In this episode I’m joined by Matthew Schultz, a distinguished multi-media artist, musician and ceremonialist with a vast array of experience in both modern dark ambient experimental music and traditional shamanic ritual and ceremony. I discovered his work recently via the Psychedelic Salon podcast episode 607 and realized we have a lot in common. On parallel paths, we’ve both been evolving from unguided musical shadow practice, to seeking shamanic ceremony, and integrating higher consciousness and vibration based on our sonic discoveries and revelations.
We get to learn about his unique and adventurous music career, his diverse shamanic initiations and his personal struggles with reconciling music, medicine, magic, and the archetype of the sacred trickster.
We also commiserate on the rampant plague of “spiritual-bypass” and “light-washing” which keeps many in the new age scene from confronting dark truths within themselves, their spiritual communities, and beyond. We discuss the need to integrate a shamanic perspective an astral ecology and develop a modern scientific framework to understand astral parasites.
He provides a much needed catharsis for those who have been tip-toeing on the egg-shells of spiritual correctness. It was an exquisite joy to be able to compare notes and share many deep healing laughs about the state of the world. A moderate dose of cynicism is counter balanced by a heroic dose of divine love and light that is truly contrasted by a clear gaze into the dark abyss. Ultimately we share great positivity, hope, and enthusiasm for an ever more enlightened future as old paradigms melt away and the psychedelic movement moves towards more of a “localvore” approach to cultivating and harvesting medicine species.
Matthew John Schultz is a multimedia artist, musician, inventor, sculptor and indigenous practitioner. He was a founding member of Pigface and the dark ambient band Lab Report that included such diverse musicians as Genesis Breyer P-Orridge, and Lydia Lunch. Schultz also invented the A.T.G. or Anti Tank Guitar and utilized this instrument with both bands. In total, Schultz has appeared on over 29 cds with 9 solo productions and 2 feature film soundtracks (Ivan’s XTC and Snuffmovie) for Hollywood director Bernard Rose.
In 2010, Schultz manifested the esoteric and ancient fraternal order of The Division which reconstructed ancient spells and rituals. Mantras is the first in a trilogy of discs that express all aspects of The Division. Matt’s latest release is Mandalas. This album contains binaural beats and tones to aid in meditation and dream states.
Matt has also spent time in Peru working at an Ayahuasca healing center as a facilitator. He has worked with Lakota elders for over a decade and was initiated by Mayan elders in 2010. He is a water pourer and peace pipe carrier. He continues to be involved in indigenous medicine ceremonies of many varieties and runs sweat lodges outside of Chicago, Illinois.
To view his fine artwork, mandalas, music and more please visit
To visit his website for his sweat lodges please go to
To friend him in Facebook please go to
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast episode number 204 I’m being joined by Matt Schultz and he is really a jack-of-all-trades and nygma and an Intrigue to me now discovering his work based on the 2nd of ixalan podcast and he was on a on an episode recently that I heard in a really it really piqued my interest because we have a lot of residents in common ground in the extreme and underground and experimental music scene he’s got work in the pig face send lab report and he’ll tell us all about his his music scoring and soundtracks and really being a doing his sort of wizard witchcraft Alchemy in that space and also evolving into a someone who is Shaman escorts Shaman assure someone work within that those ceremony around tonight in that I weren’t just want to make an extra note to say that I feel like they’re I know you know that being in the various different scenes and Circles of of Ceremonies that there’s there’s definitely a cohort that is kind of post music industry or sort of post kind of not maybe some rock stars but definitely lots of just different people who been in the underground in the extreme music genres who find their way to ceremony either through their own rehab and Recovery or true just now getting bored what’s happening on stage in the entire world is a lot of paths that lead to it but it’s beautiful always to see the transformation of one’s people get switched onto sacred frequencies and toning chakras and 432 and cymatics I mean that’s that was my Story 2 of of having aha moments about understanding music and in in sound healing and want to be part of more than the solution unless it the Prof of somatic we speak and say I can’t wait to hear all about you and your journey it sounds like we do have a lot in common and I and I hurt and I do I’ll put a link to that that episodes people can catch up on that too but but feel free to just tell us all about your your your Evolution musically and spiritually and we’ll go into some of the issues that are going to give us a funny show title and we’ll reveal that later that’s great thank you so much for having me on it really is an otter and just chatting with you beforehand it’s true it there’s this it’s nice finding a resonant frequencies amongst people you know and it would this would be great talking to you so thanks again thanks for having me on. Yeah it’s it’s interesting cuz it has been a long path man is been a long path and I would say most kind of go back to the beginning here I did a lot of experimental film work when I was really young and started doing it because I’ve been thinking about this a lot to bring us up together podcast I wasn’t interested in playing music as I was in creating tones and I didn’t even know this is a kid and I remember buying this guitar and I would tip is Kemah stats and I clip them on like the second string down and stay like the top thing was like no Daddy right and I would use my fingers in the end of the hemostat and then like kind of isolated so that I can add to take the string in a Perpetual drone you know and I was completely fascinated by this capability of just creating these drone Tonk Central Illinois in the country I had no idea you know this is a long time ago and said it was his idea that I wanted a creepy stones and I was completely unaware of why I want to do that right but I I put headphones on these just monolithic drone tones and now I’m looking back on it I really do think that was like this this had to be a thing where I was affecting like the root chakra is it could be that the second chakra I’m trying to do something depending on my bike tuning then you know and without even knowing what I was doing and I think of years later that led then to the construction of the antitank guitar and I built this large stringed instrument and it had 10 strings on a basically the six were the same spacing is guitar in the other four were is the same spacing is a bass guitar instrument was 8 ft long and had a bridge 5ft the bridge to bridge is 5 feet and you know I use 18 gauge like string wire you know to the crate tones with this tank and again I was more about creating two things one would be like the tone and then the other would be that I retrieve these atmospheres to again you know what that time I had my own kind of definition of what I was doing but now looking back on it it was really just steadfast Shadow practice you know I mean with the other two band members we were creating pretty horrific sound Fields Miss I would put it and that really struck me as I was capturing the the collective unconscious of American culture and it was listen to it back it would be just absolutely horrific you know so again and I don’t even mention his name of the podcast a lot of that shadow practice was a form of catharsis for me it was cathartic and I wanted to listen to kind of go like holy cow you too let’s move away from this again it was okay Oka right like the sacred clown you know what I’m talking about the Hellcat a sacred clown like a Lakota sacred clown it’s it you know I do things that you shouldn’t do or the opposite of what’s normal to tell you what is normal like don’t do this right so so anyway I kind of sick think some of that early a shadow practice was exactly that you know it was creating this just nightmare horse Cape that could express to The Listener we’re not to be you know in a in a strange way and mind you this way predates like any new age you know we’re talkin like 80s New Age movement was extremely small back then are virtually unheard up you know the whole thing about total therapy and chakra tones and stuff like this was just completely unheard of so again I think it was a lot very intuitive practice which we can talk about later to like getting into chaos magic in this kind of following your intuition so I did that and then Martin Atkins from pigface he was in a different band at the time uniform pick base and he came to me was sitting form in this project you want to be involved and of course I did they were industrial Roxbury Chicago you know we’re talking 90 now it’s very Chicago Industrial Rock Ministry was just really keep getting into before men and by 91 or two we put out the first bass records that went on tour with that and again I really wasn’t too interested in in I mean I like industrial music and stuff but I was really there to do kind of this sustained tonal in a 18 minute intro for the show and I always considered it like a magic spell that we’re putting on the audience so they are like I have Sheltie do that spell will have them build it up and then they would come out and do their spells right and so I did that for a while and then after that I started working with Bernard Rose who did the movie Candyman and he was doing some Independent films now we’re in the late 90s by this point again I’ve been putting out solo records this whole time and I started doing horror movie soundtracks for him I mean directly did snuff movie and some tracks on iTunes ecstasy it said it was fun and I think that was probably more the conclusion of that kind of style of music you know that formative years let’s say and give it a little break its mid-2000s now I’m starting to hear about sacred medicines and Ayahuasca and frequencies all the stuff starting to come to fruition or at least to me and let’s see by 2007 I started working with Lakota Elder in Southern Illinois and doing sweat lodges and learning to be a fire tender or being a fire tender and learning to pour lodges and I did that for years and then I hooked up with some Mayan elders and spent a couple years on and off in Guatemala and Mexico with the Mayan Elders learning from them doing Thomas Carl’s there and and then one day they’re like Hayward initiating you and it was the Frog medicine and that had to be panically the most intense experience I’ve ever had like I helped you might really made Ayahuasca look like marijuana to in my definition that was very potent and it wasn’t necessary the Frog medicine as much as it was the datura they use a lot of datura and I and again posthumously so to speak I found out through research on the back end really what was going on to some degree with their medicine practices and I started practicing with some Shaman so Iowa skero’s here in the states that were from Brazil travel the world with them walk the Camino ended up in Peru working at Ayahuasca Center outside of Iquitos and now I’m back and I pour sweat lodges and I’m writing a book that’s a cautionary tale about sacred medicine in indigenous practices so there you go that’s that’s the nutshell awesome so yeah I I love hearing about all this and just to give the listeners a visual I looked it up on Wikipedia The anti-tank guitar I believe I can imagine you named that because it looks like a missile launcher A and B that seriously the the low bass tones I would use the woven garage door cable like in your garage that makes the garage doors go up and down right so woven cable and I have these humbucker pickups you know I mean we would use that like we would tour and and we would have you bring I forgot what a writer at it was like what they faced it was something like whenever 618 dual subwoofers and we would marry that up to the house system and I just push everything of the house system up to theirs you know what I mean in the end if people didn’t you know like we get there to a show at the venue and a promoter do you like you know who this is common to we can give you what you wanted what you going to do not play you know it’s a lot of times I can hold you captive and I remember a sound guy would go like mad can you go up there and Sanchez sound check that atg just a straight electric guitar right but these subspecies low bass strings for subsonic I mean I can and so what I do is I would use this knurled rod and I would agitate the screen again all the way back to my childhood right I would add to take the string and it would sound like somebody had a Nebo you know that the vibrating magnetic vibrating device for guitar strings one of their tops and so they would throttle the PA and then every time they be like that you know that Michael could you hit the low in and I would slap that bottom string and it would just shut the Pas off everything else this is total true story First shows we did with it I believe Houston or Dallas where were the Butthole Surfers were from and we were opening up is when the only time we opened up her cuz we’re headlining act but we opened up for the Butthole Surfers and it was a sold-out show it’s been you five thousand people there and you know that they come to you to go to your introspect I feel like I mean this is one of the first live shows in front of thousands of people I’ve ever perform on stage and I might start my interest very high and I could have taken almost minutes before I get to these lohit beats right well it’s so loud that I can hear it on stage which you know it’s musician a lot of things you can only hear your amp early on stage kiss the Pas in front of you right it’s very hard for you to be absorbed in the Pas on cuz if you worry about getting back anyway right I remember that it was so loud that all the pedals of everybody’s effects on the floor of the stage we’re literally bouncing across the stage and I absolutely I just knew I was like man this is going to end up happy in Guelph and I hit that low strength and it shut down the entire PA I mean like and I are sound asleep hoping he was like that every single switch is just to shut it the whole thing off right they had to repower it up and the audience of course. She know cuz I’m building up this energy right and I’m starting a load going for these guys just Rising drone and it came back on it had to be like 1/3 the volume and yeah they say stuff some of the stuff I’m working on now is the idea of being completely engulfed in that sound you know yeah man things I want to talk about regarding your the music all the tech some of the technical musical stuff and then get into the the medicine work where I think is it it really there’s going to be a lot of fun fun stuff in there but I’m curious so you this is something that for me I didn’t discover this but it came basically like a modern tantric yoga Guru figure came into my life the way that Tyler Durden came into the life you know in that movie and it was very a very ballbusting authoritarian smash your Paradigm you know rubbing your face in your own shit kind of initiation with that type of personality but he was a classic like a very well-respected music industry equipment manufacturer like he was basically making old-school analog equipment because he believed so strongly that the digitization of all the music was really not only just bastardizing at a dumbing it down but actually like destroying the the safety the sacred healing properties and he discovered that by studying cymatics so when he showed me the same out of scope videos was years ago now that was became what what I wanted to start tuning everything to my voice my instruments you know and then straight going down at 4:30 to kind of conspiracy rabbit rabbit hole and I got to know yet what your story of 432 and cymatics how that has has played out for you if those things as if you had some some aha moment along the way where you you know I have that kind of initiation of Sonic vibration initiation if you owe rudimentary aspect of it you know they teach you in these these cuz I like cello bows and the ebo to generate Perpetual drone it’s right and but again this is before I knew all this stuff so to me in retrospect you know it’s too bad I didn’t know what I know now because those intros could be like they would be much more of a man a true magic spell in the sense of you know if I have all the notation you know if they are like it’s it’s the standard C D E F sharp GA chakra from root chakra all the way to the crown chakra right so you could cycle the people through which is what I do in my sweat lodges with singing bowls so unlike the Lakota my my Lodge is Multicultural so I bring some lakotas the Mayan some other stuff and my singing bowls and I’ll spin through those chakras in the sweat lodge and so to me that’s kind of like part of that that journey travel right for the for the participant are you going to just cleaning house in the way while also being in the lodge know when the cymatics came around and again I can’t even tell how long ago that was when I when I ran across that do you know of a Buchanan I just oh my god I think I’m going to have to double-check the name Buchanan yes sound healer that actually invented like a machine that can selectively locate you whatever your cancer and then he’ll find the appropriate frequency to destroy that cancers out of Reno Nevada right and so I’m sorry to Robert Buchanan yeah I had gone out to Reno with some friends to visit him cuz they knew him and he took us to his laboratory and I mean he literally wrote the book on cymatics and somatic sound healing right and he’s got a spa so they’re in Reno and he’s also a conductor of the orchestra that means a really fascinating man and he kind of these little things of water and then he was coming up with all the somatic shapes and stuff in this is the first time I’ve seen this and it was after very recently after my Mayan experience so you know I was so blown open from that experience that I when I came back from Guatemala I was making all these mandalas and what I was doing was kind of incorporating the actual visual cymatic quality of the sound wave depending on the notation into the mandala so that if you listen to the song This is the eventual goal this if you go to my mandalas project if you go to match.com you can go to the mandala then and that’s called like or you can go to the actual website the mandala event.com and what it is is it has the stomach that was that I made and songs that they wrote using binaural beats which is also another thing we can talk about but it also uses of cymatics so like for instance I have the chakras as a visual cymatic poster a graphic that I created right and then you can listen to that notation at the same time and to me that’s a meditative practice that drives it all the way home because you’re forcing the visual as well as those are all right well that’s what they want for their supposed to be what you want isn’t mantras together right yes cool man well that’s amazing so and then it’s for the people who are not aware of cymatics in the same a task open this whole science do you can you put it in into your words I don’t think I’ve ever mention that I may have mentioned before on the show but but it’d be great to have you kind of give it an intro overview on what that is how I know I’m not an expert on any of this the idea is that Whatever frequency that you’re broadcasting right it’s going to create a like I say if you put water down or sand on a metal plate that’s one device that they’ve created it’ll create a visual representation right of the sound wave and so to me it worked more with like the hidden messages of water that in Moto but you know this idea that like your language creates a frequency that the water is reciprocal can receive okay so this gets into magic than this whole idea of like Abracadabra write these ideas of magic so you’re creating frequencies that the liquid will literally take on a physical representation of that frequency right so that gets you back to what you were talking about what she was like before 3 to tuning is the correct tuning for health and Universal well-being as opposed to what I and I get I don’t even know what the other what tuning do we use nelacar western or 4:40 is the Nazi conspiracy tuning that we have to go research that’s exactly right why are we here now because of 440 tuning right there’s some great documentaries are some really funny kind of spooky ones to online on YouTube but it’s it’s pretty amazing what some of these Millennials are doing with with YouTube and and fair use kind of phone hacking Montage V yeah it’s amazing some of the stuff on 432 I’ll just blow your mind in that pattern is just a visual representation in a lot of times if you do look at these different mandalas they are a visual representation of that so I can’t it I don’t know I’m not a you know I’m not a professional in this I don’t know the history of this and that you can follow it like you were actually brought that up earlier you can follow this culturally back you know to through many different cultures right yeah that’s what I’ve been told is that it’s it’s basically natural organic instruments kind of default to these to be some intervals or this December standard and he will say it’s the residents of the Earth and space safely you’re tuning yourself to the to the Earth frequency in that when when when the baddies figured out that they could create disease and agitation and disruption on the cellular level than they basically they had an elaborate conspiracy that’s pretty historically you know that you can I don’t I don’t have all the facts memorized and there aren’t there is some debate obviously about some of the more conspiratorial aspects but it’s very interesting the actual the actual what is factually known about this process that was used that was kind of a ruse like a rigged election to vote on which should be the standard tuning and the characters behind some of that rigging or people that we would think there’s distasteful character is in the history of politics it thanks but it’s interesting that yes no I mean that completely makes sense to me that completely makes the most simple emotional level like I mean I think even Beyond you know the technicality of the 4:40 or the universe has the 432 Hertz tuning horror movie you know it it’s it’s causing that this evidence that it’s not the visuals that are so horrific as much as it is the sound design you know and it don’t spoil you learn that in in your sound production companies you know our class has him so I’d say if it’s the idea that you know there is this sharp stop right and it goes to something else so which way you can almost like I could give you the laghetti or penderecki score from The Shining you know it ain’t that goes like you know it’s that pluck that’s the condo that creates this like shift in your body it startles you you know I don’t see how I mean I think that does kind of support the 440 not to see if there is a bad tuning right yeah so yeah I totally see that you know that we interesting attitude knowing that you have this the background in creating the the horror movie soundtracks can we zoom in a little bit on that and sort of what that’s a sort of bitters at that’s a ceremony of you’re creating and you’re making that music and you’re feeling into the Vibes of you know the director or the storyline and what not what would you say and I think that is it’s important that we were that’s all lessons hopefully we watch these movies and we become better people after we watch them cuz we see oh my God I’m about like two more relationships away from acting like that guy who’s the new that I almost feel like if you don’t if you don’t express your Shadow and dance with your Shadow then then obviously we’ll run you unconsciously and so I think there is a important place for for owning and in respecting these film genres even in in not trying to demonize them as it were until you have played a role in in channeling and hopefully in the air with a sense of ultimately doing good or better and are helping helping Souls evolved dino by exposing the steps I’m just curious if you could talk about like what how that felt or how that feels see you when you still into those rounds in that energy and then you allow it to possess you to create tones and and scores and stuff like that so interesting well then you could you bring up bring up a great point because I’d have to say and I’m going to dress this first while it’s fresh in my memory I dissolve lab report because there was a social because I realize you had to be responsible and I think we were being irresponsible I really do that project was completely dissolved because I thought it was being taken in the wrong direction it was being worshiped and adored when it should have been repulsive and and horrifying the people and we would you know this is back in the day before the internet right and so we had you know what y’all near album you put out that you got signed a record it was old school right we got signed to a record label I mean the first record we put out was actually final you know and and then the second record again I had Genesis Breyer p-orridge on Lydia lunch and so you know there is some big names coming in and we were creating quite a a horrific sound and we would get fan mail it stopped and I would always respond to this but quite frankly I found most of it just utterly disturbing you know and to me like the Helga II again Timbaland so empowering in really meet people where they’re at and as I’m thinking like this him in hearing you speak I feel like the if I had to explain to somebody who never heard the word Tantra before and you’ll people ask me to clients and we’re not where should I begin and what should I read and certainly there’s I really enjoy Urban Tantra by Barbara carrellas and also the jewel in the Lotus and also the complete idiot’s guide to tantric sex this one ever had I’m waiting for this I’m waiting I’ve been waiting for something like this every time yeah I just praise here at your style and approach and I really think the what it brings together is it just these two words kind of came to me these two terms just like that the self-help genre and the self-help movement is something that is sort of its kind of made fun of or it’s not it’s not really taking totally seriously or it’s kind of like oh yeah you’re there something wrong with you and if you were normal you would you would not need to go that route so it’s kind of like a weird thing where you might you might lose respect for yourself even by questioning that or thinking what am I to you having a midlife crisis I don’t need that you know what is going on but then with Tantra it’s so there’s such a almost like a martial arts kind of level of self-mastery and self-discipline I really is the sort of Jedi training and I think you bring that you sent the size those two for me those two opportunities where it’s like yeah you you’re actually using courage and bravery and becoming a warrior but then you’re doing all this really touchy feely deep emotional work and that should that should take care of people’s hesitation to go either on a warrior path or on a more self-help spiritual path that gives you your compelling people to take both and for when men I think they they seek that out maybe they seek the warrior path more than the spiritual path but there’s I think there’s a lot of marketing and hype around that for men but this is really good tip for a loved one country women’s use the word Fierce and they invoke that that energy and they Empower femininity with with that those archetypes so could you talk maybe a bit about what that means to you the that just reconciling masculine or feminine Shiva Shakti really kind of bringing these tools of of strength and resolve and discipline to two women who may be of this been crushed by patriarchy you know for Generations oh yeah that’s a big question right there yeah and that’s I mean being crushed by Peter I came that’s definitely why I wrote the book and I actually why you were talking I just wanted to mention that I have a section on their on you know telling women to how to stop denying that masculine energy or also men love because I find that you know because you know a lot of the women I work with the idiot had just bad experiences with men or with times that they’ve stepped into their masculine energy and so they’ve just been very hurt by it and then they sort of backed away from it and you know I try to work with them on you know it’s about housing balance of Both Worlds and really understanding what the masculine is and also the ways in which masculine and men have been disempowered you know and really starting to take ownership of that you notice a lot of times women are like you know when I start bringing in the masculine they’re like okay I know I bet that’s like to heavy like that kind of energy that they don’t want to work with that energy and they don’t want to explore that energy and so I say okay you know there’s there’s no pressure and there’s no rush cuz you got to do what feels right to you and a lot of time they seem. Just by like stepping in to do that feminine energy because it is fierce right it is courageous it is powerful like you said there is not Warrior quality to it I’m still by simply die do something like this to summon and energy you actually calling up you know those masculine aspect you’re calling up that strength that where your strength at the same time without really realizing it so unconsciously and and you’re bringing those forces them to bounce and I’ve seen that a lot of times with women that I’ve worked but I’m really like surprised at how the feminine wild like this actually you know it’s soft there is softness in the feminine but as you claim it and as you’re able to fearlessly stick with that and embrace set and embodying it naturally you know.. Here’s mess. Power starts to rise time to help stabilize their energy and so it’s pretty much really a magical thing it’s pretty amazing and so I have this part in my book about you know how to really heal yourself from what you thought maybe you know how house Gary masculine energy might be some time I’m sure there are practices that really going to that and yeah and then that’s really a big part of my work to because a man I mean we are in need of some major balance here on this planet and in this life in this world so I really feel the more that we can Embrace anybody and I’m leaning into the feminine that is rising right now in the more we can scan with that the more that we can make space for on the masculine to heal and balance and a bike ride but like Reno really hot like it in excess right but Valance in such a way that it kind of comes down to meet the famine in so that this beautiful kind of dance can emerge Amor Harmony and that would just make such a huge total impact and we just within the body the container of one individual body being able to fuse and merge those energies so powerful yeah I’m really is why I do what I do awesome yeah I can say from experience from the first couple of experiences and session work that I experienced with you then I really got I was able to feel the force so you know that if we’re going to be using that Jenna archetype you know in in there if you want to call Kundalini Shakti goddess energy which is I love calling I love I love hearing of Kundalini as a salmon in force and you were the one who activated that for me and it was just very unusual yeah I remember like it was yesterday and so I appreciate it in you you can get really philosophical and really theoretical but grounding everything into practices to make it as a workbook almost it sounds like this is amazing so you and it’s something that has to be felt in the body to really know what it is yeah it’s hard it’s hard to find words nothing will thank you for all that great work do you feel kind of complete as in that in this kind of brief introduction but but pretty I think it’s a pretty good overview I definitely thrilled to to go deeper with it and others will be as well so I wanted to give the bulk of this episode to this important news of promoting and getting the word out about the book and then but also address questions that I’ve had as a sort of I’ve become a sort of meta Godparent to a lot of different mothers who were rebranding as independent mothers who are in various stages of Court battles with baby daddies for custody and for child support and and I’ve just checking on this sort of I decided I’m not going to reproduce biologically all of my vasectomy but I will reproduce culturally by my being short playing that that more of a Shimano roll in peace and also keeping a little bit of distance from that that this is a an ancient sword of time tree thing of if you are not to be the guru per se but to be an Adept you may have to disengage from householding because there’s just so much mundane kind of learning and things you got to sit through so your country path is always going to be kind of a balancing act between how much of a household are you going to be and what roles are going to have within a community and then how far out you get to go on your own into your mystical practices so I have taken that past of offsetting my my familial obligations a bit so that I could study things from afar and then just go to be this force of will hopefully an Angelic sort of force supporting women who are in different degrees of Crisis that’s just a little bit of a of a context for why it’s important for me now to reconnect with you in a n n learn from you and share your teachings about Tantra parenting the pattern that has been emerging in the question is being asked of me and the view is is how does a woman who has just recently given birth and going through all these different chemical changes and hormonal changes how do you what’s the advice on keeping that spark of love and attraction alive with the baby daddy partner what are some some tricks and tips that you would recommend for for that really critical bonding you know six segments of Life first of all I’m not going to lie. I think the first thing to do is I mean really too kind of except that it’s not going to be the same but. It’s actually you know like I said with you know what having kids how you’re able to look at the things that really matter to you that was so when you actually are with your partner and you have those moments you know they might be less but we are going to be amazing because you are fully present and you’re showing up each moment you know and the end of a lot of for me it’s like when I first became a mom so I had my first son and it was really hard I was just like what cuz I was Dino stole so focused on your child and really wanted to be there to nurture that I and you are you know you’re you’re so deep into it into motherhood and it’s so new everything is so new and exciting and exhausting but I am in a few months I was just like oh my gosh like how how does this work how do we make this work and it was really really difficult very difficult but I found that by you know because I’ve had my kids almost 8 years now until I found that really what we eat sometimes you know if if we need to say like make an appointment with each other and that’s what we have to do if we have to put it on the calendar they okay these are the the two or the three days a week that were scheduling for ourselves for intimacy for connection then that’s we’re going to do that first there was a struggle because my husband’s like okay this isn’t sexy yo after he got over that initial thing it was like okay like we can do this we can make time for this we can we can be intentional about it for us really had to do that because not only was it you know hard navigating with kids now but also the work you know work in the balance of that it was just really tough so that was one of the things that we did the other thing that I want to say is that sometimes you know you you have good intentions but I got at the end of the day you’re exhausted and and then you just end up wanting to just sit there and whatever you want to do watch TV or you know just go to bed until I always like to say that really if you really want to keep that sparked going not to give up just because you feel like okay you know I don’t have that energy right now or I don’t have the time to put into this right now to really see and used Contra in a way that it’s really meant to be experienced right because Todd’s are really isn’t just all about sex right and having that fat set spark Tundra is it much deeper than that and so sometimes you have to tell yourself like okay even though we don’t have time to make love right now maybe maybe it’s just about lying down next to each other synchronizing out of breath making that I contact I’m falling asleep to that I’m letting that be enough you know before you know this night or this week or whatever it is like in the beginning it’s not to really put so much pressure on yourself but to use Simple practice is like you know that you have your own position and just sitting there together and being or maybe you know it’s one night you really need a massage right now you know I really just after having a long day or a long week and be with the kids so much that’s what I really need so communicating that to your partner and really staying in touch with that and not being embarrassed or not feeling like it’s too much or too much of a burden or whatever it is just really being clear about what you deeply need I’m in a lot of that comes down to really checking in you know with yourself all the time and seeing what’s there I really feel like things like that even though you know you might be cuz it’s also self-care right so you’re able to connect with your partner in that way and then you’re also able to have that time must be nurtured and a slowing down which is also key so I think everyone is going to work differently and it’s going to be unique for all of us but it’s really about finding those opportunities to stay consistent to really stay connected in those small tangible ways and mlc really accepting that it’s okay that you know your relationship has changed the amount of time might be able to have to devote to one another Soul has changed I’m not true but you can actually take all that and evolve it into something in a lot of cases that really goes much deeper than that you know because now it’s it’s amazing you know you have this this connection and you know going through motherhood and Emma strikes that that gives you time to actually be able to take that foundation and that strength and that those nurturing abilities and that expression being able to use that with your partner in your relationship I’m having that Foundation really can make me very powerful in a way that’s unexpected just as amazing as you always bring it back to the fundamentals of the practices this is not all hot air to talk about it tell about doing it doing the work and I just feel like it makes me think that I can think of I mean I know some couples will have the foresight to at least make prenuptial agreement but I can’t think of anyone who they actually said we are going to go through the most insane trans transformation of everything we know we can if its first time parents who have no clue what to expect and they and what if they were to get these to be the eye of a storm throughout anyting that’s the Abbey unless Ty gazing the synchronized breathing you can’t touch that space with anything so but but pure Bliss and whatever does need to get work through if it’s done in that space it’s going to be conscious it’s going to be a constructive and it’s going to be a firming so I feel like it’s the what I’m hearing you say and what diarrhea firm is two people listening if you were expecting and you want to keep this container of love together and ever strengthening then start doing his practices now and know that you’re going to really rely on them it’s going to be life-and-death okay we’re just going there so I can breed all right like can’t we just do that let’s just do that next week or let’s just all of that I mean once you start doing it and engaging and you feel that present in your body and the Net Connection you have to just trust that all of that and all of that adds up and all of that makes a difference in your relationship every moment of that that time that you have on to be able to connect in that way as powerful well thank you again for bringing it back to to those core practices again you could have a lot of compliments sure there’s a million complicated bits of advice that people could give for this but this is so practical and and I just I dare people could really do it in and I don’t think you can fail you know I don’t think it’s possible to fail if you have good intentions and you do the scratches so yeah so we were getting also to your kind of making a perfect segue to the next question which is more more about the the asymmetry of responsibility and Duty specially for breastfeeding mothers and mothers to be carried to full-term and whatnot it’s it’s like there’s such a the mail investment just as how I always make this joke there probably less violence in the world is men had to breastfeed but women actually held the babies in their room still so imagine that you wouldn’t be off to go into war and using weapons and guns and swords that she had breastfeeding on demand for whatever after 5 years income that would be great that leaves man with such an unfair and balance of freedom and privilege to not be bound to the those tasks so a lot of women are rightfully lamenting this sensitive of the men who are supposed to be there showing up to with the with the mother is hoping for is that yeah he’s going to go to work and put food on the table and make it so I don’t have to work hopefully or I can work you know in a way that I can still be involved in my children’s lives you know for God’s sake you know who something something not just not just the short maternity leave remind me that the CEO of YouTube is a yogini who is Hardcore advocate for way longer maternity leave or something yeah I didn’t know that I’ll send you a link to a video where it where you get to see that she’s actually really badass them she’s a fierce that ass woman who’s awake I have no idea how did you navigate and how do you recommend for women who maybe don’t have is as blessed of a of a beloved Fixer-Upper type type men how do you get them on board with really going the extra mile of of checking in about about the needs a mother you know mother would have if she is being assertive about her knees in about the new suicide where she would like how can you be humbled to her and just be asking and showing up to being serviced that’s a question that’s a really great question and I have to say that I’m really fortunate with Eric because he I mean he has just him and he is just been a tremendous support from the beginning but then at the same time it’s like I also have to do my part with him right of being very clear about I need you no because then it that this always with him you know in the beginning of special rub up against this when he just wouldn’t know you know and I would be just waiting silently expecting something but he wouldn’t really know that that was what exactly I was looking for right because for women it’s like having that ability to breastfeed and nurture and carry this baby. Room I mean just how we have those abilities so readily at hand and we know what we need sometimes it’s hard to say yeah I need this actually it sometimes it’s hard because where we can be so strong you know and we can put off the 15 so strong and like we have everything together and I know that I do that a lot of time where I’m just like yep I’m good I don’t need help I look what I’m doing all by myself I’m doing all these amazing but that really inside I’m like oh my gosh like what am I I can’t do all this by myself and just allowing your partner that opportunity like okay like this is really what I need and this is the support that I need and this is how I feel going through that and not being afraid to say I am overwhelmed right now you know and and can you please and saying this from a place of love right not from a place that judgment and like what are you doing for me and you know resenting that you know you have more freedom than me and Bubba blah and I’m here breastfeeding or whatever it is not doing it from that place but from you know from your center from a place of love like I’m I’m really overwhelmed I need help with this right now you know can you get up be up with a baby now for two hours because I only had 3 hours of sleep last night instead of just silently you know doing in that moment when you feel I mean I I just I know a lot of of moms and a lot of friends who dust will just be like okay well he didn’t you know my partner my spouse he didn’t step up and so I had to do it and then my will but did you say something and they’re like no or maybe they did say something but you know it wasn’t from that place you know of just clear intentional loving vulnerable until. I think that was one of the biggest things for me especially you know when our relationship I’m like okay and then you know my husband tries to tell me like he’s Eichler like he’s like really I want to be able to show up for you like I want to be strong for you I want you to feel good but he’s like I honestly don’t I just need to to hear it I just sometimes I need to be told or I need to be reminded because it doesn’t come as naturally to me and then show me be mindful of that and not you know not falling to being hurtful or resentful something makes me cute different do you know well that’s really really profound that that really gets to the hardest exactly what I’m seeing go wrong inside once at once that slippery slope really hard I mean it’s kids once this thing start to add up then breaking through that you’re really. It’s really snowballing and that’s your thing everything is this Noble thing I’ve seen it yet so that is great advice I think that work that I said the fly to something if x is kind of ridiculous that it reminds me of I remember seeing young young women and whatever middle school or high school and home home economics class and they will be given an assignment to have a baby doll with them for whatever and in that relationship it’s like okay honey we’re going to do what it’s going to feel like for me to be busy and need help from you and you put in your garden that would be funny if it decided to give people that sensitivity at sensitivity training cuz once it’s already ratchet up and then more expenses than what I’m seeing to notice let me know way more than I do but it’s like I don’t think I think people underestimate the cost of of multiple visits to the pediatrician a week you know it’s like figuring out food allergies and decoding the sugar all of the ways that sugar is is is surreptitiously inserted into packaged food and just it’s such a pill battle to be holistic and to be in at all so it’s just this this is all in on top of just I mean most people are just buying everything off the shelf from entertainment to toys to food to diapers and whatever it is it’s all just off the shelf but to have that effect of wanting to do better than the last Generations or to resist the marketing and be more green or whatever that’s a whole another layer of the building so you know it’s just to get more and more complicated and at the end of the day I see the women just getting ran ragged and the dudes just kind of blowing him off sadly to say but if we could he had say that actually kind of Segways a bit to another question which is and this I mean you could you could write a whole book just on this subject alone out so I don’t expect you to to go too far into it but maybe just some off the top of your head pointers and we can move along quick to know we’re getting close on time so so any suggestions for creative and educational and non-toxic toys just a few maybe went to one website or one store just don’t know anything I don’t know if I’d be the best person to ask about that because I not that they have a choice in general just because you know like all the plastic and everything I mean and we like literally their toys are like one corner of our house like a couple of containers and that’s it and they barely even play them to be honest with you I feel like the simpler the better you know I feel like I’m all about like art you know art projects you know the pain and the crayons and all the art supplies and things like that so that they can enhance their minds and use their hands that way and explore that way they’re into that but I found that you know the purchases that I made with toys throughout the years it’s like that use it and then they’re done and that’s like a big hunk of plastic sitting there are biodegradable and Wooden Spoons and then they’d be busy for 2 or 3 hours you know that they have gotten that I get them they’re like okay and then they open it and then they look at it for 10 minutes and then I end up you know it’s just a way so yes so we do more we like to do more stuff you know in nature I mean they like to play you know what they say they love gospel they love being outdoors they love Ari and they love puzzles and things like that so that’s why I hope that I hope and pray that we will all have abundant opportunities to being healthy natural environments and have plenty of more outdoor time the better cuz there’s some nature is like endless you know just being outside they’re like so fascinated by every little thing the backyard I don’t know it exactly how I like how did the people survived all of those many years ago without these big pieces of plastic and well that is exactly what I thought I hope to hear in and a very firm it if so this is another test of the last one here is probably the the most kind of universal so I don’t know if there is an answer to this question however I died would like to spend I would like to spend my golden years doing a lot more anthropological research on on foraging sigala Terry and societies before you spell hunter-gatherer societies who have basically none of the the neurotic issues that people in the modern world have and and I love to know I would like to believe that there is that there was a golden age of human Innocents where the terrible twos didn’t exist and then that we could decode that and figure out what is it more nurturing Less Talk toxins I mean is it just that there’s so much overstimulation and so many maybe you’re actually able to perceive carcinogens at that age and then you stopped being able to and that’s why I mean it could be anything less or I could just sent them know something very out of balance that’s just modern so I’m just wondering if you have if you were really idealistic about know I’m going to teach there going to be a master Yogi’s by the age of one so that the terrible twos happen though I already beat exam enough I don’t know why you if you were like I don’t know like tell me what that’s been like for you and then if you have advice for people who are in that approaching that Horizon will for me I really I really just try to go with the flow you know just so I’ll talk to style just like accepting every part of it I was just part of the the beautiful messy process of development and growth and exploration and sometimes I do know because otherwise then it’s just become so hard you know what I’m saying because you expect it is you’re going to have meltdowns right it’s not it’s not going to be easy is there at like going to be some very tough days especially in the beginning if it’s going to be hard you feel like what what am I what did I get myself into one of my hairdo evaporate the next moment you know you’re going to feel the most joy and Bliss and happiness that you ever felt like wow that’s amazing that I get to be a part of this process you know that I get to witness this human being growing and developing and it’s it’s just amazing so it’s really you know you know the whole ton truck idea of a flowing through those energy that accepting every moment no matter how chaotic and allowing those emotions and those feelings and those moments to move to you during this challenging time to witness in you know children and young children because it’s like they can like be so happy in one moment and literally within five seconds that can beat me on the floor it’s crazy right it’s like oh my gosh the wide array of emotions from moment to moment and not inhibit that till I I feel like you know it’s like wow for me initially seen that in the beginning and fidget with night was my first one and that you can just move so fluidly like this and just just like that and get so consumed by something else in another moment we just amazing to me so I think we can really take a lot of sign a lot of lessons and just being present at something to a Full Circle closed right now because what I am even before you started to reply that lesson for grown-ups really about about cycling through your full expression and not choking your body is response to a situation out and the full the full body response to a situation I was actually remember me on my phone while I remember a room full of adults it you and Eric’s condo and we were being instructed to behave like children having a tantrum so that we can feel good and actually know the nice that storm there’s like the sun and the blue sky and in the EXO baekhyun the funny faces and doing the monster dance and some just like well you’re probably realizing hits are the times of the exactly yeah it’s it’s pretty amazing to witness is there a word for like reverse parenting or something has got to be a word for the the the from children actually teaching adults what they’re forgetting and I didn’t mean well that’s really it’s a really heartwarming conversation and I feel like the people who are hearing this and who have experienced so much pain and distress that there is such a open source free to use to spend your own time studying it get this book read the book watch Roadies videos I certainly considered to be the highest resource that I like to share with folks because of the same reason they listen before adjusters I don’t feel like there is a knot a snake-oil aspect of what you’re selling and there’s not a sort of a shady ulterior motive saying a gender that I have to worry about and and I just can’t say that about that many people until I’m sure you know and I certainly feel for myself that you know I have I always want to be deferring is often as possible to sort of protect my Integrity to not be the what do they call it like the god cock Shaman is just a narcissistic people’s souls and that’s easy enough to it’s easier to take that route of that that black timeshare manipulate manipulate almost hard not to do it so I mean I’m making and I feel like we are making major effort cuz that’s the complete opposite of what you are and what you and body I mean from the very beginning so yeah no thank you I really feel like you are just I mean somebody who’s just really in there doing that you’re like doing the work you know and you like do it like with an open heart you’re just like in there and you’re talking to everybody and just creating this just really amazing platform. You should be really proud of well thank you again and again I have to say you helped start at all and one of my the first real social proof that I had was that was your gracious licensing of me to share some of the video work that we did together it’s been a blessing that go into detail but all that in that in that previous episode supposed to listen of that and I will say that we we were blessed and burden in this in this time of this episode to take to cover a good intro to the book and also to open this discussion about time to Parenting I definitely want to set the intention that in the future we will give more of a of a deep dive into your personal background and it sort of will let that be a cliffhanger to hear about your experiences early introduction of Tantra and just kind of the got your path of building that confidence and certainly the form give experience Syfy oh my God it all yeah we haven’t got into your filmography either still be there next time to say this for next time to talk about birth because yes I mean not as deep and my experience naturally delivering and doing it with Tantra as my Foundation is the only way that I said I survived it and actually enjoyed it. Arrington have the complete box set free thank you so much thank you so much for having me it was really great and most richest time in in a moment to to share this Basin and certainly yeah it’s it’s a got it just give you a big big bow down because this you were the one who helped me start this this whole journey I don’t know I don’t know who I’d be or where I’d be doing it if we didn’t have a Meeting of Minds you know so yeah I can’t believe I forgot to say this I mean you were seriously you were the first one who discovered my website you were the first one who reached out to me and one of the first that I’ve actually I will say the first that I taught that I didn’t know because I had started already like teaching but like you know friends and friends of friends but you were the first clean one like the first student I was like oh wow yeah that that walked in and like was the beginning of really that Journey so thank you I did not know that I did not realize that that that’s funny so funny I can’t believe I never told you that that’s very well so everybody just like get over your awkwardness and just represent just like bring your egg and no matter what things will come out you know it’ll all fall in place to get back to the Sam and yeah I give them my love and thank them for allowing you to to do the book and for all of the people who parted the sea so that you could get that book done and then provide provide that to us and so much more thank you I know it I just want to say thank you so much for Amy what you just what you spoke about earlier just blew me away how you been stepping up to support women and you know what your mother’s I mean you are really holding for me to space there and this is really something that you know I know that would indeed and you know a lot of them have been longing for so thank you so much for for being that person and for filling that role cuz it’s just amazing the work that you’ve been doing all these years I thank you you planning to see each other that they were they say that it’s the fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree at least in the sense of the guru to train me to be a womanizing pick up artist in the name of conscience so I guess that’s why we you know gravitated toward each other There Was You know. The little like energy so I think I don’t think you would have found that path that was not your will thank you so much again yeah so much so much good vibes and good times and we will be in touch soon and and best of luck with all of your your your book emotional adventurous okay great thank you so much fun. Country Park. Calm and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to see me and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple provide ketologic employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email band at Township Park. Com Thomas gay