Tag Archives: accountability

How to Find Your Dream Lover and Be Ridiculously Happy with Wendy Newman TPP223

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In this episode I’m joined by Wendy Newman, a highly accomplished sex and relationship expert for an epic exploration of her wisdom for modern dating and intimate relating. She is a rare treasure having spent many years researching and practicing her craft. We learn about her personal journey and compare notes on how to how to evolve past old defaults of the patriarchal paradigm.

Please visit her website at: https://wendyspeaks.com/

And join her Inner Circle at:  https://www.patreon.com/wendynewman

About Wendy:

Wendy Newman is a media-celebrated author, and a dating, sex and relationship expert who’s led hundreds of workshops and revolutionized the lives of over 60,000+ women internationally. She guides women to understand men, dating, sex, and partnership of all kinds.

Since 2002, Wendy has interviewed thousands of men on relationships, love, dating, intimacy, sex, and the opposite sex. She’s conducted polls, had one-on-one discussions, and hosted over hundred male speaker panels for these topics.

Wendy is a compassionate fellow dater who navigated her way through 120 first dates before meeting her husband, Dave, lucky #121. They live in San Francisco.

Her book, 121 First Dates: How to Succeed at Online Dating, Fall in Love and Live Happily Ever After (Really!) is part juicy tell-all, part anti-rules dating guide. It’s been optioned for a television series.

You can find Wendy’s articles, features, interviews and expert advice through the following media outlets: Access Hollywood, The Wall Street Journal, U.S. News, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, The Daily Telegraph (Australia), Meetic (France), Glamour, Redbook, Self, Huffington Post, Men’s Health, Men’s Journal, Elle (Canada), Honey (Australia), Salon, Your Tango, Refinery 29, Ask Men, Thought Catalog, Brit + Co, She Knows, Bustle and more.

Wisdom for Practicing Ethical Magic with Michael Bonner TPP186

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In this episode I’m joined by my new dear friend Mike Bonner for a discussion about ethical magic, sex magic, consciousness, love, fantasy, romance, pansexuality, and much more.

 

He does a beautiful job laying out both fundamental and advanced concepts for navigating the color spectrum of magic. He also provides very practical down to earth skill sets and tools for keeping your magical practice on a healthy course.

 

This episode I know will stand as a perennial resource of wisdom to help up and coming seekers avoid the many pitfalls that result from unchecked egoic tendencies in all areas of life. This is a true gift of heart purification!

 

About Mike:
His super power is to help others discover their own personal power and awareness and claim it, through magick, psychology, nature, tantra, and self exploration. Bonner has been studying and practicing magick, tantra, and psychology for over 15 years.

 

 With the help and teachings of shamans, spiritual guides, gods & goddesses, psychologists, therapists, unbridled and fearless self exploration and pure beings in his life, to empower his journey of discovery for himself and others.

 

Connect with Mike at:
mikebonnerhair (at) gmail (dot) com
instagram.com/mikebonnerhair
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast episode number 186 I am doing an episode with a new dear friend of mine Mike Bonner who I’ve connected with my social media and is he’s been a listener and fan of the show and we have so much in common I was a long time coming to get this podcast done and we will be many more forthcoming I’m sure you will fall deeply madly in love with all of his wisdom and insights and really enjoy the subject matter which is really foundational to averting catastrophe and and and staying on course for a really beautiful magical manifestation of all kinds so yes again I hope you enjoy and namaste find and reach their own personal strength and power and to be better solves I did a lot of self-discovery over the years it just slipped through a lot of different different I guess variables you can say like through magic to Tantra through I just communicating with people also just kind of going back to my younger years just kind of you know I know that you come from a Punky background and I was in that as well with some coffee stuff and all this kind of such my grandmother had a son used to do this all the time when I was kid so I watched them to all these things and it was really intriguing and I knew that they were actually doing something because I actually didn’t really know what they were doing it’s like seven or eight years old that I care I don’t I don’t mess with anything dark like that I practice a lot of Earth Magic and Sex Magic white magic things like that just trying to use all that energy that I get to build in there and get to like thrusting into creativity that goes into music or I also do hair I do have a barber and a hairdresser and so a lot of it comes out that way and that was also a way that I discovered I guess kind of what I can do for people on they told me that I helped them a lot and I did I I didn’t realize what I was doing at the time when I was working on my client says as a new Barber and hairdresser I just was a very curious person and I wanted to basically just kind of find out everything about the person that I could not in a creepy way either I just felt that the interaction was so personally it’s a vicious open up to you so I I I tried to listen even even even now I’d like to try to listen as best as I can to what people are actually saying whether it be through their words or their body language cuz I believe both are and I think they’re both equally as important I think we’ve all been sitting in front of somebody when they’ve been saying something on their words you know are coming out but their bodies actually saying something else not just desire to me is a real test connection I think within that person solves so I started noticing that another people then I started asking myself is you know I was doing these things too and so I just started to really look into that and also what people were telling me about you know I could see them and work on conversations go away for a month or two or whatever it was and they live out you know this thing that we talked about her and that’s when people say thank you so much I guess I never really thought about it until that point and that’s kind of as a young adult I’d say about 19 or 20 so I started looking more into the different types of Magic the different types of Tantra which I didn’t realize I was already doing all so you know people have this really funny way of how they think about Tantra the nights I think a conversation for another time cuz that’s a whole other topic I guess that’s that’s really my intro all that all sounds very good to me thank you for sharing that apologies for some of the background noise right now but I know are so we talked about it before one of the reasons why I wanted to say hey we should talk about this around feel like something has been missing as far as really laying a solid foundation for what different best practices of ethical magic really are and what some of the the the core principles that people may may be overlooking and just anybody who is sophisticated it has a long-standing practice study and expiration going to various traditions and they’re all that always intrigued me so I love to hear you help us understand some of the 101 aspects of what it means to even embarked on the path of empowering yourself to feel that you’ve been you could achieve magical powers to help with whatever comes to mind if you call yourself different terminology for magic and basically I people can call themselves whatever they like forgot my my what I believe are the real foundations of magic is accountability and responsibility I think those are two very very very strong pieces of the foundation that also translate into into life. I think but when you’re actually practicing magic you know if you’re going to set out to do some kind of ritual or spell whether it’s something that you want to do of your own making and will or you know of something that’s that’s been around for a while or whatever is the intention you have to have to State your intentions first and foremost it’s one of them what’s important things to do even before creating a Sacred Space in a circle for yourself on I like to start there it can take 10 seconds or I can take 10 minutes or longer it is whatever you want whatever your intention or your intentions are super super clear and just try to be really specific and remember that accountability and responsibility the second thing I think you have to do always right after Arby’s just asked for protection whatever it is you like to call upon whether it’s God or gods or goddesses or deities or you have specific helpers that you like to use Envision yourself in some way than protecting you or something of what I what I like to do is basically I I I surround myself in the circle of these big Rose Bush’s basically with these big thorns and these really really sturdy branches and he’s really beautiful roses and everything from the outside can almost see him that’s that’s what I do and I think that’s really really really really have to start so set your intention ask for your protection and pretty much from there on you can start so you can create trade environment I would say either that’s what I like to do if I have the time on the fit something big that you want to put a lot into whether it’s something that you’re manifesting or or celebrating or whatever it is that you’re doing you’re looking for some answers you know what whatever that is you like also candles or Pinot pillows and blankets or whatever is going to make you comfortable to make you feel is going to be I really actually love to to listen to dancing dance select Lisa Gerrard, magic and you said is my soundtrack goldfrapp for me is another one and she’s an insanely powerful witch and and gives us spells and rituals in front of our faces visually and and threw her words and people don’t even realize it so I’d that’s kind of what I like to do when I have the time to spend on relief. Like I said I know you’ve talked a lot about how important it is to open up chakras and it is really important to do that through the kind of ducks are doing a breathing and end this is really really really opening every single cell and poor and hair and everything in this body that work together because we’re meant to experience a lot of different things and then people are are afraid they’re afraid of everything and it’s it’s actually quite a shame that so many people lives in fear of of change of fear of themselves exterior of identity which I think there is a huge lack of these days you know what social media being so so big and what it is you know I know it’s obvious to state that you know it’s a Time suck her and it’s you know all it does is it really makes people feel bad about themselves and in technology you know we’re more connected today than we ever were and we’re also super disconnected. Only with ourselves but with everything else around us you know I really believe I really do believe that there are three types of people and I think I’ve I’ve talked to you about this before been in the world there’s they’re really honestly I’ve tried to break this down to the most simple simplest form and inform me like I said the three types I think that are out there are aware people people like us people who are trying to be better through our mind body and spirit helping ourselves helping each other helping the environment helping everything Universe all that kind of stuff you know we have to be aware of the soldiers I don’t know how else to tend to say that and then we have the masses who are basically just these zombies these are the people you know that are walking off cliffs to get a picture of walking into the streets and they’re just you know they’re consuming and they’re they’re literally eating each other’s faces while we are standing right in front of them and they have no real awareness that there are doing this they’re just sort of this spoon-fed weird overgrown lump is of sorts in now and I don’t know if there are any if there if there’s any help for that. The masses you know which I like to call the zombies and then let’s just let’s go for the 3rd I believe that the other ones are vampires vampires and those are the parasites up there those are the people that just really latch on I mean it is what it is it’s a vampire is Parasite you know we’ve all come across the state if they want to suck you in and they they need to suck you into all that they created the but are you know I just I basically don’t really pay a lot of attention to that eventually they just get bored and move on so that’s kind of how I died deal with that I guess since we’re talking about three years cuz three such powerful number another another thing that I really believes and is that we have three different brains and I know we talked about this before I made you laugh about this but I do believe that we have three different brains one is our head which is the the Periscope with the feeding tube attached to it if you remember correctly. I just we can go on and on about it you know for all of our logic blocks us from a lot of things and it it also thinks that that it tells us reason but what it does is it ends up talking us out of some really good things also and then we have the second brain which I believe is your heart that’s pretty pretty simple that’s where all the emotions come from that’s that’s where all the pier emotions come from it’s it’s it’s whatever you’re doing whenever you get those feelings of of just being so incredibly insurance so happy and and it’s almost childlike you know these childlike feelings of swords and then I want to move on to the third Friday which is your guts and that’s responsible for all the the intuition that most people just choose to ignore that were frankly I think they just don’t hear it sometimes or maybe most of the time I also think that’s where are most Primal South comes from and I try to use those three brains separately to identify different I guess emotions that come from something situations that happened you know I think you have to be pretty clear about where that is coming from to be able to physically pinpoint if it’s if it’s if it’s all in motion if it’s something that I was trying to tell us they’re just not aware of and I like to when I get to talk to people when they’re sitting in my chair or if I’m having a coffee with some water or whatever I mean I’ve I’ve had some great conversations with people just sitting waiting to get my car washed you know all these little connections I I believe in synchronicity also I think synchronicity is is is a real thing and it’s a huge thing and I think that also coincides goes along with magic you know magic is a a change of consciousness within yourself and also be able being able to to change the rib that Consciousness around you it all kind of goes back and points to the same kind of thing you know when when we’re in tune we not only are better people for everything around us but specifically for other people and I think that’s really important and you know cuz the world that we live in right now is just like I said earlier so full of fear and and come and paranoia and I think that everybody just needs to kind of take a step back and really be accountable and be responsible for yourself in hey we’re not be a little responsible for other people to sometimes I don’t think it’s such a bad thing is to also from previous especially bad is part of the ocean that I have kicked her out for a while I really am not going to stay the name of this this fellow but I will say that I was interested in studying a a very accomplished black time trick magician who has very interesting thesis about the difference between white magic and black magic and into to paraphrase what one of the things he said it was basically that you can if you were if you were to truly be a projectile practitioner white magic then you would not attempt to influence the outcome really evenie evenie life of that because that would be so presumptuous to assume that you have the almighty waste God and therefore Could Do no harm and everything you do is going to be perfectly each of the life but more but more realistic see that that’s that’s wishful thinking is my any more realistically it’s it’s it’s a safer intellectual place to own that if you were trying to make any adjustments on the outcomes of anyone’s life your own & Beyond then actually physically a black magician because you are defying the the natural order of things and it’s all semantics my grandmother they were really trying to influence and actually make these things happen good most of the time it was not good and they did and they did it you know I’m with white magic and and and Earth Magic and sex Magik I I don’t I mean I guess influence I guess is the word we can use for now you’re sort of just taking all of this energy bill topping in one way or another if you know however you felt it up and then being able to use that into I don’t know if I don’t know if I would say influence I would say uh manifestation really some people call it prayer some people call it meditation whatever you want to call it I just feel I don’t know I feel like with with those types of magic in the lighter stuff you’re more of asking verses asking and kind of directing your you’re not you’re not really pushing for this this this intense outcome so to speak I mean there’s a there isn’t there definitely has been crazy intense outcomes with different things that I’ve done before but for me I can only speak personally I out of my experience those who have come out of liver a surprise when they did and then I ended up feeling things are experiencing things I’ve never done before I knew that I hit these other levels out of magic so I guess I don’t have never heard I’ve never I’ve never heard that argument but I do understand what what he’s saying by that answer or might my response to that make any sense I think we’re really getting somewhere because you know the simple I guess the shore most likely people who think they’re doing only white magic are doing great magic and people who think they’re only doing Blackmagic are also do it yeah I know I get I totally did I just have never heard it put that way I can only speak from my experience at all I think that’s where the influencing comes comes in the play is that I’ve noticed and gray like you said or black it is it’s usually a demand for something whether that’s a strong demand or a light one or or whatever it does that make sense what you just said right there is so pivotal because if you like I would love to have to be instrumental in in training a new the Next Generation magicians who who who understand you are not understanding of what the parameters of black magic are to eat I don’t want to do it or I don’t do it and do it for someone to trust that you really don’t do is like how do you define it so you know that intuition brain the gut-brain you know something doesn’t feel right doing something that you maybe you’re questioning to a point you know you that much then I would say stop I mean the same thing goes for like when you’re learning a haircut. funny things when it comes to Magic but also it’s that intention and I mean all four of those to me are before you do anything and I guess you know kind of going back to the house he was in a sort of saying that the white magicians are black and black or white and you know all of this is your job to be to be really responsible in in what you’re doing and what you’re asking and what your intentions are I mean it literally all just goes and points back to the same thing when I look at it you know I’m always very very very careful and I’ve been practicing the stuff for sale like I was really honing in on some stuff and then I ended up being a moving to the desert like I do know we talked before the last couple years and not that really propelled me into a whole other level of magic that I’ve never even knew I was capable of and that’s that’s what sort of solidified the the power that I have is things like I said to help other mothers finders in to claim it and and share my practices and what’s helped me put my mind at ease and not not in not just my mind or my brains and all three of them but but my my soul and everything else has is well you know I I’ve always believed this I believe that people really really really have to Value themselves and I mean really value themselves cuz it’s a direct reflection of how you interact with everything around you not just the other people but Adam Wilson you know that our sins and everything and I feel like a lot of people don’t value themselves these days for whatever reason it is and then like I said where you can sell you endless consuming society and in the end it didn’t they just bursting at the seams with human child basically it’s their eyes and ears are being consumed by you know the Kardashians and the news and the biscuits and you know just all this crazy shit instead of putting other things in in there you know turn the TV off so you can have the internet than the TV bundle in the whole deal I always tell them you know that’s a lot but I am one of those weirdos and every single time I got the same response it’s what do you do what do you do with yourself I don’t understand what you do explain to them exactly what I did or whatever I’m not going to I’m not going to tell the poor girl at Time Warner one network to the other all right where we exactly where when you realize that when you got cut off but if I could bring us back to where to elaborate on and I was going to say the one I love about how you framed the distinction between the white and black magic Continuum is really about what the ad if I’m understanding correctly and I’ll kind of rephrase this is like the step-by-step would be the intention and then the call the intention is to do no harm and to do good or to do well or to heal or to manifest positivity or something of us open generate so positivity as he has the intention and then instead of instead of imposing your your sort of self-promoting self-aggrandizing or somehow that comes from what are you but I believe in a lot of that comes from Eco you know about asking and asking and away and also just trying to coddle it enter to she also harness it at the same time you know there’s a gentleness to it and also the black magic in the darker Arts I find it very demanding when they’re asking its atom and it’s a hey. I feel like a lot of it just comes from the ego you know it isn’t that is what I think is like I’m going to make this happen this is going to happen because I say I’m a powerfuel I I’m this powerful I’m blah blah blah you know when I when I come to my own personal power I let it speak to me I know that sounds corny and whatever but I do you know I left I let it talk to me I mean the other day I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom and I had a really really funny experience on the window is directly behind me and it looks up into these really beautiful trees and I was just brushing my teeth tonight I got whatever it was I didn’t really pay any trees with the branches coming up looks like basically he’s like Kevin Lee really amazing earth Spirits they just look like these pillars with these what their hands up into the air in the sun was coming through for me to be able to recognize that as I’m just one daily brushing my teeth and you know doing whatever to see something like that I think it’s really Spectacular Now and Then that led needs some thinking and then I’d like to writing and then that actually led to sort of I guess you’d call it a vegetable that I said last night I didn’t even really plan on doing on from just brushing my teeth looking up and being just being open and aware enough to accept things like this when when the earth is giving you something when a person or another being I don’t feel like there are coincidences with the black it’s like these definitive I guess like miles to basically justify and validate that your accessory is working does that make sense other assorted from distinction I’m thinking trying to access my normally very inefficient left brain I’m trying to figure out almost mathematical or algorithmic type of thinking to this mechanical or robotic but I think the juxtaposition of the news actually really quite wonderful I feel like magic can be an if-then type algorithm where you basically about what is an if-then a recipe is an algorithm in the algorithm is the recipe so there you have it so it’s the thing of it that way I’d say where we are on this graph for this this these branches that are coming out from a tree or a sort of thought bubble you know this series of steps and process uses that the the intention now I’m kind of seeing how the way to it’s not like it gets completely Amorphis because the intention could be to raise a million dollars for charity which which has elements of it that are are very parameterize do you know you have the not be a dollar amount you have the the sort of limiting factor that it be for a nonprofit organization for some charitable cause that you would hope will be auctioned charity than it would have some wedding on what its value is what is what is a specific charity and what do they do for people that Community whatever it is you know animals once again to that in ten and then your accountability and responsibility to that attention to that make sense so the intention let’s say if it was to save the polar bears you would focus on the help and try calling on not just got all that stuff you know put the energy out there throwing out a million tentacles at one time you’re not quite a fishing that but like you’re trying to zap and you’re trying to get an end open these channels up and try to reach other people I’m in spine that. Sort of tap into their goodness as well you know and end end it’s all I can kind of see what the intention is to save the polar bears do to do all the stuff of course you know you want to be able to hit this goals and that is obviously important but I think that the weight of it needs to go back to what the what the reason and why why you’re you’re why you’re doing this why you feel so strongly about it to me that’s more to me that’s more important you know cuz when it’s with all of that projection and all of that even when you’re when you’re putting that out there too I just I feel like it’s it’s just better all the way around energetically speaking we have it well yeah because you could ask for billing and maybe it cost you a hundred million and if you would have just said get the job done you would have been really really really specific cuz I have been many times when I’m sure it’s going to happen again because I really focused on the on X y&z now I know I was really really really sure let’s go forward a little bit and woe holyshit all this stuff wow okay this is this is incredible you know I’m just asking you know asking for things and not being afraid to ask so I got all these two I got all the pieces but I didn’t quite get them in the order I wanted them in right is that make you know what I mean weather at make the Joker’s like you had your prayers are answered but it’s distributed you know they are dropped but they’re broken in two packages across time and space you have to like hang on to that key that you found in the gutter for like 5 years in that door that you can’t open that you thought you should be able to the keys in your pocket it and then reveal their working towards towards something good it was in a different order or it was just not quite like I said I thought I was even more than I had to go back and look at my writing it look at and that’s my accountability in my responsibility to myself and University anyway I know I mean I know it’s a little tiny things but things has lasers with the order of the universe and that’s why I say you know I will always go back to accountability responsibility and intention and that has actually helped me with those actually put those into everyday use all the time in my life and it and it really really does Century because I’m always stand under them sesef creepy way but you know I just I want to be accountable for my actions for the things that come out of my mouth which is why I choose my words you know in my tone and my delivery very carefully you know I want to be responsible not just to myself but but two other people of the earth you know animals everything I want to be responsible to the magic I want to be responsible to people are saying that that I you know she’ll balance somewhere I don’t I don’t I never considered myself you know I just have to kind of go you hear it enough times from people you got to start looking into it you know and I’ve always been really humble about not just like my hair dressing as well and it’s cool to have been able to the Catalyst that field my inch extend a check and intent ra and yoga and just self-exploration with my mind body and spirit you know and it’s cool like I said what such an intimate exchange that I’m having with my clients in my relationships whether it’s been you know 6 months or 20 years I’ve been doing this 23 years and I literally get to practice my magic everyday all day not just when I’m at work it seems to be more concentrated when I’m at work because obviously you know that I protect myself every single day at work at 10 in the morning I’m up at like 5 or 6 I can’t just get up and go like I need to have a really slow the morning and and just spend some time with myself 3 years ago and she’s like I know it’s going to sound stupid but really she was telling me that I did a really good job and I was able to just walk away from it and not be angry and not be anything and you know if anything I felt that stunted and at their age they’re never going to really have the chance to kind of play another way and I think that it was because they didn’t want to be another way but but what I was saying was she wanted me to be aware of it and I was but I didn’t I didn’t see it through her eyes and never get to see each other selves exactly how other people see us and we never will you know and so she said you know you need to look at yourself in the mirror tonight for 30 seconds straight in the eyes and tell yourself thank you you’re a badass and you should have really fucking good job. Cutting salon or if I you know help somebody out that day or whatever I got a phone call from a client with her friends you know after we talk after we took whatever and they are thinking I have to be really humble you know I’m not passing out and I’m not handing out like free I don’t want I don’t like unsolicited advice you know it’s so one of the first things I do ask people not just with my work and I could be the hairdressing barbering star that could be counseling or are you know just just helping people with magic just keep it really clear it really really really really clear about what your intentions are. Yeah that really setting in and like I said not in a weird obsessive way but they put it really does make you rethink your reactions or even you know have not having a reaction to something is a reaction and I think a lot of us need to practice on a lot more you know not a not having a reaction to something even even possible yeah yeah and don’t keep it on Harrison into some fire you know I mean I try to walk that person away from the fire cuz I don’t know I just I think I truly believe that everybody deserves to be happy it starts with ourselves that it actually it’s that needing that wants to become a better man for myself or and it flows out if you and is infectious you know toddlers but I really do believe it has to be that first and foremost thing you said it’s important to note that says in this some kind of an outline here it is said your ability to stay accountable really if we if we look zoom into that word we’re talking about accounting it brings to mind the notion of a ledger and unassertive bookkeeping and so the bookkeeping is your book of spells so if you if you crave cast that magic spell and you do you set your intention and then you you see that it might be going walk or something but you have the ability to go back to that date and you do it on a spicious days of the calendar so that you can know where to where to go back to it are you confusing software you can search for it but to be able to if you if you just you just verbalize it you may not remember which I constantly have so many different books and actually you know I have one that’s kind of a general one that I’m constantly have about three or four that I’m kind of working at one time always you know one of them is for my partner and I specifically for both of us you know one of them is kind of a general one one is from me and my interactions with yellow lines notebook pads you know like the legal ones and so I just write down a lot of stuff I’m not a writer I just I just ride a lot of things down your bullet point things to make things all kinds of stuff you know you you can you already know or you trying to collect what that smell is what that ritual is what you’re trying to do put it all down and then once once you actually do everything you can either form at it before you know if you want a bullet point the different steps that you want to do like I say if you’re doing a spell the ritual that you created for yourself I think that’s completely fine you want to give things objects meanings you want to you know do it do I’m all for that you know I don’t care what it is you use I like to use a combination of different things that I’ve collected throughout the years symbolize different stuff for me and also I like to use a lot of different crystals in a lot of different God where we going with this I’m so sorry Vizio creating your own ritual is what I was saying there we go and just put a little bit of the power of writing it down so you can go back and check on it and might get the answer you could actually addressed it you know you could be right in a mandarin constitutional freedoms and yeah right down all the stuff cuz I actually do have a cooking diary that I do cuz I like to call so and so I take notes of every single thing that I do and it’s also just really good to go back and review or you know even just to kind of go back and read these books and see you know it’s a really interesting way to tell my own story to myself you know no one really gets to look at these except you know every now and then my I’ll show my boyfriend are you know maybe I’ll show up page or something or two or you know whatever it is I share a lot with him the one that I have I’m supposed to mean I was just really cool Connection in the synchronicities that we have together having said that I’ll come right down and write down your rituals in your spells you know if you eat your your journey as a magician really I mean we do this weekend with our card since you know so it’s basically keeping sort of your own it’s kind of like a journal in a report card and a bunch of other things all thrown in together you know and then again I think it’s just an interesting way of contacting some books that are like 15 years old has moved back to the city of December to write thank you notes bass like it’s all me I can all you know I can see and I can feel that it’s all me but just to watch the evolution of but just the awareness and the openness because I really really really might my 30s for me were about being really open and I thought I was open and I wasn’t certain ways but I was so closed off and scared and invulnerable most mostly on a sort of an emotional level would certain Dynamics and I just was like fuck it you know this I really really really want to know what this is like I want to know what that’s like I want to know what it’s like to really still open and so I had to learn that the process of letting go look at myself as a work in progress as we all are letting letting go was like one of my biggest lessons in keeping things simple Letting Go being present I’m old I don’t take anything personally and I used to take as I was a fucking crazy ass young double Scorpio and pass shit and I I just would be exhausted and I didn’t have time for myself so I had that was another thing that actually made me focus on myself and go okay this is going back to I have to be able to take to help myself and I can’t I can’t complete all of my energy and all of everything that I have two other people all the time you know if there’s a limit there’s a limit that I can get especially like in a work setting are in a social setting is for a social and I am actually quite an introvert I really prefer just like mellow chill kind of stuff you know I was going to say just one that I would like everyone to try to practice is to just really not take anything really personally because ultimately you know I am the only person who’s responsible for my own feelings whatever they are it is a matter of somebody says something to you that’s true or not or whatever it is I get to choose how I feel about everything absolutely that’s one of the Four Agreements Don Miguel Ruiz Four Agreements don’t take things to do your best dentist that take things personally and celebration I have for you so I think this was a good intro and I think too kind of I’d like to just give you one more sort of topic to explore for now and then we can leave it also is a bit of a cliffhanger we can come back I think there’s a lot of stuff more to unpack future episodes so I think that would be good to just have to have this be the very beginning intro kind of introduction to to your pear diamond and I appreciate this is a gold mine this is that I feel like you’re this is such a like I found the end of the rainbow here this is this treasure all about is is beyond I don’t even have words for it I mean I listen to your podcast for a really long time you know any what you know and then we ended up messaging somewhere along the line and I’m just saying is that I’m very thankful that I got to connect with you just just even sending you a note that one time or whatever it’s just all these things that we’ve had I’ve always enjoyed them seriously thank you I mean I know and I can I listen to your show and I know the time of people that you have on all the time for me to be part of this I mean even just one time is is really cool for me to be able to share this stuff with you with you and and everyone who listens to you so I just want to say thanks again I’m super super green food you’re welcome and thank you and if they have mutual honor him and blessing and I would say yeah the thing that’s on my mind for you know something soon to refund a bit now before we close for this this first episode we something that is the sort of throws a monkey wrench into the the very elegant logic that we have worked together here to kind of layout in Spanish of the sizes is what I would I have explored is is sort of the how to be accountable and responsible and ethical with the desire to pursue or seduce someone in the how that well you were sexually stimulating yourself and fantasizing about a sexual outcome with a potential partner that there is like for me I have a sort of framework work checklist where where I do want to have some clear intention in and released released that monitor my vibration around the energy and certainly of the conduct my own conduct in the Fantasy Realm because it is I believe a a a karmic casino to be fantasizing sexually and so you got to be with what are your thoughts on that can be it’s murky territory when we look at what’s the difference between it all that well the grace World of Magic here so we have please take away about what the intention as you know see if you see incredible person whether that be attached that’s that’s usually the person you want to buy what is the most important question is he this and it hit me the right way whatever it is you know like I said that’s really really ask yourself why practice is a bunch a lot of different things are where they are on a spiritual level you know versus someone who isn’t that all I mean to did you did you have liked it with your question were you thinking more about someone who is more open and spiritually aware or in touch with you know themselves and everything around them or are you speaking of just sort of like more social let me have I guess I’ll share with you a little bit of a little bit of intimate details about how I solely what year is this to me I feel like this I very very rarely use pornography of any kind as the visual aid or stimulant for myself because you know when I was a lot younger and a lot hornier and a lot less sophisticated spiritually I would say if I dare say then he was just fodder but the thing is what I and I was also jaculating constantly without any so and that was because of the Paradigm that that I was them at that that area of acid images of human consciousness in the West the surface ship that we’ve talked about before it right so that said to me that what I like what I know now if I would have known then what I know now I would have said to myself to have a practice more like what I have now wishes to Safeway when I fantasize about a future sexual encounter it really has got to actually in my mind be a very plausible realistic potential outcome with someone who is it is accessible by some believe with me and so I’m not really jerking off to dead people and I only brought enough to movie stars and people who unless I really really believe that what I want to do is structure my destiny to encounter them and have us have a mutual Very sensual erotic Mutual exchange I don’t really waste my Prada I don’t waste my see that as my Jing I’m not going to spill my seed in where to put a spell that has really no it’s not really a meritorious or whatever the word will be it doesn’t really it’s not part of my destiny so and this is just me kind of putting my thoughts into the into the original question for Texas is that I feel like the I would either they’re up there are people there are always a list of people who I’m attracted to in my life who are in weed ovarian degrees of proximity to me and in Space the time I suppose but maybe hey sup maybe some of them are are in committed monogamous relationships and therefore I’m also risking the the karmic consequences of of like astral home-wrecking by have a responsibility in that situation is just about being responsible on a sexual and a spiritual and in a personal level and in on a friendship level if that’s where it is too you know I mean I I’ve had experiences with other with other people before and even if it’s going to be a one-time thing from for me or for us or for whatever it is I’m very clear with one wants if that makes sense I don’t just let somebody why don’t open the door. Not physically but you know what I mean just open open the door and let them walk in and when wander around you know I’d I’d like to say okay look you know I am and I’m really really Frank here I have told you guys before it’s like look you know in my mind I’m going okay I know this is probably be like a one-time thing doesn’t happen all that often or it happened all that often but I would say with hey look I’m not looking for pornsex I’m not looking to get off like I want to actually have sex with an nnn if you don’t know what that means you know really that I can cut if you’re willing if you’re willing I can kind of show you a different way of going out this an interesting really super clear that’s where that double fucking Scorpio comes in you know I just I can’t lie and I’m very very very direct and I will say that in my experience I have it’s been it’s been really fine with that and sometimes it’s been really great or like let’s say you know you end up meeting somebody and there’s a connection there’s a little bit of a friendship and then it goes there sexually and then you realize that’s okay I don’t want to be in a committed thing with you or I’m not you know any in a space where I could be in a relationship whether you want to or not that’s just you know what it is to be able to be emotionally irresponsible not to yourself and accountability to the other person as well and yourself I want to have a really good hopefully intense on whatever level sexual experience with somebody that’s problem with most men is that most people I would say in general but they’re just so used to getting off by using corn by using this by using whatever and I just I feel like it when you get it really really really in tune with yourself you’re going back to say it with what you were saying like I just don’t want to spill my seed and then wasted I I feel the same way but at the same time like there have been several times were the sex that I have with my boyfriend my actual partner is incredible and it just keeps getting better and better and better and sometimes I mean we don’t set out for this but like it will end up coming like six times over you know some hours or whatever it is and it’s like holyfuck like Jesus Christ and then you know it’s almost like that sort of Monex states where you just had sex had nowhere you everything just is talking to you the leaves it wasn’t just getting off you guys were able to connect on levels where you really took each other separately and together to other places I mean this I have had some experience with this man his name is Johnny Ray he’s he’s really seriously the best person I’ve ever been with I’ve never been with anybody like him he has experience in the matter with him have been just utterly mind-blowingly shocking in a really good way swear he’s actually aided me in seeing certain things while doing sex magick and while doing some other stuff like that I’d like that I actually saw even though my eyes were closed I saw these things I went places you know really interesting and I took a long time to kind of develop but like I I I don’t know I I find again I just think that like you don’t you just say you have to really be responsible but it do whatever is right for you is what I’m saying like I said if if you’re if you’re in a situation where if it feels right that that you’re going to come again then go for it you know if you can try that you don’t try to do all that cuz that’s because it makes the experience more intense and there’s so much more than just like I said then getting off you know another program to do and and there are a lot of times to ejaculate at all and still have an equally razee go to experience you know a lot of full body in touch with your actual magic right there you know well I think on that note I don’t think we could end on a better a better note in a better place to conclude I think that really is a great a great introduction and this is this smoking hot material and I can’t wait to to keep exploring I’m more of this and zooming into various aspects so for now we’ll see it are there any specific ways that you would like listen this to reach out to you how can I go get a nice haircut it’s the same it’s Mike Bonner hair so m i k e b o n n e r and then hair hair at gmail.com on Instagram I do tarot readings to I don’t claim the psychic I’m not really really really try to connect with people on listen to them that’s what I try to do this first and foremost well I got to say it has been an absolute treat and Prejudice is like such a bicycle synchronistic to be able to just have this Pockets out there than have it find people and then and then all the sudden we’re we’re already talking when you’re adding a lot to to this this archive this is sort of the akashic record that I’m not curious to hear so thank you so much again and I look forward to next time I will yeah everybody have sweet and sweet dreams and a good prayers and magic spells and we will help keep each other accountable and responsible and also remember that intention with everything just intense so important did all right all right I will take you with you Google talk to you so I would actually like to share and I now just thinking of it I have an example of a personal and almost perfect example of a white magick manifestation which will then I’ll create a ritual around this that’ll be done free for a year basically starts in November that’s the the month I was born and so for me not on the same calendar as everybody else when they do their resolutions and all that kind of stuff you know in January I mean frankly it just doesn’t mean anything to me November my birth my own personal earlier anyhow having said that I have been working on just trying to manifest and think about him focused a lot of energy on what I want out of this coming year and sometimes it happens before November sometimes it happens during and and this time it took a couple months and so anyhow I woke up yesterday morning and the first thing on my mind was what I heard was this is just the beginning and I have I just move back to LA from being out in the deserts the high desert in Southern California for the last two years I needed a break from everything the city in and then what not and are all the noise and everything that comes and goes around it that clutters us up so I went out to the desert and a long story short I really needed to clear a lot of things Within Myself And also physically all that all my environment you know that is so beautiful and quiet and pretty desolate out there but it’s booming with life you know you sit there for just start looking and listening and you can just literally see everything breathing, there is a lot of movement actually I’m in that Stillness so when I had woke up yesterday that that raise this is just the beginning was really really strong in my head and the next one was come to life on my desk and just wrote what was coming out so and manifestation for the year which is so cool how that happened yeah I was I was actually kind of Blown Away by it at the end of it just because I felt like I’d gotten such a good I don’t know I guess I connected with a part of myself and I really listened to to to whatever it is or whatever they were trying to say to me in an hour or whether it was part of me as well I don’t know the point is that it’s I feel really really great and humbled that it came out so I’m just going to read you what what this sort of white magick manifestation isn’t this is just the beginning come to life it is the real you that speaks through your rebellious Sacred Heart in this living your life not the monkey mind the mind is not much more than a swirling canopy of Habitual reactions your monkey mind is not to run the show at the moment it might have a lot to say and at times it seems very convincing but it’s not the one in charge remember are three different brands one that had drained brain scuse me the mines brain which I like to also call once again the Periscope with the feeding tube attached that brain is responsible for logic and reason number two are other brain is the heart the heart brain you know the heart responsible for our emotions the death of things and our reactions to things I believe is Our God’s are intuition brain I believe it’s also very Primal and Saul so it didn’t stink you know I’m going to focus on the hearts and intuition brain and remember to the monkey brain rest gets us into trouble and the additional thoughts and creative and energetic Awakening is happening it is so far beyond what the mind is now capable of controlling others might not like it because it means change coming to life tends to do that however it is now and the only real choice I have to make is how to deal with it coming to life means feeling treating the space and just doing it don’t hold back and this process I will uncover the Artistry of the universal Creator and creators I will honor the sacredness of Life by exploring it without restraint and that includes the flow of my feelings I don’t have to do anything with them other than Express them learning how to access feeling allows you to learn how to access intuition creative inspiration and internal guidance I have chosen to come into a body and live consciously within it even in times of pain know and trust that there will be also ecstasy and Bliss as the process of healing and Awakening continues the message is be alive there’s no going back no falling into old ways I have crossed the threshold from an old way of being in an old life and try as I might I cannot return besides it won’t be the same as it used to griever celebrate do both move on there’s a new adventure awaiting me now and I want even deeper connection to my own instincts my body feelings intuition magic and everything I will trust and embrace it and it will trust and embrace me in return. Calm and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition of sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple at provide ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episode if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com

Responsible Psychedelic Sexuality with Leia Friedman and Matt Hollander TPP168

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Leia and Matt Pic

In this episode I’m joined by a lovely couple for a round table discussion on responsible psychedelic sexuality.

We discuss:

  • our personal approaches to consenting psychedelic self pleasuring practices with ourselves
  • how and when psychedelics and other sacred plants are appropriate for them in their relationship
  • the shadow of alcohol and hard drugs
  • patterns of unconscious sexuality of the punk movement
  • sexuality in the neo-hippie subculture
  • the shadow of guru worship
  • cults around spiritual leaders
  • student/teacher sexual dynamics
  • exploitation of followers
  • predatory behavior patterns in ayahuasca communities
  • the dangers of free love
  • ego and peer pressure
  • corruption of those taking money for sexual healing or spiritual guidance
  • patient/client dating time delay requirements
  • examples in other professional sectors of ethics and code of conduct standards
  • sexual political economy
  • boundaries around involving state authorities in restorative justice
  • Psychedelic Patriarchy video
  • incident denial when survivors come out
  • creating supportive space
  • reporting incidents of abuse by emailing: hello [at] psychedelicwomen.com
  • the role of trained mediators
  • can sociopaths be rehabilitated?
  • calling out celebrities
  • accountability, hide or be accountable
  • admitting when wrong
  • the no more hiding now project
  • the logic and morality of triage in emergency response
  • standard operating procedures trained and drilled as a form of preparedness
  • sharing tools for building incident response social infrastructure
  • grey areas of consent
  • potential for redemption of perpetrators through service work
  • personal hard lessons with sexual misconduct
  • functional and dysfunctional investigations
  • gossip, drama, telephone games
  • appropriate scrutiny of public figures
  • compassion for those who’ve fallen from grace
  • the shadow of shunning and displacing perps
  • harm reduction, success stories
  • shamanic ceremonial healing for perps and ex-cons
  • when survivors aren’t ready to bring it to light
  • how people take sides, defend perps, and subvert advocates
  • asking the victim what they need
  • not assuming you know how/when you should apologies
  • consent in the process of justice
  • How Psychedelics Informed My Sex Life and Sex Work by Annie Sprinkle:

About Leia:
Leia Friedman, M.S. is a teacher, writer, and connectress. She is the cofounder of Boston Entheogenic Network, host of the podcast “The Psychedologist: consciousness positive radio,” the integration resource list volunteer coordinator for MAPS, and a permaculturalist. Her work focuses on phenomena related to the human experience of consciousness through the lens of social and environmental justice. Leia is exploring ways to bridge the diverse and multidimensional intersections of psychedelics and ecology while residing at Happy Acres Farm in Sherman, CT.

About Matt:
Matt hollander is one of the founders of BEN the boston entheogenic network, a psychonaut and the singer of the boston hardcore punk band ancient filth. He is interested in the intersection of radical politics psychedelics and non duality.

Please check out their projects:
https://thepsychedologist.libsyn.com/
https://www.facebook.com/nomorehidingnow
https://www.facebook.com/groups/bentheogenic/
https://ancientfilth.bandcamp.com/

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast episode number 168 this is going to be a very interesting and enlightening episode I’m joined by Leah Friedman who is the psychologist and she is an adjunct professor of psychology a psychedelic Advocate and permaculture list among many other wonderful beautiful and amazing things that we will learn all about shortly and also one of her Partners in in life and in love and his name is Matt Hollander and he is a psycho nut punk rocker opening bands for 15 years currently the frontman of ancient filth is that correct and he’s been booking shows and doing events and also helped start the Boston and Thea genic Network very interested in the intersection of radical politics and Consciousness and freedom of Consciousness so to give a little bit of background before we get all started with this there was a recent psychedelic Symposium conference in Los Angeles and I felt like I normally would be all over attending but I had some some duties I had to attend to and I felt like you know I feel like I may be at a higher point of Leverage to just connect with some of the presenters look at the people representing and see what they’re talking about and then maybe fine folks of interest to invite on the podcast rather than go and and actually be there in person and kind of broke my heart that I wasn’t there but then I just felt like you know something good will come out of it and this I need the results of that was looking into some of the things going on around that around that event and in the movement and I wanted to check in to this phenomenon of there being sort of research and resources around collecting testimonials about sexual misconduct from psychedelic shamanic practitioners whether they be doing a sort of time for type work or sexual healing type work Hands-On work involving some some psychedelic medicines or just people who are in the second ochimana community and their basic Authority and power than maybe you know consciously or unconsciously of using and misusing in sexual ways and Dynamics and certainly just how patriarchy which is the backdrop to everything how that how that infects and Ben poisons even our best intentions in ceremonies and in communities so a lot to how about that is so you know really what we talked about as the shadow work and you know in and sacred sexuality the shadow work is is uncomfortable but necessary to to deal with and also add two cities are the slipperiest of slopes for sure for sure for certain in psychedelic work and in sexual sexually works I’m always thrilled to have conversations that further this discourse and get people who are her passion in about these issues and then I can’t I can’t think these two folks enough for being so and residents with my personal background were talking about my favorite things punk rock and theologians permaculture you know what what more do you need to peel and save so maybe that’s what we should call Us episode but yeah we’re really doing our best here I would say and it’s just been a blessing to connect and we’ve had some fun some fun talks leading up to this and what we’re going to attempt to do is just have a bit of a round table and this is I think the first time I’ve done this and also it’s a blessing because he is going to on her podcast the second ologies podcast is going to rebroadcast or we could even call it like a punk rock style split 7 in released and I favorite kind of thing so so that was my my typical exhaustive intro and now I’m going to turn it over to Leah to address the audience of her podcasts and we’ll give her it to the floor to introduce well usually to start off my episodes I just I have an introduction which they’re all make an introduction before this so everyone on my show just heard the introduction and I go this is bent on truck say hi that’s really all I do So High by and say hi I am my name is Ben Lawson I go by the name Tantra punk as a stage name and I am your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment and you can find out a lot more about what all that means at Central Park. Com where I have a podcast and I create educational instructional videos and sacred trance dance music and I also come from a long history in the punk rock and metal movement and I have been in numerous bands and him sort of reconciling all this stuff in my at my personal life and professional life and I and I would say that to a degree I am a somewhat semi-professional practicing sexual shamanic practitioner with certain credentials to my name of being a certified Tantra counselor Under the Tent request School in San Diego and I’m also a certified permaculture designer and a lot of other Badges of Honor I suppose along the way but I’m doing my best to stay in service and to stay as humble as possible and integrate as much input from other people because we’re really talking about some of the the slippery of slopes doing this kind of work and I’m so I’m here to kind of be roasted in a way I think I’m open to being roast Temp and life and also to just explore all of our different experiences so yeah so what are you mad do you want to talk a bit about yourself and give us more of your background then we can all kind of kick get going at Hollander GTA has been working with anxiety I’ve also been in the punk rock scene in Boston for around the same amount of time to play Radical politics and non-duality and just trying to understand what is the score find my place in this crazy world we live in if your network of Boston group that brings together people from all talk about how do you spell experiences and support and he can go and and talking where do we hear your band ancient filth on music is on on the bandcamp for free to listen to download and yeah I’ll survive lyrics I got the lyrics vs you would be so kind as to step into the matriarch roll for as long as you’d like you can kind of set us up and start to dry out you know what is most present for for you and your thinking around these topics and then you know I feel like we can just go from there if you’re comfortable with that I would think that’d be great, I mean I can lead I don’t think we have to gender it in this case. I’ve been thinking a lot about consent lately and people in the community ourselves building up our ability to understand what is the S and what is know and I think it’s particularly relevant in altered state it’s obviously relevant in sexual play in sexual experiencing even with the self just that idea of giving yourself consent to go on a personal experience is something I may never have considered but I think that is a practice we should all look at so I think any conversation about sexuality and psychedelics especially those two together have to start with consent and I don’t know I mean been like if we want to do this as just kind of a conversation maybe we could start with talking about that maybe we just talking about what it feels like to be neurotic self-exploration on drugs and no one can tell you that you’re not telling the truth you know no one can no one can contend with it if it’s your own private experience so actually last night I would say I just was coming right off of a of a pretty profound Journey myself so maybe I can do a little bit if I can slam poetry how does that sound when should we start from yeah what you’re saying the very very very rude of consent being a very personal personal thing right yeah yeah let’s start with you and then see where that leads to I think you’re a little on are integration why not what could go wrong I’ve been given permission by the the Hindu Tantra goddess Kali to kiss and tell and she’s definitely a very probably type of creature and loves all the other goddesses and what likes to watch me play with other goddesses in the human and non-human forms and whatnot but I always feel like by coming down from mushrooms with your my drug of choice I feel like I having to face the mundane world and get back into traffic and get back into J jobs all that stuff it’s always a step down from the glory of being in Union with worth it yeah they the sexy dark Goddess that that has been invoked in the jungles of throughout India for since time immemorial mean for going back twenty thousand years at least in the archaeological record the indigenous Pagan hunter-gatherers have been celebrating the the Earth mother goddess and and certainly discovering and playing with the erotic forms and really having a lot of magical ritual involved with that so as a as a white boy in the American West and the 21st century it’s you know the way that I’ve encountered her is been quite an adventure and I would say it’s it’s the if if there is one thing I’m here to do its to correct the history in the Indiana Jones Temple of Doom movie where he goes to school he goes to a Kali Temple and they get it all wrong and it’s all backwards cuz instead of liberating children and slaying demons she is the demoness goddess whose enslaving and saving children and corrupting everyone the only thing they did get right about that movie is that and I’ve had to think about it a lot because it is considered by Hindu Orthodox Hindu Kali worshippers who are worshipping a very demure and very domesticated form of the goddess in temples throughout India and then in homes now they’ve stripped a lot of the wild sexual nature away from her but even the most yeah but there’s a huge backlash of that movie amongst amongst them Orthodox Hindu Kali worshippers because it’s so offensive and so I such a colonized view of the Goddess but what’s what’s so what I found so interesting after studying their critique of that movie that film and after watching it again I realize wait a minute there is a deeper truth that they were conveying here without even knowing it and a lot of Kali worship say all is mAh meaning that even the door even the most Sinister things about her inner nature and you know people out there to sociopath psychopath if you’d look at them as teachers and you know at some level they just need to have the demon whisper come in and tickle tickle the demons out of them so that they can be activated into the light and there’s like a deeper love story of transformation that’s involved in this but if you watch that movie again you will notice us deeper deeper critique that they are offering is that the reason this with all went awry and that the thuggee cult emerge to practice you know they were basically thieves who were worshipping the goddess and trying to extract magical powers from her in a perverted and corrupted way doing human sacrifice and now it really was the problem with that whole picture is that it was all male priests and they they wedged the female priestesses out of the Pagan spirituality of psychedelic goddess worship and they replaced it with the Brahmin is stick hierarchical empire building male priest lead only the priests could speak the language and write the words and they they pushed the feminine out of the goddess and can’t even believe what they did but you see it it’s like oh yeah it’s it’s all men doing this Puja ritual where they’re sacrificing people that’s the problem now if I can come back and bring my love story with the goddess to you know eventually bring Harrison Ford to the Kali temple in Laguna Beach for him to bow down and meet the goddess then we can redo that script and and I’ll be happy to continue that Legacy and in the right way and show her and her Grandma Lori said that’s that’s for the best that is divided that I’m rolling off of after being in Union with the guys last night and I don’t know what that means and he has no one but it’s just yeah I’m doing my best to just go with the stream-of-consciousness oh yeah that’s my that’s my contribution to the self-loving Psychedelic critical component of this convo I feel like it’s a great pitch for like a Trippy porn and I think we should roll with it if it was a joke but it was Indiana Jones and the Temple of poon ticket downtown okay I need to shut up now please next to the same thing and maybe you want to share what were you thinking I did I just have an amazing experience on LSD and MDMA where I was I was there to pleasure it and can you tell us more cat sounds like you’re going to MIT you’re going to do a remake of Stargate with Kurt Russell definitely made my mouth 35th and having the world come all over my face a giant waterfall they don’t call it the Milky Way for nothing right yeah I said once someone and someone ask me actually Rak razam who is highly esteem shamanic facilitator and documentarian end in a conversation about this kind of stuff that we had in the previous podcast know he asked me once he’s like how do you know that Kylie is not a demon how do you know that she’s not disguised in some way and I’m like well the proof’s in the pudding man I mean it’s the samadhi the Bliss that you didn’t you just you feel like you’re on the spin cycle in the cosmic Yoni and you know you feel is so all right how are you so are we ready for Lissa testimonial confessions I hope a lot of Catholic listening in the confession Booth of it’s like the opposite of profane as it gets when it comes to psychedelic trippy and Wild As It Gets for me is I just completely become a plant and I don’t know maybe plants they must have sexual feelings actually with those beautiful flowers that they produce to get bees and pollinators to come inside and pickle them and gather their Harris Teeter their dust or whatever but I haven’t had much sexual fantasy in trip but I know that you know I’ve I’ve struggled I have thrived I mean I’ve gone through my entire life with body dysmorphia and this is like some of my oldest memories of being in a body are dysmorphic of kind of like a wrenched image of myself in this form and when I took LSD for the first time and most times that I’ve taken it afterward I had a sense of being like free and and yet like inhabiting and grounded in my body if that makes sense like being free from it but also like being bully in it and I have worked with that sense because this is what I think is unique in that empty a genic or the altered Consciousness experiences like the ability to access that state of thinking afterward is only just as remembering what it felt like to be that way you can’t necessarily call it in all the time but it’s like the the roads are the roads have been traveled once before I like the the neuronal pathways have at least been touched and so tapping back into that I’ve had a lot of sexual Liberation do do psychedelic experiences of of inhabiting my for more of like of the embodiment so that that’s what I would say to the point I think it is my ability to receive and to be in pleasure comfortably has definitely been helped by psychedelics that’s very interesting and you have a psychology background so I feel like it’s sacrilege to even invoked his name but because you’re a psychologist you would be very familiar with this like what what I hear you describing his brain gives me flashbacks to the brief study of Freud that I had to do in anthropology it was like kind of a sidebar in that in that training but I remember distinctly and it’s kind of triggered by what you’re saying this you know there’s there’s not a whole lot honestly that I agree with you about his is DC to species but one thing that does ring true to me is that notion that sexuality begins before puberty and it’s about just pleasure in the body and how you discover that like I used to play with my belly button and it used to just give me the surges of of overwhelming arrows that no one around me could figure out but it didn’t seem you know cut the logical just seemed like a is better than cartoons why not in that would be a form of self-expression and discovery of a Rosetti that kind of like you’re saying if you know the money. She doesn’t have to be genital Focus doesn’t have to be about friction fucking with somebody or something and can be about inhabiting and feeling deeply into the sensuousness of your whole being and that sounds like a great a great kind of approach to it is that is that ring a bell for you and we want to go off of that with your bring it into the lens of psychology osher yeah well I do think that as that we are sexual beings from the beginning and end part of part of our sexuality I think of a place by the cultural climate that were raised in and what most of which is sex negative unless you’re in some kind of countercultural family or our you’re just not as much as I think to be encouraged to discover and self pleasure yourself or like sexual play among children is almost always frowned upon and and preventing I’m not necessarily advocating for that because there’s like a Content issue again kind of go back to it but then again when gauging in sexual play with little friends that I had when I was five six little other little girls and little boys and or like to close do you know that I understood my boundaries enough to only do things that felt comfortable to me but I think what you’re asking about the experiencing of pleasure I think like there’s a there’s all these different droppers to pleasure for me there can be right like being in a place that but doesn’t feel like the right setting for her pleasure that kind of like Stoppers my ability to experience it or list of things on my mind that I have to attend to like gets in the way of feeling turned on above Like Loving what’s going on and then another thing that would get in the way is body dysmorphia so to be able to access the sense of embodiment with Timmy with useful sexually because allow me to like unstopper the flow of treasury note the to take off the reducing valve for the the sensations that are possible your asthma is sexual partner not feel free to us well that question as soon as we’ve been together and we’ve been exploring a lot of these issues of the you know definitely let you know cuz I you know I think you know like I know most amazing thing in the world and I and so it’s really amazing to be able to you know do you know gorgeous and and really help them come into their body and it’s just it’s such an amazing thing for both of us to experience something like that and do you know but anyway. So you don’t even need a permit you don’t need a license what’s the powerful sex worker goddesses that I’ve ever met she is such a a heroin to me in one of the things that she said which is so apropos this conversation is that she would like to say this the sort of bit of wisdom she had and she basically said you know you can it’s legal for you to go down to a gun shop and buy a gun but you can’t buy my pussy that’s how powerful my pussy is you can buy something but if you go to the Hampshire pretty soon you’re going to be able to buy both with your favorite cryptocurrency so I know that’s funny letter fireworks from liquor stores that are you staying out of that is so great I am so there I’ve had I’ve had enough with everything I just said and I even thought of how it would be nice I like what you said this is important to to know what you said about you we do need those winter months to actually heal and until it’s I feel like the people are running on such hyperdrive in LA because there aren’t it feels like there’s really no season so there’s no introspection there’s no self-reflection there’s no getting close with the family or with the Beloved at it with the land you know being a part of those Cycles so I really do feel like I probably I probably fall in love so much that I won’t care to leave so even if it’s freezing cold because I’ll be around the campfire you know I’ll be around if you know this the the wood stove or whatever maybe so I know it’s gorgeous and it’s so cute really you’re the season Majestic earlier today and not because of smog smog 6% Caucasian but that was a bit of a culture shock for sure Caucasian it turned out which is which also further to the stigma of the same kind of like if there is such a thing as middle class in Hollywood now I feel driving I guess it depends on who’s driving I got there in four and a half but you can get all of the action all of the food everything I could to make sense to to be posted up legally in New Hampshire for so many reasons and then I can imagine it I kind of imagined that it would be the Vegas or or like you’re saying but I’m surprised that there isn’t a more of a booming adult Production Studio house industry given that you could it’s it’s bad. It sounds like it’s about as far as away is Vegas and everyone fled to Vegas when the the kind of life started taking enforceable effects in the LA County area so that’s a question I have for you is it you know if you’ve been following the the regulation around and this sort of the big money the big money clinical groups who are trying to shut down the street on the health but with the health department as a sort of there their battering ram into the industry I’m curious in New Hampshire are they is it is there any specifications from the health department or health code that that are trying to set the rules for the industry for the porn industry there it is it is the Wild Wild West out here we are more people more to join you know start producing they would have to try to regulate but I don’t know if they would because I really don’t think they would I adhere to the same you know guidelines as as far as testing goes the only difference is I need to get tested we we provide them with testing we make sure everyone we we go through this last we have this very detailed checklist I think it was inspired by Nikki Benz and if possible the only difference is we’re not paying Los Angeles or Las Vegas free small company but you know we talked about splitting, according Talent from Vegas and Los Angeles and you know kind of responsibility regulating type of business you just have to have trust that all people are you know I’m doing the right thing around that is because yeah I think that I think like Outlets sexually here you know I said you know if you will actually liberated place like you know I even thought about you some Leaf peeping directed in the professional studio shoot up or down with your spouse just that sounds like a great guy honestly before you even were saying this stuff I could I was just it was a premonition that you would be talking about this because I I just felt like you were going to probably end up working in some capacity with the Chamber of Commerce of wherever whatever region or whatever sort of municipality or me to Sally’s and actually help that like what you’re you can’t you know you can’t afford your Public Works projects you know your new parks are being closed down for whatever reason well here we got the screws it’s going to be amazing yeah I can see it now and start building and I’m almost filling my gas tank to start driving out there right now I can of gas its people have been wanting you know it’s been it’s been on my not just a to-do list but actually really it’s it’s it’s the lot a lot of the stuff is is I can see it happening and also I I I want to if it’s not already being taken for some other obviously a worthy cause I feel like the love Free or Die state is going to be the hashtag that I talk to Subway to get a handle on that it’s all you it’s you if you can take that and run with it if she if it works but I feel like that’s good it’s the best I feel like you have a lot of love but I like a lot of love yeah I know I feel it I feel I feel you said you were a Healer and you seem you seem like very empathetic yeah this won’t this to me you know all of the trauma that I have witnessed that I’ve experienced ice I can imagine that this is would be a place for people that veteran died literally I mean you know they call it in the adult industry we say that you’re a civilian if you’re not in front of you in if you’re not in front of the camera and doing the stuff for on the street or wherever you’re a civilian and so if that’s the case which I really truly believe it is then we need to have VA programs in hospitals in a note and benefits and we’re doing a public service for helping living out everyone’s fantasies for them if they don’t have the courage or the resources to make them happen so for that I like to be treated with this much if not you know as much love and respect and dignity and resources as veterans violence and brutality in Warfare civilians is military yeah that’s cool yeah and we aren’t we aren’t we know we were lying about reliving some sort of childhood, it wasn’t about servitude or Surrender sometimes it was just the process to the session would be the process to get to the Aftercare to get to that hug to get to that approval of being told you did a good job you know and when I realize that I thought there’s so much more I’ve actually I’ve had plenty of clients for a while there it was kind of weird they were widows widowers their wearers like I was attacking little words that were in various ways and people don’t understand that Sexual Energy can be incredibly therapeutic and healing you know when there’s something fundamentally wrong with that especially you know I mean now I mean Dairy mention you know I mean every day and I just kept having these handmade in handmaid’s tale things going through my mind and and now to be apart of Swap and to be keto on the inside track knowing what’s going on with this legislation here to decriminalize effort I am filled with hope and love all over again no more despair or fear I feel like this could really I meant to be alive right now at this time and to be here and now in this state I feel very very honored and lucky absolutely why I feel very honored and lucky that we are having this conversation you were exactly the voice of the representative that I wanted to find and connect with its in this is really an amazing amazing invigorating conversation and I just I just want to thank you again so much and you know we’ve got a little bit of time left I think we covered most of what I was super excited and looking forward to discussing I guess I would like to ask if you want to talk about the kind of support that you need from people in the area from people abroad people anywhere in the world listening to this but what what do you need to help your chapter really get to the to the point where were you have all your dreams are coming true and you know you have the people power and the skill sets what were you what are your pain points and what do you need so that that can just be put out there and it is a prayer absolutely absolutely awesome and I’m sex worker Outreach project is a nonprofit we do accept donations we accept recurring donations donations I mean just to be an ally to a sex worker to be supportive and you know aware that their work is real work and emotionally laboring work to know the sex work as a form of emotional and physical labor and that nobody story is is representative of all sex where you know and I think that the presence of sex workers in social movement come together and try to fight this and you have to fight what gone but it is a tubal refuse up sex workers bank accounts and it’s happened the money seems suspicious that’s unacceptable yeah yeah that’s you that’s the way to to bypass So Many Factors whether it’s the pimp violence or the banks or the state or even Amazon not wanting your wishlist to be you know used for compensation whatever it is the terms that you have to been in bed will I have to say that the my biggest public service announcement for anybody that might be in your network who listens to this is that I really hope that anyone listening who is a sex worker who has the u.s. exposed to these Financial choke point issues invest time in studying the whole cryptocurrency movement starting with Bitcoin and in aetherium but but you can accelerate that process if you start to look into joining the platform of spankchain which is bringing together all of the activism all of the the really Advanced cryptocurrency solutions for being your own bank literally being your own bank where you have peer-to-peer Financial transactions you can sell they will be yeah they will be providing a lot of solutions for the industry and for the producers and performers to be empowered independently and off the rails of the money system we don’t need to do our dirty work without your dirty Fiat is how I feel McGregor’s Outreach project we have like a meme donation thing you can donate cooked difference NFL Karma Dakshin and and how how sex workers are the difference between trafficking educate yourself some people have been looking for what seems like an ideal future to me or all of the the glory and the beauty of the healing in the transformation that is possible and also the the sort of in the streets marches and the activism going to take to get there and a couple of I guess you’re silly but up at the memes have come to me and one is it you know people I remember chanting in the streets protesting Wars and logging and you all kinds of pollution would not the people we would always chant whose streets are our streets and I can hear this echoing Cruise sheets are seeds coming out with our seats and then you can also got allies and civilians involved right thing that ever since I started looking into it swapped but I’ve ever felt like we’ll all of the the Financial Funding necessary to do real political work lobbying in legislation and all that stuff I feel like there’s got to be a way to solicit the the buyers of sex work the purchasers of the material that the funeral of the client’s right of the clients are you so mean maybe PornHub can put a donate button to swap you know somewhere I mean set stuff like that I would love to see the financing for all of the stuff that you have in your bucket list of dreams to make come true for this industry and for this movement that that the money if the people who can afford to pay for their further their fetish or for their experience or for their media everybody and you know what I mean I come from the the green business Eco business startup kind of seen in in LA and it was a no-brainer that you would want to launch your startup having a dollar of every purchase or a percentage of your purpose so that you could have the the pr potential of putting out press releases were you talk about how you give back as a social impact or I mean even PornHub has done a lot of cool stuff like that and I don’t mean to keep harping on them but because they’re the biggest conglomerate really that the industry absolutely and you know that they’re behind them right that I was either going to let my contact continue to be over there in cream to the channel myself because it because you know we can continue and have more follow-ups to this conversation but I certainly would love to explore some of your insights in the industry and I have some yes yeah I wanted to add you know how that Whole Foods you know if you have to you have to be a squeaky wheel gets the grease and House of weird that you were is this is thrilling to me I know that there’s a there’s worse things in the world than having pornstars solicit you on your doorstep like door-to-door canvassing for help me on Monday to take your singing telegrams you know what the my name is you could use the conservative rhetoric against him and say we’re here to clean up the adult industry sign here and give us a check what do you mean well I know where else next workers never would never when they used to pack meat and the muckrakers had to blow the whistle and that’s how we have ratio any conservative how do I I subscribed to say the r word regulation but I will say any sort of public outcry about working conditions that’s all we need you know and Industry within the industry of people like you who know what performers need what the issues are and can represent that and it’s not coming top down it’s not coming from you know sideswiping from weird organizations with too much money trying to push agendas where they don’t belong and some people know what I’m talking about there and some people don’t but it’s what they did with the keywords you know trafficking of course people wanted to sign off on that piece of aeon I support you know anti-trafficking laws of course I do and so what we could do is we could eat give them a dose of their own medicine like you said hi we’re going to clean up your industry and fine hair like that cuz that’s how they do so many things when they say you know that people don’t read the fine print when they when they sign initiatives to get on the ballot you know they read the sort of sensationalist headline that skews the facts to some moral kind of you get boxed in Morley by the by the by the headline of whatever it is and so that it’s it’s like appealing to logical fallacies for anyone to want to do that but yeah I mean this is really it’s actually truly the holiest and most most sort of medic there’s there’s a way for all of the people to I mean excellent performers have the legal space to do this right then then the medical aspect will I think it’s going to naturally organically become a safer environment if you’re not having to be underground in the hide from you know the the filming commission and fucking cops and at the neighbors and you could actually have facilities that work up Captain staff and you know and fungus were like just clean to the places I mean that’s what people say about the all of those secondary crime things that go along with Vice and things being underground and the black market economy you know if when you when you legalize drugs all of those secondary cramps go away and so this is a war on sex and we need to end the war on drugs and the war on sex and these problems will sell themselves in the free market so it’s going to happen New Hampshire you know get ready full medical benefits of cannabis right and I’m actually is for you I think what will happen is that is that is that the Cheeto person will get a reverse gangbang by a bunch of Tantra see the goddess and he will want to transform United States into one giant orgiastic goddess Temple to heal the planet from all the patriarchy that’s my that’s my vote I’m going to put that are you trying to turn me on now I try I try not to but sometimes I can’t help it it just happens thank you for that well yeah so we it’s been one of the most delightful hours of my life at sharing this time with you and I’d like to ask you now to give us the links to everything that you want to share and that you’re involved with and close this out with some final words calls-to-action slogans from the front lines whatever you like to share please take your time. Thank you it’s been an honor and I’m I’m I’m pretty sure my cheeks are going to hurt from smiling too so that’s as wot USA. O r g basically you where you can find me I just would like to do everything I can and vegetation Security building in Albuquerque beautiful thank you awesome alright I see well yeah let’s let’s call it a podcast and let’s be in touch and I will I will be in touch again very soon thank you so much and have a wonderful evening. Smiley and you’re coming over here thank you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition of sustaining and improving the podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com Thomas Day