sugar all of the ways that sugar is is is surreptitiously inserted into packaged food and just it’s such a pill battle to be holistic and to be in at all so it’s just this this is all in on top of just I mean most people are just buying everything off the shelf from entertainment to toys to food to diapers and whatever it is it’s all just off the shelf but to have that effect of wanting to do better than the last Generations or to resist the marketing and be more green or whatever that’s a whole another layer of the building so you know it’s just to get more and more complicated and at the end of the day I see the women just getting ran ragged and the dudes just kind of blowing him off sadly to say but if we could he had say that actually kind of Segways a bit to another question which is and this I mean you could you could write a whole book just on this subject alone out so I don’t expect you to to go too far into it but maybe just some off the top of your head pointers and we can move along quick to know we’re getting close on time so so any suggestions for creative and educational and non-toxic toys just a few maybe went to one website or one store just don’t know anything I don’t know if I’d be the best person to ask about that because I not that they have a choice in general just because you know like all the plastic and everything I mean and we like literally their toys are like one corner of our house like a couple of containers and that’s it and they barely even play them to be honest with you I feel like the simpler the better you know I feel like I’m all about like art you know art projects you know the pain and the crayons and all the art supplies and things like that so that they can enhance their minds and use their hands that way and explore that way they’re into that but I found that you know the purchases that I made with toys throughout the years it’s like that use it and then they’re done and that’s like a big hunk of plastic sitting there are biodegradable and Wooden Spoons and then they’d be busy for 2 or 3 hours you know that they have gotten that I get them they’re like okay and then they open it and then they look at it for 10 minutes and then I end up you know it’s just a way so yes so we do more we like to do more stuff you know in nature I mean they like to play you know what they say they love gospel they love being outdoors they love Ari and they love puzzles and things like that so that’s why I hope that I hope and pray that we will all have abundant opportunities to being healthy natural environments and have plenty of more outdoor time the better cuz there’s some nature is like endless you know just being outside they’re like so fascinated by every little thing the backyard I don’t know it exactly how I like how did the people survived all of those many years ago without these big pieces of plastic and well that is exactly what I thought I hope to hear in and a very firm it if so this is another test of the last one here is probably the the most kind of universal so I don’t know if there is an answer to this question however I died would like to spend I would like to spend my golden years doing a lot more anthropological research on on foraging sigala Terry and societies before you spell hunter-gatherer societies who have basically none of the the neurotic issues that people in the modern world have and and I love to know I would like to believe that there is that there was a golden age of human Innocents where the terrible twos didn’t exist and then that we could decode that and figure out what is it more nurturing Less Talk toxins I mean is it just that there’s so much overstimulation and so many maybe you’re actually able to perceive carcinogens at that age and then you stopped being able to and that’s why I mean it could be anything less or I could just sent them know something very out of balance that’s just modern so I’m just wondering if you have if you were really idealistic about know I’m going to teach there going to be a master Yogi’s by the age of one so that the terrible twos happen though I already beat exam enough I don’t know why you if you were like I don’t know like tell me what that’s been like for you and then if you have advice for people who are in that approaching that Horizon will for me I really I really just try to go with the flow you know just so I’ll talk to style just like accepting every part of it I was just part of the the beautiful messy process of development and growth and exploration and sometimes I do know because otherwise then it’s just become so hard you know what I’m saying because you expect it is you’re going to have meltdowns right it’s not it’s not going to be easy is there at like going to be some very tough days especially in the beginning if it’s going to be hard you feel like what what am I what did I get myself into one of my hairdo evaporate the next moment you know you’re going to feel the most joy and Bliss and happiness that you ever felt like wow that’s amazing that I get to be a part of this process you know that I get to witness this human being growing and developing and it’s it’s just amazing so it’s really you know you know the whole ton truck idea of a flowing through those energy that accepting every moment no matter how chaotic and allowing those emotions and those feelings and those moments to move to you during this challenging time to witness in you know children and young children because it’s like they can like be so happy in one moment and literally within five seconds that can beat me on the floor it’s crazy right it’s like oh my gosh the wide array of emotions from moment to moment and not inhibit that till I I feel like you know it’s like wow for me initially seen that in the beginning and fidget with night was my first one and that you can just move so fluidly like this and just just like that and get so consumed by something else in another moment we just amazing to me so I think we can really take a lot of sign a lot of lessons and just being present at something to a Full Circle closed right now because what I am even before you started to reply that lesson for grown-ups really about about cycling through your full expression and not choking your body is response to a situation out and the full the full body response to a situation I was actually remember me on my phone while I remember a room full of adults it you and Eric’s condo and we were being instructed to behave like children having a tantrum so that we can feel good and actually know the nice that storm there’s like the sun and the blue sky and in the EXO baekhyun the funny faces and doing the monster dance and some just like well you’re probably realizing hits are the times of the exactly yeah it’s it’s pretty amazing to witness is there a word for like reverse parenting or something has got to be a word for the the the from children actually teaching adults what they’re forgetting and I didn’t mean well that’s really it’s a really heartwarming conversation and I feel like the people who are hearing this and who have experienced so much pain and distress that there is such a open source free to use to spend your own time studying it get this book read the book watch Roadies videos I certainly considered to be the highest resource that I like to share with folks because of the same reason they listen before adjusters I don’t feel like there is a knot a snake-oil aspect of what you’re selling and there’s not a sort of a shady ulterior motive saying a gender that I have to worry about and and I just can’t say that about that many people until I’m sure you know and I certainly feel for myself that you know I have I always want to be deferring is often as possible to sort of protect my Integrity to not be the what do they call it like the god cock Shaman is just a narcissistic people’s souls and that’s easy enough to it’s easier to take that route of that that black timeshare manipulate manipulate almost hard not to do it so I mean I’m making and I feel like we are making major effort cuz that’s the complete opposite of what you are and what you and body I mean from the very beginning so yeah no thank you I really feel like you are just I mean somebody who’s just really in there doing that you’re like doing the work you know and you like do it like with an open heart you’re just like in there and you’re talking to everybody and just creating this just really amazing platform. You should be really proud of well thank you again and again I have to say you helped start at all and one of my the first real social proof that I had was that was your gracious licensing of me to share some of the video work that we did together it’s been a blessing that go into detail but all that in that in that previous episode supposed to listen of that and I will say that we we were blessed and burden in this in this time of this episode to take to cover a good intro to the book and also to open this discussion about time to Parenting I definitely want to set the intention that in the future we will give more of a of a deep dive into your personal background and it sort of will let that be a cliffhanger to hear about your experiences early introduction of Tantra and just kind of the got your path of building that confidence and certainly the form give experience Syfy oh my God it all yeah we haven’t got into your filmography either still be there next time to say this for next time to talk about birth because yes I mean not as deep and my experience naturally delivering and doing it with Tantra as my Foundation is the only way that I said I survived it and actually enjoyed it. Arrington have the complete box set free thank you so much thank you so much for having me it was really great and most richest time in in a moment to to share this Basin and certainly yeah it’s it’s a got it just give you a big big bow down because this you were the one who helped me start this this whole journey I don’t know I don’t know who I’d be or where I’d be doing it if we didn’t have a Meeting of Minds you know so yeah I can’t believe I forgot to say this I mean you were seriously you were the first one who discovered my website you were the first one who reached out to me and one of the first that I’ve actually I will say the first that I taught that I didn’t know because I had started already like teaching but like you know friends and friends of friends but you were the first clean one like the first student I was like oh wow yeah that that walked in and like was the beginning of really that Journey so thank you I did not know that I did not realize that that that’s funny so funny I can’t believe I never told you that that’s very well so everybody just like get over your awkwardness and just represent just like bring your egg and no matter what things will come out you know it’ll all fall in place to get back to the Sam and yeah I give them my love and thank them for allowing you to to do the book and for all of the people who parted the sea so that you could get that book done and then provide provide that to us and so much more thank you I know it I just want to say thank you so much for Amy what you just what you spoke about earlier just blew me away how you been stepping up to support women and you know what your mother’s I mean you are really holding for me to space there and this is really something that you know I know that would indeed and you know a lot of them have been longing for so thank you so much for for being that person and for filling that role cuz it’s just amazing the work that you’ve been doing all these years I thank you you planning to see each other that they were they say that it’s the fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree at least in the sense of the guru to train me to be a womanizing pick up artist in the name of conscience so I guess that’s why we you know gravitated toward each other There Was You know. The little like energy so I think I don’t think you would have found that path that was not your will thank you so much again yeah so much so much good vibes and good times and we will be in touch soon and and best of luck with all of your your your book emotional adventurous okay great thank you so much fun. Country Park. Calm and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to see me and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple provide ketologic employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email band at Township Park. Com Thomas gay