Tag Archives: mental health

Mindfulness, Nature Immersion, and The Pacific Crest Trail with Jessica Moon TPP241

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Jessica Moon In a Boat Smiling

In this episode I’m joined by Jessica Moon for a conversation on mindfulness, nature immersion, and hiking the Pacific Crest Trail for 5 MONTHS!

About Jessica:

Jessica Moon is a Stress Management Coach who focuses on Mindfulness and Nature Immersion as vehicles for powerful healing and evolution. From many years in corporate America to hiking the Pacific Crest Trail, Jessica has a broad range of life experiences that has provided her the insight to guide and transform in her one on one coaching practice. She is an advocate for mental health awareness and diversity in the outdoors, and active in building her local community.

Instagram: @jessicamoonco

My (non verbatim) notes:

TP: Jessica Moon, old dear friend, along the ride of tantra punk journey since very beginning around 2013, was shocked to find that name hadn’t already been turned into some sort of persona online, hopefully I’ve done my best

she’s way beyond a supportive friend, an inspiration, somebody who’s kept me on a very ethical and conscious path, has given me lots of great feedback

talk about her path, eco psychology, forest bathing, many ways to look at benefits of spending time in nature, deep personal journeys of long distance hiking

extra bonus, you might recognize her silky voice as the voice of the outro on all of my episodes, does a wonderful job of doing the wrap up details, its a treasure to have that mystery voice be on the podcast

JM: working on getting people outdoors, help people see benefits of being immersed in nature, millennials , anyone can benefit, remove barriers to help people really benefit

start when I younger and in college I was a sexual health peer mentor for my university, worked with my peers to educate them on health topics, disseminated health and hygiene products through the outreach center, help become more empowered

after graduated, joined nature center, help plan ecological programs and events, natural conservation for the city, got to work with variety of people

it was a very beautiful experience to be intimately connected with these people, very active motivated hikers, some people who’d never spent time even at a park

really wanted to help people have a more enjoyable, more intimate experience with natural world

then got into corporate world, for about 5 years, it was good to learn a lot of skills, but definitely aching, stress, heaviness of not having that immersion that I used to have

caught up in career, societies idea of success, lost connection with self, deep connection with natural world

year, decided to hike pacific crest trail, had been training, reconnecting with mountains, beaches, when I took the leap, and left for the trail, such a transformation from being immersed in the wilderness, back country for 5 months, feel completely at peace now that I’ve had that experience, affirmed, not everybody can take that much time off their life

but any amount of time is so beneficial, now that I’m back, into the science, philosophy, how to get more nature time into our busy lives, liberating motivating

TP: want to get into the drama of this whole arch of preparing, doing some permaculture the other day, mentioning we were gonna talk about this, the PCT, how do people survive, you can’t bring a semi truck water tank that drives behind you, what are the amenities on the trail, he said people will send selves care packages, I don’t really have a clue

JM: the resupply logistics, first, instead of one really long trip, think of as series of 3 to 5 day, sometimes more than 7 days depending on snow, how quick you hike, generally 3 to 5 days, given that , hiker hunger, metabolism working so hard, never felt hunger like that before, if you think about it as you’re going town to town, long series of small backpacking trips, you can self packages ahead of time, my strategy was I resupplied in town, if you’re lucky, supermarkets, sometimes just gas station, generally you know, or if you didn’t ask around, anticipate that, if you go get into a town with a big grocery store, buy food, ship it forward, only did for really small towns, didn’t want to eat pop tarts and snicker bars, backpacking food, if you don’t go really expensive route, has a lot more nutrients compared to options like instant ramen, after a while, can’t eat this any more, try to mix it up, hit up bulks, blessing to find bulk section, keeping an open mind, would have been hard if I had any dietary restrictions if I was vegan or gluten intolerant, I would have done more sending myself ahead of time, its really not that much cheaper or convenient to send yourself the boxes ahead of time, you’re tastes change

you don’t have a car, last thing you want to do is walk more

TP: from prepper survivalist world, lot of people in fantasy land, vision of how their gonna be so fit, prowess, bad ass, when zombie apocalypse happens, but they’re not conditioning in the mean time, but the experience of doing this endurance drill, makes me think everything has to be so tightly economized, efficiency, variables to consider, you’re probably better prepared for anything to go wrong, then people who make a whole life style out of being a prepper, tripping me out

could you tell me about some of the sort of dietary life hacks that you came up with, as some one doing this frugally, out of necessity, on a budget, how to have healthy food and not junk food

JM: does take a toll, body type can’t just eat anything, when I was on trail, I was like omg I can eat chips and candy, I really felt terrible, I really need to take care of myself, I was like okay I really need to change the trajectory of my nutrition, took a lot of supplements, glucosamine , multivitamin, try to pick up juice shakes, I needed that because when you’re on the trail, you have to consider weight right, weight expense and convenience

for example, you can get tuna packets, just a staple for hikers, thing about them, not terribly expensive, but not cheap either, on cost, in the circle of the through hikers, most people agree it’s about $1000 a month, on a tighter budget its possible to hike less, you’re gonna be spending less time in town, if you’re a social person its a fun part of the experience to explore the town

if you’re on a tight budget its definitely possible to do the hike on less, buy the food in bulk previously

dehydrating food at home and sending forward, people get sick of the same food, but you can spend a lot more on the trail as well, stay in hotel, one bed vs 6 hikers, or alcohol, or deserts, depends on person, average person not super luxurious is about $1000, barrier to entry is not accessible to everybody, it is a big trip, felt very privileged that I had opportunity

TP: bullet points, staple macro nutrients, can feel you on the weight and price, on that path as urban survivalist, trying to figure out what my pallet will enjoy and what my guts will handle, I could have the most Bourgeoisie, organic fresh catered diet to the maximum degree of what I know is the ideal, but if I did that I wouldn’t be able to do anything else, joke about “whole paycheck”

but I do believe in my heart of hearts that there are life hacker ways to have extreme frugality, but have extreme nourishment, bulk, group buys, I’m curious for you, fats, proteins, carbohydrates in that framework, stuff you could tolerate the longest, didn’t make you sick, sweet spot of weight and cost, ramen doesn’t cut it

JM: biggest thing for me, that I bough dehydrated vegetables, basically a soup mix, in bulk, just add it to everything, find the vegetables that you like, if you have a dehydrator, I would say incorporating vegetables into your diet no matter what, can eat dried meat, jerky, bison bars, sausage, tuna or chicken pouches, but if you just have that, you’re lacking that balance,

really enjoyed dried, pre prepared beans, really not that expensive, compared to bison bar, or higher end nut butters, just dried beans, make sure they’ve been dehydrated as cooked beans, they’re like bean flakes, if you’re vegan or something, or if body can’t tolerate fat anymore, its really high fat out there, powered humus also an option

sunflower seeds are really cheap

also drink powders, couldn’t handle the sugar, protein powders keep you full

cheeses work really well, lactose intolerant, but a popular lunch was a flour tortilla, summer sausage, and hard cheese

things like spam, powdered eggs, dehydrated milk, I really enjoyed dried veggies, dried fruits

chilli mangos was a treat, new technologies for much lighter, dehydrated and freeze dried veggies and fruits

really liked raw stuff, everything was so dry, and processed, but things like nutritional yeast, everything but the bagel package, sauce packets, miso soup, chicken noodle soup, powdered taco mix

lots of sodium and preservatives, but they’re light, cheap, last a long time, if in a pinch they have something to offer

I just bit the bullet and got green juices, or super food mixes whenever I could afford it

avoid ramen, so many other things available, entire bagels, last for a few days, instant rice and potatoes, always a staple, nan flat bread, corn tortillas don’t last very well, whole slices of bread, couscous was really popular

you have you’re good old trail mix, mixing it up and making it different, you really start to despise it

TP: shifting into more paleo and keto trend if you will, and so I’ve been experimenting a lot with build seeds, grinding into a more palettable form, powdered tahini, from bulk sesame seeds, grinding down to pumpkin seeds, mixing with coconut oil, like bread and butter, get that experience but it’s low carb, more protein, then having that fat, thinking about weight factor

were people bringing tubs of coconut oil or was it just too much weight, olive oil or other oils, calorie dense but you can’t eat that that much of it

JM: lots of oil, add a scoop of coconut oil to your meal, delicious, add more calories, seen people carrying full glass bottle of hot sauce, to spice things up, seen someone carry a glass jar of coconut oil

when for lighter right

went for single use coconut packets, a light way to incorporate into meals, trying to avoid highly processed carbs, I don’t make me feel that great

nuts, sunflower seeds, chia hemp and flax seeds also in my diet

they’re just delicious

TP: sprouting seeds and recycling water?

JM: read about a woman who sprouted just in a tupperware, poked holes, put a piece of cheese cloth, had fresh greens all week

broccolli, peas, lentils, alfalfa, also there was a time where there was a bunch of rain, miners lettuce foraging in oregon, what if I just threw some of that in to my ramen

TP: what level of foraging is legal/desirable, plant ID nerds, not gonna survive 100% but hope they wouldn’t be too restrictive about that kind of stuff

JM: I really can’t say, if we’re allowed to, it’s a protected trail, but in oregon you have to have a permit to forage for wild mushrooms, also, I definitely eat the huckleberries on the trail that were everywhere, just so many

TP: some things are invasive too, its a benefit

JM: thank you these giant berries we’re going into the trail

if I had a little more confidence in local flora and fauna, know for sure you can’t hunt, if it was permissible I’d totally lead a group, let’s get launch, wild mustard, miners lettuce, local invasive plants, didn’t have personal experience foraging, other than the berries

TP: people not yet in romance with nature yet, remember when I didn’t feel a romance with nature, grew up playing in woods, at the beach, wasn’t a deep yearning to connect with something I’d never known, didn’t feel deprived, took it for granted, video games started to eat my childhood, I don’t want to say disenchanted, I can commiserate with the people who feel like they feel more excitement from video games, socializing, hipster strips, when go out to nature I’m bored, cynical earlier in life, then rekindled romance through gardening, seeking healing, would love to have you in your words, help people feel into the shifts and transformation and deep soul tissue healing that’s happening, if you could romanticize the journey

JM: I think just to start it off, if you’re not in love, or find yourself bored, but you’re stressed out, want to work on health, nurture it better, just like to share, some of the research that is, where we are right now with nature immersion is where yoga was, in terms of more mainstream, widespread, growing body of research combined with intuitive understanding, tipping point, health researchers, government, very progressive, bring nature to people’s every day lives, it can lower stress hormone levels, reduce nervous system arousal, enhance immune system function, decrease anxiety, improve mood, help with aggression, accelerate healing

highly stimulated in this world now, if you want to try, give it a chance, big study, 20k people, people who spent 2 hours a week in green spaces, parks, neighborhood with a ton of trees, just hanging out and removing yourself from urban environment, traffic, noise, any kind of natural environment, either all at once or spaced out, like taking 10 minutes on launch break, fresh air, giving self space

attention restoration theory, allows brain to restore, allows cognition, your brain giving it space and time to relax, when you go back to desk or work, cognition levels are much better

little things like that, if you’re not someone who gets super excited, its such an easy thing, give yourself 10 minutes, 2 hours a week spread out, try it

when we make something important, our health, mental health, emotional states, spiritual states, at very least, relax and think, relax and not think, taking time to do that, make it important, have that connection with natural space it will begin to show itself to you

a friend that is not trying to tell you what to do with your life, or unsolicited advice, they’re just there, allow you to work through whatever you’re going through

natural world all of the patterns that exist in that space are things that as humans we’ve evolved with, all very familiar

one quote I really love, from scientist who was a pioneer for forest bathing Japan, “we are visually fluent in the patterns of the natural world, because we evolved in the scenery of the natural world we can process its patterns easily, it is this fluency that relaxes us”

TP: stress less, talk to the nature painting, talk to the landscape

JM: with my own business, researching so much, why isn’t this more popular, why isn’t this more well known

allow attention to restore our brains, to chill out, thinking tests better, in New York, some crazy busy place, even just looking at pictures of nature, videos, listening, put on headphones listen to nature sounds

all of that is beneficial, so it’s like why not

not the most stimulating, in terms of instant gratification, but if you make your health, mental health, emotional state, a priority, 10 minutes a day for you to level up

TP: PSA for gamers, as of just very recently Santa Cruz has joined Oakland, decriminalize entheogenic plants and fungi, the whole suite of plant derived entheogens, still federally highly regulated, but just like cannabis, this movement is growing very fast, #decriminalizenature, I feel like for me what shift was the romance with nature 10xed when I started to integrate dancing in the garden with psychedelics, because all of that dopamine you’d get from slaying dragons in a video game world, you’ll be that thrilled just watching the flow of nature, and being a part of it, and doing your own shadow work, and having nature spirits help you with that

don’t want impose that narrative on our work

JM: hemp will save the world environmentally

TP: what are some of the more cinematic moments

JM: very very beautiful views are conducive of these type of moments, knowing that when you’re looking out on this beautiful landscape, mountain peaks, feel very small, but very connected, look out and see all these pieces of me, subatomic particles, everything is me, and I am it, really grounding type of experience to have, look out, wow all the issues I’m struggling with or limiting factors, or negative head space, all that just dissipates, because you put things into perspective, look into the night sky, see the stars, and you just, sense of awe, and admiration, and deep respect, when you are just so connected, just in tune

TP: I feel that, live for those vistas, any times where equipment failed, or got soaked, freezing, suffer through a night, moments of triumph

JM: I would say nature is cruel but powerful mistress, so like, in the same way that it will guide me into this revelation about absolute awe adoration, at the same time I’ve been cold, and hungry, and so defeated, but I think those are the moments when we’re struggling, going through change, extreme internal conflict due to weather and terrain, you’re able to grow, I have so much respect for nature, those experiences teach you how to tap into your grit, drive is more important than intrinsic motivation, which is fleeting, tap into own tenacity, hardship

when things are gravy at home, stressed out from work or life, but physically when you are drenched, no placed to put your tent, or snow, post holing thigh deep, on side of mountain gotta get off but sun is setting

even just being out there and pushing yourself is honestly the best way to make a transformation, quickest and most impactful way

meditation is very powerful and important, but holy moly I just did that, very immediate evolution when you experience that kind of physical challenge

just think about it, anytime you get pummeled in the ocean, I respect you so much, I will not through trash in you, I’m just a naked human, a flesh bag

TP: break up, death of loved own, quitting smoking or drinking, seems like any kind of major shift or transition even if its just a week, sounds like you’re a great person to be an evangelist for this, and it’s not a pill that you just take and pay big pharma to have you on a pill for the rest of your life, hopefully get off anti-depressants, I can feel that

we’ll have you back to talk more about your business, thought about doing meet ups, I was just exposed to night hiking, maybe we’ll be looking forward to what you have to offer, more than welcome to promote

JM: for now, instagram up, jessicamoonco on instagram, hoping to launch officially next month if you are stressed out, want some mindfullness guidance and encouragement to get out doors, definitely check me out, jessicamoon.co forthcoming

TP: heart ached when you told me you were in a corporate career, didn’t hear the exhuberance in your voice when you told me about it, glad it served you well for business administration, training for solopreneur, blessings to everyone who thrives in that environment, having known you at the peak of your youthful enthusiasm for exploration and breaking rules and being a rebel, I’m so thrilled to know that everything is coming full circle for you.

I had similar story of it being incongruent with spirit/soul being in a cubicle, but knowing when I was in corporate environment I was mining the experience so I wouldn’t just be a broke ass hippy, I’d know how to take a penny and make two pennies with out

JM: thank you so much for having me, thank you so much for your attention and hope we can get out doors, level up, hope you have a beautiful week

TP: been a treasure and blessing, much love to you and all your beloveds

Exploring the Politics of Crypto and Psychedelics with Mike Kokal TPP224

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Mike Kokal Pic

In this episode I’m joined by Mike Kokal of the End of the Road podcast. He interviewed me a while back, click here to listen. I’ve been a fan of his podcast ever since and have been thoroughly enjoying his diverse and holistic array of guests and content. I invited him on the podcast to talk about his approach to modern trends of crypto and psychdelics as a lawyer. He offered a lot of important insight into how the system works and how we can improve and transcend its current form.  He shares a holistic and balanced perspective on a wide range of controversial issues. I was grateful for his help to refine some of my hopes and visions for the future.

About Mike:

Mike Kokal is the host of the End of the Road Podcast which showcases an eclectic mix of guests working with ordinary and non-ordinary states of consciousness in the finite playground we all find ourselves in: “The Horizons we strive to touch but are already there.”

Mike is also practices civil litigation and is a patent attorney. His professional bio can be found at: https://secure.heylroyster.com/attorneys/details.cfm?attorneyID=90

The End of the Road Podcast, which is nearing 100 episodes, can be found here are wherever you listen to podcasts: https://endoftheroad.libsyn.com/

Exploring the Lifestyle of a Phone Sex Artist with Sensual Sharon Somers TPP217

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Sharon Somers Pic

In this episode I’m joined by Sensual Sharon Somers for a fun and exciting exploration of the lifestyle of a phone sex artist. We learn about how the industry works, what it takes to make it, what to expect, how she’s been able to make it for years as a small business woman, the freedom and efficiency of home business operations, how she compassionately entertains and soothes the bizarre and often wounded sexual psyches of countless men, the patterns she’s observed, the broader ramifications for a more sexually healthy and expressed society, and much much more!

About Sharon :

Sharon has been a phone sex operator, recording artist and writer for adult websites for 11 years now. Her voice is well known online for the recordings of hundreds of erotic short stories she has done that are posted on her own sites and on erotic short stories sites.

https://erotictalkphonesex.com/index.html

https://eroticaudiorecordings.com/

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello Debra Levin podcast episode summaries who is a phone sex artist extraordinaire that’s all kinds of erotic audio and I reached out to The Exodus Community on the forms of extras. Net to see if there are any folks out there would like to do some self promotion and increase I had you keep folks on this podcast and had a few people step up and want to be on the show and then she’s one of them and I’m excited to share this beautiful wild Amazing adult industry with her and learn about 11 years I believe career in doing phone sex and an erotic audio media and I’m also in that game so I always love to meet other people who are doing doing that work and share that talk shopping and learn about some of the tricks of the trade so with that said Sharon do you want to tell us about it whatever detail is appropriate to come ask your true identity and to allow you to have your stage name but just curious if you could tell the story of Sharon Summers if it’s not totally your personal thank you very much for having me first of all being like a lot of ladies in the business unfortunately I got into it because of financial desperation granted that’s not the reason all women get into it but a lot do it, the last chance type of job for some people so I found myself doing that but I I found out pretty quickly that it actually fit perfectly in with my life I wanted something where I can work from home have the freedom of hours to login logout whenever I wanted if I need to go out for the day have a dentist appointment or want to go to the theater to see a matinee I don’t have anybody’s permission I can just log out and go and I love that kind of Freedom it it really just fits in with my nature so I started doing that and then very quickly after getting into the phone sex work I started doing the erotic audios and so clients will submit their stories that they’ve written about their fantasies and I will narrate them for them and they have those to enjoy and listen to over and over and over I mean want to call is over it’s over I don’t record calls or anything help clients don’t either but when they have an erotic audio they can just listen to that anytime they want that’s actually surprised me how many have said oh yes I do he’s a few times a week and I’m like wow you’re really getting your money’s worth out of those and I started doing writing for adult websites I had always written short stories for my own enjoyment before I ever got into anything at all. I’ve been writing short stories ever since I was a teenager and so I wrote a lot of the material for the earlier adios that I did before I mainly started doing one’s the clients submitted their work to me to narrate and so there was an owner of a phone sex company that was interested in posting some of my audio is on his his phone sex site from her clients that we’re waiting for collars and what not and so he said did you write these then I suggest and he said would you be interested in writing some blogs promoting my phone sex websites and I said of course I’ve never done it before but I’m willing to try so I’ve been writing for various phone sex websites for over 10 years on a weekly basis another operators as well because not all ladies enjoy the writing that they don’t have an aptitude for it and some companies actually will require the lady to submit a couple of written works a week because it helps a site with their search engine optimization Drive clients to the side against them higher up in the Google rankings and whatnot so they need somebody to write all this content and ladies that don’t like to write themselves will find somebody like me and I will write it for them then they pay me to do it so I do that in addition to the phone and the erotic audio said I do it’s so fascinating I just feel like we could be on Shark Tank or something right now or some other kind of really found your Niche and you it sounds like this is a calling for you and there’s so many layers of opportunity in ecosystem of feel like you are like pitching to Angel Investors and you’ve got a business plan you’ve got all these things kind of dialed in and and yeah just there should be a training program because it sounds like a dream life really isn’t it built the business unfortunately or fortunately for the veterans like me it has an extremely high turnover of women that we’ll try it some will only last a few hours some will last a few days so I’m a few weeks it’s not that common to find women that have been in it for the long haul like me and yet I know a couple of other ladies that have been doing it for 20 years 35 years have really been in the game from way before the internet even when it was just people working out of little Pocono call centers and whatnot I’ve always worked at home but when it started out before the internet people were working in these call centers I can’t even imagine doing a job like this then I call center it would be crazy but I know some of them have got this experience but a lot of girls that will try it they can’t deal with it they can’t deal with the needs and wants of some of these callers cuz they can be pretty unusual to have the kind waste so they will they’re just their socks off day they can’t do it so it has a very very high turnover of women that do it what do you think it takes to be one of the long-term success. I love to know what what you feel like Nikki. The power well I can only speak for myself I don’t know what motivates other people I think for the ones that really find out quickly that it fits in well with the lifestyle that they want to work from home have the flexibility of ours what have you they make it work and that was the boat that I’m in I never went to college I had never worked from the time I finish high school until I got into this I had only ever looked after my grandmother from the time I finish high school so when you’re here for a number of years you’ve never worked a day in your life your options are kind of limited on the flea and easy I certainly didn’t want to have to go back to school I hated school it just that was not what I wanted I mean who exactly is going to hire somebody that has zero experience you know what are your options McDonald’s or Wal-Mart really and I definitely we knew I did not want to do that so I told myself from day one failure was not an option that I had to make this work and I have made it work there certainly ladies that are a lot more successful profitable than I am but I get by I get by just fine and it just it fits perfectly so I knew that I had to make it work and it definitely helped that I do the audio is in the writing because that supplements my income there’s some lady said they only do calls there’s lots of them that don’t do any audio at all most certainly don’t do any writing so I’m very glad that I have those other things that I do and I do non-adult voice work as well not a lot the majority of the voice works that I do is adult in nature but I still have several companies that I do small jobs for for PBX phone systems where you know you’re doing Prince one for accounting press two for human resources guy do stuff like that as well as those I have several of these small little jobs of months I mean they’re just tiny little things but I always figured no matter how small the job is like that even if this company is only paying me $10 a month that’s $10 I otherwise would not have it all adds to the pot at the end of the month that’s how I look at it so yeah you know sometimes I’ll get 20 of reading some months from a company other time so only be a couple but they all out outfits how you have to look at it and you never know somebody that you’ve worked for they make it some kind of a lead for you of somebody else that wants somebody to do something like this and they’ll recommend you so there’s all kinds of different things by I love the voice over work I do the most boring job I ever had for voice-over was I had to take the series of audios on english-as-a-second-language oh my God that was just torture it really was a job get through it it was just the most boring tedious thing but I’m not there to be entertained I’m there to narrate their script I realized that I’m not there to have a great time so you just get through the work and and that’s it and I’m grateful for all these little voice over jobs that come my way adults or vanilla weather brings up a good point which is that anybody who has or whatever reason the occasion to even dabble in anything they don’t industry it’s going to give you a lot of life skills and negotiation skills communication skills business personal finance all kinds of even even legal sometimes contract writing and reading skills and so I looked that you’ve been able to Branch out and just sounds like you’re living the dream of the freelancer who’s actually been able to make it and then I never have to work for the man in a way that makes you feel like you’re stuck in a cubicle 95 or something him at school, she’s like you don’t know how lucky you’ve got it I wouldn’t say I’ve living the dream you know talking to guys and every day and night about their 2 inch penis as I don’t know where that would be considered living the dream but whenever it talking to the grates on my nerves and I can’t listen to one more of them complain about how they have a 2 inch penis or some other bizarre problem I have I just keep telling myself these people you know your bread and butter people that I’ve told the first thing that they will say is all you’re so lucky to be able to work from home that is one thing that everybody says one of the first things when I when I tell people that I do that they’re they’re jealous they want to be able to work from home and they can’t and some of them I got long commutes and I mean I love live theater I go to Toronto several times a year to go see shows and lots of times I’ll be sitting on the train I go on the commuter train in the morning and these poor people there like slave helicopter laptops own and everything doing their work on the way to work and sometimes they’ll tell me oh yeah I take the train for an hour there and an hour back or there was one way to deceive in 2 hours each way I thought what kind of life is that to be commuting one to two hours each way I wouldn’t do that for anyting you know my commutes for four feet from the bed to the chair her basically I just can’t imagine people having to commute like that in their whole lives are wrapped up in this is like dark when they leave the house dark by the time they get home that’s not a life for me so I’m very very grateful I can work at home awesome yeah well I actually had they said I’ve done been this work quite a number of hours myself and I said some of the best money I’ve ever made and you always get those repeat clients and they just kind of stuck in a loop of like a broken record of the fantasy and I just want to pump you full of the money like your pinball machine or something really interesting you bring up the point about that the man with small penises and you feel like you have developed weather maybe it’s inmates you or make you feel like you’ve been able to be in some sensor a priestess of spiritual healer something some way of therapists in the sense that you’re helping people move make some progress in their their fantasy lives there and their body image of king of size issues that you get that fine that the people can rely on you for some of that type of nutrient your healing energy when I was in school so this job has fulfilled a lot of fat but it’s funny that you say about Sin all the different pant suits I remember when I started I was so worried thinking how am I going to think of a difference little scenario to spend for these guys every single time they call Will it quickly became apparent that I’d say about 90% of collars when they call they basically want the same call over again and I thought so many times for it to be so much easier if you just recorded it and replayed it because it’s almost like to know the letter to be exact sense of what they want you to say they there’s very few that actually seek a lot of variety in their fantasies most of them want to go through the exact same fantasy every single time so it’s like you can do those calls with those types of collars practically on autopilot because you know exactly what they want once you’ve done it a few times you know you have the script basically in your head and it’s funny the way that some of them just want the same thing over and over and over and I’ve had some clients for the whole 11 years and there’s still the same way it’s like every time they call they want to talk about the exact same thing so it’s kind of amusing to me honestly that there that predictable write it that I’ve had the same experience and I suppose if it’s something that doesn’t seem really self abusive or harmful then I’ll go along with it and and humor them and everything but I can’t I send it that’s them in some direction of of transcendence of of something if it’s really troubling to them a really sort of negative in some sense that but she also can’t be judgmental right so so you can you without holding anybody specifically or any specific can use talk about some of the general patterns beyond the obligatory small penis calls and maybe even talking about that it’s like what are some of these patterns that you’ve observed over that many years of what what what what’s going on inside of the mind of you lose man you know we don’t know how much, babe what what percentage of the population they really really really represent you know if statistically but but it’s great to be great to hear from you sound like what some of the the patterns are people can relate the lives of others definitely patterns that emerge once you talk to some of these people and totally different guys that have nothing to do with one another and they basically have the same fantasies the small penis humiliation calls it that’s one of my most popular calls that I get I get more of those practically than any other type of call and the pattern does quickly present itself you know this poor guy Mother Nature has shortchanged him there’s nothing he can do no matter how much money he’s willing to spend no matter what kind of surgeries he’s willing to endear there’s not really much that he can do he’s got a small dick and he’s always going to have a small deck and it is so ingrained in their minds that women are going to reject them make fun of them mock them other men are going to belittle them that I swear if these men had their greatest prayer answered and they woke up the next day with an 8 inch penis they wouldn’t know what the hell to do with it because it is so part of their psyche that they are small and inadequate to please a woman they wouldn’t know what to do with it they really wouldn’t they would be very uncomfortable there’s been several of these guys that I’ve said well why don’t you just go to an escort and they’re not going to reject you as long as you’ve got money they’re not going to reject you and they get so uncomfortable when I said that that they will do everything but a dance to get away from you know me saying that so I tried not even bother saying it anymore because it’s just falling on deaf ears they don’t really want to go to any woman that is going to accept them because that is foreign that is uncomfortable and that is unfamiliar and they don’t want it and if they did go to some escort that would take them no matter how small their dick is they would be probably as limp as a dish Rag and not able to do anything because they’re on foreign territory they’re only used two women laughing at them in or telling their girlfriends and making fun of them it’s it’s so so part of their nature now, but that’s all they’ve known their whole lives they don’t want anybody to accept them and and I said especially with a guy that’s just slightly undersized if he says I’m 5 in the North American average erect so I’m like well as small but it’s workable it’s not worth rejecting somebody over and they they don’t want to hear this they do not want to hear acceptance on any level they’re like oh no know if it’s under a tin they’re to be reasoned with they just want to be mocked and made fun of but that pattern very quickly comes out especially with those ones that group more than any other there’s there’s definite patterns guys into spanking fetishes were usually caught by mom masturbating and spank him with the punishment and even though mom may have been dead for the last 30 years they’re still beating off thinking of getting you know spanked when they were a kid for getting caught that pattern quickly came out to that that one’s very predictable if a guy has a spanking fetish the chances are he was spanked as punishment well yeah this is I would have to I would have to be honest and say I’m not a trained psychotherapist your psychoanalyst or anything but are you acting sad devil is an armchair philosopher at least of all things psychological and I think a lot of people into it the the earliest erotic experiences 10 to do the most hard wiring for the rest of your life and it’s very very interesting to see what that serve cocktail of experiences and things going on internally the chemistry and and how that sort of gels into something that creates that that template that people get stuck with running so they have you had the experience of actually seeing anyone find any well even anyone that has a desire to say hey I’ve got this recurring fantasy that I can’t break free of but I want to and can you help me kind of work through some material and gets to the point of sending me some people might say freedom from it or just having some something to even compare it to cuz if that’s all they know then they don’t even know the outside of that that Fishbowl could be my friend there was one color that comes to mind when you say that if somebody to have a fetish that they really did want to break free from he had actually gone to a psychiatrist he was so upset by it and he wanted to stop it but he couldn’t and the topic that I absolutely hate and I hate when guys ever call I usually just tell him to call somebody else he was an adult baby and these guys put diapers on and they they wet their pants and and go to the bathroom in the midst of disgusting and this guy was so upset that he enjoyed doing this he said I come home after work I put on my diaper I sit on the floor and I know I rub my cock and then I go to the bathroom in my diaper oh my God it’s just disgusting so he he was he was crying on the phone he was sober Afton upset about this and he’s like I’ve actually gone to a psychiatrist because I just don’t know what to do to stop and he’s like well the psychiatrist told me I’m not hurting anybody yes it may be kind of icky but at the end of the day I’m not hurting anybody nobody knows about it it’s not affecting anybody’s life so I’m just probably going to have to live with this attraction to this fetish and carry it out it will and I thought well the psychiatrist is right he’s not hurting anybody but it is pretty gross but I guess there’s worse things that people could be doing but I really don’t enjoy collars that wants to talk about God cuz I I have a strong X Factor about that topic but there’s people doing all kinds of weird and believe me you really don’t want to know what your coworkers are friends or neighbors or anybody is doing behind closed doors they tell me what they do behind closed doors and I’m horrified it at a lot of the stuff they tell me and nobody in their life knows about it they keep it a secret and I just get it’s amazing how they unload all this stuff and I can understand they can’t tell their wives because she kicked them out they can’t tell their friends because they would never be looked at the same so they and they wouldn’t have the nerve to tell a psychiatrist you know looking face-to-face with them these things so they find girls like me to share these desires with that they can’t tell anybody else and in a way to great honor that they are literally telling me their deepest darkest thoughts especially when there a personal client where I take their credit card information and I know their real name I know their address I know I know all this personal information so it’s even more flattering that they’re entrusting me with this deeply personal information and giving me all this trust you know what some company where they call and they can say their name is John Smith and you have no idea who they really are that is as Anonymous As It Gets I have no way of knowing when they’re calling a company like that but when it’s a direct dial type of call like I have on my own line and a couple of other lines that I work at you do have their real information and I always think you know you’re lucky I’m an honest person if you ever got some lady that decided to go Rogue and blackmail you you could be in for a whole lot of embarrassment at some of the things that they tell you but that one with the adult baby fetish he definitely really wanted to stop that but he just for whatever reason wasn’t able to stop but he just was addicted to it and some guys are addicted that is the word I would use to some of their fetishes and they know that it’s not healthy they know that is not say some of the activities that they’re engaging in and it’s like a drug they just can’t stop themselves when I think some of these guys are telling me the Craigslist personals was closed down a few years ago it was like the end of the world for a lot of the faithful to call me believe me because it was such a huge part of their sex life they would be going on these personal than having random sex with strangers and some guys say oh yeah I met this guy on the Craigslist personals and I met him in the back of his van and Home Depot parking lot good way to meet a serial killer the risks that some of these people are taking to satisfy their sexual desires if it’s honestly quite horrifying sometimes yeah I’m with you on that I would say one of the one of the creepiest scenario that I have to encounter so far in my career doing phone sex on the side is that this thing I didn’t even know it existed but he had the kind of invite me to it he had to basically prep me and you kind of give me the script ahead of time a verbally so that I would know what scenario he wanted to be kind of dropped into and in and it was the whole bug chasing thing of you heard of that already dealt with it and I mustn’t there with you on this Theodore baby thing I just want to get to 314 because Freud was all about that sexuality is actually anyting in the body that could be described as pleasurable in that begins with weather in anal repulsive or whatever that is so people just get attached to maybe don’t grow up acceptors all theories to about your whole personality being shaped by how long you’re bursting experience was whether he was a C-section or whether there was fecal matter that you were exposed to the process of blood that can determine so many things is really shaping everything that is there’s a it’s quite a bit by bit material but I honestly think that the way you’re describing is it’s like the entire Orthodox world of academic psychology and sociology if if they’re not getting PhD in this field basically studying what you’re talkin about then they have no clue because like you’re saying most people do not talk about this stuff in any other don’t then with their trusted phone sex are they all squeaky clean but I really liked on the niteflirt I remember once on the nightfort website they had kind of like a an intro little animated video clip and it’s just the kind of promote obviously the platform and kind of explain how it works what not but there was like an intro beginning to it where it showed a bus stop like a cartoon bus stop I’m just a couple of random dudes and whoever and MMA put out thought Bubbles and it was a little cartoon characters of the fantasy that they’re all thinking of separately at the bus stop and it was like all the quintessential Kink BDSM archetypes in leather and you know bondage and whatever else but it’s just like the idea that is really what’s going on if you see if we’re honest you know you could be in any crowding and everybody sort of having these thoughts for them yeah do you think that I guess you I’m curious how you would describe the sort of spectrum of you seems to be people who some people would say they don’t have anything other than vanilla you know really team like missionary romantic style pharmacies in made in that could be totally true but then there’s a whole group of people who are may be in denial or they’re fighting to suppress more homosexual or more violent or just whatever types of Tennessee’s and they may never experience it or talk about it or even like play with it much in their Fantasy Life interest people who are open and out and experiencing it in the Kink community and then there’s people who seem to be kind of release Kirsten stuck in their own world where their stuff is just running their lives and they can’t they don’t have really a healthy weight it to express that I’m just wondering if you were to just have to take a guess at the general population would save America are like helps what what ratio do you think if there is a people in different you can kind of take it however you like this what would be your if you were the Surgeon General of America and you had to be issued a report talking about the state of American fetishism and she is it we’re looking at him or you say well I don’t know about exact percentages and obviously it would be different for ladies than it is for men I do occasionally get a lady, but I get so few I can’t generalize with them as much as I can with the men because of the sheer lack of volume of women for me that I talk to but for men I would say I would say well over 70% have some kind of a you know a real king I do get ones that are just vanilla and they only want the most basic you know sex oral just very very vanilla and that’s fine I’m happy they’re very easy there’s nothing growth and talking to those guys but there’s ones that are so far off the map and I do not even cater to the more extreme ones I if if somebody’s wanting to talk about something really bad and I just don’t do it and tell him to find somebody else but some there’s definitely a lot that have a kink there is there really is and they just they can’t share it with anybody so over 70% of got some weird little fantasy and that I guess weirdness is subjective isn’t it I hear so much weirdness that may be what I would consider practically normal somebody that the civilian not in the adult industry would think oh my God that’s so weird I like her own doesn’t seem weird so I think we’re nothing normalness is all very subjective you can’t really say well the percentage of weird this percentage is kinky but there’s so many it it really surprises me how many guys that call that want to be with another guy that’s one of the top fantasy Sig I have the guys have as well as they want to talk or you don’t have a guy fuck something I’m I was shocked at that when I first started in the business that it was that widespread I mean it’s a very high percentage of collars and it’s also very high percentage of callers that are wearing ladies underwear and I never expected that I had no idea there were so many men that were wearing ladies panties under their clothes it seems pretty high from the number of guys to tell me that so those two things really stand out that are way more common than people would think yeah it’s it’s so it’s so sad in its to me and said that it’s the culture of the dominant culture so repressive it’s not just allowed to to be in body in your feminine aspect you’re coming inside in a more outspoken Republic Manor in and stole that idea that you have to hide it under your clothes and you can’t just be like hey we got Casual Friday what’s up family and Tuesday and see all kinds of measurable issues in society but you know it’s also makes me think about how the whole notion of the private citizen right to privacy and then the public officers and officials in in politicians and whatnot it’s expected that that well within reason everything that they’re all of their interest all of their past all of anything that can be dug up about their life history is fair game to scrutinize and I don’t know maybe and certainly in in more queer friendly districts like West Hollywood or the Castro I’m sure that it’s actually a selling point to your dear constituents to be a letter or something but for most of the rest of the country you would not be elected or you will be impeached her or else it is or whatever asked to resign if it were to come out that any of that any of the things you described in in in or just anything that would be considered an aberration from that vanilla whatever you would see anything beyond that would get you in deep trouble socially and politically and yet all those people who have that power they’re the ones going to the Doms and even some of the most twisted like yeah if people had any idea who exactly people would be surprised who was calling there was a chief of police that used to call me and I thought if your chief of police would you not buy a Visa gift card and just tell me your name is John Smith rather than give me your real name and your real credit card. That was the first thought in my head and he actually send me a picture of himself for his uniform and I thought are you insane do you realize the amount of embarrassment if I went rogue that I could cause you your whole Precinct to be laughing your ass off that one is one of the top ones that sticks in my mind thinking why would you be broadcasting and all I never would have known that you were you sending me pictures of yourself and you before that one really I thought was amazing it was another guy that was a district attorney in a major city and he was telling me this and I thought wow I could really cause you embarrassment if I wasn’t a trustworthy honest person and yet they’re telling you they’re real David at all this information I got all my God this is just wild it really was and there was even this very low-level celebrity oh my God I never heard of this guy but I looked up his name and I quickly found its website and mainly does direct-to-video stuff that most people wouldn’t know who it is anyway and what he wanted to talk about was so horrific that I wouldn’t do it and I don’t have a lot of limits are a lot of taboos but I have some and he was Way Beyond my limits and I thought wow buddy if your fans ever had any idea what you were into you know that they’d be with torches on your lawn I was so horrified at what this guy wanted to talk about and I thought in this is a celebrity and even though I had never heard of him somebody that had co-starred in a movie with him I certainly did know who it was cuz I watch her on a spa for all the time and I thought wow I’m sure she has no idea what her co-star is into and it just these these people to have any kind of level of being well-known and either their field of work or their Community you would think that protecting their anonymity would be of utmost importance but they really don’t seem to care so it says It’s amazing so I don’t follow Sports in anyway and he told me that he was he was wanting racial humiliation he was a black guy and I get a fair number of racial humiliation calls as well that’s one way specials it’s and he had found my website and saw that I offered this in and so he was telling me all about this so you know it was a small table wasn’t anything spectacular but I just thought wow you know if somebody follows Sports they would probably heard of this guy and here he’s calling and paying me good money to call him one racial slur after another it just says listen to me I can actually it really is so they aren’t worried about their identities or anything well yeah they make this public service announcement this is now the 21st century and there’s something called cryptocurrency and there’s ways to use VMware Anonymous step handrails and also to encrypt messages and I’m at the point now where I’m kind of going off of the Rails a bit branching out from the the platforms that take a huge cut of your earnings to provide that sort of thing at least that degree of separation with your identity and you’re just letting me within the last I’d say year 2 years has the encryption encrypted messaging app ecosystem really matured and made them user-friendly now is user-friendly enough and intuitive enough for people used on a mass scale and the Snowden Revelations have helped to accelerate the mass adoption and the development development impetus for peer-to-peer in Crypt open source technology platforms that are accessible by apps on a smartphone and then also now there’s so many different ways to do cryptocurrencies and now a stablecoin cryptocurrencies where you don’t expose people to the volatility of price fluctuation that’s a mouthful but I’m wondering if you have are you it’s apps to Tabitha like you say there’s a lot of risk and even if you did your best to not reach or allowed to be reached any of that data that you have some level of responsibility over as you conduct your business to know it’s an interesting opportunity now to to Really Leverage The Power of encrypted promises encrypting free speech of of words and of money that smell possible for people still just curious if you looked into any of that I know it’s kind of where I’m blinded I don’t even own the self to keep private insecure Issa does not use anything with high-tech and then you’ll be fine by myself I have my laptop and my corded landline so sore throat is this a cell phone because I don’t leave home that often so if I’m at the dentist or the hardware store for an hour or two I think I can afford to be out of touch with anybody for that short of a Time if it’s that important it can wait till I get back home and I’ll be able to talk to him then but I would never be doing calls out and about and I know some girls do I’ve read posts of girls doing in the aisles at Walmart and the grocery store it and I think how could you do that but hey if that’s how they want to run things that’s their business but I would not do that I wish I would not want to be doing that I was outside of my home and possibly have somebody over here me and you never know how long a collar is going to beat you. Weather is going to be 3 minutes or 3 hours you have no idea so it’s just not practical to me I would not do that so if somebody calls me I am on a corded landline in my house that’s the only place I’m ever going to be when they call but yeah all that Tech stuff is so it’s sort of a Escapes Me well if you ever have clients that want to you know I want to have you if you feel like a doll just put it out there to you I can be your your text liaison in a department is trying to be at least at least on the curb if not ahead of the curve but but certainly not is as up to speed as I can because yeah there’s a kind of feel like there’s a lot of a lot of people who are younger who mistakes with thumb how there really not having a good sense of host of keeping their identity and they’re just people are very frivolous about how much personal information they share in on internet was called it back POF plenty of wisdom and actually on that note not to go too far into the dark side but have you had any I’m sure you had some but you know what what what advice would you give note having the level experience you have about about real creepers or did you know that my make you feel let me before you have a chance with this type of mop cut them up or hang up on them if they were to get threatening or to just get weirder abusive or anything like you have any I don’t want to get all Sensational with horror stories but maybe more practical in a sense of Life what do you have a saltwater bath ready to jump into if you feel creeped out or do you have some sort of self-care and what’s the deal with the shift whether it’s creepy or not what’s a very lucky that I don’t really attract clients like that different girls attract different types of collars very much so it’s like Baskin-Robbins there’s a different flavor for everybody and I have never even come close to having any color that was stalkerish or interested in you don’t meeting or anyting I’m a very honest open direct person probably much more so would be good for I am so direct with clients if they ask me something and I’ll tell them the truth usually and other girls are more like they are there Persona they are never going to break that fourth wall to them and is a role they will never admit you know this isn’t them or whatever it says I’m just not like that and a lot of guys like that sense of reality others as sort of a bubble and they will never call you again because you’re too much reality they’re not looking for that they’re looking for Fantasy so I have never ever ever had anything remotely like that and yet I know some girls have had real problems with that very serious ones I mean the horse everyone’s and I think well maybe it’s because they’re playing this role and they’re insisting that they really are this character and it’s just all too real to the guy and I’m like oh you know that’s that’s not how it is consider more of a flooded reality so I don’t have that problem with my clients at all I’m glad to hear that that’s that’s music to my ears what would you say knowing the girls who have had that experience of living able to shake them off or what are some Clyde I honestly don’t know because they’re just running their business totally different than I am so unless they decided to move to my business model they’re going to keep having this problem I mean some of these girls will say oh I’ve got this whole back story that my character lives in such and such a place and she’s such and such an age and you know she went to this school and and she did this and that and I’m like really you go to all this trouble I might I’m just me if a guy calls I’m just me I’m not putting on any stories I say I live in Ontario Canada which is true I don’t tell them the town that I live in cuz they don’t really need to know that but I’m not making up some story about what I did or what I didn’t that that’s just not me it’s just not and yet there’s a lot of girls that they write this whole back story this like a totally separate character and if that’s how they want to do it that’s fine and I know a lot of them do that’s what they feel comfortable with they don’t want to give any real information that’s fine and I don’t give much to the ones that I do but I’m just me no matter what guy calls them if a guy says I won’t Lobby been in a gangbang recently haven’t you wanted to be not going to get what he wants because I’m too based in reality like I said some guys like that some guys don’t you want to talk about any anything you want to close with would be great or just call it a good a good first episode look forward to connecting my phone sex site is erotic Talk phone sex. Com and my erotic audio site if you want to order a custom audio is erotic audio recordings. Com some people can easily be able to contact me there if they’re interested in setting up a call well if the button says available love usually available if it says that I usually remember to set that right you can just call the number if you wanted to do a call and if you wanted to order an audio guys will email me usually with their script to get an estimate which I can do from the word count I can give them a very close estimate as to how long it will be in the price and then we go from there all right I love that will custom audio clips Galore sounds like you you’re really got this workout and it sounds like you graduated from the dependence and Reliance on 3rd party platforms and you’ve got it all sorted in house is that right on your website or how does that are you part of a network or is it all kind of have my own sci-fi I am available on many many sites that I do calls on but I only I only promote my own site because it is of or benefit to me easily if a guy comes to my own site so even though the price a guy May pay would be the same say $2 a minute which is pretty standard if he calls me through some site I might only be getting a third of that if he calls my sight I’m getting ate almost every penny of that so where do you think I’m going to direct people of course I’m I don’t even tell them what Play Time on or what names I go by or anything I only ever tell them Sheeran on a rush and that is the only place that you will find Sharon Sharon all right all right are you ready to go find her on the on that website and appreciate you again it’s been a time to be on the shoulder and a lot and look forward to next time I see you again so much and thank you so much for having me www.sprint.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition assassini and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple viper bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email ben.com namaste

Lose Your False Mind, Find Your True Self & Learn to Feel Good Inside with Craig Lewis TPP214

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Craig Lewis pic

In this episode I’m joined again by long time friend and brother from the heart of the d-i-y punk scene Craig Lewis for a update on his adventures in travel, personal growth, recovery, mental health justice, spirituality, sexuality, and much more.

There are many profound spiritual truths and gems of sacred wisdom shared. I’m always deeply reaffirmed that our shared deep roots in the ethics and spirit of resistance from the punk rock movement have kept us motivated to fight the good fight and love the good love.  It’s invigorating to catch up with Craig and compare notes as we push ourselves ever forward towards our own evolving definitions of what it means to be spiritual warriors.

About Craig:

Craig Lewis is a rebel and he chooses to live his life built on a foundation of gratitude, peace, love, kindness, spirituality, accountability, honor, forgiveness and acceptance. He is currently living in a mountain in Mexico, seeking truth, healing and connection. Without question, Craig continues to rise ever higher on his mission to be the living proof to all, that surviving the impossible, is entirely possible.

Craig recently published his book ‘Better Days’ in Finnish, Dutch, Spanish, Tagalog and Thai, with several new translations on the way including Kiswahili and Italian.  Find out about his many books, posters and more here: Sanityisafulltimejob.org (under construction) and also via email.

Craig actively trains mental health workers, educators, people in recovery (and all interested people) throughout the world and is excited about benefiting your organizations and the lives of all via his experience, wisdom and fearlessness. 

Medium Blog: https://medium.com/@punx.in.recovery
Whatsapp: 528332944654
Punx.in.recovery@gmail.com

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello David Lebovitz welcome to Township on podcast episode number 214 will be getting some major updates from our international Man of Mystery been on the show a few times before Craig Lewis you said old friends are going back many years in the anarcho-punks seen in the more radical conscious seen and he is standing in the world of pure support and mental health and really growing and transcending beyond the the system’s way of administering public policy around mental health and really taking the power back and using a DIY Spirit to do so and last time or what we’ve been since we’ve talked last I know a lot of Adventures have unfolded and and a lot of Mystique and a lot of intrigue so with all that said Craig take it away. What’s been going on with new oh my god brother it’s been I think the last time we spoke was in February to do to do a proper the discussion like this was in February of last year so it’s like I don’t know if 15 months are 16 months ago if I’m not mistaken yeah so yeah man yeah it’s been one heck of a crazy wild ride and I now live in a mountain I am in the south of Mexico and I am in a place it’s a bit hard to get you unless you have any intention to go there you make a plan and I have an apartment I got a place to live that’s affordable and I have a terrorist live off the plants and the mountains all around and hunting birds and cats that visit and live with me I don’t think the language and I’m learning and I’m just for the first time for lots of reasons this finding some sort of I don’t know how to describe it some sort of acceptance of the rationality of everything and finally some sodas thanks and all of it to be able to be in the moment and take that and transform into whatever this I dream about and end desire in a nutshell that’s where I’m at this is awesome and you sound better than ever and I know you’ve been through so much some intense inner struggles and external struggles and now to be at that place of peace and sounds like relative kind of resolution to to be posted up somewhere and then I actually have this is something I’m really fascinated in which is the economics of being a traveler in the in the modern age in the sort of how you can are you figuring out ways to economize with your resources and find ways to make your money last longer by being posting up on your travels places where you can just kind of make it stretch and last longer when can you get into some of the economics of that of that way of life cuz it’s very fascinating to me I’d love to do more traveling myself oh yeah I will check this out, man it’s a freaking disaster III what economics are we speaking of like it’s funny I landed here with a backpack okay I I had a little bit of money to just place to get a house and I’ve been like it’s been a very challenging experience to find some sort of sense of any sort of like this world episodes like some sort of solid foundation on a music and this whole crazy like a year-and-a-half will plus I like all over the world husband Ace Financial how do I describe it I don’t have like a mighty long time ago this is been like I don’t want to I do want to break up Bon Jovi cuz this is been like what we would that when they would sing in 1986 this is what they called living on his neck no other way to describe it because that’s exactly what I know to be true but so this is all crazy like how do you live how do you survive how do they make this happen I don’t think I had a choice and I think the only way I was going to heal and I get to the next place in my life to get to the next place to get to the next place what’s the not know what the heck I was doing and just trust that I did letting you know you know me I give like the roundabout Circle answer that’s like the opposite of the answer you’re seeking or the or the S you would expect or anticipate the question but that’s what you get for me so that’s my answer brother what actually did I half expected something like that where it was more I can see the strategy and being uncertainty Jake and the spontaneity of going where the wind blows you know and in following just moment-to-moment that’s that’s the dream I mean that’s the most Freedom you could ever have is to not be bound to even your own plans of your own expectations of anything in and just really trust a if I’m blessed then I’ll get fed and in Shelter tonight and if I’m not then I’ll have to wonder why with the empty stomach on the cold side park somewhere a man and I don’t like that empty stomach and I also want to just briefly go back a second before I go forward the moment I said that the answer that you were expecting I knew that was the incorrect thing to say and I immediately followed by saying the opposite because I knew that you’re not expecting that it’s like this like comfortable thing that we do when we’re communicating we make use of something that we put into the conversation but actually that’s bullshit you are understanding me more than most people would so thank you yeah crazy life man this whole reality is just you can live and people will see your heart and don’t understand that the language or how you look or you come from or any of these things they don’t matter what matters is that you can communicate from what is truly what they knew in your heart that they will see that and they will accept that and that’ll bring you the protection on the help and the loves and that everything that you need for real I love a man yeah that does that leaves Faith conduct actually reminds me something funny why I say this with all due respect cuz this fellow is one of my dear friends and we’ve sent drifted apart but but we used to be tight Bros and it was funny in a way because he came from a way more stable family and had he works really hard to be an overachiever and I watched him work harder than anybody so I don’t say that he was like a born with a silver spoon in his mouth or whatever he wasn’t he was privileged but he also was pushed to to Really develop himself but she did all the extracurricular activities and did the honours and did all this crazy prep work and and and built himself up so that he could be ivy league material to go to college and then he’d end up finding a program at a state college or State University that that he was happy with and we know I’m happy with location happy with the programming cetera and I me I dropped out literally in sixth grade was in and out of rehab and got maybe another couple of former formal semesters of high school and then dropped out again after that and then I a couple years later I got a GED and then we both end up starting at the same State University together at the same the same time and I had that been the complete antithesis of the discipline and academic rigor that he put in and we both started the same place even though we had to come about it until we different ways but I also was getting straight A’s and was dedicated so I think this is just you know that all that is to say there’s people who are rich and unhappy and don’t know what to do themselves and they’re throwing all kinds of money away and all kinds of drugs and experiences and you’re going at this is international expiration with you’re surrendering to a to the Divine forces that are guiding your your your destiny and that and I’m always impressed I’m always jealous Pac-Man you ear like living it up with the fuck all you got to do and I’m going out there listening who wants to know how to how to do it on doing are you going to do like why am I crazy like I thought I thought I had and this is the opposite of what I however I should I should restate that live your dreams like to be free to live their dreams you have to have like the Living Like Blood Parts select thing beating out of you and you have to take it and learn how to take it standing up and then smile and how does a gold medal physical and emotional heart function but for some reason on Earth why don’t you just finish it down was it yesterday in the morning and you say because I want to know of a solution and all you got is like you and Siri are you going to still that hard up with something of beauty they’re going to just like let it become like like Houston broken and like crap the pieces like a kisses ceramic that shatters and so many ways that you can’t apply the consumer D art form to like naked better to make it more gorgeous from before I don’t want to let it get to that man in so I didn’t it shows different that’s all you can do right on Manuel what does I think that’s a good sort of just catching up with bed and instead of setting the tone butt so tell me what what have you what are some of the the you’ve been through some nightmare scenarios give us some adventurous kind of thrilling updates on the record and say cuz we are because I don’t say it just lost my mind National way for me or anyone in a kind of situations that I found myself in such as being normal and that’s remember I did it start out normal normal I need to really not know what with all those pills in the nozzle Octonauts and not normal shit was it normal that had that brain injury was it normal that everything went crazy wasn’t normal so here I am like at the base of my life or the beginning of my new life not normal and so like I’m just so freaking proud of myself then I’m alive in Christ figure it out somehow that it was okay to be fucked up in the eyes of others that it was okay to like cars had your relationships and your familial connections and your volume note to Garrison in old friends and colleagues at all if that is okay. Burnt to the ground that it doesn’t actually matter I took to stick around that that and I can’t believe you this is just a process like a moment to moment. This is hard to do the Okemos but I decided to be okay with it cuz I like the sound of that word okayness like okay I want to see I don’t want this palatable how to build in my life just want to go to handle something because well it’s not great but thanks for that you know that okayness and dust you choose to be so all this shit this happened man I can admit that I know that some of it looks real wild and it looks one way and it could be another we live in a reality where we look at the freaking news in the United States obviously something is wrong in society is this also confused and 504 West so you know what I got it I got to stay right there you you have just stumbled upon a masterful mine hack and I am seeing from the outside Dimension as you’re saying but basically what you just described is that we live and we live in this world where the ships hitting the fan and there’s a lack of people feeling a sense of okay now and I really feel like we need to become more comfortable with with all week and we need to deal with our shit so we can feel the Okemos if you catch my drift I catch your drift Iko something’s been plaguing me on the inside because through the process I got it I want to admit it putting you and everyone in that everyone if you are not including everyone that’s a funny thing you know why cuz I respect the heck out of you and I’ve been like it’s been such a long exhausting journey of knowing you that for me is included me being embarrassed and people mixed with you who I just noticed this man was like surviving so much better than me and I keep coming this beautiful human being that I only dreamed like 3 years ago or whatever we got to reconnecting and I am pathetic and somehow believe I have you feel like we’re on the same level of me I mean I have nothing but but like respect for you by Prince you’ve accomplished so much and you’ve accomplished things that I am still still dreaming about accomplishing so it’s it’s a mutual you know Mutual sensitive of respect and admiration man it’s always so it’s the way it should be mad it’s like to skateboard is trying to learn learn new tricks together you know thank you man and thank you and the reason why I came I was about to say what I’m about to say this because the process of the journey this is bent for me is not just included me it’s included lots of other people sung by choice and then probably just a son who just ended up in the crossfire of my life because of other reasons that they may may may not have been aware of or been aware of their participation and and and it’s not okay to not swear on the show oh my God they say it’s because because I hurt all the time give a presentation on anyways and so that’s kind of what kind of what works for me man and his wife said that like cuz I look up to you as somebody who has just like refining for himself and it’s showing the whole world like this is what it looks like to be in a process of yourself and be better with better and better and better I was like my God I could never be anywhere near the degree of what are some sleep when you go through the process of becoming you when you’re like burns down and you don’t know what to do in the fall Society is his his his either confused with you you’re a huge mistake the doctor that’s a Schism you just get into situations that could be desperate and you might not know that you’re desperately might not know you getting into you might not know it’s going to happen next cuz how could you and then you get into this situation where you get into things with people with money and then Todd relationship stuff cuz I was like a weird dude already have to learn how to be like in today and all this crazy shit that I don’t know about your kid and like you’re always conduct yourself in the way that you wish and I wish you felt embarrassed that like this like how did you get here like one of these crazy stories amazing stories that I want to share with you a few but it wouldn’t be fair to me to the universe who knows me and watches this happen at the end of my reality who was the recipient or have experienced just knowing somebody in whatever way when they go into the burning down with your going through the process of Awakening that’s an ugly and painful and frankly does a lot of people who got caught up in that and I would every day with the with trying to like become more pure knowing how screwed up things worth time and knowing that your casualties to getting to a better place and that’s just a preface if you will to talk and but all the good cuz frankly like recently somebody had posted something online in response to something I’d written and they said they dude guy Craig I was like yeah really you ask cuz this wasn’t for me I’m in the process of doing fasting from social media and the more I take a step back from it the less I want to return back into that that mine state and f deleted some accounts I’ve just taken some apps off my phone Note sometimes I bring them back or not but I know a lot of the frenzy that you would get sucked into with trolling and drama online at school it’s Way Beyond normal human capacity to have any level of that kind of interaction and so I think everybody got everybody’s got taken for a ride and I think there’s only a few people who who. So I just burnt out but but really Purge that that toxic soup of emotions that comes from being in that frenzy and actually has the wherewithal to create distance so I’m wondering I mean you wrote the book on on peer supported mental health and now it seems like you’re going to have to write a book all about how to either navigate or avoid or moderate social media right wow the funny thing is that a you’re right about the social-media thing dude I want to write letters I think I love the fact that we can communicate and all this shit then it is just destructive Beyond any any you or you do understand cuz we’re taking the brakes and destructive Beyond any capacity that I have to use to find a better word with my. If I may say so Larry man like I totally feel that makes think about it it’s not constructive most the time when you’re not dealing with people who have skin in the game to a point where they feel like they’re they have to be accountable to not overdo insults and overdue criticisms it’s like if you were a tribe living together and you knew everybody everybody knew each other since birth and everybody was mutually interdependent for survival then you would have restraint when it comes to the extent of abuse that you would tolerate that you were perpetuate but when you’re totally disconnected then you have no skin in the game for survival with you with a group of people it is literally the most unconstructive way to process emotions information actual important social issues and Community issues that come up so please man yeah go out let’s just open that can of worms and laments profusely about that I think people need to get some that shaking out of that Paradigm will be well I think it’s constructive thing to do with all this beat it because there’s so many to choose from in my in my soda. I was thinking about that you asked me to write a book about social media like crazy out-of-control the truth is always some truth behind what’s going on that’s funny or not funny or not is that this really happens I like a guy ask you know if I hear you perfect out of control destructive I wish you could see right now and if you like like lights flashing I’m actually having my hands in the air like I am the king of the awful idle control crazy person public meltdown we shouldn’t be who I am today if I celebrate that ships the best baby should be a book or went to learn how to not do what I did cuz maybe my way is not the right way for everyone but the reality also is the Crux of all that is that the freaking internet and that social media chaos that I was unprepared for is it crazy person adult trying to find his way that was destructive they probably not just for me probably thousands of people or more out there who taught Derek distances that collapsed because they didn’t know how to manage cuz how could you learn if you didn’t know how yeah that is so Insidious it just creeps up and with so many things now I mean that it’s it’s cliche to talk about how the dystopian sci-fi of the 1980s which was what really Prime me for being prepared to deal with this time and being a warrior in this time and it digital Warrior and I still despite that training of of being skeptical of corporate fascist media Empires and what not I I live drink of plenty of their Kool-Aid and now I’m really thinking about how much I’ve leaked about my interests my desires that people who have wanted to be involved with romantically and the processes of all that stuff is basically being molested by those social media Giants and and I’m glad that I did not take it to the extreme to let people do which is actually like a lot of negativity and a lot of drama and a lot of accusations and yeah I feel like there’s a state of grace that is refusing to to participate in that in that should have been punk rock an Arco pump DIY 101 I mean we were always rebelling against the mainstream and back then it was the mainstream media and it was the one directional media of of the power elite news organizations and there was ziens and I like the way that social networks online could be decentralised but there was it there was actually an addict his backbone to that where it was people who were peer-to-peer building forums and building networks in chat rooms that were they weren’t being puppeteered by these these forces that are really there to serve the state ultimately to Amy so ever you want to talk about just let us bring this back to it to who we really are a man as like as anarcho-punks who were trained to think critically about technology and about corporate Fascism and the mainstream and then watching and watching ourselves get sucked into it watching other people get seduced and sucked into it and like how do we resist how do we repeal and fucking in Break Free then yeah yeah I respect you all Whenever there were born okay and basically what this comes down to is the difference between a fanzine and a Zine so we grew up grew up in this like reality where your existence fish eat that text that need within your soul and your spirit your heart to have an understanding to connect with the world in a way that brought you the feeling of like you belong that you were part of something that mattered that was what we call fancy right if you want to like try to give a little bit of a I don’t have described it with the word is a metaphor I don’t know when there’s also looks like her internet and then I just went over that and then it’s not meant to or with your is a 2018 something like that it is the difference cuz in the context of social media excetera that. That’s a defined difference between when you are living in an era an era where you haven’t desperation that is coming from this blooming devastating oppression that I have a sense about cuz we know as opposed to living in an era in a society where you yourself are being basically programs and I’m not trying to talk about some sort of like cuz we don’t we can’t see it happening is happening in Plainview people to be trained to be a certain way so that’s why you were programmed to almost beat our own enemy and what we were going up with back in the day and I’m just going to help my do by David Guetta in the late 1980s I’m not going to beat around the bush here about that it was different we tried to communicate and understand and learn and educate and Shear in very different ways that did teach us a way to be in the world that I’m certain you will agree allowed us now we have success as I’d like free people quote the same doing and be because we’ve learned in in times in through methods that were popular then and almost unheard-of now up the punx to that brother yeah man it’s funny cuz this whole thing about fake news it’s like back in my day was all fake news what he’s talking about like you wouldn’t trust any new source anyway and there it is just as weird commingling now everybody being sucked into the Demi celebrity trip to of of the the platforms that make you yawn I’m I’m kind of in recovery from from drinking the Kool-Aid to man sex you want to keep up with it that we were ejected all that and anyway I don’t want to get hung up on that on that topic but I know that a lot of the suffering that you have disclosed to me privately comes from just being Dogpile on the internet you know yeah it’s because I started get rid of all those people where they got rid of me or with mutual or it wasn’t but either way it happens does it is disconnected people don’t make you feel good and just I just it’s Ash and it that have to happen if I feel personal about anything I ever did cuz I did was like face reality here but not always been an easy field person and that I had to use I have to push people away because of my own craziness and Highway but nonetheless coming to bite my tongue well yeah sounds like you have a healthy sense of taking responsibility for things as one thing I love talking about is if there’s no there’s no bifurcation really in your personality you know you are who you are and you don’t the candy coat that very often sounds like for people to get in love it or leave it for one moment I want to make a statement here at that you’ll agree it’s okay I’m completely I’m completely nuts and I’m definitely if you can put this in quotes but I mean I propose cuz it’s I think it’s a great courses true and in quotes right here I’m good crazy I think for the first time in my life like yeah so what I know this is a bit crazy like I can look so what about yesterday right now and tomorrow and the next day I could just make more good crazy happen I’m so sick and tired of that crazy and I could learn to hold burning down of everything so I could get rid of that bad crazy what do I do whatever I have to do including and a much to the weather for next to the disdain for the right word but it’s good enough I come from it with truth which makes it pretty hard core but also I’m doing it because I don’t want to have it be an issue anymore so that’s craziness go out of control on the internet and then have a V8 if you will occur Abernethy Bridge with some that is very necessary if you need to heal then so be it but I’m also purifying so deep deep traumatic abuse that I experienced and if I’m not going to have a really group of participants or people in my life is one of his old stuff it’s still going to come out and I sure as heck ain’t going to end my life because our or go crazy in a way that’s going to get me locked up in a bad way Lawrence OB I’m going to put my shit out there I’m going to speak the truth and I’m going to let let that be how people figure out what’s up what’s not what matters and what doesn’t button in no way shape or form do I do any of this because I want to it’s because healing comes from getting out of your system to things that aren’t making you feel toxic and that can include interpersonal stuff you can food a thousand different things and I and not going to be silent if being sounds will keep me sick so speaking truth whether its preferred welcomed or not it is actually putting an end to the hurt and that that does also result in and include who serving of ties with many sometimes it’s unfortunately intentional but who matters here for me more than me just like anyone anyone else is the matter for them most at first you need to matter to themselves first and then most importantly so that’s life and I’d rather just choose the most Ford and let the let the heck’s come because the more I get hit the more I’m sure I’ll Never Smile act like its neck and that right there I believe that everyone else had the world to learn how to do and it’s Graham said out of would never put this on lips Alston and Lasting here sorry I go on and on I’m not sorry actually grateful for that time the more people learn the Dakin’s like punched and kicked their way out of the traps that they feel themselves and that doesn’t mean that’s because if it’s a whole process of getting yourself to where you need to be I want everyone to know that everyone can do that it’s going to suck but if I can do this in a Hertz at continuing low I mean living evidence that you can continue to land on your feet than everyone else can too and I don’t care for what I have to say you can do to go live your life and do the best you can be in frankly that’s what I’m doing so fuck off but still please do your thing so you can have everything that I’m going to yeah that was a time and experience as each day goes forward to live in that happiness cuz I want it and you can have the same thing so like fuck I’ll see you later come on back whatever but piece that sounds good man well I know some people who were listening to same I feel kind of lost on what what it is what kind of dancing around here if you don’t know how I know you know you can obviously be as candid or as reserved as you’d like but I feel like it is I would say correct me if I’m wrong but in a broad sense you you stood up to seven justices in the world and that kind of cause the shitstorm of not okayness that week but you prevailed your okayness prevailed over there not okay Miss in the midst of a shitstorm online and not just on its just oh my God can you break that down for us to whatever extent you know isn’t they’re breaching confidentiality or probably not actually not in jeopardy. The funny thing check it out how about I have the moment there who doesn’t you think you have to do when you produce this thing later that they released you have to just two levels and now you know you might take a note oh my God yeah man and just try to keep it brief cuz I can’t be a maniac about this I got to try to come best light for my good for yours in the whole world that you’re you’re Mania Mania Maniac don’t know what was basically I got freaking screwed for doing my job and it’s okay I went to work I was working as a mental health worker I loved what I did and he might stem from the first report back to the Survivor background I was trained and frankly Grant I’m glad it all happened because I couldn’t I don’t have a day job working someplace and having a bad Vibe by the rules of the system which ultimately dictate working in another house feel like I was I was working at this mental health place that was running all about people live experience week we’re all certified peer specialist I love what I did and was your place different part of the state but I buy a new company little did I know that the guy I was working with what’s the sticker McDonald’s scary misogynist I wasn’t familiar with like that degree of creepiest and I was also supposed to be professional and I was getting paid and I had to work another place you working at the mental health worker you have to adhere to certain rules and guidelines of course cuz if you don’t I’ll call Nicole borders new teachers Nursery School teachers in a kindergarten doctors excetera East you have you aware of abuse of a person or in your care if you will or but you have suspicions of it which is also legitimate your required by law in laws law whatever you can take it or leave it what lies you believe in cuz look in the United States right now it’s crazy how ever this is something that we all hold true when you working in the in the human services are helping professions that said it was my requirements that I had no choice to make a report because there was a situation that just frankly was as it turned out was bad this is not an acceptable thing for some people that I expose this in a series of extremely disgusting things occurred and I ended up looking like the bad guy and they really made this The Narrative we will and papers well and ultimately they found out that the report I made was true they found out to the guy that I’ve reported was documented by independent clinicians Adams facility that didn’t work for a company contract in this pretty I’m kind of providers giving groups support groups and then they knew because my report was the same as theirs and they never put it to the facility that my report was already known so they knew they had a guy in there who was behaving a predatory waste for months for two months then he got caught again but but other people who documented the sexualised behaviour and once they had found out that my report was true of any of the guy who is the supervisor my supervisor without telling anybody. Even the assistant director of the HR Director secretly after I didn’t report and it put it back into the same place where I’ve reported what he was doing then he got caught again twice too much later I feel like I’m describing once they had knowledge that I was telling the truth well that wasn’t acceptable and that was the end was me as I knew it was the end of my career as I knew it it was the end of everything I knew and this is during the same time. That after 28 years of my life being intentionally harmed by psychiatric medication for the purpose of keeping me quite I was able to get off of all this I cash medications in fact with the insistence of a team that’s more than one psychiatrist insisting that it was a medication making me sick and they need to take all the diagnosis on my file and the whole nine yards man 20 years of my life on a bunch of bulshit give him his pills and you need sick many everyone throughout my life experience 28 years I mean tonight to you need when I met you in person at all the crazy thing happened at that show moving forward but this is all under the clown under the fog of psychiatric pills that were given to me to shut me out to keep me quiet about Happy with a child adapt a bunch of psychiatrist now when that time. Ike 2008 1314 look at my medical documents and look at me and look at the book I can read and look at how everything does not make sense and say you don’t have these conditions that you’ve been medicated for all your life that it was known you for 28 years as a person drugged you need to go out these pills cuz they are making you sick you’ll never have a chance to have a better life to continue to take the pill this is being sent to me of yet by psychiatrist is it we’re changing what your diagnosis on your medical record you do not have these conditions and I went and I saw my primary care physician in the file and right there just as they said debunks debunk ebox trauma course the charm is there cuz well that’s what happens if you 20 years to be confused this thing with the job is happening at the same time. That I’m getting off these pills and I’ve gone to heels with vinegar text mountain people that my community are angry at me also just left me for side of my job and then I go to Europe for the first time the person I was traveling with to give a presentation a t a take a conference I first time ever going to Europe dream come true after that conference I went into a sauna and Upsala I managed to me within 10 minutes my body had had basically detox rapidly and from it within the fat cells in my body after 20 years of taking psychiatric medication like tearing off the doctors help I did Poison myself in Riga Latvia and I was never the same since I started to slur my words and I was fried more more crazy stuff happen ultimately with all resulted from this is that I lost my home in January 2018 that’s my cat January 2018 I already lost most of my friends call these people thought I was crazy I got into Financial stuff also get social things like most my friendships are getting more and more the tax I lost a bunch of my personal stuff and most people like it truly care about and I still do you know what a live with no real idea what I’m going to do to try to listen to travel the world and find a way to create a new life find a way to connect with other people to find a way to Love by the way to connect by the way I create a new business and Nueva to survive using the foci are offered in different languages and also the English language like you crying and Kosovo you know it Poland and and giving presentations are in and talk circles in in in in you name it healing from trauma healing from abuse how to survive being possible he has been crazy sometimes I misunderstood all the time trying to learn how to be because I never learned as a child I never had a coming-of-age I was drugged for 14 on to all the cells have the same time I totally feel comfortable in my own country I don’t think I can work this is presents about me just like it’s like psychosis around me that like this guy why was he sick while he was mentally sick of these other word but in fact maybe I was drugged how can you explain to somebody week like that wasn’t you it wasn’t me but it looks like you sounds like you I can’t quite I said the pills pills were what were making me so fucked up or how am I supposed to know the difference your right respect all I can do is say you’re right you experience that crazy shit with me and that was real few doesn’t matter if it wasn’t me it was because of I was poisoned for my own good of course that’s what happened so I can only say goodbye and I can’t change that to this is the reality the past four years is always have these things happening in the world disconnected from people from people that have no more going to call ain’t going to call anybody you know is going to pick up that’s how do you find whis when you don’t feel comfortable in your own land cuz you your language is English it’s a dominant language in the world and and you’re a guy easy to just try to reconnect after all these years of chaos you supposed to be a certain weight verifications of you you can escape to past so what are you do what did I do what the heck out of there as I said travel the world very difficult very painful very lonely very hard very beautiful and in that 15 months how do they communicate with people with languages that we do not share what do you do how do you find your weight you can’t just go crazy like I did in a couple years was the way somewhere West getting killed in the airport in Paris I lost my shit you can’t do that you have to learn how to connect on a spiritual level that you can’t communicate people will know your energy just like a cat or a dog you can’t let them experience you went away that you’re going to be repelled by how you learn how to do that how do you learn that’s what you learned and that’s what the story that’s what the backstory is the backstory is a story it’s like five or six what’s it like in your own way with wreck somebody happening at the same time and just by the grace of whatever it is you believe I resulted it was Ulta didn’t me finally getting to the point of saying screw it almost going to go live why can Liz get a Visa they did and take a little money had and get a a place that was furnished and so I did and how I live in a community and I need some friends and that’s the story that’s that’s what you’re asking me it’s like a 15 minute monologue but that’s what the story is it should make enough sense of all this meat is missing tons of pieces that music house ugliness lost torture resulted and be speaking about all we have prior to keep me answering the question if it was up to them that being a store that I can talk about with a smile and with some sort of like humor because I know what resulted in like where I’m at now thank you so what is the advice you have for people who are whistleblowing in organizations where it sounds like sounds like you were is a recipe for disaster in that because anyone could say that your credibility under those circumstances everybody in a situation is the pot calling the kettle black and in a sense so for people who are direct me totally just a source of your strength to overcome oh my God it was it wrecked me I can’t believe them alive direct me so much that I’m laughing about it because it’s like well at the very least it’s always warm here like every piece of shit wasn’t nice to me back in Massachusetts I guess what in the winter you going to pay for that heat and for those of you out there who struggle so I don’t have to deal with that anymore thank you thank you I could have stand I’m coming around to this myself which is that I feel like there is there was a time where I felt like I had to go out there and I had to add jatate and and have a high risk tolerance and a high risk appetite for being involved in the potential for liability of the potential for things sort of backfiring it in in in in doing my work and now I feel like I survived some pretty epic chapters of risk and now I’m finding myself more risk-averse and less risk tolerant and wanting and actually being able to say no but I’d rather not put myself at risk by not that I’m totally disengaging from everything but I will say that that the the duty that I felt I had to be out there in the mix of a lot of chaos I don’t feel that that I feel like I I slay that Dragon I slay those demons and and I can live with myself comfortably not feeling like a coward and not feeling like I was avoiding those those efforts and I wondering if you feel now and it is something that make people can resonate with that they can learn powers that you know you don’t have to fight every battle you can choose your battles as long as you fight some battles and even if you don’t win you survive but you know you did what was right you don’t have to keep doing that forever and you can get yourself the fuck out and go and retire from The Madness of fighting a lot of struggles where it’s a losing battle sometimes and you can just enjoy the face so you know live to fight another day you know you know they say Don’t run you can run away and live to fight another day or you could stay in a place that you’re not going to get out of one piece nnn regret it so I don’t know just want to say that I congratulate you for for doing the right thing and then getting a fuck out of there before you did actually get completely destroyed you know yet well you know what me and your trusty Craig motherfuking Lewis you know that’s what happens when your trusty Craig fucking crazy person Louis I just don’t need that to be sampled probably just got myself some was going to have fun with me with that but that’s okay it doesn’t have a certain that what was the question Bedford just let me be me to take two more of a general commentary and sense of wanting to see the bigger picture which is that sometimes I guess I was seeing if I feel the same way about the politics of insurrectionary Street protests and you put yourself out there and you put yourself in a meat grinder lot of people do and they end up in really serious trouble that they didn’t bargain for that it’s not really sustainable certain forms of resistance are not really sustainable there’s new waves of of people who are going to come up into that but you have to know when to win to what’s the country song what’s the country song when you know how to hold them oh my God yeah it is you don’t talk about anything yeah yeah quit while you’re ahead and I was going to quit while I was ahead I should have just never done shit about the so I made a decision take out the stand on my two feet and stand up when I knew was true and for what I knew was the correct thing to do and to what someone ever did for me when I was 15 years old and then that horrible facility being feminized and section leak destroyed and and and humiliated and have a whole life taken when I was 15 in those two so they locked me up in just got too many times I had no way weather right I didn’t even know if I believe in the Universal God whatever they want to call it if I want to call it whenever I look to you for my my my my my my peace I didn’t know dude in 2015 that’s what I was doing that was a sending that to a better place cuz of what all I was experienced by me throughout my life but there was no way there was no way any any shape or form that I was going to permit and using my legally-protected role as a mandated reporter there was no way I was going to permit what I was witnessing happening in front of me to people who were the victim of assault and simple ways I was when I was a kid and when I was a kid I asked for help and no one helped me I would love to rot and take it there was no way and 2015 that I was going to break from my responsibilities and I just didn’t legal responsibility responsibility responsibility but the opportunity to make sure using my power that I had been given by becoming certified to work in the role of I had been working in there was no way I was going to go to deviate from that there was no way I was going helping that individual with a moment of peace when I was not afforded the very same thing that I deserve as much as everyone who’s ever been a situation like that woman was deserved and I stood in my two feet and I would do the same thing right now again because it was the right thing to do and I will always go to look myself in the mirror and a camera and whatever I never that was right now looking forward to move on and it doesn’t matter that like I got crushed in the process and it come on how many people are going to listen to this I thought his back but I want to hear about like awesome stuff like so what like what kind of fool of myself are so funny and it’s true what kind of fool thinks it’s a good idea business right now you all know them for one important reason it is important as a valid and it’s to be honored and respected but it does not mean you should do business-to-business okay and you don’t do people like yourself what’s a crazy people that word with deep affection Love because as professionally as I previously identified I want to be good crazy so maybe good crazy so that’s where I go to stay However maybe not everyone’s good crazy maybe I’ve not always been good crazy not truth what a terrible idea to work intimately with people cool ultimately it’s true cuz he went to humans ultimately it will save their own skin for doing the right thing because not everybody is not their fault it’s the reality is reality. Everybody grows up with like a street addict or knowing how it is to be closer to the bottom and I fortunately or unfortunately I am how you stated feeling perceive things many of the people that must have people that I was involved with what are of a higher class if you will or better way of living or a different kind of environment that allow after Sosa to delete it I never had it so I don’t blame them for Being Human but certainly did lack of understanding of what it meant to do what was right was more within me as a person who was straight talk and someone who grew up in just I guess nicer and perhaps more supportive of surroundings which I did not Amen brother that’s the truth right on that what I think yeah we should I think we should call it a show at I was at Adventure I was expected nothing less than and definitely you delivered on bringing bringing the the the healthy crazy that healthy and powered acknowledgement of what it takes in like hey was the word of of CO2 I remember that song Still if we’re never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy right so I believe that I believe it I feel it I’m the same way I’m definitely letting go on some innovations that have helped me back and I’m feeling more free and more wild and less less compromising to people who may not agree or understand what I’m trying to do and there’s a way to there’s a I think there’s a way you’re proving it and I’m I’m catching up to you honestly about getting to a point where you just you give no fuks about being a walk in your truth in speaking your mind and people don’t like it they can they can shove it up their okayness yeah and I’m okay with that closing statement a lubricated sex toy and gently massage it as they relax the sphincter into their anus until they filled okay no I don’t want to use shoving it up your ass says this is your word is because on the township on podcast we are all about putting the anus back into Okemos and putting the penis back into happiness all right have you seen the movie the interview Seth Rogen when they go to North Korea and they interview the North Korean dictator they say that they hate us cuz they ain’t us all the ants talk is that this is going to be listened to and I can ask around closing statement obviously my lots of curious people about Craig Lewis and better days and all this crazy nonsense stop podcasting a plus with all the craziness it’s hard to get work when you’re up when you’re allowed muffins supposed love for myself it’s awesome but all the people are the characters in the world I want to see I love you and I’m grateful for every person who has ever existed in my life including every person who has not been nice to me with every person who is abused me iPhone I am quitting the worst ones and I don’t want you all my life but I do forgive you because that’s the best for my. You’re my love for myself and also I just also think it’s very relevant necessary because I know this would be listen to cuz people whose voice and I’m staying right now will you love me or hate me or whatever it is it’s okay it’s okay because things have been crazy and I wouldn’t want to have to hang out with me sometimes the way things were but I can’t imagine being someone else it was horrible I was going through a living you know what I don’t want to say that word because I choose to like try to be better doesn’t mean that always succeed as you all know that you can I I’m grateful to be here today laughing about it crazy just going on I think some things that come out of my mouth that bow that’s pretty intense stuff sometimes I like using my brain is sometimes you say things that are little bit much so what I’m grateful to be here now I’m grateful to everyone if I’ve hurt your feelings or offended somebody will the problem with a reason but I also feel like that’s not okay so I do apologize for being hurtful because when you’re fighting a battle and you feel like you’re you’re experiencing or you’re proceeding being under some sort of Oppression you do things are sometimes don’t always make sense and you fight me ways that not everyone’s going through Fluevog so I will recognize this truth that goes for everybody including how I’ve communicated with you in the past and I have not been easy so this trip this accountability this acceptance of yes it’s not been pretty getting to this place and I am I in a gray spot now I’m working on it and it’s because I chose to be what I wanted to be and I tried to walk my talk and my Straight Talk sucks sucks sucks so I’ll leave you with this liked my dear friend and be host to talk about just suggested you can just get that lubrication and like jet me like take care of with best the love that you deserve because you deserve to feel good inside and however you find a way to feel good inside I know the tundra parked behind and I think it’s fair to say that I’m behind that to oh my God that sounds crazy that wasn’t even planned that I’m sorry but yeah oh my God I think it’s happened in my brain and that was thank you Universe this is crazy I don’t know what to say if it doesn’t get any simpler than put the anus in Okemos and put the penis and happiness and we will all be living in it beer peace more peaceful or more fulfilling more abundant world man so I think that’s that’s that’s what I asked what it comes down to and and I store is the next time I bought the world travels but that’s what I thought that’s what the best and I want a wonderful rest of your evening and we’ll be in touch again soon I love you so much and I love you so much for listening to the touch of Time Podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition assassini and improving the podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple after bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email said I turned your punk. Com Thomas gay

Sex, Drugs & Mostly Yoga with Kara Leah Grant TPP211

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Kara Leah Grant Pic

Photo by Pete Longworth

In this episode I’m joined by a brave and courageous tantrika who shares a love for psychedelic spirituality and has been on a path of evolution set in motion by powerful transcendent drug experiences.

She shares her intense story of spiritual growing pains, navigating love and relationships, tantric initiation, and ultimately owning her power to teach and transmit the practices of tantra.

We talk about the differences between Yoga and yoga, the role of asanas and tantric practices in the path of self-realization and liberation, neo-tantra vs. classical tantra,  the role of psychedelics in aging and maturing spiritual practice, the interplay between the chakra system, the nervous system, and the endocrine system, the intersections of biomedical science and tantric art and science, and much more!

About Kara-Leah:

Born and raised in New Zealand, Kara-Leah is an internationally-renowned retreat leader, teacher and author. She has impacted millions of people over the last decade through her articles, books, videos and teaching. Passionate about liberation in this lifetime, Kara-Leah practices and teaches an every day path of awakening – the path of the Awakened Heart Warrior. This path is grounded in Tantra and focuses on dissolving layers of the conditioned mind into deeper and deeper heart-felt presence. Kara-Leah’s work, through her teaching, writing and retreats, focuses on using the process of compassionate inquiry to reveal conditioned mind, and so help people to drop down into being-ness and presence. She is the author of two previous books, Forty Days of Yoga and The No-More-Excuses Guide to Yoga. She can often be found dancing in her living room for no reason at all.

Website: http://karaleah.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/karaleahgrant/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karaleahgrant/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRVrL82Cv0H0tQzFrhuH2RA?

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello David Lovitz welcome to Township on podcast episode number 211 I am here with Carly Grant and she is a touch of teacher and author and we’ve been connecting by social media and my interest is piqued with the title of her book sex drugs and most of the yoga field notes from a Kundalini Awakening has a very similar structure and and serve residents with the title of my forthcoming book and looking at so far the outline of the book I haven’t had time to fully enjoy it but to be able to get a sense of what How Deep The the rabbit hole goes it’s really exciting and I can’t wait to hear more about it in this will just kind of be the the primer and the incentive to go deeper in the future with her works better love to have you tell us kind of all about your personal background and then we can get into the evolution of this this writing that you’re doing and what you have offering what you working on the future gifts from my ex and a background I’m in my early forties now and then finally experienced in my life and for the Whistler ski Town it was an impact time of dance holidays and club and working and Hospitality sucking out the Mountain hiking in the mountains around America convergence are included to the practices and tell me if it’s a nightclub that may just like all of my possessions if I didn’t have enough self a wenis or knowledge to work with what was coming up so those things also. and I was at 4 time music please to Ocean blonde with my partner engaged in my fiance I just took me to the edge we took on the Friday night not a whole lot you know what your headaches to see on Friday night and then I may be going to a yoga class on acid which is doing mines post three times and is it a super teacher kind of looking at me funny and that just began this is skating unfolding shift in my perception of reality that long story short went from Bliss Wellness instant downloads of everything to eventually starting to go into deep trunks where I was speaking a foreign language my fiance he we can do it like I lost touch with reality and waking up in the psych ward guy what the fuk just happened to me inside that it was like trying to psychosis and then life post psychosis where I’m coming from that is very interesting and exciting and I’ve certainly had wow definitely profound otherworldly experiences where I was completely disconnected with consensus reality and ended up in some very bizarre situations in can commiserate on that as well but it sounds like also somewhat glorious do you want to talk about what insights that were happening and how long was it last thing in and just yeah can you can you even almost in a way channel the that you were at that time to to give us some some fun insights about the other side yeah absolutely on the fishing on his side so that happened was right on the new moon that experience and it was a Sunday morning that it began on Friday and sedated the Friday night and saw it was about five day experience to those who are astrological things happening in the sky and then a month later to my fiance ended up breaking up with me right side face before and that triggered a stick and experience of psychosis so I had two experiences and what was you gave me an opportunity to see how the stick and experience is triggered by my own emotional defense mechanisms and the way that I couldn’t handle the grief and I ended up disassociating and because I’d already my psyche was already right John is already to reduce a multi-dimensional reality inside that stick in his time there was a list of the translate State Police of the crate is coming through the wasn’t the language Exeter so going back to the experience it was extraordinary how to put it into words we just kind of go back and feel it was it was as if I dropped into knowing you know it just old things worth knowing is one way to describe at like anything that I needed to know I was at my fingertips I could just reach out and it was like I knew every witch every song every book dissolve at one point in the journey but it was also via quite strongly and other points and because the experience was being held by the the challenging relationship I was in a lot of ciaran Tiara coming up going to couldn’t communicate with my fiance cuz I was so worried or afraid of what he might think of what I was going through and he was looking at me like I was crazy and I can feel that so the whole experience was are the light with all of this fear of speaking truth and this way that I was kind of responding to his description of me as such so the where lots of different visions that came around the nature of reality and it was it was so the child that the world is different from what we told school and what we told and Society was being confirmed and just a little Winston’s to like it’s never about what we want and it’s always about what we need that I need for always be Mitch witch simplistic or like me what does it mean it’s not really a big deal everything just seems so important and so profound and so when I was trying to communicate this with my pain. He was just my voice doesn’t make any sense in like one thing I remember quite clearly as he was wearing glasses he needed glasses and I was trying to tell him that in the future we wouldn’t need to wear glasses that we were shifting into the what I was saying in the future and what was actually happening now and so I keep trying to take his glasses off him and tell him he didn’t need them of course he saw he needed them so it was like I had an ability to steal through time but it was very hard to ground that into recognize what was actually real for right now since I was really confused child and suddenly having all of these talents will gifts or abilities, and have no understanding or no way to put them in context or to ground them or two to use them it was incredibly confusing and since you’re fine and you’re very Blissful at the same time in like a deep sense of relaxation is well it was all happening at once interesting very time shake that distinction contrast between the Bliss and the terror and it’s a magician that I follow sometimes online and and he’s talking about really deep really edgy taboo kind of exploration spiritually and he says he’s a one-time very often you know the aha moment turns to oh shit and like I can I can get that sense xhilaration but also that the terror and so wild so cheap do you feel like you had any Transmissions from beings or entities or deities or anything of that nature any kind of like encounter type moments now there wasn’t any specific mbodied other beings that came true it was more like just the same to the wholeness of the Wonders and just knowing that would come through around like I knew that I had to return to New Zealand and I knew that I knew that was related to my mother and I related to my life Jenny what was required. The whole time. To really encourage my memory as much as I could with what I had to see it and then when I begin to do is to attempt to pass out to determine would like to see been truthful Vision or was that psychosis was at the the same scar I mean I was so laid him down with him scar is still so they will what was coming through so it was a real challenge for me to go right what was real and what was just the delusions that I was still laboring under and can I tease out the gold while sleeping the wrist and so it was more so in any language is a particular form of breathing like a hissing where I was speaking even as I was inhaling and exhaling and I had a beer and I was I remember quite clearly watching that passion and the other language that was coming through very much later like last year when I went and saw hitchhike on a hooptie section when she went through things was that I was missing a past life that I’ve had in the Egyptian mystery traditions in so that life was getting confused with me being here and now and now but if we not still. Join us we buy different lifetimes will bleed into the apparent here and now in a way that’s not useful because we haven’t eaten most of the ability to walk in those different Realms 2 walkthrough time whilst leaving things with a minute today yeah that’s very interesting actually was in a meditation group but I went to the one I think maybe just one time I went to this one particular group where they had this skill said that they would apply which was basically this really intentional really highly focused laser focused rotational I gazing where the train meditator would do the sort of left eye to left eye eye gazing with everybody who came to the meditation Circle and there were also practicing or tradition of meditating with your eyes open but they the masters of this path or the adepts of this path they would cultivate I can’t remember the exact methodology that they were following but it was replicable and it was it was very reliable that they could do this in and they would basically be able to once you lock into the eye gazing with them within a few may be a couple minutes of intense eye gazing you start they start to melt away and you start to see them change colors and phase through various genders and and and personalities and and and bodies and faces from there multiple lives and they’re basically scanning and seeing you so it’s almost like you’re you sure it’s almost like you just wear like a deck of cards you know or a deck of it and you just have whatever is in the current consensus reality on the surface of it but if you have one of these meditators going to shuffle your your lifetime Persona ask you no cards and then it’s a real powerful experience so I’m very much in a position to to validate your experience has it in for people who are I don’t know I don’t know how busy I’ve been such a Believer for so long now I just can’t even imagine people who would say that multiple lifetimes or reincarnation is is to woo woo or you out there just makes total sense to me and I’ve had enough I haven’t had what I think some people mainly love Ayahuasca people I know they will the ones who who are the sort of facilitators of Ceremonies some of them I just say a number of them who I know they kind of report this pattern of them if they do the medicine path you know rigorously honestly for however long it takes basically they will start to get through their get through the Karma’s of the current lifetime start going back to previous lives sequentially and then also I think can currently doing work for on behalf of the people that they’ve had car make and take them it’s with over multiple lifetimes so it’s kind of like a you just start polishing one layer after next you know going to this is so anyway that’s very just saw my thoughts to it to validate that experience and I could see how you know that I mean I would like to ask you if it was LSD that cause disorder abrupt jarring Rift and so having comparing your other mainly psychedelic experiences and Explorations do you feel like how do you personally feel in your heart about LSD is that your friend is it your enemy is it your lover is your Trickster yeah I know it was my initial instincts is it was the only state that hit that had triggered at but it’s just so I can go by myself feeling like that differently united life with my partner and I wasn’t going I didn’t think again really into the spice when juicing translate state tax return connect Museum to wake light on after the second episode I didn’t say I would just stop drinking so I can place on anti-psychotic medication so she created Everything Gold fangs because I was really we are you doing anything that might trigger I was seeing a man and he hit some ice and he was going to type it and at that stage in relationship I was still quite greater than my share of triggering my psychosis again triggering psychosis again so I chose to take some don’t much like really small dice it enabled me to really witness and hold the intense emotions that would trigger it and that relationship was a very intense challenging relationship gave me the ability to witness and feel emotion and why I hadn’t even had prior and not react to it was I watching the rolling waves coming and fully feeling of adjusting out in it and so that’s when I started to realize I yeah I see that the usefulness of at least a. At this point in time when it’s not something that I just feel like I need to do any more percent but I have used it again and it has thing fascinating to see what unfolds in the nature of the psyche and your reality I’m sorry I just feel like it’s definitely my friends and I’m curious about it but it’s it’s not one of my allies necessarily oh thank you for sharing that yeah I kind of feel like when I was more of Gonzo psychonaut in early stages in my life and I will go pretty far out with that luckily unlike some of my friends who who had the the misadventure The Misfortune to over like literally not to point of causing any physical damage but overdosing on LSD can happen easier than people anticipate and it can have dire long-term consequences and I’m glad that you obviously reconciled and in and had the other skill sets going to worry didn’t just cause long-term issues but I know people certainly and I think we all probably know some people that they weren’t intending to but it’s easy to overdo it and so yeah I’m glad that are you able to to get to where you’re at but I would save myself to I just I learned a lot from it but but as a I guess I’m way more interested in the time-tested shamanic guided and I would say like I I I don’t feel I like to ask you if you feel like this comparing to the other medicines really I think it’s more of a it’s like the nuclear option you know of and it has a lot of risks associated with it I was saying beautiful things can happen but I just don’t feel like there is a a a spirit guide that’s assigned to that medicine from the greater sort of bureaucracy of Spirit guides and I’ve obviously mother Ayahuasca the sort of Grandfather peyote and grandfather which Yuma and then maybe you know giggly Elvish alien creatures for the mushrooms or whatever but still whatever it is there’s some sub something usually there according to my experience is another people were at work but it just feels like with acid there’s just not there’s not a a sheriff of that realm somehow there’s not right it’s just kind of like you’re on your own I don’t know if that’s it maybe you meet God or you get to see the guide her you’ll meet the deities that you studied if you’re very religious but but you could also get jumped by demons and not get your mind back for like this lifetime so my students it’s worth noting went to when I did at the at least I think I had a quarter for 10 it wasn’t even strong stop imported tonight interesting take at it feels like the whole structure of it and it doesn’t feel like there’s any particular guy with it where is cannabis and mushrooms and it was very much feels like I am communing with a being the plant you know I feel that being with me with the communication begins with the intent and withholding the material which is very different psychedelic Jenny it’s the container and the context and the intention and integration the goal of these things that we wreck around it a crucial and we are so many people that have just taken it with what do none of that so that way they do start to encounter these more terrifying aspects of the psyche of the archetypes of the underworld and what if they don’t have a framing or ways to work with it inside that’s when things can get really not like exploring Consciousness even a ground of a triangle that is safe for a psychic how to manage Instagram those are very good points and I actually it makes me think that we have a lot of a lot of policy and a lot of I think good wisdom that says that you should probably not be drinking alcohol or taking hard drugs or psychedelic set at early stages in life before your brain starts to fully mature and what not but this gives me a sort of food for thought that something I’ve never considered that there be like an age range were there be an upper limit bracket is well aware it’s like okay you have to wait till your message to start doing it but then at this age later you better stop doing it cuz it will be more trouble the FBI could do more harm than good I feel like if there’s one substance that for me it’s kind of like yeah have your fun with acid when you’re when you’re invincible and you’re in your you know late teens or early twenties and what not and taper it off over it’s over time because it can be you can be destructive I think more than the necessary and safe I think safer and and as we’re agreeing both have any more guided more support experiences that have been nurtured for thousands of years with you know even if we’re not in the Amazon or in the the traditional ceremony I still feel like the relationships that previous human beings have built have created a sort of like a landing pad pad for those those helper spirits on Earth and who knows with where we’re at with acid maybe maybe that will eventually happen but but it’ll be up to the youngins is there any way not to put it that down hopefully if anybody’s listening this and they are there really strong Advocates of a regular ongoing serious LSD used and then by all means come and represent that that side of things but with all that said I’m curious now can you tell us about how how did the Tantra proper come about into your journey yoga was going to be cheap out of my recovery let me know when the doctors to speak to a concert with some kind of spiritual experience and then I needed to really deep in my yoga practice I did that and ended up teaching started teaching in 2006 when I was asked to teach inside I didn’t get no matter what because I felt that Judy an obligation to my students and I started reading into studying the traditions of John cheever Ray that I really felt like all that’s woman I can learn from because the way that she taught there is something spontaneously in my practice around that time I went to LA in 2010 to do my teacher training was Sheba and she had Christopher Tompkins who was a tantric practitioner in Scola come on that training and Cheech the Tantra philosophy and practice portion of it and that was when I was introduced to Tantra and it just felt like coming home and Chris he gave us this particular practice which is just a daily a very simplified version of a daily practice that he found and he has been collecting from Kashmir primarily like literally hundreds and thousands of tired so he told us his practice and then he also initiated us and at the time I didn’t realize the importance of that I didn’t you know it was just to make it just a site this thing it wasn’t really a big deal so I came home and just keep doing that practice sporadically for about five years still not really going into 6th until I didn’t want people to think that’s what I was doing so I just quietly and I decided I wanted to do a thousand a practice practice to become a master serious as I want to master and ask legal commitment to show up every single day and then I dropped the ball for various reasons. I made it to 617 days and then drop the bull and I’m now on my 15000 days in a row and today is his it’s just revolutionize my experience of yoga my understanding of it of Tantra and it’s initiated such a date process of literally burning through some scars in, like I feel and about a year ago they internal guidance is like a Caillou really stinks this down time for you to step forward and teach it which not quite scary actually because it’s a whole different way to teach it’s a whole different thing that I’m teaching and then I’m transmitting and because I hadn’t had any contact with Chris and I don’t have it at 8 to hear and use a lymphocyte a big part of me was like can I do that if I can get my hands on and studying and living it I guess but I’m not sneaking with a lineage at this point in time but it’s time you need to skip forward again this side over the last year my experience has been enormously and I will and I have been reading every book I can get my hand on on edits it’s been an extraordinary experience to to Really grasp what it was where it came from how is lost as such and what it means to us and a modern lives now how can we practice the coordinates of the tundra Traditions arrives sorry it’s on you being the last stand up and say I know this stuff and I’m teaching the stuff that I’m bringing it through that’s what I’ve been doing to the last how to use well yeah this is very interesting I find it at it’s is I guess it shouldn’t be a surprise but it is it is a surprise I mean I guess the only way I can kind of reconciled is that the Wilderness is a beautiful documentary called yoga woman and it goes into just how much effort women had to exert resisting patriarchy in order to establish schools led by women to teach yoga around the world like it wasn’t it wasn’t it was a man’s a very patriarchal very hyper masculine secret control thing for a long time and then I don’t know why you wouldn’t expect that you would most people not like in the west they think o yoga that’s that that’s that thing that chicks do you know where something is like actually know I was a super you know control tightly-controlled Cult of male priests that were doing this so that they could you know experience forms of advanced practice that required bodies they were basically able to endure these extreme austerities and his extreme really religious Pursuits but it wasn’t necessarily that was very it’s in the very closed off and I I wasn’t too aware of that history somewhat somewhat sensitive to it knowing a bit about tantric history but just that film yoga woman puts a lot of perspective or you’re like while we take a lot for granted about how westernized things have got but I bring that make that point about that film because it’s it’s it what seems to have happened and I love to have your perspective on this but it seems like this false dichotomy between Tantra and yoga or tantric yoga or yoga or however however people want to mix it up it’s basically that the the more fully integrated Township practices for one within Tantra you have a lot of Shadow work a lot of left hand path a lot of black magic and so when I miss my understanding is a basically Christians and Muslims Came In Waves over the course of centuries and in the process of wanting to colonize and take over and exploit the people in the land of course they’re also having this moral Crusade against the darker forms of Tantra and then now in the modern world of India is the more sanitized versions of yoga are all that really remain above ground and then this country scriptures in the country practice is most of the darker practices have been have been at least band and there’s anti black magic legislation that I’ve read about and a lot of the that the Tantra Mantra practitioners are just selling black magic Services as a sort of snake oil saying in the Glorious more profound shaktism and goddess worship and what we would consider to be the more benevolent and benign path of Tantra that we I think in the west kind of whitewash the darker side of it but it’s it’s like it’s like it’s the whole thing was made Taboo in the whole thing kind of got tainted I suppose in in Worcester wrist and the Glorious aspects of it were sort of sanitized and so like I would just keep saying things like the modern yoga that we know on the in the west is basically the the kids version of Tantra because you’re not caught the whole set of teachings that go along with all the chakras in your not taught taught about the sexual aspect of Awakening Kundalini and the end of the ritual worship of the Goddess that like it’s funny because you say I mean I’m just looking at this in a macro sense of the telephone game at the store should a happens with coaches over time and what we end up with in the modern world in the west and it’s like the the yoga that that I have experienced in yoga studios in classes and with the yogis that are really a bad that I’ve met like again as you mentioned you could go almost decades in yoga and never even hear the word Tantra once and you could also and then even more disturbing to me when I did find honcho is that you could go years into Tantra and never hear the word goddess or Shakti so it’s like now I’m very curious and I know this was kind of a soapbox a little bit for me but I’m also just kind of it’s always interesting to me that moment where are Yogi discovers Tantra and then realizes wait a minute what what why was this why was this in the track at the at the at the movie store it’s like behind the curtain that you’re not allowed to go into and then you discover your like wow I’ve been I’ve been missing out or I’ve been I’ve been denied access somehow so I’m curious just if you could talk about with your mind you reconcile these two words and and in your studies what you feel like is the now that you’re teaching how it how do you tell people ask you what’s the difference between yoga and Tantra I mean the first thing I always wanted for defined as what do they mean by yoga do they actually mean Asuna what do they mean by liberacion this is Chris thing I always wanted to clarify mean someone uses the trip between yoga which is half ways to self-realization alliteration and the tools of yoga which included Asana pranayama chanting meditation but deliberation and if it’s basically a phone or text or identified with doing the perfect posture the very thing that’s me to deliver I do is actually taking you deeper and delusion and illusion Chandra is a methodology or an approach to yoga so if y’all get is self-realization Tantra is an approach to self realization and it’s the fast way it’s like the way that cuts through the bullshit need the thing that is most effective most powerful most recent and my I only do it now for physical reasons it’s like there’s no need for any any other capacity Liberation in so yeah can someone asking me about what’s the difference between a month is not a difference between tantrum you’re the one that it’s an approach to yoga and then I also want to clarify that means you’re actually interested or are you interested in joining us because but it’s not Liberation so don’t confuse I really appreciate that you mention how this is the the way to cut through the bullshit and also that it’s the antidote to living in the Kali Yuga because that’s something that I read in very scholarly works on classical Tantra and the you are very rarely hear people talk about that in Neo Tantra workshops that this is a very tactical and strategic set of really designer tools that that are specifically designed in the way that I liked reading about it was this point being made exactly to your point it is for this time that were in which is extra delusional and extra demonic and just as bad as it can possibly be and maybe it’s going to get worse before it gets better so you better have these very effective tools and basically it’s almost it’s it’s the way that I’ve read about it is that I mean to be a little bit rude even I would say that in the the happier go lucky or Golden Ages in the other wheels of the cycles of time they could be lazy and get away with it because they didn’t have as much Flack and they didn’t have as much resistance and they didn’t have to fight back as much so but from those time more more abundant Divinity on Earth and more benevolence in the cycles of time and then they had the time and they had the luxury to cultivate the tools get the tool kit that they were creating for us to use in this time to fight back in to defend ourselves spiritually so it’s kind of like if we can find this stuff on Discover it and work it and put it to use then we can get through this like karmic swamp that were in now and then if we can survive it as a species that we will have as according to the prophecies according to the this this way of thinking is cosmology then you know our progeny will really inherit a more beautiful time of your more beautiful more Golden Era and but it’s cement what we’re just in the the bottle next year we’re in the in this this Dark Age and so it’s just that he has an interesting concept that all this is a gift that we need to unpack you know it’s basically like a it’s like a time capsule or not Time Capsule but it’s basically like a it was as if they they buried these these these caches for us in the scriptures for us to discover and Unearthed and then apply them almost like we’re you know where Navy SEALS or special forces or something of that nature is kind of way I see it so I appreciate that you that you said that for us cuz I think a lot of people they don’t want to acknowledge they don’t that’s too it’s too much Shadow work for them or they don’t want to I don’t want to kill the five or killed be a buzzkill talking about that that part of it or are you using yogurt to liberate yourself right United Liberation is not about making life better it’s about Liberation to about truth about realization and what I’ve noticed is I need a cheap knowledge he’s for working directly with Consciousness so as one’s a wenis and ability to sense the subtle becomes more more refined prices began working with Consciousness for the someone who’s coming into practice who is living there and then in order to become aware of what is happening in Chinle for themselves I guess it’s just an assignment of being able to be a weird one securing on the inside me and I can start to do the most subtle practices near me because of the point that we apply the practice itself is not the thing the print just simply create the conditions needed for the process of dissolving and unwinding to begin to Heaven prices of dissolving unwinding samskaras in comas and that will happen when we learn how to get out of the way and hold the space which is the whole point of the practice the same as the process that creates the conditions for the process of Liberation to be put into action if you will and then we just have to keep showing up and surrendering rating go and letting it happen and there’s something else that is it in the contract that I just come across recently that like because these practices were secret they weren’t in the cheeks the written down but the chicks are only a loser and describe some of the practices they don’t describe the real secret the real case that was just like you said that they would come a time when it was necessary for these practices to no longer be a secret and actually to be spread far and wine and I feel like we need those who actually care about Liberation most secure about waking up they need to know what’s going on for the my need to know what tools to use I need to know I had a navigate there in the world have never got Consciousness and they need to understand what happens psychologically when people begin to dissolve the SAS guys and comments from previous in this lifetime of course as well and that knowledge I think is it just not out there very much at all okay now I think for anyone listening who hasn’t read it acquires many books or baby hasn’t been down this path so far I could imagine that you’re wondering that you would love to hear now I would love to hear can you go into detail about you know if it’s not too much of a secret now that we’re talking about kind of open sourcing this technology and in the modern world so it’s what is your what is this daily practice look like that you’re doing and then you could go to go from there and say describe I would love to hear in your words what is the outstanding difference in the the the tantric practices that that for Liberation that you are teaching that you have learned in your practicing now cuz it’s 8 for me it’s so interesting every time I try to explain what this is I have to start almost from scratch it’s just like such a naturally kind of elusive infinite con concept and so are every person who brings it brings their definition to me I feel like I’m that that blanks later that that empty cup you know so I don’t so I’m not projecting my headline ocean. It is very obvious just reeling to hear how other people articulate this bass you know a very personalized thanks so please but I’ll meet you before we doing this practice at that rate and so the practices is to warm up links with a blockages are for the brace retention and then it moves into a clearing and a diagnostic running a diagnostic in the clearing on the system using State exams at the chakras and placing them placing the Munsters The Sounds in that area is another way inside its checking in to see what’s clear once blocked what’s going on what’s Happening stage three is the disorder of the dates of the practice and this involves mujras and involves Chun Chang and involves visualization and involves invoking the chassis Shakti and Shiva and uniting them in the hospice and that’s the third stage what I’ve noticed is it’s it’s not super intense car has like three things. I’m out of the system out of the field when that is happening which is simply sitting back and watching what unfolds now that you’ve laid the foundation and done all the other stuff so watching the movement of Shakti Kundalini Prana watching at move around your body watching what the bridge does watching the thoughts of flight paths watching the feelings that come out and staying the witness or consciousness of that important really win the dissolving and the release saying in the unfolding that’s when Visions come through strong emotions in Cecil line healing deep trauma order that stuff will unfold and that last part of the practice so it’s so powerful that mean to keep Knology in the more you do it the more it will be in trigger the prices which is the road to innovation it’s beautiful and it brings me back to my first Tantra classes with Rhoda Jordan who is my initiatrix into Kundalini Shakti energy and rotating the spine and using the Moochers and mantras and movements that were dance movements and various expressions and also the guided visualization so I feel like you could come in off the street and have no esoteric leanings be a total skeptic be a total materialist rationalist agnostic atheist whatever and you could have this very palpable introductory-level I call it like a chakra tune-up a chakra tune-up you know like you were getting your Prana oil changed in your getting your. You know your chakra spark plugs kind of reline and what episode people have this and it is it can I think the the Austin is can be like a good warm-up or a good cool down but in the center or the heart of of a tantra yoga experience it is this massaging and moving of the Kundalini Shakti energy and using the sound to activate and facilitate like a a very unrestrained and very unrestricted flow of a tenor he’s so everything seems like it’s some working in concert in harmony to allow that energy to flow with his little obstruction is necessary it goes to the places where it’s needed most and isn’t just being wasted trying to blast through your stiff neck or something like that you know so I’m feeling just to get for people to get a visual of what were what were you talking about what this what all this is like if you had to if you had to explain it to explain this stuff to somebody who is it super scientific rationale extended believe in any of the magical or mystical or Cosmic elements how would you describe the you note to a doctor what what it is that you’re doing or if you had to do you were doing a corporate retreat in there like we need to know what this is going to entail on like a biomedical level could you translate it to those terms could I change my nothing that right b i g u is a lot to do with that option within the sound is vibrational I mean I really just want people to try it to do it but if I needed so I wouldn’t be able to but it also takes medical terms that I do feel like that’s possible now when it probably wasn’t possible 20 30 40 years ago with the way that science is advancing and quantum physics in particular in their understanding of Neuroscience in the wedding Neuroscience is beginning to understand the brain in different ways and met mystical experience and understand that how to change your mind by Michael Pollan and he’s got some great Bryant Brian science in there that looks like it’s just you know the way that people are frightened the world normally feel like science is stronger and stronger and stronger people just going to get on that label is which is going to really help with the spread of these practices when people start to realize how powerful they are as Technologies for working with Consciousness with working with the Brian working with the nervous system all of us. Will you articular that very well yeah thank you I don’t get it I think it is important cuz it said put some point I’m 100% in agreement with you and the way I would wear that to it is to say that it hits the the woo-woo and esoteric and far out practices of acupuncture and acupressure they’ve been completely accepted into the fold of Western medicine now it will at least to the extent that you can you can put that on your you know on your standard American list of therapeutic things that are basically covered with your help with your health insurance is not considered too far out as alternative medicine and so you know if we can take those Meridian is in those energy lines in if there is also the data backing it up because if there’s enough research done in besides that using the scientific method and they can say well even if even if the actual mechanics of it the quantum mechanics are still somewhat elusive at least we know that there are results in those results are measurable and so it can be validated and and recognized and acknowledged and so I think that the tantric healing particula. The trauma healing modalities will eventually get to that point that acupuncture acupressure is and there will be charts of the chakras in next to the anatomy charts in in the doctors every doctor’s office will just have the sound and I think the only thing that I would add to what you said about just trying to bridge that gap for people who may be total Skeptics is that I was fascinated when it was brought to my attention that the the major are crows and there’s obviously debates about exactly how many there are some people say there’s multiple third eye permutation chakras is obviously just as is many different maps of the chakras is there are lineage is a tantra almost but we’ve kind of mostly agreed upon their being seven major ones but basically it’s it’s it’s been noted in end hypothesize that there actually is situated literally on top of or within or basically at least in terms of the the Distribution on the body there pretty much right in alignment with the endocrine system glands and so the pineal gland that all of that basically going going up and down the spine of the endocrine system and that makes a lot of sense because if in the in the chakra system teaching country you’re talking about these essential personality and information processing organs that the truck was our will that’s exactly what these glands are doing or 10th processing intense amounts of information and also really defining and in programming our experience of reality on a chemical level so that’s that’s definitely very interesting to think about that enter play and so this was a really really awesome expiration and just kind of bringing it accident the fundamentals of Tantra but also helping to to put into context the need for a think you’ve given one of the best polemics so far that I have heard on this podcast about why to get deep into the deep the practices and and really the case for taking yoga to that taking the Austin is to the next level of the tantric practices and so appreciate that and I want to say yes so do you want to just spend sometime kind of giving us if you like to share a sort of closing meditation walk us through some of what you would have to offer an in it in a a training you know take your good however many of you several minutes or more you like to give a sort of either a signature meditation or something just completely spontaneous that would be great but and also either before or after give us your final words in your website links and where people can go to get the book and also anything else you want to say about the book anything else UTI you care to say I’ll let you just take over from here yes it’s Six Flags in my siaga it’s a meanwhile of my recovery from that experience Awakening / psychosis and and understanding of what a treaty was so that’s available on Amazon only online book stores you can get on my cell as well and I have a I have a retreat coming up in Mexico September 29th to October 4th at so I can Hotwire it activation plaid Entre for the modern world I will really be able to join this practice we’re going to take him to practice and really looking at how do we embody unconditional love right that’s the awakened heart Unconditional Love and Truth which is the warrior standing in truth and bringing that 4th and 2 + communities because my senses this world is that the more of us that are able to embody unconditional love in penis after the shift will be on the planet and nothing feels more important than that and grounding it and Tantra practice in an understanding of time should I visit a solid foundation the people to take that understanding and stick back into the communities of one of the limitations to do wish I could. Pointed a wenis one that just came through spontaneously once upon a time that I’ve been using for number B is now so whenever you want to have you sitting and standing with driving how if you’re listening to this podcast just bring your awareness to your breathing just starting to notice what it feels like to breathe really noticing the feel of the breath and your nostrils you might feel it down the back of your throat maybe you feel it under your collarbone so and your rib cage possibly all the way down into your pelvis even your tailbone just noticing nursing what it feels like to braid what does it feel like in your body when you breathe you keeping your wenis on your breath also become aware of your whole body whole body awareness in the crown of your head all the way down to the soles of your faith goodnight is saying what the brakes feels like in your body but all such feeling your whole body front of the body back of the body right side of the body left side of the body and just noticing you noticing any Sensations any pain need a duplex for Delaware to bring the way of your whole body Men start to become aware of the ground underneath the Earth maybe getting a sense of sending root down into the ground just feeling what it’s like to sit on the ground on the Earth getting a sense of the soils underneath you maybe having a sense of the Bedrock with a water table deep it down still aware of your breath we are of your whole body Rosa down three play aware of the earth ground feeling yourself reaching down into as deep as you can go and then retaining awareness of breath awareness of body weenus of ground expensive opening up towards the sky beginning to expand your wenis outwit and upwards all the way to all the way to the Earth’s atmosphere beyondmenu all the way to the Moon Beyond maybe all the way to the planets to Sun and even issue expand outward upward to the sky to the infinite Universe still aware of the ground still aware of your whole body and still aware of your breath holding all of them New Orleans Saints All Saint Grant body sky now you sound tourist center of it all even as you remain aware of it all sending out so much love to you all thank you so much being for this opportunity to stake into share thank you so much yes I was beautiful and always appreciate meeting new folks doing this great work and learning new ways of articulating this mysterious technology but this was one of the best one of the best times I’ve had learning and getting acquainted and appreciate it so much and hopefully we will be in touch and you always feel welcome to come back anytime you have things you like to share updates and yeah looking forward to turn off Liam’s sharing and in supporting each other’s efforts I’m going awesome again for you feel free anytime to reach out in the future and I wish you the best of luck in all of your endeavors and will talk to you hopefully soon thank you so much I took care that is a r a l e a h. Com listening to the podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Township Park. Com Thomas Day

Hacking Group Romance as a Porn Director not a Cult Leader TPP200

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In this episode I’m joined by a mystery guest for a wild comedic adventure into the repressed caverns of my erotic mind. She holds enthusiastic and giggly sacred space for me to get on a roll lamenting about the current state of monogapathic culture. She helps me get through a lot of catharsis in exploring my life history of drama and madness surrounding opening up to more inclusive group sexual and romantic encounters. With her gracious support, I’m able to take liberties in the manner in which I share some of my most passionate and taboo-breaking fantasies. With care and consideration for ethics and holism, I attempt to induce a few laughs as I graphically depict my experimental designs for hacking group romance.

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin pillow their beloveds welcome to Township Punk podcast episode number 200 I just got back from an East Coast tour with the punk rock metal band and I’m thrilled to say we had a great time and did very well and I made it back in one piece and this is an exciting episode 200 Extravaganza where are some of my backlog recording this and this was one of the one of my favorite ones that I had to choose from for the episode 200 and I think you will really Joy it is definitely something different it is it is a my first summer unintentional extended comedy monologue with a a wingwoman of sorts and she’s holding space for me to bring forth into a level of of hilarity that I don’t normally I don’t know don’t normally summon and don’t really feel as is often appropriate but once you get on a roll when you start to really stimulate somebody’s Funny Bone verbally then it’s it’s hard not to to just run with his so it may be offencive it may be a little over-the-top and in that what we’ve come to appreciate about that classic stand up comedian form is that you’re able to get away with exposing truths in a very heated very sometimes aggravated state of mind and people cathartically get off on someone else saying what speaking out there are deeper taboo thoughts so if this is the first episode you’ve heard of mine it is definitely uncharacteristic of most of the rest way I tend to joke here and there but really really typically try to be pretty reserved and really focus on a I’m more of a dialogue with a guess this in this case it’s it’s almost completely One Direction all but her being there is absolutely essential in order to get that Dynamic flowing and it certainly in the sense of Comedy it really helps I don’t know how people can just write write comedy in their own inner sanctuary and not have that that reverberation in that that feedback and and dynamic but anyway this is a lot of fun and what we’re talking about what I’m talking about. Manly and she’s helping hold the space for me to really mansplain in an unethical way really is talking about the the bloopers and Antics and Folly and what I’ve learned from attempts to hack this notion of group romance and really learn from a lot of mistakes and really create sort of personal interpersonal living breathing think-tank research experiment out of how to best overcome the limitations that we have in most modern patriarchal monotheistic minago Pathak cultures where our options are very limited and our experience and Expo are two other modes of loving and healing and relating romantically they’re completely systematically cauterized by these Disneyland archetypes of monogamy and whatnot so I get into the higher level kind of macro cultural analysis and critiques and then we get into a lot of really fun really absurd ridiculous and playful visual kind of comedic audioporn take to get through some of the designer ideas of how to how to be hacking group romance and I’m really this is it from my perspective a a male centered male-oriented you could call it phallocentric you could say I’m being a chauvinist here but really I think it’s about making sexual gratification in the feeling of love and connection amongst people be as egalitarian as possible and really work with what you have within your your orientation your identity your group of friends and just explore those boundaries and really gamify group romance and hopefully this really stands is a introductory Treatise on why it’s important to explore these things and what the the payoffs are so hope you enjoy it this is definitely for me one of my top favorite episodes of all time because of where we where we get to in the end of Vibes of it you know I hope that it leaves you rolling on the floor and also curious and also emboldened to take more adventurous steps in the future of your love life all right thank you very much if you’ve been with me along waist episode 200 thank you for for being with me and enjoy this historic episode thank U Namaste and they would not be comfortable with you hacking the storylines of of compulsory monogamy and telling stories very festive stories about what it’s like to like not be in patriarchy and like it she does she know yeah that’s what good for sale teacher reflect a picture or no one’s happy everybody’s miserable and just whining about it new relationships breaking out and being her and then just repeating the cyclist over and over is very defeatist like cry about level of times but at least you’re feeling something at least you’re not a total sociopath narcissist like don’t even care spending to steal it self-inflicted stuff too cuz you just like wanting holding on to like the painful stuff I guess we’re like people that aren’t making like the best for you but it’s sad and it’s like Basin and being married and being screwed if you lose that Financial Lifeline life support so there we have listed this is the in permaculture design Geoff Lawton and it likes to use this teaching to a witches that when it comes to like agriculture what you’re talking about gardening earlier today but it’s like this so if you only plant one crop in a field that’s a lot like fishing with a single line where they know that if that crop fails or that line breaks your your your Sol and so the smart Fisher person would say I let me fish with a net so that if one or even several of those lines break with internet I still have a functioning device here so that’s what you could systems do and that’s why polyculture in gardening and Horticulture polyculture means multiple different phrase things as opposed to monoculture so you can make this analogy very happy to monogamy and monoculture and still what’s resilient in an ecosystem diversity right the more diverse ecosystem the more resilient it is the more flexible adapter is in more abundant and flourishing it is so monoculture monogamy monotony it’s and then that’s why people are living in this wounded heart broken real disaster of a reality and it’s just profit people that make the Laurie handlers cuz it seems like I’m she said in her podcast if this was a easy the country cafe or sex and happiness she said to podcast over the years she makes an excellent point that she’s over his doesn’t not interested in the heartache that sells and wants to crack break your heart open to love everyone pretty much and to have new experiences and to be open to new experiences and so have a very regenerative heart and I would like the concept of being a heart Gardner so like I’m trying to I have not just one heart that I love her that I tend I have a garden that I attend of many hearts and some of them need more attention at times some of them you know every more self-sufficient some of them could tell me to get lasted for cough and don’t even want want me like even looking at them and everything in between so then you know being a heart Gardner and trying to keep them all alive and and not neglect them and be responsible for like letting them Blossom letting them rot on the vine either you know anyway so there’s so much to learn and so much to sing about so sincere singer I’m a singer we’re going to think about this stuff. We also actually I need to have experience to know where the fuck were talking about so that’s where we begin with what where does the authentic Journey actually begin and that’s where we and I just watched Breakfast Club where they were it’s like this painstaking process of socially engineering the truth out of what how and what circumstances virginity was happening or not happening so we all have virginity is two different things even if we popped her cherry City this week so so we’re at the precipice of The Virginity of your experimental lesbianism is it a few dedicated to your not identified as a woman now what do you mean what I mean is that my I’m very interested in the notion of you having sex with a woman if you if you want to sit at one point I was very blunt and I asked you and I risked I risked being considered a British attend to try to do that so it’s basically asking if I’m if you’ve ever had if you would have ever had sex with a woman and if not would you like to and you said you would like to but you like to what you say roll around with me first right I think that’s yeah so that could be arranged so basically you know that’s compromised that’s that’s how you have probably that’s the beginning of it is like what do you need what a minor needs how can we meet in the middle somewhere and so well this is what is so interesting to me and what I am going to share is like my design concept that I put a lot of effort into trying to figure out which is this is that okay if we really break the stuff down what we don’t have what we have a lot of experience of as children is being gently yet with with I would say lowercase authoritarianism weird we are compelled by adults to share toys and we learn against whatever maybe that jealous or envious nature or selfish nature we learn to to actually eventually Delight in the gift of sharing something with others so that we actually realize that there’s this abundance of my face you know it’s not like hopefully it’s not like you don’t eat the toy in the toy is something that doesn’t get destroyed after one use of the toy I’m so that you can hand it on and and let other people experience so what somewhere along the path of puberty we get program to lose that fundamental sociability and Collective position of like the toys that we would be sharing on the playground and once we develop and grow and have her own public Parts in appropriate age appropriate settings to explore Inn Express in which we all know is lacking in this culture and that’s why we have abusive all kinds cuz we don’t have rice passage and we don’t know when we are to do wet when howl with himself in a healthy way or holistic way I should say so we’re we are fumbling in the dark trying to figure this stuff out and somewhere we get cursed with these imprints of monogamy that is compulsory compulsive Naga me bound up in Notions of being a prince and a princess and all of these socioeconomic status oriented ways of like something being mine a person me owning that person this status symbol so there’s I’m not saying anything for you know this groundbreaking to indict these memes and this culture architecture and you know they have spoken to like many people feminists just look at feminist anthropology in the critique of domestication in the in the critique of civilization and patrilineal descent and the the the the way that wealth and land and power is handed down from a meal bloodline Emil name Inlet that’s why you control you would need to control the female sexuality and reproductive freedom in order to guarantee that your son gets your land in and not someone else’s so that’s that’s the patriarchy connection and we want to what super tall that perverted and silver and actually compost the patriarchy is she so I don’t think there’s a there’s no there’s nothing more subversive then then then opening up relationships because once you start buying less because old do do we need to each have our own garage filled with tools from big box stores or can we all share one fucking tool set amongst us all lovers sharing each other’s bodies it’s not rocket science and it’s not rocket science way they have made it so difficult to be relating sexually openly with computers with a peer group and neighborhood of adults because they want us all to be in our little boxes buying one of every that have everything and not sharing anything and therefore it cuts into their bottom line so we are doing our best to compost the patriarchy to be subversive and actually have a lot of fun doing it it’s not a dip revation and sacrifice to have more fun sexually with more people it is a little bit more requisite of time for emotional care and tenderness for sure it’s complicated and it is and is medically important to be but if it’s as if you can play any video game that you play any board game you can gamify Sexual Health in a group you can end in the end not to do bring it to the light and be like okay well we match here like literally HSV expressing in one part of the body can match to that and another person other parts of body and you can pretty much pretty much know you’re safe at that point there’s there’s ways to gamify these things so that you know curses can be blessings in yet make it very used that’s who we need to design the user-friendly interface for people to connect and 4 shame and not even just the end of course the STI status stuff but also people who just have body issues about so we can be mixing and matching his stuff and yeah. There’s an app for it kind of a thing you know in this world so so we’re getting there and you know you pull the card and you know people who so it will and that’s why that’s the reason to do yoga so that you can hold these sexual positions forever because he like baby words said when a man basically two pair of fruit to fear fear for his baby Ward and I’m mixing a couple of I’m adding a couple together of her if you’re beautiful phrases but basically if I were Davey word I would probably say something like if I if I was balls do you know when your balls deep in me I want it to last forever I want your penis in my vagina forever and I can’t Rainman how to make that possible and actually there was a good scene in Jerry Maguire where she asked for him to she’s don’t ever stop fucking me in a kind of like kills the mood when he says I think I’ll have to stop at some point and then they fucking break up with a douche no sorry to tell you I love you tons hear me okay forget about it Interview with the Vampire okay stop me somebody for the cold water on me right now all right yeah it was Saved by the Bell you is just batteries going to last all night long you’re you’re you’re getting okay so it’s yours work as graphic this is where he’s going to get more perverted this is building it up so building and Outdoors like what is it why does this matter that’s why why am I trying to have so much fun packing monogamy and the shame and the pain and the jealousy and the limitation it’s just it’s false it’s completely insane and in deranged and and I will not tolerate it for one more second my life and in that spirit I say I’ve done the boyfriend-girlfriend thing I’ve done in monogamy thing I’ve done a jealousy thing and then a hard brake thing so if somebody enters my life and is attracted to me I go out how this is interesting erotic energy flowing in my direction how can I not manipulated not abused if not not not heard it or harm it but actually let it flow through my little garden design of more pleasure and then also this is the thing where I feel like I’ve made an important hack an important this is because this is been going back to how we learn to share so this is as an adult with adult content adult appropriate settings of course but really bring it down and that’s why I am a huge fan of psychedelic sexuality because it inhibits the neurotic aspects of the ego and if you’re going to trust in space and you have referees and you have good guidance and going on in people are observing and being Sheriff’s that to the boundaries when the people are you know any in there Altered States but would you with the beauty of it is that you get to explore again and you get to explore bodies and he could do store your own body and it’s not a story about who’s owns this and who’s rights to this and fuck where’s all the paperwork and did I swear to it tonight so that’s and it doesn’t have to be an orgy of people fucking very sloppily very carelessly when you get into the tantric practices of massage wherever it’s about it’s really the best things really happen with the most intentional experts killed manual and leading up to of course different forms of penetration with genitals but it’s underrated how much how much pleasure and how deep deep healing we can be with their hands with each other in and really there’s no excuse not to be doing that cuz you’re not going to make babies and they just called outercourse or mutual masturbation went on so that’s where rather than rushing from first base to second base and all of that hyper rush to the Finish Line stuff fit culture this culture is trained to do you actually can start out saying okay it could literally be a fun and fulfilling and safe Friday night for a group of friends 2 take each other to take their clothes off and use their hands to induce different types of orgasms in each other consensually and into explorer that and so that’s where I say the games of politics becomes like whose are you fucking that is long as you if you if you keep that off the table a little just long enough and this is what so at what I have there is like a Zone that is safer emotionally and medically to play in in groups to actually start to rewire and meltdown those belief systems so that you have a clean slate in in your capable of exploring slowly and building on the new Pannu template that you design and we’re very plastic a blank brain can be reformatted we can 3 format is hard drive as many times we want there’s no limit to it and we were it’s absurd to think they were stuck in a 2000 year old paradigm I’d rather be in a 200,000 Euro Paradigm cuz that’s where the real phone was happening anyway but we’re going to get to the Primal Anarchy of lovemaking groups in just a minute now so break here’s how we break from breakthroughs goes invisible prison cells in our minds about monogamy and so I figured it out like how I would like to conduct a ceremony words like okay this is my penis here and there’s people that want to play with it and put it in different parts of their bodies and hopefully have a good time with it and if it really like Gibson gets them there and brings them there and then delivers the goods then they will become deeply deeply addicted to that experience and Anna on a level that is that is beyond any extreme passion of any terrorist has any ideology the amount of passion that and I would say a woman from in my experience the level of chemical spiritual just that’s what we should be living for men who love who love women is like for them to be taken so far out and so far in that they will want to kill other people who take threatened to take that experience away from them I every other women that you’ve ever known that you might never know so that’s where we have this conundrum which is like it is so good like I want you to be obsessed with me but I do not want you to be obsessed with me you know cuz that’s right cuz I’m going to kill myself if you’re not obsessed with me but I’m going to run away from you and run into the street if you’re obsessive me so either way I die do you know yeah and I had to run in the street to avoid women who are obsessed with me and it’s no joke cuz otherwise I would have thought they didn’t love me if they weren’t a homicidal maniac it’s right so there’s a way to disperse that energy and it’s like oh wait a minute he’s fucking me but I’m making out with a woman and looking into her eyes and who do I lose what it oh my God is I don’t know who is fucking me right now but it feels great and I agreed to it like I signed off that anyone can fuck me tonight with this and that and this so like I don’t know who to write the check to you know what I mean like anymore it’s just too much just don’t stop so I’ve been there and I’m never going back to the the the hell rounds it is about diffusing that pleasurable experience across so many different Souls that it’s impossible to Tribute it to one person and really I believe that this is not an astoundingly long wide penis that I have that I think is perfectly shaped to do what it was designed to do and I’m happy with it whatever yeah I’ve gotten good reviews so far in life women who wanted to kill other women because they were so possessive of this thing that it’s just like always wants to do is just be warm and wet and love them that is so I have a beloved partner and you know I would kiss your boobs goodbye and tell him to be good every day knowing if she was like why I never did anything bad to anybody ever and I realized that was the pure essence of innocence is Brett’s cuz like you can never say that they ever do anything bad to never manipulated anybody they never play games with anybody they just give and give and give you know so anyway that’s another story if we could only all aspire to be as innocent as a breast but never do anything to hurt anybody ever never had to be told to be nice just what is nice you know x-ray sexual Zen state that people would have to meditate for years if they didn’t eat mushrooms to figure that out like become a breast and live in the consciousness of breast in this and just experienced pleasure and give pleasure and don’t fucking overthink it you know it as long as everybody is of legal age and sound mind and knows what they’re signing up for essentially we can work out the details but I’ve been in those moments where it’s like yes what’s making this woman lose her mind and ecstasy is 80% the emotional connection with other women that she is sharing and then I am there to be basically a prop to the beautiful. Theater of feminine understanding and that is when I understood For the First Time The futility of women trying to squeeze blood from a stone to make bullheaded dumb men who would rather be playing video games or breaking shit or glowing sit up or doing something fucking mindless and heartless for fun and just acting them and making them be a woman when they’re not a woman because they can’t explore sexual intimacy with other women because they’re afraid of the taboo of lesbianism and because it would be against the rules and whatnot so when melted down and was in a sensor Moniz were psychedelic ceremonies wear them all of these stories were melted away and it was just women in fucking ecstasy the agony and ecstasy and using my cock is a prop but also as an energetic current in a source of love and that my refinement was allow me to be in that space and I realize that it’s like it is so cumbersome to be responsible for a woman’s orgasm in a love making session why would I want all of that burden on myself it’s like I have to at my age I have to think about not coming too fast beat not losing my erection and in trying to make a sincere emotional sincere present connection with the person who I am kissing is with that is enough for me to have to do it now I’m responsible for her squirting and I like coming in the same say when I saw the leveraging of all these other women and how freely flowing the orgasms come when the openness in the connectedness is there with other women so so like I said I’m not taking a step back and now if anybody wants to come at me they’re going to have to go through that that ate a form of of grade school of learning in or black ass like that you’re going to come at me do you want to fuck me you need a black belt in loving me to get in and if you go into any Karate Dojo they’re not even said hey I want to do what you do can you hand me your black belt right now please here I’ll give you a beer can I buy you a beer and then you give me a black belt no stupid you’re so stupid Bibb so what was the quote from the movie UHF which is very a so you definitely watch UHF to understand where my sense of humor comes from but yes I’ll good good so so we’re solving this problem and creating these designer experiences and so what I realized is that the impulse for a woman to have this one-dimensional relationship with a man’s cock so that she wants to possess it so as you’re a very own the way for me to logically very very simple-minded lycee what is the how do you prevent that is to say well you will learn to get to know my cock at exactly the same time as another person and you will only have a 50/50 relationship with whatever you do you say like you would with your best friend and I had her saying in people may not like to hear me say is cuz it sounds good feed it to your best friend first feed it to your best friend first and I didn’t even think about the secondary effect of that which for me that was just that was just like I’m going to know that you’re not going to lose your mind with jealousy when you can just say here actually you can I’ll let you go first so that would be the the the tantric taboo test of transgression against yourself like that Siri you’re going to lose your mind will feel into that and start simple we’re going to dance together and you’re going to watch just that and is that make your blood boil what happens after your blood simmers down do you start to like so now it’s like whatever that point is where that demon comes out of jealousy you were going to rub the shit out of your clit until it goes and tell you what you’ve you become a demon Whisperer with your clit and me and everybody just wants to create more and add more locks to the fire and you transmute that negative emotion into a positive motion and then in the probably will be called conversion the opposite we don’t have a word for it we do not have a word except for that one which no one knows it set designer neologism but we don’t have the band singing about how good it feels to watch their wife get fucked by Adam Ant And so yeah here we come back full circle so we will be so we’re going to we’re going to have these experiences we’re going to sing about it and and so this is the this is the what the the the climax of this conversation will be in my opinion is is when I talked about how the it’s not just a theoretical Gaiden guiding principle to say oh yeah we’ll will like yeah okay you flip a coin and I have sex first with the person who wins that round and then I stopped having sex with you and hopefully it didn’t lose my wind in 5 minutes cuz I was so fucking turn on by the sexy after they all I got another $5 and it’s over for me for like they’re already like forgot every system anyway cuz they’re tearing each other inside out and everything and I’m just watching and trying to like make it come to live again and finally it will eventually but you should know I’m getting That’s The Hampsterdance the Tantra hence the sexual Jedi Knight training so that you can breathe breathe through and in have the orgasms without losing the love don’t be a 5 lb jump so hit the two feminists so I think I’m going to say okay if she’s dying to give me a blowjob then like we time it for like okay like we’re going to play your favorite song and it’s going to be about the same equal thanks to to her favorite song and you going to eat each other’s favorite songs and I’m like hold each other’s heads and massage each other and just be like holding each other from behind and Miss Priss massaging each other that they take turns but there’s still a potential in that for for jealousy to arise in forever and for it to be I mean I just thought of a way to actually literally short-circuit everything in a really beautiful elegant circuit and so here is the design and I will try to verbally explain unless they can so I love the idea of two women’s hands clasping together around my cock and massaging it gently up and down as they face each other and our eye gazing intermittently so the visual so far is is that the dear beloved goddesses or I are facing each other so actually agency kneeling I’m I am laying on my back and they both are kneeling with their literally as clothes into my armpit is possible so that I can reach Below in between their legs and butt so I can have a hand on each clit and vulva fingers is a good middle finger on the clit and to end so if I’m cuffing the vulva and able to use my longest middle finger to be stroking the each clit simultaneously in patterns you know singer sew and I’m basically playing streams is like playing guitar and make a solo I’m playing shift I have this is because the end of vocalizations or what I’m tuning for it you know so so it isn’t this beautiful instrument of a playing these two young hearts that are kissing each other and like I gazy and exactly is so I’m making sure that they’re not feeling left out in that apartment while I’m being stimulated and everybody is being stimulated sexually and everyone is feeling a part of a closed circuit that is meeting everyone’s needs and in and there’s no favoritism there’s no hierarchy the really so thin and if anything I am as the man in my back and that is what time trick Kali worshipping actual full fully pornographic and I hesitate to use that word was fully glorious erotic depictions of the circuitry of how this stuff works so if it’s if you’re not approve any 3 I mean if you’re not so sexually stunted then you would just understand that these icons are just road maps to the spiritual terrain of understanding the energetics of Shiva Shakti god goddess energy so we’re designing with that and we’re creating a maximum hydraulic energy flows in in in a way that is very egalitarian actually inhibits the growth of the ego and that sense of so-and-so I’ve experienced this in not that exact formation but that’s why I aspire to be a porn director so that I can I can work with people who are very comfortable taking Direction and are not going to lose their minds and so I actually had this conversation today they’re what makes me not a cult leader and what prevents me from ever becoming a cult leader is this one fundamental thing right but I have to study cold it is to know how not to be a quote later cuz otherwise I would just be cranking out so much Kool-Aid day Kool-Aid would have to invent a time to punch flavor you know I got to be sponsored by Kool-Aid the Kool-Aid man oh yeah it would have it I make my own Kool-Aid Man Township anyway after dark okay I wanted how they’ve not sued like I have all of the libelous memes and they feel bad for the Kool-Aid guy I didn’t fucking poisonous people man I don’t mean to be making fun of them and I really got to get serious about not making a joke out of the people who died in the massacre Crazy Eights it’s it’s it’s public domain now to make a joke to either the expression people say don’t drink the Kool-Aid it’s because people at Jonestown were by a charismatic cult leader who was it was an extremely right with it skips a generation maybe but that’s how memes get formed yes so I mean that’s how they sort of deprecated the roots and you say things that we don’t know how does the reason we’re numb it so they don’t drink the Kool-Aid means don’t consent to a groupthink. Virus that makes mass suicide be acceptable and so they poisoned the Kool-Aid punch and that’s how everyone can scented make give it to their kids and everyone is like this is fine and some people try to protest and they were silenced and some people try to run away and it was a nightmare and it was absolutely what I would I must not allow myself to become as a priest that uses sexual mind manipulation and coercive tactics to trade love and affection attention and orgasm for 4 unquestioning devotion into the point of suicide so that that’s the extreme case that that we that is a litmus test for if you were going down that slippery slope but I actually tend to want to study the mental illness of sociopath sociopathy narcissism and I would like to consider myself a benign I’m the benign narcissist I know that that is a character flaw that I am not how we going to like defeat by doing the past limitations as many times that night and I’m going to roll with it and I’m going to say yeah I will be like Howard Stern and I will be I’m going to if I’m going to be this personality I’m going to make a bonsai tree out of my own ego if I can and have other people help in the process but but things going going back to the to the cult thing and what me what gives me the authority to design this orgasmic Orchestra what why and how do you not just become a colder than soy everyone you meet is basically in that on that game board now how am I going to manipulate you to be in this in this position that I would like you to be in to fulfill my fantasy of engineering all this town truck stuff and and if I’m if I’m this is well that’s spit out the Kool-Aid don’t swallow I think what we’ll get to that for sure that’s going to be a we’re going to get to that but can’t forget that we’ll save that for the for the most triumphant moment the climax is when we’re going to use that it’s so precious now after it’s been built up so ever since a joke that’s going about 2 it’s going to explain come on your face it’s going to come on yesterday and you’re going to beg for it and so hits is it is I’ve had people beg me to come in the third eye and it was hard to resist but this is going to be almost as good as that sharing you this one liner inside joke and just a minute but to wrap up this sort of dark out thing that we were doing with the coal thing is that it how do you know how do I hedge against being the creepiest man every like people think that Barney the purple dinosaur because he and forgive me if I’m butchering the facts here but as far as I know he’s doing what I considered to be taboos for me which is charging women money to have sexual penetrative intercourse with them above all without protection and making that into a to me that’s not a scalable business model and you can ask your doctor wife but Barney I mean I get it and I get that that’s the love thing being cultivated generated so I think I don’t know whether I consider that good pressure bad press for modern Neo Tantra or what not but I’d love to have them on the podcast I’m sure it’s going to happen and I can’t say that I was a fan of the art form of Barney the purple dinosaur but but but I would love to get to the full story and also talked about the ethics and this medical the medical duty of care that comes with sexual and pinch of intercourse with anybody so anyway that’s the sad but who were talking about okay what if you were intrigued and maybe turned on by me talking about these erotic circuit boards then you also have to be somewhat red-flagged and starting to cringe and go where how old is this get arranged in what are the incentives and how do you how do you manage the Eagles and how do you who’s in charge it’s like you can’t it’s a scary thing but you wouldn’t work but that’s why when I went when I say what I realized for me the aha moment in my sexual career was that if I want to have out-of-the-box sex I have to pay lots of money for it from professionals who have trained her nervous system to do theater performance of sexuality as escorts or as Dom’s or as porn performers because they’re good sports they’re not spoil Sports about any of the stuff for the most part if they’re treated well and respected and then contracts are here too and they know what they’re getting into and hopefully they’ve matured and hopefully their brain has developed to its full capacity IE the age that it takes to actually I don’t say that to you exactly so you better know there’s a dimension of Ethics when it comes to harvesting teenagers for your for whatever Annette and I have had some of the best sex in my life as a 30 year old being fucked up fucked senseless by teenager in a row in a monogamous relationship and I will I will tell you that it’s it some it was worth the daddy issues that I had to deal with it was worth reparenting her and it was worth every bit of emotional kind of awkwardness that there wasn’t some of the an Amex because she was such a good full spirited Prime late night it was funny cuz I was like I want to settle you down and basically like I could teach your making a kid with ADHD sit in class is like no she wants to fuck wildly she wants you to perform more than you possibly ever could even at 30 and and she and she is not she doesn’t need these esoteric practices too heavy multi-orgasmic she’s fucking coming or brains out like so hard and I and I couldn’t sit her down the aisle still enough to do any of the practices that I thought were going to be so enlightening and went in the great thing is is it a fuck it like it is certain point you just say no guru there’s a song about it’s like no guru no no scripture No play just in the Dow of the thing so anyway so that’s a side note to say there is a sacred place for adult for fully mature brain develop adults to be having sex with teenagers and and I know that it can be done because I’ve done it but it also takes you can’t just treat them like a commodity please you got to you got to think about pedagogy Nikki learned from the person that you’re teaching teaches you things to like a circle so then so we’re talking about these ethics and where I wanted to just close that point about how I do my best to not be a cult leader I thought I figured it out pretty simply and correct me if I’m wrong but basically it’s it’s I dare you to to indict me for the the criminal and civil liability of misconduct for for for structuring a certain way so this is how I this is this is very simple as this is like this I said that this is a different the difference from a cult leader is that I’m a porn director I pay women to be directed and then I pay whoever I want to I will I will I will choose performers who I resonate with for whatever we would like to do together to make beautiful art and and I will compensate them and pay them to take time out of their lives to be a part of my design and to be directed by me they’re not paying me for healing for enlightenment for direction for guidance and I’m directing them and Meghan gratifying myself and taking their money in convincing mind fucking them and taking more of their money and more than money until they don’t talk to their friends because of and that’s how Colts are basically extractive from their students the colors are extracting from their devotees the difference is how many colors do you know that actually give their devotees money I will pay you oh now I’m making corned a porn director and I am more karmically correct than the fucking Guru who is fucking having people kiss his feet and take your money so who would have thought that the corn directors were the most enlightening Yogi’s to ever attempt to be divine and I have my favorites and I’m a fan of some of them I want I want to see the names but right now but that cuz I wouldn’t want to leave any out you know what I mean bless you all for paying people to direct them into your Twisted fucking fantasies and giving them that dignity like hats of their not wondering about it cuz there’s that was having a conversation today it’s like a buyer’s remorse if I say to you I’m just saying if you remember when you had to if you were old enough to know that there was a day when when when your allowance equals one CD for $15 so humorous if you never had experience this is important I think this is important teaching is important teachable moment is that is that and I don’t want to be today. Take care no man’s planning anything in them to have fun here but this is like this is this is late so here’s the funny thing though you think about I remember what it was like when I had to convince myself that amusing that a CD that fucking sucked was actually good because I paid money for it and I would not let myself suffer the indignity of having made a mistake so I was in a state of denial and delusion so so so feeling this isn’t meditation okay everybody think of something that you paid money for that you discovered was in the zoo is suboptimal and you used mental gymnastics to convince yourself that you actually liked it even though you knew deeply that you didn’t like it but it was called buyer’s remorse it was called the sunk cost fallacy of sunk cost fallacy is that because you invested something into this you have to continue beyond the point of no return because you can’t live with yourself other ways so that is this Twisted perverse placebo effect that happens when it’s like I went to the sex guru to get healed and he said for 9999 I would get here and but I but I could also upsell to the bonus extra double healing deluxe super Cosmic Crystal trademark excetera right thing and try before you buy money back guarantee accessories that you’re all of his legal he’s in fine print all the stuff but there is but that’s where it is we’re expecting to have some result that you paid money for and you will question whether or not okay did I was a hole in my heel did I pay enough money to pay more and some money and it is it distorts things and you did it it did contaminated in a way for that so I’m skeptical that I can be done right in that sense and that’s just me so what I say let’s work in the garden together my time equals your time and now we’re planting trees equals an hour of Yoni massage your prostate massage and therefore it’s a flat equal everybody has the same it’s his first come first serve you know and orgasms for work shirts that was my hand jobs for Humanity and helping a tree with two or so you’ll see it yeah it’s a white paper was written so is he ever gets faster so so that’s how I’m not going to be a cult leader is that I’m not going to charge people money to be Pawns in my game of or are you going to be players in my Game of Thrones Township Township twister you will get paid handsomely to be in my theater my game of Township twister and you can quit you can get any time you know that’s that’s that’s the thing to you won’t be like oh if I walk away now you know that then where I’m not like what I paid for I’m I’m already invested so much forever so so many different dynamics of of incentivization happening in this thing is so anyway that that was I think it is important to lay that out and and this is probably the first time I’ve articulated it on the podcast but I just was having this conversation today with this answer the CD metaphor thing where it’s like you know it did that it’s it’s a problem that way so so that’s I will not be extracting money from people in that in that way I’d rather pay them to be in my in my Productions and feel better about it that way so getting back to the fun stuff in the production itself so imagining that that would be the way from now on where I’m like if you want to that’s basically what I just described about that circuit of three people as a minimum to starting point is like that is the that is first base now you know that’s first base because getting into the circuitry of actual intercourse that’s where it required that’s where we get into the medical the medical responsibilities aspects and we get into more of the karmic sharing we’re really swapping scum he’s on an astral level at that point more so than if it’s an outercourse thing and you can’t go back once you know I don’t want to sound like a prepaid only sound like a six- future but but they were right about this mean you’re not wrong about everything they’ve had no sex for anybody ever. Is not the solution to people having sexually transmitted demons running rampant all over the place and it’s about making them your friends and making them work for you not against you and making them expose themselves properly and in you know where it’s not a pure realm we are not going to be perfectly protected in fear we can strive for that and we can use Kundalini and Prana and mantras and all of our medicines in purgatives and things to create a cleaner vessel to make more harmonious more resonance more signal-to-noise ratio and that is what to me this is all about and why we are missing out so badly to not be like I see this if God is wanted you got it for not created to nipples I can’t suck both nipples at the same time I tried some women I can do it on I’ve done it and you can do it some women is possible but for the most part so what does that mean what are you do do you limit God or do you just find someone else to be on the left or right side of you you know what is the big deal so when I think about this math equation how many erotic how many out of the box meaning not really the selective like subjective nuanced little erogenous zones that people get overtime in our lives but the out-of-the-box everybody is wired this way count how many erogenous zones you have and how what is the minimum number of mouse penis and genitals or fingers are human appendages required to simultaneously stimulate all those places it’s more than one person I can tell you that much you know so I just want us to start there and be creative in 2N to learn how to understand that we’re missing out and we should be wanting to gamify maximizing human potential for orgasmic pleasure because that is exorcism orgasm equals exorcism in some cultures who are Les Les Mis Sara Lee poetic about the floury discourse of symbols about sex life like a Latin American Shaman is said about her sexuality in the end in her how she explained why monogamous marriage was not really a thing in a culture that permitted extramarital sex and it was that in her mind and I am not going to say her name to cool her but I will say to paraphrase the essence of this wisdom is that to her mind it was just like an orgasm is like taking out the trash and that is not that’s not to say that it is mundane or a chore it is that it is a responsibility of hygiene in your household of your body Temple you need to have orgasms they need to be fulfilling need to get the job done and that is the exorcism aspect of it so the howling screeching all of these things that are considered that witches were burned forming figli sounds that those are the sounds of actual Holiness the set of holy the sound of Holiness is a woman’s orgasm and so let’s make those come more abundantly and let’s utilize map map the erogenous zones out of the box and then map the additional ones that are my favorite song and when you talk to me like this and this certain place I’m in the back of my head there whatever and then everyone has their own map so we can learn each other’s maps and if you don’t know your own map then you can ask people to help you there’s people who would love to lick and kiss and touch you and head to toe to find and explore you and and from a breasted state of consciousness D nice and yes I like to will you bring out the best in me that’s all I think that’s all you guys add that I can’t top that is the way to end so then really that was we didn’t even know that we put the icing on the motherfuking cake by saying you bring out the Best in Me so there was a documentary about at the peak of my desire to become a a rock star in the the crust Punk metal genre grindcore all that fun stuff I was studying that I wanted to understand and clock the music industry so I was watching every documentary I could find understanding music marketing and all the stuff and then I found this great documentary about about Jimi Hendrix and and I believe it was his fiance at a time who later became his wife if I remember correctly and she was talking about the time where he was building momentum and getting lots of gigs but still underground and she said something that stuck with me forever and if this moment which is it basically the hidden tension was used turn Express yeah we we all knew he was going to get sign or we all knew that you was going to take off he was going to blow up and so she said it was just about if someone puts put the icing on the motherfuking cake you know and I know and I felt that we we’re ready for that and we did some we had some we had some ice and get put on a motherfuking cake we did you get you always want more but I look back and I don’t think we could handle more so we got what we got and now I’m on a different I have a different cake I have a different cake mix and I don’t know if it’s that time I don’t know if it’s time to put the icing on the cake or not yeah I don’t know I mean the cake it’s getting cold she heard it mean if you’d if anyone has icing out there can it please be stevia-sweetened go Steven Johnson I don’t know how to hack them will work on that today I know it’s actually what I heard is that it’s a weird additive that they used to cut it because it’s so super sweet that you would basically died of sweetness if you didn’t like the step on it with some other things so I think that’s why I love growing Stevia and having a leaf to munch on and put in the tea because then you know is nothing else being put into it and it’s just as powerful you don’t really need to if you had the the live leaves one leaf enough will be enough to knock your head off for an hour so yeah I know on that snow yeah we’re going to put this devious fresh leave puree motherfuking icing on the cake I will put the icing on my own motherfuking cake that reminds me in 1 minute I just when I thought we couldn’t go out with a bigger bang this is going to be at because there was a a ritual ceremonial I called we called apart emoni where was the Psychedelic birthday party and we smeared cake all over each other and had to basically devour for the birthday gal of her own cake and it was just nipples and asses and I wanted to be in after from there I was my breasts Elsa. Playing for sure that brother and brother best me for sure but that when I got to put the icing on cake my damn self so don’t let anyone fucking tell you that you’re not none of me if you feel like it I mean I think we’re done I just can’t I’m going to fucking drop my phone right now when I might drop my phone on the couch citizen of the count but oh shit it’s next level add icy Cipher geise that’s going to have some cake with that icing okay thank you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.drudgereport.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and if you want a podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been at Tantra Punk. Com Thomas Day

What a Shaman Sees In the Souls of Mobile App Millenials with Christina Pratt TPP191

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Christina Pratt picIn this episode I’m joined again by one of my most revered shamanic practitioner Christina Pratt, this time for a discussion about the effects of social media and other mobile apps on the development of the psyche and soul. She shares a wealth of insights into the multi-dimensionality of the issues and provides guiding lights of hope for how we can be in right relationship with our techno toys and tools.

We both share a sense of deep appreciation for the ancient technology that is the natural human imagination stimulated by nature, direct contact with the spirit world, and the experience of spoken story.

Please visit her websites at:
http://whyshamanismnow.org/
http://lastmaskcenter.org/

About Christina:
Thirty years ago with, a full cosmology of spirit help, Christina, brought forward The Cycle of Transformation, an extremely challenging, four-year training in the shamanic skills needed to create the New World in our time. She is the founder and primary shamanic healer at Last Mask Center (www.lastmaskcenter.org) in Portland, Oregon and the author of the two-volume set, An Encyclopedia of Shamanism.  Christina’s international, live-Internet radio show, Why Shamanism Now, offers over 350 hours of free podcasts on the practical application of shamanism in the archives at (www.whyshamanismnow.com).

AI Generated Transcription:
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear beloved welcome to Township hunt podcast episode 191 I’m being joined Again by Christina Pratt who is one of my greatest most respected heroes in the shamanic community and a very prolific author and educator and practitioner and has training programs and and lots of amazing things that that I hope to Avail myself with some point in the future for now I’m just a big fan of her podcasts and MC bless this podcast back on episode number 125 but I was called demystifying the mechanisms of shamanic healing and it was a great intro to her personal background and her work and we got into some really core foundational Concepts within shamanic healing and I feel like that’s a really one of my favorite episodes of please do go back and listen to that for reference to Cristina’s work in more detail and to give a bit of a context for why we’re speaking again now a really it the inclination I had to reach out to her again to do another podcast it came within a couple of days of when I pretty much deleted all of the social social media applications from my phone and could give myself a real juxtaposition of how rigged up my nervous system had become an is addictive dopamine cycles of refreshing thing clicking on things and trying to keep up with the Joneses and on social media and how just absolutely perverse it felt and how Aunt it’s antithetical to my my values my deeper core values is like from deep ecology and Ann turkel primitivism in Neo luddism and things that were a lot easier to attach to as as political ideologies before everybody sort of got pushed and sucked into this this hyper cyber eyes the Internet connected world that over the last 20 it’s just sort of been this creeping phenomenon and so with his breath of fresh air I said all I got it I’ve got to ask Christina Christina to come on and talk about what a shamanic perspective from her perspective would be really more of a multidimensional perspective on what’s happening to our souls and what’s happening to the fragmentation of ourselves as we get sucked into these networks and then they betray us and all of the sort of issues that are coming up around humans relating human sexuality human self-esteem and answer character building and all these things I’m sure I just knew she would have a lot to say about it and so I’m excited to to have you back Christina and thank you for joining us again and if you would please give us one of your beautiful kind of incantation introductions help us get censored in the moment so we can look straight to look at these these issues from a good place alright alright engine tations alrighty then take a nice deep breaths and bring your awareness into your mind and another nice deep breath and sink your awareness into your heart and another nice deep breath and exhale and sync your awareness down into your belly and from your belly imagine your ability to reach down deeply into the center of the earth as if you were a lotus flower floating upon upon your little lily pad with your stem reaching down into the center of the earth and connecting deeply into the Earth and drawing up nourishment and Rejuvenation from the Earth and then without rising up and out of your head let’s just stay here in our bodies and let your awareness rise up that stand into the leaf of a lily and into the flowers of this Lily and as as the Lily that you are just opens here radiant and resplendent in your your simple beautiful blossoming Beauty allow the Rays of the Sun or perhaps you prefer the Rays of the Moon perhaps Starlight let this energy come down and touch your pedals and your lily pad and let yourself be open and receiving of the radiant energy from above and then just allow yourself as these above energies bra in the blessing and protection and the below energy straw up your nourishment and Rejuvenation that these energies kind of mix and merge there in that flower let that flower be present in your own belly I’m with another nice deep breath just have a sense of reaching out to the energies around us that we are here in a world that is alive with Spirits many many different kinds of spirit energies or life-force energy has many different frequencies however you want to think about it and just let yourself be present in this world relationship to other things and yet aware of where you end and these other things begin let that radiant Lily that you are have it space and be sure that you feel strong in yourself to take that space to show up to be here to take space be present in your life and to come into an even closer knowing of why you’re here what has value and meaning in your life and make sure that you lived this day in a way that serves those things that have purpose and meaning and value to your own thank you so much for that that was a beautiful a beautiful Journey I’ve been in the journey Space 2 degree now thank you for taking us there and I guess I’d like to ask there’s a couple of a couple of aspects one would be your personal thoughts and musings on just the evolution of communications technology throughout your life experience and acceleration and just your your lens on on that on that process and then and then we can talk about hopefully what in your practice working with people what you’re seeing is sort of the the case studies of people who are struggling with the the rapid acceleration of these Technologies and I’m curious like what’s showing up on your caseload so to speak and your classes whether it’s your clients are your students what you’re observing within the next Generation as as younger people are really being formed and shaped by the stick by the technologies that we can talk about how does that sound podcast and the way in which listeners who took it seriously many of them because I guess they felt they needed to that was that lonely person on the you know oil rigs in Alaska are some sort of cracking place or somewhere where they’re really frustrated with the situation that they’re in and they feel alone there in it being able to reach out to podcasts like yours like mine and to receive some sort of Lifeline that could keep their soul alive in these sometimes remote I’m sometimes not necessarily remote but some of Solace places that people can find themselves few days and people took some of these shows and frankly some of them did more with a sequence of podcast and some of my students doing my for your truck really interesting letters from different people I won’t go into all the details with the point of all of that was they taught me that we can use the technology in a good way and then when we do that it’s it can be a Lifeline to people and so that’s really inspired me to be willing to explore and not just say this is ridiculous why are we bothering would be really easy for me to say so so that’s the first Pieces Just Two recognizing that technology isn’t a replacement for what we don’t have it extends what we do have that’s how I tend to think about it so the podcast for example extend my reach as a teacher to to speak to people but also even Define people to resonate as student to that piece of information that’s shared in that podcast is that the same as studying with me for four years of course not but doesn’t mean it’s not a thing in its own right and so so the podcast allows that extension of the teaching eye because of the podcast and the audience that created I I took a step into teaching some of the things that I teach in online classes and online classes allow me to teach incrementally in a more natural whey versus always sees intensive download experiences when you come for a weekend or week and do everything all at once and still allows for a more organic step by step learning experience and so there’s even some advantages from the online learning and so these are just two examples of using the technology that is present and in a sense if I use the teaching example I didn’t really start doing it until the technology evolve to making it easy for us to offered live so that there could be alive components cuz that’s the piece that’s always what we already are it can be a great value where we use it to create something we aren’t or to spill avoid in our lives or to create something that we don’t already have we enter into a more addictive or codependent relationship with the technology or simply using the technology amplifier false self which we do a good enough job on our own we don’t need amplifier problem so so a lot of it then boils down to what is our relationship with technology and how are we using it and are we educating ourselves around the technology itself so so that to me is kind of the key place of being in right relationship with it now if we take that it just a step further make a circle back if you want to but a step further is recognizing that in Shamanism we actively engaged in in making the our relationships with everything around us real mean Shamanism is based in animism everything around is alive with its own kind of life force and that the way for us to be in the world respectfully is to is to honor and recognize those other life forces and do our best to be in relationship with them and there’s a series of podcast with Kelly Harrell is another amazing practitioner in North Carolina and shamanic practitioner and she and I have been talking about the influence masses of humanity can have on larger spirits so we’re particularly talking about spirits of the culture and of the land and of different places in this but the the gist of those conversations was the realization that our life isn’t sort of the way it’s presented through core Shamanism like the spirit world is this fixed thing and we can go visit there and basically no matter how we trash around we won’t break anything but what Kelly and I were saying is that that’s not what we’re experiencing and exploring in these toxins that that’s not really real that we are in relationship with the invisible world and that over time it is possible for us unintentionally or intentionally to begin to influence it in other words we can play very heavily on an energy in our environment to the degree that that energy in our environment eventually morphs or adjust in some way to to respond to our sort of giving it a responsibility that it isn’t supposed to have in so my point in bringing that up because it really speaks to how Humanity in its worst manifestations affects the world around us even those energies we would go to to seek help to get out of our worst manifestations you know so that should put a raise people’s red flag and there are there awareness of we don’t really have the luxury to be as messed up as we want to be for as long as we want to be taking as many lifetimes as we want to learn how to be a good human we really need to get with the program so that’s my little subjects there but the point of technology is what I what I realized after these calls with Kelly and I are the podcast with Charlie I thought oh wait a minute Christina you are in relationship with the spirit of technology in a bigger and bigger way in your life and in your work as weird as that is given that all of your work is Shamanism you need to get right with your in your relationship with the spirit of Technology and as I was getting ready to do the first online class I really saw clearly up our object for the spirit of technology and each of my classes We Begin by acknowledging the spirit of technology and asking it to support us but also asking it to grow up with us asking it to come it’s a young or our current technology that you and I are specifically talking about technology like a hammer or a Wheel Technologies electronic mostly computer-based internet-based Technologies is a relatively new and so they’re kind of Adolescent and they don’t really know if you think about it as a spirit it doesn’t really know who it is yet and that if we could come to it intentionally and with you know real Spears love and our heart and help to to grow it up as we might grow up a adolescent child with incredible power and really ask the spirit of technology to work with us to find out how it takes its place in the web of life as something that supports the web of life now we are not very good at that either right we’re kind of a pain in the existence of the web of life right now on the planet and it pretty big way and so in a sense we both need to grow up humanity and Technology need to grow up to understand how to how to take their rightful place in that Web of Life in a way that supports all life and I think technology could do that you’re back to me puts me in this really hopeful place of creativity and possibility and I think well how can I be involved in doing that and it in it puts me in a much better relationship with technology than a place I can get into very easily which is wanting to throw it across the room that’s not a very healthy mature relationship you want to throw things he is really recognizing that we aren’t just like guns right we are not talking about the thing itself being the problem but what we are doing with it the relationship that we are in with it is it another platform for us to express our power irresponsibly or is it an opportunity for me to express my power with responsibility alright well thank you so much for that discourse in I tend to agree and I really like that you were bringing the word Spirit to it a lot of people who would consider that to be or to new age or something would would cringe at the notion of or even people who are within the more sort of stereotypically spiritual and if things would say all know Tech is so lifeless and Solace and but really it’s a it’s an expression of human creativity so it’s almost like that that sort of semantic game of is anything unnatural because it came from nature kind of a thing so so I do from a domestic perspective I appreciate we can’t I mean it would be I think pretty foolish to deny that there are spiritual energies and intelligences around all of our inventions and if it’s not just the embodiment for the imbuing of that person’s intention into something that is to put his that is not no longer biological or if it’s kind of also something you’re saying about I mean what I’m seeing just thinking about it is that we’re creating all of our actions thoughts dreams inventions Technologies they’re creating some sort of dynamic relationship with the Unseen World and they’re the living astral plane and so we may be creating these certainly if these tickets if some of these social media apps are causing extreme unprecedented levels of teen suicide than there are entities that are crowding around these opportunities to hack and mess with and opportunistically take advantage of these new reached astral bodies if you will I don’t know if that’s so if you want to go in that direction but I think it would be great to talk more about this Dynamic interplay that you’re touching on between how we it’s not just like this that we are totally separate from the other side or the Ethereal plane but they’re actually were in a dynamic with them and we may be altering them and pull them anyway so those are my words but I love to hear what you have to say that continue that thread interesting when people in their spiritual lives in basically commit the same errors that they would accuse you know academics are politicians of making but because it’s in the service of their spirituality somehow it’s not a problem that I don’t have spirit I don’t I don’t know there was any human being who does know like that so interesting ly what is it called human-centric which always gives us in trouble I think there’s a really funny moment in a podcast with David Franklin Farkas on that he has a guest and he’s talking about working with space he does a lot of work with space and space clearing and he was talking about really just how he discovered that everything has spirit and he cuz he was of the same mind that certain things didn’t but he really discovered as he did works at that was really kind of a foolish and naive perspective and she has this really funny thing about talking to the spirit of a microwave oven because he’s responding about the qualities of that Spirit you go yeah that’s a microwave that’s not a puppy you know anyway so my point about all of this is that we really need to be aware of the nature of our relationships with things so first for example to understand that designers of apps for our phones that. The operating principle is you want to design an app that is the first thing a person does when they wake up and the last thing they do when they go to bed and it feels you know the time in between okay that’s like creating a designer drug and I don’t mean a drug for shamanic you know spiritual experience I mean a drug to get people hooked so you make money and so part the thing about using these things is we need to be educated intelligent consumers me to have healthy boundaries as we need to have with all other advertising me in and the problem with being a kid using these things is they’re not there yet and so we as the adults need to figure out how are we managing that role in the lives of our children which I already just now I’m rolling my eyes because there’s a whole lot about our role as adults that we’re not managing in the lives of our children are not even supervised anymore University doing a training and University students from all over the world it was really exciting environment to be in and out at mealtime the kids tended to sit with their friends from their own country and whatever training programme Rihanna whatever and was very interesting to see the difference culturally with these kids that were mostly like High school-age kids and their phones are certain cultures no funds on the table everybody’s talking and laughing and you know just this side of a food fight and you know enjoying each other and then other cultures wherever it was absolutely everybody is on their phone just eating the mindlessly eating and looking at what’s on your phone I was very culturally specific sad but also really interesting to realize that there are places in the world that are way healthier than we are 17 different kinds of coffee you can have in the morning but they don’t have them are just not addicted to them cuz they have different cultural standards but yeah you you’re absolutely right in that you know our kids do learn to do what we do not what we say I am so it’s really hard to enforce some sort of boundaries around your phone use when you’re on your phone at dinner too turn in restaurant all the time soon as the people who would say that I guess it’s not it’s not you don’t have to be Ted Kaczynski to have a critique of of these things that that everyone can witness and the articles in mainstream obviously magazines and what not and I always just leading up to this conversation I was thinking about how trying to just take myself mentally in a time machine back before there were back before people had this before cell phones are ubiquitous and and I was fully grown at adult before cell phones even the so-called dumb phones where you could barely text message even before that and it was just knew you would someone was home or they weren’t home and so that would determine your plans for the night or if you’re going to do a delivery you’re going to use a Thomas Brothers guide to figure out what you’re going in life was a lot slower and and into some degree I would say more more pleasant and more interconnected and if you wanted to have a good time you had to kind of earn it and work for it and go out and and be forced to go out forced to go find places where people are gathering and sewed I have Nostalgia for that in my lifetime and it’s I guess it’s easy for me to still remember that and have some context on this but even now it says the so-called Millennials or are just the internet natives they say I guess the people who are born into Google and the Google ization of I guess you could call whatever you want but but I feel like it’s it’s almost past say now or it’s cliche to have a to lament maybe not the loss of the golden age before this but certainly lament just the all of the all of the road the increasing in an in an accident on my stuff there’s just so many indicators that are undeniable cisno long is no longer really this contentious debate where you need you know you need to have some extreme radicalism to challenge this stuff but what I what I feel like is missing from from this dialogue is what you would bring as a more shamanic perspective is to what what’s happening if you were to do the cross section of the astral body and the soul and to sort of the United States early to to scare people straight or to shock them although This Bitter from a small degree of a few just a couple few weeks now it’s saying what will this is I feel very violated by my own of all people I should have been I should have known better not to have gotten so sucked into this dysmorphia and his character Distortion of keeping up with the Joneses at a pace that’s just impossible to and you just start to merge with this this device and then you were living in this augmented reality of ranking and scoring and everything is a leaderboard and and so anyway you’re taking a step back from that and I’m and I have to think about how did I know better and what should I know about her and how am I going to not fall into that trap again and so I think about how K now that I have this moment of Sanity I want to sort of build in those healthier adaptive strategies and have more of a sensitivity to what it feels like when you’re being manipulated by your own your own neurochemistry right and that’s just on the the sort of physical print out playing but it but you would want to talk more about Soul loss and what your conception of how the soul Parts get caught up in our cycle dramas in their sexual dramas in in our personality ego structures and just what what you would see from that lends as his what’s happening in America in transition a bit to to what you’re what you’re experiencing if you have to a people away from their their phones when you’re trying to teach them in a class or if you have people coming to you for for care and counseling and and healing who are in mashed and some in this sort of digital Fabric and how it’s affecting their at them at the soul level I think that are important relative what you’re asking the the simpler one in a sense would be you know how do I manage that technology with my students because I do I can think of two students right now absolutely speed Wizards taking their notes on their phone when I can barely read my phone at my age and and in really complex and wonderful ways and that supports their process and so part of that piece is okay here are students to understand they need to not be connected to the internet while they’re doing this but they can certainly use this as a means by which they’re going to take their notes and track what’s going on and that I have to be as a teacher not annoyed by that but they also have to not annoy me by having it make sounds having finding seen that they’re not really listening to me they’re really checking their Facebook page that was that person wouldn’t get a second chance for me to stop like if you were in my class checking your Facebook page instead of paying attention when people write you need to leave cuz you’re not remotely mature enough to be that you can’t not check your Facebook page for 4 hours some people just had a heart attack just so you know if water is the people who just heard that and when they thought they imagined for hours without checking Facebook back to your heart of I think the piece that you’re the missing here is people that have no boundaries with this tool none whatsoever and so this is why this matters mean we can go into it from that way but that’s kind of a long walk let’s take a short pass the short path is this we need to put ourselves in the context of our purpose of our souls reason for being here and to do things in our life that allow us to express our actual reason for being here is what fills our life with meaning and purpose so there is nothing else not on your phone not on Facebook not there is no other substitute not drugs not not relationships not anything that will substitute you bringing yourself into context with your Soul’s purpose and so to the extent that technology just becomes one other way you’re avoiding doing that or Worse creating a false idea that you are your only making the Contemporary issue worse because this is already a huge contemporary issue for people to be able to track who they are and why they’re here now part of that is because they come to their young adults were already in a state of Soul loss and for many many people there so lost does have a certain relationship with their why they’re their purpose and why they’re here so so to been moved from a place that’s already estate of so lost into these false versions of connection of intimacy of intimacy with yourself of trying to find your soul purpose out there by clicking on the surveys and things on the internet all of that is just an ongoing sofa tray and so part of understanding the damage that is being done by the technology is not anything new in the sense that it’s just one more profoundly addictive and distracting way the Contemporary people avoid the personal work required to come to right relationship with their soul and then to maintain that right relationship as a guide in what they choose to do with their lives and their many Millennials who would go look lady I am working three jobs just to try to pay a ridiculously high rent and my phone bill and pay for my marijuana and you know he’s other things that are considered necessary for contemporary life like well I understand that that doesn’t change the fact that you are a soul who chose to inkarnate at this time so these are the challenges that you are choosing to have to deal with just as I chose that is a mile and the fact that the world kind of sucks is not an excuse to not deal with the ways the world sucks and the way that gives you a possibility to either be diverted from your soul purpose or you use the world around you as the raw material to get to your soul purpose and so and so’s purpose isn’t about follow your bliss and have a happy life Soul Purpose is a really challenging way of life that is cultivated but the reason to bother is that it does have deeply Soul satisfying meaning and purpose it makes it gives us a life in which we feel still that’s a human being and we believe that we’ve matter and that’s really what we want and that’s a really challenging thing to create in our Contemporary American world at this time because the culture around you is not encouraging that you do that and even many of the spiritual practices that you would think would be encouraging you to do that or actually encouraging you to follow their rules and to bypass that deep work that would bring you to your own personal uniqueness and unique genius and maybe not be so willing to follow along so the problem with the aspect of Technology you’re talking about is that it’s a light out of context you’re not in contacts with your own soul purpose I would never post anything about as deeply intimate as my sole purpose work on any of the social media platforms is totally inappropriate nobody would so it’s not helping me so so think about it like Google is kind of a wonderful thing it’s wonderful to be able to get pieces of information when you need them as long as it’s accurate which is another issue okay but that information is completely out of context and into the meaning of information changes relative to its context so the meaning of you as a person in the world changes relative to your contacts in your proximity to your Soul’s purpose and so again these activities any addiction drives us away from our purpose because we’re repeating that thing that were addicted to instead of getting at the uniqueness and the innovation of our actual Soul Purpose and so this the piece of the technology that you’re talking about right now create this false idea and for those people that are young and naive and don’t have parents actually modeling something different they don’t even necessarily know it’s a false idea that’s Rudy’s online groups and online activities in all of this stuff that there’s somehow going to create a true sense of the things I have meaning and value to their heart and my experience is that the things that have meaning and value to my heart are not found outside of that context of me as an embodied human in my heart I need to be in the world I need to be connected to people need to be connected to the energies around me and Technology as one of those energies but it can’t take over and spill all of my my porch if you will for connection to other things if it it can’t it can’t be my sole interface with other things unless we’re talking about someone who has some sort of challenge in their life so that technology is literally the only connection to other things right but that’s all she does let some people who would otherwise not be able to connect to connect but really what we’re talking about is people that are addicted to their technology that are not in a relationship with technology and so what is doing then is taking people that are already arriving in their young adult life in a state of Soul Los usually estate of really poor energy body hygiene and worse than that not very clear idea about what is actually going on here energetically as a person in the world and is sold as a lot of huge misinformation and all of that Googling around and traipsing about the internet there’s a lot of really bad as in really inaccurate information and so people are arriving at that place with with scads of bad information around them inaccurate information around them with no skills no ability to discern and then engaging in these platforms that take them even further from their Center and further from the truth and so it’s certainly not helping but it’s also taking that passion that we have in our twenties to find our purpose and do what we have what has real meaning to our heart it burns that passion out so it’s not so much that I see people necessarily more fragmented because of it it’s more that I see people’s fire to do anything about it being frazzled and burned out that I see their focus dispersed that I see there Lerner that’s trying to learn and understand what’s really going on here completely distorted with Vault ideas and really toxic understanding of what it is to be here as a spirit in the world of sleep kind of simple easy to do but simple that’s more my sense is that that via the information we get from these platforms and our engagement in these platforms our own energy structure and our desire and our heartfelt Focus all of these inner qualities that in the past would just in the past what would happen if someone would just go I keep falling into this pattern let me see the heater that can help me deal with this find Charmin get Soul retrieval get Soul Park Bark in a great stop falling into the pattern closer to Soul Purpose mean it was a pretty simple you know here in the physical world action and now people get on really convoluted Pathways before they make it to my door and they’ve done so much greater damage to themselves following those Pathways energetically I mean what I want to make steering is not so much more so long is because there’s already a ton of so lost when I’m experiencing is people who are creating mental illness that they don’t actually have that’s more what I see I’m energetic and mental mental emotional going from a place of mental and emotional discomfort which is pretty typical for someone who’s 18 19 20 years old in America to a place of where they’ve actually gone through mental and wellness mental emotional and wellness into a state of mental illness that they’re now getting Pharmaceuticals for Why does adding a whole nother level of distraction from Center and I’m not carte blanche saying Pharmaceuticals are bad when I’m talking about is someone who’s created the state of mental illness simply through their use of technology that they don’t really have and so now they’re getting these really strong chemicals into their body and into their brain really for no reason because they aren’t actually the kind of person who has a biochemical reason for those right you know this is something just came up for me as you’re talking about this really this all kids close to home in a lot of ways and I’m trying to think about how this conversation with people who are growing up now in this Ambience of internet-connected devices in Google information and all of the all these platforms were talking about and someone said not too long ago, where I heard this but it was it was kind of like every generation is going to have this resistance by the old curmudgeons you know who say back in my day and I was like this it was harder you had to work harder to do XYZ and now it’s easier because it Technologies to your spoiled and then there’s this sort of bitterness going both ways about you don’t you’re imposing these outdated values on me and you don’t get it and then so something that was kind of a record point of reconciliation between the generations that I heard recently was just this notion of where ya at people’s parents said the same thing about comic books when comic books were distracting us from their homework and they’re so perfect that whatever it was and it makes me even think about will the the juxtaposition between literacy and the printing press and literacy and how that would allow them to think about the whole some good old days of women read romance novels and boys stereotypically gendered Etc reading comic books and and the sort of what I would like to say well with a healthier template would be a slower data stream coming through Reading text where you would do no just have you wouldn’t have 50 books and magazines that you were you were relentlessly swapping to actually make an analogy you would have to for the amount of data streams you would have to be having a million TV channels and a hundred bucks a hundred magazines and a bunch of conference calls and things that you were just tapping through that was that was a novice a possible in my area of growing up and and there was just a more protected. Of pre-internet books and magazines and and social events that you would physically have to go out to and you could only do that maybe once once a couple times a week and so you know I’m just looking at this sort of what what are the essential patterns that that kind of are recursive throughout time and have a sort of cyclical pattern going on and in something that that hit me just now as a member there was a point where I remember clearly where I was at a birthday gift was someone took me out to the Wilderness on a hike of a mountain and I was so glued to video games at that time even their primitive state what we would consider very primitive now it was in they say this about pornography to they say that the therapist are saying that it’s a quote supra-normal or supernormal experience that you set a standard to and then being intimate with a real life human being doesn’t cut it for you because you’re you’re nervous system is so jacked up on these these completely artificially induced levels of chemistry that you couldn’t experience otherwise known as being generated by this computer interface so you know for me I remember how disappointed I was when I was going to be almost dragged out into nature to go on a hike and how absolutely DeLand dead and boring and even lifeless that experience was and how how betrayed I felt that that I would have to have section non-adventurous in an exciting experience and and it was all because I would just have rather have been sitting there playing a video game when I was getting spiked with all these I’m killing someone I’m being killed I’m maker not making some sort of digital gold value and I’m all of these buttons of teen pushed and I’m just at a rate that was that was unprecedented and so this virtual I guess it’s the virtualization of of the things that motivate our nervous system pleasure and seeking pleasure avoiding pain and whatnot and and another plastic came to me was just this this idea of whenever I whenever I’ve looked at the Tabloid covers of you know the Tabloid news stands in the aisles at the supermarket throughout my entire life I just felt this toxic losing Force this presents won’t talk about a spirit of something and I just could feel it and it was never and it was obviously Bogus Basin the fake block Ness monster stuff and then all of the drama and it was so over-the-top hype that it was easy to resist that I can never felt compelled to his to get sucked into that vortex but now that I see you it’s happened really is that everybody has made this like a tabloid ization of every individual and there’s an endless market for it and just this monstrosity it’s feeding on everybody the same impulse that you would have had to open up that tabloid is now you aren’t you have become the Tabloid and you want the more attention you get onto your digital tabloid Persona online and all these different platforms there more validation you’re getting and it’s just as it’s just Nick seems to be like you said about the designer drugs are just manipulating these low-hanging fruit aspects of our lower self that was more of just a rant you know something to put on a fit if you have I don’t wait around here and there well actually I want you to go back to the first part of that that you said about the idea that it’s cyclical and every generation thinks you know the younger generation looks ridiculous in their passion or whatever like that I mean obviously at the same time there is science behind how visual images and training ourselves through Visual images is actually affecting our minds that there’s so where the difference between the generations is this meat to this programming the brain to the repetition of visual images and we start talking about something different entirely and it’s not even just a different kind of fruit it’s like the difference between fruit and a tank and so they’re there is a study and I can’t pull out the actual specifics about where someone could go Google it right now maybe someone could go find it and tell me they found it so I can do that but basically in the study they were looking at the kill rate in World War II versus the kill rate of Vietnam and they found that in World War II that the honest truth was that most soldiers would rather take someone prisoner than kill them and so the kill rate was very low like 20% or something and that wasn’t acceptable for Vietnam they wanted to figure out how to train soldiers to go for a higher kill rate and what they found were was training them through a visual interface which is of course the technology that preceded video games and so basically when people are playing you know violent video games that are teaching them to not to override their natural instinct to not show people or things will never have I ever the game is that you’re basically being train your natural human instinct is being trained out of you to be a better killer and to not hesitate and that actually they change the kill rate for family through that training and Vietnam just something like 70% or 80% in the numbers which is frightening and at the same time you also had guys that went to Vietnam that I said look I don’t care what you do I don’t care about a dishonorable discharge get me out of this situation and send me back home so part of it is this really understanding that there was a conscious there were many conscious choices made that created a change between in a world war kind of way of going about live and Vietnam and our lives since Vietnam and learnt so the same thing is true then operating with porn and how has you were saying it’s training is it’s this visual training that is different from just looking at still pictures the different engagement in our brain it affects our brain differently and and partly another version of this another aspect of study around this is with children who are placed in front of videos instead of red tube instead of being read to sorry he’s my grammar here and that when a child is listening to a story they’re developing the part of their brain that imagines and visualize is in creates the the picture then go with the story that the person is reading but they find that children that are raised by being given pictures so raised on video so the end screen so the screens are being given to that pictures are being given to them they don’t have to develop their imagination okay so from a shamanic perspective this is going to be our downfall perhaps it already is being our downfall because our relationship with the invisible World operates through our brain’s capacity to access its imagination and then how did the spirit world essentially use the imagination to tell us things just the same way we all do when we dream at night and that imaginary dream world is telling us things sometimes things are not really very useful but sometimes but the point is from a shamanic perspective my ability to have a reliable relationship with spirit is driven entirely by my ability to open up my imaginary sense as much as usual but to open up my sensory body to an imaginary experience which then has meaning when it’s interpreted accurately that gives that’s how I gained guidance in my life is how I find a full part of how I know what to do in my own life it’s how I need a program that is going to be able to initiate teenage kids and fix that problem in our culture all of that is created because I have this ability to work in this whole creative relationship with spirit that is absolutely dependent on the part of my brain that imagines show to choose to not develop that part of your brain not develop that part of your children’s brain to allow it to be fed images and not ever develop the capacity to imagine means when that child is a young adult and is trying to imagine a better future they can’t do it they literally can’t do it because they haven’t developed the part of the brain that can imagine anything that they haven’t seen said to them so that aspect the visual aspect of the technology is really problematic and it’s why you get more likes when you post a picture with your posts because we gravitate to these pictures but they’re their eye candy and two even in working in this is how we spell the Visionary state in Shamanism it’s not purely visual the eyes are very easy to trip also and so it’s really about bringing your full Century body into these experiences but if I’ve been having images fed to me my whole sensory body can just be lazy if the soundtrack and the everything is just coming at me the images soundtrack all that I’m I’m not engage my sensory body isn’t engaged my ability to imagine a better future isn’t engaged so all of these qualities that are absolutely essential to living a fulfilling spiritual life are being dead are the visual piece and so in that sense of all it’s just like comic books well not really it isn’t it’s actually highly problematic and so one of the most important things for parents and many of 2013 old people our parents is that you understand this and you make different choices raising your kids the mermaid with you and that you understand that there is a serious effect delete deleterious to having children’s brains raised by video well I just had a a rash of chills when you got to that that point and I think that is probably be beyond the desired effect of what I was looking to create with the designer drug of this podcast switch with two to really address in and treat these issues but that study that you brought in with with the I mean the exit I should say I’m like I’m going to make a note to include this link in the show notes one of the most endearing films of my childhood was the I think we just called toys with Robin Williams and LL Cool J so worried I want to respect your time we’re we covered a lot here and I thank you so much again for for delivering more than I even expected and I think that was the the most potent way to to kind of wine this down with some some real practical advice about about monitoring what we all take in visually I guess I want to ask you now if with whatever time you have left to talk a bit about what you might see as some strategies for I mean lyrics I would say it’s just a simple as well just go out in nature but I was maybe 8 9 10 years old when that didn’t work for me and that was way before the level of sophistication with stick with this with these games and mass jol would go out and play in the woods and I still would do it for its and what not but but it was losing its appeal and so it’s not as simple as you’re saying turn your phone off and go to a yoga retreat or something there’s going to have to be other other steps taken and and you’re very very pragmatic I don’t know I wouldn’t say you’re really kind of you’re grounded you’re not to move about your precious to these things I’m just wondering if you if you have thought about it or if you’re working on something maybe you will develop some sort of some techno fast tree protocol or something but today just curious if you want to end on that some things that are that may help us get out of this this digital quicksand but I offer people would I consider the fundamental step out of that quicksand in an online class that I believe is absolutely essential if people are going to make the shift and be able to come into kind of a into a responsible it kind of relationship with technology that is response all that is powerful but is responsible and I people have to get their however they’re going to get there but I think the idea of just not engaging with it that feast-or-famine has its problem because they were not growing up the spirit of Technology right and while we’re over here trying to not engage with it it’s taking over the world right it was people teaching it to not grow up so I think that part of it is to figure out who do you want to be engaging with technology where where are your boundaries and end-to-end to make some clear decisions on uphold those decisions but mostly I really want to encourage people especially people that are in this I can’t remember what you said was an interesting name of the generation of being raised on the internet but anyway what I really want to encourage people to do is to understand that you read about joy and satisfaction in becoming subversive become a subversive who is Unser do so and if you can do that in your life to become subversive and recognize that you are being completely seduced into being a consumer that’s all that’s going on and that’s so expensive you should be horribly offended by that and want to subvert that system so I really encourage you all this find that inner trickster irrevocably person who wants to subvert A system that thinks so little of you and your unique genius but it just wants to turn you into a shopper it just wants you to consume he wants you to buy the next phone the next app it just sees you as a consumer and be offended by that to become subversive and in that to become unsecured small which means you can engage with whatever you choose to engage with within the boundaries that you set and that relationship of healthy relationships with it whether it’s sex or drugs or technology or whatever and and really draw what is good and true and beautiful and things out of them and not get lost in the swamp and so that would be my my thing as y’all are young you know become beings and change the world it needs to be changed so that’s what I would say Bravo of all that sounds almost tearing up hearing those words didn’t really that’s that’s why I got into punk rock and that’s why I’m still out there trying to to rock the boat however he can and that why we’re having this conversation and yeah this the spirit of wildness will will live on in and again thank you for for just balancing this as well nnn we’re not going to have an effect on the trajectory of this of this technology Technologies if we withdraw and Retreat and lamented in in the in a Shack in the woods yeah we will keep doing our best here will thank you Christina so much yeah I look forward to the next time and it’s really always it’s a blessing to have you share your insights and I will just again recommend that folks please check out why Shamanism Now podcast there will be links here and that you have any other links or anything you want to talk about promotions or anything coming up you want to share we want to find classes there at last mask Center. Org okay and that’s also where to go to get to go why Shamanism now for the podcast directly or so much I had a great time and again look forward to the next time and you have a great and wonderful rest of your evening please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is the seeming and improving the podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been at Contra Punk. Com Thomas Day

Anti-Authoritarian Self-Help and Recovery with Craig Lewis TPP143

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Craig Lewis PicIn this episode I’m joined again by long time punk comrade Craig Lewis. He updates us on his new personal revelations and international adventures, and provides a radiant and radical energetic transmission of positivity and hope.

We share a passion to change the world by first changing ourselves and finding inner strength and peace to move through the world in an empowered and autonomous way. We also both promote anti-authoritarian approaches to self-help and recovery.

It’s always a pleasure to catch up and commiserate about the struggle to survive and thrive. For anyone with punk roots, Craig is a fierce reminder of the spirit of liberation we all embodied in our youth. As we become educators and mentors, we can share solidarity with Craig and applaud his efforts to keep the spirit alive.

Please visit Craig’s website at:
http://www.betterdaysinternational.net/

About Craig:
Craig Lewis is grateful for every experience he has had that has resulted in this very moment. He is transcending the challenges of his past and sharing his experiences, knowledge, and lessons learned with all those who will listen. This is an ongoing journey and Craig, like all of us, is a work in progress. The choice to live a life of gratitude, peace, love, kindness, spirituality, accountability, forgiveness and acceptance facilitates Craig’s liberation.

Tantra Makeover with Craig Lewis TPP73

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In this episode I’m joined again by long time punk comrade Craig Lewis. We discuss the struggle to survive the psychiatric-pharmaceutical complex with a do-it-yourself approach to mental health and wellness. He graciously allows me to guide him on a journey into the tantric arts of love and healing and we share a lot of mutual support and strength as men striving to think, speak, and act from the heart.

Please visit his websites linked below:
http://www.betterdaysrecovery.com/
http://punksinrecovery.tumblr.com/

Punks in Recovery with Craig Lewis TPP10

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tp-craig-lewisCraig Lewis is a Certified Peer Specialist living and working in Massachusetts. He has struggled immensely with mental health issues throughout his life; however he has successfully transformed this into a life of wellness. Craig is successfully working as part of an outreach team in Boston, Massachusetts. He also tours the country, speaking about his lived experience, sharing his struggles and triumphs to help others.

Craig has authored and published the Better Days – A Mental Health Recovery Workbook. Craig based the Better Days workbook on his personal life and recovery, and every page has been used successfully in peer group settings. A Better Days support group facilitation guide is currently being developed as are Spanish and French language versions of the Better Days workbook.

Craig also has edited and published You’re Crazy Volume One which compiles first-hand accounts of people from the punk rock scene who live with mental illness, addiction and trauma. A second volume of You’re Crazy is in the works.

Craig can be contacted at: betterdaysrecovery@gmail.com

Please take a look at Craig’s websites for more information about his books, projects and events.

 HTTP://WWW.BETTERDAYSRECOVERY.COM

HTTP://WWW.PUNKSINRECOVERY.COM

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast episode number 10 I’m having a discussion with Craig Lewis who is very heavily involved in recovery from trauma addiction and other mental illnesses from punk rock perspective and he’s got a lot of great resources that he’s putting out and is really doing a lot of great work in the field so hope you enjoy the conversation and take care of Namaste welcome Craig to The Point podcast and meaning to connect for a while I’m really thrilled about the what you doing evolving in the punk rock movement and and mental health areas and if you want to introduce yourself what you working on your projects and give a little bit of background we’ll go from there my name is Craig Lewis and I live in Salem Massachusetts this is right outside of Boston Adam 41 years old I’ve been in and around the punk scene since 1988 when I was 14 as a young person my life was quite dysfunctional I didn’t really realize that at the time my parents really intent on having whatever issues we had in our family you know identified with me as being the issue on their parents went from Boston to talk to the doctor to try. has somebody agree with that I was I was meant to be unhealthy and ultimately I was put in the hospital and spent you know three plus years and Adolescent group homes in residential homes and hospitals and you know I got out of there really unprepared for the world and I spend time with me until my mid-30s really just very dysfunctional and and I know how unhealthy I was I was I was on vacations for many many years. Causing a reason why I was so sick and NetSpend spent so many years has Peyton laws assures and doing is Ian playing in bands and I was always chronically ill the entire time and not not not do to you my undoing I was I was I medication I now know I never should have been all that actually caused me to be unstable so it was it happened and I got some my mid-thirties and I really hate my life and I I’ve been working on it ever since so ask him and we haven’t played out yet or called rapid cycle and hopefully we’ll be recording and playing with the last couple months all the songs about recovery and wellness and fighting the good fight and I’m trying to be the change in the world that I had to desperately need for myself and that I feel is necessary to make the world a better place especially for my people who are people who really are marginalized to this will have identified personally at the margin life person and people will buy both of the struggles and I really getting a nice Matt so I feel myself very dedicated and committed to doing what I can to make the world a better place in that regard over the years I’ve become Michelle theer I went to school I became a peer counselor of a certified peer specialist which is the actual title that I have and I got a call to the green Human Services and associates degree and I’ve been feeling different jobs and I’ve been the same job now for almost 4 and 1/2 years in a couple months where I am working up here call Claire team helping other people with live experience with benzos drug addiction trauma learn to cope with their struggle so they can have a happier and healthier and more satisfying life and as I continued my attention toward improving the quality of my life and making more healthy and and really more informed choices about what’s right for me in what I need to be near happy healthy and and well and it’s a side of my life I realize that there was really in the punxsy in the country has been going on since I was 14 when I first got involved even dictionary, and really any issue you can imagine it’s really foggy that I was involved in all sorts of conflict and problems and I was really out of control and I realize now that I wish I had some understanding and empathy and where I was guided toward you know getting help that would be effective in and beneficial to me and so I would suffer last and have less conflict and ultimately I didn’t really get that and I was really nervous or to be dysfunctional Duty garage if you know poor living standards living in squalor you know how many years as I’ve been that was almost acceptable yet for me it was just contributing to my my chronic mental health El Hardcore Pawn Canoga Park whatever I don’t really care about the labels very much but it’s a lot of it but still had history and never at maybe I wanted to provide a forum for people to talk about their experiences so that they could really going to be understood be heard yelling and be treated with no epithelium and and patience and really and you know you have so many of us end up kicking around lives and so many of us end up self-medicating or guide used for a very long time and we lose lots of good people to you know suicide in overdose and and Reckless Reckless Reckless living that results in an acid issue that’s not it’s not been addressed and I feel like it must be talked about and I really I just came up with the idea to do the plug and go with a transient idea at first and now it’s a book and now I’m working on the second volume in the car for contributions is out now do I speak around the Country Inn & in Canada and hopefully I’ll be able to travel around the world speaking about my experiences and and if that’s off recovery and dealing with trauma and all of the important stuff to me in and they’ll probably be rain have going on as be better days a mental health recovery workbook which is something that I came up with a Spotify and internship when I went to school for to become a peer counselor and it was basically a support group curriculum that I have people responded to and people benefited from what I was going to bring him to the the group each week and they have really no training and I doing that kind of work I I seem to be a natural and as it as it worked out after usually given a group in different places United jobs in as of altering as an intern to try to put together and took book form so with the help of some. I get the book put into book form and now people are ordering and Beyond in the UK and Ireland in Canada and Australia can I see my life was worth the life of struggling and lack of opportunity that I really just not to come into my anger and I got a question is it it does exist within me and I really committed to doing my part to I don’t let myself up out of poverty in and lack of opportunity in and financial struggle but to also know my people my people are people who have been marginalized in whatever way they treated poems about society and and and denied it a Crime Stoppers in these are just treat dignity respect and I want to help those people make sure they send their struggles are there any cooking skills so that they can look happier healthier and more satisfying lives and it’s my life it’s what I do 24/7 whether I’m at work or not that is how I live my life and I try to have all my interactions you know the it potentially real vehicles for the moment sore I respectfully dignified and communication because I know how personally damaging to be treated like you’re not worth you know if I owe someone else and you’re not you know where the inside of respectful treatment stuff that’s really my life that’s what I do and you know punk rock and metal all of this stuff really comes together it as being the core of who I am and and and what I’m trying to achieve in this world to myself and also my community in the world in general and that’s my Direction that’s my drive and I’m going full steam ahead so I know they have it I left his hat thank you so much! I cry so beautiful and and I can relate to a lot of different aspects it makes me think I mean I went through the cool cycle running away I ran away when I was 12 and then I was in and out of institutions in became a ward of the court and bounced around to different homes in placements and whatnot and for a few years and yeah just long stretches in different places and would generally end up continuing to run away until they got me they got me locked down hard for about a year-and-a-half at one point and and I really got the gas before it LOL several times I was forced on medication and I luckily I was able to convince them that it was not helping me and I didn’t continue to force it down my throat but yeah absolutely being a victim not only has to societal like Mental Health crisis that produces the different types of problems people have but also be true caged in with with with other Pino’s like extremely extremely mentally disordered traumatized other other people other kids you know and then I was actually just I was not clinically myself anything other than just mildly depressed as a result of being stuffy nose like I didn’t I didn’t have any extreme conditions just at the time they they just wants everything everything if you’re a juvenile and you’re running away and you you have drug problems you’re just sort of put into the same funnel institutions as minors with severe behavior problems and stuff so I got to really yeah I have a unique insight into the policy and institutions in and all of the all that sort of stuff and I did a lot of work books and I was put to the 12-step program went to 90 meetings in 90 days in head sponsors in yeah was put through many many hours of of different types of as therapeutic modalities and most of them were pretty most of them has he was very critical is too interesting to be like an anarchists and a punk hypercritical nnn aware and being forced to say you’re never going to see the light of day again unless you completely can form the ultimate Conformity this isn’t just what your parents think you should do if you have parents which I pretty much didn’t miss my father abandon me and has there been in the family when I was three and my mother was pretty much so busy putting food on the table that she was so emotionally unavailable it was rough going through all that in the end going from a totally unstructured environment where there is no Authority and then getting into punk rock and going on the street and finding family and tribe and being really initiated into a tribal subculture and then unfortunately being dominated by severe addiction and violence and alcoholism and stuff like you’re saying it doesn’t it’s riddled with with pathology even though it’s our best hope in a lot of ways though it’s really important to be helping it evolve and grow to be more supportive than have more resources in interesting me it was people like you that had probably the most affect an impact on me when I was going in and out of Institutions that because they’re always seem to be like at least one post-punk angel that would be that would gravitate to they see my boots and my Mohawk and stuff and then they would they would kind of give me the secret knowledge that they said they were punks you know that had gone to school to get a social work degree and so they were working in these institutions to kind of get there a minimum hour requirements for certifications and stuff so they would always smuggle me in Punk record send zeins I say most of my in my most quality education and in in the punk rock movement was the CCM Elders that would that were working in these places that was secretly be able to pay myself have you found other like have you kind of built build some good networking done some good networking with other professional Punk oriented social workers and clinical psychologists in I’m not a social worker or counselor but I have gotten some great networking and I do know a fairly decent amount of social workers and I also know if punk rock to your counselor and also just threw out my travels and you know the website to track a lot of interesting people and the call for contributions for the book them doing brings in a lot of interesting people as well and you know my professional mental health workbook by many people in the severely jitomate you know you got this was one of us and that’s really a lot of people that they needed to show respect of us are considered mentally unhealthy cuz we’re inside sorry. Or because we are unique we have our own style of dress or own way we were here and so many people in the system especially going back to the past several decades now remember 25 raising their face so a lot of people are treated badly because they listen to Scott and they had their own beliefs that said a child that won’t inform them you know just simply telling you this information doesn’t make it true as punk rockers and people with with strongly develops a personal item has a run but how do we get out of society where people could be respected and treated with dignity that many people are just considered mentally unhealthy because they have is s r e l a lot of people do that and you said it talk about the vehicle cheats for their other the color of a year how they know that really pushes people the way so I’m sure if you have an experience that person you know what I’m talking about and medic medic see this is a chronic courses offered at 3 to do this kind of work and dye made from and being accessible on Facebook through anybody who wants to chat or talk if I have time and show me people who want to make the world a better place and you want to get back to have this this like this deeply rooted desire at your house from Concord to they got at the punk rock yes of course cuz I lied to her right difficult and Andy were looking for a place to be who he always loved being judged 11 also really have this desire in this need to help make the world a better price and summer squash down by Society in the system and and that it’s really hard to really good blossom into the person that you suggest Lee want needs to be and it’s not going to come across people like that all the time who really didn’t know that I could get better but you didn’t know that these kind of jobs exist and if you can get trained to do this kind of work is it absolutely amazing relationship and what I’m doing and yeah that that that in some ways that makes you sad that people have struggled so much just like I had struggled so much and I never been offered that information and then once I got even the tiniest bit of information that was possible I took that ball and Iran Iran Iran I’m still running and life getting better certainly You know what last step of this is that odd thing is that I do not get shocked by some of the very troubling things you see when you do some kind of Human Service work so it kind of gives us an advantage and you know be able to connect with people cuz we get the violence and we get the trauma we get to substance abuse and we get the the you know by the police or something it personally are we know of it in the other thing I wanted to say about that is that on McBride catch my train of thought War II was that people from the punk scene you know people who are who are in various police and police about you know turn is Amanda autonomy and mutual support I mean what is more punk rock and what is more alarm at those believe that having a role where you provide Mutual support to others who are struggling and to be able to have that in my professional life where I work as a peer mental health counselor but also have that in my personalized my social life when I meet people when I travel and whoever right she was on the phone and just got over being part of your people who described, and they actually what I’m doing is providing Mutual support for people when does Cabarrus situations where they can be really like I have a very very much in line with my beliefs of you know supporting each other and to Build a Better Community Building others better world so every day and it’s awesome and there’s way more than anyone knows and I want to help create strength in that community so we can all United in and also identifying the people out there who are allies to us whether they have the experience or not or whether they having to go help you know Spirits are trauma or addiction experience you’re not that allies the people who are also working Human Services many of them try to do this work a better place you know for their family member you know they make things better so I can also recognize that allies also that sometimes to a better because we protect ourselves and sometimes it’s because we we blocked at beneficial to us and I want you to just got back shed hear that that some allies or many allies are actually quite that they are allies to us and we can work together to make the world a better place and help each other and I aware of in the news or any you know anything going on so some people are just good people and whether there will come soon and not leave certain political ideologies or not they can be embraced and will want to embrace us and doing the work we’re doing and people here that because so many of us get pushed away and we naturally build up defenses to protect ourselves and it’s important to recognize that we do that could be of help to us and we should try to use our best to intuition I who those people are and see what we can come up with me see what kind of changes or improvements to our lives that we can wait and then approached with making the world a better place in different healthier for all of us right on. Yeah I totally feel that and if I’ve been on a similar path feeling like the nihilism and pessimism that’s sort of built into a lot of I mean if your punk that’s of a persuasion of just total apathy and eyelids and then you know when you come when you get into the the Revolutionary or insurrectionary activist modality of punk and then you get your ass kicked in the streets and you can’t be friends go to jail or you go to jail whatever you just get bludgeon and demoralized and disillusion and you said you had hope and now you’re actually more traumatized kind of like in The Matrix you know if The Cypher you know he wants to take back the disillusionment and just to be blissfully ignorant again and I think that we’re going to probably the punk rock element coming into does the social science in clinical psycho psychologie in of this kind of recovery and stare. Work I think they will end up introducing some sort of clinical terminology for the the condition that is becoming too too aware of the totality of if you when you start to look at the karmic consequences of living on the back being in the first row living on the backs of all of the ecologies and in economies as the other nations you know that are under the bootheel of of the West and all that you’re not just solving your own personal life family Karma and traumas that we’re actually living carrying the weight of the world here if you never if you’ve never cared about any of that stuff in your kind of just more of those completely apathetic Southampton pain it won’t heal still never affect you that that pain in that sense of responsibility and a sense of not being able to be content just fitting into society or just fitting into the sort of fashionable scenes and stuff because you’re like no I need to be resisting the size as my conscience has been awakened to the this expense entire Global disorder there’s so much additional, wounding baggage to inherit that that that disillusionment but then there’s also the gift within that of finding a sustainable way to be resisting and fighting back and you know but doing it figuring out a way to actually actually expresses your gift you know and end in from like a kind of typical spiritual kind of using thing as soon I was fine when you’re in you’re when you’re in the zone like if everyone who is fine is what puts them in the zone that’s a positive constructive creative self Transcendence you know purposeful activity weather is gardening or doing you know writting or writing poetry or doing volunteering or whatever it is if it’s something that’s not just serving your narcissistic ego I was just not going to get you very far but something that is help genuinely giving back in serving and it is something that you enjoy doing that’s where the real internal Pharmacy switches on and you become your own organic psychiatrist that medicine you know know and have a more and have a such a a reason to find those gifts in a reason you know to like we don’t have to pay once you get disillusioned and switch Sean you have to you can’t really sleep at night knowing that you’re part of this giant monstrosity of exploitation you got to figure out how to become more locally and regionally self-sufficient and sustainable and and how to make you said create Mutual Aid System all kinds of overlapping layers of mutual Aid so you can start to have more Independence and autonomy from the systems that are really perpetuating all this stuff so yeah I’m totally hopeful and in excited about about what is going to be like as you know we make the world a better place for everybody and his future Generations role in but also particularly with our own server tribe you know like I can imagine that honey I’ve started want to dedicate my life to making the next generation of people who do get disillusion whether to punk or whatever else give them more constructive and more sustainable ways to express that rage and to resist in ways that don’t you know get them in really trapped the way that I’ve been trapped in and peer pressure to do things that you say you know in certain ways unsustainable El Paso weather most people I believe who are being treated for mental health issues or trauma or addiction a mental health issues or addiction generally has to put a trauma either alongside what’s going on with them or has precipitated it and so when are the judges are made in the documents it written and diagnosis it diagnosis are given the trauma ask that’s what you may be the main source of the dysfunction or perpetuated or or or or Nursery in a negative way that the difficulties we were having or how we coach is often not even addressed during the whole truth, is the major component and often I just had precipitates you know the real the real I just kind of struggles who are basically labels and put in the box and told you this label this word is in this box and I’ll just medication in that this is your life is now it’s going to be and you know no one really care so that was my experience it’s a lot of parents that also wanted to say that I know we talkin about we we certainly have to acknowledge that this parts of the punk scene is people in the punk scene who absolutely have whatever reason I have a very apathetic stance I don’t care about politics are you know making a change in the world and in a way that maybe ice I might see our our our potential to do so however I think it’s also crucial pieces mind but also when we interact with others as far as finding common ground to meet at and not just compared to some people who are already feeling shunned or themselves from others for their own safety and that’s that these individuals to are very apathetic and you’d call him and get gas pump whatever we call them I mean something happened to them experience something like that maybe they were extinguisher made it more complicated for them really I mean we’re all the products of what we’ve experienced so individual for a community really must also be validated for the fact that they’ve experienced something real life most of what we don’t know about we have not had that conversation to add to this weekend we should be more empathetic and understanding understanding find common ground which would then reduce the result of individuals who are anti whatever it is we’re trying to do that you know Progressive so that are the way they are they do things the way that you would just say what they say because of their experiences and I would go very far as to say that in many situations are most people who acts in ways that are disruptive are or are against what is the collective real good reasons for doing that if if I don’t like it leave if you don’t like it or it’s not helpful to society they’ve experienced something in life that is informed them do to protect themselves or that manifest we have to acknowledge that that’s possible or potential explanation and when we do that we let me extend that massive amount of epithelia people instead of judging them in condemning them in and then you don’t know. and have their license because if that’s how it’s going to be and we can make that really at most empathetic wonderful decision to ourselves apart a to not engage that negativity cuz of that sells down and park Beauty must one another must one of us empathetic things we can do it’s not get into it with them and it is somebody is being destructive are there getting drunk out of his colon causing problems that are causing fights or whatever it is we get nothing out of it nothing out of well-being and wellness and Medical Health Center perpetuates already struggling struggling and suffering even if they’re wrong with me even if it’s wrong someone else do they care about that’s contrary to everything I believe in care about whether that means having really politics or whatever it is I understand that people are the products of their experiences and we do the things we do when we adapt and our brains and our minds how to defend ourselves to protect ourselves and I can get that I guess that very deeply as person lie and we will all be much happier if we eliminate some of that unnecessary conflict cuz it gets none of us are getting pissed off and alienated from our communities or from the community which really we all have a much more in common as to how she even with each other then the differences I wanted to make that clear that that’s really where I come from on that comment about you know that is this sustainable living and living a healthier Life by not impacting those who are less LIRR the providers of a lot of our services and and foods and ends in a situation that existed as many people want to be treated right in my my actions don’t always make decisions that are the life of those people who know I cannot directly speed at impact and I want to just put on the record here that I’m aware of that and I want to be better about it recovery of struggle and just keep myself going there today at the massive full-time job as I think you understand as well and maybe the listing will get and I have work to do to make sure that I can have left of an egg impact on those in the world that I can’t see your hair at night I think crucial to be accountable for our word that our actions and that’s something that overtime I hope I can make more adjustments to really be able to be more to adhere more to my beliefs of a really not harming anybody and I’m glad you brought that up because it made me realize that yes I have a lot of work to do as far as living that life that I believe would be beneficial to all of us if we’re able to actually apply it in the garage for our lives to thank you for bringing up that point and I’m grateful that you share that and it was in this conversation describe reconciling differences between the different camps in punk rock if that’s what’s so amazing in in in well stated and even going back to Axiom days and I was just like a teenager if your right eye it was a lot of lot of conflict a lot of some sort of psychic and even physical conflict in show environments and and scenes and stuff we’re more energy was spent fighting each other than fighting assistance in a lot of cases and I I think I honestly secretly was envious of the the Hedonism most of total telepathy and so there is jealousy there and envy you can’t be no be having a good time cuz I’m pissed off cuz I’m studying all this stuff about how the world’s screwed up and I’m going to make you more miserable and not acknowledge your the truth of your life experience and there’s this whole very malignant growth of the people that hyper intellectual elitist view PC vs whatever street punks are cast bunk’d whatever and then and then and then they rebelled against their like hey we got because we were sick of rules and now you’re telling us we have to have all these rules fuck you you know it’s Dynamic Anna and I really obviously I think she has somewhere in the middle is is is the middle the Watercourse Way you know it’s like between the extremes of Pleasure and Pain is you know where we want to have a baseline of homeostasis mentally and yeah I just wanted to throw out the or ask you if you have any thoughts about the pathology like the Psychopathology of of being the feeling like you know a lot of the more conscious or where people using that as a way to put people down and actually yeah add to their wounds not acknowledge where they’re coming from and I mean I don’t want to name name names of particular movements that I think has the issues very kind of full-blown but I think you can imagine how they’re are you know they’re really just morally Superior elitist and that is more division more ego foundries and stuff and not likely not actually changing either really engaged and lots of call clicks then it all back then what was called and that never should have been there really hard dry Community Honda other people I slid in the other than my spells and very very unfortunate and I really was desperate for percept insight as I said I grew up in group homes and I didn’t really have the kind of life that that would have really prepared me for the world appears and you know what I was very much my maturity level was was it over the years and I was traveling I really called by the barriers and tell the conflicts that didn’t need to be there and I suffered a lot and if you looked into it and and you know it to the late 2000s and what I really begin my recovery process and you know I miss you guys but hit rock bottom and it was either liver die and I chose to try one last time to get better and I’ll be starting to get better than me really struggling through it that I laid it happening is an interesting someone I want to share this cuz it won’t hear the last thing about that is that the with you that the people who buy and most in the most contempt from and the most abusive toward me what are the people who are the PC pumps and tanks and the elitist you know ya 2000 error get out new hardcore punk Center that pumps and I mean completely different person will not allow me when I when I when I really I recognize that the PC and all those people were not my friends at all and really did not give a crap about me except I was a good L I was just fodder for the for the internet message boards that the people who really embraced see people the people who are the people who you know you know we’re all grown up punk rockers and and and Let It Go who works in a PC who said things that like you know harmed and Ed Embrace fully and with no issue and many majority actually of the PC and just send me an actively participating and end in not treating me well and increasing with disrespecting a lack of understanding and it’s just that people who are you know very much in the PC crowd anarcho-punk crowd and all of those people that they have reasons why they stick together that way and that’s how they express myself and I think most of those people are very insecure and need to be a part of a pack to be able to feel feel like that’s what I don’t like how I’m treated sometimes and understand that people do what they do that kind of life and I’m not going to condemn them to it looks like good friends are not from the PT anarcho-punk Brad they are people that a lot of people might not necessarily has the best picture say about Grace to me I’ve been supportive and nurturing me it was there for me when the very people who like and I work really take responsibility for me what does beef to make peace and I’m really generally you feel pretty comfortable you know people don’t know who see my issue I don’t I don’t take it personally realize that people do and say what they do because they had experiences or whatever they had going on their life they haven’t spoiled them to act that way and I do my very best that I’m not perfect I make mistakes but I do my very best to embrace that reality that people act in certain ways into things to say things because of their experiences and then I’m not going to feel bad about it and lock it up. I’m going to try out that at the reasons why and I may not have any idea what those reasons are and they have to do with insecurities are or like mob mentality but really doesn’t matter cuz I know I’m better off into it and they want say what they want and you know what else we going to get up and be healthy life and grasses that those people left my life or are they want to embrace me wholeheartedly and it’s very interesting that that this is what I experienced as I continue to experience a punk rocker you can imagine and if you want to talk about giving the and that’s good enough for me and doesn’t matter to me is there a PC pong or chaos pong or a skinhead of whatever variety or whatever because whatever reason walk up to that talk Siri speak about my experiences of what I’ve been through and I like them in my life better that tells me that they get it we have something in common and that even a society as often to devenish answering people for certain things that they say and do I don’t want to do that I want to stay on estate I embrace you because I recognized that whatever it is that would also saying about your battery this is that is that really you just suffered he had a tough life and things weren’t fear and you just do the best you could you survive and treating people badly or say horrible things but I understand all that stuff all over here is all those decisions are directly impacted by Twila Paris and at things that happened that I can’t possibly know about and I’m not going to condemn. Just like I don’t want to be condemned by others as I felt so much in my life being torn down by others and other people so very complicated social life is complicated your boss seems a very specialized Punk scene that is pretty much you have to understand that you can have a cheer like crust punk shows and whatever they called TV now and I will spare part of this crew in this guy’s not so often is so sexualized but I try to get the gauge of anybody who wants to talk and I don’t really care healing moments of the saying yeah I get it you’re fucked up I get it it happened so you want to do what do you want to go from here to honoring appreciating sake so cold so cold more like Street Punk kind of Cloud V I was just checking with anthropologically studying different shows and you know during all over and stuff and there is something sacred about the circle pit and that that that’s Been to Spain by Spinoza different more old-school types of pumpkins where you were there and that’s like a really it’s like a it’s like a putting the the mind on spin cycle in a washing machine is this total punk rock group exorcism I study Tantra and and different Pharmacy you know spiritual Traditions from India and China and stuff and it’s like purification and releasing you know the the energies that are negatives that attach to a sin that act like vampires and want to create more misery and suffering in the world and our happy tooth are you happy to disguise themselves in a variety of different ways people are just accepting and tolerating this extremely toxic amount of negative emotional poisoning that is going on in them in their bloodstreams constantly with all of the Slime Wars on forms and stuff just all of this on cerebro and disconnected from the heart like just noise of conflict that that that just becomes this norm and you go into like an activist meetings or even like a house meeting at a supposedly enlightened you know Community House Savannah kiss or a ton of people and people are just waiting to tear each other apart and just create more more hell and more suffering and and Mori girl in more Agony and around all that stuff and it’s nice since I’ve gotten into more different esoteric Traditions that acknowledge you know that John the human psyche is so sort of inhabited space where the things that are making our lives hell or actually like discrete entities are organisms that are subsisting off of our energy and functioning on a plane of existence that are not visible to our to our normal five senses so with psychedelic Shamanism in different forms of deep meditation and even like with Tantra is it did the use of sexual energy as as a medicine for purification and in as a way to like this loss exercise these energies these entities Better Living inside of our energy Fields this is an interesting Dimension that I’m really getting deep into bringing back I think both of us have spray and stay out of the sort of punk rock ghetto to seek answers and health and healing for Purcells and now we have gifts that were bringing without any agendas or authoritarian elitism with it but it’s hey this work for me check it out less judgment Less elitism in criticism and write this is the scientific directions that I’m trying to take the clinical psychotherapeutic or psychological approach to a lot of healing traditions of the East that are more symbolic and not even just be supposed to say traditional pre-modern shamanic modes of healing where there’s an understanding of the spirit world and that human beings are basically extremely vulnerable and extremely defenseless especially alone if a human being who is estranged from the orb of healing love light energy that is an intact tribe or Village of people living in Us in an intact natural habitat that’s the molecules of human mental health a baseline of mental health and it’s it’s maintained by shamanic practice tennis go to mediation between the negative forces in the spirit world and his desire of human populations to maintain a state of homeostasis where we’re all loving each other from birth to death know everyone has a purpose everyone is is given sexual access and affection this age appropriate and is abundance throughout their life and then the physical materials security and ecological security is there because in our traditional past as hunter-gatherers you know and then and its various forms of Horticultural societies you know there was at intactness and a couple minutes and then you just literally don’t see the some massive pathologies of organized Warfare and violence then suicide and incest and all these horrific pathologies to the shaman it’s the infection of weekend populations and weekend individuals of these demonic entities that are always there and always Genetically speaking cracks and fractures in our population has been in our individual minds and when drama happens cultural trauma or intergenerational trauma of all kinds we basically become so weak and in so susceptible is like we have psychic HIV or psychic immune deficiency and we’re overrun by these demonic entities that it’s just they’re just happy to disguise themselves as as our personality so we identify with them and say yeah I am this label and the the really hyper elitist intellectual cerebro activist movement people and I was one of them I was really like sharp so I could really hurt people with my voice you know I could really make people feel bad about themselves and so I I was addicted to that and I was totally ignorant and in delusion about it because I thought ya and this is how I’m healing the planet and I’m making a little better place mean well I’m basically becoming an instrument of that same negativity going to like you said and you know some of the stuff is like really complex or esoterica you have to I mean I don’t think you need to face to explain the spirit world I think you can you can have a second traditional psychedelic shamanic ceremony of experience and and have a have a complete visual understanding of the impact of of different of these different things that are attached to a string attached to her thinking and basically pushing Us in farming or negative emotions and that’s getting closer through this Renaissance Inn in clinical psychedelic research studies for the restore of the medical youth legal category 4 for II LX has a different kinds we’re getting closer to this sort of new germ Theory which with which wood with when a microscope with able to with able to discover basically and implicate microbes as the source of of infectious disease the Psychedelic perspective is like the microscope for the for the psyche and for the the sort of structure of the invisible structure of the larger human energy field and being able to look into that and study and explore that with this cool as the Psychedelic medicine is giving giving us an understanding now that can be really revolutionize the the mental health industry and be able to say this word for instance when you have that perspective you can actually see that these medications that people being drugged on the pharmaceutical industrial complex is like spelling and pushing people are actually weakening people’s physical and mental immune system so that they become susceptible to even greater degree of infection and that’s where all this really extremely psychotic side effects are coming in and because we still are in a medical cert is impurity that it ignores the spirit world biggest say that all those are just eating disordered neurons that are somehow being bumped into by this chemical but in fact there’s too much more Sinister thing going on and that you wouldn’t the punk rock mix. Silver Lake West Bismark fist anti-religion anti spirituality total denial of the spirit world because we’re so traumatized by religion you know it’s taking me a long time to relieve have to get a new education on like what what mental illness it really actually is in it and how Commons in various cultures traditional look at these issues in and crying your help for them I see now that what I was blind to for many years that I just accepted because it was I was so blind and so diluted like everyone else in the PC World in the activist communities words if you bring a shaman into an activist meetings in and just have that woman or man with a sketch pads close their eyes scan the room with their third eye and make a sketch of what they see well all these people are just fighting over these Petty semantical things just extremely nasty Eagles assert assertion that is not connected to the heart and not acknowledging the the Oneness and this connectedness that a deeper level that everyone really has not really listening to people when they talk and just waiting till like Karen down with that actually appears like from a higher dimensional space with the people who are trained to be able to operate as surgeons like surgical Exorcist in that space with are going to see is that these people have become habitats for extremely nasty creatures that are able to hack into and spam their mind stream like you said and I need that negativity that grows it’s alive and it and it has is a dimension of an organism make a live Anna Sun another another dimensional plane of reality and so if you have zits and we just don’t we because we don’t normally see that we just take it for granted and just let it run everything and that is exactly what its agenda is and I love what you said about how like yeah you when you when you get so brutalized by that experience that you seek the heart and you go and find the people who didn’t have that type really Destino way of being and they are the ones with Open Hearts that are actually creating space or people that sit to accept each other and like not Take On The World and unsustainable Morley ABY this way but just try to be good people and try to do less harm and be present I had the same the same Journey I really appreciate that and I’ll come full circle back to the end yeah and it’s a PC struggling because people just really want to feel strong and secure and empowered and and this country through all that different things that happened with the military being in Syrian control and and media control and absolutely true pharmaceutical companies which you know I’m not I’m not going to I’m not going to sit and some people benefit from their medication and some don’t know I’m very careful to not say you like I’m either a medication because I I do take the summer off and not entirely sure that I needed and stirring trying to taper off and I’ve already had two doing up sometime but I want people to be able to feel I want to hear that it’s okay to take steps to help yourself and you know our society has is very much very pressuring and very forceful and raised. Smells like Menthol and very unforgiving and I want to get people to know that you know when we are faced with the trauma and addiction that we can serve ourselves and support those around us and helping others make the most informed decisions about how to deal with what they’re struggling with and I wanted people to be careful but can getting medication cuz some people may benefit from it and others can disagree or other and that’s fine I respect those people to a lot of people the reason are Jarritos hurt less than that and feel better and be more stable and successful in life in life and it’s really important for me to know what it is and just because I believe one thing about how to deal with things with my life doesn’t mean that’s right for someone else and get the best thing we can do for those people and I spell it does appear as a friend as a community member I thought you would make the most informed decisions about what to do about their struggle what to do about their information possible to decide to make an informed decision on what they want to do and what major should I choose may be different than another that person might choose to take medication and and meditate and exercise and another person might choose to you no good acupuncture and swim 5 miles a day in only eat a certain specific diet and and go to your house with another person like say I want to see a therapist but I want to only see a psychiatrist who is under the age of thirty who’s recently trained at school and University of the newest techniques has been informed about recovery and information possible which will result in a much better prognosis I think I don’t want to say that take religion III come from a fairly impressive religious background night my feelings Jewish and you know I’m always going to recognize that is 70 benefits from being religious spirituality and of course we recognize that our religion can include spirituality and not be religious so I do respect this Puppy Bowl at my work if you believe in God and pray and you know what I validate that and that’s going to help him get through the day even if my opinion of that help or not may be different it’s irrelevant because my job is to be supportive and helpful. I was really like to believe that God was just this thing I was going to help me and gave me a Higher Learning very much the hard way that that wasn’t the case I’m an atheist now or maybe more like a tent again you know I respect that people do what they do for whatever reason and I don’t want to condemn anybody for making a decision this different than what I believe as far as will you take medication or not you believe in God and not for you or you just help yourself or not even say it was that you mentioned a few minutes ago about your Chanley aware that you’re into that could be used to really cost I don’t want the one I used the wrong word but harm to others and I’m well aware that I also have that similar but I know that intellectually I could use my knowledge and and words to just guesstimate somebody because I am as you can probably tell from this interview station skills that I understand this stuff and I have in it select that will that will allow me to really be that way and I have to work very hard when I’m upset at people or angry people to not use that that little part of my brain that to be so Sinister and malicious because that’s not how they had to live my life and I have to be aware that I fixed her and think sometimes there’s a person with trauma in the struggle that I’ve had that it could be easy to let go and just want somebody to what I consider valuable in my life preserve and including must not in anyway you don’t go looking for complex and must not in anyway participate or feed the fire of a college because just because intellectually I could be an ass yeah man oh well yeah I think we definitely has a lot more to cover and will continue you know what other dialogue I’m going for sure and yeah I think I really like the inclusive shirt of the words you’re using I really empowering to to you know open-hearted and inclusive and accepting I want to acknowledge it is as you said very important to accept everyone where they’re at and I like what you said just getting to the Dayman really that that is what we’re all trying to do and and I see it’s the under that they say namaste acknowledging the Divine and everyone you see and and your similar likeness to them and really speaking at Divine and all things and in keeping your mind open to the truth it’s difficult when free sample we’re taking on these things the pharmaceutical. Show complex yet there’s the Paradox that you can’t just take it away in and have nothing there and you can’t make someone feel bad if they don’t have an alternative and maybe you know it’s it’s it’s a transitional saying it’s going to take a long time to take still took ten thousand years to create this absolute planetary disaster it’s not going to be fixed overnight going to take a long time to heal and and I think the the best thing that we with the punk rock ethics can bring to all forms of whether it’s psychiatric or do differences as a therapy and healing and Recovery is bringing the ethic that itch I think your people should professionals who are providing service should make a living and should be and should be to make it an honorable and decent living that Society acknowledge is the value of and help support and and that ultimately with Society valuing the work that you’re doing and the stuff that I do and other people then it can become more accessible and more available and with more severe access and it’s me know if this capitalistic hierarchy of wealth and privilege and access you know everybody is suffering we all need love and so there’s no so there’s no substitute for Love Is No Love in a pill form the love has to be through the relationship with your community and your family and your you know your romantic Partners in a nature and spirit and you know the divine all that stuff and there’s many different from weight Pathways and cultures are actually like bun all these different ways to have a have entitlement to access love and meaning in connection to the things that are going to keep us happy and healthy and yes we can bring more access than more fair opportunity resources It Whatever all this interventions that that are maybe transitional that we’re having to work with you know whether it’s the pharmaceutical medications or like you know for example you’re flying to Peru to go to the Amazon to spend weeks or months then beeps your vacation ceremony with Ayahuasca shamans and stuff like that that even as transitional because that’s not really sustainable or or local for people and it’s very limited access to people with privilege the punk rock’s. Let’s hack this stuff and Liberate the Technologies and make people in power with DIY Solutions you know and and and just make make it so there’s there’s that we provider on alternative options that are more affordable and and more you know have have integrity to whatever we choose minimizing the feeling of spelling out to anything that we don’t feel like we have integrity with everybody’s fighting a battle and we’ll all be a lot happier when we don’t contribute to perpetuate to that person’s battle or the suffering and instead if we can be understanding and empathetic and choose to not further their own suffering at you not bring us something to the effect of suffering you know we have that control and we must make that choice for her to do what’s right and I’m trying to help bring that that that that way of thinking around and make you go to listen because I believe that happiness and satisfaction for everyone in the world I mean I just wanted to ask if I could is there a website for people before we say goodbye today yeah please do and how come people follow up and get ahold of you thank you about one of my books is called better days and mental health recovery workbook which is a pump that you just people coping skills and the other is a book called you’re crazy which has the first volume at 27% accounts of people from the pump being who you are talking with her experiences with mental health drug addiction and Trauma currently have to call the contribution volume to are you crazy I just have to include people first hand accounts being mean and dealing with addiction and Trauma www.com Center calvary.com so www.bunk1.com and other coping skills workbook can be found at BWW bettordays recovery.com but it is recovery.com and there are sample worksheets and. Seuss on that pays you can download and see for yourself in if we might benefit from coming off my benefit from it at least turn them on to it thank you so much for this opportunity that has been great to speak with you definitely look forward to speaking with you again soon in the future and I’ve been my honor and pleasure to speak with you as much love and respect and up the punx else will talk to you next time to the touch of Time Podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and improving the podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Township Park. Com namaste

Egoitis TPP09

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tassalli_shamanThis is a spoken word recording of one of my “Holisticore” column entries in Profane Existence Magazine. I address the pathological state of “egoitis” where many modern/western people end up stuck for most of their adult life. It’s indicted as the cause of the failure of most of our relationships and the cause of our misery. It’s not an abstraction, it’s a living parasitic amalgamation that disempowers us when we think, speak and act unconsciously.