Tag Archives: boundaries

Ben and Joan Rivers building a chicken coup

Coronavirus, Joan Rivers, and The Princess Bride TPP235

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In this episode I tell an epic survival romance story to commemorate victims of the coronavirus and urge folks to do their best to prepare for this and all threats to their survival…

Please listen to this episode for practical preparedness tips:
Basic Preparedness and the Prepping Pyramid TPP246

My (non-verbatim) Show Notes: 

2012 respected consultant on emergency and disaster preparedness and permaculture design

my partner and I landed a well paid gig for permaculture /preparedness survival make over for Joan Rivers’ Joan Know’s Best reality tv show, rest in piece, rest her soul, amazing important wise elder matriarch of the entertainment industry

honor and blessing to work very closely with her, for that day of shooting, brought out big stake truck, moved our chicken tractor, and mini pond, and mini herb spiral, faux backyard permaculture set up

there had been an earthquake in la, mild but enough to feel it, a few things fall of the wall, they might have captured footage of it during the reality tv show filming, the producers after that real earthquake said, we should actually do a subplot within an episode on disaster preparedness, what it would look like for Joan, daughter and grand son to do an emergency prep process

they had a scene showing they needed batteries for flash lights, doing intuitive inventory of what you need to survival, if there was a disruption of systems of support, critical services cut off, would you be able to render your own first aid, provide food water shelter clothing, they got footage of the family going through the motions seeing how unprepared they were

they went to an amazing local survival equipment wholesaler/retailer, it was like disney land for preppers, they were a company they supplied first aid kits, fire extinguishers, water storage tanks, tools, camping gear, I could go on, their catalog was like porn for me, you go in there and wish you could buy everything, just want to live there, if you were an employee and shit hit the fan you’d be stoked, they should have had guns though, maybe someone should establish a gun store right next door to defend it in a shift hit the fan

so I was living out this romance novel story out on this land, peak of a man’s love life, beautiful romance, crashed and burned in a very archetypal and mythical the arch of the whole relationships, set foot on her property to establish permaculture systems which she had wanted for years, just didn’t have the right person to help, there was an opportunity she put out to the spiritual community that she had this land and wanted to make it productive, I hit her up and said this is what I’ve been trained to do and I’d be happy just to have a place to pitch a tent

it was the end of 2011, lots of 2012 energy, wow if I could be bugged out on some land in the mountains where you’re tucked away in the wood lands, less zombie pressure, higher income bracket, going from where I was at the time, when I met her I had been doing an urban survival permaculture training center garden, I built on top of an parking lot at a big punk warehouse artist colony venue

I developed the rugged outdoor survival life style, in the middle of south central la, surrounded by gangs

I wasn’t trying to scam on her, wasn’t hitting on, it just kinda happened, I was attracted, I respected her, she was almost 20 years older, loved the heck out of her, we did beautiful things together

I was grateful to get the fuck out of the urban center, it was sweet spot, in the mountains, but sill close enough to the city to do gigs and stay in my band

but I wanted to live on the land focus on the land, first building my little camp, sproutables as stable food, I still have embarrassing footage of documenting the projects as they went along

as I got my camp established I started to make a masterpiece out of the land, did the permaculture design, set up composts, garden beds, earth works

this was my dream, that I had been cooped up literally in urban projects, now I got to have this giant canvas

I was filled with love and light, and at the peak of virility

I can’t help getting into the romance, we had this banter, it was quite charming

very much the as you wish, sweet wesley, princess butter cup, princess bride kinda thing she’s like a millionairess, owning her property, in a house that she built with her ex-husband, and with their ill-fated marriage and divorce left her with the house all to herself

a shamanic priestess in her own right, I was drawn for the ceremonial opportunities happening there

at one point she had been developing feelings for me, I begun my tantric path and was resolute in being open and non monogamous, doing long trial periods and setting up agreements where we put leases on each other’s bodies, not just permanent access, it’s gonna be metered out and we’re gonna hold true to contracts

that’s not the most romantic part of the story, sorry that’s my virgo, living and learning hard lessons of getting trapped in toxic relationship situations

she was thrilled to see her property come to life, thrilled clip fresh greens, harvest chicken eggs, she was a crack chef, holistic lavish parties

she was healing, in a cycle of healing with some issues that forced her to stop working, she was really actually, for me to come in there at a time where she had so much liquid capital for so many decades of her professional career, and I get there, having come out of the south central punk ghetto, having really figured out survival, minimalism, living outside, I had just come out of that sort of self imposed ranger school if you will, in some ways very extreme and comparable to that, in some ways I’m doing a disservice to ranger school graduates by saying that

I had seen of the colony reality show seasons, sophisticated social experiments, group of volunteers, strangers, with skill sets, put into social experiment of urban survival post disaster, constructed scenario, global pandemic outbreak, they were put into a survival theme park, they peppered in all these different tools and supplies and equipment, had to ration food, solar power, water purification, latrine, living quarters, defend perimeter, it was like a survival obstacle course staged by the producers, of course they hyped the sexual drama and politics, lots of stage, but overall done very well, really brought out patriarchal douche bag in one of the characters, they probably played it up but this guy played a real jerk, if they had a yogi there and they got that guy chilled the fuck out they would have been happier

I was fresh off the urban survival experience and watching the colony season, I wanted to put myself through that, the experience of deprivation, like a full time drill, I was on extremely tight budget, I was very very very poor financially, that was part of the drill, it made it all work

she was brought down to my level even though she owned property, the cost of heating that place, the water bill, commuting, family expenses, it was stress inducing, so for me to be able to come in there with very sophisticated simple and elegant techniques for living frugality, eating sprouts every night, and what I called ben feed, own trail mix, not paleo and bad for teeth and gut though, thought it was great that was no added sugar, but too much carb and dried fruit sugar, so not the best wisdom at that stage, but able to subsist

sprouting grains and legumes make them healthier, less toxic, less carbs

so between fresh chicken eggs every morning, fresh greens and herbs eventually fruits and some berries

I pretty much brought sustenance to her from my humble 5 gallon buckets and mylar bags, I was nourishing her and providing for her and at that everyday it was like farm boy fetch me a bowl of sprouts, as you wish

it led to a moment where she was commiserating with a couple of fellow elder priestesses about her empty love life, and I walk by them, when they saw me and they heard her talking about her woes, they said that’s your man, he’s right here on your doorstep

when we sat together and talked love the first time, I said, something to the effect that I’m like a reference book at the library, you have to share me

another thing she said was that she did test me though, there was an epic project that had to be and I knocked it out for her, and that was part of it too

also she said she fell in love with me when she saw me leading a group of other men repairing her teepee,

she seemed to have been sniffing out the alpha pheromone, though I’m not overtly alpha in terms of being agro or competitive

I felt it for her and she felt it for me, and it was negotiated to be openish, we had a sacred contract ultimately for a period of months of monogamy

we were successful, she was the sales and marketing and spokes model and I was the inventor, builder, introverted, designer, not people person

she was extraverted, our videos still exist where you can see how charming she is

it was the peak of our romance and success together, me building my wares and her selling them, legally registered by new cottage food law

cottage food paradigm shift

we were one of the first, we were rockin, had permaculture workshops, I was in the process of starting an officially recognized permaculture design course with a novel at-your-own-pace format for low income people

we had meet ups, workshops, other instructors coming in, weddings, we sold 150 amaranth seedlings to a wedding production as wedding gifts to all the attendees, can’t imagine how prolific those plants have been, amaranth is my spirit plant

glorious achievements, romance novel come to life

we started going to classes at that survival equipment store, I got my first aid training there, we went there together

we also did the cert training at the local fire station together

we were getting into tactical permaculture, vision of creating seed pellets to be used in airsoft guns so that you would know by what was planted where the kill zones were, better avoid where all the wild flowers were clustered

we had a legitimate, top tier tactical training marksman involved with the project, we started to draft out the ultimately survival permaculture tactical theme park design, motes, edible perimeter defense like sugar cane, blackberries, imagine stick fighting training with sugar cane, or chewing on your night stick while being a warrior defending your goddess temple community, sugar cane staff, for a bit of extra blood sugar if you need to run or fight, imagination runing wild, but it was starting to happen, archery, martial arts training gear, kicking post in the office, talk about warrior goddess temple, permaculture goddess temple, the whole 9 yards, a lot of people have beautiful memories of the time as well, it was epic

so we had started to work with the survival store, and one of our sex magic rituals yielded the mascot of the brand I had established years ago

she had to reel me in and tone done my zombie apocalypse rhetoric, she advised some re-edits on my basic preparedness manual to take out the zombie talk, smoothed out the edges so she could see to other high class soccer moms

I rebranded a more family friendly business card, and the survival store had the business card on their bulletin board, her handy work of getting the business card out to people

so the Joan River’s production crew searched for survival training, found the store, went there and asked if they do home consulting/installation, I believe they said no, but oh here’s this business card from those nice friendly homesteader folks that shop here and trainer here, so they gave the production staff the business card

we got a call, I didn’t even know who Joan River’s was, I think she got the call, and she seemed keyed up, of course Joan has a big place in my heart since space balls, but I didn’t know her name

she was like hey they want to pay us to do this thing on the show, there were some things they were pushing on that I thought would be poor representation, I was worried that we’d be made fun of, make a joke of, and my colleagues would tear me apart of I miss represented the art and science to the masses, preppers and permies can be pretty vicious in terms of political correctness, and one-upmanship, ego bullshit,

but I decided to go along with it, nothing was a huge violation of the principles and science, one thing I really didn’t like but let it slide

I don’t think I’ll burn in hell for selling out

the shoot went well, the chemistry was great, we lucked out, because it was 50/50 if we were gonna be the laughing stock, if you’re Joan Rivers’ laughing stock and she’s gonna bully you mercilessly with her lines, you’d have to have thick skin, I expected since were the crazy wingnut survival freaks, doing this backyard makeover

ultimately it worked out well, in our favor, because the whole series was that Joan had moved in with her daughter to drive her crazy and try to control her life with her humor and divaness, that was the premise of the whole show

it worked in our favor because Joan was authentically on board with us, she got it, she asked about our backgrounds, I said I’ve been a survivalist since I was on the street as a young teenager, saw dark things and had to learn to survive

and my partner grew up more holistic, ranch, rustic, agricultural life, farmer relatives, americana

we clicked so Joan even said you look good together, the most golden compliment you can ever get, what can’t you do if you can impress Joan river’s visually that was a huge compliment all thought one of her staff thought I was my partner’s son, lots of funny moments

they have a whole day of footage and only use a few minutes

so joan hires us to do the consultation and backyard make over and she’s thrilled and gung ho to have us appear to be tearing up the lawn, we’re going to be growing vines all over the place, build a chicken run, turn the pool into a living edible natural pond and fish farm, and so the great thing was that joan was totally on board with everything and stoked and gung ho, and the antagonism was with her daughter

the lines that joan said I couldn’t have paid her a trillion dollars to say, about when the shit hits the fan the neighbors are gonna be lined up down the block to get my eggs, we’re gonna be sustainable, and she was sincere, she was old enough to have a clue about self sufficiency and hard times

it was a beautiful experience, here we are now years later, 8 years later, no longer in that relationship, no longer on the property, I can only hope since we parted was in a pretty ugly meltdown, I love to hope we’d be able to not rekindle but reminisce on what was mostly good

it was pretty acute collapse at the very end after wild success in love and business and the sky being the limit, if what we did for joan rivers was good enough for her even as a joke that’s a pretty good endorsement, we did we teach for the local government emergency committees

got a business loan, we had a mascot, a brand, we were selling buckets of survival food, sprouting kits, trainings, its damn shame, it all comes down to monogapathic behavior, she could follow the letters of our agreement which gave me freedom to be a healer

I told her I was gonna be a yoni worshiper and healer and that’s my path and training before we met, and you’re gonna have to come to terms with that, it doesn’t mean that I’m even that I’m having sex with anyone I may be touching people they may be touching me, that’s where I really fine tuned my deal with women, looking at what are the actually permanent irreversible risks to having an open relationship, incurable stis, sexually transmitted infections, that’s the only permanent way of affecting negatively a primary partner that you have, you’ll heal a broken heart, you’ll get over feeling upstaged and deprioritized, if there’s longevity and strength and security in the relationship, everything else that’s emotional you’ll heal from even it seems so traumatic, what you can’t escape from is incurable stis, to me I say, my deal is like look what we have to design around is that one thing and we can have our hearts open as wide as we want, and our legs spread and our pants off, to the world of everyone else, as long as we understand and acknowledge that how much faith do we really place in just using condoms, do we have boundaries around outercourse, or dry sex, or non fluid bonded sex, there’s ways to intelligently avoid the risk of stis, I know this breaks some hearts, and there were times when I was not willing to reciprocate this in my younger life, but by then I had realized the beauty and the nourishment of a diverse sexual, romantic, and sensual cornucopia of lovers, and patients and clients for healing, and friends, and the idea that would sacrifice all of that to keep one person from losing their mind, it was a horrific melt down of her feeling like she was losing me and losing control of me, I take full responsibility for what I did that was inappropriate, immature, not of high moral character in the process of how this went down,

we would still be friends, we would still together I would still be on that land, still be taking care of the trees I planted, all the life I brought to that land, I would still be stewarding that and would still be in her words the man of the land and we’d still be living happily ever after

I was showing her through my permitted actions what I needed to be happy, fulfilled, and doing my dharma

it came down to one moment that really shifted for me when I started to really branch out, it wasn’t because I was bored with her or sick of her

there was a video that was shot, my experience of modeling for a camera to do tantric session work with a total stranger to me in that day, when I saw myself in that footage, I’m not vane at all I have the least vanity about my appears, I feel unphotogenic, and as JS said, I have a face made for radio,

its not just oh im shy about it, I really break the lens from a lot of angles and I know that, I design my content with that in mind, its not like oh I need to be a star now but when I saw the video, tantra for couples using the five sense

I saw the energy, the level of focus, such a fan of Jean Claude Van Damme, loved his controlled, metered, measured, self contained manner, from spiritual practice and martial arts practice, the refined shiva healing energy you could see it in the grace of my movements

I may not be a 10 on the surface, with big muscles, perfect teeth, perfect smile, photogenic, a-list actor material, that didn’t matter, I could consider myself a 6 on the surface and what was beneath the surface was resonating and emanating so beautifully to my soul, I can really do this work and have it be really compelling, this really does confirm that this is my calling and my path, and remain open

I’ve never cheated, I’ve prenegotiated or precommunicated my intentions, ended one relationship before having sex with a new person, I’ve cheated emotionally if you want to use that dirty word that id on’t like at all, I’ve indulged myself in pleasures with other people emotionally that I didn’t communicate or invite my current primary partner to be a part of and for them to wonder about that was painful for them, still not technically a cheater, I have not hooked up with someone and had sexual intercourse with them without previously ended the relationship before them, I have that gold star on my shoulder for not being a cheater,

but she was not gonna go by the original agreements that we had even though I was not willing to renew the sacred contract, she could have had her take and ate it too, it was just really sad, if she would have been able to share tiny slices of the cake with the understanding that I would not be jeopardizing her health, and that I could have the discipline either not to do anything that could involve transmission of stis, or have barriers, or have testing done, there’s just so many ways that you can navigate that one ultimate deal breaker and there was just no negotiation whatsoever, so it melted down in a very rapid and ugly manner, maybe some day she’ll be on the podcast to ball break me back on that

it was a power couple par excellence, we were doing business together, living together happily, it was really tragic and sad that that happened, I guess this was the time for that story to come out, its relevant to current events because that was the peak of me teaching survival and preparedness, obviously I haven’t stopped living that way since I left, I’ve always maintained ample food, water supplies, first aid, kept healthy and fit, glued to the news, evacuation routes, positioned advantageous in terms of zombies, my career path collapsed losing that space, I still sold some supplies and kits, it really stopped when I had the sexual shamanic spiritual emergency, all that is to say it’s been 8 years since I was at that peak and I have done my solo survival, haven’t been imposing it on people either, roomates, that don’t give a fuck thinks you’re paranoid, every prepper knows what that feels like, family, co-workers, getting people on board its painful for everybody, and it takes those moments of oh there was an earthquake oh shit who do we call, now its time to take him seriously

it’s like you’re crazy paranoid prepper until one moment when the lights go out or there’s a tremor then I’m the savor, whatever, honestly we are like ambulance chasers, its like oh now you’re ready okay what do you have to put on the table, how much money will you put towards buffering this for next time, because it could be the next one big time

so anyone paying attention to the coronavirus outbreak, it will have an official name soon, exposing corruption in government response, digital quarantines, limited by gps, apocalypse 2.0 its crazy, studying this, trying to be ahead of it, maybe I’ll be one of the first to go, you never know, you could be the strongest person, with muscle, and twist an ankle and die in 3 minutes without air, 3 hours without shelter, 3 days without water, 3 weeks without food, 3 months without love

those are your enemies and that is the battlefield, those time frames of conditions that can kill you so I could go at any time, all of my preps could be nullified by anything

but I have done my homework and due diligence, to have a clue and be woke about this stuff

now is the time for people who are having that acute moment of waking up to the vulnerability and all of our taken for granted, normalcy bias, it can’t happen to me

still cognitive dissonance around this virus, I don’t have the medical knowledge to have a strong opinion or a lot of facts to back up any claims about how scared anyone should be where ever they are, I know the places in the world where this is being taken very seriously, that is the sci apcalyptic experience, where everything that preppers do to be ready to either quarantine themselves, or escape the quarantine but do it ethically and go somewhere where you will be ethically quarantining yourself, but to be rounded up in camps is the preppers last, that is the ultimate thing to avoid, you’re subject to rape, search and seizure, being exposed to the virus, exposed to risk of incarceration if you resist or don’t comply, state’s measures are very corrupt

chinese doctor tried to alarm officials of the virus, is now dead of the virus, and was forced by police to sign some fake confession that he was fraudulently alarming the public

there’s been all kinds of fuckery in every country around these kinds of things

I’m not telling anyone to panic, it’s just for me, the modifications that I will make to my lifestyle are pretty minimal because I try to stay away from crowds anyway, I try to do more fist bumps than hand shakes, and when I hear some body snivel or cough I got into a controlled, germaphobic, hypochondriac high alert mode, of don’t touch your face, you can scratch your eye with your knuckle, your knuckle doesn’t touch door knobs, and when you cough and sneeze you can do it in your elbow

I’m not giving medical advice, for myself I look at this and go okay this is cycle of opportunity for me to preach and teach about basic preparedness, I guess what I will do to not be too heavy handed, I’ll put a link in the show notes to the podcast episode I did where I read that basic preparedness manual that has pretty much all of the fundamental procedural building blocks of how you can be better prepared for anything, when the shit hit’s your fan , not the fan

job loss, injury, cut off from income, its not just end of the world event that’s going to force you to institute your procedure and protocols for preparedness It could be something simple

it’s not gonna become the zombie apocalypse show, but it’s the right time to tell that story, so many mythical moments, I loved that woman, I loved that land, for a farm boy like me, that’s as good as it gets, it’s a damn shame the way it went down, but if I’m 80 years old in rocking chair and people ask me what some of the peaks of my life were, I’ll be like well, I’ll tell you story next time there’s a little tiny earthquake that makes you want to prepare for the next one, or next time there’s an outbreak I ‘ve got a story for you, this will be the story I tell

survival and preparedness getting back to the land it can be romantic it can be beautiful it can only get more polyamorous, it can only get less monogapathic, but for all intents and purposes if it was good enough for joan rivers, hopefully what I’m saying is good enough for you, to want to say yeah, what am I gonna wipe my ass with if there’s not a sycamore tree near by and I’m out of toilet paper, how am I going to look at ways to improve and enhance the number of gallons of water that I’m storing on site because a gallon per person for day is a low estimate of what you’d want to have if you were cut off from the main, or the main supply is contaminated, I think it’s worth it to take this moment to really figure out what strategies you may need to have in place

if martial law at any scale or you could just by happenstance, they’re quarantining people now all over the world, different directness of exposure to this virus, for all I know, for all you know, we could find out tomorrow that you were in a place where somebody had a confirmed case, then you’d get a knock on your door, and get taken away, don’t quote me, I’m not making official public service announcements, I take this very seriously, I ain’t going out like that if I can help

like everything else, it too shall pass, but even if it doesn’t graze your life and doesn’t put a dent in your routine, it’s a moment to commemorate

how often do you put yourself through the meditation of lights out, food supply cut off, income cut off, possibly being injured, possibly being infected, being affected by a war zone, unexpected disruptions in all that you take for granted on a daily basis

if you meditate on the vedic pantheon, you should also meditate on shitting hitting the fan, and shit hitting your fan

there was a guy who was the closest thing to a purple breathing hippie yoga master tantric on the survival podcast

there’s an anti-woo-woo bias, as you can imagine by the more conservative, libertarian, and to some extent more christian ranks of the survival movement, yet there is this interesting interplay of the bush hippie and jar head, the bromance, I’m in that dance

but there was this hardcore survivalist prepper yogi on the survival podcast, I’ll be reaching out to that guy

this coronavirus is a catalyst to do your drills, check your inventory, audit your physical preps and your plans, your protocols and procedures, and just be ready for things to get possibly worse, because of this virus or any other viruses, this is just another not so friendly reminder, goddess bless all the souls who’ve already passed from this virus, and let’s do our best not to join them in the big fema camp in the sky

namaste

Xbiz Consent Panel banner

Shamanic Pornography and the Ethics of Consent TPP230

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In this episode I’m sharing the 2019 Xbiz Show Consent Round Table session where I respectfully introduced a question for the panel on the ethics of consent for psychedelic shamanic pornography. Not knowing how I’d be received it took a bit of bravery to speak up but I was met with gracious insight and advisement from industry veterans. They were on point with their concerns and dissuasive remarks, all of which I take to heart and value like gold. I feel that whether you’re a sex work, porn performer or producer, or so called “civilian” with no involvement in the sex industry, this panel is very enlightening, and I thank them all very much for briefly holding space for my niche question.

Holistic Sexual Health


CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THIS VIDEO FOR FREE!

Here are some of Alexandria’s recommended links:

https://www.justthefacts.co.nz/index.php/do-i-have-stis-sexually-transmitted-infections/sexually-transmitted-infections-sti-myths-and-facts/

https://www.condomdepot.com/sampler-packs/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xJgEetiGh4

 

Sexual Exploitation in Tantra with Devashi Shakti TPP39

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Devashi picThis episode is not a typical interview format. It’s a collaborative discourse on the topic of the sexual exploitation of women in tantra, followed by an extensive exposition detailing my personal ethics, boundaries, procedures, and protocols. Devashi graciously holds a lot of sacred space for me and generously offers insightful critiques that I feel are exquisite gifts to men who are striving to do right as dakas.

Devashi bio:
Dévashi Shakti is an international leader in feminine psycho-sexual development and practical Sacred Feminine wisdom. She has 18yrs experience as a practitioner, confidante and teacher. In her private practise, Dévashi has assisted thousands of women & men to experience awakening of their internal energy, in connection with their heart and spirit. She’s passionate about providing sanctuary spaces for women to learn about their sensuality and sexuality in safe environments, without the ambiguous dynamics often found in the tantric world. Tigress Yoga is the first in the world to offer a tantric based yoga practise designed specifically for woman’s body. Currently Dévashi is doing a PhD in Somatic Psychology, documenting the effectiveness of Tigress Yoga.

Please visit her website and watch the videos linked below for more info and discussion of this topic.

Tigress Yoga
http://www.tigressyoga.com/

Sexual Exploitation of Women in Tantra
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ne7RkpqesNg

What Evolved Women Are Missing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYYphCd8WuE

AI Generated Transcription:
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear beloved welcome to Township on podcast I’m here with Shiva rajaya who has recently become one of my top personal heroes in the tundra world because I’ve been following his work and I’m just feeling like we’re all blessed to have him in the world and see what would you be so kind as to give us a bit of a background your journey into Tantra and and how you’re expressing your gift to the world now it says that everything you know if every sexualized is quite a different definition in the way I approach it for me country is a complete path of Life Mastery I go up to the Himalayas to high mountains there to the very source of the Ganges send the route of Tantra yoga and so I give a tantra are really kind of infinite sphere potential and include a whole lot of things that would not appear as tantric to the average person so what we are going to focus on in this discussion which has to do with relationships and sex problem is a small fraction of what I what I focus on in my teaching okay I want you to make that clear so that if they are at least three said they are who are wondering what is my Approach that is the sticky notes only focus on sex you know what I could share he said if I can sex and tantric sex but there is video Fostoria of other topics that we could be covering if there was a need for that I started my journey you know when I was twelve if I came across from school ribando Journey you know I’m getting my own yoga practice joining different Mystery Schools learning about secret languages and I used to be a journalist a long time ago and after to yourself and go Fredonia to stretch or training and I did that for 20 years for truce ahead of fuel mixture of gurus in my life and after that. We share and it around 2,000 2,000 to launch my own coaching practice and start exploring more about personal development tend to different techniques to to upgrade to optimize your mind and are you functioning knife so of course sex is part of us it’s so true an essential aspect of her life Sexual Energy the way we have sex the way we engage it is at the very core of the very root of relationships you know romantic relationships at the very root of marriages so depending on how you play with sexual energy in the qualities that you bring in there is going to have a massive impact in your life so when you look at sex you have you no different approach so different ways of looking at it one of them is through the traditional romantic dream in your phone in love you meet your soulmate you get married you have a family and so on this is the word Lee kind of interpretation of of sex family and relationships the way I look at it it’s is positions sex on a different frequency and I look at sex and the sexual practices engaging with the country club her as an expansion of consciousness so it’s no longer fundamentally about creating story with somebody and building a relationship it’s much more about a spiritual practice that aims at opening your mind in opening of Life two realities that you would not touch otherwise so we use the sexual energy to open your chakras to circulate energy eventually to enter into mystical into orgasmic states that last for you know sometimes days or even weeks depending on how good you are at standing this these practices so those two parallel approaches of having the Romantic dream in the traditional worldly life and the traffic approaching the tantric sex approach I have been in prayer live my life for you know for a long time and now I you know I go to time I record videos I teach a broadcast in my whole life static 82 helping p you know master that lives and again the sexual aspects is a fraction of what I teach you know you have life Mastery the complete life Mastery system contains you know lots of lots of things that have to do with building houses tunable relationships mastering your mind muscle in your body muscle in your relationship to money and the mess your world material yeah I’m at your wealth and ended mastering your relationship to the spirit which is everything that is in invisible everything that has to do with meditation magic with chest with spinach and salmon and Swan religious practices so yeah this is a little bit to contacts I mean and yeah thank you so much says it’s beautiful I really appreciate what you laid out there is so important for people to understand and I really like the way you articulated it in the past about how the spirit of Tantra you could say is coming to the west to work on the second chakra issues cuz that’s where it’s needed the most but it’s only a 1/7 of the shackle diagram you know really so there is some as so much healing is needed there and I’m just so thankful that you’re out there bringing all of those aspects together and helping people progressed to the full holistic picture of self-mastery so something that I was really moved by as I was listening to all of your audio podcast is said you’ve really got a beautiful way of empowering men to understand this dance with their own shadow and with the shadow aspects that can really be alchemize and transmuted into power and and passion and inside and growth potential when dealing with issues that come up in all types of romantic relationships so I know you have some outlines of different sort of characteristics and aspects of the fire of Collie as its Express through your beloved when she’s in a rage. how to hold space for that so do you have a sort of wrap you want to share to give people a bit of that to incite you know what you’re describing they’re dealing with the feminine Shadow Center to the Shadows inside of you when confronted with that this has been happy in the major growth moments in my life of course you know the traditional spiritual practices of sitting down and meditating and practicing yoga and singing mattress and the lights you develop the light body but when it comes to taming you know your demon sent Tim into the deep inside of you the emotional emotional energies that are inside of you when it comes to taming that very often there isn’t much out there that teaches you how to do that so the way very often the Shadows come up or form of Shadows emerging in romantic relationships so imagine that you are a man and you meet this woman and you love her and you start having sex and you start engaging and dance Sunday you start being exposed to aspects of her being that you cannot really comprehend and that’s all going to be either hurtful she might be manipulative she might be lying to you she might be cheating on you she might be you know misleading you giving you false information you might be doing things that you know sometimes piss you off to bring you out of the center and the reason why she’s doing that on a transcendental level or within the country called next to where the fun it is because she becomes Your Shadow trainer it means that she is being used by your spirits by your life by the four that I got in your solution to help you become the full expression of what you can be so imagine that you live close to this Forest right to this tropical jungle and you don’t dare to do going to the Jungle because you have some tigers there you have some dangerous animals and that every time you want to go into this jungle you hesitate to go so this is a metaphor for what’s happening in your life there are certain aspects of your life that you try to suppress because you’re not really comfortable with the powers and the Shadows that are hidden in there so what’s a shadow training what’s a woman that you meet is going to do she’s going to take you by the hand and say come on let’s go and explore the Shadows let’s go and give it a try let’s go and see what we can find and the most women who are your Shadow trainers are not even aware of the rule that you’re playing in your life they will do things out of your instincts in offering their own needs but by doing that they are going to confront you with emotions that might be very challenging you know they can be Immortals of jealousy emotions of neediness emotions of frustration or extreme anger even raged you know and then when you’re confronted with thought you would like what’s what’s really going on and what is going on is that you need to perform your Evolution into complete your solution as a human being you need to be exposed to your shadows and find ways of mastering the Shadows so instead of taking all these romantic challenges seriously you can look at them as an experiment you can say to yourself this is just a training grounds nothing more I’m just training here to become a better person and so the moment your perspective and you see all that has an experiment a zoo life experiments you radically you know where we position yourself and stop looking at it from an interesting perspective on when you have negative emotions Rising instead of trying to run away from them you start witnessing them you start observing them start seeing how they impact on your level of power how they hurt or how to make you feel good then you allow yourself to release them your lawyer stuff to bring in sometimes new techniques in your practices to Yahoo activates the shadows and start reading mastering them the overall goal of food that is for you to become Shadow Master be a master of your Shadow rather than a slave of your shadows and see for most people go through life and every time you’re with the Shadow with you try to run away from from from it while you try to put a lid on it because Society doesn’t value to Shadows you know any motion like sadness or anger I mean if you do sound Psychotherapy maybe you you might be exposed to somebody who gives you the space to be safely exploring this this emotions but when you have a partner and you are certainly extremely sad normally tell your friends are going to sell you should not be sad you say why not why not I can be sad I can I can express the same music as I can feel them and learn from them and see where they take me where does the Sunday’s tequila where does this anger take you because it’s an interesting inspiration so you going to list in a jungle of emotions and energies and by being exposed to certain routes in those challenging Spears you are going to expand your being and what he does is is that fence your emotions potential your energetic potential instead of working with only the light side of your being you start engaging the other aspects and that’s that’s a whole new dimension to your existence traffic sense absolutely yes definitely so as you’re speaking I’m remembering through my life timeline how I use the tantric practices like you say the stuff you do in the Archer armor in your bedroom or whatever you do your personal sort of discipline of mastering your inner space and then when you go out with that conditioning into the real world and then to the the stormy world of relationships they come to your rescue with like I’ve just been able to snap right into some deep pranayama right when I need it and it’s like gives you these cushion or this buffering on reactivity so do you have some some pointers are tips there on what types of practical skills in your solo Tantra practice or or when you’re doing well with a couple like training exercises specifically to give individuals and couples tools to create that that dance space with the shadow material as it comes up unexpectedly if you know what the worst time is it so happens is that if you listen to this with you and you have been exposed to decide your shadows you might be the only wanted in your relationship who is interested in actually working on these things may be your partner are your girlfriend and a wife she might be like you know what I have no idea what you’re talking about. You cannot with you relate to that and every time you start explaining a little bit about it it’s like you lose her in some libraries that are not pretty interesting to her so very often this is going to be the situation you are going to be with the shadow trainer with the woman who doesn’t even know she said she doesn’t know the road that is playing in your life she’s just following her own thing it’s true by Fort Wayne that she’s going to to challenge you so what happens in that situation is that you will need to find techniques that you can apply to yourself only first you have to master your shadows and then try to master the Shadows that are protected within the couple the first is the wrapping techniques for yourself once you master goes techniques for yourself and eventually you can teach them to to your girlfriend to your wife but first is really in her Mastery okay so the technique that uses lots are Dynamic treating you know fire breath they are shaking their using mantras from Victoria to Cali and repeat that mantra for 5 minutes or sometimes half an hour it goes on and on and on like a psycho and I use also martial art techniques you know like punching and kicking like if you do some kickboxing is going to give enough news for these Aesthetics and some of the things that the mentioning right now they think us as being a Spiritual Development technique but you know what it is it is because you’re using something maybe the context is not sacred you know that it’s not good with when you’re at the gym and practicing that you go like well I’m just releasing I just training my body but you can really give it to certain lights vibration and the strain energy where you realize that what you’re doing is secret because it’s circulating energies and giving a channel for your Shadow Expressions so something is that I do I go about training outdoor you know I’m chugging outdoor and doing an energetic emotional release outdoor today it’s you know what’s 5 degrees Celsius outside I’m in Switzerland I just went to the lake and John brzenk Lake why do I do that because the the impact of the cold water has on your body create some form of energetic reset it’s almost like I see if your electromagnetic field just gets hit by electric shock that brings you back to a position of neutrality and it’s you know all this I think they have invoking the power of renewal in the center of them it’s what about releasing what you no longer need so if you have any motion that is trapped in your system how are you going to release it by giving that emotion channels and allowing this energy to circulate rather than being stacked in one of your check was over in some part of your body fits what about moving with Grace you know it’s it has a lot to do with was so emotional intelligence and intelligence so use that the 3D iPhone is really helpful is I sure nobody will take notes on the Dynamics of what’s Happening inside of me so I will try to explain rationalize you know have models that explain a little bit emotions that are going through so I can have some Metal Frames that give me an architecture of the Dynamics that are happening yeah yeah there is you know there is more sometimes he’s going to be in a creative floor Francis if I just discovered something and I’m super charge the battery. I might record a video and share that with with my Origins by martin-gay she will. Into into kitchen together yeah you know you can also take a pillow and Sheet pillows and ice cream like in or you go to a beach to someplace where nobody can see you and you just you just voice it you express it your voice if you scream to release the whatever anger attached is inside of you and all those techniques worksheet it’ll work or are you at with me and they are all very Dynamic techniques you know if you have been exposed to the teachings of Osho you know it’s a lot about this kind of energetic or emotional releases rather than sitting down and meditating yeah this is something something important to understand is that if you sit down and meditate to relieve intense emotions you should eat this for me it doesn’t really work because you’re trying to put a lid on it you like no one fine I’m cool know you’re not cool down and say no it’s cool I’m not feeling anything I’m not this raging you know when you’re trying to suppress it but usually that’s not with Factory because it’s like it’s as if you have a reserve of Pi are there and you’re trying to turn down to fire no call go ahead and use the fire going to learn how to play with it how to master it it’s a source of energy those are not all straight lines they’re in their winding paths and we have to follow the path if we are going to understand the person that were talking to if I’m going to understand the person I’m talking to you no hear my office is in Beverly Hills but I see people from all over there some people who were from next door there are other people who drive an hour in 2 hours to get to me so there’s no there’s no quick and simple answer about the people that I’m seeing and being a select group it’s really a Melting Pot of people and I can’t make the assumptions about who people are or unless I talk to them and that’s where I start is help me to understand you my my focus says I’m working with people is not trying to teach them though I know there are psychologist and psychotherapist who to focus on teaching people my focus is more on helping people to understand them and helping people to sort out what’s going on in their mind and how that connects to their life experience their understandings of themselves in the world of their relationships with other people and who they can be when they can’t be what to expect in the world so that’s where where I start with people is helping them to to let me know who they are and and that certainly applies with all issues about sex and sexuality and images of sex and sexuality okay well yeah thank you for that I’m feeling your your approaches it feels like if we all had that level of care and concern in and space to really create our own narratives that would be a way to solve a lot of our own problems with the bit of help so I appreciate that approach and that was kind of the sort of statistical archetypal stereotype of what’s of what how how you know several of the factors of how young men and boys are being harmed by something that they’re not that they actually end up being very uncomfortable with and want to seek help for inner creating their own sources for that there’s the nofap movement I’m not sure if you’ve heard of that but through set of what it’s coming down to is the extreme you know negative outcome of excessive use according to their own you know their own gauge of it and then if we look at I’ll just give you another kind of case study type example but the other equation for consumio young consumers of pornography young consumers erotic media getting there to leave the pornography tournament the door thank you email to talk about sexual images andronic images but that doesn’t mean that they are pouring and then it’s a question of what are the images the people are looking at you know there are there’s a lot of stereotype of those images are being filled with violence and leading to violence but that’s only a very small segment of what’s out there in the world of sexual imagery whether it’s videos or Stills and and the same thing with with rose there’s a whole world of sexual images that are all about love and are about sex being shown in very loving tender and unsatisfying ways but often that doesn’t get into the dialogue around porn was looking at the let’s say the Straight female certified sexual initiation process which happens to everyone and so a complaint that’s heard often is that you know I’m a teenage girl and all the boys are essentially behaving like they’re possessed and all they want to do is you know penetrate my anus in a way that has no real train skill or care concern or lubrication or all of the things that would be considered best practice is to explore that area and then they’re like this is a porndemic because I can’t find a young male to you know deflower me who I don’t feel really terrified by what’s going on in erotic imagination so is that something that you have had to answer questions about or deal with or confront cuz that’s the other sort of end of the spectrum of harm that’s certainly there and that then raises the question where do people get their sex education from where they get their sex education from about what’s normal and what if what they see on the internet is the only place that they are are learning about sex and that’s a very skewed you about what sex is what sex should be and there’s something about that that needs to be changed not from birth on the internet but to bring other people to to those kids education and part of part of that has to do with most of the sexual imagery that’s online is there for males and there’s not that of sexual imagery without fear for females so it certainly there but people do have to be looking for it more and for many of the boys growing up who who see sex on the internet that’s what they often might see but that doesn’t mean that that’s what’s normal and they’re also places on the internet where they can get more loving for Trails how that can be done and whatever sex acts someone might be looking for or inquiring but another part of this which I don’t want to just let Slide by under dress has to do with your talkin about the girls responses to to the boys I efforts to have sex and what they’re wanting and that has to do with what boys and girls and what adolescents grow up with about their own sexuality and what’s normal and what’s not normal and what’s okay and what’s not okay we’re still in a time when adolescents have the mindset that that boys should be the ones to initiate girl should not initiate and that puts all of the burden on on the boys and it sets up a dynamic between the boys and the girls wear and what kind of like you said the girls are saying well all he wants is to have sex and he wants to have it this way well let’s start with you all he wants is to have sex part and so why isn’t there more of an equality between boys and girls where they’re both wanting to have sex and they’re both seeing sex as something positive from an early age because the alternative is that is too kind of demon eyes the boys for wanting to have sex and the girls aren’t really wanting sex they’re just wanting to be loved and that is a whole dynamic between boys and girls between men and women that I think is really important part of all of these relationships that we need to take another look at it I mean it was addressed many years ago in certainly in the psychological literature one of the people that was looking at that was Wilhelm right back in the 30s about the sex negative view that was in society and there’s your dad still there we haven’t really gone all that far from that especially compared to how we think we’ve come miles and miles but it’s really only a few feet right like you’re saying there’s so many unspoken hidden Frameworks that are not being addressed like you know how to speak from experience when I was when I was a boy coming-of-age into my hormonal sexual self I was afraid to go up and write something on the chalkboard or point something out in the map because I had a tent pole in my pants cuz I was very turned on by the teacher or somebody else in the class and there was no masturbation room to go take care of myself at home or at school so we’re just not designing for this energy to flow through our cultures and you were living with the fear of being exposed as being a sexual / and being ridiculed for it in ways that girls never work but that’s the typical experience of growing up mail right and having as a dynamic between males and females in that very tender. Of age right so we’ve got a few minutes left I really appreciate your insights and I think I’m at a point where I feel like the way to frame this discourse is that it’s pouring is not a Public Health crisis or public health hazard sexual holistic sexuality education is in the lack thereof is the Public Health crisis and exactly more of the Public Health crisis is about sexual repression sexual oppression about teaching teaching people generally but especially teaching girls that sex is dirty and teaching girls that boys are bad for wanting to have sex that if everyone kind of grew up on an even playing field of seeing sex as positive seeing love is positive and being able to talk together about about those things to talk together about love to talk together about sex to talk together about what you want and what you don’t want and that’s okay we will be in a very different environment than we are today there is to be a new political office of a quote horns are not to be confused with torrent star that person was to be open-minded enough to take some direction and possibly offer to hire you to consult what kinds of programs designs no just outlines you know big picture thinking you know if you were to be able to be respected for what you’re saying and it is a we want to address the issue of institutionalized sexual repression in so where do we begin to unravel that not this is just that you know food for thought and I think one of the places is to redefine the title and take pouring out of the picture but it’s not about pouring it’s about sexuality and sexual acceptance and how can we how can we bring sexual acceptance into the public dialogue and into into the educational system and into into the kind of dialogue that parents have with your kids that that seems to me to be a big part of that role of Tsar do I don’t know that that’s the right term but to to change the language that we talked about these things so we’re not talking about about about it with sex negative sex by a sex pejorative kind of language that skews things from the gecko and set and sets us up to lose from the very start right to the simple statement sexual aggression is the product of sexual repression so it’s going to come out in pouring it’s going to come out on prom night all of that pent-up frustrated aggressive certified you want to call it Satanic call it Satanic whatever you want to call but you can have to bring the light to the darkness and and get some help with that so I think the case is closed and I really appreciate what we’ve accomplished in this call setting some new terms for discourse and really putting the the family and the family therapist in the community and the school teachers more in a position of of leadership than political Lake litigation legislation and political offices so what I would add to that is in terms of where you started is to encourage parents know themselves to be honest with themselves to be honest with their own prejudices and biases to be honest with their own fears to be honest with their own misconceptions so they don’t pass them along to kids and to be able to listen to kids more than they talk to kids and to be able to have a dialogue rather than a lecture with their kids and that changes the relationship between parents and kids and helps kids to grow and to feel accepted beautiful beautiful all right thank you dr. schub so much and if you want to give your contact information so people can start to seek your help sure you can find me at actor Karl subs.com that d r c a r l s h u b s or one string calm and phone number is 310-772-0520 that’s local here in Beverly Hills great thank you so much have a wonderful day take care you to thanks very much. 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