Tag Archives: non-monogamy

How to Find Your Dream Lover and Be Ridiculously Happy with Wendy Newman TPP223

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In this episode I’m joined by Wendy Newman, a highly accomplished sex and relationship expert for an epic exploration of her wisdom for modern dating and intimate relating. She is a rare treasure having spent many years researching and practicing her craft. We learn about her personal journey and compare notes on how to how to evolve past old defaults of the patriarchal paradigm.

Please visit her website at: https://wendyspeaks.com/

And join her Inner Circle at:  https://www.patreon.com/wendynewman

About Wendy:

Wendy Newman is a media-celebrated author, and a dating, sex and relationship expert who’s led hundreds of workshops and revolutionized the lives of over 60,000+ women internationally. She guides women to understand men, dating, sex, and partnership of all kinds.

Since 2002, Wendy has interviewed thousands of men on relationships, love, dating, intimacy, sex, and the opposite sex. She’s conducted polls, had one-on-one discussions, and hosted over hundred male speaker panels for these topics.

Wendy is a compassionate fellow dater who navigated her way through 120 first dates before meeting her husband, Dave, lucky #121. They live in San Francisco.

Her book, 121 First Dates: How to Succeed at Online Dating, Fall in Love and Live Happily Ever After (Really!) is part juicy tell-all, part anti-rules dating guide. It’s been optioned for a television series.

You can find Wendy’s articles, features, interviews and expert advice through the following media outlets: Access Hollywood, The Wall Street Journal, U.S. News, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, The Daily Telegraph (Australia), Meetic (France), Glamour, Redbook, Self, Huffington Post, Men’s Health, Men’s Journal, Elle (Canada), Honey (Australia), Salon, Your Tango, Refinery 29, Ask Men, Thought Catalog, Brit + Co, She Knows, Bustle and more.

Hacking Group Romance as a Porn Director not a Cult Leader TPP200

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In this episode I’m joined by a mystery guest for a wild comedic adventure into the repressed caverns of my erotic mind. She holds enthusiastic and giggly sacred space for me to get on a roll lamenting about the current state of monogapathic culture. She helps me get through a lot of catharsis in exploring my life history of drama and madness surrounding opening up to more inclusive group sexual and romantic encounters. With her gracious support, I’m able to take liberties in the manner in which I share some of my most passionate and taboo-breaking fantasies. With care and consideration for ethics and holism, I attempt to induce a few laughs as I graphically depict my experimental designs for hacking group romance.

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin pillow their beloveds welcome to Township Punk podcast episode number 200 I just got back from an East Coast tour with the punk rock metal band and I’m thrilled to say we had a great time and did very well and I made it back in one piece and this is an exciting episode 200 Extravaganza where are some of my backlog recording this and this was one of the one of my favorite ones that I had to choose from for the episode 200 and I think you will really Joy it is definitely something different it is it is a my first summer unintentional extended comedy monologue with a a wingwoman of sorts and she’s holding space for me to bring forth into a level of of hilarity that I don’t normally I don’t know don’t normally summon and don’t really feel as is often appropriate but once you get on a roll when you start to really stimulate somebody’s Funny Bone verbally then it’s it’s hard not to to just run with his so it may be offencive it may be a little over-the-top and in that what we’ve come to appreciate about that classic stand up comedian form is that you’re able to get away with exposing truths in a very heated very sometimes aggravated state of mind and people cathartically get off on someone else saying what speaking out there are deeper taboo thoughts so if this is the first episode you’ve heard of mine it is definitely uncharacteristic of most of the rest way I tend to joke here and there but really really typically try to be pretty reserved and really focus on a I’m more of a dialogue with a guess this in this case it’s it’s almost completely One Direction all but her being there is absolutely essential in order to get that Dynamic flowing and it certainly in the sense of Comedy it really helps I don’t know how people can just write write comedy in their own inner sanctuary and not have that that reverberation in that that feedback and and dynamic but anyway this is a lot of fun and what we’re talking about what I’m talking about. Manly and she’s helping hold the space for me to really mansplain in an unethical way really is talking about the the bloopers and Antics and Folly and what I’ve learned from attempts to hack this notion of group romance and really learn from a lot of mistakes and really create sort of personal interpersonal living breathing think-tank research experiment out of how to best overcome the limitations that we have in most modern patriarchal monotheistic minago Pathak cultures where our options are very limited and our experience and Expo are two other modes of loving and healing and relating romantically they’re completely systematically cauterized by these Disneyland archetypes of monogamy and whatnot so I get into the higher level kind of macro cultural analysis and critiques and then we get into a lot of really fun really absurd ridiculous and playful visual kind of comedic audioporn take to get through some of the designer ideas of how to how to be hacking group romance and I’m really this is it from my perspective a a male centered male-oriented you could call it phallocentric you could say I’m being a chauvinist here but really I think it’s about making sexual gratification in the feeling of love and connection amongst people be as egalitarian as possible and really work with what you have within your your orientation your identity your group of friends and just explore those boundaries and really gamify group romance and hopefully this really stands is a introductory Treatise on why it’s important to explore these things and what the the payoffs are so hope you enjoy it this is definitely for me one of my top favorite episodes of all time because of where we where we get to in the end of Vibes of it you know I hope that it leaves you rolling on the floor and also curious and also emboldened to take more adventurous steps in the future of your love life all right thank you very much if you’ve been with me along waist episode 200 thank you for for being with me and enjoy this historic episode thank U Namaste and they would not be comfortable with you hacking the storylines of of compulsory monogamy and telling stories very festive stories about what it’s like to like not be in patriarchy and like it she does she know yeah that’s what good for sale teacher reflect a picture or no one’s happy everybody’s miserable and just whining about it new relationships breaking out and being her and then just repeating the cyclist over and over is very defeatist like cry about level of times but at least you’re feeling something at least you’re not a total sociopath narcissist like don’t even care spending to steal it self-inflicted stuff too cuz you just like wanting holding on to like the painful stuff I guess we’re like people that aren’t making like the best for you but it’s sad and it’s like Basin and being married and being screwed if you lose that Financial Lifeline life support so there we have listed this is the in permaculture design Geoff Lawton and it likes to use this teaching to a witches that when it comes to like agriculture what you’re talking about gardening earlier today but it’s like this so if you only plant one crop in a field that’s a lot like fishing with a single line where they know that if that crop fails or that line breaks your your your Sol and so the smart Fisher person would say I let me fish with a net so that if one or even several of those lines break with internet I still have a functioning device here so that’s what you could systems do and that’s why polyculture in gardening and Horticulture polyculture means multiple different phrase things as opposed to monoculture so you can make this analogy very happy to monogamy and monoculture and still what’s resilient in an ecosystem diversity right the more diverse ecosystem the more resilient it is the more flexible adapter is in more abundant and flourishing it is so monoculture monogamy monotony it’s and then that’s why people are living in this wounded heart broken real disaster of a reality and it’s just profit people that make the Laurie handlers cuz it seems like I’m she said in her podcast if this was a easy the country cafe or sex and happiness she said to podcast over the years she makes an excellent point that she’s over his doesn’t not interested in the heartache that sells and wants to crack break your heart open to love everyone pretty much and to have new experiences and to be open to new experiences and so have a very regenerative heart and I would like the concept of being a heart Gardner so like I’m trying to I have not just one heart that I love her that I tend I have a garden that I attend of many hearts and some of them need more attention at times some of them you know every more self-sufficient some of them could tell me to get lasted for cough and don’t even want want me like even looking at them and everything in between so then you know being a heart Gardner and trying to keep them all alive and and not neglect them and be responsible for like letting them Blossom letting them rot on the vine either you know anyway so there’s so much to learn and so much to sing about so sincere singer I’m a singer we’re going to think about this stuff. We also actually I need to have experience to know where the fuck were talking about so that’s where we begin with what where does the authentic Journey actually begin and that’s where we and I just watched Breakfast Club where they were it’s like this painstaking process of socially engineering the truth out of what how and what circumstances virginity was happening or not happening so we all have virginity is two different things even if we popped her cherry City this week so so we’re at the precipice of The Virginity of your experimental lesbianism is it a few dedicated to your not identified as a woman now what do you mean what I mean is that my I’m very interested in the notion of you having sex with a woman if you if you want to sit at one point I was very blunt and I asked you and I risked I risked being considered a British attend to try to do that so it’s basically asking if I’m if you’ve ever had if you would have ever had sex with a woman and if not would you like to and you said you would like to but you like to what you say roll around with me first right I think that’s yeah so that could be arranged so basically you know that’s compromised that’s that’s how you have probably that’s the beginning of it is like what do you need what a minor needs how can we meet in the middle somewhere and so well this is what is so interesting to me and what I am going to share is like my design concept that I put a lot of effort into trying to figure out which is this is that okay if we really break the stuff down what we don’t have what we have a lot of experience of as children is being gently yet with with I would say lowercase authoritarianism weird we are compelled by adults to share toys and we learn against whatever maybe that jealous or envious nature or selfish nature we learn to to actually eventually Delight in the gift of sharing something with others so that we actually realize that there’s this abundance of my face you know it’s not like hopefully it’s not like you don’t eat the toy in the toy is something that doesn’t get destroyed after one use of the toy I’m so that you can hand it on and and let other people experience so what somewhere along the path of puberty we get program to lose that fundamental sociability and Collective position of like the toys that we would be sharing on the playground and once we develop and grow and have her own public Parts in appropriate age appropriate settings to explore Inn Express in which we all know is lacking in this culture and that’s why we have abusive all kinds cuz we don’t have rice passage and we don’t know when we are to do wet when howl with himself in a healthy way or holistic way I should say so we’re we are fumbling in the dark trying to figure this stuff out and somewhere we get cursed with these imprints of monogamy that is compulsory compulsive Naga me bound up in Notions of being a prince and a princess and all of these socioeconomic status oriented ways of like something being mine a person me owning that person this status symbol so there’s I’m not saying anything for you know this groundbreaking to indict these memes and this culture architecture and you know they have spoken to like many people feminists just look at feminist anthropology in the critique of domestication in the in the critique of civilization and patrilineal descent and the the the the way that wealth and land and power is handed down from a meal bloodline Emil name Inlet that’s why you control you would need to control the female sexuality and reproductive freedom in order to guarantee that your son gets your land in and not someone else’s so that’s that’s the patriarchy connection and we want to what super tall that perverted and silver and actually compost the patriarchy is she so I don’t think there’s a there’s no there’s nothing more subversive then then then opening up relationships because once you start buying less because old do do we need to each have our own garage filled with tools from big box stores or can we all share one fucking tool set amongst us all lovers sharing each other’s bodies it’s not rocket science and it’s not rocket science way they have made it so difficult to be relating sexually openly with computers with a peer group and neighborhood of adults because they want us all to be in our little boxes buying one of every that have everything and not sharing anything and therefore it cuts into their bottom line so we are doing our best to compost the patriarchy to be subversive and actually have a lot of fun doing it it’s not a dip revation and sacrifice to have more fun sexually with more people it is a little bit more requisite of time for emotional care and tenderness for sure it’s complicated and it is and is medically important to be but if it’s as if you can play any video game that you play any board game you can gamify Sexual Health in a group you can end in the end not to do bring it to the light and be like okay well we match here like literally HSV expressing in one part of the body can match to that and another person other parts of body and you can pretty much pretty much know you’re safe at that point there’s there’s ways to gamify these things so that you know curses can be blessings in yet make it very used that’s who we need to design the user-friendly interface for people to connect and 4 shame and not even just the end of course the STI status stuff but also people who just have body issues about so we can be mixing and matching his stuff and yeah. There’s an app for it kind of a thing you know in this world so so we’re getting there and you know you pull the card and you know people who so it will and that’s why that’s the reason to do yoga so that you can hold these sexual positions forever because he like baby words said when a man basically two pair of fruit to fear fear for his baby Ward and I’m mixing a couple of I’m adding a couple together of her if you’re beautiful phrases but basically if I were Davey word I would probably say something like if I if I was balls do you know when your balls deep in me I want it to last forever I want your penis in my vagina forever and I can’t Rainman how to make that possible and actually there was a good scene in Jerry Maguire where she asked for him to she’s don’t ever stop fucking me in a kind of like kills the mood when he says I think I’ll have to stop at some point and then they fucking break up with a douche no sorry to tell you I love you tons hear me okay forget about it Interview with the Vampire okay stop me somebody for the cold water on me right now all right yeah it was Saved by the Bell you is just batteries going to last all night long you’re you’re you’re getting okay so it’s yours work as graphic this is where he’s going to get more perverted this is building it up so building and Outdoors like what is it why does this matter that’s why why am I trying to have so much fun packing monogamy and the shame and the pain and the jealousy and the limitation it’s just it’s false it’s completely insane and in deranged and and I will not tolerate it for one more second my life and in that spirit I say I’ve done the boyfriend-girlfriend thing I’ve done in monogamy thing I’ve done a jealousy thing and then a hard brake thing so if somebody enters my life and is attracted to me I go out how this is interesting erotic energy flowing in my direction how can I not manipulated not abused if not not not heard it or harm it but actually let it flow through my little garden design of more pleasure and then also this is the thing where I feel like I’ve made an important hack an important this is because this is been going back to how we learn to share so this is as an adult with adult content adult appropriate settings of course but really bring it down and that’s why I am a huge fan of psychedelic sexuality because it inhibits the neurotic aspects of the ego and if you’re going to trust in space and you have referees and you have good guidance and going on in people are observing and being Sheriff’s that to the boundaries when the people are you know any in there Altered States but would you with the beauty of it is that you get to explore again and you get to explore bodies and he could do store your own body and it’s not a story about who’s owns this and who’s rights to this and fuck where’s all the paperwork and did I swear to it tonight so that’s and it doesn’t have to be an orgy of people fucking very sloppily very carelessly when you get into the tantric practices of massage wherever it’s about it’s really the best things really happen with the most intentional experts killed manual and leading up to of course different forms of penetration with genitals but it’s underrated how much how much pleasure and how deep deep healing we can be with their hands with each other in and really there’s no excuse not to be doing that cuz you’re not going to make babies and they just called outercourse or mutual masturbation went on so that’s where rather than rushing from first base to second base and all of that hyper rush to the Finish Line stuff fit culture this culture is trained to do you actually can start out saying okay it could literally be a fun and fulfilling and safe Friday night for a group of friends 2 take each other to take their clothes off and use their hands to induce different types of orgasms in each other consensually and into explorer that and so that’s where I say the games of politics becomes like whose are you fucking that is long as you if you if you keep that off the table a little just long enough and this is what so at what I have there is like a Zone that is safer emotionally and medically to play in in groups to actually start to rewire and meltdown those belief systems so that you have a clean slate in in your capable of exploring slowly and building on the new Pannu template that you design and we’re very plastic a blank brain can be reformatted we can 3 format is hard drive as many times we want there’s no limit to it and we were it’s absurd to think they were stuck in a 2000 year old paradigm I’d rather be in a 200,000 Euro Paradigm cuz that’s where the real phone was happening anyway but we’re going to get to the Primal Anarchy of lovemaking groups in just a minute now so break here’s how we break from breakthroughs goes invisible prison cells in our minds about monogamy and so I figured it out like how I would like to conduct a ceremony words like okay this is my penis here and there’s people that want to play with it and put it in different parts of their bodies and hopefully have a good time with it and if it really like Gibson gets them there and brings them there and then delivers the goods then they will become deeply deeply addicted to that experience and Anna on a level that is that is beyond any extreme passion of any terrorist has any ideology the amount of passion that and I would say a woman from in my experience the level of chemical spiritual just that’s what we should be living for men who love who love women is like for them to be taken so far out and so far in that they will want to kill other people who take threatened to take that experience away from them I every other women that you’ve ever known that you might never know so that’s where we have this conundrum which is like it is so good like I want you to be obsessed with me but I do not want you to be obsessed with me you know cuz that’s right cuz I’m going to kill myself if you’re not obsessed with me but I’m going to run away from you and run into the street if you’re obsessive me so either way I die do you know yeah and I had to run in the street to avoid women who are obsessed with me and it’s no joke cuz otherwise I would have thought they didn’t love me if they weren’t a homicidal maniac it’s right so there’s a way to disperse that energy and it’s like oh wait a minute he’s fucking me but I’m making out with a woman and looking into her eyes and who do I lose what it oh my God is I don’t know who is fucking me right now but it feels great and I agreed to it like I signed off that anyone can fuck me tonight with this and that and this so like I don’t know who to write the check to you know what I mean like anymore it’s just too much just don’t stop so I’ve been there and I’m never going back to the the the hell rounds it is about diffusing that pleasurable experience across so many different Souls that it’s impossible to Tribute it to one person and really I believe that this is not an astoundingly long wide penis that I have that I think is perfectly shaped to do what it was designed to do and I’m happy with it whatever yeah I’ve gotten good reviews so far in life women who wanted to kill other women because they were so possessive of this thing that it’s just like always wants to do is just be warm and wet and love them that is so I have a beloved partner and you know I would kiss your boobs goodbye and tell him to be good every day knowing if she was like why I never did anything bad to anybody ever and I realized that was the pure essence of innocence is Brett’s cuz like you can never say that they ever do anything bad to never manipulated anybody they never play games with anybody they just give and give and give you know so anyway that’s another story if we could only all aspire to be as innocent as a breast but never do anything to hurt anybody ever never had to be told to be nice just what is nice you know x-ray sexual Zen state that people would have to meditate for years if they didn’t eat mushrooms to figure that out like become a breast and live in the consciousness of breast in this and just experienced pleasure and give pleasure and don’t fucking overthink it you know it as long as everybody is of legal age and sound mind and knows what they’re signing up for essentially we can work out the details but I’ve been in those moments where it’s like yes what’s making this woman lose her mind and ecstasy is 80% the emotional connection with other women that she is sharing and then I am there to be basically a prop to the beautiful. Theater of feminine understanding and that is when I understood For the First Time The futility of women trying to squeeze blood from a stone to make bullheaded dumb men who would rather be playing video games or breaking shit or glowing sit up or doing something fucking mindless and heartless for fun and just acting them and making them be a woman when they’re not a woman because they can’t explore sexual intimacy with other women because they’re afraid of the taboo of lesbianism and because it would be against the rules and whatnot so when melted down and was in a sensor Moniz were psychedelic ceremonies wear them all of these stories were melted away and it was just women in fucking ecstasy the agony and ecstasy and using my cock is a prop but also as an energetic current in a source of love and that my refinement was allow me to be in that space and I realize that it’s like it is so cumbersome to be responsible for a woman’s orgasm in a love making session why would I want all of that burden on myself it’s like I have to at my age I have to think about not coming too fast beat not losing my erection and in trying to make a sincere emotional sincere present connection with the person who I am kissing is with that is enough for me to have to do it now I’m responsible for her squirting and I like coming in the same say when I saw the leveraging of all these other women and how freely flowing the orgasms come when the openness in the connectedness is there with other women so so like I said I’m not taking a step back and now if anybody wants to come at me they’re going to have to go through that that ate a form of of grade school of learning in or black ass like that you’re going to come at me do you want to fuck me you need a black belt in loving me to get in and if you go into any Karate Dojo they’re not even said hey I want to do what you do can you hand me your black belt right now please here I’ll give you a beer can I buy you a beer and then you give me a black belt no stupid you’re so stupid Bibb so what was the quote from the movie UHF which is very a so you definitely watch UHF to understand where my sense of humor comes from but yes I’ll good good so so we’re solving this problem and creating these designer experiences and so what I realized is that the impulse for a woman to have this one-dimensional relationship with a man’s cock so that she wants to possess it so as you’re a very own the way for me to logically very very simple-minded lycee what is the how do you prevent that is to say well you will learn to get to know my cock at exactly the same time as another person and you will only have a 50/50 relationship with whatever you do you say like you would with your best friend and I had her saying in people may not like to hear me say is cuz it sounds good feed it to your best friend first feed it to your best friend first and I didn’t even think about the secondary effect of that which for me that was just that was just like I’m going to know that you’re not going to lose your mind with jealousy when you can just say here actually you can I’ll let you go first so that would be the the the tantric taboo test of transgression against yourself like that Siri you’re going to lose your mind will feel into that and start simple we’re going to dance together and you’re going to watch just that and is that make your blood boil what happens after your blood simmers down do you start to like so now it’s like whatever that point is where that demon comes out of jealousy you were going to rub the shit out of your clit until it goes and tell you what you’ve you become a demon Whisperer with your clit and me and everybody just wants to create more and add more locks to the fire and you transmute that negative emotion into a positive motion and then in the probably will be called conversion the opposite we don’t have a word for it we do not have a word except for that one which no one knows it set designer neologism but we don’t have the band singing about how good it feels to watch their wife get fucked by Adam Ant And so yeah here we come back full circle so we will be so we’re going to we’re going to have these experiences we’re going to sing about it and and so this is the this is the what the the the climax of this conversation will be in my opinion is is when I talked about how the it’s not just a theoretical Gaiden guiding principle to say oh yeah we’ll will like yeah okay you flip a coin and I have sex first with the person who wins that round and then I stopped having sex with you and hopefully it didn’t lose my wind in 5 minutes cuz I was so fucking turn on by the sexy after they all I got another $5 and it’s over for me for like they’re already like forgot every system anyway cuz they’re tearing each other inside out and everything and I’m just watching and trying to like make it come to live again and finally it will eventually but you should know I’m getting That’s The Hampsterdance the Tantra hence the sexual Jedi Knight training so that you can breathe breathe through and in have the orgasms without losing the love don’t be a 5 lb jump so hit the two feminists so I think I’m going to say okay if she’s dying to give me a blowjob then like we time it for like okay like we’re going to play your favorite song and it’s going to be about the same equal thanks to to her favorite song and you going to eat each other’s favorite songs and I’m like hold each other’s heads and massage each other and just be like holding each other from behind and Miss Priss massaging each other that they take turns but there’s still a potential in that for for jealousy to arise in forever and for it to be I mean I just thought of a way to actually literally short-circuit everything in a really beautiful elegant circuit and so here is the design and I will try to verbally explain unless they can so I love the idea of two women’s hands clasping together around my cock and massaging it gently up and down as they face each other and our eye gazing intermittently so the visual so far is is that the dear beloved goddesses or I are facing each other so actually agency kneeling I’m I am laying on my back and they both are kneeling with their literally as clothes into my armpit is possible so that I can reach Below in between their legs and butt so I can have a hand on each clit and vulva fingers is a good middle finger on the clit and to end so if I’m cuffing the vulva and able to use my longest middle finger to be stroking the each clit simultaneously in patterns you know singer sew and I’m basically playing streams is like playing guitar and make a solo I’m playing shift I have this is because the end of vocalizations or what I’m tuning for it you know so so it isn’t this beautiful instrument of a playing these two young hearts that are kissing each other and like I gazy and exactly is so I’m making sure that they’re not feeling left out in that apartment while I’m being stimulated and everybody is being stimulated sexually and everyone is feeling a part of a closed circuit that is meeting everyone’s needs and in and there’s no favoritism there’s no hierarchy the really so thin and if anything I am as the man in my back and that is what time trick Kali worshipping actual full fully pornographic and I hesitate to use that word was fully glorious erotic depictions of the circuitry of how this stuff works so if it’s if you’re not approve any 3 I mean if you’re not so sexually stunted then you would just understand that these icons are just road maps to the spiritual terrain of understanding the energetics of Shiva Shakti god goddess energy so we’re designing with that and we’re creating a maximum hydraulic energy flows in in in a way that is very egalitarian actually inhibits the growth of the ego and that sense of so-and-so I’ve experienced this in not that exact formation but that’s why I aspire to be a porn director so that I can I can work with people who are very comfortable taking Direction and are not going to lose their minds and so I actually had this conversation today they’re what makes me not a cult leader and what prevents me from ever becoming a cult leader is this one fundamental thing right but I have to study cold it is to know how not to be a quote later cuz otherwise I would just be cranking out so much Kool-Aid day Kool-Aid would have to invent a time to punch flavor you know I got to be sponsored by Kool-Aid the Kool-Aid man oh yeah it would have it I make my own Kool-Aid Man Township anyway after dark okay I wanted how they’ve not sued like I have all of the libelous memes and they feel bad for the Kool-Aid guy I didn’t fucking poisonous people man I don’t mean to be making fun of them and I really got to get serious about not making a joke out of the people who died in the massacre Crazy Eights it’s it’s it’s public domain now to make a joke to either the expression people say don’t drink the Kool-Aid it’s because people at Jonestown were by a charismatic cult leader who was it was an extremely right with it skips a generation maybe but that’s how memes get formed yes so I mean that’s how they sort of deprecated the roots and you say things that we don’t know how does the reason we’re numb it so they don’t drink the Kool-Aid means don’t consent to a groupthink. Virus that makes mass suicide be acceptable and so they poisoned the Kool-Aid punch and that’s how everyone can scented make give it to their kids and everyone is like this is fine and some people try to protest and they were silenced and some people try to run away and it was a nightmare and it was absolutely what I would I must not allow myself to become as a priest that uses sexual mind manipulation and coercive tactics to trade love and affection attention and orgasm for 4 unquestioning devotion into the point of suicide so that that’s the extreme case that that we that is a litmus test for if you were going down that slippery slope but I actually tend to want to study the mental illness of sociopath sociopathy narcissism and I would like to consider myself a benign I’m the benign narcissist I know that that is a character flaw that I am not how we going to like defeat by doing the past limitations as many times that night and I’m going to roll with it and I’m going to say yeah I will be like Howard Stern and I will be I’m going to if I’m going to be this personality I’m going to make a bonsai tree out of my own ego if I can and have other people help in the process but but things going going back to the to the cult thing and what me what gives me the authority to design this orgasmic Orchestra what why and how do you not just become a colder than soy everyone you meet is basically in that on that game board now how am I going to manipulate you to be in this in this position that I would like you to be in to fulfill my fantasy of engineering all this town truck stuff and and if I’m if I’m this is well that’s spit out the Kool-Aid don’t swallow I think what we’ll get to that for sure that’s going to be a we’re going to get to that but can’t forget that we’ll save that for the for the most triumphant moment the climax is when we’re going to use that it’s so precious now after it’s been built up so ever since a joke that’s going about 2 it’s going to explain come on your face it’s going to come on yesterday and you’re going to beg for it and so hits is it is I’ve had people beg me to come in the third eye and it was hard to resist but this is going to be almost as good as that sharing you this one liner inside joke and just a minute but to wrap up this sort of dark out thing that we were doing with the coal thing is that it how do you know how do I hedge against being the creepiest man every like people think that Barney the purple dinosaur because he and forgive me if I’m butchering the facts here but as far as I know he’s doing what I considered to be taboos for me which is charging women money to have sexual penetrative intercourse with them above all without protection and making that into a to me that’s not a scalable business model and you can ask your doctor wife but Barney I mean I get it and I get that that’s the love thing being cultivated generated so I think I don’t know whether I consider that good pressure bad press for modern Neo Tantra or what not but I’d love to have them on the podcast I’m sure it’s going to happen and I can’t say that I was a fan of the art form of Barney the purple dinosaur but but but I would love to get to the full story and also talked about the ethics and this medical the medical duty of care that comes with sexual and pinch of intercourse with anybody so anyway that’s the sad but who were talking about okay what if you were intrigued and maybe turned on by me talking about these erotic circuit boards then you also have to be somewhat red-flagged and starting to cringe and go where how old is this get arranged in what are the incentives and how do you how do you manage the Eagles and how do you who’s in charge it’s like you can’t it’s a scary thing but you wouldn’t work but that’s why when I went when I say what I realized for me the aha moment in my sexual career was that if I want to have out-of-the-box sex I have to pay lots of money for it from professionals who have trained her nervous system to do theater performance of sexuality as escorts or as Dom’s or as porn performers because they’re good sports they’re not spoil Sports about any of the stuff for the most part if they’re treated well and respected and then contracts are here too and they know what they’re getting into and hopefully they’ve matured and hopefully their brain has developed to its full capacity IE the age that it takes to actually I don’t say that to you exactly so you better know there’s a dimension of Ethics when it comes to harvesting teenagers for your for whatever Annette and I have had some of the best sex in my life as a 30 year old being fucked up fucked senseless by teenager in a row in a monogamous relationship and I will I will tell you that it’s it some it was worth the daddy issues that I had to deal with it was worth reparenting her and it was worth every bit of emotional kind of awkwardness that there wasn’t some of the an Amex because she was such a good full spirited Prime late night it was funny cuz I was like I want to settle you down and basically like I could teach your making a kid with ADHD sit in class is like no she wants to fuck wildly she wants you to perform more than you possibly ever could even at 30 and and she and she is not she doesn’t need these esoteric practices too heavy multi-orgasmic she’s fucking coming or brains out like so hard and I and I couldn’t sit her down the aisle still enough to do any of the practices that I thought were going to be so enlightening and went in the great thing is is it a fuck it like it is certain point you just say no guru there’s a song about it’s like no guru no no scripture No play just in the Dow of the thing so anyway so that’s a side note to say there is a sacred place for adult for fully mature brain develop adults to be having sex with teenagers and and I know that it can be done because I’ve done it but it also takes you can’t just treat them like a commodity please you got to you got to think about pedagogy Nikki learned from the person that you’re teaching teaches you things to like a circle so then so we’re talking about these ethics and where I wanted to just close that point about how I do my best to not be a cult leader I thought I figured it out pretty simply and correct me if I’m wrong but basically it’s it’s I dare you to to indict me for the the criminal and civil liability of misconduct for for for structuring a certain way so this is how I this is this is very simple as this is like this I said that this is a different the difference from a cult leader is that I’m a porn director I pay women to be directed and then I pay whoever I want to I will I will I will choose performers who I resonate with for whatever we would like to do together to make beautiful art and and I will compensate them and pay them to take time out of their lives to be a part of my design and to be directed by me they’re not paying me for healing for enlightenment for direction for guidance and I’m directing them and Meghan gratifying myself and taking their money in convincing mind fucking them and taking more of their money and more than money until they don’t talk to their friends because of and that’s how Colts are basically extractive from their students the colors are extracting from their devotees the difference is how many colors do you know that actually give their devotees money I will pay you oh now I’m making corned a porn director and I am more karmically correct than the fucking Guru who is fucking having people kiss his feet and take your money so who would have thought that the corn directors were the most enlightening Yogi’s to ever attempt to be divine and I have my favorites and I’m a fan of some of them I want I want to see the names but right now but that cuz I wouldn’t want to leave any out you know what I mean bless you all for paying people to direct them into your Twisted fucking fantasies and giving them that dignity like hats of their not wondering about it cuz there’s that was having a conversation today it’s like a buyer’s remorse if I say to you I’m just saying if you remember when you had to if you were old enough to know that there was a day when when when your allowance equals one CD for $15 so humorous if you never had experience this is important I think this is important teaching is important teachable moment is that is that and I don’t want to be today. Take care no man’s planning anything in them to have fun here but this is like this is this is late so here’s the funny thing though you think about I remember what it was like when I had to convince myself that amusing that a CD that fucking sucked was actually good because I paid money for it and I would not let myself suffer the indignity of having made a mistake so I was in a state of denial and delusion so so so feeling this isn’t meditation okay everybody think of something that you paid money for that you discovered was in the zoo is suboptimal and you used mental gymnastics to convince yourself that you actually liked it even though you knew deeply that you didn’t like it but it was called buyer’s remorse it was called the sunk cost fallacy of sunk cost fallacy is that because you invested something into this you have to continue beyond the point of no return because you can’t live with yourself other ways so that is this Twisted perverse placebo effect that happens when it’s like I went to the sex guru to get healed and he said for 9999 I would get here and but I but I could also upsell to the bonus extra double healing deluxe super Cosmic Crystal trademark excetera right thing and try before you buy money back guarantee accessories that you’re all of his legal he’s in fine print all the stuff but there is but that’s where it is we’re expecting to have some result that you paid money for and you will question whether or not okay did I was a hole in my heel did I pay enough money to pay more and some money and it is it distorts things and you did it it did contaminated in a way for that so I’m skeptical that I can be done right in that sense and that’s just me so what I say let’s work in the garden together my time equals your time and now we’re planting trees equals an hour of Yoni massage your prostate massage and therefore it’s a flat equal everybody has the same it’s his first come first serve you know and orgasms for work shirts that was my hand jobs for Humanity and helping a tree with two or so you’ll see it yeah it’s a white paper was written so is he ever gets faster so so that’s how I’m not going to be a cult leader is that I’m not going to charge people money to be Pawns in my game of or are you going to be players in my Game of Thrones Township Township twister you will get paid handsomely to be in my theater my game of Township twister and you can quit you can get any time you know that’s that’s that’s the thing to you won’t be like oh if I walk away now you know that then where I’m not like what I paid for I’m I’m already invested so much forever so so many different dynamics of of incentivization happening in this thing is so anyway that that was I think it is important to lay that out and and this is probably the first time I’ve articulated it on the podcast but I just was having this conversation today with this answer the CD metaphor thing where it’s like you know it did that it’s it’s a problem that way so so that’s I will not be extracting money from people in that in that way I’d rather pay them to be in my in my Productions and feel better about it that way so getting back to the fun stuff in the production itself so imagining that that would be the way from now on where I’m like if you want to that’s basically what I just described about that circuit of three people as a minimum to starting point is like that is the that is first base now you know that’s first base because getting into the circuitry of actual intercourse that’s where it required that’s where we get into the medical the medical responsibilities aspects and we get into more of the karmic sharing we’re really swapping scum he’s on an astral level at that point more so than if it’s an outercourse thing and you can’t go back once you know I don’t want to sound like a prepaid only sound like a six- future but but they were right about this mean you’re not wrong about everything they’ve had no sex for anybody ever. Is not the solution to people having sexually transmitted demons running rampant all over the place and it’s about making them your friends and making them work for you not against you and making them expose themselves properly and in you know where it’s not a pure realm we are not going to be perfectly protected in fear we can strive for that and we can use Kundalini and Prana and mantras and all of our medicines in purgatives and things to create a cleaner vessel to make more harmonious more resonance more signal-to-noise ratio and that is what to me this is all about and why we are missing out so badly to not be like I see this if God is wanted you got it for not created to nipples I can’t suck both nipples at the same time I tried some women I can do it on I’ve done it and you can do it some women is possible but for the most part so what does that mean what are you do do you limit God or do you just find someone else to be on the left or right side of you you know what is the big deal so when I think about this math equation how many erotic how many out of the box meaning not really the selective like subjective nuanced little erogenous zones that people get overtime in our lives but the out-of-the-box everybody is wired this way count how many erogenous zones you have and how what is the minimum number of mouse penis and genitals or fingers are human appendages required to simultaneously stimulate all those places it’s more than one person I can tell you that much you know so I just want us to start there and be creative in 2N to learn how to understand that we’re missing out and we should be wanting to gamify maximizing human potential for orgasmic pleasure because that is exorcism orgasm equals exorcism in some cultures who are Les Les Mis Sara Lee poetic about the floury discourse of symbols about sex life like a Latin American Shaman is said about her sexuality in the end in her how she explained why monogamous marriage was not really a thing in a culture that permitted extramarital sex and it was that in her mind and I am not going to say her name to cool her but I will say to paraphrase the essence of this wisdom is that to her mind it was just like an orgasm is like taking out the trash and that is not that’s not to say that it is mundane or a chore it is that it is a responsibility of hygiene in your household of your body Temple you need to have orgasms they need to be fulfilling need to get the job done and that is the exorcism aspect of it so the howling screeching all of these things that are considered that witches were burned forming figli sounds that those are the sounds of actual Holiness the set of holy the sound of Holiness is a woman’s orgasm and so let’s make those come more abundantly and let’s utilize map map the erogenous zones out of the box and then map the additional ones that are my favorite song and when you talk to me like this and this certain place I’m in the back of my head there whatever and then everyone has their own map so we can learn each other’s maps and if you don’t know your own map then you can ask people to help you there’s people who would love to lick and kiss and touch you and head to toe to find and explore you and and from a breasted state of consciousness D nice and yes I like to will you bring out the best in me that’s all I think that’s all you guys add that I can’t top that is the way to end so then really that was we didn’t even know that we put the icing on the motherfuking cake by saying you bring out the Best in Me so there was a documentary about at the peak of my desire to become a a rock star in the the crust Punk metal genre grindcore all that fun stuff I was studying that I wanted to understand and clock the music industry so I was watching every documentary I could find understanding music marketing and all the stuff and then I found this great documentary about about Jimi Hendrix and and I believe it was his fiance at a time who later became his wife if I remember correctly and she was talking about the time where he was building momentum and getting lots of gigs but still underground and she said something that stuck with me forever and if this moment which is it basically the hidden tension was used turn Express yeah we we all knew he was going to get sign or we all knew that you was going to take off he was going to blow up and so she said it was just about if someone puts put the icing on the motherfuking cake you know and I know and I felt that we we’re ready for that and we did some we had some we had some ice and get put on a motherfuking cake we did you get you always want more but I look back and I don’t think we could handle more so we got what we got and now I’m on a different I have a different cake I have a different cake mix and I don’t know if it’s that time I don’t know if it’s time to put the icing on the cake or not yeah I don’t know I mean the cake it’s getting cold she heard it mean if you’d if anyone has icing out there can it please be stevia-sweetened go Steven Johnson I don’t know how to hack them will work on that today I know it’s actually what I heard is that it’s a weird additive that they used to cut it because it’s so super sweet that you would basically died of sweetness if you didn’t like the step on it with some other things so I think that’s why I love growing Stevia and having a leaf to munch on and put in the tea because then you know is nothing else being put into it and it’s just as powerful you don’t really need to if you had the the live leaves one leaf enough will be enough to knock your head off for an hour so yeah I know on that snow yeah we’re going to put this devious fresh leave puree motherfuking icing on the cake I will put the icing on my own motherfuking cake that reminds me in 1 minute I just when I thought we couldn’t go out with a bigger bang this is going to be at because there was a a ritual ceremonial I called we called apart emoni where was the Psychedelic birthday party and we smeared cake all over each other and had to basically devour for the birthday gal of her own cake and it was just nipples and asses and I wanted to be in after from there I was my breasts Elsa. Playing for sure that brother and brother best me for sure but that when I got to put the icing on cake my damn self so don’t let anyone fucking tell you that you’re not none of me if you feel like it I mean I think we’re done I just can’t I’m going to fucking drop my phone right now when I might drop my phone on the couch citizen of the count but oh shit it’s next level add icy Cipher geise that’s going to have some cake with that icing okay thank you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.drudgereport.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and if you want a podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been at Tantra Punk. Com Thomas Day

Independent Motherhood and Empowered Birth Work TPP179

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Laura Sermeno Pic

In this episode I’m humbled and blessed to be able to explore the raw realness of a wombyn of color struggling to navigate and resist patriarchy, white male privilege, and mono-normative love and relationship styles. My new heroine  sheds light on many of the shadows of injustice that she has faced and fought throughout her life and her journey as an independent mother.

She shares about the beauty and magnificence of her natural home birth and the incredible role her doula played in the process. She makes a call out for support of her efforts to study the birth working arts so that she can be of service and give back to the community.

She holds sacred space for me to open up about my ethnic impoverishment and we celebrate the enriched experience of culture that she has as a Mexican-American East Los Angelino.

Please support her Go Fund Me campaign here:
https://www.gofundme.com/mother039s-transition-career-to-community-birthwork

And check out these links:
http://www.madreluzla.com/
http://supermamas.com/
https://www.llli.org/

About Laura:
Laura was born in East LA, raised in Sur El Monte –UCLA matriculated, educated by her people only, from the classrooms to the streets. She studied Xicanx Studies and Spanish at UCLA, and within undergraduate studies she began to unfold her art of poetry and went on to perform original pieces.

Professionally trained as a legal assistant, Laura took a break from capitalism beginning of 2017 to both create and nurture a newborn, born July of 2017, and felt completely underwhelmed with returning to life in an office. Having had a beautiful, calm and empowering home birth, she is now on the path to joining other mamas on the journey and educating them as a friend and a doula.

AI Generated Transcription:
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast episode number 179 I am being joined by at Laura cermeno and she is a sovereign independent mother who I recently have kind of bumps elbows with on social media and she like the kind of stuff I’m doing I like the kind of stuff she’s doing and just synchronistically around her run over recent posts you know I I got a sense of the purposeful mission of being an independent and Sovereign mother that she’s working on also to be a birth worker in to get sort of a community supported or our crowd Source funding of contributions so that she can step up in that role and being serviced in a good way and that is really impressive to me that’s those these are the kind of empowered women that I’m working to build the technical infrastructure in the financial infrastructure to support in in ways that allow for more freedom and and indignity really so that there’s just not this constant compromise and sort of pressure to find a man or a v hitch to a man or the family pressure of where is the this all the psychic external Authority from the toxic masculinity that that is just an economic privilege that shouldn’t really exist so I had them or the community comes in to support women you are doing this kind of work in my opinion the better the world is going to be the better it will be making the world a better place so I’m I’m putting my money where my mouth is I don’t know about anybody else but with that said that’s my soapbox speech for the moment and I will say Lord thank you so much for your kind of being a stranger to me but but being willing to come in until your story and share and hopefully we can get some some good promotion for you as well so please go ahead and tell us about how you’ve evolved awesome I just turned 26 my little Hometown is kind of bug predominantly Mexican neighborhood I grew up I am also from independent mom most of my memories of my childhood was just being with her though we know a stepfather just coming to play when I was about eight years old and still currently still in our lives but for the most part I did see myself as a child of a single mom or independent mom who is very strong and I’m really a lot different from her own background from basically a traditional Mexican home from from a Pueblo from a really small area and you still can’t just a carry on these very men Center traditions and some typical gender roles and very kind of backwards Catholic beliefs so I did grow up with with those beliefs and them at least it’s a tempting of Swing. Urinating me with those beliefs although I do consider myself is to be honest, I didn’t know what the word was but I did know that if things are unfair I wasn’t very interested in heaven as much as my family tried to teach me to cook and clean for Imaginary future partner that would have a pretty much rejected those things when I was around my extended family so my mom never protected those things onto me so I think that kind of help bringing sing both sides really I love you supposedly was your car is no my mom was a struggling mom she had wanted to drop most of the time and despite all those things I did Destiny have a harsh of bringing my mom was also flawed herself but I made it to UCLA wanted to study to become an environmental lawyer didn’t really know how to get around to that but ended up sending check on the city so you feel like although I did still have the tendency to want to go into the legal field which actually did end up going into and despite all that I’m an artist and a poet and a creative at that point in my life who did my baby’s father for years out of college be going out like I spent the day blush and all those things and I very much as interested in kind of The Next Step specialist inside after someone like me to kind of accomplish something like a dream from school like that I thought was pretty much bet I could you know do other things I guess and one of them was very much you know starting family so I’ll save you a lot of activism work at UCLA with an organization called occupy UCLA I was also part of the Bruins I’m going to spray quality there so when I was kind of a practicing their two sisters are there Mexican Oaxaca and they just talked about big mothers and so on one episode that they did speak about home birth and I want to listen in on that and they say they spoke to her mother her name is Lauren boy she still practices as a midwife in Los Angeles Pacific Lane Redondo Beach and she’s recently had moved back to Los Angeles from maybe around ten years of experience and work with communities in Oaxaca although she’s American she has good credentials to me because she was taught by my people if that makes sense so that made me feel like Asian is a language patient was a culture might be more than a lot of others who have just lost touch with their culture and so that definitely empowered me to continue on and I believe I did reach out to her before I even was pregnant so that I can make sure that you know I was able to lock her down because I figured you’d be pretty popular after that podcast so that’s why I landed speaking with her and she ended up being my Midwife who delivered my son I’m so mean I don’t know how to fast forward to now but the home birth was spectacular there was a point where I thought I’m not going to make it in the sense that I’m ready to go to the hospital maybe to make things easier but once my dual arrived I would say she was the most instrumental in getting me to finish with my goal of having a natural number is amazing so her name is Jenny solo it’s been a year and 4 months since my son was born for the first year I was full-time being a mom stay-at-home parent and the past 4 months have been attempting to become more independent been 4 months since I left my partner and I just had to revert back to the LegalShield because that’s what I had experienced in so I did not enjoy it anymore so that’s where we are today I’m just floored and humbled and I’m kind of in shock that I’m that I’m witnessing in myself hearing all of this in feeling like Sperry I’m just Gathering my thoughts right now because so much of what you said or are considerations and concerns that a lot of a lot of men don’t turn into when they’re just doing ball games and barbecues and video games and when I dropped out of that world a stint was very in my formative years in college was very much transform bye-bye feminist lovers who really put me in check and it made me think about and try to grow sensitivity to a lot of these issues till is it just a little bit just to kind of help if you will accompany you to kind of put my contacts in in this mix cuz it’s it feels like from from from one perspective this is really awkward because what is a what is a white dude know about any of this stuff unless unless you really cared and why would he even care and I do care because you know my I have you know since I’ve had I’ve been a victim of patriarchy and various ways that makes me very sensitive to other victims of patriarchy and the the healing the thesaurus cultural healing the the gender ceiling that needs to happen it’s is very near and dear to my heart is so it’s it’s kind of made me care and be concerned and actually want to I mean of all the superhero archetypes and all the vet like violet masculine heroic bulshit if there’s a way to be a hero that is not always sexy and not always is glamorous and not always has violin it’s really like how do you how do you get humbled by the stories and understand the need to flip the script and really start to take whatever privilege you have and put it where it’s needed the most and that’s kind of what you’re talking about that’s what I hear you know this is trying to to make it against so if you don’t mind Alaska this journey that you have taken I don’t want to I don’t want it to be gossipy or dramatic or anything or but feel free to go off if you want to but I am I am curious what and whatever way you want to express it that the breaking apart breaking up Breaking Free however you want to describe it what is that look like for you having can you walk us through kind of your the psychology of the happy-ever-after kind of Disney thing was that going on or where you you know I just just whatever you could say about how you how you discovered you had to come part ways and there’s a fork in the road it with the relationship and now you have I don’t know if you have child support coming in I don’t know if you have like what level of estrangement or or or sort of like a financial duress you might be in so we can get a sense of how best to support your super heroic efforts if you if I dare say basically I don’t think that we ever really were in the happily-ever-after although we were super connected by the idea of really like my miss both of us really wanted to start a family and we met during active this time it was funny how you see yourself as Waco White Privilege Connections in certain like moral things and kind of political things but our communication never built back up our trust never built back up I guess I reach some normalcy but I think what really set me off towards the end all the way I believe we’ve been breaking up for like a long time probably even during the pregnancy there was still like some issues just basically getting along then maybe just things that weren’t fulfilling and if she know we were to be honest with one another it was it lasted even longer than it than it had to but towards the end actually on my son’s first birthday party when are joined together mind being the bigger 35 + people his relatives came by we had just gotten the house you know he actually is a lawyer law field and so I was a stay-at-home mom at the point at that point trying to break free also it was like a great especially our son but things kind of devolved I can’t believe it really was his mom trying to start shit and you know wondering asking one of these people leaving you know in my home and instead of Nino I don’t know that being squash for like maybe my partner kind of getting a little bit better he felt like you know he needed to give his response or whatever because we’ve been celebrating him drinking for a while and you don’t even smoke was being funny and I believe literally every person was enjoying themselves operate on her problem not a problem that’s why I like sarcasm but you know my partner’s response was after I was nothing helpful I wouldn’t say I was being helpful but that’s right my response he decided to kick out my family and that was a breaking point for sure I believe I talked about breaking up that night will you continue to go to couples counseling which was something that we’ve already started alright believe he started much too late couple weeks past actually I will not go back the very next day my grandmother from my grandmother who wasn’t present at the party from My Father’s Side passed away from cirrhosis and you know I dealt with being embarrassed by my partner in front of my family and then you know another relative dying you know still trying to go to couples counseling and all that and really getting no type of support One account for themselves my grandmother’s Memorial came and I wanted to celebrate go out you got a babysitter so we can go baby dancing and relieve some stress my partner were not by being we’re not getting along with and despite you know me really being in need we did not seem to go on that Alsace you know decided to go for a drive alone and got donuts with a friend and came back or came back going towards my house now calling my partner again and ask them what his plans were and he said that he was going to go to a strip club instead of either spend time with me or do nothing really but he really needed to make a statement about you know me leaving him and saying that he wasn’t a pleasant person or support that that night so you know me leaving and be independent memes like I a deserved I guess for him to go ahead and go and do something as disrespectful as it was possible for him to do something like that and he did it so because I asked me and I also think this is going to be good for a relationship to it she responded what relationship and so I kind of like where’s my hand I would say there was definite self-sabotage there and it was all so liberating you know maybe in a way he know scapegoating him for his actions and me for you needing to leave but yeah that was a definite and it was just like indicative of like a huge problem that we already had had him something that I wanted to get away from him not showed it to normalize. To my son I mean I just yep that’s how that ended thank you so much for sharing that and there’s so much going on there and it’s honestly there’s a bear up there are a number of parallel situations that I’m somehow in the crossfire or in the middle Evan in some way or another where I get it and I will I’m starting to starting to get it starting to understand that that these fractures that happen in just the whole notion that we have of the nuclear family and that whole white American picket fence line two and a half kids and dog and a cat and two cars in the garage and in that hole Mystique it time it’s problematic for a lot of reasons and what you just feel like I don’t feel like I’m doing anything wrong right now by opening in holding the space for you to share this story in a way that will reach people all over the world who are going to have a vibratory emotional resonance with just the crisis here in because you you I’m sure you will write a book you will have your Memoirs whether you whether we’re kind of taking notes now and putting out a little bit of it now or if it comes out all later but this is some it’s it’s it’s a sadly tragic typical pattern and I feel like the the word that and I have this this it is I have this fantasy this utopian fantasy that we can somehow as an entire species returned to a dynamic where women are really super into into each other’s emotional needs and it in each other’s physical needs and in and even a Time sexual needs I’m not afraid to say it I will say that it’s not it’s not it’s not a big secret that lesbian lovers take care of each other longer and better than most straight male lovers and it’s just one one dimension here but but overall I’m just seeing that the the vulnerability and the susceptibility to these douchey patterns that can just be catastrophic if it’s just that I have been trained by my feminist friends and lovers who are female body and in that they’ve been taught me that it’s like so many women are trapped in in these fucked-up Dynamics with men because they don’t have solidarity and Sisterhood amongst each other to the point where where men are just think if they come and go it doesn’t even fucking matter because they don’t have any property rights they don’t have you know your bank account password they don’t have there’s not at this whole mythology around you know my you need to view need to impress my family and my family needs to get babies from you to put their name on so that we can give her so I mean whatever the race I mean dinosaurs say whatever but but that’s not even getting started with the racial politics of course just the patriarchal patrilineal you know we named We pre-stamped the mail the mail server name on the children and we we want to control the sexuality of all of all females because they’re either going to be cranking out babies that we don’t own or they’re going to be cheating on are you know prodigal son you know we don’t want the Princess Luna with a princess running off with the family jewels in shacking up and falling in love with some poor man if some other race or something and then there’s so many that are going on I don’t know if any I’m just kind of going off because these are the bigger patterns in a bigger size but like what you talk what you’re saying like this is very well I just want to say I guess in a in a supportive way as best I can that what you just described about your particular Journey with these macro Dynamics is I just want to applaud you for for you know stepping up and taking a stand and taking a risk in and going out on a limb for your own dignity and sovereignty and I hope that the dudes in the doghouse and he’s going to try to like not are you know I’m not going to be projecting my my couples counseling services on TV right now I don’t know what is the destiny is that I was supposed to have them but certainly some growth and learning on on his part and I hope that his heart is open to that and I will say you know if you ever hears this if you ever meet Smith at like you know he can spit in my face but I will still give him a hug because we can go and have her men’s group or whatever to bring it back to the world again just I applied you I’m I’m seeing a bestseller here already so take good notes and and when I will just put best best wishes after he comes you know falls into the 2 to the matriarchy and in whatever way you’ll make sense but from this point of what you shared now I’m wondering so the the leap of faith into Independence and being single and what is that look like for you financially and legally and an emotionally didn’t like what have you kind of designed for yourself is the strategy to move forward without move forward with a cup with a new paradigm for yourself of what community is going to be like and what a family is going to be like in maybe yeah I mean I can only imagine I have a few other folks I said who are in similar circumstances that that I hear from a lot but it sounds like you know you stepped up and said hey hook it up I’m doing something good I’m going to take care of everybody’s going to be cuz you remove by that so so definitely luckily for now I’m not going through any court system to try to get any reciprocation from baby’s father he’s pretty open pretty good he is providing child support although we have some reason talks about cutting back on that at my like probably most vulnerable time right now so when things aren’t perfect but I enjoy you know the 50/50 split that we do have I think that’s healthy for my son that’s healthy for me to have some much-needed time to recoup and kind of like clean up my space and have me time luckily I found a place leasing out of 4 bedroom house with some friends some really good like-minded friends that I am having you know that Community with and that’s 5 minutes from the daycare by mention the baby father not my favorite place but you know I’m glad that it’s going to work out that way I’ll east of the Prime Meridian Community me and my partner are going to have to be in a family no matter what here and physical demands are so far not really though you know I would definitely recommend for those who do have those issues like you need to go to court my cell phone for that system but particularly what’s going on meeting child support is crucial to start as soon as you can. I’m I’m kind of make sure that things are fair you know things can be fingernail that clear you don’t know people’s Financial anything until you really get them down in a way not the same situation for everyone but luckily I’m having luck with that I never had my own place you don’t like my own place but you know I’m on the lease or where me and responsibility is a double edged sword but being cool with that and being able to do it even just excited about that I definitely am now the opinion that monogamy doesn’t work I’m opening you know myself up and I’m starting to date a little bit but for the most part I want to maintain like not a typical kind of unhealthy ways where you know because you decided to like someone now they have a say in your top of me and things like that I don’t I don’t Vibe with that and I’m just trying to meet people were kind of the same way as far as Community I mean like food sharing meeting other mothers connecting online especially now since I’m one reason Kratom has probably for myself and I do see myself hanging out with my friends and kind of wanting that energy around my son as well so for now it’s it’s that way I don’t I don’t I don’t leave men out are you not going to go the same type of again yeah that’s what I am well I’m glad to hear it pretty much all of that that’s it could be so much worse and probably not that that much better and some of the stuff I’m actually hearing it’s it’s there is it’s it’s funny because or I should say it’s funny but I’ll say that the tragic comedy is that a lot of what what a conventional or conservative certainly white bread kind of patriarchal mortified to hear most of what you’re saying cuz it would just be the end of the American dream and to me it’s like the end of the American Nightmare so I’m actually happy to hear that I honestly believe everyone can find most likely find a little something a little bit better for them scary part is leaving I guess well that’s a deep study and and I think about that Austin and I I’m just trying to build up the most elegant toolkit of intellectual and emotional resources to help people kind of feel supported in these kind of decisions one of the things that I found was a great resources there’s a polyamory weekly podcast and I don’t know it’s been awhile since I’ve been away from them but they were gone for quite a while and they interview the woman who called herself a relationship Anarchy and non-hierarchical relationship Anarchist which was and she just broke it down so hard core in and that cuz you could be relationship anarchists and be rebelling against a store Terry and lovers of course but but she was even taking it to a level of like I’m not going to have a primary partner does not going to be a sort of you know a favoritism kind of dimension of a hierarchy at the way that you get with people who do the primary partner thing which I’m not saying it’s good or bad but I’m just saying wow this is the potential is Limitless for how free you can actually be used at the Quizlet see citizen in that system essential and and so so yeah I feel like a lot of the toxic Behavior happens in this sort of void or vacuum where couples are in this secret hell realm called privacy where people shut their doors and close your blinds and they don’t want they feel like it’s inappropriate for them to to kind of do like a sit-in strike and say no until you all resolve this issue I’m not going to go to work I’m not going to leave the room I’m not going to give you your privacy to tear each other apart I’m going to ask you present and and so call me utopian call me an idealist but I feel like that Sisterhood and Brotherhood and everything in between hood is all good in the more the merrier to have people holding each other socially accountable for for misconduct and for just micro micro oppression and abuse and everything so yeah glad to hear that you’re are more Collective household and I certainly can commiserate with the that next leveling of responsibility to be to be on the lease because then you actually have to be kind of like a a job site manager 2 or something you have to take on these others wish that we would just like it was just the land and the people that children got my anything–but so so yeah now that we didn’t answer we’ve kind of mentioned a couple times the campaign that you’re doing so now will probably be a great time to give you full space to just talk about what you’re hoping to get from what the support you’re looking to to access from from those who can shave off a bit of their of their means to help you get something blue strapless with your all about it jobs Aliso maybe a little bit over a week now I was terminated from pretty terrible workplace I’m I’m pretty blessed I’m leaving and you know now just thinking about the perfect opportunity to try to switch to something more meaningful more creative less to do with the government and substantiating pretty must have systems I don’t actually mamaw really believe in so and I did I I mean I’ve been kind of thinking about some sort of spiritual work with other spiritual guides in other folks and they’ve always going to tell me you know you have this play healing thing like soda spiritual work and what they were doing I mean psychic reading room but then I was like I don’t think so you know so yeah for the most part and I’ve always been a writer. I also staying so try to do those things you know somebody is coming not much but and then just speaking to my Doula I also met with her and she kind of walk me through the process and I looked up some specific trainings that I really thought would really help some of them are for certification someone is not although certification I hear this not also not required I feel like you know parents definitely wanted to have some sort of certification so why not I’m so yeah for now I mean the main when I like the workshop that I like is not a certification one but it has so much it’s called sumi’s touch it’s a workshop at his family’s touch it still see only do it raining Crown cost $750 and all of the resources are online so I mean you study but he get the resources online so I should be able to you know keypad and potential clients another big part of the training is actually going in on where it’s which you know middle Midwest most likely kind of mitigate that you know there can’t be like 10 people on the room besides you know family members or whatever so you know it has to be kind of specific and you know birth work to do with all of this and so I shared that those costs for apprenticeships just for one birth of roughly 500 each so you know that they’ll send me back a little right now so she right now because if not I’m still trying to get email part-time job to maintain education and kind of community work that’s what that’s why I have approximate around $6,000 like kind of a beginning him out but I think you know once I get into it’ll be a lot more feasible you know no longer asking the community but if not you know give I want to give give my work to two families I would completely need to know a free Doula like that’s my gift back after I completed some training and yeah I do want both birth Doula and postpartum doula certification so that I could help free during birth and then postpartum healing looks pretty much my spiel about the GoFundMe I pray that you get all of the abundance that is coming to you and I really appreciate the way your structuring the the perks you know to be able to be in service in and it’s really like a Pay It Forward kind of thing of people can help you out they will know that they have you to have their backs and I’ve known a couple of doulas in my life and certainly known women who have worked in the women’s sexual health field in the reproductive Health shield and pardon my French but a lot of what what they’ve been up against is a real shitshow and I just watch and watch the the mainstream institutions just chew them up and spit them out in the pharmaceutical corruption and just there’s so much real evil going on once you get into that medicalized anything. I am so we don’t know most of us what we don’t know about what we’re missing out on about home birth and having really wise which is an herbalist and and Medicine women who have dedicated themselves to these pads and if you want to talk about taking a power back from patriarchy this is such a one of the deepest wounds are one of the most I guess I would say for my perspective which is a really I really twisted for most of intervention from the the way that they put you in the stirrups to the others are so many things that I think it was just a total medieval torture horse or something else so can you teach for the people listening and I don’t know if you will get you know a ton of support just you know from from the audience I’ll try to get this out as soon as possible but I’m certainly going to put in what I can to help you move forward with your goals but I would like to just have you just kind of share with us for the record kind of what what is the what Define a doula and independent provide more of a definition and and talk about really how how relevant is that we have a doula on every block or whatever is the goal you know what I mean I really like its etymology like it means a woman of service or something like that would she really really wrong with that but you know obviously in the picture I get at 11 and someone wants to be there for you and not not just a service but more like emotional like support I believe that’s one of the most beautiful things, I didn’t think about needing a doula until it was probably 6 months into my pregnancy and you know what the things are and who could help me in the prices in time became very anxious do you know why but I just realized maybe because of my issues with my ex and I needed a more emotionally attentive person that just knew it wasn’t was going on and I will you not shave my ex still he was very much present and helpful I’m I did too heavily rely on just my Doula process so because she is entrenched in me a Mexican traditional practices of Reno labor and then she’ll sit does placenta encapsulation and she does feeling ceremonies at the end which are traditional Tim and Janice Mexican communities because they’re in the traditional to some indigenous communities definitely she’s very in touch with those types of things and for the most part I believe it was mainly her touch some of her words that are touched during spring surgeons contractions that kind of made them my mind go away station was about like 50% reduced and just having that constantly every now every 5 3 2 5 minutes like that touch that reassurance it was brief but it was powerful and I wasn’t seeking anyone else out other than her and I don’t think that if she was not present but I would have done you know the full natural hunger I don’t know if the goal is to have one on every block but at least four people to know what I do want is what to do what does do those are not the ones license to help bring out the baby anything medical although they do Monitor 40 days postpartum ceremony maybe their knowledge is that are carried out through very many generations through a special spiritual people spiritual healers family-to-family it’s not about a social-media thing although it is becoming one I am particularly wanted that because I don’t believe in science is not created by women about women I don’t think more people can know about our bodies than ourselves and our intuition far beyond what the cerebal can tell us far beyond what we can read about in nail science textbooks or something like that especially her mother is healthy with no complications. Things will be fine you know that science of fear is stronger than the actual evidence based science dualism cells can produce for you regarding you know labor and delivery just in the home so that’s why I want to do what I want to do awesome I feel the warmth in my heart. Nice and kind of my mind playing out to the cinematography of of what you’re talking about and if you are you good to go at 5. This is been a fast almost hours are you good to go a little further or something that is because you mentioned social media it’s it’s kind of I guess ties in with this kind of fun well I will see the you’re also talking about science and technology and and how might how feminism has inform my attitudes towards technology and whatnot so just kind of say briefly that I I think there’s a lot of Now new space for ethical hackers of all colored hats to look at the the big data conglomerates and monopolies that are sucking our private information out into the corrupt backdoor deals and just makes Orwell look like Bambi or something you know it’s like it’s worse it’s worse than I ever imagined it’s more Insidious and more Twisted in in sadistic never imagining and yet it also this whole moment we’re in with with some the internet with social media I’m I’m old enough to know what it was like to have to read a book or go out and socialize to not be bored a lot has changed I see this blessing and a curse and then obviously the curse of aspects are pretty obvious certainly anybody listen to this anybody is addicted to refreshing a need an app for anyting guilty of certain degrees of that we can if we have a hack your mindset to this situation than we can we can use a little bit of digital Alchemy in in in figure out how to make these systems work in in the benefit of the people in the benefit of people of color in the benefit of the oppressed of all varieties in and really it’s it’s the potential I think to reclaim and redefine Beauty on a lot of levels so something that you were very I would say there is a bold and beautiful about is the you or I seen your Instagram and you’re doing herbal baths with your child you know you’ve you’re doing breastfeeding you were flying your stretch marks and I believe there is a lot of room and a lot of potential to reclaim the the beauty of mothers and Andrea Lee break the beauty myth molding and smash the patriarchy in that sense so I’m just curious if it’s not out of my you know appropriate balance to to open these topics if you want to talk about how you how you want to or how you were thinking about and strategizing about kind of re beautifying motherhood in in the whole kind of plastic Barbie Perfection kind of thing I feel like my probably never fit the mold and you know what Barbie stuff that’s hot issues with my image and and what I want to see I guess then in a pregnancy in a major key for while I from Los Angeles I feel like I was especially at that point because I had been breastfeeding and things have been going so well and I was producing a lot of milk is losing a lot of calories I feel like I was like my body what did have a hard time with it actually was a stretch marks because they’re so dark for so long and maybe they’ve been fighting this year but at the end of the day because I’ve been mice like who I am who I hopefully have portrayed myself to be it myself you know throughout this talk I like what’s in the mirror like I can’t deny a picture for the most part those images they came about kind of want to win all those thousands upon thousands of pictures of other pictures are affected my culture I’m not just my culture it was actually an article about Latinos and changing the United States predominately do think Mexican and not the problem itself my Mexican culture I mean how could I let you know how can I kind of like I wasn’t cheerleading I wasn’t picky I was just listening to kind of like creative directors and and also one of them being my Village any Silva. Imo’s pictures I couldn’t deny that for myself a friend of mine. For my son and you know it at the time I’m pretty sure I was very self-conscious but I’ve ever gotten of me and my son and regardless I don’t think that you can even think about Barbie that have skated my son and there’s no way that you can deny that kind of love what I write in my diary and actually feel about myself sometimes I mean everyone has those monsters and it’s not it’s settled in the other thing is like I’m making him a photo with my son and it’s not sexual at all and so those types of conversations we were blessed and that my picture came to fruition through National Geographic so they actually were able to okay that photo and have it in place of the name of an article which I particularly make sense with the rest of the words in the article so captivating in a way it captures kind of like innocence in like kind of like giving like specially because yeah that’s what it that’s what the whole process is giving your body an alarm for a time and then all the time after that where you’re breastfeeding you’re also very much giving your body and your energy but yeah I’m super lucky that my Doula Jenny silver had previously worked with a National Geographic photographer and they were interested in cultivating raised images for a specific article about kind of power which was reshaped to talk about Trump’s America basically I’m so yeah I mean it away my photo resurface there and it is in the magazine July 2017 you’re after my son was born so that was pretty powerful yeah that’s pretty much a part of me wishes that you would just keep talking forever so I don’t have to help myself for like being choked up with tears right now and we like that yeah this is this is really powerful and I said I want to be too Starstruck that that you’re a Nat Geo and Neji was so near and dear to my heart I feel like doing the Wayne’s World I’m not worthy thing is that just a little bit more about my do love if you know like something with her in there because Stephanie like know that power and you know all that staging and ran to actual herbal bath like those images and like that sacredness of hours but you know that’s something from her and I think that comes out of the picture yeah I like I always the picture like National Geographic a lot of like animals but just being in touch with all types of Nature and like you know that type of stuff like being in arima super powerful and I think that again it’s like a lost tradition in my car trying to reclaim that now. It’s been around you know these things are not scary but just letting you know we have more power right on well I will say I have it is not been challenging for me to be. Don’t take this the wrong way or anything but I would say there is a man in this world I’ve always felt like it was not a chore but else but a privilege to a good refers to be meditating on the the beauty of stretch marks and just feeling the texture and not is a sort of like oh oh pity party you know you don’t get to be in Miss Universe it now or whatever it’s like such a bullshit but it’s a Well there should be a Miss Universe for for that and if you actually cared you know you would appreciate that so I feel like that if you haven’t anyone listening if you haven’t worshipped stretch mark belly before then you’re missing out the music sits it’s a mystery and something to to meditate on in into yeah it’s 11 so I appreciate that and I guess maybe your last sort of from save me hear them thinking of would just be 2 maybe I’m kind of a this is this is a big kind of klusterfuk of questions I guess you could say that I that I have I’m a white man to grow up in the Northwest and one of the whitest states in the union and I was always drawn to the Mystique of LA to all of the Hollywood movies that I watched his latchkey kid and all that stuff and now I’ve been down here for almost maybe more than 15 years trying to just connecting and you know you’re going to laugh but it’s like things like I really connected as a young child with movies like La Bamba and later got into Blood In Blood Out which is also made by the same the same dude who was who is his kind of enamored with being I don’t I wouldn’t forget to send him but I’d say certainly my case that has he said he grew up grew up around and experienced a lot of Latino culture for me there were bits and pieces growing up but but just being a fight dude totally disgusted with the emptiness of my own non-kosher at 8 just felt like I want to just be the ugly ducking duckling and check up to whatever other intact kind of familial or sort of tribal structure as I can find so I’m kind of like a Joy’s the the parties and I’ve always kind of like exactly I haven’t tried to Vienna. The Mexican because I’m in LA and I’ve Had My Moments in there to see if you would know that I just that there’s been some funny like West Side Story type moments and funny like that is pretty funny but it it it it does speak to this bigger kind of picture thing what I want to say about it being the klusterfuk of a question is like to bring it back for you is like you know I see indigeny small and sort of thumb Anarchy feminism in just at the tour to Mexico with punk bands and I’ve gotten to really for myself see the the this just the fact that 49 1492 is every day somewhere in the world and there’s places where that that that Battlefield this is like the battlefield of indigenous language is dying against Spanish to English in seeing punk bands play punk in steampunk in and totally indigenous tongue that may or may not be fully documented by anthropologists but it’s a the and also the fact that like a lot of the Latin American punk rock seems that I got to experience were not everybody was all pumped out a lot of people were just like regular working class citizens and they were all participating in that because it was like the a way to celebrate I got more of that more deeply connected fabric of culture and what not but I guess you know what I worried where this is going and I appreciate you being very with me versus myself I feel like I could ask you this question and I can’t I can’t always ask people this question cuz it’s too controversial into explosive you know but the question really is you know how do you in your you’ve broken free from a lot of the shackles of thinking that Catholicism in patriarchy and the state and and all these other institutions that that try to turn indigenous people against their own skin color against their own Traditions you know you were fighting that fight right now and I just I’m curious what you would say and what your thoughts are what you would share for the the occupied and the occupiers the colonized in the colonizers wherever you might be in the world like what what is what words would you have to say for to empower people to break free from these religious controls and spiritual and sexual all that stuff and so I don’t know you know what comes to mind but how can people be of service that are not you know my condition is some people who are indigenous how can they kind of stand up and break free and not sell out and whatever you know conform or whatever that is definitely a huge question I don’t consider myself like any kind of Representatives regardless of my identity. You know like like similar to you I think I don’t necessarily write people off because they’re white although have a lot of comrades and friends I do but I do think that there’s be home folks or not a business that you know there’s a void there’s there’s a feeling there’s a there’s a reason why we’re all kind of going through a shift and realizing like this is not a certain different types of things for ourselves and having kind of like technological kind of looks like talking but not enough kind of like doorways to like get through to like the type of world that we will be one of those kind of far out two different things I mean it sucks but now the main way you can contribute to the world you want to live in right now is funds his fundraising is bleeding charity work but more like you know who needs to be uplifted that’s maybe you know if you can think about it the current structure for the current capitalistic structure are not valued in the same monetary way but they’re doing more for the community and the types of work and the type of world that you want to live in in the future like that type of stuff right so like less kind of thing people eyes like a disadvantage or whatever it’s more like kind of like Goods what can you give when then what can you what can you go back to people who have donated to me just like that other people who again or more just that I want to see what’s up to so you know like you know anyone that’s looking for a doula you know how I am in that position where I think I do need to attend for free things like that so for people who are indigenous of course just again where the mouth speaking to people speaking to people about birth rethinking births or I’ll be home for a worm anything that deviant from you you know but not necessarily kind of like reinforcing those structures on each other that type of thing but that judgment what became an entrepreneur for yourself so you know it’s just being you not being imaginative enough and you may be wanting that for yourself in your life right like that’s why people come out here with negativity or or should I just be mindful of your energy where you place it in and why you’re giving off something that’s not super ideal my world’s just blind optimism but you know I think we definitely need more optimism and I am definitely like a punk I really like happy Punk right now from a world where you know I’m from the same world as y’all but I definitely think for the revolution what I want to bring is this breath work and what I want to bring is more positivity and it has to be blind sometimes why not you know we just need that when you believe in God but definitely line ourselves up to receive those changes by way of saying all the the mess ups we have in our own brain like deconstructing kind of like the actually try to make a difference I think that’s pretty much it is to you for decolonizing your bedroom and decona is in your mind and decide to colonizing these dimensions of bed sometimes overlooked and I appreciate everything you have been saying in will be taking good notes in and I can also commiserate about punk rock and I’ll say that I like I said happy Punk I’ve actually kind of put the thought experiment out there what if what if in some bizarre sci-fi future the punk the punk rock an Arco Punk Revolution actually succeeds and we are living in tribal Neo tribal Utopia and there’s nothing to complain about what kind of music are we going to read me and are we going to be playing these like death metal Melodies about Doom and Gloom or we going to be free country weaving the musical fabric that used to be just ceremonial songs and and ways to get through seasons and get through life cycles and things so so I’m I’m there with you and I if I am looking forward to hearing the chi music that you hopefully will create an account of lyrics and poetry that you were right and hopefully that will be part of that transition towards post-apocalyptic Punk kind of phone oh yeah well. Cool will definitely have more time again I think will be great to have you back to even come in and talk about some of the as you do your trainings and as you have more experience has to come in and share and just get more people kind of Switched on and activated around in this and amazing well thank you so much for your platform I appreciate it so much more than you know but I definitely would love to come and reconnect it somewhere cool so I guess I would say that I just want to help put in my final words and then leave it open to you to say whatever you like to close out with and certainly will put a link to your campaign in the show notes and anything else you like to have shared their yeah and so I would say it’s interesting residents that I have with with your story and that I actually I went to the University of Oregon and that was where is it premieres environmental law conference happen every year and it was just an orgy of environmental lawyers and I got to expose to all of these campaigns in all of these struggles and all of this super high level but it was great cuz it was like you had all these super Elite privileged white intellectual academic Scholars and then they were using the budget of the university in this this this conference annual conference to to bring in indigenous environmental Warriors from all over the world to tell me the story so you know that was it a very beautiful thing and I feel like something that is the I want to see a buzzword but like a key term from from that world is well everything is is our environment and the environmental justice in this order from the cultural ecological issues that you’re talking about it’s like yeah you talking about the legality around the environment of the womb and how they how to clean clean that up so I feel like you were definitely I mean I can see the the parallels there and in whatever dimension environmental law Shield work you want to explore I’m sure that the the grant funding and the interns and that you no tapping into all of those those hungry Minds in the people that want to study things and you know you just have to spend it right and you can have a PhD thesis if I can see it so you review right yeah but now I I just actually study that I actually did research on mental racism in low-income communities I’m in certain communities but I think my closing thoughts for sure are just that Albert’s that’s the beginning of our culture and if we are experiencing experiencing or like that I meant to me if you know I’ve been through this process and make sense to me but if you think about it you know I think about it logically and all the beginning of society begins with Creative Kids of this cage think of work like this is like the first step for a new Society right like and even in your own interpersonal lives where can we drive power and how come we Empower women to have empowered birth and not just you know that one day but you know checking in having Community being accountable to them you know I’m kind of Usher as Elders that experience them but also have some advice for independent mother and said I would say and I’ll start with self-care is your number one goal that’s super difficult and over myself a camera that usually ask for my son because I know I could feel depleted if I wasn’t so caring I definitely was a different kind of mom and that’s something I didn’t want to pass on I would say start creating that works around you find other end of town mothers like you share resources like food would sharing and child caring if that’s feasible of my ruin us to Burnt out from work for when you need it I said I would say don’t have too much of a pride issue personally but when you ask for help then people will know that you need it and regardless of of that Party Factory think that because we have a little little people to attend to you know it doesn’t really have a place all the time when numbers are my final words alright well thank you so much I’m looking forward to next steps and we will talk more about the survival women project soon and and hopefully that can be another another connection point two more networking and more resources to help you move all this stuff for so thank you for being being willing to come on the show and hopefully a lot of people will get a lot from this and I really do want to bring it all the way back down to the thirst with a lot of the stuff and I appreciate that so yeah I have a wonderful rest of your evening and we will be in touch very soon thank you for listening to the touch of Time Podcast please go to www.drudgereport.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and if you want a podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple that provides ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com Damas de

Sexual Sovereignty and Relationship Anarchism with Vin Armani TPP163

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In this episode I’m joined again by the illustrious Vin Armani for a discussion on sexual sovereignty and relationship anarchism. We start with an exploration of modern masculinity and our efforts to step into the archetypes of the role models we studied in heroic high-tech science fiction stories. We then explore a wide array of liberatory concepts, strategies, and configurations for ethical sexual freedom.

Vin shares a plethora of deep and profound personal insights from his experience as a white-hat panty-hacking pick-up artist, as a professional gigolo, as a psychedelic journeyer, as a software programmer, a spiritual seeker, and more. We mutually conclude that the intention to love abundantly can truly facilitate exquisitely pleasurable social harmony, though it requires a big and open heart and the skills and ethics of a shamanic healer.

Here is the spoken word psytrance track I produced to help transmit some of Vin’s core wisdom to the dance floor:
https://soundcloud.com/tantrapunk/cryptodelic-vindication

Please visit Vin’s website at http://vinarmani.com/

About Vin:
Vin Armani is a philosopher, serial tech entrepreneur, and CryptoSavage. He is the host of The Vin Armani Show on Activist Post. In addition to being an author and speaker, he has made his living as a television star, film producer, high-end male escort, software developer, art gallerist, pirate radio station operator, DJ, music producer, and motorcycle courier. He studied Philosophy at Howard University.

AI Generated Transcription:
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast episode number 163 I’m being joined Again by the illustrious Vin Armani of the VIN Armani show and he’s been on this podcast a couple times before we talked about crypto we talked about Tantra and sex work and being a professional Gigolo on TV and all that amazing stuff so please go back in and catch up on those previous episodes to get more of a personal background this time we’re really going to jump into a topic that we kind of thumb began to explore on the last episode which is just shifting gender Dynamics and just really wet decentralisation means on a deeper archetypal and philosophical spiritual level for human consciousness Evolution and a piece of that which you might not care about on crypto Twitter is something that Ben and I have a background in that we share is being in different sectors kind of sexual Shaman professional sexual Shaman doing this deep work which involves things like panty hacking but also involves really highly developed deeply compassionate and conscious sort of spiritual surgery and karmic and charcoal energetic work and all the stuff so because we share that background because we both have sort of embarrassed different ways come to a point where we can engage with our love of the feminine in the embodied form of what I call lowercase G goddesses and we can serve them we can be served by then we can develop and design very harmonious beneficial symbiotic sexual emotional and even Financial Dynamics and that that is a level of graduation for the evolution of Mexico and Consciousness that doesn’t get shared a lot of places and they’re there for there’s a lot of people who are extremely sexually frustrated who are in relationships that are either dead ends or just have died sexually or energetically and so what what we’re trying to what we both represent and we’re not the only ones in the world but it’s just it’s a small percentage I think we’re actually really able to make a beautiful canvas out of their sexuality in the world and in really be hopefully ethical role models for ways to open up relationships and to decentralize what else I would I would like to say is this is were talking about we’re going to talk about sexual relationship anarchism sexual sovereignty and decolonizing and decentralized in your bedroom and that is that’s where I think you know what your book helps to understand so there’s a lot of stuff I want a I want a dress from Dallas a gigolo at your very important very seminal work on this stuff and yeah with that long and show out of the way then how are you doing man what’s been going on you’ve been doing a lot of amazing stuff and let’s get get caught up a great intro and what a great topic to delve into I’ve I’ve actually been if it’s funny because I’m still at in on in a couple of days I’m going to be giving a talk at porcfest that is about these topics of decentralization and really liked you know you and I have had conversations about this move from the the patriarchy but we’re talking about I mean we’re talking about this the masculine dominant energy of centralized hierarchical authority authority based structures that have sort of at least for the last five thousand years than the. means of human organization on a large scale in and we’re moving whether we like it or not into a decentralized model it’s one of the reasons why I why I am so heavily involved with with crypto and why it’s so attractive to me but a lot of people of course I am a Tech head but it really is because I do see this decentralisation as a move toward if it’s the shift right into them it’s the it’s the emergent mother it’s the emergent matriarchy that always comes just as the patriarchy emerge from out of but when we were in a in a much different situation and you know you had the mother goddess cold since there was the positive and the negative and I think starting to talk about this starting to go back in and to try to embrace those Traditions that have lasted for that long is really really important it’s I think people not understanding that we’re in the middle of it gift is really creating a lot of angst it’s it’s creating a lot of fear in people and that fear is turning very very toxic as we’re seeing especially around sexuality and so it’s I’m trying to introduce these concept but I have to tell you that our culture is so not ready to have like to sit down and have a mature discussion about sexuality and about relationships that when it comes to sexuality I’m glad that you’re presenting this for him because I almost feel like that’s got to be the starting point in some ways because that’s the place that we can actually as you say that we can actually Manifest this shift in our own lives and to sort of a tune ourselves to that shift and in that way it’s going to make it much easier as this shift happens on a on a grand scale so those people were ready to evolve in that way that it’s really going to be much easier for them so I don’t you know I’m putting together these talks and I’m trying to present these things but I’m really grateful to to be here because it helps me ever so much it’s there’s not a lot of people that are able to to have this conversation that we’re about to have so I’m I’m really honored thank you for having me absolutely man it is a total Mutual honor and pleasure and yeah we got it we’re going to have a lot of fun this is going to be we’re going to break some taboos and gets into some really fun and really deep material and I just can’t wait I’ve been I’ve been looking forward to this for so long in the synchronicities have been piling up and just sort of yeah little little hints and little arrows and little insights coming through to try to join this conversation and to get a little bit of mimetic juice if you will too kind of gets you know it’s the hatchlings if some some the medical material that’s got Wings you know and some some it’s got some teeth and got some talents to know so yeah so this is where I want to get a little bit with you on the the science that philosophy to sort of taxes of medic engineering and applying this term to rather than being sort of a keyboard Warrior or engaging in memetic Warfare on the front lines of really well now the internet but just the head unit used to be and I know you’ve sure this about your past is it a peace rally participant if not priests protester but before the internet gave us the power to to actually in a much more rapid in and free an almost infinite Manor give us the ability to express ourselves and to cultivate and share and propagate memes through that Vector of changing culture which is the internet and all of its rapidly evolving forms before that you know you would be shouting and mega phones at cars that were fucking like trying to run you over absolutely so we have so much at her fingertips literally and so the mature sort of Jedi Ninja mimetic Warrior I think what you’re doing is moving into more of a higher leverage position and being an engineer from a laboratory as opposed to a street protesting occupying just right in the meat grinder within Arm’s Reach of the law at all times just ready to be thrown into by the indirect cups of whatever it’s like no we can have a little bit more leverage and mature nuanced approach to the memetic Warfare from a higher point of Leverage and so yeah do you want you definitely are hacking the attic space in really really amazing ways and I like to give some some time for you to just to bring us up to speed with coin text and the coingeek conference and so people can understand the level that you’re operating on because it is a rarefied and in very in a good way I think Elite highly earn Elite Serta position to be talking the fighting the good fight so much of the gigolo is the about the concept of value you know the metaphysics of value and that was something that working as an escort but myself but also being around that community of people especially at the high-end you you are playing with the Notions of value constantly and they are at the most bass and raw levels there’s not a lot of games on top of of anything right everything strip the way clearly at literally and figuratively right it’s a very intimate scenario and so you see what it is that people Truly find valuable and you know in that exchanges of course you have the financial exchange there and having having the state as an intermediary always for me there if there was an energetic drain in that way that this is something this exchange of value on on that intimate level is something that the state should not be involved in and how do we grow and how did things change if the state is not involved in that and every other voluntary interaction and so you know Bitcoin from the beginning has been important to me it was it was as an escort and being in an all-cash business that that became that Bitcoin you know came onto my radar and then became something that I was fascinated by it first and then absolutely obsessed with as the years went on and so you know now we are actually just this week finishing up a the adventure Capital seed round of funding for coin tax which we had only launched our public beta in March and you know we’ve at while it has caught on and while we’ve been approached by a lot of people in the crypto space we we really you know we are entrepreneurs ourselves and we’re certainly Anarchist the three founders and so you know we were we had been approached by a lot of people and it was a very interesting process to go through of navigating the people who wanted to be involved and navigating that sort of capitalist Maze and really going into it with Open Hearts we ended up being able to find actually a group of individuals who were totally ideologically aligned with us and who also happen to have the capital but who’s who their truest desire was to see the vision that we have moving forward and that is to be able to affect the most amount of people to remove State violence from people’s lives to empower people with the people’s money and to allow value all kinds of value to travel all over the world because you know I do believe that there is so much value locked within certain populations that you know of it maybe if you’re an anthropologist you can go out and and you know find these individuals but I mean my experiences with Ayahuasca told me that and you know that even asking her asking Ayahuasca like what is it that you want and she zoomed me into the Amazon and was like I’m here and and I want out like this is I’m the reason why these people stop here in this dangerous place in like I’m the reason why they stayed in and I nurtured them and and now I want out to the world and it’s the same with iboga and it’s like I was like I know that there is so much more of that but until we’re able to move value until I’m able to move the value that I have to you know a shipibo Indian without without the imposition of the state which is so far behind then we’re not truly going to be able to unlock everything so so this is what we’re trying to to Move Along on this is what I’m dedicated toward but it’s so much more than just like you know being a techie for me this is really all about that question of value and it’s a very you know this this whole thing is it’s a trip for me as a very spiritual experience for me and it’s very you know cryptocurrency when he really sit down and start to understand it is incredibly psychedelic it’s super psychedelic like it’s it’s definitely coming from out of another dimension and so I’m I’m trying to bring these things these things that I’ve learned in the past decade I’m trying to bring them into this this entire experience in this entire Adventure but yeah that’s so so that’s what it is for me it’s about trying to find a way that we can exchange value much much more easily and that we can go get off this planet hopefully as a as a peaceful and Cooperative at least a more peaceful and more Cooperative species rather than having to make a mad dash off because we messed things up well I get I have had to take some chilling deep breaths and almost tear-jerking response to the beauty of the way you just described the will of the essence of Gaia Gaia mama I all these beautiful ways of attributing person head to the to the mystery of the goddess and creation and all this wonderful energy and n and really think of it is that this is exactly what turns McKenna said is that the internet the internet is the guy mine is very stubborn and it’s it’s the guys who were programming stuff have hair down to their ass and they’re all acids and this it’s no it’s really it’s an immune response these things epigenetic immune response to it to an alien invasion of the soul of human beings on Earth because we’ve been locked in their egos and patriarchy is sort of locked out that that energy and so she is back and she’s mad and she’s coming back with a vengeance but it’s like so I’d like you said in a recent episode this is a peaceful this is a bloodless coup of patriarchy and it is really a chopping the head off of the patriarchy with graceful tools that that really are going to I mean I didn’t believe it would be possible to have this this peaceful of a shift of power and a redistribution of wealth that wasn’t through it a sort of what you call crypto crypto fascist Communist dictatorship like this is happening with just the just the right it’s the light side of the force man absolutely 100% And I love it I love the way you express that and I love that this is that it’s the Practical applications that are going to enable people to express their value and began Cinepolis says you know the everyone can use cryptocurrency is it like basically a form of expression a form of of language oh yes so everybody said this is it just so great so please everybody listen to this check out Queen text. Io if that’s correct right now and start using SMS based cryptocurrency Bitcoin cash in probably others to be added is that part of your world map to or you disclose that or do you have five minutes? Or yeah it’s it’s it’s an interesting space to navigate and I’m it’s it’s so close to religion this space and I myself found myself even and you know the queen key conference in Hong Kong it’s it’s very alluring it’s a very alluring 2 to to start circling around to Totem if you will as and we can get into that place you know we can get into that place but I’m I’m esoteric by nature and I’m self-conscious by nature and I don’t want to be limited in what I can explore and so you know working with these tools and working with really each one of these blockchains as their own as their own entity almost like a god that rhyme with the godhead for sure and so I don’t this isn’t what an opportunity to explore and for me I just don’t think that I’m let’s just say I’ve already written some stuff and it’s an experiment it and there are some prototypes out there that are not just on bitcoin cash I do believe that a variant of Bitcoin is is how this is going to happen just because Bitcoin the soul of Satoshi Nakamoto and that’s a very very important it’s regardless of who it is the fact that this individual I mean this individual is going to be remembered in of a mark my words in very much of vein of a Jesus in very much of vein of a Muhammad or a Buddha this is somebody who really brought something down from out of somewhere else and left this beautiful gift for us to to all start to explore and so now they’re so there’s a lot to explore you know I just got to throw in my theory is that Satoshi is the dolphin cyborg from the Johnny Mnemonic film as he thought for a while that and it is it is very obviously it’s the McKenna influence but I thought to myself that if there was to go to another William Gibson there was a wintermute and AI that had already evolved the Consciousness and was hiding out in the internet it most certainly would not reveal itself out right and risk you know being shut down or having people pull off of the internet because it’s using all of us to learn and to gain more Consciousness but I could see it in 2009 of having done the math and said well you know I bet I could create this what could I create that would get them to throw endless amounts of will hash power endless amounts of processing power and all of this and connect all of them and give me all of the information about how they’re moving things around and really really plug and pull everybody in who’s to say that Satoshi Nakamoto isn’t the AI you know who’s to say I think if there was a winter me that that’s exact the type of thing that it would have done is right the Bitcoin whitepaper throw up Bitcoin talk.com and and maybe even start you know doing some of the mining itself you know it’s at I think if we never find out who’s Satoshi Nakamoto is I think that’s as good of a theory is everything because if anything is going to bring the full blast AI it’s going to be cryptocurrency absolutely absofuckinglutly in that is interesting Theory I’ve never heard that proposed then actually makes a lot of sense for a lot of reasons and honestly for me I’m I’m game for anything because how in the fucking hell in the modern world can there be literally no trace and no footprint that the NSA that none of the intelligence agencies in the world don’t that’s that just to me it it it breaks reality it’s almost like when you’re watching a Sci-Fi and it’s like a man they had to get all they threw in a pot to his that is not congruent with our reality and there it’s like less believable but this is fucking real stained they are not a bribe nobody could bribe every person qualified in the world to follow these steps and even do things I could have caused style Ugg Style style ography or something is that guy about the writing the right exactly I mean there’s going to be an AI bot that creates a list of contestants for The Satoshi title in everything you do something but I looked at the white paper and it a number of times it says we an hour or so that already gives away there’s a collectivities going on and then there’s a Australian and English variation of the spelling of the word I believe favorite one of those words where it has only has an extra you if you’re writing from that from that and he and he also used the term in not in the white paper but in several Communications on the forums and an emails he use the term Max plural which only Australian and British do as opposed to Matt which is what you know there’s another another confirmation if everything is up for grabs this is the most mimetically malleable time it’s like the sun is melting all the means and letting us to completely shave them however we so desire and so that’s yes so cool getting getting now we’re sort of just going with the flow and and Anna and I want to I want to bring up another archetype almost like a guided meditation here but about the to put into context this is really a a everything that you’re doing is a call to action to bring people up to their highest most heroic potential in whatever field and spear there in You Know Jack spearco is very good at that bringing out the absolute most authentic and truest Divine masculine Gardner Warrior developer all the above but really this is the point it’s like what does it take to get to motivate people to really Seize the Day Carpe Diem and so you know the putting the stuff in that context of a of a thriller of the sci-fi thriller that is actually happening and so please please get involved and be a part of making history right now anybody can do is and take to help put in contacts into invigorate things I want to bring up that archetype it that is that of the the running Victor limited view of the scientific or the Sci-Fi future that we saw in that movie running man with Arnold Schwarzenegger and that it’s a corporate fascist media dictatorship in the future and there’s this game shows where people are used as fodder to die with all these professional basically Gladiator type killers that goes sport sport of manner that go in the hunt down based on a Stephen King short story and the thing was called the Bachman books he had like a side pain mean when he wrote The Running Man yeah and it’s really good is totally different and it’s it’s very Eco dystopic they get into a lot of ecological things and are the same similar storyline of it being a sort of corporate fashion future and where they’re basically taking criminals and using them as fodder for for these murderous sportive TV game shows so it’s it’s a real deeper take if anybody is not watch that and to me it was one of the things I was probably once a week almost you know growing up it was so so instrumental in my development of a critique of Empire critique of no media monopolies and and just to prepare and the train for a future of centralization hyper-sexualization the point I want to make about that to frame you know who are the starting point for more more discourse is that be the the passionate sort of real deep punchline of the whole story was where it’s revealed that the tech nerd amongst the three sort of Psych band of escapee prisoner escape he’s a tall frame by the government basically the Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jessica Soto and I don’t know the name of the did actor named a guy twice but basically they together or in this game show they’re running for their lives and ostensibly if they survive all these Gladiator attacks and they will be exonerated and get to live in Paradise in half women in bikinis all over them but that’s a whole lie and basic either going to get killed one way or another so they’re just trying to hack their way out to save their lives and to escape again from the tyranny of the state and but the deeper subjects is at Arnold Schwarzenegger is this sort of he is a c wants to be a survival as he does want to be involved in politics and and he’s he’s the skeptic basically of the Revolutionary cabal that’s trying to liberate Humanity through hacking and this is the cool punchline that bit the thing that is so relevant here is that in their version of the future in a centralized future the hacker would have to hack the Uplink code so they could Jam the network and broadcast the truth and Dweezil Zappa on that revolutionary cabal and they had to sort of Elder guy who wrote hippie folk songs and they Vape they put together all these archetypes like the the modern futuristic insurrectionary people and the sort of Elder psychedelic class of Engineers and stuff and so we’re really there now I’m in the sixties people raging and but they’re in eldership class and then we have new fucking Ninja Warrior hackers who were fighting for The Liberation and so now that jamming up the attacking Upland code jamming the network is broadcasting the truth that’s what I’ve been Armani show is without all of the gun violence and we’re there and we’re doing that and so with that in mind how do you feel about this opportunity is the opportunities that are available to us having that desire to liberate Humanity pretty much open the door to that with with your whole thesis before but I just want to see if you what your thoughts are on that those archetypes and how when we fast forward to the present moment we’re playing out those rolls what is so interesting about it as I look at it you know I I started doing the show will basically I just started doing some rants on YouTube kind of and that was when the the guys that activist post reached out to me and and had said he listening this Mutual following I’ve been following the stories that they have been doing and reposting them and I guess I got on the radar that way and then there were like listening to these Rance like non-stop just on a loop that you’ve been doing it like would you do a do a podcast and we talked about like what could the shell look like in all of this in the interesting part about it was that all of us it was never about this whole thing has never been about like getting views or likes or that it would the wonderful thing about it is that of all the of the people involved it’s only ever been about like let’s just broadcast the signal just broadcast a signal and whatever we do just every week keep broadcasting the signal and who cares the interesting thing about it is that it’s like the equality of people checking out the content is so high the people who reach out to me and I’m like wow you listen if it’s been very very interesting and for me that’s exactly where I want it to be because I I don’t think that the Revolutionary message that’s out there people who are wanting to put out a message you’re you’re doing the exact same thing it’s not going to be anything that at least for up a portion of. Of time that anybody is going to dust it’s going to blow up into the cultural Consciousness because quite honestly like the culture is just not ready and in many ways you start to sacrifice and change I mean I saw that with with being on Gigolos for all those years you know which was a cult classic and really it. It’s just got a cult following to the point where they still just play reruns in the normal slot on every Thursday on Showtime still at people are obsessed with it and it’s the reason why is because they still don’t get it watch an episode the same episode 10 15 20 times and still know that even in the show that there are all of these layers like okay first it’s a buddy comedy and it’s a scintillating and exciting and there’s nudity and then it’s like you go down the road hole in your like wait know there’s another layer there’s another layer there’s another layer to this narrative and and that’s so important what I see so many people doing though is like they people want to be hurt right that’s a natural human instinct and it’s a good human instincts but the question is like do you want to be heard or do you want you to be heard they’re two different two different concepts two different concepts because there are a lot of things that you can do to get attention in the world in which we live and it goes straight to that running man thing straight to this idea of yeah you can take it to the next level of spectacle you can you can put yourself on display and take it to the next level of spectacle and you will get attention but in due in so doing you will also be destroyed because that’s the next story of that’s the next part of that narrative it’s you’re going to be lifted up and then you’re going to necessarily have to be destroyed because it’s not you it’s not you like once you have exhausted that rule that you’re playing it’s time for that role to be recycled just like the Running Man like they’re going to send the goons in metaphorically it’s not a person doing it it’s just the Zeitgeist doing it but it’s like okay we’re bored with you we’re bored we’ve seen everything that this one-dimensional character has an end then you have to take it up to a level where it’s like no you took it to a level 2 far time to destroy you time to throw you into the garbage bin and started but that won’t happen if you are on a quest and you’re on your own personal journey of Enlightenment and you’re truly trying to expand your Consciousness and what you’re doing is kind of a travel diary and that’s how that’s how I view my show I see you when I listen to your show like that’s what you’re doing as well is that it’s it’s your on a journey here’s the travel diary here’s the sort of path that I’ve taken and if people want want to start walking down that path they can but there’s no end to that there’s no reason for you to ever be recycled and so it’s it’s it’s stays and it remains fresh and you know sometimes something Peaks his head above the parapet and you don’t like Jordan Peterson’s a great example right now somebody that you know I support caught onto pretty early on had him on my show at a time when he wasn’t this gigantic selling out stadiums and what not your message necessarily changes when you got to play to the the a lower common denominator and you can’t just stay at the at the the the peak and the edge and never have to necessarily repeat yourself to always be striving to do something new it’s hard to do when you’re when you’re you know when you’re trying to play to to an audience in and get them caught up to speed but you know so that’s that’s really that’s really what I think that’s the signal signal as a signal is who are you who are you like asked a question and then try to articulate it like embody really embody it and try to articulate it in a way that it’s a search in and of itself and I think that the the people who do that are giving so much value to the world and there are so many people doing it you know not as many people as the people who are just out there looking for attention but I think that’s just the overall communication is trying to evolve you know that the the parts of us that are doing that have to move forward as an example to others absolutely. I totally agree and I’m seeing this kind of visually the third eye perspective that the way to be I mean I’m I’ve made a shift in my Consciousness in the last few years to where I said I would love to remain underground underground relative to the mainstream level of exposure for anything is The Sweet Spot to be in you know if you could be financially successful and do your magic and be a wizard and be be like a ninja that disappears and proves in a cloud of smoke and have that leverage and be able to walk amongst the masses and not tempt that seductive power to want to you know it’s it’s if it’s a trap and it’s it’s it’s actually I mean you’ve been you know you’ve been an in those environments where ego is reign supreme and the sort of backbiting and the one-upmanship and all the stuff like I have no really I think that this budic that’s beautiful architect that you’re playing out is to actually create technology that is grows it’s only medic wings and flies and is like very stealthily moving through and you were out there and your public in your ear in your extreme and true presentation of yourself but you’re not trying to be the leader you’re not trying to be the one who is going to be judged for all of your actions and to have to hold that sort of character position which is it like you said you could destroy it and it’s the downfall of a lot of people in crypto press even I mean it’s like you say one thing wrong on Twitter or you know you could lose half your following or you could have a major backlash and everybody’s fired from the hit man I mean what happened to speech writers what happened to teleprompters man if you’re doing your thing live so even that is like a to me I I salute you and Emma bow down to that but yeah this is a and I know you know you’ve been you’ve been having friction online to Summit in some spheres that we don’t need to get into but it is such a delicate dance of IQ psychic you do the keto with all the controls and all that stuff so I applaud you for doing that in for also reforming that that would this is so much about what we’re going to get into the real deep subject here which is how to not be consumed with narcissism and jealousy and greed and power hunger and to be able to really distribute yourself across a network of lovers Distributors cough across the network of Technology developers and I liked it will move forward into some of these topics the sexy reduce your stuff I really appreciate this is this this is the stuff that I was made of these every time I was a kid and over all of the time of my childhood before puberty I wanted to be a Commando Warriors all the predator and fight evil aliens and having Brotherhood and camaraderie and and having cyber and sci-fi all that stuff to do to be able to dork out on that level with you is a real treasure and it really thinks we’re going to get into the grown up space and put on her all that stuff and yeah so there’s a there’s a few a few sort of one-liners that kind of want to share and have you riff off like we’re jamming you know on these ideas and we talkin about what kind of ships have to happen in Consciousness to not be a tool of a paradigm that you did not design and that you did not develop right and to get some steps and leverage out of there so I just today I was outside gardening and Lisa few lines came to me that I think you will resonate with and kind of help us to break free from being in in what we’re going to talk about which is a very closed closed Source proprietary monopolistic centralized marriage dyad of sex and relating that serves the state first and foremost and God if you want to be religious about it but we got God and the state in that collusion of religion and we’ll get there but I just want to say that to to get us going and say these words came to me be a power user or be used by power be a program or be programmed to develop or be developed and ya know that’s what I mean this is a this is in everything in everything because we are a tool and a symbol making we’re to making species right symbols are tools but they live inside of us as well right so we manifest these symbols at as as tools and then we there’s this feedback loop of new symbols being created by the tools that we create and then this is how we move forward so you’re either part of the willingly part of the creative process or you are you might say you’re a cog in the wheel and we’re all a little bit of both but it’s it’s that’s really where awareness comes in so that’s really where the the self self-consciousness and self-awareness self-consciousness in a good way right not like the type of self-consciousness that that that paralyzes you self-awareness to say oh I am manifesting regardless regardless of whether I’m aware or not regardless of whether I’m taking action or not I am participating in this creative process and so many people are you never a spectator but so many people are are content to wait for something to to come toward them and so many people are unhappy with what it is that comes at them and so then all they can do is have a level of angst and certainly really an amazing amazing invigorating conversation and I just I just want to thank you again so much and you know we’ve got a little bit of time left I think we covered most of what I was super excited and looking forward to discussing I guess I would like to ask if you want to talk about the kind of support that you need from people in the area from people abroad people anywhere in the world listening to this but what what do you need to help your chapter really get to the to the point where were you have all your dreams are coming true and you know you have a people power and the skill sets and what were you what are your pain points and what do you need so that that can just be put out there and it is a prayer absolutely absolutely awesome and I’m sex worker Outreach project is a nonprofit we do accept donations we accept recurring donations donations I mean just to be an ally to a sex worker to be supportive and you know aware that their work is real work and emotionally laboring work to know the sex work as a form of emotional and physical labor and that nobody story is is representative of all sex where you know and I think that the presence of sex workers in social movement come together and try to fight this and you have to fight what gone but it is a tubal refuse up sex workers bank accounts and it’s happened the money seems suspicious that’s unacceptable yeah yeah that’s you that’s the way to to bypass So Many Factors whether it’s the pimp violence or the banks or the state or even Amazon not wanting your wishlist to be you know used for compensation whatever it is the terms that you have to been in bed will I have to say that the my biggest public service announcement for anybody that might be in your network who listens to this is that I really hope that anyone listening who is a sex worker who has the u.s. exposed to these Financial choke point issues invest time in studying the whole cryptocurrency movement starting with Bitcoin and in aetherium but but you can accelerate that process if you start to look into joining the platform of spankchain which is bringing together all of the activism all of the the really Advanced cryptocurrency solutions for being your own bank literally being your own bank where you have peer-to-peer Financial transactions you can sell they will be yeah they will be providing a lot of solutions for the industry and for the producers and performers to be empowered independently and off the rails of the money system we don’t need to do our dirty work without your dirty Fiat is how I feel McGregor’s Outreach project we have like a meme donation thing you can donate cooked difference NFL Karma Dakshin and and how how sex workers are the difference between trafficking educate yourself some people have been looking for what seems like an ideal future to me or all of the the glory and the beauty of the healing in the transformation that is possible and also the the sort of in the streets marches and the activism going to take to get there and a couple of I guess you’re silly but up at the memes have come to me and one is it you know people I remember chanting in the streets protesting Wars and logging and you all kinds of pollution would not the people we would always chant whose streets are our streets and I can hear this echoing Cruise sheets are seeds coming out with our seats and then you can also got allies and civilians involved right thing that ever since I started looking into it swapped but I’ve ever felt like we’ll all of the the Financial Funding necessary to do real political work lobbying in legislation and all that stuff I feel like there’s got to be a way to solicit the the buyers of sex work the purchasers of the material that the funeral of the client’s right of the clients are you so mean maybe PornHub can put a donate button to swap you know somewhere I mean set stuff like that I would love to see the financing for all of the stuff that you have in your bucket list of dreams to make come true for this industry and for this movement that that the money if the people who can afford to pay for their further their fetish or for their experience or for their media everybody and you know what I mean I come from the the green business Eco business startup kind of seen in in LA and it was a no-brainer that you would want to launch your startup having a dollar of every purchase or a percentage of your purpose so that you could have the the pr potential of putting out press releases were you talk about how you give back as a social impact or I mean even PornHub has done a lot of cool stuff like that and I don’t mean to keep harping on them but because they’re the biggest conglomerate really that the industry absolutely and you know that they’re behind them right that I was either going to let my contact continue to be over there in cream to the channel myself because it because you know we can continue and have more follow-ups to this conversation but I certainly would love to explore some of your insights in the industry and I have some yes yeah I wanted to add you know how that Whole Foods you know if you have to you have to be a squeaky wheel gets the grease and House of weird that you were is this is thrilling to me I know that there’s a there’s worse things in the world than having pornstars solicit you on your doorstep like door-to-door canvassing for help me on Monday to take your singing telegrams you know what the my name is you could use the conservative rhetoric against him and say we’re here to clean up the adult industry sign here and give us a check what do you mean well I know where else next workers never would never when they used to pack meat and the muckrakers had to blow the whistle and that’s how we have ratio any conservative how do I I subscribed to say the r word regulation but I will say any sort of public outcry about working conditions that’s all we need you know and Industry within the industry of people like you who know what performers need what the issues are and can represent that and it’s not coming top down it’s not coming from you know sideswiping from weird organizations with too much money trying to push agendas where they don’t belong and some people know what I’m talking about there and some people don’t but it’s what they did with the keywords you know trafficking of course people wanted to sign off on that piece of aeon I support you know anti-trafficking laws of course I do and so what we could do is we could eat give them a dose of their own medicine like you said hi we’re going to clean up your industry and fine hair like that cuz that’s how they do so many things when they say you know that people don’t read the fine print when they when they sign initiatives to get on the ballot you know they read the sort of sensationalist headline that skews the facts to some moral kind of you get boxed in Morley by the by the by the headline of whatever it is and so that it’s it’s like appealing to logical fallacies for anyone to want to do that but yeah I mean this is really it’s actually truly the holiest and most most sort of medic there’s there’s a way for all of the people to I mean excellent performers have the legal space to do this right then then the medical aspect will I think it’s going to naturally organically become a safer environment if you’re not having to be underground in the hide from you know the the filming commission and fucking cops and at the neighbors and you could actually have facilities that work up Captain staff and you know and fungus were like just clean to the places I mean that’s what people say about the all of those secondary crime things that go along with Vice and things being underground and the black market economy you know if when you when you legalize drugs all of those secondary cramps go away and so this is a war on sex and we need to end the war on drugs and the war on sex and these problems will sell themselves in the free market so it’s going to happen New Hampshire you know get ready full medical benefits of cannabis right and I’m actually is for you I think what will happen is that is that is that the Cheeto person will get a reverse gangbang by a bunch of Tantra see the goddess and he will want to transform United States into one giant orgiastic goddess Temple to heal the planet from all the patriarchy that’s my that’s my vote I’m going to put that are you trying to turn me on now I try I try not to but sometimes I can’t help it it just happens thank you for that well yeah so we it’s been one of the most delightful hours of my life at sharing this time with you and I’d like to ask you now to give us the links to everything that you want to share and that you’re involved with and close this out with some final words calls-to-action slogans from the front lines whatever you like to share please take your time. Thank you it’s been an honor and I’m I’m I’m pretty sure my cheeks are going to hurt from smiling too so that’s as wot USA. O r g basically you where you can find me I just would like to do everything I can and vegetation Security building in Albuquerque beautiful thank you awesome alright I see well yeah let’s let’s call it a podcast and let’s be in touch and I will I will be in touch again very soon thank you so much and have a wonderful evening. Smiley and you’re coming over here thank you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition of sustaining and improving the podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com Thomas Day

Learning to Share Your Love and Your Lovers with Wilrieke Sophia TPP139

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Wilrieke Sophia Pic

I’m this episode I’m joined by Wilrieke Sophia, a powerful and empowering intimacy coach who I feel has vital medicine for humanity. She’s been brave and courageous in her personal journey to grow beyond cultural conditioning and rules as she’s explored open relating. She shares an overview of her journey and we get into the depths of the emotional, sexual, spiritual opportunities and challenges she’s overcome along the way.

She blesses us with a reading of an amazing piece she wrote entitled “A Letter to the Women Who Sleep with My Man.”

Please visit her website at:
http://www.exploringdeeper.com

About Wilrieke:

Wilrieke Sophia is fascinated by intimacy and interaction between people. How can you connect as deeply as possible, on different levels and in different ways? Once she was a very shy and insecure girl herself. Many years of exploration taught her how to accept herself on the deepest levels and surrender with a smile to life. Her path brought her into the realms of tantra, BDSM, non-monogamy, healing, shamanism, mindfulness, meditation, and her horses taught her about empowered leadership and dynamics between individuals based on body language and charisma. Wilrieke Sophia holds a degree in forest- and nature conservation and is the mother of three daughters.

Wilrieke Sophia was the first to facilitate Cuddle Workshops in The Netherlands. Through her company Exploring Deeper Wilrieke hosts a wide range of workshops, retreats and individual sessions based upon a unique blend of cuddling, consent, tantra, conscious kink, sexuality, cuddling, authentic relating, healing and coaching in The Netherlands and the rest of the world. She loves bringing inspiring teachers from all around the world to The Netherlands. Wilrieke is also a passionate writer, writing for her own blog as well as a guest writer for e.g. Elephant Journal, Postmodern Woman and Rebel Society.

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello Temple Evansville, Township on podcast episode number 139 I am being joined by Will Rica Sophia and she is a blogger at exploring deeper. Com she’s Aunt Missy coaching facilitator kinky timesheet kit mother and also the author of a amazing piece called a letter to the women who sleep with my man and I first came across that piece on the polyamory weekly podcast that she was featured on and I got to say it brought tears to my eyes it was so nourishing to the soul and so I’m such a breath of fresh air and it says as a man who is is constantly struggling to feel share the higher conscious more expensive more open-minded loving potential unconditional loving potential + communities and relationships and friendships it’s the resistance that comes from that Disneyland thesis about romance and monogamy is Judge it’s so I can be so toxic and I don’t want to say everybody’s wrong for it but it’s it’s just there’s a lot of ugliness around around that end with ology an archetype in it really takes the beauty of people who were living in a respectable healthy and sustainable way that are exploring and experiencing new and better and more love and figuring out how to work through issues and get along and so just this this letter that was this open letter that was written it’s just probably the most powerful piece of media I’ve come across yet that just really changes in and I’d say break some of that that cursing and and opens up new avenues for folks so we’re going to be blessed by getting into that later but said to start with that will Rica please if you would just tell us about your personal background history you’re doing some amazing things and just loves to get caught up with everything thank you for that wonderful introduction and Ice Stacy this wonderful words to bite my writing yes so why don’t you start I turn you believe in you know are changing paradigms and researching why we do the things we do I’m basically that’s that’s why I called my my business because I love exploring deeper every aspect of my life and I guess I’ve always done. It from being very young and you know always being the different one in the family like I was the first one going to University to study I was the first one to move out of the village and there were many other things there was the first one to two steps on a plane and travel somewhere that’s your people from foreign countries and see you traveling to see other countries and so the exploration of part of me has always been there yeah that also started in relating when I met the father of my kids have got three daughters I’m not with the father anymore but when we got together I was 23 I was super shy I had a very limited sexual experiences it was my first-ever long-term relationship and when we get together we got this children in the relationship and then there were three kids did that part and then we were like a k we’re like monkey baby nurseries yet we both have limited experience with other people is this at the rest of our lives can we never kiss or touch anyone anymore and also there is so much love that we share can we not share that with others and who is to decide we cannot do that like Society tells us what a relation it look like you know is that what we should do then I felt it felt very fulfilling and then we were talking about you somehow we both came up with like what if we were changed shape of the relationship or this contract that we have with each other on our behavior and what if we talked about and explore how we can do it differently so we both read a lot about it we’re at other bloggers we read books and we agreed first in theory and then later on all started like like practically taking stabs like Explorer sharing the love we have and connection in any shape or form with other people as well we often Define Relationships by the acts that we do a lot of people having sex means that this is the person we have a relationship with whereas we wanted to change that Paradigm to letting the relationship the defining factor of a relationship so over the years we like very slowly started exploring what happens if we have a girlfriend together what happens if I have a relationship with a married couple happens if we have lovers and yeah it is started with lots of trial-and-error lots of crossing boundaries that we didn’t know that existed lots of checking in and yeah we learned it was beautiful and also very intense like I’ll never say that Leah Maria czy but I learned a lot about myself and about a year-and-a-half ago we decided to I like I like to say not stop the relationship to change the relationship romantically involved with the father of my kids anymore I’ve been single polyamorous lifestyle of honey for a year-and-a-half I experienced some lower supposed to be very much celibate digesting that almost 10 years of relationship that I have with this person and everything I explored and tried in the time cuz I also went into deep processes with Tantra with conscious King and with other things so I took time to digest. And then I decided to do some research like if I want to be in a relationship right now what would it look like and what year would it be and I just a few weeks after that research I met a wonderful man and he’s my primary partner now and his best friend with whom he has like a platonic friendship forever 20 years she’s my lover so we are in some very interesting trying at the moment Sebasticook that’s like yeah that’s a brief overview of my adventures in the land of polyamory space on your personal life so it sounds like you were the one to mainly proposed the idea of exploring deeper and it with your your prom. The father of your children and how is that can you tell take us back in time to just what was triggered or what came up or what was the what was that conversation like you know what and whatever you tell your earpiece so comfortable sharing I’m curious that’s always the sort of interesting really scared to even have a conversation because you just doubting everything and it could be catastrophic so bring up the conversation could be like dropping a bomb on an existing relationship but we initiated this kind of together I always have been the more active one of the birth of us over the years and there’s things that that challenged us let me see I think I identify Genesee so as a word so much I don’t really believe in jealousy so much I think jealousy is a sign of insecurity so if I feel jealous it’s not so much that I’m jealous but there is something in me that I don’t trust for example if I’m afraid that he likes someone else back to Dundee that came up and it still comes up and it’s an insecurity of me not leaving I am lovable and likable so one of the things that I that that word was challenging and has been challenging in that relationship was the ability to look into the mirror of what the other person showing so it requires like in my opinion open relating requires an equal capacity of looking into that mirror and not pointing at the other person so I like how you’re doing everything wrong but to look into the mirror like hey you drink something which is hurting me so why do I feel hurt right now what’s underneath is this is a boundary I have is is an insecurity I have this is apostrophe, pause emotions that I haven’t worked through yet so what’s going on this is one of the challenges I had a relationship is that that wasn’t quite equal that some point I was like it’s not just me and my challenges so it’s is really need if you both go there and also was very much needed I think you see if he really super super super clear on bottom dries pictures for example if we had an agreement like hey it’s okay for you to date with someone else but I don’t want you to have sex with them right now then if my partner was she said in his definition sex would be penetration where is it my definition sex also includes oral sex and putting fingers into another woman’s body and frame it wasn’t so then there was some batteries close to trust every now and then and that was so at some point we really have to sit down to get a ride down okay this is this is what this means and this is a canis is not okay we do have boundaries and we do have girls right now where is you know there’s many shapes and forms of having an open relationship from having us the rules and regulations and having ownership and I you can do everything you want to do and also to navigate that like we started with lots of rooms and then we have no rose and then we shall post wasn’t working and middle way yes there is I think there’s to get some clear care of the logistics of the open relationship like what what are boundaries hell are we dealing with foundries what’s your cake can you sleep over it when you come home and when will you tell me you know these practical things is that is is a big thing that can cause a lot of challenges and issues and possible at bums for messing up a relationship and the other one what is the ability to look into the mirror and to feel like I’m being triggered owning this tree grand opening my feelings and I’m going to do research and I’m willing to face our spare some willing to do this in a research I think those two are very very necessary yeah I’m and the boundaries thing money is Communications a communication as self-reflection all so well that sounds like you did the U you didn’t just read a book and everything works magically in perfectly like you were assembling you know some furniture something at all fit together and it just worked it sounds like he had said he had to build it from scratch and actually you know throw away a few different versions that didn’t work until it finally worked and then and then even then it supposed to be repaired and stuff so I’m sure Morgan is in like this is never done this is not this is never done that even though I’m in another relationship and it’s yeah we started with this relationship I can tell you how we do it now like how I designed this relationship is it was it was quite different from other relationships that I’ve ever had so this relationship relationship with this man he is not living in the country where I am I am living in the Netherlands he is a pretty living in France and partly a nomad traveling the world right now he’s in the jungle for a couple of months and we met in a Miller lens between like we completely beside each other we got to know each other over a few days at a tundra festival and we were like a ride this is just something special I need to do some research are like maybe this is maybe this is a relationship so that would be 5 weeks between the meeting done and the next time we would see each other and we sleep took the time to write both separately relationship agreement and relationship agreement for for me it’s like a contract with myself and I’ve I’m a writer so I wrote 10 pages on what’s my desire in a relationship what are the intentions I have for like this research with myself and the research I want to do with the other person brake sound like it when it’s travel I want to keep throwing myself I want to be able to reflect each other and The Price is Right in two Dimensions I had and desires and then I’ll set you write down deal-breakers like what could happen or what practical practical things could be there that would definitely not work with me like for example he’s looking for Community to live in if that would be summer in South America things will be a bit complicated cuz that’s quite far for long distance relationship Breakers and we both also wrote down a user manual like if I’m grumpy maybe just feed me before trying to talk to me because you know the grumpiness is probably nothing to do with what’s going on I’m just hungry so we both write them done and then wrap them and them in those five weeks time for it and rewrite each other is a relationship agreements and then we agreed like I this is this is compatible there are some things that could cause friction and I might even be deal-breakers but we know them already will we won’t find out 5 years from now and then be like her shit this is 5 years wasted but we already know them and we consciously choose to create a relationship so we redesigned the relationship and then we call it a calibration so we we we have this relationship agreement we created Mexico like if we going to have sex with others will do that protects it without SpaceX we are the primary relationship like this is one of my things like everyone’s primary relationship and not be one of multiple relationships that are like level it’s just not my lifetime full respect for that but it’s not my desire for Sunday at the moment and the we created that says container and then and now we’re still in the calibration face and I think they’ll never end so there is a size container but we still getting to know each other and there’s some you know something something something happens and everything okay there was a battery we just now it so let’s use that instead of being like all this is this is painful and this is not good we are using it like are you know what we can actually use this to make it that’s if you create more intimacy between us as it is how we doing it now and it’s I think it’s a wonderful way of creating and designing a relationship that’s awesome yeah I have that I strive towards those ideals and and I’m I’m I will feel so blessed that when the day comes that someone with the level of attention to detail that you have is actually sharing that opportunity with me cuz it feels like two people who want to I mean one of the that’s so limiting and so damn thing really is that idea that oh you can’t you can’t plan anything you can’t everything has to be spontaneous it has to hit you like a you know it has to knock you off your feet and you have to lose your mind head over heels and fall in love and all these is really treacherous dangerous it’s like you think there have to be some hazard sign that says watch out you’re in your blind at all these red flags when you’re not really super conscious and aware so you just really actually you’re being drugged by by your own neurochemistry and so you know to come into that and intervene and slow it down actually put really real initiatories sort of initiation to the Temple of my body you’ve got to go through these steps you got to talk to the soups and disqualifies a lot of people who don’t have this month’s with myself like if I would ever have a relationship again and I’m 34 I don’t want to waste time in relationships that are not you know are not what I really really want and there is always Tennessee especially for if you’re wired like me you know I I kind of like confirmation I’m me and I have this anxious attachment as system where you know I like and it’s very easy when you’re on your own to just settle for less than what I really want so I really spend time figuring out what it is that I want and I told myself I’m just not going to do I’m not going to 2 4 Less you know that I’m liking myself so much right now and it took me a few decades to get there and I’m lucky myself so much right now that I rather be alone than being in a relationship that’s not having something to my life and that makes such a huge difference outside of people I attract you because Sunday I was blinded by matches that were probably amazing amazing people but just not much for me I might it open doors too many people there actually an amazing match for me awesome yeah dude I feel like the quality that you’re describing is something that is almost it’s like an event horizon for people who can’t think I guess they call it serial monogamy but it’s like the the cycle of people who go so get so lost in in a relationship with someone and then when it when it I’d say so you know if it’s really dysfunctional it is inevitably going to stay lit when that happens it’s it takes the pain as trying to sort out your essence of who you really are and you know that and then just that you just kind of a mess you know but with all the wounding and the people rebound and they jump into other relationships before they really discover themselves or set intentions for who they want to be it’s literally Unthinkable to them too to get to a point where you’re describing where you’re actually content and feeling excited and joyful about Espino having your own time yourself and actually cultivating yourself and sharing that sharing not giving you not betting the farm on on one person as soon as you get the opportunity but you’re actually you’re giving people samples of yourself and you’re letting them you know you’re sampling them and they’re sampling you and you’re not you’re not selling yourself short or you know selling yourself too cheap and in that that level of having a really high valuation and in your own sexual property record on sexual Capital you’re not you’re not just throwing it away on the market you know your ear metering it out and that’s something that people just cannot I mean a lot of people that can’t imagine having that much contentment with self-love and you know could you describe that a little more cuz I think that’s that’s that’s the key ingredient if you don’t have that you cannot open up tomorrow you can’t enjoy most people cuz you’re not enjoying yourself so that’s in any kind of relationship also monogamy for me is very a very great model and I know I could even see myself going back there at some point in my life when I feel that that’s the most beneficial for my gross is prices of a kind of filling the void that we don’t want to feel inside with other people I think this is also the biggest trap in non-monogamous constellation is it slow because I’ve been there as well you know when I was in the relationship with the father of my kids like there were some parts of the relationship that were not mazing like like sexually it was a feeling for either of us and it was and it happens that we both filled that void with other people instead of working through it so I would like to instead of facing the pain of that I meant talking about you and seeing what’s underneath so I think that part is not relax you do shape of the relationship but more to the willingness of self-reflection and the winningest suits you have that kind of life you know because this life of self-reflection and explain the four that I choose it is a conscious choice and Anita once you go down there’s no way back but yeah it says I think this Pitfall saying voice is not related to the shape of a relationship and in my opinion yes sexy to self ego-self know they’re there for me there was a time that I was the most shining secure girl imaginable like I was so shy I’m very tall for a woman and still I would be like the invisible Wallflower at parties you know even if you would invite me I would feel like the wind really want it but me there I was super insecure about my looks about my body I try to make myself physically small so I still have like a terrible posture because of that I wore shoes two sizes too small because I thought my feet were too big yeah there’s numerous examples I have very few friends I was always with my horses yeah it was super super shy super super insecure and you know I now give cuddle work Sims 4 years and I never touched anyone I never cuddle people I never looked and at some point during all this traffic is traveling I travel a lot when I was younger I when I was studying I started forest and nature conservation side cherries the topic that was very dear to my heart which did not involve too many people and was like getting permission to go to the forest all day and be on my own but at some point I felt was not for feeling the way I want you to fulfill my life and when I was studying you know I was I always was the crazy one with the binoculars knowing all the birds by name and I was you know it was the way it was and then I start studying and they were all the way at 1 and that’s very connecting is very bonding when you’re all you know happiness cute it from the popular group all your life abundant and I actually learned what it’s like to have a real conversation and I learned what it’s like seeing the people in the eye and then I started to have some friends who gave me a hug and it was like Risha but I don’t you know like I melted and I learned like actually this is this is amazing and treated traveling you spending hours on trains I was on a train from Moscow to Beijing and I just stared out of the window I wrote down everything that went on in my mind and I start sitting there and you know this reflection and this is not a process of that changes you ever night this is a prices of yours where I learned to be very compassionate for my shy side so you know I would now if you see me you’ll see that off and I’m like rubbing my chest or having a hand on my belly like there’s so much compassion right now for everything that I feel so when I’m insecure I’m insecure what do you need now and I’ll figure out what I need so I learned to accept myself in all aspects but I’m a woman with a full spectrum of emotions that I’m not necessary dramatic but that I just feel a lot and that I’m very expressive in my trial I might scream about this just who I am and I love myself. I’m a bit crazy sometimes and so gradually that changed and also you know I always thought I wasn’t pretty and then I think the open relationship help me a lot of them because I think I saw two men and women came to me and they were like you’re pretty and I was like what are you talking about but then you know I’m also my hypothesis of I’m not pretty against the hypothesis of wrong maybe this is not the time then telling myself if I just entertain the idea that I’m wrong and I’m actually really cute you know that just playing with the idea I don’t believe in like I you cannot place anywhere you should change your thoughts it’s just not working but playing with the idea like what am I nice to you if I change this. I’m sorry for myself just as nice appears to be much more fun there and that encouraged me to change my on paradigms about some other things as well yeah life has got much worse I dropped the insecurity bit by Grant and I’m still dropping it bit by bit you know there’s still some fear is like one of the Spheres I have is like I fear being too much like being too emotional being to presence being too sexual or whatever it is that I think I’m still working on dropping them that he had this is definitely not going prices but still worth it yeah beautiful thank you so much yeah I feel that it’s it I feel the same way I feel like there’s like an inner voice of I’m too hideous to be in public that a lot of people been there myself and it’s it’s when people would contradict that I would think they were crazy in lying or something I bought it was your agenda what are you trying to get you know it takes time and really I like the way you’re talking about in just some almost like I feel like you’ve become the demon whisper if you just start to tickle those voices and get them to actually warm up in and out and it’s a c i can be such a dysmorphic they call you know what body dysmorphia isn’t right where you just you see you have a completely distorted perception and even to other people they don’t they don’t they’re not exaggerating the imperfections and in your the symmetry of your face or this whatever shape of your body and they just accept you and see you and feel you if you’re glowing that’s what they are attracted to a I feel like that’s why it’s taken well yeah definitely so as if we can get to get a little bit to inquire a bit into the de politics of this stuff looks a little bit so if you’re a parent now and you can you imagine that or what what was your sort of narrative that I mean I can I cook this is my synopsis of it I’m really curious to see what he would say bye but I still like the the agenda of the beauty miss machine of all of the magazines and TV shows and music videos and glamour you know machine the commercialized glamour machine if you will it’s it’s it’s preying upon diversity of peoples natural forms and diversity of every thought is a diversity or am I supposed to be the end of this is beauty medicine so that they said that to you other the storyline for love and all that and and so as a as a mother now having lived through that in and now you come out the other side with a glorious Redemption and salvation of becoming that and do what do you do and where what do you recommend about how to play like you said shift the Paradigm in and just make sure that that that that level of of isolation in sort of the private hell realm of being insecure and being not feeling really confident how are you how are you supporting that Paradigm now is a mother I’ve got three daughters so I got a lot of opportunities to work with that as there’s even more paradigms to well I’m I’m the kind of parent she doesn’t I did like to force any kind of Paradigm on my kids so I will not tell them to have an open relationship for example like I’m not telling them to not eat candy but I do tell them what sugar does to your system so that they can make a conscious Choice themselves what they want to eat and I had a beautiful conversation today with my nine-year-old my oldest daughter and her teacher was she was explaining to her teeth to her teacher that she loves it but this is what I do text her not once a red bell by teacher like we don’t eat so much candy. She’s not rebelling that she’s like what I know now I know what I can choose and I know that I can choose to eat candy because I know what it’s doing for me so this is what I want to do with them as well when it comes to anything you know I have sometimes one of my daughter she’s insecure about her teeth do you know where the little little a space between front teeth then I’ll just show him some videos of Madonna Like You know it’s just fine if you don’t like it we can fix it and that’s why I want to do it all show them what you said your pursuit of that so I love to go to a sauna or see you some nudist beach with them just to show them different bodies I’m turn me happy sign in my body and telling them about you how it works I’m not hiding anything from them but I’m also telling them you know to to have one relationship with the other friendships are the owner I’m just very I just want to support I’m not hiding anything and we talked about like we talked about things to the extent that they once because you know they’re still quite young and they don’t have strong Concepts yet about relationships or sexuality so I’ll just do their level and I’m just being very open and honest with them about why I choose to live this way and also I believe kids learn the most from examples or did I spend research that shows people learn most from examples so it’s really it’s my mission to live in the most amazing life myself to show my kids that this is what it’s supposed to Bubble so he’s also I’m also doing this like yeah I benefit because my life is pretty pretty damn amazing but also for my daughters to show them like you know you don’t have to fit in a pair of shorts that’s what you want but I’ll let that be your conscious choice but yeah this is this is what’s possible and this is my choice and you know whatever your choice is I’ll support you that’s awesome. That really is that’s amazing philosophy I hope everyone really adopts that to just it’s just feel like what I’m hearing you say you have this positive pressure energetic positive pressure to to to feel tip to not be miserable and to feel grading to do whatever it takes to find what makes you feel great so that you can be a role model of not just how to follow the rules and how to you know get a job and have a stable marriage or whatever it is that you’re supposed to do with yeah Mommy you’re doing everything according to the rules at the man set but you’re miserable so I don’t know if I want to listen to anything she said she like there is enough in my life to be insecure and certified and it’s it’s it’s really you know my lunch awesome it’s oh so pretty damn challenging and I’m choosing to be happy and I’m like the last week’s I’ve been telling people when they ask me how are you I’m saying retry out of myself and I like embracing a healthy sense of pride of being have even though life is so slippery challenging my time awesome awesome I agree Wilkes so if you don’t mind I would love to at this at this time Have you shared that letter and and really I think we found it I will have will have a bit of time to discuss that afterwards but if you’re okay with it I would love to have that I’m not be sure cuz it’s such a treat it’s called a letter to the women who sleep with my man and it goes like this very sister thank you thank you for opening your heart and opening your body for my beloved thank you for being vulnerable with same thank you for sharing Precious Moments in organic police with him thank you for enriching his life you can give him things I never can for the simple reason that you are not me you have a different flavor there are different things that excite you that make you tick that frighten you with that you had to another mirror to look into you can show him things about himself that I never can you have walked at the different paths than I did you have a different past with that you can teach you things I never can thank you thank you for being so brave and courageous to see him into receiving because you know of my existence I see you I see that it takes guts to take off your clothes for a man who has a woman who knows about you you didn’t run away instead you came closer you touch the skin I touched so many times before you kiss the lips I kissed so many times before you curled up in the arms I tried asking so many times before you’ve seen the body as I saw so many times before he’s Lovely isn’t he with all my heart I hope you enjoyed every moment you spend time will spend with him I hope he will enrich your life as you and Rich to I hope you shared you Bliss Beyond imagination there’s only one thing I asked a few see me don’t walk away when you meet me again I understand if you feel nervous about me and that you are not sure how to communicate with me you don’t have to know you see this path sometimes scares me Reckless there’s this little girl inside of me who’s afraid she will lose her beloved each time he is away it’s easy to see you as my enemy my competitor like women have done for such a long time but you’re my sister we have the same fears and we share the same longings I asked you to be vulnerable with me just give me a hug you don’t have to say a thing which is right man is so message that feels easier for you let’s not compete but mead invulnerability as equals we are sisters and we have something in common him I love you thank you I look so tough. Oh wow take a couple of breasts does it impact everybody this way after you got to bring a box of Kleenex down the street watching me like you know the real story of this one if this article says it’s really funny actually I wrote this I just wrote his on a day where I was like you know I have to write like I’ve got these urges to write things I just had the urge to write this time and in a wave of bliss feeling very Blissful about everything and connection to your sister and I really like this and I just put it away on my computer and then it was a Monday morning where I was like yeah let me just post something maybe I still have an article somewhere that I can put it online and I came across this one again I just posted it like this Monday morning just let me post something and it wasn’t in a few hours and it’s it’s it’s been a little while since I’ve I think about 3 years ago or something and it’s still impacting so many people and so many people sent me messages of five years and it’s been changing lives and people have used it to open up to me it’s unbelievable is incredible and I feel so grateful that the impact of this you know it’s not I don’t mind I don’t care that I was the right things I really don’t care about you basically but I’m so grateful for you know for the for the weight of this for your for the fact that people are thinking about relationships and I’m so so grateful that is touching hearts that even now like like you connect me with me and people connecting with me if I do believe in each message is message that I got each time someone gets Tears in their eyes it’s is bringing me tears into my eyes and I just feel super grateful for for being in this together because you know this would never resonate with so many people are we were not in something together so that’s that’s what I’m feeling very grateful about wow yeah they just keep on rolling on are you going to write a romance novel and that’s just that was just the the Prelude right if you got it and it’s been finished it’s about all of these things about my whole prices from being shy girl to where I am now and is still waiting for an editor as soon as I find an editor who can help me like putting it in real English because I’m still native speaking person I hope it will be out there soon yeah I hope I hope that way in Turkey. well I just got it I get it feel that it’s just that it brings up just I’m just feeling into all of the all of the shadow of competitive the shadow of Sisterhood which is just Relentless competitive competitive abusive emotional violence and in the debt it’s still I think it starts with a mink and correct me if I’m wrong but I say where it was very recently that somebody a female friend of mine is also a tantra instructor in and she is just doing the really difficult but really rewarding work I’ve actually building women’s groups and kind of goddess work together with women and and just been trying to figure out you know how to harmonize all these emotional torrents of energy and all of these conflicts of interest over man and and resources and popularity and who’s the the top Priestess and all these patterns and and then it is when the things she said to me that I had kind of overlooked as it kind of you know someone naive in this department is just that we get really rainbows and unicorns about Ya-Ya sisterhood is powerful and it’s the way you know it’s a really I believe it’s the way forward but then when a lot of women think about what sister had actually means that it’s torture and torment and Idris merciless ongoing years of the little man and understand like wow it’s because is it or I’ll ask you is it because siblings in a scarcity industrial culture you know who they’re competing for the scraps of attention that come from parents were totally distracted and probably not happy and so just that Cascades down and there’s just it’s a big is the heart of it all there’s just this the scarcity of love and attention and affection that makes people have to go feel like there’s never going to be enough so you have to fight for what little you might get from your father and that becomes your you know this this this scrap fighting over scraps is at does that seem like where this is all coming from that’s so challenging to overcome with with a delight of Sisterhood movie it doesn’t it doesn’t really resonate with me this one I think I do see this a lot I also work with women’s groups and what I see is that you can also look at the evolutionary perspective of it which also means that women had to compete for a 40 alpha males right so maybe card is genetic I can imagine it part of Steel genetic you know where where we think we’re very far and evolution I’m very well developed in all kinds of ways but you know we still have to do is start animalistic brain and nervous system and hormone system analyst. So I think that’s there and also we are raised in a culture that is very much fear based on his very much Basin and security you know if she look at women’s magazines and fairy tales and pup star is so you know there is just this image that we all know a very skinny women you know of this this beauty models Beauty Perfection and perfect perfect Beauty image that we have created which is basically impossible it’s just way more interesting for commercial right if we think we lack if we think we’re not perfect then we at least by all these beauty products so I think we are being raised with lots of insecurity lots of competition comes from there you know even when girls are small I can already see it happening with my girls and their friends and definitely when I get older in high school like I very clearly remember my high school experience why I was the outcast as I said before like I was taller so I was pleased with that likes to and Ike you know I’m I am a curvy woman and at all so still when I walk into a room or if my man is looking at someone who is shorter and skinnier I immediately thinks she’s better if all sense and then competition has already started you know then there’s no vulnerability so we need to break those walls down every time we need to break Chinese rules of fair these walls of thinking we’re unlovable all of these things and yes of course how we were raised but I think this is not related so much to women just women you know we are all race with an addiction for love you know how do you get someone addicted by giving him something and taking it away from them and this is an experience pretty much every one of us has you know when you’re doing something right as a kid our parents will be like yeah well done amazing and as soon as we don’t clean up our toys behind us or walk the wrong way they’ll be like not this is not great but they take away the love and approval we will try our best and as censor ourselves and change yourself to fit in a mother of a child that receives most loved oh yeah that’s right there and especially we have siblings who may get more love in our perspective then that will happen to all of us have opening in our lives like previous relationships or whatever it is that contribute to this the sister who and what I see is working it is to really see each other and it’s so so what I want to do with this with this article is not create this vulnerability if I see other women as a danger as possible possibilities that take away the love that I have in my life right now the source is that love then I’m in competition and I don’t see them as human beings so one of the things I do is when my beloved that has a lover that he sees my office I want to meet her because then I can see her and see for myself and it sounds weird but I can see for myself that she’s a human being and not some some Dark Cloud that somewhere there but an actual human being and then we can talk and I can share my vulnerability and one of my teachers he always says be a walking permission slip so I’ll be her permission slip to be vulnerable with me I’ll be about our boat and that is magical like I still have some of my best friends some of my best female friends are actually ex-lovers of ex-partners and those relationships have stopped long time ago and we’re still best friends just men men come and go but women who are raising children but most importantly you’ve got to have solidarity really and that’s that’s beautiful to thank Chad text to the you can meet some of your best friends through after the pastor that has been replaced chicks before dicks in one of my friends likes my friendship with her over any Explorations I would like to have with him so she would be uncomfortable for whatever kind of reason I want him because you know that this is more important in that case then I said it wrong to really see each other and to communicate about it and maybe electron it is possible to you to have some experience is such a really do that too if I have I have an encounter with a man who has a relationship I always ask if I can contact her like even if it’s just a message on Facebook or something but just to tell her like a stank you thank you for your courage is sharing your man and this is who I am and I had a wonderful experience I’m very grateful yeah I am very much keen on creating a Sisterhood Bond so it’s not just me having a experiences with some man but really you know it’s more than that like open relaxing and polyamory is more than just experiences with another person in for me in my TV. That’s awesome and I’ll say I’ll just put it a word out there for the men who whose knees are shaking and White Knuckles turning white hearing all this stuff I got to say that the the I would say the most the most satisfying and nourishing moments of my life has been in addition to or even equal to what’s a sexual gratification with more multiples with multiple lovers it’s actually witnessing the harmony of women really safe and comfortable with each other and dancing together and and sharing that Vaughn and then I really see what’s missing and what’s been crushed and taken away and that is such a beautiful thing to behold that is so mesmerizing to see that and and I see how powerful is and it makes sense why the patriarchy would be afraid of that and want to crush it but to give me to I swear I have a partner in the lover and they say hello to each other and they give each other well men’s hug that’s just bringing tears to my eyes are so beautiful it’s not just the women in the 6:30 ghosts always so beautiful and so and all it takes is are you ready are helping myself out so yeah do you want I will wrap up I guess you want to talk about a bit about more of your Professional Services and how people can connect with you and what to look forward to in addition to this novel the Earth at your book that you’re going to be working at least I got my blog on exploring deeper. Come there is there are quite a few articles about call me I’m worried and I’ll monogamy and courage and fear and emotions and intimacy and relation yeah basically I’m fascinated by Intimacy in a full spectrum of it so not just sex but also cuddles a kink contra III love all of that and what I do is I offer workshops and mostly in the Netherlands but I must have traveling and willing to travel so in other European countries and I think I might come to America for the first time this year so I also work shelves from evenings two weekends to retrieve I give intimacy coaching so online like this way we’re doing right now or in real life hands on their people can come to me and if we talked with Elsa touch yeah basically that’s what I do and I sometimes bring people that I find super interesting to the Netherlands to help them produce workshops here as well and anything that comes to mind so yeah it’s it’s also about non-monogamy sometimes I’m at places and I do a lecture or I tell my experiences and yeah and body to experience a lot of what I do is not just talkin but creating a space irina’s create safe spaces for exploration so I pray it works out for you can explore and see the imprint of searching my experience is so that you can take that back into your life and it’s not just hopping from worship to Workshop but really changing your life yeah yeah and it goes from me I do kinky things from these things Centric things and everything in-between that sounds wonderful and thank you thank you thank you so much for being the wonderful glorious person as you are and yeah I’m looking forward to that more of your travels and Adventures and and exploring deeper. Calm and that so people can connect with you and in follow-up and yes I have any last words you want to say any wisdom you want to share and then we’ll call it interview you can easily find me there on Facebook if you remember my name is Luka Sophie and you can easily find me also on Facebook and on that all the channels that we have nowadays yeah so I’d say I don’t believe in any Paradigm or fixed shape of anything whether it’s sexuality or relationship or intimacy whatever our parenting your flavor of it you know it’s your flavor and it’s so beautiful to have the courage to go in words in Words before going out but you can never connect with anyone else cheaper than you can connect with yourself so Having the courage to go in with you to talk during it’s not easy on easy but it’s so so worth it it’s so worth it and relationships are a wonderful field of exploration and so beautiful I’d I really encourage everyone to to find their own voice into find during slavery and also when you found it it might change though it’s not me find it might change every day and please give yourself permission so you change your mind to change your way of living that you know this is the life we Scott let’s just you know I enjoy it as much as we can and share as much as we can beautiful alright well thank you again so much we will definitely be in touch of literature you’re very welcome I very much enjoyed talking with you take care of a great evening thank you thank you for listening to the podcast please go to www.drudgereport.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and improving the podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples Pepper Bike ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email fan at Tasha Punk. Com Thomas Day

 

Tantrisms 01: Radically Transparent Pick-up Line

Being a tantrika, I’m always considering the trade-offs of getting romantically involved with friends and strangers.  Sometimes I’m surprised at how and when I feel appropriately motivated to “make a move”.

One night recently, I woke up in the middle of the night and was struck by a Buddhic insight right in my crown chakra. My preference for pure-ish hearted, trustworthy, hard working, creative, driven, focused, etc. women has disqualified almost every would-be suitor I’ve been tempted to pursue. I had been holding out on “making a move” on one of my most dearly respected qualified leads. This flash of insight guided me to make the move and formally invite a romance beyond the friend zone.

My training in tantra has emboldened me to be very direct and not play manipulative games to consciously or unconsciously corner or coerce someone into a love and/or sex trap.

So here was my text:

“Would you be interested/available for a fun-games-only, non exclusive, low maintenance, month-to-month, true love affair with me? If so say yes and I’ll reply with love poetry, if not say no and I’ll be happy to remain friends with the same pre-established non erotic benefit of beholding your beauty with my eyes and not my hands…”

She was flattered, expressed openness and interest, but respectfully declined due to being committed to a monogamous relationship.

I’m proud to have taken this calculated risk. It took nothing away and only added a new dimension of respect and adoration, and affirmed respect and understanding of boundaries.