In hyperspace all of my intellectual understandings of the feminine divine gush out of my normally linguistically confined cortex and flood my body as I dance naked to psytrance music at a thunderous volume.
All that tantric theory comes alive and I become the sacred dance of Shiva and Shakti. The god/goddess energies flow through my delicate fleshy human frame and it feels like every cell is writhing in orgasmic ecstasy.
Without entheogenic amplifiers that plug me into the transcendent currents of the earth and the cosmos, the visual fantasies I daydream about are fleeting abstract projections. But with them, the pineal juices flow and the third eye conducts an orchestra of orgiastic imagery not on the typical 2d screen of the minds eye, or even 3d, it’s multidimensional.
When I conjure up images of female beauty, I don’t just see frames of the center folds that the patriarchal culture has tried to sell me that flatten my experience and make me a consumer of an objectified product. I don’t have a thin and shallow lust for the culturally conditioned standard of beauty. I actually become the feminine divine. I shape shift into a curvy breasted being made of milk and honey.
I’m somewhat androgynous, about 25% gay, but not particularly fem, I just like the way it feels to engender the sacred union internally, which is the prerequisite to be achieved before hoping to create sacred union with a partner. It’s a fractal phenomenon, self-similar at all scales. Learn to balance the feminine and masculine within, then build outward with one or more others. The potential to consciously perform the balancing act of energies is what allows us humans to grace the predator/prey landscape of life on earth with magical divine co-creativity.
At one point of extreme trance dancing, I realized that having rented the Carmen Electra strip-tease workout video wasn’t just out of some giggly horny impulse. I actually like to dance that way, it feels great, it kills the toxic destructive male ego to stir up the feminine divine within. Without the need to be macho and constantly hold back the natural drive to be peacefully sensual, a man can know true freedom. Sacred sensual erotic dance is for everyone. In essense, it says to the divine feminine what Terence Mckenna said to the Mushroom as it came on to him, “Take me I’m yours, take me I’m yours.”
I think about how much psychic energy gets expended everyday in the world just to maintain homophobic masculine identities. What a tiring waste. In the movie Eyes Wide Shut, there’s a poignant scene where Tom Cruise is walking down the street at night kind of taking a weird dream-like tour of bizarre manifestations of human sexuality. At one point a mob of frat jocks walk by and verbally attack him in a frenzy of explicit homophobic hate speech. I see this a lot, because there is no healthy acceptable outlet for men to experience their femininity and explore their innate curiosities, they’re constantly frustrated and obsessed with verbalizing and visualizing aggressive homosexual acts with each other. They’re constantly accusing each other of wanting to engage in what they say is unthinkable, yet there they are thinking about it all the time.
Back to my own trip, I grew into liberated politics as a punk runaway that would go into the local all ages queer nightclub in Portland to avoid the curfew and be safe inside the strobe–lit, techno pounded walls until sun-up. There I was exposed to a vast array of genders and sexualities, all entraining to the beat, dancing and expressing a kaleidoscopic rainbow of divine masculine and feminine beauty. It was sexydelic and I loved it.
It was many years later as an anthropology student that I discovered the existence of the little known primate species called Bonobos. They’re pigmy chimps that make love not war. They resolve conflict and maintain peace and egalitarian social bonds by having non-reproductive intercourse across sexes, constantly. They’re also an extremely rare example of primate matriarchy. Through elaborate circles of sisterhood, they keep the male ego in check and never let the males believe that they can dominate. Males are meticulously trained to remain humble and respectful. It’s as if the females know instinctively that the male ego is a dangerous volatile force that has to be carefully managed to ensure the absence of violence and domination.
As obscure as they are in the primate world and in the collective consciousness of our culture, they just happen to be the most genetically similar to us of all the other primates.
We didn’t directly evolve from them, however it stands to reason that we evolved along similar paths. If you buy into the obsolete orthodox Darwinian evolutionary religion, you’d have to believe that Bonobos and humans arrived at their/our unique extra-reproductive sexual instincts by some errant genetic defect for which nature hasn’t had a reason to squeeze out of the gene pool. But I this is monkey shit. To help bury the idea that life forms are purely the result of purposeless random mutation, I like to reference an analogy I heard on a Tony Robbins tape once that went something like: to believe that there’s no intelligent creator of life is like believing that the Webster’s dictionary is the result of a random explosion at a print factory.
Entheogens provide the experiential percept, rather than the belief-based precept, that there is a divine force of creation, or many perhaps. Who/what/where-ever they/it/she/he is/are doesn’t matter to me as much as the fact that some form of organizing consciousness is actually pulling us forward into an ever more complex biological being that can experience ever more depth and texture of sensuality.
We’ve lost all of the defensive and offensive biological weapons and shields. We don’t have fangs, claws, spikes, venom, talons, etc. We don’t have an exoskeleton, we don’t have a shell, we can’t run very fast, we can’t see behind us, we can’t smell our enemies, or sense their vibrations, we can’t see all that well, we can barely even defend ourselves against the cold.
If we’re not here to fight or flee, what “f” word does that leave?
We are the naked ape. Why? Because somehow a few genes failed to switch on somewhere back down the evolutionary ladder, that’s definitely part of it, but not the whole story. There is always a dynamic dance going on between environment and consciousness, but in the case of humans, there is so much more going on. The rate of drastic change that led to our neo-cortex, our nervous system, our linguistic apparatus, simply does not compute within the temporal/mathematical framework of random mutation according to evolutionary theory. Our DNA was definitely a designer piece, somehow injected into the primate world.
Every culture on Earth is an attempt to explain this mystery. For most of human history, cultures embraced the mystery and approached it in a state of love and reverence, not fear and violence. One of my tantra teachers describes a rough dichotomy in human culture. He says that prior to a few thousand years ago, all human cultures were inherently tantric, they lived in a sensuous way, enjoying life through the body and connecting to the divine through it. Then as the patriarchal dominator culture emerged out of domestication and civilization, a new relationship to the body began to colonize to globe: asceticism, the denial of the body as divine, the living in the head, in the ego. As the male ego’s obsession with control lost its balance with femininity and nature, the body and all of its magical wonders became just a vehicle for reproduction and war to accumulate ever greater amounts of artificial power and wealth. Study eco-feminism to get the most complete story you can find on this shift, suffice it to say here that this tragic twist of fate has betrayed our nature, our biology, and our designer’s dream to make sweet love to all of us through our peaceful, bare, defenseless, goddess worshipping bodies.
Terence Mckenna wrote and spoke at length about how the shift from partnership to dominator cultures was also rooted in the loss of connection to sacred plant medicines which help to regulate and diminish the male ego. He also points out that with the systematic eradication of the shamanic meme, a pharmacological shift happened as well. We didn’t just lose the ethnobotanical leash on the male ego, the leash became a whip that aggravated it with the rise of alcohol, which has inflamed the male ego.
Where there are plants there is peace, where alcohol is poured there is war.
There are so many aspects of the true fall of man to explore. I just wanted to name a few.
The main point of this writing is not to focus too much on the causal chain of historic and prehistoric events, but rather to look at the end result.
The naked ape that was designed for peace and love is now dominated by an insidious reversion to the alpha male syndrome. This is not human nature, we haven’t always been at war, the primitive are not the savage, our hominid ancestors didn’t club women and drag them into caves by the hair.
We evolved beyond patriarchal primate behavior long ago, and developed co-operative, psychedelic, loving, ecstatic proliferating goddess worshipping cultures that had managed to live sustainably as gatherer/hunters in virtually every different type of terrestrial environment. In short, through the mechanisms of peace, love, and plants we were able to cooperatively adapt to diverse environments without the need to conquer and colonize. It was not our nature to become conquerors and colonizers as a species, but sadly the potential to revert to a dominator mode has always been latent in our DNA.
Now we’re horribly off course and have wasted so much imagination, creativity, ingenuity, and innovation not to further our connection to each other, the earth, and the stars as we had for so long, but to create an epigenetic de-evolutionary descent into battle mode.
This is not to say that there was never any violence or weapons or warriors, but in shamanic warrior cultures there were limits to the destructive urge, there were still councils of elders that regulated the individual and collective male egos. There was still a tantric paradigm. People still had spiritual connections to the land, to each other, and to their bodies so warfare was not just a game of kings to whom young men were just chess pawns, it was dare I say, sacred violence?
Anyway, it dawned on me one time as I got into my divine feminine psytrance dance, that we were evolved to be beautiful and vulnerable so that we can experience more in life than a constant game of cat and mouse between predator and prey. As I was dancing and feeling so infinitely sensual there alone in the dark, with amplified senses and perception I could see into other dimensions. I became aware of the looming presence of predatory hyper-beings who were rushing toward me like alien insectoid sea creatures. They could sense my shell-lessness, my sweet squishiness and they were intent on devouring me. I felt truly helpless, but as in all altered states, you have to get a grip and seal the fear valve quickly before you fall into a dark abyss or get dragged into one kicking and screaming. You have to morpho-generate pretty pictures of unicorns and rainbows and you’ll instantly evoke the goddess and she’ll be there to protect you and ward off all the evil spirits that would do you harm. It’s as if in hyperspace, you’re not seeing things that aren’t normally there, rather you’re seeing things that are always there. The hyper-beings that feast on and metabolize human psycho-kinetic energies come in many forms and can only be seen with certain psycho-microscopic lenses as Timothy Leary might say…
In the interdimensional ecology of hyperspace, some beings perceive and treat us the way western society perceives and treats livestock, some beings conduct painful experiments on us the way vivisectors do to lab animals, some of them are intrigued by us and welcome us as lost travelers and act as guides into other realms. Many of them love us and want to share our bodies and experience ecstasy with and through us. But to all of them, we must surrender and let go of the shadow self. A mind full of negative thoughts and emotions is like blood in shark infested waters, while a mind full of love is a like a seeping maple tree in a forest full of deer. The mystery of enlightenment is solved by becoming lighter and stripping away the scar tissue, the toxic residue, the thought viruses, the ego, the resentment, the hatred, the guilt, the shame, the fear and be nursed like a baby in the luminous ethereal omnipresent arms of the eternal/infinite feminine divine.
Coming back to “reality” it was very clear to me that to be naked apes is very dangerous. We had to take really good care of each other to survive for 200,000 years or more. We had become very close in our tribal relationships and relationships with plants, prey species, etc.. We are so fragile, so interdependent. We’re so incapable of surviving alone, we’d be dead in days or weeks without the constant love and care of the tribe. We’re as defenseless as worms, but in trading in our shells and claws, we received the gift of the most prolonged intense pleasure potential of any other form of life on earth. And we were given the gifts of our unique highly complex brains, and our hands, our linguistic apparatus, etc. We are here to love and create, not hate and destroy. It’s as if the scared male ego wants to use our creative capacity to turn everything into a claw or a shell. Either hide from his true loving nature, or beat it out of someone else.
What a shame.
Imagine what we’d have accomplished by now had we stayed Gaian minded, egalitarian, tantric, goddess worshiping. Imagine if all of the grand wonders of civilization were done in the name of the goddess. What would our largest structures and statues be shaped like? What depths of innerspace would we have explored? How many people would be in a “nuclear family”? How many sharp, toxic, and otherwise lethal objects and substances would there be to teach every child to fear? What would be the number one cause of death? What would high tech computers be made of, and what would they be used for? Would we fly with fighter jets or with levitation? Would we swim in nuclear submarines or as mermaids?
I subscribe to Terence Mckenna’s time wave theory which states that the universe is an engine of novelty that over ever shorter epochs of time produces ever more complex integrated biological and cultural forms and systems with peaks and valleys of novelty fractally positioned throughout. So there is a fundamental law of nature which is, in a dirty word, progress. As an anarcho-primitivist I always fought the idea of progress as an enemy but now I see that it’s not that simple because to me it’s perhaps one of the only undeniable laws of nature. So you can’t stop progress…but you can stop patriarchy.
Patriarchy and it’s perversion and diversion of primate evolution is what has thwarted Gaia’s project to advance our species from the warlord chimps to Homo Sexydelicus, the naked entheogen seeking biological sex machines that we were each born to be, when we are born to be wild.