Monthly Archives: July 2017

Partimony the Tantric Re-Birthday TPP121

Play


In this episode I feature a recent spoken word piece I recorded to document a peak erotic experience in the form of a tantradelic birthday party/ceremony that was organized for a dear beloved priestess. I introduce the piece with commentary that provides some background and offers a greater context for its political-ideological significance.

How to Cure Pornophobia with Chanel Preston of the Adult Performer Advocacy Committee TPP120

Play

In this episode I have the great honor to speak with Chanel Preston the chair person of the non-profit Adult Performer Advocacy Committee. I saw her presentation at the XBiz show and was moved to become a member and to get involved. APAC is leading the revolutionary efforts to enlighten pornophobes to the artistic and liberatory value of adult entertainment and helping to end the dark ages of sex negativity.

She shares a bit of her personal history and provides a wealth of insight into the major challenges and opportunities  for adult performers. We discuss our visions for an ever more ethical, independent, and sustainable future for the industry.

Please visit her website and APAC:
http://www.chanelpreston.com/

http://www.apac-usa.com/

About Chanel:
Every destination is accessible via countless paths. There is no checklist or guidebook on how to become a progressive feminist or advocate for change – as a result, Chanel Preston (born Rachel Taylor) took an unusual, more challenging route, when in 2010, she filmed her first of more than 400 sex scenes for the adult entertainment industry.

Born and raised in Fairbanks, Alaska, the state is in Chanel’s blood. Its nonconformist mentality and fearlessness have always been evident in every decision she’s made, and her choice to become a porn star at 24-years-old was no different. However, porn was not the end goal for Chanel – rather it was a way to further explore her sexuality, how it defined her as a woman, and her role in patriarchal America.

Chanel Preston was instantly a superstar – a Penthouse Pet, multiple award-winner, and host of the AVN Awards (the “Oscars of porn”). Despite the accolades, it was her work behind the camera to change public perception on the adult industry and better it from within that Chanel is most proud.

In 2013, Chanel co-founded the Adult Performer Advocacy Committee (APAC), the adult industry’s first performer organization working together to maintain and improve safety and working conditions through organized representation. As APAC’s Chairperson, Chanel has been on the front lines of the industry’s fight against government legislation affecting performers’ health. Her work educating the general public on the dangers of Measure B, AB 1576, and Proposition 60 contributed to the Free Speech Coalition naming her its 2015 Performer of the Year, an award for one “who has gone out of their way to dispel the myths and misconceptions of the adult entertainment industry.”

Fans were not the only ones who gravitated towards Chanel. Her intelligence and eloquence quickly made her a media darling, as popular news outlets CNBC, The Daily Beast, Huffington Post, Forbes, Cosmopolitan, and more turned to Chanel for everything from political commentary to sex advice and op-ed articles. Television station RTTV continually brought Chanel on-air as a spokeswoman for the adult industry. Desiring to control her own narrative and create a healthier discussion on sexuality in America, Chanel launched the online platform NakedWithChanel.com.

Chanel further refined her voice and communication skills through hosting jobs for Showtime documentaries, Canada’s Rogers TV specials, and the cable series “Inside Adult,” known as the “Entertainment Tonight” of the adult industry. Her ability to convey her conviction and passion while maintaining professionalism led to multiple speaking opportunities at universities and on event panels.

People are quick to label porn as misogynistic, just as they are to dismiss porn stars as stupid girls or victims. Anyone who hears Chanel Preston speak or reads her words knows how far from the truth this is. Chanel works to destroy all of these misconceptions by pulling back the curtains on the taboo adult industry and introducing the world to the very real people who make their living by having sex on camera. She hopes public familiarity will breed understanding and ultimately respect.

AI Generated Transcription:
(Want to help with corrections? Please contact me to learn about rewards for your efforts!)

Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear beloved welcome to Township Park podcast episode number 119 I have a huge grin on my face because I’m very excited that we’re going to be speaking with Mariko passion AKA The Goddess Kaya she’s coming at us from Tokyo Japan and the way we met was very beautiful we were kind of both I’m doing Tantra workshops in the LA area and she joined a meet-up that I establish called pansexual Tantra and and she came into the first time we met at it was kind of a sacred circle jerk it was an experimental Opportunity Act created for meant for intentionally for men but really for anyone cuz it’s pansexual time should we have been reopened everything so she blessed us with her presence and I think it really added a lot to the experience of having these men feel comfortable pleasuring themselves amongst other men and it was just a beautiful experience for me and then we we collaborated further we we had a Kundalini monologues event where she headlined the event with the Beautiful music offering that I’m sure we’ll get to hear more about and also we did there was a pretty amazing experience we had I love to get your perspective on it too as we get into this but where we did kind of a freestyle somewhat somewhat loosely held container of of a Collie invocation ceremony and things got pretty wild and I was really stoked on on what happened there so those are just a few of the highlights we also went to a she invited me to a swap meeting sex workers Outreach project in LA and that was interesting but I know there is it’s interesting so bridge-building between you know activist organizations and sacred sexuality Tantra and the tactics of compassionate what not we’re all at play in that in that evening so and then yeah we’ve just been in touch and we both had similar training well some of our training has been has been similar we both stood 10th request Tantra counselor training with Sean Roof Inn San Diego at different times but yeah we’ve just been kindred spirits and I also did some session work with her that we can talk about but yeah well that’s to say I’m very grateful to know you Mariko and I’m excited to know more about you and have you share about your Life Path and what has transpired to make you the beautiful wonderful awesome you were being that you are so without further to do please bless us with your story and we’ll start there oh my goodness thank you babe and I’m a say I totally just got the lowdown of our timeline and we do have a rich history so thank you for being a part of that so much has shifted for me since I’ve moved to Japan so it’s good to kind of remember who I was when I was in Los Angeles which wasn’t that long ago it’s now been one year and one month pregnant countries but yeah good and bad memories right what makes a friendship cheaper is that you to go through some pretty deep dark places together and come out the other end and you usually do come out the other end which is something that you don’t believe is possible but it’s almost always is so how far back are you comfortable going in your personal life history timeline to kind of put in contacts that you’ve become really a rare gem in the world if you know what you could what you could be doing you know starts at 12 possibly or maybe 11 or 10 I’m half-japanese ethnically my mother is Japanese was born in Japan and when I was 10 11 12 I would go I requested to learn more about my culture and so she took me to Japanese school which is just every Saturday we would just learn a little bit about the language and sing some songs and see some kid games and stuff but I was in a school with other sort of expat children of from Japan so they were way too far ahead in their Japanese than me I was like I’m not as indicating which is a type of Japanese person but not from not born and raised in Japan so I’m a Japanese-American basically but there’s Japanese peruvians Japanese on Brazilians are on the case and so we are are the community of Global Citizens who sometimes come back to Japan and sometimes just continue to live where they live and we have a unique perspective on our culture which is still inherently Japanese at its root right and so that’s what brings me here to Tokyo and I’ve been living here for a year living my dream my lifelong dream images to re-acclimate with a lost culture learn my language and get to know my relatives that I haven’t talked to some of them in 28 29 years well as far as your career path towards becoming I guess we could give you some titles you know you are a certified Tantra counselor and also do you want to can I give folks a sense of who you are and what you do in the world as a goddess has got his kayak as all of these hats if you are so I came to Japan on a tourist visa and I knew that I would be okay even though I was scared shittless and I would cry everyday and the prep to moving to Japan but I had already under my belt a 3-year experience of running my own pontrich life coaching business in Los Angeles and different parts of the US but mostly in La so I’d come to Tokyo just to see if this would work out and work out and it’s not as frequent of a business that is as it is in Los Angeles cuz I actually still use Backpage here and Tokyo and it’s not as saturated as it would be in any US city even after their big shut down Backpage is still more saturated in the dating section than to Tokyo body rub or escort pages so I don’t identify as a sex worker but I do use sex work portals to attract my clients into a contract pass so I within a week or so I’m able to work here as a country guy and so that tells me that things are possible for me here and took you I can actually survive here I can live here as I may have to get a second job or you know some other way of making money but certainly I can do Tantra here in English because I wasn’t I’m still not fluent in Japanese in Japanese but I’m not able to do my sessions in Japanese yet I’m doing a deal with Japanese speakers wear because it’s sort of a residency or a way for me to practice practice session it’s really cheap it’s about on the equivalent of $100 an hour which is like 60 70% less than an hour us and then a hundred and it is super flexible it’s not I don’t charge by the hour I charge by the outcome I charge by the session necessary and my clients know that it’s not by the hour it’s a rough I give them so I usually end up really end up being to their advantage I usually give them more time because I feel like I’m not done or I have something that I’d like to show you and this would work out well since we’re already to build the connection with our clients sometimes it’s a lot of time so I make sure to take that time with them because I feel like they’re worth it and they’re healing is important to me so I take as much time as as necessary without going completely overboard for either of us that’s cool I like that business model so do you want it how is the I’m super curious how this you can see wisdom tradition is healing modality this technology how is it driving with the kosher there so far what what are some some key points that you’ve discovered so my Discovery here for foreigners for expats for digene is what we’re called foreigners gaikokujin is that we have feelings of isolation here in Japan and that it’s a very common thread as it’s common for myself as well so a lot of the times when we’re doing our work we’re healing what needs to be healed within us and so this really works out quite as I can I can empathize with my clients I understand the loneliness I understand feeling isolated and I understand you know I have more of an advantage because I speak Japanese I looked up and he is I you know I’m I’m constantly learning a language I have time to do that I have time to do that so a lot of my clients are not doing that my clients are two types of people they are international businessmen of a high-caliber so they’re coming to Tokyo to sidhu Deals International deals do you know they’re from Singapore are there from Vietnam there from wherever they are from and they’re coming to this major city capital to do business for a few days open stores open branches of Tokyo excetera then my second type of clients are military men who are usually high rank some because my fees are not cheap so I’ve had several or two notable Military Officers who have flown me to their bases and work has a submissive so they called me in to train them to be a submissive all right yes that’s why I when is Market here in Japan is a military man who wants to be dominated with compassion Keep Ya without obviously you don’t violate any confidentiality can you give us some insights into some of those Dynamics are just generalities it seems very well I should say before before I I I should practice breakfast at by saying my my new political ideology thesis is that women are actually still in control of everything you just have to find if you if you want to get through to a politician you have to find his dumb and then you could have influence over him because she because the Dom has the highest leverage Point literally holding him by the balls and sometimes twisting by the balls so I was very curious if you could elaborate on what you’re doing there with the dumbing the high ranking military officers combines Tantra and King and therapy and so that’s kind of what I’ve learned to do it’s not standard S&M BDSM I’m not just playing with people I’m not just doing things to them or living out their fantasies it’s not fantasy work just like a regular Tantra session is not really fantasy work I’m not dressing up like a goddess and doing a belly dance for you I’m doing so in that same regard I’m not going to wear outfits I don’t really do things that I don’t specialize in within the Realms of King there’s so much that I don’t I know nothing about I don’t touch that. I’m not interested in I’m not actually a sadist I’m not actually a masochist when I pour flu is on someone’s head it’s not decoration it’s actually a goddess ritual that I teach them to receive the blood of the Goddess they I see some to receive the fluids of the Goddess so all of the fluids yellow red and vaginal fluids are all warships in the same right and it’s not a fetish per say however if they have that background and they can access it quicker I can draw them in in that way but there’s a lot of talking screening that goes on before I to see if we’re a good match because if you are really invested in running your script around fetishes and Kinks him you’re not interested in going deeper or learning anything new you’re not teachable you’re not coachable you’re not ready to worship the goddess you’re not interested in that you’re just interested in your orgasm then we’re not a good match because it’s slow my work is slow and it’s definitely compassionate it’s nice like I said there’s a lot of things that I don’t do I dress up and outfits when I feel like I want to dress up I you know I know a few things and I make it creative it’s creative to me I have to be mutually pleasurable to me I don’t know how to whip you I don’t know how did you keep a cushy body ties I don’t know how to do electric shock therapy there’s so many things I don’t have special equipment I don’t you know like so if you read all that and you’re still okay with that and that is a good match for me in a lot of these guys they just want to be kind of in a in a DS relationship which I like doing I build Subspace that way by beginning to have a text relationship or a SMS some kind of a Skype kind of messaging relationship where we’re getting to know each other I mean it’s definitely a willing co-defendants that. That begins and I get to know them do that they call me goddess I called him you know like each other love each other I always say that I dominate with love I done with love and compassion I’m so that’s how most Mistresses and goddesses operate it’s this lack of that they may admit it later but it’s not something that’s an over it sort of yes my my greatest weapon is my heart and so I will love you you know until you are a puddle on the ground and that’s pretty powerful actually and what I found is more powerful than the whip so yeah I’ve had two very intense travel dominant-submissive sort of emergence with various officers it all been so eye-opening you know like it’s just been such an honor to serve and to be served as both an honor to serve and be so bright that we in Tantra should recognize that there is a duality that goes on that we’re constantly shifting that I’m never completely a top I’m also in service to my bottom right so that I’m serving them I’m serving them in their healing and I’m always keeping in regards their choice their their desired what their outcomes right we don’t have goals and what did you come to me to explore so recently and May and the sub decided that he wasn’t his words were I’m not emotionally invested in what we’re doing anymore I need to end this until I have a moral obligation as a responsible dominant that sounds like a safe word to me right so and I gave him that often always before I give my clients my son misses you know no matter if that came for. They always have the option to stop doing the work I’m paid before we start but you have the option to not continue So after 24 hours of my working with him in Okinawa he decided to hit eject and I allowed him to do that like instantly with the passion okay I support you I love you great thank you for working with me it’s heartbreaking to me it felt awful and I cried about it but myself my responsibility was to allow them to go you know like that they it’s not about me and my progress in my process they always have choice I’m a night I respect that choice that is what I feel my moral obligation to do so that’s cool so what is the what is the disciples I could come once a week or I know some of these can be more a mini vacation for the client you know to the taken on a tour that can last for days going into deep places so what was the typical pattern or what are some of the ranges that gets even held we we initiate a contract and once I get a deposit from them then I feel comfortable like starting to do my work so there’s an intake process they fill out and then take a questionnaire about their history about their intentions what they like to learn or discover deeper and then I then I start to do my work which is researching what would be the best tools to use during our sessions researching about things that I may not know about that are in their history it is definitely therapeutic academic work that I’m doing and I have not trust my training with Francesca but I have you no other activists background I have a postgraduate degree and things like that that help me be able to do this kind of 1 to 110 approaching I’m in a way that they trust so giving them articles to read and we’re talking on Skype and usually we’ll talk every week probably our in-person meeting has been planned for two to three weeks in the future and so I’ll meet with them twice for an hour but in between that I’ll be sending them articles or we’ll be talkin you have any question and if there are dominant and submissive men during this time I’m calling them my sub and I’m I’m I’m building Subspace by by doing what I do as a dominant which is kind of slowly starting to to see to give them tasks to prepare for a recession in a dominant submissive way but I don’t do that with other people that are not in the king crown but again all the people all the clients have to be teachable so they have to be willing to read and do homework and asked me about that and because we can’t build unless there’s a back-and-forth so now it’s it’s definitely validating for me to hear what sounds like you are a revolution of the experience of having a commanding officer but one that’s committed to your spiritual and sexual development as much or more as your ability to Via effective killing machine all day yes sir yes mam right and there’s no passion in that you’re trained as a military person to be a machine and to be a yes or no question what we’re doing in Syria just do it don’t question our ties to Russia just do it right so just do it and they have actually in Okinawa especially military radio in their in their car is that that that elicits propaganda right so it’s it’s a real thing that they’re prepping to bomb North Korea anytime anywhere is what they what I keep hearing anytime anywhere you know so Springsteen or some other American pop songs on mainstream radio on the military bases I already have that they don’t have someone who’s leading with who’s authoritative with compassion they don’t have a mentor figure they don’t have they have someone his domineering not dominant eye dominant doesn’t need to be domineering all the time so I have authority because I have knowledge I have authority because I have I can facilitate your healing and that’s what gives me Authority I’m not an authority figure because you signed up to a contract that and I get to push you around that’s what the military is I signed a contract sister and I know that you pushing me around is going to be a part of it and yes sir yes sir I’m going to do that cuz my job I get paid to do this it’s different with coaching right they pay me they want to do it they can pull out whenever they want to see their choice they have control actually in to a certain degree and boundaries I respect their boundaries to certain degree I have to have some Freedom right there’s a usually a Navy plant you can’t say no to everything if you’re wanting to submit to me but they’re safe words there’s red yellow green you know but I get to know my submissives through the process of you know talking to them everyday for a couple weeks so I ask them questions what do you want to happen what are you looking to explore it’s a very facilitated coaching experience you know I am a guide so I’m not just doing what I want to do I’m seeing what they want and seeing if what they want by Vybz with what I want yeah I think I can do that yeah that seems like that would be fun for me yes I think I could do that and there’s so many people who I can tell right away this is not going to work out and I’m not going to do it just cuz you’re paying me nuts the difference between doing what I do and being a sex worker sex workers you say no but when I was a sex worker was about transaction transactional outcome I will do this because that’s within the range of things that I do but the outcome is certain it’s it’s because there’s a transactional I’m giving you money for this certain sex act but with my sessions is it’s not sex work because maybe those things could happen and maybe they won’t I go with the flow of what we’re doing you can’t say I need to have to I need to nail say I need to what if I get do I get to Pop’s right to Pop’s multiple orgasms can you put you know do some disc butt-plug strap-on play right okay if if I was the goddess Hera I would take that into account this is kind of what you think you want okay I’ll take a list of what you think you want and then we’ll just blow but sex work it seems like to me and all I have seven years of experience being a transactional sex worker so I feel like I do know something but they get mad if you don’t do that right it’s like you’re your responsibility to do this thing and we would often take power back by saying no it’s not and we don’t have to shit but lay that you know like we could just do drugs with you and dance around like I was always this dance of power anyway you know between the worker and the client and well this is really exciting to me so I like the words you’re using I think you’re I don’t know if you’re joining them as you as you go along or if there’s more of a broader just discourse around it but this idea I mean I’ve seen transactional sex work that’s a powerful term I mean I would hope that that that’s being used to put into context and in within feminist scholarly feminist discourse that there is the potential to do what you’re doing which is transformational and you have the power and you were only screening for higher paying clients who want to have experience of transformation and who have already in their own journey I guess either by Pastor transcended that that sense of I mean I imagine it would get boring after a while if all you were doing was making someone fake that they were interested in doing whatever you thought was entertaining for them I mean you know lad and sits on travaille Destin Garrix and at that time I was at the end of my rope you know I was like escorting had gotten to the point where I was kind of going crazy I was like I’m ready I’m ready to be coached into something else there’s got to be more for me than this I am completely drugging and numbing myself into believing that I can do this any more days that I can you know what I mean I think you were a role model for anyone who’s in that level of like you said transactional sex work to to see that there’s a way to make more money have more dignity heal yourself few others excetera excetera so yeah please the the makeover the personal Tantra makeover process I would love to hear about that and the byline of motivation is that you can have control over your work you don’t have to do what the client wants you to do you can design your work in any career in any business to be beneficial mutually beneficial to you you we have the power to do that but we often create a self-limiting cage that says I have to go to McDonald’s to work I’ve got to work at Starbucks because they give me these benefits in that benefit I must see you know these violent clients because I need to pay my rent I can’t make my minimum without we always be at his justifications right the previous to meeting Dustin and learning how I could be a time trika I was a late night escort and my hours were midnight to 6 a.m. and I felt like that was my niche market I had to see those clients cuz I was picking up who nobody else would pick up and I was making pretty a pretty decent living doing that and I felt like I wasn’t you know I try to be a high-class escort and it wasn’t working out so I was kind of I created my own Ishq market with the dirges of society and being compassionate and holding space in my own informal way for these guys who I didn’t like the sex part of sex work anymore so the drugs do drug users and drug addicts were just interested in companionship and having a human being in the room with them a lot of the time or or interested in a mutually getting high with people and talking to them and not be judged and I’m good at that so that was my career for you know that was my escort market for a few years that’s kind of what I probably did and then I’m at the time it worked out good but then with that comes violence and just you know this is the dirges of society’s there’s drugs involved there’s violence and balls and I was just tired of that kind of you know population ran into Destin Garrick at a party and then he has graciously gave me coaching for free you know pro bono coaching and so I know that you do that with your practice done and I try to just give that back to people who are willing I want to see what’s possible I know that I charge a lot of money but there are ways in which we can work together usually if if you’re willing to be teachable there’s wait there’s things that I need in life that I can time bank or I can trade or you know I can give you less and you can do your own homework but Dustin gave me about 15 hours of coaching and referrals and how to get started as a tantra teacher and that’s always been sort of a lifesaver I see that as a lifesaver you know and I always talk about that story because I’m cool yeah it’s important so we also share that teacher that’s awesome so this is really yeah this is really deep intense material and going into it it’s it seems like I don’t know if a lot of people know this but I’ve been learning more and more that you’d be surprised how how many quarter quote John Cena really they they do want the actual companionship and some of them in their own Journey just not even care so much about fucking or getting off but having the energetic and sort of psychological social intercourse if someone just paying attention then hearing them out and so was that that was more was it evolving more towards that but there is still dangerous sounds like you’re still you know places to be stuck in training we are healing ourselves and that’s what opens the door for us to be better to start a toast for you for our clients at that time had not received my own training so I was where I was at you know we’re always attracting are mirrors so I wasn’t conscious of my my wounds and so I would tear up with client you weren’t as conscious I was quote unquote holding space and exchanging energy with these but I wasn’t I didn’t have the awareness of what energy exchanged was exactly many people do have Tantra sex we are always energy exchanging with people we have been doing it since we were kids but once someone you know at a meet up or a lecture or a video tells them you’ve been doing this this is where it comes around this is you know how you exchange this energy this is how you meditated everything you know like all these little morsels that we give people who are willing to learn this stuff and they see oh I’ve been meditating my whole life I’ve been having sex before I even knew that word you know just happened sooner so I was doing that before with compassion you know like giving these drugs addicts you know one guy spend all his money instead of going to rehab to see me and I just held him all night and I remember his his his high infusing into me that I could feel the drugs without doing that because I can you know when we’re so close to someone’s body it is energetic exchange and I could feel the drugs coursing through his veins there was other stuff besides the drugs you know like how it must feel to want to go to rehab but then you instead are so afraid that you just spend all your money on a prostitute and just how that’s going to unfold for that person after we wake up in the morning I don’t have attachment to that but he does I didn’t get high but he did I got high on my own energetic sense but he has to pay the consequences for it not me well so you do you want to talk about your work with Swap and just what kind of advocacy and Outreach in activism is going on for sex workers and certainly in this age of changing when they first it was Craigslist and then back page and so now there’s a lot of I guess I’m not totally current with it but but there’s a lot of concern that it’s too well the policies and the enforcement strategies are actually making a problem worse than putting putting the sex workers in Greater danger than not so if you want to come and go into the political commentary by Dobie Gray so I got into full service sex work as a mentee of scarlet Harlot Carolee who’s an artist and a sex worker older she’s probably 70 now but she had done so much activism in sex work that I was attracted to that community in San Francisco her and Robin fuel has passed away from cancer since then you was the first person he was talking about decriminalizing prostitution and the first person who was compassionate and she had such Southern Charm a great smile at Shrewsbury you know warm and congenial and so is Carol Lee is someone that I still call My Chosen mother she was my hore mother and so both of them were like mine or mothers and they mentored me into feeling like prostitution or doing intercourse for money wasn’t a bad thing it was a good thing and there was a hole Community also that would you know that was doing this and we were okay and we were fine we weren’t the trash of the world so many many people were so motivated by what Robin was doing she had been arrested for prostitution and because she was an agent herself which is AKA a pimp right so she was she was being an agent to other sex workers across the borders of the states she was in a bigger case international trafficking case that most of us just get arrested for one-on-one prostitution and that’s a misdemeanor but she was in a federal felony case and was facing many many years in prison so at that time she became super vocal I’m at that time as when she started swap National and many people followed her and within that year her first year she started many many branches of this sex workers Outreach project and that was 2006 and I was so determined to follow her path that I said I am going to start Los Angeles has swap chapter and be the Revolutionary War revolutionary that La has never seen that that was my sense of purpose at that time and I spent seven years as an escort but the whole time that I was doing it I was really vocal and visible sex worker Advocate an artist so I’m making songs about prostitution I’m performing the song I’m singing lemonade conferences in different cities in the world and doing conferences and speaking and all of this stuff I’m I’m doing without direct pay I’m seeing myself as the Robin Hood of sex work activism so I’m taking my my income from my clients and using it to advocate for the rights of the workers 7 years I did that I’m so but at the end of that seven years was when I met Justin the work was starting to chip away at me and even the activism to start take starting to chip away at me because I wasn’t getting paid you do get tired of using your income to do to do social justice work it does get it’s not sustainable and it says burn you out and evidently we need to get paid for the work that we do no matter what the work is so that was the end of the seven years and so I was looking for a new identity and many many years after that I guess it took three or four years before maybe I even trained in Tantra and Chris was not interested in doing activism in the same way that I was doing it before because there’s also kind of interpersonal interaction Unity struggles that happen with people who have experienced a lot of trauma and sex workers have typically on and myself is included in this population experienced a lot of trauma and so organizing with that Community can sometimes be challenging and we sometimes will trigger and traumatize each other because we are like a like a bunch of dysfunctional orphans what kept us safe forever is you know lashing out or doing something that is crazy I mean there’s a lot of no different people on different trajectories of healing in in every community in the world right but then when you come together with like maybe a drug-using community or sex working community the percentage of people who have experienced trauma is much greater and this community to sex your community is not really willing to to say that sentence even because we as an activist Community who are trying to fight for our rights are not trying to make us look bad so the people who want sex work too and he want prostitution to be eliminated they’re called deliciousness they will say oh all sex workers have been abused and raped in traffic and you know come from broken homes so we don’t want to answer and say yes we’ve been abused and raped and we come from broken home we want to defend against this day not know not all we don’t you know we’re all okay we’re not all abused Bubba blah you know so there’s always this back-and-forth of trying to assert that you’re saying even though you’re falling apart inside so but you know there are good examples I’m not going to say I’m not trying to say that even I’m a I’m a I’m a living example of someone who has survived a Continuum of violence but feels like I’m able to have a career to be functional I you know I am a functional member of society you know I’m able to coach other people and able to have morals and boundaries and I learned from my mistakes you know we’re able to if we want to kill ourselves and I accelerated way and we make the best healers because we’ve been through the darkness ourselves and so that’s kind of how I justify my own career path is that I am three to five steps ahead of my clients and I attract the kind of clients who have been through sexual violence who are you know having feelings you know various abusive spiritual abuse is physical abuse is or are interested in exploring sexuality feel genderqueer those are the kind of people that I like because that kind of me 5 years ago you know like I understand that so yeah so that’s why I feel like I’m a good healer for for particularly men like that I’ve always attractive male survivors what do you have to say I mean just take a couple breaths here cuz that’s pretty intense work I just want to I Really applaud you and thank you so much for being that that light and not succumbing to you know like I said you you you could be a lot of other things that would be true could be a lot of other outcomes and you stand out for sure and thank you so much for all that service in in the activist were and I agree that you don’t download activist worked I didn’t get paid for and you know it does burn you out and it does deplete your resources and it’s also opportunity cost because if you’re not if you’re not building a career unfortunately this world with the energy that you have in youth which comes basically for free even if you have a bad day even if you’re a drug addict even if you have no clue about holistic health and wellness and energy you get a lot of free energy in your Youth and then as you start to age it’s gone and you if you didn’t invest and you didn’t save and you didn’t build a career path then it’s if you can get really Bleak so congratulations to you for pulling yourself out of what could have been a lot worse circumstances that wouldn’t know is really a you’re living it up because you’re the spiritual play girl that has sounds like I really did explore that but it just wasn’t for me it wasn’t as satisfying as what I’m doing now I’d gotten training and HIV testing I’d gotten training and needle exchange I’ve gotten I’ve explored maybe I could get an MSW a master of Social Work all these things to legitimate you know my experience as a sex worker but it pays very little and and the hours are intense you know and I don’t mind working hard but it just wasn’t none of none of those things that I explored getting further training in was attractive to me and also a I do want to elaborate a little bit on why I was so kind of you know I had quoted earlier or I tried to push this memory out of my mind because I just wanted to just described to the audience what happened I had spent a huge gap from activism from sex work activism because of what I described as a coup I found it swap LA but I’m the new director then like really pushed me out in a way that made me feel so unwelcome that I quit I quit the organization that I found it and he just did she completely like decided she would take over change the font changed everything and you know and I had no right to do anything is so that was so it was so traumatic to me that I quit and I lost my identity at that time and then that’s when depression really started because I’ve been this or revolutionary activism for activist for so many years and I just wanted it so I near suicidal like level you know cuz when you lose your identity that almost always triggers this this loss of meaning of life that when people I hear it all the time and no webinars and stuff people who have experienced suicidal ideations because they lost their careers their jobs identity right so my identity at that time was prostitution was doing is activism so she took over and I just stopped associating with swap La completely but you know me and you and we decided to come together for this event because there was a new director and they were having a Christmas Christmas party December 17th a day to recognize violence against sex workers and I thought okay can I do a musical performance I’ll be the music act right because that’s kind of what I’m interested in now I sing and I play the balls and it’s like spiritual chanting and I want to see you tell the sex worker community that. Tantra goddesses are sex workers in a in a sense but we’re just different kinds of sex workers were spiritual sex workers and we are still part of the community because in America doing Tantra any Hands-On work is illegal it’s seen as prostitution in so we could get arrested for that so that’s why there should be a connection we should be allowed IBS be recognized as the community it goes both ways so horse should recognize that good for a secret person to recognize street prostitutes it’s like both of us so I was a starting my presents playing music at this December 17th event so I’m playing the trumpet player and a woman comes from the audience and like the man that I stopped and that my performance is so expensive because I’m appropriating Indian culture and I need to stop right now like she and it’s such a shocker to me cuz I just was not psychically mentally prepared that anyone would basically she’s heckling me right so she’s taking me to the point that I stopped and I never experienced that you know like since I’ve become a goddess we become so much softer read as a sex worker as an escort you are the opposite of that your heart and then you’re not trusting of the worlds you’re ready to be you’re ready to defend if someone jumps on your not in that mood anymore I don’t live in that vibration so I was just like it’s frozen though and I couldn’t do anything I couldn’t move I just sat down I thought I did what she said I stop playing like that and it was be worst sort of like I always so traumatized by that you know like I am trying again to you know to give to this community and yet they’re completely rejecting my guess and you know that’s the story from earlier where I had tried to give to the community and they rejected my guess is so that’s why it was so heartbreaking and God I spent about 48 hours trying to heal from that that was really hard but yeah so the community sometimes will have those kinds of mental psychological verbally abusive kind of outbreaks and I’m just not interested in putting myself in a place where that could happen anymore so it has led me to seek community and other places of people who are interested and willing to work on themselves constantly none of us are perfect but what we have in common is that we’re always try to seek to be better we’re always trying to work on self so that we can be better for appliance we’re interested in that piece at least as I find like with a lot of other activists communities they are still interested in being right and winning fights and asserting their power through two talking points and two arguing and I’m just not interested in that in any way at all you can win that Facebook argument great is the most the kindest most raw I will be kind and wrong any day I’d rather not I’d rather be kind and wrong then unkind and right you know well this is a this is really a guy’s you you concluded that Inlet story with this this phone Redemption because I was I was pretty shocked too but I also I guess at that moment I felt like the best thing that could be done is just to not feed energy to to that lower vibration that was trying to Sir to pick a fight and I think you did a great job you really I don’t think you lost face even the way that you handled it because it was so I mean because you didn’t feed into it it stood out as being so inappropriate out of line absurd and ridiculous and laughable to me but I didn’t even I didn’t even want to give it back after I just wanted to let it dissipate into itself and disappear into the night which eventually it did and it did it did you know really open my heart to extra compassion understanding for you have to be you know if they have to deal with that in the and just knowing yeah there’s a lot of meu you earn you definitely earned your to be to graduate beyond that into just few extra myself I want to just be surrounded by people who really not walk on eggshells but really you’re conscious about being gentle and really not complaining about too much and not being really that like just not being hostile for no reason and in refining the refining everything so that you’re not you know just creating a toxic environment as much as possible you know I mean we have Heather certainly toxins in the environment that we have very little control over how much of it gets pumped into our minds and our bodies in our you know our lives and in every Dimension but anywhere that we can design a little bit of non-toxic gentleness and space to sort of DNA that’s precious so I I I feel you totally on that and I mean we don’t not fight with each other we don’t not raise our voices but it’s it’s sort of I don’t want to have that be the way that we are you know like my people I sit down to break bread with we’re not yelling and shouting about whatever opposition whatever oppressor anymore I did that for so many years and I just don’t better than fuel me anymore where it used to you know right now there’s plenty to be angry about I’m not ignorant about what’s going on in the in the US because I live in Japan I’m still paying attention I’m still American but at the same time I know that it’s not I want to I want to I want to acknowledge that there’s so many other countries out there and I’m able to get sick a broader Global Perspective now that I’ve moved to a different country and I’m not on the ground in the US and you can be angry about Trump and be angry about this and that and his supporters are are angry Bunch as well you know so we can go into it with that as the way that we saw something and I just it doesn’t matter what your causes it’s it’s what it’s what your your intention is and the way that you see a solution and how you’re going to go about that and some people are like oh yeah that’s too woo woo or hippie you just sit there and sing and chant about it I’d rather get my gun out and shoot you know everybody has a different way the same problem but it is the same problem we’re all looking for clear loving connection and understanding guess we are well well I don’t know how we can come to a better close we’re almost an hour but I just want to say if you have any final thoughts and if you know feel free and definitely plug your websites in waste connection hopefully you’re still you know recording music and putting it out there so people can check that out and Yeah more of you how do we get more of you my website is goddess kayak Wann Yen. Com goddess k a y a k w a n y i n. Com God is Kaya Kwan Yin. Calm and then that’s the website that I’ve been building for 4 years it has YouTube videos on there and it explains my session courses and what I do and it has the intake form which is the questionnaire for potential clients to see if we’re a match for the work that you would like to do with me I am putting an open invitation out to women clients a couple of because that’s not the kinds of clients that I usually get I’ve worked and specialize in male sexuality for about 17 years so when I do get female clients when I do get couples it’s exciting and great to me if you speak Japanese that’s a big discount yeah so that’s my and I’m going to be transitioning using my my boy name which is medical as my goddess name because now I live in Japan I don’t want I want them or Japanese name and I have one opening a business and it’s even get such as a form of communication for Japanese people turn on touch decided they don’t they don’t even hug when they say goodbye to each other it’s not common Society not a communication Society so communication is nonverbal communication is very different but this you know so what I’m hearing is kind of communication this kind of very training sort of verbal ideations of you no problems and stuff so when you do this it makes me feel like this there’s nothing bad in Japanese culture is a New Concept for many many adults Japanese adult kids problem kids they can go to counseling but people in Japan are still at the point where it’s kind of shameful oh my God you’re seeing a therapist psychologist that strange this is really interesting and exciting I feel like there’s going to be some crazy animated is going to come out about Mariko the the touch the touch doctor the touch since she was ending it’s unbelievable what the transformative potential is to take this to somewhere where could have such a profound in it in an immediate and such a high contrast impact so I hope you get really good rest and I hope you get to you know all the success in the world and you know eventually you’ll have the means I’m I’m I’m sure that I can see in my crystal ball that you will you’ll eventually have the means to to really come back to the ruins everything is sex work activism and be able to create much more financially empowered resource opportunities for folks you know I can see it so I think you’re going to have a beautiful life are canned and I feel blessed and thank you so much again for your support it with me and my very very first you know breaking open that little hatchling shell to to start to talk about mice Maria my offerings in in the country world so that was a great yeah Lil chapter it we were having so hopefully we’ll get a chance to it also continue to collaborate in the future weather remotely or in person but yes definitely wishing you the best and looking forward to more Adventures right when we do and you know it always marks our growth when we come together at these times right every few months every 6 months so it’s nice to do that and I’m happy to do that with you anytime regardless of geographical boundaries great will thank you so much I will definitely talk to you soon we’ll be in touch to take care bye bye thank you for listening to the touch of Time Podcast please go to www.drudgereport.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition of sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple at provide ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episode if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com

Tantric Sex Coaching in Japan with Megami Mariko Passion TPP119

Play

In this episode I’m joined by a dear friend and fellow sexual spiritual activist Megami Mariko Passion. We met a while back in L.A. through the tantra meet up community and have shared a lot of strength and solidarity as wounded healers and light workers who’ve earned our angel wings by doing the dirty work that is often marginalized. She shares deep and moving insights about the underworld of transactional sex work and ultimately provides great hope and inspiration as she describes the personally and culturally empowering tantric sex coaching work she’s now doing in Japan.

Please visit her websites at:
www.goddesskayakwanyin.com
www.tokyotantralove.wordpress.com

About Megami Mariko Passion:
Megami (meaning goddess in Japanese) Mariko (meaning child of truth) Passion, aka the goddess Kaya Kwan Yin is based in Tokyo, Japan where she moved from Los Angeles, California one year ago.  She has been practicing as a Tantra goddess practitioner for 4 years total, and throughout greater Japan since June 2016.  She coaches remotely to clients in different parts of the world and Japan, maintaining a web coaching business with U.S clients.   If it is feasible she will culminate sessions in hands on or off in person sessions in a location that is convenient for her and her client, encouraging distant clients to use Tokyo as a healing retreat destination if possible.  Her new Japan based Tantra business will be called Tantra Tokyo LOVE and she will use the name Mariko (her actual Japanese name) as her local brand name.  Ethnically half Japanese, she works hard towards expanding fluency in the Japanese language daily.   She offers great discounts to do Japanese only sessions for clients so that she can practice.   This intends to build her ability to welcome foreign and Japanese clients into her temple space.   Currently, most of her clients are English speaking foreigner men but she hopes to expand that reach, soon producing a bilingual Snuggle party in Tokyo to spark platonic intercultural and energetic exchange.

AI Generated Transcription:
(Want to help with corrections? Please contact me to learn about rewards for your efforts!)

Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear beloved welcome to Township Park podcast episode number 119 I have a huge grin on my face because I’m very excited that we’re going to be speaking with Mariko passion AKA The Goddess Kaya she’s coming at us from Tokyo Japan and the way we met was very beautiful we were kind of both I’m doing Tantra workshops in the LA area and she joined a meet-up that I establish called pansexual Tantra and and she came into the first time we met at it was kind of a sacred circle jerk it was an experimental Opportunity Act created for meant for intentionally for men but really for anyone cuz it’s pansexual time should we have been reopened everything so she blessed us with her presence and I think it really added a lot to the experience of having these men feel comfortable pleasuring themselves amongst other men and it was just a beautiful experience for me and then we we collaborated further we we had a Kundalini monologues event where she headlined the event with the Beautiful music offering that I’m sure we’ll get to hear more about and also we did there was a pretty amazing experience we had I love to get your perspective on it too as we get into this but where we did kind of a freestyle somewhat somewhat loosely held container of of a Collie invocation ceremony and things got pretty wild and I was really stoked on on what happened there so those are just a few of the highlights we also went to a she invited me to a swap meeting sex workers Outreach project in LA and that was interesting but I know there is it’s interesting so bridge-building between you know activist organizations and sacred sexuality Tantra and the tactics of compassionate what not we’re all at play in that in that evening so and then yeah we’ve just been in touch and we both had similar training well some of our training has been has been similar we both stood 10th request Tantra counselor training with Sean Roof Inn San Diego at different times but yeah we’ve just been kindred spirits and I also did some session work with her that we can talk about but yeah well that’s to say I’m very grateful to know you Mariko and I’m excited to know more about you and have you share about your Life Path and what has transpired to make you the beautiful wonderful awesome you were being that you are so without further to do please bless us with your story and we’ll start there oh my goodness thank you babe and I’m a say I totally just got the lowdown of our timeline and we do have a rich history so thank you for being a part of that so much has shifted for me since I’ve moved to Japan so it’s good to kind of remember who I was when I was in Los Angeles which wasn’t that long ago it’s now been one year and one month pregnant countries but yeah good and bad memories right what makes a friendship cheaper is that you to go through some pretty deep dark places together and come out the other end and you usually do come out the other end which is something that you don’t believe is possible but it’s almost always is so how far back are you comfortable going in your personal life history timeline to kind of put in contacts that you’ve become really a rare gem in the world if you know what you could what you could be doing you know starts at 12 possibly or maybe 11 or 10 I’m half-japanese ethnically my mother is Japanese was born in Japan and when I was 10 11 12 I would go I requested to learn more about my culture and so she took me to Japanese school which is just every Saturday we would just learn a little bit about the language and sing some songs and see some kid games and stuff but I was in a school with other sort of expat children of from Japan so they were way too far ahead in their Japanese than me I was like I’m not as indicating which is a type of Japanese person but not from not born and raised in Japan so I’m a Japanese-American basically but there’s Japanese peruvians Japanese on Brazilians are on the case and so we are are the community of Global Citizens who sometimes come back to Japan and sometimes just continue to live where they live and we have a unique perspective on our culture which is still inherently Japanese at its root right and so that’s what brings me here to Tokyo and I’ve been living here for a year living my dream my lifelong dream images to re-acclimate with a lost culture learn my language and get to know my relatives that I haven’t talked to some of them in 28 29 years well as far as your career path towards becoming I guess we could give you some titles you know you are a certified Tantra counselor and also do you want to can I give folks a sense of who you are and what you do in the world as a goddess has got his kayak as all of these hats if you are so I came to Japan on a tourist visa and I knew that I would be okay even though I was scared shittless and I would cry everyday and the prep to moving to Japan but I had already under my belt a 3-year experience of running my own pontrich life coaching business in Los Angeles and different parts of the US but mostly in La so I’d come to Tokyo just to see if this would work out and work out and it’s not as frequent of a business that is as it is in Los Angeles cuz I actually still use Backpage here and Tokyo and it’s not as saturated as it would be in any US city even after their big shut down Backpage is still more saturated in the dating section than to Tokyo body rub or escort pages so I don’t identify as a sex worker but I do use sex work portals to attract my clients into a contract pass so I within a week or so I’m able to work here as a country guy and so that tells me that things are possible for me here and took you I can actually survive here I can live here as I may have to get a second job or you know some other way of making money but certainly I can do Tantra here in English because I wasn’t I’m still not fluent in Japanese in Japanese but I’m not able to do my sessions in Japanese yet I’m doing a deal with Japanese speakers wear because it’s sort of a residency or a way for me to practice practice session it’s really cheap it’s about on the equivalent of $100 an hour which is like 60 70% less than an hour us and then a hundred and it is super flexible it’s not I don’t charge by the hour I charge by the outcome I charge by the session necessary and my clients know that it’s not by the hour it’s a rough I give them so I usually end up really end up being to their advantage I usually give them more time because I feel like I’m not done or I have something that I’d like to show you and this would work out well since we’re already to build the connection with our clients sometimes it’s a lot of time so I make sure to take that time with them because I feel like they’re worth it and they’re healing is important to me so I take as much time as as necessary without going completely overboard for either of us that’s cool I like that business model so do you want it how is the I’m super curious how this you can see wisdom tradition is healing modality this technology how is it driving with the kosher there so far what what are some some key points that you’ve discovered so my Discovery here for foreigners for expats for digene is what we’re called foreigners gaikokujin is that we have feelings of isolation here in Japan and that it’s a very common thread as it’s common for myself as well so a lot of the times when we’re doing our work we’re healing what needs to be healed within us and so this really works out quite as I can I can empathize with my clients I understand the loneliness I understand feeling isolated and I understand you know I have more of an advantage because I speak Japanese I looked up and he is I you know I’m I’m constantly learning a language I have time to do that I have time to do that so a lot of my clients are not doing that my clients are two types of people they are international businessmen of a high-caliber so they’re coming to Tokyo to sidhu Deals International deals do you know they’re from Singapore are there from Vietnam there from wherever they are from and they’re coming to this major city capital to do business for a few days open stores open branches of Tokyo excetera then my second type of clients are military men who are usually high rank some because my fees are not cheap so I’ve had several or two notable Military Officers who have flown me to their bases and work has a submissive so they called me in to train them to be a submissive all right yes that’s why I when is Market here in Japan is a military man who wants to be dominated with compassion Keep Ya without obviously you don’t violate any confidentiality can you give us some insights into some of those Dynamics are just generalities it seems very well I should say before before I I I should practice breakfast at by saying my my new political ideology thesis is that women are actually still in control of everything you just have to find if you if you want to get through to a politician you have to find his dumb and then you could have influence over him because she because the Dom has the highest leverage Point literally holding him by the balls and sometimes twisting by the balls so I was very curious if you could elaborate on what you’re doing there with the dumbing the high ranking military officers combines Tantra and King and therapy and so that’s kind of what I’ve learned to do it’s not standard S&M BDSM I’m not just playing with people I’m not just doing things to them or living out their fantasies it’s not fantasy work just like a regular Tantra session is not really fantasy work I’m not dressing up like a goddess and doing a belly dance for you I’m doing so in that same regard I’m not going to wear outfits I don’t really do things that I don’t specialize in within the Realms of King there’s so much that I don’t I know nothing about I don’t touch that. I’m not interested in I’m not actually a sadist I’m not actually a masochist when I pour flu is on someone’s head it’s not decoration it’s actually a goddess ritual that I teach them to receive the blood of the Goddess they I see some to receive the fluids of the Goddess so all of the fluids yellow red and vaginal fluids are all warships in the same right and it’s not a fetish per say however if they have that background and they can access it quicker I can draw them in in that way but there’s a lot of talking screening that goes on before I to see if we’re a good match because if you are really invested in running your script around fetishes and Kinks him you’re not interested in going deeper or learning anything new you’re not teachable you’re not coachable you’re not ready to worship the goddess you’re not interested in that you’re just interested in your orgasm then we’re not a good match because it’s slow my work is slow and it’s definitely compassionate it’s nice like I said there’s a lot of things that I don’t do I dress up and outfits when I feel like I want to dress up I you know I know a few things and I make it creative it’s creative to me I have to be mutually pleasurable to me I don’t know how to whip you I don’t know how did you keep a cushy body ties I don’t know how to do electric shock therapy there’s so many things I don’t have special equipment I don’t you know like so if you read all that and you’re still okay with that and that is a good match for me in a lot of these guys they just want to be kind of in a in a DS relationship which I like doing I build Subspace that way by beginning to have a text relationship or a SMS some kind of a Skype kind of messaging relationship where we’re getting to know each other I mean it’s definitely a willing co-defendants that. That begins and I get to know them do that they call me goddess I called him you know like each other love each other I always say that I dominate with love I done with love and compassion I’m so that’s how most Mistresses and goddesses operate it’s this lack of that they may admit it later but it’s not something that’s an over it sort of yes my my greatest weapon is my heart and so I will love you you know until you are a puddle on the ground and that’s pretty powerful actually and what I found is more powerful than the whip so yeah I’ve had two very intense travel dominant-submissive sort of emergence with various officers it all been so eye-opening you know like it’s just been such an honor to serve and to be served as both an honor to serve and be so bright that we in Tantra should recognize that there is a duality that goes on that we’re constantly shifting that I’m never completely a top I’m also in service to my bottom right so that I’m serving them I’m serving them in their healing and I’m always keeping in regards their choice their their desired what their outcomes right we don’t have goals and what did you come to me to explore so recently and May and the sub decided that he wasn’t his words were I’m not emotionally invested in what we’re doing anymore I need to end this until I have a moral obligation as a responsible dominant that sounds like a safe word to me right so and I gave him that often always before I give my clients my son misses you know no matter if that came for. They always have the option to stop doing the work I’m paid before we start but you have the option to not continue So after 24 hours of my working with him in Okinawa he decided to hit eject and I allowed him to do that like instantly with the passion okay I support you I love you great thank you for working with me it’s heartbreaking to me it felt awful and I cried about it but myself my responsibility was to allow them to go you know like that they it’s not about me and my progress in my process they always have choice I’m a night I respect that choice that is what I feel my moral obligation to do so that’s cool so what is the what is the disciples I could come once a week or I know some of these can be more a mini vacation for the client you know to the taken on a tour that can last for days going into deep places so what was the typical pattern or what are some of the ranges that gets even held we we initiate a contract and once I get a deposit from them then I feel comfortable like starting to do my work so there’s an intake process they fill out and then take a questionnaire about their history about their intentions what they like to learn or discover deeper and then I then I start to do my work which is researching what would be the best tools to use during our sessions researching about things that I may not know about that are in their history it is definitely therapeutic academic work that I’m doing and I have not trust my training with Francesca but I have you no other activists background I have a postgraduate degree and things like that that help me be able to do this kind of 1 to 110 approaching I’m in a way that they trust so giving them articles to read and we’re talking on Skype and usually we’ll talk every week probably our in-person meeting has been planned for two to three weeks in the future and so I’ll meet with them twice for an hour but in between that I’ll be sending them articles or we’ll be talkin you have any question and if there are dominant and submissive men during this time I’m calling them my sub and I’m I’m I’m building Subspace by by doing what I do as a dominant which is kind of slowly starting to to see to give them tasks to prepare for a recession in a dominant submissive way but I don’t do that with other people that are not in the king crown but again all the people all the clients have to be teachable so they have to be willing to read and do homework and asked me about that and because we can’t build unless there’s a back-and-forth so now it’s it’s definitely validating for me to hear what sounds like you are a revolution of the experience of having a commanding officer but one that’s committed to your spiritual and sexual development as much or more as your ability to Via effective killing machine all day yes sir yes mam right and there’s no passion in that you’re trained as a military person to be a machine and to be a yes or no question what we’re doing in Syria just do it don’t question our ties to Russia just do it right so just do it and they have actually in Okinawa especially military radio in their in their car is that that that elicits propaganda right so it’s it’s a real thing that they’re prepping to bomb North Korea anytime anywhere is what they what I keep hearing anytime anywhere you know so Springsteen or some other American pop songs on mainstream radio on the military bases I already have that they don’t have someone who’s leading with who’s authoritative with compassion they don’t have a mentor figure they don’t have they have someone his domineering not dominant eye dominant doesn’t need to be domineering all the time so I have authority because I have knowledge I have authority because I have I can facilitate your healing and that’s what gives me Authority I’m not an authority figure because you signed up to a contract that and I get to push you around that’s what the military is I signed a contract sister and I know that you pushing me around is going to be a part of it and yes sir yes sir I’m going to do that cuz my job I get paid to do this it’s different with coaching right they pay me they want to do it they can pull out whenever they want to see their choice they have control actually in to a certain degree and boundaries I respect their boundaries to certain degree I have to have some Freedom right there’s a usually a Navy plant you can’t say no to everything if you’re wanting to submit to me but they’re safe words there’s red yellow green you know but I get to know my submissives through the process of you know talking to them everyday for a couple weeks so I ask them questions what do you want to happen what are you looking to explore it’s a very facilitated coaching experience you know I am a guide so I’m not just doing what I want to do I’m seeing what they want and seeing if what they want by Vybz with what I want yeah I think I can do that yeah that seems like that would be fun for me yes I think I could do that and there’s so many people who I can tell right away this is not going to work out and I’m not going to do it just cuz you’re paying me nuts the difference between doing what I do and being a sex worker sex workers you say no but when I was a sex worker was about transaction transactional outcome I will do this because that’s within the range of things that I do but the outcome is certain it’s it’s because there’s a transactional I’m giving you money for this certain sex act but with my sessions is it’s not sex work because maybe those things could happen and maybe they won’t I go with the flow of what we’re doing you can’t say I need to have to I need to nail say I need to what if I get do I get to Pop’s right to Pop’s multiple orgasms can you put you know do some disc butt-plug strap-on play right okay if if I was the goddess Hera I would take that into account this is kind of what you think you want okay I’ll take a list of what you think you want and then we’ll just blow but sex work it seems like to me and all I have seven years of experience being a transactional sex worker so I feel like I do know something but they get mad if you don’t do that right it’s like you’re your responsibility to do this thing and we would often take power back by saying no it’s not and we don’t have to shit but lay that you know like we could just do drugs with you and dance around like I was always this dance of power anyway you know between the worker and the client and well this is really exciting to me so I like the words you’re using I think you’re I don’t know if you’re joining them as you as you go along or if there’s more of a broader just discourse around it but this idea I mean I’ve seen transactional sex work that’s a powerful term I mean I would hope that that that’s being used to put into context and in within feminist scholarly feminist discourse that there is the potential to do what you’re doing which is transformational and you have the power and you were only screening for higher paying clients who want to have experience of transformation and who have already in their own journey I guess either by Pastor transcended that that sense of I mean I imagine it would get boring after a while if all you were doing was making someone fake that they were interested in doing whatever you thought was entertaining for them I mean you know lad and sits on travaille Destin Garrix and at that time I was at the end of my rope you know I was like escorting had gotten to the point where I was kind of going crazy I was like I’m ready I’m ready to be coached into something else there’s got to be more for me than this I am completely drugging and numbing myself into believing that I can do this any more days that I can you know what I mean I think you were a role model for anyone who’s in that level of like you said transactional sex work to to see that there’s a way to make more money have more dignity heal yourself few others excetera excetera so yeah please the the makeover the personal Tantra makeover process I would love to hear about that and the byline of motivation is that you can have control over your work you don’t have to do what the client wants you to do you can design your work in any career in any business to be beneficial mutually beneficial to you you we have the power to do that but we often create a self-limiting cage that says I have to go to McDonald’s to work I’ve got to work at Starbucks because they give me these benefits in that benefit I must see you know these violent clients because I need to pay my rent I can’t make my minimum without we always be at his justifications right the previous to meeting Dustin and learning how I could be a time trika I was a late night escort and my hours were midnight to 6 a.m. and I felt like that was my niche market I had to see those clients cuz I was picking up who nobody else would pick up and I was making pretty a pretty decent living doing that and I felt like I wasn’t you know I try to be a high-class escort and it wasn’t working out so I was kind of I created my own Ishq market with the dirges of society and being compassionate and holding space in my own informal way for these guys who I didn’t like the sex part of sex work anymore so the drugs do drug users and drug addicts were just interested in companionship and having a human being in the room with them a lot of the time or or interested in a mutually getting high with people and talking to them and not be judged and I’m good at that so that was my career for you know that was my escort market for a few years that’s kind of what I probably did and then I’m at the time it worked out good but then with that comes violence and just you know this is the dirges of society’s there’s drugs involved there’s violence and balls and I was just tired of that kind of you know population ran into Destin Garrick at a party and then he has graciously gave me coaching for free you know pro bono coaching and so I know that you do that with your practice done and I try to just give that back to people who are willing I want to see what’s possible I know that I charge a lot of money but there are ways in which we can work together usually if if you’re willing to be teachable there’s wait there’s things that I need in life that I can time bank or I can trade or you know I can give you less and you can do your own homework but Dustin gave me about 15 hours of coaching and referrals and how to get started as a tantra teacher and that’s always been sort of a lifesaver I see that as a lifesaver you know and I always talk about that story because I’m cool yeah it’s important so we also share that teacher that’s awesome so this is really yeah this is really deep intense material and going into it it’s it seems like I don’t know if a lot of people know this but I’ve been learning more and more that you’d be surprised how how many quarter quote John Cena really they they do want the actual companionship and some of them in their own Journey just not even care so much about fucking or getting off but having the energetic and sort of psychological social intercourse if someone just paying attention then hearing them out and so was that that was more was it evolving more towards that but there is still dangerous sounds like you’re still you know places to be stuck in training we are healing ourselves and that’s what opens the door for us to be better to start a toast for you for our clients at that time had not received my own training so I was where I was at you know we’re always attracting are mirrors so I wasn’t conscious of my my wounds and so I would tear up with client you weren’t as conscious I was quote unquote holding space and exchanging energy with these but I wasn’t I didn’t have the awareness of what energy exchanged was exactly many people do have Tantra sex we are always energy exchanging with people we have been doing it since we were kids but once someone you know at a meet up or a lecture or a video tells them you’ve been doing this this is where it comes around this is you know how you exchange this energy this is how you meditated everything you know like all these little morsels that we give people who are willing to learn this stuff and they see oh I’ve been meditating my whole life I’ve been having sex before I even knew that word you know just happened sooner so I was doing that before with compassion you know like giving these drugs addicts you know one guy spend all his money instead of going to rehab to see me and I just held him all night and I remember his his his high infusing into me that I could feel the drugs without doing that because I can you know when we’re so close to someone’s body it is energetic exchange and I could feel the drugs coursing through his veins there was other stuff besides the drugs you know like how it must feel to want to go to rehab but then you instead are so afraid that you just spend all your money on a prostitute and just how that’s going to unfold for that person after we wake up in the morning I don’t have attachment to that but he does I didn’t get high but he did I got high on my own energetic sense but he has to pay the consequences for it not me well so you do you want to talk about your work with Swap and just what kind of advocacy and Outreach in activism is going on for sex workers and certainly in this age of changing when they first it was Craigslist and then back page and so now there’s a lot of I guess I’m not totally current with it but but there’s a lot of concern that it’s too well the policies and the enforcement strategies are actually making a problem worse than putting putting the sex workers in Greater danger than not so if you want to come and go into the political commentary by Dobie Gray so I got into full service sex work as a mentee of scarlet Harlot Carolee who’s an artist and a sex worker older she’s probably 70 now but she had done so much activism in sex work that I was attracted to that community in San Francisco her and Robin fuel has passed away from cancer since then you was the first person he was talking about decriminalizing prostitution and the first person who was compassionate and she had such Southern Charm a great smile at Shrewsbury you know warm and congenial and so is Carol Lee is someone that I still call My Chosen mother she was my hore mother and so both of them were like mine or mothers and they mentored me into feeling like prostitution or doing intercourse for money wasn’t a bad thing it was a good thing and there was a hole Community also that would you know that was doing this and we were okay and we were fine we weren’t the trash of the world so many many people were so motivated by what Robin was doing she had been arrested for prostitution and because she was an agent herself which is AKA a pimp right so she was she was being an agent to other sex workers across the borders of the states she was in a bigger case international trafficking case that most of us just get arrested for one-on-one prostitution and that’s a misdemeanor but she was in a federal felony case and was facing many many years in prison so at that time she became super vocal I’m at that time as when she started swap National and many people followed her and within that year her first year she started many many branches of this sex workers Outreach project and that was 2006 and I was so determined to follow her path that I said I am going to start Los Angeles has swap chapter and be the Revolutionary War revolutionary that La has never seen that that was my sense of purpose at that time and I spent seven years as an escort but the whole time that I was doing it I was really vocal and visible sex worker Advocate an artist so I’m making songs about prostitution I’m performing the song I’m singing lemonade conferences in different cities in the world and doing conferences and speaking and all of this stuff I’m I’m doing without direct pay I’m seeing myself as the Robin Hood of sex work activism so I’m taking my my income from my clients and using it to advocate for the rights of the workers 7 years I did that I’m so but at the end of that seven years was when I met Justin the work was starting to chip away at me and even the activism to start take starting to chip away at me because I wasn’t getting paid you do get tired of using your income to do to do social justice work it does get it’s not sustainable and it says burn you out and evidently we need to get paid for the work that we do no matter what the work is so that was the end of the seven years and so I was looking for a new identity and many many years after that I guess it took three or four years before maybe I even trained in Tantra and Chris was not interested in doing activism in the same way that I was doing it before because there’s also kind of interpersonal interaction Unity struggles that happen with people who have experienced a lot of trauma and sex workers have typically on and myself is included in this population experienced a lot of trauma and so organizing with that Community can sometimes be challenging and we sometimes will trigger and traumatize each other because we are like a like a bunch of dysfunctional orphans what kept us safe forever is you know lashing out or doing something that is crazy I mean there’s a lot of no different people on different trajectories of healing in in every community in the world right but then when you come together with like maybe a drug-using community or sex working community the percentage of people who have experienced trauma is much greater and this community to sex your community is not really willing to to say that sentence even because we as an activist Community who are trying to fight for our rights are not trying to make us look bad so the people who want sex work too and he want prostitution to be eliminated they’re called deliciousness they will say oh all sex workers have been abused and raped in traffic and you know come from broken homes so we don’t want to answer and say yes we’ve been abused and raped and we come from broken home we want to defend against this day not know not all we don’t you know we’re all okay we’re not all abused Bubba blah you know so there’s always this back-and-forth of trying to assert that you’re saying even though you’re falling apart inside so but you know there are good examples I’m not going to say I’m not trying to say that even I’m a I’m a I’m a living example of someone who has survived a Continuum of violence but feels like I’m able to have a career to be functional I you know I am a functional member of society you know I’m able to coach other people and able to have morals and boundaries and I learned from my mistakes you know we’re able to if we want to kill ourselves and I accelerated way and we make the best healers because we’ve been through the darkness ourselves and so that’s kind of how I justify my own career path is that I am three to five steps ahead of my clients and I attract the kind of clients who have been through sexual violence who are you know having feelings you know various abusive spiritual abuse is physical abuse is or are interested in exploring sexuality feel genderqueer those are the kind of people that I like because that kind of me 5 years ago you know like I understand that so yeah so that’s why I feel like I’m a good healer for for particularly men like that I’ve always attractive male survivors what do you have to say I mean just take a couple breaths here cuz that’s pretty intense work I just want to I Really applaud you and thank you so much for being that that light and not succumbing to you know like I said you you you could be a lot of other things that would be true could be a lot of other outcomes and you stand out for sure and thank you so much for all that service in in the activist were and I agree that you don’t download activist worked I didn’t get paid for and you know it does burn you out and it does deplete your resources and it’s also opportunity cost because if you’re not if you’re not building a career unfortunately this world with the energy that you have in youth which comes basically for free even if you have a bad day even if you’re a drug addict even if you have no clue about holistic health and wellness and energy you get a lot of free energy in your Youth and then as you start to age it’s gone and you if you didn’t invest and you didn’t save and you didn’t build a career path then it’s if you can get really Bleak so congratulations to you for pulling yourself out of what could have been a lot worse circumstances that wouldn’t know is really a you’re living it up because you’re the spiritual play girl that has sounds like I really did explore that but it just wasn’t for me it wasn’t as satisfying as what I’m doing now I’d gotten training and HIV testing I’d gotten training and needle exchange I’ve gotten I’ve explored maybe I could get an MSW a master of Social Work all these things to legitimate you know my experience as a sex worker but it pays very little and and the hours are intense you know and I don’t mind working hard but it just wasn’t none of none of those things that I explored getting further training in was attractive to me and also a I do want to elaborate a little bit on why I was so kind of you know I had quoted earlier or I tried to push this memory out of my mind because I just wanted to just described to the audience what happened I had spent a huge gap from activism from sex work activism because of what I described as a coup I found it swap LA but I’m the new director then like really pushed me out in a way that made me feel so unwelcome that I quit I quit the organization that I found it and he just did she completely like decided she would take over change the font changed everything and you know and I had no right to do anything is so that was so it was so traumatic to me that I quit and I lost my identity at that time and then that’s when depression really started because I’ve been this or revolutionary activism for activist for so many years and I just wanted it so I near suicidal like level you know cuz when you lose your identity that almost always triggers this this loss of meaning of life that when people I hear it all the time and no webinars and stuff people who have experienced suicidal ideations because they lost their careers their jobs identity right so my identity at that time was prostitution was doing is activism so she took over and I just stopped associating with swap La completely but you know me and you and we decided to come together for this event because there was a new director and they were having a Christmas Christmas party December 17th a day to recognize violence against sex workers and I thought okay can I do a musical performance I’ll be the music act right because that’s kind of what I’m interested in now I sing and I play the balls and it’s like spiritual chanting and I want to see you tell the sex worker community that. Tantra goddesses are sex workers in a in a sense but we’re just different kinds of sex workers were spiritual sex workers and we are still part of the community because in America doing Tantra any Hands-On work is illegal it’s seen as prostitution in so we could get arrested for that so that’s why there should be a connection we should be allowed IBS be recognized as the community it goes both ways so horse should recognize that good for a secret person to recognize street prostitutes it’s like both of us so I was a starting my presents playing music at this December 17th event so I’m playing the trumpet player and a woman comes from the audience and like the man that I stopped and that my performance is so expensive because I’m appropriating Indian culture and I need to stop right now like she and it’s such a shocker to me cuz I just was not psychically mentally prepared that anyone would basically she’s heckling me right so she’s taking me to the point that I stopped and I never experienced that you know like since I’ve become a goddess we become so much softer read as a sex worker as an escort you are the opposite of that your heart and then you’re not trusting of the worlds you’re ready to be you’re ready to defend if someone jumps on your not in that mood anymore I don’t live in that vibration so I was just like it’s frozen though and I couldn’t do anything I couldn’t move I just sat down I thought I did what she said I stop playing like that and it was be worst sort of like I always so traumatized by that you know like I am trying again to you know to give to this community and yet they’re completely rejecting my guess and you know that’s the story from earlier where I had tried to give to the community and they rejected my guess is so that’s why it was so heartbreaking and God I spent about 48 hours trying to heal from that that was really hard but yeah so the community sometimes will have those kinds of mental psychological verbally abusive kind of outbreaks and I’m just not interested in putting myself in a place where that could happen anymore so it has led me to seek community and other places of people who are interested and willing to work on themselves constantly none of us are perfect but what we have in common is that we’re always try to seek to be better we’re always trying to work on self so that we can be better for appliance we’re interested in that piece at least as I find like with a lot of other activists communities they are still interested in being right and winning fights and asserting their power through two talking points and two arguing and I’m just not interested in that in any way at all you can win that Facebook argument great is the most the kindest most raw I will be kind and wrong any day I’d rather not I’d rather be kind and wrong then unkind and right you know well this is a this is really a guy’s you you concluded that Inlet story with this this phone Redemption because I was I was pretty shocked too but I also I guess at that moment I felt like the best thing that could be done is just to not feed energy to to that lower vibration that was trying to Sir to pick a fight and I think you did a great job you really I don’t think you lost face even the way that you handled it because it was so I mean because you didn’t feed into it it stood out as being so inappropriate out of line absurd and ridiculous and laughable to me but I didn’t even I didn’t even want to give it back after I just wanted to let it dissipate into itself and disappear into the night which eventually it did and it did it did you know really open my heart to extra compassion understanding for you have to be you know if they have to deal with that in the and just knowing yeah there’s a lot of meu you earn you definitely earned your to be to graduate beyond that into just few extra myself I want to just be surrounded by people who really not walk on eggshells but really you’re conscious about being gentle and really not complaining about too much and not being really that like just not being hostile for no reason and in refining the refining everything so that you’re not you know just creating a toxic environment as much as possible you know I mean we have Heather certainly toxins in the environment that we have very little control over how much of it gets pumped into our minds and our bodies in our you know our lives and in every Dimension but anywhere that we can design a little bit of non-toxic gentleness and space to sort of DNA that’s precious so I I I feel you totally on that and I mean we don’t not fight with each other we don’t not raise our voices but it’s it’s sort of I don’t want to have that be the way that we are you know like my people I sit down to break bread with we’re not yelling and shouting about whatever opposition whatever oppressor anymore I did that for so many years and I just don’t better than fuel me anymore where it used to you know right now there’s plenty to be angry about I’m not ignorant about what’s going on in the in the US because I live in Japan I’m still paying attention I’m still American but at the same time I know that it’s not I want to I want to I want to acknowledge that there’s so many other countries out there and I’m able to get sick a broader Global Perspective now that I’ve moved to a different country and I’m not on the ground in the US and you can be angry about Trump and be angry about this and that and his supporters are are angry Bunch as well you know so we can go into it with that as the way that we saw something and I just it doesn’t matter what your causes it’s it’s what it’s what your your intention is and the way that you see a solution and how you’re going to go about that and some people are like oh yeah that’s too woo woo or hippie you just sit there and sing and chant about it I’d rather get my gun out and shoot you know everybody has a different way the same problem but it is the same problem we’re all looking for clear loving connection and understanding guess we are well well I don’t know how we can come to a better close we’re almost an hour but I just want to say if you have any final thoughts and if you know feel free and definitely plug your websites in waste connection hopefully you’re still you know recording music and putting it out there so people can check that out and Yeah more of you how do we get more of you my website is goddess kayak Wann Yen. Com goddess k a y a k w a n y i n. Com God is Kaya Kwan Yin. Calm and then that’s the website that I’ve been building for 4 years it has YouTube videos on there and it explains my session courses and what I do and it has the intake form which is the questionnaire for potential clients to see if we’re a match for the work that you would like to do with me I am putting an open invitation out to women clients a couple of because that’s not the kinds of clients that I usually get I’ve worked and specialize in male sexuality for about 17 years so when I do get female clients when I do get couples it’s exciting and great to me if you speak Japanese that’s a big discount yeah so that’s my and I’m going to be transitioning using my my boy name which is medical as my goddess name because now I live in Japan I don’t want I want them or Japanese name and I have one opening a business and it’s even get such as a form of communication for Japanese people turn on touch decided they don’t they don’t even hug when they say goodbye to each other it’s not common Society not a communication Society so communication is nonverbal communication is very different but this you know so what I’m hearing is kind of communication this kind of very training sort of verbal ideations of you no problems and stuff so when you do this it makes me feel like this there’s nothing bad in Japanese culture is a New Concept for many many adults Japanese adult kids problem kids they can go to counseling but people in Japan are still at the point where it’s kind of shameful oh my God you’re seeing a therapist psychologist that strange this is really interesting and exciting I feel like there’s going to be some crazy animated is going to come out about Mariko the the touch the touch doctor the touch since she was ending it’s unbelievable what the transformative potential is to take this to somewhere where could have such a profound in it in an immediate and such a high contrast impact so I hope you get really good rest and I hope you get to you know all the success in the world and you know eventually you’ll have the means I’m I’m I’m sure that I can see in my crystal ball that you will you’ll eventually have the means to to really come back to the ruins everything is sex work activism and be able to create much more financially empowered resource opportunities for folks you know I can see it so I think you’re going to have a beautiful life are canned and I feel blessed and thank you so much again for your support it with me and my very very first you know breaking open that little hatchling shell to to start to talk about mice Maria my offerings in in the country world so that was a great yeah Lil chapter it we were having so hopefully we’ll get a chance to it also continue to collaborate in the future weather remotely or in person but yes definitely wishing you the best and looking forward to more Adventures right when we do and you know it always marks our growth when we come together at these times right every few months every 6 months so it’s nice to do that and I’m happy to do that with you anytime regardless of geographical boundaries great will thank you so much I will definitely talk to you soon we’ll be in touch to take care bye bye thank you for listening to the touch of Time Podcast please go to www.drudgereport.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition of sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple at provide ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episode if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com

Sexual Healing for Sexual Healers with Reverend Goddess Charmaine TPP118

Play

In this episode I have the pleasure and honor of exploring the deep and profound insights and experience of Reverend Goddess Charmaine of http://thesensuousmystic.com/. I was turned on to her work several years ago by a dear friend and while catching up on her online radio show archives I discovered that she boldly and bravely confronts the shadow of sexuality. It was a breath of fresh air to hear her empowered voice of sexual trauma survival and healing. I’m very grateful that she blessed my podcast by telling her personal story and sharing strength and solidarity with me as wounded healers who are ceaselessly healing.

Here are links mentioned in the show:

Spirits Entities and Demons ~ The Evil Side of SEX!
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/the-sensuous-mystic/2015/02/05/spirits-entities-and-demons-the-evil-side-of-sex

Parasites: Sexual & Spiritual
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/the-sensuous-mystic/2016/06/30/parasites-sexual-spiritual

The Butterfly Goddess (Laurie Handlers) shares erotic enlightenment and more!
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/the-sensuous-mystic/2014/12/18/the-butterfly-goddess-laurie-handlers-shares-erotic-enlightenment-and-more

Please visit her website at: http://thesensuousmystic.com/

About Reverend Goddess Charmaine:

Reverend Goddess Charmaine was ordained by the New Seminary, a school of interfaith theology in New York City. She is a trained Reiki Master, Crystal Reiki Master, certified hypnotherapist, trained aromatherapist, and tantric energy specialist. She primarily focuses her energy work through Shamanism, trained by Kenneth Ray Stubbs through the Path of the Sexual Shaman all levels.

She has led workshops in the tri-state area since 1992, and is continually increasing her work as a facilitator of personal empowerment through her workshops such as chakra intensives, Goddess Initiations, Second Sunday and Clothing Optional (Naked Church) Services, energetic Merge Ceremonies, and Tarot Readings online, Spirit and Erotic Spirit Circles and various others that continue to support empowerment and erotic enlightenment for all. Online and In Person.

Rev. Goddess has written two books, The Sensuous Mystic ~ Uniting Sex and Spirit and The Goddess Scrolls ~ Sacred Erotic Tales that inspire and enlighten along with her ongoing radio blogtalk show The Sensuous Mystic airing live most Wednesday nights at 8pm EST.

In July, 2000, in a primitive and intense ritual, she was initiated into Goddess-hood. From this ceremony, she realized that she’d been called to bring forth the unification of Sex and Spirit.

Her unique methods center on our natural ability to evolve by healing ourselves and others. With her guidance and assistance, one is lead through a series of letting-go processes. These experiences enable one to work through and leave behind a lifetime of fears and paralyzing self-doubt, to attain the position of strength and power that is rightfully their own within their Holy Bodies.

Goddess Blessings

AI Generated Transcription:
(Want to help with corrections? Please contact me to learn about rewards for your efforts!)

Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin I love your beloved’s welcome to Township on podcast episode number 118 I’m with Reverend goddess Charmaine the sensuous Mystic and I have been a fan of her radio show podcast offerings which are really outstanding in the the whole movement and field and Industry of sacred sexuality and spirituality and all this without their I really feel the most outstanding gift is is the way that you have really brought the the experience of a passionate oration you know the the passion of a minister or preacher freeze Priestess that that power of transmission and and really using very erotic language and very very empowered erotic language very graphic heretic language in the spirit and with the passion and intensity and tonality of the Sacred oration tradition so it’s it’s such a treat and such a blessing and a gift and and so invigorating and in nice just to let people catches you know we’re still we’re still kind of embarrassed and shy to talk about genitalia and so you really taking it to a high level of Mastery and I super appreciate that and that’s just the tip of the iceberg because there’s so much depth and wisdom that you have to share from shamanic trainings and traditions and yeah I can’t even begin to to really give you a proper introduction so with that said fleas Reverend goddess Charmaine would you like to tell us about your personal life path and what you’re offering and and what it is that you do hahaha thank you everyone here and you know why you doing this work and I like you know ordained since 96 and initiated in 2000 and was you know walking this path long before then and all kinds of demonic and healthy ways it so my mom said Mimi silly people love you in and I don’t even know what does a blessing to get that kind of respecting your mother if you know about my work I said to her I said mom was so fat that back in the day of course I’d become the hill of course going on in my life and sexually as a young person I thought God didn’t love me that people didn’t like me why and as you step into that kind of place somewhere in there you know that voice or will inside that is always coming inside of me I am goddess of this land I am telling you it really really was speaking when I was very young I mean 16 years old I was telling me you know goddess goddess goddess this is what’s going to happen on my spiritual energy was always open to trying to just survive and drive through life but that’s the way I can because I was desperately in need of healing growth and I knew that I didn’t deserve the bad things like that wasn’t my past because it made everything worse and when I started to learn how to pray for myself and to bring goddess alive inside of me everything I always gets better keep it up until this moment is sharing myself with you so you know it was very important for me to heal and grow and I told my mom that I had to be combined to know that I matter and see the blessings that we can have get back into the world is to be there for The Temper sent and whoever it is my name is my message and the impact in the way that I share it got His blessings because that’s what I’m here for and also have to be every day to be able to stay or sometimes I don’t want to be there for myself when I need to when I teach her the one about self-love but if I know I’m going to be here with you then I’m going to be there with others it makes me responsible for myself and then sometimes I’m doing myself love practice for myself most of the time that’s really at you know that when I was doing it so do I love I love your language I think it’s my favorite of all articulations of species I mean it’s like I said these people just tiptoeing around certain words and and you could so liberating cuz you push you push the envelope forward in such a way that you know it’s it’s I’m almost I’m almost I feel like I’m a lightweight her I’m a teetotaler something but I got to step up you know I got to step up and speak with more on this test oh yeah your inspiration for sure and so do you want to talk a bit about some maybe some of the the highlights of your your career path and the there’s a sort of Meandering senior you know the different trainings you’ve done in the different kind of scientist Milestones on the journey cuz that that was a beautiful kind of priming I’m so grateful for and it may be some way to bring everyone into really connecting with me and connected to call life is I have a way of interpreting scripture and I called it to be to be a universal lover and I’ve always been drawn to a spiritual path and I’ve been invited to different types of ceremonies Oh sushi around in my own body and then like this like baby this pussy Power of Words language prayers that I used to hear my prayers merge with other people were at ceremony and to know that those prayers at the way the king as if they were channel 3 me is something something from being a smoking person’s ceremony of some of the face or just being out in nature of just sitting in front of my own altar so many so many people live in by the prayers that I stay over and over again and this is this is happened ever since I was initiated 2005 been able to write these prayers and I mean my books are written about Star Wars full moon sex Magik ceremonies I’ve done and I have prayers if it’s okay can I guy. Everyone likes on YouTube the creative spark of life Monopoly Bonnie I always say that to really go into the high fibration is like a pussy March without heart or that hard words with your heart in that space. and be one with all life and so I’m going to say this holy body prayer the tension that I wrote in 2000 and this one of the prayers that’s always said and my services Second Sunday services and clothing optional services I am beautiful and healthy my body has a glow that shines in my face is Angeles I smile on my face even more in my eyes sparkle to whatever and whomever I choose to see miss my Sofia playlist so they keep me able to go out to eat thank you give me chills and I have several prayers that I’ve written in my stories that have written that it really supported me and believe help develop me to teach me about my life as a wife as a mother’s friend and then and all of that since I work you know the way that I share my cell phone that’s really like my tithing you know and you know we are to also given without any shops in Beatrice with people and to write my books and people pay for it and that’s amazing thing to really be in your passion into Live Your Life Style the way you want me to the Nexus of a part of speech of because when you get healing from it is really so we’re expecting always beautiful TV show my real self so I think most benefit beautiful I love that destiny enjoying the ability to distribute energy and transmission across these networks I think it’s definitely a by design that there’s a assembling Spirit behind this wave of connecting to the to the web so if I can zoom into some earlier chapters new weirdest sex surrogate right in a very prominent role in the history of that that field is that correct can you tell ya that’s very interesting can you can you go into that that’s a fair bit and mixed can help us understand what that was like Jersey you know what’s the news New York City and I was explaining why don’t you just come in for an interview and you don’t have any what do you say that I don’t know what am I going to have a reception I need a receptionist job has already been studying in my feeling so I wasn’t thinking about this job as a contra opportunity looking for a job out of New Jersey but she hired me as a receptionist so you don’t start working within the first week I told my boyfriend because she’s but still you know okay did someone walk to the office that needs help to therapy and Pharmacy and then she comes out and she says she threw me into this room she told me how to conduct a 30-minute session completely changed everything from this first session I was off the desk within a month and had a full schedule every day and it was amazing because the two women that was so they gave me their charts is a read-through or try to catch up with you know when to do this when the husband and I have to go to the gym Sex Therapy and doing surrogacy work other than touching his whole body relationship relationship and after that I couldn’t go back I had to continue learning more and more about being a legacy to action Community counselor for the people because I start you really lost so much that I was more valuable outside of the surrogacy room and counseling with the client right there as we became alternative we started studying Tantra as a mode other than therapy and then the outside so really being asserted in a crime away a straight for a way to bring it to Alternative therapy and healing in this way really was the best thing that could happen for a woman that is stuck in speaker. Because I maybe that’s why I’m so so relaxed thinking about pussy you’ll need to know so I can just go to get real about what’s going on in our bodies and what’s going on in Las Cruces to the frequency that we’re dealing with because sometimes we let that chili that its first interstate transfer back to the old program you know that’s when you really have long-term into the way that we were also way I grew as being a surrogate to becoming a counselor to become a Healer that was all so amazing to me cuz it showed me my ongoing curls because of the ability I have to interpret scripture is I figure out my Universal way to apply it into the relationship is going on with you with the center for six and a half years and then it transported to my Ministry that is so cool yeah that is a very very experienced and you also had some some run-ins with the law by one point right 2007 ion you know I didn’t realize that this is something on and I didn’t think when I move into this neighborhood that was predominantly white and I was renting this house on the Block single woman in this house and in the neighbors started paying attention to me how can she afford to live here and it turned out that I was being really stopped by the next door neighbor and he was watching people come in and out of my house please and they follow the Personnel at my house and then and the prostitution and the City please please the goddess God is probably arrested I want to make it out to be but God is it is here now so yeah and I did my best there you know having as my son was seventeen at the time I thought it was about so I had to work with that system and I live in the house and continue growing and evolving so I could stay safe and just became you know if that hadn’t happened how to how to keep yourself safe and how does how to give your message and teach in a way that everyone should feel good about what’s going on here and now I have all kinds of feelings be supported and how we are treated by write thank you for sharing that yet it’s it’s it’s interesting there was some legislation I believe recently in New Hampshire that didn’t make it through but it was it was to legalize sex worker various how do you feel about the current state of the struggles to dignify and to provide services for an end create legal space for safer more protected sex work on all levels if you have sense since that time you know do you have to wear your where you at with the whole issue you know I think about it in various ways because I owe you know what you talk about drugs do you know you had decide comes this week and we know the government involved in all this criminal activity how do you want to try to control as many as they can keep you illegal they can keep their money working as far as you know attacking you or text you or their hands are directly involved in about as far as environment I just what I believe in I have known because I was a counselor for women that became because of different reasons to heal and not be to have a safe environment with people can choose how they are strict rules about getting the stuff checked by the GYN STDs and what is it that you feel you are good at I don’t believe that your value you don’t feel like you matter because there are all kinds of people taking advantage of people we have to bring our soul into a body in mind so that we can heal I just think there’s all kinds of hands involved and Kohls friends and Beauty support my Ministry so I can continue to use the sexual abuse Spirit religion religion and spirituality is makes the most money how much money is coming at at all and then we can support around that and I’m going to try to slow down now I know I totally agree with you that was a beautiful Highway because on the The Shadow side yet that is really looking at taking a clear and sober look at the you know the underground economy that really runs the world on and really it’s the statistics wants that I don’t know if I get the exact order properly but it’s basically guns drugs and sex are the biggest industries and they’re all interlock because the pants you need The Pimps need to drug the prostitutes and have guns to fight each other and shoot back at the cops when they get rated so ultimately what it comes down to is the commodity is the vagina and more than anything and her friend yeah I got a fellow goddess you might nor actually but that she she is a very powerful woman and she said you know she pointed this out to me she so you can go down anywhere in and you have the the constitutional right to buy a firearm if you can kill someone with but you cannot buy my pussy that’s how powerful my pussy is that’s how dangerous my pussy is you can kill someone with a gun but you cannot buy this cuz it’s that much more powerful and that’s a profound statement and now you know what you’re saying about yeah these the industry of going and buying your tickets to Heaven that whole industry in the industry of buying your ticket to sexual access and who’s profiting it’s it’s that that pyramid you know skeme at the top so you know breaking that free and liberating all that I feel like you were testimony of Deliverance let’s say from surviving childhood sexual trauma I feel like I’m kind of gas The Narrative of folks who have fans who have lived through those experiences and found that sacred sexuality and in Tantra and various modalities of healing and Shamanism really is the I think it’s the most potent way to open people’s eyes and sort of wake people out and hopefully with enough of a critical massive that awareness so you know we eventually I pray you know that we will we see Manatee will drop everything and come to the rescue of the children who who are being abused and you have been abused and Andrea Lee Gifford all of our energy and efforts towards understanding fully and then re-engineering redesigning all of our culture has to be attended to I Really empowering you know single mothers or independent mothers to work together to have the support that they need financially and you know ecologically to to just do nothing but with her instincts the wet all women I believe love to do and are stinks you decided to be on on on life guard Duty for their child sexual development I mean is that is that too much to ask it seems like it’s really our Birthright but then you have all of these all of these commercial and ego-based narcissistic distractions that keep people on a hamster wheel of success and all that stuff so I know I’m just reaching the converted on the soapbox but I just wanted to kind of have that kind of set the set the table event for you two to talk about a couple of things that start you know stood out for me as I’ve started your work and one is that you were personal story of having hands on sacred spot healing massage work like pelvic release work done and what that was like for you and then also your I feel very much alive and with your way of describing that there’s more than meets more than meets the eye and these acts of human conduct of abuse is actually other actors who are non-human who are involved in this this sort of deformation of of human sexual character development and and the sort of plague like infestation or infection that there’s a lot that we need to understand from astral perspective and if you would please if you’re willing you know to go into some of that you again really help people understand what we’re up against cuz it’s not just it’s it’s not what we think it is that’s a lot more complicated so you know I’m a succubus being molested being raped and why is this happening this to me I’m a little girl you know I was that we’re all related to family DNA genetic programming a lot of people been molested what I learned over the years about being attacked in my sleep by Spirits was because of the the Target that was on me from the fact that I had people in my family that were doing and what I suffered in my sleep I will be attacked and my sleep I was being choked and if any was in bed with me they would wake up to me I didn’t even have to try to help me through this and then all the times I would be screaming and held down my son was in another room and when she get up he and I could see him coming out of my body above and floating over with my bed and see myself fighting with the spirit I can’t make out who it is the different colors like a black or gray kind of smoky crushing on me pressing down trying to choke me and I will see my son waking up in the other room slowly kind of sneakily walk into the room first time he was really questions and coming to me but all you had to do was touch me or kiss me understand what was happening to me was because of the healing that I was going through my wedding ceremony and I are meeting about 6 check coming over like I said I had to do this because of the it would be sex because was it because he think that happened to me and as I was knowing that was a true but still walking my past it was still going on inside of me so people will be coming to me for counseling so I’m having night tremors what the hell is going on. What the fuck is happening oh my goodness so finally I went therapy to get this help Translate but it was kind of like telling my text about this is that you know and he said well we need to you know go inside the video me and I need some massage directions and it began you know and I had this massage that was go into my home and it just I’m heading out of my pussy every time I want yogurt I was so hard for me to have orgasm because I was so angry in order for me to have an orgasm squeeze my nipples so hard that it was lead girl I start to recognize the anger that was in my heart because I still knew that I was supposed to be killing it and I’m still having night tremors so when I started to receive these not massages is far too late to empty out the heaviest that was in my pussy that was in my middle you know and it was just one of my development my teacher he was teaching us about each part of the shop was and it spoke about the root chakra and then be able to just looking at that photograph my wife and keep on looking up to do with it has everything to do with it prepare me to be able to become an initiate was very very true, had something to happen to be right when I was 9 years old and it came out, had never done any work around I do with my husband and we’re engaged and things are going on in all this happiness and joy and then someone exposes this person that hurt me and I’m just shocked that this person was around me again and I had a big phone it was an amazing show on my cameras healing of being massage Leone and in the end it in the ass if I had to be able to hold space to read to see me going through this message and massage and spirits that come into us because they attack us physically first people around are at 7-Eleven because some people that have sexual abuse and their genetic programming and that’s why it happens to a lot of people ways we can start to break this by cleansing ourselves because we were extended to our spiritual Warrior cut it off right where it where is try to go to sleep. Is not happening anymore but this is really why would be so that would not be we can be targeted in the spirit realm and physical round and this Dimension movie with Erin Stokes that was deeply moved when I heard the episodes that you mention that there was one specifically that stood out do you remember the title so that I can be sure to put the Lincoln and direct people there because it’s really feel the most complimentary pistou to a lot of my work so far that I found I could tell you in the title you look at episodes is the one that Lori hammers them in the show we did not know we were going to go yeah sexual demons or something grab my laptop you want me to try to go get to five seconds okay so I’m going to look it up my episodes right now while I’m with you so this is the most important what I want to leave this life having accomplished one of the few things is to consolidate these This research and and really ultimately have there be a very clear understanding within Humanity that sexual abusers are being puppeteered by spirits that are non-human and those spirits that are not human that are puppeteering mostly men because they’re more easy to fracture and kurupt on and the other astral body they see the male astral body I say myself hostages is that the penis becoming an instrument of harm demonic weaponized male human penis is is a a more effective tool for the Demonic puppeteers to create the traumatic event is it the it’s it’s actually Landed It lends itself sadly very unfortunately to being an instrument of puncturing Astral bodies so that the larvae of the Demonic entities can be injected just like parasitic wasps and parasitic wasps have a natural life cycle in number of parasites in the wild have been studied to where they they feed their young by injecting their larvae into the bodies of other species who are helpless to pull them out of themselves and their hence the need for Hands-On Sexual Healing because that is the extraction work the surgical work on the Astro Boy body where wherever people are being raped there if there are still ways that are jacking into the nervous system and they’re not time doesn’t heal that time actually makes it worse because it just continues to Fester it’s like having an infested gangrenous wound and putting a Band-Aid over it called going to church or called going to a talk therapist but when you do the Deep you know revealing of that infested wound and you kind of take that that superficial bandage off of you know our personality personality really just like a Band-Aid on our childhood trauma even if it’s not sexual it could be anything so whatever personality you put if you don’t do that spiritual deep cleansing will work and extraction work and you’re still being possessed by and run by those entities in for a lot of women that results in cutting themselves you know drug and alcohol addiction sex and love addiction all those pathologies good for men there’s a amorsa tistical a higher statistical danger that they become fully possessed to complete the life cycle and then become rapist and abuses and sell so it’s about stopping an intervening in this with a medical terminology and a medical discourse around it so with that with all that said if you found that if you you view validated that yeah so pleased with that said please continue and Demon the evil side effects with parasites sex and spirit on June 29th 2016 those two probably relate with parasite that’s exactly what you’re talking about and so those two shows that they are the butterfly goddess Laurie handlers Sheriff help me finish what I needed to do so yeah so that’s there to for 2015 Spirit entities and demons parasites Texas. Is June 2016 well okay awesome I’ve been waiting for this moment I’m actually I’m actually at this moment in the same place where I was first yeah I do I do let you know gardening landscaping and I’m having the flashbacks of being on a ladder you know he’s getting when you got into this and I was like this is the other I mean this is the most validating discourse so far that I found on what I’m saying and it’s so it says it’s interesting because as a as a spell most My Life as a skeptic core Lexia scientific rationalism materialist atheist whatever and the and when I when I had to start getting into my own Sexual Healing Journey you know the more discovering more hidden, very true, and what not and it became it was revealed to me that demon possessed rapist did you know did the acts of harm Jimmy and the demons possess the rapist have have to be hunted out of every person that they have been made that hosted humans are made host of these that diffuse so it then becomes a mission to free yourself and to purge and to extract and and that’s when I said I said what kind of our how well there are people on Earth who talk about these things than actually they’re called Christian Center called Hindus in there, it’s and it’s it’s it it was to come full circle and say wow there’s actually value in some of the the more I sent a candy per teachings of these wisdom traditions of mysticism but somehow they’ve lost the power to actually perform the fundamental task of exorcism yet they have the time they have copyright practically they are the the the Monopoly of Exorcist and yet they have either lost the ability to perform that this technique accurately or they have conspired to water it down so much that they’re actually able to propagate it and that’s the whole thing with the pedophile priests is it they’re actually I mean what could be more of a betrayal than to not only you know why this and cover it up and to have a cold a giant conspiracy going all the way to the Vatican you know about facilitating these acts of of rape and violence and violation molestation of children but they’re actually simultaneously representing that they are the highest most qualified Exorcist So it’s like you said I made this joke is like if the if you had the pest exterminator to come and kill all the Cockroaches or termites in your house and instead they actually pumps your walls full of cockroach eggs or termite exits that’s the that’s this tragic irony so we’re how do we fight back I’ve got my ideas but I want to know you know what do we do to end this plague and give people their strength and power and courage and understanding to really fight back to the spiritual World demonic energy merger in DC and vibration to bring out the strength of the way that we pray and we pray to the pussy you have to get for the for the I always say on my husband he wakes up I put my clock now I go to wherever he is and I kiss someone is listening he knows why I’m doing it we have to get to raise the vibration of sex in a wholly body Consciousness in a way that we know that no one can tell us our Sexual Energy in the Life Force energy the new program to dissolve it once and for good that’s my boy yes and holy group sex and holy homosexual sex if that’s the you know I might and my Explorations and ceremonial work with this city is it really the most some of the most poignant moments was just realizing that we just we just busted a massive nest of old gnarly demons that have been corrupting DNA for generations and you know that that did The Shield patient or client you know or or you know initiate really is is going through consciously the experiences multiple Generations in lifetime’s all the center woven sort of knotted mess of victimhood over over intergenerational trauma and and the you know it was so when we were doing you don’t let me know when these ceremonies occur where you have multiple polarities of Shiva Shakti energy if you will you have you know every type of gender every type of orientation and everyone is bringing their A-game of of purified heart loving energy and and it’s such it’s such a curse you know that the that the church denies us the freedom and the permission to configure ourselves and train ourselves to become ultimate Exorcist using group Sexual Energy that involves all gender so if there’s a specific if the if the program is that you can only have sex with one human being in your entire life they have to be the opposite sex and you cannot Explorer experiment with anyone including yourself ever before being with them and not only has to be in the dark it has to be for the man’s pleasure and all these other things like what all of those programs actually result in the is that they create a gif magenic environment that if you do only that you will be guaranteed to be riddled with Steve and then you will be guaranteed to be frustrated and you won’t be able to explore your natural desire to be a homo erotic and to experience it so it’s it’s it’s when you pull that Veil off you see everything is designed to make children and easy easy prey by the Demonic realm so yeah I could go ahead book The Goddess scroll sacred body tail no but it sounds lovely I just wrote them all out I have experience and then weather is by myself or with another or I witnessed it is it for the full moon I would write it out and just really really blow it up with the sexual fantasy you know it’s just amazing that was my offering to the goddess and to all of us and then I just realized that should be in book form so I did it all types of group one of my biggest biggest fantasy that hopes and prayers to be able to have a we can be able to have that note that the union between everyone anyway my book is like starting actual stories true stories of multiple individuals just like what you talking about yeah yeah we have to release ourselves really kind of programme and monogamy there’s a new monogamy now you know I mean cuz we talked about that it’s always been about control yes yes onward and upward this is so beautiful and so grateful that we get to have this talk I know it’s just the beginning yeah so we’re getting close to about a good time to wrap up if you want to share any other website links and and upcoming programs offerings anything to help direct people your way and get some more love and attention on all of your kids to work yeah if you go to the the sensuous Mystic sensuous Mystics my website and then you can explore my website check out my calendar and see events do I have coming up I do I have holy body bacon Church Also if anyone wants to contact me contact me at gmail.com tell me that you heard me on Contra park right yeah tell me that you say can I please have your whole body download I was just you everybody with my holey body self-love meditation is a chakra balancing meditation chakras with your Sexual Energy cuz you know and I am goddess at gmail.com yes please. no but I wish I had asked me about sexual sexual questions I guess it wasn’t on the are you say good things about me though yeah we had a pretty positive message I haven’t done that but that’s a good idea I wish I had the time to do more of that I would probably have a lot of fun with that concept Greek goddess please receive us and continue to bless us with our Define Birthright of clarity and understanding in the courage to make the changes needed for the highest good of a angel awesome thank you so much will rev goddess Charmaine this has been a long time coming and I appreciate that we had the time to do this and we’ll do it again sometime all right you take care and keep your listening to the touch of Time Podcast please go to www.drudgereport.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition assassini and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favor if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com Thomas Day

Relationship Contracts and Tantric Games with John Hill TPP117

Play


In this episode I’m joined by John Hill, a highly accomplished modern tantric innovator. First, he shares the highlights of his extensive personal life history of exploration and training within various schools of tantric thought and practice. We later discuss his novel approach to teaching tantra through games that through the process of playing, participants can develop tantra based skills and teachings within a more playful frame. We also compare notes on the practice of designing relationship contracts that greatly enhance the functionality of romantic relationships of all kinds.

Please connect with John at:
https://www.facebook.com/john.i.hill.5

johnihill [at] gmail [dot] com

About John:

My life has been a series of adventures, both physical and emotional. Over the last 30 years, after I discovered the path of Tantra, the adventures have intensified and have been more about awakening – awakening desire and exploring the potential of who I am and what I can create. Much of my awakening has been through a wide variety of classes, workshops and programs focused on our relationship with our mind, body, breath, emotions, and spirit. My exploration has taken me through some of my biggest challenges, which coincidentally, happen to be areas that many find challenging – money, sex and power. I’ve been able to create what some might call miracles in each area.

However, you might never have heard of me. I might be the best kept secret in the world of Tantra. Part of this is due to a sense of humility that comes from my introverted nature, as well as my Japanese roots where it’s not about standing out. Part of it is due to the fear of my power and becoming a public figure. However, it’s time to come out of the shadows and shine my light. I have too much to offer to play small. I invite you to join me and embark on your own Tantric Adventure.

AI Generated Transcription:
(Want to help with corrections? Please contact me to learn about rewards for your efforts!)

Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello Jennifer Lopez welcome to Township on podcast episode number 117 I am with John Hill and he is an intimacy coach and tantric touch your guide yes and we we met a couple times and very excited for what he’s been developing really innovative ways to transmit the ancient teachings of Tantra for people in the modern world and here we talk to pretty extensively at the expence show the adult entertainment more of the startup business ideas of things that was a conference and we were just talking a lot about how we’d like to continue to just find new avenues for the love and Spiritual Development of hamster to find just more open more hearts in and relieve my open heart mind so on that note to tell us about your personal life and now you ask him to be beautiful person in provided if you are there’s a go I actually my first Workshop was with a probably many of your listeners know Charles Muir and he has his particular brand of Tantra but it was my first taste of Tantra and it changed my life is that I got so Jazz by what I learned in my experience that class that I turned around and talk to him and said look I want to produce you in LA and and so I brought him to LA and started producing his Workshop serenade then I started producing Workshop some other time for teachers started studying with other Tantra teachers Bode of inertia sunyata Saraswati and some other or so since that time I felt like I was I was my girlfriend and I together we were doing this that we kind of started Tantra in LA and now there’s tons of Tantra teachers here so it’s very cool it feel satisfying to be able to have kind of brought that into the Consciousness here thank you very much I’m glad to know that I thank you so since then I I actually have gone through a lot of stages with Tantra it’s interesting because when I first discovered Tantra for me it was just about sex and getting going to become a better lover and all of that and as I went deeper into it I realized how much more was in of the spirituality aspects of the energy were the healing aspects I ended up getting certified in the in the tradition of absolute on Trump and then I get a started teaching in that vein but then I hooked up with this guy who tried something really unique and that is kind of where I kind of changed my path so to speak so my signature practice now is what I called Lochte Hahn slh i h a n i don’t know if you’ve ever heard of that talks about it quite a bit on her podcast great-great so but I’m not too familiar with it so please that I breathe well it it’s a practice in which you do is you surrender into your body’s desire so as I am I experienced the body has its own kind of desire and we usually run our body from our mind but if you let go of the mine and really sink into the body and surrender into the body what will happen is that the body begins to do things on its own like for example when I Surrender fully into my body and my body takes over you know I totally relax totally let go and then my body starts moving and doing things and it’s always a surprise at what my body does sometimes my jaws will start the chattering and what I get there is that I’m moving fear fear of authentic authentic Lee expressing myself of speaking my truth cuz when I was a child I wasn’t really allowed to express myself my father would hit me when I was just a baby whenever I cried and so I learned very early on not to cry not to express anything not to express what I was feeling and so I cleared a shitload of fear in my jaw and as a result I become more and more authentic. Express and I feel like now I am not afraid of what people will think I’m not afraid of how people might judge me I’m Not Afraid potentially being condemned for what I say so it’s giving me a huge freedom in terms of how I express myself and one of my intentions over the last year or so has been to become a charismatic speaker writer and being able to move people influence people in a way that basically improves the planet next the world a better place awesome can you speak a bit about the absolute on strip system I I read the jewel in the Lotus and found it to be very instructive and enlightening and powering and I’ve been too I think maybe one or two of their official workshops and was very impressed and seems like one of the more I guess we’ll curated modern opportunities to study Tantra so do you have do you want to talk about that kind of introduce people to it it is a tradition handed down from Papa G from several thousand years ago and so it has a lineage which is unusual in the world of Tantra and it was actually Sundiata sarswati traveled all over the world and picked up all kinds of stuff from all kinds of places but in his travels to India that’s where he discovered it and then he was in a relationship with Bode other nausea who was more of a writer and a producer and so they clap created this course and probably the big thing that was handed down through that lineage was Cobra and so I’m sure you’re familiar with the least a level 1 cover breath and maybe the level two but there are several levels of the cup of breath and then I have a another person who I’m at and who I ended up learning a lot even from him he actually created a community in Austria but he is in India right now and he is an Explorer and a scientist name is Greg immke he and I have collaborated collaborated back we have a website together called authentic sharing. Com where he is now in India as I said and working on agelessness is actually getting younger by if you can believe that but I believe it I’ve seen people and they practice loading on and there’s only a few of us that teach this and by the way the trim Lighting on cadieux on me spiritual exercise and it’s the the term lot even is Indonesian and it was a term used by what’s the term used by so good which is more of a spiritual organization not trying to trick it’s actually kind of organization and they practice in a very different way than Greg and I practice said they they do it in large groups which is great but they have the men and women separate and they don’t touch each other and for them it’s about communicating with God which I believe you can’t because in my experience practicing a lot Egon I found that you can begin to Greg Carlson connecting into inner guidance for me it almost feels like I’m connecting in the spirit and spirit is talking to me so I get Visions I get Visions I get words I guess I get actually some of my greatest business ideas through Lighting on it it’s amazing it’s kind of like I’ve been lately calling it going into the genius Zone where I tap into my genius in in fact there’s a book out called stealing fire which is Broken Arrow from Sing Prometheus and these guys that were doing this flow Genome Project coined the term called ectasis ticket from the word ecstasy and what they call a character Isaac’s tasses with the four terms steer which stands for selflessness timelessness effortlessness and richness it’s a flow State and and what I found is that Lottie Han puts you into this kind of Flow State into the state of ecstatic has so it’s a very powerful practice I’ve been doing it may be anywhere from 10 to 20 hours a week or the last 20 years it has it is created miracles in my life I mean one time I created like $100,000 in a single day I keep in mind that that breakthrough around Lenny was preceded by a huge breakdown but it’s also you know it is has provided many break this in right now I’m working on this is breakthrough since so that’s why I say I get my best business ideas from that space from that practice right on so do you want to talk about it I your practice with intimacy coaching and Township guidance I’d like to hear some highlights of worship that’s actually it was something that I’ve actually started recently I have a Okay so disclaimer I I have been coach for about 10 years but I am a horrible marketer and I don’t actually think that I was meant to relate I think I was supposed to be on a path of my own transformation and so I would do some coaching here and there with different people but I never really made a lot of money at it and when I made a lot of money trading day trading that’s where I made a hundred thousand I ended up retiring and moving to Hawaii so this one of my pictures and sew in Hawaii I spend a lot of time transforming myself who I am having fun I ended up marrying two women at the same time and yes they were like half my age so it was it was it was a disaster in the making they had a whole lot of fun up until the shipments and I ended up falling in well I fell in love with one of the women and wanted to be monogamous with her but she wasn’t going to have it every week we spent a little time in Monopoly like a month but after that she was like she was in love with my best friend and she was in love with me too but man I got so fucking jealous it was like I went through like what is that called The Night of the dark so we ended up getting divorced on every level. Perfect cuz I learned compassion and I learned what jealousy is all about all about all about fear because Greg was my best friend and my teacher and my mentor and you know this incredible and so I put them on a pedestal and actually how could I compete with him with my wife so so is all the sphere and comparison in all ego ship all the good shit so if you play hindsight I I get it you know it’s it’s kind of like you know when you ask for what you want in a cuz I might desire My was to have an open relationship with more than one woman and so I ended up marrying two of them but God has a funny way of as a as a sense of humor have to say cuz sometimes when you get what you ask for be careful something’s going to shift at twist and turn and you’re going to end up in some sort of incredibly powerful learning process. now I feel like I can actually you know I’m in a new relationship now that I actually went through a bunch of relationships since that divorce but I jetes at relationships and this is what I’d really like to talk about because I just started a few months ago a a relationship where I’m calling at the tantric experiment and it really is an experiment in fact if any of your listeners are interested they can hit me up on Facebook my Facebook name is John Ichiro Hill that’s Ichiro Hill only one of me on Facebook so you can friend me but I have a Facebook on Facebook secret group called The tantric experiment if you look at their Facebook groups contract experiment you’ll find it I have to approve anyone that that Anna wants to come on and what I’m doing there is that she and I are sharing a relationship experience and so what I wanted to do was I want to experiment with a relationship that was about transformation about growing together about relay a toxic relationship and so when I say it’s not relationship what I mean is that we have certain agreements are we actually wrote a contract it took us three months to negotiate the contract cuz everything is desire based and for me Tantra is the path of desire and so we support each other’s desires and we have a lot of resonant desire so you know our desires fit together in other words we want the same kinds of be one of the things that she wants to do is she wants to surrender more she wants to move more live more in her feminine issues very masculine in what ways and I’m very feminine in terms of I’m able to easily surrender which is good with a lot of hard practice but I want to practice more of my masculine which is about control about giving about doing about creating and maintaining a holding a strong container where’s the family is about surrender about letting go about being about going into the unknown then ask him it’s more about the known so I get to practice at with her and it is great but what we’re doing inside as relationship as we’re going to explore all the chakras so I have I used Tantra games to explore the chakras at but the big areas that were exploring the ones that are the toughest for most people are money sex and power especially inside a relationship so we are definitely exploring money we have a money game we also have a truth game that we’re playing where we are being radically transparent with each other and sharing your feelings are truth sharing her desires all about and so we play games we have we played a few on audio for during the negotiation phase I was using car audio recorder and record our conversations and some of the games to play it so we played a desire game we played a gratitude game but we’re also going to be we also played a few secs games but we’re also going to be going deeper into sex games one of the things she wants to do is she wants to have a threesome with another woman and strangely enough I’m not opposed to it any definite plans around it yet but we’re also going to be exploring so this next Sunday we’re going to take a orientation with special which is I think one of the old the old dungeons in LA right I don’t know if you’re aware of that well they have a clubhouse in the valley and we’re going to be going there she she’s really into wrestling up she wants to explore can she’s really interested in tying up women she loves being tied up by me so so that’s kind of our first cake that were exploring will be exploring other things as well BDSM and in a different things I might even try a little bit of Fire play we’ll see where all of that goes but that’s what I mean by 200 games so summer sex games summer intimacy games some open the heart some open the throat chakra do you want to describe more how the game works at what to do with the rules are how its setup and well the games that I’ve devised often times are games that are adapted from different different I guess different I guess how would how would I put it the original these days and so things have been floating around for many times like the 12-step program has I think something like a gratitude inventory I don’t know if only ones but one taste where I studied orgasmic meditation and actually got certified as a coach they have a bunch of Anna Victoria so they have a gratitude inventory they have desire inventory they have fear inventory and so I adapted some of these games they even have the game called hot seats another one called intimacy say so they have a lot of different games that they play and Aisha actually have a website that I I developed the like 4 years ago 3 4 years ago call Tantra games.com both attending sharing. Common soccer games. Com are websites that are still running but I don’t read they’re more like Museum pieces at this point I’m planning on starting up a new website based on my name for my business but you can go there and take a look I have some games and I talked about games there but I’ll tell you the Gratitude game that I played with my girlfriend that was back in I think February that we played that game it is a great game it’s a hard opening game that supports people in feeling the love basically if you’re in a relationship it’s a great game to play what you do is set a timer for 15 minutes or whatever time you want for 15 minutes is a good time because it gives you a chance to write quite a few gratitudes so what you ride is I love dot-dot-dot about you what it is did you write down everything that you love about your partner or your lover whoever it is that you’re doing this this game with and they write the same thing about you I love this about you I love that about you I love you know I love whatever and you write this all down and then at the end when the timer goes off you got all these gratitudes or things that you love about this person and then you read them to each other add each time you read one the other person the person is listening says thank you and sometimes you’ll be surprised about what your partner loves about you it’s a great way how would this be how we making this available with a v through like a workbook or videos or no I’m actually planning on giving some free webinars and these webinars I’m going to start these webinars next month they’re free webinars anyone around the world can connect you and his sister will be on Zoom I’m probably going to live it up to like 50 people get a soda have to register in a day but during the webinar is called life lessons so if you look for it life lessons a webinar and you can always hit me up on Facebook if you like or if you want to get my email address is John I Hill at gmail.com but what I’m going to do with this webinars is I’m going to share an embarrassing story for my life and the lesson I learned that embarrassing story because life is your most powerful teacher how you can study with teachers are great but life your girlfriends or boyfriends your relationships are your most powerful teachers and so during each webinar will be about an hour long what I’m going to do is I’m going to share an embarrassing story probably about some well some people call a taboo subjects I think my first webinar I’m going to be talking about my first marriage where I ended up having a mistress a secret mistress on the side and lying about it for two years so I’m not proud of it but I’m hoping that through my story people will learn that paper we all make mistakes we all do things because we have egos we have an identity and the identity will make us to strange things because they were afraid or you know whatever the whatever is going on from our childhood wounding or whatever it is will create message sometimes but we can learn from these messages and so I’m going to share a story I’ll talk about why I did what I did you know kind of related to the ego and then talk about the lessons I learned from it cuz there’s just some very powerful lessons at once you learn from your mistakes from the things that you do in your life and then I’m going to probably a share a contract principal make my pee after Po and then I’ll share a country game with everyone and so you’re free to use the soccer game so I’m not like selling the toddler games so I’m I’m maybe as someday I will but right now a lot of these games like I’m just willing to give away but I do have a new program coming up which is called the ton trick Adventure it’s a 90-day program in which I’ll be ushering about Tantra and how it can support you in creating whatever it is you want in your life in a weather Financial Freedom sexual freedom for me Tantra as I said it’s a path of Desire but it’s even more importantly a path to freedom and when I say freedom what I mean by that is freedom from the shackles of the ego rather than being controlled and run by your ego you’re actually the ego becomes a friend and a servant so if anyone’s interested in that I’d be glad to offer your listeners I’ll be willing to offer like 10 free sessions 10 free Discovery session is although what I’m doing now with my Discovery sessions is rather than making it a discovery session but I like to do is play a game and the game I want to play with people is what I call the desire breakthrough game so you bring whatever desire you have you know something maybe that you thought was impossible or you given up on or a desire that just doesn’t seem to want to fulfill that something is blocking you or whatever it is that you have a desire that just is not happening call I’d like you to bring that and what I’m going to do is we’re going to do an hour session and for 45 minutes I’m going to work with you using my technology and support you in having some sort of breakthrough with your desire and then the last 15 minutes is just to give you an opportunity to ask me questions I’ll share about the tongue Creek Adventure the 90-day program might be possible for you in that program and then no obligation if you’re interested you can do no sign up to pay a deposit and be in the program or if you decide know I got what I needed from you know your break through then that’s fine too so it is a free session and and I just didn’t like to offer to your carelessness awesome thank you so much so what did you what do you have more things planned on the rising or you’re going to be pretty busy with this for now I’m working on launching my business I entered into a mentorship program with this woman I’ve actually it’s interesting the last few years has been really so powerful women in my life Nicole daidone of one taste was powerful woman that really changed my life in a lot of ways I learned a lot from her and one taste but this other woman her name is Marisa Murgatroyd what the name you know she is a business coach a branding expert she helps entrepreneurs become super heroes to their tribe so I enrolled in a year-long mentorship program work program with her I put down 18,000 for this program so you know that I’m serious about it and what I find is that programs like this cuz I was in a coaching program with one Tay’s what they provide you know any Workshop or any kind of program that you’re in for bicycling tainer and inside that container you can actually transform so I took what I found is that inside of this container I’m actually starting transform and starting to really feel like I can make a huge impact on the world and that’s really what I wanted to I’ve learned a lot I’ve experienced a lot I feel like I’ve got a lot of gifts to give now and and that’s what I want to do want to make a difference in the world and make an impact in a positive way is theirs yeah there’s so much going on the world right now that is hard for me to show us a stomach I mean we have for president who sing Congress the state of war that we seem to be in for so long and I see no end in sight and and the way that were thrashing this planet I mean you know it hurts it it makes me pissed off every time I look at Facebook and I see all the stuff going on I just this is really hard so I want to make a difference in some way and I’m doing it with Tantra so that’s my two cents right there and I will I look forward to seeing the first and all these things I definitely feel like a games and fun and then you know light-hearted activities are a better way to learn new content and being a sort of well they could be a storage area nor are punitive ways to shake people out of their patterns and whatnot there’s just certainly I would like a lighter softer way to engage with some of the Shadow work and stuff them in a cemetery yeah yeah I get it and I also want to say that the time for games that I talked about use the word game purposely because I want people to have fun and I want people to feel like they’re playing at life that life is actually a game and not take it so seriously and at the same time the games are designed 2 create some discomfort and this is important for people to understand in fact one of the things that I noticed on my Facebook group that’s on trick experiment is that I I finally realized I think I knew this before anyway but I’m starting to realize more and more that I am what you might call a transformation Catalyst in business to call someone like me a change agent and so what I will say or sometimes do will make people uncomfortable things that happened in my Facebook group and you might get a kick out of this is why I talked about radical transparency about with my My Girlfriend by the way we’re in a six-month contract just so you know that this contract that we sign is for 6 months and at the end of 6 months I actually don’t know what’s going to happen I love that I’ve done the same thing and I want to hear hear more details about that cuz I think that’s the way to go it is an awesome way to do relationship because for me while in a could be six months could be a year could be three months whatever but but the cool thing is that it’s a commitment and you know how many people are commitment-phobes especially guys and women complain about you have no commitment and so this is the way making a commitment for a limited amount of time and then deciding okay well at the end of that time do we do another 6 months or do we call it quits or do we get married or in a like it leaves a relay open so I really like that aspect of it but what I do with our truth game is I will share things that aren’t always easy for her to hear and I did this in the group and its it triggered a bunch of people and what I shared was that I forget the contacts but there was something that she had said and then I said you know we have a difficult relationship sometimes and sometimes I’m really attracted to her and sometimes I’m repulsed by her while the word repulsed predator and and she said something like repulsed writing and then I wrote well where you going with this you know this is just a feeling and I am feelings we have really have no control over I choose to Love You Love A friend of mine from way back he was in a men’s group with me and he just did not hold back at all and he gave me a new one he said something like he basically said I was insensitive ass all week we joke about it my girlfriend I cuz I said you know you can my pet name or you can give you the pet name insensitive asshole just call me whenever you want and then when is thinks that she has is cuz she complains all the time about do things for her like I I want to serve desire part of the role of the masculine is to serve desire and the role of the salmon is to receive and so I’m always rented server desire and always reading something new with her opening new doors creating things that she’s never experienced before like she’s never experienced ejaculation female ejaculation and so she recently started ejaculating in she’s like oh my God you know so there’s always something new that I am I’m opening up for her and she loves it and she’s she will say something like you know so great what you did I love that and and then she’ll complain about what I didn’t do so then my pet name for her is greedy ditch and she laughs so so so white hardness and games and play are really great and you got to know that it’s going to get them comfortable you know we I triggered her all she triggers me sometimes and so if we didn’t have this commitment we’ve actually signed a contract who knows who might have split up and I know and so it is great it’s a great way of staying in the game playing Fallout and knowing that we both have enough Integrity to stay the course and the we’re really in the unknown about what’s going to happen at the end but I do know one thing is at the end of the six months we’re going to do a completion ceremony where we do the Gratitude game once more and we’re going to we’re going to come work really going to get the love and appreciation that we have for each other and we’ve been in each other’s lives and then what we’re going to do 3 to take a month-long break from each other so get a break for a month not talk to each other just be totally separate so we can come back into ourselves as as things and then of what we’re going to do is come to back together for a weekend and incidentally we only see each other on the weekends cuz I really have to focus on my business so we don’t live together but the weekend is this intense when we come back together for weekend and then we decide what’s next together I love it this is the Paradigm I would love to and have it with more people who don’t now there’s someone that I have a list of of of with the word hesitation or why I understand why people get hostel and and negative and and resistant to this disk approach but I feel like the benefits way very much outweigh the drawbacks and I’m curious if you have you know what do you want to call him selling points or just dump rose on the pros and cons but just help can a layout for if we can for a few minutes the what did common arguments against this is and it’s obviously fighting mostly from people who never tried it and I just will not dare they will not dare try something like this because they believe in myself box but they basically you’re so brainwashed in program that they don’t have self control and power to design their own the way they conduct their body and they’re in their hearts they just want to be in this delusion of spontaneity is is the only way to be sincere as it has to be spontaneous and it has to the only love is true is got it it’s not true if it doesn’t last forever reminisce Smith’s oh by the way to look at it if you want to help us meth bust around you know why is it doesn’t have to be so structured and so so chaotic and you can actually put some thinking to it and design in Arby’s short and long-term lease contracts to see will I would love to I would love to one of the things I’ve learned in the last few years is how important a container is now I’ve known this for a while now because I used to do a lot of free-form dance and they always talk about a container in which is kind like the rules that’s why is games are a container structure you got rules and so a contract is a container you know it and the beauty of having a container is you can surrender in what you can feel safe in a container okay so let me let me explain that women have we all have it but women in particular have a Vigilant Center in one of the practices that I took up a few years back is orgasmic meditation and one of the big things about orgasmic meditation is that it has a very strong tight container it has like 14 steps is a protocol you have to do it this way if the dude that way everything is like this is the way you have to do it and it’s a very strong container but what’s important about this container is that creates safety for the woman because the woman is totally surrendered she’s got her legs spread and the stroker typically guy is stroking her clit now to have a one end end this could be strangers I mean I would stroke the clits of women that I just met for the first time I didn’t even know their name sometimes it was like for me it was kind of insane when I first started doing this now it’s because I’m kind of like normal but it’s still pretty weird that it is a woman’s take your pants off and she gets into the nest call the nest and and then you start stroking your clit but if it wasn’t for the container and knowing that guys and just did this is the other piece is the roll again the feminine to masculine and when I talked them in and ask’n were talking about the divine feminine Divine masculine it’s like The Duality inside Tantra and decide the physical world and so the role of the masculine is really to hold the container and the role of the feminine is surrender inside a container and Sosa same thing with relationship one of the big secrets that women in a what of what women want is women want to be able to surrender and if a guy can really hold a container man I mean you talking about I mean might my girlfriend will sometimes Cry tears of gratitude because of the container that I hold yeah it’s it’s really amazing intellect when we’re making love and and I’m just like I’m holding your so tight and I’ve got her arms wrapped and I’ve got my arms wrapped around her so she can’t even move and and it’s like she feels safe feels help and and I believe that at some level women really want this so it’s I think men if they can really learn how to hold a really great container and that’s why this relationship is working so great and we’ll see where it goes but it is a way in this why wouldn’t want to get married they want a container trouble is that you know they sometimes everything is going great until they get married then suddenly everything goes to shit what are you just need to get married once every six months in computer to the same person or two other person fight that’s what you’re talking about is you say queued going to renew your marriage contract at an interval that makes it so that you don’t get lazy with your health your of your you know your Fitness I mean is a million dimensions of slack that can be taken when you feel like you’re taken and you just let yourself go I was with Miss Lori and her said that you know a lot of people there they get me something about she was interviewing some swingers who were citing research that said that if you swing or swingers live longer because they’re healthier because they will then I guess this was the deduction is it because they are on the market for to be sexy for other people they actively maintain a healthy and fit lifestyle and they don’t just slumped into whatever so she sent you a lot of people these once they’re taken they just let themselves go and had said you know it’s it’s it’s interesting how everything could change if you had that sense of healthy competition and being sort of Liberty and Freedom Movement of people talk about Liberty how complacent the government institutions can be when they don’t have to compete they just take money and it’s all good and you know it doesn’t really matter they don’t have to innovate pressure to innovate and enough pressure to the efficient so you have all this you know well questionable efficacy in their ministration and then in the private sector you have Fierce competition and constant Innovation and you know somewhere I suppose you could say between but I mean to apply the analogy it’s like I said that to her lover boy you know before it’s it’s it’s it’s it’s actually going to make us love each other harder and better if we know that we both have the option to you know leave each other behind if we’re not performing satisfactorily it we’re not being you know measuring up if someone else comes along and that I always said to you know I don’t mind if I don’t really consider it cheating if I’m with a woman and she wants to be with somebody else you know either she going to have a great time and I’m and I can learn from that if she’s more satisfied or has a better experience or new experience I can run from that and if she doesn’t have a positive experience then that’ll be enforced that I’m the better lover if I need to have that sort of you know ego trip about it but yeah I just reaffirming you know what you’re saying and the trouble is that you know people think that once they get married you know they’re done and they’re safe and everything’s going to be hunky-dory and you know the rate of divorce in this country is rampant and so there’s no safety in you know having a lifelong monogamous marriage and so and end the kind of contract that you can design the kind of relationship you can design is just based on your desire main like for example I have no need to take on other lovers inside the six-month contract but I’ve encouraged her to have other lovers because the what happened was that I’ve had lots of lots of lovers in my life so I’ve had multiple threesomes for seven spice sounds like all kinds of stuff so it’s not a big deal to me but she’s only had like think like 5 lovers in her life and she’s had to Long marriage has been monogamous both of those and she just got out of a marriage maybe about a year after when we met and so she has it really been with other man and I feel like it’s important for her to have some experience with other men so that you know it’s not just me so inside or contract she is allowed to have other lovers I’m not allowed to have a lover unless she’s present was that your stipulation or was that her feeling or it was if we always agree that’s that’s the thing when you’re writing up my back do you have to fully agree to whatever is in the contract and want to break it or it can only last for it to be agreeable than it could maybe only lasts for one night and that’s that you know but it’s good to have it for as long as I just checked in 24 hours so if you can write up the contract anyway you want and you know if anyone is interested in any kind of support with that like I said we spent about three months going through it’s a I think about a three or four page contract another important to the contract because I want I have cuz I found it relationship is one of the most powerful ways of transforming so one of the things that we did in our contract was to write out an outcome statement and we each wrote out and welcome statement we put it in the past tense like this is already happen it’s like who do you want to be at the end of six months in a what kind of person who are you how do you relate to others you know who are you in the world and so it was just a small paragraph that each room is broke and we actually spoke those at our handfasting ceremony incidentally you know I’ve been talked about marriage a lot we did not get married we. Handfasted and had 10 passing it for those listeners that don’t know what it is was something from it was a pagan ritual we’re typically you would get hand fasted for a year and a day and so it was the original contractual I guess marriage if you will but it was not a lifelong thing it was a year-long thing at yourselves everything doesn’t it yeah yeah so you know what do you want to make 6 months going to make it a year make it a month whatever it is I mean one of my tires and my girlfriend noses and she actually has 6 tire is I’ve I’ve had this desire for a while for a few years now is to look up pornstar and actually actually would like to have like a short-term relationship with a pornstar so you know who is short-term relationship where I get to experience what that would be like if I’m sure it would push me lots of ways just one of those taboo kinds of desirous that I have a great that was actually that desire actually got me to La and created. Com well it created a whole bunch of stuff I actually interviewed 40 actors or audition for the actors when I came to La stars but I always liked all set to create a reality show I was going to be a star of the reality show pornstar was going to be real in real life turned out that it wasn’t the truth and I had to let it go for the moment but that’s how much this kind of like really what I would call a beastly desire in Ocala real like lower chakra kind of desire which I have no judgment about it’s just there’s just a lot of juice and energy and passion in that which pin relay juice up whatever you’re working on and so that desire so with me and now it’s being transferred into changing the world making a mess awesome well I guess I’m kind of doing this piece of meal do-it-yourself bootstraps reality Ishq drama series I guess you would call but it’s just it’s just if you become a country I don’t want to say master I’m really abhorrent kind of myself to that weird but when you become a facilitator educator a teacher coach you kind of can’t help but having a catalytic transformational effect on people to wear it in in in in a word that very easily understood by the media you know mass media culture is is you doing a country makeover when you take on a client and your kind of why is just funny because that’s one of my other other programs is what I call a ton truck makeover great minds think alike if I if I do say so myself as great as you and talk to you about that since we stumbled on here I haven’t really created the program yet it’s it was just one of my one of the I have like a program that is the chalk Creek Adventure which is 3 months the tantric makeover we should be six months and then actually creating a ton truck lifestyle which is a year-long program debonder once a right now I’m just watching the this program is brand-new the 23rd Adventure I’m going to limit it to like 10 or 12 people cuz I really want to devote all my energy into having everyone have a huge breakthrough fill in some details on that and give people something to look forward to checking out and oh okay well thanks thanks the Todrick Adventure like I said it’s a brand new program what’ll be is 90 days and during that time I’m going to be about three months I’ll be doing 12-hour training is this is all by the way to online so you don’t have to live in LA to be part of the program you can be anywhere in the world but once a week I’m going to be doing a training online like a 90-minute training and then I’m going to do some individual coaching on for the people like two or three coaching someone I also have a lot of video and multimedia I’ve been working with multimedia for a long time and what I found is out by the way I just did a a video of the practice of law team on and in what I I’ve done is made of instructional induction oil and vibrational so in other words there’s some instruction there about how to go into a lot of pain but then I actually enjoy induct people into the experience during the video so if you’re watching the video I actually asked you to close your eyes and then I start talking you into the experience and and what are the important parts of lighting line is that you can take an intention and have it in power and so the other piece is I called vibrational so the video carries of migration or frequency that will support you in receiving your desire or your intention and I have a a CD that I created about 8 years ago actually in Hawaii on the big call opening to receive by empowering the root chakra and it is a very very powerful I don’t know of any other CD or soundscape or sound healing CD out there that has the power of this month this when you can actually this really feel in your body when you listen to it now. The downside is that people don’t like it because it’s uncomfortable to guess what it’s doing is his activating everything that blocks you from actually receiving more from life so it’s going to activate all your fear that activate anger you’re going to get annoyed you’re going to get irritated you’re going to get like nervous anxiety is going to come up and so what you need to do if you need to actually move that energy so I teach people in this class how to move energy and I actually have a another video series called moving energy elegantly that I did about 10 years ago where I teach people how to move energy when I talk about energy really talks about emotional energy and so I shared with how to move pain fear anger I even have some massage tools that I used sometimes and so these are some of the training tools that I’ll be using and then I have some other videos of me actually going through a process where you can actually enroll friends to help you in a transformation process and and then I’ve got another video series that I did call the road trip Series where I was able to you know I got married to two women well this road trip I spent a couple of months on the road traveling with my friends and I had what we call the Catalyst convention and I did a bunch of things to clear my sex and relationship stuff that was you know my demons whatever you want to call him when he ghosts up and at the end of that trip I met this woman that I fell in love with and I had the most incredible sex that I’ve ever had we would basically have sex 6 or 7 hours a day about two and a half months and then she had to go back to Austria so so it’s incredible you can create so this road trip is about how do you create the relationship of your dreams I sure all of that in these videos cuz they’re actually videos of me clearing having a completion of clearing with my sister with my ex girlfriend with a bunch of people service it’s like amazing videos that I have to find those are that’s part of the programme had suggested I have to private message me on Facebook so they can do that my name is John each row Hill Ichiro they can email me John I Hill at gmail.com I think those are the best ways to reach me right now cool alright well thank you so much I had a lot of fun and I’m glad we got to come around since I’ve been here about half the halfway point of the year since we kind of said some high high level intentions from a high point of the the sunset the Sunset Boulevard was an m and has hotel which was where was that empowered and indefinitely there was lots of Prada running up to our little Council that we rebuilt their yeah it’s going to be nice to just keep flowing so yeah that’s definitely be in touch and I look forward to next time ya ya is so great to reconnect with you you’re a great guy I love what you’re doing in the world thank you likewise yeah we will definitely be in touch okay alright I’ll buy you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episode if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com Thomas Day

Building Therapeutic Community for Male Survivors with Jim Struve TTP116

Play

Jim Struve Pic

In this episode I am joined by one of my new personal heroes, Jim Struve of MaleSurvivor.org.  He provides an overview of his life’s work in service to the male survivor community.  As a pioneer in the field he shares deep and profound insights into the scope and severity of this issue. I’m very grateful that he graciously held supportive space for me to vent my frustrations and share my concerns. Ultimately we agree that hopeful and encouraging progress is being made within the survivor community of all genders worldwide and that with better sexuality education, we may be able to effectively overcome this crisis.

Please visit http://www.MaleSurvivor.org to learn more about his great works.

About Jim:
Jim Struve, LCSW has been a practicing social worker since 1976. He is currently a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in private practice in Salt Lake City, providing psychotherapy services to individuals, couples, and groups. With special attention to mindful presence in the healing relationship, Jim works with a wide range of client issues: trauma (including male and female survivors of sexual victimization), relationship enhancement (including issues such as intimacy, assertiveness, identity, gender, self-esteem, and sexuality), healthy life choices, fostering resilience, conflict resolution, parenting, addiction recovery, and dissociative disorders (including Dissociative Identity Disorder). Jim is a founding member of MaleSurvivor.org and is Manager of the Weekends of Recovery retreat program. He was the recipient of the Richard Gartner Outstanding Clinical Services Award at the 2010 International MaleSurvivor Conference in New York City.

Jim regularly conducts workshops and trainings for professionals. He has been an Adjunct Professor for Westminster College in Salt Lake City (teaching a seminar in “Trauma, Grief, & Loss”) and he is frequently invited for in-services programs for agencies and college classes for clinical mental health students.

Publications for Jim include: “Dancing With the Patriarchy: The Politics of Sexual Abuse” (1990); The Ethical Use of Touch in Psychotherapy (1997) – co-author with Mic Hunter; “Beyond the Gay/Straight Binary: Gender and/or Sexually Diverse Male Survivors” (2018) – co-author with Howard Fradkin & Lee Beckstead; and “Empowering Male Survivors to Heal Through Community and Peer Connections” (2017) – co-author with Howard Fradkin, 2018.

AI Generated Transcription:
(Want to help with corrections? Please contact me to learn about rewards for your efforts!)

Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear beloved welcome to Township on podcast episode number 116 I am with Jim struzzi and he is a founding member of the male Survivor organization which I had the blessing to attend to a kind of mini conference in Los Angeles a few years ago and it was just really heartwarming and really nurturing tube to feel supported in in the space of being a male Survivor myself and to just Network and really important profound shifts and subsequent events happened from from the attending that and I’ve always over the years have the intention to reach out and get someone from the organization to speak in the podcast about wood what it is that they do and I got a notification from a Facebook group one of my one of my many email list that there’s going to be a week in recovery Retreat happening and so I was able to get gym Who is the the manager of that event and also to be on the show to talk about what that offering is and I also just give us some background and history about the male Survivor organization and how this movement of exposing this issue is is really starting to to move forward more more rapidly and effectively so with that said Jim thank you so much for being here and if you could just yet helped a little bit a little bit about your your personal life path and what brings you into a leadership role okay thanks and thanks for having me and welcome to all your your listeners glad to be part of this discussion kind of concise summary version of this is that I first got into the steel back in 1976 when I began to work for Child Protective Services Agency in Atlanta Georgia I was part of the Emergency Services Unit we investigated situations of child abuse in the black them because there wasn’t a lot of males have time, staff I ended up being a sign lots of the cases of boys who were being discovered for sexual trauma work to that job for about four and a half years doing in chicken emergency working then my journey has kind of taken me into becoming a licensed clinical social worker because of that it when I left that job at 1 residential facility working with primarily boys most all of them is sexual trauma been working a couple of psychiatric hospitals were a lot of the patients were sexual trauma survivors and along the way realize that there were very few limited services for males are the emerging back then for rape recovery centers in female survivors but not much for men’s so began to figure out what we could do to help some services and was fortunate enough to bump into a couple of other clinicians and singer who was up in New Jersey in. Jamaica was up in the Twin Cities at the time and we all were struggling with the same thing of Finding Dory she resources to work with this issue and we all pleasure going to try to see if we could pull together some conference to dress that issue and we were successful in 1988 to get there was a good to be a conference in Minnesota to work with sexual offenders and they agree to the date of their conference let us organize something around male Survivor so that in the fall of 1988 in St Paul was the first Gathering that we know of anywhere it was addressing this issue and one of the concerns was it’s a stereotype about the that males are more at risk for becoming a fender so we wanted to change that perception we decide an extra to do a conference in Atlanta get its focus solely on male survivors who were not offenders and effort into 450 people from 14 countries attended added that alarm system to the formation of the organization that eventually became male Survivor. Org we all kept doing conferences every year and then finally legally Incorporated in 1995 and he organizations exist it ever since in 2001 we added the weekend to recovery Retreat program 3-day Retreat for men who have experienced sexual trauma either as children or adults in the one we doing now in August of this year in Utah will be our 69th weekend we’ve done so we’ve been around for a while I put a lot of men who come to the program gotten her resources in so I can talk a little bit about the program as we go in but that’s kind of the vice versa of our history and evolution well thank you so much for sharing that I I I did not know it went back that far and that’s really exciting to hear so you must have so much inside now and so many positive outcomes to share do you want to talk about some of the some of the the program Services other types of resources that have evolved as you’ve been doing the conferences and the Retreats and the if somebody was just getting into Discovery Miss what would what would you recommend for them what was the main thing that we run into still to this day is most men who have experienced sexual trauma at some point during the lights still really feel like they’re the only one it’s very rare that a lot of people have met anybody else where that experience is limited exposure that she will head of the media or other places so one of the biggest things that happens with the organization with the weekend is just breaking the isolation and if nothing else happens that’s life-changing and of itself since we’ve been successful through near the internet is now around so that allows people to connect to network. Rooms discussion boards that are available to website so people no longer have to remain in isolation and the other thing that’s been helpful that way especially with cell phones technology the internet people can meet each other over a huge Geographic expands to send can begin to actually Chad and talk and learn from others who had the experience there’s also been a proliferation of literature books that have been written videos YouTube not have lots of materials available some major films that have come out that address the topic so I think it’s a little bit of a chicken or the egg kind of thing that I think we and other organizations like I was heavy into was that the discussion and have been able to help Foster much more public awareness at the same time and lots more people more and more people are finding someone in their life has been touched and probably already know this but the current research has that one of every for females experience the sexual trauma in their lifetime and what’s less known as it once every 6 male experienced sexual trauma sometimes I like and I think that’s because of Reporting Act much much closer to it being just as much an issue for males as it is for females and one thing we’ve been very clear about all the way along is we don’t want it to work with mail to take away or distract from the reality of sexual trauma with females gender-inclusive we don’t want to be stealing resources competitive we want to address the matter as it relates to both issues not for one to get some more attention than the other so we’ve been collaborating where we can with organization great recovery centers to really have gender inclusive spa services available awesome also well there’s so many questions I have for someone in your position really around will recently in Utah of all places I just buy synchronicity I guess you might have heard about how there was a declaration of pornography as a Public Health crisis the the public for what would be more restrictive laws to come out and I’m just I’m in that world and in certain ways and so I’m aware of those those developments but I feel that is as much as there is a desire to address the issue of corn which is an issue no matter what side is that you’re on it is it is the Pro or con it’s an issue but I feel like the the they’re starting to do more rigorous research around the effects of corn on the brain and I I just feel like it’s starting to kind of become a more sophisticated anti-pornography movement where eventually it’s going to be a scientific and medical research question where the policy will be decided by the research and I feel like that’s what I would love to see more proactively from the Survivor movement and I’m curious if you would have inside says to know other people working on really bringing this issue and the research about the prevalence of it and trying to kind of sound an alarm and get us into more of a Alert state where were I believe it’s the state of an emergency personally because of my experience and what I’ve observed just anecdotally but you would be in probably position to say hey are we what what are the the trends with being taken very seriously and having there be more of like a a bigger scale public Service Announcement kind of curriculum upgrade excetera excetera my my chicken this is the corn debate is one of those distracting issues that has become very politicized in his stealing attention away from things are rages over attention it seems to me they were under current issue is it weed we do not provide sex education sex awareness to anybody in our culture is very hit-and-miss weather people get to itself just like to be an emergency responder where we’re going to work with accident people have to be exposed to the issues I have to be alert to what happens so you can know what to do if you get into a situation where your emergency skills are needed we do not train are you do not train or culture to be alert to the emergency of being sexually assaulted is very little attention given that sofa so many people if it happens during childhood they don’t have a reference point maybe even know if what’s occurring to them is good battery neutral that’s just happening to them they’re being what is an overwhelmed by the experience and then because we are talk about sex we don’t talk about those things people know intuitively are instinctively don’t tell anybody about it or in this happens for man so often when they when they do discloses something happen there either blamed for a why didn’t you stop it why didn’t you protect yourself in it soon then should be able to do that or there may be some when why did you go back again why did you let it happen but we get into this really cauldron for lack of better words Cesspool for probably more accurate language in where we just don’t have the resources or the capacity to understand. Even process sexual trauma we don’t talk about it we get all of our discussion into things that we can vilify like pornography and it distracts the discussion over onto that pornography is a very real issue is very important but it doesn’t allow us to keep her attention that we need basic education about sexuality we need basic awareness of sexual and gender diversity we need people to understand their own bodies we need to understand the Dynamics when were invaded when founders are violated so the people have the resources to send to deal with sexual trauma in a very different way than we currently are and it just happens for women we debate whether the skirt was too short for the men why didn’t you leave a shadow is better if we spent all her time on that and then when it becomes legal instead of mental health it’s proving who’s telling the truth who’s right even when we know someone has the dick to my house we argue over who was right through his Ron rather than how do we help someone recover from their trauma right so we there is a lot of work to be done a lot of dimensions a lot of front lines and yeah you know what I don’t know when it was not too long ago I was looking at some application for a government related job and I don’t know form online but I just could not believe there was it seemed like there were pages and pages of graphic descriptions of forms of sexual abuse that you could not have been convicted for in order to have that job and you don’t do any but I guess to the average just tell him I say zombie or sheep with this is the average person uses walking to go to the Matrix urges if they’re desensitized and numbed out it’s like oh yeah well you know their sickos and creepy stranger danger so of course they’ve got to put the stuff in there but to me when I saw that I might well have we don’t think that were in the middle of a plague right right right you had to if this was an epidemiological issue it mean if the CDC were involved and they would be doing things to lock down populations in quarantine ready and they would be proposed putting up tents and they will be flying in with hazmat suits on tube to try to understand it at this level in spurts of just be well you know it’s kind of a slap on the wrist and then you have to be registered and you go to knock on the doors and there’s just this sort of what do you call even in The Big Lebowski they made a big joke about it they made a big joke about the John Turturro being the child molester in and it was, I’ve seen other really really despicable pop-culture mockeries of this issue that just made it made it really apparent to me that people are so so autopilot cognitive dissonance completely just so it’s so disturbing and disgusting and traumatic that it it just has to have these almost a caricature release valves in popular culture but it obviously doesn’t feedback do anything really constructive and I mean even remember there was that that music video complete and total really deeply disturbing creepy depiction of the sky who was all in his thirties maybe late thirties or totally dirty and nasty and find me and he’s in this skin suit dancing in this really perverted erotic dance with this little girl and it was supposed to be this art piece and it was total crisis within your organization and and what’s what’s happening with it as you move forward if your I guess where does the rubber meets the road with with with lobbying and an advising you know the Surgeon General committees on this I mean when will the when will there be a national federal task force and when will they be Consulting with you guys or how do we push that forward I guess in question policy you know what I think I think things are changing you’ll get a focusing particular ride on male sexual trauma for this discussion here rape recovery centers are now have grown and almost every Community has some resource recovery center that’s addressing services and most of them now as a mention that the beginning here are being becoming gender-inclusive so that there is much more service awareness with that child protective service agency is there are much more aware of this happening across the gender Spectrum there’s a lot more education campaigns that are beginning to happen and it’s slow but we are getting lots of Outreach organizations that are doing a Richburg food is getting to be more and more visibility now a Survivor and over the years we’ve been doing lots of public education we will going to community show movie have a panel discussion afterwards get good attendance I with those and then there are more and more men who are beginning to find the courage because they’re getting help the treatment where they can speak out about their own experience and when you think about one in every six man has been sexually assaulted at some point in their in their lifetime if everybody begins to disclose that somewhere Somebody almost everybody’s going to know I survived her and so therefore it’s beginning to be more in the couch it is not those people over there it’s someone close in our lives that really she people uncomfortable or discomfort in to talk about it on these issues in one very clear meth is it people are sexually traumatized by strangers true it almost most of the time people know the perpetrator is someone the perpetrator was someone in their life and so therefore it’s a stranger danger of being alert to people who are already in your lives in for boys for men a lot of the assault may happen from say for example is scout leader a minister a coach someone who’s who’s in who’s in the system and some people who made the gender non-conforming the presentation may be attacked Boyd has some kind of a hate crime that involve sexual assault by people who know the person being targeted because they’re not presenting is traditionally masculine that’s one of the bigger miss that we have to begin to confront it it’s the people in our lives that we need to be alert to not not as much for getting that at folkestone just done strangers but I can talk to about the video and the other they all promote that myth that if someone is lurking in the darkness and someone going to drive by a car and kick someone out for right I’ve heard that. I’ve heard some staggering statistics it’s the places where they were trusted usually typically men who are of whatever condition that inhibits the ability to have empathy I said I would say that’s the coming out there with your skin or drug addiction or alcoholism or other I mean that’s in it but you know how I feel like there could be a some sort of threat assessment infographic that shows people very clearly Here RV overlapping Circles of you know or the concentric circles of danger and then really the private residence is the most dangerous place to be a child and you’ll be safer running away and sleeping at the park then you would be potentially where you were drunk uncle or Neighbor comes over while your parents are checking out and parents are checking out now more than ever with their phones I can’t even imagine being a nation was it she had to work as a single mother to put food on the table she had to be gone long hours and that’s just you know who opened up for dangerous in the areas that we turn our backs into have trusted so-called adults there but I’m so do you have off the top of your head just to kind of breakdown of where the you mentioned some of the service providers or trusted you know people in the community that would have access private access to children when their parents aren’t there where there’s not a group of people watching and those obviously would be the you know the sort of like if we could map math at this out culturally you know to really know where to focus efforts is at can you speak more on that I think the reality is that we start from the point where a sexual trauma can happen when someone has access to a child or another adult and the risk factors increase with some predictable trajectory when you have a child or an adult who it was it was in some degree of vulnerability like for example a young child who is in daycare has stricken baby sitters Etc there’s nothing to say that a babysitter or daycare worker is inherently in a fender but it’s a place where you need to be alert to excuse or what’s happening with a child HughesNet setting and so often let me just jump ahead it’s when children or adults have access with someone who could be in a sander and they have some pretty obvious characteristic sometimes like sudden behavioral changes to their academic performance begins to fall they want to drop out of some extracurricular activity whatever and then lot of times as parents or the child mood either going through state Missouri Southern do people say did something happen is something wrong can you tell me more about what’s going on we chant it too often because we’re busy we got other things we just thought I passed out and Dylan are being but and then you may have an adult a coach to scout leader someone else who just takes a little too much interest in being alone with the children and we should pay attention to is something actress Sarah when we have a child or an adult who has a disability who has some kind of physical mental learning disability that makes them vulnerable to need to be in share with people who have undue access to them are we paying attention and accuse if something changes that something might have happened of paying attention to the people in our lives and noticing things that might change the alert us if something happened but also go back to sex education and relationship educating people about Good Touch Bad Touch shop appropriate boundaries and appropriate boundaries and helping the people our lives pay attention to them while we pay attention to the people in our lives that’s why we’re guess we’re going to get our ourselves around this and then we need to where we can change the culture where we going we don’t excuse we don’t charm and allow mistreating people to go on the show off of the sexual jokes that happened to kind of behaviors and fraternities the go on we trying to return look the other way and see what is just kids being kids and don’t realize the risk factors that people might be being exposed to alcohol and drugs can be part of the formula but a lot of times you don’t need alcohol or drugs the culture is permissive enough to allow Congress to be crossed bright I feel like if there was a sober kind of come to Jesus meeting as a culture every night I dream of the day where we will cancel Christmas in order to have a fireside chat with some leader or group of leaders who are willing to sit there and say everybody our religions are failing us are medications are failing us are so like how everything is failing as we cannot stop this we need to call for international state of emergency and we need to get it almost like I mean I would be I would be favorable to Ace a form of sexual martial law almost don’t leave your sorry but it might be okay I mean I guess you don’t want to get too too far off the deep end with this but I I feel like a welded the sober way to frame this conversation if I if I had the chance I would ask America Odessa world the question how many instances of sexual abuse is it okay for your child to have is it like you know they’re going to experiment with drugs and alcohol so we’ll let him you know have a have a beer here and there and if you know don’t go they’ll know what the world is like I mean this people who would say that yeah you should go get beat up and bullied because then you’ll know how to be a good employee when you have a boss who who’s the president and it’s almost blase okay yeah it’s just going to happen or if you’re going to learn the hard way probably how the real world is but I think it’s really thought about that they would say actually know there’s not it’s not okay for one instance to happen ever ever okay and I think we we we sort of we act appalled after the fact driving the preventative you know infrastructure building than cultural transformation that that it would take so then the question is and maybe it’s a fair question for you I’d say there was this level of people take me seriously and they were willing to drop everything and address this issue faced on full-on it’s like the question would be how how where where could there be like experimental Community where where things like masturbation are actually applauded and there’s space for people to relieve themselves sexually as needed that don’t involve using other people as experience for they’re getting off you know if you’re there for their entertainment I mean understanding that Sexual Energy has the flow and we have to give it places the flow otherwise it’s going to get it’s going to get backed up and cause problems I mean there I have a million ideas for what a progressive you know I guess like I would like to call to rape free zone you know where it’s not just that their behavior laws but it’s it we figured out how to never let there be one moment of opportunity for you if there was really like that and experimental safe space yeah I don’t I don’t think we’re going to move ourselves Beyond this current issue through loss I don’t think this is something that we can legislate it’ll take it something that we can change through your legal interventions where I come from as a social worker as a social justice Advocate is if we can find a way into in as many settings as possible whether it’s through schools to church through parenting more and more attention helping people to learn about respectful relationships where people know what it means to be respectful and where we pay attention to our own sense of authentic needs and our own awareness of other people’s authentic needs it would seem to me that it would be hard to be abusive if people had that mindset of that training of respected authenticity and what that is going to require is first of all finding way to increase people’s tolerance to talk about sex make it so that it’s not so we talk about when we were in the Rated-R when were joking but something we could literally talk about healthy sexuality healthy needs our bodies and the reality that sexuality is part of a healthy relationship to get that in secondly just talked about and begin to have a way where people can have sexuality across the Spectrum and it’s there’s not a right way and a wrong way to be so that we can factor in all the multiplicity and diversity of how people have sexual expression to begin to teach people the communication skills to talk and non-verbally I in ways that are fancy in ways we don’t have to censor in ways that we don’t have to chew and that’s going to really help us to know when things are consenting and when they’re not when we’re really able to listen and talk openly so for my vantage point that could really be something that the intervention could start at home with parents are School teachers churches in youth groups in an adult education begin to do some of that could make a difference to do it and would make would make a job somewhere I’m sorry I hope we can continue to find ways right now the legal matters are in so many places teachers are restricted from talking about these kinds of things parents don’t want to deal with these kind of things churches have value judgments to preclude you from addressing these issues we have the legal right to back off and those restrictions and there was Prohibition and opening up and it really encouraging people I’m shocked it justifiable think if we can build relationships with those in our lives are close to and it’s safe to text more likely this someone is the victim of some kind of sexual trauma they might actually feel safe enough to step forward and say something happened to me where is right now too many people are afraid to approach somebody and even open that disclosure chili people realize something’s going on in there afraid to ask what happened you tell me what’s going on right now with these numbers being so prevalent it really it just begs the question are we is there some either deeply Insidious kind of conspiracy or maybe just threw Folly and we’re just really negligent and really ignorant or we are succumbing to really highly sophisticated intelligent mechanisms of of brainwashing or propaganda whatever it is but this but it’s like they’re the numbers don’t lie and in the numbers are only getting more staggering and worse meet you to always indicating that there’s a large percentage of people who are not reporting incidents but if the reporting of incidents has been the high-level then you know that leave so many in the shadow and it’s like we are again to go with that sort of public health model it is if we were creating conditions conducive to Mastiff rat populations you know we would and then we were having oh yeah you know that one in four one and six people have the Bubonic plague still because the snake population is down because there’s so many factors in in in the cultural design and what not and I totally agree with you it could be easily precluded by just solving solving the problem of people not knowing what to do with their sexual energy and a consensual and helping out of so-so under under the I mean I guess it’s not really useful to call him Predators it doesn’t really help it’s not I mean it can be I don’t know how we’re going to involve the approach a radical approach to really the Redemption of the perpetrators but I know there’s an organization called The Virtuous pedophiles have you heard about me today’s one about the perpetrators America still is a culture that’s dealing with issues from legal legal perspective other places so I can be in one serving of being another they are dealing with the offenders the perpetrators in ways that are trying to help them heal and overcome we do it through punishment with do for dinner and sex register for the rest of your life so we’re really not addressing the change or the process and I hope we can move more towards the models at some other countries are doing are you actually are trying to treat sexual offenders and change the issue so that those people can turn their lives around as well that’s going to make a huge difference the other thing I think it’s important to realize in this it’s hard right now because we’re being better at identifying sexual trauma so more people are stuck in storage so it may appear that the issue is getting worse we’re in some regards it may just be at the reporting is getting more accurate and what I can say optimism working with this issue for as many years as I have almost all the clients that I worked with over the years to come for help you come for a weekend they are the most incredible advocates for stopping the cycle and there was too many of them are wonderful parents are wonderful adults and they are out there soldiers trying to change the world and protect children and turn this around when you think about all the people coming in for therapy for mental health services all the people coming to rape recovery centers all the people come in Shore weekend each one of them is out there the Army is getting bigger and bigger of people who are so invested in wanting to turn this around one by one there too so I don’t know if the public sees that in the same way but there sure are a lot of feet on the ground of people who with their own children their own families their own partner they’re making a huge difference because they are aware these issues they are aware of the Dynamics they’re very alert to do it and they speak up when they see it in their lives without there is so many people who are survivors become helpers who is it helping professions and are using their time and energy to change the world an extra card show eye stye I’m an option is survey feel like a lot is happening a lot is changing I don’t know if it’s showing up yet because the reporting is becoming more and more open so it’s up here is that it’s spreading where it may I see in some ways we’re returning the return the ship around and really changing a I just don’t know if it’s showing up as much and even some of the movies in video presentations are now we’re talking about people who chew and changing our lives becoming successful in their efforts to recover from the trauma that even is a message of Hope and inspiration for dealing with this issue yeah I’m glad I’m glad you mentioned that it is a very important kind of statistical sociological phenomenon to two to go over which is at yeah it may be that we’re just getting better at the reporting becoming more aware and then actually has the more the more aware of it we we become a staggering but also give me know where once we have these like you said kind of what you know maybe the word would be early early onset triggers or or just a disproportionate well if you are a remorseless empathetic perpetrator it’s going to get harder and harder to get away with it cuz people are becoming more educated in literate and aware so that’s a good thing and then don’t work people who feel like they have a compulsion that they can get help for there will be more space for compassionate acceptance of the thing at this order and there will be more I mean right now there’s this sort of need your posturing oh yeah we would just what we eat we should just kill them all and you know that’s that’s cuz they don’t have a real solution will going to be somehow we are permitted which I don’t see that happening soon in this reality then there’s going to have to be more more proactive research and solution on that note where are you at personally or and within you know that the more than a seasoned veteran colleagues of yours at with really that what you could call in a word that fancy word pathogenesis where we know the cycle has been perpetuated cascading through generations especially in families with a full-on incest and where it’s just straight-up you’re going to be you know impregnated by somebody of your can and that’s just how this town works I mean that’s very deeply Doug in very almost at the DNA level of replicating down Athleta bloodline but there’s also the epigenetic sort of cultural what’s the word I mean I guess you could say it’s the way it’s just that it’s just taking for granted that we see it as a cycle almost like a biological parasite life cycle where it is propagates you know if you have if you have lice and in the in the in the Linens you know it’s going to continue to propagate as long as the conditions are conducive to the that lights being able to to to repopulate going down the lines but you know to break that cycle in to intervene we’re going to have to have a deeper understanding of its mechanism so with a proactive approach to the perpetrators what would you say are some are there any new ground-breaking research are there any new teams of researchers and Scholars who are who are volunteer perpetrators who are willing to be studied like pedophiles I’m sure they would be happy volunteer this in some some you know in a think tank or research facility is dedicated to why is this happening where is it coming from I think I think you’re gay the best way I can answer kind of what you were just saying I think we have to Canada and Germany get are two places that I feel like we’re doing a better job list we have 2 as we’re working with people who are offenders begin to take more time to stop and listen and stop and ask them if they’re in there too so that we can understand their dynamics of how of how boundaries. Cross how much should I charge was intentional how much it was kind of sexual preference victim was etcetera etcetera because I think we jumped in our culture does is so often we begin to form stereotypes of who people are and then we begin to put people into these boxes that we can begin to get these pictures but they may not always be true in terms of being the profile of the people where the offenders and so we need to understand the circumstances didn’t read it happened I think two examples where I see that beginning to happen is that I think colleges are beginning to and some places to look at how it is the campus sexual assault is happening in campus cultures in fraternities and sororities in campus what is it about those cultures that are allowing inbreeding people to have sexual assault be such a prominent feature so then we can know how to intervene and how to do this stuff to turn that around and throw them just jumping in and again criminalizing or bouncing on the people the offenders backing up and send what is the contextual what is the cultural what is the Environmental features that are allowing that. environment you existed for to get past dinosaur editable the military is another place military culture is really taking very seriously the issue of sexual assault and beginning to take on what are the circumstances that allow on people in the military to be sexually assaulted so that can be turned around and changed and do we have so it’s kind of finding a balance between attending to the people who are victimized beginning to work on how to protect them how to help them heal at the same time working at how does that even occur what is it what are the environmental features that she perpetuating so that can be turned around and I think the military and some of the college campus were going to have some success with that way of looking at it could be extended I wish you looked at as a whole culture I would have the breeding grounds and what are the features allowed to continue right yes very very well said and I agree with that said you were a bit more about Canada and Progressive in their approaches to harm reduction probably and I don’t mean to lump them together but just for purposes of this to talk about it one of the things that they’re both doing is taking your approach to whoever is an offender needs help to and then where in Canada specifically it should be possible to work your way off your offender registry and become a functional citizen of the culture again rather than saying now you’ve had this offense that you’re cooked and there’s no hope for you and beginning to go through Visual and written and spoken ways you can to educate the culture about what are the queues is something may someone may be getting a danger or something maybe your baby happening so we should we could be doing more of those kinds of things here you’re Classic example that we kind of have missed for example with a with a Catholic priest abuse that happened is how often an adult priest would become overly involved with a young child and him say they’ve even come to the parents house for dinner go up be the shooter up in the bedroom with the child ER take the kids camping all the timer to 7:01 would be asking why is this still hanging out all the time with children where are there adult relationships and someone might be coming in and out of the house and we don’t even ask what strength is trip charges for example when you realize that there’s somebody who you actually probably seeing the inappropriately sexual with somebody and you don’t say anything to them to stop at so it doesn’t happen again that’s just part of what happens in the fraternity about we try our backs and ignore those kind of things in a different than how we need to do with a lot of social justice issues it how often do we hear a racist comment anything which send check for the whole context were some of the things that are playing on their culture on racism how many times do people witness homophobic, your behavior is not say anything or not do anything which where where does his cross the line without contributing to bullying and harming someone we have a way that we turn our backs and don’t listen to those things that other people on the receiving end of it are acculturated if you like what I deserve that were yeah that’s just what happens because of my my status as what you whatever it is that puts me on the receiving end did you see how many times when I’m working with them with men who have been sexually traumatized and whenever there is an it happened whether it was as a child or as an adult at the time they may have said well I just deserve this or this is just what happens and where they don’t initially even say to something that was catarang they could do everything about what that’s what happens you and it’s really amazing that people can be acculturated to believe that being assaulted is something that you deserved it what is just what happens yeah it’s it’s scary and sad how the compounding trauma of being to preserve the Integrity of the family ego there’s a conspiracy among Stephen the mother is in the siblings and whoever else just to keep somebody silence and tell him they’re crazy or a liar they made it up or that they pour that they deserved it or I mean I heard recently A friend of mine who went to heinous abuse as a child and just the way the cognitive dissonance of the the culture of the family in the church group whatever I mean Aiden said something it was her grandfather who had molested a whole batch of children across multiple families all interesting do you know this guy in In-N-Out and I heard that or she said that’s what her mother said to her about what I guess with the restorative what would you call it the the Paradigm relief of birth of the mothers who would be responsible for their own children was that they would scold they would tell the children oh well you were jumping and playing on his lap you were turning him on you and or oh you know how he is you shouldn’t have been playing in his lap because you were teasing and basically say he impugned for easing the crotch of a adult man if you were a Chinese child I mean that’s but that’s how they and then they just in the interest it was interesting and I won’t even say the demographic it was a pattern that you could have zerve which is that old men are just considered kind of like it’s it’s just kind of their nature to be predatory so it’s kind of goes without saying that that well you better you better keep your guard up all the time but we’re not really going to police them we’re just going to just sort of cope with I don’t know just sort of them adapt adapting to this fact of life that that then there are just or just Scoundrels and especially if they get drunk they’re going to just so just better you better watch out and if you get it and it happens to you then you know we warned you or some someone should have warned you but now you know and you learned your lesson so don’t complain anymore if you know crazy but we have we have we have a tendency to do a lot of victim-blaming the classic thing that we’ve heard so often with females wear if you wouldn’t have been wearing that short skirt that wouldn’t have happened so the person’s short skirt is more the issue than the person who advantage of the person another victim blaming is gay people have been kind of lame because while you if you should’ve been provoking people you shouldn’t have been coming on that way you kind of responsible for being bullied because if you don’t behave yourself or you don’t suck it up and how often we’ve gay people are grown up thank you that’s just what happens if you’re gay you’re going to get hurt you’re going to get bullied on a rather than holding people accountable who are the boys we have never called you that I can’t do that that’s what I see so so wonderfully with the clients who I have worked with over the years in the manner comes our weekend is it so many most of them almost all them go away so committed that they want to find ways to work on their own issues so that they don’t forget switch how to beat a person how many of them become better Partners in their relationships how many of them become better fathers if they have children how many of them become more committed to doing things that are going to promote sound goodness and compassion the culture in it’s so neat to see people who come in one way and turn that around as they get help and go out really transformed to be able to be different people put out different energy and contribute to me that’s why I work at the end of the continue I do with the victim offenders could I see so much hope and promise and all those people that are being different in the world and changing the places where they circulate where they live awesome yeah well yeah it was probably good to say thank you for allowing me to kind of vent a little bit so box in MN to get some good feedback and be a sounding board and I’m very just this is it’s just the beginning for me to kind of reach out into the more into you or the space that you’re and I’ve been very much in the esoteric very friends kind of Realms of alternative approaches to this but I want to I’m going to need to kind of network and Bridge build and Coalition build with folks who are really holding up a more general you know open kind of framework for this so I really appreciate this this for me very pivotal moments at to start this dialogue personally and give it a few more minutes if some more of the hopeful I had a I guess that we could be good to give you time to the extent of elaborate on what you feel is no more to positive outcomes and that the Horizon 4 for the organization and also maybe some of the outline is the retreat in case folks want to start to engage in connect with that and just listen to podcast down if you are a Survivor if you have a loved one so many Network for Wiz to check out our weekends recovery and just really briefly here for purpose I were open to anyone 18 or older who has experienced any kind of sexual trauma either his child or an adult and we have people we’ve had people as old as 60 70 80 here come the door just first addressing the issue they haven’t addressed to before and the night sweats never too late it’s okay to get help at any point we have people coming in her early twenties and when is this nice about the weekends is when we have a spectrum of Ages and diversity in terms of Lifestyle issues of people bring they really learn from each other and they really ISO wrist have to put this different points in the younger people are inspired by the older people all the older people are inspired by the younger people in these kinds of ways to give people the reason the resilience to keep going on and what we do in the weekend is we work on everybody being involved in helping to set the safety guidelines for a weekend together and then threw a mixture of small group and large group activities we wave through learning mindfulness skills we work on helping people deal with grief which other Narrative of what happened to them and be heard we talked about building relationships where the people can trust and be with man we build in Civ physical activity for people to begin to maybe discover some things about nature in their own body we do some play time together cuz so many people who have head trauma have learned that life so seriously can’t find enjoy it would really help to build some networking between people they can take with them be on the weekends and a lot of people go through the weekend maintain contact with others from the weekend and they go back to their home community and even start a support group thing of extends the networking there we do a lot of attention on mindfulness happy cheap will learn skills for self-awareness and managing aspects of their life and lots of good feedback about how it’s is a powerful healing experiencing our weekend are small enough 28 man at the maximum and what is like if you’re a male Survivor to walk into a room and everybody else in their room share something about your experience that is life-changing for a lot of people cuz they may never have seen another man who openly said this happened to meet you so it’s very rewarding work to do it’s incredibly powerful to see that she was going to turn around as soon as the men have just in 3 days wow that’s that sounds amazing and so that’s how often does it happen this year were only doing the one weekend and outside in August it’s August 11th to 13th and Sunday we are program we generally do more we just doing one this year. We we usually do 3 to 4 level ones and then one Advanced every year and our Advanced is open to anybody who’s come to a level one before and what’s interesting about our advanced level which is always also done in Utah it’s a little bit longer than 2 hours longer and we usually build in some kind of a steam we grab it or we rotate between empowerment where do a lot of body work and every other year with your relationship Focus were people can come a single or they can bring a partner through the relationship and just focus on how to be in a relationship work on relationship Dynamics we have a similar weekend retreat for female survivors and we have partnered in done that where we do mixed-gender against several weekends and I’m experiment with that someone’s level ones as we go forward into future of having men and women who have been survivors share the space into healing together awesome great well yeah do you have any final words or thoughts or do you want to share the website thanks again and in just any other contact info for this year the website link is just go to mail Survivor. Org we are going to be changing some things about our program moving and try next year is correct but if you do a web search for weekends recovery is still real to find us will have a new website set up by sometime later this summer and if anyone needs to just my name Jim strube Jim struve you can look for my website and find me through that it’s just Ruby. Com not have a lot of resources at my website as well I’m a Survivor has a lot of resources there and linkages to other organizations that are doing work as a number of the groups around the country somewhere programming in survivors so anyone who’s out there it’s never too late change is possible and taglines theme we have for a weekends is dare to dream awesome you know I just I realize that you probably have one little last question for you if you don’t mind and it’s kind of a I don’t know I said maybe someday it’ll be sort of his the survivors dilemma or some of something typically men are in the closet the dirtiest ee in the closet if they feel that they’re coming out as a Survivor I think it is right when I came out as the Survivor it was a it’s it’s a real burden it’s a real burden because it’s a do you want to always be given that that what do you call it a I will for one I don’t like to put the imagery of what happened to me in anyone else’s mind feeling or shame feeling that you know she is coming out then you you do and I think that’s why families try to shame it so much as they just ate it’s it’s impolite if you know and if they at the Garden Party to talk about any of these things are sort of the atmosphere with the truth of what’s happening so we just let it happen but we covered all that but I guess the question some men do not want to come out as survivors because they fear that people will think that they work that they are now they’re gay and so does homophobia it’s more difficult for men to come out because of that stigma of the fear of being homophobic and there’s other year of being now that don’t they will be suspicion that you will be able to know what the clinical term is but a Survivor offender or what would you call it if you were the in these unfortunate cases and then you’re not healed you’re not getting support and you would become a a perpetrator yourself that if you don’t lose that Bergen and anxiety and then there’s also a third factor that I feel like his kept me from coming out fully even to the to the to this community to this mail to Everett Community ice you’ll still afraid of men I don’t want other men who are having this way been hacked and compromise to know about me p.m. to you know I still I still fear the the jokes about the you know that you don’t want to know if it’s not going to go to a few AA ttsd retreat in Vietnam it’s to me it’s it’s a it’s a threshold to feel comfortable around it’s it’s a it’s a weird inverted kind of thing words you should feel all we were all we all suffered the same thing and therefore we can have solidarity and and sort of them Fellowship run that but then I also feel that because I kind of have my own suspicions about other people who may be aren’t doing the however far along they are in their path it’s it’s it’s a it’s a pesos do you know anything has to be everyone’s in a different state of dealing with it and and I guess you know the question is is there are there mechanisms in place within your organization specifically or within the sort of Coalition of it where they say there’s a Survivor who’s really creepy or really kind of maybe they’re not all there maybe they could be still harmful big day could already be Survivor offenders obviously there needs to be spaced held for them to they were to say that they need help or that they don’t know what to do with the same way if there’s a lot of overlap so in order for me to feel safe in those environments and even to post on Facebook groups and stuff I I don’t know I don’t want to become an object of affection for someone who’s really kind of become the gremlin you know what I mean so I don’t know if that makes any sense at all but it’s sort of a come completion of these factors to be I don’t want to go with all the other survivors are known as what if there’s a bunch of perpetrators there and I guess that’s right that’s why I think it’s so valuable to seek how to ask for help start with a therapist word saved and then we can be honest about our fear as we could be honest about her biases would be honest about the issues that were having and then be able to find a reputable organization like our weekends recovery we have a good track record where we are being transparent about protecting the safety of the people that come so that we can then put ourselves in settings where we can share share share our biases and then the ultimate goal is to be able to expand our capacity to be able to be authentic and be open and being open and authentic it’s talking to protect us from other people’s Prejudice not going to protect us from some of those things in the world but if we can find her on solid Nest then we don’t have to hide we can we can deal with those issues as they come up and we can even deal with somebody who made for sure but they are triggers and we can either go week we have to realize first of all that something was done to us we didn’t do something something was done to us if we’ve been sexually assaulted and that by coming out of being transparent we don’t have to share any of the details it’s more we can just say I am a survivor it’s our business whether we want to say anything more about what that means some people shower stories some people just say I’m a Survivor but that needs to be a very individual decision to do it where I really it’s hard to look at secret so I think there’s some Freedom if we are a sexual assault Survivor to be able to say that out loud and to have it there without searing without secrets in I know I’m a Survivor myself I realized it by just being able to say that and in the context of all the work I am doing here how much it makes a difference to see I’m a Survivor and look at how functional my life isn’t how much I’m doing it doesn’t have to be a detriment it doesn’t have to be a star it we can find our own way to contribute whatever way we want it makes a difference when we have to keep it a secret we have to be in fear verses when we can be authentic and honest that is a great note fiance and I know I’m here I’m feeling the sense that you know positive role modeling of survivors for survivors will be the way that the survivors who are maybe I mean like you’re in an allergy would be in 12-step group way they’re not sure they still may feel completely possessed and they have no agency what is happening to them and through them and so I guess I guess I guess you have a solution as you’re saying very clearly create a real-life role modeling kind of 69 weekends we have a very large community of people who are learning how to be compassionate are learning how to overcome their fears of the stereotypes and are demonstrating that being a Survivor doesn’t have to be a permanent noose around your neck that you can live a thriving compassion Wonderful Life and sometimes even more compassionate because you know I hear from the women in my life who I have relations with that I’ve never even with the man who so open-hearted and compassionate and present and careful and ask me about my boundaries and my history and it said it does you know yeah there’s a there’s that that that that irony of of of having is having more sensitive if you are thank you for having me and thank you to all the listeners I hope this is been valuable than welcome any feedback or inquiries from anyone who’s listening Austin well thank you so much Jen I really appreciate you taking the time for this and yeah I will definitely be in touch and I’ll let you know as soon as that this is published and hopefully we can keep in touch tank sticker I buy thank you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition of sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com