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Ashley Manta Smoking Cannabis

Best Practices for Sexual Healing Using Cannabis with Ashley Manta TPP283

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In this episode I’m joined by the world’s foremost expert on the use of cannabis for sexual pleasure, exploration, and healing

About Ashley:

Ashley Manta is an award-winning sex educator and coach and has become a leading authority on mindfully combining sex and cannabis as part of her CannaSexual® brand. She recently completed her certification as a Bodysex® Facilitator after studying with legendary pleasure pioneer Betty Dodson. Ashley was named Sexpert of the Year at the January 2020 XBiz Awards. Her work has received recognition in Forbes, The London Times, Newsweek, Rolling Stone, and more. She is a brand ambassador for Sybian and Foria. Her book, The CBD Solution: Sex will be published by Chronicle Books and Merry Jane in September 2020.
Links:
Podcast: www.elevatedintimacypodcast.com (Also available on iHeartRadio, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Play)
Online courses: www.elevatedintimacy.com

My Non Verbatim Show Notes:

AM:

buffet of me

am sex and relationship coach

sex ed 13 years

start out of college, sexual violence prevention education

rape crisis counseling, victim advocacy

sexual assault awareness prevention

high schools and colleges

women’s center on campus

well rounded approach in trauma

such powerful work

healing for me as survivor, helping other survivors

high burn out

pivot, sex ed on health and wellness

planned parenthood,

in PA

moved to CA

ceiling on how high I could rise on east coast, sex negative attitudes

CA, openness around cannabis, alternative forms of sexuality, holistic wellness

2013, access to medical cannabis

changed game for me, dispensery, want to feel this or that

watershed moment

pain with penetration as result of trauma

product, thc infused oil for vulvas/yonis

decrease discomfort, increase pleasure

product changed my life

penetrative sex without pain first time as adult, game changer

started writing, speaking at events

one of leading experts on sex and cannabis in the world

TP:

amazing, feel you on all that stuff, listening and appreciating you have taken up that roll, surprising for me, and others

earth’s best kept secret, topicals, more herbal alchemy to get some of the places where its needed most, different kind of experience psychologically, different strains, stereotype around edibles making you crazy, body highs, different textures, how do you speak/present, what you should expect, absorb through tissues, nerve endings through those pathways

AM:

botanical ambassador, speak for the plants

one of most pervasive myths, sex and cannabis, you have to be stoned, stoned sex,

if you apply to body, it’s not gonna get you high, really useful, some folks don’t want to be high

flexibility, interact with plant medicine without intoxicating effects

things that will get you high, inhalation, ingesting, sublinguals, be mindful of smoking

effects rapidly 5-15 minutes, edibles, up to 2 full hours to feel effects

digestive track

thc goes through digestive system turns into 11 hydroxy, sedate, body focused version of thc, edible high different

edibles aren’t gonna make you crazy, however very very easy to overdo

guestimating, story dispensary, start too high

10mg take you on quite a ride

be very mindful about ways in which they interact with any kind of plant medicine

feel in, be present with experience, always add more later, impossible to subtract

TP: edibles face, I’m thinking everything at once, had some doozies, myself, took long time to realize, shouldn’t be potent, in something you’re gonna wanna take whole bites of and scarf down, cookies and brownies, should stuff a chili

how you describe effect of sensations apply to very sensitive genital tissues, how does it alter sensitivity of areas

AM: multifacited approach, everybody experiences differently, depends on how your body interacts, tolerance body chemistry, hormone levels

anything I’m gonna tell you, effects to look out for, grain of salt, mileage may very

broadly speaking thc is vasodialator, blood vessels capillaries to expand

more blood flow to area, mimicking arousal

swelling, in a good way, erections, notice tissue, blushing, thc when applied, kind of an important thing

more blood flow, more responsive tissue, hightened sensitivity

cbd, all the rage, cool, useful, not quite panacea, placebo, marketing, is helpful, manage expectation

cbd good for anti inflammatory, helpful if you have swelling that’s not good

inflammed tissues from trauma

if you’re playing with body chemistry do talk to doctor

due diligence

for me been to dozens of doctors, pain with penetration, no one could help me

thc reduction of discomfort

thc/cbd work well together

absence of discomfort, diminished discomfort

hightened sensitivity,

stamina, multiple orgasms

increased production of vaginal fluids, wetness from topicals

vasodialation, top reason

kick off lube centers

I’m a fan

TP: thanks so much, first time I thought about how it seems like the more holistic approach to erectile dysfunction, people might try this before they try something more big pharma-ish

something you’ve researched with clients

ED issue folks?

AM: I take a very holistic approach to ED, in my work with clients, really like to decentralize the phallus, sex can occur at different levels, less of I’m not hard so we can have sex, mouths, hands, toys, …

cock rings, reach for help create harder more sustained erections

with cannabis and erections very much, be very careful, threshold helpful, increase blood flow, very easily cross into “stoner boner” you can’t

erections more active process, if really distracted, really stoned, may not be able to focus enough on erection

try small small doses, see how works for you, holistic approach, dick doesn’t have to be hard to have a good time sexually, all these other things I can do,

TP: to your point, you’ve mentioned this before, decentralize the phallus hashtag,

from my experience I could see that decentralizing the phallus process, a lot of other folks like myself, working with other men, teach to have more mastery, awareness, stages of arousal, more in control of premature ejaculation, maintaining erections, arch of testosterone

can definitely bring attention, through self pleasure, more of a tantric lingam massage experience, wouldn’t want to have to maintain an erection to get someone else off, if just doing you or someone else just doing you

on that note, don’t know if something you administer, knowledge/experience

sexological body workers

pelvic massage work

AM: haven’t interfaced directly in formal sense, I do some hands on work in my practice

oils to play parties, tends to go really well

these oils are meant to be a marinade, don’t work in real time, actually much more effective for vulva/yoni more so than penises, unless you stick dick in jar for 20 minutes, don’t have some absorption as vulva

TP: enter the mangina

AM: certainly do anal absorption, suppositories, rectal absorption, very effective great for prostate, anal play,

penises, inhalation, ingestion, method more effective with regard to sexuality and pleasure, topicals for penises not super effective, a few folks works awesome, others, makes it terrible

TP: eventually formal studies, I am myself uncut, uncircumcized, can’t really compare in one life time to either, a plus for my absorption, this makes me also wonder if you have advice for strains for either smokable or edible that would be more exciting, stimulating for maintain erections, fun to have a stoner boner that works

AM: nice when that works out, not able to give specific, how going to work for you and body, everybody’s different strain that works for you and your body not work for someone else

strains can be different

things that make a different, even indica sativa

have to put on science hat, read lab results

turpines end up shaping experience

completely subjective

not exact science, not as easy as oh yeah smoke this and that will work for you

TP: emotional labor of doing trauma advocacy work, curious if you have adapted the cannasexual practices/teachings/offerings, for people who, physical pain, pathways advise people on to integrate different forms of cannabis in more psychospiritual healing tool kit for sexual trauma

AM: examine what’s getting in the way, pain, stress, stuck in head, flashbacks, disconnected from body, try different cannabis products see what’s useful in that area

random strain, gambling, don’t know how it’s gonna hit you, intention

more effective to get clear on what it is that you’re going for

for me, pain with penetration, topical really useful

injury from accident or trauma, knee, wrist

mental block, getting triggered, feeling disconnected from body, things you can inhale, different strains, which one is helpful to quite down voice in head

feel sensations in body

no one thing is gonna heal your trauma

not gonna be cannabis, or session with healer

awareness around body needs, communicate in real time

therapeutic professional

trauma healing journey, not just one shot, did this now I’m fixed

never want someone to say ashley said I can help my trauma with cannabis

it can help, it’s a tool

diagnosed ptsd

TP:

I’ve had to go through this initiation with cannabis over the years, life hacker, bio hacker thing, figuring out how to mitigate and minimize episodes of paranoia, don’t want to say overdose

gardening, green thumb/brown thumb

start with mint, rosemary, vs tomato, dries out, get triggered traumatized, brown thumb, a lot of times cannabis, negative formative experiences, sets them up for continue failure,

general advice around mitigating bad trip for smoking or eating weed

AM: overconsumption issue, thc has biphasic effect, opposite effect at high and low doses, subjective, broadly appropriate doses for you body, chemistry, likely to feel euphoria, relaxation, pain relief, hungry, social, spacey overall pleasant

when crosses over level, transitions into paranoia, nausea, dizziness, panick attacks, rapid heart rate, threw up once after a dab, more than system could handle

avoid that, low and slow

if somebody’s handing you something you’ve never had before, what do I need to know about this

cannabis events, last few years, stations set up people walk up and do a dab, vaporizing cannabis concentrate, 50-90% thc, average flower strain smoking, between 10 and 30 % thc, way more than would normally get in just a breath

way too much, have a bad time

or take an edible wait 30 minutes, don’t feel anything, take more, then 1.5 hours later, regretting all life choices in order

on that ride for 4-6 hours with edibles, can’t over stress importance of low and slow, think microdosing

TP: so useful, pivotal bit of insight

overdosing it’s that simple

you overdosed, if you drank too much alcohol the first time…

AM: usually don’t say overdose, OD means you’re gonna die, you’re not, even if you consumed shit tons of thc, you may wish you were dead, but you will not die, you cannot toxically overdose on thc, you can over consume

TP: overconsume, psychological stomach ache

AM: or actual stomach ache, small dab take me into next year

TP: kids these days, ok boomer, I filled in for somebody at a booth, trade show conference, everyone smokin themselves silly, all the people half my age, dabbing like it was going out of style, I didn’t take anything, just sitting there, worst splitting headache, chemical, felt like inhaling burnt tires

studies, is there any other words of caution around dabbing, vaping,

AM: dabbing and vaping, both vaporizing, vaping referring to vap pens, typically people seem to not get as, potency scale, flower not as potent as vape pens, not as potent as dabs, potency spectrum

very limited studies, require money, people not putting money into any of those things

lot of fears last year, vape pens issues with lungs, vap cartridges not idea method

problematic companies, putting bad products on market, cutting with vitamin e oil, counterfit products,

buying vape cartridge from gas station, think about what you’re buying

5 star restaurant or fast food, pay for quality, price point

do research on companies that are reputable

lab results, show they don’t have pesticides, microbials, savvy consumer, go low, less processed the better, organic lifestyle, closer it is to coming out of the ground, pesticides, molds, read lab results, be a savvy consumer

vaping flower is arguably the best way to inhale cannabis, because you are getting the cannabanoids at lower temperature, more effective, opposed to 1000 degree lighter, smoke in lungs, not great, be easier on lungs, may be better choice to consider

vaping flower

dabs be mindful of extraction method, butane, c02, heat and pressure, called rosin, my fav, very holistic, very nature, flower squish between 2 hot pieces of metal, organic, yummy, preserve turpines, broad spectrum flavor profile, do research

internet is vast resource a lot of shit out there, good stuff too

sex and cannabis professional alliance

articles all about sex and cannabis, one member is harvard md, two members, colleague sex educator, product formulator, robust group of experts, tips and insights

TP: awesome, in general from horticulture, eating utensils, moving away from heating up plastic in all sectors of life

old fashioned, I know about water pipes and chillums, one hitters, roaches, blunts, don’t know about high tech stuff millenials running around with, do like the notion of vaporizing, old giant magic ball looking things

opportunities to say, glass and metal only, very few plastic parts, for burning mechanism, imagine people are heating up a lot of plastic, I’m a wrong

AM: don’t see a lot of plastic in materials, in terms of the was in which you would consume, don’t see a ton of plastic, doesn’t stand up to heat, metal, glass, ceramic,

fav vap, vap exhale, desktop vaporizer, outside is plastic, never gets heated, everything that gets heated is either metal or glass, convection vaporizer, set temperature, lot of those on the market

ghost vaps, dozens, possibly hundreds

find the ones that are most inline with your values

TP: that’s a great introduction to cannasexual expertise, want to spend time talking about general sex coaching

certain modality traditions, how would you introduce that sector of the buffet of you

AM: not like most people, a little different, trauma informed, queer, body positive, inclusive coach, intend to be as thoughtful about things like trauma, body dysmorphia, gender, …as possible

masters program, philosophy, existentialism, western philosophy, inform the way I approach issues, question assumptions, reframing limiting beliefs

recommend folks have therapist and a sex coach

coaching if future oriented, solutions focus, where are you and where do you want to be and what’s getting in the way

opposed to how did you get this way, how do you want to integrate that into your narrative

TP: interesting, rebel, alternative, do you have advice for people who, its interesting when you have a client who is walking between worlds of orthodox therapeutic offerings and then having to reconcile 2 different voices and influences, do you feel like you ever clash with the mainstream therapeutic modalites, or stay in a lane where there’s no friction, is that possible

AM: so many varieties of mainstream, not all align with my values, from tantra, sex education, things I don’t agree with

I diverge, very inclusive don’t rely on gender binary, people with vulvas and people with penises, to not gender

hippie woo-woo witch, lot of focus on crystal healing, egg crystals in pussy

dangerous to be putting porous materials

toxic shock

TP: I don’t know enough about, I refer people out, to zoom in on that a bit, do you feel like, I’m sold, reports of women, as a penis having person, the experience of making love to a vulvaed person who has a yoni egg of some variety of material, their dexterity with pc muscles sense of awareness of themselves, nothing comes close and I never want to go back, the egg thing is something I’m sold on, still confused around what is safe or unsafe, to what degree, could we zoom in on that

AM: its a materials issue, there have been kegel balls, yoni egg is fancy hippie woo woo word for kegel balls, putting circular shaped item into vagina, using it to focus on clenching and releasing pelvic muscles, nothing wrong with that, that’s great, mindful in development, really great, no issue

it’s a material issue, crystals are not things you should put into vagina, however if you want a kegel ball made of silicone, of which there are many, or glass or metal or any other nonporous material, you’re golden

against idea, new age, rose quartz, heal me from inside, if we’re talking about energy, doesn’t have to be touching, it’s all magic, put on pubic mound…should have same effect

crystal healing, I use…i’m a fan…i don’t put them inside, porous material, can get bacteria embedded you cannot cleanse away, even soak with alcohol, soap and water, can’t completely sterilize them

bacterial vaginosis, yeast infection, reinfect yourself,

not supposed to leave it in for 6 hours a day

not good, to keep pc muscles clenched all day long

you have to relax, and contract, important to be able to both

most people with vulvas have too much tension

missing from yoni egg conversation, I’m gonna put this rose quartz in my pussy and it’s gonna heal all my shit…no no no, let’s not get carried away

TP: happy medium, just be mindful about mitigating risks, not going all in or all out, interesting

AM: you could put in condom, crystal core in middle of metal or silicon toy, but just throw a condom on it, that’s fine

TP: keep it simple stupid

AM: don’t over think it, rectally, don’t want to put anything in your ass that doesn’t have a bass

TP: sidebar, I’m good to go, coming close to good hour, feeling like, plenty for people to take notes on, give you some time to get back on track with exploration of your general sex coaching offerings, tell people how they can find you

AM: sex coaching primary work with women identified folks and couples, client based presently, all my sessions via zoom, don’t have to worry about vicinity, every once in awhile, in person, vip clients,

clients all over the place

coaching is definitely premium for good reason, really work hard with clients, give all tools at my disposal, resources, books I’ve read, things I’ve gathered into professional tool kit, offerings if coaching is not in your financial purview

podcast, free, access to my brain, not able to work with me

elevated intimacy, everywhere podcasts are available, really really great opportunity to get access

destin gerek on a few episodes ago, his new book, great opportunity for folks to get free knowledge

elevatedintimacy.com

hand sex master class

dirty talk quick start guide, email list

first to hear when dirty talk course is available for purchase, excited to offer online courses, privacy, own time, exciting offering

couples retreat in Jamaica, plan, end of october, over halloween weekend, sex and cannabis couples retreat, at cannabis friendly resort

lovedirtytalk.com

phone sex operator for a year, very much my wheel house, teaching dirty talk, easy for me, want to make it easy for other people

TP: I’ve been phone sex operator myself, should be general requirement for any sales, marketing, college track to be able to speak with confidence

phoriawellness.com coupon code cannasexual, save 10%

Brad Mitchell Mojohost Award

High Quality Website Hosting for Adult Content with Mojohost President Brad Mitchell TPP279

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In this episode I’m joined by my new favorite web guru Brad Mitchell for a next level journey into the value of the high quality services provided by Mojohost

Please visit Mojohost at:

 https://www.mojohost.com/

About Brad:

For 21 years Brad Mitchell has been a presence in the adult space that has defined him as one of the most trusted, respected and recognizable faces in the industry. As the president and founder of MojoHost, Brad has built one of the fastest growing and customer-approved hosting companies with more than 1,200 companies as clients worldwide. Brad has been published many times over the years and is a frequent speaker at industry conferences. MojoHost is a multiple winner of XBIZ’s Best Web Host, GFY’s Web Host of the Year and Ynot’s Best Hosting Company Award and Brad himself holds numerous distinctions, topped by the AVN Hall Of Fame Internet Founders Award. Often recognized as the preeminent host of our industry and acclaimed by customers, Brad is a family man who will always take the time to help. Brad’s experience, knowledge and personality make him a go-to guy in the adult industry. He believes in honest business practices and helping people, and lives by the motto #ThatsGoodMojo.

My Non Verbatim Show Notes:

BM: Corey Silverstein, most profound industry attorney, representing talent and companies, he’s actually my best friend, met long time ago, before he passed the bar, mojohost has been using his legal services for the whole time he’s been a lawyer

TP: awesome, glad to hear that

BM: started august 1999

in health care before tech and adult entertainment

life moments, purchasing first house, getting married, 23-24 years old, decision, job that I had wasn’t inline with goals, 7 years into career, that going in all right places, decided wasn’t what signed up for, gave notice

started searching for business for sale

collection of adult website for sale, active in commerce, bought pay sites, started journey down path

first few years, bought websites that had revenue, 10-12k a month in rev, didn’t know when started, awful lot, didn’t know due diligence, didn’t know person selling was defrauding me, rocky start, management to make the best of it

sites were, all stolen content, fraud recurrering credit card database, deleted everything, rebuilding different niche sites with licensed content, starting all over again, before starting hosting company

established pay site program, for a few years also had phone sex marketing company, early on as site owner, trying to figure out what else I could promote

didn’t trust concept of affiliate programs, traffic was organic from search engines

got niche specific toll free premium rate entertainment lines

first conference may of 2000, on mission trying to find company there to do fulfillment

teach other webmasters to do what I’m doing, make .25, .50

back then, searching on internet, weren’t marketers there

early origin story

always been technically inclined, bought service, put in data center,

made friends in industry

started to re-sell some hosting to offset and lower bills

april of 2002, when I officially went into hosting business, running phone affiliate program,

current business partner today, upon his suggestion, started partnership, he was CTO managing all things technical, I was managing finances, sales, operations, been a long time since then

today over 1000 clients all over the world

1500 servers, 2 different data centers

several dozen employees doing technical support

quite a journey, watching all the tech, working with so many companies

the 1000 I host today represent more than 3000 individuals and companies I’ve worked with since we started

TP: blessings to you for taking on these opportunities and challenges, a lot of learning curves

BM: for sure, never really learned anything the easy way

remember having talks at trade shows, people arguing about giving away 15 second free video clips, around those years, people started to publish video on the internet, bandwidth used to be super expensive,, content was behind a paywall

typically a life cycle of 4-6 years, for someone’s business

so many amazing entrepreneurs, very few ideas and implementations you can create once and just sort of last forever

have to continue reinventing selves and products

catchphrase, that’s good mojo

corporate mantra, from sales to technical support

always in support of customers

give as much info as possible

as much as can, try to empower customers, with all the tools they need

much rather have creative entrepreneurs finding a home here that people with stagnant businesses

95% customers in adult entertainment or advertising space

busy in this space

1-2 years, making efforts, adding staff, augment marking, expand reach

amazing set of technical products, haven’t been reaching fullest audience

TP: appreciate longevity of your operation, definitely hanging in there, flash backs of those chokepoints in bottlenecks in bandwidth and streaming

survived different waves of politics/tech

difference between adult friendly and unfriendly web hosting services

pitch for why people need to do it right the first time, start with adult friendly tech stack for content

BM: my experience, as always a lot of preconceived notions

most basic level, being on internet, even buying a domain, they think godaddy

even when it comes to starting at very beginning, most registrars, have something that looks like a bundled plan,

hosting package, maybe includes domain, show low domain price, 9.99, details fine print, intro price, renews at price higher on year two

we’ve done, convenience for client base everyday low price on domains, include privacy services

.com, always 9.99 no higher, no upcharge for privacy, offer as convenience

for average person, challenging to pick a good web host, if not what experience is grounded in

10s of 1000s website selling hosting, most are resellers, reselling hosting services from other organizations

one or several servers in a data center, don’t own servers don’t own network, don’t own ip space, aren’t negotiating bandwidth, their providing tech support, renting server from hosting company

always gonna be a cheaper price for webhosting, paying for what you get

smaller companies, maybe a great match, get lucky, super attentive admin

wake up in middle of the night, respond timely, handle tickets quickly

don’t have economy of scale for support

when we started, literally, if in middle of night server went down, he’d have to get woken up to fix server

extreme example on small end of webhosting, dont think it’s good place to host with

dont’ have depth of experience, or buying power to assemble a good product

mojo host, servers in 2 continents, separate company in netherlands

1,500 servers online

one of things differentiates us the most

going from one end of spectrum, small web host, selling management on top of renting a real hosting company

opposite would be going with something like go daddy, huge company

challenge with opposite end, is that they have many many tiers of technical support experience, pick up phone, call, medium or complex question, get someone at first tier of tech support, navigate through technical bureaucracy, to get right advice

mojo host 25 senior sys admins, 5-15 years experience

spend several months teaching more, how to do things our way, we can be accountable to expectations/outcomes for customers

few hundred very large webhosting companies, I’m on small end of spectrum, we’re on of them based on traffic, client count, server count,

most of larger companies not selling high touch customer service product, they are trying to move quantities of servers, selling just based on price point, buying hosting can be really confusing

misleading

analogy, ever had unlimited cellular plan, only to find out its not unlimited?

Rate limiting/throttling, no body wants that

definitely don’t want that on a server

revenue tracks with customer experience

difference in cost, less than what you think

can explain how hosts buy bandwidth, how they do their internet routing,

we assemble best networking, best support team, hardware nerd

goal, to deliver everyday good price for great product, with support that’s amazing

proud of it

our tech support, not allowed to say no, work till blue in the face to help

programming advice, feedback on bad scripting, mindful of security considerations

manage to client success

independent creative thinker, problem solver

TP: more and more sold, a lot of my pain points are being nudged on a bit

realizing more and more, I probably have been shooting myself in the foot

BM: don’t beat yourself up too much

I see it a lot when people are buying

takes a connection, good conversation, have it explained to you

a buyer of hosting, always okay to ask why, always an explanation

there’s an answer for everything

truth of it is, on tech support, wage scales are very high for top notch, technical talent

staff used to cost me 30-45k a year 10 to 12 years ago, now in north america,

65-over 100k a year with full benefit package,

tech support may take an hour to solve your problem, complex trouble shooting

if you’re buying a plan that’s 10 or 20 or 50 or 99$ a month, there’s a real clock that’s ticking on the other endof the phone,

support difference, it would be very easy to try to layer that with less qualified tech support to average those costs down

I’ve had such a crack sys admin team

team is global

guys in us, michigan where headquarters, florida, maine, wisconsin

office in ukrain, 18 sys admins

2 in phillipenes

high standard for who your hiring, english skills, good team fit?

Fit for company culture, integrity, work ethic, creativity, attitude, positive attitude, make for great employees

physically living doesn’t matter so much

super high quality staff

don’t hire any candidates

TP: if I’m dealing with any service provider who’s not on board with adult industry, tip towing, egg shell walking, shy, enter what’s your domain, on support ticket, I cringe, will they be biased

BM: you never know,

personal views might affect outcome of what your trying to accomplish, that’s one risk factor, the other

big companies, broad sweeping policy changes that affect everybody

canadian web hosting company, didn’t want to host any more adult website, never got to speak with any principles of that entity, don’t know what rationale was, led to them having many customers that needed to find a new home

found us, seamlessly get those people moved over

helped them all win

more servers, more bandwidth, better or lower price

that’s the risk you run with medium size companies that think to have policies

with larger entities, even more complex risk factor,

example: abuse complaints can be a very wide spectrum of opinion, there’s the laws that exist, very real, all abide by those, when it comes to email or content related, obscenity, start getting into areas some of which well defined, others very subjective

when a client is sitting at a very very large web host, dozens or 100s of people in abuse department, handing broad spectrum they’re not invested in understanding what’s going on, what they’re looking at, maybe they don’t have to care… that right decisions being made, right actions being taken

we’ve got silverstein as attorney, see eye to eye on all of those issues

protect customers so they can feel safe if they’re doing good honest business

at same time, I do everything in my power that people doing bad things on the internet don’t have any safe places to hide, can’t do it on my network

another benefits to being at a host that’s so engaged with whats right/wrong legally and dare say morally, I’m able to keep whole flock of customers safer by making really smart decisions about what we will and wont’ allow on our network

mega hosts, often the victim of neighborhood that they’re in

making sales, everything a sign up page, not really conversation with customers

not interested …some fly by night spam nonsense, things that are deceitful can create bad internet network neighborhood

more often victim of ddos

beautiful things at mojohost, network, filled with good neighbors, makes everyone’s stuff safer, not looking to add every possible sale to mojohost, only seeking good customers

any indications that someone’s doing something fraudulent/illegal, happy to get them off our network, helps protect …other servers, protects IP reputation

TP: again all these flashbacks, being hacked by some vuln on some other shared host, not maintaining

you get what you pay for

you don’t get what you don’t pay for

BM: in order to keep my staff effective, don’t sell shared hosting, we do sell them to people, mostly friends and family, anyone we’ve known or met can talk to us, if don’t have a plan at your price point we’ll create one for you, good people doing good things on internet

shared hosting is massively over subscribed, dozens to hundreds of customers, hundreds to 1000s of domains and put on single server, problem is working under same installation of operating system, all same memory, ram, disk resources, hard to give somebody guarantee on quality of service at that price point

say you have wordpress site, one domain, hundred other people wordpress site on own domains, inexperienced, start adding things to wordpress, no consideration, exploits that theme or mod, when last update, how secured,

shared hosting, someone got rooted on the box, affects everybody’s websites

sharing ip addresses, now goofed for everybody

im not able to serve all of the masses, but that’s not the goal of the business

if you want a more predictable, more reliable, higher performance, more deeply supported experience you’re gonna have to pay a bit more, not necessarily a lot more, but a little bit more

10 a month to 50 a month, what are you getting what are you paying

company like mine, committed to industry, really resourceful

open line of communication, jack, keith, natalie, to our attorney,

if someone’s smart, tap relationships right, being in the club gets you access to everybody

travel the world, 10-12 adult conferences a year, meeting people all over the place sometimes that means, if you had a problem with say your paxum account, maybe I can connect you with someone to help you get it fixed

good mojo, I know such and such, see if I can help you get this squared away, other business value feel like we can add, for customers and friends

always happy to help whenever possible

TP: definitely stoked on that way of approaching it, I’ve felt very alone, naked and afraid, on the internet, I would say to be honest at this point, the threshold I’ve arrived at personally, I’ve been sort of in a bit of an incubator, experimenting, see if can find niche, find traction, it is what is, been what’s it’s been, now would be able to justify premium, more robust

can’t justify liability, not having team behind me

it wouldn’t be one of those 3 letter agencies to be the first ones to tell me I’m doing something wrong, it would be you and corey and everybody else, have all the security on your end correct, things you’d never know in your blindspot, never ending attacks

advanced round

what I’m desperately looking for now, cyber security, info sec, data breach, listening to podcasts

hole in most hosting service providers, some of them them allow multifactor authentication on cpanel, most don’t looking for ones that do, in today’s world, have shared secrets on server, evil made, insider, issue, public key, shell, mfa,

could you give me the elevator pitch on how the admin dashboard, cpanel, ect. Even ftp/ssh access, how can people have the most bulletproof secure access and management experience

BM:

blow your mind, hate selling people cpanel, recommend against it every chance we get

you’ve got managed hosting here’s your cpanel, have at it, doesn’t sound very managed, self servicing, hoping you don’t fuck things up

on top of it, baked into your costs, cpanel licensing fees, cpanel bought by larger entity, licensing very different, what does it mean to you

changed all licensing and royalty amounts

increased prices to consumer

some instances double or triple the fees

change in raw costs on licensing

cpanel has a great product, some alternatives, mostly at mojo, very different, no control panel, my staffs doing the work, you want to ad 5 domains, you put in a support ticket, tell us what the domains are, alright guys go in and add all the domains, we set up all the firewalls, add all email accounts. Like a consierge service

TP: feel like infinite attack surface anytime I log in

BM: …from tech perspective, staffed up with such qualified sys admins, more granular, directly command line, write on scripts to manage server, automate things on the back end, not like my guys going into control panel, copying and pasting into script, lots of things in backend, more efficient, more accurate, customize for betterment of client

when you order hosting for pretty much any other “regular host” getting default install, no tweaking anywhere, not database, …

we believe, best practices all of these different very specific areas, security, performance

might be paying a little more with us to have personal support, senior level sys admin, don’t have to know how to do the work, don’t have to know how to solve the problems, we’ll fix it, explain what happened, explained what options are, removed learning curve,

not just default, taylored to support your needs for some part of your runway

experts at helping people grow your business

we’ve got all that experience

you could start with small vps, dare I say shared hosting account, specialists at highly complex set ups

we help guide our customers into those solutions

we have the way we want to do things…do these complex set ups, end up writing wikis for each client

TP: definitely just blew my mind, dream come true, never would have thought that far out of the box, foot bound by all my experienced about 20 years, web master, designer, always renting, bouncing from one nightmare meltdown to another

BM: gap from when where you’re buying before and where you could be buying may be 10s of dollars

…we’ll do the whole move for you, we’ll move em you test tem

TP: want to get into some weeds with some of your tech guys, gonna make the commitment to make the migration as soon as possible, mind has been blown

the thing that is the deal breaker that sounds like you’re able to soothe my stress around these deal breakers

BM: satisfaction guarantee

I want your complete satisfaction

we’re all human, mistakes do get made, work for a client, work hard for them

with us, we are always going the extra step

mistakes are made, happens some times, important to us that we own it, responsibility, apology, real explanation

very subjective from there on out

get very few requests for invoice credits

my hope is we’re always having a conversation

corrective measures so doesn’t happen in future

things come up, issue at next staff meeting,

something really bad does happen, wanting to overcompensate, can’t insure somebody’s whole business….do best we can

TP: what I could hope for is something almost unimaginable in other paradigms, what I’ve always wanted to do is actually have the engineers behind the delivery of my content, have the master plan of threat model, growth trajectory, proactive about hedging risk, move slowly, absorb surprise scaling, client-consultant relationship, within reason is bundled within hosting plan, wiki for client, that’s the level of now we’re talking high level , intimate codevelopment of a brand

BM: even if you did find another good host, give attention, whole experience breaks down at initial sales process, sales person…

cool thing about mojohost, we all work together when needed, depending on clients needs, not managing to monthly bonus, no trickery, not trying to upsell, scaled business without that, doesn’t work to my benefit in some ways, long term establishes rapport with customers, trust them with business

very consistent experience

if you’re business changes on the fly, get some crazy social media, something goes viral, we figure out all that billing shit afterwards, if it’s an event already happening, happening now, post mortem, we can figure, this is maybe how we need to change your plan, resources

very fluid, if you’re going down or up….

Make changes retroactively, bigger, smaller, which ever direction it needs to go

TP: great general overview, I’m sold, I’m moving forward, honestly having corey on your team is all it took, wonderful vibe from you

my biggest wet dream is to have sophisticated penetration testing/red teaming, sure you have access to the kind of people who would be trust worthy in that department, hesitant to go shopping for pen testers not knowing if they’re just gonna have a good old time, joy riding my site backwards and forwards, installing back doors, a lot of trust in that kind of stuff

BM: we take a very interesting approach, within your desire to do that, experiences in the past, fears of the future, best place to take that conversation, could happen in support ticket, we could talk through and explain over the phone, Vps, any of the guys on our staff, really nerds, love what they do, understand your business, what the risks are

when we install on server, not default install, its a mojo installation, no ssh or ftp access unless ip is white listed

part of list of best practices on how we want to deploy service, I’m warrantying your whole service on my network and hosting company

sometimes might mean you may ask for something and we say no, always a reason for it, always based on experience, doesn’t mean there aren’t other ways to accomplish what the clients want to do

happy to help any way we can

TP: gives me chills, want to not have a million options that open me up to all kinds of fuckery, want a very hardened experience

have people with more experience watching over it, being that war room

BM: first thing you truly want to look at , what’s all the software you’re running on your server

battle tested software solutions in adult space, serve us very well, maybe ongoing cost …some upfront fee, but you’re buying something that’s been installed on 1000s of sites, storage cloud, cdn, turn key

a lot of security stuff comes down to good software choice and bad software choices

hard way seems like easy way…cheap plugins

different trade offs

we can help clients, guide into make right choice for business at right point in time

I boot strapped my business, understand what it’s like

have to remember, trying to build an environment for self, predictability, scalability, safety, follow path others have gone before you, its a good way to go, expert level experience

software that’s been battle tested

10s of millions, 100s of millions of vistors a day

bad programming makes for bad hosting

always gonna be working hard to compensate for bad programming

people miss point of that

don’t see how much extra its costing them to use something they could have paid a little more upfront for that’s gonna work better

TP: pay the farmer or pay the doctor, ounce of prevention worth a pound of cure, how much does it cost for the average data breach settlement, pay upfront for more hardening, security,

BM: appreciate being on podcast

TP: can’t get enough

BM: mojohost.com, international, mojohost.eu, two separate portals

have conversation with us

sales@mojohost.com, copies whole team, someones always working or watching their email

skype call or zoom call, want to learn more about your business, experience in the past

use all of our experience to make the best solution that meets your budget and your technical requirements

make your hosting free while you’re doing a move

concerned about quality job, customers number 1 over here

affiliate program pays really well

can set people up as an affiliate, referral, code, 8% residual, very personable here

TP: xbiz show, andaz hotel, rooftap rager, mojohost, silverstein legal party, had that good time, coming full circle, can’t thank you enough, corey enough, look forward to next steps, having you on again soon

 

Sensual Sharon with Phone

Exploring the Lifestyle of a Phone Sex Artist with Sensual Sharon Somers TPP217

Play

In this episode I’m joined by Sensual Sharon Somers for a fun and exciting exploration of the lifestyle of a phone sex artist. We learn about how the industry works, what it takes to make it, what to expect, how she’s been able to make it for years as a small business woman, the freedom and efficiency of home business operations, how she compassionately entertains and soothes the bizarre and often wounded sexual psyches of countless men, the patterns she’s observed, the broader ramifications for a more sexually healthy and expressed society, and much much more!

About Sharon :

Sharon has been a phone sex operator, recording artist and writer for adult websites for 11 years now. Her voice is well known online for the recordings of hundreds of erotic short stories she has done that are posted on her own sites and on erotic short stories sites.

https://erotictalkphonesex.com/index.html

https://eroticaudiorecordings.com/

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello Debra Levin podcast episode summaries who is a phone sex artist extraordinaire that’s all kinds of erotic audio and I reached out to The Exodus Community on the forms of extras. Net to see if there are any folks out there would like to do some self promotion and increase I had you keep folks on this podcast and had a few people step up and want to be on the show and then she’s one of them and I’m excited to share this beautiful wild Amazing adult industry with her and learn about 11 years I believe career in doing phone sex and an erotic audio media and I’m also in that game so I always love to meet other people who are doing doing that work and share that talk shopping and learn about some of the tricks of the trade so with that said Sharon do you want to tell us about it whatever detail is appropriate to come ask your true identity and to allow you to have your stage name but just curious if you could tell the story of Sharon Summers if it’s not totally your personal thank you very much for having me first of all being like a lot of ladies in the business unfortunately I got into it because of financial desperation granted that’s not the reason all women get into it but a lot do it, the last chance type of job for some people so I found myself doing that but I I found out pretty quickly that it actually fit perfectly in with my life I wanted something where I can work from home have the freedom of hours to login logout whenever I wanted if I need to go out for the day have a dentist appointment or want to go to the theater to see a matinee I don’t have anybody’s permission I can just log out and go and I love that kind of Freedom it it really just fits in with my nature so I started doing that and then very quickly after getting into the phone sex work I started doing the erotic audios and so clients will submit their stories that they’ve written about their fantasies and I will narrate them for them and they have those to enjoy and listen to over and over and over I mean want to call is over it’s over I don’t record calls or anything help clients don’t either but when they have an erotic audio they can just listen to that anytime they want that’s actually surprised me how many have said oh yes I do he’s a few times a week and I’m like wow you’re really getting your money’s worth out of those and I started doing writing for adult websites I had always written short stories for my own enjoyment before I ever got into anything at all. I’ve been writing short stories ever since I was a teenager and so I wrote a lot of the material for the earlier adios that I did before I mainly started doing one’s the clients submitted their work to me to narrate and so there was an owner of a phone sex company that was interested in posting some of my audio is on his his phone sex site from her clients that we’re waiting for collars and what not and so he said did you write these then I suggest and he said would you be interested in writing some blogs promoting my phone sex websites and I said of course I’ve never done it before but I’m willing to try so I’ve been writing for various phone sex websites for over 10 years on a weekly basis another operators as well because not all ladies enjoy the writing that they don’t have an aptitude for it and some companies actually will require the lady to submit a couple of written works a week because it helps a site with their search engine optimization Drive clients to the side against them higher up in the Google rankings and whatnot so they need somebody to write all this content and ladies that don’t like to write themselves will find somebody like me and I will write it for them then they pay me to do it so I do that in addition to the phone and the erotic audio said I do it’s so fascinating I just feel like we could be on Shark Tank or something right now or some other kind of really found your Niche and you it sounds like this is a calling for you and there’s so many layers of opportunity in ecosystem of feel like you are like pitching to Angel Investors and you’ve got a business plan you’ve got all these things kind of dialed in and and yeah just there should be a training program because it sounds like a dream life really isn’t it built the business unfortunately or fortunately for the veterans like me it has an extremely high turnover of women that we’ll try it some will only last a few hours some will last a few days so I’m a few weeks it’s not that common to find women that have been in it for the long haul like me and yet I know a couple of other ladies that have been doing it for 20 years 35 years have really been in the game from way before the internet even when it was just people working out of little Pocono call centers and whatnot I’ve always worked at home but when it started out before the internet people were working in these call centers I can’t even imagine doing a job like this then I call center it would be crazy but I know some of them have got this experience but a lot of girls that will try it they can’t deal with it they can’t deal with the needs and wants of some of these callers cuz they can be pretty unusual to have the kind waste so they will they’re just their socks off day they can’t do it so it has a very very high turnover of women that do it what do you think it takes to be one of the long-term success. I love to know what what you feel like Nikki. The power well I can only speak for myself I don’t know what motivates other people I think for the ones that really find out quickly that it fits in well with the lifestyle that they want to work from home have the flexibility of ours what have you they make it work and that was the boat that I’m in I never went to college I had never worked from the time I finish high school until I got into this I had only ever looked after my grandmother from the time I finish high school so when you’re here for a number of years you’ve never worked a day in your life your options are kind of limited on the flea and easy I certainly didn’t want to have to go back to school I hated school it just that was not what I wanted I mean who exactly is going to hire somebody that has zero experience you know what are your options McDonald’s or Wal-Mart really and I definitely we knew I did not want to do that so I told myself from day one failure was not an option that I had to make this work and I have made it work there certainly ladies that are a lot more successful profitable than I am but I get by I get by just fine and it just it fits perfectly so I knew that I had to make it work and it definitely helped that I do the audio is in the writing because that supplements my income there’s some lady said they only do calls there’s lots of them that don’t do any audio at all most certainly don’t do any writing so I’m very glad that I have those other things that I do and I do non-adult voice work as well not a lot the majority of the voice works that I do is adult in nature but I still have several companies that I do small jobs for for PBX phone systems where you know you’re doing Prince one for accounting press two for human resources guy do stuff like that as well as those I have several of these small little jobs of months I mean they’re just tiny little things but I always figured no matter how small the job is like that even if this company is only paying me $10 a month that’s $10 I otherwise would not have it all adds to the pot at the end of the month that’s how I look at it so yeah you know sometimes I’ll get 20 of reading some months from a company other time so only be a couple but they all out outfits how you have to look at it and you never know somebody that you’ve worked for they make it some kind of a lead for you of somebody else that wants somebody to do something like this and they’ll recommend you so there’s all kinds of different things by I love the voice over work I do the most boring job I ever had for voice-over was I had to take the series of audios on english-as-a-second-language oh my God that was just torture it really was a job get through it it was just the most boring tedious thing but I’m not there to be entertained I’m there to narrate their script I realized that I’m not there to have a great time so you just get through the work and and that’s it and I’m grateful for all these little voice over jobs that come my way adults or vanilla weather brings up a good point which is that anybody who has or whatever reason the occasion to even dabble in anything they don’t industry it’s going to give you a lot of life skills and negotiation skills communication skills business personal finance all kinds of even even legal sometimes contract writing and reading skills and so I looked that you’ve been able to Branch out and just sounds like you’re living the dream of the freelancer who’s actually been able to make it and then I never have to work for the man in a way that makes you feel like you’re stuck in a cubicle 95 or something him at school, she’s like you don’t know how lucky you’ve got it I wouldn’t say I’ve living the dream you know talking to guys and every day and night about their 2 inch penis as I don’t know where that would be considered living the dream but whenever it talking to the grates on my nerves and I can’t listen to one more of them complain about how they have a 2 inch penis or some other bizarre problem I have I just keep telling myself these people you know your bread and butter people that I’ve told the first thing that they will say is all you’re so lucky to be able to work from home that is one thing that everybody says one of the first things when I when I tell people that I do that they’re they’re jealous they want to be able to work from home and they can’t and some of them I got long commutes and I mean I love live theater I go to Toronto several times a year to go see shows and lots of times I’ll be sitting on the train I go on the commuter train in the morning and these poor people there like slave helicopter laptops own and everything doing their work on the way to work and sometimes they’ll tell me oh yeah I take the train for an hour there and an hour back or there was one way to deceive in 2 hours each way I thought what kind of life is that to be commuting one to two hours each way I wouldn’t do that for anyting you know my commutes for four feet from the bed to the chair her basically I just can’t imagine people having to commute like that in their whole lives are wrapped up in this is like dark when they leave the house dark by the time they get home that’s not a life for me so I’m very very grateful I can work at home awesome yeah well I actually had they said I’ve done been this work quite a number of hours myself and I said some of the best money I’ve ever made and you always get those repeat clients and they just kind of stuck in a loop of like a broken record of the fantasy and I just want to pump you full of the money like your pinball machine or something really interesting you bring up the point about that the man with small penises and you feel like you have developed weather maybe it’s inmates you or make you feel like you’ve been able to be in some sensor a priestess of spiritual healer something some way of therapists in the sense that you’re helping people move make some progress in their their fantasy lives there and their body image of king of size issues that you get that fine that the people can rely on you for some of that type of nutrient your healing energy when I was in school so this job has fulfilled a lot of fat but it’s funny that you say about Sin all the different pant suits I remember when I started I was so worried thinking how am I going to think of a difference little scenario to spend for these guys every single time they call Will it quickly became apparent that I’d say about 90% of collars when they call they basically want the same call over again and I thought so many times for it to be so much easier if you just recorded it and replayed it because it’s almost like to know the letter to be exact sense of what they want you to say they there’s very few that actually seek a lot of variety in their fantasies most of them want to go through the exact same fantasy every single time so it’s like you can do those calls with those types of collars practically on autopilot because you know exactly what they want once you’ve done it a few times you know you have the script basically in your head and it’s funny the way that some of them just want the same thing over and over and over and I’ve had some clients for the whole 11 years and there’s still the same way it’s like every time they call they want to talk about the exact same thing so it’s kind of amusing to me honestly that there that predictable write it that I’ve had the same experience and I suppose if it’s something that doesn’t seem really self abusive or harmful then I’ll go along with it and and humor them and everything but I can’t I send it that’s them in some direction of of transcendence of of something if it’s really troubling to them a really sort of negative in some sense that but she also can’t be judgmental right so so you can you without holding anybody specifically or any specific can use talk about some of the general patterns beyond the obligatory small penis calls and maybe even talking about that it’s like what are some of these patterns that you’ve observed over that many years of what what what what’s going on inside of the mind of you lose man you know we don’t know how much, babe what what percentage of the population they really really really represent you know if statistically but but it’s great to be great to hear from you sound like what some of the the patterns are people can relate the lives of others definitely patterns that emerge once you talk to some of these people and totally different guys that have nothing to do with one another and they basically have the same fantasies the small penis humiliation calls it that’s one of my most popular calls that I get I get more of those practically than any other type of call and the pattern does quickly present itself you know this poor guy Mother Nature has shortchanged him there’s nothing he can do no matter how much money he’s willing to spend no matter what kind of surgeries he’s willing to endear there’s not really much that he can do he’s got a small dick and he’s always going to have a small deck and it is so ingrained in their minds that women are going to reject them make fun of them mock them other men are going to belittle them that I swear if these men had their greatest prayer answered and they woke up the next day with an 8 inch penis they wouldn’t know what the hell to do with it because it is so part of their psyche that they are small and inadequate to please a woman they wouldn’t know what to do with it they really wouldn’t they would be very uncomfortable there’s been several of these guys that I’ve said well why don’t you just go to an escort and they’re not going to reject you as long as you’ve got money they’re not going to reject you and they get so uncomfortable when I said that that they will do everything but a dance to get away from you know me saying that so I tried not even bother saying it anymore because it’s just falling on deaf ears they don’t really want to go to any woman that is going to accept them because that is foreign that is uncomfortable and that is unfamiliar and they don’t want it and if they did go to some escort that would take them no matter how small their dick is they would be probably as limp as a dish Rag and not able to do anything because they’re on foreign territory they’re only used two women laughing at them in or telling their girlfriends and making fun of them it’s it’s so so part of their nature now, but that’s all they’ve known their whole lives they don’t want anybody to accept them and and I said especially with a guy that’s just slightly undersized if he says I’m 5 in the North American average erect so I’m like well as small but it’s workable it’s not worth rejecting somebody over and they they don’t want to hear this they do not want to hear acceptance on any level they’re like oh no know if it’s under a tin they’re to be reasoned with they just want to be mocked and made fun of but that pattern very quickly comes out especially with those ones that group more than any other there’s there’s definite patterns guys into spanking fetishes were usually caught by mom masturbating and spank him with the punishment and even though mom may have been dead for the last 30 years they’re still beating off thinking of getting you know spanked when they were a kid for getting caught that pattern quickly came out to that that one’s very predictable if a guy has a spanking fetish the chances are he was spanked as punishment well yeah this is I would have to I would have to be honest and say I’m not a trained psychotherapist your psychoanalyst or anything but are you acting sad devil is an armchair philosopher at least of all things psychological and I think a lot of people into it the the earliest erotic experiences 10 to do the most hard wiring for the rest of your life and it’s very very interesting to see what that serve cocktail of experiences and things going on internally the chemistry and and how that sort of gels into something that creates that that template that people get stuck with running so they have you had the experience of actually seeing anyone find any well even anyone that has a desire to say hey I’ve got this recurring fantasy that I can’t break free of but I want to and can you help me kind of work through some material and gets to the point of sending me some people might say freedom from it or just having some something to even compare it to cuz if that’s all they know then they don’t even know the outside of that that Fishbowl could be my friend there was one color that comes to mind when you say that if somebody to have a fetish that they really did want to break free from he had actually gone to a psychiatrist he was so upset by it and he wanted to stop it but he couldn’t and the topic that I absolutely hate and I hate when guys ever call I usually just tell him to call somebody else he was an adult baby and these guys put diapers on and they they wet their pants and and go to the bathroom in the midst of disgusting and this guy was so upset that he enjoyed doing this he said I come home after work I put on my diaper I sit on the floor and I know I rub my cock and then I go to the bathroom in my diaper oh my God it’s just disgusting so he he was he was crying on the phone he was sober Afton upset about this and he’s like I’ve actually gone to a psychiatrist because I just don’t know what to do to stop and he’s like well the psychiatrist told me I’m not hurting anybody yes it may be kind of icky but at the end of the day I’m not hurting anybody nobody knows about it it’s not affecting anybody’s life so I’m just probably going to have to live with this attraction to this fetish and carry it out it will and I thought well the psychiatrist is right he’s not hurting anybody but it is pretty gross but I guess there’s worse things that people could be doing but I really don’t enjoy collars that wants to talk about God cuz I I have a strong X Factor about that topic but there’s people doing all kinds of weird and believe me you really don’t want to know what your coworkers are friends or neighbors or anybody is doing behind closed doors they tell me what they do behind closed doors and I’m horrified it at a lot of the stuff they tell me and nobody in their life knows about it they keep it a secret and I just get it’s amazing how they unload all this stuff and I can understand they can’t tell their wives because she kicked them out they can’t tell their friends because they would never be looked at the same so they and they wouldn’t have the nerve to tell a psychiatrist you know looking face-to-face with them these things so they find girls like me to share these desires with that they can’t tell anybody else and in a way to great honor that they are literally telling me their deepest darkest thoughts especially when there a personal client where I take their credit card information and I know their real name I know their address I know I know all this personal information so it’s even more flattering that they’re entrusting me with this deeply personal information and giving me all this trust you know what some company where they call and they can say their name is John Smith and you have no idea who they really are that is as Anonymous As It Gets I have no way of knowing when they’re calling a company like that but when it’s a direct dial type of call like I have on my own line and a couple of other lines that I work at you do have their real information and I always think you know you’re lucky I’m an honest person if you ever got some lady that decided to go Rogue and blackmail you you could be in for a whole lot of embarrassment at some of the things that they tell you but that one with the adult baby fetish he definitely really wanted to stop that but he just for whatever reason wasn’t able to stop but he just was addicted to it and some guys are addicted that is the word I would use to some of their fetishes and they know that it’s not healthy they know that is not say some of the activities that they’re engaging in and it’s like a drug they just can’t stop themselves when I think some of these guys are telling me the Craigslist personals was closed down a few years ago it was like the end of the world for a lot of the faithful to call me believe me because it was such a huge part of their sex life they would be going on these personal than having random sex with strangers and some guys say oh yeah I met this guy on the Craigslist personals and I met him in the back of his van and Home Depot parking lot good way to meet a serial killer the risks that some of these people are taking to satisfy their sexual desires if it’s honestly quite horrifying sometimes yeah I’m with you on that I would say one of the one of the creepiest scenario that I have to encounter so far in my career doing phone sex on the side is that this thing I didn’t even know it existed but he had the kind of invite me to it he had to basically prep me and you kind of give me the script ahead of time a verbally so that I would know what scenario he wanted to be kind of dropped into and in and it was the whole bug chasing thing of you heard of that already dealt with it and I mustn’t there with you on this Theodore baby thing I just want to get to 314 because Freud was all about that sexuality is actually anyting in the body that could be described as pleasurable in that begins with weather in anal repulsive or whatever that is so people just get attached to maybe don’t grow up acceptors all theories to about your whole personality being shaped by how long you’re bursting experience was whether he was a C-section or whether there was fecal matter that you were exposed to the process of blood that can determine so many things is really shaping everything that is there’s a it’s quite a bit by bit material but I honestly think that the way you’re describing is it’s like the entire Orthodox world of academic psychology and sociology if if they’re not getting PhD in this field basically studying what you’re talkin about then they have no clue because like you’re saying most people do not talk about this stuff in any other don’t then with their trusted phone sex are they all squeaky clean but I really liked on the niteflirt I remember once on the nightfort website they had kind of like a an intro little animated video clip and it’s just the kind of promote obviously the platform and kind of explain how it works what not but there was like an intro beginning to it where it showed a bus stop like a cartoon bus stop I’m just a couple of random dudes and whoever and MMA put out thought Bubbles and it was a little cartoon characters of the fantasy that they’re all thinking of separately at the bus stop and it was like all the quintessential Kink BDSM archetypes in leather and you know bondage and whatever else but it’s just like the idea that is really what’s going on if you see if we’re honest you know you could be in any crowding and everybody sort of having these thoughts for them yeah do you think that I guess you I’m curious how you would describe the sort of spectrum of you seems to be people who some people would say they don’t have anything other than vanilla you know really team like missionary romantic style pharmacies in made in that could be totally true but then there’s a whole group of people who are may be in denial or they’re fighting to suppress more homosexual or more violent or just whatever types of Tennessee’s and they may never experience it or talk about it or even like play with it much in their Fantasy Life interest people who are open and out and experiencing it in the Kink community and then there’s people who seem to be kind of release Kirsten stuck in their own world where their stuff is just running their lives and they can’t they don’t have really a healthy weight it to express that I’m just wondering if you were to just have to take a guess at the general population would save America are like helps what what ratio do you think if there is a people in different you can kind of take it however you like this what would be your if you were the Surgeon General of America and you had to be issued a report talking about the state of American fetishism and she is it we’re looking at him or you say well I don’t know about exact percentages and obviously it would be different for ladies than it is for men I do occasionally get a lady, but I get so few I can’t generalize with them as much as I can with the men because of the sheer lack of volume of women for me that I talk to but for men I would say I would say well over 70% have some kind of a you know a real king I do get ones that are just vanilla and they only want the most basic you know sex oral just very very vanilla and that’s fine I’m happy they’re very easy there’s nothing growth and talking to those guys but there’s ones that are so far off the map and I do not even cater to the more extreme ones I if if somebody’s wanting to talk about something really bad and I just don’t do it and tell him to find somebody else but some there’s definitely a lot that have a kink there is there really is and they just they can’t share it with anybody so over 70% of got some weird little fantasy and that I guess weirdness is subjective isn’t it I hear so much weirdness that may be what I would consider practically normal somebody that the civilian not in the adult industry would think oh my God that’s so weird I like her own doesn’t seem weird so I think we’re nothing normalness is all very subjective you can’t really say well the percentage of weird this percentage is kinky but there’s so many it it really surprises me how many guys that call that want to be with another guy that’s one of the top fantasy Sig I have the guys have as well as they want to talk or you don’t have a guy fuck something I’m I was shocked at that when I first started in the business that it was that widespread I mean it’s a very high percentage of collars and it’s also very high percentage of callers that are wearing ladies underwear and I never expected that I had no idea there were so many men that were wearing ladies panties under their clothes it seems pretty high from the number of guys to tell me that so those two things really stand out that are way more common than people would think yeah it’s it’s so it’s so sad in its to me and said that it’s the culture of the dominant culture so repressive it’s not just allowed to to be in body in your feminine aspect you’re coming inside in a more outspoken Republic Manor in and stole that idea that you have to hide it under your clothes and you can’t just be like hey we got Casual Friday what’s up family and Tuesday and see all kinds of measurable issues in society but you know it’s also makes me think about how the whole notion of the private citizen right to privacy and then the public officers and officials in in politicians and whatnot it’s expected that that well within reason everything that they’re all of their interest all of their past all of anything that can be dug up about their life history is fair game to scrutinize and I don’t know maybe and certainly in in more queer friendly districts like West Hollywood or the Castro I’m sure that it’s actually a selling point to your dear constituents to be a letter or something but for most of the rest of the country you would not be elected or you will be impeached her or else it is or whatever asked to resign if it were to come out that any of that any of the things you described in in in or just anything that would be considered an aberration from that vanilla whatever you would see anything beyond that would get you in deep trouble socially and politically and yet all those people who have that power they’re the ones going to the Doms and even some of the most twisted like yeah if people had any idea who exactly people would be surprised who was calling there was a chief of police that used to call me and I thought if your chief of police would you not buy a Visa gift card and just tell me your name is John Smith rather than give me your real name and your real credit card. That was the first thought in my head and he actually send me a picture of himself for his uniform and I thought are you insane do you realize the amount of embarrassment if I went rogue that I could cause you your whole Precinct to be laughing your ass off that one is one of the top ones that sticks in my mind thinking why would you be broadcasting and all I never would have known that you were you sending me pictures of yourself and you before that one really I thought was amazing it was another guy that was a district attorney in a major city and he was telling me this and I thought wow I could really cause you embarrassment if I wasn’t a trustworthy honest person and yet they’re telling you they’re real David at all this information I got all my God this is just wild it really was and there was even this very low-level celebrity oh my God I never heard of this guy but I looked up his name and I quickly found its website and mainly does direct-to-video stuff that most people wouldn’t know who it is anyway and what he wanted to talk about was so horrific that I wouldn’t do it and I don’t have a lot of limits are a lot of taboos but I have some and he was Way Beyond my limits and I thought wow buddy if your fans ever had any idea what you were into you know that they’d be with torches on your lawn I was so horrified at what this guy wanted to talk about and I thought in this is a celebrity and even though I had never heard of him somebody that had co-starred in a movie with him I certainly did know who it was cuz I watch her on a spa for all the time and I thought wow I’m sure she has no idea what her co-star is into and it just these these people to have any kind of level of being well-known and either their field of work or their Community you would think that protecting their anonymity would be of utmost importance but they really don’t seem to care so it says It’s amazing so I don’t follow Sports in anyway and he told me that he was he was wanting racial humiliation he was a black guy and I get a fair number of racial humiliation calls as well that’s one way specials it’s and he had found my website and saw that I offered this in and so he was telling me all about this so you know it was a small table wasn’t anything spectacular but I just thought wow you know if somebody follows Sports they would probably heard of this guy and here he’s calling and paying me good money to call him one racial slur after another it just says listen to me I can actually it really is so they aren’t worried about their identities or anything well yeah they make this public service announcement this is now the 21st century and there’s something called cryptocurrency and there’s ways to use VMware Anonymous step handrails and also to encrypt messages and I’m at the point now where I’m kind of going off of the Rails a bit branching out from the the platforms that take a huge cut of your earnings to provide that sort of thing at least that degree of separation with your identity and you’re just letting me within the last I’d say year 2 years has the encryption encrypted messaging app ecosystem really matured and made them user-friendly now is user-friendly enough and intuitive enough for people used on a mass scale and the Snowden Revelations have helped to accelerate the mass adoption and the development development impetus for peer-to-peer in Crypt open source technology platforms that are accessible by apps on a smartphone and then also now there’s so many different ways to do cryptocurrencies and now a stablecoin cryptocurrencies where you don’t expose people to the volatility of price fluctuation that’s a mouthful but I’m wondering if you have are you it’s apps to Tabitha like you say there’s a lot of risk and even if you did your best to not reach or allowed to be reached any of that data that you have some level of responsibility over as you conduct your business to know it’s an interesting opportunity now to to Really Leverage The Power of encrypted promises encrypting free speech of of words and of money that smell possible for people still just curious if you looked into any of that I know it’s kind of where I’m blinded I don’t even own the self to keep private insecure Issa does not use anything with high-tech and then you’ll be fine by myself I have my laptop and my corded landline so sore throat is this a cell phone because I don’t leave home that often so if I’m at the dentist or the hardware store for an hour or two I think I can afford to be out of touch with anybody for that short of a Time if it’s that important it can wait till I get back home and I’ll be able to talk to him then but I would never be doing calls out and about and I know some girls do I’ve read posts of girls doing in the aisles at Walmart and the grocery store it and I think how could you do that but hey if that’s how they want to run things that’s their business but I would not do that I wish I would not want to be doing that I was outside of my home and possibly have somebody over here me and you never know how long a collar is going to beat you. Weather is going to be 3 minutes or 3 hours you have no idea so it’s just not practical to me I would not do that so if somebody calls me I am on a corded landline in my house that’s the only place I’m ever going to be when they call but yeah all that Tech stuff is so it’s sort of a Escapes Me well if you ever have clients that want to you know I want to have you if you feel like a doll just put it out there to you I can be your your text liaison in a department is trying to be at least at least on the curb if not ahead of the curve but but certainly not is as up to speed as I can because yeah there’s a kind of feel like there’s a lot of a lot of people who are younger who mistakes with thumb how there really not having a good sense of host of keeping their identity and they’re just people are very frivolous about how much personal information they share in on internet was called it back POF plenty of wisdom and actually on that note not to go too far into the dark side but have you had any I’m sure you had some but you know what what what advice would you give note having the level experience you have about about real creepers or did you know that my make you feel let me before you have a chance with this type of mop cut them up or hang up on them if they were to get threatening or to just get weirder abusive or anything like you have any I don’t want to get all Sensational with horror stories but maybe more practical in a sense of Life what do you have a saltwater bath ready to jump into if you feel creeped out or do you have some sort of self-care and what’s the deal with the shift whether it’s creepy or not what’s a very lucky that I don’t really attract clients like that different girls attract different types of collars very much so it’s like Baskin-Robbins there’s a different flavor for everybody and I have never even come close to having any color that was stalkerish or interested in you don’t meeting or anyting I’m a very honest open direct person probably much more so would be good for I am so direct with clients if they ask me something and I’ll tell them the truth usually and other girls are more like they are there Persona they are never going to break that fourth wall to them and is a role they will never admit you know this isn’t them or whatever it says I’m just not like that and a lot of guys like that sense of reality others as sort of a bubble and they will never call you again because you’re too much reality they’re not looking for that they’re looking for Fantasy so I have never ever ever had anything remotely like that and yet I know some girls have had real problems with that very serious ones I mean the horse everyone’s and I think well maybe it’s because they’re playing this role and they’re insisting that they really are this character and it’s just all too real to the guy and I’m like oh you know that’s that’s not how it is consider more of a flooded reality so I don’t have that problem with my clients at all I’m glad to hear that that’s that’s music to my ears what would you say knowing the girls who have had that experience of living able to shake them off or what are some Clyde I honestly don’t know because they’re just running their business totally different than I am so unless they decided to move to my business model they’re going to keep having this problem I mean some of these girls will say oh I’ve got this whole back story that my character lives in such and such a place and she’s such and such an age and you know she went to this school and and she did this and that and I’m like really you go to all this trouble I might I’m just me if a guy calls I’m just me I’m not putting on any stories I say I live in Ontario Canada which is true I don’t tell them the town that I live in cuz they don’t really need to know that but I’m not making up some story about what I did or what I didn’t that that’s just not me it’s just not and yet there’s a lot of girls that they write this whole back story this like a totally separate character and if that’s how they want to do it that’s fine and I know a lot of them do that’s what they feel comfortable with they don’t want to give any real information that’s fine and I don’t give much to the ones that I do but I’m just me no matter what guy calls them if a guy says I won’t Lobby been in a gangbang recently haven’t you wanted to be not going to get what he wants because I’m too based in reality like I said some guys like that some guys don’t you want to talk about any anything you want to close with would be great or just call it a good a good first episode look forward to connecting my phone sex site is erotic Talk phone sex. Com and my erotic audio site if you want to order a custom audio is erotic audio recordings. Com some people can easily be able to contact me there if they’re interested in setting up a call well if the button says available love usually available if it says that I usually remember to set that right you can just call the number if you wanted to do a call and if you wanted to order an audio guys will email me usually with their script to get an estimate which I can do from the word count I can give them a very close estimate as to how long it will be in the price and then we go from there all right I love that will custom audio clips Galore sounds like you you’re really got this workout and it sounds like you graduated from the dependence and Reliance on 3rd party platforms and you’ve got it all sorted in house is that right on your website or how does that are you part of a network or is it all kind of have my own sci-fi I am available on many many sites that I do calls on but I only I only promote my own site because it is of or benefit to me easily if a guy comes to my own site so even though the price a guy May pay would be the same say $2 a minute which is pretty standard if he calls me through some site I might only be getting a third of that if he calls my sight I’m getting ate almost every penny of that so where do you think I’m going to direct people of course I’m I don’t even tell them what Play Time on or what names I go by or anything I only ever tell them Sheeran on a rush and that is the only place that you will find Sharon Sharon all right all right are you ready to go find her on the on that website and appreciate you again it’s been a time to be on the shoulder and a lot and look forward to next time I see you again so much and thank you so much for having me www.sprint.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition assassini and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple viper bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email ben.com namaste