Tag Archives: liberation

Kali Sahasranama in Sanskrit and English Read by Sufiana TPP257

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Kali Painting

In this episode I share the recording I commissioned from Sufiana of the 1008 names of Goddess Kali, including both the Sanskrit and English

Love Poetry as Practice Meditation for the Moment of Death TPP248

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sexual-healing-with-psychedelic-goddess-worship-pt2-pic

In this episode I share a poem I wrote which serves as preparatory meditation for the moment of death

Notion of preparing oneself to have an intentional thought form intentional desire at the moment that you transition to another form, at the point of death

if that is an acute moment, if it is a circumstance where you have the foresight to boot up a vision a meditation and run that, there’s supposed to be, some mystics say, that’s what’s going to determine where you go, if you come back, how you come back, all of that kind of stuff

how could it do any harm to have some practice in that arena, you could put yourself into extreme circumstances and actually simulate, jump into freezing lakes, give yourself a near death experience and practice your transitional meditation, I’m not promoting or endorsing

if you’re not going through the life review, maybe you’ll get an imagine in edgewise, or get to focus on or pause or something

I’d have to dig into the topic of actual near death experiences, versus perceived, the fear of your life being taken, versus seeing the light, going through the tunnel

I don’t think I’ve had a going through the tunnel experience myself, I’ve gone through physiological states of shock, lots going on there

the west is far behind on death studies, no reason to be morbid, just doing a lottery of what’s on my spreadsheet to share, daily content, daily podcasting, short sweet, little riffs I’ve captured in notepads over the years, worth storing for myself and now sharing

as an invitation to you the listener, if you could chose the final memory that you meditate on before you transition to a state where you want to get to access these memories anymore

if you were expecting to be passing over, passing through is there a time a place a moment that was so filled with grace, so filled with beauty that you’d wan to anchor in to that feeling, that would be the quality of spirit, for the life you had, what would that be, maybe write it down

I woke up in the middle of the night and wrote this as a love poem, shared it with the personal involved, charming endearing, depicts a moment you’d like to carry with you into eternity

could interpret in emo goth way

people spend a lot of time making horror movies in imagination about death

for me, ongoing until this moment is upstaged by a different moment, if I’m fearing death, if I’m being killed, if I’m dying I’ll want to remember this moment

Tiny Bamboo Hut Love

i remember the feeling of timeless cosmic perfection that was ambient as we embraced under the moon lit gaps in the roof of my tiny bamboo hut. turning my head to see her shadowy profile, i sipped the pristine dark beauty of her smile with my eyes, and with silent excitement i studied the statuesque shape of her ear and thought to myself she could have been the buddhas mother, the ancient serenity of pure natural love made me wish to stay in this state of sensual “beditation” forever. for the first and only time i could imagine what it would be like to be an immortalized ascended being, floating in the ether, gazing into the stars, singing sacred verses and chants learned ages ago from many past embodied lifetimes in primitive and advanced cultures from distant planets. together with my beloved consort, freed from the limits of the flesh, but granted the boon of everlasting access to the quantum impression left by one of our most blessed earthly moments. the mystics say you will be seduced by demons who control the gates of the bardo with fears, doubts, and distractions at the moment of death, but if you can hold in your heart and your mind’s eye, a vision of pure loving transcendence, then they by divine law the demons, your demons, will be forced to drop their swords, kneel and bow to you as you transcend the cycle of samsara and earn your place among the gods. don’t wait to your last day on earth to build your transcendent visionary meditation, hold the vision everyday they say. and i say, my ticket to fly high into the divine realms, is the memory of that moment, beholding her with all of my kind attention and adoration, under the moon lit gaps in the roof of my tiny bamboo hut, nestled into a garden, a garden nestled into a concrete jungle, a concrete jungle nestled into a coastline, a coastline nestled into a continent, a continent nestled into an ocean, an ocean nestled into a planet, a planet nestled into a solar system, a solar system nestled into a galaxy, a galaxy nestled into a yoniverse, a yoniverse nestled into our love, our love nestled into a magic shroom trip

Escaping the Matrix and Living the Dream of Wild Romance TPP244

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In this episode I share an important announcement that I’ve fallen in love with a land project and will be living the dream of romance with the wilderness

My Non-Verbatim Show Notes:

working on a land project

from now on daily reports, maybe stack them up if their short

my state of nature to be in the hills, the forest, the trees

most actualized life chapters, where I’ve been blessed to serve gaia and some sort of wealthier than me matriarch of a peace of property

there’s often been a romance novel cover mystique going on

i’ve been an ecological gigolo to some extent, luckily not the situation now

hasn’t always worked out the best

now clearing up karma, and maturing, and growing up stuff, more aware of red flags

in twilight of 30s feeling, this is the next best chapter

peaks and valleys of life

peaks when out there, feeling free, devotion to nature spirits, deep listening to the will of the ancestors of the land

i’m a paint brush for the land, soil repair, soil building, interdimensional source of healing, being a bandage on the land

in harmony with the human needs, the land needs, the soil needs,

social permaculture design, dabbling feng shui,

i really feel the energy flows when there is order brought to the disorder

the disorder of junk and clutter and generations agricultural paradigm shifting, so many different hazards, and decaying and rotting materials, really becomes a meditation to keep the surface of your skin intact, when you’re harvesting scavenged materials, when you’re gathering and macguevering, and a-teaming up a design

beautiful multidimensional, fully immersive art project, those are the peaks

the valleys are the times when i have to do the daily grind in the city, which i have been doing, almost full time, mostly urban permaculture installation work with various crews, in that sense morale is always dragging, its great to have solidarity, working for clients, seeing the transformation, flipping lawns to gardens

nudging the paradigm slowly, being the flagship project in suburban neighborhoods, it’s fulfilling and rewarding, more than most jobs

been blessed to work with super flexible and gracious teams,

understanding of LA traffic and respect for need for autonomy

crews have been so grateful for my help, and flexible with my schedule

installing drought tolerant native plants, sculpting land for rainwater catchment, all different techniques applied to make a site more sustainable, but at the end of the day, we’re still installing pvc, still using toxic glue that kills your brain, there’s this juxtaposition of the conventional paradigm, and the ancient futuristic permaculture paradigm, i strongly dislike to be such a purist radical, but i want to be doing this work and this play and this art in a more taoistic sense, not treading so hard on the earth, not just blazing in, what’s expected as contractors,

the hustle, the life of the contractor, cheep beer, nightly ejaculation, coffee every day, junk food

i want to be the barefoot gardener, who listens to the plant, doesn’t use any toxic material, re-use materials on site, an artisan approach

it’s a huge luxury because few people want to pay for workers to work slow

being a worker, whether your boss is an angel or demon, i’ve been very blessed

but it kills my soul not to be working for myself

at the end of every day you’re back to square one, making very little progress on your own property or your own garden

it’s draining and demoralizing

i’ve been very frugal, so that i can save and hodl crypto and to the hodl plus strategy from the bitcoin podcast, you’re not spending frivolously on anything, cutting expenses to the bone so you don’t have to sell off, do good by your future self, let your days be gifts to your future self, dollar cost averaging, stacking sats, always adding to your stash of whatever fraction of bitcoin you squirrel away for the future

assuming the overall uptrend is going to continue

on and off about 15 years I go from working for other people on their sites on their projects, just doing a daily grind to having way more spacious freedom to put all of my effort into a single site which feeds me, which shelters me if possible, which serves the intent and mission of the owner of the property, where you feel like a samurai gardener, I’m a landless peasant in the grand scheme of things, but when I can break free of daily grind of traffice, and commuting, but be steeped in an ecosystem where one day builds on the next

you develop this map of all the materials, where the plants are where the water flows, what the neighbors are like, what local sources of seeds and compost, and it becomes a grand theater

as adventurous as any video game ever was, the holistic fulfillment of it, moments where things really snap together is way beyond a video game, it’s not virtual reality its reality

you get to have heart opening, experience

every time you bump into a new plant or critter you hadn’t noticed and you get to study their beauty and no one tells you your slacking off cuz your vibing with a creature

tarot card reading, spoiled to take a step away from steady pay check, leap of faith, but knowing it’s the right thing for my soul to be focusing doing what I know best

this time under far better sexual political dynamics

its been a huge problem in the past

what do you call the drummer who breaks up with his girl friend, homeless

build karma, not destroy it

a lot to appreciate, significance of transition

it’s the bug out location, I’ve been living in bug out mode

prepper’s have a language of bug out bags, bugging in, bugging out

dug in for another round of zombie apocalypse training camp survival paradise, lots of fun

forest garden of eden music video as archival footage/portfolio/demo reel of my permaculture projects

shows the timeline of my evolution, urban, suburban, rural projects

feel like it’s the crown chakra of a career, feeling like I won the game, of course it’s just another level and the game continues, but you finish a level and you’re on to a new one, really in resonance with life energy

not as much of a horny whipper snapper

dakini said you go from testosterone arousal to oxytocin arousal cycle

I’d rather just do me tonight, I don’t feel pressure to go out and get laid somewhere, never successful at hooking up, never had a one-night stand

all that is to say, I’m still not interested in settling down with a woman, but settling down with the land, without feeling like a loser if not getting laid every night

many years of involuntary celibacy, I had no game
some blame I could point at those who traumatized me, but have to point at myself for not manning up sooner

dakini says you’re shifting your sex drive towards oxytocin

20 years of holding up a “Free Boners” sign, eventually had to take it down because it’s all gone, if you didn’t jump on it, it’s gone

a woman’s got to put in effort to turn me, because it’s not like it’s my first rodeo and I’m going to have a panic attack, because “it’s actually happening”

thinking about coming of age, a woman’s body is an enigma during puberty, a woman’s body is like a ufo, it’s that alien

then it’s a balance after you’ve been deflowered, do you get spoiled, do you take it for granted, do you lose that awe, and honor and respect?

Twins movie, cynical line about how virgins respect women, then lose it once they become players

hitting the nerve of the tragic sense, in the words of Garth Algar, I’m no longer a stranger to the ways of the woman or something to take effect, how long do you retain that sense of awe and wonder

I feel like it’s been painful, but a healthy balance to go through this life mostly celibate

I told myself the other day, no matter what women did, how long it lasted, how it ended, at least you know that you told the women you love that you love them, that’s all you can do

there’s always a list of people you’re chasing, and people who’re chasing you, people you’re running from and running to

Kenneth Ray Stubs on the podcast said to the effect of, when I was younger I was too horny to meditate, it took until I was older to be able to do the advanced spiritual practices

Growing up I didn’t catch the jokes about men’s waning virility, now they sting when I watch movies where those jokes were made

the first lost erection feeling like a transmission drops, WTF!

Was making love, pretty stoned, it could have been that, but at the age of 35, what’s wrong with me, I’m not feeling completely mind blown, lost the youthful sense of 100% immersion in electrifying stimulation, maybe we lost the spark, but it was unexpected because my lingam had never been uncooperative before, never been asexual but had to imagine that’s the feeling of dissociation from the actualized

then there’s the coolidge effect, men become sugar daddies to younger women, older women become cougars to younger men

I didn’t intend for this podcast to go this direction but it’s on point because, you can’t leave the city if you’re still chasing women, because you can’t see beyond the weekend

the need to get off, the compulsion to ejaculate, the compulsion to not be alone, to not be single, the horrific discontent to not be in a relationship

dating apps hamster wheel, slot machine crank of dating apps, mining old friends to see if their single yet, all consuming, ego self esteem, hormones

luckily I never was too spoiled, definitely still women who make the “shwing effect” happen like clock work, so it’s not game over, but it’s an interesting limbo state of I’m still extremely passionate I still feel a lot of eros, but it’s less hormonal and it’s more of an oxytocin mode, so the way women want to feel emotional attention that’s what turns me on, often that’s the gripe and why tantric men are in demand because the should be able to speak to the heart

in early days, of man I’ve got blueballs, or I’m going to prematurely ejaculate, a man is trying to calm himself down and meet the shakti, shakti can be raging like a stormy sea, but you gotta be the storm that creates the waves of shakti, bring the energy in

now I feel more like a woman
not interested in having drunk unsafe hook up sex, jealous that I missed out, but not interested any more

turned down a lot of sex in the last few years, we need to spend time designing a designer way to share energy and practice sex magic

not all women have the patience for developing a deep practice

now with a bit of financial security, ability to grow and compound financial permaculture and financial continence

deeper practice in resonance with the tao

in order to garden safely, or safer, not getting scratched, so many hazards, staff infection, getting sliced up, bundling raw garlic into gauze, blazing through, same energy approaching women

it’s a beautiful sweet spot to have some savings, make a property profitable and pay for itself, do sweat equity, multiple value and revenue streams, things start as a trickle, like a spring, a tiny drip, you can do a bit of earth works and store more water

financial healing, establishment of wealth and a slower more mature, more mid lifey kind of energy and approach

I think this is gonna be a good decade, a new way of inhabiting the body, more taoist and slower paced way of working on a land project

do the best permaculture, some people say don’t do anything on the land until a year of pure observation, just meditate and watch patterns

they say 99 hours of design and 1 hour work, verse 1 hour of design and 99 hours of work

the yield you get from more observation, you have a deeper more expansive diverse way to get the most elegant solution

kick down fertility system, one animal’s output because input for another

never before have I had such grace walking a piece of land where I can just move very slowly
in emergencies and disasters you do have to hustle, but if you don’t rush and you don’t run, and you’re not hustling daily, you really have a million times less chance of injury, and breaking things, tripping, hurting someone else, spilling something, over pouring something, every clumsy cartoon thing, it always comes from that financial knife at your back,just digging into you, I need to hustle to finish this job because it’s by the job and not hourly, or I need to be busy because everyone else is busy

its not healthy, it’s not sane, it’s super dangerous

chronic backpain, usually manageable, use some yogic practice

this will be the year of me developing an “on the mat” asana practice, up to now I’d rather being doing combative dancing

haven’t felt called after many exposures to different teachers of “yoga”, but I probably will be doing it more, probably realizing I have been missing out, time to get on the mat to get the benefits of that practice, looking forward to that, all comes back to feeling less rushed, less of a hustle

entrepreneur pushes boulder uphill, the wage earner is running on a hamster wheel

you push the boulder uphill moonlighting, and it slides back down while you’re on the day job hamster wheel, not many get the boulder cruising down the other side of the slope

most people lose their ass for 5 years before they turn a profit, you should be prepared

a lot of gratitude I have for this opportunity, hopefully not having to rush and hustle and speed around and be dangerous, I think I can swing it so there’s a nice balance of going back to work in the city and top off supplies and accounts until I get to a point where there’s a functioning business model producing revenue

glad to document via the podcast, not going to start out with video teaching, not trying to keep up with the Jones’ on social media

after a humble paleo meal of canned and jarred food at the low end of the health food market, no grain, no dairy, no added sugar, I can do a podcast update

hope not to offend vegans, vegetarians, it didn’t work for me, I still have hell to pay, I feel better, body works better, long standing conditions that are not pleasant that most people have, allergies, weak immune system I feel like I’ve strengthened, I feel better now than I did in my 20s

become a bit of a home brewer, its not a vice but it’s a moderate pleasure that I indulge in, holistic debauchery

luckly weened off cheap beer, never really like being drunk, really didn’t like being hung over

falling in love with home brew fermentation, participating with a biological process, gardening the process, it’s a beautiful thing, it’s a blessing, helps to get through some of the lonelier nights, and helps me be intoxicated with the love of the goddess

incel in the flesh, but blessed in the astral realms with dakinis, the romance of the goddess

nice to have some party favors and ritual elements that help to open the 3rd eye and the heart, losing the inhibitions towards the divine feminine sex goddesses, enjoying a more private more solo practice, not feeling the sharp pain of missing the party on friday night, missing the opportunity to socialize and make an appearance, collecting phone numbers

I don’t think there’s a way to avoid it, for me and most men, you’re gonna feel pressure, I dont’ know about next generation, porn and video games causing apathy towards sex, but anyway no way for me to talk about gardening with out talking about sex goddesses, and porno, etc.

intention to refine the masculine energy to put it to work on something constructive

I often think of the feeling, of being on my knees, putting care planting a nursery potted plant, I’m creating its home in the soil, doing this yoni puja this breast massage, that’s the Mr Miyagi, wax on wax off, that’s the permaculture tantra, what I would be teaching my teenage son if I had one. I have a duty of care for people coming of age who discover my work.

I gotta think responsibly about the Deenagers

Gardening as a pathway of restorative justice for sex offenders, a way to train sacred sexuality

Better to be a warrior in a garden, than a gardener in a war

a lot of sex education to be gleaned form a permaculture training experience

the 9th form of capital, sexual permaculture thesis, designing for the energy sector of sexuality in a way that is post-monogamy, post-theological control, post-shame, post-guilt, post-patriarchy, getting to more of a sex at dawn paradigm

always made a joke of about a nude permaculture design course

doesn’t have to be a silly joke, there’s nude yoga

there is a place where this hippy, free love, LSD 60s sexual revolution, now there’s more deeper connection to shamanism, tantra, and permaculture

more intelligence with ecology

people are opening up with relationships, more influenced by tantric practices, despite distractions of social media, video games, and porn, there’s quite a refinement of the seed forms of the 60s

on that trajectory of what was started with my parents, they weren’t the wildest party animals but they were on point with back-to-land projects/training centers

things are evolving

it makes me think about 2012, I was a 2012-er, hard not to be after all the Terrence McKenna, that was a huge pressurized urgent, move fast and break things, that can be very dangerous in a horticultural landscape, we got through it,

I tried to accomplish a lot, I developed the ability to lead by example, I don’t feel the need to tell other people how to live

I think I can be content with this oxytocin based sex drive, with really delicate and deliberate romantic cadence

integrating gardening, heart gardening

I’ve tried to involve lovers in the process, some have been on board, others not

Always tried to seduce women into the garden space, to have them fall in love with the plants and the soil and become as clinging and needed to the land as much as my heart or cock

May only the greenest and purest of hearts and souls and minds be a part of my dark green magic from here on out

I have the blessing to play my cards right and put in my best efforts

Try to live by the 4 agreements, hopefully the problems to have will get better and better and the solutions will as well

learning to study patterns, ala the Permaculture Designer’s Manual

spend a night on youtube watching permaculture videos

Bill Mollison and David Holmgren, developed the design science, it’s like a bundled package of ecology and anthrology, engineering, earth sciences, economics, an amazing array of interdisciplinary approach to sustainable human settlement design, zero waste, there’s a lot to unpack

the simple way I can put it, whereas Ted K. went into the words and became coercive, Bill M decided to apply the wisdom of the forest and fight back with positivism, designer ecologies that function as elegant and efficient as a forest

it’s movement, sometimes think it’s elitist, its not religious, it’s not ideological, it’s scientific

if you’re gonna be an architect you’re going to have to learn all kinds of different roles and laws of how things work

we’re building civilizations with toxic materials, slaves, requires wars, and all kind of hell, we could be building our settlements according to design principles of nature

making sure there’s zero waste

you could live in a designer forest where everything that you placed in that designer forest is useful or beneficial, food, fiber, fodder

hydrates, seeds, extends itself

use the template of the wild forest, in that template you plug in edibles, medicinals, benefit that plants, animals, the soil, agro forestry is another term

not square gardens of patches and rows, not fields, not orchards, not monocrop

that’s the least efficient, most lethal and toxic

Just like Bruce Lee, Jeet Kune Do, bringing stuff together

There’s no other game in town, it’s an open source technology, not controlled by a central entity, it’s a decentralized movement by design

saw a beautiful luscious wild RABBIT, seemed quite healthy, I got a sense from seeing it that it was very happy and healthy

cackling of COYOTES in all directions

SQUIRRELS scurrying about

a shiny LADY BUG, unmistakable red dot, always a reminder to my analogy about the goddess Kali as a beneficial predator that helps you control the garden pests, as above so below, as within so without

found a big sprawling cuban oregan plant, respect to the Sunset Nursery for supplying my first plant, my favorite local nursery

CUBAN OREGANO like a succulent, big juicy flaps, meaty, has texture

lone BLACK SOLDER FLY larvae, made a new compost bin for it, affinity as the smokey ash black reminds me of my encounters of the dark goddess

ROSEMARY BUSH

Bromance with lead designer/land keeper, holism, spirituality, martial arts, being fuck yeah stoked about everything you’re vibing on, whether biking or skating or punk shows or girls, the excitement and enthusiasm for working together in a really harmonious way, playing fort, having that be doing this really fun stuff and trying to be productive and profitable, and create value, community, and education

Don’t like the word retreat, would rather be making an advance, what if Burning Man and the Rainbow Gathering happened at Occupy Wall street?…

The word retreat is not my favorite word for spiritual gatherings or workshop gatherings, for lack of a better word, we’re both on that path of building a robust spiritual holistic, regenerative tool set, guinea pigging things on our selves, battle test our immune systems, our diets, not just lead by example but all take on clients

my dual life as a sort of renaissance sex worker of sorts, don’t know what to call myself now, sort of artisan, somewhere between a professional and hobbyist in that realm

this is a place where my dear brothers could circle up for some deep men’s work

don’t want to be a cult leader, taking extreme precaution from becoming a cult of personality

precluding that possibility is a part of design

excess manure is lethal poison if not designed to integrate in a dispersed manner to feed the soil

music icons vs cult leaders

ethics and responsibility of meme producers

its all about rotation, it’s all about decentralization, the term is an ensemble cast that’s the solution to patriarchy, to dictatorship, share the love share the power, share the influence, know when to delegate, know when to lift other people up above you, I’m gonna try my best, by all means accept feedback, look at shadow

I left the same work crew in 2014 to go to the northwest to live out the dream of romance with a piece of property

When I left Babylon then, my dear eco-bro said, “Do Good”, so I’m gonna try to do good again this time

Permaculture or tantra, like ida and pingala, they’re complimentary

Daily Podcasting As a Path of Liberation from the Rat Race TPP234

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Tree Kissing

In this episode I announce my intention to publish daily podcasts!

Here are my (non-verbatim) notes:

Daily podcast intended for years

all in divine timing, probably is

when I first had the idea to do almost daily podcast, look back at who I was, maturity level, wasn’t that long ago, but at this moment I feel more refined and more comfortable with what I intend to represent, what I have been digesting and composting and pruning in terms of my ego and aspirations

a few years from now I’ll look back and say I should have waited til I was more mature, but the genie is out of the bottle now

the survival podcast, started listening sub 100 episodes, was able to binge all the way to the beginning, my beloved at the time, we kind of eloped together, without getting married actually, but moving in together living together, a little over 10 years ago now

both had been punk but we not preppers, squatters, travelers, train hoppers to some extent, that was the vibe, mad max, radical self sufficient, traveling crusters, by whatever mode of travel had to become very cunning resourceful urban survivalists, survivalists in own right as traveling punks, in different manners throughout our youth

I remember it clearly now, giving the history of what led up to why the daily podcast is the right to do, a million reasons I could tell myself this is not the right thing to do, I’ll put my foot in my mouth, but I’m not gonna listen to the voice of fear

we lived together, tried to break out of the punk ghetto, she was more successful than me, the women I love and make love to are often more successful than me, it’s been the case, and it’s been humbly, so we were living together we were surviving together, in some ways thriving

but undertaking for her to uproot to live with me in so cal, that was really, one of those things you do in your 20s kinda thing, hopefully, not to say that that’s wrong, but…

her dad’s thesis on his daughter having “fuck you money” to be able to leave a toxic relationship, family wisdom, any circumstance where you need to “bug out”

she made much more money than that $500 fuck you budget money, but we did talk about that, the relationship was a project to practice loving arts, it was an open relationship, had some beautiful moments where that was expressed

it was a beautiful time, a blissfully ignorant and painfully ignorant time

she was slightly tortured by my obsession with the survival podcast which is just the most, bitter sweet thing sometimes, but mostly sweet but sometimes bitter sweet

she was into my enthusiasm for getting more deeply into our prepping strategies, that was the time of the financial collapse, I remember the moment I went on line to find a survival podcast, news stories about successful upper middle class families, murder suicide pacts of parents to killselves and children because of threat of losing their house and their comfortable life style, stories like this every, horrific, extreme madness and violence around losing this ill-gotten homes, I’m not a scholar on it, I just remember the feeling at the time, didnt have a clue about the financial bullshit going on, but on the news headlines like that, but one story that got me searching for survival, there was a family who had a mini van that they did their commuting in and someone had cut the fuel line, ciphoned the gas out of the tank, the next day the family turn on the car and it blew up and they all died, that struck fear into my heart and that was 4 years before 2012, I was into the time wave, terrence mckenna

feelings of helplessness and foolishness around survival strategies, this is how apocalyptic it was, I remember the gas prices, everyone remembers that, its fuckin mad max, that was what the whole premise was based on or, go-juice I think that’s what dennis hopper called it water world, I could be wrong, or incorrect, hahah

long story long, when I felt that way I searched for a podcast on survival, I found a few that seem to have faded out or weren’t that great, then I found the survival podcast, the best, daily episodes, his marketing strategy as a professional marketer was that in order to a part of people’s rhythm in life you wan tto be there on a daily basis, be there while they’re at the gym, commuting, doing the dishes, doing a hobby if you can entertain and educate, and be consistent, he’s one of the few people who made it a daily exercise, he suffered greatly, sleep was sacrificed to a degree, there was a lot of road rage involved, that was over 10 years ago, so I’ve been what they call a tsp-er, for all these years, I for damn sure someday better have something to show for it, with all due respect to myself, there have been times where I felt like was an exemplary student of the podcast, given the resources I had, playing the game of actually implementing the reasonable practical and no excuse, doing everything by the book according to a methodology that he synthesized from service in the military, corporate executive, entrepreneur, understanding procedures and protocols, how to be taught, how to teach, really effectively instill very practical skills and philosophies into people in a very efficient manner, very effective

anyone who listens to the podcast in their hearts wants to look in the mirror and say to yourself, want to know subconsciously that I’m not half assing the very critically important reasonable balanced, sane rational obligatory fundamental basic of really being an adult if you want a look at it, being a survivalist is being an adult, I could paraphrase, I don’t want to get into the beloved modern survival philosophies right now, I just want to pay that homage, his daily podcast has been a part of my daily life for over a decade, we want to say I’m not half assing the instructions i’ve been given, to me it’s the heart and soul of divine masculinity without the pretense of the new-ageyness

so he also did a side series all about how to launch your own business and build your own brand, getting established so that you can start to build your crypto currency portfolio, get out of debt, make wise purchasing decisions, get financially savvy, ultimately get access to land where you can really develop your survival retreat or your bug out location, all along having your bug out vehicle, your bug out bag, being prepared to bug in or shelter in place

I’m feeling back in to that time when I started listening every fuckin day, that as a daily spiritual practice, and without being woo-woo, he may not have said this world but ritual, ritual and routine is semantic, tony robbins talks about rituals

there’s a couple other daily podcasts I listen to, mostly its been his, almost every other podcast I listen to which is a lot has been weekly, some maybe twice a week, but most weekly, that’s a good rhythm, but there’s something magical that happens that he tapped into

having so many episodes so well documented with meticulous show notes to where everything is searchable

I don’t think you have too much, just continue to add layers of complexity and depth

gift of gab, and explore the possibility of having enough love from your devotees of listeners that they could help crowd source your liberation from working for the man, you quit your day job, making this your daily contribution to the world, knowing it’s changing lives, saving lives

if you have the ability to be a thought leader, that doesn’t capture it for me, I would say podcast shaman that’s what I feel like he and other folks have done, medicine people, bringing the medicine through this format, different types not claiming necessarily to be that, but effectively being that, the better way is to no call yourself a shaman but to be called a shaman

thinking back to playing it every day with my beloved, I would put a laptop in the car and play it from the laptop so we could both hear it on the way to where I dropped her off then split off

we both derived value, we made a video, a friend of ours going to college for photo journalism class, one of the assignments was to create a small photo journal book, she asked to document my current project, so have have a video and photo journal documentary of our emergency evacuation drill, depicts all of the prepping strategies we had cultivated

we wanted to do a bug out drill where we did every part of a multi page checklist, bug out to secret mountainous retreat location, wild edibles, fresh water, shelter, and sweet spot safe from crazies, cops, yuppies, and the gangsters, those are what you gotta watch out for

we had it figured out, where we were gonna go if shit hits the fan, what we were gonna take, how much water, checklists like unplugging everything from our warehouse artist loft

we wanted to our drill, wanted to test it, a lot of people just buy prepping gear, they don’t test it they don’t use it, they don’t force themselves to rely on it, for me and her for each other, our survival podcast early day’s graduation, it was a class project, completely ungraded, unacknowledged class project, I think that’s what a lot of people do when they fall in love with a podcast and receive guidance

we documented It, the story of the shit hitting our fan so to speak, in terms of the apocalypse and collapse of relationship in it’s localized form, we’re still lovers but in a different way, not sure if she kept listening to the podcast every day, but she appreciated it and she loved me and she loved the empowerment of what we were doing, but I stuck with it and I feel like being unsuccessful is not an option, being continously more successful and more intelligently successful, if I say to any other tsp-er that I’ve been listening for that many years, they’re gonna expect a lot from me, not just a cult or a club or an ego thing, it’s really like, you have no fuckin excuse to be ignorant of so many things that are critical to being an adult in growing the fuck up and being a grown ass man in this world.

And you’re not gonna get that from a weekend retreat of any kind, there’s more there, I should do the service, not the disservice to say is that tsp is a daily podcast that a for over a decade, it’s a living permaculture design in action

the point I’m trying to make is that, its beyond one male ego, it’s beyond himself, it is the skillful integration of the collective wisdom of an entire global nation, a global tribe, of people who are skilled in all the areas you’d want to be autonomous, self sufficient, self reliant, anti fragile

not trying to be an informercial for that podcast, just an opportunity to go down memory lane, to remind myself if I have something to say and feel its important, and not just be me but interview other people, and create a pantheon, of not just thought leaders but people who are really deep and really sincere, on point on a level where they’re ready to give back and ready to up level other people based on what they’ve accomplished, so compounding, so much value in the way that you can elegantly leverage for the benefit of everyone’s coming up in this world, take that sampling of people who are on point with what they’re doing and just keep that going, the magic of the daily ritual, the routine, the magic of a daily podcast that is quality, increasing because no body starts out sounding perfect, that can always evolve, what matters is the soul of the solo episode monologue, the soul of the interview, the soul of the round table, you can feel that

its almost a cliché that to be a podcaster doesn’t mean that you’re broke in your career, it just means it’s a labor of love

it’s not a side effect of tsp daily podcast that he was able to make his incoming be primarily based on the fruits of a daily podcast, very few people have achieved that

she shows how to do this and be successful financially, not just pat yourself on the back and not make a penny, you don’t have to reverse engineer it you can just engineer it because he wrote the fucking manual on it and gave it away for free

he laid out meticulous specifications for his success

so I’m going to, from now on, make some sacrifices and do my best to consistent at higher frequency of publishing content

I’m gonna have to be more diplomatic, I don’t want to be a people pleaser, I don’t everyone to be a bubble person, in terms of not having thick skin, I don’t want to be afraid to offend people, I don’t want to walk on egg shells, but there’s a level of diplomacy that I want to maintain

you mask your authenticity when you behave in a diplomatic manner when you behave towards a plurality of very extreme people in extreme circumstances, I will have to listen back, and edit what comes out of my mouth

its an undertaking, again 5 years from now I’ll probably be kicking myself

but hopefully that 5 years from now I’ll not be working or commuting for anybody else, I’ll be developing my own homestead as he has, I’m a pretty extreme frugal minimalist, and I’ve dialed myself in to a point where all of my endeavors financially can scale, based on an elegant design that has taken years to develop, starting to get traction and really compound, and I have implemented the modern survival philosophy and practicum at various scales and I just want to be a good student, that’s a fair balance aspiration and it goes back to me getting straight a’s in college, wasn’t always my academic attitude, but when I loved a teacher I wanted to show them my respect by implementing full assed what their hard earned wisdom bestowed upon me

and this isn’t my first podcast, at least two before

if you build it they will come, if you can garden that audience, build a brand, provide quality content, or fade out and quit and don’t succeed, right now I’m at a point where I owe it to myself after all these years, lets just say, like they do with the 12 step program, 1 day at a time, one chip at a time, build on your successes

when I was given my tantric devi sadana, daily mantra assignment from my modernish guru, you have to say it for a minimum of 40 days every day, dont expect results right away but do it and be disciplined with it, and study the results, so I think it’s worthwhile at this point to study the results of accelerating the release schedule of the podcast

and I have an important announcement that I’m keeping secret for the moment, it will be days or weeks but not months before I make the announcement that gives context for why the daily podcast will be happening

I’ll just withhold for now, I’m gonna have continence of the mouth, I’m going to practice word retention

its pretty much a 100% certainty, a very exciting announcement will be made very shortly, and there will be a million times more value and more enrichment and enchantment to this podcast happening on an almost daily basis maybe for a month, a year, may be indefinitely but the context is about to get so much better, not just the audio quality but that is a factor

I don’t want to give it away so I’m just gonna leave it at that

so I guess I will ask you to wish me love and ask you to step up and let me know if there are topics that you’d like to have covered, if they’re questions that you have, I’m going to be begging for folks to load me up with more material for segments, there are a number of segments that I have been collecting, I’ve got spreadsheets with a ridiculous amount of material that’s been boiling over to create daily segments, massive database, I’ll be kind of working through that, things like tantric world news, I’ve been collecting that stuff, and just because of my lack of prioritization of a daily podcast it becomes old news, piling up headlines, but I’ve got it all there, still think that’s important to be brought up to speed, that can be a segment, eventually people contributing to it, and also who knows I am of the generation of Wayne’s World and they had all kinds of segments that made it more charming and endearing, where you get more excited about the parts you love the most, it could be more commentary before and after an interview, if take that leap of faith to really religiously moon light this podcast on a daily basis to where it begins to eclipse the revenue coming in from other less desirable but still honorable sources of revenue, then, the craft as a daily grind that’s elegant, and very sustainable, its gonna get to really evolve and develop and deepen and I may be more ready for this 5 years from now, because I will have matured more and refined more, but I feel like this is the year to not hold back, and if you’re gonna get off the boat you better go all the way, kinda thing

give myself permission to not be so shy, another spirit I will invoke, jack burton of the pork chop express, kurt russell in big trouble in little china, which is one of the most influential sci fi fantasy east asian martial arts odysseys of spirituality, cosmology, and mythology, profound film disguised as a campy comedy, one of the many magical endearing things, the pork chop express, kurt russell with cb radio doing a proto podcast not knowing who he was talking to, probably had people chiming in, just driving, philosophizing, expounding, processing , of course you have that guy in my development, you have of even greater gravitas was pump up the volume and christian slater, I was profoundly moved by pump up the volume where he’s a punk rock pirate radio dj, where he was on every night, either for 5 minutes or 5 hours, now in 2020 you don’t need to be doing pirate radio, and you don’t have to be truck driver on your cb radio, you can be a globally distributed mp3 based, another beautiful thing about the open internet, sure I could be deplatformed, black holed, by the centralized platforms, but I can still spin up a server and crank out an rss feed so that anyone in a decentralized, anarchic, free and open source manner, using protocols free and open to all, a podcast is resilient, and can survive the iron grip of centralized platforms, deplatforming people for whatever reason, that’s one reason why I deleted apps, a number of other things

in the spirit of going dark or at least stepping away, not to insult or judge anybody, or to impugn I’ll be diplomatic, I don’t want to impugn any platform or service, that I’ve used, but there is a quintessential ancient tantric resonance with the idea that okay, here’s me, I’m in my fucking cave, singing my mantras, spouting my rhetoric, with my version of the scriptures, and my interpretation and life experience at a certain point, if I’m just in my cave holding my ceremonies and my satsangs and inviting my friends, its not exclusive, but it’s not imposing on other people so much, it’s not putting it people’s faces, there’s a grace in getting to a point where I’m content if people listen, I’m content if people don’t listen, I’m not discontent if people don’t listen, I’m in that state where I don’t feel its appropriate to spam people, or just over saturate people in the more benign sense or hype people, there’s certain grace, maybe people will say hey shut up you’re podcasting too much, but I’m not gonna be cluttering your social media feeds, if I’m in your feeds its because you shared my content or someone shared it with you but it’s not gonna be because I said hey look at me, give me free attention, I will just be here in my cyber himalayan tantric cave, and ocassionaly having fun with some consorts in that cave, and kissing and telling, and just doing my thing, I’m not gonna inappropriately be trying to bend the terms and conditions of platforms that don’t want adult content of any kind to be present, I’m gonna respect that, I’m going to excuse myself, here’s the explicit tag and take it or leave it, share it or don’t share it

getting back to the roots of internet marketing, and permaculture, here’s a nugget, perennial vegetables, perennial plant stock that produces yields year after year with one planting, and will outlive you in a lot of cases and will require multi generation stewardship, that’s perennial design, permanent culture, permanent agriculture, framework of perennial supporting the annuals, and everything in between, quite a bit of diversity in that range

for content do I want to be creating posts that don’t even get indexed by search engines, I’m I gonna have anxiety when my posts don’t keep up with the jones’ of other people’s posts? That process is seriously demoralizing and depleting and it’s not scaleable, Gary Collins another podcast guru of mine, who talks about basically digitally detoxed from that social media rat race and have it be the best decision ever made, to focus on what he’s doing, and share that, do minimal promotion as needed, not be a slave to it, paraphrasing, feeling into that wisdom, it’s not just luddism, it’s becoming a life and death things, for children it already is, how your brain is gonna be wired, compulsions, addictions to a device, I destroyed all of that, I’m not even addicted to my crypto portfolio app, I’m free from the addiction and a lot of people are not, just talking about me, my sense of things, my experience, I lived it, it tore me up, I made some impact, I had some numbers of 100s of 1000s of this and that, but I was sick of being a slave to the maintenance of it and I feel it it was not scaleable

so there you have it, I will not be imposing it, I’ll be doing it daily as a ritual and do my best to maintain high quality of audio, guests, segments, and see where that takes me, as long as possible

I will fell it, I won’t say I’ll feel bad, stressed, or beat myself up, but I’ll feel it if I miss a day, because what was happening on that day that was so important that I couldn’t take the time to do this, I mean I feel like I could be having the best fucking sex and best day of my life in the most beautiful place in the world or having the greatest trip or the greatest trippiest sex in the greatest place in the world and I should at least be able to record a podcast and release it the day after as long as I have a connection

wish me luck, and stay connected, course correct me if I get out of line, I’m very open to feedback, where it’s the first episode you’ve listened to or one of quite a number, I appreciate you and don’t be a stranger, don’t be a stranger

if you want to connect, you’re invited to connect, whether to be a guest, or submit content for review, or even record a segment, you could record a question and send it in, but why not record a segment, this is a big tent, I want to be between playboy magazine and howard stern, diversity of topics, if I could be the tantric feminist howard stern I think the world would be an even better place than it already is, a bit of george carlin thrown in there if I can dare to come to his knees with wit and humor and satire and radicalism, but if you have something that you have studied or researched or your own story and you don’t feel comfortable to be interviewed, if you don’t have your website, links, bio photo, whatever else it takes to feel qualified, you could be anonymous, you could be pseudononymous, you be satoshi nakamoto and just send me anything you want that contributes value and is pure hearted an in alignment, definitely want to just open it up and there will be plenty of space for you to occupy at whatever level that you desire, so by all means, step up, and let’s grow together, namaste

 

Lose Your False Mind, Find Your True Self & Learn to Feel Good Inside with Craig Lewis TPP214

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Craig Lewis pic

In this episode I’m joined again by long time friend and brother from the heart of the d-i-y punk scene Craig Lewis for a update on his adventures in travel, personal growth, recovery, mental health justice, spirituality, sexuality, and much more.

There are many profound spiritual truths and gems of sacred wisdom shared. I’m always deeply reaffirmed that our shared deep roots in the ethics and spirit of resistance from the punk rock movement have kept us motivated to fight the good fight and love the good love.  It’s invigorating to catch up with Craig and compare notes as we push ourselves ever forward towards our own evolving definitions of what it means to be spiritual warriors.

About Craig:

Craig Lewis is a rebel and he chooses to live his life built on a foundation of gratitude, peace, love, kindness, spirituality, accountability, honor, forgiveness and acceptance. He is currently living in a mountain in Mexico, seeking truth, healing and connection. Without question, Craig continues to rise ever higher on his mission to be the living proof to all, that surviving the impossible, is entirely possible.

Craig recently published his book ‘Better Days’ in Finnish, Dutch, Spanish, Tagalog and Thai, with several new translations on the way including Kiswahili and Italian.  Find out about his many books, posters and more here: Sanityisafulltimejob.org (under construction) and also via email.

Craig actively trains mental health workers, educators, people in recovery (and all interested people) throughout the world and is excited about benefiting your organizations and the lives of all via his experience, wisdom and fearlessness. 

Medium Blog: https://medium.com/@punx.in.recovery
Whatsapp: 528332944654
Punx.in.recovery@gmail.com

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello David Lebovitz welcome to Township on podcast episode number 214 will be getting some major updates from our international Man of Mystery been on the show a few times before Craig Lewis you said old friends are going back many years in the anarcho-punks seen in the more radical conscious seen and he is standing in the world of pure support and mental health and really growing and transcending beyond the the system’s way of administering public policy around mental health and really taking the power back and using a DIY Spirit to do so and last time or what we’ve been since we’ve talked last I know a lot of Adventures have unfolded and and a lot of Mystique and a lot of intrigue so with all that said Craig take it away. What’s been going on with new oh my god brother it’s been I think the last time we spoke was in February to do to do a proper the discussion like this was in February of last year so it’s like I don’t know if 15 months are 16 months ago if I’m not mistaken yeah so yeah man yeah it’s been one heck of a crazy wild ride and I now live in a mountain I am in the south of Mexico and I am in a place it’s a bit hard to get you unless you have any intention to go there you make a plan and I have an apartment I got a place to live that’s affordable and I have a terrorist live off the plants and the mountains all around and hunting birds and cats that visit and live with me I don’t think the language and I’m learning and I’m just for the first time for lots of reasons this finding some sort of I don’t know how to describe it some sort of acceptance of the rationality of everything and finally some sodas thanks and all of it to be able to be in the moment and take that and transform into whatever this I dream about and end desire in a nutshell that’s where I’m at this is awesome and you sound better than ever and I know you’ve been through so much some intense inner struggles and external struggles and now to be at that place of peace and sounds like relative kind of resolution to to be posted up somewhere and then I actually have this is something I’m really fascinated in which is the economics of being a traveler in the in the modern age in the sort of how you can are you figuring out ways to economize with your resources and find ways to make your money last longer by being posting up on your travels places where you can just kind of make it stretch and last longer when can you get into some of the economics of that of that way of life cuz it’s very fascinating to me I’d love to do more traveling myself oh yeah I will check this out, man it’s a freaking disaster III what economics are we speaking of like it’s funny I landed here with a backpack okay I I had a little bit of money to just place to get a house and I’ve been like it’s been a very challenging experience to find some sort of sense of any sort of like this world episodes like some sort of solid foundation on a music and this whole crazy like a year-and-a-half will plus I like all over the world husband Ace Financial how do I describe it I don’t have like a mighty long time ago this is been like I don’t want to I do want to break up Bon Jovi cuz this is been like what we would that when they would sing in 1986 this is what they called living on his neck no other way to describe it because that’s exactly what I know to be true but so this is all crazy like how do you live how do you survive how do they make this happen I don’t think I had a choice and I think the only way I was going to heal and I get to the next place in my life to get to the next place to get to the next place what’s the not know what the heck I was doing and just trust that I did letting you know you know me I give like the roundabout Circle answer that’s like the opposite of the answer you’re seeking or the or the S you would expect or anticipate the question but that’s what you get for me so that’s my answer brother what actually did I half expected something like that where it was more I can see the strategy and being uncertainty Jake and the spontaneity of going where the wind blows you know and in following just moment-to-moment that’s that’s the dream I mean that’s the most Freedom you could ever have is to not be bound to even your own plans of your own expectations of anything in and just really trust a if I’m blessed then I’ll get fed and in Shelter tonight and if I’m not then I’ll have to wonder why with the empty stomach on the cold side park somewhere a man and I don’t like that empty stomach and I also want to just briefly go back a second before I go forward the moment I said that the answer that you were expecting I knew that was the incorrect thing to say and I immediately followed by saying the opposite because I knew that you’re not expecting that it’s like this like comfortable thing that we do when we’re communicating we make use of something that we put into the conversation but actually that’s bullshit you are understanding me more than most people would so thank you yeah crazy life man this whole reality is just you can live and people will see your heart and don’t understand that the language or how you look or you come from or any of these things they don’t matter what matters is that you can communicate from what is truly what they knew in your heart that they will see that and they will accept that and that’ll bring you the protection on the help and the loves and that everything that you need for real I love a man yeah that does that leaves Faith conduct actually reminds me something funny why I say this with all due respect cuz this fellow is one of my dear friends and we’ve sent drifted apart but but we used to be tight Bros and it was funny in a way because he came from a way more stable family and had he works really hard to be an overachiever and I watched him work harder than anybody so I don’t say that he was like a born with a silver spoon in his mouth or whatever he wasn’t he was privileged but he also was pushed to to Really develop himself but she did all the extracurricular activities and did the honours and did all this crazy prep work and and and built himself up so that he could be ivy league material to go to college and then he’d end up finding a program at a state college or State University that that he was happy with and we know I’m happy with location happy with the programming cetera and I me I dropped out literally in sixth grade was in and out of rehab and got maybe another couple of former formal semesters of high school and then dropped out again after that and then I a couple years later I got a GED and then we both end up starting at the same State University together at the same the same time and I had that been the complete antithesis of the discipline and academic rigor that he put in and we both started the same place even though we had to come about it until we different ways but I also was getting straight A’s and was dedicated so I think this is just you know that all that is to say there’s people who are rich and unhappy and don’t know what to do themselves and they’re throwing all kinds of money away and all kinds of drugs and experiences and you’re going at this is international expiration with you’re surrendering to a to the Divine forces that are guiding your your your destiny and that and I’m always impressed I’m always jealous Pac-Man you ear like living it up with the fuck all you got to do and I’m going out there listening who wants to know how to how to do it on doing are you going to do like why am I crazy like I thought I thought I had and this is the opposite of what I however I should I should restate that live your dreams like to be free to live their dreams you have to have like the Living Like Blood Parts select thing beating out of you and you have to take it and learn how to take it standing up and then smile and how does a gold medal physical and emotional heart function but for some reason on Earth why don’t you just finish it down was it yesterday in the morning and you say because I want to know of a solution and all you got is like you and Siri are you going to still that hard up with something of beauty they’re going to just like let it become like like Houston broken and like crap the pieces like a kisses ceramic that shatters and so many ways that you can’t apply the consumer D art form to like naked better to make it more gorgeous from before I don’t want to let it get to that man in so I didn’t it shows different that’s all you can do right on Manuel what does I think that’s a good sort of just catching up with bed and instead of setting the tone butt so tell me what what have you what are some of the the you’ve been through some nightmare scenarios give us some adventurous kind of thrilling updates on the record and say cuz we are because I don’t say it just lost my mind National way for me or anyone in a kind of situations that I found myself in such as being normal and that’s remember I did it start out normal normal I need to really not know what with all those pills in the nozzle Octonauts and not normal shit was it normal that had that brain injury was it normal that everything went crazy wasn’t normal so here I am like at the base of my life or the beginning of my new life not normal and so like I’m just so freaking proud of myself then I’m alive in Christ figure it out somehow that it was okay to be fucked up in the eyes of others that it was okay to like cars had your relationships and your familial connections and your volume note to Garrison in old friends and colleagues at all if that is okay. Burnt to the ground that it doesn’t actually matter I took to stick around that that and I can’t believe you this is just a process like a moment to moment. This is hard to do the Okemos but I decided to be okay with it cuz I like the sound of that word okayness like okay I want to see I don’t want this palatable how to build in my life just want to go to handle something because well it’s not great but thanks for that you know that okayness and dust you choose to be so all this shit this happened man I can admit that I know that some of it looks real wild and it looks one way and it could be another we live in a reality where we look at the freaking news in the United States obviously something is wrong in society is this also confused and 504 West so you know what I got it I got to stay right there you you have just stumbled upon a masterful mine hack and I am seeing from the outside Dimension as you’re saying but basically what you just described is that we live and we live in this world where the ships hitting the fan and there’s a lack of people feeling a sense of okay now and I really feel like we need to become more comfortable with with all week and we need to deal with our shit so we can feel the Okemos if you catch my drift I catch your drift Iko something’s been plaguing me on the inside because through the process I got it I want to admit it putting you and everyone in that everyone if you are not including everyone that’s a funny thing you know why cuz I respect the heck out of you and I’ve been like it’s been such a long exhausting journey of knowing you that for me is included me being embarrassed and people mixed with you who I just noticed this man was like surviving so much better than me and I keep coming this beautiful human being that I only dreamed like 3 years ago or whatever we got to reconnecting and I am pathetic and somehow believe I have you feel like we’re on the same level of me I mean I have nothing but but like respect for you by Prince you’ve accomplished so much and you’ve accomplished things that I am still still dreaming about accomplishing so it’s it’s a mutual you know Mutual sensitive of respect and admiration man it’s always so it’s the way it should be mad it’s like to skateboard is trying to learn learn new tricks together you know thank you man and thank you and the reason why I came I was about to say what I’m about to say this because the process of the journey this is bent for me is not just included me it’s included lots of other people sung by choice and then probably just a son who just ended up in the crossfire of my life because of other reasons that they may may may not have been aware of or been aware of their participation and and and it’s not okay to not swear on the show oh my God they say it’s because because I hurt all the time give a presentation on anyways and so that’s kind of what kind of what works for me man and his wife said that like cuz I look up to you as somebody who has just like refining for himself and it’s showing the whole world like this is what it looks like to be in a process of yourself and be better with better and better and better I was like my God I could never be anywhere near the degree of what are some sleep when you go through the process of becoming you when you’re like burns down and you don’t know what to do in the fall Society is his his his either confused with you you’re a huge mistake the doctor that’s a Schism you just get into situations that could be desperate and you might not know that you’re desperately might not know you getting into you might not know it’s going to happen next cuz how could you and then you get into this situation where you get into things with people with money and then Todd relationship stuff cuz I was like a weird dude already have to learn how to be like in today and all this crazy shit that I don’t know about your kid and like you’re always conduct yourself in the way that you wish and I wish you felt embarrassed that like this like how did you get here like one of these crazy stories amazing stories that I want to share with you a few but it wouldn’t be fair to me to the universe who knows me and watches this happen at the end of my reality who was the recipient or have experienced just knowing somebody in whatever way when they go into the burning down with your going through the process of Awakening that’s an ugly and painful and frankly does a lot of people who got caught up in that and I would every day with the with trying to like become more pure knowing how screwed up things worth time and knowing that your casualties to getting to a better place and that’s just a preface if you will to talk and but all the good cuz frankly like recently somebody had posted something online in response to something I’d written and they said they dude guy Craig I was like yeah really you ask cuz this wasn’t for me I’m in the process of doing fasting from social media and the more I take a step back from it the less I want to return back into that that mine state and f deleted some accounts I’ve just taken some apps off my phone Note sometimes I bring them back or not but I know a lot of the frenzy that you would get sucked into with trolling and drama online at school it’s Way Beyond normal human capacity to have any level of that kind of interaction and so I think everybody got everybody’s got taken for a ride and I think there’s only a few people who who. So I just burnt out but but really Purge that that toxic soup of emotions that comes from being in that frenzy and actually has the wherewithal to create distance so I’m wondering I mean you wrote the book on on peer supported mental health and now it seems like you’re going to have to write a book all about how to either navigate or avoid or moderate social media right wow the funny thing is that a you’re right about the social-media thing dude I want to write letters I think I love the fact that we can communicate and all this shit then it is just destructive Beyond any any you or you do understand cuz we’re taking the brakes and destructive Beyond any capacity that I have to use to find a better word with my. If I may say so Larry man like I totally feel that makes think about it it’s not constructive most the time when you’re not dealing with people who have skin in the game to a point where they feel like they’re they have to be accountable to not overdo insults and overdue criticisms it’s like if you were a tribe living together and you knew everybody everybody knew each other since birth and everybody was mutually interdependent for survival then you would have restraint when it comes to the extent of abuse that you would tolerate that you were perpetuate but when you’re totally disconnected then you have no skin in the game for survival with you with a group of people it is literally the most unconstructive way to process emotions information actual important social issues and Community issues that come up so please man yeah go out let’s just open that can of worms and laments profusely about that I think people need to get some that shaking out of that Paradigm will be well I think it’s constructive thing to do with all this beat it because there’s so many to choose from in my in my soda. I was thinking about that you asked me to write a book about social media like crazy out-of-control the truth is always some truth behind what’s going on that’s funny or not funny or not is that this really happens I like a guy ask you know if I hear you perfect out of control destructive I wish you could see right now and if you like like lights flashing I’m actually having my hands in the air like I am the king of the awful idle control crazy person public meltdown we shouldn’t be who I am today if I celebrate that ships the best baby should be a book or went to learn how to not do what I did cuz maybe my way is not the right way for everyone but the reality also is the Crux of all that is that the freaking internet and that social media chaos that I was unprepared for is it crazy person adult trying to find his way that was destructive they probably not just for me probably thousands of people or more out there who taught Derek distances that collapsed because they didn’t know how to manage cuz how could you learn if you didn’t know how yeah that is so Insidious it just creeps up and with so many things now I mean that it’s it’s cliche to talk about how the dystopian sci-fi of the 1980s which was what really Prime me for being prepared to deal with this time and being a warrior in this time and it digital Warrior and I still despite that training of of being skeptical of corporate fascist media Empires and what not I I live drink of plenty of their Kool-Aid and now I’m really thinking about how much I’ve leaked about my interests my desires that people who have wanted to be involved with romantically and the processes of all that stuff is basically being molested by those social media Giants and and I’m glad that I did not take it to the extreme to let people do which is actually like a lot of negativity and a lot of drama and a lot of accusations and yeah I feel like there’s a state of grace that is refusing to to participate in that in that should have been punk rock an Arco pump DIY 101 I mean we were always rebelling against the mainstream and back then it was the mainstream media and it was the one directional media of of the power elite news organizations and there was ziens and I like the way that social networks online could be decentralised but there was it there was actually an addict his backbone to that where it was people who were peer-to-peer building forums and building networks in chat rooms that were they weren’t being puppeteered by these these forces that are really there to serve the state ultimately to Amy so ever you want to talk about just let us bring this back to it to who we really are a man as like as anarcho-punks who were trained to think critically about technology and about corporate Fascism and the mainstream and then watching and watching ourselves get sucked into it watching other people get seduced and sucked into it and like how do we resist how do we repeal and fucking in Break Free then yeah yeah I respect you all Whenever there were born okay and basically what this comes down to is the difference between a fanzine and a Zine so we grew up grew up in this like reality where your existence fish eat that text that need within your soul and your spirit your heart to have an understanding to connect with the world in a way that brought you the feeling of like you belong that you were part of something that mattered that was what we call fancy right if you want to like try to give a little bit of a I don’t have described it with the word is a metaphor I don’t know when there’s also looks like her internet and then I just went over that and then it’s not meant to or with your is a 2018 something like that it is the difference cuz in the context of social media excetera that. That’s a defined difference between when you are living in an era an era where you haven’t desperation that is coming from this blooming devastating oppression that I have a sense about cuz we know as opposed to living in an era in a society where you yourself are being basically programs and I’m not trying to talk about some sort of like cuz we don’t we can’t see it happening is happening in Plainview people to be trained to be a certain way so that’s why you were programmed to almost beat our own enemy and what we were going up with back in the day and I’m just going to help my do by David Guetta in the late 1980s I’m not going to beat around the bush here about that it was different we tried to communicate and understand and learn and educate and Shear in very different ways that did teach us a way to be in the world that I’m certain you will agree allowed us now we have success as I’d like free people quote the same doing and be because we’ve learned in in times in through methods that were popular then and almost unheard-of now up the punx to that brother yeah man it’s funny cuz this whole thing about fake news it’s like back in my day was all fake news what he’s talking about like you wouldn’t trust any new source anyway and there it is just as weird commingling now everybody being sucked into the Demi celebrity trip to of of the the platforms that make you yawn I’m I’m kind of in recovery from from drinking the Kool-Aid to man sex you want to keep up with it that we were ejected all that and anyway I don’t want to get hung up on that on that topic but I know that a lot of the suffering that you have disclosed to me privately comes from just being Dogpile on the internet you know yeah it’s because I started get rid of all those people where they got rid of me or with mutual or it wasn’t but either way it happens does it is disconnected people don’t make you feel good and just I just it’s Ash and it that have to happen if I feel personal about anything I ever did cuz I did was like face reality here but not always been an easy field person and that I had to use I have to push people away because of my own craziness and Highway but nonetheless coming to bite my tongue well yeah sounds like you have a healthy sense of taking responsibility for things as one thing I love talking about is if there’s no there’s no bifurcation really in your personality you know you are who you are and you don’t the candy coat that very often sounds like for people to get in love it or leave it for one moment I want to make a statement here at that you’ll agree it’s okay I’m completely I’m completely nuts and I’m definitely if you can put this in quotes but I mean I propose cuz it’s I think it’s a great courses true and in quotes right here I’m good crazy I think for the first time in my life like yeah so what I know this is a bit crazy like I can look so what about yesterday right now and tomorrow and the next day I could just make more good crazy happen I’m so sick and tired of that crazy and I could learn to hold burning down of everything so I could get rid of that bad crazy what do I do whatever I have to do including and a much to the weather for next to the disdain for the right word but it’s good enough I come from it with truth which makes it pretty hard core but also I’m doing it because I don’t want to have it be an issue anymore so that’s craziness go out of control on the internet and then have a V8 if you will occur Abernethy Bridge with some that is very necessary if you need to heal then so be it but I’m also purifying so deep deep traumatic abuse that I experienced and if I’m not going to have a really group of participants or people in my life is one of his old stuff it’s still going to come out and I sure as heck ain’t going to end my life because our or go crazy in a way that’s going to get me locked up in a bad way Lawrence OB I’m going to put my shit out there I’m going to speak the truth and I’m going to let let that be how people figure out what’s up what’s not what matters and what doesn’t button in no way shape or form do I do any of this because I want to it’s because healing comes from getting out of your system to things that aren’t making you feel toxic and that can include interpersonal stuff you can food a thousand different things and I and not going to be silent if being sounds will keep me sick so speaking truth whether its preferred welcomed or not it is actually putting an end to the hurt and that that does also result in and include who serving of ties with many sometimes it’s unfortunately intentional but who matters here for me more than me just like anyone anyone else is the matter for them most at first you need to matter to themselves first and then most importantly so that’s life and I’d rather just choose the most Ford and let the let the heck’s come because the more I get hit the more I’m sure I’ll Never Smile act like its neck and that right there I believe that everyone else had the world to learn how to do and it’s Graham said out of would never put this on lips Alston and Lasting here sorry I go on and on I’m not sorry actually grateful for that time the more people learn the Dakin’s like punched and kicked their way out of the traps that they feel themselves and that doesn’t mean that’s because if it’s a whole process of getting yourself to where you need to be I want everyone to know that everyone can do that it’s going to suck but if I can do this in a Hertz at continuing low I mean living evidence that you can continue to land on your feet than everyone else can too and I don’t care for what I have to say you can do to go live your life and do the best you can be in frankly that’s what I’m doing so fuck off but still please do your thing so you can have everything that I’m going to yeah that was a time and experience as each day goes forward to live in that happiness cuz I want it and you can have the same thing so like fuck I’ll see you later come on back whatever but piece that sounds good man well I know some people who were listening to same I feel kind of lost on what what it is what kind of dancing around here if you don’t know how I know you know you can obviously be as candid or as reserved as you’d like but I feel like it is I would say correct me if I’m wrong but in a broad sense you you stood up to seven justices in the world and that kind of cause the shitstorm of not okayness that week but you prevailed your okayness prevailed over there not okay Miss in the midst of a shitstorm online and not just on its just oh my God can you break that down for us to whatever extent you know isn’t they’re breaching confidentiality or probably not actually not in jeopardy. The funny thing check it out how about I have the moment there who doesn’t you think you have to do when you produce this thing later that they released you have to just two levels and now you know you might take a note oh my God yeah man and just try to keep it brief cuz I can’t be a maniac about this I got to try to come best light for my good for yours in the whole world that you’re you’re Mania Mania Maniac don’t know what was basically I got freaking screwed for doing my job and it’s okay I went to work I was working as a mental health worker I loved what I did and he might stem from the first report back to the Survivor background I was trained and frankly Grant I’m glad it all happened because I couldn’t I don’t have a day job working someplace and having a bad Vibe by the rules of the system which ultimately dictate working in another house feel like I was I was working at this mental health place that was running all about people live experience week we’re all certified peer specialist I love what I did and was your place different part of the state but I buy a new company little did I know that the guy I was working with what’s the sticker McDonald’s scary misogynist I wasn’t familiar with like that degree of creepiest and I was also supposed to be professional and I was getting paid and I had to work another place you working at the mental health worker you have to adhere to certain rules and guidelines of course cuz if you don’t I’ll call Nicole borders new teachers Nursery School teachers in a kindergarten doctors excetera East you have you aware of abuse of a person or in your care if you will or but you have suspicions of it which is also legitimate your required by law in laws law whatever you can take it or leave it what lies you believe in cuz look in the United States right now it’s crazy how ever this is something that we all hold true when you working in the in the human services are helping professions that said it was my requirements that I had no choice to make a report because there was a situation that just frankly was as it turned out was bad this is not an acceptable thing for some people that I expose this in a series of extremely disgusting things occurred and I ended up looking like the bad guy and they really made this The Narrative we will and papers well and ultimately they found out that the report I made was true they found out to the guy that I’ve reported was documented by independent clinicians Adams facility that didn’t work for a company contract in this pretty I’m kind of providers giving groups support groups and then they knew because my report was the same as theirs and they never put it to the facility that my report was already known so they knew they had a guy in there who was behaving a predatory waste for months for two months then he got caught again but but other people who documented the sexualised behaviour and once they had found out that my report was true of any of the guy who is the supervisor my supervisor without telling anybody. Even the assistant director of the HR Director secretly after I didn’t report and it put it back into the same place where I’ve reported what he was doing then he got caught again twice too much later I feel like I’m describing once they had knowledge that I was telling the truth well that wasn’t acceptable and that was the end was me as I knew it was the end of my career as I knew it it was the end of everything I knew and this is during the same time. That after 28 years of my life being intentionally harmed by psychiatric medication for the purpose of keeping me quite I was able to get off of all this I cash medications in fact with the insistence of a team that’s more than one psychiatrist insisting that it was a medication making me sick and they need to take all the diagnosis on my file and the whole nine yards man 20 years of my life on a bunch of bulshit give him his pills and you need sick many everyone throughout my life experience 28 years I mean tonight to you need when I met you in person at all the crazy thing happened at that show moving forward but this is all under the clown under the fog of psychiatric pills that were given to me to shut me out to keep me quiet about Happy with a child adapt a bunch of psychiatrist now when that time. Ike 2008 1314 look at my medical documents and look at me and look at the book I can read and look at how everything does not make sense and say you don’t have these conditions that you’ve been medicated for all your life that it was known you for 28 years as a person drugged you need to go out these pills cuz they are making you sick you’ll never have a chance to have a better life to continue to take the pill this is being sent to me of yet by psychiatrist is it we’re changing what your diagnosis on your medical record you do not have these conditions and I went and I saw my primary care physician in the file and right there just as they said debunks debunk ebox trauma course the charm is there cuz well that’s what happens if you 20 years to be confused this thing with the job is happening at the same time. That I’m getting off these pills and I’ve gone to heels with vinegar text mountain people that my community are angry at me also just left me for side of my job and then I go to Europe for the first time the person I was traveling with to give a presentation a t a take a conference I first time ever going to Europe dream come true after that conference I went into a sauna and Upsala I managed to me within 10 minutes my body had had basically detox rapidly and from it within the fat cells in my body after 20 years of taking psychiatric medication like tearing off the doctors help I did Poison myself in Riga Latvia and I was never the same since I started to slur my words and I was fried more more crazy stuff happen ultimately with all resulted from this is that I lost my home in January 2018 that’s my cat January 2018 I already lost most of my friends call these people thought I was crazy I got into Financial stuff also get social things like most my friendships are getting more and more the tax I lost a bunch of my personal stuff and most people like it truly care about and I still do you know what a live with no real idea what I’m going to do to try to listen to travel the world and find a way to create a new life find a way to connect with other people to find a way to Love by the way to connect by the way I create a new business and Nueva to survive using the foci are offered in different languages and also the English language like you crying and Kosovo you know it Poland and and giving presentations are in and talk circles in in in in you name it healing from trauma healing from abuse how to survive being possible he has been crazy sometimes I misunderstood all the time trying to learn how to be because I never learned as a child I never had a coming-of-age I was drugged for 14 on to all the cells have the same time I totally feel comfortable in my own country I don’t think I can work this is presents about me just like it’s like psychosis around me that like this guy why was he sick while he was mentally sick of these other word but in fact maybe I was drugged how can you explain to somebody week like that wasn’t you it wasn’t me but it looks like you sounds like you I can’t quite I said the pills pills were what were making me so fucked up or how am I supposed to know the difference your right respect all I can do is say you’re right you experience that crazy shit with me and that was real few doesn’t matter if it wasn’t me it was because of I was poisoned for my own good of course that’s what happened so I can only say goodbye and I can’t change that to this is the reality the past four years is always have these things happening in the world disconnected from people from people that have no more going to call ain’t going to call anybody you know is going to pick up that’s how do you find whis when you don’t feel comfortable in your own land cuz you your language is English it’s a dominant language in the world and and you’re a guy easy to just try to reconnect after all these years of chaos you supposed to be a certain weight verifications of you you can escape to past so what are you do what did I do what the heck out of there as I said travel the world very difficult very painful very lonely very hard very beautiful and in that 15 months how do they communicate with people with languages that we do not share what do you do how do you find your weight you can’t just go crazy like I did in a couple years was the way somewhere West getting killed in the airport in Paris I lost my shit you can’t do that you have to learn how to connect on a spiritual level that you can’t communicate people will know your energy just like a cat or a dog you can’t let them experience you went away that you’re going to be repelled by how you learn how to do that how do you learn that’s what you learned and that’s what the story that’s what the backstory is the backstory is a story it’s like five or six what’s it like in your own way with wreck somebody happening at the same time and just by the grace of whatever it is you believe I resulted it was Ulta didn’t me finally getting to the point of saying screw it almost going to go live why can Liz get a Visa they did and take a little money had and get a a place that was furnished and so I did and how I live in a community and I need some friends and that’s the story that’s that’s what you’re asking me it’s like a 15 minute monologue but that’s what the story is it should make enough sense of all this meat is missing tons of pieces that music house ugliness lost torture resulted and be speaking about all we have prior to keep me answering the question if it was up to them that being a store that I can talk about with a smile and with some sort of like humor because I know what resulted in like where I’m at now thank you so what is the advice you have for people who are whistleblowing in organizations where it sounds like sounds like you were is a recipe for disaster in that because anyone could say that your credibility under those circumstances everybody in a situation is the pot calling the kettle black and in a sense so for people who are direct me totally just a source of your strength to overcome oh my God it was it wrecked me I can’t believe them alive direct me so much that I’m laughing about it because it’s like well at the very least it’s always warm here like every piece of shit wasn’t nice to me back in Massachusetts I guess what in the winter you going to pay for that heat and for those of you out there who struggle so I don’t have to deal with that anymore thank you thank you I could have stand I’m coming around to this myself which is that I feel like there is there was a time where I felt like I had to go out there and I had to add jatate and and have a high risk tolerance and a high risk appetite for being involved in the potential for liability of the potential for things sort of backfiring it in in in in doing my work and now I feel like I survived some pretty epic chapters of risk and now I’m finding myself more risk-averse and less risk tolerant and wanting and actually being able to say no but I’d rather not put myself at risk by not that I’m totally disengaging from everything but I will say that that the the duty that I felt I had to be out there in the mix of a lot of chaos I don’t feel that that I feel like I I slay that Dragon I slay those demons and and I can live with myself comfortably not feeling like a coward and not feeling like I was avoiding those those efforts and I wondering if you feel now and it is something that make people can resonate with that they can learn powers that you know you don’t have to fight every battle you can choose your battles as long as you fight some battles and even if you don’t win you survive but you know you did what was right you don’t have to keep doing that forever and you can get yourself the fuck out and go and retire from The Madness of fighting a lot of struggles where it’s a losing battle sometimes and you can just enjoy the face so you know live to fight another day you know you know they say Don’t run you can run away and live to fight another day or you could stay in a place that you’re not going to get out of one piece nnn regret it so I don’t know just want to say that I congratulate you for for doing the right thing and then getting a fuck out of there before you did actually get completely destroyed you know yet well you know what me and your trusty Craig motherfuking Lewis you know that’s what happens when your trusty Craig fucking crazy person Louis I just don’t need that to be sampled probably just got myself some was going to have fun with me with that but that’s okay it doesn’t have a certain that what was the question Bedford just let me be me to take two more of a general commentary and sense of wanting to see the bigger picture which is that sometimes I guess I was seeing if I feel the same way about the politics of insurrectionary Street protests and you put yourself out there and you put yourself in a meat grinder lot of people do and they end up in really serious trouble that they didn’t bargain for that it’s not really sustainable certain forms of resistance are not really sustainable there’s new waves of of people who are going to come up into that but you have to know when to win to what’s the country song what’s the country song when you know how to hold them oh my God yeah it is you don’t talk about anything yeah yeah quit while you’re ahead and I was going to quit while I was ahead I should have just never done shit about the so I made a decision take out the stand on my two feet and stand up when I knew was true and for what I knew was the correct thing to do and to what someone ever did for me when I was 15 years old and then that horrible facility being feminized and section leak destroyed and and and humiliated and have a whole life taken when I was 15 in those two so they locked me up in just got too many times I had no way weather right I didn’t even know if I believe in the Universal God whatever they want to call it if I want to call it whenever I look to you for my my my my my my peace I didn’t know dude in 2015 that’s what I was doing that was a sending that to a better place cuz of what all I was experienced by me throughout my life but there was no way there was no way any any shape or form that I was going to permit and using my legally-protected role as a mandated reporter there was no way I was going to permit what I was witnessing happening in front of me to people who were the victim of assault and simple ways I was when I was a kid and when I was a kid I asked for help and no one helped me I would love to rot and take it there was no way and 2015 that I was going to break from my responsibilities and I just didn’t legal responsibility responsibility responsibility but the opportunity to make sure using my power that I had been given by becoming certified to work in the role of I had been working in there was no way I was going to go to deviate from that there was no way I was going helping that individual with a moment of peace when I was not afforded the very same thing that I deserve as much as everyone who’s ever been a situation like that woman was deserved and I stood in my two feet and I would do the same thing right now again because it was the right thing to do and I will always go to look myself in the mirror and a camera and whatever I never that was right now looking forward to move on and it doesn’t matter that like I got crushed in the process and it come on how many people are going to listen to this I thought his back but I want to hear about like awesome stuff like so what like what kind of fool of myself are so funny and it’s true what kind of fool thinks it’s a good idea business right now you all know them for one important reason it is important as a valid and it’s to be honored and respected but it does not mean you should do business-to-business okay and you don’t do people like yourself what’s a crazy people that word with deep affection Love because as professionally as I previously identified I want to be good crazy so maybe good crazy so that’s where I go to stay However maybe not everyone’s good crazy maybe I’ve not always been good crazy not truth what a terrible idea to work intimately with people cool ultimately it’s true cuz he went to humans ultimately it will save their own skin for doing the right thing because not everybody is not their fault it’s the reality is reality. Everybody grows up with like a street addict or knowing how it is to be closer to the bottom and I fortunately or unfortunately I am how you stated feeling perceive things many of the people that must have people that I was involved with what are of a higher class if you will or better way of living or a different kind of environment that allow after Sosa to delete it I never had it so I don’t blame them for Being Human but certainly did lack of understanding of what it meant to do what was right was more within me as a person who was straight talk and someone who grew up in just I guess nicer and perhaps more supportive of surroundings which I did not Amen brother that’s the truth right on that what I think yeah we should I think we should call it a show at I was at Adventure I was expected nothing less than and definitely you delivered on bringing bringing the the the healthy crazy that healthy and powered acknowledgement of what it takes in like hey was the word of of CO2 I remember that song Still if we’re never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy right so I believe that I believe it I feel it I’m the same way I’m definitely letting go on some innovations that have helped me back and I’m feeling more free and more wild and less less compromising to people who may not agree or understand what I’m trying to do and there’s a way to there’s a I think there’s a way you’re proving it and I’m I’m catching up to you honestly about getting to a point where you just you give no fuks about being a walk in your truth in speaking your mind and people don’t like it they can they can shove it up their okayness yeah and I’m okay with that closing statement a lubricated sex toy and gently massage it as they relax the sphincter into their anus until they filled okay no I don’t want to use shoving it up your ass says this is your word is because on the township on podcast we are all about putting the anus back into Okemos and putting the penis back into happiness all right have you seen the movie the interview Seth Rogen when they go to North Korea and they interview the North Korean dictator they say that they hate us cuz they ain’t us all the ants talk is that this is going to be listened to and I can ask around closing statement obviously my lots of curious people about Craig Lewis and better days and all this crazy nonsense stop podcasting a plus with all the craziness it’s hard to get work when you’re up when you’re allowed muffins supposed love for myself it’s awesome but all the people are the characters in the world I want to see I love you and I’m grateful for every person who has ever existed in my life including every person who has not been nice to me with every person who is abused me iPhone I am quitting the worst ones and I don’t want you all my life but I do forgive you because that’s the best for my. You’re my love for myself and also I just also think it’s very relevant necessary because I know this would be listen to cuz people whose voice and I’m staying right now will you love me or hate me or whatever it is it’s okay it’s okay because things have been crazy and I wouldn’t want to have to hang out with me sometimes the way things were but I can’t imagine being someone else it was horrible I was going through a living you know what I don’t want to say that word because I choose to like try to be better doesn’t mean that always succeed as you all know that you can I I’m grateful to be here today laughing about it crazy just going on I think some things that come out of my mouth that bow that’s pretty intense stuff sometimes I like using my brain is sometimes you say things that are little bit much so what I’m grateful to be here now I’m grateful to everyone if I’ve hurt your feelings or offended somebody will the problem with a reason but I also feel like that’s not okay so I do apologize for being hurtful because when you’re fighting a battle and you feel like you’re you’re experiencing or you’re proceeding being under some sort of Oppression you do things are sometimes don’t always make sense and you fight me ways that not everyone’s going through Fluevog so I will recognize this truth that goes for everybody including how I’ve communicated with you in the past and I have not been easy so this trip this accountability this acceptance of yes it’s not been pretty getting to this place and I am I in a gray spot now I’m working on it and it’s because I chose to be what I wanted to be and I tried to walk my talk and my Straight Talk sucks sucks sucks so I’ll leave you with this liked my dear friend and be host to talk about just suggested you can just get that lubrication and like jet me like take care of with best the love that you deserve because you deserve to feel good inside and however you find a way to feel good inside I know the tundra parked behind and I think it’s fair to say that I’m behind that to oh my God that sounds crazy that wasn’t even planned that I’m sorry but yeah oh my God I think it’s happened in my brain and that was thank you Universe this is crazy I don’t know what to say if it doesn’t get any simpler than put the anus in Okemos and put the penis and happiness and we will all be living in it beer peace more peaceful or more fulfilling more abundant world man so I think that’s that’s that’s what I asked what it comes down to and and I store is the next time I bought the world travels but that’s what I thought that’s what the best and I want a wonderful rest of your evening and we’ll be in touch again soon I love you so much and I love you so much for listening to the touch of Time Podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition assassini and improving the podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple after bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email said I turned your punk. Com Thomas gay

Guerilla Yoga with Survival Wombyn Jazmin TPP167

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Jazmin Pic

In this podcast I’m joined by Jazmin, a yoga instructor, community organizer, activist, bookstore owner. She’s a social media friend who has become a heroine to me as she shares some of my deepest and dearest roots in the ecological anarchism movement. Her spiritual activism and activist spirituality are sincerely humbling and it was very healing and invigorating to explore her insights and feel proud to earn her respect.

We discuss:

  • guerilla yoga
  • decentralized yoga
  • racial politics in radical movements
  • political prisoners
  • state repression
  • modeling
  • camming
  • sex work
  • cryptocurrency
  • college life
  • community space
  • cooperatives
  • patriarchy
  • gender politics
  • the survival wombyn eco-educational modeling project
  • and more!

Here is the link to her Survival Wombyn profile page:
https://survivalwombyn.com/jazmin/

About Jazmin:

I embody a yoga practice that is at the intersection of holistic wellness and social justice activism. My yoga practice, is diverse and ever-evolving. In the past five years, yoga played a significant role in my personal development and transformation. I am living proof that disciplined empathy for yourself,  will change how you show up and interact in the world.

I am passionate about supporting all communities, this includes those communities who often have limited access to personal care and holistic resources.  It is my intention to build bridges, weaving among diverse groups, sprinkling yoga as I go. My intention is to empower people to cultivate a more holistic relationship to themselves and the Earth. Meditation and yoga are the practices I utilize to embody actions for radical personal and collective transformation.
My social media is:

My paypal email is:
jazminfrancescayoga [at] gmail [dot].com

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear beloved’s welcome to Township on podcast episode number 167 I am extremely excited in just grinning from ear-to-ear because I have Jasmine as a guest on the show and this is the the very exciting Adventures background that I have to to lead up to our conversation she has been a friend of mine on social media now for probably a good many moons and also a listener of the podcast and it’s always a treat for me to just find out that random different people from all over the world that are tuning in and getting something positive and empowering from this and to have somebody step up and just kind of time in really is affirming for me so it’s like wipe she goes by the name black girl affirming on Instagram and I feel like she’s helped this white boy give a little back formation and if I says so it’s been fun yeah we’ve we just had a bancer online and there was a time of you know I would say that that the cheat sheet she gets my heart racing and as I see your posts and and she’s easy on the eyes and all that good stuff and you know but I wouldn’t have I wouldn’t have crossed the line of propositioning her to be hired as a model I don’t want to end up using that as like a unprofessional Shady pick-up line you know but but I was compelled to be like damn I got to know if you’d be willing to take money for some of these pictures if you’re shipping because you’ve got you know the vibe that I’m going for them looking for as far as women who are empowered and have a story to tell and are doing cool things in the world that are inspiring and and also being willing to play with erotic energy and actually engage in and share a bit of them to set themselves in an erotic matter with the world and so whenever I see that whenever I see those two things together it it it makes me want to reach out in that way but so that the the real what makes me so ridiculously happy right now is to talk about this is is to describe that moment where I saw the one little Instagram clip little video clip that that push me over the edge and it was this a scene with a beautiful like small kind of Creek little waterfall Rock somewhere in a lovely Forest environment and there she was burying her fairness to the world from a nice full backside kind of perspective in and she’s first facing forward or you’re facing away from the camera and then there’s is very slow very meticulous and methodical turning over head towards the camera so naked and had her turning over her shoulder and then there is the absolutely most mischievous yet playful and somehow Innocent but it totally inviting look like I’ve never felt so invited to anything and end but it’s left to your imagination so it could be that you are you’re invited to also take her clothes off and get in the water or you’re invited to just sort of let your imagination roll and and I I think I was in that moment just feeling like this is the quintessential expression that if only women in the world were permitted and facilitated and in in secured and inhaled safe to be able to be able to express it as they want to be then then there will be a lot more of these beautiful moments for a cell to for taken and nothing in for all genders and for all Expressions you know to feel like hey this is me you know here I am love it or leave it whatever and son is just so many it’s worth a thousand words and I’m and I’m going to use a screenshot as the as the the assertive profile photo for this episode so anybody listening please do yourself a favor and and get a deep download a deep deep Country transmission from this photo it says like this is how we all could be living you know naked men like trans McKenna said we know where we really want to be is in the jungle sitting in the jungle naked stoned and exalted and and that’s how I want to live so you know with all the with all that said a couple little things here is that Jasmine is a yoga instructor a community organizer activist and a bookstore owner and and she will be one of the very first survival women models for the new website that I’m launching at mentioned a few times in the past and and we’ll get in to kind of the the the thinking behind that and how we you know we’re going to collaborate to really changed shifts and paradigms in a really fun and empowered way so we’ll get into that later but for now just wanted to say thank you for bearing with the too long intro and Jasmine is going to know take over and lead us on a nice some grounding kind of intro and then we’ll get to hear all about her in her own words a band that was beautiful and so honored to be on this podcast with you today and I just want to take a couple of moments to kind of ground and center before we get the chatting so I invite anyone who is listening to this to find a comfortable seat if you can’t find a comfortable seat that’s fine to invite you to close your eyes if you’re not driving just began to turn in and word and Bill the contrast of the heaviness of the body and the likeness of your breath maybe you take your tongue to the top of the mouth so you create a nice little part between your lips and your teeth and I hope your breathing slowly begin to let your ex house become a little bit longer than your in house maybe you call when your favorite see it to you right now where energy or spirit that you like to work with whenever you’re ready believe again. The eyes flutter open and bring yourself back into this moment all right Manny ready I’m ready I am so ready I was born ready for this cool so yeah tell us all about your personal life journey to lead us up to this lovely moment they were sharing Barry as well I am from a small rural town and you know I’m one of those places where there’s not much to do besides getting in trouble so I’m actually really blessed that somehow that my past was a lot different from a lot of the kids that I grew up with and I think a lot of that had to do with like the the matriarchal family I was brought up in had a strong grandmother even though during this time so I kind of just thought she was really strict she’s actually creating like structure that a lot of children crave to start at 6 and set three light and three growing up with her she put me into an early college high school so I graduated high school at 17 with an associates degree I went off to go to college I graduated college it’s Manny with a ba in political science college for about five years now so I’m 25 and most people would just be graduating college right now but when I graduated college like a lot of people kind of experience this like shifting your like like where you feel like okay now what and during that now what phase is when I begin my yoga Journey my yoga practice and that was five and a half years ago and a lot has changed but the one constant has always been my ability to come back to my map and for that I’m really grateful and I think have self-discipline through my practice has really shaped and mold me into the woman I am today so yeah that’s fabulous your accelerated I love it there are these moments of acceleration where you’re like you kind of like blink and then like a years have gone by and then you have these moments where I like things kinda Canfield. But really that’s just the time of resting there to be honored to you know right on yeah that’s that’s very interesting is this the first time I’ve heard of a program of a high school where you could actually be getting credit towards College simultaneously that sounds like a very opportune in yeah I would love to see that via the way for people to be more empowered and more set up and I have to reinvent the wheel so much with so many wasted hours if monotony and rote learning and all that stuff so yeah how was your college experience it’s kind of a shitshow I think up until that point I had been like so sheltered and really like a nerd for lack of better words you know it’s kind of cool now but back then it didn’t feel too cool so when I got the college and I was like by myself like any country girl who finally gets to the city, but I was able to keep it together enough so I can walk across that stage tell us more about the wildness if I can’t imagine what you mean by that College was a great experience in the sense that that was the first time I had really look like I had an opportunity to like really explore like black urban culture like I said I am an African-American woman and I grew up in a rule town and many of my school years I was often like one of maybe like three black kids so is a culture shock in that way and you know I’m forever grateful for those times like the relationships in The Sisterhood that created really like been lifelong friendship and he has so many of the people I went to school there doing incredible things here in the area that we lived in especially in the activist and organizing community so I’ll go ahead and I’m going to mention this I hope she’s okay with me mention this I have a friend named glow who was a part of the Charlotte Uprising if you’re not familiar with the Charlotte Uprising it was a series of a protest that were triggered by the the police killing of an unarmed black man and weather has been really in transit in that movement and is facing felony charges for conspiracy and like starting a riot and all these like what does Tactics with the state uses to impress black voices honestly and so if anybody wants to support glow you can support her at like Charlotte Uprising on Facebook figure out how you feel like donate to her legal defense funds and yeah and so like all of us and now we’re like out here doing this like activist work and back then if you knew you would never think we would be the ones like on the front lines protesting because back then we’re more concerned about partying but you know well that’s best music to my ears. I definitely had a similar experience yeah but partying and getting political and political partying it for being a little more on the for me you know I’m the anarchists kind of spectrum of just wanting to break down break down all the organized religions and all the organized political systems and get really really raw and him back to the roots and I know ya without disclosing your your whereabouts exactly I know that there is a I mean we have good good very deeply nature connected kind of movements that we that we both share so yeah Anarchy for life oh yeah so good part owner of is an anarchist bookstore so we we we focus a lot and Anarchist literature and having a very diverse selection of authors and you know Octavia Butler you know emergent strategy and brown Bell hooks You Name It We got it has been a really good experience for me I thought I was bad until I like teamed up and started doing this and I was like well I could be way more rider that’s awesome it sounds like it’s kind of a Cooperative kind of structure is at how do you how do you do that it’s just really interesting and really this I’d love to spend some time on this because a 25 year old entrepreneur in that space but also doing it in a minute in a more collectivized sense where you’re not trying to always be the lone rock star or you know carrying all the weight by having a healthy business Dynamic where you’re serving the community and your hopefully you know appealing yourself away from the working for the man you know and making living it’s doing things right so how is that you want to tell us about it just a Dynamics in so people can get a good get inspired to do some other things a lot of people are starting to wake up to you it’s the idea that you really can’t do it all by yourself you know like we’re so removed from like community that it’s just so much to take on especially when you look at the state of the world now that you can be really depressing if you try to like fix everything by yourself and so I think like working with a proper dose is been really like therapeutic for me like the bonds that I’ve built but these people but you know in a traditional work setting maybe have like a cold and you’re just really not feeling up to par but you might not necessarily have that intimate connection to just be like you know what like I would like to give 100% today but you might get 75 and this is why I not feel judged for it because we we don’t prioritize our work as like in a sense of like a capitalist labor mentality like our work is more of a in the sense of service start Unity so yeah I love that I have the ability to like lean into that a lot and I think it’s something that’s really missing but you know I’m we talked about entrepreneurship I feel that that’s been the white one of the cornerstones of my generation is just being like you know I really don’t want to do the nine-to-five thing is like forever confused when I let got a college about like why I was so depressed and so miserable and these jobs and it’s because they’re not normal you’re not in it so like an office desk or Worse do you like hard manual labor for like hours of a day and like get like an hour break has not normal it just doesn’t make sense to me when I started linking up with like-minded people I was like Oh My Tribe thank God I’ve been looking everywhere for you guys. I feel exactly the same way and I was just having a conversation just about the drudgery and the sort of repackage slavery in a lot of people you know you would have more of a deeper authentic voice on this issue the me one of the ways to think that people lose sight of just the process of building Empire in Civilization is that you know the The Branding on slavery has changed and their arguments have been made you know you can audit them better than I but just saying that essentially the it was in some way some people would argue I’ve heard the argument that that no slaves who do the slave labor have to earn in Spain money for rent and room and board and all of these other Aldi’s Aldi’s other necessities of life that that were provided in so-called traditional or official slavery now the trick on everybody and not the least of which being the freed slaves is that oh you’re free now but you still are under the impressive system still have institutionally disadvantaged and marginalized in the whole pyramid of privilege is still a pressing and on top of that now you have to pay rent now you have all these other bosses in oppressors and it’s like the only way to break free from all that is to do what you’re talkin about which is collectivize and share resources in and work for working with each other and serve a community in an end then you can really be free of of having to feel pressure to work for somebody else’s you know Empire to even survive I don’t know how that sounds you know if I’m using the right language but curious about your thoughts very deep question when I when I hear you speak up a couple of things come to mind me I think I like I wouldn’t be the first person to say like today’s caplis labor is slavery I would attribute more of that like modern slavery slavery to like the prison industrial complex just because like I mean the way those people are treated in prison is just absolutely disgusting you know I am a part of a collective that collects books for prisoners and like they can’t even get hardback books like there’s so many regulations on like what they’re allowed to even read in prison that. Feels like that’s very much like like somebody having like literal control of your life where I think you know in like capless America like traditional Society like we do have like a lot of leeway in that sense but other thing that came to mind was you know how the system of capitalism rely so heavily on when men and women’s bodies right because ultimately we are the people who reproduce the workers are right and that’s something that really came to me and that the way that like our government tries to regulate women’s bodies is so deeply High to capitalism. if you want to talk about women’s Liberation we have to talk about the dismantlement of the system that no longer is working for us you know yeah yeah those are really really important points I’m glad you brought them up and they had those are whole whole topics for whole other episodes that I will definitely have you a recurring guest in knowing when we so now there anybody listening to understand why you know why I’m so thrilled to have someone with this level of insight to to be on the show and to bring help me come back to a more radical more more insurrectionary even kind of attitude towards the system and you know I’m really not here to to put on rose colored glasses and make everybody into Township Bliss bunnies that just Frolic and leap over all of the Shadow work that needs to be done so she had sex magic which is like I would love to see a people’s movement rooted in spiritual health and sexual Liberation and that didn’t happen a lot I mean even I know the Black Panthers were were systematically terrorized by the FBI and they would even implant it wouldn’t plant home-wrecking informants and in Plants insiders to actually fuck with people using jealousy and using the tactics of of like really Mike fucked-up monogamous drama to fucking ruin the movement and say okay if you had resilient sexual magical tantric tribes maybe that shitt wouldn’t work maybe they’d have to go through 74 initiations I know even the The Weather Underground SDs that was more of a of a white kind of elite more elitist and white kind of movement that they would do homosexual initiations to not that I know exactly all of the historical details about it but I believe that the thinking was that to break down the structures of patriarchy that they would they would in some places require a sort of homosexual kind of initiation and that probably also was a way to say oh you do you know any if you’re a cop in the room raise your hand okay now now you have to like stripped naked and join this orgy otherwise you know your we’re going to know your I don’t know if that anyway I could there’s so much to learn about about these about this movement so again I just I think we’re going to have lots of fun on going you know exploring the stuff and I’ll just leave it there for now but yeah go ahead. I will shut myself up and you know it when we were talking about like you know like the FBI using like jealousy and like these like like kind of Primal like Musa kind of fuck was like I was really lucky to do you like an all-day group intensive workshop with Alice Walker and if you’re familiar with her she’s the author of The Color Purple in search of our mothers Gardens you really famous Friday and my question for her was like how do I continue to show up as a community organizer as activist and like take care of myself at the same time and her response was you have to heal yourself first before you can show up in that capacity so you know especially with like Daris amen if you’re not doing that emotional labor like you’ll you’ll get you’ll get there like you you’ll make strides but you it can be easily triggered and this I told if you’re not working on things like jealousy and you know like these Primal energy that can be really a distraction at times yeah that is that’s great advice well we’ll so now it’s okay so I’m just so thrilled because normally did to this is I mean I’ll say that there is a lot of well well meant and really justifiable tension and hostility between and among the genders and sexes in radical communities because there is so many creditors that go into like direct-action campaign and end up trying to you know he’ll actually a lot of those people are are the cops I got to give away a dead giveaway is at the agitators who were sent in there and if they’re not actually trained it call Monica or whatever they’re actually just sort of people that may be a flipping and doing the sort of treacherous and traitors stuff of being maybe they got busted for having a joint and then they said hey go and fuck with that that direct-action campaign and we’ll let you off or whatever but you know I’ve seen those kind of people and they come in and they are the ones who were trying to sexually manipulate and violate women and to create that sort of drama so you know too too kind of frame this discussion little bit around the sexuality you know the ideal of sexual Liberation in radical communities and then the sort of shadow of How It’s in some places we can create Anarchy especially like deep in the forest when they’re did say they are far away the system is actually far away and then there’s a lot of you know enforce the fence campaigns that I was involved with there were rapes and molestation and abuse has and there would be the sort of tribalism of the you know bands of Brothers kind of breaking off and fighting the women who were really literally fighting for their lives and fighting for the forest because it’s all that stuff so you’re taking a very bold step from that away from that that more siloed and hostile attitude towards me because you could have really been like who the fuck is his douchey white dude talking about you know all this Liberation stuff and in a part of that is very true but you’ve been you know forgiving and being an open to me and now we’re having this conversation about what’s really going to be me taking the fruits of my heart labor and that the money in my pocket and just handing it over to you handsome amounts to take pic nude pictures of yourself in nature and some sort of exploiting you sexually but I’m also empowering you financially and so and you’ve done some webcamming so how about you take over just tell us about wet what’s X work with looks like from your paradigm you know one Brad like I kind of like have like a load for you know these patriarchal white supremacist capitalist system as Bell hooks so I can call it but in the same breath you know when there’s been times where I like I had to happen so that survival instincts and I had like one guy asked me one time he was like am I the victim or the victimizer and the truth is we’re but you know like I think you have to have a certain amount of street-smart to to be able to like use what naturally you have to like to take it to the next level or to financially take care of yourself and support yourself but you know sex work is the oldest work in the world and is not going anywhere and there have been times where like white douchey man have all we like helps me like maybe pay for like tuition for college shirt and this and that and that and it was very much it felt like a mutual exchange it’s really hard to talk about monetizing or like what your body is worth but I would just always encourage women who are like in this in this fail to like don’t load don’t lie sell yourself you know like take care make sure you’re making enough to take care of yourself first and foremost I think when that’s feeling of like it being a mutual exchange starts to like kind of waiver then that’s when we start talking about like maybe this is more of self harm than it is actual good and that’s up to each person’s own discernment like what feels Mutual for you like how how do you value yourself and then there’s been times when I was camping and people would be like they say the meanest things and get tell me I was charging too much and doing this and doing that and I can be a lot on your self-esteem but I just encourage you to stick to your guns because those people naturally weed themselves out for sure for sure well I’m I’m feeling that I’m feeling that very deeply and you know if I have one sort of claim to I guess my is there’s a there’s a lot of white guilt kind of Shadow behavior in the activists Progressive funeral ft world and green left it kind of world and you know I’ve I guess a lot of people who have that white guilt have strategies of ways to try to minimize the amount of privilege that they have on paper so they’ll you know come up with ways that they are also oppressed and you know I will also be enough for me and I feel like there is some it’s a struggle and it is it’s a real thing and I feel like it’s a it’s an appropriate internal battle to have about like what is my role on this continent what is my role in this hemisphere you know what the going to be in service or am I going to be a parasite on you know all of the indigenous people in the land and I’m trying you don’t go into that struggle and I would say that you know the one thing that that is legitimate about my sort of being able to claim that I have some impressions of my own is that I have that background is like a street-walking sex worker as a minor you know an inn that I had said to be able to so you know I’ve seen some horrific things in Android some things and that doesn’t make me on the level with a lot of other people by any means but we can at least talk about that from a you know from a I can talk about that from a place of humility in place of having been there and Having learned Street smarts in until I understand like exactly you’re talking about is it you know there is well how would you how would you feel about this argument the sort of sick Pro sex work feminist argument that you know what to put it put it briefly as just that well you know if the feminist who are saying that you’re selling out the feminist movement by serving the crude sexual desires of these men do you know I don’t deserve it and and what not there I see. I see the validity in those points but then the counter argument that I I really like is the one where where women who are sex workers have in each type c see things in a feminist Missy will look at what you’re doing with your body like you’re doing something that could probably get you killed or get you injured you working at a factory that’s prostitution to I’m just being sexy and feeling good in my body and yeah I got to do with some Trolls but you know hey at least I’m doing something very sustainable which is making myself you know as long as I’m hydrated I can just squirt all day and make more money yeah go for something interesting to you were talking about like like from a place of like privilege like what is your role in this world and like honestly like I I feel so blessed in my life that I often times Bill even as a woman of color when I look at like the the global Community as a whole like I am in a place of privilege right and so when we talked about like the larger like our larger Community is it our goals to like if you’re in a place of privilege to kind of full other people up with you like a thank you note capitalism kind of has a backwards cuz it’s like oh like the people at the top will give the poor people stuff right but like what if we like all like collectively were like just like uplifting and like helping each other so yeah I had to deal with some Trolls but ultimately it was what privilege we’re giving me the money and they’re for helping me like with myself up right and now I’m in this position where I can do the same thing for other people even though it’s not in the span of sex work anymore you know random thought sorry please preach on I’m riveted in in a very yeah it’s like this is a really really important kind of thumb conversation that probably you don’t hear to have to just sit a regular Starbucks you know thank you for space so how about telling us more about just your connection to Nature your other other aspects of your character and personality that you’re developing and and then really what you what you were if you were a theoretically to receive a lot of financial tributes and tips and donations ultimately through the the project that we’re going to both to get to talkin about in a little bit but I want to definitely just give you time to talk more about the depth of your character and really what your passions are and what what you’re doing with the means that you have and what you would do if you had a sudden influx of really like serious abundance to to take things all to the next level and so we can kind of go on a journey with you and an imaginary thank you thank you for asking so where I feel most and called to be in service to you as I’m I’m bringing yoga to underserved communities I think it’s really interesting that you know we look at the book The Western version of like yoga culture that is supposed to be rooted in like thieves like carbonetic acts of service but often times like it’s just missed the most are the community sit actually are need of these holistic resources the most and I think you know as a woman of color I feel maybe I feel more confident walking into the projects are the ghettos or the hoods and just setting up my yoga mat and doing my thing and seeing who you like stops and talks to me along the way so if I had like an influx of abundance which I will I’m going to call that in right now I would probably invest and buying more yoga mats and yoga props so I can have like my little van and just go around the different projects and get us and hoods and do pop-up yoga and not charge people money for it yeah it’s something that I it’s really interesting to me like how in America we even found the way it’s like monetize off of it like a like a like a yoga practice like me but is this and I understand people have to pay their bills but I feel like for me even with like the bookstore that I work at and I’m a worker owner at is I don’t make the most money but it’s from such a deep place of service I feel like I’m the richest person in the world and I think that mentality that mentality of the abundance has really served me on my journey so if I had an influx of abundant that’s what I would do with it I would invest and my props and maybe buy a van and deck it out hippie style and just drive around to these communities and show love and show gratitude for them and it’s just that interesting to me about the communities that are in need of like the holistic resources the most are often times the ones that have the most like limited access to it and I find that deeply troubling in the starving and I want to be a part of the solution and as a woman of color who feels like they’re in the space of privilege at times I feel like I honestly would be doing a disservice to my soul and this lifetime if I did not take this role on and if I did not take it seriously well I’m giggling and tearing up right now because it’s I just love it so much and can actually I could have this thought came into my mind is this phrase that I hope you will take it and run with it if it if it drives with you because I’ve never heard it before and I don’t know if it’s you know I’m afraid to Google it cuz it’s probably already a huge movement it’s already got books and websites everything but I have never heard these two words together but in this conversation it’s like this is this is what I hope you will claim and an impacted rhysand is the words gorilla yoga or cruelly yogini it sounds like with that van is going to be all about and I know I’ve been a Guerilla Gardener and a gorilla media activist and everybody uses that word kind of tosses it around for different things and guerrilla marketing that’s a book you know it’s a whole the whole I don’t know if I called a movement but it it probably isn’t movement within marketing and I in the book is is a guerrilla tactics is just that the underdog if people aren’t familiar it’s it’s really just the archetype of people who are even America would be considered to be based on guerrilla warfare tactics because they weren’t fighting you know in marching lines and drumming and you know giving away their position they were sniping from the trees and you know we have a proud history anyone who you know worships the flag if that’s your thing you got to be paying homage to Guerrilla tactics so I love what you’re talking about and people do flash Bob yoga stuff like that so you know that if I feel like that’s going to be at least the title of this episode is now going to be gorilla yoga with survival women Jasmine and both of us kind of have like a glove for cryptocurrencies and one of the ideas that have came to my mind is decentralized Yoga right like so you don’t need a studio like you don’t like you don’t need a bank for cryptocurrency beer and yoga studio are you going to go see her right so like yeah I like this I like this movement feel like decentralized most things awesome well okay well I’m getting chills and this is just getting better and better so I will say that yeah if if you don’t mind I’d like to spend a few minutes just kind of bringing you can have to speed Indian people who are listening or going to get the the sort of real-time one of the first now actually kind of relieved through looks into what the what the survival woman project is is now really shaping up to be how the mechanics of it are looking like they’re going to work out and because you were proposition by me you know now it’s been a few months you know have just been kind of dabbling and whether or not I wanted to move forward with this and knowing that it was sort of a a my my Dharma the the focus I want it take to move forward with this is how the survival women modeling project that I feel qualified you know and hello sir. I think we first broke up relationship I’ve ever been we’re going to have a makeup conversation now and cool but yeah so so back to the survival admin thing I would like to just kind of give you the full informed consent overview in and we can get in this moment actually just share thoughts and you can really it’s it’s going to evolve to wear well I’ll just I’ll just take a little take one breast and and try to lay it out as succinctly as if in an elevator doing an elevator picture what is sometimes called stuck in elevator pitch cuz I attempted to go on with these things but I am not going to name names here but they’re there are other modeling Enterprises out there that that I think have done a great job to bring forward the the alt modeling mystique and aesthetic and I and II praise and honour all of the all of the other entrepreneurs in his face and so I’m not going to say that I’m trying to do something better be be if you know anybody down but I will say that I believe the evolution of using Electronic media to to sell and to profit from women’s bodies that it can be done in a way that is a triple bottom line benefit Corporation when when when you know all of that good sort of thumb social impact kind of thinking and and an engineering that from a technical perspective using cryptocurrency what what I’m currently literally in the middle of developing with teams of developers all over the world I’m kind of shopping around bidding projects for different development and design aspects of this but what it comes down to is that I feel that there’s there’s well-established an existing models now for you know for sure there’s something called giveth. IO which is the aetherium Smart contract based way for people to do crowd Source funding to support charitable type of works and projects all over the world for people who are unbanked and who would be marginalized and probably choked out the nonprofit sector and it’s formal sense and so really anybody with the mission and a purpose and a plan can start to connect with these platforms now that cryptocurrency based and get attention and in crowdfunding and they don’t have to do the sketchy Ico SEC kind of taunting route of the lot of people getting in trouble for it just kind of like no deliverables no investing into a future of earnings of a company or any of those those tricky legal traps but you straight up taping people and I think that the the gift economy is really proving itself out and in the Tipping economy is and you would know that an old people and a sex work in history who know people just hit and run you with hundreds of dollars are thousands of dollars as tribute for nothing like they don’t even ask you to do anything or say anything or wear anything or send them your underwear or nothing they just go away I like I like your Vibe I like your style here it is I got to run to work but like take some money in in the crypto world at the the scope of that type of tipping and gifting is is is just astronomical so I’m out there trying to wire together this website framework to create an opportunity for establish models in the high-end you know La modeling industry because they are actually very very accessible very easy and fun to work with very professional mostly and and very open-minded and I’m having great success and and luck and Fortune working with very established model some of them having tens if not hundreds of thousands of followers and social media and all it’s going to take to light this Wildfire match to bring up all of the women of the world I believe you are willing to step into this platform you know the balance that I’m trying to strike here is that if the established models of the world get on board with this platform has some of them already have enthusiastically I might add in for you know very good rates like I’m I’m paying well and and and I’m paying more than the industry standard for very established people and they also gives you know that if if all it takes is for any of them to proudly display their association with his project and that will create what I believe to be an influx of interest and enthusiasm that will very rapidly trickle-down to those people in need women around the world who have a smartphone internet connection but maybe no money and no bank and no way to comply with them whatever the other web platforms are required in a required to do so there’s already a yeah there’s already yogini in Mexico who is going to do her introduction video for this project in Spanish with subtitles and yes I feel like the the the there are other people in crypto who are pushing the limits of sexy and sex work and spankchain is is part of that you know paradigm-shifting crypto camming kind of platform building Frontier that that that New Horizon of the technological shift and and everybody goes if the Arium Geeks man there so there such sweethearts and there’s some of the most endearing men that I have seen you know at least online some of them I’ll be meeting more closely soon but I really feel like that that the 1% that that the Occupy Movement was fighting there’s a new 1% and they’re all crypto anarchists and lot of them are there Libertarians in there Circle calculus which made me cringe for a while but now I see that they need us as much as we need them and some of them are into Ayahuasca and some of them are you know into burning man and stuff like that so I really feel like you know the the frustrated desire of all of these dudes jerking off to porn and not having an authentic and legitimate connection to the women that they were pleasuring themselves to if we give them the opportunity to tip and to support and to connect with whether it’s from camming to what I believe with the survival in Project is going to be mostly G-rated family-friendly stuff works like you know let your imagination do the work like these women are not always going to be you no teasing you teasing your cock you know so I get over it but we’re bored concerned with is that we have we build a brand that is not going to be limited by XXX you know flagging online and not going to have all that just over the top stuff I’ve been there a day that is very tedious and very kind of nerve-wracking to try to have to be compliant with all that stuff so you know what that said my my proposal really now to you and you were one of the first ones again to kind of reinvigorate me on this is that you know I would love to see a transfer of power once I can bootstrap this with my own money that I make literally working in Beverly Hills in Malibu you know working on landscapes for rich clients and take taking that money in living frugally and taking the percentage of that money and put it into hiring models to get us up the ground what it will eventually lead to is a situation where through the blockchain technology the models themselves will be will be facilitating the flow of of capital through this through the platform and then to know the trip like you said ringing other people up and raising other people up to the collective collectivization of well if you know in power and privilege it’s it’s really going to get to a point where I step away almost like Satoshi and say here is the brain work and it’s like you all it’s you it’s you you’re all stitute to run with and to you so you know that’s how I protect myself from being seduced by power and being too you know having a Founder complex and stuff is that you can build a platform and you can with crypto and blockchain walk away from it and let the users really control the destiny of it as a decentralized application and it’s going to start off with a bit of centralization to to get it you know it’s it’s hatching and its wings and out of the nest and so did Bitcoin so did everything else that there is a crucial. Where you have to take on a little bit extra responsibility but but yeah you are definitely one of the you know the keys to the queendom I’m going to just like Hannah be handing them over and and that’s that’s that’s my verbal kind of Mile High verbal white paper kind of reviews how do you get if you can now take over from from where I just left off with that and let me know how you feel about that and and yeah it will we will be creating a lot of fun stuff together and in the process moving forward came to mind as he were speaking for me on for synchronicity I’ve always kind of considered myself to be really intuitive and I remember when I first started learning about cryptocurrencies I wasn’t quite sure like how it would look but I knew that this would be something that would really like set me up for the rest of my life and you know when I first start listening to your podcast and became your friend I never in a million years would think like these two things would like I’ve realized in a way that they are like overlapping so it just feels like and maybe other people can relate to this is. Like even like the sketchy times in your life like they all are like preparing you for like the next step in your journey and that really resonates with me because quite honestly like I haven’t I haven’t done camming in like 2 or 3 years and a lot of things that I share on my social media is just mean literally showing my authentic self and being myself and it’s really interesting like the people here are like kind of gravitate towards me when I am my most authentic self and so I think this is a great opportunity for other women like me who who have followings or you know or are present in in a public way to really use their their voices and there are four Mama Gaia for a bigger purpose you know especially when we talk about ecosexuality being such a hot word right now everybody wants to be in the woods hunting yeah I just think this is like it’s a beautiful ways to combine things that are really dear to my heart and dear to your heart and you need to take care of ourselves with it and sustain ourselves with that and I think everybody is deserving of this like everybody should be able to sustain yourself with what they actually care about versus what they’re supposed to be doing but I think this is a really powerful project band and I’m honored to be working on this with you well well thank you so much it means it means so much to hear you say that and yeah from the from the deepest place in my heart you know I F I wish there was a way to and I think blockchain will ultimately facilitate this where it’s like you know whatever I feel like my misdeeds have been in my mistakes and ways that I’ve wrong people and there’s no there’s definitely I I do not want to be the single point of failure for something and I feel like is it as big as in powerful and as important as everything that you have shared in this conversation which you know I don’t not trying to put myself throw myself to the Wolves as just being the privileged white boy and what not but I will say that you know whatever whatever we’re agreeing on as being truth about the the duty to step up and and B are true authentic sexual cells and serve nature and help to dismantle patriarchy and and all these things you know I guess I’ve said to people before that in this lifetime I can honestly say that you know I have been abused and tortured and molested and raped and oppressed and incarcerated and in a lot of the ways that that women have and I won’t say women of color but I will say that bike in this life I didn’t have the ball games and barbecues that a lot of men take for granted and I didn’t have a lot of the same so I am a I am a gender traitor I don’t consider myself in transition in the enemy way of you know that I and I don’t I don’t have them not no value judgments on that whatsoever but I will say that I really I really do want to have the power Dynamic and the the what are they call it the the the shift of the financial power the the sort of yeah this this Tipping Point of men acknowledging their weaknesses and also being genuine about their help a Cherokee has wounded them and also handing the keys to the kingdom over and letting the women lead and and to some extent where appropriate collectively govern and that let there be a safe form of financial and sexual matriarchy that is going to be necessary for men to kind of ketchup and he’ll Andre wire and really earn public like we we failed with political dominance in sexual dominance sake that there’s no question about that so we need to go in time out and if there’s you no mercy for us as our Doms might you know Grant this effort time to time then we will be given a chance to to rise to the occasion but they’re really does need to be a male ego surrendering and so you know I just want to know put that out there so when haters and people that want to attack me and tell me I’m not qualified as I just want to be like hey look I’m just the messenger you know you can shoot me if you want I got to do it right somebody has to do the work so I think you are amazing for stepping up to the plate and doing the word yeah and you know I think that’s an honest conversation that people need to have Bell hooks off Austin says you know women and men have both been wounded by patriarchy and and as I was walking would like to say time for Democratic womanism hand over the key right on well we definitely touching a lot of synchronicity here and I will say that my I’m trying I will be speaking lesson listening more and there will be more of me just having a sweet smile at being a security guard and a sort of technical sort of them just backing and supporting yeah wait for for women’s voices to be heard and and the Beautiful projects that you are working on to be to be seen and adored and and also break down a lot of that pretty privilege stuff I would love for Elder I mean there will be as many types of diverse body types and facial structures and makeup no makeup hair no hair whatever it’s all really the depth of and I I I believe that we are able to see Beauty Beyond the beauty myth in and we just need to be exposed to a more mmmm the radiance of women in their Crone years and women who are BBW all that stuff is all what we what we yearn for is that diversity and at texture of life in every different body type and every different appropriate age and all that good stuff so yeah let’s sew with all that. Yeah you we really did me a huge favor to like bear with me to 2 to hear all this and I wanted to bow down and bail out a bit and say please do meet us out of this of this podcast with perhaps you know what whatever is on your mind whatever you feel like I’m sharing from from your heart and then if you’d be so kind as to kind of clothes with you with your meditative black girl affirming prayer magic and the podcast women that’s like tactics the kindest rough like they’re their heteronormative monogamous relationships as a distraction I used to work Primal several times to reference like a emotions like jealousy but instead of using the word Prime alumni replace that with the word ego-driven because I think it’s really important to acknowledge because I actually I think being Primal very healthy and a lot of ways and it’s something that we should be more into tapping into you that I’m going to use the word ego and not Primal and I don’t think I could like walk away this without saying bye House of the firming I spell black BLK because I think that the way black is spell and like our culture black kind of like is this unspoken connotation as if black is lacking something but actually black is desorption of all colors that I like Blk and then girl is g i r l a n d white girlfriend name and yeah it’s already been I’m going to invite you to find a comfortable seat once again and to just really begin to focus on those shorter in Hell’s and those longer X house grounding here to this moment with gratitude and love and gratitude for the internet to help us create community that we wouldn’t have if it if it was not for so thank you Ben thank you so much yes we will be in touch very soon and everybody stand by for the forthcoming launch of the survival woman.com spelled w o y let me write that down and I will start it over again it will be it will be one second and today is July 8th today is July 12th and my goal is to have a beta testing version of the website survival woman.com up in the next few weeks and that’s Survival spell normally and women spelled w o m b y a.com so survival and that will be up soon and you will be featured as one of the first and yeah one of the first models on that website and we will have some very fun content going and we will also be yeah eventually hey I think was probably going to happen is that the survival woman will have its own podcast and maybe you will be one of hopefully many hostesses to bring that like I would love to just put your facilitate that that part of the platform as well so I sent it to think about half your debt if you want to be in that kind of role as well so yeah alright well then let’s call it a podcast and we’ll be in touch very soon thank you so much again Jasmine and yeah have a wonderful rest of your gorilla yogini afternoon what’s a good day. Thank you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com Thomas Day

Sustainable Sexual Liberation with Francesca Gentille TPP24

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tp-francesca-gentilleFrancesca Gentille is the co-author of “The Marriage of Sex & Spirit,” the radio host of “Sex: Tantra & Kama Sutra”, and the Director of The Integrative Arts Institute.  She is a sex and intimacy counselor who presents internationally on the use of Sacred Eros and Sacred BDSM in recovery from trauma.

In this episode we discuss sacred sexuality’s past, present, and future by drawing upon anthropological data, our personal life experiences, and Francesca’s  wealth of knowledge and wisdom from years of amazing work in the field. She share’s her tantra life history of personal growth and development, then we explore many issues that are close to our hearts and minds. Ultimately she bestows as sense of great hope for sustainable sexual liberation, including the interpersonal and professional domains of sexuality.

Connect with her online:

 

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin I want to thank you French biscuit in PA for joining me for episode number 24 of the township hunt podcast it’s a great honor to have you here as listen to all of your podcasts and follows your work and I’m just really excited and honored to be speaking with you so if you could give us some background on your sort of Contra life history and about what you’re up to these days I will take you so much bad for you including me in this and giving me an opportunity to share because I think that is a desire to make a difference and to do that we really need people like you who helped us get our message in our calling out to the world and Catholics in Wisconsin and there were those negative and conflicting messages about the body about sexuality about being a woman and if it’s meant is that I was only supposed to have sex once I was married that sex outside of marriage was a sin that in order to be thought of as a respect for a good woman I could always say no about sex and I should be very wary of anyone who wanted hit maybe even put their arm around your kiss me and I should also look at my body as a source of Temptation you know that my body could lead me astray and being raised with these kind of messages I became really terrified of sex and when I was he know dating age if a man with the very young somewhere around 1415 that if I kept going like this I would end up being frigid by the time that I’m married I would have been so patterned in my brain and in my responses around fear and sexuality that I wouldn’t be able to enjoy sexuality and so I began to start a process that I would later discover in Psychology is called successive approximation where I would hold in my mind that you have to be waking and sleeping. with Matt then I also was very very careful who I chose to date and partner with so that I have always chosen men really honored my pacing in the sexuality and if I want to go very very slow if I want to spend months or years kissing we’re just talking and I choose honor that and so I had the opportunity to incompetence lay next to a boyfriend naked without having sex just to become comfortable with the naked male by and I also was with someone from 14-223 that we really started out as friends and your friends three years friends eventually I absolutely loved him heart Body Mind and Spirit it was true very deep very sincere love not a crush and we eventually became lovers and had a very beautiful and vibrant and sweet sex life but it’s 23 he came out as gay which was profoundly shattering for me at that time and we’ll just started I think a deeper drive and curiosity how do they come together how do they make their choices is it are we gay or straight are we at 10 years later when we got together for a dinner I said you know how did it work that you identify as gay but we had this really virutex left and then I’ve had more sexual dysfunction issues with the men who might consider themselves heterosexual and he couldn’t that we had become so close you know a mental alignment the spiritual alignment alignment that we have become so close that there was a way to get my gender no longer mattered and the love they felt for me inspired ignited his erotic nature so his love for me was actually LED and his arousal for me was led by not his cock but by his heart never said a certain tone or even a certain standard for my sexuality that I would later years and years later cuz I didn’t really start studying until more probably my early forties that I would find out years later was there a contract that instead of leading with r instinctual neurobiological you know you smell like food let’s fuck you know rather than leading with that we learn to slow down we learn to be conscious of our breathing conscious of our responses your am I attractive am I judging you positively or negatively am I male or female arousal whether that’s 4 hours or whether that’s for a lifetime and that by having this experience in my you know 14-223 in a way it is started a pattern that would make a lot of sense when I got to Tantra is the sense of leading with the heart and letting the heart in form the rest of us rather than leading guess what are Primal nature another thing that I did start in my late twenties and early thirties started to study cross-cultural sacred sexuality so before I studied I was actually studying kind of sacred sexuality that was in that so for me personally although I will sometimes say I’m a I’m a tantra teacher because that’s easy to speak out of my mouth do you know Center teacher I really perceive myself to be a teacher and a coach that died around cross-cultural sacred arrows not just Eastern or Asian and I believe that sacred sexuality is our Birthright that it is interwoven into every single lineage of History whether we’re Jewish weather where you know of some sort of you know Arabic Middle Eastern it whether we’re European weather were African whether we’re Asian that no matter what our culture in which Mayan whatever our culture if we go back far enough we can see the anthropological shards of sacred sexuality in our tradition and I like knowing that I like researching that so that we don’t necessarily have to leave our Our Idiot I don’t have to stay at the stop being awesome beautiful awesome let’s do that but if we have to leave we don’t have to leave Christianity we don’t have to leave Judas and we don’t have to leave this why we don’t have to leave whatever tradition were part of to embrace sacred sexuality and so for me that’s very important one of the other things that I feel is very important for our listeners to know is there such a confusion between in the West End in the United States any kind of first world contemporary culture which I grew up with and feels kind of confused about how to relate to their body how to relate to the planet when we start to study in a western culture we had a tendency to focus on the body and sexuality but that. There really is a spiritual path and the goal is not a great sex life is actually the unconditional and compassionate acceptance of all that is it’s a spiritual path and just as it has a do you know who that the blissed-out recorder is not about having a great sex life this is about being incredibly compassionate human being and important people to know now look at my life compassion make a difference make a difference it make a difference if I could be compassionate about my body would it make a difference if I could be compassion about your body or about our sexuality and are our differences if I could hold this really deep compassion would that make a difference in our sex life it would absolutely so we’re now looking at something very different then you know what kind of positions can we do or what kind of position they’re breathing breathing tactics can we do to have a better sex life for a longer orgasm so the Kamasutra literally means the teachings, love to trace the teachings of the teachings about love and it was really like it was and is a spiritual path so such a nerd versus spiritual path and so I think you’re getting one we talked about Francesca’s what is Francesca’s history is it is very deeply personal experience that started a particular path and this very curious inquiring mind wanted to research cross-culturally and explore cross-cultural and still does and sit when I look at you know what am I teaching about sacred sexuality I look at everything from neurobiology psychology energy work Shamanism and teacher is teaching you their own jambalaya you know their own mixture of these little bits of what might be called classical control and lots of everything else that they know and so if you’re going to a tantra teacher it’s I feel it’s really important to ask them like you’re doing what is your background why did you choose this what do you think Nicole is what are your classes like and some country. Medic on her teacher’s sexual perspective and they have a strong bias toward polyamory and polyamory we intimate intimate ways but if you’re trying to go to class to improve your sex partner going to that Public House might actually disrupt your relationship even more so it’s important to know cuz it’s kind of like weirdest Entre come from in our country and what are might you be walking into and what do you need to ask I was starting to rain in Punta I recognized it as a sex and love addict and there was a way that I was approaching my relationship with men that was about getting my 6 and I didn’t know this because because I need to have lots of sex about two different people I wasn’t you know having sex with strangers and whiskey but what happened I had a boyfriend that broke up with me in the middle of my ARCA falling in love and usually you know as many human beings hear you fall in love in those first few weeks or months you if you stay up all night if you’re completely like you’re everything you can make love morning because that guy is actually not about the other person it’s about our own chemical dump in our body going off because something in that person that is triggered and when the drugs are stopping me it’s some it’s starting to look like you don’t touch me the way you used to do you treat me the way you used to it starts to look like the other person is prop and then after whether it’s after three months or 6 months or 9 months or two years whatever that was my power and then I would immediately fall in love with the next person so I can have that wonderful experience You’re My Favorite Drug high is a combination of love and lust just lust just love but if you put love and lust together you know that’s my heroin and so when he broke up with me in the middle of this Arc I couldn’t I couldn’t sleep I was just shaking this FYI girl this is not grieving this is withdrawals you’re going to waste all there when I recognize that fact I put myself into 12 step program for sex and love addicts anonymous American Airlines and they’re all so connected and juicy with each other videos of letting themselves go into this place of merging and high I’m having to practice Friday it was kind of like learning to be sober while spending time in a bar and it was hard my God that was hard and so I would have to work and work on my energy back but not being merged and it was hard but it created such a strong muscle so that now if I do he let you know if I’m doing a lot of killing four people if I’m doing Sexual Healing around there, I can touch their genitals I could touch their body they could be in a state of arousal and I’m not I’m not I’m not you know I’m not going to fantasize about that I’m available to hold a clear space for their healing that’s not about me and what I found is many many many people who call themselves doctors in bikinis and contracts and Country cuz for whatever reason they haven’t so when they are in those healing Simon’s with another person they ask to get very attached they actually are there on issues over the other person and can actually start to give pressure to the other person to be sexual and I’ve heard that over and over and over and over where he’s starting to give pressure like if you have sex with my badge or if you know you let me put my hand up your whatever you and the woman is not her pacing which is actually for her offense seeking Clarity from women Clarity that they never got from their mother Clarity that they have never gotten from their girlfriend and now they’re hiring and then wanting a very clear message pathway where they’re negotiating clearly about boundaries and boundaries are being held in there for something healing about the polarity and so if a country girl. Kitty says you’re in the first session we’re just going to bring together third session where I don’t you know we may never get to the genitals we won’t get to the genitals until the 4th he can relax Clarity with this woman and then she said to get excited by him and then she throws the boundaries out the door we can just go to this we can skip the three sections and just go to this right now he actually filled one day because she’s just replicated the same wording about the other women were unclear interchangeable so I think you’re starting to get a sense of me and my life to is that I’m really really drawn to where is there, where is there, in the body in the south in our ability to feel like our body our sexuality are our life is safe for us to be in and really I’m drawn to ask how can I support people to come home to their bodies in their lives in a way to three safe for them and very authentic for them and that’s that’s the kind of you know if we use one definition of Contra is the weeds that Hunter has a weaving and another way of saying leaving his illness is that’s the kind of from her that I’m drawn to is how do I support each individual to come into their holness and of course of course yeah that’s in my journey to you know how do I come into my home this how do I embrace all that I am including my desires in my Primal and my reactive the including my compassion in my Divinity how do I bring all of it in a way that is loving for me but is not harmful for others because this is also an issue that comes up in a sex-positive community a lot is your freedom freedom we’ve been so shamed by the culture region so limited by the culture I personally believe it that’s an immature attitude and that the child is struggling for three of the teenagers struggling for its freedom but when were an adult we understand we have responsibilities and that my freedom has to be limited by where my actions affect others so I may want to I want to dance and I’m a wanted flitter my music really loudly and can I have colored lights and it’s not fun for them so I need to either turn down my music but I need my freedom is limited by the fact that desire is going to create a negative impact on another human being it is not okay it is not mature adult to say I need this because it’s kind of my freedom we get to stay around the house with my you know music is so I would like to do that but as a mature adult that I need to collaborate with you how is it that work will you be out of the house like to just think when I’m single maybe they’re looking for a dump for relationship and I’m just looking for something really fun so my freedom when I balance my freedom with responsibility my freedom and my desire for Freedom my desires will still guide me but my maturity will allow those desires to be expressed gracefully and responsibly you’re getting a little bit of my soapbox here is that Peter Peter Pan not allowing themselves to mature and do I want to love my body I want to look like I prove that every single desired vanity I have to approve it I want to create a pro but there’s a difference between loving myself so whatever comes up in my little mind and taking action on what I’m thinking I’m going to give you different examples I had a question just really hard wanted to work with and I was 20 or 21 at the time and I didn’t know about boundaries I didn’t know how to really express myself and I felt very powerless in that situation and I would go home and I didn’t know what to do with all that anger really that I had towards her and I came up with a really great idea that I was going to allow myself to fantasize about killing her did I ever harm her no no I never I never did anything for me to kind of this place some of my anger and not take it out on her I sign up for the confusion of a sex positive culture between what I would call a personal fantasy something that I’m going to keep in my mind in my mind and display some energy by having it. Maybe would be really lovely maybe I have a fantasy And my partner’s at the time and I ended up going to a very warm ocean and it was the perfect fantasy to bring into reality this is what I have in some but I’m not going to mention I don’t want them to be brought into another example is I have a fantasy about rafting me at sunset in a beautiful blue silk down get this like sailing into the bay at Sunset and the wind is blowing in his hair and come to the beach and no wake me up in his arms and take me on the road back to the back to the ship in my fantasy somehow he’s able I’m walking along the beach with my dress never gets wet he gets to the beach he puts me in the rowboat we go back to the ship where are the ship and I never get seasick and it in real life I actually get seasick very easily I never even though he’s being great he does not get ripped and it’s now folded neatly next to us even though my back is on the wooden plank of the. I do not get splinters in my fantasy it all works beautifully but I’m smart enough to know that if I try to do that in reality my dress would get ruined and I be kissed I get splinters and that would not make me happy and I probably get seasick the wisdom of of the Amazon and and Beyond and so is that something that you have I just thought I remember reading somewhere you know or talk to you at some point about how this is so like you could be hired by the more formal above ground and sectors of social work or Community work with where you can be brought in to bring some of the stuff that would normally be or I guess it’s just it’s a very interesting Cutting Edge of an intersection and I if I’m not mistaken that’s that you you are like sort of partially in that world 2 of of social work or is that something I understand correctly or social worker social worker y’all are layout string this conversation back and see where where I where I am placed social work as well as all the modalities of counseling and healing you know like they are all part and parcel to supporting and upholding status quo capitalist system so I’m going to like you know like you know also having been in the punk scene also had a big impact on my my party now thought you know in terms of healing these wounds we have to look at that you know we can’t we can’t say like that are healing is going to be independent of a world that is reeling and suffering from the continuation of this system as it is and so that’s where I for me like bringing capitalism into the equation is is something that’s real tricky it’s something that I feel needs to be kind of understood that you know we we can’t just rely on having sting services that we can pay for because that creates a gap you know where some people are going to have accessible abilities to to the healing and others won’t and that’s that’s not healthy for anyone and and also that it doesn’t address the root cause of why we need social workers to begin with and why we need counseling and all of that so I really like the notion of cultural healing that’s where more where I would be comfortable in any way kind of looking at myself as any kind of healer I don’t think we we can really heal individuals that’s really something that you know a person will need to and it’s not like they can be facilitated to do their own healing work but nobody can fix us we have to fix ourselves that’s that’s more I think a more powerful Paradigm to be apart of but you know I I I have worked in the realm I focused therapy and you know I have spent quite a bit of time around the spirit plant medicines and seeing how the plant medicines have assisted and I do I do continue continuously work to increase my knowledge and wisdom around working with us plants and and that also brings us back into that hole realm of discussion around you know ancestors and working with them or perhaps that’s something we haven’t really touched upon but maybe she said it’s just that in any form of healing that we do I guess for me the important thing that I really try to bring into whatever I do connecting back with her ancestors and healing the trauma of how we were disconnected from those ancestors and how that plays out in any kind of sexual wounds or emotional wounds that we carry and so that’s something that I I I feel like the role of initiation and ritual can can really do and that’s that’s been its Province ever since people began doing patrols I think it’s to build upon the legacy of their ancestors and to draw and their their help and support cool said that yeah thank you for helping me understand the other parameters a little better and and 100% there with you I have I have been because I live in the United States where there’s different laws around no prostitution in in how that affects the healing with sexual touch and pleasure as medicine and stuff like that is a lot more yes I understand in in Canada there’s there’s a lot more interesting legal space in order to do Hands-On Sexual Healing work relative to the US where it’s completely off limits in so I because of that adapting to that reality and also is a permaculture designer myself I have to think very deeply about how to navigate this issue of for-profit healing work that kind of in most sectors is about like you said I’ll put in my own words it’s like they want to know if if the if you’re at a time of time robot that supposed to be producing a set amount to be a productive member of the of the GDP then then if you’re not functioning properly than the the goal of the mainstream social work or psychotherapeutic or psychiatric Fields they’re trying to get you back into the rat race as soon as possible and they’ll do that with drugs with talk therapy or whatever that is about avoiding through tissue which is the disconnection from urethane from a healthy holistic wild habitat you know a night as a primitivist I see that you know the solution to your Neurosis is to retry belies and Get Growing your own food again in and rebuild that fabric so you know there with you on that tension about right livelihood in and taking money for healing and what is he doing so I really like what you said and that just is going to it’s going to help me a lot looking at healing the cultural level and healing the if I’m understanding right and I’ll put a couple my own words on it but I feel like we’re trying to build the scaffolding or were trying to design the context for people to take the responsibility of a personal healing and gone to that journey and so if you if what would you say are some practical skills are tools from all of your things that you would teaching and training and a things that you discovered in your own journey to where you’re in power tools for empowerment that you suggest or are resources that you suggest people Explorer to if they’re called to do the cultural healing work weather for profit or non-profit. Some dance between the two or it and then what what are some recommendations for people who are on their own path and aren’t necessarily called to do the the cultural healing yeah I mean it’s it’s a pretty vast subject that one but I think that a few points that I could think about and talk about our that I’m going to this idea of bringing you back in the station rights and recognizing that in the absence of them what do we have you know we are we are sadly in there without initiated Elders so many of us and if there are any of Elders that hold that ability to to guide those those ones are those are worth their weight in gold you know there really is people that we should try to lift up and and give them their recognition and see you know and then in the absence of that it’s like we kind of by default Our Generations people that will have to hopefully fulfill that and reach a place where we can actually help upcoming generations to go in a way that they don’t have to completely go it alone and and figure it out on them on their own the way that so many of us have had to and so there is a movement around Rites of Passage I sit on the board if you passageways which is a network that focus is squarely on you no Rites of Passage for you coming of age from all different walks and and and modalities you know some of them are our Boys to Men oriented some of them are girls to women some of them are starting to incorporate non gender binary kind of approaches as well which is good and and this whole focus on bringing back the ancestors into looking at Rites of Passage is is starting to happen and something that I focused on and so that’s that’s a resource you know people can go to youth passageways. Oregon and look at what programs are out there and they can also think about how they can add to that list and bring in things that are needed around especially around sexuality and relationship which is often I noticed kind of a big gap in a lot of programs out there you know because they’re confined confined or constrained by the conservative values where they take place and you know what school system is you know this is one of those places lagging for that kind of thing so it’s a role that I think that many people who understand the need can step into and cultivate as career paths you know and some people are pig figuring out how they can weave their credentials says on Sexual Health Educators or sexual therapist or sexual trauma or no trauma-based therapists you know into this realm of initiation and that’s that needs to happen on a on an increased level the other I see a lot of because of what I was saying around looks really don’t how many Avenues to learn other than through you know what the books in the workshops and offerings around sexuality thoughts unfortunately are not rooted in in people’s only need two lineages generally speaking you know so the whole Tantra movement is pretty much so you know a cultural appropriator of New Age fight version of those Traditions that would have been squashed by Christianity especially and so I think there’s work to be done there and as much as possible Retreat retrieving reconstructing are reconnecting with our own ancestral Traditions which I’m sure you know had their own knowledge wisdom around how to how to raise healthy harmonious individuals with healthy sexualities from from the vantage point of how what little I do know has been has been done in indigenous cultures and without wanting to appropriate for them from them I’ll just give way of examples out of that you know in and certain cultures that are studied like the Mayan culture and I think to some degree on certain places within Creek culture there’s examples of how as societies you know that the children are raised from an early age 2 reach a point where they understand how to how to harmonize with the other sex and how to to look after each other and that’s just a very basic principle that I feel like you know that’s that’s worth kind of learning how to integrate into our family structures if we have children that were raising just to keep in mind that you know there is a need for them to learn skills around things like consent and around being responsible with with one’s sexual energies and and I needs to start before they reach that age of adolescence where they’re just harder to connect with if you haven’t built up that Foundation so that’s something that I think about will do you so if I if if we check out that the organization that you mention is it would that be good place to find and something like a more enlightened or more conscious like sexual education curriculum or guidebook do you know if people were working on something like that so if I know if you know parents who were going through the puberty of their child that they have something that’s not just this cold clinical Western and even though that sort of evolving a little bit you know with things like a sack didn’t and whatnot I see a lot but the The ancestral wisdom and you know the ceremonial Rites of Passage you know how does it how does the Modern Family say okay well you’re about to start feeling you know hormonal Energy’s how do we give you know create even if it’s just within their family or their Community yoga or whatever is something more than what’s being offered in the normal sex ed or what they’re listening in gangster rap music and watching on sitcoms obviously you know it’s enough for lack of lot of alternative options it’s one one place to look and we’re always looking for others so whenever we discover something then we will see to auditory resources and we are trying to vet those resources and those organizations to make sure that they really are you know at least there’s some some level of you know safe recommendation that we can give for those those organizations we’re not we’re not in the position to really kind of completely you know set standards but we are trying to we have a code of what we call it a cross-cultural protocol so we do look at that aspect that you have for what we’re talking about that’s you know if that’s another layer that we will hopefully get to eventually and I do know that there are people within our Network who are really strongly focused on this particularly around girls to women kind of education and and Rites of Passage and some of the Boys to Men once but I think it’s also something we need to to enhance as well oh that’s great yeah that’s that’s that’s what I wanted to hear so that I can just refer people to this ongoing and so and then the LSI is kind of its there’s a Facebook I’ve been interacting with the the Facebook group for a while so is that something you recommend people plug-in I mean that’s the goal of that is to feature blogs and generate discussions from those blogs and also to establish a resource of services as well as information and so that’s you know running on in a very limited volunteer capacity and so you know it’s something that I hope will eventually become a very powerful resource but already it’s you know it’s been feedback that I’ve received that you know even just the the group that we have on Facebook somebody posted recently. You know it’s really help them in their in their path which is nice to hear and I’ve heard that a few times and I try to curate that group in such a way where it’s like you know it’s trying to generate discussion and it’s it’s trying to be a safe space where where people can get into some of those I’m intimate revealing is of what what’s going on in their lives one of the things that kind of came out of love sex intelligence local as a connection with Tamara and the love school that they have which is a very congruence philosophy to love sex intelligence and they’re their work to try to create or with to create safe spaces for people to to share stories of what’s going on in their intimate lover sexual lives and and B witnessed in a way that is non-judgemental where they’re not being flooded with advice but more just being witnessed which is kind of connected to that whole framework for Rites of Passage itm witnessing each other and so it’s it’s trying to also look at how you know communities can succeed in their in their goals which might include you know like being more sustainable or being an alternative to the systems around us and also being a part of a more peaceful kind of culture through filling this hole that is often where things go wrong where people are are are not feeling safe to talk about these these human experiences around wounding around are our hearts and our sexuality so I’ve been part of a Practice Group here that has been circulating also to other parts of BC and I think it’s a really it’s a really powerful movement to be a part of yeah we’re getting close to an hour or so I have to take a few more minutes and I’m get a couple thoughts and feelings some responsible for 1 something that his is coming up for me that I think it’s really empowering is this like idea that wouldn’t it be nice if some of us started to think of ourselves as aspiring Elders I’ve never thought of it that way until this conversation and there’s a little spark of joy and me that that says you know puts in context the the punk rock lifestyle that I had of live fast Die Young and just you know if it’s not throwing yourself into the meat grinder of insurrectionary activism you know with this sort of Death Wish you know this martyr complex or whatever it’s like those are really unsustainable archetypes to follow and they leave a lot of people when they get to my age in about 35 like in a sort of existential crisis that will the revolution didn’t happen and I didn’t get killed I didn’t die in the gutter you know I mean what am I going to do now and it’s like well maybe it’s time to become an aspiring Elder and you know clean up your act and and then start to think about how you’re going to make it easier cuz I there’s a lot of things that I had to go through that I would seriously love to have no one else ever have to go through and if you know if we can live in that. you know that is what you’re supposed to think that I think of you say you know you can you can learn from the wisdom of Elders who have gone through and made the mistakes that you’re probably going to go through or you can just be hard-headed and learn all your lessons the hard way but I mean we’ve had to learn a lot of hard lessons in the absence of the eldership but I think if we take on that there’s a yeah me too. It seems obvious but really the way you put it his medicine for me to think you know it’s a dignified path to be an aspiring Elder and then it makes you not be so how do I can help you defeat that that that grinding pressure that oh my I’m going to lose my looks and I’m going to lose my energy and I’m going to be in the state of deprecation towards death and that’s very much the greatest fear of the western manicured Uno photoshopped airbrushed identity like you’re not really giving any hope that aging will be of any benefit in here just marginalized further and further so I thank you for that serve very much still give that time sacred eldership dignity not a light title to hold I think the true Elder wouldn’t really feel comfortable in it cuz it’s defining attributes of an elder that is really one that can help that role be the best it can be is one that is is really accountable is really present isn’t so on the move that if you can’t you know be relied upon to be there for the people that it serves now needs to ideally be in the in the fellowship of other Elders to kind of keep it in in in check in a way like we have to watch for the Cole group kind of phenomenon where people you know place a lot of weight on that person and in a way that can privilege them in certain ways and also lead to potential like power distortions and things like that you know it’s it’s only human that people will make mistakes and so having that kind of accountability of other people and also that time yeah you have people heart or a different there’s always like in every phase of life with the lifecycle there’s there’s like the maturing phases and so there’s like you know there’s a baby elder there’s enough adult Elder and then Senior Elder and so it’s just we have to learn at each stage of Life how to become the mature version of what that stage is and says just something to think about as well and it’s good to to get your feet wet early on in life so that you know we can have deep roots and and the and those are the kinds of people to like in the Tamara situation out of the black community they have a circle of Elders who are basically people who have grown with a community enough that they know the people in their community and then they serve a role as potential kind of like the Matchmaker but you know in a way where people can approach them in and ask them like you know I’m interested in this person and they can help you assess whether this is the right time or what is a good or bad idea and you know they can kind of that. Whole courtship in a way that you know really I think I wish there were more of those people around here don’t you let me relax you know learn the hard way what does that we’re just not compatible certain people in The Matrix the I mean yeah I’m not I’m not a political scientist of the Matrix but I will say that what got me peaked on the ecstatic trance dance group ritual ceremony festival thing was it really when I saw I think it was maybe the second movie or maybe it was the second or the third but there was a scene where they’re just getting down to like Juno Reactor I think was a soundtrack of a butt there is something beautiful about seeing the different the warrior culture Guided by elders and of course there’s different the archetypes playing out in Conflict split that to me was took it further than then the Star Trek Federation is a futuristic Elder guided Council guided kind of reality so that was kind of fun but yeah so that’s what came to mind when you’re at we’re talking about that be so cool if you’re early sexual oracle’s who you go to you know if we’re going to give you insights and maybe even have name your child for you or something cool like that you know be so cool but right on then will I worry about at the hours so do you have any closing touch you want to share or any other resources or should we just I’ll post the the links that you mention and I’ll definitely encourage people to stay informed and keep an eye out for your anything coming up you have any appearances or anything exciting like that coming up you want to mention I think yeah I think I covered a lot of it and I just wanted to maybe plant a seed while I have the airwaves here about something that I’d I’d eventually like to work on presenting which is around insert Intercultural relationships and also decolonizing our relationships as well and just thinking about how how we can heal some of these ancestral traumas and use that has as as a means to strengthen our relationships and also our society right on I’ll be looking forward to everything that you’re you’re expressing in the world and I hopefully yeah maybe sometime in the future we can talk about skill sets for Beyond Christian monogamy that would be a great topic so yeah how would you feel about that maybe we can sometime in the next few months follow up with something like that. Maybe by the by the time I’ll have more of a personal lived experience to a base conversation around that I think you know in terms of people who are already I don’t know how many listeners here are on a Christian spiritual path without that many but if the energy and gnosticism and sacred marriage not going to the alchemical top in the in the Gnostic tradition but I I wouldn’t make any claims to be an expert in that area but it’s definitely something to look at cool alright then we will be in touch and will follow up sometime in the future and thank you so much so be I really enjoyed it and I know it’s taking us a while to get this to get this done but I think it was perfect and I couldn’t ask for anything more so you have a wonderful day. Take care and keep for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and if you want a podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been at Contra Punk. Com Thomas Day