In this episode I’m joined by Ayzad an exquisite scholar of all things erotic and extreme. We explore human sexuality from the affirming to the disturbing and beyond. Ultimately we find redemption and hope in the efforts of sexual liberators to create consensual, safe, and sane spaces to share experiences, knowledge and wisdom without repression.
Please visit his website at:
I was born in 1969. I am a reformed journalist, a writer, alternative sexuality educator and a personal coach. I have been practicing BDSM for 30 years now and Ayzad is the pseudonym under which in 2004 I wrote BDSM – A Guide for Explorers of Extreme Eroticism, where I collected everything I had learned from my studies of a really endless topic. That manual became a best seller starting collaborations with sexologists and scholars who drew me to extend my research to every form of unusual sexuality.
The first result was another book titled XXX – The Dictionary of Unusual Sex (currently, most of my books are available in Italian only, sorry!), followed by many other projects described within my website, including the novel Original Sins, the biography The Mistress and the guide to extreme erotic relationships I Love BDSM.
Ayzad.com was born to collect and share my daily discoveries about the lesser known aspects of sex, to have fun together and – as it always happens with these things – to better know ourselves. Enjoy.
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast number 105 I’m on Skype with his Dad he is a author and kink educator and I’ve discovered his work through a list of sex bloggers and a directory and was blown away by how much of the depths of material he’s amassed on his website all about everything can’t get in BDSM and just a lot of the obscurities of the history of human sexuality and certainly the the policies and repressive tendencies that have forced a lot of a lot of human sexual expression underground and into various forms of sort of cultural resistance and so it’s obviously something that I’m very interested in tracking and seeing where where a lot of what were what we’re dealing with is coming from and understanding the origins in pain also the The Leverage points where we’re sort of from taking the power back by any means necessary so is that what you like to tell us about your background and how are you became the authority of in the Kink world that you have become very early I have always been attracted to the king even when I was still pretty sexual as a child and I like the imagery Hyatt House box to experience it as soon as I became Antilla in around the end of the century I took a sabbatical we are out of my journalistic job and I took the opportunity to write a book called BDSM guide for Express extreme eroticism which should I I felt it would just be a reference for a vacuum stairs in the in my phone, by the way I know I sound a little bit with my English and well what do you know it became a messages and emails of people thanking me for my job that’s made them feel normal saline accepted by Ciara ended I had to choose between continuing a really graceful job or be coming to Decatur and well here I am after so many years. I’ve been doing all the books I’ve become a personal coach meaning your I help people find the optimal strategy to Silver King related issues and rice to my website of course kaiser.com a YZ80 that it will thank you for doing that in and I love your accent it really adds to the Exotic flare so I appreciated everything is going to land even better it’s a thrill to to hear you speak and I have watched some of your YouTube videos and I so you had yeah you have a website that’s a Blog and you know so if you create video content and kind of curating a lot of material that can support people on their journey and also just really scholarly archivist if you will it sounds like you’ve got a lot of a lot of ability and interest to two kind of document this this these phenomena in in human cultural Evolution so do you want to talk about some of your I guess favorite topics favorite areas of exploration and expertise in and then we can go from there but I found out pretty early that’s it when you talk about sex it is really about sexy self it is mostly other aspects of The Human Experience from unusual aspects of sexuality and explore how they connect your everyday life basically science with history where the fashion religion whatever and this helps a lot in understanding the life in that no more General sense right on yeah you know there’s how would you define kink for people since you have a more vast knowledge and maybe give us a sense of the the etymology do we know really where that term came into use and why and what it say what what it originally was used to mean and in any of that sort of origin story and when people started to use this term in English I mean but generally speaking which refers to any form of meaning not the standard normal accepted to generate a lot of time to culture is prune Jawga fee as well so it’s mostly shorthand 220k to anything a little or a lot older and pleasurable yeah so interesting is it we take it for granted I feel like the from an anthropological perspective if you will it’s it’s sort of an established subculture that is very open-ended but also has certain kind of um sort of standardized memes if you will around the Dungeons and the established kind of I guess you could say I think I’ve seen a breakdown of what I don’t know how they did this research but it showed the most popular Kinks or fetishes sort of broken down in order so you can see that you know it was the list with something like I’m no group sex sex in public sex with a married person things that were taboo breaking so that they could provide it a kick or extraterrestrial that would you know add to the experience and then it gets into more more assertive idiosyncrasies around childhood issues or traumas or just more something just gets sort of stuck at some point and something in a loop and it gets wired with the the erogenous tissues in the whole experience of sexual arousal it’s gets deeply associated with an object or a environment or some some kind of space but it’s so broaden and an open-ended really it feels like you would have to the Baseline to judge what is there isn’t kinky is is going to be a moving Target across the world because there is not there is no real standard the only attempt to standardize sex has been by the Catholic church is pretty much is that right yes I know but I believe we we came to a rubber Goods definition what can be standardized on North with the DSM diagnostic manual for used by psychologists everywhere weather baraz mental issues with people or not and it’s basically turns out to be at that anything that does not create to and eustress and distress actually to yourself and the people around you is just fine no matter how strange it sounds and this is a very good guideline which SSC are ants on the study book wonderful history because when I go round and just service ask people what they are or not the subjects are usually pretty embarrassed to check just have me to watch buy a tree like is so there’s two researchers Yoder of his book and it took Ann Arbor Pro online searches for sex-related Thrones but when you cross the globe and produced a lot of different possible researchers but least of the 100 more widespread fetishes and yes I had to it’s a 2-hour resonates with the watch is considered Taboo in lots of ways and by different cultures what’s up with some very strange things into it I believe that the first search German general is you. Meaning pedophilia but just in general and the garage I’m really worried for some for water sports are very high in the list while we’re on our practice is it which one generally considered more accepted on normal RL way down right now but I can link it to you and you’re going to be well yeah I follow the the PornHub insights newsletter where they send the basically a sector analytics for the searches and they they address certain areas or certain events in this very interesting breakdown you have very insightful if you will have to understand the zeitgeist mean to the search engines metrics is the best way to measure the stuff in for anything you can use the trends. Google.com I believe that Google trans is the tool where you can compare different keyword searches overtime and kind of do your own comparisons like that so yeah I’m familiar with that I didn’t know that there was a study done that kind of intensive over a year’s time it’s great so another question I have for you is I came across this beautiful piece of work it was it was a web web interface that I can remember exactly the name of it it was something like that it looks like a pirate map but it’s like the whole map of the different types of Kings view reference at are right about that at all or it is an interesting visual representation over the intercom the deck connectedness all the kings and even then it is just a very small part of the whole lot of field when I rode to the book called XXX have a dictionary of a text which unfortunately joining two different cultures the cultural of normal people and culture of sexologists kind of removed I found in their knowledge of anything for affiliate have reached an excellent very interesting in in size about this but they just don’t choke there’s something I just got out when the talking about BDSM extreme eroticism and I invited to six ology conferences and this professionals ask me things I really couldn’t understand because I didn’t have the worst and at the same time that you don’t understand my answers because I used to terms which are considered normal SSC and so I called this kind of dictionary to help people better communicate with each other and started listing for fuel you say encountered them and I had to stop at 1:15 hundred of them had reached the end but because it was time to to go into framed and round as a matter of fact and digital edition of this book is a incredibly complex 850ml file where the something like 11,000 internal links is so hard how long did it take you to do that I deleted but it was also the coronation of loss of years of research earlier on so I collected lots of information along the way and that was a good occasion to try and make it into a coherent system wow okay well this is exciting I I just came across a scholar who who described yourself as a cultural sexologist with the as an anthropologist studying different permutations of sexuality that are across and within a cross-cultural perspective and having a sort of cultural relativism about sexual practices and taboos and whatnot and I find that feel very exciting to be able to put in context a lot of the Hang-Ups or no issues that people have let’s see in the so-called West at when you see people are struggling with just monogamy and vanilla vanilla monogamous kind of expectations to find the one soulmate and never have desires for anyone else and never cheat or look for any kind of experiences outside of that perfect together forever till death do us part. I’m and then if you look at it gets a new at work I think it’s name is Chris Ryan sex at dawn that that book that really brings a lot of cross-cultural examples of long-standing traditional societies been around for thousands of years who have Customs such as shared paternity where all of the men are few responsible to all of the children in a tribe or a village and there isn’t any kind of clothes proprietary nuclear family models that at all and so it’s really liberating in a Guiding Light to see those those you can call him first peoples or dismiss people’s or pre-agricultural or notice the number of anthropological terms did he has your research and compassed any of those let’s say with any of those Concepts non-western or indigenous or or Cincy. Graphics thing I mean the concept of them although more turn I set it at school it’s like pee not affect bone out to Romanticism Manta as a philosophical movement and before that it was just accepted that people had a much wider idea of relationships and sex and you know things just to change for time and very restless that just think for example that one in of the animal one of the first meetings all the American Congress in the United States one of the counselor went on in history cross-dressing outfits outfit and nobody found anything all day about that and it was it wasn’t so long ago then I ate everything changed everything will change as a matter of fact I just a few hours ago I I stumbled onto a very neat piece of literature about the morality of relativism all the idea of family and it wasn’t I believe the full station something but that was published it one year ago and the evolution of society and deviance everyone you know them a little sip them because I know that you are looking cute go back to the sex cave just like everybody else does what you doing you should your children should have just one father and one mother and then what is it that’s so cool in Chris Ryan’s book what he points to is this this anthropological term you could say it’s jargon like the sexologist but it’s it’s a powerful term that Fierce egalitarian ISM which basically means that it’s not just that people who were let’s say nomatic gatherer Hunters who didn’t accumulate a lot of private property and wealth and didn’t have very strong structure sartorial boundaries in the what essentially share everything out of necessity and you know you could romanticize that and say oh it’s because they were more noble Savages and they’re more virtuous which I think is generally true that’s my that’s my personal opinion but to be more at scholarly about it and they came up with the term that actually it’s more probably more accurate and you can see this in living at Niagara fees of nomadic Heather Hunter foraging people’s is that Fierce egalitarian ism is the idea that it’s not just said you know it’s nice to share things it’s that if you were hoarding things and you were not sharing things then there’s going to be a real backlash a real problem with that so it’s not that it’s not that you would extrapolate that all that means that women have no rights to their bodies and in and it’s not like Clan of the Cave Bear that you know a woman is public property to be used for Sex On Demand with no agency but rather everyone including the men would be obliged to share food sex shelter medicine skills new discoveries whatever it is it’s it’s that that sense but but what you’re describing why The Flintstones it’s it’s this cultural norm that is about not separating and taking basically inhibiting the development of an individualized you know egomania and controlling so that’s really great so that’s that that’s a new that’s a new licensed work of the franchise of The Flintstones or is that one is that something from the past an experiment in making older Hanna Barbera characters into more modern that’s what it what you want what you say is very very real and what we could divorce hearing to a politics discussion. we are actually seeing the results all the excessive bloating and capitalism right now with everything that’s happened has a way of rebelling sing itself so we’re probably right now at to one extreme about women’s rights and lack of women’s rights and disparity and will probably swing back to something more equal and even if it will take picture of several several years right right so something interesting historical phenomenon that I discovered around Kink that I’d love to see if you have any any material on Earth looked at as if there was a time I guess it was I don’t know the exact date range but it was Weimar Germany after World War where there was such Financial Devastation that this whole economy of dominatrix is kind of from became extremely prevalent and just it was probably the most I don’t guess you could say extreme or or just the most public moment in time where the sex worker economy around Kink was just flourishing but in some tightness in some ways in a very Sinister way because people just had to do what they had to do and so I don’t know there’s there’s a really negative characterizations of what was happening in her some extreme things happening that you would consider to be some of the worst human-rights violations and studied that. In that that place at all and if you have any thoughts about it and is it that the holes author of the book called voluptuous Panic which High reviews on my website by the way Witcher really goes beyond the stereotypes of the Weimar Republic and explains the Dynamics the mechanism social mechanisms behind that kind of economy that kinds all the collect Social Clubs and the rise of Nazism and let’s say it was involuntary but it became the one example MP3 of mankind where you could see what a limited access to any kind of sex any kind of can’t go do to society and it was very positive and negative and it it really cannot be summarized in them in a few phrases but everybody knows not see is a burnt books and nobody kind of remembers that the first book but burning was the library of The Institute Forest search of sexuality of Magnus hirschfeld who was the first sex ologist to study King well this is this message means a lot about the importance of a sex-positive you all the time of sex and health the point is this is really a key concept I found it in my my research in my life when you learn to question where are you you learned that being is not always bad that quality is not always better in a specific context at Mt. See other ways of interpreting your world any you started to develop a critical view of everything not just within the field of sex but then when you were here a politician at on television saying he has your best interest in mind maybe use you start questioning maybe you start questioning why saying gay people should have married or things like that and this kind of Liberty critical thinking can be very dangerous for some kind of governments and that this right now with my States of America right so you know without getting yourself in any trouble so I guess I’m curious what the what your thoughts are on the Catholic church in its I guess you would have a a very interesting you know set of insights just giving you your geography there but yes you know things are on not so easy to summarize again because it is very easy way easy to generalize different that a very wide view on how to sing but generally speaking play the Catholic church has been a victim of itself and its effects and it has grown to be a really evil force came out to just a few weeks ago cool the last and I think it is and it is a very rigorous analysis the papers the letters of the sentences of the inquiry and police work about the Catholic church and pedophilia the portrait it gives a visit of a part of this organization is a Beyond chilling it you see when you think you’re all that I need a little gas station you might be think of Spectre from the James Bond movies off of a church of course and so it is very hard to generalize but having said this again when in time mental freedom of religion Surah of the far-right see themselves as endangered and this is why I pay strike back at Freedom what is happening right now so are you now I’m glad that you brought that up because it’s very much my kind definitely doing a secrecy but it certainly my mission and in purpose in life to help people understand that repression in zep generating perpetrators of all kinds so that’s a simple truism put on what what I discovered just within the last couple years is that there is a historical fact about historical fact that there was a decision made sometime soon I think in the 1500s or don’t quote me on that I don’t have the reference it right in front of me but there was an in an exact moment where decision was made within the Catholic Church to to disallow its clergyman from reproducing and having children progeny because it was basically leaking assets out of the financial Financial the coffers of the church were basically being drained by the fact that they’re clergyman where we producing so the way to to control more of the wealth of the church was to choose to actually make a to declare that celibacy was was going to be a mandatory and that single event to my understanding is what has been has been the result of the cause the Cascade of obviously the repression and then that manifesting is the pedophilia so that’s a pretty Stark it’s mortifying people throwing your hands up in the air to try to understand what’s going on it was if this is generally accepted to be a fact then it is the greed and the lust of money that has betrayed and put in Peril and caused this horrific harm to so many children around the planet all because of this financial gain prerogative do you have any knowledge of that if I could pull it up on Wikipedia and probably make it a lot more concise and clear but I figured you might have some knowledge of that that shift that occurred in that what she described I believe the proven that has many different sources many different types of that’s Concord to creating the situation and actually sexual repression begin began and the Bible Church began around the year 1000 any organized church is a recording good organization so be seeking donations or a stool King people people people or distress people is a very good way to accumulate wealth for overtime under the point to all the church is not to be with it just teddy bear do I have been doing it for thousands of years and they will keep doing it and in the end you will have us with a situation such as unfortunately my home country where a very large part of the real estate is owned by the church and I never want to leave early influence in politics and Society I know if you know this but see your I need to leave to come on the four newspapers to have one or two pages all the church comments on the everyday facts Even Flow related in any way to religion and this is what you know again building a culture of them critical thinking is the best weapon against this beat against to any church not just a Catholic one or any kind of repressive regime just takes loss crying Willam so in that film I saw that I didn’t read the book but I did see the film of The DaVinci Code and it did that was the first time I heard that the the the term God’s Mafia and when you looking at I looked at the penitentials did you study that. Where the basically created a price sheet for every sin they could think of from every form of state so that was an important turning point in the monetization of sin and I guess you could call it a spiritual extortion because the threat of hell and Damnation is a is sort of like a an L A Street gang coming up to your taco stand and saying you’re going to pay tribute to the gang or we’re going to and will provide you protection from other gangs ID the devil and angel and demon see how it sits it interesting racquet and interesting form of extortion based on an invisible looming threat that’s completely metaphysical and and contrived you know I don’t know in but based on real real well I guess patterns of fear but this whole into spiritual intermediary that extract money from you when you send that’s quite a a business model and can you talk about your I think I don’t really understand what the Vatican is that considered to be the the headquarters of the entire the sort of the capital of the Catholic church but it’s it’s like a compound it’s a fortress it’s it’s got and username Cloud a very small one with him the city of Rome and then you probably know it’s boundary one of his boundary which is but some Peter Square What weather the great Basilica is the pope held out the window and this has allowed it to to be completely immune to any kind of control by the states surrounding it and by any of his wife were example of which are acting you into a traditional system anywhere so for example to you earlier on you see how when one police Works inquiry is it gets to the point where we’re at a guilty verdict is expected in spinal expected to just get some Buscopan protection get a citizenship and had to stay with them their title or to work as a diplomat again it would be unfair to put rate as an entirely evil organization or a you know in and it’s something that was only for a for a personal enrichment to loss of of good works there is no doubt that historically that I have done much more damage if they all want to protect students Nazi is from persecution protecting them for the travel in the States from from Justice by off the one at people at the stake literally for a circle heresy which basically and generally only man to that they were a large part of the real estate Specialists Church won’t they neck deep into this pedophilia so you know it’s very very hard for me to be benign with them but it isn’t even as simple as just a few of your sentence is a whore missing for vacation like to The Da Vinci Code Fallout version right yeah that’s a it is very complex from your studies 7th what how are the spinning this media disaster this public relations disaster of the pedophile priests what’s their I mean do they have a department that’s that’s working to have a Consultants how are they avoiding mass m agency that there could be a day where enough evidence is gathered throughout the world for a new form of some human rights violation you can call it spiritual abuse or where it’s they actually have to pay reparations for every I mean imagine there being an international class action lawsuit has some teeth where they would be forced to pay reparations to people just bear with me for a second while I I kind of try to put this into words but if it’s in any other let’s say if you were a chemical manufacturing company that distributed a product all throughout the world that and they covered up that there was mercury in the product or some controlled you know toxic degenerative substance that ended up causing people to have deformities and cancer in their teeth and hair to fall out or whatever and you had the right team of scientists and and lawyers and human rights organizations and Watchdog groups were they could actually build a case where people who had been afflicted by this this chemical product could actually stand together and claim major damages and I feel like that’s I would hope that there is some effort to organize the victims of Catholic spiritual sexual abuse and for there to be reparations and compensation on a mass scale I mean if they do that with letters sometimes from car manufacturers that say you know basically if you purchased a vehicle of this model make and model from this time frame you are now entitled to claim thousands of dollars in Damages because we got you know a class action lawsuit that you wouldn’t even heard about it so imagine just everyday everyone who’s ever been you know forced into Catholicism by any means you know they could claim yeah I was I was indoctrinated by priests you know whether or not the molesting a person her or not there’s to sort of a a corruption that is just absolutely what’s the word should be implicated at a broad-scale and I don’t know if that’s I mean I don’t know if you see that as being realistic or if there’s any effort force it and it has everything you described Easter already there are class actions International inquiries sentences but the basic difference between a car manufacturer for example and the and the church and this church particular is better, a picture is a subject to the same laws that you and I are subjected to where is it the church to its lowest only because of you know as soon as things turned bad for them as well because we have a secret tribunal and the actual did charge of the case and Demeter doubt a sentence of penance if of course the fact it is proved by us not about you and this is it’s because you know you would have to be I’m sorry you have to be oh basically you you have to be to accept the singer you. You don’t have to punish him because you know the church is about love so we love our seniors and then and that’s it again by somebody and then cooled Emiliano City party and it’s actually the the sequel to The greed which explored the financial sense of the Catholic church and I’m looking I’m looking for a John on Amazon., and I don’t think there is an English edition yet but it is feeling because one of the things you discover and the public fax is it’s not a conspiracy theory I mean I have the papers even have a special office was only purpose is to negotiate with victims of a pedophilia and other scandals by Martha and look at the letters from these are special office that when you look at the payments you find out if I generally negotiate for Sam’s which one tenth of what is civil jury people who have been ballot where you have been indoctrinated where have been just don’t have that the instrument the tools to to fight back how would you fight back an organization with hundreds of thousands of men all around the world and it unlimited Financial power to destroy you so thank you for sharing all this stuff this is I’m getting the chills right now and so sounds like the the only way I would say if there was a a human rights organized and I would consider it a form of sex trafficking if you were if the church is is especially taking disadvantaged children Morse dispar disproportionately disadvantaged children who don’t have solid families or I mean that was what came out in that spot light research at Boston Globe investigation was that it was intended to be there like any predator has the is cunning enough to go after. Pray who are relatively helpless so if that was people from you no children that are orphans or broken from broken home or don’t have the family with the solid financial means to mount a defense or even pay attention or even care it’s obviously a systematic abuse of the easily exploitable and so you would think that sex trafficking nongovernmental organizations that are working to stop sex tourism and in all these other facets of of sexual slavery and trafficking would if they were to have to go. I’m going to start researching it’s a lot more because you’ve provided some very important insights that I just was ignorant to I guess what I’m my question for you now at this point is it seems like given the lack of jurisdiction that you were saying that they’re not subject to the laws and regulations in Judicial Systems of any other Nation or state that the only way that other the devicq the countries of the victims if they were to actually resist this alien power that gives them carte blanche for abusing children sexually with very little recourse that you would have to boycott the currency from that you have to somehow mark their bills and say you know you can spend money here it would be called I know what the word is it said you would impose economic sanctions you know embargo you can’t is dairy really in Neverending Topix explain about the Texas Tech system here I need to lie where are you I basically forced by the second law states to pay a small part of your tax money to the Catholic church for example to all the negotiation between the Vatican State and and Battalion state budget before I want to do that because it would be too long by I will give you an inside a hoe by Cardinal Savannah said it no more than 5% of priests does abused minors which beside the thing that you just won what they want man but doesn’t sound that bad until you know that there are about four hundred thousand priests around so 5% is about twenty thousand of them 20,000 child rapists by the church upchurch’s onam admission which is beyond feeling well well on that summer know. I think it’d be great to wrap up with maybe some of the most hopeful and invigorating and exciting positive Horizons that that you’re you’re keeping track of in the the world of Kink and BDSM and maybe you know whatever can help us kind of counterbalance that that exploration of the evil which I mean in maybe even things where we can see positive examples of people just shedding that dog, and that indoctrination and in carving out new cultural space for sex positive expiration with immorality that comes from Community standards that are are more kinky we concentrated on the Catholic church but really those are so different organizations and school so that’s it are very sick negative and there is only one common weapon against this and it is just sharing how late is searching for knowledge and openly discussing anything sex in Notting a it’s both our way but just because it is a very interesting topic has actually I just lost all connections to our subject you just have to fix your favorite subject and go from there keeping an open mind and nourishing feeding your curiosity for for life in general I mean in the end of what was meant to be a just a quick guide became a monster of a book all about 600 pages and it was so because when I started exploring the topic in detail I started the listing that it’s a relation to science to history to art to do so many different fields including you know pretty obvious things like the history of food for example or exploration off different countries end in the end I guess what what came out was a very comprehensive guide to BDSM of course but to also a great way to so many different forms of knowledge which should Wichita explore starting point for your explorations what in the where do you recommend people go obviously there’s fetlife.com which is probably would you consider FetLife to be the the most accessible widest Network for people to join and kind of Explorer I’m not sure yeah with that there’s other resources that you recommend or the largest social network for Four Kings jersey but this doesn’t mean it is all good whenever you have access to anything you have to remember that some information might not be tried and tested to maybe it is it is it lets buys did not for malicious reasons but just because people. Don’t fact check everything there they write so well maybe you have to take it with a pinch of salt I would humbly suggest people to come over and visit to Isaac. Com a y c a d well they can find loss and lost of resources not just what I ride but there is for example a student websites and our sources for every form of knowledge of a kink in general not just and then of course there is your local community and maybe you might not find this information we have a life people is right on and you are talked about your book that you mentioned but you mentioned to me that you were wanting to talk about do you want to so maybe you want to go to close on a note saying you can download the free preview for my website and so people can get their own idea what it is about oh great. Okay so yeah we’ll put that link in the show notes for sure and yeah if you have any final closing thoughts you want to share and we could talk for a horse and a sand by the way maybe if you’re interested we can do it again come over on my website and download the previous I believe that I could do okay go to and I will put the link in the show notes to the people can go and download the so it’s an English is the English translation of the book as an e-book on Amazon awesome well I guess I’ll take a breath here in and see if there’s any you have that as well yeah they are Maria called weather UCR I’m all right got it okay yeah well I would just like to say again thank you so much and really you were and there’s there’s a place in my heart for the scholars of of people who really have found their passion to be you know you want to call it a thority in the field but certainly a powerful reference you know Alexa Khan for for all of this material and it says it’s just really refreshing and really exciting and I feel that a lot of you know I guess you could say this about any subculture or or Nitch or no cultural phenomenon is it there is there’s people who are just kind of along for the ride and that’s great you know they don’t not everybody has to be a real scholar but putting in efforts to understand things but the people who take that time to curate the information so that people have access I really appreciate that and so you’re kind of a scribe as it were for this very interesting world and you’ve been able to answer some my most my most I guess I could say deepest darkest questions if your deepest darkest questions about this and you’re also helping helping me to open my my heart because I’ve been you know in some ways I guess by Oster disappointed or I can’t I have to admit that I’ve I’ve I’ve had some pretty negative experiences in the Kink BDSM world that have have kind of discolored my attitudes towards it so I’m I’m wanting to I open my heart and be more open and accepting an m in this this definitely helps me kind of fuel and move forward you know I guess there’s just been yeah some some Shadow transgressions that I have experienced at the hands of people who probably don’t have as much respect for the art form and the lifestyle that that you do so I’m hoping that yet people can kind of get more proper education if if if that’s the right way to say it or just saying and consensual so yeah on that note I think we’ll just call that a good intro episode and for sure will we will be at this again to keep track of of developments and you don’t actually know this will be the final question so you would be Fifty Shades of Grey what what it what are your thoughts on that you could take your time to I did it I’m just I’m I feel like I’ve we’ve had a good stopping point on for more question so you can just go on with that forasmuch as long as you want and we’ll call it a day oh there it is it really a kind of one but it is that people in the community hates Fifty Shades of Grey because of course it is not about romance is Nova that’s just to update the sum of a standard Pacific General so I mean I interviewed her and she was surprised by how the marketing department of a table stress around the world that has has a construed that her books as a sort all videos a manual or something like that because she said she only wanted to update the four show is he in a romance novel you usually have there’s a powerful man who comes from a far and takes that the lady from our daily trash and meet you there a difference in a dangerous world and this is strictly as being a favor French discount with his country Castle or the pyrates the captain of the sultan but today is probably a starving Somali fisherman and of course Sultan’s are mostly associated with Isis right now Politically Incorrect she just a member of that 1% we protested against to Anthony starcevic Centre in and just by accident mr. Christian Grey was into kinky twist nice words hasn’t updated is a staple off of romance novels which she is a rape people are always in our studies that prove that over 70% of the rare representations of rape in imprinting the media are concentrated in the romance novel Chandler forced seduction Christian Grey is a stool culture is obsessed he is dangerous he is obsessive and possessive and this view the book is it really dangerous because people have associated with Fifty Shades of Grey with powerfully alluring imagery but it doesn’t the pics so you can post I believe that correlates each publishing a book with a rare spike or 20% more accidents in your own related to to Kink music Ventures because you have to didn’t go to the ER and all the damages psychological Nature Coast by amateurs for online corn Buck should virgins and the luck of education is dangerous because people just as big as a habit of considering a sex and sexuality as it separated from him quotes real life Dante stop disregarding basic things like Elsa and Anna song and it is very dangerous and should really get information about Kingdom sex in general I always say it is better to have knowledge and choose not to use it and need knowledge not knowing where to get but and said this I believe that has a very big marriage which is to have shown the general population but uncommon forms of sex I’m not that bad after all our acceptable people can be good people can be happy anyway even if they are into bondage Alex and this is very good because a lot of prejudice is a better Siri right well that was a sobering analysis and I I’ve been a very that was absurd of absorbed by osmosis that there is a sense of detail station around it and I’ve just avoided it myself it’s I’ve got too busy with other things so I rely on I link a few of my articles about that you’re listening to make up your mind about that. Thank you for these topics and will definitely be in touch again and and explore future developments together all right take care have a great day. Please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the shop in addition of sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com Thomas Day