Please enjoy this half hour “pondside” chat video with Courtney Gardner of AbsoluteTantra.com where we talk about male and female perspectives on the how and why of semen retention!
Please enjoy this half hour “pondside” chat video with Courtney Gardner of AbsoluteTantra.com where we talk about male and female perspectives on the how and why of semen retention!
In this episode I’m sharing the audio from a recent video shoot I did with Courtney Garner where we discuss the how and why of semen retention as a follow up to our previous podcast:
It was great fun to be in each other’s presence and share enthusiasm for this vital and under-represented aspect of sexual health, wellness, and empowerment.
To work directly with Courtney please visit her website at:
I’m a fun-loving Practitioner who’s great at laying it out so you get it! Helping clients find practical ways to integrate the practice and make it work, is my priority. I frequently work with men on issues like porn addiction, sexual dysfunction, and disconnection. I’m also a huge meditation advocate, teaching kids and adults the foundation of a spiritual practice.
As a nurse, fitness advocate, and Tibetan 5 Element Healing Practitioner, I have a holistic view of health and an expanded approach to healing. Using my Western medical training and Eastern healing practices, I provide a fresh voice, for ancient practices that give results now. My mission is to support the growth of free minds; free from fear, judgment, pain… I work everyday to change the world, one mind at a time.
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin their beloveds welcome to Tantra Punk podcast episode number 145 I have a audio recording from a video shoot that I did recently with Courtney Garner of absolute Tantra. Calm and we did an episode a while back called the how and why of semen retention so I’m going to add to that with this episode where we extended dialogue in the in person discussion and we got some beautiful footage it’s also on my website under the videos Tab and so you can check that out and she is a amazing wonderful practitioner of Tibetan tantric Healing Arts and she offers a lot of amazing classes and meet ups and Retreats and really appreciate that you said working within a lineage that Devi Ward one of them I believe that the main superhero ends of the modern tantric healing movement they work together and they’re both are continuing a beautiful lineage so please definitely check out Davey Awards work as well with that said enjoy the show thanks so I I’m a coach that trains actually I teach them attention on so I’m a woman teaching men how to retainer Steven so Ben is actually packages himself and he’s a man so he’s going to give us more inside on inside on doing the practice how it feels how things have changed for your body how your sexuality has evolved because the practice so yes and I have my teacher also as well I have my own way of teaching everybody’s different so it’s beautiful to connect into also commiserate and what he no deal with the different challenges we all have to face and so yeah anyting what what what what do you feel like would be good for your students and fans to motivation for a man to want to learn some region that is a good question I’d say there’s a number of them so it’s hard to choose exactly the top but I would say probably first and foremost the jealousy and envy that I have over the level of ecstasy that women get to experience almost effortlessly the right amount of sustained attention is there you know where there’s from Steven pleasuring one’s self pleasuring yourself and having a deep ritual toys or crystals are Yoni eggs or Justino manually you really don’t expire there’s a fair for me is a man that sense of depletion after spilling my seed it’s like the party’s over and I feel like I’m a party pooper by myself or with with a woman and certainly wouldn’t have been able to discover the techniques to be able to rise up to the potential of what sort of out-of-the-box the female physiology can can can have just almost for free that’s it’s a lot of work but the payoff and the reward and that the motivation is that you do get to go into those really deep Altered States orgasmic trance states that last forever and ever and you know the next priority to that would be to be a better lover in to be not only for your own sake to have that experience but also to to actually meet the the the desire that a female partner has who is kind of boring multi-orgasmic if you can be there and I show up and man up and help deliver those experiences and it’s going to really improve and she won’t be faking it you know she won’t be it won’t be a struggle it won’t be that cuz the thing that makes it so frustrating and sort of unenjoyable and making love is the idea that would say the woman is thinking oh God I have to force myself to get to climax as fast as possible because his Chariot might turn into a pumpkin do you know any time and so I had to 7 minutes to be that guy she can relax more and experience more and go there and be fully fully sucking all of you in as a being when she doesn’t have to worry about oh God I got to hurry up and do my thing otherwise I’m going to miss out and then you as the man if you’re thinking oh god I’ve got to think about dirty socks or grandma or sports or whatever you’re doing a locker room buddies told you you’re not fully present to your potential pleasure so both of you are kind of checked out and you’re in this race and you’re not fully present so I see those are the two biggest that’s the sort of the the pleasure part of it but then there’s all the health benefits there’s all of the Dinos from of the Chinese perspective it’s really a practice of of preventive medicine and also has just so many subtle energetic benefits for just overall Health and Longevity and in their system you know it’s very clear that you have a declining amount of gene or Sexual Energy so you got to pace yourself and you know there’s different systems of measurement and there’s different intervals and some some schools and traditions you have different beliefs and opinions and and Medicine behind it but I say everybody’s an individual and you can find your sweet spot but certainly the it doesn’t come for free once you get a little bit older you know me when you’re in your teens and early twenties you can spill your seed multiple times in one evening and won’t even matter if she may not even know and sometimes you can stay even fully erect and release and stay erect and in that case you know you’re golden but that doesn’t last forever so use it wisely enjoy it while it lasts I mean you have to become more of a master of yourself and really pace yourself at this stage you know in my late thirties now I really understand how passion and purpose and drive is so intimately linked to the amount of energy that you’re cultivating and holding onto and cycling and circulating up into your heart record so using is like a furnace or you know the power plant to finance energetically this higher the higher chakras and ideally you want to plan your release and have strong intentions around it really make a magical ritual to manifest cuz when you do if you spill it accidentally that’s one thing but when you actually have a purpose for it and you’re offering as a sacrifice it’s an energetic sacrifice of your most precious magical you know biological elixirs that your body produces so if you’re going to have the intention to form of life to create a baby you know that’s a powerful intention it can be ritualize and really blessed or if it’s to create something non-biological like a job promotion or creative inspiration or an album or something that’s the really intelligent and wise path of sacrificing in and really planning and making a SAT Word would say a semen party out of your your release in visualizing yourself in the last thing I’ll say on that is dead what I’ve noticed as I’ve aged a bit is that you really feel the difference like this almost like a hangover a post ejaculatory kind of hangover and I even I think I might have coin this term post ejaculatory nihilism where you start to actually go question what you’re doing with your life and you forget about your goals but when you build up that charge on like passionate if I holding my seed for a while I put so much passion and purpose into all the things I’m doing and of course you know it keeps you aroused and it keeps you horny and it keeps you excited and that whole post ejaculatory nihilism or when you know guys the withdrawal emotionally all these depressive chemicals can come out and so it’s good to cuddle afterwards too so you keep toxic close enough so those are just that’s just for me that’s with right on the tip of my tongue to share about that whole subject so no pun intended in a nutshell that’s my perspective do that I thought was really funny because special for guys who have never tried it so kind of like a totally different experience to a different idea of sexual energy of orgasm and that’s the whole point when you practically retention it does transform your relationship with orgasm with Sexual Energy with sexually as a whole and then in turn also helps you to have more compassion for women for the opposite sex to really be able to empathize with connect with them as humans because you’re not coming from them as I’m a man your woman it’s like hey where humans are tapped into myself emotionally I talked to my sexuality and I’m happy with it and because of that I can honor and see see yours and respect yours so it’s really a practice that holistic the transformational not just about having longer better sex or more I can orgasm definitely a wonderful part of it right but even just sex the reason we want to stay in that Union longer is to read higher levels right we’re not going to get too far in 5-10 minutes and orgasm but she probably won’t and then that’s outside I really understand why Ben says you feel like the party’s over if you do exactly too fast because it’s it’s snowing over for you but it’s over for her too and that lack of choice in the matter that you know bring some pipe in ballots to to the satisfaction so I’m really happy when men take him to that their responsibility to hone in on their sexual energy to have the desire great destruct self motivation to want more for themselves to be healthier to be happier cuz one of the things that I’ve learned attention is just talked to her in general I practice Tantra right so just the practice in general really empowering because it teaches you that you don’t have to suffer you don’t have to have low energy low libido you’ll have to be a slave to jacking off the corn and disconnecting yourself in your sexuality you can fix it there’s tools there’s people that know what they’re doing I could help you we’re here to help each other help each other. A better life on the earth that we share together I’m so always know that you have the power on if you don’t have the tools you can get them by the power is definitely inside you and for me I want to talk to you a little bit about me as a female practitioner working with men because it is a little different it has open me up personally to be understanding of men personal trauma that they have to deal with a drone set up negative conditioning that affects the dynamic of men and women write the patriarchal set up it’s a set of conditioning 7 trauma that men have to deal with Professor both be happy North Board of first album Mutual Mutual happy life here on Earth as a one minute it’s helping to open up two men not having the space to the emotional I didn’t know that right as it as when we kind of fall the same societal lines of men are aggressive and not too emotional that’s me know if there’s anything you don’t know how to express train in touch we are humans we both have emotions we both have the ability to get in touch with them and when we can do that when a man can’t do that dresses NACA wake it up you notice today or they just not might have been right heat and when we walk around with you got the key to the heart and so will you guys can learn from us is just tapping into that feminine energy that he that is a big man energy and what happens with are the way that we set up our men in society being hard being you know much or not having emotions as we take away turkey because you’re human but you can’t have a kid you don’t get to happen to it in an address your emotions and process them and feel heard but we’re changing that you guys were changing that going to give him space to heal we want them to be open and see retention is a practice that changes a man’s perspective it really expands it just from sexuality being a genital Center thing now it’s like six what is like part of my existence like how did I get here sexual energies what’s my most powerful force of creation Sexual Energy so are seeing retention Factor start and helps us to learn to harness the energy use it for transformation use it for healing music for happiness and pleasure and we all deserve back where you guys are a woman pleasure and orgasms and all that what are we going to do for the penis and happiness today if it is the Enigma you know how could it seems impossible right but how could you possibly control that how could you separate orgasm from ejaculation it’s like it’s like impossible but hey we got to split atoms and creep mass destruction weapons of mass destruction weapons of mass queuing and in love and miss you guys for skin intact if you make it easier to rise to the occasion and that’s a whole nother subject but that’s part of it so whether or not you have your cut or uncut you know you have a different road map for her progressing on this path and I’ll see you know as being uncut I have the blessing of having what you can call practice vagina because if it’s able to Passaic it doesn’t get shaved it doesn’t get sort of beating up throughout life do you know and it protects the sensitivity so I I do kill that family connection more grab my life and I’ve always felt that night I didn’t have to suffer that immediate trauma of just feeling butchered at Birth you know that’s really a tragic thing that we overlooked and it’s responsible for violence and culture is in Warrior Coulson just all of that is all that stuff so wherever you’re starting from with that you know the different world map like I said but it’s something to be honored and respected him and understood what are some of the ways that you get people started off I’m going to give you guys a few tips to just get started on reconnecting with your sexuality but this really what I seen your attention practice does so first thing I always say is slow down slow down is a big thing that not just sexually but everywhere we need to do right into practice slowing down because if you think about your going to take a walk through the garden you run through that Garden you’re not going to do any flowers Fountain was there just ran to the Garden but if you just slow down and take a walk through the garden you not only get to your destination with his which is orgasm we want that right but you’ll be able to really enjoy the pleasure all the way up to the orgasm flowers smell out of that so I invite you to slow down Savor your sex whether it’s with yourself or with another person favorite I’m just so much more pleasure to be had when you just be present in that moment I was just kind of rushing through it to this this instant gratification and that’s just part of our how we are these days this instant gratification is a big thing right B can Google anything to get information as soon as you want I’m communication we can pretty much contact anybody anytime you a lot until we are used to getting things very quickly so think about you orgasm your sexuality as something that is secret write something that you want to save her not to be so no rush through most of the other one just slow down the other two would be if you guys are using any outside sources of stimulation so so using foreign heavy visualisations I invite you to try and just bring that down bring your focus from your head or whatever religion is outward bring it in words I’ll try focusing on your body what do you feel how can you with your even your own hands make your body feel good what do you like so I invite you to try those things reconnect with your body with your pleasure and then see how that expands your sexual experiences with others or just expand your connections with your sexuality so you can you know you got quiet down to listen to something so this is just me telling you guys to be a little bit more quiet so you can hear what your body is saying do that let me know how it works. I love the idea that the heart chakra if you do put in effort to open at your kind of creating this magical magnetic Vortex that will suck the energy up so that feeling of your getting to the edge and you’re going to explode from the genitals actually if the Heart is Open it’s going to alleviate that pressure and it’s going to create a nice flow and it’s just going to naturally drawn up and into it and then if you can transmute it and bring it up and up and up into the third eye and Crown then you really do know cooking with grease you’re really because yeah we do want to connect a heart chakra with her sexual Kirby gray I’m going to connect those two I’m so yeah. When when you are riding to the top fires going to hot and ready to cool the fire down I think breathe in and out from the heart and that does it pulls the energy up to here and when you breathe from your heart it helps you just dissipate through the whole body so you’ll get that that Sexual grasmick Energy not just in your genitals but all over your heart your fingertips your feet so that Thing You Do arrive to that beautiful magical moment it’s a full body experience exactly any luck came to me is I’m going to step into my man I’m putting my manhood hat on right now and say For All You’ve machine heads and motor heads out there think of your heart as the radiator and your breath is the fan in that in that vehicle vehicle is trying to get you to the level of where your partner is at already you going to get in your hot rod and you’re going to fire that thing up and turn it on and you got to have if you don’t have a radiator what happens with the steam coming out of the engine you know what I mean is laughing YouTube Van running hot radiator and breathe add PVC I’m getting the tools to me sucking up and sipping up that hole for a Man Out say that you’re reeling them and Tom Sanskrit ligaments the word for penis and beans Wanda flight so it sounds really good right you guys want of light Sacred Space is the only so those are really pretty words that using your lingam as a straw to drop energy so you know if you were in Union with a woman you could sip her energy or Essence through your link up your body up your channel on your Center and then you can pretty much send that to your heart since your head at the man is really really aroused I used to tell him to pull it all the way up to his head and how to get the throttle body help from some situations keep it flowing everything you know this is all a replacement for our normal habit of holding our breath and so what we’re doing now instead of just like you know going to the orgasm for saying hey relax ride the wave ride the wave of orgasm cuz that’s what it should be like it should be something very relaxing something pleasurable something that you can just fall into a balloon we have sex now a lot of times it’s very picky coaster ride you can have a lot more pleasure beat have a lot more enjoyment feels like a nice sweetie right right a serf that don’t you think about what you think about something weird dirty thoughts are genetically and when you’re in your head you’re withdrawn energetically from your body is so we can feel that so if you’re if you’re with her and you guys are proven good and you’re about to come and you want to stop in your life we feel that break for severe able to kind of just take a breath. Up maybe to slow down or stop your your stroke but still keeping the moment these present in your body with her it’s a totally different experience to keep that connection going it’s not fixed this pause you have to take a nap to build back up your arousal connection and I’ll save him experience the more practice you have practice makes perfect of course you know you if you’ve been coached any sport or anything it’s like that it’s okay in The Mask you hyper masculine world I don’t want to call toxic with the hyper masculine world to say you expect that you’re going to be drilled by a coach and you’re going to be you know you’re going to have to practice over and over and over again no other aspect of self-mastery would you expect to Just Master out of the box but for some reason we’re so you know condition that we’re supposed to know everything and do everything right the first time and put as much effort into becoming a sexual artist and loving Artist as you would a martial artist or a sportsman or whatever so you know that here we have who else to inspire you to want to walk this so we do need more connection and we do need somewhere that’s emotionally available to talk about his feelings and I’ll be able to hear hers is one thing that happens with relationships as if you’re not emotionally connected in touch with your emotions and how the hell you going to hear mine and I know what I’m feeling right so do it for yourself and also do it for future relationships in order to have a really good connection in order to have intimacy you have to be able to do that with yourself and I know we have the stigma around anything self write in just the selfishness of self but really there’s no other there’s no other stores have to come for myself yeah Justin Moore’s the more you love yourself the more of a full overflowing container you can offer and share with other people so that you’re not sucking energy away from them you’re not a vampire you’re not super needy and totally week sexually and spiritually if you love yourself and your overflowing abundant than you can you know it’s the misery loves company and happiness loves company to so so any other thoughts just to kind of give this teaser to get people excited about it for the guys out there no matter what age you are but know a lot of younger guys will say they like there’s nothing wrong with you and really does not yet but healthy Sexual Energy strong maybe if you have multiple orgasms but the natural process of Our Lives is overtime those things are going to change and so now you have the opportunity to get yourself to a certain level we’re in your younger days you’re on already at a good at a good place now you can just max that out at in your view that have the best experience that when you do get older they not deteriorating as if no Hazard normal to start to deteriorate and so like you said with the the Chinese wear jean runs out over the years so I should become older it’s hard to get back up to Baseline you’re going to be struggling to even feel like you have a strong sexual cheap I’m so now it’s like hey you can get not only hear FaceTime you can get above that and just stay here and that pretty much makes you invincible if you guys think about it like that means you’re you’re not as not susceptible to age muscle deterioration weakness brain cloudiness I’m always things are affected by our declining Sexual Energy I’m an excess ejaculation but think about your help for sure if you’re an older man understanding that you still have the apartment in the tools to have a strong Sexual Energy even if you have gone through the natural process of it declining where to get back up to that that since I was strong Mojo can still do it just takes diligence it takes practice and it takes this love for for your yourself look word be sexual energy that is your power if you don’t do it like that it’s just can’t really motivate yourself without heart heart right like you need hard so do it for yourself do it because you need it and also if you have any Hang-Ups around you know I don’t need to know anything like I know what I’m doing I know it was know everything you’re doing and you need to put seatrain we never were trained so there’s there’s a certain base light of knowledge that we were denied a shame. I love our whole lives so now you have it available to you so I encourage you to take that knowledge for yourself for a better world and also you can spread that to Future Generations we don’t have this passing on any more negative conditioning button help you have it at about semen retention and saving your seat holding onto your juice and so yeah it’s been it’s been grand and again you know there’s a percentage of the world who likes to learn these techniques through watching the videos that I put out online and but I think there’s a greater percentage of the population that would would probably rather do this work through the educational Works in materials and coaching of this beloved goddess here Courtney so please Avail yourself of her teachings and I’m always here for you too and yeah with that will close with the time to Kiss and Say Goodbye thank you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to see me and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. 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