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Escaping the Matrix and Living the Dream of Wild Romance TPP244

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In this episode I share an important announcement that I’ve fallen in love with a land project and will be living the dream of romance with the wilderness

My Non-Verbatim Show Notes:

working on a land project

from now on daily reports, maybe stack them up if their short

my state of nature to be in the hills, the forest, the trees

most actualized life chapters, where I’ve been blessed to serve gaia and some sort of wealthier than me matriarch of a peace of property

there’s often been a romance novel cover mystique going on

i’ve been an ecological gigolo to some extent, luckily not the situation now

hasn’t always worked out the best

now clearing up karma, and maturing, and growing up stuff, more aware of red flags

in twilight of 30s feeling, this is the next best chapter

peaks and valleys of life

peaks when out there, feeling free, devotion to nature spirits, deep listening to the will of the ancestors of the land

i’m a paint brush for the land, soil repair, soil building, interdimensional source of healing, being a bandage on the land

in harmony with the human needs, the land needs, the soil needs,

social permaculture design, dabbling feng shui,

i really feel the energy flows when there is order brought to the disorder

the disorder of junk and clutter and generations agricultural paradigm shifting, so many different hazards, and decaying and rotting materials, really becomes a meditation to keep the surface of your skin intact, when you’re harvesting scavenged materials, when you’re gathering and macguevering, and a-teaming up a design

beautiful multidimensional, fully immersive art project, those are the peaks

the valleys are the times when i have to do the daily grind in the city, which i have been doing, almost full time, mostly urban permaculture installation work with various crews, in that sense morale is always dragging, its great to have solidarity, working for clients, seeing the transformation, flipping lawns to gardens

nudging the paradigm slowly, being the flagship project in suburban neighborhoods, it’s fulfilling and rewarding, more than most jobs

been blessed to work with super flexible and gracious teams,

understanding of LA traffic and respect for need for autonomy

crews have been so grateful for my help, and flexible with my schedule

installing drought tolerant native plants, sculpting land for rainwater catchment, all different techniques applied to make a site more sustainable, but at the end of the day, we’re still installing pvc, still using toxic glue that kills your brain, there’s this juxtaposition of the conventional paradigm, and the ancient futuristic permaculture paradigm, i strongly dislike to be such a purist radical, but i want to be doing this work and this play and this art in a more taoistic sense, not treading so hard on the earth, not just blazing in, what’s expected as contractors,

the hustle, the life of the contractor, cheep beer, nightly ejaculation, coffee every day, junk food

i want to be the barefoot gardener, who listens to the plant, doesn’t use any toxic material, re-use materials on site, an artisan approach

it’s a huge luxury because few people want to pay for workers to work slow

being a worker, whether your boss is an angel or demon, i’ve been very blessed

but it kills my soul not to be working for myself

at the end of every day you’re back to square one, making very little progress on your own property or your own garden

it’s draining and demoralizing

i’ve been very frugal, so that i can save and hodl crypto and to the hodl plus strategy from the bitcoin podcast, you’re not spending frivolously on anything, cutting expenses to the bone so you don’t have to sell off, do good by your future self, let your days be gifts to your future self, dollar cost averaging, stacking sats, always adding to your stash of whatever fraction of bitcoin you squirrel away for the future

assuming the overall uptrend is going to continue

on and off about 15 years I go from working for other people on their sites on their projects, just doing a daily grind to having way more spacious freedom to put all of my effort into a single site which feeds me, which shelters me if possible, which serves the intent and mission of the owner of the property, where you feel like a samurai gardener, I’m a landless peasant in the grand scheme of things, but when I can break free of daily grind of traffice, and commuting, but be steeped in an ecosystem where one day builds on the next

you develop this map of all the materials, where the plants are where the water flows, what the neighbors are like, what local sources of seeds and compost, and it becomes a grand theater

as adventurous as any video game ever was, the holistic fulfillment of it, moments where things really snap together is way beyond a video game, it’s not virtual reality its reality

you get to have heart opening, experience

every time you bump into a new plant or critter you hadn’t noticed and you get to study their beauty and no one tells you your slacking off cuz your vibing with a creature

tarot card reading, spoiled to take a step away from steady pay check, leap of faith, but knowing it’s the right thing for my soul to be focusing doing what I know best

this time under far better sexual political dynamics

its been a huge problem in the past

what do you call the drummer who breaks up with his girl friend, homeless

build karma, not destroy it

a lot to appreciate, significance of transition

it’s the bug out location, I’ve been living in bug out mode

prepper’s have a language of bug out bags, bugging in, bugging out

dug in for another round of zombie apocalypse training camp survival paradise, lots of fun

forest garden of eden music video as archival footage/portfolio/demo reel of my permaculture projects

shows the timeline of my evolution, urban, suburban, rural projects

feel like it’s the crown chakra of a career, feeling like I won the game, of course it’s just another level and the game continues, but you finish a level and you’re on to a new one, really in resonance with life energy

not as much of a horny whipper snapper

dakini said you go from testosterone arousal to oxytocin arousal cycle

I’d rather just do me tonight, I don’t feel pressure to go out and get laid somewhere, never successful at hooking up, never had a one-night stand

all that is to say, I’m still not interested in settling down with a woman, but settling down with the land, without feeling like a loser if not getting laid every night

many years of involuntary celibacy, I had no game
some blame I could point at those who traumatized me, but have to point at myself for not manning up sooner

dakini says you’re shifting your sex drive towards oxytocin

20 years of holding up a “Free Boners” sign, eventually had to take it down because it’s all gone, if you didn’t jump on it, it’s gone

a woman’s got to put in effort to turn me, because it’s not like it’s my first rodeo and I’m going to have a panic attack, because “it’s actually happening”

thinking about coming of age, a woman’s body is an enigma during puberty, a woman’s body is like a ufo, it’s that alien

then it’s a balance after you’ve been deflowered, do you get spoiled, do you take it for granted, do you lose that awe, and honor and respect?

Twins movie, cynical line about how virgins respect women, then lose it once they become players

hitting the nerve of the tragic sense, in the words of Garth Algar, I’m no longer a stranger to the ways of the woman or something to take effect, how long do you retain that sense of awe and wonder

I feel like it’s been painful, but a healthy balance to go through this life mostly celibate

I told myself the other day, no matter what women did, how long it lasted, how it ended, at least you know that you told the women you love that you love them, that’s all you can do

there’s always a list of people you’re chasing, and people who’re chasing you, people you’re running from and running to

Kenneth Ray Stubs on the podcast said to the effect of, when I was younger I was too horny to meditate, it took until I was older to be able to do the advanced spiritual practices

Growing up I didn’t catch the jokes about men’s waning virility, now they sting when I watch movies where those jokes were made

the first lost erection feeling like a transmission drops, WTF!

Was making love, pretty stoned, it could have been that, but at the age of 35, what’s wrong with me, I’m not feeling completely mind blown, lost the youthful sense of 100% immersion in electrifying stimulation, maybe we lost the spark, but it was unexpected because my lingam had never been uncooperative before, never been asexual but had to imagine that’s the feeling of dissociation from the actualized

then there’s the coolidge effect, men become sugar daddies to younger women, older women become cougars to younger men

I didn’t intend for this podcast to go this direction but it’s on point because, you can’t leave the city if you’re still chasing women, because you can’t see beyond the weekend

the need to get off, the compulsion to ejaculate, the compulsion to not be alone, to not be single, the horrific discontent to not be in a relationship

dating apps hamster wheel, slot machine crank of dating apps, mining old friends to see if their single yet, all consuming, ego self esteem, hormones

luckily I never was too spoiled, definitely still women who make the “shwing effect” happen like clock work, so it’s not game over, but it’s an interesting limbo state of I’m still extremely passionate I still feel a lot of eros, but it’s less hormonal and it’s more of an oxytocin mode, so the way women want to feel emotional attention that’s what turns me on, often that’s the gripe and why tantric men are in demand because the should be able to speak to the heart

in early days, of man I’ve got blueballs, or I’m going to prematurely ejaculate, a man is trying to calm himself down and meet the shakti, shakti can be raging like a stormy sea, but you gotta be the storm that creates the waves of shakti, bring the energy in

now I feel more like a woman
not interested in having drunk unsafe hook up sex, jealous that I missed out, but not interested any more

turned down a lot of sex in the last few years, we need to spend time designing a designer way to share energy and practice sex magic

not all women have the patience for developing a deep practice

now with a bit of financial security, ability to grow and compound financial permaculture and financial continence

deeper practice in resonance with the tao

in order to garden safely, or safer, not getting scratched, so many hazards, staff infection, getting sliced up, bundling raw garlic into gauze, blazing through, same energy approaching women

it’s a beautiful sweet spot to have some savings, make a property profitable and pay for itself, do sweat equity, multiple value and revenue streams, things start as a trickle, like a spring, a tiny drip, you can do a bit of earth works and store more water

financial healing, establishment of wealth and a slower more mature, more mid lifey kind of energy and approach

I think this is gonna be a good decade, a new way of inhabiting the body, more taoist and slower paced way of working on a land project

do the best permaculture, some people say don’t do anything on the land until a year of pure observation, just meditate and watch patterns

they say 99 hours of design and 1 hour work, verse 1 hour of design and 99 hours of work

the yield you get from more observation, you have a deeper more expansive diverse way to get the most elegant solution

kick down fertility system, one animal’s output because input for another

never before have I had such grace walking a piece of land where I can just move very slowly
in emergencies and disasters you do have to hustle, but if you don’t rush and you don’t run, and you’re not hustling daily, you really have a million times less chance of injury, and breaking things, tripping, hurting someone else, spilling something, over pouring something, every clumsy cartoon thing, it always comes from that financial knife at your back,just digging into you, I need to hustle to finish this job because it’s by the job and not hourly, or I need to be busy because everyone else is busy

its not healthy, it’s not sane, it’s super dangerous

chronic backpain, usually manageable, use some yogic practice

this will be the year of me developing an “on the mat” asana practice, up to now I’d rather being doing combative dancing

haven’t felt called after many exposures to different teachers of “yoga”, but I probably will be doing it more, probably realizing I have been missing out, time to get on the mat to get the benefits of that practice, looking forward to that, all comes back to feeling less rushed, less of a hustle

entrepreneur pushes boulder uphill, the wage earner is running on a hamster wheel

you push the boulder uphill moonlighting, and it slides back down while you’re on the day job hamster wheel, not many get the boulder cruising down the other side of the slope

most people lose their ass for 5 years before they turn a profit, you should be prepared

a lot of gratitude I have for this opportunity, hopefully not having to rush and hustle and speed around and be dangerous, I think I can swing it so there’s a nice balance of going back to work in the city and top off supplies and accounts until I get to a point where there’s a functioning business model producing revenue

glad to document via the podcast, not going to start out with video teaching, not trying to keep up with the Jones’ on social media

after a humble paleo meal of canned and jarred food at the low end of the health food market, no grain, no dairy, no added sugar, I can do a podcast update

hope not to offend vegans, vegetarians, it didn’t work for me, I still have hell to pay, I feel better, body works better, long standing conditions that are not pleasant that most people have, allergies, weak immune system I feel like I’ve strengthened, I feel better now than I did in my 20s

become a bit of a home brewer, its not a vice but it’s a moderate pleasure that I indulge in, holistic debauchery

luckly weened off cheap beer, never really like being drunk, really didn’t like being hung over

falling in love with home brew fermentation, participating with a biological process, gardening the process, it’s a beautiful thing, it’s a blessing, helps to get through some of the lonelier nights, and helps me be intoxicated with the love of the goddess

incel in the flesh, but blessed in the astral realms with dakinis, the romance of the goddess

nice to have some party favors and ritual elements that help to open the 3rd eye and the heart, losing the inhibitions towards the divine feminine sex goddesses, enjoying a more private more solo practice, not feeling the sharp pain of missing the party on friday night, missing the opportunity to socialize and make an appearance, collecting phone numbers

I don’t think there’s a way to avoid it, for me and most men, you’re gonna feel pressure, I dont’ know about next generation, porn and video games causing apathy towards sex, but anyway no way for me to talk about gardening with out talking about sex goddesses, and porno, etc.

intention to refine the masculine energy to put it to work on something constructive

I often think of the feeling, of being on my knees, putting care planting a nursery potted plant, I’m creating its home in the soil, doing this yoni puja this breast massage, that’s the Mr Miyagi, wax on wax off, that’s the permaculture tantra, what I would be teaching my teenage son if I had one. I have a duty of care for people coming of age who discover my work.

I gotta think responsibly about the Deenagers

Gardening as a pathway of restorative justice for sex offenders, a way to train sacred sexuality

Better to be a warrior in a garden, than a gardener in a war

a lot of sex education to be gleaned form a permaculture training experience

the 9th form of capital, sexual permaculture thesis, designing for the energy sector of sexuality in a way that is post-monogamy, post-theological control, post-shame, post-guilt, post-patriarchy, getting to more of a sex at dawn paradigm

always made a joke of about a nude permaculture design course

doesn’t have to be a silly joke, there’s nude yoga

there is a place where this hippy, free love, LSD 60s sexual revolution, now there’s more deeper connection to shamanism, tantra, and permaculture

more intelligence with ecology

people are opening up with relationships, more influenced by tantric practices, despite distractions of social media, video games, and porn, there’s quite a refinement of the seed forms of the 60s

on that trajectory of what was started with my parents, they weren’t the wildest party animals but they were on point with back-to-land projects/training centers

things are evolving

it makes me think about 2012, I was a 2012-er, hard not to be after all the Terrence McKenna, that was a huge pressurized urgent, move fast and break things, that can be very dangerous in a horticultural landscape, we got through it,

I tried to accomplish a lot, I developed the ability to lead by example, I don’t feel the need to tell other people how to live

I think I can be content with this oxytocin based sex drive, with really delicate and deliberate romantic cadence

integrating gardening, heart gardening

I’ve tried to involve lovers in the process, some have been on board, others not

Always tried to seduce women into the garden space, to have them fall in love with the plants and the soil and become as clinging and needed to the land as much as my heart or cock

May only the greenest and purest of hearts and souls and minds be a part of my dark green magic from here on out

I have the blessing to play my cards right and put in my best efforts

Try to live by the 4 agreements, hopefully the problems to have will get better and better and the solutions will as well

learning to study patterns, ala the Permaculture Designer’s Manual

spend a night on youtube watching permaculture videos

Bill Mollison and David Holmgren, developed the design science, it’s like a bundled package of ecology and anthrology, engineering, earth sciences, economics, an amazing array of interdisciplinary approach to sustainable human settlement design, zero waste, there’s a lot to unpack

the simple way I can put it, whereas Ted K. went into the words and became coercive, Bill M decided to apply the wisdom of the forest and fight back with positivism, designer ecologies that function as elegant and efficient as a forest

it’s movement, sometimes think it’s elitist, its not religious, it’s not ideological, it’s scientific

if you’re gonna be an architect you’re going to have to learn all kinds of different roles and laws of how things work

we’re building civilizations with toxic materials, slaves, requires wars, and all kind of hell, we could be building our settlements according to design principles of nature

making sure there’s zero waste

you could live in a designer forest where everything that you placed in that designer forest is useful or beneficial, food, fiber, fodder

hydrates, seeds, extends itself

use the template of the wild forest, in that template you plug in edibles, medicinals, benefit that plants, animals, the soil, agro forestry is another term

not square gardens of patches and rows, not fields, not orchards, not monocrop

that’s the least efficient, most lethal and toxic

Just like Bruce Lee, Jeet Kune Do, bringing stuff together

There’s no other game in town, it’s an open source technology, not controlled by a central entity, it’s a decentralized movement by design

saw a beautiful luscious wild RABBIT, seemed quite healthy, I got a sense from seeing it that it was very happy and healthy

cackling of COYOTES in all directions

SQUIRRELS scurrying about

a shiny LADY BUG, unmistakable red dot, always a reminder to my analogy about the goddess Kali as a beneficial predator that helps you control the garden pests, as above so below, as within so without

found a big sprawling cuban oregan plant, respect to the Sunset Nursery for supplying my first plant, my favorite local nursery

CUBAN OREGANO like a succulent, big juicy flaps, meaty, has texture

lone BLACK SOLDER FLY larvae, made a new compost bin for it, affinity as the smokey ash black reminds me of my encounters of the dark goddess

ROSEMARY BUSH

Bromance with lead designer/land keeper, holism, spirituality, martial arts, being fuck yeah stoked about everything you’re vibing on, whether biking or skating or punk shows or girls, the excitement and enthusiasm for working together in a really harmonious way, playing fort, having that be doing this really fun stuff and trying to be productive and profitable, and create value, community, and education

Don’t like the word retreat, would rather be making an advance, what if Burning Man and the Rainbow Gathering happened at Occupy Wall street?…

The word retreat is not my favorite word for spiritual gatherings or workshop gatherings, for lack of a better word, we’re both on that path of building a robust spiritual holistic, regenerative tool set, guinea pigging things on our selves, battle test our immune systems, our diets, not just lead by example but all take on clients

my dual life as a sort of renaissance sex worker of sorts, don’t know what to call myself now, sort of artisan, somewhere between a professional and hobbyist in that realm

this is a place where my dear brothers could circle up for some deep men’s work

don’t want to be a cult leader, taking extreme precaution from becoming a cult of personality

precluding that possibility is a part of design

excess manure is lethal poison if not designed to integrate in a dispersed manner to feed the soil

music icons vs cult leaders

ethics and responsibility of meme producers

its all about rotation, it’s all about decentralization, the term is an ensemble cast that’s the solution to patriarchy, to dictatorship, share the love share the power, share the influence, know when to delegate, know when to lift other people up above you, I’m gonna try my best, by all means accept feedback, look at shadow

I left the same work crew in 2014 to go to the northwest to live out the dream of romance with a piece of property

When I left Babylon then, my dear eco-bro said, “Do Good”, so I’m gonna try to do good again this time

Permaculture or tantra, like ida and pingala, they’re complimentary

Daily Podcasting As a Path of Liberation from the Rat Race TPP234

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Tree Kissing

In this episode I announce my intention to publish daily podcasts!

Here are my (non-verbatim) notes:

Daily podcast intended for years

all in divine timing, probably is

when I first had the idea to do almost daily podcast, look back at who I was, maturity level, wasn’t that long ago, but at this moment I feel more refined and more comfortable with what I intend to represent, what I have been digesting and composting and pruning in terms of my ego and aspirations

a few years from now I’ll look back and say I should have waited til I was more mature, but the genie is out of the bottle now

the survival podcast, started listening sub 100 episodes, was able to binge all the way to the beginning, my beloved at the time, we kind of eloped together, without getting married actually, but moving in together living together, a little over 10 years ago now

both had been punk but we not preppers, squatters, travelers, train hoppers to some extent, that was the vibe, mad max, radical self sufficient, traveling crusters, by whatever mode of travel had to become very cunning resourceful urban survivalists, survivalists in own right as traveling punks, in different manners throughout our youth

I remember it clearly now, giving the history of what led up to why the daily podcast is the right to do, a million reasons I could tell myself this is not the right thing to do, I’ll put my foot in my mouth, but I’m not gonna listen to the voice of fear

we lived together, tried to break out of the punk ghetto, she was more successful than me, the women I love and make love to are often more successful than me, it’s been the case, and it’s been humbly, so we were living together we were surviving together, in some ways thriving

but undertaking for her to uproot to live with me in so cal, that was really, one of those things you do in your 20s kinda thing, hopefully, not to say that that’s wrong, but…

her dad’s thesis on his daughter having “fuck you money” to be able to leave a toxic relationship, family wisdom, any circumstance where you need to “bug out”

she made much more money than that $500 fuck you budget money, but we did talk about that, the relationship was a project to practice loving arts, it was an open relationship, had some beautiful moments where that was expressed

it was a beautiful time, a blissfully ignorant and painfully ignorant time

she was slightly tortured by my obsession with the survival podcast which is just the most, bitter sweet thing sometimes, but mostly sweet but sometimes bitter sweet

she was into my enthusiasm for getting more deeply into our prepping strategies, that was the time of the financial collapse, I remember the moment I went on line to find a survival podcast, news stories about successful upper middle class families, murder suicide pacts of parents to killselves and children because of threat of losing their house and their comfortable life style, stories like this every, horrific, extreme madness and violence around losing this ill-gotten homes, I’m not a scholar on it, I just remember the feeling at the time, didnt have a clue about the financial bullshit going on, but on the news headlines like that, but one story that got me searching for survival, there was a family who had a mini van that they did their commuting in and someone had cut the fuel line, ciphoned the gas out of the tank, the next day the family turn on the car and it blew up and they all died, that struck fear into my heart and that was 4 years before 2012, I was into the time wave, terrence mckenna

feelings of helplessness and foolishness around survival strategies, this is how apocalyptic it was, I remember the gas prices, everyone remembers that, its fuckin mad max, that was what the whole premise was based on or, go-juice I think that’s what dennis hopper called it water world, I could be wrong, or incorrect, hahah

long story long, when I felt that way I searched for a podcast on survival, I found a few that seem to have faded out or weren’t that great, then I found the survival podcast, the best, daily episodes, his marketing strategy as a professional marketer was that in order to a part of people’s rhythm in life you wan tto be there on a daily basis, be there while they’re at the gym, commuting, doing the dishes, doing a hobby if you can entertain and educate, and be consistent, he’s one of the few people who made it a daily exercise, he suffered greatly, sleep was sacrificed to a degree, there was a lot of road rage involved, that was over 10 years ago, so I’ve been what they call a tsp-er, for all these years, I for damn sure someday better have something to show for it, with all due respect to myself, there have been times where I felt like was an exemplary student of the podcast, given the resources I had, playing the game of actually implementing the reasonable practical and no excuse, doing everything by the book according to a methodology that he synthesized from service in the military, corporate executive, entrepreneur, understanding procedures and protocols, how to be taught, how to teach, really effectively instill very practical skills and philosophies into people in a very efficient manner, very effective

anyone who listens to the podcast in their hearts wants to look in the mirror and say to yourself, want to know subconsciously that I’m not half assing the very critically important reasonable balanced, sane rational obligatory fundamental basic of really being an adult if you want a look at it, being a survivalist is being an adult, I could paraphrase, I don’t want to get into the beloved modern survival philosophies right now, I just want to pay that homage, his daily podcast has been a part of my daily life for over a decade, we want to say I’m not half assing the instructions i’ve been given, to me it’s the heart and soul of divine masculinity without the pretense of the new-ageyness

so he also did a side series all about how to launch your own business and build your own brand, getting established so that you can start to build your crypto currency portfolio, get out of debt, make wise purchasing decisions, get financially savvy, ultimately get access to land where you can really develop your survival retreat or your bug out location, all along having your bug out vehicle, your bug out bag, being prepared to bug in or shelter in place

I’m feeling back in to that time when I started listening every fuckin day, that as a daily spiritual practice, and without being woo-woo, he may not have said this world but ritual, ritual and routine is semantic, tony robbins talks about rituals

there’s a couple other daily podcasts I listen to, mostly its been his, almost every other podcast I listen to which is a lot has been weekly, some maybe twice a week, but most weekly, that’s a good rhythm, but there’s something magical that happens that he tapped into

having so many episodes so well documented with meticulous show notes to where everything is searchable

I don’t think you have too much, just continue to add layers of complexity and depth

gift of gab, and explore the possibility of having enough love from your devotees of listeners that they could help crowd source your liberation from working for the man, you quit your day job, making this your daily contribution to the world, knowing it’s changing lives, saving lives

if you have the ability to be a thought leader, that doesn’t capture it for me, I would say podcast shaman that’s what I feel like he and other folks have done, medicine people, bringing the medicine through this format, different types not claiming necessarily to be that, but effectively being that, the better way is to no call yourself a shaman but to be called a shaman

thinking back to playing it every day with my beloved, I would put a laptop in the car and play it from the laptop so we could both hear it on the way to where I dropped her off then split off

we both derived value, we made a video, a friend of ours going to college for photo journalism class, one of the assignments was to create a small photo journal book, she asked to document my current project, so have have a video and photo journal documentary of our emergency evacuation drill, depicts all of the prepping strategies we had cultivated

we wanted to do a bug out drill where we did every part of a multi page checklist, bug out to secret mountainous retreat location, wild edibles, fresh water, shelter, and sweet spot safe from crazies, cops, yuppies, and the gangsters, those are what you gotta watch out for

we had it figured out, where we were gonna go if shit hits the fan, what we were gonna take, how much water, checklists like unplugging everything from our warehouse artist loft

we wanted to our drill, wanted to test it, a lot of people just buy prepping gear, they don’t test it they don’t use it, they don’t force themselves to rely on it, for me and her for each other, our survival podcast early day’s graduation, it was a class project, completely ungraded, unacknowledged class project, I think that’s what a lot of people do when they fall in love with a podcast and receive guidance

we documented It, the story of the shit hitting our fan so to speak, in terms of the apocalypse and collapse of relationship in it’s localized form, we’re still lovers but in a different way, not sure if she kept listening to the podcast every day, but she appreciated it and she loved me and she loved the empowerment of what we were doing, but I stuck with it and I feel like being unsuccessful is not an option, being continously more successful and more intelligently successful, if I say to any other tsp-er that I’ve been listening for that many years, they’re gonna expect a lot from me, not just a cult or a club or an ego thing, it’s really like, you have no fuckin excuse to be ignorant of so many things that are critical to being an adult in growing the fuck up and being a grown ass man in this world.

And you’re not gonna get that from a weekend retreat of any kind, there’s more there, I should do the service, not the disservice to say is that tsp is a daily podcast that a for over a decade, it’s a living permaculture design in action

the point I’m trying to make is that, its beyond one male ego, it’s beyond himself, it is the skillful integration of the collective wisdom of an entire global nation, a global tribe, of people who are skilled in all the areas you’d want to be autonomous, self sufficient, self reliant, anti fragile

not trying to be an informercial for that podcast, just an opportunity to go down memory lane, to remind myself if I have something to say and feel its important, and not just be me but interview other people, and create a pantheon, of not just thought leaders but people who are really deep and really sincere, on point on a level where they’re ready to give back and ready to up level other people based on what they’ve accomplished, so compounding, so much value in the way that you can elegantly leverage for the benefit of everyone’s coming up in this world, take that sampling of people who are on point with what they’re doing and just keep that going, the magic of the daily ritual, the routine, the magic of a daily podcast that is quality, increasing because no body starts out sounding perfect, that can always evolve, what matters is the soul of the solo episode monologue, the soul of the interview, the soul of the round table, you can feel that

its almost a cliché that to be a podcaster doesn’t mean that you’re broke in your career, it just means it’s a labor of love

it’s not a side effect of tsp daily podcast that he was able to make his incoming be primarily based on the fruits of a daily podcast, very few people have achieved that

she shows how to do this and be successful financially, not just pat yourself on the back and not make a penny, you don’t have to reverse engineer it you can just engineer it because he wrote the fucking manual on it and gave it away for free

he laid out meticulous specifications for his success

so I’m going to, from now on, make some sacrifices and do my best to consistent at higher frequency of publishing content

I’m gonna have to be more diplomatic, I don’t want to be a people pleaser, I don’t everyone to be a bubble person, in terms of not having thick skin, I don’t want to be afraid to offend people, I don’t want to walk on egg shells, but there’s a level of diplomacy that I want to maintain

you mask your authenticity when you behave in a diplomatic manner when you behave towards a plurality of very extreme people in extreme circumstances, I will have to listen back, and edit what comes out of my mouth

its an undertaking, again 5 years from now I’ll probably be kicking myself

but hopefully that 5 years from now I’ll not be working or commuting for anybody else, I’ll be developing my own homestead as he has, I’m a pretty extreme frugal minimalist, and I’ve dialed myself in to a point where all of my endeavors financially can scale, based on an elegant design that has taken years to develop, starting to get traction and really compound, and I have implemented the modern survival philosophy and practicum at various scales and I just want to be a good student, that’s a fair balance aspiration and it goes back to me getting straight a’s in college, wasn’t always my academic attitude, but when I loved a teacher I wanted to show them my respect by implementing full assed what their hard earned wisdom bestowed upon me

and this isn’t my first podcast, at least two before

if you build it they will come, if you can garden that audience, build a brand, provide quality content, or fade out and quit and don’t succeed, right now I’m at a point where I owe it to myself after all these years, lets just say, like they do with the 12 step program, 1 day at a time, one chip at a time, build on your successes

when I was given my tantric devi sadana, daily mantra assignment from my modernish guru, you have to say it for a minimum of 40 days every day, dont expect results right away but do it and be disciplined with it, and study the results, so I think it’s worthwhile at this point to study the results of accelerating the release schedule of the podcast

and I have an important announcement that I’m keeping secret for the moment, it will be days or weeks but not months before I make the announcement that gives context for why the daily podcast will be happening

I’ll just withhold for now, I’m gonna have continence of the mouth, I’m going to practice word retention

its pretty much a 100% certainty, a very exciting announcement will be made very shortly, and there will be a million times more value and more enrichment and enchantment to this podcast happening on an almost daily basis maybe for a month, a year, may be indefinitely but the context is about to get so much better, not just the audio quality but that is a factor

I don’t want to give it away so I’m just gonna leave it at that

so I guess I will ask you to wish me love and ask you to step up and let me know if there are topics that you’d like to have covered, if they’re questions that you have, I’m going to be begging for folks to load me up with more material for segments, there are a number of segments that I have been collecting, I’ve got spreadsheets with a ridiculous amount of material that’s been boiling over to create daily segments, massive database, I’ll be kind of working through that, things like tantric world news, I’ve been collecting that stuff, and just because of my lack of prioritization of a daily podcast it becomes old news, piling up headlines, but I’ve got it all there, still think that’s important to be brought up to speed, that can be a segment, eventually people contributing to it, and also who knows I am of the generation of Wayne’s World and they had all kinds of segments that made it more charming and endearing, where you get more excited about the parts you love the most, it could be more commentary before and after an interview, if take that leap of faith to really religiously moon light this podcast on a daily basis to where it begins to eclipse the revenue coming in from other less desirable but still honorable sources of revenue, then, the craft as a daily grind that’s elegant, and very sustainable, its gonna get to really evolve and develop and deepen and I may be more ready for this 5 years from now, because I will have matured more and refined more, but I feel like this is the year to not hold back, and if you’re gonna get off the boat you better go all the way, kinda thing

give myself permission to not be so shy, another spirit I will invoke, jack burton of the pork chop express, kurt russell in big trouble in little china, which is one of the most influential sci fi fantasy east asian martial arts odysseys of spirituality, cosmology, and mythology, profound film disguised as a campy comedy, one of the many magical endearing things, the pork chop express, kurt russell with cb radio doing a proto podcast not knowing who he was talking to, probably had people chiming in, just driving, philosophizing, expounding, processing , of course you have that guy in my development, you have of even greater gravitas was pump up the volume and christian slater, I was profoundly moved by pump up the volume where he’s a punk rock pirate radio dj, where he was on every night, either for 5 minutes or 5 hours, now in 2020 you don’t need to be doing pirate radio, and you don’t have to be truck driver on your cb radio, you can be a globally distributed mp3 based, another beautiful thing about the open internet, sure I could be deplatformed, black holed, by the centralized platforms, but I can still spin up a server and crank out an rss feed so that anyone in a decentralized, anarchic, free and open source manner, using protocols free and open to all, a podcast is resilient, and can survive the iron grip of centralized platforms, deplatforming people for whatever reason, that’s one reason why I deleted apps, a number of other things

in the spirit of going dark or at least stepping away, not to insult or judge anybody, or to impugn I’ll be diplomatic, I don’t want to impugn any platform or service, that I’ve used, but there is a quintessential ancient tantric resonance with the idea that okay, here’s me, I’m in my fucking cave, singing my mantras, spouting my rhetoric, with my version of the scriptures, and my interpretation and life experience at a certain point, if I’m just in my cave holding my ceremonies and my satsangs and inviting my friends, its not exclusive, but it’s not imposing on other people so much, it’s not putting it people’s faces, there’s a grace in getting to a point where I’m content if people listen, I’m content if people don’t listen, I’m not discontent if people don’t listen, I’m in that state where I don’t feel its appropriate to spam people, or just over saturate people in the more benign sense or hype people, there’s certain grace, maybe people will say hey shut up you’re podcasting too much, but I’m not gonna be cluttering your social media feeds, if I’m in your feeds its because you shared my content or someone shared it with you but it’s not gonna be because I said hey look at me, give me free attention, I will just be here in my cyber himalayan tantric cave, and ocassionaly having fun with some consorts in that cave, and kissing and telling, and just doing my thing, I’m not gonna inappropriately be trying to bend the terms and conditions of platforms that don’t want adult content of any kind to be present, I’m gonna respect that, I’m going to excuse myself, here’s the explicit tag and take it or leave it, share it or don’t share it

getting back to the roots of internet marketing, and permaculture, here’s a nugget, perennial vegetables, perennial plant stock that produces yields year after year with one planting, and will outlive you in a lot of cases and will require multi generation stewardship, that’s perennial design, permanent culture, permanent agriculture, framework of perennial supporting the annuals, and everything in between, quite a bit of diversity in that range

for content do I want to be creating posts that don’t even get indexed by search engines, I’m I gonna have anxiety when my posts don’t keep up with the jones’ of other people’s posts? That process is seriously demoralizing and depleting and it’s not scaleable, Gary Collins another podcast guru of mine, who talks about basically digitally detoxed from that social media rat race and have it be the best decision ever made, to focus on what he’s doing, and share that, do minimal promotion as needed, not be a slave to it, paraphrasing, feeling into that wisdom, it’s not just luddism, it’s becoming a life and death things, for children it already is, how your brain is gonna be wired, compulsions, addictions to a device, I destroyed all of that, I’m not even addicted to my crypto portfolio app, I’m free from the addiction and a lot of people are not, just talking about me, my sense of things, my experience, I lived it, it tore me up, I made some impact, I had some numbers of 100s of 1000s of this and that, but I was sick of being a slave to the maintenance of it and I feel it it was not scaleable

so there you have it, I will not be imposing it, I’ll be doing it daily as a ritual and do my best to maintain high quality of audio, guests, segments, and see where that takes me, as long as possible

I will fell it, I won’t say I’ll feel bad, stressed, or beat myself up, but I’ll feel it if I miss a day, because what was happening on that day that was so important that I couldn’t take the time to do this, I mean I feel like I could be having the best fucking sex and best day of my life in the most beautiful place in the world or having the greatest trip or the greatest trippiest sex in the greatest place in the world and I should at least be able to record a podcast and release it the day after as long as I have a connection

wish me luck, and stay connected, course correct me if I get out of line, I’m very open to feedback, where it’s the first episode you’ve listened to or one of quite a number, I appreciate you and don’t be a stranger, don’t be a stranger

if you want to connect, you’re invited to connect, whether to be a guest, or submit content for review, or even record a segment, you could record a question and send it in, but why not record a segment, this is a big tent, I want to be between playboy magazine and howard stern, diversity of topics, if I could be the tantric feminist howard stern I think the world would be an even better place than it already is, a bit of george carlin thrown in there if I can dare to come to his knees with wit and humor and satire and radicalism, but if you have something that you have studied or researched or your own story and you don’t feel comfortable to be interviewed, if you don’t have your website, links, bio photo, whatever else it takes to feel qualified, you could be anonymous, you could be pseudononymous, you be satoshi nakamoto and just send me anything you want that contributes value and is pure hearted an in alignment, definitely want to just open it up and there will be plenty of space for you to occupy at whatever level that you desire, so by all means, step up, and let’s grow together, namaste