Ashley Manta

Best Practices for Sexual Healing Using Cannabis with Ashley Manta TPP283

In this episode I’m joined by the world’s foremost expert on the use of cannabis for sexual pleasure, exploration, and healing

About Ashley:

Ashley Manta is an award-winning sex educator and coach and has become a leading authority on mindfully combining sex and cannabis as part of her CannaSexual® brand. She recently completed her certification as a Bodysex® Facilitator after studying with legendary pleasure pioneer Betty Dodson. Ashley was named Sexpert of the Year at the January 2020 XBiz Awards. Her work has received recognition in Forbes, The London Times, Newsweek, Rolling Stone, and more. She is a brand ambassador for Sybian and Foria. Her book, The CBD Solution: Sex will be published by Chronicle Books and Merry Jane in September 2020.
Links:
Podcast: www.elevatedintimacypodcast.com (Also available on iHeartRadio, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Play)
Online courses: www.elevatedintimacy.com

My Non Verbatim Show Notes:

AM:

buffet of me

am sex and relationship coach

sex ed 13 years

start out of college, sexual violence prevention education

rape crisis counseling, victim advocacy

sexual assault awareness prevention

high schools and colleges

women’s center on campus

well rounded approach in trauma

such powerful work

healing for me as survivor, helping other survivors

high burn out

pivot, sex ed on health and wellness

planned parenthood,

in PA

moved to CA

ceiling on how high I could rise on east coast, sex negative attitudes

CA, openness around cannabis, alternative forms of sexuality, holistic wellness

2013, access to medical cannabis

changed game for me, dispensery, want to feel this or that

watershed moment

pain with penetration as result of trauma

product, thc infused oil for vulvas/yonis

decrease discomfort, increase pleasure

product changed my life

penetrative sex without pain first time as adult, game changer

started writing, speaking at events

one of leading experts on sex and cannabis in the world

TP:

amazing, feel you on all that stuff, listening and appreciating you have taken up that roll, surprising for me, and others

earth’s best kept secret, topicals, more herbal alchemy to get some of the places where its needed most, different kind of experience psychologically, different strains, stereotype around edibles making you crazy, body highs, different textures, how do you speak/present, what you should expect, absorb through tissues, nerve endings through those pathways

AM:

botanical ambassador, speak for the plants

one of most pervasive myths, sex and cannabis, you have to be stoned, stoned sex,

if you apply to body, it’s not gonna get you high, really useful, some folks don’t want to be high

flexibility, interact with plant medicine without intoxicating effects

things that will get you high, inhalation, ingesting, sublinguals, be mindful of smoking

effects rapidly 5-15 minutes, edibles, up to 2 full hours to feel effects

digestive track

thc goes through digestive system turns into 11 hydroxy, sedate, body focused version of thc, edible high different

edibles aren’t gonna make you crazy, however very very easy to overdo

guestimating, story dispensary, start too high

10mg take you on quite a ride

be very mindful about ways in which they interact with any kind of plant medicine

feel in, be present with experience, always add more later, impossible to subtract

TP: edibles face, I’m thinking everything at once, had some doozies, myself, took long time to realize, shouldn’t be potent, in something you’re gonna wanna take whole bites of and scarf down, cookies and brownies, should stuff a chili

how you describe effect of sensations apply to very sensitive genital tissues, how does it alter sensitivity of areas

AM: multifacited approach, everybody experiences differently, depends on how your body interacts, tolerance body chemistry, hormone levels

anything I’m gonna tell you, effects to look out for, grain of salt, mileage may very

broadly speaking thc is vasodialator, blood vessels capillaries to expand

more blood flow to area, mimicking arousal

swelling, in a good way, erections, notice tissue, blushing, thc when applied, kind of an important thing

more blood flow, more responsive tissue, hightened sensitivity

cbd, all the rage, cool, useful, not quite panacea, placebo, marketing, is helpful, manage expectation

cbd good for anti inflammatory, helpful if you have swelling that’s not good

inflammed tissues from trauma

if you’re playing with body chemistry do talk to doctor

due diligence

for me been to dozens of doctors, pain with penetration, no one could help me

thc reduction of discomfort

thc/cbd work well together

absence of discomfort, diminished discomfort

hightened sensitivity,

stamina, multiple orgasms

increased production of vaginal fluids, wetness from topicals

vasodialation, top reason

kick off lube centers

I’m a fan

TP: thanks so much, first time I thought about how it seems like the more holistic approach to erectile dysfunction, people might try this before they try something more big pharma-ish

something you’ve researched with clients

ED issue folks?

AM: I take a very holistic approach to ED, in my work with clients, really like to decentralize the phallus, sex can occur at different levels, less of I’m not hard so we can have sex, mouths, hands, toys, …

cock rings, reach for help create harder more sustained erections

with cannabis and erections very much, be very careful, threshold helpful, increase blood flow, very easily cross into “stoner boner” you can’t

erections more active process, if really distracted, really stoned, may not be able to focus enough on erection

try small small doses, see how works for you, holistic approach, dick doesn’t have to be hard to have a good time sexually, all these other things I can do,

TP: to your point, you’ve mentioned this before, decentralize the phallus hashtag,

from my experience I could see that decentralizing the phallus process, a lot of other folks like myself, working with other men, teach to have more mastery, awareness, stages of arousal, more in control of premature ejaculation, maintaining erections, arch of testosterone

can definitely bring attention, through self pleasure, more of a tantric lingam massage experience, wouldn’t want to have to maintain an erection to get someone else off, if just doing you or someone else just doing you

on that note, don’t know if something you administer, knowledge/experience

sexological body workers

pelvic massage work

AM: haven’t interfaced directly in formal sense, I do some hands on work in my practice

oils to play parties, tends to go really well

these oils are meant to be a marinade, don’t work in real time, actually much more effective for vulva/yoni more so than penises, unless you stick dick in jar for 20 minutes, don’t have some absorption as vulva

TP: enter the mangina

AM: certainly do anal absorption, suppositories, rectal absorption, very effective great for prostate, anal play,

penises, inhalation, ingestion, method more effective with regard to sexuality and pleasure, topicals for penises not super effective, a few folks works awesome, others, makes it terrible

TP: eventually formal studies, I am myself uncut, uncircumcized, can’t really compare in one life time to either, a plus for my absorption, this makes me also wonder if you have advice for strains for either smokable or edible that would be more exciting, stimulating for maintain erections, fun to have a stoner boner that works

AM: nice when that works out, not able to give specific, how going to work for you and body, everybody’s different strain that works for you and your body not work for someone else

strains can be different

things that make a different, even indica sativa

have to put on science hat, read lab results

turpines end up shaping experience

completely subjective

not exact science, not as easy as oh yeah smoke this and that will work for you

TP: emotional labor of doing trauma advocacy work, curious if you have adapted the cannasexual practices/teachings/offerings, for people who, physical pain, pathways advise people on to integrate different forms of cannabis in more psychospiritual healing tool kit for sexual trauma

AM: examine what’s getting in the way, pain, stress, stuck in head, flashbacks, disconnected from body, try different cannabis products see what’s useful in that area

random strain, gambling, don’t know how it’s gonna hit you, intention

more effective to get clear on what it is that you’re going for

for me, pain with penetration, topical really useful

injury from accident or trauma, knee, wrist

mental block, getting triggered, feeling disconnected from body, things you can inhale, different strains, which one is helpful to quite down voice in head

feel sensations in body

no one thing is gonna heal your trauma

not gonna be cannabis, or session with healer

awareness around body needs, communicate in real time

therapeutic professional

trauma healing journey, not just one shot, did this now I’m fixed

never want someone to say ashley said I can help my trauma with cannabis

it can help, it’s a tool

diagnosed ptsd

TP:

I’ve had to go through this initiation with cannabis over the years, life hacker, bio hacker thing, figuring out how to mitigate and minimize episodes of paranoia, don’t want to say overdose

gardening, green thumb/brown thumb

start with mint, rosemary, vs tomato, dries out, get triggered traumatized, brown thumb, a lot of times cannabis, negative formative experiences, sets them up for continue failure,

general advice around mitigating bad trip for smoking or eating weed

AM: overconsumption issue, thc has biphasic effect, opposite effect at high and low doses, subjective, broadly appropriate doses for you body, chemistry, likely to feel euphoria, relaxation, pain relief, hungry, social, spacey overall pleasant

when crosses over level, transitions into paranoia, nausea, dizziness, panick attacks, rapid heart rate, threw up once after a dab, more than system could handle

avoid that, low and slow

if somebody’s handing you something you’ve never had before, what do I need to know about this

cannabis events, last few years, stations set up people walk up and do a dab, vaporizing cannabis concentrate, 50-90% thc, average flower strain smoking, between 10 and 30 % thc, way more than would normally get in just a breath

way too much, have a bad time

or take an edible wait 30 minutes, don’t feel anything, take more, then 1.5 hours later, regretting all life choices in order

on that ride for 4-6 hours with edibles, can’t over stress importance of low and slow, think microdosing

TP: so useful, pivotal bit of insight

overdosing it’s that simple

you overdosed, if you drank too much alcohol the first time…

AM: usually don’t say overdose, OD means you’re gonna die, you’re not, even if you consumed shit tons of thc, you may wish you were dead, but you will not die, you cannot toxically overdose on thc, you can over consume

TP: overconsume, psychological stomach ache

AM: or actual stomach ache, small dab take me into next year

TP: kids these days, ok boomer, I filled in for somebody at a booth, trade show conference, everyone smokin themselves silly, all the people half my age, dabbing like it was going out of style, I didn’t take anything, just sitting there, worst splitting headache, chemical, felt like inhaling burnt tires

studies, is there any other words of caution around dabbing, vaping,

AM: dabbing and vaping, both vaporizing, vaping referring to vap pens, typically people seem to not get as, potency scale, flower not as potent as vape pens, not as potent as dabs, potency spectrum

very limited studies, require money, people not putting money into any of those things

lot of fears last year, vape pens issues with lungs, vap cartridges not idea method

problematic companies, putting bad products on market, cutting with vitamin e oil, counterfit products,

buying vape cartridge from gas station, think about what you’re buying

5 star restaurant or fast food, pay for quality, price point

do research on companies that are reputable

lab results, show they don’t have pesticides, microbials, savvy consumer, go low, less processed the better, organic lifestyle, closer it is to coming out of the ground, pesticides, molds, read lab results, be a savvy consumer

vaping flower is arguably the best way to inhale cannabis, because you are getting the cannabanoids at lower temperature, more effective, opposed to 1000 degree lighter, smoke in lungs, not great, be easier on lungs, may be better choice to consider

vaping flower

dabs be mindful of extraction method, butane, c02, heat and pressure, called rosin, my fav, very holistic, very nature, flower squish between 2 hot pieces of metal, organic, yummy, preserve turpines, broad spectrum flavor profile, do research

internet is vast resource a lot of shit out there, good stuff too

sex and cannabis professional alliance

articles all about sex and cannabis, one member is harvard md, two members, colleague sex educator, product formulator, robust group of experts, tips and insights

TP: awesome, in general from horticulture, eating utensils, moving away from heating up plastic in all sectors of life

old fashioned, I know about water pipes and chillums, one hitters, roaches, blunts, don’t know about high tech stuff millenials running around with, do like the notion of vaporizing, old giant magic ball looking things

opportunities to say, glass and metal only, very few plastic parts, for burning mechanism, imagine people are heating up a lot of plastic, I’m a wrong

AM: don’t see a lot of plastic in materials, in terms of the was in which you would consume, don’t see a ton of plastic, doesn’t stand up to heat, metal, glass, ceramic,

fav vap, vap exhale, desktop vaporizer, outside is plastic, never gets heated, everything that gets heated is either metal or glass, convection vaporizer, set temperature, lot of those on the market

ghost vaps, dozens, possibly hundreds

find the ones that are most inline with your values

TP: that’s a great introduction to cannasexual expertise, want to spend time talking about general sex coaching

certain modality traditions, how would you introduce that sector of the buffet of you

AM: not like most people, a little different, trauma informed, queer, body positive, inclusive coach, intend to be as thoughtful about things like trauma, body dysmorphia, gender, …as possible

masters program, philosophy, existentialism, western philosophy, inform the way I approach issues, question assumptions, reframing limiting beliefs

recommend folks have therapist and a sex coach

coaching if future oriented, solutions focus, where are you and where do you want to be and what’s getting in the way

opposed to how did you get this way, how do you want to integrate that into your narrative

TP: interesting, rebel, alternative, do you have advice for people who, its interesting when you have a client who is walking between worlds of orthodox therapeutic offerings and then having to reconcile 2 different voices and influences, do you feel like you ever clash with the mainstream therapeutic modalites, or stay in a lane where there’s no friction, is that possible

AM: so many varieties of mainstream, not all align with my values, from tantra, sex education, things I don’t agree with

I diverge, very inclusive don’t rely on gender binary, people with vulvas and people with penises, to not gender

hippie woo-woo witch, lot of focus on crystal healing, egg crystals in pussy

dangerous to be putting porous materials

toxic shock

TP: I don’t know enough about, I refer people out, to zoom in on that a bit, do you feel like, I’m sold, reports of women, as a penis having person, the experience of making love to a vulvaed person who has a yoni egg of some variety of material, their dexterity with pc muscles sense of awareness of themselves, nothing comes close and I never want to go back, the egg thing is something I’m sold on, still confused around what is safe or unsafe, to what degree, could we zoom in on that

AM: its a materials issue, there have been kegel balls, yoni egg is fancy hippie woo woo word for kegel balls, putting circular shaped item into vagina, using it to focus on clenching and releasing pelvic muscles, nothing wrong with that, that’s great, mindful in development, really great, no issue

it’s a material issue, crystals are not things you should put into vagina, however if you want a kegel ball made of silicone, of which there are many, or glass or metal or any other nonporous material, you’re golden

against idea, new age, rose quartz, heal me from inside, if we’re talking about energy, doesn’t have to be touching, it’s all magic, put on pubic mound…should have same effect

crystal healing, I use…i’m a fan…i don’t put them inside, porous material, can get bacteria embedded you cannot cleanse away, even soak with alcohol, soap and water, can’t completely sterilize them

bacterial vaginosis, yeast infection, reinfect yourself,

not supposed to leave it in for 6 hours a day

not good, to keep pc muscles clenched all day long

you have to relax, and contract, important to be able to both

most people with vulvas have too much tension

missing from yoni egg conversation, I’m gonna put this rose quartz in my pussy and it’s gonna heal all my shit…no no no, let’s not get carried away

TP: happy medium, just be mindful about mitigating risks, not going all in or all out, interesting

AM: you could put in condom, crystal core in middle of metal or silicon toy, but just throw a condom on it, that’s fine

TP: keep it simple stupid

AM: don’t over think it, rectally, don’t want to put anything in your ass that doesn’t have a bass

TP: sidebar, I’m good to go, coming close to good hour, feeling like, plenty for people to take notes on, give you some time to get back on track with exploration of your general sex coaching offerings, tell people how they can find you

AM: sex coaching primary work with women identified folks and couples, client based presently, all my sessions via zoom, don’t have to worry about vicinity, every once in awhile, in person, vip clients,

clients all over the place

coaching is definitely premium for good reason, really work hard with clients, give all tools at my disposal, resources, books I’ve read, things I’ve gathered into professional tool kit, offerings if coaching is not in your financial purview

podcast, free, access to my brain, not able to work with me

elevated intimacy, everywhere podcasts are available, really really great opportunity to get access

destin gerek on a few episodes ago, his new book, great opportunity for folks to get free knowledge

elevatedintimacy.com

hand sex master class

dirty talk quick start guide, email list

first to hear when dirty talk course is available for purchase, excited to offer online courses, privacy, own time, exciting offering

couples retreat in Jamaica, plan, end of october, over halloween weekend, sex and cannabis couples retreat, at cannabis friendly resort

lovedirtytalk.com

phone sex operator for a year, very much my wheel house, teaching dirty talk, easy for me, want to make it easy for other people

TP: I’ve been phone sex operator myself, should be general requirement for any sales, marketing, college track to be able to speak with confidence

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