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How to Love Like a God

Why Get Off When You Can Stay On and Get High?

Everyday we wake up with renewed sexual energy, and we’re driven by the need to do something with it. What does it want to do? It wants to connect with other consenting age-appropriate human beings in as free, open, loving, and wild a way possible. It wants to get us high, heal our bodies, blast us into hyperspace, take us for a trip across the astral plane, keep us peaceful, careful, loving, and kind, bind couples and communities together, drive procreation, and more.

Unfortunately the dominant culture has denied this energy, dammed its flow, and damned its spirit to hell. Virtually everyone in our culture is sexually dysfunctional, physically, mentally, and spiritually. The resulting sickness manifests subtly and overtly in all domains. Much of what is toxic, unsustainable, and harmful in modern civilization can be thought of as the physical manifestation of misdirected sexual energy. When we train our minds and bodies to embrace and cultivate this energy we can build more ethical economic systems, more sustainable infrastructure, and have more compassionate public policy and diplomacy. Instead of trashing the finite planet to build empires of ego, we can build palaces of transcendent pleasure in infinite spiritual realms, right from the comfort of our own bedrooms. Frustrated, angry sublimation can be transmuted to blissful flowing superlimation.

Here are some practical steps for men:

Self Love
Without self love, most people are love deficient, they have a hole that they’re trying to fill, rather than an overflowing abundance that they’re eager to share.

For most of my life I lived without self love. I didn’t think it could be cultivated from within, I thought I needed it to be imported from the outside. Through serious pain, heart-break, and study I learned how and why to self-love. From compliments to the mirror, to medibation (masturbation + meditation), to getting fit, to eating right, to educating myself, I learned to take an active interest in myself so that when I hear the song “Enjoy the Silence” by Depeche Mode, I sing “All I ever wanted, all I ever needed…” to myself, “here in my arms”…me! Without that glowing self love, where you stand tall, with good posture, happy for no reason, content, calm, peaceful, energetic, you can’t attract what you really want. Attraction is a factor of energy. You can be skinny and be unattractive if you’re spirit is faded and you don’t love yourself. Conversely, you can be large and be an electro-magnet because you love yourself and it excites and turns people on. It’s not a matter of how tight the skin is to the bones, it’s a matter of how tight the spirit is to the flesh. The spirit’s food is love, feed it everyday with a life-long romance with yourself, your body, your mind. Your spirit will stay with you and turn heads for you. Crouch like a pretzel in the corner, let your spirit fade, and dwell in the shadow of negative self talk, and self-conceived ugliness, and you will not attract anyone, or whoever you do attract will be of like-vibration, you’ll attract another pain-bodied self-hating energy vampire and you’ll perpetually make life hell for each other.

The simplest way I can put it is to use the cultural construct of the “dream man” or “dream woman”. At one point I said to myself, wait a minute, if I’m this toxic mess of deprivation and clingy, needy desire, and I want some angelic princess to come along and rescue me and make me happy, and be perfect, and never upset me, or change, well, only change to be exactly the way I want her of course…isn’t something missing from the picture? That’s an ugly picture, beauty and the beast! I realized that, the dream love I wanted was a two way street. I had to love myself just as much, I had to be my dream self, or at least know what that was and be working towards it. So I built the vision in my mind of my dream self, and without waiting for someone to rescue me, I went to work, broke out of my shell of self-pity and started to build the dream me. I’ll never be done, because as I grow I want to grow more, but as long as I’m growing, I’m not dying and the mirror gets more and more forgiving and loving. Not just because of physical work, but because of spiritual, intellectual, and emotional work.

In this heart-broken and self-esteem broken society, the mirror is your worst enemy but it can become your best friend no matter what anyone else says about your appearance. It can be a tool to develop a relationship with yourself, your first and only truly life-long relationship. You can go through a million partners, but you’ll always have to face yourself, sleep with yourself, argue with yourself, put up with yourself. The mirror can be a tool for building that abundance of love, from the inside out that you can share with the world.

Training/Practice
By training I mostly mean masturbation, or preferably medibation (masturbation + meditation). For men, if you’re not “getting laid” you better be staying in shape by masturbating not just to get off and get on with life, but rather to make love to yourself with similar time, focus, and attention, as you’d give to the act of love with a partner. Not only is it necessary to maintain “stamina” by mastering the art of riding the edge of climax and drawing the energy through the body with breath and self massage, but it’s necessary to keep your body lit up with erotic energy.

If you’re not in a partnership where sex is shared regularly, maintaining a healthy regular loving relationship with yourself keeps your wiring and gears from rusting and locking up.

Also the power to do sex magic is as potent (though perhaps not as powerful) alone as with a partner. Think about it, when stimulating yourself you’re raising all of this energy into and through your system, whatever thoughts/visions/ideas/desires are in your mind can and should be energized as well. Whether you need to psyche yourself out to remember the study questions for the mid-term, of you’re trying to manifest a new job, or a new lover, why waste the energy by just consuming porn or fantasizing about some cover-girl?

The Love of a Lover
I think you can have great sex with strangers, it’s not very safe, fulfilling, or sustainable, and it can’t get you as high as with a true lover. Developing love first is always a better way to go in my opinion because there can be trust, comfort, relaxation, safety and other ingredients listed below.

So here are few notes on the love of a lover. It’s actually easier to love oneself it seems because you’re in total control of your decisions (unless you’re dominated by addictive behavior, then you’re basically in a toxic relationship with yourself). In relationships, a tension builds over time around all the resentment over little things, the disagreements, power struggles, compromises, annoyances, etc. If that energy isn’t carefully managed and flushed properly, it can back up into the bedroom and toxify the sexual environment. Even worse, sex can be manipulated as a weapon to seek justice or revenge for problems in other domains of the relationship. It can be withheld, or faked, or just done without passion or spirit and be lame. Either partner can find ways to poison the sacred union both intentionally and unintentionally.

In my experience and study, there are a few key patterns in relationships that have to be carefully guarded against. And there are a few practices that have to be religiously maintained in order for healthy, ecstatic sex to be shared.

First I want to describe the typical love curve. For most couples, high states of ecstasy are easily achieved early on because the love is fresh, exciting, and new. There is heightened curiosity, passion, romance, and both partners are on their best behavior, they haven’t yet fought, their lives aren’t yet entangled, they haven’t had to work through issues or compromise on much. This “Cloud 9” high, is great, but it doesn’t last. It’s a true neuro-chemical drug-induced state that sooner or later you “come down” from and reality comes crashing back in. True mastery of love would be to know how to re-access these chemical states and actually enhance them over time as the relationship grows. The difference after the initial free high wares off, is that you have to give more energy and attention to sustain it, and consistently purify the relationship with fun, adventure, novelty, creativity, and most importantly, open hearted communication.

In our culture of instant gratification, cheap thrills, and no work ethic, most people stay perpetually stuck in the “thrill of the chase” stage where you play “the game” of building up a flirtatious and seductive fling. You’re getting high on the excitement of pursuit, there’s uncertainty and the possibility for failure which keeps you on your toes. You play the game and once you win, that is, once you actually hook up, have sex, and start hanging out, the excitement disappears. It becomes easy, mundane, expected, the chase is over, the thrill is gone. So what do you do, you trail off in communications, you stop being responsive, you fade away and begin again with another prey. Men and women do this all the time, usually leaving a broken-hearted victim.

It makes sense in a way because once that 2 week to 2 month easy high wears off, building a lasting love requires disciplined effort, and all of the ugliness of each person starts to creep out. It makes perfect sense, but it also keeps people in perpetual immaturity. Why do people get stuck in the addictive “chase” cycle, because they lack the patience and discipline to really apply themselves to build real love. The lack of true love, and shallowness of constant flings means ultimate lack of fulfillment and unhappiness, and often the inability to experience the highest states of ecstasy.

I’ve basically tried to establish this phenomenon of the love curve. We’re all some where along it. The goal I think should be to understand it, and find ways to healthily work through it so that it’s more evenly spaced. For example, in a long term relationship, when the initial spike drops, expect it, be aware of it, and don’t think that the love is dead, just know that like a garden, it will die if not properly maintained with TLC. So many couples are sexless for decades, then shell out thousands of dollars to therapists just so they can re-ignite that initial romantic passion. The next time you fall in love, keep a dairy together and take good notes on what felt the best so you’ll have a bread crumb trail to follow when times get tough.

Every person has certain stimuli that make them feel loved the most. It could be a word, a voice tonality, a touch, a place to visit, whatever it may be, the point is we need to know things like this about ourselves and our lovers, and we need to upkeep the practice of making one another feel loved. And we need to learn how to clear emotional space so that passion can be kept alive.

Again, like a garden, if you don’t properly bury the weeds and their seeds in sheet mulch, all the nutrients will be robbed and your crops will be grown over and buried alive. It’s easy to get lazy and let the weeds grow in relationships, so that you can’t even see what you originally planted. If you’re lucky it’s still there, but it’s going to be a hard job to clear it up and bring it into full production if you’ve let it go for a while. That’s why simple, steady, low-level maintenance is so important in love. Going back to the self love component, the more inner prep work you’ve done while alone, the less weeds will sprout in the garden of your love with a partner. With the right amount of preparation and maintenance you’ll be spending more time smelling each others flowers and tasting each others fruits than pulling each others weeds.

Just try to set the intention with yourself and your lover to keep a burning desire for each other alive, and make sure to have combustible chemistry always. It’s not easy, don’t blame yourself or your partner if it fades. The dropping off of the curve is natural, accept it and put effort into pushing it up to ever-higher levels! I great formula for sustaining healthy long-term relationships that I’ve learned and practiced is: daily affection, weekly date-nights, and monthly romantic adventures. I’ve added a couple bonuses: on demand 5-10 minute cuddle breaks and on demand spontaneous dance breaks.

Selectivity
Your sex partner should be someone with whom you share similar life goals. The more aligned your ambitions are the more stable and fruitful the relationship will be. Falling in lust and building a relationship without a foundation of purpose can often be a recipe for disaster. Co-creative synergy should be as important in selecting a mate as sexual chemistry and physical attractiveness.

Prayer and Intent
Before love making verbalize a shared intention, it could be to honor each other as divine beings, to deepen the love, or to achieve a specific outcome such as manifesting a promotion at work. Sacred sexuality involves sexualizing prayer and overcoming religious shame of carnal pleasure. Whatever names you use to call upon your God(s)/Goddess(es) of choice, addressing them in your love making ritual is essential. Many people exclaim “Oh My God” unconsciously throughout the act. In my experience, sexual energy is an amplifier of your prayers. If you want your prayers to make it to the top of the stack, state them clearly and believe fully that whatever request you make will be best received when packaged in a container of pure loving grace.

Time
This is very subjective and variable. But to be safe, my experience and study tells me that for intercourse itself, 30 minutes or more is the optimal range for the magic to really happen. There are so many energetic and chemical currents, some raging, some very subtle, but they’re all epic in their development. The more time they have to flow, the more merging of consciousness can occur so that you become one unified vessel of blissful consciousness able to soar through higher dimensions.

Sacred Set and Setting
Creating a magical altar, lighting candles, burning incense, playing music, wearing sensual clothing, etc. can anchor a sacred mindset and on a metaphysical level, serve to disinfect the environment. Ritualizing the build up to union creates an atmosphere where consciousness is focused, attention is undivided, and the body has the cues it needs for juices to flow and for arousal to occur gradually from a deeper level of being. You may choose to burn sage and call in by name whatever spiritual allies you are close to and command that all things that don’t serve the highest good be banished, be they negative emotions, energies, or entities. If this sounds too occult or hippie-ish, it’s easy enough to simply verbalize that you intend to create a field of pure love where nothing but the truth of bliss is welcome.

Bathing
Bathing is one of the most sensual activities you can share together. It’s always recommended from a sexual health and hygiene perspective, beyond that it effectively sets up the “take turns” approach to giving and receiving pleasure.

Physical Energy
Energy comes from proper eating habits, hydration, regular exercise, rest and the right attitude. Poor diet, dehydration, lack of movement, sleep deprivation and a negative attitude will rob you of energy. Huge meals before love making can obviously sap energy. Light meals at least a couple of our before love making is recommended and trays of fresh fruit, berries, nuts, chocolate, and other healthy sensual foods to snack on throughout a love making session are quite nice and help sustain energy levels.

Dance
Dancing is the art of making love before or without having sex. If you haven’t danced with someone, how can you trust them with your heart and your sexual health? Dancing is an essential part of maximizing the potential of foreplay. It’s what starts all of the engines in the charka system. It gets the blood flowing, detoxifies the lymph system, and gets you energetically prepared for long lasting, full bodied, transcendent orgasms. It also creates a field within which only blissful emotion can survive, it makes the past dissolve, and allows smiles to bubble to the surface uncontrollably.

You can roll on top of each other at midnight after you click off the TV, knowing you have to get up at 6:00am, and the love making will most likely leave much to be desired. A better approach would be to shut off the TV a couple hours earlier and pretend you and your lover are the TV stars, act out and role play your own script, be your own entertainment, and make it a dancing musical while you’re at it!

Relaxation with Massage
When people rush to sex, they’re not taking the time to shed the energetic tension of the day. Massage is an exquisite means to bring the body to a state of complete and total relaxation. If lovers gave each other even a five minute coconut oil massage before intercourse, they’d experience exponentially more pleasure and satisfaction.

Full Attention and Presence with Meditation
Meditation is the key to focusing your full attention and into the body and the present moment. It can be as simple as closing your eyes and focusing your attention on deep breaths. There are infinite ancient and modern techniques from all over the world. It’s best to try a variety and decide what works best for you and your partner. Whether you’re sitting still, stretching, or dancing, the goal should be to quiet the mind.

Breathing, and Conscious Energy Circulation
Breathing techniques are extremely important. There are all kinds that should be studied and experimented with. According to Tantric and Taoist traditions, the breath can be the most powerful tool to circulate energy. It’s critical that the men master breathing techniques so that the high voltage sexual energy can be drawn up from genitals and  circulate internally throughout the body, and externally when with a partner. There are many detailed diagrams of energy flow within an individual’s sexual energetic circuitry and the same for couples. I won’t describe these in detail here, but it’s enough to know that when shared sexual energy is built in a couple, it has to go somewhere. For many men who don’t consciously circulate their sexual energy with breathing, meditation, and visualization techniques, premature ejaculation is a lifelong curse.

If the energy is not consciously cycled within the individual or couple, it will get jammed in the genital area and eventually explode in the form of a fleeting orgasm. But when circulated, it can result in waves of multiple orgasm for both the female and the male, and thus push the couples unified consciousness into ever higher and deeper altered states of ecstasy.

Warning: breath and energy circulation techniques should be practiced only with the guidance master. Extremely powerful waves of energy can be released that require advanced methods of preparation to be able to safely endure.

Eye Gazing
Eye gazing, or sustained eye contact is one of the most intense forms of intimacy. It comes easily in the early stages of love and when practiced regularly during sex can play an important role in sustaining true love. Having sex in the dark or with eyes closed, or astray, allows the mind to wander. Consciousness can leave the moment, whether it’s to fantasize about someone else, or go over the shopping list, without eye contact, there’s no guarantee that quality attention is shared. It doesn’t have to be constant, but it should be regular, and it should be what starts the sexual session.

It’s not desirable to be fettered with all kinds of formal procedures, or to keep count of this or that, the point is to train in these things so that they become effortless and automatic. It’s just like martial arts, you train to learn the skill and eventually like magic the skill performs for you without arduous effort. Your consciousness is free to just be fully present in the experience as your body dances with the energy using the tools and techniques you taught it.

Basic Anatomy and Stimulation
Developing an understanding of female anatomy is so important. The dominant culture has trained men to believe that 100% of a woman’s pleasure is a direct result of his size when in fact the majority of erogenous tissue is in and around the clitoris. And only certain positions actually allow the penis to reach the G-Spot.

Sadly, porn cinematography favors the visually dramatic deep thrusting pattern which is typically the least pleasurable for the woman, and the most overstimulating for the man. The key is to balance the stimulation, so excitement builds steadily for both partners. Keep the thrusting pattern at a ratio that favors shallow over deep. This will protect you from overstimulation and keep her in a positive feedback loop of building anticipation and reward.

Another vital strategy to prevent premature ejaculation is to do what boxers do when they get exhausted. You know how they burrrow themselves into each other as though to hide from their opponents punches by limiting their range and velocity? Well you can achieve the same effect by thrusting all the way in and holding on tight with a bear hug so that the range of thrusting motion is limited and your stimulation is decreased. You’ll discover that being in deep for longer periods of time actually benefits your partner because she’ll be happy to grind on your public bone while you whimper and pant while regaining your strength for continued thrusting action.

Direct manual clitoral stimulation should not be done immediately, rather, slow caressing of the pelvic area should be gradually built up. Packed in the clitoris are as many nerves as the entire penis, and there’s a “circuit overload” phenomenon that can be quite uncomfortable and inhibit arousal.Direct manual clitoral stimulation should not be done immediately, rather, slow caressing of the pelvic area should be gradually built up. Packed in the clitoris are as many nerves as the entire penis, and there’s a “circuit overload” phenomenon that can be quite uncomfortable and inhibit arousal.

There is also the G-Spot, which is just behind the pubic bone in the inner vaginal wall. Insert one or two fingers and do the “come hither” motion to put pressure on the dense sponge-like tissue. Once you and your partner have located it with fingers and she can identify the sensation, experiment with various positions of intercourse and become more conscious of how to stimulate it with the penis.

The male anatomy is pretty self-explanatory, however most straight folk are unaware of the male G-Spot, which is the prostate. It’s about the size of a dried apricot and it can be stimulated from the outside by applying pressure between the testicles and the anus, or for the slightly more adventurous, from within via insertion of body parts/objects of your choice into the anus.

Everyone is different, everyone’s wiring is different; that is what’s fun about getting to know someone sexually. For someone to share with you what makes them unique and for them to train you to play them like a musical instrument can be a true joy.

I won’t go into detail about positions, oral techniques, thrusting patterns, etc. here, just study, experiment and keep in mind the principles of spontaneity and diversity.

Consider how when you put your clothes on, your body registers the sensation, but once it’s registered, it doesn’t keep sending you the same signals. There’s a trailing off of sensation once your body gets used to something so the changing of position, rate, depth, patterns, etc. often keeps the body guessing and the signals are more intense.

Climactic Equality
So how does the average American male understand his sexual energy and its application with a sex partner? Generally, like most things in patriarchal culture, it’s understood within a construct of goal oriented sports. Hence the metaphors, “Did you score?, “No, I only got to third base,”… Guys are culturally taught that the objective is to score, first by getting a woman in bed, second by performing athletically so that she reaches climax during or before his climax. No surprise that the locker-room wisdom for guys to keep from ejaculating prematurely is to “think of a sport where you haven’t shot the ball yet…”

The primary goal of simply having sex is far more rewarded and tallied in the locker room than the secondary goal which is to perform in a way the satisfies one’s partner. So although all men know they’re supposed to be able to “go all night long” most don’t bother to learn how. The average American married couple’s sex lasts for 3-5 minutes.

This tragedy is one of the main reasons why countless American women have never had an orgasm during intercourse, and if shamed away from masturbation, have never had an orgasm at all.

So what’s really going on here? There’s an orgasmic economy that’s very unequal. The untrained man is quickly overwhelmed by stimulation while his female partner is consistently underwhelmed. The man gets off and passes out leaving the woman teased and dissatisfied. This cycle repeats again and again until they cheat, divorce, or die.

Balancing sexual energy requires increasing duration and can be achieved with a variety of trained/practiced techniques and fundamental understandings.

For sexual union to bring both male and female partners into altered states of ecstasy, this balance has to be achieved.

Because of the physiological differences between women and men, it’s easy for a man to simply get aroused physically whereas a woman’s arousal originates from a deeper place physically and spiritually. It’s like building a camp fire, it has to be done according to certain principles. If you light a match and drop a log on it, it won’t burn, you have to take the time to make the perfect little nest of tinder, build a perfect cone of kindling, and in stages build up to a roaring fire.

The problem with most men is that we’re not aware of this because, it’s not required for us to climax. A minimum 30 minutes of intercourse is a lot to ask as many men can’t survive the intensity of stimulation more than a few minutes. Or if they can last for 30 minutes or longer, if their heart isn’t present, they’re not going to bring their partner to climax, hence the faked female orgasm.

Without becoming distracted or anxious by having a goal to perform perfectly, couples can work over time towards the ability to increase duration and heartful presence.

The real goal should be to focus full attention on your partner and the pleasure itself, it’s only with this full presence that the doors to higher dimensions open. However many men regularly project their attention elsewhere and thus never let their full energy, spirit, and consciousness fill up in the moment. That’s truly what builds female arousal, the physical aspect is secondary to this primary need.

With the understanding that in order to “satisfy” a woman, a man must last longer, what can he do? One way to visualize male physiology is to imagine a circuit breaker. When the circuit is overloaded it breaks and the lights go out. Ever plug in too many appliances at once, and everything shuts off and you’re standing there like a fool in the dark? Welcome to the bedrooms of millions of couples across America.

A man has to learn to distribute the high-voltage current throughout his whole body, this is the only way he can survive the intensity. First he must know that it’s possible to withhold ejaculation yet have multiple and continuous full body orgasms. Many men haven’t ever been introduced to this idea. In many cases, masturbation in adolescence was done quickly, secretly, and in a state of shallow rapid breathing under the stress and fear of being caught. That doesn’t set up a good neuro-physiological template for long, relaxed, sacred love making later in life.

Once the idea is learned, the art and science has to be studied, practiced, and mastered. There are many books, websites, videos, classes, etc. on ejaculation control, or as some people like to say ejaculation “choice”. Just Google multiple male orgasms, Taoist Sexual Kung Fu, and Tantric Cobra breath.

Another training technique that both men and women should do on a regular basis is kegel exercises where you repeatedly contract the “PC” (pubococcygeus) muscles on the pelvic floor in various intervals. They’re the same muscles used to stop the flow of urination. If you haven’t identified them, next time you urinate, do what you normally would to stop the flow and you’ve found them. When men regularly contract these muscles, they condition the ability to withhold ejaculation by contracting them as the urge to ejaculate arises. For women, the main application of conditioned PC muscles is to create more tightness and muscle control during intercourse.

Non-goal Orientation
Going back to the sports analogy, if the man is distracted and caught up just trying to make the woman climax, he’s not fully present, not fully being in the experience. If a woman is feeling anxiety because she wants to force herself to climax so she can make the man feel like he’s not a failure, and protect his fragile ego, she’s not fully present and enjoying the experience. Yes the climax of both partners is desirable, but as long as there’s mutual effort put in by both parties to develop the skills to have a general equality of climax over time, it won’t be the end of the world if the male either loses an erection, or prematurely ejaculates during one session. So the goal should be to not have a goal and to just feel as freely as possible, but to have done the homework to make disappointment the exception not the rule.

Have fun, be safe, be sacred. You are already a God, you just need to train and condition your sexual Godhood so that you can rise to the built in potential of your Goddess.

Sharing Kundalini Virginity TPP01

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ThisVID00057 is the first podcast episode, I thought it would be nice to share a recap discussion I had with the woman with whom I shared my kundalini virginity several years ago. We talk about experiencing the chakras, multiple orgasms, ecstatic trance dance, kundalini energy and more.

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Sharing Kundalini Virginity TPP01 Transcript

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Please note this is a machine generated transcript, as time and resources allow it will be revised and updated. Thanks for your patience and understanding!

Oh hello dear beloved’s this is the Tantra punk podcast thank you for joining me this is the first episode and I decided it would be fun to start with a old discussion I had with a one of my most beloved and dear true love partners when we both shared our Kundalini virginity with each other and had an amazing multi orgasmic evening together that was so mind-blowing we had to we had to make a an audio recording to archive how amazing it was so I’m sharing that with you hope you enjoy it I apologize for the sound quality of the original recording and I put in some sort of mellow mild loops in the background to help smooth that out so hope you enjoy it and I will be publishing more soon thank you not a stiff the intention was that I wanted to be able to know where we were together our relationship was together and where it was where it was going so I wanted to see a path of where we were going in the future whether that be to remain to be close and lovers or whether that was to be friends or two in at least a different different area option that we could have pursued and so you know I just wanted to kind of see a light and there was no wrong answer like everything was ok everything was welcomed I felt very open to what that would be so that was my intention just have a vision of what what was to happen for I snacks and I agreed and shared the intention we did a little bit of smudging with some sage and began the first tantric exercise the breast massage which involves slow gentle circular cupping kept circular motions with the giver sitting behind the receiver was the receiver Lang laying into them text and the goal is to saturate the role of the giver is to provide a very nurturing comforting like nest to fall into and two movies tension into and be fully comfortable to allow the best massage to open the shark the heart chakra and really begin just opening up the center of female stored energy and I just learned the other day which just seems obvious but it was well put that women hold a lot of energy on their heart and men hold water energy in the genitals and that can either be you know frustrated like heartbreak energy or frustrated sexually a blue ball sexual desire energy but I definite or could be what whatever whatever the state of that energy is definitely true that that’s how it seems to work so it makes sense that it’s important to do work to allow that to open up that energy let it flow through the experience and have make sure it’s like turned on and for the male that has to be so it’s not just short circuited with a immediate ejaculation upon minimal contact the stimulation has to be woken up and consciously circulated before or to really get it to flow properly so anyway the do you want describe how the yeah I was when we first started I think I felt slightly awkward in just a little bit because I I wasn’t I didn’t know what to expect as far as like my heart chakra opening up because i felt like it was kind of like a besides I’m really Gotham is like a rusty cage good felt I felt kind of I thought cobwebs all over the place and and you started and it actually it I mean it took some time I take some time but eventually it started to lighten up and I started filling this you know this green beam coming from um between my breasts and I felt like I started to feel like I was starting to recognize that it was clearing up and then there was a moment where I mean because we’ve been doing this for some time and you stopped and you said you would you like to set up now and I thought about it for a second and it was it felt premature and I told you that I was just um I felt like it was just starting to work so it was really neat to feel where where when you stopped where I could assess you know how I was feeling at that moment and compare it to where i was when i started and then and then we started again and I kind of you know was able to kind of like play with that a little bit to feel where the range was I could feel it like regress a little bit when you stop and then when you start it again it you know I started to be able to open up again and and just kept going with opening it up and then the next step led to it just continuously like for the rest of night it wasn’t even an issue to try to make sure that my heart chakra was up where my heart was open to you it was it was open for the rest of the night pull on so that was my experience with the technique wonderful uh I felt very fully present I never felt as prison ever my life like that really brought down the whole attention and awareness into the moment and to the into the body into our bodies in a shared energy field and that centering technique made me think about what I the work I have been doing with Rhoda and her Tantra glow meditation meetups that we were doing over the last over the several times over the last over the over the year I I got to participate in it was it was all clothed you know just totally not explicitly sexual activity of any kind just meditation and pluck employing certain dimensions of tantric disciplines like root locks and PC pumping and entered you know incorporating awareness of genital energy and circulating energy through breath and all that stuff and just you know as compared to normal yoga where you are yoga that doesn’t explicitly incorporate like that form of training and one of the things that we would do is she would instruct us to be in lotus position and began making tiny sort of imagine there being like a tip of a spoon at the base of our spine you know it’s a root chakra and imagine that we’re stirring our root chakra with this spoon as slowly as possible in circles and like you doing that definitely seemed to begin to activate the release of the Kundalini coil and the just that I think the real power that connects your size is it just gets the slower you me slow circles like really kind of act like a vortices to get your all of your attention to flow into the point of now and like you know to have to it’s like focusing on the breath but it’s even more requires more attention than just focusing on the breath if you’re making these perfect revolutions that are like Tang in each part of its tiny so I was just thinking about that as it’s doing it I wasn’t I was moving pretty slowly but just realizing that you’re basically creating like a funnel for your attention and it’s very good technique so that’s this Mike what I was focusing on thinking about what’s that the aspect of it and definitely feeling the it being effective at opening and so next we faced each other fully undressed and did the holding cupping the genitals crosswise and pressing against the heart listen up with the other hand crosswise and then having eye contact and breathing we kind of naturally synchronized our breaths ever kind of unconsciously effortlessly it was just sort of flow we were doing we were doing a bit of the curving of the spine as the breath comes up here now and that was as where I was starting to definitely feel like the snapping together and locking in if like the piping that was connecting our chakras and stuff like especially with the heart like I could feel I could feel when the connection was like not snapped right if it wasn’t enough pressure or wasn’t in the right place i could feel could feel how it was fading or flowing so i would miss brittany and we were pretty much from this exercise it was pretty neat evolved into goddess position intercourse very very slowly very incremental E and very unconsciously just the this the writhing together became ultimately this almost effortless Union I think if we would have been on a flatter surface it would have been it would have been as if our genitals like sort of squirmed into each other without our manual help but we do have to use something you could mean because the bedding is really soft so the alignment was someone constructed but uh it was I felt like a continuous energy flow the way that things were shaped was kind of like an infinity sign and so I actually with my mind just kind of I felt like I could grab on to a piece of energy and just follow the whole flow all the way through my body all the way through your body thought the whole thing about you know going going up and into my arm going down to you know up into my chest and down to my torso and you know back out through my hand and into your genitals and then you know having that go up through you and after your torso and coming out through your arm and into my genitals and like how he was continuous type of I could just trace this energy all the way through Sophie yeah a circuit and and that was a really that was a really great exchange and you’re right but you know and I didn’t have my hand in the right spot you you did a like you would adjust it for me or have it you know be where it was supposed to be and it’s just the amount of pressure and the way that we were breathing made everything even more harmonious and even more just everything just called so well you know that’s that’s how I felt about it and actually I mean then yes so there was the the cupping and but that was like with an intention of like note not necessarily we’re not you weren’t really trying to stimulate one another at that point you know it was just like you know without you no intentional stimulation and so it was mostly about energy work but then we took it to a different step which was with stimulation so there was like two different steps and that you know and so that was that was intensified and that was it was a great transition into into intercourse for sure yeah yeah I forgot about that we did the solo masturbation with eye contact and then mutual masturbation with eye contact and and then we we came together in got his position and it was I I’ve been theorizing that that’s really the way to do it because you know without fail and every

individual knows how to turn themselves on with their own hands like so getting getting turned on getting ready for penetration and all that like man’s getting ready by getting hard you know woman’s getting ready by getting wet there’s no I think because people are conditioned to think that masturbation is bad they they think that it’s only okay for general touch to happen during sex if I you know by the other person and if that’s if you’re left to that then really you’re kind of driving blind so you have a solo masturbation warm up is it was great and then and then trading making going from that directly into a mutual state like I could like I realized I’m like man my point of leverage in my point of like the electrical feedback loop of like touch to sensation is going to be such a fraction of what you’re able to do you know I mean like tough like Here I am reaching over kind of i don’t i don’t know where you left off it’s kind of like I don’t know what I don’t know exactly like what pattern you were in or what rhythm you’re in or like what what you would exact what is that points you had like work yourself up to and another thing I learned recently in a sort of tantric theory stuff is it for for a man there’s no there’s no difficulty in locating the like center of the orgasmic stimulation or the center of the stimulation scent but for a woman it’s kind of ambient so it always changes I visualize like one of those electric crystal ball things where you have to put your fingers down in different places every time those points are going to be different it’s going to be different constellation of an episode of a female orgasm that encompasses a percentage of like every orgasm could be like calculated to have X percentage of g-spot stimulation in a ratio to cut oral stimulation and ratio to heart chakra integration all the sort of different content whole constellation of activated points that are being stimulated in some pattern to a point of where the orgasmic flow state is reached or the peak state or whatever is another one and has so beginning to do the you know take over on her genitals with the masturbation was like I could sense that like wow this is Sun it’s probably really good that you’re starting out like lighting up as much of that apparatus as possible because you because you’re able to follow the the pathways and no and control where they’re at and everything so and it felt great to be a have your hand stimulating me and yeah it was I was like sort of fading in and out of states of hardness I didn’t have any anxiety about her thoughts about it it seemed like it was kind of dynamically flowing with the experience and not being an issue like not even being really necessary when the level of the level of living I felt like by that time our entire body surface areas were Rajan it sounds like that was probably the the most surprising and amazing overall experience throughout the night was just the absolute non genital focus of where the energy was flowing and how like just the rocking of our bodies together was creating this like ecstatic blissful like full body orgasmic state I think indefinitely in me and it was so fulfilling that like the genital stimulation I was almost thinking like I’m gonna I want to spend you know years working up to like heavy full erect thrusting in the state because this is already like enough I’m already like satiated with just this like flaccid connected rocking gives me this ability to hold really like strong lock muscular positions without fatigue and without lactic acid buildup if it’s there it’s not perceived I’m able to like hold these contorted sexual positions and with like all all of this superhuman strength and like resilience and the the position or movement and like that the tight flexing of all my muscles in this rocking position and making circular movements and stuff it yeah it was like a similar to the kind of overall activation of muscle tone during the power/lock procedure of withholding ejaculation and having multiple male orgasms by sipping up the energy even when we were in like the in the states of like maximum hard stimulation and during intercourse for me it still never I never got to or near the point and of inevitability because I was so fully distributing that that energy throughout my whole body like it had just had really I mean and again I could have pursued that if and I’m like excited to continue to do that but I I felt like I felt like a lot of joy and taking this process incrementally and gradually doing more and more and just by I just felt very natural just to be embracing with all this energy and embracing energy and rocking the energy leaving lots and lots of possibility for like really wild extreme stimulation to to unfold in yeah what do you think about my flaccid penis well initially look I think that we started off with which is important for me because I do feel very like lesbian tendencies like I feel very very bi gay queer you know I feel very clear that’s the best word to use for myself and so so when we started off it was you know very you know oral and manual stimulation so it was uh so there was this amazing time and that felt like hours of this type of let’s type of pleasure and um and I experienced some of the most amazing deep orgasms I I feel like I had maybe thirty five orgasms internally just maybe more I mean I could’ve I I felt like I was having an orgasm on like an incident vibration like on an infinite note or something and and it yeah that was that was amazing and then after that is when we started to have intercourse with our genitals and you’re absolutely right I mean every every part of my body at that point was so reciprocate look like that yes I Raja nice it was so sensual I could kiss you for hours and feel really amazing and in bliss and connected and sexual and orgasmic even just just like kissing i shouldnt suggest kissing I mean it was like it was amazing he’s kissing you know and so having genital contact at all yeah with a flaccid penis or not because it wasn’t like you were me you were soft all the whole time you were hard and you would go in and out would be soft sometimes and and it was um it didn’t matter at all um I could keep and we just we were in this rhythm where we just were we were in it together and this like orgasmic zone for five hours of being there and so yeah it didn’t it didn’t relieves the burdens it’s so important I realizing that doing this whole body slow build-up full stimulation it relieves if it make it makes me kind of just flash my head like if you’re a couple that does not do all this elaborate you know foundation building then the female is essentially only reliant on the the hardness of the penis and its ability to hopefully stimulate the inner g spot side of the wall because that’s you know like it’s like if that’s all you’re if that’s all you’re connected the only point of connection you really have like your hearts aren’t really connected like you’re not really doing much else with your hands maybe you’re kissing and stuff but I certainly connected like you’re not really doing much else with your hands maybe you’re kissing and stuff but like you’re you’re ever both of your consciousness is focused on just the interaction between the grinding of the I think mainly it’s it’s yeah yeah just said quote genital focus and that that orgasm race I don’t yeah like none of that it was as if I mean to me it was as if we didn’t even know what orgasms were and that we were just like coming together for the first time in our bodies like without any expectation about what would happen we just went follow these currents of energy and so yeah I became very de-emphasize like where the stimulation exactly was coming from we just followed wherever it felt like it was was meant to go and surreal release of anxiety for for typical masculinity to be able to them know that you’re being just as as stimulating through heart space and touch and caresses and you know that so going back to the the kind of language section I was very creating a realm of where all that exists is this this vaginal entity and this oral entity and it would you know synchronizing them and the fingers and the g-spot and felt like I was a create an entire cosmos out of any of any anything you want to look at it flower you know you know you’re the wall lifer whatever catches your fancy huh and really allows you to transcend the monkey my name is the ultimate it is I mean you know there’s so much debate and controversy in the psychedelic community and the spiritual yogic tradition community and Alan Watts talks about it and Timothy Leary and everybody know it’s like it’s not a short path to enlightenment it’s not it’s a very very difficult arduous like demanding you know technique for ecstasy and enlightenment and accessing the divine and whatnot but one thing it one thing it definitely does seem to do very easily is like allow you allow an individual to transcend the thought stream and the thought stream is what breaks up your concentration your focus on what you’re doing so that’s why people love rock climbing playing music writing or painting all these things you’re in that flow state and the monkey mind and the thought stream is sort of you like break out of that of the gravitational field of that mind that part of the mind and you’re able to orbit get in break through and just orbit effortlessly in in a freer mental space so that was that was great i was able to I mean I’ve do that I’ve when we were in our least energized and most mechanical date you know we live together I would be problem solving in my mind at during Colin Fennelly it seemed like okay I can I can multitask here all right cool so I see I’m going to solve this problem solve that problem and meanwhile mechanically yes and stimulating you and your you’re getting

candy sex is it because it was cold and I didn’t really understand at that point my evolution what wasn’t necessarily hundred percent fulfilling about that pregnant I do one more point about that being able to fully create and immerse myself into the cosmos if just that interaction of organs visualizing myself as having that that flicking fast speed of an insect like sucking nectar you know from flower I could be he or something like when you see them under you know microscopy you see them like super fast cameras they have now you see like this the speed at which their electrical unit like their apparatus is able to move and like the just this it’s like six so exquisitely program the way that they move in so I was just channeling that and flowing with that and like you know trying to be a beautiful be dragonfly kneeling exactly kind of lingus giver and I though I thought of the worst-hit be annoyed because it’s like I’ve always felt that the sybian was a you know nothing could be transcended the power of the sybian but I’ve had an experience with the sybian before and it was I mean it actually wasn’t I mean I I don’t know a lot of people a lot of women have disagreed with me but I didn’t I didn’t fully enjoy it I remember feeling like it was too like at you know I I don’t know oh jeez mechanical isn’t mechanically it’s a you know it’s machine I remember feeling um I I don’t I think it took me a long time to have an orgasm I think I felt kind of uncomfortable on it and I just yeah I wasn’t I wasn’t feeling it I mean eventually I did I mean I a sybian as a friend of mine but it’s not like my best friend you know and so so yeah but with with this experience and it transcended like any type of city and experience I’ve ever had and it was more of course a lot more intimate and because like I was such an a climactic buildup of like a sexuality sensuality every little tiny touch every little kiss every little the short like the shoulders on my body at the top of my head like everywhere where my normally not be such like an essential places to touch echo you touch a woman shoulders who they’re going to make her orgasm probably probably not but it but I was I was definitely there in that state where that was the case so having that that’s only something that could happen with the heart connection to me to bring up that what the reason i thought about is I thought about ok why why can’t a human penis or human mouth or human hand like compete with the sybian both of them run on electrical energy both of them have mechanical moving parts what what is it that makes the human fail and it’s like it’s it’s the mental blockage it’s the fatigue I was able to like focus energy focus on creating patterns and then just execute them almost infinitely like it I felt like I felt like I could have gone forever that was an important piece and then I guess maybe the next thing is i would like to mention the evolution of the music which felt very well i often find that i’m setting up a playlist before you know there seems to be some sort of guidance system and some sort of intelligence guidance that’s happening because i felt like it was very choreographed the unfolding experience who started out with the blade runner soundtrack which is super we started out with a couple of psy trance tunes wind and then then we began like the rituals really with them Blade Runner which is super ambient cyberpunk futuristic stuff which really brought us down into that kind of down tempo rhythm and then when we started to lose the time of a certain type to get into intercourse the theatre of Tragedy stuff came on which definitely gave us that rocking power cord thrusting action and and then I was very sitting so that the choreography light when we switch positions for the well forget the Kama Sutra name for it but it’s the my favorite position for my stimulation at my fruit but my physical or my my penile stimulation and my visual and sort of heart stimulation I like to be on I like for a woman to lay on her stomach and for me to be on her back and I can I can stand up on my on my arms to see my favorite part of the body the booty much as I want and I can lay back down and have our bodies be like fully connected from head to toe and also the just the mechanics of the interaction between the penis and vagina at that angle is conducive to maximum g-spot stimulation and it’s just and deeper more full penetration and so I was loving that and then it went into my favorite psychedelic death metal band from the early 90s which is the band cynic which is all about transcendent all their songs are about hindu philosophy and stuff and they’ve got a synth work going on I was definitely really feeling the the that magical just infinite they have amazing album cover to this is beautiful like dragon dragon fly sort of cosmic being and I was definitely feeling that the hyperspace just a massive infinite design and beauty of like being and the music and the sex and the out of body flow stayed with these beautiful forms I felt like we were sort of dancing in this ocean of these you know kind of for me the visual is like this a dense ocean of dragonflies mixed with jelly fishes or something and as my friends like to see ya and did they say about the given it from the vine damn that was an ossifer it lasted for a very long time I had a lot of internal orgasms and then I had one clitoral orgasm and usually after I have a plural or I chasm I’m unlike I need a break like I need a little no I need some time to kind of regroup from that very rarely do i keep going I had no problem with keeping on going after that at all I was just it was just this constant rhythm the music was important like the music I felt like it was a master ceremony using and there is like this yeah this guiding force of how our energy was going to be exchanged between another and um yeah that was also quite lovely shooting box an eternity and just flying around soaring through hyperspace together just wonderful yeah it’s definitely come like that movie The Lawnmower Man where they show like the blissful part of their union was great I definitely was traumatized by the the more predatory park which was indicated by the asshole from the military experiment switching the formulas so that Joe would have the evil aggressor Dominator monkey alpha male thing going on but I know whoever whoever designed that and as Terrence always says the fucking the pure programmers of the fucking freaks with hair down her asshole has acid head hippies it built built all that stuff so whoever whoever made that movie really I think had some sense of what it’s like to be and that was hyperspace that they were depicting there you know in cyberspace here picking hyperspace so there’s a lot of that yeah cosmic oceans fluttering and then lots the music the way cynics music is it’s like so filled with like these vistas you know you get the music takes you to the peak of a mountain and shows you like the plan view of this valley and it takes you under water and takes you the clouds and stuff like that psy-trance is very well designed to do that as well so yeah I was myself my it was yeah it was the quality of a continuous like flow state of orgasm it was and I had them have been working on this in doing this I pretty much stopped ejaculating I’ve stopped having a desire to ejaculate like when I masturbate I masturbate and just hold it’s a power lot you know and just plateau and plateau and plateau and it seemed to all be pointing towards this this experience you know like it I kind of feel like I’ve been in training you know for and I have been very very isolated in my practice and feel like it’s this has been like my black belt I wasn’t pursuing heavy genital stimulation for myself I was we’re just trying to work with and if and when in that position i was able to i was absolutely very hard little time and very strong and full all that and put totally not victim too oh my god I have to stop moving every second i was able to just continuously move four fucking hours it seemed like without any concept of time without any without any anxiety or fear or desperation about becoming over stimulated and ejaculating and all that like it was the most liberation from that and that’s what I’ve experienced in sex every every single time I’ve ever had sex it’s like holding back the pleasure because it’s just going to blow your circuit and this allowed that to be totally transcended yeah it was great and I i should say to that this whole since i’ve been getting into this stuff since I beginning into a tantra and like you know I I was like I want to I want to achieve something it was not to push my limits and see how much stimulation I could handle and like really myself become the I wanted to give I wanted to get you I route I wanted to focus all my energy on really your your pleasure in their stimulation so that I could know that it was possible for you to have work achieve like orgasmic flow States achieve satiation spiritually energetically and I think he felt the same like didn’t feel the need to like go through another 50 positions or whatever and totally could have just didn’t seem necessary and seemed like we have other work to do and that’s about when it the music loop back to the beginning and the beside trance came on again and that led to our getting up and hugging it down to subside chance for a couple hours which is like that was ultimate fulfillment for me because I felt like I knew I feel like man I’m not gonna be able to share this love of this experience I know the songs really well so for me the energetic choreography was like already fully there so I got to be the lead the dance and ride the emotional cocktail the emotional pharmacy that was timed with the music

and some songs were really joyous and blissful and freeing just loving and some of them were getting into the darker intensity of the struggle and the mission and like I definitely used the opportunity to put us together in two different configurations that were going to maximize the bonding the bonding and feeling of those energies and also we saw that I introduce you to my vision that I had last time which was like seeing myself in the wall and this like kind of headrest shamanic otherworldly state with my attention focusing at a point in the middle of the room sort of and I sat you down once you could see that that where I was and see the focal point of my attention in that friend that figure on the wall i SAT you down and yelled you down to the position that I had seen you in the vision last time that’s where you appeared to me and all of the room conspired to create this focal point of view being right there so magically you know and I actually played the song that was playing during that time I went I said I want to play our song and this was the song that evoke you in that vision so I played it and you were in position and then totally unconsciously I wasn’t thinking of doing this at all but unconsciously I felt my hand vibrate with this great thick powerful energy and start to move in like helix type spirals up the up your spine and I was like all right this is it this is the Kundalini energy for surely and I have it in my hands like I’m sculpting it and writing it and bringing it up the spine and of course the heart and then we continue to dance with it and bring it up higher into higher chakras and to come together into long states of bonding yeah and then we hit we after after that some really intense energy work there we just continued to really have fun dancing and listening to a few more songs and its really thrilled to just be able to just be blissful and dancing and dancing through the night for couple hours and then put back on some mellow music laid down and crashed out and just remain glowing when you know I was I was kneeling on the floor and and then cuenta de Valle he said dude do you see me over there and I looked and he was right he was right there and you know I saw his face into the wall and so I yes yes I see you and he’s it okay well he started like even really saying he actually put his hands on me and I could feel where he was like one hand was on one side of my torso and when hand is on my back side and and I could just kind of feel his energy coming through me and um and he was kind of living my body around and it was like I’m my body knew exactly how to respond there was like this amazing dance between him and I energy of yeah rising up a Kundalini feeling just feeling a slow learning type of like amazing bumping um swaying rhythmic kind of motions going gone to help my energy raised up enough and it was it was really beautiful experience and what was really neat about it was that I felt like how almost like professional like oven that’s all right it’s kind of like you know professional ice skaters are you know um you know just like you know there was like this kind of like or playing a piano like playing piano like you know play I play that instrument it was like knowing the notes exactly by heart it was um you know it was just the sort of like playing off on another’s bodies where we knew exactly what how to move and what to do and that was what was really fascinating to me not having a moment of hesitation or questioning but just really kind of like bumping off of each other and in that way yeah and so yeah I ended up really um enjoy myself with the music um and you know I I felt like I just held back for a bit but then towards the end of the two hours i was definitely dancing to trance music hello I was dancing to try and see Zach I I’ve never really done that for um you know I felt good about that and maybe it’ll make me look at it like trance music a little different from here on but I’m not really sure I guess I’ll of the wait and see but but I feel pretty good about her right now I don’t yeah yeah it was yeah it was really good we really needed that we should be fucking keep it and so much of our relationship when we live together was like this total misalignment of energy like we were able to to really where we really flow together in sober sex and drunk sex and sleepy sex and you know we have this potential to really sink up and to really be one or I think we achieve that to a great degree like in our in our sexual practice and are just holding each other sleeping together eating together being very close and very compatible but often in daily life we had a lot of friction and a lot of inability to flow together and to be one to absorb the impact of like the fucking random crazy shit that happens out in the world and to flow with it together and I think I hope that this experience helps us maintain that dynamic flowing alignment that so often breaks us apart and puts us into our separate minds and our separate egos when we’re encountering you know the hustle and bustle so I think this will definitely nourish and energize the chakras and give us the strength to carry on and keep fighting for what we’re fighting for and magically manifest in our was full abundant eco Punk farming future