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Joel Brierre yoga

The Taboo Bending Path of an Entheogenic Yogi with Joël Brierre TPP282

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In this episode I’m joined by my new entheogenic yogi brother for an exploration of his radical personal journey of transformation, and his taboo bending offerings spanning diverse wisdom traditions both ancient and modern

About Joël

Joël Brierre is a Yogi, teacher, psychedelic integration specialist, and IMHU trained spiritual emergence coach. He began his relationship with psychedelics as a teenager in an exploratory manner. Marveling at the chance to explore the unexplored, Joël began training with Curanderos in Peru in 2001 where he further pursued these heightened states of awareness. Eventually shifting his focus into a deep and devoted yoga practice, he began teaching yoga and meditation and soon moved on to India to study in an ashram setting in Rishikesh. From there he traveled all around the world, soaking up knowledge and sharing what he’d learned. He was reintroduced to plant medicine in 2009 while living in the Caribbean, and began to incorporate this into his yoga practice. From there he went on to study with various guides and facilitators of differing lineages and practices With this combination of knowledge, Joël now leads retreats and workshops around the world on the plant medicine and yoga connection. With over 10 years of teaching and multiple teacher trainings, Joël is certified at 500 ERYT. Joël mainly works with the compound 5-MeO-DMT in it’s pure form as well as in the venom of the Bufo Alvarius toad. This compound is said to be the most powerful entheogen on the planet, allowing participants to experience a non-dual state of awareness in which they cease to view reality as an individual and are completely absorbed into the infinite. Joël believes the toad medicine’s effect of a non-dual experience is congruent with the Samadhi states that can be attained through yoga. He assists individuals through pre and post integration using a program he derived from the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali.

Please visit his website at:
https://www.itsallsource.com/

 

My Non Verbatim Show Notes

JB: originally from washington dc, growing up, crack epidemic, crazy

turbulent time

awesome parents, parents, new age practices, yogic practices, experimenting in modalities

spiritual lifestyle

knucklehead, learn lessons head on, take longer to learn up

after quite a few life lessons, stints in jail,

2003 moved to Virginia

started bartending

couple years, did nothing

didn’t want to be in scene from before

over it, over drug addict/dealing lifestyle

no idea what to replace with

excessive drinking, eating, working day and night

eating and drinking a lot, very angry person

had been slim, got into heavier set around that time, above 200 lbs, miserable

felt no power to change, no will to stop the way I was eating, drinking

didn’t enjoy it, toxic relationship,

one day re-read, book, way of the peaceful warrior

first time, good book, second time, hit like ton of bricks, ready for it

what am I thinking

took reigns, took control of self

inspiration, determination, got out of relationship

exercising, eating more healthy

different relationship,

young lady decided to get me to go to a yoga class

laughed off idea, man who works out going to yoga class, even knowing what it was all about

still ingrained toxic masculinity, felt triggered, wanted to reject

got me to go, lay semi conscious

fed humble pie

I felt it, lasted for weeks after class

physically and mentally

started pursuing deeper,

bikram yoga, going to a couple classes every week, enjoying it, feeling lacking something

other modalities, hatha, vinyasa,

taking practice deeper

2008 moved to virgin islands

things started to unfold

st. john,

caribean, fathers haitian

took me right in, 2/3 national park

tree house resort, around since 70s

lived in a place, lived like never never land from Hook

tree houses connected to each other like ewok village

lived with 2 teachers, practicing everyday

a few spiritual awakenings seemed like psychotic breaks, could only relate to psychedelics

refraining from substances, little cannabis here and there

abstain from alcohol

had experiences that reminded me of psychedelic experiences

in 90s, really into psychedelics

parents got me casteneda books, leary, huxley

deep thirst for adventure into unknown

virgin islands, experiences, more than slightly psychedelic

kriya yoga, kundalini

3:30 get up, practice from 4:00 to 7:30

reintroduced to medicines by two teachers

trepidation at first, had a lot of bad trips

hardcore psychonaut, 15-20 tabs of acid,

¼ ounce of mushrooms

go hard back in the day, medicine would always try to show me things I wasn’t prepared to see

issues, things gone unnoticed, present, front and center

lot of anxiety, jump back into realm of oddities

this time different, sacred setting, meditations, chants, opened the space

found myself in this beautiful space

anxieties, using breathing, surrendering, finding this is a whole different game

spiritual practices, geography to make my way through this much

looking through emotional patternings

why they were there

ego attachments

contacted dad, develop relationship with him again

lot of pride, identified with previous criminal drug dealer self, wanted to get as deep into it as I could, glorified, process of letting go of story

after out of business for years, convicted felon, see how holding on to story, speak for present life

re-introductions to psychedelics and medicines, catalyst to take everything to where it is now

traveling, lived in india, ashram, few awakenings

wasn’t working with any medicines in india

move to australia, sydney, opened studio

powerful urge to work with medicines

seeing shamans faces in meditations

mom and I went to peru, worked with san pedro cactus, mother tried to bring healing to 18 year old self

see, introduction to that lineage, re-introduced in australia, deep calls,

message to peter gorman, put out book,

sapo my soul or something like that, contact him, very connected down in amazon, asked if still had connections

next day, young lady, gf of a friend, from mexico, bringing curandero from peru, coming to do sacred ceremony

fell right in, started working with him, became fire guardian, sweat lodges, learned what I could from him

moved back to carribean

moved back to states

all of that still churning, evolving

manifested in combining medicine into yoga retreats, had been holding retreats for 10 years, started in bali

6 years ago, bringing medicine in

wasn’t confident to serve professionally

serving dmt to friends

bigger ceremonies, facilitating

evolved to integration

put there for a reason

psychedelics are deeply rooted in hindu mythology and in yogic philosophy period, what is soma, entire passages of vedas, singing worship to goddess of soma

agreed to be psychedelic potion of some sort, which substance not agreed upon yet

understood that connection

started using patanjali’s 8 limbed path of yoga sutras, direct application for psychedelic integration

extract juice, extract message from abstract experience

helping your growth

re-introduced to 5me0 dmt

first tried back in 2000, don’t remember

this time, ahhh

experience was the culmination of everything I’d every learned and studied

pure full body, full spirit understanding of samadhi, full cessation of self

god molecule

draw within for few weeks

stopped teaching for a while

ceased to teach classes there, let go of slots

something wasn’t fitting anymore

wasn’t feeling I was doing what I was here to do by teaching a 90 minute vinyasa practice

still beautiful, wasn’t want I was interested in teaching

more satsangs, lectures, workshops

call to take medicine service deeper

trained to serve with Shipibo tribe

clear message, no, this isn’t the medicine you came here to serve

5me0, fear

not sure if you’ve seen someone on 5me0 , very strong experience, has resulted in death

tried to resist, push out notion, no no, creep its way in,

I realized, I needed to learn more

reached out to quite a few other known , respected by me or peers

talk share notes, information

trial and error

help self and beautiful wife,

retreats, focus work on retreats

idea, taking someone out of daily life, growth seldom happens in comfort zone, but make sure they’re comfortable

make sure they’re received very lovingly/warming

prep with participants weeks before retreat starts, online meetings

individual prep work

seeing where holding resistance, suffering

5 yogic principles of suffering

holding container, holding space for whatever they need

making sure nothing for them to worry about or think about

everything taken care of

scary or daunting deep work, feel supported, feel held

get to feel into themselves, expansiveness, great mystery

support of group, support of us, tools at our disposal to handle anything that comes up

purging experience, things need to come up to be released

solid warm safe container, face what they need to

after that, setting in place what they’d like to see in their daily life

doing this work is process of elimination

what do we put in its place

how do we want to operate, respond to loved ones

taking advantage of state of neuroplasticity

using very very well defined system for psychdelic integration, tryptamine sutras

using this system of self inquiry

each participant gets own practice, prescribed daily session

instead of getting swept back up in old routine, have something they can do everyday 10-15 minutes, piece of reading, something to draw back to experience

nurture what is growing

integration very hands on

there for all participants after experience

touch in personally afterwards

about creating lasting change

TP:

amazing, I could listen to you talk forever, every rabbit hole, exquisite, connecting dots

have a lot of catching up to on systems you’ve woven together

what comes to mind is my first, broad set of questions

I just imagine, I’m listening to your story, fuck yeah, amazing, what we gotta do, positive side of postmodernism, syncretism, fusion

mixed martial arts, what about mix healing arts

haters on cultural appropriation, fallacy of appeal to tradition, taboos

hearing voices, indigenous or non indigenous

you have this integrity, hear it in your voice

testimonials will be where it all shakes out

positive life transforming experiences, speak highly of you, that’s what matters at the end of the day

to bring to question

I’m sure you’ve had some push back along the way, wondering if you could talk about strategies

to keep bringing it, integration of different modalities

JB:

to be expected, only came out of psychedelic closet about 4 years ago

social media, caught kick back from yoga community first

came to realized, system of yoga, far more riddle with dogma that I ever thought possible

push back, you don’t need foreign substance to show you enlightenment

all in you

yes true, but always bring up fact that this substance already exists within us, endogenously

believe responsible for mystical experience

in dark, after day 5 or 6, pineal gland will secrete Pinoline, in turn that will secrete down

lungs are main factory of dmt

no science to show from pineal gland

simply means to bring vision

vehicle of mystical experience

ego loves to advance itself in spiritual practice

it will make its way up just with awareness

attaching to progress, lineage, paradigm

take something outside of that paradigm, receive it as attack on world view, views on life, start to lock up there

all paths lead to source

spiritual practices are like thorns used to remove other thorns

they’re all systems and we have to accept that any spiritual practice is by definition a system of the ego

individual

pure source can’t come through as undifferentiated word

filtered through subconscious and minds of humans

analogy bling monks feeling elephant

all feeling small part of big mystery

when start thing that ways not right to do it, that’s when things get questionable

holding on too much

challenge people who say psychedelics are a short cut

may be lessor in time, but not a short cut

are we gonna limit to fabricated experience of time

where our awareness goes there is no time

experience by time shorter, a lot of experience in one

responsible use/proper integration

extremely powerful tool for self inquiry

used for millenia in every different culture

we like to identify with image of enlightened one, pure one, noble one, the yogi that does not need to seek happiness, unswayed, impervious to emotion yogi

I feel this archetypes no longer serves its purpose, drive for rishis mystics and sages, to get consciousness to where its at

hardcore discipline

eventually spiritual practice becomes our own prison, our own maya, just as quick as a shopping mall can

our practice can take us to the top of the mountain, but if you want to

jump into cave, real wholeness, pure mystery, let go of everything, including your beliefs, including spiritual practice

great saying, if on your path to enlightenment you encounter the buddha, kill him, cut him in two

any systems, any time we create systems around spiritual practice, we are both helping and inhibiting ourselves, a bit of a paradox

these systems are needed are for the ego, not bad not a wrong thing to work with and use the ego

whole movement, kill your ego, crush the ego, ego’s not amigo

have to have ego to have human experience

ego is necessary

ego wants to hold on to its identifying with spiritual practice

not bad to play with the ego, have systems for the ego

not like we can jump straight from here to enlightenment, we’ve gotta get there

ego’s gonna fight us every step of the

way if we don’t give it some sort of system

mantra is essentially a way to keep the mind focused on one thing while our awareness can simply merge into the everythingness

have to let go of even that

real myster, true mystery, source itself, beyond our understanding

beyond words, language, can’t be encompassed or understand within any practice

that’s really why I resonate with vedanta, spiritual practice but without walls…but they all have their own walls at the end of the day

TP: wisdom, best peaceful arsenal of tactical concepts, approaches to these issues

people held back by rigidity of dogma, could be from any of these traditions/modalities

amazing neurolinguistic ninjitsu tactics

can’t think of too many instances heard accounts of yogis, spiritual masters, very anti entheogen, can’t think of many accounts of people who were experienced with it, its usually people who are not experienced who want to say I’ve already been there, I’ve already been there, wink nudge, I’ve heard that one before

interesting where that bias comes from

counselor for someone exploring entheogens, irrelevant to their life if you can’t talk about the same landscape, can’t just assume that you’ve been there

straussman came out

had more time ahead in career, after a certain point, the longer you live, that’s less you have to lose

quite a grace

get to a certain age stop trying to impress people

different life stages

different thought forms around relaxing and finding your path

sample different things, duty of care, safety, being held

opportunities to find your path

not first person I’ve heard say, they felt intuitively called to explore serving aya

it’s not most scalable medicine

applaud you, you’re called to serve dmt,

shamans of global village

rak is dear friend

takes em on a ride

I think I found the one, you’re one who’s gonna devirginize my 5me0 virginity

bufo toad tattoo, bucket list

you got a new client

JB: we call them participants

5me0, in sync with the evolution of consciousness

been around, remember, it was legal until 2011, ordered off internet back in 2000

church of toad of light, 80s

being used, wasn’t catching like it is all the sudden

dr jerry, dr octavia, toad blew up

it is, reminder for us

if we look at whats alive in the meme of society right now with consciousness

big questions being asked

AI, singularity, roots of consciousness, where we’re going in evolution of consciousness

no dual experience

other entheogens can

this is a real non dual full immersion into the infinite

complete cessation of self

into wonder of existence

loosen grip on control of it

to allow us to begin to see what we really are

showing, the toad is reminder that we are the medicine

work with the pure molecule, synthetic, less harmful to toad population

not presence of addition 11 alkoloids,

7 of which cardio toxins, know to harm elderly

drama in sonoran dessert

toad is reminder that we are the medicine, don’t feel we need to continue pillaging toad population, toad goes underground for 9 months out of the year, the only toad that produces 5me0dmt in its secretion, believed because it does go into the dark for 9 months

shows us if we go into the dark we can start producing this medicine ourselves which we do

medicine is reminder we are the medicine

making lasting change

having an experience, using responsibly working into daily life

TP: what’s process of getting to the pure molecule, fascinating, all about protecting threatened and endangered species when they become fad psychedelic experiences

JB: made in lab

people say oh that’s not natural, that’s fake enlightenment

over attaching to specific idea

shulgin, I’m I not a manifestation of god, am I not a fraction of the infinite, I’m making these with beautiful intention, am I not nature creating, so I really agree with that

all about where it’s coming from

we know where it’s coming from, it’s made with love, tedious process to make

becoming more widely available

disappeared for a long time

TP: more on naturalistic camp in general, but if it can protect wildlife, probably the way to go

I’ve had beautiful experiences

permaculture, every plant is native, it’s native to planet earth, a lot of bias

fascinating, sounds like you can feel better about

with a bit of time left, kind of journey personally, kind of going with flow of initiations, initiatrixes, initiators,

transcend trauma, be in recovery, I don’t have a very othodox path, with yoga

felt natural for me to gravitate towards unorthodox tantric

open minded, open ended

now I’m kind feel like I didn’t do the

like go to college take fun electives first, gonna have to catch up on more orthodox yogic practices

getting older, landscaping, taking its toll

at a point where it’s important to have asanas, daily practices, haven’t disciplined myself to do

going for sexier stuff

how you frame, language around sexual yoga, tantra, different currents of thought

JB:

funny you said with asana, something, more than a few months, kinda stop practicing more than a year ago,

body kept telling me, stop doing this

cut it down

kept getting injured, mind keeps making it goal oriented practice, opposite of what yoga should be

cut it to very classic simple, basic poses, hold for long time, deep breathing

disagreeing with body, tried adapting in every way

trying to identify with being a yogi so much that I felt I had to hold on to asana, if I wasn’t practicing then I wasn’t a yogi

very odd part of unfolding

comfortable with in last few months

take care of body, exercise, trying to get exercise from asana

no longer resonating with me

not serving me

might again at some point, my real philosophy, keep your practice fluid, don’t hold on to something too much, fine balance to be found between discipline and holding on to a practice that’s not serving you

discernment

sexual practices

experience with classical tantric lineages

studying there, sexual part of tantra, shut that out, my sexuality was an issue with me my whole life

early bloomer, experiencing desires at young age, most people at that age don’t experience, tormented by them

when I became age to be practicing, there wasn’t a whole lot of control,

committed relationships, step outside of relationships in sneaky ways, cause pain cause hurt suffering, I’d feel guilty and wrapped into so much shame

with yoga practice eventually drank kool aid, yogi should suppress all sexual desire turn it into creative energy, draw upwards the spine, yogi doesn’t need sex just a distraction

I really ate that up, put sexuality and urges, completely rejected them almost

so many practices to draw that something up for something different, that wasn’t sexual instead of just understanding its something that’s very alive in me

opening up far more recently

shedding off shame

how much shame around sexuality did I have

trying to hold myself to that monk image, when it just wasn’t me

sexuality and intimacy is a spiritual practice itself

observing oneself in the midst of those, some of the deepest works I’ve ever done in life

investigating that, how it’s making me feel, wonderful

lineages

haven’t been working with

interesting, I am feeling drawn to investigate classical tantric practices again

growing aversion to structures out of fear of dogmatic tendencies

now its just having to find that balance remembering the structures are there for a reason

not over identify with practice, don’t take in everything hearing, swallow it whole

TP: meta narrative neo tantrikas, path to total liberation, embodying all the chakras, kundalini shakti, towards total freedom, have to build to the fire to have the fire burn, it is those practices, you can want there to be nice big celebratory bonfire, but it doesn’t come out of nowhere, this dance you’re talking about

can drive self crazy as man, with the whole when to ejaculate

sometimes the most liberating thing is to not fuckin care

JB: online people post/comment, only way is semen retention anything else is just being dead

jc it must suck to be you

we get in our heads so much get militant about spiritual practice, only path for everyone

what’s working for me right now at this moment must be the only thing that can work for everybody

because somewhere in their head they are bitter that other people are having orgasms and they’re not

animosity, oh you’re just wasting your energy

of course wonderful peak orgasms can be come to without ejaculated

something to be said for that release as well

I don’t think we always need to hold everything in, I don’t think we need to torture ourselves, like these yogic teaching and disciplines taught us for so long, no longer feel it’s necessary

relax in certain areas, does not mean cease to use critical thinking, tools

wounded healer archetype no longer serves its purpose, we no longer need to beat ourselves down to rise our selves us, no longer need to take from ourselves and exhaust ourselves to serve others,

beginning to slowly remember and realize we draw from an infinite well

TP: invite you back sooner rather than later, zoom into more of these topics, really well spoken, a lot of stuff we could commiserate about

if I could put in a bit of commentary to close my thoughts

the opportunities that we have to experience all kinds of different extremes

if your’e adventurer, seeker, psychonaut, yogi, tantrika, why not explore extremities of different practices

cave divers, have a line to follow back to a point

not get lost in someone elses trip

hold on to that

powerful aspect of mind hacks

if you’re a trip reminder yourself you’re on a substance and it will wear off

be flexible to embrace different aspects

sounds really healthy

applaud efforts to dance with different modalities

appropriate experience for folks

final thoughts direct people offerings

JB: in closing I would say, line to hold on to, engaging in exploring into the unknown, line we hold on to is the stillness at the center, learning to cultivate awareness of that stillness ability to navigate through spaces

get back to eye of storm

cultivate, always there to drawn on as we engage in wild wild adventures

email joel (at) itsallsource (dot) com

itsallsource.com

retreats on website

kaivalya kollectiv, beginning of a mystery school based around everything we’ve just been talking about

hope to see you all soon

Moshram Banner

Permaculture Eco-Warriors Establish The Moshram Part 2 TPP281

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In this episode I’m joined by MC Mycopath for a two part series on the past, present, and future of his personal permaculture journey and the establishment of The Moshram

My Non Verbatim Show Notes

MM:

10 years doing landscape consultations, small scale urban repurposing of people’s front and back yards, more hip with local, everything that’s taking place, microbio in soil, plants that co-mingle,

also consulting folks with health

certifications achieved through multiple biochemists

learned that the more fresh foods that we consume, the healthier our cells are

the body that takes us around here

with that, understanding and passion for that, I really wanted to be able to provide highest quality product of food for myself and others, coupled with education

spin farming, brother and I spin farming, didn’t necessarily bring in permaculture

added permaculture principle layer to spin farming

densely growing high value crops in small area

regenerate the living systems

help maintain my living system, at a cellular level, also at a financial and social level

been about 5 years, that I’ve been on this site, had multiple sites over the years

site, least likelihood of it being taken from underneath my feet, all apart of journey

seeing successes and failures in past projects

led me to finding this space

it was through a friend, that was aware that I was looking to scale up

spin farming in brothers back yard, with brother

then when on to slightly expanding at space I was at

really like to bring it all to one location and just do this

generally around vegetable crops

annuals predominantly

put in a layer of perennial crops

also longer term species, fruit trees

learned fascinating things about fruit

fruit tree requires least amount of water over long time period

gives back a lot to soil

soil is really just millions or billions of living organisms

eating pooping, dying, whole things perpetuating

through roots and leaves, branches, fruits, they drop all feeding system

year in year out

bring together this whole concept

put it at a term, silvopasture

rows of fruit trees, or some type of tree

aid in creating shade

aid in slowing down wind

not requiring a lot of water, relative to other annual crops

in between rows, would grow annual crops

maybe these annual crops are things just to regenerate soil

rotational crop, in between lettuce, grow vetch, cow pea, to reinvigorate the soil from what was depleted from what was the previous crop you cultivated

what we set out to do here

very densely packed rows of vegetable crops to sell at market and too individuals through CSA type program

longer term species of varying fruit trees

simply move forward upon goals of project, something that’s always an unknown, fortunately and unfortunately, that collaborative team of 3 individuals broke down

mediator, wasn’t sustainable, they didn’t vibe well, both wanting to walk away which they did

I was not very interested in walking away from another project, having it swept out from under me, again ,because these two egos weren’t collaborating

move post differences

differences got in the way

I wasn’t feeling, stepping away from all of the work we had done from contouring the land, to bringing in so much organic matter, infusing bacterium, all sorts of soil microbiology

perennial fruit trees, you have to wait some time, 3-5 years minimum to reap harvest

I didn’t have it in me to just be like you guys aren’t into, either am I, I am into it

don’t just want to do it here, want to perpetuate this stamp, different biomes

so cal region, mediteranean biome, only about 7 med, climates on the planet, tend to be the most lucrative for humans to co-exist with surroundings, temperatures, food crops, wild and domesticated

love to see what it’s like in other bioregions as well, other climatic elements

we’ve got going on what we have here

you came forward saying how interested you were in helping perpetuate this project, it was like the clouds parted

working on this site, we’re on 10s of acres, just working out a little over an acre, just maintenance alone for one person is daunting to say the least

just because we put together a holistic system doesn’t mean there’s no more work

actually perpetual, no end to amount of work, just in pruning things, cultivating

easy to plant seed, easy to harvest, cultivation in between, I don’t know if it’s gonna survive or not, I’ll do everything I can

lot of energy mental, physical, spiritual

one dude, isn’t gonna hold the world on his back man, either are two

TP: makes me think I’m gonna use another term for defining permaculture and call it ecological parenthood

caring for something to maturity

young families go through it, terrible twos, fighting, health similar thing

tree system here, adolescent,

MM: not as easy as dealing with child, can’t teach a tree how to fight off a squirrel, they’re bullies

TP: the timeliness of this, synchronicities will be unveiled later

rick straussman, first actual government sanctioned psychedelic research studies since the 70s, gap of 20 years

spirit molecule, interviewed,

recently, basically saying, people would ask did he take DMT,

he would give a vague answer or plausible deniability

eventually recently came out, admitted, yeah, I was doing it

I’m like fuck yeah, I wanted to hear that for so many years, scientist had the balls to do what he was talking about

ties back together, something he said, meta level life philosophy

you know, back then I had my whole career ahead of me still, a lot to lose, judged, critique, older, less of my life left, that’s much less life to lose

we’re at a point where I don’t want to piss off the wrong people, I don’t want to be a target, wait til we have resilience before we have grand opening at this site

eventually will ripened, eventually forced by demand, people will need it

sweet spot in time, security measures, support we need, capital, be in place for the time we want to open the gates

get to that point when, we did the thing, not much left to lose, tell the story, give real names, not give a fuck

certain things now, I feel like, at least statute of limitations has run out on some things, one metric

that feeling, we’ll get to a point where we don’t have that much to lose

my side of story of having fallen in love with this site, toured project in the past, wishing I could be more connected, occasion to visit

definitely feel like it was one of the most epic works in progress of so cal permaculture

ability to do it right

social permaculture dynamics of human sector, zones of humans, sector of humans, human elements, could have most beautiful property, dynamics surrounding neighbors be your worst enemy, false starts,

time energy, blood, blisters, heart ache, amount of effort that goes into permaculture project, somebody that’s they’re mission, to have that be continually ripped out in front of you

people don’t even see it

persecution of religious sects, we are the lost tribe of permies, that are constantly being haranged by neighbors

adapted us also to travel light in our personal empires

positive side effect of lifestyle of ecological romance

nudge nature to create symphonies of seed and soil

less hindered

student of Tyler Durgen, waking up after car crash with Edward Norton, the world I see, laying out strips of vennisen

hunter gathers, thriving on the carcass of industrial collapse

utopian anarchoprimitivists, intellectual elite, from eugene, green anarchist, wanna be poser,

not everybody was a poser, the heads that were the elitist, very hyper intellectual, authors and writers, wind bags, had all this talk

in eugene the founder of food not lawns, we’d go there talk bs about living primitive, blessing her with presence of our lofty conversations, decades later we don’t have our food forest, we don’t have fruit trees maturing, resentment, burnt bridges

super extra appreciate hard work that’s been done

this site, work you’ve done, huge grace, a pass, I could and should very well be punished for how far I’ve strayed from the path of planting trees, defending them, standing by them, storms, storming off of partners and lovers, mission and duty to make a stand

there’s a lot of times I’ve said this is not the hill I’m gonna die on, and this is the first time I can actually say this is a high that I would die on, for a lot of reasons, biggest gift to me, is to know

who is tantra punk, wacko jerk off wanna be tyler durgen alter ego, that split off from psychedelic ceremonies that got botched, and now this floating soul part of my old wounded self, has created this internet porn star wanna be freak, don’t have much ecological, I have bastard children trees, all over the place, to be able to be like

while you were out there, doing this thing, that could have got you in trouble, some what of an adventure, fool hardy, never would have expected that I could just cheat that time that I walked away from the permaculture path, did this freaky stuff

hey ben, dinners ready, fruit falling from trees, I just get to get back into the zone, almost 10 years since I was in deep coastal mountain broad acre permaculture, doing the trees, doing the systems right, the scale, the soil

waltz into this at a point you’d be beleagured, bromance novel cover if there ever was one

thanks to the designer of designers, tip had lift glass to him

be great to go into the shark tank part of this, now the reinforcements in the form of me and my humble but growing financial capital I can put in to keep things afloat, elbow grease, sweat equity

optimizing dance of mutuality, with responsibilities, rights, tasks, finances, between the two of us

alchemy we’re doing, the renaissance of this project, bring into 2.0 era

trajectory of , drawing from the permies community, paul wheaton, survival podcast, larry santoyo, different instructors we’ve had

business model for the site, the rebel farmers like sepp holzer, austria, kramaterohoff, epic contour narrow ponds support subtropical microclimates, high elevation fruit trees

so abundant, epic, done epic shit, considered to be the ultimate rock star, don’t think any other place on earth, other mature permculture projects, the profitability and scale and grandeur, I don’t know what I would compare to the kramaterhoff on earth

wonders of the world of permaculture tour, walk through it sometime

business model, everything else in agriculture sector, globalized race to the bottom, poison, toxic

convince people to want to buy american, niche for premium products, usually sick people who can afford to take your advice

don’t want to give crutch of supplying, want to teach them to do it themselves, leverage their acreage, their community

the idea of farming to enable other people to not be horticulturalists, shift from that as soon as possible

paradigm, living the dream, market gardeners, the biproduct of creating plenty of best varieties of food we’d like to eat, we’ll have excess, and with that excess we can play god to an extent in the economy because of how much of ecological ninjas we are

rather than try to package it all in plastic, get it in all the stores, scale it to the world

we make a more dense local economy out of it, healing center, learning center, teaching them how to fish, not selling them a fish per se

in my crude nut shell of a pitch, that’s the trajectory we’ve been most in agreement about

if somebody had infinite budget to invest, why should they buy into this as working co-op member, or non-working co-op member, how can people benefit from helping us

MM: few dudely dudes, I’ve met could really have no care to well being of nature around them, small minority of people I’ve spoken with of time on this path, over 20 years

experience with biodiesel co-op, very localized project, I would do education to engineering firms, groups

education at earth day festivals, people contribue, become non-working members of biodiesel co-op because they like what’s going on, think it’s a good direction

if anybody has capital, monetary, social, spiritual, any of the 8 forms of capital, that they are willing to share to perpetuate, the direction of this project

this may sound overzealous, I couldn’t think of a better project, or more dedicated individuals to invest that capital in

it’s one of those put your money where your mouth is

my clients in landscaping and in the health regeneration, many of them, actually buy into what I have to share, because of how I’m living my life

I’m not just using words, I’m hands in the soil, I’m doing everything I can at every corner

from what I know of you, been a crucial part of so many projects, that at one point or another it wasn’t your jive anymore for whatever reason

here we are find ourselves together on a mountain we’re will to die on

and it takes a community always

for anyone that would like to be a part of this community and see it perpetuate

be able to visit the site

local,

to benefit from the harvests of all of this, where else are you gonna put your money, time, energy, love

I’m not sure

it’s like you said man, this is one of the rare sites of southern california, any and all help, helps perpetuate a holistic project, working towards the great good of the local and world community when it comes down to it

held a lot of retreats, get people from all over the world, host in tropics, pretty good centralized area, highly abundance

ripe things to eat, throughout the year

amount of people that congregate, so diverse, so incredible, have a lot to share

at this point we have a site that any and all people interested have the ability to share

before it’s all been other people’s sites, very temporary, the time that gets spent there

long term expanded version of those experiences, and “retreats”

where else are you gonna put your resources, if you want to see great things happen, cause that’s all we’re really into

passionate

tend to only roll with those who are equally passionate about making this place a better place to be

agenda 21,

different concept of human settlement zones, from what we’re working towards here

TP: yes

to say the most and the least, that says it all, what could I add to that

nuts and bolts of this business modeling, goes back to legacy of my parents at some point will read the manifesto my father wrote for member based, for-profit nonprofit, fruit based operation, deep in heart of washington state apple orchard lands, building a massively, dense, intensive educational commercial project, rusticness, design constraint, make all tools, tools to make tools, melting down old cars, human powered, they were one of the first and most highly respected, wasn’t hippie commune, very studious, technical, published technical manual, subscribers to periodical, whether they purchased wares or we students, subscribe to catalog, kind of like micro version of mother earth news

department of making you said, interviewed mom, years ago, maybe now the time, one of those things you never know when it’s appropriate, get people on podcast, get perspectives, state of world, might be our last conversation, could go for anybody, did great interview with mom about 10 years ago, transapocalyptic, utopian for her, fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree

hard dharma, karmic seeds of melt down of family, trauma, wasted years, trouble, lot of years to get on the course that fell apart

a lot of people, children of the hippies

there’s something magical about the fact that here we are kind of at the age our parents were, as a generation, hippie, back to the land 2.0, we had woodstock,the rainbow gathering spawned from that, what are children of hippie’s doing now, actually fulfilling some of those dreams

we have now psychedelic shamanism, and not just acid, the electric kool aid test, these people went back to the land, no shamanic oversight, no elders,

even Geoff Lawton jokes, sad joke, comic tragedy, I wonder how many communes failed because they didn’t understand proper solar orientation, they bought land on north facing slopes, gave themselves an uphill battle on steep slopes facing the shadow of the sun, don’t even know why they melted down

permaculture,

we can learn from a lot of those mistakes, well positioned to demonstrate, and proudly display the next generation of the back to the land movement again at a time my mother talked about in the podcast

people went back to the land at the peak of the OPEC oil crisis in early 1970s

it wasn’t 1969 and summer of love, melt down of haight ashbury into tweaker rape culture madness,

they didn’t go directly from peak of 60s to back to the land, survivalist, apocalyptic thing, cities going to evaporate and collapse, economy gonna collapse, have to head to hills and start building a future

but brought in patriarchy, monoculture, only little bits of eastern mysticism

wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for that

now, okay, this is for me the most pure and karmically cleansed and most righteous set of circumstances to do your thing

are you really these eco artisans the whole world should pay attention to, or destined to fail

may not be the last place I ever work on

do world tour of biomes

if you take permaculture design course you want to be like a army ranger, navy seal, eco macguevery, swiss army knife, want to be deployed in every climate

because you know how to do things like harvest snow melt for nursery underground

be a bad ass shit, being a bad ass eco warrior with all this knowledge

do what special forces and green berets, what if all the engineering and money and investing and capital, everything that went into napalm and agent orange, if instead of destroying ecology, all that cultural engineering of warfare, went into actually creating a more resilient opposition through permaculture

tactical permaculture, make it impossible for them to put land mines in territory you want to defend, created thorny trellising, motes, father in military

being a bad ass, be tactical, have a reason to train, not mma, good for them but

wanna have something I love that’s worthy of defending that would keep me in shape just by working it, origins of kung fu and farming

bit of a tirade from me

MM:

I really like how you brought up that the fruit does not fall far from the tree, parents

definitely feel, that’s a thing that goes on in nature, we’re a part of it

we’re carbon copies of these people we call our parents

we emulate them in so many ways, because of the signature for which they gave us, dna

as father was one of most brilliant men I’ve ever met in my life

I would come forward to father with things I’ve learned, he would share how could he thought it was, what it made him think about

prior too, a little apprehensive, most brilliant man, hey check this out, not knowing what kind of feedback, always positive re-enforcement

honoring that we can do as individuals in relationship to our ancestors, that can be very important for mental scape, how we conductor ourselves in our lives

bro, sounds like a spitting image of your dna tree

I would imagine your mother and father had some similar thing for them

fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree

TP: I should shout out thank you to your father, have to name the library after him

lots of bro time to catch up on, and create that space where we can, aya ceremonies, 2 or 3 generations in one ceremony of family members, pretty epic

we’re healing ourselves, healing each other, healing the masculine, and creating a safe and welcoming space for the feminine to be free to be fully expressed

said before no offense, I kinda feel like, well it goes back to waynes world, fully functional babe layer, you can design for the woman in you, and the woman you want on you, save 9th form of capital for another episode

not a monastery, not womanizers either, between monastery and rapey womanizer cult, we’re probably somewhere in the middle

we need our other ethical brothers to step up, we have some healing to do in our tribe of permaculture, takes a lot of those talks about our fathers and what they did and didn’t teach us

so, that conversation is an open forum, its fun to shoot guns and practice your kicks and punches, equally important to break down and let yourself be, pummelled and tenderized by letting go of trauma, letting brother hood energy find those deep wounds and fractures, more energy buried we could be apply to our tree parenthood, soil parenthood, aquaculture parenthood, seed parenthood

MM:

along those lines of the multigenerations of lineage through psychedelic experience, its always bewildered me, with my psychedelic experiences with mushrooms, everytime I sense my grandfather,at first really weird thing, now a presence I’m aware of, hear and feel mutterings, only knew for short period of my life

at this point it’s very interesting, grandfather said, you’re back, maybe I’m back, it’s nice to be with you

thanks for helping to perpetuate my father,

what can I do for us

great thing

TP: it’s like working for a company, at office chair, every once in a while the owner comes in, the day the owner comes in, checking it out, what’s your name, trippy, ancestor worship is a thing

use it or lose it

I feel in this life, pretty damn abandoned by ancestors, been torn asunder to depths of hell such that ancestors have been blocked off by dark armies of hell, demons, but we’re gonna compost the shit out of them, find that the spirit guides were always there, they were just blocked, we didn’t make it easy for them to get back to us

of all the times I’ve felt I don’t know if I belong here, don’t know what I should be doing here, try to destroy ego, never lasts, very few times and place where I feel there is pure righteousness

liberate this land from all the plastic, multigenerational journey

dance with past and future, toxic gick, pure nature, spirits definitely guiding us

applauding efforts, works cut out for you, each one teach one, clean it up, scale it out

microcosm of what has to be done for the whole planet, on every planet

MM: not controlled by forces that think they’re higher

TP: decentralized, mycopathic, path of mycology

talk about martial arts, personal development, brother hood, men’s group experience that we’re working on and developing synthesis of spiritual, self defense, fitness through working the land, grace of being connected to your yin, notion of not just another wet noodle retreat center, traipsing around in loosest clothing, look at me I look like I just jumped out of a Rambo set, and yet I’m spiritual, dancing, smelling flowers, appreciating all the rainbows, but I can also do some ninja rolls, lift some heavy shit, drag some shit around, and do what’s gotta be done, ideal of a shaolin temple, double dragon fruit

playing up this idea, thinking about, if I was a kid, in the peak of my GI Joe fan boyness I would love to be shooting airsoft guns, tactical training with seed shot pellets, was nature boy, played in nature

how much fun families can be having, applying energy going into videos or going into being a boxer, mma fighter

masculine energy, protection, defense, epic garden project, for masculine energy to balance itself and exhaust itself, place for healthy catharsis, healthy relationships, families, we can both speak to

will be legacy to leave behind, a martial, permaculture, ecological, new martial culture as well, no surprise, or coincidence that we both, been blessed by profound journey’s into what other brutish me respect, not just purple breathers, also to some degree bad asses

love to hear you talk about, the spirit of the dragon fruit that animates you and your kung fu gardening techniques

MM:

made reference to that hippie thing, an elder at one of the rainbow gatherings I was sitting with , great acronym, term hippie, happy intelligent person, pursuing infinite excellence

never my thinking when it came to hippies, people that smelled bad, sat around got high and kept sitting around

just talking isn’t accomplishing,

pursuing infinite excellence, taking it to another level, punk rock perspective

you are a hippie, you smell like scum, I’m your worst enemy, a middle class street punk

and I always resonated with that, really nice to get that different perspective of what hippie could be

greater mobility in body, sought out chi gong master, chinese yoga for lack of better terms

not just stretching

entire philosophy, after about a year of training, sifu said, training is great, very yin, balance out with kung fu, more yang,

open to this, cool

always wanted, wanted to have military training for various reasons it wasn’t something that happened, along same line of hippie

kung fu, nearly synonymous, life mastery

mastering whatever life is for me, to me

level of giving back that comes from all of that

began training kung fu

4-5 days a week sometimes 2 sessions a day, my body started to really get in tune with motions, weapons training, when we think back to the shaolin, where kung fu started

these were farmers, weapons were their farm tools, really started to come through as my body got accustomed to movements, started using these implements in the farm, body now knew how to use them in a more appropriate way

ergonomics

rake or hoe, swing it out with arms, shoulders, and back, or put it out there and move hips back and forth, all power in your hips

spirals up through feet, hips, outward

utilizing that technique with farm tools

new relationship with tools and how to work with land and my body, all in same go

weeding, clearing debris, chopping things down, practicing kung fu

martial arts/life mastery

mastering far more of my body, tools, and tools that work with land

symbiosis, something that we can all benefit to apply in our lives, in any way shape or form

not everybody’s gonna go be a farmer

maybe you’re pushing a vacuum

you can cause strain or you can no cause strain to body, which then causes strain or not on the body, perpetuates through spirit

something that I’m still evolving into I feel like but its very empowering

self reliance

being able to provide for yourself, doesn’t just mean growing food, having land, also means self defense

never know where you’re gonna find yourself

bring those things into all of those life practices, another science that fills one of those holes in that permaculture raft we get pushed out into the water

brings it all back around, self feeding, self perpetuating

mentally physically and spiritually

TP:

brings us full circle

pleasant meanderings, through path of this convo, summary of most of our various contexts, working or grubbin on fruit, whatever it is, comings and goings, as we’ve been carving out this niche for ourselves

always reminds me of the movie that got me first enchanted with martial arts, van damme, blood sport

here we are, tactical permaculture moment going back to deepest roots of romance with nature and martial arts

ninjitsu master, frank dux, he was talking to parents, european parents of young frank dux, depicted to be wine farmers, vineyard, meeting of parents

train with japanese ninjitsu master

frank told me you grow vines, boys like vines need training, martial science brings mind, body, spirit together

we’re fulfilling that prophesy

we’re dudes,

point about military, I mentioned this not too long ago, in jest, valid point

hey america, if you would have given me a real war, or real cause to fight for, I would have served on the front lines, it’s been nothing but bullshit, you don’t get to have this body/mind

don’t give traumatic brain injury, lead poisoning, blow my limbs off, make me unable to sustain a relationship, cut my VA benefits for using cannabis

you don’t get any of that shit, not in this lifetime, maybe that could change, who knows what battles will need to be fought

the joke I made, we’re not we’re not less of bad asses that we didn’t get military training, we’re actually more, if we can be, without having the training of those instructors, and we can train our damn selves, read same manuals, same marksmanship, survival training, mindset of discipline, selection

break you down

I was my own drill segerant, life circumstances carved my ass from cookie dough to wood

health, wellness, survival, comes from putting skin in the game

better to have warrior in garden than gardener in war,

debilitating malformed meme of utopian pacifism

idea that we all need to be genderless, a mush of micro trauma egg shell walking, I’m a man, I embrace that, I don’t need impose, I embrace and love and support cherish diversity, space for everyone

phrase, vin armani brought to attention:

seed conversations of what I’d like to call and have been implementing

permaculture training experience for tactically minded, some of the best training, with hardcore lesbian women, guns and ammo, blades, bows and arrows plaster their walls instead of boy band posters, those are my best friends

ongoing thing that, I want to be the guy that the butch warrior lesbians like to play with on a full moon when they feel like, interesting romance, another story

have to cover my ass and say it’s not hyper masculine, toxic masculine militia

who wants to be securing the perimeter, that’s what we need first, can’t have whole tribe or family unless we can defend them

call to action, strong willed, strong minded, disciplined, people who want to be bangin sticks as they say in pekiti tirsia kali training, continual life long conditioning and training, being a warrior , really mean something for good cause

quote: michael hopf, those who remain,

hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, weak men create hard times,

put that in your pipe and smoke it

enough from me

over and out, roger

thank you again

MM: honor brother, insightful, exciting having this conversation, whoever you are out there listening, hope you were able to glean something from it

summary, I feel like, initially I’d stated how going back to permaculture, can be applied to anything that you do, require taking a permaculture design course with instructor you’d like to learn from, and personality types are thing

I have studied a lot of things in my short time here, does always come back to the principles of permaculture

when I educate others on health, they don’t know it but they’re getting a quick permaculture design course for the body

utilizing all these principles around the landscape we call our bodies

a bunch of cells living together

body, gardening cells, out there gardening soil conditions to provide foods for our cells to utilize

its one of the most valuable trainings that I’ve ever had in my life,

people that also take these course, share similar sentiment

that’s about it

end this with as mc mycopath

end a lot of health lectures with a rap, haven’t done this one in a while, see how it goes

TP: gotta get that out in the drum circle, put some beats on that, hippie drum beats on that

more to come

this conversation is to be continued, next, while we’re still tying up lose ends, give audio tour of integrated systems and logic of design of systems, address

situational report, what we’ve got going what we need help with, if people have time or resources or expertise, what’s been established what’s being established, hearing a bit about what we’re processing, actual road map of what we’re doing, laid out the backstory

of what could be an epic opportunity for ourselves

all sliding scales of wealth, we’re providing

free offerings online, all kinds of content, you’ll be whippin up a podcast, holding the camera for each other to do a lot of the teaching we want to

following up with some a/v content

be comin at cha again soon

big love to you and to all the forces seen and unseen that made it possible to be at this point

Mike Antipathy Eco Punk Logo

Forest Love and Rugged Collectivism with Eco-Punk Mike Antipathy TPP269

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In this episode I’m joined by my old dear friend Mike Antipathy for a trip down memory lane back to the eco-punk squatted forests of the pacific northwest

Contact Mike at safetypunk (at) gmail (dot) com

Check out his Eco Punk Column here: http://slugandlettuce.net/columns/eco-punk

My Non Verbatim Show Notes:

Old punk house, portland, or

vegan straight edge, deep ecology

trying to get land as a base to reclaim a bunch of everything

apathy and privilege rant

let’s get together and wreck shit

important for people of extreme left to get a dose of real back woods americana, politics of the constitution, boot strapping businesses, rugged diy attitudes

activist scene run by kids with trust funds

working in the woods cutting down trees

12 of use living in the house

kids traveling to europe, squatting we were stuck just working

bio region, forest, politically, right before WTO, big movement in portand, really exciting, coming off days of early 90s, nazis street fighting

more of a working class artist warehouse, used to ride bikes over there

spurkraft

first permaculture workshop with sasha scatter from icarus project

right as gentrification starting to crack, alberta, warehouse, the maul venue

liberation collective, all ages venues, record stores, collectives, solidarity and comradery across movements

wasn’t infected by super negative elitist eugene vibe

lot of toxicity

pre 9/11 heyday, more breathing room

anarchist collective network, stitch together different activities

the nuge survivalist workshop

backwoods skills

ted nugent documentary, metal heads joke about old rock and metal

he’s a deep character, people love to hate him, proto romance with survivalism

scheduled a workshop, the nuge workshop

school trustafarian crust punks, teach how to each things in the wild

virtues growing up working class white, grow up with guns, fire, chopping wood, machetes, watching red dawn 10,000 times

earth first heyday

Antipathy zine

13 going to record stores, super into Iron Maiden, Twisted Sister, Ozzy Osborne

Dead Kennedys

got out of abuse church, DK album cover, In God We Trust ep

Got that, had that song moral majority, nazi punks fuck off

Black Flag wasted era

Bad Brains

English stuff, Crass, Flux of Pink Indians, Rudimentary Peni

NY hardcore, politics dodgey but man the music

trying to get all the bands and all the music you can get into your head

Icky’s Tea house, 13th and Washington, venues in Eugene

Resist and Exist and Asylum gathering, apocalyptic mad max, profane existence, pull quote, a cross between braveheart and lord of the flies

portland was always weird, oregon’s mountains, everything drains into the columbia, eugene, the willamette, drains to columbia, then the pacific, punks metal heads queers, riot girls, drifted down stream to portland

big enough you could have this punk scene where you never had to associate with anyone else

hang out, you and the hippies, logger kids the smoked weed, eugene still had that, punks all hung out with the hippies, ravers, underground hip hop scene, cross cultural stuff wasn’t happening in portland

eugene had been a very very lefty, warren creek, saving last stands of old growth, feel into that hook line and sinker when I was 18

what if we had punk politics rebellion, bodies between trees and chainsaws, music festival, outreach, literature, speakers, connect kids to something bigger

Chaos Days 95

horror stories of the carnage

flyers for chaos days, 19 we rolled in thick, sf, turned out to be a bust

food not bombs

coming back man what if we did chaos days

get arrested for smart shit, icky’s sunshine the patron saint of all things counter culture, big shout out

just put in on man, I’ll make space for you, put out flyers, ads in maximum rock in roll, profane existence, slug and lettuce, booking

all the sudden 3000 punks from all over the world flooding eugene, raising hell, robbing liquor stores

city council meeting to lift camping ban, running for mayor

resist and exist, the punk scene in the 90s, trauma kids, mental illness

guy got throat slit, someone run over by train, skinhead problem

mutual aid network to defend selves from skin heads

sf scum fucks

horrible gang rape, intense shit

shows shut down

bands show up out of own pockets

road bike around eugene, underneath bridge, dystopia played, fanatics, all kicked off

skin heads showed up, starting shit, gutter punks, scum fucks, got super violent

watching all these gutter punks smashing heads with smilies, pivotal movement

for most of the people who survived times, extreme environments, a lot of us were idealist about a utopian pacifist anarchist, had to be tactical for the shows to happen, how much more anarchy could you get or could you want, we got what we prayed for, we got what we asked for, we just didn’t know at the time that we had it

asylum, chaos punx, train hoppers, amoral gangs, rape and pillage, mauraders, vandals, parasitized, they could have made a movie, decline of western civilization, hollywood drunx period, hdp

punk scene in la now is so good, love it so much

stiff little fingers show all old white people

where are the punks, where are the kids, everyone’s on their phone, filming, no ones dancing

the legend, troll, leader of the drunk punx

strung out, sweet kids

asylum, earth first going through growing pains

punk rock more radical, queer, take earth first to something more radical, bigger better world view than a bunch of straight dudes drinking coors

there’s this old growth, one stand, massive beautiful powerful trees, climbing 12 foot thick doug firs, we should do something about this

music festival in general area

some old log deck clearing, bands playing, workshops, invite all these different things a big presence will be this environmental movement,

sacred land don’t bring alcohol

earth first, going through wanting to have focused gatherings on sacred land, alcohol is really toxic and poison for a lot of native people

found amazing log deck up

not too far from hot springs

bands played all this water, everything was set up, kids from hollywood showed up

scum fuck kids from seattle showed up, turned into a warzone

van of alcohol rolls up, all the pc kids face the trauma kids

one night of bands, political kids fend off gnarly drunk punk trauma kids

giant orgy guy, with pick axe, taxing people for whatever they had, barbarian style

became orgy of violence and debaucherous robbery, primitive weapons

regroup in the city

h2h, the system created them, the system has to deal with them

never wanting to involve authorities in our bubble of anarcho punk utopia, felt we should have might, means, reasoning, collectivized consensus judicial systems to get through anything

at a certain point, it’s over our heads

notion that we should feel bad that we can’t handle the situation, we didn’t create it, the system did

we had that moment

pulled it together, relocate to new location

security meetings, perimeters

good times, hot springs, jumping off train bridge, made out in spin the bottle

bought manowar kinds of metal lp

really important that the music happened

remember driving away from the log deck, bitchin reservoir, Neil brought the food not bombs, legend, big shout out, still living the life,

he’d invite you over to his house to stay, vegan

driving away

whole arizona punk scene, really friendly, really tough

most of those hollywood kids are dead

good training for us wasn’t it

that was fucking raw man

sometimes you think you know what you’re life story is hinged on, the pivot points, now I’m realizing

eugene wasn’t a cult of john zerzan, it was a cult of group think

in the forest my heart chakra began to develop

fabric of punks, earth firsters, fall creek

almost half my life in l.a. I’m only in la because of the follow up

gotta recruit the foot soldiers of the punk movement, either apathetic or hyper political and don’t know what to do except book shows, make donations

the idea of living in off grind, anarchist community of earth first based, that whole tribal community, an experience not a lot of the radical punks got to have, I was blessed to eventually get there

when I first went to fall creek, camped there on and off for months

had that feeling I’ve got to mobilize the punk movement

went on us tour, ended up landing me in la for about 20 years, did bring some people out there

that was the spirit, how do we get these places protected, sorting through some of the really toxic riff raff and get some real eco warriors out there

give ourselves a toast, home break apple cherry cider

raising glass, bringing punks to the front line of fall creek

Mike Antipathy, eco punk column, antipathy zine

fall creek was one of the most dysfunctional fucked up environmental movements of its time, almost entirely staffed by trauma kids, a bunch died, from the trauma the ghosts, the demons they couldn’t escape, you don’t get into this shit unless something has gone really really sideways in your development

its a really good thing that we’re able to transform whatever bad shit happened to us into a desire to make the world a better place, not all of us get out of it

barely made it out of that, big glasses raised to all those people who didn’t make it, they were important

tribute to fall creek, and all the other people we’ve lost

fanzine, like to rant about stuff

look back, fuck

crazy, can’t believe it came out of my mouth, last one came out after 2000

super helpful

slug and lettuce, free newspaper all across the world, seen in south east asia, street punk market, stacks of slug and lettuce, out of the goodness of her heart

asked to write a column

reunification of rural roots, having been raised on a farm

if you think you can do forestry better, get up and do it

followed old generation earth firsters, we’re doing it better

fell into working on logging sites, tree climber, got into that, through that getting bigger and bigger in terms of work I was doing

talk about howling wolves, salmon run coming up the stream

print magazines for the subcultural left, and punk movement

internet, just too much, doesn’t matter

if you were gonna write a zine you had to put art, creativity, research, cut and paste, go places, to produce a zine the effort that would have to be made, was a heart work, don’t want to take that away from people who have blogs on the internet, but something to be said

generation gap between my youth and the new generation

back in my day joke, it was like this, walk 10 miles in the snow to get to school, american men, masculinity, their disgust and disdain at the softness of the next generation and how easy it is, and how they take things for granted and how privileged they are, it’s weird to now get that wisdom

thoughts on current punk scene, millenial, how have the millenials, picked up the culture of punk, amdist all the social media, big data, rigged and engineered algorithms, shadow ban you

where are we at with punk

super into, super into the way the young people are right now

really intense shit happening in the 80s and 90s not really as intense anymore

portland, nazis at shows mid to late 90s, now there’s not

didn’t see faces get stomped on curb, didn’t see heroin

go to a lot of shows, kids are so nice, so conscientious to each other

have more money these days, europe go to big punk fests, things are looking up, punks are leading the way, not doing the vapid shit of the sexy selfies so much

still around the scene, nothing moves me as much as my time, tour in mexico 2003, where I most dedicated most pure hearted, fabric of intergenerational punks, what I had always dreamed up

so cal pride

so much hate on millenials, being spoiled rotten, good to know

hopefully there will be more mentors

brings us through most of the chapters where we had been running in the same circles

get into some politics and some survivalist prepper stuff, debriefing on current events

take radical experiences and politics, cover tattoos and do ballsy work within the system

from that spirit of rugged collectivism, permaculture

zombie apocalypse fantasies where your mind at

wild, go into stores, shelved emptied of dumbest shit

not real scarcity

all the shit is still there, but people are freaked

two weeks a month of groceries so we’re not exposing ourself or contributing to more people dying

this is not the apocalypse I’d imagined I thought it was gonna have a lot more smoke, cop cars, sirens

y2k sitting in our mountain compound, waiting for the glow of burning cities in rural oregon, we were fuckin ready, bunch of dried beans

shit turned out to be a fuckin bust

unsung heros, not a geek or hacker, have to study info security, trying to catch up on what I had not been clued into, steve gibson, security now podcast, people laugh about how y2k was a non event, but only because the engineers busted their ass to make it not be

trippy point, I hear all these whistle blowers talk about how they’ve bungled the pandemic response, which governments have fucked everything up

if you do the proper preventative measures and you’re successful at preventing the catastrophe from happening, people will want to cut your budgets and say you’re wrong because it never happened, the thing you were predicting that you’re urging people to prepare for, if you’re effective at preparing for it and preventing it, then it’s not a thing, and people have cognitive dissonance, so then they get soft

south korea and singapore, more experience with SARS, culture of wearing masks

don’t get trampled on the way to the fema truck

live in a mexican neighborhood, exactly the same, stores are stocked, most people work in fields, not a lot of disposable income to buy all the toilet paper from costco

keeping local

not the apocalypse I wanted, where we got to be warlords

tin foil hat segment

some people scary, depending on where you are on the political spectrum, unraveling of world economy, opportunism, could go on some extreme tin foil hat

tin foil hat adventure

I don’t have much tin foil anymore

just being vegetarian, shopping in bulk, already had the bags of rice, nothing is out of wack, ammo from dead dad

have a 10 year old now, trying to teach him to be a better non toxic man

could be carriers of a virus that’s pretty gnarly

court systems all shut down

completely suspend habeas corpus, no right to speedy trial, indefinitely post poned

poor, mentally ill, mostly brown and black, get rid of the constitution indefinitely, let people linger for low level offenses

system’s even worse than we ever thought it was

not opposed to abolishing prisons, what are thoughts on trying to lesson density of over crowded prison, letting them out early into what, what’s their severance package, where they gonna go

prop 47, all the sudden supposed to let all the drug possession felonies, made it all misdemeanors, lack of treatment

gabor mate, science, trauma, addiction

prosecutors and cops running on 1950s notions, anyone who touches drugs is evil

most people in justice system don’t have experience with drugs and trauma, they should let more prisoners out

prisons make us less safe, prison increasingly traumatized, I don’t know

this whole system was made by slave owners

positive note, decriminalize nature movement, spreading across the nation, decriminalized plant and fungi entheogens

some jurisidictions, diversion programs incorporate trauma healing with entheogens

don’t feel hopeful about it, california is fascist as fuck, last place that does anything healthy with that as a state

state banned gay marriage on purpose in 2008, california is so completely backwards

I don’t think it’s gonna happen

despite people kicking heroin with iboga

not gonna have access to that healing modality, federally still illegal

things are getting worse legally than they ever have been, with exception of immigration

the state is going to take excess in as many directions as they can, then have to be austere in enforcement in other things

numbers of police departments, knocked out because of sick or quarantine

foreshadowing for emergent properties of anarchy that were never imagined

even losing of parking restrictions

dimensions of freedom that are unenforceable

we’re blessed to have the internet as long as it lasts

getting more into traditional survivalist communications, ham radio, late bloomer on, trying to go through thought experiments, what will you never forgive yourself if you don’t have this prep dialed in, you take for granted, you’re be said you didn’t prioritize what that was, everyone has a different checklist

I’m feeling pressure on as general question that can apply to anybody

no easy to cover ass, cover assets, do proper estate planning, what if you can’t do updated last will because you can’t assemble the witness you need to sign the document, government is doing all kinds of digitization of procedures

officially time stamp my intention

whatever is left after paying minimal debt, executor of will, power of attorney they would take some percentage to pay themselves for the time to sort out what intellectual property I have and what potential revenue streams may be funneling into my estate, decided I want whatever is net gain of my estate, to actually be distributed among non profits, I have no heirs, that are individuals, would rather structure something where I can say, here’s a list of non profits, I would want it distributed equally among the, 3 I have in mind are the Red Brigade in lucknow india,sexual abuse and rape survivors banded together to make most bad ass indian version of a riot girl collective, teaching each other self defense and martial arts, self policing neighborhoods, most bad ass warrior kung fu clan, martial arts masters from all over the world have gone to volunteer to train them, and give them seminars, they’ve set up non profit donations, part should go to them, part to the Women’s Visionary Congress, and the Decriminalize nature movement, all these represent what has kept me alive, and allowed me to transcend my traumas, I don’t know if what I said would hold up in any legal proceeding, at least this will exist til the paper work can happen

now everyone has a reason to do the unthinkable, do the estate planning

spoke to mother, here’s my plan, let me know your plan, this is a bridge we have to think about crossing

5 wishes, template to know how you have to frame things like how you want to be buried, what ritual you want around that, so people can’t abuse you after you’re gone, protect your soul:

I want to put this out, time stamping this conversation:

I would like to be cremated, and buried while planting a fruit or nut tree so that I sign can be posted saying here lies ben lawson feel free to piss on his grave and nitrify this fruit tree and if you ever cut it down or let it die, I’m gonna come back and haunt your ass

if you can donate organs donate organs

freeze my brain so my bitcoin holding will be worth gazillions more by the time they thaw me out

been trying to catch up on many years lost on anarcho primitivism versus cryptoanarchism

hacker punks, manifestos of crypto anarchy in early 90s, legacy of hacker collectives, the talk of the wall street billionaires, government officials abandoning their posts to join the movement

this is the thing you could commiserate on, I never believed anything anarchist came up with would be competitive with incumbent systems

they actually built something that was competitive, was able to out compete

line malcolm x once said, make the old system obsolete, they era that we were in , the analogy of how astonishing it is they were able to make millionaires and billionaires out of this hacker implementation of cryptography, it’s like saying food not bombs was so loved and so competitive with mcdonalds, kfc, everyone started showing up and paying everyone at food not bombs, fnb became the cherished favorite food of all americans, you never would have thought that something out of the anarchist caldron of creativity, would actually do that, without brute force, without violence, with an elegant ninja tactic, actually out manuver the system, and give it a run for its money, literally, and that’s what’s happened, something I’ve tried to catch up on, not for everybody to learn all the nuts and bolts, gotta raise the glass to all the geeks and hackers that I’ve always fuckin respected, the ones that told me that I shoulda fuckin paid attention to this and I was too busy huggin trees, I coulda bought those timber sales

thing with environmental movement is that a lot of the stuff we got out of that wasn’t actually what we went in there for, it was all those other lessons, we saved precious few forests but we learned a lot more, that you would never have learned if you were sittin in a dark apartment writing code and buying bitcoin

something to be said about wild forests, skinny dippin in natural waters, and smellin your own body odor and smellin your own shit everyday, those are formative things, that make us better

couldn’t have said it better, love you brother

no small contribution you’ve made to my life

stay wild

always remember, every day when I wake up I remember that quote, whatever keeps the barrel out of your mouth, that’s the proper way to live