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Words of Praise for my First Tantra Initiatrix Rhoda Jordan TPP154 Transcript

Ode to Rhoda

I clearly remember the day back in 2009 when I opened my Google Alerts after recently setting up a “Los Angeles Tantra” weekly email update. Rhoda’s website was the first local tantric coaching service I discovered. I was a starving artist with most of my income allocated to creative endeavors that lived better than I did. Despite my tight budget I was eager to learn and study tantra so I immediately drafted a proposal for barter and prayed for a miracle.

I offered two hours worth of website design and marketing consultation in the form of a free diagnostic report on her website, if she saw value in my suggestions, she could choose to reciprocate with an introductory tantra training session.

My offer was accepted, I got to work, and the rest is herstory. In our first session I was guided to connect deeply with breath, movement, sound and visualization. Her calm, soothing, and confident voice sonically illuminated my path towards life-long on-tap kundalini shakti bliss. My Tantra Glow was lit up for good. She exuded the benefits of the practices with her Buddha-like presence. While so many modern pseudo-masters trigger my skepticism, she ceaselessly earned my highest respect and admiration. My anxious and impatient patterns (typical of a late 20’s new age seeker) of swinging from diet to diet, workshop to workshop, program to program, best seller to best seller, were put to rest in the timeless serenity of her guided meditation sessions.

From the first day forward I knew there would never be an excuse to suffer, to be neurotic, to be lost in ego drama, self-pity, or delusion. That’s not to say I’ve been perfectly enlightened ever since, but rather, I know better and trust more than I ever did before, that enlightenment is always just an intentional breath away. I learned quickly that with the application of simple yet effective techniques, any and every moment in life can and should be an opportunity to embrace divinity, and open the heart and mind, body and spirit to the healing love of divine source within.

I began attending regular donation based group trainings at her lovely home. Her charming and endearing husband often participated providing a warm, supportive, playful atmosphere. Their true love was expressed beautifully throughout their home. They have always been a co-creative power couple, inspiring awe and reverence in all who enjoy their friendship and their works.

Several personal life chapters were written with this modern tantric temple service as the highlight of my week. My often complex, interwoven and at times entangled destinies seemed to harmonize with greater ease and synchronicity the more I deepened my tantric practice. Rhoda’s sincere care for my personal progress and affirming astonishment at my wildest accomplishments kept me motivated and proud to be a product of her guidance. While I don’t officially represent Rhoda’s brand, our sacred dynamic is at the core of my personal, professional, and charitable practices.

A lot of my convictions are controversial, my positions and postures are edgy. To remain in good standing with those whom I most respect, I must continually ask for feedback and advisement. It’s impossible to effectively moderate my radical sloganeering by myself. There’s a magical effect when being a student helps keep you in check. My ongoing efforts to earn Rhoda’s approval and pride would get me out of as much trouble as it would keep me out of. The quintessential yearning of an initiate is to make their initiator or initiatrix proud. What better reason to be disciplined and do right than to stay in good standing with your school.

Discovering, loving, and being loved by the infinite expressions of Goddess internally and externally has made me into a cosmic “momma’s boy” in the best sense of the term. I’m a tantric goddess worshiper, I have established my own personalized practice of classical “Devi Sadhana” under the advisement of human and non-human Goddesses. I can’t emphasis enough how important it is that tantric power and wisdom be cultivated, sustained, and transmitted by women, as it was in the mythic beginnings of the radically feminist Shakta Tantra movement in India.

Please allow me to zoom out a bit, to frame a bigger picture context for the female teacher, male student dynamic. Modern “Neo-Tantra” has a sadly but truly deserved bad name. Sex is the slipperiest of slopes a dear friend once said. Tantra men are notorious for getting caught with their hands in the cookie jar, manipulating women with cultish pyramid schemes whereby they are convinced to pay to purchase the only key to their enlightenment which conveniently happens to be hidden down the Guru’s pants. I doubt I will ever descend into debauchery with so much to lose. Rhoda was the first of now many modern priestesses whose spiritual authority gently but firmly watches over my conduct and thus my karma.

Who knows what kind of a douchey predator I might have become had I fallen into the hands of a shameless master such as one of the many who have been brought down in scandals of late. That’s not to say men have no proper place in tantra. We men need to teach, train, and condition each other to bow down, serve, and devote ourselves to Shakti. By doing so we are not spiritually immature soul-sucking parasitic “submissives”, we are true warriors and earners of the classical tantric title of “Vira” (Sanskrit for “hero”). By humbling ourselves and sacrificing our egos on the altar of divine feminine wisdom, we can be graced with higher knowledge beyond conception. By being vulnerable, dancing and chanting open our higher chakras we can hope to climb towards the majesty that is the cosmic womb, fractally distributed to every wombyn on Earth. When we men become Yoni Worshipers, the Yoniverse will bless us with blissful revelations and incite us to build Goddess Temples. Demonic energies devoted to greed and war will be transmuted and evolved into divine service works to heal the planet and restore regenerative culture.

All men have known the desire to impress a love interest. It has been my experience working with female tantra teachers both “hands-on” and “hands-off”, that this sweet and innocent drive can become a most rewarding spiritual practice. What if men were taught to also seduce and impress those beloveds only seen by the third eye, only wooed by recitations of their mantras. What if men could become so shaktified that every sexual act would be devotional meditation, performed in a ritual container, meant to honor and please not only his partner, but also to appease an invoked Goddess?

The rape culture is a symptom of desacralized sexuality. The objectification of women, could also be called the materialization of women. I have been taught by Rhoda and now many others to spiritualize women by honoring their Shakti, and in turn cultivate Shakti within. There’s no better return on investment, I promise.

I sometimes call myself a gender traitor but I’m not a self-hater or a man-hater. Men have potentially infinite strength and power, we are vital ingredients in the energetic alchemy that is red tantric practice. We, in our diverse physical manifestations and sexual orientations, are essential to the electrical engineering circuitry and triangulation of duality towards ultimate unity. Thanks and praises to the ancient tantric devotees and adepts who encoded an unforgettable schematic in both the mild and wild depictions of Kali on top of Shiva. He’s supine to symbolically represent humility and sacred subservience to the divine intelligence and superior sexual-energetic capacity of the Goddess.

In less flowery and more modern language, a man needs pussy training the way I child needs potty training. My work with Rhoda has always been platonic, hands-off and clothed, yet she has taught me some of the most important practices to ensure I’m able to endure the ravaging of a multi-orgasmic woman. The first steps on the path towards male sexual continence, aka “ejaculation choice”, are to activate and open the higher chakras so that all of that high voltage erotic energy has places to go that are up and not out. The bigger and stronger a man’s heart chakra, the more ripped his pelvic floor muscles, the more expansive his lungs, the more loose and limber his hips, the better tuned his singing voice, the less he’ll have to fight premature ejaculation and the more present he will be to behold the rapture of his beloved. The satisfaction and transcendence I have co-facilitated with my lovers can be attributed to the most fundamental and non-explicit tantric practices, most of which were taught to me by Rhoda.

In the near decade I have had the pleasure of knowing and working with Rhoda she has blessed my tantric path and career with a formal and customized initiation program, blessed my music albums with mantras and meditations, blessed my gardens with her eco-spiritual workshops, blessed my acting and educating career by inviting me to model in her film productions, blessed my romantic relationship beginnings and endings, blessed my film productions with her insightful reviews. She has been a perennial blessing.

Disappointing her would be devastating. There will never be a team of jocks, nor frat brothers, nor sympathetic parents, nor heartless lawyers, nor slimy agents, who will push me violate or excuse me for violating the sanctity of a woman’s body/mind/spirit. I have too much to lose.

I’ll end on an uplifting note. When I first watched Rhoda’s Chakra Rights Meditation video I felt like Neo being psyched up to rise above the rules of the Matrix by Morpheus. I got chills and felt a deep ancient roaring power boil in my blood. It occurred to me that I should build some wings to help it fly so I tucked it into a mid-tempo trance track with a root note of C# in A=432hz tuning so it would be a perfect 136.1hz Om frequency experience. Selfishly, it made it easy to dance and meditate regularly, it was like a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich in a baggie. Ready-made, ready to go. Selflessly, it has become a tool for rapid tantric initation for my own students. A sacred dance music track is worth a 1000 mantras, and probably hundreds of thousands of English words. I have prescribed it to skeptical private coaching clients, I’ve warmed up workshops with it, I’ve romanced lovers with it, but so far it’s most glorious application has been the following. I started a Tantra for Sexual Abuse Survivors group and one of the attendees happened to be a social worker providing rehabilitation services for juvenile criminal sex offenders. She took a liking to the Chakra Rights Meditation track and reported to me a couple months after we’d started working together that her clients, who she compassionately and maternalistically referred to as her “babies”, were now dancing and meditating along to it as part of her group therapy sessions. It melted my heart to learn of this and I immediately thought of a talk by Dr. Robert Sapolsky, a scientist on the biology of human evil. In one of his talks he quotes a Catholic Nun in Louisiana who ministers to death row prisoners who said, “The less loveable the person is, the more you must find the means to love them.”

I’m a survivor and as much as I want revenge, I know love is a more powerful instrument of restorative justice. All the abusers on Earth are victims of necrosis of the chakras, their chakras are rotting in the putrid dungeons of non-love. Their innate connection to the source love within, to the natural love of the Earth below, to the divine love from above, has merely been choked off, encrusted, and plaqued by their own early life and past life abuse and trauma. The antidote, the solvent, the disinfectant is love. Love is a vibration that has to be sustained for it to resonate. I trust Rhoda to co-lead the choir. If tantra can be entrusted to people of integrity like Rhoda, I will have great hope for humanity. And I will hope to be given good missions and assignments by a growing decentralized intelligencia of dutiful mothers who train and teach boys and men to salute, bow down, sing, and dance to the little and big “G” goddesses throughout the Yoniverse. May we all seek to eternally impress Shakti in her infinite forms, and hope to earn the opportunity to sip of her divine nectars.

Sharing Kundalini Virginity TPP01 Transcript


Please note this is a machine generated transcript, as time and resources allow it will be revised and updated. Thanks for your patience and understanding!

Oh hello dear beloved’s this is the Tantra punk podcast thank you for joining me this is the first episode and I decided it would be fun to start with a old discussion I had with a one of my most beloved and dear true love partners when we both shared our Kundalini virginity with each other and had an amazing multi orgasmic evening together that was so mind-blowing we had to we had to make a an audio recording to archive how amazing it was so I’m sharing that with you hope you enjoy it I apologize for the sound quality of the original recording and I put in some sort of mellow mild loops in the background to help smooth that out so hope you enjoy it and I will be publishing more soon thank you not a stiff the intention was that I wanted to be able to know where we were together our relationship was together and where it was where it was going so I wanted to see a path of where we were going in the future whether that be to remain to be close and lovers or whether that was to be friends or two in at least a different different area option that we could have pursued and so you know I just wanted to kind of see a light and there was no wrong answer like everything was ok everything was welcomed I felt very open to what that would be so that was my intention just have a vision of what what was to happen for I snacks and I agreed and shared the intention we did a little bit of smudging with some sage and began the first tantric exercise the breast massage which involves slow gentle circular cupping kept circular motions with the giver sitting behind the receiver was the receiver Lang laying into them text and the goal is to saturate the role of the giver is to provide a very nurturing comforting like nest to fall into and two movies tension into and be fully comfortable to allow the best massage to open the shark the heart chakra and really begin just opening up the center of female stored energy and I just learned the other day which just seems obvious but it was well put that women hold a lot of energy on their heart and men hold water energy in the genitals and that can either be you know frustrated like heartbreak energy or frustrated sexually a blue ball sexual desire energy but I definite or could be what whatever whatever the state of that energy is definitely true that that’s how it seems to work so it makes sense that it’s important to do work to allow that to open up that energy let it flow through the experience and have make sure it’s like turned on and for the male that has to be so it’s not just short circuited with a immediate ejaculation upon minimal contact the stimulation has to be woken up and consciously circulated before or to really get it to flow properly so anyway the do you want describe how the yeah I was when we first started I think I felt slightly awkward in just a little bit because I I wasn’t I didn’t know what to expect as far as like my heart chakra opening up because i felt like it was kind of like a besides I’m really Gotham is like a rusty cage good felt I felt kind of I thought cobwebs all over the place and and you started and it actually it I mean it took some time I take some time but eventually it started to lighten up and I started filling this you know this green beam coming from um between my breasts and I felt like I started to feel like I was starting to recognize that it was clearing up and then there was a moment where I mean because we’ve been doing this for some time and you stopped and you said you would you like to set up now and I thought about it for a second and it was it felt premature and I told you that I was just um I felt like it was just starting to work so it was really neat to feel where where when you stopped where I could assess you know how I was feeling at that moment and compare it to where i was when i started and then and then we started again and I kind of you know was able to kind of like play with that a little bit to feel where the range was I could feel it like regress a little bit when you stop and then when you start it again it you know I started to be able to open up again and and just kept going with opening it up and then the next step led to it just continuously like for the rest of night it wasn’t even an issue to try to make sure that my heart chakra was up where my heart was open to you it was it was open for the rest of the night pull on so that was my experience with the technique wonderful uh I felt very fully present I never felt as prison ever my life like that really brought down the whole attention and awareness into the moment and to the into the body into our bodies in a shared energy field and that centering technique made me think about what I the work I have been doing with Rhoda and her Tantra glow meditation meetups that we were doing over the last over the several times over the last over the over the year I I got to participate in it was it was all clothed you know just totally not explicitly sexual activity of any kind just meditation and pluck employing certain dimensions of tantric disciplines like root locks and PC pumping and entered you know incorporating awareness of genital energy and circulating energy through breath and all that stuff and just you know as compared to normal yoga where you are yoga that doesn’t explicitly incorporate like that form of training and one of the things that we would do is she would instruct us to be in lotus position and began making tiny sort of imagine there being like a tip of a spoon at the base of our spine you know it’s a root chakra and imagine that we’re stirring our root chakra with this spoon as slowly as possible in circles and like you doing that definitely seemed to begin to activate the release of the Kundalini coil and the just that I think the real power that connects your size is it just gets the slower you me slow circles like really kind of act like a vortices to get your all of your attention to flow into the point of now and like you know to have to it’s like focusing on the breath but it’s even more requires more attention than just focusing on the breath if you’re making these perfect revolutions that are like Tang in each part of its tiny so I was just thinking about that as it’s doing it I wasn’t I was moving pretty slowly but just realizing that you’re basically creating like a funnel for your attention and it’s very good technique so that’s this Mike what I was focusing on thinking about what’s that the aspect of it and definitely feeling the it being effective at opening and so next we faced each other fully undressed and did the holding cupping the genitals crosswise and pressing against the heart listen up with the other hand crosswise and then having eye contact and breathing we kind of naturally synchronized our breaths ever kind of unconsciously effortlessly it was just sort of flow we were doing we were doing a bit of the curving of the spine as the breath comes up here now and that was as where I was starting to definitely feel like the snapping together and locking in if like the piping that was connecting our chakras and stuff like especially with the heart like I could feel I could feel when the connection was like not snapped right if it wasn’t enough pressure or wasn’t in the right place i could feel could feel how it was fading or flowing so i would miss brittany and we were pretty much from this exercise it was pretty neat evolved into goddess position intercourse very very slowly very incremental E and very unconsciously just the this the writhing together became ultimately this almost effortless Union I think if we would have been on a flatter surface it would have been it would have been as if our genitals like sort of squirmed into each other without our manual help but we do have to use something you could mean because the bedding is really soft so the alignment was someone constructed but uh it was I felt like a continuous energy flow the way that things were shaped was kind of like an infinity sign and so I actually with my mind just kind of I felt like I could grab on to a piece of energy and just follow the whole flow all the way through my body all the way through your body thought the whole thing about you know going going up and into my arm going down to you know up into my chest and down to my torso and you know back out through my hand and into your genitals and then you know having that go up through you and after your torso and coming out through your arm and into my genitals and like how he was continuous type of I could just trace this energy all the way through Sophie yeah a circuit and and that was a really that was a really great exchange and you’re right but you know and I didn’t have my hand in the right spot you you did a like you would adjust it for me or have it you know be where it was supposed to be and it’s just the amount of pressure and the way that we were breathing made everything even more harmonious and even more just everything just called so well you know that’s that’s how I felt about it and actually I mean then yes so there was the the cupping and but that was like with an intention of like note not necessarily we’re not you weren’t really trying to stimulate one another at that point you know it was just like you know without you no intentional stimulation and so it was mostly about energy work but then we took it to a different step which was with stimulation so there was like two different steps and that you know and so that was that was intensified and that was it was a great transition into into intercourse for sure yeah yeah I forgot about that we did the solo masturbation with eye contact and then mutual masturbation with eye contact and and then we we came together in got his position and it was I I’ve been theorizing that that’s really the way to do it because you know without fail and every

individual knows how to turn themselves on with their own hands like so getting getting turned on getting ready for penetration and all that like man’s getting ready by getting hard you know woman’s getting ready by getting wet there’s no I think because people are conditioned to think that masturbation is bad they they think that it’s only okay for general touch to happen during sex if I you know by the other person and if that’s if you’re left to that then really you’re kind of driving blind so you have a solo masturbation warm up is it was great and then and then trading making going from that directly into a mutual state like I could like I realized I’m like man my point of leverage in my point of like the electrical feedback loop of like touch to sensation is going to be such a fraction of what you’re able to do you know I mean like tough like Here I am reaching over kind of i don’t i don’t know where you left off it’s kind of like I don’t know what I don’t know exactly like what pattern you were in or what rhythm you’re in or like what what you would exact what is that points you had like work yourself up to and another thing I learned recently in a sort of tantric theory stuff is it for for a man there’s no there’s no difficulty in locating the like center of the orgasmic stimulation or the center of the stimulation scent but for a woman it’s kind of ambient so it always changes I visualize like one of those electric crystal ball things where you have to put your fingers down in different places every time those points are going to be different it’s going to be different constellation of an episode of a female orgasm that encompasses a percentage of like every orgasm could be like calculated to have X percentage of g-spot stimulation in a ratio to cut oral stimulation and ratio to heart chakra integration all the sort of different content whole constellation of activated points that are being stimulated in some pattern to a point of where the orgasmic flow state is reached or the peak state or whatever is another one and has so beginning to do the you know take over on her genitals with the masturbation was like I could sense that like wow this is Sun it’s probably really good that you’re starting out like lighting up as much of that apparatus as possible because you because you’re able to follow the the pathways and no and control where they’re at and everything so and it felt great to be a have your hand stimulating me and yeah it was I was like sort of fading in and out of states of hardness I didn’t have any anxiety about her thoughts about it it seemed like it was kind of dynamically flowing with the experience and not being an issue like not even being really necessary when the level of the level of living I felt like by that time our entire body surface areas were Rajan it sounds like that was probably the the most surprising and amazing overall experience throughout the night was just the absolute non genital focus of where the energy was flowing and how like just the rocking of our bodies together was creating this like ecstatic blissful like full body orgasmic state I think indefinitely in me and it was so fulfilling that like the genital stimulation I was almost thinking like I’m gonna I want to spend you know years working up to like heavy full erect thrusting in the state because this is already like enough I’m already like satiated with just this like flaccid connected rocking gives me this ability to hold really like strong lock muscular positions without fatigue and without lactic acid buildup if it’s there it’s not perceived I’m able to like hold these contorted sexual positions and with like all all of this superhuman strength and like resilience and the the position or movement and like that the tight flexing of all my muscles in this rocking position and making circular movements and stuff it yeah it was like a similar to the kind of overall activation of muscle tone during the power/lock procedure of withholding ejaculation and having multiple male orgasms by sipping up the energy even when we were in like the in the states of like maximum hard stimulation and during intercourse for me it still never I never got to or near the point and of inevitability because I was so fully distributing that that energy throughout my whole body like it had just had really I mean and again I could have pursued that if and I’m like excited to continue to do that but I I felt like I felt like a lot of joy and taking this process incrementally and gradually doing more and more and just by I just felt very natural just to be embracing with all this energy and embracing energy and rocking the energy leaving lots and lots of possibility for like really wild extreme stimulation to to unfold in yeah what do you think about my flaccid penis well initially look I think that we started off with which is important for me because I do feel very like lesbian tendencies like I feel very very bi gay queer you know I feel very clear that’s the best word to use for myself and so so when we started off it was you know very you know oral and manual stimulation so it was uh so there was this amazing time and that felt like hours of this type of let’s type of pleasure and um and I experienced some of the most amazing deep orgasms I I feel like I had maybe thirty five orgasms internally just maybe more I mean I could’ve I I felt like I was having an orgasm on like an incident vibration like on an infinite note or something and and it yeah that was that was amazing and then after that is when we started to have intercourse with our genitals and you’re absolutely right I mean every every part of my body at that point was so reciprocate look like that yes I Raja nice it was so sensual I could kiss you for hours and feel really amazing and in bliss and connected and sexual and orgasmic even just just like kissing i shouldnt suggest kissing I mean it was like it was amazing he’s kissing you know and so having genital contact at all yeah with a flaccid penis or not because it wasn’t like you were me you were soft all the whole time you were hard and you would go in and out would be soft sometimes and and it was um it didn’t matter at all um I could keep and we just we were in this rhythm where we just were we were in it together and this like orgasmic zone for five hours of being there and so yeah it didn’t it didn’t relieves the burdens it’s so important I realizing that doing this whole body slow build-up full stimulation it relieves if it make it makes me kind of just flash my head like if you’re a couple that does not do all this elaborate you know foundation building then the female is essentially only reliant on the the hardness of the penis and its ability to hopefully stimulate the inner g spot side of the wall because that’s you know like it’s like if that’s all you’re if that’s all you’re connected the only point of connection you really have like your hearts aren’t really connected like you’re not really doing much else with your hands maybe you’re kissing and stuff but I certainly connected like you’re not really doing much else with your hands maybe you’re kissing and stuff but like you’re you’re ever both of your consciousness is focused on just the interaction between the grinding of the I think mainly it’s it’s yeah yeah just said quote genital focus and that that orgasm race I don’t yeah like none of that it was as if I mean to me it was as if we didn’t even know what orgasms were and that we were just like coming together for the first time in our bodies like without any expectation about what would happen we just went follow these currents of energy and so yeah I became very de-emphasize like where the stimulation exactly was coming from we just followed wherever it felt like it was was meant to go and surreal release of anxiety for for typical masculinity to be able to them know that you’re being just as as stimulating through heart space and touch and caresses and you know that so going back to the the kind of language section I was very creating a realm of where all that exists is this this vaginal entity and this oral entity and it would you know synchronizing them and the fingers and the g-spot and felt like I was a create an entire cosmos out of any of any anything you want to look at it flower you know you know you’re the wall lifer whatever catches your fancy huh and really allows you to transcend the monkey my name is the ultimate it is I mean you know there’s so much debate and controversy in the psychedelic community and the spiritual yogic tradition community and Alan Watts talks about it and Timothy Leary and everybody know it’s like it’s not a short path to enlightenment it’s not it’s a very very difficult arduous like demanding you know technique for ecstasy and enlightenment and accessing the divine and whatnot but one thing it one thing it definitely does seem to do very easily is like allow you allow an individual to transcend the thought stream and the thought stream is what breaks up your concentration your focus on what you’re doing so that’s why people love rock climbing playing music writing or painting all these things you’re in that flow state and the monkey mind and the thought stream is sort of you like break out of that of the gravitational field of that mind that part of the mind and you’re able to orbit get in break through and just orbit effortlessly in in a freer mental space so that was that was great i was able to I mean I’ve do that I’ve when we were in our least energized and most mechanical date you know we live together I would be problem solving in my mind at during Colin Fennelly it seemed like okay I can I can multitask here all right cool so I see I’m going to solve this problem solve that problem and meanwhile mechanically yes and stimulating you and your you’re getting

candy sex is it because it was cold and I didn’t really understand at that point my evolution what wasn’t necessarily hundred percent fulfilling about that pregnant I do one more point about that being able to fully create and immerse myself into the cosmos if just that interaction of organs visualizing myself as having that that flicking fast speed of an insect like sucking nectar you know from flower I could be he or something like when you see them under you know microscopy you see them like super fast cameras they have now you see like this the speed at which their electrical unit like their apparatus is able to move and like the just this it’s like six so exquisitely program the way that they move in so I was just channeling that and flowing with that and like you know trying to be a beautiful be dragonfly kneeling exactly kind of lingus giver and I though I thought of the worst-hit be annoyed because it’s like I’ve always felt that the sybian was a you know nothing could be transcended the power of the sybian but I’ve had an experience with the sybian before and it was I mean it actually wasn’t I mean I I don’t know a lot of people a lot of women have disagreed with me but I didn’t I didn’t fully enjoy it I remember feeling like it was too like at you know I I don’t know oh jeez mechanical isn’t mechanically it’s a you know it’s machine I remember feeling um I I don’t I think it took me a long time to have an orgasm I think I felt kind of uncomfortable on it and I just yeah I wasn’t I wasn’t feeling it I mean eventually I did I mean I a sybian as a friend of mine but it’s not like my best friend you know and so so yeah but with with this experience and it transcended like any type of city and experience I’ve ever had and it was more of course a lot more intimate and because like I was such an a climactic buildup of like a sexuality sensuality every little tiny touch every little kiss every little the short like the shoulders on my body at the top of my head like everywhere where my normally not be such like an essential places to touch echo you touch a woman shoulders who they’re going to make her orgasm probably probably not but it but I was I was definitely there in that state where that was the case so having that that’s only something that could happen with the heart connection to me to bring up that what the reason i thought about is I thought about ok why why can’t a human penis or human mouth or human hand like compete with the sybian both of them run on electrical energy both of them have mechanical moving parts what what is it that makes the human fail and it’s like it’s it’s the mental blockage it’s the fatigue I was able to like focus energy focus on creating patterns and then just execute them almost infinitely like it I felt like I felt like I could have gone forever that was an important piece and then I guess maybe the next thing is i would like to mention the evolution of the music which felt very well i often find that i’m setting up a playlist before you know there seems to be some sort of guidance system and some sort of intelligence guidance that’s happening because i felt like it was very choreographed the unfolding experience who started out with the blade runner soundtrack which is super we started out with a couple of psy trance tunes wind and then then we began like the rituals really with them Blade Runner which is super ambient cyberpunk futuristic stuff which really brought us down into that kind of down tempo rhythm and then when we started to lose the time of a certain type to get into intercourse the theatre of Tragedy stuff came on which definitely gave us that rocking power cord thrusting action and and then I was very sitting so that the choreography light when we switch positions for the well forget the Kama Sutra name for it but it’s the my favorite position for my stimulation at my fruit but my physical or my my penile stimulation and my visual and sort of heart stimulation I like to be on I like for a woman to lay on her stomach and for me to be on her back and I can I can stand up on my on my arms to see my favorite part of the body the booty much as I want and I can lay back down and have our bodies be like fully connected from head to toe and also the just the mechanics of the interaction between the penis and vagina at that angle is conducive to maximum g-spot stimulation and it’s just and deeper more full penetration and so I was loving that and then it went into my favorite psychedelic death metal band from the early 90s which is the band cynic which is all about transcendent all their songs are about hindu philosophy and stuff and they’ve got a synth work going on I was definitely really feeling the the that magical just infinite they have amazing album cover to this is beautiful like dragon dragon fly sort of cosmic being and I was definitely feeling that the hyperspace just a massive infinite design and beauty of like being and the music and the sex and the out of body flow stayed with these beautiful forms I felt like we were sort of dancing in this ocean of these you know kind of for me the visual is like this a dense ocean of dragonflies mixed with jelly fishes or something and as my friends like to see ya and did they say about the given it from the vine damn that was an ossifer it lasted for a very long time I had a lot of internal orgasms and then I had one clitoral orgasm and usually after I have a plural or I chasm I’m unlike I need a break like I need a little no I need some time to kind of regroup from that very rarely do i keep going I had no problem with keeping on going after that at all I was just it was just this constant rhythm the music was important like the music I felt like it was a master ceremony using and there is like this yeah this guiding force of how our energy was going to be exchanged between another and um yeah that was also quite lovely shooting box an eternity and just flying around soaring through hyperspace together just wonderful yeah it’s definitely come like that movie The Lawnmower Man where they show like the blissful part of their union was great I definitely was traumatized by the the more predatory park which was indicated by the asshole from the military experiment switching the formulas so that Joe would have the evil aggressor Dominator monkey alpha male thing going on but I know whoever whoever designed that and as Terrence always says the fucking the pure programmers of the fucking freaks with hair down her asshole has acid head hippies it built built all that stuff so whoever whoever made that movie really I think had some sense of what it’s like to be and that was hyperspace that they were depicting there you know in cyberspace here picking hyperspace so there’s a lot of that yeah cosmic oceans fluttering and then lots the music the way cynics music is it’s like so filled with like these vistas you know you get the music takes you to the peak of a mountain and shows you like the plan view of this valley and it takes you under water and takes you the clouds and stuff like that psy-trance is very well designed to do that as well so yeah I was myself my it was yeah it was the quality of a continuous like flow state of orgasm it was and I had them have been working on this in doing this I pretty much stopped ejaculating I’ve stopped having a desire to ejaculate like when I masturbate I masturbate and just hold it’s a power lot you know and just plateau and plateau and plateau and it seemed to all be pointing towards this this experience you know like it I kind of feel like I’ve been in training you know for and I have been very very isolated in my practice and feel like it’s this has been like my black belt I wasn’t pursuing heavy genital stimulation for myself I was we’re just trying to work with and if and when in that position i was able to i was absolutely very hard little time and very strong and full all that and put totally not victim too oh my god I have to stop moving every second i was able to just continuously move four fucking hours it seemed like without any concept of time without any without any anxiety or fear or desperation about becoming over stimulated and ejaculating and all that like it was the most liberation from that and that’s what I’ve experienced in sex every every single time I’ve ever had sex it’s like holding back the pleasure because it’s just going to blow your circuit and this allowed that to be totally transcended yeah it was great and I i should say to that this whole since i’ve been getting into this stuff since I beginning into a tantra and like you know I I was like I want to I want to achieve something it was not to push my limits and see how much stimulation I could handle and like really myself become the I wanted to give I wanted to get you I route I wanted to focus all my energy on really your your pleasure in their stimulation so that I could know that it was possible for you to have work achieve like orgasmic flow States achieve satiation spiritually energetically and I think he felt the same like didn’t feel the need to like go through another 50 positions or whatever and totally could have just didn’t seem necessary and seemed like we have other work to do and that’s about when it the music loop back to the beginning and the beside trance came on again and that led to our getting up and hugging it down to subside chance for a couple hours which is like that was ultimate fulfillment for me because I felt like I knew I feel like man I’m not gonna be able to share this love of this experience I know the songs really well so for me the energetic choreography was like already fully there so I got to be the lead the dance and ride the emotional cocktail the emotional pharmacy that was timed with the music

and some songs were really joyous and blissful and freeing just loving and some of them were getting into the darker intensity of the struggle and the mission and like I definitely used the opportunity to put us together in two different configurations that were going to maximize the bonding the bonding and feeling of those energies and also we saw that I introduce you to my vision that I had last time which was like seeing myself in the wall and this like kind of headrest shamanic otherworldly state with my attention focusing at a point in the middle of the room sort of and I sat you down once you could see that that where I was and see the focal point of my attention in that friend that figure on the wall i SAT you down and yelled you down to the position that I had seen you in the vision last time that’s where you appeared to me and all of the room conspired to create this focal point of view being right there so magically you know and I actually played the song that was playing during that time I went I said I want to play our song and this was the song that evoke you in that vision so I played it and you were in position and then totally unconsciously I wasn’t thinking of doing this at all but unconsciously I felt my hand vibrate with this great thick powerful energy and start to move in like helix type spirals up the up your spine and I was like all right this is it this is the Kundalini energy for surely and I have it in my hands like I’m sculpting it and writing it and bringing it up the spine and of course the heart and then we continue to dance with it and bring it up higher into higher chakras and to come together into long states of bonding yeah and then we hit we after after that some really intense energy work there we just continued to really have fun dancing and listening to a few more songs and its really thrilled to just be able to just be blissful and dancing and dancing through the night for couple hours and then put back on some mellow music laid down and crashed out and just remain glowing when you know I was I was kneeling on the floor and and then cuenta de Valle he said dude do you see me over there and I looked and he was right he was right there and you know I saw his face into the wall and so I yes yes I see you and he’s it okay well he started like even really saying he actually put his hands on me and I could feel where he was like one hand was on one side of my torso and when hand is on my back side and and I could just kind of feel his energy coming through me and um and he was kind of living my body around and it was like I’m my body knew exactly how to respond there was like this amazing dance between him and I energy of yeah rising up a Kundalini feeling just feeling a slow learning type of like amazing bumping um swaying rhythmic kind of motions going gone to help my energy raised up enough and it was it was really beautiful experience and what was really neat about it was that I felt like how almost like professional like oven that’s all right it’s kind of like you know professional ice skaters are you know um you know just like you know there was like this kind of like or playing a piano like playing piano like you know play I play that instrument it was like knowing the notes exactly by heart it was um you know it was just the sort of like playing off on another’s bodies where we knew exactly what how to move and what to do and that was what was really fascinating to me not having a moment of hesitation or questioning but just really kind of like bumping off of each other and in that way yeah and so yeah I ended up really um enjoy myself with the music um and you know I I felt like I just held back for a bit but then towards the end of the two hours i was definitely dancing to trance music hello I was dancing to try and see Zach I I’ve never really done that for um you know I felt good about that and maybe it’ll make me look at it like trance music a little different from here on but I’m not really sure I guess I’ll of the wait and see but but I feel pretty good about her right now I don’t yeah yeah it was yeah it was really good we really needed that we should be fucking keep it and so much of our relationship when we live together was like this total misalignment of energy like we were able to to really where we really flow together in sober sex and drunk sex and sleepy sex and you know we have this potential to really sink up and to really be one or I think we achieve that to a great degree like in our in our sexual practice and are just holding each other sleeping together eating together being very close and very compatible but often in daily life we had a lot of friction and a lot of inability to flow together and to be one to absorb the impact of like the fucking random crazy shit that happens out in the world and to flow with it together and I think I hope that this experience helps us maintain that dynamic flowing alignment that so often breaks us apart and puts us into our separate minds and our separate egos when we’re encountering you know the hustle and bustle so I think this will definitely nourish and energize the chakras and give us the strength to carry on and keep fighting for what we’re fighting for and magically manifest in our was full abundant eco Punk farming future