Monthly Archives: December 2018

Sexorcism the Tantric Opera Episode 08 “The Politics of Yoni Worship”

Let the women lead
Worship their Yonis

It’s time for you to relinquish your crown
Your warriors must gracefully stand down
5,000 years of patriarchal rule
Make way for divine feminine renewal

Brothers now hear me
Let the women lead
Get down on your knees
Bow at their feet

Empires are infested with evil
Demonic realm disguised as your top people
You’ll be tied down for shamanic exorcism
You’ll surrender all your power back to women

Put down your war toys
Be men, not small boys
Learn to love like Gods
Violence must be stopped

Open Source Spirituality and the Tantra of Crypto with Vin Armani TPP180

Play

In this episode I’m joined again by Vin Armani for a sort of time-capsule of contemplative discourse on open source spirituality and the tantra of crypto.

About Vin:
Vin Armani is a philosopher, serial tech entrepreneur, and CryptoSavage. He is the host of The Vin Armani Show on Activist Post. In addition to being an author and speaker, he has made his living as a television star, film producer, high-end male escort, software developer, art gallerist, pirate radio station operator, DJ, music producer, and motorcycle courier. He studied Philosophy at Howard University.

Please visit:
http://vinarmani.com/
https://cointext.io/en/
https://countermarkets.com/

We discuss:

  • the fundamental value and use case of Bitcoin
  • why volatility and speculation are natural and inherent features of the digital currency game theory
  • how the best and worst archetypes of heroes and villains and the fine line between them get revealed in the unfolding of the dynamics of crypto markets, scammers, hustlers, etc.
  • the greening of bitcoin mining operations
  • the localized crypto-economics of New Hampshire
  • efficiency and innovation in the evolution of technology
  • unimaginable innovations on the horizon in the developing world
  • glory and fate of malicious and poorly thought out initial coin offering projects
  • insights from successes in the entertainment industry
  • the energy that drives tech innovations, that drove Satoshi
  • bitcoin as an emergent property of a deeper energy
  • how people get shaken out by bubbles and crashes
  • thinking of losses as an admission fee to get on the ride
  • mapping the shifting financial times on to the cycles of change in Vedic cosmology
  • Alex Winter’s documentary on blockchain: The Trust Machine
  • How we’re lucky to have won first wave of Crypto Wars
  • Darth Vader as the ego taking full possession and the dialectics of good and evil
  • holding on to fantasy narratives while crypto is an imaginary good
  • watching a play on stage, studying the archetypes
  • not everybody knows there’s in a play, but are drawn to be a character in it
  • staying awake, self examination, and choosing which character to take on
  • Why you have to have an Allan Watts’ concept of the “necessary villain” to have an epic narrative
  • Craig Wright as Darth Vader, a one in a million character
  • Anyone can be involved in this global technological hero’s journey
  • Not succumbing to the seduction of hatred
  • The macho posturing within bitcoin forks
  • Why Roger Ver deserves appreciation
  • The folly of fighting over the name of the real bitcoin
  • Surrendering to the feminine evolving nature of bitcoin
  • Osho’s thoughts on letting go of the pressure to be consistent with your past thoughts, opinions, and conclusions
  • Star Wars as a modern tantric scripture
  • Ancient tantra as an open source spiritual technology movement resisting closed-source patriarchy priest craft orthodoxy
  • bitcoin as the immaculate inception
  • the perils of bitcoin maximalism
  • the business development ethics of cointext.io
  • the SEC and the nanny state vs financial sovereignty
  • intelligent investment 101
  • lottery and casinos as legal unsophisticated investment schemes
  • the merits of crypto crowd source funding via ICOs in micro loans in developing nations
  • how few ICO projects were serious about building projects
  • due diligence and educated investing happening through market forces without the influence of the state
  • how k-12 financial education would put the whole government out of business
  • fear is the path to the dark side
  • The ERC20 Ethereum token protocol and it’s founders reflections and projections for a better version
  • Craig Wright becoming the toadie of the bully state with threats of litigation
  • How healthier bitcoin forks should take on their own branding and avoid fundamentalism
  • technological darwinism and the need to audit the code that rules your life
  • cultural advantages that ripple through generations, communities that burned their trash during the black plague
  • the economics of market niches and how their ramifications
  • cyberpunk prophecies of the multicultural techno-futuristic landscape that we’re in now
  • hardening yourself against cyber fascism with the Interplanetary file system
  • lessons from Jameson Lopp getting “Swatted”
  • putting together an IPFS node with an sd card, raspberry pi, ipfs node, linux
  • Juan Bennett and the forthcoming utility of FileCoin, as opposed to proof of work, it’s proof of storage similar to proof of stake, staking bandwidth and storage
  • the power of storing and serving files as hashes

Independent Motherhood and Empowered Birth Work TPP179

Play

Laura Sermeno Pic

In this episode I’m humbled and blessed to be able to explore the raw realness of a wombyn of color struggling to navigate and resist patriarchy, white male privilege, and mono-normative love and relationship styles. My new heroine  sheds light on many of the shadows of injustice that she has faced and fought throughout her life and her journey as an independent mother.

She shares about the beauty and magnificence of her natural home birth and the incredible role her doula played in the process. She makes a call out for support of her efforts to study the birth working arts so that she can be of service and give back to the community.

She holds sacred space for me to open up about my ethnic impoverishment and we celebrate the enriched experience of culture that she has as a Mexican-American East Los Angelino.

Please support her Go Fund Me campaign here:
https://www.gofundme.com/mother039s-transition-career-to-community-birthwork

And check out these links:
http://www.madreluzla.com/
http://supermamas.com/
https://www.llli.org/

About Laura:
Laura was born in East LA, raised in Sur El Monte –UCLA matriculated, educated by her people only, from the classrooms to the streets. She studied Xicanx Studies and Spanish at UCLA, and within undergraduate studies she began to unfold her art of poetry and went on to perform original pieces.

Professionally trained as a legal assistant, Laura took a break from capitalism beginning of 2017 to both create and nurture a newborn, born July of 2017, and felt completely underwhelmed with returning to life in an office. Having had a beautiful, calm and empowering home birth, she is now on the path to joining other mamas on the journey and educating them as a friend and a doula.

AI Generated Transcription:
(Want to help with corrections? Please contact me to learn about rewards for your efforts!)

Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast episode number 179 I am being joined by at Laura cermeno and she is a sovereign independent mother who I recently have kind of bumps elbows with on social media and she like the kind of stuff I’m doing I like the kind of stuff she’s doing and just synchronistically around her run over recent posts you know I I got a sense of the purposeful mission of being an independent and Sovereign mother that she’s working on also to be a birth worker in to get sort of a community supported or our crowd Source funding of contributions so that she can step up in that role and being serviced in a good way and that is really impressive to me that’s those these are the kind of empowered women that I’m working to build the technical infrastructure in the financial infrastructure to support in in ways that allow for more freedom and and indignity really so that there’s just not this constant compromise and sort of pressure to find a man or a v hitch to a man or the family pressure of where is the this all the psychic external Authority from the toxic masculinity that that is just an economic privilege that shouldn’t really exist so I had them or the community comes in to support women you are doing this kind of work in my opinion the better the world is going to be the better it will be making the world a better place so I’m I’m putting my money where my mouth is I don’t know about anybody else but with that said that’s my soapbox speech for the moment and I will say Lord thank you so much for your kind of being a stranger to me but but being willing to come in until your story and share and hopefully we can get some some good promotion for you as well so please go ahead and tell us about how you’ve evolved awesome I just turned 26 my little Hometown is kind of bug predominantly Mexican neighborhood I grew up I am also from independent mom most of my memories of my childhood was just being with her though we know a stepfather just coming to play when I was about eight years old and still currently still in our lives but for the most part I did see myself as a child of a single mom or independent mom who is very strong and I’m really a lot different from her own background from basically a traditional Mexican home from from a Pueblo from a really small area and you still can’t just a carry on these very men Center traditions and some typical gender roles and very kind of backwards Catholic beliefs so I did grow up with with those beliefs and them at least it’s a tempting of Swing. Urinating me with those beliefs although I do consider myself is to be honest, I didn’t know what the word was but I did know that if things are unfair I wasn’t very interested in heaven as much as my family tried to teach me to cook and clean for Imaginary future partner that would have a pretty much rejected those things when I was around my extended family so my mom never protected those things onto me so I think that kind of help bringing sing both sides really I love you supposedly was your car is no my mom was a struggling mom she had wanted to drop most of the time and despite all those things I did Destiny have a harsh of bringing my mom was also flawed herself but I made it to UCLA wanted to study to become an environmental lawyer didn’t really know how to get around to that but ended up sending check on the city so you feel like although I did still have the tendency to want to go into the legal field which actually did end up going into and despite all that I’m an artist and a poet and a creative at that point in my life who did my baby’s father for years out of college be going out like I spent the day blush and all those things and I very much as interested in kind of The Next Step specialist inside after someone like me to kind of accomplish something like a dream from school like that I thought was pretty much bet I could you know do other things I guess and one of them was very much you know starting family so I’ll save you a lot of activism work at UCLA with an organization called occupy UCLA I was also part of the Bruins I’m going to spray quality there so when I was kind of a practicing their two sisters are there Mexican Oaxaca and they just talked about big mothers and so on one episode that they did speak about home birth and I want to listen in on that and they say they spoke to her mother her name is Lauren boy she still practices as a midwife in Los Angeles Pacific Lane Redondo Beach and she’s recently had moved back to Los Angeles from maybe around ten years of experience and work with communities in Oaxaca although she’s American she has good credentials to me because she was taught by my people if that makes sense so that made me feel like Asian is a language patient was a culture might be more than a lot of others who have just lost touch with their culture and so that definitely empowered me to continue on and I believe I did reach out to her before I even was pregnant so that I can make sure that you know I was able to lock her down because I figured you’d be pretty popular after that podcast so that’s why I landed speaking with her and she ended up being my Midwife who delivered my son I’m so mean I don’t know how to fast forward to now but the home birth was spectacular there was a point where I thought I’m not going to make it in the sense that I’m ready to go to the hospital maybe to make things easier but once my dual arrived I would say she was the most instrumental in getting me to finish with my goal of having a natural number is amazing so her name is Jenny solo it’s been a year and 4 months since my son was born for the first year I was full-time being a mom stay-at-home parent and the past 4 months have been attempting to become more independent been 4 months since I left my partner and I just had to revert back to the LegalShield because that’s what I had experienced in so I did not enjoy it anymore so that’s where we are today I’m just floored and humbled and I’m kind of in shock that I’m that I’m witnessing in myself hearing all of this in feeling like Sperry I’m just Gathering my thoughts right now because so much of what you said or are considerations and concerns that a lot of a lot of men don’t turn into when they’re just doing ball games and barbecues and video games and when I dropped out of that world a stint was very in my formative years in college was very much transform bye-bye feminist lovers who really put me in check and it made me think about and try to grow sensitivity to a lot of these issues till is it just a little bit just to kind of help if you will accompany you to kind of put my contacts in in this mix cuz it’s it feels like from from from one perspective this is really awkward because what is a what is a white dude know about any of this stuff unless unless you really cared and why would he even care and I do care because you know my I have you know since I’ve had I’ve been a victim of patriarchy and various ways that makes me very sensitive to other victims of patriarchy and the the healing the thesaurus cultural healing the the gender ceiling that needs to happen it’s is very near and dear to my heart is so it’s it’s kind of made me care and be concerned and actually want to I mean of all the superhero archetypes and all the vet like violet masculine heroic bulshit if there’s a way to be a hero that is not always sexy and not always is glamorous and not always has violin it’s really like how do you how do you get humbled by the stories and understand the need to flip the script and really start to take whatever privilege you have and put it where it’s needed the most and that’s kind of what you’re talking about that’s what I hear you know this is trying to to make it against so if you don’t mind Alaska this journey that you have taken I don’t want to I don’t want it to be gossipy or dramatic or anything or but feel free to go off if you want to but I am I am curious what and whatever way you want to express it that the breaking apart breaking up Breaking Free however you want to describe it what is that look like for you having can you walk us through kind of your the psychology of the happy-ever-after kind of Disney thing was that going on or where you you know I just just whatever you could say about how you how you discovered you had to come part ways and there’s a fork in the road it with the relationship and now you have I don’t know if you have child support coming in I don’t know if you have like what level of estrangement or or or sort of like a financial duress you might be in so we can get a sense of how best to support your super heroic efforts if you if I dare say basically I don’t think that we ever really were in the happily-ever-after although we were super connected by the idea of really like my miss both of us really wanted to start a family and we met during active this time it was funny how you see yourself as Waco White Privilege Connections in certain like moral things and kind of political things but our communication never built back up our trust never built back up I guess I reach some normalcy but I think what really set me off towards the end all the way I believe we’ve been breaking up for like a long time probably even during the pregnancy there was still like some issues just basically getting along then maybe just things that weren’t fulfilling and if she know we were to be honest with one another it was it lasted even longer than it than it had to but towards the end actually on my son’s first birthday party when are joined together mind being the bigger 35 + people his relatives came by we had just gotten the house you know he actually is a lawyer law field and so I was a stay-at-home mom at the point at that point trying to break free also it was like a great especially our son but things kind of devolved I can’t believe it really was his mom trying to start shit and you know wondering asking one of these people leaving you know in my home and instead of Nino I don’t know that being squash for like maybe my partner kind of getting a little bit better he felt like you know he needed to give his response or whatever because we’ve been celebrating him drinking for a while and you don’t even smoke was being funny and I believe literally every person was enjoying themselves operate on her problem not a problem that’s why I like sarcasm but you know my partner’s response was after I was nothing helpful I wouldn’t say I was being helpful but that’s right my response he decided to kick out my family and that was a breaking point for sure I believe I talked about breaking up that night will you continue to go to couples counseling which was something that we’ve already started alright believe he started much too late couple weeks past actually I will not go back the very next day my grandmother from my grandmother who wasn’t present at the party from My Father’s Side passed away from cirrhosis and you know I dealt with being embarrassed by my partner in front of my family and then you know another relative dying you know still trying to go to couples counseling and all that and really getting no type of support One account for themselves my grandmother’s Memorial came and I wanted to celebrate go out you got a babysitter so we can go baby dancing and relieve some stress my partner were not by being we’re not getting along with and despite you know me really being in need we did not seem to go on that Alsace you know decided to go for a drive alone and got donuts with a friend and came back or came back going towards my house now calling my partner again and ask them what his plans were and he said that he was going to go to a strip club instead of either spend time with me or do nothing really but he really needed to make a statement about you know me leaving him and saying that he wasn’t a pleasant person or support that that night so you know me leaving and be independent memes like I a deserved I guess for him to go ahead and go and do something as disrespectful as it was possible for him to do something like that and he did it so because I asked me and I also think this is going to be good for a relationship to it she responded what relationship and so I kind of like where’s my hand I would say there was definite self-sabotage there and it was all so liberating you know maybe in a way he know scapegoating him for his actions and me for you needing to leave but yeah that was a definite and it was just like indicative of like a huge problem that we already had had him something that I wanted to get away from him not showed it to normalize. To my son I mean I just yep that’s how that ended thank you so much for sharing that and there’s so much going on there and it’s honestly there’s a bear up there are a number of parallel situations that I’m somehow in the crossfire or in the middle Evan in some way or another where I get it and I will I’m starting to starting to get it starting to understand that that these fractures that happen in just the whole notion that we have of the nuclear family and that whole white American picket fence line two and a half kids and dog and a cat and two cars in the garage and in that hole Mystique it time it’s problematic for a lot of reasons and what you just feel like I don’t feel like I’m doing anything wrong right now by opening in holding the space for you to share this story in a way that will reach people all over the world who are going to have a vibratory emotional resonance with just the crisis here in because you you I’m sure you will write a book you will have your Memoirs whether you whether we’re kind of taking notes now and putting out a little bit of it now or if it comes out all later but this is some it’s it’s it’s a sadly tragic typical pattern and I feel like the the word that and I have this this it is I have this fantasy this utopian fantasy that we can somehow as an entire species returned to a dynamic where women are really super into into each other’s emotional needs and it in each other’s physical needs and in and even a Time sexual needs I’m not afraid to say it I will say that it’s not it’s not it’s not a big secret that lesbian lovers take care of each other longer and better than most straight male lovers and it’s just one one dimension here but but overall I’m just seeing that the the vulnerability and the susceptibility to these douchey patterns that can just be catastrophic if it’s just that I have been trained by my feminist friends and lovers who are female body and in that they’ve been taught me that it’s like so many women are trapped in in these fucked-up Dynamics with men because they don’t have solidarity and Sisterhood amongst each other to the point where where men are just think if they come and go it doesn’t even fucking matter because they don’t have any property rights they don’t have you know your bank account password they don’t have there’s not at this whole mythology around you know my you need to view need to impress my family and my family needs to get babies from you to put their name on so that we can give her so I mean whatever the race I mean dinosaurs say whatever but but that’s not even getting started with the racial politics of course just the patriarchal patrilineal you know we named We pre-stamped the mail the mail server name on the children and we we want to control the sexuality of all of all females because they’re either going to be cranking out babies that we don’t own or they’re going to be cheating on are you know prodigal son you know we don’t want the Princess Luna with a princess running off with the family jewels in shacking up and falling in love with some poor man if some other race or something and then there’s so many that are going on I don’t know if any I’m just kind of going off because these are the bigger patterns in a bigger size but like what you talk what you’re saying like this is very well I just want to say I guess in a in a supportive way as best I can that what you just described about your particular Journey with these macro Dynamics is I just want to applaud you for for you know stepping up and taking a stand and taking a risk in and going out on a limb for your own dignity and sovereignty and I hope that the dudes in the doghouse and he’s going to try to like not are you know I’m not going to be projecting my my couples counseling services on TV right now I don’t know what is the destiny is that I was supposed to have them but certainly some growth and learning on on his part and I hope that his heart is open to that and I will say you know if you ever hears this if you ever meet Smith at like you know he can spit in my face but I will still give him a hug because we can go and have her men’s group or whatever to bring it back to the world again just I applied you I’m I’m seeing a bestseller here already so take good notes and and when I will just put best best wishes after he comes you know falls into the 2 to the matriarchy and in whatever way you’ll make sense but from this point of what you shared now I’m wondering so the the leap of faith into Independence and being single and what is that look like for you financially and legally and an emotionally didn’t like what have you kind of designed for yourself is the strategy to move forward without move forward with a cup with a new paradigm for yourself of what community is going to be like and what a family is going to be like in maybe yeah I mean I can only imagine I have a few other folks I said who are in similar circumstances that that I hear from a lot but it sounds like you know you stepped up and said hey hook it up I’m doing something good I’m going to take care of everybody’s going to be cuz you remove by that so so definitely luckily for now I’m not going through any court system to try to get any reciprocation from baby’s father he’s pretty open pretty good he is providing child support although we have some reason talks about cutting back on that at my like probably most vulnerable time right now so when things aren’t perfect but I enjoy you know the 50/50 split that we do have I think that’s healthy for my son that’s healthy for me to have some much-needed time to recoup and kind of like clean up my space and have me time luckily I found a place leasing out of 4 bedroom house with some friends some really good like-minded friends that I am having you know that Community with and that’s 5 minutes from the daycare by mention the baby father not my favorite place but you know I’m glad that it’s going to work out that way I’ll east of the Prime Meridian Community me and my partner are going to have to be in a family no matter what here and physical demands are so far not really though you know I would definitely recommend for those who do have those issues like you need to go to court my cell phone for that system but particularly what’s going on meeting child support is crucial to start as soon as you can. I’m I’m kind of make sure that things are fair you know things can be fingernail that clear you don’t know people’s Financial anything until you really get them down in a way not the same situation for everyone but luckily I’m having luck with that I never had my own place you don’t like my own place but you know I’m on the lease or where me and responsibility is a double edged sword but being cool with that and being able to do it even just excited about that I definitely am now the opinion that monogamy doesn’t work I’m opening you know myself up and I’m starting to date a little bit but for the most part I want to maintain like not a typical kind of unhealthy ways where you know because you decided to like someone now they have a say in your top of me and things like that I don’t I don’t Vibe with that and I’m just trying to meet people were kind of the same way as far as Community I mean like food sharing meeting other mothers connecting online especially now since I’m one reason Kratom has probably for myself and I do see myself hanging out with my friends and kind of wanting that energy around my son as well so for now it’s it’s that way I don’t I don’t I don’t leave men out are you not going to go the same type of again yeah that’s what I am well I’m glad to hear it pretty much all of that that’s it could be so much worse and probably not that that much better and some of the stuff I’m actually hearing it’s it’s there is it’s it’s funny because or I should say it’s funny but I’ll say that the tragic comedy is that a lot of what what a conventional or conservative certainly white bread kind of patriarchal mortified to hear most of what you’re saying cuz it would just be the end of the American dream and to me it’s like the end of the American Nightmare so I’m actually happy to hear that I honestly believe everyone can find most likely find a little something a little bit better for them scary part is leaving I guess well that’s a deep study and and I think about that Austin and I I’m just trying to build up the most elegant toolkit of intellectual and emotional resources to help people kind of feel supported in these kind of decisions one of the things that I found was a great resources there’s a polyamory weekly podcast and I don’t know it’s been awhile since I’ve been away from them but they were gone for quite a while and they interview the woman who called herself a relationship Anarchy and non-hierarchical relationship Anarchist which was and she just broke it down so hard core in and that cuz you could be relationship anarchists and be rebelling against a store Terry and lovers of course but but she was even taking it to a level of like I’m not going to have a primary partner does not going to be a sort of you know a favoritism kind of dimension of a hierarchy at the way that you get with people who do the primary partner thing which I’m not saying it’s good or bad but I’m just saying wow this is the potential is Limitless for how free you can actually be used at the Quizlet see citizen in that system essential and and so so yeah I feel like a lot of the toxic Behavior happens in this sort of void or vacuum where couples are in this secret hell realm called privacy where people shut their doors and close your blinds and they don’t want they feel like it’s inappropriate for them to to kind of do like a sit-in strike and say no until you all resolve this issue I’m not going to go to work I’m not going to leave the room I’m not going to give you your privacy to tear each other apart I’m going to ask you present and and so call me utopian call me an idealist but I feel like that Sisterhood and Brotherhood and everything in between hood is all good in the more the merrier to have people holding each other socially accountable for for misconduct and for just micro micro oppression and abuse and everything so yeah glad to hear that you’re are more Collective household and I certainly can commiserate with the that next leveling of responsibility to be to be on the lease because then you actually have to be kind of like a a job site manager 2 or something you have to take on these others wish that we would just like it was just the land and the people that children got my anything–but so so yeah now that we didn’t answer we’ve kind of mentioned a couple times the campaign that you’re doing so now will probably be a great time to give you full space to just talk about what you’re hoping to get from what the support you’re looking to to access from from those who can shave off a bit of their of their means to help you get something blue strapless with your all about it jobs Aliso maybe a little bit over a week now I was terminated from pretty terrible workplace I’m I’m pretty blessed I’m leaving and you know now just thinking about the perfect opportunity to try to switch to something more meaningful more creative less to do with the government and substantiating pretty must have systems I don’t actually mamaw really believe in so and I did I I mean I’ve been kind of thinking about some sort of spiritual work with other spiritual guides in other folks and they’ve always going to tell me you know you have this play healing thing like soda spiritual work and what they were doing I mean psychic reading room but then I was like I don’t think so you know so yeah for the most part and I’ve always been a writer. I also staying so try to do those things you know somebody is coming not much but and then just speaking to my Doula I also met with her and she kind of walk me through the process and I looked up some specific trainings that I really thought would really help some of them are for certification someone is not although certification I hear this not also not required I feel like you know parents definitely wanted to have some sort of certification so why not I’m so yeah for now I mean the main when I like the workshop that I like is not a certification one but it has so much it’s called sumi’s touch it’s a workshop at his family’s touch it still see only do it raining Crown cost $750 and all of the resources are online so I mean you study but he get the resources online so I should be able to you know keypad and potential clients another big part of the training is actually going in on where it’s which you know middle Midwest most likely kind of mitigate that you know there can’t be like 10 people on the room besides you know family members or whatever so you know it has to be kind of specific and you know birth work to do with all of this and so I shared that those costs for apprenticeships just for one birth of roughly 500 each so you know that they’ll send me back a little right now so she right now because if not I’m still trying to get email part-time job to maintain education and kind of community work that’s what that’s why I have approximate around $6,000 like kind of a beginning him out but I think you know once I get into it’ll be a lot more feasible you know no longer asking the community but if not you know give I want to give give my work to two families I would completely need to know a free Doula like that’s my gift back after I completed some training and yeah I do want both birth Doula and postpartum doula certification so that I could help free during birth and then postpartum healing looks pretty much my spiel about the GoFundMe I pray that you get all of the abundance that is coming to you and I really appreciate the way your structuring the the perks you know to be able to be in service in and it’s really like a Pay It Forward kind of thing of people can help you out they will know that they have you to have their backs and I’ve known a couple of doulas in my life and certainly known women who have worked in the women’s sexual health field in the reproductive Health shield and pardon my French but a lot of what what they’ve been up against is a real shitshow and I just watch and watch the the mainstream institutions just chew them up and spit them out in the pharmaceutical corruption and just there’s so much real evil going on once you get into that medicalized anything. I am so we don’t know most of us what we don’t know about what we’re missing out on about home birth and having really wise which is an herbalist and and Medicine women who have dedicated themselves to these pads and if you want to talk about taking a power back from patriarchy this is such a one of the deepest wounds are one of the most I guess I would say for my perspective which is a really I really twisted for most of intervention from the the way that they put you in the stirrups to the others are so many things that I think it was just a total medieval torture horse or something else so can you teach for the people listening and I don’t know if you will get you know a ton of support just you know from from the audience I’ll try to get this out as soon as possible but I’m certainly going to put in what I can to help you move forward with your goals but I would like to just have you just kind of share with us for the record kind of what what is the what Define a doula and independent provide more of a definition and and talk about really how how relevant is that we have a doula on every block or whatever is the goal you know what I mean I really like its etymology like it means a woman of service or something like that would she really really wrong with that but you know obviously in the picture I get at 11 and someone wants to be there for you and not not just a service but more like emotional like support I believe that’s one of the most beautiful things, I didn’t think about needing a doula until it was probably 6 months into my pregnancy and you know what the things are and who could help me in the prices in time became very anxious do you know why but I just realized maybe because of my issues with my ex and I needed a more emotionally attentive person that just knew it wasn’t was going on and I will you not shave my ex still he was very much present and helpful I’m I did too heavily rely on just my Doula process so because she is entrenched in me a Mexican traditional practices of Reno labor and then she’ll sit does placenta encapsulation and she does feeling ceremonies at the end which are traditional Tim and Janice Mexican communities because they’re in the traditional to some indigenous communities definitely she’s very in touch with those types of things and for the most part I believe it was mainly her touch some of her words that are touched during spring surgeons contractions that kind of made them my mind go away station was about like 50% reduced and just having that constantly every now every 5 3 2 5 minutes like that touch that reassurance it was brief but it was powerful and I wasn’t seeking anyone else out other than her and I don’t think that if she was not present but I would have done you know the full natural hunger I don’t know if the goal is to have one on every block but at least four people to know what I do want is what to do what does do those are not the ones license to help bring out the baby anything medical although they do Monitor 40 days postpartum ceremony maybe their knowledge is that are carried out through very many generations through a special spiritual people spiritual healers family-to-family it’s not about a social-media thing although it is becoming one I am particularly wanted that because I don’t believe in science is not created by women about women I don’t think more people can know about our bodies than ourselves and our intuition far beyond what the cerebal can tell us far beyond what we can read about in nail science textbooks or something like that especially her mother is healthy with no complications. Things will be fine you know that science of fear is stronger than the actual evidence based science dualism cells can produce for you regarding you know labor and delivery just in the home so that’s why I want to do what I want to do awesome I feel the warmth in my heart. Nice and kind of my mind playing out to the cinematography of of what you’re talking about and if you are you good to go at 5. This is been a fast almost hours are you good to go a little further or something that is because you mentioned social media it’s it’s kind of I guess ties in with this kind of fun well I will see the you’re also talking about science and technology and and how might how feminism has inform my attitudes towards technology and whatnot so just kind of say briefly that I I think there’s a lot of Now new space for ethical hackers of all colored hats to look at the the big data conglomerates and monopolies that are sucking our private information out into the corrupt backdoor deals and just makes Orwell look like Bambi or something you know it’s like it’s worse it’s worse than I ever imagined it’s more Insidious and more Twisted in in sadistic never imagining and yet it also this whole moment we’re in with with some the internet with social media I’m I’m old enough to know what it was like to have to read a book or go out and socialize to not be bored a lot has changed I see this blessing and a curse and then obviously the curse of aspects are pretty obvious certainly anybody listen to this anybody is addicted to refreshing a need an app for anyting guilty of certain degrees of that we can if we have a hack your mindset to this situation than we can we can use a little bit of digital Alchemy in in in figure out how to make these systems work in in the benefit of the people in the benefit of people of color in the benefit of the oppressed of all varieties in and really it’s it’s the potential I think to reclaim and redefine Beauty on a lot of levels so something that you were very I would say there is a bold and beautiful about is the you or I seen your Instagram and you’re doing herbal baths with your child you know you’ve you’re doing breastfeeding you were flying your stretch marks and I believe there is a lot of room and a lot of potential to reclaim the the beauty of mothers and Andrea Lee break the beauty myth molding and smash the patriarchy in that sense so I’m just curious if it’s not out of my you know appropriate balance to to open these topics if you want to talk about how you how you want to or how you were thinking about and strategizing about kind of re beautifying motherhood in in the whole kind of plastic Barbie Perfection kind of thing I feel like my probably never fit the mold and you know what Barbie stuff that’s hot issues with my image and and what I want to see I guess then in a pregnancy in a major key for while I from Los Angeles I feel like I was especially at that point because I had been breastfeeding and things have been going so well and I was producing a lot of milk is losing a lot of calories I feel like I was like my body what did have a hard time with it actually was a stretch marks because they’re so dark for so long and maybe they’ve been fighting this year but at the end of the day because I’ve been mice like who I am who I hopefully have portrayed myself to be it myself you know throughout this talk I like what’s in the mirror like I can’t deny a picture for the most part those images they came about kind of want to win all those thousands upon thousands of pictures of other pictures are affected my culture I’m not just my culture it was actually an article about Latinos and changing the United States predominately do think Mexican and not the problem itself my Mexican culture I mean how could I let you know how can I kind of like I wasn’t cheerleading I wasn’t picky I was just listening to kind of like creative directors and and also one of them being my Village any Silva. Imo’s pictures I couldn’t deny that for myself a friend of mine. For my son and you know it at the time I’m pretty sure I was very self-conscious but I’ve ever gotten of me and my son and regardless I don’t think that you can even think about Barbie that have skated my son and there’s no way that you can deny that kind of love what I write in my diary and actually feel about myself sometimes I mean everyone has those monsters and it’s not it’s settled in the other thing is like I’m making him a photo with my son and it’s not sexual at all and so those types of conversations we were blessed and that my picture came to fruition through National Geographic so they actually were able to okay that photo and have it in place of the name of an article which I particularly make sense with the rest of the words in the article so captivating in a way it captures kind of like innocence in like kind of like giving like specially because yeah that’s what it that’s what the whole process is giving your body an alarm for a time and then all the time after that where you’re breastfeeding you’re also very much giving your body and your energy but yeah I’m super lucky that my Doula Jenny silver had previously worked with a National Geographic photographer and they were interested in cultivating raised images for a specific article about kind of power which was reshaped to talk about Trump’s America basically I’m so yeah I mean it away my photo resurface there and it is in the magazine July 2017 you’re after my son was born so that was pretty powerful yeah that’s pretty much a part of me wishes that you would just keep talking forever so I don’t have to help myself for like being choked up with tears right now and we like that yeah this is this is really powerful and I said I want to be too Starstruck that that you’re a Nat Geo and Neji was so near and dear to my heart I feel like doing the Wayne’s World I’m not worthy thing is that just a little bit more about my do love if you know like something with her in there because Stephanie like know that power and you know all that staging and ran to actual herbal bath like those images and like that sacredness of hours but you know that’s something from her and I think that comes out of the picture yeah I like I always the picture like National Geographic a lot of like animals but just being in touch with all types of Nature and like you know that type of stuff like being in arima super powerful and I think that again it’s like a lost tradition in my car trying to reclaim that now. It’s been around you know these things are not scary but just letting you know we have more power right on well I will say I have it is not been challenging for me to be. Don’t take this the wrong way or anything but I would say there is a man in this world I’ve always felt like it was not a chore but else but a privilege to a good refers to be meditating on the the beauty of stretch marks and just feeling the texture and not is a sort of like oh oh pity party you know you don’t get to be in Miss Universe it now or whatever it’s like such a bullshit but it’s a Well there should be a Miss Universe for for that and if you actually cared you know you would appreciate that so I feel like that if you haven’t anyone listening if you haven’t worshipped stretch mark belly before then you’re missing out the music sits it’s a mystery and something to to meditate on in into yeah it’s 11 so I appreciate that and I guess maybe your last sort of from save me hear them thinking of would just be 2 maybe I’m kind of a this is this is a big kind of klusterfuk of questions I guess you could say that I that I have I’m a white man to grow up in the Northwest and one of the whitest states in the union and I was always drawn to the Mystique of LA to all of the Hollywood movies that I watched his latchkey kid and all that stuff and now I’ve been down here for almost maybe more than 15 years trying to just connecting and you know you’re going to laugh but it’s like things like I really connected as a young child with movies like La Bamba and later got into Blood In Blood Out which is also made by the same the same dude who was who is his kind of enamored with being I don’t I wouldn’t forget to send him but I’d say certainly my case that has he said he grew up grew up around and experienced a lot of Latino culture for me there were bits and pieces growing up but but just being a fight dude totally disgusted with the emptiness of my own non-kosher at 8 just felt like I want to just be the ugly ducking duckling and check up to whatever other intact kind of familial or sort of tribal structure as I can find so I’m kind of like a Joy’s the the parties and I’ve always kind of like exactly I haven’t tried to Vienna. The Mexican because I’m in LA and I’ve Had My Moments in there to see if you would know that I just that there’s been some funny like West Side Story type moments and funny like that is pretty funny but it it it it does speak to this bigger kind of picture thing what I want to say about it being the klusterfuk of a question is like to bring it back for you is like you know I see indigeny small and sort of thumb Anarchy feminism in just at the tour to Mexico with punk bands and I’ve gotten to really for myself see the the this just the fact that 49 1492 is every day somewhere in the world and there’s places where that that that Battlefield this is like the battlefield of indigenous language is dying against Spanish to English in seeing punk bands play punk in steampunk in and totally indigenous tongue that may or may not be fully documented by anthropologists but it’s a the and also the fact that like a lot of the Latin American punk rock seems that I got to experience were not everybody was all pumped out a lot of people were just like regular working class citizens and they were all participating in that because it was like the a way to celebrate I got more of that more deeply connected fabric of culture and what not but I guess you know what I worried where this is going and I appreciate you being very with me versus myself I feel like I could ask you this question and I can’t I can’t always ask people this question cuz it’s too controversial into explosive you know but the question really is you know how do you in your you’ve broken free from a lot of the shackles of thinking that Catholicism in patriarchy and the state and and all these other institutions that that try to turn indigenous people against their own skin color against their own Traditions you know you were fighting that fight right now and I just I’m curious what you would say and what your thoughts are what you would share for the the occupied and the occupiers the colonized in the colonizers wherever you might be in the world like what what is what words would you have to say for to empower people to break free from these religious controls and spiritual and sexual all that stuff and so I don’t know you know what comes to mind but how can people be of service that are not you know my condition is some people who are indigenous how can they kind of stand up and break free and not sell out and whatever you know conform or whatever that is definitely a huge question I don’t consider myself like any kind of Representatives regardless of my identity. You know like like similar to you I think I don’t necessarily write people off because they’re white although have a lot of comrades and friends I do but I do think that there’s be home folks or not a business that you know there’s a void there’s there’s a feeling there’s a there’s a reason why we’re all kind of going through a shift and realizing like this is not a certain different types of things for ourselves and having kind of like technological kind of looks like talking but not enough kind of like doorways to like get through to like the type of world that we will be one of those kind of far out two different things I mean it sucks but now the main way you can contribute to the world you want to live in right now is funds his fundraising is bleeding charity work but more like you know who needs to be uplifted that’s maybe you know if you can think about it the current structure for the current capitalistic structure are not valued in the same monetary way but they’re doing more for the community and the types of work and the type of world that you want to live in in the future like that type of stuff right so like less kind of thing people eyes like a disadvantage or whatever it’s more like kind of like Goods what can you give when then what can you what can you go back to people who have donated to me just like that other people who again or more just that I want to see what’s up to so you know like you know anyone that’s looking for a doula you know how I am in that position where I think I do need to attend for free things like that so for people who are indigenous of course just again where the mouth speaking to people speaking to people about birth rethinking births or I’ll be home for a worm anything that deviant from you you know but not necessarily kind of like reinforcing those structures on each other that type of thing but that judgment what became an entrepreneur for yourself so you know it’s just being you not being imaginative enough and you may be wanting that for yourself in your life right like that’s why people come out here with negativity or or should I just be mindful of your energy where you place it in and why you’re giving off something that’s not super ideal my world’s just blind optimism but you know I think we definitely need more optimism and I am definitely like a punk I really like happy Punk right now from a world where you know I’m from the same world as y’all but I definitely think for the revolution what I want to bring is this breath work and what I want to bring is more positivity and it has to be blind sometimes why not you know we just need that when you believe in God but definitely line ourselves up to receive those changes by way of saying all the the mess ups we have in our own brain like deconstructing kind of like the actually try to make a difference I think that’s pretty much it is to you for decolonizing your bedroom and decona is in your mind and decide to colonizing these dimensions of bed sometimes overlooked and I appreciate everything you have been saying in will be taking good notes in and I can also commiserate about punk rock and I’ll say that I like I said happy Punk I’ve actually kind of put the thought experiment out there what if what if in some bizarre sci-fi future the punk the punk rock an Arco Punk Revolution actually succeeds and we are living in tribal Neo tribal Utopia and there’s nothing to complain about what kind of music are we going to read me and are we going to be playing these like death metal Melodies about Doom and Gloom or we going to be free country weaving the musical fabric that used to be just ceremonial songs and and ways to get through seasons and get through life cycles and things so so I’m I’m there with you and I if I am looking forward to hearing the chi music that you hopefully will create an account of lyrics and poetry that you were right and hopefully that will be part of that transition towards post-apocalyptic Punk kind of phone oh yeah well. Cool will definitely have more time again I think will be great to have you back to even come in and talk about some of the as you do your trainings and as you have more experience has to come in and share and just get more people kind of Switched on and activated around in this and amazing well thank you so much for your platform I appreciate it so much more than you know but I definitely would love to come and reconnect it somewhere cool so I guess I would say that I just want to help put in my final words and then leave it open to you to say whatever you like to close out with and certainly will put a link to your campaign in the show notes and anything else you like to have shared their yeah and so I would say it’s interesting residents that I have with with your story and that I actually I went to the University of Oregon and that was where is it premieres environmental law conference happen every year and it was just an orgy of environmental lawyers and I got to expose to all of these campaigns in all of these struggles and all of this super high level but it was great cuz it was like you had all these super Elite privileged white intellectual academic Scholars and then they were using the budget of the university in this this this conference annual conference to to bring in indigenous environmental Warriors from all over the world to tell me the story so you know that was it a very beautiful thing and I feel like something that is the I want to see a buzzword but like a key term from from that world is well everything is is our environment and the environmental justice in this order from the cultural ecological issues that you’re talking about it’s like yeah you talking about the legality around the environment of the womb and how they how to clean clean that up so I feel like you were definitely I mean I can see the the parallels there and in whatever dimension environmental law Shield work you want to explore I’m sure that the the grant funding and the interns and that you no tapping into all of those those hungry Minds in the people that want to study things and you know you just have to spend it right and you can have a PhD thesis if I can see it so you review right yeah but now I I just actually study that I actually did research on mental racism in low-income communities I’m in certain communities but I think my closing thoughts for sure are just that Albert’s that’s the beginning of our culture and if we are experiencing experiencing or like that I meant to me if you know I’ve been through this process and make sense to me but if you think about it you know I think about it logically and all the beginning of society begins with Creative Kids of this cage think of work like this is like the first step for a new Society right like and even in your own interpersonal lives where can we drive power and how come we Empower women to have empowered birth and not just you know that one day but you know checking in having Community being accountable to them you know I’m kind of Usher as Elders that experience them but also have some advice for independent mother and said I would say and I’ll start with self-care is your number one goal that’s super difficult and over myself a camera that usually ask for my son because I know I could feel depleted if I wasn’t so caring I definitely was a different kind of mom and that’s something I didn’t want to pass on I would say start creating that works around you find other end of town mothers like you share resources like food would sharing and child caring if that’s feasible of my ruin us to Burnt out from work for when you need it I said I would say don’t have too much of a pride issue personally but when you ask for help then people will know that you need it and regardless of of that Party Factory think that because we have a little little people to attend to you know it doesn’t really have a place all the time when numbers are my final words alright well thank you so much I’m looking forward to next steps and we will talk more about the survival women project soon and and hopefully that can be another another connection point two more networking and more resources to help you move all this stuff for so thank you for being being willing to come on the show and hopefully a lot of people will get a lot from this and I really do want to bring it all the way back down to the thirst with a lot of the stuff and I appreciate that so yeah I have a wonderful rest of your evening and we will be in touch very soon thank you for listening to the touch of Time Podcast please go to www.drudgereport.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and if you want a podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple that provides ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com Damas de

How Female Masturbation and Orgasms are Saving the World Soul with Kit Murray Maloney TPP178

Play

Kit Murray Maloney

In this episode I’m joined by Kit Murray Maloney, an outspoken orgasmic organizer who’s been working and playing hard to start a proud self-pleasuring revolution among women. While male masturbation is taken for granted and catered to by the mainstream culture, female pleasure is still in many ways in the dark ages. Kit shares about her great work to re-enlighten humanity about the potential for healing, empowerment, pleasure, fun, relaxation, and more with female masturbation and orgasm.

She’s established a movement around the Pleasure Pledge where women commit to pleasure themselves thoroughly for 3 weeks straight, to learn more please go here: https://www.thepleasurepledge.com/

We discuss the need for thoughtful user experiences with online porn and her efforts to curate a more refined adult entertainment selection. We also commiserate on the need for shamanic pornography to become a thing so we can show religious pornophobes how sacred sexuality is to be respected rather than feared.

Please visit her main website here:
https://www.oactually.com/

About Kit:

Kit Murray Maloney is driven by her core belief that a celebration of women’s sexual pleasure, including female orgasms, will heal and better the world.

For the last two decades Kit’s been an activist, academic, and entrepreneur committed to channeling her passion for gender equity into a celebration of women’s sexual pleasure. She’s earned a Masters degree in Gender and Social Policy from the London School of Economics and has been featured in Marie Claire, Self, and Glamour magazines.

Kit launched O’actually as a multi-media platform for open and honest dialogue to release taboo of women’s self pleasure and to promote beautiful erotic work made by women for women. Kit is also the founder of The Pleasure Pledge, a free 21 day program inviting women to celebrate there daily orgasm.

AI Generated Transcription:
(Want to help with corrections? Please contact me to learn about rewards for your efforts!)

Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast episode number 17089 being joined by Kid Marie Maloney who is the founder of oh actually and the pleasure pledge and she is a deep believer in celebrating women sexual pleasure and yeah please kid we haven’t had an extensive background of each other so please enlighten me tell me all about your beautiful wonderful self and how it is that you got involved in the sexuality sex positive and Liberation kind of movement wonderful friend thank you thank you for creating a space of the podcast and four and having me on it and I am yeah as you mentioned I am the founder of actually which is a space that is committed to engaging in the sphere of adults entertainment with intent around bringing some more openness and honesty and to that realm so that we can receive more pleasure and really lift out of some of the shadows and taboos that I believe are are cementing Us in real blocks around Shane and sexuality and so actually is really a space around that entry and celebration looking at something like foreign adults entertainment and moving beyond our assumptions that we might have and the taboo that we might carry and go in list and openness around what might be possible when we relieve some of the tension around the top who even within the realm of sexuality specifically in the round with sexuality and then the pleasure of that is a space to celebrate women sexual pleasure and it is a 21-day invitation to remember to celebrate their daily orgasm and there’s lots of support through that with daily invitations that offer women away to further nurture on and prioritize and enjoy their selves as orgasmic features and an experienced extremely wonderful and I can see I can I do this should be what the Surgeon General is getting behind to promote this I don’t know if you remember there was a time when there was a female search General who was fired for suggesting essentially that masturbation will be a great form of a defense against HIV spreaded believe that was what happened but women solo sax or masturbation is something that still trade such tremendous and yet I stand for it being this incredible healing power and so it is such a it’s a tragedy to me that we take this beautiful resource that we all have within ourselves and shouted it and a lot of misunderstanding and Tabu and so the pleasure pleasure is such a beautiful face of our whole system is set up to receive is there and if women shoes they can decide to bring Partners into that experience and there are times in our life where we can also choose to have that entire experience all in our own systems has she just thought it would be an interesting blog post many years ago girlfriends about understanding that they would instead it was a beautiful beautiful and honoring through there and free of celebrated in community of sister head and from that unlocked a much wider and even more richer program an offering to the world of the Worlds talking about it’s coming up on February 1st 2000 some okay so I’m this is his if it says your your gift to the world it sounds like you were you were on a mission to do the sort of meme me medic Alchemy Alchemy to get a movement in motion and action is so I imagine you’re doing Outreach in I’m just curious what is the what’s the strategy and what is the sort of scope of your of your aspirations for this cuz I believe it it really can and should go far and wide so yeah I’m excited to hear about what’s going on behind the scenes first question and this is the first year where I’ve decided that the pleasure pledge deserves her own space so she’s going on and I realized over years of running both of actually on the pleasure pledge simultaneously that there are definitely overlaps particularly because I am the founder of both and so my stamps for women’s safety of their safety within themselves safety of their sexual experiences and as well as their healing is a thread that has been part of my work for 99 and lifetime I believe and so it feels nice to to give the pleasure patch this new space to thrive and we are inviting more awareness through our conversations like this social media brand Partnerships as well and it’s really my belief that an orgasm orgasm solo sex is something that is a key ingredient to women’s holistic vitality and so I see this as a space that is very much based on sexuality but honoring sexuality is a key component to our house and so I think that there are ways to open up this conversation that really reached my way of like oh yeah but just as you say it like this should be something that like the health department is like no side effects better sleep and wildly wonderful and positive potentials that’s my job that’s so cool yeah you know it reminds me throughout the years of just being a sex geek and whatnot I do recall it might have been a documentary or somewhere where I saw that there are there are countries in the world where literally it is their government agencies and offices that that hand out pamphlets about masturbation and how to do everything you would you would you would hope that our government pay course it’s it’s a it’s not it’s not trashy it’s not really you know over the top as far as being provocative it’s just like like a first aid manual her like acne treatment manual or something exactly awesome so please if you would please tell me more about just your personal how did you come up with this idea what I love the story and I love to hear more about the other your other the sort of the inaugural test study subjects that you worked with in the beginning and get some other stories of how they experienced it but I was curious to go back further in your life history with your what was missing in what was wrong and what didn’t provide you this you know out of the gate so that she had to develop it like what’s your sort of story of heroism around that yeah so I trying to decide how far back to go so I was as a teenager what kind of Fancy Pants all girls private school in Boston and everything for the eight years that we were there was still didn’t us about going to college and getting into the best possible, and yet there was no training or no conversation around what college would be like and I’m dating myself here but it was a late one day decided I’m actually going to go on to it wasn’t Google it was like or something and start searching about what the college experience sexual assault and I was 17 and horrified and terrified and I look back at that seventeen-year-old girl and I’m really impressed that she was able to be as conscientious as because I was two teachers and adults at the time and brought them needs to tistics and was told that I was I shouldn’t worry about it I was there was no conversation actually I have this beautiful experience where an aunt of mine took me out to lunch and the summer before I was to go to college and she’s basically just sat me down and was like kids who are scared to go to college and I told her as well as I was with her guidance that I stepped onto my college campus aware of the groups that were already set up to address issues of sexual violence on campus and raise my hands to participate in them and so pretty quickly I was leading them and growing them and engaged in administrative and policy changes and it really was making identifying key component of my college experience and so as you can imagine it was incredibly powerful in some ways because I was able to effect change fan belt community and be part of community and the other signs it was incredibly taunting and why on Earth was I as a 21 year old given this responsibility with my friends to be riding so that I done went and got my Master’s and gender and social policy in London at the London School of economics and was really against sexual violence in the world I smile not because I think that is a lofty goal is mad because that is so clear to me as like what my mission in the world has always been since I was younger and kind of the foreshadowing I had not process my own sexual trauma yet and so I stepped away from the work for a couple of years and did some other activities and then I in 2012 I want to go back into making the world a better place for women I want to have it’s always going to drive to me to be focused on women sexuality and could I navigate this through a focus of pleasure and that was really the impetus it started oh actually was could we talk about Up Entertainment so we could be released taboo around pleasure as a way of honoring what the world might look like if there wasn’t any more and then I do believe that when we heal ourselves we will have that celebrates and honors women’s bodies in them and sexuality in women’s pleasure and orgasmic potential and I am all for it so that was how I started on February 2019 be the fifth annual public butter fudge does not hundreds of thousands millions of a saying in February that for this 21 days are going to focus on ourselves are flygare healing and growth and expansion in our lives in the world beautiful as so I’m assuming also that that’s correctly that span of time if everyone is basically synchronizing on that pledge then that would be a huge marketing opportunity for companies than brands of products that are already doing Valentine’s Day campaign so if you don’t want to be a douche boyfriend you should buy vibrators so you know that are for pleasure pledge and you should learn how to be an assistant and you should step up in that way and actually I mean I will be beautiful I could just imagine that a pleasure pledge gift kind of Kit grab bag company information face and celebratory products and I love it too because it’s this really special time in a year where January closes and we step into February and I don’t know about you but the release of a January guilty intense that’s amazing well thank you for that actually I thought it would be funny at one point to do like a synchronized masturbation every twice a day depending on if your morning person but at 6:09 a.m. and 6:09 p.m. everyone should be either doing that if they have the luxury or at least pleasuring themselves and in I think we will shift like the axis of the earth a week yeah if I resend some measurable synchronized meditations and prayers and just light up the whole planet as we all know how beautiful it is to collectively meditate our minds at meditation are in such an orgasm as as such as some water and Shirley healing because you’re bringing that high high frequency of pleasure and joy into your whole system very well said yes I totally agree and I like to step back a couple of little bit into where you had been doing the activism around you know I like to call a sexual self defense that kind of covers a lot of a lot of FM Beyond just street fighting and mugging what not there’s there’s a whole Continuum there’s a whole Arc of violence that can be interrupted earlier with different forms and strategy so I’m a b I’m really into that that’s the old as well and in in appreciate that that you have been working on east campus safety in & Beyond and then something that comes to mind something that comes to mind is that a friend of mine also in the field not too long ago was sharing with me that this notion that female orgasm is can be can become so Elusive and so difficult to induce for for this one factor that she mentioned among many factors are one of it was that I guess there’s new Neuroscience coming out that’s pointing to that they’re being a part of the brain that if you don’t feel fully safe and fully relaxed you pretty much can’t you eat you would need to feel physically safe to Stew for the orgasmic energy orgasmic triggering an energy and all of that that whole chemical cocktail and that whole electrical storm to really take place if it’s like an inhibited when there is a sense of of a lack of safety for the most part of course there are people who would they get they get off on on on different fetishes and you know that there’s different different ways to look at that yeah this is so very happy that you brought this up because I just want to clarify to like a couple of things that are happening within that like in general this notion women needing to feel safe in order to receive and enjoy pleasure just and she would have thought of fact I think right and so that is wonderful where that can go a little bit wonky at fast is Ever Getting It confused or taking that pendulum swing a little bit too far if you will so that it implies that victims of violence who did receive bodily pleasure during their assault are somehow not telling the truth about the lack of consent in that hasn’t sat in case any listener is feeling concerned about what surrounding getting any sort of bodily pleasure certainly beautiful provided us with which is that ease of access to orgasm is going to be first created within a container of safety answer that is always what we want to be going for an and committed to and that isn’t a beautiful that orgasm is that much more accessible different statuses fetishes might not have that container of safety they might be perceived but usually fetish groups actually have a much stronger containers then we might and so if you’re saying to somebody I want to experience is going to be tightened through a through the app and your XYZ is something that may or may not be taboo and may or may not be in, but what you’re actually asking for it and therefore you’re presenting yourself in a container safety hope that makes sense. I totally concur with you about the safety of the container around fetish The Fetish community and I was taking on a pretty deep journey within the upper echelons of it at one in one chapter of my life and I mean cuz it’s always been somewhere throughout my life but I got to actually live in SM dumb and got his Temple for about a year and till I was exposed to a lot of things that people have kids but but it was there that I really got to to develop a high respect for containers with in containers in and you can feel safe to be made slightly on safe and that can be how it all works but everybody’s different but I just see appreciate also being able to talk about this stuff and then and open a space up for it so you actually when you say adult entertainment are you you’re talking about about pouring about I was it is nuanced and complex like all of life certainly all sexuality as far as my understanding of it is and so I know actually it’s a highly curated selection and some of the filmmakers don’t use entertainment honor the hall I Hazard a umbrella term and and it can be spokes of erotica or torn or anything else but this guy I am I think you know we have goodness me I am particularly like in this moment today I had some very angry comments friend to see all the pain and hurt as a woman who follows around what it means to step into engagement around pornography and I think for me one of the things we spend most reassuring about this face as that it counter-intuitively has really reminded me of all of our humanity and also how important it is to create dialogue around things that we supposed to be unwilling and a lot of women do to this really new porn video porn wildly accessible very very influential and and so to leave it on its own in the shadows seems so not okay to me and it is it’s over it’s turned into this real conviction of like let’s talk about it and let’s talk about what we think is okay and not okay and is it in planting Aspen what’s the difference between fantasy and our relationship to our practices of solo sax versus our expectations and desires for real world sex and are we navigate to overlap and the distance between those places and how can we start to see differences as well as commonalities and how we use to measure I’m also in that space and so it’s it’s refreshing to hear more purposeful and in passion-driven visioneering in that space for sure in as and I agree it’s also it’s with rapidly shifting a lot of things and it could be it could be for the best or for the worst or or probably a bit of both but I’m yeah something that I’m curious about is how are you integrating are you out how does it integrate with your projects is this something that you have like a cute you were curating content that you suggest to folks to use for their the pleasuring enhancement purposes is there like a sum of a studio or you producing independent content or how does it all work with your pleasure actually right now my insurance is that we have provided a safe and beautiful directory and guy for you to choose what type of that offense of Human Experience you’d like to have in that moment so lately and then you are directed to the makers to we have with folks that I talked with people that we’ve done really promote people’s work who is Open Nest an honest man Honest Tea around sexuality and I actually have also included because I realized in a lot of inner dialogue with myself are some sites that are some types that are good for us to take around other people’s enjoyment and other people’s practice says around their sexuality is a paternalistic and unhelpful and probably found Saul particularly keeping in mind how women your sexuality with so many of the pornographic sites out there are so our goal is to have that introduction feel like more of a dipping the toe in the water than being a shots the I thank you for doing that in a really is it makes me think of what you’re providing is almost like a a condom before your eyes for your soul so going on the mental industry is pretty much driven by ad revenue from free content now so I mean free content being posted on website posted on websites that that are just riddled with potentially malware scripts and the pop ups and in all kinds of manipulative marketing strategies to get you to to to rig your dopamine cycle ratchet up so that you’re you’re being sort of like you said pushed and you know what I’d say push towards more extreme the rapidly extremely hyper rapid acceleration from really mild material that you’re trying to maybe look for something specific but then it it’s they know what you’re doing they have patterns and rhythms in its mass and they’re just driving you pushing you often towards some stuff that’s going to be traumatic ultimately it tends to lead in those directions so if we could be creating a portal or accurate experience where there’s some guard rails and a little bit of at least hopefully some warning signs or something where you know I would be helpful and for not to be predatory as a visit as a marketing experience in general you know for it to be something for her if I want to get aroused I’d like to have liked it you know romantic like candle light dinner Ambiance of an experience of consuming the media and not be in like this thing you know if the lake I just ran over that like a lot from of actually and I just think if we ingest provides that you know a candle or two before you get there because there’s also really awesome really beautiful but I just for me and for a lot of the people that I’ve talked to you it’s a really nice thing to just have a little bit more of a guide in a little bit more of a sense that you are at the Hound yourself to what what material you want to consume rather than feel as you say either pushed or like you are not in control of what is going to be awesome Oso if you were to be let’s see speaking to a an audience of adult content producers what what are you hoping will be some of the new new trends what what can be done to his they’re always innovating and they always want to be on top of the next the next whatever so if you curious like if you if you if you could be a designer producer-director just with your words just imagining that people listen to this might be in the process of wanted to create content that would be acceptable in and embraced on your platform it really again goes back to what is your intent and around joking mean hats and getting people to more and more extreme versions of pornography usually ends in the intent to make money because usually the end goal is that there’s been enough of a her to get somebody into a paid membership site and that taste of torn I believe has a very different CEO and a very different than many of the other works its way out there to celebrate women’s orgasms to create something that is bringing additional levels of beauty to The World’s End so in speaking with sound anchors we have our biggest category on the site is celebrating female cell makers end in talking with them before reaching them on the site I really get a sense of what is their poor intention and the ones that are on Sauron oh actually are folks you have beautifully articulated that to me as really adding value of an expression to erotica wanting to be part of the worlds that erotic humans can be celebrated and a genuine had an inspiring healing way so that he turned up sell you to something else so that we can make it. Is that the court intent of people’s mission in terms of making it so I would also say I guess I wouldn’t let them more of us who are willing to celebrate erotic an x-rated content and engage with it and create it and it might look like to have more women behind a camera more people of color buying puts a smile on my face so I would want everybody to talk to Healing centered person too and by all means that’s also will actually have something that I might submit off to you for two that towards that end yeah and this is certainly the vibe that I’m that I’m on and I’m hoping to I’m hoping to find others already established in the industry and those who are outside of the industry and maybe haven’t considered it as a as a of a vector for for extreme positivity and extreme transformation because so many people are glued to the the the sort of stream of content that one little drop of something hewing in there could have a massive ripple effect in this this pain of human consciousness so I feel like my calls to action is for shamanic pornography to be a thing that that would be very Redemptive for all the witches who were burned because in all of the tantric group sexuality things that were against the irony that that I feel in my heart around the this it’s like okay if I was speaking to the pope right now I would say you and your henchmen have spent hundreds of years demonizing everything having to do with self-pleasure and with lesbianism homosexuality group sexuality and all forms of mysticism witchcraft sexual magical ritual and then all the sudden just basically in the last few decades the the legal landscape has opened up to allow for the some of the most what will you would consider to be sinful content to be produced and now it’s like the the consequences of all those centuries of repression are being expressed in these type super violence super non-consensual addictive or habit forming in there with a woodsy is 4M even Pat Robertson said demonic demons can be can be basically transmitted through washing a video on a screen and the information on a prospective you can understand how that’s possible by changing your vibration and in allowing in things that will give you a spiritual cold and yeah they stop by so it’s I feel like the the wisdom of Elders in which isn’t shamans coming in and saying at 6 will abuse and Trauma can be healed sexual abusers can be healed and Jen and redeemed through this stuff and so why is it that was dominating all of this content is stuff that is like I’m so flippantly I just can’t get over the irony you know so library of shamanic pornography and I really think that this like he’s hit on so many are convincing us that there is some houses and pushing the stuff more and more and more and more into arbitrary regulation and that is not rooted and you know one of my like it’s a little bit snarky of me I will process that but one of my favorites is guess what state in the United States consumes the most pornography the Utah go Enterprise I want a free-form subscription I want the Christian porn Christmas stocking stuffer kit let’s just get some real this year so that we can buy all of ourselves and create spaces for healing and beauty and bring back I love what you’re saying like an honor and of how different versions of sexuality have been and distrusted infested infested and two ways of demonizing things that actually have real potential to bring a really beautiful marriage if so yeah yeah a hold of those are very beautiful words I want to say we got a bit of time left if you feel like you want to just go I say I feel really really satisfied incomplete in what we what we’ve covered in I guess it’d be great to hear from you any any what else whatever else you want it you care to share and then certainly the website URLs and what people can do to connect Waze to find you and and maybe what’s next with what’s on the horizon 2 end to compete for this evening other I just have to say I am so excited to be at your work in the world through actually. Com or and the pleasure patch.com I’m also on all the social media actually or kicked me and group on Facebook for others and so come and find us there right now it is set up to be a Sisterhood of people who identify as being a woman so I know that that is a really beautiful space for women to come together and explore in community what it means to prioritize our orgasmic pleasure and also know that I have always looking for ways to bring men into our community and support them and their healing and their sexuality so there are programs to come for that in the future I just don’t know exactly when and where and why it’s not to be exclusionary it’s just in case and meet they would need 21 days off billion Wicked thoughts which is the Neuroscience behind our internet activity within the space when I was first time in years ago she was like women are needing and looking torso in that since I said go for it as a man I don’t get it Illuminating in our world right now men do not need the level of outer and inner permission for pleasure women are really appreciating the pleasure price as his permission slip that you know first maybe can be written by me or the pleasure patch but then becomes and to Paradise pleasure and it really does make sense to me then experience dependent right on well you don’t makes me think that I’m not for the necessarily the I think you mentioned it earlier kind of depends on what things can pendulum to Square One Direction yes so you know in this context I feel like I’m I’m kind of dismayed at seeing the the counter porn nofap kind of thing about it’s basically like okay you either jerk off to porn or you don’t touch yourself at all but in the in the sweet spot in the middle of it which is what the tantric wisdom in the Dallas wisdom is really all about for men is that you want to have as much physical stimulation as possible and you want to start to taper down the amount of ejaculatory orgasm if you have but still be able to have multiple orgasms and still be able to fuel those heightened levels of pleasure but not always be quote spilling your seed so there’s people who were in my you know me men’s tantric movement and they’re they’re doing these challenges for men is 21 a month or week or just work yourself up to longer periods of time of total not ejaculation in some people are some people go years I don’t I don’t choose that path although it has its merits if you have certain objectives but but I wonder if there will be a parallel movement because the more women pleasure themselves in in the twentieth the 21-day pleasure pledge if men are having solidarity non ejaculatory three weeks if not ejaculation but stimulation and they’re going to view way better effective at giving those orgasms providing the Arkansas to their female lovers there’s a way for you to harness your sexual energy by keeping your ejaculate inside but also elevating your abilities 22 you know what I mean anything there are so many total pieces of information that I gathered over the years around is just what that experience is for releasing energy and the male body and the release of semen vs. the building on connection to Life Force energy in the way in which women orgasm and I’m so I know where we can come together and so it’s interesting cuz in in are the fall and desire for equality I think sometimes that pendulum if you will get ourselves into this send this notion around saying this because when we think about sameness we lose this honor and have differences that is really basting a lot of trees and how we experience sexuality and pleasure an orgasm letting letting me go there for another final and bit of banter but yeah definitely we could go on for days and hopefully we will be in touch soon as this this approach has yeah well I will see what I can do to spread the word and and definitely will be in touch in in wishing you the best so once again thank you for your for your time and I will be in touch soon and have a great night VW. Concho Park. Calm and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition of sustaining and improving a podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple after bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episode if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com

Holistic Sexual Health

Here are some of Alexandria’s recommended links:

https://www.justthefacts.co.nz/index.php/do-i-have-stis-sexually-transmitted-infections/sexually-transmitted-infections-sti-myths-and-facts/

https://www.condomdepot.com/sampler-packs/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xJgEetiGh4

 

Sexorcism the Tantric Opera Episode 05 “Sex Magic Goddess Puja”

Oh My Goddess, tonight we will worship each others body temples with total adoration. For this ceremonial love making ritual we invite only benevolent beings, our spirit guides and divine allies. All lower beings with harmful intent be warned, evacuate this space or be incinerated in the fires of divine love. We humbly invoke for divine blessings, in full faith, so be it.

We must first cleanse each other’s bodies and auras in a salt water bath, then we shall begin with a sacred dance

As your Shiva I will be the structural form that supports the fierce and wild expression of your feminine power

As your Shakti I will pulse through your nadis with currents of pure love and light. Together we’ll burn away life times of karmic seeds.

Close your eyes and stand still as I dance in a circle around you, gently sweeping your aura with my with hands

Now you be still as I encircle and sweep you my love

I will now hold you tight from behind, right hand on your heart, left above your yoni, I will lead a swaying of our hips in figure eight and circular motions

May our charkas align, entrain and unite, let us charm the kundalini serpent and ride her into the heights of ecstasy

I will now kneel in front of you, embrace your lower back, pressing my ear to your womb, I humble myself to your power to create life.

Now I slide my hands down your legs and hold your feet, bowing my forehead to the earth between your legs in prostration to your divinity.

Now for an exchange of massage. First I will give and you will receive. Disrobe my beloved and lay upon the bed. From head to toe I apply coconut oil. Fingers, palms, knuckles and elbows dance all over your flesh. I surrender to the flow of divine healing intelligence, I am guided by forces beyond technique.

I will now annoit you with oil and return the full body massage.

We are now fully embodied and free from the chattering mind. We shall feed each other fruit and chocolate and say our prayers to the divine.

I rest my third eye upon your yoni and chant the bija mantra Vam to open your gates to heaven. I pray to receive guidance on my path of healing and self-transcendent purpose. I pray to receive the strength and power needed to heal the earth. I pray to have the grace needed to be a friend to all life.

I bow to and behold your want of light as I chant Vam. I activate the divinity in your lingam and bless it as the most magical and sacred object in the Yoniverse. I pray that it will be strong and brave, and survive in the hot lava of my yoni tonight. As we reunite with source, I will draw down the power to support all earthy women on their paths to total liberation.

Without an orgasmic agenda let us now trade lingam and yoni massages. The intent is only to innocently and playfully explore the pelvic region, applying love and pleasure to all of the erogenous tissues and their surroundings. I will begin. I massage your belly, your hips, and your womb, funneling energy towards your yoni.

I now begin a epic exploration of your vulva, after generously applying coconut oil I gently press, rub, and roll your soft tissues from outer to inner labia. As you become engorged, I place my left palm upon your public mound, pressing down and making slow circles.

May I ask permission to enter your Yoni with my fingers?

Yes my dear, you may enter

I dip my right index and middle finger in coconut oil, and first gently enter with my middle finger, then slowly, carefully follow with my index. As my second knuckes pass through the gates, I curl upwards and find the Goddess spot on the upper wall. I apply gentle pressure and stroke back and forth once per second as my left palm continues to circle the public mound.

Oh My Goddess, you may experience powerful emotional releases, its okay to laugh, cry, scream, yell and growl. I’m holding sacred space for all that has been heaped upon you by others in this life and the many before, to be exorcized. Have no fear, our divine allies have been summoned to keep us safe and help remove all that that does not serve the highest good.

I’m now the giver. To begin I massage energy outward from your lingam and disperse it throughout your body. To ensure you last all night, I must spin open your heart charka in a counter clockwise motion. As I begin to stroke your lignam I will guide the rising energy up to and into the spinning vortex of your heart. It will now become a magnet, pulling your multiple orgasms upward without risk of ejaculation. Now that your heart has been opened, I’ll use both hands to dance upon your wand, your jewels and the surrounding tissues. I encircle your tip with the center of my left palm, while stoking up and down with my right. I then trace the ridge of you head with my finger tips, then shift to upward rolling motions.

As I sense you approaching the point of inevitability, I stop and guide you to take a deep breath and sip the congested energy up and away from the gentials, up the spine and into the heart, then up to the third eye, and back down again. You are now able to circulate your orgasmic energy and focus it anywhere in the body and project it into mine. Rolling waves of orgasmic bliss will continuously flow and you will be capable of making love with me for hours as you repeat this procedure.

Now that you are fully moistened and I am fully erect, I will now ask you to climb upon my lap, wrap your legs and my back, and allow my wand of light to pass through your pearly gates. I will hold it still as you slowly slide in place. Our eyes shall not close or wander from an interconnected gaze, focusing on each others left eye, we project loving energy closing an energetic circuit.

You’ve fully enveloped me, but before we allow our wild passion to be unleashed, we’ll synchronize our breath and continue to hold the gaze.

Now we’ll alternate our in and out breaths, once our rhythm has been established we shall place our right palms upon each other hearts, and place our left palms on top of each others hands.

I can see the green heart charka energy follow the breath moving through our arms and hands into our hearts, then up and out through our mouths.

Before we dissolve into total union with each other and the divine, let us build a magical future vision together, verbally affirm it, then release it into the alchemical caldron of our love making. I invite you to initiate the design of our vision.

Yes dear, in our future I see lush Goddess Temples, nestled within edible and medicinal forest gardens, defended by powerful warriors, hosting earthly and divine goddesses and gods, training priestesses, dakas and dakinis, initiated psychedelic shamans, providing refuge for the victims of patriarchy, and ensuring safety and protection from all threats of sexual violation.

I share your vision my love. Let us now release all techniques, and amplify the volume of our prayers. Our orgasmic roars will be heard by all divinity, and the purity of our intent will be honored with miraculous synchronicities illuminating the path to our designed future of Goddess Temple glory!

Spiritual First Aid for Sexual Assault Survivors with Alexandria Baker TPP177

Play

Alexandria Pic

In this episode I’m joined again by Alexandria Baker, a southern California sex educator, Hatha yoga instructor, ethical luxurious natural beauty and skin care entrepreneur, model, and performance artist.

In our previous episode she shared all about her personal journey, background:
https://tantrapunk.com/sexy-mindfulness-in-lifestyle-and-livelihood-with-alexandria-baker-tpp149/

I was eager to learn of her recent world traveling adventures and sadly discovered in the course of the podcast that she had experienced sexual assault. She boldly shares about the experience, I do my best to apply comforting and empowering stories from my personal battles with surviving sexual trauma. We compare notes and agree that much more loving, care, safe space is needed culturally to seriously address the the plague of abuse.

Please visit her website and Youtube channel at:

https://www.fromalexandria.com/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcTemJEFn3GVpGuCbJnu6Yg

AI Generated Transcription:
(Want to help with corrections? Please contact me to learn about rewards for your efforts!)

Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast episode number 177 I’m being rejoined by Alexandria Baker who is a Southern California sex educator Hatha Yoga instructor ethical luxurious natural beauty and skincare entrepreneur model and performance artists and we didn’t episode called sexy mindfulness in lifestyle and livelihood and that was supposed to number 149 so I encourage you to reference that and go back and check that out to get more of the origin story of Alexandria’s super heroic efforts in the world and we’re about to hear an update from from her recent Journeys have brought into studies and I’ve only been getting beautiful glimpses on Instagram here and there so this is going to be exciting exciting round of updates from who I hope will be a regular correspondent here on the 5 chest it was a pleasure last time and it is a pleasure now and yeah but when was that that was back in April so a lot has happened since then and we ended our last podcast on a bit of a teaser discussing the center for positive sexualities first conference that I was speaking at and that has come and gone and it has created this magical little nest in my heart of and something that I am now starting to really give birth and rice to riches giving more guided meditations and being able to present mindfulness with sexuality and these fears that perhaps might not have been acquainted with it before but what was so nice about that conference was that I was just one of a few people who actually brought up the topic of mindfulness and so it was a crowd that was someone acquainted with being Mindful and present having a sense of spirituality with the sexual and there are some who are very Green Cemetery need to it and others who were like yeah I do this all the time but it was a really Welcome Avenue for this mental and spiritual exploration and so to see people tuned in and then dial into themselves as I was talking about connecting with your sexy self in a spiritual way was just so awesome and beautiful and this is a great time to continue to develop them right to spread the seeds and let this let these eggs hatch into a beautiful birds that I can fly so that was the conference and since then I have been traveling to Europe and West Africa to meditation and yoga and it’s been a beautiful blessing and really really tough challenges well we can get into that yeah please do yeah I’m riveted knowing that you get to travel so much and and I’m all have questions but I love for you to just keep rolling in to give us like the the chronology you know and the itinerary and all that good stuff I was so I left in the middle of the end of July to go to Malta for a month and there it was really about developing my personal practice and it is very focused and driven and really into my body and inhabiting the space and what is a teeny tiny Island that’s below Sicily which is below the boot of Italy and there’s some things going on but at the same time it was also I felt very isolated and so it was a challenge to not have a bunch of friends around that I can just call and hang out if it was a time till I get my books in writing and really work on myself so there were parts of it ever really hard and lonely but also turning Inward and the connecting with the spiritual finding myself my core and from there I moved on to Madrid Spain and I was in the church for a few weeks and I started to do more of my performance training which is primarily with the Leroy which is a suspended suspended ring that was awesome and I have all the little there around southern Spain went back to Madrid from Madrid to Lisbon Portugal I was there for three nights then Portugal fluid to the car Senegal I was there for a few weeks and I went to The Gambia and kind of so this is a country that’s on the western side of Africa and north of that is a little sliver of a country The Gambia I was there for a week return to Senegal back to Lisbon for a little less than a week I was in Spain I want to travel to Barcelona and explore in North Eastern side of spade and go into the south of France and clear out in the mountains and come back down drove down there for a while continue to teach you take classes that was a journey of about four months of teaching and falling in love with myself and other people and practice medicine allowing myself to and it sometimes not allowing myself but just being totally gutted and exposed to the core and having these really intense experiences and I’m not really beautiful and some that were really hard but you’re all that I’m doing my best to slam girl from it took to be able to find gig type work I can sit around the world so I’m curious if you could elaborate on the the planning and forethought and design that went into kind of brought it sound, it sounds almost like you were you booked almost like a chore to do your teachings intimate in to provide your offerings and I’m wondering if that was something you did kind of in advance or if it was just you go to a place and you ask around and you put up with you know a sign and a window or I don’t know I’m so curious how you how you get to be blessed to the level of being able to just take a shower on the road and in not as so they have a booking agent or not yeah I have no idea of the sounds great. Sounds like a great way to have a vacation travel go to business totally that’s absolutely but it was and when it comes to travel I’m a bit of a wild woman I have an idea of the types of things that I would like to do or what I want to experience or maybe these I have a huge list of places that I want to see so I’ll think okay I want to go to this beach so how can I make it happen that’s not what happened for this trip my initial intention for going out to Spain which was Miley main point was to go to school but with the beautiful ways that FAFSA and other the economics of University goes it didn’t work out and instead of just like being super bummed about it or coming home early as I did come home early but I was planning on staying out there for a year I messaged one of my girlfriends who I am connected to through performance and asked her about I I I sent her a message and ask where should I go in Africa I’ve never been I want to experience that I want to explore maybe Morocco Egypt and I’m going to be in Senegal on these dates does this work out and it worked out perfectly and she has an organization the gambian marine and Environmental Conservation and initiative which is dedicated to protecting and preserving The Gambia through immediate action and Community Development that I’m just so behind I love it I love watching her grow and seeing her journey and the things that she’s doing for for her country and I said okay how can I be a part of this what can I do and she’s a dance instructor so she has connections at Studios and with interested people who like to move back active and it was just a beautiful Snowball Effect of I connected with one studio and then I looked an air B&B to stay out for the week and then the hostess happened to go to a studio just their instructors left to go back home the week before so it was like why all of these things are happening in a really beautiful amazing way because I I just allowed things to happen not to say that I was 100% okay with school not working out and it wasn’t a bummer because in many ways it was but I moved past that move through that and thoughts okay what what can I do now what do I want to do I want to teach yoga I want to teach meditation I want surf I want to spend time on the beach I would like to do dance classes and I really really want to be a part of this organization and let every way that I can and we made it happen my friend’s name is yandere and she’s at our house Superwoman so a lot of the connections and West Africa came through her bikini is it there nice to have friends that’s what friends are for booking you on Amazing Adventures in elderly severe so what is that how does from what from what I understand you were on a trajectory of doing but what would you call it a kind of Orthodox medicine degree to be able to use that stuff is that still in the works or how does that affect that that life goal and my ultimate career goal is to be an osteopath so that’s why I would do the same things as a doctor but it’s a few more months of Hands-On training so that I can diagnose and treat with my hands so it’s more holistic and looking at the whole person then me not being in school during that time that I was in Europe in West Africa pushes through States up at least a year at this point because some other plans have changed but what was all so wonderful about that instead of going for credits just to increase like on The Bachelor level now I’m looking at getting my master’s degree in an exercise science so that I can have the prerequisites completed for medical school and now I have an additional degree and I’ll be able to be a way better yoga instructor with more information about how the Body Works in just whole body systems and more and more practice with that that’s what I love and I’m happy that I’ll be able to be at better practitioner and provider yeah I’ve always wish I had more time to well I guess I will say I’m looking forward to when I’m successful enough to wear certain certain responsibilities and precious in my life for our or minimize to where I can actually catch up to a lot of self-study that I wanted to do including anatomy and physiology and all the systems in and I was just fascinated in the the exposure that I had had in standard education I guess and certainly when it applies to healing in all of this super esoteric yoga guy actually have a book called esoteric systems of the body or something and esoteric anatomy of the body and it’s just I’m salivating too real to say two in it goes over all these esoteric traditions and but it has all these maps of the body in maps of different Energy Systems and I just can’t wait to see how they said the size it just so much beautiful scholarship and I would like to yeah I’d like to compare notes cuz you you move in that direction so is that something that you have already begun kind of studying on your own how would you say that like I’m curious if you could talk just about some of the things that excite you about that field some of the things that you’ve already discovered there and absolutely and before we get into that book sounds super yummy and I definitely want to have a good title of it again in the author so that I can get my hands on that and we will certainly pick up rhino but now that I’ve taken you years off of formal education in a university setting I am turning to my notorious and I trainers and teachers and really asking questions about okay when I do when you told me to do this particular movement on the pole where is that coming from to understand that it’s not just my ankle that’s attaching to this large metal rod it’s I’m the movements coming from my head been so when and how to stop move or shift my my abdomen and my shoulders like what positioning do I need to be internally make V to get the quality of the movement’s correct so that I can be safe and also look pretty while I’m doing it so to have a deeper understanding and a physical level is right now the intention that I’m holding when I go into my practice in my training so that I can not only do this well but I’ll be able to teach her that at a certain point unlevel so really leaning into the support that I have been doing as much as I can turn a too much for the others and dial-in on my health practices I I’m trying to consume as much as I can on my own and with the help of me awesome well me and all of the community here at Township on podcasts will be your Study Buddies cuz this is so stiff for everybody wants to up level the stuff and I actually this it makes me think a lot about the difference between more traditional modes of teaching a martial arts and Healing Arts and sexual Arts it’s it’s like they used to be understanding by students that there would be riddles and mysticism and levels of knowledge and you couldn’t just show up to meet up for free or for five bucks and just start picking the brain of the master pack all of their secrets and if they don’t give it to you in a timely manner you’re going to get him a bad Yelp review and so I feel like God now if ever teach anything I have to be armed with so much Western Scientific backup knowledge because people will want to interrogate you and know what if this interests but from a personal level I would say that most of my students have been very very humble and very very they’re interested they want to know where I get my information from for sure I mean some of them do others are just I can help me get into this meditative state so that I can go to sleep that’s all I want but I actually really enjoy the ones who are challenging me and they want more information and they want me to like be on my game and I’m young and there’s only so much knowledge that I contain in this vessel at this point so sometimes it’s the journey where we learn together and all that you know I might not know this now but I’ll look it up and then I’ll send him a message later and we’ll talk about it in the next class and that encourages me to see where my edges are Beyond it and have only had a couple I have had some private students but they were also my friends who were giving me a really more of a hard time about back to the scientific studies that they wanted proof about certain things I couldn’t give a solid example but yeah I’ve had to take deep breaths and okay well this is what I know at this point and we’re going to do this practice together and it’ll be as good as I can be in as good as we can be together and it’ll continue to get better but for now we both need a little bit of patience challenging well I appreciate your approach to that night I can often feel the same the same way that it’s it’s a it’s an artificial I just feel like there’s thanks to you the capitalist system that has broken himself into pieces we don’t have a way of learning we have opportunities to learn this important kind of fun public knowledge a lot of it would have been very public knowledge and a lot of I mean just imagine if everybody if you’ll go was if it was a yoga studio at every playground for recess and that that was part of a routine and so the cultures where meditation and mindfulness and spiritual practices that were I guess you could say more embodied than just sitting still and listening to someone yell at you or something more of those worn by the practices since they’re so lacking people are or seeking it out and discovering it later in life or maybe having only limited access and what not so it makes sense that I mean it gets the tragedy is that you as a as a certified instructor as someone who is basically gone through a sort of whatever however many hours of a crash course or bootcamp to digest the mythologies and the the Arts and Sciences of so many different competing modalities so many different conflicting modalities and to kind of trying to create these these humble and Valiant yet Valiant attempts to tube to package this material and take for us to individually transmitted to other people it’s a lot to ask and in certainly the older you get the more experience and and and I guess in some cases appropriate kind of seniority you would have in a meritocracy of life experience knowledge but but I do I do like your approach to softening that interrogator vibe in that way of saying let’s learn together because really we should have all learn together and a healthy way and and it gives me gives me some hope I’ve been are very interested to see how you been evolving and so yeah some of the things that we had Vibe down before was the sexuality education the sexual health and and wellness and also psychedelics sexual shamanic therapy treatments and all that good stuff but I spent some interesting developments in the end of General feel that I’m just curious where you’re where you’re at with all that stuff because that was something that we rushed upon as well yeah we did we did talk about that when we when we might but as far as recent developments I’ve been knot on top of what has been happening in the Psychedelic science field lately my focus has been in other direction but what’s happened but what can you tell us about that then I can give my opinion so much love and affection for Rick doblin of the multidisciplinary association of psychedelic studies maps the biggest non-profit pharmaceutical drug development company that’s really ever existed in that continues to just blow my mind with their integrity and their their duty of care rather than take an approach wear your pants during the government to release all restrictions on administering these these compounds to the masses however over the counter or through prescription rather than having that that huge liability and risk it it’s that there’s another way to do it which I had not considered in which they are totally dialing in right now and it makes so much sense and what that is is that rather than having an individual who is who who is in need of the therapeutic value of this of these medicines rather than having them take dosages in like a baggie with their little vial of their little canister and take that and then go out into the insanity of chaos of their existing home life and the existing world then that the idea is that the legal space for the for the administering and for the consumption of the medicine is in a is in a therapeutic context in a clinical setting that is conducted by trained facilitators who may or may not have various medical or academic therapeutic sort of state license credentials but who have at least done with maps is created which is their own custom curriculum for providers of various types types of back and then there’s a line out the door for people who want to get training to train who want to be the trainers if they want to train trainers and they want trainers to be able to go out and create clinics all over the place so that when they get the through the final phases of proving that for one MDMA is safe under certain conditions within certain dosage ranges and then say that but it’s not going to just be mass-marketed and cranked out on conveyor belts and that the drug store is going to be to have access to this medicine in a legal manner you will have to have it be it’ll be in a circumstance where your facilitator doctor therapist Shaman excetra invites you to a space where there are certain medical and procedural practices or protocols being observed very very strictly and then you receive the dosage and that’s putting an only in that setting you’re not giving more to take home and follow up and take two and call me in the morning so contain the containing that risk is so profound to me because that is what I believe is the appropriate way a ceremonial weigh-in modern clinical ceremony away if you will they’re doing their best to bring in the ceremonial and ritualistic element is best they can make they don’t have to do this in a hospital they can create their own clinics in that clinic Canby sacred geometry it can be modeled as it competes should have Ford Explorer texting water and see what I see you to bring the Shivering so that I think that kind of expresses my you know where it would I do so much more so many other amazing doors that have open for them and doors that they thought would have been slamming their face Network gently open to their shoes surprised and so I just encourage anybody to follow up listen to the research Rick doblin on psychedelic Salon podcast in and catch up to to his work but I feel like he is the exception of Bilbo Baggins see if it looks like a hobbit I just can’t get over it and he’s made it through all these years and hasn’t been embroiled in Scandal or controversy and you know I’ve I just think he’s a rare a rare as I don’t know him personally but I will say that Tim Might you know he’s going to benefit me and my colleagues and my fellow survivors and so I think that’s just really interesting and something that you’ve you might consider you know looking into at some point how because I guess I should say one more thing is that this training for specifically for my cats are male female double counselor or dynamic of being at NADA guide per se but being a sort of facilitator for for a treatment I study subject or a client as it were to to have a beautiful experience that is balanced by a masculine feminine energies and if those people are are trained in these certain protocols they developed but that once you have that training done then you were then free to riff off and create your own style to verdigre and also it will be very easy to extrapolate to other medicines other compounds and it’s it’s the container that they’re creating so with all I said I love to hear from you how you feel about what I said in and what comes to the to the surface and for you to react to yeah I really look that and Maps the multidisciplinary association for psychedelic studies is so near and dear to my heart. And mrs. Mason person I’ve only been passing but being around him and hearing how he has affected and touched so many lives and every beautiful positive way gives me so much respect for the work that he and his colleagues and everyone that has to do with our organization similar ones gives them so many pops and I really really appreciative for the work that they’re doing because some people have a sense of understanding of what these compounds are capable of as far as the benefit but now that there is not scientific backing of okay he’s this makes you feel better a week down the line because of this mechanism of action that happens within your system in your body that’s amazing that this is now proven like the proof is in the pudding and that pudding is being offered and it really important container and contacts as you were mentioning it really does just take one bad incident one person said I did this awful thing while I was on she said but while I was under the influence of psilocybin for the government to decide okay well now that’s not going on the road to perhaps legalizing it exciting but obviously it’s bad so we’re not going to and the way that Max is doing it and creating these safe spaces in containers and vetting process to make sure that the set and setting are all in line. They have their ducks in a row to then administer and go through the therapeutic process makes it so that we can understand what’s happening on a scientific level and get the benefits on that personal level and the people that their training I I I one day be able to experience this extensive training so that I may also be able to offer myself and not be as helpful as I can be in in this way because not only are they impacting the people that they encounter what’s in these clinical settings but they’re forever positively alternative I I did send a training so that I would be pure support and just be there for someone who is having any sort of difficult psychological and maybe even physical experience and Ice Festival setting but going beyond that I learned to just be there for people when they’re having something that’s challenging and the way that you talk to someone when they’re experiencing something that can be really difficult will make or break the moment and we don’t have to have trips that are just really horrible and bad and make us afraid of it because there’s a way to know strutting around it with that love and support and having an experienced person there to let you guys jerk you’re tripping understand whatever it is that you need to go through Southern even taking that knowledge outside of a psychedelic experience but with loss and with trauma were just having a bad day you don’t need someone to tell you what to do necessarily but just be there and that makes me really big difference so I learned some awesome life skills through an organization. Maps has created and I’ve learned a lot from maps and not to see what amazing things they’re doing is super cool right on so how do you feel evvie great to hear how you feel about where you where you want to what time will somebody said to me once find what breaks your heart the most and that’s your life purpose to devote yourself to be teach it to do to be in service so I’m curious now if you were travels have have fun how they’ve added to revolve your your sense of purpose in your sense of where you want to be what you want to be doing and where and how and why I’m sure you’ve had some it’s about dates to just your your whole meta-narrative whole framework of reality today really embracing the things that have totally gutted me is what I’ve been living through this month I’m going to be absolutely Frank and give a trigger warning because what I’m going to talk about has to do with sexual assault and Trauma but first blanket statement my trip was wonderful and beautiful in many ways and what happened at the end doesn’t detract from anything that was beneficial or amazing and I still continue to travel and do what I did but my second time around in Lisbon I was I entered into an agreement with someone who is a stranger but a friend of someone I trusted a friend of a friend so as we’re talkin meeting for the first time and learn that needs a massage therapist being a yoga instructor and Super Active I’m like all right what you give massage Let’s do an exchange I haven’t had a massage and a very long time I can totally sit so the time comes for his part of the exchange to happen and I’m receiving this massage and just loving the nice touches and I get into a nice meditative a sweetheart just like vibrating state of enjoyment like not even on this plane and what ends up happening is I get sexually assaulted and moving through that and just having my whole world shaking it was like I was a Snowman in this snow globe in all of this all of the snow off the bottom had been settled things were really chill it was fine I felt like I was in a good place and when that happened that Globe was shaken up and after I was assaulted I immediately felt with my throat get sore and like I started getting really bad head congestion and the physical manifestation of what just happened to me on a physical psychological spiritual level was wholly apparent in my mind and my body at without me really being able to saying like this is how I feel right now because of this some of that came up but it was like I was transported back to the processing level that I was at maybe when I was early twenties was a teenager even I was so out of my body and out of my element in a country where I didn’t speak the language and it was super hard that was I was off my I was off-balance felt horrible and I was just I felt like I was doing so much on my own and I didn’t really have anyone to turn to for support and even when I was talking to my mom about it or my family about it or some friends some people were good at just being a bit like sitting there with it and holding space and letting me processor letting me talk about it I needed and not telling you what to do not telling me how I should feel that just letting me move through it and kind of figure out this trip experience on my own but most of the time it was well you shouldn’t have been in the room with a stranger or as soon as this happened you should have done this or I would have done this or now you need to do X Y and Z like that’s it’s coming from a positive Place most of the time but it wasn’t helpful as I continue to feel better from it and have more Lucidity towards what happened in my emotions and my processing and recognizing that it was actually normal for me to have a day where I just wanted to be in bed and like randomly cry and not want to talk to strangers or wear sweaters when it’s hot outside I just don’t want my body exposed that’s a normal response to an abnormal situation and as I’m thinking what what would I have wanted the people around me to do for me what did I need what how how could if I was a friend how would I support her or him then that went through this experience what can I do better and we don’t I I really only know how to be there for someone who’s been assaulted and been through this trauma because I have and really the training that I received from xando the organization that’s where that part of maps to sit with someone and not guy not tell them what to do but just let them process and figure it out in the support of space I like learned that and I had to be taught that in a different kind of contacts to be there for someone who has been assaulted and we need more of this Hunter training that will help us be a better friend better advocated better cursing in relation to anyone who has been through this and cousin when it comes to a medical contacts that guy I am doing my best to be much more sensitive and much more caring so that I can not be an imposing figure out where someone who’s telling someone how they need to handle their life but just we we all have this innate deep wisdom into what we need to move through things and survive sometimes we need someone to say you got it you know what to do I’ll be here for you you’re not going to fall and if you trip I’ll help you get off it’s okay so with that learning in that understanding a bit more of an understanding its myself and what I needed I am there’s there’s something that certainly and development in love or text you create a container or more a different kind of sensitivity training that isn’t just for it professionals and certain contacts but for anyone who wants to be I support not sure what that looks like 100% but something has got to come out of this something good absolutely will one of the most dramatic results that I experienced at a very tender age was luckily I mean I was running screaming crying spitting gagging I’m glad to be alive but totally in shock and and just devastated and I ran for I don’t know a couple of miles it had to be at least two to go to where I thought I would find the one the one member of my street family gutter Punk tribe who is my the want the the the woman who I was so enamored with and who I will do I beg to take my virginity and and she was just my my queen goddess protector very thin how lucky I was that I found her and that she was there and she just let me curl up on her lap and and cry and like everybody else on the street had been through it and people would walk by and just be like oh yeah your cherry pop welcome to the life you know who you are you know and so and I you know I heard it was interesting just looking back at the the response of those of those folks and just kind of having my flashbacks you know a bit here in in and I would say that it was a blessing coz she she was just a spare changing where I thought you would be on the sidewalk and she just went up she just I was there curled up crying and just kind of nestle into her and she continue to we just were there until very late and we’re just doing what we used to doing what you do what you was doing and luckily she had a place that she was staying so she could have bring me there and let me take a shower and have me lay down and and seal from that point from the extreme of being literally having my life threatened and and being assaulted that’s a combination that is is extra debilitating the to go from being totally spleen out like that with the you know sort of near-death sexual assault experience surviving it escaping finding her and then being in her care for at least that night and those critical hours were I don’t know I don’t know if you know like if I would have gone straight into a squad car or something or straighten to email into it or just not had found her if she wasn’t there I would have gone so much further down into I can’t even imagine it from that cuz I was one of the first and most extreme circumstances I don’t know what is right for you and I don’t know what the most healing or best most appropriate thing is he for you now in this moment or you know there’s no judgment or no would have should have could have hindsight 20-20 I can just say what what what I’ve appreciate about what was helpful for me and how lucky I felt knowing that I guess relative to other people or other conditions where you know I would if I had woken up in a hospital and didn’t even barely remember what happened in only bits and pieces came back over time you notice all kinds of different scenario so I just want to I guess in this moment say thank you to the Angelic spirits that created the synchronicity so that my the pendulum from extreme trauma went to a pendulum of Me Bonding and getting closer with somebody who I feel most comfortable with and who I who could make it possible for me to in a way not hate myself forever and just be like yeah you know what there’s no escaping it there’s you or it was bound to happen and you’re lucky to be alive and we’re here for you and now now you’ll just have to be that much more Street Smart yeah I should have known better why didn’t I do this you know and then and then the and I had already been a martial artists and I’d already been in that was the it’s even more devastating when you think you’re a badass and you like yeah I know all my moves everything but then all it takes is someone to just let you be slightly relaxed and be within your your your inner Zone and then if they’re really have like 50 times as much muscular strength as you there’s not much that you can do no matter how much of a ninja you you tried to be and that that’s probably the biggest hardest thing is to like forget for me forgiving myself for being lured into a defenseless State okay well what if I wasn’t here to be a ring fighter a cage fighter I was here to be a sexual shamanic fight and that I had to have that that knock out that technical knockout had to happen for me to to redouble my efforts into know why I’m here what I would have to know their know their weaknesses and their pattern if I’m at war with this greater monsters entity that is the The Intergalactic Spirit of sexual abusers that is all about animated into some multi-headed monster well I’ve got to expect that that it’s going to knock me down a few times before I knock it down and so in that sense if it was the battle but not the war in it and in it and now all of the battles that I lost Stephanie now is that I feel like yeah you were low-level like a larval demonic perpetrators who who who took cheap shots at me when I was barely developed at all like there’s no sport there there’s no dignity for you there now when we go into the bigger Arena the triumphant attitude and vibe that I want to have it puts in a context of like will coup if you were a spider and you and you really got embarrassingly knocked out like in 2 seconds when the first punch in the ring and everyone laughed at you and it was the most shameful and images demoralizing thing you if if you didn’t notice till I get up and fight and win that round but if you quit your career and you walked off and you spent all your you know you if you built up so much of your life to be a career fighter and you just like fold after one loss then that would be the real tragedy but as long as you take that experience and you learn from it and you and you really study the mistakes and you really look at animals saying this to you like I’m not being paternalistic to you but I’m saying like a zit a sexual shamanic spiritual Warrior that’s what I’d the archetype I’m trying to build here let it go let it we let us all have nothing but winning streaks just because I had the shameful embarrassing sexual exploitation kind of Journey with being a warrior that doesn’t mean that I’m it actually is is is life-affirming and invigorating and I believe that we will we will be assembling teams that will make safety and numbers more more of an established more common kind of Paradigm where we just I mean I’ve even joke let’s just what I would love to just walk back to back for the rest of my life with and with other even it’s like two people you could be walking crab legging back-to-back everywhere you go to the SIP to the mall to the store you know to get on the bus to get anywhere just that level of a vigilance will be what my heart craves and then in a group of people you could all be shoulder-to-shoulder and walking in a circle and just linking arms and slowly moving to this treacherous reality and and I would love to have that that level of full-time Vigilant 24-hour rotating watches total perimeter Security on a rape freezone but right now we’re just going to win a world where if you were just in our loan bodysuits and we’re really for its everything is left to chance and Mercy by those who are willing to do to cheat yeah so I don’t know how you feel and there’s no obligation to respond and I just wanted to share with you what what I at this moment would I have what I feel is the most done revitalizing in in NC refund invigorating as this this work on full of so thank you for acknowledging what I had and we’re also sharing your own experience and I hate that that happened to you and that it happens to people and these creditors feel they can get away with certain things and they know that they can because he do live in a society that is permissive to a lot of behaviors and a lot of things are just so underground that I think they like it’s so outside of everything around for many people that they don’t even believe this these types of experiences that we experienced happen or they find a way to to blame the Survivor because that just makes it make more sense to them like I don’t know it couldn’t have been this other person’s fault but it does and I I wish we could all be so hyper-vigilant for each other that this would eradicate all of me demonic slugs how you speak of but what has been super powerful for me healing and tough as well as speaking about it talking about it letting if I’ve taken a few weeks off of my Instagram social media because things have been not very easy another ways my grandmother passed away but I had the next day after it happened happened on October 23rd and so on October 24th I just wrote it all out and I let it be something that I opened the floor to questions into dialogue and it’s so much more powerful for me this time around because I have been able to control the narrative I have been able to control what I’m putting out in the world in this in this way I was violated but now it’s up to me to shift things in a direction where I have some control again because this hardest thing about this assault wasn’t the violating act in and of itself it was feeling so alone like after I kind of I wasn’t I didn’t outright tell my buddy who’s friend had assaulted me like your friend assaulted me but I said yeah he made me really uncomfortable and appropriate your friends and asshole and I’m going to leave for a while so I went and took myself to dinner and I came back to an empty apartment and I didn’t see him until the following evening I’m already in a country where I’m alone and I wasn’t expecting to we’re we’re not romantic with each other at all or just friends but I wasn’t expecting to not have a friend not have anyone there like he doesn’t have any necessary operation to me but it was really hard and I wasn’t until many many many days after the assault happened that I was able to snuggle up to a person I felt comfortable with just being and cry and let myself be sad and but myself start to emotionally process this because after it happened it was just kind of like Warrior mode and okay I let my defenses down I thought I could trust someone out and now I have to just be as hyper Vigilant as I can on my own because I’m on my own for weeks now it’s just up to me and what this brings to mind is I read it fucking High School part of the trilogy by KISS Girl with the Dragon Tattoo Guardian Salter and list of characters such a warrior amazing badass and she takes her revenge in a way that’s also why I finally beautiful brutal and not that that’s what I want to do I wear that’s what I feel I need to feel any sort of Vengeance but it’s me now taking charge of the narrative while letting people know that you can I’ve been an athlete my whole life I’m a strong person pretty emotionally strong I have traveled around the world for the most part really safely and intelligently just doing things on my own but it still happened and you can be really tough and really smart and your defenses go down and words someone abuses whatever crack say find in your armor and it happens it doesn’t it doesn’t say anything about you as a person that doesn’t mean you’re weak doesn’t mean that you’re not good enough it doesn’t mean you’re stupid it just means that this person isn’t a squirrel and they took advantage and they did something that is written wrong and it’s so sad and horrible at this happens it’s something that happened and I think that I didn’t even to talk about it put it out that way and I know because people have have talked to me after I was just really open about it and saying that I don’t feel like I have to beat myself at 4 having that last drink with someone that I felt that was my friend and then getting assaulted by them it wasn’t my fault this person did this to me it wasn’t my fault that I was in this area with I’m protected in some way it’s a set of circumstances that led to this horrible event but this. Other person the person who acted on me made the decision not me the victims not to blame and that’s something that I’m really just trying to emphasize with people who were like I certainly had mostly mostly men say you should have fought him off you should have screamed you shouldn’t have been there in the first place and it’s just repetitive if you can’t equate what happened to me because it was a situation where maybe you would have felt sexually charged being in a room by yourself with a woman you can’t make someone compared me to or compare the situation truck by like if I leave my bike on a busy Corner unlocked and someone takes it like that’s my fault so you being in a room with someone where you’re getting a massage and he’s a man or a woman you sent it is you putting on steak out on the table for a hungry dog like of course this happens like no you when you’re a professional you don’t go into this profession to assault people hopefully you going through it to heal people and if you’re claiming that you’re a Healer and doing something that’s the office that you’re a bad person and it’s not your clients fault that you’re a Apple I think that out of that and hoping to shine a different kind of night on this thing that happened to me I hope has been helpful in some way to other people because at least been helpful for me I’m glad you have a positive attitude and everything you say I’m totally aligned with in some days are easier than others today is a good day yeah I guess I would ask if you comfortable sharing since the the the date of the incident how would you describe the just the like as if you were mine you know I guess what I’m going to I’m wondering is the emotive expressive did you feel like you wanted to do something cathartic in a form of art or expression or did you if you felt like a total void in your creativity or how has how has the more subconscious send more energetic flow and effects been just cuz I feel like that’s doesn’t everybody wants to fix the problem specially man you know they want to get it over with or did you go to treatment are you in therapy now you know who are you dating again whatever and it’s like that’s on the surface of what you think about this order from the cerebral like I want to feel more expensive what coping strategies that you have developed on an energetic level or just you know how your dreams how are your how do you how are you sleeping to the colors of like seem to ebenflow from grayscale you know there’s just the more you poetry of surviving an experience to those are the things those are the guess the neglected aspects of the Arc of violence is like the those unknown language bull currents that that are flowing deeply so I don’t know if you can put words to that or maybe you will put song to that or dancer expressive movement or something to spend the most healing for me has been r y favorite mode is with the written language I write a lot I create a tree and I have investigated my mind and my heart and my spirit and my soul and my past present and future with word reading it for myself I had a cleansing ritual this past weekend where I wrote all nine different pieces of paper something that was holding me past that I wanted to let go of and from letting go what what I want to welcome in something in the present that was not serving that I wanted to release and welcomed something in its place and something that an image of the future that was pervasive in my mind that I wanted to release and replace with something different and it was a day where it was raining gray I had been feeling really bad that we can do is just a depressed not feeling productive for positive about the Future III all type of week now and I wrote These nine different things from three different time Ingles and I have a metal offend I put frankincense and copal resin and I let each paper away fire from The Stick of Palo Santo after I read it out loud and I dropped it in and I did that nine times until I was through with my stack of paper when I let it burn and I stood in this amazingly scented smoke and just let it swirl around me until it wasn’t that it was a smoking so much anymore and I put it out to Washed by the rain and I just stood there I felt like I was letting go of some of the things that we’re really holding me back and I as much meditation as I can do it as much time as I can spend on my yoga mat I was still getting these Cyclospora palliative thoughts of things that were harmful and things that would come up in dreams that were scary and I had the chance to face it speak out loud say it is no longer welcome here not replacing it the things that are positive and from that point forward I have felt a burden lifted and a light in my life shining that has been missing since this happened and also feeling like it sucks to not have someone who I can really turn to on a on a person-to-person level III not to say that I haven’t had friends who are being fully supportive because I have butt not someone that I feel really gets it and it was something we’re finally felt okay I didn’t feel like I was broken or damaged for not having that and I could be a support to Myself lyrics and I could State myself and enjoying my body for the sake of bringing about pleasure and I could and and I hadn’t danced in a while I think yeah I’ve been pretty sporadic that I had really been embodied in movement and all this week has been back in the studio feeling like I can’t get in my body again in a way that’s awesome Tech and not shaking from something scary that happened but just like okay I’m coming back so I have been welcoming myself back with movement and I released everything with word and I’m looking forward to seeing what else I can create what else will come from this what else someone might be inspired to bring forth through this all right I love collaborations and experiments and just exploring these beautiful artistic Realms with others and I’m sure that I will love what comes from this wise words so often you hear the trait kind of Silver Lining glass half-full kiss kind of from nuages and Isabel positive thinking and informations and appreciate the sincerity in in the way that you feel the way that you have it’s it’s it’s a very deep and Redemptive where do you express this in I want to applaud you for having this I hope you can applied yourself for having been that it’s it’s basic knowledge that what your what your your level of clarity and level of purposefulness and and healthy response I is it’s weird because the temptation to cool and sink deep into an abyss that’s that’s really how they beat us you know that’s really what they want and if we stand up to the after effects and we don’t fold in and I keep telling myself on my dude don’t let this triggering moment crush you like a tin can and and if you just don’t let anything crush you like a tin can you you help other people there’s so many canned responses to on all sides of these events in whether they are often ways to just hide from deeper truths or to avoid through formalities just avoid a deeper responsibility of care and I would say that what I pray for for all of us and all the survivors in the past and future survivors that will be is that the culture that will the human culture gets to a point where we we have Survivor leave from work from school from all of their duties that we have do we have families and parents have budget set aside for if these things happen so that a buffer can be created from any financial responsibility for any any give me the time that it takes I I just all I care about for myself as like I would consider a high level of success and wealth just to just to be able to press a button hypothetical button or a magical imaginary button when I need it’s like okay no one needs to know exactly what I’m going through in this moment but it could take a few days or a few weeks or a few months I don’t know but I want to always be able to put everybody and everything on on a on an elegant pause An Elegant hold and don’t worry about me I’m not going to kill myself I just want to go on to cannabis, and meta bait alone somewhere and in the worst thing is is it to me the worst thing is that Guillotine always coming down on my head of when the bills are due how much money is available to me and so is his chronic that hamster wheel ism is it safe to have sex with your sexual abuse trauma Survivor is like you’re on a hamster wheel of razor blades you know it’s it’s not pleasant and it’s not easy to go through the motions of traffic and stress and workload it’s all mostly bulshit anyway you know what I mean even if it’s for a good cause it’s still so wrapped up in 8 hour work days and deadlines and being on your you know responding to emails in like no one wants to get an auto reply that says PTSD meltdown see you whenever by and I certainly haven’t been able to only a few cases only a few chapters in my life have I been blessed to be able to actually sink into the Stillness to actually retrieve the Stihl Parts cuz they’re just right there you know but you’ll never will never be able to slow down enough I mean I don’t want to say the never hear it the way that they’ve rigged this whole reality is it like oh you got you were bolitas and you were bullied and on the playground or well you’ll never have time to actually deeply consider how that affects you because she hears the next thing to do on your to-do list on your pile of things to do at your desk with her to school or work or whatever or you or or becoming a parent and just seeing that I know parents who were trying to recover from all kinds of abuse and Trauma and and it’s beautiful that they have this vicarious Joy A New Hope full refreshing view of a potential for a more safe and Morris Saints I’d life for people care in her present but even that is still takes they still need a vacation to be able to really sink in and it just has hamster wheel Rat Race even if you’re not aspiring to be the most richest most famous most Fast Company fast money entrepreneur and you just are going kind of with the flow that flow is not designed to give us any real deep space time abundance to two kind of connect a bunch of dots and rinses reflects so I just been praying that what if we don’t single-handedly wipe out all demonic parasitic sex demons on Earth in our lifetime that it very least we change the Paradigm of people knowing that okay this this this disgusting disease perversion of mostly male Egos and male sexual sexuality is is not going to go away maybe not go away really anytime soon but our cultural adaptive strategies to it existing can be a lot more intelligent and they can be a lot more and it can be precluded to mean the way that we the way that we can quarantine Ebola we can quarantine this as a culture but it takes it takes a way more in enlightened approach to what we’re going to need to do to to not only prevent possible circumstances and I even would say that something that this is not a game this is about by no means to to for either of us as survivors or to anyone else who are survivors if it’s not too along that line of thinking of of like you’re saying about well that the cliche is asking for it by whatever means that by whatever measure but what I would say is that I would say we are all asking for it when we do not create social sexual containers were there are there are referees for overseeing all every single sexual act that happens between two people because this Cult of private and idea that who’s in order to enter if I want to have sex with this woman I can’t let her know that and some appropriate sort of dance of a way I have to intoxicate her kind of push her into the night late at night so I know when the buses stop running I know when she’s going to have to rely on me for a ride wherever I’m going and it’s like that is the whole modus operandi is that people are not comfortable being sexual in groups therefore they lose the buddy system when when they get aroused and it’s like no you need the buddy system more in bed than you do crossing the fucking Street everybody that we need to be able to say oh yeah naked stuff sure butts grabbed 10 people to hang out and enjoy it with us and then you will be 10 million times less inclined to see what you can get away with because no one can hear the screams or no wonder we’re too far away from you know the light or whatever those those files circumstances are that these that these mostly men are there rape artists and II when I first heard that term I was shocked and mortified and Intrigue they don’t know what they don’t know about how sweeter and better and more gratifying it is to actually earn the affection that you still desire and earn the the the touch that you would like to have or that you would like to share with someone else so it’s going to be a long road ahead for sure and and I’ve got your back and I’m glad that others do and I will say that those are the best and kindest words and most invigorating words that I can come up with an LSA that at this point in our conversation I want to give it back to you to share all of the thoughts and feelings that you feel called too and to also please do if you’d like to share some just words directed at our listeners who will be looking to engage with your work and connect with you online and enough so hopefully offer support and various ways to your ongoing projects and interview going through these These Times of healing and yeah oh you it is it is all you know where some share and hearing I’ve got your back is powerful and invigorating an absolutely kind listening really hot outside what you have gained from this as positive I know it was it was probably pretty tough to hear some of it for many of you and thank you for I can threaten listening I I can turn out no matter what it is your experience think you’re not alone if you want to reach out to me at any time I am accessible yet my social channels on Instagram I’ve got an email on my website and and if you want to throw this up somewhere where your listeners can take away those magical channels please that would be great I am performing around Los Angeles for the next few months until I complete my next. So that I can come back and teach people to teach other people continue to spread this wonderful yummy yogurt business and I’ll be hosting several workshops in the coming months so throw that up on Instagram when dates are finalized but I’m super excited about it and I hope that you are too because it high going to be as authentic as I can make it and really becoming more fully embodied with whatever it is we’re experiencing and yeah I’m I’m here for you I need some of you see this I look forward to it be awesome shoot me a line and I thank you again for having me back thank you yes always welcome anytime and wishing you absolutely the best for you homecoming adventures and now I hope our iPads cross and lsbn touch the name of the book that I mentioned earlier esoteric anatomy of the body is consciousness by Bruce Berger so now more than ever I feel compelled to redouble my studies and my understanding of how to how to move blockages and move yeah move move foreign objects that get lodged in our energy field through these whether they were I’m just getting a visual right now that I guess I want to I want to throw in at the very end of here I’m seeing now like a medical kind of schematic drawing that shows how when it could even be just sexual harassment verbally it’s just like when when an attack or assault happens to to a person’s energy field it’s it’s like there is a a wound surface abrasion it can be just like you know affecting the astral body in a similar way is that they have you no First Responders would know okay is it a burn is an abrasion is it a contusion is it a puncture is it an impalement and these are all terms you know you learn what tools to apply in a first aid situation and to identify them and in all cases if there is a breaching of the outer barrier of the skin the protective layer that key sir organs in our blood and all of our precious vulnerable cellular material however the breach occurs whatever the nature of the breach is it becomes a moment of opportunity for opportunistic organisms to infect that that area and so when I think about the emotional body that he has to about the delicate sexual body the these levels of our being set when when when we get wounded in these ways it’s an opportunity a tragic opportunity for dormant dormant material dormant pathogenic material in other parts of our astral body to sniff that out and to go and try to reactivate themselves it’s an opportunity for just whatever was in the room at the time to jump in I’m bored and to be a stowaway on your ship of your being and there is the introduction of exactly what was a particulate matter of the perpetrator themselves and that can be transmitted to sound waves from their words the creepiness the there’s multiple different categories of infectious material that opportunistically takes advantage of these the weakening of that of of the immune system of our of our total of all these levels are being so I feel like the the duty that we have talking about healing talking about psychedelics talking about orgasm talking about touch and movement as it’s it’s what we’re constantly doing is fighting off these infections and some of them are deeply lives with us and get get stirred up by new trama and some of them are just all around us all the time circling all of us on the subway and on the dance floor and it’s at the bar and say the the Heart and souls of the work that were talking about it were hoping to exude I believe is that were going to just create more and more robust and resilient systems that can be ever purified and will purify the culture and purify ourselves and you know will come back and be reincarnated and do this again and again and again and and just create those light tendrils and let them be less hindered and let the harmonies of our yeah what the harmonies really be sweet and and and beautiful and let this this really vile ugliness kind of get more quarantined in eventually composted yeah absolutely alright then where you have a wonderful night and then just want to put it out there feel free to Lean on Me call text last Christ high fives you’ll be hearing from me all right you have a wonderful deep restful nursing sleep then is going to be late so have a good night thank you for listening to the touch of Time Podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition of sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple after bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email band at Tantra Punk. Com Thomas Day