In this episode I’m joined by Destin Gerek for a discussion about the future of sacred masculinity and conscious erotic media. He shares an overview of his background and path to become a tantric sexual healer and erotic empowerment coach, then offers a beautiful and powerful intentional meditation. We end by opening an ongoing discussion about sexual health best practices and bringing tantric ethics and techniques to the adult entertainment industry.
Destin Gerek is a transformational empowerment coach who specializes in helping you awaken your sexual energy, while harnessing this newfound power to passionately manifest your biggest visions, and create the life of your dreams. A globally recognized thought leader in the realms of sexuality, consciousness, and personal transformation. Destin has been working in the field of human sexuality for over 17 years.
In 2004, Destin experienced a massive spiritual reawakening while hitchhiking through southern Mexico. Since that time, Destin has made it his life’s purpose to help catalyze an elevation in global sexual consciousness.
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear beloved’s welcome to Tantra Punk podcast episode number 53 I’m going to be interviewing one of my heroes in the Tundra fuel Destin Garrick and he’s going to give us a little bit of safe intro and tell us a bit about his background and then we’re going to talk about best practices for being part of the new masculine sacred masculine Paradigm so Destin thank you for being on the show and then Karen can I make you for having me at as request why don’t we all just take a moment to drop in together who knows what you were doing before you hit play on this podcast but just invite you to take a moment to stock everything else at the moment to close your eyes and just bring your attention Within feel the Earth beneath you gravity drawing you down towards the Earth weather at supporting bring your attention to those subtle Sensations like the feeling of your clothes on your body and how as you breathe your clothing shifts around your body and as you do that allowing your breath simply slow down and bacon allow each breath to get slower in each breath to get deeper than the one before. To the point where these could even be the slowest breaths on the deepest breaths that you’ve ever taken in your entire life and you may notice that with each of your exhalations your body becomes a little bit more relaxed a little bit more calm which of these equations your mind becomes a little more quiet a little more Style there’s nothing to do and nowhere to go slowing down and open to receive or we have to offer you if you’re able to and buy you to stay with your breath throughout this podcast how’s your ready where we going from here thanks so much that’s enough Exquisite I feel great and I am ready to receive your story a bit your pathway leading up to becoming a I thought leader and trainer in the new sacred masculine men’s movement I’m going to need some of your help here cuz my path has been very long and winding into our time here used on that each time I share my story comes up differently and they’re all true well let me see if I can let me see how much of your story I remember then you can track me how about that at the end of it all right so you are a you were traveling you were traveling at think in the in the south southern hemisphere and you are kind of finding yourself and you were in a relationship that was a relationship that you were not fully empowered in and something kind of snapped and you started to get heavily into empowerment through Contra sacred sexuality and then you’ve developed erotic Rockstar archetype two step two more empowered role and then you sort of worked with that for a while I became that to various degrees and then evolved more into you can say less will just be more of service to training men to become well I guess a little more grounded than a rockstar and now you only Robbins of Tantra and it’s not a bad summation to fill in some of those details okay so in 2004 after what I’m just going to refer to as hitting rock bottom in my life I’m having a psychological and emotional breakdown I went hitchhiking through southern Mexico with a backpack on my back and like no money to my name and figuring out how he’s going to get the next meal and how is going to get so wherever I was going next and as much as I thought that I’d hit rock bottom actually further bottomed out during this job and then there was a point where I just gave up I just gave up I wouldn’t have said that I was surrendering to the Divine or God or anything at the time because I didn’t believe in such things I just all I knew anymore was I didn’t know anyting and that was a very powerful moment because before then I swear I think I thought I knew everything I had it all figured out and there’s so much I was clinging to and I struggling with the when I Let Go when I gave up it just opened up the space and like a light switch being turned on suddenly everything check 18.2 a single day where weather moments who I was before I knew I was after we’re completely different or suddenly every person I was meeting every conversation I was having seems designed for this shift in my Consciousness and awareness to take place now I’m at a point 12 years later we’re at the Spaniards like that happens to me all the time but by the time it was it was brand new experience it was completely off life-altering and I relate to it as my Spiritual Awakening and and it before then my life was on this downward spiral every year altimate Leaf find myself feeling more disempowered ever since it’s been an upward spiral it. The say that every moment has been absolutely amazing that was certainly not my life has had many struggles and challenges in the time since many of the announcer if you look at it over time for each year is just just keeps getting better. Was it just keeps getting better at through every painting hardships still just getting better my connection to my own self my own spirituality my own power my own possibility my own impact on an influence on the world all this just keeps expanding as I have septeber and deeper into living my purpose thanks so do you do you want to talk a bit about the erotic Rockstar for people who haven’t figured that on this podcast with you I would I probably would not be here if it wasn’t for you and your promotion of that that archetype to tell you the truth it really Set Me In Motion I had what I I refer to as about 6 and 1/2 year erotic Rockstar journey and it’s not to say that he has completely wiped out for my life today but definitely two different chapter in my life and I spent my late teens to late twenties completely disconnected from my masculine I had developed a distrust of other men and a and with that I distrust of of my own masculine rooted in my high school sweetheart being raped on her 15th birthday right before we met and then us getting together for about three years and just feeling the impact of a trait throughout our entire relationship and then through whatever opened inside of me during that I became the go-to person for women that seem to share about their experiences and so I just being inundated with women sharing about their experiences to Imola call non-consensual sexual experiences I just developed a deep distrust of man and the masculine and I ended up spending the night at that decade really with no male friends certainly no hetero male friends everybody in my life for women wear their girlfriends or friends or roommates are bosses they are all women and I got very in touch with my fat with my inner feminine which carry many blessings by by the time I was in my late twenties I also realized something was horribly out of balance I was in a relationship with a woman that way I love dearly but I put her on a pedestal way above me I didn’t understand why she would even be with somebody like me and and guess what the relationship wasn’t working and simultaneously I had such a deep feeling inside of me that I had something but I wasn’t really do much of anything and I just got this sense of these two things were interconnected and ultimately I I I realize there’s something going on regarding my masculine feminine balance and I set out to make 2007 the year that I actively explored my messy alinity and what it means to me to be a man in the world and so I I had no idea when I said out on that Journey that it was going to be so powerfully transformative on all levels and that who I who I was was was going to just practically overnight in new me before and who I see now still can’t stop saying to me oh my God I did you like it you change so much the transformation was so potent that it ended become the foundation of the work that I do in the world and where I can reverse-engineer something that I did and the process that created and have improved people do it more effectively so anyway I it was then that the erratic rock star was born playing with this question of this idea of so what what is my what is my ideal of like masculine expression in the world now is already doing what you say is, but very academic like my sex Pizza I thought I knew the sexuality had something to do with it but I also got the sense that was to be expressed differently than how I was previously expressing it and she can you how do I say this so I start playing with the creation of an archetype I was limited by my ideas of who I was and who I wasn’t what I’m capable of what I’m what I’m not capable of but he has archetype there’s no limitation there he’s a figment of my imagination could be anything and you started writing about it a lot dreaming about it thinking about talking about it and it’s flushing out to this imaginary creature Cisco Burning Man Community where it’s very normal to kind of like play with character and costume and Craig costumes and things like that so DJ culture where is Sea Hunt as well as of 2007 which is filtering the rising and peaking of the whole pick up industry so while I was coming out of the Township community I was seeing this guy is happening and I was really confused cuz I was like I’ve been part of this time for a year already and pure suddenly this things happening in his dwarf the impact that we’re having a community where is most people don’t seem to be have that much of an interest in what’s going on at pick up Community has ballooned so rapidly all over the world what the fuck is going on especially when I look at it and I find so much of it so questionable so much of it can flying in the face of my ethics and so part of it for me as well was I wanted to prove whether to the world or to myself that it was possible to be spiritually oriented Heart Center. And still what will call extremely successful with the ladies and so all of these different flavors were put into this archetype that I was creating at as well as I just everything he was the opposite of everything so where is I may have been more reserves and certain spaces he was fully expressed the center of attention nothing yet his sexuality was not oppressor held back in anyway he was in full expression but it’s the one to make sure that wasn’t a light at that grasping needy through his body and end the out of his fights did it part of an expression of his being