Monthly Archives: February 2019

Psychedelic Goddess Worship: Behind the Book with Wilhelm Cortez TPP187

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In this episode I’m joined again by my dear beloved soul bro of more than two decades, Wilhelm Cortez.  (Listen to our first episode here) We’ve both been working hard in collaboration on overhauling and editing the manuscript for my forthcoming first book entitled: “Psychedelic Goddess Worship: Erotic Memoirs from the Astral Battlefield”.

I thought it would be fun and engaging to give a bit of a “behind the book” commentary so we could both compare notes and commiserate on the arduous process of co-creating hopefully a potential modern epic.

We discuss the backstory of how our personal life journeys have intertwined throughout the years going back to the old days in the Portland Gutter Punx scene and the forest defense encampments, then we give an overview of the events leading up to his encouragement and editorial role for my articles on the Good Men Project website, then we cover the events leading up to the formation of the Connection Victory publishing company. This leads to our dialog about the inner-workings of the book editing process, discovering emergent properties hidden between the lines, getting stuck and unstuck, converting an otherwise dry pseudo-scientific pseudo-academic tome, into a sci-fi-esque romance novel, and much more.

It has and will continue to be a great honor to have his expertise and wisdom informing and guiding the project in ways I could never have imagined. It’s a trip how the book is a sort of living creature filled with its own paradoxical angels and demons. We discuss how since Wilhelm has been involved, he has in different ways become both entangled and liberated through the process.

We’re looking forward to an official release later this year, stay tuned!!!

Please connect with Wilhelm via email at: globalnomadway (at) gmail (dot) com

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear beloved smoke Natasha Punk podcast episode number 187 I am here again with Wilhelm Cortez and we’re going to talk about the evolution of our unique and beautiful co-creative relationship through various are writing initiatives that he got me on board with writing for the good men project a number of years ago now and we have a personal back story that we discussed more in previous episode that we did so we had originally done a podcast together episode number 81 the good men project with exact editor Wilhelm Cortez and in that episode you can hear more about our background meeting up in Portland in the days of the Portland gutter punks and and also hanging out in the forest and just being a part of Northwest good old American Street Punk Eco Punk activism in the Northwest and and his journeys in travels and how we we kind of read and we’ve together in various the very Point sometime just kind of a soul Brotherhood that has really blossomed now in the present moment as he’s not only be at me he has become my my dream copyright editor you know of that had not had anyone in my life be supported of my work in that way and it’s always just been me kind of winging it and I have I wouldn’t say I’m a prolific writer but I wrote a column for the profane existence anarcho-punk magazine and you know I’ve always just wrote zeins and Roll lyrics and wrote pretty profusely just in my own my own life I guess I would say that I I do this prior to eventually be an author but the impetus to really do that didn’t come together for me until just the last I guess the last few years that I’ve been in in the zone of actually producing a manuscript that is a I buy a biographical almost science fiction sort of Epic that is titled now psychedelic goddess worship erotic Memoirs from the astral Battlefield and so it really encapsulates and depicts a lot of the journey that I’ve been on that various podcast previous podcast have brought on characters from my life story that are in the book by fictitious names it’s it’s it’s it’s it is really the the text formatting of of all the videos I’ve been doing and in Black post and what not and who better to actually be the one to help me organize and make sense of all of this material than the man my dear friend here it’s already been editing articles that I have been writing for the good men project website so there there’s just been a again this this interweaving of synchronicity that’s brought us together in various contexts and couldn’t ask for a better and more blessed experience of having the help and support I need to do it every crazy maniac creative artist author type person writer whatever they need somebody to actually bring things down to earth on occasion and sort things out and really be a soundboard and so this is my first experience of having that level of care and concern for my life story and it’s pretty much just been me trying to make sense of things on my own and sometimes having the state intervene or like the mental health system intervene and trying to help me sort things out you know little bit of families and lovers here and there but this is a real gift to have somebody to help me with the cat all this madness and all this material and and make it into something that hopefully will will touch the soul of humanity and heal the soul of humanity to especially for those who can commiserate and have been to various you know similar forms of them no trauma and whatnot so that is just sort of to orient this conversation what I love to do when we get into the sort of body of this is to First bring have Wilhelm bring us up to speed on on his sort of perspective his narrative on what it’s been like to interact with me and get to this point in this process and then we’re going to get into really the bitter the behind the pages if you will on where we’re at in the editing process of this manuscript and and some of the I would call it these beautiful emergent properties of of two heads being better than one on trying to understand how to frame this material and get into some of the bloopers probably and it’s just some of the everything you did you’d come to love about it like a movie director producer commentary bonus feature that’s my that’s my goal is to have that that affect your even though the book is is not yet out when it is when it comes out this will be a nice can into to enjoy it with so with all that said well I’m thank you for being with my intro and thank you for being here and how are you doing what’s new with what’s happening was a very gracious introduction and I thank you for that and also as you mentioned since the book still isn’t out and we’re still really kind of in the middle of the chaos storm of editing this thing it’s also I see it as a challenge to continue on with it because it is been quite a bit of a journey and it all kind of started with the seats Mew no looking back at the first article that you published with the good men project these little things are more valuable than oil where to go and talk to you about the environment and and basically seeds and keeping not and how that all works together really that’s where we started off and it was kind of funny I was scanning through the articles that you did for championship and the way but we really go up to where I think you really wanted to be talkin about the whole time which was you know how to how to survive and how does she feel and how to give back and that’s really what we see and you know we had our little you know not really problems or anything along the way but you know if you’re familiar with the good men project you trying to cross the border but we also we have a very very PG-13 rating and the first draft of how to make love like a god editorial staff at the time but you know working through it we we discovered a lot we discovered a lot more about the the emotive core beyond the physical and how to really talk about in a dress. And I really feel like the work on that article kind of kicked off the creative literary relationship between us this really you know putting it back for those of you go back and listen to the previous podcast in the Back store is really the mature Asian of this journey we’ve been on through various different weird intersections in our lives that kind of brought it together so that brings it up to that day when you asked me you know hey I was putting together all this stuff for a storage at the science fiction and about this Tantra and scalene inbox as you said in about an about more and I was just like what is this Beastie is creative Sprouts sourcing editing for it and I’m like oh you’ve got like getting now we’re getting entered like dimensional in the complex that he’s here that’s when I was just kind of like will send me what you got and you did and when I started to go through it it was like oh okay deep breath this is the story this is the one that you’ve been alluding to you been talkin about and caulking around and then all your other work was working towards you know and actually get in getting it all laid out but the first presentation basically that you gave me was really readable and interesting for an archivist doing research on recovery and healing from trauma but for an audience that is a lot more than that and that actually need that healing process support cuz we know like within the society that has been constructed based off of the oppression and abuse of so many different demographics you know this is what I’ll try not to get too distracted talking about like ecofeminism and all of the connections that we have. But I think it to put it in a really lame in an easier one package has one of the phrase I used with you when we were talking about what we were going to do with all this material that you would collect it together all this material that you had compiled all of these notebooks that he would process all of these transcripts all of this words what are we going to do with it and it was like I saw the power in the story as being a power and that you know it’s like the popularity of something like Fifty Shades of Grey which is like really problematic on so many levels like you know like relationship-wise socialize abuse wise oppression wise and for me is an editor like you know how to get the story across indicative through and that what we actually had the potential for was the type of story that the kind of as interest it’s like people like and watch and he read about and participate in sexual intercourse and this is a good healthy and presenting it in a good healthy way is that Rod wood to dry in. Kind of leadership wants to have that in their literature or in their imagination to deliver it in a way that is healing and uplifting that was kind of worried you know I watched off and it was like another one of those happy you know synchronicities coincidences designs plans people just randomly having things happen things had worked out through another executive editor at the good men project Lisa blocker who I worked with quite closely for about 2 or 3 years and in that time we started developing this idea of a publishing company and to get out ideas about social justice ethics gender and sexuality spirituality mental health to get exposure for writers who don’t necessarily have the resources to put it all together because it’s doing publishing it’s like you may have the best but how are you going to deliver to your readers if you have so many more steps so what we have with connection Victory publishing is promote these ideas as well as these writers that we have a connection with the are part of our you know our society are social family part of our community wise man so that’s when I pitched the idea to you that I’m about like a you know how about if we do this book and we take the Sun and I was stoked because what could be more what could be a bigger honor than to be under the wings of to Powerhouse editors from the good men project that means more to me on a personal and spiritual level let alone a professional and resume sore level than if I was to go with or seek out or just send the manuscript out and just have whoever was the highest bidder or something you know be for me to be just in that Machinery I like your saying too if I was at going up going about the route I’m just saying I’m have my friend my friend who flips houses gave me this great little bit of wisdom very kind of Dallas kind of things do they say they said that because it will be out there they’re flipping houses this is little bit of side note but it’ll it ties him in a good way it says they were after flipping houses which means they’re out there and they’re already very wealthy but they want to hang onto as much Capital as they can so they they will actually do a lot of the manual labor themselves you know scraping off paint pouring concrete and doing the tiles and tearing out carpets and all that stuff they would just as a family they would get together and it would sort of swap out rules to to flip houses and do all that and but they didn’t have to they could have paid someone to do it but they kind of wanted to just keep it in-house a bit but they said they had this bit of wisdom amongst them that they share with me what she said they said if you start to get the fuckits it’s expecting you you had enough doing some tasks in your about to start your feeling the temptation to cut corners and just get it over with I say stop stop when you get the fuckits and go do something else and come back another day when you’re refreshed and ready to do it right and I had I had gotten to the point where I didn’t I was not integrating that was them and I had had the fuckits with this process and that’s why I said I wanted to just crowdsource the editing and just say alright I’m letting the I’m letting the community steer this ship and it like it could be a Wikipedia have its own website which is a Wiki and people could do a fact checking and correcting and grammatical stuff and I’m just going to like going to go meditate in the mountains or something but it was a sweet deal to have you and have all this come together and for me to say okay this is I was like I guess I wasn’t probably going to go after some other Publishers and go through that process or tonight and I wasn’t going to raise do it I wasn’t going to do I get a Kickstarter or something for it cuz I just don’t have that that Network to leverage your Liam pretty much an itch with an itch so so it’s been a huge gift to have the the the gamble the business Gamble and the professional Gambler love that hoodie that you I feel like you are betting on me and I want to do my best to be a winning bet for for the Enterprise and for the reputation and everything so it is it’s also like a reason for me to be at an upright Citizen and M2 now we’re sort of in a reputational report as well and end with the good men project that’s a huge I don’t want to say burden for me to self remaining you know in the light of the light be reputable and and make sure that my path is is impeccable to certain standards and so it’s it’s a hopefully I am I can I will sustain that and and yeah it’s it’s an I guess I just want to make that point that there’s something beautiful about there being a friendship involved in this editing process that deep friendship and Anna and that ability to go through the sort of push back and the pull back and all of that which gets into the the the compromise of the actual and in the process I couldn’t imagine going I couldn’t imagine being in some cold sterile lifeless Dynamic with under a contract where you just want to let you know I’m sure I know a lot of authors go through that or a lot of creative people just go through as well and someone else has some Authority there the process like what’s the title going to be with the cover are going to be and it’s going to be it’s just been a very very nice homey welcoming process working together so far and and yeah I think that that that’s a good a good rap on the sort of the form of this of this process now if you want to get into the content and I am really I love for you to start to start us off with that and I’m I will come in with them with some thoughts about how really you saved my life in this process you’ll probably count you’ll probably introduce it for us but if not I will all follow up with it so it’s oh yeah what would you say now about the your perspective on after we ain’t the deal in in in your Yugioh you’re you’re now incentivized with with the under your under under your relationship with the company you know you’re incentivized to do this as and now we’re now we’re Partners right we’re now and now we’re Partners more so than before and so so you’ve got it you’re digging in and was being of the socket and capricci not too late and you know throwing that causing you to throw it out to this idea of when you presented it to me I was like this Echo back to the forest it was like she’s going to try to do editing by consensus in a group and it’s like you remember how that would usually turn out it would usually the people saying fucking walking away from the meeting story it’s like we’ve got to figure something else out with it and this will you know you remember when I read through and was looking at it we were trying to figure out what is really the story we have here because as it was presented a common thing that you know any writer does especially when they’re drafting something is we have this tendency to fall back on the front of logical trying to be autobiographical it’s like you’ve got the order of events in the order they happened to your head because you lift and so when you start to write on your right or that way and especially for the Contemporary audience it’s like it just really isn’t compelling to read send you out in the layer that you know there’s a lot of the chronology of this story before you get to anything that is kind of a feel-good moment and so thinking about the reader in my it’s like I was like all right we need to do something from the story a beginning part that is compelling the makes sense that has a vehicle to tell the story through maybe so that we don’t have to like try to Drudge through all of this really heavy dark demonic schitt’s until we get to the end of the book when everything’s resolved because contemporary readers aren’t going to do that so that was really the first layer yes and then so you can see how you can you use skillfully set this up so I can introduce that what it was that that evolved into the solution to that conundrum and and it was the way that you were able to really get me woke about the situation I didn’t put up much of a fight at that moment cuz I knew you’re a hundred percent right and it wasn’t hard to convince me at that point because literally in the manuscript I gave you the sort of prologue or the sort of preface was that it was actually a warning to say you’re you’re going to you really have to be I don’t remember exactly exact words it was totally there the least inviting yeah I like abandon all hope ye who enter something kind of think so and it and really I would have to have I would have to be a rockstar or some other form of established sensation for four people to to actually break that seal and go through it on her own but if there’s a given where it where I’m at right now you know I don’t have and I had thought about that too unlike you know this is probably something I will publish for a lot of reasons I’ll wait until my dying day whenever that is to sign some authorization for this to be released and I had thought about how well there’s people who were alive who are referencing the story and it’s not going to take you no more than putting two and two together you know to match people and places and what not and of course you have to have for legal reasons keep it a fictitious Encompass the ticket fictitious names but you know but I’ve I’ve lost a bit of sleep wondering how certain people will will react to how they’re involved in in the in the story I feel like I’ve done my best to try to make everyone involved have some sort of some sort of a dental qualities or what not but but that I guess it’s another story but getting getting into that that that critical moment of every frame at at the beginning and end what you told me about making it you know accessible to read making it actually it has to be enjoyable even if it’s disgusting and it has to be so otherwise like you said and I got that immediately as well as if you want to create something that people if you want to create a material that can be published in a peer-reviewed journal of academics who want to study sexology or paranormal psychology for a second science or whatever then I’m sure you could present I could presented a conference and say that this is my research and here’s my crazy manuscript that’s 400 pages and transcription and all of his chronology but for it to be a novel or have that that scalability in the culture it certainly there’s enough love there’s enough ice to I think I remember hearing recently somewhere that I think on IMDb or something like that a Shawshank Redemption is still one of the most on something by some Metric Shawshank Redemption is considered still the most worshipped movie ever and I can’t say that’s box office sales of some other metric but that is not a particularly there’s no wet there’s almost no women in the movie there’s almost no romance in that movie it’s a bunch of guys in prison raping each other beating each other and try and in trying to escape from the most heinous abusive abusive Authority but it is the Redemption of hacking the system and figuring out how to find your soul and find what matters in and I even believe in from antonchak sense there’s a moment where the Shakti energy is comes through the speakers when he had when he breaks that he gets the record and he locks himself in that they’re the PA room and he plays the opera singers out you know that that’s the goddess right there so if that story can do what it did and that was a Stephen King story and then made into a movie and all that thing but it has to have that a certain Cadence in a certain flow and in in a certain mystery for people to have to put in meat meat meat the story Halfway by having a Kinect dots and not having its food Fenton spoon-fed over the course of a chronology with all of this dance academic material so so the thing that I guess before I get or nah I’ll let you a personal say okay from now on when I say when we say the words we receive the letters mfp we are referring to Magic fucking pussy who is who was my Divine tantric dakini consort who really takes most of the credit for giving giving me the most blessed in the most Redemptive outcome that would that was that wasn’t suicide and it wasn’t deeper addiction and depression and just melt melt down and it really the the hero of the story that didn’t exist in the manuscript because a manuscript was just a telling of events up until right before I actually got involved with mfp in real life it was all just painful dark negative and then some some spiritual Revelations and some some spiritual insights about how these things all work and how trauma works and how abuse works or is how it functions I should say but but there was no payoff and there was no really beautiful romantic Redemption and that but but but that did actually in the manuscript I was I had not included the the what would have just been the next chapter in the chronology was like oh yeah and then I met this woman who totally like loved on me the way I needed to be loved on and vice versa and now you have that element of a beautiful enjoyable school and you were the Catalyst Wilhelm in this process of making me have an aha moment to say wait I do have a device and it’s not a contrived device it’s actually the most beautiful lakes in the pearl it is she has been and is and is in the story The did the did the Highlight the Pearl the trade however you want to do when a call is so I’m kind of fumbling now trying to put in contacts but I’d love to have for you to talk about how how we navigated that that sort of question mark of how to make it a story a really difficult rhinology Indian Redemption you’ve got that and what better way to make it more palatable than to make it a love story you know and that’s kind of where it’s funny because you are you and your listeners know of mfp me in my mind it’s j because that’s the character named you used to develop the love story that we needed to really tell this story and it was really like you going fast-forwarding through all of that story and realizing there was this anchor moment of the healing Journey where there was it was Mutual it was like Drew The Mentor in Bohemian came and it was like house flipping the whole thing around it’s instead of leaving Las Vegas word entry in Las Vegas right from the get-go we should never put her clothes back on I whispered after catching my breath you know and it’s like once that was there it was like okay now we have a way to really tell the story but it stopped perfect way that was already in coded in the story to begin with it was just a matter of writing it in it has been missed in the first few passes but it makes sense in the the process of compiling the story because going through and transcript going through court records going through Protective Services records going through cancer only through your old journals remembering the stories and writing them out and through all of that as well as having the emotional distance of the writer in transcribing all of this stuff in also once we unlock that box and discovered this the perfect element that was already there that’s when it’s like hey okay we just start not from the beginning of this life story of this drama we begin with the mentoring of the one who gave the healing that’s where my real story is and that’s where it’s funny because it’s like you know it’s it’s your life story but it’s her story right amazing yesterday at sunshine remember that I have a moment because you’re asking me the conversation was it would I we just have to come up with something to make the NIT really at night how could I have I guess the way the only logic that I could I could imagine I’m sure I was going to send you the time is it will but that’s that would be the second volume because right in that they can go to the vet that just that that that krinock chronological bias there’s not going to be a second volume to put it in so there’s another Cosmic giggle at work here which is at I just I’ve been binge-watching a lot of them making of movies behind the scenes could type of movies because of the the the dabbling and in film that I’m doing and and I just really are so many movies that have built me in that are in my heart and so I get almost the most pleasurable experiences that I have fully clothes I should stay or come from watching these behind the scenes and making-of documentaries and I just recently watched the movie Casino one of the one of the making of or behind the scenes documentaries on casino and and it’s totally timely to this conversation because Nicholas Pileggi who was the author producer screenwriter researcher and he he was the one who who mapped out all of the the historical chronological timeline of events that that are depicted in the film casino but in in the actual documentary he said it was he said you know I had all these if he had the history the history and there cannot chronology of events all laid out on paper but it was the magic of Scorsese who was able to make it into an entertaining film because he was able to mash it up and create all of these different constantly I mean this is this is just now I’m not trying to quote him anymore but this it was perfect timing that I saw that because that was exactly the crossroads that we were at really wrote where we’re at right now is because we still editorial past of you getting Jade written in to the story and then I know through that it unlocked other things that was like okay well they stop going to be in that in this needs to be and it’s like getting that all in but there was will be suctioned swear it was these long pieces of transcript these long pieces of fight notes from sessions and it was just like you know I would hit it going through Reading it was just like all four wheels in the butt smell like the story just comes to you know it’s like nobody’s nobody’s going to look down and they’re going to get distracted they’re going to check their like Twitter what I started to do is I was going through and I was like okay this opening part that we have this opening scene is really good but then it’s like it’s still was continuing on with that way kind of chronology for that whole scene and it’s like well this is our open like it really doesn’t fit well because it’s too much of the scene and it’s the beginning of the book and the reader doesn’t know why the hell they’re reading the book at all it’s like now yeah it sounds good it’s great but it’s like there’s no there’s no conflict there’s no nothing so we need to start generating that and then it was like okay so now I have to start looking at this as like four sections at a time you know because you sent me what is it about 50 sections that we’ve got and then I started to look at them four to five sections that are and it’s like what’s going on with this chunk of the story and how can we play around with it and rearrange it so that it’s more interesting more to tell him because we’ve got a few challenges going on here you know we’ve got what we talked about already about like the difficulty of the story in itself then creating the character which was there all the time in the story but realizing that it was actually her story that we needed to tell because that made it really interesting and then trying to cut and piece it together and then you know way back at the beginning you mentioned that it was kind of sci-fi kind of this kind of that and it’s like the reason it’s that kind of sci-fi is because the subject matter that we’re getting into we don’t really have the vocabulary or terminology to talk about accurately so that had to be created and borrow she had to be borrowed a little bit from it had to be borrowed a little bit from biology had to be borrowed from together and kind of breaking that story line up and kind of letting it just sort of fall into place and I don’t like that bouncing ball you know because what we started with what you experience with the reality of this story is in the two stories yours and hers that were telling within it is it was fucking chaotic as all hell the way the stories being told needs to be told that way I know on the street you experience in these orders but in the healing and the deconstruction and the analysis and the free packaging and the use of it it didn’t happen that way bread and for the 4th for it to be this is something that when I did my first feature film acting role very independent very low budget and but I have high hopes for it and it is also in the editing process now and that’s going to be who knows it could have it could be a non-event it could be a major event there certain the elements of it that I I’m I’m sworn to secrecy about it because it has a very novel plot architecture that it’s almost like a trade secret kind of NBA kind of thing right now so I can’t say much about it but I will say that I have I have been in a legitimate independent as as Bonafide as it gets an independent film and I have performed in that and in that in that process I was gleaning from the producer director of the film everything I possibly could about lighting about camera angles about setting up shots about everything that you know this cuz he’s a very accomplished very respected filmmaker and and of course I was taking all kinds of notes in the process and one of the things that I remember and I can say this you know what kind of big lie but when we were when when we were doing scenes where there was dialogue and I was supposed to not tell my story per se but basically create the story of the character for the for the introduction of the character to the people and I was I was instantly just buy my nature by my training I was basically giving in academic lecture mode trying to trying to give the the 101 the one or two there were two o one that and so in the way that I’ve always been trained to to deliver information and academically and it in a sequential sequential matter that everything goes on a self that you wouldn’t go to a college course and expect that okay everybody we’re going to just completely discombobulated the structure of the of the history of this field and I’m going to teach you all about what’s happening now and then throw in a little mysterious bits of the history of it so that you can be confused for like half the class and I just keep you confused the hope for half the class and then you’re going to get to the enjoyment and the pleasure and the glory of stitching it together in your own subconscious in your unconscious mind and your part of the time you’re going to be in your own Narrative of trying to sort things out but that’s the difference between between an academic narrative and entertainment narrative is that you were wanting in a neat so he would tell me when I was doing his like nose stopped you look you need to be more cryptic you need to give them leading sort of mysterious sort of my little bits and M and there and let them Stitch it all together from from I guess if you take that to the extreme you have keep the quintessential Pulp Fiction or Tarantino thing where there’s all these different fragments that are totally disconnected yeah yeah yeah not postmodernist deconstructed storyline which is definitely you know. Not only is an influence within the work they were working on but it needs to be there to be able to tell that good story and that’s kind of something that you know especially with my editorial work with connection Victory is when I go into edit I need to like major reconstructive surgery on this thing but the actual Aberdeen of the story in the word from the grammar the mechanics of How It’s put together is really light because I don’t want to change the author’s voice at all I want to find a way to cut it down so that it amplifies that voice and the best way to do that really has to do is send it like the author Reed’s through it after you’ve done in there like I don’t even know where you at changed anything unless they’re holding him up side-by-side now of course from what you originally handed me to what we’re going to end up with my wife dropped you know I eventually delivered to you when we’re done you’re definitely going to know that it’s my hope that you know as we work through it and get it up to you you know copy ready you’re still hearing your voice all through it and that is it kind of need this back to the fukkit which definitely is something I’ve had to watch and working on this piece because it is so in-depth and working five sections at a time you know and like when you start off with like you know entering Las Vegas Queen of the duck the gummies a goddess among Lenin corpse work event rape culture that’s my first five sections and so by the time you work through that it’s like you’re kind of feeling just a little tiny – a fuck it employs step away and you take a break and you go out and like you stick your hands in the soil especially when I reach the five sections that start with Lady Ayahuasca move through other sections and end with masturbating on acid and an ambulance that was definitely a moment I need to stop and take a break because in true that it’s like bees is distractions that writers will right themselves into to avoid from having to address realities with a story where we talked around the word we talk around it and so editorial it’s like all of that is it’s like on Menaul and this and that and that we use in hedging invoice to like trying to think and prepare we do that in writing especially when you’re writing like that so when we start to take that out and it starts there’s also I’m discovering within the story and put the potential for what you’re working on the kind of like kind of come out and it’s like when I was working on Section entitled fighting Ness Monsters it’s like and I’m working across five sections together and stitching fit trying to make people in all this and everything in it it’s time-consuming okay and there was a point when I’m going along and if you just put that idea in itself I’m not going to say anymore it gave me a really good idea for a story I’d like to develop itself so the things that come out from the lines I could have made a total Twilight Zone well I’m glad I’m actually I was going to ask you if you would be daring enough to out yourself for having had that the moment that that that you share with me about that cuz it is so telling and that in itself is that is is just takes and takes off on another tangent of another another story of like what and actually I had I did anchors me into want to say and I don’t know if I would have mentioned this but I definitely think it’s critical that I do is that I don’t wish I don’t think that was it when it when I had that that disclaimer in the beginning of this it was really sort of like what we would call in the modern parlance of of more conscious more evolved discourse that the whole notion of a trigger warning so it’s it’s almost like this the the haven’t you see sometimes on posts online no trigger warning all caps bold trigger for sale for me the the the scale of trigger warning that would have to be put on this like if there was a trigger warning security alert scale than this book would be off that scale because of how triggering it could be in so many ways and and and I can’t even account for the VA the notion that let’s say this is red a kind of feel like like I have the retention for having such a severe warning the beginning is that the way that I just feel like if you were not extreme Survivor on the edge of an existential crisis meltdown suicidal ideations this probably shouldn’t be on your shelf next to Catcher in the Rye and Of Mice and Men and wakesetter this this is an extreme piece of work that that I want to I want it to be because I am somewhat afraid about the what what the side effects could be from even being exposed to this if it’s not necessary know you would rather in the words of Terence McKenna just whistle past the graveyard in life if you can possibly avoid going to these territories and so there’s that tension and needs to be I don’t know what the effect will be in the fact that you had that experience is Testament testimony shift for myself in it is the first it’s like yeah yeah that’s why I need to be told and yeah as far as you know trigger warning this time everything you know there’s that little back blur that goes on the back of the book you know that gives you the brief rundown or it’s on the inside flaps of the Dust jacket if it’s hard bound with the cover and everything like that it’s like that’s where that’s really what the trigger warning is it’s like if you look at any book it gives you that basic breakdown of the story you’re going to be reading so you know that’s where we put the trigger warning without having a trigger warning the other aspect of it is kind of a little bit of the story itself is the by editing we are banishing the demons that were in coded into a true writing so that’s another perspective on it but this whole idea of like hearing that voice behind me saying you know a week and just didn’t you get this. All right now that’s really it’s coming from when I’m editing I’m editing and free Minds the first mind is the mind of the editor and I’m looking at compelling story proper grammar all of that artifice mechanics structure then I’m also looking and thinking and reading it from the mind of the reader you know the reader has no idea about the story and what’s to come or what’s gone into it or where it’s come from they’re just taking it at face value then I’m reading from the mind of the writer the author in their voice where they’re coming from so I think that’s really like you know what the the depth in the intensity of the story and then reading with all three of those mines through all of this it’s not really surprised you know I was having. Like you know at that point in the story The Mention Of going and you know doing some speed to get the story done it wasn’t no wonder that you know it’s like I’m I’ll be 50 this year I’m not getting on any skateboard but I’m cut that itch to get back on the board and steel. fastest around me and everything and it’s it’s due to be a versus nature of the editing and it’s also a testament to the quality of the writing storytelling well well I have to say that the character situation I think that if that wasn’t that the moment that I that I have the epiphany of what I had to do I mean it’s been my intention to be like okay if I wouldn’t wish I always say I don’t wish reading this book on my worst enemy but I have to I have to impose it upon Humanity because if I don’t impose this then everything that’s in there that is the evil dark side of the force is going to impose itself without resistance so it’s kind of like you know when it goes back to something I said when I was first starting to just come out about any of this stuff to anybody I I said I said dissemble a friend at one point is if you know what I don’t think I want to tell my story because I feel like I’m I’m the turd in the punch bowl and I am and they said no dude don’t worry about it you’re the punch in the turbo that’s perfect so on that note that the punching that your balls the hearing about you got your experience with this I said okay I’m going to break off break out some of my Bitcoin Holdings and sell it off and get you booked on a session with my one of my Tantra can the initiate Rick’s is Rhoda Jordan for a personal contract counseling session to sort of massage your shoulders a bit while you’re in the ring fighting with this material and you don’t know no no pressure to to to give her a call it like a you mean like her compassion bleeding through that was so embracing that I could just float away on I don’t have to say anything full disclosure we are not being a we’re not we’re not an infomercial but anything you know you like to say that is just factual from experience about that just so people know hey look I want I want I want Wilhelm to be very very supported this process because and I should say before you before you do share we like to share I will put this in context to my own my own journey of actually writing this and I say this a lot I say I make this and make this point to people when I give them advice when they’re having a Dark Night of the soul and they feel like they’re being attacked by everything inside of them everything outside of them is a look when you when you I said make this analogy to let’s say if you were in that you know a Nazi concentration camp right and you figured I would say you were going to not sit just bear with me for a moment here but if you were in a Nazi concentration camp and you were able to discover some weakness in the facility so that you could actually start to carve your way out or start to have an escape plan or start to somehow get Leverage get an upper hand the moment that you become the moment that you set off that that alarm or set off that awareness in your captors in the guards who are keeping him holding you captive as soon as they know that you have an upper hand that you have some form of intelligence or some form of power that could be that could be used to organize other people or two could be used to create a a Revolt or somehow Break Free that’s when at that moment of their discovery of your upper hand or your potential power that’s when they go after you and they’ve date they they gang up on you and they start to put their more sophisticated officers on you to watch you or to surveil you are too for you or to destroy you so there is this what I would call a joint with this term like that the shamans dilemma I guess if you will was like if you if you start with z sting these entities these forces demons Paris the trans-dimensional parasitic organisms whatever you want to call them after this the purpose of the Sci-Fi that we’re dealing with there is this sort of effect that is if you were to just remain silent and go through the motions and keep your head down and in and make no no obvious claims that you have the way the means to defeat them then they won’t they won’t really attack you that much they will just slowly mind you and slowly extract from you and slowly destroy you but it’s when you stand up and you speak out and you come out and you start to organize and you become a threat to their their order and that’s when all hell breaks loose and they start coming after you even even more so that that all of that is to say that this story as an act of resistance against evil it is going to as gets exposure on any level as I shared on any level it’s going there they are over there in their realm and their Dimension and they are like the Goblin King in Labyrinth are there creating their tactical strategies to mitigate this risk and that is a real a real tangible real if you dare to to believe that that there is an intelligent force of evil working against forces of good then then it’s then it’s reasonable not just to assume that but actually and I can say for my experience like when I was writing this the bulk of it when I was given a grant basically I should say kind of going jumping back in time going at a at a chronology here going back to the year 2014 I spent pretty much the whole year spending of a small but life-changing Grant so that I could focus on actually writing out and doing all of that that book material transcript thing in NM and then going into the events in the past and and writing like what what resulted in four to five hundred Pages at the end of the year was time that I spent and and I was her rained during that process there was resistance against my Tervis counter-intelligence counter resistance against my prices are doing that and luckily in my my seeking of the pranic healing modality as which weaves into the story in a deep way the pranic healing modality I went to a a meet-up presentation and I got this pamphlet this little brochure that talked about the that what they call this therapeutic Clint aura-cleansing saltwater bath formula and they talked about using 4 cups of if you can get the Hamlet of a Himalayan salt more natural full source of the cell material and 4 cups of salt per bath and go into a bath and basically be in this the saline solution and according to their that the science of that modality you are doing the work of many healing sessions of many human healers doing energy healing work on you and purification work you can sort of replicate that effect by just being in salt water and having em so I made me think about what’s white Surfers orso’s in these entities are dissolved and they are inhibited and they are sort of blocked in in that when you were sick when your aura is immersed in a sit in a saltwater solution you have this this freedom and peace of mind and this this sort of votes like a barricade and I’m in and that was precious to me when I discovered that my immediately started doing it and as the Press during resistance of be trying to write this the scum he’s kind of like all over the keyboard all over my hands like pulling me out of the process I actually literally wrote the majority of this book in a bathtub with it with a nightstand that I was when I was in Lotus position in the bathtub leaning over to a nightstand obviously you want to take extreme precautions not to put any Electronics near water so I was in there steaming up the screen typing and and listen to psychedelic trance to keep me in this Cadence of flow and I was barreling through it but with as much of my body as I could submerged in saltwater and that actually like what would you say shit is short-circuited their connection if there was no ability for them to break through into me so if I knowing that I lived through that and I was like okay here editor take this with no disclosure no cabin in Torino Italy I I do I have worried and invented concerned about your well-being and where I was staying at it was at my sister’s and I was working on a stump out for and I’m so I had my hands in the dirt like every day for that would work on work on editing the book and then I would go get my fingers in the dirt and I’ll get my fingers to the church and then I would go and I got to caution you you want to wash your hands and dry them before working in electronic devices after doing the butt that was a big part and I’m not it was a very simple very basic session but it was getting that connection with somebody else who wasn’t directly involved in the story but knew the story and was part of the healing journey of that story and it was so like in the story but you know in in other ways and so to have the and also to to make that connection so the moving for removing through the rest of the word moving through all of these things that you had to short-circuit them take him through knowing that if if there’s any any oddness that starts to pop up you know I’ve got that person who is not connected to the story that I could reach out to and that was I really thought it belonged my canker safety-net Lifeline to have that knowledge into no okay if things start spiral I know this is where to go and that that once. Compassion Cloud will be there without having to really go into you know the specific details of the book in the afternoon cool well yeah and then end goddess blessed Rhoda and it brings a tear to my eye thinking about where where we have arrived at because in this conversation is really that the heroes are these goddess and bodied women who just seem to be so far beyond susceptibility to some of the other things that have brought down men in the picture and not from a place of love really I mean the empowered feminine in the form of Rhoda in the form of mfp and Jade and the it’s just so that’s the ultimate Redemption is is the the path of seeking the divine feminine and that’s in even even the even this gummies themselves like that’s all they really want to have they want the Gremlins want to be Maguey again you know they intended they’re just going to rip through everything until they find the means to be to be restored in tomorrow and let you know I’ve said it a few times without these women there would be no story for this book it wouldn’t eat I mean without intervention like with Rhoda without works like with Jade without development. Relationship without the understanding and. Desire to gain the knowledge in the openness to accept it and to go into the extreme this of it sure nothing other than like you no experience and to heal without all of that I mean not really sure like how old is story would have liked ended up coming out or if it would have ever came out you know so it really without that piece of the puzzle being unlocked and being not just put into the story but becoming the story we really wouldn’t have anything to work with and there’s a lot in that I am not just for you know your story getting out your book getting time me and like it in the oven in time connection Victory publishing the but all of that kind of secondary to the main reason which is getting this information out to people to not only kill those who have been too abused also to give the opportunity to heal the abusers that are out there as well so that we can finally move on to the next level of social amen totally agreed on that and I I I could only imagine how yeah how how beautiful or Dent if it would be for those who are abusers and who I could just imagine that this work it seems totally appropriate that this work be part of curricula that are used in psychiatric prisons in places that rehab centers in diversion programs where I know that they know really the when I was well I was doing the research for this book I had I had to purchase the stack of books that that I was using to help help me help inform my ability to frame the stuff and and of course I read the Dharma punx and Dharma punx to me felt like the the Noah Levine is the author and and he his past and his trajectory of coming from being a street Punk getting into having relationship dramas and and police story dramas and getting into spirituality and then betrayals within spirituality and then hitting bottom and getting into recovery and then becoming a mentor and teaching meditation in prisons and working with youth and that that Arc of a story as I read that book a nice and I really thought okay well this is the the model the president and if I did have to pitch the story to anybody and say how will you know Siri say where is this work before why should we gamble on this story well if we can make something as compelling and as as accessible as Dharma punx then it can be this recovery manual and it can be this introduction in men what are things that I would say that was was I don’t want to sale a king or left to be desired but I will say that to you know I’d love to meet Noah someday I have a an invitation to do a podcast that haven’t heard back I don’t know if the fetish if that’ll be in the cards hopefully it will but something that I think would be a beautiful healing thing for both of us as punks who came from the street and got into drugs and told her story and are now in service that that the anguish that he experienced in his love-life I believe this is the piece that I have I can I can be complementary to his work in the world and in through this hopefully we bring that we we we we really we take that uncooked that sort of festering uncooked sexuality piece that’s missing from a lot of spiritual paths or sort of confused and distorted and week we cook it and we marinate it and we have a feast and that Feast is a fully embodied fulshaw craeg here’s how we bring it all together and we really heal everybody soul and we make it acceptable to to talk about our desires and acceptable to talk about what we got to do to heal each other and to think out-of-the-box and decolonize the bedroom and figure out how to talk to really intelligently use the sexual energy to to heal ourselves and each other and integrate that in the spiritual practice so that’s just another another little tension Theory but I would say that I dare say that the success of the Dharma punx movement could lend itself as a sort of president to a tantra Punk movement and I don’t want to be the leader of that movement I just want to be the messenger and so the real leader is to me or Jade and Rhoda and the other and of course sufiyana who you will you read about and we didn’t even go there but I’ll let that be part of their the Cliffhanger for this conversation and we’ll wrap up where we’re bit over time so well I’m thank you thank you thank you so much this really it was even a million times more revelatory and Injustice and Redemptive for me to have this call with you now in this process and it really is is invigorating and hopefully we will get through all of the fuckits as they continue to come up and we will take plenty of saltwater baths and not take any meds spend our math money on Rodeo sessions so anything would you like to talk to wrap this up and how could people connect with you and hire you to do take their entire back an avocado to make it into something ya Lili ya thanks for having having me on the show and putting up with me rambling about the weirdness of the editing process because it does get kind of weird but it’s that’s part of the fun of it and yeah I navigating all this little buckets and people are interested can get a hold of me via email Global Nomad way at gmail.com is pretty easiest one I’m also like if you look at the Masthead the front page of the good men project. Com you’ll find my email it’s a man email address there as well and are working on a book on if an author is interested in that keep in mind it is not a short process to be done right and you know from really delivery of manuscript to final products you’re looking realistically about 3-4 years and you know the smoothest case scenario which rarely have outside of God Mom I also do work with helping to cultivate and develop individuals creativity and that’s it was a lot more fun for me and everyone else involved it’s not as much but it’s also can I throw a curveball to your Consciousness to unlock your creativity a little bit deeper so I have to add one thing of that which is that if it’s not me it’s somebody is going to make you a voice acting star and a narration star because damn if anyone listen to this and we’ll get better out of your quality but I think you have an amazing voice and it’s always just a pleasure to hear you speak I just on the sound wave vibrational level and the wisdom and the care in the thoughtfulness I know it’s it’s coming out in this process and I’m excited to enjoy the other works that you’ve done and through connection Victory and Beyond and please by all means go to the good men project support the project do you want to just maybe say one more thing about how we really need to support independent media journalism the real the real mess up that is disappearing day-by-day you know we know of print media is especially journalism newspapers it’s rare to find any more websites same thing it’s a very difficult unless you are Facebook or Google there’s money isn’t there to support it and keep it out there it’s like everybody’s always complain you know for a medium sized Media Company especially trying to grow it’s almost impossible to keep afloat and that is a precarious situation in the current socio-political climate and if you have a media company it doesn’t matter if it’s the good men project ravishly or your Tango or anything’s that is supported independent journalism especially things that are working and advocating the end of these oppressive systems that are making all these problems for us support them with your words share on social media like comment subscribe join register membership if you have lots of surplus cash laying around that you just don’t know what to do with it you were going to just throw it away out of just sheer frustration send it to these media companies they were the writers with it yeah and I also know that the more blessed I become and my finances the more I will be able to take care of you and and sponsored more or you going to need a lifetime supply you already earned a gold card from me as afforded insist going to be at me because this honestly and I guess this will be that this will be the last thing right now for me to say to close this is that from the time that that you received this manuscript to this very moment if this becomes successful there will be multiple sequels and follow-ups already so hopefully if there is a benefactor benefactors out there listen to this and you would like to facilitate this process being celebrated then by all means let’s talk because we could even structure some form of you know Angel investment type of strategy if you believe that there is that there’s Merit here because there’s more forthcoming and hopefully we can just let the hits keep on coming if if if they’re if it’s meant to be so thank you again I can’t thank you enough and hopefully I’d say the next time we do this it’ll probably be as a part of a campaign to lunch this much this book so yeah yeah we’ll see what happens next to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com can cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple that provides ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com Damas de

Wisdom for Practicing Ethical Magic with Michael Bonner TPP186

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Mike Bonner Pic
In this episode I’m joined by my new dear friend Mike Bonner for a discussion about ethical magic, sex magic, consciousness, love, fantasy, romance, pansexuality, and much more.

 

He does a beautiful job laying out both fundamental and advanced concepts for navigating the color spectrum of magic. He also provides very practical down to earth skill sets and tools for keeping your magical practice on a healthy course.

 

This episode I know will stand as a perennial resource of wisdom to help up and coming seekers avoid the many pitfalls that result from unchecked egoic tendencies in all areas of life. This is a true gift of heart purification!

 

About Mike:
His super power is to help others discover their own personal power and awareness and claim it, through magick, psychology, nature, tantra, and self exploration. Bonner has been studying and practicing magick, tantra, and psychology for over 15 years.

 

 With the help and teachings of shamans, spiritual guides, gods & goddesses, psychologists, therapists, unbridled and fearless self exploration and pure beings in his life, to empower his journey of discovery for himself and others.

 

Connect with Mike at:
mikebonnerhair (at) gmail (dot) com
instagram.com/mikebonnerhair
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast episode number 186 I am doing an episode with a new dear friend of mine Mike Bonner who I’ve connected with my social media and is he’s been a listener and fan of the show and we have so much in common I was a long time coming to get this podcast done and we will be many more forthcoming I’m sure you will fall deeply madly in love with all of his wisdom and insights and really enjoy the subject matter which is really foundational to averting catastrophe and and and staying on course for a really beautiful magical manifestation of all kinds so yes again I hope you enjoy and namaste find and reach their own personal strength and power and to be better solves I did a lot of self-discovery over the years it just slipped through a lot of different different I guess variables you can say like through magic to Tantra through I just communicating with people also just kind of going back to my younger years just kind of you know I know that you come from a Punky background and I was in that as well with some coffee stuff and all this kind of such my grandmother had a son used to do this all the time when I was kid so I watched them to all these things and it was really intriguing and I knew that they were actually doing something because I actually didn’t really know what they were doing it’s like seven or eight years old that I care I don’t I don’t mess with anything dark like that I practice a lot of Earth Magic and Sex Magic white magic things like that just trying to use all that energy that I get to build in there and get to like thrusting into creativity that goes into music or I also do hair I do have a barber and a hairdresser and so a lot of it comes out that way and that was also a way that I discovered I guess kind of what I can do for people on they told me that I helped them a lot and I did I I didn’t realize what I was doing at the time when I was working on my client says as a new Barber and hairdresser I just was a very curious person and I wanted to basically just kind of find out everything about the person that I could not in a creepy way either I just felt that the interaction was so personally it’s a vicious open up to you so I I I tried to listen even even even now I’d like to try to listen as best as I can to what people are actually saying whether it be through their words or their body language cuz I believe both are and I think they’re both equally as important I think we’ve all been sitting in front of somebody when they’ve been saying something on their words you know are coming out but their bodies actually saying something else not just desire to me is a real test connection I think within that person solves so I started noticing that another people then I started asking myself is you know I was doing these things too and so I just started to really look into that and also what people were telling me about you know I could see them and work on conversations go away for a month or two or whatever it was and they live out you know this thing that we talked about her and that’s when people say thank you so much I guess I never really thought about it until that point and that’s kind of as a young adult I’d say about 19 or 20 so I started looking more into the different types of Magic the different types of Tantra which I didn’t realize I was already doing all so you know people have this really funny way of how they think about Tantra the nights I think a conversation for another time cuz that’s a whole other topic I guess that’s that’s really my intro all that all sounds very good to me thank you for sharing that apologies for some of the background noise right now but I know are so we talked about it before one of the reasons why I wanted to say hey we should talk about this around feel like something has been missing as far as really laying a solid foundation for what different best practices of ethical magic really are and what some of the the the core principles that people may may be overlooking and just anybody who is sophisticated it has a long-standing practice study and expiration going to various traditions and they’re all that always intrigued me so I love to hear you help us understand some of the 101 aspects of what it means to even embarked on the path of empowering yourself to feel that you’ve been you could achieve magical powers to help with whatever comes to mind if you call yourself different terminology for magic and basically I people can call themselves whatever they like forgot my my what I believe are the real foundations of magic is accountability and responsibility I think those are two very very very strong pieces of the foundation that also translate into into life. I think but when you’re actually practicing magic you know if you’re going to set out to do some kind of ritual or spell whether it’s something that you want to do of your own making and will or you know of something that’s that’s been around for a while or whatever is the intention you have to have to State your intentions first and foremost it’s one of them what’s important things to do even before creating a Sacred Space in a circle for yourself on I like to start there it can take 10 seconds or I can take 10 minutes or longer it is whatever you want whatever your intention or your intentions are super super clear and just try to be really specific and remember that accountability and responsibility the second thing I think you have to do always right after Arby’s just asked for protection whatever it is you like to call upon whether it’s God or gods or goddesses or deities or you have specific helpers that you like to use Envision yourself in some way than protecting you or something of what I what I like to do is basically I I I surround myself in the circle of these big Rose Bush’s basically with these big thorns and these really really sturdy branches and he’s really beautiful roses and everything from the outside can almost see him that’s that’s what I do and I think that’s really really really really have to start so set your intention ask for your protection and pretty much from there on you can start so you can create trade environment I would say either that’s what I like to do if I have the time on the fit something big that you want to put a lot into whether it’s something that you’re manifesting or or celebrating or whatever it is that you’re doing you’re looking for some answers you know what whatever that is you like also candles or Pinot pillows and blankets or whatever is going to make you comfortable to make you feel is going to be I really actually love to to listen to dancing dance select Lisa Gerrard, magic and you said is my soundtrack goldfrapp for me is another one and she’s an insanely powerful witch and and gives us spells and rituals in front of our faces visually and and threw her words and people don’t even realize it so I’d that’s kind of what I like to do when I have the time to spend on relief. Like I said I know you’ve talked a lot about how important it is to open up chakras and it is really important to do that through the kind of ducks are doing a breathing and end this is really really really opening every single cell and poor and hair and everything in this body that work together because we’re meant to experience a lot of different things and then people are are afraid they’re afraid of everything and it’s it’s actually quite a shame that so many people lives in fear of of change of fear of themselves exterior of identity which I think there is a huge lack of these days you know what social media being so so big and what it is you know I know it’s obvious to state that you know it’s a Time suck her and it’s you know all it does is it really makes people feel bad about themselves and in technology you know we’re more connected today than we ever were and we’re also super disconnected. Only with ourselves but with everything else around us you know I really believe I really do believe that there are three types of people and I think I’ve I’ve talked to you about this before been in the world there’s they’re really honestly I’ve tried to break this down to the most simple simplest form and inform me like I said the three types I think that are out there are aware people people like us people who are trying to be better through our mind body and spirit helping ourselves helping each other helping the environment helping everything Universe all that kind of stuff you know we have to be aware of the soldiers I don’t know how else to tend to say that and then we have the masses who are basically just these zombies these are the people you know that are walking off cliffs to get a picture of walking into the streets and they’re just you know they’re consuming and they’re they’re literally eating each other’s faces while we are standing right in front of them and they have no real awareness that there are doing this they’re just sort of this spoon-fed weird overgrown lump is of sorts in now and I don’t know if there are any if there if there’s any help for that. The masses you know which I like to call the zombies and then let’s just let’s go for the 3rd I believe that the other ones are vampires vampires and those are the parasites up there those are the people that just really latch on I mean it is what it is it’s a vampire is Parasite you know we’ve all come across the state if they want to suck you in and they they need to suck you into all that they created the but are you know I just I basically don’t really pay a lot of attention to that eventually they just get bored and move on so that’s kind of how I died deal with that I guess since we’re talking about three years cuz three such powerful number another another thing that I really believes and is that we have three different brains and I know we talked about this before I made you laugh about this but I do believe that we have three different brains one is our head which is the the Periscope with the feeding tube attached to it if you remember correctly. I just we can go on and on about it you know for all of our logic blocks us from a lot of things and it it also thinks that that it tells us reason but what it does is it ends up talking us out of some really good things also and then we have the second brain which I believe is your heart that’s pretty pretty simple that’s where all the emotions come from that’s that’s where all the pier emotions come from it’s it’s it’s whatever you’re doing whenever you get those feelings of of just being so incredibly insurance so happy and and it’s almost childlike you know these childlike feelings of swords and then I want to move on to the third Friday which is your guts and that’s responsible for all the the intuition that most people just choose to ignore that were frankly I think they just don’t hear it sometimes or maybe most of the time I also think that’s where are most Primal South comes from and I try to use those three brains separately to identify different I guess emotions that come from something situations that happened you know I think you have to be pretty clear about where that is coming from to be able to physically pinpoint if it’s if it’s if it’s all in motion if it’s something that I was trying to tell us they’re just not aware of and I like to when I get to talk to people when they’re sitting in my chair or if I’m having a coffee with some water or whatever I mean I’ve I’ve had some great conversations with people just sitting waiting to get my car washed you know all these little connections I I believe in synchronicity also I think synchronicity is is is a real thing and it’s a huge thing and I think that also coincides goes along with magic you know magic is a a change of consciousness within yourself and also be able being able to to change the rib that Consciousness around you it all kind of goes back and points to the same kind of thing you know when when we’re in tune we not only are better people for everything around us but specifically for other people and I think that’s really important and you know cuz the world that we live in right now is just like I said earlier so full of fear and and come and paranoia and I think that everybody just needs to kind of take a step back and really be accountable and be responsible for yourself in hey we’re not be a little responsible for other people to sometimes I don’t think it’s such a bad thing is to also from previous especially bad is part of the ocean that I have kicked her out for a while I really am not going to stay the name of this this fellow but I will say that I was interested in studying a a very accomplished black time trick magician who has very interesting thesis about the difference between white magic and black magic and into to paraphrase what one of the things he said it was basically that you can if you were if you were to truly be a projectile practitioner white magic then you would not attempt to influence the outcome really evenie evenie life of that because that would be so presumptuous to assume that you have the almighty waste God and therefore Could Do no harm and everything you do is going to be perfectly each of the life but more but more realistic see that that’s that’s wishful thinking is my any more realistically it’s it’s it’s a safer intellectual place to own that if you were trying to make any adjustments on the outcomes of anyone’s life your own & Beyond then actually physically a black magician because you are defying the the natural order of things and it’s all semantics my grandmother they were really trying to influence and actually make these things happen good most of the time it was not good and they did and they did it you know I’m with white magic and and and Earth Magic and sex Magik I I don’t I mean I guess influence I guess is the word we can use for now you’re sort of just taking all of this energy bill topping in one way or another if you know however you felt it up and then being able to use that into I don’t know if I don’t know if I would say influence I would say uh manifestation really some people call it prayer some people call it meditation whatever you want to call it I just feel I don’t know I feel like with with those types of magic in the lighter stuff you’re more of asking verses asking and kind of directing your you’re not you’re not really pushing for this this this intense outcome so to speak I mean there’s a there isn’t there definitely has been crazy intense outcomes with different things that I’ve done before but for me I can only speak personally I out of my experience those who have come out of liver a surprise when they did and then I ended up feeling things are experiencing things I’ve never done before I knew that I hit these other levels out of magic so I guess I don’t have never heard I’ve never I’ve never heard that argument but I do understand what what he’s saying by that answer or might my response to that make any sense I think we’re really getting somewhere because you know the simple I guess the shore most likely people who think they’re doing only white magic are doing great magic and people who think they’re only doing Blackmagic are also do it yeah I know I get I totally did I just have never heard it put that way I can only speak from my experience at all I think that’s where the influencing comes comes in the play is that I’ve noticed and gray like you said or black it is it’s usually a demand for something whether that’s a strong demand or a light one or or whatever it does that make sense what you just said right there is so pivotal because if you like I would love to have to be instrumental in in training a new the Next Generation magicians who who who understand you are not understanding of what the parameters of black magic are to eat I don’t want to do it or I don’t do it and do it for someone to trust that you really don’t do is like how do you define it so you know that intuition brain the gut-brain you know something doesn’t feel right doing something that you maybe you’re questioning to a point you know you that much then I would say stop I mean the same thing goes for like when you’re learning a haircut. funny things when it comes to Magic but also it’s that intention and I mean all four of those to me are before you do anything and I guess you know kind of going back to the house he was in a sort of saying that the white magicians are black and black or white and you know all of this is your job to be to be really responsible in in what you’re doing and what you’re asking and what your intentions are I mean it literally all just goes and points back to the same thing when I look at it you know I’m always very very very careful and I’ve been practicing the stuff for sale like I was really honing in on some stuff and then I ended up being a moving to the desert like I do know we talked before the last couple years and not that really propelled me into a whole other level of magic that I’ve never even knew I was capable of and that’s that’s what sort of solidified the the power that I have is things like I said to help other mothers finders in to claim it and and share my practices and what’s helped me put my mind at ease and not not in not just my mind or my brains and all three of them but but my my soul and everything else has is well you know I I’ve always believed this I believe that people really really really have to Value themselves and I mean really value themselves cuz it’s a direct reflection of how you interact with everything around you not just the other people but Adam Wilson you know that our sins and everything and I feel like a lot of people don’t value themselves these days for whatever reason it is and then like I said where you can sell you endless consuming society and in the end it didn’t they just bursting at the seams with human child basically it’s their eyes and ears are being consumed by you know the Kardashians and the news and the biscuits and you know just all this crazy shit instead of putting other things in in there you know turn the TV off so you can have the internet than the TV bundle in the whole deal I always tell them you know that’s a lot but I am one of those weirdos and every single time I got the same response it’s what do you do what do you do with yourself I don’t understand what you do explain to them exactly what I did or whatever I’m not going to I’m not going to tell the poor girl at Time Warner one network to the other all right where we exactly where when you realize that when you got cut off but if I could bring us back to where to elaborate on and I was going to say the one I love about how you framed the distinction between the white and black magic Continuum is really about what the ad if I’m understanding correctly and I’ll kind of rephrase this is like the step-by-step would be the intention and then the call the intention is to do no harm and to do good or to do well or to heal or to manifest positivity or something of us open generate so positivity as he has the intention and then instead of instead of imposing your your sort of self-promoting self-aggrandizing or somehow that comes from what are you but I believe in a lot of that comes from Eco you know about asking and asking and away and also just trying to coddle it enter to she also harness it at the same time you know there’s a gentleness to it and also the black magic in the darker Arts I find it very demanding when they’re asking its atom and it’s a hey. I feel like a lot of it just comes from the ego you know it isn’t that is what I think is like I’m going to make this happen this is going to happen because I say I’m a powerfuel I I’m this powerful I’m blah blah blah you know when I when I come to my own personal power I let it speak to me I know that sounds corny and whatever but I do you know I left I let it talk to me I mean the other day I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom and I had a really really funny experience on the window is directly behind me and it looks up into these really beautiful trees and I was just brushing my teeth tonight I got whatever it was I didn’t really pay any trees with the branches coming up looks like basically he’s like Kevin Lee really amazing earth Spirits they just look like these pillars with these what their hands up into the air in the sun was coming through for me to be able to recognize that as I’m just one daily brushing my teeth and you know doing whatever to see something like that I think it’s really Spectacular Now and Then that led needs some thinking and then I’d like to writing and then that actually led to sort of I guess you’d call it a vegetable that I said last night I didn’t even really plan on doing on from just brushing my teeth looking up and being just being open and aware enough to accept things like this when when the earth is giving you something when a person or another being I don’t feel like there are coincidences with the black it’s like these definitive I guess like miles to basically justify and validate that your accessory is working does that make sense other assorted from distinction I’m thinking trying to access my normally very inefficient left brain I’m trying to figure out almost mathematical or algorithmic type of thinking to this mechanical or robotic but I think the juxtaposition of the news actually really quite wonderful I feel like magic can be an if-then type algorithm where you basically about what is an if-then a recipe is an algorithm in the algorithm is the recipe so there you have it so it’s the thing of it that way I’d say where we are on this graph for this this these branches that are coming out from a tree or a sort of thought bubble you know this series of steps and process uses that the the intention now I’m kind of seeing how the way to it’s not like it gets completely Amorphis because the intention could be to raise a million dollars for charity which which has elements of it that are are very parameterize do you know you have the not be a dollar amount you have the the sort of limiting factor that it be for a nonprofit organization for some charitable cause that you would hope will be auctioned charity than it would have some wedding on what its value is what is what is a specific charity and what do they do for people that Community whatever it is you know animals once again to that in ten and then your accountability and responsibility to that attention to that make sense so the intention let’s say if it was to save the polar bears you would focus on the help and try calling on not just got all that stuff you know put the energy out there throwing out a million tentacles at one time you’re not quite a fishing that but like you’re trying to zap and you’re trying to get an end open these channels up and try to reach other people I’m in spine that. Sort of tap into their goodness as well you know and end end it’s all I can kind of see what the intention is to save the polar bears do to do all the stuff of course you know you want to be able to hit this goals and that is obviously important but I think that the weight of it needs to go back to what the what the reason and why why you’re you’re why you’re doing this why you feel so strongly about it to me that’s more to me that’s more important you know cuz when it’s with all of that projection and all of that even when you’re when you’re putting that out there too I just I feel like it’s it’s just better all the way around energetically speaking we have it well yeah because you could ask for billing and maybe it cost you a hundred million and if you would have just said get the job done you would have been really really really specific cuz I have been many times when I’m sure it’s going to happen again because I really focused on the on X y&z now I know I was really really really sure let’s go forward a little bit and woe holyshit all this stuff wow okay this is this is incredible you know I’m just asking you know asking for things and not being afraid to ask so I got all these two I got all the pieces but I didn’t quite get them in the order I wanted them in right is that make you know what I mean weather at make the Joker’s like you had your prayers are answered but it’s distributed you know they are dropped but they’re broken in two packages across time and space you have to like hang on to that key that you found in the gutter for like 5 years in that door that you can’t open that you thought you should be able to the keys in your pocket it and then reveal their working towards towards something good it was in a different order or it was just not quite like I said I thought I was even more than I had to go back and look at my writing it look at and that’s my accountability in my responsibility to myself and University anyway I know I mean I know it’s a little tiny things but things has lasers with the order of the universe and that’s why I say you know I will always go back to accountability responsibility and intention and that has actually helped me with those actually put those into everyday use all the time in my life and it and it really really does Century because I’m always stand under them sesef creepy way but you know I just I want to be accountable for my actions for the things that come out of my mouth which is why I choose my words you know in my tone and my delivery very carefully you know I want to be responsible not just to myself but but two other people of the earth you know animals everything I want to be responsible to the magic I want to be responsible to people are saying that that I you know she’ll balance somewhere I don’t I don’t I never considered myself you know I just have to kind of go you hear it enough times from people you got to start looking into it you know and I’ve always been really humble about not just like my hair dressing as well and it’s cool to have been able to the Catalyst that field my inch extend a check and intent ra and yoga and just self-exploration with my mind body and spirit you know and it’s cool like I said what such an intimate exchange that I’m having with my clients in my relationships whether it’s been you know 6 months or 20 years I’ve been doing this 23 years and I literally get to practice my magic everyday all day not just when I’m at work it seems to be more concentrated when I’m at work because obviously you know that I protect myself every single day at work at 10 in the morning I’m up at like 5 or 6 I can’t just get up and go like I need to have a really slow the morning and and just spend some time with myself 3 years ago and she’s like I know it’s going to sound stupid but really she was telling me that I did a really good job and I was able to just walk away from it and not be angry and not be anything and you know if anything I felt that stunted and at their age they’re never going to really have the chance to kind of play another way and I think that it was because they didn’t want to be another way but but what I was saying was she wanted me to be aware of it and I was but I didn’t I didn’t see it through her eyes and never get to see each other selves exactly how other people see us and we never will you know and so she said you know you need to look at yourself in the mirror tonight for 30 seconds straight in the eyes and tell yourself thank you you’re a badass and you should have really fucking good job. Cutting salon or if I you know help somebody out that day or whatever I got a phone call from a client with her friends you know after we talk after we took whatever and they are thinking I have to be really humble you know I’m not passing out and I’m not handing out like free I don’t want I don’t like unsolicited advice you know it’s so one of the first things I do ask people not just with my work and I could be the hairdressing barbering star that could be counseling or are you know just just helping people with magic just keep it really clear it really really really really clear about what your intentions are. Yeah that really setting in and like I said not in a weird obsessive way but they put it really does make you rethink your reactions or even you know have not having a reaction to something is a reaction and I think a lot of us need to practice on a lot more you know not a not having a reaction to something even even possible yeah yeah and don’t keep it on Harrison into some fire you know I mean I try to walk that person away from the fire cuz I don’t know I just I think I truly believe that everybody deserves to be happy it starts with ourselves that it actually it’s that needing that wants to become a better man for myself or and it flows out if you and is infectious you know toddlers but I really do believe it has to be that first and foremost thing you said it’s important to note that says in this some kind of an outline here it is said your ability to stay accountable really if we if we look zoom into that word we’re talking about accounting it brings to mind the notion of a ledger and unassertive bookkeeping and so the bookkeeping is your book of spells so if you if you crave cast that magic spell and you do you set your intention and then you you see that it might be going walk or something but you have the ability to go back to that date and you do it on a spicious days of the calendar so that you can know where to where to go back to it are you confusing software you can search for it but to be able to if you if you just you just verbalize it you may not remember which I constantly have so many different books and actually you know I have one that’s kind of a general one that I’m constantly have about three or four that I’m kind of working at one time always you know one of them is for my partner and I specifically for both of us you know one of them is kind of a general one one is from me and my interactions with yellow lines notebook pads you know like the legal ones and so I just write down a lot of stuff I’m not a writer I just I just ride a lot of things down your bullet point things to make things all kinds of stuff you know you you can you already know or you trying to collect what that smell is what that ritual is what you’re trying to do put it all down and then once once you actually do everything you can either form at it before you know if you want a bullet point the different steps that you want to do like I say if you’re doing a spell the ritual that you created for yourself I think that’s completely fine you want to give things objects meanings you want to you know do it do I’m all for that you know I don’t care what it is you use I like to use a combination of different things that I’ve collected throughout the years symbolize different stuff for me and also I like to use a lot of different crystals in a lot of different God where we going with this I’m so sorry Vizio creating your own ritual is what I was saying there we go and just put a little bit of the power of writing it down so you can go back and check on it and might get the answer you could actually addressed it you know you could be right in a mandarin constitutional freedoms and yeah right down all the stuff cuz I actually do have a cooking diary that I do cuz I like to call so and so I take notes of every single thing that I do and it’s also just really good to go back and review or you know even just to kind of go back and read these books and see you know it’s a really interesting way to tell my own story to myself you know no one really gets to look at these except you know every now and then my I’ll show my boyfriend are you know maybe I’ll show up page or something or two or you know whatever it is I share a lot with him the one that I have I’m supposed to mean I was just really cool Connection in the synchronicities that we have together having said that I’ll come right down and write down your rituals in your spells you know if you eat your your journey as a magician really I mean we do this weekend with our card since you know so it’s basically keeping sort of your own it’s kind of like a journal in a report card and a bunch of other things all thrown in together you know and then again I think it’s just an interesting way of contacting some books that are like 15 years old has moved back to the city of December to write thank you notes bass like it’s all me I can all you know I can see and I can feel that it’s all me but just to watch the evolution of but just the awareness and the openness because I really really really might my 30s for me were about being really open and I thought I was open and I wasn’t certain ways but I was so closed off and scared and invulnerable most mostly on a sort of an emotional level would certain Dynamics and I just was like fuck it you know this I really really really want to know what this is like I want to know what that’s like I want to know what it’s like to really still open and so I had to learn that the process of letting go look at myself as a work in progress as we all are letting letting go was like one of my biggest lessons in keeping things simple Letting Go being present I’m old I don’t take anything personally and I used to take as I was a fucking crazy ass young double Scorpio and pass shit and I I just would be exhausted and I didn’t have time for myself so I had that was another thing that actually made me focus on myself and go okay this is going back to I have to be able to take to help myself and I can’t I can’t complete all of my energy and all of everything that I have two other people all the time you know if there’s a limit there’s a limit that I can get especially like in a work setting are in a social setting is for a social and I am actually quite an introvert I really prefer just like mellow chill kind of stuff you know I was going to say just one that I would like everyone to try to practice is to just really not take anything really personally because ultimately you know I am the only person who’s responsible for my own feelings whatever they are it is a matter of somebody says something to you that’s true or not or whatever it is I get to choose how I feel about everything absolutely that’s one of the Four Agreements Don Miguel Ruiz Four Agreements don’t take things to do your best dentist that take things personally and celebration I have for you so I think this was a good intro and I think too kind of I’d like to just give you one more sort of topic to explore for now and then we can leave it also is a bit of a cliffhanger we can come back I think there’s a lot of stuff more to unpack future episodes so I think that would be good to just have to have this be the very beginning intro kind of introduction to to your pear diamond and I appreciate this is a gold mine this is that I feel like you’re this is such a like I found the end of the rainbow here this is this treasure all about is is beyond I don’t even have words for it I mean I listen to your podcast for a really long time you know any what you know and then we ended up messaging somewhere along the line and I’m just saying is that I’m very thankful that I got to connect with you just just even sending you a note that one time or whatever it’s just all these things that we’ve had I’ve always enjoyed them seriously thank you I mean I know and I can I listen to your show and I know the time of people that you have on all the time for me to be part of this I mean even just one time is is really cool for me to be able to share this stuff with you with you and and everyone who listens to you so I just want to say thanks again I’m super super green food you’re welcome and thank you and if they have mutual honor him and blessing and I would say yeah the thing that’s on my mind for you know something soon to refund a bit now before we close for this this first episode we something that is the sort of throws a monkey wrench into the the very elegant logic that we have worked together here to kind of layout in Spanish of the sizes is what I would I have explored is is sort of the how to be accountable and responsible and ethical with the desire to pursue or seduce someone in the how that well you were sexually stimulating yourself and fantasizing about a sexual outcome with a potential partner that there is like for me I have a sort of framework work checklist where where I do want to have some clear intention in and released released that monitor my vibration around the energy and certainly of the conduct my own conduct in the Fantasy Realm because it is I believe a a a karmic casino to be fantasizing sexually and so you got to be with what are your thoughts on that can be it’s murky territory when we look at what’s the difference between it all that well the grace World of Magic here so we have please take away about what the intention as you know see if you see incredible person whether that be attached that’s that’s usually the person you want to buy what is the most important question is he this and it hit me the right way whatever it is you know like I said that’s really really ask yourself why practice is a bunch a lot of different things are where they are on a spiritual level you know versus someone who isn’t that all I mean to did you did you have liked it with your question were you thinking more about someone who is more open and spiritually aware or in touch with you know themselves and everything around them or are you speaking of just sort of like more social let me have I guess I’ll share with you a little bit of a little bit of intimate details about how I solely what year is this to me I feel like this I very very rarely use pornography of any kind as the visual aid or stimulant for myself because you know when I was a lot younger and a lot hornier and a lot less sophisticated spiritually I would say if I dare say then he was just fodder but the thing is what I and I was also jaculating constantly without any so and that was because of the Paradigm that that I was them at that that area of acid images of human consciousness in the West the surface ship that we’ve talked about before it right so that said to me that what I like what I know now if I would have known then what I know now I would have said to myself to have a practice more like what I have now wishes to Safeway when I fantasize about a future sexual encounter it really has got to actually in my mind be a very plausible realistic potential outcome with someone who is it is accessible by some believe with me and so I’m not really jerking off to dead people and I only brought enough to movie stars and people who unless I really really believe that what I want to do is structure my destiny to encounter them and have us have a mutual Very sensual erotic Mutual exchange I don’t really waste my Prada I don’t waste my see that as my Jing I’m not going to spill my seed in where to put a spell that has really no it’s not really a meritorious or whatever the word will be it doesn’t really it’s not part of my destiny so and this is just me kind of putting my thoughts into the into the original question for Texas is that I feel like the I would either they’re up there are people there are always a list of people who I’m attracted to in my life who are in weed ovarian degrees of proximity to me and in Space the time I suppose but maybe hey sup maybe some of them are are in committed monogamous relationships and therefore I’m also risking the the karmic consequences of of like astral home-wrecking by have a responsibility in that situation is just about being responsible on a sexual and a spiritual and in a personal level and in on a friendship level if that’s where it is too you know I mean I I’ve had experiences with other with other people before and even if it’s going to be a one-time thing from for me or for us or for whatever it is I’m very clear with one wants if that makes sense I don’t just let somebody why don’t open the door. Not physically but you know what I mean just open open the door and let them walk in and when wander around you know I’d I’d like to say okay look you know I am and I’m really really Frank here I have told you guys before it’s like look you know in my mind I’m going okay I know this is probably be like a one-time thing doesn’t happen all that often or it happened all that often but I would say with hey look I’m not looking for pornsex I’m not looking to get off like I want to actually have sex with an nnn if you don’t know what that means you know really that I can cut if you’re willing if you’re willing I can kind of show you a different way of going out this an interesting really super clear that’s where that double fucking Scorpio comes in you know I just I can’t lie and I’m very very very direct and I will say that in my experience I have it’s been it’s been really fine with that and sometimes it’s been really great or like let’s say you know you end up meeting somebody and there’s a connection there’s a little bit of a friendship and then it goes there sexually and then you realize that’s okay I don’t want to be in a committed thing with you or I’m not you know any in a space where I could be in a relationship whether you want to or not that’s just you know what it is to be able to be emotionally irresponsible not to yourself and accountability to the other person as well and yourself I want to have a really good hopefully intense on whatever level sexual experience with somebody that’s problem with most men is that most people I would say in general but they’re just so used to getting off by using corn by using this by using whatever and I just I feel like it when you get it really really really in tune with yourself you’re going back to say it with what you were saying like I just don’t want to spill my seed and then wasted I I feel the same way but at the same time like there have been several times were the sex that I have with my boyfriend my actual partner is incredible and it just keeps getting better and better and better and sometimes I mean we don’t set out for this but like it will end up coming like six times over you know some hours or whatever it is and it’s like holyfuck like Jesus Christ and then you know it’s almost like that sort of Monex states where you just had sex had nowhere you everything just is talking to you the leaves it wasn’t just getting off you guys were able to connect on levels where you really took each other separately and together to other places I mean this I have had some experience with this man his name is Johnny Ray he’s he’s really seriously the best person I’ve ever been with I’ve never been with anybody like him he has experience in the matter with him have been just utterly mind-blowingly shocking in a really good way swear he’s actually aided me in seeing certain things while doing sex magick and while doing some other stuff like that I’d like that I actually saw even though my eyes were closed I saw these things I went places you know really interesting and I took a long time to kind of develop but like I I I don’t know I I find again I just think that like you don’t you just say you have to really be responsible but it do whatever is right for you is what I’m saying like I said if if you’re if you’re in a situation where if it feels right that that you’re going to come again then go for it you know if you can try that you don’t try to do all that cuz that’s because it makes the experience more intense and there’s so much more than just like I said then getting off you know another program to do and and there are a lot of times to ejaculate at all and still have an equally razee go to experience you know a lot of full body in touch with your actual magic right there you know well I think on that note I don’t think we could end on a better a better note in a better place to conclude I think that really is a great a great introduction and this is this smoking hot material and I can’t wait to to keep exploring I’m more of this and zooming into various aspects so for now we’ll see it are there any specific ways that you would like listen this to reach out to you how can I go get a nice haircut it’s the same it’s Mike Bonner hair so m i k e b o n n e r and then hair hair at gmail.com on Instagram I do tarot readings to I don’t claim the psychic I’m not really really really try to connect with people on listen to them that’s what I try to do this first and foremost well I got to say it has been an absolute treat and Prejudice is like such a bicycle synchronistic to be able to just have this Pockets out there than have it find people and then and then all the sudden we’re we’re already talking when you’re adding a lot to to this this archive this is sort of the akashic record that I’m not curious to hear so thank you so much again and I look forward to next time I will yeah everybody have sweet and sweet dreams and a good prayers and magic spells and we will help keep each other accountable and responsible and also remember that intention with everything just intense so important did all right all right I will take you with you Google talk to you so I would actually like to share and I now just thinking of it I have an example of a personal and almost perfect example of a white magick manifestation which will then I’ll create a ritual around this that’ll be done free for a year basically starts in November that’s the the month I was born and so for me not on the same calendar as everybody else when they do their resolutions and all that kind of stuff you know in January I mean frankly it just doesn’t mean anything to me November my birth my own personal earlier anyhow having said that I have been working on just trying to manifest and think about him focused a lot of energy on what I want out of this coming year and sometimes it happens before November sometimes it happens during and and this time it took a couple months and so anyhow I woke up yesterday morning and the first thing on my mind was what I heard was this is just the beginning and I have I just move back to LA from being out in the deserts the high desert in Southern California for the last two years I needed a break from everything the city in and then what not and are all the noise and everything that comes and goes around it that clutters us up so I went out to the desert and a long story short I really needed to clear a lot of things Within Myself And also physically all that all my environment you know that is so beautiful and quiet and pretty desolate out there but it’s booming with life you know you sit there for just start looking and listening and you can just literally see everything breathing, there is a lot of movement actually I’m in that Stillness so when I had woke up yesterday that that raise this is just the beginning was really really strong in my head and the next one was come to life on my desk and just wrote what was coming out so and manifestation for the year which is so cool how that happened yeah I was I was actually kind of Blown Away by it at the end of it just because I felt like I’d gotten such a good I don’t know I guess I connected with a part of myself and I really listened to to to whatever it is or whatever they were trying to say to me in an hour or whether it was part of me as well I don’t know the point is that it’s I feel really really great and humbled that it came out so I’m just going to read you what what this sort of white magick manifestation isn’t this is just the beginning come to life it is the real you that speaks through your rebellious Sacred Heart in this living your life not the monkey mind the mind is not much more than a swirling canopy of Habitual reactions your monkey mind is not to run the show at the moment it might have a lot to say and at times it seems very convincing but it’s not the one in charge remember are three different brands one that had drained brain scuse me the mines brain which I like to also call once again the Periscope with the feeding tube attached that brain is responsible for logic and reason number two are other brain is the heart the heart brain you know the heart responsible for our emotions the death of things and our reactions to things I believe is Our God’s are intuition brain I believe it’s also very Primal and Saul so it didn’t stink you know I’m going to focus on the hearts and intuition brain and remember to the monkey brain rest gets us into trouble and the additional thoughts and creative and energetic Awakening is happening it is so far beyond what the mind is now capable of controlling others might not like it because it means change coming to life tends to do that however it is now and the only real choice I have to make is how to deal with it coming to life means feeling treating the space and just doing it don’t hold back and this process I will uncover the Artistry of the universal Creator and creators I will honor the sacredness of Life by exploring it without restraint and that includes the flow of my feelings I don’t have to do anything with them other than Express them learning how to access feeling allows you to learn how to access intuition creative inspiration and internal guidance I have chosen to come into a body and live consciously within it even in times of pain know and trust that there will be also ecstasy and Bliss as the process of healing and Awakening continues the message is be alive there’s no going back no falling into old ways I have crossed the threshold from an old way of being in an old life and try as I might I cannot return besides it won’t be the same as it used to griever celebrate do both move on there’s a new adventure awaiting me now and I want even deeper connection to my own instincts my body feelings intuition magic and everything I will trust and embrace it and it will trust and embrace me in return. Calm and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition of sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple at provide ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episode if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com

Holistic Sexual Health with Alexandria Baker TPP185

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Tantra Punk and Alexandria Foxxcroft Pic

Happy Valentines Day!

This episode is the audio track from the Holistic Sexual Health instructional video featuring Alexandria Baker. We geek out on best practices for sexual health from a holistic perspective. We address the fundamentals of protecting your body temple from sexually transmitted infections, ethical disclosure and management of persistent infections, safer alternative approaches to “hooking up”, and much more!

Here is an info graphic that helps illustrate my approach to love and relationships:

Spiral of Intimacy graphic

About Alexandria:
She’s a southern California sex educator, Hatha yoga instructor, ethical luxurious natural beauty and skin care entrepreneur, model, and performance artist.

Please visit Alexandria’s website and Youtube channel at:

https://www.fromalexandria.com/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcTemJEFn3GVpGuCbJnu6Yg

AI Generated Transcription:
(Want to help with corrections? Please contact me to learn about rewards for your efforts!)

Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear beloved Smoke on the township on podcast episode number 185 I’m doing an episode to commemorate Valentine’s Day I have a the audio track from a video that I did with alexandrea Foxcroft and it is to sex Geeks talking about how to have holistic Sexual Health considering many factors of what’s going on on the surface of the virology of sexually transmitted infections and also the psychology of relationships and the building of intimacy and various stages that can help help to prevent disease and unwanted attachments and really it’s it’s based off of something that I’ve called the spiral of intimacy in the past and I will include the graphic in the the episode pages is a graphic that I like to use to give people more opportunity to think out of the think out of the box when it comes to do the bedroom in really how to protect your body Temple how to be smart and safe and have a safe and sane Valentine’s Day so hope you enjoy it on this day do you want to talk about what now what are some of the standard kind of approaches to teaching safer sex practices it’s been in my life evolved since the real big HIV early days and you know now we have these superbugs that are you know antibiotic-resistant and so there’s a whole new threat landscape that I need to be educated about so yeah wait what are you what are some some basics from the field so I grew up in a private school and semi-synthetic sex education was very minimal it was taught in a class called marriage and family and it was pretty much one day of if you have unprotected sex you are exposing yourself to the risk of Gonorrhea chlamydia herpes HIV and the emotional distress that will come from knowing that you had sex outside of the Sacred vows of marriage and we didn’t get that education on what to do to prevent STDs or STIs and fortunately in public school systems many across the country they do give an overview of okay if you you if you were going to choose to have sex here is hot what you can do to stay safe this is a condom this is how you put it on using some sort of genital proxy like I like a banana or maybe eat something that’s in another thing that’s in the shape of a penis so that you can see how you unroll it and put it on and I didn’t have that education myself this is just from talking to friends and talk and text for its how this is what what these classes are like but we still don’t discuss what pleasure is and how to have an experience that is beneficial and positive for all parties involved and so that’s where I would like to see our next step of sex education come in and very infrequently do we talked about oral barriers which are just as important as using condoms for men and condoms for vaginas and these are important components to bring into the sexual conversation so that we can stay safe and stay healthy even have pleasure while doing it and yeah we love that so that’s that’s really important and I would love to shift the conversation from when you get an STD this is bad you did something that’s wrong too things happen I get colds I’m sure you’ve had the flu before it’s an illness and with a lot of these STDs and STIs you can take an antibiotic get a shot we had medication that allows you to live a life that’s fairly normal or very close to normal if not just as normal as before you were diagnosed with this STD or STI and so it’s not this horrible life ending thing and to pull back on that shame in that stigma will be fantastic and that also comes from being more comfortable with talking about it and be more comfortable talking about it with friends or with Partners or people that you’re thinking of having sex with just to normalize that dialogue more and start talking about condoms and start talking about the different kinds of protection that you’ll use and it can even be discussed in a sexy way like I’ve certainly had a bit of metal for play with talking about okay play well all by my favorite kinds of condom and you buy your favorite kind of condom and we’ll see what feels better and we’ll see what we like that’s like that it can be a little PC thing definitely definitely won’t I feel like this is the the kind of attitude approach this really a valley re-evaluating and really honoring the gift that condoms are you know in history of the world I can commiserate with the masculine perspective that it can sometimes make it can sometimes interrupt cycles of arousal and make make arousal difficult to achieve or to sustain that usually affecting people as they get a little bit older and it’s not so much of a big deal younger but then you know there’s a million excuses for why people want to be inconsistent in their their practices which is where you get in trouble you know is is to make poor decisions and so there’s that there’s that potential issue is also just the idea some people say wearing a condom is like wearing a ring gear in the shower you know that me and this bring out some of the heating stuff at Big O’s on and there’s excuse excuses and this is what I want to say and talk to you about a little bit so I see fluid bonded partnership which is the I think the a sweet and sexy but also clinically kind of accurate way to see if you’re not using a barrier than your fluids are coming into contact him and you’re being bonded it at a deep level there and so it also lends that concept of like well you should be very spiritually bonded and very ethically bonded with whoever you were fluid bonded with because there’s a high level of trust and responsibility that goes with that so this is kind of something to a line of thinking like that you know what process with you yeah which is that a lot of people don’t really preserve they don’t hold their sexual health is very precious and obviously if you get drunk and you’re blocked out then even if you did hold a precious Steven capacity to having a sloppy sex with people while you blacked out so what I would love to see people have is this a deal that being fluid bonding with with one or more persons is a very sacred very precious very requires a lot of trust and a lot of Integrity to hold to hold that title because if you have that title with someone and they expect a high level of discipline and integrity going both ways you know you can’t if you were to share that food botanist with too many people at once that don’t have integrity then you end up reaching the purpose of having that bond in the first place you know what you say and you may have you met both have the same status of the same can you may both have HIV and they both have different forms of you know HPV or HSV and you can look up the alphabet soup if you don’t know it later but being fluid bonded doesn’t just mean that you’re afraid of everyone else and you’re never going to have sex with you when I was cuz I cure the you managed to avoid all temptation and now you have the Slate clean you know slate to work with that’s one reason to have that I do want to hold on to it or it could be the you that you both know that you are carrying something and you would feel better about not exposing other people to it and feel better about just having that openness with each other and that was another another aspect of it but to a question for you from this line of thinking it would be how how would you possibly help people get to a point where they say themselves I’m going to be hyper-vigilant about barrier protection with strangers and people who I don’t know and trust and I’m going to sample and experiment and explore the world and and have fun out there at parties and you know wherever out in the wild you know get the freak on and have your fun while doing it every pleasure while doing it but having that consistent barrier practice them and knowing you put gloves on at the cellar bar and I think at home you take the clothes I do get what you’re saying and if I’m hearing you correctly from your point of view it’s like if you want to go out and be freaky and have fun like that at sex exploration do it be safe without it be smart use protection and in that relationship where you are more committed and you know each other sexual histories and you’ve had that discussion so that you are aware of the risks involved you can remove this barrier so that you can reap the rewards of having sex without needing to use a condom and I am very much of the camp that when you have sex with someone especially when you are fluid bonding having sex without barriers you are establishing a spiritual connection you are allowing yourself to enter their energetic fields and exchange that energy and receive their energy and give your energy and to do that I like to have a sense of who that person is and what they bringing with him and giving to me so that I can share with them something that’s really important and sacred to me which is my my Sexual Energy I find that exchanged very sacred and very important and with the reward of having really good fulfilling sex with someone that I trust and I have that intimacy with also comes the risk of potential pregnancy with certain people or potentially getting a venereal disease and that’s why it’s really important when you decide to remove the barriers to already have that trust and that knowledge established like getting STD tests had that conversation allow that to be part of your practice with your partner so that you know what you’re getting into and you know it you’re potentially exposing yourself to and if you have the same as to DS I said is that something that you to decide consciously together and if you wish to go out into the greater world you have that at the Clone Wars fonts ability to keep your fellow man safe fellow men women however you identify safe because we’re all in this together and we can slow down prevent the spread of diseases with that conscious awareness of okay I am getting into a situation that’s the heating up is feeling sexy I can either choose to be protected not have sex or run the risk of exposing myself and my partner’s to whatever it is that I carrier they carry and you know that with watching this you you’re you’re making yourself aware of this and I hope that you can continue this conversation so that we can break down the stigma of these conversations that might be awkward at this point but make him a little less awkward when talking to your friends about it talk to your family about it was that you who you can have these conversations within we can normalize it so that we can be healthier for ethical sexy people awesome yeah I feel like there’s this pattern of young guys in the locker room talking about getting the first base and second base third base and see if along that line of thinking is if it could be more more of the idea what to say that there is a hit if unprotected an unprotected is not as of the Food Lion has more positive sounding and unprotected sex like a scary and dangerous it invokes that that energy of fear but the I think we all know that it’s a hindrance to use condoms but there is a cost-benefit and a risk-reward algorithm you have to run in your mind the pros and cons with any person anytime and if if the real gift if the greater gift you could give to someone else is the gift of your body skin to skin contact all the way a hundred percent you know with the potential of conception being even there it’s it’s a that’s the real that the Deep this the greatest gift you can offer like you were saying if you’re going to share that it’s not going to be frivolous you’re going to guard that and really be measured about who you share that with and so it’s I guess the point I’m I’m feeling here is just that it’s a lower Stakes proposition to say to somebody that you might be interested and say hey I don’t know if I want to inherit all of your karma all of your jeans all of the diseases you may have that you know about or don’t know about so why don’t we start with having sex with a condom in to see how that goes for a while and then we can maybe shake hands if it doesn’t work out for a long-term thing or a family thing or whatever thing and then we won’t be having to either hide or explain something to the next person that we have that level of experimental kind of like a trial. You know I mean if your if you don’t if you had if you have casual sex with people and you’re looking for a long-term lover lover than basically you’re sampling the population in your having this little child. So if another reason to have like that at least temporary approach to consistent protect used to protection is it like this is how I kind of simplified is just that you know there are people there people who I love so much to where I would suffer with them by their side with whatever they were suffering with and the and it would be worth it to me and I would send I would feel good about an okay with it that even if we broke up later even if you know something we split apart and I’m like that for the rest of my life I carry a piece of them which happens to be some in a little bit of DNA code that’s a virus or something and I will carry out with me for the rest of their life and I will always look back and think about how the story of me having that was it I love this person so deeply that I wanted them to feel like inhibited to share themselves fully with me and I wasn’t like keeping them at a distance and that was like a beautiful thing and we shared that consciously as opposed to being like oh man I had this hit-and-run what states have a 7 do I don’t know their name I don’t even remember where they are and now I’ve got this thing I have to deal with and I’m going to feel like crap about it and I’m going to want to lie about it or hide it and not shiting you know that that’s the worst is to actually have something get it in a way that doesn’t feel healthy you know energetically and then cover it up and conceal it for however long and that that’s where the from a tantric respected the karmic consequences of Deceit you know it’s bad it’s is not just the physical test that you do know for all that so so what are some myths and misconceptions you’ve had to encounter as an educator and just in life you know think reasons why people are four ways that people are or not taking things slowly through I guess when I go to college campuses and I educate one of the most common things that was at first like really people think this is when we offer free condoms so so I don’t need that I don’t have any STDs but they’ve never been tested or if they don’t have a partner that they talk about this way or they think that just because they don’t have an STD then they they’re not going to come across someone who might so really even if that person that you’re getting to know smells great looks great has an awesome attitude seems really smart they may have an STD and STI that they’re not aware of her that they are aware of that they’re not sharing with you and so when you get into it sexual situation you’re exposing yourself to whatever they might and they can either share that willingly if they know about it or they can keep it a secret willingly or just be completely unaware so to have condom have Paw protection using oral barriers here just setting yourself up for having safe sex practices that allow you to continue to have great sex I hope have sex that doesn’t have that that shame that he might carry or that fear or just that thought of while maybe this is going to be the time that something happens and it’s I find it easier and it just more pleasurable when I’m not worried about worried about that I know that I’m keeping myself safe that’s just one thing that I that’s not on my mind when I want to be fully present in the moment with my chosen partner do that young and I think with another so a lot of people will try to get away with the bare minimum or something of the sort of a cop-out or some cognitive dissonance around it that only happens to Immortal people ordered on crustacean whatever it is like whatever like you said it’s kind of a a pretty weak system of logic to have its really self-defeating so another kind of myth that I think should be busted or explored at least it’s just the idea that all I get tested once a year you know so I’m fine when hey it’s really the best I mean that the best you can share with your that’s our answer for my perspective it’s a hypochondriac if you start out in the sexual risk exposure game with the assumption that everybody has everything and condoms pretty much prevent almost everything almost all the time and when used properly then you are not subject to anybody’s trickery or deceit or falsehood around that’s why I’m fine and I don’t need a condom for I get tested very regularly and same thing it’s it anytime you have exposure you could have been tested two weeks ago if you were exposed to someone since then and sometimes it takes a while for for your system to start to show signs that are detectable by STD STI tests that you that you have something so even if you were tested a month ago and we’re clean five months from now you might show that you’re positive for something it’s all good information to have believe me I looked like to know someone and someone has a working knowledge of the different STIs that are out there a difference between bacteria and viruses and by having the knowledge and knowing what to ask for knowing which which tests are often omitted fruits and let’s talk about making barrier sexy and what did I see after that because you need to put that in your your survival kit can I mean we can make putting on a condom a sexy thing it can be done with teething I gazes or really sencha Longs Drugs or it can be like that’s hard and dirty however you want it however you and your partner working together and so that’s more commonly used form of oral barrier when you’re giving someone head but we also have oral barriers for a vagina or for the anus and it’s something that’s maybe not used as often but I can also be a sexy thing where we have ones that are flavored ones that don’t have the complete XC taste so so how do you bring up the conversation about STDs and STIs with someone that you’re thinking of having sex with actually I devised a little graphical illustration that called a spiral of intimacy and it has a spectrum from low to high risk and low to high risk responsibilities of risk and responsibilities so starting with being separated and say meditating together or coming closer and dancing together and then the the sort of familial kind of back massage and then I’m more of a sensual full-body massage then going to erotic massage and then the different degrees of being able to stimulate manually so there’s a whole appreciated area of getting to know someone sexually through masturbation and it’s like GSU would like to know what it’s like to have sex with you but I’d rather watch you have sex with yourself first so that I can observe your orgasmic cycle and I can know when you’re faking it then you’re too nice if that ever happens I like to remove the incentive for that to have to ever happen because it’s like it doesn’t have to be a you know that’s not the main goal about it the more it happened so just don’t worry about it so have you know the fundamentals and play split so bring it up it’s kind of like I mean a lot of times for meat lot of times women have tried to mount me without a condom and I had to say excuse me if you’re getting something and I forgive them because I know that I do deeply know in my heart of hearts that their Primal body is like please impregnate me while I’m in my Prime and I will jump from do to do to do to get that need met as of wimpy know and I respect that is powerful and so I don’t I don’t shame that went when it happens but I do say you know what season you know this is a formality that we cannot Overlook here but I feel like once you once you get Beyond The Shame of talking about sex in general it’s in New York when it gets to a point where it’s appropriate like it’s not creepy or not out of context to just start talking about the stuff I feel like it’s really there’s been nobody in my life and in recent years you kind of vibrating attract people obviously have like Consciousness but also it’s like a are any day is a good day to have this conversation I guess like it’s it’s that it doesn’t doesn’t feel awkward to me because I have been at a point where I’ve discovered with a partner getting tested oh no I haven’t been tested her if she hadn’t been tested and then we discover the cheese you know she has a lifelong infection you know that that is as yet not curable and so are adapting to that and having to be a good lover through that that’s challenging you know and there may be a day where the tables turn on me and that happens and you know I have to do and work through that so it’s I think it’s always it’s always rewarding to it to do it in and do it right have the conversation and just set up the plan and the more confident you are and your knowledge of yourself and where you’re coming from and you know you’re selling practices like if I was real shady about this stuff and I didn’t know and I was like doing a bunch of shady things and lying to people then I probably would never want to have a conversation so I think that’s a really that’s that’s something that I appreciate and I like and it would be great if that type of Mines that could be adopted by more people in that there are varying levels of intimacy and places that you know you’re going to get with someone puts that you wish you could get with someone please set you know you’re not going to be with someone and based on that you can have that conversation when you find it appropriate FaceTime like where you are End Zone here like a friends with benefits on this level of the pyramid you take a step up here and you’re kind of like maybe you’re given doing a little bit of mutual masturbation and then you go here and it’s kind of like okay barrier love making Anna. Sir to take the barriers off and now you’re doing sex magick and now you become God got us and you left off into the infinite eternity of the whole because whether you have all these different people you know who you shook hands when they didn’t want to go to the next level or you asked him to go to next time when I said I you know what I’m going to that level of somebody else and you still have people all of these different levels and then you have all these people still potentially coming in for the friendzone infinite infinite opportunities for education and the and I appreciate that you bring up fee the practice of mutual masturbation or solo masturbation and observing someone doing so that if she divorced me I love it I love it and it’s a great way to if you don’t have a condom if you don’t have a dental dam if you are not sure that you want to touch them or be touched by then but you still feel the sexual spark so you’re curious watch each other masturbated so it’s a great way to see someone really enjoy themselves fully friends don’t let friends show me your style show me show me my show you the flea mind kind of thing but now I think people are we really got to get in that direction because that wouldn’t that would release a lot of energy and and be totally safe and and I’ve I’ve had that thought and I feel like it shouldn’t be too much to ask you know it’s like it’s a lot to ask for someone to have sexual intercourse of any kind that’s a big big ass and it should stay that way but a lot of those things below that it should be we should be really so much more open and then we can explore homosexuality lot easier that way to you now it’s like you don’t have to go to the freakiest the freaky places to to know you know what what you want whether you like to or not but to never have any exposure you know and getting to know other people that can be part of that beginning practice that instead we’ll get there at some point so any last thoughts at 4 now I think I would say that this is just a very rainstorm any kind of introduction to the report or the Namek that we’re creating which is the model and demonstrate healthy fun conscious you know out-of-the-box thinking about these these treacherous things that are really just tiny little pesky things that we can control a manager for smart so more and more to come and this is just the beginning and so too cuz this one out do you have any last words you want to share for $10 ideas here so okay okay good ESO one of the reasons why I was an eye roller about dental dams even though I knew better and I understood that reason for their existence was because the the price for each one made me think about like how much the fun I want to have an amount of money I could afford to have that fun and it’s just going to make sure I so but now as I evolve my thinking and it had just been I don’t know where I learned it from but but it’s been I think of sex geek hacker thing to use Saran Wrap because it’s dirt-cheap literally and it said very very effective for that you’re almost never going to pierce it even with your teeth you know you would have to really try hard to try to damage and break that and also because it’s so abundant in the size compared to a dental dam you can roll out plenty of extra so we can kind of like create really tuck it in the crevices between the thighs and really get it so cuz I want to make a mess on both sides and I want to have a broad canvas and I want to be all over the place and I don’t want to worry about it sliding off or if I’m cuz in you know you just get you know your mind gets in the way so so we’re looking for sponsorship you know in a research Grant hear the trip to create massive rolls like the size of the wear house and rolls that are flavored Saran wrap that can be package and ship you know that also buy degradable cuz we don’t want the fish in the ocean to end up choking on our comrades email come on so much fun for anyone involved now we got to clean up the oceans and figured ecosexuals and crepe more Earth friendly Solutions on going so yeah that’s a good a good prayer clothes I would country kiss that we just practice no barriers needed thank you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples up here by Tycho logical employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email fan at Township Park. Com Thomas gay

Empowering Sex Workers in East Los Angeles with Alejandra Aguilar Avelino TPP184

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Alejandra Aguilar Avelino Pic

In this episode I’m honored to be joined by Alejandra Aguilar Avelino, an advocate, educator and service provider at the East Los Angeles Women Center. We met there recently at a Sex Workers Outreach Project event and she gave a moving speech to explain a piece of art she created in solidarity with the victims of sexual violence.  Her extensive experience in community support work is truly profound and she shares some very deep and intense insights on the intersections of religion, sexuality, economics, and politics.

We explore the efforts and potential to organize male clients of sex workers  to show more solidarity and do more to support the health and well being of sex workers, and she shares some of her hopes and dreams for expanding the scope of services and outreach in the future.

I was very grateful to learn from her and to share a passion for improving the outcomes and quality of lives for sex workers through their whole life cycle. I’m hoping that her work and that of her peers and colleagues will be well financed so they can carry on doing such important work!

Please visit:

https://www.elawc.org/

https://www.facebook.com/elawc/

Alejandra Aguilar Avelino immigrated to the United States from her native Michoacán Mexico when she was eight years old. Alejandra has more than 16 years of experience in the field of Community Education. Alejandra’s beginnings were with Planned Parenthood Los Angeles as a Promotora Comunitaria. Alejandra had the honor to serve as Secretary and Chair of ALIANZA, the Los Angeles Caucus on HIV/AIDS in Los Angeles County.Currently Alejandra is the lead health educator, HIV counselor and support group facilitator at the East Los Angeles Women’s Center where she does HIV Navigation services. . Alejandra also provides support services to HIV-positive women and is an active member of several community planning bodies dedicated to the empowerment, health and well being of people. Alejandra has presented in several conferences at local and state level. Some of Alejandra’s passions are continuous learning, the empowerment of Latina Women, and she fights tirelessly against Gender Violence and Reproductive Justice. In her spare ?me Alejandra enjoys spending time with her family, hiking, reading and expanding her own small online business which she also uses as a tool to help other women reach economic independency.

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin welcome to Tantra Punk podcast episode number 184 I’m being joined by Alejandra Aguilar and she is the health educator an HIV counselor at the East Los Angeles Women’s Center and we sort of met at a recent sex workers Outreach project event on December 17th which was the international day to end violence against sex workers and there was a beautiful creative artistic kind of community building event that was held there and that was the first time I had visited the East last night Women’s Center and I was very thrilled to know that that the place exists and of the great work they’re doing there and Alejandra was hosting the event through the space and has some really powerful and moving things to say about the work that she does in support of women’s health in and sexuality health and education and so I was very moved and thought I’d reach out and see if she like to tell us a bit more about her personal background and about what the great works that are offered at the center there so I’ll a hundred thank you so much for joining me looking forward to hearing more about your story thank you thank you Ben and thank you for inviting me to be part of this podcast so as you mention my name is HIV counselor at the East Los Angeles Women’s Center and yeah I recalled that for a little over 42 years and one of the things that we always want to let people know is that this is a place where women silence is hurt for the community has their silence and so we decided to open up our space so that sex workers and their allies and come in and and have a safe place to meet and so I have been working in the field of HIV for in reproductive health for a little over 14 years and you know when I arrive to this country when I was 8 years old and one of the reasons why I’m very passionate about advocating for Women Health is because specially for the health and well-being and the needs of let me know is because many times Latinas specially Latinos who are aware of the services that might be out there to support them and so one of my one of my reasons for being an ally in in the the support of sex workers is to be able to avoid the needs of women especially one of the things that I did was I was a child care provider even though I was a child myself I used to babysit that the children of many sex workers women who were immigrants who worked up at sex workers and so I got to see a lot of the needs that a lot of the new show of the women and definitely a lot of them are children and so you know as I was getting older I decided to to look into this route of being of service to to the community by advocating for the needs of your penis growing up I got to see how special immigrant women for sexual abuse that shows fault interpersonal violence and definitely sexual explotation and when I started working at the East Los Angeles Women’s Center I thought this is perfect I get to work for an organization that is aligned with my beliefs and here I am 14 years into providing Services Organization advocating for the woman’s name well that is so powerful and thank you so much for sharing that and specially about your personal background ATS really moving to me I know that there that there is a lot of really strong feminist history and in feminist movement history around women sexual health and and support services and also and sort of sort of vaguely aware of different tensions that there have been within the feminist movement around 7 is sewer or not as supportive of sex workers or of women who were involved in the adult industry and some some who maybe are more supportive some curious if you have had to navigate any of those those politics within the women within the women’s movement about the sort of taboo subjective of the sex industry not necessarily you know I am very fortunate to be in this organization I’m very fortunate to have a strong network of providers that believe in advocating for everyone and when we say everyone it means every single person regardless of what they’re definitely here at the women’s center we do not see people for what they do we see them for who they are and so when we see when we see you know a sex worker we see them for who they are first and foremost a human being have to keep for them or what you would like and definitely no I haven’t encountered any of that it does not mean that it’s not the doesn’t accept them pretty sure there’s so many people that have encounter with you but I myself have not I’m really glad to hear that because I got that Vibe definitely that there was no judgment and no no sort of distance or or or judgment you about about that because it is so it is so much a part of life and people want to ignore it or people want to just hiding from it but it’s it’s a real serious issues I appreciate it very much that that you hold that space and and I want to thank you for doing that so if you could help us understand a bit about what the the most vital needs are of those those women who are doing work in the sex industry what are some of the things that people should know about as far as what they face on a daily basis and even ways that that people who are maybe just wanting to support them where are they they want to be allies how they can also be supportive but would definitely I cannot speak for everyone but I can’t I am able to speak for those who I have been fortunate and humble enough to provide services doing these are the Immigrant Latinos who work in the bars on the country has most of the time you asked about their needs what their needs are definitely there’s a lot of me to to provide them with resources resources and when I say resources what kinds of resources and support that they need to let them know about the right and to let them know that if they have been abused molested in any way that there is are places that can help them if they need just a space where they can just feel safe that there’s such a space about what we hope to who provides many of the women that we service the well-being overall well-being we are always concerned about their health their physical health or emotional health because we know that it can take a toll on their health specially those who work at night all we know that is if it can be difficult for them to to take care of that their help because the majority of them are also mothers and because they are mothers you know many times Latinas put the needs of their own meat how can I say it they put their needs before the needs of anyone else and they last one but they’re nice and so I want to advocate for them we also want to let them know that they have rights we hope to educate them about the right within the women that we service some of them are hiv-positive and so will support them we support them by providing resources for their help for them so that they can receive the services well thank you very much again for doing that work in something that I that I have been made very much aware of by my association with women who who would be considered those very strong feminist critique of the patriarchal economic structures and just the way capitalism works and how how this Empire is really built on on its own built on the backs of immigrant labor and and and from what you’re saying it’s also built on the bodies of the sex workers who who serve a lot of different types of male laborers and I’m wondering what if you care to share from your personal perspective what are some observations are inside sore or strong feelings you may have around what the what the role of men who may be there maybe they are sex buyers or maybe they are temps or maybe they are you know what and then you can any level of that economy do you ever have the opportunity to to Enlighten them or two to help them become more active in doing the support work for the for the women or what what is your feeling about the men who are just kind of you don’t hear a lot about the John’s or the Pimp C male a male and get you component we are thinking by myself a big advocate for making change in our communities mobilizing one of the one of the things that I do is when I am able to speak to groups of men and provide them with information writing with resources to do is to let them would like for them specially if they are consumers of the services of the women who are sex workers Michael is for them not to think of the women as object to know that there’s a story behind them that there that these women might have gone through many struggles am I making sense yes this is amazing I love to hear it to hear more about it cuz I feel like it’s so lacking it’s so lacking in that people actually try to educate them and whether it’s about using condoms or or being just mine. I’m being respectful this is Range Community and to use their voice to Advocate from them as well to use whatever privilege they have as meant to protect them to advocate for them that’s definitely one one of our pools and one of the things that we hope to accomplish is for for men to go beyond those gender roles that they are putting the moment they are born we want them to understand that they can break out of that box I agree with you yes wow so if that that thank you so much for sharing those insights that they’re really really touches my my heart and soul because I feel like I’m as myself as a sex worker myself I’ve been mistreated and abused and certainly I would have loved for the very wealthy the wealth of the wealthier of my clients to to be giving back and supporting nonprofit organizations that actually create a better life and more resources 400 why wouldn’t you why wouldn’t you give back to to like a trade Association it was helping you have a good experience in helping you get your needs met so hopefully yeah I’m excited to hear about what you’re doing over the other people will do that kind of Outreach as well so if we could talk a bit about the I feel like it’s it would be important to give some context for people listening to this what what the scope of sexual assault really looks like from your perspective you’re really seeing and I again am I feel very honored to speak with you knowing that you’re you’ve chosen to be putting yourself in a position to have so much exposure and really be very empathetic and very compassionate towards people who are in times of Crisis and some of the the most extreme trauma and current crisis so you could help to sensitize the listeners of this podcast to do some what it what is sort of typical cycle is when you have someone to say come in for services who is in trauma or crisis and in kind of what whatever is appropriate you know for you to share but that I think would be good for us to understand that means we started in 1976 and actually disorganization begin you know it was first bilingual confidential 24 hour 7 days a week crisis hotline to be able to service and provide support to survivors of sexual assault what we do is we have a hotline and call if they have just been assaulted molested or phrase taking cold even if it happened many years ago in another country we provide supporting the support looks something like this we we do Hospital accompany me to go to the hospital to provide support to the Survivor of rape and we’re able to see people all ages for survivors from a baby to someone well over the age of 90 we see that again we see them for who they are we see them as human beings Survivor and we are basically there to support them we allow them to have a safe safe space to come in and speak support when and if they’re ready mix someone is ready and they would like to come in and receive support we can provide them with counseling therapy and again we never tell them what to do we are there in their healing journey in the journey to heal I said we’re walking hand-in-hand with them so where’s that the healing path and soul Moana singing about in 2016 I remember in 2016 we provided services to over 10,000 women and children on the hotline movie about 2,200 called so we’re pretty busy if ever since that Open Door hotline has never closed and twice a year would provide training for people to become sexual assault advocate so that they can help survivors they can do hospital but also so that they get the keys for the needs of survivors important so after all of this exposure that you and your colleagues and peers with organization in and near the community of people that you’re connected with her your allies in Von forcement in the justice system and that the hospital system and the the sword I guess there’s also the social services and Family Services sectors of thumb of the county and in local local governments I’m curious if you could talk about some of the powder and some of the insides whatever you’ve been able to kind of a phone some conclusions you may have arrived at just about to the patterns of abuse and where you feel like the most effective interventions can occur on the preventative side of this issue how to do there’s definitely a lot to do but we definitely one of our one of them nothing’s that needs to happen to be able to to end sexual assault and domestic violence definitely HIV we need to end violence against women and homophobia swell we definitely know that if we end violence against women we end homophobia we are very well and then into the HIV epidemic we are definitely going to see Alright by very much agree with that and tell me what comes to mind from me for my personal experience in for my studies and I love to hear what you had what you would have to stay from your perspective Which is far more I would say far from a highly developed than mine because of the position that you that you’ve taken up and and I would say with what are your thoughts on the you mentioned machismo that’s something that I’m interested to hear more about what what that where that comes from and what you would how you would advise people to deconstruct that that sort of some aspect of violence in and then also alcohol and Andrew role that you feel that plays or substance abuse and how that feeds into the violence well it’s definitely a collaborative effort of everyone social service providers to law enforcement to every single every single person has a responsibility to an hour in one of the things we have are you aware of basically the women from targeted community wengage and Outreach and education and what they do is they increase awareness of sexual assault and resources and domestic violence victims and their families but they also bring awareness and so one of the things that that we have here in our organization in mind you all women that can be women that are actively working a sex workers women for HIV positive Housewives just about anyone and they go through this training where they learn about their culture how their cultural experiences shape their identity with a lot of focus on the Latino cultures and Value Inn in the experiences that they might have had growing up and still one of the things that we encourage them don’t is to look at what what are the values of culture that contribute in a positive way to to have better communities to to make them feel safe right it in to make a change in the world and to keep those we encourage them to look at the one that can be toxic that can be done that perpetuate and we encourage them to to look at both and decide which ones they want to keep which ones they want to transmit to other generation so we start with that beautiful well thank you for doing that as well in I’m curious if we could go to the next question which is the just to the prevalence of alcohol and domestic violence I think is pretty well well known that a lot of sexual assault and violence happened in in circumstances that are sort of fueled by drunkenness and I’m curious if you have thoughts on to substance abuse and alcoholism and how that how that affects the work that you do and the the the women that you support but we do know that it art again you know what we need people were there as we don’t we do not follow up a model of trauma-informed that means we are not going to shame people if they have issues with substance abuse know we can help them try to get to the root of why they’re they’re using or why they’re drinking rice I can tell you definitely my perspective from what I saw growing now I can tell you that issues with alcoholism are very prevalent with the with the women who work in the bar and the emptiness sex workers because that is part of their work in order to make a living they have to drink with the client and so many women that start working in the barn and the emptiness when they start working in the bar on the time peanut they have never you know in their life they have never had a drink but once they start working out of their job it’s how they make that living and some many of them develop alcoholism that’s one of the things that I saw and so you know if you if you asked to do it that many have a history of abuse or trauma that it don’t even know that they have this history of abuser, they don’t even know what to name those feeling you know very bad idea that depression you have a very difficult situation for for the person you know when one of these again that I hate that I was able to see I was able to see because of the lack of support and empowerment and resources available to this woman I saw in a bunch of this day I still seen any of them Works who no longer work in the calendar because there was no support there was no one to assist them teach them how to how to make a budget how to save the money or even how to invest some of them and not only that but a lot of them ended up with issues of alcohol yeah I hear you and that actually comes at least to my next question really which is about what you see as some of the the positive outcomes and the I would say to be clear I don’t believe that it’s wrong to be a sex worker ever see for myself fight I am the part of the six work industry so there are some people would say well you just need to go to church and you need to quit the lifestyle and and and you need to leave it all behind you which I’m not I’m not here to say is this is right or wrong but but I will I will say that I’m very interested in what what six I think about the concept of a success story or someone who has overcome substance abuse or alcoholism and if they choose to remain active in the sex industry but I from a healthier place or if they choose to move beyond that I’m curious what you what are some of the pathways that you have facilitated or witnessed of of women who have become really empowered either is former sex workers or or or sort of sex workers in recovery what are some of the success stories that you would say that you’ve been a part of each other’s privacy and confidentiality if I can tell you that there’s this particular woman who is what after she became involved and after she was able to gather with other women saw other women like herself all about the right person for most of the human bean learn that there is nothing to be ashamed of learn to speak remind learn to Advocate Parker cell I was able to see an amazing transformation this is a person who now is able to speak up for herself this is someone who is able to negotiate pay for sex which I think it’s amazing to see this is someone who if she feels that someone is making her feel ashamed because of what she does she’s able to speak up she doesn’t know her head as she used to be for not just that but her priority priority priority herself above anything else in that include making better decisions when it comes to drinking that our decisions for her mean eating what you drink tea not not drinking as much as she used to before that you will forget to take her medication doesn’t make sense that is In N safety she she has been able to say she now has a savings account which is tremendous you know because now she’s planning or for the years I had to fight absolutely well I’ll take you out to other women beautiful well that’s that’s very good to hear and thank you again for doing that and just maybe a couple few more questions one will be going back to the the other half of the equation which is the the male role in and all of this into client role so I sounds like you’re yeah you have a lot of experience working with women who were in that that culture of the bar and cantina world and so like you said that there will be drinking is just part of the job and I’m curious if you if you could reach into the heart and soul of the the male clients and understand where they’re coming from and if they would maybe intergenerational trauma or or personal issues that they may be dealing with in and if we were to make if we were to all be working together to create more empowered and more conscious and then we’re healthy men and male clients and then maybe they would maybe this sounds ridiculous I guess but but I would love to see a world where where sex work is is legal and where people clients and and and service providers could meet up at a healthy juice bar or something or like a farmers market or something you know where it’s it’s not always in the context of of alcohol and that kind of sort of sector and so I’m just curious if when you think about this and when you work in this in this world if you do you have any advice for four men who are just maybe this sort of their kind of being set up or something I don’t know why I don’t know what you how you feel about just the whole the nature of that in of that that world of the the bar scene in the all that wouldn’t be able to provide education you know when I go out and we have those messages that week we share with with menopause sensitive to have healthy relationships with all the people in their life okay and do would you say while we’re on the topic of the Mennonite and I appreciate it and it sounds like what needs to happen is that more more men need to step up and organize and do Outreach it’s you already sounds like you’re already very your hands are full working with women and it sounds like that would be good for more men to anybody listening who has that the resources or the means to to do more Outreach Two Men and hopefully that will that will happen and I would say I just want another question just while we’re on the topic is if you if you feel like there is do you feel like a lot of the men who are of War buying the sexual services at women are they are they not really functional in their in their their own marriages that are on family life and are they I guess I don’t know like I said the other is there anything you can say about about the profile or the sort of in the attitude or the State of Mind of the mail client server or are they just a lot of single man to hoodoo don’t have a wife and that therefore they had they feel like they have to get through the day but with a beer you know with getting some drinks and inviting some sex and again there is so much so much change that needs to happen in one of them against the things that I be all that needs to happen from what I saw you know growing up in a very traditional community at 8 I was born in Mexico and I grew up in the town I was very religious it was okay for men to go to a bar in to go to La Cantina to look to spend some time with women right because many of them felt have to ask for certain things from their wives or their girlfriends was disrespectful and so they grew up thinking that the women that worked in the bar in the Campina where it was okay to have certain things of them right certain sexual things or even just to drink with them right again that idea that the women that worked in the casino or less than the women that are at home but that should not be the case that we can community that there’s this idea that yeah I’m going to go to the bar I’m going to go to the one with her right or she will be willing to deliver for a Spur to do and I cannot ask my wife to do that because she’s a good wife or she’s a good woman or she’s going to get offended if I ask her to do certain things when it might be very well that her wife at home or at home is wishing he will do those things with her because of how she grew up in this box that she was playing through gender role that don’t ask for something sexual well your violence violence that that if you are a good wife you would not dare ask for any of that and so that’s one of the things that I’m very passionate about teaching women again we let you know when it’s okay to to look for pleasure it’s okay to have conversations with your partner about certain things it’s okay to explore as long as you are both okay in the end it’s okay to look for a relationship with someone who is not going to feel threatened if you ask for certain things for your own pleasure well that is really powerful and I appreciate you saying that that really means a lot that really helps me understand a lot better and I hope I hope we can move towards that and and I appreciate the work you’re doing to create that space to explore and understand and and change the is paradigm so you’re so another question I have for you which is kind of this kind of extraordinary but I like to I like to do you know what some people call a thought experiment where you just think about what obviously you have you have some budgetary constraints and you have people power constraints but if you and your team or your colleagues the people you work within your organization if you somehow we’re blessed with the resources and the even just to say you won the lottery or something absurd like that but it was just say you had you had really almost Limitless potential or and Empower even politically to say okay this is all of this is all of the wisdom that we have and these are the proposals that we have and and if you just had what what you need to talk about investment and whatnot so if there was a if there was a venture capital firm that says we really think what you’re doing is important and we feel like that there is a benefit to society to have you you all have more resources and really if you if you had almost Limitless budget what are some of the things that you would do to to accelerate and grow and expand you know your services in certainly how I mean I would love to see since having been to the place you know your location I would love to see myself I would love to see you have more more acreage you no more land and something like the weirdest El Centro Farm was there some place where you can have Community Gardens in actual herbal Gardens in and healing natural areas and places for meeting that we’re outside and there were also safe and also had security so that’s just kind of what comes to my mind but I’m curious what you would do or what you would sort of dream up if you had almost no limits to what you can imagine wow there’s so much that we will definitely do love I can tell you that with a bigger budget we will definitely be able to since we will not have waiting list for four clients to to enrolled into into a program but definitely one thing will be to to increase to provide more support for the women that are hiv-positive because of budget I’m talking about financial support very limited women are always left behind and yet they’re the ones that love to see more help women’s health programs that are more sex-positive that are inclusive of sexual trauma Empower women to advocate for their sexual health definitely expand more men’s healing talking circles where they can wear the men pink and strengthen the relationship that we would love to see that but definitely if there was no monetary restrictions more more a healing circles or for women where they can talk about their health advocate for the health including their sexual health awesome thank you so much for sharing and I’m hoping that all of your dreams will come true you’re suddenly during such important and if I don’t work in the community and so yeah I wish you absolutely the best moving forward and hopefully yeah we’ll see each other again and then more more collaboration will happen that will be mutually supportive within our communities do you have any closing words you’d like to share and then also do you want to share the website URLs and any other links or any other ways to connect that would be great bilingual 24-hour hotline anyone can reach this hotline 24/7 the number is 800 5856 231 once again is 800-585-6231 and our website is www.ladwp.com org once again is so absolutely yes sir I appreciate it’s been an honor and do you have any last closing words you like to say is just a call to action or or things that you feel like if if people knew in NC could hear this voice than they would they would they would want to step up and and I guess it was before we say that you are a 501 c 3 charitable non-profit so donations are tax-deductible am I correct that we are especially in need of support because we have the only shelter in the mission where people can can go if they have just been sexually assaulted or if they have just landed on the hospital and they’re afraid to go back home or back to where the perpetrator or abuser is and we definitely need a lot of support for that our women’s HIV program a lot of sports comidas up with some sort of supporting in the dollar if you can share our website with others or even our Facebook page elawc please go ahead and do so we will be very grateful thank you so much Alejandro I think that was a really good introduction to all of the the work you’re doing and I hope that’s a lots of good things come from this and hopefully we will have meet again and and maybe we can follow up again and have you back on sometime in the future talk about some new developments and hopefully there’s there will be a lot more a lot more great things happening in the future so thank you again for your time and we’ll be in touch okay bye bye thank you for listening to the touch of Honey Pot www.entrepreneur.com can cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess temple in every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. 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