Tag Archives: fetish

Allie Eve Knox pic

Revolutionizing Adult Industry Payments with Allie Eve Knox of SpankChain TPP251


In this episode I’m joined by Allie Eve Knox, VP of Sales at SpankChain for a exploration of her crypto journey and her role at the illustrious SpankChain crypto company

Allie is a Fetish Performer, Content Creator, VP of Sales at SpankChain

My Non Verbatim Show Notes:

allie nox vp sales

super in debt,grad school, camming at night, do it house, didn’t have to sit in traffic


started shooting porn

custom videos, out of bedroom, camming

2017 found spank chain

got in fight with somebody on twitter,

you should hire me, sent resume, i work her now, these are the things i’m gonna do

coming into start up tech space, adult liaison, didn’t know how to deal with my dominatrix character

working with them since ICO

putting out a bunch of pr

we were so strange

aliens in the room

realized, people

weren’t assimilated into tech

did an ico in ico days 2017,

white paper, cam site, crypto only camsite, launched beta april 2018, no privates, no personal chat, site looked really good

beta for a year

discovered, shit hit the fan with crypto, started tanking, people stopped wanting to spend

hard to find user base to part with money

credit card payments brought in more traffic

user account process, get key phrases, all typical crypto stuff

people were really confused by it, constantly losing there stuff

had to completely overhaul the back end

took camsite down, launched few products

hopefully will be bring cam site back up

now first version, model profiles build off of that , where cam site and clip site built on

find favorite model

just put out very first version at AVN

model’s able to get own custom link,

here’s my link pay me through there

links to video content

basically whatever you want

so many benefits in crypto

I’ve had all my accounts shut down, I was violating the rules for selling panties or content

started taking crypto

no one’s gonna protect the adult industry

spankchain, we’re gonna make this for the adult industry

everything’s anonymous, not a thing where I wife is gonna find his credit card purchases

won’t get shut down, low fees

some sites take 50%

credit card processing, we pay taxes

with crypto we just take a 1% fee, .5% for merchants

stable coin, super exciting

really simple cash out process

wills done excellent job of making user experience super easy and intuitive

appreciate community coming together

building a platform models want to use

charge backs, all typical shit

take you’re finances

booty stable coin

really nice to count on,

really nice if I have $250 goal it’s gonna be the same price

whatever you bring in, minus 1% fee

at first didn’t have this on camsite in beta

having to explain price fluctuation

models want to know how to sell things

we just want to make it work, all the technical stuff I don’t know, it doesn’t matter

that’s all I need

I don’t really know how cash works or

don’t have anybody we partner with

gemini sex worker friendly

really good dealings with them

still have to go through exchange, kyc all those things

but I can kind of tease this, we are working on regulations for fiat offramp

load up on spank pay, go and pay bill

going through regulatory process on that, we’ll know mid march

due diligence, paperwork on all that

started camming, paid out on pay card

I could just go cash out automatically

really save me in times when I needed to get paid

that’s really gonna open doors for people

if we start seeing it in everyday practice showing friends

really hope that’s what’s coming next, h

we’re gonna clone product for other people in adult

cannabis, having a hell of a time with payments

there always getting fucked too, we’re gonna co-brand a product, like a white label

we targeted the people who needed this product

we wanted to build the things that the people needed

adult really needed it

this is what we’re all stoked on, this is how we live our lives

the bigger picture is white label it for whoever wants it

start with adoption for people who really need it

people who are unbankable

kind of a solution to a whole lot of problems

urge community to participate in this

send crypto on this

for me, someone in my camroom taught me how to use crypto

2018 started showing up different attitudes towards crypto

adult is always the forefront of technology

maybe if it takes off only a handfull will use it,

never came in there, we’re gonna change the game, we’re another solution we can solve a few problems, we’re hear, we don’t wanna fight

showing up year after year, friendly, hang out with models, provided good community

people started to take us more seriously

started winning awards, good press, kind of the black sheep, kinda strange ones

we were like the red headed step children of the industry

we kept showing up being friendly and cool, putting out products

markets have crashed but we’re still here

a little easier this last year, proven numbers, partners that really like us

been kind of a turning point

now its t

camsite didn’t have a lot of features

small team

takes a long time to do a lot of really cool shit

gave a space for people do do whatever they wanted

people slept

people garden

crypto allows you to do whatever the hell you want

free speech

so open, accepting

it was a no pressure zone, be yourself

smoke, eat

no ranking, no cam score

people were able to monetize it

one time, battle test on site, everybody on at the same time

we want you to break shit, push buttons all be streaming at the same time

spank house, going in tipping,

models streaming, we built this fucking product, spent every moment of our lives

really cool, everybody in this moment, so proud, so thankful model

spank house corporate culture

boys lived in venice beach, had a loft, had extra bedroom, most of team was remote

people would sleep on couches, get together a week a month, bang through things

boys had that place until this winter, downsized, it was a really great spot where the whole team could be together

we’re still remote, devs in canada, I’m in texas, to get team together on call once a week is not enough

company culture, spend a lot of time together, hang out together eat together, work together

we all get together and spend time together

working on this product, lived and breathed

I have a spank chain shirt,

we still have a problem, and have to build a solution

if eth is at 100 or 1000, still that problem out there, no one else is gonna do it

no one else has stepped up

we’re going to work every last second we possibly can

that’s one reason I’m still in this

I need someone to help me protect my money

I need this product

I will work tirelessly to make this product

this what drives every person on the team

whatever that markets gonna do

full force, here are the things we’re gonna do

market has changed so much

Sensual Sharon with Phone

Exploring the Lifestyle of a Phone Sex Artist with Sensual Sharon Somers TPP217


In this episode I’m joined by Sensual Sharon Somers for a fun and exciting exploration of the lifestyle of a phone sex artist. We learn about how the industry works, what it takes to make it, what to expect, how she’s been able to make it for years as a small business woman, the freedom and efficiency of home business operations, how she compassionately entertains and soothes the bizarre and often wounded sexual psyches of countless men, the patterns she’s observed, the broader ramifications for a more sexually healthy and expressed society, and much much more!

About Sharon :

Sharon has been a phone sex operator, recording artist and writer for adult websites for 11 years now. Her voice is well known online for the recordings of hundreds of erotic short stories she has done that are posted on her own sites and on erotic short stories sites.



AI Generated Transcription:
(Want to help with corrections? Please contact me to learn about rewards for your efforts!)

Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello Debra Levin podcast episode summaries who is a phone sex artist extraordinaire that’s all kinds of erotic audio and I reached out to The Exodus Community on the forms of extras. Net to see if there are any folks out there would like to do some self promotion and increase I had you keep folks on this podcast and had a few people step up and want to be on the show and then she’s one of them and I’m excited to share this beautiful wild Amazing adult industry with her and learn about 11 years I believe career in doing phone sex and an erotic audio media and I’m also in that game so I always love to meet other people who are doing doing that work and share that talk shopping and learn about some of the tricks of the trade so with that said Sharon do you want to tell us about it whatever detail is appropriate to come ask your true identity and to allow you to have your stage name but just curious if you could tell the story of Sharon Summers if it’s not totally your personal thank you very much for having me first of all being like a lot of ladies in the business unfortunately I got into it because of financial desperation granted that’s not the reason all women get into it but a lot do it, the last chance type of job for some people so I found myself doing that but I I found out pretty quickly that it actually fit perfectly in with my life I wanted something where I can work from home have the freedom of hours to login logout whenever I wanted if I need to go out for the day have a dentist appointment or want to go to the theater to see a matinee I don’t have anybody’s permission I can just log out and go and I love that kind of Freedom it it really just fits in with my nature so I started doing that and then very quickly after getting into the phone sex work I started doing the erotic audios and so clients will submit their stories that they’ve written about their fantasies and I will narrate them for them and they have those to enjoy and listen to over and over and over I mean want to call is over it’s over I don’t record calls or anything help clients don’t either but when they have an erotic audio they can just listen to that anytime they want that’s actually surprised me how many have said oh yes I do he’s a few times a week and I’m like wow you’re really getting your money’s worth out of those and I started doing writing for adult websites I had always written short stories for my own enjoyment before I ever got into anything at all. I’ve been writing short stories ever since I was a teenager and so I wrote a lot of the material for the earlier adios that I did before I mainly started doing one’s the clients submitted their work to me to narrate and so there was an owner of a phone sex company that was interested in posting some of my audio is on his his phone sex site from her clients that we’re waiting for collars and what not and so he said did you write these then I suggest and he said would you be interested in writing some blogs promoting my phone sex websites and I said of course I’ve never done it before but I’m willing to try so I’ve been writing for various phone sex websites for over 10 years on a weekly basis another operators as well because not all ladies enjoy the writing that they don’t have an aptitude for it and some companies actually will require the lady to submit a couple of written works a week because it helps a site with their search engine optimization Drive clients to the side against them higher up in the Google rankings and whatnot so they need somebody to write all this content and ladies that don’t like to write themselves will find somebody like me and I will write it for them then they pay me to do it so I do that in addition to the phone and the erotic audio said I do it’s so fascinating I just feel like we could be on Shark Tank or something right now or some other kind of really found your Niche and you it sounds like this is a calling for you and there’s so many layers of opportunity in ecosystem of feel like you are like pitching to Angel Investors and you’ve got a business plan you’ve got all these things kind of dialed in and and yeah just there should be a training program because it sounds like a dream life really isn’t it built the business unfortunately or fortunately for the veterans like me it has an extremely high turnover of women that we’ll try it some will only last a few hours some will last a few days so I’m a few weeks it’s not that common to find women that have been in it for the long haul like me and yet I know a couple of other ladies that have been doing it for 20 years 35 years have really been in the game from way before the internet even when it was just people working out of little Pocono call centers and whatnot I’ve always worked at home but when it started out before the internet people were working in these call centers I can’t even imagine doing a job like this then I call center it would be crazy but I know some of them have got this experience but a lot of girls that will try it they can’t deal with it they can’t deal with the needs and wants of some of these callers cuz they can be pretty unusual to have the kind waste so they will they’re just their socks off day they can’t do it so it has a very very high turnover of women that do it what do you think it takes to be one of the long-term success. I love to know what what you feel like Nikki. The power well I can only speak for myself I don’t know what motivates other people I think for the ones that really find out quickly that it fits in well with the lifestyle that they want to work from home have the flexibility of ours what have you they make it work and that was the boat that I’m in I never went to college I had never worked from the time I finish high school until I got into this I had only ever looked after my grandmother from the time I finish high school so when you’re here for a number of years you’ve never worked a day in your life your options are kind of limited on the flea and easy I certainly didn’t want to have to go back to school I hated school it just that was not what I wanted I mean who exactly is going to hire somebody that has zero experience you know what are your options McDonald’s or Wal-Mart really and I definitely we knew I did not want to do that so I told myself from day one failure was not an option that I had to make this work and I have made it work there certainly ladies that are a lot more successful profitable than I am but I get by I get by just fine and it just it fits perfectly so I knew that I had to make it work and it definitely helped that I do the audio is in the writing because that supplements my income there’s some lady said they only do calls there’s lots of them that don’t do any audio at all most certainly don’t do any writing so I’m very glad that I have those other things that I do and I do non-adult voice work as well not a lot the majority of the voice works that I do is adult in nature but I still have several companies that I do small jobs for for PBX phone systems where you know you’re doing Prince one for accounting press two for human resources guy do stuff like that as well as those I have several of these small little jobs of months I mean they’re just tiny little things but I always figured no matter how small the job is like that even if this company is only paying me $10 a month that’s $10 I otherwise would not have it all adds to the pot at the end of the month that’s how I look at it so yeah you know sometimes I’ll get 20 of reading some months from a company other time so only be a couple but they all out outfits how you have to look at it and you never know somebody that you’ve worked for they make it some kind of a lead for you of somebody else that wants somebody to do something like this and they’ll recommend you so there’s all kinds of different things by I love the voice over work I do the most boring job I ever had for voice-over was I had to take the series of audios on english-as-a-second-language oh my God that was just torture it really was a job get through it it was just the most boring tedious thing but I’m not there to be entertained I’m there to narrate their script I realized that I’m not there to have a great time so you just get through the work and and that’s it and I’m grateful for all these little voice over jobs that come my way adults or vanilla weather brings up a good point which is that anybody who has or whatever reason the occasion to even dabble in anything they don’t industry it’s going to give you a lot of life skills and negotiation skills communication skills business personal finance all kinds of even even legal sometimes contract writing and reading skills and so I looked that you’ve been able to Branch out and just sounds like you’re living the dream of the freelancer who’s actually been able to make it and then I never have to work for the man in a way that makes you feel like you’re stuck in a cubicle 95 or something him at school, she’s like you don’t know how lucky you’ve got it I wouldn’t say I’ve living the dream you know talking to guys and every day and night about their 2 inch penis as I don’t know where that would be considered living the dream but whenever it talking to the grates on my nerves and I can’t listen to one more of them complain about how they have a 2 inch penis or some other bizarre problem I have I just keep telling myself these people you know your bread and butter people that I’ve told the first thing that they will say is all you’re so lucky to be able to work from home that is one thing that everybody says one of the first things when I when I tell people that I do that they’re they’re jealous they want to be able to work from home and they can’t and some of them I got long commutes and I mean I love live theater I go to Toronto several times a year to go see shows and lots of times I’ll be sitting on the train I go on the commuter train in the morning and these poor people there like slave helicopter laptops own and everything doing their work on the way to work and sometimes they’ll tell me oh yeah I take the train for an hour there and an hour back or there was one way to deceive in 2 hours each way I thought what kind of life is that to be commuting one to two hours each way I wouldn’t do that for anyting you know my commutes for four feet from the bed to the chair her basically I just can’t imagine people having to commute like that in their whole lives are wrapped up in this is like dark when they leave the house dark by the time they get home that’s not a life for me so I’m very very grateful I can work at home awesome yeah well I actually had they said I’ve done been this work quite a number of hours myself and I said some of the best money I’ve ever made and you always get those repeat clients and they just kind of stuck in a loop of like a broken record of the fantasy and I just want to pump you full of the money like your pinball machine or something really interesting you bring up the point about that the man with small penises and you feel like you have developed weather maybe it’s inmates you or make you feel like you’ve been able to be in some sensor a priestess of spiritual healer something some way of therapists in the sense that you’re helping people move make some progress in their their fantasy lives there and their body image of king of size issues that you get that fine that the people can rely on you for some of that type of nutrient your healing energy when I was in school so this job has fulfilled a lot of fat but it’s funny that you say about Sin all the different pant suits I remember when I started I was so worried thinking how am I going to think of a difference little scenario to spend for these guys every single time they call Will it quickly became apparent that I’d say about 90% of collars when they call they basically want the same call over again and I thought so many times for it to be so much easier if you just recorded it and replayed it because it’s almost like to know the letter to be exact sense of what they want you to say they there’s very few that actually seek a lot of variety in their fantasies most of them want to go through the exact same fantasy every single time so it’s like you can do those calls with those types of collars practically on autopilot because you know exactly what they want once you’ve done it a few times you know you have the script basically in your head and it’s funny the way that some of them just want the same thing over and over and over and I’ve had some clients for the whole 11 years and there’s still the same way it’s like every time they call they want to talk about the exact same thing so it’s kind of amusing to me honestly that there that predictable write it that I’ve had the same experience and I suppose if it’s something that doesn’t seem really self abusive or harmful then I’ll go along with it and and humor them and everything but I can’t I send it that’s them in some direction of of transcendence of of something if it’s really troubling to them a really sort of negative in some sense that but she also can’t be judgmental right so so you can you without holding anybody specifically or any specific can use talk about some of the general patterns beyond the obligatory small penis calls and maybe even talking about that it’s like what are some of these patterns that you’ve observed over that many years of what what what what’s going on inside of the mind of you lose man you know we don’t know how much, babe what what percentage of the population they really really really represent you know if statistically but but it’s great to be great to hear from you sound like what some of the the patterns are people can relate the lives of others definitely patterns that emerge once you talk to some of these people and totally different guys that have nothing to do with one another and they basically have the same fantasies the small penis humiliation calls it that’s one of my most popular calls that I get I get more of those practically than any other type of call and the pattern does quickly present itself you know this poor guy Mother Nature has shortchanged him there’s nothing he can do no matter how much money he’s willing to spend no matter what kind of surgeries he’s willing to endear there’s not really much that he can do he’s got a small dick and he’s always going to have a small deck and it is so ingrained in their minds that women are going to reject them make fun of them mock them other men are going to belittle them that I swear if these men had their greatest prayer answered and they woke up the next day with an 8 inch penis they wouldn’t know what the hell to do with it because it is so part of their psyche that they are small and inadequate to please a woman they wouldn’t know what to do with it they really wouldn’t they would be very uncomfortable there’s been several of these guys that I’ve said well why don’t you just go to an escort and they’re not going to reject you as long as you’ve got money they’re not going to reject you and they get so uncomfortable when I said that that they will do everything but a dance to get away from you know me saying that so I tried not even bother saying it anymore because it’s just falling on deaf ears they don’t really want to go to any woman that is going to accept them because that is foreign that is uncomfortable and that is unfamiliar and they don’t want it and if they did go to some escort that would take them no matter how small their dick is they would be probably as limp as a dish Rag and not able to do anything because they’re on foreign territory they’re only used two women laughing at them in or telling their girlfriends and making fun of them it’s it’s so so part of their nature now, but that’s all they’ve known their whole lives they don’t want anybody to accept them and and I said especially with a guy that’s just slightly undersized if he says I’m 5 in the North American average erect so I’m like well as small but it’s workable it’s not worth rejecting somebody over and they they don’t want to hear this they do not want to hear acceptance on any level they’re like oh no know if it’s under a tin they’re to be reasoned with they just want to be mocked and made fun of but that pattern very quickly comes out especially with those ones that group more than any other there’s there’s definite patterns guys into spanking fetishes were usually caught by mom masturbating and spank him with the punishment and even though mom may have been dead for the last 30 years they’re still beating off thinking of getting you know spanked when they were a kid for getting caught that pattern quickly came out to that that one’s very predictable if a guy has a spanking fetish the chances are he was spanked as punishment well yeah this is I would have to I would have to be honest and say I’m not a trained psychotherapist your psychoanalyst or anything but are you acting sad devil is an armchair philosopher at least of all things psychological and I think a lot of people into it the the earliest erotic experiences 10 to do the most hard wiring for the rest of your life and it’s very very interesting to see what that serve cocktail of experiences and things going on internally the chemistry and and how that sort of gels into something that creates that that template that people get stuck with running so they have you had the experience of actually seeing anyone find any well even anyone that has a desire to say hey I’ve got this recurring fantasy that I can’t break free of but I want to and can you help me kind of work through some material and gets to the point of sending me some people might say freedom from it or just having some something to even compare it to cuz if that’s all they know then they don’t even know the outside of that that Fishbowl could be my friend there was one color that comes to mind when you say that if somebody to have a fetish that they really did want to break free from he had actually gone to a psychiatrist he was so upset by it and he wanted to stop it but he couldn’t and the topic that I absolutely hate and I hate when guys ever call I usually just tell him to call somebody else he was an adult baby and these guys put diapers on and they they wet their pants and and go to the bathroom in the midst of disgusting and this guy was so upset that he enjoyed doing this he said I come home after work I put on my diaper I sit on the floor and I know I rub my cock and then I go to the bathroom in my diaper oh my God it’s just disgusting so he he was he was crying on the phone he was sober Afton upset about this and he’s like I’ve actually gone to a psychiatrist because I just don’t know what to do to stop and he’s like well the psychiatrist told me I’m not hurting anybody yes it may be kind of icky but at the end of the day I’m not hurting anybody nobody knows about it it’s not affecting anybody’s life so I’m just probably going to have to live with this attraction to this fetish and carry it out it will and I thought well the psychiatrist is right he’s not hurting anybody but it is pretty gross but I guess there’s worse things that people could be doing but I really don’t enjoy collars that wants to talk about God cuz I I have a strong X Factor about that topic but there’s people doing all kinds of weird and believe me you really don’t want to know what your coworkers are friends or neighbors or anybody is doing behind closed doors they tell me what they do behind closed doors and I’m horrified it at a lot of the stuff they tell me and nobody in their life knows about it they keep it a secret and I just get it’s amazing how they unload all this stuff and I can understand they can’t tell their wives because she kicked them out they can’t tell their friends because they would never be looked at the same so they and they wouldn’t have the nerve to tell a psychiatrist you know looking face-to-face with them these things so they find girls like me to share these desires with that they can’t tell anybody else and in a way to great honor that they are literally telling me their deepest darkest thoughts especially when there a personal client where I take their credit card information and I know their real name I know their address I know I know all this personal information so it’s even more flattering that they’re entrusting me with this deeply personal information and giving me all this trust you know what some company where they call and they can say their name is John Smith and you have no idea who they really are that is as Anonymous As It Gets I have no way of knowing when they’re calling a company like that but when it’s a direct dial type of call like I have on my own line and a couple of other lines that I work at you do have their real information and I always think you know you’re lucky I’m an honest person if you ever got some lady that decided to go Rogue and blackmail you you could be in for a whole lot of embarrassment at some of the things that they tell you but that one with the adult baby fetish he definitely really wanted to stop that but he just for whatever reason wasn’t able to stop but he just was addicted to it and some guys are addicted that is the word I would use to some of their fetishes and they know that it’s not healthy they know that is not say some of the activities that they’re engaging in and it’s like a drug they just can’t stop themselves when I think some of these guys are telling me the Craigslist personals was closed down a few years ago it was like the end of the world for a lot of the faithful to call me believe me because it was such a huge part of their sex life they would be going on these personal than having random sex with strangers and some guys say oh yeah I met this guy on the Craigslist personals and I met him in the back of his van and Home Depot parking lot good way to meet a serial killer the risks that some of these people are taking to satisfy their sexual desires if it’s honestly quite horrifying sometimes yeah I’m with you on that I would say one of the one of the creepiest scenario that I have to encounter so far in my career doing phone sex on the side is that this thing I didn’t even know it existed but he had the kind of invite me to it he had to basically prep me and you kind of give me the script ahead of time a verbally so that I would know what scenario he wanted to be kind of dropped into and in and it was the whole bug chasing thing of you heard of that already dealt with it and I mustn’t there with you on this Theodore baby thing I just want to get to 314 because Freud was all about that sexuality is actually anyting in the body that could be described as pleasurable in that begins with weather in anal repulsive or whatever that is so people just get attached to maybe don’t grow up acceptors all theories to about your whole personality being shaped by how long you’re bursting experience was whether he was a C-section or whether there was fecal matter that you were exposed to the process of blood that can determine so many things is really shaping everything that is there’s a it’s quite a bit by bit material but I honestly think that the way you’re describing is it’s like the entire Orthodox world of academic psychology and sociology if if they’re not getting PhD in this field basically studying what you’re talkin about then they have no clue because like you’re saying most people do not talk about this stuff in any other don’t then with their trusted phone sex are they all squeaky clean but I really liked on the niteflirt I remember once on the nightfort website they had kind of like a an intro little animated video clip and it’s just the kind of promote obviously the platform and kind of explain how it works what not but there was like an intro beginning to it where it showed a bus stop like a cartoon bus stop I’m just a couple of random dudes and whoever and MMA put out thought Bubbles and it was a little cartoon characters of the fantasy that they’re all thinking of separately at the bus stop and it was like all the quintessential Kink BDSM archetypes in leather and you know bondage and whatever else but it’s just like the idea that is really what’s going on if you see if we’re honest you know you could be in any crowding and everybody sort of having these thoughts for them yeah do you think that I guess you I’m curious how you would describe the sort of spectrum of you seems to be people who some people would say they don’t have anything other than vanilla you know really team like missionary romantic style pharmacies in made in that could be totally true but then there’s a whole group of people who are may be in denial or they’re fighting to suppress more homosexual or more violent or just whatever types of Tennessee’s and they may never experience it or talk about it or even like play with it much in their Fantasy Life interest people who are open and out and experiencing it in the Kink community and then there’s people who seem to be kind of release Kirsten stuck in their own world where their stuff is just running their lives and they can’t they don’t have really a healthy weight it to express that I’m just wondering if you were to just have to take a guess at the general population would save America are like helps what what ratio do you think if there is a people in different you can kind of take it however you like this what would be your if you were the Surgeon General of America and you had to be issued a report talking about the state of American fetishism and she is it we’re looking at him or you say well I don’t know about exact percentages and obviously it would be different for ladies than it is for men I do occasionally get a lady, but I get so few I can’t generalize with them as much as I can with the men because of the sheer lack of volume of women for me that I talk to but for men I would say I would say well over 70% have some kind of a you know a real king I do get ones that are just vanilla and they only want the most basic you know sex oral just very very vanilla and that’s fine I’m happy they’re very easy there’s nothing growth and talking to those guys but there’s ones that are so far off the map and I do not even cater to the more extreme ones I if if somebody’s wanting to talk about something really bad and I just don’t do it and tell him to find somebody else but some there’s definitely a lot that have a kink there is there really is and they just they can’t share it with anybody so over 70% of got some weird little fantasy and that I guess weirdness is subjective isn’t it I hear so much weirdness that may be what I would consider practically normal somebody that the civilian not in the adult industry would think oh my God that’s so weird I like her own doesn’t seem weird so I think we’re nothing normalness is all very subjective you can’t really say well the percentage of weird this percentage is kinky but there’s so many it it really surprises me how many guys that call that want to be with another guy that’s one of the top fantasy Sig I have the guys have as well as they want to talk or you don’t have a guy fuck something I’m I was shocked at that when I first started in the business that it was that widespread I mean it’s a very high percentage of collars and it’s also very high percentage of callers that are wearing ladies underwear and I never expected that I had no idea there were so many men that were wearing ladies panties under their clothes it seems pretty high from the number of guys to tell me that so those two things really stand out that are way more common than people would think yeah it’s it’s so it’s so sad in its to me and said that it’s the culture of the dominant culture so repressive it’s not just allowed to to be in body in your feminine aspect you’re coming inside in a more outspoken Republic Manor in and stole that idea that you have to hide it under your clothes and you can’t just be like hey we got Casual Friday what’s up family and Tuesday and see all kinds of measurable issues in society but you know it’s also makes me think about how the whole notion of the private citizen right to privacy and then the public officers and officials in in politicians and whatnot it’s expected that that well within reason everything that they’re all of their interest all of their past all of anything that can be dug up about their life history is fair game to scrutinize and I don’t know maybe and certainly in in more queer friendly districts like West Hollywood or the Castro I’m sure that it’s actually a selling point to your dear constituents to be a letter or something but for most of the rest of the country you would not be elected or you will be impeached her or else it is or whatever asked to resign if it were to come out that any of that any of the things you described in in in or just anything that would be considered an aberration from that vanilla whatever you would see anything beyond that would get you in deep trouble socially and politically and yet all those people who have that power they’re the ones going to the Doms and even some of the most twisted like yeah if people had any idea who exactly people would be surprised who was calling there was a chief of police that used to call me and I thought if your chief of police would you not buy a Visa gift card and just tell me your name is John Smith rather than give me your real name and your real credit card. That was the first thought in my head and he actually send me a picture of himself for his uniform and I thought are you insane do you realize the amount of embarrassment if I went rogue that I could cause you your whole Precinct to be laughing your ass off that one is one of the top ones that sticks in my mind thinking why would you be broadcasting and all I never would have known that you were you sending me pictures of yourself and you before that one really I thought was amazing it was another guy that was a district attorney in a major city and he was telling me this and I thought wow I could really cause you embarrassment if I wasn’t a trustworthy honest person and yet they’re telling you they’re real David at all this information I got all my God this is just wild it really was and there was even this very low-level celebrity oh my God I never heard of this guy but I looked up his name and I quickly found its website and mainly does direct-to-video stuff that most people wouldn’t know who it is anyway and what he wanted to talk about was so horrific that I wouldn’t do it and I don’t have a lot of limits are a lot of taboos but I have some and he was Way Beyond my limits and I thought wow buddy if your fans ever had any idea what you were into you know that they’d be with torches on your lawn I was so horrified at what this guy wanted to talk about and I thought in this is a celebrity and even though I had never heard of him somebody that had co-starred in a movie with him I certainly did know who it was cuz I watch her on a spa for all the time and I thought wow I’m sure she has no idea what her co-star is into and it just these these people to have any kind of level of being well-known and either their field of work or their Community you would think that protecting their anonymity would be of utmost importance but they really don’t seem to care so it says It’s amazing so I don’t follow Sports in anyway and he told me that he was he was wanting racial humiliation he was a black guy and I get a fair number of racial humiliation calls as well that’s one way specials it’s and he had found my website and saw that I offered this in and so he was telling me all about this so you know it was a small table wasn’t anything spectacular but I just thought wow you know if somebody follows Sports they would probably heard of this guy and here he’s calling and paying me good money to call him one racial slur after another it just says listen to me I can actually it really is so they aren’t worried about their identities or anything well yeah they make this public service announcement this is now the 21st century and there’s something called cryptocurrency and there’s ways to use VMware Anonymous step handrails and also to encrypt messages and I’m at the point now where I’m kind of going off of the Rails a bit branching out from the the platforms that take a huge cut of your earnings to provide that sort of thing at least that degree of separation with your identity and you’re just letting me within the last I’d say year 2 years has the encryption encrypted messaging app ecosystem really matured and made them user-friendly now is user-friendly enough and intuitive enough for people used on a mass scale and the Snowden Revelations have helped to accelerate the mass adoption and the development development impetus for peer-to-peer in Crypt open source technology platforms that are accessible by apps on a smartphone and then also now there’s so many different ways to do cryptocurrencies and now a stablecoin cryptocurrencies where you don’t expose people to the volatility of price fluctuation that’s a mouthful but I’m wondering if you have are you it’s apps to Tabitha like you say there’s a lot of risk and even if you did your best to not reach or allowed to be reached any of that data that you have some level of responsibility over as you conduct your business to know it’s an interesting opportunity now to to Really Leverage The Power of encrypted promises encrypting free speech of of words and of money that smell possible for people still just curious if you looked into any of that I know it’s kind of where I’m blinded I don’t even own the self to keep private insecure Issa does not use anything with high-tech and then you’ll be fine by myself I have my laptop and my corded landline so sore throat is this a cell phone because I don’t leave home that often so if I’m at the dentist or the hardware store for an hour or two I think I can afford to be out of touch with anybody for that short of a Time if it’s that important it can wait till I get back home and I’ll be able to talk to him then but I would never be doing calls out and about and I know some girls do I’ve read posts of girls doing in the aisles at Walmart and the grocery store it and I think how could you do that but hey if that’s how they want to run things that’s their business but I would not do that I wish I would not want to be doing that I was outside of my home and possibly have somebody over here me and you never know how long a collar is going to beat you. Weather is going to be 3 minutes or 3 hours you have no idea so it’s just not practical to me I would not do that so if somebody calls me I am on a corded landline in my house that’s the only place I’m ever going to be when they call but yeah all that Tech stuff is so it’s sort of a Escapes Me well if you ever have clients that want to you know I want to have you if you feel like a doll just put it out there to you I can be your your text liaison in a department is trying to be at least at least on the curb if not ahead of the curve but but certainly not is as up to speed as I can because yeah there’s a kind of feel like there’s a lot of a lot of people who are younger who mistakes with thumb how there really not having a good sense of host of keeping their identity and they’re just people are very frivolous about how much personal information they share in on internet was called it back POF plenty of wisdom and actually on that note not to go too far into the dark side but have you had any I’m sure you had some but you know what what what advice would you give note having the level experience you have about about real creepers or did you know that my make you feel let me before you have a chance with this type of mop cut them up or hang up on them if they were to get threatening or to just get weirder abusive or anything like you have any I don’t want to get all Sensational with horror stories but maybe more practical in a sense of Life what do you have a saltwater bath ready to jump into if you feel creeped out or do you have some sort of self-care and what’s the deal with the shift whether it’s creepy or not what’s a very lucky that I don’t really attract clients like that different girls attract different types of collars very much so it’s like Baskin-Robbins there’s a different flavor for everybody and I have never even come close to having any color that was stalkerish or interested in you don’t meeting or anyting I’m a very honest open direct person probably much more so would be good for I am so direct with clients if they ask me something and I’ll tell them the truth usually and other girls are more like they are there Persona they are never going to break that fourth wall to them and is a role they will never admit you know this isn’t them or whatever it says I’m just not like that and a lot of guys like that sense of reality others as sort of a bubble and they will never call you again because you’re too much reality they’re not looking for that they’re looking for Fantasy so I have never ever ever had anything remotely like that and yet I know some girls have had real problems with that very serious ones I mean the horse everyone’s and I think well maybe it’s because they’re playing this role and they’re insisting that they really are this character and it’s just all too real to the guy and I’m like oh you know that’s that’s not how it is consider more of a flooded reality so I don’t have that problem with my clients at all I’m glad to hear that that’s that’s music to my ears what would you say knowing the girls who have had that experience of living able to shake them off or what are some Clyde I honestly don’t know because they’re just running their business totally different than I am so unless they decided to move to my business model they’re going to keep having this problem I mean some of these girls will say oh I’ve got this whole back story that my character lives in such and such a place and she’s such and such an age and you know she went to this school and and she did this and that and I’m like really you go to all this trouble I might I’m just me if a guy calls I’m just me I’m not putting on any stories I say I live in Ontario Canada which is true I don’t tell them the town that I live in cuz they don’t really need to know that but I’m not making up some story about what I did or what I didn’t that that’s just not me it’s just not and yet there’s a lot of girls that they write this whole back story this like a totally separate character and if that’s how they want to do it that’s fine and I know a lot of them do that’s what they feel comfortable with they don’t want to give any real information that’s fine and I don’t give much to the ones that I do but I’m just me no matter what guy calls them if a guy says I won’t Lobby been in a gangbang recently haven’t you wanted to be not going to get what he wants because I’m too based in reality like I said some guys like that some guys don’t you want to talk about any anything you want to close with would be great or just call it a good a good first episode look forward to connecting my phone sex site is erotic Talk phone sex. Com and my erotic audio site if you want to order a custom audio is erotic audio recordings. Com some people can easily be able to contact me there if they’re interested in setting up a call well if the button says available love usually available if it says that I usually remember to set that right you can just call the number if you wanted to do a call and if you wanted to order an audio guys will email me usually with their script to get an estimate which I can do from the word count I can give them a very close estimate as to how long it will be in the price and then we go from there all right I love that will custom audio clips Galore sounds like you you’re really got this workout and it sounds like you graduated from the dependence and Reliance on 3rd party platforms and you’ve got it all sorted in house is that right on your website or how does that are you part of a network or is it all kind of have my own sci-fi I am available on many many sites that I do calls on but I only I only promote my own site because it is of or benefit to me easily if a guy comes to my own site so even though the price a guy May pay would be the same say $2 a minute which is pretty standard if he calls me through some site I might only be getting a third of that if he calls my sight I’m getting ate almost every penny of that so where do you think I’m going to direct people of course I’m I don’t even tell them what Play Time on or what names I go by or anything I only ever tell them Sheeran on a rush and that is the only place that you will find Sharon Sharon all right all right are you ready to go find her on the on that website and appreciate you again it’s been a time to be on the shoulder and a lot and look forward to next time I see you again so much and thank you so much for having me www.sprint.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition assassini and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple viper bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email ben.com namaste

Exploring Extreme Eroticism with Ayzad TPP105


Ayzad pic

In this episode I’m joined by Ayzad an exquisite scholar of all things erotic and extreme. We explore human sexuality from the affirming to the disturbing and beyond. Ultimately we find redemption and hope in the efforts of sexual liberators to create consensual, safe, and sane spaces to share experiences, knowledge and wisdom without repression.

Please visit his website at:

About Ayzad:
I was born in 1969. I am a reformed journalist, a writer, alternative sexuality educator and a personal coach. I have been practicing BDSM for 30 years now and Ayzad is the pseudonym under which in 2004 I wrote BDSM – A Guide for Explorers of Extreme Eroticism, where I collected everything I had learned from my studies of a really endless topic. That manual became a best seller starting collaborations with sexologists and scholars who drew me to extend my research to every form of unusual sexuality.

The first result was another book titled XXX – The Dictionary of Unusual Sex (currently, most of my books are available in Italian only, sorry!), followed by many other projects described within my website, including the novel Original Sins, the biography The Mistress and the guide to extreme erotic relationships I Love BDSM.

Ayzad.com was born to collect and share my daily discoveries about the lesser known aspects of sex, to have fun together and – as it always happens with these things – to better know ourselves. Enjoy.

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AI Generated Transcription:
(Want to help with corrections? Please contact me to learn about rewards for your efforts!)

Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast number 105 I’m on Skype with his Dad he is a author and kink educator and I’ve discovered his work through a list of sex bloggers and a directory and was blown away by how much of the depths of material he’s amassed on his website all about everything can’t get in BDSM and just a lot of the obscurities of the history of human sexuality and certainly the the policies and repressive tendencies that have forced a lot of a lot of human sexual expression underground and into various forms of sort of cultural resistance and so it’s obviously something that I’m very interested in tracking and seeing where where a lot of what were what we’re dealing with is coming from and understanding the origins in pain also the The Leverage points where we’re sort of from taking the power back by any means necessary so is that what you like to tell us about your background and how are you became the authority of in the Kink world that you have become very early I have always been attracted to the king even when I was still pretty sexual as a child and I like the imagery Hyatt House box to experience it as soon as I became Antilla in around the end of the century I took a sabbatical we are out of my journalistic job and I took the opportunity to write a book called BDSM guide for Express extreme eroticism which should I I felt it would just be a reference for a vacuum stairs in the in my phone, by the way I know I sound a little bit with my English and well what do you know it became a messages and emails of people thanking me for my job that’s made them feel normal saline accepted by Ciara ended I had to choose between continuing a really graceful job or be coming to Decatur and well here I am after so many years. I’ve been doing all the books I’ve become a personal coach meaning your I help people find the optimal strategy to Silver King related issues and rice to my website of course kaiser.com a YZ80 that it will thank you for doing that in and I love your accent it really adds to the Exotic flare so I appreciated everything is going to land even better it’s a thrill to to hear you speak and I have watched some of your YouTube videos and I so you had yeah you have a website that’s a Blog and you know so if you create video content and kind of curating a lot of material that can support people on their journey and also just really scholarly archivist if you will it sounds like you’ve got a lot of a lot of ability and interest to two kind of document this this these phenomena in in human cultural Evolution so do you want to talk about some of your I guess favorite topics favorite areas of exploration and expertise in and then we can go from there but I found out pretty early that’s it when you talk about sex it is really about sexy self it is mostly other aspects of The Human Experience from unusual aspects of sexuality and explore how they connect your everyday life basically science with history where the fashion religion whatever and this helps a lot in understanding the life in that no more General sense right on yeah you know there’s how would you define kink for people since you have a more vast knowledge and maybe give us a sense of the the etymology do we know really where that term came into use and why and what it say what what it originally was used to mean and in any of that sort of origin story and when people started to use this term in English I mean but generally speaking which refers to any form of meaning not the standard normal accepted to generate a lot of time to culture is prune Jawga fee as well so it’s mostly shorthand 220k to anything a little or a lot older and pleasurable yeah so interesting is it we take it for granted I feel like the from an anthropological perspective if you will it’s it’s sort of an established subculture that is very open-ended but also has certain kind of um sort of standardized memes if you will around the Dungeons and the established kind of I guess you could say I think I’ve seen a breakdown of what I don’t know how they did this research but it showed the most popular Kinks or fetishes sort of broken down in order so you can see that you know it was the list with something like I’m no group sex sex in public sex with a married person things that were taboo breaking so that they could provide it a kick or extraterrestrial that would you know add to the experience and then it gets into more more assertive idiosyncrasies around childhood issues or traumas or just more something just gets sort of stuck at some point and something in a loop and it gets wired with the the erogenous tissues in the whole experience of sexual arousal it’s gets deeply associated with an object or a environment or some some kind of space but it’s so broaden and an open-ended really it feels like you would have to the Baseline to judge what is there isn’t kinky is is going to be a moving Target across the world because there is not there is no real standard the only attempt to standardize sex has been by the Catholic church is pretty much is that right yes I know but I believe we we came to a rubber Goods definition what can be standardized on North with the DSM diagnostic manual for used by psychologists everywhere weather baraz mental issues with people or not and it’s basically turns out to be at that anything that does not create to and eustress and distress actually to yourself and the people around you is just fine no matter how strange it sounds and this is a very good guideline which SSC are ants on the study book wonderful history because when I go round and just service ask people what they are or not the subjects are usually pretty embarrassed to check just have me to watch buy a tree like is so there’s two researchers Yoder of his book and it took Ann Arbor Pro online searches for sex-related Thrones but when you cross the globe and produced a lot of different possible researchers but least of the 100 more widespread fetishes and yes I had to it’s a 2-hour resonates with the watch is considered Taboo in lots of ways and by different cultures what’s up with some very strange things into it I believe that the first search German general is you. Meaning pedophilia but just in general and the garage I’m really worried for some for water sports are very high in the list while we’re on our practice is it which one generally considered more accepted on normal RL way down right now but I can link it to you and you’re going to be well yeah I follow the the PornHub insights newsletter where they send the basically a sector analytics for the searches and they they address certain areas or certain events in this very interesting breakdown you have very insightful if you will have to understand the zeitgeist mean to the search engines metrics is the best way to measure the stuff in for anything you can use the trends. Google.com I believe that Google trans is the tool where you can compare different keyword searches overtime and kind of do your own comparisons like that so yeah I’m familiar with that I didn’t know that there was a study done that kind of intensive over a year’s time it’s great so another question I have for you is I came across this beautiful piece of work it was it was a web web interface that I can remember exactly the name of it it was something like that it looks like a pirate map but it’s like the whole map of the different types of Kings view reference at are right about that at all or it is an interesting visual representation over the intercom the deck connectedness all the kings and even then it is just a very small part of the whole lot of field when I rode to the book called XXX have a dictionary of a text which unfortunately joining two different cultures the cultural of normal people and culture of sexologists kind of removed I found in their knowledge of anything for affiliate have reached an excellent very interesting in in size about this but they just don’t choke there’s something I just got out when the talking about BDSM extreme eroticism and I invited to six ology conferences and this professionals ask me things I really couldn’t understand because I didn’t have the worst and at the same time that you don’t understand my answers because I used to terms which are considered normal SSC and so I called this kind of dictionary to help people better communicate with each other and started listing for fuel you say encountered them and I had to stop at 1:15 hundred of them had reached the end but because it was time to to go into framed and round as a matter of fact and digital edition of this book is a incredibly complex 850ml file where the something like 11,000 internal links is so hard how long did it take you to do that I deleted but it was also the coronation of loss of years of research earlier on so I collected lots of information along the way and that was a good occasion to try and make it into a coherent system wow okay well this is exciting I I just came across a scholar who who described yourself as a cultural sexologist with the as an anthropologist studying different permutations of sexuality that are across and within a cross-cultural perspective and having a sort of cultural relativism about sexual practices and taboos and whatnot and I find that feel very exciting to be able to put in context a lot of the Hang-Ups or no issues that people have let’s see in the so-called West at when you see people are struggling with just monogamy and vanilla vanilla monogamous kind of expectations to find the one soulmate and never have desires for anyone else and never cheat or look for any kind of experiences outside of that perfect together forever till death do us part. I’m and then if you look at it gets a new at work I think it’s name is Chris Ryan sex at dawn that that book that really brings a lot of cross-cultural examples of long-standing traditional societies been around for thousands of years who have Customs such as shared paternity where all of the men are few responsible to all of the children in a tribe or a village and there isn’t any kind of clothes proprietary nuclear family models that at all and so it’s really liberating in a Guiding Light to see those those you can call him first peoples or dismiss people’s or pre-agricultural or notice the number of anthropological terms did he has your research and compassed any of those let’s say with any of those Concepts non-western or indigenous or or Cincy. Graphics thing I mean the concept of them although more turn I set it at school it’s like pee not affect bone out to Romanticism Manta as a philosophical movement and before that it was just accepted that people had a much wider idea of relationships and sex and you know things just to change for time and very restless that just think for example that one in of the animal one of the first meetings all the American Congress in the United States one of the counselor went on in history cross-dressing outfits outfit and nobody found anything all day about that and it was it wasn’t so long ago then I ate everything changed everything will change as a matter of fact I just a few hours ago I I stumbled onto a very neat piece of literature about the morality of relativism all the idea of family and it wasn’t I believe the full station something but that was published it one year ago and the evolution of society and deviance everyone you know them a little sip them because I know that you are looking cute go back to the sex cave just like everybody else does what you doing you should your children should have just one father and one mother and then what is it that’s so cool in Chris Ryan’s book what he points to is this this anthropological term you could say it’s jargon like the sexologist but it’s it’s a powerful term that Fierce egalitarian ISM which basically means that it’s not just that people who were let’s say nomatic gatherer Hunters who didn’t accumulate a lot of private property and wealth and didn’t have very strong structure sartorial boundaries in the what essentially share everything out of necessity and you know you could romanticize that and say oh it’s because they were more noble Savages and they’re more virtuous which I think is generally true that’s my that’s my personal opinion but to be more at scholarly about it and they came up with the term that actually it’s more probably more accurate and you can see this in living at Niagara fees of nomadic Heather Hunter foraging people’s is that Fierce egalitarian ism is the idea that it’s not just said you know it’s nice to share things it’s that if you were hoarding things and you were not sharing things then there’s going to be a real backlash a real problem with that so it’s not that it’s not that you would extrapolate that all that means that women have no rights to their bodies and in and it’s not like Clan of the Cave Bear that you know a woman is public property to be used for Sex On Demand with no agency but rather everyone including the men would be obliged to share food sex shelter medicine skills new discoveries whatever it is it’s it’s that that sense but but what you’re describing why The Flintstones it’s it’s this cultural norm that is about not separating and taking basically inhibiting the development of an individualized you know egomania and controlling so that’s really great so that’s that that’s a new that’s a new licensed work of the franchise of The Flintstones or is that one is that something from the past an experiment in making older Hanna Barbera characters into more modern that’s what it what you want what you say is very very real and what we could divorce hearing to a politics discussion. we are actually seeing the results all the excessive bloating and capitalism right now with everything that’s happened has a way of rebelling sing itself so we’re probably right now at to one extreme about women’s rights and lack of women’s rights and disparity and will probably swing back to something more equal and even if it will take picture of several several years right right so something interesting historical phenomenon that I discovered around Kink that I’d love to see if you have any any material on Earth looked at as if there was a time I guess it was I don’t know the exact date range but it was Weimar Germany after World War where there was such Financial Devastation that this whole economy of dominatrix is kind of from became extremely prevalent and just it was probably the most I don’t guess you could say extreme or or just the most public moment in time where the sex worker economy around Kink was just flourishing but in some tightness in some ways in a very Sinister way because people just had to do what they had to do and so I don’t know there’s there’s a really negative characterizations of what was happening in her some extreme things happening that you would consider to be some of the worst human-rights violations and studied that. In that that place at all and if you have any thoughts about it and is it that the holes author of the book called voluptuous Panic which High reviews on my website by the way Witcher really goes beyond the stereotypes of the Weimar Republic and explains the Dynamics the mechanism social mechanisms behind that kind of economy that kinds all the collect Social Clubs and the rise of Nazism and let’s say it was involuntary but it became the one example MP3 of mankind where you could see what a limited access to any kind of sex any kind of can’t go do to society and it was very positive and negative and it it really cannot be summarized in them in a few phrases but everybody knows not see is a burnt books and nobody kind of remembers that the first book but burning was the library of The Institute Forest search of sexuality of Magnus hirschfeld who was the first sex ologist to study King well this is this message means a lot about the importance of a sex-positive you all the time of sex and health the point is this is really a key concept I found it in my my research in my life when you learn to question where are you you learned that being is not always bad that quality is not always better in a specific context at Mt. See other ways of interpreting your world any you started to develop a critical view of everything not just within the field of sex but then when you were here a politician at on television saying he has your best interest in mind maybe use you start questioning maybe you start questioning why saying gay people should have married or things like that and this kind of Liberty critical thinking can be very dangerous for some kind of governments and that this right now with my States of America right so you know without getting yourself in any trouble so I guess I’m curious what the what your thoughts are on the Catholic church in its I guess you would have a a very interesting you know set of insights just giving you your geography there but yes you know things are on not so easy to summarize again because it is very easy way easy to generalize different that a very wide view on how to sing but generally speaking play the Catholic church has been a victim of itself and its effects and it has grown to be a really evil force came out to just a few weeks ago cool the last and I think it is and it is a very rigorous analysis the papers the letters of the sentences of the inquiry and police work about the Catholic church and pedophilia the portrait it gives a visit of a part of this organization is a Beyond chilling it you see when you think you’re all that I need a little gas station you might be think of Spectre from the James Bond movies off of a church of course and so it is very hard to generalize but having said this again when in time mental freedom of religion Surah of the far-right see themselves as endangered and this is why I pay strike back at Freedom what is happening right now so are you now I’m glad that you brought that up because it’s very much my kind definitely doing a secrecy but it certainly my mission and in purpose in life to help people understand that repression in zep generating perpetrators of all kinds so that’s a simple truism put on what what I discovered just within the last couple years is that there is a historical fact about historical fact that there was a decision made sometime soon I think in the 1500s or don’t quote me on that I don’t have the reference it right in front of me but there was an in an exact moment where decision was made within the Catholic Church to to disallow its clergyman from reproducing and having children progeny because it was basically leaking assets out of the financial Financial the coffers of the church were basically being drained by the fact that they’re clergyman where we producing so the way to to control more of the wealth of the church was to choose to actually make a to declare that celibacy was was going to be a mandatory and that single event to my understanding is what has been has been the result of the cause the Cascade of obviously the repression and then that manifesting is the pedophilia so that’s a pretty Stark it’s mortifying people throwing your hands up in the air to try to understand what’s going on it was if this is generally accepted to be a fact then it is the greed and the lust of money that has betrayed and put in Peril and caused this horrific harm to so many children around the planet all because of this financial gain prerogative do you have any knowledge of that if I could pull it up on Wikipedia and probably make it a lot more concise and clear but I figured you might have some knowledge of that that shift that occurred in that what she described I believe the proven that has many different sources many different types of that’s Concord to creating the situation and actually sexual repression begin began and the Bible Church began around the year 1000 any organized church is a recording good organization so be seeking donations or a stool King people people people or distress people is a very good way to accumulate wealth for overtime under the point to all the church is not to be with it just teddy bear do I have been doing it for thousands of years and they will keep doing it and in the end you will have us with a situation such as unfortunately my home country where a very large part of the real estate is owned by the church and I never want to leave early influence in politics and Society I know if you know this but see your I need to leave to come on the four newspapers to have one or two pages all the church comments on the everyday facts Even Flow related in any way to religion and this is what you know again building a culture of them critical thinking is the best weapon against this beat against to any church not just a Catholic one or any kind of repressive regime just takes loss crying Willam so in that film I saw that I didn’t read the book but I did see the film of The DaVinci Code and it did that was the first time I heard that the the the term God’s Mafia and when you looking at I looked at the penitentials did you study that. Where the basically created a price sheet for every sin they could think of from every form of state so that was an important turning point in the monetization of sin and I guess you could call it a spiritual extortion because the threat of hell and Damnation is a is sort of like a an L A Street gang coming up to your taco stand and saying you’re going to pay tribute to the gang or we’re going to and will provide you protection from other gangs ID the devil and angel and demon see how it sits it interesting racquet and interesting form of extortion based on an invisible looming threat that’s completely metaphysical and and contrived you know I don’t know in but based on real real well I guess patterns of fear but this whole into spiritual intermediary that extract money from you when you send that’s quite a a business model and can you talk about your I think I don’t really understand what the Vatican is that considered to be the the headquarters of the entire the sort of the capital of the Catholic church but it’s it’s like a compound it’s a fortress it’s it’s got and username Cloud a very small one with him the city of Rome and then you probably know it’s boundary one of his boundary which is but some Peter Square What weather the great Basilica is the pope held out the window and this has allowed it to to be completely immune to any kind of control by the states surrounding it and by any of his wife were example of which are acting you into a traditional system anywhere so for example to you earlier on you see how when one police Works inquiry is it gets to the point where we’re at a guilty verdict is expected in spinal expected to just get some Buscopan protection get a citizenship and had to stay with them their title or to work as a diplomat again it would be unfair to put rate as an entirely evil organization or a you know in and it’s something that was only for a for a personal enrichment to loss of of good works there is no doubt that historically that I have done much more damage if they all want to protect students Nazi is from persecution protecting them for the travel in the States from from Justice by off the one at people at the stake literally for a circle heresy which basically and generally only man to that they were a large part of the real estate Specialists Church won’t they neck deep into this pedophilia so you know it’s very very hard for me to be benign with them but it isn’t even as simple as just a few of your sentence is a whore missing for vacation like to The Da Vinci Code Fallout version right yeah that’s a it is very complex from your studies 7th what how are the spinning this media disaster this public relations disaster of the pedophile priests what’s their I mean do they have a department that’s that’s working to have a Consultants how are they avoiding mass m agency that there could be a day where enough evidence is gathered throughout the world for a new form of some human rights violation you can call it spiritual abuse or where it’s they actually have to pay reparations for every I mean imagine there being an international class action lawsuit has some teeth where they would be forced to pay reparations to people just bear with me for a second while I I kind of try to put this into words but if it’s in any other let’s say if you were a chemical manufacturing company that distributed a product all throughout the world that and they covered up that there was mercury in the product or some controlled you know toxic degenerative substance that ended up causing people to have deformities and cancer in their teeth and hair to fall out or whatever and you had the right team of scientists and and lawyers and human rights organizations and Watchdog groups were they could actually build a case where people who had been afflicted by this this chemical product could actually stand together and claim major damages and I feel like that’s I would hope that there is some effort to organize the victims of Catholic spiritual sexual abuse and for there to be reparations and compensation on a mass scale I mean if they do that with letters sometimes from car manufacturers that say you know basically if you purchased a vehicle of this model make and model from this time frame you are now entitled to claim thousands of dollars in Damages because we got you know a class action lawsuit that you wouldn’t even heard about it so imagine just everyday everyone who’s ever been you know forced into Catholicism by any means you know they could claim yeah I was I was indoctrinated by priests you know whether or not the molesting a person her or not there’s to sort of a a corruption that is just absolutely what’s the word should be implicated at a broad-scale and I don’t know if that’s I mean I don’t know if you see that as being realistic or if there’s any effort force it and it has everything you described Easter already there are class actions International inquiries sentences but the basic difference between a car manufacturer for example and the and the church and this church particular is better, a picture is a subject to the same laws that you and I are subjected to where is it the church to its lowest only because of you know as soon as things turned bad for them as well because we have a secret tribunal and the actual did charge of the case and Demeter doubt a sentence of penance if of course the fact it is proved by us not about you and this is it’s because you know you would have to be I’m sorry you have to be oh basically you you have to be to accept the singer you. You don’t have to punish him because you know the church is about love so we love our seniors and then and that’s it again by somebody and then cooled Emiliano City party and it’s actually the the sequel to The greed which explored the financial sense of the Catholic church and I’m looking I’m looking for a John on Amazon., and I don’t think there is an English edition yet but it is feeling because one of the things you discover and the public fax is it’s not a conspiracy theory I mean I have the papers even have a special office was only purpose is to negotiate with victims of a pedophilia and other scandals by Martha and look at the letters from these are special office that when you look at the payments you find out if I generally negotiate for Sam’s which one tenth of what is civil jury people who have been ballot where you have been indoctrinated where have been just don’t have that the instrument the tools to to fight back how would you fight back an organization with hundreds of thousands of men all around the world and it unlimited Financial power to destroy you so thank you for sharing all this stuff this is I’m getting the chills right now and so sounds like the the only way I would say if there was a a human rights organized and I would consider it a form of sex trafficking if you were if the church is is especially taking disadvantaged children Morse dispar disproportionately disadvantaged children who don’t have solid families or I mean that was what came out in that spot light research at Boston Globe investigation was that it was intended to be there like any predator has the is cunning enough to go after. Pray who are relatively helpless so if that was people from you no children that are orphans or broken from broken home or don’t have the family with the solid financial means to mount a defense or even pay attention or even care it’s obviously a systematic abuse of the easily exploitable and so you would think that sex trafficking nongovernmental organizations that are working to stop sex tourism and in all these other facets of of sexual slavery and trafficking would if they were to have to go. I’m going to start researching it’s a lot more because you’ve provided some very important insights that I just was ignorant to I guess what I’m my question for you now at this point is it seems like given the lack of jurisdiction that you were saying that they’re not subject to the laws and regulations in Judicial Systems of any other Nation or state that the only way that other the devicq the countries of the victims if they were to actually resist this alien power that gives them carte blanche for abusing children sexually with very little recourse that you would have to boycott the currency from that you have to somehow mark their bills and say you know you can spend money here it would be called I know what the word is it said you would impose economic sanctions you know embargo you can’t is dairy really in Neverending Topix explain about the Texas Tech system here I need to lie where are you I basically forced by the second law states to pay a small part of your tax money to the Catholic church for example to all the negotiation between the Vatican State and and Battalion state budget before I want to do that because it would be too long by I will give you an inside a hoe by Cardinal Savannah said it no more than 5% of priests does abused minors which beside the thing that you just won what they want man but doesn’t sound that bad until you know that there are about four hundred thousand priests around so 5% is about twenty thousand of them 20,000 child rapists by the church upchurch’s onam admission which is beyond feeling well well on that summer know. I think it’d be great to wrap up with maybe some of the most hopeful and invigorating and exciting positive Horizons that that you’re you’re keeping track of in the the world of Kink and BDSM and maybe you know whatever can help us kind of counterbalance that that exploration of the evil which I mean in maybe even things where we can see positive examples of people just shedding that dog, and that indoctrination and in carving out new cultural space for sex positive expiration with immorality that comes from Community standards that are are more kinky we concentrated on the Catholic church but really those are so different organizations and school so that’s it are very sick negative and there is only one common weapon against this and it is just sharing how late is searching for knowledge and openly discussing anything sex in Notting a it’s both our way but just because it is a very interesting topic has actually I just lost all connections to our subject you just have to fix your favorite subject and go from there keeping an open mind and nourishing feeding your curiosity for for life in general I mean in the end of what was meant to be a just a quick guide became a monster of a book all about 600 pages and it was so because when I started exploring the topic in detail I started the listing that it’s a relation to science to history to art to do so many different fields including you know pretty obvious things like the history of food for example or exploration off different countries end in the end I guess what what came out was a very comprehensive guide to BDSM of course but to also a great way to so many different forms of knowledge which should Wichita explore starting point for your explorations what in the where do you recommend people go obviously there’s fetlife.com which is probably would you consider FetLife to be the the most accessible widest Network for people to join and kind of Explorer I’m not sure yeah with that there’s other resources that you recommend or the largest social network for Four Kings jersey but this doesn’t mean it is all good whenever you have access to anything you have to remember that some information might not be tried and tested to maybe it is it is it lets buys did not for malicious reasons but just because people. Don’t fact check everything there they write so well maybe you have to take it with a pinch of salt I would humbly suggest people to come over and visit to Isaac. Com a y c a d well they can find loss and lost of resources not just what I ride but there is for example a student websites and our sources for every form of knowledge of a kink in general not just and then of course there is your local community and maybe you might not find this information we have a life people is right on and you are talked about your book that you mentioned but you mentioned to me that you were wanting to talk about do you want to so maybe you want to go to close on a note saying you can download the free preview for my website and so people can get their own idea what it is about oh great. Okay so yeah we’ll put that link in the show notes for sure and yeah if you have any final closing thoughts you want to share and we could talk for a horse and a sand by the way maybe if you’re interested we can do it again come over on my website and download the previous I believe that I could do okay go to and I will put the link in the show notes to the people can go and download the so it’s an English is the English translation of the book as an e-book on Amazon awesome well I guess I’ll take a breath here in and see if there’s any you have that as well yeah they are Maria called weather UCR I’m all right got it okay yeah well I would just like to say again thank you so much and really you were and there’s there’s a place in my heart for the scholars of of people who really have found their passion to be you know you want to call it a thority in the field but certainly a powerful reference you know Alexa Khan for for all of this material and it says it’s just really refreshing and really exciting and I feel that a lot of you know I guess you could say this about any subculture or or Nitch or no cultural phenomenon is it there is there’s people who are just kind of along for the ride and that’s great you know they don’t not everybody has to be a real scholar but putting in efforts to understand things but the people who take that time to curate the information so that people have access I really appreciate that and so you’re kind of a scribe as it were for this very interesting world and you’ve been able to answer some my most my most I guess I could say deepest darkest questions if your deepest darkest questions about this and you’re also helping helping me to open my my heart because I’ve been you know in some ways I guess by Oster disappointed or I can’t I have to admit that I’ve I’ve I’ve had some pretty negative experiences in the Kink BDSM world that have have kind of discolored my attitudes towards it so I’m I’m wanting to I open my heart and be more open and accepting an m in this this definitely helps me kind of fuel and move forward you know I guess there’s just been yeah some some Shadow transgressions that I have experienced at the hands of people who probably don’t have as much respect for the art form and the lifestyle that that you do so I’m hoping that yet people can kind of get more proper education if if if that’s the right way to say it or just saying and consensual so yeah on that note I think we’ll just call that a good intro episode and for sure will we will be at this again to keep track of of developments and you don’t actually know this will be the final question so you would be Fifty Shades of Grey what what it what are your thoughts on that you could take your time to I did it I’m just I’m I feel like I’ve we’ve had a good stopping point on for more question so you can just go on with that forasmuch as long as you want and we’ll call it a day oh there it is it really a kind of one but it is that people in the community hates Fifty Shades of Grey because of course it is not about romance is Nova that’s just to update the sum of a standard Pacific General so I mean I interviewed her and she was surprised by how the marketing department of a table stress around the world that has has a construed that her books as a sort all videos a manual or something like that because she said she only wanted to update the four show is he in a romance novel you usually have there’s a powerful man who comes from a far and takes that the lady from our daily trash and meet you there a difference in a dangerous world and this is strictly as being a favor French discount with his country Castle or the pyrates the captain of the sultan but today is probably a starving Somali fisherman and of course Sultan’s are mostly associated with Isis right now Politically Incorrect she just a member of that 1% we protested against to Anthony starcevic Centre in and just by accident mr. Christian Grey was into kinky twist nice words hasn’t updated is a staple off of romance novels which she is a rape people are always in our studies that prove that over 70% of the rare representations of rape in imprinting the media are concentrated in the romance novel Chandler forced seduction Christian Grey is a stool culture is obsessed he is dangerous he is obsessive and possessive and this view the book is it really dangerous because people have associated with Fifty Shades of Grey with powerfully alluring imagery but it doesn’t the pics so you can post I believe that correlates each publishing a book with a rare spike or 20% more accidents in your own related to to Kink music Ventures because you have to didn’t go to the ER and all the damages psychological Nature Coast by amateurs for online corn Buck should virgins and the luck of education is dangerous because people just as big as a habit of considering a sex and sexuality as it separated from him quotes real life Dante stop disregarding basic things like Elsa and Anna song and it is very dangerous and should really get information about Kingdom sex in general I always say it is better to have knowledge and choose not to use it and need knowledge not knowing where to get but and said this I believe that has a very big marriage which is to have shown the general population but uncommon forms of sex I’m not that bad after all our acceptable people can be good people can be happy anyway even if they are into bondage Alex and this is very good because a lot of prejudice is a better Siri right well that was a sobering analysis and I I’ve been a very that was absurd of absorbed by osmosis that there is a sense of detail station around it and I’ve just avoided it myself it’s I’ve got too busy with other things so I rely on I link a few of my articles about that you’re listening to make up your mind about that. Thank you for these topics and will definitely be in touch again and and explore future developments together all right take care have a great day. Please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the shop in addition of sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com Thomas Day

Sex, Erotica, Fetish, and Disability with Leandra Vane TPP103


Leandra Vane PicIn this episode I am blessed to explore an array of topics that are often marginalized and poorly understood. Leandra talks about how her life as a disabled librarian in a sex negative local culture catalyzed her journey to become an influential erotica writer and blogger. We explore myths and misconceptions, sex positive activism,  the growth of independent and diverse voices within the sex positive movement, multi-media marketing strategies, indy fetish porn and much more. She also reads a bit of her writing which is an exquisite gift.

Please visit her blog at:

About Leandra:
Leandra Vane is a sexuality writer and speaker. She writes about sexuality and relationships from the perspective of a visibly disabled, polyamorous kinky woman. Her fiction has been published in numerous erotica anthologies and her sexuality memoir is entitled “Trophy Wife: Sexuality. Disability. Femininity.” She is currently working on a second sexuality memoir about her experience as a female fetishist. She is a Certified Public Librarian and holds a Bachelor’s degree in language arts with a psychology minor. She writes a sexuality book review blog entitled The Unlaced Librarian.

AI Generated Transcription:
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast episode number 103 I am talking with the unlaced librarian SX block and erotica writer who has the a Blog at the Unleashed librarian. Blogspot.com and I was just browsing the the block website lots of interesting to see an original topics and wanted to invite her to be on the touch of fun podcast to talk about that space that she’s writing in an in kind of help inform us more about the world of sex plugging in an erotica writing and more so with that would you please to introduce yourself and tell us a bit about how you arrived at this point in your life as a sex blogger Turn Me On yeah my name is Leandra vein and I’ve been writing my blog the unlace librarian since 2013 and the the sex blog and the blogging and the sex writing really was a complete turning point for myself in my sexuality in my life up until that point before I started writing my blog I was very interested in sexuality I was very interested in relationships but because of start of the environment that I lived in and the body that I lived in because I’m a physically disabled person I wasn’t really allowed to have an outlet for sexuality I kept a lot of that secret and so I followed text logs and secret I read lots of sex books and secret I read lots of erotica and secret but as far as my own writing and interacting with the people that I wanted to interact with and doing the things that I wanted to do I had really kept that Under Wraps I’d kept it away from a lot of people because I didn’t feel like they would approve of that and so when I started writing the blog it was basically a breaking point for me I was tentatively trying to put more embodiment and sexuality into my own writing and somebody that I knew found out about it and they were just irate and they told me that they’d lost a lot of respect for me they couldn’t believe I would write this stuff then so I was feeling very upset about that and I was outside on my patio and I just kind of left it this empty chair across the table and I saw all of the pieces of myself that I had put off that I had censored and sitting across from me was like a happy version of myself and I knew that I’d cut off so much of my own identity in my own expression trying to make other people happy that I couldn’t keep doing that and I wanted to be that person that I saw across the table so that afternoon is when I launched my blog because I’ve been thinking about it for a long time and when I started writing my first collection of erotica so I can actually say now thinking about this I think it’s the first time I’ve said this out loud but since that time in 2013 I can really say that I am that person now I’ve been able to connect with so many amazing people I’ve been able to untangle so many things about myself and connect with people and that I really am happy now and I can live a more authentic life that I can be real with the people that I care about that I love and that they aren’t just loving somebody that I’m pretending to be that they’re actually knowing the real me and I’m doing the work that I want to be doing so beautiful it is such a touching story of empowerment transformation through the power of the internet just find your tribe just by posting content and so how did the how does your mark at the block or how do people what was the sort of thumb processive of it growing and becoming I’m significant to other folks you know in secret so I really started doing book reviews because even though a lot of people maybe if you read a textbook you’re not necessarily going to review it or tell us people about it you’re kind of going to keep that secret so this was a really interesting platform for me to talk about sex without being too I guess in people’s faces it was just like here I’m doing this book and if you’re interested in this you should read it so that was a really interesting way to connect with people because I could recommend books and I could take the sex positivity into this sort of vanilla space which was like a library and talk about things like you know censorship and intellectual freedom and information access because a lot of people if they don’t have access to good sex education the library is going to be a place that we need to to put resources in and give people access to that so I kind of started by doing book reviews and doing talks at libraries and colleges and sort of worked my way up into then sharing my own story I talked about being a unisex instability cuz I’m a disabled person and also BDSM open relationship fetishes sexual fantasy so I really like that I kind of started that foundation with books and sharing books and giving people kind of that safe place in between the pages of a book to explore their own sexuality in a way that’s that’s kind of safe and maybe a little bit more quiet then maybe some other people to be comfortable with so that’s really kind of how I started connecting with other people and then writing my own books and letting people read them in a place where they’re comfortable wow that’s exactly it’s really interesting I’ve always felt that if you just had the right map at the library to where the sequence of books to find and put together you could really do the most subversive radical transformative work it’s it’s really all there it’s it’s almost like there’s no excuse to feel like we’re limited because you’re you’re a living example of what a little bit of Ingenuity and creativity can result in so that’s exciting and I applied that and I think I think a lot of people have some form of a library fetish as well so I’m just curious. Have you encountered that as a librarian other people’s librarian fetish what do interesting actually because there’s sort of the pop culture stereotype of the sexy librarian and haven’t worked at a library I can tell you I’ve had to kick people out because they were like making out or trying to have sex in the stacks I don’t know what it is about that energy and I guess the sapiosexuality like this I think there’s also something that’s very forbidden I mean I know everything from kids sneaking comic books behind their parents backs two people reading the the paper box with the bodice in a rivers in the the cleavage in the Fabio hair they feel it’s kind of like naughty or secretive I think there’s just this kind of deviance that comes with with reading what you want to read and there’s a danger in knowledge there’s sort of always been this policing of of knowledge and information and there we you know where we draw the line between what is useful information and what is just perverse or what is just insane when really it’s all philosophy and that’s why people are so scared of it sometime so yeah I think it’s just a great environment for people to push the limits of themselves and I think a lot of people find that really sexy yeah certainly a taboo to be wild and free and making a an erotic Rocket City Library so that reminds me that I don’t know exactly when it was but I think it was kind of a big viral social media event where I think she was a college student and she was a web she was doing webcamming and she I believe she did a webcam broadcast of probably masturbation or playing with a toy or something at I think it was her College library and it was captured on film or something so somehow it was leaked and then she got I think she got kicked out of school but it launched her porn career about that but I can tell you that if you are going to try to do something like that like that the library has security cameras but they do have blind spot so if you have an Insider I can tell you where those blind spots are that would probably find that information out endorsement of any illegal activity but certainly interesting case studies for sure do you want to talk about I’m very curious this will be the first time I’ve had the opportunity to explore sex and disability on the show and I feel like the the entry point that I have felt most I guess engaged with or her passion about is is the argument that there’s places in the world where it’s it’s difficult to criminalize sex work especially when the sex workers are providing services for disabled people who would otherwise have limited well because of cultural stigma and I’m sure all the things that you can Enlighten us much more about you know that I know very little about it’s just the people are marginalized and there’s yeah there’s a lot that so I don’t even know what the word is that you would use for so-called able Able Body people who just ignorant to an end and cognizant of this sector of sexuality so please I vow means whatever extent you’re comfortable sharing I’d love to know what what we can be doing to be allies in in all shapes and forms and abilities really really important to me and was really impactful to me because when I was growing up I could have came from the background of a lot of sex negativity so when I first went into college and I was sort of exploring sexuality and I heard about you know in different countries and end in America people with disabilities or disabled people wanting to hire sex worker I was really pissed off I was like I was saying it was like people were saying like you’re not good enough to have real sex and when I kind of monster untangle all that sex negativity I realize that while that is a really sex negative way to look at things and when I look at how we consume a lot of sexual media we kind of give a hierarchy to certain sexual Outlets so I suppose in theory the the most valuable quote-unquote valuable type of sex is a monogamous sexual relationship so you’re having sex with a lifetime partner but other types of sexuality if you have kinky sex if you have fetish sex if you have sex with multiple partners if you have solo sex if you consume pornography if you consume erotica it’s less than and I have noticed that certain people will be kind of segregated into categories like oh that guy can’t get a date so sure he can watch porn or that person is a fetishist so they don’t want real sex so they can watch porn or that person’s disabled nobody wants to have sex with them so they can watch porn but nobody else can watch for it support his bad so in my view we need to give respect and we need to give value to all sexual Outlets that we have that a lot of people will like stigmatized for example pornography and erotica fetish and also Lake in my open relationship polyamory and stuff like that people kind of say well you know you’re only settling to have an open relationship because you can’t have them and that’s not true at all my monogamous relationship grew into an open relationship so I think that you know we kind of talked about sex and disability I was kind of desegregated thing but if you look at sexuality overall we’re going to see these places where we stigmatized certain groups of people and we stigmatized certain sexual Outlets so if we can start putting value and respect on these different sexual Outlets I think that’s not just going to help disabled people but also lots of people in all walks of life in all spectrum of our sexualities have better relationships and have a more healthier outlook on their sexuality that’s going to help them make better decisions it’s going to help him treat their Partners better it’s going to help them understand their own emotions and their own motivations better and overall I think that’s a really good thing but no it’s all tied together and embodiment and what we think is is the right way to do things and once you start entangling that you realize you can really send those things and that we really have a lot more in common with a lot of people than what we think we do I suppose that’s the first time I’ve been given that sort of tool to look at how sex negativity really functions it is that hierarchy of self-righteous described in and yeah I really think it’s a disability to D6 negative yeah so do you want can you talk about your experiences they have you found other disabled folks that have gravitated towards you or your sort of making new blog posts in and just doing Outreach in that space yeah I think I had a target audience I was saying I’m going to write up a poster I’m going to say this or do that and I can kind of expect who’s going to consume it or who’s going to get back with me on it and nine times out of 10 now it’s the complete opposite person I’m finding that when I talk about one thing I talked about like fetish I’ll have somebody from a different group say I really relate to this so what I find most interesting is so I have made connections with with people with disabilities and things like that where we were late to to these particular thing I’ve also connected with people that are completely different from me for example I actually have lots of able-bodied men straight men and I’m a queer disabled female so it’s it’s interesting for me I guess what I’m finding is that I have no idea who I’m talking to most of the time but people are finding Connections in that and so I think that’s really cool and so do you order some of the other areas of focus that you have for your blog find recently. BDSM BDSM and fetish Expos go hand-in-hand quite a lot and there’s a lot of overlap in polyamory and be at them so they are their own separate things as well what have you learned in the processor how have you since you started out as you know your own sometimes I guess you can feel like a voice in the wilderness I don’t know if that’s how you felt exactly when you started but now how many egg is how many years have you been going in and what are some of the highlights of the things you feel like you’ve learned in the process I feel like I was in the wilderness I live in the midwest so finding Community was really difficult but the internet of course was a really big part in in helping to fill that but one of the things I think that’s most interesting is the impact that I’ve had locally with people that I actually know or who I have met or I have come in contact with I think that it’s great that I’ve connected with people all over the country and I think it’s it’s great I love going to conferences I love talking it at colleges and stuff like that and meeting people but it’s really interesting sue for me how my relationships with people that I’ve known for many years has changed because now they have permission to tell their secrets they have permission to let their guard down and let me see who they really are so a lot of the conversations that I’ve had about sex and embodiment with my own friends and family has just changed completely since I started doing this so for me that was a really big and interesting thing another thing was that you know I really just found out like how I’m not alone I used to think that like I have to be one of the only people that does this or feel this way and a finding that there’s lots of people that that do and I’m finding it a great community in the sex positive in the BDSM community so I’m really grateful for that because we all continue to learn from each other and I just feel like I continue to grow because I met these people so that’s really great cool and you were mentioning that you do erotica fiction and nonfiction writing is that right can you talk a bit about what you probably still far sexuality disability femininity and I’m working on a second edition of that because since I published it I’ve learned a lot of things and so I feel like I need to update it a little bit and I’m also working out the second sex no more specifically about my identity as a female fetishes so that’s been kind of tough because I feel by fetish identity is the one that I’ve come to sort of last I made peace with the fact that I’m in an open relationship but I’m in in the BDSM community and lots of other things but the fact that I have a fetish it was really difficult for me so I working on that fiction wise I’m really interested in writing multi-partner romances so most of my romance is have more than one partner and most of my romances teacher at least one if not more disabled characters so those are two things that are really important to me and that’s something that I want to bring forth in my fiction well that’s very exciting because I feel that there’s got to be more popular media eventually it’ll make its way into the mainstream but I feel like we’re the New Jersey desperate need for alternative relationships tiles to be more accessible for people to discover I would say earlier in life so that they don’t become molded into you know the nuclear family patriarchal Dino King of the house man of the house that that hold system that I don’t know if you know what your politics are exactly you know but I can kind of I’ll speak for myself you know saying that I’m really looking forward to seeing more I mean I guess I also would there were a lot of children’s books that came out to support same-sex parents same-sex adoption of foster parents or adoptive parents said that that was a whole sort of from educational propaganda campaign by the queer movement to make sure that there were resources that would normalize same-sex couple households with children in a raising children so I’m wondering do you have any sense of how if there are other writers who are obviously you know you’re right you know you’re not writing children’s books but just you know what whatever age appropriate content is is out there and wondering if you are aware of resources that will be good to sort of even if it’s a couple you know a married couple that have been together for years like hey here’s this novel I got you for Christmas for your birthday and when you’re going to read it and you’re going to maybe want to go to a swingers party or so sing and you know try something out if ya please educate and inform us if you can yeah well Def Market there’s lots of book being published considering same-sex parenting and same-sex parents and lots of inclusion as far as be gay when you’re young teenager and things like that the office of intellectual Freedom actually publishes list of books that are challenged and I think over half of them for this year have to do with some sort of lgbtq issue so I think that’s very telling but we’re we’re really fortunate here in any knighted states to have a strong Library a public library system and we have places like the office of intellectual Freedom that will help libraries when they come across these things like books being challenged and these kind of social issues so I would really encourage people to look up the office Freedom they have a Blog they published in Wauchula Freedom news so every week you can sign up for newsletter that we’ll talk about books that have been challenged or just different issues and internet access and a lot of that overlaps with with sexuality as far as novels and things that represent different diverse voices with a self-publishing market that’s happened and the independent presses that are popping up there is definitely a lot more inclusion of all sorts of different Dynamic all sorts of different sexualities and by identities the problem with it though is that it’s it’s hard to find author’s it’s really difficult to find each other we’re kind of in this this very I don’t want to stay over saturated but definitely it’s it’s hard to amplify voice is so if you find an artist or a writer that you really like please do everything you can to share them request copies of their books at your library review their books share their books on social media give copies of their books to people that you think will want to read them because that is is going to be so important for any self-published author and I would say that there are more people that are going to be riding this kind of stuff in the self-published OR independently published Market because mainstream market especially for adults aren’t there yet at all so the ways that we’re going to get these books into libraries and into the hands of people as we have to do it ourselves so right on ya you something just came to me as you’re saying that which is I don’t know what you know how this would work business-wise I’m sure it could be figured out but you know I’m actually working on I’ve got like four hundred pages of pretty raw material that I will eventually be putting into a book for him and I’m just looking at all the crowd source and self-publishing and crowdsourcing funding and even crowdsourcing editing and really kind of leveraging a fanbase to help get things pillow you no help to get everything publish music videos books everything like you know all creative content and I just had this Vision as you were talking about an author sort of incentivizing their true fans to become resellers to become affiliate Sivan of their of their book of both online if you don’t have a link where they get a kickback for mentioning it you know in an email blast or put a banner on their website but also just having a box of the books you like my book caretaker box I’ll give you a name for half price and you can keep you know half of the profits and just you know I think I’ve never thought of anyone actually doing that just taking a book that they absolutely love and having a box of them like him up so I’m I don’t know yet it’s just that just came up for me but yeah how do you do you want to talk about your strategy for publishing wait like I’m going to get an agent and I’m going to go to the traditional route and I will edit a piece to death as long as it gets published I don’t care like I had no Integrity about anyting but since I’ve kind of come down out of that ego trip and realized that basically the mainstream market is really not interested in anything I have to say and I’m not saying that as an insult because the story that I had to tell I mean if you put the things that I’m all about multi-partner disabled paranormal stuff that’s a Venn diagram that nobody wants to see the people that want to read what I have soup to write are small But Mighty and I would rather concentrate on meeting people face to face in real breathing time that we have a connection with rather than kind of light putting it out all on the internet and hashtagging everything to death even though I am on Twitter and I do hashtag my fair share of things but you know I have just really kind of developed a very simple strategy I write a book I edit it I take care of it as best as I can and I publish it myself I’m one person living in the midwest putting my stuff out there and I’ve been very fortunate in the few years that I’ve been doing this too and made so many wonderful connections to people that truly care about my work and that I truly care about their work so I’m just going to keep doing that it works for me for now and I’m more than happy with that and I’ve got I think the last time I counted I had 17 titles that I have outlined so I’ll be busy for a while writing and I’m good with that but I really I have no I have no big masterful grand plan I’m just I’m just writing and putting it out there so refreshing to hear actually I listen to the my music on CD Baby and they have a podcast for independent musicians and it’s all you know tactics and strategies and advice and on almost some some therapy for a struggling independent artist in the in one of their believe they have like an annual annual conference Gathering and I think it was one of their workshops or keynote speeches were where one of the guys said you know you need to get over something like you need to get over social media shame that there’s this burden when you see other people rise to the the cream Rises and the few nights like this never-ending to me it’s a nightmare just witnessing this type of verity contest and the the things people have to do to keep up with the Joneses on social media and it can be just a real psychological disorder so to be able to be content and focus more on developing a local real face-to-face audience I mean open mics and come to mind and yeah I’m really really glad to hear that there’s sick it seems like it’s a it’s like homesteading for artists going back to the land was going back to the the open mic and and being content with face-to-face real human relationships that’s I’m not there yet I’m still addicted to the 5th the game I’m not going to say that I’m completely out of the game if I if I were I just be in my basement not telling anybody about it but I tell people about it but yeah it’s a good balance yeah I’m sure we’ll find that balance but I am glad you kind of mentioned that don’t forget about getting out there and actually meeting people and you know being present yeah impacting people so that’s That’s so exciting a trophy wife like I said I’m working on getting a second edition out hopefully this summer sorry I’m looking for everybody take bus some deep breaths and get one hand free make it concise but it might be a couple minutes so please take your time we got plenty of time what do you think about when you think of 1920s America Fox trotting and alcohol roadsters and Beads gangsters and free-spirited Flappers am I construction of American History this is the picture I had painted in my head to reference the Jazz Age social upheaval and mass consumerism new technologies and new ways to do our bodies and our mine a nonstop party roared across tarnation from 1920 through 1929 or so I imagined when I was working as a library clerk one of my task was to answer genealogy request that have been sent to the library binding obituaries and marriage or birth announcements from as early as 1867 and as late as yesterday we’re particularly sticky research project at the library I needed to read through three months of my hometown newspaper from the year 1924 the picture these papers painted of the 1920s was entirely different from the one in my head rather than an eccentric celebration of change and a Zeal for social reform the articles read more like War journalism the Enemy being short haired women at Lazy layabout men at the movies more so than any era I’ve perused the opinions and the Articles were mostly focused on battling social trends one city official decry the state of women being ruined by independent Fox trotting and frivolous dress while young men were ignorant and superficial he complained that upper education universities and colleges we’re not producing great minds but creating a culture of the shallow know-it-all he was not prepared for any real work or trade young women were Thoughtless and unfit to be wives but the young men were not looking to marry good women he ended with a morning of morality and feared the world would never see a day of wholesome living like the way when he was raised it seems my vision of the nation as a laid-back knowledgeable Beacon of light had found a dark spot my hometown nearly 100 years later in 2015 a woman from a small town in Nebraska announced she was doing every homosexual in the world her motive for legal action was to take her case before a judge to have homosexuality is legally defined as a sin the case was dismissed but not before the story made national headlines the story was shared by many on my sex positive social network this incident happened to be right about the month and a half after the religious freedom restoration Act was signed into law in Indiana at the time media and social networks around the country spewed hate and disgust or the entire State fuck Indiana was the primary sentiment as far as I could tell and take Nebraska with you was the theme in the weeks following the story of that crazy bigoted woman from Nebraska now as a neat as easy as it might be on the census to assume that everyone in the 1920s was a flapper and everyone in Nebraska is trying to sue all homosexuals this simply is not true between the radicals and the traditionalist are everyone else and Nebraska is no different I am one of almost two million people who called Nebraska home last time I checked those who consider themselves religious forces those who don’t in my state is split 50-50 yes certain viewpoints are dominant foot the pervasive and unhealthy views of sex and relationships are not limited to religion nor to Nebraska just ask Ashley Madison I am a Nebraskan the Prairie the Midwest the Heartland is my home home is funnel cakes and the county fair home is where the Deep Purple and fuschia Sunset hold you like a song home is where the fireflies flicker on a backdrop of green grass in summer heat home is where you Traverse old overgrown Trails snag with forgotten barbed wire and metals just to find the perfect clearing to watch fireworks in the human July 9th home is where you take my fingers into the sun warmed by the soil of my garden home is where I go to keep clubs and respects books on Sunday home is where I sit with my friends at cafes and we laugh and we cry home is where I learned to speak with my hands and discovered what it felt like to be lied to home has heartbreak and lust lost and frustration home is library cards and raking leaves and summertime cookouts home is a small town with brick streets and wooden bridges home is all the picnic table sidewalks and see windows and bodies that gained our touch it’s surprising how long are fingertips Linger on silverware gasoline pumps High School bleachers park benches passed jobs old habits for State garage basement back seats in back bedroom voting by slipping inside among with cigarette smoke Fresh Life blooms on the topsoil of a former life that people forgot or forgave the Pioneers broke this wild land with the sweat and blood and we’ll of their bodies I wonder when the generations that followed lost touch no not everyone was a flapper in 1924 but there are still some of us in Nebraska if you care to believe it to these I raise my glass here’s the next 100 years well I want to clap but it would probably pick the audio so I’m going to just give you an Eric Clapton wow it’s been a long time since I’ve given literature my undivided attention when I read my stuff so I’m like shaking oh no it’s wonderful yeah thank you so much as beautiful I just wish I could press pause on everything so that I could enjoy books the way I used to it’s so much multitasking and I called hyper testing really so many tabs up and apps running and you know I just I hope I can pretty much only consume text to podcasts and sometimes you know PDFs but yeah praying that I will get it to go on vacation and catch up on all of this while so do you you must have really been I mean you can have you always been like a burp a bookworm as it’s as they say or have you ever been on this craft bite by reading a lot I would assume or oh yeah yeah ever since I was really really small I’ve always loved books but I I really kind of actually tie that directly to my experience with my disability because I spent a lot of my time when I was a very young child and it cast so like I had body cast that I cast them both my legs so I learned to read because of the things people wrote on my cast and so when I was a kid you know I had surgeries and I couldn’t go play outside with the other kids and so I would stay inside and read and that was really how I basically experience allowed to go live life out of the playground so I live the life of these characters and things like that so for a long time I actually related more to people in books and stories than I did to real people but I’m coming out slowly again thank you so much and I feel like maybe another topic we can explore bits we have some more time as you were concerns feelings thoughts opinions that critiques of porn and whatever comes up for you around that term it’s it’s become a deep study of mine and I’m always curious what what people are getting into on that subject oh yeah porn is I I like talking about for a lot too because it was such a big deal for myself once again coming from that background I just Associated photography with a lot of really horrible things and in the end it’s because it showcases a lot of our insecurities it blurs the lines of monogamy it shows us things that were we’re scared about when it comes to expressing or sexual expressing our fantasies in the way it’s kind of like the golden key doors Ikea somebody knows what turns you on that’s a lot of control and so there’s a lot of fear and paranoia and anger and hatred around it and I totally understand that but at the same time it’s everywhere I mean I hand over heart no absolutely no one who is not at one time or another had a conflict but I also think that we have all the technology we have all of this ability to connect to each other and talk about philosophy and talk about things like you know consent and that we we need to have an open dialogue about sexuality and pornography has to be a part of that and I think that there are things that we can do to make ethical foreign there are things that we can do to basically take the the fears and anxieties and the actual problems that people do have with corn and fix them just banding it just telling people did not watch it isn’t going to work so I do like to talk with people about pornography and sexual fantasy overall I feel that prography kind of has the the Cornerstone on the sexual fantasy Market when you say sexual fantasy most people automatically assume pornography so I would like people to be more in touch with their sexual fantasies and be able to sort of be more comfortable with them and I think intern we’re going to be seeing a lot more diverse horn horn that maybe you know showcases things that have not been showcased before and but if I did all needs we all need that we need to start talking about it I mean it needs to be in sex education you know as a fetishist myself it was so weird to not only not be able to have a conversation about pornography but then I’m watching this really weird porn so I feel even worse about that but I mean it it starts it starts really young we see all the sexual images and stuff like that like we it’s going to get into your head and if you don’t allow it to have a healthy Outlet it’s going to start you know turning into something that the dark secret and when something gets put underground that’s when that’s really bad things happened so don’t know if I’m making any sense but yeah this is this is you know the most the nearest and dearest thing to my heart because you know I’ve said this before in the past and not to to be the turd in the Punchbowl but I was used in child pronography and now I’m making conscious feminist porn to show people how to be you know practice sacred sexuality the way that I’ve been trained to Tantra and it’s been my my Saving Grace you know to come full circle into I actually want to go back to the people who abused me if I can find it any of them and actually Enlighten them sexually with what I have discovered through my path of personal sexual spiritual healing and development and now I feel like the the irony or the Paradox is that the the most treacherous slippery slope of pouring and its potential to be this very exploited to very negative actually win I don’t want to say done right or properly because then they can get more realistic but you know there’s a potential for it to just destroy sexual repression I mean the the church is having a really hard time and everything is coming back to bite them in the ass so yeah it makes a lot of sense that we’re we’re now the Genie’s out of the bottle you know so me this is the hardest issue or a conundrum for now it’s the entire Globe the entire Internet connected Globe has got to decide if porn is going to be accessible in whatever format it’s it’s being produced and then they’re going to have to make porn for their parishes if they want to compete with the influence of it they can’t just be in denial about it just like they can’t be in denial about sex and masturbation and everything else so that’s the that the final frontier is when they actually I mean they’ve done everything else they’ve had Christian death metal bands they’ve had Christian skateparks you know they know people who are deeply involved in undercover Christian I’m going to go into the satanic cult and convert them from within okay well it’s going to pour in and show people how Christ how would Jesus do it you know tell us should I get some of that actually exist but positivity you don’t have a you either have to yeah you got to take a side I guess you but you can’t be neutral because you can’t be in denial so what you said with your story you know cuz you know there’s there’s disability fetish it’s out there and support of coming to terms with my own with my own fetish was was accepting that their disability fetishists in the thing is is that you know that often the disability fetish it sort of painted as automatically being the the perpetrators and people disabilities are automatically but if you if you kind of take a step back and say okay like this is the way that it hurts people but we can do it in a way that there aren’t any victims on either side like this is the direction that we need to move it and that’s very difficult it’s tied to our bodies and it’s tied to two things like actual you know victimhood and actual people hurting each other but instead of using that as a sound bite as exploiting people who have been abused just to get your way and Bandit me to actually listen to these people and say okay you know how can we do this in a way that is understanding and consent-based and basically remove shame for a lot more people so that the abuse doesn’t continue to happen well yeah I was saying you know what I’d like to to hear you talk more about what you considered to be a healthy and obviously we’re not trying to be dictators into set one way for everybody on anything but I definitely feel that yeah you would be a good person to talk about have you is is there sort of ethical disability fetish porn is there you know his that something that needs to be developed as an as it needs you know or does it is there a market for it is our a pronoun or porn Studios serving that market or feminist porn people stepping up in that way what would you say what’s the call to action if people are out there and they want to support you through you know whatever means a few different levels to this on one level in the Kink Community you have people who are disabled for example I am disabled and I have no problem playing with my disability as an element in a scene if it’s negotiated and if you know as much as the other person and I think in in the Kink Community when you’re doing that one-on-one and people are kind of producing their own images and their own videos but they’re not getting paid for them they’re just kind of like doing it I see that happening quite a lot as far as like things that people can buy I know there are disabled performers that put light clips for sale or have websites and things like that that cater to it but I also know that there are disabled performers who would prefer not to perform for disability fetish just for say they want to be a poor performer they want to perform erotic Lee but their target market is definitely not a disability fetishes and unfortunately I think there’s not enough performers or companies serving this Market because people still do still pictures of people that have no idea that their pictures are being taken or recording them walking or using a wheelchair when they don’t know about it and some of that could be because they don’t want to watch porn clip they want the thrill of it being the real real experienced a real person so there’s like a lot of psychology in it as well but I also think that automatically shaming people for having a disability fetish only adds fuel to that fire because if they’re like okay if I try to get the poor and ethically or if I try to negotiate a scene with somebody but they’re going to hate me just as much as if I still pictures I might as well just still pictures and it’s not something that I’ve gotten into extensively I know that there are people that probably know more about it than I do but it is something that I’m interested in seeing as I went from being so completely against using my disability in any sort of sexual way to you now being very comfortable with it to the point that I do play with it and kink but I definitely think that but yeah it is a very it’s a very emotional and a very psychological sort of thing we got going on with that because you’re going to have people saying like oh it’s it’s it’s a mental illness to be attracted to somebody with the disability but why is that a mental illness is people with disabilities are people and these are our bodies and we are sexual so yeah it’s it’s a it’s a can of worms but I think that we can make us a GoPro and I think it’s just going to be though taking away a lot of that shame around the disabled body and around fetishes and general please forgive me if I don’t use the you know the the most evolved terminology or I don’t have the right you know I like it it’s there are whether it’s diet or political politics or there’s there’s people out there who will Who will beat you over the head with their protest sign and I will just stay for from the beginning that I consider myself pretty ignorant at this is not this is not an issue that has been close enough to home for me to have to be really educated in and lighting around however so I guess I’m not asking for a hall pass on you know you can you can hit me over the head with this protest sign if if if I need it but yeah with that prophesy I feel like there is a there is a let’s maybe call it a an archetypal Mythos around the the person would say the blind or deaf person or the physically disabled person in a wheelchair and and the ability to pay for the so I guess I’m just speaking archetypally in this news of Mystique around how I’ve observed in popular culture let’s say in whatever storytelling that I have consumed in my life that there is a Mystique around how a person who is the underdog who isn’t probably going to win the beauty contest or the you know be the prom king or queen or whatever it is the person who doesn’t develop a or doesn’t develop this this hunger to play the game of egotistical narcissistic you know being the the Rockstar whatever and that they actually develop character and skills in our more Soulful and more compassionate and that the virtuous person who can feel that love has a context to compare that level of authentic love to those shallow fake people who are out there trying to achieve shallow ends and to be respected and honored and put on a pedestal for the wrong reasons. Is that a myth that should be busted or how do you feel about that and has an erotic writer is that where did where would you take that that sort of what you call it that Motif because it’s definitely out there you know there’s a fine line with any sort of with any sort of when you’re ready and disabled character because yeah I like it if you’re just doing it to feel good like oh it’s like the oh who is Charles Dickens character Little Tim or Tiny Toon you’re he’s like the second coming of Christ because he has a limp you know and I think that’s very self-serving toward a sort of the I guess ignorant standpoint on disability but I’m not going to say that when I write disabled characters even when I look you know upon my own life if I got everything that I wanted I wouldn’t be here I would still be trying to keep everything hidden I’d still be trying to keep up my massage one of the reasons that I am a sex blogger at the sex writer and I can’t do all this shit that I want to and I’m happy is because Society won’t let me when let me pretend to be an able-bodied person every time I was like no I’m an able-bodied person on a sexual being and I find them to like you’re so disabled and you don’t fit in go away so fine I was like fuck it all like I’ll just hang out over here and you know you do cultivate inside empathy and you do learn from that but at the same time there’s plenty of people and I’m sure you know you probably know somebody might not be disability but they go through hell and back and they don’t learn anything there still striving toward that egotistical thing or they’re still just like trying to stuff themselves up with with fake things and their experience in life is is kind of wasted and it’s the same with this disability so I think when when you’re writing any character you know it if it’s not a fully-realized character at the crap character with her disabled or not so if this if the person disability is the reason that they’re their culture dating this inside and empathy in this sort of unwavering will do to get things done and things like that you better have a damn good reason that they’re doing that that’s not just a disability I mean it’s who they are as a person and all of the other things that has built up in their life that are impacting the way that they do things because people reacting so many different ways I know people who are very bitter and angry and pissed off and not in a way that’s that’s that’s against healthy cuz I think that being bitter and pissed off and angry can be healthy in certain ways if it’s getting you to do something if it’s if it’s lighting your fire is it you know motivating you but if it’s just turning into something that’s wicked something that’s cruel something that’s that’s low and just a black hole of nothing then that’s not good either so yeah it’s a fine line but you know disabled people their experiences are any different from anybody else in their experiences when when it comes to these things none of us are normal we all have things that were super embarrassed about we all have things that we would rather not bring out to the light and it really comes down to who you are and a lot of different factors to whether you’re going to stand up to that or not beautiful yeah that help thank you for helping him get the dress stereotypes and bring more just Consciousness and awareness and I’m scared of cereal that we’ve got to have this conversation and we’re about to at the hour or so I’m wondering if you have if you want to plug your website again and if you have any closing words you want to share and just that what what what would you like people to to do to connect with you until 2 to follow up in and stay in touch I sure you can check out my blog the unlaced librarian. Blogspot.com I do have a YouTube channel I tweet at Landry underscore vein I’m on Instagram and Lace Librarians that’s all that fun stuff I’m really excited I have several titles I’m hoping to release this year so please stay tuned I’m writing disabled characters and polyamorous pairings as well as my non-fiction with my fetish stuff that I like to talk about so much and yeah if if you let you know I’m I’m out here in the middle of nowhere so please just say hi on social media or leave a comment I would love to hear from you awesome alright well thank you so much it really was a pleasure and I will definitely be in touch all right take care of a good night to go to www.crunch.com can cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Archer Punk. Com Thomas Day

50 Shades of Green Sexual Permaculture TPP70


tantra-punk-kali in this episode I’m joined by M.F.P. for an exploration of the new 50 Shades of Green Sektual Permaculture spoken word poem I recently released. I lay out the thesis and she affirms that sexual capital can and should be invested into ecologically honorable endeavors.

In a bonus segment, with permission I read an article by Jill Lawson called “50 Shades of Namaste” all about the parallel benefits and pitfalls of both Yoga and BDSM. It is very wise and insightful and helps balance out the discourse by owning and honoring our need to escape the ego by inducing altered states of consciousness. I agree that ethics are sorely needed to ensure integrity and relative safety in all of our attempts to learn and practice arts of transcendence.

Please visit her website to access more of her great works: http://www.jilllawsonyoga.com/

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hot soft solar love massages the cold hard Earth providing energy with which the magic of Life can do its work producers consumers and decomposers unite transcending entropy by capturing and storing light for billions of years homeostasis was sustained resilient systems were not corrupted or defamed nurturing fertility was our Primal cultural dance only in recent times have we lost this ecorattic Romance the tyranny of disease you go with men has made the worship of women on Earth but deadly sin Empires built on the enslavement of creation damning arrows and nudity with commercialization to reclaim the natural state of Shameless Loving Grace we must admit sexual energy flow within our nation states on the surface it may very well seeing its men in business suits who have the rains but I am for you to dig deep beneath the facade and. never that it is women who are still truly in charge behind every good billionaire there’s a great dominatrix don’t be fooled by the lies of the Matrix is simple and small-minded power games his inability to manage his Primal lust and rage leads him chronically in shambles at the end of long corporate office days where does he go to escape his own Rat Race maze to the femdom goddess Temple to be put in his place so my fellow equal Warriors of the light it’s time for the ballbusting Doms to be revolutionized they are the true power Brokers behind the scenes to the walls of smoke-filled rooms CEOs are chained the problem is not a lack of philanthropy by the 1% it’s the seed packet deficiency on Dom’s Amazon Wish lists we must organize and Prem Mathai the Doms only then will the new paradigm trickle-down the highest point of Leverage is not The Ballot Box it’s the Doms Twisted grip on politicians imagine a sexual permaculture design where we value of the marginal and observe what we’ve been dyed kinky sex makes the world go round let’s harness that energy to get our project off the ground and more mainstream sectors of factory farm bus from billboard ads to hardcore porn that disgusts there are many opportunities to obtain ethical yields by owning and honoring the way we don’t really feel we want to worship naked human flesh tear off each others clothes and have ownable like group sex country cuz pornstars and streetwalkers alike have fought for their sexual human rights the most there still Outlaws persecuted by the religious right and vice the problem is the solution if you dare ask me with ecosystemic thinking we can perform sex work legal case precedent protect us from being regulated or taxed for bartering time for all types of consent relax certainly favors who’s the term the judge will choose to Define legal space for time Banks to use now for those who remember chapter 14 we are obliged to hack invisible structures for ecological game how about a game of random assembly so we can see how disparate elements my dovetail in Synergy as much as we’d all like Joe sixpack to come along chances are a food Forest will never be planted in his Frontline he’s just too busy jerking off to porn now what if the time bank knocked on his door and offered him an evening at the goddess temple with the pornstars he adores what would he do to her in such a blessing would he give that song. Alarm sheet mulch top-dressing I have proven my theory over the course of years painting myself to cougars and bears the lust for my love has gotten any fruit trees and packets of seeds it is very few sugar daddy financiers that the erotic equalution needs to line the pornstar Pockets behind the scenes so they can work and volunteer capacities serving horny time bank wildest fantasies we can take the point and pimp Industries down by taking care of her thin people in a manner that said decree sound once the international Army of satisfied men has been built we can put our soldiers to work forever abolishing shame and guilt if you don’t like seeing three nipples crotch and ask what have see need to wear a blindfold or mask the only bikini style you need produce is one to cover your eyes if you so fear being seduced women’s free-flowing erotic power will no longer be damned to build your Empire Towers if we must fight to the death to free the nipple will do whatever it takes to stop you from ever again burning our temples I vow to host a nude PDC before I die one that will probably be taught by girls on his women who no longer promote suicide please show teach their drooling fans ecological design the talent show is and practicum will be erotic and divine some claim with disdain look found her to be approved but perhaps it is the movements Destiny to shamelessly ensure that the ninth form of capital gets reinvested back into the Earth hello David Lopez welcome to Township on podcast episode number 70 I’m here again with magic fucking pussy and we’re going to talk about new track I just released the spoken word piece that’s called 50 Shades of Green sexual permaculture and first let me ask what did you think about a hearing for the first time I thought it was the way it flows it’s just that I’m in the house settle at your poetic you know I guess phrases of men to architecture where thank you very much yes mfp you were my executive editor you you know make sure that my crazy musings are streamline for Primetime in the mainstream coming from the doctrine of the top of the of the Pyramid of the entertainment world really you know so you would know how to if you share my material within your network that’s a huge endorsement because it’s like such a you know Elite kind of set of tastes really so you know if it can’t be too hippy Tupac you know to out to out there too far out so you know this is something you know you everybody of course but it has hopefully a universal cross-cultural appeal to what we’re all sort of thumb heartbroken over and really suffering from which is sexual sexual exploitation by Financial sanctions legally sanctioned Financial Enterprises you know on all levels in its mentioned in there were talking about we’re in permaculture design you learn about the notion of an energy audit and you learn from the study of systems theory and and and human ecology and a lot of other integrated disciplines of science and engineering and ecology all sorts of different sources of information and interdisciplinary holistic approach to sustainable human development design and the energy audit and understanding Energy Systems it’s really about understanding that on Earth solar energy comes down from the Sun it gets photosynthesize by green plants at the producer level of the ecological food chain in that light that’s first made into sugary energy for life to exist at the at the below the lowest levels then is sort of bounced around like a pinball up the food chain in a way that is anti in Tropic the the tendency of heat heated particles in the universe has to slow down and to cool down and therefore it stop radiating and to just become a nurse in to essentially dissolve break apart in and into its initial or into its smallest Parts if I’m if I’m understanding the physics correct that may be butchering this but essentially the idea is we live in this beautiful magical planet that takes the sunlight and it creates all these intricate webs where it it it it keeps this Vale of energy going so that it can continue to be trapped and captured and stored in an in transferred up between organisms without it just degrading so that’s why we get to exist as top predators at the top of the food chain that that we are simply would argue that were omnivores or herbivores I believe that you know our teeth are pretty good indicators that were not biologically designed to be at the top level of the food chain has Predators with binocular vision so obviously you want to say hunter gatherers gather Hunters not going to make any commentary on you know the but whether or not they’re the ethics and morality of veganism out I’ll just say that you know where we are in our natural habitat we are a very balanced interconnected part of the food chain and we are the most beneficial element in any ecosystem where we’re doing what nature design is to do which is one prime directive one one job description scatter seeds with your shit that’s the only thing we’re really meant to do is as mammals do you know and so they can do that and the Amazon rainforest will be the byproduct of appropriate human habitation of landscape we will extend the forest we will nurture and cultivate and imbue instrumental in ending conducive to fostering conditions that create more life being a part of that bouncing of that pinball the volume of the energy up and turn up so ever more magnificent forms of life can be produced and we can conserve the energy and doesn’t just get burnt off or lost in inefficient poorly engineered human artificial systems or just lost into the atmosphere for whatever reason is to be called a heat sink so that’s in a nutshell what we’re talking about human ecology permaculture approach to systems thinking and the and the energy flow audit so if you if you look at a system and you say okay here are the system elements that has inputs and outputs and all of these design elements in between that make certain functions happen to certain elements that are performing different functions and duties and you want to be as the designer is the engineer of a system you want to have Minnie minimize the input maximize the output do more with less I always optimize efficiency and innovate and you want to be able to identify those weak points in the system where energy literally is is escape and it’s not doing its work properly and that can be you know psychological problems like you have people in the workplace who are have really bad diets and you know you could change that system by putting it like I heard one corporate office they’ve be put in a vending machine and they had all the candy bars be like two bucks and then they had the fresh fruit be like 15 or $0.20 or $0.25 or whatever and it totally changed the energy of the system of their office so that’s understanding energy flow in any system so what permaculture has been so successful and so profound really are doing is is auditing the energy systems of Agriculture monoculture agriculture obviously and really indicting the inefficiency and the loss of potential energy by us flattening or agricultural Landscapes into a one-dimensional one crop one-year-old once-a-year Dead Zone grave yard of soil death of the entire ecosystem whereas if you think fourth dimensionally and you think three-dimensionally you can stack vertical layers of crops that that fruit and produce vegetables and yields at various times throughout the year and you can intelligently stagger though so that you have multiple varieties of the same type of fruit and then you have different meals throughout the year so you so the idea is if you added that the energy coming in its all full times coming down from the Sun every bit of vertical space if you imagine it if you build a trellis all the way to the top of the atmosphere that’s the best that the sky’s the limit as far as how much green leafy solar panels we can put out there to capture the vertical solar energy and if we taper that you know in a diagonal pattern we can create the natural Forest Edge effect that you see any time you go from a prairie or from a grassland or a beach you know to into where there’s Forest is going to be a great e h a gradient of vertical vertical diagonal gradient going into where it’s dis the dentist close canopy the area that’s the forest edge okay so we want to be intelligent with capturing and storing energy we want to audit in efficiencies in the use of Natural Energy we have it so abundant no one should be starving no one should be lacking medicine no one should be like in shelter the Earth is a forest production machine and when we align with it and we help it and we facilitate it it will provide all of our needs just like Bare Necessities just like the Garden of Eden we need to have one line added to the end of the Bible that says and you should go replant the Garden of Eden and stop you know lamenting that that you were kicked out of it go replanted that’s the promise of permaculture so that was you know that that was my sermon about it you know right there but what I have done and what my life is forced me to do as a permaculture designer who discovered you know late-in-life how deep my sexual trauma it’s when you know a lot of what I had sealed off being a teenage prostitute being a child no victim of child sexual abuse you know that didn’t really like obviously working in nature working in permaculture is extremely healing for survivors of any type of trauma and Anna was being very nourished by the natural Prana and feeling you know very important very useful very adored and loved by all the plants and animals that I cared for and also being you know cherished and celebrated by my community as a you know an up-and-coming kind of whippersnapper you know in the face in the movement in the field where was at locally and I feel very good and I was able to stay way above my trauma PTSD you know depression anxiety paranoia whatever feeling safe being nestled in my food Forest Gardens very very nice experience well you know as they got more to Tantra then things started to and psychedelic Shamanism then you know a lot of the the ones we’re ready had the support and love they needed to really be addressed and work through and so that kind of crippled me and my career and I dropped almost everything in my permaculture career to get deep into psychedelic shamanic tantric Sexual Healing work and as I have come you know light years through all of that and then like I’m getting back on my feet with permaculture I have really like some insights that I feel I would have never been able to talk about you know with my permaculture colleagues because like in any other field sex is in the shadow and there’s a lot of sexual predatory behavior going on by you know men and you what you can might call the old boys club of permaculture World why there’s like a lot of you no complaints that I hear and I’ve witnessed a lot that I feel like is really Shadow sexual behavior is not consciously being you know brought through the surface and a healthy way and so there’s there’s wounding happening in the movement because of that you know different kinds of you know transgressions mainly by mail piano teachers in and just just threw out the movement you could say it’s a lack of feminist training that’s kind of what I thought about it I think it’s just more it’s just an art just another archetypal example of where you have sexuality that is not healthfully processed in a community or in a movement and it’s not really the energy flow of sexual energy is not audited and we’re not designing for and with the energy although I will say that the the Duke of permaculture who shall remain on name for the purpose of this you know that are for this in the context of this podcast I’m just only going to refer to him as to do Capri go to Paducah permaculture Maiden us to point that’s part of this my sexual permaculture energy audit thesis and that was that what it ain’t no chicken needs at chickens need other chickens you know they need us for Deathbat dust bath in Need You Know food shelter always sings what what do interns need what are woofers need on a farm you know they need other interns are other woofer is because they need to have that access that sexual access especially if they’re in the age of being between high school and college at are doing some college programming to take some time off their primary you need is other interns to engage in you know there I don’t want sound like Doc Brown hear what rhythmic ceremonial rituals and they just need to get their freak on that’s just how it is at designing for Sexual Energy that’s intelligent design if you don’t design that way you’re going to have loaners that get bored and leave and don’t do the job they want to do cuz you’re too sexually frustrated you know so did this is one element of thinking this way so if you know anybody who’s taking the PDC permaculture design course you know has ecological design training from any sort of any way of learning about it it should be it should come natural to to be able to to Grass what I’m talking about here so my permaculture redesign of human sexuality on Earth in the 21st century is is really what I’m in dieting here in this track and I guess Huffines a case of this is funny a few couple funny things happen while this during this process one is that because the last line I make a United statement about our our beloved co-founder who is noted for having said some pretty some people would say perverted some people would say you know just I’ve seen some people might stay just hyper-sexualized but yeah you don’t have to watch too many of the global Gardener series or the grave danger of falling food there’s you know there’s there’s there’s moments you know where you’re like him well how do I feel about that but I will tell you what after watching the official 72 hour course that was produced as like a set of DVDs quite a few years ago there are shocking moments in that and they’re also really Redemptive moments in that where you know important statements are made about how you know it’s well-known that men have been wrecking the planet and are to blame and are the culprits and it is patriarchy and we need to honor women as the holders and keepers of plant knowledge and wisdom and it’s the real power Brokers of sexual energy to give us life they give us pleasure they nurture us they have the compassion they’re fully activated you know in those ways and so this imbalance that’s caused I mean this the founder the co-founder of this movement has no love for the man and the tyranny of women animals nature I pretty much feel pretty solid about that based on my studies of his works and so whatever little moments he has if being a perv that people might point out I think it’s counterbalanced by that deeper truth but because I was expecting to you know defend this thesis a little bit I went to go look up a part and I was trying to find the part where he talks about how women women harvesting water chestnuts is quite a stench bending over harvesting water chestnuts is quite essential experiences I think or something to that effect which you could say is he’s a goddess worshipper he’s endearing and he’s not ashamed to enjoy what’s natural to him which is the pleasure of that it was quite sensual you know I don’t personally take to do defensive that but I’ll say I just wanted to find that citation to be able to you know say hey look this is not the first one to be sexual in permaculture me so as I’m going to look that up what do we discover on the video of the global Gardener in the tropics what do we discover in this we discover that there was a very erotic porn spliced into that Sheen yeah that was interesting to say the least yes I was shocked and Disturbed to find that this video and support bloke with his mother-in-law and children were watching it and then had this like Fight Club Tyler Durden moment if somebody is placing frames of pornography into family films I don’t know who was watching Fight Club when they did that hack job on this video but the guy even says in the comments on YouTube like you know he says I watched it a few times already and it wasn’t in there now I know how YouTube works and it looks like it was an old VHS thing it looks like somebody was trying to record something off of cable and they didn’t know what tape was in and they pressed record and then they for a minute they were in they realized they stopped it but it just doesn’t make sense I really hope that it’s not like some Illuminati conspiracy and they’re taking you know whatever it is that actually figuring out a way to hack these phones hack hack people’s video files on the servers without deleting free uploading and then you know that resetting the counter and all that stuff as far as I know you can’t do that but that one of the comments did say he said that he watched it several times and they must have just recently added it so yes it’s scary I know it was the way that it comes in and out is totally classic I remember this you know if you’re dumping tapes on VHS so it had to have been done a long time ago but I don’t know if they swapped with some else who knows who or what happened you know but this is like so telling to me because my thesis for a while has been you know my medicine work my tantric healing work everything it’s it’s it’s made me realize that it made me wonder why was I sexually abused why was I engage in prostitution is a street punk you know it’s 13 well it all comes to ecological economics and all I wanted to do you know when I was on the street was go live in a forest Shaolin Temple and trained in martial arts and training for the revolution liberate people in in like reclaim the land that was my fantasy you know I was at a youth drop-in center and this college intern staffer she asked you was on an assignment was like ask all the street kids what would $5,000 sound like a lot back then she said if your if you if we gave you $5,000 as a thought experiment you know but you had to get off drugs and you have to get your head to get the street what would you do so she gave me like a blue sky budget you know scenario and I said I would go and live in the woods and build a Shaolin Temple martial arts Warrior training camp in like live out my you know revolutionary Syfy Rambo Kung Fu fantasies and raise a whole generation of Warriors that was what I want to do and like pretty much I’ve been on a mission doing that ever since I got the street but you know the what what is that indicate and then when I was in the street I would go in these horrible states of psychosis you know like a bad trip on steroids from meth and go and the only way I could outrun the demons and the the madness was to find some pristine piece of nature so I found this forest and park and I would go there and literally all of the Shadow entities would not be able to make it through that Prana forcefield I can get in and they couldn’t follow me and I found peace and I have beautiful journal entries about that so you know Earth repair edible reforestation food for staying in the urban and rural and Suburban environment is going to bring in so much health and healing is going to buffer all these forms of abuse and exploitation I so that Journey let me just thinking like okay how do we accelerate the Greening of our reality so that we can mellow people out and make some of these Predator entities like have a harder time I mean when you put in the projects and there’s no nature around you’re giving human souls and human sexual sex chakras all that how you know there’s plenty of would have talked about in previous episodes of basically you by design your setting up conditions conducive to sexual predator entity infestation and when you design natural buffers you inhibit that pressure and you you’re creating it’s like you want to address the issue of mosquitoes you have to make design improvements to deal with that or if you want to buy for any predator pressure any pathogen you going to have to design for it so we’re living in human environments that have been designed for predation of sexualities and not against so to start we need to start growing food again now how do we a movement going where people stop participating in porn and pimping and prostitution and stripping and all these things that just deplete us and feed the the dark Realms well I don’t know how to motivate people to care about nature that you know it’s like if I had big breasts in a big old perfect you know Grill and it was a blonde hair blue-eyed Woman by God I could have the whole earth wrapped around my finger overnight if I say you can have a little I’ll let you peek at my nipple if you go plan a thousand trees and everyone would do it and overnight the world would be perfectly Retreat that’s sexual Capital the ninth form of capital and all of that power that a woman has to have men who worship her that’s a cult of tits and ass is the world the really really live in so the power that a woman has to broker for access to her sexual Temple whether it’s visually or with hands or with genitals that power is really the most that is the most powerful force within human culture. It is a woman’s erotic power and the illusion of patriarchy is that men run the show in fact they don’t run the show men are feeble-minded chimpanzee brained chakra deactivated Bistro morons that rely on the intelligence of women for everything and that goes back to being an infant but what’s going on that this poem is trying to point out as an audit of sexual energy in a permaculture way women still have the power it’s still a matriarchy and we are in fact I get to bring it in here for a second so you were the one who told me about how this is essentially a financial matriarchy because sexual capital is design in a way that’s actually serving women here in Las Vegas you want to talk about that was just what I know yeah that women make more in Las Vegas the dancers make more the strip clubs the cocktail waitresses make more than the male host at night clubs women bartenders make for more than male bartenders and I even heard that even the laws were skewed in favor of women and I don’t know why that is that’s just somebody somebody told me that randomly just that you know if you were to get a divorce it always favors the female in Las Vegas and that was to protect the women but you know Grant even the favor so yeah you’re right it’s the women hold the power here Ocean City why because men come here to worship women’s flesh and that’s Unholy and people with greed and lust for money have created legally sanctioned Enterprises to meter out women’s sexual access to woman’s body temples on all levels that ho it’s all this is this this entire economy is the case study for women truly having all that power yet being sort of mine fucked in foot bound to not organize together that’s the problem just like in the chimpanzee societies this is so interesting okay so I went to the dominant Force enlisted you had to tell us will drop us into your world of where you spent you know how you spent eight years in the belly of the beast of the whole Enterprise okay so from my perspective Las Vegas coming from y e Las Vegas to me was glamorizing the adult fun of things of over sexuality tight fitting clothes know nobody’s judging anyone you know we’re here to party have some drinks go to some clubs meet some new people you know take some risks and live it up and you know then go back to our boring lives so you know it’s very liberating for me to see that and see these empowered women but also it’s kind of a false empowerment because then you see the strip club managers or the men that actually keep them around a type of leashes I don’t know of whatever dysfunction has led them to to sell their bodies I think so cheaply in Indus Tastefully so that’s where the whole city of sin and comes from the soo easy to point B like sin and you know it’s like it’s mainly The Flash cuz we drink in every city you know and it’s you know you can gamble too and gambling supposedly a sin is it really I don’t know but yeah so you know I worked I was married to a very successful independent host basically a VIP concierge where you know we booked club club venues Show tickets some you know whatever seats they wanted or whatever it was you no recommended restaurants in that was a part of glamorizing it the power of sexuality but in a in a way that was it was not morally good in the end because it was promoting the wrong type of entities and energy than facades you know and so X Punk makes a great point that if you are somebody that is sexually liberated and you’re promoting offense in you know that at least at least trying it baptized that energy and I know that you promoted life and in plants and you know free food for all you know you want to look at these breasts you want even maybe touch them let’s see how many plants you know entries those strong arms can plant you know and then you know you know that you were promoting the right type of energy and and then you can go on with your life you know sure take your clothes off all right you know work it be you’re now representing a more powerful Movement by promoting something good thank you so much for taking us on that little journey there yeah it’s such an interesting irony that this is the financial matriarchy where there is more permissiveness around celebrating female sexual power yet it is still pimped still pimp kosher essentially it’s still a pimp culture where it’s like wait a minute you know the reason that chimpanzees are patriarchal rapist domineering male-dominated societies is because they had to they were in a region in Africa in the jungle where gorillas occupied the niche of the ground level of the forest which made it a form of competition so that everyone in the chimp sort of societies males and females they were dispersed throughout the canopy so they were all loners right which made it more of a you know everyone for themselves kind of social ecology or while kissing me to call you but MD we’re susceptible to the attack of mail so males literally evolve to be these extreme brutes and an extended extremely violent Society with lots of murder sometimes cannibalism and definitely lots of rape and persecution of old young homosexual women by the alpha males and the reason that is is because of that that Mitch being blocked of being able to be on the ground now the our closest primate cousins the bonobos they did were lucky enough to be in a region where they could have evolved culturally where there wasn’t the competition of the girls in the ground so what did that allow for it allowed for women’s Sisterhood Circle to be the governing councils that actually totally a manicure the Eagles of the males like bonsai trees and they would barter food they eat first they are the Matrix they eat first and they would barter sexual favors for food like oh you want you want some go get me that that do come and go get me some bananas man come on give give me when it’s not that it’s not that men you know spoiling women with gifs trying to earn their affection as they all do you know I mean that’s not wrong it’s not wrong to exchange energy for it’s not wrong to exchange some form of capital for a sexual Capital exchange what’s wrong is when men or pimping off of that exploiting it and taking the huge cut and exploiting and beating and brutalizing women taking away the opportunities when women are in control like Madam’s at a brothel that’s sustainable and regenerative let’s say there is a matriarchal political structure and Men actually have to earn access to what they really want and more than to just be beating each other up mean that’s just too exhausting and tiring and it did baboon studies that show it’s like they’re they’re all dying or killing each other to stress hormones I mean this male dominance hierarchy thing it’s like if you want to devolve into that state you know you’re a sorry fool because bed the better life is the life run by women where the men are trusting in their intelligence their collective intelligence to govern and manage society and you will get more and better sex if you fall into that power structure that we have lost almost all knowledge is Hamlet so because it has been almost through almost to be eradicated there still the galuteria societies left on the planet there still bonobos left from really what we need to do is look at how I mean this is my face it’s okay so you can do whatever you want take it or leave it but for those interested in you know why I have produced this track and what the thesis behind it is that you know we we we I feel compelled to you know if he’s okay so going to say going back to where we saw that that porn clip come into the permaculture video It’s So telling because what I haven’t seen a few years is like okay and it started when I went to I was at the top of my permaculture career was on the Joan Rivers show doing Joan Rivers backyard permaculture installation on her reality TV show top of the game for me and we went my partner the time we went to to a high-end Hollywood producer one of the top production companies there and we laid out all of our materials you know our portfolio we wanted to see if they would be interested in doing a reality TV show is amazing property were developing totally like wholesome permaculture makeover you know something that we thought we could you know just getting traction on so we went and we did a presentation and the dudes like and he’s a friend to he needs like you know what sorry guys this is great and everything but you just need to make permaculture sexy because not going to sell otherwise and it’s funny because I’m not going to say who it was but somebody who is a top-level permaculture person who I would be intimidated to even ever talk to her approach found me on LinkedIn and look Tucson my working and that’s all there was energy alignment I said you actually I’ve been out of the game for a while I’ve been working on you know actually adult entertainment stuff and it’s interesting because it seems like there’s going to be some way that I’m going to actually do what people talk about his make permaculture sexy and she’s like yeah that’s what everybody you know using the expression in terms of just making it mainstream but really like I I was told in no uncertain terms if you wanted to be mainstream it’s not just a figure of speech it’s got to be sexy so I did the survival women project you know equal educational erotica modeling thing that’s on the website now under the tundra task force where I’m offering to pay you know bikini models porn actresses fashion models Runway my would ever do something be engaged in ecological service work and I’ll actually I would be happy to pay you more because if it’s $100 an hour or an hour of nude photography then I think you know we could do a lot of wicked that is a key leverage Point not to be able to say we’re going to bring ecological skills and values into what where people’s eyeballs are already glued you know what I mean so they’re looking at their I can’t get people to join you know me to go plant trees you know in the neighborhood cuz they’re all jerking off to porn or they’re all watching the Kardashians or whatever they’re addicted to this mediated meter doubt commercialized pimped version of female sexuality and I’m out there going hey guys fun good times you know ecological service where he is Holy hey it’s spiritual you know it’s antidepressant it’s good for everything like I’m too busy with my mind in the gutter doing this you know shadowy self you know pleasure extremely like negative patterns of a self erotic stimulation is happening with all the stuff and it’s like okay if finally dawned on me or I do to make them go to Stacy fucking I’m going to go and I’m going to get in porn and I’m going to get higher the models and be like okay see when I was standing behind you with the protest sign you know same plant trees and save the Earth and you were paying attention cuz your eyes were glued to the porn screen now I’m just going to walk right around and get into your computer screen and come into your entertainment medium with my sign saying are you now can you see me okay now or never pay attention now the problem is who wants to look at you know Silly old me well there’s quite a few me all gay men that I’m doing quite well with you know sponsoring me to do what I’m doing but the exponential Capital value is in the heat of the women who are the most 5 million followers in Instagram Barbie fembot women who are posting nothing but pictures of them self in different little cutesy poses with nothing to say nothing to promote and just a few products to sell and buy goddess as I’m glad to see more holistic stuff more you know yoga models and raw food and vegan models that’s wonderful let’s take that power that these women have an invite them and hire them to actually engage in useful educational beneficial ecological service work as some percentage of what they do on their portfolio and it’s not like we’re asking him to do it as a favor it’s cheap to pay them to do it I haven’t talked into models who were at the peak of their game you know Big Time cover you know everything you could ever dream about being and really I don’t know if they don’t last that long or what it is but it’s like they’re not unapproachable they are the key leverage Point more cheaper than getting celebrity endorsement of a non-profit do you know any cars or something like that I don’t know what they charge or how you get through how do you get to the people’s like go on Model Mayhem and say what I did I hope I’ve got a hold of some very powerful you know modeling you know Divas who are very interested in possibly being a part of the paradigm shift so you know it’s kind of like yeah okay this proves my freaking point if we don’t get in here and we don’t start sorting this out for people healthy natural ecosexuality opportunities to earn love and pleasure you know by being in service it’s just going to eat Us Alive you know so it’s like if it’s there’s no escaping this like curse that happening we’ve got to take a stand and we’ve got to make better more wholesome erotica and I just made that to Eco sexuality video you know that is it sound like ecosexuality YouTube channel basically depicting what it feels like to be to be sensual and nature how was just an ongoing beautiful pure easy orgasm it’s a constant orgasmic Flow State and you know what I have a joke about BDSM Sy call this Fifty Shades of Green it’s like a oh you saw this to you saw the picture disturbing I can do it is first. Yeah you should explain it I have some you know crazy scars on my chest whenever when I go to the hospital they say you know they say are you do you need to be in a psych ward looks like you’ve been cutting herself like now that was some BDSM that I did when I was you know younger and punk rock relationship and Stephen like oh what’s Woody time I like to think where this way was like it was like a self-styled tribal initiation you know scarification ritual Rite rite of passage right and I like okay I guess you know what time we’re not crazy the irony is just today right after I posted this track I have a a former lover friend send me pictures of some of the you know BDSM Kink stuff that we did many years ago were these scars came from and you see the essentially the the the botched attempt to make meaningful you know tribal initiation rites of Passage through pain and scarification and everything is so I bring that up because for one is after it happened right there and you saw it it’s like definitely you didn’t know who you were you didn’t I mean that what erotic sensual feeling could those slices on your skin possibly evoke it didn’t look loving it didn’t look pleasurable it looked like a distraction from something more painful it’s like a the emotional pain Works its way to the surface one way or another if you don’t give it dancing singing and dancing and tribe love and like gardening then it comes out as a rash of this kind of activity so you know you know how ya so this idea about what I’m addressing here where the sexual Capital lies its most concentrated in the female dominatrixes and even and even more so in the financial Nexus there’s this Paradox because part of me who is trying to promote ecosexuality is saying we can unkink are Kundalini energy with 50 shades of green if we go out into nature orgasm comes much easier when you’re surrounded by a beneficent ecological spirits and all of the sensuousness and beauty of a natural setting your not saying your partner G we’ve been having a lot of you know rough sex in the apartment and it’s kind of boring and kind of over it can you like beat me senseless with a hammer so I can get off because I’m numb or can you choke me half to death because I can’t have an orgasm unless you do that and then it’s like oh how do you know what honey why don’t we find a place to go and try having sex outdoors and oh well we can’t cuz it’s illegal in there be a looky-loos and there’s no there’s nothing conducive in the modern reality to that experience so people are stuck in these torture chambers of sexual relationships where they start to dabble with the stuff and believe me I have the scars to show it and I don’t think I don’t look kindly upon the entities behind sadism I really don’t and I’ll leave it at that for now but the paradoxes that you know the women who have the most power still despite the illusion of patriarchy and male dominance and all that economic advantage and Tim culture the most powerful men are being Twisted by the ball as by the balls by the financial dominatrixes who are sucking them dry of their money and giving them orders and really if you want things to trickle-down Eagle by Jayco value to trickle down from the highest point of Leverage it’s about bringing the Doms into this ecological Paradigm and there’s a beautiful female dominatrix predom who is a advocate of bondable Rights and is talking about these parallels between the potential of femme dom to really be the bridge to a more sustainable holistic natural power dynamic between the Sexes that’s going to really change mail destructive behavior and get you know Make Love Not War that’s what the promises of that so you know the the transmutation the Tantra that the permaculture than the night form of capital really is its if we intelligently designed and look at where this energy is dammed up and we burst that damn and we let the female erotic energy and power flow freely and we give them the the space the females of space to actually coordinate and design with that power so they can use sex strikes as a leverage tool to get men to stop fighting and Wars that’s been done historically which is a beautiful tactic you know it can be the the idea that oh you want to cop a feel while here is a way for you to earn that access want you plant these this many trees and then I will allow you to do that in a ceremonial contacts on the full moon in a ritual where you’re going to notice. Some training and you’re going to be assertive disinfected so you can be trusted there’s a million ways that we can honorably respect and revivify the true natural healthy holy worship of the beauty of the female form and the male form but let’s be honest here we know what makes the world go round and it is kinky sex and it is most of all not the mail Dom’s that are running that show either it’s the female dimes you know who are making the most money and you have the CEOs and politicians in the warlord’s by the fucking balls so enjoy this track and you know if it resonates with you and then you know who knows where we’ll be by the next next time we come back to this issue but I feel like it’s you know the mission was validated you know seeing that porn clip come in it’s like okay man this is on the war is on you know we’re either going to fight back and bring a better Paradigm regenerative sustainable appropriate sexual capital expenditure and exchange systems or we’re going to be torn asunder so thank you very much anyway less words in a fee I just want to come in again how how beautifully written that was and it’s one of my favorite so far I’d say it might take number one so thank you for making that everyone out there thank you for listening and Aloha and God bless this article by Joe Lawson 50 Shades of Namaste exploring yoga and sadomasochism I reached out to her and I got permission to read the article in full so I think it is very apps to close this conversation says the first time is terrifying yet life-changing you will be instructed to take off your shoes and strip down to Bare Escentuals if you have the courage to look around you will see men and women contorted and grotesque positions with various limbs bound and tied you will lie back while someone spreads your knees and ties your ankles to your hips with a stiff canvas strap a sandbag will be placed over your eyes and you’ll be instructed to breathe through the discomfort perhaps it happened in a hot room swamped by life malleable bodies beat it in perspiration you were commanded to bend over you felt a set of hands clutching your hips guiding you further into compliance flushed and receptive you kept a steady gaze and held your position until the next set of instructions bondage and discipline coupled with dominance and submission is commonly seen as the masochism it is practiced as a way to ironically unshackle us from the pain of life if we look closely yoga is not that different both employed techniques to free the Mind from suffering both incorporate means to transcend pain and experience pleasure both involve a close relationship between a teacher and student both share the ultimate goal of attaining higher States Of Consciousness and Bliss we all have an innate desire to be liberated from the struggles of Life Carl Jung believe there is no coming to Consciousness without pain as a society that runs from Agony straight into the pleasuredome it is hard to believe anyone would voluntarily gravitate toward pain but we do and it is helpful for some being bound tide and told what to do is just a type of discomfort we need to set us free pain is in the pain is a necessary way to enhance pleasure Beyond promoting the release of endorphins and other pain-killing hormones pain can make pleasurable activities feel better if anyone who has ever taken a hot bath after a long day working in the bitter cold knows this to be affect the old adage of no pain no gain holds true for the yogi who believes in during discomfort promotes happiness the teachings in The Yoga sutras of patanjali share that Transcendence of the ego through the practice of Tapas discipline self-restraint and torching inner impurities is Kian experiencing Oneness with everything like the Phoenix we must burn in order to Rise From the Ashes if we want to evolve Bikram Yoga is high temperatures bring rise to that bird of rebirth after feeling like a captured terrorist inside of military HotBox the moment the door opens in the cool air descends Upon Us Bliss abounds Iyengar Yoga is props and Contraptions are akin to what might be found in a Sex Dungeon or a medieval torture chamber rack straps and walls things are commonly used to tie and bind us into curious poses all for the sake of Liberation spanning the course of history there have been numerous sexual Illusions associated with yoga in the Kamasutra the practice of slapping inviting our sexual partners was meant to provide mindfulness the yin and yang of Dallas Tioga rituals involve dominant and submissive role playing to seek balance in natural forces ancient tantric yoga practice is involved holding challenging sexual things for long periods of time for personal Awakening contrary to popular belief in order to gain positive psychological or spiritual benefits neither sadomasochism Noir yoga for that matter has to involve sex while sitting masochism carries a certain stigma of insanity research suggests that those who engage in it are not mentally ill they’re inherently healthy and happy individuals current studies show non sexual practices involving pain and still feelings of unity in connection with others James Ambler Brad Sagarin and a team of researchers at Northern University believe these altered brain States brought on by sex with sadomasochistic practices are similar to what can be experienced when people push themselves in sexless yoga the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex is responsible in part for distinguishing self from other set an alert if less blood flow to the brain during these intensely painful experiences the result might be a feeling of Oneness we think this may be indicative of the types of Altered States Of Consciousness people might be seeking noted Sagarin Roy Baumeister PhD professor of psychology at Case Western Reserve University believe sadomasochism is a way for people to escape his or her egocentric identities he says like alcohol abuse binge eating and meditation sado-masochism is the way people can forget themselves however sadomasochism and meditation are potentially less destructive and boozing and overeating disassociating from our identities frees the Mind from suffering the yogi believe surrendering the ego especially when it involves a journey out of our comfort zone is crucial to our Spiritual Development as human beings however some are not only capitalizing on this psychology the exploding it for personal gain open yourself up completely everyday don’t worry about the beauty or the pain of it there’s no growth without distress and disturbance said Swami chetanananda a spiritual leader who purportedly abused dozens of his followers financially sexually and spiritually when you go is lost limit is lost you become infinite kind beautiful said Yogi Bhajan who is accused of rape and sodomy yoga is really trying to liberate us from Shame about her body I said Rodney who admitted to having sex with his students when Any teacher student or dominant submissive relationship becomes infused with selfishness someone inevitably becomes the victim the current matters of Bikram choudhury remind us of the sad truth the path to Enlightenment has many shades of grey the Dark Side of yoga is littered with vanity egocentrism in a ravenous appetite for seduction and power if we want a shot and Enlightenment we shall transcend wrongdoing in the midst of our pleasure-seeking practices are first yoga experience May read like a steamy sadomasochistic Trilogy or be analogous to the Eagles song Hotel California as the narratives are somewhat similar we are all prisoners of our own device and it certainly Could Be Heaven or it could be hell if ethics are not a top priority we won’t ever experience the pleasure and ecstasy we seek no matter how hard we push and how much it hurts thank you for listening to the touch of Time Podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition of sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple upper right ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episode if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com

The Path of a Shamanatrix with Kristen Boyer TPP56


Kristen Boyer picIn this episode I’m am joined by Kristen Boyer. She caught my attention in a you tube video of a panel discussion on eros and entheogens. She described a recent chapter of her life as a profesional shamanatrix. I had dreamt of  such an archetype several years ago as I began to be intiated into the mysteries of sexual healing with psychedelic goddess worship

She has graciously blessed the podcast by sharing a bit from her memoires and engaging in a visioneering session with me on a more holistic and empowered future for dommes and their clients.

About Kristen

I have always been a natural counselor and teacher by design, and have been interested in motivating and supporting others in achieving their highest levels of happiness, wholeness and success. Shortly after earning my MA in Creative Arts Therapy at Pratt Institute in New York, I fell ill with chronic illness followed by abandonment of my spouse (which were undoubtedly connected to my health problems and had to be addressed on a physical, emotional and spiritual level). I felt my life crumble before me. In desperation to stay in New York City, I took up a job as a professional dominatrix as an attempt to reclaim my power and supplement the high costs of city living. I applied my psychotherapy training and facilitated a glorified version of drama therapy that allowed my clients an outlet for their shadow sides to be vulnerable, acknowledged and accepted without judgment. I found that deeply wounded clients were magnetically drawn to my empathic intuitive ‘girl next door’ persona. I found I was naturally gifted at holding space for some of the darkest, and most concealed wounds to be seen and healed. My dungeon time was not long-lived yet these experiences have inspired me to transmute and integrate some of the darker, shadow sides of my clients while balancing spiritual and psychological health.

Shamanism and soul retrieval work began to magnetically draw me in and I quickly realized that this was my life’s work. I was trained in many shamanic healing modalities, the most powerful of these techniques being soul retrieval. Learning how to facilitate soul retrieval was the missing piece of my healing practice…click here to read more

Please connect with Kristen and access her services by visiting her website:

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear love his welcome to Township on podcast episode number 56 I’m here with Kristin Boyer and she is a shamanic healer and a very interesting lie to me also has a history of doing work as a Dominatrix and when you put the two together you have a shamanatrix and I think that’s a real endearing term I actually envisioned the need for that myself a few years ago and I thought that was a beautiful archetype in you’re actually the first person who I’ve discovered that has use that title so I’m very interested if you if you like to Chris and tell us a bit about your background and then we can talk about how you Blended those two modalities and I’m so excited to be on your show they said thank you for having me so to explain a little bit about how I got into this work there’s a little bit of a backstory that I find is became a very strong story my life that helps me to get to where I am doing this demonic Soul retrieval and it’s Soul empowerment work that I do now that I grew up with a very tight lace fundamentalist Christian family in in the suburbs of Pennsylvania and I found that there was just this very controlling very sexually submissive as Ben also repressive energy that was in my household and so as I was growing up I felt like I wanted to rebell against. But I also felt a little bit controlled by those forces so there’s always this theme of submissiveness control feeling disempowered in that way that I grew up and when I was 24 years old I got married to this man who I thought was the man of my dreams right he was as wonderful man from Scotland I had met when I was 16 years old on the family vacation and we became pen pals we stayed in touch and it was during the time that I was in graduate school studying creative arts therapy at Pratt Institute in New York City that I reconnected with this man and at that time he came to visit me we fell so deeply in love all over again just like when we were 16 17 years old and we decided to be crazy young kids and start a path towards getting married and getting a green card for my my partner so we got married and soon after we were hitched he just completely changed and I began to see his true colors and I felt truly that I had been tricked by a sociopath he quickly went through my lifesaving which wasn’t too much of the time but was all that I had to my name and as soon as all of our rent money was gone he got on a plane to Scotland without me knowing so I came back from work I had been working as a nanny working with children who had deep emotional disturbance we’re on a lot of medications because of course then the nanny agency I work for I had this extensive training in Psychotherapy psychology create our therapies and they put me with these very challenging children so I came back from work and I found that he and all of his belongings had completely vanished and I went to the store with trying to figure out how to stay in New York trying to figure out what had happened and I was able to become a little bit of a sleuth and you connect via Facebook and interwebs to find out where he was and what had happened and his his best friend reached out to me and said I’m really sorry and I offer my condolences I didn’t realize things weren’t working out but Tommy’s on the plane to Scotland right now and you know I’m really sorry about that and so at that moment I realized that he was completely gone and I was in this really tight situation so at that time I was going through the shedding of ight I thought this was going to be my life getting married having a family you know the white picket fence and all that stuff that I don’t necessarily believe and I’m really happy that Bishop’s in my life happened so that I could let go of that old dream to make space for this new one and what ended up happening was was working as this nanny with these is really highly stressful cases and some of the nannies that I had play dates with pulled me aside and they said Kristen you are a hot mess and you can’t be with these kids right now you’re about to crack and I said absolutely I was excusing myself to cry in the bathroom when there are other nannies around that gets rid of look after the kids for me and I came back and said this is this is not a good situation for me to be and I’m not quite sure what to do cuz I want to stay in New York the issue was that my parents were very rigid and they didn’t agree with me marrying outside of my Christian religion and I knew that if I went back home that they would just crush the rest of my soul and I realize that I have had this was what I Now understand is it was almost like I was losing parts of myself losing parts of my soul as I know understand it to the lens of the work I do but at that time I thought you know my soul has been compromised I feel like I’ve lost parts of myself in this marriage and the destruction of this marriage and even with the work I was doing with these kids I was just it felt like parts of me were just checking out or leaving my body because the situation I was in was just a sera and I thought if I went back to my parents house in Pennsylvania that it was just going to ravage and rape the rest of my soul so I knew that that was not the solution and I was trying to find a way to stay in New York and that’s when these nannies that I had these pleaded with pulled me aside and said Kristen you’re falling apart you need to think about doing something else and hey you know I don’t want to make you feel weird I don’t want to embarrass you or anything but maybe you should think about becoming a professional Dominatrix and at that point I just need to know I picture it in my mind myself in this black leather outfit with a whip and it’s like a dominatrix I think that’s what I think that’s what that is before I could even respond to the other nanny said you know what I had a friend who did that and she went through a really hard breakup and she processed her feelings through the work she made a lot of money doing it I think you should give it a shot and I looked out of myself and I will only be 25 and look this good with lines and so I thought you know what have I got to lose already lost everything what else have I got to lose and so I thought it wouldn’t hurt to get in touch with someone who had already done that work and one of the nannies put me on the phone with one of their friends she wouldn’t give me her real name and she was very secretive about it she said you know this work is not for the faint of heart but if you’re good and if you can really connect with these people then you can really hit the jackpot and so I went into this work not being very educated about it so I decided to read some books on how to do BDSM in a very safe way what people are looking for Understanding Psychology behind because I was always very excited about the psychology and I had worked with a lot of drug addicts I’d work with a lot of sex addicts at Bellevue Hospital and the chemical dependency and mental health clinic for one of my internship so it already had this background with working with really intense stories and also working with people who have had sexual addiction so I thought you know I think I’m pretty much grounded and what I need to know to be able to handle most situations and I went to the dungeon I found the dungeon that one that has been highly recommended I went in there and they said you know I gave them my resume and they said that it dropped it on the floor and said just pick a name when do you want to start and it rolled off of my lips Karma my name is Miss just Karma so when I got into the dungeon I realized that people were coming in with these really interesting stories and it took me a few sessions to realize that a lot of the stories that my clients were bringing to me were stories of this empowerment that had actually happened to them so for example I had this one individual who is this really tall very good looking older man may be in his early 50s salt and pepper hair and he had a very deep voice but then he would go into this character he always wanted to play the same scenario out where I would be his babysitter and I would be his babysitter who would force him to touch himself and I would switch narrate this whole scene where I wouldn’t be directly of using him but I would be creating these situations that were very very sexy were very erotic but we’re also triggering something and I know this this because he had this really big strong voice book he would talk about it you would talk like as a little boy years old there was something that just wasn’t bridging together as far as young as a little baby with the way that we were doing this role play and it was interesting because I have a password I was sexually abused by a neighbor by babysitter so it was almost like whenever he saw me he would pick me because he knew and it was interesting because most of the other jobs were really intimidated by this particular situation I felt very uncomfortable around taking on clients who had these really interesting story than maybe it’s something that I attractive because I needed to play out my own stories but I was Finding with a lot of the client’s house working with they had very similar stories that they wanted to play out every single time another example is there was this older gentleman who wanted us which scenario and a switch scenario is where one person plays the dominant one and then they also play the submissive why then you either changed the role within the story or you have different stories that you play out and there were certain to be able to ship those roles and there was one particular gentleman who always has the same idea of what he wanted to do first you wanted to do a role-play where I was an indentured servant and my husband had passed away and I had to take on his hours of Labor before I would be able to be set free and that was one of the roles in the second one he wanted to play which was I was either mrs. Schmidt or Mrs Smith’s mother and he went on to say that he had these foster parents and his foster mother in the spa your mother’s mother was were the ones that he was primarily being raised by and that he described it so that our characters they were very very harsh very hard and punishing on him especially his foster mother’s mother who had this energy of being very sexual would be naked all the time great provocative it was for the back to Lori and then would punish him for almost nothing and so I was I was chose to embody that character because you could feel the essence of this person exists and it’s almost like just tapping into this frequency of becoming that character and I’ve experienced that when I’ve done family constellations there is therapies where you can take a role for someone else to play a family member and it’s like you don’t have to know much of the backs or you just need to tap into the vibration of that character is and then you express that in a way that you are playing out an old roll or giving a person a opportunity to break that role and so it was Finding was these clients as commercial dungeon we’re coming in with these stories that were truly truly in a sense disempowering and I found it a lot of them are trying to find ways to make this consensual either by playing it out but this time it’s okay because permission decided okay I’m playing with an adult who I find attractive who knows the rules and I can communicate with and I was finding these scenarios where the people didn’t actually know how to change the stories some of them tried and some of them wanted to switch the roles and change the dialogue but most of the time my clients would come in with the same script literally our had people who were coming in with a script and if I went one line two lines off of that script they would break down and we have to start over again from the top, and of course I’ve done all this work and you know the creative arts therapy is Rob doing movement therapy art therapy talk therapy and in this sense to me this was imma therapy and we were playing out stories and I found it not only were my clients stuck in this Loop of an old traveler an old story that they were playing and still I was too I was looking at my store in my lens of feeling unwanted feeling like I had been abandoned feeling like I couldn’t be myself from my family and I was revolted against all of those stories and I was creating a Persona it through mistress Karma to reshape how I felt by feeling powerful feeling like I was in control feeling like I was wanted and desired and what was interesting was when I tapped into those vibrations are I played out those rolls I felt like a superhero but I would still go home at the end of the night and I was by myself cry myself to sleep because my life was falling apart at the seams and all of the other areas but when I could play and tap into a character that was truly empowered I felt empowered but I character wasn’t able to permeate my entire life and I found that I was still stock and instead I was so they’re dividing into the sub character that was empowering me and giving me strength and then this other more honest South seeing where I was at and feeling hopeless and feeling like my heart was blocked and that this play was helping me to put his dance around where I was hurt and make connections with people in a fun way but I was still protecting something and not being truly authentic because I was afraid of being hurt so long story short I’m working in the dungeon and this is around 2012 and there were a lot of planetary shifts if you say I’m not really too sure what the blame it on the all the sudden my intuition became sharper than it ever has been before and I guess in retrospect of always have had this additional sense to send spirits and all the sudden I was seeing ghosts in the dungeon literally full-body apparitions and I saw these fragments of people who have been coming into the number being punished or hurt and I began to see this fragmentation of these you know now I understand is so parts that there was some trauma happening and people are separating the parts of their souls and I was seeing if I was having the lights turned on and off on me is it a comical way during sessions that we worked into the session but realizes this is a ghost and they were jiggling the door knobs and you know trying to get my attention in every which way and at that point I just almost as if I could hear them whispering to me get out of here go leave you it’s not safe as if the ghosts were telling me that it’s not safe and I wasn’t sure if it was because of them or if it was because there were some illegal operations going on in this particular dungeon and there was a lot of close calls with the cops and all sorts of things unitedness tell me when I get wrapped up in that energy but at that point I just decided okay I don’t know why but I think it’s time to go and so I left the dungeon and during that time I had been putting myself through school as a holistic nutritionist and housecoat and so at that point I had already taken on some new clients and was working in the health and coaching fields and I was also taking a bunch of classes at this holistic Learning Center in New York City where I was doing for the work-study program so I was able to assist as an assistant with classes so I could take them for free and at that time all of my clients were talking about Shamanism shamanism really know that much about Shamanism it just sounded like something I was told to stay away from as a kid because no demon is armor you know who it is of her all these things that my parents would have shamed and the church shamed is there different these are not okay and there was something that was attractive about this word and all my clients kept telling me about something called Soul retrieval and I I didn’t know what that was but it sounded really powerful and it kept showing up everywhere for someone who’s never heard about Shamanism someone who’s never heard about store to will it was literally everywhere I looked I would walk into the place where I was interning and they had a booger and it was literally jump off at the Shelf at me every time I walked into the room is all I could see and I knew that there was something to it and so at that point I began to read Sandra ingerman book on Soul retrieval mending the fragmented self and she’s a psycho therapist you have the same training as me looking at the soul as having these different parts of ourselves that if we become traumatize we go through a situation that is truly not ideal it could be a really hard partnership we’re fighting with that partner a lot it could be having some kind of sexual or physical abuse from her child in a car accident where the situation is really hard on us on our souls in that part of our soul actually say I don’t want to be here anymore and we’ll innocence check out or disassociate if we’re looking through the lens of psychology and I was looking at this and say oh I disassociate here and here and here looking for my childhood looking to different parts of my life looking through this horrific experience I have with my marriage and realizing that part of my soul my soul laugh and realizing that I had so much so lost and I needed to learn more and it was at that time that I saw that there was a training for soul retrieval and it was like I haven’t had it yet I knew I have I have to go and you know me while I’m taking these classes on Shamanism and I’m connecting through the beat of the drums going into the state of brain waves state to through meet with my power animal is my spirit guide something I had never thought about doing before so that went to this class and began to learn it and all of my Spirit guides came to me and finally you’re here to quit your job this is your life to me like I was the teacher asking me and I you know they had more training than I did in many cases and here they were coming to me for the answers night I just like I knew that it was it was really wacky experience and what ended up happening was I saw the training for soul retrieval and it was you know about $3,000 to get the tickets to New Mexico and to pay for the program in the housing and my flight cost and I said well I need $3,000 and within 3 days I had $3,000 because I had been introduced to another client I was still doing the dominatrix work I was doing independently now and I have one client just couldn’t get enough of me for that particular week and within that week I had made my rent for the next month and I had made 3000 extra dollars and it was for the training I knew it I needed a few days before and here it was so easy so I ended up going to I had to do all this preliminary training this woman so the turn me away initially and then she came back because I’m so sorry my Spirit guides told me I have to train you and I need to put my judgments of whether you’re ready or not a side because you are supposed to do this training and so long story short I end I’ve been completely supported by the universe to do this sort Uber work and what I found with that was not only was it so empowering it got me my power back from a many incidences in my past I had alluded to having some sexual abuse with a neighbor that repeated itself as a father and as I was in the doll that got raped by one of my neighbors and going back to the original wound getting my power back from how when I was five to seven I wasn’t able to stand up for myself and getting my power my innocence my Purity back and then being able to get my power back as an adult from what it happened to me and going back to my marriage and going back to the church and taking some power back that I had given away because you know the Church of shavings my body or shavings me as a woman being in my power and I ended up getting all this power back from different parts in my life and I also was getting this message to write my story so I began to write about being a Dominatrix and writing all of these different scenarios and role play partaking in writing about my past and just creating a story this Memoir of my life and realizing that the ending was unfolding as I was writing as I began to learn about Shamanism Soul retrieval it occurred to me that I could shift out of this old pattern of this empowerment not by playing or talking or painting my way to my power in fact all of those tools that I learned are so helpful for cultivating awareness of what is missing or how it last for all of a sudden I had this additional tool about how to get your power back so we look at indigenous societies and we look at cultures all around the world I was trained primarily at least initially in a practice called core Shamanism where we look at what are the core beliefs what are the core practices there consistent cross-culturally that are all pretty much and that’s an bolts the same even if every culture does it slightly differently and what I found was all these cultures had a practice cold sore tooth what it was believed that moment to travel within a few days and if you miss that Feud a range in this case we do it many years later and sometimes for our ancestors who are not able to do the work for themselves we can go back to that space of the original wounding of the original disempowerment and we can actually get that power back you go into this non-ordinary state where it’s almost like it’s we’re on our way to shopping list under three planes there’s the lower World Topper World the middle world in the middle world is where there’s us and time does not exist we also see that ghost and fragmented Soul Parts get stuck here so someone is how to travel part of their soul leaves that part of their soul become stuck so you can access this particular route through the shamanic lens and you can gather up that person’s energy and its purest form the part that left because of the trauma and then physically bring that back and blow that into the person either in person or long-distance it works just the same and that person can been in body that part of themselves that they lost and I was finding that looking at my own life and looking at the clients that I had been working with and seeing these stories of this empowerment that’s what we were trying to get at we were dancing around what part of your power is lost what part of your Purity what part of your confidence what part of yourself love it depending on what happened you can access that particular emotion in its fullest vibrant healthy form and bring it back and I found that what I was doing like many of my other clients were trying to fill this void where they felt like part of the show was missing and they were trying to figure out a way to make it okay a way to make a consensual or a way to create the space for them to become more aware of what was missing and something else I found it very interesting that was happening in the dungeon was that I was connecting with people beforehand we go in and meet them and agree to whatever scenario you would be playing out what kind of role play scenarios that was what I specialize that I was specializing in role-play so I got a lot of Storytelling through the work that I was doing and my clients would have the story in a very specific role play and we would agree on it when it says Shake on it and then I would say you know what kind of outfit you want me to wear what kind of personality do want me to come in or just come into the room just embodying that character that they wanted me to work with and when I was Finding was these people were seems really great okay wonderful we have a wonderful agreement here and we’re consenting to this particular store line I would come back in and it was almost as if the person that I talked to was no longer in their body their eyes would change their eyes would sometimes go black or dark and it was almost like they were no longer in their bodies and especially during episodes where they wanted to be severely beaten or severely punished or become very submissive to a degree that felt like there was another story playing out that was actually quite traumatizing I would see that their eyes would change their was almost like there was something in them that was feeding off being hurt or feeding off the emotion of being punished or spit on or disempowered in some way and it took me many years to actually put together the pieces and realized that in a lot of cases where people have lost their power from an actual trauma when their soul leaves the other energies can come in so we can look at those as psychic attachments demons you can look at that as just inviting sadness or anger or jealousy whatever label you want to put on it it’s sort of a spectrum of what cancer to come into that space But I found that there was something in them that was no longer connected to that playful part I was talking to that I was making a deal with and that there was something that was lower vibrational that was entering into the body or maybe just shifting over because they were triggering this part of this empowerment that was just feeding off of the cycle of being hurt or replaying the abusive situation and so I remember feeling very uncomfortable very comfortable making an agreement with someone coming in and stealing I don’t feel safe anymore this is not the person I agreed with and this person now feels very scary and make sure that in some of these situations I was in an empowered roll truly and not just playing one so that I could make sure that I could keep my safety because in some cases it was almost like a situation so I began to realize that as I continue to do the shamanic work that these energies can come in and that some of these people were so the acting out of this other lower vibration place and not necessarily wanting to go and heal the story but wanting to perpetuate and see something that was still wanting to replay the story if that makes sense wow do you feel like you have me a more sure about that the journey or can I give some some thoughts and on what we’ve come share so far. So I’d be happy to hear your Reflections and answer anything in more detail that use it getting chills because I really I really wanted to hear these words spoken in another voice cuz I’ve had these experiences really on multiple sides of a lot of what you’ve talked about I’m I’m a Survivor it took me years to discover sexual healing through Tantra and soul retrieval through psychedelic Shamanism and ceremony and and I have been leaving those paths together and having a lot of the same Revelations and also taking a more clinical psychotherapeutic approach as well to be able to translate these esoteric principles and phenomena into language that can be medically standardized in a way so that we can treat it in a way where would the work you’re doing is truly a knowledge so this is like my big passion is to hear these words spoken the way that you’re saying I’m with that Authority in that and the credentials to get this to progress cuz we need to be able to offer Hands On Healing we need to be able to offer these very deeply involved like you say the role-playing and you’re not going to get that in most of the boundaries that are set up in you know the psychotherapeutic in psychiatric Industries really so thank you just so much being on this Edge synthesis and a few things that I want to explore a little bitter or zoom into will be so I when you sit when you’re talking about the the changeover that you can see in the eyes shifting when you get into these these states with the client I’ve kind of use the language that it seems like a discovery is that evil will fill a vacuum of love and that love is the disinfectant from the parasitic attachments or for the parasitic attachments to get kind of scraped off like Barnacles off of a I’d like use the metaphor fewer if you go down to any doctor you know when you see boats moored at the slips you’ll see people that are in you know scuba gear getting paid to scrape off the Barnacles and the seaweed and all the things that attach to it that would slow it down in the water and that’s the routine maintenance thing like this soul is the same way it seems where you have to do if you don’t have a self-care practice or you know shamanatrix to call you’re going to have those things growing because it’s an ecosystem in the astral plane so do you want to talk about maybe what time since you have some of the Clairvoyant abilities what are you if you’ve been able to you know see and maybe describe a little bit about what these entities or these organisms use