Tag Archives: kundalini

Tantric Parenting and Fierce Womanhood with Rhoda Shapiro TPP213


Rhoda Shapiro Pic

In this episode I’m joined by my first tantra teacher Rhoda Shapiro for an exploration of her new book and her perspectives on tantric parenting and motherhood. We’ve been intending to do a podcast for quite a while and it quickly became clear that this was the perfect time and well worth the wait. It was a great honor to be able to transmit her wealth of knowledge and high vibe energy through the podcast.

It was a blessing to get a behind-the-book perspective on her evolution as a writer, leader of women’s circles, mother, actress, and much more. I truly believe her book will connect with a wide audience and do wonders to raise the tantric vibration world-wide.

It was very timely for her to be on the show to provide insight and advice for conscious tantric parenting and motherhood. The questions she answered came straight from a new mom listener who will be adapting and applying the empowering information immediately.

Time flew and we agreed we’ll have to schedule more podcast adventures soon to provide a broader overview on her personal development leading up to her book, explore tantric birthing, and much more!

For a more in depth perspective on my appreciation for her role in my tantric path, please listen to my podcast where I share an essay I wrote in her praise:

Words of Praise for my First Tantra Initiatrix Rhoda Shapiro TPP154

About Rhoda:

Rhoda Shapiro has worked for a decade as a tantric educator, training women to step into their power by way of meditation, movement, dance, expression, and yoga. She has facilitated women’s circles and taught workshops throughout Los Angeles and in the San Francisco Bay Area. Rhoda’s YouTube channel, which has amassed thousands of subscribers, features yogic practices to empower both men and women. Rhoda is also the Founder/Editor-in-Chief of The Milpitas Beat, a Silicon Valley-based newspaper. She lives in the Bay Area with her husband, Eric, and their two sons. She is the author of Fierce Woman: Wake up your Badass Self, which was just released by Llewellyn Publications.

Book Links:


Sex, Drugs & Mostly Yoga with Kara Leah Grant TPP211


Kara Leah Grant Pic

Photo by Pete Longworth

In this episode I’m joined by a brave and courageous tantrika who shares a love for psychedelic spirituality and has been on a path of evolution set in motion by powerful transcendent drug experiences.

She shares her intense story of spiritual growing pains, navigating love and relationships, tantric initiation, and ultimately owning her power to teach and transmit the practices of tantra.

We talk about the differences between Yoga and yoga, the role of asanas and tantric practices in the path of self-realization and liberation, neo-tantra vs. classical tantra,  the role of psychedelics in aging and maturing spiritual practice, the interplay between the chakra system, the nervous system, and the endocrine system, the intersections of biomedical science and tantric art and science, and much more!

About Kara-Leah:

Born and raised in New Zealand, Kara-Leah is an internationally-renowned retreat leader, teacher and author. She has impacted millions of people over the last decade through her articles, books, videos and teaching. Passionate about liberation in this lifetime, Kara-Leah practices and teaches an every day path of awakening – the path of the Awakened Heart Warrior. This path is grounded in Tantra and focuses on dissolving layers of the conditioned mind into deeper and deeper heart-felt presence. Kara-Leah’s work, through her teaching, writing and retreats, focuses on using the process of compassionate inquiry to reveal conditioned mind, and so help people to drop down into being-ness and presence. She is the author of two previous books, Forty Days of Yoga and The No-More-Excuses Guide to Yoga. She can often be found dancing in her living room for no reason at all.

Website: http://karaleah.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/karaleahgrant/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karaleahgrant/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRVrL82Cv0H0tQzFrhuH2RA?

Rock Your Cock with Evolved Masculine Coach and Tantric Punk Larry Fredrick TPP207


Larry Fredrick picIn this episode I’m joined by Larry Fredrick a highly experienced and accomplished evolved masculine coach. He shares the intimate details of his journey of personal growth through the catharsis of the early punk rock movement, transcending a failing marriage, getting into self-help, pick-up artistry, and ultimately a diverse array of spiritual and sexual mastery programs.

He has a down-to-earth perspective on learning and teaching practical self-improvement skill sets for men. With over 10 years of advanced training and practice he’s developed the “Rock Your Cock” program for men to really step into their power from a place of heart-centered, mindful, and spiritual consciousness.

I was most intrigued by his stories of experiencing authentic traditional tantric initiation in the jungles of India and his explanation of how he’s been able to adapt the teachings and apply them in his own love and sex life, as well as transmit the teachings to his students.

It was a deep honor and pleasure to have this opportunity to speak with a fellow rocker who’s living the dream as a tantric punk, has worked directly with many of my heroes, and who embodies forms of tantric magic that you can’t learn from books alone.

About Larry:

Larry Fredrick is an award winning international educator. He’s also a sex coach;
licensed and certified in Erotic Blueprints, Sexological bodywork, Neurolinguistic
Programming, Hypnotherapy, and Somatic Sex Education.

Larry works with men who want to clearly find and express their desires so they can
feel empowered in finding passion, pleasure, and juicy hot sex. He has traveled the
globe, from the mountains of Peru to Tantric temples in the jungles of India, training
with some of the top names in the fields of self transformation and sexual education
including Jaiya Ma, David Deida, Michaela Boehm, Destin Gerek, Satyen Raja and Joseph

From having issues with erectile dysfunction, performance and social skills, to
becoming a multi-orgasmic man with the skills and techniques of a confident lover,
Larry helps men step into their full erotic power so they can have more confidence in
the bedroom and in their relationships.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/embody.awakening.1
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/embodyawakening/
Website: http://www.embody-awakening.com/

Sexorcism the Tantric Opera Episode 12 “Chakral Thrusts: A Non-Invasive Demonectomy”

This video documents an assisted kundalini shakti activation whereby the upward spiraling energy effectively dislodges and squeezes demonic chakral parasites up and out through the central channel nadi without the need for penetration.

An Academic Overview of Tantra with Dr. Thomas Clough Daffern TPP196


Dr. Thomas Clough Daffern Pic
In this episode I’ve been blessed with permission to publish my favorite Tantric scholar Dr. Thomas Clough Daffern’s lecture called An Academic Overview of Tantra. I discovered his epic video a few years ago and felt it to be the most comprehensive yet accessible single unit of tantric teaching I’d yet found. It’s truly a universally compelling thesis that continues to passionately move me to share his work. I consider this piece to be one of the single most important prerequisites for any modern student of the tantric arts. He takes us on a geographic, historical, and philosophical adventure.

You can listen to our previous podcast here:

Please visit his websites at:

About Thomas:

Dr. Thomas Clough Daffern B.A. (Hons.) PGCE. D.SC. (Hon), PhD. is a philosopher, historian, teacher, poet, author, lecturer, musician, thinker, educator, consultant and peace studies specialist. His academic background includes degrees in European and world history (with political philosophy) and religious education, plus a long period of intense personal study in philosophy, religion and the history of ideas – together with over 30 years teaching experience in the same fields. He has also trained and practised in conflict management within communities and schools, specialising in multifaith and multicultural mediation. He is also a trained and experienced teacher in secondary schools, specialising in philosophy, religious education, history and citizenship studies. He was awarded his PhD from the University of London for a thesis which explores the history of the search for peace from 1945-2001 and which proposes a new field of historiography, Transpersonal History, as the best way to establish a rigorous discourse on peace among rival and contending spiritual and intellectual traditions, currently battling for hegemony on the planet. He is an expert in research techniques and methodologies on all aspects of history, religious studies, the history of world philosophy and transpersonal psychology. He has lectured in peace studies, philosophy and religious studies for many years at the Universities of London and Oxford, and has spoken twice at the UN Headquarters about the role of Universities in changing the climate of fear and violence on the planet to one of trust and wisdom-seeking. He is a founder and coordinator of International Philosophers and Historians for Peace and has worked with philosophers and intellectuals from many countries worldwide to help establish intellectual and spiritual networks for peace and goodwill. In 1990 he was elected in Moscow as Coordinator of International Philosophers for Peace, a specialist body of philosophers worldwide searching for peace and international understanding.

He is Director of the International Institute of Peace Studies and Global Philosophy (IIPSGP) which works across many academic fields to bring together all those with an interest in and a commitment towards the study of peace and philosophy on all levels of the personal and global and to applying the qualities of love and wisdom to the resolution of the problems and tensions of today’s world. IIPSGP arose out of a feasibility study which Thomas undertook for the University of London into the proposed establishment of an Institute of Peace Studies (from 1989-1992). IIPSGP now operates as an autonomous Institute with members scattered worldwide. Thomas is also Founder of The Global Green University, which has arisen from the work of IIPSGP and was launched in 2000 as a pilot project in complementary higher education, to bring into being a new global higher education initiative which can provide space for the deeper kind of learning which we believe is needed at this time of critical transition in the history of planet earth.

Thomas has developed long term educational programmes to widen understanding of the causes of conflict and approaches to peace and to assist social and cultural development. He has also created, (in association with the Gandhi Foundation and the World Conference on Religion and Peace), the Multifaith and Multicultural Mediation Service. The M.M.M.S. is the first mediation service to specialise in disputes in which issues of faith and/or culture are present. He has also served as an educational adviser to numerous organisations including the UN and UNESCO. He has travelled widely in India and has visited 8 times, travelling throughout the country and meeting academics and spiritual seekers. He has extensive knowledge of Indian religious and philosophical teachings and has proposed the formation of an Indian Union Mediation Service to prevent conflicts in the entire sub-continent. He is a lay member of the Anglican Church, as well as a practicing Druid elder, Qabalist, Sufi, Yogi, Tantric and universal mystic with an extensive knowledge of all world religious and philosophical traditions. He served as educational director of the Gandhi Foundation with the late Surur Hoda, and as Secretary General of the World Conference on Religions and Peace (UK and Ireland) from 1990-1997 attending and contributing to many of its international conferences in Rome, Vienna, Sweden and Paris. As an ecumenical esotericist and universal mystic, he has also spoken at Theosophical, Anthroposophical and other esoteric organisations and networks worldwide, and helped convene the Network of Wisdom Schools at the Theosophical Society headquarters in London in 2000 for Sancta Sophia Seminary. He has spoken in Edinburgh to the Edinburgh International Festival For Middle Eastern Spirituality and Peace on several occasions, running a workshop there on the Esoteric Dimensions of Peacemaking in the Middle East, focused on his book The Qabalah Runes. He has lectured in the USA on various occasions, including at Sancta Sophia Seminary, as well as at Findhorn in Scotland and the Edinburgh and Israeli Theosophical Society.

Please visit his websites at:

Proof of Love Ep. 7 Tantric Sex with Ben Tantra Punk Rebroadcast TPP193


Ben Tantra Punk PicIn this episode I share a rebroadcast of my interview on the Proof of Love podcast, below is the original show notes, please subscribe to Proof of Love!

What can one say about a crypto tantric episode other than wow.  This is our spiciest Proof of Love yet! Ben Tantra Punk joined Stephanie and I to discuss this ancient practice.  In between a few laughs and blushes, we get a great overview of tantric lovemaking, how it’s different from regular lovemaking, the history of why there is tantric sex in the first place, and the joys of the female orgasm.  We went a bit over on time, but I don’t think you will mind with this subject matter! We need more love in our lives, and this episode will show you how to put some of these teachings into practice, even if calling each other goddess in bed is a little uncomfortable.

About the Guests:

Ben Tantra Punk is a sex worker, feminist porn performer, certified permaculture designer, certified tantric counselor, author, film maker, and recording artist. He’s found healing and empowerment through sacred loving arts, ecological gardening, shamanism, ecstatic trance dancing, martial arts, and open source technology. His ongoing independent short film series, Sexorcism the Tantric Opera, was launched in early 2017. It tells his story of recovery from childhood sexual trauma, adolescent sex trafficking, and the path of a wounded healer. His first book, Psychedelic Goddess Worship: Erotic Memoirs from the Astral Battlefield, is planned for release in late 2019.

He loves to help tantric seekers discover the infinite source of divine love from above, the eternal power and wisdom from the Earth below, and the bliss of conscious, healthy, diverse romantic relationships in between. He provides private coaching and counseling sessions online and in-person, and teaches publicly via livestream on the Ethereum powered SpankChain camsite at: https://beta.spankchain.com/TantraPunk His writings, music, podcasts, videos and contact info can be found at https://www.TantraPunk.com.

Do you have a burning question, or a show idea for us?  Please email us at tatiana@proofoflovecast.com!

TPP151 Solo Tantra Self Love Ritual


This episode is the audio track from a video I released a couple of years ago that demonstrates a solo self love ritual based on tantric principles and practices. In the video I explain and show how to treat yourself the way you’d want to be treated by a lover, or how you’d want to treat a lover. Giving yourself adequate time, care, nurturing, whole body touch and massage, sacred set and setting, and more. The emphasis is on the practice of sexual energetic cultivation and directing orgasmic energy up to and through each of the seven major chakras. The intention is to activate, energize, and “tune-up” the chakras with the application of loving attention and orgasmic energy. Please be warned this is for mature individuals only, I have heard from those who’ve watched and followed along with the video that it has been beneficial for all genders.

Here is the video link for those who’d like to watch


Beyond the Neo Vs. Classical Tantra Duality with Triambika TPP83


Triambika picIn this episode I’m blessed to be able to explore the great works of Triambika Ma Vive and her masterful synthesis of neo and classical tantra. We discuss how to translate the esoteric principles of ancient tantra into modern cross-cultural interfaith language, theory and practice.

About Triambika:

“Playboy TV’s #1 Tantric Expert”

Triambika is an internationally recognized seminar leader, professional sex and conscious intimacy coach and the founder of The Ecstatic Awareness Institute.
She has guided thousands of men and women to empower their sexuality, by helping them to release shame, gain confidence, learn to have extraordinary sex, experience exceptional stamina and create healthier relationships.

Her powerful work with singles and couples have been featured on the Playboy channel, Personal Life Media, Source Tantra, Gilad Creative Media and as the lead host and emcee for the International Sex and Consciousness Conferences.

Triambika brings her depth, intuition, passion and magnetism to her work. Harnessing her extensive training and practice with the time-honored tradition of Tantra, human sexuality, non-dual spirituality, masculine and feminine dynamics, NLP, and body-based modalities including yogic therapy and bodywork, she helps her clients to reach authentic sexual freedom and to form fulfilling relationships that support the highest expression of who they are.

Based in Southern California, Triambika works globally guiding men and women everyday to lead a more empowered and authentic sexual life.

Being a seasoned practitioner and educator of sacred sexuality, Triambika also offers practitioner trainings for sexual healers and women’s sensual empowerment courses throughout the United States, Australia and Europe.

Guided by her resolute purpose to provide intelligent, accessible and unforgettable education, she is enthusiastically committed to coaching with compassion, fun and individualized attention.

Please visit her website at:

Exorcism in the Ancient World with Tony Mierzwicki TPP60


tony-mierzwicki-pic In this episode I am joined by the distinguished esoteric scholar Tony Mierzwicki for a discussion about exorcism in the ancient world. Our exploration leads to a brainstorming session on the potential to modernize and standardize demonology with clinical laboratory experimentation.

To learn more about Tony and his great works please visit: www.hermeticmagick.net

Tony’s Bio:

Tony has been practicing ceremonial magick since 1990. He has been running regular workshops and rituals recreating ancient magickal practices in the United States and on the east coast of Australia since 2001.

Tony Mierzwicki is the author of “Graeco-Egyptian Magick: Everyday Empowerment” and a forthcoming primer reconstructing Classical Greek religion, “Hellenismos: Practicing Greek Polytheism Today”. He has contributed to various anthologies and magazines. He gives regular guest appearances and lectures at various pagan, witchcraft and new age events, as has been on television and radio shows.

Tony has completed three degrees at the University of Sydney – Master of Arts, Bachelor of Engineering and Bachelor of Science. He served a three-year term on the Board of Directors for Cherry Hill Seminary from August 29, 2008 to September 30, 2011, of which roughly half was in the capacity of Secretary. Tony is originally from Sydney, Australia and currently lives with his with his black Labrador, Anubis. in Huntington Beach California.

Kali’s Love Deflowers the Desolate Male Ego with Ryan TPP59


Kali in Union with Shiva In this episode I have the deep and profound honor of sharing one of what I hope will be many “Kali Monologues” from those who have experienced revelation and salvation with Goddess Kali. This first guest narrative by my new dear friend Ryan provides heart wrenching and warming insight into the process of self-initiation through psychedelic goddess worship. I was brought to tears as I read his first email to me, I asked if he’d be willing to record his story so I could share it on the show. Please enjoy and allow these words of liberation and redemption to motivate you to transcend your ego and all negative influences internal and external that intend to bring you down. Never forget the eternal divine feminine love ever awaiting your courage to seek her dancing embrace.

I also answer a listener  question about the interplay of drugs and spirituality. I offer my guidance for best practices, and it couldn’t be better timing that the question came in and is the prelude to Ryan’s story of psychedelic goddess worship.

Please help support the show by making a one-time or recurring donation. In addition to helping sustain and improve the show, you’ll be helping to establish permaculture goddess temples that provide ecological employment for single mothers.


Seeking the Heart of Tantra with Nirmala Nataraj TPP57


Nirmala pic In this episode I am joined by Nirmala Nataraj. I discovered her great works in a search for a teaching on the symbology within the Kali Yantra and found her article.

She has graciously blessed the podcast by sharing her story of personal transformation through Tantra and Goddess Kali worship. She holds sacred space for me to share some of my revelations and research and generously provides validation of and guidance for many of my most controversial discoveries.

Together we weave a mutually affirming narrative of personal healing and spiritual growth through our devotion to Kali. We emphasize the need for preparation, care, and caution when approaching her might and magic. We also encourage listeners to find supportive fellowship as they rediscover and reinvent Kali’s vast primordial irrepressible nature.

Nirmala shares a description of the Kali Yantra and conducts a devotional guided meditation using the Yantra.

We close with a brief discussion on sexual healing and empowerment through tantra and she offers some great advice for individuals and couples to break through repressive cultural conditioning and reclaim the power and beauty of sacred love making.

Please connect with Nirmala and access her services via her websites:

About Nirmala:

I’m Nirmala Nataraj, a San Francisco Bay Area-based Desire Guru and Taboo Slayer (and you can find me at my day job here)!

Sacred Fire Desire Coaching is my way of connecting directly with those who want to embody their truth. My wish to expand people’s repertoire of tools and resources through creative problem-solving is paramount in my approach. I especially love to work with people to clear some of the obstacles that keep them from expressing their deepest truths—obstacles such as shame, past experiences of trauma, and the inability to embrace and integrate every last part of themselves.

For me, healing is something that happens when we are willing to wrestle our demons…and then become their friends (which also happens to be a recurring theme in my writing). I’m also interested in inspiring my clients to view relationships, intimacy, and sexuality as viable and rigorous paths to personal development and purpose.

My training background includes the OneTaste Coaching Program, the Co-Active Coach Training Program, and the Bay Area Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Immersion Program.

We Demand Shamanic Pornography TPP54


tpp-54-pic In this episode I’m joined by M.F.P. and we discuss the need for a shamanic revolution in the porn industry. I read my press release introducing a new “shamanic porn” genre starting with the recent release of the Tantradelic Exorgasm music video.

I break down the meaning behind the title and lyrics of the track and I provide an intensive intro to sexual and psychedelic shamanology.

Tantra and Punk with Mark Michaels TPP19


tp-mark-michaelsThis episode is a conversation with Mark A. Michaels (Swami Umeshanand Saraswati), an old-school east coast punk rocker who’s been initiated into a traditional tantra lineage and has been co-authoring books and teaching tantra with his beloved wife for many years.

We discuss the complementary aspects of the punk rock movement and the tantric path of consciousness expansion and personal, spiritual, and erotic empowerment.

For more information and to connect with Mark please go to:

Read his great essay on tantra and punk here: http://tantrik.blogspot.com/2007_06_01_archive.html

Tantra Punk Turns Fighters into Lovers TPP18


amaranth-tantra-punkIn this episode I read an article I wrote several years ago describing my first tantra workshop in Los Angeles where I experienced the power of divine feminine and masculine energy in a guided group dancing ritual.
I discovered ancient sources of empowerment that energized my revolutionary punk spirit.

Sharing Kundalini Virginity TPP01


ThisVID00057 is the first podcast episode, I thought it would be nice to share a recap discussion I had with the woman with whom I shared my kundalini virginity several years ago. We talk about experiencing the chakras, multiple orgasms, ecstatic trance dance, kundalini energy and more.

Click here to read transcription

Sharing Kundalini Virginity TPP01 Transcript


Please note this is a machine generated transcript, as time and resources allow it will be revised and updated. Thanks for your patience and understanding!

Oh hello dear beloved’s this is the Tantra punk podcast thank you for joining me this is the first episode and I decided it would be fun to start with a old discussion I had with a one of my most beloved and dear true love partners when we both shared our Kundalini virginity with each other and had an amazing multi orgasmic evening together that was so mind-blowing we had to we had to make a an audio recording to archive how amazing it was so I’m sharing that with you hope you enjoy it I apologize for the sound quality of the original recording and I put in some sort of mellow mild loops in the background to help smooth that out so hope you enjoy it and I will be publishing more soon thank you not a stiff the intention was that I wanted to be able to know where we were together our relationship was together and where it was where it was going so I wanted to see a path of where we were going in the future whether that be to remain to be close and lovers or whether that was to be friends or two in at least a different different area option that we could have pursued and so you know I just wanted to kind of see a light and there was no wrong answer like everything was ok everything was welcomed I felt very open to what that would be so that was my intention just have a vision of what what was to happen for I snacks and I agreed and shared the intention we did a little bit of smudging with some sage and began the first tantric exercise the breast massage which involves slow gentle circular cupping kept circular motions with the giver sitting behind the receiver was the receiver Lang laying into them text and the goal is to saturate the role of the giver is to provide a very nurturing comforting like nest to fall into and two movies tension into and be fully comfortable to allow the best massage to open the shark the heart chakra and really begin just opening up the center of female stored energy and I just learned the other day which just seems obvious but it was well put that women hold a lot of energy on their heart and men hold water energy in the genitals and that can either be you know frustrated like heartbreak energy or frustrated sexually a blue ball sexual desire energy but I definite or could be what whatever whatever the state of that energy is definitely true that that’s how it seems to work so it makes sense that it’s important to do work to allow that to open up that energy let it flow through the experience and have make sure it’s like turned on and for the male that has to be so it’s not just short circuited with a immediate ejaculation upon minimal contact the stimulation has to be woken up and consciously circulated before or to really get it to flow properly so anyway the do you want describe how the yeah I was when we first started I think I felt slightly awkward in just a little bit because I I wasn’t I didn’t know what to expect as far as like my heart chakra opening up because i felt like it was kind of like a besides I’m really Gotham is like a rusty cage good felt I felt kind of I thought cobwebs all over the place and and you started and it actually it I mean it took some time I take some time but eventually it started to lighten up and I started filling this you know this green beam coming from um between my breasts and I felt like I started to feel like I was starting to recognize that it was clearing up and then there was a moment where I mean because we’ve been doing this for some time and you stopped and you said you would you like to set up now and I thought about it for a second and it was it felt premature and I told you that I was just um I felt like it was just starting to work so it was really neat to feel where where when you stopped where I could assess you know how I was feeling at that moment and compare it to where i was when i started and then and then we started again and I kind of you know was able to kind of like play with that a little bit to feel where the range was I could feel it like regress a little bit when you stop and then when you start it again it you know I started to be able to open up again and and just kept going with opening it up and then the next step led to it just continuously like for the rest of night it wasn’t even an issue to try to make sure that my heart chakra was up where my heart was open to you it was it was open for the rest of the night pull on so that was my experience with the technique wonderful uh I felt very fully present I never felt as prison ever my life like that really brought down the whole attention and awareness into the moment and to the into the body into our bodies in a shared energy field and that centering technique made me think about what I the work I have been doing with Rhoda and her Tantra glow meditation meetups that we were doing over the last over the several times over the last over the over the year I I got to participate in it was it was all clothed you know just totally not explicitly sexual activity of any kind just meditation and pluck employing certain dimensions of tantric disciplines like root locks and PC pumping and entered you know incorporating awareness of genital energy and circulating energy through breath and all that stuff and just you know as compared to normal yoga where you are yoga that doesn’t explicitly incorporate like that form of training and one of the things that we would do is she would instruct us to be in lotus position and began making tiny sort of imagine there being like a tip of a spoon at the base of our spine you know it’s a root chakra and imagine that we’re stirring our root chakra with this spoon as slowly as possible in circles and like you doing that definitely seemed to begin to activate the release of the Kundalini coil and the just that I think the real power that connects your size is it just gets the slower you me slow circles like really kind of act like a vortices to get your all of your attention to flow into the point of now and like you know to have to it’s like focusing on the breath but it’s even more requires more attention than just focusing on the breath if you’re making these perfect revolutions that are like Tang in each part of its tiny so I was just thinking about that as it’s doing it I wasn’t I was moving pretty slowly but just realizing that you’re basically creating like a funnel for your attention and it’s very good technique so that’s this Mike what I was focusing on thinking about what’s that the aspect of it and definitely feeling the it being effective at opening and so next we faced each other fully undressed and did the holding cupping the genitals crosswise and pressing against the heart listen up with the other hand crosswise and then having eye contact and breathing we kind of naturally synchronized our breaths ever kind of unconsciously effortlessly it was just sort of flow we were doing we were doing a bit of the curving of the spine as the breath comes up here now and that was as where I was starting to definitely feel like the snapping together and locking in if like the piping that was connecting our chakras and stuff like especially with the heart like I could feel I could feel when the connection was like not snapped right if it wasn’t enough pressure or wasn’t in the right place i could feel could feel how it was fading or flowing so i would miss brittany and we were pretty much from this exercise it was pretty neat evolved into goddess position intercourse very very slowly very incremental E and very unconsciously just the this the writhing together became ultimately this almost effortless Union I think if we would have been on a flatter surface it would have been it would have been as if our genitals like sort of squirmed into each other without our manual help but we do have to use something you could mean because the bedding is really soft so the alignment was someone constructed but uh it was I felt like a continuous energy flow the way that things were shaped was kind of like an infinity sign and so I actually with my mind just kind of I felt like I could grab on to a piece of energy and just follow the whole flow all the way through my body all the way through your body thought the whole thing about you know going going up and into my arm going down to you know up into my chest and down to my torso and you know back out through my hand and into your genitals and then you know having that go up through you and after your torso and coming out through your arm and into my genitals and like how he was continuous type of I could just trace this energy all the way through Sophie yeah a circuit and and that was a really that was a really great exchange and you’re right but you know and I didn’t have my hand in the right spot you you did a like you would adjust it for me or have it you know be where it was supposed to be and it’s just the amount of pressure and the way that we were breathing made everything even more harmonious and even more just everything just called so well you know that’s that’s how I felt about it and actually I mean then yes so there was the the cupping and but that was like with an intention of like note not necessarily we’re not you weren’t really trying to stimulate one another at that point you know it was just like you know without you no intentional stimulation and so it was mostly about energy work but then we took it to a different step which was with stimulation so there was like two different steps and that you know and so that was that was intensified and that was it was a great transition into into intercourse for sure yeah yeah I forgot about that we did the solo masturbation with eye contact and then mutual masturbation with eye contact and and then we we came together in got his position and it was I I’ve been theorizing that that’s really the way to do it because you know without fail and every

individual knows how to turn themselves on with their own hands like so getting getting turned on getting ready for penetration and all that like man’s getting ready by getting hard you know woman’s getting ready by getting wet there’s no I think because people are conditioned to think that masturbation is bad they they think that it’s only okay for general touch to happen during sex if I you know by the other person and if that’s if you’re left to that then really you’re kind of driving blind so you have a solo masturbation warm up is it was great and then and then trading making going from that directly into a mutual state like I could like I realized I’m like man my point of leverage in my point of like the electrical feedback loop of like touch to sensation is going to be such a fraction of what you’re able to do you know I mean like tough like Here I am reaching over kind of i don’t i don’t know where you left off it’s kind of like I don’t know what I don’t know exactly like what pattern you were in or what rhythm you’re in or like what what you would exact what is that points you had like work yourself up to and another thing I learned recently in a sort of tantric theory stuff is it for for a man there’s no there’s no difficulty in locating the like center of the orgasmic stimulation or the center of the stimulation scent but for a woman it’s kind of ambient so it always changes I visualize like one of those electric crystal ball things where you have to put your fingers down in different places every time those points are going to be different it’s going to be different constellation of an episode of a female orgasm that encompasses a percentage of like every orgasm could be like calculated to have X percentage of g-spot stimulation in a ratio to cut oral stimulation and ratio to heart chakra integration all the sort of different content whole constellation of activated points that are being stimulated in some pattern to a point of where the orgasmic flow state is reached or the peak state or whatever is another one and has so beginning to do the you know take over on her genitals with the masturbation was like I could sense that like wow this is Sun it’s probably really good that you’re starting out like lighting up as much of that apparatus as possible because you because you’re able to follow the the pathways and no and control where they’re at and everything so and it felt great to be a have your hand stimulating me and yeah it was I was like sort of fading in and out of states of hardness I didn’t have any anxiety about her thoughts about it it seemed like it was kind of dynamically flowing with the experience and not being an issue like not even being really necessary when the level of the level of living I felt like by that time our entire body surface areas were Rajan it sounds like that was probably the the most surprising and amazing overall experience throughout the night was just the absolute non genital focus of where the energy was flowing and how like just the rocking of our bodies together was creating this like ecstatic blissful like full body orgasmic state I think indefinitely in me and it was so fulfilling that like the genital stimulation I was almost thinking like I’m gonna I want to spend you know years working up to like heavy full erect thrusting in the state because this is already like enough I’m already like satiated with just this like flaccid connected rocking gives me this ability to hold really like strong lock muscular positions without fatigue and without lactic acid buildup if it’s there it’s not perceived I’m able to like hold these contorted sexual positions and with like all all of this superhuman strength and like resilience and the the position or movement and like that the tight flexing of all my muscles in this rocking position and making circular movements and stuff it yeah it was like a similar to the kind of overall activation of muscle tone during the power/lock procedure of withholding ejaculation and having multiple male orgasms by sipping up the energy even when we were in like the in the states of like maximum hard stimulation and during intercourse for me it still never I never got to or near the point and of inevitability because I was so fully distributing that that energy throughout my whole body like it had just had really I mean and again I could have pursued that if and I’m like excited to continue to do that but I I felt like I felt like a lot of joy and taking this process incrementally and gradually doing more and more and just by I just felt very natural just to be embracing with all this energy and embracing energy and rocking the energy leaving lots and lots of possibility for like really wild extreme stimulation to to unfold in yeah what do you think about my flaccid penis well initially look I think that we started off with which is important for me because I do feel very like lesbian tendencies like I feel very very bi gay queer you know I feel very clear that’s the best word to use for myself and so so when we started off it was you know very you know oral and manual stimulation so it was uh so there was this amazing time and that felt like hours of this type of let’s type of pleasure and um and I experienced some of the most amazing deep orgasms I I feel like I had maybe thirty five orgasms internally just maybe more I mean I could’ve I I felt like I was having an orgasm on like an incident vibration like on an infinite note or something and and it yeah that was that was amazing and then after that is when we started to have intercourse with our genitals and you’re absolutely right I mean every every part of my body at that point was so reciprocate look like that yes I Raja nice it was so sensual I could kiss you for hours and feel really amazing and in bliss and connected and sexual and orgasmic even just just like kissing i shouldnt suggest kissing I mean it was like it was amazing he’s kissing you know and so having genital contact at all yeah with a flaccid penis or not because it wasn’t like you were me you were soft all the whole time you were hard and you would go in and out would be soft sometimes and and it was um it didn’t matter at all um I could keep and we just we were in this rhythm where we just were we were in it together and this like orgasmic zone for five hours of being there and so yeah it didn’t it didn’t relieves the burdens it’s so important I realizing that doing this whole body slow build-up full stimulation it relieves if it make it makes me kind of just flash my head like if you’re a couple that does not do all this elaborate you know foundation building then the female is essentially only reliant on the the hardness of the penis and its ability to hopefully stimulate the inner g spot side of the wall because that’s you know like it’s like if that’s all you’re if that’s all you’re connected the only point of connection you really have like your hearts aren’t really connected like you’re not really doing much else with your hands maybe you’re kissing and stuff but I certainly connected like you’re not really doing much else with your hands maybe you’re kissing and stuff but like you’re you’re ever both of your consciousness is focused on just the interaction between the grinding of the I think mainly it’s it’s yeah yeah just said quote genital focus and that that orgasm race I don’t yeah like none of that it was as if I mean to me it was as if we didn’t even know what orgasms were and that we were just like coming together for the first time in our bodies like without any expectation about what would happen we just went follow these currents of energy and so yeah I became very de-emphasize like where the stimulation exactly was coming from we just followed wherever it felt like it was was meant to go and surreal release of anxiety for for typical masculinity to be able to them know that you’re being just as as stimulating through heart space and touch and caresses and you know that so going back to the the kind of language section I was very creating a realm of where all that exists is this this vaginal entity and this oral entity and it would you know synchronizing them and the fingers and the g-spot and felt like I was a create an entire cosmos out of any of any anything you want to look at it flower you know you know you’re the wall lifer whatever catches your fancy huh and really allows you to transcend the monkey my name is the ultimate it is I mean you know there’s so much debate and controversy in the psychedelic community and the spiritual yogic tradition community and Alan Watts talks about it and Timothy Leary and everybody know it’s like it’s not a short path to enlightenment it’s not it’s a very very difficult arduous like demanding you know technique for ecstasy and enlightenment and accessing the divine and whatnot but one thing it one thing it definitely does seem to do very easily is like allow you allow an individual to transcend the thought stream and the thought stream is what breaks up your concentration your focus on what you’re doing so that’s why people love rock climbing playing music writing or painting all these things you’re in that flow state and the monkey mind and the thought stream is sort of you like break out of that of the gravitational field of that mind that part of the mind and you’re able to orbit get in break through and just orbit effortlessly in in a freer mental space so that was that was great i was able to I mean I’ve do that I’ve when we were in our least energized and most mechanical date you know we live together I would be problem solving in my mind at during Colin Fennelly it seemed like okay I can I can multitask here all right cool so I see I’m going to solve this problem solve that problem and meanwhile mechanically yes and stimulating you and your you’re getting

candy sex is it because it was cold and I didn’t really understand at that point my evolution what wasn’t necessarily hundred percent fulfilling about that pregnant I do one more point about that being able to fully create and immerse myself into the cosmos if just that interaction of organs visualizing myself as having that that flicking fast speed of an insect like sucking nectar you know from flower I could be he or something like when you see them under you know microscopy you see them like super fast cameras they have now you see like this the speed at which their electrical unit like their apparatus is able to move and like the just this it’s like six so exquisitely program the way that they move in so I was just channeling that and flowing with that and like you know trying to be a beautiful be dragonfly kneeling exactly kind of lingus giver and I though I thought of the worst-hit be annoyed because it’s like I’ve always felt that the sybian was a you know nothing could be transcended the power of the sybian but I’ve had an experience with the sybian before and it was I mean it actually wasn’t I mean I I don’t know a lot of people a lot of women have disagreed with me but I didn’t I didn’t fully enjoy it I remember feeling like it was too like at you know I I don’t know oh jeez mechanical isn’t mechanically it’s a you know it’s machine I remember feeling um I I don’t I think it took me a long time to have an orgasm I think I felt kind of uncomfortable on it and I just yeah I wasn’t I wasn’t feeling it I mean eventually I did I mean I a sybian as a friend of mine but it’s not like my best friend you know and so so yeah but with with this experience and it transcended like any type of city and experience I’ve ever had and it was more of course a lot more intimate and because like I was such an a climactic buildup of like a sexuality sensuality every little tiny touch every little kiss every little the short like the shoulders on my body at the top of my head like everywhere where my normally not be such like an essential places to touch echo you touch a woman shoulders who they’re going to make her orgasm probably probably not but it but I was I was definitely there in that state where that was the case so having that that’s only something that could happen with the heart connection to me to bring up that what the reason i thought about is I thought about ok why why can’t a human penis or human mouth or human hand like compete with the sybian both of them run on electrical energy both of them have mechanical moving parts what what is it that makes the human fail and it’s like it’s it’s the mental blockage it’s the fatigue I was able to like focus energy focus on creating patterns and then just execute them almost infinitely like it I felt like I felt like I could have gone forever that was an important piece and then I guess maybe the next thing is i would like to mention the evolution of the music which felt very well i often find that i’m setting up a playlist before you know there seems to be some sort of guidance system and some sort of intelligence guidance that’s happening because i felt like it was very choreographed the unfolding experience who started out with the blade runner soundtrack which is super we started out with a couple of psy trance tunes wind and then then we began like the rituals really with them Blade Runner which is super ambient cyberpunk futuristic stuff which really brought us down into that kind of down tempo rhythm and then when we started to lose the time of a certain type to get into intercourse the theatre of Tragedy stuff came on which definitely gave us that rocking power cord thrusting action and and then I was very sitting so that the choreography light when we switch positions for the well forget the Kama Sutra name for it but it’s the my favorite position for my stimulation at my fruit but my physical or my my penile stimulation and my visual and sort of heart stimulation I like to be on I like for a woman to lay on her stomach and for me to be on her back and I can I can stand up on my on my arms to see my favorite part of the body the booty much as I want and I can lay back down and have our bodies be like fully connected from head to toe and also the just the mechanics of the interaction between the penis and vagina at that angle is conducive to maximum g-spot stimulation and it’s just and deeper more full penetration and so I was loving that and then it went into my favorite psychedelic death metal band from the early 90s which is the band cynic which is all about transcendent all their songs are about hindu philosophy and stuff and they’ve got a synth work going on I was definitely really feeling the the that magical just infinite they have amazing album cover to this is beautiful like dragon dragon fly sort of cosmic being and I was definitely feeling that the hyperspace just a massive infinite design and beauty of like being and the music and the sex and the out of body flow stayed with these beautiful forms I felt like we were sort of dancing in this ocean of these you know kind of for me the visual is like this a dense ocean of dragonflies mixed with jelly fishes or something and as my friends like to see ya and did they say about the given it from the vine damn that was an ossifer it lasted for a very long time I had a lot of internal orgasms and then I had one clitoral orgasm and usually after I have a plural or I chasm I’m unlike I need a break like I need a little no I need some time to kind of regroup from that very rarely do i keep going I had no problem with keeping on going after that at all I was just it was just this constant rhythm the music was important like the music I felt like it was a master ceremony using and there is like this yeah this guiding force of how our energy was going to be exchanged between another and um yeah that was also quite lovely shooting box an eternity and just flying around soaring through hyperspace together just wonderful yeah it’s definitely come like that movie The Lawnmower Man where they show like the blissful part of their union was great I definitely was traumatized by the the more predatory park which was indicated by the asshole from the military experiment switching the formulas so that Joe would have the evil aggressor Dominator monkey alpha male thing going on but I know whoever whoever designed that and as Terrence always says the fucking the pure programmers of the fucking freaks with hair down her asshole has acid head hippies it built built all that stuff so whoever whoever made that movie really I think had some sense of what it’s like to be and that was hyperspace that they were depicting there you know in cyberspace here picking hyperspace so there’s a lot of that yeah cosmic oceans fluttering and then lots the music the way cynics music is it’s like so filled with like these vistas you know you get the music takes you to the peak of a mountain and shows you like the plan view of this valley and it takes you under water and takes you the clouds and stuff like that psy-trance is very well designed to do that as well so yeah I was myself my it was yeah it was the quality of a continuous like flow state of orgasm it was and I had them have been working on this in doing this I pretty much stopped ejaculating I’ve stopped having a desire to ejaculate like when I masturbate I masturbate and just hold it’s a power lot you know and just plateau and plateau and plateau and it seemed to all be pointing towards this this experience you know like it I kind of feel like I’ve been in training you know for and I have been very very isolated in my practice and feel like it’s this has been like my black belt I wasn’t pursuing heavy genital stimulation for myself I was we’re just trying to work with and if and when in that position i was able to i was absolutely very hard little time and very strong and full all that and put totally not victim too oh my god I have to stop moving every second i was able to just continuously move four fucking hours it seemed like without any concept of time without any without any anxiety or fear or desperation about becoming over stimulated and ejaculating and all that like it was the most liberation from that and that’s what I’ve experienced in sex every every single time I’ve ever had sex it’s like holding back the pleasure because it’s just going to blow your circuit and this allowed that to be totally transcended yeah it was great and I i should say to that this whole since i’ve been getting into this stuff since I beginning into a tantra and like you know I I was like I want to I want to achieve something it was not to push my limits and see how much stimulation I could handle and like really myself become the I wanted to give I wanted to get you I route I wanted to focus all my energy on really your your pleasure in their stimulation so that I could know that it was possible for you to have work achieve like orgasmic flow States achieve satiation spiritually energetically and I think he felt the same like didn’t feel the need to like go through another 50 positions or whatever and totally could have just didn’t seem necessary and seemed like we have other work to do and that’s about when it the music loop back to the beginning and the beside trance came on again and that led to our getting up and hugging it down to subside chance for a couple hours which is like that was ultimate fulfillment for me because I felt like I knew I feel like man I’m not gonna be able to share this love of this experience I know the songs really well so for me the energetic choreography was like already fully there so I got to be the lead the dance and ride the emotional cocktail the emotional pharmacy that was timed with the music

and some songs were really joyous and blissful and freeing just loving and some of them were getting into the darker intensity of the struggle and the mission and like I definitely used the opportunity to put us together in two different configurations that were going to maximize the bonding the bonding and feeling of those energies and also we saw that I introduce you to my vision that I had last time which was like seeing myself in the wall and this like kind of headrest shamanic otherworldly state with my attention focusing at a point in the middle of the room sort of and I sat you down once you could see that that where I was and see the focal point of my attention in that friend that figure on the wall i SAT you down and yelled you down to the position that I had seen you in the vision last time that’s where you appeared to me and all of the room conspired to create this focal point of view being right there so magically you know and I actually played the song that was playing during that time I went I said I want to play our song and this was the song that evoke you in that vision so I played it and you were in position and then totally unconsciously I wasn’t thinking of doing this at all but unconsciously I felt my hand vibrate with this great thick powerful energy and start to move in like helix type spirals up the up your spine and I was like all right this is it this is the Kundalini energy for surely and I have it in my hands like I’m sculpting it and writing it and bringing it up the spine and of course the heart and then we continue to dance with it and bring it up higher into higher chakras and to come together into long states of bonding yeah and then we hit we after after that some really intense energy work there we just continued to really have fun dancing and listening to a few more songs and its really thrilled to just be able to just be blissful and dancing and dancing through the night for couple hours and then put back on some mellow music laid down and crashed out and just remain glowing when you know I was I was kneeling on the floor and and then cuenta de Valle he said dude do you see me over there and I looked and he was right he was right there and you know I saw his face into the wall and so I yes yes I see you and he’s it okay well he started like even really saying he actually put his hands on me and I could feel where he was like one hand was on one side of my torso and when hand is on my back side and and I could just kind of feel his energy coming through me and um and he was kind of living my body around and it was like I’m my body knew exactly how to respond there was like this amazing dance between him and I energy of yeah rising up a Kundalini feeling just feeling a slow learning type of like amazing bumping um swaying rhythmic kind of motions going gone to help my energy raised up enough and it was it was really beautiful experience and what was really neat about it was that I felt like how almost like professional like oven that’s all right it’s kind of like you know professional ice skaters are you know um you know just like you know there was like this kind of like or playing a piano like playing piano like you know play I play that instrument it was like knowing the notes exactly by heart it was um you know it was just the sort of like playing off on another’s bodies where we knew exactly what how to move and what to do and that was what was really fascinating to me not having a moment of hesitation or questioning but just really kind of like bumping off of each other and in that way yeah and so yeah I ended up really um enjoy myself with the music um and you know I I felt like I just held back for a bit but then towards the end of the two hours i was definitely dancing to trance music hello I was dancing to try and see Zach I I’ve never really done that for um you know I felt good about that and maybe it’ll make me look at it like trance music a little different from here on but I’m not really sure I guess I’ll of the wait and see but but I feel pretty good about her right now I don’t yeah yeah it was yeah it was really good we really needed that we should be fucking keep it and so much of our relationship when we live together was like this total misalignment of energy like we were able to to really where we really flow together in sober sex and drunk sex and sleepy sex and you know we have this potential to really sink up and to really be one or I think we achieve that to a great degree like in our in our sexual practice and are just holding each other sleeping together eating together being very close and very compatible but often in daily life we had a lot of friction and a lot of inability to flow together and to be one to absorb the impact of like the fucking random crazy shit that happens out in the world and to flow with it together and I think I hope that this experience helps us maintain that dynamic flowing alignment that so often breaks us apart and puts us into our separate minds and our separate egos when we’re encountering you know the hustle and bustle so I think this will definitely nourish and energize the chakras and give us the strength to carry on and keep fighting for what we’re fighting for and magically manifest in our was full abundant eco Punk farming future