Tag Archives: community

A Public Service Announcement on Coronavirus Preparedness by Laura Shin TPP259


In this episode I syndicate by permission a segment on Coronavirus preparedness from Laura Shin’s recent episode of the Unconfirmed Podcast: https://unchainedpodcast.com/coronavirus-how-it-will-impact-bitcoin-and-the-halving/

My Non Verbatim Show Notes:

Climate change greatest slow moving danger

threat is so large, use platform to help out and bend the trajectory of the virus in the us, given our bad start in the fight against it

credentials, masters in science journalism

hopefully these tips will be helpful

us focused

first thing, no need to panic, worst thing you can do in a situation like this

take care of your self first

do one relaxing thing a day, exercise, meditation, a nap or bath, whatever will help keep in level headed state

calmly rationally seek out knowledge from reliable sources

armed with knowledge, make smart decisions, help others

take care of own body and health, boost immune system, reduce burden on health care system, clearer head to make better decisions, keeps you available to help others

docs nurses, and health care practitioners going to have hands full, if we keep our bodies in good shape, we can assist others

us is going to have to fight this battle pretty much blindly from a data stand point

so far behind on testing, I believe we no longer have time to catch up

window closed on strategy of containment

chems used in test, in short supply lack of test kits, lack of capacity, don’t think aggressive testing is viable anymore

don’t think we have the time to all the tests and contain this

already brewing in a big way

lag between infection and illness

not all hope is lost

another data point, most important metric, how burdened health care systems become

“true case fatality rate”, no true cfr, varies from city to city state to state country to country, determined by whether health care system gets overwhelmed

flatten the curve

we are the ones who determine the CFR, every choice we make pushes number up or down

in the us, our dotted lines is lower than in other places, not everyone is insured, many more people getting sick but not getting tested, spreading it to others

even insured may have incentives not to get tested

free testing, not sure how much will help us now

docs, nurses, lack enough protective gear

masks not replenished since 2009

1% of estimated 3.5 billion masks the nation would need

5 million 95 masks in stockpile expired

larger percentage of health care workers will fall ill and need to be quarantined

don’t horde face masks, leave them for health care workers, shortage of supply

if you become sick you should wear a mask, but until then you have other means to protect yourself, health care workers do not

health care system capacity line, health care system in Lombardi, Italian outbreak, rated 9.9 out of 10, various us states, no where comes close to 9.9

our health system capacity is much much lower than Lombardi’s, much less margin for error

in any/every way you can start social distancing, because we have basically run out of time, start now, this power lies in your hands, anytime you have a choice about whether or not to go out, stay home

sad fact, here in us, our leaders have failed us miserably

we citizens are smarter and more capable than they are, and we by our actions can take control and fight back this virus

stay in, don’t spread to others, can spread asymptomatically

cost of staying home will be different for some than others, for this reason, govt should compensate those who take financial hit for financial good…that cost would be dwarfed by financial cost of letting the virus ravage as many lives as it would without your intervention

corona virus is here, no matter what we will pay a price, paid in human lives or financial aid

take care of yourself

stay informed

do you best to help out people on front lines

do our best now to bend the curve, be more like korea or taiwan

we have power in our hands, make the right choice

anytime you have the ability, stay in

beat this back, we can all go celebrate afterwards


Loving Big in the COVID-19 Era with Alexandria Foxxcroft TPP258


Alexandria Foxxcroft Pic

In this episode some joined by my esteemed colleague in mindful preparedness Alexandria Foxxcroft for an exploration of strategies to remain calm, peaceful, and loving amidst the chaos

About Alexandria:

Alexandria is a health educator and proponent of positive sexuality and mindfulness. With her skills and interests combined, she lovingly guides herself and others to deeper, more meaningful levels of pleasure and intimacy while holding space for life’s modern demands. You can find her art, life, and play on: https://www.instagram.com/alexandriafoxxcroft/

My Non Verbatim Show Notes:

always a pleasure to collaborate and talk with you

what I’ve been up to since we last chatted on the podcast, I’m not living and performing vegas

volunteer at positive sexuality conference, that’s how we first got to talking

come full circle

as we are facing something completely unprecedented, corona virus, las vegas pretty much all shut down, casinos closed, hotels empty , strip is quiet, many people out of work, staying home, grocery store shelves are empty, some people panicking, upset, other peoples treating it summer break I get to rest, haven’t had a break from work for 5 years

for me, household, partner and I have enough to get us through some time, staying out of public spaces the best as we can, safety practices, staying connected to family, to loved ones, really enhancing my mindfulness practices, more yoga, more water, more baths, indulging in little things, those treats that might not seem all that important, really taking care of myself, stress lowers immune systems, be gentle with myself and others, think about that, everyone is going through this

we’re all experiencing these new stress levels, horizon, that’s not clear, extend a smile, be kind generous, take care of number one

I do really appreciate that being mindful of the media that we consume is very important right now, easy to get swept away, find trusted sources to check in with a couple times a day so you’re informed, don’t let the fear get in the way of your ability to respond with thought and intelligence

stay occupied, attending to our basic pleasure needs, something I am welcoming into my life as well, its a nice time to kind of say, I don’t need to be afraid, I don’t need to shy away from sex work and being an online presence that can show a healthy sexy intelligent spiritual way of holding my own in a sexual manner, being able to support your cam workers and entertain yourself and help them keep food on the table, past couple days been home thinking about ways to make money and keep the public engaged, keep myself engaged, account on chaturbate, played on that a bit last night, new platform for me, so many things that go on with it, mad props to everyone who’s able to do it and have fun with it, will leave that link with you, we’re all stuck in side, it’s nice to have some fun

drop in tune out check in

as you sit there or you’re laying or you’re in a state where you can come to pause, just enjoy that pause, feeling your breath, feeling your body, coming into awareness, just yourself, recognizing that you individual are part of this global universal collective, you person listening are a link in this beautiful web, multicolored, multitextured multipatterned fabric that makes up our entire being, attune to yourself, give yourself that love compassion, that permission to be, to be still, to be tender, to be nervous, happy excited, anxious, loving and loved, however you are, you are allowed to just be present with that, know that whatever is happening within your being, some one else is experiencing that as well, move outside of yourself and offer that love to someone, someone who’s easy to give love to, parent, child, friend, lover, teacher, stranger, offer them love however they are,

gentle quite acknowledgment, I see you, moving on to another, someone who when you think about them, feelings not so easy to touch on, acknowledge them as a human, encountering whatever life experiences they will encounter today, they are part of this beautiful tapistry, they are part of our story, offer them love, acknowledge their existence as part of this whole as we pass others, think about others through our day, acknowledge them as human just as we are, offer them love, peace and compassion, you seeing them will lead us through these dark times

it will help bolster you against anything that comes your way, every individual has a story, their own psychodrama, no need to take it personally, just acknowledge them as human, a link in this chain, take care of yourself let them take care of themselves, just be, be present, give yourself permission to slow down and recognize yourself as this beautiful beam of light, may not feel it but you are it, breath, breath connects us to our source, connecting to source allows us to align, allows to make decisions with more kindness, this is what we need right now, we call you to be your highest self so you can respond intelligently to anything that comes your way, in closing I uplift you I see you, may you feel held and not alone, inhale, exhale to release all doubt and all worry, inhale compassion and peace, namaste

Basic Preparedness and the Prepping Pyramid TPP246


Basic Preparedness Prepping Pyramid
The term prepping refers to the process by which you incrementally increase your level of preparedness for emergency/disaster on a continuum from short-term self-reliance to long-term self-sufficiency.

The term preps can be defined as tangible items or systems that you acquire or build and use in prepping. While some people may include intangible things such as weapons training, drills, skill development, etc. in their definition of preps, for the purpose of this piece, the focus is on physical items.

The stereotype that survivalists live alone in underground bunkers in the middle of nowhere is rarely accurate. The media sensationalizes the extreme cases, but the reality is that a holistic family oriented survival plan involves several locations and several different scales. I’ve organized the list below in order of scale from the smallest to the largest caches of preps in a pyramidal model to represent overlapping zones.

1. Body

2. Bug Out Bag

3. Bug Out Vehicle

4. Workplace/School

5: Home

6: Bug Out Location


Preppers promote taking some level of responsibility for your safety and security by not only developing self-defense, first-aid, and other survival skill sets, but by carrying implements, tools, devices, and supplies on your person at all times. Having preps on your person isn’t only so you can help yourself and your family, it’s also so you can help others in need.

What you carry on your person is often referred to as “Every Day Carry” or “EDC”. On this scale your preps will include an array of smaller survival gear items. The number of items you carry will be determined by the amount of pockets, belt accessories, carabiners, etc. you’re comfortable with. Fashion and function can be hard to reconcile, but it’s worth an attempt. Many people walk through the world without care or thought of the potential for anything to go wrong. The expectation that something bad will “never happen to me” is a symptom of what is clinically called “normalcy bias”. This is a psychological tendency to avoid considering and logically preparing for disruptions in modern business-as-usual life.

Unfortunately if we encounter bad guys on the street, chances are police won’t arrive on the scene until the incident is over. If we’re in a disaster situation, emergency medical responders may not be able to get to us in the time it takes to die or become seriously ill from preventable causes such as bleeding, dehydration, infection, etc.

Items often carried every day by preppers may include some of the following:

cutting tools, fire making tools, multi-tool, parachute cord, led light, compass, first-aid items (band-aids, alcohol pads), whistle, water purification tablets, emergency medical info card, list of emergency contacts, bandana, cell phone with additional charged battery, flash drive, notepad, writing utensil, “forever” postage stamps, prepaid phone card, cash, checks, herbal energy pills, p38 can opener, water bottle, pepper spray, misc. legal self-defense implements…

Bug Out Bag (BOB)

The “Bug out Bag”, a.k.a. “BOB”, is the survivalist slang for what is more officially known as a 72-hour emergency kit. However, the critical distinction is that a BOB must be in the form of a back-pack that can allow you to move on foot, hands-free.

On this scale of preps, you may have some of the same items that you’d have for EDC, however in greater lengths, quantities, container sizes, etc. as you’ll have the main column of the bag, plus many extra pockets, compartments, straps, clips, etc.

Here’s a list of some of the items often found in or attached to BOBs.

More fire making tools, more parachute cord, flashlight, batteries, candles, first aid kit, extra medications, hand crank/solar emergency weather radio, signal mirror, toilet paper, tweezers, toothbrush, misc. toiletries, sun block, bug spray, warm clothes (kept dry in a large zip lock bag), rain gear, gloves, hat, sun glasses, mess kit (eating dish/utensils), lightweight pot for cooking/boiling water, salt/spices, three days worth of dry food, hooks/sinkers, wild edible plant identification books, bigger water bottle, water filtration devices, 5 gallon collapsible water jug, small bottle of bleach, folding shovel, wire saw, sewing needles and floss, pen or pencil wrapped with duct tape, pen or pencil wrapped with fishing line, full size notebook, envelopes, plastic bags, garbage bags, survival manuals, entertainment devices such as books or games, documentation package (including emergency contacts, local emergency service provider phone numbers, evacuation procedures/plans/packing checklists, multiple evacuation routes, encrypted bank account, social security, etc. numbers, list of family medications/medical conditions, etc.), maps, sleeping bag, space blanket, tube tent, therma-rest pad, tarp, poly sheeting, legal self-defense tools carried in accordance with local law…

It helps to separate and categorize your items into zip-lock bags and distribute the bags into to different pockets and compartments for easy access. The bags also help keep your gear dry.

This sounds like a lot of stuff but if properly organized and compacted a lot of it can comfortably fit in/on a large camping pack. Depending on the nature of the situation, you may want to drop a lot of weight so you can cover more ground on foot. In Saving Private Ryan, the scene in which the translator joins the unit shows how a combat-inexperienced soldier tries to pack everything he was issued in his bag for the mission, and is made to leave most of it behind by his fellow soldiers. This is a useful bit of insight demonstrating that “the more you know the less you need,” and that you have to be realistic about your ability to haul more than the bare minimum.

Your normal commuting vehicle (which may or not be your “Bug Out Vehicle”) should always contain your BOB so that it will be accessible wherever you drive. Storing it in the trunk also ensures you’ll never forget it at home, and when you need to lighten the load and take a few items out, you can lock them in your trunk or locked box in a flatbed truck.

Of course if you’re riding a bus, if you are a passenger in someone else’s vehicle, or riding a bike, it won’t be feasible to bring your BOB with you. In those situations you’ll be relying on EDC, or a smaller backpack with a selection of items from your BOB depending on the situation. For example, if you’re hiking, you’d want to grab a selection of items from your BOB and put them in your day pack.

Most importantly, every member of your family should have a BOB, and every BOB should contain the same version of the documentation package. In an emergency you’ll then be able to co-ordinate your response based on documented protocols that everyone has the current printed version of.

Bug Out Vehicle (BOV)

Your “Bug Out Vehicle” may be a huge 4-wheel-drive monster or a compact car. Older diesel trucks are preferable as they have less electrical components that can fail, and they can be converted to run on veggie oil. Whatever you prefer and have the means to acquire can serve as your BOV, though traditionally it’s a truck or SUV. All that’s required is that it be stocked with extra preps and be equipped with accessories that will optimize performance and provide redundancies in evacuation scenarios.

Besides simply scaling up some of your preps (such as a 5 gallon bucket of dry food that preferably doesn’t require cooking, one or more gallons of water, a larger first aid kit, etc. the following are some preps specific to the BOV:

Flares, basic tools, spare parts (headlights, belts, bulbs, etc.), quarts of oil, extra fluids, map books, solar power system, power inverter, spare tire, snow chains, jack, blankets, tent, boots, entrenching tool, books, gas can (keep empty unless it can be stored safely and securely), more legal self-defense tools transported in accordance with local law, any other large utility/emergency items that don’t fit in or are not appropriate for your BOB.

Every family vehicle should be to some degree prepped to function as a BOV, even if there’s one larger vehicle that’s designated as the main BOV.


This refers to the place where most of your time is spent outside of the home, wherever that may be. The goal would be to get your colleagues or co-workers on-board with prepping so that they collaborate and pool resources to ensure that there are preps on-site. Whether in a basement, storage closet, or under your desk you should try to get some amount of food/water/medical supply storage set up. If nothing else, try to convince whoever’s in charge to at least have emergency kits on-site that are sized appropriately for the number of people in your office, dorm, etc.

Most likely if done right, you can store a lot without it being a nuisance and have some sense of security knowing that if you end up stuck there, you won’t die of dehydration, starvation, or mild injuries.


Without being too extreme, you should see your home as your fort. It’s the place where you let down your guard at night and go to sleep. It’s the place where you raise your family, or are being raised by your family. It’s where you should feel the most safe and secure, and where you should have the most control of your survival. Again, many of the prep items you’ll want at home have been listed above, but here are some preps that are unique to the home:

large water tanks, rain water catchment systems, months to years worth of long term food storage in the form of canned foods and dry foods including your favorite grains, legumes, seeds (for eating, sprouting, and planting), nuts, spices, dried herbs, dried fruits, etc. in 5 gallon bucket/mylar bag/oxygen absorber kits on a rotation system so you “eat what you store and store what you eat”, sprout jars, green house, permaculture garden (food forest if possible), irrigation systems, herbal medicine cabinet, organic recycling center (i.e. compost, vermiculture, humanure, etc), guard dog(s), livestock, food dehydrator, canning equipment, solar power system with battery bank, more legal weapons, low and high tech security systems, toiletry reserves, fuel reserves (gas, firewood, etc.), generator, full camping gear for the whole family, bigger/more specialized hand/power tools, fire-proof lock box for important documents, back up computers, back up external hard drives, lots of useful practical/instructional books and videos, cash, precious metal reserves, large self-assembled or store bought emergency kits…

Bug Out Location (BOL)

The “Bug Out Location” a.k.a. “BOL” or “survival retreat” is your ultimate destination in the case of forced or voluntary evacuation from your normal place of residence. Ideally it would be far out of the urban and suburban zones though not necessarily totally isolated. For those who can afford the luxury, the BOL is a piece of rural land that you own and have put some kind of legal temporary or permanent inhabitable structure on (trailer, teepee, yurt, cabin, house, natural building, etc.)

If you don’t have the luxury to buy land, you may discover that you have relatives living in the countryside, or friends living on farms with whom you can pre-arrange to stay with under an agreement that you’ll pay rent, or do work-trade.

No matter how you gain access to a temporary or permanent living situation for you and your family, what matters is that you have a plan in place. The plan should ensure that you have a main BOL and several fall back locations if the main location is inaccessible, and have multiple routes to each location. It’s also important to work out a system whereby if members of your family or group reach a certain rally point, there’s a predefined way to “post” inconspicuous communications about who’s reached that point, when they got there, and where they left to.

In terms of the scales of preps, the main BOL will often have the largest stockpile of preps when you factor in the ability to hide or bury large caches and the ability to establish permaculture edible forest gardens, ponds, springs, streams, swales, wood lots, wind power, solar power, micro-hydro systems, etc. Ultimately the ideal BOL would be a rural homestead. However the extent to which it’s developed by the time you need it will be determined by how much time, energy, and money you can afford to put into it while you’re not actually living on it.

In rural zones, the land itself is a prep. The more you do to prep the landscape, the more yields you’ll produce that are regenerative. In an apartment or small urban lot, you’re usually not able to access and produce renewable resources on the scale needed to be self-sufficient. Urban preps are generally only going to serve for a finite period of self-reliance until the supplies run out. It’s worth noting that in both urban and rural contexts, self-sufficiency is rarely achieved on a household level, rather it requires the functional interdependence of a small community.

Ideally if you’re “bugging out” to your BOL, you’ll have taken as many of the preps from the smaller levels of the pyramid with you so you’ll be combining preps as well.

The BOL is typically seen as the end point of the game where if you’re successful at making it there alive you’ll be relatively safe, secure, and supplied. However, most preppers acknowledge to varying degrees and extremes that to be prepared while being surrounded by the ill-prepared is a recipe for disaster. Generally, the higher the population density, the greater the risk of being jumped, besieged, or raided. So the more remote you are, the less likely the ill-prepared will be to expend the energy to find and take your provisions. There’s a trade-off though which is that the further you are from at least a small town, the fewer services are available. Also, without neighbors (who you may need to rely on to save your life someday or even just barter with) your survivability and quality of life might be diminished.

Re-Establishing a Culture of Preparedness

No individual, family, or group is an island. Ideally the largest step of the prepping pyramid would be a culture of preparedness wherein redundancy is built into every system that the population relies on for basic survival. It’s not utopian, a hundred years ago it was common sense. According to prominent prepper Stewart Rhodes in episode 602 of The Survival Podcast, “during the Cold War, this country had enough grain to feed all of its people for three years in the event of a nuclear winter, now they have enough to feed all of us half a loaf of bread.”
Our ancient and recent ancestors had the wisdom to live by the ways of the ant, not the grasshopper (see Aesop’s fable “The Ant and the Grasshopper”). In the modern survivalist movement, it’s accepted that winter is coming again as it has in the past and will in the future.
Apocalypse would be an easy way out, but in all likelihood, the world will continue to cycle with nature, not end. We’ll have to choose to be prepared. Moreover, it doesn’t take TEOTWAWKI (“the end of the world as we know it”) for any individual or family to experience an acute localized disaster. Be it a job loss, an injury, death of a loved one, etc, when the s**t his hit your fan, it’s your preps that will carry you through in a state of relative comfort and help buffer desperation.

Jack Spirko of The Survival Podcast has provided numerous planning and strategy tools such as the “threat probability matrix” and notion of “disaster commonality” (see episode 166) to help people identify the threats that are most likely to occur in their personal lives, location, climate, etc. and understand that in many ways the fundamental preps and planning needed to survive anything from the “mundane to the insane” are the generally the same.
It’s important while prepping to be creative and make it fun-based not fear-based. Thanks to the modern survival movement there’s a fail-safe principle built-in which essentially states that whatever you do to be prepared for disaster should improve your quality of life whether or not s**t hits the fan! The best example is growing some portion of your own food.

Just avoid panic buying. As with Permaculture the best solutions are small and slow. Continually incrementally add to your preps when grocery items go on sale, when you get extra cash, when you can score something on Craigslist, when there’s a yard sale, etc. Start small, make it fun, get into the groove and you’ll enjoy having a more sensible lifestyle that actually empowers you to be an evermore safe, secure, confident, and dutiful cosmic citizen, community member, and family member.

Responsible Psychedelic Sexuality with Leia Friedman and Matt Hollander TPP168


Leia and Matt Pic

In this episode I’m joined by a lovely couple for a round table discussion on responsible psychedelic sexuality.

We discuss:

  • our personal approaches to consenting psychedelic self pleasuring practices with ourselves
  • how and when psychedelics and other sacred plants are appropriate for them in their relationship
  • the shadow of alcohol and hard drugs
  • patterns of unconscious sexuality of the punk movement
  • sexuality in the neo-hippie subculture
  • the shadow of guru worship
  • cults around spiritual leaders
  • student/teacher sexual dynamics
  • exploitation of followers
  • predatory behavior patterns in ayahuasca communities
  • the dangers of free love
  • ego and peer pressure
  • corruption of those taking money for sexual healing or spiritual guidance
  • patient/client dating time delay requirements
  • examples in other professional sectors of ethics and code of conduct standards
  • sexual political economy
  • boundaries around involving state authorities in restorative justice
  • Psychedelic Patriarchy video
  • incident denial when survivors come out
  • creating supportive space
  • reporting incidents of abuse by emailing: hello [at] psychedelicwomen.com
  • the role of trained mediators
  • can sociopaths be rehabilitated?
  • calling out celebrities
  • accountability, hide or be accountable
  • admitting when wrong
  • the no more hiding now project
  • the logic and morality of triage in emergency response
  • standard operating procedures trained and drilled as a form of preparedness
  • sharing tools for building incident response social infrastructure
  • grey areas of consent
  • potential for redemption of perpetrators through service work
  • personal hard lessons with sexual misconduct
  • functional and dysfunctional investigations
  • gossip, drama, telephone games
  • appropriate scrutiny of public figures
  • compassion for those who’ve fallen from grace
  • the shadow of shunning and displacing perps
  • harm reduction, success stories
  • shamanic ceremonial healing for perps and ex-cons
  • when survivors aren’t ready to bring it to light
  • how people take sides, defend perps, and subvert advocates
  • asking the victim what they need
  • not assuming you know how/when you should apologies
  • consent in the process of justice
  • How Psychedelics Informed My Sex Life and Sex Work by Annie Sprinkle:

About Leia:
Leia Friedman, M.S. is a teacher, writer, and connectress. She is the cofounder of Boston Entheogenic Network, host of the podcast “The Psychedologist: consciousness positive radio,” the integration resource list volunteer coordinator for MAPS, and a permaculturalist. Her work focuses on phenomena related to the human experience of consciousness through the lens of social and environmental justice. Leia is exploring ways to bridge the diverse and multidimensional intersections of psychedelics and ecology while residing at Happy Acres Farm in Sherman, CT.

About Matt:
Matt hollander is one of the founders of BEN the boston entheogenic network, a psychonaut and the singer of the boston hardcore punk band ancient filth. He is interested in the intersection of radical politics psychedelics and non duality.

Please check out their projects:

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast episode number 168 this is going to be a very interesting and enlightening episode I’m joined by Leah Friedman who is the psychologist and she is an adjunct professor of psychology a psychedelic Advocate and permaculture list among many other wonderful beautiful and amazing things that we will learn all about shortly and also one of her Partners in in life and in love and his name is Matt Hollander and he is a psycho nut punk rocker opening bands for 15 years currently the frontman of ancient filth is that correct and he’s been booking shows and doing events and also helped start the Boston and Thea genic Network very interested in the intersection of radical politics and Consciousness and freedom of Consciousness so to give a little bit of background before we get all started with this there was a recent psychedelic Symposium conference in Los Angeles and I felt like I normally would be all over attending but I had some some duties I had to attend to and I felt like you know I feel like I may be at a higher point of Leverage to just connect with some of the presenters look at the people representing and see what they’re talking about and then maybe fine folks of interest to invite on the podcast rather than go and and actually be there in person and kind of broke my heart that I wasn’t there but then I just felt like you know something good will come out of it and this I need the results of that was looking into some of the things going on around that around that event and in the movement and I wanted to check in to this phenomenon of there being sort of research and resources around collecting testimonials about sexual misconduct from psychedelic shamanic practitioners whether they be doing a sort of time for type work or sexual healing type work Hands-On work involving some some psychedelic medicines or just people who are in the second ochimana community and their basic Authority and power than maybe you know consciously or unconsciously of using and misusing in sexual ways and Dynamics and certainly just how patriarchy which is the backdrop to everything how that how that infects and Ben poisons even our best intentions in ceremonies and in communities so a lot to how about that is so you know really what we talked about as the shadow work and you know in and sacred sexuality the shadow work is is uncomfortable but necessary to to deal with and also add two cities are the slipperiest of slopes for sure for sure for certain in psychedelic work and in sexual sexually works I’m always thrilled to have conversations that further this discourse and get people who are her passion in about these issues and then I can’t I can’t think these two folks enough for being so and residents with my personal background were talking about my favorite things punk rock and theologians permaculture you know what what more do you need to peel and save so maybe that’s what we should call Us episode but yeah we’re really doing our best here I would say and it’s just been a blessing to connect and we’ve had some fun some fun talks leading up to this and what we’re going to attempt to do is just have a bit of a round table and this is I think the first time I’ve done this and also it’s a blessing because he is going to on her podcast the second ologies podcast is going to rebroadcast or we could even call it like a punk rock style split 7 in released and I favorite kind of thing so so that was my my typical exhaustive intro and now I’m going to turn it over to Leah to address the audience of her podcasts and we’ll give her it to the floor to introduce well usually to start off my episodes I just I have an introduction which they’re all make an introduction before this so everyone on my show just heard the introduction and I go this is bent on truck say hi that’s really all I do So High by and say hi I am my name is Ben Lawson I go by the name Tantra punk as a stage name and I am your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment and you can find out a lot more about what all that means at Central Park. Com where I have a podcast and I create educational instructional videos and sacred trance dance music and I also come from a long history in the punk rock and metal movement and I have been in numerous bands and him sort of reconciling all this stuff in my at my personal life and professional life and I and I would say that to a degree I am a somewhat semi-professional practicing sexual shamanic practitioner with certain credentials to my name of being a certified Tantra counselor Under the Tent request School in San Diego and I’m also a certified permaculture designer and a lot of other Badges of Honor I suppose along the way but I’m doing my best to stay in service and to stay as humble as possible and integrate as much input from other people because we’re really talking about some of the the slippery of slopes doing this kind of work and I’m so I’m here to kind of be roasted in a way I think I’m open to being roast Temp and life and also to just explore all of our different experiences so yeah so what are you mad do you want to talk a bit about yourself and give us more of your background then we can all kind of kick get going at Hollander GTA has been working with anxiety I’ve also been in the punk rock scene in Boston for around the same amount of time to play Radical politics and non-duality and just trying to understand what is the score find my place in this crazy world we live in if your network of Boston group that brings together people from all talk about how do you spell experiences and support and he can go and and talking where do we hear your band ancient filth on music is on on the bandcamp for free to listen to download and yeah I’ll survive lyrics I got the lyrics vs you would be so kind as to step into the matriarch roll for as long as you’d like you can kind of set us up and start to dry out you know what is most present for for you and your thinking around these topics and then you know I feel like we can just go from there if you’re comfortable with that I would think that’d be great, I mean I can lead I don’t think we have to gender it in this case. I’ve been thinking a lot about consent lately and people in the community ourselves building up our ability to understand what is the S and what is know and I think it’s particularly relevant in altered state it’s obviously relevant in sexual play in sexual experiencing even with the self just that idea of giving yourself consent to go on a personal experience is something I may never have considered but I think that is a practice we should all look at so I think any conversation about sexuality and psychedelics especially those two together have to start with consent and I don’t know I mean been like if we want to do this as just kind of a conversation maybe we could start with talking about that maybe we just talking about what it feels like to be neurotic self-exploration on drugs and no one can tell you that you’re not telling the truth you know no one can no one can contend with it if it’s your own private experience so actually last night I would say I just was coming right off of a of a pretty profound Journey myself so maybe I can do a little bit if I can slam poetry how does that sound when should we start from yeah what you’re saying the very very very rude of consent being a very personal personal thing right yeah yeah let’s start with you and then see where that leads to I think you’re a little on are integration why not what could go wrong I’ve been given permission by the the Hindu Tantra goddess Kali to kiss and tell and she’s definitely a very probably type of creature and loves all the other goddesses and what likes to watch me play with other goddesses in the human and non-human forms and whatnot but I always feel like by coming down from mushrooms with your my drug of choice I feel like I having to face the mundane world and get back into traffic and get back into J jobs all that stuff it’s always a step down from the glory of being in Union with worth it yeah they the sexy dark Goddess that that has been invoked in the jungles of throughout India for since time immemorial mean for going back twenty thousand years at least in the archaeological record the indigenous Pagan hunter-gatherers have been celebrating the the Earth mother goddess and and certainly discovering and playing with the erotic forms and really having a lot of magical ritual involved with that so as a as a white boy in the American West and the 21st century it’s you know the way that I’ve encountered her is been quite an adventure and I would say it’s it’s the if if there is one thing I’m here to do its to correct the history in the Indiana Jones Temple of Doom movie where he goes to school he goes to a Kali Temple and they get it all wrong and it’s all backwards cuz instead of liberating children and slaying demons she is the demoness goddess whose enslaving and saving children and corrupting everyone the only thing they did get right about that movie is that and I’ve had to think about it a lot because it is considered by Hindu Orthodox Hindu Kali worshippers who are worshipping a very demure and very domesticated form of the goddess in temples throughout India and then in homes now they’ve stripped a lot of the wild sexual nature away from her but even the most yeah but there’s a huge backlash of that movie amongst amongst them Orthodox Hindu Kali worshippers because it’s so offensive and so I such a colonized view of the Goddess but what’s what’s so what I found so interesting after studying their critique of that movie that film and after watching it again I realize wait a minute there is a deeper truth that they were conveying here without even knowing it and a lot of Kali worship say all is mAh meaning that even the door even the most Sinister things about her inner nature and you know people out there to sociopath psychopath if you’d look at them as teachers and you know at some level they just need to have the demon whisper come in and tickle tickle the demons out of them so that they can be activated into the light and there’s like a deeper love story of transformation that’s involved in this but if you watch that movie again you will notice us deeper deeper critique that they are offering is that the reason this with all went awry and that the thuggee cult emerge to practice you know they were basically thieves who were worshipping the goddess and trying to extract magical powers from her in a perverted and corrupted way doing human sacrifice and now it really was the problem with that whole picture is that it was all male priests and they they wedged the female priestesses out of the Pagan spirituality of psychedelic goddess worship and they replaced it with the Brahmin is stick hierarchical empire building male priest lead only the priests could speak the language and write the words and they they pushed the feminine out of the goddess and can’t even believe what they did but you see it it’s like oh yeah it’s it’s all men doing this Puja ritual where they’re sacrificing people that’s the problem now if I can come back and bring my love story with the goddess to you know eventually bring Harrison Ford to the Kali temple in Laguna Beach for him to bow down and meet the goddess then we can redo that script and and I’ll be happy to continue that Legacy and in the right way and show her and her Grandma Lori said that’s that’s for the best that is divided that I’m rolling off of after being in Union with the guys last night and I don’t know what that means and he has no one but it’s just yeah I’m doing my best to just go with the stream-of-consciousness oh yeah that’s my that’s my contribution to the self-loving Psychedelic critical component of this convo I feel like it’s a great pitch for like a Trippy porn and I think we should roll with it if it was a joke but it was Indiana Jones and the Temple of poon ticket downtown okay I need to shut up now please next to the same thing and maybe you want to share what were you thinking I did I just have an amazing experience on LSD and MDMA where I was I was there to pleasure it and can you tell us more cat sounds like you’re going to MIT you’re going to do a remake of Stargate with Kurt Russell definitely made my mouth 35th and having the world come all over my face a giant waterfall they don’t call it the Milky Way for nothing right yeah I said once someone and someone ask me actually Rak razam who is highly esteem shamanic facilitator and documentarian end in a conversation about this kind of stuff that we had in the previous podcast know he asked me once he’s like how do you know that Kylie is not a demon how do you know that she’s not disguised in some way and I’m like well the proof’s in the pudding man I mean it’s the samadhi the Bliss that you didn’t you just you feel like you’re on the spin cycle in the cosmic Yoni and you know you feel is so all right how are you so are we ready for Lissa testimonial confessions I hope a lot of Catholic listening in the confession Booth of it’s like the opposite of profane as it gets when it comes to psychedelic trippy and Wild As It Gets for me is I just completely become a plant and I don’t know maybe plants they must have sexual feelings actually with those beautiful flowers that they produce to get bees and pollinators to come inside and pickle them and gather their Harris Teeter their dust or whatever but I haven’t had much sexual fantasy in trip but I know that you know I’ve I’ve struggled I have thrived I mean I’ve gone through my entire life with body dysmorphia and this is like some of my oldest memories of being in a body are dysmorphic of kind of like a wrenched image of myself in this form and when I took LSD for the first time and most times that I’ve taken it afterward I had a sense of being like free and and yet like inhabiting and grounded in my body if that makes sense like being free from it but also like being bully in it and I have worked with that sense because this is what I think is unique in that empty a genic or the altered Consciousness experiences like the ability to access that state of thinking afterward is only just as remembering what it felt like to be that way you can’t necessarily call it in all the time but it’s like the the roads are the roads have been traveled once before I like the the neuronal pathways have at least been touched and so tapping back into that I’ve had a lot of sexual Liberation do do psychedelic experiences of of inhabiting my for more of like of the embodiment so that that’s what I would say to the point I think it is my ability to receive and to be in pleasure comfortably has definitely been helped by psychedelics that’s very interesting and you have a psychology background so I feel like it’s sacrilege to even invoked his name but because you’re a psychologist you would be very familiar with this like what what I hear you describing his brain gives me flashbacks to the brief study of Freud that I had to do in anthropology it was like kind of a sidebar in that in that training but I remember distinctly and it’s kind of triggered by what you’re saying this you know there’s there’s not a whole lot honestly that I agree with you about his is DC to species but one thing that does ring true to me is that notion that sexuality begins before puberty and it’s about just pleasure in the body and how you discover that like I used to play with my belly button and it used to just give me the surges of of overwhelming arrows that no one around me could figure out but it didn’t seem you know cut the logical just seemed like a is better than cartoons why not in that would be a form of self-expression and discovery of a Rosetti that kind of like you’re saying if you know the money. She doesn’t have to be genital Focus doesn’t have to be about friction fucking with somebody or something and can be about inhabiting and feeling deeply into the sensuousness of your whole being and that sounds like a great a great kind of approach to it is that is that ring a bell for you and we want to go off of that with your bring it into the lens of psychology osher yeah well I do think that as that we are sexual beings from the beginning and end part of part of our sexuality I think of a place by the cultural climate that were raised in and what most of which is sex negative unless you’re in some kind of countercultural family or our you’re just not as much as I think to be encouraged to discover and self pleasure yourself or like sexual play among children is almost always frowned upon and and preventing I’m not necessarily advocating for that because there’s like a Content issue again kind of go back to it but then again when gauging in sexual play with little friends that I had when I was five six little other little girls and little boys and or like to close do you know that I understood my boundaries enough to only do things that felt comfortable to me but I think what you’re asking about the experiencing of pleasure I think like there’s a there’s all these different droppers to pleasure for me there can be right like being in a place that but doesn’t feel like the right setting for her pleasure that kind of like Stoppers my ability to experience it or list of things on my mind that I have to attend to like gets in the way of feeling turned on above Like Loving what’s going on and then another thing that would get in the way is body dysmorphia so to be able to access the sense of embodiment with Timmy with useful sexually because allow me to like unstopper the flow of treasury note the to take off the reducing valve for the the sensations that are possible your asthma is sexual partner not feel free to us well that question as soon as we’ve been together and we’ve been exploring a lot of these issues of the you know definitely let you know cuz I you know I think you know like I know most amazing thing in the world and I and so it’s really amazing to be able to you know do you know gorgeous and and really help them come into their body and it’s just it’s such an amazing thing for both of us to experience something like that and do you know but anyway. So you don’t even need a permit you don’t need a license what’s the powerful sex worker goddesses that I’ve ever met she is such a a heroin to me in one of the things that she said which is so apropos this conversation is that she would like to say this the sort of bit of wisdom she had and she basically said you know you can it’s legal for you to go down to a gun shop and buy a gun but you can’t buy my pussy that’s how powerful my pussy is you can buy something but if you go to the Hampshire pretty soon you’re going to be able to buy both with your favorite cryptocurrency so I know that’s funny letter fireworks from liquor stores that are you staying out of that is so great I am so there I’ve had I’ve had enough with everything I just said and I even thought of how it would be nice I like what you said this is important to to know what you said about you we do need those winter months to actually heal and until it’s I feel like the people are running on such hyperdrive in LA because there aren’t it feels like there’s really no season so there’s no introspection there’s no self-reflection there’s no getting close with the family or with the Beloved at it with the land you know being a part of those Cycles so I really do feel like I probably I probably fall in love so much that I won’t care to leave so even if it’s freezing cold because I’ll be around the campfire you know I’ll be around if you know this the the wood stove or whatever maybe so I know it’s gorgeous and it’s so cute really you’re the season Majestic earlier today and not because of smog smog 6% Caucasian but that was a bit of a culture shock for sure Caucasian it turned out which is which also further to the stigma of the same kind of like if there is such a thing as middle class in Hollywood now I feel driving I guess it depends on who’s driving I got there in four and a half but you can get all of the action all of the food everything I could to make sense to to be posted up legally in New Hampshire for so many reasons and then I can imagine it I kind of imagined that it would be the Vegas or or like you’re saying but I’m surprised that there isn’t a more of a booming adult Production Studio house industry given that you could it’s it’s bad. It sounds like it’s about as far as away is Vegas and everyone fled to Vegas when the the kind of life started taking enforceable effects in the LA County area so that’s a question I have for you is it you know if you’ve been following the the regulation around and this sort of the big money the big money clinical groups who are trying to shut down the street on the health but with the health department as a sort of there their battering ram into the industry I’m curious in New Hampshire are they is it is there any specifications from the health department or health code that that are trying to set the rules for the industry for the porn industry there it is it is the Wild Wild West out here we are more people more to join you know start producing they would have to try to regulate but I don’t know if they would because I really don’t think they would I adhere to the same you know guidelines as as far as testing goes the only difference is I need to get tested we we provide them with testing we make sure everyone we we go through this last we have this very detailed checklist I think it was inspired by Nikki Benz and if possible the only difference is we’re not paying Los Angeles or Las Vegas free small company but you know we talked about splitting, according Talent from Vegas and Los Angeles and you know kind of responsibility regulating type of business you just have to have trust that all people are you know I’m doing the right thing around that is because yeah I think that I think like Outlets sexually here you know I said you know if you will actually liberated place like you know I even thought about you some Leaf peeping directed in the professional studio shoot up or down with your spouse just that sounds like a great guy honestly before you even were saying this stuff I could I was just it was a premonition that you would be talking about this because I I just felt like you were going to probably end up working in some capacity with the Chamber of Commerce of wherever whatever region or whatever sort of municipality or me to Sally’s and actually help that like what you’re you can’t you know you can’t afford your Public Works projects you know your new parks are being closed down for whatever reason well here we got the screws it’s going to be amazing yeah I can see it now and start building and I’m almost filling my gas tank to start driving out there right now I can of gas its people have been wanting you know it’s been it’s been on my not just a to-do list but actually really it’s it’s it’s the lot a lot of the stuff is is I can see it happening and also I I I want to if it’s not already being taken for some other obviously a worthy cause I feel like the love Free or Die state is going to be the hashtag that I talk to Subway to get a handle on that it’s all you it’s you if you can take that and run with it if she if it works but I feel like that’s good it’s the best I feel like you have a lot of love but I like a lot of love yeah I know I feel it I feel I feel you said you were a Healer and you seem you seem like very empathetic yeah this won’t this to me you know all of the trauma that I have witnessed that I’ve experienced ice I can imagine that this is would be a place for people that veteran died literally I mean you know they call it in the adult industry we say that you’re a civilian if you’re not in front of you in if you’re not in front of the camera and doing the stuff for on the street or wherever you’re a civilian and so if that’s the case which I really truly believe it is then we need to have VA programs in hospitals in a note and benefits and we’re doing a public service for helping living out everyone’s fantasies for them if they don’t have the courage or the resources to make them happen so for that I like to be treated with this much if not you know as much love and respect and dignity and resources as veterans violence and brutality in Warfare civilians is military yeah that’s cool yeah and we aren’t we aren’t we know we were lying about reliving some sort of childhood, it wasn’t about servitude or Surrender sometimes it was just the process to the session would be the process to get to the Aftercare to get to that hug to get to that approval of being told you did a good job you know and when I realize that I thought there’s so much more I’ve actually I’ve had plenty of clients for a while there it was kind of weird they were widows widowers their wearers like I was attacking little words that were in various ways and people don’t understand that Sexual Energy can be incredibly therapeutic and healing you know when there’s something fundamentally wrong with that especially you know I mean now I mean Dairy mention you know I mean every day and I just kept having these handmade in handmaid’s tale things going through my mind and and now to be apart of Swap and to be keto on the inside track knowing what’s going on with this legislation here to decriminalize effort I am filled with hope and love all over again no more despair or fear I feel like this could really I meant to be alive right now at this time and to be here and now in this state I feel very very honored and lucky absolutely why I feel very honored and lucky that we are having this conversation you were exactly the voice of the representative that I wanted to find and connect with its in this is really an amazing amazing invigorating conversation and I just I just want to thank you again so much and you know we’ve got a little bit of time left I think we covered most of what I was super excited and looking forward to discussing I guess I would like to ask if you want to talk about the kind of support that you need from people in the area from people abroad people anywhere in the world listening to this but what what do you need to help your chapter really get to the to the point where were you have all your dreams are coming true and you know you have the people power and the skill sets what were you what are your pain points and what do you need so that that can just be put out there and it is a prayer absolutely absolutely awesome and I’m sex worker Outreach project is a nonprofit we do accept donations we accept recurring donations donations I mean just to be an ally to a sex worker to be supportive and you know aware that their work is real work and emotionally laboring work to know the sex work as a form of emotional and physical labor and that nobody story is is representative of all sex where you know and I think that the presence of sex workers in social movement come together and try to fight this and you have to fight what gone but it is a tubal refuse up sex workers bank accounts and it’s happened the money seems suspicious that’s unacceptable yeah yeah that’s you that’s the way to to bypass So Many Factors whether it’s the pimp violence or the banks or the state or even Amazon not wanting your wishlist to be you know used for compensation whatever it is the terms that you have to been in bed will I have to say that the my biggest public service announcement for anybody that might be in your network who listens to this is that I really hope that anyone listening who is a sex worker who has the u.s. exposed to these Financial choke point issues invest time in studying the whole cryptocurrency movement starting with Bitcoin and in aetherium but but you can accelerate that process if you start to look into joining the platform of spankchain which is bringing together all of the activism all of the the really Advanced cryptocurrency solutions for being your own bank literally being your own bank where you have peer-to-peer Financial transactions you can sell they will be yeah they will be providing a lot of solutions for the industry and for the producers and performers to be empowered independently and off the rails of the money system we don’t need to do our dirty work without your dirty Fiat is how I feel McGregor’s Outreach project we have like a meme donation thing you can donate cooked difference NFL Karma Dakshin and and how how sex workers are the difference between trafficking educate yourself some people have been looking for what seems like an ideal future to me or all of the the glory and the beauty of the healing in the transformation that is possible and also the the sort of in the streets marches and the activism going to take to get there and a couple of I guess you’re silly but up at the memes have come to me and one is it you know people I remember chanting in the streets protesting Wars and logging and you all kinds of pollution would not the people we would always chant whose streets are our streets and I can hear this echoing Cruise sheets are seeds coming out with our seats and then you can also got allies and civilians involved right thing that ever since I started looking into it swapped but I’ve ever felt like we’ll all of the the Financial Funding necessary to do real political work lobbying in legislation and all that stuff I feel like there’s got to be a way to solicit the the buyers of sex work the purchasers of the material that the funeral of the client’s right of the clients are you so mean maybe PornHub can put a donate button to swap you know somewhere I mean set stuff like that I would love to see the financing for all of the stuff that you have in your bucket list of dreams to make come true for this industry and for this movement that that the money if the people who can afford to pay for their further their fetish or for their experience or for their media everybody and you know what I mean I come from the the green business Eco business startup kind of seen in in LA and it was a no-brainer that you would want to launch your startup having a dollar of every purchase or a percentage of your purpose so that you could have the the pr potential of putting out press releases were you talk about how you give back as a social impact or I mean even PornHub has done a lot of cool stuff like that and I don’t mean to keep harping on them but because they’re the biggest conglomerate really that the industry absolutely and you know that they’re behind them right that I was either going to let my contact continue to be over there in cream to the channel myself because it because you know we can continue and have more follow-ups to this conversation but I certainly would love to explore some of your insights in the industry and I have some yes yeah I wanted to add you know how that Whole Foods you know if you have to you have to be a squeaky wheel gets the grease and House of weird that you were is this is thrilling to me I know that there’s a there’s worse things in the world than having pornstars solicit you on your doorstep like door-to-door canvassing for help me on Monday to take your singing telegrams you know what the my name is you could use the conservative rhetoric against him and say we’re here to clean up the adult industry sign here and give us a check what do you mean well I know where else next workers never would never when they used to pack meat and the muckrakers had to blow the whistle and that’s how we have ratio any conservative how do I I subscribed to say the r word regulation but I will say any sort of public outcry about working conditions that’s all we need you know and Industry within the industry of people like you who know what performers need what the issues are and can represent that and it’s not coming top down it’s not coming from you know sideswiping from weird organizations with too much money trying to push agendas where they don’t belong and some people know what I’m talking about there and some people don’t but it’s what they did with the keywords you know trafficking of course people wanted to sign off on that piece of aeon I support you know anti-trafficking laws of course I do and so what we could do is we could eat give them a dose of their own medicine like you said hi we’re going to clean up your industry and fine hair like that cuz that’s how they do so many things when they say you know that people don’t read the fine print when they when they sign initiatives to get on the ballot you know they read the sort of sensationalist headline that skews the facts to some moral kind of you get boxed in Morley by the by the by the headline of whatever it is and so that it’s it’s like appealing to logical fallacies for anyone to want to do that but yeah I mean this is really it’s actually truly the holiest and most most sort of medic there’s there’s a way for all of the people to I mean excellent performers have the legal space to do this right then then the medical aspect will I think it’s going to naturally organically become a safer environment if you’re not having to be underground in the hide from you know the the filming commission and fucking cops and at the neighbors and you could actually have facilities that work up Captain staff and you know and fungus were like just clean to the places I mean that’s what people say about the all of those secondary crime things that go along with Vice and things being underground and the black market economy you know if when you when you legalize drugs all of those secondary cramps go away and so this is a war on sex and we need to end the war on drugs and the war on sex and these problems will sell themselves in the free market so it’s going to happen New Hampshire you know get ready full medical benefits of cannabis right and I’m actually is for you I think what will happen is that is that is that the Cheeto person will get a reverse gangbang by a bunch of Tantra see the goddess and he will want to transform United States into one giant orgiastic goddess Temple to heal the planet from all the patriarchy that’s my that’s my vote I’m going to put that are you trying to turn me on now I try I try not to but sometimes I can’t help it it just happens thank you for that well yeah so we it’s been one of the most delightful hours of my life at sharing this time with you and I’d like to ask you now to give us the links to everything that you want to share and that you’re involved with and close this out with some final words calls-to-action slogans from the front lines whatever you like to share please take your time. Thank you it’s been an honor and I’m I’m I’m pretty sure my cheeks are going to hurt from smiling too so that’s as wot USA. O r g basically you where you can find me I just would like to do everything I can and vegetation Security building in Albuquerque beautiful thank you awesome alright I see well yeah let’s let’s call it a podcast and let’s be in touch and I will I will be in touch again very soon thank you so much and have a wonderful evening. Smiley and you’re coming over here thank you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition of sustaining and improving the podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com Thomas Day

Healing the Shadow of Sisterhood with Grace Diaz TPP148


Grace Diaz Pic
In this episode I’m joined again by Grace Diaz for a conversation about healing the shadow of sisterhood. I noticed a heart breaking social media post where she disclosed a recent story of betrayal within her inner circle of trusted women and since I’ve been caught in the crossfire of so many catastrophic falling outs among spiritually empowered women I felt the need to reach out and invite her to discuss these issues at length. I hope our efforts to raise awareness and provide idealistic solutions are of service to the greater good.

Please visit her website at:

About Grace:

My passion of healing began at the age of ten, when my father, a Reiki Master of 20 years initiated me as a Reiki Master in Medellin, Colombia. For years after arriving back to the United States, I began teaching Usui Reiki all over the east coast.

Reiki lead me to Tantra. I was introduced to Shakti-Pakti-Tantric-Yoga by my Guru Tafari Sudra, in 2011, and it allowed me to heal my 10-year eating disorder. Our organization, YONI GRACE, LLC was birthed in 2012 when I felt the burning need to share the wisdom I was experiencing through Yoni Breathing.

In 2012 Grace began distributing Yoni Eggs wholesale worldwide and teaching thousands of women how to run a Yoni Egg business from home!

Grace hosts Yoni events in the Las Vegas area and internationally. In 2016, she was privileged to be hosted in Istanbul, Turkey. There, Grace and 35 Muslim women participated in a weekend workshop of the Yoni Egg practice with Yoni Yoga. Her classes are one of a kind and focus on helping women embrace their innate sensual wisdom for spiritual and physical wellness.

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello Jay beloved’s welcome to Tantra Punk podcast episode number 148 I’m being joined Again by Grace Diaz for it what I would consider to be a sort of emergency follow up Podcast of she was just on the show very recently and I happened to notice an Instagram post where she was calling out for support and an understanding and compassion dealing with the situation that I will I will leave relatively vague but I’d just say that a pattern that is emerging as pretty Insidious and I’ve noticed it more and more recently and so I felt like I wanted to address this but basically we get into it a whole discussion about just the shadow of Sisterhood and how there’s a real fault lines in in a lot of different Dynamics between women in the patriarchy this is just such a recurring issue and I feel like a lot of I guess just speaking from a male’s perspective a lot of men would just dismiss the so-called cattiness or cat fighting of women and just attributed to menstruation or whatever you know whatever means of just not taking it seriously and it’s a lot of people just end up in the warring factions and + communities and there’s not a lot of real people not really having each other’s backs and having a lot of empathy and so just people get in the game camp and schisms and happens and you know politics and and you know Ford offices in a non-profit organizations whatever it’s it’s all across the board and I feel like I’ve gotten to Tantra because I believe it I can harmonize people in and just said that you go and get people really working in Harmony and creating beautiful Mondelez is Corporation and I have discovered that it can also be a breeding ground for a lot of Shadow behavior and certainly some some people would say that men are the the Lesser species and in the sense of the amount of the amount of really meticulous meanest and conniving and cunning around just controlling and manipulating social dynamics and really they’re kind of big just want to figure out who the alpha is and then follow orders and instead get shit time and that’s that makes it a lot simpler so you know that’s kind of the kind of funny that way but more and more I have just covered these incidences where women who are arising in two forms of benevolent leadership and trying to get you know build brands or build movements or build organizations there is just as some this competition in the sort of you know prom queen pageant really vitriol that happens and I just feel like there’s a way for everybody to win and to rotate positions of being in the Limelight and that everyone can be brought up together and that the only true hierarchy that I believe in is like one of Merit and an elder ship and you should be able to salute your elders if they’ve gone further down a path in you and the people that want to just cheat and cut in line and take what they have an urn it’s it’s important to I don’t know how to reconfigure some of the stuff and then just bring it to the light and so you know when you see when you made that that post you know I wouldn’t I wouldn’t necessarily want to get too specific about places and things that you know are I really would would expose anybody’s weaknesses or or what not but it’s just a general Trends in and how we react to it and what the solution can be and just being aware of it because a lot of people I think just to see everything is isolated instances and made her take a side or they don’t but the patterns are the bigger patterns are really corrosive to the harmony that were really trying to create an end what you’re doing I believe is extremely important it’s so pivotal so the people that was specially the women who are doing Really Brave and paradigm-shifting in and really threatening to The Establishment in the status quo. The women are doing those kind of tasks and that kind of work I feel like deserve extra support and extra humility when people are working and in service to just really understand that you know hey if you were some how to say it like a Logging Company Executives and you know you were Shady poisoning rivers and stuff then by all means you should be you should be treated accordingly by disgruntled employees but you know if you’re trying to fight the good fight and do something good I would hope that people would have a different approach to knowing that that also goes for single mothers by sea men and relationships with single mothers and they just put themselves first and I just can’t I can’t believe stuff like that happening just absence of awareness at work how how difficult it is to be a woman in this patriarchy and entrepreneur or mother or mother an entrepreneur and it’s like where where are the Warriors going up to understand this disorder from the needs of stuff so that’s that’s my kind of long intro perspective on why I wanted to reach out again cuz we had just talked to him recently but I saw that and it was I was in a place where I had just been in in the depths of being aware of a of a a really corrosive kind of meltdown in a community and I seems like it happens every day so we just got to talk about it and get some awareness out and I’m very grateful for you even allowing me to have a platform to speak on this because I’ve been dealing it with it my whole life starting with my mother and it’s it’s it I think that’s actually the roots of women’s insecurities women do with the way that that I’ve seen the whole female and jealousy turning into trying to hurt this person who’s usually oblivious to it it’s you know it sounds from from the mall you know and like I talk about this openly with my eating disorder that that I’ve had actually I think you know in an interview and you know I just never felt good enough I just never felt like you know I was enough for her I always felt like you know she was just like Ultra perfectionist with me and I had to really like always try to be like as good as I can and it was never enough you know and like I just wasn’t a valued person because I didn’t you know clean the floor while or I didn’t you know it like 4 years old you know clean the bathroom while like literally any better and there is actually a lot of like good that came in it because I work really hard but at the same time like just that subconscious psychology you know like that’s their you know and that’s something that I’ve had to work with at least between me and me and not messing with my mom but just my own internal relationship that I have with women you know and that’s kind of where I believe this starts from and a lot of the women that I have been encounters with in regards to this have had similar stories and you know it’s really sad because what I see what happens is that there’s a lot of unconscious projecting of this unhealed wounds and it doesn’t have to just be with the mother it could if it may not be at all but that’s usually what I seen it could it could be you know another really deep seeded world if it could be you know sexual molestation you know we talked about that it could be it could be so many different range of things where the woman just didn’t feel adequate enough and now she feels like you know what she sees another woman striving it’s almost like it brings up that insecurity in her that she hasn’t resolved yet and she actually sees her as like a Target as like an enemy of someone who’s trying to put her down she is really really unconscious and the most fascinating part about this is that is usually happens between women who admire each other you know that’s usually how it starts and that’s something that I’ve seen in just like my own friendship so I just talked to my friends being like hey like this happen to me and showing while that happened to me too and it was usually with someone who admire them and then you know like things get really sensitive and you can feel it you know like as women like everything is so like detail and so specific to the body language and to the energy being projected and the smallest little thing a woman will pick up as as being you know and sometimes she’s not trying to hurt you but the woman who’s being is not necessarily trying to hurt her friend she’s for example maybe saying hey you know I think blah blah blah or not to give to any specific examples but you know it could be seen like her opinion of something very likely feel like when it has nothing to do with with the woman’s insecurities can actually threatened her you know can actually you know if she feels like you know hey I think I’m going to win this competition I think I’m going to do this I think I’m going to be able to write this book I think I’m going to be able to you don’t have this project I think I’m going to be able to something that’s just like it can trigger that insecurity that she hasn’t met yet and now she can become a Target unfortunately and it’s usually you know both of them are usually on especially the woman who is really just trying to do her thing you know and she thinks she has the support her friend and it’s just so sad you know one of the things I really wanted to emphasize when talking to you was my experience in turkey that I had with 30 women I was doing a Yoni egg Retreat it was one of the best experiences of my life and it was one of the best examples that I’ve seen of Sisterhood in my life it was in it was in the Middle East and it was a women who are Muslim and you know you would you would think that women who are sexually repressed it was it was so fascinating to me you know cuz this culture is is is genuinely sexually repressed you know women are sexy and you know even like female genital mutilation is like ramp it over there and you know there’s so many issues revolving not just sexual empowerment but just female empowerment. You know but what’s what was so fascinating was it was the first Workshop or an in this case it was a weekend you know Sacred Circle and it was the first time that they all wanted to put their Yoni eggs together you know holding hands being together 30 women I’ve never had that experience in my life every single time and just to give you know everybody I guess the history on what I do I’ve been obsessed with with Yoni egg you know wisdom and in the practice because of how is really need to bring healing into my life and going back to my eating disorder using Yoni breathing so that’s usually what I do you know I’m in my circles that I’ll post a Yoni breathing meditation a Yoni egg you know like educational you know you know few hours of it depending on how long the workshop is and then we’ll go into actually putting the egg in and doing yoga with it you know so I was going to do the same thing in the circle and everybody has their egg and I was like okay one of the time we’re going to go to the bathroom and they were like no no no that doesn’t feel right there were like we need to put this in together and you know there was probably like three or four women in the group who really were not comfortable with that and they all paid a lot of money like to be there I mean I flew out there you know so it was it was like women were really really serious about doing this they came forward pay for the weekend event and and now they’re sitting the circle and a few of them a handful or like I don’t really feel comfortable doing this all the women like literally like stood up like they sat down with them they looked at them in their faces how are you going to come here and and not take advantage of this opportunity to really confront your fear which is now being you know manifest after you not wanting to put in your a was like they were so direct and they were so like in their face but with so much love and I was like I wouldn’t even have done that I have I have not felt that level of Sisterhood in person at least it was just so profound I just felt so grateful to witness. And you know they peer pressure them in and they did it and they were they all at the end we’re happy that they did it together that brings tears to my eyes cuz I’m I’m watching the mental movie of this unites your speaking word by word and and that every every detail you just share. It just breaks off my heart because what I what I hear and feel and sense from that is that the confidence they had to confront that was the confidence you would have to remove a parasite from your flesh like as if it was part of you as if they were one being and they were identifying what was not working about their Collective unified sense of health and wellness and it’s just like you wouldn’t hesitate to intervene if something was out of whack with your personal body and and it’s a different it’s not like they were trying to get them get her to do drugs or to do something that would put her you know of that different kind of but this kind of peer pressure where it’s kind of like a symbiotic unified sense of Consciousness that’s another level so thank you for sharing I really and really hit me in the woman… Women that were opposed to it initially they mentioned being raped they mentioned having you know vaginal pain on a regular thing they’ve mentioned miscarriages they’ve mentioned on healthy you know Intimate Relationships I mean an end to have that bravery and love to sit down with their sister and almost almost kind of force them to do it you know there were like we’re doing this and you’re going to do it with us and we love you and it’s just going to happen and you’re going to have to step up and you know do it nnn because it just seems so culturally acceptable to to already have that stamps like that’s what I get this when I saw it was already like such a mugshot like matriarchal hype energy like already slick so present the women just yelled it and and they didn’t even really argue they didn’t even say well you’re not respect no it was like they didn’t even really say anything they just didn’t it you know and and at the end you know I was I was so perplexed by this at the end I obviously you know I was like hey how does everybody feel you know where where where is everybody right now you know we did have a prayer circle literally holding hands as we were putting the egg in believe it or not like this is the first time you know I was I was really able to take it to this level and it was transformational even for me you know as someone who’s been doing this at that time it was already like 6 years in volume 100. You know and it was it was it was profound I have never really experienced that end in I yearn for that other woman I actually urine for that level of Sisterhood as a woman who who believe that this is you know I think that’s some of the issues that that are coming up with this and I do think that this is more of like a contemporary like American thing cuz like I said the only time I’ve seen different was in the Middle East and even when I go back home to South America rice when I go back home to Columbia The Hit The Sisterhood there is very strong as well I’ve never actually let a Yoni egg Circle in Columbia cuz I’m usually there with my family and you know during Christmas and and I just haven’t had that opportunity yet but but I do think that this is more of like a present-day you know independent woman you know I want my own opinions on things which is which is totally valid and and and we’re fighting the good fight like you’d like you opened up you know saying you don’t like where and it’s unfortunate that we even see it as a fight but I think that that is part of the issue I think that you know we just feel so entitled to our own and we’re really forgetting that we need to munity and I was actually just listening this morning I was soaking in the tub and I was listening to dr. Northrup dr. Christiane Northrup audiobook she’s actually running the forward to the second edition of my book how to use the unit for central healing which I’m like super honors reservations thank you thank you so much she mentioned basically that’s what heals addiction is community you know like any any addiction she was mentioning countless examples of of different you know experiments and surveys and and their word is all leading to the same thing both experiments and in you know what people and even animals and how call basically like you can give heroin to like a rabbit and you know like the only thing that’s going to win it off of it is if they actually get touch and affection and that stimulation as opposed to just being stimulated you know and so I think it’s that is similar that’s similar to what you know what we’re talking about right now is that the wound that inspires female animosity and in jealousy and you know hopefully hopefully we won’t need to let you know hurting them but that it does happen a lot I really do think it’s it’s it is the community you know and the best example that I can give was the one that I had in Istanbul and you know really accepting women’s like really accepting your sisters were you know because at least for me that would Inspire that post that that inspired now this interview was that I actually was trying to hold one of my friends accountable for something in a similar fashion you know I was really just trying to say hey I love you but it has to be this way or no way you know like this is this is how I do things and I can’t change that and if you don’t want to do that that’s fine but I just can’t continue forward you know in this relationship and that transpired targeting I mean I don’t want to give examples but unfortunately I do think that that is necessary like it can get so you can you can you can try to like the woman in survival you know she’s really trying to protect this wound that hurts so much and it and I really do think that it’s worse than patriarchy is worse than than even male oppression you know even though I I I think that historically that women have these wounds because we have been oppressed in general in the power and I do that I do think it’s related but you know when when you don’t have anybody you know when you don’t even have it for example going back to patriarchy and and female animosity when you don’t have anybody you at least your sister you know and if you don’t even have that you know it’s it’s it’s it’s a really sad world and women really need each other like there’s no other way for women to actually get into Power you know even if it’s just self-empowerment it doesn’t have to be running the company could just having self-esteem you know self-esteem and having self-confidence you know you really do need the blessing of a woman even the even you know even if it’s just saying hey you know I see you you know something like that and you can still make your choices and Go in different ways but with respect and that’s something that that a lot of women that I have been talking to I talked to him I talked to a lot of women on a daily basis since many years ago I get calls daily at least sometimes up to 10:15 calls a day usually on average it’s like one or two you know maybe three and it’s usually around the Yoni egg that usually leads into a conversation about why she’s getting it that’ll lead into the top two reasons that I’ve heard why women get you any accidents to heal sexual trauma you know and usually women don’t have anyone to talk to about it with so this is this is going really deep and yeah I almost like I’m going to cry because it’s I hear your voice yeah please and take take a few breaths so I’ll chime in a bit and just kind of add what I can to this from my perspective for for a minute yeah it’s really demoralizing when people who you allow Into Your Inner Circle who are able to know so much about all your weaknesses and all of your vulnerabilities and your passwords and you are everything in a business it’s it’s the words it’s the worst case scenario one of the worst case scenario is to to extend trust and acceptance in and faith and take a risk and gamble with just integrating new people and trying to be open and receptive than and then not being able to always Comfort people at the level needed to keep them feeling very secure about their role in organization about their future about you know they’re there their they’re good standing and what not and I know it’s just a pattern inside of all of us the Wii Wii character caricature eyes them with the cartoon idea of demons but if you just want to think about fine negative thought-forms if I realize I feel like that it’s like a formula bit the the more time a person spends like you’re saying untouched or uncared-for in a communal kind of ceremonial affirming of all the relationships like refreshing and rebooting all of the Dynamics of relationships and some kind of beautiful ceremony that’s really bonding and unifying like every second from the end of one of those like in your Workshop or you could be a psychedelic ceremony or someone in ceremony as like as soon as walks away from that moment of unity immediately those mind we’d start to grow and those everybody is starting to be possessed and and and deceived by thoughts of their own betrayal or just to sort of General paranoia that comes from you know really like you said childhood being never being we never condition to receive an adequate amount of of affection in group sort of community ritualistic bonding initiations excetera excetera you can compare to other cultures but it’s it’s such a it is time to me I see the solution is being well if we’re so depleted and we’re so prone to become so shadowy when we don’t feel really connected with each other then we just have to accelerate the frequency of those bonding experiences to offset that that pattern and if so if you let people just sort of fade into their own mindscape they’re susceptible to attack and you don’t know who they are the next day they could have had a million thoughts of insecure and it just builds and builds a compounding interest and snowballs and then it blows up and if somebody is I mean I’ll say it in my case I experienced that I think we all experienced that sensitive like who who deserves to be the I mean I don’t want to be at the top of anything I don’t want to be the necessary the best anything I would just like to really be financially free and independent and just in my zone kind of like gardening and talking and hanging out with cool people that I enjoy but I don’t I’m not trying to be really to the alpha or the the King of the Hill or that you know whatever but but even just in the field and I see different you know you any Bits & bytes impossible to resist the urge to compare yourself to anyone else is trajectory and say you know whose work harder to earn this or that title or or not end up minutes normal but and I feel like it’s it’s I’m aware of that myself and there’s but there’s a difference between acting out those thoughts and feelings and then actually having a really self critical analysis for you’re like yeah this thing the stuff like I do not want this to to actually transmit through my mouth or through my words are on social media I don’t want to become a troll online I don’t want to poison the community I want to deal with this stuff you know in with with a real confidential counselor or you know I’m totally private or just between me and giving it up to the goddess and some sort of purging ceremony but know how fragile all of these Dynamics are and really trusting you know that we can all come up together so I don’t know if that any of that stuff you know resonates with you if you want to respond to any of those thoughts conversation is very delicate because to some extent both sides are valid you know they’re there are wounds that have not been healed or SEALS or even acknowledged but we have to be very aware as as we become more conscious about why we feel the way we feel and then why we may be projecting those feelings that way that we are and why we may be projecting them to certain people I think that that’s where the introspection comes in what one of the best ways to deal with these situations is really not to take it personally in to see that the woman has a bloom and for it to for you to have complete compassion for her I mean that’s been the only thing that’s ever really helps me you know even with the women that I felt that have betrayed me you know in the past close personal friends close personal girlfriend you know that I open up my heart my home 2 and the only thing that I can really tell women that has helped me is basically saying that hey this woman obviously has she don’t wanna wear how she’s projecting it and you know how he meant compassion for her because she really needs it that’s really the only thing that’s going to actually help both people you know one of the things that happened to me recently that I also talked about in social media that relates to this a lot that I think would be very helpful for women is I was actually out of I don’t I don’t know if you like Tony Robbins I I know he’s going through a lot of stuff right now with the song me too movement and everything yes I agree I agree I think he’s a wonderful person I think he has a lot to learn in that regard but I could do still think he’s a wonderful person and I do admire him so I found a couple months ago and I you know why I got like there was like sixteen sixteen thousand people there you know what I save money and everything I went and I saw him and I sat in the first row right so I fly out to like La I’m in Vegas lights go out from Vegas to LA and it was like the whole thing for me I went to lie by myself it was like like my own personal like like business vacation thing I was just so excited and you know I’m going there and I am in the first row he’s about to step out there all these leading up people you know for like two days leading up to Tony Robbins and you know so it’s it’s finally time that he comes out on stage and they have fire they have like all these things like in anticipation of her coming out so as as I’m sure you can imagine your people get out of their seats and it was almost like a concert like people like stand up against the stage you know and you know so I got up and I was and the woman next to me blonde woman probably middle-aged you’re so tall beautiful woman she says to me she said don’t stand so close to my husband so mind you this was extraordinary crowded I shouldn’t even notice that she was sick but but she or her husband were even right there you know I wasn’t interested in looking at her husband but you know again she was projecting her insecurity and fear that I was standing close proximity to him I’m totally oblivious to the whole thing I see instantly what’s going on because I was out because I was so oblivious and she was so passionate about it I was like well it’s obvious and I was so excited but I had really know like I almost Chuckles you know what I mean like I was I was kind of like like wow this is so silly you know so I just looked at her and I said I said listen you are so beautiful and you have nothing to worry about like it was something like I was just so like last two days ago about it you know and she literally like it was like she wasn’t expecting that at all I’m 29 she was she was middle-aged I understand like that and that’s that’s usually that’s the classic typical scenario you know when it comes to this female animosity thing you know and so really I what I what I said a woman is you have to really have that level of it just going right over you you know that was like you know it and I was so grateful that happened the way it did because it was such a great example now you know and I have to admit you know if I was in a sour mood or something I would have probably gotten said I would have you know it would have been different but because like I mean I invested so much to go to I was so excited to see him to see Tony Robbins it was like it was like I was just so grateful that I was able to actually like how that experience actually you know and she actually sat down like she actually ended up sitting down and she was totally you know it was diffused so yeah that’s a real example for women if it’s if you’re ever caught in a situation which like I said is very popular unfortunately maybe that’s something we can talk about as well I don’t know if this had you know that I’m sure you’ve experienced in various degrees I don’t know how recently necessarily but just in general it seems like I mean if you could if you could make a just off the top of your head up your head a sort of General list of most sort of thumb most damaging to least damaging like sort of a handful of the issues that come up and I’m just wondering like for me I would imagine I’m just Ramon experience tears I may have seen them I’ve seen the most literally psychotic behavior violent psychotic behavior they could get people in prison for felony assault and things like that is spitting me all the Jerry Springer stuff not to be crude about it but really it’s like the the fighting over the modern patriarchal construct of a man as the the only legally bound entity that is responsible after becoming a baby daddy to pay child support and whatnot so they’re fighting over the scarcity of the economic security of a having a man is seems to be a huge culprit and then runnin down the list in my mind is is just things like who is the most influential women amongst Tech circle of friends or within it some sort of organization and then you know how women are constantly comparing each other and throwing throwing each other under the bus routes of to whatever the beauty standards does your are and then I don’t know if so what would you say a man just to kind of for people to especially man who maybe aren’t clued into this and they just play whatever they’re doing they’re playing video games and not and not paying attention but how do we in my spiritual practice is that we are when we are at our best we are when we really like really deal with those ones that we can actually radiates we are like the beauty of who we are resources come come to us like almost almost you know without effort like we don’t we’re actually like pushing some away cuz it’s like okay there’s so much coming at you you know like when you’re really radiating it doesn’t matter how old you are it doesn’t matter your ethnicity or anything like that like when you are really vibrating a high-level you attract people to you you know you attract resources and those are resources you’re attracting friendships you’re attracting you know all of this energy to you and what’s interesting in the example that you were talking about like in peace Sharky and you know men wanting to take the lead and and all of that is that usually women are the proxy to a man’s power like where the symbol of a man’s power you know it is is that you should listen and that essence you know we’ve been really giving our power to manage by putting other women down through this female enema putting other women down through through these scenarios that we talked about we actually still are feeding the Beast you know like we’re actually you know Sisterhood is probably the best way of healing this whole female oppression you know like that that’s that’s been what I’ve seen that’s like an in and I’m I’m really kind of having like a piffany with all of these experiences that I’ve had with women in in this topic you know because like for example going back to the woman at the swing Robbins event you know without me really knowing she may not have that she you know she she may think twice again about you know what a woman stands close to her her husband trying to be like oh you know what you know I don’t have anything to lose I’m good you know your life forever and that’s how how Robbins ask of you to insert that neuro associative conditioning hack unplanned and I didn’t even like really know I didn’t even really think about it and then once I really thought about it I was like Wow and then I saw her when I see when I saw his text sit down I was like okay while like I think that this was a lot bigger than what I thought because it was almost like there was no no no defensiveness anymore it was completely I mean she got really close to me surrender I mean she actually stopped at that point you know probably was her insecurities the whole time is that she was out of her feminine you know and not knowing it you know like not really knowing that she was out of her feminine cuz she was in this defensive you know fight fight or flight mode and responsiveness and reaction in all of that so so yeah I mean women women really when you stepping into your family than you really know who you are and you can really be honest about your wounds and actually would like an open heart and have compassion for the people that have really betrayed you because it’s happened so many times and I can’t even even with you let you know this is happened I have a lot of women the reason why I was so inspired to talk about this is because I have so many women say to me and sometimes I don’t I’m not even talking about this mention that they just don’t trust women they don’t trust the intentions and they are scared of even having female friendships because of this pattern I mean it’s real it’s an all of us you know like if it’s one person it’s the tribe you know and it’s really a societal issue that I think needs more attention I think patriarchy is obviously a big thing but I actually don’t think that this gets talked about enough in regards to how this is actually causing some of the problem you know some of the problem with what we’re trying to really resolve which is you know women being finally in a place of respect . You know and so yeah like like this this conversation right here is for us for women who really have put up that front you know they want Sisterhood they want they want connection they want to feel safe they want to feel secure in a circle in a group and they’re having problems with it because it says this has happened to them so many times and it’s almost like a trauma will you say another effectors is it a when would say I love you talking about the radiance because it’s it’s really not you can’t really fake that you know me it’s pretty it’s pretty transparent when you try to fake it but when when you’re in the zone and you are radiating and you have spiritual practices and sexual cultivation practices then then you’re absolutely right here at your high vibrating bright magnet for all things sometimes. Sometimes you can bad things in people’s people who were wanting to Nestle up today energy who haven’t kick-started it in themselves or boots to have to hit rather but I feel like something maybe a pattern is also that when people who have been in that survival mode and that defensive mode their whole Lives who won to be empowered in community and Sisterhood or Brotherhood when they have access to the authentic energy the first time they met know there’s voices inside I’m going to last the bubbles going to burst this isn’t real I can’t trust this this is a scam I’m being manipulated and then those voices take over and say you just you just sabotage the golden opportunity and if you would have just done some of the maybe the practices you know the grounding practices and the are so many ways that we can set that is precisely what starts female animosity is actually getting that opportunity believe it or not actually getting that opportunity and and it actually measuring up and it actually being authentic the more authentic it is the more painful it is it’s it’s it’s so complex wow it’s so complex and if so in what did Jesus say he said by the end of the night one of you is going to betray me and he I mean you have to have that level of I mean it’s it’s it’s it’s it’s really that historical I mean it really really is I mean even Jesus like I said if Jesus crucified by one of his beloved mean it’s it’s really up for it I mean anybody can go through this do you know speaking about yeah in the in Mary magdalene’s gospels are there per se at one of the one of the Dead Sea Scrolls that revealed evidence in multiple fragments but evidence that that they were lovers the Jesus and Mary were lovers and that she was not a prostitute though I don’t have any problem with that myself but I know there was this bitter and broiled bitterness amongst the mail disciples who that they were lamenting that they would Jesus preferred her and he loves to kiss her on the and then they blank that out but we have to assume it wasn’t the hand John Lennon sing and her for the Beatles breaking up you know she was totally responsible which gives her a lot of power you know nnn in many people’s eyes she is responsible and that is again that’s like that negative like you’re giving her you’re giving her that power that you know she really liked even if she was the reason you know that is that is that so much power you know right there and you’re actually not looking at the man and saying you know you had any power at all I mean you’re actually disempowering him completely and giving her all the power and you don’t even know you’re doing that you know by like blaming her and like you know you know Jesus leaving or whatever that the story was you know so it was like like we have to heal our wounds or else we’re actually really going to be first really pushing away we really what we really want which is Union you want connection I mean that’s how are telomeres Grohl I can epigenetics like it’s even study that you have longer life span based on the length of the telomeres which are at the end of your chromosomes and you know it’s it’s through really feeling this like full expression of who you are you know in connection to basically your environment you know and so that’s like that’s that’s what this is about and by pushing it away we’re actually again we’re feeding that that that monster that is actually creating the illusion just Connection in the first place you know we’re actually getting into that without install unconscious and it’s so like I really don’t think it’s talked about enough so you know and at least for me like where I see the most is that we could be because I’m a woman but it’s in my email relationships you know that’s where I’ve seen it the most played and it happens really fast and see it happened really quickly you know a woman gets The Other Woman sees her a friend a close friends another good thing in this whole really hit home for a lot of my Latino sisters or know anyone who admired Selena best friend and she was like her one of her she was she was a co-worker but she was like leaving like her fans like this fans Department you know for like years and years and years of Janet up literally because of jealousy chilling her you know and now has like a martyr you know so it’s like you can’t really kill the spirit of the person anyway like that at the end of the day you can’t the jealousy isn’t going to sabotage them it’s not going to I mean it may it may be painful for the for the person but it’s not you’re not actually doing anything with this you’re actually just again feeding its really self-sabotage are really hurting yourself cuz he’s in jail for life you know and she still holds true to her story that you know it was because Selena did blah blah blah you know so she’s still holding on to that that Peter patter you know what I mean it’s it’s it’s a root chakra a juvenile thing you know and hopefully with this conversation absolutely yeah you know something comes up as you’re saying that to for me is I’m really glad I was really powerfully imprinted by the movie La Bamba when I was really young kid and it puts into perspective that sibling rivalry over success and opportunity and and as I watch that movie again as I’ve grown and I see the threads about Shamanism and just the fracturing of culture through enslavement to the agricultural system and I know the Bob the brother becomes a biker drug dealer and and he wasn’t given as much attention by the father cuz he was a step sign and you see Richie being such a authentic pure-hearted loving soul gentleman and in the end he was rewarded karmically it seems by all of his virtue and all of his righteousness and nobody would just sink further and further into the Vicious Cycle of resentment and self-destruction inverse almost proportionally to the success of his brother and wow what a what a lot I can say. You know if anybody anybody is a male wants to watch that to get it a real good sense of the male side of this girl recommended and you know something else I’m thinking as you’re speaking is it if I had all the time in the world I wouldn’t hurt your everybody into you know just just tickle them with words and affection until there’s just nothing but absurd Bliss coming out of them and unfortunately the biggest problem is we have no time to pay attention to really drop in to address people so everybody expects that oh yeah we’re all supposed to get up by an alarm clock and rush to get ready to go and be somewhere at work or do whatever and it’s there’s not enough time for even almost not enough time for personal hygiene let alone hygienic romantic relationships let alone that multiple Dynamics amongst people who are all struggling a different stages of wealth in call Cyn Love & Eric’s it’s this is not have time so how do we create more time out of buffer that those the time scarcity you know working from home is a good way to start directions I mean that’s a whole nother conversation I feel like I have a lot to say that I could say about it but does topic it’s it’s really close and dear to my heart I’m hosting I will say this I am hosting a sister Circle in honor of Union in Sisterhood on the summer solstice of this year is going to be I’m actually hosting a retreat is going to be June 22nd through the 24th here in Las Vegas and you can get more information on my website Union grace.com but it’s going to be actually hell’s specifically on June 23rd which was or which is my grandmother’s birthday and she’s like the highest example that I’ve ever had in my life and female you know reads like Angelic like Grace you know like a woman like just always Serene in the midst of a storm like just complete like I mean I owe you know so I’m so grateful that I’m going to be able to actually commemorate her on this special day really like hosting a prayer circle during this retreat in Las Vegas again June 22nd to the 24th of this year 2018 so awesome awesome yeah if you and we got another few minutes to go and be great to just say some words of prayer as you know for all the men lie women who have wandered away from the campfire of Sisterhood and community and are just I mean once you kind of burn Bridges and then you’re left alone it can only get worse from there so I will just pray that reconciliation occurs really as fast as humanly possible and then don’t just you know tear up a whole community and then sneak off into a new location where your unknown and just repeat the patterns and really try to find the people who were who are willing to provide the empathy and compassion has to be my formative words you have any other everything just want to share advice and share for people on both sides you don’t people being victimized by a sort of saboteurs he’s unconscious territories and then the saboteurs themselves what do they do next after they burn Bridges what about the male role when it comes to female animosity like like men don’t usually pick up on those little things because it’s such a it can happen so fast women and I think really the best thing to do is always acknowledge both parties always what you said you know reconciliation compassion you’re really kind of being someone who can hold like a safe container as a neutral party but by both like acknowledging both and holding accountable both parties I think that that would be like if that’s if that’s if any man feels lead to actually do that between two women I mean you would really be doing a huge you know so I suppose I feel like maybe it dates me to say this but but back in my day everybody especially women kept a private Journal where they processed their emotions and then they would look back on stuff and they will be like oh my God I can’t believe I was thinking that I was so wrong it was only like a day later that the truth was actually revealed I’m so glad I didn’t flip out because I would have lost everything but now people spew their first reaction to things online which lasts forever and creates massive multi cascading black magic effects and then you can’t undo that damage you can’t say oops I was wrong I’m so sorry and because you have to defend yourself and you just constantly become more fortified and defensive about positions that you took when you could have just you know put it into your private journal and do the exercise of writing something out so you can make sense of it and connect the dots and go while I’m actually really a reading and pack I’m actually completely irrational about this and maybe I’ll just like ripped a page shot in Burnet or just I didn’t really well and so I don’t know I hope that that that can be a thing of great. oh yeah I’m so grateful then thank you for allowing me to come on and talk about this and hopefully you know you to continue to do what you’re doing a good way and shift the Paradigm and bring more more beautiful I think just you know postage posting pictures of what works and then letting that that vibration radiates through I’m really moved by that seeing a lot of his nude yoga action throughout the world and just seeing a bunch of women creating Mondelez together all smiling and laughing and you know honoring their teacher in really yeah I’m just the harmony is it possible in and I’ve seen you know through timeshare through yoga and sacred sexuality and you swim in circles and there’s a lot of it I am thrilled to be in this time I mean rock on thank you so much I was so awesome so you only grace.com any other places that people should go or just go there and get connected with everything craze it was recently recently I ain’t it was my name Grace Diaz but I actually just changed it to Yummy Grace so you can do a lot of the Yoni egg practices and you breathing practices so how to use the Yoni egg for Central healing everyone check it out and men are never going to go back this sets the standard this these practices so please you know don’t wait till about don’t wait till Valentine’s Day make everyday Valentine’s Day and get yourself on board with this definitely still talk to you soon you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Rancho Park. Com

Forest Garden of Eden Music Video

We will survive
Gonna get out alive
We will survive
Our Forest gardens will thrive

Work for the land
Not for the man
When you build the soil
You’ll no longer toil

The Forest
Of Eden

The Forest
Of Eden

We will survive
Gonna get out alive
We will survive
Our Forest gardens will thrive

When the cities fall
Our tree crops will be tall
Under the canopy
We’ll be wild n free

Punks in Recovery with Craig Lewis TPP10


tp-craig-lewisCraig Lewis is a Certified Peer Specialist living and working in Massachusetts. He has struggled immensely with mental health issues throughout his life; however he has successfully transformed this into a life of wellness. Craig is successfully working as part of an outreach team in Boston, Massachusetts. He also tours the country, speaking about his lived experience, sharing his struggles and triumphs to help others.

Craig has authored and published the Better Days – A Mental Health Recovery Workbook. Craig based the Better Days workbook on his personal life and recovery, and every page has been used successfully in peer group settings. A Better Days support group facilitation guide is currently being developed as are Spanish and French language versions of the Better Days workbook.

Craig also has edited and published You’re Crazy Volume One which compiles first-hand accounts of people from the punk rock scene who live with mental illness, addiction and trauma. A second volume of You’re Crazy is in the works.

Craig can be contacted at: betterdaysrecovery@gmail.com

Please take a look at Craig’s websites for more information about his books, projects and events.



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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast episode number 10 I’m having a discussion with Craig Lewis who is very heavily involved in recovery from trauma addiction and other mental illnesses from punk rock perspective and he’s got a lot of great resources that he’s putting out and is really doing a lot of great work in the field so hope you enjoy the conversation and take care of Namaste welcome Craig to The Point podcast and meaning to connect for a while I’m really thrilled about the what you doing evolving in the punk rock movement and and mental health areas and if you want to introduce yourself what you working on your projects and give a little bit of background we’ll go from there my name is Craig Lewis and I live in Salem Massachusetts this is right outside of Boston Adam 41 years old I’ve been in and around the punk scene since 1988 when I was 14 as a young person my life was quite dysfunctional I didn’t really realize that at the time my parents really intent on having whatever issues we had in our family you know identified with me as being the issue on their parents went from Boston to talk to the doctor to try. has somebody agree with that I was I was meant to be unhealthy and ultimately I was put in the hospital and spent you know three plus years and Adolescent group homes in residential homes and hospitals and you know I got out of there really unprepared for the world and I spend time with me until my mid-30s really just very dysfunctional and and I know how unhealthy I was I was I was on vacations for many many years. Causing a reason why I was so sick and NetSpend spent so many years has Peyton laws assures and doing is Ian playing in bands and I was always chronically ill the entire time and not not not do to you my undoing I was I was I medication I now know I never should have been all that actually caused me to be unstable so it was it happened and I got some my mid-thirties and I really hate my life and I I’ve been working on it ever since so ask him and we haven’t played out yet or called rapid cycle and hopefully we’ll be recording and playing with the last couple months all the songs about recovery and wellness and fighting the good fight and I’m trying to be the change in the world that I had to desperately need for myself and that I feel is necessary to make the world a better place especially for my people who are people who really are marginalized to this will have identified personally at the margin life person and people will buy both of the struggles and I really getting a nice Matt so I feel myself very dedicated and committed to doing what I can to make the world a better place in that regard over the years I’ve become Michelle theer I went to school I became a peer counselor of a certified peer specialist which is the actual title that I have and I got a call to the green Human Services and associates degree and I’ve been feeling different jobs and I’ve been the same job now for almost 4 and 1/2 years in a couple months where I am working up here call Claire team helping other people with live experience with benzos drug addiction trauma learn to cope with their struggle so they can have a happier and healthier and more satisfying life and as I continued my attention toward improving the quality of my life and making more healthy and and really more informed choices about what’s right for me in what I need to be near happy healthy and and well and it’s a side of my life I realize that there was really in the punxsy in the country has been going on since I was 14 when I first got involved even dictionary, and really any issue you can imagine it’s really foggy that I was involved in all sorts of conflict and problems and I was really out of control and I realize now that I wish I had some understanding and empathy and where I was guided toward you know getting help that would be effective in and beneficial to me and so I would suffer last and have less conflict and ultimately I didn’t really get that and I was really nervous or to be dysfunctional Duty garage if you know poor living standards living in squalor you know how many years as I’ve been that was almost acceptable yet for me it was just contributing to my my chronic mental health El Hardcore Pawn Canoga Park whatever I don’t really care about the labels very much but it’s a lot of it but still had history and never at maybe I wanted to provide a forum for people to talk about their experiences so that they could really going to be understood be heard yelling and be treated with no epithelium and and patience and really and you know you have so many of us end up kicking around lives and so many of us end up self-medicating or guide used for a very long time and we lose lots of good people to you know suicide in overdose and and Reckless Reckless Reckless living that results in an acid issue that’s not it’s not been addressed and I feel like it must be talked about and I really I just came up with the idea to do the plug and go with a transient idea at first and now it’s a book and now I’m working on the second volume in the car for contributions is out now do I speak around the Country Inn & in Canada and hopefully I’ll be able to travel around the world speaking about my experiences and and if that’s off recovery and dealing with trauma and all of the important stuff to me in and they’ll probably be rain have going on as be better days a mental health recovery workbook which is something that I came up with a Spotify and internship when I went to school for to become a peer counselor and it was basically a support group curriculum that I have people responded to and people benefited from what I was going to bring him to the the group each week and they have really no training and I doing that kind of work I I seem to be a natural and as it as it worked out after usually given a group in different places United jobs in as of altering as an intern to try to put together and took book form so with the help of some. I get the book put into book form and now people are ordering and Beyond in the UK and Ireland in Canada and Australia can I see my life was worth the life of struggling and lack of opportunity that I really just not to come into my anger and I got a question is it it does exist within me and I really committed to doing my part to I don’t let myself up out of poverty in and lack of opportunity in and financial struggle but to also know my people my people are people who have been marginalized in whatever way they treated poems about society and and and denied it a Crime Stoppers in these are just treat dignity respect and I want to help those people make sure they send their struggles are there any cooking skills so that they can look happier healthier and more satisfying lives and it’s my life it’s what I do 24/7 whether I’m at work or not that is how I live my life and I try to have all my interactions you know the it potentially real vehicles for the moment sore I respectfully dignified and communication because I know how personally damaging to be treated like you’re not worth you know if I owe someone else and you’re not you know where the inside of respectful treatment stuff that’s really my life that’s what I do and you know punk rock and metal all of this stuff really comes together it as being the core of who I am and and and what I’m trying to achieve in this world to myself and also my community in the world in general and that’s my Direction that’s my drive and I’m going full steam ahead so I know they have it I left his hat thank you so much! I cry so beautiful and and I can relate to a lot of different aspects it makes me think I mean I went through the cool cycle running away I ran away when I was 12 and then I was in and out of institutions in became a ward of the court and bounced around to different homes in placements and whatnot and for a few years and yeah just long stretches in different places and would generally end up continuing to run away until they got me they got me locked down hard for about a year-and-a-half at one point and and I really got the gas before it LOL several times I was forced on medication and I luckily I was able to convince them that it was not helping me and I didn’t continue to force it down my throat but yeah absolutely being a victim not only has to societal like Mental Health crisis that produces the different types of problems people have but also be true caged in with with with other Pino’s like extremely extremely mentally disordered traumatized other other people other kids you know and then I was actually just I was not clinically myself anything other than just mildly depressed as a result of being stuffy nose like I didn’t I didn’t have any extreme conditions just at the time they they just wants everything everything if you’re a juvenile and you’re running away and you you have drug problems you’re just sort of put into the same funnel institutions as minors with severe behavior problems and stuff so I got to really yeah I have a unique insight into the policy and institutions in and all of the all that sort of stuff and I did a lot of work books and I was put to the 12-step program went to 90 meetings in 90 days in head sponsors in yeah was put through many many hours of of different types of as therapeutic modalities and most of them were pretty most of them has he was very critical is too interesting to be like an anarchists and a punk hypercritical nnn aware and being forced to say you’re never going to see the light of day again unless you completely can form the ultimate Conformity this isn’t just what your parents think you should do if you have parents which I pretty much didn’t miss my father abandon me and has there been in the family when I was three and my mother was pretty much so busy putting food on the table that she was so emotionally unavailable it was rough going through all that in the end going from a totally unstructured environment where there is no Authority and then getting into punk rock and going on the street and finding family and tribe and being really initiated into a tribal subculture and then unfortunately being dominated by severe addiction and violence and alcoholism and stuff like you’re saying it doesn’t it’s riddled with with pathology even though it’s our best hope in a lot of ways though it’s really important to be helping it evolve and grow to be more supportive than have more resources in interesting me it was people like you that had probably the most affect an impact on me when I was going in and out of Institutions that because they’re always seem to be like at least one post-punk angel that would be that would gravitate to they see my boots and my Mohawk and stuff and then they would they would kind of give me the secret knowledge that they said they were punks you know that had gone to school to get a social work degree and so they were working in these institutions to kind of get there a minimum hour requirements for certifications and stuff so they would always smuggle me in Punk record send zeins I say most of my in my most quality education and in in the punk rock movement was the CCM Elders that would that were working in these places that was secretly be able to pay myself have you found other like have you kind of built build some good networking done some good networking with other professional Punk oriented social workers and clinical psychologists in I’m not a social worker or counselor but I have gotten some great networking and I do know a fairly decent amount of social workers and I also know if punk rock to your counselor and also just threw out my travels and you know the website to track a lot of interesting people and the call for contributions for the book them doing brings in a lot of interesting people as well and you know my professional mental health workbook by many people in the severely jitomate you know you got this was one of us and that’s really a lot of people that they needed to show respect of us are considered mentally unhealthy cuz we’re inside sorry. Or because we are unique we have our own style of dress or own way we were here and so many people in the system especially going back to the past several decades now remember 25 raising their face so a lot of people are treated badly because they listen to Scott and they had their own beliefs that said a child that won’t inform them you know just simply telling you this information doesn’t make it true as punk rockers and people with with strongly develops a personal item has a run but how do we get out of society where people could be respected and treated with dignity that many people are just considered mentally unhealthy because they have is s r e l a lot of people do that and you said it talk about the vehicle cheats for their other the color of a year how they know that really pushes people the way so I’m sure if you have an experience that person you know what I’m talking about and medic medic see this is a chronic courses offered at 3 to do this kind of work and dye made from and being accessible on Facebook through anybody who wants to chat or talk if I have time and show me people who want to make the world a better place and you want to get back to have this this like this deeply rooted desire at your house from Concord to they got at the punk rock yes of course cuz I lied to her right difficult and Andy were looking for a place to be who he always loved being judged 11 also really have this desire in this need to help make the world a better price and summer squash down by Society in the system and and that it’s really hard to really good blossom into the person that you suggest Lee want needs to be and it’s not going to come across people like that all the time who really didn’t know that I could get better but you didn’t know that these kind of jobs exist and if you can get trained to do this kind of work is it absolutely amazing relationship and what I’m doing and yeah that that that in some ways that makes you sad that people have struggled so much just like I had struggled so much and I never been offered that information and then once I got even the tiniest bit of information that was possible I took that ball and Iran Iran Iran I’m still running and life getting better certainly You know what last step of this is that odd thing is that I do not get shocked by some of the very troubling things you see when you do some kind of Human Service work so it kind of gives us an advantage and you know be able to connect with people cuz we get the violence and we get the trauma we get to substance abuse and we get the the you know by the police or something it personally are we know of it in the other thing I wanted to say about that is that on McBride catch my train of thought War II was that people from the punk scene you know people who are who are in various police and police about you know turn is Amanda autonomy and mutual support I mean what is more punk rock and what is more alarm at those believe that having a role where you provide Mutual support to others who are struggling and to be able to have that in my professional life where I work as a peer mental health counselor but also have that in my personalized my social life when I meet people when I travel and whoever right she was on the phone and just got over being part of your people who described, and they actually what I’m doing is providing Mutual support for people when does Cabarrus situations where they can be really like I have a very very much in line with my beliefs of you know supporting each other and to Build a Better Community Building others better world so every day and it’s awesome and there’s way more than anyone knows and I want to help create strength in that community so we can all United in and also identifying the people out there who are allies to us whether they have the experience or not or whether they having to go help you know Spirits are trauma or addiction experience you’re not that allies the people who are also working Human Services many of them try to do this work a better place you know for their family member you know they make things better so I can also recognize that allies also that sometimes to a better because we protect ourselves and sometimes it’s because we we blocked at beneficial to us and I want you to just got back shed hear that that some allies or many allies are actually quite that they are allies to us and we can work together to make the world a better place and help each other and I aware of in the news or any you know anything going on so some people are just good people and whether there will come soon and not leave certain political ideologies or not they can be embraced and will want to embrace us and doing the work we’re doing and people here that because so many of us get pushed away and we naturally build up defenses to protect ourselves and it’s important to recognize that we do that could be of help to us and we should try to use our best to intuition I who those people are and see what we can come up with me see what kind of changes or improvements to our lives that we can wait and then approached with making the world a better place in different healthier for all of us right on. Yeah I totally feel that and if I’ve been on a similar path feeling like the nihilism and pessimism that’s sort of built into a lot of I mean if your punk that’s of a persuasion of just total apathy and eyelids and then you know when you come when you get into the the Revolutionary or insurrectionary activist modality of punk and then you get your ass kicked in the streets and you can’t be friends go to jail or you go to jail whatever you just get bludgeon and demoralized and disillusion and you said you had hope and now you’re actually more traumatized kind of like in The Matrix you know if The Cypher you know he wants to take back the disillusionment and just to be blissfully ignorant again and I think that we’re going to probably the punk rock element coming into does the social science in clinical psycho psychologie in of this kind of recovery and stare. Work I think they will end up introducing some sort of clinical terminology for the the condition that is becoming too too aware of the totality of if you when you start to look at the karmic consequences of living on the back being in the first row living on the backs of all of the ecologies and in economies as the other nations you know that are under the bootheel of of the West and all that you’re not just solving your own personal life family Karma and traumas that we’re actually living carrying the weight of the world here if you never if you’ve never cared about any of that stuff in your kind of just more of those completely apathetic Southampton pain it won’t heal still never affect you that that pain in that sense of responsibility and a sense of not being able to be content just fitting into society or just fitting into the sort of fashionable scenes and stuff because you’re like no I need to be resisting the size as my conscience has been awakened to the this expense entire Global disorder there’s so much additional, wounding baggage to inherit that that that disillusionment but then there’s also the gift within that of finding a sustainable way to be resisting and fighting back and you know but doing it figuring out a way to actually actually expresses your gift you know and end in from like a kind of typical spiritual kind of using thing as soon I was fine when you’re in you’re when you’re in the zone like if everyone who is fine is what puts them in the zone that’s a positive constructive creative self Transcendence you know purposeful activity weather is gardening or doing you know writting or writing poetry or doing volunteering or whatever it is if it’s something that’s not just serving your narcissistic ego I was just not going to get you very far but something that is help genuinely giving back in serving and it is something that you enjoy doing that’s where the real internal Pharmacy switches on and you become your own organic psychiatrist that medicine you know know and have a more and have a such a a reason to find those gifts in a reason you know to like we don’t have to pay once you get disillusioned and switch Sean you have to you can’t really sleep at night knowing that you’re part of this giant monstrosity of exploitation you got to figure out how to become more locally and regionally self-sufficient and sustainable and and how to make you said create Mutual Aid System all kinds of overlapping layers of mutual Aid so you can start to have more Independence and autonomy from the systems that are really perpetuating all this stuff so yeah I’m totally hopeful and in excited about about what is going to be like as you know we make the world a better place for everybody and his future Generations role in but also particularly with our own server tribe you know like I can imagine that honey I’ve started want to dedicate my life to making the next generation of people who do get disillusion whether to punk or whatever else give them more constructive and more sustainable ways to express that rage and to resist in ways that don’t you know get them in really trapped the way that I’ve been trapped in and peer pressure to do things that you say you know in certain ways unsustainable El Paso weather most people I believe who are being treated for mental health issues or trauma or addiction a mental health issues or addiction generally has to put a trauma either alongside what’s going on with them or has precipitated it and so when are the judges are made in the documents it written and diagnosis it diagnosis are given the trauma ask that’s what you may be the main source of the dysfunction or perpetuated or or or or Nursery in a negative way that the difficulties we were having or how we coach is often not even addressed during the whole truth, is the major component and often I just had precipitates you know the real the real I just kind of struggles who are basically labels and put in the box and told you this label this word is in this box and I’ll just medication in that this is your life is now it’s going to be and you know no one really care so that was my experience it’s a lot of parents that also wanted to say that I know we talkin about we we certainly have to acknowledge that this parts of the punk scene is people in the punk scene who absolutely have whatever reason I have a very apathetic stance I don’t care about politics are you know making a change in the world and in a way that maybe ice I might see our our our potential to do so however I think it’s also crucial pieces mind but also when we interact with others as far as finding common ground to meet at and not just compared to some people who are already feeling shunned or themselves from others for their own safety and that’s that these individuals to are very apathetic and you’d call him and get gas pump whatever we call them I mean something happened to them experience something like that maybe they were extinguisher made it more complicated for them really I mean we’re all the products of what we’ve experienced so individual for a community really must also be validated for the fact that they’ve experienced something real life most of what we don’t know about we have not had that conversation to add to this weekend we should be more empathetic and understanding understanding find common ground which would then reduce the result of individuals who are anti whatever it is we’re trying to do that you know Progressive so that are the way they are they do things the way that you would just say what they say because of their experiences and I would go very far as to say that in many situations are most people who acts in ways that are disruptive are or are against what is the collective real good reasons for doing that if if I don’t like it leave if you don’t like it or it’s not helpful to society they’ve experienced something in life that is informed them do to protect themselves or that manifest we have to acknowledge that that’s possible or potential explanation and when we do that we let me extend that massive amount of epithelia people instead of judging them in condemning them in and then you don’t know. and have their license because if that’s how it’s going to be and we can make that really at most empathetic wonderful decision to ourselves apart a to not engage that negativity cuz of that sells down and park Beauty must one another must one of us empathetic things we can do it’s not get into it with them and it is somebody is being destructive are there getting drunk out of his colon causing problems that are causing fights or whatever it is we get nothing out of it nothing out of well-being and wellness and Medical Health Center perpetuates already struggling struggling and suffering even if they’re wrong with me even if it’s wrong someone else do they care about that’s contrary to everything I believe in care about whether that means having really politics or whatever it is I understand that people are the products of their experiences and we do the things we do when we adapt and our brains and our minds how to defend ourselves to protect ourselves and I can get that I guess that very deeply as person lie and we will all be much happier if we eliminate some of that unnecessary conflict cuz it gets none of us are getting pissed off and alienated from our communities or from the community which really we all have a much more in common as to how she even with each other then the differences I wanted to make that clear that that’s really where I come from on that comment about you know that is this sustainable living and living a healthier Life by not impacting those who are less LIRR the providers of a lot of our services and and foods and ends in a situation that existed as many people want to be treated right in my my actions don’t always make decisions that are the life of those people who know I cannot directly speed at impact and I want to just put on the record here that I’m aware of that and I want to be better about it recovery of struggle and just keep myself going there today at the massive full-time job as I think you understand as well and maybe the listing will get and I have work to do to make sure that I can have left of an egg impact on those in the world that I can’t see your hair at night I think crucial to be accountable for our word that our actions and that’s something that overtime I hope I can make more adjustments to really be able to be more to adhere more to my beliefs of a really not harming anybody and I’m glad you brought that up because it made me realize that yes I have a lot of work to do as far as living that life that I believe would be beneficial to all of us if we’re able to actually apply it in the garage for our lives to thank you for bringing up that point and I’m grateful that you share that and it was in this conversation describe reconciling differences between the different camps in punk rock if that’s what’s so amazing in in in well stated and even going back to Axiom days and I was just like a teenager if your right eye it was a lot of lot of conflict a lot of some sort of psychic and even physical conflict in show environments and and scenes and stuff we’re more energy was spent fighting each other than fighting assistance in a lot of cases and I I think I honestly secretly was envious of the the Hedonism most of total telepathy and so there is jealousy there and envy you can’t be no be having a good time cuz I’m pissed off cuz I’m studying all this stuff about how the world’s screwed up and I’m going to make you more miserable and not acknowledge your the truth of your life experience and there’s this whole very malignant growth of the people that hyper intellectual elitist view PC vs whatever street punks are cast bunk’d whatever and then and then and then they rebelled against their like hey we got because we were sick of rules and now you’re telling us we have to have all these rules fuck you you know it’s Dynamic Anna and I really obviously I think she has somewhere in the middle is is is the middle the Watercourse Way you know it’s like between the extremes of Pleasure and Pain is you know where we want to have a baseline of homeostasis mentally and yeah I just wanted to throw out the or ask you if you have any thoughts about the pathology like the Psychopathology of of being the feeling like you know a lot of the more conscious or where people using that as a way to put people down and actually yeah add to their wounds not acknowledge where they’re coming from and I mean I don’t want to name name names of particular movements that I think has the issues very kind of full-blown but I think you can imagine how they’re are you know they’re really just morally Superior elitist and that is more division more ego foundries and stuff and not likely not actually changing either really engaged and lots of call clicks then it all back then what was called and that never should have been there really hard dry Community Honda other people I slid in the other than my spells and very very unfortunate and I really was desperate for percept insight as I said I grew up in group homes and I didn’t really have the kind of life that that would have really prepared me for the world appears and you know what I was very much my maturity level was was it over the years and I was traveling I really called by the barriers and tell the conflicts that didn’t need to be there and I suffered a lot and if you looked into it and and you know it to the late 2000s and what I really begin my recovery process and you know I miss you guys but hit rock bottom and it was either liver die and I chose to try one last time to get better and I’ll be starting to get better than me really struggling through it that I laid it happening is an interesting someone I want to share this cuz it won’t hear the last thing about that is that the with you that the people who buy and most in the most contempt from and the most abusive toward me what are the people who are the PC pumps and tanks and the elitist you know ya 2000 error get out new hardcore punk Center that pumps and I mean completely different person will not allow me when I when I when I really I recognize that the PC and all those people were not my friends at all and really did not give a crap about me except I was a good L I was just fodder for the for the internet message boards that the people who really embraced see people the people who are the people who you know you know we’re all grown up punk rockers and and and Let It Go who works in a PC who said things that like you know harmed and Ed Embrace fully and with no issue and many majority actually of the PC and just send me an actively participating and end in not treating me well and increasing with disrespecting a lack of understanding and it’s just that people who are you know very much in the PC crowd anarcho-punk crowd and all of those people that they have reasons why they stick together that way and that’s how they express myself and I think most of those people are very insecure and need to be a part of a pack to be able to feel feel like that’s what I don’t like how I’m treated sometimes and understand that people do what they do that kind of life and I’m not going to condemn them to it looks like good friends are not from the PT anarcho-punk Brad they are people that a lot of people might not necessarily has the best picture say about Grace to me I’ve been supportive and nurturing me it was there for me when the very people who like and I work really take responsibility for me what does beef to make peace and I’m really generally you feel pretty comfortable you know people don’t know who see my issue I don’t I don’t take it personally realize that people do and say what they do because they had experiences or whatever they had going on their life they haven’t spoiled them to act that way and I do my very best that I’m not perfect I make mistakes but I do my very best to embrace that reality that people act in certain ways into things to say things because of their experiences and then I’m not going to feel bad about it and lock it up. I’m going to try out that at the reasons why and I may not have any idea what those reasons are and they have to do with insecurities are or like mob mentality but really doesn’t matter cuz I know I’m better off into it and they want say what they want and you know what else we going to get up and be healthy life and grasses that those people left my life or are they want to embrace me wholeheartedly and it’s very interesting that that this is what I experienced as I continue to experience a punk rocker you can imagine and if you want to talk about giving the and that’s good enough for me and doesn’t matter to me is there a PC pong or chaos pong or a skinhead of whatever variety or whatever because whatever reason walk up to that talk Siri speak about my experiences of what I’ve been through and I like them in my life better that tells me that they get it we have something in common and that even a society as often to devenish answering people for certain things that they say and do I don’t want to do that I want to stay on estate I embrace you because I recognized that whatever it is that would also saying about your battery this is that is that really you just suffered he had a tough life and things weren’t fear and you just do the best you could you survive and treating people badly or say horrible things but I understand all that stuff all over here is all those decisions are directly impacted by Twila Paris and at things that happened that I can’t possibly know about and I’m not going to condemn. Just like I don’t want to be condemned by others as I felt so much in my life being torn down by others and other people so very complicated social life is complicated your boss seems a very specialized Punk scene that is pretty much you have to understand that you can have a cheer like crust punk shows and whatever they called TV now and I will spare part of this crew in this guy’s not so often is so sexualized but I try to get the gauge of anybody who wants to talk and I don’t really care healing moments of the saying yeah I get it you’re fucked up I get it it happened so you want to do what do you want to go from here to honoring appreciating sake so cold so cold more like Street Punk kind of Cloud V I was just checking with anthropologically studying different shows and you know during all over and stuff and there is something sacred about the circle pit and that that that’s Been to Spain by Spinoza different more old-school types of pumpkins where you were there and that’s like a really it’s like a it’s like a putting the the mind on spin cycle in a washing machine is this total punk rock group exorcism I study Tantra and and different Pharmacy you know spiritual Traditions from India and China and stuff and it’s like purification and releasing you know the the energies that are negatives that attach to a sin that act like vampires and want to create more misery and suffering in the world and our happy tooth are you happy to disguise themselves in a variety of different ways people are just accepting and tolerating this extremely toxic amount of negative emotional poisoning that is going on in them in their bloodstreams constantly with all of the Slime Wars on forms and stuff just all of this on cerebro and disconnected from the heart like just noise of conflict that that that just becomes this norm and you go into like an activist meetings or even like a house meeting at a supposedly enlightened you know Community House Savannah kiss or a ton of people and people are just waiting to tear each other apart and just create more more hell and more suffering and and Mori girl in more Agony and around all that stuff and it’s nice since I’ve gotten into more different esoteric Traditions that acknowledge you know that John the human psyche is so sort of inhabited space where the things that are making our lives hell or actually like discrete entities are organisms that are subsisting off of our energy and functioning on a plane of existence that are not visible to our to our normal five senses so with psychedelic Shamanism in different forms of deep meditation and even like with Tantra is it did the use of sexual energy as as a medicine for purification and in as a way to like this loss exercise these energies these entities Better Living inside of our energy Fields this is an interesting Dimension that I’m really getting deep into bringing back I think both of us have spray and stay out of the sort of punk rock ghetto to seek answers and health and healing for Purcells and now we have gifts that were bringing without any agendas or authoritarian elitism with it but it’s hey this work for me check it out less judgment Less elitism in criticism and write this is the scientific directions that I’m trying to take the clinical psychotherapeutic or psychological approach to a lot of healing traditions of the East that are more symbolic and not even just be supposed to say traditional pre-modern shamanic modes of healing where there’s an understanding of the spirit world and that human beings are basically extremely vulnerable and extremely defenseless especially alone if a human being who is estranged from the orb of healing love light energy that is an intact tribe or Village of people living in Us in an intact natural habitat that’s the molecules of human mental health a baseline of mental health and it’s it’s maintained by shamanic practice tennis go to mediation between the negative forces in the spirit world and his desire of human populations to maintain a state of homeostasis where we’re all loving each other from birth to death know everyone has a purpose everyone is is given sexual access and affection this age appropriate and is abundance throughout their life and then the physical materials security and ecological security is there because in our traditional past as hunter-gatherers you know and then and its various forms of Horticultural societies you know there was at intactness and a couple minutes and then you just literally don’t see the some massive pathologies of organized Warfare and violence then suicide and incest and all these horrific pathologies to the shaman it’s the infection of weekend populations and weekend individuals of these demonic entities that are always there and always Genetically speaking cracks and fractures in our population has been in our individual minds and when drama happens cultural trauma or intergenerational trauma of all kinds we basically become so weak and in so susceptible is like we have psychic HIV or psychic immune deficiency and we’re overrun by these demonic entities that it’s just they’re just happy to disguise themselves as as our personality so we identify with them and say yeah I am this label and the the really hyper elitist intellectual cerebro activist movement people and I was one of them I was really like sharp so I could really hurt people with my voice you know I could really make people feel bad about themselves and so I I was addicted to that and I was totally ignorant and in delusion about it because I thought ya and this is how I’m healing the planet and I’m making a little better place mean well I’m basically becoming an instrument of that same negativity going to like you said and you know some of the stuff is like really complex or esoterica you have to I mean I don’t think you need to face to explain the spirit world I think you can you can have a second traditional psychedelic shamanic ceremony of experience and and have a have a complete visual understanding of the impact of of different of these different things that are attached to a string attached to her thinking and basically pushing Us in farming or negative emotions and that’s getting closer through this Renaissance Inn in clinical psychedelic research studies for the restore of the medical youth legal category 4 for II LX has a different kinds we’re getting closer to this sort of new germ Theory which with which wood with when a microscope with able to with able to discover basically and implicate microbes as the source of of infectious disease the Psychedelic perspective is like the microscope for the for the psyche and for the the sort of structure of the invisible structure of the larger human energy field and being able to look into that and study and explore that with this cool as the Psychedelic medicine is giving giving us an understanding now that can be really revolutionize the the mental health industry and be able to say this word for instance when you have that perspective you can actually see that these medications that people being drugged on the pharmaceutical industrial complex is like spelling and pushing people are actually weakening people’s physical and mental immune system so that they become susceptible to even greater degree of infection and that’s where all this really extremely psychotic side effects are coming in and because we still are in a medical cert is impurity that it ignores the spirit world biggest say that all those are just eating disordered neurons that are somehow being bumped into by this chemical but in fact there’s too much more Sinister thing going on and that you wouldn’t the punk rock mix. Silver Lake West Bismark fist anti-religion anti spirituality total denial of the spirit world because we’re so traumatized by religion you know it’s taking me a long time to relieve have to get a new education on like what what mental illness it really actually is in it and how Commons in various cultures traditional look at these issues in and crying your help for them I see now that what I was blind to for many years that I just accepted because it was I was so blind and so diluted like everyone else in the PC World in the activist communities words if you bring a shaman into an activist meetings in and just have that woman or man with a sketch pads close their eyes scan the room with their third eye and make a sketch of what they see well all these people are just fighting over these Petty semantical things just extremely nasty Eagles assert assertion that is not connected to the heart and not acknowledging the the Oneness and this connectedness that a deeper level that everyone really has not really listening to people when they talk and just waiting till like Karen down with that actually appears like from a higher dimensional space with the people who are trained to be able to operate as surgeons like surgical Exorcist in that space with are going to see is that these people have become habitats for extremely nasty creatures that are able to hack into and spam their mind stream like you said and I need that negativity that grows it’s alive and it and it has is a dimension of an organism make a live Anna Sun another another dimensional plane of reality and so if you have zits and we just don’t we because we don’t normally see that we just take it for granted and just let it run everything and that is exactly what its agenda is and I love what you said about how like yeah you when you when you get so brutalized by that experience that you seek the heart and you go and find the people who didn’t have that type really Destino way of being and they are the ones with Open Hearts that are actually creating space or people that sit to accept each other and like not Take On The World and unsustainable Morley ABY this way but just try to be good people and try to do less harm and be present I had the same the same Journey I really appreciate that and I’ll come full circle back to the end yeah and it’s a PC struggling because people just really want to feel strong and secure and empowered and and this country through all that different things that happened with the military being in Syrian control and and media control and absolutely true pharmaceutical companies which you know I’m not I’m not going to I’m not going to sit and some people benefit from their medication and some don’t know I’m very careful to not say you like I’m either a medication because I I do take the summer off and not entirely sure that I needed and stirring trying to taper off and I’ve already had two doing up sometime but I want people to be able to feel I want to hear that it’s okay to take steps to help yourself and you know our society has is very much very pressuring and very forceful and raised. Smells like Menthol and very unforgiving and I want to get people to know that you know when we are faced with the trauma and addiction that we can serve ourselves and support those around us and helping others make the most informed decisions about how to deal with what they’re struggling with and I wanted people to be careful but can getting medication cuz some people may benefit from it and others can disagree or other and that’s fine I respect those people to a lot of people the reason are Jarritos hurt less than that and feel better and be more stable and successful in life in life and it’s really important for me to know what it is and just because I believe one thing about how to deal with things with my life doesn’t mean that’s right for someone else and get the best thing we can do for those people and I spell it does appear as a friend as a community member I thought you would make the most informed decisions about what to do about their struggle what to do about their information possible to decide to make an informed decision on what they want to do and what major should I choose may be different than another that person might choose to take medication and and meditate and exercise and another person might choose to you no good acupuncture and swim 5 miles a day in only eat a certain specific diet and and go to your house with another person like say I want to see a therapist but I want to only see a psychiatrist who is under the age of thirty who’s recently trained at school and University of the newest techniques has been informed about recovery and information possible which will result in a much better prognosis I think I don’t want to say that take religion III come from a fairly impressive religious background night my feelings Jewish and you know I’m always going to recognize that is 70 benefits from being religious spirituality and of course we recognize that our religion can include spirituality and not be religious so I do respect this Puppy Bowl at my work if you believe in God and pray and you know what I validate that and that’s going to help him get through the day even if my opinion of that help or not may be different it’s irrelevant because my job is to be supportive and helpful. I was really like to believe that God was just this thing I was going to help me and gave me a Higher Learning very much the hard way that that wasn’t the case I’m an atheist now or maybe more like a tent again you know I respect that people do what they do for whatever reason and I don’t want to condemn anybody for making a decision this different than what I believe as far as will you take medication or not you believe in God and not for you or you just help yourself or not even say it was that you mentioned a few minutes ago about your Chanley aware that you’re into that could be used to really cost I don’t want the one I used the wrong word but harm to others and I’m well aware that I also have that similar but I know that intellectually I could use my knowledge and and words to just guesstimate somebody because I am as you can probably tell from this interview station skills that I understand this stuff and I have in it select that will that will allow me to really be that way and I have to work very hard when I’m upset at people or angry people to not use that that little part of my brain that to be so Sinister and malicious because that’s not how they had to live my life and I have to be aware that I fixed her and think sometimes there’s a person with trauma in the struggle that I’ve had that it could be easy to let go and just want somebody to what I consider valuable in my life preserve and including must not in anyway you don’t go looking for complex and must not in anyway participate or feed the fire of a college because just because intellectually I could be an ass yeah man oh well yeah I think we definitely has a lot more to cover and will continue you know what other dialogue I’m going for sure and yeah I think I really like the inclusive shirt of the words you’re using I really empowering to to you know open-hearted and inclusive and accepting I want to acknowledge it is as you said very important to accept everyone where they’re at and I like what you said just getting to the Dayman really that that is what we’re all trying to do and and I see it’s the under that they say namaste acknowledging the Divine and everyone you see and and your similar likeness to them and really speaking at Divine and all things and in keeping your mind open to the truth it’s difficult when free sample we’re taking on these things the pharmaceutical. Show complex yet there’s the Paradox that you can’t just take it away in and have nothing there and you can’t make someone feel bad if they don’t have an alternative and maybe you know it’s it’s it’s a transitional saying it’s going to take a long time to take still took ten thousand years to create this absolute planetary disaster it’s not going to be fixed overnight going to take a long time to heal and and I think the the best thing that we with the punk rock ethics can bring to all forms of whether it’s psychiatric or do differences as a therapy and healing and Recovery is bringing the ethic that itch I think your people should professionals who are providing service should make a living and should be and should be to make it an honorable and decent living that Society acknowledge is the value of and help support and and that ultimately with Society valuing the work that you’re doing and the stuff that I do and other people then it can become more accessible and more available and with more severe access and it’s me know if this capitalistic hierarchy of wealth and privilege and access you know everybody is suffering we all need love and so there’s no so there’s no substitute for Love Is No Love in a pill form the love has to be through the relationship with your community and your family and your you know your romantic Partners in a nature and spirit and you know the divine all that stuff and there’s many different from weight Pathways and cultures are actually like bun all these different ways to have a have entitlement to access love and meaning in connection to the things that are going to keep us happy and healthy and yes we can bring more access than more fair opportunity resources It Whatever all this interventions that that are maybe transitional that we’re having to work with you know whether it’s the pharmaceutical medications or like you know for example you’re flying to Peru to go to the Amazon to spend weeks or months then beeps your vacation ceremony with Ayahuasca shamans and stuff like that that even as transitional because that’s not really sustainable or or local for people and it’s very limited access to people with privilege the punk rock’s. Let’s hack this stuff and Liberate the Technologies and make people in power with DIY Solutions you know and and and just make make it so there’s there’s that we provider on alternative options that are more affordable and and more you know have have integrity to whatever we choose minimizing the feeling of spelling out to anything that we don’t feel like we have integrity with everybody’s fighting a battle and we’ll all be a lot happier when we don’t contribute to perpetuate to that person’s battle or the suffering and instead if we can be understanding and empathetic and choose to not further their own suffering at you not bring us something to the effect of suffering you know we have that control and we must make that choice for her to do what’s right and I’m trying to help bring that that that that way of thinking around and make you go to listen because I believe that happiness and satisfaction for everyone in the world I mean I just wanted to ask if I could is there a website for people before we say goodbye today yeah please do and how come people follow up and get ahold of you thank you about one of my books is called better days and mental health recovery workbook which is a pump that you just people coping skills and the other is a book called you’re crazy which has the first volume at 27% accounts of people from the pump being who you are talking with her experiences with mental health drug addiction and Trauma currently have to call the contribution volume to are you crazy I just have to include people first hand accounts being mean and dealing with addiction and Trauma www.com Center calvary.com so www.bunk1.com and other coping skills workbook can be found at BWW bettordays recovery.com but it is recovery.com and there are sample worksheets and. Seuss on that pays you can download and see for yourself in if we might benefit from coming off my benefit from it at least turn them on to it thank you so much for this opportunity that has been great to speak with you definitely look forward to speaking with you again soon in the future and I’ve been my honor and pleasure to speak with you as much love and respect and up the punx else will talk to you next time to the touch of Time Podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and improving the podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Township Park. Com namaste