Tag Archives: g-spot

Yoni Squirting for Sexual-Spiritual Health and Wellness with Grace Diaz TPP237

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Grace Diaz Yoni Squirting Class

In this episode I’m joined again by Grace Diaz to learn all about yoni squirting!

About Grace:

My passion of healing began at the age of ten, when my father, a Reiki Master of 20 years initiated me as a Reiki Master in Medellin, Colombia. For years after arriving back to the United States, I began teaching Usui Reiki all over the east coast.

Reiki lead me to Tantra. I was initiated and certified into Shakti-Pakti-Tantric-Yoga by my mentor Tafari Sudra, in 2011, and it allowed me to heal my 10-year eating disorder through what I believe was a neuroplastic effect.

My organizations, Yoni Grace, LLC and The Vaginal Voice Foundation along with my book, “How to Use the Yoni Egg for Sensual Healing” were created to share the wisdom I experienced with Vaginal Yoga and Yoni Eggs.

In 2011 I began distributing Yoni Eggs to women worldwide while educating them through what I was taught through interviewing over 5,000 women in Yoni Egg focus groups.

I host Vaginal Yoni Egg Yoga events in the Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Miami Beach, New York, Denver, Bogota and Medellin, Colombia and even in Istanbul, Turkey.

I also certify women in Vaginal Yoni Egg Yoga training for their at-home businesses.

My Vaginal Yoni Egg Yoga events are one of a kind and focus on helping women embrace their sensual wisdom for spiritual and physical wellbeing.

Please visit her website at:
https://yonigrace.com/

 

Sexorcism the Tantric Opera Episode 14 “Om My Goddess”

This is a Tantric devotional/instructional love song that teaches the core methodology of honoring each other as God/Goddess and entering into sacred union to achieve a state of divine grace and experience ecstatic altered states of bliss. The lyrics and melody were channeled in a ritual goddess worship session. It felt as if it was dripping into my crown chakra vortex, as if shakti was secreting it like nectar.

I made a demo version of the track with all acoustic instruments, and my dear bro Nuno remixed this version as Ninesense.

Please sing and dance along with your lover:

Om my goddess
Om my god
Om my goddess
Om my god

Om my god/dess
You’re beautiful
I love you
I thank you

Patriarchy has denied
Shamed and brutalized
We must resacrilize
Body temples as divine

Sit on my lap
Legs around your back
Look into my eyes
Breathing synchronized

Cycle up the spine
The energy inside
Open the third eye
DMT will flood your mind

If you want to see the light
You must last all night
Pray between my thighs
Meditate while I’m inside

Sexorcism the Tantric Opera Episode 13 “The Lost Art of Yoni Massage”

This video depicts my personal style of providing yoni puja, or yoni worship including sacred spot (g-spot) massage.

“Women are divinity, women are life, women are truly
jewels.”

-The Yoni Tantra

Proof of Love Ep. 7 Tantric Sex with Ben Tantra Punk Rebroadcast TPP193

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Ben Tantra Punk PicIn this episode I share a rebroadcast of my interview on the Proof of Love podcast, below is the original show notes, please subscribe to Proof of Love!

What can one say about a crypto tantric episode other than wow.  This is our spiciest Proof of Love yet! Ben Tantra Punk joined Stephanie and I to discuss this ancient practice.  In between a few laughs and blushes, we get a great overview of tantric lovemaking, how it’s different from regular lovemaking, the history of why there is tantric sex in the first place, and the joys of the female orgasm.  We went a bit over on time, but I don’t think you will mind with this subject matter! We need more love in our lives, and this episode will show you how to put some of these teachings into practice, even if calling each other goddess in bed is a little uncomfortable.

About the Guests:

Ben Tantra Punk is a sex worker, feminist porn performer, certified permaculture designer, certified tantric counselor, author, film maker, and recording artist. He’s found healing and empowerment through sacred loving arts, ecological gardening, shamanism, ecstatic trance dancing, martial arts, and open source technology. His ongoing independent short film series, Sexorcism the Tantric Opera, was launched in early 2017. It tells his story of recovery from childhood sexual trauma, adolescent sex trafficking, and the path of a wounded healer. His first book, Psychedelic Goddess Worship: Erotic Memoirs from the Astral Battlefield, is planned for release in late 2019.

He loves to help tantric seekers discover the infinite source of divine love from above, the eternal power and wisdom from the Earth below, and the bliss of conscious, healthy, diverse romantic relationships in between. He provides private coaching and counseling sessions online and in-person, and teaches publicly via livestream on the Ethereum powered SpankChain camsite at: https://beta.spankchain.com/TantraPunk His writings, music, podcasts, videos and contact info can be found at https://www.TantraPunk.com.

Do you have a burning question, or a show idea for us?  Please email us at tatiana@proofoflovecast.com!

AI Generated Transcription:
(Want to help with corrections? Please contact me to learn about rewards for your efforts!)

Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast episode number 194 I am being joined by Brian s gross of BSG public relations and he is such a jaw-dropping about page I just decided I really do this but I decided I definitely want to read this to really put the context in here because with with it that the merging of the technology space in the adult industry space and actually to give a little bit of backstory on this we connected now it’s been about 4 years or so since first actually started putting out a press release and seeking really advisement and consult consultation within the the the pr companies within the adult industry to see if there was any possibility to get some traction doing this sort of shamanic pornography and feminist porn kind of brand that I’ve been trying to develop mixing my music and video production and ethics and politics into media and so I have really been kind of putting The Feelers out into the space and Brian gave me some feedback back in the day and we have serendipitously reconnected recently and so I thought why not let’s have a butt supposed to connect in in this podcast domain and again I’m astounded by what he’s accomplished in some of the parallels in our Journeys here so I’m just going to go ahead and read the about page and then we’ll get started with the interview so Jared is BSG public relations takes a precise and strategic approach to promoting all facets of entertainment and efficient and motivated staff handles everything from intricate details of executive with City to positioning our clientele within compelling and effective media campaigns Street marketing teams and Creative Marketing efforts BSG public relations handles all avenues of communication is bringing your study to approach to marketing media and public relations with Creative Solutions that furthers the message & image of our clients we handle everything from the intricate details of executive publicity to positioning clients with compelling media campaigns we look to broaden and brand artist companies and products multi-level publicity campaigns combined with knowledge and background in every facet of entertainment media and communication the most importantly always putting the client first Brian Gross president of BSG PR has been in the service of media and public relations for over 26 years gross has been employed by company said Steve American recordings Warner Brothers records reprise records Elektra Entertainment Group Vivid Entertainment Group and such organizations as the Lollapalooza tour Brian Gross was an executive producer for Rio TX the search for Adam and Eve his background includes all facets of public and media relations working with some of the largest businesses celebrities and music acts in the world Brian thank you so much for joining me on the podcast and please tell us all about your personal Journey how did you get into this position of such influence and expertise school is my senior year and I’m a I’m a big Sports person as well and I was not good enough to make the varsity basketball team but wound up helping out with the younger teams and I want to getting fired for verbally assaulting a referee who completely screwed up a game and all of a sudden I had free time and I literally took out my CD collection which I know that sounds so funny in this day and age but went through it and started calling record labels and pretty much got blown off by many of them because I was a senior in high school they were looking for college kids and one label an independent label def American the girl who answered the phone was in the PR department and she still one of my best friends to the stay cuz she called she I said come in for an interview and before I knew it I was driving after school three days a week from Newbury Park California to Burbank to make press kits and learn all about the music industry well that is exciting so what were some of the what what are some of the bands in an album is like what were you into at the time I was definitely a classic rock kid a NuWave and I just wasn’t you know I was sort of what the radio fed me so you know I hadn’t really branched out as far as my music likings were concerned and you know early 90s you know 90 to 91 92 you realize just how there was no such a divided because you know really popular stuff was extremely poppy you were on the end of sort of the metal era you had this grunge thing happening you had this sort of underground music thing happening you had punk rock obviously happening but I grew up in the suburbs and and it just didn’t resonate with me at the time you know then you go to a record label and you start going through the CDs and you just start this massive Discovery and bands walk in and you meet people and you spend time with artists and musicians and it just completely through open a world that I was you know I was aware but I wasn’t aware to that extent and it was pretty exciting to just see the variety especially at this specific record label the variety of of music that was being put out and and how exciting it was awesome so from there so what how to tell us the story of how you evolved from the doing stuff mostly in the music and more and more General entertainment business into the adult industry which I see you have a lot of accolades from so I I mean I work my way up in the record industry from 93 to 99 I I was took a couple internships than an assistant job than a West Coast tour tour publicist West Coast Regional tour publicist job and then I saw what Napster was doing and I realized you know as a as a low man on the totem pole in the satellite office for record label I better figure something out and literally fell in my lap where two people one of which had this specific that had this position and and the other was the brother of the owner of the company hit me up and said hey you know you should interview for this job that’s going to open up to be the head of PR and marketing for a company called Vivid which I was obviously very familiar with as a young male and so the money was a lot more and the opportunity was there and it was just one of those things I was 23 and I wasn’t going to say no I couldn’t pass it up so I became the head of PR and marketing for Vivid Entertainment in the spring of 99 while you were busy absorbing all of this until from the corporate world and very established Enterprises and then you’re building essentially what will become your your own personal company and brand can you tell us about some of the some of the lessons you learned some of the highlights of of your journey along that way if kind of building your own becoming an entrepreneur as opposed to an employee working for Stephen her she had a very hands-off approach you know he wanted me to practice the way I had learned doing publicity at the record labels and bring that same approach to the adult film stars that were under contract with this company and to the company itself so I really had this sort of open book of you no opportunities and and and really just publicizing a a massive brand his thing was don’t spend any money which you know you laugh at but it was pretty when you when you eliminate budgets and you have to be creative that’s that made you have to work relationships in and put ideas out there and look for opportunities that I think in this day and age we wouldn’t even think twice about it but at the time we’re pretty groundbreaking you know so you know what that in mind it just became abaa I learned so much from that that when I went on my own I took sort of his entrepreneurship of run Dino of starting and running a massive adult entertainment company with what I learned is being a publicist and I’m just sort of found my way I had some incredible mentors the forest publicist go ahead incredible mentors who you know I went to when I started my company said how to what am I doing how do I do this you know and they were so giving and and so just easy you know so open Armon and I’m just taught me so much in a really short. Of time to where I was just off and running and getting clients and doing what I’ve been doing what I could I mean for me getting up every day and doing my job isn’t necessarily hard and I think I’m fortunate that I have that s Ellison and work ethic that I know is very challenging for many people but you know I just learned quickly I could get a lot of clients and and synergize and and do a lot for them and and just sort of Broad and from there awesome yeah I’m having flashbacks to reading a book called guerrilla marketing back when I was doing start up stuff and and it really did get a budget mattered so you had to teach you had to be creative and you had to think out-of-the-box so I can I can resonate with that and I remember one of a CEO for a company I work for has said you know the difference if there’s a difference between marketing and PR and marketing is what you say about yourself in PR is what other people say about you and you really really want to have that that perspective that that’s where the third person perspective in your printing and copying in to have it buffering so that the artists and the company’s don’t aren’t doing all of that he’s some kind of damage control I guess you could say and sometimes they just that stuff that Shameless self-promotion that people people can see through it on the on the receiving end and then on the giving end you’d rather not be tooting your own horn so much so it’s a really vital function that you play in the in the ecosystem of have any kind of business and I love to hear about just soap for people who aren’t that well versed in what a publicist does it would appear our company does tell us about the sort of day today and I’m kind of break it down for people who might not know famous for a living right you know the longer sort of breakdown of that is you know celebrities Brands companies hire a publicist to get there messaging in there and what they have to sell out there to the media which is then you know red watched listen to buy hopefully millions and increases sales increases exposure and increases the the growth of of whatever the brand or the company or the person is so it’s an aspect of marketing but it’s solely deals with sort of the public Persona and then obviously the media which radio TV print and online are the four basics of that and obviously they in this day and age you know what you know podcast would kind of be filed under radio but it’s also online it’s audio but there’s there can be a video component that can be a a written component so you have a lot of Lines Blurred when it comes to the media nowadays and I just think for me it’s important for my clients in this day and age there’s so much opportunity there so many ways to get your message out there and you know me and you know my team and and myself we look to find those opportunities finals relationships and and do everything we can for clients to to accomplish the goals that they have female except for us how’s your job gotten more difficult at all or more challenging in the age of social media where you have the potential for celebrities to put their foot in their mouth to and create these Mega backlashes online that you kind of do have to do some some damage control on that do you have any thoughts what the the social media landscape has done for your industry herself you know social media gives you a way to do a more immediate Outreach but sometimes you have to be careful clients have to be careful what they say out there you know what I work more left-of-center stuff where you know I’m not working conservative projects that you know they have to be really careful what they say but certainly at I work with clients that you know we talked about messaging and we talked about what they put out there and make sure we’re on the right we’re on the right track and we’re in agreement and on the right path but I think social media you know I think it’s it’s positive it’s certainly a life-changing things it certainly has changed the landscape of society and and whatnot on a larger scale but you’re not the end of the day we all are just fascinated by other people and they do so it just open doors opens doors in that respect what do you know actually makes me think about how it made some sense you talking about Dimension to have the image of Tower Records on Sunset and I’m just the decline of the record industry and all of the digitization of all kinds of media and how that took a big chunk out of profits for a lot of folks in an industry but when I based on what you were just say no actually realized you might think that the same thing would happen to PR once people could become demigod celebrities on social media by themselves but the reality is they probably need to hire a publicist more than ever because you need that filter right you need that you need someone to advise you on on the strategies of how you express yourself because it’s so easy to just fire something off that just Neo take sweat they say it could take 5 years to build a career in 5 seconds to destroy rights and all I would add to it is you know you need you need someone in my position when you have something that is so public and you need someone that can help you because a lot of times there is a lot of Crisis and a lot of people don’t know what to do and we’ve certainly witnessed over the years when when things go wrong or how you know when things are handled poorly and you know we live at a time where the media is constantly attacked so they’re going to attack that so you want to be on the right side of things and you want you know if you want to handle your media aspect as professionals possible and it’s there are challenges you know I’m not a brain surgeon this isn’t brain surgery by any any respect but it’s an important part of the marketing and sales aspect and the overall brand awareness of who you are and what you’re trying to accomplish yeah I think that was a good real basic intro and overview and just kind of hammers hammers in that this part of the ecosystem of success as a creative artist is not is not going away in or should it and so it was it is a breath of fresh air and I think about it a lot I think about a lot how how to moderate myself and there’s a lot of fear and and hesitation in this climate of you know you can really you can really put your foot in your mouth so I I I think it says probably at yeah it’s it’s been on my mind you know this whole your sector of industry and where it’s at so this is timely for me until I guess I would say to be somewhat selfish for a moment here with the last few minutes I would say that I guess bringing this back to what my my unique value proposition is to the world as my representing myself and my brain really it is I guess it is kind of element in a way I’m saying sexuality and pornography and all forms of of music and art they can all actually be very healing and very therapeutic and there’s almost a bias against that because people sometimes in some sense people want to just have really either extremely kind of edgy entertainment that just gets them off sexually or titillates them or sort of just appeals to that Hollywood sense of just completely not necessarily that intentional or that healing or that spiritual and so there’s kind of a bias against what I’m offering which could be seen his kind of all you’re you’re just a goody-two-shoes you’re kind of a mama’s boy you want people to be meditating and doing yoga and actually it might my sort of reply to that that biases that actually know what what some of the practices that are done in shamanic Sexual Healing Sarah on your work are actually equally if not more extreme and in and actually riveting and and put you on the edge of your seat as is anything that would be considered danzo or Triple X Ino Xtreme Hardcore and it really is Hardcore to be doing some of the more spiritual aspects of sexuality so when I I put out a press release I don’t know if that was the one that you saw or if that was a wet what the time frame was around that but I would just say to you do you think there is a niche for what would I would call shamanic pornography or porn that intense did not only educate but also to promote healing and healing from trauma and and what not yours if not longer you know when I first got in the industry as far as adult entertainment goes is very one-dimensional especially the media coverage and it was all about getting eyeballs because you could use the word pornography in a way that you know people be like oh what what it what are they going to talk about and then then then there was a change in the change happened when media like Vice came along and media like BuzzFeed and and other media that said to a certain extent and we’re not going to just treat this as one-dimensional because it isn’t a one-dimensional discussion it is in a one-dimensional product you know as as the adult industry expanded I found it interesting that the media expanded in their coverage and you have certainly the negatives does the word in general is certainly looked at in a negative way and I rarely use it I say it because of that is once you say that word and it’s you know maybe one day it’ll be changed or looked at not as this glaring sing but as a form of entertainment form of Education a form of you know healing as as you as you work on but the media look to do more coverage and be more multi-dimensional and to what you’re trying to accomplish and what you’re doing what you’re doing and what you’re trying to accomplish to my point is you can find media that’s not easy but you can find people you can find writers you can find me there you can find public entities you can find people that will want to discover what you are doing and will want to make others aware and will want to build the foundation and build a fanbase in and build a unit around it so which is not the issue these days the issues speed of time and the issue is just sort of the you know overwhelming amount of media that we deal with everyday especially in our current political climate where we’re being overdosed with one piece of toxic news after another and end toxic not men the political fashion just met met you know we’re bombarded with different types of briefs and stories and just aspects of life that can that are just so fast and furious and you’re trying to fit in there you know you’re almost trying to swim upstream and place you know place your story on a rock while well water keeps hitting in the face so I I I constantly am taking on opportunities and clients and different types of niches and different types of products and different types of stories because I know who’s to say that I know what a media person will want to write about or not I don’t what I do is I give them the opportunity and I find out hey is this is this interesting do you want to do this do you want to cover this and it’s yes or no or mid might be a maybe or they’re on the fence or they’ll think about it and we did we discuss it and see what happens so it’s just a the media is a constant River at its its 24/7 its domestic and international you know stories can break anywhere in the world and then just travel the speed of light and around the globe and become as you know become viral so it’s just a it’s just the the effort and the Mine Song of people in your position as to am I ready to take this Challenge on I’ve something Niche I’ve something unique but I think it’s important and and how do I get it out there and and what you know how many people can I turn on to what I have to build from from where I’m at well those are profound words of wisdom and I’ve got chills because I know that at some point I have I’ve got two to cross that and make that leap of faith sand and be willing to be criticized and be willing to be sued and be willing to be all kinds of things and having that team and I feel like the podcast has been a tool to to kind of build that team and to know if there is a you know what keeps me up at night is what happens if there is an influx of capital what if there is a viral content piece that get 50 goes out and it’s not that you become rich and famous overnight at you is that you become suddenly under the microscope and you need to know about compliance with a lot of things and so that that’s my Virgo mind getting getting very sort of The Fearless aspect where I try not to overthink even though it’s impossible but I just I just try and push you know you just you know I I’ve constantly at a career of why not you know why not internet a record label why not internet another one why not drop out of school you know cuz it was just wasting time and money you know and then why not become an assistant why not become a tour publicist why not go to an adult entertainment company Why not start your own PR Company why not work with Gene Simmons you know it’s you know if you can answer why not then there’s no reason you know and you know we always I’m a Star Wars junkie and I think you might be in the same generation or not but we all sort of live by the the words until the age of of Yoda and so you try not you do or you don’t you do not but you just don’t try to go for it and you know there’s certainly you you think things out and they’re processing is calculated risk and what not but I’ve always another mindset where if you if you’re if you’re thinking too much about it then it’s just time wasted you know you’re not pushing forward and what you’re trying to accomplish but once you get past that you know and and you’re not going to know if I sitting around thinking you’ll never know if it takes off or not you just won’t it is the action and it is the risk that you have to eunos put out there and find out if you have something or not and you know I definitely I’ve had all kinds of clients I really have and I’ve had successes clients it succeeded sold our company and made lots of money and I have clients that failed you know but it just nothing worked and Company disbanded and I’ve got you know hundreds of files of clients over 19 years and but they all they all went for it you know wherever they are you know there’s somewhere you know that they took a risk and even when I produced a reality show you know what they say it was a risk I was a two-year process to even get to production but once you know once we decide we’re going to do it my partners and I at the time of that production company we just put her head down and we weren’t going to give up and we got the parties involved then it did well could have done better but it did well exist in there broke a lot of ground but it’s definitely important you know there’s just that dividing line of doing something and in what it is that hold you back from from going for it yeah I hear you there is just kind of wrap up here to respect your time and then I will just say that again More Chills and more of just that that cause mcnab’s you know there was there is one Flagship I guess I would say it was for me was like the pilot episode of the series that I’m doing now it’s called sexorcism the tantric Opera twitch wow Google Keyword that I want to fully on because a lot of without weather so I can get is an album is a band that did an album called sexorcism there’s there’s a kind of I don’t know if it’s play with the idea but but what I’m bringing to it is it is definitely from a pure-hearted place of sincere documentarian work and so hopefully that’s I think what’s going to be what I would put money into an invest in to try to get some some media coverage on and I’ve been a little bit shy about it now for a couple of years just wanting to not be the one to push that in people’s faces but that’s exactly the layer of buffer that I need of someone to say hey look take it or leave it this is what this guy’s doing here it is and if I can have that someone like you help me with that then I think it’ll be it’ll be a dream come true so we will we will talk offline about what your thoughts are for the trajectory of a project like that but I would love to discuss obviously well and I look forward to having that discussion and obviously I appreciate being on your podcast in and you know getting to have this kind of discussion I think I ain’t got to a certain extent I think people you’re right don’t really understand publicity and public relations and media relations and you know marketing to a full extent but I think it’s you know having the conversation and getting the opportunity to talk about it even one person goes wow that’s interesting I want to I want to know what that career is you know something I’m always interested in doing it you know making people aware of the career and path I chose the life I chose and you know going from there well I’m sure there’s a lot of people who would say as they received the rewards that they couldn’t have done it without you and so hopefully I will be able to join those ranks sooner rather than later and again and again thank you for reaching out to me as very synchronistic yeah let’s let’s be in touch do you want to tell people where to find where to find your work and just yeah side BSG pr.com and my Twitter and my Instagram RBS GPR and it’s financials at when I made the company name it was like well we’ll just Brian Scott gross of my name and BSG are my initials and public relations and it was just a simple as that so I guess I was another thing I learned of like trying to keep you know keep it linear and you’re hiring me and so that’s where a Vsepr came from awesome alright will Brian thank you again so much that I had a great time and can’t wait to get to know you better and move on from here so thank you so much again and have a great afternoon thank you you as well look forward to catching up with you again real soon all right take care of podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to sustaining and improving the podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email bad at Tantra Punk. Com

 

How to Love Like a God

Why Get Off When You Can Stay On and Get High?

Everyday we wake up with renewed sexual energy, and we’re driven by the need to do something with it. What does it want to do? It wants to connect with other consenting age-appropriate human beings in as free, open, loving, and wild a way possible. It wants to get us high, heal our bodies, blast us into hyperspace, take us for a trip across the astral plane, keep us peaceful, careful, loving, and kind, bind couples and communities together, drive procreation, and more.

Unfortunately the dominant culture has denied this energy, dammed its flow, and damned its spirit to hell. Virtually everyone in our culture is sexually dysfunctional, physically, mentally, and spiritually. The resulting sickness manifests subtly and overtly in all domains. Much of what is toxic, unsustainable, and harmful in modern civilization can be thought of as the physical manifestation of misdirected sexual energy. When we train our minds and bodies to embrace and cultivate this energy we can build more ethical economic systems, more sustainable infrastructure, and have more compassionate public policy and diplomacy. Instead of trashing the finite planet to build empires of ego, we can build palaces of transcendent pleasure in infinite spiritual realms, right from the comfort of our own bedrooms. Frustrated, angry sublimation can be transmuted to blissful flowing superlimation.

Here are some practical steps for men:

Self Love
Without self love, most people are love deficient, they have a hole that they’re trying to fill, rather than an overflowing abundance that they’re eager to share.

For most of my life I lived without self love. I didn’t think it could be cultivated from within, I thought I needed it to be imported from the outside. Through serious pain, heart-break, and study I learned how and why to self-love. From compliments to the mirror, to medibation (masturbation + meditation), to getting fit, to eating right, to educating myself, I learned to take an active interest in myself so that when I hear the song “Enjoy the Silence” by Depeche Mode, I sing “All I ever wanted, all I ever needed…” to myself, “here in my arms”…me! Without that glowing self love, where you stand tall, with good posture, happy for no reason, content, calm, peaceful, energetic, you can’t attract what you really want. Attraction is a factor of energy. You can be skinny and be unattractive if you’re spirit is faded and you don’t love yourself. Conversely, you can be large and be an electro-magnet because you love yourself and it excites and turns people on. It’s not a matter of how tight the skin is to the bones, it’s a matter of how tight the spirit is to the flesh. The spirit’s food is love, feed it everyday with a life-long romance with yourself, your body, your mind. Your spirit will stay with you and turn heads for you. Crouch like a pretzel in the corner, let your spirit fade, and dwell in the shadow of negative self talk, and self-conceived ugliness, and you will not attract anyone, or whoever you do attract will be of like-vibration, you’ll attract another pain-bodied self-hating energy vampire and you’ll perpetually make life hell for each other.

The simplest way I can put it is to use the cultural construct of the “dream man” or “dream woman”. At one point I said to myself, wait a minute, if I’m this toxic mess of deprivation and clingy, needy desire, and I want some angelic princess to come along and rescue me and make me happy, and be perfect, and never upset me, or change, well, only change to be exactly the way I want her of course…isn’t something missing from the picture? That’s an ugly picture, beauty and the beast! I realized that, the dream love I wanted was a two way street. I had to love myself just as much, I had to be my dream self, or at least know what that was and be working towards it. So I built the vision in my mind of my dream self, and without waiting for someone to rescue me, I went to work, broke out of my shell of self-pity and started to build the dream me. I’ll never be done, because as I grow I want to grow more, but as long as I’m growing, I’m not dying and the mirror gets more and more forgiving and loving. Not just because of physical work, but because of spiritual, intellectual, and emotional work.

In this heart-broken and self-esteem broken society, the mirror is your worst enemy but it can become your best friend no matter what anyone else says about your appearance. It can be a tool to develop a relationship with yourself, your first and only truly life-long relationship. You can go through a million partners, but you’ll always have to face yourself, sleep with yourself, argue with yourself, put up with yourself. The mirror can be a tool for building that abundance of love, from the inside out that you can share with the world.

Training/Practice
By training I mostly mean masturbation, or preferably medibation (masturbation + meditation). For men, if you’re not “getting laid” you better be staying in shape by masturbating not just to get off and get on with life, but rather to make love to yourself with similar time, focus, and attention, as you’d give to the act of love with a partner. Not only is it necessary to maintain “stamina” by mastering the art of riding the edge of climax and drawing the energy through the body with breath and self massage, but it’s necessary to keep your body lit up with erotic energy.

If you’re not in a partnership where sex is shared regularly, maintaining a healthy regular loving relationship with yourself keeps your wiring and gears from rusting and locking up.

Also the power to do sex magic is as potent (though perhaps not as powerful) alone as with a partner. Think about it, when stimulating yourself you’re raising all of this energy into and through your system, whatever thoughts/visions/ideas/desires are in your mind can and should be energized as well. Whether you need to psyche yourself out to remember the study questions for the mid-term, of you’re trying to manifest a new job, or a new lover, why waste the energy by just consuming porn or fantasizing about some cover-girl?

The Love of a Lover
I think you can have great sex with strangers, it’s not very safe, fulfilling, or sustainable, and it can’t get you as high as with a true lover. Developing love first is always a better way to go in my opinion because there can be trust, comfort, relaxation, safety and other ingredients listed below.

So here are few notes on the love of a lover. It’s actually easier to love oneself it seems because you’re in total control of your decisions (unless you’re dominated by addictive behavior, then you’re basically in a toxic relationship with yourself). In relationships, a tension builds over time around all the resentment over little things, the disagreements, power struggles, compromises, annoyances, etc. If that energy isn’t carefully managed and flushed properly, it can back up into the bedroom and toxify the sexual environment. Even worse, sex can be manipulated as a weapon to seek justice or revenge for problems in other domains of the relationship. It can be withheld, or faked, or just done without passion or spirit and be lame. Either partner can find ways to poison the sacred union both intentionally and unintentionally.

In my experience and study, there are a few key patterns in relationships that have to be carefully guarded against. And there are a few practices that have to be religiously maintained in order for healthy, ecstatic sex to be shared.

First I want to describe the typical love curve. For most couples, high states of ecstasy are easily achieved early on because the love is fresh, exciting, and new. There is heightened curiosity, passion, romance, and both partners are on their best behavior, they haven’t yet fought, their lives aren’t yet entangled, they haven’t had to work through issues or compromise on much. This “Cloud 9” high, is great, but it doesn’t last. It’s a true neuro-chemical drug-induced state that sooner or later you “come down” from and reality comes crashing back in. True mastery of love would be to know how to re-access these chemical states and actually enhance them over time as the relationship grows. The difference after the initial free high wares off, is that you have to give more energy and attention to sustain it, and consistently purify the relationship with fun, adventure, novelty, creativity, and most importantly, open hearted communication.

In our culture of instant gratification, cheap thrills, and no work ethic, most people stay perpetually stuck in the “thrill of the chase” stage where you play “the game” of building up a flirtatious and seductive fling. You’re getting high on the excitement of pursuit, there’s uncertainty and the possibility for failure which keeps you on your toes. You play the game and once you win, that is, once you actually hook up, have sex, and start hanging out, the excitement disappears. It becomes easy, mundane, expected, the chase is over, the thrill is gone. So what do you do, you trail off in communications, you stop being responsive, you fade away and begin again with another prey. Men and women do this all the time, usually leaving a broken-hearted victim.

It makes sense in a way because once that 2 week to 2 month easy high wears off, building a lasting love requires disciplined effort, and all of the ugliness of each person starts to creep out. It makes perfect sense, but it also keeps people in perpetual immaturity. Why do people get stuck in the addictive “chase” cycle, because they lack the patience and discipline to really apply themselves to build real love. The lack of true love, and shallowness of constant flings means ultimate lack of fulfillment and unhappiness, and often the inability to experience the highest states of ecstasy.

I’ve basically tried to establish this phenomenon of the love curve. We’re all some where along it. The goal I think should be to understand it, and find ways to healthily work through it so that it’s more evenly spaced. For example, in a long term relationship, when the initial spike drops, expect it, be aware of it, and don’t think that the love is dead, just know that like a garden, it will die if not properly maintained with TLC. So many couples are sexless for decades, then shell out thousands of dollars to therapists just so they can re-ignite that initial romantic passion. The next time you fall in love, keep a dairy together and take good notes on what felt the best so you’ll have a bread crumb trail to follow when times get tough.

Every person has certain stimuli that make them feel loved the most. It could be a word, a voice tonality, a touch, a place to visit, whatever it may be, the point is we need to know things like this about ourselves and our lovers, and we need to upkeep the practice of making one another feel loved. And we need to learn how to clear emotional space so that passion can be kept alive.

Again, like a garden, if you don’t properly bury the weeds and their seeds in sheet mulch, all the nutrients will be robbed and your crops will be grown over and buried alive. It’s easy to get lazy and let the weeds grow in relationships, so that you can’t even see what you originally planted. If you’re lucky it’s still there, but it’s going to be a hard job to clear it up and bring it into full production if you’ve let it go for a while. That’s why simple, steady, low-level maintenance is so important in love. Going back to the self love component, the more inner prep work you’ve done while alone, the less weeds will sprout in the garden of your love with a partner. With the right amount of preparation and maintenance you’ll be spending more time smelling each others flowers and tasting each others fruits than pulling each others weeds.

Just try to set the intention with yourself and your lover to keep a burning desire for each other alive, and make sure to have combustible chemistry always. It’s not easy, don’t blame yourself or your partner if it fades. The dropping off of the curve is natural, accept it and put effort into pushing it up to ever-higher levels! I great formula for sustaining healthy long-term relationships that I’ve learned and practiced is: daily affection, weekly date-nights, and monthly romantic adventures. I’ve added a couple bonuses: on demand 5-10 minute cuddle breaks and on demand spontaneous dance breaks.

Selectivity
Your sex partner should be someone with whom you share similar life goals. The more aligned your ambitions are the more stable and fruitful the relationship will be. Falling in lust and building a relationship without a foundation of purpose can often be a recipe for disaster. Co-creative synergy should be as important in selecting a mate as sexual chemistry and physical attractiveness.

Prayer and Intent
Before love making verbalize a shared intention, it could be to honor each other as divine beings, to deepen the love, or to achieve a specific outcome such as manifesting a promotion at work. Sacred sexuality involves sexualizing prayer and overcoming religious shame of carnal pleasure. Whatever names you use to call upon your God(s)/Goddess(es) of choice, addressing them in your love making ritual is essential. Many people exclaim “Oh My God” unconsciously throughout the act. In my experience, sexual energy is an amplifier of your prayers. If you want your prayers to make it to the top of the stack, state them clearly and believe fully that whatever request you make will be best received when packaged in a container of pure loving grace.

Time
This is very subjective and variable. But to be safe, my experience and study tells me that for intercourse itself, 30 minutes or more is the optimal range for the magic to really happen. There are so many energetic and chemical currents, some raging, some very subtle, but they’re all epic in their development. The more time they have to flow, the more merging of consciousness can occur so that you become one unified vessel of blissful consciousness able to soar through higher dimensions.

Sacred Set and Setting
Creating a magical altar, lighting candles, burning incense, playing music, wearing sensual clothing, etc. can anchor a sacred mindset and on a metaphysical level, serve to disinfect the environment. Ritualizing the build up to union creates an atmosphere where consciousness is focused, attention is undivided, and the body has the cues it needs for juices to flow and for arousal to occur gradually from a deeper level of being. You may choose to burn sage and call in by name whatever spiritual allies you are close to and command that all things that don’t serve the highest good be banished, be they negative emotions, energies, or entities. If this sounds too occult or hippie-ish, it’s easy enough to simply verbalize that you intend to create a field of pure love where nothing but the truth of bliss is welcome.

Bathing
Bathing is one of the most sensual activities you can share together. It’s always recommended from a sexual health and hygiene perspective, beyond that it effectively sets up the “take turns” approach to giving and receiving pleasure.

Physical Energy
Energy comes from proper eating habits, hydration, regular exercise, rest and the right attitude. Poor diet, dehydration, lack of movement, sleep deprivation and a negative attitude will rob you of energy. Huge meals before love making can obviously sap energy. Light meals at least a couple of our before love making is recommended and trays of fresh fruit, berries, nuts, chocolate, and other healthy sensual foods to snack on throughout a love making session are quite nice and help sustain energy levels.

Dance
Dancing is the art of making love before or without having sex. If you haven’t danced with someone, how can you trust them with your heart and your sexual health? Dancing is an essential part of maximizing the potential of foreplay. It’s what starts all of the engines in the charka system. It gets the blood flowing, detoxifies the lymph system, and gets you energetically prepared for long lasting, full bodied, transcendent orgasms. It also creates a field within which only blissful emotion can survive, it makes the past dissolve, and allows smiles to bubble to the surface uncontrollably.

You can roll on top of each other at midnight after you click off the TV, knowing you have to get up at 6:00am, and the love making will most likely leave much to be desired. A better approach would be to shut off the TV a couple hours earlier and pretend you and your lover are the TV stars, act out and role play your own script, be your own entertainment, and make it a dancing musical while you’re at it!

Relaxation with Massage
When people rush to sex, they’re not taking the time to shed the energetic tension of the day. Massage is an exquisite means to bring the body to a state of complete and total relaxation. If lovers gave each other even a five minute coconut oil massage before intercourse, they’d experience exponentially more pleasure and satisfaction.

Full Attention and Presence with Meditation
Meditation is the key to focusing your full attention and into the body and the present moment. It can be as simple as closing your eyes and focusing your attention on deep breaths. There are infinite ancient and modern techniques from all over the world. It’s best to try a variety and decide what works best for you and your partner. Whether you’re sitting still, stretching, or dancing, the goal should be to quiet the mind.

Breathing, and Conscious Energy Circulation
Breathing techniques are extremely important. There are all kinds that should be studied and experimented with. According to Tantric and Taoist traditions, the breath can be the most powerful tool to circulate energy. It’s critical that the men master breathing techniques so that the high voltage sexual energy can be drawn up from genitals and  circulate internally throughout the body, and externally when with a partner. There are many detailed diagrams of energy flow within an individual’s sexual energetic circuitry and the same for couples. I won’t describe these in detail here, but it’s enough to know that when shared sexual energy is built in a couple, it has to go somewhere. For many men who don’t consciously circulate their sexual energy with breathing, meditation, and visualization techniques, premature ejaculation is a lifelong curse.

If the energy is not consciously cycled within the individual or couple, it will get jammed in the genital area and eventually explode in the form of a fleeting orgasm. But when circulated, it can result in waves of multiple orgasm for both the female and the male, and thus push the couples unified consciousness into ever higher and deeper altered states of ecstasy.

Warning: breath and energy circulation techniques should be practiced only with the guidance master. Extremely powerful waves of energy can be released that require advanced methods of preparation to be able to safely endure.

Eye Gazing
Eye gazing, or sustained eye contact is one of the most intense forms of intimacy. It comes easily in the early stages of love and when practiced regularly during sex can play an important role in sustaining true love. Having sex in the dark or with eyes closed, or astray, allows the mind to wander. Consciousness can leave the moment, whether it’s to fantasize about someone else, or go over the shopping list, without eye contact, there’s no guarantee that quality attention is shared. It doesn’t have to be constant, but it should be regular, and it should be what starts the sexual session.

It’s not desirable to be fettered with all kinds of formal procedures, or to keep count of this or that, the point is to train in these things so that they become effortless and automatic. It’s just like martial arts, you train to learn the skill and eventually like magic the skill performs for you without arduous effort. Your consciousness is free to just be fully present in the experience as your body dances with the energy using the tools and techniques you taught it.

Basic Anatomy and Stimulation
Developing an understanding of female anatomy is so important. The dominant culture has trained men to believe that 100% of a woman’s pleasure is a direct result of his size when in fact the majority of erogenous tissue is in and around the clitoris. And only certain positions actually allow the penis to reach the G-Spot.

Sadly, porn cinematography favors the visually dramatic deep thrusting pattern which is typically the least pleasurable for the woman, and the most overstimulating for the man. The key is to balance the stimulation, so excitement builds steadily for both partners. Keep the thrusting pattern at a ratio that favors shallow over deep. This will protect you from overstimulation and keep her in a positive feedback loop of building anticipation and reward.

Another vital strategy to prevent premature ejaculation is to do what boxers do when they get exhausted. You know how they burrrow themselves into each other as though to hide from their opponents punches by limiting their range and velocity? Well you can achieve the same effect by thrusting all the way in and holding on tight with a bear hug so that the range of thrusting motion is limited and your stimulation is decreased. You’ll discover that being in deep for longer periods of time actually benefits your partner because she’ll be happy to grind on your public bone while you whimper and pant while regaining your strength for continued thrusting action.

Direct manual clitoral stimulation should not be done immediately, rather, slow caressing of the pelvic area should be gradually built up. Packed in the clitoris are as many nerves as the entire penis, and there’s a “circuit overload” phenomenon that can be quite uncomfortable and inhibit arousal.Direct manual clitoral stimulation should not be done immediately, rather, slow caressing of the pelvic area should be gradually built up. Packed in the clitoris are as many nerves as the entire penis, and there’s a “circuit overload” phenomenon that can be quite uncomfortable and inhibit arousal.

There is also the G-Spot, which is just behind the pubic bone in the inner vaginal wall. Insert one or two fingers and do the “come hither” motion to put pressure on the dense sponge-like tissue. Once you and your partner have located it with fingers and she can identify the sensation, experiment with various positions of intercourse and become more conscious of how to stimulate it with the penis.

The male anatomy is pretty self-explanatory, however most straight folk are unaware of the male G-Spot, which is the prostate. It’s about the size of a dried apricot and it can be stimulated from the outside by applying pressure between the testicles and the anus, or for the slightly more adventurous, from within via insertion of body parts/objects of your choice into the anus.

Everyone is different, everyone’s wiring is different; that is what’s fun about getting to know someone sexually. For someone to share with you what makes them unique and for them to train you to play them like a musical instrument can be a true joy.

I won’t go into detail about positions, oral techniques, thrusting patterns, etc. here, just study, experiment and keep in mind the principles of spontaneity and diversity.

Consider how when you put your clothes on, your body registers the sensation, but once it’s registered, it doesn’t keep sending you the same signals. There’s a trailing off of sensation once your body gets used to something so the changing of position, rate, depth, patterns, etc. often keeps the body guessing and the signals are more intense.

Climactic Equality
So how does the average American male understand his sexual energy and its application with a sex partner? Generally, like most things in patriarchal culture, it’s understood within a construct of goal oriented sports. Hence the metaphors, “Did you score?, “No, I only got to third base,”… Guys are culturally taught that the objective is to score, first by getting a woman in bed, second by performing athletically so that she reaches climax during or before his climax. No surprise that the locker-room wisdom for guys to keep from ejaculating prematurely is to “think of a sport where you haven’t shot the ball yet…”

The primary goal of simply having sex is far more rewarded and tallied in the locker room than the secondary goal which is to perform in a way the satisfies one’s partner. So although all men know they’re supposed to be able to “go all night long” most don’t bother to learn how. The average American married couple’s sex lasts for 3-5 minutes.

This tragedy is one of the main reasons why countless American women have never had an orgasm during intercourse, and if shamed away from masturbation, have never had an orgasm at all.

So what’s really going on here? There’s an orgasmic economy that’s very unequal. The untrained man is quickly overwhelmed by stimulation while his female partner is consistently underwhelmed. The man gets off and passes out leaving the woman teased and dissatisfied. This cycle repeats again and again until they cheat, divorce, or die.

Balancing sexual energy requires increasing duration and can be achieved with a variety of trained/practiced techniques and fundamental understandings.

For sexual union to bring both male and female partners into altered states of ecstasy, this balance has to be achieved.

Because of the physiological differences between women and men, it’s easy for a man to simply get aroused physically whereas a woman’s arousal originates from a deeper place physically and spiritually. It’s like building a camp fire, it has to be done according to certain principles. If you light a match and drop a log on it, it won’t burn, you have to take the time to make the perfect little nest of tinder, build a perfect cone of kindling, and in stages build up to a roaring fire.

The problem with most men is that we’re not aware of this because, it’s not required for us to climax. A minimum 30 minutes of intercourse is a lot to ask as many men can’t survive the intensity of stimulation more than a few minutes. Or if they can last for 30 minutes or longer, if their heart isn’t present, they’re not going to bring their partner to climax, hence the faked female orgasm.

Without becoming distracted or anxious by having a goal to perform perfectly, couples can work over time towards the ability to increase duration and heartful presence.

The real goal should be to focus full attention on your partner and the pleasure itself, it’s only with this full presence that the doors to higher dimensions open. However many men regularly project their attention elsewhere and thus never let their full energy, spirit, and consciousness fill up in the moment. That’s truly what builds female arousal, the physical aspect is secondary to this primary need.

With the understanding that in order to “satisfy” a woman, a man must last longer, what can he do? One way to visualize male physiology is to imagine a circuit breaker. When the circuit is overloaded it breaks and the lights go out. Ever plug in too many appliances at once, and everything shuts off and you’re standing there like a fool in the dark? Welcome to the bedrooms of millions of couples across America.

A man has to learn to distribute the high-voltage current throughout his whole body, this is the only way he can survive the intensity. First he must know that it’s possible to withhold ejaculation yet have multiple and continuous full body orgasms. Many men haven’t ever been introduced to this idea. In many cases, masturbation in adolescence was done quickly, secretly, and in a state of shallow rapid breathing under the stress and fear of being caught. That doesn’t set up a good neuro-physiological template for long, relaxed, sacred love making later in life.

Once the idea is learned, the art and science has to be studied, practiced, and mastered. There are many books, websites, videos, classes, etc. on ejaculation control, or as some people like to say ejaculation “choice”. Just Google multiple male orgasms, Taoist Sexual Kung Fu, and Tantric Cobra breath.

Another training technique that both men and women should do on a regular basis is kegel exercises where you repeatedly contract the “PC” (pubococcygeus) muscles on the pelvic floor in various intervals. They’re the same muscles used to stop the flow of urination. If you haven’t identified them, next time you urinate, do what you normally would to stop the flow and you’ve found them. When men regularly contract these muscles, they condition the ability to withhold ejaculation by contracting them as the urge to ejaculate arises. For women, the main application of conditioned PC muscles is to create more tightness and muscle control during intercourse.

Non-goal Orientation
Going back to the sports analogy, if the man is distracted and caught up just trying to make the woman climax, he’s not fully present, not fully being in the experience. If a woman is feeling anxiety because she wants to force herself to climax so she can make the man feel like he’s not a failure, and protect his fragile ego, she’s not fully present and enjoying the experience. Yes the climax of both partners is desirable, but as long as there’s mutual effort put in by both parties to develop the skills to have a general equality of climax over time, it won’t be the end of the world if the male either loses an erection, or prematurely ejaculates during one session. So the goal should be to not have a goal and to just feel as freely as possible, but to have done the homework to make disappointment the exception not the rule.

Have fun, be safe, be sacred. You are already a God, you just need to train and condition your sexual Godhood so that you can rise to the built in potential of your Goddess.