Category Archives: Writing

Tantrisms 01: Radically Transparent Pick-up Line

Being a tantrika, I’m always considering the trade-offs of getting romantically involved with friends and strangers.  Sometimes I’m surprised at how and when I feel appropriately motivated to “make a move”.

One night recently, I woke up in the middle of the night and was struck by a Buddhic insight right in my crown chakra. My preference for pure-ish hearted, trustworthy, hard working, creative, driven, focused, etc. women has disqualified almost every would-be suitor I’ve been tempted to pursue. I had been holding out on “making a move” on one of my most dearly respected qualified leads. This flash of insight guided me to make the move and formally invite a romance beyond the friend zone.

My training in tantra has emboldened me to be very direct and not play manipulative games to consciously or unconsciously corner or coerce someone into a love and/or sex trap.

So here was my text:

“Would you be interested/available for a fun-games-only, non exclusive, low maintenance, month-to-month, true love affair with me? If so say yes and I’ll reply with love poetry, if not say no and I’ll be happy to remain friends with the same pre-established non erotic benefit of beholding your beauty with my eyes and not my hands…”

She was flattered, expressed openness and interest, but respectfully declined due to being committed to a monogamous relationship.

I’m proud to have taken this calculated risk. It took nothing away and only added a new dimension of respect and adoration, and affirmed respect and understanding of boundaries.

 

She Filled my Ears with So Much Yes

She danced into my life dream
This sweet home coming queen
Liquid love flowing from inside
She massaged my heart soon after I arrived
Through her eyes shines her beautiful soul
Bold and fearless she goes with the flow
I always complicate matters
With my drawn-out chatter
Patient with my nervous headiness
She smiles with warm readiness
I want her to know how much I care
Unlike most guys, I open up and share
I try so hard to do my best
To artfully design contracts of consent
She filled my ears with so much yes
And we made a masterpiece of love in my bed
She made me sing like never before
I’m not ashamed to be loud anymore
Pleasure enhanced by the wild songs
Of lovers in ecstasy, getting it on
In our merged energy fields
Pure bliss is all that is real
I embrace her with every cell
And savor her every smell
Why do men roll away and turn cold
When their Goddess is emitting riches like gold
Nothing in the material world can compare
To the spiritual wealth together we now share

Permaculture Goddess Temples Poem

As I wtantra-punk-kaliorried about whether catastrophic Earth changes be near
Through visions she showed me how I can dissolve my fears
By building Permaculture goddess temples to last thousands of years
Some may be shaken to rubble, some burned, and some submerged
But not all would be lost if they were globally dispersed
Malta still stands, 7000 years strong
Proof of a civilization where women and men got along
Worshipping the Earth Mother Goddess, you can’t go wrong
Reverence for the sacred feminine divine
Carved out of stone to last for all time
Though gardens no longer remain
It’s never too late for the legacy to be reclaimed
Now we know how to design and build
Edible landscapes filled with perennial guilds
Co-operation not competition makes ecosystems last
Partnership not domination, how our ancestors lived in the past
In Vietnam a 300 year old food forest still thrives
In Morocco a 2000 year old one is the oldest known to be alive
Permaculture before it had a name
Ever-lasting gardens still remain
Hydrating, fertilizing, and re-seeding themselves
Humans just gave them a little initial help
A final protest to the warrior cult
May be our planting of trees around monuments of Earth and stone
Silbury Hill mound, Mother Earth’s Breast, built over 400 years with antlers and bone
In months we could establish seven layer systems and plan out the zones
And with thousands of techo-pagans, the permies wouldn’t be alone
Trance dancing to mix the cob
Guided by Tantrikas’ drums and songs
Evoking Shakti to empower the crews
170 beats per minute keep us all in a groove
Entrained by the rhythm, the workflow is smooth
What it once took generations to achieve
With the last drops of oil we could drive Earth surgeon machines
Swales, dams, ponds, and mounds
Wrap around the contours on the ground
Like the curves on the 1000s of goddess figurines that archeologists have found
Goddess food forests to be seen from space
Crop circles of bananas, spirals of herbs, dome trellised grapes
Hugelkultur keyhole beds to unlock the shackles of witches burned
In these temples the lessons of her-story will be re-learned
Modern medicine women like Julie James
Restoring traditions that were cast into flames
Fortified by thorned berry bushes and bamboo stakes
Motes of chinampas and aquacultured lakes
Marauders fought off with sharpened sugar canes
Edible weapons like cayenne pepper mace
Peace is not the absence of war
It’s the balance of masculine and feminine energy at a society’s core
Earth’s affliction is a testosterone addiction
Man’s dominion a perverted fiction
Women, animals, and nature suppressed by 5,000 years of the Blade
With a return to the Chalice our souls may have a chance to be saved
Once patriarchy is buried in a composting grave
We no longer think seven generations ahead
Modernity expects the future to be dead
Mollison warned our cosmic neighbors will scorn
If we lay waste to Earth, our galactic welcome will not be warm
Those of us who choose to stay home
While the male ego goes boldly goes where it doesn’t belong
Will discover old life and old civilizations
That held Gaia above all
If there is to be a great collapse
The next Dark Ages need not be so drab
The goddess altar candles will illuminate sacred texts
That teach of old ways suppressed by religious sects
Eco-feminist anthropologists to thank
For exposing false assumptions of cave men’s clubbing and rape
Myth of savagery a lie, our ancestors did not deny
The power of the female to give and nurture life
For 99% of human time, we lived hand in hand, not hand on throat
Women in prehistory were not enslaved as we’ve been told
Before agriculture, cities, churches, and states
The cross-cultural paradigm of goddess worship was in place
Where it was kept safe it progressed into civilization with grace
The human creative urge cannot be reversed
But it’s focus can be reworked
Rather than building phallic missiles and bombs
The male can be heroic for his devotion at home
Tools no longer wielded to cut and control
But to heal, liberate, sew and grow
It’s not that we men are bad
Just our education that is so sad
Taught to fear and hate
The wombs that create
Envious of her power
He toppled her glorious towers
Few still stand, but enough have survived
We have but to with Permaculture revive
The sacred spaces of old
And begin to value fertility above gold
Precious soil and seed stock exchanged
Yields returned for true wealth and fame
Megalithic living heroine statues standing tall
Paths not streets, groves not walls
In Permaculture goddess temples to replace the shopping malls
Guide Stone commandments built to preach across time
But edible art would be a more compelling gift to leave behind
No paternalistic laws and rules, just living temples depicting the feminine divine
What is the feminine divine you ask?
She’s what’s surging behind your social mask
Tantrikas Rhoda Jordan and Reena Desai
Can gently guide you to your knees and breathe open your 3rd eye
When you surrender to shamanic beats
Boundries will dissolve that limit how you think
You decide how much to let in
Gaia will fill you up and radiant out through your skin
She’ll whisper to your inner ear
Or sing loudly if you let go of your fear
Men afraid of losing control
Who’d rather die then find another man beautiful
Can bathe in the warm bliss of her love
And drop the act of being macho and tough
The masculine divine has a place and time
Equal in fact when properly refined
If you dare to percieve the feminine divine
You’ll see her spanning more dimensions than stars in the sky
For a 3d glimpse, see the art of Amanda Sage
She’s downloaded her visions into physical space
With permies, architects, and enginneers
Her futuristic permaculture goddess temple realms, could soon be built right here
Thanks to Ninesense for permission to use his track “Sage” for the background music:
https://soundcloud.com/ninesense/sage

How to Love Like a God

Why Get Off When You Can Stay On and Get High?

Everyday we wake up with renewed sexual energy, and we’re driven by the need to do something with it. What does it want to do? It wants to connect with other consenting age-appropriate human beings in as free, open, loving, and wild a way possible. It wants to get us high, heal our bodies, blast us into hyperspace, take us for a trip across the astral plane, keep us peaceful, careful, loving, and kind, bind couples and communities together, drive procreation, and more.

Unfortunately the dominant culture has denied this energy, dammed its flow, and damned its spirit to hell. Virtually everyone in our culture is sexually dysfunctional, physically, mentally, and spiritually. The resulting sickness manifests subtly and overtly in all domains. Much of what is toxic, unsustainable, and harmful in modern civilization can be thought of as the physical manifestation of misdirected sexual energy. When we train our minds and bodies to embrace and cultivate this energy we can build more ethical economic systems, more sustainable infrastructure, and have more compassionate public policy and diplomacy. Instead of trashing the finite planet to build empires of ego, we can build palaces of transcendent pleasure in infinite spiritual realms, right from the comfort of our own bedrooms. Frustrated, angry sublimation can be transmuted to blissful flowing superlimation.

Here are some practical steps for men:

Self Love
Without self love, most people are love deficient, they have a hole that they’re trying to fill, rather than an overflowing abundance that they’re eager to share.

For most of my life I lived without self love. I didn’t think it could be cultivated from within, I thought I needed it to be imported from the outside. Through serious pain, heart-break, and study I learned how and why to self-love. From compliments to the mirror, to medibation (masturbation + meditation), to getting fit, to eating right, to educating myself, I learned to take an active interest in myself so that when I hear the song “Enjoy the Silence” by Depeche Mode, I sing “All I ever wanted, all I ever needed…” to myself, “here in my arms”…me! Without that glowing self love, where you stand tall, with good posture, happy for no reason, content, calm, peaceful, energetic, you can’t attract what you really want. Attraction is a factor of energy. You can be skinny and be unattractive if you’re spirit is faded and you don’t love yourself. Conversely, you can be large and be an electro-magnet because you love yourself and it excites and turns people on. It’s not a matter of how tight the skin is to the bones, it’s a matter of how tight the spirit is to the flesh. The spirit’s food is love, feed it everyday with a life-long romance with yourself, your body, your mind. Your spirit will stay with you and turn heads for you. Crouch like a pretzel in the corner, let your spirit fade, and dwell in the shadow of negative self talk, and self-conceived ugliness, and you will not attract anyone, or whoever you do attract will be of like-vibration, you’ll attract another pain-bodied self-hating energy vampire and you’ll perpetually make life hell for each other.

The simplest way I can put it is to use the cultural construct of the “dream man” or “dream woman”. At one point I said to myself, wait a minute, if I’m this toxic mess of deprivation and clingy, needy desire, and I want some angelic princess to come along and rescue me and make me happy, and be perfect, and never upset me, or change, well, only change to be exactly the way I want her of course…isn’t something missing from the picture? That’s an ugly picture, beauty and the beast! I realized that, the dream love I wanted was a two way street. I had to love myself just as much, I had to be my dream self, or at least know what that was and be working towards it. So I built the vision in my mind of my dream self, and without waiting for someone to rescue me, I went to work, broke out of my shell of self-pity and started to build the dream me. I’ll never be done, because as I grow I want to grow more, but as long as I’m growing, I’m not dying and the mirror gets more and more forgiving and loving. Not just because of physical work, but because of spiritual, intellectual, and emotional work.

In this heart-broken and self-esteem broken society, the mirror is your worst enemy but it can become your best friend no matter what anyone else says about your appearance. It can be a tool to develop a relationship with yourself, your first and only truly life-long relationship. You can go through a million partners, but you’ll always have to face yourself, sleep with yourself, argue with yourself, put up with yourself. The mirror can be a tool for building that abundance of love, from the inside out that you can share with the world.

Training/Practice
By training I mostly mean masturbation, or preferably medibation (masturbation + meditation). For men, if you’re not “getting laid” you better be staying in shape by masturbating not just to get off and get on with life, but rather to make love to yourself with similar time, focus, and attention, as you’d give to the act of love with a partner. Not only is it necessary to maintain “stamina” by mastering the art of riding the edge of climax and drawing the energy through the body with breath and self massage, but it’s necessary to keep your body lit up with erotic energy.

If you’re not in a partnership where sex is shared regularly, maintaining a healthy regular loving relationship with yourself keeps your wiring and gears from rusting and locking up.

Also the power to do sex magic is as potent (though perhaps not as powerful) alone as with a partner. Think about it, when stimulating yourself you’re raising all of this energy into and through your system, whatever thoughts/visions/ideas/desires are in your mind can and should be energized as well. Whether you need to psyche yourself out to remember the study questions for the mid-term, of you’re trying to manifest a new job, or a new lover, why waste the energy by just consuming porn or fantasizing about some cover-girl?

The Love of a Lover
I think you can have great sex with strangers, it’s not very safe, fulfilling, or sustainable, and it can’t get you as high as with a true lover. Developing love first is always a better way to go in my opinion because there can be trust, comfort, relaxation, safety and other ingredients listed below.

So here are few notes on the love of a lover. It’s actually easier to love oneself it seems because you’re in total control of your decisions (unless you’re dominated by addictive behavior, then you’re basically in a toxic relationship with yourself). In relationships, a tension builds over time around all the resentment over little things, the disagreements, power struggles, compromises, annoyances, etc. If that energy isn’t carefully managed and flushed properly, it can back up into the bedroom and toxify the sexual environment. Even worse, sex can be manipulated as a weapon to seek justice or revenge for problems in other domains of the relationship. It can be withheld, or faked, or just done without passion or spirit and be lame. Either partner can find ways to poison the sacred union both intentionally and unintentionally.

In my experience and study, there are a few key patterns in relationships that have to be carefully guarded against. And there are a few practices that have to be religiously maintained in order for healthy, ecstatic sex to be shared.

First I want to describe the typical love curve. For most couples, high states of ecstasy are easily achieved early on because the love is fresh, exciting, and new. There is heightened curiosity, passion, romance, and both partners are on their best behavior, they haven’t yet fought, their lives aren’t yet entangled, they haven’t had to work through issues or compromise on much. This “Cloud 9” high, is great, but it doesn’t last. It’s a true neuro-chemical drug-induced state that sooner or later you “come down” from and reality comes crashing back in. True mastery of love would be to know how to re-access these chemical states and actually enhance them over time as the relationship grows. The difference after the initial free high wares off, is that you have to give more energy and attention to sustain it, and consistently purify the relationship with fun, adventure, novelty, creativity, and most importantly, open hearted communication.

In our culture of instant gratification, cheap thrills, and no work ethic, most people stay perpetually stuck in the “thrill of the chase” stage where you play “the game” of building up a flirtatious and seductive fling. You’re getting high on the excitement of pursuit, there’s uncertainty and the possibility for failure which keeps you on your toes. You play the game and once you win, that is, once you actually hook up, have sex, and start hanging out, the excitement disappears. It becomes easy, mundane, expected, the chase is over, the thrill is gone. So what do you do, you trail off in communications, you stop being responsive, you fade away and begin again with another prey. Men and women do this all the time, usually leaving a broken-hearted victim.

It makes sense in a way because once that 2 week to 2 month easy high wears off, building a lasting love requires disciplined effort, and all of the ugliness of each person starts to creep out. It makes perfect sense, but it also keeps people in perpetual immaturity. Why do people get stuck in the addictive “chase” cycle, because they lack the patience and discipline to really apply themselves to build real love. The lack of true love, and shallowness of constant flings means ultimate lack of fulfillment and unhappiness, and often the inability to experience the highest states of ecstasy.

I’ve basically tried to establish this phenomenon of the love curve. We’re all some where along it. The goal I think should be to understand it, and find ways to healthily work through it so that it’s more evenly spaced. For example, in a long term relationship, when the initial spike drops, expect it, be aware of it, and don’t think that the love is dead, just know that like a garden, it will die if not properly maintained with TLC. So many couples are sexless for decades, then shell out thousands of dollars to therapists just so they can re-ignite that initial romantic passion. The next time you fall in love, keep a dairy together and take good notes on what felt the best so you’ll have a bread crumb trail to follow when times get tough.

Every person has certain stimuli that make them feel loved the most. It could be a word, a voice tonality, a touch, a place to visit, whatever it may be, the point is we need to know things like this about ourselves and our lovers, and we need to upkeep the practice of making one another feel loved. And we need to learn how to clear emotional space so that passion can be kept alive.

Again, like a garden, if you don’t properly bury the weeds and their seeds in sheet mulch, all the nutrients will be robbed and your crops will be grown over and buried alive. It’s easy to get lazy and let the weeds grow in relationships, so that you can’t even see what you originally planted. If you’re lucky it’s still there, but it’s going to be a hard job to clear it up and bring it into full production if you’ve let it go for a while. That’s why simple, steady, low-level maintenance is so important in love. Going back to the self love component, the more inner prep work you’ve done while alone, the less weeds will sprout in the garden of your love with a partner. With the right amount of preparation and maintenance you’ll be spending more time smelling each others flowers and tasting each others fruits than pulling each others weeds.

Just try to set the intention with yourself and your lover to keep a burning desire for each other alive, and make sure to have combustible chemistry always. It’s not easy, don’t blame yourself or your partner if it fades. The dropping off of the curve is natural, accept it and put effort into pushing it up to ever-higher levels! I great formula for sustaining healthy long-term relationships that I’ve learned and practiced is: daily affection, weekly date-nights, and monthly romantic adventures. I’ve added a couple bonuses: on demand 5-10 minute cuddle breaks and on demand spontaneous dance breaks.

Selectivity
Your sex partner should be someone with whom you share similar life goals. The more aligned your ambitions are the more stable and fruitful the relationship will be. Falling in lust and building a relationship without a foundation of purpose can often be a recipe for disaster. Co-creative synergy should be as important in selecting a mate as sexual chemistry and physical attractiveness.

Prayer and Intent
Before love making verbalize a shared intention, it could be to honor each other as divine beings, to deepen the love, or to achieve a specific outcome such as manifesting a promotion at work. Sacred sexuality involves sexualizing prayer and overcoming religious shame of carnal pleasure. Whatever names you use to call upon your God(s)/Goddess(es) of choice, addressing them in your love making ritual is essential. Many people exclaim “Oh My God” unconsciously throughout the act. In my experience, sexual energy is an amplifier of your prayers. If you want your prayers to make it to the top of the stack, state them clearly and believe fully that whatever request you make will be best received when packaged in a container of pure loving grace.

Time
This is very subjective and variable. But to be safe, my experience and study tells me that for intercourse itself, 30 minutes or more is the optimal range for the magic to really happen. There are so many energetic and chemical currents, some raging, some very subtle, but they’re all epic in their development. The more time they have to flow, the more merging of consciousness can occur so that you become one unified vessel of blissful consciousness able to soar through higher dimensions.

Sacred Set and Setting
Creating a magical altar, lighting candles, burning incense, playing music, wearing sensual clothing, etc. can anchor a sacred mindset and on a metaphysical level, serve to disinfect the environment. Ritualizing the build up to union creates an atmosphere where consciousness is focused, attention is undivided, and the body has the cues it needs for juices to flow and for arousal to occur gradually from a deeper level of being. You may choose to burn sage and call in by name whatever spiritual allies you are close to and command that all things that don’t serve the highest good be banished, be they negative emotions, energies, or entities. If this sounds too occult or hippie-ish, it’s easy enough to simply verbalize that you intend to create a field of pure love where nothing but the truth of bliss is welcome.

Bathing
Bathing is one of the most sensual activities you can share together. It’s always recommended from a sexual health and hygiene perspective, beyond that it effectively sets up the “take turns” approach to giving and receiving pleasure.

Physical Energy
Energy comes from proper eating habits, hydration, regular exercise, rest and the right attitude. Poor diet, dehydration, lack of movement, sleep deprivation and a negative attitude will rob you of energy. Huge meals before love making can obviously sap energy. Light meals at least a couple of our before love making is recommended and trays of fresh fruit, berries, nuts, chocolate, and other healthy sensual foods to snack on throughout a love making session are quite nice and help sustain energy levels.

Dance
Dancing is the art of making love before or without having sex. If you haven’t danced with someone, how can you trust them with your heart and your sexual health? Dancing is an essential part of maximizing the potential of foreplay. It’s what starts all of the engines in the charka system. It gets the blood flowing, detoxifies the lymph system, and gets you energetically prepared for long lasting, full bodied, transcendent orgasms. It also creates a field within which only blissful emotion can survive, it makes the past dissolve, and allows smiles to bubble to the surface uncontrollably.

You can roll on top of each other at midnight after you click off the TV, knowing you have to get up at 6:00am, and the love making will most likely leave much to be desired. A better approach would be to shut off the TV a couple hours earlier and pretend you and your lover are the TV stars, act out and role play your own script, be your own entertainment, and make it a dancing musical while you’re at it!

Relaxation with Massage
When people rush to sex, they’re not taking the time to shed the energetic tension of the day. Massage is an exquisite means to bring the body to a state of complete and total relaxation. If lovers gave each other even a five minute coconut oil massage before intercourse, they’d experience exponentially more pleasure and satisfaction.

Full Attention and Presence with Meditation
Meditation is the key to focusing your full attention and into the body and the present moment. It can be as simple as closing your eyes and focusing your attention on deep breaths. There are infinite ancient and modern techniques from all over the world. It’s best to try a variety and decide what works best for you and your partner. Whether you’re sitting still, stretching, or dancing, the goal should be to quiet the mind.

Breathing, and Conscious Energy Circulation
Breathing techniques are extremely important. There are all kinds that should be studied and experimented with. According to Tantric and Taoist traditions, the breath can be the most powerful tool to circulate energy. It’s critical that the men master breathing techniques so that the high voltage sexual energy can be drawn up from genitals and  circulate internally throughout the body, and externally when with a partner. There are many detailed diagrams of energy flow within an individual’s sexual energetic circuitry and the same for couples. I won’t describe these in detail here, but it’s enough to know that when shared sexual energy is built in a couple, it has to go somewhere. For many men who don’t consciously circulate their sexual energy with breathing, meditation, and visualization techniques, premature ejaculation is a lifelong curse.

If the energy is not consciously cycled within the individual or couple, it will get jammed in the genital area and eventually explode in the form of a fleeting orgasm. But when circulated, it can result in waves of multiple orgasm for both the female and the male, and thus push the couples unified consciousness into ever higher and deeper altered states of ecstasy.

Warning: breath and energy circulation techniques should be practiced only with the guidance master. Extremely powerful waves of energy can be released that require advanced methods of preparation to be able to safely endure.

Eye Gazing
Eye gazing, or sustained eye contact is one of the most intense forms of intimacy. It comes easily in the early stages of love and when practiced regularly during sex can play an important role in sustaining true love. Having sex in the dark or with eyes closed, or astray, allows the mind to wander. Consciousness can leave the moment, whether it’s to fantasize about someone else, or go over the shopping list, without eye contact, there’s no guarantee that quality attention is shared. It doesn’t have to be constant, but it should be regular, and it should be what starts the sexual session.

It’s not desirable to be fettered with all kinds of formal procedures, or to keep count of this or that, the point is to train in these things so that they become effortless and automatic. It’s just like martial arts, you train to learn the skill and eventually like magic the skill performs for you without arduous effort. Your consciousness is free to just be fully present in the experience as your body dances with the energy using the tools and techniques you taught it.

Basic Anatomy and Stimulation
Developing an understanding of female anatomy is so important. The dominant culture has trained men to believe that 100% of a woman’s pleasure is a direct result of his size when in fact the majority of erogenous tissue is in and around the clitoris. And only certain positions actually allow the penis to reach the G-Spot.

Sadly, porn cinematography favors the visually dramatic deep thrusting pattern which is typically the least pleasurable for the woman, and the most overstimulating for the man. The key is to balance the stimulation, so excitement builds steadily for both partners. Keep the thrusting pattern at a ratio that favors shallow over deep. This will protect you from overstimulation and keep her in a positive feedback loop of building anticipation and reward.

Another vital strategy to prevent premature ejaculation is to do what boxers do when they get exhausted. You know how they burrrow themselves into each other as though to hide from their opponents punches by limiting their range and velocity? Well you can achieve the same effect by thrusting all the way in and holding on tight with a bear hug so that the range of thrusting motion is limited and your stimulation is decreased. You’ll discover that being in deep for longer periods of time actually benefits your partner because she’ll be happy to grind on your public bone while you whimper and pant while regaining your strength for continued thrusting action.

Direct manual clitoral stimulation should not be done immediately, rather, slow caressing of the pelvic area should be gradually built up. Packed in the clitoris are as many nerves as the entire penis, and there’s a “circuit overload” phenomenon that can be quite uncomfortable and inhibit arousal.Direct manual clitoral stimulation should not be done immediately, rather, slow caressing of the pelvic area should be gradually built up. Packed in the clitoris are as many nerves as the entire penis, and there’s a “circuit overload” phenomenon that can be quite uncomfortable and inhibit arousal.

There is also the G-Spot, which is just behind the pubic bone in the inner vaginal wall. Insert one or two fingers and do the “come hither” motion to put pressure on the dense sponge-like tissue. Once you and your partner have located it with fingers and she can identify the sensation, experiment with various positions of intercourse and become more conscious of how to stimulate it with the penis.

The male anatomy is pretty self-explanatory, however most straight folk are unaware of the male G-Spot, which is the prostate. It’s about the size of a dried apricot and it can be stimulated from the outside by applying pressure between the testicles and the anus, or for the slightly more adventurous, from within via insertion of body parts/objects of your choice into the anus.

Everyone is different, everyone’s wiring is different; that is what’s fun about getting to know someone sexually. For someone to share with you what makes them unique and for them to train you to play them like a musical instrument can be a true joy.

I won’t go into detail about positions, oral techniques, thrusting patterns, etc. here, just study, experiment and keep in mind the principles of spontaneity and diversity.

Consider how when you put your clothes on, your body registers the sensation, but once it’s registered, it doesn’t keep sending you the same signals. There’s a trailing off of sensation once your body gets used to something so the changing of position, rate, depth, patterns, etc. often keeps the body guessing and the signals are more intense.

Climactic Equality
So how does the average American male understand his sexual energy and its application with a sex partner? Generally, like most things in patriarchal culture, it’s understood within a construct of goal oriented sports. Hence the metaphors, “Did you score?, “No, I only got to third base,”… Guys are culturally taught that the objective is to score, first by getting a woman in bed, second by performing athletically so that she reaches climax during or before his climax. No surprise that the locker-room wisdom for guys to keep from ejaculating prematurely is to “think of a sport where you haven’t shot the ball yet…”

The primary goal of simply having sex is far more rewarded and tallied in the locker room than the secondary goal which is to perform in a way the satisfies one’s partner. So although all men know they’re supposed to be able to “go all night long” most don’t bother to learn how. The average American married couple’s sex lasts for 3-5 minutes.

This tragedy is one of the main reasons why countless American women have never had an orgasm during intercourse, and if shamed away from masturbation, have never had an orgasm at all.

So what’s really going on here? There’s an orgasmic economy that’s very unequal. The untrained man is quickly overwhelmed by stimulation while his female partner is consistently underwhelmed. The man gets off and passes out leaving the woman teased and dissatisfied. This cycle repeats again and again until they cheat, divorce, or die.

Balancing sexual energy requires increasing duration and can be achieved with a variety of trained/practiced techniques and fundamental understandings.

For sexual union to bring both male and female partners into altered states of ecstasy, this balance has to be achieved.

Because of the physiological differences between women and men, it’s easy for a man to simply get aroused physically whereas a woman’s arousal originates from a deeper place physically and spiritually. It’s like building a camp fire, it has to be done according to certain principles. If you light a match and drop a log on it, it won’t burn, you have to take the time to make the perfect little nest of tinder, build a perfect cone of kindling, and in stages build up to a roaring fire.

The problem with most men is that we’re not aware of this because, it’s not required for us to climax. A minimum 30 minutes of intercourse is a lot to ask as many men can’t survive the intensity of stimulation more than a few minutes. Or if they can last for 30 minutes or longer, if their heart isn’t present, they’re not going to bring their partner to climax, hence the faked female orgasm.

Without becoming distracted or anxious by having a goal to perform perfectly, couples can work over time towards the ability to increase duration and heartful presence.

The real goal should be to focus full attention on your partner and the pleasure itself, it’s only with this full presence that the doors to higher dimensions open. However many men regularly project their attention elsewhere and thus never let their full energy, spirit, and consciousness fill up in the moment. That’s truly what builds female arousal, the physical aspect is secondary to this primary need.

With the understanding that in order to “satisfy” a woman, a man must last longer, what can he do? One way to visualize male physiology is to imagine a circuit breaker. When the circuit is overloaded it breaks and the lights go out. Ever plug in too many appliances at once, and everything shuts off and you’re standing there like a fool in the dark? Welcome to the bedrooms of millions of couples across America.

A man has to learn to distribute the high-voltage current throughout his whole body, this is the only way he can survive the intensity. First he must know that it’s possible to withhold ejaculation yet have multiple and continuous full body orgasms. Many men haven’t ever been introduced to this idea. In many cases, masturbation in adolescence was done quickly, secretly, and in a state of shallow rapid breathing under the stress and fear of being caught. That doesn’t set up a good neuro-physiological template for long, relaxed, sacred love making later in life.

Once the idea is learned, the art and science has to be studied, practiced, and mastered. There are many books, websites, videos, classes, etc. on ejaculation control, or as some people like to say ejaculation “choice”. Just Google multiple male orgasms, Taoist Sexual Kung Fu, and Tantric Cobra breath.

Another training technique that both men and women should do on a regular basis is kegel exercises where you repeatedly contract the “PC” (pubococcygeus) muscles on the pelvic floor in various intervals. They’re the same muscles used to stop the flow of urination. If you haven’t identified them, next time you urinate, do what you normally would to stop the flow and you’ve found them. When men regularly contract these muscles, they condition the ability to withhold ejaculation by contracting them as the urge to ejaculate arises. For women, the main application of conditioned PC muscles is to create more tightness and muscle control during intercourse.

Non-goal Orientation
Going back to the sports analogy, if the man is distracted and caught up just trying to make the woman climax, he’s not fully present, not fully being in the experience. If a woman is feeling anxiety because she wants to force herself to climax so she can make the man feel like he’s not a failure, and protect his fragile ego, she’s not fully present and enjoying the experience. Yes the climax of both partners is desirable, but as long as there’s mutual effort put in by both parties to develop the skills to have a general equality of climax over time, it won’t be the end of the world if the male either loses an erection, or prematurely ejaculates during one session. So the goal should be to not have a goal and to just feel as freely as possible, but to have done the homework to make disappointment the exception not the rule.

Have fun, be safe, be sacred. You are already a God, you just need to train and condition your sexual Godhood so that you can rise to the built in potential of your Goddess.

Tantra Punk Turns Fighters Into Lovers

Tantra as Punk
The universe itself was danced into existence. According to tantric cosmogony, Shiva (masculine energy) and Shakti (feminine energy) combined to create a balance of matter and spirit. We’re the living manifestation of that balance, though in this profaned world age know as the Kali Yuga, the balance has been lost and social and ecological crisis are the result of a rampant dispirited materialism. Tantra, the mother of all Yogas, was developed in ancient India as a revolutionary praxis to restore harmony. It was originally taught by women and was made available as a public resource that transected the caste system.

When I discovered the radical nature of tantric tradition, it resonated with my punk spirit and ethics and made be look at the alchemical caldron of the mosh-pit in a whole new way. Perhaps, punks were unknowingly and without guidance tapping into a deeper pathway to ecstasy, empowerment, and bliss.

First Dance
In early 2009 I attended my first tantra class. The teacher had the group of about 40 strangers (half women, half men) stand up and do some yogic body movements to get their energy flowing. Then she gave a presentation on the history, origins, concepts, and applications of an array of spiritual tools to reach higher consciousness through self-love and relationships.

She stated that her background was in eco-activism and community organizing. I was stoked because she approached this spiritual work as a warrior goddess and hoped to empower the group to liberate themselves from and resist the negativity and programming of the industrial system. Further, she emphasized the need to clean our bodies and energy fields and to elevate our consciousness.

She then organized us into a dance where all of the women created an outer circle and all of the men created an inner circle facing the women. She instructed the women to evoke their erotic goddess power to love, heal, nurture, seduce, and be wild and primal. The women were to build this energy through their dance and give full presence and attention to the man they were facing. The men were instructed to not engage our genital sexual energy, but rather to take the building heat and energy produced through the transfer of feminine energy, draw it up through our chakra systems, and apply it to visualizations of our highest self-transcending purposes. The exercise was intended to give women a safe space to really cultivate their sensual/sexual energies and apply these energies to heal and empower the men. This helped the men get beyond our base sexual desire and selfish egos and apply divine energy towards positive trans-personal transformation.
At first there was a lot of awkwardness and tension, but the teacher did an amazing job to help people understand this was not about coupling, or even being turned on. The level of presence and energy profoundly moved the men. They all seemed to be entranced and enchanted, not with the individual they were dancing with, but by the channeling of pure inter-dimensional energy by the whole group.

There was no touching, just dancing, deep breathing and eye contact. The key for this to work so well was that every minute or so the teacher clapped loud enough to be heard over the music, and the women rotated to the next man.

There were people of all walks of life and levels of experience with this kind of stuff. At first there was unease but the collectivity of love, trust, and abandonment of ego and self-hood led to a melting away of fear. Eventually we achieved the dissolution of our social masks that we normally hide behind and trap our essence in. A deep sense of unity was established and the level of healing that started to occur brought me to tears. This may sound like just a bunch of hippies dancing at a drum circle, but having experienced both, I can tell you that this was radically advanced.

I was making a sacred connection with each woman. They all opened their hearts and gave of themselves and the universe with such authenticity and purity it felt like making love to the cosmos, experiencing the goddess and being a god. Not just symbolically but experientially. It was a real felt experience: the presence of surging, flowing, electrifying, energy filling my body and giving me a tangible sense of spirit. I was able to work with it and direct it through my body, through my mind, my visions, and my intentions. Everyone was in tune, doing the same thing to create a sacred vortex of divine energy. If you don’t like the word “spirit”, simply “energy” will suffice. What we were being guided to create was a field of energy that was generated and charged by dance and connected with and channeled through the conduits of eye contact and breath.

It was so awesome to see the depth and richness grow and to see the men and women slowly let go of their shyness. It was a multilayer journey that started with a building up of fiery animalistic seductive energy, then moved towards a totally healing nurturing compassionate gentle maternal energy. The teacher kept people engaged, focused, and directed in their dancing and intention. By just saying a word, she was able to change the character of the entire room’s energy; you could almost see the colors change in the auric fields.

At the heights of the dance, each breath I took in, as my eyes were locked with a dancing woman, was like taking a hit of some kind of potent third-eye dilating drug that sent energetic shock waves through my entire being. As I danced, I felt what one woman described as the “sculpting of auras”. She said at first she was just dancing, in her self, dancing with movements she self-consciously created but as the dance evolved, she began to move in currents and patterns that were totally beyond her conscious control. She began to sculpt the male aura in a loving and healing way.

Role Reversal
After the female to male exercise, the roles were reversed and the males were put in the outer circle and instructed to attempt to impress the females. This was really comical and challenging for many of us. The dominant culture teaches men that to impress a woman, one must offer a display of alpha male machismo, financial wealth, and/or social status. Without being able to pull up in a fancy car, act tough and intimidating, or appear to be of high rank, for the first time a lot of the guys were left with only their ability to speak through their eyes and dance movements.

We looked like a bunch of fools, but in time, energy from beyond our conscious minds began to animate us into sacred geometric patterns of motion that ended up becoming very much like what the females had been doing. We felt as though we were massaging and sculpting the auras of the females though with a more masculine type of energy. It was an exercise to bring forth the positive, constructive, creative masculine traits and create space to cultivate male strength and power in a nurturing and giving manner, not in the so often culturally conditioned hostile taking manner.

After the dances, the group did a series of chakra clearing exercises based on ancient Egyptian martial arts. It was basically a series of striking movements combined with breath and visualization whereby each strike is designed to break through and throw out blockages in our energy systems. It felt like a sort of DIY self-exorcism.

We closed the evening with a discussion of how we felt, and what we had experienced. After we all expressed how profound and life-changing the dancing was, the conversation moved in the direction of confronting patriarchy by using sacred traditional ways to restore balance. It was clear to all of us that the sacred feminine (which had been honored in prehistory but violently and systematically suppressed world-wide over the last 5,000 years) is never more than a few breaths away from all of us. As an energy it flows through all of us whether male, female, queer, straight, or any combination thereof.

You don’t have to read a book and believe what prophets, saints, priests, and gods tell you to believe and have faith in. You don’t have to imagine divine energy, you see it and feel it under the proper direction. Ancient tantric culture developed the means to actively engage real power and energy that we now suppress and deny.

I think the gateway concept to get people to understand the potential of this kind of healing/therapeutic/empowering energetic work is to ask if they’ve ever felt energetic sensations in their heart area. Everyone has had crushes, and many of us have been heart broken. During those times it’s impossible to deny that there are energy fields and circuits that exist beyond our normal perception of the physical world, and are beyond the current scope of scientific instruments of measurement.

You don’t have to follow a religious doctrine to discover and work with your own energy fields. There are many pathways to direct your attention towards them and to develop and cultivate them as you would your intellect or your muscles. Sacred sexuality, martial arts, singing/chanting, dancing, meditation, and many other means are available. Less ascetic cultures valued and held sacred the ability to transcend the normal waking state and access higher states of mind and body through ritual practice.

You don’t have be a freaky hippie on a commune, a Buddhist monk, or move to India to start to reclaim these skills. You can do it yourself, and it can enhance any lifestyle and social identity you have. Yoga is a ritualized practice that has transcended almost every sector of society. I am now thoroughly convinced that Yoga’s highest potential is realized by its maturation into Red Tantra (sexual yoga). Imagine a sexual health and wellness studio at every strip mall between the karate dojo and the yoga studio.

Blazing a Trail
In my early punk years I had fully rejected all religion and without knowing it, all spirituality. Within the last few years I’ve been able to reclaim experiences of the sacred, without limiting myself to belief in religion. Our profane existence can become sacred on our own terms. I used to chant “No Gods, No Masters” but now I feel more like we are all goddesses and gods, and if we choose a path of self-mastery, we can truly be our own masters. It’s my hope that we’ll evolve new ways to access very old sacred experiences that will help us return to sensually embodied, primal, animistic polytheism.
As I’ve pushed myself to go beyond the mosh pit and learned to dance in other circles, I’ve found that there are many allies for social justice that I once dismissed as hedonistic ineffectual hippies. Now I feel much more whole and balanced and can experience the best of both worlds. Punks can benefit from being more spiritual, and spiritualists can benefit from being more punk.

The new age movement is often blinded by its obsession with the light, and overlooks the pain and power to be transmuted from the shadow. As much as I love the hearts, flowers, rainbows, and unicorns of the more hippie scene, I’ll never be able to forget the powerful rage that comes from confronting the dark imagery of the profane reality that we inhabit.
Conversely, the punk movement is often blinded by its obsession with the shadow. Punks often won’t wear clothes with any color other than black, won’t transcend the lower emotional vibrations and transmute the rage into love. Worst of all, punks are in their own words “born to die in the gutter”; disillusionment leads to disempowerment, nihilism, and self-destruction, alcoholism doesn’t help. I’ve lost two band mates to overdose, and many friends to suicide. If only they’d tasted the elixir of tantric bliss, they’d still be here, healing more than hurting.

Eventually we’ll be able to synthesize the two visionary movements. The artwork of Jeremy Clark does this for me. It depicts both the dark and bright aspects of the post-industrial future. I’ve dedicated myself to building a bridge by creating sacred dance music with punk song structures, lyrics, and intensity.

Another punk aspect of tantra is its inherent radical feminist attitude towards the sexual ethics of consent. Tantra is a powerful tool to empower the masses to end rape and sexual abuse. Tantra demands absolute full presence and consciousness for consent, for how can you worship the divinity in the person you desire to touch if you’re blacked out drunk and/or forcing yourself upon them? What does every male rapist and sexual abuser have in common? The lack of a system of ethics that prevents them from disgracing themselves and others through misuse of their most holy object, their Lingam (Wand of Light). I’ve launched the Tantra Task Force to bring the practical application of Tantra into abuse prevention and sexuality education.

My Initiation as a Healer
Over the last several years I’ve been blessed to study under and train with an array of modern tantra masters. In the process I’ve discovered healing gifts I didn’t know I had and many who I’ve worked with encourage me to become a Daka (sexual shamanic healer). Like most ancient arts be they martial, sexual, medical, etc. modern western commercial society has reduced the richness and complexity of the tantric life path into sessions and weekend retreats. Though well worth the price, my punk ethics drive me to liberate this powerful healing modality and make it more affordably accessible to the low income masses. I feel strongly that I must serve in the spirit of Tantra’s traditional roots and make it a public resource to be experienced at legally sanctioned Goddess Temples. My poem Permaculture Goddess Temples lays out a vision for an edenic neo-tantric future.

Close your Eyes, Breath Deeply and Visualize this:
In a deep meditation the voice of the Goddess whispered to me: “Ben, what’s the fastest way to reforest the planet?” I didn’t know. She gave me this vision: train the rock and movie stars to be tantric sexual healers then put them through a permaculture design course. They’ll get off the hamster wheel of divorce and drug addiction and naturally choose to use their sexual capital to heal the planet. Imagine the tabloid headline: Sexiest Celebrities in the World offer Free Lingam and Yoni Massages for Anyone Who Plants a Fruit Tree.

Punk and BDSM as Cultural Scabs

I live to smash patriarchy from the bedroom to the boardroom by teaching men and women the anthropological history and prehistory of human domination. For 99% of our species’ existence we lived in nomadic egalitarian hunting/gathering bands. Without being settled, controlling territory/property and without producing male controlled productive surplus, we shared power equally. However approximately 10,000 years ago, some human cultures began to form permanent settlements, domesticate plants and animals, and stratify into authoritarian classes. Starting around 5,000 years ago, the first fortified settlements were built, we now call these war based settlements “cities”. Civilization is thus the process by which once relatively peaceful and equal societies have either enslaved themselves, animals, and the earth, or have been conquered and enslaved.

Anthropologically I see the BDSM movement as an attempt to bring the underlying trauma of civilization and industrial slavery into creative, healing, social contexts. We “play” with the gender roles and power dynamics that the dominant culture forces us to “work” within. It’s the only way to gain a sense of self-determination and sovereignty in a world that’s out of control.

The movement also reclaims the primal, ancestral need to achieve group states of ritualized ordeal induced altered ecstatic states.

I believe that most fetishes are a cultural immune responses that are reacting to the pathology of religious/agricultural/industrial/corporate domination and exploitation.

From a radical/eco feminist perspective, I advocate conscious active resistance to the patriarchal paradigm. It is my hope that we’ll reject and redesign war based urban environments and economies so that they nurture the earth and the feminine principle. A great resource on the rise of patriarchal dominance, and the conquest of peaceful goddess worshipping cultures is the documentary “Goddess Remembered” http://www.nfb.ca/film/goddess_remembered/

In my experience, the most powerful weapon in the struggle for liberation of the feminine divine, is the application of Tantra. A Tantric renaissance would provide the sexual/social/psychological technologies needed to break the spell of submission to the masters of patriarchy.

The rebalancing of earthly and divine masculine and feminine energies would ultimately relieve the contorted pressure built up in our individual psyches and most fetishes would fade out of existence. I think it’s worth questioning the voluntary perpetuation of certain forms of kink that in effect reproduce the pathology of the dominator culture.

When we return to natural balance, shed industrial slavery, reforest, rebuild soil, and reclaim our birthright to thrive on a peaceful Edenic garden planet by design, we’ll no longer need to “process” through BDSM. We won’t have as much dammed, frustrated, twisted pain trapped in our nervous systems needing to be constantly exorcised.

We can identify and salvage the transcendent primal aspects of body modification, deprivation, bondage, ordeal, shamanic trance, etc. and bury the medieval torture aesthetic.

I feel the same way about punk rock. A lot of punks had sell out ex-hippie parents (like in the movie Pump Up the Volume). They couldn’t understand why we made loud, aggressive, abrasive sounding music. They wanted to create a groovy world of peace and serenity and made a tie-dyed, bongoed, sandaled subculture to strive for their ideals within during the late 60s.

By the late 70s, the punk rock movement, taking the radical politics to a further extreme, created a dark reactive aesthetic that presented the Jungian “shadow” of the collective unconscious. Punk is a cultural scab on the festering wound of the failure of the 60s. It’s as if to say, okay mom and dad you tried peace and love, got your asses kicked by riot police, lost momentum when your leaders were jailed, and after the war, your movements dissolved and you rejoined the suburban rat race…you sold out…so In this generation, it’s “no more mister nice guy! Punk is going to get raw, in your face, dirty, nasty, angry, vulgar, negative, hostile, critical, uncompromising, threatening, violent, destructive, fatalistic, etc.

In the U.S. the punk movement is perhaps the most privileged and apathetic, however throughout Latin America, Europe, Southeast Asia and beyond, the revolutionary punk movement is a serious political force.

It’s debatable whether punk will bring down the system and deliver total liberation to the masses world-wide. But it’s worth engaging in the thought experiment: what if somehow magically, punk did succeed. What if it did fulfill it’s ultimate mission: to create sustainable autonomous anarchy to be managed by small retribalized self-sufficient collaborative communities?

What if the punks won? For how long after the victory would all of that angst exist, would their be a toxic polluted war-torn world to base the militant/skull/bullet-belt reactive aesthetic on? Or would all of those memes just fade out of cultural memory?

That’s why I say that both BDSM and punk are cultural scabs. They reflect the dominator culture, they are a tactical weapon against the dominator culture, and they help us cope and grapple with the predicament of being trapped within the dominator culture. But when the dominator model is once again restored to a partnership model, the scab will flake off, giving way to a scar; a scar hopefully big enough that we’ll never be able to forget it and forever carry the wisdom not to make the same mistakes.

When the scab flakes off, what will our transcendent group sexual rituals look and feel like? What will our once dark and abrasive music sound like? I don’t think we’ll be singing Kum Ba Yah in bell bottoms and bandanas. But we will be singing and drumming around camp fires.

In the deep primitive future, we’ll once again be the highest expression of the local ecology. We’ll be the “most beneficial element in the natural system”, rather than the most destructive. Our sexual energy will flow freely and will be guided by the wisdom of shamanic elders, not dammed and twisted by scriptures.

I ask the BDSM scene, which revels in the perpetuation of dominator themes and memes: what role shall we play in this epic moment of opportunity to recreate authentic ecological partnerships with the land beneath our feet? Can we not apply our biological exuberance, fiery passion, and long list of technical and craft skills towards building eco-villages? If a percentage of time and energy was applied to growing our own produce, raising our own meat, catching our own rainwater, composting our own waste, managing our own wood lots, building our own earthen shelters, etc. would we not distribute the load of frustrated energy that contorts our psyches to the point of chronic sexual perversion?

I’m not judging anyone’s fetish, I’m just doing as Timothy Leary advised and questioning everything. Every phenomenon, physical or cultural has a historical context. There was a time before “x” came into being, and there will be a time after. What is the historical context of these bizarre fetishes that have seized upon us? Did they have a functional adaptive advantageous evolutionary utility for our ancestors living in the wild? I think when you peel back the current historical layer, the answer is absolutely yes. But again the need to “ex-state”, to access non-ordinary states of conscious was met by transcendent rituals, rites of passage, ceremonies, controlled induction of pain and ordeal.

So called primitive cultures are filled with freakish practices, so I’m not saying stop getting turned on by pretending to be a dog. I’m just asking, how can pretending to be a dog be brought out of the dungeon and become a healthy part of the fabric of a sustainable tribal culture? Might it morph into a more traditional form of masked totemistic story-telling dance? (see The Spirit of the Mask: http://youtu.be/DtT82PAHZr8).

Towards the evolution of deep ecologically correct, kink-friendly, shameless, free, neo-tribal cultures!

The Interdimensional Ecology of Hyperspace

some beings perceive and treat us the way western society perceives and treats livestock

some beings conduct painful experiments on us the way vivisectors do to lab animals

some of them are intrigued by us, welcome us as lost travelers, and act as guides into other realms

many of them love us and want to share our bodies and experience ecstasy with and through us

but to all of them, we must surrender and let go of the shadow self

a mind full of negative thoughts and emotions is like blood in shark infested waters

a mind full of love is a like a seeping maple tree in a forest full of deer

the mystery of enlightenment, solved by becoming lighter

strip away the the toxic residue, the thought viruses, the ego, the

resentment, the hatred, the guilt, the shame, the fear

and be nursed like a baby

in the luminous ethereal omnipresent arms

of the eternal/infinite feminine divine

Oh My Goddess

oh my goddess
oh my god
oh my goddess
oh my god

oh my god/dess
you’re beautiful
i love you
i thank you

We must resacrilize
body temples as divine
Patriarchy has denied
Shamed and brutalized

Chakras are aligned
Connecting earth and sky
Holy serpents rise
worship them with pride

Sit on my lap
Legs around your back
Look into my eyes
Breathing synchronized

Cycle up the spine
The energy inside
Open the third eye
DMT will flood your mind

If you want to see the light
You must last all night
Pray between my thighs
Meditate while I’m inside

Sacred Sexuality, Divinity, and Shamanism

For hundreds of thousands of years, sacred practices were developed by traditional cultures to connect people to each other, the earth, the sky, the spirit world, etc. in a way that gave them a sense of place in the cosmos.

If something is deemed sacred it’s treated with respect, it’s engaged in ritualistically, and it’s done with full presence and undivided attention.

How many things can you think of that are treated this way in daily life?

Our synthetic reality is fast, disposable, cheap, easy, careless, thoughtless, shallow, sterile, life-less, devoid of spirit. Statistically for the average American, sexuality is the same. The average married American couple has sex for 3-5 minutes once or twice a month, and for the individual, masturbation is a sinful, guilty, embarrassing, and mechanical shallow pleasure. The dominant culture has desacrilized and commercialized sexuality. It’s consumed though magazines, tv, movies, and pornography. It’s sexist, male dominant, and exploitative.

We lack the sacred traditions to teach us about and train us in practices and methodologies to use it as a pathway to discover and apply divine energies in our lives.

So-called Western society has been at war with sacred sexuality for millennia. It’s committed global genocide and ethnocide not only conquer land and pillage resources, but to destroy any living reminder of what it was like to be free; to love the earth, to honor the feminine, to have reverence for animals, to connect to the divine through the body itself, through direct experience, through altered states of ecstasy.

Many of us have been traumatized by religions that have systematically eradicated the ancient universal spirituality known as animism where everything was alive and contained a spirit. Religions designed by murderous rulers of civilizations took the sacredness that lived in all things and all beings, corrupted it, masculinized it and shoved it into a few buildings, objects, and books.

When those who’ve liberated themselves from the torturous prison of patriarchal religion hear words like “sacred” and “spiritual” it often makes them ill. It triggers flashbacks of extreme guilt and shame, horrific visions of hell and damnation, of the absolute betrayal of love and trust by the family, community, and institutions that imposed the system of domination on their body, mind, and spirit.

Why would we want mix these toxic feelings with something wild and fun like sex? Is sacred sexuality about more rules, more silence, more standing still and being made to feel bad about everything that seems natural to a human animal, being made to cover our bodies?

No, it’s about reclaiming the sacred and the spiritual and making temples out of our own bodies to worship with and to be worshipped, as we are the human manifestations of divine energy.

Sacred sexuality is not religious self-denial and abstinent devotion to “god”. It’s not hoping to catch a glimpse of the divine by reading books in dungeons cloaked in robes that cover the whole body.

It’s about embracing the self and learning how to make oneself a conduit of divine energy. It’s not about the belief in the divine, it’s about the experience of it, an experience that’s not controlled by a ruler, a saint, or a preacher; one that’s not denied or persecuted by a clergy; one that’s not considered schizophrenic by the mental health establishment.

What is “the divine”, is it god, is it gods, is it a man, is it a woman, is it a man and a woman, is it an animal or animals, is it aliens? I think it’s all of the above and more…

My working definition for the divine is that which is beyond our untrained senses, is intelligent, and is more powerful, aware, and wise than we are.

By entering altered states of consciousness, human beings can transcend the limits of normal waking conscious and gain access to realms beyond consensus reality.

To me, it’s not one entity that I can name and worship, it’s an ecology of inter-dimensional beings, energy, and information that exist in hyperspace, beyond space and time.

Normally, our senses block out 99% percent of what surrounds us. Imagine that in the one percent of perception that we call consensus reality (the reality most of us agree is real because we can all see, feel, taste, smell, and hear it), we’re just one little tide pool, unaware that we’re actually just a tiny micro-ecosystem within the greater ecosystem of the ocean.

If you asked starfish in a tide pool what lies beyond it, one might say, “well, there’s nothing beyond it,” another might say, “what lies beyond it is all one giant singular being that looks like me,” another might say, “I don’t know,” and another might say “maybe it’s a just a greater array of diversity similar to this tide pool.”

Whichever one of those starfish you are, or your parents are, or your nation’s dominant religion is, one thing is universal: every culture that’s ever existed is absolutely obsessed with what lies beyond our senses and will do anything to try to explain it.

The difference between force-fed religious dogma and traditional spirituality is that one is a based on “precepts” and the other on “percepts”. In other words, divinity is described by elite religious leaders and the followers must believe in the precept as it’s preached about or depicted in words or art. Traditional spirituality is perceived directly through one’s own experience of ecstatic altered states.

In shamanic cultures, tools and techniques are cultivated over generations and students are trained to preserve and carrying on the traditions. Shamans help guide the members of society into and back from the spirit world but the point is for people to have the right to chose to access it and learn from it whatever they want, to go in as deep or shallow as they choose.

In the shamanic framework, the earth and the universe are alive and filled with beings that have dimensionality beyond our normal perception. The infinite cosmic drama is ever unfolding, it’s not codified in one set of rigid mystical stories. Of course there are origin stories, and other constructs that hold a peoples’ identity together. But the mythology is alive, it’s open to new experiences, new insights, new revelations. The truth can’t be crystallized, and it doesn’t need to be. Only cultures based on fear need the security of a dead world and universe governed by a patriarchal ruler.

Most of the shamanic tools and techniques that open up our access to the divine have been banned and outlawed if not destroyed and erased.

But all the doorways inside of us are still there. The now dominant culture just locked the doors and threw away the keys so we’d stay imprisoned in its dead reality. But they can never destroy the doors, never take them away.

How can we reopen these doors? There are many sacred plants and sacred practices that act as magic keys.

In the 1960s an explosion in consciousness expansion occurred, the introduction of Eastern philosophy, transcendental meditation, psychedelics, new forms of music and more all broke the American psyche out of its stiff, straight, coma and things were groovy for a while. But it didn’t last because people lacked the life-long discipline of real shaman. Experiencing the great beyond was recreational, inspirational, “trippy” and “far out”, some people became modern shaman to the best of their ability and with their own devices, but most people were just tourists without a map. They’d either get lucky and fall down the rabbit hole into Disney Land, or end up spending a “Night on Bald Mountain”. But the power to gain access to healing energies, deeper insights, develop rapport with other sentient beings, the ability to see the future, communicate with the dead, and so on, has not been reclaimed.

Sadly it seems that it would take many generations the after the collapse of modern civilization for any of its former inhabitants to truly regain these skills. Luckily there are many intact shamanic cultures to learn from today and many of them invite outsiders to partake in their ceremonies.

Our individual access to the other side is highly restricted, and the opportunity to explore it with the guidance of real shaman is remote but we still have a few powerful keys we can develop. One of the most powerful, effective, free, legal, non-drug induced means to access the divine is the cultivation and application of sexual energy.

Whether alone, with a partner, or in a group, ritualized, sacred sexual practices heighten human consciousness into some of the most ecstatic altered states. With the mixture of eye contact, breathing, energy circulation, relaxation, duration, build up, words, intentions, presence, focus, consciousness, etc. the doors will open to the divine.

Sexual energy is the most powerful energy we generate, when cultivated and directed consciously it can be a magical tool to supercharge the manifestation of our visions for the future, it can be directed towards healing diseases, it can be used to transmute negative emotions and trauma into positive energy and empowerment, it can clean the spirit and enlighten the mind.

Great sex is usually just thought of as a wild ride, like an amusement park without purpose beyond satisfaction, but why waste the power that’s generated when it can be used to reclaim lost magical powers?

The Divine Goddess Created Our Species to be Homo Sexydelicus

In hyperspace all of my intellectual understandings of the feminine divine gush out of my normally linguistically confined cortex and flood my body as I dance naked to psytrance music at a thunderous volume.

All that tantric theory comes alive and I become the sacred dance of Shiva and Shakti. The god/goddess energies flow through my delicate fleshy human frame and it feels like every cell is writhing in orgasmic ecstasy.

Without entheogenic amplifiers that plug me into the transcendent currents of the earth and the cosmos, the visual fantasies I daydream about are fleeting abstract projections. But with them, the pineal juices flow and the third eye conducts an orchestra of orgiastic imagery not on the typical 2d screen of the minds eye, or even 3d, it’s multidimensional.

When I conjure up images of female beauty, I don’t just see frames of the center folds that the patriarchal culture has tried to sell me that flatten my experience and make me a consumer of an objectified product. I don’t have a thin and shallow lust for the culturally conditioned standard of beauty. I actually become the feminine divine. I shape shift into a curvy breasted being made of milk and honey.

I’m somewhat androgynous, about 25% gay, but not particularly fem, I just like the way it feels to engender the sacred union internally, which is the prerequisite to be achieved before hoping to create sacred union with a partner. It’s a fractal phenomenon, self-similar at all scales. Learn to balance the feminine and masculine within, then build outward with one or more others. The potential to consciously perform the balancing act of energies is what allows us humans to grace the predator/prey landscape of life on earth with magical divine co-creativity.

At one point of extreme trance dancing, I realized that having rented the Carmen Electra strip-tease workout video wasn’t just out of some giggly horny impulse. I actually like to dance that way, it feels great, it kills the toxic destructive male ego to stir up the feminine divine within. Without the need to be macho and constantly hold back the natural drive to be peacefully sensual, a man can know true freedom. Sacred sensual erotic dance is for everyone. In essense, it says to the divine feminine what Terence Mckenna said to the Mushroom as it came on to him, “Take me I’m yours, take me I’m yours.”

I think about how much psychic energy gets expended everyday in the world just to maintain homophobic masculine identities. What a tiring waste. In the movie Eyes Wide Shut, there’s a poignant scene where Tom Cruise is walking down the street at night kind of taking a weird dream-like tour of bizarre manifestations of human sexuality. At one point a mob of frat jocks walk by and verbally attack him in a frenzy of explicit homophobic hate speech. I see this a lot, because there is no healthy acceptable outlet for men to experience their femininity and explore their innate curiosities, they’re constantly frustrated and obsessed with verbalizing and visualizing aggressive homosexual acts with each other. They’re constantly accusing each other of wanting to engage in what they say is unthinkable, yet there they are thinking about it all the time.

Back to my own trip, I grew into liberated politics as a punk runaway that would go into the local all ages queer nightclub in Portland to avoid the curfew and be safe inside the strobe–lit, techno pounded walls until sun-up. There I was exposed to a vast array of genders and sexualities, all entraining to the beat, dancing and expressing a kaleidoscopic rainbow of divine masculine and feminine beauty. It was sexydelic and I loved it.

It was many years later as an anthropology student that I discovered the existence of the little known primate species called Bonobos. They’re pigmy chimps that make love not war. They resolve conflict and maintain peace and egalitarian social bonds by having non-reproductive intercourse across sexes, constantly. They’re also an extremely rare example of primate matriarchy. Through elaborate circles of sisterhood, they keep the male ego in check and never let the males believe that they can dominate. Males are meticulously trained to remain humble and respectful. It’s as if the females know instinctively that the male ego is a dangerous volatile force that has to be carefully managed to ensure the absence of violence and domination.

As obscure as they are in the primate world and in the collective consciousness of our culture, they just happen to be the most genetically similar to us of all the other primates.
We didn’t directly evolve from them, however it stands to reason that we evolved along similar paths. If you buy into the obsolete orthodox Darwinian evolutionary religion, you’d have to believe that Bonobos and humans arrived at their/our unique extra-reproductive sexual instincts by some errant genetic defect for which nature hasn’t had a reason to squeeze out of the gene pool. But I this is monkey shit. To help bury the idea that life forms are purely the result of purposeless random mutation, I like to reference an analogy I heard on a Tony Robbins tape once that went something like: to believe that there’s no intelligent creator of life is like believing that the Webster’s dictionary is the result of a random explosion at a print factory.

Entheogens provide the experiential percept, rather than the belief-based precept, that there is a divine force of creation, or many perhaps. Who/what/where-ever they/it/she/he is/are doesn’t matter to me as much as the fact that some form of organizing consciousness is actually pulling us forward into an ever more complex biological being that can experience ever more depth and texture of sensuality.

We’ve lost all of the defensive and offensive biological weapons and shields. We don’t have fangs, claws, spikes, venom, talons, etc. We don’t have an exoskeleton, we don’t have a shell, we can’t run very fast, we can’t see behind us, we can’t smell our enemies, or sense their vibrations, we can’t see all that well, we can barely even defend ourselves against the cold.

If we’re not here to fight or flee, what “f” word does that leave?

We are the naked ape. Why? Because somehow a few genes failed to switch on somewhere back down the evolutionary ladder, that’s definitely part of it, but not the whole story. There is always a dynamic dance going on between environment and consciousness, but in the case of humans, there is so much more going on. The rate of drastic change that led to our neo-cortex, our nervous system, our linguistic apparatus, simply does not compute within the temporal/mathematical framework of random mutation according to evolutionary theory. Our DNA was definitely a designer piece, somehow injected into the primate world.

Every culture on Earth is an attempt to explain this mystery. For most of human history, cultures embraced the mystery and approached it in a state of love and reverence, not fear and violence. One of my tantra teachers describes a rough dichotomy in human culture. He says that prior to a few thousand years ago, all human cultures were inherently tantric, they lived in a sensuous way, enjoying life through the body and connecting to the divine through it. Then as the patriarchal dominator culture emerged out of domestication and civilization, a new relationship to the body began to colonize to globe: asceticism, the denial of the body as divine, the living in the head, in the ego. As the male ego’s obsession with control lost its balance with femininity and nature, the body and all of its magical wonders became just a vehicle for reproduction and war to accumulate ever greater amounts of artificial power and wealth. Study eco-feminism to get the most complete story you can find on this shift, suffice it to say here that this tragic twist of fate has betrayed our nature, our biology, and our designer’s dream to make sweet love to all of us through our peaceful, bare, defenseless, goddess worshipping bodies.

Terence Mckenna wrote and spoke at length about how the shift from partnership to dominator cultures was also rooted in the loss of connection to sacred plant medicines which help to regulate and diminish the male ego. He also points out that with the systematic eradication of the shamanic meme, a pharmacological shift happened as well. We didn’t just lose the ethnobotanical leash on the male ego, the leash became a whip that aggravated it with the rise of alcohol, which has inflamed the male ego.

Where there are plants there is peace, where alcohol is poured there is war.

There are so many aspects of the true fall of man to explore. I just wanted to name a few.

The main point of this writing is not to focus too much on the causal chain of historic and prehistoric events, but rather to look at the end result.

The naked ape that was designed for peace and love is now dominated by an insidious reversion to the alpha male syndrome. This is not human nature, we haven’t always been at war, the primitive are not the savage, our hominid ancestors didn’t club women and drag them into caves by the hair.

We evolved beyond patriarchal primate behavior long ago, and developed co-operative, psychedelic, loving, ecstatic proliferating goddess worshipping cultures that had managed to live sustainably as gatherer/hunters in virtually every different type of terrestrial environment. In short, through the mechanisms of peace, love, and plants we were able to cooperatively adapt to diverse environments without the need to conquer and colonize. It was not our nature to become conquerors and colonizers as a species, but sadly the potential to revert to a dominator mode has always been latent in our DNA.

Now we’re horribly off course and have wasted so much imagination, creativity, ingenuity, and innovation not to further our connection to each other, the earth, and the stars as we had for so long, but to create an epigenetic de-evolutionary descent into battle mode.

This is not to say that there was never any violence or weapons or warriors, but in shamanic warrior cultures there were limits to the destructive urge, there were still councils of elders that regulated the individual and collective male egos. There was still a tantric paradigm. People still had spiritual connections to the land, to each other, and to their bodies so warfare was not just a game of kings to whom young men were just chess pawns, it was dare I say, sacred violence?

Anyway, it dawned on me one time as I got into my divine feminine psytrance dance, that we were evolved to be beautiful and vulnerable so that we can experience more in life than a constant game of cat and mouse between predator and prey. As I was dancing and feeling so infinitely sensual there alone in the dark, with amplified senses and perception I could see into other dimensions. I became aware of the looming presence of predatory hyper-beings who were rushing toward me like alien insectoid sea creatures. They could sense my shell-lessness, my sweet squishiness and they were intent on devouring me. I felt truly helpless, but as in all altered states, you have to get a grip and seal the fear valve quickly before you fall into a dark abyss or get dragged into one kicking and screaming. You have to morpho-generate pretty pictures of unicorns and rainbows and you’ll instantly evoke the goddess and she’ll be there to protect you and ward off all the evil spirits that would do you harm. It’s as if in hyperspace, you’re not seeing things that aren’t normally there, rather you’re seeing things that are always there. The hyper-beings that feast on and metabolize human psycho-kinetic energies come in many forms and can only be seen with certain psycho-microscopic lenses as Timothy Leary might say…

In the interdimensional ecology of hyperspace, some beings perceive and treat us the way western society perceives and treats livestock, some beings conduct painful experiments on us the way vivisectors do to lab animals, some of them are intrigued by us and welcome us as lost travelers and act as guides into other realms. Many of them love us and want to share our bodies and experience ecstasy with and through us. But to all of them, we must surrender and let go of the shadow self. A mind full of negative thoughts and emotions is like blood in shark infested waters, while a mind full of love is a like a seeping maple tree in a forest full of deer. The mystery of enlightenment is solved by becoming lighter and stripping away the scar tissue, the toxic residue, the thought viruses, the ego, the resentment, the hatred, the guilt, the shame, the fear and be nursed like a baby in the luminous ethereal omnipresent arms of the eternal/infinite feminine divine.

Coming back to “reality” it was very clear to me that to be naked apes is very dangerous. We had to take really good care of each other to survive for 200,000 years or more. We had become very close in our tribal relationships and relationships with plants, prey species, etc.. We are so fragile, so interdependent. We’re so incapable of surviving alone, we’d be dead in days or weeks without the constant love and care of the tribe. We’re as defenseless as worms, but in trading in our shells and claws, we received the gift of the most prolonged intense pleasure potential of any other form of life on earth. And we were given the gifts of our unique highly complex brains, and our hands, our linguistic apparatus, etc. We are here to love and create, not hate and destroy. It’s as if the scared male ego wants to use our creative capacity to turn everything into a claw or a shell. Either hide from his true loving nature, or beat it out of someone else.

What a shame.

Imagine what we’d have accomplished by now had we stayed Gaian minded, egalitarian, tantric, goddess worshiping. Imagine if all of the grand wonders of civilization were done in the name of the goddess. What would our largest structures and statues be shaped like? What depths of innerspace would we have explored? How many people would be in a “nuclear family”? How many sharp, toxic, and otherwise lethal objects and substances would there be to teach every child to fear? What would be the number one cause of death? What would high tech computers be made of, and what would they be used for? Would we fly with fighter jets or with levitation? Would we swim in nuclear submarines or as mermaids?

I subscribe to Terence Mckenna’s time wave theory which states that the universe is an engine of novelty that over ever shorter epochs of time produces ever more complex integrated biological and cultural forms and systems with peaks and valleys of novelty fractally positioned throughout. So there is a fundamental law of nature which is, in a dirty word, progress. As an anarcho-primitivist I always fought the idea of progress as an enemy but now I see that it’s not that simple because to me it’s perhaps one of the only undeniable laws of nature. So you can’t stop progress…but you can stop patriarchy.

Patriarchy and it’s perversion and diversion of primate evolution is what has thwarted Gaia’s project to advance our species from the warlord chimps to Homo Sexydelicus, the naked entheogen seeking biological sex machines that we were each born to be, when we are born to be wild.