Tag Archives: polyamory

Heartfelt Honoring of Diverse Eco-Femininisms with Zanzibar TPP238

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Zanzibar pic

In this episode I’m joined by my dear friend Zanzibar!

About Zanzibar:

Zanzibar is a para-activist, tropho-autonomist donacrat who has participated in sissi-fraternal, progressional sociopercolation for decades. A dedicated Gaiaolatrat and femineurorevolutionary, glomp* has cotextured the trance-linguistics of metre and assonance over great calendrical longitudes. Glomp is a standing-wave emergence from anonymity who shelters in polywombic noir.

 

Coronavirus, Joan Rivers, and The Princess Bride TPP235

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Joan Rivers Reality Tv Show Permaculture Installation

In this episode I tell an epic survival romance story to commemorate victims of the coronavirus and urge folks to do their best to prepare for this and all threats to their survival…

Please listen to this episode for practical preparedness tips:
Basic Preparedness and the Prepping Pyramid TPP246

My (non-verbatim) Show Notes: 

2012 respected consultant on emergency and disaster preparedness and permaculture design

my partner and I landed a well paid gig for permaculture /preparedness survival make over for Joan Rivers’ Joan Know’s Best reality tv show, rest in piece, rest her soul, amazing important wise elder matriarch of the entertainment industry

honor and blessing to work very closely with her, for that day of shooting, brought out big stake truck, moved our chicken tractor, and mini pond, and mini herb spiral, faux backyard permaculture set up

there had been an earthquake in la, mild but enough to feel it, a few things fall of the wall, they might have captured footage of it during the reality tv show filming, the producers after that real earthquake said, we should actually do a subplot within an episode on disaster preparedness, what it would look like for Joan, daughter and grand son to do an emergency prep process

they had a scene showing they needed batteries for flash lights, doing intuitive inventory of what you need to survival, if there was a disruption of systems of support, critical services cut off, would you be able to render your own first aid, provide food water shelter clothing, they got footage of the family going through the motions seeing how unprepared they were

they went to an amazing local survival equipment wholesaler/retailer, it was like disney land for preppers, they were a company they supplied first aid kits, fire extinguishers, water storage tanks, tools, camping gear, I could go on, their catalog was like porn for me, you go in there and wish you could buy everything, just want to live there, if you were an employee and shit hit the fan you’d be stoked, they should have had guns though, maybe someone should establish a gun store right next door to defend it in a shift hit the fan

so I was living out this romance novel story out on this land, peak of a man’s love life, beautiful romance, crashed and burned in a very archetypal and mythical the arch of the whole relationships, set foot on her property to establish permaculture systems which she had wanted for years, just didn’t have the right person to help, there was an opportunity she put out to the spiritual community that she had this land and wanted to make it productive, I hit her up and said this is what I’ve been trained to do and I’d be happy just to have a place to pitch a tent

it was the end of 2011, lots of 2012 energy, wow if I could be bugged out on some land in the mountains where you’re tucked away in the wood lands, less zombie pressure, higher income bracket, going from where I was at the time, when I met her I had been doing an urban survival permaculture training center garden, I built on top of an parking lot at a big punk warehouse artist colony venue

I developed the rugged outdoor survival life style, in the middle of south central la, surrounded by gangs

I wasn’t trying to scam on her, wasn’t hitting on, it just kinda happened, I was attracted, I respected her, she was almost 20 years older, loved the heck out of her, we did beautiful things together

I was grateful to get the fuck out of the urban center, it was sweet spot, in the mountains, but sill close enough to the city to do gigs and stay in my band

but I wanted to live on the land focus on the land, first building my little camp, sproutables as stable food, I still have embarrassing footage of documenting the projects as they went along

as I got my camp established I started to make a masterpiece out of the land, did the permaculture design, set up composts, garden beds, earth works

this was my dream, that I had been cooped up literally in urban projects, now I got to have this giant canvas

I was filled with love and light, and at the peak of virility

I can’t help getting into the romance, we had this banter, it was quite charming

very much the as you wish, sweet wesley, princess butter cup, princess bride kinda thing she’s like a millionairess, owning her property, in a house that she built with her ex-husband, and with their ill-fated marriage and divorce left her with the house all to herself

a shamanic priestess in her own right, I was drawn for the ceremonial opportunities happening there

at one point she had been developing feelings for me, I begun my tantric path and was resolute in being open and non monogamous, doing long trial periods and setting up agreements where we put leases on each other’s bodies, not just permanent access, it’s gonna be metered out and we’re gonna hold true to contracts

that’s not the most romantic part of the story, sorry that’s my virgo, living and learning hard lessons of getting trapped in toxic relationship situations

she was thrilled to see her property come to life, thrilled clip fresh greens, harvest chicken eggs, she was a crack chef, holistic lavish parties

she was healing, in a cycle of healing with some issues that forced her to stop working, she was really actually, for me to come in there at a time where she had so much liquid capital for so many decades of her professional career, and I get there, having come out of the south central punk ghetto, having really figured out survival, minimalism, living outside, I had just come out of that sort of self imposed ranger school if you will, in some ways very extreme and comparable to that, in some ways I’m doing a disservice to ranger school graduates by saying that

I had seen of the colony reality show seasons, sophisticated social experiments, group of volunteers, strangers, with skill sets, put into social experiment of urban survival post disaster, constructed scenario, global pandemic outbreak, they were put into a survival theme park, they peppered in all these different tools and supplies and equipment, had to ration food, solar power, water purification, latrine, living quarters, defend perimeter, it was like a survival obstacle course staged by the producers, of course they hyped the sexual drama and politics, lots of stage, but overall done very well, really brought out patriarchal douche bag in one of the characters, they probably played it up but this guy played a real jerk, if they had a yogi there and they got that guy chilled the fuck out they would have been happier

I was fresh off the urban survival experience and watching the colony season, I wanted to put myself through that, the experience of deprivation, like a full time drill, I was on extremely tight budget, I was very very very poor financially, that was part of the drill, it made it all work

she was brought down to my level even though she owned property, the cost of heating that place, the water bill, commuting, family expenses, it was stress inducing, so for me to be able to come in there with very sophisticated simple and elegant techniques for living frugality, eating sprouts every night, and what I called ben feed, own trail mix, not paleo and bad for teeth and gut though, thought it was great that was no added sugar, but too much carb and dried fruit sugar, so not the best wisdom at that stage, but able to subsist

sprouting grains and legumes make them healthier, less toxic, less carbs

so between fresh chicken eggs every morning, fresh greens and herbs eventually fruits and some berries

I pretty much brought sustenance to her from my humble 5 gallon buckets and mylar bags, I was nourishing her and providing for her and at that everyday it was like farm boy fetch me a bowl of sprouts, as you wish

it led to a moment where she was commiserating with a couple of fellow elder priestesses about her empty love life, and I walk by them, when they saw me and they heard her talking about her woes, they said that’s your man, he’s right here on your doorstep

when we sat together and talked love the first time, I said, something to the effect that I’m like a reference book at the library, you have to share me

another thing she said was that she did test me though, there was an epic project that had to be and I knocked it out for her, and that was part of it too

also she said she fell in love with me when she saw me leading a group of other men repairing her teepee,

she seemed to have been sniffing out the alpha pheromone, though I’m not overtly alpha in terms of being agro or competitive

I felt it for her and she felt it for me, and it was negotiated to be openish, we had a sacred contract ultimately for a period of months of monogamy

we were successful, she was the sales and marketing and spokes model and I was the inventor, builder, introverted, designer, not people person

she was extraverted, our videos still exist where you can see how charming she is

it was the peak of our romance and success together, me building my wares and her selling them, legally registered by new cottage food law

cottage food paradigm shift

we were one of the first, we were rockin, had permaculture workshops, I was in the process of starting an officially recognized permaculture design course with a novel at-your-own-pace format for low income people

we had meet ups, workshops, other instructors coming in, weddings, we sold 150 amaranth seedlings to a wedding production as wedding gifts to all the attendees, can’t imagine how prolific those plants have been, amaranth is my spirit plant

glorious achievements, romance novel come to life

we started going to classes at that survival equipment store, I got my first aid training there, we went there together

we also did the cert training at the local fire station together

we were getting into tactical permaculture, vision of creating seed pellets to be used in airsoft guns so that you would know by what was planted where the kill zones were, better avoid where all the wild flowers were clustered

we had a legitimate, top tier tactical training marksman involved with the project, we started to draft out the ultimately survival permaculture tactical theme park design, motes, edible perimeter defense like sugar cane, blackberries, imagine stick fighting training with sugar cane, or chewing on your night stick while being a warrior defending your goddess temple community, sugar cane staff, for a bit of extra blood sugar if you need to run or fight, imagination runing wild, but it was starting to happen, archery, martial arts training gear, kicking post in the office, talk about warrior goddess temple, permaculture goddess temple, the whole 9 yards, a lot of people have beautiful memories of the time as well, it was epic

so we had started to work with the survival store, and one of our sex magic rituals yielded the mascot of the brand I had established years ago

she had to reel me in and tone done my zombie apocalypse rhetoric, she advised some re-edits on my basic preparedness manual to take out the zombie talk, smoothed out the edges so she could see to other high class soccer moms

I rebranded a more family friendly business card, and the survival store had the business card on their bulletin board, her handy work of getting the business card out to people

so the Joan River’s production crew searched for survival training, found the store, went there and asked if they do home consulting/installation, I believe they said no, but oh here’s this business card from those nice friendly homesteader folks that shop here and trainer here, so they gave the production staff the business card

we got a call, I didn’t even know who Joan River’s was, I think she got the call, and she seemed keyed up, of course Joan has a big place in my heart since space balls, but I didn’t know her name

she was like hey they want to pay us to do this thing on the show, there were some things they were pushing on that I thought would be poor representation, I was worried that we’d be made fun of, make a joke of, and my colleagues would tear me apart of I miss represented the art and science to the masses, preppers and permies can be pretty vicious in terms of political correctness, and one-upmanship, ego bullshit,

but I decided to go along with it, nothing was a huge violation of the principles and science, one thing I really didn’t like but let it slide

I don’t think I’ll burn in hell for selling out

the shoot went well, the chemistry was great, we lucked out, because it was 50/50 if we were gonna be the laughing stock, if you’re Joan Rivers’ laughing stock and she’s gonna bully you mercilessly with her lines, you’d have to have thick skin, I expected since were the crazy wingnut survival freaks, doing this backyard makeover

ultimately it worked out well, in our favor, because the whole series was that Joan had moved in with her daughter to drive her crazy and try to control her life with her humor and divaness, that was the premise of the whole show

it worked in our favor because Joan was authentically on board with us, she got it, she asked about our backgrounds, I said I’ve been a survivalist since I was on the street as a young teenager, saw dark things and had to learn to survive

and my partner grew up more holistic, ranch, rustic, agricultural life, farmer relatives, americana

we clicked so Joan even said you look good together, the most golden compliment you can ever get, what can’t you do if you can impress Joan river’s visually that was a huge compliment all thought one of her staff thought I was my partner’s son, lots of funny moments

they have a whole day of footage and only use a few minutes

so joan hires us to do the consultation and backyard make over and she’s thrilled and gung ho to have us appear to be tearing up the lawn, we’re going to be growing vines all over the place, build a chicken run, turn the pool into a living edible natural pond and fish farm, and so the great thing was that joan was totally on board with everything and stoked and gung ho, and the antagonism was with her daughter

the lines that joan said I couldn’t have paid her a trillion dollars to say, about when the shit hits the fan the neighbors are gonna be lined up down the block to get my eggs, we’re gonna be sustainable, and she was sincere, she was old enough to have a clue about self sufficiency and hard times

it was a beautiful experience, here we are now years later, 8 years later, no longer in that relationship, no longer on the property, I can only hope since we parted was in a pretty ugly meltdown, I love to hope we’d be able to not rekindle but reminisce on what was mostly good

it was pretty acute collapse at the very end after wild success in love and business and the sky being the limit, if what we did for joan rivers was good enough for her even as a joke that’s a pretty good endorsement, we did we teach for the local government emergency committees

got a business loan, we had a mascot, a brand, we were selling buckets of survival food, sprouting kits, trainings, its damn shame, it all comes down to monogapathic behavior, she could follow the letters of our agreement which gave me freedom to be a healer

I told her I was gonna be a yoni worshiper and healer and that’s my path and training before we met, and you’re gonna have to come to terms with that, it doesn’t mean that I’m even that I’m having sex with anyone I may be touching people they may be touching me, that’s where I really fine tuned my deal with women, looking at what are the actually permanent irreversible risks to having an open relationship, incurable stis, sexually transmitted infections, that’s the only permanent way of affecting negatively a primary partner that you have, you’ll heal a broken heart, you’ll get over feeling upstaged and deprioritized, if there’s longevity and strength and security in the relationship, everything else that’s emotional you’ll heal from even it seems so traumatic, what you can’t escape from is incurable stis, to me I say, my deal is like look what we have to design around is that one thing and we can have our hearts open as wide as we want, and our legs spread and our pants off, to the world of everyone else, as long as we understand and acknowledge that how much faith do we really place in just using condoms, do we have boundaries around outercourse, or dry sex, or non fluid bonded sex, there’s ways to intelligently avoid the risk of stis, I know this breaks some hearts, and there were times when I was not willing to reciprocate this in my younger life, but by then I had realized the beauty and the nourishment of a diverse sexual, romantic, and sensual cornucopia of lovers, and patients and clients for healing, and friends, and the idea that would sacrifice all of that to keep one person from losing their mind, it was a horrific melt down of her feeling like she was losing me and losing control of me, I take full responsibility for what I did that was inappropriate, immature, not of high moral character in the process of how this went down,

we would still be friends, we would still together I would still be on that land, still be taking care of the trees I planted, all the life I brought to that land, I would still be stewarding that and would still be in her words the man of the land and we’d still be living happily ever after

I was showing her through my permitted actions what I needed to be happy, fulfilled, and doing my dharma

it came down to one moment that really shifted for me when I started to really branch out, it wasn’t because I was bored with her or sick of her

there was a video that was shot, my experience of modeling for a camera to do tantric session work with a total stranger to me in that day, when I saw myself in that footage, I’m not vane at all I have the least vanity about my appears, I feel unphotogenic, and as JS said, I have a face made for radio,

its not just oh im shy about it, I really break the lens from a lot of angles and I know that, I design my content with that in mind, its not like oh I need to be a star now but when I saw the video, tantra for couples using the five sense

I saw the energy, the level of focus, such a fan of Jean Claude Van Damme, loved his controlled, metered, measured, self contained manner, from spiritual practice and martial arts practice, the refined shiva healing energy you could see it in the grace of my movements

I may not be a 10 on the surface, with big muscles, perfect teeth, perfect smile, photogenic, a-list actor material, that didn’t matter, I could consider myself a 6 on the surface and what was beneath the surface was resonating and emanating so beautifully to my soul, I can really do this work and have it be really compelling, this really does confirm that this is my calling and my path, and remain open

I’ve never cheated, I’ve prenegotiated or precommunicated my intentions, ended one relationship before having sex with a new person, I’ve cheated emotionally if you want to use that dirty word that id on’t like at all, I’ve indulged myself in pleasures with other people emotionally that I didn’t communicate or invite my current primary partner to be a part of and for them to wonder about that was painful for them, still not technically a cheater, I have not hooked up with someone and had sexual intercourse with them without previously ended the relationship before them, I have that gold star on my shoulder for not being a cheater,

but she was not gonna go by the original agreements that we had even though I was not willing to renew the sacred contract, she could have had her take and ate it too, it was just really sad, if she would have been able to share tiny slices of the cake with the understanding that I would not be jeopardizing her health, and that I could have the discipline either not to do anything that could involve transmission of stis, or have barriers, or have testing done, there’s just so many ways that you can navigate that one ultimate deal breaker and there was just no negotiation whatsoever, so it melted down in a very rapid and ugly manner, maybe some day she’ll be on the podcast to ball break me back on that

it was a power couple par excellence, we were doing business together, living together happily, it was really tragic and sad that that happened, I guess this was the time for that story to come out, its relevant to current events because that was the peak of me teaching survival and preparedness, obviously I haven’t stopped living that way since I left, I’ve always maintained ample food, water supplies, first aid, kept healthy and fit, glued to the news, evacuation routes, positioned advantageous in terms of zombies, my career path collapsed losing that space, I still sold some supplies and kits, it really stopped when I had the sexual shamanic spiritual emergency, all that is to say it’s been 8 years since I was at that peak and I have done my solo survival, haven’t been imposing it on people either, roomates, that don’t give a fuck thinks you’re paranoid, every prepper knows what that feels like, family, co-workers, getting people on board its painful for everybody, and it takes those moments of oh there was an earthquake oh shit who do we call, now its time to take him seriously

it’s like you’re crazy paranoid prepper until one moment when the lights go out or there’s a tremor then I’m the savor, whatever, honestly we are like ambulance chasers, its like oh now you’re ready okay what do you have to put on the table, how much money will you put towards buffering this for next time, because it could be the next one big time

so anyone paying attention to the coronavirus outbreak, it will have an official name soon, exposing corruption in government response, digital quarantines, limited by gps, apocalypse 2.0 its crazy, studying this, trying to be ahead of it, maybe I’ll be one of the first to go, you never know, you could be the strongest person, with muscle, and twist an ankle and die in 3 minutes without air, 3 hours without shelter, 3 days without water, 3 weeks without food, 3 months without love

those are your enemies and that is the battlefield, those time frames of conditions that can kill you so I could go at any time, all of my preps could be nullified by anything

but I have done my homework and due diligence, to have a clue and be woke about this stuff

now is the time for people who are having that acute moment of waking up to the vulnerability and all of our taken for granted, normalcy bias, it can’t happen to me

still cognitive dissonance around this virus, I don’t have the medical knowledge to have a strong opinion or a lot of facts to back up any claims about how scared anyone should be where ever they are, I know the places in the world where this is being taken very seriously, that is the sci apcalyptic experience, where everything that preppers do to be ready to either quarantine themselves, or escape the quarantine but do it ethically and go somewhere where you will be ethically quarantining yourself, but to be rounded up in camps is the preppers last, that is the ultimate thing to avoid, you’re subject to rape, search and seizure, being exposed to the virus, exposed to risk of incarceration if you resist or don’t comply, state’s measures are very corrupt

chinese doctor tried to alarm officials of the virus, is now dead of the virus, and was forced by police to sign some fake confession that he was fraudulently alarming the public

there’s been all kinds of fuckery in every country around these kinds of things

I’m not telling anyone to panic, it’s just for me, the modifications that I will make to my lifestyle are pretty minimal because I try to stay away from crowds anyway, I try to do more fist bumps than hand shakes, and when I hear some body snivel or cough I got into a controlled, germaphobic, hypochondriac high alert mode, of don’t touch your face, you can scratch your eye with your knuckle, your knuckle doesn’t touch door knobs, and when you cough and sneeze you can do it in your elbow

I’m not giving medical advice, for myself I look at this and go okay this is cycle of opportunity for me to preach and teach about basic preparedness, I guess what I will do to not be too heavy handed, I’ll put a link in the show notes to the podcast episode I did where I read that basic preparedness manual that has pretty much all of the fundamental procedural building blocks of how you can be better prepared for anything, when the shit hit’s your fan , not the fan

job loss, injury, cut off from income, its not just end of the world event that’s going to force you to institute your procedure and protocols for preparedness It could be something simple

it’s not gonna become the zombie apocalypse show, but it’s the right time to tell that story, so many mythical moments, I loved that woman, I loved that land, for a farm boy like me, that’s as good as it gets, it’s a damn shame the way it went down, but if I’m 80 years old in rocking chair and people ask me what some of the peaks of my life were, I’ll be like well, I’ll tell you story next time there’s a little tiny earthquake that makes you want to prepare for the next one, or next time there’s an outbreak I ‘ve got a story for you, this will be the story I tell

survival and preparedness getting back to the land it can be romantic it can be beautiful it can only get more polyamorous, it can only get less monogapathic, but for all intents and purposes if it was good enough for joan rivers, hopefully what I’m saying is good enough for you, to want to say yeah, what am I gonna wipe my ass with if there’s not a sycamore tree near by and I’m out of toilet paper, how am I going to look at ways to improve and enhance the number of gallons of water that I’m storing on site because a gallon per person for day is a low estimate of what you’d want to have if you were cut off from the main, or the main supply is contaminated, I think it’s worth it to take this moment to really figure out what strategies you may need to have in place

if martial law at any scale or you could just by happenstance, they’re quarantining people now all over the world, different directness of exposure to this virus, for all I know, for all you know, we could find out tomorrow that you were in a place where somebody had a confirmed case, then you’d get a knock on your door, and get taken away, don’t quote me, I’m not making official public service announcements, I take this very seriously, I ain’t going out like that if I can help

like everything else, it too shall pass, but even if it doesn’t graze your life and doesn’t put a dent in your routine, it’s a moment to commemorate

how often do you put yourself through the meditation of lights out, food supply cut off, income cut off, possibly being injured, possibly being infected, being affected by a war zone, unexpected disruptions in all that you take for granted on a daily basis

if you meditate on the vedic pantheon, you should also meditate on shitting hitting the fan, and shit hitting your fan

there was a guy who was the closest thing to a purple breathing hippie yoga master tantric on the survival podcast

there’s an anti-woo-woo bias, as you can imagine by the more conservative, libertarian, and to some extent more christian ranks of the survival movement, yet there is this interesting interplay of the bush hippie and jar head, the bromance, I’m in that dance

but there was this hardcore survivalist prepper yogi on the survival podcast, I’ll be reaching out to that guy

this coronavirus is a catalyst to do your drills, check your inventory, audit your physical preps and your plans, your protocols and procedures, and just be ready for things to get possibly worse, because of this virus or any other viruses, this is just another not so friendly reminder, goddess bless all the souls who’ve already passed from this virus, and let’s do our best not to join them in the big fema camp in the sky

namaste

Divine Communication for Lovers TPP225

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In this episode I share the audio track from the Divine Communication for Lovers video program I released a couple of years ago. It’s a discourse on how to improve intimate communication habits where I share my experience and Herb Spiral Iris shares her insights alongside me.

 

Hacking Group Romance as a Porn Director not a Cult Leader TPP200

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In this episode I’m joined by a mystery guest for a wild comedic adventure into the repressed caverns of my erotic mind. She holds enthusiastic and giggly sacred space for me to get on a roll lamenting about the current state of monogapathic culture. She helps me get through a lot of catharsis in exploring my life history of drama and madness surrounding opening up to more inclusive group sexual and romantic encounters. With her gracious support, I’m able to take liberties in the manner in which I share some of my most passionate and taboo-breaking fantasies. With care and consideration for ethics and holism, I attempt to induce a few laughs as I graphically depict my experimental designs for hacking group romance.

AI Generated Transcription:
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin pillow their beloveds welcome to Township Punk podcast episode number 200 I just got back from an East Coast tour with the punk rock metal band and I’m thrilled to say we had a great time and did very well and I made it back in one piece and this is an exciting episode 200 Extravaganza where are some of my backlog recording this and this was one of the one of my favorite ones that I had to choose from for the episode 200 and I think you will really Joy it is definitely something different it is it is a my first summer unintentional extended comedy monologue with a a wingwoman of sorts and she’s holding space for me to bring forth into a level of of hilarity that I don’t normally I don’t know don’t normally summon and don’t really feel as is often appropriate but once you get on a roll when you start to really stimulate somebody’s Funny Bone verbally then it’s it’s hard not to to just run with his so it may be offencive it may be a little over-the-top and in that what we’ve come to appreciate about that classic stand up comedian form is that you’re able to get away with exposing truths in a very heated very sometimes aggravated state of mind and people cathartically get off on someone else saying what speaking out there are deeper taboo thoughts so if this is the first episode you’ve heard of mine it is definitely uncharacteristic of most of the rest way I tend to joke here and there but really really typically try to be pretty reserved and really focus on a I’m more of a dialogue with a guess this in this case it’s it’s almost completely One Direction all but her being there is absolutely essential in order to get that Dynamic flowing and it certainly in the sense of Comedy it really helps I don’t know how people can just write write comedy in their own inner sanctuary and not have that that reverberation in that that feedback and and dynamic but anyway this is a lot of fun and what we’re talking about what I’m talking about. Manly and she’s helping hold the space for me to really mansplain in an unethical way really is talking about the the bloopers and Antics and Folly and what I’ve learned from attempts to hack this notion of group romance and really learn from a lot of mistakes and really create sort of personal interpersonal living breathing think-tank research experiment out of how to best overcome the limitations that we have in most modern patriarchal monotheistic minago Pathak cultures where our options are very limited and our experience and Expo are two other modes of loving and healing and relating romantically they’re completely systematically cauterized by these Disneyland archetypes of monogamy and whatnot so I get into the higher level kind of macro cultural analysis and critiques and then we get into a lot of really fun really absurd ridiculous and playful visual kind of comedic audioporn take to get through some of the designer ideas of how to how to be hacking group romance and I’m really this is it from my perspective a a male centered male-oriented you could call it phallocentric you could say I’m being a chauvinist here but really I think it’s about making sexual gratification in the feeling of love and connection amongst people be as egalitarian as possible and really work with what you have within your your orientation your identity your group of friends and just explore those boundaries and really gamify group romance and hopefully this really stands is a introductory Treatise on why it’s important to explore these things and what the the payoffs are so hope you enjoy it this is definitely for me one of my top favorite episodes of all time because of where we where we get to in the end of Vibes of it you know I hope that it leaves you rolling on the floor and also curious and also emboldened to take more adventurous steps in the future of your love life all right thank you very much if you’ve been with me along waist episode 200 thank you for for being with me and enjoy this historic episode thank U Namaste and they would not be comfortable with you hacking the storylines of of compulsory monogamy and telling stories very festive stories about what it’s like to like not be in patriarchy and like it she does she know yeah that’s what good for sale teacher reflect a picture or no one’s happy everybody’s miserable and just whining about it new relationships breaking out and being her and then just repeating the cyclist over and over is very defeatist like cry about level of times but at least you’re feeling something at least you’re not a total sociopath narcissist like don’t even care spending to steal it self-inflicted stuff too cuz you just like wanting holding on to like the painful stuff I guess we’re like people that aren’t making like the best for you but it’s sad and it’s like Basin and being married and being screwed if you lose that Financial Lifeline life support so there we have listed this is the in permaculture design Geoff Lawton and it likes to use this teaching to a witches that when it comes to like agriculture what you’re talking about gardening earlier today but it’s like this so if you only plant one crop in a field that’s a lot like fishing with a single line where they know that if that crop fails or that line breaks your your your Sol and so the smart Fisher person would say I let me fish with a net so that if one or even several of those lines break with internet I still have a functioning device here so that’s what you could systems do and that’s why polyculture in gardening and Horticulture polyculture means multiple different phrase things as opposed to monoculture so you can make this analogy very happy to monogamy and monoculture and still what’s resilient in an ecosystem diversity right the more diverse ecosystem the more resilient it is the more flexible adapter is in more abundant and flourishing it is so monoculture monogamy monotony it’s and then that’s why people are living in this wounded heart broken real disaster of a reality and it’s just profit people that make the Laurie handlers cuz it seems like I’m she said in her podcast if this was a easy the country cafe or sex and happiness she said to podcast over the years she makes an excellent point that she’s over his doesn’t not interested in the heartache that sells and wants to crack break your heart open to love everyone pretty much and to have new experiences and to be open to new experiences and so have a very regenerative heart and I would like the concept of being a heart Gardner so like I’m trying to I have not just one heart that I love her that I tend I have a garden that I attend of many hearts and some of them need more attention at times some of them you know every more self-sufficient some of them could tell me to get lasted for cough and don’t even want want me like even looking at them and everything in between so then you know being a heart Gardner and trying to keep them all alive and and not neglect them and be responsible for like letting them Blossom letting them rot on the vine either you know anyway so there’s so much to learn and so much to sing about so sincere singer I’m a singer we’re going to think about this stuff. We also actually I need to have experience to know where the fuck were talking about so that’s where we begin with what where does the authentic Journey actually begin and that’s where we and I just watched Breakfast Club where they were it’s like this painstaking process of socially engineering the truth out of what how and what circumstances virginity was happening or not happening so we all have virginity is two different things even if we popped her cherry City this week so so we’re at the precipice of The Virginity of your experimental lesbianism is it a few dedicated to your not identified as a woman now what do you mean what I mean is that my I’m very interested in the notion of you having sex with a woman if you if you want to sit at one point I was very blunt and I asked you and I risked I risked being considered a British attend to try to do that so it’s basically asking if I’m if you’ve ever had if you would have ever had sex with a woman and if not would you like to and you said you would like to but you like to what you say roll around with me first right I think that’s yeah so that could be arranged so basically you know that’s compromised that’s that’s how you have probably that’s the beginning of it is like what do you need what a minor needs how can we meet in the middle somewhere and so well this is what is so interesting to me and what I am going to share is like my design concept that I put a lot of effort into trying to figure out which is this is that okay if we really break the stuff down what we don’t have what we have a lot of experience of as children is being gently yet with with I would say lowercase authoritarianism weird we are compelled by adults to share toys and we learn against whatever maybe that jealous or envious nature or selfish nature we learn to to actually eventually Delight in the gift of sharing something with others so that we actually realize that there’s this abundance of my face you know it’s not like hopefully it’s not like you don’t eat the toy in the toy is something that doesn’t get destroyed after one use of the toy I’m so that you can hand it on and and let other people experience so what somewhere along the path of puberty we get program to lose that fundamental sociability and Collective position of like the toys that we would be sharing on the playground and once we develop and grow and have her own public Parts in appropriate age appropriate settings to explore Inn Express in which we all know is lacking in this culture and that’s why we have abusive all kinds cuz we don’t have rice passage and we don’t know when we are to do wet when howl with himself in a healthy way or holistic way I should say so we’re we are fumbling in the dark trying to figure this stuff out and somewhere we get cursed with these imprints of monogamy that is compulsory compulsive Naga me bound up in Notions of being a prince and a princess and all of these socioeconomic status oriented ways of like something being mine a person me owning that person this status symbol so there’s I’m not saying anything for you know this groundbreaking to indict these memes and this culture architecture and you know they have spoken to like many people feminists just look at feminist anthropology in the critique of domestication in the in the critique of civilization and patrilineal descent and the the the the way that wealth and land and power is handed down from a meal bloodline Emil name Inlet that’s why you control you would need to control the female sexuality and reproductive freedom in order to guarantee that your son gets your land in and not someone else’s so that’s that’s the patriarchy connection and we want to what super tall that perverted and silver and actually compost the patriarchy is she so I don’t think there’s a there’s no there’s nothing more subversive then then then opening up relationships because once you start buying less because old do do we need to each have our own garage filled with tools from big box stores or can we all share one fucking tool set amongst us all lovers sharing each other’s bodies it’s not rocket science and it’s not rocket science way they have made it so difficult to be relating sexually openly with computers with a peer group and neighborhood of adults because they want us all to be in our little boxes buying one of every that have everything and not sharing anything and therefore it cuts into their bottom line so we are doing our best to compost the patriarchy to be subversive and actually have a lot of fun doing it it’s not a dip revation and sacrifice to have more fun sexually with more people it is a little bit more requisite of time for emotional care and tenderness for sure it’s complicated and it is and is medically important to be but if it’s as if you can play any video game that you play any board game you can gamify Sexual Health in a group you can end in the end not to do bring it to the light and be like okay well we match here like literally HSV expressing in one part of the body can match to that and another person other parts of body and you can pretty much pretty much know you’re safe at that point there’s there’s ways to gamify these things so that you know curses can be blessings in yet make it very used that’s who we need to design the user-friendly interface for people to connect and 4 shame and not even just the end of course the STI status stuff but also people who just have body issues about so we can be mixing and matching his stuff and yeah. There’s an app for it kind of a thing you know in this world so so we’re getting there and you know you pull the card and you know people who so it will and that’s why that’s the reason to do yoga so that you can hold these sexual positions forever because he like baby words said when a man basically two pair of fruit to fear fear for his baby Ward and I’m mixing a couple of I’m adding a couple together of her if you’re beautiful phrases but basically if I were Davey word I would probably say something like if I if I was balls do you know when your balls deep in me I want it to last forever I want your penis in my vagina forever and I can’t Rainman how to make that possible and actually there was a good scene in Jerry Maguire where she asked for him to she’s don’t ever stop fucking me in a kind of like kills the mood when he says I think I’ll have to stop at some point and then they fucking break up with a douche no sorry to tell you I love you tons hear me okay forget about it Interview with the Vampire okay stop me somebody for the cold water on me right now all right yeah it was Saved by the Bell you is just batteries going to last all night long you’re you’re you’re getting okay so it’s yours work as graphic this is where he’s going to get more perverted this is building it up so building and Outdoors like what is it why does this matter that’s why why am I trying to have so much fun packing monogamy and the shame and the pain and the jealousy and the limitation it’s just it’s false it’s completely insane and in deranged and and I will not tolerate it for one more second my life and in that spirit I say I’ve done the boyfriend-girlfriend thing I’ve done in monogamy thing I’ve done a jealousy thing and then a hard brake thing so if somebody enters my life and is attracted to me I go out how this is interesting erotic energy flowing in my direction how can I not manipulated not abused if not not not heard it or harm it but actually let it flow through my little garden design of more pleasure and then also this is the thing where I feel like I’ve made an important hack an important this is because this is been going back to how we learn to share so this is as an adult with adult content adult appropriate settings of course but really bring it down and that’s why I am a huge fan of psychedelic sexuality because it inhibits the neurotic aspects of the ego and if you’re going to trust in space and you have referees and you have good guidance and going on in people are observing and being Sheriff’s that to the boundaries when the people are you know any in there Altered States but would you with the beauty of it is that you get to explore again and you get to explore bodies and he could do store your own body and it’s not a story about who’s owns this and who’s rights to this and fuck where’s all the paperwork and did I swear to it tonight so that’s and it doesn’t have to be an orgy of people fucking very sloppily very carelessly when you get into the tantric practices of massage wherever it’s about it’s really the best things really happen with the most intentional experts killed manual and leading up to of course different forms of penetration with genitals but it’s underrated how much how much pleasure and how deep deep healing we can be with their hands with each other in and really there’s no excuse not to be doing that cuz you’re not going to make babies and they just called outercourse or mutual masturbation went on so that’s where rather than rushing from first base to second base and all of that hyper rush to the Finish Line stuff fit culture this culture is trained to do you actually can start out saying okay it could literally be a fun and fulfilling and safe Friday night for a group of friends 2 take each other to take their clothes off and use their hands to induce different types of orgasms in each other consensually and into explorer that and so that’s where I say the games of politics becomes like whose are you fucking that is long as you if you if you keep that off the table a little just long enough and this is what so at what I have there is like a Zone that is safer emotionally and medically to play in in groups to actually start to rewire and meltdown those belief systems so that you have a clean slate in in your capable of exploring slowly and building on the new Pannu template that you design and we’re very plastic a blank brain can be reformatted we can 3 format is hard drive as many times we want there’s no limit to it and we were it’s absurd to think they were stuck in a 2000 year old paradigm I’d rather be in a 200,000 Euro Paradigm cuz that’s where the real phone was happening anyway but we’re going to get to the Primal Anarchy of lovemaking groups in just a minute now so break here’s how we break from breakthroughs goes invisible prison cells in our minds about monogamy and so I figured it out like how I would like to conduct a ceremony words like okay this is my penis here and there’s people that want to play with it and put it in different parts of their bodies and hopefully have a good time with it and if it really like Gibson gets them there and brings them there and then delivers the goods then they will become deeply deeply addicted to that experience and Anna on a level that is that is beyond any extreme passion of any terrorist has any ideology the amount of passion that and I would say a woman from in my experience the level of chemical spiritual just that’s what we should be living for men who love who love women is like for them to be taken so far out and so far in that they will want to kill other people who take threatened to take that experience away from them I every other women that you’ve ever known that you might never know so that’s where we have this conundrum which is like it is so good like I want you to be obsessed with me but I do not want you to be obsessed with me you know cuz that’s right cuz I’m going to kill myself if you’re not obsessed with me but I’m going to run away from you and run into the street if you’re obsessive me so either way I die do you know yeah and I had to run in the street to avoid women who are obsessed with me and it’s no joke cuz otherwise I would have thought they didn’t love me if they weren’t a homicidal maniac it’s right so there’s a way to disperse that energy and it’s like oh wait a minute he’s fucking me but I’m making out with a woman and looking into her eyes and who do I lose what it oh my God is I don’t know who is fucking me right now but it feels great and I agreed to it like I signed off that anyone can fuck me tonight with this and that and this so like I don’t know who to write the check to you know what I mean like anymore it’s just too much just don’t stop so I’ve been there and I’m never going back to the the the hell rounds it is about diffusing that pleasurable experience across so many different Souls that it’s impossible to Tribute it to one person and really I believe that this is not an astoundingly long wide penis that I have that I think is perfectly shaped to do what it was designed to do and I’m happy with it whatever yeah I’ve gotten good reviews so far in life women who wanted to kill other women because they were so possessive of this thing that it’s just like always wants to do is just be warm and wet and love them that is so I have a beloved partner and you know I would kiss your boobs goodbye and tell him to be good every day knowing if she was like why I never did anything bad to anybody ever and I realized that was the pure essence of innocence is Brett’s cuz like you can never say that they ever do anything bad to never manipulated anybody they never play games with anybody they just give and give and give you know so anyway that’s another story if we could only all aspire to be as innocent as a breast but never do anything to hurt anybody ever never had to be told to be nice just what is nice you know x-ray sexual Zen state that people would have to meditate for years if they didn’t eat mushrooms to figure that out like become a breast and live in the consciousness of breast in this and just experienced pleasure and give pleasure and don’t fucking overthink it you know it as long as everybody is of legal age and sound mind and knows what they’re signing up for essentially we can work out the details but I’ve been in those moments where it’s like yes what’s making this woman lose her mind and ecstasy is 80% the emotional connection with other women that she is sharing and then I am there to be basically a prop to the beautiful. Theater of feminine understanding and that is when I understood For the First Time The futility of women trying to squeeze blood from a stone to make bullheaded dumb men who would rather be playing video games or breaking shit or glowing sit up or doing something fucking mindless and heartless for fun and just acting them and making them be a woman when they’re not a woman because they can’t explore sexual intimacy with other women because they’re afraid of the taboo of lesbianism and because it would be against the rules and whatnot so when melted down and was in a sensor Moniz were psychedelic ceremonies wear them all of these stories were melted away and it was just women in fucking ecstasy the agony and ecstasy and using my cock is a prop but also as an energetic current in a source of love and that my refinement was allow me to be in that space and I realize that it’s like it is so cumbersome to be responsible for a woman’s orgasm in a love making session why would I want all of that burden on myself it’s like I have to at my age I have to think about not coming too fast beat not losing my erection and in trying to make a sincere emotional sincere present connection with the person who I am kissing is with that is enough for me to have to do it now I’m responsible for her squirting and I like coming in the same say when I saw the leveraging of all these other women and how freely flowing the orgasms come when the openness in the connectedness is there with other women so so like I said I’m not taking a step back and now if anybody wants to come at me they’re going to have to go through that that ate a form of of grade school of learning in or black ass like that you’re going to come at me do you want to fuck me you need a black belt in loving me to get in and if you go into any Karate Dojo they’re not even said hey I want to do what you do can you hand me your black belt right now please here I’ll give you a beer can I buy you a beer and then you give me a black belt no stupid you’re so stupid Bibb so what was the quote from the movie UHF which is very a so you definitely watch UHF to understand where my sense of humor comes from but yes I’ll good good so so we’re solving this problem and creating these designer experiences and so what I realized is that the impulse for a woman to have this one-dimensional relationship with a man’s cock so that she wants to possess it so as you’re a very own the way for me to logically very very simple-minded lycee what is the how do you prevent that is to say well you will learn to get to know my cock at exactly the same time as another person and you will only have a 50/50 relationship with whatever you do you say like you would with your best friend and I had her saying in people may not like to hear me say is cuz it sounds good feed it to your best friend first feed it to your best friend first and I didn’t even think about the secondary effect of that which for me that was just that was just like I’m going to know that you’re not going to lose your mind with jealousy when you can just say here actually you can I’ll let you go first so that would be the the the tantric taboo test of transgression against yourself like that Siri you’re going to lose your mind will feel into that and start simple we’re going to dance together and you’re going to watch just that and is that make your blood boil what happens after your blood simmers down do you start to like so now it’s like whatever that point is where that demon comes out of jealousy you were going to rub the shit out of your clit until it goes and tell you what you’ve you become a demon Whisperer with your clit and me and everybody just wants to create more and add more locks to the fire and you transmute that negative emotion into a positive motion and then in the probably will be called conversion the opposite we don’t have a word for it we do not have a word except for that one which no one knows it set designer neologism but we don’t have the band singing about how good it feels to watch their wife get fucked by Adam Ant And so yeah here we come back full circle so we will be so we’re going to we’re going to have these experiences we’re going to sing about it and and so this is the this is the what the the the climax of this conversation will be in my opinion is is when I talked about how the it’s not just a theoretical Gaiden guiding principle to say oh yeah we’ll will like yeah okay you flip a coin and I have sex first with the person who wins that round and then I stopped having sex with you and hopefully it didn’t lose my wind in 5 minutes cuz I was so fucking turn on by the sexy after they all I got another $5 and it’s over for me for like they’re already like forgot every system anyway cuz they’re tearing each other inside out and everything and I’m just watching and trying to like make it come to live again and finally it will eventually but you should know I’m getting That’s The Hampsterdance the Tantra hence the sexual Jedi Knight training so that you can breathe breathe through and in have the orgasms without losing the love don’t be a 5 lb jump so hit the two feminists so I think I’m going to say okay if she’s dying to give me a blowjob then like we time it for like okay like we’re going to play your favorite song and it’s going to be about the same equal thanks to to her favorite song and you going to eat each other’s favorite songs and I’m like hold each other’s heads and massage each other and just be like holding each other from behind and Miss Priss massaging each other that they take turns but there’s still a potential in that for for jealousy to arise in forever and for it to be I mean I just thought of a way to actually literally short-circuit everything in a really beautiful elegant circuit and so here is the design and I will try to verbally explain unless they can so I love the idea of two women’s hands clasping together around my cock and massaging it gently up and down as they face each other and our eye gazing intermittently so the visual so far is is that the dear beloved goddesses or I are facing each other so actually agency kneeling I’m I am laying on my back and they both are kneeling with their literally as clothes into my armpit is possible so that I can reach Below in between their legs and butt so I can have a hand on each clit and vulva fingers is a good middle finger on the clit and to end so if I’m cuffing the vulva and able to use my longest middle finger to be stroking the each clit simultaneously in patterns you know singer sew and I’m basically playing streams is like playing guitar and make a solo I’m playing shift I have this is because the end of vocalizations or what I’m tuning for it you know so so it isn’t this beautiful instrument of a playing these two young hearts that are kissing each other and like I gazy and exactly is so I’m making sure that they’re not feeling left out in that apartment while I’m being stimulated and everybody is being stimulated sexually and everyone is feeling a part of a closed circuit that is meeting everyone’s needs and in and there’s no favoritism there’s no hierarchy the really so thin and if anything I am as the man in my back and that is what time trick Kali worshipping actual full fully pornographic and I hesitate to use that word was fully glorious erotic depictions of the circuitry of how this stuff works so if it’s if you’re not approve any 3 I mean if you’re not so sexually stunted then you would just understand that these icons are just road maps to the spiritual terrain of understanding the energetics of Shiva Shakti god goddess energy so we’re designing with that and we’re creating a maximum hydraulic energy flows in in in a way that is very egalitarian actually inhibits the growth of the ego and that sense of so-and-so I’ve experienced this in not that exact formation but that’s why I aspire to be a porn director so that I can I can work with people who are very comfortable taking Direction and are not going to lose their minds and so I actually had this conversation today they’re what makes me not a cult leader and what prevents me from ever becoming a cult leader is this one fundamental thing right but I have to study cold it is to know how not to be a quote later cuz otherwise I would just be cranking out so much Kool-Aid day Kool-Aid would have to invent a time to punch flavor you know I got to be sponsored by Kool-Aid the Kool-Aid man oh yeah it would have it I make my own Kool-Aid Man Township anyway after dark okay I wanted how they’ve not sued like I have all of the libelous memes and they feel bad for the Kool-Aid guy I didn’t fucking poisonous people man I don’t mean to be making fun of them and I really got to get serious about not making a joke out of the people who died in the massacre Crazy Eights it’s it’s it’s public domain now to make a joke to either the expression people say don’t drink the Kool-Aid it’s because people at Jonestown were by a charismatic cult leader who was it was an extremely right with it skips a generation maybe but that’s how memes get formed yes so I mean that’s how they sort of deprecated the roots and you say things that we don’t know how does the reason we’re numb it so they don’t drink the Kool-Aid means don’t consent to a groupthink. Virus that makes mass suicide be acceptable and so they poisoned the Kool-Aid punch and that’s how everyone can scented make give it to their kids and everyone is like this is fine and some people try to protest and they were silenced and some people try to run away and it was a nightmare and it was absolutely what I would I must not allow myself to become as a priest that uses sexual mind manipulation and coercive tactics to trade love and affection attention and orgasm for 4 unquestioning devotion into the point of suicide so that that’s the extreme case that that we that is a litmus test for if you were going down that slippery slope but I actually tend to want to study the mental illness of sociopath sociopathy narcissism and I would like to consider myself a benign I’m the benign narcissist I know that that is a character flaw that I am not how we going to like defeat by doing the past limitations as many times that night and I’m going to roll with it and I’m going to say yeah I will be like Howard Stern and I will be I’m going to if I’m going to be this personality I’m going to make a bonsai tree out of my own ego if I can and have other people help in the process but but things going going back to the to the cult thing and what me what gives me the authority to design this orgasmic Orchestra what why and how do you not just become a colder than soy everyone you meet is basically in that on that game board now how am I going to manipulate you to be in this in this position that I would like you to be in to fulfill my fantasy of engineering all this town truck stuff and and if I’m if I’m this is well that’s spit out the Kool-Aid don’t swallow I think what we’ll get to that for sure that’s going to be a we’re going to get to that but can’t forget that we’ll save that for the for the most triumphant moment the climax is when we’re going to use that it’s so precious now after it’s been built up so ever since a joke that’s going about 2 it’s going to explain come on your face it’s going to come on yesterday and you’re going to beg for it and so hits is it is I’ve had people beg me to come in the third eye and it was hard to resist but this is going to be almost as good as that sharing you this one liner inside joke and just a minute but to wrap up this sort of dark out thing that we were doing with the coal thing is that it how do you know how do I hedge against being the creepiest man every like people think that Barney the purple dinosaur because he and forgive me if I’m butchering the facts here but as far as I know he’s doing what I considered to be taboos for me which is charging women money to have sexual penetrative intercourse with them above all without protection and making that into a to me that’s not a scalable business model and you can ask your doctor wife but Barney I mean I get it and I get that that’s the love thing being cultivated generated so I think I don’t know whether I consider that good pressure bad press for modern Neo Tantra or what not but I’d love to have them on the podcast I’m sure it’s going to happen and I can’t say that I was a fan of the art form of Barney the purple dinosaur but but but I would love to get to the full story and also talked about the ethics and this medical the medical duty of care that comes with sexual and pinch of intercourse with anybody so anyway that’s the sad but who were talking about okay what if you were intrigued and maybe turned on by me talking about these erotic circuit boards then you also have to be somewhat red-flagged and starting to cringe and go where how old is this get arranged in what are the incentives and how do you how do you manage the Eagles and how do you who’s in charge it’s like you can’t it’s a scary thing but you wouldn’t work but that’s why when I went when I say what I realized for me the aha moment in my sexual career was that if I want to have out-of-the-box sex I have to pay lots of money for it from professionals who have trained her nervous system to do theater performance of sexuality as escorts or as Dom’s or as porn performers because they’re good sports they’re not spoil Sports about any of the stuff for the most part if they’re treated well and respected and then contracts are here too and they know what they’re getting into and hopefully they’ve matured and hopefully their brain has developed to its full capacity IE the age that it takes to actually I don’t say that to you exactly so you better know there’s a dimension of Ethics when it comes to harvesting teenagers for your for whatever Annette and I have had some of the best sex in my life as a 30 year old being fucked up fucked senseless by teenager in a row in a monogamous relationship and I will I will tell you that it’s it some it was worth the daddy issues that I had to deal with it was worth reparenting her and it was worth every bit of emotional kind of awkwardness that there wasn’t some of the an Amex because she was such a good full spirited Prime late night it was funny cuz I was like I want to settle you down and basically like I could teach your making a kid with ADHD sit in class is like no she wants to fuck wildly she wants you to perform more than you possibly ever could even at 30 and and she and she is not she doesn’t need these esoteric practices too heavy multi-orgasmic she’s fucking coming or brains out like so hard and I and I couldn’t sit her down the aisle still enough to do any of the practices that I thought were going to be so enlightening and went in the great thing is is it a fuck it like it is certain point you just say no guru there’s a song about it’s like no guru no no scripture No play just in the Dow of the thing so anyway so that’s a side note to say there is a sacred place for adult for fully mature brain develop adults to be having sex with teenagers and and I know that it can be done because I’ve done it but it also takes you can’t just treat them like a commodity please you got to you got to think about pedagogy Nikki learned from the person that you’re teaching teaches you things to like a circle so then so we’re talking about these ethics and where I wanted to just close that point about how I do my best to not be a cult leader I thought I figured it out pretty simply and correct me if I’m wrong but basically it’s it’s I dare you to to indict me for the the criminal and civil liability of misconduct for for for structuring a certain way so this is how I this is this is very simple as this is like this I said that this is a different the difference from a cult leader is that I’m a porn director I pay women to be directed and then I pay whoever I want to I will I will I will choose performers who I resonate with for whatever we would like to do together to make beautiful art and and I will compensate them and pay them to take time out of their lives to be a part of my design and to be directed by me they’re not paying me for healing for enlightenment for direction for guidance and I’m directing them and Meghan gratifying myself and taking their money in convincing mind fucking them and taking more of their money and more than money until they don’t talk to their friends because of and that’s how Colts are basically extractive from their students the colors are extracting from their devotees the difference is how many colors do you know that actually give their devotees money I will pay you oh now I’m making corned a porn director and I am more karmically correct than the fucking Guru who is fucking having people kiss his feet and take your money so who would have thought that the corn directors were the most enlightening Yogi’s to ever attempt to be divine and I have my favorites and I’m a fan of some of them I want I want to see the names but right now but that cuz I wouldn’t want to leave any out you know what I mean bless you all for paying people to direct them into your Twisted fucking fantasies and giving them that dignity like hats of their not wondering about it cuz there’s that was having a conversation today it’s like a buyer’s remorse if I say to you I’m just saying if you remember when you had to if you were old enough to know that there was a day when when when your allowance equals one CD for $15 so humorous if you never had experience this is important I think this is important teaching is important teachable moment is that is that and I don’t want to be today. Take care no man’s planning anything in them to have fun here but this is like this is this is late so here’s the funny thing though you think about I remember what it was like when I had to convince myself that amusing that a CD that fucking sucked was actually good because I paid money for it and I would not let myself suffer the indignity of having made a mistake so I was in a state of denial and delusion so so so feeling this isn’t meditation okay everybody think of something that you paid money for that you discovered was in the zoo is suboptimal and you used mental gymnastics to convince yourself that you actually liked it even though you knew deeply that you didn’t like it but it was called buyer’s remorse it was called the sunk cost fallacy of sunk cost fallacy is that because you invested something into this you have to continue beyond the point of no return because you can’t live with yourself other ways so that is this Twisted perverse placebo effect that happens when it’s like I went to the sex guru to get healed and he said for 9999 I would get here and but I but I could also upsell to the bonus extra double healing deluxe super Cosmic Crystal trademark excetera right thing and try before you buy money back guarantee accessories that you’re all of his legal he’s in fine print all the stuff but there is but that’s where it is we’re expecting to have some result that you paid money for and you will question whether or not okay did I was a hole in my heel did I pay enough money to pay more and some money and it is it distorts things and you did it it did contaminated in a way for that so I’m skeptical that I can be done right in that sense and that’s just me so what I say let’s work in the garden together my time equals your time and now we’re planting trees equals an hour of Yoni massage your prostate massage and therefore it’s a flat equal everybody has the same it’s his first come first serve you know and orgasms for work shirts that was my hand jobs for Humanity and helping a tree with two or so you’ll see it yeah it’s a white paper was written so is he ever gets faster so so that’s how I’m not going to be a cult leader is that I’m not going to charge people money to be Pawns in my game of or are you going to be players in my Game of Thrones Township Township twister you will get paid handsomely to be in my theater my game of Township twister and you can quit you can get any time you know that’s that’s that’s the thing to you won’t be like oh if I walk away now you know that then where I’m not like what I paid for I’m I’m already invested so much forever so so many different dynamics of of incentivization happening in this thing is so anyway that that was I think it is important to lay that out and and this is probably the first time I’ve articulated it on the podcast but I just was having this conversation today with this answer the CD metaphor thing where it’s like you know it did that it’s it’s a problem that way so so that’s I will not be extracting money from people in that in that way I’d rather pay them to be in my in my Productions and feel better about it that way so getting back to the fun stuff in the production itself so imagining that that would be the way from now on where I’m like if you want to that’s basically what I just described about that circuit of three people as a minimum to starting point is like that is the that is first base now you know that’s first base because getting into the circuitry of actual intercourse that’s where it required that’s where we get into the medical the medical responsibilities aspects and we get into more of the karmic sharing we’re really swapping scum he’s on an astral level at that point more so than if it’s an outercourse thing and you can’t go back once you know I don’t want to sound like a prepaid only sound like a six- future but but they were right about this mean you’re not wrong about everything they’ve had no sex for anybody ever. Is not the solution to people having sexually transmitted demons running rampant all over the place and it’s about making them your friends and making them work for you not against you and making them expose themselves properly and in you know where it’s not a pure realm we are not going to be perfectly protected in fear we can strive for that and we can use Kundalini and Prana and mantras and all of our medicines in purgatives and things to create a cleaner vessel to make more harmonious more resonance more signal-to-noise ratio and that is what to me this is all about and why we are missing out so badly to not be like I see this if God is wanted you got it for not created to nipples I can’t suck both nipples at the same time I tried some women I can do it on I’ve done it and you can do it some women is possible but for the most part so what does that mean what are you do do you limit God or do you just find someone else to be on the left or right side of you you know what is the big deal so when I think about this math equation how many erotic how many out of the box meaning not really the selective like subjective nuanced little erogenous zones that people get overtime in our lives but the out-of-the-box everybody is wired this way count how many erogenous zones you have and how what is the minimum number of mouse penis and genitals or fingers are human appendages required to simultaneously stimulate all those places it’s more than one person I can tell you that much you know so I just want us to start there and be creative in 2N to learn how to understand that we’re missing out and we should be wanting to gamify maximizing human potential for orgasmic pleasure because that is exorcism orgasm equals exorcism in some cultures who are Les Les Mis Sara Lee poetic about the floury discourse of symbols about sex life like a Latin American Shaman is said about her sexuality in the end in her how she explained why monogamous marriage was not really a thing in a culture that permitted extramarital sex and it was that in her mind and I am not going to say her name to cool her but I will say to paraphrase the essence of this wisdom is that to her mind it was just like an orgasm is like taking out the trash and that is not that’s not to say that it is mundane or a chore it is that it is a responsibility of hygiene in your household of your body Temple you need to have orgasms they need to be fulfilling need to get the job done and that is the exorcism aspect of it so the howling screeching all of these things that are considered that witches were burned forming figli sounds that those are the sounds of actual Holiness the set of holy the sound of Holiness is a woman’s orgasm and so let’s make those come more abundantly and let’s utilize map map the erogenous zones out of the box and then map the additional ones that are my favorite song and when you talk to me like this and this certain place I’m in the back of my head there whatever and then everyone has their own map so we can learn each other’s maps and if you don’t know your own map then you can ask people to help you there’s people who would love to lick and kiss and touch you and head to toe to find and explore you and and from a breasted state of consciousness D nice and yes I like to will you bring out the best in me that’s all I think that’s all you guys add that I can’t top that is the way to end so then really that was we didn’t even know that we put the icing on the motherfuking cake by saying you bring out the Best in Me so there was a documentary about at the peak of my desire to become a a rock star in the the crust Punk metal genre grindcore all that fun stuff I was studying that I wanted to understand and clock the music industry so I was watching every documentary I could find understanding music marketing and all the stuff and then I found this great documentary about about Jimi Hendrix and and I believe it was his fiance at a time who later became his wife if I remember correctly and she was talking about the time where he was building momentum and getting lots of gigs but still underground and she said something that stuck with me forever and if this moment which is it basically the hidden tension was used turn Express yeah we we all knew he was going to get sign or we all knew that you was going to take off he was going to blow up and so she said it was just about if someone puts put the icing on the motherfuking cake you know and I know and I felt that we we’re ready for that and we did some we had some we had some ice and get put on a motherfuking cake we did you get you always want more but I look back and I don’t think we could handle more so we got what we got and now I’m on a different I have a different cake I have a different cake mix and I don’t know if it’s that time I don’t know if it’s time to put the icing on the cake or not yeah I don’t know I mean the cake it’s getting cold she heard it mean if you’d if anyone has icing out there can it please be stevia-sweetened go Steven Johnson I don’t know how to hack them will work on that today I know it’s actually what I heard is that it’s a weird additive that they used to cut it because it’s so super sweet that you would basically died of sweetness if you didn’t like the step on it with some other things so I think that’s why I love growing Stevia and having a leaf to munch on and put in the tea because then you know is nothing else being put into it and it’s just as powerful you don’t really need to if you had the the live leaves one leaf enough will be enough to knock your head off for an hour so yeah I know on that snow yeah we’re going to put this devious fresh leave puree motherfuking icing on the cake I will put the icing on my own motherfuking cake that reminds me in 1 minute I just when I thought we couldn’t go out with a bigger bang this is going to be at because there was a a ritual ceremonial I called we called apart emoni where was the Psychedelic birthday party and we smeared cake all over each other and had to basically devour for the birthday gal of her own cake and it was just nipples and asses and I wanted to be in after from there I was my breasts Elsa. Playing for sure that brother and brother best me for sure but that when I got to put the icing on cake my damn self so don’t let anyone fucking tell you that you’re not none of me if you feel like it I mean I think we’re done I just can’t I’m going to fucking drop my phone right now when I might drop my phone on the couch citizen of the count but oh shit it’s next level add icy Cipher geise that’s going to have some cake with that icing okay thank you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.drudgereport.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and if you want a podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been at Tantra Punk. Com Thomas Day

Holistic Sexual Health with Alexandria Baker TPP185

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Tantra Punk and Alexandria Foxxcroft Pic

Happy Valentines Day!

This episode is the audio track from the Holistic Sexual Health instructional video featuring Alexandria Baker. We geek out on best practices for sexual health from a holistic perspective. We address the fundamentals of protecting your body temple from sexually transmitted infections, ethical disclosure and management of persistent infections, safer alternative approaches to “hooking up”, and much more!

Here is an info graphic that helps illustrate my approach to love and relationships:

Spiral of Intimacy graphic

About Alexandria:
She’s a southern California sex educator, Hatha yoga instructor, ethical luxurious natural beauty and skin care entrepreneur, model, and performance artist.

Please visit Alexandria’s website and Youtube channel at:

https://www.fromalexandria.com/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcTemJEFn3GVpGuCbJnu6Yg

AI Generated Transcription:
(Want to help with corrections? Please contact me to learn about rewards for your efforts!)

Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear beloved Smoke on the township on podcast episode number 185 I’m doing an episode to commemorate Valentine’s Day I have a the audio track from a video that I did with alexandrea Foxcroft and it is to sex Geeks talking about how to have holistic Sexual Health considering many factors of what’s going on on the surface of the virology of sexually transmitted infections and also the psychology of relationships and the building of intimacy and various stages that can help help to prevent disease and unwanted attachments and really it’s it’s based off of something that I’ve called the spiral of intimacy in the past and I will include the graphic in the the episode pages is a graphic that I like to use to give people more opportunity to think out of the think out of the box when it comes to do the bedroom in really how to protect your body Temple how to be smart and safe and have a safe and sane Valentine’s Day so hope you enjoy it on this day do you want to talk about what now what are some of the standard kind of approaches to teaching safer sex practices it’s been in my life evolved since the real big HIV early days and you know now we have these superbugs that are you know antibiotic-resistant and so there’s a whole new threat landscape that I need to be educated about so yeah wait what are you what are some some basics from the field so I grew up in a private school and semi-synthetic sex education was very minimal it was taught in a class called marriage and family and it was pretty much one day of if you have unprotected sex you are exposing yourself to the risk of Gonorrhea chlamydia herpes HIV and the emotional distress that will come from knowing that you had sex outside of the Sacred vows of marriage and we didn’t get that education on what to do to prevent STDs or STIs and fortunately in public school systems many across the country they do give an overview of okay if you you if you were going to choose to have sex here is hot what you can do to stay safe this is a condom this is how you put it on using some sort of genital proxy like I like a banana or maybe eat something that’s in another thing that’s in the shape of a penis so that you can see how you unroll it and put it on and I didn’t have that education myself this is just from talking to friends and talk and text for its how this is what what these classes are like but we still don’t discuss what pleasure is and how to have an experience that is beneficial and positive for all parties involved and so that’s where I would like to see our next step of sex education come in and very infrequently do we talked about oral barriers which are just as important as using condoms for men and condoms for vaginas and these are important components to bring into the sexual conversation so that we can stay safe and stay healthy even have pleasure while doing it and yeah we love that so that’s that’s really important and I would love to shift the conversation from when you get an STD this is bad you did something that’s wrong too things happen I get colds I’m sure you’ve had the flu before it’s an illness and with a lot of these STDs and STIs you can take an antibiotic get a shot we had medication that allows you to live a life that’s fairly normal or very close to normal if not just as normal as before you were diagnosed with this STD or STI and so it’s not this horrible life ending thing and to pull back on that shame in that stigma will be fantastic and that also comes from being more comfortable with talking about it and be more comfortable talking about it with friends or with Partners or people that you’re thinking of having sex with just to normalize that dialogue more and start talking about condoms and start talking about the different kinds of protection that you’ll use and it can even be discussed in a sexy way like I’ve certainly had a bit of metal for play with talking about okay play well all by my favorite kinds of condom and you buy your favorite kind of condom and we’ll see what feels better and we’ll see what we like that’s like that it can be a little PC thing definitely definitely won’t I feel like this is the the kind of attitude approach this really a valley re-evaluating and really honoring the gift that condoms are you know in history of the world I can commiserate with the masculine perspective that it can sometimes make it can sometimes interrupt cycles of arousal and make make arousal difficult to achieve or to sustain that usually affecting people as they get a little bit older and it’s not so much of a big deal younger but then you know there’s a million excuses for why people want to be inconsistent in their their practices which is where you get in trouble you know is is to make poor decisions and so there’s that there’s that potential issue is also just the idea some people say wearing a condom is like wearing a ring gear in the shower you know that me and this bring out some of the heating stuff at Big O’s on and there’s excuse excuses and this is what I want to say and talk to you about a little bit so I see fluid bonded partnership which is the I think the a sweet and sexy but also clinically kind of accurate way to see if you’re not using a barrier than your fluids are coming into contact him and you’re being bonded it at a deep level there and so it also lends that concept of like well you should be very spiritually bonded and very ethically bonded with whoever you were fluid bonded with because there’s a high level of trust and responsibility that goes with that so this is kind of something to a line of thinking like that you know what process with you yeah which is that a lot of people don’t really preserve they don’t hold their sexual health is very precious and obviously if you get drunk and you’re blocked out then even if you did hold a precious Steven capacity to having a sloppy sex with people while you blacked out so what I would love to see people have is this a deal that being fluid bonding with with one or more persons is a very sacred very precious very requires a lot of trust and a lot of Integrity to hold to hold that title because if you have that title with someone and they expect a high level of discipline and integrity going both ways you know you can’t if you were to share that food botanist with too many people at once that don’t have integrity then you end up reaching the purpose of having that bond in the first place you know what you say and you may have you met both have the same status of the same can you may both have HIV and they both have different forms of you know HPV or HSV and you can look up the alphabet soup if you don’t know it later but being fluid bonded doesn’t just mean that you’re afraid of everyone else and you’re never going to have sex with you when I was cuz I cure the you managed to avoid all temptation and now you have the Slate clean you know slate to work with that’s one reason to have that I do want to hold on to it or it could be the you that you both know that you are carrying something and you would feel better about not exposing other people to it and feel better about just having that openness with each other and that was another another aspect of it but to a question for you from this line of thinking it would be how how would you possibly help people get to a point where they say themselves I’m going to be hyper-vigilant about barrier protection with strangers and people who I don’t know and trust and I’m going to sample and experiment and explore the world and and have fun out there at parties and you know wherever out in the wild you know get the freak on and have your fun while doing it every pleasure while doing it but having that consistent barrier practice them and knowing you put gloves on at the cellar bar and I think at home you take the clothes I do get what you’re saying and if I’m hearing you correctly from your point of view it’s like if you want to go out and be freaky and have fun like that at sex exploration do it be safe without it be smart use protection and in that relationship where you are more committed and you know each other sexual histories and you’ve had that discussion so that you are aware of the risks involved you can remove this barrier so that you can reap the rewards of having sex without needing to use a condom and I am very much of the camp that when you have sex with someone especially when you are fluid bonding having sex without barriers you are establishing a spiritual connection you are allowing yourself to enter their energetic fields and exchange that energy and receive their energy and give your energy and to do that I like to have a sense of who that person is and what they bringing with him and giving to me so that I can share with them something that’s really important and sacred to me which is my my Sexual Energy I find that exchanged very sacred and very important and with the reward of having really good fulfilling sex with someone that I trust and I have that intimacy with also comes the risk of potential pregnancy with certain people or potentially getting a venereal disease and that’s why it’s really important when you decide to remove the barriers to already have that trust and that knowledge established like getting STD tests had that conversation allow that to be part of your practice with your partner so that you know what you’re getting into and you know it you’re potentially exposing yourself to and if you have the same as to DS I said is that something that you to decide consciously together and if you wish to go out into the greater world you have that at the Clone Wars fonts ability to keep your fellow man safe fellow men women however you identify safe because we’re all in this together and we can slow down prevent the spread of diseases with that conscious awareness of okay I am getting into a situation that’s the heating up is feeling sexy I can either choose to be protected not have sex or run the risk of exposing myself and my partner’s to whatever it is that I carrier they carry and you know that with watching this you you’re you’re making yourself aware of this and I hope that you can continue this conversation so that we can break down the stigma of these conversations that might be awkward at this point but make him a little less awkward when talking to your friends about it talk to your family about it was that you who you can have these conversations within we can normalize it so that we can be healthier for ethical sexy people awesome yeah I feel like there’s this pattern of young guys in the locker room talking about getting the first base and second base third base and see if along that line of thinking is if it could be more more of the idea what to say that there is a hit if unprotected an unprotected is not as of the Food Lion has more positive sounding and unprotected sex like a scary and dangerous it invokes that that energy of fear but the I think we all know that it’s a hindrance to use condoms but there is a cost-benefit and a risk-reward algorithm you have to run in your mind the pros and cons with any person anytime and if if the real gift if the greater gift you could give to someone else is the gift of your body skin to skin contact all the way a hundred percent you know with the potential of conception being even there it’s it’s a that’s the real that the Deep this the greatest gift you can offer like you were saying if you’re going to share that it’s not going to be frivolous you’re going to guard that and really be measured about who you share that with and so it’s I guess the point I’m I’m feeling here is just that it’s a lower Stakes proposition to say to somebody that you might be interested and say hey I don’t know if I want to inherit all of your karma all of your jeans all of the diseases you may have that you know about or don’t know about so why don’t we start with having sex with a condom in to see how that goes for a while and then we can maybe shake hands if it doesn’t work out for a long-term thing or a family thing or whatever thing and then we won’t be having to either hide or explain something to the next person that we have that level of experimental kind of like a trial. You know I mean if your if you don’t if you had if you have casual sex with people and you’re looking for a long-term lover lover than basically you’re sampling the population in your having this little child. So if another reason to have like that at least temporary approach to consistent protect used to protection is it like this is how I kind of simplified is just that you know there are people there people who I love so much to where I would suffer with them by their side with whatever they were suffering with and the and it would be worth it to me and I would send I would feel good about an okay with it that even if we broke up later even if you know something we split apart and I’m like that for the rest of my life I carry a piece of them which happens to be some in a little bit of DNA code that’s a virus or something and I will carry out with me for the rest of their life and I will always look back and think about how the story of me having that was it I love this person so deeply that I wanted them to feel like inhibited to share themselves fully with me and I wasn’t like keeping them at a distance and that was like a beautiful thing and we shared that consciously as opposed to being like oh man I had this hit-and-run what states have a 7 do I don’t know their name I don’t even remember where they are and now I’ve got this thing I have to deal with and I’m going to feel like crap about it and I’m going to want to lie about it or hide it and not shiting you know that that’s the worst is to actually have something get it in a way that doesn’t feel healthy you know energetically and then cover it up and conceal it for however long and that that’s where the from a tantric respected the karmic consequences of Deceit you know it’s bad it’s is not just the physical test that you do know for all that so so what are some myths and misconceptions you’ve had to encounter as an educator and just in life you know think reasons why people are four ways that people are or not taking things slowly through I guess when I go to college campuses and I educate one of the most common things that was at first like really people think this is when we offer free condoms so so I don’t need that I don’t have any STDs but they’ve never been tested or if they don’t have a partner that they talk about this way or they think that just because they don’t have an STD then they they’re not going to come across someone who might so really even if that person that you’re getting to know smells great looks great has an awesome attitude seems really smart they may have an STD and STI that they’re not aware of her that they are aware of that they’re not sharing with you and so when you get into it sexual situation you’re exposing yourself to whatever they might and they can either share that willingly if they know about it or they can keep it a secret willingly or just be completely unaware so to have condom have Paw protection using oral barriers here just setting yourself up for having safe sex practices that allow you to continue to have great sex I hope have sex that doesn’t have that that shame that he might carry or that fear or just that thought of while maybe this is going to be the time that something happens and it’s I find it easier and it just more pleasurable when I’m not worried about worried about that I know that I’m keeping myself safe that’s just one thing that I that’s not on my mind when I want to be fully present in the moment with my chosen partner do that young and I think with another so a lot of people will try to get away with the bare minimum or something of the sort of a cop-out or some cognitive dissonance around it that only happens to Immortal people ordered on crustacean whatever it is like whatever like you said it’s kind of a a pretty weak system of logic to have its really self-defeating so another kind of myth that I think should be busted or explored at least it’s just the idea that all I get tested once a year you know so I’m fine when hey it’s really the best I mean that the best you can share with your that’s our answer for my perspective it’s a hypochondriac if you start out in the sexual risk exposure game with the assumption that everybody has everything and condoms pretty much prevent almost everything almost all the time and when used properly then you are not subject to anybody’s trickery or deceit or falsehood around that’s why I’m fine and I don’t need a condom for I get tested very regularly and same thing it’s it anytime you have exposure you could have been tested two weeks ago if you were exposed to someone since then and sometimes it takes a while for for your system to start to show signs that are detectable by STD STI tests that you that you have something so even if you were tested a month ago and we’re clean five months from now you might show that you’re positive for something it’s all good information to have believe me I looked like to know someone and someone has a working knowledge of the different STIs that are out there a difference between bacteria and viruses and by having the knowledge and knowing what to ask for knowing which which tests are often omitted fruits and let’s talk about making barrier sexy and what did I see after that because you need to put that in your your survival kit can I mean we can make putting on a condom a sexy thing it can be done with teething I gazes or really sencha Longs Drugs or it can be like that’s hard and dirty however you want it however you and your partner working together and so that’s more commonly used form of oral barrier when you’re giving someone head but we also have oral barriers for a vagina or for the anus and it’s something that’s maybe not used as often but I can also be a sexy thing where we have ones that are flavored ones that don’t have the complete XC taste so so how do you bring up the conversation about STDs and STIs with someone that you’re thinking of having sex with actually I devised a little graphical illustration that called a spiral of intimacy and it has a spectrum from low to high risk and low to high risk responsibilities of risk and responsibilities so starting with being separated and say meditating together or coming closer and dancing together and then the the sort of familial kind of back massage and then I’m more of a sensual full-body massage then going to erotic massage and then the different degrees of being able to stimulate manually so there’s a whole appreciated area of getting to know someone sexually through masturbation and it’s like GSU would like to know what it’s like to have sex with you but I’d rather watch you have sex with yourself first so that I can observe your orgasmic cycle and I can know when you’re faking it then you’re too nice if that ever happens I like to remove the incentive for that to have to ever happen because it’s like it doesn’t have to be a you know that’s not the main goal about it the more it happened so just don’t worry about it so have you know the fundamentals and play split so bring it up it’s kind of like I mean a lot of times for meat lot of times women have tried to mount me without a condom and I had to say excuse me if you’re getting something and I forgive them because I know that I do deeply know in my heart of hearts that their Primal body is like please impregnate me while I’m in my Prime and I will jump from do to do to do to get that need met as of wimpy know and I respect that is powerful and so I don’t I don’t shame that went when it happens but I do say you know what season you know this is a formality that we cannot Overlook here but I feel like once you once you get Beyond The Shame of talking about sex in general it’s in New York when it gets to a point where it’s appropriate like it’s not creepy or not out of context to just start talking about the stuff I feel like it’s really there’s been nobody in my life and in recent years you kind of vibrating attract people obviously have like Consciousness but also it’s like a are any day is a good day to have this conversation I guess like it’s it’s that it doesn’t doesn’t feel awkward to me because I have been at a point where I’ve discovered with a partner getting tested oh no I haven’t been tested her if she hadn’t been tested and then we discover the cheese you know she has a lifelong infection you know that that is as yet not curable and so are adapting to that and having to be a good lover through that that’s challenging you know and there may be a day where the tables turn on me and that happens and you know I have to do and work through that so it’s I think it’s always it’s always rewarding to it to do it in and do it right have the conversation and just set up the plan and the more confident you are and your knowledge of yourself and where you’re coming from and you know you’re selling practices like if I was real shady about this stuff and I didn’t know and I was like doing a bunch of shady things and lying to people then I probably would never want to have a conversation so I think that’s a really that’s that’s something that I appreciate and I like and it would be great if that type of Mines that could be adopted by more people in that there are varying levels of intimacy and places that you know you’re going to get with someone puts that you wish you could get with someone please set you know you’re not going to be with someone and based on that you can have that conversation when you find it appropriate FaceTime like where you are End Zone here like a friends with benefits on this level of the pyramid you take a step up here and you’re kind of like maybe you’re given doing a little bit of mutual masturbation and then you go here and it’s kind of like okay barrier love making Anna. Sir to take the barriers off and now you’re doing sex magick and now you become God got us and you left off into the infinite eternity of the whole because whether you have all these different people you know who you shook hands when they didn’t want to go to the next level or you asked him to go to next time when I said I you know what I’m going to that level of somebody else and you still have people all of these different levels and then you have all these people still potentially coming in for the friendzone infinite infinite opportunities for education and the and I appreciate that you bring up fee the practice of mutual masturbation or solo masturbation and observing someone doing so that if she divorced me I love it I love it and it’s a great way to if you don’t have a condom if you don’t have a dental dam if you are not sure that you want to touch them or be touched by then but you still feel the sexual spark so you’re curious watch each other masturbated so it’s a great way to see someone really enjoy themselves fully friends don’t let friends show me your style show me show me my show you the flea mind kind of thing but now I think people are we really got to get in that direction because that wouldn’t that would release a lot of energy and and be totally safe and and I’ve I’ve had that thought and I feel like it shouldn’t be too much to ask you know it’s like it’s a lot to ask for someone to have sexual intercourse of any kind that’s a big big ass and it should stay that way but a lot of those things below that it should be we should be really so much more open and then we can explore homosexuality lot easier that way to you now it’s like you don’t have to go to the freakiest the freaky places to to know you know what what you want whether you like to or not but to never have any exposure you know and getting to know other people that can be part of that beginning practice that instead we’ll get there at some point so any last thoughts at 4 now I think I would say that this is just a very rainstorm any kind of introduction to the report or the Namek that we’re creating which is the model and demonstrate healthy fun conscious you know out-of-the-box thinking about these these treacherous things that are really just tiny little pesky things that we can control a manager for smart so more and more to come and this is just the beginning and so too cuz this one out do you have any last words you want to share for $10 ideas here so okay okay good ESO one of the reasons why I was an eye roller about dental dams even though I knew better and I understood that reason for their existence was because the the price for each one made me think about like how much the fun I want to have an amount of money I could afford to have that fun and it’s just going to make sure I so but now as I evolve my thinking and it had just been I don’t know where I learned it from but but it’s been I think of sex geek hacker thing to use Saran Wrap because it’s dirt-cheap literally and it said very very effective for that you’re almost never going to pierce it even with your teeth you know you would have to really try hard to try to damage and break that and also because it’s so abundant in the size compared to a dental dam you can roll out plenty of extra so we can kind of like create really tuck it in the crevices between the thighs and really get it so cuz I want to make a mess on both sides and I want to have a broad canvas and I want to be all over the place and I don’t want to worry about it sliding off or if I’m cuz in you know you just get you know your mind gets in the way so so we’re looking for sponsorship you know in a research Grant hear the trip to create massive rolls like the size of the wear house and rolls that are flavored Saran wrap that can be package and ship you know that also buy degradable cuz we don’t want the fish in the ocean to end up choking on our comrades email come on so much fun for anyone involved now we got to clean up the oceans and figured ecosexuals and crepe more Earth friendly Solutions on going so yeah that’s a good a good prayer clothes I would country kiss that we just practice no barriers needed thank you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples up here by Tycho logical employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email fan at Township Park. Com Thomas gay

Independent Motherhood and Empowered Birth Work TPP179

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Laura Sermeno Pic

In this episode I’m humbled and blessed to be able to explore the raw realness of a wombyn of color struggling to navigate and resist patriarchy, white male privilege, and mono-normative love and relationship styles. My new heroine  sheds light on many of the shadows of injustice that she has faced and fought throughout her life and her journey as an independent mother.

She shares about the beauty and magnificence of her natural home birth and the incredible role her doula played in the process. She makes a call out for support of her efforts to study the birth working arts so that she can be of service and give back to the community.

She holds sacred space for me to open up about my ethnic impoverishment and we celebrate the enriched experience of culture that she has as a Mexican-American East Los Angelino.

Please support her Go Fund Me campaign here:
https://www.gofundme.com/mother039s-transition-career-to-community-birthwork

And check out these links:
http://www.madreluzla.com/
http://supermamas.com/
https://www.llli.org/

About Laura:
Laura was born in East LA, raised in Sur El Monte –UCLA matriculated, educated by her people only, from the classrooms to the streets. She studied Xicanx Studies and Spanish at UCLA, and within undergraduate studies she began to unfold her art of poetry and went on to perform original pieces.

Professionally trained as a legal assistant, Laura took a break from capitalism beginning of 2017 to both create and nurture a newborn, born July of 2017, and felt completely underwhelmed with returning to life in an office. Having had a beautiful, calm and empowering home birth, she is now on the path to joining other mamas on the journey and educating them as a friend and a doula.

AI Generated Transcription:
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast episode number 179 I am being joined by at Laura cermeno and she is a sovereign independent mother who I recently have kind of bumps elbows with on social media and she like the kind of stuff I’m doing I like the kind of stuff she’s doing and just synchronistically around her run over recent posts you know I I got a sense of the purposeful mission of being an independent and Sovereign mother that she’s working on also to be a birth worker in to get sort of a community supported or our crowd Source funding of contributions so that she can step up in that role and being serviced in a good way and that is really impressive to me that’s those these are the kind of empowered women that I’m working to build the technical infrastructure in the financial infrastructure to support in in ways that allow for more freedom and and indignity really so that there’s just not this constant compromise and sort of pressure to find a man or a v hitch to a man or the family pressure of where is the this all the psychic external Authority from the toxic masculinity that that is just an economic privilege that shouldn’t really exist so I had them or the community comes in to support women you are doing this kind of work in my opinion the better the world is going to be the better it will be making the world a better place so I’m I’m putting my money where my mouth is I don’t know about anybody else but with that said that’s my soapbox speech for the moment and I will say Lord thank you so much for your kind of being a stranger to me but but being willing to come in until your story and share and hopefully we can get some some good promotion for you as well so please go ahead and tell us about how you’ve evolved awesome I just turned 26 my little Hometown is kind of bug predominantly Mexican neighborhood I grew up I am also from independent mom most of my memories of my childhood was just being with her though we know a stepfather just coming to play when I was about eight years old and still currently still in our lives but for the most part I did see myself as a child of a single mom or independent mom who is very strong and I’m really a lot different from her own background from basically a traditional Mexican home from from a Pueblo from a really small area and you still can’t just a carry on these very men Center traditions and some typical gender roles and very kind of backwards Catholic beliefs so I did grow up with with those beliefs and them at least it’s a tempting of Swing. Urinating me with those beliefs although I do consider myself is to be honest, I didn’t know what the word was but I did know that if things are unfair I wasn’t very interested in heaven as much as my family tried to teach me to cook and clean for Imaginary future partner that would have a pretty much rejected those things when I was around my extended family so my mom never protected those things onto me so I think that kind of help bringing sing both sides really I love you supposedly was your car is no my mom was a struggling mom she had wanted to drop most of the time and despite all those things I did Destiny have a harsh of bringing my mom was also flawed herself but I made it to UCLA wanted to study to become an environmental lawyer didn’t really know how to get around to that but ended up sending check on the city so you feel like although I did still have the tendency to want to go into the legal field which actually did end up going into and despite all that I’m an artist and a poet and a creative at that point in my life who did my baby’s father for years out of college be going out like I spent the day blush and all those things and I very much as interested in kind of The Next Step specialist inside after someone like me to kind of accomplish something like a dream from school like that I thought was pretty much bet I could you know do other things I guess and one of them was very much you know starting family so I’ll save you a lot of activism work at UCLA with an organization called occupy UCLA I was also part of the Bruins I’m going to spray quality there so when I was kind of a practicing their two sisters are there Mexican Oaxaca and they just talked about big mothers and so on one episode that they did speak about home birth and I want to listen in on that and they say they spoke to her mother her name is Lauren boy she still practices as a midwife in Los Angeles Pacific Lane Redondo Beach and she’s recently had moved back to Los Angeles from maybe around ten years of experience and work with communities in Oaxaca although she’s American she has good credentials to me because she was taught by my people if that makes sense so that made me feel like Asian is a language patient was a culture might be more than a lot of others who have just lost touch with their culture and so that definitely empowered me to continue on and I believe I did reach out to her before I even was pregnant so that I can make sure that you know I was able to lock her down because I figured you’d be pretty popular after that podcast so that’s why I landed speaking with her and she ended up being my Midwife who delivered my son I’m so mean I don’t know how to fast forward to now but the home birth was spectacular there was a point where I thought I’m not going to make it in the sense that I’m ready to go to the hospital maybe to make things easier but once my dual arrived I would say she was the most instrumental in getting me to finish with my goal of having a natural number is amazing so her name is Jenny solo it’s been a year and 4 months since my son was born for the first year I was full-time being a mom stay-at-home parent and the past 4 months have been attempting to become more independent been 4 months since I left my partner and I just had to revert back to the LegalShield because that’s what I had experienced in so I did not enjoy it anymore so that’s where we are today I’m just floored and humbled and I’m kind of in shock that I’m that I’m witnessing in myself hearing all of this in feeling like Sperry I’m just Gathering my thoughts right now because so much of what you said or are considerations and concerns that a lot of a lot of men don’t turn into when they’re just doing ball games and barbecues and video games and when I dropped out of that world a stint was very in my formative years in college was very much transform bye-bye feminist lovers who really put me in check and it made me think about and try to grow sensitivity to a lot of these issues till is it just a little bit just to kind of help if you will accompany you to kind of put my contacts in in this mix cuz it’s it feels like from from from one perspective this is really awkward because what is a what is a white dude know about any of this stuff unless unless you really cared and why would he even care and I do care because you know my I have you know since I’ve had I’ve been a victim of patriarchy and various ways that makes me very sensitive to other victims of patriarchy and the the healing the thesaurus cultural healing the the gender ceiling that needs to happen it’s is very near and dear to my heart is so it’s it’s kind of made me care and be concerned and actually want to I mean of all the superhero archetypes and all the vet like violet masculine heroic bulshit if there’s a way to be a hero that is not always sexy and not always is glamorous and not always has violin it’s really like how do you how do you get humbled by the stories and understand the need to flip the script and really start to take whatever privilege you have and put it where it’s needed the most and that’s kind of what you’re talking about that’s what I hear you know this is trying to to make it against so if you don’t mind Alaska this journey that you have taken I don’t want to I don’t want it to be gossipy or dramatic or anything or but feel free to go off if you want to but I am I am curious what and whatever way you want to express it that the breaking apart breaking up Breaking Free however you want to describe it what is that look like for you having can you walk us through kind of your the psychology of the happy-ever-after kind of Disney thing was that going on or where you you know I just just whatever you could say about how you how you discovered you had to come part ways and there’s a fork in the road it with the relationship and now you have I don’t know if you have child support coming in I don’t know if you have like what level of estrangement or or or sort of like a financial duress you might be in so we can get a sense of how best to support your super heroic efforts if you if I dare say basically I don’t think that we ever really were in the happily-ever-after although we were super connected by the idea of really like my miss both of us really wanted to start a family and we met during active this time it was funny how you see yourself as Waco White Privilege Connections in certain like moral things and kind of political things but our communication never built back up our trust never built back up I guess I reach some normalcy but I think what really set me off towards the end all the way I believe we’ve been breaking up for like a long time probably even during the pregnancy there was still like some issues just basically getting along then maybe just things that weren’t fulfilling and if she know we were to be honest with one another it was it lasted even longer than it than it had to but towards the end actually on my son’s first birthday party when are joined together mind being the bigger 35 + people his relatives came by we had just gotten the house you know he actually is a lawyer law field and so I was a stay-at-home mom at the point at that point trying to break free also it was like a great especially our son but things kind of devolved I can’t believe it really was his mom trying to start shit and you know wondering asking one of these people leaving you know in my home and instead of Nino I don’t know that being squash for like maybe my partner kind of getting a little bit better he felt like you know he needed to give his response or whatever because we’ve been celebrating him drinking for a while and you don’t even smoke was being funny and I believe literally every person was enjoying themselves operate on her problem not a problem that’s why I like sarcasm but you know my partner’s response was after I was nothing helpful I wouldn’t say I was being helpful but that’s right my response he decided to kick out my family and that was a breaking point for sure I believe I talked about breaking up that night will you continue to go to couples counseling which was something that we’ve already started alright believe he started much too late couple weeks past actually I will not go back the very next day my grandmother from my grandmother who wasn’t present at the party from My Father’s Side passed away from cirrhosis and you know I dealt with being embarrassed by my partner in front of my family and then you know another relative dying you know still trying to go to couples counseling and all that and really getting no type of support One account for themselves my grandmother’s Memorial came and I wanted to celebrate go out you got a babysitter so we can go baby dancing and relieve some stress my partner were not by being we’re not getting along with and despite you know me really being in need we did not seem to go on that Alsace you know decided to go for a drive alone and got donuts with a friend and came back or came back going towards my house now calling my partner again and ask them what his plans were and he said that he was going to go to a strip club instead of either spend time with me or do nothing really but he really needed to make a statement about you know me leaving him and saying that he wasn’t a pleasant person or support that that night so you know me leaving and be independent memes like I a deserved I guess for him to go ahead and go and do something as disrespectful as it was possible for him to do something like that and he did it so because I asked me and I also think this is going to be good for a relationship to it she responded what relationship and so I kind of like where’s my hand I would say there was definite self-sabotage there and it was all so liberating you know maybe in a way he know scapegoating him for his actions and me for you needing to leave but yeah that was a definite and it was just like indicative of like a huge problem that we already had had him something that I wanted to get away from him not showed it to normalize. To my son I mean I just yep that’s how that ended thank you so much for sharing that and there’s so much going on there and it’s honestly there’s a bear up there are a number of parallel situations that I’m somehow in the crossfire or in the middle Evan in some way or another where I get it and I will I’m starting to starting to get it starting to understand that that these fractures that happen in just the whole notion that we have of the nuclear family and that whole white American picket fence line two and a half kids and dog and a cat and two cars in the garage and in that hole Mystique it time it’s problematic for a lot of reasons and what you just feel like I don’t feel like I’m doing anything wrong right now by opening in holding the space for you to share this story in a way that will reach people all over the world who are going to have a vibratory emotional resonance with just the crisis here in because you you I’m sure you will write a book you will have your Memoirs whether you whether we’re kind of taking notes now and putting out a little bit of it now or if it comes out all later but this is some it’s it’s it’s a sadly tragic typical pattern and I feel like the the word that and I have this this it is I have this fantasy this utopian fantasy that we can somehow as an entire species returned to a dynamic where women are really super into into each other’s emotional needs and it in each other’s physical needs and in and even a Time sexual needs I’m not afraid to say it I will say that it’s not it’s not it’s not a big secret that lesbian lovers take care of each other longer and better than most straight male lovers and it’s just one one dimension here but but overall I’m just seeing that the the vulnerability and the susceptibility to these douchey patterns that can just be catastrophic if it’s just that I have been trained by my feminist friends and lovers who are female body and in that they’ve been taught me that it’s like so many women are trapped in in these fucked-up Dynamics with men because they don’t have solidarity and Sisterhood amongst each other to the point where where men are just think if they come and go it doesn’t even fucking matter because they don’t have any property rights they don’t have you know your bank account password they don’t have there’s not at this whole mythology around you know my you need to view need to impress my family and my family needs to get babies from you to put their name on so that we can give her so I mean whatever the race I mean dinosaurs say whatever but but that’s not even getting started with the racial politics of course just the patriarchal patrilineal you know we named We pre-stamped the mail the mail server name on the children and we we want to control the sexuality of all of all females because they’re either going to be cranking out babies that we don’t own or they’re going to be cheating on are you know prodigal son you know we don’t want the Princess Luna with a princess running off with the family jewels in shacking up and falling in love with some poor man if some other race or something and then there’s so many that are going on I don’t know if any I’m just kind of going off because these are the bigger patterns in a bigger size but like what you talk what you’re saying like this is very well I just want to say I guess in a in a supportive way as best I can that what you just described about your particular Journey with these macro Dynamics is I just want to applaud you for for you know stepping up and taking a stand and taking a risk in and going out on a limb for your own dignity and sovereignty and I hope that the dudes in the doghouse and he’s going to try to like not are you know I’m not going to be projecting my my couples counseling services on TV right now I don’t know what is the destiny is that I was supposed to have them but certainly some growth and learning on on his part and I hope that his heart is open to that and I will say you know if you ever hears this if you ever meet Smith at like you know he can spit in my face but I will still give him a hug because we can go and have her men’s group or whatever to bring it back to the world again just I applied you I’m I’m seeing a bestseller here already so take good notes and and when I will just put best best wishes after he comes you know falls into the 2 to the matriarchy and in whatever way you’ll make sense but from this point of what you shared now I’m wondering so the the leap of faith into Independence and being single and what is that look like for you financially and legally and an emotionally didn’t like what have you kind of designed for yourself is the strategy to move forward without move forward with a cup with a new paradigm for yourself of what community is going to be like and what a family is going to be like in maybe yeah I mean I can only imagine I have a few other folks I said who are in similar circumstances that that I hear from a lot but it sounds like you know you stepped up and said hey hook it up I’m doing something good I’m going to take care of everybody’s going to be cuz you remove by that so so definitely luckily for now I’m not going through any court system to try to get any reciprocation from baby’s father he’s pretty open pretty good he is providing child support although we have some reason talks about cutting back on that at my like probably most vulnerable time right now so when things aren’t perfect but I enjoy you know the 50/50 split that we do have I think that’s healthy for my son that’s healthy for me to have some much-needed time to recoup and kind of like clean up my space and have me time luckily I found a place leasing out of 4 bedroom house with some friends some really good like-minded friends that I am having you know that Community with and that’s 5 minutes from the daycare by mention the baby father not my favorite place but you know I’m glad that it’s going to work out that way I’ll east of the Prime Meridian Community me and my partner are going to have to be in a family no matter what here and physical demands are so far not really though you know I would definitely recommend for those who do have those issues like you need to go to court my cell phone for that system but particularly what’s going on meeting child support is crucial to start as soon as you can. I’m I’m kind of make sure that things are fair you know things can be fingernail that clear you don’t know people’s Financial anything until you really get them down in a way not the same situation for everyone but luckily I’m having luck with that I never had my own place you don’t like my own place but you know I’m on the lease or where me and responsibility is a double edged sword but being cool with that and being able to do it even just excited about that I definitely am now the opinion that monogamy doesn’t work I’m opening you know myself up and I’m starting to date a little bit but for the most part I want to maintain like not a typical kind of unhealthy ways where you know because you decided to like someone now they have a say in your top of me and things like that I don’t I don’t Vibe with that and I’m just trying to meet people were kind of the same way as far as Community I mean like food sharing meeting other mothers connecting online especially now since I’m one reason Kratom has probably for myself and I do see myself hanging out with my friends and kind of wanting that energy around my son as well so for now it’s it’s that way I don’t I don’t I don’t leave men out are you not going to go the same type of again yeah that’s what I am well I’m glad to hear it pretty much all of that that’s it could be so much worse and probably not that that much better and some of the stuff I’m actually hearing it’s it’s there is it’s it’s funny because or I should say it’s funny but I’ll say that the tragic comedy is that a lot of what what a conventional or conservative certainly white bread kind of patriarchal mortified to hear most of what you’re saying cuz it would just be the end of the American dream and to me it’s like the end of the American Nightmare so I’m actually happy to hear that I honestly believe everyone can find most likely find a little something a little bit better for them scary part is leaving I guess well that’s a deep study and and I think about that Austin and I I’m just trying to build up the most elegant toolkit of intellectual and emotional resources to help people kind of feel supported in these kind of decisions one of the things that I found was a great resources there’s a polyamory weekly podcast and I don’t know it’s been awhile since I’ve been away from them but they were gone for quite a while and they interview the woman who called herself a relationship Anarchy and non-hierarchical relationship Anarchist which was and she just broke it down so hard core in and that cuz you could be relationship anarchists and be rebelling against a store Terry and lovers of course but but she was even taking it to a level of like I’m not going to have a primary partner does not going to be a sort of you know a favoritism kind of dimension of a hierarchy at the way that you get with people who do the primary partner thing which I’m not saying it’s good or bad but I’m just saying wow this is the potential is Limitless for how free you can actually be used at the Quizlet see citizen in that system essential and and so so yeah I feel like a lot of the toxic Behavior happens in this sort of void or vacuum where couples are in this secret hell realm called privacy where people shut their doors and close your blinds and they don’t want they feel like it’s inappropriate for them to to kind of do like a sit-in strike and say no until you all resolve this issue I’m not going to go to work I’m not going to leave the room I’m not going to give you your privacy to tear each other apart I’m going to ask you present and and so call me utopian call me an idealist but I feel like that Sisterhood and Brotherhood and everything in between hood is all good in the more the merrier to have people holding each other socially accountable for for misconduct and for just micro micro oppression and abuse and everything so yeah glad to hear that you’re are more Collective household and I certainly can commiserate with the that next leveling of responsibility to be to be on the lease because then you actually have to be kind of like a a job site manager 2 or something you have to take on these others wish that we would just like it was just the land and the people that children got my anything–but so so yeah now that we didn’t answer we’ve kind of mentioned a couple times the campaign that you’re doing so now will probably be a great time to give you full space to just talk about what you’re hoping to get from what the support you’re looking to to access from from those who can shave off a bit of their of their means to help you get something blue strapless with your all about it jobs Aliso maybe a little bit over a week now I was terminated from pretty terrible workplace I’m I’m pretty blessed I’m leaving and you know now just thinking about the perfect opportunity to try to switch to something more meaningful more creative less to do with the government and substantiating pretty must have systems I don’t actually mamaw really believe in so and I did I I mean I’ve been kind of thinking about some sort of spiritual work with other spiritual guides in other folks and they’ve always going to tell me you know you have this play healing thing like soda spiritual work and what they were doing I mean psychic reading room but then I was like I don’t think so you know so yeah for the most part and I’ve always been a writer. I also staying so try to do those things you know somebody is coming not much but and then just speaking to my Doula I also met with her and she kind of walk me through the process and I looked up some specific trainings that I really thought would really help some of them are for certification someone is not although certification I hear this not also not required I feel like you know parents definitely wanted to have some sort of certification so why not I’m so yeah for now I mean the main when I like the workshop that I like is not a certification one but it has so much it’s called sumi’s touch it’s a workshop at his family’s touch it still see only do it raining Crown cost $750 and all of the resources are online so I mean you study but he get the resources online so I should be able to you know keypad and potential clients another big part of the training is actually going in on where it’s which you know middle Midwest most likely kind of mitigate that you know there can’t be like 10 people on the room besides you know family members or whatever so you know it has to be kind of specific and you know birth work to do with all of this and so I shared that those costs for apprenticeships just for one birth of roughly 500 each so you know that they’ll send me back a little right now so she right now because if not I’m still trying to get email part-time job to maintain education and kind of community work that’s what that’s why I have approximate around $6,000 like kind of a beginning him out but I think you know once I get into it’ll be a lot more feasible you know no longer asking the community but if not you know give I want to give give my work to two families I would completely need to know a free Doula like that’s my gift back after I completed some training and yeah I do want both birth Doula and postpartum doula certification so that I could help free during birth and then postpartum healing looks pretty much my spiel about the GoFundMe I pray that you get all of the abundance that is coming to you and I really appreciate the way your structuring the the perks you know to be able to be in service in and it’s really like a Pay It Forward kind of thing of people can help you out they will know that they have you to have their backs and I’ve known a couple of doulas in my life and certainly known women who have worked in the women’s sexual health field in the reproductive Health shield and pardon my French but a lot of what what they’ve been up against is a real shitshow and I just watch and watch the the mainstream institutions just chew them up and spit them out in the pharmaceutical corruption and just there’s so much real evil going on once you get into that medicalized anything. I am so we don’t know most of us what we don’t know about what we’re missing out on about home birth and having really wise which is an herbalist and and Medicine women who have dedicated themselves to these pads and if you want to talk about taking a power back from patriarchy this is such a one of the deepest wounds are one of the most I guess I would say for my perspective which is a really I really twisted for most of intervention from the the way that they put you in the stirrups to the others are so many things that I think it was just a total medieval torture horse or something else so can you teach for the people listening and I don’t know if you will get you know a ton of support just you know from from the audience I’ll try to get this out as soon as possible but I’m certainly going to put in what I can to help you move forward with your goals but I would like to just have you just kind of share with us for the record kind of what what is the what Define a doula and independent provide more of a definition and and talk about really how how relevant is that we have a doula on every block or whatever is the goal you know what I mean I really like its etymology like it means a woman of service or something like that would she really really wrong with that but you know obviously in the picture I get at 11 and someone wants to be there for you and not not just a service but more like emotional like support I believe that’s one of the most beautiful things, I didn’t think about needing a doula until it was probably 6 months into my pregnancy and you know what the things are and who could help me in the prices in time became very anxious do you know why but I just realized maybe because of my issues with my ex and I needed a more emotionally attentive person that just knew it wasn’t was going on and I will you not shave my ex still he was very much present and helpful I’m I did too heavily rely on just my Doula process so because she is entrenched in me a Mexican traditional practices of Reno labor and then she’ll sit does placenta encapsulation and she does feeling ceremonies at the end which are traditional Tim and Janice Mexican communities because they’re in the traditional to some indigenous communities definitely she’s very in touch with those types of things and for the most part I believe it was mainly her touch some of her words that are touched during spring surgeons contractions that kind of made them my mind go away station was about like 50% reduced and just having that constantly every now every 5 3 2 5 minutes like that touch that reassurance it was brief but it was powerful and I wasn’t seeking anyone else out other than her and I don’t think that if she was not present but I would have done you know the full natural hunger I don’t know if the goal is to have one on every block but at least four people to know what I do want is what to do what does do those are not the ones license to help bring out the baby anything medical although they do Monitor 40 days postpartum ceremony maybe their knowledge is that are carried out through very many generations through a special spiritual people spiritual healers family-to-family it’s not about a social-media thing although it is becoming one I am particularly wanted that because I don’t believe in science is not created by women about women I don’t think more people can know about our bodies than ourselves and our intuition far beyond what the cerebal can tell us far beyond what we can read about in nail science textbooks or something like that especially her mother is healthy with no complications. Things will be fine you know that science of fear is stronger than the actual evidence based science dualism cells can produce for you regarding you know labor and delivery just in the home so that’s why I want to do what I want to do awesome I feel the warmth in my heart. Nice and kind of my mind playing out to the cinematography of of what you’re talking about and if you are you good to go at 5. This is been a fast almost hours are you good to go a little further or something that is because you mentioned social media it’s it’s kind of I guess ties in with this kind of fun well I will see the you’re also talking about science and technology and and how might how feminism has inform my attitudes towards technology and whatnot so just kind of say briefly that I I think there’s a lot of Now new space for ethical hackers of all colored hats to look at the the big data conglomerates and monopolies that are sucking our private information out into the corrupt backdoor deals and just makes Orwell look like Bambi or something you know it’s like it’s worse it’s worse than I ever imagined it’s more Insidious and more Twisted in in sadistic never imagining and yet it also this whole moment we’re in with with some the internet with social media I’m I’m old enough to know what it was like to have to read a book or go out and socialize to not be bored a lot has changed I see this blessing and a curse and then obviously the curse of aspects are pretty obvious certainly anybody listen to this anybody is addicted to refreshing a need an app for anyting guilty of certain degrees of that we can if we have a hack your mindset to this situation than we can we can use a little bit of digital Alchemy in in in figure out how to make these systems work in in the benefit of the people in the benefit of people of color in the benefit of the oppressed of all varieties in and really it’s it’s the potential I think to reclaim and redefine Beauty on a lot of levels so something that you were very I would say there is a bold and beautiful about is the you or I seen your Instagram and you’re doing herbal baths with your child you know you’ve you’re doing breastfeeding you were flying your stretch marks and I believe there is a lot of room and a lot of potential to reclaim the the beauty of mothers and Andrea Lee break the beauty myth molding and smash the patriarchy in that sense so I’m just curious if it’s not out of my you know appropriate balance to to open these topics if you want to talk about how you how you want to or how you were thinking about and strategizing about kind of re beautifying motherhood in in the whole kind of plastic Barbie Perfection kind of thing I feel like my probably never fit the mold and you know what Barbie stuff that’s hot issues with my image and and what I want to see I guess then in a pregnancy in a major key for while I from Los Angeles I feel like I was especially at that point because I had been breastfeeding and things have been going so well and I was producing a lot of milk is losing a lot of calories I feel like I was like my body what did have a hard time with it actually was a stretch marks because they’re so dark for so long and maybe they’ve been fighting this year but at the end of the day because I’ve been mice like who I am who I hopefully have portrayed myself to be it myself you know throughout this talk I like what’s in the mirror like I can’t deny a picture for the most part those images they came about kind of want to win all those thousands upon thousands of pictures of other pictures are affected my culture I’m not just my culture it was actually an article about Latinos and changing the United States predominately do think Mexican and not the problem itself my Mexican culture I mean how could I let you know how can I kind of like I wasn’t cheerleading I wasn’t picky I was just listening to kind of like creative directors and and also one of them being my Village any Silva. Imo’s pictures I couldn’t deny that for myself a friend of mine. For my son and you know it at the time I’m pretty sure I was very self-conscious but I’ve ever gotten of me and my son and regardless I don’t think that you can even think about Barbie that have skated my son and there’s no way that you can deny that kind of love what I write in my diary and actually feel about myself sometimes I mean everyone has those monsters and it’s not it’s settled in the other thing is like I’m making him a photo with my son and it’s not sexual at all and so those types of conversations we were blessed and that my picture came to fruition through National Geographic so they actually were able to okay that photo and have it in place of the name of an article which I particularly make sense with the rest of the words in the article so captivating in a way it captures kind of like innocence in like kind of like giving like specially because yeah that’s what it that’s what the whole process is giving your body an alarm for a time and then all the time after that where you’re breastfeeding you’re also very much giving your body and your energy but yeah I’m super lucky that my Doula Jenny silver had previously worked with a National Geographic photographer and they were interested in cultivating raised images for a specific article about kind of power which was reshaped to talk about Trump’s America basically I’m so yeah I mean it away my photo resurface there and it is in the magazine July 2017 you’re after my son was born so that was pretty powerful yeah that’s pretty much a part of me wishes that you would just keep talking forever so I don’t have to help myself for like being choked up with tears right now and we like that yeah this is this is really powerful and I said I want to be too Starstruck that that you’re a Nat Geo and Neji was so near and dear to my heart I feel like doing the Wayne’s World I’m not worthy thing is that just a little bit more about my do love if you know like something with her in there because Stephanie like know that power and you know all that staging and ran to actual herbal bath like those images and like that sacredness of hours but you know that’s something from her and I think that comes out of the picture yeah I like I always the picture like National Geographic a lot of like animals but just being in touch with all types of Nature and like you know that type of stuff like being in arima super powerful and I think that again it’s like a lost tradition in my car trying to reclaim that now. It’s been around you know these things are not scary but just letting you know we have more power right on well I will say I have it is not been challenging for me to be. Don’t take this the wrong way or anything but I would say there is a man in this world I’ve always felt like it was not a chore but else but a privilege to a good refers to be meditating on the the beauty of stretch marks and just feeling the texture and not is a sort of like oh oh pity party you know you don’t get to be in Miss Universe it now or whatever it’s like such a bullshit but it’s a Well there should be a Miss Universe for for that and if you actually cared you know you would appreciate that so I feel like that if you haven’t anyone listening if you haven’t worshipped stretch mark belly before then you’re missing out the music sits it’s a mystery and something to to meditate on in into yeah it’s 11 so I appreciate that and I guess maybe your last sort of from save me hear them thinking of would just be 2 maybe I’m kind of a this is this is a big kind of klusterfuk of questions I guess you could say that I that I have I’m a white man to grow up in the Northwest and one of the whitest states in the union and I was always drawn to the Mystique of LA to all of the Hollywood movies that I watched his latchkey kid and all that stuff and now I’ve been down here for almost maybe more than 15 years trying to just connecting and you know you’re going to laugh but it’s like things like I really connected as a young child with movies like La Bamba and later got into Blood In Blood Out which is also made by the same the same dude who was who is his kind of enamored with being I don’t I wouldn’t forget to send him but I’d say certainly my case that has he said he grew up grew up around and experienced a lot of Latino culture for me there were bits and pieces growing up but but just being a fight dude totally disgusted with the emptiness of my own non-kosher at 8 just felt like I want to just be the ugly ducking duckling and check up to whatever other intact kind of familial or sort of tribal structure as I can find so I’m kind of like a Joy’s the the parties and I’ve always kind of like exactly I haven’t tried to Vienna. The Mexican because I’m in LA and I’ve Had My Moments in there to see if you would know that I just that there’s been some funny like West Side Story type moments and funny like that is pretty funny but it it it it does speak to this bigger kind of picture thing what I want to say about it being the klusterfuk of a question is like to bring it back for you is like you know I see indigeny small and sort of thumb Anarchy feminism in just at the tour to Mexico with punk bands and I’ve gotten to really for myself see the the this just the fact that 49 1492 is every day somewhere in the world and there’s places where that that that Battlefield this is like the battlefield of indigenous language is dying against Spanish to English in seeing punk bands play punk in steampunk in and totally indigenous tongue that may or may not be fully documented by anthropologists but it’s a the and also the fact that like a lot of the Latin American punk rock seems that I got to experience were not everybody was all pumped out a lot of people were just like regular working class citizens and they were all participating in that because it was like the a way to celebrate I got more of that more deeply connected fabric of culture and what not but I guess you know what I worried where this is going and I appreciate you being very with me versus myself I feel like I could ask you this question and I can’t I can’t always ask people this question cuz it’s too controversial into explosive you know but the question really is you know how do you in your you’ve broken free from a lot of the shackles of thinking that Catholicism in patriarchy and the state and and all these other institutions that that try to turn indigenous people against their own skin color against their own Traditions you know you were fighting that fight right now and I just I’m curious what you would say and what your thoughts are what you would share for the the occupied and the occupiers the colonized in the colonizers wherever you might be in the world like what what is what words would you have to say for to empower people to break free from these religious controls and spiritual and sexual all that stuff and so I don’t know you know what comes to mind but how can people be of service that are not you know my condition is some people who are indigenous how can they kind of stand up and break free and not sell out and whatever you know conform or whatever that is definitely a huge question I don’t consider myself like any kind of Representatives regardless of my identity. You know like like similar to you I think I don’t necessarily write people off because they’re white although have a lot of comrades and friends I do but I do think that there’s be home folks or not a business that you know there’s a void there’s there’s a feeling there’s a there’s a reason why we’re all kind of going through a shift and realizing like this is not a certain different types of things for ourselves and having kind of like technological kind of looks like talking but not enough kind of like doorways to like get through to like the type of world that we will be one of those kind of far out two different things I mean it sucks but now the main way you can contribute to the world you want to live in right now is funds his fundraising is bleeding charity work but more like you know who needs to be uplifted that’s maybe you know if you can think about it the current structure for the current capitalistic structure are not valued in the same monetary way but they’re doing more for the community and the types of work and the type of world that you want to live in in the future like that type of stuff right so like less kind of thing people eyes like a disadvantage or whatever it’s more like kind of like Goods what can you give when then what can you what can you go back to people who have donated to me just like that other people who again or more just that I want to see what’s up to so you know like you know anyone that’s looking for a doula you know how I am in that position where I think I do need to attend for free things like that so for people who are indigenous of course just again where the mouth speaking to people speaking to people about birth rethinking births or I’ll be home for a worm anything that deviant from you you know but not necessarily kind of like reinforcing those structures on each other that type of thing but that judgment what became an entrepreneur for yourself so you know it’s just being you not being imaginative enough and you may be wanting that for yourself in your life right like that’s why people come out here with negativity or or should I just be mindful of your energy where you place it in and why you’re giving off something that’s not super ideal my world’s just blind optimism but you know I think we definitely need more optimism and I am definitely like a punk I really like happy Punk right now from a world where you know I’m from the same world as y’all but I definitely think for the revolution what I want to bring is this breath work and what I want to bring is more positivity and it has to be blind sometimes why not you know we just need that when you believe in God but definitely line ourselves up to receive those changes by way of saying all the the mess ups we have in our own brain like deconstructing kind of like the actually try to make a difference I think that’s pretty much it is to you for decolonizing your bedroom and decona is in your mind and decide to colonizing these dimensions of bed sometimes overlooked and I appreciate everything you have been saying in will be taking good notes in and I can also commiserate about punk rock and I’ll say that I like I said happy Punk I’ve actually kind of put the thought experiment out there what if what if in some bizarre sci-fi future the punk the punk rock an Arco Punk Revolution actually succeeds and we are living in tribal Neo tribal Utopia and there’s nothing to complain about what kind of music are we going to read me and are we going to be playing these like death metal Melodies about Doom and Gloom or we going to be free country weaving the musical fabric that used to be just ceremonial songs and and ways to get through seasons and get through life cycles and things so so I’m I’m there with you and I if I am looking forward to hearing the chi music that you hopefully will create an account of lyrics and poetry that you were right and hopefully that will be part of that transition towards post-apocalyptic Punk kind of phone oh yeah well. Cool will definitely have more time again I think will be great to have you back to even come in and talk about some of the as you do your trainings and as you have more experience has to come in and share and just get more people kind of Switched on and activated around in this and amazing well thank you so much for your platform I appreciate it so much more than you know but I definitely would love to come and reconnect it somewhere cool so I guess I would say that I just want to help put in my final words and then leave it open to you to say whatever you like to close out with and certainly will put a link to your campaign in the show notes and anything else you like to have shared their yeah and so I would say it’s interesting residents that I have with with your story and that I actually I went to the University of Oregon and that was where is it premieres environmental law conference happen every year and it was just an orgy of environmental lawyers and I got to expose to all of these campaigns in all of these struggles and all of this super high level but it was great cuz it was like you had all these super Elite privileged white intellectual academic Scholars and then they were using the budget of the university in this this this conference annual conference to to bring in indigenous environmental Warriors from all over the world to tell me the story so you know that was it a very beautiful thing and I feel like something that is the I want to see a buzzword but like a key term from from that world is well everything is is our environment and the environmental justice in this order from the cultural ecological issues that you’re talking about it’s like yeah you talking about the legality around the environment of the womb and how they how to clean clean that up so I feel like you were definitely I mean I can see the the parallels there and in whatever dimension environmental law Shield work you want to explore I’m sure that the the grant funding and the interns and that you no tapping into all of those those hungry Minds in the people that want to study things and you know you just have to spend it right and you can have a PhD thesis if I can see it so you review right yeah but now I I just actually study that I actually did research on mental racism in low-income communities I’m in certain communities but I think my closing thoughts for sure are just that Albert’s that’s the beginning of our culture and if we are experiencing experiencing or like that I meant to me if you know I’ve been through this process and make sense to me but if you think about it you know I think about it logically and all the beginning of society begins with Creative Kids of this cage think of work like this is like the first step for a new Society right like and even in your own interpersonal lives where can we drive power and how come we Empower women to have empowered birth and not just you know that one day but you know checking in having Community being accountable to them you know I’m kind of Usher as Elders that experience them but also have some advice for independent mother and said I would say and I’ll start with self-care is your number one goal that’s super difficult and over myself a camera that usually ask for my son because I know I could feel depleted if I wasn’t so caring I definitely was a different kind of mom and that’s something I didn’t want to pass on I would say start creating that works around you find other end of town mothers like you share resources like food would sharing and child caring if that’s feasible of my ruin us to Burnt out from work for when you need it I said I would say don’t have too much of a pride issue personally but when you ask for help then people will know that you need it and regardless of of that Party Factory think that because we have a little little people to attend to you know it doesn’t really have a place all the time when numbers are my final words alright well thank you so much I’m looking forward to next steps and we will talk more about the survival women project soon and and hopefully that can be another another connection point two more networking and more resources to help you move all this stuff for so thank you for being being willing to come on the show and hopefully a lot of people will get a lot from this and I really do want to bring it all the way back down to the thirst with a lot of the stuff and I appreciate that so yeah I have a wonderful rest of your evening and we will be in touch very soon thank you for listening to the touch of Time Podcast please go to www.drudgereport.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and if you want a podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple that provides ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com Damas de

Sexual Sovereignty and Relationship Anarchism with Vin Armani TPP163

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In this episode I’m joined again by the illustrious Vin Armani for a discussion on sexual sovereignty and relationship anarchism. We start with an exploration of modern masculinity and our efforts to step into the archetypes of the role models we studied in heroic high-tech science fiction stories. We then explore a wide array of liberatory concepts, strategies, and configurations for ethical sexual freedom.

Vin shares a plethora of deep and profound personal insights from his experience as a white-hat panty-hacking pick-up artist, as a professional gigolo, as a psychedelic journeyer, as a software programmer, a spiritual seeker, and more. We mutually conclude that the intention to love abundantly can truly facilitate exquisitely pleasurable social harmony, though it requires a big and open heart and the skills and ethics of a shamanic healer.

Here is the spoken word psytrance track I produced to help transmit some of Vin’s core wisdom to the dance floor:
https://soundcloud.com/tantrapunk/cryptodelic-vindication

Please visit Vin’s website at http://vinarmani.com/

About Vin:
Vin Armani is a philosopher, serial tech entrepreneur, and CryptoSavage. He is the host of The Vin Armani Show on Activist Post. In addition to being an author and speaker, he has made his living as a television star, film producer, high-end male escort, software developer, art gallerist, pirate radio station operator, DJ, music producer, and motorcycle courier. He studied Philosophy at Howard University.

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast episode number 163 I’m being joined Again by the illustrious Vin Armani of the VIN Armani show and he’s been on this podcast a couple times before we talked about crypto we talked about Tantra and sex work and being a professional Gigolo on TV and all that amazing stuff so please go back in and catch up on those previous episodes to get more of a personal background this time we’re really going to jump into a topic that we kind of thumb began to explore on the last episode which is just shifting gender Dynamics and just really wet decentralisation means on a deeper archetypal and philosophical spiritual level for human consciousness Evolution and a piece of that which you might not care about on crypto Twitter is something that Ben and I have a background in that we share is being in different sectors kind of sexual Shaman professional sexual Shaman doing this deep work which involves things like panty hacking but also involves really highly developed deeply compassionate and conscious sort of spiritual surgery and karmic and charcoal energetic work and all the stuff so because we share that background because we both have sort of embarrassed different ways come to a point where we can engage with our love of the feminine in the embodied form of what I call lowercase G goddesses and we can serve them we can be served by then we can develop and design very harmonious beneficial symbiotic sexual emotional and even Financial Dynamics and that that is a level of graduation for the evolution of Mexico and Consciousness that doesn’t get shared a lot of places and they’re there for there’s a lot of people who are extremely sexually frustrated who are in relationships that are either dead ends or just have died sexually or energetically and so what what we’re trying to what we both represent and we’re not the only ones in the world but it’s just it’s a small percentage I think we’re actually really able to make a beautiful canvas out of their sexuality in the world and in really be hopefully ethical role models for ways to open up relationships and to decentralize what else I would I would like to say is this is were talking about we’re going to talk about sexual relationship anarchism sexual sovereignty and decolonizing and decentralized in your bedroom and that is that’s where I think you know what your book helps to understand so there’s a lot of stuff I want a I want a dress from Dallas a gigolo at your very important very seminal work on this stuff and yeah with that long and show out of the way then how are you doing man what’s been going on you’ve been doing a lot of amazing stuff and let’s get get caught up a great intro and what a great topic to delve into I’ve I’ve actually been if it’s funny because I’m still at in on in a couple of days I’m going to be giving a talk at porcfest that is about these topics of decentralization and really liked you know you and I have had conversations about this move from the the patriarchy but we’re talking about I mean we’re talking about this the masculine dominant energy of centralized hierarchical authority authority based structures that have sort of at least for the last five thousand years than the. means of human organization on a large scale in and we’re moving whether we like it or not into a decentralized model it’s one of the reasons why I why I am so heavily involved with with crypto and why it’s so attractive to me but a lot of people of course I am a Tech head but it really is because I do see this decentralisation as a move toward if it’s the shift right into them it’s the it’s the emergent mother it’s the emergent matriarchy that always comes just as the patriarchy emerge from out of but when we were in a in a much different situation and you know you had the mother goddess cold since there was the positive and the negative and I think starting to talk about this starting to go back in and to try to embrace those Traditions that have lasted for that long is really really important it’s I think people not understanding that we’re in the middle of it gift is really creating a lot of angst it’s it’s creating a lot of fear in people and that fear is turning very very toxic as we’re seeing especially around sexuality and so it’s I’m trying to introduce these concept but I have to tell you that our culture is so not ready to have like to sit down and have a mature discussion about sexuality and about relationships that when it comes to sexuality I’m glad that you’re presenting this for him because I almost feel like that’s got to be the starting point in some ways because that’s the place that we can actually as you say that we can actually Manifest this shift in our own lives and to sort of a tune ourselves to that shift and in that way it’s going to make it much easier as this shift happens on a on a grand scale so those people were ready to evolve in that way that it’s really going to be much easier for them so I don’t you know I’m putting together these talks and I’m trying to present these things but I’m really grateful to to be here because it helps me ever so much it’s there’s not a lot of people that are able to to have this conversation that we’re about to have so I’m I’m really honored thank you for having me absolutely man it is a total Mutual honor and pleasure and yeah we got it we’re going to have a lot of fun this is going to be we’re going to break some taboos and gets into some really fun and really deep material and I just can’t wait I’ve been I’ve been looking forward to this for so long in the synchronicities have been piling up and just sort of yeah little little hints and little arrows and little insights coming through to try to join this conversation and to get a little bit of mimetic juice if you will too kind of gets you know it’s the hatchlings if some some the medical material that’s got Wings you know and some some it’s got some teeth and got some talents to know so yeah so this is where I want to get a little bit with you on the the science that philosophy to sort of taxes of medic engineering and applying this term to rather than being sort of a keyboard Warrior or engaging in memetic Warfare on the front lines of really well now the internet but just the head unit used to be and I know you’ve sure this about your past is it a peace rally participant if not priests protester but before the internet gave us the power to to actually in a much more rapid in and free an almost infinite Manor give us the ability to express ourselves and to cultivate and share and propagate memes through that Vector of changing culture which is the internet and all of its rapidly evolving forms before that you know you would be shouting and mega phones at cars that were fucking like trying to run you over absolutely so we have so much at her fingertips literally and so the mature sort of Jedi Ninja mimetic Warrior I think what you’re doing is moving into more of a higher leverage position and being an engineer from a laboratory as opposed to a street protesting occupying just right in the meat grinder within Arm’s Reach of the law at all times just ready to be thrown into by the indirect cups of whatever it’s like no we can have a little bit more leverage and mature nuanced approach to the memetic Warfare from a higher point of Leverage and so yeah do you want you definitely are hacking the attic space in really really amazing ways and I like to give some some time for you to just to bring us up to speed with coin text and the coingeek conference and so people can understand the level that you’re operating on because it is a rarefied and in very in a good way I think Elite highly earn Elite Serta position to be talking the fighting the good fight so much of the gigolo is the about the concept of value you know the metaphysics of value and that was something that working as an escort but myself but also being around that community of people especially at the high-end you you are playing with the Notions of value constantly and they are at the most bass and raw levels there’s not a lot of games on top of of anything right everything strip the way clearly at literally and figuratively right it’s a very intimate scenario and so you see what it is that people Truly find valuable and you know in that exchanges of course you have the financial exchange there and having having the state as an intermediary always for me there if there was an energetic drain in that way that this is something this exchange of value on on that intimate level is something that the state should not be involved in and how do we grow and how did things change if the state is not involved in that and every other voluntary interaction and so you know Bitcoin from the beginning has been important to me it was it was as an escort and being in an all-cash business that that became that Bitcoin you know came onto my radar and then became something that I was fascinated by it first and then absolutely obsessed with as the years went on and so you know now we are actually just this week finishing up a the adventure Capital seed round of funding for coin tax which we had only launched our public beta in March and you know we’ve at while it has caught on and while we’ve been approached by a lot of people in the crypto space we we really you know we are entrepreneurs ourselves and we’re certainly Anarchist the three founders and so you know we were we had been approached by a lot of people and it was a very interesting process to go through of navigating the people who wanted to be involved and navigating that sort of capitalist Maze and really going into it with Open Hearts we ended up being able to find actually a group of individuals who were totally ideologically aligned with us and who also happen to have the capital but who’s who their truest desire was to see the vision that we have moving forward and that is to be able to affect the most amount of people to remove State violence from people’s lives to empower people with the people’s money and to allow value all kinds of value to travel all over the world because you know I do believe that there is so much value locked within certain populations that you know of it maybe if you’re an anthropologist you can go out and and you know find these individuals but I mean my experiences with Ayahuasca told me that and you know that even asking her asking Ayahuasca like what is it that you want and she zoomed me into the Amazon and was like I’m here and and I want out like this is I’m the reason why these people stop here in this dangerous place in like I’m the reason why they stayed in and I nurtured them and and now I want out to the world and it’s the same with iboga and it’s like I was like I know that there is so much more of that but until we’re able to move value until I’m able to move the value that I have to you know a shipibo Indian without without the imposition of the state which is so far behind then we’re not truly going to be able to unlock everything so so this is what we’re trying to to Move Along on this is what I’m dedicated toward but it’s so much more than just like you know being a techie for me this is really all about that question of value and it’s a very you know this this whole thing is it’s a trip for me as a very spiritual experience for me and it’s very you know cryptocurrency when he really sit down and start to understand it is incredibly psychedelic it’s super psychedelic like it’s it’s definitely coming from out of another dimension and so I’m I’m trying to bring these things these things that I’ve learned in the past decade I’m trying to bring them into this this entire experience in this entire Adventure but yeah that’s so so that’s what it is for me it’s about trying to find a way that we can exchange value much much more easily and that we can go get off this planet hopefully as a as a peaceful and Cooperative at least a more peaceful and more Cooperative species rather than having to make a mad dash off because we messed things up well I get I have had to take some chilling deep breaths and almost tear-jerking response to the beauty of the way you just described the will of the essence of Gaia Gaia mama I all these beautiful ways of attributing person head to the to the mystery of the goddess and creation and all this wonderful energy and n and really think of it is that this is exactly what turns McKenna said is that the internet the internet is the guy mine is very stubborn and it’s it’s the guys who were programming stuff have hair down to their ass and they’re all acids and this it’s no it’s really it’s an immune response these things epigenetic immune response to it to an alien invasion of the soul of human beings on Earth because we’ve been locked in their egos and patriarchy is sort of locked out that that energy and so she is back and she’s mad and she’s coming back with a vengeance but it’s like so I’d like you said in a recent episode this is a peaceful this is a bloodless coup of patriarchy and it is really a chopping the head off of the patriarchy with graceful tools that that really are going to I mean I didn’t believe it would be possible to have this this peaceful of a shift of power and a redistribution of wealth that wasn’t through it a sort of what you call crypto crypto fascist Communist dictatorship like this is happening with just the just the right it’s the light side of the force man absolutely 100% And I love it I love the way you express that and I love that this is that it’s the Practical applications that are going to enable people to express their value and began Cinepolis says you know the everyone can use cryptocurrency is it like basically a form of expression a form of of language oh yes so everybody said this is it just so great so please everybody listen to this check out Queen text. Io if that’s correct right now and start using SMS based cryptocurrency Bitcoin cash in probably others to be added is that part of your world map to or you disclose that or do you have five minutes? Or yeah it’s it’s it’s an interesting space to navigate and I’m it’s it’s so close to religion this space and I myself found myself even and you know the queen key conference in Hong Kong it’s it’s very alluring it’s a very alluring 2 to to start circling around to Totem if you will as and we can get into that place you know we can get into that place but I’m I’m esoteric by nature and I’m self-conscious by nature and I don’t want to be limited in what I can explore and so you know working with these tools and working with really each one of these blockchains as their own as their own entity almost like a god that rhyme with the godhead for sure and so I don’t this isn’t what an opportunity to explore and for me I just don’t think that I’m let’s just say I’ve already written some stuff and it’s an experiment it and there are some prototypes out there that are not just on bitcoin cash I do believe that a variant of Bitcoin is is how this is going to happen just because Bitcoin the soul of Satoshi Nakamoto and that’s a very very important it’s regardless of who it is the fact that this individual I mean this individual is going to be remembered in of a mark my words in very much of vein of a Jesus in very much of vein of a Muhammad or a Buddha this is somebody who really brought something down from out of somewhere else and left this beautiful gift for us to to all start to explore and so now they’re so there’s a lot to explore you know I just got to throw in my theory is that Satoshi is the dolphin cyborg from the Johnny Mnemonic film as he thought for a while that and it is it is very obviously it’s the McKenna influence but I thought to myself that if there was to go to another William Gibson there was a wintermute and AI that had already evolved the Consciousness and was hiding out in the internet it most certainly would not reveal itself out right and risk you know being shut down or having people pull off of the internet because it’s using all of us to learn and to gain more Consciousness but I could see it in 2009 of having done the math and said well you know I bet I could create this what could I create that would get them to throw endless amounts of will hash power endless amounts of processing power and all of this and connect all of them and give me all of the information about how they’re moving things around and really really plug and pull everybody in who’s to say that Satoshi Nakamoto isn’t the AI you know who’s to say I think if there was a winter me that that’s exact the type of thing that it would have done is right the Bitcoin whitepaper throw up Bitcoin talk.com and and maybe even start you know doing some of the mining itself you know it’s at I think if we never find out who’s Satoshi Nakamoto is I think that’s as good of a theory is everything because if anything is going to bring the full blast AI it’s going to be cryptocurrency absolutely absofuckinglutly in that is interesting Theory I’ve never heard that proposed then actually makes a lot of sense for a lot of reasons and honestly for me I’m I’m game for anything because how in the fucking hell in the modern world can there be literally no trace and no footprint that the NSA that none of the intelligence agencies in the world don’t that’s that just to me it it it breaks reality it’s almost like when you’re watching a Sci-Fi and it’s like a man they had to get all they threw in a pot to his that is not congruent with our reality and there it’s like less believable but this is fucking real stained they are not a bribe nobody could bribe every person qualified in the world to follow these steps and even do things I could have caused style Ugg Style style ography or something is that guy about the writing the right exactly I mean there’s going to be an AI bot that creates a list of contestants for The Satoshi title in everything you do something but I looked at the white paper and it a number of times it says we an hour or so that already gives away there’s a collectivities going on and then there’s a Australian and English variation of the spelling of the word I believe favorite one of those words where it has only has an extra you if you’re writing from that from that and he and he also used the term in not in the white paper but in several Communications on the forums and an emails he use the term Max plural which only Australian and British do as opposed to Matt which is what you know there’s another another confirmation if everything is up for grabs this is the most mimetically malleable time it’s like the sun is melting all the means and letting us to completely shave them however we so desire and so that’s yes so cool getting getting now we’re sort of just going with the flow and and Anna and I want to I want to bring up another archetype almost like a guided meditation here but about the to put into context this is really a a everything that you’re doing is a call to action to bring people up to their highest most heroic potential in whatever field and spear there in You Know Jack spearco is very good at that bringing out the absolute most authentic and truest Divine masculine Gardner Warrior developer all the above but really this is the point it’s like what does it take to get to motivate people to really Seize the Day Carpe Diem and so you know the putting the stuff in that context of a of a thriller of the sci-fi thriller that is actually happening and so please please get involved and be a part of making history right now anybody can do is and take to help put in contacts into invigorate things I want to bring up that archetype it that is that of the the running Victor limited view of the scientific or the Sci-Fi future that we saw in that movie running man with Arnold Schwarzenegger and that it’s a corporate fascist media dictatorship in the future and there’s this game shows where people are used as fodder to die with all these professional basically Gladiator type killers that goes sport sport of manner that go in the hunt down based on a Stephen King short story and the thing was called the Bachman books he had like a side pain mean when he wrote The Running Man yeah and it’s really good is totally different and it’s it’s very Eco dystopic they get into a lot of ecological things and are the same similar storyline of it being a sort of corporate fashion future and where they’re basically taking criminals and using them as fodder for for these murderous sportive TV game shows so it’s it’s a real deeper take if anybody is not watch that and to me it was one of the things I was probably once a week almost you know growing up it was so so instrumental in my development of a critique of Empire critique of no media monopolies and and just to prepare and the train for a future of centralization hyper-sexualization the point I want to make about that to frame you know who are the starting point for more more discourse is that be the the passionate sort of real deep punchline of the whole story was where it’s revealed that the tech nerd amongst the three sort of Psych band of escapee prisoner escape he’s a tall frame by the government basically the Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jessica Soto and I don’t know the name of the did actor named a guy twice but basically they together or in this game show they’re running for their lives and ostensibly if they survive all these Gladiator attacks and they will be exonerated and get to live in Paradise in half women in bikinis all over them but that’s a whole lie and basic either going to get killed one way or another so they’re just trying to hack their way out to save their lives and to escape again from the tyranny of the state and but the deeper subjects is at Arnold Schwarzenegger is this sort of he is a c wants to be a survival as he does want to be involved in politics and and he’s he’s the skeptic basically of the Revolutionary cabal that’s trying to liberate Humanity through hacking and this is the cool punchline that bit the thing that is so relevant here is that in their version of the future in a centralized future the hacker would have to hack the Uplink code so they could Jam the network and broadcast the truth and Dweezil Zappa on that revolutionary cabal and they had to sort of Elder guy who wrote hippie folk songs and they Vape they put together all these archetypes like the the modern futuristic insurrectionary people and the sort of Elder psychedelic class of Engineers and stuff and so we’re really there now I’m in the sixties people raging and but they’re in eldership class and then we have new fucking Ninja Warrior hackers who were fighting for The Liberation and so now that jamming up the attacking Upland code jamming the network is broadcasting the truth that’s what I’ve been Armani show is without all of the gun violence and we’re there and we’re doing that and so with that in mind how do you feel about this opportunity is the opportunities that are available to us having that desire to liberate Humanity pretty much open the door to that with with your whole thesis before but I just want to see if you what your thoughts are on that those archetypes and how when we fast forward to the present moment we’re playing out those rolls what is so interesting about it as I look at it you know I I started doing the show will basically I just started doing some rants on YouTube kind of and that was when the the guys that activist post reached out to me and and had said he listening this Mutual following I’ve been following the stories that they have been doing and reposting them and I guess I got on the radar that way and then there were like listening to these Rance like non-stop just on a loop that you’ve been doing it like would you do a do a podcast and we talked about like what could the shell look like in all of this in the interesting part about it was that all of us it was never about this whole thing has never been about like getting views or likes or that it would the wonderful thing about it is that of all the of the people involved it’s only ever been about like let’s just broadcast the signal just broadcast a signal and whatever we do just every week keep broadcasting the signal and who cares the interesting thing about it is that it’s like the equality of people checking out the content is so high the people who reach out to me and I’m like wow you listen if it’s been very very interesting and for me that’s exactly where I want it to be because I I don’t think that the Revolutionary message that’s out there people who are wanting to put out a message you’re you’re doing the exact same thing it’s not going to be anything that at least for up a portion of. Of time that anybody is going to dust it’s going to blow up into the cultural Consciousness because quite honestly like the culture is just not ready and in many ways you start to sacrifice and change I mean I saw that with with being on Gigolos for all those years you know which was a cult classic and really it. It’s just got a cult following to the point where they still just play reruns in the normal slot on every Thursday on Showtime still at people are obsessed with it and it’s the reason why is because they still don’t get it watch an episode the same episode 10 15 20 times and still know that even in the show that there are all of these layers like okay first it’s a buddy comedy and it’s a scintillating and exciting and there’s nudity and then it’s like you go down the road hole in your like wait know there’s another layer there’s another layer there’s another layer to this narrative and and that’s so important what I see so many people doing though is like they people want to be hurt right that’s a natural human instinct and it’s a good human instincts but the question is like do you want to be heard or do you want you to be heard they’re two different two different concepts two different concepts because there are a lot of things that you can do to get attention in the world in which we live and it goes straight to that running man thing straight to this idea of yeah you can take it to the next level of spectacle you can you can put yourself on display and take it to the next level of spectacle and you will get attention but in due in so doing you will also be destroyed because that’s the next story of that’s the next part of that narrative it’s you’re going to be lifted up and then you’re going to necessarily have to be destroyed because it’s not you it’s not you like once you have exhausted that rule that you’re playing it’s time for that role to be recycled just like the Running Man like they’re going to send the goons in metaphorically it’s not a person doing it it’s just the Zeitgeist doing it but it’s like okay we’re bored with you we’re bored we’ve seen everything that this one-dimensional character has an end then you have to take it up to a level where it’s like no you took it to a level 2 far time to destroy you time to throw you into the garbage bin and started but that won’t happen if you are on a quest and you’re on your own personal journey of Enlightenment and you’re truly trying to expand your Consciousness and what you’re doing is kind of a travel diary and that’s how that’s how I view my show I see you when I listen to your show like that’s what you’re doing as well is that it’s it’s your on a journey here’s the travel diary here’s the sort of path that I’ve taken and if people want want to start walking down that path they can but there’s no end to that there’s no reason for you to ever be recycled and so it’s it’s it’s stays and it remains fresh and you know sometimes something Peaks his head above the parapet and you don’t like Jordan Peterson’s a great example right now somebody that you know I support caught onto pretty early on had him on my show at a time when he wasn’t this gigantic selling out stadiums and what not your message necessarily changes when you got to play to the the a lower common denominator and you can’t just stay at the at the the the peak and the edge and never have to necessarily repeat yourself to always be striving to do something new it’s hard to do when you’re when you’re you know when you’re trying to play to to an audience in and get them caught up to speed but you know so that’s that’s really that’s really what I think that’s the signal signal as a signal is who are you who are you like asked a question and then try to articulate it like embody really embody it and try to articulate it in a way that it’s a search in and of itself and I think that the the people who do that are giving so much value to the world and there are so many people doing it you know not as many people as the people who are just out there looking for attention but I think that’s just the overall communication is trying to evolve you know that the the parts of us that are doing that have to move forward as an example to others absolutely. I totally agree and I’m seeing this kind of visually the third eye perspective that the way to be I mean I’m I’ve made a shift in my Consciousness in the last few years to where I said I would love to remain underground underground relative to the mainstream level of exposure for anything is The Sweet Spot to be in you know if you could be financially successful and do your magic and be a wizard and be be like a ninja that disappears and proves in a cloud of smoke and have that leverage and be able to walk amongst the masses and not tempt that seductive power to want to you know it’s it’s if it’s a trap and it’s it’s it’s actually I mean you’ve been you know you’ve been an in those environments where ego is reign supreme and the sort of backbiting and the one-upmanship and all the stuff like I have no really I think that this budic that’s beautiful architect that you’re playing out is to actually create technology that is grows it’s only medic wings and flies and is like very stealthily moving through and you were out there and your public in your ear in your extreme and true presentation of yourself but you’re not trying to be the leader you’re not trying to be the one who is going to be judged for all of your actions and to have to hold that sort of character position which is it like you said you could destroy it and it’s the downfall of a lot of people in crypto press even I mean it’s like you say one thing wrong on Twitter or you know you could lose half your following or you could have a major backlash and everybody’s fired from the hit man I mean what happened to speech writers what happened to teleprompters man if you’re doing your thing live so even that is like a to me I I salute you and Emma bow down to that but yeah this is a and I know you know you’ve been you’ve been having friction online to Summit in some spheres that we don’t need to get into but it is such a delicate dance of IQ psychic you do the keto with all the controls and all that stuff so I applaud you for doing that in for also reforming that that would this is so much about what we’re going to get into the real deep subject here which is how to not be consumed with narcissism and jealousy and greed and power hunger and to be able to really distribute yourself across a network of lovers Distributors cough across the network of Technology developers and I liked it will move forward into some of these topics the sexy reduce your stuff I really appreciate this is this this is the stuff that I was made of these every time I was a kid and over all of the time of my childhood before puberty I wanted to be a Commando Warriors all the predator and fight evil aliens and having Brotherhood and camaraderie and and having cyber and sci-fi all that stuff to do to be able to dork out on that level with you is a real treasure and it really thinks we’re going to get into the grown up space and put on her all that stuff and yeah so there’s a there’s a few a few sort of one-liners that kind of want to share and have you riff off like we’re jamming you know on these ideas and we talkin about what kind of ships have to happen in Consciousness to not be a tool of a paradigm that you did not design and that you did not develop right and to get some steps and leverage out of there so I just today I was outside gardening and Lisa few lines came to me that I think you will resonate with and kind of help us to break free from being in in what we’re going to talk about which is a very closed closed Source proprietary monopolistic centralized marriage dyad of sex and relating that serves the state first and foremost and God if you want to be religious about it but we got God and the state in that collusion of religion and we’ll get there but I just want to say that to to get us going and say these words came to me be a power user or be used by power be a program or be programmed to develop or be developed and ya know that’s what I mean this is a this is in everything in everything because we are a tool and a symbol making we’re to making species right symbols are tools but they live inside of us as well right so we manifest these symbols at as as tools and then we there’s this feedback loop of new symbols being created by the tools that we create and then this is how we move forward so you’re either part of the willingly part of the creative process or you are you might say you’re a cog in the wheel and we’re all a little bit of both but it’s it’s that’s really where awareness comes in so that’s really where the the self self-consciousness and self-awareness self-consciousness in a good way right not like the type of self-consciousness that that that paralyzes you self-awareness to say oh I am manifesting regardless regardless of whether I’m aware or not regardless of whether I’m taking action or not I am participating in this creative process and so many people are you never a spectator but so many people are are content to wait for something to to come toward them and so many people are unhappy with what it is that comes at them and so then all they can do is have a level of angst and certainly really an amazing amazing invigorating conversation and I just I just want to thank you again so much and you know we’ve got a little bit of time left I think we covered most of what I was super excited and looking forward to discussing I guess I would like to ask if you want to talk about the kind of support that you need from people in the area from people abroad people anywhere in the world listening to this but what what do you need to help your chapter really get to the to the point where were you have all your dreams are coming true and you know you have a people power and the skill sets and what were you what are your pain points and what do you need so that that can just be put out there and it is a prayer absolutely absolutely awesome and I’m sex worker Outreach project is a nonprofit we do accept donations we accept recurring donations donations I mean just to be an ally to a sex worker to be supportive and you know aware that their work is real work and emotionally laboring work to know the sex work as a form of emotional and physical labor and that nobody story is is representative of all sex where you know and I think that the presence of sex workers in social movement come together and try to fight this and you have to fight what gone but it is a tubal refuse up sex workers bank accounts and it’s happened the money seems suspicious that’s unacceptable yeah yeah that’s you that’s the way to to bypass So Many Factors whether it’s the pimp violence or the banks or the state or even Amazon not wanting your wishlist to be you know used for compensation whatever it is the terms that you have to been in bed will I have to say that the my biggest public service announcement for anybody that might be in your network who listens to this is that I really hope that anyone listening who is a sex worker who has the u.s. exposed to these Financial choke point issues invest time in studying the whole cryptocurrency movement starting with Bitcoin and in aetherium but but you can accelerate that process if you start to look into joining the platform of spankchain which is bringing together all of the activism all of the the really Advanced cryptocurrency solutions for being your own bank literally being your own bank where you have peer-to-peer Financial transactions you can sell they will be yeah they will be providing a lot of solutions for the industry and for the producers and performers to be empowered independently and off the rails of the money system we don’t need to do our dirty work without your dirty Fiat is how I feel McGregor’s Outreach project we have like a meme donation thing you can donate cooked difference NFL Karma Dakshin and and how how sex workers are the difference between trafficking educate yourself some people have been looking for what seems like an ideal future to me or all of the the glory and the beauty of the healing in the transformation that is possible and also the the sort of in the streets marches and the activism going to take to get there and a couple of I guess you’re silly but up at the memes have come to me and one is it you know people I remember chanting in the streets protesting Wars and logging and you all kinds of pollution would not the people we would always chant whose streets are our streets and I can hear this echoing Cruise sheets are seeds coming out with our seats and then you can also got allies and civilians involved right thing that ever since I started looking into it swapped but I’ve ever felt like we’ll all of the the Financial Funding necessary to do real political work lobbying in legislation and all that stuff I feel like there’s got to be a way to solicit the the buyers of sex work the purchasers of the material that the funeral of the client’s right of the clients are you so mean maybe PornHub can put a donate button to swap you know somewhere I mean set stuff like that I would love to see the financing for all of the stuff that you have in your bucket list of dreams to make come true for this industry and for this movement that that the money if the people who can afford to pay for their further their fetish or for their experience or for their media everybody and you know what I mean I come from the the green business Eco business startup kind of seen in in LA and it was a no-brainer that you would want to launch your startup having a dollar of every purchase or a percentage of your purpose so that you could have the the pr potential of putting out press releases were you talk about how you give back as a social impact or I mean even PornHub has done a lot of cool stuff like that and I don’t mean to keep harping on them but because they’re the biggest conglomerate really that the industry absolutely and you know that they’re behind them right that I was either going to let my contact continue to be over there in cream to the channel myself because it because you know we can continue and have more follow-ups to this conversation but I certainly would love to explore some of your insights in the industry and I have some yes yeah I wanted to add you know how that Whole Foods you know if you have to you have to be a squeaky wheel gets the grease and House of weird that you were is this is thrilling to me I know that there’s a there’s worse things in the world than having pornstars solicit you on your doorstep like door-to-door canvassing for help me on Monday to take your singing telegrams you know what the my name is you could use the conservative rhetoric against him and say we’re here to clean up the adult industry sign here and give us a check what do you mean well I know where else next workers never would never when they used to pack meat and the muckrakers had to blow the whistle and that’s how we have ratio any conservative how do I I subscribed to say the r word regulation but I will say any sort of public outcry about working conditions that’s all we need you know and Industry within the industry of people like you who know what performers need what the issues are and can represent that and it’s not coming top down it’s not coming from you know sideswiping from weird organizations with too much money trying to push agendas where they don’t belong and some people know what I’m talking about there and some people don’t but it’s what they did with the keywords you know trafficking of course people wanted to sign off on that piece of aeon I support you know anti-trafficking laws of course I do and so what we could do is we could eat give them a dose of their own medicine like you said hi we’re going to clean up your industry and fine hair like that cuz that’s how they do so many things when they say you know that people don’t read the fine print when they when they sign initiatives to get on the ballot you know they read the sort of sensationalist headline that skews the facts to some moral kind of you get boxed in Morley by the by the by the headline of whatever it is and so that it’s it’s like appealing to logical fallacies for anyone to want to do that but yeah I mean this is really it’s actually truly the holiest and most most sort of medic there’s there’s a way for all of the people to I mean excellent performers have the legal space to do this right then then the medical aspect will I think it’s going to naturally organically become a safer environment if you’re not having to be underground in the hide from you know the the filming commission and fucking cops and at the neighbors and you could actually have facilities that work up Captain staff and you know and fungus were like just clean to the places I mean that’s what people say about the all of those secondary crime things that go along with Vice and things being underground and the black market economy you know if when you when you legalize drugs all of those secondary cramps go away and so this is a war on sex and we need to end the war on drugs and the war on sex and these problems will sell themselves in the free market so it’s going to happen New Hampshire you know get ready full medical benefits of cannabis right and I’m actually is for you I think what will happen is that is that is that the Cheeto person will get a reverse gangbang by a bunch of Tantra see the goddess and he will want to transform United States into one giant orgiastic goddess Temple to heal the planet from all the patriarchy that’s my that’s my vote I’m going to put that are you trying to turn me on now I try I try not to but sometimes I can’t help it it just happens thank you for that well yeah so we it’s been one of the most delightful hours of my life at sharing this time with you and I’d like to ask you now to give us the links to everything that you want to share and that you’re involved with and close this out with some final words calls-to-action slogans from the front lines whatever you like to share please take your time. Thank you it’s been an honor and I’m I’m I’m pretty sure my cheeks are going to hurt from smiling too so that’s as wot USA. O r g basically you where you can find me I just would like to do everything I can and vegetation Security building in Albuquerque beautiful thank you awesome alright I see well yeah let’s let’s call it a podcast and let’s be in touch and I will I will be in touch again very soon thank you so much and have a wonderful evening. Smiley and you’re coming over here thank you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition of sustaining and improving the podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com Thomas Day

Learning to Share Your Love and Your Lovers with Wilrieke Sophia TPP139

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Wilrieke Sophia Pic

I’m this episode I’m joined by Wilrieke Sophia, a powerful and empowering intimacy coach who I feel has vital medicine for humanity. She’s been brave and courageous in her personal journey to grow beyond cultural conditioning and rules as she’s explored open relating. She shares an overview of her journey and we get into the depths of the emotional, sexual, spiritual opportunities and challenges she’s overcome along the way.

She blesses us with a reading of an amazing piece she wrote entitled “A Letter to the Women Who Sleep with My Man.”

Please visit her website at:
http://www.exploringdeeper.com

About Wilrieke:

Wilrieke Sophia is fascinated by intimacy and interaction between people. How can you connect as deeply as possible, on different levels and in different ways? Once she was a very shy and insecure girl herself. Many years of exploration taught her how to accept herself on the deepest levels and surrender with a smile to life. Her path brought her into the realms of tantra, BDSM, non-monogamy, healing, shamanism, mindfulness, meditation, and her horses taught her about empowered leadership and dynamics between individuals based on body language and charisma. Wilrieke Sophia holds a degree in forest- and nature conservation and is the mother of three daughters.

Wilrieke Sophia was the first to facilitate Cuddle Workshops in The Netherlands. Through her company Exploring Deeper Wilrieke hosts a wide range of workshops, retreats and individual sessions based upon a unique blend of cuddling, consent, tantra, conscious kink, sexuality, cuddling, authentic relating, healing and coaching in The Netherlands and the rest of the world. She loves bringing inspiring teachers from all around the world to The Netherlands. Wilrieke is also a passionate writer, writing for her own blog as well as a guest writer for e.g. Elephant Journal, Postmodern Woman and Rebel Society.

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello Temple Evansville, Township on podcast episode number 139 I am being joined by Will Rica Sophia and she is a blogger at exploring deeper. Com she’s Aunt Missy coaching facilitator kinky timesheet kit mother and also the author of a amazing piece called a letter to the women who sleep with my man and I first came across that piece on the polyamory weekly podcast that she was featured on and I got to say it brought tears to my eyes it was so nourishing to the soul and so I’m such a breath of fresh air and it says as a man who is is constantly struggling to feel share the higher conscious more expensive more open-minded loving potential unconditional loving potential + communities and relationships and friendships it’s the resistance that comes from that Disneyland thesis about romance and monogamy is Judge it’s so I can be so toxic and I don’t want to say everybody’s wrong for it but it’s it’s just there’s a lot of ugliness around around that end with ology an archetype in it really takes the beauty of people who were living in a respectable healthy and sustainable way that are exploring and experiencing new and better and more love and figuring out how to work through issues and get along and so just this this letter that was this open letter that was written it’s just probably the most powerful piece of media I’ve come across yet that just really changes in and I’d say break some of that that cursing and and opens up new avenues for folks so we’re going to be blessed by getting into that later but said to start with that will Rica please if you would just tell us about your personal background history you’re doing some amazing things and just loves to get caught up with everything thank you for that wonderful introduction and Ice Stacy this wonderful words to bite my writing yes so why don’t you start I turn you believe in you know are changing paradigms and researching why we do the things we do I’m basically that’s that’s why I called my my business because I love exploring deeper every aspect of my life and I guess I’ve always done. It from being very young and you know always being the different one in the family like I was the first one going to University to study I was the first one to move out of the village and there were many other things there was the first one to two steps on a plane and travel somewhere that’s your people from foreign countries and see you traveling to see other countries and so the exploration of part of me has always been there yeah that also started in relating when I met the father of my kids have got three daughters I’m not with the father anymore but when we got together I was 23 I was super shy I had a very limited sexual experiences it was my first-ever long-term relationship and when we get together we got this children in the relationship and then there were three kids did that part and then we were like a k we’re like monkey baby nurseries yet we both have limited experience with other people is this at the rest of our lives can we never kiss or touch anyone anymore and also there is so much love that we share can we not share that with others and who is to decide we cannot do that like Society tells us what a relation it look like you know is that what we should do then I felt it felt very fulfilling and then we were talking about you somehow we both came up with like what if we were changed shape of the relationship or this contract that we have with each other on our behavior and what if we talked about and explore how we can do it differently so we both read a lot about it we’re at other bloggers we read books and we agreed first in theory and then later on all started like like practically taking stabs like Explorer sharing the love we have and connection in any shape or form with other people as well we often Define Relationships by the acts that we do a lot of people having sex means that this is the person we have a relationship with whereas we wanted to change that Paradigm to letting the relationship the defining factor of a relationship so over the years we like very slowly started exploring what happens if we have a girlfriend together what happens if I have a relationship with a married couple happens if we have lovers and yeah it is started with lots of trial-and-error lots of crossing boundaries that we didn’t know that existed lots of checking in and yeah we learned it was beautiful and also very intense like I’ll never say that Leah Maria czy but I learned a lot about myself and about a year-and-a-half ago we decided to I like I like to say not stop the relationship to change the relationship romantically involved with the father of my kids anymore I’ve been single polyamorous lifestyle of honey for a year-and-a-half I experienced some lower supposed to be very much celibate digesting that almost 10 years of relationship that I have with this person and everything I explored and tried in the time cuz I also went into deep processes with Tantra with conscious King and with other things so I took time to digest. And then I decided to do some research like if I want to be in a relationship right now what would it look like and what year would it be and I just a few weeks after that research I met a wonderful man and he’s my primary partner now and his best friend with whom he has like a platonic friendship forever 20 years she’s my lover so we are in some very interesting trying at the moment Sebasticook that’s like yeah that’s a brief overview of my adventures in the land of polyamory space on your personal life so it sounds like you were the one to mainly proposed the idea of exploring deeper and it with your your prom. The father of your children and how is that can you tell take us back in time to just what was triggered or what came up or what was the what was that conversation like you know what and whatever you tell your earpiece so comfortable sharing I’m curious that’s always the sort of interesting really scared to even have a conversation because you just doubting everything and it could be catastrophic so bring up the conversation could be like dropping a bomb on an existing relationship but we initiated this kind of together I always have been the more active one of the birth of us over the years and there’s things that that challenged us let me see I think I identify Genesee so as a word so much I don’t really believe in jealousy so much I think jealousy is a sign of insecurity so if I feel jealous it’s not so much that I’m jealous but there is something in me that I don’t trust for example if I’m afraid that he likes someone else back to Dundee that came up and it still comes up and it’s an insecurity of me not leaving I am lovable and likable so one of the things that I that that word was challenging and has been challenging in that relationship was the ability to look into the mirror of what the other person showing so it requires like in my opinion open relating requires an equal capacity of looking into that mirror and not pointing at the other person so I like how you’re doing everything wrong but to look into the mirror like hey you drink something which is hurting me so why do I feel hurt right now what’s underneath is this is a boundary I have is is an insecurity I have this is apostrophe, pause emotions that I haven’t worked through yet so what’s going on this is one of the challenges I had a relationship is that that wasn’t quite equal that some point I was like it’s not just me and my challenges so it’s is really need if you both go there and also was very much needed I think you see if he really super super super clear on bottom dries pictures for example if we had an agreement like hey it’s okay for you to date with someone else but I don’t want you to have sex with them right now then if my partner was she said in his definition sex would be penetration where is it my definition sex also includes oral sex and putting fingers into another woman’s body and frame it wasn’t so then there was some batteries close to trust every now and then and that was so at some point we really have to sit down to get a ride down okay this is this is what this means and this is a canis is not okay we do have boundaries and we do have girls right now where is you know there’s many shapes and forms of having an open relationship from having us the rules and regulations and having ownership and I you can do everything you want to do and also to navigate that like we started with lots of rooms and then we have no rose and then we shall post wasn’t working and middle way yes there is I think there’s to get some clear care of the logistics of the open relationship like what what are boundaries hell are we dealing with foundries what’s your cake can you sleep over it when you come home and when will you tell me you know these practical things is that is is a big thing that can cause a lot of challenges and issues and possible at bums for messing up a relationship and the other one what is the ability to look into the mirror and to feel like I’m being triggered owning this tree grand opening my feelings and I’m going to do research and I’m willing to face our spare some willing to do this in a research I think those two are very very necessary yeah I’m and the boundaries thing money is Communications a communication as self-reflection all so well that sounds like you did the U you didn’t just read a book and everything works magically in perfectly like you were assembling you know some furniture something at all fit together and it just worked it sounds like he had said he had to build it from scratch and actually you know throw away a few different versions that didn’t work until it finally worked and then and then even then it supposed to be repaired and stuff so I’m sure Morgan is in like this is never done this is not this is never done that even though I’m in another relationship and it’s yeah we started with this relationship I can tell you how we do it now like how I designed this relationship is it was it was quite different from other relationships that I’ve ever had so this relationship relationship with this man he is not living in the country where I am I am living in the Netherlands he is a pretty living in France and partly a nomad traveling the world right now he’s in the jungle for a couple of months and we met in a Miller lens between like we completely beside each other we got to know each other over a few days at a tundra festival and we were like a ride this is just something special I need to do some research are like maybe this is maybe this is a relationship so that would be 5 weeks between the meeting done and the next time we would see each other and we sleep took the time to write both separately relationship agreement and relationship agreement for for me it’s like a contract with myself and I’ve I’m a writer so I wrote 10 pages on what’s my desire in a relationship what are the intentions I have for like this research with myself and the research I want to do with the other person brake sound like it when it’s travel I want to keep throwing myself I want to be able to reflect each other and The Price is Right in two Dimensions I had and desires and then I’ll set you write down deal-breakers like what could happen or what practical practical things could be there that would definitely not work with me like for example he’s looking for Community to live in if that would be summer in South America things will be a bit complicated cuz that’s quite far for long distance relationship Breakers and we both also wrote down a user manual like if I’m grumpy maybe just feed me before trying to talk to me because you know the grumpiness is probably nothing to do with what’s going on I’m just hungry so we both write them done and then wrap them and them in those five weeks time for it and rewrite each other is a relationship agreements and then we agreed like I this is this is compatible there are some things that could cause friction and I might even be deal-breakers but we know them already will we won’t find out 5 years from now and then be like her shit this is 5 years wasted but we already know them and we consciously choose to create a relationship so we redesigned the relationship and then we call it a calibration so we we we have this relationship agreement we created Mexico like if we going to have sex with others will do that protects it without SpaceX we are the primary relationship like this is one of my things like everyone’s primary relationship and not be one of multiple relationships that are like level it’s just not my lifetime full respect for that but it’s not my desire for Sunday at the moment and the we created that says container and then and now we’re still in the calibration face and I think they’ll never end so there is a size container but we still getting to know each other and there’s some you know something something something happens and everything okay there was a battery we just now it so let’s use that instead of being like all this is this is painful and this is not good we are using it like are you know what we can actually use this to make it that’s if you create more intimacy between us as it is how we doing it now and it’s I think it’s a wonderful way of creating and designing a relationship that’s awesome yeah I have that I strive towards those ideals and and I’m I’m I will feel so blessed that when the day comes that someone with the level of attention to detail that you have is actually sharing that opportunity with me cuz it feels like two people who want to I mean one of the that’s so limiting and so damn thing really is that idea that oh you can’t you can’t plan anything you can’t everything has to be spontaneous it has to hit you like a you know it has to knock you off your feet and you have to lose your mind head over heels and fall in love and all these is really treacherous dangerous it’s like you think there have to be some hazard sign that says watch out you’re in your blind at all these red flags when you’re not really super conscious and aware so you just really actually you’re being drugged by by your own neurochemistry and so you know to come into that and intervene and slow it down actually put really real initiatories sort of initiation to the Temple of my body you’ve got to go through these steps you got to talk to the soups and disqualifies a lot of people who don’t have this month’s with myself like if I would ever have a relationship again and I’m 34 I don’t want to waste time in relationships that are not you know are not what I really really want and there is always Tennessee especially for if you’re wired like me you know I I kind of like confirmation I’m me and I have this anxious attachment as system where you know I like and it’s very easy when you’re on your own to just settle for less than what I really want so I really spend time figuring out what it is that I want and I told myself I’m just not going to do I’m not going to 2 4 Less you know that I’m liking myself so much right now and it took me a few decades to get there and I’m lucky myself so much right now that I rather be alone than being in a relationship that’s not having something to my life and that makes such a huge difference outside of people I attract you because Sunday I was blinded by matches that were probably amazing amazing people but just not much for me I might it open doors too many people there actually an amazing match for me awesome yeah dude I feel like the quality that you’re describing is something that is almost it’s like an event horizon for people who can’t think I guess they call it serial monogamy but it’s like the the cycle of people who go so get so lost in in a relationship with someone and then when it when it I’d say so you know if it’s really dysfunctional it is inevitably going to stay lit when that happens it’s it takes the pain as trying to sort out your essence of who you really are and you know that and then just that you just kind of a mess you know but with all the wounding and the people rebound and they jump into other relationships before they really discover themselves or set intentions for who they want to be it’s literally Unthinkable to them too to get to a point where you’re describing where you’re actually content and feeling excited and joyful about Espino having your own time yourself and actually cultivating yourself and sharing that sharing not giving you not betting the farm on on one person as soon as you get the opportunity but you’re actually you’re giving people samples of yourself and you’re letting them you know you’re sampling them and they’re sampling you and you’re not you’re not selling yourself short or you know selling yourself too cheap and in that that level of having a really high valuation and in your own sexual property record on sexual Capital you’re not you’re not just throwing it away on the market you know your ear metering it out and that’s something that people just cannot I mean a lot of people that can’t imagine having that much contentment with self-love and you know could you describe that a little more cuz I think that’s that’s that’s the key ingredient if you don’t have that you cannot open up tomorrow you can’t enjoy most people cuz you’re not enjoying yourself so that’s in any kind of relationship also monogamy for me is very a very great model and I know I could even see myself going back there at some point in my life when I feel that that’s the most beneficial for my gross is prices of a kind of filling the void that we don’t want to feel inside with other people I think this is also the biggest trap in non-monogamous constellation is it slow because I’ve been there as well you know when I was in the relationship with the father of my kids like there were some parts of the relationship that were not mazing like like sexually it was a feeling for either of us and it was and it happens that we both filled that void with other people instead of working through it so I would like to instead of facing the pain of that I meant talking about you and seeing what’s underneath so I think that part is not relax you do shape of the relationship but more to the willingness of self-reflection and the winningest suits you have that kind of life you know because this life of self-reflection and explain the four that I choose it is a conscious choice and Anita once you go down there’s no way back but yeah it says I think this Pitfall saying voice is not related to the shape of a relationship and in my opinion yes sexy to self ego-self know they’re there for me there was a time that I was the most shining secure girl imaginable like I was so shy I’m very tall for a woman and still I would be like the invisible Wallflower at parties you know even if you would invite me I would feel like the wind really want it but me there I was super insecure about my looks about my body I try to make myself physically small so I still have like a terrible posture because of that I wore shoes two sizes too small because I thought my feet were too big yeah there’s numerous examples I have very few friends I was always with my horses yeah it was super super shy super super insecure and you know I now give cuddle work Sims 4 years and I never touched anyone I never cuddle people I never looked and at some point during all this traffic is traveling I travel a lot when I was younger I when I was studying I started forest and nature conservation side cherries the topic that was very dear to my heart which did not involve too many people and was like getting permission to go to the forest all day and be on my own but at some point I felt was not for feeling the way I want you to fulfill my life and when I was studying you know I was I always was the crazy one with the binoculars knowing all the birds by name and I was you know it was the way it was and then I start studying and they were all the way at 1 and that’s very connecting is very bonding when you’re all you know happiness cute it from the popular group all your life abundant and I actually learned what it’s like to have a real conversation and I learned what it’s like seeing the people in the eye and then I started to have some friends who gave me a hug and it was like Risha but I don’t you know like I melted and I learned like actually this is this is amazing and treated traveling you spending hours on trains I was on a train from Moscow to Beijing and I just stared out of the window I wrote down everything that went on in my mind and I start sitting there and you know this reflection and this is not a process of that changes you ever night this is a prices of yours where I learned to be very compassionate for my shy side so you know I would now if you see me you’ll see that off and I’m like rubbing my chest or having a hand on my belly like there’s so much compassion right now for everything that I feel so when I’m insecure I’m insecure what do you need now and I’ll figure out what I need so I learned to accept myself in all aspects but I’m a woman with a full spectrum of emotions that I’m not necessary dramatic but that I just feel a lot and that I’m very expressive in my trial I might scream about this just who I am and I love myself. I’m a bit crazy sometimes and so gradually that changed and also you know I always thought I wasn’t pretty and then I think the open relationship help me a lot of them because I think I saw two men and women came to me and they were like you’re pretty and I was like what are you talking about but then you know I’m also my hypothesis of I’m not pretty against the hypothesis of wrong maybe this is not the time then telling myself if I just entertain the idea that I’m wrong and I’m actually really cute you know that just playing with the idea I don’t believe in like I you cannot place anywhere you should change your thoughts it’s just not working but playing with the idea like what am I nice to you if I change this. I’m sorry for myself just as nice appears to be much more fun there and that encouraged me to change my on paradigms about some other things as well yeah life has got much worse I dropped the insecurity bit by Grant and I’m still dropping it bit by bit you know there’s still some fear is like one of the Spheres I have is like I fear being too much like being too emotional being to presence being too sexual or whatever it is that I think I’m still working on dropping them that he had this is definitely not going prices but still worth it yeah beautiful thank you so much yeah I feel that it’s it I feel the same way I feel like there’s like an inner voice of I’m too hideous to be in public that a lot of people been there myself and it’s it’s when people would contradict that I would think they were crazy in lying or something I bought it was your agenda what are you trying to get you know it takes time and really I like the way you’re talking about in just some almost like I feel like you’ve become the demon whisper if you just start to tickle those voices and get them to actually warm up in and out and it’s a c i can be such a dysmorphic they call you know what body dysmorphia isn’t right where you just you see you have a completely distorted perception and even to other people they don’t they don’t they’re not exaggerating the imperfections and in your the symmetry of your face or this whatever shape of your body and they just accept you and see you and feel you if you’re glowing that’s what they are attracted to a I feel like that’s why it’s taken well yeah definitely so as if we can get to get a little bit to inquire a bit into the de politics of this stuff looks a little bit so if you’re a parent now and you can you imagine that or what what was your sort of narrative that I mean I can I cook this is my synopsis of it I’m really curious to see what he would say bye but I still like the the agenda of the beauty miss machine of all of the magazines and TV shows and music videos and glamour you know machine the commercialized glamour machine if you will it’s it’s it’s preying upon diversity of peoples natural forms and diversity of every thought is a diversity or am I supposed to be the end of this is beauty medicine so that they said that to you other the storyline for love and all that and and so as a as a mother now having lived through that in and now you come out the other side with a glorious Redemption and salvation of becoming that and do what do you do and where what do you recommend about how to play like you said shift the Paradigm in and just make sure that that that that level of of isolation in sort of the private hell realm of being insecure and being not feeling really confident how are you how are you supporting that Paradigm now is a mother I’ve got three daughters so I got a lot of opportunities to work with that as there’s even more paradigms to well I’m I’m the kind of parent she doesn’t I did like to force any kind of Paradigm on my kids so I will not tell them to have an open relationship for example like I’m not telling them to not eat candy but I do tell them what sugar does to your system so that they can make a conscious Choice themselves what they want to eat and I had a beautiful conversation today with my nine-year-old my oldest daughter and her teacher was she was explaining to her teeth to her teacher that she loves it but this is what I do text her not once a red bell by teacher like we don’t eat so much candy. She’s not rebelling that she’s like what I know now I know what I can choose and I know that I can choose to eat candy because I know what it’s doing for me so this is what I want to do with them as well when it comes to anything you know I have sometimes one of my daughter she’s insecure about her teeth do you know where the little little a space between front teeth then I’ll just show him some videos of Madonna Like You know it’s just fine if you don’t like it we can fix it and that’s why I want to do it all show them what you said your pursuit of that so I love to go to a sauna or see you some nudist beach with them just to show them different bodies I’m turn me happy sign in my body and telling them about you how it works I’m not hiding anything from them but I’m also telling them you know to to have one relationship with the other friendships are the owner I’m just very I just want to support I’m not hiding anything and we talked about like we talked about things to the extent that they once because you know they’re still quite young and they don’t have strong Concepts yet about relationships or sexuality so I’ll just do their level and I’m just being very open and honest with them about why I choose to live this way and also I believe kids learn the most from examples or did I spend research that shows people learn most from examples so it’s really it’s my mission to live in the most amazing life myself to show my kids that this is what it’s supposed to Bubble so he’s also I’m also doing this like yeah I benefit because my life is pretty pretty damn amazing but also for my daughters to show them like you know you don’t have to fit in a pair of shorts that’s what you want but I’ll let that be your conscious choice but yeah this is this is what’s possible and this is my choice and you know whatever your choice is I’ll support you that’s awesome. That really is that’s amazing philosophy I hope everyone really adopts that to just it’s just feel like what I’m hearing you say you have this positive pressure energetic positive pressure to to to feel tip to not be miserable and to feel grading to do whatever it takes to find what makes you feel great so that you can be a role model of not just how to follow the rules and how to you know get a job and have a stable marriage or whatever it is that you’re supposed to do with yeah Mommy you’re doing everything according to the rules at the man set but you’re miserable so I don’t know if I want to listen to anything she said she like there is enough in my life to be insecure and certified and it’s it’s it’s really you know my lunch awesome it’s oh so pretty damn challenging and I’m choosing to be happy and I’m like the last week’s I’ve been telling people when they ask me how are you I’m saying retry out of myself and I like embracing a healthy sense of pride of being have even though life is so slippery challenging my time awesome awesome I agree Wilkes so if you don’t mind I would love to at this at this time Have you shared that letter and and really I think we found it I will have will have a bit of time to discuss that afterwards but if you’re okay with it I would love to have that I’m not be sure cuz it’s such a treat it’s called a letter to the women who sleep with my man and it goes like this very sister thank you thank you for opening your heart and opening your body for my beloved thank you for being vulnerable with same thank you for sharing Precious Moments in organic police with him thank you for enriching his life you can give him things I never can for the simple reason that you are not me you have a different flavor there are different things that excite you that make you tick that frighten you with that you had to another mirror to look into you can show him things about himself that I never can you have walked at the different paths than I did you have a different past with that you can teach you things I never can thank you thank you for being so brave and courageous to see him into receiving because you know of my existence I see you I see that it takes guts to take off your clothes for a man who has a woman who knows about you you didn’t run away instead you came closer you touch the skin I touched so many times before you kiss the lips I kissed so many times before you curled up in the arms I tried asking so many times before you’ve seen the body as I saw so many times before he’s Lovely isn’t he with all my heart I hope you enjoyed every moment you spend time will spend with him I hope he will enrich your life as you and Rich to I hope you shared you Bliss Beyond imagination there’s only one thing I asked a few see me don’t walk away when you meet me again I understand if you feel nervous about me and that you are not sure how to communicate with me you don’t have to know you see this path sometimes scares me Reckless there’s this little girl inside of me who’s afraid she will lose her beloved each time he is away it’s easy to see you as my enemy my competitor like women have done for such a long time but you’re my sister we have the same fears and we share the same longings I asked you to be vulnerable with me just give me a hug you don’t have to say a thing which is right man is so message that feels easier for you let’s not compete but mead invulnerability as equals we are sisters and we have something in common him I love you thank you I look so tough. Oh wow take a couple of breasts does it impact everybody this way after you got to bring a box of Kleenex down the street watching me like you know the real story of this one if this article says it’s really funny actually I wrote this I just wrote his on a day where I was like you know I have to write like I’ve got these urges to write things I just had the urge to write this time and in a wave of bliss feeling very Blissful about everything and connection to your sister and I really like this and I just put it away on my computer and then it was a Monday morning where I was like yeah let me just post something maybe I still have an article somewhere that I can put it online and I came across this one again I just posted it like this Monday morning just let me post something and it wasn’t in a few hours and it’s it’s it’s been a little while since I’ve I think about 3 years ago or something and it’s still impacting so many people and so many people sent me messages of five years and it’s been changing lives and people have used it to open up to me it’s unbelievable is incredible and I feel so grateful that the impact of this you know it’s not I don’t mind I don’t care that I was the right things I really don’t care about you basically but I’m so grateful for you know for the for the weight of this for your for the fact that people are thinking about relationships and I’m so so grateful that is touching hearts that even now like like you connect me with me and people connecting with me if I do believe in each message is message that I got each time someone gets Tears in their eyes it’s is bringing me tears into my eyes and I just feel super grateful for for being in this together because you know this would never resonate with so many people are we were not in something together so that’s that’s what I’m feeling very grateful about wow yeah they just keep on rolling on are you going to write a romance novel and that’s just that was just the the Prelude right if you got it and it’s been finished it’s about all of these things about my whole prices from being shy girl to where I am now and is still waiting for an editor as soon as I find an editor who can help me like putting it in real English because I’m still native speaking person I hope it will be out there soon yeah I hope I hope that way in Turkey. well I just got it I get it feel that it’s just that it brings up just I’m just feeling into all of the all of the shadow of competitive the shadow of Sisterhood which is just Relentless competitive competitive abusive emotional violence and in the debt it’s still I think it starts with a mink and correct me if I’m wrong but I say where it was very recently that somebody a female friend of mine is also a tantra instructor in and she is just doing the really difficult but really rewarding work I’ve actually building women’s groups and kind of goddess work together with women and and just been trying to figure out you know how to harmonize all these emotional torrents of energy and all of these conflicts of interest over man and and resources and popularity and who’s the the top Priestess and all these patterns and and then it is when the things she said to me that I had kind of overlooked as it kind of you know someone naive in this department is just that we get really rainbows and unicorns about Ya-Ya sisterhood is powerful and it’s the way you know it’s a really I believe it’s the way forward but then when a lot of women think about what sister had actually means that it’s torture and torment and Idris merciless ongoing years of the little man and understand like wow it’s because is it or I’ll ask you is it because siblings in a scarcity industrial culture you know who they’re competing for the scraps of attention that come from parents were totally distracted and probably not happy and so just that Cascades down and there’s just it’s a big is the heart of it all there’s just this the scarcity of love and attention and affection that makes people have to go feel like there’s never going to be enough so you have to fight for what little you might get from your father and that becomes your you know this this this scrap fighting over scraps is at does that seem like where this is all coming from that’s so challenging to overcome with with a delight of Sisterhood movie it doesn’t it doesn’t really resonate with me this one I think I do see this a lot I also work with women’s groups and what I see is that you can also look at the evolutionary perspective of it which also means that women had to compete for a 40 alpha males right so maybe card is genetic I can imagine it part of Steel genetic you know where where we think we’re very far and evolution I’m very well developed in all kinds of ways but you know we still have to do is start animalistic brain and nervous system and hormone system analyst. So I think that’s there and also we are raised in a culture that is very much fear based on his very much Basin and security you know if she look at women’s magazines and fairy tales and pup star is so you know there is just this image that we all know a very skinny women you know of this this beauty models Beauty Perfection and perfect perfect Beauty image that we have created which is basically impossible it’s just way more interesting for commercial right if we think we lack if we think we’re not perfect then we at least by all these beauty products so I think we are being raised with lots of insecurity lots of competition comes from there you know even when girls are small I can already see it happening with my girls and their friends and definitely when I get older in high school like I very clearly remember my high school experience why I was the outcast as I said before like I was taller so I was pleased with that likes to and Ike you know I’m I am a curvy woman and at all so still when I walk into a room or if my man is looking at someone who is shorter and skinnier I immediately thinks she’s better if all sense and then competition has already started you know then there’s no vulnerability so we need to break those walls down every time we need to break Chinese rules of fair these walls of thinking we’re unlovable all of these things and yes of course how we were raised but I think this is not related so much to women just women you know we are all race with an addiction for love you know how do you get someone addicted by giving him something and taking it away from them and this is an experience pretty much every one of us has you know when you’re doing something right as a kid our parents will be like yeah well done amazing and as soon as we don’t clean up our toys behind us or walk the wrong way they’ll be like not this is not great but they take away the love and approval we will try our best and as censor ourselves and change yourself to fit in a mother of a child that receives most loved oh yeah that’s right there and especially we have siblings who may get more love in our perspective then that will happen to all of us have opening in our lives like previous relationships or whatever it is that contribute to this the sister who and what I see is working it is to really see each other and it’s so so what I want to do with this with this article is not create this vulnerability if I see other women as a danger as possible possibilities that take away the love that I have in my life right now the source is that love then I’m in competition and I don’t see them as human beings so one of the things I do is when my beloved that has a lover that he sees my office I want to meet her because then I can see her and see for myself and it sounds weird but I can see for myself that she’s a human being and not some some Dark Cloud that somewhere there but an actual human being and then we can talk and I can share my vulnerability and one of my teachers he always says be a walking permission slip so I’ll be her permission slip to be vulnerable with me I’ll be about our boat and that is magical like I still have some of my best friends some of my best female friends are actually ex-lovers of ex-partners and those relationships have stopped long time ago and we’re still best friends just men men come and go but women who are raising children but most importantly you’ve got to have solidarity really and that’s that’s beautiful to thank Chad text to the you can meet some of your best friends through after the pastor that has been replaced chicks before dicks in one of my friends likes my friendship with her over any Explorations I would like to have with him so she would be uncomfortable for whatever kind of reason I want him because you know that this is more important in that case then I said it wrong to really see each other and to communicate about it and maybe electron it is possible to you to have some experience is such a really do that too if I have I have an encounter with a man who has a relationship I always ask if I can contact her like even if it’s just a message on Facebook or something but just to tell her like a stank you thank you for your courage is sharing your man and this is who I am and I had a wonderful experience I’m very grateful yeah I am very much keen on creating a Sisterhood Bond so it’s not just me having a experiences with some man but really you know it’s more than that like open relaxing and polyamory is more than just experiences with another person in for me in my TV. That’s awesome and I’ll say I’ll just put it a word out there for the men who whose knees are shaking and White Knuckles turning white hearing all this stuff I got to say that the the I would say the most the most satisfying and nourishing moments of my life has been in addition to or even equal to what’s a sexual gratification with more multiples with multiple lovers it’s actually witnessing the harmony of women really safe and comfortable with each other and dancing together and and sharing that Vaughn and then I really see what’s missing and what’s been crushed and taken away and that is such a beautiful thing to behold that is so mesmerizing to see that and and I see how powerful is and it makes sense why the patriarchy would be afraid of that and want to crush it but to give me to I swear I have a partner in the lover and they say hello to each other and they give each other well men’s hug that’s just bringing tears to my eyes are so beautiful it’s not just the women in the 6:30 ghosts always so beautiful and so and all it takes is are you ready are helping myself out so yeah do you want I will wrap up I guess you want to talk about a bit about more of your Professional Services and how people can connect with you and what to look forward to in addition to this novel the Earth at your book that you’re going to be working at least I got my blog on exploring deeper. Come there is there are quite a few articles about call me I’m worried and I’ll monogamy and courage and fear and emotions and intimacy and relation yeah basically I’m fascinated by Intimacy in a full spectrum of it so not just sex but also cuddles a kink contra III love all of that and what I do is I offer workshops and mostly in the Netherlands but I must have traveling and willing to travel so in other European countries and I think I might come to America for the first time this year so I also work shelves from evenings two weekends to retrieve I give intimacy coaching so online like this way we’re doing right now or in real life hands on their people can come to me and if we talked with Elsa touch yeah basically that’s what I do and I sometimes bring people that I find super interesting to the Netherlands to help them produce workshops here as well and anything that comes to mind so yeah it’s it’s also about non-monogamy sometimes I’m at places and I do a lecture or I tell my experiences and yeah and body to experience a lot of what I do is not just talkin but creating a space irina’s create safe spaces for exploration so I pray it works out for you can explore and see the imprint of searching my experience is so that you can take that back into your life and it’s not just hopping from worship to Workshop but really changing your life yeah yeah and it goes from me I do kinky things from these things Centric things and everything in-between that sounds wonderful and thank you thank you thank you so much for being the wonderful glorious person as you are and yeah I’m looking forward to that more of your travels and Adventures and and exploring deeper. Calm and that so people can connect with you and in follow-up and yes I have any last words you want to say any wisdom you want to share and then we’ll call it interview you can easily find me there on Facebook if you remember my name is Luka Sophie and you can easily find me also on Facebook and on that all the channels that we have nowadays yeah so I’d say I don’t believe in any Paradigm or fixed shape of anything whether it’s sexuality or relationship or intimacy whatever our parenting your flavor of it you know it’s your flavor and it’s so beautiful to have the courage to go in words in Words before going out but you can never connect with anyone else cheaper than you can connect with yourself so Having the courage to go in with you to talk during it’s not easy on easy but it’s so so worth it it’s so worth it and relationships are a wonderful field of exploration and so beautiful I’d I really encourage everyone to to find their own voice into find during slavery and also when you found it it might change though it’s not me find it might change every day and please give yourself permission so you change your mind to change your way of living that you know this is the life we Scott let’s just you know I enjoy it as much as we can and share as much as we can beautiful alright well thank you again so much we will definitely be in touch of literature you’re very welcome I very much enjoyed talking with you take care of a great evening thank you thank you for listening to the podcast please go to www.drudgereport.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and improving the podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples Pepper Bike ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email fan at Tasha Punk. Com Thomas Day

 

Tantrisms 01: Radically Transparent Pick-up Line

Being a tantrika, I’m always considering the trade-offs of getting romantically involved with friends and strangers.  Sometimes I’m surprised at how and when I feel appropriately motivated to “make a move”.

One night recently, I woke up in the middle of the night and was struck by a Buddhic insight right in my crown chakra. My preference for pure-ish hearted, trustworthy, hard working, creative, driven, focused, etc. women has disqualified almost every would-be suitor I’ve been tempted to pursue. I had been holding out on “making a move” on one of my most dearly respected qualified leads. This flash of insight guided me to make the move and formally invite a romance beyond the friend zone.

My training in tantra has emboldened me to be very direct and not play manipulative games to consciously or unconsciously corner or coerce someone into a love and/or sex trap.

So here was my text:

“Would you be interested/available for a fun-games-only, non exclusive, low maintenance, month-to-month, true love affair with me? If so say yes and I’ll reply with love poetry, if not say no and I’ll be happy to remain friends with the same pre-established non erotic benefit of beholding your beauty with my eyes and not my hands…”

She was flattered, expressed openness and interest, but respectfully declined due to being committed to a monogamous relationship.

I’m proud to have taken this calculated risk. It took nothing away and only added a new dimension of respect and adoration, and affirmed respect and understanding of boundaries.

 

The Path of a Bisexual Tantric Rock Star with Robert Ozn TPP122

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Robert Ozn PicIn this episode I’m joined by the vibrant and charming Robert Ozn. He is one of my dearest bisexual allies in the modern tantra movement. We have similar visions of an inclusive non-binary pansexual tantric future where infinite diversity can be expressed and cherished within the fellowship of sex positive spiritual seekers. We learn about his outstanding career in the music and film industries, how he has explored and evolved his sexuality and relationship styles, and how he has been of service to the often still marginalized bisexual community.

Please visit him at at:
http://www.dadanada.com

Here is his current music bio:

After a 26-year absence, L.A. based DaDa NaDa’s comeback record Je Suis Paris/I Am Orlando, a tribute to victims of terror, hit #13 on the U.K.’s Music Week Dance Chart in October 2016. Released on his own label, DaDa Nada Records and featuring his huge, impassioned vocal range, Je Suis Paris/I Am Orlando, was a staple that fall on four Gaydio (U.K.’s largest Internet radio station) programs and a huge banger in LGBTQ & straight clubs alike. “I’m humbled that with so many odds against it – no corporate money or promo machine – the track made it. I call it The Little Record That Could.”

DaDa NaDa’s follow-up, We Can Feel It, written & produced by DaDa NaDa and Steve White, with its first set of mixes by House of Virus (House), Mntna (Deep House) and Middle Eastern, Number One iTunes sensation Aman (Pop Mix), releases in September 2017. The lyrics reflect the mystical, spiritual aspects of love – a theme which DaDa NaDa’s ardently explores as he is an out bisexual, living a polyamorous lifestyle and has been a devoted student of eastern religious practices for most of his life.

Impassioned about LGBTQ rights and BiPride, he was an honored participant in the Obama Administration’s 2016 White House Briefing on Bisexuality and stands as the Chairperson of the Los Angeles Bi Task Force. In June 2017, LA Pride’s #ResistMarch featured him in a video shown to over 100,000 protesters, a first for a Bi+ leader in that event’s 45 year history.

DaDa NaDa – solo moniker for Robert Ozn – was a former Broadway actor and the vocal half of New York, 80s synth-pop duo EBN/OZN, early pioneers of the now commonplace elements of music sampling and white rap, who are widely credited as making the first commercially released and charted record ever made on a computer (a Firelight C.M.I.) in the USA, the self-written and produced Top 20 Billboard Club Chart AEIOU Sometimes Y, produced in 1982/1983 (Elektra), remixed by John Luongo. Garnering accolades from critics and fans alike, AEIOU shot him into bona fide rock stardom.

After an MTV and Top 40 Billboard Dance Chart follow up, Bag Lady, whose video starred Emmy and Tony Award winner, Imogene Coca, plus a Top 20 College Chart hit album Feeling Cavalier, EBN/OZN disbanded.

Under the alias DaDa NaDa, he first broke the Billboard Top Five in 1989; with the Hip-House hit Haunted House, remixed by Chicago based Mike Hitman Wilson. According to MTV News, it was the first House record by a white artist to ever cross over to a commercial chart in the United States. “The 80s/early 90s were a magical window when the U.S. music business’ racial barriers blurred. It was an amazing, creative time.”

The follow-up, Deep Love, remixed by the Godfather of House Frankie Knuckles & David Morales and Bad Boy Bill also a Top Five Billboard smash, turned him into a darling of the American and U.K. music press with Music Week Magazine covering him in a feature entitled The Wizard of Ozn. The Knuckles/David Morales mix featured that same sensual DaDa NaDa baritone on We Can Feel It. “Frankie had been supporting my music in the early days when I did eccentric rap/spoken word and to have him push me as a singer gave me a new level of confidence. I’ll always be grateful.”

More hits followed, but things went very wrong during his US tour that year – a shooting interrupted his show in Chicago and he started feeling a break from music was in order. That break lasted 26 years – working in the Hollywood film industry as a script analyst for major directors and film companies, as well as writing and producing films. “When I returned to music last year, I had no idea how I’d be received. I have to admit, I was trepidatious. But people – audiences, DJs, PDs – have been amazing – so welcoming, so warm and most important, they’re playing my music. I feel like I’m coming home.”

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear beloved welcome to Township Punk podcast episode number 122 I’m being joined by Robert Rosen he is a top 5 billboard recording artist produced screenwriter Broadway actor tantric initiate and bisexual activist that amongst many other lovely and beautiful things that we met now it’s been almost that’s a couple years through the LA Tantra Meetup community and really hit it off on wanting to share a vision and kind of construct a Visionary and an archetype of a Vuitton trick Rockstar or a tantric Stage production stage show that could actually transmit the the shaktipat energy to the masses or to the the secrets which in the message and let there actually be a more intentionality and more education in and conducting of the sacred energy True Modern electronics and other forms of music and that’s just sort of been something that we cross paths in our in our music things and that’s just the tip of the iceberg cuz you’re going to really enjoy hearing his background he’s got some amazing really deeply profound accomplishments and Anna level of authority and experiences just mind-blowing so I am deeply honored to have a separate entity to have this this talk and then looking forward to it for a while so with that said Robert thank you so much for joining I can’t wait to take it away thanks so much for that intro been where do I I send you the check for that grade hype up job I’ll take Bitcoin Bitcoin pretty soon it’s the adult crypto-currency that you’re doing the show it’s funny I got interested in Chandra so many years ago when I was around 18 19 years old and I had such a difficult time trying to get any information that’s before the internet even existed in I am you know what go to spiritual bookstores and if I got lucky I’d find you know a translation of something like an ancient Tibetan or Hindu text but you know course I was just looking for the good pictures and keeping dammit and you know but over the years slowly slowly I started being able to find some kind of training and now it’s amazing to me to see how how much it’s you know begun to infiltrate infiltrate you know our Western society and you know I’m pleased to see it because it’s it gives people a different point of view on sharing energy and love between two human beings and and sex and you know I think the study of Tantra brings a lot of value to people’s lives so I’m I’m happy to see it’s beginning to Blossom I was in the Arts from the time I was a little little boy I I sang in the New York City Metropolitan Opera when I was 10 years old 11 years old I was in it for two seasons I sang I’m in the last opera of the old met which was I think it was in the 40s on the west side of New York City and and then I was in the first opera first performance of the new met in Lincoln Center my father told me my career was downhill from there text Dad but it was a pretty cool experience as a kid to do something like that you know first of all you got out of school to go to rehearsal so that was amazing when you were in junior high school but I I really just knew who I was and what I wanted to do and that was sing and I went I want to Music Conservatory Indiana University School of Music gets its world-renowned for its vocal program and I stayed there for two years and then I got a job singing for The Tonight Show band on the road so I left the conservatory when I was when I was 19 and Job Lots to my parents Chagrin but I was very happy I was working with Incredible Jazz musicians you know snooky young Doc Severinsen Lucha back in Buddy Rich Ed Shaughnessy these are people that had played with everybody from you know count bass D to Louis Armstrong much older guy and The Tonight Show job for jazz musicians was a prized job because they could they could record during the day and have a normal life so the competition was a huge for that gig so they would get the best jazz musicians really in North America I was such an honor to work with those guys it’s kind of an all of them really at my young age and so I told them for a while and then I got a job in the musical theater working with a guy named Zero mostel I don’t know if some of your listeners know who he is if any of your listeners are movie freaks they might know a movie called The Producers Gene Wilder and zero mostel it’s a hilarious movie and jaw so I did a Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum was 0 and again I was 19 and that was an experience of a lifetime working with someone that old and that experience and that much of a genius on stage was completely outrageous if an audience member was late he would literally shout out as loud as he could stop the show stop the show Turn On The Lights someone’s late Excuse Me Miss you do realize you’re late then you should start asking the audience what time it was and I mean this was Theodore this was not a stand-up thing you know these poor people would be so embarrassed it was it was a real learning experience and I did that for oh I don’t know maybe five months on the road and John and then I got my first Broadway show and you know that was a dream come true for me to have a part in a Broadway show and that’s when I first had an experience of trying to lead an alternative lifestyle I had a girlfriend at the time and then I met a woman in the show I was so very young I was 20 21 and time she was in an open relationship she was older than me and I thought that sounded very logical to me and I wanted to explore that so this was back in the day before the book The ethical slut was written before polyamory was a word it was just cold open relationships back then no one knew what they were doing you know we all hurt each other’s feelings terribly we didn’t have a clue how to structure anything so it was kind of a disaster really but I lived that life stuff for pretty long time add you know in my naivete and and lack of knowledge I tried to make it work and I really couldn’t so I gave up on that and also around the same time I realized I was bisexual and this was before AIDS so in the era of David Bowie and Mick Jagger and glam-rock being bisexual was very cool it was like oh I don’t know nowadays like going to the right coffee shop it was considered a bold thing to be into Explorer and there wasn’t really a stigma attached to it at least not in you know the big International cities like Paris or London or New York and I lived in New York and you know I was in the entertainment business so it was you know very well accepted my LED I let a bisexual lifestyle really all the way up until about the mid-80s and I never was romantically attracted to men just sexually but I was both romantically and sexually attracted to women switch didn’t really confuse me maybe a bit but I was pretty cool with it I didn’t really think much about I just accepted it as a fact but then aged came along and overnight the world changed it was no longer cool to be bisexual it was decidedly uncool to be a male bisexual people right away assumed that you might be carrying an illness and I won’t say I went in the closet but it was not information I volunteered if I was asked you know I would State my identity but I definitely down plated and I tried monogamy again and I was in a marriage that lasted quite a long time about 10 years and I was monogamous in my marriage I I didn’t cheat I’m in my marriage end you know when it fell apart of course things changed but that was I thought me being honorable you know being a man that’s stuck to his word and I look back on it and go I wonder if we would have perhaps broken up sooner in a more healthy fashion or perhaps even had a healthy relationship if we not been monogamous because we were so driven to codependents that and it wasn’t it wasn’t a healthy situation Angela I don’t think the monogamy really helped anyting frankly beautiful and I passed the test if you will if it if the test is called can you keep your word but but it didn’t support it didn’t support a healthy rapport which is what it’s what it’s meant to do you know so in the mid-eighties I I transitioned out of the musical theater I I was in another Broadway show I was in another very big chore and Karla DeVito if people remember meatloaf love on the dashboard she was the singer for meatloaf you know that you’re does incredible duets with him and so I was in Pirates of Penzance with her she’s an amazing talent that that woman can sing anything really Phantom that was great fun for me because I was classically trained but from the time I became a professional in my chains I never got to use my classical training I was either singing musical theater or pop music or jazz music and I finally got to some classical and I I loved it was great fun our producer was a man an Infamous man in the American Theater World cold John Kenley who was a rumored hermaphrodite and Mr Kenley as he was called you had to call him mr. Kenley dress like a man in the summer in a woman in the winter and lived in a middle-sized city in Ohio it might have been Akron or Dayton or someplace like that and this man lived like this through the 60 seventies eighties nineties I mean he was a character and a bold courageous human being tube to do that back then and get away with it and remarkable theater producer and I was a punk rocker in a classical in a Gilbert and Sullivan light opera he knew who Karla DeVito was and I replace Robby Benson who got a movie so he didn’t know who I was I was hired at the last minute and I walked in the door and when he saw me in all this punk rock stuff with earrings at eyeshadow and you know dyed white blond hair and you know I look pretty tough he said oh my God who’s that they said Willits it’s your Henry what that that that punk yes mr. Kenley yes that that waiting to hear him sing he’s he’s really quite good oh my God thank God he’ll be in costume thank God he’ll be in a costume we can’t have already in Sissy That the varsi hersel eye Saginaw area and I hear this voice in the back of the house how can you sing like that and look like that well it was just he just couldn’t get his head around it you know that I look like Johnny Rotten and I say what is Sid Vicious did my way and he sounded like a real pet rainbow coo his right exactly really he just he could not get his head around it at all it was pretty hilarious end so let’s see where am I so I eventually made a transition into the music business because I was I was not happy in the musical theater the musical theater back then was in a in a rough place it a lot of the traditional musical theater writers were trying to write 1950s early 1960s style shows and they really did not interest me I mean Oklahoma and Guys and Dolls I mean those things are chestnuts they’re amazing their masterpieces but you know they were written in the 1950s or 40s and I just felt like in the 80s why wasn’t somebody trying to write you know new sounds and you know there were a few I’m not saying there were none there were there were a few but they were very few and far between and the producers and the critics were very scared to pop music the critics turn their nose up at top music they were very snobbish about it but ultimately completely out of touch with what was happening culturally in America anthem so I went into the music business because I wanted to you know stand or fall on my own creation you know not be just an actor interpreting somebody else’s work and also subject to a director’s vision cuz if the director’s Vision was fantastic well then you were in luck you know you got to ride the wave of someone’s phenomenal Vision but if his vision was not up to par then you were in deep shit because you had to reflect is Concepts his interpretation of characters is a picture of what you should do and if it didn’t work will then you were really screwed and I didn’t both you know I’d been in I’d work with terrific people and horrid people and I just said you know I’d rather take the risk myself because the whole thing’s a crapshoot anyway so I started writing my own music and you’ll get a kick out of this the first song I ever wrote and recorded was a hip-hop while it was a rap song it was before Hip Hop was hip hop it was just gold rap music then and was probably the only white person I knew that was trying to shop a rap tape to record companies in 1980 and you know I think there’s a cassette tape somewhere I’ve got to find that I got to find that it would look at me like I was out of my fucking my they would go it’s a what it’s really good and it really was good it was kind of a funny rap song and end the record company’s first of all back then they didn’t get rap at all they all thought it was what’s called novelty music meaning something eccentric and offbeat that ended their view isn’t quote real music and they thought it would be short-lived in a little did they know and this was even R&B Departments of the major labels not you know not just the rock Apartments I’m so the only people putting out rap music in the early 80s and even into the mid-eighties was Indie labels hip-hop labels and of course they had the last laugh on everybody because you know they went Mega platinum and then the majors had to come around but nobody wanted to hear rap records for me so I meant a computer freak named Ned leaving it would build his first recording studio when he was 14 he was you know nowadays A Nerd back then if the word existed it wasn’t complimentary it was derogatory and you know the world’s changed which is great and he was a total Tech geek and a brilliant musician so by the time he was 19 or 20 he had a functioning for rent professional recording studio in New York you know the Talking Heads work there The Ramones work there you know he he really had great Studio chops can I have this crazy rap record and a mutual friend introduced us because Ned was working in music that sounded kind of like Kraftwerk and the only people that even did anything remotely like that in the United States where New York hip-hop people I’m sampling stuff and yes this is before sampling it’s when it first started anti why does a DJ named Africa Bambaataa who likes Kraftwerk and he’s kind of credited with bringing Kraftwerk to the hip-hop world and he he did a record called Planet Rock which had a very German techno influence to it was a huge huge RAF record all around the world and so I played in my rap record and he played me this track and I went I really like that and I just started ripping this story in a kind of rap spoken word staying over the track and he really liked it and it became our first record and it was cold aeiou sometimes y and it was the story was a true story about me meeting a Swedish girl having a cappuccino and Lincoln Center and I started talking to her and we became lovers and it was a story of how we met and what happened that day and and the theme of it was about how difficult real communication is with people how it’s so impossible to really communicate with anybody and it wind up being a huge MTV record and it was signed by a major label so at that moment I was considered a rap artist even though as the years went by nowadays you might not call that a rap record you might call it more spoken word record but back then it was considered a rap record and Hip-Hop didn’t come into being for another couple years and that was an amazing experience of course you know being a rockstar like who who could ever imagine that actually happens to anybody it was such a freak out man it happened so fast then we didn’t even have a name for the ACT we made this crazy record when we played it for record Executives they either fucking hated it I mean hate it but they would turn it off in the middle they would just say I mean we’ve did we hear things like I don’t get it literally just like I don’t get it or not for me or they would say oh my God that’s amazing but my boss won’t like it like they get too scared cuz it was so left field but this well-known impresario named oh God is named went right out of my head for a second it’ll come back anyway this well-known Liv promoter New York and see me in a small movie and said to me hey if you ever need any help in the music business I will help you I think you’re great and I was like oh I was like wow that’s so nice I might take you up on it one day so perhaps it was two years later I called him and said remember me and God bless this guy he did and he said okay I’ll help you and he gave it to somebody who gave it to the new chairman of the board of election records and dumb we get a phone call the guy thinks you your records gray and we were so excited really you say he’s got a reputation for liking crazy left-field shit he’s the guy that signed Devo wow so he’s going to like your stuff and I was like okay so we go in there with this lawyer we barely knew and he was representing us this guy we walk in and it was right out of a movie he’s standing on his desk with our record Turned Up full blast up to 10 and he’s dancing to it I love this fucking record man oh my God man that you know and he’s like singing along with the car is and he’s doing all these corny dance moves and I mean we’re looking at each other is he on something is he not on something like what are we supposed to do and the lawyer smirks it us would like the cat that ate the canary kind of smirk I realized that mine the lawyers letting us know you have a deal I mean I I just saw into space you know I could see it and never looked at me and smiled was like holy shit that did this is going to be a record deal meeting and he keeps the thing finishes tells us to sit down and he’s got all this really expensive art around the office he I found out later he was a very well-known art collector and I mean sculptures Pottery you know oil paintings it was really quite something and he starts to tell us how much he likes it and he asked us our plans and in the room he gives us a record deal then he gives us a video deal and at this point the lawyers like what okay I mean he lost his guys of being you know the cynical hard as he started getting shocked well and just a CEO’s name is Bob krasnoo he says to the lawyer and I’m going to give him an album deal and the lawyer exclaims on only one song like that Eagles on only one song and His Hands fly up in the air and he knocks over this really told Vaz that was on a pedestal must have been a four foot high bars he knocks it over the floor and it shatters and Bob Kraft no space goes white I’m the lawyer goes oh oh oh don’t worry Bob I’ll pay for that and cries and goes I don’t think so it goes no no no I’m good for my word I’ll pay for it he goes he goes what what is it what is it he goes That’s a Ming Dynasty vase that’s probably worth 165 Grand to go White Knuckles and Eliza flowers a Believer because if you’re going to it’s going to come out of your dog and he paid for by the deal by the the revenue generated from the boy you learn fast then it is the music business at least the old music business so then we go back to the guy’s office and he goes you need a name cuz we don’t even have a name and his name was Ned leben and my name was Robert Rosen and Eagles I don’t know the lawyers like I don’t know we’ve been Rosen and we go now we can’t do that man that sounds like a podiatrist office you know enough she goes yeah yeah I guess you’re right and we sit there we got listen list of shit we meet with them every time I’m even the Muse like bugging us about the name then finally one day Ned goes why don’t we drop the first letters of our last names solymon Rosen becomes even ozan and then will spell it weird and take out some vowels I went I don’t know that’s kind of weird. Come on man, he won’t give up on you and then now cut to like two weeks later and the lawyers got the contracts and there’s the special document in the contract in record deals where you have to guarantee you are the artist name and you’re signing the artist name distribution rights to the record label for. Of time but the thing is blank cuz there’s no name in The Wire goes guys you got to give me a name sonesse I can come on come on even I wasn’t even knows I go okay alright alright even I wasn’t even though I wasn’t so leben Roseanne l i b e n r o s e n became ebn Eben ozen ozn and that’s what it was so put out the record and the video was truly a hit it was just one of those cool things it just kind of made it on its own you know and so we started getting all these press interviews ever on MTV one day and they’re interviewing us and they do kind of like what we’re doing here you know they they talk to you for quite a long time but because of their format they only pull out little 10-second snip and then maybe you know they might pull out to 10 seconds 330 seconds and then maybe they’d have like a couple of 3-minute sequences and they play them at different times during the day you know and so they said where did Eva Nelson come from and I told him the truth I said well it’s really leaving Rosen but we were scared it would sound like a podiatrist office and the woman who was the MTV interview her name was Martha Quinn she crap cracked up on camera she started laughing so of course during all the interview were talking about all the technical stuff for the music all the Soulful stuff for the lyrics all our intellectual Concepts about flawed communication and human interaction what did they use over and over that use me being a wise guy going it sounds like a podiatrist so the chairman of the board season MTV and he gets Furious and he sends out a memo to the entire record company including us and the lawyer and says from now on no fresh or any publicly distributed material will refer to even those in as Ned leaving in Robert Rosen it is even has him and he calls us up if he goes what’s wrong with you guys you guys are sex symbols you can make jokes like that you’re going to ruin your image okay man so we could only be called that so the name stuck so we were even us from then on and I that reminds me of the Bible that talk about change the name to Ritchie Valens yes yes that’s right yeah so we turned out we didn’t realize it at the time but we had made the first record ever made on a computer in the United States that was released commercially we knew we were cutting edge but we didn’t realize we were that far ahead of everybody else it was made on a fairlight CMI which was a music sampler and they were incredibly expensive machines you know they ran in the tens of thousands if not hundreds of thousands of dollars and only may be just a few years later roll and started putting out samples that were like five thousand bucks and that changed everything and then sampling became very popular but up until then it wasn’t popular cuz it was too expensive and too complicated but we used to make our own samples and it wasn’t something you know there was no such thing as a library now you buy it you can buy a library of sounds so we would literally if we wanted a percussion sound we might take go into the kitchen and take two pans and bang them together and then he Q it differently and stuff like that you know or if you wanted to sound like a human voice I stand in front of a microphone ago and you know weed mess with the Saturn make it sound Erie or Bazaar and it was incredibly time-consuming you know it would take you could take hours to make one sound especially drum sounds they were very hard to do you had a sample them from real drums and you know you had to have a great engineer who knew how to make the drum and you know but there was a revolution after that when people started having sample libraries but you know we really were ahead of the pack and the other people who had done it probably the first in the world was Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush gave me to record on a computer a year before us and England I can’t remember the name of it but it was also one of fairlight CMI Peter Deb was Peter Gabriel’s favorite instrument to work with and so we you know we really Pioneer Dwight rap and and computer sampling I don’t know really early time and I was trying to be it was very strange been I live this crazy like Rock and Roll Lifestyle but I had this deep desire to be quote normal because I had such a fucked up childhood so I really wanted to have a you know monogamous relationship in I would say Do The Artsy Bohemian version of the white picket fence and I had this image in my head that I’d be happy doing that and you know I really did try to do that and it was it it just was very unhappy time for me cuz it was not something I was I was going to say wasn’t cut out for I don’t know that that’s the way to say it I was a square peg in a round hole you know and I didn’t realize that in order to be true to myself I had to find a relationship structure that fit me I kept doing it backwards and trying to fit me into a relationship structure and I think that’s the biggest mistake people make in relationships and in love and sex that we’re all brainwashed we’re all brought up a certain way to believe relation does a correct way to do it is the right way to do it and the right way is pretty much it’s pretty much one way and the only difference might be extremely conservative fundamentalist religions have one picture of this right way and more Progressive liberal open-minded people have a different version of it but it’s still the right way it’s still a traditional monogamous way and dumb I think for tens hundreds of millions of people they I’ve never even understood that there’s actually an alternative option to that an end that alternative option use whatever works for you and it’s whatever works for your partner or Partners that’s the relationship that works and trying to force yourselves into a structure that’s untenable for you emotionally personality-wise logistically you know a myriad of ways is a very sad thing and you know horrible divorce rates and unhappy marriages and so I got divorced and I I had put out my my synth-pop Duo even knows and broke up I kept working in dance music cuz I love dance music and I started making house music in the late 80s and I was what I guess you might call the second wave of house if the first way was in the mid-eighties real real Underground anybody was listening Who would know Frankie Knuckles and people like that or Dwayne in the mix Mike Hickman Wilson Bad Boy Bill. These are all guys from like Chicago and Detroit they were kind of the Vanguard of this whole thing and I got into it in the late 80s but ice but I approached it not from a as a DJ which is what these guys were I approached it like a songwriter so I was writing house songs that became house records and come can we be so what cause can we get zoom in a bit on the the even odds and break up what could have brought down such a meteoric rise I mean I know what happens actually it’s kind of quite common that successful put too much strain on interpersonal relationships but I’m just curious if there’s a you know any notes about that teaching points I think what caused it was the terrible pressures put on people that are very young with big success so fast and the pressure is caused by huge corporate machines I mean these are international corporate machines that you’re dealing with and I am not blaming them at all I really mean that I don’t it’s just it goes hand-in-hand I mean you’re a product you’re a product at the machine needs to be fed add job I think it was something I certainly didn’t understand I think even understood it better than I did but I didn’t quite get I didn’t get the macro of what was going on and so I think the pressure got to us we had personal falling outs and unfortunately we had representation who wasn’t able to kind of referee us and keep us together and that’s really what good managers need to do when bands go through that because all bands go through it it’s a given and experienced managers know how to keep the band together you know and we didn’t have that well and I think both even and I years later realize that it didn’t have to I didn’t have to break up and you know he died very young which is very sad and if he’d not passed away so young I think even and I would have worked together again and dumb it was a great creative collaboration I I truly miss it it was really magical well well thanks for you have putting in that extra bitter I feel like a did life coaches are a big thing but 6s therapist it sounds like are equally is not more important to sustain success once it comes as I think too that I think there’s certain pitfalls that are unique to Young recording artist there’s just some really predictable potholes that you’re going to step in and you know hopefully the people that are around them can guide them around the potholes but you know the tabloids make a lot of money watching them fall into the bottom hose Ray you know yeah that’s too bad do you care if Justin I’m not to take it too far track right now but I’m just curious what is a lot of what you’re saying that’s good for civil potholes at that have a lot of it has to do with aspects of carving up the ownership rights and just the equitability of the resources coming in and who’s the front person and who’s sort of in the shadows and the song writing credits and stuff the Eagles absolutely all of the above I mean some of that we were able to work out ourselves anyway but that that’s the kind of thing that can happen in bands songwriting credits who gets paid what who’s who’s in the spotlight who’s not all that you know and some bands survive that that process and some bands don’t you know you look at a band like U2 and they’ve been around for you know decades now and I’m sure they went through it but they have somehow survived it and I think one of the ways you two survived it as they present themselves like a band you know Banos the front man but they the way they’re promoted is it’s always promoted like a band and and I think that’s imperative you know same thing with the Rolling Stones you know it’s always promoted like a band not Mick Jagger you know or Keith Richards cool so yeah yeah yeah if you want to keep going along a timeline this is riveting and I’m really enjoying just makes me feel nostalgic for the 80s I started having a success as a house artist and the mid-eighties in New York was a time of where the race is all mixed together in the studios it was a very magical time in London and New York there was something called new music or art art rock new music they called it nowadays the class of I even I was in his new wave and that’s not accurate we were Post New Wave but this new music staff was very dance-oriented for the most part end up it was a lot of a lot of integration of different styles of stuff going on at the same time and the music business used to go through that it would it would get very categorized and the categories would become very hard with really hard boundaries and then it would become kind of corporate music and it would get played to death and finally the audiences would get so sick of it the whole thing would collapse and something new would have to break through and job so this was a time when something new was breaking through and it was it was just it was exciting you know to be in to be in a room where you know you might have you know a black guy playing keyboards in a Jewish guy playing the bass and you know a Latino guy playing a guitar you know if it all the stereotypes would just be an all moved around but by the late 80s that kind of went away again except for Prince end up I was working in house music which was really very much at that time ghetto underground ghetto thing you know in Chicago Detroit and then later New York so the guys I was working with they told me not even to put my picture on my records They said don’t do that people will resent it and dumb so I didn’t and I was working in a style called hip house which was rap verses and Son courses and I did that for a while and sound really good success doing it and I and I loved the style and and I charted and charted very high on the Billboard charts in the United States and I had my own little label and I couldn’t get a record deal I couldn’t get arrested and cuz they didn’t understand what I was doing you know they look at me like huh rap versus some courses your white like what the fuck did they just couldn’t get it and so I put it out on my own record label and strangely enough I was ashamed that I had a record label no one had a record label back then you know that was before the big hip hop entrepreneurs like P Diddy and Jay-Z in those guys you know dr. Dre so I kept it a secret and dumb I didn’t tell anybody it’s got home though it was considered which is the showing your class or something to to be independent or you would have figured if people knew I own the label they thought I was a failure so that was before it wasn’t fashionable or is it wasn’t fashionable but it was also I think that showed a function of my own you know self-doubt and shame instead of being proud of it and embracing it you know I kept it in my closet and dumb probably only five people in the whole world knew that I own that label and up I exported to Europe and I had a pretty decent export business and I charted in the UK also add you know when I got I was kind of a darling of the UK music press endom you know I was having a final time and I really was feeling creatively very happy and I went on tour and then when I was in Chicago someone got shot in one of my shows it really had a big effect on me I was on stage and I thought I was bombing the house started emptying out and it’s a pretty weird feeling and I maybe got a thousand people in a club or 1200 people and your singing and it starts to empty out and you go oh my God I suck I’m bombing they’re leaving the room and I’m looking at my dancers and my dancers are frowning like what’s going on in when the show is over in that the lights went off this big cop grabs many pills me backstage and I go what’s going on what’s going on and he goes somebody was shot during your show. Oh my God is he alright because I don’t know and I said why did you let me keep singing and it goes always thought it would be good like to help people not panic and get out okay Isis flying so somebody shooting a gun in the room but you left me standing on stage I really appreciate that end so that must have been I don’t know member 91 maybe 90 something like that and so that was the last time I ever performed live endom wow yeah and Deb so then I started becoming a I wanted to I just got burned out I I just went by you know I don’t want to do this anymore and in retrospect what I needed was a break I should have just taken a break for 6 months or a year and just you know just giving myself some distance but what I did was I left I left the music business completely I stop writing music I stop singing and I wanted to do something what I said something adults would do I said I I can’t be a teenager my whole life I got to do something an adult would do so what did I do I went into the movie business haha for adults it’s just the music business or the middle school kids in the movie business people at the high school children trust me so I was creatively very interesting at first because I got trained on the literary side of the movie business which I found quite fascinating and I was very compelled and engaged and really really enjoyed analyzing scripts and I got a job working for Oliver Stone as a script analyst and I work for him for free for the first I don’t remember how many months it was quite a while and I was what was what’s called in Hollywood a script reader I would read submissions and then I would write him up and recommend whether they should be purchased or not and then I’m course I wasn’t the be-all end-all decision you know somebody above me then would read it you know I can and are then huh for film scripts that that’s a good way to put it that that’s exactly what it was right Anthem and I really liked it and I did it for a few years and I read a lot of scripts and I read a lot of books and I really learned what makes a good script and I also learned the the unfortunate truth of why something selling some things don’t and it doesn’t always have to do with the quality of the writing in the quality of the script many times it has to do with marketing decisions so you know sometimes a very fine script was passed over and a mediocre script was purchased but it’s because they felt they could Market it that’s just the way it is because it is a business ultimately anthem it was a great education I worked for him I work for a big agency called CAA creative artists I read for them for a couple years I work for James Cameron’s company Sydney Pollux company and then I work from Miramax for a long time and they weren’t Art House really really wonderful Art House film company I work there in their Heyday in the you know early mid 90s and that was a great experience I learned a lot and I read a lot of material and I also get something called notes where you give your opinion for whatever that’s worth on how to make something better and John eventually I just started writing my own scripts and I work with this guy named Colin green who now is a vice president at Sony films and we you don’t rub material that’s all you know we sold something to Paramount which should not get made it was a big budget science fiction movie and then we sold a spec script about a human rights investigation it was called Gods witness but they changed it to eyewitness and it had Jeff Daniels James Spader and Portia de Rossi in it endom I sold another script to the Syfy channel was a science fiction movie and what else did I do oh I worked on a documentary that was very dear to my heart it wasn’t my idea I was just like a Hired Gun I help produce it but it was about a a British war hero in World War II who were the time of the documentary was 96 years old and he came out as bisexual when he was 85 85 amazing he wrote an autobiography and it came out in his autobiography was a fascinating guy his father was the was the lawyer to King George during World War II he had this fantasy childhood you know being brought up around the Royal Family he was a you know a true aristocrat and that he meant he was a foreign correspondent when he was a young man he met Hitler twice he was a Nazi sympathizer in his youth as a lot of the British aristocracy wear in the 30s and then on a tour of a concentration camp which he was told was a labor camp and a rehabilitation camp this is before the war has started officer giving them the tour accidentally opened the wrong door and they saw a man being tortured and at that moment he realized that you know he been believing lies about Hitler that he just kind of drink the Kool-Aid as at work and he realize that the opposition has been telling the truth the whole time and he became very much an anti-nazi and he joined the army and then was in a very famous suicide mission call the Battle of Saint nazaire where they try to blow up a huge navy dock Adam the guy little fascinating life he met Churchill multiple times you met the king multiple times he met FDR he met Stalin then he became a foreign correspondent for the London times after the war and covered all the Civil Wars going on around Europe after World War II just fascinating man and you know of course I was interested in him not just for his military history and his literary history but also the fact that he was bisexual I thought that was so interesting anthem you know he had already had a rough time with it he really did it was you know in the upper classes it was accepted kind of with a wink like no one would out-and-out be prejudiced against you it was very much kind of a don’t ask don’t tell mentality and it was the same thing in the Army to you just didn’t talk about it but no one would say anything and then later on you got married to a woman stayed married to her till she died solar I did that thing for a long time I stayed in the film industry for a long time I was married again my wife had two children from prior marriage I became a dad which I loved and in that instance monogamy did support the marriage it was something that fit it worked while the marriage was working Anthem and then the marriage started falling apart and dab I don’t know if we had been non-monogamous how that would have affected it I don’t know that it would have changed anything the the parameters just were no good anymore but after that marriage and then relationship I had with a woman for about a year-and-a-half after that I just went I can’t keep putting this square peg into a round hole I just can’t do this anymore and job I decided that I was going to lead a polyamorous lifestyle Android I’m very happy I did Android when I realized it being bisexual and that was unusual I didn’t know it was unusual because I didn’t have any touch with the community you know you are still holy solo I was totally solo like many bisexuals are which is something I learned later especially men especially men bad I decided that I was going to try to help people because so many bisexual men are suffering millions and millions and millions and they suffer in silence because there is no community of any kind really to reach out to lesbians and gays have a very strong community in the United States would bisexuals have had a very elusive Community for years very very difficult to find and it’s very small and very disorganized and it’s only been in the past few years that it’s gotten bigger and stronger and more what’s the word higher-profile what is stereotype about how you’re not you’re not enough of one or the other orientation so you’re considered a traitor to both that’s right that’s right and the older you are the more you’ve confronted that like the really young Millennials like the 22 year old kids in the 17 year old kids they don’t have that at least the ones I’ve talked to you know they don’t they don’t seem to have that problem thrown at them or if they do they have a lot of support around them to tell them that it’s not so at least in the big cities let me qualify that but my generation if you said you were by they went out he’s really gay they just can’t admit it or he was in transition from being hetero to homo and somehow he got stuck in the transition and he never completed it is neurotic is fucked up because as we all know there’s no such thing as bisexuality that was a big thing there’s no such and there’s even major you know dating and sex advice people in the current Electronic media who still talk like that which I find very disconcerting and very upsetting and it’s very damaging to people’s mental health I mean we’re talking about something that people commit suicide over I mean sexual identity is a serious serious business if you’re if you accept it and you take it light will it it’s not a serious business for you at all God bless you you’re very lucky human being but there are many people who don’t accept it or are confused by it or are bullied by it or criticized or literally lose their entire family over it you know it’s just it’s it’s it’s a volatile volatile subject and for people to criticize bisexuals for identifying that way is so wrong and it borders on criminal you know and I feel very strongly about and that’s why I became an activist because I really wanted to fight that so but thank you so much for that yet do you want it we’ve we can go another few minutes now and then I think this is just the beginning of its going to have to be a series of really breaking all this stuff down because now it gets interesting how you been able to I mean it’s been interesting it’s such a journey man I just had no idea how deeply you’ve been able to percolate into all these different facets of the industry is in and now I’m just super excited to see how you were leveraging your your passions with me on the influence that you have in the you-know-what what the hell the flavor of your activism has coming up with art and all that stuff so if that would be a whole nother yeah whole nother show so but do you want to just start that just kind of introduced that aspect and then we’ll do a cliffhanger 2016 you know there was a lot of terrorism going on in Paris where the year before they had killed the cartoonists and writers at Charlie hebdo magazine they killed you know the audience at the bataclan Rock Club you know people at the soccer stadium and then of course Orlando happened and I was so upset that I made my first record in 26 years and it was fashioned after the viral catchphrase just sweep how he I am Paris and I am Orlando and I made a record and it just had a life of its own and it became a dancing in England it went to number 13 on the British dance charts and I got to combine my you know LGBT activism with my music and Men I couldn’t think of a better thing to happen you know it was great it was a very powerful time for me and so now I’m making another record and I’m hoping that I can make a a video that references Tantra in the video that goes along with the record that’s what I’m looking to do at least all right let’s talk about that what do you have in mind what’s your your vision so far the song has a lot of mysterious spiritual sexual references in it and so visually I see you know couples in you know making love via Tantra as a great visual representation for the song and that’s something I’d like to do and I don’t have any more of a concept with it then that more than that yet that’s a good place to start thanks thanks man so what are you do you have for is the track are the tracks or the main track bets what’s the the the roll out with that the lunch what is the name of the song it’s done I’ve got a variety of mixes done the very last mixes will probably be finished tomorrow it’s called we can feel it and I’ll probably start pre-release publicity in a week to 10 days I’ll start the pr and then I’ll release it in England in about 6 weeks I think now I’m so stoked so then this is kind of a teaser will definitely have to at the time of it being publicly available regroup and we can we’ll have more time we can go into more of these juicy topics and have something to share with the audience it so I can spare a fresh cut all right thanks man I appreciate your time and I hope your audience some enjoy it yeah this is exciting so I mean whenever we we met up and and talked and relief Vibe I mean the the need for at least within the the modern Neo Tantra and movement for there to be more role-modeling of pansexual and non heteronormative in non non dual non-binary configurations and I’ve actually found a good guy in the UK who we did interview with while a while back and he’s kind of holding it down for the gay Tantra and bisexual Tantra movement really holding space for that training in that world and really bringing the teachings to really find a home in in just break break out of that stereotype where that that limited limiting belief system that there has to be a biological male and female partner in a Partners II to create the alchemical union but there’s actually the potential to mix the energies and resolve duality in to become one really by the intention of running the energies is very well I guess you could say well ultimately we be good as such as it is such an androgynous experience to be altered to be shifting between receiving and giving an alternating taking turns and basically volleying the orgasmic energy you really lose sense of all personality ego and go so deep into the body that you actually become part of the cosmic body which is non gender or so so ineffable that you can’t really like identify it by what is genitals look like so that’s the point I mean the ultimate unity of of love to get to that point so you know it’s a yeah yeah I’m excited to be a part of anything work with anyone who is bringing more of this beautiful Consciousness and Technology to people who would who have a 5 talk to people after me to say why I didn’t think I could do that cuz I’m gay and I need a woman or a conversation but that’s kind of what yeah we’re like to get specially now that if you’re going to be doing this country themed video then next time we will talk when you’re ready to launch that we can really talk more about them is your experiences sexually and and spiritually in and all of that good stuff so the spirituality of Tantra because many people don’t know that that’s what it’s about they think of Tantra as a how to have better sex education you know or how to have better sex tool or procedure not that it is not that yes of course that exists in it you know yes there’s different positions techniques and things like that that’s absolutely there but that’s not the ultimate goal of Tantra and the transmutation of sexual energy into love into spiritual energy into the experience of a union between two people which then heightens the experience so you get to feel a union with the Divine is the ultimate experience of Tantra and I’m so glad you referenced it because that’s so absent from the North American Tantra conversation you know so and I know you been cuz you and I have talked about it so many times I know how much it’s a part of your Consciousness you know and I’m so glad it is part of your Consciousness cuz you know you’re putting it out there to people cuz there’s a lot of charlatans out there who don’t talk about it so good on you thank you yeah I consider myself a mama’s boy got his worshiper of kind of a spiritual mama’s boy so she’s got me on a strict orders to be of service and so all right once you get there far out enough and you make the contracts with with Divine forces then it’s it’s a I guess I would say it’s a beautiful responsibility to hold a higher vibration in a higher sort of them Integrity level and accountability accountability to something so deep and ancient and Beyond even this realm I feel like I’m a delegate of something far beyond just being a dude who can go and fuck people and take your money if I really want to and just take advantage of people who have a lower IQ or whatever or whatever the that’s kind of you know that wolfen or the the fox in The Henhouse Tantra man a true thing is is just a well I’ve got the secret to your Enlightenment and it’s in my pants and I can chart you know you can pay me for it and just this really twisted Gigolo I’m going down that was the ultimate abusive the ability to trick people with parlor tricks if Township magic and yeah you know anyway so we can work it will get into the higher Road in the The Good the light side of the force type of thing will get a hold of you now or what should they be signing up mailing list the email website anything they can, that’s like Daddy nothing. Ade Ada NADA like nothing NADA. Calm and if you click on contact they can send me stuff okay cool awesome well and you know I’m going to embed the YouTube video of your classic genre-defining Smash Hit it’s a real you everyone will remember that this is a part of their psychological as you know it’s somebody pinch me this is not happening this is lazy and retroactive Starstruck right now that’s cute, we’ll have a great night have a good to do this and we’ll be in touch soon and congrats on everything and looking forward to next time. Young Brother you take care of all right if you take care of you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples after bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episode if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com

Solving Slutty Girl Problems with Lorrae Bradbury TPP102

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Lorrae Bradbury PicIn this episode I’m joined by the illustrious sex blogger Lorrae Bradbury of Slutty Girl Problems. She shares her story of finding empowerment and support for her lifestyle of sexploration using social media platforms, a strategy that eventually led to her building successful sex blogging enterprise. We discuss many dimensions of cultural evolution around sexuality, love and relationships. She offers a vast array of practical tools and life hacks that help sexually adventurous folks break free from shame, ignorance, jealousy, boredom, and more.

Please check out her website at:
http://sluttygirlproblems.com/

About Lorrae:

Lorrae Bradbury is the founder of Slutty Girl Problems, a website and brand empowering women to embrace their sexuality, without shame. She’s a also a writer, pug-cuddler, wanderlust-er, and festival hopper. Follow her adventures on Twitter and Instagram: @Lorraejo.

AI Generated Transcription:
(Want to help with corrections? Please contact me to learn about rewards for your efforts!)

Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello Darrell Evans welcome to Tantra Punk podcast episode number 102 I’m here on Skype with Laura Bradbury the founder of sluttygirlproblems, which is an amazing sex blog and then I got to say I thought I knew a lot about sex and sexuality and all those the interplay in the modern world and I looked at her website and I seriously feel like I’ve been living under a rock so check it out and see what you’re missing and I hope we’re going to get a lot of new insight and fresh perspectives all from Luray now if you want to tell us about your background and how you became a sexuality thought leader after having me and I’ve always had an interest in sexuality as growing up I’ve always been curious about it and both professionally and personally wanted to learn how people thought about sexuality and thought I was in college I studied psychology and women’s studies and really wanted to focus on how young women are socialized to think about our sexuality we’re bombarded with so many different messages on about sexuality being shameful but it’s something we shouldn’t be talking about that we have to hide that we can’t tell our partner as what we desire and that if we are having sex I am working to be shamed and called a slut and judged for it so kind of growing up with all these messages about sexuality and having this steep interest to explore my own sexuality was really a conflicting for me because you want to be a good girl and you want to you know I’ll follow the rules but you have this yearning an urge to do something that’s so what are off the beaten path and Against the Grain and I started to come to this realization that it shouldn’t be it shouldn’t be against the grain it is really going with the grain because it’s our natural urge hits you know how everybody is want to connect with other people and it’s a big piece of emotional fulfillment whether it’s inside a relationship outside of a relationship I just be able to express that part of yourself so I started my website as initially a Twitter account when I was in college and I was just kind of anonymously talking about all the funny weird facts the awkward things that happen when you’re having sex when you’re having sex with strangers and commenting specifically shameful messages and trying to kind of eliminate them and tell women like it’s okay to be having these experiences I’m having them my friends are having them and hear the place where we can all talk about it and not feel so alone I’m starting to slowly chip away at that flexion and culture and connect with women all over the world who wanted to explore their sexuality to and we’re feeling like maybe they didn’t have an outlet to talk about it so when that started to grow I felt like I was just on to something and that women really do need a space to connect and learn more and feel empowered and their sexuality so I turned the Twitter account into my current website and started to create content that you’re able to really dive more into sexuality more than you can in the hundred forty characters that Twitter gives you that and it’s really a testament to how in this information age with all this technology anyone really with the passion can step up and become a thought leader and certainly you were addressing the most near and dear issue to most people’s hearts that there’s been such Silence about so again thank you so much for stepping up in that way and do you want to talk kind of give us the car audio tour if you will have your website and what people can be discovering there we really tried to cover the vast array of different sexualities so we have Sunny call and we have really end up guys and sex texts and we have pieces that are more political talking about women’s issues in women’s right but we try to cover everything from you know Kingston said tell you just how to do you know kind of basic sex techniques and sex position and then we even do like movie commentary pop culture commentary and we have until like different products and that might help to enhance your sex life and we even have like Community forum for people can ask her own questions and get and reader responses so if you need advice you can play right into our advice column or you can just ask Bella members on-site what they would do in your situation and so we really transgo uncover everything that young man and a young man come to our site to it’s not an old The Old Man and old woman come to our state to so it’s it’s not necessarily gender or age difference to buy anyone can come and learn more about sexuality and kind of diamonds anything but they want to explore awesome you act like I said I am I feel like dizzy from looking at it and there’s so much you’re so many resources there it’s I think one of the richest website experiences I’ve had in a long time and it’s well-designed so it’s really want your titles that goes wow these are these are the the sexploits of the usually hear men bragging about but from a proud and empowered female perspective it’s really exciting because yeah most people I guess they’re still trapped in shame or just fantasy really so to see this stuff all come to life in a place where it’s very well nested together there’s a lot of clickbait that’s really yeah healthy and and Valley will actually am one of my favorite projects that I’ve worked on was for another magazine and I interviewed women about their back sexual stories and Abby’s one-on-one interviews and women sharing kind of these intimate moments where some of them are like funny or a little risque like having sex in the back of a car or I’m having sex in the baseball Dugout or you know having sex with their professor and it was really cool to have women coming forward with these really exciting fun stories that show that it doesn’t have to be dressed in a relationship with your monogamous partner that it can be you know in the dungeon of a sex club and all of it is fine and all of it is great and all that is solid and and that is definitely what we aim to show so glad that is coming across to evolved Consciousness in a similar way as to what you’re doing I like to use the analogy that we have a you know a dietary appetite that’s pretty you know it’s pretty fast and we don’t want to eat the same we wouldn’t want to eat the same thing for every meal we wouldn’t want to eat at the same restaurant every time we eat out and we wouldn’t want to starve ourselves either so this honoring of the lower half of our bodies as needing nourishment that’s very spontaneous diverse Adventures fulfilling and healthy that this is really important so you really giving some avenues for people to explore do you want to talk more about some of your favorite content there you’re some some highlights in addition to what you just provided Som one of the things that were really focusing on moving forward and tet 2017 is talking about a lot of Rights issues that kind of relate around sexuality it’s not just women bright spot and things like birth control and equal pay but I’m talking about LGBT rights rights of sex workers and people in the media rights for people to be able to access like a portion and contraception and positive education so I’m we definitely been really concerned with some of the changes that are happening in policy and want to keep getting a retard not only information about that but Avenues where they can get involved and where they can sell to make a change and right there as senators and work on a state level to access the rights that they are entitled to a lot of that work which I am really excited about in the upcoming year as a way for us to get more involved in our communities and aside from that really just relates to our mission of wanting to provide information and get women and then the help and resources that they need to have healthy sex lives and if our own country and our own government isn’t able to provide that kind of sex education you know we’re not getting a grade sex education from our schools and we’re not getting it from porn so there needs to be somewhere in between can learn about it and realize that it’s not what’s in the movies and it’s not you know just hidden under sheets in the dark and light on that as well awesome I totally agree with you and all of those things and it seems like would you would you describe yourself as how would you describe your personal sexuality if you had to choose you know any of the words that are out there non-monogamous or open or are or single or whatever it might be I’m just curious cameras relationship monogamy has never really felt like quite the right fit for me and polyamory and exploring that has definitely felt like the the better fish so I’m really excited to you at explorer that now who knows if it’ll be a good fit in 5 or 10 years but try not to think that far ahead and I’ve always been very interested in exploring different Dynamics and you know power exchanges and a different Kinks and you know always been really open to try what I’m interested in or what my partner’s interested in and sometimes I end up not liking any of it and like all right I tried it once and I don’t want to but I think that’s a really exciting piece of your sexuality is that you can try it or not try it and learn some more about what turns you on what turns you off and then incorporate that into your relationship I think we’re really kind of scared sometimes to go outside the box and try something new whether it’s a new toy or like the more I think even people are concerned kind of dive into tantric sex for fear of being maybe two connected to their bodies or their partners and it’s so exciting it’s like our body is this playground that we have the keys to and we got to do whatever we want with it and give everything to try and I feel like why it why not why not oh and if I don’t like that ride I don’t have to ride it again awesome yeah that is very refreshing perspective and it’s it’s a I feel like I’ve been studying this new shift in generations and I feel like the gender binaries are dissolving and the relationship and classical marriage constraints or are just dissolving almost organically without a big fight like it didn’t take having to go to a bloody civil war with the Bible Belt states to get people in the urban cone still have rights although a lot of people have fought and died and been incarcerated and then shamed and lost their jobs and had their children taken away and all kinds of battles have been fought for sexual freedom and rights across the spectrum of you know queer queerness and all them all women’s rights for it to their bodies and so we’re sort of standing on the backs of giants you know we we look at like our parents generations and see so many unhappy marriages and someone else’s relationship and we don’t want that for ourselves so and it’s great to be able to create your own structure and hopefully that the world will kind of start to evolve as well and Port all different types of configurations for a little more so you’re you’re living the dream life a lot of people there are projecting themselves out of their primary partnership relationship to have fantasies that maybe we’ll never be for sale because their religion says it can’t be or their family on one or both sides has that it would be so shameful and so devastating and and it’s it’s really this bubble of fear around losing your property or giving up having some something be threatened and there’s just this whole fear of jealousy and the fear of the collapse of family structure because of Scandal but can you talk about how people are are designing their own paradigms and living in their own playground and figuring out how do you know make finances and family and in the domestic sphere actually function with with more diverse sexual relationships happening is that you know a family I don’t have a house and berries location independent so I’m I’m really at you know I work for myself though I’m very privileged in that way and don’t have to think about you know if I work for a conservative company and you know it had children that could you know cause like problems in a divorce what would it mean to come out as poly or bisexual and I think that those are all incredibly valid fears and concerns I especially like professionally if it’s going to impact your career I don’t think it should be that way I don’t think it should be an impact in your career at all but unfortunately right now so that would be going through that would be to come out where you can and come out where it’s safe to come out and find your community like within your larger Community there’s always resources online where you can find like meetup.com most major cities have a polyamory Meetup Group reaching the other people like you and it doesn’t have to be like in your workspace or in your immediate family are with your immediate friends if you’re concerned with destroy a relationship you can kind of explore that in the safety of these communities people that are already interested and are going to be that kind of safe haven for you so I think it’s a wonderful life especially if you’re not sure if this is something for you to meet other people learn about their experiences and get that one-on-one advice without having to make an announcement in your personal life before you really decided if that’s what you want that is great advice you will be cool to see people I mean sometimes that your people joke about okay maybe we can have a threesome honey on your birthday you know and then it’s like okay that’s that’s that’s reasonable to think of the box I know there’s also this Festival I believe it’s in Southern India where it’s kind of like a weekend of anything goes among his consenting adults sexuality and and you just see people go there like it says this this is beautiful and then people and families go to support their family members getting their freak on upside down and backwards however they want for that time and then it sort of I don’t want to say get it out of their system but it allows for that expression to be contained and held by the culture in a non-destructive and you know it’s not in the shadow it’s it’s celebrated but people also have to go back to their mundane reality for the most part 4 like that all the time even though I love having multiple partners that explore my sexuality I still have to work like everybody else so yeah and I think that that is really an incredible text Florida and somebody has an inkling or a desire to express that it’s definitely worth exploring and not you know we’re pressing because I feel like that’s something that kind of hurt you over time like maybe for a little bit you can you know keep going and not think about it but kind of knobs that your minds like I wish I had tried that I’m starting to be able to you know try all these things if you are in a monogamous commitment the further and further you get into a monogamous. I think it’s worth exploring it as soon as you have a desire to redo a little research find out how you can dive in and take those baby stop towards getting it realized awesome so you studied you did women study so I’m hearing in sensing that you have a strong feminist foundation and I’m curious if you could talk about how that that training informed your work and sexuality and what to what are maybe some of the The Cutting Edge philosophies and critiques that are coming out of the women’s movement so yeah I’m in ISM has always been a big part of my life since I discovered that I was 7 is before I knew what I was telling us was studying it academically and professionally at was a big help to my own journey of just understanding why women are in the space that they are and why men are in the space that they are and how it’s affecting all of us so negatively men as well and that those some tools that we can use to make up make that better I think one of the biggest pool that we have is just our voices which is been a big part of flooding problems for me is using that voice to get a sex-positive feminist a message out there so it really does influence my work in every way and wanting to help women and specifically wanting to help him in avoid the shame and stigma that I have felt around exploring my sexuality and and to come to a more enlightened understanding place about it and I just sent a huge huge part of my journey and my medicine and my personal passion so you know despite what men’s rights blogs and conservative media want you to believe feminism is having a huge movement right now it is a huge 3rd and young women are joining a fight that’s been going on for so long and I think transforming it to be more inclusive with intersectional feminism for so long women’s issues have kind of focused on you know upper middle-class white women and their issues you know for instance when there was a big push for women to be able to work underprivileged women have had to work the whole time that the fight wasn’t about that it was about privilege women and I think we’re starting to look more at an intersectional feminism and how feminism can help everyone not just the elite and getting more perspectives into their taking marginalized voices and focusing the conversation around them in their struggle and finding solutions that work for everyone not just a few I think that’s the new frontier of feminism right on yes something that I feel is a new dimension as people become more accepting of sluttygirlproblems or they figure out I had to transcend them and overcome them it really comes back to classical feminist concept of Sisterhood being powerful and in really actually creating the Sacred Space in the safe space for the what the witches were burned for was having knowledge and power and wisdom and spiritual power autonomy and they were able to throughout many cultures not just be oh you’re not you know you’re here you’re a widow or your husband beat you so much that you ran away and then you’re forced into total degradation and total other ization within the culture and Annette would tend to be the place where actual reweaving of women’s empowerment would would happen because in the absence of that oppression and tyranny of the Patriarchs they would actually we know figure out how to to work together to carve out a survival and and actually thrive in I’m wondering if you’re seeing more of a potential for women who are kind of dropping out or or or running away or Breaking Free from patriarchal marriage systems and you know patriarchal Dynamics with the boss with their bosses you don’t actually finding that with more permission to have more diverse sexual experiences in gratification is basically the potential for women to United have solidarity and to please each other sexually so there’s less seduction into you know being in service to men who were abusing them does that answer without being a technology that we have now and all the resources available at our disposal has given us so much more knowledge than we once did I mean before all you had to go by was your family and your friends and your partner and now if you’re going through a bad situation or just have a desire that you want to explore you can identify it you can go online and you can come find a community of other people so friends and people that were like gay or bisexual and might not even know that other people feel this way and I just want to there’s something wrong with that now have the internet and communities where they can go and find so many other people and obviously now we know that so many people have all different sexualities and I think it gives us a great way to connect an explorer that and definitely and the feminist movement I think there’s a patriarchal culture tried to create competition among women rather than a community of women and feminism is making big strides to be more inclusive and eliminate competition and Foster you know where all voices are heard and all perspectives are valid and more space for discussion and understanding that’s awesome you I could do you want to talk about maybe some examples of some positive case studies or just observations of how women are starting to transcend that that competitive mindset as I know it’s really so it can be so toxic and damaging and can be even more Insidious in certain ways than just telling me that the men are pretty easy to just get them to to kind of be setting to satisfy them they’ll pass out the leave you alone but if if women are fighting with each other it can be a real nightmare you know it when when women are using their powerful wits to cut each other down and to attack each other so yeah I need hopeful inspiring Transcendence stuff around that would be great to hear were socialized to slap shame other women even when were women ourselves and I think it’s something that you know our writers talk about that and you know we baby walking on the street and see a woman who is expressing herself through her dress and her actions and you have this little piece in the back of your mind that’s like what a slut and you shouldn’t be thinking that but like you have to kind of be aware and catch yourself and you know I’m guilty of it as well on Sand Evolution process for me personally to be mindful of my own thoughts and be mindful of how I’m treating other women and thinking about other women and I think personally I’ve come a long way and once you start being mindful of your own thought you can work to address them but if you don’t even know that you’re thinking that are you think that your thoughts are valid and you have nowhere to start so I think it’s an individual Journey for each person and that the more knowledge and awareness you have around that and the more you can work to address that so now you know when I see a woman expressing her sexuality if I have a friend that’s like she’s such a slow whatever girl she is so empowered she is enjoying herself she is having the night of her life she can remember this night forever like she’s having a blast like we do not need to touch her at all like she could have just went through a breakup she could have never had a relationship in her life and just wants to live it up when it is not our place to judge or I make a comment on that so I think if you are the kind of person that goes through being a little silently judgemental be aware of that and wonder why why do I have these thoughts are they productive is it coming from a place of insecurity is it coming from a place of fear or not understanding and it’s hard work to do on yourself but I’ve work to do it on myself and retrain those negative messages and it just helps me look at the world in a better way where I can support other women and their choices and not feel like I have to cut them down to make myself feel like I’m you know somehow Superior so I don’t know if that’s like a pig case study but I think everybody individually is kind of their own their own case study of introspection and trying to change their own you know perspective and value system and how they interact with the world beautiful yeah absolutely and that’s where quintessential spiritual practice self-knowledge and hacking your own will hacking the thought stream that is really not made up of your essence in a lot of cases it’s really programs that have been placed there by the dominant cultures Machinery in on that note that it’s it it’s a daily battle because as you’re fully aware he can be two steps forward and five steps back because you look at a billboard that makes you you no question your skin are your body or whatever it’s just an ongoing daily battle really so I noticed that you were pretty deep into studying the just pop culture from celebrities to start analyzing music and movies so do you want to talk about are there any what should we be hopeful for what should we be worried about in in the pop mainstream kind of culture in trying for so long there’s a lot of independent documentaries that are getting more attention on Netflix and Mike on TV and on the internet at there’s just a lot more. Getting out there about adult work adult workers rights and that industry which is really exciting on because obviously likes a lot of sex work is still illegal and you know the majority of it if not illegal is highly frowned upon when I think sex work is you know something that you know if I’m going to be critical. We have to examine it but certainly not just wash it all as bad so I think that polyamory sex work are kind of starting to come into the spotlight a little bit more and got more media attention more thoughtful documentaries and really excited to see that moving forward and change and kind of public perspective of alternative sexualities and I think especially with the younger generation helping them understand different configuration more so I definitely think the media is moving away from more traditional representations and becoming more diverse in the type of content that we consume that’s good to hear cuz I’ve been like I said I feel like I’m living under a rock and part of it is that I’ve been I’ve been I’ve been in Retreat mode from the mainstream pop culture it really feels like it’s you know that from violence and videogames to just the derogatory use of women and in a lot of the the more mainstream pouring and all that it’s it’s a celebrity kind of never-ending pageantry and popularity contest of just more shallow and less spiritual Pursuits it’s it’s been a big turn-off for me but that but I I I have seen also this positive trade in the morning dependent me the other cure saying it’s it’s feeding back into the the mainstream and they’re going to see the if sex cells then why not expand our concept of what it is because it’s so much more of a bigger Marketplace when you serve the underserved Market places within sexuality so I’m curious if you have you this is I think this will be the the most Paradigm shattering phenomenon if there were more pop music Divas who are writing about writing songs about the lifestyles that you’re describing have you have you discovered anything like that that I should be aware of it we should know about does a fairly have though I think we do have some great model already like Beyonce Rihanna I think are incredible models of kind of empowered sexuality and music I hopefully will see a lot more of it definitely I think the music industry it’s a lot harder to be an independent voice than this is I like wheat we have outlets for you know like journalism and for documentaries that are independent to kind of get out there but you know it’s a long way to go I think before it’s and mainstream movies and entertainment but to be honest I’m a bit and Retreat to from it I really turn into very mainstream I try to keep my media consumption two more empowering sources and interesting that you mentioned mainstream foreign as well because there’s a big movement now towards feminist porn and it’s not necessarily what it sounds like I think a lot of people when they hear feminist Forum think that it’s going to be like a romance novel but and I’m that the mission of feminist Warren is to have a show like active consent in the moment so a lot of hornets they just kind of like get to it and nobody talks about it and everything is on the table and it sets up the false expectation that when you have sex it’s like anything goes just do whatever and everything is going to be pleasurable in the woman is going to love it and you don’t even have to ask but I’m coming this morning showing like hey does it feel good like can I keep going like can I put it in your application of lube or like somebody being like that doesn’t feel quite right let’s change positions and I mean it doesn’t it’s not that I’m sexy and I’m still into like the normal sexuality like it’s still hot and when we do it in our own lives it’s still hot and in fact talking about it and what’s not makes it even better and those on this point it’s kind of restructuring that. Framework of how we view sex to make it a little bit more realistic and have a more realistic expectation of what to expect in socks without losing that hot sexy I can get a thing that so many people love about traditional mainstream porn estate in sentiment I’m in the world of transforming that Paradigm and came up for me which is a kind of classic feminist term about entitlement and it’s it’s a what porn is take porn is like entitlement on steroids if you think about what a man is trained to believe about that that narrative that that that unspoken Narrative of the mainstream porn kind of experience which is that a woman is just thrilled to be to be splayed out and to be used as like a rag doll for the Mills pleasure and just the idea of having that much attention from a dude is enough for her to just shut up and take it and that’s the thrill and that’s the right but really the reality is nobody even if you want to be humiliated they’re still negotiation and has to happen for that to be safe so earlier conversation and it’s no fun if a conversation is one-sided I guess you have this is this some kind of feel like this is a shopping spree or something I’m there so much background in so I guess something that that’s coming up that feels like it would be useful to two addresses just the inner dialogue around when you are in moments of intimacy with more than one person and you have there’s different Dynamics within that do you have some tips and strategies for helping both internally helping or figuring out how to kind of navigate in and not silence the voices of of jealousy or insecurity but actually you know massage them dance with them let them be Express somehow you know and and also to to Foster those skill sets in other people who are just beginning to integrate into that because that’s really another Frontiers how to get I think most people do fantasize about some form of group sex but the barrier to entry is their own what’s going on internally so wondering if you have good advice for all that are like for their birthday I actually a while I love the idea and spirit actually thinking practice and it doesn’t always work because you need to really talk about what you want out of it and what you don’t want out of it while you’re come you’re not and setting those boundaries of all of the partners in advance to make sure that it’s a happy experience for for everyone so for instance and like let’s say you had a male female female threesome I think that a lot of people try to you might want it to be all about the guy and just both girls kind of worshipping the guy or maybe it’s more about the two girls connecting with each other and I’m having exploring. Connection while the guy is kind of just more of an additional partner that’s there to support the setting up what you want that Dynamic to look like in advance and also let’s say you have a monogamous male female couple that wants to have a threesome with another female determine what do you feel comfortable with both Partners doing I think a lot of people think if you’re jumping into a group sex or three sons a couple swapping that everything just have to be on the table and end it doesn’t you can say you know that this is our first threesome and I’m okay with you no touching and making out and fingering and eating our hands a pleasure each other but you know let’s save penetration an oral sex until later when we’re more comfortable and just kind of have this amazing experience where you’re just rolling around with another person exploring your bodies and touching and enjoying each other and other ways and move up to those steps that feel a little bit more jealousy and juicing and a little bit more difficult because it is definitely hard to see your partner have sex with somebody else at first but it’s not something that you just want to dive into without talking about it and and I think it’s great to take those baby stats and especially when it comes to gel communication is just so important and reminding yourself and your partner how important you are to each other and that exploring somebody new doesn’t mean that there was something missing or wrong with you and that’s a big part of polyamory for me is I know who I am as a person my personality is actually and I’m very bold and open and express myself and my partners are never going to have someone with me that’s kind of like shy and passive and you know a little bit more demure and that kind of koi sexy I’m like your face kind of sexy tell myself like you know I want them to have that experience I want them to enjoy other other people other connections other types of interactions that I know that I can’t provide and it doesn’t mean that what I provided is invalid or wrong or not enough it’s I can’t be everything at once and in a way having that polyamorous connection is kind of a relief because I don’t have to worry about are they unhappy with me and my personality because they can’t get everything because they think they can go out and get everything with multiple people and it kind of takes the pressure off for you to be at your partner’s everything thank you so much for saying that yeah the the rewards outweigh the risks when done right for sure and it’s yeah it’s such a beautiful time to be exploring all this cuz like you said there’s three welders sluttygirlproblems. Com where you can get some Advanced Training and let you know something that came up while you’re speaking is just the idea that if you wanted to be doing Advanced martial arts techniques you would need to go through a system where you’re going to be initiated into higher levels and you can an easy example is karate going from a white belt to a black belt and what you’re talking about these you know getting to that point where there is more intense exit penetration in in in sharing it a more intimate and deeper level it would make sense to burn your way up to those Advanced stages by having gone through some pretty metered out process and something else that comes up is it to ask you about do you see that people are building the skill sets that they’re less dependent on getting shit-faced drunk to have liquid courage and beer goggles to have any fun and definitely I mean alcohol is a biggest way to kind of let go of inhibitions and quiet that voice that’s telling us that what we’re doing isn’t okay and you know it really tells us you know everything’s okay do whatever you want to rely on alcohol and definitely sucks is a lot more enjoyable when you can remember it after 2 support developing good boundaries not dissolving them with alcohol and then that’s another important Point why would you spend why would you go on vacation if you weren’t going to have any souvenirs if remembering it at all so it’s just wonderful so you know I’m deep in the the Tantra world where sometimes it goes to the extreme and people are I guess you could say well there’s a form of spiritual slut-shaming on in the world warriors were people are supposed to be exploring and opening up and incorporating the sexual energy into your spiritual practices there can be at another form of another layer of shaming people around being too sexy or to Abundant or whatever and end that’s a whole nother conversation book but 2 to bring it into a question for you I’m just curious what you were observing as far as peoples spiritual practice around sexuality with or without any words or Traditions attached to it but just for example I would say that whatever tradition you come from spiritually or whether you’re in a religious practice or and you have your own speaker practice that the common denominator that works well from my perspective and I’m curious to see if you would agree is that if you have a let’s say a relationship loving relationship with nature or the true gardening or hiking or meditating out and in nature and you have some connection to what you feel is the Divine loving energy of the cosmos however you name it then you were less dependent and needy and you’re less of a vampire to get the energy from one relationship partner who you think owes you the world and you’ll kill yourself if they betray You by having fun with anybody else like that’s kind of the curse that were in and so I’m wondering if you were yeah what are you what are you seeing is positive spiritual you know so I think that’s really important and that’s so interesting that you feel like an energy vampire because I feel like a lot of people do treat their partners that way that we expect our partners to be everything and everyone and you know there are Confidant there the person we hang out with their the person we go to on your side and it’s great to have all those things but it’s also really important to maintain your interest your hobbies your friendships your connections with other practices that you have whether it’s Hobbies Are Spiritual practices or simply connecting with yourself and I definitely feel like you not that were we aren’t all like whole all the time with ourselves like not happy with myself and you know it looking for that extra support but in general I think we need to be aware of it and ourselves for getting our needs Matt not expecting everybody else to get the mess for us which I think is also a big part of you know Polly for me is expressing myself and not expecting people to read my mind for what I want because it’s just not possible when you have multiple partners to expect him to read your mind giving with one partner that’s such an unrealistic expectation I think spiritually to if you’re in a spiritual practice I believe that you know your sexuality is just as much a part of you and ingrained in you as your personality and your spirituality so it’s definitely all connected and I’m bringing that Dynamic and being able to match them and is so powerful it’s not something I’m very good at all I want to learn more about and experience because I think it’s incredibly enlightening piece of sexuality for so many people to be able to channel and something greater than ourselves and that moment so let’s books more fucking yeah I let the let the new scriptures be written from the peaks of ecstasy in the bedroom what is God look like while you’re having an orgasm I feel like I know what that looks like but I want to hear what other people feel like I said I’ll have you know you say oh God oh God when you’re coming and all that but there’s a lot of brain research that says that you’re the same spiritual molecules are being released during Peak spiritual experiences by train meditators in caves who are celibate Masters in Same Love Making chemical so do a do you have what it what are some of your most ecstatic experiences if you care to share so actually I think I’ve only started to explore that very recently I think I previously in a big part of bloody girl problems for me was kind of this like anonymous Saks like one night stand hookup culture like drunken college thing and you know I’m moving past that in my life now and exploring new Dynamic so having this kind of connected experience of socks where it’s like it’s mind-body relationship connection is very very new for me and honestly has been and I’m a little bit scary to dive into because you’re so used to having this like purely physical experience and then you start to match that with like you’re at your loving tender emotions and it’s going to be more present in the moment and try to use the focus so much on just the physical sensation of sex which I think is definitely important but reminding myself like oh there’s a partner that is like doing this with me right now and like looking at them and reminding myself that like all I really like this person and like they like they’re having pleasure too and I’m trying to kind of get that connection more out of it so I think I think I have a lot of learning to do from from you and your podcast and I Tantra teachers to connect with that more it’s still a part of myself that needs a lot of work but I will add there’s plenty of there’s plenty of time for guy problems on my podcast so she could and it’s a lot of the same stuff just helping helping people and be present and be conscious and NB open to expanded Consciousness and really to bring your bring the issues in your personal life and relationships into the lovemaking ritual to literally incinerate them and sort of pressure cook them so that you can experience just pure Divine Bliss and once you start to attain that nectar of sexual spiritual enlightenment and you just want to go and write you start to think in love poetry in the people that you were criticizing you know in the end in the line at the the coffee shop becomes instead of criticizing people for what they’re wearing you you actually want to compliment them about it because you’re so full with joy that you can’t hold it in and I think that just you know whether or not you have a a guru who teaches you to repeat mantras thousands of times or you just sort of reverse engineer your own Bliss a lot of people are are are finding this it’s not necessary to to have really strict and rigorous expensive training but actually to Jimmy it is kind of what what do you have to get trained to do and most time trick Traditions is is actually shed the baggage of the culture which is like piling on all of these distractions and all of this sort of plaque in your mind that blocks out your the connection to Bliss that you had intrinsically before it was sort of beating out of you by the culture so you know ya all roads lead to the Ecstasy when you let him so cool will thank you again so much for your time I feel really just engorged with hope and in my heart is is just yeah it’s expanding to get to know that you’re really providing these great resources for people and then do you want to say some final words and closing and and also again plug the website and also your social media if you know all that good stuff and I’m so inspired to learn more about Tantra and you know it develop my journey I think we’re all on a journey so the more resources out there the better I so interested people are interested in checking out the resources on my site and he can find us at sluttygirlproblems. Com we’re also all over social media are Twitter and Instagram is bloody GRL Probz schroth on Tumblr and and within 2017 possibly launching a podcast or YouTube channel we’re still kind of working on that exploring how to do that so we can keep up-to-date on our website and I sign up for email list to get our weekly update and we share all of our best posts there so that we would love to have you I said all right well thank you so much have a wonderful day and we’ll be in touch take care. Country Park. Com can cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to see me and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess time for supper by Tycho logical employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email band at Tantra Punk. Com Thomas Day

Designer Relationships with Mark Michaels and Patricia Johnson TPP93

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Mark and Patricia picIn this episode I’m joined by my favorite tantric power couple to talk about applying tantric principles and techniques to create designer relationships beyond the mono-normative mythology.

Please visit their website at:
http://tantrapm.com

Please visit their instructor’s website:
https://jonnmumfordconsult.com/

About Mark and Patricia:

Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson are the authors of the new book Designer Relationships: A Guide to Happy Monogamy, Positive Polyamory, and Optimistic Open Relationships (Cleis Press, September 2015). A devoted married couple, they have been creative collaborators––teaching and writing about relationships, sexuality, and Tantra––since 1999. In addition to Designer Relationships, they have written Partners in Passion (Cleis Press), Great Sex Made Simple, Tantra for Erotic Empowerment, and The Essence of Tantric Sexuality (Llewellyn). They are also the creators of the COVR Award-winning meditation CD set Ananda Nidra: Blissful Sleep.

Internationally known as experts in sexuality, Michaels and Johnson have taught throughout the United States, as well as in Canada, Europe, and Australia. They have been featured on television and radio and widely quoted in numerous publications. They are cofounders of the Pleasure Salon, a monthly gathering in New York City that brings together sex-positive people and pleasure activists from a variety of communities.

p&m8Michaels is a graduate of New York University School of Law and holds master’s degrees in American Studies from NYU and Yale. Formerly a playwright and translator, he has translated, adapted, and cowritten various works for the stage. Johnson is a retired professional operatic soprano who toured extensively throughout the United States, Europe, and South America. She currently works in turtle conservation; she is certified in reptile monitoring by the Smithsonian-Mason School of Conservation and is a New York state-licensed wildlife rehabilitator.

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast episode number 92 I am here on Skype with Mark and Patricia Michaels and Mark and I had done an episode a while back about Tantra and punk he had a seminal essay that I found when I was Googling around in the early days of my Township Punk adventures and I was like wow this is a serious precedent in this deep into the mosh pit is a sort of Kundalini Shakti experience and a lot of really fun stuff those of you have that certain Punk background please go back in and check that out and yeah now that we’re all here together for the first time I would love to get a the story of your background together in your Your Love Story and you’re encountering your sacred sexuality paths and and then all of the bibliography of your great co-creative works and then now what brought me into this you know to Cosmic nice to have you on together now is that you’re doing some really amazing groundbreaking coursework for the top level of six allergy and therapy and sexual therapy so really helping people understand how to consciously design relationships that are really meeting people’s needs on a deeper level beyond the the mono normative mythology that were that were stuck in here that was something of Patricia said just a minute ago so with all that said Thank you again so much for joining me and please go ahead and tell us all about you and your infinite Glory 1999 previous sexual experiences were really like I was getting these little glimpses into something I felt was very very profound and then it would just go away and I was like what is that I don’t feel like there’s really a lot there and I started researching Western Sex Magic practices taoism Tantra and was really the concept of sexuality is a energetic phenomena rather than a physiology really resonated with me and I really I really had a keen interest it’s it’s funny when you’re you’re dating a gentleman in their twenties and you go hey the sex was really great but we can do really cool stuff look at this book how they react oh my God I don’t even want to talk about it wasn’t successful in finding someone who was interested in practicing with me at that time I was giving a lecture in New York in 1999 and it was my first public talk on Tantra and I was very nervous and very very over-prepared and and I I came in with a stack of papers and I gave my talk and you was there and she said she brought to Tricia up and introduced us I was thinking that this was the first time I I I was just really wanted to learn more about Tantra at that point in my life and I remember sitting in that lecture thinking all right mr. Tom’s room and you only see your teacher cuz you can’t get laid right cigars like leaning back hands crossed against my chest and the guy newest stuff I was like this is a really interesting and at the end of it he offered up his email address this is beckons Isle of days it was so fun and you just said if you have any questions and I was like somebody I can start talking to about this stuff so we started a pretty Lively email conversation Reddit turn up the listserv together so I was I had seen some of her posts and eat I realize that although she didn’t have the sort of the information piece that I had from doing a lot of research that energetically she was she was right there and understood all of those aspects really really well the later we ended up finally getting together actually I screwed up my courage and ask them out to coffee and we ended up having sushi together and I was like right before going oh my God what am I doing in my hiring this guy that I’d like to teach me that I don’t know if I can do that but I’m like oh my God I really want to know station that might my teaching role was not going to be at all hands on at that point I was really interested in where in imparting information and giving people skills not not doing the Hands-On stuff and also be having read what she’d written you know I I kind of knew that there wasn’t a whole lot that I could teach her I can teach you anything and I was like oh you know can we at least be friends and I said why don’t why don’t we explore the sexual and so we really just decided to get together to practice I’m so happy to hear we are 18 years later Tantra when we started with which I gave I am it’s so powerful so powerful we use it everyday we still this is our go to practice and I never thought I would ever be in a long-term relationship and I definitely marriage was not part of my life and then furthermore I never thought I’d write books with its Johnson so that’s a little bit of our story and and so we started practicing together and I think we taught our first class together about six months after that it’s a basic intro in a basic little teaser kind of class we started looking but we really wanted somebody really tied in with traditional training so I wish we weren’t funny so easily in the Americas in the US so we landed on dr. John Mumford who had been going to India since the 50s since he was young Rogue one of the one of the first kind of first generation of American Tantra books that ecstasy through Tantra which was called initially sexually sexual occultism which came out in 1976 I believe very extensive online worse that he still teaches to this day and it’s his students worldwide and it is the real tradition you learn as you go through the chakra system but you spend three weeks per chakra studying all aspects of it and really getting well-versed in knowing your inner energetic working switch is you know unique to each person is a profound experience mentions the sexual aspects but the focus of the course is really on the esoteric in her energetic and not the the sexual side of it but it’s if it’s really it is it is a very very profound experience of of going deep into traditional practices the the structure of the teaching and the chakras was it kind of one by one starting from going from root to Crown or and then if you have just any bullet points of the outline I’m just curious route to Crown that’s like the top was Schutte practice and he wants you start working with you the chakra system and learning the sensory organs the yantras which we’ve worked hard on internalizing on it’s like you’re getting at something external and he’s a sociopath by training and Physiology right or anatomy anatomy and so he use the physiology of the eye the ocular functioning to open a window to internalize that yantra by using the complementary colors you i gaze at it for a while and when you close your eyes that yantra pops into your inner Consciousness it’s it’s profound it’s like that he discovered how to get into the into the Psyche on that way that’s just one of the practices it’s it’s pretty one of those steady ones and I’m you’re fine as you work up through the chakras this way there’s this layering of knowledge that bills on it so your building on your previous knowledge and it just starts to on that Foundation before you even get to this whole structure and the results of the instead of being an abstraction or being something that seems sort of woo-woo the you get this internal sense and I don’t really care personally whether the chakras are a real thing or not they’re they’re really useful for mapping you’re in our world and that’s kind of the way he taught it and by getting it into your body in that way by realizing how the mantras affect your body it gives you a really really focused and specific way of thinking about them it’s very personal at the same time knowledge and so many different way everyday life awesome episode maybe we can jump ahead into the writing because our first book was was based on his lectures that he gave him in the in the mid-70s in Gnostic on which was one of the first of those kind of occult on you no cons that they haven’t hotels probably be first first time and initiated Swami and gave a public lecture on the sexual practices of Tantra unfortunately some people kind of co-opted his work and what we really wanted to do was restructiv bring it back bring it into written form update it with his you know when we works with his original notes in an expanded with his current knowledge cuz it’s this man is physiology did you know that was not that have not been done back then so we kind of Flushed it out and you know updated sort of perspectives on gender we we brought in more contemporary and more of our take on it for sizes and stuff so it’s really fun book that’s called the essence of tantric sexuality that’s our first one came out in 2005 and it’s still cruising along so you’ve had a number of other a number of other titles and then so designer relationships is the one that will will definitely focus on the most here but I’m curious if you want to gloss over the other titles in that before we get today backwards in a funny way and then moved in a very different directions to Arc are people read essence of tantric sexuality in and said well this is great but I really am a beginner and this too much for me so that’s has 14 lessons and it’s designed to work through individual as a couple or with how many lovers you have is your group that you want to work with is really it’s a workbook with a lot of journaling and a lot of self-exploration we focus on on sexuality is a way to have mystical experiences and and sexual self knowledge is the gateway to personal empowerment didn’t people said that’s great we want a beginners book great sex Made Simple which is our Tantra doesn’t bite and it’s very proud of that book that book 1 several literary awards and it is distilled down each chapter is about 602000 words and you can put it on your bedside crack it open look at a technique and go hey honey let’s try this tonight it’s it’s fun it’s really a fun book but we also really charged with the tantric sensibility in perspective as we understand it so that even though it’s a tip kind of format in it and a quick and easy read for people it it’s got a lot of pretty obvious it’s very stuck in some really bad practices that we just couldn’t help ourselves it’s just like we knew publisher approached us because we were a couple teaching about relationships and stuff she was like we really want a couple’s book and that was clear press they do a lot of lgbtq the leading queer publishing house in the country guys can you include lgbtq people and we’re like on Howard how they love or who they love you know because that changes the key principles behind a successful relationship doesn’t seem to change so much so that’s Partners in passion when we after we wrote partners and passionately we I guess we were just doing whatever press we could and we got an opportunity to go on a a show that was being done by a fine independent production house but that was also going to be shown on Fox News in DC and it was on polyamory and open relationships and we kind of got on the show is experts and the what are the really the trigger for me to to do designer relationship was that the interviewer said she had talked to people if she done person on the street interviews and she said about 40% of the people that she talked to said they felt it up and relationships can work that really blew me away because we’ve been going to polyamory events from day one and you know where peripherally involved in the movement and I guarantee you in 2004 she wouldn’t have gotten 40% of the people saying it you know they were okay with the idea about the relationship I just wouldn’t have happened so yeah that was really exciting and it really seemed like the culture was ready to start finding a new way of relating because you’re moving into designer relationships where you wanted to move Beyond a binary concept you know either you’re open you’re closed your monogamous or your non-monogamous and that fact is is no one is either one of those were kind of in a Continuum in the middle 10% of purely I don’t like things to contemplate to find out how and where they uniquely find their loved one at relay and now you know when stop comparing yourself to this like the monolithic mono normative saying that it’s and it’s mythical everyone acts like it’s very real but no two people to find it the same way and I need to let me know I think that we also have a lot into history and and and sort of the way that relationships have evolved in our society and I grew up in the 70s and we people talked about premarital sex you know save it for marriage but you could do it before you got married Twin Oaks who is is there are are are beef I guess is not is with his unconscious with a forcing of people like they do but where else to be in life sign a contract for life and never discuss the terms with the person you’re going to we wanted he were big fans of chosen monogamy and we do and we’ve interviewed couples that have gone through all kinds of relationships tiles and realize that their who’s in the best Ultimate relationship style is a monogamous one for the midnight that’s gorgeous whatever your relationship starts to look like as long as it’s chosen consciously and after many discussions and when many possibilities are you going to really land on what’s perfect for you and your your beloved’s Sunnyvale you know depending on circumstances I mean so yeah do you do you have more you want to share about the course that you just the course where you put together and that seems like it’s a head that must have been a major undertaking to take this and make it into a real track you can take an individual course of anybody’s welcome so you don’t have to be on track to become a sexologist so you can just take an individual course just cuz you’re interested in that topic and yeah it we outlined introduced the students to various relationships types and really that a lot of people really enjoyed and you know it it’s a I don’t remember how many lessons are exactly in the course but there’s homework with each one is it 14-3 assignment for people to watch and respond to songs that deal with different kinds of relationships Styles it’s a sex continuing ed credit eligible and is there another one where else we go we want people to write their definition of monogamy I believe that’s in there I haven’t it’s been awhile since I basically it’s geared toward people who are dealing with clients so we want to provide students with tools to help clients who are dealing with these type of questions and he’s that process right that’s so cool yeah just said that I don’t people don’t know what they don’t know and if they are on the language they can’t even imagine thinking out of the box into this ether of amorphous who knows we’ll head but if there’s actually a structure of known relationship types that can be patterned and can be sort of model and then and then adapted that’s seems like a really should go back earlier and in our armed or primary education about what’s possible designer by no means comprehensive because you know you know it’s a rough outline but it is not completely new wrinkles that you know people to find sex or sexual energy is also still expanding its exciting yeah definitely this is it’s great that there’s a the demand is is increasing and you all are on the Forefront of supplying some very healthy guidance and I think about it it’s a lot of people that don’t live well or represent their lifestyle of being on a ton truck path well or can kind of give it a bad name or they can leave a bad taste to return people ask but I feel like I owe you all have a sort of a higher level of as you might not see but certain certainly credibility and having your lasted as a passionate couple and then do you want to talk about what what his work best for you or what some of you know if you had to drink some of these obviously like you said everybody’s different but you know maybe there’s probably beginner and up to advance levels that require a lot more self-mastery and then you know I’m just wondering if you have a sort of a simple cheat sheet to the beginning was really really that’s the foundational practice process communication is important talking to be overrated that means basically people feel a rift you know they still a little distant from their partner and they think or maybe a little irritated me they have some conflict and the first thing I want to do is start trying to talk their way back into feeling connected again and the reality is that’s really backwards you communication is not going to happen well when you feeling misunderstood her or distant from your partner you you got to be in with connecting silently on energetic level and once you start to feel that your breath relax and all of that and then start those conversations with me it’s worth the effort and it takes is stops a lot of microaggression Tendencies You Know You Remember on a deep deep level that you’re really Partners you’re together and that whatever this issue is your working together collaborating to come up with Solutions you know you’re not working against one another and so the eye gazing we do it will we do it if we feel a little bit of a rest and ideas for 3 or 4 minutes is it happened before where Markle go okay you know we can talk now you know what was bothering you and I’m like what I don’t remember you know and sometimes really what’s bothering you is that you’re still out of sync you know it’s not the milk it’s not you know who wrote that email is not that silly stuff you just want to feel connected yeah there’s certainly I totally agree with that I feel like I’ve had two I wanted to win getting becoming romantic with someone really build the habit of no dancing through conflict or you know okay we got to somehow meet in in the non-verbal affirmative space and then that just takes that for one if you’re you’re less likely to yell at each other if you’re sitting really close to her chest in the tenderness is Whispering and being closed it it just takes that that said out of the emotions little bit of sure idea out there in our culture that a happy relationship is a conflict-free relationship and actually City’s true that to be wrong if couples report that they never fight they’re lying so yeah we fight but we get through it and so it is not looking for Conflict Free your conflict as an opportunity to really learn more and get to get deeper connection and game deeper understanding and not weeds to bonding it’s how you resolved the conflict that matters really more than whether it’s there or not you are prescribed so to speak of or around the issue if I’m having kind of a mission statement in a bigger picture in a higher purpose that’s really well defined and can kind of always be dated but I just feel like if a couple is living moment to moment just trying to get their basic kind of childish needs for Comfort mat and they’re not focused on the bigger picture where they’re going to accept that there’s going to be some molehills that you know you don’t want him to turn into mountains in your really focused on a higher Journey you know a bigger Mission so is that something that you have seen as being a core element to successful Partnerships and something that you would see no invite people to explore purpose statement of purpose and I think you know why are you guys so fucking good together you know why are you so awesome what’s list all of that and be clear and then move on to you know of those wonderful what is are there ones that we can explore further you were Superstars now what if we could eat at the same time is our and then we move into goals you know Siri start with reaffirming your foundation people who wanted to open a relationship or start being more adventurous sexually together and we we did encourage them to craft a statement of purpose around. Specific thing so you know what do we hope to enhancing our relationship through this exploration what you know what are our concerns how can we deal with those concerns so rather than having rules and agreements other of those have their value this was much more about having having mutuality having shared goals and then we we type of expanded that incident the entire relationship it’s you know it’s not a contract it’s not a negotiation it’s a it’s a vision statement this conversation and talk about the Uso and it in there this you want to also talk that if we feel like we’ve hit a bump how are we going to how we going to get back on even footing and I know what works for us are we going to let you know take a break let’s say you know we’re exploring BDSM or something as a you know what exercises you know what is that happens all I’m going to need a week off you know just to contemplate and you know what Justin and then we can talk again or talk about it again or whatever works for everyone I’m kind of seeing that there’s more power and resilience in the affirmative the foundation material that you’re describing and lessen the yeah punitive scary rules what all hell you know what the hell breaks loose will be the end of the world if our the deal breakers in all that negative stuff I feel is what kind of event horizon or what I’m what I’m working through that I’m curious if you know what you what your thoughts will be is around around the the work of sexual healing and in working with survivors of sexual trauma and sort of what I’m arriving at myself as a Survivor who’s been sort of called by that the Dharma of being in service and is a DACA morning to do that in the most highest ethical way in and have the most accountability in the most scrutiny and oversight I’ve kind of arrived at it at a point where I feel that there is a a I need for certified Collective collectives of healers to work together in where there’s various roles were people are playing you know you sure very all very well-versed in the different healing techniques and it feels like a lot of my peers and colleagues who are in the mail. Ghostface are really putting themselves and their their clients in in potential Peril by just working in privacy alone without at least one Observer who is a nurturing playing a role of a nurse that say but I feel like what what I’m hoping this can evolve towards is and I’m kind of pioneering this in my own practices is more of a collective safety-net almost like a sexual healing welfare program where instead of getting into a toxic relationship where you might you know have to relive trauma or be with an unskilled non-healing the person that there’s a sort of foundational opportunity to experience and to have a a bare minimum requirement of your nourishment nurturing and healing needs met and then that gives you more discernment in the dating world but say I’m just wondering if you have what your thoughts are advice around people who are a little more sensitive and Andrew and you know they’re just trying to kind of put themselves back together in and use the time the time sheet skills and in tools for those kind of purposes back to the early days when Patrician I met I made a very conscious choice that I didn’t want to identify as a Healer I didn’t want to do healing work because I don’t think that’s where my skills are I think of myself as an educator and I think that it’s very very perilous when you get into positioning when when anyone gets into the positioning themselves as being a Healer site I’d like what you’re saying about accountability I think that’s really important and it’s been lacking in the Tantra world for sure I like the community relational part because the person facilitating really right it’s basically you’re guiding your client into understanding and finding their own internal part of their self that will heal themselves you know you should feel like taking them to finding their so call themselves you know so but in that the collaborative part I think that’s when that happens it’s a relational process as well I guess it a crude sense I kind of feel like what happens is that you’re just jump starting someone Shakti and then once you kind of once they’re running again then they can start to rebuild the you know the resilience in themselves and make better decisions ultimately and just get out of those karmic loops and knots that if they’re really depleted in The Prana you know and they’re just all the whatever pranav they have left is just being sort of sucked out by human energy vampires and buy their own inner you know energetic parasites than there really crippled and and you probably see people who get to get into a healthy tantric Community or a relationship that’s not re-traumatizing and isn’t corrupt then you see people really bought them out of just been amazing before-and-after Transformations and just yeah there these there’s a lot of issues involved in that process where if I got really want to be funneling folks to your work so that they can let say have more skills and tools to not over over identify with or bond with her project things on people who are playing a more healer surrogate kind of role and you know that’s that’s a whole a whole can of worms so any do you have any thoughts or vice around kind of energetic sovereignty and how you build that how do you help a person build that up so that they are capable of being in other people’s energy and getting sort of a taste of that nurturing nectar but not getting addicted to it and falling into another trap opposition and Power boy and I are at your I think you’re very wise track to think of having a community of healers that work together and you know or maybe accountability and stuff but yeah power power oh boy you can have all kinds of rhetoric we’ve been around Racine where people we’ve seen people get up and give a lecture and talk about how humble they are the whole time and really go on and talk about how amazingly humble they are they are so humble that you know on a very famous preacher invited him on his private jet and it was like what I was looking at 4 to get a Christian but you could hear it from anybody and I need any and deficient used and so just because someone’s using a language and has sort of the tone and sort of has that demeanor really trust your gut feeling because some of the most lugubrious you knows live people can cause such damage and be really drunk on Power and Drunk on Power can be being so humble that you know I only need a bowl of rice today and I want to tell the world I only try so I live off of are you know it’s Wednesday you know when it is so slippery sing it really is another thing that is that’s really important and I think doesn’t get talked about enough and I’m going to use it therapy word but I think it’s super important for anybody who position themselves as any kind of authority is countertransference and I think that too few people who are in the role of being teachers healers whatever doing of self-examination look closely enough of what their motives are what their agendas are what they’re projecting onto the person they’re working with what you know how their ego is being fed and all of this and I think it’s it’s just majorly important for people to do that and you know what you were talking about before about community and accountability is one way to keep sad you know in the in the Forefront but it’s super important because I think the people frequently get re-traumatized because the person who’s been entrusted with their well-being isn’t self-aware enough we don’t we really there is certain areas we do not go as deep as some of these incredible. Dekhini healers you know go really into some deep hugely powerful I I personally don’t feel strong enough and rude enough to go to certain ducks with people on my work with people who are good with people are not so good we’re grounded a not so grounded and I decided early on that I really didn’t feel that I could handle the doing the Hands-On work that it wasn’t my where my skills were that I could be more effectual as as a teacher and a guy I think that those issues of transference and countertransference can still show up but they’re a little bit easier to manage and and I can feel that I’m clear and clean is a row that I’ve chosen do you feel like some of that the problematic the Tendencies just have also to do with the murkiness in the liabilities involved in the end of the doctor patient therapist patient sort of from the financial Dynamic and that expectation of certain results based on certain payment method plans and it’s it’s it’s it’s hard to fit this kind of stuff into that’s why it’s been so taboo for so long in the western clinical you know world right it’s it it’s the slipperiest of slopes and see how do you the money has nothing to do with it I mean people can act and you know say hey I’m going to give you a free session and they can still be unbounded so the money I really doesn’t make you found grounded or not snappower okay so what my ideal vision of the world I want to be born back into a hacking my next life you can say is that I would really like they’re four they’re too I like to leave this world knowing that I was helping You instrumental in setting up a sort of a sort of Clinic style way for people to access sexual healing in group settings where there’s a diffusion of power and a rotation of positions of perceivable power and not going in both directions so basically no one no one could it be put on a pedestal and no one could be perceived as being on a pedestal if that pedestal is is in rotation and there’s a sort of flattened hierarchy of you could call and Priests and priestesses or whatever but if we we have a fantasies about how there there were temples where people had work this kind of stuff out and you know for example if a Warriors coming back from Battlefield would get loved on profusely by skilled dakini lovers or lovers and it wouldn’t whatever configurations and then they will be returned to their Villages and and be restored and sort of deal you traumatized so they wouldn’t just come back and be a menace in their communities and you know where seems like we don’t have opportunities like that and the next best thing is just whatever is going on at the local dungeon for a play Party in the king scene in and I don’t want to put that down anyway but I feel like there’s there’s just not as much of a developed it’s tell me if I’m wrong but it doesn’t seem like there’s as much of it as a developed kind of Fellowship around tantric communal play space that’s really intention to for healing and nurturing there’s just not as much of that infrastructure culturally as areas within the can-can BDSM world and I’m wondering if you’ve encountered kind of fun any Collective type resources whether it’s through Meetup sore or people just operating you know on a mailing list that are there living room or you know it’s absolutely not going to happen tomorrow at the YMCA they’re not going to have a contra de you know but but so we have to build and that you know that that was the young men and women’s Christian Association so there is a young man and woman’s Tantra Association where you go and you learn stuff and you’re at you know you get to practice Sexual Health and Fitness and Wellness and your supported and it’s affordable and mean and it’s just an institution or just visit I really want you to create this could and then I really want to attend this could be my trip but I really think one thing one way of keeping power and check is to do it as soon as low-cost or no-cost as possible so One Vision I have recently was just you know if you was just getting together with anybody who’s the first in many different healing modalities and have it be a healing Circle for healers but not like you to cover the cost of a room rental but beyond that no one’s pocketing any cash know once you know and then you get to draw cards and have an individual healing session with pure who does another modality that I think could really flush out everyone’s skillset and heal the Healer right put it up there and see if it goes viral see if people want to create just tell people how to create it in their community and see if see if people take bite and start doing it is the singer healers without healers become dead Healers so what are the things that we’ve always been about is Building Bridges among different communities so we we’ve done a lot of stuff with tank communities on swinging communities in finding the places where these things overlap big the kind of ghettoizing that that tends to happen in a lot of these movements is not productive and it’s much wiping much more worthwhile to look for places of of commonality so tatra and King you know there’s a lot of commonality I think that that’s something that we didn’t really understand until we started going to we’re so scared oh my God who is wow oh you know cuz they’re highly focused highly intentional energetic exchange is very you know each state staying there assistance suspended in a long periods of time you know it really changes but you know that there are again I’m going to go back to this efficient deficient you know I mean you can find people doing really bad Tantra I’m so I mean just cuz that you’re modality doesn’t mean you’re free of having bad sex so well well thank you so much we’re definitely yeah we’ve covered a lot of stuff and if you have do you have a few more minutes to take a few more questions and then we’ll call it a day teachers URL cuz I really wonder if people www. John Mumford it’s j o n n Mumford consult. Com consult singular so John Mumford consult. Com appreciate the pain that tribution are for sure it’s great so I’m just going to take a couple of breaths and kind of drinking what we covered in yeah I feeling like the big question for me and kind of overarching question for all this is is the I think the real the real gem or the real the core personal development peace that I I feel you owe are really a Guiding Light for and I just want to see if we’re if we’re speaking the same language about it it’s just this this hope that an individual who who is Ben Le say as long as as long as the Disney Classics are shaping the minds of every child you know we’re basically on I’m doing a deep conditioning the prince and princess fantasy of love and romance which is I will kill myself if you fail me in any way shape or form so it’s a constant hostage situation in every buffered by both so I would say there’s self-love there’s the love being connected to Nature there’s the love of being connected to the Divine and then if those three cylinders are functioning properly not even to mention all of that deep tissue chakra energetics and breathing stuff but just you know you spend time in nature you have a spiritual practice you don’t hate yourself and don’t feel internally depleted so then you can go out into the dating world and an in and instantly just people with lower vibrational Tendencies what kind of bounced off and then you can not be so you basically be immune to two unhealthy forms of codependency and that to me is like the the most beautiful transformative thing to witness about getting someone through a bunch of solo Township before getting them into you know I mean I got to eat the rice paragus before they get to eat the ice cream which is you know having time for a relationship or being in a group timeshare Pooja or something that’s more risky and you would want to have built at internal Court those pillars of of love and can and that’s kind of my my little micro thesis about about all this preparing to me no kind of the internal preparation to have more designer relationships do you all have a thoughts on what what what the solo times for the rigor of solo Township why it’s necessary and what you recommend for that to just be the preliminary for exploring these these non-disney well maybe Disney will do something like this is with yourself and to really relate yourself as a beloved and really nurture yourself and seek to fortify yourself sick to be in awe and wonder of yourself you know you can only spend so much time with someone else 32 x with yourself and sometimes a majority of your sex is with yourself too how to get completely free of all the baggage I mean we we live in a world where we’re bombarded with the baggage all the time just being in our culture right now is constantly traumatizing so I think that for me the purpose of the inner work is to develop self-awareness to know that you know we we to know what we’re carrying and to be less controlled by it you know it in some of the Buddhist Meditation they talk about noticing the gap and that doesn’t mean we don’t have the feeling but we we can notice the gap between the ceiling in the action and maybe choose differently so it’s a it’s a really slow process sometimes it’s three steps forward and four back and then it’ll be five forward and two back that it sits on going and I think it’s it’s really important to to keep that self-awareness the law you know throughout and and that’s it’s only with that but then we can then we can be in a relationship and aware of others awesome do you have any you just tips for the individual who feels like they they want to just all that rebound and the withdrawal symptoms of relationship it’s it’s it’s hard to get people to take the leap of faith to really do the inner work if they haven’t had a breakthrough yet so you know if you have any tips for people that might be listening while I want to access all this stuff but it’s it will be easier just to go and throw myself throw myself to the first take her at the singles bar our senior practice is our favorite relationship practice is eye gazing and ideas with yourself in the mirror and seal that deep reverence really don’t just look at yourself as an object we I think often objectify ourselves when we look at ourselves in the mirror really like look at yourself and be present with yourself it that’s it’s incredible and really just three to five minutes a day and people will feel change what you’re saying is super super important that I don’t know that I have a wise answer to it but we are conditioned so much to feel that we only have value to the extent that were in a relationship with another person people who choose to be single in our society are still really stigmatized there still the assumption that if you’re single it’s either because there’s something wrong with you you or you just haven’t found the right person yet and I think that it’s really really important for people to not to to step off that Marygrove Merry-Go-Round for a while to feel that if they’re in a relationship that ends that now I’ve got some time to get to know myself and I don’t have to jump right back onto the Merry-Go-Round very very hard thing to do I have a good friend who just passed away unfortunately but he was so much in this and he he fall in love with a new person every 4 or 5 months and you know be ready to sort of spend his life with them and they were moving into moving out moving in and moving be by yourself for a while and he couldn’t do it and I think that’s that’s true for a lot of people on and so then why do I have no wisdom because I just don’t know if you’re so caught up in that model and you can’t just take a breath and take a pause and say I’m going to take the time and be alone and and love the Solitude tapping into some deep love for yourself and really you know presents with yourself and being content you might not ever feel be able to find it with someone else I mean that that’s the attitude right you can’t love someone else until you fully love yourself and it did it becomes a platitude but there really is real a real part to it I mean serious stuff so it’s making me think that there could be a a new paradigm for a singles bar where you’re there to celebrate being single and he has to stay single where I’m going to have sex without the expectation that it’s got to mean I mean I think that it’s like we still you know that premarital sex thing I mentioned at the beginning we still I think are carrying that idea that sex has got it mean something more than just two people getting together to enjoy each other and that’s pretty wonderful meeting I mean Rockville over something like that out there trying to revalue the one-night stand or hookup culture there’s a misfit it leads to you know people feeling despondent devalued and in the in the studies are not proven that to be true there there are just as many people to feel a burst of energy and increasing self-esteem more Connection in the world and they don’t you know in that that one night stand that hook up was profound longevity doesn’t equal quality you know I’m saying it’s a it’s an allergy to have you ever heard of a term called bloatware it’s it’s it’s not like spyware or malware but would say you’re downloading something in you you think you’re only getting that program and then if you don’t check check the custom install they automatically inserts like five other programs in that hijack your browser in your search bar and all his stuff they call it bloatware and I feel like that’s that’s what happening when people believe that if you have sex with someone you also have to there’s an unspoken contract that now you owe them some chunk of your life and it’s so yeah it’s it’s it’s it’s a weird form of non-consent to have expectations that aren’t clearly laid out but alcoholism well but I agree totally yeah that’s that says it will be beautiful to have safe experimental environments early just list that stigma so people could stay kind of yeah I think this is all moving in in in in that that that general direction where if if less and less baggage coming in more and more gender fluidity and that helps people you know if your if you enjoy sex with both or or both genders and Beyond then it’s hard to pigeonhole one person is expecting them to give you everything and you know if you if it’s already kind of out-of-the-box you you know that you can never be in anyone’s everything because you you know you that they would desire more and that’s okay that’s kind of a nice buffer on that proprietary kind of clothes thinking too so a lot of material for people to follow up with and if you want to talk about your horizon what you might have coming up and certainly how people can connect and and and get your website info and all that good stuff getting contacts www Tantra Porsche m.com Emma’s and marks of tundra pm.com we started doing Skype sessions wish we can be everywhere where everybody wants to learn but I’m in we also work with couples and more songs privately in the New York metro area Denver at the conference in April doing the keynote there and teaching workshop and will be in Washington DC for a Sex Therapy you at the end of April and a sect Cee program and certification program and we’re going to be hanging out with you when you get your your time to do the people you know yes cool yeah cuz it is kind of a country club it’s in the it’s in more of a country club kind of template right now but it definitely can can trickle down and they’ll be time for philanthropy and I will thank you to so much for again your infinite Glory I’m a big fan and that you know I say when I start to slow down to the point of of written text and not just million podcasts and million windows open then I will be catching up on your backlog of of your books and in the meantime I I definitely just to send good prayers and and lots of Hope and I love your way so keep rocking it take care bye-bye you for listening to the touch of Time Podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition of sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples that provide ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episode if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com

Higher Paradigm Dating, Polyamory & BDSM with Isantis TPP92

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Isantis PicIn this episode I’m joined by the highly accomplished and deeply insightful Rev. Brian Krall aka Isantis Tao. He shares some background on his paths of initiation into various wisdom traditions of loving, healing, and spiritual arts. We discuss some of his holistic approaches to helping people with love, dating, relationships, polyamory,  and beyond. We also explore his unique and enlightening experience of bringing a tantric approach to kink and BDSM.

Please visit his website to access his services and resources!
www.TrueLifeDevelopment.com

About Brian:

Rev. Brian Krall, also known by his Shaman name Isantis Tao, is a Holistic Healer, Personal Development Specialist, Social Scientist, Sexual Educator, Metaphysicist, Taoist Shaman and Tantric Yogi of Sri Vidya. He has been studying Health and Holistic Healing, Personal Development, Psychology, Philosophy, Spirituality, Metaphysics & The Occult for 19 years. He was initiated as a shaman 13 years ago in a traditional Death initiation and has studied and practiced many of the world’s predominant forms of Shamanism. In February of 2010 He was initiated into one of the worlds most ancient tantric lineages, the Daksinamurti lineage, by world famous guru Sri Chaitanyananda Nantha Saraswati, at the Sri Rajarajeswari Peetham (Temple of The Divine Universal Queen Mother Goddess), part of The Sri Vidya International Tantric Temple Society. He trained there for several years in far Right Handed Tantric Hindu Metaphysics, Rituals and Sanskrit Chanting. Over the past 14 years he has authored 10 books on personal development, relationships/sexuality and metaphysics/spirituality. He has been offering personal development trainings and shamanic apprenticeships for 13 years. And has a Holistic Personal Development, Relationship and Spiritual training company called True Life Development that he has owned and operated for the past 7 years. Be sure to check out his website at www.TrueLifeDevelopment.com where he offers many free informational videos and articles, as well as next level products and programs.

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin eligible oven smoking Tacos on podcast episode number 92 I’m here with Reverend Brian Krause I’m screwed lights development and he is special educator tantric yoga in Dallas, and amongst other things and then thrilled to have another man on the show to talk about spiritual sexual past us and lightning and and and also there’s going to be some interesting exploration of the country is the first to some of the video send out there today and wanted to tell us a bit about your background how you discovered these past and how you leave them together so since the great offering she survived for the world now yes thank you very much I’m really excited about this I know that you’re going to be asking me some very interesting questions than that I don’t normally I’m pretty excited to do this and yeah the traffic to talk about the ways in which the world is BDSM in the world of Tantra and sex magick and Shamanism CareerLink ductwork for can be really interesting topics to be able to go into a little bit about myself I am a personal development I’ve been practicing and studying for almost 20 years and then I started offering and it’s offering personal development trainings about 12 years ago and I have been studying psychology and sociology for about 30 or four 15 years and I actually almost 15 years now and sexual education for about 16 years out of the ground and Company for about seven years for about 15 years and was initiated as a charm on about 12 years ago and now I am also a country was initiated to ask Ving Temple of the Divine Universal mother goddess at what it’s called a part of a temple society called International Temple society and I was in there about seven years ago and was trained intensively there so I don’t know a lot of things together really well as part of the holistic Spectrum you know how I feel at all is very integral to one another and you know it all cooperating really well I’m really excited to hear about that at all things esoteric and otherworldly and Thistle and then turn off you know from your cares if you had a OK Google moment in your adolescence or where it where the bleeding ulcer to begin I realized that modern Western Christianity just wasn’t doing it for me and everything that I’ve been taught through myself to conditioning and the status quo just wasn’t just didn’t seem to be working just didn’t seem to be well Aaron. You know the modern sofa conditioning in modern washing Christianity so I got into different forms of world religions and Eastern religions and I started looking at things with his taoism in Hinduism and also magic as well and various philosophies and metaphysics geology and physics as well as other things that were caught by Society here and didn’t seem to really make sense or really work for me you know I’m so I’m so that’s where I began my journey into the start of the truck around with all of this stuff and it just sort of a more and more over the years do you want to talk about what you doing now and how you’re taking that training and gifts and turn them the world’s biggest offerings right now is called the ultimate sex god or goddess training program for the sex life of your dreams review everything that you need to know about human sexuality from sexual psychology and building your sexual identity to sexual communication in the social science of sexuality and sexuality to seduction and foreplay and arousal to Central play and sexual techniques and sex positions and orgasms to the sort of sex magick and Tantra and then finally relationship management know about human sexuality in a very practical manner Ave development course which is like my Flagship corporate or less about me and teaches you everything you know about personal development in all of the Africa the holistic Spectrum from house to Identity in Psychology to professional development to relationships to the law of attraction in circle has worked so I called the power of you self-actualization blueprint trying to master their dating life and find the right partner or Partners I have a course called the easy automated maintenance systems which basically just further takes all the bullshit out of dating for people like myself who are very busy and don’t have a whole lot of time to invest in you know going out to bars all the time to find people on a horse that’s not in the best way and I’m looking for a sustainable and easy way to integrate dating into their lives or very high standards in Partners in no one find the right partner or partners and you know maybe even many partners this is a really great course that teaches you so that it can finish your busy lifestyle and helping to get the right partner partner and I got a lot of little and Seabrook and ecology I feel like I want to I want to connect with you and see if it’s kind of opportunity so people in Canada common offering graphic training on how busy you are what your workload is like in there may be a free consultation so that they can understand what they’re getting into and out of any questions answer that the training program is right for them and there is a good thing for them if they are interested so yeah I definitely do that some of that and I could just say I have my very similar kind of integrated multidisciplinary background on what happened I guess you could say Mastery and expertise and in various areas and being able to synthesize the past but I am curious. If I were to go into a mode where I’m just curious attempting to be like a late person if I could give you some general questions that I think they’re kind of from the try guys just text her a hold of you and modern society and just see how you were getting right with that to give the first certain things and reconstruct understanding a person’s will and being in alignment with their snow with her whatever level and then helping them grow in a way that they feel like they’re holding their own young and that your facilitator processor can I get a C7 info session questions of sort of like a demonstration or a mock-up of what type of device in and see how you were okay so if you think so what I am hearing for is with say I never said I know a little bit about the idea of Dharma and I want you to not live in the departed from negative Karma and psychodrama of unconscious relationship that’s what is a karmic Bond had enough of that and you want to be in what some people would say it in a jar Mike relationship where there is a higher level Fusion of Souls and soul circus where you’re not so much to do if your dog is but you’re actually really fine soon and storing in this optimized games of co-creation and Synergy and symbiosis with how could you help people who want to rise up to a more important quotes our next mission of a relationship as opposed to you don’t have to agree on exactly one simple schematic of a lot of people who are operating at a higher level of perfect in their sexual manifestation ritual not just hooking up in parking and being sloppy and even falling into whatever other people defined as king or some free casino scene of how to run returns if it sounds like you might have some really fit people want to live in a higher Paradigm I want to have higher Paradigm relationships and advanced level in order to get there when they relate to turn on the first thing you need to start with is yourself and your own Paradigm that you’re living in and you’re really sick for yourself your relationship to the world into nature and your lifestyle you’re sure if you’re trying to achieve her existence is a relationship for your connected to me to absolve your karma right and you need to adopt a better lifestyle Universal Law & Order on the way of life rules of compassionate lifestyle where you’re living in sync with nature and you are not harming or killing other being that you are not eating carcasses of animals doing that nature because man is not actually meant to animals who do not have a liveris digestive tracts we have a herbivore digestive tracts you. Only fall asleep with me for your body positive you’re surviving off of the pain and suffering and pain and you’re going to them on their negative energies in their car mats with also you’re taking a lower energy when you eat animals raise your credit survive can you control how does animal dies it would be probably quick and painless fear to shoot with a gun on Arrow that’s that’s not how these animals live in torture of other animals so that’s going to cause you to know where you’re taking on their comments but you’re causing suffering with me to take on bad karmas prevent you from raising your vibration at a casino hire Paradise arm and hand suffering in that you are firefighters frequencies for the spiritual dharmic wave life he realize that you are actually just a microcosm of the macrocosm curf one with the universe and a sort of manifestation of it a higher Consciousness into raise your Consciousness to a higher level and start to exist on a fire paradise and then of course you can other spiritual practices that fall into the realm of shamanism and magic and Tantra sex with yourself in the world around you by Bryson in the dating World a high Paradigm lifestyle able to transcend the status if you want to get a paradigm relationship and then you need to look for other people who are not victims of the native people who are slaves to the status quo have devised this dating program where I get you out of there dating life so it doesn’t take a lot of time and energy to find people who are up higher standard and share in their special interest and you know the sort of alternative lifestyle that they may be a part of a haystack so this is all music from the dryer the people who are here sitting and I really love this terminology and using and I’m going to do this to you and then you can share this never heard I can study of all of the new age material as consume this is the first time I’ve heard the notion of higher Paradigm. And then how to repair time of anything sexual you know dietary otherwise you’re going she has their end result is that it’s going to measurably lower than a lot of other sister higher Paradigm that transcends time and space so I love that you know because they’ve got busy Lifestyles but you know it’s it’s really just an excuse when it comes down to it because I’m going to the farmers market whenever you have time and stocking up on stuff and put it in the freezer meals for the week poster slowing their body down in the bodily processes they’re making yourself less intelligent and Also spiritually speaking to the body nearly impossible it is like trying to paddle a boat Upstream against the current Without a Paddle has been able to attain while eating anything but there are higher state because they have a healthy diet that is mainly made up of fruits and look at all the Buddhas look at all this in Hinduism and it makes everything in your life so if you find yourself functioning better but still eating more and spiritually it just raises your Paradigm so much for automatically very welcome and Horticulture and landscape design and if so yeah it’s good if you have to read about for the wedding and I repair Diamond automatic another thing that comes to mind you can always say the simple I didn’t say the farmer or pay the doctor or become a powerful modernization and Empress life hacks your reticle hear this hypothetical of time stay away from to relationship Paradigm and I can save it on it’s been abysmal technology startups for the power to connect people and make it easier to really find out what is what some of this back in thinking that’s who I am to your swing by and dating you know how do you order some chips that don’t give away your secret sauce for get people interested in learning more you know how do we find out if we’re honest ass and we want to find other people what do you suggest programs is a ton of Academia and science courses really work out everything to a science and address it from all the different angles psychology sociology spirituality into what I’m doing you don’t like basically creating your life like you’re running a business dealing with things like that that’s what I think is really really helpful that I do with a lot of my courses you know I have people your life right neurologically for success in the aspect or area that they are looking for in so there’s like two people use or Nearly Witches programming people use in their sleep disorder recalibrate their brain for success in that area which is dating I have things worked out to a social science right so I deal with the whole entire process of selecting mates and it starts with you and carry out what it is that you really want writing out what kind of relationship that you want here and then from there you can devise how it is that you would actually look for these types of people and find them he would talk to them to sort of engineer the right interactions that go towards the type of relationship do you want with these type of people on how you’re going to qualify and disqualified partner to find out if they are the right partners for you right and then from there you know I teach people how to properly flirt and then crashed into a partner to turn the instructions on how to get people out on your porch developments that you want to be having with this person and then how to create sustainable healthy relationship so that you know you’re making sure that this relationship is going to work and be successful in talking with people you know what is going on in your mind and how you are calibrating yourself for dating and how you’re going to be a partner for this person might because the only one to track people who are like you right if you want and you have to be there at your own personality and figure out what you want and how you’re going to devise lifestyle faxes for that and I’m ways of socializing that are good for that so it can be used for love and another goddess is all love because that is the only eligible power and everything gets fed on the way that was the most Exquisite beautiful Treatise on Tantra that I feel like I’ve ever heard and so it’s it’s a it’s spellbinding and I feel that I just blessed blessed to hear these these words be spoken and by you and and I’m curious if you would like to guide us through what your creative Works have been I know you’ve you’ve you’ve got too many directions since the book was released but I’m curious what do you recommend people start to discover beyond the book that that you feel most proud of and and thank you yes well you know I do see the whole thing at the adjoining and I I I came in as a bikini but I didn’t really know myself and I spent the first part of my life and I think it’s natural for beings to do that to spend the first part of their life but then who am I trying to know oneself and then that way you differentiate your paws from what has been necessarily conventionally and you you you choose this especially if you’re a person just naturally go to the beat of everybody else and you know I know. Keeney is now have been their name is being taken before I kind of embodiment within but you know what they represent in essence is in at the embodiment of a feminine wisdom principal they are archetypes of wisdom wisdom which comes at you naked because it is naked it butt naked truth it’s naked just radiating blessed through every pore and it’s disruptive because it passed away all the things that you because I think you relied on and all those artifice is an old as he go dramas she just Trampled Under Foot and lost and she’s drunk on the blesiv share spontaneous being yeah in the other part of my life before I discovered Tantra and the reflection that I came in just trying to see who am I and in that I said who am I and how do I fit into the culture that I find myself in and it’s my own self and what other projections of others and how am I seeing and how do I see myself and all these things I was bringing into my experience of and I found the technique of collage and that was when I was doing my thesis of surrealist artists map sons did a number of collage books using old engraving and in those books he put together the Engravings to create seamless new world but they were very Fantastical you know people had wings and snake came out between the Pavements and the real encounters happen but now look like they were meant to be like that all the time but he’s instructed them and you couldn’t see where they looked. Together they were a new world and I said I thought you could kind of see make it look like it’s not. But it’s actually fuse into a new reality and you can also really joke people’s perceptions by bringing together the things they wouldn’t normally associate together but by the juxtaposition you to create this what they call it in there so am I use those those tools of collage and use the loss of images of myself had my own photo taken and put myself in that so that I could be both see the Muse and the one I mean the object of somebody else’s view but with photographic and then I also made three dimensional objects and I use those cool things in a lot of pieces life cost of myself my own head button and then like us about the people that was similar to using photographic call out your photos Honda back in 73 I had an exhibition code opening which was all about food and the roster so I’m bringing together you know that the body of woman with the whole idea of the table together in that and it was very shocking to people dressed up I had a whole wedding cake constructed I’m prevented myself as with a van everything adds the wedding cakes at the invitation for the exhibition it was in a being fully engaged in in in the eye and after that I forgot I started it went through for 7 years which was a major I guess you’ll call now to send what was that word wasn’t used at the time but it was me looking at all the skeletons in the cupboard I had a relationship with this filmmaker and we were meant to be doing all these projects together and it never really asked you fully manifest and then we broke up and it was my whole drama with woman’s theater group and my what with them kind of ripping apart their relationship and then I just had to process all this cuz I would say I’m sorry can I ask you something really quick I don’t want to cry or be a gossipmonger anything but I feel that the the Dynamics between creative creative relationships romantic relationships and those the way those play out the Ender play especially if there is I don’t know what that was in your case but I’m I’m really curious to see what wisdom you would have to share about you about using tantric skill sets and tools to harmonize human personality conflicts that’s a big big question a lot to to explore but if you were able if you were confronting these sort of issues were you able to at least somehow raise the vibration you know even if there are deal breakers and things had to be you know closed off but I’m just curious if you were successful at all and applying principles or by Christopher Hills my you know the person who built this property here he did a book called creative conflict which was all about heart-to-heart communication and about people needing to be hard I’m so it’s at whole dynamic between having an exchange with someone else but that person letting you know after you’ve spoken from your heart but they have understood it reflecting it back in their own words to you and that you do that back and forth and it actually creates a whole different kind of feedback loop the misunderstandings that often have a good exercise based on you know Christopher understanding of those principles a yogi eyes pop from being a western scientist animal and he was all these things wrapped together but that was a very good example of principles into the relationship Dynamic but for myself you know that it’s been so many different relationships and even oceans and you know how many dimensions the last to it and each one I’ve had a few major relationships in my life apart from many other relationship but as a few major ones you know that had bad that even a beauty and then Gloria and the agony and you know all of that and I always say there’s no such thing as my student so I like to think we’re all students protection is setting in the area relationship dynamic especially going to the mat the male-female dynamic at this particular time on the planet is in such a challenge in at the rest so many areas that go across because she knows you think of just love and attraction and vibration if you like you know that conventional I’m just you know that Dynamic the spice of life and energy vibrations which you know I make everything so complex and setting it this time the whole sexual identity is something that so you know I’m in the midst for what it’s going to be the next evolutionary stage of how we’re going to be able to manage male-female dynamic in a new way and of course you know the true Keys the Contra do do hold those keys because it is a true and which ones have it if you are able to hold that Crucible and a gaining and it didn’t. Do you have the real chance to be able to see the Divine in each other and bring the Divine fully into that invaded relationship and that you know it’s just the the Beauty and the glory and the end of the immortal France and get moving into our discontent touched any magical ways but at the moment I’m playing a lot of challenging in our relationship not only to each other but to a whole The Crucible of plant it up and down with her that you know that the interpersonal has to also be expanded I believe attitude tantrica to include the whole interaction with all of our natural world at this point and really bringing that into every meditation and interaction really because we can’t afford to lie if that helps eco-warrior and was all about planting gardens and saving trees and I still am now but I feel like what I’ve added to that with Tantra is just a ever-deepening reverence for creation and for the Divine the astral the Earthly Plains all the things we often take for granted I just want to be in that state of reverence and awe that I think most people achieve that when they go into the Great Outdoors and then go hiking or skiing they they have a tantric sort of shocked if acacian of there at least their parts of their system get woken up an activated unfortunately it doesn’t seem to be enough to make them into real hardcore activists a lot of the times but I feel like the there is an ecological agenda that is very transparent and very intrinsic to the path that that romance with with the life-giving fertility of this divine feminine and if you know a lot of people experience very direct communion with the wisdom intelligence and directives of Gaia through this practice so do you want to talk a bit about that kind of revelatory ecological revolution of Tantra if you will be glory after the sexual Revolution and I would save the kind of a cool resonance that I’ve I’ve told condemned presentation to some of her because I really believe especially in the cold vibration that she said we’ve got to start treating the Earth like a lover not like a mother and it when you treat her like a mother it’s you expect the mother to get unconditionally do everything for you and you don’t have to give anything back but if you treat it like a lover than you you know show that you have to give love to that lava and it says to a slow and so that’s an important shift and I think that’s a good thing to bear in mind and I had one time when I was in my twenties and experience with some strange object did Johnny and in that time I had what I still feel program the most orgasmic experience that I had when I had it I was just lying back on this massage table I wasn’t touching myself but I was having these orgasm just passed through my whole body and what I was feeling at the time I felt like I was body of the Earth has style and the every single every single of an insect’s wing and the slithering of the body of a snake and the rustling of leaves everyone going through my whole being beautifully spoken and who could not want to experience that who doesn’t anybody out there not enjoy orgasm it’s a very small number and to the to think that it can become such a flow state of being that level of Sensitivity I kind of almost feel like what most people are striving for when it when they’re trying to get off you know whatever gender or sex they may be is there their they’re basically trying to use friction sex or some sort of high-intensity friction contact in order to kind of chisel or sandblast or break through all this plaque that separating their nervous system and their chakra system from the cosmic Bliss that is a constant wave of orgasmic energy so the more you dissolve that plaque through right action through dharmik practice and purification of all kinds that are very well enumerated in the tatras you know an in yogic texts and Vedic texts there’s a path way to clean your stylus and get more of that orgasmic slow going and it’s definitely so abundant and not so scarce like everything else that we’ve been tricked about as far as the scarcity mindset vs. the abundance mindset so that’s just a follow-up that’s from me and and now that we’re coming to a close on time do you want to talk about some of the anymore highlights from your creative works that people should be looking for then about what’s what’s the current and future of an exorcism it was called and said some the book that I put out and that was trying to look at all these psychological States and and who am I and is that I could dance we both kind of psycho and then I come out at the house and then I have discovered time trip by this point and then I meet Nick Douglas as I say and then we went on to do another College book called man the next to see which was just a celebration of coming out of the confines of this black and white house and all the Western Heritage Inn in the Himalayas and just everything is one century psycho-spiritual play of of everything the profaned the sacred oil mixed together and it was a it was just we were enjoying and I wish I knew how to do, what a wonderful tool it was expecting this and that was that serious and then at the same time we did the secret dakini Oracle which was the 64 card Oracle system in systems put that out and that’s being around working since then then I went to to the Caribbean I was there for 15 years at I-10 and time got a long story short I realized I was there because of the embedded energy of the Arawak Indians whooping for alcohol Caribbean free Columbus and the Magical and pure kind of society who had been swept under the carpet of history and speaking to me and so I firmly believe that the indigenous way of life is the way of creating sustainability for the planet if we can start to embrace him understand that engage instead of in a friend that to the side as the Civilization V how to be in tune with the spirit and all things so that was my home to that way of life but I did for my portraits and they are like Indians in my time that and then I came back to America in 94 after I was I was here before that New York I was working on my phone from about the Arawaks and I finish that and then it was then that I met Christopher Hills and came here and then for the time here I am held a lot of events dr. Christopher past but she did the 97 to bring in the goddess energy and I still would like you to describe them when we talk to them right to coming on on on the car that you were interested in the way of using the energy that is that in these events and we’re all these awful waves so all that happening and I still while we can offer them to the goddess and then she can give her grace to us and doing for several years he has many people from the whole graveyard from performance thoughts and in the area bringing them in and having people get their offerings to Spotify and then one. I made the 64 that key Miracle which isn’t Eeveelution of the nlra but this time each of the energy that he needs and I have 64 Oracle and I hope to do a nap cuz if it can meet chat father and that is like a temple for the goddess and an Oracle phone just working on more three-dimensional pieces the game and coming back into a focus of customizing they oughta game having reached out to all the Divine archetypes imma come back into a more personal expression and now that I’m done now I just want to see you on tour with the museum installation with all this I’m not the biggest art Aficionado in the world but of course I’ve I’ve been a fan of Alex Grey and H R Giger and what I after this conversation I feel like I got a lot of catching up to do on on what you put out that I wasn’t aware of and I’m really going to enjoy it so it is a sort of a sumtur got some guidance that you could provide to say hey go and you know you can go to your website and in and just order purchase what you have or their YouTube videos or any other ways to access your go to website since I mean Menards.com has a broad spectrum of the word that I’ve been talking about and then 64 the numbers that Kenny. Org is where you can go to consult the Oracle and but also that the gallery of the images of the Thai King is there and then the Blue Lotus pod. Com which is rstudio site which has some videos and Son photography so those are few things that you can look at to start with and I haven’t all page on Facebook too with how about Instagram of you if you got on that platform say it took me a while because I just have so many projects and engagements of all kinds I didn’t want to be distracted by something that was another no platform of that nature however I am totally convinced now that it is one of the most strategic leverage points for anybody with the message or Consciousness that can create visual content it’s amazing I just thought of something I wanted to say and it was about relationship and resolution from a perspective that we were talking about mentioning my exorcism though that thing about The Break-Up and processing of the relationship and that’s what spurred our conversation about relationship with my partner at the time and next month or beginning of next month I’m going over to the UK to go to a conference and speak that that’s about this film makeup Peter Whitehead and over the last few years we can get back together in the sensitive film that we did at the time which type of being shown all those years and I was able to show that the Hayward Gallery in London and oh so I’m speaking at the conference about him because it’s a whole retrospect if they take him to the archives at this University and son a solution of some quite powerful can you describe it at all or just footage that we shot at the same time I did all these photographs that became the basis of the footage of myself and my girlfriend and Peter Shaw hit in this old derelict mansion house could love and it’s all just showing it Roar has it came out to the time off to all these years after 1969 that was shot and I guess this unit many takes but it’s like in this time the space that it’s like a magical experience that’s amazing so is there any hope that we will get this that’ll get to see a bigger audience or what do you have his first plants with that now is scheduled to reach a larger audience is a documentary that just being made of me he was young filmmaker Cove it started walking on it in 2012 when I was over in the UK I’m getting a tour at the gallery about my work and he was excited and said, I shouldn’t interfere with you and that interview grew into the documentary what she’s dressed now completed and it’s all of my early walk treat antra I’m in London and a relationship with a woman that hole. And it’s called Penny Slinger Out of the Shadows quite a good release coming up shortly support and Discovery and in the promotion and I’m definitely want to continue to explore in and talk with you about how to support the mission that that was laid out and and I feel like someday I will somebody will be calling me and asking me what was the story behind what brought me to interview and people like you if this is my contribution to the world and there’s just an ongoing interest and it’s so interesting to see to get this background and to have to really just go on a sort of a Time a Time trip into these you know these different points in in your creative history and really if I could just ask you a couple more questions before we before we call it a night do you have a couple more minutes being this kind of bridge through these was one of the things to me that’s very important in the manifestation of my life’s Mission if you like is to be able to be active and relevant at this time in my life when I am old and that the wisdom of the wise woman knows he didn’t pack anything back into society and that’s what he need so much to be able to swear I act now I’m not wanting to be Destin historical figure but I am for the active right now I love that thank you so much yeah that’s I’m so thrilled again that we’re having this conversation and I feel like the the need is is greater than ever to access the wisdom of the elders going back yuno thousands of years and the question I actually want to ask you who really is like the what the let’s see the shocked it country code is the goddess worshiping country cuz whether they would be considered on the left hand path of the right hand path or generally I think more realistically it was a it was a sort of he was ambidextrous it was an ambidextrous way to be in in in the shock to Tantra schools where you were dabbling we’re not doubling but really actually working consciously with Desire with with Will with your will and also with the Divine elements but hopefully with Integrity to Lenny’s trainings you would be in service to add a v or in the process so that you would be sort of putting yourself to work for the Divine will and getting your commission of the small things that your small mind actually wants in this small slice of the universe or the universe and if I if I simplify what the essence of the positive empowered healing Reverend Liberatore nature of of the more feminist Tantra is about purification of those parasites of the heart that you mention you know earlier and if if that was the intention back then against the forces that Humanity was up against at that time that they warned us the forces are going to get worse it’s the Kali Yuga World age and we’re going to be inundated with these negative entities once again the technology that you were exploring and has continued to explore and her still as you said ready to bring to the present moment at this time of absolute sexual Madness more than ever through porn the the question is it took me awhile to get to it but how do you advise the world now about the need for Tantra what are your what are your words of wisdom and take as much time as is you have pleased to give us some guidance now Where Do We Begin what do we focus on and prioritize if we have limited attention spans you know yeah please and that was about a left hand or right hand Tantra and as far as I’m concerned they only real difference in a kind of pacification is that the right hand is to do with meditative Union with say the daikini and the right left hand is to do with actually taking an inverted Shakti to realize that Union but it’s both to do with the inner Union with the Divine being and then the interesting cuz I had it seems so simple but I had a revelation between like tantric meditation and the meditation of other religious forms is you’re not sublimating that energy that section energy you actually using that but what the right hand while you’re using it but with this entire no. Can you actually making love with the internal. Kini so it’s it’s using everything rather than denying everything so I just really wanted to address that because when you say to balancing photos of course you know the play is at the Contra dealer is that Tina between the outer and inner and other call BNI it within the soccer not the gross body that’s why it’s called the second body the energy body where that is you know that that in a erotic channel of energy where in at the Statue of Santa up to the crown and it’s all one energy and I said that they that the blessed is when you envision and experience the union of Shiva and Shakti in the crown chakra meaning like completely in their territory around but fillet in the cellular matrix honey and milk into the Lotus at the hot and got us that and that is The Crucible and that’s if the dentist thing to focus on in the inner plane that’s it because it’s about the dog and dangerous about the dog that hot ass between me and have a claim and it’s true that you know list for meditation that you can stop with the chief Zach time does all the time male body vibrates but we’re actually wonderful wave energy that you are manifesting it’s that I want it that you’re tuning into it with the gift-giving wow so the right-hand and left-hand path are not antagonistic that’s an illusion make the pads Chrysler make an ex or something in a beautiful dress right as bad as it spirals as it should beautiful thank you for that clarification I think that’s going to help a lot of people yeah so so I’m dressing and red and white snake spider and around but you know the contract principle is to get that energy than going into the central Channel which just you know is this I’m at wave of infinity no bottomless and topless photos of spiraling into that Central Channel yes yes thank you so much it’s as beautiful as it’s no wonder that your visual artist because you’re you creating a beautiful art form in the Maginot just through the word so and yeah thank you for that I am very excited to see what you continue to develop and and I definitely feel like his you’re saying it’s if it’s if the wisdom that you’ve been carrying is not percolating through the generations the way that it it we would hope for it to then I want to be stepping up as somebody who who really makes effort to connect people who are interested in erotica and neurotic media and the wisdom teachings that that you you share to be able to access them so hopefully this is one small step in that direction with doing this podcast and I’m going to definitely look forward to just catching up in schooling myself in your work yeah any other things you want to share before we go tonight you are sending out many good powerful vibrations to everyone who possibly tunes into this that they fix that part of being that country Quiva of the own Destinies and put themselves in the center of that own mandalas so that they a defect not just cause at the same time of cost aligning to the Divine headlights in the sky but your fulcrum and your guide so that you are at course but your turkey day at effect of the goddesses well, all right good night thank you so much pain he will text you and take care, and click on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple after bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818 to 7515 3 or emo band at Country Park. Com Damas de

The Modern Day Sexual Man with Hypnotica TPP78

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Hypnotica Pic In this episode I’m proud to explore the raw depths of modern masculinity with mind scientist and men’s lifestyle guru Eric Von Sydow, a.k.a. Hypnotica.

He shares his experience navigating the sexual politics of polyamory in the sexually charged environment of gentlemen’s clubs and beyond. He’s lived the life that most men dream of and fantasize about and he’s developed training programs and resources to help others along in their paths towards sexual mastery.

About Hypnotica:
For 23 years now, mind scientist / men’s lifestyle guru, Eric Von Sydow, aka Hypnotica, has been inciting men to enhance their sexual well being. Recognized as the “Inner Game Guru” he has pioneered the field of male sexuality. As one of the “founding fathers” of the men’s movement in masculinity and lifestyle, he was an early mentor to now-famous figures like Neil Strauss (“The Game”) and David DeAngelo (“Double Your Dating”). Thousands of men boast success not only in their personal love relationships but also in their overall lives under his tutelage.

Hypnotica has recently released, “Modern Day Sexual Man,” a new mastery program for men. With ““Modern Day Sexual Man,” Hypnotica is laying claim to unleashing “the most advanced sexual techniques for men that the world has ever seen.” The components of the project are a culmination of decades of scientific research, relationship coaching, intuition and personal experience, designed to upgrade the modern man into a genuine “superbeing.”

Please visit Hypnotica’s website at
http://www.hypnotica.org/

Please also join his Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/255694274565077/

AI Generated Transcription:
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello their beloveds welcome to Tantra Punk podcast episode number 78 I’m doing an interview with Eric Von Saito and we’re going to be talking about the modern-day Sexual Man program he also is known as hypnotika and has a very amazing and very rich background and in many different modalities involving healing sexuality in the arch of the mind so I can’t wait to have you Eric tell us as much as you can about your background and we’ll talk about the modern-day Sexual Man program cool well I hope that we have a great conversation we’ve already talked a great deal already so there’s some really cool things to talk about my story is I was a young kid, growing up fast but we just get them back in the day before the internet it was just kind of maybe play boys here and there and I was always interested in sex and we’re looking at it at least and I was not the best looking kid in the world I didn’t have a lot of social skills and I remember consciously just making a decision that this is something that I want to master that I want to really get good with and it was kind of my own journey and I Journey took me into various experiences in my lifetime that where I force myself to be in the presence of women in the feminine energy and twos to absorb it to be around all the time to really understand what it’s about and then bring it even to a deeper level of connecting more intimately with women and that goes all the way back to you know in high school started join the choir Kokosing my understanding is 80 girls and there was no that’s a good place to start and then I went to a show choir and then after that physical guy and after that I went up to Santa Barbara junior college and studied a little bit and I remember there was a girl who was a dancer and she used to ask if I could come along and just protect her and parties and stuff like this and that became one thing and that’s when you know I had some experience with the dancers I got into a strip club and for the last 23 years have been running strip clubs security as far as general manager of a little bit more extreme sexual nature and in that environment I was absolutely just to have so many different varieties of women and mindsets and sexuality and their energies and mindsets just to learn about and fireman you can’t not be sexually for tacious and I think sign 8 or so I was given a very cool or a created to agree a very cool half way to learn about what most guys don’t understand or get to experience so by me taking all this experience I was giving back and that’s where the hypnotika name come from his back with the internet was just the game it was a lot of places to learn about this and there was a couple group two that were there in that tire place near it my super name was subnautica if you wanted to teach guys or help guys learn what I was learning because I was learning in a rapid Pace that most guys don’t do when you have 3250 dancers exotic dancers if you please send you got testosterone you got different menstrual periods going on with women it’s a very intense learning situation and from that with what I was arrested in because you don’t back that I was a member I had a tantra book and I was going through it in high school and and learning about it this whole thing was to discover more of who I was at the time it’s been a very cool process that way because when I first started I have no sexual experience and I was plagued up until I was by I don’t know him in twenty one years old with premature ejaculation and it was just as frustrating as a man so the more I learn the more that I was able to give back into really going to go into these extreme areas to help man in and say hey you know I’ve walked into pathway I can understand it a little bit so that you can understand the territory or I can help bring out what I’ve learned to give to you so that’s been the path that I’m on and have it on and now I’m at the phase where I pretty much seen it done it all and it’s now it’s more of a time of reflection way I feel like I’ve kind of pass the Baton a little bit until I can more of the Elder stage and kind of looking back it’s like this is what my testosterone is like right now and just the ability as kind of an elder to give back and not be so inundated and just that raw testosterone while you’re not seeing the bigger picture now I can like look back in and really kind of key from my Amor experiential we’re being so it’s a very cool thing that I’m doing so that’s pretty much where I’m at and I’ve developed a lot of programs really specialize in men’s confidence and sexual confidence and giving them techniques and idealistic ways to think of how to be with a woman and new ways to think about how intimate and also just how to be more masculine I’m more conscious masculine man and step out of the old Paradigm and really brings the picture of more well-rounded Renaissance type of man which I think is very needed at the time especially where we’re at in this phase of evolution on our planet wow that is so I said I just D Palace to hear this really really deep I feel like the first thing that comes to mind is it pure spiritual person you’re supposed to be acetic in a lot of I don’t even call and traditions but a lot of authoritarian kind of anti pleasure anti-flash spiritual paths that there’s this taboo around being fully embodied in so that you have this throughout recent history this extreme segregation knows very sexually successful men and very special called spiritually evolved during night and then and so whenever there is a man walking the Earth today who can speak from having experienced abundant sexual adoration and worship and make an art form out of it and also keep his balls and be able to function on the physical material playing in and actually get shit done and it’s a beautiful alchemy that really hard to achieve so if if can I can we go back a bit into some of the chapters of your story so I can kind of get a better sense yeah I like I said I’m I’m just so interesting to me to know that this is possible cuz I don’t want to feel like that there’s like a Chasm between the exploitation of women in the adult entertainment industry and Tantra or sacred sexuality but that there’s there can be an Alchemy of honoring the feminine so it’s a very complex get simple idealistic way of thinking about that and a lot of people and maybe this is a gift that I was given to be in that environment of the gentlemen’s clubs in things like this I really got to be it was just that like intimate where there is a certain trust level annual bringing girls on no private parties in and looking after like I really had to be there bodyguard very intimate Avalon and the conversations that I was able to get into with women and and I’ve always have to build women up in that because there’s a lot of guys that are just ignorant and you walk around your tits are too small to Razor’s Edge easily overstep your bounds and a lot of guys once they learn a little bit of power of influence can become manipulative but it it’s walking that bounce where you’re coming across get your being open enough where they can do what they want to do and you’re not trying to hook up and what I mean by that is you’re not trying to get them submitting to you on that level where it’s lot of guys are with jealousy and things like this they want to control the woman and very interesting to have gone through that and to be in intimate places where you harbor freight shipping be intimate and what you were talking about earlier and about the sexuality and the purity of it believer absolutely made from pleasure and we were made for pleasure I mean that’s it that’s it’s built Within walkthrough The Root chakra and the solar plexus chakra you can’t avoid that at the most powerful ones that connect us to the Earth and to our nature and to be able to find that balance of giving love and any guy who goes through this and explores this is going to get beat up a little bit that’s the crazy thing like you think about cakes that is important you guys are supposed to talk about this is that I’m a man beautiful and tan trick dog in the world like that so if that full balance and it’s not going too much to the laughter too much to the right because I know there’s guys that are very on trick and they’re very feminine stick and agree but you know it’s like they don’t have that flexibility to go into the fiery masculine and so you know they stay there because there’s no polarity polarity and there’s no flexibility self the ability to keep a woman guessing as far as your own Sexual Energy on one level of the great that you could do that but you’re just in the tundra you’re doing the southside of that if you don’t have that Rod western-style to you don’t have that balance so it’s very complex that has kind of come through and it’s it’s been the last 20 years about this machine that a lot of guys you really step into the sexual well there’s maybe I don’t maybe 5-6 that I’ve studied personally rajneesh back in the day or show that was kind of the first start of it but it’s something that’s just so needed and especially the balance now because so many people watch no PornHub reporting so in their minds so that we don’t just think that it’s too far east side and that Rod dominant we’re being if you know you have the ability to be sexual you have the ability to be loving you have the ability to be dominant you have the ability to Be Frisky whatever it is hopefully this new man coming through is able to be okay with it in and not be shameful about it and we’re at about right now to degree because if you’ve seen a lot of what’s going on a man have to be the guy who goes out there and says you know hey how you doing that’s just the way it is a nature and be proud of it and we got to figure out a balance with the women that are like okay I don’t want to be bothered with every guy just stopped doing and and you guys got what you wanted you to be bothered you guys to get bored very quickly so where does very weird stage in and I’m kind of past that phase I’m going to marry still sexual but I’m not like in the face would like 21 or that’s just brought these younger kids if they can get this information and intent to figure it out because it’s with apps like Tinder and all these things there’s a lot of stuff moving on and even though the development of power a kid proceed like when I was growing up I had play boys I was okay how to play Boyce okay now you got a six-year-old kid on the computer going to the mines that so the best that I could do with my stuff is just lay down a super strong basic Foundation that I think it’s healthy and so they have a at least a century point to get to so these are kind of some of the things that I hope to help develop and pass on so that they have stuff to go from because we did it I’m so glad to hear you say that I feel like my heart is just a swelling because it’s unimaginable High terrific what’s happening to the neural physiology of with porn addiction note prepubescent humans on this planet I mean if it’s mortifying and I feel like if I were a parent which I’ve in this life I’ve chosen very young like I got a vasectomy and I don’t have any progeny and I’m not planning on it because I feel like some of us have got to dedicate Our Lives to do in the cultural healing so that the world is suitable to innocence again in developing sexual Rites of Passage and having like you’re saying and I healthy template for development that integrates 6 Rowdy spirituality and The Feminine principles and masculine fiery principles but we’re so lost and really but so many people are in denial about exactly what you just said so I just got to thank you for saying that I mean it’s a crisis and I feel like we’re in a science fiction John Carpenter film right now with was coming through with pouring and everything fake who’s going to stop the thing that we got to stop this from spreading and I don’t like the guy part of torn because the women have been brainwashed to believe that women in their photos like that’s their Worth or worse comes in their external looks and and it’s all about you no sex and you know what can I get an end and that is a scary thing in itself so hopefully you like said that we can live there can be some kind of balance because I’d say right now a lot of the women are out of balance to where it’s at in the middle out of bounds to 2 degree it’s weird to say this because I’ve been doing it for like 23 years it’s still in the infancy stage and hopefully the young women of this day can’t understand like they’re not just subjected to being a a sex object even though the sex is wonderful and and then no matter what are going to visually you look at a woman and she’s mathematically proportional and be attracted to that it’s just a very strange thing in Warren this is just kind of my mind Toronto is actually use it sometimes when I’m going out and I’ll put on PornHub for 5 minutes before I’m going out because I want my sexual pheromones to be activated so this is just a tip that I do is y’all watch 5 minutes as soon as I feel my body become activated like it’s like I feel like my energy are activated in and then I go out and do my thing and I feel like I have that energy so there’s good parts of it and there’s no unusual parts of it so it’s just a matter of I guess how you utilize it as long as you don’t deplete your energy is sit there and jerk off five times a day should a state that also for the record that I think erotica conscious erotica and pornography really even like the sound of the word it did I don’t know if it’s because what it’s been through but I think erotic Cinema and being aroused by it using it to expand your horizons and I can say is in a couple relationship again here are reinforcing if one person has a desire that they like to have met that could involve you know one or more additional people doing you know or it could just be I’d like to explore something will here is a visual reference to something and there’s there’s it’s a fraction of the total amount of points out there but there is at a holy see if you will like a light there is a light at the end of the tunnel which is not just educational boring you know instructional doesn’t have to be boring but it can be a way to Blossom Consciousness and to give people access and certainly for people who have non mainstream sexual preferences in orientation and gender identities than to be able to identify with role models who are doing something beautiful with a wholesome and loving and at least consensual you know and hopefully real then there is a beautiful I guess post porn opportunity for now that the it’s easy to produce something relatively compared to the 70s when it was more expensive sake then there will be a Consciousness revolution in pornography and hopefully we’ll be seeing a lot of the stuff that you’re teaching about so on that more hopeful note I have just a couple more questions about to gentlemen’s club chapters and then we can talk more about specifically what it is that you’re helping men do with your program so I was just living in Vegas for a while and I got kind of an inside scoop on a lot of into workings of that world and it’s been really fascinating to me and I’m really excited to get some insight also from you about how the politics and personalities and even astrology and like you said the menstrual cycles it’s such as an ecosystem of Egos and Flash and drooling men who don’t know what they’re missing out on having a really reduced flattened perception of what a woman is potential is was just shaking her ass or whatever it’s like you were being in that world I’m curious what some maybe some stories you know what were some stories they were really touching to your heart when you saw Andy women instead of a cat fighting competing they actually were building alliances and supporting each other or you know doing something positive and create or just some success stories or anything that can kind of give us some Redemptive juice from that world cuz I think it’s about to pour or repulsed by at 7 ish to Repose quite a lot of ways are they feel like they’ve got a really fight tooth-and-nail to carve out some piece of it to be empowered but maybe you have some insights it sounds like you’ve had the right mentality I don’t know you know for how deep you have these philosophies going back to that time but I love to hear some Redemptive stories or anything interesting she’s got her own opinion about what I do bring it down back of the women coming to how can it be a misogynistic Factor perverted they were called Temple dancers thank you you okay they end up becoming strippers through the the Puritans in the end the people that we were afraid of that Sexual Energy that women have it the beauty that they have that only I really can put out on that level so with the women so I have always noticed over the years and it’s one of these things that he personally notice at first is there’s not a lot of women in my 23 years of working strip clubs I’ve only really come across seven women that were just fire just pure fire that had that raw sensual Marilyn Monroe which type of energy of Seduction that were just able to ever full-bodied able to just to get into it and to spread that bit a lot of women that I was with intimately take them down in the bedroom and get them okay with a lot of their own sexuality and to break out of a box of what they were used to sexually as far as for the way that they are the way that are able to be vulnerable the way that they’re able to express themselves if they’re doing oral or physical or speaking up so a lot of it it has to be to the man being so confident in his masculine nature that he can direct God and really help a woman Express who she is in a very safe environment so that she can expressive and not feel shame about doing whatever she’s doing and at the same time be okay to have a intimate sex partner that you can come over when you want twice three times a week and everything’s okay there’s no limit to the interaction and the the more you can do that in the more that you can be open about it and that was one thing that’s challenge me over the years you have a wife but I also have a few women that were intimate that lives with me and I even lived across the street I have like a Airbnb house and I had some of the girlfriends that were there so finding that balance and how that works and it always goes smooth guaranteed but finding out how women interact with door the women and their own trust issues sometimes they have at their selves or steam at maybe I get along with one girl and maybe she doesn’t know she’s been very sabotage in all that so big you able to overcome that in or to somehow facilitating hold space and kind of manage personality conflicts and politics I’m very curious education that needs to take place with a lot of communicating that needs to take place there is a lot of really understanding that has to happen because when you’re in environments like this there’s a lot of old school or factors that can come up where it’s person feels like she’s not being loved enough or makes you feeling jealous over here and my belief is that love is only additive love is finite in nature like if a person says they love one person has a son and then a dog does only that amount of love that you had also to have to be taken call Matt so now instead of a percent that person was loved you have to give y’all 25% to the to the child and another 10% to the dog and so now he’s only being loved 75% to give players that were involved in the people that were my life it wasn’t easy for them as well but you know was one of these things that you have a free place to explore it and sometimes it can get Fiery and sometimes it’s beautiful and you find out what your balance is for the first you know there was a point where was like five women and I was lucky enough to be in my mind you know being a young kid that’s like all this is what I want you don’t realize what am I doing I found out in as any man to find out what my personal balance for what very close ones that I can be trusted with an intimate with if I go to one I feel a little claustrophobic and so it really comes down to knowing yourself and being okay to explore it and you have to be open enough I’m going to partake in this if they want to do whatever they want to do to I have to I can’t be a hypocrite so I have to because if you’re going to play the game what a lot of people say it’s a sting on a person you got to be able to take that sting back and be able to say okay you know if I have to experience what they’re experiencing and so he learned a lot and you think you learned a lot of a lot of different levels put the nice thing is is once you go through any kind of figure out and you get through the crashing waves I stay up on the sand you know when you get a little bit deeper you understand who you are and you got to find your own balance and from there. A very peaceful way of being because it just comes down to this is what who I am this is what I like and it’s become very clear and definiteness of purpose comes to mind and then if you find people that are on the same team it becomes even cooler like when they’re really cool things that I enjoyed about living, polyamorous and I like so you know I grow my own food. I’m extremely healthy green drinks well I like to do three green drinks a day if I can. I’m usually not you know I’m usually may be good for one but the drink three times a day is a pain in the ass but you know when you got to clean it got to put away it takes a lot of time but if I wake up and I’m committed to everyone and I want everyone to be happy your I easily can make one green drink okay so the middle person the most days I can make one and the last person didn’t take the entire blunt if you know you’re living together and something goes wrong with something hey you know what had you tip in and get the person’s car fixed or whatever or if a person needs a little bit of love or their feelings I’m very big in the community and exploring that is what my house is kind of crazy cuz I have a woman’s had girls dad trying to get away from crazy boyfriends and biker boyfriend and I believe you know women trying to get them off meth and drugs and then come here and right now I have a woman who is here with trying to get away from her husband and it’s a very big community of women and I’m kind of like that guy in the middle who’s that stability for them and it’s very empowering to which also use healing for them is I’m not hitting on you a lot of these women aren’t you I believe at this point if it’s there and it mixes cool if not you don’t have to force anything yet I just I guess that I’m at and so it’s just very refreshing to see how women can also be healed by being in a situation where a guy is just letting them be safe and it’s part of my past is to explore this in to see how it works but you got to put yourself in the fire and you got you got to be willing to get bumped and bruised and people questioning you who you are and and having a lot of bad. Talk about how people sometimes my neighbors and they think that they like that’s the dumbest thing like I’ma throw parties and I’m up here but I’m like 3 minutes so they’re like they have to put what they think is on it because they can’t imagine one guy having four five six girls living with him and not knowing what to call it because they’ve never experienced it so they can think by releasing questions like I get phone calls from everyone thank you a lot of it has to do with their own wanting to explore that and they don’t have anyone to go by so if you put yourself in there probably what you’re going to run into and just start the map is rudimentary as a map is so that the generations coming up have something to start with instead of having to revamp and reset the tire you know what I hear it’s beautiful or you’re not hitting on it because it’s coming abundantly and flowing to the conversation I guess is really looking at I-5 had a similar experience if when you stop running a predator energy of need and Des creation and unfulfilled desire and and you exude confidence and you make your intentions clear from the beginning you allow women or whoever you prefer to feel that it’s the ball’s in their court if they want to pursue you know they don’t have to bear them to be a big game of chasing around and being dishonest or just put it out there and you’ll be surprised I can speak from experience that it’s not like you’re being passive in you’re not I mean if your intentions are set very clear and salt from the beginning and you don’t manipulate like you’re saying you don’t play games you don’t play people against each other or like most people would be in some Jerry Springer nightmare under these conditions but if you trashed I feel like that’s is that for you while you’re filming comes from just in abundance and trust me and creating a safe space and you don’t have to be using all these tactics to mine fukin control people because you letting them just be free really is what it comes down to is that it is a very weak point of view and it’s not going to last it just built on Sand is what that is it takes a lot more diligence it takes a lot more come for who you are to be able to be in that environment and it because you know it could go left and right you could come back and grab the girls at all yet on which I’ve experienced a few times has a lot of women were interested in exploring the polyamorous relationship but as they go on which is good to explore because they’re like you know what I prefer one-on-one so one of the things that you have to experience and you can get hurt along the way but you know hurting something that is like a bruise it’s just a bruise that’s all it is it doesn’t break and you may even say you love her someone this isn’t really for me which is okay but then when a person leaves you know you’re so you have to be masculine and vulnerable to be able to take that hit to a degree and not cower away from it and not closed down but be more open and understanding that softness and that vulnerability what we talked about because a lot of people think it’s a little bit too feminist chords to fluffy there’s nothing fluffy about being able to deal with a person you know maybe leaving your life if you’re interested or you have feelings for him it says it’s just raw experiential and in being ballsy enough and brave enough to experience at and to know that hit a person could leave this is very brave so it’s a very very masculine thing and I don’t want to do it like all we have is you know that’s raw intimate loving really knows it’s just it’s wrong it’s just no bulshit by Fitz really rise it get so there’s only like I said there’s only Dynamics what a person is going to be a master there’s so many years is 24 and I noticed okay I’m still kind of very attracted to die still very much wanted it but it’s a little bit different and that 20 is a 28 finger a little bit more settled down you’re going to tell you if you’re still going to nightclubs whatever you look at the younger girls he was like top hits just so you know it’s a little strange or or or that maybe you can tell the difference between a younger woman who’s still into her adolescent mindset or younger woman who is very sexual and then 28 + 29 + 24 + every once in awhile like a younger one comes in and so the interesting whole thing about this is life cycle stuff is killing my orgasm in and work through your semen retention and do this and a lot of times I could just stop and get free. If I do decide to come others that I got to work with an immature so it’s not like we were before you got to choose your battles wisely analogies to the World of Sports and other areas that we have these archetypes for masculine power and power is sin it’s interesting because I don’t remember there was a top adult performer male performer with got in trouble for breaking the condom laws and record-keeping laws and got slapped with tens of thousands of dollars of fines bike out I think it’s cal-osha for producing foreign in violation of regulations and his kind of response to his kind of political statement was filing a complaint against one of the the MMA outfits to make the point that we condoning all this violence and all of these pathogen transfer events in contact Sports in in obviously box in MMA there’s they’re not hyper regulating and they’re trying to put the point in if you had a business using this tactic I meant I’m not saying hello ship but it’s like the political commentary of that whole situation is it it strikes to a deeper truth I think we’re at we’re training are athletes and conditioning are athletes in creating a culture of celebrating violence and making professional violence practitioners but the practice of the Living Arts have been driven underground so far and where it’s happening in pouring its being hyper regulated and it’s it’s so weird today if you’re watching traditional TV or something like this very interesting I’d say in the next 10 years especially since you know what these younger kids were grew up on we’re going to see the effects of gangbangs that you know when you’re watching them at 7 years old on your tits it’s going to be fascinating and women you know that I was involved with any dancers so I’ve seen many dancers absolutely ruin their the beautiful feminine that they had was in the came in they were just very soft and loving and and beautiful and after you know a couple months of people to give you the money or just dubbed that coldness when I get where they and very beautiful and I’m just turned dark and cold and ugly and so you don’t have to deal with that too because that’s that darker side of the feminine nature if they start thinking that it’s and that their sexual nature or that part of them is meant to do that they’ll never tap into the true essence of their own 782 and they’re going to be a big part of who they are never a team that beautiful status which is glowing compared to that kind of just that raw cold-hearted maybe sexy looking chick with close friends who I knew and they’re very beautiful blossoming into Womanhood in but still very innocent and then getting into the adult world and just becoming the most bitter really almost like a shell of a person you look in their eyes and they’re just gone this is so sad I mean everything in this that were talking about reveals a person you know you liked was that person really that person that beautiful who they were I have a firm belief that no matter what if your key or solid on the inside and you know who you are then that’s who you really are and you may have a little bumps and bruises along the way if your sit on that that’s all it’s going to release psycho so when I see these girls like Ben and like both who was the real you you know it was this or is that so it may have been hollowed out and child could be a very strange very strange talk about to see in jaculation and being able to cultivate the Sexual Energy so I’m curious since you are probably one of the few men alive who has been in the shed in the adult World in that way but also develop to the semen retention practices and the awareness of the chakras and in all this I imagine that you have been really opening the hearts and really healing and really expanding consciousness of your lovers and giving them experiences that they wouldn’t be getting as escorts or dominatrixes necessarily or any other type of sex worker or with what I don’t know how you and your Club so you know but I know that there’s a lot of lap dancing and then whatever else happens in the booth that doesn’t get asked about it told about it man it’s your duty to bring more love and light to whoever is your consort in the moment and so I just imagine that it’s just that was natural for you to have that effect on women and can you talk about any of those Glory of transformation and healing to those practices in love making you have to take the teacher at what I found is you have to take the just a teacher position where I consider like I’m a tour guide you know I’m here as you’re going to get to go somewhere going to take a ride you’re going to have fun you’re probably going to get wet and then you going to be able to go back to your normal life that’s kind of how you have to position in there because you’re dealing with people on that level you have to give them the out like you can’t let them completely commit to loving you on some level and and I and I don’t mean this in a bad way it’s a very positive but you don’t let them get attached and do you know where you’re supposed to just laying there and there are you know what after sex or even before sex with his laying on your chest is a masculine man you’re letting them know that it’s okay I’ve had women want to be around me is because I really hope ground them to the Greek intimate experience with them it’s a wonderful and then they got to go so you don’t let them get too attached and so they know that they have a spot where they can do this and I’m going to take care about it someone that they tend to fall in love with on unlevel but they protect themselves a lot of them what they want to hear let that happen. I am very upfront about it I’ll sleep know where they standing so they can go as deep as they want to go or give as much as they want to go and the nice thing about being like that is as you can develop relationships I have some women that I’ve been like this for almost 15 years and then setup without trying to hook him in and get them dependent on them like a like a lot of guys want to get that girl dick down so to speak to men need that because that’s their own security of of your hands like I don’t want that not a big deal as well either way it’s going to be a positive thing and that person don’t have to worry and I don’t have to worry about them either you know I’m a care about them but I know that there are a big girl making you know do whatever they want to do how do you know that something is just I’m getting chills right now just thinking about how like you said it’s complex and yet it simple mean this Simplicity and I’m singing all this is that it’s like the words monogamy non monogamy polyamory whatever it’s there all tongue twisters and they don’t they’re all inadequate in some way or shape or another but really what it comes down to is these words of control and freedom and what and are you a controlling lover or you a free lover and do you give freedom and you demand freedom and that this is kind of really the binary if if there had to be your talk about transparency thing about it the peaceful harmonious thing about it is when you’re open and you’re not running off of fear or worried about the other person there’s a certain contentment in life than just a man you’re here you’ve you’ve made it and these people choose to be in your life because they want to not because they’re forced to or they need to or they have some here the motion it’s cuz they genuinely truly want you and that’s a beautiful thing when you have that level of commitment of knowledge of knowing this that ever get to experience what that feeling is and to have attained that level and the nice thing about this whole thing of understanding this is what I love intimacy I love sex and I have also felt to the point where I can talk about all this when I put this kind of weird for me as if I’m even need to be physical anymore because I’ve explored it all throughout my body that it’s a component of it but I’ve reached this level of an elevation of okay yeah I don’t even need to be sexually morayfield like to be sexual but there’s a different energy so you has a more mature man it’s very interesting to you get to this point because you feel like you kind of mastered it and you understand the physical pleasures and you’ve explored the physical pleasures and in that and never developed that in my own Neurology in my own body and so it’s just another layer of wow that’s beautiful and deeply I used to say to myself I want to know myself after I have some Peak erotic experiences that I desire and feel frustrated about not having experienced and they are all very healthy and very empowering mutually empowering and just creative and wild as it should be but living in that state of it takes more than one person to achieve these goals or the person or the people that I’ve had opportunities with her only on board for a part of this shit at its really being a sexual Explorer adventure with ethics and a big heart and a big creative mind if it’s nice to start to feel that you get to that point and you feel like a man see for myself I value intimacy like a woman like I want from a woman what a woman wants from a man and it is a congruence there’s a congruent agenda of deep intimacy finally I didn’t have that vocabulary or that energy and I feel like that comes from really shipping on the nectar of the goddess and really knowing feeding yourself not like Jackhammer porn but feeding yourself dance meditation tantric energy work massage nature gardening let’s talk about it that the modern Sexual Man program like this new sexual Playboy Spirit you know conscious evolved kind of spiritual template for being a modern Sexual Man three you know Neil Strauss came in with the book the game but it helped mainstream everything of what we did but the unfortunate thing about what they did is they labeled it like Pick Up Artist and this is always been to me about men reconnecting with their own nature and exploring that and you know a lot of people that you don’t got thrown off by they want to be a pick-up artists and put a label on it into that this is something that is cool when it’s not cool it’s just natural and a lot of Industry educating guys on this so I did a lot of teaching with guys at on early level stuff and what I noticed that cat is you know I would take a lot of time in study something that put it out there and let you know other people would be using it and I have a lot of material you know I don’t think about you no respect given about her this is what we’ve developed in a thing like yourself for 20 years I just kind of sat on the sexual stuff and a lot of people didn’t even know that I was but to me this is really about opening up your mind maps cuz I studied in the road and doing good for programming hypnosis General semantics psychology I study all kinds of stuff you know I really try to figure out how I could utilize all this knowledge and put it into a program that got men educated on certain levels and so there’s about twenty three techniques that I developed that you’re not going anywhere else that I think she brought to the table and I just laid down this very strong very positive psychology where I thought a person could start from when I came out of the sexual man’s because this is a person who is like I said we were talking about being spiritual as much but I can go to a bar tonight and have a conversation with a girl let’s go fuck out by the garbage can about how woman’s body work how to help women that he would never have orgasms through hypnosis or what they call anchor language patterns and how to get them open and and just how to work with a woman’s body so you’re more like a teacher and you can have a woman Explorer like one here’s one technique that a lot of people interested in it was like anal sex a lot of women are very skeptical of anal sex cause a lot of guys don’t know what they’re talking about how things work so I was thinking through being a trainer your push your leg back if you resist for seven seconds because it’s further so what are the techniques that I thought about the stinkers basically a muscle so you know what I did is I was like and so I should have to look so if you’re in your starting now that you say you going to put your two fingers crossed over a little bit and put it into the point where you ask a girl can’t tell me when it’s uncomfortably never say painful or break if you say the word uncomfortable in a little bit uncomfortable and so he slept in a little bit and she’s pushing for seven seconds and then what you do is say okay and I’ll relax when the relax the muscle relaxants little bit more you can slightly push it in all said and she’s like okay if it’s uncomfortable so you say squeeze squeeze squeeze squeeze squeeze again for relaxing stop to think how do you say basic sound like this is your toolbox like if you have these toolbox down lights going to be good for you because it takes you from one bad sexual experience, for everyone to be with you again and so it’s kind of utilizing that talk about stacking orgasms like there’s a great technique that I also talked about is your performing oral on a woman you have on your bed you have her head off the side of the bed you can you have a pillow Stack Up underneath her ass so the blood is actually going downward into her brain so in her head hanging off so it’s really pulling the blood there so when you stack an orgasm different ways of talked about it and you and you were to feel like a good orgasm stop and you can’t breathe through their bodies they’re packing all that Sexual Energy in there and then on what you say 345 or whatever you choose to pick as your stats they decide to have a orgasm as soon as I start that orgasm you grab their hand and the pull them up so they’re having an orgasm at the same time at the blood is Flushing out of their head in a lot of women can go unconscious with that which is perfect timing so if they do go unconscious and they’re absolutely in this unconscious phase and they’re they’re having orgasm they’re fighting compulsing it’s a beautiful time to be able to program things in their their head work you know they’re flopping around or they’re laying there and they’re just like that to your so sexy and so you can do the programming part of beautiful you know you’re an amazing lover your if you can really really cool things when they’re at that level of depth and when they come through there just get a lot of them cry because they do you know you can tap into something extremely extremely safe place to do and they are and you actually gave him a directions so it’s a lot of cool techniques like that to really get to know who you are lover and your inexperience lover so when you do come to the table she knows that hey you know what you’re talking about cuz you can be the greatest guy in the world but if you suck in bed or if you don’t have any gas or you may not get that second date and so why not you don’t be an experience or at least educated lover I think every man should be educated lover because women talk as well yeah it’s just really I think comes down to there’s no excuse if you have a skill doing anything you should be skilled at the most pleasurable aspects of life you know you can only eat so many times today you put the desire to be intimate and to have sexual contact is is pretty infinite so I this is great this is beautiful and I know there’s a lot of stuff out there but I really like the way you’re presenting it because it’s kind of a I can feel in your voice that real man up coach energy that if only young men as they were becoming only there was sexual initiation rites in the modern world that acknowledge that people are going to explore the birds and the bees when the energy comes when the hormones flowing all the stuff is happening and then to have this form of a resource out there for guidance I think it really will be that you know this will be one of many beautiful antidotes to the the negative conditioning and do you want to be a Jedi do you want to be a hero do you want to be a Toyota Zone and just live that way and I’m really kind of like moving into this just text level of the day like helping people with their you know what their health and I think I’m going to move into another area as far as I go I don’t want to be there at the guru and I never did really want to be the guru I just want to be a guy who’s going to give unique perspective on things and it kind of gives like that like even when it was big in the pool or phase night I never really put myself out there too much cuz I don’t want to be surrounded by a bunch of guys in reality I prefer the company of women and so I was just like you don’t take what I am going to offer I’m going to run over here and I’m going to be transparent about this and I hope you will learn to some degree in and really and in at the same time though help men not get caught into the misogynistic aspect of it because that coldness so can men wear maybe they’ve been the nice guy of the good guy and they’ve been taking advantage of it all time to get this like fuck you bitch where you like it and that’s a negative aspect of it to sew Vengeance in baggage in LA Obi-Wan Kenobi becomes more mainstream and who knows maybe I’ll become even more popular more mainstream but I’ve always been pretty cool with you being on in the underground I hear you and I will you know what’s what I feel like that would be so redeeming for me is during the way you speak in hearing this very fully develop masculine I feel like you if you are like a sports coach that you could be the sports coach of male Talent pornstars you could be directing porn or at least transforming and doing makeovers on the male performers and giving them cuz obviously I mean I went to the the AVN Expo for the first time this year early this year and I went to the male performers panel because I’ve been doing some of my own performing and some kind of avant-garde start recording project and what’s not topping the charts yet but I hope to build alliances with people men and women & Beyond who want to bring these techniques and Technologies into erotic Cinema in and I feel like I don’t think a lot of them even know I think I asked the panel I said do any of you guys consciously practice tantric breathing techniques to be able to last as long as you have to be on set all day they didn’t really have an awareness of the technology of time for like it wasn’t the delegation from the contract movement has not into the mainstream for him to be so we can’t blame that originally like when I was growing up I wanted to be a pornstar and the only reason I didn’t really become a pornstar in my way was because at that point I was like you know my dad’s a Navy captain of my mom said nurse I don’t think that they’re going to really appreciate that at the young age not shameful about it like yeah I think fucking is is great I got to get some normal I guess I don’t look at it as poor another cat it’s like you know this is me being vulnerable in and that’s a cool thing so it’s funny when you said that you were taking that because I thought about partaking in things like that to just agree to us. But it’s supposed to be scheduled for next month where I’m in a very unique position was like okay that’s weird cuz people think a motivational speaker porn fuck yeah let’s do it right now and I don’t know where the line is any more like is this normal cuz I don’t care but at the same time dick in her mouth shut so it’s it’s definitely a fine line to figure out where you’re at on it because it’s weird this going to be a post porn reality very soon I think people it’s like this sort of feeding frenzy on the visual depiction of naked flesh and of all these different types of fucking it’s it’s kind of a Fascination the obsession with everything and all of the really I would say harmful and grotesque transgression stuff it’s kind of like it’s I think it’s going to burn itself out part of me is like I got to go in there and I’ve got to save everybody soul and I’ve got to bring him the light and also I think that just the more ubiquitous erotic entertainment becomes the more sophisticated and people are going to develop taste you know it’s like they just have no taste because there they’ve been so deprived if you’ve been starving someone don’t eat shit if you put in front of them if they get to sort of eat that shit for a while and they somehow survived it they’re going to develop a taste for gourmet meals and they’re going to want to put in the effort and put their money behind it and support the people who are doing more interesting and sophisticated stuff so mean ideas of live sex education performance and art and that being a mean at what if there was a big show in Vegas that was the tantric opera or the tantric Musical and it was live sex with all your favorite adult performers and they’re actually doing something sophisticated artistically and with energy movement and soul and the Shiva Shakti that could light up the whole Coliseum Detroit whatever I mean that would be the future you know where they wanted to develop how they want to do it that’s that’s very interesting Pioneers just bringing it so that they have this pool of knowledge to go from him and that can be a blessing and one way but it’s also because of a curse on another one because they know people tend to sometimes get lazy when it’s just presented Aaron the explorations gone so maybe we’re just all the performers in the Pioneers they’re doing this what it was that I read in your email is ground-and-pound like an MMA fighter on your own you know Langham as is the typical very aggressive non loving knots in the future where the sexual Arts are celebrated at least as much as the combative arts and the sportive Arts of say and imagine that the the sport would be if they keep okay we’re going to put him out of going to ring with these Stuckey country code your guinea women and they’re all going to try to make him come and steal is a jackulate like the white tigers are going to come in there as well as a jackulate he’s always make you know he’s holding on he’s absolutely blacks out I had to discover that with a lover when she would wake up and go and be mad that we didn’t have sex in like yeah we did well control IR that over your own ability I’ve been I’ve been pretty funny with a lot of the other forensic scientist and hamburger McIntosh broke like that I will give you a ride so it kind of got her motivated to the point where I am coming over all right so I was like you know who won 0 and then one second layer on your loss and I would just because you had that control to be able to do that right after it’s accepted in 5 minutes into seconds. The bet you if you don’t get the computer so we had but it’s not sexual ability to have fun like that where we know they’re trying to get your she’s really trying here what’s going on I keep going straight so you know it’s got to have that. Even if it was pouring skit of some kind that just might a picture of as if the poor and actresses doing the Macho Man Randy Savage all that drama because it kind of you know it’s like there is something Charming about the the masculine the urge for conquest and you know but it if it could be in a playful loving a healing mass you know I mean I I have fantasies of women conspiring to just spoil me with sexual love and making you know entry out of how they’re going to surprise me by pulling pranks on me or something to keep it exciting and fun and interesting and dynamic and I like the idea of contest in this whole sport of thing we were just Shuckers for gaming we’re suckers for keeping score and points I mean like if you look at a karate match they look at all the different point they issue they they give you all these points to give you the rating so imagine a sort of I mean they already call it sexual come true in there the Chinese Dallas tradition but imagine matches you don’t like porn matches that are not just like a stick of the Thompson Twins or whoever they do whatever they want to be I think it’s I think that’s a classic hilarious idea. And fun the secret is it is you can’t touch anything to it and they’re both okay I do feel like this begs the question or makes me feel want to explore this a little bit of this kind of the darker side of this obsession with this conversation sheds light on from a country perspective or sacred sexuality kind of perspective or Taoist sexual Kung Fu perspective is that there is this really compulsive ejaculation skewing of section and just about guys getting off but I think there’s if the coolest toughest hard disk or baddest ass man you could be with a man who didn’t come in that way and wasn’t spilling the seed then a whole new machismo cuz there’s always going to be with us about what is the thing that people are competing over in fighting to be the best at it’s going to always be that way and if it’s to be the longest lasting least seeds building Tantra master the porn ring or whatever it is immediately I think that’s really one of the antidotes for for the rape culture is it if it’s been really understand it my heart turned on I want you to really like I want to last long enough so that my heart explodes you know that is unconditional love and Shakti and goddess and God Shiva is flowing through me they’ve never experienced that if they’re just hunched over like an imbecile spilling out load after load on the keyboard on a Polaris I’m glad that you’re leaving with with that, it just needs to be a family value save your seed as you age you with Grace and it took a long time for me like it go to the bathroom three four five six times a day that a duck into bill. You know breathing and even have the self-confidence to the muscle that’s weird I like it a lot of experimenting I mean I would go and I’m very extreme and and nature so I’m on one month I would go okay you know what I’m going to do is I’m going to just you know I’m going to party I’m going to drink smoke drugs experiment for this kind of Dark Realm in the next month I would say okay buy food completely healthy because I really want to see the Dynamics of the energy back and forth back and forth I want to explore this and get to the point where I can have a full understanding that this lifestyle leads to this this lifestyle leads to that and what are the real interesting things about doing this whole process was that exploring that you really get to find with your own Sexual Energy that you have to be able to save it for yourself to a degree and any time that I felt Beatdown a rundown of things like this is like I have a whole little ritual in one would be to channel to Sexual Energy and save and heal my own body up so I know when I want to get back on point if I was off center from 3 Day green juice fast it’ll couple sessions of channeling that Sexual Energy to myself with a massage in and at least one acupuncture thing and I’m back on point so if you can utilize that Sexual Energy and healing way as well so you know that’s a really cool thing to be able to explore in okay been there done that it I got it I get it right I think we have definitely given listeners a lot to want to dig into Explorer so do you want to talk a bit more about how people can connect with your work and get to sign up for everything that you talked about that goes out and there and if you want to go on YouTube I have a channel called hypnotika and phenotype and ask if not a lot of guys send me questions on I respond very well to question so am I send me questions and there is a way to get ahold of it I think it’s a scam Nautica gmail.com send me a question and I get you to help people through the internet on YouTube so don’t like too many places or I think modern-day Sexual Man. Com is another place but I think hypnotic has is a very good generalized Center to meet there I do have a lot of stuff on YouTube in a lot of seminars that I’ve done over the years and that’s that’s a good place well thank God for you to do what I want to see is this Alchemy of the Sacred bad boy nurture master of himself and his love and his hard and every part of his being in this is I think people should definitely watch your videos and get a sense of the intensity flowing through and he wanted to give people a gift for mentioning the show if they contact you anyway would be cool in a group on Facebook if they want do it there it’s it’s called The Master Circle there’s almost like 800 guys there and it’s such a strong powerful group of guys that really helped it’s it’s no spamming should it snow in a misogynist of these are really really good guys that I filtered through and so if you go there and you just stopped me to join to say hey I heard your lecture I’ll just release it to the whole group that one free thing from the 7-Day sexual Mastery that’s all I got it took a trance hypnotic program that helps reprogram and help design a sexual States within a dream state so you can eat a lot of guys can work out their stuffing in a dream state so when they wake up they’ve been able to rehearse sexual States and Central mindset listen to it on your show group in wall to put the link in the show notes that people can go there and find the master Circle the words you want to share your doing as well and it is very interesting because you said you earlier I was listening to some of your stuff you know very Jim Morrison type of spoken word and you don’t I appreciate that self into the Zone Creative Energy Tucson love of life is on passion for life are the ones that are better lovers because of the fact that they’re transmuting it into creativity and two aren’t into creative exploration and expressions and so I found it interesting that because we both kind of do the same thing that we’re both in the spoken word were bolted audio and I appreciate what you do to cuz it’s not just me and it’s not just you it’s it’s just we’re leaving a legacy for for the men that will be up and coming that’s healthy and hopefully by then they can say hey if you really want to study. The guys that are ethical that you’re both sides to degree can understand go yeah that’s this is quality control over the web and trying to figure out who’s who you know by then it’s well-established these are the the longevity to coaches that have the reputation that are are balanced in their thinking and they’re very just raw and manly absolutely you can’t you can’t sell it it doesn’t work if you’re too being out and you know your lover will be cheating on you with the biker or the football player or whatever they get need to get that flirty from so it’s really powerful potent reconciliation of this sort of the splitting and so yeah we we’ve come very much for Circle in the last thing I want to say is just said that I just cannot wait for your values and ethics and techniques and training strategies to kind of percolate through the pants and the porn directors and all the guys who are high-fiving telling lies about girls at ball games and barbecues and jerking themselves into imbecility over pouring eventually it’ll get to critical mass and and I feel like the greatest gift of mixing the tantric wisdom is that if you become a Yoni worshiper good things are going to happen really good things are going to happen and miracles are going to happen and you never know which Yoni you’re going to come through in the next life so treat them all like it’s going to be the one you might be coming through UNIF hoping you might get excused from this body in some way and so it’s I feel that from you man I can tell the difference you know you can tell if a man really really ships the Divine nectar of the Goddess through the Earth through the cosmos in through his beloved and I think I feel that has John residents with you on that level so keep being a blessing and we’ll start busting his curses and raise the vibration and I appreciate you for what you do and much more right on that all right with you have a wonderful night will be entitled thank you. Appreciate if I can’t. Calm and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple after bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episode if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com

 

Sustainable Sexual Liberation with Francesca Gentille TPP24

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tp-francesca-gentilleFrancesca Gentille is the co-author of “The Marriage of Sex & Spirit,” the radio host of “Sex: Tantra & Kama Sutra”, and the Director of The Integrative Arts Institute.  She is a sex and intimacy counselor who presents internationally on the use of Sacred Eros and Sacred BDSM in recovery from trauma.

In this episode we discuss sacred sexuality’s past, present, and future by drawing upon anthropological data, our personal life experiences, and Francesca’s  wealth of knowledge and wisdom from years of amazing work in the field. She share’s her tantra life history of personal growth and development, then we explore many issues that are close to our hearts and minds. Ultimately she bestows as sense of great hope for sustainable sexual liberation, including the interpersonal and professional domains of sexuality.

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin I want to thank you French biscuit in PA for joining me for episode number 24 of the township hunt podcast it’s a great honor to have you here as listen to all of your podcasts and follows your work and I’m just really excited and honored to be speaking with you so if you could give us some background on your sort of Contra life history and about what you’re up to these days I will take you so much bad for you including me in this and giving me an opportunity to share because I think that is a desire to make a difference and to do that we really need people like you who helped us get our message in our calling out to the world and Catholics in Wisconsin and there were those negative and conflicting messages about the body about sexuality about being a woman and if it’s meant is that I was only supposed to have sex once I was married that sex outside of marriage was a sin that in order to be thought of as a respect for a good woman I could always say no about sex and I should be very wary of anyone who wanted hit maybe even put their arm around your kiss me and I should also look at my body as a source of Temptation you know that my body could lead me astray and being raised with these kind of messages I became really terrified of sex and when I was he know dating age if a man with the very young somewhere around 1415 that if I kept going like this I would end up being frigid by the time that I’m married I would have been so patterned in my brain and in my responses around fear and sexuality that I wouldn’t be able to enjoy sexuality and so I began to start a process that I would later discover in Psychology is called successive approximation where I would hold in my mind that you have to be waking and sleeping. with Matt then I also was very very careful who I chose to date and partner with so that I have always chosen men really honored my pacing in the sexuality and if I want to go very very slow if I want to spend months or years kissing we’re just talking and I choose honor that and so I had the opportunity to incompetence lay next to a boyfriend naked without having sex just to become comfortable with the naked male by and I also was with someone from 14-223 that we really started out as friends and your friends three years friends eventually I absolutely loved him heart Body Mind and Spirit it was true very deep very sincere love not a crush and we eventually became lovers and had a very beautiful and vibrant and sweet sex life but it’s 23 he came out as gay which was profoundly shattering for me at that time and we’ll just started I think a deeper drive and curiosity how do they come together how do they make their choices is it are we gay or straight are we at 10 years later when we got together for a dinner I said you know how did it work that you identify as gay but we had this really virutex left and then I’ve had more sexual dysfunction issues with the men who might consider themselves heterosexual and he couldn’t that we had become so close you know a mental alignment the spiritual alignment alignment that we have become so close that there was a way to get my gender no longer mattered and the love they felt for me inspired ignited his erotic nature so his love for me was actually LED and his arousal for me was led by not his cock but by his heart never said a certain tone or even a certain standard for my sexuality that I would later years and years later cuz I didn’t really start studying until more probably my early forties that I would find out years later was there a contract that instead of leading with r instinctual neurobiological you know you smell like food let’s fuck you know rather than leading with that we learn to slow down we learn to be conscious of our breathing conscious of our responses your am I attractive am I judging you positively or negatively am I male or female arousal whether that’s 4 hours or whether that’s for a lifetime and that by having this experience in my you know 14-223 in a way it is started a pattern that would make a lot of sense when I got to Tantra is the sense of leading with the heart and letting the heart in form the rest of us rather than leading guess what are Primal nature another thing that I did start in my late twenties and early thirties started to study cross-cultural sacred sexuality so before I studied I was actually studying kind of sacred sexuality that was in that so for me personally although I will sometimes say I’m a I’m a tantra teacher because that’s easy to speak out of my mouth do you know Center teacher I really perceive myself to be a teacher and a coach that died around cross-cultural sacred arrows not just Eastern or Asian and I believe that sacred sexuality is our Birthright that it is interwoven into every single lineage of History whether we’re Jewish weather where you know of some sort of you know Arabic Middle Eastern it whether we’re European weather were African whether we’re Asian that no matter what our culture in which Mayan whatever our culture if we go back far enough we can see the anthropological shards of sacred sexuality in our tradition and I like knowing that I like researching that so that we don’t necessarily have to leave our Our Idiot I don’t have to stay at the stop being awesome beautiful awesome let’s do that but if we have to leave we don’t have to leave Christianity we don’t have to leave Judas and we don’t have to leave this why we don’t have to leave whatever tradition were part of to embrace sacred sexuality and so for me that’s very important one of the other things that I feel is very important for our listeners to know is there such a confusion between in the West End in the United States any kind of first world contemporary culture which I grew up with and feels kind of confused about how to relate to their body how to relate to the planet when we start to study in a western culture we had a tendency to focus on the body and sexuality but that. There really is a spiritual path and the goal is not a great sex life is actually the unconditional and compassionate acceptance of all that is it’s a spiritual path and just as it has a do you know who that the blissed-out recorder is not about having a great sex life this is about being incredibly compassionate human being and important people to know now look at my life compassion make a difference make a difference it make a difference if I could be compassionate about my body would it make a difference if I could be compassion about your body or about our sexuality and are our differences if I could hold this really deep compassion would that make a difference in our sex life it would absolutely so we’re now looking at something very different then you know what kind of positions can we do or what kind of position they’re breathing breathing tactics can we do to have a better sex life for a longer orgasm so the Kamasutra literally means the teachings, love to trace the teachings of the teachings about love and it was really like it was and is a spiritual path so such a nerd versus spiritual path and so I think you’re getting one we talked about Francesca’s what is Francesca’s history is it is very deeply personal experience that started a particular path and this very curious inquiring mind wanted to research cross-culturally and explore cross-cultural and still does and sit when I look at you know what am I teaching about sacred sexuality I look at everything from neurobiology psychology energy work Shamanism and teacher is teaching you their own jambalaya you know their own mixture of these little bits of what might be called classical control and lots of everything else that they know and so if you’re going to a tantra teacher it’s I feel it’s really important to ask them like you’re doing what is your background why did you choose this what do you think Nicole is what are your classes like and some country. Medic on her teacher’s sexual perspective and they have a strong bias toward polyamory and polyamory we intimate intimate ways but if you’re trying to go to class to improve your sex partner going to that Public House might actually disrupt your relationship even more so it’s important to know cuz it’s kind of like weirdest Entre come from in our country and what are might you be walking into and what do you need to ask I was starting to rain in Punta I recognized it as a sex and love addict and there was a way that I was approaching my relationship with men that was about getting my 6 and I didn’t know this because because I need to have lots of sex about two different people I wasn’t you know having sex with strangers and whiskey but what happened I had a boyfriend that broke up with me in the middle of my ARCA falling in love and usually you know as many human beings hear you fall in love in those first few weeks or months you if you stay up all night if you’re completely like you’re everything you can make love morning because that guy is actually not about the other person it’s about our own chemical dump in our body going off because something in that person that is triggered and when the drugs are stopping me it’s some it’s starting to look like you don’t touch me the way you used to do you treat me the way you used to it starts to look like the other person is prop and then after whether it’s after three months or 6 months or 9 months or two years whatever that was my power and then I would immediately fall in love with the next person so I can have that wonderful experience You’re My Favorite Drug high is a combination of love and lust just lust just love but if you put love and lust together you know that’s my heroin and so when he broke up with me in the middle of this Arc I couldn’t I couldn’t sleep I was just shaking this FYI girl this is not grieving this is withdrawals you’re going to waste all there when I recognize that fact I put myself into 12 step program for sex and love addicts anonymous American Airlines and they’re all so connected and juicy with each other videos of letting themselves go into this place of merging and high I’m having to practice Friday it was kind of like learning to be sober while spending time in a bar and it was hard my God that was hard and so I would have to work and work on my energy back but not being merged and it was hard but it created such a strong muscle so that now if I do he let you know if I’m doing a lot of killing four people if I’m doing Sexual Healing around there, I can touch their genitals I could touch their body they could be in a state of arousal and I’m not I’m not I’m not you know I’m not going to fantasize about that I’m available to hold a clear space for their healing that’s not about me and what I found is many many many people who call themselves doctors in bikinis and contracts and Country cuz for whatever reason they haven’t so when they are in those healing Simon’s with another person they ask to get very attached they actually are there on issues over the other person and can actually start to give pressure to the other person to be sexual and I’ve heard that over and over and over and over where he’s starting to give pressure like if you have sex with my badge or if you know you let me put my hand up your whatever you and the woman is not her pacing which is actually for her offense seeking Clarity from women Clarity that they never got from their mother Clarity that they have never gotten from their girlfriend and now they’re hiring and then wanting a very clear message pathway where they’re negotiating clearly about boundaries and boundaries are being held in there for something healing about the polarity and so if a country girl. Kitty says you’re in the first session we’re just going to bring together third session where I don’t you know we may never get to the genitals we won’t get to the genitals until the 4th he can relax Clarity with this woman and then she said to get excited by him and then she throws the boundaries out the door we can just go to this we can skip the three sections and just go to this right now he actually filled one day because she’s just replicated the same wording about the other women were unclear interchangeable so I think you’re starting to get a sense of me and my life to is that I’m really really drawn to where is there, where is there, in the body in the south in our ability to feel like our body our sexuality are our life is safe for us to be in and really I’m drawn to ask how can I support people to come home to their bodies in their lives in a way to three safe for them and very authentic for them and that’s that’s the kind of you know if we use one definition of Contra is the weeds that Hunter has a weaving and another way of saying leaving his illness is that’s the kind of from her that I’m drawn to is how do I support each individual to come into their holness and of course of course yeah that’s in my journey to you know how do I come into my home this how do I embrace all that I am including my desires in my Primal and my reactive the including my compassion in my Divinity how do I bring all of it in a way that is loving for me but is not harmful for others because this is also an issue that comes up in a sex-positive community a lot is your freedom freedom we’ve been so shamed by the culture region so limited by the culture I personally believe it that’s an immature attitude and that the child is struggling for three of the teenagers struggling for its freedom but when were an adult we understand we have responsibilities and that my freedom has to be limited by where my actions affect others so I may want to I want to dance and I’m a wanted flitter my music really loudly and can I have colored lights and it’s not fun for them so I need to either turn down my music but I need my freedom is limited by the fact that desire is going to create a negative impact on another human being it is not okay it is not mature adult to say I need this because it’s kind of my freedom we get to stay around the house with my you know music is so I would like to do that but as a mature adult that I need to collaborate with you how is it that work will you be out of the house like to just think when I’m single maybe they’re looking for a dump for relationship and I’m just looking for something really fun so my freedom when I balance my freedom with responsibility my freedom and my desire for Freedom my desires will still guide me but my maturity will allow those desires to be expressed gracefully and responsibly you’re getting a little bit of my soapbox here is that Peter Peter Pan not allowing themselves to mature and do I want to love my body I want to look like I prove that every single desired vanity I have to approve it I want to create a pro but there’s a difference between loving myself so whatever comes up in my little mind and taking action on what I’m thinking I’m going to give you different examples I had a question just really hard wanted to work with and I was 20 or 21 at the time and I didn’t know about boundaries I didn’t know how to really express myself and I felt very powerless in that situation and I would go home and I didn’t know what to do with all that anger really that I had towards her and I came up with a really great idea that I was going to allow myself to fantasize about killing her did I ever harm her no no I never I never did anything for me to kind of this place some of my anger and not take it out on her I sign up for the confusion of a sex positive culture between what I would call a personal fantasy something that I’m going to keep in my mind in my mind and display some energy by having it. Maybe would be really lovely maybe I have a fantasy And my partner’s at the time and I ended up going to a very warm ocean and it was the perfect fantasy to bring into reality this is what I have in some but I’m not going to mention I don’t want them to be brought into another example is I have a fantasy about rafting me at sunset in a beautiful blue silk down get this like sailing into the bay at Sunset and the wind is blowing in his hair and come to the beach and no wake me up in his arms and take me on the road back to the back to the ship in my fantasy somehow he’s able I’m walking along the beach with my dress never gets wet he gets to the beach he puts me in the rowboat we go back to the ship where are the ship and I never get seasick and it in real life I actually get seasick very easily I never even though he’s being great he does not get ripped and it’s now folded neatly next to us even though my back is on the wooden plank of the. I do not get splinters in my fantasy it all works beautifully but I’m smart enough to know that if I try to do that in reality my dress would get ruined and I be kissed I get splinters and that would not make me happy and I probably get seasick the wisdom of of the Amazon and and Beyond and so is that something that you have I just thought I remember reading somewhere you know or talk to you at some point about how this is so like you could be hired by the more formal above ground and sectors of social work or Community work with where you can be brought in to bring some of the stuff that would normally be or I guess it’s just it’s a very interesting Cutting Edge of an intersection and I if I’m not mistaken that’s that you you are like sort of partially in that world 2 of of social work or is that something I understand correctly or social worker social worker y’all are layout string this conversation back and see where where I where I am placed social work as well as all the modalities of counseling and healing you know like they are all part and parcel to supporting and upholding status quo capitalist system so I’m going to like you know like you know also having been in the punk scene also had a big impact on my my party now thought you know in terms of healing these wounds we have to look at that you know we can’t we can’t say like that are healing is going to be independent of a world that is reeling and suffering from the continuation of this system as it is and so that’s where I for me like bringing capitalism into the equation is is something that’s real tricky it’s something that I feel needs to be kind of understood that you know we we can’t just rely on having sting services that we can pay for because that creates a gap you know where some people are going to have accessible abilities to to the healing and others won’t and that’s that’s not healthy for anyone and and also that it doesn’t address the root cause of why we need social workers to begin with and why we need counseling and all of that so I really like the notion of cultural healing that’s where more where I would be comfortable in any way kind of looking at myself as any kind of healer I don’t think we we can really heal individuals that’s really something that you know a person will need to and it’s not like they can be facilitated to do their own healing work but nobody can fix us we have to fix ourselves that’s that’s more I think a more powerful Paradigm to be apart of but you know I I I have worked in the realm I focused therapy and you know I have spent quite a bit of time around the spirit plant medicines and seeing how the plant medicines have assisted and I do I do continue continuously work to increase my knowledge and wisdom around working with us plants and and that also brings us back into that hole realm of discussion around you know ancestors and working with them or perhaps that’s something we haven’t really touched upon but maybe she said it’s just that in any form of healing that we do I guess for me the important thing that I really try to bring into whatever I do connecting back with her ancestors and healing the trauma of how we were disconnected from those ancestors and how that plays out in any kind of sexual wounds or emotional wounds that we carry and so that’s something that I I I feel like the role of initiation and ritual can can really do and that’s that’s been its Province ever since people began doing patrols I think it’s to build upon the legacy of their ancestors and to draw and their their help and support cool said that yeah thank you for helping me understand the other parameters a little better and and 100% there with you I have I have been because I live in the United States where there’s different laws around no prostitution in in how that affects the healing with sexual touch and pleasure as medicine and stuff like that is a lot more yes I understand in in Canada there’s there’s a lot more interesting legal space in order to do Hands-On Sexual Healing work relative to the US where it’s completely off limits in so I because of that adapting to that reality and also is a permaculture designer myself I have to think very deeply about how to navigate this issue of for-profit healing work that kind of in most sectors is about like you said I’ll put in my own words it’s like they want to know if if the if you’re at a time of time robot that supposed to be producing a set amount to be a productive member of the of the GDP then then if you’re not functioning properly than the the goal of the mainstream social work or psychotherapeutic or psychiatric Fields they’re trying to get you back into the rat race as soon as possible and they’ll do that with drugs with talk therapy or whatever that is about avoiding through tissue which is the disconnection from urethane from a healthy holistic wild habitat you know a night as a primitivist I see that you know the solution to your Neurosis is to retry belies and Get Growing your own food again in and rebuild that fabric so you know there with you on that tension about right livelihood in and taking money for healing and what is he doing so I really like what you said and that just is going to it’s going to help me a lot looking at healing the cultural level and healing the if I’m understanding right and I’ll put a couple my own words on it but I feel like we’re trying to build the scaffolding or were trying to design the context for people to take the responsibility of a personal healing and gone to that journey and so if you if what would you say are some practical skills are tools from all of your things that you would teaching and training and a things that you discovered in your own journey to where you’re in power tools for empowerment that you suggest or are resources that you suggest people Explorer to if they’re called to do the cultural healing work weather for profit or non-profit. Some dance between the two or it and then what what are some recommendations for people who are on their own path and aren’t necessarily called to do the the cultural healing yeah I mean it’s it’s a pretty vast subject that one but I think that a few points that I could think about and talk about our that I’m going to this idea of bringing you back in the station rights and recognizing that in the absence of them what do we have you know we are we are sadly in there without initiated Elders so many of us and if there are any of Elders that hold that ability to to guide those those ones are those are worth their weight in gold you know there really is people that we should try to lift up and and give them their recognition and see you know and then in the absence of that it’s like we kind of by default Our Generations people that will have to hopefully fulfill that and reach a place where we can actually help upcoming generations to go in a way that they don’t have to completely go it alone and and figure it out on them on their own the way that so many of us have had to and so there is a movement around Rites of Passage I sit on the board if you passageways which is a network that focus is squarely on you no Rites of Passage for you coming of age from all different walks and and and modalities you know some of them are our Boys to Men oriented some of them are girls to women some of them are starting to incorporate non gender binary kind of approaches as well which is good and and this whole focus on bringing back the ancestors into looking at Rites of Passage is is starting to happen and something that I focused on and so that’s that’s a resource you know people can go to youth passageways. Oregon and look at what programs are out there and they can also think about how they can add to that list and bring in things that are needed around especially around sexuality and relationship which is often I noticed kind of a big gap in a lot of programs out there you know because they’re confined confined or constrained by the conservative values where they take place and you know what school system is you know this is one of those places lagging for that kind of thing so it’s a role that I think that many people who understand the need can step into and cultivate as career paths you know and some people are pig figuring out how they can weave their credentials says on Sexual Health Educators or sexual therapist or sexual trauma or no trauma-based therapists you know into this realm of initiation and that’s that needs to happen on a on an increased level the other I see a lot of because of what I was saying around looks really don’t how many Avenues to learn other than through you know what the books in the workshops and offerings around sexuality thoughts unfortunately are not rooted in in people’s only need two lineages generally speaking you know so the whole Tantra movement is pretty much so you know a cultural appropriator of New Age fight version of those Traditions that would have been squashed by Christianity especially and so I think there’s work to be done there and as much as possible Retreat retrieving reconstructing are reconnecting with our own ancestral Traditions which I’m sure you know had their own knowledge wisdom around how to how to raise healthy harmonious individuals with healthy sexualities from from the vantage point of how what little I do know has been has been done in indigenous cultures and without wanting to appropriate for them from them I’ll just give way of examples out of that you know in and certain cultures that are studied like the Mayan culture and I think to some degree on certain places within Creek culture there’s examples of how as societies you know that the children are raised from an early age 2 reach a point where they understand how to how to harmonize with the other sex and how to to look after each other and that’s just a very basic principle that I feel like you know that’s that’s worth kind of learning how to integrate into our family structures if we have children that were raising just to keep in mind that you know there is a need for them to learn skills around things like consent and around being responsible with with one’s sexual energies and and I needs to start before they reach that age of adolescence where they’re just harder to connect with if you haven’t built up that Foundation so that’s something that I think about will do you so if I if if we check out that the organization that you mention is it would that be good place to find and something like a more enlightened or more conscious like sexual education curriculum or guidebook do you know if people were working on something like that so if I know if you know parents who were going through the puberty of their child that they have something that’s not just this cold clinical Western and even though that sort of evolving a little bit you know with things like a sack didn’t and whatnot I see a lot but the The ancestral wisdom and you know the ceremonial Rites of Passage you know how does it how does the Modern Family say okay well you’re about to start feeling you know hormonal Energy’s how do we give you know create even if it’s just within their family or their Community yoga or whatever is something more than what’s being offered in the normal sex ed or what they’re listening in gangster rap music and watching on sitcoms obviously you know it’s enough for lack of lot of alternative options it’s one one place to look and we’re always looking for others so whenever we discover something then we will see to auditory resources and we are trying to vet those resources and those organizations to make sure that they really are you know at least there’s some some level of you know safe recommendation that we can give for those those organizations we’re not we’re not in the position to really kind of completely you know set standards but we are trying to we have a code of what we call it a cross-cultural protocol so we do look at that aspect that you have for what we’re talking about that’s you know if that’s another layer that we will hopefully get to eventually and I do know that there are people within our Network who are really strongly focused on this particularly around girls to women kind of education and and Rites of Passage and some of the Boys to Men once but I think it’s also something we need to to enhance as well oh that’s great yeah that’s that’s that’s what I wanted to hear so that I can just refer people to this ongoing and so and then the LSI is kind of its there’s a Facebook I’ve been interacting with the the Facebook group for a while so is that something you recommend people plug-in I mean that’s the goal of that is to feature blogs and generate discussions from those blogs and also to establish a resource of services as well as information and so that’s you know running on in a very limited volunteer capacity and so you know it’s something that I hope will eventually become a very powerful resource but already it’s you know it’s been feedback that I’ve received that you know even just the the group that we have on Facebook somebody posted recently. You know it’s really help them in their in their path which is nice to hear and I’ve heard that a few times and I try to curate that group in such a way where it’s like you know it’s trying to generate discussion and it’s it’s trying to be a safe space where where people can get into some of those I’m intimate revealing is of what what’s going on in their lives one of the things that kind of came out of love sex intelligence local as a connection with Tamara and the love school that they have which is a very congruence philosophy to love sex intelligence and they’re their work to try to create or with to create safe spaces for people to to share stories of what’s going on in their intimate lover sexual lives and and B witnessed in a way that is non-judgemental where they’re not being flooded with advice but more just being witnessed which is kind of connected to that whole framework for Rites of Passage itm witnessing each other and so it’s it’s trying to also look at how you know communities can succeed in their in their goals which might include you know like being more sustainable or being an alternative to the systems around us and also being a part of a more peaceful kind of culture through filling this hole that is often where things go wrong where people are are are not feeling safe to talk about these these human experiences around wounding around are our hearts and our sexuality so I’ve been part of a Practice Group here that has been circulating also to other parts of BC and I think it’s a really it’s a really powerful movement to be a part of yeah we’re getting close to an hour or so I have to take a few more minutes and I’m get a couple thoughts and feelings some responsible for 1 something that his is coming up for me that I think it’s really empowering is this like idea that wouldn’t it be nice if some of us started to think of ourselves as aspiring Elders I’ve never thought of it that way until this conversation and there’s a little spark of joy and me that that says you know puts in context the the punk rock lifestyle that I had of live fast Die Young and just you know if it’s not throwing yourself into the meat grinder of insurrectionary activism you know with this sort of Death Wish you know this martyr complex or whatever it’s like those are really unsustainable archetypes to follow and they leave a lot of people when they get to my age in about 35 like in a sort of existential crisis that will the revolution didn’t happen and I didn’t get killed I didn’t die in the gutter you know I mean what am I going to do now and it’s like well maybe it’s time to become an aspiring Elder and you know clean up your act and and then start to think about how you’re going to make it easier cuz I there’s a lot of things that I had to go through that I would seriously love to have no one else ever have to go through and if you know if we can live in that. you know that is what you’re supposed to think that I think of you say you know you can you can learn from the wisdom of Elders who have gone through and made the mistakes that you’re probably going to go through or you can just be hard-headed and learn all your lessons the hard way but I mean we’ve had to learn a lot of hard lessons in the absence of the eldership but I think if we take on that there’s a yeah me too. It seems obvious but really the way you put it his medicine for me to think you know it’s a dignified path to be an aspiring Elder and then it makes you not be so how do I can help you defeat that that that grinding pressure that oh my I’m going to lose my looks and I’m going to lose my energy and I’m going to be in the state of deprecation towards death and that’s very much the greatest fear of the western manicured Uno photoshopped airbrushed identity like you’re not really giving any hope that aging will be of any benefit in here just marginalized further and further so I thank you for that serve very much still give that time sacred eldership dignity not a light title to hold I think the true Elder wouldn’t really feel comfortable in it cuz it’s defining attributes of an elder that is really one that can help that role be the best it can be is one that is is really accountable is really present isn’t so on the move that if you can’t you know be relied upon to be there for the people that it serves now needs to ideally be in the in the fellowship of other Elders to kind of keep it in in in check in a way like we have to watch for the Cole group kind of phenomenon where people you know place a lot of weight on that person and in a way that can privilege them in certain ways and also lead to potential like power distortions and things like that you know it’s it’s only human that people will make mistakes and so having that kind of accountability of other people and also that time yeah you have people heart or a different there’s always like in every phase of life with the lifecycle there’s there’s like the maturing phases and so there’s like you know there’s a baby elder there’s enough adult Elder and then Senior Elder and so it’s just we have to learn at each stage of Life how to become the mature version of what that stage is and says just something to think about as well and it’s good to to get your feet wet early on in life so that you know we can have deep roots and and the and those are the kinds of people to like in the Tamara situation out of the black community they have a circle of Elders who are basically people who have grown with a community enough that they know the people in their community and then they serve a role as potential kind of like the Matchmaker but you know in a way where people can approach them in and ask them like you know I’m interested in this person and they can help you assess whether this is the right time or what is a good or bad idea and you know they can kind of that. Whole courtship in a way that you know really I think I wish there were more of those people around here don’t you let me relax you know learn the hard way what does that we’re just not compatible certain people in The Matrix the I mean yeah I’m not I’m not a political scientist of the Matrix but I will say that what got me peaked on the ecstatic trance dance group ritual ceremony festival thing was it really when I saw I think it was maybe the second movie or maybe it was the second or the third but there was a scene where they’re just getting down to like Juno Reactor I think was a soundtrack of a butt there is something beautiful about seeing the different the warrior culture Guided by elders and of course there’s different the archetypes playing out in Conflict split that to me was took it further than then the Star Trek Federation is a futuristic Elder guided Council guided kind of reality so that was kind of fun but yeah so that’s what came to mind when you’re at we’re talking about that be so cool if you’re early sexual oracle’s who you go to you know if we’re going to give you insights and maybe even have name your child for you or something cool like that you know be so cool but right on then will I worry about at the hours so do you have any closing touch you want to share or any other resources or should we just I’ll post the the links that you mention and I’ll definitely encourage people to stay informed and keep an eye out for your anything coming up you have any appearances or anything exciting like that coming up you want to mention I think yeah I think I covered a lot of it and I just wanted to maybe plant a seed while I have the airwaves here about something that I’d I’d eventually like to work on presenting which is around insert Intercultural relationships and also decolonizing our relationships as well and just thinking about how how we can heal some of these ancestral traumas and use that has as as a means to strengthen our relationships and also our society right on I’ll be looking forward to everything that you’re you’re expressing in the world and I hopefully yeah maybe sometime in the future we can talk about skill sets for Beyond Christian monogamy that would be a great topic so yeah how would you feel about that maybe we can sometime in the next few months follow up with something like that. Maybe by the by the time I’ll have more of a personal lived experience to a base conversation around that I think you know in terms of people who are already I don’t know how many listeners here are on a Christian spiritual path without that many but if the energy and gnosticism and sacred marriage not going to the alchemical top in the in the Gnostic tradition but I I wouldn’t make any claims to be an expert in that area but it’s definitely something to look at cool alright then we will be in touch and will follow up sometime in the future and thank you so much so be I really enjoyed it and I know it’s taking us a while to get this to get this done but I think it was perfect and I couldn’t ask for anything more so you have a wonderful day. Take care and keep for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and if you want a podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been at Contra Punk. Com Thomas Day