Tag Archives: healing

5 Tips for Staying Positive During the Covid-19 Pandemic Vanessa Soulxo TPP265

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Vanessa Soulxo Pic 02

In this episode I’ve syndicated 5 tips to stay positive during the covid-19 pandemic by Vanessa Soulxo

About Vanessa:

Vanessa LeMaistre is a Spiritual & Soul Empowerment Activist. Her platform provides a self-improvement/positive lifestyle brand to customers who are looking to feel whole within themselves. Vanessa has overcome a lot and believes if she could, so can you. Vanessa is very inspirational and she aspires to inspire. She provides inspirational youtube videos on her youtube channel: www.youtube.com/uareart and on her social media platforms she promotes exerts and positive affirmations from her upcoming book. You can find her on social media platforms such as Ig, snapchat, Twitter under the name: vanessasoulxo which is also the name of her website domain. Her Facebook is her first and last name: Vanessa LeMaistre

Please visit her website at:
vanessasoulxo.com/

My Non Verbatim Notes:

Corona virus 5 tips to stay positive

gone through tons of profound trauma, going through a traumatic time can be good

personal experience, trauma helped me prepared for times like this

get suited and booted, bring the guns out cuz we already know what that’s like

going through trauma strengthens you

when you’ve had trauma, you know here we go again, its time for me to bring my guns out and fight with life

don’t let it bring you down

personal experience, all traumas, time of transformation, completely transformed me on every level, cellular, physically, energetically

trauma is transformation

not a time to fall into hysteria

a lot of people, hysteria spreading like wild fire, people freaking out

I understand being cautious and take care of your self to not get sick, and not infect other people

take a step back, question mental health, not to judge, is it really necessary to be hysterical

falling into the trap of hysteria is a way of operating on a lower frequency, done with lack of awareness, lack of higher consciousness

operating from higher consciousness, hysteria/trauma around you, you’re able to see with keen awareness, it could always be worse

we’ve made it as an evolution this far, why not take notes on how people have survived

first time in 5 tips for how to stay positive, trust

we’ve made it this far, to freak out to the point where you think the whole world is going to end is irrational

trust in mother earth

beginning of time, life continues to go on, the universe is very sustainable

universe knows exactly what its doing

corona virus is a time for people to heal

great time for universe to heal, all of our systems to heal, coming out of a capitalistic mindset that’s no longer serving the collective, the global consciousness

opportune time to rest and recharge

time to go within

time for systems to be rebuilt

even in nature, there is a phase of hibernation, or rest, before the seed sprouts, time to reset, a system cannot be recalibrated without taking that time for pause and recluse, time to recharge

many systems that are failing, I honestly believe all the systems are failing, judicial, church, corporations, just not getting it right, hierarchical platform no longer serving themselves, each other, the earth

all systems currently failing, time to reset and recharge

connect with yourself

use this as a time to really connect with manifestation, what do you want to see the new world like

the earth is suffering, universe is exhausted, can’t keep operating the same way

what am I gonna do to change things moving forward

make changes within your being that will offset, recalibrate where you were before

shock to planet, to humanity, to be called to go within

evolve

constantly doing the same bs, gossiping about people, watching tv, feeding ourselves with all this bs, lowering frequency

universe shifting on higher frequency

I struggle with how can I connect with myself more, how can I choose to love myself more, what can I give myself today usually things that aren’t comfortable

so easy to go shopping, go out to eat

I think it’s a blessing

connect to your feet, ground yourself, connected to areas within yourself that do need healing

happening so we can heal as individuals, universe can heal as a whole

change

make the choice to change, don’t continue doing the same things you were doing before

learn the lessons, if you don’t learn them they keep showing up

earth speeding up faster and faster, if we don’t choose to evolve, things like this will happen naturally, it’s just not in alignment

choose to change

change is never comfortable, definitely takes action, what better time to change,

universe is supporting you by shattering everything that you’re used to

things will change

looking at all the change that’s happening

bringing your guns out

trusting this is okay

choose to be a better person

taking the reclusive time within yourself

not constantly looking out to feel fulfilled

change for the better

use this as an opportune time for self care

baths, journaling, meditating, walk in nature, the sun, hug a tree, feed your soul

through self care, you’ll evolve

manifest, operating on higher frequency

make shift in positive direction

through self care, living in capitalistic society, go go go, staple for a level of success, achievement that is false

earth/plants not doing that

through self care, it becomes easier to see what it is that you need to raise yourself to a higher frequency, through self care, a really big one is taking the time to set positive intentions for yourself

times get hard you do have to push harder

set positive affirmations, life will go my way, my dreams will come true, I will make it through this

I will be a good person in my community

through self care, we’ll better know how to take care of others when this does pass

this too will pass

it’s not permanent, drop the victimization

stop feeling really week, choose to feel strong

universe would never give you anything that you cannot handle

just got back from Haiti

met a really amazing guy, had this positive energy, stating that in Haiti, not one person with the corona virus, living with virus, suffering, here there’s life

so optimistic, so positive

I felt optimistic by taking on his perspective, there can be life found in the midst of all of this mess

life is within you

don’t feed into all the bs don’t just sit there and watch all the funny memes of corona virus all day long, you’re not using the time to grow

what will you stand for when things go back

things will be changed they will be transformed

 

Kali Sahasranama in Sanskrit and English Read by Sufiana TPP257

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Kali Painting

In this episode I share the recording I commissioned from Sufiana of the 1008 names of Goddess Kali, including both the Sanskrit and English

Mindfulness, Nature Immersion, and The Pacific Crest Trail with Jessica Moon TPP241

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Jessica Moon In a Boat Smiling

In this episode I’m joined by Jessica Moon for a conversation on mindfulness, nature immersion, and hiking the Pacific Crest Trail for 5 MONTHS!

About Jessica:

Jessica Moon is a Stress Management Coach who focuses on Mindfulness and Nature Immersion as vehicles for powerful healing and evolution. From many years in corporate America to hiking the Pacific Crest Trail, Jessica has a broad range of life experiences that has provided her the insight to guide and transform in her one on one coaching practice. She is an advocate for mental health awareness and diversity in the outdoors, and active in building her local community.

Instagram: @jessicamoonco

My (non verbatim) notes:

TP: Jessica Moon, old dear friend, along the ride of tantra punk journey since very beginning around 2013, was shocked to find that name hadn’t already been turned into some sort of persona online, hopefully I’ve done my best

she’s way beyond a supportive friend, an inspiration, somebody who’s kept me on a very ethical and conscious path, has given me lots of great feedback

talk about her path, eco psychology, forest bathing, many ways to look at benefits of spending time in nature, deep personal journeys of long distance hiking

extra bonus, you might recognize her silky voice as the voice of the outro on all of my episodes, does a wonderful job of doing the wrap up details, its a treasure to have that mystery voice be on the podcast

JM: working on getting people outdoors, help people see benefits of being immersed in nature, millennials , anyone can benefit, remove barriers to help people really benefit

start when I younger and in college I was a sexual health peer mentor for my university, worked with my peers to educate them on health topics, disseminated health and hygiene products through the outreach center, help become more empowered

after graduated, joined nature center, help plan ecological programs and events, natural conservation for the city, got to work with variety of people

it was a very beautiful experience to be intimately connected with these people, very active motivated hikers, some people who’d never spent time even at a park

really wanted to help people have a more enjoyable, more intimate experience with natural world

then got into corporate world, for about 5 years, it was good to learn a lot of skills, but definitely aching, stress, heaviness of not having that immersion that I used to have

caught up in career, societies idea of success, lost connection with self, deep connection with natural world

year, decided to hike pacific crest trail, had been training, reconnecting with mountains, beaches, when I took the leap, and left for the trail, such a transformation from being immersed in the wilderness, back country for 5 months, feel completely at peace now that I’ve had that experience, affirmed, not everybody can take that much time off their life

but any amount of time is so beneficial, now that I’m back, into the science, philosophy, how to get more nature time into our busy lives, liberating motivating

TP: want to get into the drama of this whole arch of preparing, doing some permaculture the other day, mentioning we were gonna talk about this, the PCT, how do people survive, you can’t bring a semi truck water tank that drives behind you, what are the amenities on the trail, he said people will send selves care packages, I don’t really have a clue

JM: the resupply logistics, first, instead of one really long trip, think of as series of 3 to 5 day, sometimes more than 7 days depending on snow, how quick you hike, generally 3 to 5 days, given that , hiker hunger, metabolism working so hard, never felt hunger like that before, if you think about it as you’re going town to town, long series of small backpacking trips, you can self packages ahead of time, my strategy was I resupplied in town, if you’re lucky, supermarkets, sometimes just gas station, generally you know, or if you didn’t ask around, anticipate that, if you go get into a town with a big grocery store, buy food, ship it forward, only did for really small towns, didn’t want to eat pop tarts and snicker bars, backpacking food, if you don’t go really expensive route, has a lot more nutrients compared to options like instant ramen, after a while, can’t eat this any more, try to mix it up, hit up bulks, blessing to find bulk section, keeping an open mind, would have been hard if I had any dietary restrictions if I was vegan or gluten intolerant, I would have done more sending myself ahead of time, its really not that much cheaper or convenient to send yourself the boxes ahead of time, you’re tastes change

you don’t have a car, last thing you want to do is walk more

TP: from prepper survivalist world, lot of people in fantasy land, vision of how their gonna be so fit, prowess, bad ass, when zombie apocalypse happens, but they’re not conditioning in the mean time, but the experience of doing this endurance drill, makes me think everything has to be so tightly economized, efficiency, variables to consider, you’re probably better prepared for anything to go wrong, then people who make a whole life style out of being a prepper, tripping me out

could you tell me about some of the sort of dietary life hacks that you came up with, as some one doing this frugally, out of necessity, on a budget, how to have healthy food and not junk food

JM: does take a toll, body type can’t just eat anything, when I was on trail, I was like omg I can eat chips and candy, I really felt terrible, I really need to take care of myself, I was like okay I really need to change the trajectory of my nutrition, took a lot of supplements, glucosamine , multivitamin, try to pick up juice shakes, I needed that because when you’re on the trail, you have to consider weight right, weight expense and convenience

for example, you can get tuna packets, just a staple for hikers, thing about them, not terribly expensive, but not cheap either, on cost, in the circle of the through hikers, most people agree it’s about $1000 a month, on a tighter budget its possible to hike less, you’re gonna be spending less time in town, if you’re a social person its a fun part of the experience to explore the town

if you’re on a tight budget its definitely possible to do the hike on less, buy the food in bulk previously

dehydrating food at home and sending forward, people get sick of the same food, but you can spend a lot more on the trail as well, stay in hotel, one bed vs 6 hikers, or alcohol, or deserts, depends on person, average person not super luxurious is about $1000, barrier to entry is not accessible to everybody, it is a big trip, felt very privileged that I had opportunity

TP: bullet points, staple macro nutrients, can feel you on the weight and price, on that path as urban survivalist, trying to figure out what my pallet will enjoy and what my guts will handle, I could have the most Bourgeoisie, organic fresh catered diet to the maximum degree of what I know is the ideal, but if I did that I wouldn’t be able to do anything else, joke about “whole paycheck”

but I do believe in my heart of hearts that there are life hacker ways to have extreme frugality, but have extreme nourishment, bulk, group buys, I’m curious for you, fats, proteins, carbohydrates in that framework, stuff you could tolerate the longest, didn’t make you sick, sweet spot of weight and cost, ramen doesn’t cut it

JM: biggest thing for me, that I bough dehydrated vegetables, basically a soup mix, in bulk, just add it to everything, find the vegetables that you like, if you have a dehydrator, I would say incorporating vegetables into your diet no matter what, can eat dried meat, jerky, bison bars, sausage, tuna or chicken pouches, but if you just have that, you’re lacking that balance,

really enjoyed dried, pre prepared beans, really not that expensive, compared to bison bar, or higher end nut butters, just dried beans, make sure they’ve been dehydrated as cooked beans, they’re like bean flakes, if you’re vegan or something, or if body can’t tolerate fat anymore, its really high fat out there, powered humus also an option

sunflower seeds are really cheap

also drink powders, couldn’t handle the sugar, protein powders keep you full

cheeses work really well, lactose intolerant, but a popular lunch was a flour tortilla, summer sausage, and hard cheese

things like spam, powdered eggs, dehydrated milk, I really enjoyed dried veggies, dried fruits

chilli mangos was a treat, new technologies for much lighter, dehydrated and freeze dried veggies and fruits

really liked raw stuff, everything was so dry, and processed, but things like nutritional yeast, everything but the bagel package, sauce packets, miso soup, chicken noodle soup, powdered taco mix

lots of sodium and preservatives, but they’re light, cheap, last a long time, if in a pinch they have something to offer

I just bit the bullet and got green juices, or super food mixes whenever I could afford it

avoid ramen, so many other things available, entire bagels, last for a few days, instant rice and potatoes, always a staple, nan flat bread, corn tortillas don’t last very well, whole slices of bread, couscous was really popular

you have you’re good old trail mix, mixing it up and making it different, you really start to despise it

TP: shifting into more paleo and keto trend if you will, and so I’ve been experimenting a lot with build seeds, grinding into a more palettable form, powdered tahini, from bulk sesame seeds, grinding down to pumpkin seeds, mixing with coconut oil, like bread and butter, get that experience but it’s low carb, more protein, then having that fat, thinking about weight factor

were people bringing tubs of coconut oil or was it just too much weight, olive oil or other oils, calorie dense but you can’t eat that that much of it

JM: lots of oil, add a scoop of coconut oil to your meal, delicious, add more calories, seen people carrying full glass bottle of hot sauce, to spice things up, seen someone carry a glass jar of coconut oil

when for lighter right

went for single use coconut packets, a light way to incorporate into meals, trying to avoid highly processed carbs, I don’t make me feel that great

nuts, sunflower seeds, chia hemp and flax seeds also in my diet

they’re just delicious

TP: sprouting seeds and recycling water?

JM: read about a woman who sprouted just in a tupperware, poked holes, put a piece of cheese cloth, had fresh greens all week

broccolli, peas, lentils, alfalfa, also there was a time where there was a bunch of rain, miners lettuce foraging in oregon, what if I just threw some of that in to my ramen

TP: what level of foraging is legal/desirable, plant ID nerds, not gonna survive 100% but hope they wouldn’t be too restrictive about that kind of stuff

JM: I really can’t say, if we’re allowed to, it’s a protected trail, but in oregon you have to have a permit to forage for wild mushrooms, also, I definitely eat the huckleberries on the trail that were everywhere, just so many

TP: some things are invasive too, its a benefit

JM: thank you these giant berries we’re going into the trail

if I had a little more confidence in local flora and fauna, know for sure you can’t hunt, if it was permissible I’d totally lead a group, let’s get launch, wild mustard, miners lettuce, local invasive plants, didn’t have personal experience foraging, other than the berries

TP: people not yet in romance with nature yet, remember when I didn’t feel a romance with nature, grew up playing in woods, at the beach, wasn’t a deep yearning to connect with something I’d never known, didn’t feel deprived, took it for granted, video games started to eat my childhood, I don’t want to say disenchanted, I can commiserate with the people who feel like they feel more excitement from video games, socializing, hipster strips, when go out to nature I’m bored, cynical earlier in life, then rekindled romance through gardening, seeking healing, would love to have you in your words, help people feel into the shifts and transformation and deep soul tissue healing that’s happening, if you could romanticize the journey

JM: I think just to start it off, if you’re not in love, or find yourself bored, but you’re stressed out, want to work on health, nurture it better, just like to share, some of the research that is, where we are right now with nature immersion is where yoga was, in terms of more mainstream, widespread, growing body of research combined with intuitive understanding, tipping point, health researchers, government, very progressive, bring nature to people’s every day lives, it can lower stress hormone levels, reduce nervous system arousal, enhance immune system function, decrease anxiety, improve mood, help with aggression, accelerate healing

highly stimulated in this world now, if you want to try, give it a chance, big study, 20k people, people who spent 2 hours a week in green spaces, parks, neighborhood with a ton of trees, just hanging out and removing yourself from urban environment, traffic, noise, any kind of natural environment, either all at once or spaced out, like taking 10 minutes on launch break, fresh air, giving self space

attention restoration theory, allows brain to restore, allows cognition, your brain giving it space and time to relax, when you go back to desk or work, cognition levels are much better

little things like that, if you’re not someone who gets super excited, its such an easy thing, give yourself 10 minutes, 2 hours a week spread out, try it

when we make something important, our health, mental health, emotional states, spiritual states, at very least, relax and think, relax and not think, taking time to do that, make it important, have that connection with natural space it will begin to show itself to you

a friend that is not trying to tell you what to do with your life, or unsolicited advice, they’re just there, allow you to work through whatever you’re going through

natural world all of the patterns that exist in that space are things that as humans we’ve evolved with, all very familiar

one quote I really love, from scientist who was a pioneer for forest bathing Japan, “we are visually fluent in the patterns of the natural world, because we evolved in the scenery of the natural world we can process its patterns easily, it is this fluency that relaxes us”

TP: stress less, talk to the nature painting, talk to the landscape

JM: with my own business, researching so much, why isn’t this more popular, why isn’t this more well known

allow attention to restore our brains, to chill out, thinking tests better, in New York, some crazy busy place, even just looking at pictures of nature, videos, listening, put on headphones listen to nature sounds

all of that is beneficial, so it’s like why not

not the most stimulating, in terms of instant gratification, but if you make your health, mental health, emotional state, a priority, 10 minutes a day for you to level up

TP: PSA for gamers, as of just very recently Santa Cruz has joined Oakland, decriminalize entheogenic plants and fungi, the whole suite of plant derived entheogens, still federally highly regulated, but just like cannabis, this movement is growing very fast, #decriminalizenature, I feel like for me what shift was the romance with nature 10xed when I started to integrate dancing in the garden with psychedelics, because all of that dopamine you’d get from slaying dragons in a video game world, you’ll be that thrilled just watching the flow of nature, and being a part of it, and doing your own shadow work, and having nature spirits help you with that

don’t want impose that narrative on our work

JM: hemp will save the world environmentally

TP: what are some of the more cinematic moments

JM: very very beautiful views are conducive of these type of moments, knowing that when you’re looking out on this beautiful landscape, mountain peaks, feel very small, but very connected, look out and see all these pieces of me, subatomic particles, everything is me, and I am it, really grounding type of experience to have, look out, wow all the issues I’m struggling with or limiting factors, or negative head space, all that just dissipates, because you put things into perspective, look into the night sky, see the stars, and you just, sense of awe, and admiration, and deep respect, when you are just so connected, just in tune

TP: I feel that, live for those vistas, any times where equipment failed, or got soaked, freezing, suffer through a night, moments of triumph

JM: I would say nature is cruel but powerful mistress, so like, in the same way that it will guide me into this revelation about absolute awe adoration, at the same time I’ve been cold, and hungry, and so defeated, but I think those are the moments when we’re struggling, going through change, extreme internal conflict due to weather and terrain, you’re able to grow, I have so much respect for nature, those experiences teach you how to tap into your grit, drive is more important than intrinsic motivation, which is fleeting, tap into own tenacity, hardship

when things are gravy at home, stressed out from work or life, but physically when you are drenched, no placed to put your tent, or snow, post holing thigh deep, on side of mountain gotta get off but sun is setting

even just being out there and pushing yourself is honestly the best way to make a transformation, quickest and most impactful way

meditation is very powerful and important, but holy moly I just did that, very immediate evolution when you experience that kind of physical challenge

just think about it, anytime you get pummeled in the ocean, I respect you so much, I will not through trash in you, I’m just a naked human, a flesh bag

TP: break up, death of loved own, quitting smoking or drinking, seems like any kind of major shift or transition even if its just a week, sounds like you’re a great person to be an evangelist for this, and it’s not a pill that you just take and pay big pharma to have you on a pill for the rest of your life, hopefully get off anti-depressants, I can feel that

we’ll have you back to talk more about your business, thought about doing meet ups, I was just exposed to night hiking, maybe we’ll be looking forward to what you have to offer, more than welcome to promote

JM: for now, instagram up, jessicamoonco on instagram, hoping to launch officially next month if you are stressed out, want some mindfullness guidance and encouragement to get out doors, definitely check me out, jessicamoon.co forthcoming

TP: heart ached when you told me you were in a corporate career, didn’t hear the exhuberance in your voice when you told me about it, glad it served you well for business administration, training for solopreneur, blessings to everyone who thrives in that environment, having known you at the peak of your youthful enthusiasm for exploration and breaking rules and being a rebel, I’m so thrilled to know that everything is coming full circle for you.

I had similar story of it being incongruent with spirit/soul being in a cubicle, but knowing when I was in corporate environment I was mining the experience so I wouldn’t just be a broke ass hippy, I’d know how to take a penny and make two pennies with out

JM: thank you so much for having me, thank you so much for your attention and hope we can get out doors, level up, hope you have a beautiful week

TP: been a treasure and blessing, much love to you and all your beloveds

Heartfelt Honoring of Diverse Eco-Femininisms with Zanzibar TPP238

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Zanzibar pic

In this episode I’m joined by my dear friend Zanzibar!

About Zanzibar:

Zanzibar is a para-activist, tropho-autonomist donacrat who has participated in sissi-fraternal, progressional sociopercolation for decades. A dedicated Gaiaolatrat and femineurorevolutionary, glomp* has cotextured the trance-linguistics of metre and assonance over great calendrical longitudes. Glomp is a standing-wave emergence from anonymity who shelters in polywombic noir.

 

Santa Cruz Decriminalizes Plant and Fungi Entheogens TPP236

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Santa Cruz Entheogens Approved

In this episode I share the audio recording from the Santa Cruz city council vote that decriminalized entheogens:

Resolution declaring that the investigation and arrest of individuals twenty-one (21) years of age and older involved with the adult personal use and personal possession of entheogenic psychoactive plants and fungi listed on the Federal Schedule 1 list be amongst the lowest priorities for the City of Santa Cruz.

Read more at:
https://merryjane.com/news/santa-cruz-just-decriminalized-all-natural-psychedelics

The Sacred Sexual Healing Path of Gay Tantra Teacher Brad Amberheart TPP233

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Brad Amberheart Pic

In this episode I’m joined by Brad Amberheart

My new gay tantra hero has joined me for a deep exploration of all things gay and tantra. He takes us on a journey through his journey, a cinematic adventure behind the veil and into the inner sanctum of a magical priest of love. I felt lifted out-of-body and into the clouds while experiencing his eloquent narrative of personal evolution, healing, empowerment, transformation, and transcendence.  I was in the perfect mood to shove off the shore of normal waking consciousness to dance within the erotic consciousness of Brad’s historic evolutionary path towards bigger and bigger love.

About Brad:

Brad Amberheart is a Tantric sex coach and erotic workshop facilitator who works primarily with gay men. His primary passion is working 1-on-1 with men who are ready to explore erotic ecstasy as a pathway to a higher understanding of who we are and why we’re here. Brad has also led transformational erotic rituals at international Tantra festivals for people of all genders, including the Hawaii Tantra Festival and the Tantra Love Fest in Glastonbury, UK. Between 2017 and 2020, he wrote more than 120 concepts for conscious evolutionary Gay Sex videos and worked on 7 gay erotic film sets to coach male erotic models in how to convey a deeper sense of heightened sexual freedom and expression on camera. His latest endeavor, as of January 2020, is the launch of his podcast series, Gay Tantra, which is the first podcast series in the world devoted fully to the experiential practice of Tantra, Sexual Magic, and Erotic Mysticism for men who have sex with men. To listen to his podcast, watch his gay erotic videos, or book a Tantric Sex coaching session in person or via video conferencing, please visit bradamberheart.com

 

My (not verbatim) show notes: 

Tantric sex coach, erotic workshop facilitator for gay men, host of gay tantra podcast

Gratitude to tantrapunk podcast for invitation, a month ago, searching for gay tantra podcasts, closest that came up was tantra punk because of interviews with Jason Tantra and others, listened to quite a few podcasts, deeply touched by transcendental eroticism, self pleasuring that encouraged men to cherish our own bodies, and use orgasm for healing

right when just about to contact tantra punk, I got an email we found one another at the same time

sitting in same bedroom in grandmother’s house, live in western north carolina, talking today from home of ancestors, family lived for 5 generations, same cedar tree I decorated with lights over the holidays that was my height when I was twelve, now the same age as me, gigantic cedar tree that I can go in and hide and masturbate if I want to, right in the front yard, I think that’s a good frame work for what I’m about to tell you

grew up in very conservative religious background, lucky enough to have parents that were open sexually, even though 70s, father was deeply wounded emotionally and spiritually by the Vietnam war, I came into a world of turmoil and chaos

parents thought sex was a very important part of life, educated to embrace sex and its beauty

went to church, encouraged to wait until marriage to engage sexually, parents didn’t subscribe to that

even though baptist church, it was quite moderate. The horror stories about fundamentalist religions weren’t a reality

always cared for, always loved

when got into high school, more than before, became problem child

asked questions you’re not supposed to ask

Jesus never got married, how old was he when he did, is there anything in the bible about him having sex with anyone, because you’re not supposed to have sex before marriage, does that mean that Jesus never got to do you want me to die a 33 year old virgin, nailed on a cross

pleaded with youth minister to talk, he looked at me with kind eyes, I feel like a lot of people are asking the questions you’re asking but you’re the only one with courage to ask, I wonder what Jesus’ sex life was like

he got married, after wedding we all looked with longing, maybe he’s getting some now

still what really impressive, miraculously I was not shunned, encouraged to explore curiosity

curiosity is a foundational root of what it means to be on a tantric path

heard of tantra first from sister, she said, have you ever heard that there’s certain guys in the world that instead of ejaculating, they use that energy for other things and have these trippy experiences

didn’t hear the word again for many years, didn’t have sex with anyone all the way from puberty until I was 22 years old, partly because of religious upbringing, and partly because of craving, longing, excitement related to men, attributed it to admiration

if I would see a hunky guy there was a certain excitement

also noticed going on dates with women, it was done from a place of attempting to please relatives, to convince them I was normal

greatest obsession was to study all day saturday, for international science fair, studied sun spots through a telescope every day, instead of having sex

while every body else was exploring sexuality if they were lucky, I was at the library, I was a total nerd

went to church every sunday, even when parents quit going, I was the spiritual leader of the family, always asked to say the prayer

what’s more relevant, I remained disconnected from other people sexually all through college

I was religious but at the same time rebellious

celebrate new years in florida with my cousin

I wonder what jesus’ sex life was life, I’m 22, I don’t really want to die a virgin

willing to find any woman who’d be willing to experiment with me

wasn’t able to find anyone that wanted to go to bed with me

story going on in my mind, maybe people who go to bed with people of same sex was because they couldn’t get in bed with someone of the same sex

the story I got about homosexuality was not pretty, not positive, not encouraging, it was scary

tantra, in retrospect, for all the years that I wasn’t having sex I was pursuing other passions and putting a lot of energy into really creative work

how did I ever get on a tantric path, all the times masturbated by myself, I was on a tantric path, I was harnessing my energy and putting into what I cared about even when I wasn’t having sex

learned how to take self into fits of excitement and ecstasy, at that age I ejaculated a lot, so I found every creative way to shoot my cum all over the place

I became my most devoted and delighted sex partner

I had a lot of fun by myself, didn’t know til in college, most guys masturbate with their hand

I actually found it much more pleasurable to fuck the bed, I would writhe and squirm all over soft sheets and make noises into the pillow, I loved ejaculating onto the sheets, didn’t realize that not everybody did that

cultivating an ecstatic whole body practice

when I did find a willing, exuberant, excited sex partner, the ecstasy I had been cultivating on my own 9 years, was over the top with another human being, on top of a wonderful man’s body in Alaska, marvelous orgasm after orgasm for hours, must have ejaculated 4 or 5 times, I was still 22, now looking back, years of whole body jack off fun by myself became the foundation for years of euphoric sexual bliss with other men

the tantric path made itself known to me, overtly around the year 2000, I was 26 years old, had been in a corporate job for several years, traveling back and forth to Siberia, environmental consult to gold mining companies, had no sex life

Still investing in what I really cared about, didn’t have sex partners other than self

sit in closet, get high smoking pot, get out a stack of porn mags, started to noticed even though all my porn mags had women in them, they also had men, loved to seeing men’s cum, loved seeing to men and woman together, undeniable theme

one night jacking of in the closet by myself and said, wow I live in a city of 100,000 people, there must be someone else out there who would love to do this with me right now

ventured out of closet, went to a bar, chatted up the cutest guys I could find and I had hours and hours and hours of mind blowing sex as often as I liked, if there had been any guilt or shame or trepidation, I took 9 years to get over it

when I came out the closet, I came out with flying colors

tantric path continued, something was happening that was not normal, not typical

I would be making love with a guy, no penetration with first 20 or 30 partners I enjoyed, always face to face body to body cock to cock lips to lips, over the top orgasmic, wasn’t any penetration but would find that, would allow self to completely lose myself, didn’t have to hold on to earthly reality, go flying, when I would come to, the men I would be with would be like, “dude I have neighbors”, what do you mean what do they have to do with anything, well you’re making a lot of noise man, what else would I do I’ve waited 9 years to enjoy this

they would enjoy it but they would try to shut me down

I hear this from friends when they make love with women, always concerned with how big it’s gonna be and how loud

at present moment I hold play parties for people of all genders, last play party, all of the noise that came out of my house was the screaming orgasms of women, didn’t hear men making any noise, windows were open, screams going through whole neighborhood

I told everybody in the beginning, it’s spring time its hot windows open, if you’re going to scream and orgasm, consider that a blessing to the people who live here, whatever you’re facing aim that energy into the earth, that it can bless this ground that has suffered so much for so many generations and so that the people near by can be blessed, consider the people on this continent that are hurting and let your waves reach those people

and I heard a lot of screaming from women, because, frankly I don’t know how many places in the world we have sanctuary to really allow that unstoppable orgasm to come out, I really feel it has frightened men for a long time, it frightened many of my sex partners early on

I had never been with anyone, I had only been with my ecstatic self, when nobody was home in my parents house, I was shouting hallelujah, I was screaming because it felt so fucking good, I didn’ tknow anything about holding it back

learned about body electric school in 1999, had been hearing more about this tantric thing

workshops where guys rubbed on one another’s cocks, and they would see colors, and visions , and maybe speak in tongues

room full of men would go into whole body orgasmic bliss but nobody ejaculated

it was really trendy in the 90s, a lot of people talked about it, wow I did it and I saw colors

I could travel back and forth in time, very different than what I was seeing in porn, to this day when I watch porn, still haven’t seen one that shows people having a transcendental experience, where they’re flying above the oceans and swimming with the dolphins while they make love

still waiting, when I make love I get to swim through oceans, I get to hear the whales, I get to smell the salt air, I get to travel through the world and its what I want for people to know more anything is that in addition to being a fuck load of fun to have sex, it’s also a vehicle that connects us to everything alive on the earth, and everything that ever has lived, no such thing as death, people that came before are here alive and we can visit with them, this is the potential of our sex, that I’m not hearing spoken about except out of my own mouth,

my tantra speaker spoke about it when I finally tantra, after the body electric school, where I went to workshops where men rubbed on each other’s cocks like a magic jenie bottle and transcendental experiences

when I was invited to my first tantra workshop I said well what is it, is it a tantra massage and he said no, it’s tantra

you mean tantra is different than massage, he said yeah it is

I went to this workshop in a log cabin, with some one to this day I consider to be one of the most authentic and resonant lineages of tantra that I have found, rudolph valentine

we do this tantra workshop in a log cabin, it’s hot, but there’s a pond and we bathe in a pond

it’s great we’ve done it lots of time, you should come, so I did

12 men there, all got naked, lined up on bank of pond, farm pond with frogs in it, every few minutes, hear them and nights sounds, crickets, we all line up, leader motions for us to take step forward, 12 men take a step into this pond with water up to our chest, remembered grandmother, I remembered her saying she was baptized in a pond, as soon as that thought came to me, the workshop leaders invited us to get into a circle, the two of them got into the center of the circle and they invited the first person to step in to the center of the circle, I thought are they really gonna do what I think they’re gonna do, I decided to go first, I stepped into the circle, one of them put his hand behind my head, the other held my hand, they both looked at me and I knew what was happening, they nodded as if to signal are you ready, I shook my head,i let out a wail, I stood in the middle of this pond with 9 men surrounding me, and two holding me in the center, and I wailed, I felt the sorrow and the disconnection of how I had been to be loved and cherished by a spiritual community and the pain of how it felt to be disconnected from your spiritual roots, in my heart I had a prayer that this time I would embark on a spiritual path that would hold everything that I am and allow me to be everything that I could be, and had room for every part of me, all of me the slut the priest, the father the son the man the woman everything in side of me the dark the light I wanted that path that could hold me, that was what tantra was, that was what tantra meant

I nodded, and they immersed me in the water and I had my second baptism, the first time was inside of a church when I was 6 years old inside of tank, they put you in this paper robe, and they bring you up out of the water and the whole church can see you all wet, with this paper clinging to your body

here I was in the pond, naked being baptized, this is the way to do it

moments in the workshop: looked at one of the teachers and said I’m so glad that I finally met my teacher, what do you mean, you’ve already had a teacher, what are you talking about, because you told me about the person that taught you everything, everything you already need to know about tantra was already taught to me, who was it, he said, your grandmother

my grandmother was a master at finding light in the darkness and master of turning obstacles into means, when I finally did meet my tantra teachers, 28 years after I first met my grandmother they told me the same things that she had, they were just the first to put it into words, my grandmother always had plenty when there was nothing, she had joy even when she lived in hell, she found heaven in hell, I’m sitting right now in the house that she lived and died in

my tantra teachers told me that tantra is the consummation of the inner marriage and while some of us look for a partner outside of ourselves to marry, most of us skip the essential step of finding that partner within ourselves first, I had a lot of time to practice that inner marriage, it’s a never ending relationship just like any marriage

shadow work, all of those pieces of ourselves that we think are ugly that we wouldn’t want others to know

its an instinct, there’s a part in us that isn’t always happy

part of us that feels angry, part of us that feels scared, there’s a part of us that feels enraptured, a part of us that feels enraged, the further we walk on the tantra path we’re prompted to see that there’s a place for all of this, to find the marriage of these opposites, the ultimate journey of what tantra really is all about

one more thing I want to add, I happen to be a gay man, I really love the word faggot, I embrace that word as part of my magic, and I happen to be a faggot who really loves to make love with women who love faggots, have had ecstatically joyful partners who were female, I had to embrace my delight and love of other men, before I could allow myself to be the complete faggot I am in bed with women

had precisely two maybe three ecstatic female lovers, they are female lovers that really love gay men,it’s really helped me to see the perfection that a lot of men who have sex almost exclusively with women, also have the complete right to enjoy sexual freedom with other men without necessarily having to put a label on it

visually when I look at women’s bodies, I can admire them I can appreciate the embodiment of the goddess and yet its way different, it’s not like a look at a woman and go I really want to have that right now, I really only objectify men

what happens with women, I approach it as an opportunity to commune with the divine, pathway that connects us with the divine, it no longer matters how old they are, how fat or thin they are, kinda fem or kinda butch, doesn’t matter what gender they are, if you’ve found source of your erotic expression in yourself and you love erotic expression for the pure excitement and sake of erotic expression it is possible to journey ecstatically and cathartically with a wide diversity of partners, some people ask me, how can you have sex with someone you’re not attracted to

one of my primary lovers is twice my age, I’m in my 40s, one of my lovers is in his 80s, we have some of the most transcendental experiences that I have with any partner, I make love with people not because of the way they look or how old they are, but authentically because I want to commune with the divine, I like to travel I like to transcend time and space, I get a lot of insight and guidance for what I’m gonna do with my life when I’m in that state, that’s why I make love

people say what type of person are you into, what type of person turns you on, I say a person who’s fuckin as excited as fuck to make love with me, that’s the kind that really turns me on, if they’re excited, I’m excited, if I’m excited they’re excited, there’s a resonance, that transcends appearance, age, social class all that bullshit

women, I’m really grateful for women because, making love with women was like, a later stage threshold that I crossed because that was when I really recognized, wow, I can have a transcendental erotic experience, and be a faggot with a person of any gender, I can, it can’t just be anyone, it has to be someone who knows we’re on a journey, and we’re connecting with something bigger than ourselves, if a woman just wants my dick its not gonna work, lots of time I don’t even get hard when I have sex, if I’m in a cathartic whole body state nobodies paying attention to how hard my dick is, that would be a liberating lesson if more men in the world were able to feel that the ability to connect ecstatically with the divine and another human being is completely independent of what they’re cock is doing, that’s radical

some of the most whole body orgasmic states I’ve ever experienced and witnessed were with people who’s cocks weren’t hard, don’t get me wrong I love hard dick AND there are a lot of ways to go into cathartic whole body ecstasy

homophobia…i barely use the word anymore, don’t often feel like I’m battling homophobia, which is a beautiful place to be

our world really does shift with the shift of our inner perception, the transformation of ourselves and planet using sexual pleasure, what I’m really asking of people to invite ourselves to consider that ecstatic sexual pleasure is available to far more of us than we’ve ever dreamed

we feel we need a partner of a certain type, in reality if we join with other partners who recognized that we have the opportunity to fly, to sail through the skies and the seas, experience realities beyond what we see, what meets the eye, we have the opportunity to go into multiple realities, the future on planet earth is that we’re going to see a world more filled with people who are excited about having sex with a variety of partners, less focused on getting hard, ejaculating, and fulfilling a whole checklist of what they think needs to be done to have great sex, and focusing more on oh my god, we have an energy field right now where if we introduce the faintest intention, that is going to manifest, as soon as we say it is done

10 years ago I spoke the impossible, I was in a native american ceremony with 100 queer people and I was asked why I came and I said I want to see the day when our people can fuck and enjoy the fuck out of each other and squirt our seed inside of one another and know we’re actually healing one another not killing one another

full on sexual delight was some how equated with death

I want our people to be able to share our medicine free from fear, healing each other not killing each other, I had no way of conceiving how that would be possible, today there are multiple opportunities for people to enjoy sexual pleasure with people of all genders like never before free from fear, a lot of people are using Prep, they’re taking something that allows them to free themselves from the acute anxiety that has for all too long accompanied them and their sex

not an advocate, or promoter, nor do I discourage people to use things things

the world has transformed, we have sex with each other for healing and health

its what brings us life

what’s coming up, the most exciting thing happening in my tantric path, is the gay tantra podcast

12/31/19 I issued the first episode, it was pretty hard core, it was a hard core sex scene, interspersed with sacred magic, to alert people that raunch, kink, and downright ass fucking is integrated with magic and health and healing, followed with talk with 8 other men, with how tantra relates to sex among men, created an exercise people can do

I’ve contributed to the creation of over 120 evolutionary gay erotic videos, all on my website:

bradamberheart.com

on the home page, I have links to the evolutionary gay erotic videos, gay tantra podcast, soon more links to upcoming events world wide

Jason Tantra and partner, created an app, that allows conscientious gay men who are exploring other realms of sexual magic and healing to meet each other, created at the same time as the gay tantra podcast, master of mind of universe created the gay tantra podcast and tantra4gaymen app at the same time

even if you’re not gay, you just occasionally like to suck dick, listen to the gay tantra podcast

event’s coming up, will be posted on website, announced on gay tantra

series I’m most excited about is a series that teaches people how to use , or harness their sexual pleasure as a tool to connect with higher sources of wisdom and information: transcendental sexuality

receive insight, new knowledge, and information

super excited some of the videos I created are still being edited

it’s a really evolutionary time to live on earth, it’s an evolutionary time for men who are exploring conscious sexuality with other men, unifications happening through colleagues, Jason Tantra, Davey Wavey, collaboration on videos

a network has been created that’s spanning the globe, super excited about gay tantra as a platform

each month an exercise as part of the series, free guided sexercises, more to come

Trick and Treat: Decoding Halloween with Devika the Techy Tantrika TPP219

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Devika the Techy Tantrika Pic

In this episode I’m joined again by Devika the Techy Tantrika for a Halloween themed show where we explore cross-cultural approaches to the spirit world beyond the veil of waking consciousness. We discuss the phenomenon known as “black tantra” and compare notes on how concepts of good, evil, occultism, and more are dealt with in various tantric traditions. We look at the degradation of spiritual intelligence in the modern world, and the implications of turning your back on the spirit world. We question the notions of dark and black as negative and take a less dualistic perspective on the diverse natures of demons. Our discourse on the mystery of the dark goddess Kali leads to an effort to understand and decode the famed history of sacrificial practices. I share a few sensational headlines from the Indian press on scary stories of gurus practicing business as usual black magic to help remind the neo-tantra “bliss bunnies” that patriarchy has plundered the more feminist ethics of ancient shaktism.

About Devika:

Devika J. Singh/The Techy Tantrika is a Tantric Sex and Self-Relationship Coach as well as a Performess. Her diverse creative endeavours as well as her views on holistic sex, intimacy, self-relationship and self-care have culminated into the one-on-one online coaching practice she has today. Devika’s unique take on traditional and Neo-Tantric practices along with her continuous dedication to providing commentary on tech trends that affect the way we date and intimately connect shine through in her YouTube video series where she provides Tantric sex and dating advice to her audience.

You can find Devika’s YouTube sex+dating advice video series at youtube.com/thetechytantrika

Follow her Instagram at:
http://www.instagram.com/thetechytantrika

You can also find out more about her coaching practice and writing at devika-singh.com

Gender, Sacred Sexuality and Spirit Work with Lee Harrington TPP215

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Lee Harrington Pic

In this episode I’m very pleased and honored to be joined by the highly accomplished Lee Harrington, he is one of those very precious “where have you been all my life” kind of sapiosexual soul mates that you feel like you could talk with forever and ever.

I knew this was going to be a deep, profound, enlightening, and transformative journey. His  perspectives on sexual healing, liberation, and empowerment are vast, multi-dimensional, and infinitely thought provoking. I’m looking forward to many ongoing explorations, it felt like we barely massaged the surface.

He shares his personal background of transitioning from being born assigned female to becoming a man,  developing personal practices and group opportunities to experience sacred kink, working as an adult performer, becoming an international sacred sexuality educator and advocate, and so much more.

Our dialog felt like a free-style jam where we riffed off each other’s musings, laments, and future-positive affirmations and visioneerings. It felt like a bit of collaborative improvisational spell craft; all intended to expand love, acceptance, compassion, and co-operation.

We dance with language and he provides insight into ways to evolve the terminologies we use to define “us and them” and when appropriate, transcend to more of a continuum than a dichotomy. I’m hopeful with the application of Lee’s wisdom teachings, we’ll move towards an unprecedented global village where a new “us with them” paradigm will replace the “us and them” and “us vs them” binaries.

About Lee:

Lee Harrington is an internationally known spiritual and erotic authenticity educator, gender explorer, eclectic artist, and award-winning author and editor on sexual and sacred experience. He is a nice guy with a disarmingly down to earth approach to the fact that we are each beautifully complex ecosystems, and we deserve to examine the human experience from that lens. He has been an academic and female adult film performer, a world class sexual adventurer, an outspoken philosopher, is a kink/bondage expert, and has been blogging about sex and spirituality since 1998. His books include “Sacred Kink: The Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond,” “Traversing Gender: Understanding Transgender Realities,”“Playing Well With Others: Your Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Negotiating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities”(with Mollena Williams), “Shibari You Can Use: Japanese Rope Bondage and Erotic Macramé,” and others.  You can find Lee’s podcast, tour schedule, free essays, videos, and more over at www.PassionAndSoul.com

Lose Your False Mind, Find Your True Self & Learn to Feel Good Inside with Craig Lewis TPP214

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Craig Lewis pic

In this episode I’m joined again by long time friend and brother from the heart of the d-i-y punk scene Craig Lewis for a update on his adventures in travel, personal growth, recovery, mental health justice, spirituality, sexuality, and much more.

There are many profound spiritual truths and gems of sacred wisdom shared. I’m always deeply reaffirmed that our shared deep roots in the ethics and spirit of resistance from the punk rock movement have kept us motivated to fight the good fight and love the good love.  It’s invigorating to catch up with Craig and compare notes as we push ourselves ever forward towards our own evolving definitions of what it means to be spiritual warriors.

About Craig:

Craig Lewis is a rebel and he chooses to live his life built on a foundation of gratitude, peace, love, kindness, spirituality, accountability, honor, forgiveness and acceptance. He is currently living in a mountain in Mexico, seeking truth, healing and connection. Without question, Craig continues to rise ever higher on his mission to be the living proof to all, that surviving the impossible, is entirely possible.

Craig recently published his book ‘Better Days’ in Finnish, Dutch, Spanish, Tagalog and Thai, with several new translations on the way including Kiswahili and Italian.  Find out about his many books, posters and more here: Sanityisafulltimejob.org (under construction) and also via email.

Craig actively trains mental health workers, educators, people in recovery (and all interested people) throughout the world and is excited about benefiting your organizations and the lives of all via his experience, wisdom and fearlessness. 

Medium Blog: https://medium.com/@punx.in.recovery
Whatsapp: 528332944654
Punx.in.recovery@gmail.com

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello David Lebovitz welcome to Township on podcast episode number 214 will be getting some major updates from our international Man of Mystery been on the show a few times before Craig Lewis you said old friends are going back many years in the anarcho-punks seen in the more radical conscious seen and he is standing in the world of pure support and mental health and really growing and transcending beyond the the system’s way of administering public policy around mental health and really taking the power back and using a DIY Spirit to do so and last time or what we’ve been since we’ve talked last I know a lot of Adventures have unfolded and and a lot of Mystique and a lot of intrigue so with all that said Craig take it away. What’s been going on with new oh my god brother it’s been I think the last time we spoke was in February to do to do a proper the discussion like this was in February of last year so it’s like I don’t know if 15 months are 16 months ago if I’m not mistaken yeah so yeah man yeah it’s been one heck of a crazy wild ride and I now live in a mountain I am in the south of Mexico and I am in a place it’s a bit hard to get you unless you have any intention to go there you make a plan and I have an apartment I got a place to live that’s affordable and I have a terrorist live off the plants and the mountains all around and hunting birds and cats that visit and live with me I don’t think the language and I’m learning and I’m just for the first time for lots of reasons this finding some sort of I don’t know how to describe it some sort of acceptance of the rationality of everything and finally some sodas thanks and all of it to be able to be in the moment and take that and transform into whatever this I dream about and end desire in a nutshell that’s where I’m at this is awesome and you sound better than ever and I know you’ve been through so much some intense inner struggles and external struggles and now to be at that place of peace and sounds like relative kind of resolution to to be posted up somewhere and then I actually have this is something I’m really fascinated in which is the economics of being a traveler in the in the modern age in the sort of how you can are you figuring out ways to economize with your resources and find ways to make your money last longer by being posting up on your travels places where you can just kind of make it stretch and last longer when can you get into some of the economics of that of that way of life cuz it’s very fascinating to me I’d love to do more traveling myself oh yeah I will check this out, man it’s a freaking disaster III what economics are we speaking of like it’s funny I landed here with a backpack okay I I had a little bit of money to just place to get a house and I’ve been like it’s been a very challenging experience to find some sort of sense of any sort of like this world episodes like some sort of solid foundation on a music and this whole crazy like a year-and-a-half will plus I like all over the world husband Ace Financial how do I describe it I don’t have like a mighty long time ago this is been like I don’t want to I do want to break up Bon Jovi cuz this is been like what we would that when they would sing in 1986 this is what they called living on his neck no other way to describe it because that’s exactly what I know to be true but so this is all crazy like how do you live how do you survive how do they make this happen I don’t think I had a choice and I think the only way I was going to heal and I get to the next place in my life to get to the next place to get to the next place what’s the not know what the heck I was doing and just trust that I did letting you know you know me I give like the roundabout Circle answer that’s like the opposite of the answer you’re seeking or the or the S you would expect or anticipate the question but that’s what you get for me so that’s my answer brother what actually did I half expected something like that where it was more I can see the strategy and being uncertainty Jake and the spontaneity of going where the wind blows you know and in following just moment-to-moment that’s that’s the dream I mean that’s the most Freedom you could ever have is to not be bound to even your own plans of your own expectations of anything in and just really trust a if I’m blessed then I’ll get fed and in Shelter tonight and if I’m not then I’ll have to wonder why with the empty stomach on the cold side park somewhere a man and I don’t like that empty stomach and I also want to just briefly go back a second before I go forward the moment I said that the answer that you were expecting I knew that was the incorrect thing to say and I immediately followed by saying the opposite because I knew that you’re not expecting that it’s like this like comfortable thing that we do when we’re communicating we make use of something that we put into the conversation but actually that’s bullshit you are understanding me more than most people would so thank you yeah crazy life man this whole reality is just you can live and people will see your heart and don’t understand that the language or how you look or you come from or any of these things they don’t matter what matters is that you can communicate from what is truly what they knew in your heart that they will see that and they will accept that and that’ll bring you the protection on the help and the loves and that everything that you need for real I love a man yeah that does that leaves Faith conduct actually reminds me something funny why I say this with all due respect cuz this fellow is one of my dear friends and we’ve sent drifted apart but but we used to be tight Bros and it was funny in a way because he came from a way more stable family and had he works really hard to be an overachiever and I watched him work harder than anybody so I don’t say that he was like a born with a silver spoon in his mouth or whatever he wasn’t he was privileged but he also was pushed to to Really develop himself but she did all the extracurricular activities and did the honours and did all this crazy prep work and and and built himself up so that he could be ivy league material to go to college and then he’d end up finding a program at a state college or State University that that he was happy with and we know I’m happy with location happy with the programming cetera and I me I dropped out literally in sixth grade was in and out of rehab and got maybe another couple of former formal semesters of high school and then dropped out again after that and then I a couple years later I got a GED and then we both end up starting at the same State University together at the same the same time and I had that been the complete antithesis of the discipline and academic rigor that he put in and we both started the same place even though we had to come about it until we different ways but I also was getting straight A’s and was dedicated so I think this is just you know that all that is to say there’s people who are rich and unhappy and don’t know what to do themselves and they’re throwing all kinds of money away and all kinds of drugs and experiences and you’re going at this is international expiration with you’re surrendering to a to the Divine forces that are guiding your your your destiny and that and I’m always impressed I’m always jealous Pac-Man you ear like living it up with the fuck all you got to do and I’m going out there listening who wants to know how to how to do it on doing are you going to do like why am I crazy like I thought I thought I had and this is the opposite of what I however I should I should restate that live your dreams like to be free to live their dreams you have to have like the Living Like Blood Parts select thing beating out of you and you have to take it and learn how to take it standing up and then smile and how does a gold medal physical and emotional heart function but for some reason on Earth why don’t you just finish it down was it yesterday in the morning and you say because I want to know of a solution and all you got is like you and Siri are you going to still that hard up with something of beauty they’re going to just like let it become like like Houston broken and like crap the pieces like a kisses ceramic that shatters and so many ways that you can’t apply the consumer D art form to like naked better to make it more gorgeous from before I don’t want to let it get to that man in so I didn’t it shows different that’s all you can do right on Manuel what does I think that’s a good sort of just catching up with bed and instead of setting the tone butt so tell me what what have you what are some of the the you’ve been through some nightmare scenarios give us some adventurous kind of thrilling updates on the record and say cuz we are because I don’t say it just lost my mind National way for me or anyone in a kind of situations that I found myself in such as being normal and that’s remember I did it start out normal normal I need to really not know what with all those pills in the nozzle Octonauts and not normal shit was it normal that had that brain injury was it normal that everything went crazy wasn’t normal so here I am like at the base of my life or the beginning of my new life not normal and so like I’m just so freaking proud of myself then I’m alive in Christ figure it out somehow that it was okay to be fucked up in the eyes of others that it was okay to like cars had your relationships and your familial connections and your volume note to Garrison in old friends and colleagues at all if that is okay. Burnt to the ground that it doesn’t actually matter I took to stick around that that and I can’t believe you this is just a process like a moment to moment. This is hard to do the Okemos but I decided to be okay with it cuz I like the sound of that word okayness like okay I want to see I don’t want this palatable how to build in my life just want to go to handle something because well it’s not great but thanks for that you know that okayness and dust you choose to be so all this shit this happened man I can admit that I know that some of it looks real wild and it looks one way and it could be another we live in a reality where we look at the freaking news in the United States obviously something is wrong in society is this also confused and 504 West so you know what I got it I got to stay right there you you have just stumbled upon a masterful mine hack and I am seeing from the outside Dimension as you’re saying but basically what you just described is that we live and we live in this world where the ships hitting the fan and there’s a lack of people feeling a sense of okay now and I really feel like we need to become more comfortable with with all week and we need to deal with our shit so we can feel the Okemos if you catch my drift I catch your drift Iko something’s been plaguing me on the inside because through the process I got it I want to admit it putting you and everyone in that everyone if you are not including everyone that’s a funny thing you know why cuz I respect the heck out of you and I’ve been like it’s been such a long exhausting journey of knowing you that for me is included me being embarrassed and people mixed with you who I just noticed this man was like surviving so much better than me and I keep coming this beautiful human being that I only dreamed like 3 years ago or whatever we got to reconnecting and I am pathetic and somehow believe I have you feel like we’re on the same level of me I mean I have nothing but but like respect for you by Prince you’ve accomplished so much and you’ve accomplished things that I am still still dreaming about accomplishing so it’s it’s a mutual you know Mutual sensitive of respect and admiration man it’s always so it’s the way it should be mad it’s like to skateboard is trying to learn learn new tricks together you know thank you man and thank you and the reason why I came I was about to say what I’m about to say this because the process of the journey this is bent for me is not just included me it’s included lots of other people sung by choice and then probably just a son who just ended up in the crossfire of my life because of other reasons that they may may may not have been aware of or been aware of their participation and and and it’s not okay to not swear on the show oh my God they say it’s because because I hurt all the time give a presentation on anyways and so that’s kind of what kind of what works for me man and his wife said that like cuz I look up to you as somebody who has just like refining for himself and it’s showing the whole world like this is what it looks like to be in a process of yourself and be better with better and better and better I was like my God I could never be anywhere near the degree of what are some sleep when you go through the process of becoming you when you’re like burns down and you don’t know what to do in the fall Society is his his his either confused with you you’re a huge mistake the doctor that’s a Schism you just get into situations that could be desperate and you might not know that you’re desperately might not know you getting into you might not know it’s going to happen next cuz how could you and then you get into this situation where you get into things with people with money and then Todd relationship stuff cuz I was like a weird dude already have to learn how to be like in today and all this crazy shit that I don’t know about your kid and like you’re always conduct yourself in the way that you wish and I wish you felt embarrassed that like this like how did you get here like one of these crazy stories amazing stories that I want to share with you a few but it wouldn’t be fair to me to the universe who knows me and watches this happen at the end of my reality who was the recipient or have experienced just knowing somebody in whatever way when they go into the burning down with your going through the process of Awakening that’s an ugly and painful and frankly does a lot of people who got caught up in that and I would every day with the with trying to like become more pure knowing how screwed up things worth time and knowing that your casualties to getting to a better place and that’s just a preface if you will to talk and but all the good cuz frankly like recently somebody had posted something online in response to something I’d written and they said they dude guy Craig I was like yeah really you ask cuz this wasn’t for me I’m in the process of doing fasting from social media and the more I take a step back from it the less I want to return back into that that mine state and f deleted some accounts I’ve just taken some apps off my phone Note sometimes I bring them back or not but I know a lot of the frenzy that you would get sucked into with trolling and drama online at school it’s Way Beyond normal human capacity to have any level of that kind of interaction and so I think everybody got everybody’s got taken for a ride and I think there’s only a few people who who. So I just burnt out but but really Purge that that toxic soup of emotions that comes from being in that frenzy and actually has the wherewithal to create distance so I’m wondering I mean you wrote the book on on peer supported mental health and now it seems like you’re going to have to write a book all about how to either navigate or avoid or moderate social media right wow the funny thing is that a you’re right about the social-media thing dude I want to write letters I think I love the fact that we can communicate and all this shit then it is just destructive Beyond any any you or you do understand cuz we’re taking the brakes and destructive Beyond any capacity that I have to use to find a better word with my. If I may say so Larry man like I totally feel that makes think about it it’s not constructive most the time when you’re not dealing with people who have skin in the game to a point where they feel like they’re they have to be accountable to not overdo insults and overdue criticisms it’s like if you were a tribe living together and you knew everybody everybody knew each other since birth and everybody was mutually interdependent for survival then you would have restraint when it comes to the extent of abuse that you would tolerate that you were perpetuate but when you’re totally disconnected then you have no skin in the game for survival with you with a group of people it is literally the most unconstructive way to process emotions information actual important social issues and Community issues that come up so please man yeah go out let’s just open that can of worms and laments profusely about that I think people need to get some that shaking out of that Paradigm will be well I think it’s constructive thing to do with all this beat it because there’s so many to choose from in my in my soda. I was thinking about that you asked me to write a book about social media like crazy out-of-control the truth is always some truth behind what’s going on that’s funny or not funny or not is that this really happens I like a guy ask you know if I hear you perfect out of control destructive I wish you could see right now and if you like like lights flashing I’m actually having my hands in the air like I am the king of the awful idle control crazy person public meltdown we shouldn’t be who I am today if I celebrate that ships the best baby should be a book or went to learn how to not do what I did cuz maybe my way is not the right way for everyone but the reality also is the Crux of all that is that the freaking internet and that social media chaos that I was unprepared for is it crazy person adult trying to find his way that was destructive they probably not just for me probably thousands of people or more out there who taught Derek distances that collapsed because they didn’t know how to manage cuz how could you learn if you didn’t know how yeah that is so Insidious it just creeps up and with so many things now I mean that it’s it’s cliche to talk about how the dystopian sci-fi of the 1980s which was what really Prime me for being prepared to deal with this time and being a warrior in this time and it digital Warrior and I still despite that training of of being skeptical of corporate fascist media Empires and what not I I live drink of plenty of their Kool-Aid and now I’m really thinking about how much I’ve leaked about my interests my desires that people who have wanted to be involved with romantically and the processes of all that stuff is basically being molested by those social media Giants and and I’m glad that I did not take it to the extreme to let people do which is actually like a lot of negativity and a lot of drama and a lot of accusations and yeah I feel like there’s a state of grace that is refusing to to participate in that in that should have been punk rock an Arco pump DIY 101 I mean we were always rebelling against the mainstream and back then it was the mainstream media and it was the one directional media of of the power elite news organizations and there was ziens and I like the way that social networks online could be decentralised but there was it there was actually an addict his backbone to that where it was people who were peer-to-peer building forums and building networks in chat rooms that were they weren’t being puppeteered by these these forces that are really there to serve the state ultimately to Amy so ever you want to talk about just let us bring this back to it to who we really are a man as like as anarcho-punks who were trained to think critically about technology and about corporate Fascism and the mainstream and then watching and watching ourselves get sucked into it watching other people get seduced and sucked into it and like how do we resist how do we repeal and fucking in Break Free then yeah yeah I respect you all Whenever there were born okay and basically what this comes down to is the difference between a fanzine and a Zine so we grew up grew up in this like reality where your existence fish eat that text that need within your soul and your spirit your heart to have an understanding to connect with the world in a way that brought you the feeling of like you belong that you were part of something that mattered that was what we call fancy right if you want to like try to give a little bit of a I don’t have described it with the word is a metaphor I don’t know when there’s also looks like her internet and then I just went over that and then it’s not meant to or with your is a 2018 something like that it is the difference cuz in the context of social media excetera that. That’s a defined difference between when you are living in an era an era where you haven’t desperation that is coming from this blooming devastating oppression that I have a sense about cuz we know as opposed to living in an era in a society where you yourself are being basically programs and I’m not trying to talk about some sort of like cuz we don’t we can’t see it happening is happening in Plainview people to be trained to be a certain way so that’s why you were programmed to almost beat our own enemy and what we were going up with back in the day and I’m just going to help my do by David Guetta in the late 1980s I’m not going to beat around the bush here about that it was different we tried to communicate and understand and learn and educate and Shear in very different ways that did teach us a way to be in the world that I’m certain you will agree allowed us now we have success as I’d like free people quote the same doing and be because we’ve learned in in times in through methods that were popular then and almost unheard-of now up the punx to that brother yeah man it’s funny cuz this whole thing about fake news it’s like back in my day was all fake news what he’s talking about like you wouldn’t trust any new source anyway and there it is just as weird commingling now everybody being sucked into the Demi celebrity trip to of of the the platforms that make you yawn I’m I’m kind of in recovery from from drinking the Kool-Aid to man sex you want to keep up with it that we were ejected all that and anyway I don’t want to get hung up on that on that topic but I know that a lot of the suffering that you have disclosed to me privately comes from just being Dogpile on the internet you know yeah it’s because I started get rid of all those people where they got rid of me or with mutual or it wasn’t but either way it happens does it is disconnected people don’t make you feel good and just I just it’s Ash and it that have to happen if I feel personal about anything I ever did cuz I did was like face reality here but not always been an easy field person and that I had to use I have to push people away because of my own craziness and Highway but nonetheless coming to bite my tongue well yeah sounds like you have a healthy sense of taking responsibility for things as one thing I love talking about is if there’s no there’s no bifurcation really in your personality you know you are who you are and you don’t the candy coat that very often sounds like for people to get in love it or leave it for one moment I want to make a statement here at that you’ll agree it’s okay I’m completely I’m completely nuts and I’m definitely if you can put this in quotes but I mean I propose cuz it’s I think it’s a great courses true and in quotes right here I’m good crazy I think for the first time in my life like yeah so what I know this is a bit crazy like I can look so what about yesterday right now and tomorrow and the next day I could just make more good crazy happen I’m so sick and tired of that crazy and I could learn to hold burning down of everything so I could get rid of that bad crazy what do I do whatever I have to do including and a much to the weather for next to the disdain for the right word but it’s good enough I come from it with truth which makes it pretty hard core but also I’m doing it because I don’t want to have it be an issue anymore so that’s craziness go out of control on the internet and then have a V8 if you will occur Abernethy Bridge with some that is very necessary if you need to heal then so be it but I’m also purifying so deep deep traumatic abuse that I experienced and if I’m not going to have a really group of participants or people in my life is one of his old stuff it’s still going to come out and I sure as heck ain’t going to end my life because our or go crazy in a way that’s going to get me locked up in a bad way Lawrence OB I’m going to put my shit out there I’m going to speak the truth and I’m going to let let that be how people figure out what’s up what’s not what matters and what doesn’t button in no way shape or form do I do any of this because I want to it’s because healing comes from getting out of your system to things that aren’t making you feel toxic and that can include interpersonal stuff you can food a thousand different things and I and not going to be silent if being sounds will keep me sick so speaking truth whether its preferred welcomed or not it is actually putting an end to the hurt and that that does also result in and include who serving of ties with many sometimes it’s unfortunately intentional but who matters here for me more than me just like anyone anyone else is the matter for them most at first you need to matter to themselves first and then most importantly so that’s life and I’d rather just choose the most Ford and let the let the heck’s come because the more I get hit the more I’m sure I’ll Never Smile act like its neck and that right there I believe that everyone else had the world to learn how to do and it’s Graham said out of would never put this on lips Alston and Lasting here sorry I go on and on I’m not sorry actually grateful for that time the more people learn the Dakin’s like punched and kicked their way out of the traps that they feel themselves and that doesn’t mean that’s because if it’s a whole process of getting yourself to where you need to be I want everyone to know that everyone can do that it’s going to suck but if I can do this in a Hertz at continuing low I mean living evidence that you can continue to land on your feet than everyone else can too and I don’t care for what I have to say you can do to go live your life and do the best you can be in frankly that’s what I’m doing so fuck off but still please do your thing so you can have everything that I’m going to yeah that was a time and experience as each day goes forward to live in that happiness cuz I want it and you can have the same thing so like fuck I’ll see you later come on back whatever but piece that sounds good man well I know some people who were listening to same I feel kind of lost on what what it is what kind of dancing around here if you don’t know how I know you know you can obviously be as candid or as reserved as you’d like but I feel like it is I would say correct me if I’m wrong but in a broad sense you you stood up to seven justices in the world and that kind of cause the shitstorm of not okayness that week but you prevailed your okayness prevailed over there not okay Miss in the midst of a shitstorm online and not just on its just oh my God can you break that down for us to whatever extent you know isn’t they’re breaching confidentiality or probably not actually not in jeopardy. The funny thing check it out how about I have the moment there who doesn’t you think you have to do when you produce this thing later that they released you have to just two levels and now you know you might take a note oh my God yeah man and just try to keep it brief cuz I can’t be a maniac about this I got to try to come best light for my good for yours in the whole world that you’re you’re Mania Mania Maniac don’t know what was basically I got freaking screwed for doing my job and it’s okay I went to work I was working as a mental health worker I loved what I did and he might stem from the first report back to the Survivor background I was trained and frankly Grant I’m glad it all happened because I couldn’t I don’t have a day job working someplace and having a bad Vibe by the rules of the system which ultimately dictate working in another house feel like I was I was working at this mental health place that was running all about people live experience week we’re all certified peer specialist I love what I did and was your place different part of the state but I buy a new company little did I know that the guy I was working with what’s the sticker McDonald’s scary misogynist I wasn’t familiar with like that degree of creepiest and I was also supposed to be professional and I was getting paid and I had to work another place you working at the mental health worker you have to adhere to certain rules and guidelines of course cuz if you don’t I’ll call Nicole borders new teachers Nursery School teachers in a kindergarten doctors excetera East you have you aware of abuse of a person or in your care if you will or but you have suspicions of it which is also legitimate your required by law in laws law whatever you can take it or leave it what lies you believe in cuz look in the United States right now it’s crazy how ever this is something that we all hold true when you working in the in the human services are helping professions that said it was my requirements that I had no choice to make a report because there was a situation that just frankly was as it turned out was bad this is not an acceptable thing for some people that I expose this in a series of extremely disgusting things occurred and I ended up looking like the bad guy and they really made this The Narrative we will and papers well and ultimately they found out that the report I made was true they found out to the guy that I’ve reported was documented by independent clinicians Adams facility that didn’t work for a company contract in this pretty I’m kind of providers giving groups support groups and then they knew because my report was the same as theirs and they never put it to the facility that my report was already known so they knew they had a guy in there who was behaving a predatory waste for months for two months then he got caught again but but other people who documented the sexualised behaviour and once they had found out that my report was true of any of the guy who is the supervisor my supervisor without telling anybody. Even the assistant director of the HR Director secretly after I didn’t report and it put it back into the same place where I’ve reported what he was doing then he got caught again twice too much later I feel like I’m describing once they had knowledge that I was telling the truth well that wasn’t acceptable and that was the end was me as I knew it was the end of my career as I knew it it was the end of everything I knew and this is during the same time. That after 28 years of my life being intentionally harmed by psychiatric medication for the purpose of keeping me quite I was able to get off of all this I cash medications in fact with the insistence of a team that’s more than one psychiatrist insisting that it was a medication making me sick and they need to take all the diagnosis on my file and the whole nine yards man 20 years of my life on a bunch of bulshit give him his pills and you need sick many everyone throughout my life experience 28 years I mean tonight to you need when I met you in person at all the crazy thing happened at that show moving forward but this is all under the clown under the fog of psychiatric pills that were given to me to shut me out to keep me quiet about Happy with a child adapt a bunch of psychiatrist now when that time. Ike 2008 1314 look at my medical documents and look at me and look at the book I can read and look at how everything does not make sense and say you don’t have these conditions that you’ve been medicated for all your life that it was known you for 28 years as a person drugged you need to go out these pills cuz they are making you sick you’ll never have a chance to have a better life to continue to take the pill this is being sent to me of yet by psychiatrist is it we’re changing what your diagnosis on your medical record you do not have these conditions and I went and I saw my primary care physician in the file and right there just as they said debunks debunk ebox trauma course the charm is there cuz well that’s what happens if you 20 years to be confused this thing with the job is happening at the same time. That I’m getting off these pills and I’ve gone to heels with vinegar text mountain people that my community are angry at me also just left me for side of my job and then I go to Europe for the first time the person I was traveling with to give a presentation a t a take a conference I first time ever going to Europe dream come true after that conference I went into a sauna and Upsala I managed to me within 10 minutes my body had had basically detox rapidly and from it within the fat cells in my body after 20 years of taking psychiatric medication like tearing off the doctors help I did Poison myself in Riga Latvia and I was never the same since I started to slur my words and I was fried more more crazy stuff happen ultimately with all resulted from this is that I lost my home in January 2018 that’s my cat January 2018 I already lost most of my friends call these people thought I was crazy I got into Financial stuff also get social things like most my friendships are getting more and more the tax I lost a bunch of my personal stuff and most people like it truly care about and I still do you know what a live with no real idea what I’m going to do to try to listen to travel the world and find a way to create a new life find a way to connect with other people to find a way to Love by the way to connect by the way I create a new business and Nueva to survive using the foci are offered in different languages and also the English language like you crying and Kosovo you know it Poland and and giving presentations are in and talk circles in in in in you name it healing from trauma healing from abuse how to survive being possible he has been crazy sometimes I misunderstood all the time trying to learn how to be because I never learned as a child I never had a coming-of-age I was drugged for 14 on to all the cells have the same time I totally feel comfortable in my own country I don’t think I can work this is presents about me just like it’s like psychosis around me that like this guy why was he sick while he was mentally sick of these other word but in fact maybe I was drugged how can you explain to somebody week like that wasn’t you it wasn’t me but it looks like you sounds like you I can’t quite I said the pills pills were what were making me so fucked up or how am I supposed to know the difference your right respect all I can do is say you’re right you experience that crazy shit with me and that was real few doesn’t matter if it wasn’t me it was because of I was poisoned for my own good of course that’s what happened so I can only say goodbye and I can’t change that to this is the reality the past four years is always have these things happening in the world disconnected from people from people that have no more going to call ain’t going to call anybody you know is going to pick up that’s how do you find whis when you don’t feel comfortable in your own land cuz you your language is English it’s a dominant language in the world and and you’re a guy easy to just try to reconnect after all these years of chaos you supposed to be a certain weight verifications of you you can escape to past so what are you do what did I do what the heck out of there as I said travel the world very difficult very painful very lonely very hard very beautiful and in that 15 months how do they communicate with people with languages that we do not share what do you do how do you find your weight you can’t just go crazy like I did in a couple years was the way somewhere West getting killed in the airport in Paris I lost my shit you can’t do that you have to learn how to connect on a spiritual level that you can’t communicate people will know your energy just like a cat or a dog you can’t let them experience you went away that you’re going to be repelled by how you learn how to do that how do you learn that’s what you learned and that’s what the story that’s what the backstory is the backstory is a story it’s like five or six what’s it like in your own way with wreck somebody happening at the same time and just by the grace of whatever it is you believe I resulted it was Ulta didn’t me finally getting to the point of saying screw it almost going to go live why can Liz get a Visa they did and take a little money had and get a a place that was furnished and so I did and how I live in a community and I need some friends and that’s the story that’s that’s what you’re asking me it’s like a 15 minute monologue but that’s what the story is it should make enough sense of all this meat is missing tons of pieces that music house ugliness lost torture resulted and be speaking about all we have prior to keep me answering the question if it was up to them that being a store that I can talk about with a smile and with some sort of like humor because I know what resulted in like where I’m at now thank you so what is the advice you have for people who are whistleblowing in organizations where it sounds like sounds like you were is a recipe for disaster in that because anyone could say that your credibility under those circumstances everybody in a situation is the pot calling the kettle black and in a sense so for people who are direct me totally just a source of your strength to overcome oh my God it was it wrecked me I can’t believe them alive direct me so much that I’m laughing about it because it’s like well at the very least it’s always warm here like every piece of shit wasn’t nice to me back in Massachusetts I guess what in the winter you going to pay for that heat and for those of you out there who struggle so I don’t have to deal with that anymore thank you thank you I could have stand I’m coming around to this myself which is that I feel like there is there was a time where I felt like I had to go out there and I had to add jatate and and have a high risk tolerance and a high risk appetite for being involved in the potential for liability of the potential for things sort of backfiring it in in in in doing my work and now I feel like I survived some pretty epic chapters of risk and now I’m finding myself more risk-averse and less risk tolerant and wanting and actually being able to say no but I’d rather not put myself at risk by not that I’m totally disengaging from everything but I will say that that the the duty that I felt I had to be out there in the mix of a lot of chaos I don’t feel that that I feel like I I slay that Dragon I slay those demons and and I can live with myself comfortably not feeling like a coward and not feeling like I was avoiding those those efforts and I wondering if you feel now and it is something that make people can resonate with that they can learn powers that you know you don’t have to fight every battle you can choose your battles as long as you fight some battles and even if you don’t win you survive but you know you did what was right you don’t have to keep doing that forever and you can get yourself the fuck out and go and retire from The Madness of fighting a lot of struggles where it’s a losing battle sometimes and you can just enjoy the face so you know live to fight another day you know you know they say Don’t run you can run away and live to fight another day or you could stay in a place that you’re not going to get out of one piece nnn regret it so I don’t know just want to say that I congratulate you for for doing the right thing and then getting a fuck out of there before you did actually get completely destroyed you know yet well you know what me and your trusty Craig motherfuking Lewis you know that’s what happens when your trusty Craig fucking crazy person Louis I just don’t need that to be sampled probably just got myself some was going to have fun with me with that but that’s okay it doesn’t have a certain that what was the question Bedford just let me be me to take two more of a general commentary and sense of wanting to see the bigger picture which is that sometimes I guess I was seeing if I feel the same way about the politics of insurrectionary Street protests and you put yourself out there and you put yourself in a meat grinder lot of people do and they end up in really serious trouble that they didn’t bargain for that it’s not really sustainable certain forms of resistance are not really sustainable there’s new waves of of people who are going to come up into that but you have to know when to win to what’s the country song what’s the country song when you know how to hold them oh my God yeah it is you don’t talk about anything yeah yeah quit while you’re ahead and I was going to quit while I was ahead I should have just never done shit about the so I made a decision take out the stand on my two feet and stand up when I knew was true and for what I knew was the correct thing to do and to what someone ever did for me when I was 15 years old and then that horrible facility being feminized and section leak destroyed and and and humiliated and have a whole life taken when I was 15 in those two so they locked me up in just got too many times I had no way weather right I didn’t even know if I believe in the Universal God whatever they want to call it if I want to call it whenever I look to you for my my my my my my peace I didn’t know dude in 2015 that’s what I was doing that was a sending that to a better place cuz of what all I was experienced by me throughout my life but there was no way there was no way any any shape or form that I was going to permit and using my legally-protected role as a mandated reporter there was no way I was going to permit what I was witnessing happening in front of me to people who were the victim of assault and simple ways I was when I was a kid and when I was a kid I asked for help and no one helped me I would love to rot and take it there was no way and 2015 that I was going to break from my responsibilities and I just didn’t legal responsibility responsibility responsibility but the opportunity to make sure using my power that I had been given by becoming certified to work in the role of I had been working in there was no way I was going to go to deviate from that there was no way I was going helping that individual with a moment of peace when I was not afforded the very same thing that I deserve as much as everyone who’s ever been a situation like that woman was deserved and I stood in my two feet and I would do the same thing right now again because it was the right thing to do and I will always go to look myself in the mirror and a camera and whatever I never that was right now looking forward to move on and it doesn’t matter that like I got crushed in the process and it come on how many people are going to listen to this I thought his back but I want to hear about like awesome stuff like so what like what kind of fool of myself are so funny and it’s true what kind of fool thinks it’s a good idea business right now you all know them for one important reason it is important as a valid and it’s to be honored and respected but it does not mean you should do business-to-business okay and you don’t do people like yourself what’s a crazy people that word with deep affection Love because as professionally as I previously identified I want to be good crazy so maybe good crazy so that’s where I go to stay However maybe not everyone’s good crazy maybe I’ve not always been good crazy not truth what a terrible idea to work intimately with people cool ultimately it’s true cuz he went to humans ultimately it will save their own skin for doing the right thing because not everybody is not their fault it’s the reality is reality. Everybody grows up with like a street addict or knowing how it is to be closer to the bottom and I fortunately or unfortunately I am how you stated feeling perceive things many of the people that must have people that I was involved with what are of a higher class if you will or better way of living or a different kind of environment that allow after Sosa to delete it I never had it so I don’t blame them for Being Human but certainly did lack of understanding of what it meant to do what was right was more within me as a person who was straight talk and someone who grew up in just I guess nicer and perhaps more supportive of surroundings which I did not Amen brother that’s the truth right on that what I think yeah we should I think we should call it a show at I was at Adventure I was expected nothing less than and definitely you delivered on bringing bringing the the the healthy crazy that healthy and powered acknowledgement of what it takes in like hey was the word of of CO2 I remember that song Still if we’re never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy right so I believe that I believe it I feel it I’m the same way I’m definitely letting go on some innovations that have helped me back and I’m feeling more free and more wild and less less compromising to people who may not agree or understand what I’m trying to do and there’s a way to there’s a I think there’s a way you’re proving it and I’m I’m catching up to you honestly about getting to a point where you just you give no fuks about being a walk in your truth in speaking your mind and people don’t like it they can they can shove it up their okayness yeah and I’m okay with that closing statement a lubricated sex toy and gently massage it as they relax the sphincter into their anus until they filled okay no I don’t want to use shoving it up your ass says this is your word is because on the township on podcast we are all about putting the anus back into Okemos and putting the penis back into happiness all right have you seen the movie the interview Seth Rogen when they go to North Korea and they interview the North Korean dictator they say that they hate us cuz they ain’t us all the ants talk is that this is going to be listened to and I can ask around closing statement obviously my lots of curious people about Craig Lewis and better days and all this crazy nonsense stop podcasting a plus with all the craziness it’s hard to get work when you’re up when you’re allowed muffins supposed love for myself it’s awesome but all the people are the characters in the world I want to see I love you and I’m grateful for every person who has ever existed in my life including every person who has not been nice to me with every person who is abused me iPhone I am quitting the worst ones and I don’t want you all my life but I do forgive you because that’s the best for my. You’re my love for myself and also I just also think it’s very relevant necessary because I know this would be listen to cuz people whose voice and I’m staying right now will you love me or hate me or whatever it is it’s okay it’s okay because things have been crazy and I wouldn’t want to have to hang out with me sometimes the way things were but I can’t imagine being someone else it was horrible I was going through a living you know what I don’t want to say that word because I choose to like try to be better doesn’t mean that always succeed as you all know that you can I I’m grateful to be here today laughing about it crazy just going on I think some things that come out of my mouth that bow that’s pretty intense stuff sometimes I like using my brain is sometimes you say things that are little bit much so what I’m grateful to be here now I’m grateful to everyone if I’ve hurt your feelings or offended somebody will the problem with a reason but I also feel like that’s not okay so I do apologize for being hurtful because when you’re fighting a battle and you feel like you’re you’re experiencing or you’re proceeding being under some sort of Oppression you do things are sometimes don’t always make sense and you fight me ways that not everyone’s going through Fluevog so I will recognize this truth that goes for everybody including how I’ve communicated with you in the past and I have not been easy so this trip this accountability this acceptance of yes it’s not been pretty getting to this place and I am I in a gray spot now I’m working on it and it’s because I chose to be what I wanted to be and I tried to walk my talk and my Straight Talk sucks sucks sucks so I’ll leave you with this liked my dear friend and be host to talk about just suggested you can just get that lubrication and like jet me like take care of with best the love that you deserve because you deserve to feel good inside and however you find a way to feel good inside I know the tundra parked behind and I think it’s fair to say that I’m behind that to oh my God that sounds crazy that wasn’t even planned that I’m sorry but yeah oh my God I think it’s happened in my brain and that was thank you Universe this is crazy I don’t know what to say if it doesn’t get any simpler than put the anus in Okemos and put the penis and happiness and we will all be living in it beer peace more peaceful or more fulfilling more abundant world man so I think that’s that’s that’s what I asked what it comes down to and and I store is the next time I bought the world travels but that’s what I thought that’s what the best and I want a wonderful rest of your evening and we’ll be in touch again soon I love you so much and I love you so much for listening to the touch of Time Podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition assassini and improving the podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple after bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email said I turned your punk. Com Thomas gay

Designing Conscious Music, Film, and Fashion with Calvin Bliss TPP212

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Calvin Bliss pic

Deep Inside Video:

In this episode I’m joined by my dear friend and creative brother Calvin Bliss for an exploration of his personal and our shared conscious designer multi media projects. We take a journey into the past to remember the great times that bonded us on the dance floor, in the garden, in the music studio, and beyond. It was an exquisite joy to take the time to really honor where we’ve come from, what we’ve accomplished, and how we’ve influenced each other’s evolution as artists.

We then explore his “Deep Inside” track, it’s origin story, a behind the scenes on the music video shoot, and general advice and technical insight on the art of film making and music production.

His new clothing line Elf Tech is introduced and he shares about his journey into the ure, fashion and apparel space as an extension and evolution of his diverse influences in art, culture, spirituality, community, neo-tribalism, eco-futurism, and more.

About Calvin:

Calvin Bliss, AKA: Photon A.D. has been writing music for over a decade, splicing mind-bending glitch grooves over surreal soundscapes overlaying a funky beat. His performances focus on the genres of psybreaks, breakbeat, psytrance, and tech-house. He has played prestigious festivals such as the international Tribal Gathering in Panama, as well as a renegade cruise ship party and a set at the Brown Vortex on Halloween.

Photon A.D. takes his listeners on a journey through sound into the core of their being, uniting minds and hearts in an optimized flow space, fueled by his love for yoga and expanding consciousness.

Among manifesting a delectable dance music career, Calvin also has interest in filmmaking and directed his own music video for “Deep Inside,“ a feature Photon A.D. production. When he isn’t in the studio, Calvin enjoys practicing yoga and attained a Yoga Teacher Training certificate in Rishikesh, India.

www.elftechapparel.com
Instagram: @Elf_Tech
http://facebook.com/elftechapparel/

AI Generated Transcription:
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin Calvin blessed who has lots of wonderful wisdom and stories to share and we’re going to reminisce a little bit about our origin story together and in the very important. Powerful instrumental role he’s played in in my journey and just want to start off by saying that we both met within the the Psychedelic trance music underground in La back around 2011 and shared a lot of action and envisionary Consciousness around the potential that side trance can have to really help people heal and grow and build community and yeah we’ve been able to collaborate on music and just support each other really is Brothers over the course of many years and so yeah what stands out to you or anything you want you like to share about the early days and now it’s been a few years since we’ve been we’ve been going at it cast of ever been on so yeah thanks for your warm Hospitality but yeah I mean already back in the day and I remember it basically I was like sitting on my couch and I knew this party was going on and I was like I would say I was leaning like 40% towards going and like 60% towards not going and then for whatever reason I just decided to go and yeah and then it was a pretty cool party and then I met you there and I think I just like interrupted some conversation you were having with someone because I heard something interesting you were talking about and then yeah that kind of decision just get off the couch they’re like really kind of changed the definitely the course of my own how way I think about things and lots of other stuff so right on. Yeah I remember that night like it was yesterday and we were talking about really applied psytrance early in a sense of ever being like an open source technology where you could be it could be applying these beats and applying this Rhythm and energy to to actually build Villages build ecovillages together and and take it Beyond just the experience of the dance floor and actually put it to practical use sand in life in and we were just always gives out on kind of hacking site transfer for cultural transfer patient and it’s been a wild adventure since then and certainly you know we’ve added a lot to each other’s lives and I say you know I haven’t felt so much camaraderie in the music kind of romance since I was an early teenager getting in the punk rock and metal you know since then I’ve kind of like lost the passion for those movements to feel like there’s two alcohol and too much on consensual sexuality and just kind of kind of tired and stale politics and but yeah I meant to find to find a really rejuvenating invigorating life-affirming new paradigm / ancient Paradigm of shamanic trance techno music that was conducive to Tantra and conducive to yoga all that stuff matters like a whole new I don’t know who I would be or where I would be without you without you know having share this experience and and I haven’t really shared that experience with too many other people a lot of people you meet on the psytrance dance for you know you’re all in it in the moment you’re all in that present moment but but you don’t always connect outside of that you don’t always you know buddy up beyond that so I just want to again there’s some quote where like you know two people are like these chemical substances you know and their interaction like makes this totally new saying you know this anyway I probably super butcher that quote that says we not the quote but you know it’s just there’s some people that like ignite the spark with each other and yeah I’m really happy to have met you back then and now do you remember that sting you made it was like we’re sitting in the room at this Ranch you’re working on and you’re just telling me about this idea and I think we’re kind of like just expanding this idea together but just of like having sort of like a way to listen to music and do like work together and like we’re like all but we don’t have any speakers blah blah blah and then I was amazed because you just like likes for me like I was just like this like really bad idea but then I see you like in 5 minutes like I’m going to get some tea and I come back and you’re like on a computer hacking some stuff together with some Skype thing and like you like literally made the thing that was just like the idea to me and I think that’s that’s really cool like you know that that you can just kind of connect those ideas like to actually a the physical working thing is that at that point in my life honestly like I had so many just kind of dreams that we’re just like well yeah that be a really cool idea or you know stuff like that but like yeah you definitely kind of opened up the door way to showing me like some of these ideas we have are actually you know a lot easier to execute them that I would think so yeah that was really cool system like we were the couple that what you’re saying it’s like I would not have probably done it and I needed you and I needed that sense of you know it’s like being kids and figuring out that you can put a what connect a wire to two two cans of beans and have telecoms across your ear tree houses and talk after your bedtime you know it was that level of fort building excitement you know me as a mutual a mutual thing like you said and back actually when I was playing playing in Punk and metal bands it was me and this other guitarist and pee in one time somebody who said man you guys are like peanut butter and jelly and it’s a good way of putting it but but yeah man for sure that that was the vibe and and yes might my my kind of mad scientist ideas like Doc Brown kind of idea was to be able to synchronize and create a more harmonious workflow and prevent injuries on like permaculture landscape installations were if you have work Crews shoveling meal together to try to keep it afloat if they don’t bang shovels or or scrape each other and in the end he certainly when you’re turning your back and lifting and things you know the more Rhythm you can have working in teams the better and that’s proven out through all of all of the traditional cultures in the world is still have songs and works on his or whatnot so we can see what we lack that in the West for sure at this point it’s been kind of kicked in crushed out of us but I had this passion about side translate well we could so beautiful and we do not ask for what if we could do that in the garden what if we could do that it when we’re building structures in building ecovillages it would be so great but but we need a way to actually also communicate and you can’t the music is pound and then you won’t have the ability to like communicate verbally about safety or about you know just on a construction site you wouldn’t want to be specially if someone is on the other side of the top of your lungs over the music to try to like talk to them for solving that problem technically was the notion of what what if we can use this early stage smartphone technology to actually run a Skype call and and use it as a third-party plugin to to synchronize and load an MP3 file cuz you couldn’t just like stink it up across a hundred people but they had that thing at the time I think of Silent disco but I don’t think the silent disco had like a walkie-talkie intercom build then so this was this was a hack to get that to happen and then I remembered the moment that that we tested it is like I think something you know it took a couple of tweaks and it kind of work and I didn’t work and then when it fucking works like a football field away from each other doing separate tasks in the Garland jamming to the same beat at the same time and and dancing and talking and it having it be the dream the dream come true my love I think I think that was just a row it’s like 10 minutes before and then it’s like whoa this is really working like dude you’re a genius right now and like like to just literally like I’ve seriously felt like you know like a kid on Christmas because I was like wow I’m dancing to this awesome music right now my friend over there like way over there is dancing the same as you basically built like a silent disco thing which you know those setups are like pretty costly and you’re really technical the bill but you basically built one and then not only that we had this intercom thing to where we could like actually talk to each other and yeah it was like so cool the old dude like check out these lasers on this song and then yeah so that was like really cool so that was my first experience with realizing how how genius you are and how you can like really start creating that reality that I think I think it’s not just you and me and a lot of other people have started kind of like having these glimpses of these visions of this kind of like new paradigm and it was like you had just like turn that glimpse into like wow this is her real tangible experience and it really honestly like can we like what apps are million times more you know advanced in and have to look into it again I just it’s been weird just haven’t been bouncing around so much not having a the real playground to be able to to on that that 16 acre acre ranch to be able to to to really the only thing we couldn’t do there was actually blast the side which I have I don’t think you have I think you have we had just yet you had just barely missed that and are aware I was doing an urban Garden Inn in La I built this whole garden go basically like a burning man style camp on the top of the asphalt at this South Central LA giant Punk Warehouse complex and artist complex and and and there because of the industrial zoning I was allowed to bump the psytrance pretty much 24/7 I don’t know how the people didn’t kill me for getting sick of it but they let me they let me get away with that get away with it and I saw pictures and then some footage there but but that was where I had gotten in that zone if I had just been spending like a year literally bumping psytrance everyday and gardening with it like the secret life of plants and knowing that the whole ecosystem is just totally vibing on and people just watching people come in there and start dancing and fucking shaking it you know shaking the booty chakras and like grabbing some strawberries and just having it all be such an organic thing but but yeah this is like I think it’s all foreshadowing and you know to I was just is this sounded is not more watching you work and you’re a wizard castle of a of a studio making beats and then just dazzling me with your crafts and a video production in and just damn that we just had we have had continually have these bucket list of things to accomplish I think you know yeah I just want to make another note about how you really helps the music of Township on get started from the very first track and you were a Believer you were the first and and and only as Spirit Tasha Punk believer even when I didn’t have the confidence to to believe it would go anywhere or do anything but I certainly felt like I had I had been burdened with this track. I didn’t know what to do with us and you helped put the first beats to it and and yeah we had a sort of creative adventure with Sue Fiona and that that is is held up to this day and really yeah you’re part of that core Collective man so it is really I was like cool that sounds awesome like psytrance goddess worship with awesome vocals Like lyrics like that’s pretty different and honestly though at this at this point I think maybe this is about honestly like a year and a half or two years after I really started producing music so I always kind of just starting to get comfortable with like all this technology I used to actually make the music but I think the one thing that kind of really helped help with that process was I would when I would start like a new song or something I would always like right down on a piece of paper what my intention was for that song Or kind of like what I wanted it to represent or the feelings involved or like yeah like the feeling I wanted to invoke with people so I was super happy to help you and try it and yeah basically we ended up in like my tiny little closet Studio up in this literal Castle in Malibu is on a Mountaintop is pretty cool but yeah we recorded vocals and we ended up trying to do it but then I actually asked you to write down your intention and I was like kind of expecting it to be like you know like oh here’s like a little a little blurb of an intention but your intention was so thorough and like is so details and it it took up accutire page of paper but I think just setting that intention like actually I I think what happened is I didn’t quite have the technical jobs still like finish that song with you I was just you know getting lost in the error messages on the computer stuff and more like some weird thing would happen right so I didn’t end up really finishing that song with you but I think like that process of setting that intention when when we are beginning I think that helps like carry the song onto and I like its next few incarnations yeah that was the that was the garage days that was the the demo version and then someone who came through the psytrance community who who was our an elder to us really in it and someone who has actually like a professional sound designer sound engineer professional mat McHugh he is just one of those guys at that level and he he had I baste a week that’s almost like we did that demo and then he was almost like the equivalent of Capitol Records taking over engine producing at United mean so like we were I wish I would have been nothing without you and then nothing without me and then and then really nothing without him all the stuff works and you know we’ve always said we’re always on a destiny if you know there’s another I remember one time once I started for sing in Fruity Loops you know I was really really primitive and really having no clue whatsoever but you sent you sent you don’t not been producing too much PSI for a while and then you busted out this track that have this really haunting but really enchanting melody in and I totally ripped off of that end in and kind of started to try to figure out how to replicate the bass sounds and and get that sort of thumb that semi distorted it is it’s been a lot of fun just exploring the art form and sharing ideas and and you’ve come so far and I am still so far I mean not too early but it’s like yeah you you got the chops man and so do you want to talk about four people NCAA you know how that goes because yeah I think I’m definitely way more knowledgeable with the software and everything and yeah I was thinking of psytrance man I I heard your new album just the other day and I congrats man it’s great it’s that had some really awesome like moments in their eyes just like shaking My Butt Went Psycho to see you come quiet quiet quite a ways since like you know not even producing stuff yourself at all to like during like what three albums now like yeah it’s awesome so yeah congrats on that or you in that at all. Thank you mental it again all comes back to that that Brotherhood that we shared and me watching you work and me just fucking being blown away and be like I got to learn how to do that like skater like I said skaters skaters who show up and now I got the new kickflip you know I’m like no way I got a fucking to get that down you know what I mean so there’s that healthy expiration competition of like trying to keep each other sharp on things and and yeah man like you the I became such a purist with psytrance that I just got across many different genres do you want to talk talk about your let’s talk about your your Evolution and in float on a d and raffle should be looking at how they can check into Canadian really varied interests in electronic music for quite a while and I think when I met you I was just like sort of coming off this like dubstep typed vibe and personally I had kind of a big issue with dubstep at the time because it was just really I think I think that the phrase they used to describe it is called Transformer vomit but there was a lot of things that I just felt it was just overly harsh and overly sort of masculine energy so I kind of in my inner ear I had kind of started hearing auditory vision of a new type of dubstep that would be I don’t know what sort of a blend between like that kind of heavy sound and then also sort of like some of those really cool technical sound because even though like I don’t really like that sort of like Transformer vomit type music like those producers have crazy sound design skills makes things that are so unbelievably cool sounding and so I wanted to like try to integrate some of those really a great Sonic elements and then with sort of like back to the actual roots of like what dubstep music is a little bit more like like more slowly heavily moving really learning you know how to do all this stuff because it’s pretty wild I mean if if you’ve never opened up one of these digital audio workstations and you have literally zero doing that like it’s it’s like a whole another language and it’s there so many different parameters to learn and figure out like what does what and I mean the learning curve is seriously Steve so yeah I think you it seems like you’ve totally got in through now like who’s actually hard part where it just feels like you’re fighting the machine to where you’re actually like it was a channel your ideas so yeah with this dubstep album that was called love blast and that was basically like my kind of like first you know album where I think I really had a pretty solid understanding of how everything works together actually I don’t know what happened but I just had a big shift and I just kind of the dubstep I was listening to just started feeling really dark and I sort of had a brief until like it’s called Deep dubstep and it’s kind of like I just left like that Transformer vomit stuff and very more like auditorily pleasing sounds like really nice and smooth Butters very dark and I just I don’t know like I just started to feel like it was just kind of like this like really ominous can I like yucky energy still but in a like a less obvious way than the other type of dubstep so I basically was like okay no pun done with this and I pretty much had another one eighty but then I made a small little glitch hop album and glitch hop is it’s a little bit more funky than dubstep music and little bit faster speed too and so that was really cool by I remember it was actually pretty funny because I would always like send you stuff to check out and if you if it wasn’t psytrance you would always just be like yeah you know that’s pretty cool but like can you make some psytrance please Lou and I’m like when psytrance Wednesday and experimenting with different stuff as I like focus on sort of one jonra here and there that you produce so far to me that had that what I really go for most of all with that you were blessed to also have like this parallel gift of a of a female vocalist just into your sister field and so we almost I now that I think about it I don’t think I’ve ever thought for this two together but we really are prayers were answered you know we wanted to bring in that shocked the energy masculine hyper-masculine music forms and have a real talent there that wasn’t just lifting samples to meditation CD you always end up hearing the same ones recycled by bunch of different producers and and and where is the where are the afentika aprotic female vocalist from different cultural Traditions are tribal tradition tradition is it actually show up in the studio and record over the beasts that you’re making him both of us had that authentic experience and it was both a very organic so that’s why would I want to say that track that we work together that are the music video that I was blessed to join you in participating in that track was it is really a nice sounding tea set that transcends genres you want to give us sort of the behind-the-scenes on that whole journey and and certainly which of the music video and the female vocalist like I love those stories of synchronicity in for sure for sure so yeah actually I was at Lucidity Festival which is it’s definitely one of my favorite festivals there’s actually not that much psytrance there but they do have some psytrance but just the overall vibe there is it’s really nice and so I was in my happy place just so you know doing my festival thing and kind of like walks by these two women sitting there and like why was kind of like maybe I should go to talk with them or I don’t know like and then one of them just said hey come and talk with us that’s pretty cool like awesome like really friendly vibe there so yeah I came over and turned out one of them is a vocalist and her name is Alex and you know it was telling her how like I make music I’m always you know looking for vocalist and I think this is a point in my life where I had just gone through this like realisation that you can make such a more rich and enormous sound when you how many voices coming together to create that so I was really like like open to collaborating with like almost anyone that would come my way at that point and yeah she was like okay here’s my number like you know like let’s get in touch and actually I had it like I don’t know probably three or four or vocalist like that I had met in that same kind of like months and I would reach out to them and I’ll just hear nothing back or it’s like oh yeah let’s get the California yes like the time is now baby after the festival Alex actually got in touch with me and you know it was like hey it’s like I really want to sing you know with you and yeah so she lives pretty far away from me but she came out and we recorded a bunch of vocal stuff on three or four songs that I was doing of the time and I just one song basically I had kind of like some basic elements of it was very raw skeletal Types on and that’s the song called deep inside and yeah it is just when I heard her singing on there it was like wow this is the song right here this is what’s been missing she’s just got the most amazing voice and she has so much soul I’m hearing you speak I feel like the if I had to explain to somebody who never heard the word Tantra before and your people ask me if clients and whatnot where should I begin and what should I read and certainly there is I really enjoy Urban Tantra by Barbara carrellas and also the jewel in the Lotus and also the complete idiot’s guide to tantric sex if I never had I’m waiting for this I’m waiting I’ve been waiting for something like this to me again I Just Praise her your style and approach and I really think the what it brings together is it just these two words kind of came to me these two terms just like the Smith self-help genre and the self-help movement is something that is sort of its kind of made fun of or it’s not it’s not really taking totally seriously or it’s kind of like oh yeah you’re there’s something wrong with you and if you were normal you would you would not need to go that route so it’s kind of like a weird something where you might you might lose respect for yourself even by questioning that are thinking what am I going to having a midlife crisis I don’t need that you know what is going on but then with Tantra it’s so you’re such a almost like a martial arts kind of level of self-mastery and self-discipline I really is the sort of Jedi training and I think you bring that you sent the size of those two for me those two opportunities where it’s like yeah you you’re actually using courage and bravery and becoming a warrior but then you’re doing all this really touchy feely deep emotional work and that should that should take care of people’s hesitation to go either on a warrior path or on a more self-help spiritual path that gives you your compelling people to take both and for when men I think they they seek that out maybe they seek the warrior path more than the spiritual path but there’s I think there’s a lot of marketing and hype around that for men but this is really good tip for a loved one country women’s use the word Fierce and they invoke that that energy and they Empower femininity with with that those archetypes so could you talk maybe a bit about what that means to you the that just reconciling masculine or feminine Shiva Shakti really kind of bringing these tools of of strength and resolve and discipline to two women who may be of this been crushed by patriarchy you know for Generations oh yeah that’s a big question right there yeah and that’s I mean being crushed by Peter I came that’s definitely why I wrote the book and I actually why you were talking I just wanted to mention that I have a section on their on you know telling women to how to stop denying that masculine energy or also men love because I find that you know because you know a lot of the women I work with the idiot had just bad experiences with men or with times that they’ve stepped into their masculine energy and so they’ve just been very hurt by it and then they sort of backed away from it and you know I try to work with them on you know it’s about housing balance of Both Worlds and really understanding what the masculine is and also the ways in which masculine and men have been disempowered you know and really starting to take ownership of that you notice a lot of times women are like you know when I start bringing in the masculine they’re like okay I know I bet that’s like to heavy like that kind of energy that they don’t want to work with that energy and they don’t want to explore that energy and so I say okay you know there’s there’s no pressure and there’s no rush cuz you got to do what feels right to you and a lot of time they seem. Just by like stepping in to do that feminine energy because it is fierce right it is courageous it is powerful like you said there is not Warrior quality to it I’m still by simply die do something like this to summon and energy you actually calling up you know those masculine aspect you’re calling up that strength that where your strength at the same time without really realizing it so unconsciously and and you’re bringing those forces them to bounce and I’ve seen that a lot of times with women that I’ve worked but I’m really like surprised at how the feminine wild like this actually you know it’s soft there is softness in the feminine but as you claim it and as you’re able to fearlessly stick with that and embrace set and embodying it naturally you know.. Here’s mess. Power starts to rise time to help stabilize their energy and so it’s pretty much really a magical thing it’s pretty amazing and so I have this part in my book about you know how to really heal yourself from what you thought maybe you know how house Gary masculine energy might be some time I’m sure there are practices that really going to that and yeah and then that’s really a big part of my work to because a man I mean we are in need of some major balance here on this planet and in this life in this world so I really feel the more that we can Embrace anybody and I’m leaning into the feminine that is rising right now in the more we can scan with that the more that we can make space for on the masculine to heal and balance and a bike ride but like Reno really hot like it in excess right but Valance in such a way that it kind of comes down to meet the famine in so that this beautiful kind of dance can emerge Amor Harmony and that would just make such a huge total impact and we just within the body the container of one individual body being able to fuse and merge those energies so powerful yeah I’m really is why I do what I do awesome yeah I can say from experience from the first couple of experiences and session work that I experienced with you then I really got I was able to feel the force so you know that if we’re going to be using that Jenna archetype you know in in there if you want to call Kundalini Shakti goddess energy which is I love calling I love I love hearing of Kundalini as a salmon in force and you were the one who activated that for me and it was just very unusual yeah I remember like it was yesterday and so I appreciate it in you you can get really philosophical and really theoretical but grounding everything into practices to make it as a workbook almost it sounds like this is amazing so you and it’s something that has to be felt in the body to really know what it is yeah it’s hard it’s hard to find words nothing will thank you for all that great work do you feel kind of complete as in that in this kind of brief introduction but but pretty I think it’s a pretty good overview I definitely thrilled to to go deeper with it and others will be as well so I wanted to give the bulk of this episode to this important news of promoting and getting the word out about the book and then but also address questions that I’ve had as a sort of I’ve become a sort of meta Godparent to a lot of different mothers who were rebranding as independent mothers who are in various stages of Court battles with baby daddies for custody and for child support and and I’ve just checking on this sort of I decided I’m not going to reproduce biologically all of my vasectomy but I will reproduce culturally by my being short playing that that more of a Shimano roll in peace and also keeping a little bit of distance from that that this is a an ancient sword of time tree thing of if you are not to be the guru per se but to be an Adept you may have to disengage from householding because there’s just so much mundane kind of learning and things you got to sit through so your country path is always going to be kind of a balancing act between how much of a household are you going to be and what roles are going to have within a community and then how far out you get to go on your own into your mystical practices so I have taken that past of offsetting my my familial obligations a bit so that I could study things from afar and then just go to be this force of will hopefully an Angelic sort of force supporting women who are in different degrees of Crisis that’s just a little bit of a of a context for why it’s important for me now to reconnect with you in a n n learn from you and share your teachings about Tantra parenting the pattern that has been emerging in the question is being asked of me and the view is is how does a woman who has just recently given birth and going through all these different chemical changes and hormonal changes how do you what’s the advice on keeping that spark of love and attraction alive with the baby daddy partner what are some some tricks and tips that you would recommend for for that really critical bonding you know six segments of Life first of all I’m not going to lie. I think the first thing to do is I mean really too kind of except that it’s not going to be the same but. It’s actually you know like I said with you know what having kids how you’re able to look at the things that really matter to you that was so when you actually are with your partner and you have those moments you know they might be less but we are going to be amazing because you are fully present and you’re showing up each moment you know and the end of a lot of for me it’s like when I first became a mom so I had my first son and it was really hard I was just like what cuz I was Dino stole so focused on your child and really wanted to be there to nurture that I and you are you know you’re you’re so deep into it into motherhood and it’s so new everything is so new and exciting and exhausting but I am in a few months I was just like oh my gosh like how how does this work how do we make this work and it was really really difficult very difficult but I found that by you know because I’ve had my kids almost 8 years now until I found that really what we eat sometimes you know if if we need to say like make an appointment with each other and that’s what we have to do if we have to put it on the calendar they okay these are the the two or the three days a week that were scheduling for ourselves for intimacy for connection then that’s we’re going to do that first there was a struggle because my husband’s like okay this isn’t sexy yo after he got over that initial thing it was like okay like we can do this we can make time for this we can we can be intentional about it for us really had to do that because not only was it you know hard navigating with kids now but also the work you know work in the balance of that it was just really tough so that was one of the things that we did the other thing that I want to say is that sometimes you know you you have good intentions but I got at the end of the day you’re exhausted and and then you just end up wanting to just sit there and whatever you want to do watch TV or you know just go to bed until I always like to say that really if you really want to keep that sparked going not to give up just because you feel like okay you know I don’t have that energy right now or I don’t have the time to put into this right now to really see and used Contra in a way that it’s really meant to be experienced right because Todd’s are really isn’t just all about sex right and having that fat set spark Tundra is it much deeper than that and so sometimes you have to tell yourself like okay even though we don’t have time to make love right now maybe maybe it’s just about lying down next to each other synchronizing out of breath making that I contact I’m falling asleep to that I’m letting that be enough you know before you know this night or this week or whatever it is like in the beginning it’s not to really put so much pressure on yourself but to use Simple practice is like you know that you have your own position and just sitting there together and being or maybe you know it’s one night you really need a massage right now you know I really just after having a long day or a long week and be with the kids so much that’s what I really need so communicating that to your partner and really staying in touch with that and not being embarrassed or not feeling like it’s too much or too much of a burden or whatever it is just really being clear about what you deeply need I’m in a lot of that comes down to really checking in you know with yourself all the time and seeing what’s there I really feel like things like that even though you know you might be cuz it’s also self-care right so you’re able to connect with your partner in that way and then you’re also able to have that time must be nurtured and a slowing down which is also key so I think everyone is going to work differently and it’s going to be unique for all of us but it’s really about finding those opportunities to stay consistent to really stay connected in those small tangible ways and mlc really accepting that it’s okay that you know your relationship has changed the amount of time might be able to have to devote to one another Soul has changed I’m not true but you can actually take all that and evolve it into something in a lot of cases that really goes much deeper than that you know because now it’s it’s amazing you know you have this this connection and you know going through motherhood and Emma strikes that that gives you time to actually be able to take that foundation and that strength and that those nurturing abilities and that expression being able to use that with your partner in your relationship I’m having that Foundation really can make me very powerful in a way that’s unexpected just as amazing as you always bring it back to the fundamentals of the practices this is not all hot air to talk about it tell about doing it doing the work and I just feel like it makes me think that I can think of I mean I know some couples will have the foresight to at least make prenuptial agreement but I can’t think of anyone who they actually said we are going to go through the most insane trans transformation of everything we know we can if its first time parents who have no clue what to expect and they and what if they were to get these to be the eye of a storm throughout anyting that’s the Abbey unless Ty gazing the synchronized breathing you can’t touch that space with anything so but but pure Bliss and whatever does need to get work through if it’s done in that space it’s going to be conscious it’s going to be a constructive and it’s going to be a firming so I feel like it’s the what I’m hearing you say and what diarrhea firm is two people listening if you were expecting and you want to keep this container of love together and ever strengthening then start doing his practices now and know that you’re going to really rely on them it’s going to be life-and-death okay we’re just going there so I can breed all right like can’t we just do that let’s just do that next week or let’s just all of that I mean once you start doing it and engaging and you feel that present in your body and the Net Connection you have to just trust that all of that and all of that adds up and all of that makes a difference in your relationship every moment of that that time that you have on to be able to connect in that way as powerful well thank you again for bringing it back to to those core practices again you could have a lot of compliments sure there’s a million complicated bits of advice that people could give for this but this is so practical and and I just I dare people could really do it in and I don’t think you can fail you know I don’t think it’s possible to fail if you have good intentions and you do the scratches so yeah so we were getting also to your kind of making a perfect segue to the next question which is more more about the the asymmetry of responsibility and Duty specially for breastfeeding mothers and mothers to be carried to full-term and whatnot it’s it’s like there’s such a the mail investment just as how I always make this joke there probably less violence in the world is men had to breastfeed but women actually held the babies in their room still so imagine that you wouldn’t be off to go into war and using weapons and guns and swords that she had breastfeeding on demand for whatever after 5 years income that would be great that leaves man with such an unfair and balance of freedom and privilege to not be bound to the those tasks so a lot of women are rightfully lamenting this sensitive of the men who are supposed to be there showing up to with the with the mother is hoping for is that yeah he’s going to go to work and put food on the table and make it so I don’t have to work hopefully or I can work you know in a way that I can still be involved in my children’s lives you know for God’s sake you know who something something not just not just the short maternity leave remind me that the CEO of YouTube is a yogini who is Hardcore advocate for way longer maternity leave or something yeah I didn’t know that I’ll send you a link to a video where it where you get to see that she’s actually really badass them she’s a fierce that ass woman who’s awake I have no idea how did you navigate and how do you recommend for women who maybe don’t have is as blessed of a of a beloved Fixer-Upper type type men how do you get them on board with really going the extra mile of of checking in about about the needs a mother you know mother would have if she is being assertive about her knees in about the new suicide where she would like how can you be humbled to her and just be asking and showing up to being serviced that’s a question that’s a really great question and I have to say that I’m really fortunate with Eric because he I mean he has just him and he is just been a tremendous support from the beginning but then at the same time it’s like I also have to do my part with him right of being very clear about I need you no because then it that this always with him you know in the beginning of special rub up against this when he just wouldn’t know you know and I would be just waiting silently expecting something but he wouldn’t really know that that was what exactly I was looking for right because for women it’s like having that ability to breastfeed and nurture and carry this baby. Room I mean just how we have those abilities so readily at hand and we know what we need sometimes it’s hard to say yeah I need this actually it sometimes it’s hard because where we can be so strong you know and we can put off the 15 so strong and like we have everything together and I know that I do that a lot of time where I’m just like yep I’m good I don’t need help I look what I’m doing all by myself I’m doing all these amazing but that really inside I’m like oh my gosh like what am I I can’t do all this by myself and just allowing your partner that opportunity like okay like this is really what I need and this is the support that I need and this is how I feel going through that and not being afraid to say I am overwhelmed right now you know and and can you please and saying this from a place of love right not from a place that judgment and like what are you doing for me and you know resenting that you know you have more freedom than me and Bubba blah and I’m here breastfeeding or whatever it is not doing it from that place but from you know from your center from a place of love like I’m I’m really overwhelmed I need help with this right now you know can you get up be up with a baby now for two hours because I only had 3 hours of sleep last night instead of just silently you know doing in that moment when you feel I mean I I just I know a lot of of moms and a lot of friends who dust will just be like okay well he didn’t you know my partner my spouse he didn’t step up and so I had to do it and then my will but did you say something and they’re like no or maybe they did say something but you know it wasn’t from that place you know of just clear intentional loving vulnerable until. I think that was one of the biggest things for me especially you know when our relationship I’m like okay and then you know my husband tries to tell me like he’s Eichler like he’s like really I want to be able to show up for you like I want to be strong for you I want you to feel good but he’s like I honestly don’t I just need to to hear it I just sometimes I need to be told or I need to be reminded because it doesn’t come as naturally to me and then show me be mindful of that and not you know not falling to being hurtful or resentful something makes me cute different do you know well that’s really really profound that that really gets to the hardest exactly what I’m seeing go wrong inside once at once that slippery slope really hard I mean it’s kids once this thing start to add up then breaking through that you’re really. It’s really snowballing and that’s your thing everything is this Noble thing I’ve seen it yet so that is great advice I think that work that I said the fly to something if x is kind of ridiculous that it reminds me of I remember seeing young young women and whatever middle school or high school and home home economics class and they will be given an assignment to have a baby doll with them for whatever and in that relationship it’s like okay honey we’re going to do what it’s going to feel like for me to be busy and need help from you and you put in your garden that would be funny if it decided to give people that sensitivity at sensitivity training cuz once it’s already ratchet up and then more expenses than what I’m seeing to notice let me know way more than I do but it’s like I don’t think I think people underestimate the cost of of multiple visits to the pediatrician a week you know it’s like figuring out food allergies and decoding the sugar all of the ways that sugar is is is surreptitiously inserted into packaged food and just it’s such a pill battle to be holistic and to be in at all so it’s just this this is all in on top of just I mean most people are just buying everything off the shelf from entertainment to toys to food to diapers and whatever it is it’s all just off the shelf but to have that effect of wanting to do better than the last Generations or to resist the marketing and be more green or whatever that’s a whole another layer of the building so you know it’s just to get more and more complicated and at the end of the day I see the women just getting ran ragged and the dudes just kind of blowing him off sadly to say but if we could he had say that actually kind of Segways a bit to another question which is and this I mean you could you could write a whole book just on this subject alone out so I don’t expect you to to go too far into it but maybe just some off the top of your head pointers and we can move along quick to know we’re getting close on time so so any suggestions for creative and educational and non-toxic toys just a few maybe went to one website or one store just don’t know anything I don’t know if I’d be the best person to ask about that because I not that they have a choice in general just because you know like all the plastic and everything I mean and we like literally their toys are like one corner of our house like a couple of containers and that’s it and they barely even play them to be honest with you I feel like the simpler the better you know I feel like I’m all about like art you know art projects you know the pain and the crayons and all the art supplies and things like that so that they can enhance their minds and use their hands that way and explore that way they’re into that but I found that you know the purchases that I made with toys throughout the years it’s like that use it and then they’re done and that’s like a big hunk of plastic sitting there are biodegradable and Wooden Spoons and then they’d be busy for 2 or 3 hours you know that they have gotten that I get them they’re like okay and then they open it and then they look at it for 10 minutes and then I end up you know it’s just a way so yes so we do more we like to do more stuff you know in nature I mean they like to play you know what they say they love gospel they love being outdoors they love Ari and they love puzzles and things like that so that’s why I hope that I hope and pray that we will all have abundant opportunities to being healthy natural environments and have plenty of more outdoor time the better cuz there’s some nature is like endless you know just being outside they’re like so fascinated by every little thing the backyard I don’t know it exactly how I like how did the people survived all of those many years ago without these big pieces of plastic and well that is exactly what I thought I hope to hear in and a very firm it if so this is another test of the last one here is probably the the most kind of universal so I don’t know if there is an answer to this question however I died would like to spend I would like to spend my golden years doing a lot more anthropological research on on foraging sigala Terry and societies before you spell hunter-gatherer societies who have basically none of the the neurotic issues that people in the modern world have and and I love to know I would like to believe that there is that there was a golden age of human Innocents where the terrible twos didn’t exist and then that we could decode that and figure out what is it more nurturing Less Talk toxins I mean is it just that there’s so much overstimulation and so many maybe you’re actually able to perceive carcinogens at that age and then you stopped being able to and that’s why I mean it could be anything less or I could just sent them know something very out of balance that’s just modern so I’m just wondering if you have if you were really idealistic about know I’m going to teach there going to be a master Yogi’s by the age of one so that the terrible twos happen though I already beat exam enough I don’t know why you if you were like I don’t know like tell me what that’s been like for you and then if you have advice for people who are in that approaching that Horizon will for me I really I really just try to go with the flow you know just so I’ll talk to style just like accepting every part of it I was just part of the the beautiful messy process of development and growth and exploration and sometimes I do know because otherwise then it’s just become so hard you know what I’m saying because you expect it is you’re going to have meltdowns right it’s not it’s not going to be easy is there at like going to be some very tough days especially in the beginning if it’s going to be hard you feel like what what am I what did I get myself into one of my hairdo evaporate the next moment you know you’re going to feel the most joy and Bliss and happiness that you ever felt like wow that’s amazing that I get to be a part of this process you know that I get to witness this human being growing and developing and it’s it’s just amazing so it’s really you know you know the whole ton truck idea of a flowing through those energy that accepting every moment no matter how chaotic and allowing those emotions and those feelings and those moments to move to you during this challenging time to witness in you know children and young children because it’s like they can like be so happy in one moment and literally within five seconds that can beat me on the floor it’s crazy right it’s like oh my gosh the wide array of emotions from moment to moment and not inhibit that till I I feel like you know it’s like wow for me initially seen that in the beginning and fidget with night was my first one and that you can just move so fluidly like this and just just like that and get so consumed by something else in another moment we just amazing to me so I think we can really take a lot of sign a lot of lessons and just being present at something to a Full Circle closed right now because what I am even before you started to reply that lesson for grown-ups really about about cycling through your full expression and not choking your body is response to a situation out and the full the full body response to a situation I was actually remember me on my phone while I remember a room full of adults it you and Eric’s condo and we were being instructed to behave like children having a tantrum so that we can feel good and actually know the nice that storm there’s like the sun and the blue sky and in the EXO baekhyun the funny faces and doing the monster dance and some just like well you’re probably realizing hits are the times of the exactly yeah it’s it’s pretty amazing to witness is there a word for like reverse parenting or something has got to be a word for the the the from children actually teaching adults what they’re forgetting and I didn’t mean well that’s really it’s a really heartwarming conversation and I feel like the people who are hearing this and who have experienced so much pain and distress that there is such a open source free to use to spend your own time studying it get this book read the book watch Roadies videos I certainly considered to be the highest resource that I like to share with folks because of the same reason they listen before adjusters I don’t feel like there is a knot a snake-oil aspect of what you’re selling and there’s not a sort of a shady ulterior motive saying a gender that I have to worry about and and I just can’t say that about that many people until I’m sure you know and I certainly feel for myself that you know I have I always want to be deferring is often as possible to sort of protect my Integrity to not be the what do they call it like the god cock Shaman is just a narcissistic people’s souls and that’s easy enough to it’s easier to take that route of that that black timeshare manipulate manipulate almost hard not to do it so I mean I’m making and I feel like we are making major effort cuz that’s the complete opposite of what you are and what you and body I mean from the very beginning so yeah no thank you I really feel like you are just I mean somebody who’s just really in there doing that you’re like doing the work you know and you like do it like with an open heart you’re just like in there and you’re talking to everybody and just creating this just really amazing platform. You should be really proud of well thank you again and again I have to say you helped start at all and one of my the first real social proof that I had was that was your gracious licensing of me to share some of the video work that we did together it’s been a blessing that go into detail but all that in that in that previous episode supposed to listen of that and I will say that we we were blessed and burden in this in this time of this episode to take to cover a good intro to the book and also to open this discussion about time to Parenting I definitely want to set the intention that in the future we will give more of a of a deep dive into your personal background and it sort of will let that be a cliffhanger to hear about your experiences early introduction of Tantra and just kind of the got your path of building that confidence and certainly the form give experience Syfy oh my God it all yeah we haven’t got into your filmography either still be there next time to say this for next time to talk about birth because yes I mean not as deep and my experience naturally delivering and doing it with Tantra as my Foundation is the only way that I said I survived it and actually enjoyed it. Arrington have the complete box set free thank you so much thank you so much for having me it was really great and most richest time in in a moment to to share this Basin and certainly yeah it’s it’s a got it just give you a big big bow down because this you were the one who helped me start this this whole journey I don’t know I don’t know who I’d be or where I’d be doing it if we didn’t have a Meeting of Minds you know so yeah I can’t believe I forgot to say this I mean you were seriously you were the first one who discovered my website you were the first one who reached out to me and one of the first that I’ve actually I will say the first that I taught that I didn’t know because I had started already like teaching but like you know friends and friends of friends but you were the first clean one like the first student I was like oh wow yeah that that walked in and like was the beginning of really that Journey so thank you I did not know that I did not realize that that that’s funny so funny I can’t believe I never told you that that’s very well so everybody just like get over your awkwardness and just represent just like bring your egg and no matter what things will come out you know it’ll all fall in place to get back to the Sam and yeah I give them my love and thank them for allowing you to to do the book and for all of the people who parted the sea so that you could get that book done and then provide provide that to us and so much more thank you I know it I just want to say thank you so much for Amy what you just what you spoke about earlier just blew me away how you been stepping up to support women and you know what your mother’s I mean you are really holding for me to space there and this is really something that you know I know that would indeed and you know a lot of them have been longing for so thank you so much for for being that person and for filling that role cuz it’s just amazing the work that you’ve been doing all these years I thank you you planning to see each other that they were they say that it’s the fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree at least in the sense of the guru to train me to be a womanizing pick up artist in the name of conscience so I guess that’s why we you know gravitated toward each other There Was You know. The little like energy so I think I don’t think you would have found that path that was not your will thank you so much again yeah so much so much good vibes and good times and we will be in touch soon and and best of luck with all of your your your book emotional adventurous okay great thank you so much fun. Country Park. Calm and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to see me and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple provide ketologic employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email band at Township Park. Com Thomas gay

The Revolt of the Cum Slaves with Bitch Goddess Grace Diaz TPP209

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Grace Diaz Pic

In this episode I’m joined by Grace Diaz who is standing strong in her Bitch Goddess power to tell a story of rebellion against the forces of patriarchal narcissism, manipulation, intimidation, and abuse. In this scandalous sexpose, she takes a constructive, conscious,  proactive approach to raising awareness about the larger cultural issues. Her demands for justice transcend her own personal gain, and she’s working to support and liberate all women.

The issues that are brought up are raw and extreme, but the sad truths must be brought to the light. I bow down to her courage to speak out, and it’s an honor to hold space on the podcast for her to share her story. We’ve been through a lot of powerful material together on the podcast and our sense of solidarity increases every time.

About Grace:

My passion of healing began at the age of ten, when my father, a Reiki Master of 20 years initiated me as a Reiki Master in Medellin, Colombia. For years after arriving back to the United States, I began teaching Usui Reiki all over the east coast.

Reiki lead me to Tantra. I was introduced to Shakti-Pakti-Tantric-Yoga by my Guru Tafari Sudra, in 2011, and it allowed me to heal my 10-year eating disorder. Our organization, YONI GRACE, LLC was birthed in 2012 when I felt the burning need to share the wisdom I was experiencing through Yoni Breathing.

In 2012 Grace began distributing Yoni Eggs wholesale worldwide and teaching thousands of women how to run a Yoni Egg business from home!

Grace hosts Yoni events in the Las Vegas area and internationally. In 2016, she was privileged to be hosted in Istanbul, Turkey. There, Grace and 35 Muslim women participated in a weekend workshop of the Yoni Egg practice with Yoni Yoga. Her classes are one of a kind and focus on helping women embrace their innate sensual wisdom for spiritual and physical wellness.

Please visit her website at:
https://yonigrace.com/  

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear beloved’s welcome to Tantra Punk podcast episode number 2 0 9 this is a very interesting show again with Grace Diaz who is going to tell all in a sort of very a very scandalous sort of sex pose a talking about issues that she has been confronting that or you could say or within and Beyond the me-too movement and different experiences and insights having overcome some pretty heinous treachery on the part of an individual who will remain unnamed but who she is in a sort of psychic battle with for the soul retrieval shamanic healing work needs to happen for her to restore her her true dignity and her her highest glory and grace as independent Sovereign woman in charge of your own destiny and I’m very proud to be instrumental however I can to support that process for all women and certainly I am a a defender of the only Temple because I myself have been a Survivor and in ways have been violated and abused in and taking advantage of often or in many ways that women who have been victimized and who are survivors have so I have that compassion I have that ability to commiserate and I also am on a path of personal healing and transformation that would continue to inform me about the importance of composting the patriarchy starting with myself and really figuring out ways that I can always be getting stronger hopefully always be getting wiser but also be giving back and also be helping in any way I can and just hoping for the best sort of case studies and caseloads to be applying myself too and I think that Grace’s is absolutely outstanding as one of the women who I dearly respect and honor and believe in the work she’s doing is so important to where she’s doing and I feel like when you tell we need to give prayers and help part the seas to make this path of empowerment and Liberation continue smoothly and for all of the all of the forces that are working against this movement of Liberation for them to be on all the forces seen and unseen for them to be really bound and and kept really in a place of safe distance for their own healing and transformation in processing so that there’s not a constant depletion of energy having to fight all these uphill battles with the Patriarchs who have so much the the the game board skewed and their favorites like such a rigged game in this casino of patriarchy and the more you peel back the onion just the more Sinister it gets so this episode gets into some pretty raw territory and I hope you can bear with it and understand that this is serious business in you know you start taking on these Empires and you got to watch your back so send his prayers with do this together like do you like the revolts of the dancers at the Jabba the Hutt bar and be like Princess Leia and use that chain let’s use those change to choke out our oppressors and give free all right with that said thank you very much enjoy the show Namaste good morning I’m glad I am live on my YouTube I made it my dogs don’t bark in the background how are you been I’m doing very well yes so that’s exciting new developments going on and just thrilled to be alive and just thrilled to hear about this expose that she have planned and I’m trying to think about what to call it it’s as trying to think of something like mess with a bitch goddess and you get the… I can say this now because I didn’t have I don’t have this password anywhere but literally one of my password was I’m a bitch goddess yeah make it make your passwords or a long complex daily affirmation that only you understand that’s a good one Beauty forced to give the positive reinforcement I like it okay so let’s talk about it so I got my letter in the mail so I’m going to fill in everybody who doesn’t know what’s going on when I’m talkin about I know you know the details so I’m going to just cover in a really you know like just just so everybody knows what’s going on so I was in a relationship for 6 years I was pretty much unaware that the disproportionate power dynamics were a problem I at the time when I was in relationship to this person who you know like the whole thing with the with a female movement and and fighting against like a charcoal abusive power like I was cool with they’re being disproportionate power dynamics because I thought that I joined that power source and it was going to be and it was like my power to you know what I mean like I didn’t know that that power is going to be used against me and so a lot of people say and I’m talking about an older gentleman that you know a prominent attorney in in Maryland former judge and I was in relationship to him for 6 years very beautiful relationship until I really started discovering the like I was I was basic basically a narcissistic supply for him and I didn’t know that I was a narcissistic supply for him until I stopped supplying him because I started growing beyond my young twenty-two-year-old naive self at the time he was like in his late sixties and so I was with him because I thought that he could help me because he was helping me and he was so adamant about supporting me and helping me go through school and helping me you know start my business and everything like that and so I thought that I was joining the disproportionate power source and I want to make that really clear because there are a lot of women these days that join it’s it’s like it’s like you joining an institution it’s like you you think that the institutions going to be on your side you know if you’re not here if you think you are you know what I mean and so that’s where I was coming from I was coming from you know like everything’s honest and transparent everything’s authentic everything is being spoken aloud between me and my partner and so I am just like many girls I believe you know who put themselves in these situations and everyone’s like no don’t do it like you so much older than you more money than you he has so much more legal power than you don’t do it don’t do it and I’m like why would I not do that like she can she can really help me and he does really love me so you know… You’re the antagonist to telling me not to do it you know what I mean when really what a lot of these people are trying to do is really help you and nnn because this unfortunately did SKU against my favor and I am you know if you didn’t see my other coming out video I talked about a gag order that I received once me and him broke up and I unfortunately signed it under duress I was very I don’t want to go over too many of the details but pretty much that’s like the backstory and so anyway so I opened an investigation with this against the person because a lot of the behavior that they wanted me to hush about a lot of illegal activity and he was he’s just afraid that I’m going to speak out and so here I am speaking out because he put me in a position where you wanted to silence me two years ago by me being depressed about what to do about this having no legal aid or support at all and so I decided to open an investigation and put the power in my hands and really take care of this motherfucker so that’s the backstory well congratulations for stepping out in and breaking the silence and I know that all is divine blessings will be coming your way to help with all that’s needed and this is just the tip of the iceberg and it’s the entire imagix think of a Jabba the Hutt and I just think they were all in this Cult of Jabba the Hutt because this Dynamic with young women and club culture and I know it’s all throughout Vegas and you just see I’m in Vegas is sort of the the Dream the ultimate Global masculine dream of being able to be a guy who is successful in business or what whatever and then basically is able to have this pseudo Harem of of skimpy skimpy dressed model-esque women who were pretty much just either totally vacant mentally or they or even if they’re not that kind of have to fake it and play like that because who would actually be entertained by people in that this guy sounds like an actual like he has redeeming qualities and then he’s not the the the the lowest slug sloth of a of a male that’s ever lived which makes it more painful I’m sure because then there is some attention City to it and even more heartbreaking because if he was at if he was just a bastard through and through then it wouldn’t be it will be probably less painful to go through but this is what I’ve learned with my research with dealing with narcissists there’s three different kinds of narcissists there’s the ones that like Donald Trump it’s like out your face and everyone knows it and then there’s the covert narcissists like The Bill Cosby they talk about you know like morality that talk about empowerment empowering the community and then they’re actually like raping women behind the scenes you know and so that’s the category in which I would put this fellow into and he is a covert narcissist and even though he on the service doesn’t look like the lowest scum in my opinion I really believe that specifically these types of covert narcissist build their whole lives assembling a a portrait of how good they are because internally they believe they know actually that they are the lowest scum you know like that’s there at least obviously nope no human is scum like there’s no City like I personally don’t believe that any human being even though you may have done some of the worst things ever like on a soul level on a on a on a truce like the ultimate truth level every person has a spirit and soul and we’re here basically trying to demonstrate her lessons were here to try to demonstrate our understanding our our Consciousness pass you know the stream of Consciousness that we’ve been through for so many lifetimes maybe perhaps and I don’t believe that you know any person is is release come we’re just trying to figure things out and so obviously he’s not scum like deep down inside he believes he is like that’s what a covert narcissist really believes on a very unconscious level you know he doesn’t he doesn’t even know that he thinks about himself but that’s why he’s put his whole life and trying to be a legal superhero you know especially till like the black community and everything like that and and look what he was doing behind-the-scenes he would he basically and my my response to this investigation because I do have to submit a response to which is basically just talking about how all of his efforts go into selecting women to be with that are disproportionately less educated than them that are disproportionately significantly younger than than them like I’m 45 years younger than him you know like that’s a lot that’s a lot that’s like Beyond what’s even normal for like large gaps you know disproportionately like even even me being Colombian like like no one in my family knows anything about law here you know what I mean like no one no one in my family knows like the court system necessarily like how to actually like do things you know because we’re not really from here and then and I really do think that that actually is a turn-on for a lot of these you know that getting that narcissistic Supply getting that narcissistic Supply specifically for this person like that was that’s a turn-on to have someone disadvantaged to be with because you don’t pose a threat to them yeah I hear that mean I think it’s the same archetype of the whole mail-order bride thing and you know I watch the documentary all about how in Southeast Asia the new cash crop isn’t race anymore it’s young women and families will basically cultivate their daughters to be sold off either into urban brothels or there’s a s’more sort of what I would call a lighter form of sex trafficking and then documentary they show that end this Village in Thailand every year they have a foreign husband of the Year festival and men compete and they go there they go they’ve basically they bring the wives that they exported these young women they exported them out of their village community as a cash crop export products and then the ones that were the most well-to-do and whatever the most handsome or dashing whatever it is they come back in a group several and they come back with their wives that they took out of the Village Inn compete for a sort of crown and there’s a big party in Festival like a traditional big let you know that kind of Festival event and you see that that I think I watched that guy the interview he was like 3 time winner in a row or something like that and just take this is such gnarly Twisted abuse and you know if anything they should just like take all that power and wealth in literally don’t take the woman out of her family and Village and take his ass over there and have them a Keisha pekid by their Village back from the corrupt government he could actually help people instead he’s just parading around and taking her to Disney World or whatever so and fucked up a thirty-year-old now you know when I was 22 at the time and I was with this individual I basically I didn’t understand I didn’t understand how this could go against me like I didn’t understand the stage that I was playing you know according like Shakespeare and everything like I didn’t understand my stage like I didn’t understand that it was so our groneck then about this whole situation the most ironic thing is that I am a female empowerment like leader so it would get it like how could I not you no speak out break my silence against this mother fucking stupid gag order contract that really attempted to just Sally my work solely my you know my voice and everything and and so anyway and so it was you know I just I just really didn’t understand what I was getting into and now this this man I’m just so grateful that women are really stepping out women are really biting their voice because this is true like there’s so many needs to women and and I I don’t even like labels I don’t even like killing myself necessarily A me too but that’s really the category that I feel most identified with because I feel like this all happened in secret and my only voice is coming out publicly and talkin about it my only voice is to be able to say Hey you know I went through this and I right now I’m trying to fight it by holding this person accountable and what interesting actually about this individual’s response regarding this investigation that’s going on is that he’s really just trying to portray me as being hysterical as me being hysterical that’s really all he has he says that I’m trying to extort him that I’m trying to threatened him and all of that and so honestly you know whenever you whenever the disempowered party uses their power really was interesting about this whole situation now with the me-too movement is that now the power Dynamic is starting to be a little bit more even-keeled and that is so frightening to the other to the abusive party you know what I mean and so I’m just I’m basically just talking about this like even talk about this right now it’s like I’m a little nervous like I’m a little like but even just talking about it like I’m it’s scary you know what I mean and I’ve silenced myself I’ve gone along with the stupid contract for like 2 years and me finally get into this place where I can’t even talk about it even in this vague sense is scary you know and I didn’t do anything wrong I’m not doing anything wrong but I have this fear of speaking out against this gag order contract. I don’t abide by I don’t respect it I don’t believe it I was in such a horrible place and everyone knew it I had no legal support at all and so yeah and so basically you know me talking about this this is very very helpful and I appreciate it band and it’s a little scary but I’m very grateful that you’re letting me you know talk about it with your audience to so my viewers are saying that they’re bored with me talking about this they’re saying they’re bored I’m thrilled because this is this is the kind of fun this is the boldness that is that if it’s take if you worship the fierce goddesses then you will be emboldened and you will stop taking shit and you will let the sword of truth / down the Egos and the demon real estate the demons in and as far as I’m concerned you know this whole concept that you can use the apparatus of the state I mean I’m an anarchist and I believe that human beings are intelligent enough and and sweet-hearted enough to at the right scale of a village basically solve our problems collectively and have consensus in our decision-making did not have the shadow authoritarian violence backed forces of the of the Empire to protect the private property and wealth of elite classes I don’t believe in any of that shit and even if you got it from a doing good things if you’re going to use it to I mean I see this all the time it’s it’s rampant in the activist communities it’s rampant in that the punk rock movement that I’ve been in at everybody has every man every man has got their hands in the cookie jar of minors and also like I can specifically remember times in my life when I had a lot of young women all around me because I’m in a band and you know there’s this weird disproportionate population pyramid in the punk rock scene where it’s like most of the bands are made up of men and that’s likely changing to an didn’t beautiful movements right girl excetra where it where women have formed all girl bands and creative niches within the genre but but that was a backlash to but basically the standard. I’m in that in the music scene the name a punk is it it’s like it isn’t a pretty somewhat balance ratio of young men and young women teenagers who get into the scene when they’re you know when they’re rebelling against their parents and they’re going to high school and they’re sharing mixtapes and things to make it into it but then because of the inherent sexism in the scene it’s really only men who teach each other to play instruments for the most part and and so they dominate the the actual bills on the shows and they dominate just being the musician so what happens is because the guys stay in the bands by the time everyone else grows out of it by the time they get real jobs and have real families like they stop going to shows I stop partying all the time so you’re left with this this population pyramid where it’s like a lot of Aging Men playing their instruments being the rockstars and there’s no women who who follow them up that age curved it’s only man staying in the band so they only have access to all the time women so I’ve been in that reality for decades now and I’ve outgrown those you know that there’s there’s not there’s not a lot of women there are some and believe me I worship them their goddesses they’re bad asses vocalist and guitarist bases drummers you name it but they’re also fighting an uphill battle to not be raped and not being molested and abused and sexually be respected in the scene and I cherish them all and I’ve worked with many of them I play in bands with women and they kick ass and they fucking prick everybody to shame but this the point I’m making is that I’m from another sector this is like you could be the most self-righteous you know conscious political activist whatever and really most guys as far as I’m concerned don’t even know how to not put their hands in the cookie jar because it’s it’s so if that women can be young and seductive and they can be it in blacked out and there’s just like recipes for disaster everywhere it sounds like you had a not as debaucherous of a of a journey is I’ve been apart of what I’ve been a part of a lot of these abuse allegation Community resolution issues where we didn’t use the government or the state or lawyers because we were anarchists and we believe that we saw her Camino problems together as a community and people sometimes got beat down people some cat X got run out of town people sometimes were given opportunities to earn Redemption by doing service work in the community and working and rape crisis centers and actually getting re-educated from the ground up so I’d hope that there would be pressure from a larger community and yes the me-too movement but they scab that image when you saying that you feel you know nervous it’s like I think we’re at a Tipping Point where where the the thousands of little fish make that big one giant fish and together they all and swallow the one bully fish that was bigger than each of them individually right and thank you for saying all of that I am so what’s interesting is that one of the people on here just said so what do you want I think that’s a really good question like I should focus on what what do I want from that situation so what do I want from the situation so I don’t really believe that this covert narcissist ever going to apologize is ever going to recognize how much of a fucking bully he is how much of his patterns you know and in all of that I don’t think he’s ever going to acknowledge that in previously what I wanted was for him to cease this three-year timeline because I’m on the contract he specifically constructed a three-year timeline even after we broke up to have me hanging on a string because he purchased things for me you know I purchase a vehicle we purchase certain things for me that were really his and so he was just giving me money to pay for the things that she got me that I wasn’t ever responsible for paying anyway and so he just kind of was giving me little chunks of it 3 years out and you know I really argued to just have one you know just just close everything out just pay for everything one lump sum he could have done that but you can give it to me you got to just close down his account like the car payment for example just close that and so what he did was he did the 3-year timeline to keep me hanging so originally what I wanted was just get rid of that that 3 year timeline because it was suffocating me I couldn’t I couldn’t I just felt like I was under his under under his word like under his Timeline under his contract under his thing you know and I didn’t like that so what I want now now that this three-year timeline is pretty much over why I feel more comfortable talking about it is I just really want to share this message with women I really I really want to be comfortable sharing my story which I’m not still which is why it’s so vague and everything I want to be really comfortable sharing my story I want to relate to women that it’s okay to fight against the grain I want to call wish my book How The vaginal voice reclaim your story which is basically the story in more detail and lessons and and and breathing and had a really transmute at all that’s really what I want I really want at least use the lesson that I have all the pain that I have felt I want to use it in some way to translate it so that other women can kind of take my Consciousness and apply it to the bullshit they may be going through with other narcissistic you know Outlets other narcissistic men and women even so that is a very weird too cuz I think a lot of survivors of all kinds of abuse in trauma find that purpose and it’s the only way really to transcend whatever degrees of self-doubt or shame you know to it it’s take it takes a lot of boldness to overcome that shame for sure by speaking out about it but I keeping it inside and letting it Eat You Alive and you know I don’t I don’t talk about it publicly but I need to get comfortable doing that you know and I’m so anyway so I just want to say this to all the men that are following me cuz I have a lot of you know if you want to lift a woman up you will reap so much positive Karma I mean you will reap so much positive even another man children if you lift them up but if you if you intentionally strategize a way to suppress and oppress someone that is so going to come back to you like so much harder I mean this the person that I’m talking about May potentially not be able to practice law anymore I mean I don’t know what the consequences will be one of the specifics that I would like to highlight that is being investigated right now is that when I went when I attended one of his speeches cuz he gave speeches all around Washington DC and Baltimore actually really Nationwide but memes specifically in those two places so I went with him one time to DC and he was getting up an actual speech on police brutality he and I were driving back from the Washington Monument where he gave his you know his thing and he had someone else he was living with somebody else at the time you know he feel like a decade he was with somebody else already and I knew that already together for several years but he always wanted me to be quiet when this other person called because he was trying to give the illusion that he was always by himself obviously he wasn’t and so my phone made a noise in the car and I was already pissed at him it was already towards the end of our relationship and and so he he swung his hand at me and it smacked me in the face he was trying to I think you’re trying to get my phone or maybe he really was trying to hit me I’m not really sure but either way he smacked me in the face so hard that it gave me a bloody nose and so she immediately said it was my fault like the first thing you do if you have a bloody nose is you say my bad didn’t mean to do that that wasn’t what I was trying to do something that communicates you weren’t trying to do that you know what I mean at minimum if not apologize as well right he just kept on saying how it was my fault the whole time because he knows I should have known I knew my phone should have been on silent it was my fault so that’s what’s being investigated right now is was he intentionally trying to hit me you know what I mean cuz that would that’s the mean that would be a really big deal so because he didn’t apologize because he said it was my fault even at the time I I stayed quiet and I didn’t record it I mean four years I didn’t say anything because I just took it as he’s just angry just stay quiet just you know he’s just upset just you know it was a mistake but that was me really covering up all of this narcissistic skewed power Dynamic situation you know me playing along with it and so when I opened up this investigation also you know what fuck this I’m going to really tell tell the story like it really what I just said it just like this I reported it right and so that’s what’s actually being that’s I think the main thing what I believe is the main thing is being investigated from him along with many other any other things that I think should also go looked at but it looks like this is just being highlighted which you know is is fine I guess but yeah so what’s interesting is that this person even though he’s a lawyer he completely lied and made up a story and his response back about it that just made me look hysterical and he said that I was trying to grab the wheel and you try to protect yourself from me actually and that’s why he hit me I feel like a courtroom drama is such a theater of bullshit art anyway it’s just it makes me think of what you just said that it makes me think that it’s it’s a it’s a tragedy that the people who actually represent their clients and have to tell these ridiculous stories that are the that you know I mean I’m going to take your word for it because I just have that bias I’m sorry I take I take women’s words after I take I take one with the word what is it what’s that word you say not unquestioningly but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt in this in this case I give you the chance to the doubt and we’ll start there and then it and then it’s funny because I was just thinking right now so you just described your telling of that incident and it makes me want to see in a courtroom it’s like the future of of courtroom drama okay like you have a Hollywood production crew and they get models and actors in and it a whole production crew together to actually make a historical re-enactment docudrama of just that that scene and then after the after you get to show yours your docudrama this evening we get to watch his it’s like you’re screaming for swerving and people are like like women walking with the with their carriages and dogs suffer like screaming and running and having to jump into the fountain and oh my God yeah just like any narcissist portrayed himself like the victim and even though so not a victim I mean this man is millionaire I mean he’s very highly educated he’s in the position of power in the community he’s a mentor to like other officials in the community other governmental officials and you know it’s it’s really the biggest question that I have is why would someone like that want to be in a relationship with someone so societally disempowered like like myself I mean I was in a societal no position at the time like I was I was really a nobody you like what would turn you on like that’s what I really want to know like now that I look at it from hindsight like why would that really turn you on if you would someone like that and it’s because of the power Dynamic it really is what turns them on it’s that they have more power that’s it so has nothing to do with the other person right to have somebody be your equal obviously it takes half your power away when you can be when you don’t see them as your equal or they don’t stand up for whatever reason in your case not because you were extremely introverted or shy but probably more just that you were younger and figuring out life and you know then that’s another another for predators that’s I think you’re kind of yours it’s just it’s honestly Brown like it’s really disgusting yeah well that’s it’s really an and I was practically homeless at the time as while I was living out of my friend’s closet shuttle walk-in closet that was empty and I was that was where I stayed was with my friend I mean with interesting if I got it I got a question for you will come back to it so what’s interesting is that in this does have to do with my particular role in the situation but what I did which I hope every woman does the situation of really anyone who’s in a disempowered situation you have to use the tools are being given to you in order to lift yourself up and so I did start my own business he tries to take full credit for that he also tries to take full credit for my bulimia being healed you know he he always and that was actually one of the reasons why the breakup was was so like a seal the deal like he kept on saying to me you know I was really what I was writing my book and I started publishing it and I was talking about my bulimia being here. He started saying to me I healed it you know that it wasn’t it wasn’t you it wasn’t your practice it wasn’t anything that you were doing I healed and he said it so many times it was just so it just it just made me like see him clearly for the first time you know and so my advice that really anyone in a disempowering situation like that is really just to use whatever tools and resources are being provided to you use them to your benefit and I was able to walk away with the business I was able to walk away with more education I was able to walk away feeling in this order that I had I was able to walk away with more confidence with more understanding I was able to walk away also at with with with a reputation and my reputation it is working with women and now is working with men to doing the lingam breathing thing I just started doing that like a year ago but they’re saying leave the trauma well that’s about it so yeah so that’s that’s pretty much everything been you know I’m I’m I’m still trying to get comfortable talking about it I’m still trying to make cheese with the situation so the if we were to this is all say what you had a couple questions weren’t you know talking about what is what is it that these men in the end I think it’s just you know a kid in a candy store if you can get to that point I mean from my perspective I think what happens is most men in their horniest and most viral life years are also the most broke the most pimply the highest pitched voices and the most socially awkward and really unattractive to women as they’ll ever be so it’s really it’s a really bizarre mind-fuck to be a horny teenager and have no game and have only certain jocks with clear skin be the ones who get to be the prom King and they tend and they tend to do what people call peaking in high school meaning you think you’re that you know King of the Hill and you can hear the king bully or whatever the king jock and you get to be the prom king and you get you in the popularity contest and you get laid on you know on prom night or whatever but then after that you kind of go downhill and you just kind of lose your your mojo and you just join the workforce and you just reminisce on the old football days or whatever and you don’t really continue to strive and to achieve and to impress women maybe you’re locked into a sexless marriage and you know of any search Just For Men is about impressing women like on a subconscious level is that like whatever it is that like the power game like trying to get power I think you’re getting that you’re getting at it for sure which to me I have my psychoanalysis on myself and I can try to transpose this and and project it to a degree around me after my you know brother Circles of men’s groups and Tantra Meetup to know that it’s like the trauma I think with men is that because their ends up being a very disproportionate level of sexual starvation during your Peak years of sexual of what should be your sexual prowess and really only a handful of men get to experience that glory and then what happens is you just rot inside and you become obsessed and it takes maybe many failed marriages and many decades to become a professional success and then finally once your boner start getting soggy have money you have power and now your voice is a little bit lower your skin is in his pimply and your face isn’t do you don’t have baby fat on your face anymore and so you are becoming more attractive to women but also you have a SOG your boner and and honestly the aura of younger women in their Prime in their fertility Prime gets men’s dicks hard after they’ve gone soggy in 40 and above years so that is like this this weird kind of like sick joke that that Creator create Rick’s goddess I don’t know God whatever like Evolution whatever it it makes this interesting inverse situation and it really makes everybody lose in the modern Paradigm because if we were to acknowledge the Arc of male testosterone and also acknowledged The Arc of female fertility then we would celebrate older women being cougars and fucking younger men who are more Vero and we would celebrate older men getting your dick hard with younger women who are who are more fertile and that would solve a lot of problems are you interested in dating in your fountain of youth exactly you’re the Fountain of Youth there you go man who is making a lot of powerful decisions that I could be a feminine softener like I could saucin him a little bit because he was he probably is like he usually very hyper mess he let you know and he still is hyper masculine very hyper masculine and I did it it did turn me on to know that I was with a powerful man and I could be some type of Aid to him in my naivete well I will yeah I’ll tell you I’ve been in this is actually an awesome so we’re getting into some really you know I’ve got Goose Bumps thinking about this because this is the truth and the Heart of the matter that we have to explore to be honest as a culture about these Dynamics cuz that look at the Dos Equis commercial and I’m like yeah give me a fuckinbreak you know come on what is this really about is this guy or earned the respect of these women are those all his granddaughters you know what the fuck is going on here you know we all have that like sort of what the fuck is this guy doing at this bar with his 10 granddaughters what is it like you know what the hell is no ionic and it’s it it is really disgusting and disturbing because he used to an innocent with a narcissist will do to try to position his environment to mirror his power back to him and so he would say things like that to me like oh you know it’s it it turns you on that you know people see us and they think that you know I’m taking advantage of you and it turns me on to know that you know the real story and you know that I really take care of you and I really love you and I really all these other people were looking at us on the outside you know fuck them I was like that’s what I felt like I feel like this is proportionate power dynamics between us I didn’t see them because I thought I was part of his power now like I I thought I was he was part of my power and I was part of his power that’s what I thought with joining forces with him you know what I mean and in my naivete in my in cuz that’s what he led me to believe and what’s interesting is that he used to say to me a lot used to say you know I it’s about protecting me you don’t protect me baby it’s about protecting me for acne protect me when I would you know carry drugs with him and travel with him and put the you know the drugs up my pussy for him and do all this illegal bulshit with him he used to say Protect Me protect me like me take the hit like basically he was he was grooming me for years to take the hit for him you know and I always knew that and I hated that I hate that you would put me in that position but as the subordinate in that situation as the you know as as the the less or equal one I I would give you what you would say and I didn’t have family around me I think would also would also made him want to be with me is that I didn’t have family around me I didn’t have a man I didn’t have anyone around me you know I live around me a little bit of the time but she didn’t really do anything either like no one did anything like no one did anything and you know the whole the whole relationship with him grooming me to protect him so that I could take the hit if something ever happened I’m leaving out a lot of details that’s well that’s a very good stuff very interesting now I don’t think anyone forward after hearing about you shoving drug drugs up your pussy to protect the man is I mean in and I can commiserate because I will tell you I was in a similar relationship Dynamic with a woman who is ridiculously wealthy beyond my wildest imagination and I was in a relationship Dynamic with her that was very powerful sex magical power couple manifesting you know really the living the dream and she was almost 20 years older than me and I would say there was a real sincere beautiful love and adoration mutually going on but there’s also some subtle undertow currents going on of me basically waking up one day discovering that I had been tricked into being a come slave and that she was harvesting my seed in order to rejuvenate her Essence and that is something known to the Chinese Taoist and there are women who were empresses in The the more classical ancient age of Chinese sexual Kung Fu amongst the Imperial class and women were were known to actually like men alive with their pussies and kill them by sucking and Driver season almost dead I was like a tripled up and I had to go to hospital no it wasn’t that bad but you made you come like ever they all the time so nuts what will swallow it into the into the fine tissues it for a for vaginal canal and you know otherwise but you know mainly it’s it’s the way it gives you gets absorbed in Mexico older women are lusting and they getting these passionate make it into heat you know wild passionate fiery heat for the Young Bucks seed and the Chinese knew that it may take out get this the Chinese we have this it it’s something some people have tried to myth busted but supposedly there’s this mythical Cult of the white tigress and the white tigress Cult of essential Chinese types of yoginis you would say they understood these Dynamics and they had an astrological clock work of how they would ingest in I don’t know why but nothing just sit in their ass but at least they in the mouth in the vagina they were ingesting taking in male semen but they knew that they need to have a certain ratio of older more refined more semen retention men they were so they would have an older guy at a certain phase of the moon and then 10 younger guys at it another phase of the moon and basically they were figuring out how to like nurse themselves as if this is like a you know I mean it really is that guy that the semen is filled with nutrients that’s what is called Baby battery you know that’s not us that’s no joke another stick important nutrients in there and so it should be a beautiful Dynamic and when you look at what they’ve done with that culture you know they understood these things and if you were a man and you didn’t want to be you no SEC drive your semen you have to learn semen retention to survive the Wrath of the fucking and so it’s like this said that they call it the flowery Battlefield you know him and that’s how they eat that’s how they collided with poetic language of the war of the Sexes but sexual Kung Fu flowers Battlefield in are they had they had no, that’s for the Jade egg comes from when we were talking about sophisticated sex with Warriors we can figure it out again and you have kind of like yeah you’ve broken free and now you are like resurrecting that the power of the witch witches to actually run this stuff and I don’t I don’t blame her but it was sad because of a certain point I was like you know I’m learning more about Tantra I’m learning at that I’m getting to a point where I need to stagger my my release you know a little bit and so that was just to see if she lost her fucking mind as if I took away her heroin and it was just like she went crazy and it all went downhill and we broke up and it was extremely ugly and there was total Madness cuz you just wanted to come last that was a part of it then and then she wanted me to reverse my vasectomy in and I said no you are doing black magic and I can feel that you’re doing black magic to try to get Knocked Up by me so that you can keep me for around forever which I am I told you I’m polyamorous is not going to happen oh my God it’s like I hope I hope no one’s hearing this everybody to shut this off and deleted file or not we have got to come clean about these secret bedroom psychodrama the monado Pathak he used to do now since we’re talking about this so he used to say to me when we were having sex and mind you he always had to be on top of me always he always wanted to be looking down at me or you will say to me at the hot the climax of my orgasm he would say you know you want to get pregnant he would say you know I want to get you pregnant you know you’re my come slave you know your he was just sleeping ideas into me to make me fall for him all the time and then again making that power Dynamic more skewed as much as possible and so me being naive at the time I took everything he said no but he’s my man you know I love him he’s my man if he wants me to be his come slave I’m going to be home slave like I literally like I just took I didn’t think about anything he was saying to me as being a ways of positioning me to be more submissive to him to be I mean I knew that I knew that I knew that I was being submissive to him you know because he was my man and everything and and I loved him and anything you said to me I just wanted to make him happy I just wanted to make him give him what he wanted I didn’t see it as that black magic that you were talking about and so some of the things you would say to me sometimes some of the things you would slip in I would look at myself and be like does he did he really say that does he really want me to do that in me you would start talking about my friend you know you want to lick her pussy and like trends that I really didn’t want to do that with like friends I really didn’t have any interest in having threesome with or anything like that I’m so he would just slip things into me slip slip things in my psyche specifically when I was about to come like that’s really important you know and cuz you’re so you’re highly suggestible at that time like you can take any suggestion and in real you’re taking it in like your brain waves are or like sleep weight like when you’re dreaming there like your brain waves are in a much more you just absorb more when you’re in that frame of mind and so he would say that to me and now looking at it in hindsight he was really was just trying to brainwash me really you know I mean this was every day for years you know what I mean he always forced me to smoke weed before we had sex I didn’t want to I was like I don’t want to and I really do believe that now the issues that I have with marijuana like I really stepped back to that situation because he used to he literally stuff like physically coerce me like physically like he didn’t like push me but he would like to kind of would like even if he would just really like put me in situations and be like okay just take it just take a hit just do it and then he would want to have sex with me so that my mind would be even more open to suggestions from creep adelic shit and now I realize we’re going to have to name this podcast abolishing come slavery or you’re both of the come slaves cuz we both what your focus becomes today yeah okay alright fuck it is going to fly it’s going to fly just like that we’re going to we’re going to I was going to think of something very prudent and the moment you know she wasn’t on your team Edward and I would have died for I would die for him I would have littorai I love this man so much I was going to name my baby after him I’ll do a braid my baby’s hair just like his hair I was going to do all this stuff to just honor and commemorate him forever I was even trying to get a mural done of him on the side of a building in Baltimore that I just thought he deserved it that he did so much for the community but he deserved it but again behind the scenes he’s fucking up women did you receive the Malcolm X did you see the Spike Lee Malcolm X film with Denzel Washington I think you should really really watch that like really soon because that and show Girls as I mentioned before Showgirls will give you that sort of that cynical view on the the underbelly of Vegas for sure and kind of like bolster your your it’ll kind of inoculate you against a lot of the Vegas bulshit but if you see if you are shot Malcolm X it’s really a great film and you learn so much from it you know I can’t say from my studies how historically accurate is but it is really moving and like one of the things that they expose is this is the corruption of sexual excesses by spiritual leaders who claimed to have certain values and certain intentions and certainly preach certain values intentions but courser total Hypocrites and end up knocking up their servants or knocking up there just you know all these politicians Schwarzenegger it’s like it’s such a such a shitshow behind the scenes and and I think that you and I are or are seeking enlightened spiritual sexual Enlightenment within movements that at their best actually give us the tools to talk about this stuff and to be more honest about this stuff and you know I’m a little bit skeptical and weary of the country Colts and the the cult of personality around gurus and and what not but I do feel like it is the yoginis who are who are taking the power back and stealing the fire back and building their own temples in creating your own spaces where if you fix if I if you ask me where what would you ask if I had a conversation with this gentleman your cum Mass if you will I would say dear sir, Master I’m here to speak on behalf of your former come slave and and what we’re talking about now is like how you could have had your cake and eating it too and now you’re in you know some you know you’re in some some big trouble with with people who care about this stuff now but the thing that I would love to see is it like okay what if the women had the Deeds to the land what if the women manage their wealth collectively knowing that men are useful for physical labor some of them are useful for intellectual Pursuits and in service work but ultimately you know in a culture that worships the divine feminine life-giving aspect of Nature and the Oni and the wounded musically every everybody I mean women or in service to the womb regardless because they have to manage your menstrual cycle you have to manage your just rescuing like you don’t get a choice not to be a Yoni worship that your devotion is to your Yoni Temple you have no choice men have the option of whether to trash it and pollute it and abuse and rape it or they can be trained by women to have a sympathy and compassion towards the Oni and to actually devote themselves to building the temples that that that feed and nurse is stolen and in Steward the land so I imagine that a benevolent form of make sure where women are in as a sort of ecologically wise form of power that they would there would not be this shacking up to older men you have land and have money and have power but that power would not be granted to those men in the men would always be in a dynamic where they have to come and serve the temple to have to come and serve the goddess and they might get the blessing of a sexual experience if they planting of trees that day or Dig Inn recipes with build and rescue no cancel all of their effort and all of that you so you want to be you know like a hyper-masculine dominator will go dominate that pile of wood with that Axe and then and then will fucking Bayview down and and then we’ll fuck you fuck her brains out you know so that’s I’m I would ask the judge if there ever is a judge to adjudicate this matter to say can you please Institute matriarchal ecovillages for these men actually don’t take themselves in so they can have like an ethical you know what would it be you wouldn’t be a common slave you would be a cam princess to come Queen if I’m got it I’ve had I’ve had witches intelligently harvest my semen for Magical ritual purposes and offerings to their devoted. He’s so it’s like we can all become slaves if we devote ourselves property to the right you know the right being so you know on the other side of the veil but we we got a long way to go for sure this is the tip of the iceberg and you know if he in in his lawyers and the signs and errors and representatives and you already had it I listening to this. Gaston like you know I’ll see you let’s meet the stance on the astral plane and I’ll introduce you to some of the humbling dakinis who are going to make you want to repent you know and there’s hope I promise ya ya I loved it then so I really agree with everything you said I think the Met charcoal ecosystem is definitely the way it’s it’s a problem solver for many many problems not just come slaves problems but like the environmental issue I think you know the beauty of man like me being single right now in wanting you know like company and everything and and and you know I I I I still yearned a man like I still yearn to be in a relationship but I mean honestly like I just I’m at the point now where I’m really every man has their purpose you know what I mean just like I’m sure a lot of men who date multiple women like every woman has their purpose and so sometimes like you just most of the time we just need a man around like you said for intellectual conversation and a lift heavy things and I think that’s very honorable like I mean I that was what else what like what else can can we ask for you know what I mean like we don’t need all of this extra bulshit that you’re trying to do you know like that’s really all I need right now as I just I just want an intellectual conversation just like this and I need help lifting some heavy things and I would love to provide my Yoni goddess energy to you in exchange for any of the help she would like to give me you know well are we still are we still on the air do I get to do we get to Publix at live is that if I could I said official proposal because I said no and then and I’ve got like you know Mister the dream team of a stunt cocks and like there’s you need help I need a lot of help lifting things here I need to bring my trapeze in there’s a lot of women can’t make it by themselves you know what let me say this is going to sound a little random but honestly me going to this healing process I have been batting men away because I’ve just been here like I’ve been a little bit more short with with people like with my words and you know just trying to keep things limited cuz I’m I’m healing I’m not healing anymore it right now like I’m out of it but the first two years of moving to Vegas was brutal and and honestly you know yeah I just I just really I just really needed help I just really needed support and you know I’m I feel a lot better now I feel a lot lighter now but yeah I I still need help we all all women need a man even the lesbians and everything like we all we all yearn for that masculine energy to protect us provide for us in touch even if it’s our old masculine energy but it is I was starving for it for so long then I was so miserable for so long healing and trying to get over this trying to make sense of it and try to use the lesson and some benefits away and come out like a phoenix and make it work and you know we as I still want to be with a man Even though this happened to me even though I was traumatized even though all of this I stole urine I so would love it and I don’t want to go to a sperm bank I don’t want to have to go to a sperm bank 2 have a baby and everything like that but you know it’s it’s just like I mean I understand I’m at the I’ve gone through such a brutal initiation that I actually understand the women going to the sperm banks I understand the women the lesbians the bushes I understand that I really do I really do if I was not who I am and that was in some other situation maybe I would have stayed you know like a lesbian going to a sperm bank cuz I would have hated to be with a man cuz I would have generalized my situation to all men think of the boxer little bit I think I have a lot of gay men who are who are beautiful and who are obsessed with me and in a good way and I would love to have that proposed to them that they ate for a few nights of fertility out of the month that they be straight for pay and we get them in the mix because you know I’m clipped but but I can see that’s the thing like if we understand the opportunities in the opportunity to create a ritual around around conscious conception it’s not it doesn’t have to be like this this horrible curse of a contracted like oh my God I have to compromise so much just to get my biological clock that’s ticking me off faster and faster for women you know past 25 it’s time to get busy and it’s like I like to see a world where you don’t have to compromise any of your integrity and your sovereignty and leave your power and have your wealth and that you can have the designer motherhood to designer Parenthood within a community of Enlighten people and there’s just like a currency of love affection and sexual gratification that is not found by and nausea Mystic Street marriage contracts which only serve the state thus there’s a documentary called divorce court I think is what it’s called it’s all about it’s literally goes into the racket of how much money the state makes on the revolving door in and out of every marriage the state to accept money and they have ripped it there they read the whole thing so that all will give you these benefits so that you pay us to go into the end of the agreement and pay us to break the agreement we know there’s a 50% divorce rate for first marriage 80% on second marriages and it doesn’t get prettier after that End of Innocence yeah Gene Simmons from Kiss I watched a documentary he did on finance because he’s one of the most successful multi product line branding marketing Geniuses of the whole Remy’s the most enterprising Rock God ever more than any other good people just kill themselves with heroin and booze but he said in the beginning of his talk you said you know what’s the number one cause of divorce can you guys do you know what he said I said the divorce is marriage so number one cause of divorce marriage he was flipping the script just to be like it’s so doomed it’s so fatalistic like why even bubble and he said how shameful it is for society to accept this notion that for example like a young gold-digging wife and I don’t not see if not to say this to put you down but I think the same thing and something happened to Anna Anna Nicole Smith. I think she tried to like hijack the wealth of a super rich aging I think it was like an oil Mogul or something like that, or what his distinguished but basically he died so soon after they married because he was so decrepit when they first met that the courts actually said you know what we’re not going to give you all this money his family like please tell him I said no fucking way so that’s the end then I know there’s a there’s this hope yeah I I I believe that’s heard some I’m cuz I thought I saw a documentary in like the last 24 hours of her life or something and she was like taking all these shots and like oh my God I was just taking shots Lake oh she was it was like I think what it was was that she was representing some machine she was like taking like some kind of fat moderation shots or something like that and they were like causing I think they cause like an abscess and actually got infected and I’m really maybe butchering this so I would say nobody please you know don’t think I’m a massage this cuz I might put these facts but look it up if there’s a pattern that were talking about and this is like we’re getting deeper into these things that people are uncomfortable looking at and it’s like I know about this culture of of young women club club type stripper bartender dancers who strategically positioned themselves near the local football team so that they can be the one who gets knocked up and the baby daddy is Rich and she gets to take that DNA test to the bank and that was you know and like why wouldn’t you I mean if I were an intelligent cunning woman knowing that I lived in the skewed patriarchal situation I could shake it and get you know I pretty much turn a man’s head and like seduce him to impregnate me and I will be poking holes in condoms with pins you know I’m just being right but that’s like I don’t I don’t want to take you know that’s that’s that’s a fear and respect response you know that and there’s reasons why I almost refused to be intimate with a woman alone because I don’t want her to be a story about how I was there was any discrepancy you know in these situations which is a benefit like if we can move towards a paradigm where social sexuality is the norm then there will be no more he said she’s is there will be people who will be adjudicated the truth based on a triple entry Ledger of the truth so to speak like it’s not just what somebody says happened and what another person says that it didn’t happen it will be like we were all there that didn’t happen you know and then you just need to cool out but I think it’s just like you can’t go wrong with like eight handed massages while you’re you know making love I got it I just think that attention and so I respect the women like you were doing Yoni workshops with other women and their I’ve interviewed women have done nude yoga classes and it’s just like something magical happens when people adults in groups get just get naked and then they get raw and then I like while I don’t have to be fighting everyone I don’t feel so defensive and it’s just take some time and that’s what yogurt is good for and breathing and meditation and you get to that point where were you all feel like you’re one organism and you just want to be with you Joseph Pleasure P that octopus of pressure and like these creepy freaky things like the things that you’re talking about in the things that I’ve been through I would drag women they wouldn’t have a word attached to me and I would drag both of us out into the middle of the street to get witnesses can I get a witness funny vine Ivan I was a guy was a come slave yeah and it was like that if you if you only knew how legendary the public meltdown of that relationship was it was just like it was Jerry Springer on steroids and just the deceit getting worse and worse I had to literally run in the middle of the night to the edge of the property line to hope that the neighbors would see me screaming can I get a witness stomach hurts. We have a new pack it’s become slave pact slaves are definitely going to be a matter of like finding the people who are comfortable and have had enough of these traumas and privacy to like question I call it the cult of the couple or I might borrow that from someone else but I heard that term when I said yeah the cult of the couple that’s where all the fuckary happens if they call we were the madness happens in once you start opening up that container you know yes there’s going to be more Dynamics and possibly more drama but the thing is at least the drama will have more bullshit colors in more referees and people to say hope you’re you’re distorting the facts like you’re you know and just nonviolent communication goes a long way but but yeah we work yeah but the word last night I had a milk through it was in the Meltdown and it wasn’t totally of this would be we could melt through I love your neologism let’s melt through all of this bullshit together and I will I will come to the rescue so to speak and be you know a posting up for definitely part parts of my schedule as much as possible in Vegas for a lot of fun and interesting reasons but have no fear and if I if I have to like put some from somebody straight for pay or other straight men in the in the stunt cock rotation then you know you will be at the thought crossed my mind very organically for the first time and I am as natural as they come I mean I don’t I don’t like doing things in an unnatural way let alone comes conceiving a child but I’ve been you know what I mean. That was the essence of why me and my ex broke up was because he led me to believe for many years as you wanted to have a baby with me and you would say things to me like oh that gets my dick hard whenever I was talk about it you would literally say to me that gets my dick hard he was really just trying to deepen my pussy go deeper in my pussy open up my trust in him more and be more submissive to him and I’ll never leave him cuz I think he’s thought that I was just going to leave him to have a baby with someone else cuz our relationship was so it messed with the time you didn’t want me to leave and so I thought about it very organically for the first time it just crossed my mind and I am so not the type to go to a damn sperm bank I mean the way that a man the way that it would it would degenerate I would think like the moment you ejaculate the sperm start Sox’s oxidizing it starts to generate so it’s not even worth it even though I’m sure they have practices to fight against that and conserving but I’m sorry if anyone you know as an advocate and come on the show and talk about it but I think it’s really disturbing myself to like I want to have a baby like I want to I want to raise a child that I want to I would even adopt you know and so I burned anything literally I was able maybe I can just get find someone who went to the sperm bank and have a relationship with that like I was trying to really think about it I was like what do I do you know what I mean and I’m not even the tight then so I can’t imagine other women who have been in similar situations where you know I can’t imagine yeah I’ve will have actually helped the former lover of mine who was absolutely heartbroken that I got a vasectomy right around the time that we are falling in love and she said she would do anything to reverse it and she wanted so badly and I was honest and I said look you know I have like a II my jeans are like spoiled and polluted and ruined by some evil demonic hierarchy From Another Dimension and I’ve seen that so deep in shamanic ceremonies that I just know that it is my absolute duty to no longer perpetuate this DNA on Earth and like a monk’s make one that’s a huge that’s a spiritual thing to own you know I mean I’ve seen on iOS away that demons crawl on the family DNA bloodline the way like a spider web time alone you know so this intergenerational trauma is no joke and I see it as like the way that we humans are capable in our worst states of perversity towards nature we’re capable of really abusing plants and animals by domestic getting them in a way that really makes them unsuitable in the wild like we went over domesticate them and we make them weak and susceptible to pests and disease and we have to be their caretakers Ever After because of that that’s like sort of the double-edged sword of domestication while we are also as human beings being domesticated by entities from the Demonic realm and that’s why schizophrenia is rapid that’s why you have these degenerative disorders and all these things are basically the handiwork of entities that are farming us from the astral plane beyond our perception and put if you take a third eye opening psychedelic then you will see what is stowing away in your chakras and you might discover that like oh yeah this like pattern of sexual abuse in a family is actually a burrowing creature that has nested within one generation to the next and they for all we know they’re like hyperparasite they’re basically a hyperspatial parasite and so you know I know that there’s things like attached to my soul that I need to purge in this lifetime ritually through the Tantra and basically not let them have another generation you know I would not let them have that low-hanging fruit like they already cracked and hacked the DNA of my bloodline when I asked my mother about like hay like what have you not told me about a lot of things you don’t she’s like yeah basically everyone our family has problems you know I think my mother was abused as I think that it’s like well I’m about to shine a light on all this bullshit and part of it is like being responsible so if I were you I mean I say we go on a world tour of the humblest most Serene indigenous villager populations of people who have been making Ayahuasca for thousands of years and look in their eyes and you see the purity of their soul and if they would do you the favor of allowing a fresh Soul strain to be repopulated you your room then we might have a chance but like you know I’ve listen to Catholic Exorcist who I take very seriously because it’s busy as loony as they might be you know they have some some perspective on the truth and one of them this guy Brother Carlos who has that got demons website I just absolutely love him because he’s like the Chris Farley Exorcist she’s like totally like an over-the-top like slapstick comedian ridiculous but but he takes very seriously and when you say something like that all humans have demons except for Jesus Christ because he was the Immaculate Conception in other than that I don’t know you said Adam and Eve and Jesus Christ were the only humans who don’t have demons because we inherit demons from our ancestors and from our parents not to mention any said demons enter freeways one inherited through your bloodline to you did something evil and you invited them into an evil act that contract with them or should I get something negligent and naive and ignorant a man and One locking himself out and raping his own and being possessed though he may not feel like he his Free Will was involved then his negligence allowed for entities from the Demonic realm to possess him and therefore intend to him and it’s not going to be it’s not going to be easy to do that removal work and so if you’re an exorcist you an exterminator and you know how these things function and you know how they brew and you have to do is squeeze the last of them with all of your all your might you know in the mighty name of the Lord Jesus Christ I cast you into the abyss that’s what he could have like a million times a day and I don’t know if it works but I will tell you what like some deep territory what it looks like to have conscious conception and to protect that contain of the Egyptians they knew about this that thing how to ritualize the protection of the womb space population and the intention for conception because that is a you’re bleeding and in this week coming in shark-infested loans Interstate know when we’re getting it on that’s why they afraid of masturbation they do know that when when you raise that arousal energy hitting the dinner bell to all of those dark horses how do you how do you invite the Holy Spirit accompany me to the bedroom and you can have that love and go up that is a whole nother conversation for another episode that really that’s the essence of what why I’m here doing any of this it’s like we have got to get really honest about abuse abuse that happened and only we’re going to do is to talk about it come together and support each other and really compensate for each other’s weaknesses and and like not exploit each other’s weaknesses but actually like really authentic Lee don’t like meet you with your needs where you’re at if your young woman if you’re an old woman you know if you were a email frigid if you have vaginismus if you remember so many things that affect the womb so many things affect women in like the last thing you need is like some guy to come in and manipulate you and trample you and caress you and leave you like worse off than he found you and like back after thinking you took a step forward you know that’s why we got a break so can you hear me by the way then yeah I can still hear you I think you know I’m sorry that was a long rat what I have to do and I love it I love it I just I think that’s the connection breaking because I actually left my home but but like I heard what you’re saying it and it is really appropriate for what we’re talking about later because the connection is breaking up and I think it is because I left yeah that’s that’s cool I think we’re well beyond the healthy stopping point and it was there a stretch but I think it was worth putting especially if anybody who is like your enemy now because of what you’re doing I would love for this if it’s fucking a let’s all talk about all those kids so thank you very much we need we need to make another conversation about this because the humans are was ruining everything indeed yes indeed by yeah that’s a nice to finger and so is there anything that you would you like to have the editorial if you want to hear this you can just double-check know do you want to have that final Eden Prairie reviews The Shocker right if you want we can do that I will not understand until you hear my edit am I you can okay cool alright then well then it’ll be a couple who love you too. Take care of this going to be out in a couple days thank you thank you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to see me and if you want to podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple after bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Archer Park. Com Damas de

How the Plantrika Dr. Yalila Espinoza is Healing the Soul of Crypto TPP192

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Yalila PicIn this episode I’m joined again by Dr. Yalila Espinoza for an exploration of her medicine journeys into the heart of the cryptocurrency and blockchain movement.

I first hired Yalila to advise on an experimental healing ceremony design back in 2013 after discovering her great works online. Now over 5 years later, we’ve remained colleagues and friends in the shamanic space, and have done two previous podcast episodes, it turns out we’ve also been deeply immersed in crypto-psychedelia.

It was an exquisite gift to be able to have her on the show this time to talk about this aspect of our life journeys that we hadn’t yet connected on, and see the many emergent properties of mutual understanding and shared analysis.

She’s been doing some amazing work to bring sacred wisdom teachings, ceremony, ritual, and other shamanic modalities into the the heart and soul of the crypto movement. Knowing she has stepped up in this way feels like a new multi-dimensional super heroine has arisen to build bridges from the amazon jungle to silicon valley, wall street, and beyond.

Please visit her website at:
https://inner.one

About Yalila:
With this unique moment of cultural evolution, Espinoza finds herself at the center of an ecosystem where powerful business and technology influencers are asking for healing and wholeness.  While working in hospitals within a medical model and then conducting her PhD research on wellness and healing, she noticed the gap in the delivery of health services and the chasm between her own esoteric spiritual offerings and the specific needs of thought leaders. Espinoza found that her clients, while pioneering new businesses and technologies tended to suffer from burnout, depression, and disease. She realized transforming the human and machine networks of the world, like the Internet, must begin with physical, emotional, and mental transformation of the self. So in 2017, Espinoza founded InnerNet, an integrated wellness advisory offering online programs, one-on-one coaching, and retreats designed to optimize leaders’ potential to realize their missions with creativity, clarity, and compassion. 

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast episode number 192 I am being blessed today with Doctor you Lila Espinoza founder of internet and a wellness consultant and she’s been on the show a couple of times before please go to my website and look up you’ll be the Espinoza you will find some very deep it’s a very deep Rabbit Hole added to the things we’ve gotten into in the past with Shamanism and healing work and now we’re going to be talking about healing and Shamanism through technology and through blockchain and all really new and exciting developments that to have have cut the world taking the World by storm and we are Kindred Spirits in our approach to I would say the the promise of of a decentralized more mycelial type of networking architecture for governance and for autonomy in for communities in in having that deep lens of shamanic practitioner work and in Journey work we can I would say really resonating really commiserate on the need for a a bottom-up approach to solving the world’s problems in in and starting with the financial problems in the capital distribution problems startup funding problem venture capital for women Founders for people who are doing philanthropic work there’s a huge need for this and also there’s a lot of people who are outspoken psychedelic Warriors within the crypto space I know that the anarchapulco conference has a a sort of there their opportunities for for for ceremonial work that that I’ve heard about and there’s also a crypt of psychedelic conference that’s happened at least once already if I don’t know if it will win next one is being planned but I had to have some some conversations with folks around that already so I’m looking forward to catching up with you you Lila and please tell us all about what you been up to and I love to just hear that they love story of you you’re you’re recording of the blockchain tech I love hearing about how people you know get seduced and then become Believers yes thank you so much for having me and saw the listeners I look forward to connecting and whatever way is in the cosmic alignment so it’s interesting because I’ve reflected in the past week about my journey with in Shamanism psychedelics and now technology because I’m giving a talk actually later today in San Francisco and I I looked at how you know focusing on the Life Energy centers of our body and how I started off an academic world in the medical model working in hospitals really focused on health and wellness and what does that mean for humans in in this part of our Evolution and became dissatisfied and then went into you could say that the third Energy Center of power and when it is Shamanism and in terms of you know how energy is used in in healing and really the base of a believe in Shamanism is around at the power to tap into these energies to know them to work with them and be in service to our community and so the power of the light in the dark and shamans choosing which way they want to search time is it really the the key difference so I went into a long journey in Shamanism personally 3 Anjali and going down into the previant jungle and having my first three months at Journey with Ayahuasca and tobacco and it’ll in isolation very intense journey and that really well 13 years ago was the start of my connection with technology and Consciousness I realize that now reflecting back because in that dream journey and isolation I came out of that we call them deetta’s I called him so much Journeys and out of that three months you know one might expect you and I are I love myself and I found God or if you know found my purpose in life what I asked that came out of that Journey with was the importance of finding a way to bridge traditional Shamanism with contemporary technology and that for me to be in the world and actually thrive in the simplest way what I needed was my iPhone in one hand and my pipe into back one another and with those two technologies I would be able to to learn how to reconnect with the soul of technology so so then I didn’t think much of it at the time but really then it led me to the second Energy Center and all-around sexuality and sensuality I did my PhD research on that and when it’s my own Journey around that piece of of my healing that needed to happen and then was serving as a counselor and a Healer around sexuality and psychedelics which maybe cuz I was speaking at Horizons in New York on the on my research study and that’s what I met in 2013 the sum of the blockchain folks and one of them in particular who is hosting me we became good friends and he led me into the folks who actually work Hill from the co-founders of aetherium in the start-up projects that were happening in your cat at that time is pretty early 2013-2014 and I can’t I didn’t think much of think much of the technology I just didn’t have that background so I couldn’t understand it but was fascinating is through my serving in an offering psychedelic Journeys Inn in South America to these folks in the blockchain world I was actually able to see how the mechanism of this technology in ceremony so my first taste of it was actually seen it you know hallucinating or altered state and seeing the connection somehow the minds of these blockchain folks are so strong I think it generally in the tech world that it was such a was so invigorating and an exciting because that I could actually asked him to show me you know quantum physics and mathematical equation I could see it and so then okay that I went to you no more of the written information and actually learning about the code and and seeing how and if practical way they would this information was being ground within the blockchain technology and then all the incredible positives that came out of this technology could be the foundation of a whole new like paradigm shift in the way that values is exchanged so that was really exciting to me and you know this this took me a good for years to learn I’m a slow learner and one way but I also like to learn deeply so I was learning it experientially and then your written material talking to a lot of the blockchain founders of Neo various companies and then he knows Tina and action and actually you know getting some of these apps and in learning me know what they can actually do and going to a lot of conferences watching Converses and and that just got really caught up in just the excitement you know this is a space that is just draws a lot of innovative minded future thinkers and innovators and you know just a sense of camaraderie and supporting each other and I couldn’t believe how welcomed I was as coming from academics in healing they they respected me and I respected them and I was able to learn how to you no make that bridge from my world to their worlds and really getting excited about the exchange of our information and so I just was seduced by I not only they technology but the people that were drawn to it and the dedication to changing our our economic Paradigm & in the way that we set up all kinds of you know housing and you know land and food and it is just so incredible so you know here we are 5 years later and I’m still right in the mix of it and you’re really excited now about virtual reality and Ai and how that can be bridged into the ceremonial space that’s that’s my journey so far in NFL well that was so amazing and I just was having chills and I could just cinematically follow along and when you got to the point of when you said you were able to see how the technology Works in ceremony that was so deeply moving and so beautiful because it’s such a multi-dimensional phenomenon and if in it’s so multi-layered into to appreciate I think I I made this comment to a friend is all it was a very very high level developer in his face and he and I I just made a joke in a recent podcast with him I said the Bitcoin makes Bitcoin makes crop circles looks like look like a play school set you know in terms of the degree of multidimensionality that goes into it and it is it is such a I mean and Andreas Antonopoulos recently and in one of his podcast video presentations and interviews he he said that when he read the Bitcoin first year of the Bitcoin white paper but then when you actually read the code it was for him basically like a symphony and he was brought to tears when he could understand the genius of it and it’s so apt for a for psychedelic journey to be able to ask for this for this field of of wisdom and information and Math and Science and Technology and code for it to just presented itself and dance in your mind for you in that place of ceremony where anything’s possible anything can be visualized and so I just think that is so beautiful on the inside knowing that you also this is really mind-blowing for me to knowing that you have this I wasn’t aware so much so basically we had already been talking and both of us had had this sort of like part of our subconscious basically beginning to be initiated into the space but we weren’t really because it wasn’t of our direct backgrounds it wasn’t an instant sort of I guess it didn’t click instantly for me I was explain how work and I thought it was cool and I was like yeah that’s internet money for anarchists that’s awesome you know but I wasn’t an investor I wasn’t a coder and it took a while once I went through you know the second Energy Center sexuality and and it was beat the psychedelics it actually showed me the importance of myself dropping my energy down into the first root Center where you no money safety you know security that whole place at a lot of healers you know maybe feel uncomfortable in or don’t have the opportunity to be in that often that I was able to really staying in this Center and part of it was that I was getting paid in crypto you know years ago from some of my clients who are you know the pioneers and in blockchain and I didn’t understand what that meant at the time I was like okay I guess they’re very kind and helping me open up my first Bitcoin wallet etcetera and I didn’t even understand it at the time and effort to understand it because you know what that meant for me and how to do the exchanges and things like that so I started off and makes it more The Surreal level of the fit if you say mathematics and physics and seeing how matters to me is a version of God of that Godlike energy and seeing how it comes down into the code it is beautiful really need and you see it yeah I totally agree and you know that I don’t know if you how big of a Terrence McKenna fan you are thinking of becoming more of a Dennis McKenna fan over the years but something that I loved about so endearing to me about about a lot of his talks was when he talked about the feminine Spirit of internet technology and how excited he was that we would be able to eventually use things like VR to give people immersive training or sort of it be able to create a visual language like the Ayahuasca experience where we could start to really understand each other better through through a universal language that is symbolic but also based on objects and colors in math and it to me this is such a fulfillment of that feminine Force coming through a lot of people who are you know he would always say that you go to a Silicon Valley startup office and it’s all these microdosing you know acid heads with hair down to their ass and I’d like to hear I know there was a time when you were when you were when you were starting to talk about Silicon Valley and bringing the medicine the same to you go and bring the medicine to those who are really reshaping reality from that level of of power of Technology do you want to just talk more about maybe without disclosing anything confidential of course just some of the some of the before and afters you’ve had the makeovers that you’ve had with some of the tech Geeks and how they’ve how they’ve been able to be massaged by that the medicine Spirits have become to Adorn one of them did gently say to me if they feel it’s not a lie to myself that is that a techie kid learning to love that part in myself and and and also honoring that you know every person is different in their enemies that divers field and that there are some common patterns that I have seen and the fact that I was given the directions psychedelics to serve a particular Community around the you know very influential and Powerful leaders in the text field that I’ve been able to track and and see how they actually lead differently in and really the the number one thing is the realization that the transformation is starts with the inner transformational journey and so even having the giving themselves that time you know few days it’s you sink into a different space in their mind right so it’s not like I have a container and say okay everyone thinking about your project Source. You know you know this go back to your family history and I want you to cry or something not at all what I was seeing is that the synthesis the stamina in the dedication in the Brilliance of these of these folks and that it really good-hearted people and that they were passionate about what they were doing and giving their mind that’s almost like the ceremonial space giving their mind a space to allow other information that may not be in their Consciousness you know at the time she come through and that’s where you hear about folks you know even the microdosing folks if they go to Peru and sit with Anna Ayahuasca Circle and I you know ask a question of it a problem that they’ve had you know mathematical equation or some something on their project they can’t quite figure out and that giving up space to have the different kind of intelligence guide them in in discovering a piece of the puzzle and so I find that you know when in general folks being very compassionate and curious and how these intelligence come together the other thing is in terms of their leadership is that once they are hard intelligence because that’s really a lot of the psychedelics the sacred psychedelics are helping us to tap into that heart energy into once they are in love energy seeing that the influence that makes and how they engage with their team member so you know more of a knowledgement that is it you know they’re all together in this project and higher level and it really honoring people for where they’re at in the heart of leadership is is learning how to inspire people to grow within the company within their teams within the project until having more patients and you know seeing the bigger picture so it’s not all about profit and yes of course I’m surprised and seeing that if if there’s a dedication to the why of their company and of the people that are there then that why and the purpose of the collective purpose actually creating more success and inflow with within the within the company so that’s one pattern also that I’ve seen Etsy the other that the third one is is around these texts Psychonauts of the learning how to bridge technology and spirituality which is always been one of my big passions and I didn’t really know how it so they’ve taught me a lot and in how this connection can unveil itself and in many ways and then coming from their religious background or spiritual background and then how they think of of math and in quantum physics in relation to a fascist like it blows my mind you know when they’re talking to me about this cell this Ray this field of the interplay between the Divine and the and form and structure and yeah I didn’t mean to cut you out there to say I wanted to make that mention so please continue the inner transformation and their their passion and purpose and then the second with the love more love and compassion for all the teams and and then that the more philosophical connection here that those those really stand out for me folks that were with me five years ago are still with me so I actually am able to track you know connect with the Divine or connect with the love Center I mean it cuz it’s not that simple everyone is sort of you’re learning a different piece and and so really what I love to do is trade space that people can share these pieces with each other and in how that actually informs that transition for their next step you know when whatever fits a personal life or professional life but it is still fascinating to me and I’m so very you know intimately woven in with with the baseballs beautiful well knowing now even more haven’t you said all of this which is so beautiful and invigorating and exciting and I just I’m so I’m so glad we’re just In This Moment having this conversation because it has been I feel like I’m it’s been extremely painful and in in triggering for me to to look at the shadow of what’s happening in this in this space which is you know I’m going to ask you to bear with me for a minute while I kind of organize my thoughts on how to how to bring this Dimension to the conversation in a in a good way I’m going to Omit using that the names of any individuals that I will not going to call anybody out or or put any putting it in the spotlight to anyone but but it’s it’s what would what I can see if we step back from from a more shamanic perspective is that there is a in absolute crisis of hyper toxic masculine Behavior that’s creating these extremely almost mythical an archetypal Wars of the Gods and end DIYs always think it’s a play on words to think about how Davis and Davies in in the in and they can talk about the devil’s right so there is it’s almost like The Vedic battles in the sky to me these genius mathematicians cryptographers programmers and them their armies of now the Speculator there’s all these high frequency trading robot armies that are trolling the warring factions and so it’s kind of like if you were to open The Vedas and you see them describing these battles of cities in Disguise and all of his alien foreign hyper advanced technology and the sort of drama playing out and the people on Earth are watching this drama and just trying to trying to create some record of it and most of it is just completely unintelligible to them cuz it’s so far out and so Advanced and almost seems like there’s just this war of the AstroWorld coming down and and duking it right above Earth dropping debris from that that Astro Battlefield and things just like falling on people’s heads and then people just scratching their heads trying to make sense of it so you have the bestest what’s coming to my mind when I think about these these programmers and their projects and their their Venture funding and all of these different puppeteers of technology in this battle between open source and closed source and regulated and unregulated in public and private blockchain Jaden and if it would it would it all is sort of sort of this rhyme of history is just these patriarchal warlord and we would calm just really do she really kind of integrated uninvolved masculine guys who are who are gorgeous and I’m just they’re just getting more and more narcissistic and sociopathic and they’re tweeting and and the technology of social media creates this really kind of Twisted Echo chamber and when I when I bring this up sometimes people will say of you know you’re trying to use psychedelics in ceremony and Shamanism as a Panacea and you know it’s not a magic pill and you know but I just keep saying like I think I need to hear these men do that family work and be brought into a ceremony where do certainly the ones that are that are just creating like threatening to just nuclear meltdown of all the cryptos in the opposing camps and just using their stashes of Mega you know stashes of of Bitcoin to flood the market and to manipulate as tactical that what they call the hash worse but that just happened in probably the hash words just knocked bitcoin price and 1/2 they’re just waving around these lightsabers and in in digging into the charts and and I one waiting for the sort of like trumpeting angels to come in and bring in the Davies you know the akalis in a Durga is going to come in and start grabbing these These are is Zeno by the by the Scruff of their neck and in and actually intervene so I’m wondering I know that’s a lot but anybody who is his familiar with yoga Tantra me all the scriptures that the talk about these epic battles or even from the Western perspective that the mythical Gods fighting you know this is not new and what seems to be the promise of the Shakti movement of Tantra and the Psychedelic feminist movements coming out of their group that you’re involved with there’s got to be some maternal wisdom brought to these boys and their toys you know so that she take it from there I totally resonate with this the Epic War analogy because it is real is that I’ve been to blockchain conferences and meetups in cities all over the states and and you’re up and and what really carries me through and I feel so fortunate somehow I have this eternal optimism and I certainly see the shadow I see the darkness 10 gauge with it and I’m still very optimistic and I think it’s really in my own connection with the sacred psychedelics in that they’re continually I feel like they got my back and they’re continually raising me up and and encouraging me and motivating me a stay steady with in the turmoil and I feel like for a lot of us and probably folks listening that this is part of our role is to learn how and these These are at War like an energy battle that we are centered and we emanate that that love and not always loving everyone per se you know that’s around us and in this these toys with our boys with toys and I do feel I can honestly say neutral when I meet them and I and I just said luck and I just what I’m doing is I’m like an anthropologist and I’m watching am seeing how they’re engaging with the but that the people around them and I start where people are at right so when I’m speaking to some of these folk is not like I think he would be good for you to do family systems work and come to this you know come to Peru like I would never say that I start or people are at I’m like what motivates you right now and you know once the trust his is built by and continually is is building and there’s a softening that happened so you know for me in 5 years in and I I do believe that there is a beautiful sense of respect for each other and trust this building and I’m watching where this energy takes us play so I what I can get really involves is the patience and perseverance and faith and that this is you know way bigger than me I’m being in service and being directed by these other intelligences along with my own you don’t be Discerning and where to actually Channel my energy and then I’m patient and it’s been tough you know I really wanted to get into some of these blockchain meetings and and I have actually is sometimes I’m like okay let’s talk about the let’s talk about how you know the technology is actually had of our human consciousness level as well as our laws right so you know how can we catch those pieces up to the level that technology to actually maximize the benefit of it and then you know how can we actually expire is that Founders and CEOs and and developers to to build that projects that are noble that have elevated intentions that that is a sense of good for all I do feel it’s possible yeah I totally agree I Kevin this is the most thrilling and exciting development in my entire life for sure if not in the history of the battle of Good and Evil on Earth that’s I really feel like it and you can see it it brings out the best and can sometimes bring out the worst but but really even those who would be considered more more super villains now in the space the lot of them started out as Jedis training humbly with Yoda it you know so they all have that imprint of that desire to do good eyebrows really very few people who I think are are fundamentally irredeemable I mean I don’t know if I feel better that way about anybody in the darker the shadow is the more potential there is to bring that medicine from those places so I agree with you and then I fly it’s I guess it’s easy for me to say or easier for me to say in some senses because I am a white mostly cis-male and so I don’t experience some of the author of out of the exclusion and in sometimes bigotry but at least at least Prejudice and you know it was through the women in crypto track at the crypto invest Summit in La last year that I discovered things like there’s only four percent of female CEOs in the US at least and then only 2% of venture funding goes to women Founders and that studies have proven that female executives are more profitable so whether you’re a feminist or not you’re leaving money on the table if you’re in any kind of a position of power in the business world in the investment world to not be creating more balance in in that in that space so I guess I’d like to ask psychedelic feminism Financial feminism women in crypto women in blockchain do you find yourself a building strong Sisterhood networks in circles amidst all of the other boys with toys as he said to align myself with very brilliant women in the field and be there and so we’re learning with each other and what’s just so inspiring is that some of these clients who are in their late 20s early 30s forging ahead and they sell I don’t know how they do it but they just have this determination and and also feminine ways of going through these hurdles in their in their workplace and them in the company’s and let me know some of them Founders and dealing with the hiring of a lot of that males and and and how that that plays out in the power struggles and they just they have such Grace and I just witness them you know managing it all in a way that’s it really inspiring and stay and then when they’re also going through these psychedelic Journeys I see that they just become more and somebody’s determined and focused and incompetent and and you know they’re also patients over time I see them gain their respective of their colleagues and you take a couple years of storming and and then there’s this is kind of settling that happens and so I I am extremely inspired by the women in blockchain in particular and just wants to be in service to them in any way I can so that they can continue to forge ahead also well on that note I would say we should definitely spend the rest of this our here just having you tell us all about more in detail what it is that you provide and what you’re offering and what your projects are now we got I think this was a good sort of philosophical overview and Andre connection for you and me to to get to get caught up in the space but I really would like to hear more and maybe we can also I guess we can go for as long as you are available at today and in this timeframe to talk about your projects and introduce what you’re doing with your hair with your new your new Ventures and and really make this more of a of a promotional pitch for the remainder promotional pitch for me that’s it really exciting right now is I would love to connect with folks who are working in the VR AI space and are interested in psychedelics not only interested but wanting to create platforms where people can engage in these different fields at virtually and so I know it’s happening I am in San Francisco right now I’m going to meet some some folks in the field tonight and for anyone who’s listening that I would just appreciate a shout out and I’m please connect with me that info info a 10.1 i n n e r o n e because I I really interested in collaborating I would love to work on a team whether it’s already clean a project that’s happening right now or someone wants start one I just have so many ideas about how this could coming to that material in the world and I know a lot of folks in the you know blockchain developers as well as healing practitioners and really wanting to be a bridge between these worlds in and connect folks who can contribute to a project like this so that’s my first pitch in terms of concrete offerings right now I think my two favorite people in the world now that had I met through the blockchain space are this Penelope and America they are the Cyber code Twins and their East LA born and raised Latina women in Tech who have taken the World by storm they’ve got TED Talks they have been winning hackathons and they have I think one of the things they developed together with second virtual reality drug and alcohol rehabilitation immersive experience for people who can’t afford to go to like Celebrity Rehab and that’s one application I don’t know what their personal interest is necessarily in psychedelic Shamanism however they seem to be very open-minded and they are 8 leaving One Like a White House award or something like that they’re just absolutely storming the charts of the women in crypto and I’ll send you a link to one of their TED talks but yeah I know that there it would probably be really good allies in that and not space I just wanted to mention them and then yeah go on please continue practical way the internet is offering three different project and the 1st is out there called dinner one Retreats and so these are live 225 day Retreats held in beautiful places for folks to get back to their vital bodies and be rejuvenated by nature to these are wellness retreats and you know cluding Mayo massage and Sound by sand yoga and meditation life coaching and team-building exercises and then some of the in South America do include Ayahuasca and someone Mexico include psilocybin so those are those Retreats and then there is an online program it’s called zero to one building blocks to Wellness and it is I was here I consider it more of like a integration platform for people so that they can continue harvesting the the fruit of what comes out of these lab Retreats or vice a versa can be a good preparation for Allegra tree and it’s focusing on daily Wellness practices and it’s interesting after how many years in the Psychedelic world I’ve actually gone back to the basics and I feel that you know it’s wonderful to be in a journey and see all kinds of amazing things and we still are in bodies in this lifetime in this earth and that I’m going back to you what we are drinking and eating our sleeping near so many books speakers that focus on this and a night it’s because it’s so essential it’s in so really the program going back to the basics and I just reminding us to be but I guess being mindful of our daily practices so that’s the 0 to 1 and then there’s another piece that is it’s actually new and it’s it’s pretty exciting I’m working with a group in Europe and it’s called Legacy Ventures and we’re going to be offering Retreats that actually is facilitated by many different facilitators and shamans from around the world and and so I’m just one of them one of many and offering Retreats on the difference element so have a 1 focus on fire and having fire ritual what does that mean in our lives and in her a lot of these folks are in our Business Leaders CEOs and and then another Retreat focus on the water and the Earth in the air and then that sacred Center so that’s just starting this year and it’s it’s really exciting for me to be cooperative with other leaders and also I just opening up to the European folk sand and feeling so what is that like and what are they wanting these days and then see the parallels in the differences between the United States and Canada and Mexico so that. In a nutshell is what I’m up to you for this year that is so amazing what we do a push-up real needs everything you’re doing now more than ever and I’m just so thrilled I feel like I’m reading a comic book or something in your just the new Marvel comic book superhero in this of swords and in just adding these new new levels of armor and magic and Empower I can just see I see the the sort of thing I get a better sense of the multi-dimensional warrior Goddess that you have just become an indigenous is so exciting to me to tell me more folks who I don’t have to run into a brick wall trying to explain the the seriousness the timeliness the importance the relevance the you know it’s really really demoralizing and sometimes heartbreaking for me when I get stonewalled it’s not about it’s not about losing out on the opportunity 4000 X Games it’s about losing out on the under this will be some I see it is one of the most rare opportunities in the history of political discourse certainly political economic discourse where the radical libertarian and some people would like to use the word left anymore but definitely from the the libertarian to the anarchist perspective this is one of the first time ever that anything from these camps actually became not just mainstream but was so Superior that it was subversive as a side effect of its superiority to the to the to the disorder let me know Malcolm and Malcolm X I believe said something like if you want it over to the system you have to create a better one system but make the old system obsolete is really what it comes down to so I love it when people talk about the Legacy banking system and the Legacy voting system and it’s like we’re already in this Ann turkel crypto Anarchist future where people from Wall Street are defecting enjoying the Occupy Wall Street movement and bringing their bags of capital with them and you know I love people like I will say the name of Joe Lubin I think he is one of my most beloved and endear real shining examples of coming from a feminine place of problem solving and team building in and you see how his Vibe is really impenetrable to all of the pickings and and browbeating is of the progressive alt masc so cheers to him and into the others and Andria’s and other people who keep out of the drama so yeah before I go too far off into the weeds I want to thank you so much again in to see if you would like to share your your website links and maybe if you would if you have time to just give us a bit of a closing meditation that that brings us all together those who were cryptophobia can those who are crypto douchiest and everything in between let’s let’s all make space for each other around this fire. One i n n e r o n e and email is info at in and either myself or my members will respond as soon as we can definitely look forward to connecting with some of you listening now I know that there’s Brilliance all around us and it’s a matter of coming together and matching are our gifts together okay so in terms of thinking of our energies I invite everyone to receive a deep breath then I’ll land here together and reflecting on all this information that has been shared and inviting you to feel in your body where does this information land for you how are you feeling is there an a butterfly’s is your mind buzzing butterflies in the belly butterflies in the heart what’s with activated for you and breathing in is energy and I asked if you’re willing to commit 21 action step spell connecting with you know how you’re feeling right now are you feeling at your best at your most joyful place in this moment in this conversation and then are you committed to an action step that will actually Manifest this feeling and you are unique Vision in the world is taking a minute be very simple drinking more water and it could be very big like asking the sacred psychedelic that you next connect with is it for you anything in between what’s one action step you’re willing to commit to you within the next seven days that will feed nurture your essential contribution in this world then yourself and externally with in the world mache beautiful Williston I just want to say Dad don’t be a stranger please please keep me posted and in the anything that’s coming up any new developments that you want to share even if it’s just a little Clipper Sound by three segments you always feel always free to a to send me anything or to Anna to take to come back on the show I think you were definitely in good company with the other folks who have to drive me on this journey if I explain this material and yeah it’s it’s it’s a real joy to to have met and you know I’m just thinking back into the feeling back into the origin story of how you and I connected in the place that I was in in the what would I resonated with you and the sort of healing journey in the wounded healer journey and now and it’s like look at us now you know we have survived and we’re driving and that’s great so I acted with and also the listeners and one thing anyone who’s still listening if you’ve made it this far. I guess you were the ones that were meant to share this because I forgot to say that one of the newer Evolutions in terms of offerings for those that are in sit-in microdosing sacred psychedelics or plants and trees in your backyard and I also please reach out to me because there is a a new wave of a Soma Journey ask I’m going to be available for folks in Indy pinning into the microdosing practice that’s become so popular these days so that’s awesome alright well you’ll either thank you so much again this is a beautiful experience as usual and I look forward to the next time and you have a wonderful talk tonight and wonderful rest of your weekend and we’ll be in touch, and click on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological and play single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or emo band at contrabands. Com Thomas Day

Studying Under the Teachers from the Ethers with Shonagh Home TPP174

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Shonagh Home Pic

In this episode I’m joined again by one of my most respected psychedelic shamanic heroines, Shonagh Home.  She provides updates on her personal and professional journeys since we last talked, we learn about her deep and rich adventurous in modern mushroom priestesshood.

We explore her offering of a Vision Mushroom Practicum audio course and it’s implications for the future of magic mushroom research, clinical healing practices, solo and group rituals/ceremonies, and much more.

We also begin to explore a subject that our next podcast will go into more extensively, which is holistic approaches to healing with foods and dietary paradigm shifts towards more ancient wisdom traditions.

Please visit her website at: https://www.shonaghhome.com

About Shonagh:
Shonagh Home is a shamanic therapist, teacher, writer and poet. Her specialized private sessions and retreats are probing and revelatory, assisting clients to break chronic, self-defeating patterns, and move into empowered personal sovereignty. Shonagh is an international public speaker on the subject of visionary shamanic-spirit medicine, a voice for stewardship of the honeybees, and a teacher on the subject of Traditional Foods. She is author of the books, ‘Ix Chel Wisdom: 7 Teachings from the Mayan Sacred Feminine,’ ‘Love and Spirit Medicine,’ ‘Poetic Whispers from the Green Realms,’ and ‘Honeybee Wisdom: A Modern Melissa Speaks.’

 

Astral Ecology with Tom Denney TPP27

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TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains discussion of sexual abuse and healing.
tom-denney-tpp-272006-strongarmThis is a split release with Tom Denney of Esoteric Origins podcast. Tom’s art reflects a clear lens into astral ecology. We discuss how his art is helping to depict the unseen world so we can better understand the mechanics of shamanic healing. We discuss my shamanic initiation, soul retrieval, and practice of psychedelic goddess worship.
Esoteric Origins Podcast
Tom Denney’s Art

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear Beloved School, Township Punk podcast episode number 27 this is a split release podcast with Tom Denney of esoteric Origins podcast and we talked all about astral ecology hope you enjoyed Namaste alright well this is esoteric Origins and I am Tom Denny and I am accompanied by my wonderful gas today then Axiom then welcome to my podcast thank you very much and I’m to both now there’s a very specific reason why you wanted to come over today and talk to me because you have a very big and important story to tell but let me just my perspective on you as being when I first moved out to LA as we were just discussing it’s been about a decade now I’m about to mm and I met here and we were just figuring out that like in fact it was the Myspace days and it must have been within the first week of me moving here because I had to go to my roommate and use his computer to log on the Myspace and that’s when you messaged me and invited me out to the Troubadour and that was the first time I’ve been to the Troubadour and and got introduced to the LA grindcore Punk scene and from there you are also doing punk rock gardening in Long Beach and you also invited me down there and it was all totally new to me at that time the LA Punk experience is a lot different than Chicago I think it is deeper and more intrinsic and out here on the West Coast I find the punks are a lot more conscientious about recycling planting trees and especially right conscious music and I felt like at the time you were at the Forefront of that because you are actually leading a youth organization in Long Beach that was focused on Recycling and on planting organic foods in on teaching the kids how to garden and I thought that was really awesome so initially even before then that was your in that band they were Native Americans in the songs were about Native rights in such a resistant culture but before that you have gained a level of infamy with Nexium what what’s the history of Axiom because I hadn’t heard from other people that you know it’s weird artistic ramblings of pictures of you all distorted in black and white with with dreads and patches holding dreads where all that came from 14-15 year was that yeah put out a few albums did a bit of touring and headed to a kind of ill fated tragic break up over it’s a long story I’ll spare the details but just some samba Trail happen that was only unforgivable or unexcusable and we had to we had to sweat right and we recorded a full-length album we had to sweet had this put up around that time so we had to read it to we had to let her vocalist go but we recorded it a whole album worth of instruments and it’s finally coming out now so there’s like a fifteen-year-old varied album that we finally got some vocals on it’s about to be released now it seems easier than back then to find this because it’s on YouTube and it’s actually really great crossed music so what was your mindset back then when you were recording and running around and how did you make the journey from that kid to where you are now it was cool cuz a lot of us were heavily involved in local Progressive activist causes and movements and stuff so we’re trying to use it as a tool to raise Consciousness and get punks out the protest involved in DIY projects and stuff so babies in your life so I feel like we were we were running that energy of extreme Utopia and idealism and patching and fire for change and you know as you kind of throw yourself against the system and usually get chewed up and spit out you know after a while and it’s easy for people to burn out and get real nihilistic and just get really over drug downloader you know drinking you know constantly just to numb the pain cuz once you get disillusioned it’s kind of like in The Matrix you know you sometimes you want to go back to ignorance but you can’t hear you sort of twist on so now I feel like I’ve kind of found a more spiritual path of resistance and I feel like there’s more leverage on on the invisible dimensions of reality than there are in the visible Dimensions that are highly controlled by you know different forms of authoritarian systems in agencies and whatnot so I kind of felt after a number of years of fighting on the surface of reality and having a beer a futile because of a mechanical advantage of force on the physical plane that that that the the owners you know the story of the power elite and all of their all of their henchmen you know all of that Empire all the structures of Empire I really impermeable you know toe-to-toe but more malleable astral dimensions of reality there’s a lot more and bigger and more powerful spiritual allies that letter I think starting to come to this planet more and more to help dislodge the disinfection demonic infection that is represented in building empires of male ego that the physical dimension of the people who are in charge of that Empire that you’re talking about the system that it’s in place they’re actually doing rituals themselves and even on the most simplistic like the local law enforcement who are Freemasons where the locals there in the base doing rituals and stumbling entities and looking into the ancient books summoning demons essentially they look up to Solomon and Solomon was renowned for being a necromancer in in in a demon Summoner and that was how the Temple of Israel was supposedly built by enslaved entities on this other leveling and wouldn’t you say that that is the symbol of the pyramid at the eye in the pyramid that there using on everything I personally am try to think like an anthropologist about about all the stuff in the sensitive of them there’s try to keeping an open-ended perspective on things and in so I’m just kind of dancing around committing to be on the same as a fact I try to speak in more inquisitive terms about about these more esoteric subjects you know someone asked me do I what do I think about or do I believe in this or that specific sort of conclusion about about symbols and stuff I’m going to say that as far as I’m concerned if you’re not psychedelic goddess worship and then there’s everything else that isn’t that is mostly Empire because shamanic cultures that honor the Earth and that use Sacramento to be connected to that the consciousness of the planet the feminine life-giving Consciousness the planet whether they ingesting the sacraments or their entering Altered States by some other means they’re essentially protecting and safeguarding their cultures and their there they’re their minds and there he goes from that looming threat of sort of hyper-masculine greedy territorial violent aggressive manipulative Empire Building impulse and so whatever it is if it’s not second of a goddess worship I don’t want anything to do with it that’s interesting as to why you you gravitate towards my art my art that first approached me and in fact one of the pieces that you were talking about was and I didn’t really happen to like that term psychedelic got us to all I knew was that I wanted to draw a very beautiful women surrounded by like centipedes and and fighting off what look like mosquito larvae and stuff like that new is all very I’m not sure where it came from other than to say my own psychedelic like I’ve maybe John deep psychedelics maybe a dozen to 20 times ever but I can’t ever say that like a face-to-face with any of these entities that I’m drawing and I’m not really sure where they’re coming from but you seem to see something totally deeper and I want you to tell me what what it is that you see when we’re talking about this story of your artwork and I feel like what you are transmitting troops from your third eye perspective in natural ability to be an antenna for this some sort of multidimensional perspective on what’s actually happening what was totally invisible to most non artist in non psychedelic explorers are Psychonauts the second is the Psychonauts who maybe don’t have the artistic ability to convey that through drying and then it’s the artist who are the Visionary artists whether whether they’re consuming sacraments or not with the ability to download and and sort of Sharon demonstrate what what the true what I mean I want to use the word Astro ecology and if we if we know as much about Astro Astro ecology as we do about the first lead you know the logical by lighter biological to call on this playing notes of the reality of the Earth then we’re going to make wiser decisions about that you’re helping to bring forth so I just want to thank you for that and I feel like we’re on almost a completely parallel journey of Discovery because every time I have a new psychedelic Revolution I look at your website and you’d like to pick did it already today I was sharing your heart with someone that’s what I just experienced enough and I see for me it’s all just coming from the imagination however a lot of the stuff I do I do really late like right before bed I have an exercise where and when I’m so exhausted I’m ready to hit the pillow I think if I just draw at least two things and then the next morning I’m like these things and it’s a great way to get cool imagery and so for me it’s all just like stuff that’s coming do you know I don’t know where I’m just so I don’t mind it being that kind of Channel the astral realm is that place that you go to when you’re dreaming or is it starting to be okay and okay so I’m trying to articulate what what I believe is a lot of problems with people in their psychosis is actually a parasitic thought beans and I guess a lot of this comes from my research into Hindu philosophy where they talk about these entities that would descend upon people who are sad or depressed and not the whole idea that these entities are feeding off of negative energy and they’re feeding off of sadness the feeding off of anger and they’re feeding off of depression I find completely terrifying more terrifying then inverting a Christian cross as far as like if you want to create some really like cuz I know I grew up on heavy metal and like you know Tron you know what’s even more intense is showing someone that’s actually possessed of these entities who are just an end like any parasite it will feed the I need for that food source and if it’s a spot form and you’re possessed with one of these entities it’s going to feed you negative thoughts that keep you in that state of depression vs. humans have this ability to choose their state of mind and choose how they feel about things and I think a lot of the battle against depression which I feel depression is more of an enemy to modern humans then anyone wants to admit discuss or even approach and I think that a lot of work can be done by purging yourself of these you know and you can call it will it’s just a negative thought for more you could say well it’s in a strobing or you can say you know pull yourself up by your bootstraps and just stop choosing to be sad or stop letting. affect you and once I started messing around with those ideas examples of people who kept coming into my life to show me like Lamas this person if anyone is suffering from this idea it’s clearly this person who like lashes out and will manipulate or you know any of variety of ways in and who idea that there is energy vampirism that that’s exactly what’s happening and you can even feel it when you say on something’s come over me and you just get laid in with this depression that you can even like why am I depressed the sun is out so you know there’s it’s almost intangible and I find myself into battle with that often enough in and so that way I kind of work it out through my artwork and but to hear you validated and say that this is a vision into a real place in and real things that are going on is kind of mind-blowing even from me well you have it depicted on the same vibration of of bringing in the understanding of what’s going on. It’s not a Time it’s not just imagination cartoon mythology you know it’s safe to reality and in my personal experience you know what’s right I’ll try I’ll try to be careful not to make any projections or extrapolate me on my personal experience but it’s me to do the research to try to understand it and to look at different modern scientific and ancient shamanic and esoteric epistemology is really to understand that this is an actual unexplored science is afraid it’s completely afraid of the implications of the can of worms the Pandora’s box of acknowledge say hello world it’s the idea that you can torture animals and have them scream and that be like machines I mean if the death of nature than the removal of spirit from nature is what does Justified the mechanical industrial insulation of all forms of life so to have to be held accountable to St Ann’s on a non-viable level of awareness of this this reality and 54 especially in the way Karma works I mean yeah after I mean the revolution will be a psychedelic Revolution will reveal the reality that what the what do you know the concept of Karma are psyched if you believe that this system is is actually at Play What Goes Around Comes Around you know if she if you if you believe that hopefully you’ll the way you act towards life on Earth and other people on yourself but if you don’t believe that for The Butchers butcher shop they say it’s it gets easier as you go on like the first couple kills might be difficult but eventually you get used to it so you think maybe as someone is doing that do you know torturing animals for the a lot of people benefit from the proteins but the way they do it is actually horrific and the point being that if your continuously doing that do you think it weakens your aura so that entities that feed off of your perversion of this life cycle feed off of that I have observed I’ll try to, and then I’ll see if you want to have a sequential just hang out in staxel events that have given this herd of life change direction in life I’ll say yes absolutely hell growing off of each one of our Energy Systems than you can measure it’s it’s it’s it’s what I am we think of ourselves in the modern scientific medical Anatomy through production in view of the scope of our beings we just be ourselves is like one person walk around if I didn’t if I didn’t you know axe murder somebody today then I’m you know doing all right or whatever but really if you’re sitting all day resenting someone or being jealous of someone or hating someone or stalking someone or whatever you’re doing the waters and you’re going to draw more of the dark entities into your energy field because of what your emanating or what you’re exerting into the invisible space of the astral plane where you can see the Laurel at the lower astral plane why exactly if you do if you’re chronically unconsciously being depressed or being in any way in our thinking harmful or vaping harmful you know there’s a thought do you even and an action in speech you know it’s serious speech and thought and action those of your dimensions of influence of things and energies around you so taking responsibility for those levels and that’s what most of the mystical Traditions are about purifying that so that you can be more of a net producer of positive light energy that’s going to disinfect and create safety and protection around you and your family and your loved ones in the community and you should be practicing law to instead of helping feelings thoughts are are are very important in the waters that were dwelling in that we don’t even realize that we were going through swamps where is like in the real life you know that you shouldn’t go through a swamp because there’s leeches mosquitoes ticks and alligators and for all types of things that you know like to feed off of your your blood and which is Your Life Source but what we would be horrified to take an account is that we’re walking in that daily with unseen elements that are looking to break into our Oreck egg and feed of off of our Essence not just blood related but energy what should Life Source which might even be more important Ray or more expensive than you know if your mind is covered with sores that are infected you know the density of the ecology around what you’re bleeding out and the infection of those psychics or is basically creating a whole you know he’s walking around with like a planet as hell that they are responsible for giving life to its parasitically jacked into and like you said the thought-form entities their jacked into the nervous system and they’re like spammers are hackers and they can give you impulses they can give you 4 version so you can run you and manipulate you and I’ll be the ultimate form of possession is to be completely hollowed out and completely blacked out and to be just a vessel of the the Ellis will that you can imagine and there’s plenty of that stuff opening more rapidly now in the modern society where people are just so completely deformed and fractured that there’s really nothing of of of a of a moral fiber less than amount you say wall that person Solace and you almost say it jokingly like you would have bought a a terrible boss or a teacher or an IRS agent you like, totally soulless so what you’re suggesting is that the human body is just like a computer that can get installed with spyware and and and viruses that are spamming information or allowing outside sources into your home computer which everyone can understand but you’re suggesting that our minds work this way to support their money’s worth honor the directions you call in the ancestors you call in your allies and you create sacred and safe spaces for ritual healing you know that’s really yeah there’s there’s two to turn your back on a spirit world is is really not to your peril mean that’s what the modern world is all. Just ignore the karmic consequences of endless consumption of endless pollution of endless ego gratification and sense gratification that is like out of balance with spiritual practice and charity and giving and generosity the virtues of compassion and when you watch TV it seems like you know the the the people who are making commercials in horror profiting would profit even more from you keeping shut down like that and just vying the next cheeseburger and throwing away your old phone and getting a new one and and staying in this and it seems beneficial to to these hackers you know firewall worms Steven kallman worms in the computer tech world so it seems like we’re walking through this you know where everything is the trying to keep you shut down and and use it as a simple vessel just to shut off your individuality in your creativity what is like you know a lot of what television is is getting you to shut down your imagination and like let me tell you a story don’t think you know MN so many people are obsessed with this while I can’t wait to go home and watch my shows so my programming and so that they don’t have to think and they don’t have to use their own imagination and I think when you are tapping into your imagination which I’ve had the benefit of doing creating a career out of it so that I’m constantly in order to pay my bills I’m dipping into these deep creative Realms which brings me to the same conclusion that you’re talking about it’s all in the movie they lose the sci-fi film from the 80s where they replace those glasses if they use as a metaphor for what I call what I would call like activating the pineal gland you’re able to see is the true degree to which an individual has been invested and whether or not like if you if you consider the analogy of those glasses and they lived to actually be the Psychedelic experience or the use of psilocybin mushrooms for example to activate the third eye that gives you that Periscope you’re physically a periscope into the astral plane and it has been systematically sort of through conditioning through just even the process of being told that your imaginary friends aren’t real or whatever the things that just closed down the exits to the imaginal realm as adults living Mars Society were so big so rigid and so closed off that we don’t use it or you lose it basically use it or lose it so that’s a few tanglez land in the third eye perspective which is you know that every do with the Red Dot on their forehead that’s remember I mean I’m going to be cautious how I speak about a religion that’s not a mistake and what they described as species of demons to fight back and protect you no Humanity in the earth and the beauty of creation you know by the gods and goddesses are airplanes you know they’re observing this sick infection of the planet and the scriptures Psychonauts who word performing you know sexual yoga and an ascending through their nervous systems and through their their chakra systems in working with the Kundalini as it as a medical force it snows it’s no coincidence that the symbol TC on ambulances and rising up real medicine real medicine taking a revolutionary and activist approach to the situation very much like borrowing from the geology of radical leftist critique of industrial capitalism and the spiritual ecology or the Astro ecology where they’re looking at like enter dimensionality in MN under meetings that were kind of demonstrators are depicted as like a similar to these occult Lodge meetings what’s a exploitation of humans and I find priest he couldn’t see the real world but he could see them standing that were talking about now and when did that shift happen and yeah what’s that whole story painful but I spent a lot of time practicing this so I’m going to I’m going to stay where I can speak very clinically about it so you don’t please don’t worry about my you no sense of personal disclosure and I feel like the my allies in the spirit world has have prepared me to to put this stuff on record note 4 for this way really for the first time that we set it up and establish this this discourse very well already so they do this this could now start to make sense to people and I will make this is this is how I arrived there personally and because you’re the artist of my dreams you know who I would want to manifest the ability for you to be able to depict these these pivotal experiences in my life so that other people can avoid the pitfalls you know this is like you know I had to I had to send into the hotel rooms in N Go in shamanic journeys to to pull back in to come back with the understanding so you know it is his fault but it’s not in vain and and I feel like it needs to be told and depicted to prevent future misadventure into the dark Realms you know that’s that’s what that’s what my goal is by sharing this so I’m just going to really not put a lot of analysis into it and not really put a lot of it’s like I’m higher level thinking into it and just try to stick to the facts and the actual depiction of the scenarios as as they happen and then we can you can kind of ask me more more higher-level thought questions about it later so I’m so here’s the first scene let’s say that to pull it together I’m 13 years old I’m a street on living on a skateboard addicted to intravenous methamphetamine and my brothers have peer pressured me to start turning tricks to get drug money for a little Street try and Brotherhood and you know I hit it. I did not know what I was getting into I had no spiritual consciousness or training I was letting you know I had some interest in psychedelic Shamanism and I was actually not wanting to get swallowed into into the hell Realms I was seeking the mushroom there that the acid pod do the Psychedelic shamanism let me say this experience of the spirit world that you would get from Amor Amor maybe not asking but at least a plant-based hallucinogens as what should I take to relieve tension being on the street was too exposed to get away from the last key home look like that I hadn’t to find tribe and I found punk rock and so I found you know family in that where I didn’t have it at home and also started to break down the Illusions and of the American dream and start to develop a radical Consciousness but also had the desire to to explore the spirit world and to find the source and to find the ancestors into feel the Beauty and the and the love that is one of the Allies in the spirit world that will not heal Austin want to give us you know infinite love and power to to heal the planet so that was my intention was to go there but it was derailed and sucked into the Dark Realm of meth prostitution prostitution in San Francisco as a thirteen-year-old because of being screwed into what was the dominant drug on the street you know they are punks they were Agro they were violent you know and and it wasn’t just the booze you know whose it was and it was a real misadventure that I strongly discourage anyone from Filipino from continuing or starting on the path of using those drugs and and here’s why and then this is where we get into like something that would you know pop out of one of your paintings and I don’t think you know this is this is this it it’s it’s painful and grotesque but it is part of what we have to own about what’s happening on the earth and it affects all sex workers and all you know models and anyone who’s being used it a piece of me for sexual gratification by anybody you know if so so here’s the the nuts and bolts my soul was shattered after ordering multiple days and maybe weeks of basically being brainwashed in in and raped by demons you know inside and out to being drugged unconscious and basically made you know into a sort of Satanic ritual abuse object of of extreme these were just John to or picking you up picking up a 13 year old boy in San Francisco Giants and some of them were very like just sort of nerdy guys who probably didn’t get laid in high school and now they’ve sort of falling into a trap of this and this sum you know Darkside activity but they weren’t dark Lords of the Underworld who were the you know manipulating children on the street to be in there Cults and do whatever for them right they were just like normal professional people who had this dark side Shadow nightlife that they would go down in an indulgent but what I’m talking about in this scene let’s say is you know very intentional very highly demonic sort of high-ranking demonic infested possessed men who were like actually intelligently using black magic sorcery to to to rip open you know young and I was a virgin at the time so you know my soul was shattered before I even had made love to a woman when should have been my preference from an astro perspective of being lap for Days Inn in sort of melting in to the other side that these demonic possessed men were actually not just having their way with me you know sexually for their own sort of getting off purposes but they’re possessing demonic entities were actually open the chakras protected web and and their larvae into my energy. And this was the act of infestation you know of my energy system and is almost as a form of like black sex Magik surgery of them Plantation and am I saw translucent spiders come down from the walls and I do know then I was blacked out and I don’t even know you know now really what what else mechanically was actually done but that’s just one situation either had I have been sexually abused and other contexts even earlier in life and and how many of us have had to and so there is a movement around Rites of Passage I sit on the board if you passageways which is a network that focus is squarely on you no Rites of Passage for you coming of age from all different walks and and and modalities you know some of them are our Boys to Men oriented some of them are girls to women some of them are starting to incorporate non gender binary kind of approaches as well which is good and and this whole focus on bringing back the ancestors into looking at Rites of Passage is is starting to happen and something that I focused on and so that’s that’s a resource you know people can go to youth passageways. Oregon and look at what programs are out there and they can also think about how they can add to that list and bring in things that are needed around especially around sexuality and relationship which is often I noticed kind of a big gap in a lot of programs out there you know because they’re confined confined or constrained by the conservative values where they take place and you know what school system is you know this is one of those places lagging for that kind of thing so it’s a role that I think that many people who understand the need can step into and cultivate as career paths you know and some people are pig figuring out how they can weave their credentials says on Sexual Health Educators or sexual therapist or sexual trauma or no trauma-based therapists you know into this realm of initiation and that’s that needs to happen on a on an increased level the other I see a lot of because of what I was saying around looks really don’t how many Avenues to learn other than through you know what the books in the workshops and offerings around sexuality thoughts unfortunately are not rooted in in people’s only need two lineages generally speaking you know so the whole Tantra movement is pretty much so you know a cultural appropriator of New Age fight version of those Traditions that would have been squashed by Christianity especially and so I think there’s work to be done there and as much as possible Retreat retrieving reconstructing are reconnecting with our own ancestral Traditions which I’m sure you know had their own knowledge wisdom around how to how to raise healthy harmonious individuals with healthy sexualities from from the vantage point of how what little I do know has been has been done in indigenous cultures and without wanting to appropriate for them from them I’ll just give way of examples out of that you know in and certain cultures that are studied like the Mayan culture and I think to some degree on certain places within Creek culture there’s examples of how as societies you know that the children are raised from an early age 2 reach a point where they understand how to how to harmonize with the other sex and how to to look after each other and that’s just a very basic principle that I feel like you know that’s that’s worth kind of learning how to integrate into our family structures if we have children that were raising just to keep in mind that you know there is a need for them to learn skills around things like consent and around being responsible with with one’s sexual energies and and I needs to start before they reach that age of adolescence where they’re just harder to connect with if you haven’t built up that Foundation so that’s something that I think about will do you so if I if if we check out that the organization that you mention is it would that be good place to find and something like a more enlightened or more conscious like sexual education curriculum or guidebook do you know if people were working on something like that so if I know if you know parents who were going through the puberty of their child that they have something that’s not just this cold clinical Western and even though that sort of evolving a little bit you know with things like a sack didn’t and whatnot I see a lot but the The ancestral wisdom and you know the ceremonial Rites of Passage you know how does it how does the Modern Family say okay well you’re about to start feeling you know hormonal Energy’s how do we give you know create even if it’s just within their family or their Community yoga or whatever is something more than what’s being offered in the normal sex ed or what they’re listening in gangster rap music and watching on sitcoms obviously you know it’s enough for lack of lot of alternative options it’s one one place to look and we’re always looking for others so whenever we discover something then we will see to auditory resources and we are trying to vet those resources and those organizations to make sure that they really are you know at least there’s some some level of you know safe recommendation that we can give for those those organizations we’re not we’re not in the position to really kind of completely you know set standards but we are trying to we have a code of what we call it a cross-cultural protocol so we do look at that aspect that you have for what we’re talking about that’s you know if that’s another layer that we will hopefully get to eventually and I do know that there are people within our Network who are really strongly focused on this particularly around girls to women kind of education and and Rites of Passage and some of the Boys to Men once but I think it’s also something we need to to enhance as well oh that’s great yeah that’s that’s that’s what I wanted to hear so that I can just refer people to this ongoing and so and then the LSI is kind of its there’s a Facebook I’ve been interacting with the the Facebook group for a while so is that something you recommend people plug-in I mean that’s the goal of that is to feature blogs and generate discussions from those blogs and also to establish a resource of services as well as information and so that’s you know running on in a very limited volunteer capacity and so you know it’s something that I hope will eventually become a very powerful resource but already it’s you know it’s been feedback that I’ve received that you know even just the the group that we have on Facebook somebody posted recently. You know it’s really help them in their in their path which is nice to hear and I’ve heard that a few times and I try to curate that group in such a way where it’s like you know it’s trying to generate discussion and it’s it’s trying to be a safe space where where people can get into some of those I’m intimate revealing is of what what’s going on in their lives one of the things that kind of came out of love sex intelligence local as a connection with Tamara and the love school that they have which is a very congruence philosophy to love sex intelligence and they’re their work to try to create or with to create safe spaces for people to to share stories of what’s going on in their intimate lover sexual lives and and B witnessed in a way that is non-judgemental where they’re not being flooded with advice but more just being witnessed which is kind of connected to that whole framework for Rites of Passage itm witnessing each other and so it’s it’s trying to also look at how you know communities can succeed in their in their goals which might include you know like being more sustainable or being an alternative to the systems around us and also being a part of a more peaceful kind of culture through filling this hole that is often where things go wrong where people are are are not feeling safe to talk about these these human experiences around wounding around are our hearts and our sexuality so I’ve been part of a Practice Group here that has been circulating also to other parts of BC and I think it’s a really it’s a really powerful movement to be a part of yeah we’re getting close to an hour or so I have to take a few more minutes and I’m get a couple thoughts and feelings some responsible for 1 something that his is coming up for me that I think it’s really empowering is this like idea that wouldn’t it be nice if some of us started to think of ourselves as aspiring Elders I’ve never thought of it that way until this conversation and there’s a little spark of joy and me that that says you know puts in context the the punk rock lifestyle that I had of live fast Die Young and just you know if it’s not throwing yourself into the meat grinder of insurrectionary activism you know with this sort of Death Wish you know this martyr complex or whatever it’s like those are really unsustainable archetypes to follow and they leave a lot of people when they get to my age in about 35 like in a sort of existential crisis that will the revolution didn’t happen and I didn’t get killed I didn’t die in the gutter you know I mean what am I going to do now and it’s like well maybe it’s time to become an aspiring Elder and you know clean up your act and and then start to think about how you’re going to make it easier cuz I there’s a lot of things that I had to go through that I would seriously love to have no one else ever have to go through and if you know if we can live in that. you know that is what you’re supposed to think that I think of you say you know you can you can learn from the wisdom of Elders who have gone through and made the mistakes that you’re probably going to go through or you can just be hard-headed and learn all your lessons the hard way but I mean we’ve had to learn a lot of hard lessons in the absence of the eldership but I think if we take on that there’s a yeah me too. It seems obvious but really the way you put it his medicine for me to think you know it’s a dignified path to be an aspiring Elder and then it makes you not be so how do I can help you defeat that that that grinding pressure that oh my I’m going to lose my looks and I’m going to lose my energy and I’m going to be in the state of deprecation towards death and that’s very much the greatest fear of the western manicured Uno photoshopped airbrushed identity like you’re not really giving any hope that aging will be of any benefit in here just marginalized further and further so I thank you for that serve very much still give that time sacred eldership dignity not a light title to hold I think the true Elder wouldn’t really feel comfortable in it cuz it’s defining attributes of an elder that is really one that can help that role be the best it can be is one that is is really accountable is really present isn’t so on the move that if you can’t you know be relied upon to be there for the people that it serves now needs to ideally be in the in the fellowship of other Elders to kind of keep it in in in check in a way like we have to watch for the Cole group kind of phenomenon where people you know place a lot of weight on that person and in a way that can privilege them in certain ways and also lead to potential like power distortions and things like that you know it’s it’s only human that people will make mistakes and so having that kind of accountability of other people and also that time yeah you have people heart or a different there’s always like in every phase of life with the lifecycle there’s there’s like the maturing phases and so there’s like you know there’s a baby elder there’s enough adult Elder and then Senior Elder and so it’s just we have to learn at each stage of Life how to become the mature version of what that stage is and says just something to think about as well and it’s good to to get your feet wet early on in life so that you know we can have deep roots and and the and those are the kinds of people to like in the Tamara situation out of the black community they have a circle of Elders who are basically people who have grown with a community enough that they know the people in their community and then they serve a role as potential kind of like the Matchmaker but you know in a way where people can approach them in and ask them like you know I’m interested in this person and they can help you assess whether this is the right time or what is a good or bad idea and you know they can kind of that. Whole courtship in a way that you know really I think I wish there were more of those people around here don’t you let me relax you know learn the hard way what does that we’re just not compatible certain people in The Matrix the I mean yeah I’m not I’m not a political scientist of the Matrix but I will say that what got me peaked on the ecstatic trance dance group ritual ceremony festival thing was it really when I saw I think it was maybe the second movie or maybe it was the second or the third but there was a scene where they’re just getting down to like Juno Reactor I think was a soundtrack of a butt there is something beautiful about seeing the different the warrior culture Guided by elders and of course there’s different the archetypes playing out in Conflict split that to me was took it further than then the Star Trek Federation is a futuristic Elder guided Council guided kind of reality so that was kind of fun but yeah so that’s what came to mind when you’re at we’re talking about that be so cool if you’re early sexual oracle’s who you go to you know if we’re going to give you insights and maybe even have name your child for you or something cool like that you know be so cool but right on then will I worry about at the hours so do you have any closing touch you want to share or any other resources or should we just I’ll post the the links that you mention and I’ll definitely encourage people to stay informed and keep an eye out for your anything coming up you have any appearances or anything exciting like that coming up you want to mention I think yeah I think I covered a lot of it and I just wanted to maybe plant a seed while I have the airwaves here about something that I’d I’d eventually like to work on presenting which is around insert Intercultural relationships and also decolonizing our relationships as well and just thinking about how how we can heal some of these ancestral traumas and use that has as as a means to strengthen our relationships and also our society right on I’ll be looking forward to everything that you’re you’re expressing in the world and I hopefully yeah maybe sometime in the future we can talk about skill sets for Beyond Christian monogamy that would be a great topic so yeah how would you feel about that maybe we can sometime in the next few months follow up with something like that. Maybe by the by the time I’ll have more of a personal lived experience to a base conversation around that I think you know in terms of people who are already I don’t know how many listeners here are on a Christian spiritual path without that many but if the energy and gnosticism and sacred marriage not going to the alchemical top in the in the Gnostic tradition but I I wouldn’t make any claims to be an expert in that area but it’s definitely something to look at cool alright then we will be in touch and will follow up sometime in the future and thank you so much so be I really enjoyed it and I know it’s taking us a while to get this to get this done but I think it was perfect and I couldn’t ask for anything more so you have a wonderful day. Take care and keep for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and if you want a podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been at Contra Punk. Com Thomas Day

A Natural History of Demons with Laura Marjorie Miller TPP23

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laura-marjorie-miller-picIn this episode I’m discussing a natural history of demons with Laura Marjorie Miller. Together we compare notes on our experiential and theoretical knowledge of demons as misunderstood friends, and misdiagnosed foes. We synthesize ecological and esoteric epistemologies and attempt to lay a foundation for a modern medical and psycho-therapeutic approach to these diverse and elusive creatures.

Laura Marjorie Miller writes about Yoga, magic, myth, fairy tales, travel, photography, marine conservation, and other soulful subjects, She is a regular columnist at www.elephantjournal.com, a contributing editor at www.beyoumediagroup.com, and a public-affairs writer at UMass Amherst. Her writing has been featured in & at such publications and sites as Parabola, Seven Miles of Steel Thistles, Tripping, GotSaga, and MariaShriver.com. She is based in Massachusetts, where she lives with a cat named Huck.

Read the article we discuss “Why Feeding Our Demons Means Loving Ourselves” here: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/06/why-feeding-our-demons-means-loving-ourselves/

Follow her on twitter:
https://twitter.com/bluecowboyyoga

Photo credit:
Corey Lynn Tucker Photography

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin welcome Laura Margie Miller to this concert podcast this is episode number 23 and I discovered an article that you wrote on the air elephant journal and it was how is it why why feeding your demons means letting ourselves is that the right thank you I was very intrigued by that and it maybe want to see if we can talk and first I want to give you the opportunity to introduce yourself a bit and get some background on the different types of writing that you do and then we can talk more about your inspiration for that article and and maybe give us not to 74 s University of Massachusetts is a public relations Rider lot of different spiritual subjects had articles about yoga coming from my yoga background as you know yoga student in a yoga teacher and ask if I can also write about fairy tales mythology and but also travel and then I have another band of being ocean conservation writer so I have a lot of concern with the answers mysticism in nature and also I think ourselves finding finding ourselves in a healthy balance inside of that and no I’m a very eclectic Rider but studying magic and I love nature and I love to read and I love animals and thank you for all you know how do I focus it for for them but I take her concert punk you know it’s a contract like the other Indian philosophy that studies both like more classical yoga studies and then also tantric studies nurseries through and body through Hapa yoga so that awesomely I noticed your references to the buggy to in the article and and I’ve been studying that recently myself and discovering there’s a lot yeah a lot of missing out on for a long time in that in that work so I’ve been I’ve been looking for people to actually help really demystify and apply some of that that was them for people in in modern times who are struggling with different manifestations of everything from I mean to me it seems like every form of neurosis was kind of prophesized about in ancient times as a endpoint of mass demonic infection and then the back with me nor in the the Hindu tradition that was warned that we will be entering this Kali Yuga World age where we’re going to be in some deep spiritual crisis and be in his time of real disconnection from truth and rampant forms of what you know if your lack of a better word are considered forms of thin I guess which seemed to allow for more growth more infestation for these creatures that were actually referred to releasing the translation I’ve heard referred to as as they’re being different species of demons and that really piqued my interest and I think about someone alot of what’s coming out of this new psychedelic shamanic kind of Renaissance where people are going into ceremonies been having these massive sort of shamanic exorcism type healing event square foot face-to-face with what looks like a bunch of repulsive creatures that are somehow nested inside of their either their chakras or they’re sore then it gets most kennamer key is for the Wakefield what are we there’s a medical science has got got some catching up to do to these ancient pre-modern medical disciplines of shamanism and I’m seeing there’s a lot of parallels between these boots are Buddhism the the Tantra the Hindu Contra the Buddhist Tantra and where there is a real seriousness like to be taken about how about the existence phenomenological existence of these creatures not just approximation swear I think in your article you said you know the mythology is a map to the cosmology so do you want to give some article yeah so that it’s feeding feeding your demons means loving yourself I was using demons cuz you know what you think demons to be like part of ourselves that we have demonized so they were not externally Source coming into us you know they were part of that we created you know that we were saying about or parts about ourselves that we’re afraid of the basement or the dungeon and then because we fear them and we see her being what they are or what they represent and so so that is not too much like a different species like those are actually parts of ourselves and so from my article weird away from my article what happened was I was sitting in meditation and I can’t read this book to a friend back and I never got it back but it made a really big and for whatever reason Parts with me that I had felt fear of her felt shamed about and and for whatever reason the forms that they took in my mind we’re from the old advanced Dungeons & Dragons Monster manual which I had when I was like 10 years old and it was to get it and they were very familiar to me and they were like coming up out of like a hole in the ground and this is like a Sunday morning meditation I think it was like a weekend but it was really nice and warm they came up and I saw them like Anna Greenfield I was sitting out like on a picnic table and it came up and I like they’re looking at me in the sort of Starfall way and suddenly I realized that I had come out I was I was well I was sick of fighting my way out of a bad relationship in which the person who I was in a relationship was it has heard intuitive way of locating and me the things that I was afraid of being and he would say to me like he knows he did something that would anger any normal person and I get angry and he’s like you’re an angry person and I would because I was considering myself and I like I was on a spiritual path will nobody wants to stay I’m an angry person no one wants to be jealous person cuz that shows that your week and nobody wants to be an angry person so I would basically putting a tube sock over something it in my mouth is this kind of like angry person you know and then all of my natural things that were parts of me and like cramp in my anger down and taking it away from me so I was basically kind of like neutering myself in a way or decline myself and like but I was like you know the woman you know I don’t want to be too crazy of the woman that I’m not the jealous true I’m not angry like no and I realized it what you know I just tried to put all those parts of me away and so it wouldn’t even have like it because I was so afraid being those things and so what happened was you know that morning I don’t know if I was going to break up. Or it took us you break up but like it was like they just suddenly the team play In My Mind by then it was like felt them and I was like no my God you know know you’re part of me like what you’d like and then like I pictured myself bringing them to my that happened was they they weren’t like external malignant forces they were things within me that could become malignant if you’re not if you don’t acknowledge them you know if you don’t say this is a part of me and if I really do love myself I love all the parts of myself even the parts of myself that are gnarly or that I’m kind of afraid of and I think that that is being ugly and afraid of me I love them afraid of being jealous or whatever you know maybe I’m maybe no one will ever love me maybe I’m like you know awkward that little girl that nobody love and all these versions of myself into myself and I felt so much better and I felt the cement sense of relief and love and I was crying you know because it was for such sense of wholeness and try to make this clear in the article is Shadow or eating your Shadow but if it’s not a license to go run and treat people badly or making your morality your maturity to another level to where you know that you have the capacity for these things that you can make decisions on your behavior based on a whole self and not a split self you’re trying to be like and I think it also gives you a strength not to be manipulated it’s their stuff if you can contrive the dark parts of yourself nobody can ever use those parts of U2 to try to win one over on you I guess it’s like suddenly your whole in yourself and it makes you a lot stronger and it makes you feel better I’m feeling better cuz it’s internally source that was a lot I had to find personal Heather I wanted to have some photographs for it and he was just placed in this spring it took forever and New England pictures and we laughed a lot and it was hilarious because like I don’t know what this is what this says about anything cuz I was like big gaping like love the picture thank you so much for sharing that experience and giving people some inspiration to integrating the language and the visualizations to give people courage cuz it is you have to be brave you know how to turn inward and confront these truths and you also talked about the I haven’t heard the word pronounce e s c h o d how do you could you talk a bit about that and choad I Now pronounce it wrong because I’m sure that they’re like all took that and Buddhist people who are like you know on that he was like all over me but I try to represent it is accurately as I could from my memory of the from the book like the process of star cancer is Graveyard a she sings and then you give them what they need and they become after you do feed them then they become your allies but there’s something that they need from you they need your compassion they need you know they need your validation they need to be seen and at the moment that you’re able to do that it’s probably and showed it’s probably like a ritualised forms of the other salvation ritual container for it but that you you see what’s what they what they need and it’s I think it’s like a deeper and probably that’s why I to contradict a tantric practice because it’s sort of like walking you know with your feet on like both sides of you know so you can stay okay I’m going to go down into these dark areas and of myself or of the universe and and be in that area but not be subsumed you know there’s like a little bit of I think you have to be swamped by in a little bit to release interest rates for u.s. control to is that make sense in this exploration and it’s kind of a I’ve been saying this since I had my first kind of eruption of the experience of seeing that you know that I was in ayahuasca ceremony and was working through some trauma in my private you know domain of healing journeying in a group ceremony and I just kept seeing what look like things that look like mites or or spiders arachnids and ice in hand and I knew folkloric lie that these are sort of analogies that are often use all over the world the offending the things that are full for 1 minute. Forms are living biological and anatomical entities they’re they’re not the interesting that they’re just Shadows or energies is to is is like Stephen Hawking would say or has said that something from another dimension is going to cast Shadow into other dimensions that aren’t the same dimensions so there’s like an imprint or something where you can feel this dark say someone you’re out in public and you have a dog and like some person walks by who maybe it’s really obviously be shoveled and sort of obviously sort of state to be a creepy or maybe they are in a business suit but the dog fences that there is something attached to them or festering within them that is to be on guard against and and so that’s so in this Dimension we might perceive that intuitively in people who are more maybe intuitive we’re going to kind of feel some clenching up there going to respond to it on like a different sort of special or level of sensation and then some Clairvoyance like the ones they were hired in the pranic healing research for that healing modality would say oh yeah it’s in the auric field are these cloudy fields of Gunk that are just soooo pestering in within the chakras that through that enter through wounds and they look like cockroaches and here we’re going to sweep them out and throw him into into a bucket of salt water and problem solved and your limb can now grow back or you can walk again or if or you can have freedom from neurosis and these are like classic biblical types of shamanic healing set I’m just referencing the pranic healing research because it hits hits has been at a real value to me to be able to understand this and what you would probably appreciate and where I wanted to go with you know we having a back to you is is this idea that since you do a lot of work in in nature in your very connected with that with natural just being a picture of a naturalist that seems like if you could imagine my fantasy is that is that people get fed up with the pharmaceutical industrial complex and they start to read articles like yours and they say you know what we need organic some form of organic Psychiatry that’s not so destructive on her you know our organs and that don’t seem to just mask the problems that just work on the sentence we need to get deeper into a root level healing of this stuff and we need like naturalist to help us actually explore these other dimensions of reality and we need so like let’s say that you were given a major Grant from National Geographic to actually make these taxonomy use of these different types of entities that are going to yield results that look like what you’re describing from The Dungeons & Dragons cuz I was like yeah that’s exactly what I see you if you could imagine that there that they don’t ask him to give us like we were going to give you a cover story you got you know you got a whole feature to take this further into lifting vibration that I could very much see whole and identify with so I’m kind of a but that’s just for me just within the last few years so I got a lot of catching up to do to the people who’ve been in that world for much longer and I just want to thank you cuz if you’re you know yeah it sounds like you were part of the lineage that has brought this salvation into my house so I can thank you for that and give you that little bit of back of myself but so moving into the something that you you do some some work if I’m understanding correctly some of your professional livelihood work is is education sexual sexuality education and bringing some of these initiatory technologies that you’ve discovered into that world so could you talk a bit about what you do in that in that says space yeah okay so when we talk about you know professional or I don’t know like you know what we get you know how to identify the work that we do or place its values at what we get paid to do what we do just without being asked to get paid enough so a lot of this work I would say is you know by nature of what it is is in as I was saying before as in the marginalized safe spaces that are created through other things like Gatherings that are already happening you know I don’t have to go through that hole you know system knots wooden props judge some of these things so I think there’s kind of a harkening back to the way it was in that this kind of knowledge was safeguarded after contacts you know like a lot of the indigenous healing Traditions or however we want to call it you know how to be a sort underground and so I I say that’s kind of reflected in how we how I approached this kind of thing even though you know today will will will post the events publicly on Facebook and things like that there is still a ring to it that is about you know not waiting for us to be given our our approval by by Society you know we just know that it’s important so we do this and and so like I’ve been doing this constantly one of my goals that I set out of certain point was that at least you know once a year there would be a community gathering around love sex intelligence and the rest of the time you know we haven’t online for him but very important for that hole project has been and which we’ve stepped it up in the recent months to make sure that hopefully like every month we can do something is to to say that the community around learning about how to how to harmonise our relationships how to defend our sexuality into something that is you know how uplifting our spiritual path is something that needs to be done you know with with with more support and so that’s why it’s it can’t just functioning online capacity so that’s something I’ve committed to we have we’ve been actually our next event is focusing squarely on sexual initiation I’m pink resented by someone named ya Lila Espinoza is looking at how to tweeze mower practices that she learned in Peru you know have informed around healing and and then creating her own initiation but yeah I also you know as an astrologer I work with people and often it is around relating I’ve done a little bit of like you know support for people I think what happens is you know when when you become a central figure in any given Community people will come to you when they’re in crisis and this is what has informed my my the work that I do around you know Rites of Passage is responding to crisis from a place that seeks to get to the root of what is causing the crisis which in so many cases is that there is a lack of of support and people therefore will resort to self initiation just something I’ve had to do in my own life and and see it so much the case for some of the other people and there’s another psychological shifts that occur when people an emotional shift that occur when people feel a sense that they’re being held that they are being that they can fit they can let go and have a safe space to go into those wounds and begin working on them and of course it would help if we had a little more guidance and how to do that but thought comes over over time you know we have to work from where we’re at and so that’s something that I’ve been in in the my own process of of my own work around here figuring what those things are with those tools are and Tom yeah like I said I’m not an expert but I can at least Point people in some directions I guess what we’re looking at here is that there’s an underground space very intentional underground space that is more conducive to kind of freestyling or rolling your own ceremony and just holding the light and and letting those who it call who are called to it you know it would become integrated into keep it at the gala Therrien and flowing so that you don’t have cult of personality and politics and all of the scenester Hipster things coming in and that’s always up in it and he has to be on guard against and whatnot so I see there’s that unfoldment in that development and then there’s people who are also working like stay in the social work field who are informing their peers and colleagues in those sectors with these Neo shamanic techniques or nonviolent communication or your where it’s legal and accessible and permissible you know legally again to be able to put people on amor I guess like prisons prison you Lila has a very and I’ve done some I interviewed her in the past and I’m a big fan of what she’s doing and I know she has a strong background in clinical social work and is feeding back into that sector the wisdom of of the Amazon and and Beyond and so is that something that you have I just thought I remember reading somewhere you know or talk to you at some point about how this is this is like you could be hired by the more formal above ground and sectors of social work or Community work with where you can be brought in to bring some of the stuff that would normally be or I guess it’s just that it’s a very interesting Cutting Edge of an intersection and I if I’m not mistaken that’s that you you are like sort of partially in that world 2 of of social work or is that something I understand correctly yeah I’ll I will string this conversation back and see where where I where I am placed social work as well as all the modalities of counseling and healing you know like they are all part and parcel to supporting and upholding status quo capitalist system so I’m going to like you know like you know also haven’t been in the punk scene also had a big enough impact on my my party now 13 m in terms of healing these wounds we have to look at that and I we can’t we can’t say like that are healing is going to be independent of the world that is reeling and suffering from the continuation of this system as it is and so that’s where for me like bringing capitalism into the equation is is something that’s real tricky it’s something that I feel needs to be kind of understood. You know we we can’t just rely on having sting services that we can pay for because that creates a gap you know where some people are going to have accessible abilities to to the healing and others won’t and that’s that’s not healthy for anyone and and also that it doesn’t address the root cause of why we need social workers to begin with and why we need counseling and all of that so I really like the notion of cultural healing that’s where more where I would be comfortable in any way kind of looking at myself as any kind of healer I don’t think we we can really heal individuals that’s really something that you know a person will need to and it’s not like they can be facilitated to do their own healing work but nobody can fix us we have to fix ourselves that’s that’s more I think a more powerful Paradigm to be apart of but you know I I I have worked in the realm of I focused therapy and you know I have spent quite a bit of time around the spirit plant medicines and seeing how the plant medicines have assisted and I do I do continue continuously work to increase my knowledge and wisdom around working with us plants and and that also brings us back into that hole realm of discussion around you know ancestors and working with them or perhaps that’s something we haven’t really touched upon but maybe she said it’s just that in any form of healing that we do I guess for me the important thing that I really try to bring into whatever I do connecting back with her ancestors and healing the trauma of how we were disconnected from those ancestors and how that plays out in any kind of sexual wounds or emotional wounds that we carry and so that’s something that I I I feel like the role of initiation and ritual can can really do and that’s that’s been its Province ever since people began doing patrols I think it’s to build upon the legacy of their ancestors and to draw and their their help and support cool said that yeah thank you for helping me understand the other parameters a little better and and 100% there with you I have I have been because I live in the United States where there’s different laws around no prostitution in in how that affects the healing with sexual touch and pleasure as medicine and stuff like that is a lot more yes I understand in in Canada there’s there’s a lot more interesting legal space in order to do Hands-On Sexual Healing work relative to the US where it’s completely off limits in so I because of that adapting to that reality and also is a permaculture designer myself I have to think very deeply about how to navigate this issue of for-profit healing work that kind of in most sectors is about like you said I’ll put in my own words it’s like they want to know if if the if you’re at a time of time robot that supposed to be producing a set amount to be a productive member of the of the GDP then then if you’re not functioning properly than the the goal of the mainstream social work or psychotherapeutic or psychiatric Fields they’re trying to get you back into the rat race as soon as possible and they’ll do that with drugs with talk therapy or whatever that is about avoiding through tissue which is the disconnection from urethane from a healthy holistic wild habitat you know a night as a primitivist I see that you know the solution to your Neurosis is to retry belies and Get Growing your own food again in and rebuild that fabric so you know there with you on that tension about right livelihood in and taking money for healing and what is he doing so I really like what you said and that just is going to it’s going to help me a lot looking at healing the cultural level and healing the if I’m understanding right and I’ll put a couple my own words on it but I feel like we’re trying to build the scaffolding or were trying to design the context for people to take the responsibility of a personal healing and gone to that journey and so if you if what would you say are some practical skills are tools from all of your things that you would teaching and training and a things that you discovered in your own journey to where you’re in power tools for empowerment that you suggest or are resources that you suggest people Explorer to if they’re called to do the cultural healing work weather for profit or non-profit. Some dance between the two or it and then what what are some recommendations for people who are on their own path and aren’t necessarily called to do the the cultural healing yeah I mean it’s it’s a pretty vast subject that one but I think that a few points that I could think about and talk about our that I’m going to this idea of bringing you back in the station rights and recognizing that in the absence of them what do we have you know we are we are sadly in there without initiated Elders so many of us and if there are any of Elders that hold that ability to to guide those those ones are those are worth their weight in gold you know there really is people that we should try to lift up and and give them their recognition and see you know and then in the absence of that it’s like we kind of by default Our Generations people that will have to hopefully fulfill that and reach a place where we can actually help upcoming generations to go in a way that they don’t have to completely go it alone and and figure it out on them on their own the way that so many of us have had to and so there is a movement around Rites of Passage I sit on the board if you passageways which is a network that focus is squarely on you no Rites of Passage for you coming of age from all different walks and and and modalities you know some of them are our Boys to Men oriented some of them are girls to women some of them are starting to incorporate non gender binary kind of approaches as well which is good and and this whole focus on bringing back the ancestors into looking at Rites of Passage is is starting to happen and something that I focused on and so that’s that’s a resource you know people can go to youth passageways. Oregon and look at what programs are out there and they can also think about how they can add to that list and bring in things that are needed around especially around sexuality and relationship which is often I noticed kind of a big gap in a lot of programs out there you know because they’re confined confined or constrained by the conservative values where they take place and you know what school system is you know this is one of those places lagging for that kind of thing so it’s a role that I think that many people who understand the need can step into and cultivate as career paths you know and some people are pig figuring out how they can weave their credentials says on Sexual Health Educators or sexual therapist or sexual trauma or no trauma-based therapists you know into this realm of initiation and that’s that needs to happen on a on an increased level the other I see a lot of because of what I was saying around looks really don’t how many Avenues to learn other than through you know what the books in the workshops and offerings around sexuality thoughts unfortunately are not rooted in in people’s only need two lineages generally speaking you know so the whole Tantra movement is pretty much so you know a cultural appropriator of New Age fight version of those Traditions that would have been squashed by Christianity especially and so I think there’s work to be done there and as much as possible Retreat retrieving reconstructing are reconnecting with our own ancestral Traditions which I’m sure you know had their own knowledge wisdom around how to how to raise healthy harmonious individuals with healthy sexualities from from the vantage point of how what little I do know has been has been done in indigenous cultures and without wanting to appropriate for them from them I’ll just give way of examples out of that you know in and certain cultures that are studied like the Mayan culture and I think to some degree on certain places within Creek culture there’s examples of how as societies you know that the children are raised from an early age 2 reach a point where they understand how to how to harmonize with the other sex and how to to look after each other and that’s just a very basic principle that I feel like you know that’s that’s worth kind of learning how to integrate into our family structures if we have children that were raising just to keep in mind that you know there is a need for them to learn skills around things like consent and around being responsible with with one’s sexual energies and and I needs to start before they reach that age of adolescence where they’re just harder to connect with if you haven’t built up that Foundation so that’s something that I think about will do you so if I if if we check out that the organization that you mention is it would that be good place to find and something like a more enlightened or more conscious like sexual education curriculum or guidebook do you know if people were working on something like that so if I know if you know parents who were going through the puberty of their child that they have something that’s not just this cold clinical Western and even though that sort of evolving a little bit you know with things like a sack didn’t and whatnot I see a lot but the The ancestral wisdom and you know the ceremonial Rites of Passage you know how does it how does the Modern Family say okay well you’re about to start feeling you know hormonal Energy’s how do we give you know create even if it’s just within their family or their Community yoga or whatever is something more than what’s being offered in the normal sex ed or what they’re listening in gangster rap music and watching on sitcoms obviously you know it’s enough for lack of lot of alternative options it’s one one place to look and we’re always looking for others so whenever we discover something then we will see to auditory resources and we are trying to vet those resources and those organizations to make sure that they really are you know at least there’s some some level of you know safe recommendation that we can give for those those organizations we’re not we’re not in the position to really kind of completely you know set standards but we are trying to we have a code of what we call it a cross-cultural protocol so we do look at that aspect that you have for what we’re talking about that’s you know if that’s another layer that we will hopefully get to eventually and I do know that there are people within our Network who are really strongly focused on this particularly around girls to women kind of education and and Rites of Passage and some of the Boys to Men once but I think it’s also something we need to to enhance as well oh that’s great yeah that’s that’s that’s what I wanted to hear so that I can just refer people to this ongoing and so and then the LSI is kind of its there’s a Facebook I’ve been interacting with the the Facebook group for a while so is that something you recommend people plug-in I mean that’s the goal of that is to feature blogs and generate discussions from those blogs and also to establish a resource of services as well as information and so that’s you know running on in a very limited volunteer capacity and so you know it’s something that I hope will eventually become a very powerful resource but already it’s you know it’s been feedback that I’ve received that you know even just the the group that we have on Facebook somebody posted recently. You know it’s really help them in their in their path which is nice to hear and I’ve heard that a few times and I try to curate that group in such a way where it’s like you know it’s trying to generate discussion and it’s it’s trying to be a safe space where where people can get into some of those I’m intimate revealing is of what what’s going on in their lives one of the things that kind of came out of love sex intelligence local as a connection with Tamara and the love school that they have which is a very congruence philosophy to love sex intelligence and they’re their work to try to create or with to create safe spaces for people to to share stories of what’s going on in their intimate lover sexual lives and and B witnessed in a way that is non-judgemental where they’re not being flooded with advice but more just being witnessed which is kind of connected to that whole framework for Rites of Passage itm witnessing each other and so it’s it’s trying to also look at how you know communities can succeed in their in their goals which might include you know like being more sustainable or being an alternative to the systems around us and also being a part of a more peaceful kind of culture through filling this hole that is often where things go wrong where people are are are not feeling safe to talk about these these human experiences around wounding around are our hearts and our sexuality so I’ve been part of a Practice Group here that has been circulating also to other parts of BC and I think it’s a really it’s a really powerful movement to be a part of yeah we’re getting close to an hour or so I have to take a few more minutes and I’m get a couple thoughts and feelings some responsible for 1 something that his is coming up for me that I think it’s really empowering is this like idea that wouldn’t it be nice if some of us started to think of ourselves as aspiring Elders I’ve never thought of it that way until this conversation and there’s a little spark of joy and me that that says you know puts in context the the punk rock lifestyle that I had of live fast Die Young and just you know if it’s not throwing yourself into the meat grinder of insurrectionary activism you know with this sort of Death Wish you know this martyr complex or whatever it’s like those are really unsustainable archetypes to follow and they leave a lot of people when they get to my age in about 35 like in a sort of existential crisis that will the revolution didn’t happen and I didn’t get killed I didn’t die in the gutter you know I mean what am I going to do now and it’s like well maybe it’s time to become an aspiring Elder and you know clean up your act and and then start to think about how you’re going to make it easier cuz I there’s a lot of things that I had to go through that I would seriously love to have no one else ever have to go through and if you know if we can live in that. you know that is what you’re supposed to think that I think of you say you know you can you can learn from the wisdom of Elders who have gone through and made the mistakes that you’re probably going to go through or you can just be hard-headed and learn all your lessons the hard way but I mean we’ve had to learn a lot of hard lessons in the absence of the eldership but I think if we take on that there’s a yeah me too. It seems obvious but really the way you put it his medicine for me to think you know it’s a dignified path to be an aspiring Elder and then it makes you not be so how do I can help you defeat that that that grinding pressure that oh my I’m going to lose my looks and I’m going to lose my energy and I’m going to be in the state of deprecation towards death and that’s very much the greatest fear of the western manicured Uno photoshopped airbrushed identity like you’re not really giving any hope that aging will be of any benefit in here just marginalized further and further so I thank you for that serve very much still give that time sacred eldership dignity not a light title to hold I think the true Elder wouldn’t really feel comfortable in it cuz it’s defining attributes of an elder that is really one that can help that role be the best it can be is one that is is really accountable is really present isn’t so on the move that if you can’t you know be relied upon to be there for the people that it serves now needs to ideally be in the in the fellowship of other Elders to kind of keep it in in in check in a way like we have to watch for the Cole group kind of phenomenon where people you know place a lot of weight on that person and in a way that can privilege them in certain ways and also lead to potential like power distortions and things like that you know it’s it’s only human that people will make mistakes and so having that kind of accountability of other people and also that time yeah you have people heart or a different there’s always like in every phase of life with the lifecycle there’s there’s like the maturing phases and so there’s like you know there’s a baby elder there’s enough adult Elder and then Senior Elder and so it’s just we have to learn at each stage of Life how to become the mature version of what that stage is and says just something to think about as well and it’s good to to get your feet wet early on in life so that you know we can have deep roots and and the and those are the kinds of people to like in the Tamara situation out of the black community they have a circle of Elders who are basically people who have grown with a community enough that they know the people in their community and then they serve a role as potential kind of like the Matchmaker but you know in a way where people can approach them in and ask them like you know I’m interested in this person and they can help you assess whether this is the right time or what is a good or bad idea and you know they can kind of that. Whole courtship in a way that you know really I think I wish there were more of those people around here don’t you let me relax you know learn the hard way what does that we’re just not compatible certain people in The Matrix the I mean yeah I’m not I’m not a political scientist of the Matrix but I will say that what got me peaked on the ecstatic trance dance group ritual ceremony festival thing was it really when I saw I think it was maybe the second movie or maybe it was the second or the third but there was a scene where they’re just getting down to like Juno Reactor I think was a soundtrack of a butt there is something beautiful about seeing the different the warrior culture Guided by elders and of course there’s different the archetypes playing out in Conflict split that to me was took it further than then the Star Trek Federation is a futuristic Elder guided Council guided kind of reality so that was kind of fun but yeah so that’s what came to mind when you’re at we’re talking about that be so cool if you’re early sexual oracle’s who you go to you know if we’re going to give you insights and maybe even have name your child for you or something cool like that you know be so cool but right on then will I worry about at the hours so do you have any closing touch you want to share or any other resources or should we just I’ll post the the links that you mention and I’ll definitely encourage people to stay informed and keep an eye out for your anything coming up you have any appearances or anything exciting like that coming up you want to mention I think yeah I think I covered a lot of it and I just wanted to maybe plant a seed while I have the airwaves here about something that I’d I’d eventually like to work on presenting which is around insert Intercultural relationships and also decolonizing our relationships as well and just thinking about how how we can heal some of these ancestral traumas and use that has as as a means to strengthen our relationships and also our society right on I’ll be looking forward to everything that you’re you’re expressing in the world and I hopefully yeah maybe sometime in the future we can talk about skill sets for Beyond Christian monogamy that would be a great topic so yeah how would you feel about that maybe we can sometime in the next few months follow up with something like that. Maybe by the by the time I’ll have more of a personal lived experience to a base conversation around that I think you know in terms of people who are already I don’t know how many listeners here are on a Christian spiritual path without that many but if the energy and gnosticism and sacred marriage not going to the alchemical top in the in the Gnostic tradition but I I wouldn’t make any claims to be an expert in that area but it’s definitely something to look at cool alright then we will be in touch and will follow up sometime in the future and thank you so much so be I really enjoyed it and I know it’s taking us a while to get this to get this done but I think it was perfect and I couldn’t ask for anything more so you have a wonderful day. Take care and keep for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and if you want a podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been at Contra Punk. Com Thomas Day

Designing a Tantric Future with Andrei Knight TPP22

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tpp-dreiIn this episode I’m joined by Andrei Knight for a collaborative free-style sci-fi/fantasy design charrette. Together we visioneer a variety of interwoven pathways to a tantric future that is rooted in permanent transformational festival sites that can flourish and overgrow the status quo.

He’s a meditation instructor, life coach, public speaker, tantrika, and transformational festival producer.

He began meditation training over 18 years ago under martial arts legend Stephen K. Hayes, and was initiated into the Diamond and Lotus tradition of Tendai Mikkyo Buddhism. He has also studied under Dr. Masaaki Hatsumi in Noda City, Japan, as well as the Dalai Lama, for whom he and Hayes serve as protection escorts and security advisers.

Bridging the wisdoms of both the East and the West, Andrei holds a PhD in Metaphysics from The Monastery of the Universal Life Church, and is certified as a Professional Life Coach by Fowler Wainwright International, as well as an NLP Practitioner. In 2010 he was inducted into the order of Hereditary Knights Templars of Britannia.

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design a never more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello to your beloved’s welcome to Township Punk podcast episode number 22 I’m having a discussion with Andre night meditation instructor life coach public speaker tantrica transformational Festival producer and he began meditation training over 18 years ago under martial arts Legend Steven K Hayes he was initiated into the diamond and Lotus tradition of tendai mikula Buddhism he is also studied under dr. masaki hatsumi in notus City Japan as well as the Dalai Lama for whom he and Hayes serve as protection escorts and security advisors Bridging the wisdoms of the East and the West Andre holds a PhD in metaphysics from the monastery of the Universal Life Church he is certified as a professional life coach by Fowler Wainwright International as well as an NLP practitioner in 2010 he was inducted into the order of hereditary Knights Templars of Britannia and filled the speaker to you and do you want to give a bit of background how how did you arrive at this point in your life to where you’re doing all this great work in the world being led my friend to another really not started out Consulting in the financial World coaching Traders I’m one more I realized it wasn’t the tools they were using it but the lifestyles they were leaving and in the process of been transforming my own life restarting various things like martial arts meditation alternative spirituality Tantra and I saw that these people needed coaching and much more than their trading techniques overtime started coaching them more and more about their lives and Lifestyles I got certification as a life coach life coach is an NLP practitioner and boy just more and more got into that side of it and Beyond just leading a normal life with many people Define a successful but adding in the energetic and the esoteric element where a lot of people don’t look and as you well know a lot of problems and successes both can originate someone more started going that route met a fantastic young woman who’s also a meditation coach we kind of traded techniques combined to techniques and that’s helped me know by formed I found a really effective way to work on each other and then eventually started working with it on other people and the festivals kind of grew out of that we started with a simple one day one night events and eventually agree to producing weekend-long 3-day Festival is now because it’s the same kind of idea gets the light out but now two more people at a time awesome and Ira curiosity is that did that evolve into a romantic partnership as well or is that she’s happily in a relationship with her boyfriend got married and no okay well we energetic awesome lot of people are surprised to hear that but yeah potential for that kind of dynamic could go either really well or have life challenges so I was curious if it did if that was the dynamic if you have tips for how to have successful co-creative relationships on that kind of plane but you really got to feel it out and it’s Unique to every circumstance and in our case we were both happy and her present relationships and yeah anything physical could muck things up with you we kind of already got past all that and went straight to the energetic so I really didn’t see much point in Miceli taking a step backwards and don’t feel like we’re missing anything that’s awesome I feel that there’s an interesting concept that I was turned onto not too long ago from a scholar of Dallas sexual Kung Fu and other more of Chinese traditional stuff and introduced me to the concept of what he called spinal puberty where he said that once you really get into these more deeper and take practices will you bring the energy you know how to pass the genitals been working with this creative life worth energy and to the other and higher chakras then everybody gives you more dynamism with all of your relationships you know plants animals family Divinity soil solutely people forget that we have six other chakras to play with and that is no understatement I had some really intense and deep meditations with people but some of some of my favorite are with animals or what’s Plants because they’re in that state already most of the time in a friend of mine said absolutely no say things like get everybody out of there like we went out to dinner once and she is like I’m sorry you know if you think I’m crazy but I like to make love to my food so can everyone put a little bit of intention into their consume me know from all of the pantry classes and workshops have taken in my life by far the sexiest one I’ve ever attended was one called conscious eating oh my goodness look at your food and appreciate it and smell it and hold it in your mouth for a while before you start to chew it and take your time to chew it and it’s so erotic I mean people that rush through their day and kind of scarf their food down I mean they’re still kind of missing out I was missing out for years and has the analogy of junk food sex vs Gourmet Stacks in life how you practice your craft how you do your work you can do it on a very kind of surface superficial get it done get it out of the way level or you can really take time to Lose Yourself and savor every single task friends that is the weaving of the energy to send Pink Floyd prison and even when you’re dealing with some adversity you know they’re so I always have something you know I pop a tire or something or you know even even has been times for my car’s been towed because I thought it was a for no Tollway and it would be ended up being a three or something and that would just stop and breathe even go okay I’m going to look around cuz some gift is in this environment and I’m not going to give up waiting right around the corner if you only take the time to look for it to break down once by the side of the road before the age of cell phones and it was a beautiful night for a walk I found out gas station was only half of my luck sometimes it’s blessings in Disguise and I remember I was going through a tough period in my life and a friend of mine told me and it’s really stuck with me I know it’s hurts but relishing the pain because it highlights the spectrum of what you can feel as a human just like you can take pleasure to its intensity so you know if you’re in an unfortunate situation it’s experience it’s a chance to experience the depths in the range of what it means to be human integrating the light in the Shadow with this world I know Alex Grey I watch this really amazing documentary where he talks about his just a cosmology that he expresses to his art and saying that he sees it it’s it’s it’s definitely a swirl with a great when it comes to the dark in the light so it’s really gets it on the Deep level one of my favorite people I got the photographs and painting on one occasion play music for him while he was painting on one occasion so I got a pretty magical tell me about your music that you Creighton I do mostly I do mostly mixing and producing at this point not too much composing that’s been the area has been focused on just we’re hearing stuff in other people’s music and really bringing it out polishing and making it even better that’s what I’ve really been enjoying and what types of music movie the most I mean I’m generally tend towards electronic music I started out as a rock producer actually every once in awhile we’ll do the occasional Rock Records still but I like electronic everything some things that make you move and dance two things that are really ethereal and take you on a journey also bring it up for me one of the things that we have been chatting about little bit just starting to chat about which made me excited to talk more which is it all kind of introduced the idea and see what you think about it since I’ve been studying Tantra I just I had the blessing of I have my first instructor being a singer and actress and a really powerful and really smooth and eloquent speaker in answer to him see if he would conduct the meditation ceremonies which I’m sure you got to know us as an instructor you have to develop the skills you can’t you got to really be an MC with it to get people to drop in and it’s and also you do they mail piece of you know the Richard bandler kind of found tonality stuff instead of just feel many things that have to hurt when they are really coming together they just you really go there and it’s it’s night and day with people who are kind of awkward with their delivery so I I had experienced you know early on as I got into was getting the Tantra and and and I was I always thought I was getting into more electronic dance music that the Pinnacle of the potential of Contra guided meditation would be for there to be massive sort of Festival scaled crowds dancing that were actually being conducted almost like a symphony where a country would be designing the Shiva Shakti choose choose an energy to resonate with you know all genders welcome to choose for this moment you know for this track or whatever we’re going to get in these formations and actually that’s what I’m not just having a yoga Workshop or two going on in the sidelines but for example the last one we did this spring Cosmic Carnival that’s pretty much what we did, Donna was her headliner who you might know he’s a very very esoteric Leo rented DJ makes a lot of his own music and definitely that element is present in it we actually meditated with him before he went on stage we had five experience meditation structures on stage and that’s exactly what we were doing one mass-energy working over the whole crowd while he’s going to his set well and so were you were you were all in sync sort of on the stage projecting the group field energy field that I’ve heard that’s what we do meditation technique is somewhat grounded in white pants ride comes from that tradition but it’s it’s very much about connection we don’t do have any chance we don’t stare at mandalas we don’t look at a candle flame cuz we found you know if you’re counting your breath you’re counting your breaths do not meditating staring at a candle flame you’re doing all the work not the candle flame it’s possible to get there on your own doing it that way but it takes years and years and years of practice what we do is very different we in this is why I took meeting somebody else to really kick it into high gear we going to the meditative State for the student and then we simply projected out so everybody can focus not on doing some technique but literally I’m sitting back and experience fan that’s the whole idea and when we do it larger scale at a festival we use the music as a carrier weigh so yeah we’re totally in sync with each other that’s what we’ve been training to do for more than a year now we thinking to each other than we just blast it out into the crowd over the music that’s awesome do you have you seen any effects from that people reported or that you observed anything particularly absolutely and the brats and depth of the experience really varies from Individual to individual those who operate cash see what’s and get right away what’s going on and you know they go into it right away and they help the crowd around them go into its others might just feel really good happier than usual you know it really doesn’t matter if they’re into what’s going on or not some can get a really deep profound effect out of it something just leave feeling better than they did before doesn’t really matter if they understand why right you know what this is this is really going in a an interesting in an awesome Direction cuz I feel like I’m I guess I went from a rock background specifically punk rock and heavy metal with your some of the I mean not just heavy metal but Extreme kind of metal and modern extreme metal I guess and and it took meeting a guy who had to turn me on to the 4:30 to trip and show me cymatics videos and unless you got to as a musician you got to take more responsibility for what you’re doing to people with your music Marilyn Manson Nine Inch Nails and then kind of me like why do you feel yourself with such painful negative emotions and then worked so hard to cleanse yourself out of it and when I looked at it that way I was kind of like that kind of music genre of music I want to relax at home that usually doesn’t come up any more you know it was the same with food I grew up eating meat my background is Russian so we need like three times a day and for a long time I’ve wanted to go vegan because of you know how I feel about the treatment of animals and also what I read about the benefits of it healthwise every attempt always fail tell a teacher told me you’re thinking of it in terms of what you’re giving up think in terms of what you’re gaining and that really turned it around for me neuro associative conditioning is Tony Robinson call it right or so she did in the totally are you running from Pain are you running towards pleasure it’s a very very different effect hell yes it’s very much what you’re gaining I remember when I completed my first month I’m like okay I did it I’m going to go celebrate grab a burger from Jack In The Box I feel terrible in my stomach I couldn’t wait for my body process at 6 contrast yeah you know once you don’t do it for political view you don’t do it for some boy or girl you’re trying to impress you do it for you because because of what you’re gaining not because of what you’re giving up write the whole $0.42 for 32 thing absolutely I seen cymatics of both for 32 and a for 4440 is of course how modern musicians tune there a and every other string is usually tuned on a ratio off of that a432 is known as Verdes a and it’s actually how they used to tune their instruments in the old days the Practical upshot actually is very few of us have heard a classical piece of music the way the composer intended it’s because they simply tune their instruments differently back then and the time attic waves there’s there’s a reason these things form these patterns that tend to resemble sacred geometry once you get beneath matter Einsteins the MC squared shows with his energy there’s energy and light was quantum physics it’s trying to solve right now this riddle of how an electron can be in two places at once you know because when you look at the world energetically as opposed to physically based on the Newtonian model it behaves very differently it’s not subject to the same rules all matter originates as energy energy is what holds it together under the surface we now know that only 5% of our universe is actually matter 20% of Dark Matter 75% is this thing we call Dark Energy you know astronomy and physics fully acknowledged it but the moment we have human beings start talking about energy people look at you funny like you’re some new-age hippie but we know it’s 75% of the universe less than 5% of physical matter so how does this stuff get shell together will energy behaves in waves and when waste cross each other to standing points and standing waves that are created and that’s exactly what these geometric patterns Flower of Life and sacred geometry are trying to illustrate Forest highway is intersected behave together and through these crafts cross points create what we experience is physical matter knowing all that wow you have a frequency that’ll take a pile of salt on a dish and form a really beautiful geometric pattern or you have a frequency that totally scatters it it kind of makes you think yeah I know I know I’ve experienced the effect has several websites you can go online where you can hear a piece of music for a few minutes at 4:32 and then suddenly they switch to 4:40 I feel every cell in my body is upsetting my there is definitely a difference and anybody who dismisses it as though it’s just conspiracy theory tried out for yourself experiments that were done on water with the different words and intentions projected into them and how it changed their structure that is a great analogy because you have water that’s taken to the point of freezing and held there so it freezes slowly as it absorbs the vibrations of either the frequency or you know the word experiments are the most fascinating because they show that sought has a vibration to a retention has a vibration to it that can be felt the reason these crystals formed the way they do growing out their little tentacles is here against are responding to the frequencies that already exists the subtle energy that underlies everything they form according to those patterns to those vibrations all right so good-looking that for me I said that when I had this transformation going into more sacred dance music obviously I felt a few things were kind of obvious on the surface for one guy after being a musician who is inducing bloody drunken lazy mosh pits for in almost 20 or 15 years or something like that was my contribution to the world not that there wasn’t beautiful things like people being empowered inspired and and sort of awaken to political Consciousness in and joining movements then different kinds of Eric wasn’t much and I’m proud to have been a part of that but absolutely it’s a good way to get a message across to good way to release frustration as you said it does energize people but there are things if you didn’t have that contrast that you would think they would be left to be desired so I felt like an imbalance you know if after all those years and when I got into psytrance and I started to move me and I started to just surrender to the Shakti in before I even knew I get from a tantric perspective what that means to to to to be a man that becomes graceful because he moved by Angelic goddess possession you know if variable way to put it to the energy it feels amazing and it moves you to be grateful even if you’ve never been trained to dance and it’s just clothes and then you see the different kinds of patter set patterns that emerge on the dance floor where people or completely just so melted into Bliss and there’s no hostility and everyone is sort of I mean homophobia is just totally melted away and everyone should running me over by Care Bears there is just like this beautiful beautiful contrast Jimmy wants to try to get into it and then seeing things happen like people winding up with like snowballs a giant snowball is winding up these massive love energy balls and just throwing them at each other hurling hurling each other and just feeling explosions of a positive energy and I really thinking while I mean I know a lot of people from the darker the more you know how to spell sounding music on Earth it just killed him so to the route they’re raping people and beating each other up and that really sorcerer the quick for me that this is psychotherapy it’s it’s like purging demons it’s incinerating demons it’s doing all of this all these different things and always different levels and and I really feel like the the potential of it is let’s say I guess this is kind of throwing outside experiments in in visions that I’ve had that I’ve just imagine maybe this can kind of kick off for a discussion of how let’s say we had infinite funding and it was in and all of the patriarchal dominator Gatekeepers and holders of of wealth and power we’re just to surrender and say okay we need we need to have a new age of psychedelic goddess worship that’s what’s going to save the world and let Susan find some people who have been working with this and give them the resources to roll this out as a solution to solve The World’s problems get the feminine aspect expressed through all Sexes and genders the feminine aspect guide some political and technological decision-making and let’s clean up some of these messages that have obviously are bringing us to the point of Extinction and how do we ice I guess one of the one of the things that I would launch as an initiative with infinite funding and then I’ll hand it over to you for what it what comes to mind for you and we can you know hospice idea back and forth but I wouldn’t I feel like the most compelling kind of one of the most compelling projects that I’ve had in my mind was to see the potential of taking all of you know the people who are really suffering the masses who are suffering with all of the neuroses the mass Neurosis that’s been induced by all of these toxic inputs into our biological systems and all these toxic and harmful and puts into our mental psychological systems in all this stuff and just began to create massive group exorcisms basically that are happening with trained like you’re projecting the sake of geometrical sound patterns and having the Angelic trained country cos and and healers from different traditions and being able to have these sort of massive immersive experiences where the people who just have not had mystical experiences and it had been sold these horrible products and it just suffered for them to be able to go through the gates into a festival and just be in this massive shock The Vortex where they’re going to get to Stout and transformed and then sort of initiated into and given you no training and tools and all the things I feel like the the transformational festival movement has been like a think tank or laboratory doing the research to retool us as the white blood cells for human going to be able to all we need now really is sentenced to get these Laboratories to just roll out and execute efficiently and not an authoritarian way not in a cultural revolution kind of love are you touched on a key element I just read an interesting quote from Buckminster Fuller he said you don’t get there by trying to fight the existing system you get there by inventing a better system and the rest just takes over on its own there’s a very interesting effect I’ve noticed as a meditation teacher there’s more people than ever interested in the stuff I heard I can feel energy I heard I can see energy show me people from all walks of life not just yoga types there’s definitely been an increase the interest and also as an instructor I’ve noticed we’re shifting people much faster that used to take several classes several sessions the vast majority of people were Shifting the very first session we’re usually doing it within the first 5 10 minutes so not only are more people interested but it’s becoming easier and easier to shift them into that space are you familiar with the Schumann resonance that’s the Earth the natural vibration of the Earth’s electromagnetic field cry right it’s been measured at 7.86 Hertz and it’s been by the way also a sacred geometry number and it’s been at that frequency for at least 300 million years constantly as soon as we’re able testing made-to-measure it’s accelerating the last three years it’s been averaging 8.6 hurts it’s been reported to spike a ties 14 so there’s a very profound thing but that implies that more people that start taking on this work and working to better themselves reach deeper levels of understanding within themselves in the universe around them the Earth is responding and as the Earth response more and more people become interested in it and it becomes easier to make that shift so there is very much and accelerate Tori feedback loop at work that’s been tangibly metric and it’s very very exciting the revolution is happening is happening without anybody having to force it there’s simply a better way that’s been discovered and I would argue rediscovered if if we look at history at over the long-term and not just as far back as Egypt or Mesopotamia I would say rediscovered we rediscovered a better way of being of existing of relating to each other and it’s contagious you know it is spreading the Earth is responding and accelerating that change there’s a documentary being made about this very thing I called the shift you can go on YouTube and see a trailer of it it’s starting to happen yes there’s chaos and turmoil and wars and violence starvation and global warming in the world but there’s another change bubbling under the surface as well you know turbulent times are turbulence because change is happening and the cool thing is the hundredth monkey effect what we’ve observed first in monkeys learning to wash their food and it’s very quickly spreading and becoming a species y practice to the experiments been duplicated in England with birds learning to take the Caps off of milk bottles from the birds far away off the island was starting to do it in there was no communication between the two sets of words the exciting thing about this hundredth monkey effect is you don’t have to change the majority you don’t even have to change clothes to 50% in fact what are observation of other species in nature shows as you have to shift about 1% of the population and then suddenly the change rapidly spreads and become species wife silence so that there is the darkness there’s those that you don’t want it’s listening to 432 and being locked into it all the time I heard in the UK the government will provide you a radio if you can’t afford one that’s how important it is for them or 32 are they they bury it in fiction but it’s there you know there is a message behind every great work of fiction there’s the frequency there’s the corn syrup they put in our food at the fluoride in their water a lot of people are worried about chlorine the good thing about chlorine is let let your water stand for half an hour to an hour at evaporate at room temperature fluoride is actually the more dangerous wanted calcifies pineal gland and a meditation it’s all about the pineal gland of proverbial third eye it’s in the direct Center of your brain know it doesn’t sit on the surface of your skin the way it’s usually drawn in people if you were to take a cross section of the brain front to back and look at it from the side you would see the Eye of Horus the Ancients knew all about this stuff the the Vatican knows about the stuff you would think in their Courtyard there would be a big statue of Jesus or across or something but there’s a Pinecone the pineal gland have a kind of the key to this Awakening and we’re putting fluoride in our water which calcifies it right so let’s let’s get into well if I can ask you let’s say said that you know you had this infinite budget and we’re pretty we’re pretty keen on a lot of what these obstacles are and what the intentions are of what say we can use different words for put the evil eye like I said there’s no reason to feel great hope and just feel that the transformation is happening and it doesn’t have to be at or tearing or violent it can be beautiful and and a design Revolution is kosher folks but he don’t like to say so the pope actually just recently actually met face-to-face with some of the sexual abuse survivors been tried to control them and how good for him and throw it up in the air asking God essentially acting as though he is dumb very puzzled about what’s actually going on which would be obviously kind of a whitewash your PR stunt kind of saying thank you for criticizing and what is he really going to do and it’s much worse it’s has to be much worse than then what’s being admitted to but I thought let’s stay somehow he could be reached because if he’s clips that question out there what’s happening why don’t know I have God’s not telling me okay well I can think of a few goddesses who are Mighty pissed off that I have direct communication with through my journeying who would love to have a group of people sit down with this guy and this is just sort of sort of drinking kind of like a like a comic book or something you know what this come to Jesus effective what it what if the men who are who have been putting all the control an iron grip of domination that’s really resulting in just more Pathways of of the worst types of of abuse to just to just take hold so from of people on this planet it’s if they did have some Forest bring them to their knees to surrender that power to the authority of the Divine mother archetype of a goddess you know what what kind of Justice would would be meted out and if it were to just say okay all the gold in the Vatican its going to the Psychedelic goddess worshippers because that’s where the answer is that they’re looking for so it’s so it’s it’s like you want to know what to do with all that power to figure this out I say give it to the people who are who are working to restore the authentic relationship to the feminine aspects in and let’s build the sacred architecture and the agricultural systems in the music and build build culture from that place of of restoring that energy and not obviously persecuting it denying it and it burning at the stake and and suppressing it restoring it is the key word of it’s It’s Not A New Concept here again if we look before Mesopotamia a lot of these ancient civilizations were made sure I could matriarchs typically based you know Toby actually restoring what Humanity has already experienced stairs are very great documentary you can watch it for free on YouTube called the great year that talks about some of these larger Cycles 13th 2026 thousand year cycles of which 2012 was apart a lot of people think it just flipped like a switch it’s actually a transmission that will take us through 2160 the transition itself takes time 2012 just kind of kicked off the beginning of the transitory state but you look at the cycle and you overlay it over history use you start to also understand the balance between the patriarchal Societies in the feminine base so we’re just completing the loop as as cool as all this stuff we’re discovering about ourselves on an energetic level and quantum physics about the universe around us is we’re just starting to scrape the surface of this is the very beginning to touch on what you talked about the societies of the future the festivals are kind of an experiment at that but in the end you know we’re still find supplies from the outside world we’re still bringing them and we’re still packing our garbage and taking it out ideally you would want a permanent intentional community that grows its own food instead of bringing it in that live this kind of Lifestyle full-time not just a couple of weekends out of the year and I remember reading one study like you would think primitive peoples with having to hunt for their own food or grow their own food build your own shelter farm near crossed that they would have no time at all left to enjoy life but we work a 40-hour work week 8 hours a day 5 days a week that’s study concluded you granted you would work 7 days a week but about two to three hours of your day would be taken up with survival matters leaving the whole rest of the day to explore Consciousness art raising your kids properly instead of popping them down in front of the TV creating things building things discovering things and there’s already models in the world we can point to there’s an intentional community that was started in the 70s in Northern Italy in the mountains about Turin they have now been acknowledged by the UN as a model of sustainable living they were granted Federation Ship by Italy they circulate their own currency now and not only do they live a better healthier life but some of the research that’s been coming out of there is mind-blowing they’ve figured out a way to communicate with plants the electromagnetic waves not only encouraged them them them to grow bigger and stronger and healthier without the use of fertilizers but they’ve gone as far as doing concerts with bushes and trees where they take the electromagnetic field at these plants emanate and a Amplified and translated into an audio signal that we can hear and have it work it’s just playing along with it answers given by plants as they are working on growing meat right now you know maybe you won’t be able to convert the whole world to vegetarianism but maybe you don’t have to maybe there’s a way to grow the meat without the animal that’s much more Humane there’s no consciousness that your extinguishing so it’s it’s really mind-blowing and groundbreaking and they’re called down on her which is the Egyptian word for city of light and they’ve got a website at down on her. Or check it out it’s really inspiring and I’m wondering if there were more budgets if more of these communities sprang up all over the world wow what can we accomplished and there won’t be any need to convert those that hold the keys to power now there won’t be any of them to really punish them they once enough of us do this still have no choice but to go along with it and the worst punishment you can inflict on somebody that’s harm someone emotionally sexually energetically is to open up their capacity to feel because once you realize what you’ve done there is no greater punishment needed going back to the example of when I gave up meat that’s what really sold me the day I got sensitive enough to actually feel the last moments of the cow was the last hamburger I ate I didn’t need anybody lecturing me or listing the pros and cons once you feel it I believe human beings are inherently are good for lack of a better word not evil I view it in terms of not so much good and evil but maintaining the status quo there are those who are in power who fear losing that power they live in a world of scarcity that if they gave up there if somebody else was in power they would have to give up some of their powers they don’t live in a world of abundance where everybody can be empowered so they’re their battle their Quest is to maintain the status quo they’re not necessarily trying to do bad to us they just want things to remain as they are because they like where they’re at Naturally but once there’s a better way that’s clearly better and they see they’re not giving up any of their own power of privilege by letting us coexist it’s it’s kind of going to go from there on it’s own I feel yeah I have a lot of faith in that Tipping Point critical mass Hunters monkey stuff out of food that you picked in the Gardens at morning than you do out of food that’s been sitting in a truck for a week yeah that’s the key that’s the key I think leverage point is to plus I have so much personal faith in Ben permaculture design I feel like it’s the electricity bill in motivation for each person by if it truly is a better way of life it’ll catch on and if it’s not we’ll keep refining it still we’ve come up with something that is so do you you probably I’m I’m really we really don’t have a choice by the way right we’re running out of time civilizations watching from other dimensions are planets which I personally feel like they’re certainly are as they’re probably gambling some of them are just betting on us you know your mining up your own planet and polluting it when you have a helium Rich moon in you know what constant fear of synchronous orbit and Tesla hundred years ago gave you the means to project electricity wirelessly yeah it’s this is the B on the eleventh hour and I hit my I think they’re probably laughing their Glenn cash you guys you’re so close I have this I know I had this I had this Epiphany I I wrote about it and I’m kind of developing it is an idea to just an entertaining thought experiment about how I can imagine a key leverage point which would invert the pathology of arrows the sexual scarcity that’s imposed on people that’s making them become addicted to pornography and and now younger and younger males throughout the world as the Internet connected world or having erectile dysfunction and inability to function emotionally or sexually with with actual human partners because they become so desensitized to sensuality and just completely numbed and actually just deformed in many ways through this massive very recent high speed internet which is relatively recent for and end up extreme just that it’s being one one monstrous disordered disease of what’s happening on the on the planet and I’ve been deeply researching this and trying to find a way out of this disaster in MN try to analyze where it’s coming from and I believe there is a way out of it, it involves us getting past sexuality as this awkward taboo Ray we’ve been culturally conditioned for 5,000 years to think of it either and something for procreation or something really really dirty to not talk about in Barrie under the sheets you kind of touched on it yourself to getting desensitized by porn because they think that’s what sex is pornography and sensuality are actually pull it off if that’s the goal of pornography is to get off this very little sensuality in that right as you know from tantric practice particularly Dallas practice that it’s actually anti getting off you try to prolong it as long as possible literally are Polar Opposites but getting people to the point that they’re comfortable with each other and with themselves and with sexual energy as an energy is it is really where it begins a lot of Contra as you know is it is not even involving sex there’s a lot of gazing there’s a lot of breathing that goes into it and most people the form of meditation we teach is an open eye gazing meditation I can tell you first-hand people feel really really awkward just sitting in front of a person and looking at them it may feel really really weird so is it any Wonder we have all these hang up to when it comes to physically touching a person being also it really could learn to interact together on a different level as a species we kind of have to go back to and start with sex we got to get over these feelings of awkwardness write this it the scarcity in the articles are completely artificially imposed illusion of scarcity about the food supply right that we both know and Buckminster Fuller if you know we can be a human success or we can be a success on this planet and all of the ecological mechanical means technological means or are here it’s the matter of overcoming the opposition will and having a political will to take back the those the power to defeat ourselves and also so I I send that to this problem of how people are denied like you said shamed and while we’re this this sexual shaming culture that’s been imposed all across the world know I see that the the effective it has become quite consciously in it while I was conscious right word but very strategically is a business model get take away their sexual sovereignty and then sell nipples and you know fragmented two-dimensional images of it associated with products and essentially bottle stick human sexual activity even to the point where you’re getting turned on by things that are not even real or things that are actually really harmful and destructive and then people are it’s now stuck and he’s extremely like painful and debilitating addiction Loop and I feel that if you look at its you know that the effective the entertainment industry and I guess where I’m going to where I’m going with this idea of Leverage points for how to roll out a transformation now that I feel like we have we have a more compelling experience for people as cultural read designers you know we have Shakti we have high Neil Novation we have better food better music on the frequency level there’s all these things that I think her are powerful medicines that are bit really do lyrics just really compelling and when we went when we can demonstrate I think through you know through sharing a beauty of these fees for the ancient rediscoveries I guess then the aspiration of young men specifically throughout the world to become essentially rapists and pimps that that’s that’s the most glorious aspiration thanks to the modern pop of the music industry and the images that are being projected and what they think sex actually is which is this completely you know lower chakra reptilian get it over with and conquer the next potential mate so that this final puberty kind of thing of look let’s bring I want to see the that’s why I made that music video that that you seen you know since this is trying to redefine the potential of our potential for people so they associate that the tenderness and the focus in the attention can make spiritual transformation and growth happen and that is more more valuable and rewarding than being cool or tough or having well you can’t then you can’t conduct race that you can only lead them to experience at the end once you experience the alternative set this really no calling back and it’s not just the males that need to be re-educated obviously it’s a huge part of it but the females also they are either ashamed of or freighter feel awkward about their power once once a female really fully experience is what it is to be a goddess is magnificent transformation that takes place but there are a lot of Hang-Ups to work through to get to that point with a lot of people it’s amazing as you do a survey how many women have never experienced an orgasm even more how many women in general are just not interested in sex or view it as something they give to their men as some kind of reward you know the whole idea of Shiva and Shakti and dual circulating energy has just lost upon people really and it’s every bit as much I think a re-education that needs to take place with the wind as with the men make it simple for people when I say things like normal so I think most of the things that are wrong with the world are the result of people not spending hours and hours and hours completely in awe of each other in the bedroom there you go and are you going Waking Life really in love with your garden in love with your children in love with your partner in love with your definition of spirituality begin take this agitated the hyper the hyper masculine female and the hyper masculine male are out there cutting down trees and will they help because they’re not horizontal with take it back if you find me any any any woman that thinks of sex is something they do for their man has never really experienced sex of any man that thinks sex is something they get from their woman has never really fully experience it but once you do once you realize there’s a whole other way to relate to people in to connect with people you’ll you’ll see it not just that you’re a man with the females in your life you’ll find yourself relating differently to the men in your life and the women will relate differently to the women in their lives and it’s a sign of relating differently to plants and animals that will be much more difficult to cut down a tree when you view it as a living Consciousness and not just something that is in your way blocking your view I meant that’s really where it starts the fundamental level just like you know they know about frequencies that’s why 4:40 is so prevalent and not for 4:32 they know the profound effect of it they know the profound effect that a reawaken the age of sexuality would bring that’s why they want us thinking of it only in pornographic or procreational turns the way you bring about that Revolution. Gandhi told us you know be the change is very hard to change individuals it’s even harder to change a society but work on yourself start with yourself try how you relate to your partner or find a partner that you can relate to in that way make your focus studying yourself take up meditation take up a better diet become more conscious of what you put in your body and how you exist what frequency of a vibratory rate you spend the majority of your life in take on that work and you will see you know my relatives see me at Family reunions feel like my goodness Trey you haven’t paid and I’m like would you like to know why her whole lifestyle little pieces on Dell make little improvements and they will inspire their friends and neighbors and if that’s really how these things start be the change focus on what you can change which is yourself in your immediate environment around you your immediate relationship will you have the mainstream which is now projected all over the world. Just say the music industry in Hollywood the image factory of what of what human sexuality what the potential is about I had a very interesting experience about a year-and-a-half ago I got to interview Oliver Stone Son I was also a filmmaker and he told me about the origins of the word Hollywood there’s a certain kind of wood from the holly tree that Druids use to make their wands out of and actually very many spiritual Traditions used to use to carve their sacred relics out of and it is the the wood from the holly tree apparently that name was chosen Hollywood so that people the people in power would remember that their job is not just to entertain or tell stories their job is really to cast and maintain the spell over people we’ve got these two extremes it’s like that the cancerous disease of destructive shallow disconnected sociopathic are the majority right now but their time is numbered that’s what the great year shows us is civilization goes through cycles and chest they are in power now they are the majority but their days are numbered so let’s talk at more about how ice I would say or I want to act as soon as you a question let’s see I know I have you know this. I have much less experience on the ground in the transformational festival seeing in N circuit than you do so I’m curious is is he okay you’ve experienced it send it on a totally different level because you you felt the profound effects of it right we’re still we’re on the same page and I have some there’s things about I guess it’s so complex you can’t really make any generalizations about it looks fake but I’m curious from your perspective it would say let’s say that is a huge influx of of capital came into being able to roll the stuff out because that’s a people are just so fed up and Andrew just willing to have a major change and they’re like bring it on as soon as possible you know we’re ready and do you feel like V this movement worldwide movement and again it’s very diverse but is it ready are there is there enough training within it enough discipline and training within it to be able to mobilize really effectively and actually bring let’s say you know the best time to do something is when you’re not completely ready for it if you have to go through waiting for the perfect moment it’s in a used to keep waiting I wasn’t ready for my first meditation class when my teacher plus me down they just inform me once I will by the way I want you to sit in on tomorrow’s class I was scared I would didn’t know I was ready to go in front of a group of people especially the kind of work we do on an energetic level the best time to do something is when you’re not ready because you will rise and you will grow to the occasion and as far as the influencing the people with money and power it’s happening I read a very interesting article concerning this year’s Burning Man festival the reporter was really down on the fact that it’s becomes a new Silicon Valley hotspot everybody was there through kirberg Sergei from Google the founder of Twitter they were all there and they had kind of their own Elite rich people’s Camp they Park their RVs into and around it so nobody could get in inside they had servants they had celebrity chefs cooking their meals they had air condition and this article was really down on the fact of hey we don’t want these rich, this isn’t the Burning Man experience they’re changing it isn’t the point of Burning Man radical inclusion all the time it’s not just people that are like you and hate isn’t there now about 10 billionaires that experience to our way of life and our going home really thinking about it well yeah yeah yeah it’s so so maybe the idea where one of these guys funds either an ongoing festival or you know closer to home or maybe even one day a permaculture intentional Community along these lines I think as a result of this Burning Man that day just got a lot closer in a lot more possible and I don’t view them coming out and hang out doing their thing as a negative thing at all because they can’t help it they took home a piece of our culture and lifestyle whether they like it or not no matter how much they try to insulate themselves from it right at least people have the money in the power to start influencing people and hey you know what I’m glad it was the founders of Twitter Facebook and Google and not say you know the chairman of BP because these people are that much more open to what we have to offer a lot about the internet being being the feminine aspects coming to life and wiring Consciousness and empathy and compassion together it’s all about in their own activity isn’t it yeah if their hearts are cracked open and they see that future and they realized it be it would say they are total egomaniac send and I’m not I don’t like to judge anybody I think everyone is everyone is either a psychedelic goddess worshiper or they don’t they have lived in your life yet that’s my only judgment from New York lottery tickets they are in their own way and you know while I don’t necessarily condone it there they’re getting a taste of it and they’re going to be touched on some level even if it’s under the surface and subconscious for now they are being exposed to it and that little by little and that Trend can only continue while we’ve been talkin here I just saw the nearly full moon come out from behind the clouds so Gloria site that took my breath away for a moment I mean there’s going to be you know even if it’s a moment to look up at the moon and appreciate where you are in your place in the cosmos people are starting to have more and more of these kinds of experiences where they haven’t connected the dots yet like you and I have maybe but don’t get there right now we’re filling them with ideas and with experiences and with things that are bubbling under the surface and their subconscious and before too long these things will bubble to the surface this brings me back to finish what we started with which is a ritual design this has been happening even though it hasn’t been by conscious design it has been happening I remember 10 years ago when we were looking around for a place to hold a moontribe we talked to a Native American reservation and then like so you want to get a bunch of people together to stomp your feet of Mother Earth yeah we totally get it of course you can use our land we were doing rituals back then or anything sacred right over people that got the deeper meaning of it even if we didn’t and they let us do our thing and be transformed subconsciously by it even though we didn’t know what we were doing on the conscious level and look here we are now now we’re throwing these music events specifically for the purpose of people getting together experiencing a different frequency a different vibration a different way of living of eating of relating to each other even if for a temporary piece of time now it’s intentional now that’s exactly why we’re doing it you know and one one thing that I’ve had asked of me people are like what you’ve had enough have a diverse background you know you make something EDM music and you teach meditation you know that isn’t that kind of a dichotomy of sorts and I keep coming back to Tesla’s flotation if you want to understand the secrets of the universe look at frequency and vibration all frequency whether you look at how matter emerges from energy and is held together whether you look at music whether you look at meditation even an artist painting a canvas color is a frequency starts the colors they choose to use and how they make some together in the end it’s all frequency in all we’re trying to do is raise the vibration through whatever medium is available to us there was a kind of a Heyday of this reclaim the streets this is before occupied way before I can pee but there was kind of a Heyday of politicized ravers I don’t know how much of it was supposed to say psytrance or what I don’t know exactly what they’re what they were jamming but they would do these amazing events in I know in different parts of Europe where they would have these amazing Street parties anxious shut down City centers and have massive portable Raves that they would just throw and talk about vibration and is that any different than what Gandhi did Martin Luther King when people would walk down the street holding hands singing their favorite songs write a dimension that has not yet been may be tested or explored but you’re you’re on The Cutting Edge of this and I’ve got some ideas for what could be you know what potentials are but I’m seeing I guess this is to backup a second I feel I feel that there is a lot of what’s happening is the unconsciousness of people feeling there’s no they don’t have a card opening experiences so how if you can structure put a little bit more structure not you know nothing too heavy but a little bit more design and structure and form with this conscious conscious sort of design design elements so that I mean cuz I’ve had experiences where it was okay there no one who left this ritual can say that there isn’t intelligent life in the universe be on this planet, you can’t say that there isn’t divine feminine energy you can’t say there isn’t Divine masculine energy because we just sculpted a whole massive like Palace of Otherworldly healing nurturing energy that took very good took the form of the and the textures of the emotions that were guided through and it’s just a whole journey we’re your kind of leaving a leaving this some tangible energetic sculpture that is isn’t it it’s more than just sort of seeing people Groove and kind of jump around like popcorn you know just kind of hit me kind of morph into some sacred forms and stuff but for the most part people to music festival artists in their own world and sometimes or kind of Link arms and square dancing dosey doe and stuff around which is beautiful and like I said I’ve seen people just sex throw snowballs of Love energy at each other but I I really want to see the future of you know with this idea that looking at the electrical engineering schematics of the ancient concert pooches and going well will you scale this up and you’re going to have your going to like he’ll the chakras of the planet if you’re going to create these massive and if you were to stay connect on different latitudes or different times and do some of those 6 p.m. it’s like they did with the the global meditation for peace you know what is the earth dance and stuff like that but they have actual Tantra ritual design elements in Mass Massachusetts it’s coming it’s coming if you look at a map of where all these pyramids and sacred sites are located on the earth be at South America Egypt Bosnia now they’ve discovered pyramids that are even older than some of the others they’re not placed randomly their place to bury strategic points around the earth and these are devices for amplifying human energy you know this before it has happened and it will happen again and I believe extraterrestrial entities more so than a possibility I think being alone in the universe is a statistical impossibility and that’s just on this plane once you add all the other planes of existence laugh our own reality the universe is of very very populated place and there’s entities watching us who are just like here again not necessarily evil maybe just Pro status quo you know they’re watching us with fear and trepidation over what we may become and the same time there’s entities that are watching us maybe even helping us were excited about what we are to become because it’s necessary to be evolution of the universe we we play a much greater role in this than we realize and it’s not just us intuitive as individuals that sucks as a species it’s our planet as an instrument that was designed to collect and amplify and send this vibration out right it’s not just change on a planetary scale that we’re at the precipice of this this whole planet has a role to play I Believe In the galactic evolution these are exciting times my friend the reason we chose to reincarnate during this time that’s awesome bro I’m feeling I can feel the energy right now in this last five minutes I’m just standing in a ball of positive check the energy getting thrilled thinking about this do you have sex I’ve ever had my full body energetic orgasmic blast-off Third Eye Activation and and if I want to just hand it to you if there’s anything more that you feel like you want to explore and how do you feel do you think this is I would say if there was a message I wanted to leave people with its don’t be afraid of the unknown I spent the better part of my life having psychic and metaphysical experience isn’t being afraid of them either think of it as thinking of it as something is dark and spooky or being afraid of myself that I’m come freak my goodness inside only started this journey years ago I I Relish in and now my business card says metaphysical professional why why hide it if you have been having strange experiences explore them don’t be afraid of them dive headlong into it don’t be afraid of your sexuality either if your current partner is afraid gently lovingly encourage them and if they still won’t change find somebody who’s willing but explore what you’re capable of as a human being Explorer your Birthright become all that you can be and not just on a physical playing you know Gaius monetary success physical fitness all that stuff’s important but my goodness explore your energy side we when we say energy we save visualized as if it’s something you have to imagine energy is very real very tangible we think of air is nothing that says two people sit in front of each other we assume there’s nothing between us but empty space and yet if air is such a substantial force that it can move a 747 from one side of the world to another energy is just as substantial just as important and it’s time we stopped treating it as something we imagined or visualize and really start exploring it with ourselves with each other and seen what it can do seen what we are capable of as human beings and as a species it’s time to really reclaim our Birthright and all this other stuff we worry about how to change other people how to create this Global shift that will, sweet just start becoming what we were meant to be you know what the destiny thinking about set me free samples by Contra from the outside about it it’s daunting to think how complex the ancient life spiritual life path in life style was compared to what people have time to Connery data books or maybe maybe get initiated by someone from a lineage but maybe not but there are fundamentals for the simplest thing for example and I’m sure you’re thinking about it because it’s just talking about the Federal Energy and Aaron and what time if you think is if when people just do one thing quit and on one another’s heart just about to say that funky sexual position to get to get into sit in front of somebody you really love and respect just look at each other’s eyes really gave deeply into each other’s souls and put your right hand on each other’s hearts and just try that for 10 minutes and see what it feels like that’s as good a place to start as any you will be amazed by what you experienced websites project www.fashionnova.com is our meditation school we lift our classes workshops Retreats and also upcoming festivals there and you can also find us on Facebook if you know if i p h e n o v i d e if you search for that our group will come up and you can plug yourself in and hopefully attend one of our events or study was one of our teachers or here’s an idea get a group of people together and maybe create an event in your city we’d love to come to you so much and will definitely be in touch to your pleasure been putting this magic out there all right you have a wonderful night to you too sir take care thank you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and if you want a podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple that provide ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com Damas de

Punks in Recovery with Craig Lewis TPP10

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tp-craig-lewisCraig Lewis is a Certified Peer Specialist living and working in Massachusetts. He has struggled immensely with mental health issues throughout his life; however he has successfully transformed this into a life of wellness. Craig is successfully working as part of an outreach team in Boston, Massachusetts. He also tours the country, speaking about his lived experience, sharing his struggles and triumphs to help others.

Craig has authored and published the Better Days – A Mental Health Recovery Workbook. Craig based the Better Days workbook on his personal life and recovery, and every page has been used successfully in peer group settings. A Better Days support group facilitation guide is currently being developed as are Spanish and French language versions of the Better Days workbook.

Craig also has edited and published You’re Crazy Volume One which compiles first-hand accounts of people from the punk rock scene who live with mental illness, addiction and trauma. A second volume of You’re Crazy is in the works.

Craig can be contacted at: betterdaysrecovery@gmail.com

Please take a look at Craig’s websites for more information about his books, projects and events.

 HTTP://WWW.BETTERDAYSRECOVERY.COM

HTTP://WWW.PUNKSINRECOVERY.COM

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast episode number 10 I’m having a discussion with Craig Lewis who is very heavily involved in recovery from trauma addiction and other mental illnesses from punk rock perspective and he’s got a lot of great resources that he’s putting out and is really doing a lot of great work in the field so hope you enjoy the conversation and take care of Namaste welcome Craig to The Point podcast and meaning to connect for a while I’m really thrilled about the what you doing evolving in the punk rock movement and and mental health areas and if you want to introduce yourself what you working on your projects and give a little bit of background we’ll go from there my name is Craig Lewis and I live in Salem Massachusetts this is right outside of Boston Adam 41 years old I’ve been in and around the punk scene since 1988 when I was 14 as a young person my life was quite dysfunctional I didn’t really realize that at the time my parents really intent on having whatever issues we had in our family you know identified with me as being the issue on their parents went from Boston to talk to the doctor to try. has somebody agree with that I was I was meant to be unhealthy and ultimately I was put in the hospital and spent you know three plus years and Adolescent group homes in residential homes and hospitals and you know I got out of there really unprepared for the world and I spend time with me until my mid-30s really just very dysfunctional and and I know how unhealthy I was I was I was on vacations for many many years. Causing a reason why I was so sick and NetSpend spent so many years has Peyton laws assures and doing is Ian playing in bands and I was always chronically ill the entire time and not not not do to you my undoing I was I was I medication I now know I never should have been all that actually caused me to be unstable so it was it happened and I got some my mid-thirties and I really hate my life and I I’ve been working on it ever since so ask him and we haven’t played out yet or called rapid cycle and hopefully we’ll be recording and playing with the last couple months all the songs about recovery and wellness and fighting the good fight and I’m trying to be the change in the world that I had to desperately need for myself and that I feel is necessary to make the world a better place especially for my people who are people who really are marginalized to this will have identified personally at the margin life person and people will buy both of the struggles and I really getting a nice Matt so I feel myself very dedicated and committed to doing what I can to make the world a better place in that regard over the years I’ve become Michelle theer I went to school I became a peer counselor of a certified peer specialist which is the actual title that I have and I got a call to the green Human Services and associates degree and I’ve been feeling different jobs and I’ve been the same job now for almost 4 and 1/2 years in a couple months where I am working up here call Claire team helping other people with live experience with benzos drug addiction trauma learn to cope with their struggle so they can have a happier and healthier and more satisfying life and as I continued my attention toward improving the quality of my life and making more healthy and and really more informed choices about what’s right for me in what I need to be near happy healthy and and well and it’s a side of my life I realize that there was really in the punxsy in the country has been going on since I was 14 when I first got involved even dictionary, and really any issue you can imagine it’s really foggy that I was involved in all sorts of conflict and problems and I was really out of control and I realize now that I wish I had some understanding and empathy and where I was guided toward you know getting help that would be effective in and beneficial to me and so I would suffer last and have less conflict and ultimately I didn’t really get that and I was really nervous or to be dysfunctional Duty garage if you know poor living standards living in squalor you know how many years as I’ve been that was almost acceptable yet for me it was just contributing to my my chronic mental health El Hardcore Pawn Canoga Park whatever I don’t really care about the labels very much but it’s a lot of it but still had history and never at maybe I wanted to provide a forum for people to talk about their experiences so that they could really going to be understood be heard yelling and be treated with no epithelium and and patience and really and you know you have so many of us end up kicking around lives and so many of us end up self-medicating or guide used for a very long time and we lose lots of good people to you know suicide in overdose and and Reckless Reckless Reckless living that results in an acid issue that’s not it’s not been addressed and I feel like it must be talked about and I really I just came up with the idea to do the plug and go with a transient idea at first and now it’s a book and now I’m working on the second volume in the car for contributions is out now do I speak around the Country Inn & in Canada and hopefully I’ll be able to travel around the world speaking about my experiences and and if that’s off recovery and dealing with trauma and all of the important stuff to me in and they’ll probably be rain have going on as be better days a mental health recovery workbook which is something that I came up with a Spotify and internship when I went to school for to become a peer counselor and it was basically a support group curriculum that I have people responded to and people benefited from what I was going to bring him to the the group each week and they have really no training and I doing that kind of work I I seem to be a natural and as it as it worked out after usually given a group in different places United jobs in as of altering as an intern to try to put together and took book form so with the help of some. I get the book put into book form and now people are ordering and Beyond in the UK and Ireland in Canada and Australia can I see my life was worth the life of struggling and lack of opportunity that I really just not to come into my anger and I got a question is it it does exist within me and I really committed to doing my part to I don’t let myself up out of poverty in and lack of opportunity in and financial struggle but to also know my people my people are people who have been marginalized in whatever way they treated poems about society and and and denied it a Crime Stoppers in these are just treat dignity respect and I want to help those people make sure they send their struggles are there any cooking skills so that they can look happier healthier and more satisfying lives and it’s my life it’s what I do 24/7 whether I’m at work or not that is how I live my life and I try to have all my interactions you know the it potentially real vehicles for the moment sore I respectfully dignified and communication because I know how personally damaging to be treated like you’re not worth you know if I owe someone else and you’re not you know where the inside of respectful treatment stuff that’s really my life that’s what I do and you know punk rock and metal all of this stuff really comes together it as being the core of who I am and and and what I’m trying to achieve in this world to myself and also my community in the world in general and that’s my Direction that’s my drive and I’m going full steam ahead so I know they have it I left his hat thank you so much! I cry so beautiful and and I can relate to a lot of different aspects it makes me think I mean I went through the cool cycle running away I ran away when I was 12 and then I was in and out of institutions in became a ward of the court and bounced around to different homes in placements and whatnot and for a few years and yeah just long stretches in different places and would generally end up continuing to run away until they got me they got me locked down hard for about a year-and-a-half at one point and and I really got the gas before it LOL several times I was forced on medication and I luckily I was able to convince them that it was not helping me and I didn’t continue to force it down my throat but yeah absolutely being a victim not only has to societal like Mental Health crisis that produces the different types of problems people have but also be true caged in with with with other Pino’s like extremely extremely mentally disordered traumatized other other people other kids you know and then I was actually just I was not clinically myself anything other than just mildly depressed as a result of being stuffy nose like I didn’t I didn’t have any extreme conditions just at the time they they just wants everything everything if you’re a juvenile and you’re running away and you you have drug problems you’re just sort of put into the same funnel institutions as minors with severe behavior problems and stuff so I got to really yeah I have a unique insight into the policy and institutions in and all of the all that sort of stuff and I did a lot of work books and I was put to the 12-step program went to 90 meetings in 90 days in head sponsors in yeah was put through many many hours of of different types of as therapeutic modalities and most of them were pretty most of them has he was very critical is too interesting to be like an anarchists and a punk hypercritical nnn aware and being forced to say you’re never going to see the light of day again unless you completely can form the ultimate Conformity this isn’t just what your parents think you should do if you have parents which I pretty much didn’t miss my father abandon me and has there been in the family when I was three and my mother was pretty much so busy putting food on the table that she was so emotionally unavailable it was rough going through all that in the end going from a totally unstructured environment where there is no Authority and then getting into punk rock and going on the street and finding family and tribe and being really initiated into a tribal subculture and then unfortunately being dominated by severe addiction and violence and alcoholism and stuff like you’re saying it doesn’t it’s riddled with with pathology even though it’s our best hope in a lot of ways though it’s really important to be helping it evolve and grow to be more supportive than have more resources in interesting me it was people like you that had probably the most affect an impact on me when I was going in and out of Institutions that because they’re always seem to be like at least one post-punk angel that would be that would gravitate to they see my boots and my Mohawk and stuff and then they would they would kind of give me the secret knowledge that they said they were punks you know that had gone to school to get a social work degree and so they were working in these institutions to kind of get there a minimum hour requirements for certifications and stuff so they would always smuggle me in Punk record send zeins I say most of my in my most quality education and in in the punk rock movement was the CCM Elders that would that were working in these places that was secretly be able to pay myself have you found other like have you kind of built build some good networking done some good networking with other professional Punk oriented social workers and clinical psychologists in I’m not a social worker or counselor but I have gotten some great networking and I do know a fairly decent amount of social workers and I also know if punk rock to your counselor and also just threw out my travels and you know the website to track a lot of interesting people and the call for contributions for the book them doing brings in a lot of interesting people as well and you know my professional mental health workbook by many people in the severely jitomate you know you got this was one of us and that’s really a lot of people that they needed to show respect of us are considered mentally unhealthy cuz we’re inside sorry. Or because we are unique we have our own style of dress or own way we were here and so many people in the system especially going back to the past several decades now remember 25 raising their face so a lot of people are treated badly because they listen to Scott and they had their own beliefs that said a child that won’t inform them you know just simply telling you this information doesn’t make it true as punk rockers and people with with strongly develops a personal item has a run but how do we get out of society where people could be respected and treated with dignity that many people are just considered mentally unhealthy because they have is s r e l a lot of people do that and you said it talk about the vehicle cheats for their other the color of a year how they know that really pushes people the way so I’m sure if you have an experience that person you know what I’m talking about and medic medic see this is a chronic courses offered at 3 to do this kind of work and dye made from and being accessible on Facebook through anybody who wants to chat or talk if I have time and show me people who want to make the world a better place and you want to get back to have this this like this deeply rooted desire at your house from Concord to they got at the punk rock yes of course cuz I lied to her right difficult and Andy were looking for a place to be who he always loved being judged 11 also really have this desire in this need to help make the world a better price and summer squash down by Society in the system and and that it’s really hard to really good blossom into the person that you suggest Lee want needs to be and it’s not going to come across people like that all the time who really didn’t know that I could get better but you didn’t know that these kind of jobs exist and if you can get trained to do this kind of work is it absolutely amazing relationship and what I’m doing and yeah that that that in some ways that makes you sad that people have struggled so much just like I had struggled so much and I never been offered that information and then once I got even the tiniest bit of information that was possible I took that ball and Iran Iran Iran I’m still running and life getting better certainly You know what last step of this is that odd thing is that I do not get shocked by some of the very troubling things you see when you do some kind of Human Service work so it kind of gives us an advantage and you know be able to connect with people cuz we get the violence and we get the trauma we get to substance abuse and we get the the you know by the police or something it personally are we know of it in the other thing I wanted to say about that is that on McBride catch my train of thought War II was that people from the punk scene you know people who are who are in various police and police about you know turn is Amanda autonomy and mutual support I mean what is more punk rock and what is more alarm at those believe that having a role where you provide Mutual support to others who are struggling and to be able to have that in my professional life where I work as a peer mental health counselor but also have that in my personalized my social life when I meet people when I travel and whoever right she was on the phone and just got over being part of your people who described, and they actually what I’m doing is providing Mutual support for people when does Cabarrus situations where they can be really like I have a very very much in line with my beliefs of you know supporting each other and to Build a Better Community Building others better world so every day and it’s awesome and there’s way more than anyone knows and I want to help create strength in that community so we can all United in and also identifying the people out there who are allies to us whether they have the experience or not or whether they having to go help you know Spirits are trauma or addiction experience you’re not that allies the people who are also working Human Services many of them try to do this work a better place you know for their family member you know they make things better so I can also recognize that allies also that sometimes to a better because we protect ourselves and sometimes it’s because we we blocked at beneficial to us and I want you to just got back shed hear that that some allies or many allies are actually quite that they are allies to us and we can work together to make the world a better place and help each other and I aware of in the news or any you know anything going on so some people are just good people and whether there will come soon and not leave certain political ideologies or not they can be embraced and will want to embrace us and doing the work we’re doing and people here that because so many of us get pushed away and we naturally build up defenses to protect ourselves and it’s important to recognize that we do that could be of help to us and we should try to use our best to intuition I who those people are and see what we can come up with me see what kind of changes or improvements to our lives that we can wait and then approached with making the world a better place in different healthier for all of us right on. Yeah I totally feel that and if I’ve been on a similar path feeling like the nihilism and pessimism that’s sort of built into a lot of I mean if your punk that’s of a persuasion of just total apathy and eyelids and then you know when you come when you get into the the Revolutionary or insurrectionary activist modality of punk and then you get your ass kicked in the streets and you can’t be friends go to jail or you go to jail whatever you just get bludgeon and demoralized and disillusion and you said you had hope and now you’re actually more traumatized kind of like in The Matrix you know if The Cypher you know he wants to take back the disillusionment and just to be blissfully ignorant again and I think that we’re going to probably the punk rock element coming into does the social science in clinical psycho psychologie in of this kind of recovery and stare. Work I think they will end up introducing some sort of clinical terminology for the the condition that is becoming too too aware of the totality of if you when you start to look at the karmic consequences of living on the back being in the first row living on the backs of all of the ecologies and in economies as the other nations you know that are under the bootheel of of the West and all that you’re not just solving your own personal life family Karma and traumas that we’re actually living carrying the weight of the world here if you never if you’ve never cared about any of that stuff in your kind of just more of those completely apathetic Southampton pain it won’t heal still never affect you that that pain in that sense of responsibility and a sense of not being able to be content just fitting into society or just fitting into the sort of fashionable scenes and stuff because you’re like no I need to be resisting the size as my conscience has been awakened to the this expense entire Global disorder there’s so much additional, wounding baggage to inherit that that that disillusionment but then there’s also the gift within that of finding a sustainable way to be resisting and fighting back and you know but doing it figuring out a way to actually actually expresses your gift you know and end in from like a kind of typical spiritual kind of using thing as soon I was fine when you’re in you’re when you’re in the zone like if everyone who is fine is what puts them in the zone that’s a positive constructive creative self Transcendence you know purposeful activity weather is gardening or doing you know writting or writing poetry or doing volunteering or whatever it is if it’s something that’s not just serving your narcissistic ego I was just not going to get you very far but something that is help genuinely giving back in serving and it is something that you enjoy doing that’s where the real internal Pharmacy switches on and you become your own organic psychiatrist that medicine you know know and have a more and have a such a a reason to find those gifts in a reason you know to like we don’t have to pay once you get disillusioned and switch Sean you have to you can’t really sleep at night knowing that you’re part of this giant monstrosity of exploitation you got to figure out how to become more locally and regionally self-sufficient and sustainable and and how to make you said create Mutual Aid System all kinds of overlapping layers of mutual Aid so you can start to have more Independence and autonomy from the systems that are really perpetuating all this stuff so yeah I’m totally hopeful and in excited about about what is going to be like as you know we make the world a better place for everybody and his future Generations role in but also particularly with our own server tribe you know like I can imagine that honey I’ve started want to dedicate my life to making the next generation of people who do get disillusion whether to punk or whatever else give them more constructive and more sustainable ways to express that rage and to resist in ways that don’t you know get them in really trapped the way that I’ve been trapped in and peer pressure to do things that you say you know in certain ways unsustainable El Paso weather most people I believe who are being treated for mental health issues or trauma or addiction a mental health issues or addiction generally has to put a trauma either alongside what’s going on with them or has precipitated it and so when are the judges are made in the documents it written and diagnosis it diagnosis are given the trauma ask that’s what you may be the main source of the dysfunction or perpetuated or or or or Nursery in a negative way that the difficulties we were having or how we coach is often not even addressed during the whole truth, is the major component and often I just had precipitates you know the real the real I just kind of struggles who are basically labels and put in the box and told you this label this word is in this box and I’ll just medication in that this is your life is now it’s going to be and you know no one really care so that was my experience it’s a lot of parents that also wanted to say that I know we talkin about we we certainly have to acknowledge that this parts of the punk scene is people in the punk scene who absolutely have whatever reason I have a very apathetic stance I don’t care about politics are you know making a change in the world and in a way that maybe ice I might see our our our potential to do so however I think it’s also crucial pieces mind but also when we interact with others as far as finding common ground to meet at and not just compared to some people who are already feeling shunned or themselves from others for their own safety and that’s that these individuals to are very apathetic and you’d call him and get gas pump whatever we call them I mean something happened to them experience something like that maybe they were extinguisher made it more complicated for them really I mean we’re all the products of what we’ve experienced so individual for a community really must also be validated for the fact that they’ve experienced something real life most of what we don’t know about we have not had that conversation to add to this weekend we should be more empathetic and understanding understanding find common ground which would then reduce the result of individuals who are anti whatever it is we’re trying to do that you know Progressive so that are the way they are they do things the way that you would just say what they say because of their experiences and I would go very far as to say that in many situations are most people who acts in ways that are disruptive are or are against what is the collective real good reasons for doing that if if I don’t like it leave if you don’t like it or it’s not helpful to society they’ve experienced something in life that is informed them do to protect themselves or that manifest we have to acknowledge that that’s possible or potential explanation and when we do that we let me extend that massive amount of epithelia people instead of judging them in condemning them in and then you don’t know. and have their license because if that’s how it’s going to be and we can make that really at most empathetic wonderful decision to ourselves apart a to not engage that negativity cuz of that sells down and park Beauty must one another must one of us empathetic things we can do it’s not get into it with them and it is somebody is being destructive are there getting drunk out of his colon causing problems that are causing fights or whatever it is we get nothing out of it nothing out of well-being and wellness and Medical Health Center perpetuates already struggling struggling and suffering even if they’re wrong with me even if it’s wrong someone else do they care about that’s contrary to everything I believe in care about whether that means having really politics or whatever it is I understand that people are the products of their experiences and we do the things we do when we adapt and our brains and our minds how to defend ourselves to protect ourselves and I can get that I guess that very deeply as person lie and we will all be much happier if we eliminate some of that unnecessary conflict cuz it gets none of us are getting pissed off and alienated from our communities or from the community which really we all have a much more in common as to how she even with each other then the differences I wanted to make that clear that that’s really where I come from on that comment about you know that is this sustainable living and living a healthier Life by not impacting those who are less LIRR the providers of a lot of our services and and foods and ends in a situation that existed as many people want to be treated right in my my actions don’t always make decisions that are the life of those people who know I cannot directly speed at impact and I want to just put on the record here that I’m aware of that and I want to be better about it recovery of struggle and just keep myself going there today at the massive full-time job as I think you understand as well and maybe the listing will get and I have work to do to make sure that I can have left of an egg impact on those in the world that I can’t see your hair at night I think crucial to be accountable for our word that our actions and that’s something that overtime I hope I can make more adjustments to really be able to be more to adhere more to my beliefs of a really not harming anybody and I’m glad you brought that up because it made me realize that yes I have a lot of work to do as far as living that life that I believe would be beneficial to all of us if we’re able to actually apply it in the garage for our lives to thank you for bringing up that point and I’m grateful that you share that and it was in this conversation describe reconciling differences between the different camps in punk rock if that’s what’s so amazing in in in well stated and even going back to Axiom days and I was just like a teenager if your right eye it was a lot of lot of conflict a lot of some sort of psychic and even physical conflict in show environments and and scenes and stuff we’re more energy was spent fighting each other than fighting assistance in a lot of cases and I I think I honestly secretly was envious of the the Hedonism most of total telepathy and so there is jealousy there and envy you can’t be no be having a good time cuz I’m pissed off cuz I’m studying all this stuff about how the world’s screwed up and I’m going to make you more miserable and not acknowledge your the truth of your life experience and there’s this whole very malignant growth of the people that hyper intellectual elitist view PC vs whatever street punks are cast bunk’d whatever and then and then and then they rebelled against their like hey we got because we were sick of rules and now you’re telling us we have to have all these rules fuck you you know it’s Dynamic Anna and I really obviously I think she has somewhere in the middle is is is the middle the Watercourse Way you know it’s like between the extremes of Pleasure and Pain is you know where we want to have a baseline of homeostasis mentally and yeah I just wanted to throw out the or ask you if you have any thoughts about the pathology like the Psychopathology of of being the feeling like you know a lot of the more conscious or where people using that as a way to put people down and actually yeah add to their wounds not acknowledge where they’re coming from and I mean I don’t want to name name names of particular movements that I think has the issues very kind of full-blown but I think you can imagine how they’re are you know they’re really just morally Superior elitist and that is more division more ego foundries and stuff and not likely not actually changing either really engaged and lots of call clicks then it all back then what was called and that never should have been there really hard dry Community Honda other people I slid in the other than my spells and very very unfortunate and I really was desperate for percept insight as I said I grew up in group homes and I didn’t really have the kind of life that that would have really prepared me for the world appears and you know what I was very much my maturity level was was it over the years and I was traveling I really called by the barriers and tell the conflicts that didn’t need to be there and I suffered a lot and if you looked into it and and you know it to the late 2000s and what I really begin my recovery process and you know I miss you guys but hit rock bottom and it was either liver die and I chose to try one last time to get better and I’ll be starting to get better than me really struggling through it that I laid it happening is an interesting someone I want to share this cuz it won’t hear the last thing about that is that the with you that the people who buy and most in the most contempt from and the most abusive toward me what are the people who are the PC pumps and tanks and the elitist you know ya 2000 error get out new hardcore punk Center that pumps and I mean completely different person will not allow me when I when I when I really I recognize that the PC and all those people were not my friends at all and really did not give a crap about me except I was a good L I was just fodder for the for the internet message boards that the people who really embraced see people the people who are the people who you know you know we’re all grown up punk rockers and and and Let It Go who works in a PC who said things that like you know harmed and Ed Embrace fully and with no issue and many majority actually of the PC and just send me an actively participating and end in not treating me well and increasing with disrespecting a lack of understanding and it’s just that people who are you know very much in the PC crowd anarcho-punk crowd and all of those people that they have reasons why they stick together that way and that’s how they express myself and I think most of those people are very insecure and need to be a part of a pack to be able to feel feel like that’s what I don’t like how I’m treated sometimes and understand that people do what they do that kind of life and I’m not going to condemn them to it looks like good friends are not from the PT anarcho-punk Brad they are people that a lot of people might not necessarily has the best picture say about Grace to me I’ve been supportive and nurturing me it was there for me when the very people who like and I work really take responsibility for me what does beef to make peace and I’m really generally you feel pretty comfortable you know people don’t know who see my issue I don’t I don’t take it personally realize that people do and say what they do because they had experiences or whatever they had going on their life they haven’t spoiled them to act that way and I do my very best that I’m not perfect I make mistakes but I do my very best to embrace that reality that people act in certain ways into things to say things because of their experiences and then I’m not going to feel bad about it and lock it up. I’m going to try out that at the reasons why and I may not have any idea what those reasons are and they have to do with insecurities are or like mob mentality but really doesn’t matter cuz I know I’m better off into it and they want say what they want and you know what else we going to get up and be healthy life and grasses that those people left my life or are they want to embrace me wholeheartedly and it’s very interesting that that this is what I experienced as I continue to experience a punk rocker you can imagine and if you want to talk about giving the and that’s good enough for me and doesn’t matter to me is there a PC pong or chaos pong or a skinhead of whatever variety or whatever because whatever reason walk up to that talk Siri speak about my experiences of what I’ve been through and I like them in my life better that tells me that they get it we have something in common and that even a society as often to devenish answering people for certain things that they say and do I don’t want to do that I want to stay on estate I embrace you because I recognized that whatever it is that would also saying about your battery this is that is that really you just suffered he had a tough life and things weren’t fear and you just do the best you could you survive and treating people badly or say horrible things but I understand all that stuff all over here is all those decisions are directly impacted by Twila Paris and at things that happened that I can’t possibly know about and I’m not going to condemn. Just like I don’t want to be condemned by others as I felt so much in my life being torn down by others and other people so very complicated social life is complicated your boss seems a very specialized Punk scene that is pretty much you have to understand that you can have a cheer like crust punk shows and whatever they called TV now and I will spare part of this crew in this guy’s not so often is so sexualized but I try to get the gauge of anybody who wants to talk and I don’t really care healing moments of the saying yeah I get it you’re fucked up I get it it happened so you want to do what do you want to go from here to honoring appreciating sake so cold so cold more like Street Punk kind of Cloud V I was just checking with anthropologically studying different shows and you know during all over and stuff and there is something sacred about the circle pit and that that that’s Been to Spain by Spinoza different more old-school types of pumpkins where you were there and that’s like a really it’s like a it’s like a putting the the mind on spin cycle in a washing machine is this total punk rock group exorcism I study Tantra and and different Pharmacy you know spiritual Traditions from India and China and stuff and it’s like purification and releasing you know the the energies that are negatives that attach to a sin that act like vampires and want to create more misery and suffering in the world and our happy tooth are you happy to disguise themselves in a variety of different ways people are just accepting and tolerating this extremely toxic amount of negative emotional poisoning that is going on in them in their bloodstreams constantly with all of the Slime Wars on forms and stuff just all of this on cerebro and disconnected from the heart like just noise of conflict that that that just becomes this norm and you go into like an activist meetings or even like a house meeting at a supposedly enlightened you know Community House Savannah kiss or a ton of people and people are just waiting to tear each other apart and just create more more hell and more suffering and and Mori girl in more Agony and around all that stuff and it’s nice since I’ve gotten into more different esoteric Traditions that acknowledge you know that John the human psyche is so sort of inhabited space where the things that are making our lives hell or actually like discrete entities are organisms that are subsisting off of our energy and functioning on a plane of existence that are not visible to our to our normal five senses so with psychedelic Shamanism in different forms of deep meditation and even like with Tantra is it did the use of sexual energy as as a medicine for purification and in as a way to like this loss exercise these energies these entities Better Living inside of our energy Fields this is an interesting Dimension that I’m really getting deep into bringing back I think both of us have spray and stay out of the sort of punk rock ghetto to seek answers and health and healing for Purcells and now we have gifts that were bringing without any agendas or authoritarian elitism with it but it’s hey this work for me check it out less judgment Less elitism in criticism and write this is the scientific directions that I’m trying to take the clinical psychotherapeutic or psychological approach to a lot of healing traditions of the East that are more symbolic and not even just be supposed to say traditional pre-modern shamanic modes of healing where there’s an understanding of the spirit world and that human beings are basically extremely vulnerable and extremely defenseless especially alone if a human being who is estranged from the orb of healing love light energy that is an intact tribe or Village of people living in Us in an intact natural habitat that’s the molecules of human mental health a baseline of mental health and it’s it’s maintained by shamanic practice tennis go to mediation between the negative forces in the spirit world and his desire of human populations to maintain a state of homeostasis where we’re all loving each other from birth to death know everyone has a purpose everyone is is given sexual access and affection this age appropriate and is abundance throughout their life and then the physical materials security and ecological security is there because in our traditional past as hunter-gatherers you know and then and its various forms of Horticultural societies you know there was at intactness and a couple minutes and then you just literally don’t see the some massive pathologies of organized Warfare and violence then suicide and incest and all these horrific pathologies to the shaman it’s the infection of weekend populations and weekend individuals of these demonic entities that are always there and always Genetically speaking cracks and fractures in our population has been in our individual minds and when drama happens cultural trauma or intergenerational trauma of all kinds we basically become so weak and in so susceptible is like we have psychic HIV or psychic immune deficiency and we’re overrun by these demonic entities that it’s just they’re just happy to disguise themselves as as our personality so we identify with them and say yeah I am this label and the the really hyper elitist intellectual cerebro activist movement people and I was one of them I was really like sharp so I could really hurt people with my voice you know I could really make people feel bad about themselves and so I I was addicted to that and I was totally ignorant and in delusion about it because I thought ya and this is how I’m healing the planet and I’m making a little better place mean well I’m basically becoming an instrument of that same negativity going to like you said and you know some of the stuff is like really complex or esoterica you have to I mean I don’t think you need to face to explain the spirit world I think you can you can have a second traditional psychedelic shamanic ceremony of experience and and have a have a complete visual understanding of the impact of of different of these different things that are attached to a string attached to her thinking and basically pushing Us in farming or negative emotions and that’s getting closer through this Renaissance Inn in clinical psychedelic research studies for the restore of the medical youth legal category 4 for II LX has a different kinds we’re getting closer to this sort of new germ Theory which with which wood with when a microscope with able to with able to discover basically and implicate microbes as the source of of infectious disease the Psychedelic perspective is like the microscope for the for the psyche and for the the sort of structure of the invisible structure of the larger human energy field and being able to look into that and study and explore that with this cool as the Psychedelic medicine is giving giving us an understanding now that can be really revolutionize the the mental health industry and be able to say this word for instance when you have that perspective you can actually see that these medications that people being drugged on the pharmaceutical industrial complex is like spelling and pushing people are actually weakening people’s physical and mental immune system so that they become susceptible to even greater degree of infection and that’s where all this really extremely psychotic side effects are coming in and because we still are in a medical cert is impurity that it ignores the spirit world biggest say that all those are just eating disordered neurons that are somehow being bumped into by this chemical but in fact there’s too much more Sinister thing going on and that you wouldn’t the punk rock mix. Silver Lake West Bismark fist anti-religion anti spirituality total denial of the spirit world because we’re so traumatized by religion you know it’s taking me a long time to relieve have to get a new education on like what what mental illness it really actually is in it and how Commons in various cultures traditional look at these issues in and crying your help for them I see now that what I was blind to for many years that I just accepted because it was I was so blind and so diluted like everyone else in the PC World in the activist communities words if you bring a shaman into an activist meetings in and just have that woman or man with a sketch pads close their eyes scan the room with their third eye and make a sketch of what they see well all these people are just fighting over these Petty semantical things just extremely nasty Eagles assert assertion that is not connected to the heart and not acknowledging the the Oneness and this connectedness that a deeper level that everyone really has not really listening to people when they talk and just waiting till like Karen down with that actually appears like from a higher dimensional space with the people who are trained to be able to operate as surgeons like surgical Exorcist in that space with are going to see is that these people have become habitats for extremely nasty creatures that are able to hack into and spam their mind stream like you said and I need that negativity that grows it’s alive and it and it has is a dimension of an organism make a live Anna Sun another another dimensional plane of reality and so if you have zits and we just don’t we because we don’t normally see that we just take it for granted and just let it run everything and that is exactly what its agenda is and I love what you said about how like yeah you when you when you get so brutalized by that experience that you seek the heart and you go and find the people who didn’t have that type really Destino way of being and they are the ones with Open Hearts that are actually creating space or people that sit to accept each other and like not Take On The World and unsustainable Morley ABY this way but just try to be good people and try to do less harm and be present I had the same the same Journey I really appreciate that and I’ll come full circle back to the end yeah and it’s a PC struggling because people just really want to feel strong and secure and empowered and and this country through all that different things that happened with the military being in Syrian control and and media control and absolutely true pharmaceutical companies which you know I’m not I’m not going to I’m not going to sit and some people benefit from their medication and some don’t know I’m very careful to not say you like I’m either a medication because I I do take the summer off and not entirely sure that I needed and stirring trying to taper off and I’ve already had two doing up sometime but I want people to be able to feel I want to hear that it’s okay to take steps to help yourself and you know our society has is very much very pressuring and very forceful and raised. Smells like Menthol and very unforgiving and I want to get people to know that you know when we are faced with the trauma and addiction that we can serve ourselves and support those around us and helping others make the most informed decisions about how to deal with what they’re struggling with and I wanted people to be careful but can getting medication cuz some people may benefit from it and others can disagree or other and that’s fine I respect those people to a lot of people the reason are Jarritos hurt less than that and feel better and be more stable and successful in life in life and it’s really important for me to know what it is and just because I believe one thing about how to deal with things with my life doesn’t mean that’s right for someone else and get the best thing we can do for those people and I spell it does appear as a friend as a community member I thought you would make the most informed decisions about what to do about their struggle what to do about their information possible to decide to make an informed decision on what they want to do and what major should I choose may be different than another that person might choose to take medication and and meditate and exercise and another person might choose to you no good acupuncture and swim 5 miles a day in only eat a certain specific diet and and go to your house with another person like say I want to see a therapist but I want to only see a psychiatrist who is under the age of thirty who’s recently trained at school and University of the newest techniques has been informed about recovery and information possible which will result in a much better prognosis I think I don’t want to say that take religion III come from a fairly impressive religious background night my feelings Jewish and you know I’m always going to recognize that is 70 benefits from being religious spirituality and of course we recognize that our religion can include spirituality and not be religious so I do respect this Puppy Bowl at my work if you believe in God and pray and you know what I validate that and that’s going to help him get through the day even if my opinion of that help or not may be different it’s irrelevant because my job is to be supportive and helpful. I was really like to believe that God was just this thing I was going to help me and gave me a Higher Learning very much the hard way that that wasn’t the case I’m an atheist now or maybe more like a tent again you know I respect that people do what they do for whatever reason and I don’t want to condemn anybody for making a decision this different than what I believe as far as will you take medication or not you believe in God and not for you or you just help yourself or not even say it was that you mentioned a few minutes ago about your Chanley aware that you’re into that could be used to really cost I don’t want the one I used the wrong word but harm to others and I’m well aware that I also have that similar but I know that intellectually I could use my knowledge and and words to just guesstimate somebody because I am as you can probably tell from this interview station skills that I understand this stuff and I have in it select that will that will allow me to really be that way and I have to work very hard when I’m upset at people or angry people to not use that that little part of my brain that to be so Sinister and malicious because that’s not how they had to live my life and I have to be aware that I fixed her and think sometimes there’s a person with trauma in the struggle that I’ve had that it could be easy to let go and just want somebody to what I consider valuable in my life preserve and including must not in anyway you don’t go looking for complex and must not in anyway participate or feed the fire of a college because just because intellectually I could be an ass yeah man oh well yeah I think we definitely has a lot more to cover and will continue you know what other dialogue I’m going for sure and yeah I think I really like the inclusive shirt of the words you’re using I really empowering to to you know open-hearted and inclusive and accepting I want to acknowledge it is as you said very important to accept everyone where they’re at and I like what you said just getting to the Dayman really that that is what we’re all trying to do and and I see it’s the under that they say namaste acknowledging the Divine and everyone you see and and your similar likeness to them and really speaking at Divine and all things and in keeping your mind open to the truth it’s difficult when free sample we’re taking on these things the pharmaceutical. Show complex yet there’s the Paradox that you can’t just take it away in and have nothing there and you can’t make someone feel bad if they don’t have an alternative and maybe you know it’s it’s it’s a transitional saying it’s going to take a long time to take still took ten thousand years to create this absolute planetary disaster it’s not going to be fixed overnight going to take a long time to heal and and I think the the best thing that we with the punk rock ethics can bring to all forms of whether it’s psychiatric or do differences as a therapy and healing and Recovery is bringing the ethic that itch I think your people should professionals who are providing service should make a living and should be and should be to make it an honorable and decent living that Society acknowledge is the value of and help support and and that ultimately with Society valuing the work that you’re doing and the stuff that I do and other people then it can become more accessible and more available and with more severe access and it’s me know if this capitalistic hierarchy of wealth and privilege and access you know everybody is suffering we all need love and so there’s no so there’s no substitute for Love Is No Love in a pill form the love has to be through the relationship with your community and your family and your you know your romantic Partners in a nature and spirit and you know the divine all that stuff and there’s many different from weight Pathways and cultures are actually like bun all these different ways to have a have entitlement to access love and meaning in connection to the things that are going to keep us happy and healthy and yes we can bring more access than more fair opportunity resources It Whatever all this interventions that that are maybe transitional that we’re having to work with you know whether it’s the pharmaceutical medications or like you know for example you’re flying to Peru to go to the Amazon to spend weeks or months then beeps your vacation ceremony with Ayahuasca shamans and stuff like that that even as transitional because that’s not really sustainable or or local for people and it’s very limited access to people with privilege the punk rock’s. Let’s hack this stuff and Liberate the Technologies and make people in power with DIY Solutions you know and and and just make make it so there’s there’s that we provider on alternative options that are more affordable and and more you know have have integrity to whatever we choose minimizing the feeling of spelling out to anything that we don’t feel like we have integrity with everybody’s fighting a battle and we’ll all be a lot happier when we don’t contribute to perpetuate to that person’s battle or the suffering and instead if we can be understanding and empathetic and choose to not further their own suffering at you not bring us something to the effect of suffering you know we have that control and we must make that choice for her to do what’s right and I’m trying to help bring that that that that way of thinking around and make you go to listen because I believe that happiness and satisfaction for everyone in the world I mean I just wanted to ask if I could is there a website for people before we say goodbye today yeah please do and how come people follow up and get ahold of you thank you about one of my books is called better days and mental health recovery workbook which is a pump that you just people coping skills and the other is a book called you’re crazy which has the first volume at 27% accounts of people from the pump being who you are talking with her experiences with mental health drug addiction and Trauma currently have to call the contribution volume to are you crazy I just have to include people first hand accounts being mean and dealing with addiction and Trauma www.com Center calvary.com so www.bunk1.com and other coping skills workbook can be found at BWW bettordays recovery.com but it is recovery.com and there are sample worksheets and. Seuss on that pays you can download and see for yourself in if we might benefit from coming off my benefit from it at least turn them on to it thank you so much for this opportunity that has been great to speak with you definitely look forward to speaking with you again soon in the future and I’ve been my honor and pleasure to speak with you as much love and respect and up the punx else will talk to you next time to the touch of Time Podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and improving the podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Township Park. Com namaste