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TPP Aruns Yoga Smiling

My First Vedic Astrology Chart Reading with Arun TPP290

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In this episode I’m blessed to have my first vedic astrological chart reading by my new brother in tantra, Arun!

About Arun:

I am an Engineer professional and the founder of Successful start-up called eduladder.com

Born in Vedic astrology family Kerala. Travelled across the country and got lucky to meet and live with a lot of masters from different disciplines matha Chaithanyamai on Narayanagurukula and Sahadev.

My spiritual therapy and teachings are mostly based on Vedas and astrology this video is describing what and all you can get to know from an astrological chart and its basic ideas.

I also use Crowley tarot card.

These data can be used to reveal more about your relationship status your career choice and much more if you want a personalized reading and increase your energy based on that to live your life in the fullest then you could connect with me by both online and offline.

https://arunsyoga.in/

My Non Verbatim Show Notes:

A:

4th path of tantra, vedic astrology, energy transcendental state, shamans, herbs, help to reach particular state, without medicine or drugs can reach point

social conditioning

truth nature of human, true nature

some conditioning, social issues, not able to reach true potential

sometimes using drugs without the advice or true shaman or tantrika, drugs can push you back down, have to take again and again in order to stay here

TP: 4 paths of tantra, in order in a health y path, resonance with astrological energies, mindful, holistic, use of substances, stay sharp conditioned

A: exactly

here have natal chart, scroll down,

see

TP: 12 numbered titles,

A: all the rectangle, each on we call houses, 1st, 2nd,3rd, etc.

each house will be having 30 degree each,

center is where you stay, your soul, which got a body, stays in your body, that is ready to be expanded to the ultimate, through your body, that is the reason

while ..birth, planets positioned in particular part of the sky,

in 4th house, venus,…

5 th house sun moon jupiter

TP: if we’re taking the indicator being the location and time of birth, certain quality or state of gears, of the planets of universe, stars, a certain measurable quantifiable, state of energy is directly making a point of contact to space/time coordinates

scientific manner, if other babies born in that location, not exact point, vicinity, at the same time, we’d all have the same chart?

Scientific, a way to explain that, what is the external world, what is the process if you could put it on a flow chart, animation or something, beam of light from galaxy, unfolding from within, what’s happening, doesn’t start in womb, it’s at that moment

A: there is no possibility of the same chart for two people, not possible to birthed in same place at same time, taking, lines in globe,

TP: longitude and latitude

A: different from person to person, time moves, planet also moves, two different chart for two different people

TP: one more question, makes sense, perfectly, one question, don’t say to be a troll, trying to understand the logic and math of it,

what case would be made if twins born?

A: there will be seconds between, twins can’t come out at the same time

TP: math, fascinated by it, after studying crypto, map mathematical proofs onto nature, find confluence of where you have spirals, interesting patterns that actually scale, fractals,

also from natal chart,

15 degree more, 15 degree less, correcting, sometime human error can happen, half a day, one more chart

human error

understand everything from the links

in your chart I can see,

saturn is dominant energy

as planet, prominent planet

energy has a problem, it will make you to work very hard, look at your life, you can see, hard working scenarios, dragged into , even though you don’t want to, some kind of push, that happens, pushed into hard working scenario, happen because of saturns prominent energy

venus, is staying on the bindu, the planet, associated with sexual energy

actually helping, the way you have started, the way you are into, basically you are in transcendental state, capable to transcend sexual pleasure, into wisdom and understanding

as you start to evolve,

start to understand different dimensions of existence, able to go through dimensions

there is some scenarios, force you to do hard

TP: recap, saturn and venus, so if i understand, saturn energy has the effect of causing episodes of hard work that sort of abnormally hard work, certainly had long chapters of life, pushed to work harder than necessary, hopefully made me a better person, sexuality, transcendental quality, something transmutation, extra sexual alchemy power by nature?

A: venus is friendly planet for you,

sexuality you have, help you to transcend yourself into something better

also you could help others to transcend themselves through sexuality, in built quality

previous karmas, had on previous birth, thing which is helping you to use the sexuality to transcend yourself into a better your

immense power, use that to transcend yourself and help others to transcend themselves

karma, very young, something to do with sexuality, past karmas, nothing to be worried about,

helps you to reach higher state of spirituality

TP: compelling, that would validate the path that i’m on,

preset

astrology, in the west, the cards you’re dealt in this lifetime, born,

may be very attractive, or smart or both, or strong, everybody has different cards they get

in that sense, it’s god or its random, in astrological sense, cards you’re dealt, in this life time, chosen by karma, forces interplaying, free will, gods, demons, goddesses, factors, choosing very intelligently what cards you’re dealth

one of those cards, increased sexual alchemical potency, from karmas in past life, card dealt to me through karmas of past life

A: dharma house, 9th house,

dharma, clear in your chart

mars, staying on 7th house

what i can see, you like intellectual and creative women as partners

met a woman from 2011-2018

she can help you more deeply

TP: lovely question, no pun intended, constellation of shaktis, who i love dearly and i call myself a heart gardener, there’s never just one, maybe a little bit, ensemble cast, movie of my life, women are ensemble cast, not one lead role character

who ever’s in the best mood and being nice gets my attention

i chase some of them and some of them chase me, and i run away from some of them and some of them run away from me, nature of life

A: you met a woman, who can help you more deeply

if you contact with her again, you could talk with her, or she could help you more,

something, i feel there is some energy blockage, which i can feel from your presence over the phone, she can help you to release it completely

if you can do it also it’s fine, as you evolve in your life, jupiter comes

TP: you can sense blockage, if i find the smart lover she will be able to help me unblock my energy

A; deep something you feel, that can be released by lover, that lover you met already, time period 2011 to 2018

TP: so there’s a woman i could have met between 2011-2018, has the keys to unlock my energy

A: yes

TP: alright, cool, i have a few suitors in mind, be nice to know i can stop looking there, i have to go through my phone, hey i just got a reading are you the one

A: you can feel actually, somebody came into your mind, crowley tarot,

TP: exciting, why not, roll the dice

A: i can give you clue,

TP: big bucks no wammies

A: card came out, indolence and oppression

8 of cups, 10 of …

TP: don’t know if i should be elated or deflated

A: what i can see, sunset, and water, this is a clue

how to carry this heaviness, until 2036, organically it will go out

TP: 2036, 16 years from now, what happens then

A: this blockage will automatically dissolve

if you want to dissolve it before, you have to get that woman which you met, from 2011-2018, one of the lovers you had, and the clue is, sunset and water

TP: wow, okay, well i have some fantasies brewing in that department, i don’t want to wait 16 years, so i guess, i’m gonna explore that much more, yeah

A: you have venus, you could transcend this energy more deeply, you can do that

TP: awesome, appreciate that, very interesting, exciting

A: you have the shakti power, power of shakti, so whatever reason you put forth yourself as shakti worshiper, that reason will get dissolve, and you will become the shakti alone, feminine path, spirituality

one of the power, this is something which will happen to you, yoni worshiper, i have send you sexual posture for you, this posture can help you to connect more intimately with your lover, that is there on the link which i have sent you

TP: exciting, don’t think you get assigned a sexual position in a normal astrology reading

A: 2000 years of reading history in my ancestors, exactly the path of tantra, is a science which helps you to have the materialistic pleasure also the spiritual ecstasy of spiritual liberation, only science gives you both things

other religions, sexuality is a sin, something wrong, only can do spiritual practices if you have money

tantra helps you evolve self, a very wealthy person, as well as very mindful, spiritual evolved person, science help you reach that

this is the path of that, nothing wrong in that

picture i have shared you will give you more deep intimacy, lover would like to see you get excited

TP: that’s very beautiful,

made very good argument for what’s missing in the western culture, separate sexuality from spirituality, health, medicine, from personal development, intellectual/emotional

one of my tantra teachers, initiated by indian tantric priestess, talk about, everything has to go through all the chakras,

another teacher said, all paths go through the sexual chakra, there’s no way to bypass the second chakra, for purpose of circulating kundalini energy

if you want to go from root to crown, no detour, if you’re messed up sex chakra, distorted or blocked path to higher consciousness

other religions anti sex, detours, get lost, never find way to destination, in tantra, it’s a well defined path, greeted and welcomed through it, love to hear you talk about maybe next time, talk about the primal, shaktism of indigenous tribal south asian villagers, held tradition of goddess worship, no shame about nudity, lightness of skin, no bramin, no sanskrit, no rigid traditions, uncontaminated, indigenous, shaktism, where the energy flows naturally and was never disrupted by colonialism

can you find people now?

A: there are 2-3 communities, existing in india, one is in kerala, some tribes in north east, 2 things i got chance to live in these two places, basically what they’ve done, there will be hut , all the people live surrounding the hut, when woman wants, goes to hut, stays here, men will come and she will have sex with who ever she likes, no shame about what is happening there, don’t have that kind of consciousness, sexuality as a sin

no marriage problem

no son who don’t have father, everybody don’t know who is father

TP: shared paternity

every man feels responsible for children of village, no body considered an ophan

A: yeah exactly

existing still in india, north east, and south east part of india

TP: definitely a topic we’ll have to explore more deeply on another episode, right now, looking at rat yoni position, wildest position i’ve ever seen, gonna have to be practicing some serious…

made a joke, people think i’m a little bit too..people who are ascetic and pious about asexual yoga, i mock them

seems like yoga, stretching, flexibility, so you can be still, meditate longer periods without aches,

i imagine, i would want to have all this flexibility and strength, postures so i could have more fulfilling love making sessions, be in love making positions for longer,

sexual yoga, control ejaculation, not be unconscious about that, maintain erection, control ejaculation, strong, stable in positions, graduate in level of adulthood, sexual mastery, i’m seeing here

can’t wait for the world to see

now foregone conclusion, this position will have to be in tantric porn videos

you’re now a coproducer, in your chart to be a porn director?

A: thing is like people can have more deep intimacy through sex, its the other way around, dogma, sex is really fun actually

TP: playtime for adults, can you speak to , what’s your analysis of why and how the forces against freedom of sexuality, what is there logic

A: sexuality may connect you with somebody else which may not be welcomed into the family, wealth

TP: that’s very astute, exactly what i believe also, male patriarch control transmission of wealth, control sexuality of daughters, they would make illegitimate heirs, political between families, arranged marriages

A: exactly

TP: in your words, love to hear you describe what is going on in this rat yoni position, i thought i had a wild sexual imagination, i was underestimating the potential, can you describe the position

A: man is laying, holding the woman upside down, his tongue is on the vagina, of the woman, same time, woman is on the mans cock

this is kind of very deep intimate play, where you could have really deep exchange of energy, for this, both of you has to be a yogi, otherwise you’ll fall

TP: yeah, i want to describe in my words

most auspicious number is 69

so basically for those who can imagine, i have made very explicit xxx hardcore tantric porn about 10 years ago, first professional production, still well kept secret, doubt anybody will find that, in that we did various, some 69 action, what typically happens, the male is laying on back, female on top of him, they’re head and feet are inverted towards each other, achieve access mutually to engage in oral pleasure, seeing in this yogic, adaptation is that the male is sitting upright with an erect spine, legs out in front, its like you’re taking the normal 69, on the dial of a clock, that would be, basically if you were laying flat together, male suddenly sat up, 180 degrees laying flat in 69, then male partner sits up to 90 degree angle, woman is lifted up into the air, looks like head stand

what is yoga posture, woman by herself, inverted posture, legs spread freely, wow

A: don’t remember that name from that particular yoga, this don’t have a name actually, this is basically, each yoni is a representation of one animal, elephant, horse, mongoose, monkey, each yoni has one sexual posture, something which helps them to connect more deeply and intimately

you can perform this position, perform womans other position

this would be two positions will be there when sexual act happens,

TP: i don’t want to dwell on this, we can move on, definitely feel like, what you’re opening up, a lot of things i’m unaware of, notion that your sexual organs have deep personality, and preferences, better alignment with other people, match making, compatibility, like dating, tastes, eat, music, movies, if you understand scripts and patterns for sexual energy, the personality of your second chakra, how could avoid, getting to know that, if this helps you to understand that, very interesting

A: intimacy will take you more deeply, actually reach the core with sexuality, match making very important, taste in sexuality, partner some other taste, no fun

4 important planets: venus, mercury, saturn, mars

venus associated with sexuality, saturn with hard things in your life, capability to transcend sexuality to wisdom, important things which will guide your life, reduce the bad effect of the saturn,

yoga, kriya, see particular yoga posture, done, practice kriya, automatically eliminate bad effect of saturn from you, can help you decrease the hardships, being given to you by existence

TP: exercise i can do to optimize and to correct these issues, resolve with certain postures, mudras,

A: yeah like mudras, you can follow, to reposition all these energies into proper places, saturn energy, what is happening, whatever comes out of life, thought process, pushes, that will become like something else after some time

this is how life will evolve, if you can control that thought in the way you want, hardship, your life can be reduce, some postures will help you to remove those problems, you can see in my video, youtube channel,

if your practice well, reorder energies residing in you, sharper life, sharp sexual ejaculation, go really deep as well

posture which have shared with rat yoni, something a normal personal can’t perform, have to be a kind of yogi in order to perform those postures, evolve you as a being like that

TP: training and practice

A: everything require training and practice otherwise 5 or 10 minute job

TP: 5 pump chump

A: that kind of sex actually elevate energy, higher state, higher state is natural state of human beings, because of other things we came down to be, nothing like higher state, organic state of human being

TP: this is a lot to make one very good, in depth podcast episode, we’ll consider this to be one very good overview

got me as a client, excited to share this, second indian man vedic astrologer who has piqued my interested in why it’s not enough just to go to yoga studio with mat, pants, fitness routines, more deep interlocking gears of spiritual technology, machine, machine, clockwork, soul, mind, karmas, all interconnected, holistic, more holistic than being presented in the west, all mysticism beyond the yoga studio experience

i’ve been yoga classes where all they do is tell you how to move your body and breathe, then been in classes where they optimize your as radio transciever for signals from all over the cosmos, fine tune yourself

like a radio handset, all devices have programming that you have understand, or you can’t interoperate, what if you bought an internet connected device, no manual, couldn’t get it to turn on or connect

preconfiguration, customize, settings of your own device, powered by electricity, connected to signaling networks, to far reaches of universe,but not configured, yogis/tantrics developed training technology to understand, configure, connect to divine, planets, connect more deeply, with a lover, or family, or community, or farm animals, plants in garden, cycles of nature, a built in infinite capacity to optimize dynamics, you just are not gonna encounter that in the west, even by going to a yoga class

one other indian astrologer, who left an impression on me, explaining to me, possible, devadasi, consort, astrologically born, preconfigured to have voracious appetite for pleasure, be happy, not sex slave, almost volunteering to do craft she was born to do, very interesting precedent, astrologically proven to be born, happy fulfilled, dharma, exalted sex worker, i could imagine there being legal protections, if my dharma astrologically is to be a sexual worker, it’s my dharmic civil rights, astral human rights

A: everybody is different, each one is different, only thing i feel is morality, whatever you do for your happiness should not be disturbed another, violating somebody else, that is something immoral, doing whatever you want to do for your own happiness that is good, that will not disturb anybody

astrology is like blueprint, these are teh energies working on you, make stronger, very indepth life, tantra is all about, everybody has to live life deeply and intensively, get something out of life, other wise life looks very blank

A: this is like therapy, if somebody wants to get involved in intensity of life, through tantric practices, astrology is gateway, the opening, truly get connected deeply, could drop me email, i can work on chart, almost 3 hours to derive all datas from chart, take another 2-3 hours to explain everything to somebody

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Jason Tantra Blissful Profile

Seeking the Heart of Gay Tantra with Jason of Tantra4GayMen TPP289

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In this episode I’m joined again by the charming Jason Tantra, the co-founder of Tantra 4 Gay Men. He’s stepped up into a leadership role in holding sacred spaces world-wide and online for gay men to share in the glory of Tantra.

Please visit his website at:
https://www.tantra4gaymen.com/

About Jason:

Jason is the founder of Tantra4GayMen, and a pioneer of Tantra for gay and bisexual men in the UK. Trained as a counselor and as a spiritual medium, and after years of professionally working with male survivors of rape and abuse, Jason met Tantra in 2006. He immediately knew that his life purpose had become clear. Since 2008, with his husband Ingo, Jason has pursued his life as an exploration of sexual and spiritual liberation. He has done this by creating events and trainings that express this: Events where men who love men can let go, explore love, and find ways to freedom where sexuality meets spirituality.

Over 10.000 men having been through Tantra4GayMen’s work. Its two yearly Festivals are beautiful wonderlands where sex meets spirit, bringing together facilitators from the cutting edge of Tantra in a context where men can love men without holding back. Its Tantra Diploma offers a one-of-a-kind transformative experience for those who want to live Tantra as a path of personal development leading to total freedom. Currently, Tantra4GayMen is expanding these events into the USA, and Jason and Ingo are working towards their vision of a community of open, free, conscious and aware men that are happy and in love with the very world they live in and themselves.

My Non Verbatim Show Notes: 

JT: thank you for inviting me back

talking in preamble, how’s it going, not been great, 2.5 months, look what’s happened in last few days in your country, complete horror, the world for me just doesn’t feel like a happy place, talking june 2

TP: feel you on that, hard to highlight things, generally would have been positive, hopeful, tone of shadow around everything, do feel like this, anchor moment, wound keeps being exposed

tantra teachers, she talk about, start doing shadow work, wounds go deeper, generations, trauma, goes deeper and deeper

tantra/tantra4gay men, tool kit for these times

JT: gay/bi/queer men who love men, like other pockets of society, we know what isolation is, we get it, for me, never felt so isolated in childhood, early adult life, until found places I could be accepted, many years to fully evolve, understand realize I had choice about kind of person I wanted to be

this crisis happened, for me,

just panicked about men maybe living on their own, high proportion of our community live on their own, home, apartment, months, uk things starting to relax slighting, everybody still in lock down, no bodies going anywhere, world not happening as it used to be

in SF, about to do a weekend, rug got pulled out,

biggest fear, I didn’t want to hear that anybody in my community had harmed themselved because they didn’t know how to cope, first panick

performed a bit of a miracle

what I did, messaged, all my tantra teacher, and associated contacts and friends, not a time to talk about money, time to be in service, in the middle of march, created free special online program for all of community in the app

5200 members in app around globe, managed to get 40 teachers, over the 10-11 weeks free program, ran over 600-700 workshops, over 10000 participants, incredible numbers, need, incredible spaces

many different tantra teachers from around the globe, yoga classes, poetry, bedroom disco, quality of holding together through adversity

so many of my community, been affected in jobs, relationships, home, structures of lifestyle, wake up in morning, low level anxiety, teeth clentching

emotional state day to day roller coaster

free online program, migrated into subscription service, sparkly app costs a lot of money per year

giving away discounts, promo codes to make it accessible to everybody regardless of whether they can afford it

global collective community, don’t have to suffer on your own

even in times of incredible difficulty and hardship, don’t need to do it on your own

people want to love you, hold you, care about you

share with you through this experience

TP: beautiful amazing, redeeming, resilience of human spirit,

epicenter of the outbreak of politicizing the virus, can’t believe how much extra suffering and death being caused by virus being political football, fog of war

still see beauty of things like what you’re doing

diy spirit, deeply radical humanitarian, grass roots, deep bows to the architects of internet to give us ability to do this

applaud you, deep bows, foresight to build online community

infomercial promo walk through

JT: talk about before that, far more important than our sparky app

low day, low moments, stuck in my apartment in bristol, not interacting with anybody other than online, emotional roller coaster, beyond that, my belief in love

can even withstand what this pandemic, crisis, event though huge amounts of suffering, misery,

still believe in heart, strength and quietness in love, stronger than negativity, something about love

for me there was like how can we physically manifest that

role as human beings to be love in action

spiritual teachings, consciousness, matter, is our job as humans to find ways to be the truth of who we really are

in the ways that we are…with people and our selves

sometimes worry some spiritual practices very lovely, ethereal, inner, work needs to happen

but for me, truth is, how deployed, integrated, displayed, how they manage to catch behavior before they react

watch themselves watch what’s going on

bigger spirituality

often in my workshops and retreats, profound orgasmic experiences, literally feel like orgasm and universe, same thing, traveling through space and time, for me afterwards, the whole universe has fucked them or they fucked the whol universe

for me an experience, not the truth of what we’re really looking for

maybe had amazing love making session, 6 months ago, year ago, 5 years ago, experience becomes less embodied as time moves on

for me amazing experiences almost a biproduct of what tantra offers

ability to have profound amazing fuck experiences, but actually the truth of those, is how they were integrated into your life, moment to moment

energy, being, learning that your being is running the show, operating the show

for me, is the experience, is the truth of who we really are, actually one big orgasm, state of bliss trying to understand itself on this thing called planet earth

for me, bliss love, truth all kind of similar qualities of the same thing I’m pointing to

how we bring that down here on this thing called planet earth

climate change, 50-100 years left, real issues, people we put in power around the world

for me what tantra does, alchemizes, changes perspective, back to a truth you can’t forget, weekend of tantra, can’t go back, can’t undo experiences

humans, come a long way, quite a long way to go

TP: eco sexuality, eco spirituality, inherent in tantra, always love the way people express that, brad amberheart, poetic integration, exploring nature, planet, fabric of cosmos, deepest roots of tantric scriptures, attitudes people had to abundance of nature, abandonment of hierarchies of yoga and bramanism, ecological radicalism, tantra heyday, like berkeley 60s event, full circle to that

medibations visualizations seeing world leaders having a tantric dancer come and bewitch them, seduce them into shakti vortex, having them be an expression of that

electric jesus, jonathan talat philips, all these leaders, rulers, egomaniacal, one big giant snowballing bad mood, curse of dictators in permanent bad mood,

spiritual practices, moving, dancing,

tantra4gay men global synchronized disco

giving back, service, apply, deploy

if you’re doing tantra you’re probably producing net positive energy outflow, gives you extra budget to spend on charitable loving acts

JT: first part, something about, contraversial,

TP: tantraversial

JT: we end up believe what’s being presented in front of us is the truth, come to america often, friends, people, news channel on 24/7, caught up in story of what’s happening on tv screen, that is their reality, spiritual journey of tantra is being able to see what’s going on

and not necessarily needing to get involved with it, not saying we should ignore the worlds problems, understanding we have choice, choose who we want to be with things happening

gay men, generalizing, being a sexual being, didn’t know the word gay existed, knowing I was different wasn’t good news

at age of 18, if I could take a tablet to turn straight I would have done it

not welcomed news at age of 18

america, religion done a lot of damage to sexuality, expression

repressed, clamped down, never know, alternative way of being

celebrate

brad amberheart, good friend, love brad, such a poetic way, way of speaking,

the point I’m saying, for me, what I’m wanting to bring in tantra, vehicle for freedom, actually if you see an animal in the zoo, suddenly open up the gate, so conditioned, in box, perimeter, doesn’t know the gates open

same as humans, all conditions to live a certain life, believe certain things, don’t know there’s something beyond

don’t really understand human potential, have clues, but not fully understanding

for me, what I’m seeking to do in tantra is enable people who’ve had so much experience, intimacy, spirituality, multiple orgasms, becomes normal, being in a state of orgasm, becomes normal way of being, then look at the world

hold orgasmic energy, state of bliss, knowing, love, truth,

power in that, that no body can take away, no outside circumstances can ever move you from that place

is that the spiritual journey

know the truth of who we really are, beyond the experience being presented in front of us, then have choices how we want to interact, deal with problems, and things we need to deal with

TP: beautiful, promise of tantra I have learned, you can transmute pain, trauma, suffering, fuel for fire of pleasure, magic, prayers, blessings, creating ceremonies, reclaim, ritual, paganism,

talking about politics of the world we live in , curious, I’m not into politics, anarchist, idealistically, consensus, direct democracy

curious, have any ideas, notions about, leverage points of queer people, different political power, mission to initiate people with power, and to empower them with shakti, shaktipat, kundalini

possibility of everybody, leading from a place, smell a flower and have orgasm, continual compounding orgasm, lacking in political leadership

JT: my mission as if I can help men, that’s my audience, find the truth of who they are inside themselves, whatever their life is meant to be, can than manifest

if you know love, know your own process, I know when I’m reacting from fear, anger, a place of love, a place of conditioned value system, having developed that awareness, gives you choice, choice is freedom

poliitcal, structures that we have, not about choice, not about freedom

agree, many political structures, not interested in evolution of humans, different values, priorities people put above that

we are, I don’t know if we’re waking up to it

but look at history of human nature, levels of politicization, kept people living in certain boxes, frameworks

not okay to have opinion, think something different outside of system,

many countries around the world that have done that

I’m after personal liberation in side

know it so much, so powerful inside of you, what happens outside doesn’t touch you in the same way

a lot of men I work with, have many issues before can get to that

working through, in classroom as it were, men that are confused, lost, that are dissatisfied, men typically come to tantra because they’re unhappy with something, or know or believe there is something better

tantra deals with sexuality makes it an easier sell than a meditation weekend

TP: done a lot to lather up the orgasmic energy, lot of hope and positivity

to be fair to the path there a bit of shadow exploration I’d want to throw into this

something you said right now, how people find this path, really is small fraction

tantra teacher from south africa, put it well, if you’re on a crusade to try to enlighten everybody on the tantric path, I got news for you, basically its like, at any given time on earth, percentage of humans alive, spiritual seekers, very small, of that percentage the people who actually make it a few steps before turning back is even smaller

the people who do make it there, do their best to hide

build your temple on the highest mountain

other narrative, make it accessible, easier to at least get access to filtering and initiation

not be ripped off, raped, molested, abuse, financial abuse, fraud, spiritual industrial complex

cherish the work your doing

polishing gems

something came to mind, point of acknowledging beauty of these art forms

thread of tantric scholarship around notion that rama krisna, rebooted tantric kali worship, for a whole new wave of accepting of the dark goddess, sexuality, wildness, transgression of dark goddess energy of tantra, socially/culturally engineering to be more acceptable, orthodox households

scholars argue, he was a flamboyant gay man, devotees, I’m not the scholar, something for people to look into, interesting and deep study

when I’ve been exploring that rabbit hole, rama krishna cult of kali in tantra, one of the gurus of lineage, giving satsang, the people who show up at kali temple, usually there, in some form of despair, acute life event, or series of events, brings them to the feet of the dark goddess at kali temple, in shambles, at least there will be peace, there will be love

other traditions, sex negative, homophobic, have to deny parts of yourself to be loved, tantra temple bring whole self, baggage, sins, homosexuality, still get fully love, healed, peace

JT: one questions I’ve had, why do gay people exist, has nature fucked up and made it wrong, trans, gay women, all different permutations, humanity, labels, why do they exist

wonder, consciousness wants to know it’s truth in this density of matter, in every single permutation it can possibly muster up, no 2 humans ever the same

part of the exploration of truth is this planet, could be every single permutation of itself , so it can know truth at every level

love the fact that trans agenda has come up in last few years

everybody worthy of love, everybody is love

society needs to evolved, challenge ego, ideas, normal, okay, love does not discriminate

conflcts that go on for me, invitations go move into deeper stages of love,

america last 2 3 days, absolutely horrific, the way its been handled horrific, can’t feel love, compassion, apology

understandably people are pissed, really angry

feel whole situation needs to find resolution in love

politics, tricky ground, america has not answered a lot of social issues it has, people are pissed, angry, rightly so, they know there’s a truth beyond the structures of society

TP: on point, pretty moderate, things could be said more extreme, I’ve been on front lines of resistance, carrying a variety of different flags,

chills, people who’ve really hurt other people, seeking the heart of tantra

salvation for sinners, people who intentionally, sociopathic, harmful, narcissistic, if love is this vibration, give it a personality, hinduism, devis, deva, personalities, all pointing to ineffable vibration of love, om mantra, resonance, if you’re hurting people because you don’t know how to love or weren’t loved enough

tantric temple recalibrate love compass, do less harm, become a healer

JT: diana ross, chain reaction, we’ve seen that in different times in history, invitation right now, change more love to happen, other thing, always said in teachings, human beings don’t change from a place of comfort, always change from place of suffering, what’s motivation to change, if miserable, isn’t working, something isn’t right, questioning, what’s going on here

wonder whether misery is a good thing

original tantra, tantra I teach is neo-tantra, osho, his body of work, my teaching lineage, comes from work that he created, teaching for 15 years, evolved and developed methods/ideas

psychotherapy, large proportion in my work, want people to learn how to integrate, give words to experience so rest of body and being can integrate

original tantra, ingo, years of academic information, original tantra for me, born out of dissatisfaction, that said at the time that only people of a high class and men, were worthy enough to access spiritual teaching, and soul evolvement,

tantra, a spiritual journey could be accessible to everybody regardless of caste

spiritual journey available for everyone

original tantra, different rituals

often people think original tantra is the best, is the more authentic, more amazing, some of original rituals, vegetarian or vegan, hold a piece of meat for next 5 days, and see how we get on with that , as a meditation, don’t know about you but if I was going to sell a workshop with that as the primary ritual, don’t think I’d have many takers

talk about the tantra that I and other people offer is of its time, the tantra we’re teaching now is of its time, we need to learn who to be okay with sexuality, have relationships with our body, understand the truth about orgasm and bliss, deal with the crap that gets in the way of shame, judgments, guilt,

some methods about moving people through a spiritual journey of where we are in 2020

TP: totally agree with that, notion of intelligently consciously triggering yourself with transgression activities

aghori sadhu, eating from skulls, extreme deprivation, acts of rejection of orthodoxy

to your point on adapting that best intentions of transgressive stuff, bicuriosity, ritual container, what is it that’s holding you back from experiencing double love and excitement,

taking phobia, turning it loving ritual container, it your point, tantra as tool kit for adapting to repression of your time, mean something different to everybody of every different culture

difference between eating rotting flesh in graveyard, and piece of art that signifies, it, if it gets the job done, maybe you don’t have to do the life threatening things

Tantric Quest, book, description of his experience of encountering wild yogini, heart of transgressive, jedi training, she was his yoda, sexual initiatrix

are there gay tantra books for men that narrate that process of initiation, not necessarily with indian, gay man guru, that would be pretty stellar, book you give coming of age literature about tantra

JT: didn’t have that tradition in england, when we came of age, think it was a bottle of alcohol, the world needs a good gay tantra book, on my to do list, one day, when stopped manifesting and creating, moved on to the next stage, curious around how we pass knowledge on to each other, are books the right way of doing it

talking about that app, curating and talking about experience of tantra, practices, things you can do, a lot more accessible, absorb knowledge books v online

feel something should be recorded for the time purposes, kind of put together, the world does need a good gay tantra book, don’t think there is one, or haven’t seen one

TP: cliff hanger, just talking other day, did meet up called kundalini monologues, love idea of curating the online museum of gay tantra, website, database, ways for people to be searching content

JT: app, talk about spiritual things, have to go back and talk about business/organizational

TP: got 7 chakras to distribute that load,

JT: chakras could do with a vacation

app with developers 18 months, alternative to grindr, scruff, wanted to appeal offer, another way to do this thing called a gay life

different way than what’s being proported by different apps out there,

asked ingo, husband, co-founded/co-runs tantra4gaymen

went shopping, ingo, finance director, said I could spend some money, bought off the shelf app, 10s of thousands of dollars to run every year

for people curious about tantra, wanted to know more, also to me an online, loving, caring family, global

5200 men, mostly uk, usa, europe, astralia, south africa, click on members near me, find local tantra men, big news feed, free content, goes in dailiy, articles videos, questions, pictures, people we buy it from, shocked, our audience so involved, statistics off the scale

global tantric community of men, keeps us all together, profiles, messaging, members near me, topics, article, writing, recordings, could go on about all of that, all for free, easily downloadable in tantra for gay men app

TP: that’s so amazing, a lot of things are flashing for me, something niche, overexemplifies the technology platform

attention, marketing,

if gay men in the tech industry, IT, webdev, are they covering this app as a news item, free press/pr for fact that it’s breaking chart numbers, gotten people reaching out, wow I want to create a plug in

JT: could always do with more, gotta get the word, out, anybody’s listening has avenues for that to happen, I’m all ears

how do we finance, all functions features, free, want them to remain tree, launched academy, miracle, 40 teachers, premium subscription $25 a month, tantra love academy, inside app, 120 live workshops every month, collective of 40 teachers, each doing 2 or 3 workshops about everything

yoga, tantra,

really the best tantra spiritual teachers in our kind of community, offering workshops as part of academy each month

promo code, 1 month free subscription

TP: love and creativity from gay community, light years ahead, very impressed, super excited

bored and frustrated with apathy a lot of sectors in the straight world, more balanced, flowing, creative energy, queer communities, more invigorating, more fun, west hollywood more fun, follow the fun, get over it

JT: why do I do all of this, for me, it comes back to my belief in love, that is the ultimate truth,

vocation, dedication of my life, help men find that truth, or find their own truth inside themselves, thanks for having me

tantra4gaymen.com

download app

tantra4gay men app in google or apple store

Sequioa and Ziji

Gay Tantra in Canada and Beyond with Sequoia and Ziji of Men in Touch TPP288

Play

In this episode I have the great honor and pleasure of exploring the diverse and complimentary paths of two gay tantrikas in Canada, and discussing many intersections spirituality and sexuality

About Sequia:

I view life as a school for love.
My life intention is to live in the heart of union…in the eternal oneness of now.
For over 30 years I’ve been sharing with others the practices I find most helpful to get out of the overloaded, busy mind, and connect more with the heart, breath and body, where unity and love live. It’s all about High Level Wellness…in body, heart and soul.

I have a special passion for sharing with other men what I’ve been learning about the deeper dimensions of intimacy, including full-body sensual massage, many practices drawn from Yoga and Tantra, and more recently the profound “Into Me See” of eye-gazing meditation and “We Space.”

Learn more at growinghealthier.com and menintouch.org

About Ziji:

Ziji is a facilitator at Men In Touch, teaching men skills and practices to deepen intimacy and integrate spirituality and sexuality. In addition, he is a tantric bodyworker, yoga instructor (RYT), organizer of the Ignite Festival (ignite-fest.com), and amateur queer scholar. He makes a home in Coast Salish Territory, Vancouver, and spends as much time at the nude beach as possible! Find him at gaymassagevancouver.com

My Non Verbatim Show Notes:

TP: why not rainbow tantra

S: vietnam veteran, out of air force 1972, bee line to berkeley

very free very open

discovered, alternative spirituality, blossoming then TM, massage, holistic practices, hatha yoga, beginning to become known, fringey

explore sexuality, tantra, contradicted all the catholic upbringing I had

spirituality/sexuality same energy expressed in different ways

opposite of christian belief

body impediments to spirtuality

intrigued 80s, bay area, aids epidemic, helpful if gay brothers were aware of practices that didn’t involve penetration, fluid exchange, much more about subtle energy,

started workshops, 1987, 33 years

thrilling to watch men discover more layers of intimacy

Z: I’m much younger, about almost 4 decades, grew up in different context, calgary, alberta, suburban, typical suburban conservative culture

turned to spirituality, early 20s, tibetan buddhist

monastery 2 years, nova scotia

separate from sexual life

moved to vancouver, 8 years ago

exploring, alternative things

going to sequia’s workshop, men in touch workshop about massage

attended that workshop, transformative experience, all this stuff I had learned, practice, in that non sexual context of spirituality

unified it with whole other dimension of being, becoming more important to myself

starting to discover power of sexuality

met about 7 years ago, had profound connection

personal, year or so, invited to co-teach

co-facilitating, weekly classes in vancouver, retreats, rural areas, every year festival, last 3 years, annual festival ignite festival, a lot going on, a lot of fun

S: mostly what I came to experience, sexual explorations in bay area, men

level of intimacy felt shallow, getting hard, getting off, didn’t satisfy something in me, seemed like fast food

intuition, past lives, knowingness something more, keen to keep exploring tantra, one workshop, bay area 70s

berkeley guy about my age, joe kramer

same classes, m chia, multi orgasmic man

microcosmit orbit, fascinating, moving energy, both sexual and spiritual

joseph, convo, similar interests, created body electric school, life changing for many people, pioneering, presenting workshop around conscious sexuality

less sexual more meditative and sensual

met wonderful guy in sf, body work as I had been, different kinds of movement classes, yoga for gay men, dance like stuff

doug fraiser, conversation, decided to collaborate, events called light tough retreats for loving me, weekend retreats bay area, near seattle

full body sensual eroticism, more meditative than goal oriented

ziji, been collaborating, delighted where he’s been taking our work, I’m 75, ziji 34, radical direction, just dozen guys at a time, ziji, taking it virtual, planet wide

z: mostly been working with classes retreats, beautiful containers, men go deeply, came across other modality, other container, festival, different experience, more people, usually not one container, people are popping in and out of workshops, different experience, neither better than other

offering ignite festival, last 2 years, in person, vancouver, this year got cancelled, covid, decided to do it virtual

ignite festival, online, unexpectedly all over the world, joining festival,

people from every continent, really quite and amazing experience to have that

always been more local, regional, beautiful experience

inspiration came to us, do offer really truly global festival, partnered with man in berlin, singapore, each taking 1/3 of the world, 24 hour a day festival, people can join in

invite many teachers, plurality, organizing it

invite teachers from body electric, not necessarily around sacred sexuality,

emotional, embodiment practices, etc.

no plans to be doing this kind of thing, silver linings of covid epidemic, new models, new ways of connecting

S: I would say focus of everything we do is exploring for me, many levels of intimacy, men tendency go for groin, pleasure of that so obvious in male body

ziji and I both discovered, emotional communication, meditative presence, loving kindness meditation, self, partner, group setting, level of compassion into intimacy, whole realm rarely considered

realms of intimacy, exploring

TP: great to hear,

both of you familiar with gay tantra, william shindler, one of my favorites, recommend for any seeker of tantric path how well, beyond sexual components, spiritual development components, transliterated for people not versed in hinduism, sanskrit, or yoga

get a sense of what they would be signing themselves up for

interesting point made, astute sanskrit scholar, one of foremost folks to have facts straight, promoting idea, notion, false dichotomy

paraphrase, within divine marriage, channel divine masculine, divine feminine, whatever ratio, share with partner or group

no reason people of same sex can’t feel obliged to consider themselves the complete circuit

no mention of gay in the tantras

temples sculptures, you see female bisexuality in service to men

have you explored or found interesting artwork, statues, classical tantra, guidance for people of diverse sexualities to explore these archetypes, energies in same sex context

S: tantra, oral tradition, guru to disciple, sexual aspects, less overt, less widespread, left handed path, less widely known, haven’t come across much in ancient writings, not scholar

not much written reference, studied with rudy balantime, swami rama, india, background in tantras, rudy bisexual, late 70s, tantra tradition see shiva shakti as symbolic, not literal,

man and woman can embody, so can to men, two women, inner alchemy, not matter what our plumbing, embody, all aspects of gender, express in love making, no matter gender of partner

exercises, meditations, inner marriage, inner shiva/shakti

Z: agree with everything, different dimension, concept of queer erasure in history, so often queer love is seen as counter/dangerous to narrative of normal society, to different degrees in different cultures, my own personal historical knowledge, from western tradition, prechristian cultures, also a lot of cultural differences the way we talk about relationships, queer love relationship would perhaps be quite different

spoken about quite differently , modern readers, may see or understand what is being written,

the story of achelles, partner, long stories about these too, never referred to them as fact they had sex, lovers per se, so often express their love for one another, brotherly love, comrades in arms

kind of like, from a historical perspective, how do we read history, to what degree are we imposing on history

missing from what’s been written, complicated topic

experience of tantras, not much written down, aware at least in tibetan context, guru disciple relationship, incredibly intimate, seldom written down

tibetan contenxt, patriarchal, male teacher, male student, would not be surprised, if using sexual energy as one of transmissions of teaching

homosexuality in tibetan monasteries well documented, not in ancient times, last 100 years, more exposed to the world

definitely happening, question of how do it get spoken about

TP: thank you so much, so well said, maybe somebody has been studying, great project for anybody who’s got researchto

lesbian desire in ancient and modern india, high on my book list, hope that will shed some light on good stuff

it breaks my heart when I hear people say, I want to do tantra but it’s only for straight people

curious about, what is the tantra community scene, millieu like in canada, different laws around sex work, cannabis, maybe other entheogens, a bit of a report on if anything very interesting about cultural climate, setting your in, insight into that life style there

S: started life in us vietnam vet, fell in love with vancouver in late 80s, smitten by city

90, still in love with city as years ago

somewhat more permissive culture

cannabis, tacitly accepted,

laws about sexuality, less enforced

hasn’t been kind of religious fervor that often occurs in us around laws around sexual behavior

erotic massage, began in berekley, felt safe, here feel even safer

appreciate that aspect of our culture here

Z: I would say, also in terms of sex work laws in canada, we’re currently scandanavian model, not illegal to sell sex work, somewhat illegal to market, buy, anything beyond selling is considered illegal

vancouver pd, statements, don’t enforce bilays pertaining to sex work, definitely see it quite differently,

not an idea system, decriminalization, main ideal target, overall

generally find, I feel much more comfortable being here than in america

more pacific northwest, more people from seattle, portland from anywhere in eastern canada, even alberta

can’t speak for rest of canada, some folks doing gay tantra in toronto,

a little bit happening in montreal as well too, it’s happening, it feels like most of the gay tantra work is still happening in other parts of the world

men in touch, also on forefront, canada as whole, doesn’t yet feel like a bastian, so speak of gay tantra

S: moved up from california, quite a bit less advanced around alternate spirituality, new map, tantra, has really changed in last 10 years,

going through facebook, social media,

part of whole west coast culture

southern california

vancouver very much part of that

put down, all the fruits and nuts roll west,

west coast much more progressive, in canada as well as us

TP: good to know

people up there already make some use of that intel, hoping that canada will lead north america in full legalization of sex work, know of efforts to keep rocking that boat,

I was a little bit more excited than I should have been, fine print, not friendly to both sides of transaction, consumer buyer, sex buyer, consumer of erotic services

lobbying, grass roots stuff, ?

S: in general we have to really hand it to the women, women in sex work, activist, most vocal, done the most to even get us this far, continues, women are most severely impacted by sex work laws, urgent crisis and need, safety livelihoods

Z: pushback, people are pushing the govt

if it’s every gonna happen in canada, be with more progressive govt

sex work law is always kinda not most important, not on minds of middle class, most people, base of these parties, unfortunately gets shelved

S: people hassled by police, walking the streets, neighbors call

other than that, when sex work is not in peoples faces who don’t want to see it, police not being proactive to go out and enforce it, different from us, entrapment

TP: fosta/cesta, tantrikas doing body work, whole spectrum everybody posting ads, backpage, craigslist, shut down, witch hunt, the internet policing of marketing on line, light touch, don’t bother you, hang shingle on line, not creating public nuisance, out of side out of mind

Z: have my own website, private practice, gaymassagevancouver.com

pretty obvious what it is I’m offering, not that cloaked, don’t feel afraid about that, more the effect is in, there’s still stigma, in our society around it, for example, would not want my neighbors knowing about the work I do, not illegal, but people can still make life very difficult

tread carefully around, not being public nuisance, not legal perspective, neighbors, land lords, have a lot of power over me as a renter

how much canada can have an effect on us

previous prime minister

decriminalized homosexuality, 1969

test lab for us, more progressive policies, us politicians, hmm looks like it’s working, maybe we’ll try it down here

TP: thanks for sharing, chills, wow, what an epic and brave, want to book up on history of that moment, rare, goes back, that was the magical year, a lot of good stuff happened

curious to what extent, language, tool kit, together, separately, neo tantra, extrapolating from modern gurus lineages, dance with translating teachings to offerings in modern world

adapt, relanguage, gay tantric perspective, notion of helping facilitate kundalini activation, initiation, riding the snake, wild ride of energy

why and how it erupts, orthodoxy around straight, tantric practices, not short cut but juicier way than sitting with hands folded, by yourself

how would you approach it, romance with kundalini shakti vibe

S: close to my heart, introduced to kundalini, Baba Muktananda, guru traveled world several times 70s and 80s

activating people’s kundalini, directly through shaktipat

had taste in that experience about kundalini awakening,

own that this is very phallocentric, perspective, like to view, with other gay men, entire energy body as phallus, penis, let energy build up from pelvis to crown

ejaculation out the crown of the head, fountain flow, energy thighs, genitals, through chakras, caress energy, up the middle, up and out

partners, massage table use that format, take people into new consciousness, kundalini as useful metaphor probably is that be definitely energy does shift, working with that intention, instead of conventional ejaculation

TP: really healing and sweet, people feel like they’re not gonna be missing out, or left out or excluded

heteronormative schematics

really encouraging

Z: my take on that is, just to kind of also balance that out, important to be having energetic experiences, also large portion of our work, different dimension, learning how to deepen intimacy, different quality, not usually as intensely sensory, energetic in that way, much more, other skills we’re trying to encourage, what does it mean to really be with somebody, be energetically kind of connected, recently last couple years, new concept of we space meditation, subtle states of shared consciousness, could include touch, not required

to me, my interest is more like, that feels to me like the real interesting part, one thing to have personal experience within own body, somebody’s massaging you, activating you, energetic release, beautiful experience, fruition of that, gone through kundalini awakening, has to have some sort of effect on us, when we moved the energy that way, can come into deeper states of clarity, stillness, presence,

fruition, communicates beyond just personal experience

TP: awesome, vagina monologues had pansexual tantra meed up in la, kundalini monologues, hopefully will take off some day, great time, different stories, so many, wow, lot of good stuff, definitely some horror stories too

Z: key, how do you create safe container for people to be experiencing these experiences, enough structure, to digest experience, otherwise, profoundly disorienting kind of experience

S: one of the tools learned early on in 70s, tantra workshop, same sex, all male tantra workshop, stan russell, tools used back then, eye contact, breathing together simple

80s, body electric, incorporate a bit of that, never as much as I wanted, eye gazing powerful practice in and of its self

we space meditation, promoting form of meditation

gazing into partners eyes, can be done on zoom

being with partner, holding eye contact, attempting to describe verbally, what’s going on

consciousness

quite an altered state that that leads to, ziji and I teaching

roots in tantra tradition, nothing to do overtly

connect deeply with romantic partners, total strangers

TP: beautiful thing, ancient practices techniques, occultism, cult of personality

west wants to secularize, messier, problematic, end up with more generalized, less cultural bound experience

adapted things like orgasmic meditation, may have had tantric training, indian gurus, to make it compute average multicultural western mind, strip away mythical archetypes, hindu mythological structures

we’ve salvaged in the west, western neo tantra, kundalini tradition, yoga asanas, general teaching, rarely offered, some experience, always seeking more, mudras, yantras, mantras, fundamental profound primal role, vibrations, sound, bija mantras, activating chakras, so much of that stuff, sometimes is very bound with religious dogma, archetypes, can also be more energetic, an anatomical energetic way of teaching

integrate or have reference upon mantras, mudras, in your offerings

S: tm, mantra based, Baba Muktananda kundalini awakening, om namah shivaya, so hum,

powerful, chanting of them find very transformative,

a little reluctant, people in west, wary, religiousity, hesitant to bring in too much, turn people off, almost always do oming, mantra, om

men in cirlce hug, ah sound, o, m, carry on for a while, quite wonderful, blend them, hear them unify over time

profound

Z: personal background with tantra, not in hindu, tibetan buddhist, a lot of esoteric tantric teachings within

takes quite a bit of, understanding, background structure, communicate, what this tradition is trying to say, very personally rewarding, feels like a lot of pitfalls, possible misunderstandings that can take place, generally speaking I find, my work I really informed by that, not explicitly referring specific deities, mantras, esoteric sadhanas, or whatever

S: creating sacred space, one of ingredients we invite men to join us in, letting go of ordinary chit chat, most contant non verbal, set out of busy urban life for whole weekend, movement touch, conscious breathing, nonordinary state of consciousness, I hope informs the rest of their lives, states of consciousness are available,

TP: definitely so many different schools all over the east, probably all agree on, path of integrating pleasure for spiritual development, does the work of a 1000 mantras, touch, centeredness in moment, sensate focus,

advanced yogis, alluded, quality of attention and focus is what you’re going for, the actual prescribed numbers of repetitions, grading on the curve, lowest common denominators, to make sure they get in the fold

Z: one of last few tibetan teachers, trained in pre chinese, tibet, very revered, visiting monastery, giving teachings, one nugget

two paths to liberation the path of pain and the path of pleasure, most people take the path of pain, just laughed,

we are all about exploring the path of pleasure

TP: that says it all, love that so much

so great so fun to have round table on this, invite you back anytime, more deeply, promote, things available, to broader community world wide through internet, good to promote that stuff, shout out, for website

Z: main website, menintouch.org, ignite festival, ignite-fest.com, each have own private practice, gaymassagevancouver.com, sequia, growthinghealthier.com

Mike Stabile with FSC Logo

If You Like Porn You’ll Love the Free Speech Coalition with Mike Stabile TPP287

Play

In this episode I’m joined by Mike Stabile of the Free Speech Coalition for an exploration of his personal journey into the adult industry, the history and mission of the FSC, and his role in helping to validate and destigmatize the adult entertainment industry

About Mike:

Director of Communications

Pronouns: He / Him / His
Mike Stabile is a journalist and documentary filmmaker who has written about and advocated for sex workers and sexual speech for over a decade. His work has been published in a wide range of publications, including the Daily Beast, Salon, Buzzfeed, Playboy and the New York Times. Seed Money, his documentary on pornographer philanthropist Chuck Holmes was named one of the Best Documentaries of 2015 by The Advocate.

Stabile founded Polari Media to help non-traditional communities and businesses better communicate with a mainstream audience. He has handled communications for the Free Speech Coalition since 2013.

https://www.freespeechcoalition.com/

https://twitter.com/mikestabile

My Non Verbatim Show Notes

MS:

thanks for being a member, supporter,

really important organization, adult industry as we know it would not be in existence if not for fsc and other free speech advocates

personal journey, started 2 decades ago

journalist, editor in SF, freelance in NY, moved back to SF, early 2000s,

internet taking off in regard to adult

freelance work for adult companies, coming online

fascinated by industry/culture

gay man, positive relationship with porn, sexuality in general,

gay community, different relationship with adult content, less shame, seen as part of healthy sexuality, compontent, rather than something you have to fight, it’s a tool in the tool box

took to the industry, met people really smart, doing interesting things

lot of room for creativity

worked at alt weeklies,

seemed like this was a new frontier

both money and will to try to do new things

community based in SF at that time, much of gay porn world based in SF, not the case necessarily today

a lot going on, working with naked sword

going on sets teaching self how to film behind the scenes content

invited by studios, go in, film things they could put on dvds, or websites, bonus content

met a lot of interesting directors, performers

started thinking about what I could do with those sort of skills

eventually decided I wanted to make a documentary

not necessarily about adult industry, some of the stories as it had been

worked on documentary about god father of gay porn industry, chuck homes

80s, different from today, arrested put in jail, really basic vanilla content,

depending on locality, how bad they wanted you, shut down your business, federal prison 3 or more years

early …people didn’t want to be photographed, didn’t want to be seen, everything was underground, sell out back of cars, cloak and dagger

government such a hostile force

reagan admin, meese commission, didn’t like it, series of crackdowns

become the beginning of the free speech coalition

needed time to work on documentary, needed time, money

wrote for new york times, buzzfeed, salon, wasn’t enough to survive

started freelancing, got called into kink.com

they were having some issues, needed somebody to help them with media, at the time getting a lot of attention not all of it positive

they needed somebody who could help

I know industry, the world, other side of media

disconnected, people aren’t understanding what you’re doing

took them on

from there, recommended to FSC

head of kink recommended I started working with them

work with a number of other companies as well

indy films, sex tec, sex educators,

pro bono work with sex workers

help better communicate their story to a mainstream world, to a civilian world

really fascinating, myths people have about the industry

longer I’m in it, almost 2 decades now,

how inventive resourceful, smart people in industry are

came from a bit of a carny family NJ

affinity for liminal entertainment industry

really funny ,feels like home, thought would be detour, might be where I was meant to be

with FSC about 7 years, worked with them on prop 60 campaign, fight against mandatory condoms,

organization, got start in late 80s early 90s, about 30 years old, it arose when after a series of vice raids in los angeles, coming out of the 80s where you had meese commission shutting people down, fbi shutting people down based on recommendations

originally legal defense fund

if somebody was busted, lapd raided your offices, fbi agent in conservative area like alabama ordered your vhs tape, it wasn’t just a criminal conviction you had to face, it was gonna drain your business and drain your money

anti porn forces really knew

order something like, vhs in alabama, in utah, in another conservative location, boom, they would go after you for selling obscene materials across state lines

wouldn’t even be able to get conviction, but having to fight 3 different criminal cases in federal court or even a raid at your studio, incredibly draining, easy way to put people out of business

federal govt trying to put people out of business

take a big distributor/producer, really make an example out of them

people really scared

originally FSC defense fund

fight and not go out of business

evolved into advocacy organization in mid 90s

CA state govt decided to tax adult content, something like 25%

unconstitutional, singling out specific type of speech

probably going to pass

fsc shifted gears, going to sacramento, lobbying, figuring out how to work within this system, was able to defeat it

TP: astronomical tax, argument to use for enforcement

MS: predates me, money going to go something like domestic abuse victims, sexual assault victims, or sex trafficking, still seeing this today, legislation proposed, most recent, put a filter on all computers sold in south carolina, block adult content, if you want it removed you have to pay state $20 for them to remove it, really bad legislation, most doesn’t go very far, passionate ideology, hates porn, say gonna take money fight, sex trafficking, sexual assault, something they thing porn causes

way to get money, another way for them to link it to something they believe is one of the ills caused by porn

number of battles, ongoing battles to this day

famous battles, supreme court, law passed, you can’t have any representation of somebody under age on your site, should have anything that looks like CP, should have any cartoons

legislation, incredibly broad, somebody in pig tales, site called barely legal, are they going to use this law to go after me, are they going to then start going through films and say you know what, this person may be of age, it was criminalizing, something ….gives appearance they may not be 18, subjective thing to say

unconstitutional, isn’t a crime,

big battles fought, early 2000s, fight over documents

broadest view, its become harder and harder to get obscenity convictions

so much content online,

because obscenity test, supreme court uses, 3 part test,

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miller_test

80s and 90s, vhs tape small town in utah, trial in utah say to jury, does this violate your community standards

internet, community standards incredibly broad

how do you say this violates community standards, people passing around most obscene things on tumblr, twitter

fsc after advent of internet, byzantine regulatory battles

backdoor ways they could try to do censorship

record keeping provision, still in effect, we were able to limit it in various ways

in order for you to post something on website, whether you created it or not, sexually explicit or nude, copy of personal id, model release, separate room in home or office, cross filed all these different ways

2257 regulations, update

goal was to make sure that a person like you couldn’t post a nude photo from your site from somewhere else, they would have to have records for all these things

affiliate site, merely showed a photo

it wasn’t about whether or not these people were of age or not, that was held by primary producer, it was really about not allowing these to travel

backdoor ways of limiting the adult industry’s ability to work freely

really want to make it harder and harder and can’t do it through courts, byzantine ways make life more difficult, too costly

if you violate one thing, or mess up one thing you can go to federal prison

fsc,

in california, regulations that will say you need to adhere to same standards as any other work places, can’t have close physical contact, mask and googles in contact with bodily fluids, don’t apply to mixed martial arts/sports, blood and sweat flying

apply to adult industries, ah ha you have to do these things or we’re gonna fine you, possibly put you in jail

fsc, been really active, industry representative, in those meetings, going to capital, meeting with legislators

helping them understand, think our industry is much different

most people outside, think, its a bunch of drugged up people and sex slaves, idea it’s a bad industry

even if this law is a little bit unconstitutional, targeting them specifically, we’re doing it for their own good

save these women, stop the people becoming addicted to porn, whatever they’re going to use

fsc, what I try to do at my position, destigmatize, help people understand what we are and aren’t

have our own best practices

on set, it’s not a free for all

tested every 14 days

checklist gonna do this or not gonna do this

regulations, best practices

change the way people see us

at least in california

TP: wasn’t first condom law, the AHF, 2016, I remember marching in the streets of hollywood

MS: I was at that march as well, inspiring, all these sex workers marching in street fighting against idea that they need someone to save them

workers come out, you know nothing about my work, we didn’t ask for your help, if you want to know I can tell you but it’s not this

TP: just did interview with Corey Silverstein, struggles on horizon, current now,

thoughts on officially defunct, attempt to create a state-wide food handlers permit of adult, IEAU, fsc position on whether or not that was furthering hope, more sophisticated dialog

MS: still face things all the time, most recently, not just people coming from outside industry with ideas, sometimes people within industry, had experience, want to fix that, in general we welcome that

dialog about how we can make sets safer, empower performers,

don’t think anyone who works in the industry says its perfect

fsc, try to make it better, inform legislation that comes through, make it so it doesn’t do more harm

head of IEAU, small group of performers

one of women involved with that, put fort h proposal, people need training when they come into industry

wonderful in some ways ambition, want people to have as much information as possible, be empowered

unfortunately you get to a legislator, they don’t know much about the industry

formalize as a bill, put it through assembly, issue was it amounted to having to have a license

government shouldn’t be able to restrict

speech is different…we have a constitutional amendment

different that opening a hamburger stand/factory

government can’t restrain us from speaking unnecessarily

I think motivation in the right place, often people don’t think through consequences, as a result, license to speak

once you did these things you’d be able to operate as an adult performer, be essentially licensed

fsc, no this is a limit on a specific type of speech, we don’t ask this of reporters, politicians…religion

we had to call that legislator, go in and having meetings, talk about why this is a problem, arguments fall apart

didn’t even mean that, we understand, that’s why we’re hear

something ….can have wide ranging implications, we are a community already heavily stigmatized and criminalized

already ways in which members of adult community are discriminated against, stigmatized socially, want to make sure there aren’t any laws going on the books that can be used against us broadly

if you want to go after something that’s illegal, or actually a crime that’s fine, but don’t put something on the books that can be used broadly, it will be haunt us

adult industry canary in coal mine when it comes to free speech

us confernce of bishops recently called for pornography to be banned, evil, harmful, all these things not supported by science, but by morality

has to be somebody there that says no this is wrong and this is why

here’s where you’re argument fails

if you shut down pornography, what comes next, what qualifies as pornography

those are the discussions that fsc…built to have

TP: in my estimation, upgrade my thinking if necessary, might be naive, been in adult films for quite a while, attempted to get really legit about it in last 5 years, in that journey, opportunity to have internal industry self policing debates, progress, improving conditions on set, solidarity among different actors in the ecosystem, xbiz show, gripe, abused, mistreated, go to get some rally troops, stir up some discussion, better place than that

MS: xbiz, avn shows, couple of others, tradde shows, here in vegas, or europe, a lot of it, the value of those often is, connected with people in industry, also communicate best practices on sets

kink.com done a lot of work, how to better structure sets, performers feel empowered to speak up, structural problems

trade shows often good place for people to have discussions, best practices, performers, issues that affect them

social media, twitter, really revolution, adult performers, sex workers more broadly, seen a number of times in past, somebody has bad experience on set, consent violated, or scene was harder than expected, director didn’t listen, I am upset, community of performers on twitter who will share and retween, gains steam, performers on twitter have access to journalists in a way that they never did before

I think that, twitter works really well for journalists, works really well for adult performers, political groups as well have really thrived

other performers retweet, tag fsc, journalists will pick it up

issues, need multi level response

consent violation on set, wanted to stop, when you talk to law enforcement…doesn’t do anything, you’re a porn star this is want you signed up for, too messy, walk away

find out whats’ going on, what their resources are, don’t often have law enforcement willing to be involved, may be put in touch with crisis center, understand, legal rights, different resources legally, put in touch with performer groups, maybe reaching out to producer and say hey what the hell happened here

we’re a trade organization, advocacy organization, resource for performers and producers, whether somebody had a bad time on set, or somebody who’s bank shut them out

TP: real time court of public opinion

covid era, paradigm, may not have in person conferences to look forward to, relying on these platforms even more key

I know there was a moment not too long ago, scare of twitter wiping out adult related profiles

MS: with big tech, it’s hard to tell what’s going on, are people being shadow banned, profiles don’t come up when you search for them or is something going to happen

a lot of times a tech platform, new terms of service, TOS, sometimes, might say you can’t do anything obscene, sexually explicit, or violent, they can update the TOS put in new restrictions, might not operate on it immediately, might be something where they want the ability to go after you later, might be big crack down, might shut down your account, make you agree before hand

we don’t really know

used to be battle for free speech was fought in the courts, whether or not legal to show this movie at movie theater or sell this magazine

but the public square is internet, controlled by a few major corporation for the most part, facebook , twitter, instagram I guess is facebook, small number of places, reddit

not government by first amendment, governed by tos, no recourse, if twitter takes you off you can’t sue them and say we’re gonna go to the supreme court the way you could if a local judge shut down your movie, you had a recourse for appeal, there’s no appeal with social media, private company they can take you off if they want, appears to be an open public square, but you don’t have that same control

sort of where, we didn’t necessarily see anything happened, don’t have access to their back end,

account got shut down, shadow banned, something like that, we have no idea what’s going on, it’s a big black box,

really guess work, nothing catastrophic happened, this fall,

TP: selective enforcement,

spirit of fsc going back so many decades now, having been iterating through so many different chapters of new tech, are there people on your staff that are really keyed into web 3, blockchain, uncensorable rails of content and transactions, a lot of adult industry early adopters of bitcoin, but also ethereum smart contracts, platforms hoping to be uncensorable, can’t deplatform users, because it’s all peer-to-peer

original ethos of the internet to begin with, bastardarization of peer to peer open source becoming centralized big data

one of your staff, crypto geek?

MS: small staff, just a handful of us, what we depend on are are members, various committees, board of directors, rotates every two years, people come in, nobody specifically on staff that handles crypto, new platforms, what we have is

adult industry is really well positioned, people in industry, tremendously innovated

we’re working on regulatory/legislative

people in industry building platforms, blockchain, crypto

adult industry, really fertile soil, natural consumers, gonna be there no matter what you try, always gonna be somebody who’s turned on by what your fetish is , how you’re structuring your company

something we don’t do specifically, keep aware in larger industry, what’s happening, understand it in terms of a resource

one thing we’re seeing right now, with alternate platforms, rise of premium social, only fans, just for fans, many vids

alternatives for people who are looking to build a following, but aren’t allowed on instagram, or worried twitters gonna get taken away

legislation not gonna help

alternatives

not gonna be as big as twitter, but might be a place, should twitter shut down, natural migration

seeing coming in future, seen it with some of social media already, build a better mouse trap

get something that does what we need it today, if they ever do decide to take off adult content, we have a place to go, contingency plan

TP: lots of life rafts being built, awesome, zooming in now impetus for this call, joined zoom meeting, xbiz town hall, fsc rep, survey in email about task force, have you give a sort of, some info on what the task force is doing, some of the ways the covid crisis is affecting adult

MS: industry has been shut down since march 15th, when governor of CA called for non essential businesses to close, FSC went into crisis mode, not just in terms of how do we deal with this as an industry, how do we take care of performers and crew members now not going to be able to work

we are a vulnerable population, a lot of us maybe not connected to families, come from communities we might be exiled from, it takes a certain person to work in this industry, given the discrimination want to make sure, we need to help people get by

industry shut down, production shut down, want to observe, but have to pay rent, have to do underground shoot, or do something unsafe

fundraising mode, raised $150k for performers, crew members struggling under covid, started distributing

turns out , about half performers in industry, doing alright, through crisis, because of premiums, clips, cams, rise in traffic, porn has seen dramatic rise because of shut down, people being locked at home, revenues are up, performers the only ones that can really produces, studios/sets shuttered,

if home alone can make solo content, partnered with someone willing to be on camera, can shoot sex scenes

studios reaching out to couples in quarantine, can you shoot something, we’re running out of content

in some cases performers making more money than they have

not everybody in that position, if if you have a following, already set up,

crew is in worse position, no mainstream jobs, no adult jobs

challenging time for a lot of people

one thing to be stuck at home another thing to lose your income

long term effects of covid crisis, maybe performers are in more control than ever

massive growth in performer produced content

able to make decent or exceptional living performing own content, gives you more choice when studios open up as to what shoots you’re gonna take

if youd on’t have financial incentive to go on sets because you have own income…recurring billing, content make at home, no reason to go on set, unless you want to go on specific set unless fantasy of yours or something that will give a lot of attention

covid reorganize industry in that way

interesting in that regard

regard to sets, discussions we have on task force, geared toward how do we open up and how do we open up safely

industry in some ways is well positioned for this type of discussion we test already every 14 days, protocol for production shut downs, hiv, stis already have these discussions, already talk about going on set, making sure partners are tested, workable precautions

prevent transmission, body fluids, already sanitize sets, use gloves, some cases masks, crew member don’t want to get hit with fluids

ahead of game, most other industries

new challenge, with stis, decent assurance you’re gonna be safe on set, you’re tested, partner tested, everybody tested,

with covid, performer population may be tested, person at grocery store may not be, beach may not be

unlike hiv, fairly long time between contract and transmit, about 14 days, why our testing set up the way it is, with covid, potentially infectious 2 days after contract,

task force, in light of covid, what precautions, what guidelines, how they should shoot, how often they should test, that sort of thing, it has been a bit of a challenge

TP: I hear that, kudos for doing all that hard work, recently listening to podcast, mainstream scientific analysis, look to porn industry they’ve been doing this for a quite a while, at least for stis

Dr. Eric Ding, harvard epidemiologist, health economist, medical digest of news through his twitter feed,

don’t know chance of covid to be transmitted sexually, the male testicles, didn’t know, fun fact, immune from immune system, privileged, cytocine storm, immune system over reacts, can’t get into that part of male anatomy,

imagine the way zoom is blowing up, pass system open sourced so everybody is using it to go to grocery store

crew members into pass, not for stis, similar testing system around it, not just about scene partner,

as intimate as your relationship is going to be with your scene partner, right now no evidence it can be transmitted sexually, might appear in semen, not clear if would be transmitted sexually

for adult industry, what we’re facing, not different from hollywood love scene, same level of transmission

we’ve done a lot to tell other industries, we’ve got something, not sure how it’s gonna apply to covid, can tell you how the protocols are

sports team, grocery store,

haven’t had hiv transmission on pass regulated set since 2004, shoot 100s of thousands of scenes since then

something we know how to do, we can help you with it

TP: hopefully outcome, porn saves the day, people rejoice, have to pay respects

what would be the pitch for my listeners, diverse array, pay dues to support, become member, make donations, best way and why

gonna be a huge economic pressure for people who never considered camming, making content, by financial pressure, flooding into platforms to make new revenue stream

info for newbies?

MS: why you should support industry, we’re the canary in the coal mine, censors come after us before anybody else, regulations, whether adult content producer or not, they’re gonna come after you

go to website, set up small recurring donation, get clued in, newsletter, things like survey, understand going on, performer, producer, fan,

sustain organization, protect your rights

keep you informed as to issues that we face

go to free speech coalition, donation

new, inspire program, created by performers to performers, whether you should have an agent, how the testing system works,

webinar with people success in camming, clips, in premiums, brought 6 together, held webinar, all talk about how they got to where they were,

pros to ams, how do I get started, how often should I update, what’s biggest mistake, hour or so master class, how to get started, what to be weary of

tremendous time to be performer, you have more control than ever, so many platforms to do it, own your content, never used to be able to do

go to website become a member, get an alert when it does go up

follow on twitter, fsc army

dm us, tweet at us

very active on social media

TP: if major influx of people losing jobs, realize they can ethically and legally trade their labor and artisanship in adult industry for a livelihood, critical mass, decrim all sex work

fsc probably near front lines

can of works to open, final prayer final thought

close us out

MS: we are on the front lines of decriminalization, certainly support for sex workers across the board, partnered with various organizations

tremendously creative, really enjoy being a part of it, does feel like family

the more people we get in it the more the stigma decreases, thanks so much for having me

thanks for being a member

TP: thanks so much!

Vanessa Soulxo Collage

Greening Revolution and Rainbowing Spiritual Love with Vanessa Soulxo TPP286

Play

In this episode I’m joined again by Vanessa Soulxo for a soulful exploration of the deep cultural trauma that’s being purged and healed in the world

To join her Soul Church, it’s Sundays online at zoom at 1pm PST and here is the link:

http://us04web.zoom.us/j/6080174537?pwd=NzVDNDRhVU00ZFAxWUU4cVkyWlJydz09

Meeting id: 6080174537

Meeting password: unity

The suggested donation for the sustainability of “Soul Church,” is $20 at paypal: vanessasoulxo@gmail.com or cashapp: $VanessaSoulXo

About Vanessa:

Vanessa LeMaistre’s path has been unconventional. Broken from years of childhood sexual assault, not having a father to protect her and an ultimate lack of self-worth, she woke up at the age of 25 as a lost soul, having dated a mix of men, including prominent celebrities who didn’t respect her worth. Deciding to wake up and step into her path, Vanessa began to practice yoga and spiritually enlighten herself through a series of texts, before suffering a tragic loss of her son, Kamden at 9 months. Throughout her journey, Vanessa, a shaman, provides spiritual insight from her own diverse experiences and channels her late son to do so. If you’re looking for an unconventional take on wisdom to transform your life, please attend her Soul Church or contact her via gmail: vanessasoulxo@gmail.com to receive her services.

Please visit her website at:
vanessasoulxo.com/

My Non Verbatim Show Notes

TP: feeling blessed, compounding angel interest

your strategy, adapt church to online, inclusive non-hierarchal church space, colead, cofacilitate, forced to adapt to cyber space model, for a little while, got some ideas how to start building up fellowship, when things mellow out, have strong fellowship

VS:

happening a lot smoother than I thought, just graduated, logical thing get a job, use degree, not my path,

smoothly happening, took the call, go with alignment, what’s in alignment with my path, spread energy 9-5, spread soul thin, not my path, leap of faith, people can help build it up, I can’t do it by myself, if I should up if there’s one or two people, goal is to listen to the call, multiples of people can come, join in community, really about community, build bridges how to communicate,

unity in community, you see communities where there is no unity

friend, adopted, jewish, all about community, be honest with each other, solve a lot of problems, honest with ourselves, be there for each other, cultivate during a time like right now,

sense of urgency, set up communities

encourage, more individuals build community, stronger collective

switch things, hierarchal, old paradigm, going from capitalist mindset, to age of aquarius, excited for newer generation, more queer thinking,

swtiching out of putting everything in box

more multi-raced, how to do you put somebody in a box

community, accepting people, taking away biases, what can we learn from each other

allow to be vulnerable, egalitarian based

online, challenge, we’re not in a physical space, virtual container

curious how it’s gonna end up, could be really impactful

counsels, all my classes were counsels, professor wasn’t talking at us, we were running the show

never know what’s gonna pop off, speak honestly, speak from there heart, stand in power be fierce, use voice

hold power for someone else

white guy, going through what’s happening, what’s your suggestion for white privileged male

giving back to black communities, telling him, bluntly its time to give your power away

makes you more powerful, when you’re able to empower others

blacks in our country,have not been given opportunity to really shine, haven’t been given platforms, opportunity to be heard, most don’t get a chance to talk in groups, marginalized

more privileged people hold the power

excited, we can come together on line, really be real, cut the bullshit,

get questions, oh this is a church, what’s the doctrine, what’s your faith creed

I’m listening to sources call, asking how do you want me to bring people to you, root of this, really the goal, bringing them to the light, to connect to source within themselves

takes away black and white, male female gay straight,

how can you dress sexy and be taken seriously as a woman,

how can you not be both

break things down, we are switching from an older paradigm, no longer putting things in boxes

churches, judicial, educational

personal healing if we’re not doing something different, not changing, things are gonna be the same

different approach to church, no body wants to be churched at

TP: a lot of positive triggering and stimulating triggering as I’m listening to what you’re saying, all due respect,

for me to own my privilege, and disclose my bias as underclass white male who is straight passing, able passing, most part euro american mut, I don’t have any facial tatoos, put on suit and tie, hair cut, I could make my resume to the nonprofit sector, also corporate, if I had any minority cards to play, it would be that I’m not heteronormative, survivor, come from lower class, ptsd, a lot of invisible wounding that can be debilitating, impact ability to be type-a ceo, conquer of the world, the potential privilege appears on the surface, a lot more going on there

get it if I’m in the black and white

I’m okay with starting there, that’s what I’m passing as, if you want to get to know me, be curious, don’t have white fragility problem, I can take criticism, and blacklash

we may not have discussed before, good time to talk about all these things

instead of becoming a yuppie, I dropped out of the system and going movements mostly of people of color, all fighting for the underclass

solidarity with people no matter what race

people of color I’ve been in revolutionary organizations and projects with, covert operations as whitey

ways to use that power, give it back, be strategic about it

a few things come to mind based on what you’re saying, empowerment, new paradigm

outline a few things

one topic Ron Finley, guerilla gardening movement, almost 10 years ago, gangster gardener movement, bring people into understand that south central los angeles, food desert could be food forest

took over parkway, made strip of grass and weeds between curb and sidewalk, made into lush beautiful edible garden, community, educational, bounty

world class fashion designer, city came to fine him, tear it out, under estimated his sophisticated, marketer, green thumb, ted talk, more drive thrus than drive bys, killing people, kids who grow kale eat kale, plant some shit

leadership for minority community, highest co-morbidity, people of color, diabetes, obesity, health of community, empowerment

#blackcommunitygardensmatter

next level thing, I bow down to him got to hang out, talk shop, mulch

still rocking it, tearing up the headlines

you’ve mentioned permaculture as well in your works

that’s a topic

I want to go into your thoughts on the health crises, food choice, under class, people of color, gardening opportunities, ecological,

conspiracy of big companies, junk food

if we have time walk through some of ways that people of color who’ve been colonized by christianity, raped by gospel of christianity, reclaim sacred space of devotional activities, worship, navigate fact, people who are gonna not want to let go of that, on people like you to bring in medciine, plant medicine, new revelations, new chapters /gospels to the bible

me, nerdy white man intellectual, try to get down with the people and plant some shit

greening, movement, uprising right now

whatever direction hopefully influenced by people like you, lyrics of hip hop, consciousness, spirituality

VS: keep wanting to record reggae, positive conscious

for greening and next leveling of the movement, so much in that with permaculture, food justice, human rights, food justice, education, all those poor neighborhoods, filled with junk food, liquor stores, health food, don’t have it

set up unfitting way for blacks,

public schools, low funding, not taught how to do permaculture, ties in perfectly what you mentioned, people of color being raped by colonizers

psychologically, taking away opportunity for them to be educated,

paradoxical, most people of color ancestors operated on indigenous ways, permaculture to some degree, grow and plant own food

grandmother helped raised me, know which plants to take, go on walks, plants for certain teas, for ailments

taking away, stolen, brainwashed, psychologically, don’t have access to that education

cuba, sustainable, economy crashed, poorer countries really great models

teach kindergarten, how to plant

waldorf school, silicon tech heads send children to outdoor schools, eating mint leaves, fascinating, kids learn from early age how to have such a good food source for their health

benefit in so many ways

ancestors knew that

grandmothers 91, no health problems, ate naturally sourced foods in back yard

marginalized people, have been ripped from opportunity to be educated, should be on front lines of best education possible, compensate for robbery

spirituality, practicianers work with plants, medicine, witches, shamans, balancing the earth, not doing hexes

living harmonious ways, more intuned more health, mindful, what we’re intaking where’s it coming from

I think that’s really fascinating

overall global crises, eating cleaner, less pollution, climate, better systems set up in a way, poor neighborhoods, low access to health

people of color I know, southern comfort food, most people in family diabetes high cholesterol, fried chicken everyday, not educated

more people to educate others

TP: definitely taking about reggae, what means are there, we both agree, I’m humbly, deeply informed and moved by your experience, better than mine, horrible influences, horrible diet, health problems remedy through gardening

what the problem is, who needs the reparations

reggae, people say definitely homophobia in rastafarianism, what are edges of queerness within religion

reggae gone far being, roots of reggae coopted into more mainstream forms

positivity, vibration, influences, indigenous, african, also stuff from western theology

lyrics from Bob Marley’s,

every time I plant a seed, he said kill it before it grow

reggae, I think there’s revolutionizing of reggae that has to happen for it to be medicine for the people, the vibration of guns, violence, misogyny, rape culture, toxic masculinity

looking for people who are gonna take the ron finley lyrics, put beats behind them

Paris, revolutionary hip hop, personality, artist, paris, the coup, dead prez, a lot of reggae,

ice-t, chuck d, rebellious, got out to lower class white suburbs

so profoundly influenced, tried to get hair cut like favorite basket ball player

couldn’t be more of a fan of the culture of what was spoon fed to be

by the corporate pimps,

hegemonized bling culture

nino brown, new jack city, whole thing of trying to be the white corporate business man ceo, take over, how cool that is, a lot of spike lee stuff, shed some light on what’s in the mind of a would be conscious white man, wants to care, want to give back, find good in bad

make sense of things

a lot of putting on table for you to put me in my place, take me down a notch, riff, rhyme, other well meaning white people, I was raising my fist, so down for the cause, show me where I can join forces and not be an annoyance

VS: feeling you,

the fact that world has been operating to cater to your breed as top of totem pole,

you love black culture, raising fist, think our society stills breaths it, swims in it, billboards,

something revolutionary, collectively on global level has to shift from top tiers, people can see things differently

colorism, we have different levels to this

field….or in the house

confronted in circles all the time, black me say I’m the only black woman they would ever date, you’re good cuz your light enough, or too dark

brain washing of colorism, so fucked up

there’s black people who’ll take the side of white man, hate themselves so much

world didn’t favor to them, classism within racism, thinking to themselves, talk white, look a certain way, may not know how, may not want to sign up to do

job interview, get on phone speak more “white” or more proper

theory programmed into brains, white is right

mexican woman, family came from mexico, had to assimilate into america, hispanics, white passing,

dismantling, becoming really aware, seeing with clear eyes, this is what’s been happening, more people privileged, can claim their human right

like whatever you like, culture, food

makes world beautiful

a lot to be talked about

white women favored more tan darkest women in the room

so many beautiful beautiful black woman

love all people, exotic

men not all thugs, many educated

such a shame that we are underneath this mind control

so brainwashed

we’re just people, just human being, friend trans, I’m not gay, not trans, not drag queen, I’m a human being, make more sense, more in touch with reality

attachments, pain and trauma

we could learn a much more rapid rate,

learn when I travel, how people living their lives in their culture

we put up such barriers

you’re different you like that

I’m better society tells me there’s this superiority

black privileges, educated,

dismantling, I’m not better than any body

just human beings

memes right now, world in uproar

great, most action I’ve seen, people showing some form of pushback, end of day

how often are we checking with ourselves, not better than so and so, all equal, not about me

actualizing the fact we’re all equal all human

how reclaim sacred space, gathering fellowship worshiping, christianity

TP: either admit Jesus was black or stop talking about Jesus

VS: wouldn’t that solve everything,

why are you all so judgemental, least open minded people, I’m gonna have the most problems with christians

TP: researching cults, blind spots, you don’t know what to watch out for

permaculture, balance with weeds, medicinal, edible, listen, pay attention, not poison them, ecologically literate, patterns lead to corruption with power, how do you prevent becoming a cult of personality

saying, those who don’t die a hero, live long enough to become a villain, really scary, studying that stuff, I want to have fans not followers, because of my art

charles manson, david koresh, documentary on cults, reason manson set cult devotees to kill famous people, basically jealousy over his failed music career

its so interesting, I’m only feeling the hilarity of this, pitfalls and traps of nacissism, permaculture, too much capital, pollution in nature, power money wealth influence, redistribute reinvesting, you think I’m so good at something tell me about what you’re so good at, you’re as important as I am, I’ll scrub toilets, rotate positions of power

what if everybody in a church ceremony was given equal time

indigenous way, every body including a grandmother read medicine plants in the landscape

work to be done around figuring out how to honor everybody’s contributions

dating game, racial politics of sexual, economics and politics around body types, ethnicity, film, based on true story, talk radio, based on guy, Eric Bogosian, jewish shock jock radio host, killed by right wing racist, can’t remember all the details scenes of him being in radio booth

taking calls, offending people, offensive to bigots, pissing people off, death threats, hate mail

line from movie, wants to expose people subconscious actual worship of exotic people, you know how much money white people spend on tanning booths, tan lotion, white people feel sexually inferior

I have been upstaged, from deep voice, size of the junk, to swagger, strut, soul,

Jerry McGuire, white man can’t love

do you see that that’s people loving each other

tight lipped having tiny lips,

white guy I can say this shit, I can make fun of my kind

I’ll say there’s an inferiority complex around having small lips, high pitch whiny voices, flat butts, flat chests, skin that gets burnt in the sun, you can see the veins through it, reason I have to be jealous of sexual prowess of people of color and african people

things going on genetically, so honorable, worshipable, reconcile, how do we not leave people out

I don’t want to over…

people in my life who’d say you’re an evil bastard, part of the patriarchy because you do enjoy exotic partners, you’re fetishing the other,

actually that’s natural biodiversity, jungle fever, go out of tribe, all of the world, person form another region, boom boom time to diversify gene people, love sees no color, no separate races, fighting losing battle, urge is to you know, white settlers ran off into native villagers, token white refugees

so much native american /african american blood mixing

if we were more poly and open we would find ways to appreciate and honor and enjoy the diversity,

even the whole breast thing, beyond race, very honest answer, matt dillon, singles, white romanic comedy, small breast groupie girlfriend, seattle grunge rocker, hour glass syndrome, rocker feels entitled , shuns gf, comes full circle

she says to him, are my breasts to small for you, he says sometimes, very honest

subplot, scheduling self to get boob job, doctor: is this mr right or mr maybe

more honest sometimes im in the mood for this, diverse experience, go out for this restaurant, diversity of romantic, sexual experience

I don’t have enough of something for somebody for every, diverse array of people, everyone’s covered

valuing everybody at different way different times

taboo

VS: so many powerful things, commend you for being open so raw, something humans don’t honestly say on any context, oh I’m so jealous, takes away with what’s there

taking to my french gf last night, never thought about it like this, I think racism is all this small dick complex, screen shots poster, someone protesting said that

something about being open, it could be open, I’m jealous that this girl has whatever xyz, growth in putting in on table

accept differences

commend you for being honest, saying that

I don’t know what its like to be a white man, you have swag in your own way

so beautiful, being confident saying what you’re saying

so much, powerful, impactful

thank for allowing me to go off

I don’t think I’ve felt comfortable with any body else

this is the time to do opposite of being more divided

love to see queer orgy make outs in the streets

arrest me with love

racist, bludgeon with police night stick, do anything but be on knees worshipping

shadow of jealousy, napolean dick complex

VS: conversations like this, getting there, take away the fog, not hate black women, dark skin women so much

treated different, we’re not ignorant, people born smart in their own way

bold enough confront self with honest,

how can I love myself more

TP: if you love self, want to see best and most beautiful in everyone else

take care of yourself, already beautiful, already god/goddess divine, just take care of yourself

ensemble cast of lovers

winners and losers, either get the girl, princess or oppressed slave

I would love to a woman to say to me, I like you, but I love this and that, what if I bring a wing man, can we get it all on together, I’ll be your booking agent

everybody plays different roles

some people I’m mr friday, some people I’m mr tuesday, as long as I’m not mr never to anybody, is be fine, goes both ways

can’t we all just get along

that’s my trip, sorry, adults only in my church

good times

VS: that’s great

back to horrific, world of pain and suffering and agony and disaster, we’re having almost too much fun, to pray and feel into the real terror that people are experiencing now, grief, morning, poverty despair, lack of abundance,

we lathered up some good energy, how can we give it back

people suffering, better vibes

VS: really tough right now, a lot of heavy stuff, I’m excited for the church, excited to see how conversation gets led, we’re strong, it’s in our blood, we’ve had to survive times like this before, ancestors did, do have hope, keep chugging along, very proud as black person to witness black people handle this so beautifully

not talking about looters, distressed

tiny percentage, news casters portraying it was a big percentage, what I’m witnessing, majority of black people, very commendable, strength, don’t see war, yes there’s anger,

beautiful how blacks are giving their white allies the opportunity to step in and show up how they need to show up

whether getting on knees or holding a door

blacks welcoming this healing process, already in it

feels like a healing

different access, food , education, resilience in black community from ancestors, chugging along so beautifully, be seen, heard, stand in power, have it not be taken away or stomped on or ignored, brink of brand new horizon, brand new awakening

chance to rise

empowered community

finally getting opportunity to hopefully rise

this is very hopeful time

Lucia Gabriela.

Walking the Path of Fire with Tantrika and Intimacy Coach Lucia Gabriela TPP285

Play

In this episode I’m joined by Lucia Gabriela for a deep exploration of her personal tantric transformation and healing by walking a path of fire

About Lucia:

Lucia Gabriela helps individuals and couples to master their life, relationships and intimacy with themselves and others.

Her passion is to create a safe and sacred space for women and men to deeply explore many aspects of themselves, purge emotional and/or sexual traumas that are holding them back from manifesting what they desire, heal their inner child, embrace their shadows, connect with their higher self, reconnect with their own body’s wisdom, align with their true essence, live their higher potential, and master their sexual life in all realms. They can then create their life with awareness, maturity, self responsibility, radical self-love, and full commitment to explore their sexual and spiritual evolution.

Lucia Gabriela specializes and works with individuals whose journey is to free themselves from emotional and sexual traumas, and helps them to reclaim their creative power, body, voice, sensuality and sexuality plus to welcome pleasure into their lives, creations and relationships.

Media Links

Site: http://luciagabriela.com

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/luciagabrielacoach

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LuciaGabrielaCoach

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nunaholisticretreatcenter

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luciagabrielacoach

Twitter: https://twitter.com/LuciaGabrielaHC

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/luciagabrielahc

My Non Verbatim Show Notes:

LG:

relationship and intimacy coach

help individuals struggling in relationship

go through different toxic relationships, marry multiple times, don’t know why they keep attracting same toxicity in life, help to break free from toxic patterns, behaviors, mindsets, energies

create relationship truly desire

deep level of intimacy, not carrying baggage in relationship

tantra facilitator

explore energy, consciousness, awareness, true self, deeper level

destroying what’s not serving us

path of fire, journey of fire

tantric principles, beautiful journey

reclaim power, voice, who they are here right now,

embrace, learn to love self at deeper level

work I do, I will say really excited, integrative somatic therapist

working with the mind, mindset, body, emotions, energy heart soul

multi dimensional part of self

release traumas, stories that are stuck in our body

blocking our energies

creative self, kundalini system, sometimes block root chakra, sacral, naval, power is,

power also in heart, power to be in body of humanity, grounded rooted, moving forward, safe secure, so many blockages we have in those areas

somatic work, releasing energy blocking you

releasing emotions blocking you

so passionate about work I do, why I help individuals and couples

younger age myself, able to explore different realms of shamanism, energy, grew up in ecuador, home country

exposed to different aspects of life, of healing

same time, integrative holistic homeopathic home, that was my medicine, doctors holistic

fascinating, developed cancer at age of 15, family in shock, how did this happen

I knew reason, as a child, age of 5, didn’t fit in on this planet, called myself alien, not from this planet, couldn’t understand why people were so violent, abuse

family was holistic, spiritual, catholic, good food, natural food,

aspect of irony, very emotionally abusive environment

everything looking good, even sexuality, very open, about sexuality, nudity, about men walking naked in house

very interesting, great elements placed in my life, emotional part, missing out

became suicidal for 10 years, used to pray for the bad for me, pray for I don’t want to live, I want god to take me away

look at stars, when are you guys coming to pick me up, I can’t be on this planet any longer, in this body

feeling pain and suffering from other people

cancer, knew it was because I was asking that for myself

when it happened, discovered through appendix, pain in appendix in middle of night

heard voice, you asked to die, this is a taste of it, in shock

I asked this my whole life, now facing death, unknown pain, healthy girl, sports, competitive sports, eating healthy, doctor says I’m good

so good, camo emotional pain

facing death

this cannot be, I have my mom, my sister to take care of, at that age, I became the protector of my mom and sister from dad abuse

tough girl, stand up to dad, put him in place

shocking to be like, what’s gonna happen to my family if I leave this planet

wake up call, where is this going

I have to live, I have a purpose to live now

through that journey, went into deeper levels of spiritualism

shamanic realm,

candles, energy, homeopathic, still wasn’t integrated, still wasn’t there for me at my core

journey for 2 years, exploring and learning gnosis

science of knowledge, through journey, explore tantra, kama sutra, buddhism, hinduism, languages, golden languages, meditation, breath work, kundalini

beautiful healing process

didn’t go through kemo, radiation, any protocols, blessed at age of 15, recommended surgery, wanted to remove organs, live rest of life with feeding tube, probably wouldn’t be a live,

no I’m not doing that

path of holistic medicine

gonna heal it

I know why I did it, I know what’s going on, I’m gonna heal it

doctor looked at me like somebody possessed me

knew at that moment, my emotions that need to change, change perspective of life

must come to agreement with my body, be in harmony with myself

live in integrity with feeling

be able to be myself and love myself

love nature

love why I’m here

have a purpose in life

purpose to be on this planet

not waiting for alien friend to come pick me up

I’m hear on earth for a purpose, here to create something amazing, I’m gonna get there

that was the first awakening, catalyst during my life

we can study everything

all these books, watch all these videos, all these podcasts, and everything, information is great, but is not all of it

always excited to share with people, its important for us to take what we’re learning

look for message

integrate in life

integrative

takes time for us to really truly integrate what we have learned, experienced, discovered about ourselves

owners of our life

own knowledge we’ve been exposed to

what happened is that I moved to the us

knowledge of relationships

intimacy

met ex-husband

another wake up call

discovered self to go into insecure self, being loved

wanted to be chose, seen, got infatuated

seeing this person as my prince on white horse, rescue me of something

new in country didn’t speak english that well, husband was prince

used my own knowledge about energy

magic rituals, law of attraction, candles, crystals, influence energy, do moon rituals to make this person want me and chose me and love me, send gifts, messages

ended up with this person, had child, being married

7 years together, one of most toxic relationships of my life,

younger said I would never marry someone like my father

learning about boundaries, awareness, psyche, attracted so one who was very nice on the surface, deeper level anger issues, shadows

we all have shadows

integrate shadows to be able to heal

very toxic abusive relationship, after separation, process of divorce, domestic violence, custody

I was so infatuated, own power of influence, rituals, white magic, bring somebody in my life, happened to be I was actually doing dark magic against myself

karma got back to me really bad

not just toxicity we create being our selves, toxicity we allow other people to vomit on us when they have own issues own struggles

been working past 35 years of my life, turn 40 this year, awareness of emotions energy,

how we relating, what we’re creating, taking full responsibility for everything

embracing victim

get out of victimhood, step into empowered self

to be integrity, responsible, accountable

now in beautiful relationship, partnership

very blessed to have partner that is aware and conscious

past 5 years, explore things about myself, shadows, holding space

a person who has learned with me, together, hold space for our struggles

our shadows, darkness, weakness, strength

be there for each other, hold each other accountable, if we fuck it up

coming from place of love, seeing other person as amazing incredible being that they are

everything I create is based on what I have gone through in my own life

do share and teach and coach from what I have learned in my own life, 90% of my work, the remain from amazing mentors in my life

that’s my story

I am in this beautiful space, even though covid-19, beautiful space, grateful I have the tools to hold space for my emotions and feelings and allow myself to get upset, frustrated, tools for going from one energetic field to the next one, not suppress anything in my body

one of biggest issues, society, suppress everything, numb ourselves, alcohol, drugs

may not be prepared to face what must be faced

that is who I am,

here to answer any questions that you may have, conversation can be juicy

TP: archetypal, what humanity’s been going through

where do you feel the word patriarchy, critique of toxic masculine, be interested to hear about,

sophisticated analysis of the paradox of all these blessings, cursings, slight imbalance can take hold, skew path

antedote is in poison, wounded healer, personal insight, move people with your story, help them move beyond

meta narrative, story of how this world became as toxic as it is, environment, businesses, government, businesses collude, macro force, part of your story?

Tantric story of goddess, shiva shakti, demons in tantra, goddesses have to fight them with their powers, very symbolic of this imbalance of those energies

thoughts, how did we get here to this point of hell on earth

LG: I would say, we are actually living, hell is the most amazing place to purge what is not actually us, hell as the place where we can really learn so much about our self, blessing in there, really learn to know, what are we really made of, what are not made of

when it comes to working with masculine, feminine, patriarchy, matriarchy,

earth level, aspect of separation and division, polarized so many things, separation, division, see somebody that does not look like us, a lot of conditioning, programming happening, masculine, feminine, woman man, patriarchy, matriarchy, put ourselves in boxes, can’t really see the greater picture

I address aspect, not much of masculine feminine, see it from a more cosmic universal perspective, permission to feel energy, feel space, feels and vibration as they are without giving them any definition, naming, title

I have run close to 300 live events, at the beginning of running tantric events, working with masculine/feminine, many books, backgrounds tell us masculine is this way, feminine is this way

females crazy, chaotic, masculine more grounded

when we go from that perspective, we’re really conditioning everyone to act in a certain way, put people in boxes, even spirit in box, spirit can not be contained in a box

experiment, guide amazing people at events, festival, clearing statements, destroying all beliefs, everything we have learned, read, knowledge about masculine feminine, female male,

clear the energetic field in our space, to feel without description

very fascinating, okay invite you tap into your masculine, switch to feminine

honoring both aspects of self

feedback from people

when they got into the essence of space of just feeling the energy of masculine, totally opposite of what the book said, had this energy, that would be recognized as feminine, many times concept of feminine, feeling this energy supposed to be energies of masculine

the more we did this, did with myself, feeling in own body, recognizing masculine/feminine within myself

energies would flow, same and equal

on thing I got one of my meditation practices, degree of difference, related to the mind,

mind was the one that created the degree of difference, put in boxes

fascinating to explore that for years

honor concept of masculine and feminine, great beginning to start, but it’s not all this, so much more than that

invite individuals to come to source

come out of that separation of divinity as god/goddess, come higher than that

helping individuals to start recognizing energies

recognize energies

one of greatest things I experienced in life

less judgement, less tension, less disagreement, more acceptance, more compassion

talking about energy

not saying you’re the man, you’re supposed to this, do that

because I’m not seeing my partner of a title, box, see my partner as a free being

master of his energetic field

partner be able to hold space, container, instead of saying be more of man, more of masculine, I would say I need support, hold a container

I hold huge containers, working with trauma, must hold strong container

talk about aspect of energy, alignment with energies vs. what they’re supposed to do because of title

broader way of relating to somebody, do still address the aspect of conditioning about man and woman

thousands of years, patriarchy

we see dynamic, pretty much all about conflict of power,

programmed for thousands of years

getting out of programming

difference in gender, controlled in specific way, coming to this era of recognizing who we are more as a being, than gender

being itself

cosmic universal energies

no gender feelings. No polarization

energetic realms, really important for us to understand, yes we run into all these energies, universal energies, up to us which muscle we build

understand the psychological consequences of programming, who’s in power, who’s in control, who’s gonna dominate what

I would say more domineering, times

who feels that is lacking power, decides to control a population of society, vs their own struggles

I’m struggling and I don’t know my own power, I’m gonna be so domineering and toxic, control the one that’s weaker

the one that are strong I’m gonna make them weaker

fulfill own need of feeling important, significant, because I’m so disconnected from myself

what we’re seeing in society, a blessing in disguise

opportunity to see how much are we really disconnected from ourselves

TP: transcend gender binary, makes people defensive, partnership societies, now dominator societies, thousands of years, before there was more of a balance

first peoples, paleolithic peoples, hunter gatherers, different ways to look out how societies have evolved

when I discovered tantra, it worked for me compared to spiritual paths about austerity

tantra about passion, pleasure, full body experience

anthropology, return to balance of power

notion, idea that the simplist way I could explain tantra, dualistic dancing energies, can also be warring energies, within ourselves, inner marriage, inner alchemy, shiva, shakti, practice of tantra, kundalini rising, create triangle

two poles, meet at the apex of top of center of triangle, transcending the gender binary, merging into oneness with the god head/goddess

diagonal path, meet in the middle, be united, empowering narrative for transcending gender binaries, and so called war of the sexes

love that you’ve said the path of fire, first time of heard, beautiful way to do that inner work

do that shadow work

from your perspective what kind of paths of tantra have you explored, do you feel the promise is we can transcend duality

LG: fire is one of my favorite elements, my partner sometimes argue with me, really want to , there’s other path for alchemy

tantra, alchemical path, radical transformation of individual self, explore amazing awakening of sensuality, sexuality, pleasure, comes because we have to earn it, aspect of alchemy, we must earn it, element of fire

when you can look at the elements, water, destroy, wind destroy, hurricane, tornado, leave debris, chaos behind, earthquake using earth, leave chaos behind, fire, ashes left behind,

if you decide to destroy something that is not serving, the fire will destroy it

even biblical times, bible, the humans ourselves, created from ashes, go back to ashes, created from the dust, go back to dust, created from powder, go back to it

beautiful cycle, transform, must destroy, purity fire can offer to us

path of tantra, path of fire and alchemy and transformation, evolution, what we must destroy is everything we know, think we are, everything we are

allow ourselves to be reborn, into another aspect of ourself

TP: so honest, a lot of people in new age, want to sell some path, its usually they’re not forth right about the challenge of it, conflict, struggle, unpleasantness,

with tantra I appreciate the authenticity of it

marketing for people to want to clean up what they’ve been shoving under carpet to have incentive

combust toxic material, have greater love, warmth, the idea of composting, from gardening, turning your mind weeds into fertile soil for what you want to have their

emotions, thought forms

people running each other ragged in toxic relationships, that’s a lot of energy, could be used for magic, creativity, design, optimizing that

not all bliss bunnies

my friend said it best once, yeah people just want the “yums”

you won’t appreciate them unless you have the yucks too

LG: invite people to recognize, path of tantra, path of destruction, must embrace a destroyer, kali, a destroyer, for us to be able to plant a seed we must nurture the soil, but we have to destroy what was behind that, if you have weed on that soil, other things that doesn’t work, rock, you have to prepare it, that’s called destruction, destroy what was there to be able to prepare for what is coming,

we have to embrace the dark part of ourselves as destroyers, the shadow part of ourselves, really come to aspect of integration, tantra, shiva shakti, aspect of fusion, coming to oneness, cosmic universal unity that is so authentic, so connected with everything

beyond the matrix, beyond the cosmic, feel the heart beat of another planet, of orion, of another cosmos

connected to that realm, integration, fusion

same aspect must happen with dark and light

learning to love ourselves and our darkness, our shadow, learning to appreciate power of shadow, power of light

not about being a pleasure seeker, tantra about being an alchemical seeker

being of integrative evolution

not just about g-spot, orgasm, teach sex magic, yeah we can do that

but I have an awareness, I can teach you have to have great sex, kama sutra, how to touch the body, how to, techniques

TP: great introduction, riveted, a lot more to explore in future episodes,anything you want to share,

LG: luciagabriela.com, webinars, love after toxic relationship, online classes around how to create boundaries, manage and go from triggered to bliss, how to go from that experience to feeling more blissful, creating sensual alchemist training program

learning to embody sensuality, different aspect of archetype, also with shadows, powerful deep journey, decide to go deeper, go to core of what holding you back, stopping you from being who you are, intake form fill out, discovery call, complementary, see how I can help you, invitation is there

TP: blessed way to start my day, glad we’ve been about to connect, moving forward through time of crisis, take this time to start to do that work, reach out to folks doing this great work

 

Joel Brierre yoga

The Taboo Bending Path of an Entheogenic Yogi with Joël Brierre TPP282

Play

In this episode I’m joined by my new entheogenic yogi brother for an exploration of his radical personal journey of transformation, and his taboo bending offerings spanning diverse wisdom traditions both ancient and modern

About Joël

Joël Brierre is a Yogi, teacher, psychedelic integration specialist, and IMHU trained spiritual emergence coach. He began his relationship with psychedelics as a teenager in an exploratory manner. Marveling at the chance to explore the unexplored, Joël began training with Curanderos in Peru in 2001 where he further pursued these heightened states of awareness. Eventually shifting his focus into a deep and devoted yoga practice, he began teaching yoga and meditation and soon moved on to India to study in an ashram setting in Rishikesh. From there he traveled all around the world, soaking up knowledge and sharing what he’d learned. He was reintroduced to plant medicine in 2009 while living in the Caribbean, and began to incorporate this into his yoga practice. From there he went on to study with various guides and facilitators of differing lineages and practices With this combination of knowledge, Joël now leads retreats and workshops around the world on the plant medicine and yoga connection. With over 10 years of teaching and multiple teacher trainings, Joël is certified at 500 ERYT. Joël mainly works with the compound 5-MeO-DMT in it’s pure form as well as in the venom of the Bufo Alvarius toad. This compound is said to be the most powerful entheogen on the planet, allowing participants to experience a non-dual state of awareness in which they cease to view reality as an individual and are completely absorbed into the infinite. Joël believes the toad medicine’s effect of a non-dual experience is congruent with the Samadhi states that can be attained through yoga. He assists individuals through pre and post integration using a program he derived from the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali.

Please visit his website at:
https://www.itsallsource.com/

 

My Non Verbatim Show Notes

JB: originally from washington dc, growing up, crack epidemic, crazy

turbulent time

awesome parents, parents, new age practices, yogic practices, experimenting in modalities

spiritual lifestyle

knucklehead, learn lessons head on, take longer to learn up

after quite a few life lessons, stints in jail,

2003 moved to Virginia

started bartending

couple years, did nothing

didn’t want to be in scene from before

over it, over drug addict/dealing lifestyle

no idea what to replace with

excessive drinking, eating, working day and night

eating and drinking a lot, very angry person

had been slim, got into heavier set around that time, above 200 lbs, miserable

felt no power to change, no will to stop the way I was eating, drinking

didn’t enjoy it, toxic relationship,

one day re-read, book, way of the peaceful warrior

first time, good book, second time, hit like ton of bricks, ready for it

what am I thinking

took reigns, took control of self

inspiration, determination, got out of relationship

exercising, eating more healthy

different relationship,

young lady decided to get me to go to a yoga class

laughed off idea, man who works out going to yoga class, even knowing what it was all about

still ingrained toxic masculinity, felt triggered, wanted to reject

got me to go, lay semi conscious

fed humble pie

I felt it, lasted for weeks after class

physically and mentally

started pursuing deeper,

bikram yoga, going to a couple classes every week, enjoying it, feeling lacking something

other modalities, hatha, vinyasa,

taking practice deeper

2008 moved to virgin islands

things started to unfold

st. john,

caribean, fathers haitian

took me right in, 2/3 national park

tree house resort, around since 70s

lived in a place, lived like never never land from Hook

tree houses connected to each other like ewok village

lived with 2 teachers, practicing everyday

a few spiritual awakenings seemed like psychotic breaks, could only relate to psychedelics

refraining from substances, little cannabis here and there

abstain from alcohol

had experiences that reminded me of psychedelic experiences

in 90s, really into psychedelics

parents got me casteneda books, leary, huxley

deep thirst for adventure into unknown

virgin islands, experiences, more than slightly psychedelic

kriya yoga, kundalini

3:30 get up, practice from 4:00 to 7:30

reintroduced to medicines by two teachers

trepidation at first, had a lot of bad trips

hardcore psychonaut, 15-20 tabs of acid,

¼ ounce of mushrooms

go hard back in the day, medicine would always try to show me things I wasn’t prepared to see

issues, things gone unnoticed, present, front and center

lot of anxiety, jump back into realm of oddities

this time different, sacred setting, meditations, chants, opened the space

found myself in this beautiful space

anxieties, using breathing, surrendering, finding this is a whole different game

spiritual practices, geography to make my way through this much

looking through emotional patternings

why they were there

ego attachments

contacted dad, develop relationship with him again

lot of pride, identified with previous criminal drug dealer self, wanted to get as deep into it as I could, glorified, process of letting go of story

after out of business for years, convicted felon, see how holding on to story, speak for present life

re-introductions to psychedelics and medicines, catalyst to take everything to where it is now

traveling, lived in india, ashram, few awakenings

wasn’t working with any medicines in india

move to australia, sydney, opened studio

powerful urge to work with medicines

seeing shamans faces in meditations

mom and I went to peru, worked with san pedro cactus, mother tried to bring healing to 18 year old self

see, introduction to that lineage, re-introduced in australia, deep calls,

message to peter gorman, put out book,

sapo my soul or something like that, contact him, very connected down in amazon, asked if still had connections

next day, young lady, gf of a friend, from mexico, bringing curandero from peru, coming to do sacred ceremony

fell right in, started working with him, became fire guardian, sweat lodges, learned what I could from him

moved back to carribean

moved back to states

all of that still churning, evolving

manifested in combining medicine into yoga retreats, had been holding retreats for 10 years, started in bali

6 years ago, bringing medicine in

wasn’t confident to serve professionally

serving dmt to friends

bigger ceremonies, facilitating

evolved to integration

put there for a reason

psychedelics are deeply rooted in hindu mythology and in yogic philosophy period, what is soma, entire passages of vedas, singing worship to goddess of soma

agreed to be psychedelic potion of some sort, which substance not agreed upon yet

understood that connection

started using patanjali’s 8 limbed path of yoga sutras, direct application for psychedelic integration

extract juice, extract message from abstract experience

helping your growth

re-introduced to 5me0 dmt

first tried back in 2000, don’t remember

this time, ahhh

experience was the culmination of everything I’d every learned and studied

pure full body, full spirit understanding of samadhi, full cessation of self

god molecule

draw within for few weeks

stopped teaching for a while

ceased to teach classes there, let go of slots

something wasn’t fitting anymore

wasn’t feeling I was doing what I was here to do by teaching a 90 minute vinyasa practice

still beautiful, wasn’t want I was interested in teaching

more satsangs, lectures, workshops

call to take medicine service deeper

trained to serve with Shipibo tribe

clear message, no, this isn’t the medicine you came here to serve

5me0, fear

not sure if you’ve seen someone on 5me0 , very strong experience, has resulted in death

tried to resist, push out notion, no no, creep its way in,

I realized, I needed to learn more

reached out to quite a few other known , respected by me or peers

talk share notes, information

trial and error

help self and beautiful wife,

retreats, focus work on retreats

idea, taking someone out of daily life, growth seldom happens in comfort zone, but make sure they’re comfortable

make sure they’re received very lovingly/warming

prep with participants weeks before retreat starts, online meetings

individual prep work

seeing where holding resistance, suffering

5 yogic principles of suffering

holding container, holding space for whatever they need

making sure nothing for them to worry about or think about

everything taken care of

scary or daunting deep work, feel supported, feel held

get to feel into themselves, expansiveness, great mystery

support of group, support of us, tools at our disposal to handle anything that comes up

purging experience, things need to come up to be released

solid warm safe container, face what they need to

after that, setting in place what they’d like to see in their daily life

doing this work is process of elimination

what do we put in its place

how do we want to operate, respond to loved ones

taking advantage of state of neuroplasticity

using very very well defined system for psychdelic integration, tryptamine sutras

using this system of self inquiry

each participant gets own practice, prescribed daily session

instead of getting swept back up in old routine, have something they can do everyday 10-15 minutes, piece of reading, something to draw back to experience

nurture what is growing

integration very hands on

there for all participants after experience

touch in personally afterwards

about creating lasting change

TP:

amazing, I could listen to you talk forever, every rabbit hole, exquisite, connecting dots

have a lot of catching up to on systems you’ve woven together

what comes to mind is my first, broad set of questions

I just imagine, I’m listening to your story, fuck yeah, amazing, what we gotta do, positive side of postmodernism, syncretism, fusion

mixed martial arts, what about mix healing arts

haters on cultural appropriation, fallacy of appeal to tradition, taboos

hearing voices, indigenous or non indigenous

you have this integrity, hear it in your voice

testimonials will be where it all shakes out

positive life transforming experiences, speak highly of you, that’s what matters at the end of the day

to bring to question

I’m sure you’ve had some push back along the way, wondering if you could talk about strategies

to keep bringing it, integration of different modalities

JB:

to be expected, only came out of psychedelic closet about 4 years ago

social media, caught kick back from yoga community first

came to realized, system of yoga, far more riddle with dogma that I ever thought possible

push back, you don’t need foreign substance to show you enlightenment

all in you

yes true, but always bring up fact that this substance already exists within us, endogenously

believe responsible for mystical experience

in dark, after day 5 or 6, pineal gland will secrete Pinoline, in turn that will secrete down

lungs are main factory of dmt

no science to show from pineal gland

simply means to bring vision

vehicle of mystical experience

ego loves to advance itself in spiritual practice

it will make its way up just with awareness

attaching to progress, lineage, paradigm

take something outside of that paradigm, receive it as attack on world view, views on life, start to lock up there

all paths lead to source

spiritual practices are like thorns used to remove other thorns

they’re all systems and we have to accept that any spiritual practice is by definition a system of the ego

individual

pure source can’t come through as undifferentiated word

filtered through subconscious and minds of humans

analogy bling monks feeling elephant

all feeling small part of big mystery

when start thing that ways not right to do it, that’s when things get questionable

holding on too much

challenge people who say psychedelics are a short cut

may be lessor in time, but not a short cut

are we gonna limit to fabricated experience of time

where our awareness goes there is no time

experience by time shorter, a lot of experience in one

responsible use/proper integration

extremely powerful tool for self inquiry

used for millenia in every different culture

we like to identify with image of enlightened one, pure one, noble one, the yogi that does not need to seek happiness, unswayed, impervious to emotion yogi

I feel this archetypes no longer serves its purpose, drive for rishis mystics and sages, to get consciousness to where its at

hardcore discipline

eventually spiritual practice becomes our own prison, our own maya, just as quick as a shopping mall can

our practice can take us to the top of the mountain, but if you want to

jump into cave, real wholeness, pure mystery, let go of everything, including your beliefs, including spiritual practice

great saying, if on your path to enlightenment you encounter the buddha, kill him, cut him in two

any systems, any time we create systems around spiritual practice, we are both helping and inhibiting ourselves, a bit of a paradox

these systems are needed are for the ego, not bad not a wrong thing to work with and use the ego

whole movement, kill your ego, crush the ego, ego’s not amigo

have to have ego to have human experience

ego is necessary

ego wants to hold on to its identifying with spiritual practice

not bad to play with the ego, have systems for the ego

not like we can jump straight from here to enlightenment, we’ve gotta get there

ego’s gonna fight us every step of the

way if we don’t give it some sort of system

mantra is essentially a way to keep the mind focused on one thing while our awareness can simply merge into the everythingness

have to let go of even that

real myster, true mystery, source itself, beyond our understanding

beyond words, language, can’t be encompassed or understand within any practice

that’s really why I resonate with vedanta, spiritual practice but without walls…but they all have their own walls at the end of the day

TP: wisdom, best peaceful arsenal of tactical concepts, approaches to these issues

people held back by rigidity of dogma, could be from any of these traditions/modalities

amazing neurolinguistic ninjitsu tactics

can’t think of too many instances heard accounts of yogis, spiritual masters, very anti entheogen, can’t think of many accounts of people who were experienced with it, its usually people who are not experienced who want to say I’ve already been there, I’ve already been there, wink nudge, I’ve heard that one before

interesting where that bias comes from

counselor for someone exploring entheogens, irrelevant to their life if you can’t talk about the same landscape, can’t just assume that you’ve been there

straussman came out

had more time ahead in career, after a certain point, the longer you live, that’s less you have to lose

quite a grace

get to a certain age stop trying to impress people

different life stages

different thought forms around relaxing and finding your path

sample different things, duty of care, safety, being held

opportunities to find your path

not first person I’ve heard say, they felt intuitively called to explore serving aya

it’s not most scalable medicine

applaud you, you’re called to serve dmt,

shamans of global village

rak is dear friend

takes em on a ride

I think I found the one, you’re one who’s gonna devirginize my 5me0 virginity

bufo toad tattoo, bucket list

you got a new client

JB: we call them participants

5me0, in sync with the evolution of consciousness

been around, remember, it was legal until 2011, ordered off internet back in 2000

church of toad of light, 80s

being used, wasn’t catching like it is all the sudden

dr jerry, dr octavia, toad blew up

it is, reminder for us

if we look at whats alive in the meme of society right now with consciousness

big questions being asked

AI, singularity, roots of consciousness, where we’re going in evolution of consciousness

no dual experience

other entheogens can

this is a real non dual full immersion into the infinite

complete cessation of self

into wonder of existence

loosen grip on control of it

to allow us to begin to see what we really are

showing, the toad is reminder that we are the medicine

work with the pure molecule, synthetic, less harmful to toad population

not presence of addition 11 alkoloids,

7 of which cardio toxins, know to harm elderly

drama in sonoran dessert

toad is reminder that we are the medicine, don’t feel we need to continue pillaging toad population, toad goes underground for 9 months out of the year, the only toad that produces 5me0dmt in its secretion, believed because it does go into the dark for 9 months

shows us if we go into the dark we can start producing this medicine ourselves which we do

medicine is reminder we are the medicine

making lasting change

having an experience, using responsibly working into daily life

TP: what’s process of getting to the pure molecule, fascinating, all about protecting threatened and endangered species when they become fad psychedelic experiences

JB: made in lab

people say oh that’s not natural, that’s fake enlightenment

over attaching to specific idea

shulgin, I’m I not a manifestation of god, am I not a fraction of the infinite, I’m making these with beautiful intention, am I not nature creating, so I really agree with that

all about where it’s coming from

we know where it’s coming from, it’s made with love, tedious process to make

becoming more widely available

disappeared for a long time

TP: more on naturalistic camp in general, but if it can protect wildlife, probably the way to go

I’ve had beautiful experiences

permaculture, every plant is native, it’s native to planet earth, a lot of bias

fascinating, sounds like you can feel better about

with a bit of time left, kind of journey personally, kind of going with flow of initiations, initiatrixes, initiators,

transcend trauma, be in recovery, I don’t have a very othodox path, with yoga

felt natural for me to gravitate towards unorthodox tantric

open minded, open ended

now I’m kind feel like I didn’t do the

like go to college take fun electives first, gonna have to catch up on more orthodox yogic practices

getting older, landscaping, taking its toll

at a point where it’s important to have asanas, daily practices, haven’t disciplined myself to do

going for sexier stuff

how you frame, language around sexual yoga, tantra, different currents of thought

JB:

funny you said with asana, something, more than a few months, kinda stop practicing more than a year ago,

body kept telling me, stop doing this

cut it down

kept getting injured, mind keeps making it goal oriented practice, opposite of what yoga should be

cut it to very classic simple, basic poses, hold for long time, deep breathing

disagreeing with body, tried adapting in every way

trying to identify with being a yogi so much that I felt I had to hold on to asana, if I wasn’t practicing then I wasn’t a yogi

very odd part of unfolding

comfortable with in last few months

take care of body, exercise, trying to get exercise from asana

no longer resonating with me

not serving me

might again at some point, my real philosophy, keep your practice fluid, don’t hold on to something too much, fine balance to be found between discipline and holding on to a practice that’s not serving you

discernment

sexual practices

experience with classical tantric lineages

studying there, sexual part of tantra, shut that out, my sexuality was an issue with me my whole life

early bloomer, experiencing desires at young age, most people at that age don’t experience, tormented by them

when I became age to be practicing, there wasn’t a whole lot of control,

committed relationships, step outside of relationships in sneaky ways, cause pain cause hurt suffering, I’d feel guilty and wrapped into so much shame

with yoga practice eventually drank kool aid, yogi should suppress all sexual desire turn it into creative energy, draw upwards the spine, yogi doesn’t need sex just a distraction

I really ate that up, put sexuality and urges, completely rejected them almost

so many practices to draw that something up for something different, that wasn’t sexual instead of just understanding its something that’s very alive in me

opening up far more recently

shedding off shame

how much shame around sexuality did I have

trying to hold myself to that monk image, when it just wasn’t me

sexuality and intimacy is a spiritual practice itself

observing oneself in the midst of those, some of the deepest works I’ve ever done in life

investigating that, how it’s making me feel, wonderful

lineages

haven’t been working with

interesting, I am feeling drawn to investigate classical tantric practices again

growing aversion to structures out of fear of dogmatic tendencies

now its just having to find that balance remembering the structures are there for a reason

not over identify with practice, don’t take in everything hearing, swallow it whole

TP: meta narrative neo tantrikas, path to total liberation, embodying all the chakras, kundalini shakti, towards total freedom, have to build to the fire to have the fire burn, it is those practices, you can want there to be nice big celebratory bonfire, but it doesn’t come out of nowhere, this dance you’re talking about

can drive self crazy as man, with the whole when to ejaculate

sometimes the most liberating thing is to not fuckin care

JB: online people post/comment, only way is semen retention anything else is just being dead

jc it must suck to be you

we get in our heads so much get militant about spiritual practice, only path for everyone

what’s working for me right now at this moment must be the only thing that can work for everybody

because somewhere in their head they are bitter that other people are having orgasms and they’re not

animosity, oh you’re just wasting your energy

of course wonderful peak orgasms can be come to without ejaculated

something to be said for that release as well

I don’t think we always need to hold everything in, I don’t think we need to torture ourselves, like these yogic teaching and disciplines taught us for so long, no longer feel it’s necessary

relax in certain areas, does not mean cease to use critical thinking, tools

wounded healer archetype no longer serves its purpose, we no longer need to beat ourselves down to rise our selves us, no longer need to take from ourselves and exhaust ourselves to serve others,

beginning to slowly remember and realize we draw from an infinite well

TP: invite you back sooner rather than later, zoom into more of these topics, really well spoken, a lot of stuff we could commiserate about

if I could put in a bit of commentary to close my thoughts

the opportunities that we have to experience all kinds of different extremes

if your’e adventurer, seeker, psychonaut, yogi, tantrika, why not explore extremities of different practices

cave divers, have a line to follow back to a point

not get lost in someone elses trip

hold on to that

powerful aspect of mind hacks

if you’re a trip reminder yourself you’re on a substance and it will wear off

be flexible to embrace different aspects

sounds really healthy

applaud efforts to dance with different modalities

appropriate experience for folks

final thoughts direct people offerings

JB: in closing I would say, line to hold on to, engaging in exploring into the unknown, line we hold on to is the stillness at the center, learning to cultivate awareness of that stillness ability to navigate through spaces

get back to eye of storm

cultivate, always there to drawn on as we engage in wild wild adventures

email joel (at) itsallsource (dot) com

itsallsource.com

retreats on website

kaivalya kollectiv, beginning of a mystery school based around everything we’ve just been talking about

hope to see you all soon

Brad Amberheart Pic

An Eco-Sexual Healing Meditation for the Planet with Gay Tantrika Brad Amberheart TPP278

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In this episode I’m syndicating the intro to a powerful meditation circle led by Brad Amberheart

For the full meditation please go to: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/gay-tantra/id1493225929

About Brad:

Brad Amberheart is a Tantric sex coach and erotic workshop facilitator who works primarily with gay men. His primary passion is working 1-on-1 with men who are ready to explore erotic ecstasy as a pathway to a higher understanding of who we are and why we’re here. Brad has also led transformational erotic rituals at international Tantra festivals for people of all genders, including the Hawaii Tantra Festival and the Tantra Love Fest in Glastonbury, UK. Between 2017 and 2020, he wrote more than 120 concepts for conscious evolutionary Gay Sex videos and worked on 7 gay erotic film sets to coach male erotic models in how to convey a deeper sense of heightened sexual freedom and expression on camera. His latest endeavor, as of January 2020, is the launch of his podcast series, Gay Tantra, which is the first podcast series in the world devoted fully to the experiential practice of Tantra, Sexual Magic, and Erotic Mysticism for men who have sex with men. To listen to his podcast, watch his gay erotic videos, or book a Tantric Sex coaching session in person or via video conferencing, please visit bradamberheart.com

 

 

Gay Tantra Ganja Oil Massage with Eco-Sexual Religion


CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THIS VIDEO FOR FREE!

Listen to the track Eco-Sexual Religion on Spotify

In this video I demonstrate a gay tantra massage with ganja oil, with an Indian model and Eco-Sexual Religion as the soundtrack

My love is a public resource
Abundant and not to be controlled
Come and get as much as you want
It’s first come first serve
I’m Goddesses’ gift to women
And God’s gift to men
Eco sexual religion
The divine is through our skin
I give orgasms for orchards
Compost your fear of sin
Disrobe and worship nature
Let’s come to fruition
My body is a temple
You must enter with respect
Your heart’s purification
Makes you a worthy initiate

Sexorcism the Tantric Opera Episode 17 “Bless My Hands with Maya Rati”

video
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THIS VIDEO FOR FREE!

This video features Maya Rati as the shakti who receives the devotional worship and puja intended to seek the boons of Goddess Kali to bless my hands to heal the victims of abuse

Listen to the track “Bless My Hands” on Spotify

Song Lyrics:

To find the brightest light
You must enter the sacred darkness
To ascend
You must descend

Kalika will you bless my hands
To heal abuse victims
In your name I must give not take
With your love I shall liberate

Liberate our souls
Our truth will be told
Liberate our souls
Our truth will be told

I grant you power
I grant you grace
I grant you protection
I grant you love

O destructress of the sins of the three worlds, auspicious Kalika, they who recite Thy mantra possess the powers of the Three-Eyed One in the palm of their hands

I’m so ready to embody you
My beloved Kali
Come, oh won’t you come
I bow down to thee
My beloved Kali

Sexorcism the Tantric Opera Episode 16 “The Lost Art of Lingam Massage”

video
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This video depicts a tantric lingam massage featuring Maya Rati and the track Holistic Debauchery

Stream the Track on Spotify

 

Sexorcism the Tantric Opera Episode 15 “Om Namah Shivaya”

video
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THIS VIDEO FOR FREE!

This video depicts a tantric breast massage in a salt water bath featuring Maya Rati and the track Om Namah Shivaya, lyrics are below:

Stream the Track on Spotify

From my Shiva
To your Shakti
I will support you
When you need me

From my Shiva
To your Shakti
I take your pain away
With divine healing

Om Namah Shivaya
Om Namah Shivaya
Om Namah Shivaya
Om Namah Shivaya

Close your eyes
Where ever you are
Take a deep breath,
Feel my hands on your heart
I hold you close
From behind
Warmth from my breath
Sends shivers down your spine

I turn you around
Look into your eyes
Kundalini awakens
Your smile grows wide
In the moments
When you feel alone
Remember our dance
Is your eternal home

Ben Tantra Punk in the Garden in front of the Pond

Ecological Security, Treeage, Self Quarantine, and more Land Lessons TPP271

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In this episode I share more land lessons and updates focusing on a tree care, self care, overall resilence

My Non Verbatim Show Notes:

Last night, dancing in the night, warm and dry, seizing the night, before pouring rain, but still coming down, went out and planted an array of different varieties of seeds, mostly annual herbs and veggies, to be an understory guild around fruit and nut tree plantings

its been a couple of months, phase in and out of blocks of time doing this rehab on this project, that has had exquisite design implementations, that have just been, when you dance and have romance with nature, things can get ahead of you pretty fast, takes people power once established to do maintenance, more or less light, head, cold, moisture, aspects can be set and forget, stuff that needs to be maintained

I’m coming in as reinforcements, do feng shui, rehab, text book permaculture design system, my triage/treeage, set foot on this property I bow to the ground first evening, celebrating the union, faceplant to the earth, made vows, spirits of the land, ancestors, I will do my best to take care of you if you take care of me, never want to set foot off this property again, not wanting to re enter the mix of the matrix, was barely becoming aware of that thing in china, yeah they’re probably gonna lock it down pretty hard, it was one my radar as a prepper, had been since early stages, now it’s exponentially increasing, I’m piping in the up to the minute facts,

prepper fantasy come to life, first days I was here it was quiet, too quiet, picking up from the colony reality tv show, ran a drill of what is exactly happening right now, both seasons of the show, everyone should watch that to see how to navigate the social politics of extreme austerity, they nailed it, a lot of the social dynamics, check it out

this feels like that situation where you’re gonna have to take inventory of what you can mcguevyer and a-team together, food, shelter, water, etc.

its a fucking miracle, all the stars aligning to put me where I’m at now

tragic irony, paradox, you could be doing everything, could still be infected, its a mind fuck, I feel blessed to at least have for myself the optimism of feeling like I have a survival retreat, if I have to go out and do missions into the matrix I have a place to go back to

I’ve done self quarantine already, have the means to extend that for a long time, financially and with preps stored, continue to cycle through

that sort of recap on this last couple of months, getting on to this land and saying to myself, you better maximize the ecological security, resiliency, and productivity of this land now, so you’re not struggling later in more austere times, so filling up every possible container with water

strategizing on rainwater catchment, looking at overgrown system and having to train the eye and the mind and the deeper settle aspects of intuition to feel into where on this design are the places that need the most love and attention and get the most yield, could be immediate, long term, that’s the triage

that’s the training from first aid in cert, community emergency response team training, anyone who understands triage in a mass casualty event, this site is a mass casualty event for trees that have been chewed bare at the base by adorable critters that I will not by any means ever poison, but will have to develop strategies of what’s gonna make it on its own, war metaphors, if you’re gonna survive here, you’ve got to determine systematically, what gets primary care immediately, literally tagging, this tree’s dead, pull it out, chop and drop, mulch in place, so it doesn’t confuse us as we’re going to find the trees that will make it and then sorting the efforts into what needs the most care now, what is doing okay and can wait a little bit longer, what is barely hanging, maybe a goner, lost cause beyond the point of no return, we’ll do a little bit to keep it alive but can’t over extend resources, sorting the efforts into what needs the most care now, and what is doing okay and can wait longer

may look fine today but need to be maintained to keep that level of vigor

that has been the name of the game out here, stacking sats, hodling crypto, dollar cost averaging, smart trading, holding, risking exposure, social distancing, sanitation, strength of immune system

lot of different rodents, trash heaps, places that need tlc, cautious about dust, stirring up a lot of dried rodent feces and urine, dust masks for that, praying hard, really really meditating on the throat and lungs, not gonna go into my herbal remedy approach

don’t want to make any mistakes in any medical advice or natural medicine remedy advice

so that’s the zone that I have been in, meditating on my health, if you don’t want to end up in the hospital, better not be stupid, careless, move to fast, do something mindless to end up in a hospital where they feed you dead toxic food which lowers your immune system, trapped air flow, you’ll be exposed to virsuses, every pathogen on earth cohabitating there, you don’t want to take the space from someone who needs it, slow the fuck down, mindful slow down, don’t get snagged on rusty chicken wire, don’t stomp on rusty nails move slowly, deliberately

had a few nicks, have strategies for maintaining the surface of my skin, phased there immune responses to various stimuli, various symptoms, I feel like a million dollars right now

not medical advice, timely spiritual practice revelations, maybe things happening for a reason, maybe things being synchronistic, some exciting news

its been a wet dream come true to get the fuck back here from mini mission to babylon, before the rains to get dense polyculture seed mix planting into these large donuts of semi composted wood chip mulch around 20 or 30 beautiful trees, need to be cared for, protected, there needs to be a design consideration for anchoring the human activity to regular maintenance of these young developing trees so they don’t get neglected

treeage pulled out a lot of dead twigs, like profusion test, check of consciousness, methodology of steps to determine the vital signs, without equipment, say you’re in a battle field or disaster situation, doing triage, system of tagging and sorting people who are ambulant, can get up and move, put in an area,people who are alive but can’t move, people in critical state of blood loss or other things, can’t speak but conscious, a whole process, not an expert, doing that with trees, which are dead which are alive, you can slowly apply pressure to tips that look super dry, without ripping off more than necessary, take a dry tip, does it flex, bend, snap off, more resistance there, tiny little scratch test, be careful, mindful, scratch a tiny bit, moist green life, interesting practice of shit, if there is any life left, it may be all the way down in the roots, and not know

don’t yank it out, kick it over, or stomp on it, it will have a chance

is there growth below the graft, we go through that process, determine which as salvageable, probably about 20 cubic yards of wood chip mulch, remnants of a bigger load, composted nicely, it was a good mix, cycling through

full disclosure, went to psytribe valentine’s day party knew at that time it would be basically risking death, if I go to that social event, breaking what I had already been feeling was a need to maintain the social distance

everybody elses winter funk, I felt like a million dollars, but everyone drinking sweetened cocktails, smoking cigarettes, lots of love, like clockwork and orgy of viral spread, as far as I can imagine, at that time no indication of a corona virus case in california, no one in state of panic or alarm, in my heart of hearts with or without corona, you better be self inquisitive, is this something that is going to possibly, its the cost benefit, I gotta see my tribe, I gotta see my people

I thought to myself I could pass on this party, but no I need it, I want it, I will be sad if I don’t go,

so I went I danced all night, best party, best vibes, so much to celebrate, for me, global pandemic looming, we were blissfully ignorant for the most part at that point

or course, like clock work, little scratch in the throat be morning, and also when I slept, I felt like there was a bit of a draft I didn’t account for, oh shit, good thing I’m gonna bug out to this land and be totally isolated, and have practically zero contact with anybody for almost 2 weeks, and that was the drill, that was the self quarantine drill and I went through a bizarre fever, and very very mild upper respiratory, pseudo,, proto coughs that didn’t really take hold

as soon as I got tiny tickle in throat, I said battle mode, self quarantine, no more solid food, not gonna say the herb I used but basically did what you would consider like a ayahuasca dieta, I wanted to connect with some of the herbs of this land and say already, take me I’m yours, if I’m goin out, I’m going out in a beautiful nature place, romance with this new to me herb, highly potent and medicinal and I’m not trying to start an mlm taking about it, also placebo effect, okay, I love myself, I do my absolute best to nurture and support and boost my immune system, this is a test, no fear, no worries, just soldier on, about 36 hour period where I was pretty incapacitated with fever, boiled from the inside out, lymph nodes didn’t swell, wasn’t miserable, almost had no mucus, maybe one night I put some very gentle soft, natural soaping solution onto a bit of paper towel, and inserted to stop one night of a bit of a faucet out of one nostril, then it was fine, little bits of phelm over the course of a couple of weeks, I never get sick, hardly ever have fever, keto paleo, no added sugar, no processed foods

a lot of confidence in my immune system, knowing I’m not constantly inflamed, eliminated grains, legumes, dairy, sugar

we’re talking, fruits, nuts, seeds, berries, mostly fish, some poultry, lots of herbs, not gonna get into specific choices of things

I hunkered down, self quarantine, bona fide drill, real threat, I swabbed that whole party, water filter, washed hands but so much hugging and talking, everybody spraying particles

fever was its own psychedelic experience but I would say over all on scale of 1-10, I was surprised by how mild most of the symptoms were, how limited in duration, whatever it was, there’s no reason for me to believe I had exposed to corona virus, it was more lik ea drill, what was off though is that I wouldn’t normally get sick, I wouldn’t normally be getting sick, I would expect ot be fine, novel, no precedent in the immune system, you don’t get any freebees from immune system, you’re fighting a new…

I don’t have mastery of virology, been studying it, I out on the other side of that, no residue phelgm, I feel this more today like a billlion dollars, not selling any herbal secret, I had a profound experience last night out there, seizing the night, humbled by cold and rain, dry with multiple layers of tactical casual gardening clothes and rain gear

and also knowing you don’t want to be out here to long but you gotta stay warm, you gotta dance to live, dance to stay warm, get seeds in ground before you miss the rains, living on the edge, some people are raiding walmart, I’m out there dancing to stay warm and dry and get seeds in the ground, healthy panic mode

win/win, force multiplier, to say to these trees, you take care of me I take care of you, I love you, this is a beautiful romance, I will nurture you, nourish you, and cherish you and be shaded by you and fed by you and you will be the habitat,

as zanzibar said in a recent podcast, polywombic, helping to create habitat fro wildlife, the frogs and toads, almost to tears, so heart melting, I’m just bumping into them, got my light on, actually squared off with one, I got out of its way, the power of this being in front of me, wow, amazing

a beautiful realm, thrilled to be here, I hope I survive everything, a stay strong, do the ecological magic to work this land, make it abundant, build on the strategy of these trees, we’re gonna guild plant around these trees, establish for myself a daily ish route that are dispersed around

keep fertigated, keep moist, rather than orchard over there that does its thing, irrigated, integrating human pathway daily commute, walking through it, gotta go out to where the trees are, kitchen garden growies, overlaying zones 1 thourgh 3, comingling them

small enough to all be convenient to access not so dispersed that its a big chore, you should be walking, hiking, creating a bunch of mini zone one plantings that will be stitched together through earth works, ponding, fertigation, candy land game board

to me that’s been the most important objective, get to that point, so many critters, no mercy, don’t just get ot have a little raised bed box, your veggie garden nope, it will be pulled from underground, checked from above ground, slithered on, grubbed on, little stems

doesn’t work in this level of wilderness, going to have to plant a huge diverse array of sacrificial planting,s

okay with attracting competitors, be happy they are coming around doing their bits, if you go from seeds, the key leverage point of that is that a lot are dirt cheap you don’t need to be that extravagant

I was thrilled to get to that point to have survived that period of self quarantine, to bond with the herbs o the land and to at the moment of the rains beginning have had the hard and soft scaping rehab triage, new where to go int eh dark, with a headlamp those mulch donuts were my tags on the tree age, visual ques, very systematically, need to draw them out on a pirate treasure map for now its in subconscious

don’t want to forget the ones off the path, have a route that trains me to get to all of them incentivize that habit, bend the rules of permaculture zonation, stretch, this tree needs treatment, or pruning, care, change contours so basin is gonna hold water,

all the care you gotta have a reason to care, go out there, planting things around it, things I’m gonna harvest quickly that’s the name of the game,

what was put into action last night

many reasons in spite of whats happening in the world, to be ecstatic and celebrate in the bitter sweet glory of having earned the privilege and luxury to have at least 75 to 85 percent buffering ot be able to follow the best practices, not have to compromise to much

the worse things get, I can scale into and scale out of the official protocols and restrictions and just try to keep myself on a tight leash to this property

the most tragic irony would be to have done all this work, my lifes work to be

secure ecologically and have this opportunity and then be swept up in net, or do something stupid end up the hospital and then be exposed

whatever I’ve done to build my immune system to this point, it’s all nullified by being hospitalized

this is what’s real, this is as fucking real as it gets part of my strategy to adapt to his moment is to really do the triage on making sure the people I love in the world really know it, making the amends, we don’t know who could be next

instead of worry, do the lower chakra things, focus on security, get that squared away and then really carefully feel into who needs to be reminded of your deep and true love for them

a lot of them are coming to me in my dreams, bubbling up to surface of inbox on their own

this is advice, make every day like valentines day from now until the vaccine an effective vaccine and beyond

no matter what your relationship is to a financial crisis, an epidemic, a pandemic, treat every day like valentines day, say namaste, every day and mean it

 

Vanessa Soulxo Collage

Earth Blessing Guided Meditation with Vanessa Soulxo TPP267

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In this episode I’m sharing the audio track from a guided meditation video by Vanessa Soulxo

About Vanessa:

Vanessa LeMaistre is a Spiritual & Soul Empowerment Activist. Her platform provides a self-improvement/positive lifestyle brand to customers who are looking to feel whole within themselves. Vanessa has overcome a lot and believes if she could, so can you. Vanessa is very inspirational and she aspires to inspire. She provides inspirational youtube videos on her youtube channel: www.youtube.com/uareart and on her social media platforms she promotes exerts and positive affirmations from her upcoming book. You can find her on social media platforms such as Ig, snapchat, Twitter under the name: vanessasoulxo which is also the name of her website domain. Her Facebook is her first and last name: Vanessa LeMaistre

Please visit her website at:
vanessasoulxo.com/

Eco Punks Kissing in a Tree

Survivalove: Romancing An Emergency Evacuation Drill Part 03 TPP263

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In this episode I share an audio documentary on an evacuation drill with my beloved from 10 years ago

My Non Verbatim Show Notes:

Got water, we’ve got food

crates, milk crates to organize things in stack them on top they’re everywhere great for organize things

a tent, great if you have a car bugging out, gives you more things to bring may be useful

thermarest mat, different scales or modules of bugging out, mini kit, bug out bag, bug out vehicle, bug out location, from smallest to largest you’re gonna have a lot of the contents will be the same but more elaborated the more space you have

in your office, people may over look, bug out bag in car all day, if something is obstructing your ability to get home from work, plan to deal with an emergency with family together, get out of your home get somewhere else some how

bug out bag in your car, most people can’t just haul in a giant bug out bag into work and just post that up, so beneath that if you have what they call a mini kit, then a miniaturized set of tools and cordage, anyone can carry a multitool

go to work with regular backpack, small scale first aid, high nutrient energy bars, water bottle, at a bug out location that’s your ultimate survival retreat with a permaculture garden growing itself, on it,

well

mother load of preps out there, but if you scale down into you pocket you should have miniaturized version of that

boy scout hand book, fire and cordage zine, whole point of having all these things, do these drills and use them regularly, not have to dig them out in an emergency

in our fast paced busy lives its hard to set aside time to go and set up drill scenarios and just spend time playing with our toys

endeavor to do that more, if you don’t have the time, at least having it is good so when you need it there, but there’s skills that go along with every piece of equipment, just makes a sharper learning curve

scaling up of equipment, a little bit of cordage on body at all times, to more in bug out bag, to whole roll in car, to spool at a bug out retreat property, build tree forts, do all kinds of stuff

first aid kit, vehicle first aid kit, mini flares, hazard signal, basic tools in the bug out vehicle

duct tape, dust mask, hammer, saw, pliers, pry bar, basic tools, tool box type of things, jumper cables, air compressor, battery starter, bailing wire, oil funnel

not even being a crazy survivalist to roll with tools, it’s common sense

a jack, spare tire

extra dog food

dogs are great for traveling

bring something that would make the dog feel at ease, enough water for dog, or animal companion

training dog friend how to hunt

cats are good but difficult to take traveling

mobile office,

checking air pressure, oil, fluids

keeping a half to ¾ ot gas tank at all times, don’t wait til the gauge is in the red

major congestion in emergency, rolling out of house almost on empty, if you can carry extra fuel safely, if it’s difficult to have reserve fuel, at the very least know you have plenty of gas in the actual tank at all times, emergencies come with short notice

you’ll be stuck, at the risk of being rounded up in some kinda of human zoo, won’t be wild and free

didn’t have budget to show crazy urban meltdown situation, insinuation, with vehicle we weren’t able to get to bug out location, had to leave the vehicle and haul on our backs would we could

scenario is, you have bug out bag at all times in vehicle, at the point where you can’t go further with vehicle, if the streets were clogged, they’re corralling people, decide to go on foot, planned out, have maps, going to retreat into the woods and wait it out, if you’re in your bug out vehicle with your bug out bag, take things out of the bug out vehicle you can pack with you

do a little inventory and swapping of things, get a little more food, a little more water

we’re gonna go set up a stealth camp, near the car, continued access to the bug out vehicle, get a couple days of stuff then go back and replenish supplies, think of it as your little canteen

foraging on the secret wilderness retreat

fennel leaves munching on, fennel seed

nasturtium, eating flowers

always know what you’re eating, do the proper plant identification

legal disclaimer, don’t eat anything unless you know what it is

rule of 3s you can live 3 minutes without air, 3 hours without shelter, 3 days without water, and 3 months without love, that’s what Ron Hood says

a lot of times people in survival situations just assume that the thing they need to do first is find food, get panicked crazy and desperate thinking they need to find food right away, less circumstance where you’re gonna have limited access to oxygen, what really matters is to know that say you’re stranded somewhere, it could be a desert, it could be high mountain where it’s gonna get cold, could be tropical, you’re gonna get wet, first thing you’d want to do is secure your shelter, 3 hours of exposure to extreme weather conditions could kill you or weaken your immune system, gear/maps could get destroyed, first thing you want to do is build shelter or dig shelter, construct shelter, according to rule of 3s, next you’d have 3 days after building shelter to find water, once secured that, go on to search for food, you can survive on your own reserves for 3 weeks before you’re dead, monks can go astounding periods without foods, depending on how much energy you’re using, hiking out using a lot of energy, lost trying to find way back

main point, you have a good solid 3 weeks if you cover shelter and water, before you’re at the point of desperation of going into universal edibility test

levels of danger eating anything wild, it’s own endogenous biochemical toxins, then the exogenous toxins it can absorb from environment

weeds are scabs of the earth, able to draw out and into themselves high levels of toxins, can be dangerous even if on their own they’re medicinal, it can be a double edge sword

you don’t have to cut corners to eat right away

definitely worth waiting to do it right

hanging out with eucalyptus, not to be ingested but good for anti septic, vapor rub

eating mustard greens

guitar and flute to lift the spirits, playing judas priest, breaking the law

raw natural food part of any beings diet, it’s gotta be competitive with the hottest crack sugar food on the shelf, it’s all doable, all the textures can be made with blender, dehydrator, food processor

hand crank, bicycle powered blenders, old school cider presses, grain grinders, all be refashioned without electricity, human powered stuff

how to start fires, that could be a whole series

this was good for us, this drill, to be able to document in this way is cool, not only serve our purpose of testing, felt really good to do, felt really go know that we really did put a lot of good stuff together, we didn’t pack up the car we could have found out, we really didn’t know what would fit, we had an idea, this was our first drill

got it several gallons of water, tons of food, we did a month or so before that, gone through everything we owned and compartmentalized things in easy bug out

what would we not want to leave that would be sentimental, what would be be screwed if we left, ready to go as ready as possible, very procedural, went down check list of procedures to get things out of certain places

after thought, the way we had that nice blanket laid out on the ground, put everything on there, have a good visual aid to know what you’re taking, what you may be missing, if you had stuff scattered in different areas even if you checked off that you have it

everything we took we laid out on the blanket first, if anything would be left behind it would have to be left on that, easy to check that than the whole house

very cool to have done that and get that experience

again we’re definitely not experts, this was two people who are scared shitless of what it would be like to be trapped in a city when shit it the fan, started process of self educating, equipping, starting to explore well established subculture of survivalism, from diy punk to eco punk , shows, touring so many skill sets and experience similar to modern survivalists

there’s a big gap though between diy anarcho punks are doing that’s survivalistic, between wilderness survival, or ex-military types, a lot to be learned from those folks who are out there, don’t have exact same political philosophies, practical skills and knowledge, hippies too, out in the hills, ex-military, tactical training, army field manuals, tying knots, carry someone injured, build shelter

punks anti technology anti system life style unfortunately lack that hard traditional american sort of roughing it back woods, hick type of skill sets, you have a lot more of that background that I do, I didn’t get to experience in my childhood, but you definitely had more of that experience as a backwoods girl, cave lady, you bring a lot more to me and a lot more experience and background, again just trying to figure this stuff out with not a lot of money, good personal experience here and there

I would just encourage people to get ideas, get fired up to go and start the process, never ending process of preparing for personal , regional, national, global disasters of all kinds

a lot of disaster commonality, if you’re prepared for one thing you’re also prepared for other things

more resilient on many levels, cross applies to anything you encounter

we were intense about doing it every day for months at a time, studying consistently for about a year, this is like our final exam

had lots of teachers, listened to a lot of podcasts, a lot of videos, really took notes, documented went out

we didn’t just have ideas that all of this would be really cool, we actually went out with limited funds, purchased our materials, or diyed our materials, really economical about things but still we really actualized it, that’s really important and really awesome,

part of it was a safety net because me growing up in a safer place, surrounded by a lot of wild areas, then making the adventure of la, what can I do if the city goes down

dad lives in the mountains, hunting and fishing, what are you doing moving to l.a. being very concerned for my well fare

urban environment always under constant threat of being extinct

good way to connect with the earth

deliberate life, tried to be health, smart, efficient, safe, secure, prepared, resilient, self sufficient

Eco Punks Kissing in a Tree

Survivalove: Romancing An Emergency Evacuation Drill Part 02 TPP262

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In this episode I share an audio documentary on an evacuation drill with my beloved from 10 years ago

My Non Verbatim Show Notes:

Starting to load the car, water dry food

checking things off the list

really are doing this, the dry food, bullets beans band aids, bag of beans

brown rice, the 5 gallon buckets are most ideal long term food storage units, you can put oxygen absorbers in, keeps critters out, won’t be able to chew their way through it, not as easy as anything in the pantry, isn’t secure

keep your food stuffs very safe from critters, safe from moisture, and actually a company called gamma seal that makes lids with twisting tops

your fingers get chewed up trying to pop off those lids, the standard lids, definitely the optimal food storage units

bagging up electronics in zip lock bags, definitely a smart thing, keep them dry, also to keep wires separated, in emergency don’t want to have to untangle wires from junk drawer

use them to isolate wires

connecting to the internet world, technology

wouldn’t have thought to bring extra battery or generator, using are as generator, being able to still have technology in your life if you have a vehicle

ready to go the moment that shit hits the fan

packing everything, displaying everything we have in here, everything I felt I needed in that bag but the bag was really very small, it’s korean military bag, very small, 3 pouches on side, flap, made from strong canvas

a lot of little things make up my bug out bag, all really important

ongoing inventory of all preps, as I get a pay check I add a couple of things

background on bug out bags, another term for them, important distinction, 72 hour emergency kits, kept in vehicle in the trunk, somewhere safe in a vehicle, main traditional application or concept, if you’re out and about and you need to get from a point of danger to point of safety you can do so on foot with a back strapping pack,

difficult to carry 3 gallons of water, water purification iodine crystals, also knowing about water purification, 3 days would not be practical to pack around, definitely have a means of getting water, you have water bladder, I got collapsible 2 gallon plastic jugs, if you had to set up a camp somewhere, needed to go get water, unfold it, take it back, boil the water, use filtration, purification

going awol, american archetype, doing the walden thing, can’t think of the right classic, going off into the wilderness forever, its not necessarily for that, a lot of overlap, people pack in wilderness survival, magnesium match, water proof matches

hunting gear, fishing gear, first aid kit, anitbiotics, sutcher kits, salts, different things that seemed really necessary, luxury too, to have some of these things

how amazing would that be to be able to have, if you came down with gnarly infection, you had access to an antibiotic

small shovel, 12” dig a hole to use restroom, use it for trapping, use it for collecting water, digging a whole and getting water that way, that drains at the bottom of your whole and tracking with tarp

shovel, since we did this I’ve done more studying, I would fact check everything we’re saying, using shovel to dig yourself a shitter at least 12 inches deep, no where near any water supply, if near stream have to shit dig deep hole far from any water, may want to mark it too, disperse throughout area, don’t just make a giant pit in a camping area, disperse if you can

solar still, a way to get water, a solar still, you dig out a whole, if you create a steam room with sunlight even works when sun’s gone down, mini green house, with plastic sheet, a tarp best is for it to be transparent or translucent

a pot at the bottom of whole, put some greens around your pot, fallen leaves from trees, brush, to kind of release some moisture, collect moisture from top of the tarp, droplets form, water goes down into that, thin piece of tubing

you could suck it out so you don’t have to disturb the tarp

one use of the shovel, also a canvas water bag with plastic lining that you could change in side

little rain poncho, rain gear, dog leash, tarps, warm clothes, wool sweater, long johns, deck of cards for fun, eating utensils, foil, emergency blanket, good for keeping warm, also for sun protection, if you’re lost and you need attention, signal

it looks like there’s pens, two writing pens, one wrapped with fishing line, one wrapped with duct tape, film canisters with fishing weights

pens, to have mini roll of emergency stash of duct tape, applying principle that you have such limited space, you want to cut down on excess objects and weights, make an object multi useful,

to have a pen is so important, because bugging out the idea of bugging out in southern california is really scary, I work on one side of town you work pretty far away, scenario you don’t have access to car or freeway is clogged, a place of meeting, how long do we wait before we move on, is there a second place

idea of letting one another know, I’ve been here, I need you to know that I’ve been here and have moved on, write a note on something, that doesn’t go away

within a survival scenario, something that’s sturdy, and write, I’ve been here, I’ll meet you down the way, having a pen is important

if you wanted to really have fun with it, you can develop different code systems

definitely encrypted numbers, there’s a simple system plus 1 or plus 2 encryption, easy methods as long as everybody in your unit has the key, you’ll know whatever’s written

flourescent tape for wilderness situation, mark you trail

also fishing gear, trapping line, fish weights, fish hooks, knife for fishing, great japanese knife little hook at the knife for gutting fish

lighters, magnesium match, steel wool, matches

steel wool, 4 ought, very fine stuff, its a form of tinder, ignites very well, trying to create friction fire with wood, it’s a hard

you can use a battery, if you connect to battery you can get a spark that will light

light weight transportable instant tinder, ignites really easy will help you get rest of kindling going

tube tent

medical bag, pair of gloves, I work in medical, definitely some latex gloves

gauze, alcohol swabs, antibiotics, ammonia, medical tape, bandages, sutcher kits, ointments, blade, small scalpel, raiser blades, tweasers, pregnancy test

being able to have tampons, not gonna be able to renew them and get them , have to diy it, something that’s useful is a sponge, sterilize it in some boiling water, it will shrink sponge, so find big one, picking out all sand or shell in sea sponge

floss, or really durable string on end of sponge, you can use it internally, if you need to you can take it out and rinse it and let it dry out and re-insert, two or more sponges is kinda handy, cycle them out as they dry, make your own pads, out of all flannels, I’ve seen girls make their own pads and make wings on them and button them around their underwear, do things like that, making them pretty

there are alternatives out there for women for bleeding, I’ve known women who are like whatever I don’t even care, just go to town on bleeding and doing their thing

flow is so light, if you’re really active, you might be hiking a lot, climbing, even if not eating a whole lot of food, period might not be so heavy, those are things you can do that will be in your medical bag also, whole chapter on bugging out

fertilize the garden, recycle nutrients always

also some sentimental stuff, blankets,

a pipe, a flute pipe, pictures, some things for trading, journal their to keep the spirits up and paper, notepads and stuff to log things, draw maps, trails, keep track, or universal edibility test, a million reasons why you’d want to have a solid notebook/journal, could keep you entertained, books

we had books in the vehicle, all pretty practical stuff, if you could afford to have something that would entertain you that would be good too

camera

can opener, head lamp, one of those shaking flash lights, liberty stamps, means of communications, prepaid backup cell phones, phone cards, forever stamps if you circumstances were such that you wanted to send mail, didn’t have money, didn’t want to be seen wanted to be stealth, you have those stamps, regardless of how price goes up, if you have old stamps, it will get bounced, forever stamps, they’re good at that rate

having some of those, having that mindset of what are your redundancies for your communications, something we didn’t mention yet in that notebook, have your contact lists, the idea that if you were to bug out, have 3 destinations, a couple of rally points and three routes to get to those, main idea, if you had to get out of your house and get out of city, state, expect that you don’t want to have one destination, it could fall through, you would want to have at least 3 possible places where you’re post up with self family, family member that lives outside of town or state, or even state park, where there’s water and you could even hunt, bugging out, preps for it, our destinations and routes, did have printed maps, of different routes, and rally points if we were at work, where are we gonna meet if we’re separated and we need to get together in our city before we leave our city, having that documentation, having printed out list of emergency contacts, your own personal medication information, what people to be able to find your emergency contacts, your medical conditions, allergies, careful of how much personal info you have in papers just rolling around with you, if you lose them, potential for identity theft

I would rather have someone steal my identity, take that risk and have documentation I need to be safe if found unconscious or cut off from electricity, computers don’t work, cell phones don’t work, don’t know family members phone numbers, so dependent on speed dialing, voice dialing, going back through the information age, through pencils, big contractors pencil, have to shave it off with a knife, the point is riffing off from forever stamp, so many different ways to back up vital information you’re gonna need, navigation you’re routes, who you’re gonna contact

also had a compass, very important

pepper spray

razor blade, for medical emergencies

matching bags on a lot of things we would go shopping at the surplus store, get two of each, point out things that were unique to mine

machete is the cutting tool of choice if doing anything as far as natural living, low tech gardening to clearing space, its the way to go

a mirror for hygiene and signal mirror

have some sort of mirror, most effective way to signal planes going by, or on ground level from a distance, reflect the sunlight a certain way, clothes pins, for hanging clothes to dry over the fire

handkerchief, good for keeping head cold, dip in water, wrap head or neck, filter large debris out of water, use it to carry or tie things, cover face from dust

dental floss, for sewing, little sewing kits safety pins, rubber bands, fasteners, zip ties, bungee cords, cordage, fishing line, paracord, cup/bowl that can be cooked with, hand wood saw, wire saw, which is great, tiny little strip of jagged wire with two key rings, simple way to cut through wood

there’s a value in having a steel frame pack or pack that has a way to keep the actual mass off of back, airflow, because you can be sweating into the bag, definitely getting clothing wet, dealing with unwanted dampness when it gets colder, create airflow between surface area of pack for long hiking trips

whistle/compass, good for signaling for danger, dealing with bears,

cool concept, a lot of wild animals will tend to want to avoid you rather than confront you if at all possible, most bad situations when you surprise wild animal, they don’t have opportunity to make their own escape, the way to avoid that is to have a bell, or be singing, or clapping, as you’re walking, if you’re scared because you don’t know what’s out there, what helps you lift your spirits, singing or whistling, or jingling, making some musical racket, create sonic buffer zone or shield around you, it alerts animals, they’ll more often than not, clear the way to avoid even being near you

the flute and guitar, not just for campfire, but literally walking through wilderness the more pleasant noise you can make the safer you’ll be

zip lock container, tooth paste, toiletry items, different things

that’s most of our bug out bag, there’s more odds and ends, a lot of stuff in there

Eco Punks Kissing in a Tree

Survivalove: Romancing An Emergency Evacuation Drill Part 01 TPP261

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In this episode I share an audio documentary on an evacuation drill with my beloved from 10 years ago

My Non Verbatim Show Notes:

Pea pod, double wide sleeping bag, a way of life

tendency to roll away in the night, kept us very tightly connected, exquisite experience of couple-dom

really bonding experience to sleep in a double wide sleeping bag with one another

warehouse used to live and work out of, not super insulated, swap cooler, no heat, no air, being in that in the middle of the winter was great

my dog, got so much personality, so much love that she wants to offer people, offers companionship, protective, looks docile, but very defensive of me, protective of you, let us know when there were people around that we didn’t want in our personal space, guardian protector

definitely a survival plan should include any type of dog, different breeds that have different…its all training too, extension of your senses so important when facing any danger, beyond our senses as humans, so dulled, untrained, don’t have fine tuning, beyond the bandwidth of our perception

4 legged member of your family, so many different dimensions of safety and security, she’s great to bug out with, learning how to hunt, learning sign language, how to be quiet, make a left on a trail right on a trail, when to be still, for hunting, depending on level of training you give your dog, companion, friend depends on how useful they’ll be to you

jumping on trampoline, japanese style sacred eating table we would cross our legs and that was pretty funny actually, seemed to work pretty well, firm enough to give a nice foundation

good for the spirits to do a little bouncing around, get blood flowing, lymph moving

next we have the diy ramshackled version of the wing chun/jeet kune do wooden dummy, made from a log from a salvage yard, electrical or plumbing pipes, other futuristic post apocalyptic mad max devices, motorcycle helmet, bike tube and stuff, to show self defense training, bugging out

every morning, first thing you’d do is jump on trampoline, work out, do some pull ups, make your breakfast, go jogging around the park

potential for 2012 solar maximum, peak in solar flare activity, the most probably catastrophe that could affect things on national if not global scale

headlines: governments be warned, the grid has a high chance of being crippled for several years

shit hit the fan scenario with maximum scale and impact

evacuation drill depicts what we would do as survival minded folks if we see this and decide we’re getting out of the city

we decided there’s an impending threat, it’s just a drill, experimented with trying to dramatize it, I mainly lack the skills, just being aware that threats exist and apply a logic to what you would do

should I stay or go, survival speak, bug in or bug out

we had to think about it a lot, bugging or out, when is it appropriate, to actually not go to work, or say forget my life I’m going to my bug out space

when is okay to change your whole life on a hunch, it’s a big decision

dry erase board use for lists of stuff we wanted to get

there are different degrees of impact of a SHTF scenario, disaster, crisis, smallest scale, your own personal life, job loss affects just you, everything around you is business as usual, acutely happening in your own life

you should list the threats in your area, southern california, urban rioting, not like people homesteading, people already off the grid

thinking through the threats, what are a few of the major threats that could face us in this area, how long would they eventually last, how long to bug in or bug out, based on this kind analysis

if there’s rioting, we can stay in

potentially still be making money through the internet, if there’s a pandemic, and there’s martial law and there’s rioting, thank god we don’t have to go out and try to buy food and water because we have it stored already, we can bug in safely, a week, 2 weeks, a month, however long

building up supply to have more and more duration, if something’s long term be able to stay

argument for having money saved

what if things are so bad that you won’t still get thrown out

if you don’t have saved money, opposed to credit card debts and living month to month, have the money to pay for your bills have as many months of secure cash, checking or saving so you can stay there, not go to work if you don’t feel safe or comfortable

if you bug out and you do plan to come back, if the threat subsides you’ll still have your home if you’ve saved enough

how american it is, how southern california it is, rioting in los angeles, it did take days, maybe weeks to recooperate, other places may be a really long time, rioting could turn into a war, government vs the people

much different scale for different parts of the world

a lot of places the shit already has hit the fan, it’s post apocalyptic already

came across word, transapocalyptic

the world is in a transapocalyptic state

so many different levels

forecast is the grid is going down, could be anytime, we’re getting out of la

big part of our evolution as lovers is what the hell are we doing in la we should be far far away from danger, living on a permaculture food forest with friends, safe tucked away in the high hills, the dream of escaping the urban jungle, escape from LA Kurt Russel style

notebook, standard protocol, have this in your vehicle as well, check list for what we would do to close the shop, have a list of the things you know you would take, know how to shut off gas, water, turn out lights, unplug things,

already created checklist to close shop

evacuation check list

have a pair of ankle supporting strong, hopefully water resistant or water proof boots in bug out vehicle or bug out bag

can’t march in fancy shoes

gearing up

putting on carabiner clips, hasn’t become the biggest craze, but some day I’m going to claim being the founder of the carabiner clip/shoe lace tethering your stuff

you attached one of these to my notebook, to purse, I could never really attach on to my clothes, used to wear a lot of skirts, dresses, puffy stuff, not a lot of pockets

there it is right when you need it, notebook, wallet

I clipped something onto one of the loops that holds the strap of your purse

cell phones are really slippery, have a tendency to slide out of things, a string, something floss, something strong, be able to clip it, it could save your life

it’s awesome

books and videos, poser shot of entertainment and education media, highlights

milk crate book shelves

psychedelic shamanism, bruce lee’s art of expressing the human body, I turned into a training nerd, you see the results of him in action on screen, made a laboratory of his own body

raw food diet, guerrilla gardening

1200 watt power inverter, got it rigged up to car battery, mainly good for appliances, ive got the 150 watt one, good for laptop and cell phone

use your car as a generator, every vehicle is a generator, not most efficient, fact is if it’s running, you can be charging things, in a bug out/SHTF ability to power different tools, lights, extra fuel, emergency, do most of what you can in a house with running your engine

if power goes out, on your property you still have auxillary power if you consider your vehicle a generator, if you have a power inverter you can go out to your car

filling up little bottle of soap, need to pack hygiene stuff in a bug out bag, if you’re out facing danger, having to hit the road, be out in urban or wild bugging out situation, the need to stay as clean as possible is a really vital need, most of what is gonna get you is gonna be infections, small cuts and scrapes

hospital jammed up, in hiding, whatever it is

first aid kit, extra medicine

anything you need to stay hygienic its gonna be even more important if you don’t’ have a shower, can’t get help if you need it

bucket gardens, I love to garden, I loved to go out and just really had a hard time of not having any type of ground earth, to make compost or garden or just feel beneath my feet, living in la

you came up with this idea, of bucket gardens, tried experiments, pallet gardens, what was the measurements

determined we needed a lot more soil for that to work

bucket gardens were great, deep enough, got a lot of food out of those guys

lots of salad clippings, onions, different types of herbs, lots of parsley basil swiss chard, collard greens, tomatoes

we were very busy and definitely could have perfected it more, totally cool though that the cut and come again, gardening term, eating off of them a couple times a day

whole concept of cut and come again, basically holding back the life cycle of the plant, not let it go to seed, don’t want it to bolt, the leaves start to get bitter, more rigid, end its life cycle at that point, go to seed

always wanting to continue that process, the more you cut it back and eat off of it, the more it will produce

continually working with it, some will keep going for years and surprise you

before I got into growing food, I kind of thought what a waste grow a lot of lettuce for months, eat it once and its gone, but there’s once that keeping growing

stay very well covered with your greens

another thing about buckets, drilling holes in side for green onions and herbs, quarter sized wholes grows so much more biomass

can grow tomatoes upside down

growing in 360 degrees, chaos cross of food coming out of a bucket,

dig that if you’re limited on ground space

if we had a truck we’d take these with us in the truck, we had a car, that was our bug out vehicle limitation

take them and go plant them, put them in good soil, good compost and take care of them, grow and thrive a lot better

citrus harvesting tool, diy

t-shirt cloth sewn around a coat hanger attached to a stick pole

modular kitchen compost sink collector thing

composting in a plastic tote, regular storage bin

with that mulch that the city provides stuff gets cooked down in there pretty fast

does better in larger outdoor pallet set up

turning it pretty regularly, we were responsible with our industrial limitation and our food scraps, we did take it all to the garden in long beach that has an actually pallet based system, using the same mulch able to maintain pretty good health

the real bug out which was when we left the place, it wasn’t a solar storm, definitely a point where we had to move on from the space, all the compost got taken to a real garden, all the buckets found a home there

this is just to document the lifestyle of daily smoothies

sprout jars, huge value to know about and to use, if you think of comparing, most crops as a gardener or farmer, depends, if you could imagine that the average cycle from planting to harvesting is at least 3 months, this is a 3 day turn around from germination to harvesting and eating

while there are vast abundant stockpiles of grains and seeds available, they’re dirt cheap, all you need is water and air, don’t need sunlight

very transapocalyptic, imagine being in a cave, shelter, with water, seeds, beans, grains, nuts, able to grow tons of biomass, ready to eat in a couple days

quinoa, sunflower seeds, fill bottom of jar ¼ deep in 3 days they’re growing out the top

soak over night, tilt, rinse

avoid mold, create air flow

a lot of water, learned our lesson gallon water jugs started to leak

food great 55 gallon drums, glass

these were leaking, this type of plastic is not the healthiest or safest

not good for you, with the budget for this movie we had to get the low grade stuff

if you know there’s a bug in situation, filling the bath tub with water, using that as a trough

on tour read national geographic complete survival guide book, list of other places that you wouldn’t normally think about to get water from, water heater, pipes,

if you had a pool, huge source of water, keep full, anywhere you can be storing water on a regular basis is good

one of the main things, rule is a gallon of water per person for day, minimum, not only drinking water, but to wash hands, sanitation

bug in situation, dont’ have water to flush toilet, what are you gonna do, serious health hazard, imagine a quarantine and you get sicker from staying in your house because you all got hep

cutting up fruits, fruit smoothie in the morning, apple, banana, nut butter, cacao, honey, I like mine sweeter

hemp protein

avoid soy

green smoothie

crust, I’ve been on guerrilla status living in weird circumstances, without refrigeration, adapting to transapocalyptic lifestyle, dry food storage, food prep, super cheap but super high nutrient, trip, developed this human dog food, concept

knowing what the essential ingredients in holistic human diet, make them into pallet about good tasting, flavorful, little dog treats, really good though, right amount of spice

really good stuff, the veggie ones are my favorite, veggie crust and fruit crust, love both of them

my favorite one was the veggie

the red, fruit crust, breakfasty, salty, red or green, both have some base, then the variable is the fresh produce and the spices

spices for breakfast; cacao, carob, cinnamon, you choice of your favorite breakfast fruits, apple banana, berries if you can afford it, the cheapest and easiest way without refrigeration get fruits and vegetables that would last a long time, carrots, apples

dehydrating will keep for a long time

you can use anything idea is to acknowledge every day human being needs to have leafy greens, fresh fruits, keeping it raw, dehydrating, keeping the structure of nutrients

different states of matter same ingredients make a smoothie, or humus, or dried

soupy or water, is kinda like a raw soup motif with the blender

food processor used to make it a sort of dough, make the crust with it, have a dip like a humus, or breakfast meal

from that stage, lay it out on a dehydrator sheets

home made fire cider, garlic, cayenne, lemon juice, apple cider vinegar, ginger

Alexandria Foxxcroft

Loving Big in the COVID-19 Era with Alexandria Foxxcroft TPP258

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In this episode some joined by my esteemed colleague in mindful preparedness Alexandria Foxxcroft for an exploration of strategies to remain calm, peaceful, and loving amidst the chaos

About Alexandria:

Alexandria is a health educator and proponent of positive sexuality and mindfulness. With her skills and interests combined, she lovingly guides herself and others to deeper, more meaningful levels of pleasure and intimacy while holding space for life’s modern demands. You can find her art, life, and play on: https://www.instagram.com/alexandriafoxxcroft/

My Non Verbatim Show Notes:

always a pleasure to collaborate and talk with you

what I’ve been up to since we last chatted on the podcast, I’m not living and performing vegas

volunteer at positive sexuality conference, that’s how we first got to talking

come full circle

as we are facing something completely unprecedented, corona virus, las vegas pretty much all shut down, casinos closed, hotels empty , strip is quiet, many people out of work, staying home, grocery store shelves are empty, some people panicking, upset, other peoples treating it summer break I get to rest, haven’t had a break from work for 5 years

for me, household, partner and I have enough to get us through some time, staying out of public spaces the best as we can, safety practices, staying connected to family, to loved ones, really enhancing my mindfulness practices, more yoga, more water, more baths, indulging in little things, those treats that might not seem all that important, really taking care of myself, stress lowers immune systems, be gentle with myself and others, think about that, everyone is going through this

we’re all experiencing these new stress levels, horizon, that’s not clear, extend a smile, be kind generous, take care of number one

I do really appreciate that being mindful of the media that we consume is very important right now, easy to get swept away, find trusted sources to check in with a couple times a day so you’re informed, don’t let the fear get in the way of your ability to respond with thought and intelligence

stay occupied, attending to our basic pleasure needs, something I am welcoming into my life as well, its a nice time to kind of say, I don’t need to be afraid, I don’t need to shy away from sex work and being an online presence that can show a healthy sexy intelligent spiritual way of holding my own in a sexual manner, being able to support your cam workers and entertain yourself and help them keep food on the table, past couple days been home thinking about ways to make money and keep the public engaged, keep myself engaged, account on chaturbate, played on that a bit last night, new platform for me, so many things that go on with it, mad props to everyone who’s able to do it and have fun with it, will leave that link with you, we’re all stuck in side, it’s nice to have some fun

drop in tune out check in

as you sit there or you’re laying or you’re in a state where you can come to pause, just enjoy that pause, feeling your breath, feeling your body, coming into awareness, just yourself, recognizing that you individual are part of this global universal collective, you person listening are a link in this beautiful web, multicolored, multitextured multipatterned fabric that makes up our entire being, attune to yourself, give yourself that love compassion, that permission to be, to be still, to be tender, to be nervous, happy excited, anxious, loving and loved, however you are, you are allowed to just be present with that, know that whatever is happening within your being, some one else is experiencing that as well, move outside of yourself and offer that love to someone, someone who’s easy to give love to, parent, child, friend, lover, teacher, stranger, offer them love however they are,

gentle quite acknowledgment, I see you, moving on to another, someone who when you think about them, feelings not so easy to touch on, acknowledge them as a human, encountering whatever life experiences they will encounter today, they are part of this beautiful tapistry, they are part of our story, offer them love, acknowledge their existence as part of this whole as we pass others, think about others through our day, acknowledge them as human just as we are, offer them love, peace and compassion, you seeing them will lead us through these dark times

it will help bolster you against anything that comes your way, every individual has a story, their own psychodrama, no need to take it personally, just acknowledge them as human, a link in this chain, take care of yourself let them take care of themselves, just be, be present, give yourself permission to slow down and recognize yourself as this beautiful beam of light, may not feel it but you are it, breath, breath connects us to our source, connecting to source allows us to align, allows to make decisions with more kindness, this is what we need right now, we call you to be your highest self so you can respond intelligently to anything that comes your way, in closing I uplift you I see you, may you feel held and not alone, inhale, exhale to release all doubt and all worry, inhale compassion and peace, namaste

Kali Painting

Kali Sahasranama in Sanskrit and English Read by Sufiana TPP257

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In this episode I share the recording I commissioned from Sufiana of the 1008 names of Goddess Kali, including both the Sanskrit and English

 

Shroom Goddess Kali

Love Poetry as Practice Meditation for the Moment of Death TPP248

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In this episode I share a poem I wrote which serves as preparatory meditation for the moment of death

Notion of preparing oneself to have an intentional thought form intentional desire at the moment that you transition to another form, at the point of death

if that is an acute moment, if it is a circumstance where you have the foresight to boot up a vision a meditation and run that, there’s supposed to be, some mystics say, that’s what’s going to determine where you go, if you come back, how you come back, all of that kind of stuff

how could it do any harm to have some practice in that arena, you could put yourself into extreme circumstances and actually simulate, jump into freezing lakes, give yourself a near death experience and practice your transitional meditation, I’m not promoting or endorsing

if you’re not going through the life review, maybe you’ll get an imagine in edgewise, or get to focus on or pause or something

I’d have to dig into the topic of actual near death experiences, versus perceived, the fear of your life being taken, versus seeing the light, going through the tunnel

I don’t think I’ve had a going through the tunnel experience myself, I’ve gone through physiological states of shock, lots going on there

the west is far behind on death studies, no reason to be morbid, just doing a lottery of what’s on my spreadsheet to share, daily content, daily podcasting, short sweet, little riffs I’ve captured in notepads over the years, worth storing for myself and now sharing

as an invitation to you the listener, if you could chose the final memory that you meditate on before you transition to a state where you want to get to access these memories anymore

if you were expecting to be passing over, passing through is there a time a place a moment that was so filled with grace, so filled with beauty that you’d wan to anchor in to that feeling, that would be the quality of spirit, for the life you had, what would that be, maybe write it down

I woke up in the middle of the night and wrote this as a love poem, shared it with the personal involved, charming endearing, depicts a moment you’d like to carry with you into eternity

could interpret in emo goth way

people spend a lot of time making horror movies in imagination about death

for me, ongoing until this moment is upstaged by a different moment, if I’m fearing death, if I’m being killed, if I’m dying I’ll want to remember this moment

Tiny Bamboo Hut Love

i remember the feeling of timeless cosmic perfection that was ambient as we embraced under the moon lit gaps in the roof of my tiny bamboo hut. turning my head to see her shadowy profile, i sipped the pristine dark beauty of her smile with my eyes, and with silent excitement i studied the statuesque shape of her ear and thought to myself she could have been the buddhas mother, the ancient serenity of pure natural love made me wish to stay in this state of sensual “beditation” forever. for the first and only time i could imagine what it would be like to be an immortalized ascended being, floating in the ether, gazing into the stars, singing sacred verses and chants learned ages ago from many past embodied lifetimes in primitive and advanced cultures from distant planets. together with my beloved consort, freed from the limits of the flesh, but granted the boon of everlasting access to the quantum impression left by one of our most blessed earthly moments. the mystics say you will be seduced by demons who control the gates of the bardo with fears, doubts, and distractions at the moment of death, but if you can hold in your heart and your mind’s eye, a vision of pure loving transcendence, then they by divine law the demons, your demons, will be forced to drop their swords, kneel and bow to you as you transcend the cycle of samsara and earn your place among the gods. don’t wait to your last day on earth to build your transcendent visionary meditation, hold the vision everyday they say. and i say, my ticket to fly high into the divine realms, is the memory of that moment, beholding her with all of my kind attention and adoration, under the moon lit gaps in the roof of my tiny bamboo hut, nestled into a garden, a garden nestled into a concrete jungle, a concrete jungle nestled into a coastline, a coastline nestled into a continent, a continent nestled into an ocean, an ocean nestled into a planet, a planet nestled into a solar system, a solar system nestled into a galaxy, a galaxy nestled into a yoniverse, a yoniverse nestled into our love, our love nestled into a magic shroom trip

Ben Tantra Punk in the Garden in front of the Pond

Escaping the Matrix and Living the Dream of Wild Romance TPP244

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In this episode I share an important announcement that I’ve fallen in love with a land project and will be living the dream of romance with the wilderness

My Non-Verbatim Show Notes:

working on a land project

from now on daily reports, maybe stack them up if their short

my state of nature to be in the hills, the forest, the trees

most actualized life chapters, where I’ve been blessed to serve gaia and some sort of wealthier than me matriarch of a peace of property

there’s often been a romance novel cover mystique going on

i’ve been an ecological gigolo to some extent, luckily not the situation now

hasn’t always worked out the best

now clearing up karma, and maturing, and growing up stuff, more aware of red flags

in twilight of 30s feeling, this is the next best chapter

peaks and valleys of life

peaks when out there, feeling free, devotion to nature spirits, deep listening to the will of the ancestors of the land

i’m a paint brush for the land, soil repair, soil building, interdimensional source of healing, being a bandage on the land

in harmony with the human needs, the land needs, the soil needs,

social permaculture design, dabbling feng shui,

i really feel the energy flows when there is order brought to the disorder

the disorder of junk and clutter and generations agricultural paradigm shifting, so many different hazards, and decaying and rotting materials, really becomes a meditation to keep the surface of your skin intact, when you’re harvesting scavenged materials, when you’re gathering and macguevering, and a-teaming up a design

beautiful multidimensional, fully immersive art project, those are the peaks

the valleys are the times when i have to do the daily grind in the city, which i have been doing, almost full time, mostly urban permaculture installation work with various crews, in that sense morale is always dragging, its great to have solidarity, working for clients, seeing the transformation, flipping lawns to gardens

nudging the paradigm slowly, being the flagship project in suburban neighborhoods, it’s fulfilling and rewarding, more than most jobs

been blessed to work with super flexible and gracious teams,

understanding of LA traffic and respect for need for autonomy

crews have been so grateful for my help, and flexible with my schedule

installing drought tolerant native plants, sculpting land for rainwater catchment, all different techniques applied to make a site more sustainable, but at the end of the day, we’re still installing pvc, still using toxic glue that kills your brain, there’s this juxtaposition of the conventional paradigm, and the ancient futuristic permaculture paradigm, i strongly dislike to be such a purist radical, but i want to be doing this work and this play and this art in a more taoistic sense, not treading so hard on the earth, not just blazing in, what’s expected as contractors,

the hustle, the life of the contractor, cheep beer, nightly ejaculation, coffee every day, junk food

i want to be the barefoot gardener, who listens to the plant, doesn’t use any toxic material, re-use materials on site, an artisan approach

it’s a huge luxury because few people want to pay for workers to work slow

being a worker, whether your boss is an angel or demon, i’ve been very blessed

but it kills my soul not to be working for myself

at the end of every day you’re back to square one, making very little progress on your own property or your own garden

it’s draining and demoralizing

i’ve been very frugal, so that i can save and hodl crypto and to the hodl plus strategy from the bitcoin podcast, you’re not spending frivolously on anything, cutting expenses to the bone so you don’t have to sell off, do good by your future self, let your days be gifts to your future self, dollar cost averaging, stacking sats, always adding to your stash of whatever fraction of bitcoin you squirrel away for the future

assuming the overall uptrend is going to continue

on and off about 15 years I go from working for other people on their sites on their projects, just doing a daily grind to having way more spacious freedom to put all of my effort into a single site which feeds me, which shelters me if possible, which serves the intent and mission of the owner of the property, where you feel like a samurai gardener, I’m a landless peasant in the grand scheme of things, but when I can break free of daily grind of traffice, and commuting, but be steeped in an ecosystem where one day builds on the next

you develop this map of all the materials, where the plants are where the water flows, what the neighbors are like, what local sources of seeds and compost, and it becomes a grand theater

as adventurous as any video game ever was, the holistic fulfillment of it, moments where things really snap together is way beyond a video game, it’s not virtual reality its reality

you get to have heart opening, experience

every time you bump into a new plant or critter you hadn’t noticed and you get to study their beauty and no one tells you your slacking off cuz your vibing with a creature

tarot card reading, spoiled to take a step away from steady pay check, leap of faith, but knowing it’s the right thing for my soul to be focusing doing what I know best

this time under far better sexual political dynamics

its been a huge problem in the past

what do you call the drummer who breaks up with his girl friend, homeless

build karma, not destroy it

a lot to appreciate, significance of transition

it’s the bug out location, I’ve been living in bug out mode

prepper’s have a language of bug out bags, bugging in, bugging out

dug in for another round of zombie apocalypse training camp survival paradise, lots of fun

forest garden of eden music video as archival footage/portfolio/demo reel of my permaculture projects

shows the timeline of my evolution, urban, suburban, rural projects

feel like it’s the crown chakra of a career, feeling like I won the game, of course it’s just another level and the game continues, but you finish a level and you’re on to a new one, really in resonance with life energy

not as much of a horny whipper snapper

dakini said you go from testosterone arousal to oxytocin arousal cycle

I’d rather just do me tonight, I don’t feel pressure to go out and get laid somewhere, never successful at hooking up, never had a one-night stand

all that is to say, I’m still not interested in settling down with a woman, but settling down with the land, without feeling like a loser if not getting laid every night

many years of involuntary celibacy, I had no game
some blame I could point at those who traumatized me, but have to point at myself for not manning up sooner

dakini says you’re shifting your sex drive towards oxytocin

20 years of holding up a “Free Boners” sign, eventually had to take it down because it’s all gone, if you didn’t jump on it, it’s gone

a woman’s got to put in effort to turn me, because it’s not like it’s my first rodeo and I’m going to have a panic attack, because “it’s actually happening”

thinking about coming of age, a woman’s body is an enigma during puberty, a woman’s body is like a ufo, it’s that alien

then it’s a balance after you’ve been deflowered, do you get spoiled, do you take it for granted, do you lose that awe, and honor and respect?

Twins movie, cynical line about how virgins respect women, then lose it once they become players

hitting the nerve of the tragic sense, in the words of Garth Algar, I’m no longer a stranger to the ways of the woman or something to take effect, how long do you retain that sense of awe and wonder

I feel like it’s been painful, but a healthy balance to go through this life mostly celibate

I told myself the other day, no matter what women did, how long it lasted, how it ended, at least you know that you told the women you love that you love them, that’s all you can do

there’s always a list of people you’re chasing, and people who’re chasing you, people you’re running from and running to

Kenneth Ray Stubs on the podcast said to the effect of, when I was younger I was too horny to meditate, it took until I was older to be able to do the advanced spiritual practices

Growing up I didn’t catch the jokes about men’s waning virility, now they sting when I watch movies where those jokes were made

the first lost erection feeling like a transmission drops, WTF!

Was making love, pretty stoned, it could have been that, but at the age of 35, what’s wrong with me, I’m not feeling completely mind blown, lost the youthful sense of 100% immersion in electrifying stimulation, maybe we lost the spark, but it was unexpected because my lingam had never been uncooperative before, never been asexual but had to imagine that’s the feeling of dissociation from the actualized

then there’s the coolidge effect, men become sugar daddies to younger women, older women become cougars to younger men

I didn’t intend for this podcast to go this direction but it’s on point because, you can’t leave the city if you’re still chasing women, because you can’t see beyond the weekend

the need to get off, the compulsion to ejaculate, the compulsion to not be alone, to not be single, the horrific discontent to not be in a relationship

dating apps hamster wheel, slot machine crank of dating apps, mining old friends to see if their single yet, all consuming, ego self esteem, hormones

luckily I never was too spoiled, definitely still women who make the “shwing effect” happen like clock work, so it’s not game over, but it’s an interesting limbo state of I’m still extremely passionate I still feel a lot of eros, but it’s less hormonal and it’s more of an oxytocin mode, so the way women want to feel emotional attention that’s what turns me on, often that’s the gripe and why tantric men are in demand because the should be able to speak to the heart

in early days, of man I’ve got blueballs, or I’m going to prematurely ejaculate, a man is trying to calm himself down and meet the shakti, shakti can be raging like a stormy sea, but you gotta be the storm that creates the waves of shakti, bring the energy in

now I feel more like a woman
not interested in having drunk unsafe hook up sex, jealous that I missed out, but not interested any more

turned down a lot of sex in the last few years, we need to spend time designing a designer way to share energy and practice sex magic

not all women have the patience for developing a deep practice

now with a bit of financial security, ability to grow and compound financial permaculture and financial continence

deeper practice in resonance with the tao

in order to garden safely, or safer, not getting scratched, so many hazards, staff infection, getting sliced up, bundling raw garlic into gauze, blazing through, same energy approaching women

it’s a beautiful sweet spot to have some savings, make a property profitable and pay for itself, do sweat equity, multiple value and revenue streams, things start as a trickle, like a spring, a tiny drip, you can do a bit of earth works and store more water

financial healing, establishment of wealth and a slower more mature, more mid lifey kind of energy and approach

I think this is gonna be a good decade, a new way of inhabiting the body, more taoist and slower paced way of working on a land project

do the best permaculture, some people say don’t do anything on the land until a year of pure observation, just meditate and watch patterns

they say 99 hours of design and 1 hour work, verse 1 hour of design and 99 hours of work

the yield you get from more observation, you have a deeper more expansive diverse way to get the most elegant solution

kick down fertility system, one animal’s output because input for another

never before have I had such grace walking a piece of land where I can just move very slowly
in emergencies and disasters you do have to hustle, but if you don’t rush and you don’t run, and you’re not hustling daily, you really have a million times less chance of injury, and breaking things, tripping, hurting someone else, spilling something, over pouring something, every clumsy cartoon thing, it always comes from that financial knife at your back,just digging into you, I need to hustle to finish this job because it’s by the job and not hourly, or I need to be busy because everyone else is busy

its not healthy, it’s not sane, it’s super dangerous

chronic backpain, usually manageable, use some yogic practice

this will be the year of me developing an “on the mat” asana practice, up to now I’d rather being doing combative dancing

haven’t felt called after many exposures to different teachers of “yoga”, but I probably will be doing it more, probably realizing I have been missing out, time to get on the mat to get the benefits of that practice, looking forward to that, all comes back to feeling less rushed, less of a hustle

entrepreneur pushes boulder uphill, the wage earner is running on a hamster wheel

you push the boulder uphill moonlighting, and it slides back down while you’re on the day job hamster wheel, not many get the boulder cruising down the other side of the slope

most people lose their ass for 5 years before they turn a profit, you should be prepared

a lot of gratitude I have for this opportunity, hopefully not having to rush and hustle and speed around and be dangerous, I think I can swing it so there’s a nice balance of going back to work in the city and top off supplies and accounts until I get to a point where there’s a functioning business model producing revenue

glad to document via the podcast, not going to start out with video teaching, not trying to keep up with the Jones’ on social media

after a humble paleo meal of canned and jarred food at the low end of the health food market, no grain, no dairy, no added sugar, I can do a podcast update

hope not to offend vegans, vegetarians, it didn’t work for me, I still have hell to pay, I feel better, body works better, long standing conditions that are not pleasant that most people have, allergies, weak immune system I feel like I’ve strengthened, I feel better now than I did in my 20s

become a bit of a home brewer, its not a vice but it’s a moderate pleasure that I indulge in, holistic debauchery

luckly weened off cheap beer, never really like being drunk, really didn’t like being hung over

falling in love with home brew fermentation, participating with a biological process, gardening the process, it’s a beautiful thing, it’s a blessing, helps to get through some of the lonelier nights, and helps me be intoxicated with the love of the goddess

incel in the flesh, but blessed in the astral realms with dakinis, the romance of the goddess

nice to have some party favors and ritual elements that help to open the 3rd eye and the heart, losing the inhibitions towards the divine feminine sex goddesses, enjoying a more private more solo practice, not feeling the sharp pain of missing the party on friday night, missing the opportunity to socialize and make an appearance, collecting phone numbers

I don’t think there’s a way to avoid it, for me and most men, you’re gonna feel pressure, I dont’ know about next generation, porn and video games causing apathy towards sex, but anyway no way for me to talk about gardening with out talking about sex goddesses, and porno, etc.

intention to refine the masculine energy to put it to work on something constructive

I often think of the feeling, of being on my knees, putting care planting a nursery potted plant, I’m creating its home in the soil, doing this yoni puja this breast massage, that’s the Mr Miyagi, wax on wax off, that’s the permaculture tantra, what I would be teaching my teenage son if I had one. I have a duty of care for people coming of age who discover my work.

I gotta think responsibly about the Deenagers

Gardening as a pathway of restorative justice for sex offenders, a way to train sacred sexuality

Better to be a warrior in a garden, than a gardener in a war

a lot of sex education to be gleaned form a permaculture training experience

the 9th form of capital, sexual permaculture thesis, designing for the energy sector of sexuality in a way that is post-monogamy, post-theological control, post-shame, post-guilt, post-patriarchy, getting to more of a sex at dawn paradigm

always made a joke of about a nude permaculture design course

doesn’t have to be a silly joke, there’s nude yoga

there is a place where this hippy, free love, LSD 60s sexual revolution, now there’s more deeper connection to shamanism, tantra, and permaculture

more intelligence with ecology

people are opening up with relationships, more influenced by tantric practices, despite distractions of social media, video games, and porn, there’s quite a refinement of the seed forms of the 60s

on that trajectory of what was started with my parents, they weren’t the wildest party animals but they were on point with back-to-land projects/training centers

things are evolving

it makes me think about 2012, I was a 2012-er, hard not to be after all the Terrence McKenna, that was a huge pressurized urgent, move fast and break things, that can be very dangerous in a horticultural landscape, we got through it,

I tried to accomplish a lot, I developed the ability to lead by example, I don’t feel the need to tell other people how to live

I think I can be content with this oxytocin based sex drive, with really delicate and deliberate romantic cadence

integrating gardening, heart gardening

I’ve tried to involve lovers in the process, some have been on board, others not

Always tried to seduce women into the garden space, to have them fall in love with the plants and the soil and become as clinging and needed to the land as much as my heart or cock

May only the greenest and purest of hearts and souls and minds be a part of my dark green magic from here on out

I have the blessing to play my cards right and put in my best efforts

Try to live by the 4 agreements, hopefully the problems to have will get better and better and the solutions will as well

learning to study patterns, ala the Permaculture Designer’s Manual

spend a night on youtube watching permaculture videos

Bill Mollison and David Holmgren, developed the design science, it’s like a bundled package of ecology and anthrology, engineering, earth sciences, economics, an amazing array of interdisciplinary approach to sustainable human settlement design, zero waste, there’s a lot to unpack

the simple way I can put it, whereas Ted K. went into the words and became coercive, Bill M decided to apply the wisdom of the forest and fight back with positivism, designer ecologies that function as elegant and efficient as a forest

it’s movement, sometimes think it’s elitist, its not religious, it’s not ideological, it’s scientific

if you’re gonna be an architect you’re going to have to learn all kinds of different roles and laws of how things work

we’re building civilizations with toxic materials, slaves, requires wars, and all kind of hell, we could be building our settlements according to design principles of nature

making sure there’s zero waste

you could live in a designer forest where everything that you placed in that designer forest is useful or beneficial, food, fiber, fodder

hydrates, seeds, extends itself

use the template of the wild forest, in that template you plug in edibles, medicinals, benefit that plants, animals, the soil, agro forestry is another term

not square gardens of patches and rows, not fields, not orchards, not monocrop

that’s the least efficient, most lethal and toxic

Just like Bruce Lee, Jeet Kune Do, bringing stuff together

There’s no other game in town, it’s an open source technology, not controlled by a central entity, it’s a decentralized movement by design

saw a beautiful luscious wild RABBIT, seemed quite healthy, I got a sense from seeing it that it was very happy and healthy

cackling of COYOTES in all directions

SQUIRRELS scurrying about

a shiny LADY BUG, unmistakable red dot, always a reminder to my analogy about the goddess Kali as a beneficial predator that helps you control the garden pests, as above so below, as within so without

found a big sprawling cuban oregan plant, respect to the Sunset Nursery for supplying my first plant, my favorite local nursery

CUBAN OREGANO like a succulent, big juicy flaps, meaty, has texture

lone BLACK SOLDER FLY larvae, made a new compost bin for it, affinity as the smokey ash black reminds me of my encounters of the dark goddess

ROSEMARY BUSH

Bromance with lead designer/land keeper, holism, spirituality, martial arts, being fuck yeah stoked about everything you’re vibing on, whether biking or skating or punk shows or girls, the excitement and enthusiasm for working together in a really harmonious way, playing fort, having that be doing this really fun stuff and trying to be productive and profitable, and create value, community, and education

Don’t like the word retreat, would rather be making an advance, what if Burning Man and the Rainbow Gathering happened at Occupy Wall street?…

The word retreat is not my favorite word for spiritual gatherings or workshop gatherings, for lack of a better word, we’re both on that path of building a robust spiritual holistic, regenerative tool set, guinea pigging things on our selves, battle test our immune systems, our diets, not just lead by example but all take on clients

my dual life as a sort of renaissance sex worker of sorts, don’t know what to call myself now, sort of artisan, somewhere between a professional and hobbyist in that realm

this is a place where my dear brothers could circle up for some deep men’s work

don’t want to be a cult leader, taking extreme precaution from becoming a cult of personality

precluding that possibility is a part of design

excess manure is lethal poison if not designed to integrate in a dispersed manner to feed the soil

music icons vs cult leaders

ethics and responsibility of meme producers

its all about rotation, it’s all about decentralization, the term is an ensemble cast that’s the solution to patriarchy, to dictatorship, share the love share the power, share the influence, know when to delegate, know when to lift other people up above you, I’m gonna try my best, by all means accept feedback, look at shadow

I left the same work crew in 2014 to go to the northwest to live out the dream of romance with a piece of property

When I left Babylon then, my dear eco-bro said, “Do Good”, so I’m gonna try to do good again this time

Permaculture or tantra, like ida and pingala, they’re complimentary

Ixchel Sandivel in the forest

Seeking the Soul of Local Tantric Energy with Reverend Priestess Sandivel TPP240

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In this episode I’m joined by iX-Chel

For a conversation about what she’s been up to of late, her new insights into male sexual continence and energy cultivation, her thoughts on sex workers’ empowerment, her upcoming retreat, and much more!

About iX-Chel:

Reverend Priestess Sandivel, best known as iX-Chel Sandivel, is an intimacy mentor and guide. An Elite Tantra Educator and former Nike Elite Sponsored Runner, she was born in Mexico City and raised in Southern California. She is passionate about creating safe and expansive experiences that allow the human spirit to evolve with ecstatic awareness, confidence and self-love through her mentorship programs, personalized retreats in the tropical jungles of Mexico and playshop events all over the world.

Though movement practices, cultural experience, tantric breathing techniques and ceremonies, Sandivel supports others to discover a profound, ever lasting and orgasmic love within.

Adoring the Beloved Within: www.sandivel.com/retreat

Zanzibar

Heartfelt Honoring of Diverse Eco-Femininisms with Zanzibar TPP238

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In this episode I’m joined by my dear friend Zanzibar!

About Zanzibar:

Zanzibar is a para-activist, tropho-autonomist donacrat who has participated in sissi-fraternal, progressional sociopercolation for decades. A dedicated Gaiaolatrat and femineurorevolutionary, glomp* has cotextured the trance-linguistics of metre and assonance over great calendrical longitudes. Glomp is a standing-wave emergence from anonymity who shelters in polywombic noir.

 

Ben and Joan Rivers building a chicken coup

Coronavirus, Joan Rivers, and The Princess Bride TPP235

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In this episode I tell an epic survival romance story to commemorate victims of the coronavirus and urge folks to do their best to prepare for this and all threats to their survival…

Please listen to this episode for practical preparedness tips:
Basic Preparedness and the Prepping Pyramid TPP246

My (non-verbatim) Show Notes: 

2012 respected consultant on emergency and disaster preparedness and permaculture design

my partner and I landed a well paid gig for permaculture /preparedness survival make over for Joan Rivers’ Joan Know’s Best reality tv show, rest in piece, rest her soul, amazing important wise elder matriarch of the entertainment industry

honor and blessing to work very closely with her, for that day of shooting, brought out big stake truck, moved our chicken tractor, and mini pond, and mini herb spiral, faux backyard permaculture set up

there had been an earthquake in la, mild but enough to feel it, a few things fall of the wall, they might have captured footage of it during the reality tv show filming, the producers after that real earthquake said, we should actually do a subplot within an episode on disaster preparedness, what it would look like for Joan, daughter and grand son to do an emergency prep process

they had a scene showing they needed batteries for flash lights, doing intuitive inventory of what you need to survival, if there was a disruption of systems of support, critical services cut off, would you be able to render your own first aid, provide food water shelter clothing, they got footage of the family going through the motions seeing how unprepared they were

they went to an amazing local survival equipment wholesaler/retailer, it was like disney land for preppers, they were a company they supplied first aid kits, fire extinguishers, water storage tanks, tools, camping gear, I could go on, their catalog was like porn for me, you go in there and wish you could buy everything, just want to live there, if you were an employee and shit hit the fan you’d be stoked, they should have had guns though, maybe someone should establish a gun store right next door to defend it in a shift hit the fan

so I was living out this romance novel story out on this land, peak of a man’s love life, beautiful romance, crashed and burned in a very archetypal and mythical the arch of the whole relationships, set foot on her property to establish permaculture systems which she had wanted for years, just didn’t have the right person to help, there was an opportunity she put out to the spiritual community that she had this land and wanted to make it productive, I hit her up and said this is what I’ve been trained to do and I’d be happy just to have a place to pitch a tent

it was the end of 2011, lots of 2012 energy, wow if I could be bugged out on some land in the mountains where you’re tucked away in the wood lands, less zombie pressure, higher income bracket, going from where I was at the time, when I met her I had been doing an urban survival permaculture training center garden, I built on top of an parking lot at a big punk warehouse artist colony venue

I developed the rugged outdoor survival life style, in the middle of south central la, surrounded by gangs

I wasn’t trying to scam on her, wasn’t hitting on, it just kinda happened, I was attracted, I respected her, she was almost 20 years older, loved the heck out of her, we did beautiful things together

I was grateful to get the fuck out of the urban center, it was sweet spot, in the mountains, but sill close enough to the city to do gigs and stay in my band

but I wanted to live on the land focus on the land, first building my little camp, sproutables as stable food, I still have embarrassing footage of documenting the projects as they went along

as I got my camp established I started to make a masterpiece out of the land, did the permaculture design, set up composts, garden beds, earth works

this was my dream, that I had been cooped up literally in urban projects, now I got to have this giant canvas

I was filled with love and light, and at the peak of virility

I can’t help getting into the romance, we had this banter, it was quite charming

very much the as you wish, sweet wesley, princess butter cup, princess bride kinda thing she’s like a millionairess, owning her property, in a house that she built with her ex-husband, and with their ill-fated marriage and divorce left her with the house all to herself

a shamanic priestess in her own right, I was drawn for the ceremonial opportunities happening there

at one point she had been developing feelings for me, I begun my tantric path and was resolute in being open and non monogamous, doing long trial periods and setting up agreements where we put leases on each other’s bodies, not just permanent access, it’s gonna be metered out and we’re gonna hold true to contracts

that’s not the most romantic part of the story, sorry that’s my virgo, living and learning hard lessons of getting trapped in toxic relationship situations

she was thrilled to see her property come to life, thrilled clip fresh greens, harvest chicken eggs, she was a crack chef, holistic lavish parties

she was healing, in a cycle of healing with some issues that forced her to stop working, she was really actually, for me to come in there at a time where she had so much liquid capital for so many decades of her professional career, and I get there, having come out of the south central punk ghetto, having really figured out survival, minimalism, living outside, I had just come out of that sort of self imposed ranger school if you will, in some ways very extreme and comparable to that, in some ways I’m doing a disservice to ranger school graduates by saying that

I had seen of the colony reality show seasons, sophisticated social experiments, group of volunteers, strangers, with skill sets, put into social experiment of urban survival post disaster, constructed scenario, global pandemic outbreak, they were put into a survival theme park, they peppered in all these different tools and supplies and equipment, had to ration food, solar power, water purification, latrine, living quarters, defend perimeter, it was like a survival obstacle course staged by the producers, of course they hyped the sexual drama and politics, lots of stage, but overall done very well, really brought out patriarchal douche bag in one of the characters, they probably played it up but this guy played a real jerk, if they had a yogi there and they got that guy chilled the fuck out they would have been happier

I was fresh off the urban survival experience and watching the colony season, I wanted to put myself through that, the experience of deprivation, like a full time drill, I was on extremely tight budget, I was very very very poor financially, that was part of the drill, it made it all work

she was brought down to my level even though she owned property, the cost of heating that place, the water bill, commuting, family expenses, it was stress inducing, so for me to be able to come in there with very sophisticated simple and elegant techniques for living frugality, eating sprouts every night, and what I called ben feed, own trail mix, not paleo and bad for teeth and gut though, thought it was great that was no added sugar, but too much carb and dried fruit sugar, so not the best wisdom at that stage, but able to subsist

sprouting grains and legumes make them healthier, less toxic, less carbs

so between fresh chicken eggs every morning, fresh greens and herbs eventually fruits and some berries

I pretty much brought sustenance to her from my humble 5 gallon buckets and mylar bags, I was nourishing her and providing for her and at that everyday it was like farm boy fetch me a bowl of sprouts, as you wish

it led to a moment where she was commiserating with a couple of fellow elder priestesses about her empty love life, and I walk by them, when they saw me and they heard her talking about her woes, they said that’s your man, he’s right here on your doorstep

when we sat together and talked love the first time, I said, something to the effect that I’m like a reference book at the library, you have to share me

another thing she said was that she did test me though, there was an epic project that had to be and I knocked it out for her, and that was part of it too

also she said she fell in love with me when she saw me leading a group of other men repairing her teepee,

she seemed to have been sniffing out the alpha pheromone, though I’m not overtly alpha in terms of being agro or competitive

I felt it for her and she felt it for me, and it was negotiated to be openish, we had a sacred contract ultimately for a period of months of monogamy

we were successful, she was the sales and marketing and spokes model and I was the inventor, builder, introverted, designer, not people person

she was extraverted, our videos still exist where you can see how charming she is

it was the peak of our romance and success together, me building my wares and her selling them, legally registered by new cottage food law

cottage food paradigm shift

we were one of the first, we were rockin, had permaculture workshops, I was in the process of starting an officially recognized permaculture design course with a novel at-your-own-pace format for low income people

we had meet ups, workshops, other instructors coming in, weddings, we sold 150 amaranth seedlings to a wedding production as wedding gifts to all the attendees, can’t imagine how prolific those plants have been, amaranth is my spirit plant

glorious achievements, romance novel come to life

we started going to classes at that survival equipment store, I got my first aid training there, we went there together

we also did the cert training at the local fire station together

we were getting into tactical permaculture, vision of creating seed pellets to be used in airsoft guns so that you would know by what was planted where the kill zones were, better avoid where all the wild flowers were clustered

we had a legitimate, top tier tactical training marksman involved with the project, we started to draft out the ultimately survival permaculture tactical theme park design, motes, edible perimeter defense like sugar cane, blackberries, imagine stick fighting training with sugar cane, or chewing on your night stick while being a warrior defending your goddess temple community, sugar cane staff, for a bit of extra blood sugar if you need to run or fight, imagination runing wild, but it was starting to happen, archery, martial arts training gear, kicking post in the office, talk about warrior goddess temple, permaculture goddess temple, the whole 9 yards, a lot of people have beautiful memories of the time as well, it was epic

so we had started to work with the survival store, and one of our sex magic rituals yielded the mascot of the brand I had established years ago

she had to reel me in and tone done my zombie apocalypse rhetoric, she advised some re-edits on my basic preparedness manual to take out the zombie talk, smoothed out the edges so she could see to other high class soccer moms

I rebranded a more family friendly business card, and the survival store had the business card on their bulletin board, her handy work of getting the business card out to people

so the Joan River’s production crew searched for survival training, found the store, went there and asked if they do home consulting/installation, I believe they said no, but oh here’s this business card from those nice friendly homesteader folks that shop here and trainer here, so they gave the production staff the business card

we got a call, I didn’t even know who Joan River’s was, I think she got the call, and she seemed keyed up, of course Joan has a big place in my heart since space balls, but I didn’t know her name

she was like hey they want to pay us to do this thing on the show, there were some things they were pushing on that I thought would be poor representation, I was worried that we’d be made fun of, make a joke of, and my colleagues would tear me apart of I miss represented the art and science to the masses, preppers and permies can be pretty vicious in terms of political correctness, and one-upmanship, ego bullshit,

but I decided to go along with it, nothing was a huge violation of the principles and science, one thing I really didn’t like but let it slide

I don’t think I’ll burn in hell for selling out

the shoot went well, the chemistry was great, we lucked out, because it was 50/50 if we were gonna be the laughing stock, if you’re Joan Rivers’ laughing stock and she’s gonna bully you mercilessly with her lines, you’d have to have thick skin, I expected since were the crazy wingnut survival freaks, doing this backyard makeover

ultimately it worked out well, in our favor, because the whole series was that Joan had moved in with her daughter to drive her crazy and try to control her life with her humor and divaness, that was the premise of the whole show

it worked in our favor because Joan was authentically on board with us, she got it, she asked about our backgrounds, I said I’ve been a survivalist since I was on the street as a young teenager, saw dark things and had to learn to survive

and my partner grew up more holistic, ranch, rustic, agricultural life, farmer relatives, americana

we clicked so Joan even said you look good together, the most golden compliment you can ever get, what can’t you do if you can impress Joan river’s visually that was a huge compliment all thought one of her staff thought I was my partner’s son, lots of funny moments

they have a whole day of footage and only use a few minutes

so joan hires us to do the consultation and backyard make over and she’s thrilled and gung ho to have us appear to be tearing up the lawn, we’re going to be growing vines all over the place, build a chicken run, turn the pool into a living edible natural pond and fish farm, and so the great thing was that joan was totally on board with everything and stoked and gung ho, and the antagonism was with her daughter

the lines that joan said I couldn’t have paid her a trillion dollars to say, about when the shit hits the fan the neighbors are gonna be lined up down the block to get my eggs, we’re gonna be sustainable, and she was sincere, she was old enough to have a clue about self sufficiency and hard times

it was a beautiful experience, here we are now years later, 8 years later, no longer in that relationship, no longer on the property, I can only hope since we parted was in a pretty ugly meltdown, I love to hope we’d be able to not rekindle but reminisce on what was mostly good

it was pretty acute collapse at the very end after wild success in love and business and the sky being the limit, if what we did for joan rivers was good enough for her even as a joke that’s a pretty good endorsement, we did we teach for the local government emergency committees

got a business loan, we had a mascot, a brand, we were selling buckets of survival food, sprouting kits, trainings, its damn shame, it all comes down to monogapathic behavior, she could follow the letters of our agreement which gave me freedom to be a healer

I told her I was gonna be a yoni worshiper and healer and that’s my path and training before we met, and you’re gonna have to come to terms with that, it doesn’t mean that I’m even that I’m having sex with anyone I may be touching people they may be touching me, that’s where I really fine tuned my deal with women, looking at what are the actually permanent irreversible risks to having an open relationship, incurable stis, sexually transmitted infections, that’s the only permanent way of affecting negatively a primary partner that you have, you’ll heal a broken heart, you’ll get over feeling upstaged and deprioritized, if there’s longevity and strength and security in the relationship, everything else that’s emotional you’ll heal from even it seems so traumatic, what you can’t escape from is incurable stis, to me I say, my deal is like look what we have to design around is that one thing and we can have our hearts open as wide as we want, and our legs spread and our pants off, to the world of everyone else, as long as we understand and acknowledge that how much faith do we really place in just using condoms, do we have boundaries around outercourse, or dry sex, or non fluid bonded sex, there’s ways to intelligently avoid the risk of stis, I know this breaks some hearts, and there were times when I was not willing to reciprocate this in my younger life, but by then I had realized the beauty and the nourishment of a diverse sexual, romantic, and sensual cornucopia of lovers, and patients and clients for healing, and friends, and the idea that would sacrifice all of that to keep one person from losing their mind, it was a horrific melt down of her feeling like she was losing me and losing control of me, I take full responsibility for what I did that was inappropriate, immature, not of high moral character in the process of how this went down,

we would still be friends, we would still together I would still be on that land, still be taking care of the trees I planted, all the life I brought to that land, I would still be stewarding that and would still be in her words the man of the land and we’d still be living happily ever after

I was showing her through my permitted actions what I needed to be happy, fulfilled, and doing my dharma

it came down to one moment that really shifted for me when I started to really branch out, it wasn’t because I was bored with her or sick of her

there was a video that was shot, my experience of modeling for a camera to do tantric session work with a total stranger to me in that day, when I saw myself in that footage, I’m not vane at all I have the least vanity about my appears, I feel unphotogenic, and as JS said, I have a face made for radio,

its not just oh im shy about it, I really break the lens from a lot of angles and I know that, I design my content with that in mind, its not like oh I need to be a star now but when I saw the video, tantra for couples using the five sense

I saw the energy, the level of focus, such a fan of Jean Claude Van Damme, loved his controlled, metered, measured, self contained manner, from spiritual practice and martial arts practice, the refined shiva healing energy you could see it in the grace of my movements

I may not be a 10 on the surface, with big muscles, perfect teeth, perfect smile, photogenic, a-list actor material, that didn’t matter, I could consider myself a 6 on the surface and what was beneath the surface was resonating and emanating so beautifully to my soul, I can really do this work and have it be really compelling, this really does confirm that this is my calling and my path, and remain open

I’ve never cheated, I’ve prenegotiated or precommunicated my intentions, ended one relationship before having sex with a new person, I’ve cheated emotionally if you want to use that dirty word that id on’t like at all, I’ve indulged myself in pleasures with other people emotionally that I didn’t communicate or invite my current primary partner to be a part of and for them to wonder about that was painful for them, still not technically a cheater, I have not hooked up with someone and had sexual intercourse with them without previously ended the relationship before them, I have that gold star on my shoulder for not being a cheater,

but she was not gonna go by the original agreements that we had even though I was not willing to renew the sacred contract, she could have had her take and ate it too, it was just really sad, if she would have been able to share tiny slices of the cake with the understanding that I would not be jeopardizing her health, and that I could have the discipline either not to do anything that could involve transmission of stis, or have barriers, or have testing done, there’s just so many ways that you can navigate that one ultimate deal breaker and there was just no negotiation whatsoever, so it melted down in a very rapid and ugly manner, maybe some day she’ll be on the podcast to ball break me back on that

it was a power couple par excellence, we were doing business together, living together happily, it was really tragic and sad that that happened, I guess this was the time for that story to come out, its relevant to current events because that was the peak of me teaching survival and preparedness, obviously I haven’t stopped living that way since I left, I’ve always maintained ample food, water supplies, first aid, kept healthy and fit, glued to the news, evacuation routes, positioned advantageous in terms of zombies, my career path collapsed losing that space, I still sold some supplies and kits, it really stopped when I had the sexual shamanic spiritual emergency, all that is to say it’s been 8 years since I was at that peak and I have done my solo survival, haven’t been imposing it on people either, roomates, that don’t give a fuck thinks you’re paranoid, every prepper knows what that feels like, family, co-workers, getting people on board its painful for everybody, and it takes those moments of oh there was an earthquake oh shit who do we call, now its time to take him seriously

it’s like you’re crazy paranoid prepper until one moment when the lights go out or there’s a tremor then I’m the savor, whatever, honestly we are like ambulance chasers, its like oh now you’re ready okay what do you have to put on the table, how much money will you put towards buffering this for next time, because it could be the next one big time

so anyone paying attention to the coronavirus outbreak, it will have an official name soon, exposing corruption in government response, digital quarantines, limited by gps, apocalypse 2.0 its crazy, studying this, trying to be ahead of it, maybe I’ll be one of the first to go, you never know, you could be the strongest person, with muscle, and twist an ankle and die in 3 minutes without air, 3 hours without shelter, 3 days without water, 3 weeks without food, 3 months without love

those are your enemies and that is the battlefield, those time frames of conditions that can kill you so I could go at any time, all of my preps could be nullified by anything

but I have done my homework and due diligence, to have a clue and be woke about this stuff

now is the time for people who are having that acute moment of waking up to the vulnerability and all of our taken for granted, normalcy bias, it can’t happen to me

still cognitive dissonance around this virus, I don’t have the medical knowledge to have a strong opinion or a lot of facts to back up any claims about how scared anyone should be where ever they are, I know the places in the world where this is being taken very seriously, that is the sci apcalyptic experience, where everything that preppers do to be ready to either quarantine themselves, or escape the quarantine but do it ethically and go somewhere where you will be ethically quarantining yourself, but to be rounded up in camps is the preppers last, that is the ultimate thing to avoid, you’re subject to rape, search and seizure, being exposed to the virus, exposed to risk of incarceration if you resist or don’t comply, state’s measures are very corrupt

chinese doctor tried to alarm officials of the virus, is now dead of the virus, and was forced by police to sign some fake confession that he was fraudulently alarming the public

there’s been all kinds of fuckery in every country around these kinds of things

I’m not telling anyone to panic, it’s just for me, the modifications that I will make to my lifestyle are pretty minimal because I try to stay away from crowds anyway, I try to do more fist bumps than hand shakes, and when I hear some body snivel or cough I got into a controlled, germaphobic, hypochondriac high alert mode, of don’t touch your face, you can scratch your eye with your knuckle, your knuckle doesn’t touch door knobs, and when you cough and sneeze you can do it in your elbow

I’m not giving medical advice, for myself I look at this and go okay this is cycle of opportunity for me to preach and teach about basic preparedness, I guess what I will do to not be too heavy handed, I’ll put a link in the show notes to the podcast episode I did where I read that basic preparedness manual that has pretty much all of the fundamental procedural building blocks of how you can be better prepared for anything, when the shit hit’s your fan , not the fan

job loss, injury, cut off from income, its not just end of the world event that’s going to force you to institute your procedure and protocols for preparedness It could be something simple

it’s not gonna become the zombie apocalypse show, but it’s the right time to tell that story, so many mythical moments, I loved that woman, I loved that land, for a farm boy like me, that’s as good as it gets, it’s a damn shame the way it went down, but if I’m 80 years old in rocking chair and people ask me what some of the peaks of my life were, I’ll be like well, I’ll tell you story next time there’s a little tiny earthquake that makes you want to prepare for the next one, or next time there’s an outbreak I ‘ve got a story for you, this will be the story I tell

survival and preparedness getting back to the land it can be romantic it can be beautiful it can only get more polyamorous, it can only get less monogapathic, but for all intents and purposes if it was good enough for joan rivers, hopefully what I’m saying is good enough for you, to want to say yeah, what am I gonna wipe my ass with if there’s not a sycamore tree near by and I’m out of toilet paper, how am I going to look at ways to improve and enhance the number of gallons of water that I’m storing on site because a gallon per person for day is a low estimate of what you’d want to have if you were cut off from the main, or the main supply is contaminated, I think it’s worth it to take this moment to really figure out what strategies you may need to have in place

if martial law at any scale or you could just by happenstance, they’re quarantining people now all over the world, different directness of exposure to this virus, for all I know, for all you know, we could find out tomorrow that you were in a place where somebody had a confirmed case, then you’d get a knock on your door, and get taken away, don’t quote me, I’m not making official public service announcements, I take this very seriously, I ain’t going out like that if I can help

like everything else, it too shall pass, but even if it doesn’t graze your life and doesn’t put a dent in your routine, it’s a moment to commemorate

how often do you put yourself through the meditation of lights out, food supply cut off, income cut off, possibly being injured, possibly being infected, being affected by a war zone, unexpected disruptions in all that you take for granted on a daily basis

if you meditate on the vedic pantheon, you should also meditate on shitting hitting the fan, and shit hitting your fan

there was a guy who was the closest thing to a purple breathing hippie yoga master tantric on the survival podcast

there’s an anti-woo-woo bias, as you can imagine by the more conservative, libertarian, and to some extent more christian ranks of the survival movement, yet there is this interesting interplay of the bush hippie and jar head, the bromance, I’m in that dance

but there was this hardcore survivalist prepper yogi on the survival podcast, I’ll be reaching out to that guy

this coronavirus is a catalyst to do your drills, check your inventory, audit your physical preps and your plans, your protocols and procedures, and just be ready for things to get possibly worse, because of this virus or any other viruses, this is just another not so friendly reminder, goddess bless all the souls who’ve already passed from this virus, and let’s do our best not to join them in the big fema camp in the sky

namaste

Brad Amberheart Pic

The Sacred Sexual Healing Path of Gay Tantra Teacher Brad Amberheart TPP233

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In this episode I’m joined by Brad Amberheart

My new gay tantra hero has joined me for a deep exploration of all things gay and tantra. He takes us on a journey through his journey, a cinematic adventure behind the veil and into the inner sanctum of a magical priest of love. I felt lifted out-of-body and into the clouds while experiencing his eloquent narrative of personal evolution, healing, empowerment, transformation, and transcendence.  I was in the perfect mood to shove off the shore of normal waking consciousness to dance within the erotic consciousness of Brad’s historic evolutionary path towards bigger and bigger love.

About Brad:

Brad Amberheart is a Tantric sex coach and erotic workshop facilitator who works primarily with gay men. His primary passion is working 1-on-1 with men who are ready to explore erotic ecstasy as a pathway to a higher understanding of who we are and why we’re here. Brad has also led transformational erotic rituals at international Tantra festivals for people of all genders, including the Hawaii Tantra Festival and the Tantra Love Fest in Glastonbury, UK. Between 2017 and 2020, he wrote more than 120 concepts for conscious evolutionary Gay Sex videos and worked on 7 gay erotic film sets to coach male erotic models in how to convey a deeper sense of heightened sexual freedom and expression on camera. His latest endeavor, as of January 2020, is the launch of his podcast series, Gay Tantra, which is the first podcast series in the world devoted fully to the experiential practice of Tantra, Sexual Magic, and Erotic Mysticism for men who have sex with men. To listen to his podcast, watch his gay erotic videos, or book a Tantric Sex coaching session in person or via video conferencing, please visit bradamberheart.com

 

My (not verbatim) show notes: 

Tantric sex coach, erotic workshop facilitator for gay men, host of gay tantra podcast

Gratitude to tantrapunk podcast for invitation, a month ago, searching for gay tantra podcasts, closest that came up was tantra punk because of interviews with Jason Tantra and others, listened to quite a few podcasts, deeply touched by transcendental eroticism, self pleasuring that encouraged men to cherish our own bodies, and use orgasm for healing

right when just about to contact tantra punk, I got an email we found one another at the same time

sitting in same bedroom in grandmother’s house, live in western north carolina, talking today from home of ancestors, family lived for 5 generations, same cedar tree I decorated with lights over the holidays that was my height when I was twelve, now the same age as me, gigantic cedar tree that I can go in and hide and masturbate if I want to, right in the front yard, I think that’s a good frame work for what I’m about to tell you

grew up in very conservative religious background, lucky enough to have parents that were open sexually, even though 70s, father was deeply wounded emotionally and spiritually by the Vietnam war, I came into a world of turmoil and chaos

parents thought sex was a very important part of life, educated to embrace sex and its beauty

went to church, encouraged to wait until marriage to engage sexually, parents didn’t subscribe to that

even though baptist church, it was quite moderate. The horror stories about fundamentalist religions weren’t a reality

always cared for, always loved

when got into high school, more than before, became problem child

asked questions you’re not supposed to ask

Jesus never got married, how old was he when he did, is there anything in the bible about him having sex with anyone, because you’re not supposed to have sex before marriage, does that mean that Jesus never got to do you want me to die a 33 year old virgin, nailed on a cross

pleaded with youth minister to talk, he looked at me with kind eyes, I feel like a lot of people are asking the questions you’re asking but you’re the only one with courage to ask, I wonder what Jesus’ sex life was like

he got married, after wedding we all looked with longing, maybe he’s getting some now

still what really impressive, miraculously I was not shunned, encouraged to explore curiosity

curiosity is a foundational root of what it means to be on a tantric path

heard of tantra first from sister, she said, have you ever heard that there’s certain guys in the world that instead of ejaculating, they use that energy for other things and have these trippy experiences

didn’t hear the word again for many years, didn’t have sex with anyone all the way from puberty until I was 22 years old, partly because of religious upbringing, and partly because of craving, longing, excitement related to men, attributed it to admiration

if I would see a hunky guy there was a certain excitement

also noticed going on dates with women, it was done from a place of attempting to please relatives, to convince them I was normal

greatest obsession was to study all day saturday, for international science fair, studied sun spots through a telescope every day, instead of having sex

while every body else was exploring sexuality if they were lucky, I was at the library, I was a total nerd

went to church every sunday, even when parents quit going, I was the spiritual leader of the family, always asked to say the prayer

what’s more relevant, I remained disconnected from other people sexually all through college

I was religious but at the same time rebellious

celebrate new years in florida with my cousin

I wonder what jesus’ sex life was life, I’m 22, I don’t really want to die a virgin

willing to find any woman who’d be willing to experiment with me

wasn’t able to find anyone that wanted to go to bed with me

story going on in my mind, maybe people who go to bed with people of same sex was because they couldn’t get in bed with someone of the same sex

the story I got about homosexuality was not pretty, not positive, not encouraging, it was scary

tantra, in retrospect, for all the years that I wasn’t having sex I was pursuing other passions and putting a lot of energy into really creative work

how did I ever get on a tantric path, all the times masturbated by myself, I was on a tantric path, I was harnessing my energy and putting into what I cared about even when I wasn’t having sex

learned how to take self into fits of excitement and ecstasy, at that age I ejaculated a lot, so I found every creative way to shoot my cum all over the place

I became my most devoted and delighted sex partner

I had a lot of fun by myself, didn’t know til in college, most guys masturbate with their hand

I actually found it much more pleasurable to fuck the bed, I would writhe and squirm all over soft sheets and make noises into the pillow, I loved ejaculating onto the sheets, didn’t realize that not everybody did that

cultivating an ecstatic whole body practice

when I did find a willing, exuberant, excited sex partner, the ecstasy I had been cultivating on my own 9 years, was over the top with another human being, on top of a wonderful man’s body in Alaska, marvelous orgasm after orgasm for hours, must have ejaculated 4 or 5 times, I was still 22, now looking back, years of whole body jack off fun by myself became the foundation for years of euphoric sexual bliss with other men

the tantric path made itself known to me, overtly around the year 2000, I was 26 years old, had been in a corporate job for several years, traveling back and forth to Siberia, environmental consult to gold mining companies, had no sex life

Still investing in what I really cared about, didn’t have sex partners other than self

sit in closet, get high smoking pot, get out a stack of porn mags, started to noticed even though all my porn mags had women in them, they also had men, loved to seeing men’s cum, loved seeing to men and woman together, undeniable theme

one night jacking of in the closet by myself and said, wow I live in a city of 100,000 people, there must be someone else out there who would love to do this with me right now

ventured out of closet, went to a bar, chatted up the cutest guys I could find and I had hours and hours and hours of mind blowing sex as often as I liked, if there had been any guilt or shame or trepidation, I took 9 years to get over it

when I came out the closet, I came out with flying colors

tantric path continued, something was happening that was not normal, not typical

I would be making love with a guy, no penetration with first 20 or 30 partners I enjoyed, always face to face body to body cock to cock lips to lips, over the top orgasmic, wasn’t any penetration but would find that, would allow self to completely lose myself, didn’t have to hold on to earthly reality, go flying, when I would come to, the men I would be with would be like, “dude I have neighbors”, what do you mean what do they have to do with anything, well you’re making a lot of noise man, what else would I do I’ve waited 9 years to enjoy this

they would enjoy it but they would try to shut me down

I hear this from friends when they make love with women, always concerned with how big it’s gonna be and how loud

at present moment I hold play parties for people of all genders, last play party, all of the noise that came out of my house was the screaming orgasms of women, didn’t hear men making any noise, windows were open, screams going through whole neighborhood

I told everybody in the beginning, it’s spring time its hot windows open, if you’re going to scream and orgasm, consider that a blessing to the people who live here, whatever you’re facing aim that energy into the earth, that it can bless this ground that has suffered so much for so many generations and so that the people near by can be blessed, consider the people on this continent that are hurting and let your waves reach those people

and I heard a lot of screaming from women, because, frankly I don’t know how many places in the world we have sanctuary to really allow that unstoppable orgasm to come out, I really feel it has frightened men for a long time, it frightened many of my sex partners early on

I had never been with anyone, I had only been with my ecstatic self, when nobody was home in my parents house, I was shouting hallelujah, I was screaming because it felt so fucking good, I didn’ tknow anything about holding it back

learned about body electric school in 1999, had been hearing more about this tantric thing

workshops where guys rubbed on one another’s cocks, and they would see colors, and visions , and maybe speak in tongues

room full of men would go into whole body orgasmic bliss but nobody ejaculated

it was really trendy in the 90s, a lot of people talked about it, wow I did it and I saw colors

I could travel back and forth in time, very different than what I was seeing in porn, to this day when I watch porn, still haven’t seen one that shows people having a transcendental experience, where they’re flying above the oceans and swimming with the dolphins while they make love

still waiting, when I make love I get to swim through oceans, I get to hear the whales, I get to smell the salt air, I get to travel through the world and its what I want for people to know more anything is that in addition to being a fuck load of fun to have sex, it’s also a vehicle that connects us to everything alive on the earth, and everything that ever has lived, no such thing as death, people that came before are here alive and we can visit with them, this is the potential of our sex, that I’m not hearing spoken about except out of my own mouth,

my tantra speaker spoke about it when I finally tantra, after the body electric school, where I went to workshops where men rubbed on each other’s cocks like a magic jenie bottle and transcendental experiences

when I was invited to my first tantra workshop I said well what is it, is it a tantra massage and he said no, it’s tantra

you mean tantra is different than massage, he said yeah it is

I went to this workshop in a log cabin, with some one to this day I consider to be one of the most authentic and resonant lineages of tantra that I have found, rudolph valentine

we do this tantra workshop in a log cabin, it’s hot, but there’s a pond and we bathe in a pond

it’s great we’ve done it lots of time, you should come, so I did

12 men there, all got naked, lined up on bank of pond, farm pond with frogs in it, every few minutes, hear them and nights sounds, crickets, we all line up, leader motions for us to take step forward, 12 men take a step into this pond with water up to our chest, remembered grandmother, I remembered her saying she was baptized in a pond, as soon as that thought came to me, the workshop leaders invited us to get into a circle, the two of them got into the center of the circle and they invited the first person to step in to the center of the circle, I thought are they really gonna do what I think they’re gonna do, I decided to go first, I stepped into the circle, one of them put his hand behind my head, the other held my hand, they both looked at me and I knew what was happening, they nodded as if to signal are you ready, I shook my head,i let out a wail, I stood in the middle of this pond with 9 men surrounding me, and two holding me in the center, and I wailed, I felt the sorrow and the disconnection of how I had been to be loved and cherished by a spiritual community and the pain of how it felt to be disconnected from your spiritual roots, in my heart I had a prayer that this time I would embark on a spiritual path that would hold everything that I am and allow me to be everything that I could be, and had room for every part of me, all of me the slut the priest, the father the son the man the woman everything in side of me the dark the light I wanted that path that could hold me, that was what tantra was, that was what tantra meant

I nodded, and they immersed me in the water and I had my second baptism, the first time was inside of a church when I was 6 years old inside of tank, they put you in this paper robe, and they bring you up out of the water and the whole church can see you all wet, with this paper clinging to your body

here I was in the pond, naked being baptized, this is the way to do it

moments in the workshop: looked at one of the teachers and said I’m so glad that I finally met my teacher, what do you mean, you’ve already had a teacher, what are you talking about, because you told me about the person that taught you everything, everything you already need to know about tantra was already taught to me, who was it, he said, your grandmother

my grandmother was a master at finding light in the darkness and master of turning obstacles into means, when I finally did meet my tantra teachers, 28 years after I first met my grandmother they told me the same things that she had, they were just the first to put it into words, my grandmother always had plenty when there was nothing, she had joy even when she lived in hell, she found heaven in hell, I’m sitting right now in the house that she lived and died in

my tantra teachers told me that tantra is the consummation of the inner marriage and while some of us look for a partner outside of ourselves to marry, most of us skip the essential step of finding that partner within ourselves first, I had a lot of time to practice that inner marriage, it’s a never ending relationship just like any marriage

shadow work, all of those pieces of ourselves that we think are ugly that we wouldn’t want others to know

its an instinct, there’s a part in us that isn’t always happy

part of us that feels angry, part of us that feels scared, there’s a part of us that feels enraptured, a part of us that feels enraged, the further we walk on the tantra path we’re prompted to see that there’s a place for all of this, to find the marriage of these opposites, the ultimate journey of what tantra really is all about

one more thing I want to add, I happen to be a gay man, I really love the word faggot, I embrace that word as part of my magic, and I happen to be a faggot who really loves to make love with women who love faggots, have had ecstatically joyful partners who were female, I had to embrace my delight and love of other men, before I could allow myself to be the complete faggot I am in bed with women

had precisely two maybe three ecstatic female lovers, they are female lovers that really love gay men,it’s really helped me to see the perfection that a lot of men who have sex almost exclusively with women, also have the complete right to enjoy sexual freedom with other men without necessarily having to put a label on it

visually when I look at women’s bodies, I can admire them I can appreciate the embodiment of the goddess and yet its way different, it’s not like a look at a woman and go I really want to have that right now, I really only objectify men

what happens with women, I approach it as an opportunity to commune with the divine, pathway that connects us with the divine, it no longer matters how old they are, how fat or thin they are, kinda fem or kinda butch, doesn’t matter what gender they are, if you’ve found source of your erotic expression in yourself and you love erotic expression for the pure excitement and sake of erotic expression it is possible to journey ecstatically and cathartically with a wide diversity of partners, some people ask me, how can you have sex with someone you’re not attracted to

one of my primary lovers is twice my age, I’m in my 40s, one of my lovers is in his 80s, we have some of the most transcendental experiences that I have with any partner, I make love with people not because of the way they look or how old they are, but authentically because I want to commune with the divine, I like to travel I like to transcend time and space, I get a lot of insight and guidance for what I’m gonna do with my life when I’m in that state, that’s why I make love

people say what type of person are you into, what type of person turns you on, I say a person who’s fuckin as excited as fuck to make love with me, that’s the kind that really turns me on, if they’re excited, I’m excited, if I’m excited they’re excited, there’s a resonance, that transcends appearance, age, social class all that bullshit

women, I’m really grateful for women because, making love with women was like, a later stage threshold that I crossed because that was when I really recognized, wow, I can have a transcendental erotic experience, and be a faggot with a person of any gender, I can, it can’t just be anyone, it has to be someone who knows we’re on a journey, and we’re connecting with something bigger than ourselves, if a woman just wants my dick its not gonna work, lots of time I don’t even get hard when I have sex, if I’m in a cathartic whole body state nobodies paying attention to how hard my dick is, that would be a liberating lesson if more men in the world were able to feel that the ability to connect ecstatically with the divine and another human being is completely independent of what they’re cock is doing, that’s radical

some of the most whole body orgasmic states I’ve ever experienced and witnessed were with people who’s cocks weren’t hard, don’t get me wrong I love hard dick AND there are a lot of ways to go into cathartic whole body ecstasy

homophobia…i barely use the word anymore, don’t often feel like I’m battling homophobia, which is a beautiful place to be

our world really does shift with the shift of our inner perception, the transformation of ourselves and planet using sexual pleasure, what I’m really asking of people to invite ourselves to consider that ecstatic sexual pleasure is available to far more of us than we’ve ever dreamed

we feel we need a partner of a certain type, in reality if we join with other partners who recognized that we have the opportunity to fly, to sail through the skies and the seas, experience realities beyond what we see, what meets the eye, we have the opportunity to go into multiple realities, the future on planet earth is that we’re going to see a world more filled with people who are excited about having sex with a variety of partners, less focused on getting hard, ejaculating, and fulfilling a whole checklist of what they think needs to be done to have great sex, and focusing more on oh my god, we have an energy field right now where if we introduce the faintest intention, that is going to manifest, as soon as we say it is done

10 years ago I spoke the impossible, I was in a native american ceremony with 100 queer people and I was asked why I came and I said I want to see the day when our people can fuck and enjoy the fuck out of each other and squirt our seed inside of one another and know we’re actually healing one another not killing one another

full on sexual delight was some how equated with death

I want our people to be able to share our medicine free from fear, healing each other not killing each other, I had no way of conceiving how that would be possible, today there are multiple opportunities for people to enjoy sexual pleasure with people of all genders like never before free from fear, a lot of people are using Prep, they’re taking something that allows them to free themselves from the acute anxiety that has for all too long accompanied them and their sex

not an advocate, or promoter, nor do I discourage people to use things things

the world has transformed, we have sex with each other for healing and health

its what brings us life

what’s coming up, the most exciting thing happening in my tantric path, is the gay tantra podcast

12/31/19 I issued the first episode, it was pretty hard core, it was a hard core sex scene, interspersed with sacred magic, to alert people that raunch, kink, and downright ass fucking is integrated with magic and health and healing, followed with talk with 8 other men, with how tantra relates to sex among men, created an exercise people can do

I’ve contributed to the creation of over 120 evolutionary gay erotic videos, all on my website:

bradamberheart.com

on the home page, I have links to the evolutionary gay erotic videos, gay tantra podcast, soon more links to upcoming events world wide

Jason Tantra and partner, created an app, that allows conscientious gay men who are exploring other realms of sexual magic and healing to meet each other, created at the same time as the gay tantra podcast, master of mind of universe created the gay tantra podcast and tantra4gaymen app at the same time

even if you’re not gay, you just occasionally like to suck dick, listen to the gay tantra podcast

event’s coming up, will be posted on website, announced on gay tantra

series I’m most excited about is a series that teaches people how to use , or harness their sexual pleasure as a tool to connect with higher sources of wisdom and information: transcendental sexuality

receive insight, new knowledge, and information

super excited some of the videos I created are still being edited

it’s a really evolutionary time to live on earth, it’s an evolutionary time for men who are exploring conscious sexuality with other men, unifications happening through colleagues, Jason Tantra, Davey Wavey, collaboration on videos

a network has been created that’s spanning the globe, super excited about gay tantra as a platform

each month an exercise as part of the series, free guided sexercises, more to come

Divine Communication for Lovers Banner

Divine Communication for Lovers TPP225

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In this episode I share the audio track from the Divine Communication for Lovers video program I released a couple of years ago. It’s a discourse on how to improve intimate communication habits where I share my experience and Herb Spiral Iris shares her insights alongside me.

 

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How to Find Your Dream Lover and Be Ridiculously Happy with Wendy Newman TPP223

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In this episode I’m joined by Wendy Newman, a highly accomplished sex and relationship expert for an epic exploration of her wisdom for modern dating and intimate relating. She is a rare treasure having spent many years researching and practicing her craft. We learn about her personal journey and compare notes on how to how to evolve past old defaults of the patriarchal paradigm.

Please visit her website at: https://wendyspeaks.com/

And join her Inner Circle at:  https://www.patreon.com/wendynewman

About Wendy:

Wendy Newman is a media-celebrated author, and a dating, sex and relationship expert who’s led hundreds of workshops and revolutionized the lives of over 60,000+ women internationally. She guides women to understand men, dating, sex, and partnership of all kinds.

Since 2002, Wendy has interviewed thousands of men on relationships, love, dating, intimacy, sex, and the opposite sex. She’s conducted polls, had one-on-one discussions, and hosted over hundred male speaker panels for these topics.

Wendy is a compassionate fellow dater who navigated her way through 120 first dates before meeting her husband, Dave, lucky #121. They live in San Francisco.

Her book, 121 First Dates: How to Succeed at Online Dating, Fall in Love and Live Happily Ever After (Really!) is part juicy tell-all, part anti-rules dating guide. It’s been optioned for a television series.

You can find Wendy’s articles, features, interviews and expert advice through the following media outlets: Access Hollywood, The Wall Street Journal, U.S. News, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, The Daily Telegraph (Australia), Meetic (France), Glamour, Redbook, Self, Huffington Post, Men’s Health, Men’s Journal, Elle (Canada), Honey (Australia), Salon, Your Tango, Refinery 29, Ask Men, Thought Catalog, Brit + Co, She Knows, Bustle and more.

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Born Positive: Transcending the Stigma of HIV and AIDS with Shawn W TPP222

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In this episode I was blessed to hold space to hear the deeply moving story of a born HIV positive man. He shares intimate insights into how various institutions within society can bring out both the best and worst of the human soul. He’s endured, survived, and transcending immense pain all while pursing fulfilling and nurturing sexual access,  true love and acceptance. It was a sincerely humbling honor to learn of his struggles.  I feel invigorated to continue to grow and evolve and support the acceptance and empowerment of all oppressed and marginalized people.

About Shawn:

Shawn W. was an awkward 80’s baby born in the wilds of Florida with one goal in mind: survival! Hear about some of the crazy adventures he endured including sex, drugs, and living with HIV.

Instagram: @awknerd

Designing Conscious Music, Film, and Fashion with Calvin Bliss TPP212

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Calvin Bliss pic

Deep Inside Video:

In this episode I’m joined by my dear friend and creative brother Calvin Bliss for an exploration of his personal and our shared conscious designer multi media projects. We take a journey into the past to remember the great times that bonded us on the dance floor, in the garden, in the music studio, and beyond. It was an exquisite joy to take the time to really honor where we’ve come from, what we’ve accomplished, and how we’ve influenced each other’s evolution as artists.

We then explore his “Deep Inside” track, it’s origin story, a behind the scenes on the music video shoot, and general advice and technical insight on the art of film making and music production.

His new clothing line Elf Tech is introduced and he shares about his journey into the ure, fashion and apparel space as an extension and evolution of his diverse influences in art, culture, spirituality, community, neo-tribalism, eco-futurism, and more.

About Calvin:

Calvin Bliss, AKA: Photon A.D. has been writing music for over a decade, splicing mind-bending glitch grooves over surreal soundscapes overlaying a funky beat. His performances focus on the genres of psybreaks, breakbeat, psytrance, and tech-house. He has played prestigious festivals such as the international Tribal Gathering in Panama, as well as a renegade cruise ship party and a set at the Brown Vortex on Halloween.

Photon A.D. takes his listeners on a journey through sound into the core of their being, uniting minds and hearts in an optimized flow space, fueled by his love for yoga and expanding consciousness.

Among manifesting a delectable dance music career, Calvin also has interest in filmmaking and directed his own music video for “Deep Inside,“ a feature Photon A.D. production. When he isn’t in the studio, Calvin enjoys practicing yoga and attained a Yoga Teacher Training certificate in Rishikesh, India.

www.elftechapparel.com
Instagram: @Elf_Tech
http://facebook.com/elftechapparel/

AI Generated Transcription:
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin Calvin blessed who has lots of wonderful wisdom and stories to share and we’re going to reminisce a little bit about our origin story together and in the very important. Powerful instrumental role he’s played in in my journey and just want to start off by saying that we both met within the the Psychedelic trance music underground in La back around 2011 and shared a lot of action and envisionary Consciousness around the potential that side trance can have to really help people heal and grow and build community and yeah we’ve been able to collaborate on music and just support each other really is Brothers over the course of many years and so yeah what stands out to you or anything you want you like to share about the early days and now it’s been a few years since we’ve been we’ve been going at it cast of ever been on so yeah thanks for your warm Hospitality but yeah I mean already back in the day and I remember it basically I was like sitting on my couch and I knew this party was going on and I was like I would say I was leaning like 40% towards going and like 60% towards not going and then for whatever reason I just decided to go and yeah and then it was a pretty cool party and then I met you there and I think I just like interrupted some conversation you were having with someone because I heard something interesting you were talking about and then yeah that kind of decision just get off the couch they’re like really kind of changed the definitely the course of my own how way I think about things and lots of other stuff so right on. Yeah I remember that night like it was yesterday and we were talking about really applied psytrance early in a sense of ever being like an open source technology where you could be it could be applying these beats and applying this Rhythm and energy to to actually build Villages build ecovillages together and and take it Beyond just the experience of the dance floor and actually put it to practical use sand in life in and we were just always gives out on kind of hacking site transfer for cultural transfer patient and it’s been a wild adventure since then and certainly you know we’ve added a lot to each other’s lives and I say you know I haven’t felt so much camaraderie in the music kind of romance since I was an early teenager getting in the punk rock and metal you know since then I’ve kind of like lost the passion for those movements to feel like there’s two alcohol and too much on consensual sexuality and just kind of kind of tired and stale politics and but yeah I meant to find to find a really rejuvenating invigorating life-affirming new paradigm / ancient Paradigm of shamanic trance techno music that was conducive to Tantra and conducive to yoga all that stuff matters like a whole new I don’t know who I would be or where I would be without you without you know having share this experience and and I haven’t really shared that experience with too many other people a lot of people you meet on the psytrance dance for you know you’re all in it in the moment you’re all in that present moment but but you don’t always connect outside of that you don’t always you know buddy up beyond that so I just want to again there’s some quote where like you know two people are like these chemical substances you know and their interaction like makes this totally new saying you know this anyway I probably super butcher that quote that says we not the quote but you know it’s just there’s some people that like ignite the spark with each other and yeah I’m really happy to have met you back then and now do you remember that sting you made it was like we’re sitting in the room at this Ranch you’re working on and you’re just telling me about this idea and I think we’re kind of like just expanding this idea together but just of like having sort of like a way to listen to music and do like work together and like we’re like all but we don’t have any speakers blah blah blah and then I was amazed because you just like likes for me like I was just like this like really bad idea but then I see you like in 5 minutes like I’m going to get some tea and I come back and you’re like on a computer hacking some stuff together with some Skype thing and like you like literally made the thing that was just like the idea to me and I think that’s that’s really cool like you know that that you can just kind of connect those ideas like to actually a the physical working thing is that at that point in my life honestly like I had so many just kind of dreams that we’re just like well yeah that be a really cool idea or you know stuff like that but like yeah you definitely kind of opened up the door way to showing me like some of these ideas we have are actually you know a lot easier to execute them that I would think so yeah that was really cool system like we were the couple that what you’re saying it’s like I would not have probably done it and I needed you and I needed that sense of you know it’s like being kids and figuring out that you can put a what connect a wire to two two cans of beans and have telecoms across your ear tree houses and talk after your bedtime you know it was that level of fort building excitement you know me as a mutual a mutual thing like you said and back actually when I was playing playing in Punk and metal bands it was me and this other guitarist and pee in one time somebody who said man you guys are like peanut butter and jelly and it’s a good way of putting it but but yeah man for sure that that was the vibe and and yes might my my kind of mad scientist ideas like Doc Brown kind of idea was to be able to synchronize and create a more harmonious workflow and prevent injuries on like permaculture landscape installations were if you have work Crews shoveling meal together to try to keep it afloat if they don’t bang shovels or or scrape each other and in the end he certainly when you’re turning your back and lifting and things you know the more Rhythm you can have working in teams the better and that’s proven out through all of all of the traditional cultures in the world is still have songs and works on his or whatnot so we can see what we lack that in the West for sure at this point it’s been kind of kicked in crushed out of us but I had this passion about side translate well we could so beautiful and we do not ask for what if we could do that in the garden what if we could do that it when we’re building structures in building ecovillages it would be so great but but we need a way to actually also communicate and you can’t the music is pound and then you won’t have the ability to like communicate verbally about safety or about you know just on a construction site you wouldn’t want to be specially if someone is on the other side of the top of your lungs over the music to try to like talk to them for solving that problem technically was the notion of what what if we can use this early stage smartphone technology to actually run a Skype call and and use it as a third-party plugin to to synchronize and load an MP3 file cuz you couldn’t just like stink it up across a hundred people but they had that thing at the time I think of Silent disco but I don’t think the silent disco had like a walkie-talkie intercom build then so this was this was a hack to get that to happen and then I remembered the moment that that we tested it is like I think something you know it took a couple of tweaks and it kind of work and I didn’t work and then when it fucking works like a football field away from each other doing separate tasks in the Garland jamming to the same beat at the same time and and dancing and talking and it having it be the dream the dream come true my love I think I think that was just a row it’s like 10 minutes before and then it’s like whoa this is really working like dude you’re a genius right now and like like to just literally like I’ve seriously felt like you know like a kid on Christmas because I was like wow I’m dancing to this awesome music right now my friend over there like way over there is dancing the same as you basically built like a silent disco thing which you know those setups are like pretty costly and you’re really technical the bill but you basically built one and then not only that we had this intercom thing to where we could like actually talk to each other and yeah it was like so cool the old dude like check out these lasers on this song and then yeah so that was like really cool so that was my first experience with realizing how how genius you are and how you can like really start creating that reality that I think I think it’s not just you and me and a lot of other people have started kind of like having these glimpses of these visions of this kind of like new paradigm and it was like you had just like turn that glimpse into like wow this is her real tangible experience and it really honestly like can we like what apps are million times more you know advanced in and have to look into it again I just it’s been weird just haven’t been bouncing around so much not having a the real playground to be able to to on that that 16 acre acre ranch to be able to to to really the only thing we couldn’t do there was actually blast the side which I have I don’t think you have I think you have we had just yet you had just barely missed that and are aware I was doing an urban Garden Inn in La I built this whole garden go basically like a burning man style camp on the top of the asphalt at this South Central LA giant Punk Warehouse complex and artist complex and and and there because of the industrial zoning I was allowed to bump the psytrance pretty much 24/7 I don’t know how the people didn’t kill me for getting sick of it but they let me they let me get away with that get away with it and I saw pictures and then some footage there but but that was where I had gotten in that zone if I had just been spending like a year literally bumping psytrance everyday and gardening with it like the secret life of plants and knowing that the whole ecosystem is just totally vibing on and people just watching people come in there and start dancing and fucking shaking it you know shaking the booty chakras and like grabbing some strawberries and just having it all be such an organic thing but but yeah this is like I think it’s all foreshadowing and you know to I was just is this sounded is not more watching you work and you’re a wizard castle of a of a studio making beats and then just dazzling me with your crafts and a video production in and just damn that we just had we have had continually have these bucket list of things to accomplish I think you know yeah I just want to make another note about how you really helps the music of Township on get started from the very first track and you were a Believer you were the first and and and only as Spirit Tasha Punk believer even when I didn’t have the confidence to to believe it would go anywhere or do anything but I certainly felt like I had I had been burdened with this track. I didn’t know what to do with us and you helped put the first beats to it and and yeah we had a sort of creative adventure with Sue Fiona and that that is is held up to this day and really yeah you’re part of that core Collective man so it is really I was like cool that sounds awesome like psytrance goddess worship with awesome vocals Like lyrics like that’s pretty different and honestly though at this at this point I think maybe this is about honestly like a year and a half or two years after I really started producing music so I always kind of just starting to get comfortable with like all this technology I used to actually make the music but I think the one thing that kind of really helped help with that process was I would when I would start like a new song or something I would always like right down on a piece of paper what my intention was for that song Or kind of like what I wanted it to represent or the feelings involved or like yeah like the feeling I wanted to invoke with people so I was super happy to help you and try it and yeah basically we ended up in like my tiny little closet Studio up in this literal Castle in Malibu is on a Mountaintop is pretty cool but yeah we recorded vocals and we ended up trying to do it but then I actually asked you to write down your intention and I was like kind of expecting it to be like you know like oh here’s like a little a little blurb of an intention but your intention was so thorough and like is so details and it it took up accutire page of paper but I think just setting that intention like actually I I think what happened is I didn’t quite have the technical jobs still like finish that song with you I was just you know getting lost in the error messages on the computer stuff and more like some weird thing would happen right so I didn’t end up really finishing that song with you but I think like that process of setting that intention when when we are beginning I think that helps like carry the song onto and I like its next few incarnations yeah that was the that was the garage days that was the the demo version and then someone who came through the psytrance community who who was our an elder to us really in it and someone who has actually like a professional sound designer sound engineer professional mat McHugh he is just one of those guys at that level and he he had I baste a week that’s almost like we did that demo and then he was almost like the equivalent of Capitol Records taking over engine producing at United mean so like we were I wish I would have been nothing without you and then nothing without me and then and then really nothing without him all the stuff works and you know we’ve always said we’re always on a destiny if you know there’s another I remember one time once I started for sing in Fruity Loops you know I was really really primitive and really having no clue whatsoever but you sent you sent you don’t not been producing too much PSI for a while and then you busted out this track that have this really haunting but really enchanting melody in and I totally ripped off of that end in and kind of started to try to figure out how to replicate the bass sounds and and get that sort of thumb that semi distorted it is it’s been a lot of fun just exploring the art form and sharing ideas and and you’ve come so far and I am still so far I mean not too early but it’s like yeah you you got the chops man and so do you want to talk about four people NCAA you know how that goes because yeah I think I’m definitely way more knowledgeable with the software and everything and yeah I was thinking of psytrance man I I heard your new album just the other day and I congrats man it’s great it’s that had some really awesome like moments in their eyes just like shaking My Butt Went Psycho to see you come quiet quiet quite a ways since like you know not even producing stuff yourself at all to like during like what three albums now like yeah it’s awesome so yeah congrats on that or you in that at all. Thank you mental it again all comes back to that that Brotherhood that we shared and me watching you work and me just fucking being blown away and be like I got to learn how to do that like skater like I said skaters skaters who show up and now I got the new kickflip you know I’m like no way I got a fucking to get that down you know what I mean so there’s that healthy expiration competition of like trying to keep each other sharp on things and and yeah man like you the I became such a purist with psytrance that I just got across many different genres do you want to talk talk about your let’s talk about your your Evolution and in float on a d and raffle should be looking at how they can check into Canadian really varied interests in electronic music for quite a while and I think when I met you I was just like sort of coming off this like dubstep typed vibe and personally I had kind of a big issue with dubstep at the time because it was just really I think I think that the phrase they used to describe it is called Transformer vomit but there was a lot of things that I just felt it was just overly harsh and overly sort of masculine energy so I kind of in my inner ear I had kind of started hearing auditory vision of a new type of dubstep that would be I don’t know what sort of a blend between like that kind of heavy sound and then also sort of like some of those really cool technical sound because even though like I don’t really like that sort of like Transformer vomit type music like those producers have crazy sound design skills makes things that are so unbelievably cool sounding and so I wanted to like try to integrate some of those really a great Sonic elements and then with sort of like back to the actual roots of like what dubstep music is a little bit more like like more slowly heavily moving really learning you know how to do all this stuff because it’s pretty wild I mean if if you’ve never opened up one of these digital audio workstations and you have literally zero doing that like it’s it’s like a whole another language and it’s there so many different parameters to learn and figure out like what does what and I mean the learning curve is seriously Steve so yeah I think you it seems like you’ve totally got in through now like who’s actually hard part where it just feels like you’re fighting the machine to where you’re actually like it was a channel your ideas so yeah with this dubstep album that was called love blast and that was basically like my kind of like first you know album where I think I really had a pretty solid understanding of how everything works together actually I don’t know what happened but I just had a big shift and I just kind of the dubstep I was listening to just started feeling really dark and I sort of had a brief until like it’s called Deep dubstep and it’s kind of like I just left like that Transformer vomit stuff and very more like auditorily pleasing sounds like really nice and smooth Butters very dark and I just I don’t know like I just started to feel like it was just kind of like this like really ominous can I like yucky energy still but in a like a less obvious way than the other type of dubstep so I basically was like okay no pun done with this and I pretty much had another one eighty but then I made a small little glitch hop album and glitch hop is it’s a little bit more funky than dubstep music and little bit faster speed too and so that was really cool by I remember it was actually pretty funny because I would always like send you stuff to check out and if you if it wasn’t psytrance you would always just be like yeah you know that’s pretty cool but like can you make some psytrance please Lou and I’m like when psytrance Wednesday and experimenting with different stuff as I like focus on sort of one jonra here and there that you produce so far to me that had that what I really go for most of all with that you were blessed to also have like this parallel gift of a of a female vocalist just into your sister field and so we almost I now that I think about it I don’t think I’ve ever thought for this two together but we really are prayers were answered you know we wanted to bring in that shocked the energy masculine hyper-masculine music forms and have a real talent there that wasn’t just lifting samples to meditation CD you always end up hearing the same ones recycled by bunch of different producers and and and where is the where are the afentika aprotic female vocalist from different cultural Traditions are tribal tradition tradition is it actually show up in the studio and record over the beasts that you’re making him both of us had that authentic experience and it was both a very organic so that’s why would I want to say that track that we work together that are the music video that I was blessed to join you in participating in that track was it is really a nice sounding tea set that transcends genres you want to give us sort of the behind-the-scenes on that whole journey and and certainly which of the music video and the female vocalist like I love those stories of synchronicity in for sure for sure so yeah actually I was at Lucidity Festival which is it’s definitely one of my favorite festivals there’s actually not that much psytrance there but they do have some psytrance but just the overall vibe there is it’s really nice and so I was in my happy place just so you know doing my festival thing and kind of like walks by these two women sitting there and like why was kind of like maybe I should go to talk with them or I don’t know like and then one of them just said hey come and talk with us that’s pretty cool like awesome like really friendly vibe there so yeah I came over and turned out one of them is a vocalist and her name is Alex and you know it was telling her how like I make music I’m always you know looking for vocalist and I think this is a point in my life where I had just gone through this like realisation that you can make such a more rich and enormous sound when you how many voices coming together to create that so I was really like like open to collaborating with like almost anyone that would come my way at that point and yeah she was like okay here’s my number like you know like let’s get in touch and actually I had it like I don’t know probably three or four or vocalist like that I had met in that same kind of like months and I would reach out to them and I’ll just hear nothing back or it’s like oh yeah let’s get the California yes like the time is now baby after the festival Alex actually got in touch with me and you know it was like hey it’s like I really want to sing you know with you and yeah so she lives pretty far away from me but she came out and we recorded a bunch of vocal stuff on three or four songs that I was doing of the time and I just one song basically I had kind of like some basic elements of it was very raw skeletal Types on and that’s the song called deep inside and yeah it is just when I heard her singing on there it was like wow this is the song right here this is what’s been missing she’s just got the most amazing voice and she has so much soul I’m hearing you speak I feel like the if I had to explain to somebody who never heard the word Tantra before and your people ask me if clients and whatnot where should I begin and what should I read and certainly there is I really enjoy Urban Tantra by Barbara carrellas and also the jewel in the Lotus and also the complete idiot’s guide to tantric sex if I never had I’m waiting for this I’m waiting I’ve been waiting for something like this to me again I Just Praise her your style and approach and I really think the what it brings together is it just these two words kind of came to me these two terms just like the Smith self-help genre and the self-help movement is something that is sort of its kind of made fun of or it’s not it’s not really taking totally seriously or it’s kind of like oh yeah you’re there’s something wrong with you and if you were normal you would you would not need to go that route so it’s kind of like a weird something where you might you might lose respect for yourself even by questioning that are thinking what am I going to having a midlife crisis I don’t need that you know what is going on but then with Tantra it’s so you’re such a almost like a martial arts kind of level of self-mastery and self-discipline I really is the sort of Jedi training and I think you bring that you sent the size of those two for me those two opportunities where it’s like yeah you you’re actually using courage and bravery and becoming a warrior but then you’re doing all this really touchy feely deep emotional work and that should that should take care of people’s hesitation to go either on a warrior path or on a more self-help spiritual path that gives you your compelling people to take both and for when men I think they they seek that out maybe they seek the warrior path more than the spiritual path but there’s I think there’s a lot of marketing and hype around that for men but this is really good tip for a loved one country women’s use the word Fierce and they invoke that that energy and they Empower femininity with with that those archetypes so could you talk maybe a bit about what that means to you the that just reconciling masculine or feminine Shiva Shakti really kind of bringing these tools of of strength and resolve and discipline to two women who may be of this been crushed by patriarchy you know for Generations oh yeah that’s a big question right there yeah and that’s I mean being crushed by Peter I came that’s definitely why I wrote the book and I actually why you were talking I just wanted to mention that I have a section on their on you know telling women to how to stop denying that masculine energy or also men love because I find that you know because you know a lot of the women I work with the idiot had just bad experiences with men or with times that they’ve stepped into their masculine energy and so they’ve just been very hurt by it and then they sort of backed away from it and you know I try to work with them on you know it’s about housing balance of Both Worlds and really understanding what the masculine is and also the ways in which masculine and men have been disempowered you know and really starting to take ownership of that you notice a lot of times women are like you know when I start bringing in the masculine they’re like okay I know I bet that’s like to heavy like that kind of energy that they don’t want to work with that energy and they don’t want to explore that energy and so I say okay you know there’s there’s no pressure and there’s no rush cuz you got to do what feels right to you and a lot of time they seem. Just by like stepping in to do that feminine energy because it is fierce right it is courageous it is powerful like you said there is not Warrior quality to it I’m still by simply die do something like this to summon and energy you actually calling up you know those masculine aspect you’re calling up that strength that where your strength at the same time without really realizing it so unconsciously and and you’re bringing those forces them to bounce and I’ve seen that a lot of times with women that I’ve worked but I’m really like surprised at how the feminine wild like this actually you know it’s soft there is softness in the feminine but as you claim it and as you’re able to fearlessly stick with that and embrace set and embodying it naturally you know.. Here’s mess. Power starts to rise time to help stabilize their energy and so it’s pretty much really a magical thing it’s pretty amazing and so I have this part in my book about you know how to really heal yourself from what you thought maybe you know how house Gary masculine energy might be some time I’m sure there are practices that really going to that and yeah and then that’s really a big part of my work to because a man I mean we are in need of some major balance here on this planet and in this life in this world so I really feel the more that we can Embrace anybody and I’m leaning into the feminine that is rising right now in the more we can scan with that the more that we can make space for on the masculine to heal and balance and a bike ride but like Reno really hot like it in excess right but Valance in such a way that it kind of comes down to meet the famine in so that this beautiful kind of dance can emerge Amor Harmony and that would just make such a huge total impact and we just within the body the container of one individual body being able to fuse and merge those energies so powerful yeah I’m really is why I do what I do awesome yeah I can say from experience from the first couple of experiences and session work that I experienced with you then I really got I was able to feel the force so you know that if we’re going to be using that Jenna archetype you know in in there if you want to call Kundalini Shakti goddess energy which is I love calling I love I love hearing of Kundalini as a salmon in force and you were the one who activated that for me and it was just very unusual yeah I remember like it was yesterday and so I appreciate it in you you can get really philosophical and really theoretical but grounding everything into practices to make it as a workbook almost it sounds like this is amazing so you and it’s something that has to be felt in the body to really know what it is yeah it’s hard it’s hard to find words nothing will thank you for all that great work do you feel kind of complete as in that in this kind of brief introduction but but pretty I think it’s a pretty good overview I definitely thrilled to to go deeper with it and others will be as well so I wanted to give the bulk of this episode to this important news of promoting and getting the word out about the book and then but also address questions that I’ve had as a sort of I’ve become a sort of meta Godparent to a lot of different mothers who were rebranding as independent mothers who are in various stages of Court battles with baby daddies for custody and for child support and and I’ve just checking on this sort of I decided I’m not going to reproduce biologically all of my vasectomy but I will reproduce culturally by my being short playing that that more of a Shimano roll in peace and also keeping a little bit of distance from that that this is a an ancient sword of time tree thing of if you are not to be the guru per se but to be an Adept you may have to disengage from householding because there’s just so much mundane kind of learning and things you got to sit through so your country path is always going to be kind of a balancing act between how much of a household are you going to be and what roles are going to have within a community and then how far out you get to go on your own into your mystical practices so I have taken that past of offsetting my my familial obligations a bit so that I could study things from afar and then just go to be this force of will hopefully an Angelic sort of force supporting women who are in different degrees of Crisis that’s just a little bit of a of a context for why it’s important for me now to reconnect with you in a n n learn from you and share your teachings about Tantra parenting the pattern that has been emerging in the question is being asked of me and the view is is how does a woman who has just recently given birth and going through all these different chemical changes and hormonal changes how do you what’s the advice on keeping that spark of love and attraction alive with the baby daddy partner what are some some tricks and tips that you would recommend for for that really critical bonding you know six segments of Life first of all I’m not going to lie. I think the first thing to do is I mean really too kind of except that it’s not going to be the same but. It’s actually you know like I said with you know what having kids how you’re able to look at the things that really matter to you that was so when you actually are with your partner and you have those moments you know they might be less but we are going to be amazing because you are fully present and you’re showing up each moment you know and the end of a lot of for me it’s like when I first became a mom so I had my first son and it was really hard I was just like what cuz I was Dino stole so focused on your child and really wanted to be there to nurture that I and you are you know you’re you’re so deep into it into motherhood and it’s so new everything is so new and exciting and exhausting but I am in a few months I was just like oh my gosh like how how does this work how do we make this work and it was really really difficult very difficult but I found that by you know because I’ve had my kids almost 8 years now until I found that really what we eat sometimes you know if if we need to say like make an appointment with each other and that’s what we have to do if we have to put it on the calendar they okay these are the the two or the three days a week that were scheduling for ourselves for intimacy for connection then that’s we’re going to do that first there was a struggle because my husband’s like okay this isn’t sexy yo after he got over that initial thing it was like okay like we can do this we can make time for this we can we can be intentional about it for us really had to do that because not only was it you know hard navigating with kids now but also the work you know work in the balance of that it was just really tough so that was one of the things that we did the other thing that I want to say is that sometimes you know you you have good intentions but I got at the end of the day you’re exhausted and and then you just end up wanting to just sit there and whatever you want to do watch TV or you know just go to bed until I always like to say that really if you really want to keep that sparked going not to give up just because you feel like okay you know I don’t have that energy right now or I don’t have the time to put into this right now to really see and used Contra in a way that it’s really meant to be experienced right because Todd’s are really isn’t just all about sex right and having that fat set spark Tundra is it much deeper than that and so sometimes you have to tell yourself like okay even though we don’t have time to make love right now maybe maybe it’s just about lying down next to each other synchronizing out of breath making that I contact I’m falling asleep to that I’m letting that be enough you know before you know this night or this week or whatever it is like in the beginning it’s not to really put so much pressure on yourself but to use Simple practice is like you know that you have your own position and just sitting there together and being or maybe you know it’s one night you really need a massage right now you know I really just after having a long day or a long week and be with the kids so much that’s what I really need so communicating that to your partner and really staying in touch with that and not being embarrassed or not feeling like it’s too much or too much of a burden or whatever it is just really being clear about what you deeply need I’m in a lot of that comes down to really checking in you know with yourself all the time and seeing what’s there I really feel like things like that even though you know you might be cuz it’s also self-care right so you’re able to connect with your partner in that way and then you’re also able to have that time must be nurtured and a slowing down which is also key so I think everyone is going to work differently and it’s going to be unique for all of us but it’s really about finding those opportunities to stay consistent to really stay connected in those small tangible ways and mlc really accepting that it’s okay that you know your relationship has changed the amount of time might be able to have to devote to one another Soul has changed I’m not true but you can actually take all that and evolve it into something in a lot of cases that really goes much deeper than that you know because now it’s it’s amazing you know you have this this connection and you know going through motherhood and Emma strikes that that gives you time to actually be able to take that foundation and that strength and that those nurturing abilities and that expression being able to use that with your partner in your relationship I’m having that Foundation really can make me very powerful in a way that’s unexpected just as amazing as you always bring it back to the fundamentals of the practices this is not all hot air to talk about it tell about doing it doing the work and I just feel like it makes me think that I can think of I mean I know some couples will have the foresight to at least make prenuptial agreement but I can’t think of anyone who they actually said we are going to go through the most insane trans transformation of everything we know we can if its first time parents who have no clue what to expect and they and what if they were to get these to be the eye of a storm throughout anyting that’s the Abbey unless Ty gazing the synchronized breathing you can’t touch that space with anything so but but pure Bliss and whatever does need to get work through if it’s done in that space it’s going to be conscious it’s going to be a constructive and it’s going to be a firming so I feel like it’s the what I’m hearing you say and what diarrhea firm is two people listening if you were expecting and you want to keep this container of love together and ever strengthening then start doing his practices now and know that you’re going to really rely on them it’s going to be life-and-death okay we’re just going there so I can breed all right like can’t we just do that let’s just do that next week or let’s just all of that I mean once you start doing it and engaging and you feel that present in your body and the Net Connection you have to just trust that all of that and all of that adds up and all of that makes a difference in your relationship every moment of that that time that you have on to be able to connect in that way as powerful well thank you again for bringing it back to to those core practices again you could have a lot of compliments sure there’s a million complicated bits of advice that people could give for this but this is so practical and and I just I dare people could really do it in and I don’t think you can fail you know I don’t think it’s possible to fail if you have good intentions and you do the scratches so yeah so we were getting also to your kind of making a perfect segue to the next question which is more more about the the asymmetry of responsibility and Duty specially for breastfeeding mothers and mothers to be carried to full-term and whatnot it’s it’s like there’s such a the mail investment just as how I always make this joke there probably less violence in the world is men had to breastfeed but women actually held the babies in their room still so imagine that you wouldn’t be off to go into war and using weapons and guns and swords that she had breastfeeding on demand for whatever after 5 years income that would be great that leaves man with such an unfair and balance of freedom and privilege to not be bound to the those tasks so a lot of women are rightfully lamenting this sensitive of the men who are supposed to be there showing up to with the with the mother is hoping for is that yeah he’s going to go to work and put food on the table and make it so I don’t have to work hopefully or I can work you know in a way that I can still be involved in my children’s lives you know for God’s sake you know who something something not just not just the short maternity leave remind me that the CEO of YouTube is a yogini who is Hardcore advocate for way longer maternity leave or something yeah I didn’t know that I’ll send you a link to a video where it where you get to see that she’s actually really badass them she’s a fierce that ass woman who’s awake I have no idea how did you navigate and how do you recommend for women who maybe don’t have is as blessed of a of a beloved Fixer-Upper type type men how do you get them on board with really going the extra mile of of checking in about about the needs a mother you know mother would have if she is being assertive about her knees in about the new suicide where she would like how can you be humbled to her and just be asking and showing up to being serviced that’s a question that’s a really great question and I have to say that I’m really fortunate with Eric because he I mean he has just him and he is just been a tremendous support from the beginning but then at the same time it’s like I also have to do my part with him right of being very clear about I need you no because then it that this always with him you know in the beginning of special rub up against this when he just wouldn’t know you know and I would be just waiting silently expecting something but he wouldn’t really know that that was what exactly I was looking for right because for women it’s like having that ability to breastfeed and nurture and carry this baby. Room I mean just how we have those abilities so readily at hand and we know what we need sometimes it’s hard to say yeah I need this actually it sometimes it’s hard because where we can be so strong you know and we can put off the 15 so strong and like we have everything together and I know that I do that a lot of time where I’m just like yep I’m good I don’t need help I look what I’m doing all by myself I’m doing all these amazing but that really inside I’m like oh my gosh like what am I I can’t do all this by myself and just allowing your partner that opportunity like okay like this is really what I need and this is the support that I need and this is how I feel going through that and not being afraid to say I am overwhelmed right now you know and and can you please and saying this from a place of love right not from a place that judgment and like what are you doing for me and you know resenting that you know you have more freedom than me and Bubba blah and I’m here breastfeeding or whatever it is not doing it from that place but from you know from your center from a place of love like I’m I’m really overwhelmed I need help with this right now you know can you get up be up with a baby now for two hours because I only had 3 hours of sleep last night instead of just silently you know doing in that moment when you feel I mean I I just I know a lot of of moms and a lot of friends who dust will just be like okay well he didn’t you know my partner my spouse he didn’t step up and so I had to do it and then my will but did you say something and they’re like no or maybe they did say something but you know it wasn’t from that place you know of just clear intentional loving vulnerable until. I think that was one of the biggest things for me especially you know when our relationship I’m like okay and then you know my husband tries to tell me like he’s Eichler like he’s like really I want to be able to show up for you like I want to be strong for you I want you to feel good but he’s like I honestly don’t I just need to to hear it I just sometimes I need to be told or I need to be reminded because it doesn’t come as naturally to me and then show me be mindful of that and not you know not falling to being hurtful or resentful something makes me cute different do you know well that’s really really profound that that really gets to the hardest exactly what I’m seeing go wrong inside once at once that slippery slope really hard I mean it’s kids once this thing start to add up then breaking through that you’re really. It’s really snowballing and that’s your thing everything is this Noble thing I’ve seen it yet so that is great advice I think that work that I said the fly to something if x is kind of ridiculous that it reminds me of I remember seeing young young women and whatever middle school or high school and home home economics class and they will be given an assignment to have a baby doll with them for whatever and in that relationship it’s like okay honey we’re going to do what it’s going to feel like for me to be busy and need help from you and you put in your garden that would be funny if it decided to give people that sensitivity at sensitivity training cuz once it’s already ratchet up and then more expenses than what I’m seeing to notice let me know way more than I do but it’s like I don’t think I think people underestimate the cost of of multiple visits to the pediatrician a week you know it’s like figuring out food allergies and decoding the sugar all of the ways that sugar is is is surreptitiously inserted into packaged food and just it’s such a pill battle to be holistic and to be in at all so it’s just this this is all in on top of just I mean most people are just buying everything off the shelf from entertainment to toys to food to diapers and whatever it is it’s all just off the shelf but to have that effect of wanting to do better than the last Generations or to resist the marketing and be more green or whatever that’s a whole another layer of the building so you know it’s just to get more and more complicated and at the end of the day I see the women just getting ran ragged and the dudes just kind of blowing him off sadly to say but if we could he had say that actually kind of Segways a bit to another question which is and this I mean you could you could write a whole book just on this subject alone out so I don’t expect you to to go too far into it but maybe just some off the top of your head pointers and we can move along quick to know we’re getting close on time so so any suggestions for creative and educational and non-toxic toys just a few maybe went to one website or one store just don’t know anything I don’t know if I’d be the best person to ask about that because I not that they have a choice in general just because you know like all the plastic and everything I mean and we like literally their toys are like one corner of our house like a couple of containers and that’s it and they barely even play them to be honest with you I feel like the simpler the better you know I feel like I’m all about like art you know art projects you know the pain and the crayons and all the art supplies and things like that so that they can enhance their minds and use their hands that way and explore that way they’re into that but I found that you know the purchases that I made with toys throughout the years it’s like that use it and then they’re done and that’s like a big hunk of plastic sitting there are biodegradable and Wooden Spoons and then they’d be busy for 2 or 3 hours you know that they have gotten that I get them they’re like okay and then they open it and then they look at it for 10 minutes and then I end up you know it’s just a way so yes so we do more we like to do more stuff you know in nature I mean they like to play you know what they say they love gospel they love being outdoors they love Ari and they love puzzles and things like that so that’s why I hope that I hope and pray that we will all have abundant opportunities to being healthy natural environments and have plenty of more outdoor time the better cuz there’s some nature is like endless you know just being outside they’re like so fascinated by every little thing the backyard I don’t know it exactly how I like how did the people survived all of those many years ago without these big pieces of plastic and well that is exactly what I thought I hope to hear in and a very firm it if so this is another test of the last one here is probably the the most kind of universal so I don’t know if there is an answer to this question however I died would like to spend I would like to spend my golden years doing a lot more anthropological research on on foraging sigala Terry and societies before you spell hunter-gatherer societies who have basically none of the the neurotic issues that people in the modern world have and and I love to know I would like to believe that there is that there was a golden age of human Innocents where the terrible twos didn’t exist and then that we could decode that and figure out what is it more nurturing Less Talk toxins I mean is it just that there’s so much overstimulation and so many maybe you’re actually able to perceive carcinogens at that age and then you stopped being able to and that’s why I mean it could be anything less or I could just sent them know something very out of balance that’s just modern so I’m just wondering if you have if you were really idealistic about know I’m going to teach there going to be a master Yogi’s by the age of one so that the terrible twos happen though I already beat exam enough I don’t know why you if you were like I don’t know like tell me what that’s been like for you and then if you have advice for people who are in that approaching that Horizon will for me I really I really just try to go with the flow you know just so I’ll talk to style just like accepting every part of it I was just part of the the beautiful messy process of development and growth and exploration and sometimes I do know because otherwise then it’s just become so hard you know what I’m saying because you expect it is you’re going to have meltdowns right it’s not it’s not going to be easy is there at like going to be some very tough days especially in the beginning if it’s going to be hard you feel like what what am I what did I get myself into one of my hairdo evaporate the next moment you know you’re going to feel the most joy and Bliss and happiness that you ever felt like wow that’s amazing that I get to be a part of this process you know that I get to witness this human being growing and developing and it’s it’s just amazing so it’s really you know you know the whole ton truck idea of a flowing through those energy that accepting every moment no matter how chaotic and allowing those emotions and those feelings and those moments to move to you during this challenging time to witness in you know children and young children because it’s like they can like be so happy in one moment and literally within five seconds that can beat me on the floor it’s crazy right it’s like oh my gosh the wide array of emotions from moment to moment and not inhibit that till I I feel like you know it’s like wow for me initially seen that in the beginning and fidget with night was my first one and that you can just move so fluidly like this and just just like that and get so consumed by something else in another moment we just amazing to me so I think we can really take a lot of sign a lot of lessons and just being present at something to a Full Circle closed right now because what I am even before you started to reply that lesson for grown-ups really about about cycling through your full expression and not choking your body is response to a situation out and the full the full body response to a situation I was actually remember me on my phone while I remember a room full of adults it you and Eric’s condo and we were being instructed to behave like children having a tantrum so that we can feel good and actually know the nice that storm there’s like the sun and the blue sky and in the EXO baekhyun the funny faces and doing the monster dance and some just like well you’re probably realizing hits are the times of the exactly yeah it’s it’s pretty amazing to witness is there a word for like reverse parenting or something has got to be a word for the the the from children actually teaching adults what they’re forgetting and I didn’t mean well that’s really it’s a really heartwarming conversation and I feel like the people who are hearing this and who have experienced so much pain and distress that there is such a open source free to use to spend your own time studying it get this book read the book watch Roadies videos I certainly considered to be the highest resource that I like to share with folks because of the same reason they listen before adjusters I don’t feel like there is a knot a snake-oil aspect of what you’re selling and there’s not a sort of a shady ulterior motive saying a gender that I have to worry about and and I just can’t say that about that many people until I’m sure you know and I certainly feel for myself that you know I have I always want to be deferring is often as possible to sort of protect my Integrity to not be the what do they call it like the god cock Shaman is just a narcissistic people’s souls and that’s easy enough to it’s easier to take that route of that that black timeshare manipulate manipulate almost hard not to do it so I mean I’m making and I feel like we are making major effort cuz that’s the complete opposite of what you are and what you and body I mean from the very beginning so yeah no thank you I really feel like you are just I mean somebody who’s just really in there doing that you’re like doing the work you know and you like do it like with an open heart you’re just like in there and you’re talking to everybody and just creating this just really amazing platform. You should be really proud of well thank you again and again I have to say you helped start at all and one of my the first real social proof that I had was that was your gracious licensing of me to share some of the video work that we did together it’s been a blessing that go into detail but all that in that in that previous episode supposed to listen of that and I will say that we we were blessed and burden in this in this time of this episode to take to cover a good intro to the book and also to open this discussion about time to Parenting I definitely want to set the intention that in the future we will give more of a of a deep dive into your personal background and it sort of will let that be a cliffhanger to hear about your experiences early introduction of Tantra and just kind of the got your path of building that confidence and certainly the form give experience Syfy oh my God it all yeah we haven’t got into your filmography either still be there next time to say this for next time to talk about birth because yes I mean not as deep and my experience naturally delivering and doing it with Tantra as my Foundation is the only way that I said I survived it and actually enjoyed it. Arrington have the complete box set free thank you so much thank you so much for having me it was really great and most richest time in in a moment to to share this Basin and certainly yeah it’s it’s a got it just give you a big big bow down because this you were the one who helped me start this this whole journey I don’t know I don’t know who I’d be or where I’d be doing it if we didn’t have a Meeting of Minds you know so yeah I can’t believe I forgot to say this I mean you were seriously you were the first one who discovered my website you were the first one who reached out to me and one of the first that I’ve actually I will say the first that I taught that I didn’t know because I had started already like teaching but like you know friends and friends of friends but you were the first clean one like the first student I was like oh wow yeah that that walked in and like was the beginning of really that Journey so thank you I did not know that I did not realize that that that’s funny so funny I can’t believe I never told you that that’s very well so everybody just like get over your awkwardness and just represent just like bring your egg and no matter what things will come out you know it’ll all fall in place to get back to the Sam and yeah I give them my love and thank them for allowing you to to do the book and for all of the people who parted the sea so that you could get that book done and then provide provide that to us and so much more thank you I know it I just want to say thank you so much for Amy what you just what you spoke about earlier just blew me away how you been stepping up to support women and you know what your mother’s I mean you are really holding for me to space there and this is really something that you know I know that would indeed and you know a lot of them have been longing for so thank you so much for for being that person and for filling that role cuz it’s just amazing the work that you’ve been doing all these years I thank you you planning to see each other that they were they say that it’s the fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree at least in the sense of the guru to train me to be a womanizing pick up artist in the name of conscience so I guess that’s why we you know gravitated toward each other There Was You know. The little like energy so I think I don’t think you would have found that path that was not your will thank you so much again yeah so much so much good vibes and good times and we will be in touch soon and and best of luck with all of your your your book emotional adventurous okay great thank you so much fun. Country Park. Calm and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to see me and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple provide ketologic employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email band at Township Park. Com Thomas gay

Sex, Drugs & Mostly Yoga with Kara Leah Grant TPP211

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Kara Leah Grant Pic

Photo by Pete Longworth

In this episode I’m joined by a brave and courageous tantrika who shares a love for psychedelic spirituality and has been on a path of evolution set in motion by powerful transcendent drug experiences.

She shares her intense story of spiritual growing pains, navigating love and relationships, tantric initiation, and ultimately owning her power to teach and transmit the practices of tantra.

We talk about the differences between Yoga and yoga, the role of asanas and tantric practices in the path of self-realization and liberation, neo-tantra vs. classical tantra,  the role of psychedelics in aging and maturing spiritual practice, the interplay between the chakra system, the nervous system, and the endocrine system, the intersections of biomedical science and tantric art and science, and much more!

About Kara-Leah:

Born and raised in New Zealand, Kara-Leah is an internationally-renowned retreat leader, teacher and author. She has impacted millions of people over the last decade through her articles, books, videos and teaching. Passionate about liberation in this lifetime, Kara-Leah practices and teaches an every day path of awakening – the path of the Awakened Heart Warrior. This path is grounded in Tantra and focuses on dissolving layers of the conditioned mind into deeper and deeper heart-felt presence. Kara-Leah’s work, through her teaching, writing and retreats, focuses on using the process of compassionate inquiry to reveal conditioned mind, and so help people to drop down into being-ness and presence. She is the author of two previous books, Forty Days of Yoga and The No-More-Excuses Guide to Yoga. She can often be found dancing in her living room for no reason at all.

Website: http://karaleah.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/karaleahgrant/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karaleahgrant/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRVrL82Cv0H0tQzFrhuH2RA?

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello David Lovitz welcome to Township on podcast episode number 211 I am here with Carly Grant and she is a touch of teacher and author and we’ve been connecting by social media and my interest is piqued with the title of her book sex drugs and most of the yoga field notes from a Kundalini Awakening has a very similar structure and and serve residents with the title of my forthcoming book and looking at so far the outline of the book I haven’t had time to fully enjoy it but to be able to get a sense of what How Deep The the rabbit hole goes it’s really exciting and I can’t wait to hear more about it in this will just kind of be the the primer and the incentive to go deeper in the future with her works better love to have you tell us kind of all about your personal background and then we can get into the evolution of this this writing that you’re doing and what you have offering what you working on the future gifts from my ex and a background I’m in my early forties now and then finally experienced in my life and for the Whistler ski Town it was an impact time of dance holidays and club and working and Hospitality sucking out the Mountain hiking in the mountains around America convergence are included to the practices and tell me if it’s a nightclub that may just like all of my possessions if I didn’t have enough self a wenis or knowledge to work with what was coming up so those things also. and I was at 4 time music please to Ocean blonde with my partner engaged in my fiance I just took me to the edge we took on the Friday night not a whole lot you know what your headaches to see on Friday night and then I may be going to a yoga class on acid which is doing mines post three times and is it a super teacher kind of looking at me funny and that just began this is skating unfolding shift in my perception of reality that long story short went from Bliss Wellness instant downloads of everything to eventually starting to go into deep trunks where I was speaking a foreign language my fiance he we can do it like I lost touch with reality and waking up in the psych ward guy what the fuk just happened to me inside that it was like trying to psychosis and then life post psychosis where I’m coming from that is very interesting and exciting and I’ve certainly had wow definitely profound otherworldly experiences where I was completely disconnected with consensus reality and ended up in some very bizarre situations in can commiserate on that as well but it sounds like also somewhat glorious do you want to talk about what insights that were happening and how long was it last thing in and just yeah can you can you even almost in a way channel the that you were at that time to to give us some some fun insights about the other side yeah absolutely on the fishing on his side so that happened was right on the new moon that experience and it was a Sunday morning that it began on Friday and sedated the Friday night and saw it was about five day experience to those who are astrological things happening in the sky and then a month later to my fiance ended up breaking up with me right side face before and that triggered a stick and experience of psychosis so I had two experiences and what was you gave me an opportunity to see how the stick and experience is triggered by my own emotional defense mechanisms and the way that I couldn’t handle the grief and I ended up disassociating and because I’d already my psyche was already right John is already to reduce a multi-dimensional reality inside that stick in his time there was a list of the translate State Police of the crate is coming through the wasn’t the language Exeter so going back to the experience it was extraordinary how to put it into words we just kind of go back and feel it was it was as if I dropped into knowing you know it just old things worth knowing is one way to describe at like anything that I needed to know I was at my fingertips I could just reach out and it was like I knew every witch every song every book dissolve at one point in the journey but it was also via quite strongly and other points and because the experience was being held by the the challenging relationship I was in a lot of ciaran Tiara coming up going to couldn’t communicate with my fiance cuz I was so worried or afraid of what he might think of what I was going through and he was looking at me like I was crazy and I can feel that so the whole experience was are the light with all of this fear of speaking truth and this way that I was kind of responding to his description of me as such so the where lots of different visions that came around the nature of reality and it was it was so the child that the world is different from what we told school and what we told and Society was being confirmed and just a little Winston’s to like it’s never about what we want and it’s always about what we need that I need for always be Mitch witch simplistic or like me what does it mean it’s not really a big deal everything just seems so important and so profound and so when I was trying to communicate this with my pain. He was just my voice doesn’t make any sense in like one thing I remember quite clearly as he was wearing glasses he needed glasses and I was trying to tell him that in the future we wouldn’t need to wear glasses that we were shifting into the what I was saying in the future and what was actually happening now and so I keep trying to take his glasses off him and tell him he didn’t need them of course he saw he needed them so it was like I had an ability to steal through time but it was very hard to ground that into recognize what was actually real for right now since I was really confused child and suddenly having all of these talents will gifts or abilities, and have no understanding or no way to put them in context or to ground them or two to use them it was incredibly confusing and since you’re fine and you’re very Blissful at the same time in like a deep sense of relaxation is well it was all happening at once interesting very time shake that distinction contrast between the Bliss and the terror and it’s a magician that I follow sometimes online and and he’s talking about really deep really edgy taboo kind of exploration spiritually and he says he’s a one-time very often you know the aha moment turns to oh shit and like I can I can get that sense xhilaration but also that the terror and so wild so cheap do you feel like you had any Transmissions from beings or entities or deities or anything of that nature any kind of like encounter type moments now there wasn’t any specific mbodied other beings that came true it was more like just the same to the wholeness of the Wonders and just knowing that would come through around like I knew that I had to return to New Zealand and I knew that I knew that was related to my mother and I related to my life Jenny what was required. The whole time. To really encourage my memory as much as I could with what I had to see it and then when I begin to do is to attempt to pass out to determine would like to see been truthful Vision or was that psychosis was at the the same scar I mean I was so laid him down with him scar is still so they will what was coming through so it was a real challenge for me to go right what was real and what was just the delusions that I was still laboring under and can I tease out the gold while sleeping the wrist and so it was more so in any language is a particular form of breathing like a hissing where I was speaking even as I was inhaling and exhaling and I had a beer and I was I remember quite clearly watching that passion and the other language that was coming through very much later like last year when I went and saw hitchhike on a hooptie section when she went through things was that I was missing a past life that I’ve had in the Egyptian mystery traditions in so that life was getting confused with me being here and now and now but if we not still. Join us we buy different lifetimes will bleed into the apparent here and now in a way that’s not useful because we haven’t eaten most of the ability to walk in those different Realms 2 walkthrough time whilst leaving things with a minute today yeah that’s very interesting actually was in a meditation group but I went to the one I think maybe just one time I went to this one particular group where they had this skill said that they would apply which was basically this really intentional really highly focused laser focused rotational I gazing where the train meditator would do the sort of left eye to left eye eye gazing with everybody who came to the meditation Circle and there were also practicing or tradition of meditating with your eyes open but they the masters of this path or the adepts of this path they would cultivate I can’t remember the exact methodology that they were following but it was replicable and it was it was very reliable that they could do this in and they would basically be able to once you lock into the eye gazing with them within a few may be a couple minutes of intense eye gazing you start they start to melt away and you start to see them change colors and phase through various genders and and and personalities and and and bodies and faces from there multiple lives and they’re basically scanning and seeing you so it’s almost like you’re you sure it’s almost like you just wear like a deck of cards you know or a deck of it and you just have whatever is in the current consensus reality on the surface of it but if you have one of these meditators going to shuffle your your lifetime Persona ask you no cards and then it’s a real powerful experience so I’m very much in a position to to validate your experience has it in for people who are I don’t know I don’t know how busy I’ve been such a Believer for so long now I just can’t even imagine people who would say that multiple lifetimes or reincarnation is is to woo woo or you out there just makes total sense to me and I’ve had enough I haven’t had what I think some people mainly love Ayahuasca people I know they will the ones who who are the sort of facilitators of Ceremonies some of them I just say a number of them who I know they kind of report this pattern of them if they do the medicine path you know rigorously honestly for however long it takes basically they will start to get through their get through the Karma’s of the current lifetime start going back to previous lives sequentially and then also I think can currently doing work for on behalf of the people that they’ve had car make and take them it’s with over multiple lifetimes so it’s kind of like a you just start polishing one layer after next you know going to this is so anyway that’s very just saw my thoughts to it to validate that experience and I could see how you know that I mean I would like to ask you if it was LSD that cause disorder abrupt jarring Rift and so having comparing your other mainly psychedelic experiences and Explorations do you feel like how do you personally feel in your heart about LSD is that your friend is it your enemy is it your lover is your Trickster yeah I know it was my initial instincts is it was the only state that hit that had triggered at but it’s just so I can go by myself feeling like that differently united life with my partner and I wasn’t going I didn’t think again really into the spice when juicing translate state tax return connect Museum to wake light on after the second episode I didn’t say I would just stop drinking so I can place on anti-psychotic medication so she created Everything Gold fangs because I was really we are you doing anything that might trigger I was seeing a man and he hit some ice and he was going to type it and at that stage in relationship I was still quite greater than my share of triggering my psychosis again triggering psychosis again so I chose to take some don’t much like really small dice it enabled me to really witness and hold the intense emotions that would trigger it and that relationship was a very intense challenging relationship gave me the ability to witness and feel emotion and why I hadn’t even had prior and not react to it was I watching the rolling waves coming and fully feeling of adjusting out in it and so that’s when I started to realize I yeah I see that the usefulness of at least a. At this point in time when it’s not something that I just feel like I need to do any more percent but I have used it again and it has thing fascinating to see what unfolds in the nature of the psyche and your reality I’m sorry I just feel like it’s definitely my friends and I’m curious about it but it’s it’s not one of my allies necessarily oh thank you for sharing that yeah I kind of feel like when I was more of Gonzo psychonaut in early stages in my life and I will go pretty far out with that luckily unlike some of my friends who who had the the misadventure The Misfortune to over like literally not to point of causing any physical damage but overdosing on LSD can happen easier than people anticipate and it can have dire long-term consequences and I’m glad that you obviously reconciled and in and had the other skill sets going to worry didn’t just cause long-term issues but I know people certainly and I think we all probably know some people that they weren’t intending to but it’s easy to overdo it and so yeah I’m glad that are you able to to get to where you’re at but I would save myself to I just I learned a lot from it but but as a I guess I’m way more interested in the time-tested shamanic guided and I would say like I I I don’t feel I like to ask you if you feel like this comparing to the other medicines really I think it’s more of a it’s like the nuclear option you know of and it has a lot of risks associated with it I was saying beautiful things can happen but I just don’t feel like there is a a a spirit guide that’s assigned to that medicine from the greater sort of bureaucracy of Spirit guides and I’ve obviously mother Ayahuasca the sort of Grandfather peyote and grandfather which Yuma and then maybe you know giggly Elvish alien creatures for the mushrooms or whatever but still whatever it is there’s some sub something usually there according to my experience is another people were at work but it just feels like with acid there’s just not there’s not a a sheriff of that realm somehow there’s not right it’s just kind of like you’re on your own I don’t know if that’s it maybe you meet God or you get to see the guide her you’ll meet the deities that you studied if you’re very religious but but you could also get jumped by demons and not get your mind back for like this lifetime so my students it’s worth noting went to when I did at the at least I think I had a quarter for 10 it wasn’t even strong stop imported tonight interesting take at it feels like the whole structure of it and it doesn’t feel like there’s any particular guy with it where is cannabis and mushrooms and it was very much feels like I am communing with a being the plant you know I feel that being with me with the communication begins with the intent and withholding the material which is very different psychedelic Jenny it’s the container and the context and the intention and integration the goal of these things that we wreck around it a crucial and we are so many people that have just taken it with what do none of that so that way they do start to encounter these more terrifying aspects of the psyche of the archetypes of the underworld and what if they don’t have a framing or ways to work with it inside that’s when things can get really not like exploring Consciousness even a ground of a triangle that is safe for a psychic how to manage Instagram those are very good points and I actually it makes me think that we have a lot of a lot of policy and a lot of I think good wisdom that says that you should probably not be drinking alcohol or taking hard drugs or psychedelic set at early stages in life before your brain starts to fully mature and what not but this gives me a sort of food for thought that something I’ve never considered that there be like an age range were there be an upper limit bracket is well aware it’s like okay you have to wait till your message to start doing it but then at this age later you better stop doing it cuz it will be more trouble the FBI could do more harm than good I feel like if there’s one substance that for me it’s kind of like yeah have your fun with acid when you’re when you’re invincible and you’re in your you know late teens or early twenties and what not and taper it off over it’s over time because it can be you can be destructive I think more than the necessary and safe I think safer and and as we’re agreeing both have any more guided more support experiences that have been nurtured for thousands of years with you know even if we’re not in the Amazon or in the the traditional ceremony I still feel like the relationships that previous human beings have built have created a sort of like a landing pad pad for those those helper spirits on Earth and who knows with where we’re at with acid maybe maybe that will eventually happen but but it’ll be up to the youngins is there any way not to put it that down hopefully if anybody’s listening this and they are there really strong Advocates of a regular ongoing serious LSD used and then by all means come and represent that that side of things but with all that said I’m curious now can you tell us about how how did the Tantra proper come about into your journey yoga was going to be cheap out of my recovery let me know when the doctors to speak to a concert with some kind of spiritual experience and then I needed to really deep in my yoga practice I did that and ended up teaching started teaching in 2006 when I was asked to teach inside I didn’t get no matter what because I felt that Judy an obligation to my students and I started reading into studying the traditions of John cheever Ray that I really felt like all that’s woman I can learn from because the way that she taught there is something spontaneously in my practice around that time I went to LA in 2010 to do my teacher training was Sheba and she had Christopher Tompkins who was a tantric practitioner in Scola come on that training and Cheech the Tantra philosophy and practice portion of it and that was when I was introduced to Tantra and it just felt like coming home and Chris he gave us this particular practice which is just a daily a very simplified version of a daily practice that he found and he has been collecting from Kashmir primarily like literally hundreds and thousands of tired so he told us his practice and then he also initiated us and at the time I didn’t realize the importance of that I didn’t you know it was just to make it just a site this thing it wasn’t really a big deal so I came home and just keep doing that practice sporadically for about five years still not really going into 6th until I didn’t want people to think that’s what I was doing so I just quietly and I decided I wanted to do a thousand a practice practice to become a master serious as I want to master and ask legal commitment to show up every single day and then I dropped the ball for various reasons. I made it to 617 days and then drop the bull and I’m now on my 15000 days in a row and today is his it’s just revolutionize my experience of yoga my understanding of it of Tantra and it’s initiated such a date process of literally burning through some scars in, like I feel and about a year ago they internal guidance is like a Caillou really stinks this down time for you to step forward and teach it which not quite scary actually because it’s a whole different way to teach it’s a whole different thing that I’m teaching and then I’m transmitting and because I hadn’t had any contact with Chris and I don’t have it at 8 to hear and use a lymphocyte a big part of me was like can I do that if I can get my hands on and studying and living it I guess but I’m not sneaking with a lineage at this point in time but it’s time you need to skip forward again this side over the last year my experience has been enormously and I will and I have been reading every book I can get my hand on on edits it’s been an extraordinary experience to to Really grasp what it was where it came from how is lost as such and what it means to us and a modern lives now how can we practice the coordinates of the tundra Traditions arrives sorry it’s on you being the last stand up and say I know this stuff and I’m teaching the stuff that I’m bringing it through that’s what I’ve been doing to the last how to use well yeah this is very interesting I find it at it’s is I guess it shouldn’t be a surprise but it is it is a surprise I mean I guess the only way I can kind of reconciled is that the Wilderness is a beautiful documentary called yoga woman and it goes into just how much effort women had to exert resisting patriarchy in order to establish schools led by women to teach yoga around the world like it wasn’t it wasn’t it was a man’s a very patriarchal very hyper masculine secret control thing for a long time and then I don’t know why you wouldn’t expect that you would most people not like in the west they think o yoga that’s that that’s that thing that chicks do you know where something is like actually know I was a super you know control tightly-controlled Cult of male priests that were doing this so that they could you know experience forms of advanced practice that required bodies they were basically able to endure these extreme austerities and his extreme really religious Pursuits but it wasn’t necessarily that was very it’s in the very closed off and I I wasn’t too aware of that history somewhat somewhat sensitive to it knowing a bit about tantric history but just that film yoga woman puts a lot of perspective or you’re like while we take a lot for granted about how westernized things have got but I bring that make that point about that film because it’s it’s it what seems to have happened and I love to have your perspective on this but it seems like this false dichotomy between Tantra and yoga or tantric yoga or yoga or however however people want to mix it up it’s basically that the the more fully integrated Township practices for one within Tantra you have a lot of Shadow work a lot of left hand path a lot of black magic and so when I miss my understanding is a basically Christians and Muslims Came In Waves over the course of centuries and in the process of wanting to colonize and take over and exploit the people in the land of course they’re also having this moral Crusade against the darker forms of Tantra and then now in the modern world of India is the more sanitized versions of yoga are all that really remain above ground and then this country scriptures in the country practice is most of the darker practices have been have been at least band and there’s anti black magic legislation that I’ve read about and a lot of the that the Tantra Mantra practitioners are just selling black magic Services as a sort of snake oil saying in the Glorious more profound shaktism and goddess worship and what we would consider to be the more benevolent and benign path of Tantra that we I think in the west kind of whitewash the darker side of it but it’s it’s like it’s like it’s the whole thing was made Taboo in the whole thing kind of got tainted I suppose in in Worcester wrist and the Glorious aspects of it were sort of sanitized and so like I would just keep saying things like the modern yoga that we know on the in the west is basically the the kids version of Tantra because you’re not caught the whole set of teachings that go along with all the chakras in your not taught taught about the sexual aspect of Awakening Kundalini and the end of the ritual worship of the Goddess that like it’s funny because you say I mean I’m just looking at this in a macro sense of the telephone game at the store should a happens with coaches over time and what we end up with in the modern world in the west and it’s like the the yoga that that I have experienced in yoga studios in classes and with the yogis that are really a bad that I’ve met like again as you mentioned you could go almost decades in yoga and never even hear the word Tantra once and you could also and then even more disturbing to me when I did find honcho is that you could go years into Tantra and never hear the word goddess or Shakti so it’s like now I’m very curious and I know this was kind of a soapbox a little bit for me but I’m also just kind of it’s always interesting to me that moment where are Yogi discovers Tantra and then realizes wait a minute what what why was this why was this in the track at the at the at the movie store it’s like behind the curtain that you’re not allowed to go into and then you discover your like wow I’ve been I’ve been missing out or I’ve been I’ve been denied access somehow so I’m curious just if you could talk about with your mind you reconcile these two words and and in your studies what you feel like is the now that you’re teaching how it how do you tell people ask you what’s the difference between yoga and Tantra I mean the first thing I always wanted for defined as what do they mean by yoga do they actually mean Asuna what do they mean by liberacion this is Chris thing I always wanted to clarify mean someone uses the trip between yoga which is half ways to self-realization alliteration and the tools of yoga which included Asana pranayama chanting meditation but deliberation and if it’s basically a phone or text or identified with doing the perfect posture the very thing that’s me to deliver I do is actually taking you deeper and delusion and illusion Chandra is a methodology or an approach to yoga so if y’all get is self-realization Tantra is an approach to self realization and it’s the fast way it’s like the way that cuts through the bullshit need the thing that is most effective most powerful most recent and my I only do it now for physical reasons it’s like there’s no need for any any other capacity Liberation in so yeah can someone asking me about what’s the difference between a month is not a difference between tantrum you’re the one that it’s an approach to yoga and then I also want to clarify that means you’re actually interested or are you interested in joining us because but it’s not Liberation so don’t confuse I really appreciate that you mention how this is the the way to cut through the bullshit and also that it’s the antidote to living in the Kali Yuga because that’s something that I read in very scholarly works on classical Tantra and the you are very rarely hear people talk about that in Neo Tantra workshops that this is a very tactical and strategic set of really designer tools that that are specifically designed in the way that I liked reading about it was this point being made exactly to your point it is for this time that were in which is extra delusional and extra demonic and just as bad as it can possibly be and maybe it’s going to get worse before it gets better so you better have these very effective tools and basically it’s almost it’s it’s the way that I’ve read about it is that I mean to be a little bit rude even I would say that in the the happier go lucky or Golden Ages in the other wheels of the cycles of time they could be lazy and get away with it because they didn’t have as much Flack and they didn’t have as much resistance and they didn’t have to fight back as much so but from those time more more abundant Divinity on Earth and more benevolence in the cycles of time and then they had the time and they had the luxury to cultivate the tools get the tool kit that they were creating for us to use in this time to fight back in to defend ourselves spiritually so it’s kind of like if we can find this stuff on Discover it and work it and put it to use then we can get through this like karmic swamp that were in now and then if we can survive it as a species that we will have as according to the prophecies according to the this this way of thinking is cosmology then you know our progeny will really inherit a more beautiful time of your more beautiful more Golden Era and but it’s cement what we’re just in the the bottle next year we’re in the in this this Dark Age and so it’s just that he has an interesting concept that all this is a gift that we need to unpack you know it’s basically like a it’s like a time capsule or not Time Capsule but it’s basically like a it was as if they they buried these these these caches for us in the scriptures for us to discover and Unearthed and then apply them almost like we’re you know where Navy SEALS or special forces or something of that nature is kind of way I see it so I appreciate that you that you said that for us cuz I think a lot of people they don’t want to acknowledge they don’t that’s too it’s too much Shadow work for them or they don’t want to I don’t want to kill the five or killed be a buzzkill talking about that that part of it or are you using yogurt to liberate yourself right United Liberation is not about making life better it’s about Liberation to about truth about realization and what I’ve noticed is I need a cheap knowledge he’s for working directly with Consciousness so as one’s a wenis and ability to sense the subtle becomes more more refined prices began working with Consciousness for the someone who’s coming into practice who is living there and then in order to become aware of what is happening in Chinle for themselves I guess it’s just an assignment of being able to be a weird one securing on the inside me and I can start to do the most subtle practices near me because of the point that we apply the practice itself is not the thing the print just simply create the conditions needed for the process of dissolving and unwinding to begin to Heaven prices of dissolving unwinding samskaras in comas and that will happen when we learn how to get out of the way and hold the space which is the whole point of the practice the same as the process that creates the conditions for the process of Liberation to be put into action if you will and then we just have to keep showing up and surrendering rating go and letting it happen and there’s something else that is it in the contract that I just come across recently that like because these practices were secret they weren’t in the cheeks the written down but the chicks are only a loser and describe some of the practices they don’t describe the real secret the real case that was just like you said that they would come a time when it was necessary for these practices to no longer be a secret and actually to be spread far and wine and I feel like we need those who actually care about Liberation most secure about waking up they need to know what’s going on for the my need to know what tools to use I need to know I had a navigate there in the world have never got Consciousness and they need to understand what happens psychologically when people begin to dissolve the SAS guys and comments from previous in this lifetime of course as well and that knowledge I think is it just not out there very much at all okay now I think for anyone listening who hasn’t read it acquires many books or baby hasn’t been down this path so far I could imagine that you’re wondering that you would love to hear now I would love to hear can you go into detail about you know if it’s not too much of a secret now that we’re talking about kind of open sourcing this technology and in the modern world so it’s what is your what is this daily practice look like that you’re doing and then you could go to go from there and say describe I would love to hear in your words what is the outstanding difference in the the the tantric practices that that for Liberation that you are teaching that you have learned in your practicing now cuz it’s 8 for me it’s so interesting every time I try to explain what this is I have to start almost from scratch it’s just like such a naturally kind of elusive infinite con concept and so are every person who brings it brings their definition to me I feel like I’m that that blanks later that that empty cup you know so I don’t so I’m not projecting my headline ocean. It is very obvious just reeling to hear how other people articulate this bass you know a very personalized thanks so please but I’ll meet you before we doing this practice at that rate and so the practices is to warm up links with a blockages are for the brace retention and then it moves into a clearing and a diagnostic running a diagnostic in the clearing on the system using State exams at the chakras and placing them placing the Munsters The Sounds in that area is another way inside its checking in to see what’s clear once blocked what’s going on what’s Happening stage three is the disorder of the dates of the practice and this involves mujras and involves Chun Chang and involves visualization and involves invoking the chassis Shakti and Shiva and uniting them in the hospice and that’s the third stage what I’ve noticed is it’s it’s not super intense car has like three things. I’m out of the system out of the field when that is happening which is simply sitting back and watching what unfolds now that you’ve laid the foundation and done all the other stuff so watching the movement of Shakti Kundalini Prana watching at move around your body watching what the bridge does watching the thoughts of flight paths watching the feelings that come out and staying the witness or consciousness of that important really win the dissolving and the release saying in the unfolding that’s when Visions come through strong emotions in Cecil line healing deep trauma order that stuff will unfold and that last part of the practice so it’s so powerful that mean to keep Knology in the more you do it the more it will be in trigger the prices which is the road to innovation it’s beautiful and it brings me back to my first Tantra classes with Rhoda Jordan who is my initiatrix into Kundalini Shakti energy and rotating the spine and using the Moochers and mantras and movements that were dance movements and various expressions and also the guided visualization so I feel like you could come in off the street and have no esoteric leanings be a total skeptic be a total materialist rationalist agnostic atheist whatever and you could have this very palpable introductory-level I call it like a chakra tune-up a chakra tune-up you know like you were getting your Prana oil changed in your getting your. You know your chakra spark plugs kind of reline and what episode people have this and it is it can I think the the Austin is can be like a good warm-up or a good cool down but in the center or the heart of of a tantra yoga experience it is this massaging and moving of the Kundalini Shakti energy and using the sound to activate and facilitate like a a very unrestrained and very unrestricted flow of a tenor he’s so everything seems like it’s some working in concert in harmony to allow that energy to flow with his little obstruction is necessary it goes to the places where it’s needed most and isn’t just being wasted trying to blast through your stiff neck or something like that you know so I’m feeling just to get for people to get a visual of what were what were you talking about what this what all this is like if you had to if you had to explain it to explain this stuff to somebody who is it super scientific rationale extended believe in any of the magical or mystical or Cosmic elements how would you describe the you note to a doctor what what it is that you’re doing or if you had to do you were doing a corporate retreat in there like we need to know what this is going to entail on like a biomedical level could you translate it to those terms could I change my nothing that right b i g u is a lot to do with that option within the sound is vibrational I mean I really just want people to try it to do it but if I needed so I wouldn’t be able to but it also takes medical terms that I do feel like that’s possible now when it probably wasn’t possible 20 30 40 years ago with the way that science is advancing and quantum physics in particular in their understanding of Neuroscience in the wedding Neuroscience is beginning to understand the brain in different ways and met mystical experience and understand that how to change your mind by Michael Pollan and he’s got some great Bryant Brian science in there that looks like it’s just you know the way that people are frightened the world normally feel like science is stronger and stronger and stronger people just going to get on that label is which is going to really help with the spread of these practices when people start to realize how powerful they are as Technologies for working with Consciousness with working with the Brian working with the nervous system all of us. Will you articular that very well yeah thank you I don’t get it I think it is important cuz it said put some point I’m 100% in agreement with you and the way I would wear that to it is to say that it hits the the woo-woo and esoteric and far out practices of acupuncture and acupressure they’ve been completely accepted into the fold of Western medicine now it will at least to the extent that you can you can put that on your you know on your standard American list of therapeutic things that are basically covered with your help with your health insurance is not considered too far out as alternative medicine and so you know if we can take those Meridian is in those energy lines in if there is also the data backing it up because if there’s enough research done in besides that using the scientific method and they can say well even if even if the actual mechanics of it the quantum mechanics are still somewhat elusive at least we know that there are results in those results are measurable and so it can be validated and and recognized and acknowledged and so I think that the tantric healing particula. The trauma healing modalities will eventually get to that point that acupuncture acupressure is and there will be charts of the chakras in next to the anatomy charts in in the doctors every doctor’s office will just have the sound and I think the only thing that I would add to what you said about just trying to bridge that gap for people who may be total Skeptics is that I was fascinated when it was brought to my attention that the the major are crows and there’s obviously debates about exactly how many there are some people say there’s multiple third eye permutation chakras is obviously just as is many different maps of the chakras is there are lineage is a tantra almost but we’ve kind of mostly agreed upon their being seven major ones but basically it’s it’s it’s been noted in end hypothesize that there actually is situated literally on top of or within or basically at least in terms of the the Distribution on the body there pretty much right in alignment with the endocrine system glands and so the pineal gland that all of that basically going going up and down the spine of the endocrine system and that makes a lot of sense because if in the in the chakra system teaching country you’re talking about these essential personality and information processing organs that the truck was our will that’s exactly what these glands are doing or 10th processing intense amounts of information and also really defining and in programming our experience of reality on a chemical level so that’s that’s definitely very interesting to think about that enter play and so this was a really really awesome expiration and just kind of bringing it accident the fundamentals of Tantra but also helping to to put into context the need for a think you’ve given one of the best polemics so far that I have heard on this podcast about why to get deep into the deep the practices and and really the case for taking yoga to that taking the Austin is to the next level of the tantric practices and so appreciate that and I want to say yes so do you want to just spend sometime kind of giving us if you like to share a sort of closing meditation walk us through some of what you would have to offer an in it in a a training you know take your good however many of you several minutes or more you like to give a sort of either a signature meditation or something just completely spontaneous that would be great but and also either before or after give us your final words in your website links and where people can go to get the book and also anything else you want to say about the book anything else UTI you care to say I’ll let you just take over from here yes it’s Six Flags in my siaga it’s a meanwhile of my recovery from that experience Awakening / psychosis and and understanding of what a treaty was so that’s available on Amazon only online book stores you can get on my cell as well and I have a I have a retreat coming up in Mexico September 29th to October 4th at so I can Hotwire it activation plaid Entre for the modern world I will really be able to join this practice we’re going to take him to practice and really looking at how do we embody unconditional love right that’s the awakened heart Unconditional Love and Truth which is the warrior standing in truth and bringing that 4th and 2 + communities because my senses this world is that the more of us that are able to embody unconditional love in penis after the shift will be on the planet and nothing feels more important than that and grounding it and Tantra practice in an understanding of time should I visit a solid foundation the people to take that understanding and stick back into the communities of one of the limitations to do wish I could. Pointed a wenis one that just came through spontaneously once upon a time that I’ve been using for number B is now so whenever you want to have you sitting and standing with driving how if you’re listening to this podcast just bring your awareness to your breathing just starting to notice what it feels like to breathe really noticing the feel of the breath and your nostrils you might feel it down the back of your throat maybe you feel it under your collarbone so and your rib cage possibly all the way down into your pelvis even your tailbone just noticing nursing what it feels like to braid what does it feel like in your body when you breathe you keeping your wenis on your breath also become aware of your whole body whole body awareness in the crown of your head all the way down to the soles of your faith goodnight is saying what the brakes feels like in your body but all such feeling your whole body front of the body back of the body right side of the body left side of the body and just noticing you noticing any Sensations any pain need a duplex for Delaware to bring the way of your whole body Men start to become aware of the ground underneath the Earth maybe getting a sense of sending root down into the ground just feeling what it’s like to sit on the ground on the Earth getting a sense of the soils underneath you maybe having a sense of the Bedrock with a water table deep it down still aware of your breath we are of your whole body Rosa down three play aware of the earth ground feeling yourself reaching down into as deep as you can go and then retaining awareness of breath awareness of body weenus of ground expensive opening up towards the sky beginning to expand your wenis outwit and upwards all the way to all the way to the Earth’s atmosphere beyondmenu all the way to the Moon Beyond maybe all the way to the planets to Sun and even issue expand outward upward to the sky to the infinite Universe still aware of the ground still aware of your whole body and still aware of your breath holding all of them New Orleans Saints All Saint Grant body sky now you sound tourist center of it all even as you remain aware of it all sending out so much love to you all thank you so much being for this opportunity to stake into share thank you so much yes I was beautiful and always appreciate meeting new folks doing this great work and learning new ways of articulating this mysterious technology but this was one of the best one of the best times I’ve had learning and getting acquainted and appreciate it so much and hopefully we will be in touch and you always feel welcome to come back anytime you have things you like to share updates and yeah looking forward to turn off Liam’s sharing and in supporting each other’s efforts I’m going awesome again for you feel free anytime to reach out in the future and I wish you the best of luck in all of your endeavors and will talk to you hopefully soon thank you so much I took care that is a r a l e a h. Com listening to the podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Township Park. Com Thomas Day

The Revolt of the Cum Slaves with Bitch Goddess Grace Diaz TPP209

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In this episode I’m joined by Grace Diaz who is standing strong in her Bitch Goddess power to tell a story of rebellion against the forces of patriarchal narcissism, manipulation, intimidation, and abuse. In this scandalous sexpose, she takes a constructive, conscious,  proactive approach to raising awareness about the larger cultural issues. Her demands for justice transcend her own personal gain, and she’s working to support and liberate all women.

The issues that are brought up are raw and extreme, but the sad truths must be brought to the light. I bow down to her courage to speak out, and it’s an honor to hold space on the podcast for her to share her story. We’ve been through a lot of powerful material together on the podcast and our sense of solidarity increases every time.

About Grace:

My passion of healing began at the age of ten, when my father, a Reiki Master of 20 years initiated me as a Reiki Master in Medellin, Colombia. For years after arriving back to the United States, I began teaching Usui Reiki all over the east coast.

Reiki lead me to Tantra. I was introduced to Shakti-Pakti-Tantric-Yoga by my Guru Tafari Sudra, in 2011, and it allowed me to heal my 10-year eating disorder. Our organization, YONI GRACE, LLC was birthed in 2012 when I felt the burning need to share the wisdom I was experiencing through Yoni Breathing.

In 2012 Grace began distributing Yoni Eggs wholesale worldwide and teaching thousands of women how to run a Yoni Egg business from home!

Grace hosts Yoni events in the Las Vegas area and internationally. In 2016, she was privileged to be hosted in Istanbul, Turkey. There, Grace and 35 Muslim women participated in a weekend workshop of the Yoni Egg practice with Yoni Yoga. Her classes are one of a kind and focus on helping women embrace their innate sensual wisdom for spiritual and physical wellness.

Please visit her website at:
https://yonigrace.com/  

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear beloved’s welcome to Tantra Punk podcast episode number 2 0 9 this is a very interesting show again with Grace Diaz who is going to tell all in a sort of very a very scandalous sort of sex pose a talking about issues that she has been confronting that or you could say or within and Beyond the me-too movement and different experiences and insights having overcome some pretty heinous treachery on the part of an individual who will remain unnamed but who she is in a sort of psychic battle with for the soul retrieval shamanic healing work needs to happen for her to restore her her true dignity and her her highest glory and grace as independent Sovereign woman in charge of your own destiny and I’m very proud to be instrumental however I can to support that process for all women and certainly I am a a defender of the only Temple because I myself have been a Survivor and in ways have been violated and abused in and taking advantage of often or in many ways that women who have been victimized and who are survivors have so I have that compassion I have that ability to commiserate and I also am on a path of personal healing and transformation that would continue to inform me about the importance of composting the patriarchy starting with myself and really figuring out ways that I can always be getting stronger hopefully always be getting wiser but also be giving back and also be helping in any way I can and just hoping for the best sort of case studies and caseloads to be applying myself too and I think that Grace’s is absolutely outstanding as one of the women who I dearly respect and honor and believe in the work she’s doing is so important to where she’s doing and I feel like when you tell we need to give prayers and help part the seas to make this path of empowerment and Liberation continue smoothly and for all of the all of the forces that are working against this movement of Liberation for them to be on all the forces seen and unseen for them to be really bound and and kept really in a place of safe distance for their own healing and transformation in processing so that there’s not a constant depletion of energy having to fight all these uphill battles with the Patriarchs who have so much the the the game board skewed and their favorites like such a rigged game in this casino of patriarchy and the more you peel back the onion just the more Sinister it gets so this episode gets into some pretty raw territory and I hope you can bear with it and understand that this is serious business in you know you start taking on these Empires and you got to watch your back so send his prayers with do this together like do you like the revolts of the dancers at the Jabba the Hutt bar and be like Princess Leia and use that chain let’s use those change to choke out our oppressors and give free all right with that said thank you very much enjoy the show Namaste good morning I’m glad I am live on my YouTube I made it my dogs don’t bark in the background how are you been I’m doing very well yes so that’s exciting new developments going on and just thrilled to be alive and just thrilled to hear about this expose that she have planned and I’m trying to think about what to call it it’s as trying to think of something like mess with a bitch goddess and you get the… I can say this now because I didn’t have I don’t have this password anywhere but literally one of my password was I’m a bitch goddess yeah make it make your passwords or a long complex daily affirmation that only you understand that’s a good one Beauty forced to give the positive reinforcement I like it okay so let’s talk about it so I got my letter in the mail so I’m going to fill in everybody who doesn’t know what’s going on when I’m talkin about I know you know the details so I’m going to just cover in a really you know like just just so everybody knows what’s going on so I was in a relationship for 6 years I was pretty much unaware that the disproportionate power dynamics were a problem I at the time when I was in relationship to this person who you know like the whole thing with the with a female movement and and fighting against like a charcoal abusive power like I was cool with they’re being disproportionate power dynamics because I thought that I joined that power source and it was going to be and it was like my power to you know what I mean like I didn’t know that that power is going to be used against me and so a lot of people say and I’m talking about an older gentleman that you know a prominent attorney in in Maryland former judge and I was in relationship to him for 6 years very beautiful relationship until I really started discovering the like I was I was basic basically a narcissistic supply for him and I didn’t know that I was a narcissistic supply for him until I stopped supplying him because I started growing beyond my young twenty-two-year-old naive self at the time he was like in his late sixties and so I was with him because I thought that he could help me because he was helping me and he was so adamant about supporting me and helping me go through school and helping me you know start my business and everything like that and so I thought that I was joining the disproportionate power source and I want to make that really clear because there are a lot of women these days that join it’s it’s like it’s like you joining an institution it’s like you you think that the institutions going to be on your side you know if you’re not here if you think you are you know what I mean and so that’s where I was coming from I was coming from you know like everything’s honest and transparent everything’s authentic everything is being spoken aloud between me and my partner and so I am just like many girls I believe you know who put themselves in these situations and everyone’s like no don’t do it like you so much older than you more money than you he has so much more legal power than you don’t do it don’t do it and I’m like why would I not do that like she can she can really help me and he does really love me so you know… You’re the antagonist to telling me not to do it you know what I mean when really what a lot of these people are trying to do is really help you and nnn because this unfortunately did SKU against my favor and I am you know if you didn’t see my other coming out video I talked about a gag order that I received once me and him broke up and I unfortunately signed it under duress I was very I don’t want to go over too many of the details but pretty much that’s like the backstory and so anyway so I opened an investigation with this against the person because a lot of the behavior that they wanted me to hush about a lot of illegal activity and he was he’s just afraid that I’m going to speak out and so here I am speaking out because he put me in a position where you wanted to silence me two years ago by me being depressed about what to do about this having no legal aid or support at all and so I decided to open an investigation and put the power in my hands and really take care of this motherfucker so that’s the backstory well congratulations for stepping out in and breaking the silence and I know that all is divine blessings will be coming your way to help with all that’s needed and this is just the tip of the iceberg and it’s the entire imagix think of a Jabba the Hutt and I just think they were all in this Cult of Jabba the Hutt because this Dynamic with young women and club culture and I know it’s all throughout Vegas and you just see I’m in Vegas is sort of the the Dream the ultimate Global masculine dream of being able to be a guy who is successful in business or what whatever and then basically is able to have this pseudo Harem of of skimpy skimpy dressed model-esque women who were pretty much just either totally vacant mentally or they or even if they’re not that kind of have to fake it and play like that because who would actually be entertained by people in that this guy sounds like an actual like he has redeeming qualities and then he’s not the the the the lowest slug sloth of a of a male that’s ever lived which makes it more painful I’m sure because then there is some attention City to it and even more heartbreaking because if he was at if he was just a bastard through and through then it wouldn’t be it will be probably less painful to go through but this is what I’ve learned with my research with dealing with narcissists there’s three different kinds of narcissists there’s the ones that like Donald Trump it’s like out your face and everyone knows it and then there’s the covert narcissists like The Bill Cosby they talk about you know like morality that talk about empowerment empowering the community and then they’re actually like raping women behind the scenes you know and so that’s the category in which I would put this fellow into and he is a covert narcissist and even though he on the service doesn’t look like the lowest scum in my opinion I really believe that specifically these types of covert narcissist build their whole lives assembling a a portrait of how good they are because internally they believe they know actually that they are the lowest scum you know like that’s there at least obviously nope no human is scum like there’s no City like I personally don’t believe that any human being even though you may have done some of the worst things ever like on a soul level on a on a on a truce like the ultimate truth level every person has a spirit and soul and we’re here basically trying to demonstrate her lessons were here to try to demonstrate our understanding our our Consciousness pass you know the stream of Consciousness that we’ve been through for so many lifetimes maybe perhaps and I don’t believe that you know any person is is release come we’re just trying to figure things out and so obviously he’s not scum like deep down inside he believes he is like that’s what a covert narcissist really believes on a very unconscious level you know he doesn’t he doesn’t even know that he thinks about himself but that’s why he’s put his whole life and trying to be a legal superhero you know especially till like the black community and everything like that and and look what he was doing behind-the-scenes he would he basically and my my response to this investigation because I do have to submit a response to which is basically just talking about how all of his efforts go into selecting women to be with that are disproportionately less educated than them that are disproportionately significantly younger than than them like I’m 45 years younger than him you know like that’s a lot that’s a lot that’s like Beyond what’s even normal for like large gaps you know disproportionately like even even me being Colombian like like no one in my family knows anything about law here you know what I mean like no one no one in my family knows like the court system necessarily like how to actually like do things you know because we’re not really from here and then and I really do think that that actually is a turn-on for a lot of these you know that getting that narcissistic Supply getting that narcissistic Supply specifically for this person like that was that’s a turn-on to have someone disadvantaged to be with because you don’t pose a threat to them yeah I hear that mean I think it’s the same archetype of the whole mail-order bride thing and you know I watch the documentary all about how in Southeast Asia the new cash crop isn’t race anymore it’s young women and families will basically cultivate their daughters to be sold off either into urban brothels or there’s a s’more sort of what I would call a lighter form of sex trafficking and then documentary they show that end this Village in Thailand every year they have a foreign husband of the Year festival and men compete and they go there they go they’ve basically they bring the wives that they exported these young women they exported them out of their village community as a cash crop export products and then the ones that were the most well-to-do and whatever the most handsome or dashing whatever it is they come back in a group several and they come back with their wives that they took out of the Village Inn compete for a sort of crown and there’s a big party in Festival like a traditional big let you know that kind of Festival event and you see that that I think I watched that guy the interview he was like 3 time winner in a row or something like that and just take this is such gnarly Twisted abuse and you know if anything they should just like take all that power and wealth in literally don’t take the woman out of her family and Village and take his ass over there and have them a Keisha pekid by their Village back from the corrupt government he could actually help people instead he’s just parading around and taking her to Disney World or whatever so and fucked up a thirty-year-old now you know when I was 22 at the time and I was with this individual I basically I didn’t understand I didn’t understand how this could go against me like I didn’t understand the stage that I was playing you know according like Shakespeare and everything like I didn’t understand my stage like I didn’t understand that it was so our groneck then about this whole situation the most ironic thing is that I am a female empowerment like leader so it would get it like how could I not you no speak out break my silence against this mother fucking stupid gag order contract that really attempted to just Sally my work solely my you know my voice and everything and and so anyway and so it was you know I just I just really didn’t understand what I was getting into and now this this man I’m just so grateful that women are really stepping out women are really biting their voice because this is true like there’s so many needs to women and and I I don’t even like labels I don’t even like killing myself necessarily A me too but that’s really the category that I feel most identified with because I feel like this all happened in secret and my only voice is coming out publicly and talkin about it my only voice is to be able to say Hey you know I went through this and I right now I’m trying to fight it by holding this person accountable and what interesting actually about this individual’s response regarding this investigation that’s going on is that he’s really just trying to portray me as being hysterical as me being hysterical that’s really all he has he says that I’m trying to extort him that I’m trying to threatened him and all of that and so honestly you know whenever you whenever the disempowered party uses their power really was interesting about this whole situation now with the me-too movement is that now the power Dynamic is starting to be a little bit more even-keeled and that is so frightening to the other to the abusive party you know what I mean and so I’m just I’m basically just talking about this like even talk about this right now it’s like I’m a little nervous like I’m a little like but even just talking about it like I’m it’s scary you know what I mean and I’ve silenced myself I’ve gone along with the stupid contract for like 2 years and me finally get into this place where I can’t even talk about it even in this vague sense is scary you know and I didn’t do anything wrong I’m not doing anything wrong but I have this fear of speaking out against this gag order contract. I don’t abide by I don’t respect it I don’t believe it I was in such a horrible place and everyone knew it I had no legal support at all and so yeah and so basically you know me talking about this this is very very helpful and I appreciate it band and it’s a little scary but I’m very grateful that you’re letting me you know talk about it with your audience to so my viewers are saying that they’re bored with me talking about this they’re saying they’re bored I’m thrilled because this is this is the kind of fun this is the boldness that is that if it’s take if you worship the fierce goddesses then you will be emboldened and you will stop taking shit and you will let the sword of truth / down the Egos and the demon real estate the demons in and as far as I’m concerned you know this whole concept that you can use the apparatus of the state I mean I’m an anarchist and I believe that human beings are intelligent enough and and sweet-hearted enough to at the right scale of a village basically solve our problems collectively and have consensus in our decision-making did not have the shadow authoritarian violence backed forces of the of the Empire to protect the private property and wealth of elite classes I don’t believe in any of that shit and even if you got it from a doing good things if you’re going to use it to I mean I see this all the time it’s it’s rampant in the activist communities it’s rampant in that the punk rock movement that I’ve been in at everybody has every man every man has got their hands in the cookie jar of minors and also like I can specifically remember times in my life when I had a lot of young women all around me because I’m in a band and you know there’s this weird disproportionate population pyramid in the punk rock scene where it’s like most of the bands are made up of men and that’s likely changing to an didn’t beautiful movements right girl excetra where it where women have formed all girl bands and creative niches within the genre but but that was a backlash to but basically the standard. I’m in that in the music scene the name a punk is it it’s like it isn’t a pretty somewhat balance ratio of young men and young women teenagers who get into the scene when they’re you know when they’re rebelling against their parents and they’re going to high school and they’re sharing mixtapes and things to make it into it but then because of the inherent sexism in the scene it’s really only men who teach each other to play instruments for the most part and and so they dominate the the actual bills on the shows and they dominate just being the musician so what happens is because the guys stay in the bands by the time everyone else grows out of it by the time they get real jobs and have real families like they stop going to shows I stop partying all the time so you’re left with this this population pyramid where it’s like a lot of Aging Men playing their instruments being the rockstars and there’s no women who who follow them up that age curved it’s only man staying in the band so they only have access to all the time women so I’ve been in that reality for decades now and I’ve outgrown those you know that there’s there’s not there’s not a lot of women there are some and believe me I worship them their goddesses they’re bad asses vocalist and guitarist bases drummers you name it but they’re also fighting an uphill battle to not be raped and not being molested and abused and sexually be respected in the scene and I cherish them all and I’ve worked with many of them I play in bands with women and they kick ass and they fucking prick everybody to shame but this the point I’m making is that I’m from another sector this is like you could be the most self-righteous you know conscious political activist whatever and really most guys as far as I’m concerned don’t even know how to not put their hands in the cookie jar because it’s it’s so if that women can be young and seductive and they can be it in blacked out and there’s just like recipes for disaster everywhere it sounds like you had a not as debaucherous of a of a journey is I’ve been apart of what I’ve been a part of a lot of these abuse allegation Community resolution issues where we didn’t use the government or the state or lawyers because we were anarchists and we believe that we saw her Camino problems together as a community and people sometimes got beat down people some cat X got run out of town people sometimes were given opportunities to earn Redemption by doing service work in the community and working and rape crisis centers and actually getting re-educated from the ground up so I’d hope that there would be pressure from a larger community and yes the me-too movement but they scab that image when you saying that you feel you know nervous it’s like I think we’re at a Tipping Point where where the the thousands of little fish make that big one giant fish and together they all and swallow the one bully fish that was bigger than each of them individually right and thank you for saying all of that I am so what’s interesting is that one of the people on here just said so what do you want I think that’s a really good question like I should focus on what what do I want from that situation so what do I want from the situation so I don’t really believe that this covert narcissist ever going to apologize is ever going to recognize how much of a fucking bully he is how much of his patterns you know and in all of that I don’t think he’s ever going to acknowledge that in previously what I wanted was for him to cease this three-year timeline because I’m on the contract he specifically constructed a three-year timeline even after we broke up to have me hanging on a string because he purchased things for me you know I purchase a vehicle we purchase certain things for me that were really his and so he was just giving me money to pay for the things that she got me that I wasn’t ever responsible for paying anyway and so he just kind of was giving me little chunks of it 3 years out and you know I really argued to just have one you know just just close everything out just pay for everything one lump sum he could have done that but you can give it to me you got to just close down his account like the car payment for example just close that and so what he did was he did the 3-year timeline to keep me hanging so originally what I wanted was just get rid of that that 3 year timeline because it was suffocating me I couldn’t I couldn’t I just felt like I was under his under under his word like under his Timeline under his contract under his thing you know and I didn’t like that so what I want now now that this three-year timeline is pretty much over why I feel more comfortable talking about it is I just really want to share this message with women I really I really want to be comfortable sharing my story which I’m not still which is why it’s so vague and everything I want to be really comfortable sharing my story I want to relate to women that it’s okay to fight against the grain I want to call wish my book How The vaginal voice reclaim your story which is basically the story in more detail and lessons and and and breathing and had a really transmute at all that’s really what I want I really want at least use the lesson that I have all the pain that I have felt I want to use it in some way to translate it so that other women can kind of take my Consciousness and apply it to the bullshit they may be going through with other narcissistic you know Outlets other narcissistic men and women even so that is a very weird too cuz I think a lot of survivors of all kinds of abuse in trauma find that purpose and it’s the only way really to transcend whatever degrees of self-doubt or shame you know to it it’s take it takes a lot of boldness to overcome that shame for sure by speaking out about it but I keeping it inside and letting it Eat You Alive and you know I don’t I don’t talk about it publicly but I need to get comfortable doing that you know and I’m so anyway so I just want to say this to all the men that are following me cuz I have a lot of you know if you want to lift a woman up you will reap so much positive Karma I mean you will reap so much positive even another man children if you lift them up but if you if you intentionally strategize a way to suppress and oppress someone that is so going to come back to you like so much harder I mean this the person that I’m talking about May potentially not be able to practice law anymore I mean I don’t know what the consequences will be one of the specifics that I would like to highlight that is being investigated right now is that when I went when I attended one of his speeches cuz he gave speeches all around Washington DC and Baltimore actually really Nationwide but memes specifically in those two places so I went with him one time to DC and he was getting up an actual speech on police brutality he and I were driving back from the Washington Monument where he gave his you know his thing and he had someone else he was living with somebody else at the time you know he feel like a decade he was with somebody else already and I knew that already together for several years but he always wanted me to be quiet when this other person called because he was trying to give the illusion that he was always by himself obviously he wasn’t and so my phone made a noise in the car and I was already pissed at him it was already towards the end of our relationship and and so he he swung his hand at me and it smacked me in the face he was trying to I think you’re trying to get my phone or maybe he really was trying to hit me I’m not really sure but either way he smacked me in the face so hard that it gave me a bloody nose and so she immediately said it was my fault like the first thing you do if you have a bloody nose is you say my bad didn’t mean to do that that wasn’t what I was trying to do something that communicates you weren’t trying to do that you know what I mean at minimum if not apologize as well right he just kept on saying how it was my fault the whole time because he knows I should have known I knew my phone should have been on silent it was my fault so that’s what’s being investigated right now is was he intentionally trying to hit me you know what I mean cuz that would that’s the mean that would be a really big deal so because he didn’t apologize because he said it was my fault even at the time I I stayed quiet and I didn’t record it I mean four years I didn’t say anything because I just took it as he’s just angry just stay quiet just you know he’s just upset just you know it was a mistake but that was me really covering up all of this narcissistic skewed power Dynamic situation you know me playing along with it and so when I opened up this investigation also you know what fuck this I’m going to really tell tell the story like it really what I just said it just like this I reported it right and so that’s what’s actually being that’s I think the main thing what I believe is the main thing is being investigated from him along with many other any other things that I think should also go looked at but it looks like this is just being highlighted which you know is is fine I guess but yeah so what’s interesting is that this person even though he’s a lawyer he completely lied and made up a story and his response back about it that just made me look hysterical and he said that I was trying to grab the wheel and you try to protect yourself from me actually and that’s why he hit me I feel like a courtroom drama is such a theater of bullshit art anyway it’s just it makes me think of what you just said that it makes me think that it’s it’s a it’s a tragedy that the people who actually represent their clients and have to tell these ridiculous stories that are the that you know I mean I’m going to take your word for it because I just have that bias I’m sorry I take I take women’s words after I take I take one with the word what is it what’s that word you say not unquestioningly but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt in this in this case I give you the chance to the doubt and we’ll start there and then it and then it’s funny because I was just thinking right now so you just described your telling of that incident and it makes me want to see in a courtroom it’s like the future of of courtroom drama okay like you have a Hollywood production crew and they get models and actors in and it a whole production crew together to actually make a historical re-enactment docudrama of just that that scene and then after the after you get to show yours your docudrama this evening we get to watch his it’s like you’re screaming for swerving and people are like like women walking with the with their carriages and dogs suffer like screaming and running and having to jump into the fountain and oh my God yeah just like any narcissist portrayed himself like the victim and even though so not a victim I mean this man is millionaire I mean he’s very highly educated he’s in the position of power in the community he’s a mentor to like other officials in the community other governmental officials and you know it’s it’s really the biggest question that I have is why would someone like that want to be in a relationship with someone so societally disempowered like like myself I mean I was in a societal no position at the time like I was I was really a nobody you like what would turn you on like that’s what I really want to know like now that I look at it from hindsight like why would that really turn you on if you would someone like that and it’s because of the power Dynamic it really is what turns them on it’s that they have more power that’s it so has nothing to do with the other person right to have somebody be your equal obviously it takes half your power away when you can be when you don’t see them as your equal or they don’t stand up for whatever reason in your case not because you were extremely introverted or shy but probably more just that you were younger and figuring out life and you know then that’s another another for predators that’s I think you’re kind of yours it’s just it’s honestly Brown like it’s really disgusting yeah well that’s it’s really an and I was practically homeless at the time as while I was living out of my friend’s closet shuttle walk-in closet that was empty and I was that was where I stayed was with my friend I mean with interesting if I got it I got a question for you will come back to it so what’s interesting is that in this does have to do with my particular role in the situation but what I did which I hope every woman does the situation of really anyone who’s in a disempowered situation you have to use the tools are being given to you in order to lift yourself up and so I did start my own business he tries to take full credit for that he also tries to take full credit for my bulimia being healed you know he he always and that was actually one of the reasons why the breakup was was so like a seal the deal like he kept on saying to me you know I was really what I was writing my book and I started publishing it and I was talking about my bulimia being here. He started saying to me I healed it you know that it wasn’t it wasn’t you it wasn’t your practice it wasn’t anything that you were doing I healed and he said it so many times it was just so it just it just made me like see him clearly for the first time you know and so my advice that really anyone in a disempowering situation like that is really just to use whatever tools and resources are being provided to you use them to your benefit and I was able to walk away with the business I was able to walk away with more education I was able to walk away feeling in this order that I had I was able to walk away with more confidence with more understanding I was able to walk away also at with with with a reputation and my reputation it is working with women and now is working with men to doing the lingam breathing thing I just started doing that like a year ago but they’re saying leave the trauma well that’s about it so yeah so that’s that’s pretty much everything been you know I’m I’m I’m still trying to get comfortable talking about it I’m still trying to make cheese with the situation so the if we were to this is all say what you had a couple questions weren’t you know talking about what is what is it that these men in the end I think it’s just you know a kid in a candy store if you can get to that point I mean from my perspective I think what happens is most men in their horniest and most viral life years are also the most broke the most pimply the highest pitched voices and the most socially awkward and really unattractive to women as they’ll ever be so it’s really it’s a really bizarre mind-fuck to be a horny teenager and have no game and have only certain jocks with clear skin be the ones who get to be the prom King and they tend and they tend to do what people call peaking in high school meaning you think you’re that you know King of the Hill and you can hear the king bully or whatever the king jock and you get to be the prom king and you get you in the popularity contest and you get laid on you know on prom night or whatever but then after that you kind of go downhill and you just kind of lose your your mojo and you just join the workforce and you just reminisce on the old football days or whatever and you don’t really continue to strive and to achieve and to impress women maybe you’re locked into a sexless marriage and you know of any search Just For Men is about impressing women like on a subconscious level is that like whatever it is that like the power game like trying to get power I think you’re getting that you’re getting at it for sure which to me I have my psychoanalysis on myself and I can try to transpose this and and project it to a degree around me after my you know brother Circles of men’s groups and Tantra Meetup to know that it’s like the trauma I think with men is that because their ends up being a very disproportionate level of sexual starvation during your Peak years of sexual of what should be your sexual prowess and really only a handful of men get to experience that glory and then what happens is you just rot inside and you become obsessed and it takes maybe many failed marriages and many decades to become a professional success and then finally once your boner start getting soggy have money you have power and now your voice is a little bit lower your skin is in his pimply and your face isn’t do you don’t have baby fat on your face anymore and so you are becoming more attractive to women but also you have a SOG your boner and and honestly the aura of younger women in their Prime in their fertility Prime gets men’s dicks hard after they’ve gone soggy in 40 and above years so that is like this this weird kind of like sick joke that that Creator create Rick’s goddess I don’t know God whatever like Evolution whatever it it makes this interesting inverse situation and it really makes everybody lose in the modern Paradigm because if we were to acknowledge the Arc of male testosterone and also acknowledged The Arc of female fertility then we would celebrate older women being cougars and fucking younger men who are more Vero and we would celebrate older men getting your dick hard with younger women who are who are more fertile and that would solve a lot of problems are you interested in dating in your fountain of youth exactly you’re the Fountain of Youth there you go man who is making a lot of powerful decisions that I could be a feminine softener like I could saucin him a little bit because he was he probably is like he usually very hyper mess he let you know and he still is hyper masculine very hyper masculine and I did it it did turn me on to know that I was with a powerful man and I could be some type of Aid to him in my naivete well I will yeah I’ll tell you I’ve been in this is actually an awesome so we’re getting into some really you know I’ve got Goose Bumps thinking about this because this is the truth and the Heart of the matter that we have to explore to be honest as a culture about these Dynamics cuz that look at the Dos Equis commercial and I’m like yeah give me a fuckinbreak you know come on what is this really about is this guy or earned the respect of these women are those all his granddaughters you know what the fuck is going on here you know we all have that like sort of what the fuck is this guy doing at this bar with his 10 granddaughters what is it like you know what the hell is no ionic and it’s it it is really disgusting and disturbing because he used to an innocent with a narcissist will do to try to position his environment to mirror his power back to him and so he would say things like that to me like oh you know it’s it it turns you on that you know people see us and they think that you know I’m taking advantage of you and it turns me on to know that you know the real story and you know that I really take care of you and I really love you and I really all these other people were looking at us on the outside you know fuck them I was like that’s what I felt like I feel like this is proportionate power dynamics between us I didn’t see them because I thought I was part of his power now like I I thought I was he was part of my power and I was part of his power that’s what I thought with joining forces with him you know what I mean and in my naivete in my in cuz that’s what he led me to believe and what’s interesting is that he used to say to me a lot used to say you know I it’s about protecting me you don’t protect me baby it’s about protecting me for acne protect me when I would you know carry drugs with him and travel with him and put the you know the drugs up my pussy for him and do all this illegal bulshit with him he used to say Protect Me protect me like me take the hit like basically he was he was grooming me for years to take the hit for him you know and I always knew that and I hated that I hate that you would put me in that position but as the subordinate in that situation as the you know as as the the less or equal one I I would give you what you would say and I didn’t have family around me I think would also would also made him want to be with me is that I didn’t have family around me I didn’t have a man I didn’t have anyone around me you know I live around me a little bit of the time but she didn’t really do anything either like no one did anything like no one did anything and you know the whole the whole relationship with him grooming me to protect him so that I could take the hit if something ever happened I’m leaving out a lot of details that’s well that’s a very good stuff very interesting now I don’t think anyone forward after hearing about you shoving drug drugs up your pussy to protect the man is I mean in and I can commiserate because I will tell you I was in a similar relationship Dynamic with a woman who is ridiculously wealthy beyond my wildest imagination and I was in a relationship Dynamic with her that was very powerful sex magical power couple manifesting you know really the living the dream and she was almost 20 years older than me and I would say there was a real sincere beautiful love and adoration mutually going on but there’s also some subtle undertow currents going on of me basically waking up one day discovering that I had been tricked into being a come slave and that she was harvesting my seed in order to rejuvenate her Essence and that is something known to the Chinese Taoist and there are women who were empresses in The the more classical ancient age of Chinese sexual Kung Fu amongst the Imperial class and women were were known to actually like men alive with their pussies and kill them by sucking and Driver season almost dead I was like a tripled up and I had to go to hospital no it wasn’t that bad but you made you come like ever they all the time so nuts what will swallow it into the into the fine tissues it for a for vaginal canal and you know otherwise but you know mainly it’s it’s the way it gives you gets absorbed in Mexico older women are lusting and they getting these passionate make it into heat you know wild passionate fiery heat for the Young Bucks seed and the Chinese knew that it may take out get this the Chinese we have this it it’s something some people have tried to myth busted but supposedly there’s this mythical Cult of the white tigress and the white tigress Cult of essential Chinese types of yoginis you would say they understood these Dynamics and they had an astrological clock work of how they would ingest in I don’t know why but nothing just sit in their ass but at least they in the mouth in the vagina they were ingesting taking in male semen but they knew that they need to have a certain ratio of older more refined more semen retention men they were so they would have an older guy at a certain phase of the moon and then 10 younger guys at it another phase of the moon and basically they were figuring out how to like nurse themselves as if this is like a you know I mean it really is that guy that the semen is filled with nutrients that’s what is called Baby battery you know that’s not us that’s no joke another stick important nutrients in there and so it should be a beautiful Dynamic and when you look at what they’ve done with that culture you know they understood these things and if you were a man and you didn’t want to be you no SEC drive your semen you have to learn semen retention to survive the Wrath of the fucking and so it’s like this said that they call it the flowery Battlefield you know him and that’s how they eat that’s how they collided with poetic language of the war of the Sexes but sexual Kung Fu flowers Battlefield in are they had they had no, that’s for the Jade egg comes from when we were talking about sophisticated sex with Warriors we can figure it out again and you have kind of like yeah you’ve broken free and now you are like resurrecting that the power of the witch witches to actually run this stuff and I don’t I don’t blame her but it was sad because of a certain point I was like you know I’m learning more about Tantra I’m learning at that I’m getting to a point where I need to stagger my my release you know a little bit and so that was just to see if she lost her fucking mind as if I took away her heroin and it was just like she went crazy and it all went downhill and we broke up and it was extremely ugly and there was total Madness cuz you just wanted to come last that was a part of it then and then she wanted me to reverse my vasectomy in and I said no you are doing black magic and I can feel that you’re doing black magic to try to get Knocked Up by me so that you can keep me for around forever which I am I told you I’m polyamorous is not going to happen oh my God it’s like I hope I hope no one’s hearing this everybody to shut this off and deleted file or not we have got to come clean about these secret bedroom psychodrama the monado Pathak he used to do now since we’re talking about this so he used to say to me when we were having sex and mind you he always had to be on top of me always he always wanted to be looking down at me or you will say to me at the hot the climax of my orgasm he would say you know you want to get pregnant he would say you know I want to get you pregnant you know you’re my come slave you know your he was just sleeping ideas into me to make me fall for him all the time and then again making that power Dynamic more skewed as much as possible and so me being naive at the time I took everything he said no but he’s my man you know I love him he’s my man if he wants me to be his come slave I’m going to be home slave like I literally like I just took I didn’t think about anything he was saying to me as being a ways of positioning me to be more submissive to him to be I mean I knew that I knew that I knew that I was being submissive to him you know because he was my man and everything and and I loved him and anything you said to me I just wanted to make him happy I just wanted to make him give him what he wanted I didn’t see it as that black magic that you were talking about and so some of the things you would say to me sometimes some of the things you would slip in I would look at myself and be like does he did he really say that does he really want me to do that in me you would start talking about my friend you know you want to lick her pussy and like trends that I really didn’t want to do that with like friends I really didn’t have any interest in having threesome with or anything like that I’m so he would just slip things into me slip slip things in my psyche specifically when I was about to come like that’s really important you know and cuz you’re so you’re highly suggestible at that time like you can take any suggestion and in real you’re taking it in like your brain waves are or like sleep weight like when you’re dreaming there like your brain waves are in a much more you just absorb more when you’re in that frame of mind and so he would say that to me and now looking at it in hindsight he was really was just trying to brainwash me really you know I mean this was every day for years you know what I mean he always forced me to smoke weed before we had sex I didn’t want to I was like I don’t want to and I really do believe that now the issues that I have with marijuana like I really stepped back to that situation because he used to he literally stuff like physically coerce me like physically like he didn’t like push me but he would like to kind of would like even if he would just really like put me in situations and be like okay just take it just take a hit just do it and then he would want to have sex with me so that my mind would be even more open to suggestions from creep adelic shit and now I realize we’re going to have to name this podcast abolishing come slavery or you’re both of the come slaves cuz we both what your focus becomes today yeah okay alright fuck it is going to fly it’s going to fly just like that we’re going to we’re going to I was going to think of something very prudent and the moment you know she wasn’t on your team Edward and I would have died for I would die for him I would have littorai I love this man so much I was going to name my baby after him I’ll do a braid my baby’s hair just like his hair I was going to do all this stuff to just honor and commemorate him forever I was even trying to get a mural done of him on the side of a building in Baltimore that I just thought he deserved it that he did so much for the community but he deserved it but again behind the scenes he’s fucking up women did you receive the Malcolm X did you see the Spike Lee Malcolm X film with Denzel Washington I think you should really really watch that like really soon because that and show Girls as I mentioned before Showgirls will give you that sort of that cynical view on the the underbelly of Vegas for sure and kind of like bolster your your it’ll kind of inoculate you against a lot of the Vegas bulshit but if you see if you are shot Malcolm X it’s really a great film and you learn so much from it you know I can’t say from my studies how historically accurate is but it is really moving and like one of the things that they expose is this is the corruption of sexual excesses by spiritual leaders who claimed to have certain values and certain intentions and certainly preach certain values intentions but courser total Hypocrites and end up knocking up their servants or knocking up there just you know all these politicians Schwarzenegger it’s like it’s such a such a shitshow behind the scenes and and I think that you and I are or are seeking enlightened spiritual sexual Enlightenment within movements that at their best actually give us the tools to talk about this stuff and to be more honest about this stuff and you know I’m a little bit skeptical and weary of the country Colts and the the cult of personality around gurus and and what not but I do feel like it is the yoginis who are who are taking the power back and stealing the fire back and building their own temples in creating your own spaces where if you fix if I if you ask me where what would you ask if I had a conversation with this gentleman your cum Mass if you will I would say dear sir, Master I’m here to speak on behalf of your former come slave and and what we’re talking about now is like how you could have had your cake and eating it too and now you’re in you know some you know you’re in some some big trouble with with people who care about this stuff now but the thing that I would love to see is it like okay what if the women had the Deeds to the land what if the women manage their wealth collectively knowing that men are useful for physical labor some of them are useful for intellectual Pursuits and in service work but ultimately you know in a culture that worships the divine feminine life-giving aspect of Nature and the Oni and the wounded musically every everybody I mean women or in service to the womb regardless because they have to manage your menstrual cycle you have to manage your just rescuing like you don’t get a choice not to be a Yoni worship that your devotion is to your Yoni Temple you have no choice men have the option of whether to trash it and pollute it and abuse and rape it or they can be trained by women to have a sympathy and compassion towards the Oni and to actually devote themselves to building the temples that that that feed and nurse is stolen and in Steward the land so I imagine that a benevolent form of make sure where women are in as a sort of ecologically wise form of power that they would there would not be this shacking up to older men you have land and have money and have power but that power would not be granted to those men in the men would always be in a dynamic where they have to come and serve the temple to have to come and serve the goddess and they might get the blessing of a sexual experience if they planting of trees that day or Dig Inn recipes with build and rescue no cancel all of their effort and all of that you so you want to be you know like a hyper-masculine dominator will go dominate that pile of wood with that Axe and then and then will fucking Bayview down and and then we’ll fuck you fuck her brains out you know so that’s I’m I would ask the judge if there ever is a judge to adjudicate this matter to say can you please Institute matriarchal ecovillages for these men actually don’t take themselves in so they can have like an ethical you know what would it be you wouldn’t be a common slave you would be a cam princess to come Queen if I’m got it I’ve had I’ve had witches intelligently harvest my semen for Magical ritual purposes and offerings to their devoted. He’s so it’s like we can all become slaves if we devote ourselves property to the right you know the right being so you know on the other side of the veil but we we got a long way to go for sure this is the tip of the iceberg and you know if he in in his lawyers and the signs and errors and representatives and you already had it I listening to this. Gaston like you know I’ll see you let’s meet the stance on the astral plane and I’ll introduce you to some of the humbling dakinis who are going to make you want to repent you know and there’s hope I promise ya ya I loved it then so I really agree with everything you said I think the Met charcoal ecosystem is definitely the way it’s it’s a problem solver for many many problems not just come slaves problems but like the environmental issue I think you know the beauty of man like me being single right now in wanting you know like company and everything and and and you know I I I I still yearned a man like I still yearn to be in a relationship but I mean honestly like I just I’m at the point now where I’m really every man has their purpose you know what I mean just like I’m sure a lot of men who date multiple women like every woman has their purpose and so sometimes like you just most of the time we just need a man around like you said for intellectual conversation and a lift heavy things and I think that’s very honorable like I mean I that was what else what like what else can can we ask for you know what I mean like we don’t need all of this extra bulshit that you’re trying to do you know like that’s really all I need right now as I just I just want an intellectual conversation just like this and I need help lifting some heavy things and I would love to provide my Yoni goddess energy to you in exchange for any of the help she would like to give me you know well are we still are we still on the air do I get to do we get to Publix at live is that if I could I said official proposal because I said no and then and I’ve got like you know Mister the dream team of a stunt cocks and like there’s you need help I need a lot of help lifting things here I need to bring my trapeze in there’s a lot of women can’t make it by themselves you know what let me say this is going to sound a little random but honestly me going to this healing process I have been batting men away because I’ve just been here like I’ve been a little bit more short with with people like with my words and you know just trying to keep things limited cuz I’m I’m healing I’m not healing anymore it right now like I’m out of it but the first two years of moving to Vegas was brutal and and honestly you know yeah I just I just really I just really needed help I just really needed support and you know I’m I feel a lot better now I feel a lot lighter now but yeah I I still need help we all all women need a man even the lesbians and everything like we all we all yearn for that masculine energy to protect us provide for us in touch even if it’s our old masculine energy but it is I was starving for it for so long then I was so miserable for so long healing and trying to get over this trying to make sense of it and try to use the lesson and some benefits away and come out like a phoenix and make it work and you know we as I still want to be with a man Even though this happened to me even though I was traumatized even though all of this I stole urine I so would love it and I don’t want to go to a sperm bank I don’t want to have to go to a sperm bank 2 have a baby and everything like that but you know it’s it’s just like I mean I understand I’m at the I’ve gone through such a brutal initiation that I actually understand the women going to the sperm banks I understand the women the lesbians the bushes I understand that I really do I really do if I was not who I am and that was in some other situation maybe I would have stayed you know like a lesbian going to a sperm bank cuz I would have hated to be with a man cuz I would have generalized my situation to all men think of the boxer little bit I think I have a lot of gay men who are who are beautiful and who are obsessed with me and in a good way and I would love to have that proposed to them that they ate for a few nights of fertility out of the month that they be straight for pay and we get them in the mix because you know I’m clipped but but I can see that’s the thing like if we understand the opportunities in the opportunity to create a ritual around around conscious conception it’s not it doesn’t have to be like this this horrible curse of a contracted like oh my God I have to compromise so much just to get my biological clock that’s ticking me off faster and faster for women you know past 25 it’s time to get busy and it’s like I like to see a world where you don’t have to compromise any of your integrity and your sovereignty and leave your power and have your wealth and that you can have the designer motherhood to designer Parenthood within a community of Enlighten people and there’s just like a currency of love affection and sexual gratification that is not found by and nausea Mystic Street marriage contracts which only serve the state thus there’s a documentary called divorce court I think is what it’s called it’s all about it’s literally goes into the racket of how much money the state makes on the revolving door in and out of every marriage the state to accept money and they have ripped it there they read the whole thing so that all will give you these benefits so that you pay us to go into the end of the agreement and pay us to break the agreement we know there’s a 50% divorce rate for first marriage 80% on second marriages and it doesn’t get prettier after that End of Innocence yeah Gene Simmons from Kiss I watched a documentary he did on finance because he’s one of the most successful multi product line branding marketing Geniuses of the whole Remy’s the most enterprising Rock God ever more than any other good people just kill themselves with heroin and booze but he said in the beginning of his talk you said you know what’s the number one cause of divorce can you guys do you know what he said I said the divorce is marriage so number one cause of divorce marriage he was flipping the script just to be like it’s so doomed it’s so fatalistic like why even bubble and he said how shameful it is for society to accept this notion that for example like a young gold-digging wife and I don’t not see if not to say this to put you down but I think the same thing and something happened to Anna Anna Nicole Smith. I think she tried to like hijack the wealth of a super rich aging I think it was like an oil Mogul or something like that, or what his distinguished but basically he died so soon after they married because he was so decrepit when they first met that the courts actually said you know what we’re not going to give you all this money his family like please tell him I said no fucking way so that’s the end then I know there’s a there’s this hope yeah I I I believe that’s heard some I’m cuz I thought I saw a documentary in like the last 24 hours of her life or something and she was like taking all these shots and like oh my God I was just taking shots Lake oh she was it was like I think what it was was that she was representing some machine she was like taking like some kind of fat moderation shots or something like that and they were like causing I think they cause like an abscess and actually got infected and I’m really maybe butchering this so I would say nobody please you know don’t think I’m a massage this cuz I might put these facts but look it up if there’s a pattern that were talking about and this is like we’re getting deeper into these things that people are uncomfortable looking at and it’s like I know about this culture of of young women club club type stripper bartender dancers who strategically positioned themselves near the local football team so that they can be the one who gets knocked up and the baby daddy is Rich and she gets to take that DNA test to the bank and that was you know and like why wouldn’t you I mean if I were an intelligent cunning woman knowing that I lived in the skewed patriarchal situation I could shake it and get you know I pretty much turn a man’s head and like seduce him to impregnate me and I will be poking holes in condoms with pins you know I’m just being right but that’s like I don’t I don’t want to take you know that’s that’s that’s a fear and respect response you know that and there’s reasons why I almost refused to be intimate with a woman alone because I don’t want her to be a story about how I was there was any discrepancy you know in these situations which is a benefit like if we can move towards a paradigm where social sexuality is the norm then there will be no more he said she’s is there will be people who will be adjudicated the truth based on a triple entry Ledger of the truth so to speak like it’s not just what somebody says happened and what another person says that it didn’t happen it will be like we were all there that didn’t happen you know and then you just need to cool out but I think it’s just like you can’t go wrong with like eight handed massages while you’re you know making love I got it I just think that attention and so I respect the women like you were doing Yoni workshops with other women and their I’ve interviewed women have done nude yoga classes and it’s just like something magical happens when people adults in groups get just get naked and then they get raw and then I like while I don’t have to be fighting everyone I don’t feel so defensive and it’s just take some time and that’s what yogurt is good for and breathing and meditation and you get to that point where were you all feel like you’re one organism and you just want to be with you Joseph Pleasure P that octopus of pressure and like these creepy freaky things like the things that you’re talking about in the things that I’ve been through I would drag women they wouldn’t have a word attached to me and I would drag both of us out into the middle of the street to get witnesses can I get a witness funny vine Ivan I was a guy was a come slave yeah and it was like that if you if you only knew how legendary the public meltdown of that relationship was it was just like it was Jerry Springer on steroids and just the deceit getting worse and worse I had to literally run in the middle of the night to the edge of the property line to hope that the neighbors would see me screaming can I get a witness stomach hurts. We have a new pack it’s become slave pact slaves are definitely going to be a matter of like finding the people who are comfortable and have had enough of these traumas and privacy to like question I call it the cult of the couple or I might borrow that from someone else but I heard that term when I said yeah the cult of the couple that’s where all the fuckary happens if they call we were the madness happens in once you start opening up that container you know yes there’s going to be more Dynamics and possibly more drama but the thing is at least the drama will have more bullshit colors in more referees and people to say hope you’re you’re distorting the facts like you’re you know and just nonviolent communication goes a long way but but yeah we work yeah but the word last night I had a milk through it was in the Meltdown and it wasn’t totally of this would be we could melt through I love your neologism let’s melt through all of this bullshit together and I will I will come to the rescue so to speak and be you know a posting up for definitely part parts of my schedule as much as possible in Vegas for a lot of fun and interesting reasons but have no fear and if I if I have to like put some from somebody straight for pay or other straight men in the in the stunt cock rotation then you know you will be at the thought crossed my mind very organically for the first time and I am as natural as they come I mean I don’t I don’t like doing things in an unnatural way let alone comes conceiving a child but I’ve been you know what I mean. That was the essence of why me and my ex broke up was because he led me to believe for many years as you wanted to have a baby with me and you would say things to me like oh that gets my dick hard whenever I was talk about it you would literally say to me that gets my dick hard he was really just trying to deepen my pussy go deeper in my pussy open up my trust in him more and be more submissive to him and I’ll never leave him cuz I think he’s thought that I was just going to leave him to have a baby with someone else cuz our relationship was so it messed with the time you didn’t want me to leave and so I thought about it very organically for the first time it just crossed my mind and I am so not the type to go to a damn sperm bank I mean the way that a man the way that it would it would degenerate I would think like the moment you ejaculate the sperm start Sox’s oxidizing it starts to generate so it’s not even worth it even though I’m sure they have practices to fight against that and conserving but I’m sorry if anyone you know as an advocate and come on the show and talk about it but I think it’s really disturbing myself to like I want to have a baby like I want to I want to raise a child that I want to I would even adopt you know and so I burned anything literally I was able maybe I can just get find someone who went to the sperm bank and have a relationship with that like I was trying to really think about it I was like what do I do you know what I mean and I’m not even the tight then so I can’t imagine other women who have been in similar situations where you know I can’t imagine yeah I’ve will have actually helped the former lover of mine who was absolutely heartbroken that I got a vasectomy right around the time that we are falling in love and she said she would do anything to reverse it and she wanted so badly and I was honest and I said look you know I have like a II my jeans are like spoiled and polluted and ruined by some evil demonic hierarchy From Another Dimension and I’ve seen that so deep in shamanic ceremonies that I just know that it is my absolute duty to no longer perpetuate this DNA on Earth and like a monk’s make one that’s a huge that’s a spiritual thing to own you know I mean I’ve seen on iOS away that demons crawl on the family DNA bloodline the way like a spider web time alone you know so this intergenerational trauma is no joke and I see it as like the way that we humans are capable in our worst states of perversity towards nature we’re capable of really abusing plants and animals by domestic getting them in a way that really makes them unsuitable in the wild like we went over domesticate them and we make them weak and susceptible to pests and disease and we have to be their caretakers Ever After because of that that’s like sort of the double-edged sword of domestication while we are also as human beings being domesticated by entities from the Demonic realm and that’s why schizophrenia is rapid that’s why you have these degenerative disorders and all these things are basically the handiwork of entities that are farming us from the astral plane beyond our perception and put if you take a third eye opening psychedelic then you will see what is stowing away in your chakras and you might discover that like oh yeah this like pattern of sexual abuse in a family is actually a burrowing creature that has nested within one generation to the next and they for all we know they’re like hyperparasite they’re basically a hyperspatial parasite and so you know I know that there’s things like attached to my soul that I need to purge in this lifetime ritually through the Tantra and basically not let them have another generation you know I would not let them have that low-hanging fruit like they already cracked and hacked the DNA of my bloodline when I asked my mother about like hay like what have you not told me about a lot of things you don’t she’s like yeah basically everyone our family has problems you know I think my mother was abused as I think that it’s like well I’m about to shine a light on all this bullshit and part of it is like being responsible so if I were you I mean I say we go on a world tour of the humblest most Serene indigenous villager populations of people who have been making Ayahuasca for thousands of years and look in their eyes and you see the purity of their soul and if they would do you the favor of allowing a fresh Soul strain to be repopulated you your room then we might have a chance but like you know I’ve listen to Catholic Exorcist who I take very seriously because it’s busy as loony as they might be you know they have some some perspective on the truth and one of them this guy Brother Carlos who has that got demons website I just absolutely love him because he’s like the Chris Farley Exorcist she’s like totally like an over-the-top like slapstick comedian ridiculous but but he takes very seriously and when you say something like that all humans have demons except for Jesus Christ because he was the Immaculate Conception in other than that I don’t know you said Adam and Eve and Jesus Christ were the only humans who don’t have demons because we inherit demons from our ancestors and from our parents not to mention any said demons enter freeways one inherited through your bloodline to you did something evil and you invited them into an evil act that contract with them or should I get something negligent and naive and ignorant a man and One locking himself out and raping his own and being possessed though he may not feel like he his Free Will was involved then his negligence allowed for entities from the Demonic realm to possess him and therefore intend to him and it’s not going to be it’s not going to be easy to do that removal work and so if you’re an exorcist you an exterminator and you know how these things function and you know how they brew and you have to do is squeeze the last of them with all of your all your might you know in the mighty name of the Lord Jesus Christ I cast you into the abyss that’s what he could have like a million times a day and I don’t know if it works but I will tell you what like some deep territory what it looks like to have conscious conception and to protect that contain of the Egyptians they knew about this that thing how to ritualize the protection of the womb space population and the intention for conception because that is a you’re bleeding and in this week coming in shark-infested loans Interstate know when we’re getting it on that’s why they afraid of masturbation they do know that when when you raise that arousal energy hitting the dinner bell to all of those dark horses how do you how do you invite the Holy Spirit accompany me to the bedroom and you can have that love and go up that is a whole nother conversation for another episode that really that’s the essence of what why I’m here doing any of this it’s like we have got to get really honest about abuse abuse that happened and only we’re going to do is to talk about it come together and support each other and really compensate for each other’s weaknesses and and like not exploit each other’s weaknesses but actually like really authentic Lee don’t like meet you with your needs where you’re at if your young woman if you’re an old woman you know if you were a email frigid if you have vaginismus if you remember so many things that affect the womb so many things affect women in like the last thing you need is like some guy to come in and manipulate you and trample you and caress you and leave you like worse off than he found you and like back after thinking you took a step forward you know that’s why we got a break so can you hear me by the way then yeah I can still hear you I think you know I’m sorry that was a long rat what I have to do and I love it I love it I just I think that’s the connection breaking because I actually left my home but but like I heard what you’re saying it and it is really appropriate for what we’re talking about later because the connection is breaking up and I think it is because I left yeah that’s that’s cool I think we’re well beyond the healthy stopping point and it was there a stretch but I think it was worth putting especially if anybody who is like your enemy now because of what you’re doing I would love for this if it’s fucking a let’s all talk about all those kids so thank you very much we need we need to make another conversation about this because the humans are was ruining everything indeed yes indeed by yeah that’s a nice to finger and so is there anything that you would you like to have the editorial if you want to hear this you can just double-check know do you want to have that final Eden Prairie reviews The Shocker right if you want we can do that I will not understand until you hear my edit am I you can okay cool alright then well then it’ll be a couple who love you too. Take care of this going to be out in a couple days thank you thank you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to see me and if you want to podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple after bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Archer Park. Com Damas de

Rock Your Cock with Evolved Masculine Coach and Tantric Punk Larry Fredrick TPP207

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Larry Fredrick picIn this episode I’m joined by Larry Fredrick a highly experienced and accomplished evolved masculine coach. He shares the intimate details of his journey of personal growth through the catharsis of the early punk rock movement, transcending a failing marriage, getting into self-help, pick-up artistry, and ultimately a diverse array of spiritual and sexual mastery programs.

He has a down-to-earth perspective on learning and teaching practical self-improvement skill sets for men. With over 10 years of advanced training and practice he’s developed the “Rock Your Cock” program for men to really step into their power from a place of heart-centered, mindful, and spiritual consciousness.

I was most intrigued by his stories of experiencing authentic traditional tantric initiation in the jungles of India and his explanation of how he’s been able to adapt the teachings and apply them in his own love and sex life, as well as transmit the teachings to his students.

It was a deep honor and pleasure to have this opportunity to speak with a fellow rocker who’s living the dream as a tantric punk, has worked directly with many of my heroes, and who embodies forms of tantric magic that you can’t learn from books alone.

About Larry:

Larry Fredrick is an award winning international educator. He’s also a sex coach;
licensed and certified in Erotic Blueprints, Sexological bodywork, Neurolinguistic
Programming, Hypnotherapy, and Somatic Sex Education.

Larry works with men who want to clearly find and express their desires so they can
feel empowered in finding passion, pleasure, and juicy hot sex. He has traveled the
globe, from the mountains of Peru to Tantric temples in the jungles of India, training
with some of the top names in the fields of self transformation and sexual education
including Jaiya Ma, David Deida, Michaela Boehm, Destin Gerek, Satyen Raja and Joseph
Kramer.

From having issues with erectile dysfunction, performance and social skills, to
becoming a multi-orgasmic man with the skills and techniques of a confident lover,
Larry helps men step into their full erotic power so they can have more confidence in
the bedroom and in their relationships.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/embody.awakening.1
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/embodyawakening/
Website: http://www.embody-awakening.com/

AI Generated Transcription:
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin double dribble Evans welcome to Township Funk podcast episode number 2 0 7 buy a very Frederick who is a masculine empowerment coach and he has a lot of interesting and exciting offerings that we’re going to talk about we go back to having met through Destin Garrix Network and the weekends or weekend men’s Retreats that I’ve been apart of and he is taking that further and done the training and is now yeah Mexican apartment coaches work with Dustin Garrick he’s worked with Jaya and provides for blueprint training Psalm Isadora and others and that we have some interesting choices of Common Ground coming from a punk. Background and we’ll have lots to talk about regarding the relationship interplay between the punk at 6 and attitude and the Tantrum and so with that said Larry do you want to just give us kind of an overview of your personal Journey leading up to all of these exciting offerings at you right now well I mean my bias is long so I’m just going to cut to the meat I am on a masculine empowerment coach I have a program called Rock your cock which is on my website it’s exactly what the title says it’s to help me and be in there talking show up to women and masculine way and also be in their heart and be in their mind being there in their spirit so it’s connecting the lower chakras the higher chakras and it works through blocks and sexual techniques and on communication relationships so that’s the program that I’m offering the listeners they sign up on my website but I’ve also travel all over the world work with a whole bunch of teachers it’s been a long journey from a failed marriage sexless marriage to know I having an amazing hot juicy sex with an amazing woman I mean our house right now doing this podcast on so I think we should just get right to the question you might have been possible thank you that overview and I would say you have for me a lot of a lot of this work started with a path to Liberation through the punk rock movements I’d love to have to have you start there seems like an earlier chapter of your life when when you were mainly involved in that scene in that community and so I left it here just what that was like what that was like for you and how that’s kind of was a in a precursor to or foreshadowing a more spiritual path yes I would say that the punk movement was when I was part of the punk scene it was and I was not on the spiritual path I was graduated high school in 1982 and that was kind of the heart of the punk movement so when I would go out with my friends they would be to some of the Seas really small tiny little clubs and what I liked about the punk movement is that it was about redefining everything including what music you know like you didn’t even have to play an instrument to play an instrument and you also didn’t need what was an instrument instrument could be a power drill and instrument could be you know something that that you bang on and make noise you didn’t have to sing you didn’t have to look a certain way you could just go out there and express emotions so it was like in a really cathartic and sort of Rage driven and you know for a young man it was a way to kind of experience now on a more spiritual level two experience on a visceral level of emotions in a group of people yeah I hear you on that and that’s something I would like to ask you is as if you had since your contract negotiations and in Journeys in Adventures you I’m sure you have both experienced than just been coming across people who are core very much about inviting the shot the energy and Awakening Kundalini energy and a lot of sometimes erratic kind of krias and sometimes more graceful dance forms but I always like to make the comparison that the Kundalini energy is really well leather it up in the punk rock circle pit and sometimes even the mosh pit but there’s also like a activation going on that’s doing some stuff on purging and purification you have any thoughts on I’m not sure though I mean I know what I have learned over the years is a fellow I’ve done a lot of working in different states cramps and there’s definitely a trance that happens when you’re in a group of people listening to music whatever that music is an. The emotions that come out become magnified when they’re when it’s not just you feeling that emotion but a whole group of people feel emotions that are brought out in a punk rock club or different than in a tantric Puja but they’re still emotions and they’re still magnified by being in the group that is a great way to say and Selso and very inclusive way to say you had mention also that you do hypnosis so this might be a good time maybe a little out of the timeline to mention it here but we were talking about France dates and Altered States do you want to talk a bit about what he described for people who may be haven’t had an xtatic group emotional cathartic experience like what is that what how would you describe that in terms of your knowledge of how the brain works and how the nervous system works and and how Altered States were when you’re in a group of people doing the weather is a tantric Puja or a rock concert or even going to Vegas there’s a lot of things that are basically you go into a State of Trance when your mind is overloaded so if you’re overloaded by the sounds of slot machines going off at noises and sounds and smells your ear mind starts to get overloaded and then it becomes suggestible so we’re overloaded it when I live in Los Angeles I mean I’m overloaded as soon as I walk out of my house there’s there’s things that are overloading my mind which means that my mind is very susceptible to Suggestions by advertisers people that may not have my best interest so when you go into a trance State you were open and you could be open to positive suggestions or negative suggestions as a hypnotist I’m I’m trying to say I’m trying to see if you’re in that trance state with a hypnotist URI your ear assuming and I know that will not working with you I’m sitting in container with your safety mind and your best interest in mind so what I’m going to put his suggestions that are positive as opposed to suggestions that if you eat this hamburger from Carl’s jr. you’re going to get laid or whatever other suggestions people are putting in our head through our everyday hypnosis with that I don’t know if that makes sense yeah totally not exactly what I was supposed I’m getting out of here so I’m curious so from going from that earlier Punk type of initiation what what were some of the Catalyst I know you mentioned it a sexless marriage and so what was that process like of transforming your life pass into Seaking Tantra discovering it and then you can give us the sort of them chronology of the different works that you’ve been involved in 4 years old so I’ve had a lot of Life of different stories and episodes but I think one of us when I was in the midst of my marriage I was also sort of dissatisfied with my job and I went to I went to a therapist who was going to put me on medication and I said you know I’ll fuck that I don’t want to that’s not the route I want to go I want to take them medicine so I decided to look into hypnotherapy as a way of you know kind of working on myself like I figured that I could use positive thinking that use hypnotherapy to give direction to why was starting to feel kind of lost in a marriage and a job and it worked I mean a super powerful and I found that I was attracting when I was when I was starting out I was attracting a lot of men who either word at social anxiety or or problems relating to women a lot of guys that were in a computer Gamers and then they would just like really in their head and I found that they were drawn to me because I also I totally understand was a computer gamer I was addicted to World of Warcraft I was psychic Total Computer gamer I’m that was my way of escaping which is also a state of hypnosis so first I use it as a way of working on myself and then I just found that I naturally Drew clients for men who were going through the same thing I was in which is basically get out of your head and into your body and you know take all the negative stories all this all the self steam issues all the confidence issues in and a really men are powerful and in most of them we work hard and sometimes we forget that there’s so many negative stories like to impart positive confidence power and is just to show up those were some of the things that I was doing as a hypnotist and also letting them most of them were able to get over their shyness or their social anxiety and really feel much better about themselves and show up show up for women better now that you know that was just the beginning that was where I started I’ve got a lot farther since since I started out that is very interesting I’m very concerned about the new generation as well younger generation coming up through the video games in that level disconnection if you don’t mind before we move forward into more of the time and spirituality and sexuality episodes in chapters you know what would you say if you were if a person listening now is really hooked on gaming and not and not really taking care of their body and not taking care of their their relationships and I’m kind of getting sucked into that realm do you have any advice just off the top of your head that you would share or recommend that they contact you or I’d love to know about more resources for people in that situation too big essential secret for all of it and it’s not just kids on video games cuz I’m working out with about messing with about twenty-five men and it’s all they’re all it’s all the same as we’re in our heads we’re not in our body it takes like it it’s it’s like a gradual moving into our bodies and in feeling our bodies are so much numbness like I find the men that I’m working with right now I’m working with them and then they are like I’ll take a breath and they say what do you feel and if they will I feel relaxed bulshit you don’t feel relaxed you feel your body you feel the tension from being hunched over a computer over a car it’s like they’re not feeling their bodies so they’re not feeling their own their own bodies are not filled their emotions if shut it all down and they’re not showing up for the women in their lives thank you for doing that work and I would say myself I was I was very much a gamer growing up as a child but I guess luckily for me to games weren’t that controlling so I spent plenty of time by the time I matured sexually life my actual life became the video game that all of the BB King the real game that the video games were kind of like training for so I hope that that art of development can be kind of you know did you ever get that sense that there’s an appropriate role for four games of all kinds and then once life really starts going you should be out there and living it right but I mean I think everything is I’m not against games go and you know video games are awesome but I’m against retreating into your head into like a fantasy world so you’re not dealing with your own body your own emotions you’re not dealing with reality you’re not dealing with opportunities in front of you so you know there’s nothing wrong with video games is nothing wrong with whatever drugs or alcohol or whatever it is people use to get out of their bodies and into their you know whatever Escape people need but if you live there and you’re not you’re not connecting to the real world was obviously that’s not what I’m I want I want men to choose I want men to be a body grounded Power full sewing up in the real world and feeling their bodies feeling they’re motioning and feeling their sexuality because they’re missing out that you know that there’s a lot of men having sex or fucking but they’re not feeling like the full range of what’s possible in orgasm which even even what men consider orgasm I mean it took me a long time to reach to the point where I’m really like blown the lid off of what an orgasm is I I can I could lie in bed next to my partner and we haven’t even had sex and I’ll just be like convulsing in like shaking and in like complete pleasure that would could be nonstop until I finally so you know what I want to go to sleep so I didn’t even know what was possible an orgasm all right well yeah I get there I get your point I think so I think there could be a sweet spot of having your cake and eating it too guarding the video games and if you really develop yourself in in the physical and spiritual and sexual aspects then by all means enjoy the video games that I would take that to be some good advice and so now we’re getting into that more advanced sexual Spiritual Development so what happened next in your journey as far as your discovery of Tantra did you find out fire and go to a workshop or did some mystical Guru approach you and traveling trip or what was that that was very very much a guy into TV and video games and and I got involved in like the pickup seen you know there’s did the pickup artist scene and at which why don’t want to get into that but I was listening to a podcast and I found out about this workshop and it was a tantra Workshop didn’t you didn’t the guy named such Young Living Canada who is still I still involved with his great awesome teacher and it was a it was a 3-day workshop and involving Connection in communication between men and women and it was sort of a Puja but again none of these words and if you did I wouldn’t have known what it was what it meant I was totally not into anything that I considered spiritual chakras or any of that stuff I would not have gone which is it was called I think was called sex passion in Enlightenment something like that was a 3-day workshop and I went to that and it just blew my mind I mean making eye contact with different women and I’m all of the things that came up all of the emotions that came up all of the you know that the self-reflection that came up and reminder that there’s a story I told him another podcast but I might as well tell the story I was I was paired up with a woman and she looked me in the eyes it was like eye contact and all she said to me is I trust you this was just the lines that a woman was supposed to say to a man I trust you and I received that you know the woman sang to me I trust you and I I was on the ground like crying for I don’t I don’t even know how long are in a ball crying because I realized I was not a trustworthy Matt which is why my marriage is all fucked up I was not a man that a woman can trust and I sort of made it like I sort of question what what is it like to be a trustworthy man what is what is a trustworthy man that’s what a woman wants no more than a big cock they want a man’s dick trust I mean so it in terms of becoming a sexual Manner and I realized I had a lot of inner work to do and then I realized that what I was learning was Contra and then and then that set me on a whole other path which is actually why I was attracted to Dyess blueprints because she talks about different blueprints one of being energetic and I realize that I was an energetic and I didn’t even know what that was I didn’t even know that was a thing but now that I’ve coached for the blueprints it’s like I wasn’t energetic in my shadow which hole explain later but I was at I was an energetic was kind of didn’t know I was and therefore I lived in the shadow of the energetic well I just was a beautiful story and I think yeah but I’m glad that that offering existed and you were able to connect with it I do I didn’t get involved myself in the pickup scene and I I guess I kind of I feel like I avoided it as as a Pastime personally but I have met some people recently you know who was part of their the early attorney as well and so if you don’t mind talking about it I love to hear a little bit more but if you’d rather not that’s fine too but I’ll just put that out there for people who don’t some of the principles of it I think there is maybe it has a bad reputation as being manipulative and really selfish and kind of way to use kind of trickery and and tactics of Deceit and so that’s that’s like the negative impression I have it although I’ve been enlightened that there’s more to it and it’s actually a past 2 in development and evolution that’s that has a very respectable depends on who you train with or who your buddies are but do you want to talk about that is there anything Redemptive that people should know about that but I think there’s an idea is that we can change as men that we can learn skills we can learn skills like presents we can learn how to communicate better that these are skills that we need to learn that we’re not just some men are what are called Naturals but a lot of men are not and that there’s ways to teach it to the ways to learn it there’s ways to improve so the idea of men like I mean there’s a lot of ego and in terms of no I’m good I’m good I’m okay you know I’m I’m doing alright like the idea of the pickup is that actually wherever you’re at you could be better and pick up does use a lot of NLP which is neuro-linguistic programming that’s kind of a another reason I got interested in it and a hypnosis in a lot of the things that you know now that I that I teach it there was a lot of things that I learned from being in that scene especially the ideas at these are skills that could be learned in that they can be taught so we don’t have to be satisfied with where we’re at as men and that there are ways to break down and improve their very well said I appreciate that if somebody was had missed out on getting into the pickup seen earlier do you recommend that people go and read certain books or watch certain videos or find certain meetups is it still something that you would include in your programs for men now or was it something that you kind of see is like all well it was a means to an end or stepping stone I’m curious if you would still endorse that movement somehow we’ll see I don’t know what the movement is up to now I think there’s a lot of no sketchy kind of characters in there and a lot of like exploiting a lot of marketing and a lot of I think taking advantage of men who want to improve I mean I would recommend myself because hitch hook I’m taking what I learned from pick up from hypnosis and other things and spirituality and I’m not teaching not teaching men to go out to bars and pick up women but I’m teaching men to be the kind of man that wants to go to the bars they’ll be more attractive to women don’t I don’t teach lines or anything like that cuz I found they don’t work but works is doing the work on yourself so you show up as a more powerful attractive man and I think that what the pickup is exploiting is is they need which again I finding working with men is like we want the Magic Bullet and we want it fast and we want it like Surefire and we want it without doing the work like we want we want that they promised a lot and you know like the magic pick up line is going to make them horny and a lot of it’s bullshit really but if you get involved if it doesn’t wake you up and turns it over these are things that I can improve I I can improve my posture I can improve how I make eye contact with person and I can improve my listening skills I can improve how I show up and then these things help build confidence and then when confidence is building then you naturally become more attractive person and more attractive to women those again great points I’m glad that that were talking about that something I I guess kind of worried and hasn’t again been that personal to me but I feel you on that so so now where would you say you want to start bringing in the official trainings that you did the Special Operations that you’ve done with some of the sum of the key players in the modern Neo Tantra and movement sounds like you’ve been you know getting out there and so when did your formal or more formal training ministration start in Gaston go from there after I did that work with Sachi on the path of the Warrior Stage so I did a lot of work with him which included shamanic journeys to Mexico meeting doing doing meeting shamans and I can’t even like going to some of the the magical crazy stuff that happened in he he was he was into David data so I got involved with David data in one of his teachers Michaela boehm might I work with her and so these are different different forms of Tantra and none of them call themselves Tantra but then I got involved in like I met Psalm Isadora and she’s much more of a the more traditional like old school country from India or the cheap there’s a whole Neo Tantra movement which comes from Osho and a lot of the teachers teach this this form of Tantra that is basically from Osho when he came to America and I do know it’s like I can’t talk forever about talks so much about it but some really I really clicked with her because she she she brought in this like traditional chanting in Sanskrit and it was just beautiful rituals and I like the ritual of it I like the I like the kind of formality of the ritual so she told me about a temple that you did too in India and if it came to my mind and then she passed away so I never got a chance to go to this Temple but then I did with another teacher Don Cartwright took me to this Temple because it’s hidden you don’t know where it is and it’s like an old-school ancient country Temple Heating in the jungle and if you can give you make it there by got initiated basically it was like 2 weeks class of of learning how to chant incense sounds great and there’s is 108 goddess statues and you have to do a ritual to each one it’s it’s kind of like you’re just immersed in this ancient language there there’s flowers everywhere and smells and and it’s just kind of mind-blowing I was basically magic school it’s like I learn magic and but that sounds weird is it there there’s a hundred and a goddess statues in in like they’re all sexual and there’s that there’s a Temple there that’s like the Yoni Temple so it’s basically goddess worship and I have to learn these these these rituals and you just immersed in it and it is going into a trance basically your this thing is in the jar there’s no toilet paper there if you eat with your hands and it’s like a whole other world it’s like going back thousand years and and then at the end do you know I basically was initiated into the srivijaya lineage but what’s interesting about it is I did a ceremony with kaniche where I was basically the one of my wishes was to bring this woman I was seeing on this journey with me and I’m in our house right now it’s been 3 years and we were just kind of seeing each other but I wanted her to be part of this journey and then for Valentine’s Day after coming back from the temple I did this Pooja that I learned there in the temple that it’s like a secret ancient ceremony and I learned it And I memorized it and I practiced it and I prefer I did it to her on Valentine’s Day and she said that blew her mind like like like to have it wasn’t that it wasn’t the ritual of it but to have so much attention paid on her like all the details that you know you have to have and tastes all five senses I touch different parts of her body different pressure points and pleasure points and did chanting and took like 2 hours but it said she said that blew her mind you know like to have that kind of ritual performed on her and I could never do it again it’s like I could not remember all of that all of that stuff I learned I have to go back in my arms again but it was almost it did feel like I had received some kind of transmission and I like I was I’m talking about it I don’t really talk about this I’ve never actually really talked about this because there’s some feeling of I don’t know if people are going to believe me or am I showing off or what it what exactly am I saying and yet I’m also feeling like a vibration in my chest that I went through this experience was pretty incredible I mean hidden country temple in the jungles of India and initiating in the bringing that to my girlfriend yeah it is putting me in a trance as I talk about it well me too I’m having an adventure in my mind too and I love that you shared that and I feel blessed that you feel comfortable sharing those details with me and I’m sure there’s you know you can write a whole book just about that that cycle that you did there but you know I’m I’m flashing through all of the experiences I’ve had doing fujas and rituals and ceremonies and just everything that I’ve experienced in in the westernized Neo Tantra version where think there’s always a number of people who’ve had those more authentic traditional classical country experiences in India or in other parts of other parts of the world and bring that back and are able to bring that transmission and that energy carries forward for people who work for just you know in some meat up in somebody’s living room on in West play or something and actually it is it transmits but I love hearing the stories of the actual experience is cuz we really I don’t think we have many places in the US where where goddess worship and the ritualised procedural practice of worshiping and asking for blessings and protection from the deities I don’t see that happening a lot I send in the meet-up send in the township groups what not I think there is more of a focus on more secular personal development and just you know how to be a better relationships and this kind of undifferentiated one missense of bliss but I’m actually way more interested in this otherworldly transdimensional intelligent entities deities and beautiful Divine spirits that have personalities and very distinct archetypal Personalities in that that’s what you’re talking about and so I’m thrilled to always hear more about what those practices of the ones that seem to not get through the mesh into the West as often as like the multi-orgasmic even the Kundalini stuff which I’ve heard you know a lot of Kundalini people approach Kundalini without without paying homage to its is a feminine Shakti goddess aspect of it so much so yeah I’m glad you had that experience and then that you bring that forward and certainly that we just go from talking about the gimmicks of pick up Artistry which you know it’s like I think of pickup artists I think of con artists I think of like confidence scams and then evil going from from that Vibe of that world to this experience you talking about and translating the beauty and magic of these experiences in Matt’s and then having the proof in the pudding and applying it to turning on and really worship thing and giving to this beloved you yours like I hope that those people who are trying to buy the magic pills and by the secret pick up lines and all that they actually would hear this and and and be inspired by what you’re saying you say there’s like a way way deeper Richard passed to towards some pleasing women and in being a God you know being like the guy who gets her off the best and the guys will never forget that that can come from it a deeper more of my spiritual face so thank you very much that was my you know my my Applause and praise for it for you sharing that and so do you want to then go from there to how you started to apply that if you start to want to teach Tantra more formally and start building your own kind of phone programs did you do some other trainings if you go to work with diarrhea right after that or what was next time you’re you’re sort of Business Development path of Tantra make something clear like this I’m listening to this I’m not expecting men to go into the jungles in like wipe their ass with their hands because there’s no toilet paper you know what and then come back and do a 3-hour ritual to the woman in order to get laid that’s not what I’m saying that I did that but what I teach man is to put their attention and make make like or you can make an ordinary day exciting and ritualistic so like I’m going we’re going to San Diego this weekend and we’re sitting we’re going to turn it into a ritual at an adventure and I’m going to I’m going to pay attention to my woman as opposed to like the pickup artist seen I think there was a lot of like Don’t Buy Women drains their they’re not going to respect you if you if women don’t respect men who are nice guys and all that in you could be nice to a woman you could pay attention to a woman you could be attentive to her needs you could have your balls intact it’s not like if you’re if you’re nice to a woman or you please a woman or you pay attention to her that you’re giving up your balls that’s like the thing that I didn’t like about pick up cuz I love sharing my woman with some attention so you don’t like what I did was was a super elaborate version of that and yet there’s ways to pay attention in minor ways every single you all the time and so I try to make ordinary time with her you know beautiful and sacred and in treat her like a goddess even if I’m wash will just washing dishes you know like make that a ritual washing dishes so the dishes are done so we can go to the bedroom and we can fuck you know it’s like let’s let’s make washing dishes a ritual let’s make washing dishes set let’s make washing dishes away press to get that out of the way so we have space in our lives and two to pay attention to each other and dropped into a space of Sacred Love and that does not require you going to the jungles I just requires the shift in in your perspective I love it seems like there’s always going to need to be some ratio of people who have had the deeper immersive experiences in the classical traditional timeshare temples and then bring that back and you know it’s like everybody’s not going to be a shaman but we need to have a sweet spot kind of ratio so thank you for having that experience I’m certainly some point wanting wanting to to be one of those folks who can have a deeper experiences and then transmit them and translate them into a more modern contact so so yeah thanks for that clarification and and that makes a lot of sense so so yeah what would what was your next step word some building the confidence not only to please your own lovers but to teach bring this magic and medicine and and then skill sets to Two Men and develop more of a practice of your own let me guess it was very important to me because I went through his program it’s a whole new program that was videos as you know cuz you’re in the videos but so there’s a lot more aid for teaching men and I’m running man through this program I now that I found this in again when I was part of the pickup seen and he was at some some he was speaking at one of them I don’t remember how I ran into him but then I kept running into him like every single week I would go to event and they were all different events that when was The Burning Man event and when was it Astro van with a pick up a bed and was like who is this guy Destin I should call him and talk to him and I went through his program and I became multi-orgasmic so it was like wow I read that might actually work and all of that and it didn’t work but Justin’s program work and now I’m not like a coach like now I am authorized to teach his two other men because he really breaks it down he went through 6 logical Body Works which I actually also went through that trade-in so I see where it comes from I see the roots for it I see why it works and how it works and the bottom line is it works it’s like you can take a man run him through this step by step program in at the end he he’s pretty much has control over his orgasm and it worked for me and it’s working for the men that are going to the program I know it works I mean he’s done it with hundreds and hundreds of men so that was one official training I got and then and another training I got is was why is blueprints with shock yeah I mean that I learned about Jaya Jaya to Destin one of his podcast actually I had seen joy around I seen her she used to promote our books at different events different sexual advance and I would see Jai I kept seeing her also but then I was listening to an interview that just ended with her where she was talking about what she called The Erotic Blueprints and I was in another relationship where I was bringing all my Tantra training in my you know I gazing into this relationship and I thought it was great you know I was having orgasm but the woman wasn’t and I thought well am I what’s wrong and then just kind of said there’s Blueprints and I’m unenergetic like that’s why I love this time. I happen to be an energetic and I can I can really tap into that and I can have these incredible experiences but not everybody is an energetic and then she said then there’s a sensual there’s a sexual there’s a kinky and there’s a shapeshifter and I realized while the woman that I was with was very sexual and I’m sexual also but it was not my primary blueprint so I was speaking to her as an energetic like expecting her to have the same kind of contract experiences but she wasn’t a wire that way and and then sometimes she would just like to just want to like you just want to fuck and I was like what I want to connect first one I gave you like really just want to go there right away so now I’m learning to speak the other person’s language and understand my own language and the woman I’m with now super super sensual that’s why she loved that couch I get because it was all about taste and smell and sound with all the senses so that really turned wrong because of who you was designed to be a sensual experience we’re all over essential were lit up and I know how to I know how to speak the language of a sensual and one of them is example making sure for a sensual if things are out of place if dishes are done at the house is dirty she can’t drop into her body she can’t really experience orgasm so for me clean up the houses is for play because that’s what my that’s what my partner wants she wants all that stuff out of her head because the sensual will get into their head start worrying about stuff and then you know of a few years down the line the partnership is not working out they’re not understanding why they’re not there there they both think they’re having sex but when is having one is not getting their energetic fed and the others not getting their Central fat or their sexual fat so learning the blueprints was like to learn that I was in energetic like blew me away because then I realized it is a thing in that it’s not weird to have these orgasmic experience is just looking into someone’s eyes but it’s also know it may not be the way another person the person I’m with name me not experience it the same way and I can’t force them to have that experience I appreciate that work that was done. Can you say kind of from your training and where you work with her and Emma studies of for blueprint I’m not aware of the podcast before I don’t have it on the top of my head, the backstory of how how she would describe the the process of discovering these beasts different patterns do could you say something to what what to your your recollection is like her kind of backstory around that if if you would let me hear backstory things I mean her backstory she was also sexological bodyworker which is we all have in common me giant Destin we’ve all been trained by the same teacher Joseph Kramer and sexological Body Works and child learn after hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of hours working with couples that there was different couples were turned on by different touch like the man might be turned on by certain kind of touch and the woman might be turned on by a different kind of touch and they weren’t the same so the man expected the woman to respond the way he was responding and then just started to break it down and realized that a sensual is turned on by a completely different sort of touch than the sexual is and they’re actually if you want to know what your blueprint is if you go on my website you can take your who is there is emails that you’ll get I will explain all the blueprints so my website is in-body awakening.com which is e m p o d y m body which is hard to spell under the dash awakening.com hopefully you’ll have this written somewhere so it’s a for sure that’ll be on the Awakening., there’s a quiz on the bottom you can take the quiz for free and then you’ll get emails that looks plain all of them it’ll tell you what your blueprint is and then you’ll get emails at hotel look at 5 different emails that will explain the is the superpower of each blueprint and the shadow side of each have a shadow site to find that out and then again yeah go on the website take the quiz and then you can book a session with me and I can talk about how how you can implement this in your sex life because the blueprints is just one part of my program cool alright well thank you for sharing that and also I think it’s a great point to make that people who have been in this field in this movement and its industry and have done that level of work a game that sense of Mastery and then these emergent properties of being able to distill these kind of macro counter and that’s where that that wisdom and in comes from is that that richness of experience so I appreciate your hearing about that and I know there’s a number of other systems that people have developed to categorize various kind of powder and sand and styles of relating and there’s love languages that you know all kinds of different different metrics and tools that have been developed to kind of self analyze and solve correct and in in an ad so glad that there is more of the sexual and Amore essential systems that are being developed and so yes and then after that now where does that where does that bring us to within in your historical chronological timeline are we getting close to where you’re at now or where was there more happening before we get to the present but no car now what your you can go into the details of the the rock your cock program it sounds like it’s probably drawing on all the influences but that I don’t want to skip over anything before we get there so yeah what where where else what else do we need to cover it to get to the present read marriage I started to want something else got involved in the pickup scene from their got involved in Contra through Sachi on and then became a hypnotist it so it is it’s not like this happen overnight is was 10 years and then you know traveling with Sachi on and seeing these shamanic having the shamanic experience has started to open me up to this other world of that as an energetic at first I would have been like so skeptical because that’s that’s what the shadow of the energetic is it’s like because I was an energetic I was denying that there could possibly be everything have to have a scientific explanation and everything we was bullshit and Kippy and you know I’m coming from the punk background you know those hippies like I had but that was my shadow side because I was actually completely once once I got opened up and started to experience things myself it was like boom I’m in energetic I can feel energy I could I actually have these experiences that I can’t really describe in that not everyone has to believe know if they don’t believe it that’s fine I’m not going to try to convince anyone all I know is I’ve had some incredible experiences so so it was from pick up Tantra hypnosis and then then starting to find the teacher including traveling to Canada traveling to India going to Peru having different a Mexico having different experiences and I think my primary influences then became Destin enjoy shampoo mentored me and taught me their system the system of sexual self-mastery for men so men can become multi-orgasmic and the the blueprints which is like the love languages for the bedroom and what’s nice about it is I can teach this it’s like this is exactly what the pick up pick up Community says I could break it down I could teach it plus I had hypnosis to it so like a high anchor in so you remember the stuff and in fact I’m filming a whole I’m feeling a whole Erotic Hypnosis thing in the middle of filming at we have it work where I put my partner and she’s never even done it before on film where she becomes she has these just from listening going into hypnosis you basically has hypnotics orgasms and I put her on the bed in a hypnotic BDSM session I teach you guys how to do this so this is my own stuff that I’m adding offering a lot it’s like 10 years of all of these different trainings come together into my one Rodger cock I survived that sounds great siding and I can’t I’m jealous that you that you got such a great name for it I got it how did I how did that slip by me all this time you noticed it’s funny it’s funny cuz originally and have more of like a mask you act like I was masculine and Power Man in and he’s kind of names and I just said no fuck it rocks your cock cuz that’s what men want you know even though I’m teaching them spirituality and all this other stuff that’s not going to get them excited rock your cock it’s like yeah because that’s the end result I’m offering the end result rock your cock and that means more than just about getting your cock it’s not about getting your cock hard it’s about showing up as a man in his masculine energy and it is feminine so it’s like I’m being done being sneaky cuz I’m also teaching men to be in their feminine to to be in their heart but not going to get him in the door you know what gets him in the door is it’s about your cock about being a man and it’s about showing up in that way but in order to do that you need to embrace your family and you need to be able to have have experiences trance-like experiences which again you can do through breathing which I teach to help self hypnosis so but yeah the name your cock cuz that’s the end result income for the Shiva and you stay for the shock to you no thank God it’s it’s it’s Punk is Rock You Know rocks you rock it you know it’s it’s about showing up in in in in playing her instrument and just playing it however the fuck you want to you know you don’t have to go and take formal lessons in in school you just you just rock it because it’s natural I love that you. That’s it what’s the point right to get to where things flow naturally and you’re not fighting anything and you’re not having to count all people who are more than the more I guess you could say the the less edgy the less sexual the less explicit but the more kind of family-friendly Orthodox Temple Tantra experiences are going to be a lot of ritual as an end in techniques and tools that that are about you counting beads and Counting chance and getting using all of these Scott all the scaffolding and all of these handrails sort of to build the capacity to have full attention in your body and then eventually you are less reliant on on those techniques and it just you just like a martial artist it’s just there when you need it and you just keep time keeping that refresh so yeah I love that idea that I think we’re kind of stripping away layers of domestication we’re getting back back to a more and body Primal state where it wasn’t we weren’t overcoming so many neurotic not than patterns and things in and it would just be a more natural more that’s also the punk rock thing you know I would say as well as they shed this formalities boxes the first module of my program because it got to clear our our modern the roses and there are blocked because it’s like the about stuff like I don’t believe that any of these you can learn sexual techniques but until you get that’s why it’s modular like I teach Advanced sex techniques but I don’t teach that until you get past your blocks and learn how to be present to your body and your breathing and then again you don’t need to do all the fancy he learn Sanskrit stuff all you need to do is learn how to breathe and feel your body I’m stripping it down I’m I’m not I’m getting rid of all the do you know the esoteric because I know not again not everybody’s an energetic I want everybody to be able to relate to my program so I guess I’m not it’s not part of my even though I did all that stuff I’m not going to teach anyone how to chant in Sanskrit I’m going to teach a man how to breathe into their body so they can feel where they have tension in their body and where they can open up and start feeling their emotions thank you again for everything I think we’re about a good point to wrap up if you want to share some final words of advice final insides and then again where people can go to find your work yeah well my website again I already said it is in body – awakening.com and are they can take the quiz for free and then if you want it there to sign up for a session and when our strategy session where we can talk about how we can use the blueprints and how I can work with men specifically and I would put Township punk in the comments because I think that your audience is in particular audience and I would work with the men that come from this podcast different than men that come from another podcast so I would create an individual program although my I have a module program this whole setup is I would modify it according to my listeners and have a one-hour session with them so that’s embody – awakening.com take the quiz and sign up for a strategy session with me awesome well thank you so much man has been a pleasure to talk shop with you and I’ll still be able to have that a resident so I think sometimes people can lose a grounding this and that sort of bullshit detectors at the punk rock movement I think gives us a very good protector and I can tell that you’re upgrading from that place if a healthy skepticism in and also but open-mindedness to and avoiding Dogma avoiding too much too many rules and in too many I don’t think I don’t think you’re going to fall into the style of a cult leader or become a cult leader yourself in a in a bad way so thank you for your offer doing all that work you’re doing and for glad we got to have this conversation and we will be publishing this in the next couple weeks or so getting through a backlog of a previous guess that’s what I will send you the link and we will hopefully be able to talk more again in the future all right right on cool alright well thanks so much again and have a great day thank you. Country Park. Calm and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and improving the podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple viper bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com Damas de

Living the Dreams and Nightmares of Open Relationships with Mac Styles TPP206

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Mac Styles Pic

In this episode I’m joined by a new friend and fan of the podcast Mac Styles for an epic adventure into the deep mysteries of love, relationships, romance, jealousy, multiple partners, threesomes, marriage, family, and beyond. His book Sex, Chicken and CoCo Butter chronicles his journey of standing up to the limiting dominant sexy paradigm, and literally fighting for his life in the struggle to love and live freely.

We get a behind the scenes look at the mechanics of opening up a relationship and able able to learn from his hard lessons and apply his wisdom to our own experiments and explorations into more wild and free love styles.

I had a great time going along for the ride, his story contains all the makings of a great adult comedy movie, sit com, talk show, reality show, etc. I can’t wait to see the book grow in popularity and help countless people develop more holistic strategies to get their sexual, emotional, financial, and spiritual needs met.

About the book:

Sex, Chicken and CoCo Butter is a narrative taken from the pages of the author’s journals during the five years of learning about different sex lifestyles, including: BDSM, polyamorous, and swinging. Streaming from sex addiction he and his wife at the time, went through a lot of trials and tribulations creating events you couldn’t believe. The author generously opens up his life and relationships to showcase for readers the power relationships with people can have in their lives. The stories talk about people in different sexual lifestyles and life experiences to show a practice not so uncommon and with mistakes that shouldn’t be repeated. The author’s viewpoint will help readers look at their own lives and relationships who practice different sexual lifestyles. The book is definitely not all positive vibes, the author shares many parts of life that are downright hard, and will deepen the impact of a positive outlook on the reader’s relationships. First time author Mac Styles lived every moment on every page of this story and now leads a more relaxed life taking the lessons learned, studying more about these different sex styles, moving on with his life and practicing building healthier relationships.

Facebook page:  www.facebook.com/authormacstyles

You can buy on amazon here! https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Chicken-CoCo-Butter-Styles/dp/1097724883

About Mac:

Originally from Fresno California Mac grew up with a love for writing. Though a difficult childhood he experienced many difficult experiences, witnessing rapes, deaths, and drugs. Masters in Homeland Security, Bachelors in Organizational Management of Criminal Justice, and Certification in Human Resource he has made it far past he ever thought he would as a 10th grade drop out. His writings are taken from his personal life but surrounding his relationships and sexual frustrations, formed in a way to take you on a journey with him. Joining the military at the age of 19 travelled the world and experienced different cultures with a woman whom he also married at the age of 19.

Mac suffered in his relationships due to a sexual addiction that plagued his relationships because of a lack of understanding and experience. Though guidance and mediation being able to channel that energy and focus it in a positive manner has inspired his writings in hopes to have people understand relationships are stronger than you could believe if honesty and sincerity is the base.

Through the last 5 years Mac has practiced BDSM and polygamous relationships and recently over the last 2 years shown an interest in tantra and energy work. Being deployed overseas has been challenging but through different mentors in Europe and a strong passion for understanding he seeks to spread what he has learned to prevent the mistakes he’s done in the past.

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello their beloveds welcome to Township on podcast episode number 206 that being joined by a Mack Stiles and he has been a fan of the podcast and we’ve he said some some kind words and reached out and I’m always interested in having folks who honor me with their kind of tension to share feel like they have a form to share the projects are working on until I get some feedback and hopefully some some attention from the audience and so with that said Mac thank you for joining me excited to hear about what you’re working on and and your backstory Beth amazing Gaston I’ve learned so much from you and I appreciate the offer on your podcast I wrote a book about my introduction into the lifestyle and it was really it expanded into so many different directions I started out as you would say walking around in the dark so to speak on not knowing which way to go as a young adolescent I got married at really young age are married at 18 because of the military so I had to bring my girlfriend with me so we moved into went to high school and went to Spain travel the world saw things but I just wasn’t wasn’t happy sexually if there was no communication between me and my wife and I just kind of logged all that as as we’ve been through and it turned into be pretty good look I’m getting good feedback and I’m returning to be a Lessons Learned book on what not to do and its raw form I was in writing the book you know I I was going to have somebody to chop it up a lot and edit it and everything but I kept in their claws for I’m just checking to see what you get out of the book is really from a Tuesday on an introduction into Queen Polly Polly life and BDSM that sounds great so yeah you know it’s good to hear that there’s people out there who actually showing some of the Shadow men certainly the struggles to get to that point so do you want to tell us kind of give us an overview of the contents of the book and some zoom into some of the highlights from the the journey to opening up and I’m and how are you all reconciled or didn’t reconcile the lifestyle change I’m so the the journey really really really begins when I meet when we go when I travel back to the FaceTime you another woman my wife at the time we had everything like we had the money we have the car as we had an amazing house six-bedroom house do you know that you had kids and all aspects of the world we were living the American dream but I we weren’t communicating with us every time we would get something in return to a fight and you see that in the book so really as soon as I found someone that was open and gave me the power to do what I wanted that it was like a magnet and all she needed to say was I think you need to tie me up and I was on it and you know Google is amazing if you know that look for but if you don’t know what to do and your girlfriend tells you say I think is it time yet the first thing normal people do regular people do would be go to Pornhub or spec site and and try to study what they were doing so there’s there was no real education for me in this realm I was just kind of going off of it and you’ll see later in the book that I found a mentor and then I have the Battle of fighting my ego and listening to everyone in their twenties and early thirties think they know it all so to speak so I’m I go through a process of learning and eventually now I’m a lot calmer cuz of Tantra meditation and and listen to the other plate other podcast study more about what I was doing wrong on the reconciliation I eventually for the divorce mostly because of the separation or I have been done been deployed now for four years and was just wasn’t getting any better so I still love her I love her to death. I have nothing but good things for I want the best for my my beautiful girls at two beautiful girls so I wish nothing but I love her to death but it’s just not a marriage situation that I’m looking for Taurus zodiac few things to catch up on their it sounds very interesting and very evolved that can just tell in your voice that you’ve put a lot of effort into this and it sounds like you know I’ve said for a while that’s if only we put as much emphasis on training and coaching for the sexuality Arts as we do for sports and violence than we would have really balanced cultures and really satisfied people in in and maybe some relationships would be will be healthier so going back to what you were saying what you were doing wrong all along what I’m curious what what do you want now looking back do you feel like we’re some of your the mistakes that you made and your journey so folks who are also starting off can learn from your wisdom and save them spare themselves are learning things the hard way so to speak that I was trying to protect my wife by lying to her like that I need it I knew that if I talk to a fight but when she found out alive we were fighting anyways so from me it was trying to protect the woman that I love and that I want to be with but I just wasn’t happy sexually so trying to communicate better and pushing that it seem like no matter what I did I wasn’t going to happen so but it’s not going to happen either way if you don’t communicate it then it’s not going to happen if you do it behind our backs and it’s the trail and it’s even worse though in through the rest of that run women are so strong and can put up with a live there in love with that person communication and studying and not being ashamed to get a mint or somebody who’s done it before I could have avoided a lot of misery if I would have listened to my mentor and been a lot more honest with the things that I was doing you’ll see in the book are there was there was some times that I love my girlfriend way more than I should have loved my way more than I love my wife at the time cuz I was I was just happy that power of that feeling of happiness that overcomes you is very powerful and learning how to balance that with with a family and a wife and trying to be trying to have things if you want it was very difficult we were we were a poly couple for probably about 8 months to a year and it worked out really well but at the end I was I was lied to the wrong situation and it ended up being exasper so you’re saying that you were that you had basically what people would consider an affair right he had an affair with somebody who who was on a more open path and you’re starting to experience kind of an out-of-the-box thinking sexually and have some of your frustrated desires be fulfilled and that was that was happy but then that you’re saying that that relationship that probably Affair relationship ended badly that there was something at the failed error. Right time of year that was the what’s the difference is where I would probably still be with the girlfriend if I if I wasn’t so far away but yeah we were after after I have the affair then I have the great idea of bringing the girlfriend to the wife and that one over horribly at first but then threw time he has a marriage counseling and and after she almost tried to kill me a few times she pulled a gun on me she tried to stab me and it just got really that really dramatic there for a little while and I was your wife is a Griffin girlfriend in love with out for about a year and we are all together having fun and I had a blast Republic happiest I’ve ever been enough when I kind of decided that was I wanted that lifestyle poly rope that poly lifestyle and and now I’m able to do that I’m able to I’m able to balance that and and have no type of relationship lessons learned of being open and honest and expressing what I want what I need wow that that is amazing that should be a sitcom that should be I mean really you that’s the American dream having your cake and eating it too and and and actually do it like you should you didn’t she didn’t kill you you cheated run away you didn’t run away you didn’t you didn’t leave your kids you know you didn’t you actually stayed and manned up and held your post down and ran your business of being a family man and and you sustained her wave of rage and then now I’m super interested in how you were able to master that transition of integration and transmuting her that Rage of hers into acceptance like that is what we all I thought I would say all straight or straightish men or whatever you know if wish that they could have your cake and eat it too and have what in the poly Community they call in re new relationship energy and think that’s a nice way of I mean the there’s there’s lots of I think really proactive and emotionally intelligent new terms that are coming out from the Poliwhirl like compersion about you know the opposite of jealousy actually enjoying seeing pleasure happened with someone who love that it’s in your in your just avoid her or you just know about it and feeling good about a resin bad and this other notion of new relationship energy the old Paradigm would be from a negative Place saying oh you you hate me you sick of me you don’t want me you want some BLS I’m shit so I’m going to be suicidal and homicidal now as opposed to being like Oh new relationship energy I get it I seek that too I feel like seduced in excited by that every time I walk out the front door and actually went to go and favor and then had tacos and margaritas after it was as if it was a very Twisted web and I look forward to turn into some type of thick, movie or something cuz it was it’s a really good read I’ve got nothing but good reviews I’m not the greatest the book isn’t the greatest as far as the sexy and then there’s the second in there but it’s it’s in there for a reason when when we connected like there’s a scene where me and my wife and my girlfriend I’ll get a room at a hotel and we’re having a good time together and my wife is in her face and I’m and I’m you know having sex with my girlfriend and we all connect and it’s perfect like that feel like I was on top of the world and then my wife went to the bathroom and then me and my girlfriend who really like really getting it in life turn around the corner and saw that I was enjoying myself basically without her and she flipped the script she ran to the car so let me in a hotel you know 3/4 miles away from the 3-4 hours away from the house and it was just a complete disaster so we went through all of that so endure that and put up with a lot of those things as isn’t far-fetched that’s that was the old way this is even more if it’s even more exciting cuz I think this is like it’s so I feel like figuring out how to get to Mars on figuring out how to have cold fusion even World Peace it’s like making I think we’ll get this feels like it’ll be sooner and you would appreciate this from you know you’re at your career is it like it’s like it’s more likely almost I think that that we will all come together and meltdown all of the national borders sing Kumbaya and forget all of the religious conflicts before women in these situations and men but people in these situations will actually not be psychotic around sharing each other’s body with other people like and it seems like if we saw that if we can figure out how to solve that then these other bigger issues of world peace and and green technology and you know economics like I think they’re all going to flower and Blossom from these bedroom issues so if you could I would love to to zoom into that because you know iPhone I’ve been dancing on those eggshells you know and and really studying these interpersonal Dynamics and I’m trying to figure out how to find those harmonious interactions among the women wear the obsessiveness over who gets the man and who gets the majority of the man’s wealth which is what is the bigger subconscious thing to me especially if you have the kids I mean it’s an economic bargain you know on your it’s it’s there’s so much going on there about who is going to take the Lion’s Share literally the Lion’s Share of like what efforts were talking about a more Primal State it’s like the economics of your the stud and you come back with a kill and of course you’re going to share with everybody but there’s going to be a sort of hierarchy of who you share it with which members of the clan or the tribe of the band in the psych those sexual politics around around resource-sharing they get they can get very tricky but there is a sweet spot and I think we used to know how to be very women to you know they could bargain with their with their sexuality and men with bargain with their sexuality and we’re just going to such a high-stakes game now where if you did if you did fall in love with someone else I would say that I would imagine the logic of your wife is that I’m going to be homeless at the soup kitchen line with my kids being taken away by the state if this guy if this guy has more pleasure with someone else I am at risk of losing my you know my Empire or you know the queendom of the kingdom of whatever so could you talk about your just get really deep into the as much as you can you know you care to share that isn’t too you know confidential or whatever route what you were learning from the conscious and subconscious conflicts between the women over you and your resources and your cock and your love in your heart I would say that you’re right on about the Primal Instinct there because she didn’t give up even give up a lot of jealous thing did a lot of you would say things were okay but then we came to do them we would fight for it almost did not let things things sexually between us started getting better because of the competition we were having sex almost every day I I was and no secret Manor will I ever go to sleep tight back and there was no conversation on anything outside of that so once I got the girlfriend things became very very interesting she started finding the swingers party she started trying to compete and make you happy so I would that would agree with you in the fact that I started to pick up after that getting down deeper I think both of them really love me and help me out in the situation cuz I didn’t have a father either I was there when I didn’t have a family member to turn to if they hate my life who was amazing but it only get you so far until you run out of this is Uncharted Territory for me and I don’t know what to do wow this is even this is just continuing the flow and get more amazing your Vista Camanche is because I mean I have I’ve sacrificed a lot to avoid a lot of you situations and but you had The Bravery to go through it and live it and and you know I’ve been I’ve been a fugitive on the run from some of the most excited women who have just made me very I would say hesitant to to get into those deeply embedded financial and and and familial relationship relationship dynamics that make it like so explosive and destructive when things go go wrong you know so I have like the time has been good for me because it does give you that sort of permission and exaltation to not be a householder and do your spiritual path and devote up to vote one lifetime or you know however many you want but it’s like you want to walk away from the village and go be a freaky you know you know Shaman Mystic out in the mountains or whatever like that’s cool you know and then you might have some insights that can trickle back down and and serve people who are living that really routinized family life and so you kind of you give them both so that makes you a hero and contract terms a Time trick hero for doing the spiritual work and the family work and in an opening up so I applaud you for that for sure and I want to ask you also know about so this is very very interesting when you what you just and this would definitely be like an important part of a film script r or a playwright you know where you’re you’re really exposing something that we all know about which is you know you could call him any different things but for lazy sex or just going through the motion sex or even what one of my partner said when I was becoming, not so much a Lazy Lover but it wasn’t like you said we weren’t talking it wasn’t knew it was like the same as just became the same fucking thing and it was like in in the the pockets of time in between work and commuting and chores and whatever and it just was not sacred it wasn’t scheduled it wasn’t really high energy and it was done when we were exhausted and all we could do is just lay there on her fucking sides at a point so yeah I could you can talk more about that because I think we all get in that trap and if that’s what kills everything you know cuz afterwards she enjoyed it she enjoyed doing the party enjoyed playing with other girls and experiencing that but it took it took a lot to me to find another girlfriend that was do it openly and that it would be okay for us to get to that point and it should have never experienced those things together instead of the why am I not enough why can’t you just be satisfied with me constant discussion that was whatever to always go back to 2 the wheel of boredom in inconstant didn’t answer that routine was a war I have everything I had the family the kids cars that I were in that aspect of life I would have been content but I just the routine was killing me something to break me out of that routine I went for it I was happy in that power that work happy is very very powerful you want to stay somewhere. The woman that I was with the girlfriend didn’t have all those things you were the borderline alcoholic and I couldn’t talk to you if you were my friend and turn made her want to do more and the Twisted the story towards the end is she made me get rid of the girlfriend found a new girlfriend and I was supposed to be for both the bus with him leaving me tell me if you want to divorce you didn’t have time later but ended up having another girlfriend and not include me in it not coming home you know how I dealt with that in the book was probably not the right answer either cuz I wouldn’t say I was jealous but when your wife doesn’t come home and she’s off with the girlfriend everyday and I got a taste of my own medicine I ended up going back with the girlfriend and then we started to start living her life with her girlfriend I was with my life with my girlfriend and family Dave do both kind of sit in the house and plan on each other and in that aspect I think that was stuck with the most was with my kids with my grandma with their grandma or my family by my wife not coming home yeah man this is this is so interesting honestly feel like this is what if America hadn’t been so grotesquely addicted to the toxic drama and that was being screwed by Jerry Springer imagine if Jerry Springer was actually a ton trick Master healer BDSM coach all those things and he would actually facilitate group orgies on stage and it would just you know it would go x-rated after a certain point you know it could be a he’s actually stirring up an and reinforcing all of the negative sex sex negative homophobic like like those I just think about every Jerry Springer episode if I could have been there to counterbalance what with a paradigm that was being maintained by Jerry Bengston we will be talking we will be all having these Oprah like crying her eyes out give me a box of tissues moments of like people actually realizing hey it’s okay to like see another man naked fucking her wife if it’s okay to you no have a girlfriend cuz your boy because your husband has a girlfriend and you want to have your own thing like and just actually thinking these things out well maybe that was great for grandma because she wanted to hang out with the kids for well well this is not mean seriously this is needs to be the night the new enlightened thing because people can learn a lot from this and I’m really fascinated by the like I feel like if there’s if there’s anything on my run has a lot about now it’s about it’s about like showing initiate women into the mystery of not necessary lesbianism but at least bisexuality so that they see what they’ve been missing out on and it sounds like you were so successful that almost backfired on you but I feel like I want to say that’s a good problem to have because you know what I think is so beautiful about bisexuality is that is that it short-circuits that I have to be everything to you script because if you know somebody’s but like if I know a woman’s bike actual I will know that I can never ever be more than 50% of meeting her needs and so I can be content with that and I don’t have to consume all of her and control her and find her I can be like yeah I know I’m only going to be like half the battle of you know when it comes to your your your love and sex life so I’m cool with that and going to win on these things yet go out for now go up on what just the the process of the other process of what I guess what it was like for you to facilitate the initiation of a woman into like had she ever been with women before was a totally new to her when she totally freaked out by it and then she warmed up or I had expressed a little what I wanted and she said that she was curious but and you wanted to do the thing every time the situation came up it was always the first the very first woman that we were able to have a girl on her phone and talked and acted as my wife basically saying hey come help me with this dick and I swear to God it wasn’t it wasn’t five minutes because she was knocking on the door blanket and pillow ready to have some drinks and get it in but my wife and then and then but then my wife was like no I have to make sure my mom has all all the tax information if you need to find excuse for everything what I wanted and he’s going to do it for me so she took a deep breath is a story of the spot for a couple weeks and then we did it again and then there was some funny story that you start this the woman is going to have rules of what you want what what makes me the wife what makes me more special than her why or whatever so her rule was I couldn’t I couldn’t eat out another girl we went out to a is going into the book too but we went out to the club and we all had a good time I wasn’t drinking cuz I was with you. But once we got to see if I binge drank and base with this plan blacked out and she I don’t remember much of anything so I don’t drink much anymore like to do it myself but he was so mad cuz I guess I hadn’t the girl out and she was so mad you left outside and she thought she locked herself outside in time we were on the beach and in the naked woke up naked outside and I ended up waking up and she wasn’t there and hand that turned into this situation was a lot harder otherwise this was a lot easier this process is a lot harder Because You Loved Me a lot of jealousy involved but I think that if I would have been a lot more able to communicate what I wanted and make sure that she felt more special and I gave her something where I pay more attention to her than it would have been in love with love and respect those things that I wanted would have been I don’t think that I was doing that as a husband I was cuz I was bored I was upset I was mad at the fact that every time you try to do something so I wasn’t getting money for filled and I definitely wasn’t feeling her and there was the conflict of you want to do this for me but afterward they haven’t benefit out of it now I’m right now I’m I’m able to realize by the person needs attention in this matter if holidays and and then I need to pay more happy to give you those things yeah that says a lot right there because you know I think that’s the that’s the secret and that’s The Sweet Spot and it’s really a paradox because a lot of times it’s like people don’t seek that new relationship energy until the nest is is fouled and and it’s like in a perfect world it would be a preventive it’s like one ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure you know so stay hey we know we’re going to get bored with each other the the honeymoon phase is going to wear off we’re going to really start like looking over each others shoulders you know as we kiss and because we know that’s inevitable let’s actually set up those parameters now and figure out what we got to do to have the most solid and secure primary family Corps Duty responsibility relationship happening and that way it’s always adding a bonus and it’s not feeling like it’s it’s exploiting a weakness to to to have the new relationship energy in it and you know a perfect world we would all be doing that but it’s almost like in the shin hurts like people have this aversion to two contracts you know how they say like by like the saying contracts are going to save more friendships and they’re going to destroy even if it’s things like borrowing a few bucks you know what I mean like people think are no contracts that’s for strangers and people who don’t trust each other know it’s for fucking everybody and every one of your other podcast you were talking about remember that remember that new love feeling look what you did to make that person feel special or the things that made each other happy because like you said that like the other podcast back towards the end of the you know when the love is gone and the feeling is gone and they don’t remember how to make that person to do that way again and that is a lot of the writing that I’m doing now to the things that are working is what been taught me today to put in number two in and how I developed them came from the wandering in the dark to the light sand and opening my third eye so to speak in the realm of well I will again I’m really touched knowing that I’m having this affect tinnitus that you know this is really the I feel like so much of the work that I do is like really sci-fi and it’s kind of like something that should be quarantined into a very no Dark Sector of research on human sexuality but really the fruits the fruits of that composting that the sewage of the human no experience should be that we have way more happy and healthy standards for getting our needs Madden for avoiding the really toxic and negative things that that turn into different forms of abuse so you know what to hear you talk about it really been able to apply some of the the more sunny day bright shiny happy stuff that I can talk about it’s really it’s really nursing for me to hear that cuz that’s just yeah man we should we should not be we should not be feeling like Humanity was born yesterday with all the stuff you know like every generation should be building on more wisdom and so thank you for doing this this great work it’s so brave of you to have explored this and now I’m really excited about the book I hope you have a great voice to would you consider doing an audiobook version for those of us who are so so multitasking and Hyper testing that we can’t barely slowed down at my editing skills are probably not up to par really should be so yes I am but I’m definitely going to and I want to write the script I really went through so much I don’t think there’s ever going to be a movie out there at the live the life that I live the during actually wrote this years ago and in the process of everything but I was too nervous and do the same dance to at all these emotions surrounding that that it was impossible to publish but I feel like I’ve grown into another person so to speak that I am not that person anymore and I can learn to that other people shouldn’t have to go through for sure man so also yeah happy to go for another few minutes and and get into the other sort of this the subplot or if this was a movie you know you would get the scenes of you and your personal Agony and your personal process and then the the scenes of the two women that you’ve introduced in the storyline and their private worlds and their ways of dealing with things and then all the just the snapchats that you would get from the different triangle Dynamics but there is like a another character which is kind of the Medicare actor and that is the mentor you speak of so could you tell us about how that relationship development evolved and then how that started to inform you and certainly I think most importantly when you say that if you would only had that meant to her earlier on you would have made these mistakes I’m super curious what that meant to or told you later that you would have applied that would have made these things work better in addition to what you said about how you just you know you could have kept it clean her house as far as the beekeeping the relationship more secure but yeah whatever you got from that let’s hear that and there was two speeches is being kind of Taboo in the area so I opened a swinging Groupon on social media and if we rushed it was doing amazing I was having parties before it was everything that I wanted but I want entertainment at my party so I started searching out for performed or something along those lines and I met up with a guy who was offering that service and he turned out to be a great friend of time and he started telling me about his role as a Dom and just started like Steve college and I was like I had no idea that was just deep and then I started diving into more of the DSM stuff because my girlfriend wanted it I really didn’t know what I was doing last night so he would he would teach me really the mental game of things that I stood 50 doing as far as paying attention or even different techniques with DSM how to flush don’t know how hot I mean it can be taught to do it correctly or where is the Rope play is I’m still learning that I’m I’m going to a lesson on Thursday so I mean there’s so much to learn in this realm how to be better and what to do better there’s always something new to learn from I mean if you go to summon to you I guess DSM Fire play and all that kind of you have to be able to look for a little boy got me to the point where I was able to pinpoint different person sign in to make sure that she came quickly or I could pressure point then he was very educational land and taught me a lot of very humbled to he was a good Mentor at the time that’s cool I’m glad to hear that and I think that should go that should serve as a public service announcement that end in the sometimes underground sometimes more above ground but but certainly in the adult communities there is a lot of mentorship available and a lot of camaraderie and solidarity and people are very open and very excited to share and to greet new people in the yeah I think as men it’s must much less that is as in with all sectors I think it’s much less predatory and you would have you would have less of a of a chance of having a bad experience you know just showing up to a play party or a dungeon or whatever so I would say if any if it if to the young women who are listening to this you know use the buddy system because not not everybody out there and in these Realms has your best interest at heart and maybe you want to go for that hike if it’s your thing to be you know put into into risky situations then I’m not going to you no say there’s anything wrong with you but I would say that there is there’s a lot more good than bad I think that if the case could be made that it’s the it’s the the vanilla Society where the Shady stuff happens because there are no rules no is no discussion and Consciousness so it’s probably probably safer in a dungeon then on the street or at a club member always welcome and always willing to teach and I’m sure what they got what they want to do and I’m watching normally at those type of education welcome to learn from each other so and I definitely don’t put yourself into a situation where there is locked door is too and I’ve been doing this now for seven or eight years and I rarely have been experiencing some bad experiences in my book because there’s there’s a couple where drugs does the party than I thought things were going to get out of control but I was able to calm him down and then the situation is still out there but more often than not wanting to pass their knowledge so definitely keep out the mentorship and and if you have any questions yeah I find somebody that I found them by the accident but knowing that you can go to those those website and type in words you can find pray I’ll survive well this is really been a treasure and unfortunately the audio quality has been phasing in and out which I think we should talk again sometime and and if I go up and see if we can get a better audio call you but I will do my best to get this to to sound as good as I can but I think that overall the the vibe is set and I feel like it’s a it’s even more of a teaser that it’s like oh my God I just want to I want it I want to hear this whole story I told you this totally and that is a good spin on some trouble that I got myself into but section and you can find it on the page author next by Kool and I will do you want to give so that was good enough for just for people to find it do you have an exact homepage website or just Google search Amazon right now but there’s no other book that I can find that sex chicken and cocoa butter cocoa butter yes that is it sounds like a fun evening yeah can’t wait to know what that with that actually is is talking about so I do want to say and respect life has been nothing but supportive and because we put I put a lot of the you know the secret lives on on post are on on blast and then so she’s been very supportive and loving and I think she’s growing as a person to so I want to commit to her in the mail my ex girlfriend because they’ve both been so amazing so in support of something that was a secret world 2 at one time yeah thank you for saying that I actually have a book that is in editing with the publisher right now and I can say the same thing like I just want to thank everybody who I gave a fictitious name to but basically totally exposed in and put a spotlight on you know hopefully was all for all of our growth and evolution and and for sure man I’m glad that that’s working out for you and who knows maybe she’ll hit me up and be like hey I wrote a book to Bam here’s the other kids riding her but everything okay you come come with your book and then you fucking like man this is so constructed like thank you for being constructed with this this usually goes in such terrible horrific and then the children are always the ones who are victimized the worst when when adults don’t have their their bedroom game figured out right so you know so right on that will I wish you the best and yet hope you feel all so you know that you’re you’re fighting the good fight out there in the world and I wish you the best in that department and she have any other words you want to share the clothes that’s great but I think you did a great a great job and thanks for for sharing everything is really a blast thank you was an honor you for listening to the touch of Time Podcast please go to www.crunch.com and click on the Donate button to help support the shop in addition to sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple after bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been at Country Park. Com Thomas gay

 

Partner Yoga with Gayatri Mantra

oṃ bhūr bhuvaḥ svaḥ
tatsaviturvareṇyaṃ
bhargo devasyadhīmahi
dhiyo yo naḥ prachodayāt
– Rigveda 3.62.10

Hacking Group Romance as a Porn Director not a Cult Leader TPP200

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In this episode I’m joined by a mystery guest for a wild comedic adventure into the repressed caverns of my erotic mind. She holds enthusiastic and giggly sacred space for me to get on a roll lamenting about the current state of monogapathic culture. She helps me get through a lot of catharsis in exploring my life history of drama and madness surrounding opening up to more inclusive group sexual and romantic encounters. With her gracious support, I’m able to take liberties in the manner in which I share some of my most passionate and taboo-breaking fantasies. With care and consideration for ethics and holism, I attempt to induce a few laughs as I graphically depict my experimental designs for hacking group romance.

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin pillow their beloveds welcome to Township Punk podcast episode number 200 I just got back from an East Coast tour with the punk rock metal band and I’m thrilled to say we had a great time and did very well and I made it back in one piece and this is an exciting episode 200 Extravaganza where are some of my backlog recording this and this was one of the one of my favorite ones that I had to choose from for the episode 200 and I think you will really Joy it is definitely something different it is it is a my first summer unintentional extended comedy monologue with a a wingwoman of sorts and she’s holding space for me to bring forth into a level of of hilarity that I don’t normally I don’t know don’t normally summon and don’t really feel as is often appropriate but once you get on a roll when you start to really stimulate somebody’s Funny Bone verbally then it’s it’s hard not to to just run with his so it may be offencive it may be a little over-the-top and in that what we’ve come to appreciate about that classic stand up comedian form is that you’re able to get away with exposing truths in a very heated very sometimes aggravated state of mind and people cathartically get off on someone else saying what speaking out there are deeper taboo thoughts so if this is the first episode you’ve heard of mine it is definitely uncharacteristic of most of the rest way I tend to joke here and there but really really typically try to be pretty reserved and really focus on a I’m more of a dialogue with a guess this in this case it’s it’s almost completely One Direction all but her being there is absolutely essential in order to get that Dynamic flowing and it certainly in the sense of Comedy it really helps I don’t know how people can just write write comedy in their own inner sanctuary and not have that that reverberation in that that feedback and and dynamic but anyway this is a lot of fun and what we’re talking about what I’m talking about. Manly and she’s helping hold the space for me to really mansplain in an unethical way really is talking about the the bloopers and Antics and Folly and what I’ve learned from attempts to hack this notion of group romance and really learn from a lot of mistakes and really create sort of personal interpersonal living breathing think-tank research experiment out of how to best overcome the limitations that we have in most modern patriarchal monotheistic minago Pathak cultures where our options are very limited and our experience and Expo are two other modes of loving and healing and relating romantically they’re completely systematically cauterized by these Disneyland archetypes of monogamy and whatnot so I get into the higher level kind of macro cultural analysis and critiques and then we get into a lot of really fun really absurd ridiculous and playful visual kind of comedic audioporn take to get through some of the designer ideas of how to how to be hacking group romance and I’m really this is it from my perspective a a male centered male-oriented you could call it phallocentric you could say I’m being a chauvinist here but really I think it’s about making sexual gratification in the feeling of love and connection amongst people be as egalitarian as possible and really work with what you have within your your orientation your identity your group of friends and just explore those boundaries and really gamify group romance and hopefully this really stands is a introductory Treatise on why it’s important to explore these things and what the the payoffs are so hope you enjoy it this is definitely for me one of my top favorite episodes of all time because of where we where we get to in the end of Vibes of it you know I hope that it leaves you rolling on the floor and also curious and also emboldened to take more adventurous steps in the future of your love life all right thank you very much if you’ve been with me along waist episode 200 thank you for for being with me and enjoy this historic episode thank U Namaste and they would not be comfortable with you hacking the storylines of of compulsory monogamy and telling stories very festive stories about what it’s like to like not be in patriarchy and like it she does she know yeah that’s what good for sale teacher reflect a picture or no one’s happy everybody’s miserable and just whining about it new relationships breaking out and being her and then just repeating the cyclist over and over is very defeatist like cry about level of times but at least you’re feeling something at least you’re not a total sociopath narcissist like don’t even care spending to steal it self-inflicted stuff too cuz you just like wanting holding on to like the painful stuff I guess we’re like people that aren’t making like the best for you but it’s sad and it’s like Basin and being married and being screwed if you lose that Financial Lifeline life support so there we have listed this is the in permaculture design Geoff Lawton and it likes to use this teaching to a witches that when it comes to like agriculture what you’re talking about gardening earlier today but it’s like this so if you only plant one crop in a field that’s a lot like fishing with a single line where they know that if that crop fails or that line breaks your your your Sol and so the smart Fisher person would say I let me fish with a net so that if one or even several of those lines break with internet I still have a functioning device here so that’s what you could systems do and that’s why polyculture in gardening and Horticulture polyculture means multiple different phrase things as opposed to monoculture so you can make this analogy very happy to monogamy and monoculture and still what’s resilient in an ecosystem diversity right the more diverse ecosystem the more resilient it is the more flexible adapter is in more abundant and flourishing it is so monoculture monogamy monotony it’s and then that’s why people are living in this wounded heart broken real disaster of a reality and it’s just profit people that make the Laurie handlers cuz it seems like I’m she said in her podcast if this was a easy the country cafe or sex and happiness she said to podcast over the years she makes an excellent point that she’s over his doesn’t not interested in the heartache that sells and wants to crack break your heart open to love everyone pretty much and to have new experiences and to be open to new experiences and so have a very regenerative heart and I would like the concept of being a heart Gardner so like I’m trying to I have not just one heart that I love her that I tend I have a garden that I attend of many hearts and some of them need more attention at times some of them you know every more self-sufficient some of them could tell me to get lasted for cough and don’t even want want me like even looking at them and everything in between so then you know being a heart Gardner and trying to keep them all alive and and not neglect them and be responsible for like letting them Blossom letting them rot on the vine either you know anyway so there’s so much to learn and so much to sing about so sincere singer I’m a singer we’re going to think about this stuff. We also actually I need to have experience to know where the fuck were talking about so that’s where we begin with what where does the authentic Journey actually begin and that’s where we and I just watched Breakfast Club where they were it’s like this painstaking process of socially engineering the truth out of what how and what circumstances virginity was happening or not happening so we all have virginity is two different things even if we popped her cherry City this week so so we’re at the precipice of The Virginity of your experimental lesbianism is it a few dedicated to your not identified as a woman now what do you mean what I mean is that my I’m very interested in the notion of you having sex with a woman if you if you want to sit at one point I was very blunt and I asked you and I risked I risked being considered a British attend to try to do that so it’s basically asking if I’m if you’ve ever had if you would have ever had sex with a woman and if not would you like to and you said you would like to but you like to what you say roll around with me first right I think that’s yeah so that could be arranged so basically you know that’s compromised that’s that’s how you have probably that’s the beginning of it is like what do you need what a minor needs how can we meet in the middle somewhere and so well this is what is so interesting to me and what I am going to share is like my design concept that I put a lot of effort into trying to figure out which is this is that okay if we really break the stuff down what we don’t have what we have a lot of experience of as children is being gently yet with with I would say lowercase authoritarianism weird we are compelled by adults to share toys and we learn against whatever maybe that jealous or envious nature or selfish nature we learn to to actually eventually Delight in the gift of sharing something with others so that we actually realize that there’s this abundance of my face you know it’s not like hopefully it’s not like you don’t eat the toy in the toy is something that doesn’t get destroyed after one use of the toy I’m so that you can hand it on and and let other people experience so what somewhere along the path of puberty we get program to lose that fundamental sociability and Collective position of like the toys that we would be sharing on the playground and once we develop and grow and have her own public Parts in appropriate age appropriate settings to explore Inn Express in which we all know is lacking in this culture and that’s why we have abusive all kinds cuz we don’t have rice passage and we don’t know when we are to do wet when howl with himself in a healthy way or holistic way I should say so we’re we are fumbling in the dark trying to figure this stuff out and somewhere we get cursed with these imprints of monogamy that is compulsory compulsive Naga me bound up in Notions of being a prince and a princess and all of these socioeconomic status oriented ways of like something being mine a person me owning that person this status symbol so there’s I’m not saying anything for you know this groundbreaking to indict these memes and this culture architecture and you know they have spoken to like many people feminists just look at feminist anthropology in the critique of domestication in the in the critique of civilization and patrilineal descent and the the the the way that wealth and land and power is handed down from a meal bloodline Emil name Inlet that’s why you control you would need to control the female sexuality and reproductive freedom in order to guarantee that your son gets your land in and not someone else’s so that’s that’s the patriarchy connection and we want to what super tall that perverted and silver and actually compost the patriarchy is she so I don’t think there’s a there’s no there’s nothing more subversive then then then opening up relationships because once you start buying less because old do do we need to each have our own garage filled with tools from big box stores or can we all share one fucking tool set amongst us all lovers sharing each other’s bodies it’s not rocket science and it’s not rocket science way they have made it so difficult to be relating sexually openly with computers with a peer group and neighborhood of adults because they want us all to be in our little boxes buying one of every that have everything and not sharing anything and therefore it cuts into their bottom line so we are doing our best to compost the patriarchy to be subversive and actually have a lot of fun doing it it’s not a dip revation and sacrifice to have more fun sexually with more people it is a little bit more requisite of time for emotional care and tenderness for sure it’s complicated and it is and is medically important to be but if it’s as if you can play any video game that you play any board game you can gamify Sexual Health in a group you can end in the end not to do bring it to the light and be like okay well we match here like literally HSV expressing in one part of the body can match to that and another person other parts of body and you can pretty much pretty much know you’re safe at that point there’s there’s ways to gamify these things so that you know curses can be blessings in yet make it very used that’s who we need to design the user-friendly interface for people to connect and 4 shame and not even just the end of course the STI status stuff but also people who just have body issues about so we can be mixing and matching his stuff and yeah. There’s an app for it kind of a thing you know in this world so so we’re getting there and you know you pull the card and you know people who so it will and that’s why that’s the reason to do yoga so that you can hold these sexual positions forever because he like baby words said when a man basically two pair of fruit to fear fear for his baby Ward and I’m mixing a couple of I’m adding a couple together of her if you’re beautiful phrases but basically if I were Davey word I would probably say something like if I if I was balls do you know when your balls deep in me I want it to last forever I want your penis in my vagina forever and I can’t Rainman how to make that possible and actually there was a good scene in Jerry Maguire where she asked for him to she’s don’t ever stop fucking me in a kind of like kills the mood when he says I think I’ll have to stop at some point and then they fucking break up with a douche no sorry to tell you I love you tons hear me okay forget about it Interview with the Vampire okay stop me somebody for the cold water on me right now all right yeah it was Saved by the Bell you is just batteries going to last all night long you’re you’re you’re getting okay so it’s yours work as graphic this is where he’s going to get more perverted this is building it up so building and Outdoors like what is it why does this matter that’s why why am I trying to have so much fun packing monogamy and the shame and the pain and the jealousy and the limitation it’s just it’s false it’s completely insane and in deranged and and I will not tolerate it for one more second my life and in that spirit I say I’ve done the boyfriend-girlfriend thing I’ve done in monogamy thing I’ve done a jealousy thing and then a hard brake thing so if somebody enters my life and is attracted to me I go out how this is interesting erotic energy flowing in my direction how can I not manipulated not abused if not not not heard it or harm it but actually let it flow through my little garden design of more pleasure and then also this is the thing where I feel like I’ve made an important hack an important this is because this is been going back to how we learn to share so this is as an adult with adult content adult appropriate settings of course but really bring it down and that’s why I am a huge fan of psychedelic sexuality because it inhibits the neurotic aspects of the ego and if you’re going to trust in space and you have referees and you have good guidance and going on in people are observing and being Sheriff’s that to the boundaries when the people are you know any in there Altered States but would you with the beauty of it is that you get to explore again and you get to explore bodies and he could do store your own body and it’s not a story about who’s owns this and who’s rights to this and fuck where’s all the paperwork and did I swear to it tonight so that’s and it doesn’t have to be an orgy of people fucking very sloppily very carelessly when you get into the tantric practices of massage wherever it’s about it’s really the best things really happen with the most intentional experts killed manual and leading up to of course different forms of penetration with genitals but it’s underrated how much how much pleasure and how deep deep healing we can be with their hands with each other in and really there’s no excuse not to be doing that cuz you’re not going to make babies and they just called outercourse or mutual masturbation went on so that’s where rather than rushing from first base to second base and all of that hyper rush to the Finish Line stuff fit culture this culture is trained to do you actually can start out saying okay it could literally be a fun and fulfilling and safe Friday night for a group of friends 2 take each other to take their clothes off and use their hands to induce different types of orgasms in each other consensually and into explorer that and so that’s where I say the games of politics becomes like whose are you fucking that is long as you if you if you keep that off the table a little just long enough and this is what so at what I have there is like a Zone that is safer emotionally and medically to play in in groups to actually start to rewire and meltdown those belief systems so that you have a clean slate in in your capable of exploring slowly and building on the new Pannu template that you design and we’re very plastic a blank brain can be reformatted we can 3 format is hard drive as many times we want there’s no limit to it and we were it’s absurd to think they were stuck in a 2000 year old paradigm I’d rather be in a 200,000 Euro Paradigm cuz that’s where the real phone was happening anyway but we’re going to get to the Primal Anarchy of lovemaking groups in just a minute now so break here’s how we break from breakthroughs goes invisible prison cells in our minds about monogamy and so I figured it out like how I would like to conduct a ceremony words like okay this is my penis here and there’s people that want to play with it and put it in different parts of their bodies and hopefully have a good time with it and if it really like Gibson gets them there and brings them there and then delivers the goods then they will become deeply deeply addicted to that experience and Anna on a level that is that is beyond any extreme passion of any terrorist has any ideology the amount of passion that and I would say a woman from in my experience the level of chemical spiritual just that’s what we should be living for men who love who love women is like for them to be taken so far out and so far in that they will want to kill other people who take threatened to take that experience away from them I every other women that you’ve ever known that you might never know so that’s where we have this conundrum which is like it is so good like I want you to be obsessed with me but I do not want you to be obsessed with me you know cuz that’s right cuz I’m going to kill myself if you’re not obsessed with me but I’m going to run away from you and run into the street if you’re obsessive me so either way I die do you know yeah and I had to run in the street to avoid women who are obsessed with me and it’s no joke cuz otherwise I would have thought they didn’t love me if they weren’t a homicidal maniac it’s right so there’s a way to disperse that energy and it’s like oh wait a minute he’s fucking me but I’m making out with a woman and looking into her eyes and who do I lose what it oh my God is I don’t know who is fucking me right now but it feels great and I agreed to it like I signed off that anyone can fuck me tonight with this and that and this so like I don’t know who to write the check to you know what I mean like anymore it’s just too much just don’t stop so I’ve been there and I’m never going back to the the the hell rounds it is about diffusing that pleasurable experience across so many different Souls that it’s impossible to Tribute it to one person and really I believe that this is not an astoundingly long wide penis that I have that I think is perfectly shaped to do what it was designed to do and I’m happy with it whatever yeah I’ve gotten good reviews so far in life women who wanted to kill other women because they were so possessive of this thing that it’s just like always wants to do is just be warm and wet and love them that is so I have a beloved partner and you know I would kiss your boobs goodbye and tell him to be good every day knowing if she was like why I never did anything bad to anybody ever and I realized that was the pure essence of innocence is Brett’s cuz like you can never say that they ever do anything bad to never manipulated anybody they never play games with anybody they just give and give and give you know so anyway that’s another story if we could only all aspire to be as innocent as a breast but never do anything to hurt anybody ever never had to be told to be nice just what is nice you know x-ray sexual Zen state that people would have to meditate for years if they didn’t eat mushrooms to figure that out like become a breast and live in the consciousness of breast in this and just experienced pleasure and give pleasure and don’t fucking overthink it you know it as long as everybody is of legal age and sound mind and knows what they’re signing up for essentially we can work out the details but I’ve been in those moments where it’s like yes what’s making this woman lose her mind and ecstasy is 80% the emotional connection with other women that she is sharing and then I am there to be basically a prop to the beautiful. Theater of feminine understanding and that is when I understood For the First Time The futility of women trying to squeeze blood from a stone to make bullheaded dumb men who would rather be playing video games or breaking shit or glowing sit up or doing something fucking mindless and heartless for fun and just acting them and making them be a woman when they’re not a woman because they can’t explore sexual intimacy with other women because they’re afraid of the taboo of lesbianism and because it would be against the rules and whatnot so when melted down and was in a sensor Moniz were psychedelic ceremonies wear them all of these stories were melted away and it was just women in fucking ecstasy the agony and ecstasy and using my cock is a prop but also as an energetic current in a source of love and that my refinement was allow me to be in that space and I realize that it’s like it is so cumbersome to be responsible for a woman’s orgasm in a love making session why would I want all of that burden on myself it’s like I have to at my age I have to think about not coming too fast beat not losing my erection and in trying to make a sincere emotional sincere present connection with the person who I am kissing is with that is enough for me to have to do it now I’m responsible for her squirting and I like coming in the same say when I saw the leveraging of all these other women and how freely flowing the orgasms come when the openness in the connectedness is there with other women so so like I said I’m not taking a step back and now if anybody wants to come at me they’re going to have to go through that that ate a form of of grade school of learning in or black ass like that you’re going to come at me do you want to fuck me you need a black belt in loving me to get in and if you go into any Karate Dojo they’re not even said hey I want to do what you do can you hand me your black belt right now please here I’ll give you a beer can I buy you a beer and then you give me a black belt no stupid you’re so stupid Bibb so what was the quote from the movie UHF which is very a so you definitely watch UHF to understand where my sense of humor comes from but yes I’ll good good so so we’re solving this problem and creating these designer experiences and so what I realized is that the impulse for a woman to have this one-dimensional relationship with a man’s cock so that she wants to possess it so as you’re a very own the way for me to logically very very simple-minded lycee what is the how do you prevent that is to say well you will learn to get to know my cock at exactly the same time as another person and you will only have a 50/50 relationship with whatever you do you say like you would with your best friend and I had her saying in people may not like to hear me say is cuz it sounds good feed it to your best friend first feed it to your best friend first and I didn’t even think about the secondary effect of that which for me that was just that was just like I’m going to know that you’re not going to lose your mind with jealousy when you can just say here actually you can I’ll let you go first so that would be the the the tantric taboo test of transgression against yourself like that Siri you’re going to lose your mind will feel into that and start simple we’re going to dance together and you’re going to watch just that and is that make your blood boil what happens after your blood simmers down do you start to like so now it’s like whatever that point is where that demon comes out of jealousy you were going to rub the shit out of your clit until it goes and tell you what you’ve you become a demon Whisperer with your clit and me and everybody just wants to create more and add more locks to the fire and you transmute that negative emotion into a positive motion and then in the probably will be called conversion the opposite we don’t have a word for it we do not have a word except for that one which no one knows it set designer neologism but we don’t have the band singing about how good it feels to watch their wife get fucked by Adam Ant And so yeah here we come back full circle so we will be so we’re going to we’re going to have these experiences we’re going to sing about it and and so this is the this is the what the the the climax of this conversation will be in my opinion is is when I talked about how the it’s not just a theoretical Gaiden guiding principle to say oh yeah we’ll will like yeah okay you flip a coin and I have sex first with the person who wins that round and then I stopped having sex with you and hopefully it didn’t lose my wind in 5 minutes cuz I was so fucking turn on by the sexy after they all I got another $5 and it’s over for me for like they’re already like forgot every system anyway cuz they’re tearing each other inside out and everything and I’m just watching and trying to like make it come to live again and finally it will eventually but you should know I’m getting That’s The Hampsterdance the Tantra hence the sexual Jedi Knight training so that you can breathe breathe through and in have the orgasms without losing the love don’t be a 5 lb jump so hit the two feminists so I think I’m going to say okay if she’s dying to give me a blowjob then like we time it for like okay like we’re going to play your favorite song and it’s going to be about the same equal thanks to to her favorite song and you going to eat each other’s favorite songs and I’m like hold each other’s heads and massage each other and just be like holding each other from behind and Miss Priss massaging each other that they take turns but there’s still a potential in that for for jealousy to arise in forever and for it to be I mean I just thought of a way to actually literally short-circuit everything in a really beautiful elegant circuit and so here is the design and I will try to verbally explain unless they can so I love the idea of two women’s hands clasping together around my cock and massaging it gently up and down as they face each other and our eye gazing intermittently so the visual so far is is that the dear beloved goddesses or I are facing each other so actually agency kneeling I’m I am laying on my back and they both are kneeling with their literally as clothes into my armpit is possible so that I can reach Below in between their legs and butt so I can have a hand on each clit and vulva fingers is a good middle finger on the clit and to end so if I’m cuffing the vulva and able to use my longest middle finger to be stroking the each clit simultaneously in patterns you know singer sew and I’m basically playing streams is like playing guitar and make a solo I’m playing shift I have this is because the end of vocalizations or what I’m tuning for it you know so so it isn’t this beautiful instrument of a playing these two young hearts that are kissing each other and like I gazy and exactly is so I’m making sure that they’re not feeling left out in that apartment while I’m being stimulated and everybody is being stimulated sexually and everyone is feeling a part of a closed circuit that is meeting everyone’s needs and in and there’s no favoritism there’s no hierarchy the really so thin and if anything I am as the man in my back and that is what time trick Kali worshipping actual full fully pornographic and I hesitate to use that word was fully glorious erotic depictions of the circuitry of how this stuff works so if it’s if you’re not approve any 3 I mean if you’re not so sexually stunted then you would just understand that these icons are just road maps to the spiritual terrain of understanding the energetics of Shiva Shakti god goddess energy so we’re designing with that and we’re creating a maximum hydraulic energy flows in in in a way that is very egalitarian actually inhibits the growth of the ego and that sense of so-and-so I’ve experienced this in not that exact formation but that’s why I aspire to be a porn director so that I can I can work with people who are very comfortable taking Direction and are not going to lose their minds and so I actually had this conversation today they’re what makes me not a cult leader and what prevents me from ever becoming a cult leader is this one fundamental thing right but I have to study cold it is to know how not to be a quote later cuz otherwise I would just be cranking out so much Kool-Aid day Kool-Aid would have to invent a time to punch flavor you know I got to be sponsored by Kool-Aid the Kool-Aid man oh yeah it would have it I make my own Kool-Aid Man Township anyway after dark okay I wanted how they’ve not sued like I have all of the libelous memes and they feel bad for the Kool-Aid guy I didn’t fucking poisonous people man I don’t mean to be making fun of them and I really got to get serious about not making a joke out of the people who died in the massacre Crazy Eights it’s it’s it’s public domain now to make a joke to either the expression people say don’t drink the Kool-Aid it’s because people at Jonestown were by a charismatic cult leader who was it was an extremely right with it skips a generation maybe but that’s how memes get formed yes so I mean that’s how they sort of deprecated the roots and you say things that we don’t know how does the reason we’re numb it so they don’t drink the Kool-Aid means don’t consent to a groupthink. Virus that makes mass suicide be acceptable and so they poisoned the Kool-Aid punch and that’s how everyone can scented make give it to their kids and everyone is like this is fine and some people try to protest and they were silenced and some people try to run away and it was a nightmare and it was absolutely what I would I must not allow myself to become as a priest that uses sexual mind manipulation and coercive tactics to trade love and affection attention and orgasm for 4 unquestioning devotion into the point of suicide so that that’s the extreme case that that we that is a litmus test for if you were going down that slippery slope but I actually tend to want to study the mental illness of sociopath sociopathy narcissism and I would like to consider myself a benign I’m the benign narcissist I know that that is a character flaw that I am not how we going to like defeat by doing the past limitations as many times that night and I’m going to roll with it and I’m going to say yeah I will be like Howard Stern and I will be I’m going to if I’m going to be this personality I’m going to make a bonsai tree out of my own ego if I can and have other people help in the process but but things going going back to the to the cult thing and what me what gives me the authority to design this orgasmic Orchestra what why and how do you not just become a colder than soy everyone you meet is basically in that on that game board now how am I going to manipulate you to be in this in this position that I would like you to be in to fulfill my fantasy of engineering all this town truck stuff and and if I’m if I’m this is well that’s spit out the Kool-Aid don’t swallow I think what we’ll get to that for sure that’s going to be a we’re going to get to that but can’t forget that we’ll save that for the for the most triumphant moment the climax is when we’re going to use that it’s so precious now after it’s been built up so ever since a joke that’s going about 2 it’s going to explain come on your face it’s going to come on yesterday and you’re going to beg for it and so hits is it is I’ve had people beg me to come in the third eye and it was hard to resist but this is going to be almost as good as that sharing you this one liner inside joke and just a minute but to wrap up this sort of dark out thing that we were doing with the coal thing is that it how do you know how do I hedge against being the creepiest man every like people think that Barney the purple dinosaur because he and forgive me if I’m butchering the facts here but as far as I know he’s doing what I considered to be taboos for me which is charging women money to have sexual penetrative intercourse with them above all without protection and making that into a to me that’s not a scalable business model and you can ask your doctor wife but Barney I mean I get it and I get that that’s the love thing being cultivated generated so I think I don’t know whether I consider that good pressure bad press for modern Neo Tantra or what not but I’d love to have them on the podcast I’m sure it’s going to happen and I can’t say that I was a fan of the art form of Barney the purple dinosaur but but but I would love to get to the full story and also talked about the ethics and this medical the medical duty of care that comes with sexual and pinch of intercourse with anybody so anyway that’s the sad but who were talking about okay what if you were intrigued and maybe turned on by me talking about these erotic circuit boards then you also have to be somewhat red-flagged and starting to cringe and go where how old is this get arranged in what are the incentives and how do you how do you manage the Eagles and how do you who’s in charge it’s like you can’t it’s a scary thing but you wouldn’t work but that’s why when I went when I say what I realized for me the aha moment in my sexual career was that if I want to have out-of-the-box sex I have to pay lots of money for it from professionals who have trained her nervous system to do theater performance of sexuality as escorts or as Dom’s or as porn performers because they’re good sports they’re not spoil Sports about any of the stuff for the most part if they’re treated well and respected and then contracts are here too and they know what they’re getting into and hopefully they’ve matured and hopefully their brain has developed to its full capacity IE the age that it takes to actually I don’t say that to you exactly so you better know there’s a dimension of Ethics when it comes to harvesting teenagers for your for whatever Annette and I have had some of the best sex in my life as a 30 year old being fucked up fucked senseless by teenager in a row in a monogamous relationship and I will I will tell you that it’s it some it was worth the daddy issues that I had to deal with it was worth reparenting her and it was worth every bit of emotional kind of awkwardness that there wasn’t some of the an Amex because she was such a good full spirited Prime late night it was funny cuz I was like I want to settle you down and basically like I could teach your making a kid with ADHD sit in class is like no she wants to fuck wildly she wants you to perform more than you possibly ever could even at 30 and and she and she is not she doesn’t need these esoteric practices too heavy multi-orgasmic she’s fucking coming or brains out like so hard and I and I couldn’t sit her down the aisle still enough to do any of the practices that I thought were going to be so enlightening and went in the great thing is is it a fuck it like it is certain point you just say no guru there’s a song about it’s like no guru no no scripture No play just in the Dow of the thing so anyway so that’s a side note to say there is a sacred place for adult for fully mature brain develop adults to be having sex with teenagers and and I know that it can be done because I’ve done it but it also takes you can’t just treat them like a commodity please you got to you got to think about pedagogy Nikki learned from the person that you’re teaching teaches you things to like a circle so then so we’re talking about these ethics and where I wanted to just close that point about how I do my best to not be a cult leader I thought I figured it out pretty simply and correct me if I’m wrong but basically it’s it’s I dare you to to indict me for the the criminal and civil liability of misconduct for for for structuring a certain way so this is how I this is this is very simple as this is like this I said that this is a different the difference from a cult leader is that I’m a porn director I pay women to be directed and then I pay whoever I want to I will I will I will choose performers who I resonate with for whatever we would like to do together to make beautiful art and and I will compensate them and pay them to take time out of their lives to be a part of my design and to be directed by me they’re not paying me for healing for enlightenment for direction for guidance and I’m directing them and Meghan gratifying myself and taking their money in convincing mind fucking them and taking more of their money and more than money until they don’t talk to their friends because of and that’s how Colts are basically extractive from their students the colors are extracting from their devotees the difference is how many colors do you know that actually give their devotees money I will pay you oh now I’m making corned a porn director and I am more karmically correct than the fucking Guru who is fucking having people kiss his feet and take your money so who would have thought that the corn directors were the most enlightening Yogi’s to ever attempt to be divine and I have my favorites and I’m a fan of some of them I want I want to see the names but right now but that cuz I wouldn’t want to leave any out you know what I mean bless you all for paying people to direct them into your Twisted fucking fantasies and giving them that dignity like hats of their not wondering about it cuz there’s that was having a conversation today it’s like a buyer’s remorse if I say to you I’m just saying if you remember when you had to if you were old enough to know that there was a day when when when your allowance equals one CD for $15 so humorous if you never had experience this is important I think this is important teaching is important teachable moment is that is that and I don’t want to be today. Take care no man’s planning anything in them to have fun here but this is like this is this is late so here’s the funny thing though you think about I remember what it was like when I had to convince myself that amusing that a CD that fucking sucked was actually good because I paid money for it and I would not let myself suffer the indignity of having made a mistake so I was in a state of denial and delusion so so so feeling this isn’t meditation okay everybody think of something that you paid money for that you discovered was in the zoo is suboptimal and you used mental gymnastics to convince yourself that you actually liked it even though you knew deeply that you didn’t like it but it was called buyer’s remorse it was called the sunk cost fallacy of sunk cost fallacy is that because you invested something into this you have to continue beyond the point of no return because you can’t live with yourself other ways so that is this Twisted perverse placebo effect that happens when it’s like I went to the sex guru to get healed and he said for 9999 I would get here and but I but I could also upsell to the bonus extra double healing deluxe super Cosmic Crystal trademark excetera right thing and try before you buy money back guarantee accessories that you’re all of his legal he’s in fine print all the stuff but there is but that’s where it is we’re expecting to have some result that you paid money for and you will question whether or not okay did I was a hole in my heel did I pay enough money to pay more and some money and it is it distorts things and you did it it did contaminated in a way for that so I’m skeptical that I can be done right in that sense and that’s just me so what I say let’s work in the garden together my time equals your time and now we’re planting trees equals an hour of Yoni massage your prostate massage and therefore it’s a flat equal everybody has the same it’s his first come first serve you know and orgasms for work shirts that was my hand jobs for Humanity and helping a tree with two or so you’ll see it yeah it’s a white paper was written so is he ever gets faster so so that’s how I’m not going to be a cult leader is that I’m not going to charge people money to be Pawns in my game of or are you going to be players in my Game of Thrones Township Township twister you will get paid handsomely to be in my theater my game of Township twister and you can quit you can get any time you know that’s that’s that’s the thing to you won’t be like oh if I walk away now you know that then where I’m not like what I paid for I’m I’m already invested so much forever so so many different dynamics of of incentivization happening in this thing is so anyway that that was I think it is important to lay that out and and this is probably the first time I’ve articulated it on the podcast but I just was having this conversation today with this answer the CD metaphor thing where it’s like you know it did that it’s it’s a problem that way so so that’s I will not be extracting money from people in that in that way I’d rather pay them to be in my in my Productions and feel better about it that way so getting back to the fun stuff in the production itself so imagining that that would be the way from now on where I’m like if you want to that’s basically what I just described about that circuit of three people as a minimum to starting point is like that is the that is first base now you know that’s first base because getting into the circuitry of actual intercourse that’s where it required that’s where we get into the medical the medical responsibilities aspects and we get into more of the karmic sharing we’re really swapping scum he’s on an astral level at that point more so than if it’s an outercourse thing and you can’t go back once you know I don’t want to sound like a prepaid only sound like a six- future but but they were right about this mean you’re not wrong about everything they’ve had no sex for anybody ever. Is not the solution to people having sexually transmitted demons running rampant all over the place and it’s about making them your friends and making them work for you not against you and making them expose themselves properly and in you know where it’s not a pure realm we are not going to be perfectly protected in fear we can strive for that and we can use Kundalini and Prana and mantras and all of our medicines in purgatives and things to create a cleaner vessel to make more harmonious more resonance more signal-to-noise ratio and that is what to me this is all about and why we are missing out so badly to not be like I see this if God is wanted you got it for not created to nipples I can’t suck both nipples at the same time I tried some women I can do it on I’ve done it and you can do it some women is possible but for the most part so what does that mean what are you do do you limit God or do you just find someone else to be on the left or right side of you you know what is the big deal so when I think about this math equation how many erotic how many out of the box meaning not really the selective like subjective nuanced little erogenous zones that people get overtime in our lives but the out-of-the-box everybody is wired this way count how many erogenous zones you have and how what is the minimum number of mouse penis and genitals or fingers are human appendages required to simultaneously stimulate all those places it’s more than one person I can tell you that much you know so I just want us to start there and be creative in 2N to learn how to understand that we’re missing out and we should be wanting to gamify maximizing human potential for orgasmic pleasure because that is exorcism orgasm equals exorcism in some cultures who are Les Les Mis Sara Lee poetic about the floury discourse of symbols about sex life like a Latin American Shaman is said about her sexuality in the end in her how she explained why monogamous marriage was not really a thing in a culture that permitted extramarital sex and it was that in her mind and I am not going to say her name to cool her but I will say to paraphrase the essence of this wisdom is that to her mind it was just like an orgasm is like taking out the trash and that is not that’s not to say that it is mundane or a chore it is that it is a responsibility of hygiene in your household of your body Temple you need to have orgasms they need to be fulfilling need to get the job done and that is the exorcism aspect of it so the howling screeching all of these things that are considered that witches were burned forming figli sounds that those are the sounds of actual Holiness the set of holy the sound of Holiness is a woman’s orgasm and so let’s make those come more abundantly and let’s utilize map map the erogenous zones out of the box and then map the additional ones that are my favorite song and when you talk to me like this and this certain place I’m in the back of my head there whatever and then everyone has their own map so we can learn each other’s maps and if you don’t know your own map then you can ask people to help you there’s people who would love to lick and kiss and touch you and head to toe to find and explore you and and from a breasted state of consciousness D nice and yes I like to will you bring out the best in me that’s all I think that’s all you guys add that I can’t top that is the way to end so then really that was we didn’t even know that we put the icing on the motherfuking cake by saying you bring out the Best in Me so there was a documentary about at the peak of my desire to become a a rock star in the the crust Punk metal genre grindcore all that fun stuff I was studying that I wanted to understand and clock the music industry so I was watching every documentary I could find understanding music marketing and all the stuff and then I found this great documentary about about Jimi Hendrix and and I believe it was his fiance at a time who later became his wife if I remember correctly and she was talking about the time where he was building momentum and getting lots of gigs but still underground and she said something that stuck with me forever and if this moment which is it basically the hidden tension was used turn Express yeah we we all knew he was going to get sign or we all knew that you was going to take off he was going to blow up and so she said it was just about if someone puts put the icing on the motherfuking cake you know and I know and I felt that we we’re ready for that and we did some we had some we had some ice and get put on a motherfuking cake we did you get you always want more but I look back and I don’t think we could handle more so we got what we got and now I’m on a different I have a different cake I have a different cake mix and I don’t know if it’s that time I don’t know if it’s time to put the icing on the cake or not yeah I don’t know I mean the cake it’s getting cold she heard it mean if you’d if anyone has icing out there can it please be stevia-sweetened go Steven Johnson I don’t know how to hack them will work on that today I know it’s actually what I heard is that it’s a weird additive that they used to cut it because it’s so super sweet that you would basically died of sweetness if you didn’t like the step on it with some other things so I think that’s why I love growing Stevia and having a leaf to munch on and put in the tea because then you know is nothing else being put into it and it’s just as powerful you don’t really need to if you had the the live leaves one leaf enough will be enough to knock your head off for an hour so yeah I know on that snow yeah we’re going to put this devious fresh leave puree motherfuking icing on the cake I will put the icing on my own motherfuking cake that reminds me in 1 minute I just when I thought we couldn’t go out with a bigger bang this is going to be at because there was a a ritual ceremonial I called we called apart emoni where was the Psychedelic birthday party and we smeared cake all over each other and had to basically devour for the birthday gal of her own cake and it was just nipples and asses and I wanted to be in after from there I was my breasts Elsa. Playing for sure that brother and brother best me for sure but that when I got to put the icing on cake my damn self so don’t let anyone fucking tell you that you’re not none of me if you feel like it I mean I think we’re done I just can’t I’m going to fucking drop my phone right now when I might drop my phone on the couch citizen of the count but oh shit it’s next level add icy Cipher geise that’s going to have some cake with that icing okay thank you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.drudgereport.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and if you want a podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been at Tantra Punk. Com Thomas Day

Sexorcism the Tantric Opera Episode 11 “Psychedelic Goddess Worship”


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The Path of Sacred Sexuality Leadership with Erikaa Briones TPP189

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Erikaa Briones PicIn this episode I’m joined by the exalted fellow sacred sexuality educator Erikaa Briones for an enlightening adventure of personal transformation and empowerment.  She shares deep personal accounts of overcoming trauma and transmuting pain into power.  Along the path of her hero’s journey she was blessed with great allies.  She received transmissions of spiritual wisdom and truths that helped to accelerate the rediscovering of her inner and ancient divine sexual priestess.  Her cinematic narrative is the stuff of best sellers.

She provides an overview of her qualifications, services, and offerings and provides a warm invitation to reach out to her for guidance and support no matter where a seeker is at in their journey. She’s developed a wide variety of gifts that serve the diverse needs and desires of her clients.

We discuss goddess archetypes, business development for sexual healers and educators, the intersection of traditional and modern methods of goddess worship and much more.

Please visit her online at:
ErikaBriones.com

Collective. Her mission is to spread stories of love and sexuality by collecting different views around the world starting with her Mexican heritage . She also aims to collaborate with other ethical and conscious brands like PMSbox. Erikaa’s passion is empowering heart-centered men looking to unlock sexual confidence at a level they never thought possible.

Erikaa has been featured on Kaleidoscope radio, and interviewed social media icons like Adina Rivers, Adam Roa, and Stef Stifanos. A few of her guest have over 200 million views on YouTube. Erika’s personal crucible story is of the “return of the joyful little girl” A typical story most women can relate too where they were victimized by incest. In Erikaa’s experience she was the joyful little girl til 1993 where the actual storm and metaphorical storm hit her life. That was the year she learned to become a woman. She was also put into a cult by a Freemason, and overcame severe trauma that affected her health and sexual confidence. In her late mid 20’s she was searching for an awakening. Little did she know Tantra, and BDSM lead her down the path of transformation. Now she motivates other to discover sexuality through a place of inspired-action and love. She is now living her dream life and healing others that they can also transform their crucible story into sexual liberation.

In the show we discuss:

  • occult sexual initiation and the conditioning she had to overcome
  • double life as a sex worker
  • dominatrix work in Beverly Hills
  • 1 in 3 live a sexual double life
  • the hero’s journey
  • how the character leaves the village, leaving the good girl for the family identity, then going on adventures
  • the discovery of bdsm, escort work, tantra initiation
  • going into the belly of the beast
  • fighting inner and outer battles
  • the experience of opening up and coming out the world about her path and mission
  • the path to becoming a sexuality coach
  • coaching men in sacred sexuality
  • how being yourself in the context of sexuality is pretty scary
  • you may not know who you are in the moment
  • your family might disown you
  • you may feel alone
  • starting out working in bad conditions in a dark hole in the wall
  • finding salvation at a local book store
  • finding friendship there
  • the Pretty Woman movie plot as a fantasy for many sex workers
  • the dream of being rescued by a white knight
  • owning slutness
  • finding a client who was a prominent actor
  • Cinderella meets the Prince, with a plot twist
  • her tantric initiation by a her client
  • discovering tantric prayer, sex magic, devotion to nature, mindfullness, meditation
  • feeling honored
  • her inspiration from a motivational seminar and her path to leadership
  • how we start out seeking a guru and eventually we become one
  • becoming her own guru
  • discovering yab yum and kundalini energy work
  • discovering breathwork and chanting
  • remember past lives, reawakening her inner ancient priestess
  • the power of the left eye
  • downloading info from your tantric lover to your hard drive, your soul drive
  • feeling that we’re all one, feeling union in the present moment
  • evolving past the archetype of the needy lover, seeking external validation through sex
  • growing into the mission to change the ancestor codes, change family patterns
  • the social purpose to end abuses, violence, etc.
  • the need to be congruent with what your speaking about
  • doing your own inner work
  • the role of journally
  • personal meditation practice
  • going to tantra festivals
  • not about being better, more about being different
  • becoming your own muse
  • doing your modality on yourself
  • overcoming the fear of speaking
  • fine tuning your messaging
  • coming from heart centered values
  • mature love, spirituality, how deep can we go down the rabbit hole
  • you must really do the inner work
  • recoding messages to your younger self and your future self
  • how to coach oneself
  • starting out on Facebook live, going from one viewer to 5, to a whole community
  • how can you help your clients more than just yourself
  • pop culture figures like Beyonce speak from the heart and turn people on
  • knowing your weaknesses and seeking help in those areas of your business
  • her 3 month sexual self mastery coaching container
  • positive feedback from her clients having lost weight, skin cleared, overcoming limitations
  • the king, warrior, and magician archetypes
  • discovering and developing your ideal future self
  • the importance of drawing upon ancient traditions of goddess worship to inform and empower modern goddess worship methods and practices
  • coming to know tantric goddesses such as Lakshmi, Saraswati, and Kali
  • embodying the essence and wisdom of goddesses at different points in your life journey
  • the more you awaken a woman’s imagination, the more her pussy will awaken
  • the experience of worshiping at a tantric temple in Venice
  • how men can worship archetypal goddesses with and through their beloveds
  • the role of prayer and self purification as prerequisites for worshiping ones beloveds
  • and more!

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin welcome to touch your Punk podcast episode number 189 I’m being joined by Erica Briones and she is a coach from the evolved masculine and founder of the sexy Soul Collective and she is got so much exciting stuff to tell us about today I’m really excited we met a while back now but we made it a really amazing event that was being facilitated and discussions about healing Sexual Healing sexual trauma and and different modalities that people are using two to really Empower themselves and each other and so that was sort of the context where I got to see and hear about some of her work and it’s very exciting the work she’s doing with men and helping to raise the Consciousness in that Arena and so we’re all about that here so I can’t wait to hear lots more about what you do Erica thank you for being on and please go take your time going in detail introducing yourself and telling us about to what makes all the beautiful and Magic happen thank you so much for inviting me I’m really excited I have been coaching sexual self-mastery practices and you’ve been part of the video series so it’s really amazing to connect the the body and video to your voice and really getting to know your philosophy and just really connect with what what lessons I can serve to your audience and I really believe that these lessons are to weaken our inner-spirit and really connect with our sexuality and embrace both the Shadow and the lights absolutely absolutely well thank you that is a blessing and honor to know I’m yeah definitely a giggly and curious I always feel that you know I was blushing I hear stuff like that cuz I you know sometimes put stuff out there that’s like a voice in the wilderness but then you know you hear back people that are having positive effects and whatnot so I appreciate that thank you and yeah I want to ask about your personal Journey where would you say this path began for you and your life this past weekend since I was a little girl so I always share the story and I feel like I’m at a point where I’m Shifting the intention of the story so I was initiated into sex through a Freemason who taught me how to be a woman and use different modalities from you know putting me in a white rest in a call call the Rainbow girls and he is some black magic sand pendulum some hypnosis and down the line I feared sucks I sawed sex is dangerous and deadly he told me if you tell anyone you will be a prostitute or you will be living in the dumpster so I started taking that on and kind of becoming the archetype that he created where I was jostle I was shutdown I was naive I did not speak my truth and I was not happy and that story followed me till even after college I got into the movie the secretary the secretary is the film about this woman who is a cutter and eventually she becomes a secretary and transmits her pain from cutting to being spanked and being a submissive in a BDSM contacts so that story got me into BDSM and I moved to Beverly Hills and I became of dominatrix except I was living a double life telling people I was a secretary and I believe that one in three people are living a double life and as the story continues you know my hero’s journey and I’d call this the hero’s journey because every hero’s journey according to Joseph Campbell’s work you know the character leaves the village right the character leaves the village and for me it was leaving my identity of being the good girl you know being everything I can for the family and then the next part of the movie is the part where the character you know goes on an adventure and for me that was discovering BDSM and getting into Tantra doing escort type work and coaching men and you know I’ve been looking and looking and looking for these guys or this a weakening and when they discovered going into the belly of the Beast so there’s another part 2 movie where according to the hero’s journey there is the rebirth part where the character finally go through the battle scene they’re doing everything to do the inner work because there’s two stories and every film there’s an inner story and there is an otter story the inner story of the interest the inner script is who am I am I good enough am I sexy enough I buy dressing sexy and really confronting our our ego so we’re really battling the in Rico and then there’s the outer seen that the outer movie which is like the actual physical components that relates to it for me that was starting to share on Facebook hey guys I’m coming out to the world and this is what I’ve done and sharing with my friends publicly and I’ve always been envious of gay men for you know opening up and I will say that it is a scary thing so that’s a minor movie was the belly of the Beast and eventually one side overcame the threshold then the next part is coaching and you know now it’s like hey I’m making this my lifestyle I’m traveling the world it just came back from was on this beautiful island for like a week and you know been featured on podcast now I’m on iHeartRadio and coaching like some amazing Man comic book writers lawyers doctors not doctors lawyers police officers you know screenwriters and being able to be me and being yourself and the context of sexuality is it spring spray because you get to leave the village and yeah there will be times when your family may disown you there may be times where you may not know who you are in that moment but if I can share this to that person who needs to hear it and they’re in their car crying like who am I like what am I supposed to do you’re not alone because I’m talking to the woman who was me back in 2013 1314 where I was at Barnes and Nobles and I just left the I was actually doing happy endings in La is like the dark like hole in the wall and it was like this office and just smell like cinnamon and my church was Barnes and Nobles actually in and go to Barnes and Nobles and I’m praying and like I need to talk to someone there was only one person and he ended up always yelling at me if I was like awesome you yelling at me this is so cool and he was the only person I talk to at the time but if this reaches that one person who needs to hear it may be there at Barnes and Nobles or maybe they’re sitting at home crying thinking like maybe I’m alone no you’re not alone so that’s a story for that person and that’s why I do it well that was an intense right and I also many of these these archetypes are coming to play for me and I’ve been hearing a lot of people talk about just the other the value of understanding these these storylines Anis archetypes for personal development and sounds like you have really gone to hell and back and have a lot of fun experience and the end I can hear it in your voice that you you come from a lesson power place to a much more Empower place and I’m curious if you could talk about was there a specific Catalyst for you that got you to rise into creating a brand and doing kind of getting into a leadership role and speaking out was there was there like a a if that was a scene in that in that that script you know if you will was there a certain kind of pivotal aha moment or wake up call or something where you had enough and you just shifted dramatically or was it more gradual I’m just curious if maybe still stuck you know it’s watching Pretty Woman and thinking maybe I’ll be saved by the white Knights and I’ll be doing these like I’ll be like this sexy escort sacred sexuality prostitute or you know like I’ve never said that before but by the time I was just I didn’t know who I was and I thought I was just you know us a slide and now I own my spot for me it was when I didn’t mean to like the wine and I’m still single I met a client who I was actually a very public figure actor Golden Globe winner and I can’t really say his name due to confidentiality reasons but it was that moment when Cinderella meets the Prince dancing and then she has to go but there’s a Twist to my stories like the clutch with the plot twist wasn’t hey he finds a shoe and then we you know when we get married and like everything is awesome like don’t we wish that we are always happy at the end no for me was like oh my God I had this amazing Tantra experience I fell in love with Tantra because of him we were in this amazing bubble of safety really talking about agreements boundaries desires I help my boundaries despite who his name was and I said this is who I am and you have to meet me here and he completely respected every boundary he made me feel intelligent he did not make me feel like a the sexual person he made me feel like I was honored by my mind set my my Heritage and my spirit and I was able to learn about his culture and I thought wow this is a very intellectual King archetype this is the type of archetype that girl’s dream of meeting right the new going to a red carpet or meeting someone who has a name but for me it was him marrying the woman that I am supposed to rise in to write this is the scene that every woman wants to get into that that makeover story that how I lost weight and now I’m here and now I’m you know traveling the world like we all want to live that life for me it was not as easy as I am at this amazing guy I this happened next which the next thing that happened was I went to a tailopez seminar and I’m laughing because like I don’t resonate with his work as much as I used to back then but that’s gross right like you grow from one thing and it pivots you to the next Mentor I didn’t give it to to the next mentor and we’re all looking at that that grew at the top of the mountain but eventually we become That Grew at the top of the mountain and eventually we start to continue our journey to other lessons so he basically does pivoted me to get my lesson of I can be my own brand I can also teach what my teachers teach to others so it was it was a it was kind of the Cinderella story needs Like A Knight’s Tale type story where you know they just like conquer the the dragon and they they make it and they win their victory for me that victory was firing a client who was actually actually my client she was a stripper she found me on Yelp and apparently I was just teaching her what I learn and she says oh my God you’re so amazing you’re changing my life meditating now I am leaving this work I am so much happier because of that and I thought that was the best the best gift I’ve ever received his hearing someone say you changed my life like no one can ever take that away as when someone says like you made my life better you make me have a reason to live and it’s all about validation is about you really want people to succeed as you really want people to feel like overcome their challenges and struggles question cuz what what a ride that was taped to hear about my imagination is is spinning and all this is I hope you are writing a manuscript right now if you haven’t already published your memory so you know however whenever you feel comfortable doing that it sounds very Redemptive and very a very amazing so that’s so if I understand correctly one of your as as a as an escort you were sort of them at a lower point you are not as thrilled about what you’re doing but you were able to through just perseverance get to that that sort of the point of of great Fortune where you were not just meeting the the shadow Prince Cena or the knight in shining armor but actually a man who is skilled in Tantra which is rare and then he was able to sort of do a tundra makeover on you while giving you full dignity and full empowerment to take ownership of the process and not being whatever made into a trophy arm candy kind of a whatever you know that that you because there are people who certainly would just be content just oh yeah look I made it to the dino to the big time but I’m still being demeaned or I’m still there still a sort of them a lack of growth happening but you have like sort of The Best of Both Worlds you got you did have that that man come in so could you if I if I’m if I’m understanding correctly could you talk a little bit more about the sort of without disclosing anything confidential course I’m super curious how Tantra is is sort of this functioning in in the minds of men in in in those Realms of society and in how they how they practice it and what they’re you know they’re their way of approaching the the Siddharth and Sciences if you could talk a little bit more about that like what was your first did you do you have your man have a Kundalini Awakening or what was the this week as I’m the gym and nut chapter back to that time where I can actually remember the yab-yum so before I got into the yab-yum I said hey this is my boundaries is my desires I mean it I had a desire to kiss them and they just want to be like straight up and we all and say like hey I also have feelings except there was an Integris that I said hey this is the ground rules except if you do have a request please let me know to see if I am open to doing that so that was something that taught me about humility so before we go into yab-yum we do this meditation that was actually inspired by Deepak Chopra we talked about water and the Alchemy of water in a meditation was incredibly catharsis and it was about really connecting to humanity like how can we connect with our sexuality to raise the vibration here in the planet for the environment for the animals and it sounds It is Well except I love what that can do for the environment you know being more aware of how you are mindful of plastic or you’re mindful of how you throw away your trash so we start to do this this very simple meditation that we bring her hands and center and we start to like slowly move that that energy and water is a sacral energy right like sex sexual energy is like that water energy that’s like moving up the spine of the heart do the throat and then up the crown and finally to the heavens so we start with that and then after that we just start doing we going to Yad diamandis we’re doing a lot of rest and breathing and chanting and somehow we just get into the Transcendence of like magic where I start to like remember password I have some Druid priestesses and it was really interesting because there was something in his energy that brought up a memory of a past life you know as if I was he was there to teach me about my Priestess years because the thing is with the with the left eye and this is something I’ve learned from another country guys the last died in Tantra brings in a lot of ancient wisdom and everyone has their own wisdom right everyone listens or their own contact their own you know their own subscriptions are on magazines are on newspapers like everyone has their own wisdom and die with them gets passed on to you energetically whether you know it or not on a soul level that person is transferring energetic memories into your hard drive into your soul Drive and so once you start to get that download then you start to understand like who you are like and we’re all one we’re all aligned and. Switch Hunter teaches is expansion to liberate expanding Consciousness by liberating but the past and future to be in Union to be in the present moment and when I was doing that that ceremony that’s when I started to really get Tantra and it was really connecting to his inner child to his past lives to his pain to his his dreams and I also was also feeling that that sen