In this episode I’m humbled and blessed to be able to explore the raw realness of a wombyn of color struggling to navigate and resist patriarchy, white male privilege, and mono-normative love and relationship styles. My new heroine sheds light on many of the shadows of injustice that she has faced and fought throughout her life and her journey as an independent mother.
She shares about the beauty and magnificence of her natural home birth and the incredible role her doula played in the process. She makes a call out for support of her efforts to study the birth working arts so that she can be of service and give back to the community.
She holds sacred space for me to open up about my ethnic impoverishment and we celebrate the enriched experience of culture that she has as a Mexican-American East Los Angelino.
Please support her Go Fund Me campaign here:
Laura was born in East LA, raised in Sur El Monte –UCLA matriculated, educated by her people only, from the classrooms to the streets. She studied Xicanx Studies and Spanish at UCLA, and within undergraduate studies she began to unfold her art of poetry and went on to perform original pieces.
Professionally trained as a legal assistant, Laura took a break from capitalism beginning of 2017 to both create and nurture a newborn, born July of 2017, and felt completely underwhelmed with returning to life in an office. Having had a beautiful, calm and empowering home birth, she is now on the path to joining other mamas on the journey and educating them as a friend and a doula.
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast episode number 179 I am being joined by at Laura cermeno and she is a sovereign independent mother who I recently have kind of bumps elbows with on social media and she like the kind of stuff I’m doing I like the kind of stuff she’s doing and just synchronistically around her run over recent posts you know I I got a sense of the purposeful mission of being an independent and Sovereign mother that she’s working on also to be a birth worker in to get sort of a community supported or our crowd Source funding of contributions so that she can step up in that role and being serviced in a good way and that is really impressive to me that’s those these are the kind of empowered women that I’m working to build the technical infrastructure in the financial infrastructure to support in in ways that allow for more freedom and and indignity really so that there’s just not this constant compromise and sort of pressure to find a man or a v hitch to a man or the family pressure of where is the this all the psychic external Authority from the toxic masculinity that that is just an economic privilege that shouldn’t really exist so I had them or the community comes in to support women you are doing this kind of work in my opinion the better the world is going to be the better it will be making the world a better place so I’m I’m putting my money where my mouth is I don’t know about anybody else but with that said that’s my soapbox speech for the moment and I will say Lord thank you so much for your kind of being a stranger to me but but being willing to come in until your story and share and hopefully we can get some some good promotion for you as well so please go ahead and tell us about how you’ve evolved awesome I just turned 26 my little Hometown is kind of bug predominantly Mexican neighborhood I grew up I am also from independent mom most of my memories of my childhood was just being with her though we know a stepfather just coming to play when I was about eight years old and still currently still in our lives but for the most part I did see myself as a child of a single mom or independent mom who is very strong and I’m really a lot different from her own background from basically a traditional Mexican home from from a Pueblo from a really small area and you still can’t just a carry on these very men Center traditions and some typical gender roles and very kind of backwards Catholic beliefs so I did grow up with with those beliefs and them at least it’s a tempting of Swing. Urinating me with those beliefs although I do consider myself is to be honest, I didn’t know what the word was but I did know that if things are unfair I wasn’t very interested in heaven as much as my family tried to teach me to cook and clean for Imaginary future partner that would have a pretty much rejected those things when I was around my extended family so my mom never protected those things onto me so I think that kind of help bringing sing both sides really I love you supposedly was your car is no my mom was a struggling mom she had wanted to drop most of the time and despite all those things I did Destiny have a harsh of bringing my mom was also flawed herself but I made it to UCLA wanted to study to become an environmental lawyer didn’t really know how to get around to that but ended up sending check on the city so you feel like although I did still have the tendency to want to go into the legal field which actually did end up going into and despite all that I’m an artist and a poet and a creative at that point in my life who did my baby’s father for years out of college be going out like I spent the day blush and all those things and I very much as interested in kind of The Next Step specialist inside after someone like me to kind of accomplish something like a dream from school like that I thought was pretty much bet I could you know do other things I guess and one of them was very much you know starting family so I’ll save you a lot of activism work at UCLA with an organization called occupy UCLA I was also part of the Bruins I’m going to spray quality there so when I was kind of a practicing their two sisters are there Mexican Oaxaca and they just talked about big mothers and so on one episode that they did speak about home birth and I want to listen in on that and they say they spoke to her mother her name is Lauren boy she still practices as a midwife in Los Angeles Pacific Lane Redondo Beach and she’s recently had moved back to Los Angeles from maybe around ten years of experience and work with communities in Oaxaca although she’s American she has good credentials to me because she was taught by my people if that makes sense so that made me feel like Asian is a language patient was a culture might be more than a lot of others who have just lost touch with their culture and so that definitely empowered me to continue on and I believe I did reach out to her before I even was pregnant so that I can make sure that you know I was able to lock her down because I figured you’d be pretty popular after that podcast so that’s why I landed speaking with her and she ended up being my Midwife who delivered my son I’m so mean I don’t know how to fast forward to now but the home birth was spectacular there was a point where I thought I’m not going to make it in the sense that I’m ready to go to the hospital maybe to make things easier but once my dual arrived I would say she was the most instrumental in getting me to finish with my goal of having a natural number is amazing so her name is Jenny solo it’s been a year and 4 months since my son was born for the first year I was full-time being a mom stay-at-home parent and the past 4 months have been attempting to become more independent been 4 months since I left my partner and I just had to revert back to the LegalShield because that’s what I had experienced in so I did not enjoy it anymore so that’s where we are today I’m just floored and humbled and I’m kind of in shock that I’m that I’m witnessing in myself hearing all of this in feeling like Sperry I’m just Gathering my thoughts right now because so much of what you said or are considerations and concerns that a lot of a lot of men don’t turn into when they’re just doing ball games and barbecues and video games and when I dropped out of that world a stint was very in my formative years in college was very much transform bye-bye feminist lovers who really put me in check and it made me think about and try to grow sensitivity to a lot of these issues till is it just a little bit just to kind of help if you will accompany you to kind of put my contacts in in this mix cuz it’s it feels like from from from one perspective this is really awkward because what is a what is a white dude know about any of this stuff unless unless you really cared and why would he even care and I do care because you know my I have you know since I’ve had I’ve been a victim of patriarchy and various ways that makes me very sensitive to other victims of patriarchy and the the healing the thesaurus cultural healing the the gender ceiling that needs to happen it’s is very near and dear to my heart is so it’s it’s kind of made me care and be concerned and actually want to I mean of all the superhero archetypes and all the vet like violet masculine heroic bulshit if there’s a way to be a hero that is not always sexy and not always is glamorous and not always has violin it’s really like how do you how do you get humbled by the stories and understand the need to flip the script and really start to take whatever privilege you have and put it where it’s needed the most and that’s kind of what you’re talking about that’s what I hear you know this is trying to to make it against so if you don’t mind Alaska this journey that you have taken I don’t want to I don’t want it to be gossipy or dramatic or anything or but feel free to go off if you want to but I am I am curious what and whatever way you want to express it that the breaking apart breaking up Breaking Free however you want to describe it what is that look like for you having can you walk us through kind of your the psychology of the happy-ever-after kind of Disney thing was that going on or where you you know I just just whatever you could say about how you how you discovered you had to come part ways and there’s a fork in the road it with the relationship and now you have I don’t know if you have child support coming in I don’t know if you have like what level of estrangement or or or sort of like a financial duress you might be in so we can get a sense of how best to support your super heroic efforts if you if I dare say basically I don’t think that we ever really were in the happily-ever-after although we were super connected by the idea of really like my miss both of us really wanted to start a family and we met during active this time it was funny how you see yourself as Waco White Privilege Connections in certain like moral things and kind of political things but our communication never built back up our trust never built back up I guess I reach some normalcy but I think what really set me off towards the end all the way I believe we’ve been breaking up for like a long time probably even during the pregnancy there was still like some issues just basically getting along then maybe just things that weren’t fulfilling and if she know we were to be honest with one another it was it lasted even longer than it than it had to but towards the end actually on my son’s first birthday party when are joined together mind being the bigger 35 + people his relatives came by we had just gotten the house you know he actually is a lawyer law field and so I was a stay-at-home mom at the point at that point trying to break free also it was like a great especially our son but things kind of devolved I can’t believe it really was his mom trying to start shit and you know wondering asking one of these people leaving you know in my home and instead of Nino I don’t know that being squash for like maybe my partner kind of getting a little bit better he felt like you know he needed to give his response or whatever because we’ve been celebrating him drinking for a while and you don’t even smoke was being funny and I believe literally every person was enjoying themselves operate on her problem not a problem that’s why I like sarcasm but you know my partner’s response was after I was nothing helpful I wouldn’t say I was being helpful but that’s right my response he decided to kick out my family and that was a breaking point for sure I believe I talked about breaking up that night will you continue to go to couples counseling which was something that we’ve already started alright believe he started much too late couple weeks past actually I will not go back the very next day my grandmother from my grandmother who wasn’t present at the party from My Father’s Side passed away from cirrhosis and you know I dealt with being embarrassed by my partner in front of my family and then you know another relative dying you know still trying to go to couples counseling and all that and really getting no type of support One account for themselves my grandmother’s Memorial came and I wanted to celebrate go out you got a babysitter so we can go baby dancing and relieve some stress my partner were not by being we’re not getting along with and despite you know me really being in need we did not seem to go on that Alsace you know decided to go for a drive alone and got donuts with a friend and came back or came back going towards my house now calling my partner again and ask them what his plans were and he said that he was going to go to a strip club instead of either spend time with me or do nothing really but he really needed to make a statement about you know me leaving him and saying that he wasn’t a pleasant person or support that that night so you know me leaving and be independent memes like I a deserved I guess for him to go ahead and go and do something as disrespectful as it was possible for him to do something like that and he did it so because I asked me and I also think this is going to be good for a relationship to it she responded what relationship and so I kind of like where’s my hand I would say there was definite self-sabotage there and it was all so liberating you know maybe in a way he know scapegoating him for his actions and me for you needing to leave but yeah that was a definite and it was just like indicative of like a huge problem that we already had had him something that I wanted to get away from him not showed it to normalize. To my son I mean I just yep that’s how that ended thank you so much for sharing that and there’s so much going on there and it’s honestly there’s a bear up there are a number of parallel situations that I’m somehow in the crossfire or in the middle Evan in some way or another where I get it and I will I’m starting to starting to get it starting to understand that that these fractures that happen in just the whole notion that we have of the nuclear family and that whole white American picket fence line two and a half kids and dog and a cat and two cars in the garage and in that hole Mystique it time it’s problematic for a lot of reasons and what you just feel like I don’t feel like I’m doing anything wrong right now by opening in holding the space for you to share this story in a way that will reach people all over the world who are going to have a vibratory emotional resonance with just the crisis here in because you you I’m sure you will write a book you will have your Memoirs whether you whether we’re kind of taking notes now and putting out a little bit of it now or if it comes out all later but this is some it’s it’s it’s a sadly tragic typical pattern and I feel like the the word that and I have this this it is I have this fantasy this utopian fantasy that we can somehow as an entire species returned to a dynamic where women are really super into into each other’s emotional needs and it in each other’s physical needs and in and even a Time sexual needs I’m not afraid to say it I will say that it’s not it’s not it’s not a big secret that lesbian lovers take care of each other longer and better than most straight male lovers and it’s just one one dimension here but but overall I’m just seeing that the the vulnerability and the susceptibility to these douchey patterns that can just be catastrophic if it’s just that I have been trained by my feminist friends and lovers who are female body and in that they’ve been taught me that it’s like so many women are trapped in in these fucked-up Dynamics with men because they don’t have solidarity and Sisterhood amongst each other to the point where where men are just think if they come and go it doesn’t even fucking matter because they don’t have any property rights they don’t have you know your bank account password they don’t have there’s not at this whole mythology around you know my you need to view need to impress my family and my family needs to get babies from you to put their name on so that we can give her so I mean whatever the race I mean dinosaurs say whatever but but that’s not even getting started with the racial politics of course just the patriarchal patrilineal you know we named We pre-stamped the mail the mail server name on the children and we we want to control the sexuality of all of all females because they’re either going to be cranking out babies that we don’t own or they’re going to be cheating on are you know prodigal son you know we don’t want the Princess Luna with a princess running off with the family jewels in shacking up and falling in love with some poor man if some other race or something and then there’s so many that are going on I don’t know if any I’m just kind of going off because these are the bigger patterns in a bigger size but like what you talk what you’re saying like this is very well I just want to say I guess in a in a supportive way as best I can that what you just described about your particular Journey with these macro Dynamics is I just want to applaud you for for you know stepping up and taking a stand and taking a risk in and going out on a limb for your own dignity and sovereignty and I hope that the dudes in the doghouse and he’s going to try to like not are you know I’m not going to be projecting my my couples counseling services on TV right now I don’t know what is the destiny is that I was supposed to have them but certainly some growth and learning on on his part and I hope that his heart is open to that and I will say you know if you ever hears this if you ever meet Smith at like you know he can spit in my face but I will still give him a hug because we can go and have her men’s group or whatever to bring it back to the world again just I applied you I’m I’m seeing a bestseller here already so take good notes and and when I will just put best best wishes after he comes you know falls into the 2 to the matriarchy and in whatever way you’ll make sense but from this point of what you shared now I’m wondering so the the leap of faith into Independence and being single and what is that look like for you financially and legally and an emotionally didn’t like what have you kind of designed for yourself is the strategy to move forward without move forward with a cup with a new paradigm for yourself of what community is going to be like and what a family is going to be like in maybe yeah I mean I can only imagine I have a few other folks I said who are in similar circumstances that that I hear from a lot but it sounds like you know you stepped up and said hey hook it up I’m doing something good I’m going to take care of everybody’s going to be cuz you remove by that so so definitely luckily for now I’m not going through any court system to try to get any reciprocation from baby’s father he’s pretty open pretty good he is providing child support although we have some reason talks about cutting back on that at my like probably most vulnerable time right now so when things aren’t perfect but I enjoy you know the 50/50 split that we do have I think that’s healthy for my son that’s healthy for me to have some much-needed time to recoup and kind of like clean up my space and have me time luckily I found a place leasing out of 4 bedroom house with some friends some really good like-minded friends that I am having you know that Community with and that’s 5 minutes from the daycare by mention the baby father not my favorite place but you know I’m glad that it’s going to work out that way I’ll east of the Prime Meridian Community me and my partner are going to have to be in a family no matter what here and physical demands are so far not really though you know I would definitely recommend for those who do have those issues like you need to go to court my cell phone for that system but particularly what’s going on meeting child support is crucial to start as soon as you can. I’m I’m kind of make sure that things are fair you know things can be fingernail that clear you don’t know people’s Financial anything until you really get them down in a way not the same situation for everyone but luckily I’m having luck with that I never had my own place you don’t like my own place but you know I’m on the lease or where me and responsibility is a double edged sword but being cool with that and being able to do it even just excited about that I definitely am now the opinion that monogamy doesn’t work I’m opening you know myself up and I’m starting to date a little bit but for the most part I want to maintain like not a typical kind of unhealthy ways where you know because you decided to like someone now they have a say in your top of me and things like that I don’t I don’t Vibe with that and I’m just trying to meet people were kind of the same way as far as Community I mean like food sharing meeting other mothers connecting online especially now since I’m one reason Kratom has probably for myself and I do see myself hanging out with my friends and kind of wanting that energy around my son as well so for now it’s it’s that way I don’t I don’t I don’t leave men out are you not going to go the same type of again yeah that’s what I am well I’m glad to hear it pretty much all of that that’s it could be so much worse and probably not that that much better and some of the stuff I’m actually hearing it’s it’s there is it’s it’s funny because or I should say it’s funny but I’ll say that the tragic comedy is that a lot of what what a conventional or conservative certainly white bread kind of patriarchal mortified to hear most of what you’re saying cuz it would just be the end of the American dream and to me it’s like the end of the American Nightmare so I’m actually happy to hear that I honestly believe everyone can find most likely find a little something a little bit better for them scary part is leaving I guess well that’s a deep study and and I think about that Austin and I I’m just trying to build up the most elegant toolkit of intellectual and emotional resources to help people kind of feel supported in these kind of decisions one of the things that I found was a great resources there’s a polyamory weekly podcast and I don’t know it’s been awhile since I’ve been away from them but they were gone for quite a while and they interview the woman who called herself a relationship Anarchy and non-hierarchical relationship Anarchist which was and she just broke it down so hard core in and that cuz you could be relationship anarchists and be rebelling against a store Terry and lovers of course but but she was even taking it to a level of like I’m not going to have a primary partner does not going to be a sort of you know a favoritism kind of dimension of a hierarchy at the way that you get with people who do the primary partner thing which I’m not saying it’s good or bad but I’m just saying wow this is the potential is Limitless for how free you can actually be used at the Quizlet see citizen in that system essential and and so so yeah I feel like a lot of the toxic Behavior happens in this sort of void or vacuum where couples are in this secret hell realm called privacy where people shut their doors and close your blinds and they don’t want they feel like it’s inappropriate for them to to kind of do like a sit-in strike and say no until you all resolve this issue I’m not going to go to work I’m not going to leave the room I’m not going to give you your privacy to tear each other apart I’m going to ask you present and and so call me utopian call me an idealist but I feel like that Sisterhood and Brotherhood and everything in between hood is all good in the more the merrier to have people holding each other socially accountable for for misconduct and for just micro micro oppression and abuse and everything so yeah glad to hear that you’re are more Collective household and I certainly can commiserate with the that next leveling of responsibility to be to be on the lease because then you actually have to be kind of like a a job site manager 2 or something you have to take on these others wish that we would just like it was just the land and the people that children got my anything–but so so yeah now that we didn’t answer we’ve kind of mentioned a couple times the campaign that you’re doing so now will probably be a great time to give you full space to just talk about what you’re hoping to get from what the support you’re looking to to access from from those who can shave off a bit of their of their means to help you get something blue strapless with your all about it jobs Aliso maybe a little bit over a week now I was terminated from pretty terrible workplace I’m I’m pretty blessed I’m leaving and you know now just thinking about the perfect opportunity to try to switch to something more meaningful more creative less to do with the government and substantiating pretty must have systems I don’t actually mamaw really believe in so and I did I I mean I’ve been kind of thinking about some sort of spiritual work with other spiritual guides in other folks and they’ve always going to tell me you know you have this play healing thing like soda spiritual work and what they were doing I mean psychic reading room but then I was like I don’t think so you know so yeah for the most part and I’ve always been a writer. I also staying so try to do those things you know somebody is coming not much but and then just speaking to my Doula I also met with her and she kind of walk me through the process and I looked up some specific trainings that I really thought would really help some of them are for certification someone is not although certification I hear this not also not required I feel like you know parents definitely wanted to have some sort of certification so why not I’m so yeah for now I mean the main when I like the workshop that I like is not a certification one but it has so much it’s called sumi’s touch it’s a workshop at his family’s touch it still see only do it raining Crown cost $750 and all of the resources are online so I mean you study but he get the resources online so I should be able to you know keypad and potential clients another big part of the training is actually going in on where it’s which you know middle Midwest most likely kind of mitigate that you know there can’t be like 10 people on the room besides you know family members or whatever so you know it has to be kind of specific and you know birth work to do with all of this and so I shared that those costs for apprenticeships just for one birth of roughly 500 each so you know that they’ll send me back a little right now so she right now because if not I’m still trying to get email part-time job to maintain education and kind of community work that’s what that’s why I have approximate around $6,000 like kind of a beginning him out but I think you know once I get into it’ll be a lot more feasible you know no longer asking the community but if not you know give I want to give give my work to two families I would completely need to know a free Doula like that’s my gift back after I completed some training and yeah I do want both birth Doula and postpartum doula certification so that I could help free during birth and then postpartum healing looks pretty much my spiel about the GoFundMe I pray that you get all of the abundance that is coming to you and I really appreciate the way your structuring the the perks you know to be able to be in service in and it’s really like a Pay It Forward kind of thing of people can help you out they will know that they have you to have their backs and I’ve known a couple of doulas in my life and certainly known women who have worked in the women’s sexual health field in the reproductive Health shield and pardon my French but a lot of what what they’ve been up against is a real shitshow and I just watch and watch the the mainstream institutions just chew them up and spit them out in the pharmaceutical corruption and just there’s so much real evil going on once you get into that medicalized anything. I am so we don’t know most of us what we don’t know about what we’re missing out on about home birth and having really wise which is an herbalist and and Medicine women who have dedicated themselves to these pads and if you want to talk about taking a power back from patriarchy this is such a one of the deepest wounds are one of the most I guess I would say for my perspective which is a really I really twisted for most of intervention from the the way that they put you in the stirrups to the others are so many things that I think it was just a total medieval torture horse or something else so can you teach for the people listening and I don’t know if you will get you know a ton of support just you know from from the audience I’ll try to get this out as soon as possible but I’m certainly going to put in what I can to help you move forward with your goals but I would like to just have you just kind of share with us for the record kind of what what is the what Define a doula and independent provide more of a definition and and talk about really how how relevant is that we have a doula on every block or whatever is the goal you know what I mean I really like its etymology like it means a woman of service or something like that would she really really wrong with that but you know obviously in the picture I get at 11 and someone wants to be there for you and not not just a service but more like emotional like support I believe that’s one of the most beautiful things, I didn’t think about needing a doula until it was probably 6 months into my pregnancy and you know what the things are and who could help me in the prices in time became very anxious do you know why but I just realized maybe because of my issues with my ex and I needed a more emotionally attentive person that just knew it wasn’t was going on and I will you not shave my ex still he was very much present and helpful I’m I did too heavily rely on just my Doula process so because she is entrenched in me a Mexican traditional practices of Reno labor and then she’ll sit does placenta encapsulation and she does feeling ceremonies at the end which are traditional Tim and Janice Mexican communities because they’re in the traditional to some indigenous communities definitely she’s very in touch with those types of things and for the most part I believe it was mainly her touch some of her words that are touched during spring surgeons contractions that kind of made them my mind go away station was about like 50% reduced and just having that constantly every now every 5 3 2 5 minutes like that touch that reassurance it was brief but it was powerful and I wasn’t seeking anyone else out other than her and I don’t think that if she was not present but I would have done you know the full natural hunger I don’t know if the goal is to have one on every block but at least four people to know what I do want is what to do what does do those are not the ones license to help bring out the baby anything medical although they do Monitor 40 days postpartum ceremony maybe their knowledge is that are carried out through very many generations through a special spiritual people spiritual healers family-to-family it’s not about a social-media thing although it is becoming one I am particularly wanted that because I don’t believe in science is not created by women about women I don’t think more people can know about our bodies than ourselves and our intuition far beyond what the cerebal can tell us far beyond what we can read about in nail science textbooks or something like that especially her mother is healthy with no complications. Things will be fine you know that science of fear is stronger than the actual evidence based science dualism cells can produce for you regarding you know labor and delivery just in the home so that’s why I want to do what I want to do awesome I feel the warmth in my heart. Nice and kind of my mind playing out to the cinematography of of what you’re talking about and if you are you good to go at 5. This is been a fast almost hours are you good to go a little further or something that is because you mentioned social media it’s it’s kind of I guess ties in with this kind of fun well I will see the you’re also talking about science and technology and and how might how feminism has inform my attitudes towards technology and whatnot so just kind of say briefly that I I think there’s a lot of Now new space for ethical hackers of all colored hats to look at the the big data conglomerates and monopolies that are sucking our private information out into the corrupt backdoor deals and just makes Orwell look like Bambi or something you know it’s like it’s worse it’s worse than I ever imagined it’s more Insidious and more Twisted in in sadistic never imagining and yet it also this whole moment we’re in with with some the internet with social media I’m I’m old enough to know what it was like to have to read a book or go out and socialize to not be bored a lot has changed I see this blessing and a curse and then obviously the curse of aspects are pretty obvious certainly anybody listen to this anybody is addicted to refreshing a need an app for anyting guilty of certain degrees of that we can if we have a hack your mindset to this situation than we can we can use a little bit of digital Alchemy in in in figure out how to make these systems work in in the benefit of the people in the benefit of people of color in the benefit of the oppressed of all varieties in and really it’s it’s the potential I think to reclaim and redefine Beauty on a lot of levels so something that you were very I would say there is a bold and beautiful about is the you or I seen your Instagram and you’re doing herbal baths with your child you know you’ve you’re doing breastfeeding you were flying your stretch marks and I believe there is a lot of room and a lot of potential to reclaim the the beauty of mothers and Andrea Lee break the beauty myth molding and smash the patriarchy in that sense so I’m just curious if it’s not out of my you know appropriate balance to to open these topics if you want to talk about how you how you want to or how you were thinking about and strategizing about kind of re beautifying motherhood in in the whole kind of plastic Barbie Perfection kind of thing I feel like my probably never fit the mold and you know what Barbie stuff that’s hot issues with my image and and what I want to see I guess then in a pregnancy in a major key for while I from Los Angeles I feel like I was especially at that point because I had been breastfeeding and things have been going so well and I was producing a lot of milk is losing a lot of calories I feel like I was like my body what did have a hard time with it actually was a stretch marks because they’re so dark for so long and maybe they’ve been fighting this year but at the end of the day because I’ve been mice like who I am who I hopefully have portrayed myself to be it myself you know throughout this talk I like what’s in the mirror like I can’t deny a picture for the most part those images they came about kind of want to win all those thousands upon thousands of pictures of other pictures are affected my culture I’m not just my culture it was actually an article about Latinos and changing the United States predominately do think Mexican and not the problem itself my Mexican culture I mean how could I let you know how can I kind of like I wasn’t cheerleading I wasn’t picky I was just listening to kind of like creative directors and and also one of them being my Village any Silva. Imo’s pictures I couldn’t deny that for myself a friend of mine. For my son and you know it at the time I’m pretty sure I was very self-conscious but I’ve ever gotten of me and my son and regardless I don’t think that you can even think about Barbie that have skated my son and there’s no way that you can deny that kind of love what I write in my diary and actually feel about myself sometimes I mean everyone has those monsters and it’s not it’s settled in the other thing is like I’m making him a photo with my son and it’s not sexual at all and so those types of conversations we were blessed and that my picture came to fruition through National Geographic so they actually were able to okay that photo and have it in place of the name of an article which I particularly make sense with the rest of the words in the article so captivating in a way it captures kind of like innocence in like kind of like giving like specially because yeah that’s what it that’s what the whole process is giving your body an alarm for a time and then all the time after that where you’re breastfeeding you’re also very much giving your body and your energy but yeah I’m super lucky that my Doula Jenny silver had previously worked with a National Geographic photographer and they were interested in cultivating raised images for a specific article about kind of power which was reshaped to talk about Trump’s America basically I’m so yeah I mean it away my photo resurface there and it is in the magazine July 2017 you’re after my son was born so that was pretty powerful yeah that’s pretty much a part of me wishes that you would just keep talking forever so I don’t have to help myself for like being choked up with tears right now and we like that yeah this is this is really powerful and I said I want to be too Starstruck that that you’re a Nat Geo and Neji was so near and dear to my heart I feel like doing the Wayne’s World I’m not worthy thing is that just a little bit more about my do love if you know like something with her in there because Stephanie like know that power and you know all that staging and ran to actual herbal bath like those images and like that sacredness of hours but you know that’s something from her and I think that comes out of the picture yeah I like I always the picture like National Geographic a lot of like animals but just being in touch with all types of Nature and like you know that type of stuff like being in arima super powerful and I think that again it’s like a lost tradition in my car trying to reclaim that now. It’s been around you know these things are not scary but just letting you know we have more power right on well I will say I have it is not been challenging for me to be. Don’t take this the wrong way or anything but I would say there is a man in this world I’ve always felt like it was not a chore but else but a privilege to a good refers to be meditating on the the beauty of stretch marks and just feeling the texture and not is a sort of like oh oh pity party you know you don’t get to be in Miss Universe it now or whatever it’s like such a bullshit but it’s a Well there should be a Miss Universe for for that and if you actually cared you know you would appreciate that so I feel like that if you haven’t anyone listening if you haven’t worshipped stretch mark belly before then you’re missing out the music sits it’s a mystery and something to to meditate on in into yeah it’s 11 so I appreciate that and I guess maybe your last sort of from save me hear them thinking of would just be 2 maybe I’m kind of a this is this is a big kind of klusterfuk of questions I guess you could say that I that I have I’m a white man to grow up in the Northwest and one of the whitest states in the union and I was always drawn to the Mystique of LA to all of the Hollywood movies that I watched his latchkey kid and all that stuff and now I’ve been down here for almost maybe more than 15 years trying to just connecting and you know you’re going to laugh but it’s like things like I really connected as a young child with movies like La Bamba and later got into Blood In Blood Out which is also made by the same the same dude who was who is his kind of enamored with being I don’t I wouldn’t forget to send him but I’d say certainly my case that has he said he grew up grew up around and experienced a lot of Latino culture for me there were bits and pieces growing up but but just being a fight dude totally disgusted with the emptiness of my own non-kosher at 8 just felt like I want to just be the ugly ducking duckling and check up to whatever other intact kind of familial or sort of tribal structure as I can find so I’m kind of like a Joy’s the the parties and I’ve always kind of like exactly I haven’t tried to Vienna. The Mexican because I’m in LA and I’ve Had My Moments in there to see if you would know that I just that there’s been some funny like West Side Story type moments and funny like that is pretty funny but it it it it does speak to this bigger kind of picture thing what I want to say about it being the klusterfuk of a question is like to bring it back for you is like you know I see indigeny small and sort of thumb Anarchy feminism in just at the tour to Mexico with punk bands and I’ve gotten to really for myself see the the this just the fact that 49 1492 is every day somewhere in the world and there’s places where that that that Battlefield this is like the battlefield of indigenous language is dying against Spanish to English in seeing punk bands play punk in steampunk in and totally indigenous tongue that may or may not be fully documented by anthropologists but it’s a the and also the fact that like a lot of the Latin American punk rock seems that I got to experience were not everybody was all pumped out a lot of people were just like regular working class citizens and they were all participating in that because it was like the a way to celebrate I got more of that more deeply connected fabric of culture and what not but I guess you know what I worried where this is going and I appreciate you being very with me versus myself I feel like I could ask you this question and I can’t I can’t always ask people this question cuz it’s too controversial into explosive you know but the question really is you know how do you in your you’ve broken free from a lot of the shackles of thinking that Catholicism in patriarchy and the state and and all these other institutions that that try to turn indigenous people against their own skin color against their own Traditions you know you were fighting that fight right now and I just I’m curious what you would say and what your thoughts are what you would share for the the occupied and the occupiers the colonized in the colonizers wherever you might be in the world like what what is what words would you have to say for to empower people to break free from these religious controls and spiritual and sexual all that stuff and so I don’t know you know what comes to mind but how can people be of service that are not you know my condition is some people who are indigenous how can they kind of stand up and break free and not sell out and whatever you know conform or whatever that is definitely a huge question I don’t consider myself like any kind of Representatives regardless of my identity. You know like like similar to you I think I don’t necessarily write people off because they’re white although have a lot of comrades and friends I do but I do think that there’s be home folks or not a business that you know there’s a void there’s there’s a feeling there’s a there’s a reason why we’re all kind of going through a shift and realizing like this is not a certain different types of things for ourselves and having kind of like technological kind of looks like talking but not enough kind of like doorways to like get through to like the type of world that we will be one of those kind of far out two different things I mean it sucks but now the main way you can contribute to the world you want to live in right now is funds his fundraising is bleeding charity work but more like you know who needs to be uplifted that’s maybe you know if you can think about it the current structure for the current capitalistic structure are not valued in the same monetary way but they’re doing more for the community and the types of work and the type of world that you want to live in in the future like that type of stuff right so like less kind of thing people eyes like a disadvantage or whatever it’s more like kind of like Goods what can you give when then what can you what can you go back to people who have donated to me just like that other people who again or more just that I want to see what’s up to so you know like you know anyone that’s looking for a doula you know how I am in that position where I think I do need to attend for free things like that so for people who are indigenous of course just again where the mouth speaking to people speaking to people about birth rethinking births or I’ll be home for a worm anything that deviant from you you know but not necessarily kind of like reinforcing those structures on each other that type of thing but that judgment what became an entrepreneur for yourself so you know it’s just being you not being imaginative enough and you may be wanting that for yourself in your life right like that’s why people come out here with negativity or or should I just be mindful of your energy where you place it in and why you’re giving off something that’s not super ideal my world’s just blind optimism but you know I think we definitely need more optimism and I am definitely like a punk I really like happy Punk right now from a world where you know I’m from the same world as y’all but I definitely think for the revolution what I want to bring is this breath work and what I want to bring is more positivity and it has to be blind sometimes why not you know we just need that when you believe in God but definitely line ourselves up to receive those changes by way of saying all the the mess ups we have in our own brain like deconstructing kind of like the actually try to make a difference I think that’s pretty much it is to you for decolonizing your bedroom and decona is in your mind and decide to colonizing these dimensions of bed sometimes overlooked and I appreciate everything you have been saying in will be taking good notes in and I can also commiserate about punk rock and I’ll say that I like I said happy Punk I’ve actually kind of put the thought experiment out there what if what if in some bizarre sci-fi future the punk the punk rock an Arco Punk Revolution actually succeeds and we are living in tribal Neo tribal Utopia and there’s nothing to complain about what kind of music are we going to read me and are we going to be playing these like death metal Melodies about Doom and Gloom or we going to be free country weaving the musical fabric that used to be just ceremonial songs and and ways to get through seasons and get through life cycles and things so so I’m I’m there with you and I if I am looking forward to hearing the chi music that you hopefully will create an account of lyrics and poetry that you were right and hopefully that will be part of that transition towards post-apocalyptic Punk kind of phone oh yeah well. Cool will definitely have more time again I think will be great to have you back to even come in and talk about some of the as you do your trainings and as you have more experience has to come in and share and just get more people kind of Switched on and activated around in this and amazing well thank you so much for your platform I appreciate it so much more than you know but I definitely would love to come and reconnect it somewhere cool so I guess I would say that I just want to help put in my final words and then leave it open to you to say whatever you like to close out with and certainly will put a link to your campaign in the show notes and anything else you like to have shared their yeah and so I would say it’s interesting residents that I have with with your story and that I actually I went to the University of Oregon and that was where is it premieres environmental law conference happen every year and it was just an orgy of environmental lawyers and I got to expose to all of these campaigns in all of these struggles and all of this super high level but it was great cuz it was like you had all these super Elite privileged white intellectual academic Scholars and then they were using the budget of the university in this this this conference annual conference to to bring in indigenous environmental Warriors from all over the world to tell me the story so you know that was it a very beautiful thing and I feel like something that is the I want to see a buzzword but like a key term from from that world is well everything is is our environment and the environmental justice in this order from the cultural ecological issues that you’re talking about it’s like yeah you talking about the legality around the environment of the womb and how they how to clean clean that up so I feel like you were definitely I mean I can see the the parallels there and in whatever dimension environmental law Shield work you want to explore I’m sure that the the grant funding and the interns and that you no tapping into all of those those hungry Minds in the people that want to study things and you know you just have to spend it right and you can have a PhD thesis if I can see it so you review right yeah but now I I just actually study that I actually did research on mental racism in low-income communities I’m in certain communities but I think my closing thoughts for sure are just that Albert’s that’s the beginning of our culture and if we are experiencing experiencing or like that I meant to me if you know I’ve been through this process and make sense to me but if you think about it you know I think about it logically and all the beginning of society begins with Creative Kids of this cage think of work like this is like the first step for a new Society right like and even in your own interpersonal lives where can we drive power and how come we Empower women to have empowered birth and not just you know that one day but you know checking in having Community being accountable to them you know I’m kind of Usher as Elders that experience them but also have some advice for independent mother and said I would say and I’ll start with self-care is your number one goal that’s super difficult and over myself a camera that usually ask for my son because I know I could feel depleted if I wasn’t so caring I definitely was a different kind of mom and that’s something I didn’t want to pass on I would say start creating that works around you find other end of town mothers like you share resources like food would sharing and child caring if that’s feasible of my ruin us to Burnt out from work for when you need it I said I would say don’t have too much of a pride issue personally but when you ask for help then people will know that you need it and regardless of of that Party Factory think that because we have a little little people to attend to you know it doesn’t really have a place all the time when numbers are my final words alright well thank you so much I’m looking forward to next steps and we will talk more about the survival women project soon and and hopefully that can be another another connection point two more networking and more resources to help you move all this stuff for so thank you for being being willing to come on the show and hopefully a lot of people will get a lot from this and I really do want to bring it all the way back down to the thirst with a lot of the stuff and I appreciate that so yeah I have a wonderful rest of your evening and we will be in touch very soon thank you for listening to the touch of Time Podcast please go to www.drudgereport.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and if you want a podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple that provides ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at 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