Monthly Archives: February 2020

Peace Magic and Truth Healing with Dr. Thomas Clough Daffern TPP249

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Dr. Thomas Clough Daffern Pic
In this episode I’m joined again by my favorite Tantric scholar Dr. Thomas Clough Daffern for another adventure in tantric studies.

About Thomas:

Dr. Thomas Clough Daffern B.A. (Hons.) PGCE. D.SC. (Hon), PhD. is a philosopher, historian, teacher, poet, author, lecturer, musician, thinker, educator, consultant and peace studies specialist. His academic background includes degrees in European and world history (with political philosophy) and religious education, plus a long period of intense personal study in philosophy, religion and the history of ideas – together with over 30 years teaching experience in the same fields. He has also trained and practised in conflict management within communities and schools, specialising in multifaith and multicultural mediation. He is also a trained and experienced teacher in secondary schools, specialising in philosophy, religious education, history and citizenship studies. He was awarded his PhD from the University of London for a thesis which explores the history of the search for peace from 1945-2001 and which proposes a new field of historiography, Transpersonal History, as the best way to establish a rigorous discourse on peace among rival and contending spiritual and intellectual traditions, currently battling for hegemony on the planet. He is an expert in research techniques and methodologies on all aspects of history, religious studies, the history of world philosophy and transpersonal psychology. He has lectured in peace studies, philosophy and religious studies for many years at the Universities of London and Oxford, and has spoken twice at the UN Headquarters about the role of Universities in changing the climate of fear and violence on the planet to one of trust and wisdom-seeking. He is a founder and coordinator of International Philosophers and Historians for Peace and has worked with philosophers and intellectuals from many countries worldwide to help establish intellectual and spiritual networks for peace and goodwill. In 1990 he was elected in Moscow as Coordinator of International Philosophers for Peace, a specialist body of philosophers worldwide searching for peace and international understanding.

He is Director of the International Institute of Peace Studies and Global Philosophy (IIPSGP) which works across many academic fields to bring together all those with an interest in and a commitment towards the study of peace and philosophy on all levels of the personal and global and to applying the qualities of love and wisdom to the resolution of the problems and tensions of today’s world. IIPSGP arose out of a feasibility study which Thomas undertook for the University of London into the proposed establishment of an Institute of Peace Studies (from 1989-1992). IIPSGP now operates as an autonomous Institute with members scattered worldwide. Thomas is also Founder of The Global Green University, which has arisen from the work of IIPSGP and was launched in 2000 as a pilot project in complementary higher education, to bring into being a new global higher education initiative which can provide space for the deeper kind of learning which we believe is needed at this time of critical transition in the history of planet earth.

Thomas has developed long term educational programmes to widen understanding of the causes of conflict and approaches to peace and to assist social and cultural development. He has also created, (in association with the Gandhi Foundation and the World Conference on Religion and Peace), the Multifaith and Multicultural Mediation Service. The M.M.M.S. is the first mediation service to specialise in disputes in which issues of faith and/or culture are present. He has also served as an educational adviser to numerous organisations including the UN and UNESCO. He has travelled widely in India and has visited 8 times, travelling throughout the country and meeting academics and spiritual seekers. He has extensive knowledge of Indian religious and philosophical teachings and has proposed the formation of an Indian Union Mediation Service to prevent conflicts in the entire sub-continent. He is a lay member of the Anglican Church, as well as a practicing Druid elder, Qabalist, Sufi, Yogi, Tantric and universal mystic with an extensive knowledge of all world religious and philosophical traditions. He served as educational director of the Gandhi Foundation with the late Surur Hoda, and as Secretary General of the World Conference on Religions and Peace (UK and Ireland) from 1990-1997 attending and contributing to many of its international conferences in Rome, Vienna, Sweden and Paris. As an ecumenical esotericist and universal mystic, he has also spoken at Theosophical, Anthroposophical and other esoteric organisations and networks worldwide, and helped convene the Network of Wisdom Schools at the Theosophical Society headquarters in London in 2000 for Sancta Sophia Seminary. He has spoken in Edinburgh to the Edinburgh International Festival For Middle Eastern Spirituality and Peace on several occasions, running a workshop there on the Esoteric Dimensions of Peacemaking in the Middle East, focused on his book The Qabalah Runes. He has lectured in the USA on various occasions, including at Sancta Sophia Seminary, as well as at Findhorn in Scotland and the Edinburgh and Israeli Theosophical Society.

Please visit his websites at:
https://thomascloughdaffern.wordpress.com/about/
http://www.educationaid.net/
http://globalgreenuniversity.com/

 

LETTER FROM EUROPE – by DR THOMAS CLOUGH DAFFERN – MARCH 2020

I was asked to supply a monthly update from Europe on developments in peace, nonviolence and geopolitics etc. Here, we have been watching events in India unfold with some perplexity. Since I was recently in Delhi for the International Conference on Peace and Nonviolent Action that Rajasthan Patrika reported on in December, I thought I would supply an update. Our Youth Wing, for the World Intellectual Forum, that we set up in Delhi, recently issued a declaration that is important, regarding the recent chaotic street battles in Delhi, that bring so much sorrow to all who love India here in Europe and throughout the world. Therefore I hope that readers of Rajasthan Patrika might like to see what we said.

DECLARATION ON NONVIOLENT INDIA – WORLD INTELLECTUAL FORUM – YOUTH WING

In December 2019 we founded in Delhi, the World Intellectual Forum Youth Wing. This was during the International Conference on Peace and Nonviolent Action organised by Anuvibha, the international Jain peace organisation founded by the late Jain Saint Acharya Tulsi, based in Jaipur, which works for a nonviolent world. Already in December some restlessness on the streets of Delhi had started as a result of the Citizenship Amendment Bill legislation. Now in February 2022 the situation is escalating, Many people in Delhi are scared that unless this violence is stopped it will only get worse and worse. We are reminded of the tragic riots that happened in India when the British left in 1948 and rioting like this between different religions broke out in Calcutta. It only ceased because Mahatma Gandhi had the courage to go there to fast to the death unless it stopped. Fortunately Muslim and Hindu leaders were able to get their people to stop fighting with Gandhi to lead them.

So now, in February 2020, on behalf of the Youth Wing of the World Intellectual Forum , we want to say to our dear friends, young men and women and teenagers of Delhi (and other citizens in India) that

1) we are all first and foremost human beings – whether we are Muslims, Hindus, Sikhs, Jains, Christians, secular, no matter what party we belong to, or what God we pray to – so let us treat each other always with respect and reverence and kindness

2) It is vital for young people to break the cycles of violence that we inherit from the older generations. Let us not perpetuate these outmoded wars between Hindus, Muslims, Jews, Christians etc that have been going on for millennia. Ours is a new generation and we have the power to begin the world anew, to start a new story, of peace and prosperity in India, if only we refuse to be recruited to these old narratives. Let us instead respect all religions, and let us study together their pitfalls and their glories, just as Akbar did in his days, or theosophists did in the time of Mahatma Gandhi. This tolerance and great mindedness is the true India we know and love.

3) The vital genius of India’s contribution to the world’s civilisations has always been in her philosophical depths – in Sikhism, in Jainism, in Buddhism, in Hinduism, in Islamic Sufism,, in theosophy, in Gandhi’s ahimsa movement etc, and this is the India we wish to reawaken and therefore we appeal to the young people of Delhi – Let us not get involved in these conflicts on our streets ! These are not our fights. Our fight is the true inner jihad towards knowledge, towards wisdom and towards true love. We can show our dislike for the government laws such as the Citizenship Amendment Bill nonviolently, by out-thinking our political elders, and coming up with better, more peaceful ideas.

4) We appeal likewise to the police and the army – protect the weak and innocent and do not take sides. In communal violence like this everyone is a victim, so you must be scrupulously neutral and try and stop all the fighting. The state of Indian is by law a secular state with the judges, police and army sworn to uphold the rights of all Indians to go about our daily lives in peace and safety. We appeal to your as professionals not to make this situation worse but to smooth over these difficulties and restore peace.

5) We appeal to the government of PM Modi likewise to cancel his order of 3 billion dollars to the USA for weapons and killing machines and instead, use this money for peace education, nonviolence training, for putting classes on mediation and consensus building and civic awareness into every school in India. Let our children and young people learn about the glories of each other’s’ spiritual and intellectual heritage – let us be proud of the generations of great scholars, saints and sages India has produced in all faiths – and let us not allow a climate of fear, distrust or racial or religious superiority to creep into our national character.

6) At our founding conference in New Delhi we heard from leading experts of nonviolence education and training that there is way for people to learn to overcome violence. Experts came to India from many countries around the world and shared their practices and expertise. We want the youths of India to learn these skills, how to master difficult emotions of vengeance, hatred, jealousy, fear etc. and how to replace them with love, compassion and skinless – and this should be for all Indians, whether we are Muslim, Jain, Sikh. Zoroastrian, Bahai, Hindu, Buddhist, Christian, secular or whatever. Peace is the birth right of everyone on earth and everyone in India.

7) We urge that the government of India therefore authorises training in nonviolence as part of the educational right of every Indian school and university student – and we pledge to work with young members of all political parties in the Indian parliament to make this happen. We urge that an emergency meeting of MP’s take place in the Raj Sabah to hear from us and listen to our demands that India restore our default position of peace-ability. We used to be the mecca of the world for all who love nonviolence, and this violence on our streets now is shaming our heritage and our true good name.

My Non Verbatim Show Notes:

6 months since we spoke, a lot going on

comparative philosophy, see the job as medical doctor, very interested in medicine

tantra, buddhist/hindu argued before we can reach enlightenment we have to have health

enlightenment is spiritual health

planetary outbreak of dis-ease

ease is health, got this disease going on

occupied with coronavirus outbreak, from metaphysical perspective

tantra mutual healing

never gonna get healing unless we get through

tantra, tan = extension, tra = truth

truth is the transcendental principle that unifies opposites, also in word three

when conflict, the third principle, the threesome goes beyond and creates truth

situation on planet, all these conflicts,

watching impeachment

britain totally polarized over brexit

deli, we think of india as a place of tantra, love, but rioting gangs of youth

metaphysics of tantra, the transcendental reconciliation of opposites

problem on planet, politicians not capable of telling the truth

truth is whatever advances there party or position or keeps them in power

suffering from a truth deficit

chinese outbreak, wuhan

mainstream documentary, australian television had a crew in wuhan, outbreak of corona virus

interviewed people, documented outbreak

what’s revealed is pretty shocking

first case december 1st, thought normal pneumonia, then a few doctors realized a problem, lots of cases, more than normal

created a chat forum, people started dying, realized it was serious

tried to share case histories, secret police came in and arrested the doctor

clamped down on sharing of information, suppressed it, delayed medical response

police tried to sweep it under the carpet

not gonna get healing unless with get truth sharing

china, truth is what the party says

whole thing began to spiral out of control

documentary on youtube

1000s of cases started coming, people just lying down on the street to die

filmed, like in a plague, whole city, size of San Francisco had to go into lock down, sealing doors, curfew, hospitals staff going crazy, full of patients, no treatment for it

documentary is scary everybody walking around with masks, people in white suits picking bodies off the street

that’s happening now as we speak

historical place of taoism, wisdom traditions for centuries

what caused it, it looks like, scientists haven’t agreed on this

australian team, isolated the virsus, done gene sequencing, looks like a virus that came from bats, it can’t come into humans, it came through a medium, another mammal, theory goes, meat market, somebody handled infected animal

what’s weird, virus is combination of two things, bat virus but spliced with something like the hiv virus, replicating faster than normal virus

man made, 900 meters from meat factor, research with other colleagues, someone in bio lab, selling off old meat, man made weapon, a biovirus, leaked into human species, now going all around the planet, find that shocking beyond words

the chinese scientists have to come clean about this, have to own up, sorry we made this thing, have to get together with scientists in the states

however this is the crunch time for humanity, if we don’t do the truth sharing, if they deny it

other theory this is just a random mutation, statistics of that are millions against that

no its artificially created, trouble is, society there’s a truth scarcity, we’re not getting the facts

live in total fear, that’s the kind of symbol of where we’re at as a planet

symbolism of these masks, afraid to touch each other, complete opposite, of sharing, loving, compassionate togetherness of truth

through truth

TP: peace with nature? Learn hard lessons, silver lining

TD: there should be such a huge revulsion against military industrial complex, this might be the catalyst for huge change in china, secrecy of communist state, ruling the people with iron fist, not allowing information to circulate, if it turns out they actually made it, cause for change in china

might be silver lining, there are brave people speaking out

story of how it came it be has been smuggled out of china

send compassion to all the people who are suffering

truth auditing of our own lives

of our relationships, are we with the right person, do we share truth with them

not contributing to that fog of lies

want to share a teaching, doing a commentary on a buddhist scripture, buddhist tantra was my open to all this in my early 20s, studying at university of bristol

quote from early scripture, translation, core biblical equivelant:

path to dharma, the essence of truth

basic truth of buddhas noble truth, our thoughts our mentation, arise out of impure thought, greed, who’s ever inventing weapons like this, they must be demented, horrible weapons

not it’s information warfare, each state invested in internet hacking against other countries, impure mind, if we go on doing that, suffering follows

that’s the bad news

we know that in our own lives, difficult relationships, whole of life takes on tone of suffering and pain, don’t want to go to work

we need to start to act and think and speak with pure mind, and then joy will follow us, as our own shadow

I would say to all the people who work in the defense industries, oligarchs, spin doctors, those are the demonic forces we’re up against, the only way to turn this planet around, is to apply the tantra of pure mind, that’s what I’ve been working on for the last few months

musing on how we can do that

I’ve just published a book, encyclopedia of druid studies, going back to paleolithic time, magical systems called druidry, handed down orally just like tantric tradition

3 volumes 11,000 pages, years of work

druidry and hinduism, kabbalah, tantra

latest research by academics and practitioners

William Jones, welsh scholar, went to Calcutta 1780s, head of legal service in Bengal, learned sanskrit, realized it was similar to welsh, latin, greek, persian, coined the term indo european

realized we’re all the same people

it’s been a secret oral tradition, the other thing that interested me, they were the peace makers of the tribes, when wars broke out they would try to mediate,

the magi, what I’ve been thinking about, what we need is a new branch of magic, which I’m calling peace magic right, all kinds of books on magic, different occult things, we need to apply all that to peace work

a book on peace magic, a lot of tantric type meditations, visualizations, drawing on that work, we need to get a whole new generation of people actually practicing, their own magical potential for peace, dedicating that energy to peace work,

that is the resistance of our time, against forces that seek to separate us

TP: describe a working?

TD: first book, 50 different practices, dealing with different aspects of reality, section on energy of animals, shamanistic way, earth elements, section on time, the magic of time, how you can work with that, sections on relationships, love sexuality, how you can activate through sexual experience

each one has got a key thought, an image to work with, an actual exercise, you can do with yourself alone, or with a consort, it varies on what the different practices are,

banishing ritual on nuclear weapons, drawing on black magic in a creative and loving way, heavy invocations

black magic in a technical way, egypt, people of the eye is black, black is a very holy color, black magic was the land of egypt

talking of alchemy, the founder of alchemy, egyptian lived 200ad, panopolis, south of cairo, holy city, studied all kinds of esoteric stuff, he put all this stuff together, invented alchemy, the black arts of egypt, wrote a book on the meaning of the alphabet, sounds, the mantric sound, the guru gives the initiate, absorb self into sound current, go into the sound current of the cosmos, these sounds come from the gods, we’re spoken into being by the sounds of gods

if we can purify our minds, we can purify this world

fallen into a dark dream, alpha conquest, all they care about is there ego, not their power over their own shadow their own darkness

TP: ecological romance,

TD: forest, fruit trees, france, people live very simply, little villages, hamlets since the 12th century, slow easy pace of life, I love rural france, still got that old magic, full of mystery hear

let me tell you a bit about what I’m doing in delhi, conference organized by jain community, advocate non violence, gathering of all different faith, hindus, leading educators in non-violence, a guy who runs a sustainability lab, people from russia

I was an academic coordinators, quite a high powered conference, tragedy going on, jain part of delhi, yet a few miles away protest, riots, asked what’s going on, learned that this is all to do with the indian government, citizen amendment bill, anyone living next to india, border lands, if they want to apply to live in india, they can as refugees, hindu nationalist ideas, india for hindus instead of mother land of all faiths

muslims protesting, making them not feel welcome in india, in india very advanced sufi traditions, muslim scholars who took zero from india, made possible all the maths that they use, fusion between indian hindu and buddhist ideas, sufi spirituality, singing

this narrow minded faction in parliament, anti-muslim law, 200 million muslims in india, started rioting in the streets, since I left that was a few weeks ago, it’s got much much much worse, running street battles, people being killed, hindu and Muslim mobs looking to kill

amazing, next generation, doing brilliantly, issued a declaration calling on youth, because it’s young people roaming around in mobs, they don’t know apart from violence, issued declaration, calling on young people to basically not inherit the conflicts of the former generations, hate, goes on and on and on, like this in ireland, it’s time for this youth to say enough, I don’t want want your karma anymore, I’m a planetary citizen, trying to elevate that violent energy into the wisdom

TP: post national, digital citizen ship

TD: citizen of the cosmos, nation, where you’re born, comes from latin, that’s just where you happen to be born, I’m a Canadian if you want, earth citizen

rebirth process, have to elevate our identity to a higher level, grow up, not quit with you on the planet may go down, earth custodian, go this planet for another hundred million years, this planet can remain as an incarnational field for human life experiences, it will become too hot, life wont be sustainable

if we want, we’ve got it for a hundred million years, gives us enough time to solve our problems

druid gave torch of liberty to america, loved the american dream we want you to live up to it

we believe in that torch of liberty, each generation has to re-light it, not give in to dystopian negativity, drugged up, to disempower us

intellecting

TP: magical offering

TD: nature is the great alchemist, doing the work all the time, that’s why buddha sat under a tree to reach enlightenment

final bardic offering

educationaid.net

 

Love Poetry as Practice Meditation for the Moment of Death TPP248

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In this episode I share a poem I wrote which serves as preparatory meditation for the moment of death

Notion of preparing oneself to have an intentional thought form intentional desire at the moment that you transition to another form, at the point of death

if that is an acute moment, if it is a circumstance where you have the foresight to boot up a vision a meditation and run that, there’s supposed to be, some mystics say, that’s what’s going to determine where you go, if you come back, how you come back, all of that kind of stuff

how could it do any harm to have some practice in that arena, you could put yourself into extreme circumstances and actually simulate, jump into freezing lakes, give yourself a near death experience and practice your transitional meditation, I’m not promoting or endorsing

if you’re not going through the life review, maybe you’ll get an imagine in edgewise, or get to focus on or pause or something

I’d have to dig into the topic of actual near death experiences, versus perceived, the fear of your life being taken, versus seeing the light, going through the tunnel

I don’t think I’ve had a going through the tunnel experience myself, I’ve gone through physiological states of shock, lots going on there

the west is far behind on death studies, no reason to be morbid, just doing a lottery of what’s on my spreadsheet to share, daily content, daily podcasting, short sweet, little riffs I’ve captured in notepads over the years, worth storing for myself and now sharing

as an invitation to you the listener, if you could chose the final memory that you meditate on before you transition to a state where you want to get to access these memories anymore

if you were expecting to be passing over, passing through is there a time a place a moment that was so filled with grace, so filled with beauty that you’d wan to anchor in to that feeling, that would be the quality of spirit, for the life you had, what would that be, maybe write it down

I woke up in the middle of the night and wrote this as a love poem, shared it with the personal involved, charming endearing, depicts a moment you’d like to carry with you into eternity

could interpret in emo goth way

people spend a lot of time making horror movies in imagination about death

for me, ongoing until this moment is upstaged by a different moment, if I’m fearing death, if I’m being killed, if I’m dying I’ll want to remember this moment

Tiny Bamboo Hut Love

i remember the feeling of timeless cosmic perfection that was ambient as we embraced under the moon lit gaps in the roof of my tiny bamboo hut. turning my head to see her shadowy profile, i sipped the pristine dark beauty of her smile with my eyes, and with silent excitement i studied the statuesque shape of her ear and thought to myself she could have been the buddhas mother, the ancient serenity of pure natural love made me wish to stay in this state of sensual “beditation” forever. for the first and only time i could imagine what it would be like to be an immortalized ascended being, floating in the ether, gazing into the stars, singing sacred verses and chants learned ages ago from many past embodied lifetimes in primitive and advanced cultures from distant planets. together with my beloved consort, freed from the limits of the flesh, but granted the boon of everlasting access to the quantum impression left by one of our most blessed earthly moments. the mystics say you will be seduced by demons who control the gates of the bardo with fears, doubts, and distractions at the moment of death, but if you can hold in your heart and your mind’s eye, a vision of pure loving transcendence, then they by divine law the demons, your demons, will be forced to drop their swords, kneel and bow to you as you transcend the cycle of samsara and earn your place among the gods. don’t wait to your last day on earth to build your transcendent visionary meditation, hold the vision everyday they say. and i say, my ticket to fly high into the divine realms, is the memory of that moment, beholding her with all of my kind attention and adoration, under the moon lit gaps in the roof of my tiny bamboo hut, nestled into a garden, a garden nestled into a concrete jungle, a concrete jungle nestled into a coastline, a coastline nestled into a continent, a continent nestled into an ocean, an ocean nestled into a planet, a planet nestled into a solar system, a solar system nestled into a galaxy, a galaxy nestled into a yoniverse, a yoniverse nestled into our love, our love nestled into a magic shroom trip

Green House Repair, Tool Treasure Hunt, and More Land Lessons TPP247

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In this episode I share more from my list of updates and observations working on a permaculture project

My Non Verbatim show notes:

Don’t want to say full time

full spirited, full assed, full hearted

quality of attention, quality of design

subtleties

beautiful experience to be doing hard work, then pause whenever you feel like it

track an animal, meditate on a thought

or realize you’re doing something wrong and have to correct it

99 hours of design 1 hour of work

experience of repairing the hope house, large green house, provides shade protection from sun, rain, plastic sheeting and shade cloth

long half circle structure frame, walk into, looks like an aircraft hanger, giant commercial industrial ag land size

tend to get battered by sun, rain, this one had seen better days, weight from rainfall, pockets and pools of rainwater, adding stress and pressure onto the frame until part of it gave it

it did take down one of the main supports, could only walk about half way through it, just as wanna be Feng shui

geek, one of first things I did, create pathway conducive to moving through with wheel barrows

as an access point, had to do macguevering, more resistance than I expected being able to put it back up, hoped to be able to just get some leverage with a broom handle, that was not happening based on sheer weight of it, impossible to bend back into shape properly, able to rig together a floor jack to get clearance, opened up the path way, just a few inches of lift so you could easily walk through without ducking, it could stand on the side and hold it up, an adventure to figure out, beholding that moment when you create a clearance in a blocked area, that’s the kundalini magic, what a difference it makes when you have the infrastructure of free movement, metaphorical as well as quite literal removal of blockages, by any means necessary, for now not hindering access, and ability to practice the art of permaculture

its been an interesting meditation going through process of sorting through what’s become junk, the fact of life on any kind of rural ag land, generations and generations of stacked layers of dilapidated

, tools hardware, food wrappers, all kinds of madness, whereas a lot of people, myself at different stages, look at some of these heaps and feel really distraught, it’s been a breath of fresh air, something to sink teeth into, meditation aid, sort through and find gems, treasures, all these tools, that’s money that doesn’t have to be spent, just loved and restored and maintained, tested, higher state of repair, that’s just more assets more and more capital that make me feel even wealthier than I am, adventure, scavenger hunt

doesn’t feel that good to go and buy brand new tools, you have to really go out of your way and have a high budget to purchase items that are brand new

still to this day, a percentage of everyday goes into that process of sorting and seeking and finding new fun stuff, super exciting, exciting to find dank compost, mulch, find cuttings that have been planted, that are flourishing in overgrown areas

a lot of updating that needs to happen to spruce the place up, there was a peak state of of maintenance of all the plantings, all the permaculture zones, due to unforeseen circumstances, personal matters, its needed more love than has been available to it, this property, for awhile, that’s where I come in, be that booster shot of love, zipping around tiding things up, sorting and organizing

aha moments of discovering you recognize a plant, it’s hanging in there, you can promise it will have a home planted in the soil, good shade good moisture, good nutrients

cuttings, seedlings hoping to get in the ground this season, very invigorating, soul building, people out there that don’t feel useful to anything or anyone, planting things is the easiest way to feel useful to something

there’s no limit to how much you can love a plant and how much a plant can love you

while sweeping up, in the main hoop house area, there was a time when I had to be on a phone call, arguing, a c level argument of myself and a fellow creative business partner, very refreshing to be multitasking on my own time, on my own clock, my time, doing my work, multitask and roll with the frictions of creative minds butting heads, ultimately seeking alignment, this is the life I can have, I can do the Hollywood hustle as long as I’m far away from the urban madness, and actually enjoying my chores doing my clean up, multitasking with farm chores while grinding gears with contracts, not feel like a net loss

spent a lot of time cooped up in stuffy office cubicle environments have partner debates, if you ever get the chance, dancing too, I may be pacing a little bit, but every time I pace I’m doing some more sweeping, comedic to watch

maybe see people walking their dogs having business convos in the city

a few more things worth mentioning for this catch up, I’m not the biggest birder in the world, don’t have much knowledge of bird id, amazing action of predatory birds doing their thing, amazing aerial maneuvers, always looking up and remembering for most animals, most life on earth life doesn’t have to be more complicated than the honest living of seeking a meal

here there’s next level rubberized chicken wire, usually gives me creeps, tries to a find a way to get a little too close for comfort on sharp edges

trashy look, this stuff is less obvious at a distance, less sharp, safer

duty to try to find balance between rustic americana and white trash, don’t want to look like a junk yard, better have story, soul, character, black rubberized chicken wire, next level upgrade, less noticeable at a glance, tuck away that loud metal wire

I want to be post fence, post wire, and that feeling of being in an agriculture prison colony for enclosures, mainly to protect vulnerable livestock, in poor countries may not even have fencing material, have to use organic fences, fast growing shrubs and bamboo, it’s a luxury to not use those cheap materials here and evolve to a less prisony looking landscape

discovered air pruning pots that prevent the self strangulation of plant roots in black pots, air holes allow roots to know the boundaries and to stop trying to circle around, more natural growth pattern

feel better about long term health of the planets

more mother load ground scores of hidden compost piles, save me time, money, and energy to work with

finding lots more rosemary, part of my daily culinary/medicinal lifestyle

wanting to really move away from plastic as much as possible, clay pots, glass, whole set of stainless steel serving trays

subirrigation strategy, sterilish substrate, that can create a miniature wetland environment for starting seeds, saturate the bottom, organic matter on top, less organic matter decomposing underwater, if the organic matter is above that more sterilish medium, can afford to have more water and not wastewater running off through drainage wholes, having done it right have very vigorous, strong, happy healthy seedlings, ongoing supply of moisture, they’re not constantly going through shock of near drying out

lots of frogs, met my first couple of big toads out here, really stoked to see these beneficial predators around, the ones if you continue to provide them the right habitat, they’ll manage pests, maintenance in the garden

very stoked to find vermaculture composting bin, worm bin, transmuting food scraps from kitchen, any organic matter, best when kept moist, daily use of kitchen green waste, not so much dairy or meat for worm bin, avoiding garlics and onions and relatives, avoid citrus, mostly green waste, fruits and veggies they love to propogate to their hearts content, you can harvest the leachate, harvest, next level you can run filtered/dechlorinated water through the worm bin and create own diluted compost tea from that, very prized product for a number of uses, creating a smoothie for soil organisms, been a huge part of my life for many years now, one’s here very exciting, can hit the ground running so to speak

getting to know some of the neighborhood dogs, becoming friendly with the dogs of the land, never been surrounded by as many coyotes, seeing them move around even during the day, hear coyotes going nuts even in the afternoon

this is where the prana really comes from

 

Basic Preparedness and the Prepping Pyramid TPP246

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Basic Preparedness Prepping Pyramid
The term prepping refers to the process by which you incrementally increase your level of preparedness for emergency/disaster on a continuum from short-term self-reliance to long-term self-sufficiency.

The term preps can be defined as tangible items or systems that you acquire or build and use in prepping. While some people may include intangible things such as weapons training, drills, skill development, etc. in their definition of preps, for the purpose of this piece, the focus is on physical items.

The stereotype that survivalists live alone in underground bunkers in the middle of nowhere is rarely accurate. The media sensationalizes the extreme cases, but the reality is that a holistic family oriented survival plan involves several locations and several different scales. I’ve organized the list below in order of scale from the smallest to the largest caches of preps in a pyramidal model to represent overlapping zones.

1. Body

2. Bug Out Bag

3. Bug Out Vehicle

4. Workplace/School

5: Home

6: Bug Out Location

Body

Preppers promote taking some level of responsibility for your safety and security by not only developing self-defense, first-aid, and other survival skill sets, but by carrying implements, tools, devices, and supplies on your person at all times. Having preps on your person isn’t only so you can help yourself and your family, it’s also so you can help others in need.

What you carry on your person is often referred to as “Every Day Carry” or “EDC”. On this scale your preps will include an array of smaller survival gear items. The number of items you carry will be determined by the amount of pockets, belt accessories, carabiners, etc. you’re comfortable with. Fashion and function can be hard to reconcile, but it’s worth an attempt. Many people walk through the world without care or thought of the potential for anything to go wrong. The expectation that something bad will “never happen to me” is a symptom of what is clinically called “normalcy bias”. This is a psychological tendency to avoid considering and logically preparing for disruptions in modern business-as-usual life.

Unfortunately if we encounter bad guys on the street, chances are police won’t arrive on the scene until the incident is over. If we’re in a disaster situation, emergency medical responders may not be able to get to us in the time it takes to die or become seriously ill from preventable causes such as bleeding, dehydration, infection, etc.

Items often carried every day by preppers may include some of the following:

cutting tools, fire making tools, multi-tool, parachute cord, led light, compass, first-aid items (band-aids, alcohol pads), whistle, water purification tablets, emergency medical info card, list of emergency contacts, bandana, cell phone with additional charged battery, flash drive, notepad, writing utensil, “forever” postage stamps, prepaid phone card, cash, checks, herbal energy pills, p38 can opener, water bottle, pepper spray, misc. legal self-defense implements…

Bug Out Bag (BOB)

The “Bug out Bag”, a.k.a. “BOB”, is the survivalist slang for what is more officially known as a 72-hour emergency kit. However, the critical distinction is that a BOB must be in the form of a back-pack that can allow you to move on foot, hands-free.

On this scale of preps, you may have some of the same items that you’d have for EDC, however in greater lengths, quantities, container sizes, etc. as you’ll have the main column of the bag, plus many extra pockets, compartments, straps, clips, etc.

Here’s a list of some of the items often found in or attached to BOBs.

More fire making tools, more parachute cord, flashlight, batteries, candles, first aid kit, extra medications, hand crank/solar emergency weather radio, signal mirror, toilet paper, tweezers, toothbrush, misc. toiletries, sun block, bug spray, warm clothes (kept dry in a large zip lock bag), rain gear, gloves, hat, sun glasses, mess kit (eating dish/utensils), lightweight pot for cooking/boiling water, salt/spices, three days worth of dry food, hooks/sinkers, wild edible plant identification books, bigger water bottle, water filtration devices, 5 gallon collapsible water jug, small bottle of bleach, folding shovel, wire saw, sewing needles and floss, pen or pencil wrapped with duct tape, pen or pencil wrapped with fishing line, full size notebook, envelopes, plastic bags, garbage bags, survival manuals, entertainment devices such as books or games, documentation package (including emergency contacts, local emergency service provider phone numbers, evacuation procedures/plans/packing checklists, multiple evacuation routes, encrypted bank account, social security, etc. numbers, list of family medications/medical conditions, etc.), maps, sleeping bag, space blanket, tube tent, therma-rest pad, tarp, poly sheeting, legal self-defense tools carried in accordance with local law…

It helps to separate and categorize your items into zip-lock bags and distribute the bags into to different pockets and compartments for easy access. The bags also help keep your gear dry.

This sounds like a lot of stuff but if properly organized and compacted a lot of it can comfortably fit in/on a large camping pack. Depending on the nature of the situation, you may want to drop a lot of weight so you can cover more ground on foot. In Saving Private Ryan, the scene in which the translator joins the unit shows how a combat-inexperienced soldier tries to pack everything he was issued in his bag for the mission, and is made to leave most of it behind by his fellow soldiers. This is a useful bit of insight demonstrating that “the more you know the less you need,” and that you have to be realistic about your ability to haul more than the bare minimum.

Your normal commuting vehicle (which may or not be your “Bug Out Vehicle”) should always contain your BOB so that it will be accessible wherever you drive. Storing it in the trunk also ensures you’ll never forget it at home, and when you need to lighten the load and take a few items out, you can lock them in your trunk or locked box in a flatbed truck.

Of course if you’re riding a bus, if you are a passenger in someone else’s vehicle, or riding a bike, it won’t be feasible to bring your BOB with you. In those situations you’ll be relying on EDC, or a smaller backpack with a selection of items from your BOB depending on the situation. For example, if you’re hiking, you’d want to grab a selection of items from your BOB and put them in your day pack.

Most importantly, every member of your family should have a BOB, and every BOB should contain the same version of the documentation package. In an emergency you’ll then be able to co-ordinate your response based on documented protocols that everyone has the current printed version of.

Bug Out Vehicle (BOV)

Your “Bug Out Vehicle” may be a huge 4-wheel-drive monster or a compact car. Older diesel trucks are preferable as they have less electrical components that can fail, and they can be converted to run on veggie oil. Whatever you prefer and have the means to acquire can serve as your BOV, though traditionally it’s a truck or SUV. All that’s required is that it be stocked with extra preps and be equipped with accessories that will optimize performance and provide redundancies in evacuation scenarios.

Besides simply scaling up some of your preps (such as a 5 gallon bucket of dry food that preferably doesn’t require cooking, one or more gallons of water, a larger first aid kit, etc. the following are some preps specific to the BOV:

Flares, basic tools, spare parts (headlights, belts, bulbs, etc.), quarts of oil, extra fluids, map books, solar power system, power inverter, spare tire, snow chains, jack, blankets, tent, boots, entrenching tool, books, gas can (keep empty unless it can be stored safely and securely), more legal self-defense tools transported in accordance with local law, any other large utility/emergency items that don’t fit in or are not appropriate for your BOB.

Every family vehicle should be to some degree prepped to function as a BOV, even if there’s one larger vehicle that’s designated as the main BOV.

Workplace/School

This refers to the place where most of your time is spent outside of the home, wherever that may be. The goal would be to get your colleagues or co-workers on-board with prepping so that they collaborate and pool resources to ensure that there are preps on-site. Whether in a basement, storage closet, or under your desk you should try to get some amount of food/water/medical supply storage set up. If nothing else, try to convince whoever’s in charge to at least have emergency kits on-site that are sized appropriately for the number of people in your office, dorm, etc.

Most likely if done right, you can store a lot without it being a nuisance and have some sense of security knowing that if you end up stuck there, you won’t die of dehydration, starvation, or mild injuries.

Home

Without being too extreme, you should see your home as your fort. It’s the place where you let down your guard at night and go to sleep. It’s the place where you raise your family, or are being raised by your family. It’s where you should feel the most safe and secure, and where you should have the most control of your survival. Again, many of the prep items you’ll want at home have been listed above, but here are some preps that are unique to the home:

large water tanks, rain water catchment systems, months to years worth of long term food storage in the form of canned foods and dry foods including your favorite grains, legumes, seeds (for eating, sprouting, and planting), nuts, spices, dried herbs, dried fruits, etc. in 5 gallon bucket/mylar bag/oxygen absorber kits on a rotation system so you “eat what you store and store what you eat”, sprout jars, green house, permaculture garden (food forest if possible), irrigation systems, herbal medicine cabinet, organic recycling center (i.e. compost, vermiculture, humanure, etc), guard dog(s), livestock, food dehydrator, canning equipment, solar power system with battery bank, more legal weapons, low and high tech security systems, toiletry reserves, fuel reserves (gas, firewood, etc.), generator, full camping gear for the whole family, bigger/more specialized hand/power tools, fire-proof lock box for important documents, back up computers, back up external hard drives, lots of useful practical/instructional books and videos, cash, precious metal reserves, large self-assembled or store bought emergency kits…

Bug Out Location (BOL)

The “Bug Out Location” a.k.a. “BOL” or “survival retreat” is your ultimate destination in the case of forced or voluntary evacuation from your normal place of residence. Ideally it would be far out of the urban and suburban zones though not necessarily totally isolated. For those who can afford the luxury, the BOL is a piece of rural land that you own and have put some kind of legal temporary or permanent inhabitable structure on (trailer, teepee, yurt, cabin, house, natural building, etc.)

If you don’t have the luxury to buy land, you may discover that you have relatives living in the countryside, or friends living on farms with whom you can pre-arrange to stay with under an agreement that you’ll pay rent, or do work-trade.

No matter how you gain access to a temporary or permanent living situation for you and your family, what matters is that you have a plan in place. The plan should ensure that you have a main BOL and several fall back locations if the main location is inaccessible, and have multiple routes to each location. It’s also important to work out a system whereby if members of your family or group reach a certain rally point, there’s a predefined way to “post” inconspicuous communications about who’s reached that point, when they got there, and where they left to.

In terms of the scales of preps, the main BOL will often have the largest stockpile of preps when you factor in the ability to hide or bury large caches and the ability to establish permaculture edible forest gardens, ponds, springs, streams, swales, wood lots, wind power, solar power, micro-hydro systems, etc. Ultimately the ideal BOL would be a rural homestead. However the extent to which it’s developed by the time you need it will be determined by how much time, energy, and money you can afford to put into it while you’re not actually living on it.

In rural zones, the land itself is a prep. The more you do to prep the landscape, the more yields you’ll produce that are regenerative. In an apartment or small urban lot, you’re usually not able to access and produce renewable resources on the scale needed to be self-sufficient. Urban preps are generally only going to serve for a finite period of self-reliance until the supplies run out. It’s worth noting that in both urban and rural contexts, self-sufficiency is rarely achieved on a household level, rather it requires the functional interdependence of a small community.

Ideally if you’re “bugging out” to your BOL, you’ll have taken as many of the preps from the smaller levels of the pyramid with you so you’ll be combining preps as well.

The BOL is typically seen as the end point of the game where if you’re successful at making it there alive you’ll be relatively safe, secure, and supplied. However, most preppers acknowledge to varying degrees and extremes that to be prepared while being surrounded by the ill-prepared is a recipe for disaster. Generally, the higher the population density, the greater the risk of being jumped, besieged, or raided. So the more remote you are, the less likely the ill-prepared will be to expend the energy to find and take your provisions. There’s a trade-off though which is that the further you are from at least a small town, the fewer services are available. Also, without neighbors (who you may need to rely on to save your life someday or even just barter with) your survivability and quality of life might be diminished.

Re-Establishing a Culture of Preparedness

No individual, family, or group is an island. Ideally the largest step of the prepping pyramid would be a culture of preparedness wherein redundancy is built into every system that the population relies on for basic survival. It’s not utopian, a hundred years ago it was common sense. According to prominent prepper Stewart Rhodes in episode 602 of The Survival Podcast, “during the Cold War, this country had enough grain to feed all of its people for three years in the event of a nuclear winter, now they have enough to feed all of us half a loaf of bread.”
Our ancient and recent ancestors had the wisdom to live by the ways of the ant, not the grasshopper (see Aesop’s fable “The Ant and the Grasshopper”). In the modern survivalist movement, it’s accepted that winter is coming again as it has in the past and will in the future.
Apocalypse would be an easy way out, but in all likelihood, the world will continue to cycle with nature, not end. We’ll have to choose to be prepared. Moreover, it doesn’t take TEOTWAWKI (“the end of the world as we know it”) for any individual or family to experience an acute localized disaster. Be it a job loss, an injury, death of a loved one, etc, when the s**t his hit your fan, it’s your preps that will carry you through in a state of relative comfort and help buffer desperation.

Jack Spirko of The Survival Podcast has provided numerous planning and strategy tools such as the “threat probability matrix” and notion of “disaster commonality” (see episode 166) to help people identify the threats that are most likely to occur in their personal lives, location, climate, etc. and understand that in many ways the fundamental preps and planning needed to survive anything from the “mundane to the insane” are the generally the same.
It’s important while prepping to be creative and make it fun-based not fear-based. Thanks to the modern survival movement there’s a fail-safe principle built-in which essentially states that whatever you do to be prepared for disaster should improve your quality of life whether or not s**t hits the fan! The best example is growing some portion of your own food.

Just avoid panic buying. As with Permaculture the best solutions are small and slow. Continually incrementally add to your preps when grocery items go on sale, when you get extra cash, when you can score something on Craigslist, when there’s a yard sale, etc. Start small, make it fun, get into the groove and you’ll enjoy having a more sensible lifestyle that actually empowers you to be an evermore safe, secure, confident, and dutiful cosmic citizen, community member, and family member.

The Egalitarian Future of Spiritual Leadership with Vanessa Soulxo TPP245

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Vanessa Soulxo Pic 02

In this episode I’m joined again by Vanessa Soulxo for a discussion on the shift from hierarchical to egalitarian spiritual leadership

About Vanessa:

Vanessa LeMaistre is a Spiritual & Soul Empowerment Activist. Her platform provides a self-improvement/positive lifestyle brand to customers who are looking to feel whole within themselves. Vanessa has overcome a lot and believes if she could, so can you. Vanessa is very inspirational and she aspires to inspire. She provides inspirational youtube videos on her youtube channel: www.youtube.com/uareart and on her social media platforms she promotes exerts and positive affirmations from her upcoming book. You can find her on social media platforms such as Ig, snapchat, Twitter under the name: vanessasoulxo which is also the name of her website domain. Her Facebook is her first and last name: Vanessa LeMaistre

Please visit her website at:
vanessasoulxo.com/

My Non Verbatim Notes:

VS: training in Colorado, graduating in may with resilient leadership program, focus on sustainability and social justice, great program, what are we gonna do with this kind of knowledge

interesting experience, expanded so much in ways, politically, climate crisis

download this morning: earth tells us how strong it is by showing us

we can damage, be so cruel with capitalistic ways, but mother earth is resilient

shamanic training, working with plant medicines

tarot reading, spiritual and intellectual, recommended naropa, eastern/western philosophy, perfect for someone who’s a seeker, however a lot of charlatans there

some professors spiritual leaders, major issues with…middle aged white men still stuck in the patriarchy

no longer this hierarchy, all about me, bow down to me and I take all the power, future of leadership, switch from hierarchy to more egalitarian, we’re all equal

taking away guru, bow down to me paradox, scarcity mindset

I have to be willing to accept when I need people who are more powerful than me

age of aquarius, take away old paradox of capitalism and hierarchy, one person on top

abusive treatment from spiritual leaders

Naropa’s in Boulder, spiritual hub, growing business, spiritual businesses, people are capitalizing on it, most of the people are fake, heartbreaking to see cultish behavior, the more followers a person has, the more manipulation

people called out yoga teacher on her healing that needs to happen, she went bezerk

if you’re on a leadership platform of any level, you should be ok to be called out, no body’s perfect

if you say I’m a healer, I’ve healed everything you’re a liar

witness middle aged white professors, spiritual leaders

ego thing

TP: professors should get paid on a curve, based on votes from students to balance the power

VS: students, pests, total followers, have no sense of self

spiritual jabs

you don’t throw jabs at students

you’re not coming from a kind place, so shut the fuck up

TP: can draw upon traditions of sadistic initiation and humiliation

the fuckery of Tibetan Buddhist, secret sex cult, academic analysis of distortion of men being in monastic chastity, creepy manipulators, collusion, hexes, spells, death threats

VS: last thing you want to do is be manipulating people by throwing spiritual jabs, because those cuts hurt deeper

plant ceremony circles, cultish mentality, manipulation, shaming everyone that comes there

are you actually doing the work, shows you really have so much work you need to tend to

forget you

TP: need to be roasted more often not less often if you have power

enlightenment, be kind and not criticize everything

Deepak Chopra, non-judgment

mind hacks, positive/constructive inner voice redirection

VS:

shambala center scandals, male dominated institutionalized sectors, zen buddhism, so male dominated

sexual tension is real, things are going down in an ill way

really sad

woman of color, not many at all in the spiritual industry in America, so much of what has arose has come from indigenous cultures even African indigenous cultures, raped, stolen

TP: sages, saints, prophets, messiahs, too much to ask of pantheon of god men, why isn’t there an exalted female voice representing the divine goddess or earthly embodiment

collective messiah, sisterhood witch coven, actually has each other’s backs, hard to find, not about most money, biggest boobs, clearest skin, politics are distorted, only thing I’ve seen work is magic mushrooms, tone down that ego

collective of empowered righteous medicine women, collectively channel a bigger voice

VS: we’re not sustainable, that paradigm is no longer sustainable, not balanced

Egypt: ancients believed when a man achieved a high amount of knowledge spiritual and power, he would be allowed to wear a long haired wig to symbolize that he had reached a certain level of that equal to a woman

behind every successful man is a strong woman holding him up, keeping him balanced, bringing him peace

recognizing each other’s strengths

look at all these buildings, not sustainable

machismo, misogynistic mentality, disrespecting yourself

you’re describing the woman in the house that I’m initiating into

not getting vibe of competitive, ego, money power, real sisterhood, shocked right now

TP: not an economy of male attention, have each other’s back, like links of armor together

VS: there was one guy that they where gonna bring in to initiate into our house, mother of the house started asking for dreams, said she had dreams that were very revealing about him, how he was betraying and backstabbing, the way the sister’s joined it was unbelievable, if anyone messes with any one of us, we’re all gonna have each others back

TP: dream of goddess temple , powerful men, bow down to fem domme’s

VS: that’s what we need, systems are so broken, education, judicial, health, how can we bring in more divine masculine, and divine feminine, lacking, how can we merge spirituality with these systems for greater collective awaking

TP: divine feminine is coming through no matter what, divine masculine, it’s gonna be a struggle, to topple the demonic overlords, if you could push a button to dissolve homophobia, divine masculine would fill hearts of all men on earth

men want to play with witches, gotta give each other coconut oil massage first

VS: amazing people, transgendered, no how to bring in both, balanced, gurus, two spirited, amazing human beings, kind, empathetic, understanding things differently

TP: tantric alchemy, triangle, masculine feminine bottom corners, ascension of kundalini, meet and become one at the top

VS: back in 2017, working at crystal shop in venice, beach, santoria woman comes in calls me out, you’re haitian, already reclaimed you, just haven’t initiated you yet, I was doing my own spiritual thing, predicted I would be working with plants

when joined program, friend invited me to a cacao ceremony, I’m thinking I’m gonna do chocolate, heard it opens heart, makes more loving, there’s a fire pit, middle of night, circle, passing around green powered, why is this green, whatever, dark paste to put on gums, must be cacao, intense vulnerable experience, beautiful

wasn’t cacao, that was coca, in concentrate form, door way led into whole path with medicines, microdosing with magic mushrooms, ayahuasca, universe is smart, had I known it was coca I would have been like no I’m not doing that

TP: decriminalization nature movement, entheogens decriminalized in Santa Cruz,

dance with haitian priestesses, throughout development, haitian shamanic revolution, invocation, deities, ancestors, spiritual revolution, not marx, not communism, party line, indigenous, totally

VS: all this stigma about what voodoo is, that is how they won the revolution in 1804 no other black free nation until 150 years later, cecile fatiman, pig ceremony started the revolution, shamanism, paganism, trance like states

what led me to this path, haitian priestess voodoo initiation, getting into plants, connecting with ayahuasca, beautiful experience for shipibo, saw me, called to that medicine, wanna find who I’m gonna learn from

got back from jungle, grandmother, what are you doing in the jungle taking medicine, pagaism, witchcraft, when that happens, when you’re called its not you, you’d not choose voodoo, voodoo chooses you

TP: you do you and voo doo you

VS: lineage is calling you, ancestors wanted you to leave California to get you some where calm and quiet so they could start tapping in, all these dots started connecting

researching portals, deities, very powerful, not spirits you want to take lightly, have a lot of sincerity, they can get upset if you disrespect them, I’m learning a lot

mother of house did a reading, can’t just pay to be a high priestess, spirit needs to confirm initiation, its not for everybody

born into hatiain lineage

grew up with mallato family, strong french presence, history of haiti, didn’t allow voodoo, combinations of saints because they were not allowed, raised catholic, all about white is right, american dream

had to come to truth with myself, with my soul, intense level I’m being called

TP: mixed healing arts

VS: I’m a make up of 3 races, I feel equally connected to plant medicines, and bringing in hatiain high priestess patheon, making it my own modernized way, very empowering, I go march 10th, I’ll be back the 24th, that initian is pretty intense, you’re told mysteries, I don’t even know what I’m getting into

Bufo toad, 5me0 dmt, more powerful than ayahuasca, really excited

TP: you’re feeding your fire with the antics of the patriarchs, so shallow, so obvious, paradox of ego, just the desire to destroy ego is a from the ego

VS: constantly check myself, not doing it primarily for me, doing it for others service, finding that balance, last thing I want to do is be a slave to my calling, constant checking am I happy, will this make me happy, wanna be happy getting up everyday doing the work, take some of the me out

TP be frugal, live simply, if majority of net worth being directed towards healing, transformation, liberation, you’ll continually get resupplied, just like a garden

VS: plan, determined to have a church, self love center, don’t want a podium, just sit down in a circle and just talk, everyone welcome, atheists are welcomed, that’s how I’d bring people to god, hopefully empower each other, getting closer to our truth

balance of old traditions but being radical, finding balance

really called to go to l.a. really scary, demonic forces there

TP: align with nature you’ll be blessed, beach, ocean, hiking trails, protected wild areas, wild coast line

things about la that do drive me crazy and make me sick

I been here chasing dreams, having enough come true I’m ready to chill more, enjoy fruits of labor put in over the course of almost 20 years, done really well, almost like vegas too, if you don’t have your shit together it can tear you apart and drag you down

VS: living in heart of hollywood, studio apartment so peaceful, 3 am , yelling, toxcity, energy so intense, I have to be shielded on another level spiritually to go in and do the work

TP: have a yard, ecosystem you can draw from, rather than be stacked in an apartment, co-op houses, yard spaces garden sanctuary, capture rain water, transforming homes, eco sanctuaries

where ever you go don’t lose that connection to the soil, have more freedom, hang clothes out to dry, pets will have a better life

you can be safe from crime, but not safe from neighbors who don’t want you to grow food in your front yard

east of l.a. river, parties all night long, soulful dance music

pacific palisades, between malibu and santa monica, coast line, trails, less population, still half hour away from sunset strip, if you want to play that game, it’s a gamble, tango with the matrix

VS: start small, hopefully get congregation to build it up, lets expand, love to have a store too, do workshops, give people opportunities to shine there light, on different things, diversity, inclusivity, reinvent our current

 

Escaping the Matrix and Living the Dream of Wild Romance TPP244

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In this episode I share an important announcement that I’ve fallen in love with a land project and will be living the dream of romance with the wilderness

My Non-Verbatim Show Notes:

working on a land project

from now on daily reports, maybe stack them up if their short

my state of nature to be in the hills, the forest, the trees

most actualized life chapters, where I’ve been blessed to serve gaia and some sort of wealthier than me matriarch of a peace of property

there’s often been a romance novel cover mystique going on

i’ve been an ecological gigolo to some extent, luckily not the situation now

hasn’t always worked out the best

now clearing up karma, and maturing, and growing up stuff, more aware of red flags

in twilight of 30s feeling, this is the next best chapter

peaks and valleys of life

peaks when out there, feeling free, devotion to nature spirits, deep listening to the will of the ancestors of the land

i’m a paint brush for the land, soil repair, soil building, interdimensional source of healing, being a bandage on the land

in harmony with the human needs, the land needs, the soil needs,

social permaculture design, dabbling feng shui,

i really feel the energy flows when there is order brought to the disorder

the disorder of junk and clutter and generations agricultural paradigm shifting, so many different hazards, and decaying and rotting materials, really becomes a meditation to keep the surface of your skin intact, when you’re harvesting scavenged materials, when you’re gathering and macguevering, and a-teaming up a design

beautiful multidimensional, fully immersive art project, those are the peaks

the valleys are the times when i have to do the daily grind in the city, which i have been doing, almost full time, mostly urban permaculture installation work with various crews, in that sense morale is always dragging, its great to have solidarity, working for clients, seeing the transformation, flipping lawns to gardens

nudging the paradigm slowly, being the flagship project in suburban neighborhoods, it’s fulfilling and rewarding, more than most jobs

been blessed to work with super flexible and gracious teams,

understanding of LA traffic and respect for need for autonomy

crews have been so grateful for my help, and flexible with my schedule

installing drought tolerant native plants, sculpting land for rainwater catchment, all different techniques applied to make a site more sustainable, but at the end of the day, we’re still installing pvc, still using toxic glue that kills your brain, there’s this juxtaposition of the conventional paradigm, and the ancient futuristic permaculture paradigm, i strongly dislike to be such a purist radical, but i want to be doing this work and this play and this art in a more taoistic sense, not treading so hard on the earth, not just blazing in, what’s expected as contractors,

the hustle, the life of the contractor, cheep beer, nightly ejaculation, coffee every day, junk food

i want to be the barefoot gardener, who listens to the plant, doesn’t use any toxic material, re-use materials on site, an artisan approach

it’s a huge luxury because few people want to pay for workers to work slow

being a worker, whether your boss is an angel or demon, i’ve been very blessed

but it kills my soul not to be working for myself

at the end of every day you’re back to square one, making very little progress on your own property or your own garden

it’s draining and demoralizing

i’ve been very frugal, so that i can save and hodl crypto and to the hodl plus strategy from the bitcoin podcast, you’re not spending frivolously on anything, cutting expenses to the bone so you don’t have to sell off, do good by your future self, let your days be gifts to your future self, dollar cost averaging, stacking sats, always adding to your stash of whatever fraction of bitcoin you squirrel away for the future

assuming the overall uptrend is going to continue

on and off about 15 years I go from working for other people on their sites on their projects, just doing a daily grind to having way more spacious freedom to put all of my effort into a single site which feeds me, which shelters me if possible, which serves the intent and mission of the owner of the property, where you feel like a samurai gardener, I’m a landless peasant in the grand scheme of things, but when I can break free of daily grind of traffice, and commuting, but be steeped in an ecosystem where one day builds on the next

you develop this map of all the materials, where the plants are where the water flows, what the neighbors are like, what local sources of seeds and compost, and it becomes a grand theater

as adventurous as any video game ever was, the holistic fulfillment of it, moments where things really snap together is way beyond a video game, it’s not virtual reality its reality

you get to have heart opening, experience

every time you bump into a new plant or critter you hadn’t noticed and you get to study their beauty and no one tells you your slacking off cuz your vibing with a creature

tarot card reading, spoiled to take a step away from steady pay check, leap of faith, but knowing it’s the right thing for my soul to be focusing doing what I know best

this time under far better sexual political dynamics

its been a huge problem in the past

what do you call the drummer who breaks up with his girl friend, homeless

build karma, not destroy it

a lot to appreciate, significance of transition

it’s the bug out location, I’ve been living in bug out mode

prepper’s have a language of bug out bags, bugging in, bugging out

dug in for another round of zombie apocalypse training camp survival paradise, lots of fun

forest garden of eden music video as archival footage/portfolio/demo reel of my permaculture projects

shows the timeline of my evolution, urban, suburban, rural projects

feel like it’s the crown chakra of a career, feeling like I won the game, of course it’s just another level and the game continues, but you finish a level and you’re on to a new one, really in resonance with life energy

not as much of a horny whipper snapper

dakini said you go from testosterone arousal to oxytocin arousal cycle

I’d rather just do me tonight, I don’t feel pressure to go out and get laid somewhere, never successful at hooking up, never had a one-night stand

all that is to say, I’m still not interested in settling down with a woman, but settling down with the land, without feeling like a loser if not getting laid every night

many years of involuntary celibacy, I had no game
some blame I could point at those who traumatized me, but have to point at myself for not manning up sooner

dakini says you’re shifting your sex drive towards oxytocin

20 years of holding up a “Free Boners” sign, eventually had to take it down because it’s all gone, if you didn’t jump on it, it’s gone

a woman’s got to put in effort to turn me, because it’s not like it’s my first rodeo and I’m going to have a panic attack, because “it’s actually happening”

thinking about coming of age, a woman’s body is an enigma during puberty, a woman’s body is like a ufo, it’s that alien

then it’s a balance after you’ve been deflowered, do you get spoiled, do you take it for granted, do you lose that awe, and honor and respect?

Twins movie, cynical line about how virgins respect women, then lose it once they become players

hitting the nerve of the tragic sense, in the words of Garth Algar, I’m no longer a stranger to the ways of the woman or something to take effect, how long do you retain that sense of awe and wonder

I feel like it’s been painful, but a healthy balance to go through this life mostly celibate

I told myself the other day, no matter what women did, how long it lasted, how it ended, at least you know that you told the women you love that you love them, that’s all you can do

there’s always a list of people you’re chasing, and people who’re chasing you, people you’re running from and running to

Kenneth Ray Stubs on the podcast said to the effect of, when I was younger I was too horny to meditate, it took until I was older to be able to do the advanced spiritual practices

Growing up I didn’t catch the jokes about men’s waning virility, now they sting when I watch movies where those jokes were made

the first lost erection feeling like a transmission drops, WTF!

Was making love, pretty stoned, it could have been that, but at the age of 35, what’s wrong with me, I’m not feeling completely mind blown, lost the youthful sense of 100% immersion in electrifying stimulation, maybe we lost the spark, but it was unexpected because my lingam had never been uncooperative before, never been asexual but had to imagine that’s the feeling of dissociation from the actualized

then there’s the coolidge effect, men become sugar daddies to younger women, older women become cougars to younger men

I didn’t intend for this podcast to go this direction but it’s on point because, you can’t leave the city if you’re still chasing women, because you can’t see beyond the weekend

the need to get off, the compulsion to ejaculate, the compulsion to not be alone, to not be single, the horrific discontent to not be in a relationship

dating apps hamster wheel, slot machine crank of dating apps, mining old friends to see if their single yet, all consuming, ego self esteem, hormones

luckily I never was too spoiled, definitely still women who make the “shwing effect” happen like clock work, so it’s not game over, but it’s an interesting limbo state of I’m still extremely passionate I still feel a lot of eros, but it’s less hormonal and it’s more of an oxytocin mode, so the way women want to feel emotional attention that’s what turns me on, often that’s the gripe and why tantric men are in demand because the should be able to speak to the heart

in early days, of man I’ve got blueballs, or I’m going to prematurely ejaculate, a man is trying to calm himself down and meet the shakti, shakti can be raging like a stormy sea, but you gotta be the storm that creates the waves of shakti, bring the energy in

now I feel more like a woman
not interested in having drunk unsafe hook up sex, jealous that I missed out, but not interested any more

turned down a lot of sex in the last few years, we need to spend time designing a designer way to share energy and practice sex magic

not all women have the patience for developing a deep practice

now with a bit of financial security, ability to grow and compound financial permaculture and financial continence

deeper practice in resonance with the tao

in order to garden safely, or safer, not getting scratched, so many hazards, staff infection, getting sliced up, bundling raw garlic into gauze, blazing through, same energy approaching women

it’s a beautiful sweet spot to have some savings, make a property profitable and pay for itself, do sweat equity, multiple value and revenue streams, things start as a trickle, like a spring, a tiny drip, you can do a bit of earth works and store more water

financial healing, establishment of wealth and a slower more mature, more mid lifey kind of energy and approach

I think this is gonna be a good decade, a new way of inhabiting the body, more taoist and slower paced way of working on a land project

do the best permaculture, some people say don’t do anything on the land until a year of pure observation, just meditate and watch patterns

they say 99 hours of design and 1 hour work, verse 1 hour of design and 99 hours of work

the yield you get from more observation, you have a deeper more expansive diverse way to get the most elegant solution

kick down fertility system, one animal’s output because input for another

never before have I had such grace walking a piece of land where I can just move very slowly
in emergencies and disasters you do have to hustle, but if you don’t rush and you don’t run, and you’re not hustling daily, you really have a million times less chance of injury, and breaking things, tripping, hurting someone else, spilling something, over pouring something, every clumsy cartoon thing, it always comes from that financial knife at your back,just digging into you, I need to hustle to finish this job because it’s by the job and not hourly, or I need to be busy because everyone else is busy

its not healthy, it’s not sane, it’s super dangerous

chronic backpain, usually manageable, use some yogic practice

this will be the year of me developing an “on the mat” asana practice, up to now I’d rather being doing combative dancing

haven’t felt called after many exposures to different teachers of “yoga”, but I probably will be doing it more, probably realizing I have been missing out, time to get on the mat to get the benefits of that practice, looking forward to that, all comes back to feeling less rushed, less of a hustle

entrepreneur pushes boulder uphill, the wage earner is running on a hamster wheel

you push the boulder uphill moonlighting, and it slides back down while you’re on the day job hamster wheel, not many get the boulder cruising down the other side of the slope

most people lose their ass for 5 years before they turn a profit, you should be prepared

a lot of gratitude I have for this opportunity, hopefully not having to rush and hustle and speed around and be dangerous, I think I can swing it so there’s a nice balance of going back to work in the city and top off supplies and accounts until I get to a point where there’s a functioning business model producing revenue

glad to document via the podcast, not going to start out with video teaching, not trying to keep up with the Jones’ on social media

after a humble paleo meal of canned and jarred food at the low end of the health food market, no grain, no dairy, no added sugar, I can do a podcast update

hope not to offend vegans, vegetarians, it didn’t work for me, I still have hell to pay, I feel better, body works better, long standing conditions that are not pleasant that most people have, allergies, weak immune system I feel like I’ve strengthened, I feel better now than I did in my 20s

become a bit of a home brewer, its not a vice but it’s a moderate pleasure that I indulge in, holistic debauchery

luckly weened off cheap beer, never really like being drunk, really didn’t like being hung over

falling in love with home brew fermentation, participating with a biological process, gardening the process, it’s a beautiful thing, it’s a blessing, helps to get through some of the lonelier nights, and helps me be intoxicated with the love of the goddess

incel in the flesh, but blessed in the astral realms with dakinis, the romance of the goddess

nice to have some party favors and ritual elements that help to open the 3rd eye and the heart, losing the inhibitions towards the divine feminine sex goddesses, enjoying a more private more solo practice, not feeling the sharp pain of missing the party on friday night, missing the opportunity to socialize and make an appearance, collecting phone numbers

I don’t think there’s a way to avoid it, for me and most men, you’re gonna feel pressure, I dont’ know about next generation, porn and video games causing apathy towards sex, but anyway no way for me to talk about gardening with out talking about sex goddesses, and porno, etc.

intention to refine the masculine energy to put it to work on something constructive

I often think of the feeling, of being on my knees, putting care planting a nursery potted plant, I’m creating its home in the soil, doing this yoni puja this breast massage, that’s the Mr Miyagi, wax on wax off, that’s the permaculture tantra, what I would be teaching my teenage son if I had one. I have a duty of care for people coming of age who discover my work.

I gotta think responsibly about the Deenagers

Gardening as a pathway of restorative justice for sex offenders, a way to train sacred sexuality

Better to be a warrior in a garden, than a gardener in a war

a lot of sex education to be gleaned form a permaculture training experience

the 9th form of capital, sexual permaculture thesis, designing for the energy sector of sexuality in a way that is post-monogamy, post-theological control, post-shame, post-guilt, post-patriarchy, getting to more of a sex at dawn paradigm

always made a joke of about a nude permaculture design course

doesn’t have to be a silly joke, there’s nude yoga

there is a place where this hippy, free love, LSD 60s sexual revolution, now there’s more deeper connection to shamanism, tantra, and permaculture

more intelligence with ecology

people are opening up with relationships, more influenced by tantric practices, despite distractions of social media, video games, and porn, there’s quite a refinement of the seed forms of the 60s

on that trajectory of what was started with my parents, they weren’t the wildest party animals but they were on point with back-to-land projects/training centers

things are evolving

it makes me think about 2012, I was a 2012-er, hard not to be after all the Terrence McKenna, that was a huge pressurized urgent, move fast and break things, that can be very dangerous in a horticultural landscape, we got through it,

I tried to accomplish a lot, I developed the ability to lead by example, I don’t feel the need to tell other people how to live

I think I can be content with this oxytocin based sex drive, with really delicate and deliberate romantic cadence

integrating gardening, heart gardening

I’ve tried to involve lovers in the process, some have been on board, others not

Always tried to seduce women into the garden space, to have them fall in love with the plants and the soil and become as clinging and needed to the land as much as my heart or cock

May only the greenest and purest of hearts and souls and minds be a part of my dark green magic from here on out

I have the blessing to play my cards right and put in my best efforts

Try to live by the 4 agreements, hopefully the problems to have will get better and better and the solutions will as well

learning to study patterns, ala the Permaculture Designer’s Manual

spend a night on youtube watching permaculture videos

Bill Mollison and David Holmgren, developed the design science, it’s like a bundled package of ecology and anthrology, engineering, earth sciences, economics, an amazing array of interdisciplinary approach to sustainable human settlement design, zero waste, there’s a lot to unpack

the simple way I can put it, whereas Ted K. went into the words and became coercive, Bill M decided to apply the wisdom of the forest and fight back with positivism, designer ecologies that function as elegant and efficient as a forest

it’s movement, sometimes think it’s elitist, its not religious, it’s not ideological, it’s scientific

if you’re gonna be an architect you’re going to have to learn all kinds of different roles and laws of how things work

we’re building civilizations with toxic materials, slaves, requires wars, and all kind of hell, we could be building our settlements according to design principles of nature

making sure there’s zero waste

you could live in a designer forest where everything that you placed in that designer forest is useful or beneficial, food, fiber, fodder

hydrates, seeds, extends itself

use the template of the wild forest, in that template you plug in edibles, medicinals, benefit that plants, animals, the soil, agro forestry is another term

not square gardens of patches and rows, not fields, not orchards, not monocrop

that’s the least efficient, most lethal and toxic

Just like Bruce Lee, Jeet Kune Do, bringing stuff together

There’s no other game in town, it’s an open source technology, not controlled by a central entity, it’s a decentralized movement by design

saw a beautiful luscious wild RABBIT, seemed quite healthy, I got a sense from seeing it that it was very happy and healthy

cackling of COYOTES in all directions

SQUIRRELS scurrying about

a shiny LADY BUG, unmistakable red dot, always a reminder to my analogy about the goddess Kali as a beneficial predator that helps you control the garden pests, as above so below, as within so without

found a big sprawling cuban oregan plant, respect to the Sunset Nursery for supplying my first plant, my favorite local nursery

CUBAN OREGANO like a succulent, big juicy flaps, meaty, has texture

lone BLACK SOLDER FLY larvae, made a new compost bin for it, affinity as the smokey ash black reminds me of my encounters of the dark goddess

ROSEMARY BUSH

Bromance with lead designer/land keeper, holism, spirituality, martial arts, being fuck yeah stoked about everything you’re vibing on, whether biking or skating or punk shows or girls, the excitement and enthusiasm for working together in a really harmonious way, playing fort, having that be doing this really fun stuff and trying to be productive and profitable, and create value, community, and education

Don’t like the word retreat, would rather be making an advance, what if Burning Man and the Rainbow Gathering happened at Occupy Wall street?…

The word retreat is not my favorite word for spiritual gatherings or workshop gatherings, for lack of a better word, we’re both on that path of building a robust spiritual holistic, regenerative tool set, guinea pigging things on our selves, battle test our immune systems, our diets, not just lead by example but all take on clients

my dual life as a sort of renaissance sex worker of sorts, don’t know what to call myself now, sort of artisan, somewhere between a professional and hobbyist in that realm

this is a place where my dear brothers could circle up for some deep men’s work

don’t want to be a cult leader, taking extreme precaution from becoming a cult of personality

precluding that possibility is a part of design

excess manure is lethal poison if not designed to integrate in a dispersed manner to feed the soil

music icons vs cult leaders

ethics and responsibility of meme producers

its all about rotation, it’s all about decentralization, the term is an ensemble cast that’s the solution to patriarchy, to dictatorship, share the love share the power, share the influence, know when to delegate, know when to lift other people up above you, I’m gonna try my best, by all means accept feedback, look at shadow

I left the same work crew in 2014 to go to the northwest to live out the dream of romance with a piece of property

When I left Babylon then, my dear eco-bro said, “Do Good”, so I’m gonna try to do good again this time

Permaculture or tantra, like ida and pingala, they’re complimentary

DIY Erotic Empowerment from Massage Therapy to Female Ejaculation with Alexis Lane TPP243

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Alexis Lane Pic

In this episode I’m joined by podcast listener Alexis Lane for an exploration of her journey of do-it-yourself erotic empowerment from massage therapy to female ejaculation and beyond!

About Alexis:

Alexis currently lives in southern Virginia. Call center representative by day, Yoni Goddess by night, Alexis is passionate about exploring and awakening her own sacred sexuality. She firmly believes that more women realizing their own Sacred Sexuality and the Divine Feminine within will change the face of this world in a powerful way. She looks forward to sharing the knowledge she’s gained through her own research and explorations for the Collective growth and well being of our species and our planet.

My Non-Verbatim Show Notes:

AL: a little bit about me, 30 years old southern virginia, all kinds of jobs, call center rep day job, in my own personal life my own free time I’ve really been for the past 2 or 3 years called to really dive deep into my own personal growth, issues of self love, developing self love and self respect, manifested through getting in touch with own sexuality, past 2 or 3 years, really hands on with myself, getting into all of my issues on a sexual level, I really just experienced a lot of growth and changes that I’m really excited, see how those things are gonna take shape in the world, right now definitely got a lot of female or authorities on the feminine side, Grace Diaz, Kim Anami, so many more, did find your podcast through Grace Diaz’ channel, that’s how I came to hear your podcast, episode on squirting, really excited to share a lot of practical application hacks, excited to see what I can offer

ted talk, unleashing the female orgasm, she did that ted talk has wonderful channel great website, an authority, or mentor in female sacred sexuality, another one I do listen to a bit of layla martin, amber leitz, sharing her own experiences and coming from a lot of personal experiences

TP: massage therapy process?

AL: started out straight out of high school, wasn’t very hands on, my mother found a great school for me, different than traditional massage therapy school, most are up to a year, very condensed, found me a 2 year associates, at an actual college, did go and get associates in applied science along with massage therapy licensure, courses, did have anatomy, physiology, kinesiology, science of how the body moves, how different parts move in relationship to each other, neurology, physiology, practical application of massage portion as well, a large part of our day and classroom time, half of time we spent in class alone was hands on massage portion

wide variety of different modalities, introduced to different types and techniques, intro to energetic fields, reiki, zero point balancing, shiatsu, intro to tai chi, broad spectrum intro to all different components, that you could branch out into from massage therapy, probably got a wider, broader range of training, of course normal classes like english, math, statistics, electives, art, really got a wide range education there

at the time I went to school, I’m sure it’s changed now, it was required for you to have at least a 1000 hours of clinical or volunteer times, did have clinic on site, instructors ran, people from community, staff members, students, would come in

offered reduced priced massages for the sake of us getting practice, also traveled within the local area and we did marathons, chair massage for seniors, a lot of hands on, encouraged to trade with other therapists, did a lot of that with energy workers, a lot of hands on training, worked on and off as a massage therapist

TP: path towards sacred sexuality adventure?

AL: hadn’t always been outwardly sexual, been very reserved, any experiences or enjoyment kept very much to myself, probably about 2 or 3 years ago, getting on to this path, coming out of a really dry period, personal events, 2013-14 really cataclysmic, broke me down, didn’t destroy but came pretty damn close, shut down completely sexually, even for myself, for a good 3 or 4 years, there was nothing, didn’t self pleasure, nothing, didn’t watch porn, anyone even mentioned sex it made me extremely uncomfortable, then one day, I was on a porn site and was watching, it was a tutorial, more than a porn film, tutorial of how to make a woman ejaculate, it was called squirting, this guy broke it down in detail step by step, technique that you use, hands on demonstration, she definitely appeared to not just be ejaculating, you can do it with or without orgasm, she was doing with orgasms, her whole body got into it, almost seemed that she went into a trance or another world, spasming, glow on her face, light in her eyes, so much joy, looked like she was on another level of existence at that point, thinking to myself, what am I doing wrong, I want that, that was the turning point, can’t tell you how many times I rewatched that video, its been a journey from there

everything I’ve done since, a lot of things I’ve done

tips hacks, advice, for me its become a life style, do feel it’s gonna be a lifelong journey for me, some body starting out, have to start where you are, goes back to porn, there’s a wide variety of information that’s available to us at the touch of our finger tips, that ranges from good to more darker perspective, its really important first and foremost going into this type of work, spiritual work, my advice, to know you’re gonna have to user discernment with the information you find, barometer, compass, has been my own intuition, my own inner guidance, having to be able to go within yourself and check in to know whether something feels right for you, have to be able to feel, whether it’s gonna be expansive, or something that’s gonna cause you to contract and close down more, have to know own limits

lot of authorities on female sexuality that I listen to on the regular, not always everything they say resonates with me, try to pick and choose, sift and sort, simple as that

need to have respect for ourselves, not always easy, conditioned it so important to please that other person, when you’re going into this work, going hands on and intimate with yourself and another, have courage, enforce this for myself, make sure you have smooth ride, trust and respect yourself, in what you choose to do

advice geared towards women: a lot of the obstacles that I as a woman experienced to being able to have those deeper vaginal g-spot, orgasms, cervical, barrier to ejaculate, masculinly actively do, more about relaxing into, something that will just come out of you, kinda have to get out of your own way, learn how to relax into it, its innate, something you were born to do, remembering how to do it, reactivating your bodies ability to do it, if you’re not real good at relaxing, it’s a skill

really just to have fun with it, you don’t have to take anything too seriously, its supposed to be fun that’s what I’ve got as far as advice

TP: moisture resistant blanket?

AL: very organized, very type a, plans my life out to a T, I actually didn’t really do too much experimenting with squirting before I actually found a blanket, I had first really gotten introduced to the concept of female ejaculation through Grace Diaz channel, then the work, Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot, Debrah, I had always known of squirting, always known it was possible for some women, based on information I had gotten, only certain women could do, most women not capable, I found out no, something all women can do, unless had surgery or injury, innately all women able to do, more research, heard about this company, reading an article about celebrity, paparazzi, carrying up sex furniture, checked out their site, sex furniture, checked out the site, happened across this blanket, I had immediately I thought if I really get going, really open my waters, gush, squirt profusely, I want to protect myself, I have an expensive mattress, and don’t want to do lots of laundry, the exploration I did have wasn’t really too messy because I had starting out, had trouble getting my waters flowing

I would produce liquid, but not very much, kind of blessing, never had experience of ruining a mattress,

TP: has it proved sea worthy?

AL: potential this blanket has to improve lives, other things it could be used for, it is marketed as a sexual enhancing item actually there’s other things I use it for, I’ll get into that, since I’ve started I have been exploring my bodies own ability to ejaculate for about the last year an a half, big part, not having the muscular development to push the fluid out, regular use of yoni egg, I’m a huge fan of yoni eggs, they do come with their own guide book on contraindications and things you want to watch out for if you’re gonna use them as tools, probably the most integral tool I’ve used on my own journey, reactivating my ability to squirt or ejaculate, regular daily ongoing use of them, really just in my self pleasuring settings working with other tools, several g-spot tools, some work better than others, I’ve been able to steadily get to the point where I can produce more and more liquid, and to the point where its not so hard for me to relax into it, it cums easier, I can ejaculate quite profusely, another part of it is, I have to be in the right emotional state, can’t be tense or anxious, in the right state I can produce quite a bit

when I released, it was so forceful, just about hit my knees, quite a lot of liquid, I drenched this blanket, the outer layer is really nice micro fiber, one side feels more fleecy, long or soft, not sure what core is made of, nice heavy quality, almost feels like a really thick, aluminum foil, that’s what’s in the core, of thick micro fiber, I kinda ran a test, ejaculated very profusely, could literally feel seem from liquid on the other side, could feel the heat rising up and no leaks

also, another thing I’ve used it for successfully is with menstruation, a lot of women, I can not have a period without leaking through and ruining sheets, no matter how I try to prevent it, I’m forever leaking, worked so well absorbing fluid from squirting, do have heavy periods, never had a leak through with that, mine is black so never shows any stains

TP: reconcile massage therapy and erotic/sensual body work

AL: conventional massage, faces challenges, sex trafficking we do have massage parlors, people go in and pay to essentially have a hand job, we do have a lot of legitimate medical therapeutic pockets of massage as well, I might get some flack for saying this, I feel like the massage field, massage industry is kind of like the porn industry, range is so wide and diverse, really ranges from light to dark, because of the world that we live in and the way that that works right now, right now we are in a situation within the industry where it is more restricted, more regulated, sometimes makes it harder for things that really need to be integrated as therapies and modalities, it does present a barrier to those things developing, situation where a few bad apples can ruin the bunch, I think that I’m sure there are some reputable therapeutic professional body workers in the world, who are addressing the issue of storing trauma within the sexual organs, because of the state of the world and restrictions within the massage industry, more on the individual level, not rely on industry to be guiding force, really take it grass roots, take matters into our own hands, start to explore our own bodies, we need connect with our own bodies and own abilities, innate inner wisdom that you wake up when you explore these inner realms, realizations and states of being that we come to naturally

as I’ve gone on this journey, I’m not having to force or dictate, as I peel back each later, with each layer of trauma, and stuckness that I peel away, I deepen in to my more authentic self, the more I go with this the more that it comes out, my own intuition, if something is right for me or if not, we’re in an information overload, not just at the tip of fingers, but its being thrown at us, so important to be in touch with your own inner voice, to know if something is right for you or its not

deeper impact if it’s coming from the grassroots, inner knowing that then grows outwards, we’re gonna find the most powerful transformation and improvement and growth when it comes to sensual and erotic body work, hoping to come from too, how do we take our knowledge as professionals within different niches, being a sex coach or relationship coach, any of these different titles and hats, sexual awakening, how do we bring the practical application of that to your average laymen who might not have the training, they can start to connect with deep wisdom they do have within themselves its just dormant, wake up to their own master, and that’s kind of what I’m hoping to bring in from my perspective, and from my own personal experience, I want to help people start from where they are, and connect and ground in from their own power and own personal voice, so it’s not something they have to go do, a licensed body worker, they feel

really just getting started, so many things ready to pop, can’t keep my mouth shut about these things, finding ways to talk about it, one way or another, can’t keep it inside anymore, next time I come on, this has been a lot of fun, hope there is a next time, will have my own links, more of my own thing going by then, on my path and expression, last words or thoughts

I’m directing this to everybody in general, women who are listening, encourage you to love yourself unconditionally, touch yourself as an extension of that love that you have for yourself, with the utmost respect and regard, get in there, re-establish your connection with you body, whether you’re in a relationship or not, my sexuality is for me, that’s independent of what somebody else gets from it, for my own self growth, and pleasure and enjoyment, encourage women to get in there, connect with your own body, love yourself, touch yourself, see how that open’s your life up in ways you can’t imagine, so many ways the work I’ve done has touched and impacted other areas of my life

 

Reflections and Predictions on the Evolution of Music Industry Technology TPP242

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Tantra Punk Singing Live

In this episode I share reflections and predictions from my experience of the evolution of music industry technology, excerpted from a academic research interview

My (non-verbatim) notes:

TP: Creating record albums on vinyl with indy punk bands, some times on labels, sometimes 100% diy

have had experience of difficulties, as a very strict very purist indy artist, wanted to avoid bar codes, distributes, anyone who’d want to control you creative direction

getting you hooked on hype

bands renting big tour buses, fancy hotels, their in debt with the label, they lose the right to perform with their name

didn’t have any of those horror stories to that extent, but experiences I had sometimes selling out a little bit to the labels and the music industry, it’s an asymmetrical deal

the sports player who gets their checks is rich, but the person who writes their checks is wealth

if you’re the talent or player or whatever you are that’s generating this ecosystem of wealth around you, always replaceable by whatever’s up and coming next

if you’re not making them money hand over fist, your music gets tossed in the bargain bin, that was the brick and mortal experience before things got super digital

different forms of financial abuse and exploitation, deal end deals, contracts not being honored, music being bootlegged

when you’re sold to have higher hopes but you don’t get the backing that you’d thought you’d get

melting down of band relationships, smart contracts are apt

blockchain tech and facilitate more autonomy and more decentralization, really have more disintermediation between artists and their end user audience, their fans

this technology of smart contracts can create more returns and more yields, more control of royalties, management, intellectual property rights management through smart contracts

a lot of disputes, drama, heart breaking madness when bands form and they all start out as college buddies, high school, garage band, resistant to notion of creating contracts to split up ownership

it’s a myth that if you engage in a contract you’re assuming an adversarial relationship, it’s like when people don’t do prenuptial agreements, happens in bands all the time, really ugly to the point where several bands are using the same name like a forked blocked chain, lot of drama, problems

when you want to bring in a studio musician or side person, can’t afford representation

once a smart contract gets written in code, it can get duplicated, modified, iterated upon

all that stuff is unfolding pretty rapidly

I’ll probably make it into the early adopter bracket, but I’m relying on geeks, developers, want to be in first generation of early adopters, enthusiast for technology

last time I toured with a band, we had a pay with bitcoin option

evolution of stable coins, dai, maker dao, really gonna facilitate solving a lot of early problems that ethereum dapp developers being

one of the most exciting them for me about it is you can resolve and prevent disputes, sit down with collaborators, and say are we gonna go in equal rights per contributor, you might say, the drummer doesn’t write melodies, or lyrics, but we have the creative solidarity, since it’s not just a cult of the front person, there’s a place for that too, for example a band every body wants to value each other’s input equally

thanks to bitpay you can do ethereum payments, a lot of this stuff can work along side or parallel, payment to smart contract, can split percentages to each member

talent buyers at clubs, be just like making a paypal payment or swiping a card, as an artist you could make a statement by going full crypto

if its not direct crypto payments, this band is going to funnel our payments, from all revenue streams, have it all go into a smart contract, still have accountant, still have legal advice

security of immutable blockchain, better to say corruption resistant

people embezzle, people pocket money, some people feel they deserve more

they creep up, a lot of resentment kills bands, how many bands could you save if you were able to preclude 99.9 percent of the drama that happens over sharing resources

M: do you think this is a solution that would really change or help music industry, goes to apple, then to record label, is there a big need for an instant royalty payment

TP: yeah, that’s a great point, I’d say that’s absolutely critical where we get to the point where Andreas Antonopolis, I think he coined, at least the first time I heard the word, basically called it streaming money if we get to that point where for example, some miracle of governance makes it possible for one of the competing blockchains to facilitate lightning speed peer to peer transactions, that don’t get bottlenecked like ethereum network and crypto kitties

sometimes perverse incentives with confirming transactions and blocks, for general listening audience, at this stage of development, early stage, a long lag time, when there’s more use the system gets less efficient, it doesn’t scale, the way we’re used to

we want to get to this state of streaming money, micro payments and splitting up in multiple recipients via smart contracts, within next year or two is my guess, legal contracts that hold water

let’s say you’re a band and you’re on the road, and you already tapped out your advance for the recording, you went out of pocket, you’re out there on the road, like a start up that doesn’t have seed funding, if you’re vehicle breaks down, or you gotta bail out one of your members because they were plastered and started tearing up the hotel room or something, or you have to buy them drugs, if you had streaming money, we just did a great performances, numbers are going up, people sharing music, posting videos, some platforms do have faster payouts, but the older school gears of processing payments

it would be great, for established bands, they could have a really good run putting out a chart topping single, then the growing pains of success can kill the band, they can break up on the first tour, being a touring musician is more stressful than people appreciate, the toll, lack of sleep, road food, immune system depressed, swabbing the country for new strains of colds and viruses

M: for streaming money, artists don’t get paid enough right now, one big question, is it because we as a consumer, buyer of music, 2019 everyone is streaming, I don’t see anyone buying a cd, everyone knows , are the platforms giving themselves too much money, or we as consumers are not willing to pay that money

TP: honestly I’m not in a position myself to say, I would like to believe that in the ecological economics, I’d like to believe that less brick and mortal less physical materials, not as clean and green as you would like it to be, going treeless, but what about all the electricity, not accurate to assume not having a physical product and going digital, trade offs on both sides, I’d like to study that, if we assume going virtual and going digital is going to reduce the foot print of all the petroleum record albums that were printed, you don’t have to fill a landfill with an mp3 that went out of style

I’m grateful for the work that the centralized platforms have done, VC funded, I know soundcloud had a really hard time at certain points, have an appreciation for tech start up business cycles, don’t want to demonize, it’s an invitation what those entities have done, people who want to make more peer to peer open source

hacker mantra, information should be free, I consider myself, if I was Metallica, I would not have sued Napster, in that sense I appreciate that infrastructure, to create these powerful file distribution systems, but if we can reclaim the hacker ethic around that, just like bit torrent did, evolving, paraphrase Andreas, history of internet history of blockchains, if you regulate the centralized platforms, you end up forcing the evolution of people creating ways to work around that are headless

crypto, we can do our own peer to peer unstoppable versions of sharing value, intellectual property rights, sharing media, more on side of creating solutions and not protesting the problems,

why should they be charitable, let them be as predatory as they want, it will just push indy coders,

M: is it still too slow

TP: it depends on the use case, the transaction price on ethereum, the gas price, you have to pay to execute a smart contract, micro payment, peer to peer, alice pays bob one penny as a tip, for whatever the service is, if I release a track for free, if someone wants to give a .5 cent tip and it’s gonna cost a dollar, still not at a point where those micropayments are facilitated

Ameen Soleimani, pioneer developer for state/payment channels, lightning fast micropayments, that can sync up to the base layer, you have to be really advanced, and pay developers a lot of money, its just such a new technology, eventually there will be a more affordable way to develop custom apps, but hey right now if you can do that stuff, you’re gonna get paid really well, he’ll be one of the ones to facilitate that

to answer more directly, depending on your use case, let’s just say micro payments are a ways off for end users to just have some front end app, where you say hey band mates less do different rights on our tracks, that level of granularity, we’re gonna get there, but after side chain, or state channel, payment channel technology, wider range of developers

M: if a broader spectrum of programmers will get into the market, the price will sync

TP: for sure, that’s why there’s so much fighting between the different blockchains, because developer mindshare is the most precious resource and commodity, people with skin in the game, if you have skin in the game with EOS then you want developers to be very nationalistic and tribalistic with their allegiance to the code of that chain

I feel most beholden to ethereum community, even though other alternatives have been in development, not investment advice, its spirit, it’s origin story, I do believe that perhaps with ethereum 2.0 advancements we’ll get to the point where the cost of doing the computations for smart contracts will be more efficient, it was created for platform for decentralized applications

no body is used to increasing ethereum gas limit to process activity on apps, it’s all gotta be tucked under the hood

very much a premium to be in that first wave of technology, I believe in it for sure

M: erc20- explain

TP: that token standard has been prerequisite

bitcoin and ether are not stable coins,

because of the erc20 token standard, ether is like the parent currency, and the erc20 is a child of that currency, but it has independent features, total supply, other parameters for programmable money

bitcoin is programmable money, but very limited, helps reduce attack surface, makes it less easy to hack and corrupt

eth, far more programmable, large attack surface, necessary as another experiment to push limits of programmable money

erc20 had to be created to create subnetworks of value, so anybody can make you’re own token

as the SEC provides more guidance, you could be a registered securities offering with your band, don’t want to use ICO, scams and fraud, before bubble in 2017, very excited about projects tokenizing artists, and bands, so you could have this potential buy in, built in crowd source funding

used to be called the street team, because cyber street team, and now there can be blockchain stream team, incentivized to hold your token

more pertinent use case, artists and fans and music industry at large, you wouldn’t want to have a whole elaborate scheme of smart contract payments bein g made with ether, being what the payouts would be in, youd’ want to use a stable currency

I didn’t want to use centralized stable coins, the maker dao, closer to the spirit of decentralization, crypto anarchy

that’s the thing that’s got to be baked in, probably going to be dai

don’t know when that announcement will be made, viable because stable coin

M: technology right now is overly hyped, major barriers still have to overcome, blockchain will still be there

TP: I do believe there is a place for hybrids between old system and new system, people say there should never be something called a private blockchain, the sewer rat and the bubble boy, if you’re not a public blockchain, being attacked, you’re not building the armor of being open to the web, like a sewer rat, contrast that with bubble boy who didn’t have an immune system, private intranet blockchain, your’e not evolving, updating libraries, hodge podge of kludgey contractor code, unpatched supply chain code that could already be comprised, the security of open source

more eyes on code makes the bugs shallow

what needs to have blockchain and what doesn’t what needs that level of security and what doesn’t

some people describe ethereum as the slowest most expensive computer on earth, feature not a bug, if you want to more security and reliability you should be able to pay for premium, expect to happen on distributed network around the globe, for now we’re accepting those factors as being the cost of taking a step away from the big data hubs of centralization

depends on what you’re trying to do, I believe there’s a place for private blockchains, for internal auditing of record keeping, inventory, in some ways safer not to be connected to the internet, offline ledger or record of state changes, air gapped from the rest of the internet, while considering sewer rat and bubble boy thesis, best way I’ve heard it described

you don’t have to put everything on blockchain, degrees of centralization vs decentralization in the technology stack

base layer could be bitcoin or ethereum, private protocols running on top of that and anchoring back to that

all kinds of ways, on a vertical stack, tie in either above or below our use case, or app, up or down or sideways, don’t think it’s an either or

centralized database vs blockchain

I don’t think we’ll move everything onto the blockchain

there have been horror stories with the dao hack, rolling back the chain, ethereum classic, bitcoin bitcoin cash, no body wants to build their business on these fault lines of male ego conflicts

I don’t want to be the one out there trying to convert people to something that’s not mature enough to be trusted

I developed a relationship with a guy who was early in bitcoin, onboarding third world villagers, sincere desire to bank the unbanked, while he was rolling out his project, bitcoin price fell by 50 percent, can only imagine the look on his face, and those who he got excited about it, all that explaining you have to do, already been in small version of that

M: if blockchain technology can foster trust and transparency is it then possible that trust in technology, could help building up or opening up networks, to connect people better, do you think blockchain technology shifting away intermediaries, peer to peer network, helping creatives to create a better social network

TP: we’ll get to the point where the end user app interface, within a few years, you could program an app by pressing buttons on a gui, you could do millions of dollars worth of smart contract language writing when the tools are built up to a point, and the libraries of code, you can do a custom blockchain for going out with friends to a bar, to split the tab, the way you can gamify everything, if you’re in a band, and you can create an app for every show on that tour and that app for that show, the people in the audience are gonna rate the performance of the member of each band and get paid in real time based on performance, immediately increase the energy, you are gonna get paid extra on top of your per deim, based on the audience rating your performance in real time, making eye contact, audience will have a dial on the app, that app that could be program not be getting 500 million dollars of venture capital, just by downloading that app

there was a time basically you had to install tcp-ip into windows, if you wanted to use the internet, now you’d never think twice

we’ll get there, that’s gonna be the sweet spot, where anybody can program a smart contract

Mindfulness, Nature Immersion, and The Pacific Crest Trail with Jessica Moon TPP241

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Jessica Moon In a Boat Smiling

In this episode I’m joined by Jessica Moon for a conversation on mindfulness, nature immersion, and hiking the Pacific Crest Trail for 5 MONTHS!

About Jessica:

Jessica Moon is a Stress Management Coach who focuses on Mindfulness and Nature Immersion as vehicles for powerful healing and evolution. From many years in corporate America to hiking the Pacific Crest Trail, Jessica has a broad range of life experiences that has provided her the insight to guide and transform in her one on one coaching practice. She is an advocate for mental health awareness and diversity in the outdoors, and active in building her local community.

Instagram: @jessicamoonco

My (non verbatim) notes:

TP: Jessica Moon, old dear friend, along the ride of tantra punk journey since very beginning around 2013, was shocked to find that name hadn’t already been turned into some sort of persona online, hopefully I’ve done my best

she’s way beyond a supportive friend, an inspiration, somebody who’s kept me on a very ethical and conscious path, has given me lots of great feedback

talk about her path, eco psychology, forest bathing, many ways to look at benefits of spending time in nature, deep personal journeys of long distance hiking

extra bonus, you might recognize her silky voice as the voice of the outro on all of my episodes, does a wonderful job of doing the wrap up details, its a treasure to have that mystery voice be on the podcast

JM: working on getting people outdoors, help people see benefits of being immersed in nature, millennials , anyone can benefit, remove barriers to help people really benefit

start when I younger and in college I was a sexual health peer mentor for my university, worked with my peers to educate them on health topics, disseminated health and hygiene products through the outreach center, help become more empowered

after graduated, joined nature center, help plan ecological programs and events, natural conservation for the city, got to work with variety of people

it was a very beautiful experience to be intimately connected with these people, very active motivated hikers, some people who’d never spent time even at a park

really wanted to help people have a more enjoyable, more intimate experience with natural world

then got into corporate world, for about 5 years, it was good to learn a lot of skills, but definitely aching, stress, heaviness of not having that immersion that I used to have

caught up in career, societies idea of success, lost connection with self, deep connection with natural world

year, decided to hike pacific crest trail, had been training, reconnecting with mountains, beaches, when I took the leap, and left for the trail, such a transformation from being immersed in the wilderness, back country for 5 months, feel completely at peace now that I’ve had that experience, affirmed, not everybody can take that much time off their life

but any amount of time is so beneficial, now that I’m back, into the science, philosophy, how to get more nature time into our busy lives, liberating motivating

TP: want to get into the drama of this whole arch of preparing, doing some permaculture the other day, mentioning we were gonna talk about this, the PCT, how do people survive, you can’t bring a semi truck water tank that drives behind you, what are the amenities on the trail, he said people will send selves care packages, I don’t really have a clue

JM: the resupply logistics, first, instead of one really long trip, think of as series of 3 to 5 day, sometimes more than 7 days depending on snow, how quick you hike, generally 3 to 5 days, given that , hiker hunger, metabolism working so hard, never felt hunger like that before, if you think about it as you’re going town to town, long series of small backpacking trips, you can self packages ahead of time, my strategy was I resupplied in town, if you’re lucky, supermarkets, sometimes just gas station, generally you know, or if you didn’t ask around, anticipate that, if you go get into a town with a big grocery store, buy food, ship it forward, only did for really small towns, didn’t want to eat pop tarts and snicker bars, backpacking food, if you don’t go really expensive route, has a lot more nutrients compared to options like instant ramen, after a while, can’t eat this any more, try to mix it up, hit up bulks, blessing to find bulk section, keeping an open mind, would have been hard if I had any dietary restrictions if I was vegan or gluten intolerant, I would have done more sending myself ahead of time, its really not that much cheaper or convenient to send yourself the boxes ahead of time, you’re tastes change

you don’t have a car, last thing you want to do is walk more

TP: from prepper survivalist world, lot of people in fantasy land, vision of how their gonna be so fit, prowess, bad ass, when zombie apocalypse happens, but they’re not conditioning in the mean time, but the experience of doing this endurance drill, makes me think everything has to be so tightly economized, efficiency, variables to consider, you’re probably better prepared for anything to go wrong, then people who make a whole life style out of being a prepper, tripping me out

could you tell me about some of the sort of dietary life hacks that you came up with, as some one doing this frugally, out of necessity, on a budget, how to have healthy food and not junk food

JM: does take a toll, body type can’t just eat anything, when I was on trail, I was like omg I can eat chips and candy, I really felt terrible, I really need to take care of myself, I was like okay I really need to change the trajectory of my nutrition, took a lot of supplements, glucosamine , multivitamin, try to pick up juice shakes, I needed that because when you’re on the trail, you have to consider weight right, weight expense and convenience

for example, you can get tuna packets, just a staple for hikers, thing about them, not terribly expensive, but not cheap either, on cost, in the circle of the through hikers, most people agree it’s about $1000 a month, on a tighter budget its possible to hike less, you’re gonna be spending less time in town, if you’re a social person its a fun part of the experience to explore the town

if you’re on a tight budget its definitely possible to do the hike on less, buy the food in bulk previously

dehydrating food at home and sending forward, people get sick of the same food, but you can spend a lot more on the trail as well, stay in hotel, one bed vs 6 hikers, or alcohol, or deserts, depends on person, average person not super luxurious is about $1000, barrier to entry is not accessible to everybody, it is a big trip, felt very privileged that I had opportunity

TP: bullet points, staple macro nutrients, can feel you on the weight and price, on that path as urban survivalist, trying to figure out what my pallet will enjoy and what my guts will handle, I could have the most Bourgeoisie, organic fresh catered diet to the maximum degree of what I know is the ideal, but if I did that I wouldn’t be able to do anything else, joke about “whole paycheck”

but I do believe in my heart of hearts that there are life hacker ways to have extreme frugality, but have extreme nourishment, bulk, group buys, I’m curious for you, fats, proteins, carbohydrates in that framework, stuff you could tolerate the longest, didn’t make you sick, sweet spot of weight and cost, ramen doesn’t cut it

JM: biggest thing for me, that I bough dehydrated vegetables, basically a soup mix, in bulk, just add it to everything, find the vegetables that you like, if you have a dehydrator, I would say incorporating vegetables into your diet no matter what, can eat dried meat, jerky, bison bars, sausage, tuna or chicken pouches, but if you just have that, you’re lacking that balance,

really enjoyed dried, pre prepared beans, really not that expensive, compared to bison bar, or higher end nut butters, just dried beans, make sure they’ve been dehydrated as cooked beans, they’re like bean flakes, if you’re vegan or something, or if body can’t tolerate fat anymore, its really high fat out there, powered humus also an option

sunflower seeds are really cheap

also drink powders, couldn’t handle the sugar, protein powders keep you full

cheeses work really well, lactose intolerant, but a popular lunch was a flour tortilla, summer sausage, and hard cheese

things like spam, powdered eggs, dehydrated milk, I really enjoyed dried veggies, dried fruits

chilli mangos was a treat, new technologies for much lighter, dehydrated and freeze dried veggies and fruits

really liked raw stuff, everything was so dry, and processed, but things like nutritional yeast, everything but the bagel package, sauce packets, miso soup, chicken noodle soup, powdered taco mix

lots of sodium and preservatives, but they’re light, cheap, last a long time, if in a pinch they have something to offer

I just bit the bullet and got green juices, or super food mixes whenever I could afford it

avoid ramen, so many other things available, entire bagels, last for a few days, instant rice and potatoes, always a staple, nan flat bread, corn tortillas don’t last very well, whole slices of bread, couscous was really popular

you have you’re good old trail mix, mixing it up and making it different, you really start to despise it

TP: shifting into more paleo and keto trend if you will, and so I’ve been experimenting a lot with build seeds, grinding into a more palettable form, powdered tahini, from bulk sesame seeds, grinding down to pumpkin seeds, mixing with coconut oil, like bread and butter, get that experience but it’s low carb, more protein, then having that fat, thinking about weight factor

were people bringing tubs of coconut oil or was it just too much weight, olive oil or other oils, calorie dense but you can’t eat that that much of it

JM: lots of oil, add a scoop of coconut oil to your meal, delicious, add more calories, seen people carrying full glass bottle of hot sauce, to spice things up, seen someone carry a glass jar of coconut oil

when for lighter right

went for single use coconut packets, a light way to incorporate into meals, trying to avoid highly processed carbs, I don’t make me feel that great

nuts, sunflower seeds, chia hemp and flax seeds also in my diet

they’re just delicious

TP: sprouting seeds and recycling water?

JM: read about a woman who sprouted just in a tupperware, poked holes, put a piece of cheese cloth, had fresh greens all week

broccolli, peas, lentils, alfalfa, also there was a time where there was a bunch of rain, miners lettuce foraging in oregon, what if I just threw some of that in to my ramen

TP: what level of foraging is legal/desirable, plant ID nerds, not gonna survive 100% but hope they wouldn’t be too restrictive about that kind of stuff

JM: I really can’t say, if we’re allowed to, it’s a protected trail, but in oregon you have to have a permit to forage for wild mushrooms, also, I definitely eat the huckleberries on the trail that were everywhere, just so many

TP: some things are invasive too, its a benefit

JM: thank you these giant berries we’re going into the trail

if I had a little more confidence in local flora and fauna, know for sure you can’t hunt, if it was permissible I’d totally lead a group, let’s get launch, wild mustard, miners lettuce, local invasive plants, didn’t have personal experience foraging, other than the berries

TP: people not yet in romance with nature yet, remember when I didn’t feel a romance with nature, grew up playing in woods, at the beach, wasn’t a deep yearning to connect with something I’d never known, didn’t feel deprived, took it for granted, video games started to eat my childhood, I don’t want to say disenchanted, I can commiserate with the people who feel like they feel more excitement from video games, socializing, hipster strips, when go out to nature I’m bored, cynical earlier in life, then rekindled romance through gardening, seeking healing, would love to have you in your words, help people feel into the shifts and transformation and deep soul tissue healing that’s happening, if you could romanticize the journey

JM: I think just to start it off, if you’re not in love, or find yourself bored, but you’re stressed out, want to work on health, nurture it better, just like to share, some of the research that is, where we are right now with nature immersion is where yoga was, in terms of more mainstream, widespread, growing body of research combined with intuitive understanding, tipping point, health researchers, government, very progressive, bring nature to people’s every day lives, it can lower stress hormone levels, reduce nervous system arousal, enhance immune system function, decrease anxiety, improve mood, help with aggression, accelerate healing

highly stimulated in this world now, if you want to try, give it a chance, big study, 20k people, people who spent 2 hours a week in green spaces, parks, neighborhood with a ton of trees, just hanging out and removing yourself from urban environment, traffic, noise, any kind of natural environment, either all at once or spaced out, like taking 10 minutes on launch break, fresh air, giving self space

attention restoration theory, allows brain to restore, allows cognition, your brain giving it space and time to relax, when you go back to desk or work, cognition levels are much better

little things like that, if you’re not someone who gets super excited, its such an easy thing, give yourself 10 minutes, 2 hours a week spread out, try it

when we make something important, our health, mental health, emotional states, spiritual states, at very least, relax and think, relax and not think, taking time to do that, make it important, have that connection with natural space it will begin to show itself to you

a friend that is not trying to tell you what to do with your life, or unsolicited advice, they’re just there, allow you to work through whatever you’re going through

natural world all of the patterns that exist in that space are things that as humans we’ve evolved with, all very familiar

one quote I really love, from scientist who was a pioneer for forest bathing Japan, “we are visually fluent in the patterns of the natural world, because we evolved in the scenery of the natural world we can process its patterns easily, it is this fluency that relaxes us”

TP: stress less, talk to the nature painting, talk to the landscape

JM: with my own business, researching so much, why isn’t this more popular, why isn’t this more well known

allow attention to restore our brains, to chill out, thinking tests better, in New York, some crazy busy place, even just looking at pictures of nature, videos, listening, put on headphones listen to nature sounds

all of that is beneficial, so it’s like why not

not the most stimulating, in terms of instant gratification, but if you make your health, mental health, emotional state, a priority, 10 minutes a day for you to level up

TP: PSA for gamers, as of just very recently Santa Cruz has joined Oakland, decriminalize entheogenic plants and fungi, the whole suite of plant derived entheogens, still federally highly regulated, but just like cannabis, this movement is growing very fast, #decriminalizenature, I feel like for me what shift was the romance with nature 10xed when I started to integrate dancing in the garden with psychedelics, because all of that dopamine you’d get from slaying dragons in a video game world, you’ll be that thrilled just watching the flow of nature, and being a part of it, and doing your own shadow work, and having nature spirits help you with that

don’t want impose that narrative on our work

JM: hemp will save the world environmentally

TP: what are some of the more cinematic moments

JM: very very beautiful views are conducive of these type of moments, knowing that when you’re looking out on this beautiful landscape, mountain peaks, feel very small, but very connected, look out and see all these pieces of me, subatomic particles, everything is me, and I am it, really grounding type of experience to have, look out, wow all the issues I’m struggling with or limiting factors, or negative head space, all that just dissipates, because you put things into perspective, look into the night sky, see the stars, and you just, sense of awe, and admiration, and deep respect, when you are just so connected, just in tune

TP: I feel that, live for those vistas, any times where equipment failed, or got soaked, freezing, suffer through a night, moments of triumph

JM: I would say nature is cruel but powerful mistress, so like, in the same way that it will guide me into this revelation about absolute awe adoration, at the same time I’ve been cold, and hungry, and so defeated, but I think those are the moments when we’re struggling, going through change, extreme internal conflict due to weather and terrain, you’re able to grow, I have so much respect for nature, those experiences teach you how to tap into your grit, drive is more important than intrinsic motivation, which is fleeting, tap into own tenacity, hardship

when things are gravy at home, stressed out from work or life, but physically when you are drenched, no placed to put your tent, or snow, post holing thigh deep, on side of mountain gotta get off but sun is setting

even just being out there and pushing yourself is honestly the best way to make a transformation, quickest and most impactful way

meditation is very powerful and important, but holy moly I just did that, very immediate evolution when you experience that kind of physical challenge

just think about it, anytime you get pummeled in the ocean, I respect you so much, I will not through trash in you, I’m just a naked human, a flesh bag

TP: break up, death of loved own, quitting smoking or drinking, seems like any kind of major shift or transition even if its just a week, sounds like you’re a great person to be an evangelist for this, and it’s not a pill that you just take and pay big pharma to have you on a pill for the rest of your life, hopefully get off anti-depressants, I can feel that

we’ll have you back to talk more about your business, thought about doing meet ups, I was just exposed to night hiking, maybe we’ll be looking forward to what you have to offer, more than welcome to promote

JM: for now, instagram up, jessicamoonco on instagram, hoping to launch officially next month if you are stressed out, want some mindfullness guidance and encouragement to get out doors, definitely check me out, jessicamoon.co forthcoming

TP: heart ached when you told me you were in a corporate career, didn’t hear the exhuberance in your voice when you told me about it, glad it served you well for business administration, training for solopreneur, blessings to everyone who thrives in that environment, having known you at the peak of your youthful enthusiasm for exploration and breaking rules and being a rebel, I’m so thrilled to know that everything is coming full circle for you.

I had similar story of it being incongruent with spirit/soul being in a cubicle, but knowing when I was in corporate environment I was mining the experience so I wouldn’t just be a broke ass hippy, I’d know how to take a penny and make two pennies with out

JM: thank you so much for having me, thank you so much for your attention and hope we can get out doors, level up, hope you have a beautiful week

TP: been a treasure and blessing, much love to you and all your beloveds

Seeking the Soul of Local Tantric Energy with Reverend Priestess Sandivel TPP240

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iX CheL Sandivel Pic

In this episode I’m joined by iX-Chel

For a conversation about what she’s been up to of late, her new insights into male sexual continence and energy cultivation, her thoughts on sex workers’ empowerment, her upcoming retreat, and much more!

About iX-Chel:

Reverend Priestess Sandivel, best known as iX-Chel Sandivel, is an intimacy mentor and guide. An Elite Tantra Educator and former Nike Elite Sponsored Runner, she was born in Mexico City and raised in Southern California. She is passionate about creating safe and expansive experiences that allow the human spirit to evolve with ecstatic awareness, confidence and self-love through her mentorship programs, personalized retreats in the tropical jungles of Mexico and playshop events all over the world.

Though movement practices, cultural experience, tantric breathing techniques and ceremonies, Sandivel supports others to discover a profound, ever lasting and orgasmic love within.

Adoring the Beloved Within: www.sandivel.com/retreat

Heartfelt Honoring of Diverse Eco-Femininisms with Zanzibar TPP238

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Zanzibar pic

In this episode I’m joined by my dear friend Zanzibar!

About Zanzibar:

Zanzibar is a para-activist, tropho-autonomist donacrat who has participated in sissi-fraternal, progressional sociopercolation for decades. A dedicated Gaiaolatrat and femineurorevolutionary, glomp* has cotextured the trance-linguistics of metre and assonance over great calendrical longitudes. Glomp is a standing-wave emergence from anonymity who shelters in polywombic noir.

 

Yoni Squirting for Sexual-Spiritual Health and Wellness with Grace Diaz TPP237

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Grace Diaz Yoni Squirting Class

In this episode I’m joined again by Grace Diaz to learn all about yoni squirting!

About Grace:

My passion of healing began at the age of ten, when my father, a Reiki Master of 20 years initiated me as a Reiki Master in Medellin, Colombia. For years after arriving back to the United States, I began teaching Usui Reiki all over the east coast.

Reiki lead me to Tantra. I was initiated and certified into Shakti-Pakti-Tantric-Yoga by my mentor Tafari Sudra, in 2011, and it allowed me to heal my 10-year eating disorder through what I believe was a neuroplastic effect.

My organizations, Yoni Grace, LLC and The Vaginal Voice Foundation along with my book, “How to Use the Yoni Egg for Sensual Healing” were created to share the wisdom I experienced with Vaginal Yoga and Yoni Eggs.

In 2011 I began distributing Yoni Eggs to women worldwide while educating them through what I was taught through interviewing over 5,000 women in Yoni Egg focus groups.

I host Vaginal Yoni Egg Yoga events in the Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Miami Beach, New York, Denver, Bogota and Medellin, Colombia and even in Istanbul, Turkey.

I also certify women in Vaginal Yoni Egg Yoga training for their at-home businesses.

My Vaginal Yoni Egg Yoga events are one of a kind and focus on helping women embrace their sensual wisdom for spiritual and physical wellbeing.

Please visit her website at:
https://yonigrace.com/

 

Santa Cruz Decriminalizes Plant and Fungi Entheogens TPP236

Play

Santa Cruz Entheogens Approved

In this episode I share the audio recording from the Santa Cruz city council vote that decriminalized entheogens:

Resolution declaring that the investigation and arrest of individuals twenty-one (21) years of age and older involved with the adult personal use and personal possession of entheogenic psychoactive plants and fungi listed on the Federal Schedule 1 list be amongst the lowest priorities for the City of Santa Cruz.

Read more at:
https://merryjane.com/news/santa-cruz-just-decriminalized-all-natural-psychedelics

Coronavirus, Joan Rivers, and The Princess Bride TPP235

Play
Joan Rivers Reality Tv Show Permaculture Installation

In this episode I tell an epic survival romance story to commemorate victims of the coronavirus and urge folks to do their best to prepare for this and all threats to their survival…

Please listen to this episode for practical preparedness tips:
Basic Preparedness and the Prepping Pyramid TPP246

My (non-verbatim) Show Notes: 

2012 respected consultant on emergency and disaster preparedness and permaculture design

my partner and I landed a well paid gig for permaculture /preparedness survival make over for Joan Rivers’ Joan Know’s Best reality tv show, rest in piece, rest her soul, amazing important wise elder matriarch of the entertainment industry

honor and blessing to work very closely with her, for that day of shooting, brought out big stake truck, moved our chicken tractor, and mini pond, and mini herb spiral, faux backyard permaculture set up

there had been an earthquake in la, mild but enough to feel it, a few things fall of the wall, they might have captured footage of it during the reality tv show filming, the producers after that real earthquake said, we should actually do a subplot within an episode on disaster preparedness, what it would look like for Joan, daughter and grand son to do an emergency prep process

they had a scene showing they needed batteries for flash lights, doing intuitive inventory of what you need to survival, if there was a disruption of systems of support, critical services cut off, would you be able to render your own first aid, provide food water shelter clothing, they got footage of the family going through the motions seeing how unprepared they were

they went to an amazing local survival equipment wholesaler/retailer, it was like disney land for preppers, they were a company they supplied first aid kits, fire extinguishers, water storage tanks, tools, camping gear, I could go on, their catalog was like porn for me, you go in there and wish you could buy everything, just want to live there, if you were an employee and shit hit the fan you’d be stoked, they should have had guns though, maybe someone should establish a gun store right next door to defend it in a shift hit the fan

so I was living out this romance novel story out on this land, peak of a man’s love life, beautiful romance, crashed and burned in a very archetypal and mythical the arch of the whole relationships, set foot on her property to establish permaculture systems which she had wanted for years, just didn’t have the right person to help, there was an opportunity she put out to the spiritual community that she had this land and wanted to make it productive, I hit her up and said this is what I’ve been trained to do and I’d be happy just to have a place to pitch a tent

it was the end of 2011, lots of 2012 energy, wow if I could be bugged out on some land in the mountains where you’re tucked away in the wood lands, less zombie pressure, higher income bracket, going from where I was at the time, when I met her I had been doing an urban survival permaculture training center garden, I built on top of an parking lot at a big punk warehouse artist colony venue

I developed the rugged outdoor survival life style, in the middle of south central la, surrounded by gangs

I wasn’t trying to scam on her, wasn’t hitting on, it just kinda happened, I was attracted, I respected her, she was almost 20 years older, loved the heck out of her, we did beautiful things together

I was grateful to get the fuck out of the urban center, it was sweet spot, in the mountains, but sill close enough to the city to do gigs and stay in my band

but I wanted to live on the land focus on the land, first building my little camp, sproutables as stable food, I still have embarrassing footage of documenting the projects as they went along

as I got my camp established I started to make a masterpiece out of the land, did the permaculture design, set up composts, garden beds, earth works

this was my dream, that I had been cooped up literally in urban projects, now I got to have this giant canvas

I was filled with love and light, and at the peak of virility

I can’t help getting into the romance, we had this banter, it was quite charming

very much the as you wish, sweet wesley, princess butter cup, princess bride kinda thing she’s like a millionairess, owning her property, in a house that she built with her ex-husband, and with their ill-fated marriage and divorce left her with the house all to herself

a shamanic priestess in her own right, I was drawn for the ceremonial opportunities happening there

at one point she had been developing feelings for me, I begun my tantric path and was resolute in being open and non monogamous, doing long trial periods and setting up agreements where we put leases on each other’s bodies, not just permanent access, it’s gonna be metered out and we’re gonna hold true to contracts

that’s not the most romantic part of the story, sorry that’s my virgo, living and learning hard lessons of getting trapped in toxic relationship situations

she was thrilled to see her property come to life, thrilled clip fresh greens, harvest chicken eggs, she was a crack chef, holistic lavish parties

she was healing, in a cycle of healing with some issues that forced her to stop working, she was really actually, for me to come in there at a time where she had so much liquid capital for so many decades of her professional career, and I get there, having come out of the south central punk ghetto, having really figured out survival, minimalism, living outside, I had just come out of that sort of self imposed ranger school if you will, in some ways very extreme and comparable to that, in some ways I’m doing a disservice to ranger school graduates by saying that

I had seen of the colony reality show seasons, sophisticated social experiments, group of volunteers, strangers, with skill sets, put into social experiment of urban survival post disaster, constructed scenario, global pandemic outbreak, they were put into a survival theme park, they peppered in all these different tools and supplies and equipment, had to ration food, solar power, water purification, latrine, living quarters, defend perimeter, it was like a survival obstacle course staged by the producers, of course they hyped the sexual drama and politics, lots of stage, but overall done very well, really brought out patriarchal douche bag in one of the characters, they probably played it up but this guy played a real jerk, if they had a yogi there and they got that guy chilled the fuck out they would have been happier

I was fresh off the urban survival experience and watching the colony season, I wanted to put myself through that, the experience of deprivation, like a full time drill, I was on extremely tight budget, I was very very very poor financially, that was part of the drill, it made it all work

she was brought down to my level even though she owned property, the cost of heating that place, the water bill, commuting, family expenses, it was stress inducing, so for me to be able to come in there with very sophisticated simple and elegant techniques for living frugality, eating sprouts every night, and what I called ben feed, own trail mix, not paleo and bad for teeth and gut though, thought it was great that was no added sugar, but too much carb and dried fruit sugar, so not the best wisdom at that stage, but able to subsist

sprouting grains and legumes make them healthier, less toxic, less carbs

so between fresh chicken eggs every morning, fresh greens and herbs eventually fruits and some berries

I pretty much brought sustenance to her from my humble 5 gallon buckets and mylar bags, I was nourishing her and providing for her and at that everyday it was like farm boy fetch me a bowl of sprouts, as you wish

it led to a moment where she was commiserating with a couple of fellow elder priestesses about her empty love life, and I walk by them, when they saw me and they heard her talking about her woes, they said that’s your man, he’s right here on your doorstep

when we sat together and talked love the first time, I said, something to the effect that I’m like a reference book at the library, you have to share me

another thing she said was that she did test me though, there was an epic project that had to be and I knocked it out for her, and that was part of it too

also she said she fell in love with me when she saw me leading a group of other men repairing her teepee,

she seemed to have been sniffing out the alpha pheromone, though I’m not overtly alpha in terms of being agro or competitive

I felt it for her and she felt it for me, and it was negotiated to be openish, we had a sacred contract ultimately for a period of months of monogamy

we were successful, she was the sales and marketing and spokes model and I was the inventor, builder, introverted, designer, not people person

she was extraverted, our videos still exist where you can see how charming she is

it was the peak of our romance and success together, me building my wares and her selling them, legally registered by new cottage food law

cottage food paradigm shift

we were one of the first, we were rockin, had permaculture workshops, I was in the process of starting an officially recognized permaculture design course with a novel at-your-own-pace format for low income people

we had meet ups, workshops, other instructors coming in, weddings, we sold 150 amaranth seedlings to a wedding production as wedding gifts to all the attendees, can’t imagine how prolific those plants have been, amaranth is my spirit plant

glorious achievements, romance novel come to life

we started going to classes at that survival equipment store, I got my first aid training there, we went there together

we also did the cert training at the local fire station together

we were getting into tactical permaculture, vision of creating seed pellets to be used in airsoft guns so that you would know by what was planted where the kill zones were, better avoid where all the wild flowers were clustered

we had a legitimate, top tier tactical training marksman involved with the project, we started to draft out the ultimately survival permaculture tactical theme park design, motes, edible perimeter defense like sugar cane, blackberries, imagine stick fighting training with sugar cane, or chewing on your night stick while being a warrior defending your goddess temple community, sugar cane staff, for a bit of extra blood sugar if you need to run or fight, imagination runing wild, but it was starting to happen, archery, martial arts training gear, kicking post in the office, talk about warrior goddess temple, permaculture goddess temple, the whole 9 yards, a lot of people have beautiful memories of the time as well, it was epic

so we had started to work with the survival store, and one of our sex magic rituals yielded the mascot of the brand I had established years ago

she had to reel me in and tone done my zombie apocalypse rhetoric, she advised some re-edits on my basic preparedness manual to take out the zombie talk, smoothed out the edges so she could see to other high class soccer moms

I rebranded a more family friendly business card, and the survival store had the business card on their bulletin board, her handy work of getting the business card out to people

so the Joan River’s production crew searched for survival training, found the store, went there and asked if they do home consulting/installation, I believe they said no, but oh here’s this business card from those nice friendly homesteader folks that shop here and trainer here, so they gave the production staff the business card

we got a call, I didn’t even know who Joan River’s was, I think she got the call, and she seemed keyed up, of course Joan has a big place in my heart since space balls, but I didn’t know her name

she was like hey they want to pay us to do this thing on the show, there were some things they were pushing on that I thought would be poor representation, I was worried that we’d be made fun of, make a joke of, and my colleagues would tear me apart of I miss represented the art and science to the masses, preppers and permies can be pretty vicious in terms of political correctness, and one-upmanship, ego bullshit,

but I decided to go along with it, nothing was a huge violation of the principles and science, one thing I really didn’t like but let it slide

I don’t think I’ll burn in hell for selling out

the shoot went well, the chemistry was great, we lucked out, because it was 50/50 if we were gonna be the laughing stock, if you’re Joan Rivers’ laughing stock and she’s gonna bully you mercilessly with her lines, you’d have to have thick skin, I expected since were the crazy wingnut survival freaks, doing this backyard makeover

ultimately it worked out well, in our favor, because the whole series was that Joan had moved in with her daughter to drive her crazy and try to control her life with her humor and divaness, that was the premise of the whole show

it worked in our favor because Joan was authentically on board with us, she got it, she asked about our backgrounds, I said I’ve been a survivalist since I was on the street as a young teenager, saw dark things and had to learn to survive

and my partner grew up more holistic, ranch, rustic, agricultural life, farmer relatives, americana

we clicked so Joan even said you look good together, the most golden compliment you can ever get, what can’t you do if you can impress Joan river’s visually that was a huge compliment all thought one of her staff thought I was my partner’s son, lots of funny moments

they have a whole day of footage and only use a few minutes

so joan hires us to do the consultation and backyard make over and she’s thrilled and gung ho to have us appear to be tearing up the lawn, we’re going to be growing vines all over the place, build a chicken run, turn the pool into a living edible natural pond and fish farm, and so the great thing was that joan was totally on board with everything and stoked and gung ho, and the antagonism was with her daughter

the lines that joan said I couldn’t have paid her a trillion dollars to say, about when the shit hits the fan the neighbors are gonna be lined up down the block to get my eggs, we’re gonna be sustainable, and she was sincere, she was old enough to have a clue about self sufficiency and hard times

it was a beautiful experience, here we are now years later, 8 years later, no longer in that relationship, no longer on the property, I can only hope since we parted was in a pretty ugly meltdown, I love to hope we’d be able to not rekindle but reminisce on what was mostly good

it was pretty acute collapse at the very end after wild success in love and business and the sky being the limit, if what we did for joan rivers was good enough for her even as a joke that’s a pretty good endorsement, we did we teach for the local government emergency committees

got a business loan, we had a mascot, a brand, we were selling buckets of survival food, sprouting kits, trainings, its damn shame, it all comes down to monogapathic behavior, she could follow the letters of our agreement which gave me freedom to be a healer

I told her I was gonna be a yoni worshiper and healer and that’s my path and training before we met, and you’re gonna have to come to terms with that, it doesn’t mean that I’m even that I’m having sex with anyone I may be touching people they may be touching me, that’s where I really fine tuned my deal with women, looking at what are the actually permanent irreversible risks to having an open relationship, incurable stis, sexually transmitted infections, that’s the only permanent way of affecting negatively a primary partner that you have, you’ll heal a broken heart, you’ll get over feeling upstaged and deprioritized, if there’s longevity and strength and security in the relationship, everything else that’s emotional you’ll heal from even it seems so traumatic, what you can’t escape from is incurable stis, to me I say, my deal is like look what we have to design around is that one thing and we can have our hearts open as wide as we want, and our legs spread and our pants off, to the world of everyone else, as long as we understand and acknowledge that how much faith do we really place in just using condoms, do we have boundaries around outercourse, or dry sex, or non fluid bonded sex, there’s ways to intelligently avoid the risk of stis, I know this breaks some hearts, and there were times when I was not willing to reciprocate this in my younger life, but by then I had realized the beauty and the nourishment of a diverse sexual, romantic, and sensual cornucopia of lovers, and patients and clients for healing, and friends, and the idea that would sacrifice all of that to keep one person from losing their mind, it was a horrific melt down of her feeling like she was losing me and losing control of me, I take full responsibility for what I did that was inappropriate, immature, not of high moral character in the process of how this went down,

we would still be friends, we would still together I would still be on that land, still be taking care of the trees I planted, all the life I brought to that land, I would still be stewarding that and would still be in her words the man of the land and we’d still be living happily ever after

I was showing her through my permitted actions what I needed to be happy, fulfilled, and doing my dharma

it came down to one moment that really shifted for me when I started to really branch out, it wasn’t because I was bored with her or sick of her

there was a video that was shot, my experience of modeling for a camera to do tantric session work with a total stranger to me in that day, when I saw myself in that footage, I’m not vane at all I have the least vanity about my appears, I feel unphotogenic, and as JS said, I have a face made for radio,

its not just oh im shy about it, I really break the lens from a lot of angles and I know that, I design my content with that in mind, its not like oh I need to be a star now but when I saw the video, tantra for couples using the five sense

I saw the energy, the level of focus, such a fan of Jean Claude Van Damme, loved his controlled, metered, measured, self contained manner, from spiritual practice and martial arts practice, the refined shiva healing energy you could see it in the grace of my movements

I may not be a 10 on the surface, with big muscles, perfect teeth, perfect smile, photogenic, a-list actor material, that didn’t matter, I could consider myself a 6 on the surface and what was beneath the surface was resonating and emanating so beautifully to my soul, I can really do this work and have it be really compelling, this really does confirm that this is my calling and my path, and remain open

I’ve never cheated, I’ve prenegotiated or precommunicated my intentions, ended one relationship before having sex with a new person, I’ve cheated emotionally if you want to use that dirty word that id on’t like at all, I’ve indulged myself in pleasures with other people emotionally that I didn’t communicate or invite my current primary partner to be a part of and for them to wonder about that was painful for them, still not technically a cheater, I have not hooked up with someone and had sexual intercourse with them without previously ended the relationship before them, I have that gold star on my shoulder for not being a cheater,

but she was not gonna go by the original agreements that we had even though I was not willing to renew the sacred contract, she could have had her take and ate it too, it was just really sad, if she would have been able to share tiny slices of the cake with the understanding that I would not be jeopardizing her health, and that I could have the discipline either not to do anything that could involve transmission of stis, or have barriers, or have testing done, there’s just so many ways that you can navigate that one ultimate deal breaker and there was just no negotiation whatsoever, so it melted down in a very rapid and ugly manner, maybe some day she’ll be on the podcast to ball break me back on that

it was a power couple par excellence, we were doing business together, living together happily, it was really tragic and sad that that happened, I guess this was the time for that story to come out, its relevant to current events because that was the peak of me teaching survival and preparedness, obviously I haven’t stopped living that way since I left, I’ve always maintained ample food, water supplies, first aid, kept healthy and fit, glued to the news, evacuation routes, positioned advantageous in terms of zombies, my career path collapsed losing that space, I still sold some supplies and kits, it really stopped when I had the sexual shamanic spiritual emergency, all that is to say it’s been 8 years since I was at that peak and I have done my solo survival, haven’t been imposing it on people either, roomates, that don’t give a fuck thinks you’re paranoid, every prepper knows what that feels like, family, co-workers, getting people on board its painful for everybody, and it takes those moments of oh there was an earthquake oh shit who do we call, now its time to take him seriously

it’s like you’re crazy paranoid prepper until one moment when the lights go out or there’s a tremor then I’m the savor, whatever, honestly we are like ambulance chasers, its like oh now you’re ready okay what do you have to put on the table, how much money will you put towards buffering this for next time, because it could be the next one big time

so anyone paying attention to the coronavirus outbreak, it will have an official name soon, exposing corruption in government response, digital quarantines, limited by gps, apocalypse 2.0 its crazy, studying this, trying to be ahead of it, maybe I’ll be one of the first to go, you never know, you could be the strongest person, with muscle, and twist an ankle and die in 3 minutes without air, 3 hours without shelter, 3 days without water, 3 weeks without food, 3 months without love

those are your enemies and that is the battlefield, those time frames of conditions that can kill you so I could go at any time, all of my preps could be nullified by anything

but I have done my homework and due diligence, to have a clue and be woke about this stuff

now is the time for people who are having that acute moment of waking up to the vulnerability and all of our taken for granted, normalcy bias, it can’t happen to me

still cognitive dissonance around this virus, I don’t have the medical knowledge to have a strong opinion or a lot of facts to back up any claims about how scared anyone should be where ever they are, I know the places in the world where this is being taken very seriously, that is the sci apcalyptic experience, where everything that preppers do to be ready to either quarantine themselves, or escape the quarantine but do it ethically and go somewhere where you will be ethically quarantining yourself, but to be rounded up in camps is the preppers last, that is the ultimate thing to avoid, you’re subject to rape, search and seizure, being exposed to the virus, exposed to risk of incarceration if you resist or don’t comply, state’s measures are very corrupt

chinese doctor tried to alarm officials of the virus, is now dead of the virus, and was forced by police to sign some fake confession that he was fraudulently alarming the public

there’s been all kinds of fuckery in every country around these kinds of things

I’m not telling anyone to panic, it’s just for me, the modifications that I will make to my lifestyle are pretty minimal because I try to stay away from crowds anyway, I try to do more fist bumps than hand shakes, and when I hear some body snivel or cough I got into a controlled, germaphobic, hypochondriac high alert mode, of don’t touch your face, you can scratch your eye with your knuckle, your knuckle doesn’t touch door knobs, and when you cough and sneeze you can do it in your elbow

I’m not giving medical advice, for myself I look at this and go okay this is cycle of opportunity for me to preach and teach about basic preparedness, I guess what I will do to not be too heavy handed, I’ll put a link in the show notes to the podcast episode I did where I read that basic preparedness manual that has pretty much all of the fundamental procedural building blocks of how you can be better prepared for anything, when the shit hit’s your fan , not the fan

job loss, injury, cut off from income, its not just end of the world event that’s going to force you to institute your procedure and protocols for preparedness It could be something simple

it’s not gonna become the zombie apocalypse show, but it’s the right time to tell that story, so many mythical moments, I loved that woman, I loved that land, for a farm boy like me, that’s as good as it gets, it’s a damn shame the way it went down, but if I’m 80 years old in rocking chair and people ask me what some of the peaks of my life were, I’ll be like well, I’ll tell you story next time there’s a little tiny earthquake that makes you want to prepare for the next one, or next time there’s an outbreak I ‘ve got a story for you, this will be the story I tell

survival and preparedness getting back to the land it can be romantic it can be beautiful it can only get more polyamorous, it can only get less monogapathic, but for all intents and purposes if it was good enough for joan rivers, hopefully what I’m saying is good enough for you, to want to say yeah, what am I gonna wipe my ass with if there’s not a sycamore tree near by and I’m out of toilet paper, how am I going to look at ways to improve and enhance the number of gallons of water that I’m storing on site because a gallon per person for day is a low estimate of what you’d want to have if you were cut off from the main, or the main supply is contaminated, I think it’s worth it to take this moment to really figure out what strategies you may need to have in place

if martial law at any scale or you could just by happenstance, they’re quarantining people now all over the world, different directness of exposure to this virus, for all I know, for all you know, we could find out tomorrow that you were in a place where somebody had a confirmed case, then you’d get a knock on your door, and get taken away, don’t quote me, I’m not making official public service announcements, I take this very seriously, I ain’t going out like that if I can help

like everything else, it too shall pass, but even if it doesn’t graze your life and doesn’t put a dent in your routine, it’s a moment to commemorate

how often do you put yourself through the meditation of lights out, food supply cut off, income cut off, possibly being injured, possibly being infected, being affected by a war zone, unexpected disruptions in all that you take for granted on a daily basis

if you meditate on the vedic pantheon, you should also meditate on shitting hitting the fan, and shit hitting your fan

there was a guy who was the closest thing to a purple breathing hippie yoga master tantric on the survival podcast

there’s an anti-woo-woo bias, as you can imagine by the more conservative, libertarian, and to some extent more christian ranks of the survival movement, yet there is this interesting interplay of the bush hippie and jar head, the bromance, I’m in that dance

but there was this hardcore survivalist prepper yogi on the survival podcast, I’ll be reaching out to that guy

this coronavirus is a catalyst to do your drills, check your inventory, audit your physical preps and your plans, your protocols and procedures, and just be ready for things to get possibly worse, because of this virus or any other viruses, this is just another not so friendly reminder, goddess bless all the souls who’ve already passed from this virus, and let’s do our best not to join them in the big fema camp in the sky

namaste

Daily Podcasting As a Path of Liberation from the Rat Race TPP234

Play

Tree Kissing

In this episode I announce my intention to publish daily podcasts!

Here are my (non-verbatim) notes:

Daily podcast intended for years

all in divine timing, probably is

when I first had the idea to do almost daily podcast, look back at who I was, maturity level, wasn’t that long ago, but at this moment I feel more refined and more comfortable with what I intend to represent, what I have been digesting and composting and pruning in terms of my ego and aspirations

a few years from now I’ll look back and say I should have waited til I was more mature, but the genie is out of the bottle now

the survival podcast, started listening sub 100 episodes, was able to binge all the way to the beginning, my beloved at the time, we kind of eloped together, without getting married actually, but moving in together living together, a little over 10 years ago now

both had been punk but we not preppers, squatters, travelers, train hoppers to some extent, that was the vibe, mad max, radical self sufficient, traveling crusters, by whatever mode of travel had to become very cunning resourceful urban survivalists, survivalists in own right as traveling punks, in different manners throughout our youth

I remember it clearly now, giving the history of what led up to why the daily podcast is the right to do, a million reasons I could tell myself this is not the right thing to do, I’ll put my foot in my mouth, but I’m not gonna listen to the voice of fear

we lived together, tried to break out of the punk ghetto, she was more successful than me, the women I love and make love to are often more successful than me, it’s been the case, and it’s been humbly, so we were living together we were surviving together, in some ways thriving

but undertaking for her to uproot to live with me in so cal, that was really, one of those things you do in your 20s kinda thing, hopefully, not to say that that’s wrong, but…

her dad’s thesis on his daughter having “fuck you money” to be able to leave a toxic relationship, family wisdom, any circumstance where you need to “bug out”

she made much more money than that $500 fuck you budget money, but we did talk about that, the relationship was a project to practice loving arts, it was an open relationship, had some beautiful moments where that was expressed

it was a beautiful time, a blissfully ignorant and painfully ignorant time

she was slightly tortured by my obsession with the survival podcast which is just the most, bitter sweet thing sometimes, but mostly sweet but sometimes bitter sweet

she was into my enthusiasm for getting more deeply into our prepping strategies, that was the time of the financial collapse, I remember the moment I went on line to find a survival podcast, news stories about successful upper middle class families, murder suicide pacts of parents to killselves and children because of threat of losing their house and their comfortable life style, stories like this every, horrific, extreme madness and violence around losing this ill-gotten homes, I’m not a scholar on it, I just remember the feeling at the time, didnt have a clue about the financial bullshit going on, but on the news headlines like that, but one story that got me searching for survival, there was a family who had a mini van that they did their commuting in and someone had cut the fuel line, ciphoned the gas out of the tank, the next day the family turn on the car and it blew up and they all died, that struck fear into my heart and that was 4 years before 2012, I was into the time wave, terrence mckenna

feelings of helplessness and foolishness around survival strategies, this is how apocalyptic it was, I remember the gas prices, everyone remembers that, its fuckin mad max, that was what the whole premise was based on or, go-juice I think that’s what dennis hopper called it water world, I could be wrong, or incorrect, hahah

long story long, when I felt that way I searched for a podcast on survival, I found a few that seem to have faded out or weren’t that great, then I found the survival podcast, the best, daily episodes, his marketing strategy as a professional marketer was that in order to a part of people’s rhythm in life you wan tto be there on a daily basis, be there while they’re at the gym, commuting, doing the dishes, doing a hobby if you can entertain and educate, and be consistent, he’s one of the few people who made it a daily exercise, he suffered greatly, sleep was sacrificed to a degree, there was a lot of road rage involved, that was over 10 years ago, so I’ve been what they call a tsp-er, for all these years, I for damn sure someday better have something to show for it, with all due respect to myself, there have been times where I felt like was an exemplary student of the podcast, given the resources I had, playing the game of actually implementing the reasonable practical and no excuse, doing everything by the book according to a methodology that he synthesized from service in the military, corporate executive, entrepreneur, understanding procedures and protocols, how to be taught, how to teach, really effectively instill very practical skills and philosophies into people in a very efficient manner, very effective

anyone who listens to the podcast in their hearts wants to look in the mirror and say to yourself, want to know subconsciously that I’m not half assing the very critically important reasonable balanced, sane rational obligatory fundamental basic of really being an adult if you want a look at it, being a survivalist is being an adult, I could paraphrase, I don’t want to get into the beloved modern survival philosophies right now, I just want to pay that homage, his daily podcast has been a part of my daily life for over a decade, we want to say I’m not half assing the instructions i’ve been given, to me it’s the heart and soul of divine masculinity without the pretense of the new-ageyness

so he also did a side series all about how to launch your own business and build your own brand, getting established so that you can start to build your crypto currency portfolio, get out of debt, make wise purchasing decisions, get financially savvy, ultimately get access to land where you can really develop your survival retreat or your bug out location, all along having your bug out vehicle, your bug out bag, being prepared to bug in or shelter in place

I’m feeling back in to that time when I started listening every fuckin day, that as a daily spiritual practice, and without being woo-woo, he may not have said this world but ritual, ritual and routine is semantic, tony robbins talks about rituals

there’s a couple other daily podcasts I listen to, mostly its been his, almost every other podcast I listen to which is a lot has been weekly, some maybe twice a week, but most weekly, that’s a good rhythm, but there’s something magical that happens that he tapped into

having so many episodes so well documented with meticulous show notes to where everything is searchable

I don’t think you have too much, just continue to add layers of complexity and depth

gift of gab, and explore the possibility of having enough love from your devotees of listeners that they could help crowd source your liberation from working for the man, you quit your day job, making this your daily contribution to the world, knowing it’s changing lives, saving lives

if you have the ability to be a thought leader, that doesn’t capture it for me, I would say podcast shaman that’s what I feel like he and other folks have done, medicine people, bringing the medicine through this format, different types not claiming necessarily to be that, but effectively being that, the better way is to no call yourself a shaman but to be called a shaman

thinking back to playing it every day with my beloved, I would put a laptop in the car and play it from the laptop so we could both hear it on the way to where I dropped her off then split off

we both derived value, we made a video, a friend of ours going to college for photo journalism class, one of the assignments was to create a small photo journal book, she asked to document my current project, so have have a video and photo journal documentary of our emergency evacuation drill, depicts all of the prepping strategies we had cultivated

we wanted to do a bug out drill where we did every part of a multi page checklist, bug out to secret mountainous retreat location, wild edibles, fresh water, shelter, and sweet spot safe from crazies, cops, yuppies, and the gangsters, those are what you gotta watch out for

we had it figured out, where we were gonna go if shit hits the fan, what we were gonna take, how much water, checklists like unplugging everything from our warehouse artist loft

we wanted to our drill, wanted to test it, a lot of people just buy prepping gear, they don’t test it they don’t use it, they don’t force themselves to rely on it, for me and her for each other, our survival podcast early day’s graduation, it was a class project, completely ungraded, unacknowledged class project, I think that’s what a lot of people do when they fall in love with a podcast and receive guidance

we documented It, the story of the shit hitting our fan so to speak, in terms of the apocalypse and collapse of relationship in it’s localized form, we’re still lovers but in a different way, not sure if she kept listening to the podcast every day, but she appreciated it and she loved me and she loved the empowerment of what we were doing, but I stuck with it and I feel like being unsuccessful is not an option, being continously more successful and more intelligently successful, if I say to any other tsp-er that I’ve been listening for that many years, they’re gonna expect a lot from me, not just a cult or a club or an ego thing, it’s really like, you have no fuckin excuse to be ignorant of so many things that are critical to being an adult in growing the fuck up and being a grown ass man in this world.

And you’re not gonna get that from a weekend retreat of any kind, there’s more there, I should do the service, not the disservice to say is that tsp is a daily podcast that a for over a decade, it’s a living permaculture design in action

the point I’m trying to make is that, its beyond one male ego, it’s beyond himself, it is the skillful integration of the collective wisdom of an entire global nation, a global tribe, of people who are skilled in all the areas you’d want to be autonomous, self sufficient, self reliant, anti fragile

not trying to be an informercial for that podcast, just an opportunity to go down memory lane, to remind myself if I have something to say and feel its important, and not just be me but interview other people, and create a pantheon, of not just thought leaders but people who are really deep and really sincere, on point on a level where they’re ready to give back and ready to up level other people based on what they’ve accomplished, so compounding, so much value in the way that you can elegantly leverage for the benefit of everyone’s coming up in this world, take that sampling of people who are on point with what they’re doing and just keep that going, the magic of the daily ritual, the routine, the magic of a daily podcast that is quality, increasing because no body starts out sounding perfect, that can always evolve, what matters is the soul of the solo episode monologue, the soul of the interview, the soul of the round table, you can feel that

its almost a cliché that to be a podcaster doesn’t mean that you’re broke in your career, it just means it’s a labor of love

it’s not a side effect of tsp daily podcast that he was able to make his incoming be primarily based on the fruits of a daily podcast, very few people have achieved that

she shows how to do this and be successful financially, not just pat yourself on the back and not make a penny, you don’t have to reverse engineer it you can just engineer it because he wrote the fucking manual on it and gave it away for free

he laid out meticulous specifications for his success

so I’m going to, from now on, make some sacrifices and do my best to consistent at higher frequency of publishing content

I’m gonna have to be more diplomatic, I don’t want to be a people pleaser, I don’t everyone to be a bubble person, in terms of not having thick skin, I don’t want to be afraid to offend people, I don’t want to walk on egg shells, but there’s a level of diplomacy that I want to maintain

you mask your authenticity when you behave in a diplomatic manner when you behave towards a plurality of very extreme people in extreme circumstances, I will have to listen back, and edit what comes out of my mouth

its an undertaking, again 5 years from now I’ll probably be kicking myself

but hopefully that 5 years from now I’ll not be working or commuting for anybody else, I’ll be developing my own homestead as he has, I’m a pretty extreme frugal minimalist, and I’ve dialed myself in to a point where all of my endeavors financially can scale, based on an elegant design that has taken years to develop, starting to get traction and really compound, and I have implemented the modern survival philosophy and practicum at various scales and I just want to be a good student, that’s a fair balance aspiration and it goes back to me getting straight a’s in college, wasn’t always my academic attitude, but when I loved a teacher I wanted to show them my respect by implementing full assed what their hard earned wisdom bestowed upon me

and this isn’t my first podcast, at least two before

if you build it they will come, if you can garden that audience, build a brand, provide quality content, or fade out and quit and don’t succeed, right now I’m at a point where I owe it to myself after all these years, lets just say, like they do with the 12 step program, 1 day at a time, one chip at a time, build on your successes

when I was given my tantric devi sadana, daily mantra assignment from my modernish guru, you have to say it for a minimum of 40 days every day, dont expect results right away but do it and be disciplined with it, and study the results, so I think it’s worthwhile at this point to study the results of accelerating the release schedule of the podcast

and I have an important announcement that I’m keeping secret for the moment, it will be days or weeks but not months before I make the announcement that gives context for why the daily podcast will be happening

I’ll just withhold for now, I’m gonna have continence of the mouth, I’m going to practice word retention

its pretty much a 100% certainty, a very exciting announcement will be made very shortly, and there will be a million times more value and more enrichment and enchantment to this podcast happening on an almost daily basis maybe for a month, a year, may be indefinitely but the context is about to get so much better, not just the audio quality but that is a factor

I don’t want to give it away so I’m just gonna leave it at that

so I guess I will ask you to wish me love and ask you to step up and let me know if there are topics that you’d like to have covered, if they’re questions that you have, I’m going to be begging for folks to load me up with more material for segments, there are a number of segments that I have been collecting, I’ve got spreadsheets with a ridiculous amount of material that’s been boiling over to create daily segments, massive database, I’ll be kind of working through that, things like tantric world news, I’ve been collecting that stuff, and just because of my lack of prioritization of a daily podcast it becomes old news, piling up headlines, but I’ve got it all there, still think that’s important to be brought up to speed, that can be a segment, eventually people contributing to it, and also who knows I am of the generation of Wayne’s World and they had all kinds of segments that made it more charming and endearing, where you get more excited about the parts you love the most, it could be more commentary before and after an interview, if take that leap of faith to really religiously moon light this podcast on a daily basis to where it begins to eclipse the revenue coming in from other less desirable but still honorable sources of revenue, then, the craft as a daily grind that’s elegant, and very sustainable, its gonna get to really evolve and develop and deepen and I may be more ready for this 5 years from now, because I will have matured more and refined more, but I feel like this is the year to not hold back, and if you’re gonna get off the boat you better go all the way, kinda thing

give myself permission to not be so shy, another spirit I will invoke, jack burton of the pork chop express, kurt russell in big trouble in little china, which is one of the most influential sci fi fantasy east asian martial arts odysseys of spirituality, cosmology, and mythology, profound film disguised as a campy comedy, one of the many magical endearing things, the pork chop express, kurt russell with cb radio doing a proto podcast not knowing who he was talking to, probably had people chiming in, just driving, philosophizing, expounding, processing , of course you have that guy in my development, you have of even greater gravitas was pump up the volume and christian slater, I was profoundly moved by pump up the volume where he’s a punk rock pirate radio dj, where he was on every night, either for 5 minutes or 5 hours, now in 2020 you don’t need to be doing pirate radio, and you don’t have to be truck driver on your cb radio, you can be a globally distributed mp3 based, another beautiful thing about the open internet, sure I could be deplatformed, black holed, by the centralized platforms, but I can still spin up a server and crank out an rss feed so that anyone in a decentralized, anarchic, free and open source manner, using protocols free and open to all, a podcast is resilient, and can survive the iron grip of centralized platforms, deplatforming people for whatever reason, that’s one reason why I deleted apps, a number of other things

in the spirit of going dark or at least stepping away, not to insult or judge anybody, or to impugn I’ll be diplomatic, I don’t want to impugn any platform or service, that I’ve used, but there is a quintessential ancient tantric resonance with the idea that okay, here’s me, I’m in my fucking cave, singing my mantras, spouting my rhetoric, with my version of the scriptures, and my interpretation and life experience at a certain point, if I’m just in my cave holding my ceremonies and my satsangs and inviting my friends, its not exclusive, but it’s not imposing on other people so much, it’s not putting it people’s faces, there’s a grace in getting to a point where I’m content if people listen, I’m content if people don’t listen, I’m not discontent if people don’t listen, I’m in that state where I don’t feel its appropriate to spam people, or just over saturate people in the more benign sense or hype people, there’s certain grace, maybe people will say hey shut up you’re podcasting too much, but I’m not gonna be cluttering your social media feeds, if I’m in your feeds its because you shared my content or someone shared it with you but it’s not gonna be because I said hey look at me, give me free attention, I will just be here in my cyber himalayan tantric cave, and ocassionaly having fun with some consorts in that cave, and kissing and telling, and just doing my thing, I’m not gonna inappropriately be trying to bend the terms and conditions of platforms that don’t want adult content of any kind to be present, I’m gonna respect that, I’m going to excuse myself, here’s the explicit tag and take it or leave it, share it or don’t share it

getting back to the roots of internet marketing, and permaculture, here’s a nugget, perennial vegetables, perennial plant stock that produces yields year after year with one planting, and will outlive you in a lot of cases and will require multi generation stewardship, that’s perennial design, permanent culture, permanent agriculture, framework of perennial supporting the annuals, and everything in between, quite a bit of diversity in that range

for content do I want to be creating posts that don’t even get indexed by search engines, I’m I gonna have anxiety when my posts don’t keep up with the jones’ of other people’s posts? That process is seriously demoralizing and depleting and it’s not scaleable, Gary Collins another podcast guru of mine, who talks about basically digitally detoxed from that social media rat race and have it be the best decision ever made, to focus on what he’s doing, and share that, do minimal promotion as needed, not be a slave to it, paraphrasing, feeling into that wisdom, it’s not just luddism, it’s becoming a life and death things, for children it already is, how your brain is gonna be wired, compulsions, addictions to a device, I destroyed all of that, I’m not even addicted to my crypto portfolio app, I’m free from the addiction and a lot of people are not, just talking about me, my sense of things, my experience, I lived it, it tore me up, I made some impact, I had some numbers of 100s of 1000s of this and that, but I was sick of being a slave to the maintenance of it and I feel it it was not scaleable

so there you have it, I will not be imposing it, I’ll be doing it daily as a ritual and do my best to maintain high quality of audio, guests, segments, and see where that takes me, as long as possible

I will fell it, I won’t say I’ll feel bad, stressed, or beat myself up, but I’ll feel it if I miss a day, because what was happening on that day that was so important that I couldn’t take the time to do this, I mean I feel like I could be having the best fucking sex and best day of my life in the most beautiful place in the world or having the greatest trip or the greatest trippiest sex in the greatest place in the world and I should at least be able to record a podcast and release it the day after as long as I have a connection

wish me luck, and stay connected, course correct me if I get out of line, I’m very open to feedback, where it’s the first episode you’ve listened to or one of quite a number, I appreciate you and don’t be a stranger, don’t be a stranger

if you want to connect, you’re invited to connect, whether to be a guest, or submit content for review, or even record a segment, you could record a question and send it in, but why not record a segment, this is a big tent, I want to be between playboy magazine and howard stern, diversity of topics, if I could be the tantric feminist howard stern I think the world would be an even better place than it already is, a bit of george carlin thrown in there if I can dare to come to his knees with wit and humor and satire and radicalism, but if you have something that you have studied or researched or your own story and you don’t feel comfortable to be interviewed, if you don’t have your website, links, bio photo, whatever else it takes to feel qualified, you could be anonymous, you could be pseudononymous, you be satoshi nakamoto and just send me anything you want that contributes value and is pure hearted an in alignment, definitely want to just open it up and there will be plenty of space for you to occupy at whatever level that you desire, so by all means, step up, and let’s grow together, namaste

 

The Sacred Sexual Healing Path of Gay Tantra Teacher Brad Amberheart TPP233

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Brad Amberheart Pic

In this episode I’m joined by Brad Amberheart

My new gay tantra hero has joined me for a deep exploration of all things gay and tantra. He takes us on a journey through his journey, a cinematic adventure behind the veil and into the inner sanctum of a magical priest of love. I felt lifted out-of-body and into the clouds while experiencing his eloquent narrative of personal evolution, healing, empowerment, transformation, and transcendence.  I was in the perfect mood to shove off the shore of normal waking consciousness to dance within the erotic consciousness of Brad’s historic evolutionary path towards bigger and bigger love.

About Brad:

Brad Amberheart is a Tantric sex coach and erotic workshop facilitator who works primarily with gay men. His primary passion is working 1-on-1 with men who are ready to explore erotic ecstasy as a pathway to a higher understanding of who we are and why we’re here. Brad has also led transformational erotic rituals at international Tantra festivals for people of all genders, including the Hawaii Tantra Festival and the Tantra Love Fest in Glastonbury, UK. Between 2017 and 2020, he wrote more than 120 concepts for conscious evolutionary Gay Sex videos and worked on 7 gay erotic film sets to coach male erotic models in how to convey a deeper sense of heightened sexual freedom and expression on camera. His latest endeavor, as of January 2020, is the launch of his podcast series, Gay Tantra, which is the first podcast series in the world devoted fully to the experiential practice of Tantra, Sexual Magic, and Erotic Mysticism for men who have sex with men. To listen to his podcast, watch his gay erotic videos, or book a Tantric Sex coaching session in person or via video conferencing, please visit bradamberheart.com

 

My (not verbatim) show notes: 

Tantric sex coach, erotic workshop facilitator for gay men, host of gay tantra podcast

Gratitude to tantrapunk podcast for invitation, a month ago, searching for gay tantra podcasts, closest that came up was tantra punk because of interviews with Jason Tantra and others, listened to quite a few podcasts, deeply touched by transcendental eroticism, self pleasuring that encouraged men to cherish our own bodies, and use orgasm for healing

right when just about to contact tantra punk, I got an email we found one another at the same time

sitting in same bedroom in grandmother’s house, live in western north carolina, talking today from home of ancestors, family lived for 5 generations, same cedar tree I decorated with lights over the holidays that was my height when I was twelve, now the same age as me, gigantic cedar tree that I can go in and hide and masturbate if I want to, right in the front yard, I think that’s a good frame work for what I’m about to tell you

grew up in very conservative religious background, lucky enough to have parents that were open sexually, even though 70s, father was deeply wounded emotionally and spiritually by the Vietnam war, I came into a world of turmoil and chaos

parents thought sex was a very important part of life, educated to embrace sex and its beauty

went to church, encouraged to wait until marriage to engage sexually, parents didn’t subscribe to that

even though baptist church, it was quite moderate. The horror stories about fundamentalist religions weren’t a reality

always cared for, always loved

when got into high school, more than before, became problem child

asked questions you’re not supposed to ask

Jesus never got married, how old was he when he did, is there anything in the bible about him having sex with anyone, because you’re not supposed to have sex before marriage, does that mean that Jesus never got to do you want me to die a 33 year old virgin, nailed on a cross

pleaded with youth minister to talk, he looked at me with kind eyes, I feel like a lot of people are asking the questions you’re asking but you’re the only one with courage to ask, I wonder what Jesus’ sex life was like

he got married, after wedding we all looked with longing, maybe he’s getting some now

still what really impressive, miraculously I was not shunned, encouraged to explore curiosity

curiosity is a foundational root of what it means to be on a tantric path

heard of tantra first from sister, she said, have you ever heard that there’s certain guys in the world that instead of ejaculating, they use that energy for other things and have these trippy experiences

didn’t hear the word again for many years, didn’t have sex with anyone all the way from puberty until I was 22 years old, partly because of religious upbringing, and partly because of craving, longing, excitement related to men, attributed it to admiration

if I would see a hunky guy there was a certain excitement

also noticed going on dates with women, it was done from a place of attempting to please relatives, to convince them I was normal

greatest obsession was to study all day saturday, for international science fair, studied sun spots through a telescope every day, instead of having sex

while every body else was exploring sexuality if they were lucky, I was at the library, I was a total nerd

went to church every sunday, even when parents quit going, I was the spiritual leader of the family, always asked to say the prayer

what’s more relevant, I remained disconnected from other people sexually all through college

I was religious but at the same time rebellious

celebrate new years in florida with my cousin

I wonder what jesus’ sex life was life, I’m 22, I don’t really want to die a virgin

willing to find any woman who’d be willing to experiment with me

wasn’t able to find anyone that wanted to go to bed with me

story going on in my mind, maybe people who go to bed with people of same sex was because they couldn’t get in bed with someone of the same sex

the story I got about homosexuality was not pretty, not positive, not encouraging, it was scary

tantra, in retrospect, for all the years that I wasn’t having sex I was pursuing other passions and putting a lot of energy into really creative work

how did I ever get on a tantric path, all the times masturbated by myself, I was on a tantric path, I was harnessing my energy and putting into what I cared about even when I wasn’t having sex

learned how to take self into fits of excitement and ecstasy, at that age I ejaculated a lot, so I found every creative way to shoot my cum all over the place

I became my most devoted and delighted sex partner

I had a lot of fun by myself, didn’t know til in college, most guys masturbate with their hand

I actually found it much more pleasurable to fuck the bed, I would writhe and squirm all over soft sheets and make noises into the pillow, I loved ejaculating onto the sheets, didn’t realize that not everybody did that

cultivating an ecstatic whole body practice

when I did find a willing, exuberant, excited sex partner, the ecstasy I had been cultivating on my own 9 years, was over the top with another human being, on top of a wonderful man’s body in Alaska, marvelous orgasm after orgasm for hours, must have ejaculated 4 or 5 times, I was still 22, now looking back, years of whole body jack off fun by myself became the foundation for years of euphoric sexual bliss with other men

the tantric path made itself known to me, overtly around the year 2000, I was 26 years old, had been in a corporate job for several years, traveling back and forth to Siberia, environmental consult to gold mining companies, had no sex life

Still investing in what I really cared about, didn’t have sex partners other than self

sit in closet, get high smoking pot, get out a stack of porn mags, started to noticed even though all my porn mags had women in them, they also had men, loved to seeing men’s cum, loved seeing to men and woman together, undeniable theme

one night jacking of in the closet by myself and said, wow I live in a city of 100,000 people, there must be someone else out there who would love to do this with me right now

ventured out of closet, went to a bar, chatted up the cutest guys I could find and I had hours and hours and hours of mind blowing sex as often as I liked, if there had been any guilt or shame or trepidation, I took 9 years to get over it

when I came out the closet, I came out with flying colors

tantric path continued, something was happening that was not normal, not typical

I would be making love with a guy, no penetration with first 20 or 30 partners I enjoyed, always face to face body to body cock to cock lips to lips, over the top orgasmic, wasn’t any penetration but would find that, would allow self to completely lose myself, didn’t have to hold on to earthly reality, go flying, when I would come to, the men I would be with would be like, “dude I have neighbors”, what do you mean what do they have to do with anything, well you’re making a lot of noise man, what else would I do I’ve waited 9 years to enjoy this

they would enjoy it but they would try to shut me down

I hear this from friends when they make love with women, always concerned with how big it’s gonna be and how loud

at present moment I hold play parties for people of all genders, last play party, all of the noise that came out of my house was the screaming orgasms of women, didn’t hear men making any noise, windows were open, screams going through whole neighborhood

I told everybody in the beginning, it’s spring time its hot windows open, if you’re going to scream and orgasm, consider that a blessing to the people who live here, whatever you’re facing aim that energy into the earth, that it can bless this ground that has suffered so much for so many generations and so that the people near by can be blessed, consider the people on this continent that are hurting and let your waves reach those people

and I heard a lot of screaming from women, because, frankly I don’t know how many places in the world we have sanctuary to really allow that unstoppable orgasm to come out, I really feel it has frightened men for a long time, it frightened many of my sex partners early on

I had never been with anyone, I had only been with my ecstatic self, when nobody was home in my parents house, I was shouting hallelujah, I was screaming because it felt so fucking good, I didn’ tknow anything about holding it back

learned about body electric school in 1999, had been hearing more about this tantric thing

workshops where guys rubbed on one another’s cocks, and they would see colors, and visions , and maybe speak in tongues

room full of men would go into whole body orgasmic bliss but nobody ejaculated

it was really trendy in the 90s, a lot of people talked about it, wow I did it and I saw colors

I could travel back and forth in time, very different than what I was seeing in porn, to this day when I watch porn, still haven’t seen one that shows people having a transcendental experience, where they’re flying above the oceans and swimming with the dolphins while they make love

still waiting, when I make love I get to swim through oceans, I get to hear the whales, I get to smell the salt air, I get to travel through the world and its what I want for people to know more anything is that in addition to being a fuck load of fun to have sex, it’s also a vehicle that connects us to everything alive on the earth, and everything that ever has lived, no such thing as death, people that came before are here alive and we can visit with them, this is the potential of our sex, that I’m not hearing spoken about except out of my own mouth,

my tantra speaker spoke about it when I finally tantra, after the body electric school, where I went to workshops where men rubbed on each other’s cocks like a magic jenie bottle and transcendental experiences

when I was invited to my first tantra workshop I said well what is it, is it a tantra massage and he said no, it’s tantra

you mean tantra is different than massage, he said yeah it is

I went to this workshop in a log cabin, with some one to this day I consider to be one of the most authentic and resonant lineages of tantra that I have found, rudolph valentine

we do this tantra workshop in a log cabin, it’s hot, but there’s a pond and we bathe in a pond

it’s great we’ve done it lots of time, you should come, so I did

12 men there, all got naked, lined up on bank of pond, farm pond with frogs in it, every few minutes, hear them and nights sounds, crickets, we all line up, leader motions for us to take step forward, 12 men take a step into this pond with water up to our chest, remembered grandmother, I remembered her saying she was baptized in a pond, as soon as that thought came to me, the workshop leaders invited us to get into a circle, the two of them got into the center of the circle and they invited the first person to step in to the center of the circle, I thought are they really gonna do what I think they’re gonna do, I decided to go first, I stepped into the circle, one of them put his hand behind my head, the other held my hand, they both looked at me and I knew what was happening, they nodded as if to signal are you ready, I shook my head,i let out a wail, I stood in the middle of this pond with 9 men surrounding me, and two holding me in the center, and I wailed, I felt the sorrow and the disconnection of how I had been to be loved and cherished by a spiritual community and the pain of how it felt to be disconnected from your spiritual roots, in my heart I had a prayer that this time I would embark on a spiritual path that would hold everything that I am and allow me to be everything that I could be, and had room for every part of me, all of me the slut the priest, the father the son the man the woman everything in side of me the dark the light I wanted that path that could hold me, that was what tantra was, that was what tantra meant

I nodded, and they immersed me in the water and I had my second baptism, the first time was inside of a church when I was 6 years old inside of tank, they put you in this paper robe, and they bring you up out of the water and the whole church can see you all wet, with this paper clinging to your body

here I was in the pond, naked being baptized, this is the way to do it

moments in the workshop: looked at one of the teachers and said I’m so glad that I finally met my teacher, what do you mean, you’ve already had a teacher, what are you talking about, because you told me about the person that taught you everything, everything you already need to know about tantra was already taught to me, who was it, he said, your grandmother

my grandmother was a master at finding light in the darkness and master of turning obstacles into means, when I finally did meet my tantra teachers, 28 years after I first met my grandmother they told me the same things that she had, they were just the first to put it into words, my grandmother always had plenty when there was nothing, she had joy even when she lived in hell, she found heaven in hell, I’m sitting right now in the house that she lived and died in

my tantra teachers told me that tantra is the consummation of the inner marriage and while some of us look for a partner outside of ourselves to marry, most of us skip the essential step of finding that partner within ourselves first, I had a lot of time to practice that inner marriage, it’s a never ending relationship just like any marriage

shadow work, all of those pieces of ourselves that we think are ugly that we wouldn’t want others to know

its an instinct, there’s a part in us that isn’t always happy

part of us that feels angry, part of us that feels scared, there’s a part of us that feels enraptured, a part of us that feels enraged, the further we walk on the tantra path we’re prompted to see that there’s a place for all of this, to find the marriage of these opposites, the ultimate journey of what tantra really is all about

one more thing I want to add, I happen to be a gay man, I really love the word faggot, I embrace that word as part of my magic, and I happen to be a faggot who really loves to make love with women who love faggots, have had ecstatically joyful partners who were female, I had to embrace my delight and love of other men, before I could allow myself to be the complete faggot I am in bed with women

had precisely two maybe three ecstatic female lovers, they are female lovers that really love gay men,it’s really helped me to see the perfection that a lot of men who have sex almost exclusively with women, also have the complete right to enjoy sexual freedom with other men without necessarily having to put a label on it

visually when I look at women’s bodies, I can admire them I can appreciate the embodiment of the goddess and yet its way different, it’s not like a look at a woman and go I really want to have that right now, I really only objectify men

what happens with women, I approach it as an opportunity to commune with the divine, pathway that connects us with the divine, it no longer matters how old they are, how fat or thin they are, kinda fem or kinda butch, doesn’t matter what gender they are, if you’ve found source of your erotic expression in yourself and you love erotic expression for the pure excitement and sake of erotic expression it is possible to journey ecstatically and cathartically with a wide diversity of partners, some people ask me, how can you have sex with someone you’re not attracted to

one of my primary lovers is twice my age, I’m in my 40s, one of my lovers is in his 80s, we have some of the most transcendental experiences that I have with any partner, I make love with people not because of the way they look or how old they are, but authentically because I want to commune with the divine, I like to travel I like to transcend time and space, I get a lot of insight and guidance for what I’m gonna do with my life when I’m in that state, that’s why I make love

people say what type of person are you into, what type of person turns you on, I say a person who’s fuckin as excited as fuck to make love with me, that’s the kind that really turns me on, if they’re excited, I’m excited, if I’m excited they’re excited, there’s a resonance, that transcends appearance, age, social class all that bullshit

women, I’m really grateful for women because, making love with women was like, a later stage threshold that I crossed because that was when I really recognized, wow, I can have a transcendental erotic experience, and be a faggot with a person of any gender, I can, it can’t just be anyone, it has to be someone who knows we’re on a journey, and we’re connecting with something bigger than ourselves, if a woman just wants my dick its not gonna work, lots of time I don’t even get hard when I have sex, if I’m in a cathartic whole body state nobodies paying attention to how hard my dick is, that would be a liberating lesson if more men in the world were able to feel that the ability to connect ecstatically with the divine and another human being is completely independent of what they’re cock is doing, that’s radical

some of the most whole body orgasmic states I’ve ever experienced and witnessed were with people who’s cocks weren’t hard, don’t get me wrong I love hard dick AND there are a lot of ways to go into cathartic whole body ecstasy

homophobia…i barely use the word anymore, don’t often feel like I’m battling homophobia, which is a beautiful place to be

our world really does shift with the shift of our inner perception, the transformation of ourselves and planet using sexual pleasure, what I’m really asking of people to invite ourselves to consider that ecstatic sexual pleasure is available to far more of us than we’ve ever dreamed

we feel we need a partner of a certain type, in reality if we join with other partners who recognized that we have the opportunity to fly, to sail through the skies and the seas, experience realities beyond what we see, what meets the eye, we have the opportunity to go into multiple realities, the future on planet earth is that we’re going to see a world more filled with people who are excited about having sex with a variety of partners, less focused on getting hard, ejaculating, and fulfilling a whole checklist of what they think needs to be done to have great sex, and focusing more on oh my god, we have an energy field right now where if we introduce the faintest intention, that is going to manifest, as soon as we say it is done

10 years ago I spoke the impossible, I was in a native american ceremony with 100 queer people and I was asked why I came and I said I want to see the day when our people can fuck and enjoy the fuck out of each other and squirt our seed inside of one another and know we’re actually healing one another not killing one another

full on sexual delight was some how equated with death

I want our people to be able to share our medicine free from fear, healing each other not killing each other, I had no way of conceiving how that would be possible, today there are multiple opportunities for people to enjoy sexual pleasure with people of all genders like never before free from fear, a lot of people are using Prep, they’re taking something that allows them to free themselves from the acute anxiety that has for all too long accompanied them and their sex

not an advocate, or promoter, nor do I discourage people to use things things

the world has transformed, we have sex with each other for healing and health

its what brings us life

what’s coming up, the most exciting thing happening in my tantric path, is the gay tantra podcast

12/31/19 I issued the first episode, it was pretty hard core, it was a hard core sex scene, interspersed with sacred magic, to alert people that raunch, kink, and downright ass fucking is integrated with magic and health and healing, followed with talk with 8 other men, with how tantra relates to sex among men, created an exercise people can do

I’ve contributed to the creation of over 120 evolutionary gay erotic videos, all on my website:

bradamberheart.com

on the home page, I have links to the evolutionary gay erotic videos, gay tantra podcast, soon more links to upcoming events world wide

Jason Tantra and partner, created an app, that allows conscientious gay men who are exploring other realms of sexual magic and healing to meet each other, created at the same time as the gay tantra podcast, master of mind of universe created the gay tantra podcast and tantra4gaymen app at the same time

even if you’re not gay, you just occasionally like to suck dick, listen to the gay tantra podcast

event’s coming up, will be posted on website, announced on gay tantra

series I’m most excited about is a series that teaches people how to use , or harness their sexual pleasure as a tool to connect with higher sources of wisdom and information: transcendental sexuality

receive insight, new knowledge, and information

super excited some of the videos I created are still being edited

it’s a really evolutionary time to live on earth, it’s an evolutionary time for men who are exploring conscious sexuality with other men, unifications happening through colleagues, Jason Tantra, Davey Wavey, collaboration on videos

a network has been created that’s spanning the globe, super excited about gay tantra as a platform

each month an exercise as part of the series, free guided sexercises, more to come

Lab Report: Shaktification as Non-Invasive Demonectomy TPP232

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sexual-healing-with-psychedelic-goddess-worship In this episode I share a lab report from mid 2019 which documents an important break through in my sexual healing with psychedelic goddess worship research. The mixed and mastered version of the Psychedelic Goddess Worship track on the Sexorcism the Tantric Opera album proved to have powerful potentials to induce what I’m calling “shaktification as non-invasive demonectomy. My (non-verbatim) show notes are below.

Non invasive is used for surgeries, the body is not penetrated

Man cave, goddess temple lave, unclinical lab, produced an album to create the vibrational landscape for a non-invasive demonectomy on my self

multiple sessions, increasing doses’

could solve the problem of how do you induce a non-invasive demonectomy, that’s effective, unlike the techniques of the dominant paradigm of exorcism, the catholic church and their protocols

with an understanding, time does not heal, if untreated the infections only get worse and in the case of men, there’s a higher potential of survivor-perpetrators

for women, less likely to harm others, but will often harm themselves, that’s the handy work of the demons that were inserted into them in acts of abuse and molestation

demons express themselves in female survivors much less as sexual offense

in males, less divine feminine grace, cults of gang rape, women don’t usually form thug cults of rape

don’t know of any witches who are known to have done that

but men, gang up and bully runts on football team, and geeks in the classroom, they gang up and rape the cheerleaders, their so susceptible and when you get survivors in that mix, its that much more of a cascading effect

it should be axiomatic, if that infection doesn’t get disinfected immediately, than you are harboring, just like Geiger shows us, is the “face huggers”, that’s what he’s talking about, it’s all demons, their parasites, inject themselves into human host, sexual aliens, if there was a xxx Giger, that’s me, showing what’s going on

gotta figure out how to interrupt the larval cycle, to interrupt the propagation

some times sexual penetration is appropriate, however there are times when it’s not

there’s a magical power that flows through, the goddess kali shaki, and the magic mushroom, what I can demonstrate and have footage of, is capturing the rapid seizure like convulsions that occur with the shakti is invoked, not just shivers, not just normal kriyas, a controlled seizer

a presence of mind, it’s possible to surrender, but be prepared, yoga, martial arts, dancing, landscaping, know my body and have agility to phase in and out of possession states

not faking, not faking, not a parlor trick, not a magic trick, not putting on a show

I have the ability to shut it off, goddess has been earning trust from me so I can surrender more
use elbows to brace neck, stay ahead of the sense of more intense movements

set and setting for combat training, you could use padding, or train on the beach

design consciousness of low impact, the sand absorbs impact, avoiding pavement

expecting to trash around, expecting to be taken for a ride, do due diligence to be warmed up enough

not be in a contortion to snap their neck, people doing jiu jitsu, they’re aware of when they’re in danger, and maneuver out of it

gotta be bad ass ninja warriors

it’s possible, I’ve proven to myself, that adding more people is beneficial, but in the dilemma of when you can’t add anybody, what do you do, well this seems to be it, maybe not the only thing, but could be more effective than calling the local priest exorcist

they did the deeds themselves and now they’re gonna do the exorcism, you brought the demons you’re not taking them out

sexorcism that doesn’t involve any inappropriate touch or any touch at all

it happened to me to a degree never before experienced

it’s happened before, but not to this extent

she’s like an infinite array of octopoid, insectoid, she has the ability to move you in a lot of different ways

she’s going in and doing a demonic abortion

what she’s doing is what an abortion doctor would do

as sad and heartbreaking as it can be, that’s what goddess kali is doing the demons in the chakras, she’s sucking and pulling them out

these are fully formed, although I do see often that there are multiple life stages, there are hatchlings, old ones, etc. we don’t know how long they live

shamans probably have a clue, but we’re grasping in the dark, but that’s what’s happening

if you watch sexorcism the tantric opera where there’s a lot of hand laying on people, sometimes just the aura, it’s a lot of handy work, but what has been achieved to an extreme with me, is that with the track “psychedelic goddess worship” singing the mantras along with it, its raiding the demon nest, allowing kali to do the demonectomy, extracting these violent creatures, shifts in the amount of demonic load, measurable, this is like colonics

I think I made an important discovery, a hands off, solo, non-invasive demonectomy, you may want to try this yourself and go from no medicine, to cannabis low to high dose, then mushrooms low to high dose, and experiment with the music, looping the track psychedelic goddess worship in setting where you have people watching over you, and you’re surrounded by cushions, and you have martial arts/yoga background, be agile like a cat to prevent injury, if that’s you and you’re suffering and you’ve not found healing in toxic relationships, in psychiatric drugs, or yoga postures, or vipasan, or being saved by Jesus, or getting an exorcism, or singing hare krisna, or doing a detox, I say try everything else , this is a last resort

these are things that I”ve seen that will turn you white, like Winston from Ghost Busters

old school orthodox sri rama krisna order kali worshipers say things like think about it, people go to kali when they’re crushed, when they’re hating life because “it least there will be peace”, they’re harangued by demons, you go to the kali temple and there is peace, hopefully not a patriarchal priesthood

I emphasis female kali priestesses in my work, trying to get back the secret mantras, and decode the art,

the braminization of the goddess, “she was a tribal deity who was absorbed into vedic pantheon”

she was/is a village goddess

decolonize your tantra

get back to psychedelic village level goddess worship

occupying armies, languages, soma, occupying, absorb goddesses take them away from the people then feed it back to them and it’s all corrupted, bastardization by priest craft, put in empire of ego, male ego

I bow down to women who are priestesses, sorting it out, pagan villager medicine woman shamanism craft, that’s what we want to get all the way back down to

the pure hearted matriarchs of the village, witch craft

I’ve said it enough times now, how to translate this, we need to give a voice to the witches and let them do it laboratory conditions

I’m just the messenger, the source is the dakinis and yoginis, who are in state of grace simply because they dont’ have a penis that can be weapons

I don’t have a clue about what was really going on with the cult of the 64 yoginis but there seems to have been a ratio of men to women where women are quite obliged to run the show, quite obliged to minimize and intelligently design with the shiva energy, operating within their coven

I will only get better and better at doing the scholarship on these claims

women are blessed and women are cursed and we need to address this without the backlash

we can be brothers in prostration to the goddess, and experience our masculinity in its most potent form

we’ll get hardest erections when we worship the goddess

ritualized sexual matriarch, that’s probably a useful simplified term

a more rapid depiction

high dose mushrooms, safe-ish setting

looping the track psychedelic goddess worship, mixed and mastered version

never before got as far

turned into an astral battlefield, astral combat, very much like scene in big trouble in little china, when Lo Pan fights Eg Shen, astral avatars battle on their behalf

I got into contortions, spontaneous mudras, like speaking in tongues with your hands, never been trained to do, never done before, seeing my fingers become like black widow spider legs, beautiful sacred geometric formations, like weaving a spider web, as I invoke her more and sing her in more, I become what looks like a mix of black soldier fly and cobra, slithering sounds, autonomically happening the more I surrender, seeing myself as sort of dragon fly mixed with black widow, seeing now how you can allow yourself to be, in a benevolent manner, but possessed, so she can devour demons through you

co-presence between dimensions, I had to think omg this is the fly, I’m Jeff Goldbloom, but that was so gruesome and hideous, but this was beautiful, how could that be re-imagined so it was totally beautiful…so the triumphantness of the incredible hulk, still shocking and bizarre, but whats’ the more beautiful transformation where you see it as totally beautiful and elegant, nothing horrific about it, what would that be, there’s a shape shifting character.

it’s like super mario brothers when you get the tanuki suit, you jump on the mushroom and then basically you become big, you go fast, you have super powers you jump high, game play is enhanced, and with the tanuki suit you get this magic item, this feather, if you get it you can jump and almost fly, you get lift off like a helicopter, its been a long time but the thing I’m pointing to is, imagine you have the power to shape shift, as powerful as incredible hulk but not as nasty and freakish as the fly, it’s not like a horror movie like Freddie Kreuger, nightmare on elm street part two where he comes out of the guy and just sheds him, that’s the ugly version, that’s not what I’m talking about, she’s elegantly sharing my space, I am her she is me, queen bee, cobra snake, transitioning to that with the beauty and elegance of the tanuki suit. Maybe in the Star Trek movie where Kirk ends up getting it on with a shape shifter, she was totally hot, she was actually a beast that can shape shift, imagine that you could totally shape shift into a creature and have it be seamless

it’s possible to invoke the goddess and for her to embody you, and not just putting on make up and pretending to be her iconic formation
I normally see her outside of me, this time more than ever, she enveloped me, I’ve been enveloped by her, clamped down on me, fucking me to purify my chakras, but still being outside of me, penetrating, workign through me, she can swim through me, but like being enveloped by a jellyfish, about to get teeth into my chakras

but this way, she is in my like thundercats

another bad version is like the Edgar suit from Men in Black, demons wear me like the Edgar suit, but Kali wears me to extract the demons from the Edgar suit so I can just be Edgar again, then she’s in the suit, but not possessing to do harm

Sufiana didn’t report becoming the insectoid being, but she described herself rolling out her tongue and hissing, the deity possession trance state, the shamanic healing state

I documented that process later, being very limited financially, very limited with legal sanctioning if at all, having some blessing and bold outlaws to join forces with me, not me manipulated a cult, but me offering educational tools, not involving my dick

I keep my pants on for people who are not my lovers, is that fair, that’s probably a fair way to say it, if you’re my client my pants are on, if you’re my lover, that’s negotiable

back to the non-invasive…able to move massive chunks, being rattled like a freight train, by her, squeezing and working with her to do the contracts, she’s doing the work of the abortion doctor, while I’ll in contracts and pushing out at the same time, it’s so harsh, but you know there have to have been abortions throughout time in crude conditions, certainly not modern legally sanctioned conditions, where the intent was to kill the fetus during the contractions of labor

she’s an insectoid alien goddess, with blackskin, and bejeweled eyes, like the tantric scriptures say, read the 1008 names of Kali and you’ll see the depictions

I need artists to help me with this, graphic novelists, visionary artists

if you could see a woman in labor, shaking convulsing, contracting, seizures and convulsion and simultaneously a female abortion doctor reaching in so as not to leave pieces inside trying to get everything out in one whole piece and eating that thing, but it’s not a baby it’s not in the womb, it’s demons in the chakras

an interplay between goddess kali as the hungry abortion doctor, it’s her doing what she’s evolved to do which is eat demons, I’m serving my demons to the goddess,

an interplay of surrender, and the embodying of the goddess through allow her energy and body to enter your body in a way that is non invasive, she is invasive but in a good way and in a welcomed way,

but no instruments, no cutting devices, no fingers, hands, sexual contact by humans, that’s the best way to describe what’s happening
been in this state many many times, what was different this time was the force

this was the first time I was able to do what I wanted to do all these years, was able to carry it out, to a potent degree, get a massive chunk of demonic biomass, with love and power and strength and courage of the goddess inside of me, her power to purge me, with her mandibles, ready to feast, and it being a much much bigger portion, to the degree that I got the sense that her stomach was full, it had only been oderves up to this point, they were just taking out small grains of rice with chopsticks, she was going in their with her salad tongs to get massive platefuls at once, she got so full, I felt like okay I’m exhausted, she’s full, but after these big chunks got out, hadn’t happened before

very light, blinding to the 3rd eye, sheaths my vision, no more seeing the demonic monsters coming out of me, that make alien look like bambi, all of it, once this massive chunk was taken out gets replaced by this beautiful white light, scaring me, did I damage my optic nerve, I’m just seeing pure white, fuck, there’s some kind of damage…no this is the loving light, dont’ freak out and panic now, go with it, enjoy

instructed to use my own hands, placed fingers against root chakra at the perineum, while the white light was there, use the power to seal the chakra, using massage, using this light healing energy, to use mudras, palm chakras, finger chakras, to do this healing work, like cauterizing a wound, the shakti through palm chakra and finger chakras whill the white light is there, wow, fuck yeah, anatomical surgical orthodoxy, what we think about when we talk about a chakra tune up

these analogies to auto mechanics and surgeons are very apt

you’re doing the work with her, auto-non invasive demonectomy

I had the power and free will to move my body, re-adjust for comfort, drink some water, get up and just make sure the door was locked, again, not ideal conditions

there you have it, what I’ve been working on for years, one of the most glorious since 5.5 year ago initiation with Sufiana

I would like to just be living in the world that we created, to never have been separated by financial duress, within the realm of reasonable periodicity, with medical staff, scientists, medical researchers, the Bangladesh UN security force, that’s what I fantasize about, having the support to do it right

this is like version 0.0001 of the technology, this is not ready, I don’t know what it’s ready for, if you’re suicidal right now and it’s a question of you killing yourself and you dabbling into what I’m talking about, I’m willing to take that risk, this isn’t medical advice, this isn’t therapeutic/psychiatric advise, I’ll make all the disclaimers, in the spirt of YOLO, (actually its not yolo because you live many times) don’t do this in the spirit that everybody wants to see the machine elves that Terence Mckenna talks about, this is a little more extreme than that, do this because it’s life and death for you right until we get the point with research to where so mild version exists, like salsa there will be mild, medium, hot, warning label, extreme hot

if you want to dabble because you’re an extreme case of demon infection, they’re in those hard to reach spots, there’s that song where my demons hide, you want to know, It’s possible to find out, I’m not gonna tell everyone to follow my path

Kali Mandir satsang, a lot of these scriptures, don’t think that they’re all agreed upon by all the priests and priestesses, there are things that are written in stone, but a lot of the scriptures were people exploring and taking notes, like a yogi could be saying “when I said this mantra, at this place and this time in this way, I got reversed gang banged by hot astral dakinis, and I don’t know if this will happen to you, this is me I’m doing me, you do you, I don’t want to implant thought forms and skew it, and contaminated the control group, I’m just trying to build on my own research, I love what the yogis say, talking about female astral non human entities, coming down purifying his soul and doing all this healing work, sounds like what I’m talking about and if he were on mushrooms he’d be able to describe in greater detail, or maybe he was a yogi that attained an endogenous psychedelic state

nothing new here, I’m saying things that have been suppressed for by patriarchy demonic war lords for 1000s of years, but were open source tech as sexual shamanic witchcraft, held by cultures of the world, just business as usually to maintain a shamanic community

when its a matter of infestation of lower chakras, there’s some modality that’s not creepy, predatory or abusive, to somehow empower people to have auto-non-invasive demonectomy sexorcism, auto invasive demonectomy sexorcism, I’ve milked my own prostate, kali possessing me, shards of light coming in, healing, demons coming out, most stunning gorgeous arrays, beauty is subjective, every woman and aspiring woman who ever put on make up with the intent to beautify herself, what every single one strives for is what can be seen when you invoke the goddess with these mantras, and with 3rd eye open with mushrooms

me doing me, phenomenologically, in my own bubble, the most beautiful feminine facial features, and graceful sensual movement, and just every woman or aspiring woman aspires to be, that’s what I’m given, that’s what I’m seeing and if it wasn’t for seeing that I would have ended me life a long time ago on this journey, the brutal beautiful truth is that you gotta go through hell to get to heaven, for the sake of what I’m saying now, I’ve seen the most grotesque creatures I could ever possibly imagine, and take all the monsters ever made in art and film and multiply that by a hundred, and you maybe will get close to how freakish and grotesque and disturbing and mortifying, miracle you’re not catatonic seeing this, the antidote to that hideousness, that makes it tolerable, to look at it as you’re pulling it out, the unpleasantness of removing a tape-worm, the unpleasantness of disinfecting that wound with that pus in it, and all of that, I know there are places in the world where there are blood parasite or urinary tract parasites, pulling a barbed fish parasite out of your urethra, that should feel pretty hideous and I bet that what I see in these ceremonies induces a similar level of mortification, disgust that you would have if you had to do that, while I’ve had to endure that hideousness, if you ever see the electron microscope of blood parasites, imagine if they were just, if you were in a realm where you were shrunken down to be in a massively dense cluster of all kinds of different blood parasites the ones with the circular mouths, and the ravor sharp thorny looking teeth, and weird suckers and pincers, the most alien, bizarre, monstrous, aquatic looking, arthropod looking blood parasites, imagine you were shrunken down a million times and being eaten alive but what, in scale wise becomes these giant giant monsters, then that’s what it feels like and looks like in there, I’m afraid to teach anyone to do what I have done because I fear that they would ever come back from that state of visual disturbance to where they wouldn’t just immediately slit there own wrists and literally rip there own eyes out,not knowing that they can’t reach far enough in to pull their pineal gland out, are you gonna crack open your head and pull your fuckin 3rd eye out and stomp on it, that’s what you’re gonna wanna do if you fuckin see the shit I’ve seen, omg, its nothing the shamans of the amazon don’t see every fucking day, it’s business as usual to have to confront these grotesque forms of life, if you know that you are bigger than them and you step back and you go no I’m not the shrunken millionth of a size me inside of of their world, their inside of my world and I can step up to them like standing up to a bully and I can exorcism them and I can purge them with the medicine, of course you have icaros in south America , and you have mantras in India, how to have syncretic shamanism, sacred sexuality and healing work, lets bring the best of the cultures and not be left with the patriarchal douche-baggery of suppressing the feminine

seeking the path of the goddess here we are, here I am

I get to see the antidote to that hideousness which is the extreme beauty

what makes it all worth it is the sweet beautiful blessed honor of beholding and being imbued with and making love with and being possessed by and suited up by, I have been suited up by the most loving most beautiful, most exquisitely constructed bioarchitecture deity, I don’t know maybe you gotta be the kind of person that things ants and bees are cute

this is the way to look at it, if you’ve ever thought of how in cartoons they’ve made ants and bees look pretty and feminine, and then sexualize that and m ake it into a super hot, goth, metal, sort of like, matrixy club, goth industrial club, shining latex, everything we think about the dark erotic, she is the dark erotic cartoon bee spider, just a cuteness and sexiness and a otherworldliness and an alienness, how many sexy beautiful loving aliens have we seen in sci fi, someone tell me, some show me some, I’m sure they’re in different comics and things, some of the arists they’re doing it, they’re bringing it, astral ecology with Tom Denney, his artwork is the cover of my book, you only have to wait until my book is released to see what I’m talking about, the beautiful feminine alien insectoid goddess who will turn you on, turn you inside out, but but you right back together, surgically restore the soul parts, tuck your chakras back in to your astral body, kiss you goodnight, tuck you in, all the works, the motherly maternal aspect, the sexual healing dakini wild, again, I’m saying nothing new, because you go to an orthodox kali puja and they are saying kali we love you you are the mother, you are the lover you are the friend, and not at all invoking, you hear the word mofo all the time in this culture, all over the world, I don’t know what’s going on there, this is not a Fredian Oedeple kink or neurosis, this is very different and it’s it’s own thing, I kind of went through my messiah complex already, at first I wanted everybody to fuckin know this, because it defeats the tyranny of all patriarchal world religions, more powerful more profound, more radical, more anarchistic, more revolutionary than any prophet, any christ, any saint, in buddha, any yogi,none of them delivery this unless they’re deep into the worship of kali or the tantric goddesses, of which kali is often considered to be the mother matriarchy, the queen bee of the many goddesses of the tantric pantheon, which is influenced with the vedic pantheon but has interplay ultimately with the village goddesses

the beauty is out there, the truth is out there, the beauty is in her, the truth is in there, you’ll see her the way I see her in Tom Denney’s book and on the cover of my book and I didn’t commission him to do that, he did that because he is tuned in as an artist, the way Terence Mckenna describes it to be an artist who sees the future, who can tap into the astral plane, or have the astral plane tap into them, wish me luck

pray for my protection, I’ll be doing my best to sheriff the perimeter of our reality and clean up the infection sites and to fortify the souls of the next generation and to really hospice the souls of this generation, where I am feeding and nourishing many goddesses and keeping myself as humble as possible with as small as a physical footprint of property ownership as possible, with as few possession as possible, and if surrender my money and wealth as it comes through as I have been doing to my beloved priestesses and trust that as long as they hold the sword above my hands and my head and they chose not to let the sword fall on to my arms and onto my neck than I will be continuing to do my work in a good way, and they will be the beneficiaries, they will be my sexecutioners if the time comes, each with their sharpened swords, ready to take a whack, so be it

Story Telling, Mindful Sexuality, and Theta Healing with Alex Mill TPP231

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Alex Mill Pic

In this episode I’m joined by Alex Mill for a delightful exploration of her multi-media and multi-modality artistic and healing works. She shares her background in story-telling through film making of all kinds.  After many great accomplishments in the industry she tells of her yearning for deeper spiritual practice, thus her path of developing her skills in the healing arts. We learn about the science and practice of theta healing and her unique integration of ancient mythological and cosmological concepts of divine masculine and feminine energy. It was exciting to hear her way of explaining esoteric concepts in very down to earth and easy to compute terms. Ultimately our discussion ends with a brief inquiry into the role and future of machine learning and artificial intelligence as a means to shed light on humanity’s strengths and weaknesses.

About Alex:

Alex has merged her 10 years of storytelling experience as a filmmaker, with her personal spiritual explorations of how the sexual energy is capable of raising our level of consciousness, and created the field of Mindful Sexuality. Tuning into her clients’ personal narrative, Alex has helped people all around the world to craft a Life Story they’re grateful to experience and proud to share. Using a unique mixture of Theta Healing, Egyptian, Chinese and Indian Tantric mind/body/spirit practices and a dash of modern scientific understanding, she’s teaching people how to heal from old personal stories and how to embody their highest, true potential.

Event at Liberate Hollywood on February 3rd at 7pm —
Different Desires, Shared Pleasures of the Divine Masculine & Sacred Feminine
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/different-desires-shared-pleasures-of-the-divinefemininesacredmasculine-tickets-90244045369

https://www.masterofstory.net

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1hjrR8b6JFGqnC6dzd04VQ

https://www.instagram.com/_master_of_story_/

https://www.facebook.com/masterofstory/

https://www.imdb.com/name/nm6550157/

My (non-verbatim) notes from the show:

Mindful sexuality coach

Entire background in film making, narrative, story telling

All about people’s personal stories

The way we exist in our own language, is literally shaping and forming how we see our reality, our worldview

Through sexual energy, connect mind and body

Look at the first relationship that gets messed up, our own mind, body and spirit

After 10 years of film making, no matter how much worldly success, or achievement, not finding fulfillment

Not finding right collaborators, giving too much, getting too little

Not able to contribute what was inside

Through personal practice, always ended up being the relationship coach in circle of friends

Love working with men, there’s a lack of emotional awareness or emotional access to the depth of purpose within people

Sexual energy, life force energy that we were made of

Learn to tap into that energy

Mind-body practices helped first to be able to tap into what my purpose is, mission in the world

Discipline, inner drive for a life-time practice, not just a hobby

Done enough healing so I can go back to the world and contribute and give to others

Lived for past seven years in London, currently in Spain

Assistant directing, commercials, indy films, music videos, big studio films

The filmmaking side is not about me, it extended my field of vision

Such levels of collaborations, I know it’s going to shape the world

There’s a calling to bring a level of awareness and consciousness to the film making community so we are creating content for soul fulfillment

We’re putting screens into the hands of children

Grew up on movies, in the 90s

Relationship misalignments, coming from deeply ingrained story telling narratives that are not useful, might be entertaining, has to be crisis and making, up, and those in real life were not serving me

New ways of story telling, educating people, film is so accessible and fun way of connecting

We’re watching people emoting from our very safe space

Learning how to be a human being through those characters

Excited to bring knowledge back to the film community

Current project, calling it a bingeable Netflix type thing, choose your adventure type story, made of completely eccentric and genre mixing bits of short pieces told from perspective of four characters

Issues tackling, parent child relationships, human ai relationships, media relationships

What if for 20 years, complete ban on all human reproduction, 2040 we’re deciding who will be the next parents, what would a completely adult society look like, massive chunk of adult society are turning back to childish ways in good and in bad ways.

It’s multi platform, planning to take beyond just film media, maybe a video game outlet or a book outlet or anything that contributes

More people bringing in vastly different talents

Open up to something that is gonna be a shared achievement

Culture impact, that can affect political changes

Never want to have political career but wish to see political changes

Issues of sex money and power

Theta healer, abundance guide

We are living in an abundant universe, beyond money, beyond addictive relationship with money

Living up to full potential, giving gifts to the world

Good grip of how you are showing up in the world

I still like having 1 on 1 clients, that’s the most in depth work that I get to do

Fascinated with group healing sessions

Realized, it always starts from healing

We are always digging into deeper and deeper issues of what’s behind

Deeper healing is always needed

Through group healing sessions I’m escalating

Tap into the power of collective consciousness so we don’t feel isolated with our problems

Whatever we call our pain, our suffering, our issues, very shared issues and problems and feelings

During the summer planning to put together retreats, that’s the mixture of deep 1 on 1 and deep group work

Pinnacle of my summer

Making profound shifts and changes in people’s lives

Anything that I teach is about the practice

Not just learning information, take it into your body and make it into a life time practice, changing from within showing up to yourself and in relationships differently

That has such a beautiful ripple effect, you get to see you’re not just for yourself, you have the resources and the access to give back to other people

technical background, theta healing course in London

Gorgeous goddess of theta healing in London, taught so much

https://www.annakitney.com/

Such a beautiful journey, to be able to see it from a lady

Unusual to see women in such powerful positions, she can instant heal people in front of you

The science behind it, it’s out of a lot of people’s price range to do biofeedback training

The crash course training of the visceral experience of how different brainwaves feel in side you, you get to control and dip into different states of consciousness, different brainwaves

They work as an orchestra

Beta alert
Alpha light, meditational state, relaxational
Theta deep meditational
Delta deep sleep
Gamma, high alertness state of bless and joy

all of those 5 different brainwaves, at all times we are operating on all states in different amounts,

just like an orchestra, some times someone takes a solo, doesn’t mean other 4 or 5 aren’t present

to utilize one is a skill that none of us are taught

religiously follow work of Joe Dispensa

https://drjoedispenza.com/

We all have the ability to go into these states, it’s just the practice that we’re lacking

A lot of conditioning, programming, before age 7, in a theta state, things are deeply ingrained, they start to operate us, your conscious ability to chose your response instead of an automatic reaction, that conscious ability is filtered for most people, by layering and layering

Theta healing, the practitioner maintains a brainwave state, the client doesn’t need to, so it’s not hypnosis

Traditional sessions the client doesn’t need to be in the state

Through quantum entanglement we are so interlinked, intimately interlinked

It can be misused, it can be manipulated, healers have a such a powerful position, have such a responsibility to take to guide them on a journey

I explain everything that I’m doing, I guide people through so that when the step up, they’re not dependent on the practitioner, they leave the session with the ability to practice on themselves.

Real scientific background that we’re catching up with.

If you’re more feminine inclined, then intuitively you’re getting the power, your’e getting the ability to connect with yourself.

Work on whatever is holding you back, clear those old programs and replace them with useful ones

Regarding super powers, super heros, villains, good guys and bad guys:

When you’re a bad guy, i would imagine that consciously you’d have to relinquish your judgement, when you’re not judging anymore you open yourself up to be the empty space to receive powers from way beyond yourself, you become this earthly channel of energies that are superceding your own personal self centered consciousness

Go beyond the self, which ever deity you chose you’re tapping into powers that are way beyond normal average human functioning, we need to be able to recognize that this judgement is the only thing that’s holding us back from becoming those deities

Looking within, going inwards and embodying those powers within us, those are our birthrights, those are facets of the consciouness that we are

Look at world through lens of feminine masculine energy, duality consciousness, polarity consciousness, shifting to paradigm of unity consciousness, using them in dynamic merge, embodying those messages within ourselves, standard disclaimer, do not equate to masculinity and femininity, not dependent on gender, orientation, preferences, sexual identity, cosmic forces, shiva the pure light of consciousness, that’s incapable of experiencing himself, that’s the masculine energy, and the pure experience of reality that is always moving, always dancing around this conscious energy, that’s shakti, that’s the feminine energy

When you’re becoming the space, when you’re becoming your own manifestation, directionality, omni directionality,

or use for relationship problems, feel into which energy is missing or lacking and you can substitute

that’s the cosmic part

I’m fascinated with mythology

scientific and mystical explanations of religion

I love sacred geometry

To communicate what i’m doing to people with no knowledge, the language of these two energies is very accessible

For very down to earth problems, were you in your masculine or your feminine, how are they showing up in your every day relate

balance

show up for partner in more heart centered more unity consciousness way

from the scientific point of view, we’re electromagnetic beings, so our body, our cells communicate with each other with electricity

heart and mind, electromagnetic field

whatever you learn from mythological, or geometrical, or the woo woo side of explanations of what the feminine and masculine cosmic energy are, they exist within your own body in a scientific, measurable, biological, biochemical way, they show up in your biofield

the electric force is the direct communication between your cells, the magnetic force is this curving energy field around you that’s swirling, that’s omindirectional, whenever you want to use it, whenever you want to tap into it, whenever youw atn tto have a direct access to something, electrical forces are triggered in your body

when you want to attract anything

when you feel how energy moves in your body, that’s another element

utilize those forces within you
that’s the scientific part

when we have the more left brain inclined explanation of whatever has been out in story form for 1000s of years and now were discovering that breathing exercises work in a specific way because they literally open op energetic channels within your body, your prana tube, your energy tube within the center of your body is intimately interlinked with your spinal column

whenever you learn how to mover energy through your muscles around your spinal column you’re tapping into your kundalini, prana life force energy

starting to communicate very old paradigms and give it a more scientific language

shifting from the paradigm from duality consciousness into unity consciousness

the feminine side use to be the mythological narrative, now we’re giving it a more left brain more masculine understanding

bioelectricy, chemistry, dna, gene expression

merging storytelling side with scientific side

Study the way we have put together AI, reflecting back to how our consciousness is creating us

AI, studies with chimpanzees, have amazing visual memory, whatever they are using their consciousness for is developed in different ways

Our memories, our ability to retain data and information was compromised in favor of language, or collaboration, social connections, social connections

AI bridging the gap of the more technical, more linear, more streamlined functions of consciousness such as memory, computing, data

The more creative functions, the more creative, emotional, they are something that AI is incapable of doing

If we learn how to code those things into AI, but what we’re learning from what machines learn by themselves, they have a specific skill set that’s way better than the human skill set

Instead of trying to craft AI that’s closer to the human experience, it’s more exciting to harness the asset of AI that we are incapable of reaching, maybe we can learn from AI

ending with silence

vipasana meditation

silencing self judgment,

listen beyond doubts and fears

whatever you meet is the infinitely powerful self of yours