Monthly Archives: June 2017

Understanding Sexual Shamanism with Kenneth Ray Stubbs PhD TTP115


Kenneth Ray Stubbs pic

In this episode I’m joined by Kenneth Ray Stubbs PhD, one of the most distinguished and accomplished elders in the field of sacred sexuality and sexual shamanism. His no-nonsense approach to teaching the energetics of shamanic healing is very compelling. It was a blessing to be able to explore his unique perspectives and stock up on new highly effective practical, theoretical, and analytical tools that I haven’t found elsewhere in the field.

About Kenneth:
In 1975 Ray began teaching erotic massage to people of all sexual orientations in San Francisco. His 1989 Erotic Massage — the Touch of Love book was the first instructional book to illustrate genital massage and has sold over a million copies worldwide.

He has taught many somatic modalities and has written/created over a dozen books and DVDs on sacred sexuality including Women of the Light: The New Sacred Prostitute, Sacred Orgasms, and The Essential Tantra. He also co-created the 90-minute documentary The Sacred Prostitute and a recent documentary, Path of the Sexual Shaman: Teachings on Energy, Orgasm, and Wisdom. Ray is the former vice-president of the Association of Sexual Energy Professionals.

On a shamanic path for over two decades, Ray is a 13-year SunDancer and has been greatly influenced by Tibetan Buddhism.

Via Skype and the phone, he now gives individual sessions and trainings on energy, sexuality, shamanism, and transformation.

He can be reached at

Intro to Permaculture and Ecological Design TPP114


Yantra Garden picIn this episode I share a recording of a recent introduction to permaculture talk I gave at the grand opening of a new home scale goddess temple where I have been working with a team of dear friends to design and install gardens and ecosystemic designs.   In the talk I combine guided meditation with an exploration of some of the basic philosophies and principles and key terms taught in the permaculture design system.


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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear beloved podcast episode number 114 this episode is a recording of a lecture I gave recently it was a permaculture design introduction talk that I gave at a a new permaculture goddess temple in the works that I’m helping to co-develop with some dear friends and that should be the home of quite a number of really exciting activities and programs and projects so more will be forthcoming on that but I thought I would share this with the podcast listeners it’s really most of my day job and clean green Prana energy comes from and where the way that I’m able to stay positive and hopeful and connected to Gaia and really recharge and reconnect and this is just a really kind of meditative reverie exploring the philosophies and the science and mechanics of permaculture from a broad stroke perspective and I hope you enjoy them also going to end with the inclusion of a poem I wrote several years ago which is kind of been to the guiding pass the groove that I carved out and intentionally to to be on and it’s cuz the poem called permaculture goddess Temple so I hope you enjoy your stay before change the overhead does anyone want to talk about what comes to mind when they hear that word I say that word New Guinea it is that exactly definition keywords best films haikus so it’s actually a contraction it’s kind of like a clever marketing Instagram like instant or whatever that would be its permanent culture permanent agriculture does are two different interchangeable sort of ways of looking at it. The founder came up with back in the mid-seventies early to mid-seventies in Australia little bit about 2 or so there was a beautiful man whose name was Bill Mollison he passed away not too long ago and so I have a moment of silence to thank him for putting all this body of this body work together may you rest in peace but not for too long cuz you needed to come back and yeah in the next life so there’s many things to say about Bill Mollison he was definitely a head of course the vibration a lot of people would say he was a prickly pear he likes to push people’s buttons and get under the skin and really agitate people’s assumptions about everything about the way we grow food the way we were late to the land the way we use resources and build physical structures and economic systems political systems he is very critical and he learned that I’d stay here in the right to be very critical because he works he was a logger so he spent a lot of time destroyer in the forest and got to be intimately aware of how destructive that that practice was and he worked as a naturalist he was a professor he has he had an amazing woman that’s just the tip of the iceberg his level of particular study of the natural world is really unmatched I think by almost anyone else so he definitely has put in the hours to to have the strong opinions and the without going too much into his personal life story that the real take home about his life’s work that led to the development of this teaching program called permaculture design it was really his understanding that the simplest most glaring most disastrous sort of inescapable fact of what’s wrong with just the food system agricultural food system right it’s it’s I’m going to I’m going to help us I’m going to guide us to that realization the same realization that you know that he came to that he has popularized through his words and it’s nice to take this journey in the form of the meditation so if you close your eyes and just drop into your body a bit and take some deep breaths in through the nose out through the mouth taking your time feeling a breath go deep into the the deli you can even put your hand on on your belly to feel the belly expand as the the Deep regrets get is as far as they can and just anchor yourself into your observation into the smells the sounds of the environment that were surrounded by and even internal Sensations intuitions visions there’s so many different visitor information and we can pay attention to helps to drop into the meditative state to be able to start to explore the inner and outer environments this is a one of the key instruments in the permaculture design system is to enter a meditative state to observe and we’ll talk more about that later but what I want to set up in your imagination in your mind’s eye is a juxtaposition of imagery on one side you can pick the side doesn’t matter which side but can one side of your cinematic display your theater of imagination conjure the images of modern industrial agriculture factory farm cafo operations Mass fields of just one single crop being grown for one cycle of production in replanting on an annual basis you have this very highly program systematized mechanized chemicalize human engineered system that is our modern so-called conventional IE not traditional and not organic the conventional way of farming in the modern world based on chemical fertilizers chemical pesticides herbicides and machine and animal labor mostly and also slave labor and that’s a really desolate landscape a degrading landscape is constantly being depleted and is ultimately turn into a sterile functionally sterile desert that is the non-regenerative unsustainable and very recent very patriarchal pattern of forcing the will of mechanized production onto a landscape with a certain set of intentions that will will will ponder the intentions later but for now it’s just really the sink into that imagery this concentration camp of mechanized control where everything originally on the landscape is displaced there’s no competition allowed there can be no other forms of life in this entire agricultural landscape that isn’t allowed so there’s Spencer’s up. Poisons there’s traps there’s just the thoughtless careless destruction of all life and habitats by trucks and airplanes and machines and even the sound pollution with save all the different machines at work creating this hellish environment that’s where our food comes from and if you look at the esoteric side of that or the the so-called spiritual side of that there’s also the implications of what does vibrations of pain and suffering how those affect the atomic structure is the Quantum building blocks of the food that we consume so I invite you to breathe that out that’s a really kind of polluted gnarly funky 5222 whole your mind’s eye and just sort of exhale that out Excel that toxic experience out and no turn to the opposite side in your mind’s eye and we’re going to be like Bob Ross and we’re going to paint and natural landscape where we’re going to discover a few things together so some happy trees and I’m so glad this isn’t skipping a generation you you’re getting a mean so much to me an idea I want us to live in ecological Landscapes that Bob Ross himself to assist your heart with his rendered for us as the landscape design Architects oh if we look at a natural ecosystem on the land would say where there is Bluegrass some open Prairie type gland some ponds and lakes and streams and rivers and just the zoom out as far as you have to in your mind’s eye to be able to get a really good picture of mountains and valleys in river deltas and all these different unique overlapping systems within systems all functioning without any human intervention or perhaps with indigenous traditional human intervention it’s almost invisible you wouldn’t even know that it’s being tended or garden because it looks so wild and so natural and so on an ordered so on programming so wild and I’m free and resilient soap if we sin of zoom in now from having taken in that larger expansive a snapshot of nature functioning on its own we can observe a number of very important functional system elements that we can start to apply to the damage Landscapes that were inheriting in the modern world of post industrial chemical agriculture we can actually start taking that Bob Ross Bob Ross brush and and paint some of those systems back onto and graft and borrow from the functioning natural systems borrow the deprince the engineering principles more than you know some of the seeds some of the wildcrafted herbs in one pot but but we want to leave while nature it is an indigenous maintain wild natural ends as intact as possible but we can just understand it spend time studying it and we can actually begin to repair what was on the other side so does anyone want to describe what some of the things that come out into the Mind’s Eye when you look at when you zoom in to the point where a grassland or a prairie begins to transition into a woodland for a forest what does that look like in your mind’s eye anyone Bueller damn you said a magic word in there but I’m going to come back to us so thank you anyway any other observations about this history of from overlapping transition between the grassland and the Woodland the people involved these are people coming together creating a new land using the old resources into the year black people any other thoughts are observations about this this world we’re looking at contrast the Shadows face so the magic word that was spoken and thank you for all those brush Strokes the magic word that was spoken that to one of the most important keywords in the permaculture design system is that weird Edge and in this context it’s used to draw attention to that point of transition between two different types of ecosystem sometimes you’ll hear this called biomes or ecotone there’s different ecology ecological scientific terms and pick that are used get too much into detail on those but the more broad concept is that as a rule as a a constant in nature you’re pretty much always guaranteed to see a higher density of life-forms mostly cooperating together to create conditions conducive to more life so let’s life’s mission statement is exemplified in his Edge zones where you see a maximum density does beneficial interrelationships wear some species that require shade or being shaded by species that have brought her leave but safe so there’s also a species that require certain elements to be in the soil that they can’t get by any other means they have to cuddle up two species that would provide that and also all of the different Dynamics within the soil and the Dynamics of pests in predator and prey consumers decomposers and producers so many different interacting relationships and more of those relationships are happening where that grasslands meets the forest and you have a sort of diagonal tapering gradient effect going from the ground up to the trees and so now I’m going to zoom in even closer in an essay There’s an opportunity or equal in inches that cluster at these Edge zones for example Vines can grow up there’s still sunlight hitting that outer edge of the forest but once you get into that Forest it’s mostly shaded out so there’s very little of growing on the forest floor because the taller upper canopy of the trees is pretty much consuming all the sunlight and you occasionally see little glaives openings in Forest systems where you’ll see light coming in in life starting over the new little little little system of edges is coming together so you know next time you’re out in the in the wilderness you see what it looks like to be a cluster of Life standing out in the landscape it could be a low point in a valley a low point in a canyon where you see well it’s totally green resolve Lush where there’s a trickle of water to sustain in a year-round there’s lots of that around Southern California and you can see that oh well there is an opportunity for multiple like infinite potential diverse interactions among species that are meeting at these edges so that’s the polar opposite of what we have become accustomed to in this industrial agricultural model and you know if we put if we put our childlike inquisitive curious minds to it we might actually shed the blind assumptions in the Serta zombie-like acceptance of well anything technological better anything human engineer to Superior whatever is in the man says is the way it’s got to be if we just in the state of meditation find it easier to just question gently question what’s wrong with this picture what’s wrong with how the commercialized agricultural Industries have I sort of completely lost the ability to understand how biological production happens on Earth so here’s a simpler way to kind of make a joke out of it so does it does a forest need people to come out and fertilize it I know right somehow it fertilizes itself does it need people to come out and water it with irrigation or does it somehow manage and maintain moisture levels sufficient to stay hydrated in Grove times of life I mean very dense High productive life no no no fertilizer no irrigation does it need people to come out and plant it to constantly manage it to pull weeds in to make sure that everything grows by standing over it and fighting off all the birds and all the critters to keep them from eating the seeds in from ruining your garden or attacking your basal or whatever you know no it just magically it’s the essence of the forest building nature of our planet that foresting nature of our planet figured out how to intelligently dare I say consciously Pole from these abundant resources sunlight moisture the minerals in the soil the decaying organic material in the soil and to create a symphony and Orchestra of potentially infinite stacked layers of species all ultimately creating a balance within that analogy is used riding a bike at 6 it’s resilient it’s constantly responding to weather changes and droughts and floods and all these different changing parameters but on the whole it’s very resilient and of course if we were to measure what’s called biomass measure the weight of the biomass of that wild forest ecosystem and compare it to a cornfield which is going to win which is going to be heavier in production it’s the national forest ecosystem in part of the reason for that there’s a few things I’ll break it down you know but part of the reason for that one I’ll just list a few but few points of way white how is that possible why is that well the forest is stacking layers vertically it’s not just one single tree crop is not an orchard is not a Orchard or just one single type of tree is not a it’s not a field of one bean or grain perceived it’s not to a patch of a certain type of lettuce that is only one species in an entire massive ecosystem which has the potential to capture how much sunlight so verdict the vertical trellising the way that nature makes you Civ the aspect of the way the sun comes down and it’s in his before in his to ground it it it consumes life will eat up and consume as much of that sunlight is it possibly can and it will grow on top of and an intertwining entangle and fueled this Stairway to Heaven together in this beautiful Orchestra and Symphony of a corporation in order to maximize the potential for life so the vertical aspect of important the other another aspect is at it’s not just producing one vegetable or fruit or sieved Etc product one time in a year to then be tilled in be stagnant there’s so many different interlocking layers they’re producing all of those things at staggered in different times throughout the year so you have multiple yields this is another key word in permaculture is the gold one of the goals is to always obtain a yield so the yield the weight of one annual production of what’s a corn from a monoculture monoculture meaning one plant on the Landscaping plan to it’s very little it has very little weight because it’s only happening once a year it’s only one story high and it’s only one plant which makes it susceptible to pest makes it an easy target and pest can invade with no obstruction from other plants that provide shelter other beneficial natural predators that would be the the natural predators of the pets so that they will be kept in Balance so when you strip away all of those layers of natural wisdom in the forest ecosystem you have this prison camp for life that is very unsustainable it’s not resilient it does not produce high yields it only it only really is successful at one thing and I’ll I’ll ask for your help to to figure out what that thing is so if a force production system is producing all of this abundant diversity for who what everybody all life who joins in the party than the potluck doing cleaner part doing their role doing the work they need to do you know the worms are turning the soil over in a very elegant very energy efficient manner humans can be scattering seeds when they eat something and then they do the thing you know a little further down always extending the forest birds are dropping phosphorus and key locations where they post up and so on and so on everyone is has a duty plays a role and gets plenty in in in in most cases and if there is a shift in the climate shifts in the weather shifts in the level of moisture it’s adaptable because there’s so much so much flexibility in that system so now if you Nature’s intention is to create free food for everything everyone who pulls your weed gets to be fed in the commercialize industrial food system that we were exploring earlier what’s the intention of that system anyone bright to be able to limit access and and Stack Up The Benjamins to be able to have private proprietary ownership and to deprive human beings of the free access to food to deprive all life from Nature’s ever productive abundance that’s free or it comes it at a price that’s affordable in an average Ford a 4 hour a day maximum typical gather hunt wave of living landscape or no more vegan friendly if you will the the Horticultural societies that are growing food there they’re not toiling to do it there working with the natural systems in a lot of those cultures you can’t even tell it doesn’t look like what we think of as a farm is not a grid it’s more of a jungle and we’re just adding to the Natural system and we’re not getting along and we’re we’re choosing the species in our Gardens that favor us but don’t disrupt or fundamentally undermine the wisdom of how these systems work how they have been optimized for three and a half at least billion years of life figuring out how to make the best use of the mineral is the sun the water Etc so what permaculture design offers us bring it back to the founder Bill Mollison and his assistant David Holmgren they put forth a thesis in the 1970s after doing rigorous research and study the simple aha moment of Revelations that in a word what we need to be doing if we want to reverse-engineer the abundance of that wild ecosystem of course we need to change our politics and economics so that the will to have Equitable food supply and food security is more powerful than the denominator patriarchal capitalist Pig so I take that back so you have to ship the social structures in and in the thinking around his stuff of course and that’s you know a lot of people are working on those kind of movements but there’s a scientific mechanical technical subtlety that a lot of people trying to change the world have overlooked which is this sort of secret well send it it’s when we look at it and it has a revelation that we see why this how do they keep the secret from us it’s such a no-brainer so the word the secret magic word is perennial perennial does anyone know what that word means in the context of Bring It On if it’s not a classic Botanical compared to what you know if you go to the Garden Center annuals and perennials sections right so does that narrow down is he going to want it what will arrive at it together so what is annual what does annual mean just has a word nearly right okay so exactly so perennial even if you don’t never heard the word before what could that possibly be in exactly it produces more than one year old weather within it typically it’s used to describe plants that are going to plant them once and they’re going to stay alive and just keep cranking and keep cranking keep cranking for decades if not hundreds if not thousands of years depending on the species so That’s The Sweet Spot that’s what I want to really set up as the introduction to what were what permaculture is is really the foundation of it that the core of it from which so many more layers of Revelation Revelation have have grown out of but this was the key it’s ridiculous to think of it as a discovery because you can see it everywhere mean we’re surrounded by perennials we just have been fooled and been duped to now put two and two together and connect the dots and say hey if we want free food for everybody forever we don’t need giant properties to grow giant fuels to feed ourselves in the Invictus was sort of the more of a a leftist red communist kind of hammer and sickle right we don’t need to control nature with tools and machines to that extent and so that the proletarian Revolution can happen and I’m not to get too political with the reason I bring it up is it taking a step back from mechanized agricultural thinking we can actually say you know what with with this sort of ecological origami that a forest does we can fold the entire forest ecosystem into a backyard and now will be a good time to open your eyes and see you know we have just the beginning of this is the sort of scaffolding for a food Forest that we’re going to be building here where we have all the different elements this is it a worm compost the beginning will have a more ornate more down to earth Clay Pot that will kind of drain the water through so we can so we can harvest the the fertility from it this is been going for quite a while already so it’s already pretty much ready to use so we’re going to start putting our food scraps into the system is they don’t like the light so I’m not going to bother too much but these are red red wiggler worms can use as fish bait so you can get them you can rescue them in a very Buddhist sense from the from the fishing store but yeah they do the work of breaking down all of our food scraps from the kitchen and do it in a very fast and efficient manner and they produce at a compost product that’s the most nutrient-dense of all almost all Campos products and you don’t have to you don’t like a lot of people have to make compost in the world just by turning that pile for days and days and days by hand fits a good workout but they’ll do that work for you while you sleep so again leveraging the intelligence of nature so we’re just going to set that up but so I guess I want to kind of map Ankara secure and speak through what we’ve got going on here and how an inmate be able to merge their systems right so let’s say this is this is LA this is the this is the rest of LA to we haven’t got to yet and this is the the part of it that we have been given permission by the people who overthrew the government of the system we want to live an abundant wild natural ecosystem that produces free food for everybody all the time so that we can spend more time swinging hammock sand writing music and singing songs and dancing and enjoying a star is in building beautiful cultures and living beautifully so now that we have that power we’re reclaiming the land and we’re starting this is what I do for a living for my day job I’m actually doing lawn makeovers front and back yard line makeovers almost every day of the week it’s it’s it’s a struggle to get people to want to grow mostly food but at least they’re planting native plants and they’re getting more drought tolerant plants but the first step to this makeover of reclaiming the power of the forest is to block out the weeds it’s not too bad right here but you’ll see over there be most if I believe this is one of Hitler’s final conspiracies now I don’t I can’t prove that but Bermuda grass is like this it’s almost like a collectible barbed wire but it’s a live I mean to I spend most of most of my work comes from removing the stuff and I know it has its place perfectly nestled into a natural system somewhere but I don’t know I don’t know I’ve never found it not to be you know they say rampageous but in order to actually accelerate the forest building process we have to block out these unsustainable unnatural mitomano call sharmaine a grass lawn is a monoculture like any other it’s if you could be a cornfield it’s actually yeah it’s actually it’s a lot of grasses that we’ve gone overboard with but you can have a line with multiple species of you know Clover and all kinds of different beneficial diverse low-growing vegetation that you can walk on and you can play games on you know and it’ll grow back even strawberries so this disconnected all be strawberries you know and we got some over there actually so from the ground up where we’re actually what this mulch is doing is actually mimicking the natural Leaf litter and did limbs dropping from a forest so you know if if we had that the right size chipper we will we will be actually repurposing these branches that we’ve that James still and he prune back recently we will be marching that up and actually this is like scab material there’s nowhere and nature unless it is a desert naturally where you’re going to see bare soil it’s always dressed up going wherever there’s any potential for it so we’re helping it along we’re borrowing some of the forest vegetation so we can mimic this effect and actually do what the forest does which is retain moisture deep in this there’s actual most and said once that every 3 in of forest floor routines one inch of water so basically it’s suspended in this fun this is such spongy material I mean okay you’re perfect so if you see the sun has dried out from whenever if it was the rain or if this was overflowing let’s just say there was a rain event and it looks like it’s all dried out but look look at all of that moisture that’s staying I mean it’s ridiculous so there’s no that’s why I tell Forest doesn’t this when you know you could have one rain get into a little pocket of this kind of mulch and months later it can grow seeds out of it because it has this storage tank of water just suspended in these fine carbonaceous materials that have dropped from above so what do they do and agricultural Farms when they take the crap they take they take the vegetable or whatever the the product is that they want to sell and then take everything out they don’t return there’s a lot of returns you have to return the stocks of the plants back you have to compost in place you have to let this scab I mean every bit making a gash they’re making an open wound and they’re taking away all the scab material so that’s why the conventional farming system it can only go for so long before they’ve completely destroyed the capacity of that soil to give life it goes from being soil which is moist and full of life to dirt witch is dead and but we can bring it back where rehabilitating the system now and then something to a simple kind of schematic that you can take away you know this was my favorite new my learning about it this way this is what got it for me cuz I actually I took workshops where we did sheet mulching and I learned about you know they call a natural accelerated succession show succession is just the cycle of of a forest doing its thing you know but we can apply our intelligence to speed up that process we can nature will make compost but it takes a lot longer just sitting in place you know getting moist and rotting and breaking down we can speed up the process by concentrating the efforts of nature without harming them like we’re making environments for life that are at least as good if not better than the wild state that there in like I like to design Habitat For Life where it doesn’t it thinks it’s just in Shangri-La Paradise it has it’s not in a cage is not feeling limited and I feel like it’s making a penny with a farm but give plenty of space to everything can you you know you have a more ethical way of of tending the wild but the schematic piece that’s a good imprint to take take home is there so many different kind of freestyling right now and flowing with it and the key words are coming up but there’s of the keywords that I mentioned maybe 5 to 10 so far there’s hundreds if not thousands in a book this thick they called the big black book is permaculture a designer’s manual and it’s the required reading the main textbook for the permaculture design course it is 72 hour course I should mention that it’s really a via call back up just a little bit so when David Holmgren and Grill Mollison really dialed-in this thesis about perennial agriculture where we should be thinking about growing plants that are producing frequently more than once one year at a time where we can let nature just drop and drop and drop and his bill. So every year of of a forest soil ecosystem the Year this all gets better on its own so what we shouldn’t have to be putting in mining minerals and pulling oil out of the ground creating fossil-fuel petrochemical fertilizers when if we just grew tree crops or even had rallies or rows of us a fruit or nut trees staggered in between our annual crops which were still going to grow annuals is nothing wrong with them but intermingling it’s polyculture is another key word so how do we go from Monaco sure to polyculture understanding perennials and bring it all together in a designer system the easiest way so there’s so much science in technical minutiae about it but the easiest way to say from this point on that you can see somebody to bus stop and and walk them through how we can save the world together in the in the park right behind you or whatever it is it’s easy things to point out so there’s seven layers vertical layers in a natural forest ecosystem if it breaks down a little bit more granularity if you had you know aquatic systems in a few factoring you know there’s there’s more it it’s kind of the chakras another seven major chakras and then there’s a bunch of the 72,000 natis and there’s a map that all different cultures it gets pretty ridiculous but not in a bad way but we stick to the seven layers for the purpose of this conversation state what happens can anyone think of a few types of food that grows underground potatoes carrots you got it so underground so you can take any more secrets of someone you can you know discover that there there root systems Going Underground and if we can make it productive you know productive to us edible to us useful to you know to feed animals or to feed ourselves we would consider that a root crop from the root layer of the system so that’s the very bottom below ground and then what are some plants that grow horizontally across the flat surface of the ground to actually a little bit ahead of the other. You’re ahead of us will get there but you’re also you’re also right but let’s think of things that are more kind of clustering like to go strawberries all the baby you hit it didn’t have the strawberries and basically sure you would call him creepers or prostrate plans through their species that are going to grow low lying and just cover kind of carpeting the surface so hit me on this is like creeping thyme as it is for the great example so if you were designing a garden you wanted to fill up space or mint is a good example things that will just grow across that so that’s the second so the herbaceous layer really it’s it’s non-woody plants that grow sideways and they don’t they don’t grow Vines and they don’t they don’t grow Woody lying areas and you have the shrub layer which is actually more like blueberries they grow kind of a Woody stem but they’re not giant trees or just want to bushes so there’s all kinds of a lot of berries grow like that so you’ve got that layer two layer of shrubs and affirm that you’ve got to the lower canopy which is you know let’s say there’s a the tallest ones in this whole system so these will be the lower the lower canopy trees which of these could all be a week we’re going to add more in here but will have lower lower canopy fruit tree Citrus nuts dried mulberries whatever avocados all those kind of fuse like some of those will in certain systems go very high up but that’s where you really get to put on your designers had his study and know what food crops that we like to eat that are beneficial to the ecosystem that are appropriate for the climate require minimal effort to sustain how can we fill in all these vertical Mitch’s and when I left out if any is is dividing their social Vining layer which is those species that will and to spiral and grow up things are gross feet or curb its pumpkins squashes cucumbers bikinis all those not family so if you can just you can close your eyes again or leave them open either way is fine but now when you’re at the grocery store from now on you can actually ask yourself what which of those seven layers does this food crop occupy you know and you can already start design designing it in your head or if you want I mean they’re certain there’s a lot of stuff from the store that you can just plant right it’s cheaper to buy tire plant stalk from the grocery store then it is to buy from a nursery green onions potatoes carrots even you know there’s okay if you’re still a living RuPaul on it and herbs with living roots on them so you can just cut the tops off plants him he’ll do better if you cut the greens off already and then plant them in and you can already start going with that so it’s a very of all the complexity that this could go into an understanding the very unique complex relationships invisible microscopic relationship in the soil that make all this possible that’s a whole another chapter that’s a whole study there’s people who devote their entire lives and they’re only fit really in the history of science are only just beginning to scratch the surface of what’s going on the soil the density of microbial life in one drop of water it’s astounding and you should look it up online to see pictures of it that’s where it all begins so you can zoom in to any of these elements of a forest system in and just make a life study out of it but what so elegant about the permaculture system and again I’m only just trying to get you excited about the idea that we can heal the planet we can take a snapshot of any Forest system and say hey you know what if we could have a magic wand snap your fingers and fill up all of these vertical spaces with food crops that we enjoy how much we will be feeding the neighborhood out of his backyard just with what’s here if everything is everything that you see here that is green and Alive was edible inedible food crap we would stop working on the treadmill the hamster wheel we would be spending our time together creating beautiful elaborate meals and having Publix in and sharing him if if one person’s house had better solar aspect you know then another than once you get more shady area grow mushrooms if you got more sun grow Citrus it’s an interconnected web of social interactions and that’s a whole other like subscience within permaculture social permaculture where we look at how how we can design beneficial Gill’s another key word guilds meaning conscious groupings of mutually beneficial synergistic relationship between the species or people and species or you know it’s really infinitely scalable scalable these different modules of thinking and end in methodology so I think that is a good place to come to a stop let me just take a breath and see if there’s anything else that would be good to close with on this story just back to the word the word itself permanent culture permanent agriculture kind of used interchangeably the ideas that nature has been foresting the Earth has been far as being so much longer than we’ve been here and if we step back and get out of the way it will consume everything we’ve built with Forest so we can get on her surfboard and surf the wave of rewilding that’s just always happening all the time or we can waste all of our energy and killer cells with fossil-fuel poison the plant just so we can have let me hear why I live in a nice area if all you hear is the buzzing of machines packing it all the wife around you and blowing leaves and just poisoning everything that’s not a high quality of life you know if you let the wave coming just consume you and it’s like a tidal wave of wild nature coming out of all the times and all the time and all we got to do is like put a bunch of season her pocket and run into him in and then it will be completely enveloped by it and will be back in the Garden of Eden a it’s just a cycle and we’re putting in all this fossil fuel ask your effort all these machines to fight it back so that people can make that proprietary clothes stores in that’s where you going to the gym with modification patenting life all those things to say how can you take this beautiful monstrosity of life on Earth and control it and limit access to it it takes a lot of energy and you know we’re getting close to the point where it’s not going to be is easy to tap that goes energy reserves it’s going to get more difficult and we’re going to see more resistance hopefully in Rebellion as people then wake up so that is it non comprehensive introduction to permaculture and now I’m open for questions thank you for your kind attention to say worried about whether catastrophic Earth changes being near to bishan she showed me how I can dissolve my fears by building permaculture goddess temples to last thousands of years so maybe shaking to Rebels some burned in some submerged but not all would be lost if they were globally dispersed Malta still stands 7,000 years strong proof of a civilization where women and men got along worshipping the Earth mother goddess you can’t go wrong reverence for the sacred feminine Divine carved out of stone to last for All Time Low Gardens no longer remain it’s never too late for the Legacy to be reclaimed now we know how to design and build edible Landscapes go with perennial gills cooperation not competition makes ecosystems last partnership not domination our ancestors lived in the past in Vietnam a 300 year old food for a still thrives in Morocco a 2000 year old one is the oldest known to be alive permaculture before it had an everlasting Garden still remain hydrating fertilizing and receding themselves humans just gave them a little initial help a funnel protest to the warrior Colt maybe our planting of trees around monuments of Earth and stone silvery Mound Mother Earth breast built over 400 years with antlers and bone in months we could establish seven-layer systems and plan of zones and with thousands of techno pagans de permiso wouldn’t be alone trance dancing to mix the cob Guided by country girls Drums and songs evoking Shakti to empower the cruise 140 beats per minute keep us all when I grew and trained by the Rhythm the workflow is smooth what it once took generations to achieve with the last drops of oil we could drive Earth surgeon machines swales dams Hans and mounds wrap the Contours on the ground like the curves of the thousands of goddess figurines that archaeologists have found God is food for us to be seen from space crop circles of bananas fire herbs Dome trellis grapes who will Coach Rick Kehoe bed to unlock the shackles of witches burned in these temples the lessons of her story will be relearned modern medicine women like to be Jane restoring Traditions that were cast into flames fortified by Thornberry bushes and bamboo Stakes Mozart Cinepolis in aquaculture Lakes Marauders bought off with sharpened sugarcane edible weapons like cayenne pepper mace peace is not the absence of War it’s the balance of masculine and feminine energy at a society’s core Earth’s Affliction a testosterone addiction man’s domination of perverted fiction women animals and nature suppressed by five thousand years of the blade with return to the Chalice our souls may have a chance to be saved once paid fear he is buried in a composting grave you no longer think Seven Generations ahead modernity expects the future to be dead Mullis and Warren are cosmic neighbors will scorn if we lay waste to Earth are collected welcome will not be warm those of us who choose to stay home while the male ego boldly goes where it doesn’t belong will discover old life and old civilizations that he’ll guy above all if there is to be a great collapse the next Dark Ages need not be so drab the goddess altar candles will illuminate sacred texts that teach of always suppressed by religious sects eco-feminist Anthropologist to thank for exposing false assumptions of Caitlin’s clothing and rape myth of savagery lie our ancestors did not deny the power of the female to give and hurt your life for Ninety-Nine percent of human time we live hand-in-hand not hand on throat women in prehistory were not enslaved as we’ve been told before agriculture cities churches and states to cross cultural Paradigm of goddess worship was in place where it was kept safe and progressed into civilization with Grace the human creative words cannot be reversed but it’s Focus can be we worked rather than building phallic missiles and bombs to mail can be heroic for his devotion at home tools no longer wielded to cut and control but to heal liberate sow and grow it’s not that we men are so bad just to education that is so sad. To fear and hate the wounds that create envious of her power he top of her glorious towers do you still stand but enough has survived we have what to do with permaculture revive the sacred spaces of old and begin to Value fertility above gold precious soil and seeds. He exchanged yields return true wealth and fame megalithic living heroine statue Standing Tall Pat’s not streets Grove not walls in permaculture got his temples to replace the shopping malls guidestone Commandments filter feature across time but Edible art would be a more compelling gift to leave behind no paternalistic laws and rules just moving temples depicting the feminine Divine what is the feminine Divine you ask she is with surging behind your social mask country cuz Road of Jordan and Reena Desai can gently guide you to your knees and breathe open your third eye when you surrender to shamanic beats boundaries will dissolve limit how do you think you decide how much to let in. I will fill you up and radiates out for your skin should whisper to your inner ear or sing loudly if you let go of your fear men afraid of losing control who’d rather die than find another man beautiful can bathe in the warm list of her love and drop the act of being Macho and tough the masculine Divine as a place in time equal in fact when properly were fined if you dare to perceive the feminine Divine you’ll see her spanning more Dimensions than stars in the sky for a 2d Glimpse to the art of Amanda Sage she’s downloaded revisions in the physical space with permease Architects and engineers futuristic permaculture goddess Temple Realms could soon be built right here thank you for listening to the Tantra Punk podcast please go to and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition assassini podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple after bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Archer Park. Com Damas de



Confronting Monsters in the Bedroom with Courtney Cleman TPP113


Courtney Cleman picIn this episode I’m joined by prominent sex blogger Courtney Cleman who has co-developed a compelling approach to confronting monsters in the bedroom. She goes over a list of negative self-limiting attitudes, behaviors, and habits that overshadow many love lives in the modern world. We have a great time comparing notes and connecting dots to reveal how a lot of the sexual insecurities and vulnerabilities of women actually apply to men as well.

About Courtney:

Courtney Cleman is a co-founder of Kate & Courtney, a NYC-based concept dedicated to empowering men, women, and couples with the knowledge to create fulfilling and lasting romantic bonds.
The two women behind the concept are experienced relationship and sex coaches who believe that through support, education, empowerment, and a little laughter, you can find the love and passion you deserve and hold onto it for a lifetime. They view sex and true intimacy as the cornerstones of a supportive, playful, and sexy bond between two people who deeply love each other. When you have a strong foundation in your relationship, then you will be happier, more confident, and feel more powerful – and when you feel that way, there’s nothing you can’t accomplish in your personal and professional life.
Kate & Courtney’s unique program has helped over 100,000 women in Europe understand their partners and themselves, solve sexual health and psychological issues, attract the ‘one’, and build deeply satisfying, lasting relationships. Kate & Courtney are opening their new NYC-based location in September 2017. You can also find their real-world, practical advice on sex and intimacy on

AI Generated Transcription:
(Want to help with corrections? Please contact me to learn about rewards for your efforts!)

Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin I want their beloveds welcome to Township on podcast episode number 113 I’m here with Courtney kleeman the co-founder of Kate and Courtney it’s a Blog all about sexual empowerment for women and three much for everybody to explore sexuality education in a new and modern way and they’re also going to be starting up some in person and built such a sex education coaching work in New York soon and so we’re going to hear all about the story of how they blast them together into this form into the media space and also was planning for the future so if you would Courtney please said give us a bit of background and how you what led you to this pass Highland thanks so much I’m Courtney and I’m very excited to participate in the founder of Kate and Courtney and where in New York City law say at this point and I’m late summer this year and started because my business partner and your friends cheat and I looked around and we thought women Dorothy Day have a lot of issues going on a long time and you know it’s just not very very sad and we think there’s a real job in sex education for adults and personally decayed and me we believe that the foundation of happiness is really not typically good at having intimacy with strong and long-lasting so how about them with signs Bay practical real-world advice on how to enjoy sex enjoy intimacy parlay that into a long-lasting happy relationship if that’s what you want and if you want something and be free with yourself because you know about an orgasm it’s pretty much the big the best medicine you can buy for so many reasons thank you so much for doing that important work I’m definitely more finding myself in the alternative on the alternate spectrum and there’s kind of a tenancy amongst people who are more biggest poly or or her open to sort of get build a really positional kind of space where it’s it’s it is almost over or projection on the people who want to sustain long-term monogamous pair-bonded relationships and it’s it’s kind of a false dichotomy you don’t have to be in Warren camps of the transit the old Paradigm in the new paradigm where it’s just there’s a lot of binary thinking still that I’ve come across so I’m I’m I’m very interested to hear more about how you’re helping more I don’t want to see traditional but we could just call it just couples. You know couples that’s two people and they’re making a living together to sharing space usually coconut levitating and possibly building families and there’s a lot of challenges for that so what are some skill sets that you have found most useful in in helping equip couples move is to sexually and with their communication and in other other intimacy type of skills is a long-lasting relationship it doesn’t have to be monogamous actually it’s really what you’ll flavor of happiness in a relationship is their own set of issues but whether you are in a polyamorous relationship relationship to talk about we have the same key Concepts and then issues with intimacy you are article monsters in the bed and the most intriguing what I want to take Explorer with you you yeah definitely is that how we can resolve deeper wounds and traumas and conflicts in a conscious manner through sexual play and release and all that energy work exactly you know everybody has past experiences and all of us have some negative experiences does ideas and beliefs and and so we will we all have our flavor of issues with the article actually talked about and what you were just asked me about it common problems people have a common problem is with all his stuff orgasm people have a lot of issues about how do they work at they feel like it takes too long maybe maybe they only can orgasm I’m in 30 passes on to the partner so that the entire experience gets so that’s that’s something we talked to a lot of people about and really our message is there is no right way to orgasm and of course we can show you a lot of picnics how to great so do you want to come out line that article a bit or are we just going to mention the title but I would love to to have you you know share some of that and definitely get people excited about reading the whole thing but just kind of some some highlights from it will be great to talk to a lot of people on Cade has the first one is the orgasm images of a lot of women are and you really have to be in the moment and Body Image definition of small detail same way in fact I mean if you bring your energy bill if you just said and done to stay that way but that it’s important and get over the body and then I think it impact men and women equally and you know there’s a lot of research on that but ultimately you just have to be confident that you’re confident shut the bleep terrible insect I mean I’m not even sure that it said but we can definitely talk a lot more that’s hardest year for the little lighter there from past experiences with a lot of people have trust issues I’m in a very difficult to enjoy sexual experience if you don’t trust another person because is all about your vulnerable and being able to be letting call if you don’t trust it not possible that you guys are important creature creature is the bag I don’t want to go down on you and then you think everyone is going to but it is being out in the moment And1 hang up and ask negatively impact your ability stop in Tennessee weather yeah me too it seems it seems like they are all vying for power in in the moment sort of rotating between each other or they’re fighting each other to get the key to get in the cockpit of a consciousness of of the person you know if you have body image issues and will be very difficult to orgasm because you’re you’re thinking about your butt or something like that right so what are some of what what is some of the facts that you can come up with in a year is come from and I really do some cell therapy and convince yourself that it it doesn’t matter if it’s okay if you are perfect unless something hurt unless you really have physical pain on motion of pain you are perfect so I think it’s about doing the talking to people absolutely learn how to do this thing. If you have questions about passed on trying to conquer called what layer is it kind of getting in the way of us being happy and address it appropriately and you know Jerry Rice stats well you know something is coming to me is that the body is the body image issues usually it’s at 6 I guess it’s expected that a woman is going to be self-conscious about her body type shape color except for a visa fee whatever is in Vogue in the trans of modeling in music videos of what I’ve seen critiques and studies of the the time sort of a time lapse or a flipbook kind of experience what was considered x-rated almost going back to the earliest forms of Photography and it really started with the ankle and they were using ankles to advertise products in Richard Eight is Enough thank you for pretty well aware that in let’s say if I’m getting this right medieval times or in in previous errors with in Western culture it was sexualized to be voluptuous because that was a symbol of wealth and abundance financially where is if you were too thick thin that meant that you were emaciated and starving and therefore where have the lower class so it was completely inverted and then now I would say recently the rise of non-white new music artist let’s say to keep it pretty bride has his a new hourglass Renaissance that isn’t about course it’s actually about genetics and in only certain people women have The Hourglass genetics so there’s a market for butt implants and it’s just such a moving car and so much money is being made but I bet that’s all kind of say that you would have to be living under a rock not to see these the how you list leads to all kinds of body dysmorphic disorder is and you know the classic eating disorders and then now where where to put the implants and measuring yourself against all these things so that’s that’s pretty well-established for women but doesn’t get talked about probably as much as hell if you’re if you’re a man and you were tall and lanky or short and stocky and you don’t have a certain range of proportionality of your rib cage to your neckline to your the symmetry of your facial bones and all the ways things that would make you a Ken doll or whatever one of the action heroes or also a whole other obviously Marketplace for that but you how do you deal with men who have forms of real story about whether or not they have washboard abs or whether or not you know they’re there was light you know can you bring up a grade point because body image issues actually in popular men and women almost equally I just think that women are more likely there’s just more it’s more, maybe we’ll talk about how it impacts women and you know women are more likely to talk about it and it’s very Troublesome and actually they’re absolutely a lot of men taking a lot of a certain way and it’s you know it’s a vicious cycle right it’s really vicious cycle because you’ll all you will always be chasing the certain body type I’m trying to talk it out I’ll try to read about it and really realizing that it is not something you can never chase and it’s really by you energy and confident that’s what makes you sexy and that’s what that’s What Makes You popular and that’s what makes people gravitate towards you at all the time right with you having a pretty unsuccessful love life and it just tells you that it’s not about Judy but you know where is magazine some pictures and of course otherwise we’re just going to be chasing you know chasing something unattainable I need to see a lot of people do that relationship there in Tennessee and you know it and you know what you help that but it takes a little bit of time it’s not it’s not just one conversation usually well yeah this is deep study I definitely want to spend the time on this end and was something that came to mind for me was just this I think it was in the early 90s hit we came out it was a film called singles and it was based in the East remember that it wasn’t it was like the Seattle music scene kind of think of the grass area in and they had all these different people who were living in the same apartment building and some of them were sort of hooking up and phasing in and out of things and always different character archetypes for love and relationship said and it was genius I I feel and there was there was one line that comes to mind is app for this conversation which is when there’s a whole story there’s a hoe separate 7 storyline of one of the one of the women feeling like she had two smaller breasts and so she went to go and see around house the doctor said no you’re perfect the way you are and you know this guy is he mr. Ryder mr. maybe and maybe you know you should accept yourself as you are and and I was feeling any soccer transform one of the things that happened that was revealing was it to her Rock rocker boyfriend and his name I think it was Matt Dillon bachelor’s Nigella that’s right she said she asked him when he had all these hourglass Amazon Women posters all over his walls and she would just see them feel dwarfed and insecure in an inadequate and so she actually asked him on my breast too small for you and he gave her an honest answer and said sometimes and yeah it was comedic moment cuz he was kind of built that he was meant to be, no fish. Not not so much a douchebag and his own world and not turned into seeing check for sensitive but if I I could say that I’ve experienced the same bias from the other direction but you said are my muscles big enough for you and the answer is sometimes you know so it’s interesting how that you’re working on it makes me feel that if there is too if there is a dynamic that was spoken about but it’s it’s somewhat it could be equal then what was the harm in okay you get to have a Chippendale stripper for your birthday and I get to have a Playboy bunny stripper for my birthday and that outlet is that something that you could have come across this allowing couples to you know fill in the gaps in ways that are healthy and not don’t involve dishonesty or cheating absolutely absolutely people should have a safe and honest relationship now absolutely to them some couples having an orgasm there’s no right way to do it as long as it stays and I believe it’s actually becoming more and more common to have a more open relationship make it easier to meet people enjoy coming back to stay together for a long time because you are absolutely true and honest and we tend to be very embarrassed about it and this is one of the reasons why because we make people happy or whatever your Flavor of Love infection so yes if you want to enjoy things yesterday I definitely Korean so this is would be a paradigm shift for most people to the unspoken assumption is that once you make a commitment to be in a relationship then fruit for most people the way we were literally programmed is that what that commitment means is that I will no longer fantasize pursue think about desire anyone other than you and if I do it’s just it’s breaking our commitment it’s being it’s it’s the form of infidelity even if you’re not married but that’s sort of the standard narrative about it but what what it could be in sin still actually support in a firm couples I think the swingers have been research about how swingers swinging for example as you live longer and your relationships your primary last longer because a year or more if you’re going out and meeting new people and being sexually adventurous with new people you’re going to stay fit you’re going to not just let yourself grow you know and text so I’m taking I’m just let myself go cuz they’re stuck with me and nuts bad habits that can happen when you give up when you stop trying to impress people so that that’s one dimension of it and then I couldn’t agree with you more I couldn’t agree with you more and you know they’ve been numerous studies done about having a support having Social Circle having a support system having a big part of something highly correlated to how long you live so this is your group if you were part of this group and absolutely asked to your house because you are you know what pack animals with I couldn’t agree more right on well yeah this is this is good so it’s whatever is hearing this and is feeling stuck or limited it doesn’t that you don’t have to make the most extreme your shifts right away but just to be able to say no here’s what I feel inadequate about I mean there’s women who I wish I could say to them is it really because you want me to be more muscular cuz I can go do that or week I’ll find a wingman who’s more muscular but we have such an important part connection white white white give that up and then you’re going to complain to me later about how you’re you’re you’re in the cycle of dating bad boy douchebags who fuck you over and he likes it or not so nice guy problems department and I’m trying to sell this while we’re at locate and I are huge fans of nice of nice guys that when people say I want this. Of the other and it has to do with something something superficial it’s an ultimately communication actually resolve everything so I told me think about it shut up I’m in everybody fantasizes everyone has their personal desires every single person in the world if you need with respect to their sexuality what time is the mine which one is the law how hard they wanted everyone is unique and thinking that he fantasizing about someone else it’s just get around that it’s very sexy Beyond somebody really muscular turns you on and sharing this experience and think about what turns you on the most important thing is actually setting up ground rules you really want to discuss everything I everything that comes to mind frequency what would be your relationship with those people where do you meet them how do you meet them everything should be in the open and of course you may not be able to chill you know you can create your own that you’ve all but if it’s really about communication is open and you can explore meeting new people together Again Sports and you can share experiences because you really have you know you are a team that has the life that would be my best advice okay and some experience with them when talking to people about this topic you know I totally different wavelengths with all this said I feel that at the individuals are so deeply fractured and wounded by modern society and all of its ways of penetrating our self-image with media it’s it’s whether you’ve been sexually abused or sexually missed you use whatever degrees along the life pastors there’s just a I feel like there’s a need to create Sexual Healing Fellowship amongst groups of people will wear where we really really give size kind of eccentric waves of thinking where you know I see that when two people are alone together trying to get each other off it’s kind of like pressing the gas in a break at the same time and worship worship rotating alternating pattern that is kind of a energetic circuitry if you will select electrical engineering if you want to if you want to have maximum energy purifying the chakra system than one person or the receiver fully relaxes and The Giver or givers preferably in my opinion Focus all their energy on on bathing in hydraulic Lee pressurizing and helping to for her person to purge out all of that baggage sold those bedroom monsters and then begin to know themselves at a level of their Essence in their higher self that doesn’t really usually get Explorer to receive when people are in orgasm race just the two of them and neglecting so many erogenous zones that you would need 12 hands to cover just the most basic human or not to mention the ones that are very idiosyncratic where it could be a tone of voice tone or word or a song I mean or something if you were to design a sensual erotic healing empowering ritual for a person you need more than one other person to do it to maximum capacity so I’m sort of becoming a marketing engine or this public service living breathing public service announcement that we’ve got to socialize sexual sex sex care like healthcare butt sex care and it’s got to be a team sport and that the results is my experimentations with with this approach have been so profound that I just never want to go back to that what feels like a really kind of simple ways to get a bigger flame and but there’s also more drama and it’s more personalities so if it’s that the interesting thing about the time designing a sacred ceremonial ritual you know procedure is that people kind of other roles to play and it’s and if you’re if you’re making a cedar of orgasmic pleasure for somebody who is the receiver of the devotional energy then there’s not a lot of sloppiness and there’s not a lot of oh my this is like that third wheel or the Unicorn as a lot of those issues when you just have sex parties that aren’t really there not really pretty according to a rotational principles over or like a is a certain Symmetry and clock we’re in and just a beauty of a de Mando way of doing things energetically so it’s kind of a mouthful but I would say it’s I think it’ll be an ideal to strive for more than just how to please your man you know and yeah that’s the way to do that but what if what if a woman comes the hardest watching her man gets fucked by three guys to see how do you say okay then ask them what your wildest fantasy is and helps them and Safeway HR classes in late summer we’re going to have that as part of our classes because I feeling all your senses and most to the north of us. list of all the Santas an important that it just gets deeper and for people who are bored so that’s something that you mentioned early on was said that there’s just a you know a couple of state do they have children that get bogged down in daily life and just multitasking and there’s less time and there’s less space if you’re so this expensive virtual experience specially when you’re applying energy towards your goals and you have a bigger Mission then it never gets boring because you’re always you’re always a directing it towards your goals and your your personal development do you want to talk about how some of what you were what are you doing to help people get over the the the boredom and the just a routine miss that comes with knowing each other and just sort of stopping it at a shallow level of physicality and boredom sucks and it’s just it’s just natural and then I’ll have a gold shield sex position and when he will have sex with one person only you typically go to the you just go to those people eating food with having sex and figuring out how to tell if this is what I wanted to bring you things then that’s it could be sex toys that could be sex position from places to have sex at that you want but it’s really just an open mind and doing your thing otherwise it’s like everything else thank Estelle and we talked to a lot of people enjoy successfully it’s amazing how easy to get people are much more open-minded and accepting when it comes to feel each other’s hands when they come to class when you talk to someone who just like a long long long time we’re just young people oh and I was going to say and I’m sure you see that when people explore whatever Lifestyle the Explorer it’s just one day for it when they get to do what they really fantasize about what makes it sound wonderful I’m so glad you’re doing if you want to talk about your offerings more and exactly you know how how you would like people to connect with you and will you have coming up and then any other words of advice that it’s really been a pleasure to get synapse formation into to compare notes yeah I know we are New York City based on the website is Cade and and we have Janelle we’re have articles and all sorts of traffic you could would love to hear from you and will we can. We can talk to you privately or we can run out and we’ll open up open up around midnight and we’re going to have classes for for people who are dating for trying to establish a relationship established just to learn how to orgasm how do you how what are the different ways how you can orgasm because there’s so much more than one if it is so much more than just a clitoral orgasm about male orgasm and pleasured and will need that you should you should absolutely hair and try to catch your partner but also enjoy yourself and so are classified balance and you know this is what you could do for filling experience beautiful thank you so much yeah well, I’m looking forward to continuing to catch up on your block and we will be in touch again weather for Texan Ranch Brandon Boyd over here to help people and answer questions then to you know wishing everyone a wonderful love whatever whatever you want to do beautiful all right thank you so much you have a great night. Calm and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples every bite illogical employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email bad by Tasha Punk. Com Thomas gay

The Secret Life of Sex Blogging with Ann St. Vincent TPP112


Ann St Vincent picIn this episode I am taken on an exclusive journey behind the posts of high-end sex blogger who has been living double lives as a powerful executive by day, and a sexual adventuress by night. She helps us understand the glories and difficulties of her path of uncompromising sexual exploration, empowerment and expression.

About Ann:

My name is Ann St. Vincent. I am an executive businesswoman in my early 40s.  I am a divorced woman and a Mom; my son Liam lives with me half the time.

This blog is my journal.

The last several years of turbulence in my life – involving a sexless-then-open marriage and taking advantage of it, divorce, sexual reawakening, online dating – all while navigating equal custody of my son and trying to maintain a good relationship with my ex – inspired me to get back to writing.

Unlike many divorced women, I am not bitter or angry at my ex for the breakdown of our marriage.  We both agreed we should go our separate ways.  I don’t regret my choices.  I’m pretty happy.  I’m not using a dating coach (yet).  I’m not looking to replace my husband and get re-married.  What I am, after a 15-year almost totally sexless relationship, is very keen on coming back to life, fulfilling every physical and emotional desire I have. At this point, I’d also like a boyfriend.

So far, so good. Life is fun and quite messy and I’m just figuring it out as I go along.

Everything here is true and my first hand, un-embellished experience, but the names of those I mention are disguised to protect the guilty. Enjoy.

AI Generated Transcription:
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin I love your beloved’s welcome to Township Park podcast episode number 112 I am doing a call with N St Vincent a prominent sex blogger and it’s become a sort of a series now I’ve reached out to the number of sex bloggers to expand their Horizons of the type of guests on the show and I’ve been learning a lot and there’s so much diversity and so much just candid life stories especially from the more traditional blogs where people are sharing life journaling basically journaling life events and being vulnerable and opening up so it’s a real gift to be able to speak to a a blogger of that nature so and would you please definitely tell us about your background and what led you to become the prominent sex bloggers that you are well I didn’t have a lot of experience with bugs at all when I started writing of the few years ago now when I was getting right after separating from my now ex-husband and girlfriend of mine after hearing stories had asked whether I had written it down and suggested I should and she’s the one that recommended that I write writing to me at least journaling is something that I have always done I stopped doing it actually after a long time ago with my ex-husband and so it’s actually quite natural for me to write I think of what I do is my journal except I share it with a lot of strangers that’s how I started running right on so what are you have a beautiful layout of your website it’s it’s what over 800 post now it sounds like you’re down by category so do you want to kind of give us a preview of some of the themes of the categories combination of two things I was writing the dating stories or the the Misadventures I was having or Adventure there was having after becoming single I was in a marriage or relationship for 15 years and I was also trying to start to process what happened in that relationship and cuz I just started to think about her what would be the categories really is as I’m thinking about my my life and so some of it has to do with my marriage although more and more or less and less about that as it progresses in time and I know that some people are interested really and just reading about the sex stuff so I try to make that easy for them if they want to just get to I think what I call I think I have a section called quick and dirty and then more about relationship because it really is a Blog about really is all the things that have been happening to me for my relationship perspective and a sex perspective since becoming single a few years ago and so do I have to I have had some relationships but good and bad and then I have had a lot of sexual adventures and so that’s really how I think about it and then sometimes I write about family or friends but usually that is more rare or being a mom that’s not the predominant stuff but it is you know it’s all parts of me so you can find that kind of stuff as well so it’s kind of like it was coming to me and say a reality Blog the way we think of reality TV where you get these candid insights into all these Dimensions if of life and get the kind of learning grow along with somebody is a kind of like that yeah I think so it really is my turtle and I like I said I started writing to process it never occurred to me that anyone would want to read really what I was writing I mean I know that sex is titillating but I was writing about some of the injury and in a marriage and my marriage ended up being sexless and and it was open for a while and then I kind of got into online dating and I was insane and just really I didn’t think there was anything particularly compelling other than the fact that girlfriend seemed like my stories we were stories are good for over drinks and I write the only way I know how it is if I’m actually sitting and telling you a story and so it is it is really like that it is my journey it is my inner thoughts and of course that’s a bold overtime in that I am now aware that I have an audience I have people that will call me out on my crap if but it is it hasn’t really changed fundamentally what the purposes of the blog which is to help me sort through the things that I’m doing and thinking about him seeing and experiencing so the transition that you’ve made is it’s it’s very well it’s just it’s refreshing and in beautiful empowering to know that more women are stepping up into Independence and opening up and you talk about that some of the glory and the challenges with with that process going to specifically of transcending in Elk Grove and the container of what were told is the only way to love and relating to child-raising call Vesta why was I was fairly I’m told him not to use the term promiscuous because that’s a judgment statement so positive whatever we want to use but I like sex alot before I met my now ex-husband and had a lot of sex and started yelling and I’m sure there are lots of reasons for that that we can get into there was a lot of judgment around that know when your 20 and choosing to have casual sex or multiple several partners and being a pretty free about it at least at the time now in my early forties scene in the same way that it is when you come out of the marriage and you’re 40 and I’m free to do what you want and I had some experiences near the Tail part of my marriage once it was open that helped me realize that I really did miss that that aspect of my marriage and it was something that it wasn’t the only reason that our marriage ended in fact it was by the least reason that our marriage ended but ultimately I knew that I needed to I guess find that part of me again it was something that was completely turned off for very long. Of time is Italy I mean and I knew that I just wanted to find it I wanted to find my sexual self and that was a very deliberate thing that I set out to do as soon as I became single and it’s something I’m still doing although it’s maybe with the frenetic Pace now but I’ve also realized over time that it is is it is sometimes difficult to bring your whole self to bear in situations and so I remember going from one day I think I was at a sex club in the afternoon with someone and then of course when to pick up my son and had this moment of how weird that felt being being a mom I mean I’m a corporate executive you know I wear a suit most days I’m a mom to a young child and but yet I sometimes go and do things that are definitely on the fringes actually and that’s all me all the same package but yet starting to embrace that a little bit more and being more open about pieces of that certainly with friends is pretty liberating feels great just find that and to not really have to answer to anybody in the same way any part of that is just because as you get older you have a little bit of soda if I may can I swear you know I also have to recognize that it’s not exactly something I bring to the Forefront all the time because again is just one component of who I am it’s not the most important one and it’s are some people a bit off-putting cuz they don’t expect it but it’s really great to have that option yeah I can pick and choose and I’m certainly pretty open with most of my girlfriend’s as an example many of them know that I write and read the blog stories it actually becomes a short form cuz they’ll have read a post and then I don’t have to explain in text all the stuff that’s happened to the good stuff awesome Clark Kent Superman kind of soup there been times where I’m in the office and working and I need large team and Senior executive and look around but it’s still I don’t think it’s Unique to women like quite frankly I don’t really want to know about my colleagues sexual Adventures necessarily either like I wouldn’t find that distracting at the office I was surprised I’ll say you know coming back into the dating world after 15 years I was pretty if you’d asked me before I would have said that I expected the judgment to have changed and there to have been less of a double standard between women and men in if men do one thing and women do the same thing you know that it would be judged more similarly and I I was actually rather horrified to learn that that’s not true at all that the same behavior for a woman and a man is still and fortunately does quite there for me well you know like it’s funny that as you were as you’re speaking about this work the work-life play sort of balance and the finalization everything and then I felt like we’ve come a long way since as what in western civilization at least when I say we from the Roman bath houses where they wouldn’t be sexual harassment claims cuz everybody after work would go and have sex together in the bathhouses to talk about work at the network that was networking Meetup to go see that you know sometimes people just call you need to have a really good orgasm with a relaxed a little bit but yes that has changed I think one of the most powerful things and for me has been finding the occasional person our man in my life has it been who knows all of the factors and still is okay with all those facets and that’s something that I know from a couple of a very close friend who also blogger and she and I are challenge with that same thing which is there are men who are certainly coming out of these kinds of communities and you know if you meet them out of your blog Persona and they’re okay with the rest of you like that becomes very powerful but it’s very difficult to meet somebody in a more alcohol save vanilla wedding and then how do you explain to them what how do I say oh by the way I’ve actually been exploring my sexuality in a in a significant way and I’ve done these in some cases kind of wild things and I still want you to see me exactly the way you did before when you just kind of assumed that was maybe not like that and that doesn’t happen very often unfortunately in it if it’s you all to have to make a call and went to even share any of that even sharing a Blog is fraught with challenges it’s not ended well for me yet but anytime I’ve done it close calls are times you tried to backpedal there I’m just curious if if this is to be it’s yeah it’s just interesting maybe do you have tips or from from hard lessons hard to learn what is because I talked about my the break out of my marriage and what happened when it was open but it was open in a don’t ask don’t tell kind of way which I’m sure some will table that’s not open but you know there was an awareness that things could happen outside the marriage I wrote a lot about that and let’s just say my ex-husband would not at all be pleased for to the gross understatement to discover that I am not only doing the kinds of things that I’m doing but I’m writing about them including the breakdown of our marriage and he would be and so I’ve had to I Really at first didn’t tell anyone about the writing except this one girlfriend who had a grudge me to write in the first place but then no overtime I’ve become especially as time has gone away like I don’t write so much for my marriage anymore time is progressing to become more comfortable with my whole self I have started to tell more people but I’m still quite cautious right of not telling people that would be in a circle that make sure that with him but then when it comes to dating it it is something that it is a very tricky thing you’ll find people and some bloggers who say it’s absolutely not okay to write anyone about anyone if they don’t know that you’re writing about them I think that’s quite frankly easier said than done but I’m not sure that I am very careful about not disclosing anything that would indicate anybody’s identities but then two then you have to make a call I got at some point if you do want to let someone in on on that knowledge of how you do that again It’s Tricky and I was dating someone so his name on my blog is fox and he was mature guy seems like he’d be pretty chill about it a bit kinky, knew about some of the stuff that I got enough to and was fine and I decided that because we seem to be on pretty good relationship trajectory I said okay to myself like I’m going to tell because I didn’t I don’t want to have this as a secret from some of the time in a serious relationship with his fine he said he was cool I didn’t tell him the Blog name I just told him that I log out there and he was fine with it until he wasn’t thought it out a couple of the stories that I use those stories I’m pretty hi Google something to do with gangbangs other things blog and so hard for him to find it and then he started reading and as I would be the same for sure he I was writing openly about the relationship I’m kind of lost his mind at that point we understand I would never want to know if the tables were turned far into a relationship with someone I would never want to know I will write when I have doubts and I will write when I’ve had Scrappy sacks you know what I don’t get it from that perspective would be difficult for me to give anyone any advice other than be really careful but it all the advice and I’ve written about this on my blog actually and I can find the link for you if you want which was I was dating somebody after that and month later and Eli after I ate the first experience I’m never going to tell anyone really really serious and down the road and there’s nothing bad decided to look kind of obsessively to all of my like my real life I know I’m logged life social media account and I had one connection between my real life Instagram account on my blog Instagram account and he found it he found that link and having to be good friends blog and I’m on her blog roll and there was not to get into it but there was a reference that she had made on her Instagram account that he knew that it was me and then found me through that my blog through that and that relationship ended very very badly blog but the lesson I learned from that was around you know that you start writing and I think most people especially in the Hexbug and community community so you tend to make friends through the blog you connect with people that are like-minded and it becomes tempting as it was for me at some point to say oh well there now like I can connect with them through my personal like my real account and you have to be very very rigorous and not do that not so much because that somehow wrong that you want to connect with people but it does leave you vulnerable am I issue for me was that I made my friend vulnerable to because he knew that her real life identity because she’s one of my closest friends and I have been talking about her and he was able to make that connection so I put her at risk as well and that’s the kind of stuff that you think about when you’re just excited cuz you’ve met these people who you think are wonderful and you want to reach out then maybe you don’t have a Blog Twitter account to use your real Twitter to you know you don’t think about it you don’t think about it and you just do it and it feels great cuz your meeting with wonderful supportive Community but you know most people in the world I think are trustworthy but occasionally if something happens and you’ve got these connections it actually kept me very bad things like I sent my ex-husband email using my email address private and I cannot complete freak out that I was referring to you about even things like making sure you have never email if you are the kind of bloggers that I am in and you’re you need to be careful like some people are out fully in the open but the kind of job I have the fact that I’m am all the fact that I have an ex-husband like all these things are make it really important for me to to be careful and so yeah there’s there’s things like even emails email accounts and not using certain accounts that are very very good at consolidating your information like a Google email is logged into my blog and I sent a YouTube link to somebody again using I didn’t even know ya the Google Plus thing you have no idea if you I believe all these things so I’m having flashbacks yeah I actually I had a Google Plus account and I I I I deleted it because it was just far too hard to control that integration and Integrations great something it’s not the great when you’re writing a sex blog you don’t want people to know that wow very enlightening I can not think I ever thought of it before either so that’s why I also wrote a couple posts about it for my readers because I wanted people to be aware of these things just you know just keep him in mind and pay peoples make her own decisions but just the vulnerabilities that are there at that while you’re there and I didn’t want anyone else or bad and I figured I could do but least I could do nothing but what I wanted to do for people with and hopefully not have them look at each other the same mistakes I made so thank you for sharing that with tell him yeah it’s in the comment on this obviously but it’s interesting that there is this the sort of a parallel opening up of dialogue and kind of a a Renaissance around psychedelic research and Shamanism and plant medicines a different kinds and ceremonies and it’s it’s been it’s been a struggle for mothers to talk about their experiences in the in the world is using entheogens for healing and for Transcendence you know and because there’s a threat that well at anything as a parent can be used against you in the family court of law basically you know so do you have any tips or experience with that hopefully you know you haven’t seen the worst of kind of dynamic but I know it’s something that a lot of women don’t speak out and don’t don’t build community using the internet because of these types of you know you’re just building a case against yourself in certain instances and if you don’t if I don’t know if there’s a right way or how you would just offer you know to tips for support but calculated risks I guess it time so yeah I think that’s what it is I have a fairly amicable relationship I would say if we didn’t if there was any kind of custody argument or fight or those kinds of things I would probably not shake the rest I do think a lot of people moving a lot I started logging not because I had an end in mind in terms of a book or a movie deal of those kinds of things I know a lot of money or they want to turn it into something a writers and so this is a another vehicle to get that kind of famous but that’s ultimately they want to make money off a Blog and I actually live in fear a little bit of of that because then suddenly becomes more likely that someone who’s heard my stories in real life is going to make a connection right so I think I think I definitely would not be so open about it if I was in a different situation with my ex I think people are not always so not as cautious as they should be frankly in or around writing some of these things in terms of Facebook group come out of group for divorced people I read some of the people right you don’t know who the other four thousand people be careful. I think at the end of the day like it for me it’s it is really about expressing what I’m going through and processing what I’m going through and I’m willing to take the rest I did my due diligence and thinking through from a professional perspective what the impact would be if it was found out if my professional life and my blog life but connected and I decided that if that were to happen Okay number one executive has a lot of facts is not exactly going to be some hell but I did I did decide that in the very unlikely scenario but that was to happen and that’s something negative was to happen to me as a result to my employer finding out that I would be the first one to show it from the rooftops that there’s no justification for that you know if that was the case I would absolutely fight for the fact that what I choose to do between consenting adults none of its illegal to have any bearing on my ability to do my job call me. I need that calculator husband now I can shut the block down pretty quickly I’m really careful about who knows I just hope he’s too busy and disinterested ever even think that it would be out there all right well it’s a reminds me I was at the adult industry door entertainment industry panel discussion about how this Administration is going to affect prosecution’s around insanity and you know with pouring and all that and what it was the lawyers from the panel or saying you know just make stuff that you’re proud of and it you’re willing to fight for and if it’s you know something that the community is people within the industry feel is worthy and recency amongst extreme pornographers believe it or not you know what you’re doing you’re not harming children or animals you’re having a great time living it up as a human being being creative and playful with your adult toys to do you know it’s only people who are jealous that would you don’t get too upset and want to shame anyone for that so I would agree and that I am willing to take the rest gate it it has become the blog and yeah you mentioned that I was writing every single day thousand words a day and it was super important to me and just being able to actually think it helps me think through things and help me make decisions the feedback also became important to me that the comments and I’m always saying to people don’t sugarcoat it I don’t want to just have a course of people that they owe you go girl and it’s nice to hear but that’s not actually really but the end of the day if I’m struggling with something I want to hear people’s perspectives even if I don’t like that I think about it as having a whole bunch of additional therapist are people who you’re could share their opinion on what I’m doing and and I don’t want to give that up and that’s important to me and so I’m willing to take the risk for that it’s it’s less it’s become at least more recently important but I’ve had I settled ever-so-slightly more Partners than people do in a lifetime one night yeah I think I went to a sex club one night and I had probably think five or six man and then I have this moment I think I’ll make a note of that for someone in their entire life and sexual partners I’m getting a little bit too yeah I wanted to know so there is this Mystique around corporate execs and the obviously the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon and I’m kind of getting a little bit of what’s the word curious I suppose about that the inter workings of the power dynamics if that say you heard if your if you have power a lot of people say that kind of stereotype around what what the male CEO executive is doing at a femdom dungeon temple temple of sorts is to release and surrender and let go of all that power and authority that’s being wielded with so much stress and responsibility during the corporate office workday or work weekend and I’m curious to have some of your cycle analysis of what’s going on in your what you found to be the what do you cook the your your release from the tension of the work place and into the realm of sexuality and how that is expressed for you I guess I could read all your blog posts or some of them and get a sense but it for this moment I’m just curious if you have a and you’re right it is so I had a his name is Andrew on the blog and he was the first person to talk to me about submission in a you know I have big shots of it but actively thing to me he said am I think you should go read go join at life website and look into Alpha subs and and he said I think you might be able to get into Subspace right which is a submissive can get into as a result of the pain or the body creates endorphins shut off that goes into this play he had suggested that and I kind of got down the rabbit hole at life of learning about submission and talking to some Dom and leading a lot about that and then decided I’d experiment a little bit with that and I’m not I am absolutely the leader at work a leader at work and have power I would say your and it’s interesting to me that it is not something that I particularly want to have quite happy to submit and I prefer it and it was only when I started reading about all of this that I liked you say you look correlation between professional strong women and a man in submission I don’t I don’t want to comment because I don’t know that true but maybe if you took 10 senior professional women would more be submissive and dominant yeah I guess that’s what I’m saying that’s from what I’ve done and yeah I don’t know if it’s so much for me to release stress I love what I do and it is a stressful job but I actually derive pleasure from from what I do I love my job other people is not stressful in the same way for me but I guess I enjoy not making decisions it’s nice to have that it’s certainly nice the kind of man that I find ultimately you’re going to think about the best partners for me would certainly be mad men who have the right balance of aggression and respect and for that is true in the bedroom I am not the kind of person and I met someone who is actually kind of funny Siri is he just called the dog trainer cuz that’s what he did he what he fancied himself a dog but he was really bossy and he tried to boss me around outside the bed early show up and say go do that dive your submissive and Michael number one I’m not I wouldn’t call myself a job and you have to earn it number to order something entirely different between in a physical act and taking charge and he wanting somebody to take charge and yes at time getting into a farmer submit some kind of exploring that’s different than someone just saying go get me a drink it’s a story about please say please and I think it is I don’t know all the reasons but that turns me on but I do know that sometimes I just I like to not have to make a decision like Joy having a male partner who’s going to be taking charge that way cool bro that’s a good could you see and say and guys who have it figured out at least four women like me it’s fantastic but more often than not I find men who are just not that you don’t quite have that balance they either think everything is directive or they asked permission to everything that some kind of my car please stop after which maybe go against those attempts to walk on eggshells and then that leaves the woman saying where’s the beef you know and I’ve been in the opposite situations where you it’s just always think the solution for it I heard someone say recently that the I guess the take home from what was being said it wasn’t the exact point don’t want to take it out of context but basically was the reason one of the key reasons for there to be for sex to be a social activity is it it helps keep people in check in how to keep you safe boundary and container and check if other people are kind of refereeing what’s going on because there’s a tendency and private if you just want you to one person might be bending their boundaries without even knowing it and regretting it later another person is in the moment could be bending their own agreement it’s just the the tendency to get into the trouble on either side of a a dyad is upset when you have more people around who are going to say Hey you know I don’t know what’s going to happen but if I make this one facial expression that I don’t even know I’m making that’s probably time to tap the guy out you know I’ve never heard that before but I love it there’s so much to learn once we start actually being open and talking about stuff Wilkes we’ve covered a lot of material and I’m so I guess they are so grateful to have received this Insight from vinevale and has been this it is kind of a alluring this double life and the challenges that we have in the modern social media era to deal with the stuff and so I’m sending my best prayers and wishes that that you’re continually safe and protected and and honor and cherish and respected in people’s you know see what you’re doing when they have a they see that you’re I did it’s a good ending in well-intentioned and purposeful mission that you have and and have no interest in outing you or any other if you know that I’m just not too sure if they understand the value that you’re bringing to other people who may be could be in the middle of nowhere and have no access to the culture that you have access to and this could be what gives them permission to even start to masturbate or something you know me that’s a big deal so yeah yeah it’s name is Leo on the Block I do have tags you know for all the names well so far what I would write would help anybody because it really is no my own Journey but it has been probably probably but it is been a real amazing side benefit and completely unexpected honor that people reach out and read and some in some cases say that yes I have open their eyes to things or has really helped them or the aspire to the same amount of a kind of Freedom that I have or write about Ben incredible if you’d asked me three and a half years ago I started writing in a whether I thought that would ever happen I would have last course not like nobody do you have any do you want to promote anything coming up on the website or just give the URL and direct people there in any closing words you might have a new maybe he’s going to end up just being one time lover will see and feathers for 800 Coast but hopefully decently easy for people to navigate to they know the sections are the stories might be of interest I know a lot of people just start at the beginning and just read so that’s always an option to although I can’t imagine doing that but I’m always up to something every day and then that time if there’s something going on I post everyday for two days and I know okay thanks again so much and you have a great evening thank you it was so delightful to meet you I love you. Tantra Park. Com can cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Aphrodite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been at Tasha Punk. Com Thomas gay

Honoring Psalm Isadora & Sharing Suicide Prevention Strategies with Ayanna Mojica TPP111


Ayanna Mojica pic
In this episode I am joined by Ayanna Mojica, a powerful priestess who has stepped up to hold space for dialog within the spiritual community about the tragic suicide of world-renown tantra teacher Psalm Isadora. I discovered her via a conference call she set up. I wasn’t able to join the call but I had a lot of emotion and concern about this incident and decided to invite Ayanna on the podcast to explore suicide prevention strategies and get deeper into this issue from a more tantric perspective. We honor Psalm by sharing our knowledge and experience of her works and her influence, and discuss ways we can all be more supportive of ourselves and each other as we continue our light works.

About Ayanna Mojica, Priestess of Power & Wealth:
Ayanna Mojica helps women master wealth and feminine power. A rising new Thought Leader and Premier Wealth Mentor, she boldly proclaims women’s divine birthright to wealth. A Priestess of Mary Magdalen, Ayanna’s unique coaching formula includes money mastery, mental mastery, sacred sexual alchemy, and the release of shame that keeps women from their money and feminine power.

For more than 30 years, Ms. Mojica has served humanity with her money, time and talents and a heart for service in the USA, Mexico, Cuba and Jamaica. A bilingual credentialed teacher and ordained minister, Mojica has taught thousands in colleges, public school, churches, temples, prisons, shelters and metaphysical centers.

Ayanna is a multi-degreed, multi-talented businesswoman with advanced degrees in fine arts. A renaissance entrepreneur, Mojica is an inspirational speaker, sex and money expert, founder of Path of the Magdalene, global sacred tour leader, and sought after spiritual adviser.

Ms. Mojica is now inspired to create a “conscious” trust and bank in the name of Mary Magdalen and leave a legacy of sustainable wealth.

For complete Spiritual Biography go to:

AI Generated Transcription:
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast episode number 111 I am on Zoom actually with Ayana Mojica a priestess of power and wealth and we have been acquainted online because of a tragic event that has rocked a lot of the world is Tantra sacred sexuality spiritual personal development trauma recovery all of these intersecting healing modalities and in spiritual practices because of the death of Psalm Isadora who I had the pleasure of meeting one time at a at a conference and wasn’t able to who’s a busy Booth so we weren’t able to really drop that much but I got to experience or workshop and was very impressed and so like I feel like she has been doing important work at a very high level at a very high stakes game you know running this energy running this technology at the at the the Hollywood level really in the in the figurative sense if not too literal sense but certainly in the in the LA culture and the higher levels of that media culture which as we all know is a shark tank in a lot of ways so having to survive that having to navigate that I can see there being a lot of pressure and unfortunately I don’t know what all the circumstances were I don’t know what to say if there’s any you know so-called note left or or any inside information from people close to her but you know how it feels to me that we lost a powerful healer a powerful educator a powerful leader and that is really disturbing in a lot of ways and the dialogue has has been kind of thumb I feel compared to what I was expecting it feels like it’s been crickets online I’ve been looking for people speaking out and getting some sort of online sacred Temple space of Swords to at least grieve together and build understanding and certainly buffer ourselves from feelings of Despair that comes from this so I found a Jana mojica’s conference call this she died when I was Googling around as long as she was hosting a conference call to create that kind of a space for people to come together and in debrief and and financial support and that led to my inviting her to be on this podcast to talk about her feelings and emotions and understandings of things from this point and it’s going to be an ongoing processes of grief and understanding and in recovery for all of us in in these fields and we spoke we we attempted to do is a an episode like this and there was a lot coming from me mainly that I feel is Ayana made a great editorial decision to say let’s do this again and and I’m going to withhold some of my more extreme feeling well maybe that maybe I hope she held the space for me to express them and now I don’t have to express in this format exactly the same way and that’s probably a good thing because I have some extreme views and opinions that may take some more time and we were just fishing at a level FM that that maybe it made it may take some time for folks to I don’t want to say that you know I don’t want to be elitist at all but it is so there’s that there’s a different way to look at certain things from different perspectives and to be acknowledging to everyone this is more of a general talk on the subject and not a more advanced esoteric esoteric talk about Karma and all kinds of other things maybe we’ll get to that but enough said for me I just wanted to excuse myself a little bit explain a little bit and thank Adriana for holding that space for me for the first round and then give her plenty of space now to really be more of a guide for us to to work see this so with that said please be on if you want to introduce yourself a bit and then talk about what what compelled you to it to start to open the space I will be lovely thank you thank you so much pain for the honor of being on your podcast Tantra pop punk I totally honor all of us who are holding up space in the area of sacred sexuality and transformation and healing we are all running right now and helping others to wake up and he’ll so thank you so much for the honor I am Ayanna Mojica Priestess of power and wealth and it is a title that was given to me by Mary Magdalene when she brought me into this mission of helping women Master well finish Eminem power and how I know about Psalm Isadora and why I’m so interested in this topic is because of her story her actual story not just a suicide but her actual story so it will when she did take her life it did affect many of us including myself affected Us in the world second sexuality world transformational world that Shilling world and wait in the spiritual growth world because she was able to cure stat world as well and like you said she was on that level of the Hollywood level and international global international airports beautiful woman and to see this beautiful soul I think she was 41 years old when she took alive and would seem to be at the Peak at the height of cortical making it and being of great importance to see that you’re taken a life really stunned me and it stung many people and I still have people contacting me about the open dialog I had called for online and the dialogue with Psalm Isadora was call Saul mecedora suicide inspiration an open Dialogue on suicide inspiration and hope and we had women from around the world I have two of the three other women speaker who spoke as well and we have women from around the world who on that call who shared very deep and personal very vulnerable things history is and I decided that that recording would stay private because the stories were so profound and some of them quite painful and from that time I still have people contacting me about the recording and so I have to keep the recording private and at the same time I want to say thank you Ben for opening up the dialogue again because this one will be made available to others so I still have people calling me I still have not calling emailing me contacting me about this topic about what happened they impact and it’s made on their lives and how they’re grieving still some of them are stock and shocked that one of the one of the stages of grief shock denial some are very few were angry and confused and some and deep sorrow and grief and Jess even today I a woman reached out and this was interesting been she reached out and said and in her email that she just found out that her Mentor online Mentor Aslam is Doria commit suicide and she have been working on exposing an orgasmic life she had come in contact with her she came from a fundamental Christian background and now that she is has discovered the shocking and she’s married and in a relationship she’s afraid to go on because if Psalm Isadora was so in touch with her she could have these mind-blowing orgasms and commit suicide what does that mean for her I’m going to pause there and it allows you to comment ask questions guide because when I got that email it like holy Toledo this is a serious concern for this beautiful she’s wondering if the power of old powerful divine right to orgasm can beat her to commit suicide that’s what the church would like women to believe unfortunately what they’re trained young boys to believe about masturbation in sexy thank you for what you shared and and that is the it’s a painful extremely painful and upsetting reality and and there’s a certain burden that transformational healers who have found powerful life-transforming Transcendence Transcendence techniques and practices and skill-sets resurrected or revived from cultural context totally different and totally different times and spaces and we’re trying to fit this Kundalini dragon serpent energy Shakti goddess into these Fabrications this house of cards of modern patriarchal civilization in there’s a lot of resistance and so I’m not from personal experience I feel I’m not surprised and I I feel that this The Cult of the guru that super humanizes leaders because of the financial Dynamic of paying someone for their mentorship were it’s if it’s a dangerous Dynamic and I just want to I mean I shed tears in the moments after finding out because I feel her pain when I feel the pain of Somme as a Survivor and the Paradox that I think will save lives at this point more than result in more suicides and more distraught Despair and confusion is understanding that if you were kiss maybe I can put it in a simple metaphor or analogy if you were as let’s say you were in a Nazi concentration camp and you figured out a way out and you started to organize people to escape what would happen when you were discovered as a ringleader of an escape plan from a concentration camp they would make an example out of you and I feel like the forces that we are trying to defeat with her pleasure with her Bliss and with goddess worship and healing modalities that honor the feminine we are leading a Revolt that is visible to our unfortunately Saturday I like to befriend all beings but there are uncompassionate beings that cohabitate in our mind space that drive people to these decisions to use their their bought their hands to betray their soul into kill themselves those things are like the Nazis and I would say the Nazis were possessed by those being so to comfort myself and others who are shedding tears and we’re confused it’s like the saying if you’re not pissing in one or anyone else you’re not doing things right you know she is being successful and that made her a Target and that means that if you rock the boat and you were Bell and you lead rebellions against what we’re really up against we’re going to need to buffer and protect and care for each other in a way that we probably haven’t conceived of since there were functioning goddess temples and I’m just going to leave it at that I mean where where to go next build goddess temples for each other to be buffered from these these enemies of our liberation that’s all I can say right now I’m going to just breathe into that cuz I can hear I can feel you and hear that he is a little behind a dinosaur as well as the compassion and passion behind your words and your vision for coming back to the goddess Temple and I just wanted to share with your audience a little bit about my background and why this hit me so hard and I called for them dialogue may I have hard on psychosexuality for many years and the very conservative County of Orange County I lived there for about 30 years and in the last 10 years of my residents there by decided to create a community where people can come together and have they started logs about sexuality and specifically sacred sexuality and you don’t begin to actually use the practice and so I can get this for about 10 years and I also want to say that my background my history my own acting natural history of having a history of childhood sexual abuse as having died in common with some Isadora and and many of us something many women and men who have experienced that and at the same time with her experience her that she should was very very very very dramatic and it came at the hands of the Church of the hands of someone close to her but it was her father and she was in a religious cult and so she experienced this horrendous childhood sexual abuse from an early age for many years so even though I didn’t Express to agree I’m not going to minimize my experience because I know how it has affected me that affected my life and so happened that piece in common and realizing that comes along way of healing that and a long way in my own transformation and evolution and I’m bringing healing and transformation to others men and women I was like shocking like holy toledo what so the questions that came up in my mind were how much of the Early Childhood experience still was affecting her how how much of her how much of her watch so shattered the degree of the effect of that on her current life how much is that was the result was the cause of her coming to the point of taking a whole life and I know that she didn’t want for healing and I know that she you know she went to India and went and studied with a contract master and then she also went to India and partner yoga two women who were in the sex and sexual trafficking so she brought these practices to mainstream and yet The Wing game that was in wounding was still there the fracture from what I see was still there to the point where this happened and so I started thinking about another not to say that I would you know I don’t believe that because of what happened in my childhood was going to commit suicide now cuz I’m not but I wasn’t suicidal great for 2 and 1/2 years after transition of my fiance and how how how old is this happen and for those of you and listening and where her students or just finding her or even purchased her classes or what her teacher trainers or even clients for those of you who are still stunned or were stunned by that act I know that those questions up like what and then we question ourselves and that’s a good thing I believe it’s a good thing because they’re for there but for the grace of God go I cuz I wasn’t two and a half years of suicidal grapes and you know who knows what would have actually tipped it for me to actually take my life that’s there’s this expectation of perfection that is the problem it’s the root of so many problems I mean there would be no religious cults if people didn’t expect perfection in the eyes of whatever deity they were attempting to be living by the scriptures of the true gospel song to to try to reverse the polarity maybe of this discourse around this I mean if we really kind of I’m a permaculture designer and I was trained to not just think out-of-the-box but really really Shuffle presumptions around and look at systems words were talking about belief systems and we’re talking about economic systems and its spiritual systems and if I put that look at this issue with that lens and now this is the first time I’ve really ever well I’ve had this kind of forces the hand I mean this is this is the time to really have these conversations and and bring some Shadow material into the light you know for everybody’s behalf because it is such a taboo to talk about you can be there people who lets it sit there under a mandate to report anyone who has any expressive thoughts or implies even that they may be considering taking her life there is serious consequences and we don’t really have much I would say there’s much to be desired in the infrastructure that existed maybe hotlines and what not but I feel like we can and we must do better and if it’s going to I think start with it being okay to admit imperfection and and something I mentioned that was you know redeeming from the last conversation with the hope that we could establish for each other as friends as colleagues as service providers just in general fractal opportunities for people to when they’re having a bad day when they’re having a crisis for people to kind of Camp around them and help to keep their spirits up and but also grieve and not be alone or in silence you know it’s so to be surrounded by people who are there two at at someone else’s time of need knowing that they they will at one point at a time of need the economics that would have to shift for people to be able to drop everything when someone is having a moment you know going to take a list going to take a shift in this idea that wow just run in the rat race and getting a hamster wheel until you’re successful and you didn’t die trying and then everything’s perfect but look at Robin Williams so you know the the tantric practice of Shadow work and dancing with the shadow that’s where I want to go with the spinner with this conversation in this moment and & Beyond is I have my own ideas down there just raging after this about what we’re not doing what we should be doing for each other and I’m curious if you know if you what are some advisements you would have or some brainstorming is that you’re having around intervention tactics for people if they have the space to come out and say hey everybody loves me I’m in crisis going to have an emergency birthday party or else yeah yeah that’s a good question and I before I comment on that I wanted to comment on Twitter things you need and when you would talk that you talked about and it’s an inspired me to share looking towards the guru as though they have all the answers or a teacher that has all the answers is very unhealthy I was speaking to a beautiful woman tea today and here I am guiding her and I said to her right from the beginning I said I trust your auntie your sovereignty is the most important I’m always going to grind you back to yourself your own power on knowledge on wisdom own understanding I’m here to help you to just kind of remove the veils from what has kept you from seeing acknowledging respecting your own disability your own sovereignty a person who is putting all the eggs into the basket of the GoNoodle is how we have coats and what is the pastor of the rabbi or you know whoever it is coach they Mentor teacher it is it is just out of order with with the laws of the universe really and directing also back to us so back to our Divinity back to us store back to us Center coming in alignment their back to the Beloved with them and knowing your true source of who you really are and I’m not saying negating mentors and coaches and Taylor is a transformational leaders and all that I am saying that they are their hair too many midwives their hair to we are here to perhaps even teach and coach you know how to help with certain practices but to totally depend on that and just turn off the mind and go into a space where everything and that is so now I can go into what practices can we put in place when we are feeling out of sorts and there are still several and one of them is please have your own your own practice where are you you know your Source you know your Divinity you know your I am that I am that you did you can go into your own secret garden and be there with you with the Divine and and create a practice of daily quiet practice where are you coming to touch you get to touch that part of yourself that is so important and in the true quote on quote true Tantra it’s just about sexuality and it’s not the true Tundra Clint in the Masters you you master the different meditation to master the different practices that have to do with quieting the mind and dealing with the body and dealing with the different parts of ourselves before you can get to the sexuality years and so I encourage us to deepen our daily practice deep in our daily practice 2 it’s a fine whatever you want to call it the I am done and the Divine goddess goddess you know the universe nature but getting in that place we were so quiet that we go with in touch on solving self know I saw himself and then when you think you know that empty your cup and go deeper go deeper and deeper and deeper and come into that place where you your truth is your truth it’s not based on what someone else has taught us even though there’s some good great teachers out there it’s it’s it’s it’s it’s so connected to life and to the source and we can’t get there was so busy and we’re looking for outside no validation having our own plumbline and getting in a consistent discipline and I want to say disappointed cuz the laws of some discipline laws a lot of freedom practice that’s one thing and then when was feeling out of sorts when we feeling out of source is actually a great indication that when not in alignment with scares me with sourcing with the Divine I am and that whatever that is that is causing us to be out of alignment because of all Humanity what is queef what’s wrong, or who knows how to Bad Day that part can put when we recognize that we’re out of alignment we can come back to our practice we can use the tools and so many different tools we can use to clear we can pick up the phone and call and say hey I’m having a bad day we can take off the masks and say hey this is who I am this is the real me I need help I need help to get back to my Divinity I need help to get back to my innocence I need help to get back to who I really am. That’s that’s what I am in encouraging and if someone is quote-unquote suicidal of course reach out not only to your friend but you know hotline. and it’s like we need to just reach out and the community to embrace there are Traditions their cultures that actually do not see mental health and mental illness the way we do in the Western World they actually see it as they’re not in their right self they’re not they’re not in there to sell the true nature the true God so that’s the way they said they don’t see it as mental illness that has been diagnosed and all the suicide and what they do is no need a shaman in the medicine man in the prominent member who they are that’s the I feel there’s this false Independence that needs to be replaced with a more ancient true interdependence where your import to your garden plants to you’re not just your pets but that helps with animals and plants and the spirits of the land of water the ancestors everybody is on your team and your nurturing life and you’re being nurtured by a web of Wildlife and we’re very far from that in a lot of our modern context in I’m more shocked that more people I mean I I feel every birthday to me when I really feel about it is a I can’t believe we all didn’t kill ourselves anniversary you know that’s how dire to me I would like caged animals in a zoo and you can just see the suffering and we’re we have all kinds of stories and games that we play in our Advanced neocortex about how we’re not caged zoo animals being poisoned to death with every influence mentally physically spiritually dietary and otherwise and to hold on as long as we do I think it’s miraculous that we get as far as we do in it and let you know as I’m screwing up this conversation and I really appreciate everything you said and that is one of the words that came out of my mouth when I was telling one of my friends always happening and said you know to Tantra is the pr the public relations disaster that that is to be presumed after a situation like this for the Tantra industry which it has become just like when someone dies in ayahuasca ceremony because somebody did something wrong or because the you know the so-called Shaman put in some other psychedelic that was going to give you more firework displays and that was actually poisonous unless two agree far beyond the potential of the natural ancient prepared substance and M concoction and so whenever New Age misadventure results in death it’s a backlash and it’s a public relations disaster at 1 to one degree or another it doesn’t seem like this incident so far has been tabloid eyes yet and I really pray that it doesn’t it’s it’s I would like it to be well-managed them but not swept under the rug you know by people like us having this conversation but you know one of the things that I said to kind of resonate with what you were saying about the internal work in the practice of being connected to your Divinity is a as the most authentic asparagus before you eat your ice cream in that is the self-loving township practices that are in all right hand path white Tantra with whatever you want to call it but that self-cultivation is what’s going to keep you more protected from other people’s drama and other people’s contagious spiritual entities and whatever else and projection specially if your rising up and people are hating on you and they’re masturbating to you and fantasize I mean there’s all kinds of soul ties being shot out into celebrities and Honest Company scale so again I resonate with the urging of people to be certain that they have a solid in practice and that’s maybe the biggest ? under the earthquake people go to in may want to buy supplies you know but they hadn’t thought about it the day before but if there’s one thing to do you know check what you’re saying check your internal practice because you don’t know what could push you push your buttons tomorrow you have you know what do what do any of us do I have what it takes and I don’t know I don’t know if we can all make it through every circumstance so there’s certainly everybody’s different but I’m in the goal either the hope would be that are Continuum of group supportive mechanisms for for healing and for intervention but also this more important internal killer maybe people can’t drop everything and really give you what you need so then what had you built that core before X got them before the Dark Night of the soul and end that is a problem I don’t believe that I’m not going to say that she is I’m not going to implicate her in this phenomenon but I will say that yet when people jump into the tantric sex experience without really doing more work to do what you’re talking about building an internet connection to your Divinity and Kenna purify your chakras using practices mantras and yantras and dance and movement in developing a relationship for sure and also doing the sexual rituals was held usually in a more facilitated container more like a ceremony a guided shamanic sword ceremony and not something to do on Tantra night with your boyfriend or something so much it’s great that it’s becoming somewhat understood or re accessed through the second chakra of the West would say but there’s a lot of missing and it is that yeah but I did the word that came to me and said you know this is people or Tantra is supposed to be the technology par exsalonce for controlling your own mind having your own ability to control your mind space and it’s because we they knew they were all scriptures about it they knew that we were going to be in the worst of darkest of dark times when we would be inundated with the darkest of dark his demons from drought the Galaxy and Beyond and the time trees were written as a tactical prescription for hell on Earth to survive it and to have the tools to survive it which I should add we re the tantric toolkit of the sounds great Indian scriptures that were written in these are so much more than we just descriptions but if we just look at some of the scriptures and what they were pointing to it’s kind of a narrative like hello earthlings the goddess and the Divine beings are sort of a little bit out of touch Out Of Reach for this cycle of the cosmic season so you’re going to be on your own for a while here for the bare minimum tools are going to need to stay sane and survive the Locust storm if infesting creatures that are going to tear you apart until we get back hopefully you make it good luck and that’s Ma you got to climb the ladder internally to get in direct communication with some of those beings that are no longer as easily available and sort of making it had a good analogy from a friend who said that you know the as the device the divine feminine returns to the Earth and returns to care for her children as humans versus real humans who are just trying to figure it out one lifetime in one lifetime at a time at this point usually in fragmented from our Traditions you know her point was that we a lot of people to come in this world with very hacked and and freed sort of DNA and we’re kind of from a lot of us are more susceptible to attack because of the this just degenerative curses coming down cascading from Bloodlines of 5,000 years of patriarchy and chorus ethnic intergenerational trauma we’re coming out of the womb now it just even more at at risk of attack and so the good news is if we’re paying attention and we’re connecting then we’re going to sense that that rescue team of the Divine forces coming back the divine feminine returning finding new vessels in people opening up new cultural spaces for this protective energy to come in we’re actually patching those cracks were patching those holes in the script of the human DNA and people are coming out into the world now beautifully resilient and more buffered and more capable and able to unite ice that’s the hopeful message for me is that some of us from this last few Generations you know that I’m I’m near Sam’s age and I was again I was a Survivor I came born into a world where I was victimized as a child so you know I would love to see people from going back to this specific event understand that no some of us were like the ones who stormed the beach at Normandy I mean some of us have been kind of puts you crucibles and in some weave had to struggle really hard to make it one day at a time and I just don’t I really feel like the the there’s nothing to be cynical about here this is a time to look Beyond and see look into the future and see the beauty that the symbols the signs the the indicators of a more like coming in more Darkness being dissolved by more beautiful design light and that’s a current that can be tapped into more easily now I believe then I don’t know if you know what to compare to certainly the Dark Ages certainly the the Nazi era mean there is knowledge is information we have this Global interconnected information feminine way of accessing information and all of the limitations of patriarchal Dominator culture are starting to be dissolves and yeah I just I just feel the Beauty and the grace of the future and opportunity that this is to really connect and so I mean when you when you were saying that it sounded hard to me and maybe those people were going to hear that oh you got to connect yourself to people that feel there’s nothing in there it’s just the voices that tell me to harm myself and others there’s nothing else in there what so maybe the next question is practic the Practical aspect some of the tool kits that you have some of the time trick teachings that you have that are the first aid kit if you will have time to practice is for emergency psychological you know situations where okay I mean Nam myoho renge killed you could say that’s influenced certainly by various strands of Tantra and I know people who bet is they’re saving grace in traffic in grief and breakups in Job Lots getting 5 and whatever and so that’s one example so what would be some some helpful stuff that you would recommend as far as well what about the person who you know I’m saying or going thin connect with that Source but would have been in there in that space is voices telling you to kill yourself that’s a good question and that’s where that’s the time to reach out that’s that’s not the time to try to do a contract specially if they don’t know what time practice that’s the time to reach out that’s the time to reach out for the medicine man The Medicine Woman there that the the Heat or the therapist or a psychiatrist that’s the time to 2 to really reach out and get help right as I know of a master incredilag I will ask to have to call my grand master teacher in the area spirituality who is master quite a few areas including the mental Mastery the cuz I believe that’s the three areas of Mastery is the mental Mastery money Mastery in the section psychosexual messed it all just being able to take him to Reliance son just really and I’m not going to say his name right now but he is here on planet Earth and he is here and before he shifted into doing predominately spiritual helping people to evolve spiritually he was a well-known iatrist and now they’re well-known psychiatrist but a very successful in a steam psychiatrist and he said when he when people walk into the door and sometimes it’s office and especially the children bring their children doing horrific things are experiencing horrific terrorist we could see he could see the spiritual negative entities that were affecting them whether they were children or teens by teens and adults but most of the people most of the adults most of the parents prefer to Medicaid the child or the team or take the medication rather than to deal with what was going on spiritually and so the spirits said to him with you you know him is his guys if you can do this the easy way or the hard way which you rather help people you know the easy way or the hard way so you said what is he when he said where the hard way will be during Cycle Therapy not took me a psychiatrist easy way would be helping their souls to evolve and creating tools that will help them and and showing them their Divinity and helping them to get there so he’s been pretty successful at that never did start with Tantra is Tantra I mean when we talkin about * 4 that’s 3 secret one in here in the west most people don’t understand it’s a place to start because that energy for Life Force energy if it’s if it’s if it’s not monitored and diet it or Master correctly it actually can negatively affect someone so someone’s having in our society we call a mental illness or challenges with suicidal ideation I would never give them a tantra practice I just wouldn’t stop there I wouldn’t if I like when I have clients and those on mentoring actually do a diet whole diagnostic where are you know what I want to know how they’re doing in their mental medication are they seeing the therapist and the energy coming through the life force energy does coming through with these practices that is responsible for insulin over to the other end of the side to create something negative I want to be able to bring them into a balanced force falls under a psychiatrist out of my sphere of influence how do I say in stool when I come about 2 or so a person who there’s a meditation that I highly recommend or those two want to real does all the energy on the truck, cuz we have a lots of them that we’ve experienced in a lifetime whether we were sexually abusing that we’ve experienced a lot of trauma just like living on planet Earth, this person actually the psychiatrist actually created a meditation calm and it is a very powerful tool that I have used to get through that suicidal grief and and to clear layers and layers and layers, layers and layers last trauma to come out to the place where oh my gosh it doesn’t affect me anymore I’m not triggered by it I can go on I don’t need to tell us that story and it works on the the the level of a mental emotional physical energy so the energetic the Mets won the most wanted physical energetics subconscious energetic State and and it guides you through for about an hour and I’m just so impressed with it that I I actually recommend it to those are working with and so is it so if Brooks on different levels because the energy of trauma we know is epigenetic it comes through the genes you alluded to that earlier it’s genetics just like physical has brown eyes and brown and and it comes through and through genetics, the energy of the programming of it in our DNA and then we have the programming that we receive in a lifetime early on from anything that may have, ties this is how we have all these layers that need to be cleared and we’re not aware that that is what’s affecting us in this lifetime and guiding us the release meditation is Sakura and so that’s where I start people because I also have a gift on on a type of gift to go in holographically and clear the energy of the Hologram of trauma and summer package I help people. We’re so those are some tools that I use and then if a person is balanced so maybe not found was full of say a person is at that place where okay I’m I need a little extra help no I’m not suicidal and yet something’s not working maybe I still have an addiction like a porn addiction or ill this pattern to Howard relationships this way of thinking that so then I give them if they’re ready for us I give them a practice that actually activate for the women the clitoris the energy in the clitoris and it and it actually connects to Pine meal plans and there’s this powerful practice of where the energy goes up the spine to the pineal gland and it actually is acting in her and Rita we know about the Emory to that shoots out but there’s actually an inner Amrita that actually begins to clear and dissolve the patterns of limitations list Fox and rabbit step that practice is very very very effective but actually cleared me from horn the picture I had a phone addiction of trial and and it wasn’t like flaring all the time it’s just that it was there I am I going to do what is this and when I Mary Magdalene gave me this practice is gone I mean literally gone because my own internet in a sacred sexual alchemy that I that I have engaged and that I practice and I noticed that as I was doing that I no longer felixson I no longer have the thoughts in the imagination that is very effective is gone so there’s a Alchemy and four men or women is from the clitoris connecting for the Clippers to Pioneer for the men of course is connecting to the energy at the base of the and connecting that energy to the Pioneer is a whole practice that goes with it I’m talking a lot here riveted cell crisis well that’s got me going back to the very beginning of is an orgasmic lifestyle going to make me commit suicide yeah it I mean to I just say a few things that I suppose then this it’s all of our birth rights to explore our private personal sexuality and to find age-appropriate consenting sane human beings to explore and share the energy with and if it wasn’t demonized by established religions and Cults really there would be no hindrance to it and it would be just a an Ambiance of orgasmia. And that’s something I like one of my attacks treatment towards said basically there’s if you look at it sort of like archaeology and anthropology and eras you could say that before the for patriarchal civilization emerged around 5,000 years ago every culture was tantric in the sense that if you look at it is living in celebration of the gifts of the body and experiencing pleasure to the body without repression or or denial is that gift then every culture was by that definition tantric and only a few anti pleasure cultures have developed an enveloped all of the naturally country coaches that were living orgasm so the The Narrative around does this mean that Tantra doesn’t work or because you know it’s it’s a I would say country got her this far and that is a lot farther than most people with that level of trauma make it and we need to applaud her and take care of her daughter and I believe her son and be there for her close friends and family and where is her father is he alive I don’t know anything about that another so everybody wears her father where is the accountability and the Tribunal for perpetrators and predators around the world you know for me this is fuel to the fire because I want to see the people who believe in Tantra as a practice in a past 2 to cure pedophilia 2D possess human sexual predators of entities that have come to Earth to harm children because their mothers are at work forced to not breastfeed for up to five years on demand forced to turn their back on their children in a time where that is not a wise decision for a mother to make and I can tell you all about it I mean some before I get back on a soapbox to call to action for me at this point you know to wrap up my thoughts for this for this discussion of talking is really that to you know she’s she’s a hero she still a hero what can we do to mitigate the pain and suffering of her immediate family what can we do to the you know it’s it’s a what is the word it’s a it’s murder I believe she was murdered by her father let’s put it that way can we just say it like that I mean I’m going to say it like that it was a curse a long-term slow-acting murder curse that he was not even really truly consciously aware of there are men on this planet who are conducting black tantric ritual sexual abuse ceremonies that really intentionally know what they’re doing psychologically and they have that mental insight and there are people who are just totally possessed and have no clue and I don’t know where her father wasn’t at Spectrum but it’s a slippery slope when you give the male EGO power and authority to make rules about sex it’s just a bad idea and cultures who knew that and figured that out made people called priestesses kind of Elder council’s of women be the adjudicators in the designers of human sexual energy flow it’s not a big mystery so I’m going to and weather in a wrap of my thoughts on this is you know what I think about Entre into to the person who is wondering if their orgasm is going to lead to suicide Chris Paul most likely not however there’s a lot of where’s your mental state know it’s going to lead you to that place so great Bliss connecting you deeper to the divine in my experience Heavens open and Angels come we get to dissolve the masks that were wearing and see god and goddess within one another we have greater Financial abundance moral alignment greater alignment to the universal laws which are beautiful and Powerful and we can say that the the gardens become Greener and the land is happier families become one Harmony there’s an end the healing that is actually happens to the person within her own body that the beautiful healing that happens in a person’s body a woman’s body a man’s body energy flow that happens between a better-informed trick Union and able to move this beautiful life force energy back so far from heart to genitals from genitals to heart and all the flow of energy does sweeping up to the Piney land and activating all the spells in the DNA antibody and how dare we cut that off and suppress it and and because the society we have we have done that too many degrees and still no most likely you have an orgasmic experience and greater orgasms is not clinic cause you to commit suicide explain to amplify your life and looks great oh my gosh. I know that I like to just share that if anyone doesn’t want to reach out to me you know I have a website is that’s a y a n n a m o j i see, I’m also very active on Facebook and so I have a personal page of a fan page and I have a group called Priestess of power and wealth so you can invite her to join us for the women and I do honor and love and respect and deeply loved my brothers and salute them and celebrate them thank you so much I really appreciate everything that you said and again holding space for some I feel like I was able to refine and and and do a better a better job of making some of my more extreme feelings more accessible and in in a better language way so your instinct to give it a second time by second chance if it was a good call and I feel very very blessed and in this moment and I think we will save lives and more safe and see if more and more lives discussion and always honoring in in in cherishing the heroism Psalm Isadora yeah song I wasn’t Dora and you know she’s a seed that fell to the ground and that seed fell on good soil and is now taking route is germinating and there are many many others who will come after her and and people are awake even more awake because of it even though there’s a shock there more awake and then wondering about what this is all about and even today I was like saying to Psalm Isadora I did it all cuz I communicate with the other side all the time 2000 schedule an appointment and in that moment I said Thank you so miss adoro thank you for the work that you have done thank you for being a Pioneer thank you for sure as far as you could heal thank you for taking this to the next level thank you for the many many lives that you have touched and will continue to touch and I want to say to you thank you been cuz I don’t know much about you but just a little bit that you’re sharing I am absolutely sure that you hold a safe container for people to heal and I do the same thing and so here we are you know having gone through what we’ve gone through and we’re in this position now humbly in the humble cuz I gave it humbles like humbly holding a space for men and women to heal and to grow it’s not just to heal is not just the surviving and healing it’s like thriving and creating this most magnificent expression of the Design Memphis that lies that we can create your own planet Earth because you been because you cuz you’re taking y’all in that container in your taking them through and now they get to to Blossom and now they get to purposely create what they’re called to do and this what I do beautiful but thank you for that acknowledgement is totally mutual and I just see I want to say have a great day and we will be in touch. You take care by the way thank you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is sustaining and improving the podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been at Rancho Park. Com

Exploring the Art of Erotic Literature with Malin James TPP110


Malin James picIn this episode I have the exquisite pleasure of exploring the art of erotic literature writing with Malin James. She offers a wide range of insights into the inner workings of erotic writing and we agree that it’s vital to sustain and evolve this ancient craft into the digital age.

About Malin:
Malin James is an essayist, blogger, and short story writer. Her work has appeared in Electric Literature, Bust Magazine, MUTHA, Queen Mob’s Tea House and Medium, as well as in anthologies for Cleis, Sweetmeats Press and others. Her short story collection, Roadhouse Blues will be available this summer from Go Deeper Press. Learn more at

AI Generated Transcription:
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin podcast episode number 110 I’m here with Mom and James a writer blogger and essayist of all things sexuality and Beyond and another blessed adventure to just discover more folks out of the box of Tantra who were in the sex blogging in writing fields and she was kind enough to accept my invite to the show and so it’s going to be a a process of exploration and learning about what all you offer your path to becoming an influencer in the sexuality writing field so yeah please share this a bit about your path leading up to the wonderful person you become thank you so much for having me on its really really cool I’ve been listening to some of the episodes and I really think of the work you’re doing is fantastic so it’s a complete honor to be here I think that I think that I’ve always been sort of Q2 sexuality in one way or another and I’ve been writing for a very very long time almost 20 years but it was until about five years ago that I really started focusing on sex is a subject and I started writing erotica and Dean sex blogging writing that sexuality and as I did that more and more I realized that sex is really an amazing lens to sort of look at our Humanity through our spirituality through understand ourselves each other that is really it is all encompassing and, things are tough connective facet of humanity and Joe the start of the more of my perspective Broad and on that the more I found it right about the more I reached out to people and people reached out to me and I just became a very nourishing very creative exciting space to be an end here I come from a background that is on the more traditional side and I have a history with sexual trauma and healing from all of that and so what kind of a winding road but through all of that has always been this sense of sexuality as being something that connects all of us and is very connected to my think that’s that’s it in a nutshell and I am grateful for it well well thank you for sharing and do you want to talk about some of your projects what what you’re focused on in your Expressions over this. So I think I took out at about last year I was primarily writing just very short pieces very short erotic fiction getting them published anthologies and doing all of that and it was good it was it was fun and then I didn’t wear more that I started blogging about my personal experiences just in relationships I’m in an open marriage and polyamorous most of my adult life so I started writing about that and my experiences with that just as as things opened up for me sort of healing from trauma I wrote about that some more and and things just started getting very I found myself very much sort of in the center of of the the non-fiction I was writing and so are most of my my non-fiction is very sordid personal experience reflective sort of stuff and I had always shied away from that because you know I made in the end you know who wants to be navel-gazing and instruct you know but you find a balance stop and get some perspective and the really cool thing is it that you know no one ever experiences you know when we all resonate with each other and you resonate in a can be very surprising can be really wonderful eye-opening so my non-fiction is definitely edges over towards the personal experience in the personal essay then as far as as far as fixing goes I’m working on a collection of erotic short stories right now that’s coming out with go deeper press this summer cold Roadhouse Blues and basically what I’m really looking at what I’m really interested in is it’s a bunch of connected short stories that also focus on this sort of one town in the middle of nowhere in the United States and the lives of people people have and how they don’t maybe look like what we think of as you know I haven’t particularly Rich sexual lives but they really do and they don’t matter stereotypes and they don’t maybe look the way we think they should look or you know whatever they want to just break down break down the idea of you know a sexual person looking a certain way or being a certain way or traditional relationships vs untraditional relationships insert break all that down to where it’s like now we’re just people in these people have relationships and this sometimes relationships look like one way and sometimes they look another way and so that’s really been my passion project for the past year now finishing it up now and really looking forward to getting that out in the world what sounds fun are you are you going out and sort of doing the what are they call it like what a method actor would do to get immersed in the environment so you can have a prospective for details of things are actually that’s a really awesome question I was an actor I trained as an actor and I worked as an actor in New York and San Francisco for about 10-15 years earlier in my life so a lot of my writing I use the same muscles in my writing as I do and when I was acting and what it is is it not so much method acting as like intense empathy I really really empathize with my character’s a bite if I can’t empathize and come to a character with compassionate then I shouldn’t be writing them even if they’re absolute jerk even if they’re you know an awful human being for me to write from a place that is both productive and I don’t know what the word is I don’t to say lightning because that’s that’s a bit that’s that’s a tall order but if I’m going to write from an honest place a place that isn’t may be rooted in judgment I need to have that empathy so I filled up a lot of those muscles when I was being an actor and doing acting training and I use that same sort of seat of empathy and compassion when I when I write my writing is super character-driven so you know whether it’s a guy who’s cheating on his boyfriend or you know woman who just desperately wants to have a baby and so she kind of does anything to get there just whatever the situation is even if I’ve never lived that live that experience try to come at it from a pretty like a pretty understanding emotional place and then if I don’t understand certain to take it looks like I’m never going to know what it is to be a gay man and so if I need to get a good perspective an honest perspective on something then you know I’ll talk to a friend or I’ll talk to to someone who has direct experience in an area to make sure I’m doing it right I mean the last thing you want to do is just perpetuate stereotypes without knowing it that sucks so you know I do want to be carefully do a lot of research but but yeah in the end it really comes down to like no matter who we fall in love with no matter who we have sex with no matter who we want or need or what we do we’re all people and we all hurt and we all love joy and we all experience pain and that sort of like the first step for me in getting into into a character’s head and then after that kind of just see where they take it sounds a little bit like we will and everything but it’s a very organic sort of intuitive process for me you know scanning my subconscious of four any references to something that like what you’re talking about and actually what came to mind was that movie Thelma and Louise did you receive that I really takes you on an anthropological journey into the Bible Belt and masculinity and the recently and it’s been years since I really I really loved it as a child that I think that was probably an important seed of Consciousness it was planted then and and watching it now recently after almost thirty years of being a free reasonably well trained feminist at least by my partners who wouldn’t give me the option if it’s amazing when you think about the character development in understanding and emphasizing and seeing the wounding of patriarchy that’s a on both on all ends of the gender Spectrum really in you just see the how tragic it is to be so so anybody really that the way that they that they covered the truck there is a truck driver he was a perv there was the husband who is the certified abusive or neglectful Tyrant and then there was the cereal kind of date rapist creepy guy and then there was the the good cop bad cop thing going on the empathetic cop with versus and so it’s like a sacred masculine was really held by of all people Harvey Keitel and he was the only one and then there was even the boyfriend who was tearing up the hotel room you know so she couldn’t even deal with him but he would least was wounded and he was a little bit vulnerable yeah it was a circus of patriarchal archetypes and archetypes that have been perpetuated for so long and end and have you know tab damaged women but also damaged men I really feel like you know all of it boxes just end up end up doing more damage then then good at this point you know with men feeling like they have to be a certain way to be strong or to be to be mad and identify you know as a particular gender and and women you know what’s been you know what’s been done to women by the patriarchy over so many so many centuries are you still you’re still working on the book now or you’re working on I’m doing all that the edits at this point so I’m I still got my hands pretty pretty deep in there so I can I think it would be probably a good move to go ahead and have a watch and just sort of compare you know what’s going on on the screen with some of the things that I’m working on to I think that’s awesome all right around ya good for divine timing and then it also makes me feel the other than this is like the pendulum swing of empowerment is that film based on if I can remember her name it’s probably going to escape me right now but at the only female serial killer wilmslow niak something like that I just heard a reference recently but I hadn’t had you seen that film really really powerful movie and Powerful Super 8 yeah it’s just that those that those are good things are going to my so what if you’re in less it’s a secret in your keeping it I mean I guess you could give us the back cover version to know if you have it to understand what it was some of the angles are coming at 2 with this project then I’m definitely curious truckstop town in the middle of nowhere and I really wanted to leave it very general because there places like this all over the country and very particular sort of localized stuff but but I wanted I wanted this town called sticks to sort of sit in sit in that space that General survival belts Enid rural Highway Town kind of feel and so what it is I’m kind of span of a bunch of decades like I’ve got a story set in the 40s and I’ve got a story a story set in the fifties and sixties and I’ve got stories that now and what if what I’m looking at is stuff like like there are there are some stories about women who work in a strip club but it’s not about them as strippers it’s about them as as women I’m in the top and see what they do and you know one of them is about a woman who is convinced her husband is cheating she she knows he’s cheating and the question is if he actually is cheetah or if this is just a lot of her own you know her own filters sort of boxing him into a role that he’s not actually playing or a woman who had a very close relationship to her father and he died and should have working through that with a man she needs no guy who who owns the local Diner and he’s gay but he’s completely in the closet because you know growing up in the 80s and you know it should taking Bible about town you you just don’t talk to being gay so you know so he’s performing this idea of what it is to be a straight man when you know there’s this other self that he doesn’t get to my cakes for Access with you know or a woman who escaped a really abusive relationship and how that haunts now and how that experience literally changed who she was least through all of that are sexual encounters sexual experiences sexual relationships in the thing with erotic of the tricky thing is is like an erotic I basically as a genre it needs to have sex and that’s that’s for the genre but what I wanted to do was you know make the sex really really like at just an inherent necessary part of the story and make the sexiest characters have and that I depict in the stories make it means something make it meaningful you know what start them in one place and have them end up in another place through a sexual encounter through the expression of their sexuality so all of these characters are very full people outside of the sex they have but for whatever reason in the stories they are in some way transformed or transported by a sexual experience and so that you know that’s like it needs a moment and are the pivotal Moment In the book where things change and I guess the best way I could put it is that in these stories for these people the pivotal moment is sexual you know the woman who just had a kid who feels completely out of touch with her body but she manages to get herself off and feel desire again for herself you know and and how that can change her and just a husband and wife who lost touch and I will find each other again but only after the wife has an affair and just that that kind of thing to sex is there like that by opening experience I think is really my hope for it that’s beautiful yeah I was at that makes me think you know when you’re sexually deprived or I guess Starving in a way in and it really distorts your character to the point where when you are able to then eventually have relatively fulfilling and desirable sex then it just kind of melts away all of that paint instantaneously then we built up over that time of deprivation and say yeah I said I don’t care how no matter how long it takes for my dream list of dream loving experience has to happen I know that in the moment it does happen I’ll know it was worth it to have to have to wait that long that one experience smacks you right upside the head and Andy know you it’s something shifts and it’s you know it’s stuff like that that’s just an instant beautiful fakeness that’s like as a profound it’s a profound Lee amazing yet mundane thing in like in mainstream media I think n insertive especially women’s bag of beans like Cosmo and and stuff you know performing sex you know how to how to be sexy how to how to be a sexy person how to have no mind blowing pornographics acts like you’re camping up the pressure on something that you know it doesn’t it doesn’t need to be that it can be any wholesome that can be filthy it can be wholesome and filthy at the same time you know Steve whatever we be whatever you need it to be in that moment with your partner with yourself and I just I just want to put put a little bit of that out there you know everyday people having really profound everyday experiences yeah that’s beautiful man in the in the world world of Tantra it’s kind of in a different way can become guilty of that have just hyping up this ever-elusive experience of transcendence that’s so so easily easy to access but then sometimes you’re fixated on trying to achieve something greater than what’s in the moment and some of the most required no technique and no mantras and know you know spiritual latticework to climb and it was just the person was so into it and so present that they just they didn’t need any of that it’s at to get there and it made in it and I could just melt into it so but it is important for a man I say two to be able to fully relax into sex you have to you have to train to be able to relax and there’s a lot of people whether it’s sexologist sexual therapist that you’re doing helping men overcome both erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation and if you can figure out how to sustain yourself in that sweet spot then so nourishing to bathe in those chemicals that the neurochemistry of how do you describe these good feelings in words in the paper the medium of words how do you express these if these feelings last me as I was working on this like how do you how do you make how do you make sex like more than just sort of like the bear biological unit description in like 10 and all that because in the end you know like we all know how sex works you know what you mean we basically you no no what you do when you have sex you know regardless what kind of sex you’re having and we know it like the mechanics are so you don’t have to to Really describe it like and super detail as opposed to like getting into that sort of that biology of it is there that I think about it I talk more about how things feel you know so it’s not just like they kissed it’s what’s going through her head when he kisses her what’s what he feeling when he kisses her like you know where they smelling what is it remind them of you know where did it take them and their minds are you know where they completely taken out of their heads and just living in the moment and experiencing the sensation Moment by moment and Eileen a lot more on that sort of that since a moment by moment physical experience as opposed to like a description for for writing a story and I also find that very naturally when I when I start writing from that sort of place of how something feels as opposed to what’s happening to them it naturally takes me right into the characters experience and and tops that empathy really just organically you know so I mentioned the story about the the woman who to have the baby and you know she just lost touch with her body she’s lost her ownership everybody in our entire sense of herself and so you know she ends up masturbating and it is a pretty straightforward story but like the whole build-up is how disconnected she feels to her body and how much it hurts and how much she just she just feels out of place in her skin and so the more she touches herself in a loving way the more she just seemed like your neck a little bit and let that tension app no justice he’s very unsexual actions that she’s taking gently unpen the tension and the the the start of the self-torture she’s putting herself through emotionally you know to unlock unlock that little portion of yourself that’s that’s really blocked off so you know going into her her head and like what did it feel like you know what does she remember sex feeling what she remembered her body feeling like how is it different now oh maybe it’s not so maybe it’s not so scary that it’s a little bit different maybe it’s okay that it’s changed a little bit maybe it’s still beautiful maybe her skin still feels good on your fingertips that kind of thing and let her sort of explore explore her physical self from that a very sordid a moment a very moment to moment almost like I had to take this a Buddhist but it is in a way it’s a very moment to moment present in reality right now experience in and let her be physically with herself and follow that experiences she has she has it and end with a story like that basically it was almost like it was getting married at Uni and I just like I just wrote it down so it says it’s super sensory and and way more like emotionally driven you know you want to make it sexy cuz you know still ride again people you don’t want to feel good you know when they when they read it but definitely looking for that deeper kind of that deeper feeling good but deeper feeling of a sexual experience I love it just came to mind that everyone should know how to fuck their own brains out that what you know what is it that gets you what gets what gets you under your own skin and then you know run with that cuz that’s you know that’s brilliant that’s that’s that’s a fantastic gift you can give yourself right on would you be at would would you feel put on the spot if I asked you to read any sampling of any of your Works whether it’s from your what you’re currently working on or anyting for the past and just you know feel free if you don’t if you don’t feel shy I can pull something at let me see let me pull up this isn’t from The Collection this is this is a piece that I wrote last year and it’s basically about a woman who is recovering from a pretty horrible breakup pretty horrible just a relationship in general me see if I can find the file here where are you all right there with me sorry about that nothing all right let me go up to my website I think I’ve got it on it see I’ll read it a snippet of it it’s called the second letter and I wrote it right at the start of my own sort of healing process from some relation to cut by a pretty bad relationship and I and then you don’t and coverings and some stuff in my own past my own my own experiences. Especially you know when I was very very on that were just super painful and I buried and said this was the first story that I wrote that really I feel like I started tapping into something much more real instead of that sort of but I think I was like that like stop corn and there’s nothing wrong with it but she would like that. Erotica important that she is super like hey look how many positions we can get in and out of time and it’s in a it’s fun it’s latest it’s Enos groovy it’s just you know it’s very it should have more about what they’re doing instead of what they’re experiencing and records of exactly exactly this is the first time it’s pretty special place in my heart so read I read a little bit you can fit in the phone booth dude get 10 people in a phone booth love it I believe it just makes me sit back Bow Wow that’s that’s infusing like if that was reality that would be pretty incredible you know it’s either really wow I can’t bear was supposed to be a space born on Dixie they had to design a sex harness so that we would be able to populate the species after that we leave if we leave the Earth if we leave the Earth is smoldering Cinder and we have to repopulate Mars and we have to have a harness to strap in otherwise we would just be sending each other across the spaceship every thrust you know so okay if we had to go earlier than we have to go live in space how do we do that you know how do we do all these things how do we have sex I love that alright so let me see okay so here’s the here’s here’s a snippet from the second letter I have sent you the letter that I want you to see it’s practical and why’s full of smooth measured lines and things are best for both I’m not writing the letter that I wanted to write it is not smooth is not measured I’m writing on my skin than the length of my leg and up again higher and higher to my warm wet comes in the hollow places that you can I will start my hip and scroll to my love on that curved hardbone I will write up the silence my tongue couldn’t feel of the ugliness and envy I swallow just keep your taste in my mouth I understand your responsibilities your conditions your life I embraced my confinement in a small mushroom I was your Escape you said if you kiss my thought it was cream and white when you did not smeared with ink but clean and sweet atacolypse band improbable trust your words poured into my skin and diffused feeling my cells with your precise exact same love Alchemy magic I became an extension of you you cast a spell with every they can bite every time your fingers drifted between my thighs in bars and restaurants and cafes in streets every time you found me wet every time you suck my breast am I thin cotton blouse I lost an inch of myself more ink on my skin you love me love me your word Steve denslow in profound until I live to your teeth in the rest of your cock the human arching back a curving neck neck a greedy gaping cunt I was a response to your words the words that you scroll down my skin with your Rich invisible ink a room at Haven the bottle in the gym a pretty little box wow yeah I Rosie thank you thank you very much I appreciate that a great deal where do you get a lot of your guests if inspiration do you have places you go to disconnect and or does it just come at random times and you take notes I’m just curious the creative workflow you know what people want to get into this what what are some best practices in tips and tricks of the trade don’t don’t wait to be inspired because the way the way I feel like creativity Works its it always there you just don’t know when it’s going to pounce on you so in order to kind of keep yourself open keep your brain open keep your spirit open in a right right a little everyday even if it’s like 5 minutes in a notebook you know if you can you can eat out more time that’s awesome if you can work out a page that’s great but like 5 minutes a day sit down quietly with yourself just jot down whatever comes to mind like no pressure no expectation just something from a dream something I thought you had the sound of a person’s voice like what it feels like you know when you get that shiver of recognition and it feels like you got memories opening up your spine just all those little like those little experiences that pop into your brain just at random shot the shot that down you give yourself 5 10 minutes to just indulge in that that creative space and sometimes like stubble slow at you and you can keep it down fast enough and sometimes it’s going to be pretty quiet and we started like meditating and you’re staring at the wall in your life what’s going on and you don’t just stay with it as best you can and just not even if you’re just writing oh my God this is awful I can’t wait at that I had no thoughts so that’s the first thing is just like opening up that Matt muscle that awareness of story of yourself of experience and then the more you do that the more the more things should have started to spark and you know sit down we know what an idea like I seen a visual a visual like an image that you can’t get out of your head you know maybe write a little a little story for that like why are those two people doing that thing in that picture you know ask a lot of like a lot of why questions you know why did I dream turn you on why did that dreams scare the hell out of you you know why did that thought surprise you I find that you know opening yourself up like a little bit every day and then always questioning yourself coming on it from a place of curiosity asking why why why and writing the answers you’re going to end up with piles of material or piles of stories that never would have occurred to you if you sat down and we’re trying to bang them out in a conscious way and so that’s I think that’s that’s what I’d say for anyway that’s still how I work that I’ve been working for 20 years and it helps keep the pressure off and it keeps that that writer’s block at Bay because okay so I have a crap day and I’m I write absolute shiter apps I write absolutely nothing that’s okay I’ll have tomorrow so you know those steaks and a and I think once you you free yourself of that pressure you can go to take yourself to places that are going to surprise you and those surprises you know saying saying yes to like the things that surprise you and maybe catch you off-guard a little bit that’s where the really great stories are can you count demystify what writer’s block is as feel that the yeah me neither I probably haven’t been I mean I’ve I’ve written for magazines I’ve written columns for newspapers and I’m going back to college and I’ve been lyrics and poetry I said I consider myself a skilled and talented May probably more talented than skill that should be a writer but I haven’t made it my profession so I haven’t been dependent on it for my livelihood in a way that if I got stuck that it would matter so I probably never felt that anxiety around it so I’m curious what is that what is that is a phenomenon and if people have encountered it what are some of the tips that you’d have fur breaking through I’ve got to admit something right here I I have made it so that I don’t like that the stories of fiction I write in the essay is that really matter I don’t make my living off those I write copy I you know I freelance really boring stuff I do other things I teach sometimes I do other things so that I don’t have to make a living off of my fiction and I think like you were saying I think that pulling that that that performance pressure that that sort of financial imperative off of my fiction actually makes me much more productive than I would be otherwise and helps me avoid the writer’s block that might come when that pressure hits but you know back is different I feel like it’s different for a different different authors and different writers and it it manifests in different ways basically I I think that the most General it just like the most General way I tend to think about it as a sort of like a paralysis like you’re sitting at your computer your desk your notebook or whatever it is and you cannot you cannot put pen-to-paper you cannot make a words show up on the screen you’re just you’re paralyzed and it can happen because your blank and for some reason ideas and Rose are coming it can happen because there’s so much going on in your head and you have so many ideas that you get overwhelmed it can happen because you’re exhausted or depressed or anxious or worried or distracted basically what it comes down to is that you are like standing in the middle of the road and you cannot put one foot in front of the other and so the best thing you can do for yourself is to say it’s just Cop 2 that’s where you are you like okay I am in a really tough place I cannot put one foot in front of the other and be okay with that and switch gears so if you’re writing a fiction piece and it’s just not working you cannot work on it switch gears write an email and write write write an observation write an essay write write a you know what’s in thoughts on a book you read rights and thoughts on a movie you read right you know right it right to a friend right some tweets write a Facebook post just switch gears to something that is absolutely not the thing that you are stuck and and let that go let that roll and sort of let your mind just sit quietly on its own with whatever is blocking you with whatever’s got you paralyzed and then at some point gently bring yourself back and say okay you know what let’s try to put one foot in front of the other but keep the pressure low figure I’m going to come in and write a sentence and that’s great if you write this is awesome and if you can’t it’s okay you know that you tried your best gym I set it aside and come back to it tomorrow just you know when the last thing you should do like if a person is stuck and they’re terrified and they’re paralyzed in the middle of the road the last thing you want to do is flex shot at them and buried them and beat them you wouldn’t do that to another person so don’t don’t do that to you and just try to be try to be gentle take the pressure off and then you know eventually just keep keep on going don’t give up but but do it in a compassionate way I love you you know what what did it came up earlier when when you were reading was did you ever see that movie Pump Up the Volume. Yeah absolutely not so subtle influence I don’t think I’m actually thought of it I suspect if there’s an ambulance there it’s pretty subconscious but hey you know that sometimes you’re the best influences are like it’s so dorky but I really feel like like sexually formed me a great deal was a member of Bram Stoker’s Dracula back in the early 90s with my friends and it blew my head off just so many difference depictions of sexuality in and female sexuality particularly in that won between Mena and and Lucy in that the brides and stuff and I just remember like actively consciously identifying with each one of them in very different ways and it was the first time I had archetypes to apply to myself and so that’s that’s always been like if I were if I were to say that one spell more sort of 1 narrative performance really ended up I die really really like imprinted hard on that movie as flawed as it is and it’s you know it’s not but man that really did that not one nailed me hard and then and then different definitely Pump Up the Volume was in there and like Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman and just yeah definitely very very end times you doing that one was so creepy you know going back and watching that you know her performances as a Selina Kyle and Callum is just heartbreaking you know that the degree to which she you know she was divided you know and how she couldn’t she couldn’t have it both felt equally at the same time and then she’s got this creepy little dude Raggedy Ann it’s really as it’s fascinating it’s it’s it’s fun going back and watching these movies like I’m going to go back and watch some of the movies now that you mention it cuz that one is to totally yeah she’s real glimpse into that where you located at approximately it’s a culture shock to drive across the country for sure I had before then I live just in the Bay Area and New York and La just cuz that’s where I went to school and where I ended up working and stuff and little live live in Texas for 9 months is completely outside of my experience that it was one of the most like I think I was one of the most profound growth experiences of my life was just realizing that my little bubble was very much a bubble and that’s no beyond that were people that had completely different sets of values religious beliefs spiritual beliefs sexual beliefs and ways of living and that you know there was a vast vast difference between us ideologically speaking and yet there was a shared Humanity there and that was like some serious I’m serious at I opening that I’d I really need it at that point of my life wow this is making me want to go and do some deep cover tantric makeovers on small towns without even using the word yeah I feel like very capable of being a social chameleon and building rapport I’ve been touring the country and bands for years so you know you have to get an answer is in punk rock band you show up at the diner at the gas stations in but they’re used to it because there’s so many bands touring and you know I said but it’s it’s always a Charming endearing and sometimes facially deformed you know I mean seriously to the inbreeding get it it’s hard to hide in some of those places in a it’s pretty shocking but but yeah the struggles of women and you know the all of the expressions of even square dancing and things like that I feel like there’s they’re accessing Shakti and goddess worshiping expressing sexuality in ways that it it’ll it’ll find a way to be expressed even if it’s actively repressed through the church or whatever. Just curious now to take take that lends outlet for it and what outlet for that Sexual Energy or a sexual self-awareness is shut off by buying institution and it doesn’t make it go away it’s you know so where did where did it go what happens to as a manifest and other places Gina does it get does it find healthy expression somewhere else like you know in in church choirs are in orange square dancing or in you don’t really great cooking or does it get twisted and assertive harmful and perverted you know by being suppressed you known and how does that what happens to it because it’s it’s not like it’s just going to disappear it still has got to be a gay country music band out there somewhere it’s it’s cliche to like every form of Music except country but I actually I had I know nothing about the artist that don’t listen to it on the radio but I every time I hear it I do feel like well that’s the voice of the Goddess speaking through men being vulnerable in the only way that they can be and get away with it for sneaking it out through there through the yeah it’s it’s it’s a feminine Arts a very hurtful way of expression that they couldn’t get away with in any other sector like flat-out like open the expressed pain in so many country songs you know floss and pain and disappointment in and you don’t like in an Unapologetic it’s not cynical it’s it’s just you know it’s just they’re putting it out there cuz it’s you know the reality and you don’t get that and a lot of in a lot of areas I think of that sort of that that’s license that’s like the culture that sort of maybe more religiously influenced culture you don’t get it as much but that’s super true should we got a few minutes last time and I just enjoy this very eyeshadow get to relax and be is is I feel like we just drink tea or at a beer or something it was was not like my typical extreme activism turn the whole world upside down analyze everything with a sense of urgency is definitely usually like when I do interviews it’s not as it’s just not as like Melo I know what do you want to get to do whatever you like to shout out and hype and promote your website and best ways for people to to connect and then if you have any any words you want to share things people should look out for it and it’s all you can find me on social media and I’m so you can get me there at ball and MJ names and on my website you can certify me find all the other places where I am so my website the Great One Stop Shop there and that’s m a l i n j a m e s. Com and the collection Roadhouse Blues is going to be coming out this summer with go deeper press and they’re awesome I just want to throw that out there by the way they are super amazingly sex-positive amazing activism just there an amazing publisher so I would definitely definitely say even if I wasn’t I didn’t have a book for coming with him I’d say check them out to their boss in there it goes deeper and Zoe at the collection is Roadhouse Blues it’ll be coming out I’ll be on a book and paperback and probably available on Amazon and all those normal places and you have basically I guess I guess but the last thing I would say is just the world right now is is rough people are really struggling in the world is always rough but it feels like in the past few months things have gotten so that it’s gotten heightened up so you know just anything anything you can do to sort of find out find a place of empathy with other people’s experiences try to even if you don’t agree to try to understand where they’re coming from and and communicate Your Truth as as effectively and compassionately as possible I feel like that’s super important right now is there more people understand each other at the less I was going to get demonized and we could do with a lot less demonizing each other so thank you for the words and I guess there’s one thing I’d like to to ask for you to share about what you’ll be you know for the people who are just be more line on digital forms of texting all of that you know I if you could give it a sort of a Aroma to romanticize print media and book reading a little bit if you have any like a public you know a public service announcement around that and also I just the last thing I want to say is it a you have a great voice for spoken word I hope that you do read some audio books of your material if you haven’t already so that they can be used more easily to digestible for people who don’t have two hands to hold a book anymore cuz they’re on the computer all the time I was never thank you so much that’s really awesome compliment I’m hoping to do an audio book and read it myself because it’s it’s it’s fun I love it and I love audiobooks I love honestly I love books in pretty much every form you can get your hands on books like audio paper hardcover ebook whatever it is whatever your whatever your groove is you know go for it and enjoy enjoy the written word you know they’re amazing amazing stories just to be to be found on websites on podcast podcast I really enjoyed your pot has it been in but enjoying it so much I am a podcast just jumped and electronic media is a great place to do that so find you know figure out what you’re into and fell down the rabbit hole whichever rabbit hole that happens to be yeah dilate your attention span for an experience that isn’t just the Sound by sounds like so that’s cool I’m glad you’re saying that because then it’s not like because because Book Sales are going down in book stores are closing than writers are going extinct know they’re adapting and you’re adapting so thank you thank you for keeping the long version thank you I feel like hanging in there with the long version that’s it that’s a different kind of reward you know they did the sound bytes are good but if you can he can hang out there a little bit longer with whatever it is you’re reading then they’re worse than that to awesome alright then melon will thank you again for your time and we will definitely be in touch and I look forward to your work coming out like you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episode if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Tantra Punk. Com

Legalizing Feminist Porn with Pandora Blake TPP109


Pandora Blake picIn this episode I have an invigorating conversation with activist and feminist pornographer Pandora Blake. We discuss the shady politics of repression of sexual expression. While there are many reasons to feel defeated and demoralized in the struggle for sexual and artistic liberation, Pandora provides a lot of strength and hope that a proud, empowered, uncompromising, pornographic revolution will prevail.

Please visit her website at:

About Pandora:

Pandora Blake is a feminist pornographer, sex worker and sexual freedom campaigner. Her films have won multiple international awards and her website Dreams of Spanking has survived legal battles against porn censorship in the UK.

Pandora is an active campaigner for sex work decriminalisation and labour rights, obscenity law reform, civil liberties and human rights, particularly relating to freedom of expression, gender, sexuality and privacy. She is official spokesperson for Backlash, which defends freedom of sexual expression among consenting adults in the UK, and organises
alongside the Open Rights Group and the English Collective of Prostitutes. An experienced public speaker, Pandora regularly appears on panels and gives talks and media interviews. She runs a Patreon to support her unpaid activism and political work.

As a sex worker and porn-maker, Pandora works passionately to increase social and legal acceptance of marginalised sexualities, educate the public about kink and BDSM, and reduce stigma and shame. She was awarded Publicist of the Year at the Sexual Freedom Awards 2015 for her efforts advocating for sex workers’ rights and against porn censorship. She is currently working on a book about the politics and psychology of fantasy, particularly the ones we don’t dare admit to in public.

Her pornographic films are story-driven and gender-critical, exploring kinky fantasies via a queer erotic gaze. She is the sole owner and operator of Dreams of Spanking, which launched in 2011, faced government censorship for its unapologetic depiction of consensual BDSM, and successfully appealed against closure by the UK porn regulator in 2016.

Her work has won awards including Best BDSM Scene 2015 at the Feminist Porn Awards, and first prize in the 2015 Short Film Competition at the Berlin Porn Film Festival. Her production ethos is performer-centric, and prioritises transparency, explicit performer consent, and equal pay for equal work.

Pandora writes a blog on kink, porn and politics, and you can follow her on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

AI Generated Transcription:
(Want to help with corrections? Please contact me to learn about rewards for your efforts!)

Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear beloved’s welcome to times for fun podcast episode number 109 I am doing an interview with Pandora Blake a sexual freedom campaigner and feminist pornographer in the UK and I’m really excited to go on a journey of expiration of some of the the challenges unique challenges of being a feminist born producer what the the ideology is and some of the obstacles that come up with the law and with people on all spectrums of of politics who have who aren’t yet converted to the beauty of enjoying feminists so that’ll be exciting cuz that’s your Forte so would you would you please Pandora tacos and talk to us a bit about your life path that led up to your playing these roles in the world I mean I didn’t even know it was possible I’m sorry my background is so I can keep them I started kind of expressing myself benign my teens and if a relationship 6 touring BDSM I’ve always appreciated having access to pool and I remember when I was a kid and I knew that was having kinky found assistant couldn’t make sense of them and I had loads of Shame and a new account open in about them and then being able to go online and find some of the phone is being made and kind of be late 90s any notice and realized I wasn’t there any one of the planets you like this stuff it was like it was really a fan positive people have when they grow up into politics and social justice and then yeah when I was an apprentice I was in an abusive relationship and I was talking to my partner about how I really wanted to be in some of the some of the spanking websites I was looking at because that’s one of my biggest things that we were doing together a lot in that relationship and he said but why don’t you you know you could Yorkie enough and you can act and I just had to cut to me that I might be a candidate for the encouragement I kind of found my way to doing some performance various kind of European and UK fetish sites as assets of performer I loved it like love that it was like wait you mean I get to dress up in fancy costumes and do the stuff like a real place I left you a home and I get paid you kidding me and I’m really into kind of seems and my sister just be happy for me so I can buy my own Partners along and do things with them so I wasn’t even having to walk with Strange’s I was going to walk with my Apartments so yeah Lobster up and it was fun doing some of the other guys doing it wasn’t sexy so like for a while I was trying to make it in Austin and yeah and while this was happening I was kind of getting more engaged with all the six educating myself about different things to do with kind of social justice and gender sexuality and gradually coming to this kind of Consciousness that maybe all though I had a great time in the Box I’ve been doing know all of this to you guys. I’ve walked with maybe had the best body of work from a soda gender politics suspected United very few of the produces I’d watchful had any models that one white cisgender skinny women that was no one shooting trans and non-binary people mad very few people even shooting and you know they would be some kind of role plays at times have to say no to cuz I just found a greedy roast like I don’t want to play a wife and her credit card and they when I would have been interesting than that but yeah I did Stephanie to get a sense that maybe some of some of these sentences with maybe coming from Apollo 600 Texas some money even though I was very badly treated badly about experiences and they were with really very small street is a very She & Him most of them because they still driving like you know I mean you have to treat your phone as well to 268 at nine people night and one of the things I identify pretty quickly was I’m bisexual and I like to look like male what is in Boise loss of the pool and I was saying like it was only really focusing on the female body is an object of sexual desire I’m going to stop at the educated myself about feminist pool and I was seeing this pattern repeated you know a lot of feminist poem being lesbian porn and so will. It’s being shocked from a female perspective and come to Italy versus gaze at the lens it doesn’t look any different from being shot from Head Resort from alpha Pack’s if you are still lovingly pining over these 7 in cups and I feel it’s the in order to stop to you really got some balance hey we needed to start shooting mail what is a sexy right so I’ll be sure to happen very produces have been doing this but in spanking those we know one doing it apart from a couple of gay sites to look into it and realize how extreme that kind of straight guy segregation was in the BDSM Community light in the UK unqualified to be like everything to do with find angle with a mint was anything with a female submissive so like GoGo might be included in that that’s not considered to be queer right because straight yet but if you’ve got a male submissive been committed by women by 9 then like male Studios the male bloggers the mail pass you can become aware if you wear Dynamics why I went to a spanking party in America that would be all these guys who would be wearing a dumb batch you know you got bad showing orientation and they be riding with the top bad and then they come up in 5 and they’re going to switch you know why is that secret it’s up to you if they know that you’re you’re a switch and I realize how deep this Prejudice cards you know it’s not Justin Bieber sound like that doesn’t offer a lot of him if I be against bisexual male mainstream Point form is you know if a man works with men and women there a lotof Regal Studios you weren’t hired them yeah yeah it’s it’s such an interesting gray area the whole double penetration no experience cuz he see that’s kind of hard to escape rubbing your penis against another man’s penis and I know yeah well that’s in membrane between the anus and the vagina much protection interesting isn’t so yeah I started to cut a critique a lot of the poem that I was saying and thank well I want to do something about this so she’s hanging in 2009 and I developed this concept of a site that didn’t segregate on the basis of orientation so it had female submission male submission meldonium male Mastiff female female stuff everything will enter one brief I didn’t want to kind of follow this received wisdom that all you’re going to lose your mail straight customers because they called back to see any gay stuff guys I’m sorry that was possible and then yes. About what else I want to do differently so yes she psa’s for sure she trans before missed right from the beginning like when I launched into it a Transformer that’s been the right from the start I’m done discriminate based on body type but he size skin color anything like that and fat as well I was shocked when I discovered in the UK in the BDSM scene on spanking phone scene to be paid asshole yeah even it says something like yeah so is that performing this really quite intense physical Ada Vox but the thing is that they is being sold to them like a free session with a dominatrix so they think they’re getting a good deal they would you think it’s worth that but the Corolla rail I will you get that is that those guys aren’t professionals they probably have a job they can’t show that face so they are in a little something and that just this like inanimate objects in the scene while the women is like posing for the camera and you don’t get any interaction between two contacts of the intimacy and if I’m watching a woman dominating man I want to see you last thing so I want him to be sexy as well I want him to be present when the cameras look at him I don’t want them to be focused on each other not one of them ignoring the other kind of so fat pay was one of the first principle there’s like if I’m going to get good Mouse house and I’m going to need to pay for it and what I discovered was that that was not a BDSM. Mulholland in the UK because no one has previously offered pay and so I was hoping to recruit from light that uses and the fastest team United like my friends like me out in the clubs and stuff and be like yeah it’s kind of given them a bit of a head start yeah and so but pay transparency fact hey they pay men and women the same you know it should you know it’s definitely a lot less cuz you’re not considered equal in the cell then the labor is different you know that your body is being put into a lot more stress you are more likely to experience abrasions like you’re going to be sore after being penetrated like is it hard work and so I do have different pay scales the bottoms and tops receiving a bee sting like a bee come back every day so I do. I do have based on how hot the job is but there’s no difference well this is going to end up being a reality TV show one of the top networks for dirty jobs or toughest jobs in Boston have you got that would be home and let you know the what it’s hot is a lot. No positive it’s cool so I had diarrhea since I went to two different name alone Society in 2011 the thing poster Tracy McCormick rolls like royalty you know I like trying to just reading that in times of working conditions and be ready humble and I can do feedback I like constantly looking to improve my game and Times of being super transparent giving formula to control denied being super chill about light respecting their preferences and not pressuring them requesting them and their experience are you fly like as a priority over the content I was guessing like really going to get basket that way around rather than that we had to get this no matter what it takes and I always say like if you want to know if I don’t ask me on the site right from the start like video you know I need the cameras running when someone calls cops and then you know I did not into the outtakes don’t just have the funny outtakes but like someone close cut how did the conversation that I made you feel good about it you know and show that The View that because of the phone right then Frank should like end of scene interviews you know that can go come to you and it was all like a great happy smiley videos of the end at the end of sheets that I didn’t enjoy and it’s like you’ve not been paid yet you haven’t signed a release yet is another bit of accent do you have to do to kind of be allowed to leave so you’re like yeah I had a great time this is fantastic and it doesn’t really tell you anything where is very smart and if they see the kind of you know you like interactions that happen between takes and just to kind of you know with people leaving around and having a great time that that tells you something and that’s much less likely to be active then someone speaking to the Cameron answering direct questions about like did you have fun music was I had fun you know that what you going to say no you’re not going to do that live on camera in 2011 and is Riyadh what every week with a bunch of sat behind the scenes video Russia flag in for the first year I was going to pay that much but had to do otherwise I might as well but you know like a try to take it seriously. Hyde some assistance. Just three years ago to the point where I was really happy with it I have the traffic I once had I had two cells I once said I could pay all my staff good Wright’s what I’ve been doing since the beginning but when I fast hide stuff I can’t afford to pay myself because I was paying them so I can pay them I like to pay me that there is money left over to pay me and I felt like I was getting so I wait for my work so that would be ideal but then got shot on a minute so you decided to yes. In a way that ultimately Cripple Creek business wow okay so that’s and that’s not this new bill that that was something else and they target you specifically or what what would what exactly was that factor that I just been choosing a whole bunch of new stuff with a colleague likes that stuff kinky sex stuff and we got together with all of us and show it was stuff that we like to do just in time script and it was really cool like really kind of hot rough sex and then like a couple of weeks I said they introduce this new Statue instruments that wasn’t even a parliamentary act like it didn’t get the bass hit it was just like a department pick up magic just produced it without any kind of price a painting that leaves marks kind of erotic choking V sting female ejaculation kind of wanting to do this like documentary showing Aquarius Xbox to the world so the neighbors like now you can still hasn’t been published for this reason and so it was a little bit but the reason all that stuff blessed with that in the UK we have this thing called the British border film classification and they classify films for Cinema release on DVD in 1518 for thoughtful and in the US the same is like 12 15 18 and then there’s this one goes all right team which is the one for like real sex like actual pulling people having sex but just like a sex scene was staged all right pain really doesn’t include much else other than real sex so if anything’s got any fetish material in that it won’t get classified even is already paying a release or dvd release me so it’s like the vanilla standard operating in a relatively kind of free environment and then in 2014 they decided to close that loophole and make it even say that now will the classification guidelines ulcer flights the internet so they already had a list of an old list of activities that wouldn’t have been able to be approved if it was the film where a DVD in that didn’t yet technically have the verbage on the on the books to include internet but that and and what was the Catalyst for that would you say someone is regulations 2014 and it piggybacked off Annie you know about audio visual Media Services of the EU Louis men’s to be about basically it says the online streaming services have to comply with the laws in a local country so it’s like your day was you couldn’t have Netflix showing stuff which like the BBC couldn’t show write it because it was published Ibis he’s still having a plywood details of that was like it was meant kind of competition local National Broadcasting Service why do they put out a business by the Internationals individual EU member states and none of the other countries like did they swear that this is just the UK who would like oh well we could also make sure that you have to comply with the BBC FC classification guidelines 2014 guidelines are based on you and it’s complicated but you know depends on President and so it was decades ago the recent KC Donut Lowell and the story of addicts and men’s velour currently is Health being what you could reasonably be prosecuted and charged with like if someone was recently requested for doing something when you come for the King Soopers doing that thing and they had been a case in 2012 and like I’ve been prosecuted for like selling gay fisting and gave me the assignment watersports DVDs and a jury UK people have seen that and been like know this isn’t it seem like a nice way of saying you know which perspective the right people want to watch it to watch that and say that case President should have meant that those acts would be considered for the PDF see God lines written years before. And I haven’t been updated with the chaos the case law has changed so it’s like wait you’ve got this list it’s like 10 is out of date with the case law and you’re playing at the internet which is like a whole new medium without even thinking that you should maybe bring it up-to-date with the current law in the country of what is considered the same it just seemed really frente read I see you guys you just saying so would that did that affect only UK producers or would that also affect I guess the whole point was for it to filter or to penalize content anywhere sourced from anywhere in the world that was being yeah that was accessible within the UK right so that that put a lot of pressure on another Studios and other websites that were yeah some what question with at least act like I’m like what the what the intention of the original EU law was but I certainly wasn’t intentional for UK interpretation of it yeah and so now moving moving forward to the the digital economy hack that actually would you want to start with or you want to get into that or do you have more to say about your the path of your website that gave us we should know what what how you adapted to that what you’re so basically I was investigated it was really obvious to me that I was the only spankings lights be investigated because I was being so I can talk to my head above the parapet and because I’ve been criticizing Baby Max 2014 website if they found me and breach which of the following must have been part of my family so I have like six months they found me and breach of a bunch of rules that have any content stuff and some other stuff and I have to pay my flight offline by this deadline and that was awesome deadline by which I have to file an appeal if I was going to appeal does running on behind the scenes drafting a pale I had legal help from backlash he would like her Freedom organization and my friend miles Jackman who is the kind of Topics in the UK light help me out with that as well but won’t let the appeal have been sent off the website taken offline I can let you have to just pull the plug and it was like you couldn’t hold of the file we had to break all of your El Paso case anyone have the oral stage light was it saves it was a lot of work and you couldn’t access anything anymore I then just have to sit on my hands for 10 months and wait to hear the results of my pill so for 10 months my websites the thing that I noticed any traffic and when I found out, so I said I’d won my appeal and I could reopen the site I like the business was right back where I’d been at the beginning so it was a moral Victory but in times of light my you know business item best years of my life into and thousands of pounds you know it was a didn’t believe me and if I could place on the one hand I got to publish a whole bunch of content which I thought I was never going to get published the one of the things that really you know when I said it’s offline was like I had a Year’s worth of content already paid for I already saw that could now publish I couldn’t get my money back from everybody but I said I was at risk of just lose the entire day so when I found I could be a pain I was like right yes this is a victory against the sunset going to reopen I’m going to stop publishing this content but I would like to know what I’m not going to published anymore because I feel like it’s quite unstable I’m sure enough like four weeks I got headlight of a tiny window think it’ll feel good about my situation after finding out who won my pill and then if it’s looking to be building table to Parliament for the summer recess I would quit I realize I was going to be like when I forgotten because my pillow lawsuit against me from collections but it didn’t exempt me from a future bills around 1 and I was just going to reassure you that anything could be classifiable whatever me ask you this is this is kind of a strategy that has been employed in in different contexts just to circumvent jurisdictional constraints and I’m just wondering if you would I know it would have been a probably be devastating to your brand to have to do this but given the climate it seems like the talent that you the talent that you’ve cultivated with the skill set to produce this art medium and the network that you have of performers did you ever think about her or do you think now about kind of either producing stuff and then licensing it to other countries or actually going leaving the country to contract with other the other producers or Studios where you could sort of just yet circumvent that that that just occurred last year has been sort of wrapping up the dreams of spanking projects because it would let you know my baby is labor of love is like with pus on the bus to go to buy Graffiti like it was really important to me and I haven’t been given the permission to sort wind up and publish the stuff I’d already shot for it I wanted to do that I wanted to get complete with that but in the future yeah I think like licensing stuff for the produces a definite something I want to do and like what is the director of the higher we oversee Studios exactly something I want to do but for the last chair light Jesus thinking I’ve been updating every week even though it hasn’t been making any money cuz my traffic like with a thought of what it was and sales were really low in my ice like stuff that I’d appreciate her going to other way so I was right back in like sausage made of just be like to have done this once already trying to stop over there if it wasn’t paying my rent so I had to kind of pay the rent and then while the oldest is going on you know I’m doing the time in this I was off-line the conversation around this look on Me Bill and particularly the policy that is really devastating beauty content is a traffic citation becoming mandatory for online phone in the UK and I had some time of educating myself coming a bit of a sort of expert in what is revocation for lane pool and would mean how it was that kind of evidence for and against it kind of like a 10000 watt consultations the government when they kind of opened it for like evidence of missions install and kind of fundraiser to try and get a bit of money back to the community in exchange for the casing on the bus so then when I’m doing physical work I’m painting now and so it was done just this light long slot for like the last year has been trying to run a membership site and sexual acts like on money and also do they just got the kissy all the while knowing that if you know we don’t succeed in all our goals with the fiscal complaining that the site is going to have a future so it’s been a tough time and visual economy Bell is just to make the end of it passes through Parliament I just did a massive update yesterday on the latest amendments and we just had an actual amounts in the UK yesterday’s it looks like it’s going to be rushed really quickly now if it passes a tool sorry it’s going to be play within a couple of weeks going to look like an old wax I’ve been doing for the last year’s to try and buy some bottles around different things they’re going to fax sex while kissing freedom of expression in different ways you know we’re going to find out pretty soon to what extent that paid off what do you think that timelines going to be in pass cuz I ask for the election okay well so it’s a big deal is there anything people can do now is there any kind of call to action to put pressure on anyone in the and the government to I mean I’m just curious what kind of rallying is happening around it especially now that seems like it’s kind of an Abrupt end on Friday which is really saying and some of the Amendments that we’ve managed to get through in the House of Lords about example the we managed to get the clothes about the B-52 have the content removed in the bell and replaced with just saying you couldn’t have any pool in the country illegally extreme pool which is a really narrow definition that most of his life that’s reality and animals and it just comes to me like to drape so that could cover consensual BDSM and serious injuries to a Nespresso genitals which could come a confederal BDSM but that’s a much smaller list of stuff is not allowed so you can basically say that you single-handedly or you and your your network of sexual Freedom campaigners basically protected the legal right to do fish sitting right on the Internet is supposed to be like to be reactive on this but yeah I mean I kind of thing after I’ve listened like 7 evidence submission and I’ve seen some of that weddings. To come up in the debates I think it has submitted a small difference which is nice feeling like it better than it will be for nothing amendment is now up for criticism on Friday and Dez Losa Christian anti-gay organizations were going to oppose the amendment so all of this work is like Bixby does Master Chief risk being undone on Friday only women know how to please other women and it makes them jealous is that what they’re felt it’s really it’s really pathetic and in that’s absurd is staying in on falak E Noor to the Safeway to have sex like if you don’t mind where to buy HIV rash kiwi good for them to learn about and realized that kind of on the menu because it’s much less risk of like guys in pregnancy so yeah I mean a lot of love by the Creek community and so it doesn’t surprise me that a Christian organization cat cold that have funds to conferences which promoted a confession comes like he’s going to be able to bring back that you can’t have this thing that does not surprise me at all but yeah sorry we need to write to arm piece I guess I’m trying to find someone and ask him is when I stand up and say no I think this amendment is good thing but it’s very hard to find parliamentarians willing to back by the poker face even consensual bond that pullover fee well it’s interesting cuz you can I mean I have a different I have a diverse array of perspectives on all this stuff but it certainly is a double standard to allow for especially having just the amount of violent acts the murder and in gun violence and everything that you would see on any mainstream all the video games all of the TV shows you know anything goes for all that kind of violence and then if there’s one drop of pleasure mix with the violence it becomes satanic and their minds in a sectional couch with her that I think I sterilized you know it’s hard as hell to difference. Ended light because Game of Thrones is officially end time it made it or not pornographic they can show you like beatings and right lower the stacks but the moment you have that on a website that’s intended to arouse suddenly that becomes an acceptable it’s like WellPoint is entertainment and there’s nothing wrong with getting aroused by something that doesn’t mean you can donate it just means that you’re having a reaction that seems like a really is so wouldn’t in any of the debate around for mixed content of these things that I could be a fantasy role-play pretends they assume the oil be a time is like a recording of domestic violence like that’s how they took it okay that I cared so that’s the Lacerta linchpin of the argument so it was is there some clear distinction legally between I’m basically based on what you just said that that the free sample of Game of Thrones being permissible but other forms not is it because it’s a certain production value of the studio over because they have better lawyers are going to have to win that it’s meant to be like if the whack it’s only a prince play produced the purpose of sexual arousal what is the head seems like you know there’s other legal standards where you would have to just for a lot of things they would say if x if x percentage of the time duration of a unit of media is going to be so does that mean you just have to have more dialogue and then it becomes narrative but because it’s on his website that calls itself a pool inside I don’t know I think the double-sided is very hard to defend I’m not interested in trying to defend it like I think I’d like to make sure you’re not there you go that’s a good way to look at it and we should just be great paying sexual content will wonder if you could if you start calling at anthropological ethnography and protected as part of the academic freedom to the government over the ivms she successfully one herpe on the basis that was a feminist article for Jax because I saw it was about you know punishing men with the patriarchy subscribe to the rhetoric in order to have a right to sex while cuz you know we won’t be one is fed as I expected to be listen to four agencies be respected so I can send to be on it and rice. Dismissed is irrelevant and we want that to play the old tax records because it’s the people who’d wouldn’t know how to use the language if maybe most need those rights right yeah this is well with them we need more academic feminist to get in the game and start to help with the lawmaking and counter legislation and you know what some feminist Alliance beside right with all of these laws are coming from Auntie’s Xbox feminism like the denial letters I just don’t really care but it’s the women who think the old poem is degrading will put his violent with X back is traffic hanging who advocated a slight passionately time time again and the guy at the mail at least he’s getting viruses going with it maybe you’re right and there’s no strong female voice being like sex like is why we have the right to consent to what we do without anybody’s you know if you have a problem with Colossus Xbox challenge policy don’t tell him if I can go through mechanisms and sex is not shameful we can have a sexy want to have yeah I know what could be more of a not only harm reduction but also just a radical feminist paradigm shift to say that hey if you want to if you don’t want to work for the man and you and you choose to be a sex worker you can make more money and have better pay and better working conditions to make queer porn with female feminist porn producers then having being pimped out made my decision is this black but in the meantime you know a little put up because of trying to do our own weapon conditions come painting and set some standards in a community standards but then it really would like a recognition well yeah this is this is again just feeling that it would be great to hopefully for the people who were invested in this to to do more Outreach to get to more traditional feminist organizations to support this. The debate you know I think that’s a really valuable things to do right to your female legislators try and get them on the side and rib pain from festivals that has so many now and they show such radical be used for Creative Innovative intimate films to find employment Hub and realize how many possibilities there is River City media to be truly gorgeous and human unpack your phone if you care about this then you can just leave each of the three sites which you know you’re exploiting fullness and take you back in a few industry you needs to put money where your mouth is and guy said the Indy produces who is making the ethical stuff and support them very beautiful yeah I’m so there with you I’m glad I’m glad we got to put out some some call to actions and I likes to say that if everybody follow me on Facebook and I said $1 each a month then I can go full-time and knocks the best waxes people can chip in $1 at $5 a month whatever they think they can afford it all adds up because I’m is distributed is chameleons have one person cancel the subscription and still supported by a nice time to the people and I every other guy pays for the day of my time so it labels me to take time off from having to do paint watch in order to do that was important to me right on you know what that makes me wonder are you do you listen to Susie Q and the horror cast yeah I’ve have you considered asking her to be a guest on the show I’m sure she would love to promote your efforts yeah please do I just been binge listening I’ve caught up on almost all of the episodes of the last several years and I feel that she absolutely is the the superhero in of the sex work industry and now she’s playing a very powerful important role in the Free Speech Coalition professionally so I think we’re going to see the changes that were talking about the Coalition building and the bridge building a between the camps of feminism and certainly there’s just so much more in my opinion I’m seeing that the the political climate if you will in the United States is is bringing people together in a new way so it’s this is the time this is a like a window of opportunity to really steal those collisions because people now steal the threats that the intersectionality of feminism is now turning into a a major pile-up it’s such a disaster this situation is is going to get people out of their bubbles you know big time and then if I back. It’s so depressing I mean we have to go in there so fast is happening people like why do I need to leave the country and I was like no I shouldn’t have to use my homie. I’m hardly ever Miss hanako family cuz I know it’s like well maybe we could all leave myself oh yeah you got to establish the Island of Lesbos to serve Renaissance an actual nation of of queer feminist pornographers maybe get a get a ship in and be an international waters you know I just get a cruise ship and bring all the the queerdos together and you know outside of international waters Irving outside of any national boundary so that she could be a and we’re actually hosting a new camp this year is no way which is the white Regional bun you know you like the bunny man they have like yeah end of the count that we’re coasting it is cooled re acuerdo say we’re going to be doing a bit and create a kind of Oasis Of Love. well right on well yeah I would say you know it is the Free Speech Coalition cover is covering all of these important legal challenges facing the entire adult industry and so I would definitely say that you probably I Don’t Need No it’s it’s I will be a good a good move to yes so we’ve got a few minutes left here to to talk about I like I said like to it’s kind of a in a warm down a bit from that the intensity is building up you know and and just talk a little bit about well how about a bit about how we can Empower people to 2 BND pornographers because the more people are out there doing their you know becoming joining the movement artistically the more the more space there will be and then the more constituents there will be two to vote for the stuff Southeast us and I am feeling poets by the Sea get you something but yeah I mean in cameras and lights you can be youtiful cinematic stuff on an iPhone and not show light I’ve seen phone screen to point festivals that are showing in iPhone I mean you have to be a nerd right you know I mean something that is itself you have to be comfortable with software willing to install stuff and read documentation and teach yourself how to use it but if you ever fooled around in Photoshop then you’ll be able to pick up Adobe Premiere Pro Final Cut pretty easily like if you have any visual graphic artists sang or if you’ve ever used like oh. C o n e o d i just like you know it’s just one extra Dimension from that so if you’re the sort of person he’s fooled around of the computer making stuff before then you’ll find pool in quite easy today I’m self-taught like I never learned how to do video editing for anyone else yeah I said that you had definitely the the technology is more accessible and it only gather the entry-level the barrier to entry with the technology is almost non-existent sick the power is in everyone’s pocket is indeed I you just need to have an internet connection and it helps if you’re a bit of an Internet resident you know like if you spend a lot of time on social media already you know how that works cuz I mean in deep one of his rely on social media to get Silas is do the marketing and see if you’re coming to the house without you knowing that you could help us and he’s like an offline person I think you might struggle to get of you is if you already like live on Twitter and I’m glad that you will do fine right well that’s okay so that’s that’s a some good point of questions there is it a I am very cautious about breaking United States federal laws and being in compliance with all these complex layers of legalese that you you know really it’s it comes down to a lot of it is a form of digital entrapment really if you produce content you know and if you don’t have even if you do have a really high and lawyer there’s a lot of moving targets and there’s a lot of vague language and in the laws and then now there’s a there’s States within the us that are starting to take actions similar to what you’re you’re dealing with were there would be a major game-changing requirements to you know you can’t just put something up on the web because if it’s at all accessible that one yeah which was which was luckily I brought down but there’s there’s there’s new stuff coming up that similar that would be making it so that you would have to you would have to have a huge budget to hand code or to create custom code there’s no one has like a module that meets the specifications of these new laws that could you just plug in your your WordPress module and it complies instantaneously with whatever is happening that’s a long way off so it’s going to be no so I guess the question is really what do you it’s a different landscape obviously legally and inflict and what not but just even the ethical stuff about age verification and and being able to show the world that porn producers ethically minded feminist minded are are doing their best to keep content out of the eyeballs of minors and obviously be compliant with doing good record-keeping and verifying the age of performers in 1 hour to rationalize even if you’re working with your love is new friends new probably all going to be like exchange paperwork at Contract Heidi Schultz keep records if you use the big kind of video on mine sites like hipster style then they’ll handle all of the legal stuff for you so you aren’t I mean for the content stuff in the UK like people investigated Patient First on Pocket Edition economy growth rings in HB Navy requirements to and it’s very hard for small produced to Ford cuz you have to pay per visit at your side and most people don’t want to send her style of the traffic that’s how it’s going to work okay well I got it I just want to zoom in on that for a second so there are they creating a a registry where you the traffic to your website each person would have to go through their sort of a guy or just be interested in chasing profit know it’s going to be free market they’ve got a whole bunch of like private companies who’ve already developed IV solution for the Navy stations on Mickey lights there’s nothing to make sure that they respect you as a courtesy what time would I need to take a database if you know it will the sites that use of his looks hadn’t what they paid for and then like as high as well. They ceballos like my name so yes you’re going to be liable to make sure they’re not going to take that’s the other quote you know if a hacking is the biggest give me the Ashley Madison one resulted in suicide mindgeek Padres have to breach so yeah it’s very worrying and then you know style produces being penalized at once recognized by the cost of this another ones were being regulated by government was just saying we’ve written an IV solution you need to use it it’s free will be like well okay cool but instead I have to force my site visitors to use in Secure Solutions organized like everything I have to pee like 10 times more than I’m currently running an income from sales on doing that like no thank you what is the the are you from so I’m I’m I’m not as educated about this is is say probably eventually will be as I continue to produce content but I have been using the strategy that that you kind of mention which would be to Outsource the legal liability to web platforms that are establishing that do have all of that third-party record-keeping options you click a box in the I do webcamming to so anyone who’s a cam performer will it it to an extent I mean there’s any anybody could come under scrutiny technically in certain ways but for the most part you know it’s it’s well it’s the whole webcamming thing basically is a gray area that doesn’t have its its operating in a massive from anyway yeah and then I guess the question I have is said the around the. XXX domain standard and I feel like there’s this is very vague to me now but I I just feel like what this could eventually evolve to if the if the the big players in the industry they might have to become somewhat socialistic or so much communistic and in a sense of well maybe the thing to do is to create that top-level XXX domain space or something like that where the porn all of the porn that’s produced in the world is is somehow survived from a sector of the internet that is kind of a centralized is that scary but in a way I feel like the the international coalitions of adult content producers could probably you know I guess make a sort of the same concept of an insurance the way Insurance works time to do this in two minutes to take to conceive after so much, you know like an old poem is on XXX XXX are made by the way let you know how much they cost expensive things like 10 times more than adult cam XXX like me needs one pressing the button for an individual countries just like we just got to find it you know that pain is much more than what if it has to be said everything has it all over the place and I don’t want that segregation light but you’re right that we do need International standards the idea of local government imposing local censorship and going to bring an ISP blocking besides that don’t comply with the various roles that introduces of the government is just going to stop buying porn sites that it doesn’t like from being viewed it in the UK a tool you know light in the same way that China and Saudi Arabia and Iran control that internet like I thought we might be a free country so I just think that we need to start developing resilience Solutions a distribution enough to resist that kind of effort United everybody needs to be using a VPN for stars I’m quite interested in Kind of Night by posting like as not going to accept Bitcoin and things about him being with Lion on like the Visa and MasterCard regulations is it was a logical person to ship that controls pool and we kind of con Sal like these are muscadine except I need money for any files of videos that increase blood stop music on have any menstrual pain Eva where is if we start to kind of Branch out and when not putting all your eggs in one basket let me know it’s hosty relying on any individual platform will not tell Siri that an individual billing provider we not talk to anyone TLC but we kind of spreading out then we’re going to be able to weather the storm a lot better yeah well I always think about to get blockchain I don’t know it’s so do you know much about that or no I’m not an expert on bitcoin a total is so stupid, like I said we have to have it running well it’s it’s cute it’s not it’s very scalable system it seems to me and hope that we can get you plenty of funding to continue with all the great work you’re doing and I would love to see you connect with the FSC the Free Speech Coalition because I think you would be a great asset to their efforts and they would they would probably fight together I mean before Millions is like you said That’s the Way Forward show all right all right well yeah let’s you go for for the David thank you so much Pandora I learned so much and that will definitely be in touch and good luck with everything when shaving it when it’s out alright thanks take care thank you for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to sustaining and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been at Township Park. Com Thomas gay

Best Practices for Male Sexual Healers with Charlie Glickman PhD TPP108


Charlie Glickman picIn this episode I’m blessed to be joined by Charlie Glickman, an acclaimed sexuality educator, sexual healer, and much more. His insights into both the glory and peril of sexual healing are at times heart warming and at times deeply chilling. Of all the conversations I’ve had on and off the podcast about these issues, this is one of the most raw and real.  He graciously holds space for me to vent and seek his guidance and offers an exemplary demonstration of how he’s able to be a masterful healer of healers and a teacher of teachers.

About Charlie:

Charlie Glickman PhD is a sex & relationship coach, a certified sexuality educator, and an internationally-acclaimed speaker. He’s certified as a sexological bodyworker and has been working in this field for over 20 years. His areas of focus include sex & shame, sex-positivity, queer issues, masculinity & gender, communities of erotic affiliation, and many sexual & relationship practices. Charlie is also the co-author of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners. Find out more about him on his website or on Twitter and Facebook. For Charlie’s sex coaching services, visit Make Sex Easy.

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear beloved welcome to Township Point podcast episode number 108 I’m very excited to be talking with Charlie Glickman he is a sex and relationship coach out of Seattle Washington and has an amazing blog I was checking on his website and seeing that to he also provides coaching services for sexuality Educators helping them to develop curricula and start your business and a whole lot more so I’m really excited that to know that there’s that kind of mentorship opportunity in the world and so looking forward to hearing all about it if you want to start a Charlie would you like to tell us about your personal life history and background that led up to your playing the roles that you play now in the sexuality education field I started off as a sex educator actually back in 1989 when I was in college I came out as queer and I started doing a campus Outreach LGBT Outreach for the other students and as a man doing this work especially in the years before we had any kind of treatment for HIV of course anytime I did an Outreach against somebody would ask me about safer sex or they would ask me about HIV so I figured okay I have to learn about this but when you are talking to people about safer sex well then you have to talk with them about a communication in negotiation and once you start doing that people start asking you how to give a better blow job or how do I tell my boyfriend how I want him to touch me and I realized with sexuality that everything is interconnected you really can’t just talk about one piece in isolation in for a number of years after that I worked volunteering at some different agencies in the San Francisco Bay Area I did say for sex Outreach I was a Rape Crisis counselor but it wasn’t until I got hired at goodbyes gracians which is be a premier women friendly sex positive toy store and I worked there for a number of years your while I was there I went back to grad school I thought I wanted to be a professor so I doubt a PhD in sex education and then realize that wasn’t what I wanted to do and when I left Good Vibrations in 2013 to go on tour for my book The Ultimate Guide to prostate pleasure that was when I stepped into coaching as a full-time thing you before that it had always been part of my work as an educator but that was when I stepped into it full-time and it’s been an amazing experience and I think a lot of my journey here I needed to grow into this I couldn’t have done this when I was younger now I’m not saying that other people can’t do it when they’re younger but for me on my trajectory I was 43 when I stepped into coaching so I’ve been a sex educator my entire adult life but the coaching is more recent and I find it incredibly fulfilling I I love helping individual couples polygroups learn how to overcome their sexual difficulties and I love knowing that right now at this very second somebody is having a better orgasm because of something that I taught them you know I and it makes me really happy to see how the field has grown in the last few years there when I started out you know in 1989 it was possible for one person to know everybody else in the field cuz there weren’t that many people and these days I meet people at conferences or workshops or when I travel and it’s amazing how many folks are doing this work in it and it’s about time because the world desperately needs healthy relationship to sexuality and this is one way how we we get there we are glad you like I guess it’s the last piece is that some of it for me is that I’m always exploring my own relationship to my sexuality and so working as a coach it gives me an additional motivation to take workshops or read books or do some research it’s it’s very much fuel my professional work is really fueled by my personal interests animals people in the field I think I could say the same thing about them yeah it’s very so diverse in its I guess it’s kind of like I was just at the auto shop with this family-owned auto shop that I’ve been going to for over 10 years and I asked him how do you guys keep up with all the changes in automobile automotive technology and they said we just luckily the guy YouTube now but you know they they just sort of figure it out so as all of the sexualities, Blossom and diversify into. Infinite forms it must be very exciting at to feel to have a professional budget to stay abreast with new identities and new practices and rediscovered ancient practices and it’s one of the challenges working in this field really anything having to do with sexuality is that we’ve lost so much information and it’ll be interesting to see what happens as the information age takes over but there have been sexologist and writers and researchers whose work has been destroyed and so we have to ReDiscover this over and over again and end so this is an interesting Arrow because we’re keeping this information in some ways more more thoroughly than we used to so is it what areas do you find most of Interest are you most passionate about I guess the prostate is one thing we can definitely go into cuz you just did that book but other brother are there areas that you feel that your top wheelhouse Shore kind of thing I do a lot of work with people who want to explore how to be more present in their bodies how to experience pleasure without dissociating or checking out how to tell a partner what they want me so much of my work is about how do I identify what you desire and how to talk about it with a partner so that you can get it again and it seems that seems like such an easy thing to say but I don’t know anybody in the world who hasn’t faced challenges with that at one point or another I also do a lot of work helping folks Explorer aspects of their sexuality that they didn’t know they were going to enjoy it so sometimes that might involve a G-spot clay or anal player prostate massage of those are some of my favorites because there are aspects of sexuality that people hear a lot about but they don’t necessarily know what to do and they’re also ways of having sex where a little information makes a huge difference in terms of your experience I love teaching people new ways to have orgasms read the last thing I’ve really been enjoying lately I have a workshop called somatic Sexual Healing where I take some of the somatic practice has been I’ve learned along the way and I adopted them to fit within the scope of practice that therapist use and so therapist can use them if their best can touch a client and they can do some of these exercises are therapists who choose not to can also died a couple through the exercise in and what I love about that is it’s one thing for me to tell you oh you know you should tell your partner how you want them to touch you it’s different when you have the experience of trying to put it into words and then talking about that and in real time so I love teaching therapist how to get better at supporting people sexualities it’s it’s long overdue I think absolutely and this is very important space to be developing in the policy and legality space to so do you have experience at all and I sort of political activism sensurround bringing more Consciousness and awareness around healing touch and professional full body healing what not fair it’s always a tricky dance because nobody workers are taught you know raping and looking away when the client is turning over and therapists are being told no touch at all and I understand the reasons for it but you know there’s therapist you won’t even shake their clients hands and we already live in such a touch phobic society that when you add that to it I think it creates even more disconnection the factor there is who is this touch for their what I’m doing somatic work with my clients to touch is for them not for me and I think that’s really the key to being clear in your ethics around it if it was this for what is the intention behind it if the intention behind an exercise is to satisfy my own desires well then that’s not ethical at all that’s not why my clients come to me but if the intention behind the touch is to help somebody learn something new about embodiment or learn something new about their erotic experience that’s a very different situation and I I would love to live in a world where more people understood the distinction between those two things well yeah I like the to recommend that people learn how to love themselves and others by trained professional lovers who that’s what they do all day everyday because they live up to your meme it seems like a no-brainer but we’re a long way from having sexual Arts be as is cherished and permitted is as martial arts but martial arts you know you sign a waiver that says you could be killed on professional who’s ethics are not always very clear either I actually think anybody who is doing Hands-On work would do well to take Betty Martin to work shop like a pro you can find it at Betty Martin. Org she is a sexological bodyworker and she has developed this amazing Workshop that helps practitioners understand how to be more clear in in the intention and I say that because I have heard too many stories from client students about teachers and practitioners who cross boundaries or push too fast or pressured somebody into doing something that they weren’t really ready for and that’s a real problem yeah so this is kind of a deep study of mine I’m in the process of developing a very novel practice and I have all of the the reaching out to mentors and elders and other practitioners that I’m kind of narrowed it down to just like a doctor wouldn’t want to be doing a breast exam without a nurse present you should you probably if you’re smart and you’re a man is mainly if your man you you should probably not want to be in a situation where there could ever be a possibility for a dispute or discrepancy and what was you know conducted the conduct and the agreements around the conduct and the response to feed back around what’s happening so we’re having very clear guidelines for the container of sexological Bodywork session all touch is one way from the practitioner to the client the practitioner stays fully clothed and other practitioner uses gloves for any genital or anal touch and and that also goes a long way towards making sure that the container is held really solidly because especially the one way Touch by touch and fully clothed that’s not something that works for all modalities that’s not going to work necessarily for country has for example but that’s another way that right yeah well thank you for that definitely is nice to know that there’s reference points for best practices and what would you say then are some qualities maybe some dye self diagnostics are things that people are aspiring to be on this path or maybe they already have a practice and they’re listening to this and they kind of aren’t aren’t first or or contracted with the sexual logical bodyworker at the Cole protocol let’s say where I mean I’ve I’ve read some of the benefits of that those documents and they’re very solid and very strict and you know to hold that title in to represent that training you have to really be an Integrity policy against for example if if people were to with or without formal training or certification want to be a friend or a lover or someone who is if they if they couldn’t afford that kind of work but they know that well this something really magical happens when you massage a G-spot or prostate for you no more than a few seconds really with a certain quality of attention and magical things can happen that are very healing and in if people start to discover that that is one of many experiences to be explored in a therapeutic contest against the question will be how how would internally what process should have should a provider kind of go through you know staying focused breathing is are there are there I guess who would you say is like a habits to get into mental habits and physical habits to to really solidly bill that that that container in that quality of it being one directional in it and like you said who is the touch for just maintaining that no discipline I think there’s a couple of things one is I think it’s absolutely true that lovers and partners can provide some incredible healing touch but I think it’s also important for people who are are coming from that lover space to not to not overextend what they can do and what I mean by that is that if you’re if you’re somebody’s lover you can definitely bring the nurturing healing touch to your partner but it’s not going to be the same thing as if they were working with a practitioner not not better or worse it’s just different and I say that because when you’re when you’re with somebody who you have a personal relationship with it’s really easy for things to get money because your own personal desires are going to start coming into play one of the things that happens as folks go through their training at least many trainings is learning to set your own erotic energy aside or maybe not erotic energy but your own erotic and needs aside so that you can be in service and it’s very it’s not impossible but it’s very difficult to come from a place of genuine service when you have that kind of personal connection with someone write your own agenda shows up so that’s one thing I think another thing is getting really clear on how you talk about things and how you communicate about things because you can only take somebody as far as you’ve gone yourself and something I have learned about sexual communication is that almost everybody thinks that they’re better at it than they actually are there’s times when I don’t tell my partner what I want or I go along with something that I’m not really a fully yes to because I don’t feel like getting into it with you everybody does that sometimes but really didn’t clear on your where where is your shadow and where is your motivation and am I coming you are you coming at this experience because of some of your own shadow and it’s funny because your people often say that money changes everything and it gets in the way I got to say when I started working as a practitioner and getting paid to do some of this it actually made my personal relationships much cleaner because I was able to see the distinction between the equal exchange of lovers which is different from the equal exchange of practitioner client and if you’re my client all of my focus is on you it’s not about what I want is not about what I need if I need to get some emotional support around my experience I take that to one of my colleagues I’m because getting paid makes a clear Container makes for a clear boundary in a personal relationship it’s really easy to tell somebody oh you know I want to do this thing because I want to take care of you but there might also be a motivation in there of I want to get laid or I’m feeling lonely and I want some connection or I just read about this new thing and I’m really excited to show it off this this new technique it gets a little it gets a little muddy sometimes your partner with also be sort of most often feeling guilt or obligation to reciprocate you know did they might offer a friend to shoulder rub but really most of the time professional body workers will say hey maybe you should go be somebody else to get your frozen shoulder fixed because I would really like for this to not feel like work so it’s really important especially for the number of times I have heard a hoax of any gender but particularly women saying things like oh yeah so this guy I was dating he said that this was going to be you know what this healing experience but it really just felt creepy a lot of men do that and I think it’s important for us to shift out of that that’s important gas so that this it’s such a slits someone as one of my friends said sex is the slipperiest of slopes and it certainly is so yeah part I feel I’ve been in it I will consider myself an activist around this issue and so yeah you’re and I appreciate your insights in and being straightforward that’s really the the the the vibration of the energy or the experience that is the absolute polar opposite of the intention of making someone feel safe and supported in and healed and nurtured so I definitely want to Explore More of the what factors could be mitigated around that creepiness vibration and comes up and I guess took to launch that that inquiry I would say I had said I feel like it’s a guess but it’s it it’s maybe it’s an assumption but in my experience it’s it’s been spot-on and I feel like it’s protected me but to have if you were male having a female nurse out-of-sorts if not a nurse practitioner by training a person with experience in a modality where they have the they have an awareness of what’s Happening they know what to expect and how to respond and they’re being a very much especially if you’re a man and you’re doing Hands-On pelvic touch work your focus is in that realm and you’re queuing into that so deeply so you wouldn’t even know what the facial expressions are happening on the person you wouldn’t maybe even here if they’re murmuring things that are reason you no red flags to back off and so to not have somebody there to relay information into be doing the the Care at at the top half of the body either way I see it I think it’s a real other just it to Institute that is as a as a policy or is a best practice seems like it would eliminate a lot of even amongst things lovers in in in addition to practitioners and clients but just that the I’m curious if you have if you have any case studies or anecdotal knowledge about how yeah but the people that I don’t know another reason why the practitioner client relationship is different than the love of relationship because you’re absolutely right in my personal life if I’m having sex with somebody there are times when I’ll be so focused on my experience that I might miss some of that important information but when I’m in practitioner mode tracking what my hands are doing I’m tracking their body the breathing what they’re saying what they’re energetic field is doing and it’s because my erotic energy is not getting in the way the same way that giving somebody a backrub because you’re a trained massage provider you’re paying attention to things in a very different way than giving some of the backrub because you know you’re trying to seduce them so maybe that’s part of the two so when you when you were saying that women have reported to you when lovers or infatuated friends or whatever the dynamic is when they come across as that you know what someone just said this to me recently A friend of mine who is a in the transformational festival movement and consider yourself part of the you no more conscious radical left and green sort of movement where there’s a lot of new age spiritual type people but she basically said you have people these guys are scary some of these spiritual guys are scarier than the the jocks and the bad boys out in the mainstream because at least you know what to expect from those guys but the spiritual guys will come up an inch in her where she said they try to you know get their use their woohoo to get in her womb you know so I think if somebody is is going to try to offer sexual healing for free I’m very skeptical of it I’m skeptical of it because it actually requires a deep level of training and it requires a really solid ethical container and honestly you know if somebody said to me you know oh well you have a you know you have a back injury I’ll spend two hours working on your shoulder and your back for free I would wonder what they were getting out of it and I think when I think there’s a lot of before I know that there’s a lot of men who will say oh you know I just love doing this I don’t need anything from it and I’ve known one or two guys were that’s been true but the majority of the cases that I know of there’s actually an agenda there and and unfortunately that makes it much harder for everybody because now it decreases trust and it means that somebody might be less likely to contact me or one of my colleagues because they’ve had this experience with some random dude at a festival dominates the Integrity of the whole field already of a provider relationship is it fine to keep since cleaner reminds me of one other thing that I think anybody who does this work or if he’s thinking about doing this work should also be familiar with is a how to deal with trauma because so many people are dealing with sexual trauma people of all genders and if you’re not ready to hold space for somebody moving through healing from trauma are not ready to do this one I unfortunately I find it I just assumed that everybody is a trauma Survivor because I’m wrong less often this is getting really deep in in in powerful yeah I am I guess I want to ask you now because these are if I just I just interviewed this woman he’s got a blood clot sluttygirlproblems and I’ve heard about just these cultural cliches pretty girl problems and pornstar girl problems instead of and it’s what we’re talking about is male sexual heater problems to sort of lament a little bit if you will open up a little bit and now there is a flip side to the dynamic that that we were just talking about which is the sort of stereotypical creepy woo Predator you know Festival guy who wants to use healing has a ruse to be a sex junkie you know her and sort of a telling a woman whatever she wants to hear or sort of using this social engineering pick up Artistry that is creepy because it’s manipulative in it’s not truly transparent and there’s a shadow of how many times this week the same lines were used it were used to know you’re the goddess of you know the perversion of of that divinization that Tantra is going for but you know so we have basically we’re pretty well-versed in understanding that you had a higher advanced level of being practitioners or or doing the stuff you know how to say as a way of life and then just even the common way people give young people though if they have any intuition they will sense that and hopefully be repulsed by it and hopefully have good friends around them to protect them especially if they’re on substances at a festival but having sort of covered that I would say now here’s the other flip side of that which is it there if you are a whatever whatever gender but we’ll just say mail for now for the purposes conversation it’s another issue to be outspoken as a Healer with whatever you know professional hat that you’re wearing or whatever boundaries or compensation schemes you might have within having let’s just say women want want to think they are the ones with the agenda there if they come up and say I just want to Healing I don’t want to be your to I don’t want to take you away from your work or put you into a monogamous relationship with guilt in and trap you with emotional manipulation so that I can parade around with you and you be my my man there’s also the shadow of the secrets of healing in an inappropriate manner where it’s it’s a it’s not the guy using the healing to get in the women’s pants it’s the woman using her trauma to get in the men’s in the man’s pants or in the man’s hands or in the man’s life and I’m wondering if that obviously this is could sound very anti-feminist or something but really it’s I want to be safe and protecting and understanding everybody so do you have any thoughts on that variation of that I’ve experienced more is when somebody is wanting wanting that kind of deep healing experience and rather than being willing to approach me as a provider you know they’ll flirt with me or the piano and and gets money that’s not it’s really muddy and I think there’s a lot of reasons for that and I hope that didn’t sound like oh yeah I’m so sexy these women are putting their that’s not what I mean but it’s happened a few times where somebody will try to engage me on a personal level when was there really wanting is my Professional Services and when I noticed that happening I’ve just developed a very easy response which is a hey you know so it sounds like what you’re looking for is search semi-professional offerings on I’d be happy to talk with you about that here’s my business card right because this festival or this party you know maybe one of us is Trunk or not sober in some other way or there’s no confidentiality because there’s people all around why don’t we schedule a Skype call to talk about what’s going on and how I can help because I do think you’re right there’s this new in the way that there are men who will present themselves as offering healing in order to get laid there are some women who will offer some kind of erotic energy in order to get the key you know this this isn’t restricted to that particular gender Dynamic but I see that’s most often in that way right so this is his sister sticky sticky territory so this isn’t until the next the next level of complexity of this conundrum really and I think you’ve already laid out good best practices of boundaries and everything you’re saying is just back to an important distinction and and holding up your your boundaries in in your professional Ethics in all circumstances and that’s commendable so you know I’ve definitely had times when I was not as practiced with it as I am now there’s not a lot of folks who are practitioners who were struggling with this and just know that everybody struggles with this to I mean your wisdom comes from experience and experience comes from messing up yeah and we can stand on the backs of giants who has fallen many times with her stumble but hopefully you’re not falling so so here’s the next level where he did it just gets even more tragically comedic fortunately but I’m sure we’ll find the Glorious way ship to navigate through so it’s a if I if I can piece this together it would be so when you become a highly skilled practitioner or experience than again not to say that in a egotistical way but it’s just a fact you know if you were you know I like to use the martial arts analogies I mean if you were if you were a black belt you should not be street fighting because you could seriously hurt people and they don’t even know what they’re up against they don’t know it’s not an equal match so you have to use your skill two of you don’t you just stop going to the bars so you know you just in the chits it’s so interesting me the curve of the better you are at violence if it’s in a traditional martial arts training contacts the less violence you will encounter in life because you have respect for the human body and mind Spirit soul excetera and there’s an interesting what I’m observing just personally in my own journey and what I’m observing certainly watching other people make these mistakes and just you know wincing sing oh I’m so glad I’m avoiding those those those negative circumstances so what that all that is to say that the level of discipline and sort of self vigilance that you have to have carrying yourself kind of holding onto the sacred you could if you believe it it’s sacred healing Divine energy or if it’s just methodical you know mechanical procedures with the hands and you know that whichever way you look at it the fact is you are a a a powerful healing force to be reckoned with by anybody’s heart anybody’s ego in anybody’s way of getting in you know how to getting into relationships or getting or hooking up for getting it on so being so in this world now the problem is you can’t just date people from this disability and mainstream are pornstars calls mainstream non adult performers civilians because they’re in a sort of separate now you know subculture secret society almost where they’re very open and not super neurotic about you know being naked in a lot of things kind of evaporate that you know change their Dynamic so this not to have it be a dating ever love line dating advice kind of show but I mean what what issues do you encounter and what wisdom and intelligence do you have around okay well how do you adjust date and how do you find two people as civilians I often tell people in the field right that it’s very difficult to date models because you’ve gotten to it a certain point in your own trajectory you is hard to find people who you can meet as equals and its importance to do that for your own safety yeah I’ve seen a lot of folks try to get involved with somebody who is more towards the muzzle end of the spectrum and and it’s difficult to coach your partner I have to admit I find so I often describe myself as a sex geek and the people who I resonate best live in my personal life as if my sexual partners are also sex games they don’t need to be a professional sex Geeks but they need to be sexy when I talk about sex Geeks the best comparison I have is you sex Geeks are to sex what food is our to food like the people who like to eat out of that food and where did this come from in this interesting combination in this new technique I learned I find for myself bed and if somebody isn’t operating at that on that plane out at that level then we we have a nun if relationship having said that at least in the professional sexy geek Circle and I see this also in Tantra circles are you looking specifically at male female dating there are more women looking for men than there are men looking for women so there is a gender imbalance there that can often be I can also be tricky and so you know I’ve known a number of female practitioners who have basically found Partners who had a lot of promise when they met and they had some coaching Dynamic to sort of get the guy fully up to speed and and again I don’t want that to sound arrogant but when you spend you know when you spend a few years thinking and talking about sex all the time you know if it becomes very difficult to then go back to what it was like before right yeah you really have to find people who can play at your level or you have to be willing to train somebody to that point I mean that’s the same if you are a tennis player right you’re going to have more fun playing with someone who’s at your level very similar so now here okay now if it couldn’t that then I appreciate all that good that’s and I under a lot of women who are evolving rapidly discovering their anatomy and having a deep relationship and using the Yoni eggs and the mirrors and doing Yoni steam baths and having Circles of work emitz it’s unbelievable how rapid the the cat is coming out of the bag with female sexual empowerment and how far back in the Dark Ages the masculine Paradigm is so there’s plenty of grow it’s a growth industry for men who are making producing the higher vibrational higher conscious higher-performing more heart and genital connected and mine connected men so that those the growing numbers of the oven light and sexually like women are able to actually solve that problem of finding equals as well so yeah this is a great time to be alive so now he then I guess I would say is if you don’t mind that I’m sort of hijacking this to make it into a coaching session for my own you know I think it’ll benefit everybody thanks yes so I’ve been thinking about me not basically since I’ve been on this path I have been almost completely celibate and there’s been very few times where I have felt safe that the energy that I’ve cultivated will be used wisely and respectfully and understood properly and not hoarded and and I’m sort of I mean it’s sad to say but if you end up becoming a woman’s God a woman’s father and daddy that she never had the first man to ever give her an orgasm or any form of really sustained sexual pleasure and and to Enlighten them to the experience of Eternal multi-orgasmic tantric Bliss the first visual snapshots with third eye of the Divine Realms that’s a big shoe for the next guy you know so it’s understandable and that’s not being egotistical but that is what you’re supposed to be able to bring to the bedroom you know or to the table of sex work session and healing work session so did the trouble the 10th of the male sexual healer problems trouble that I have been avoiding you know for years is just that when I discover that there is is an addictive tendency that is not matured through through lots of work you know you can’t expect that if you done a bunch of discipline work you know that you work hard to achieve and you just want to say cast your pearls among swine that would be you know mixing metaphors that I don’t want to evoke necessarily but there is some truth to that discernment and in a word with so now the way that I’ve had two I guess conceived of not because I do not want to be a celibate monk I mean in so yes I’m doing you know Outreach to people more on my level and if it that can be what’s the word and another one of my bread with no problem for me is it I don’t really like the Marquis De Sade dungeon aesthetic that comes from Nazi Germany and other forms of I mean I don’t want to I don’t want to discredit or put anyone down but it just is not my cup of tea to be in in the in the sort of stereotypical BDSM Kink dungeon environment where it’s probably better that I go there then I go to a singles bar to get connected with people having attracted to it’s probably cuz they will be sex Geeks they would be interested in ecstatic experiences and they’ve probably been pretty I know I’ve been through all this but my the women who come into my life who I am attracted to who feel like they they would have been there like messiah’s of the goddess or there is sort of you know the synchronicity around it is somehow blessed and a higher level than just you know me hitting on them or something you know that gets a friend is recommended there’s a there’s a magical process of of of courtship that you know there’s different degrees of how how house how she for how sloppy meeting the for the first time was vs. if you meet in a really complex constellation of synergy and in synchronicity then there’s more Merit and I kind of have this hierarchy of of women in my life where yeah that was the one that I wasn’t chasing because I was really horny for her that was the one that came in a totally blessed and sacred sort of pathway so I’m just kind of venting a little bit but that but what what all of these all of this Peril has sort of boiled down to is is miss my sense that I feel like and this is where becomes a question for you is it this in it kind of a kind of breaks the pattern of everything we set up to this point and that the agreement that I have with you so it’ll be a gift to to get this feedback so it’s it’s it’s like this because I do not want to take on the karma and baggage of an unhealed non practitioner woman I am going to insist that before we have unbridled wild passionate intercourse that either me or someone else has got to do to take out the trash so to speak from all of her previous relationships all of her daddy issues and if we gets if we get through enough of that perhaps some family curses and past life issues and that’s where it gets more esoteric and more you know what’s the word the clinical Medical Science doesn’t doesn’t drive with all that terminology but that you know where I’m at with this stuff so I feel like what it what do you what would it what comes to your mind on the ethics of a man who says because I know that I don’t want to absorb all of this negative karmic energy that’s embedded in you you know I’m going to insist that the healing the sexual healing work is a prerequisite before we can fuck you know you see what you’re saying is part of what you’re saying is you are not wanting to take on if that’s not wanting to take somebody else’s healing work on it as part of a personal relationship but it doesn’t have to be me who does it just has to it’s just a job that has to be done you know it’s you can’t just jump on my lap and start fucking me because I wouldn’t be fucking you I’d be fucking in 20 I have your last boyfriends and your father I think the way that I would approach that it would be more around asking somebody you know so tell me a little bit about your own Sexual Healing Journey tell me a little bit about you know how you got to where you are what what are some of the things you’ve done to explore this cuz yeah everybody has everybody is baggage it’s really just a question of what is your relationship to it and if it feels to you like somebody is is not ready right if it feels to like it’s new just where where they are in their trajectory isn’t a good match for you you I think a good way to say that would be you know it so it sounds like you and I are in some pretty different places in our life right now and I don’t think we’re a good fit that’s that. The other flavor of that is you know it’s really it’s because of the work that I do you know I’m constantly I’m always doing my own learning my own growth around this and it’s really important for me that anybody in my life or anybody who I’m in a relationship with is also doing the same so if this is going to be more than a casual thing you know it’s important from me or I would feel more comfortable if you were on your own Sexual Healing how far you had a therapist or usual you know we’re doing a meditation practice or whatever it is and you know and the reason for that is that you know I’m a tantra guys right there in my my website right I’d like to go deep and that means that we need a really solid container and sometimes that means having some back up cuz I thought that might be more how I would personally approaching but that’s that’s just my style my communication style beans in that direction in the way I was characterizing my unfiltered sentiment was communicated in the moment so I appreciate you exactly filtering it in and that was those are very good dimensions and what I would have actually been doing as a practice is saying referring women out to female tantricas who if they can afford it or they can even if any of them if they can work out some arrangement of apprenticeship or a paid client practitioner relationship it’s basically in order to enter my body in order to access the offerings of my body Temple you will have to get a stamp of approval from my sort of Council of priestesses who are working to protect me from political disaster I like to operate at a really intent in a really intense way and the best way to do that safely is to have a support structure yeah and like you said because we have to assume her or it will I’m going to I’m going to add that level of urgency to it that yeah we should assume that too if a person hasn’t has not experienced physical sexual violation as a child there’s still Trauma from unsatisfactory sexual experiences that cause contraction in the body usually virginity is not a high sophistical probability of being very well designed as it as a ceremony and just walking out into the world and being assaulted by Billboards were just in a soup of trauma so the the responsibility to when you open someone up with your blasting them with really high quality purified loving energy and you have the sexual stamina to get it where it needs to go all throughout the astral body then you’re going to cause these fractures and those pain parts of the solar going to finally get released and that can really discombobulated somebody so that they can’t go back to the cubicle on Monday morning know so do you want to talk a bit about Aftercare and what to best practices are for people who are getting into this trauma healing territory just making sure that the things feel safe and complete and one of the things that I think is relevant there is that when we have a big expansion of any kind of sexual emotional in a whatever it is sometimes afterwards we have a contraction and it’s it’s no different if it’s no different than a fundamental level between waking up after a really big workout or going for a long hike and feeling a little bit sore but I call it a shame over it’s like a hangover but it can it can but it can really feel like it’s this process and so one of the things that you can do is part about your character is checking to see you is my partner having a shame over or do they need any care is there anything I can do to support them through this because you know if you’re going to do something for somebody has a big expansion and you’re not taking steps to take care of the contraction that might happen after that then you’re not taking care of them and if you’re not taking care of your partner then let’s just admit that you’re not doing it because you are taking care of them but you’re doing it for your own reasons then that’s where we get back to the creepy thing cuz now as you’re saying this time I’m literally visualizing the pattern of these creepy Encounters of a woo woo guys at festivals let’s say where is probably where the where the most it’s like the wild west of sexual energetic boundary violation and transgression that’s actually you know extremely traumatizing and I’m hearing about it more and more and it said and it all goes back to the The Summer of Love then you know things default into debauchery if you have pretty quickly on Haight Street at that time unfortunately because the drugs changed but you know that’s a whole other Vibe with you on about what you just said is it on so the if we have this Aftercare Ark the sexual healing experience Ark that involves after care and it’s not just this Spike of a penetrative intercourse exchange that last 4 minutes or or can last for hours whatever you know it’s it but the thing is if a man is behavior is it’s a very stereotypical sort of cliche thing is like oh he he was sweet-talking me and get filling me with pillow-talk for however long it took to get laid and have sex and then she disappeared and he wouldn’t even look at me or talk to me and that was so hurtful and harmful and that is in violation of the sense of understanding that when you open the door of orgasm and you bring love and you know pleasure and passion there you’re just beginning a journey with their soul really in so if you don’t take responsibility for the Aftercare and in a manner that you’re describing and and having that sense then that’s probably the the thing to watch out for so may I ask the one about the about this the other day and she said I said what what what could make it better at what would how would you improve these guys who are doing the stuff in and she’s like well I would like them to to tell me what their expectations for follow-up are you know what is it going to mean afterwards and how what can I expect from you and if what can I expect from you is nothing right people will say they’ll follow up or they’ll do something and then they won’t do it because they don’t want to be honest about the fact that they’re just in it to get laid and and don’t get me wrong I’ve got no problem with folks having casual sex if that’s what they want to have but at least be honest about what you are looking for you know I end up having said that even with a casual partner you can still send them a text message the next day and say hey how are you doing I had a great time last night still have Aftercare in a in a casual situation I’m a big believer in you know putting your toys away in as good condition as they were when you found them I just think that’s important beautiful yeah but we have covered some some very amazing deep intense territory and I and I just got to thank you so much again for allowing me to both event and also gets some access to some really important wisdom that you cultivate and to be fair with your energy exchange with me and to to be a good Steward of this container I want to say please do whatever you would like to promote your service and get people to your website and let’s get you some some reciprocity for all of this gifting that you’ve been giving so Facebook and Twitter and FetLife and all those other websites it’s traffic like men are all one word and then my my website is make sex I’m also at Charlie Glickman. she is my coaching page and I do coaching both are you at home in Seattle as well as when I’m on the road but I also do a lot of coaching over Skype so if anybody knew if you’re interested in exploring back further I offer a free 30-minute get-acquainted call to find out what’s going on am I the Right fit and if I’m not the right person for you I’ll do my best to find somebody who would be a better match so get in touch anytime I would love to hear from you awesome thanks so much yes please access to services and also do you want to talk a bit more specifically about the two offerings as a sexuality educator coach and consultant cuz I was howling at that for people who are I in the field who are wanting to develop workshops or curricula I have a lot of experience design and workshops and I can help you I create a more Dynamic experience that will get rate for views from your participant and because sexuality professionals often struggle to find professional support who’s up to their speed it can be hard to find a therapist or a food you understand what it’s like to work in this field I have a sliding scale for sexuality professionals looking for coaching so feel free to get in touch around that too and thank you for the reminder then we I wanted to Tootie’s that out of all things because it was it stood out it’s so outstanding to me and just through the process of kind of Talking Shop we ended up really bringing out and I think you were able to do a live demo tied around some of the stuff so U U of M definitely impressed me to be able to you know advice on some of these extremely complex matters and especially the ones that really break taboos and also push the envelope of our vocabulary around spirituality and sexuality that’s s such an important skill to be able to to be tuned in and to be able to walk between the worlds of the clinical Western Medical Paradigm and the shamanic Sexual Healing spiritual you know. I’m so I think you are absolutely cool what’s the do you have any final words or advice or anything else you want to share with four we call it a day let’s see ya breathe more drink more water and have really really good sex whatever that means for you thank you that I look forward to after the next time we’ll definitely all right so hopefully we’ll have some exciting new adventures to explore and I hope that I can get you some some really qualified leads through promoting this podcast so we’ll be in touch all right take care of Central Park. Calm and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and improving the podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple ever by Kika logical employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 8 18275 593 oreimo bad I kontrapunkt. Com Thomas Day

Positive Sexuality Research, Education, and Outreach with Emily Prior MA TPP107


Emily Prior picIn this episode I’m am joined by the highly accomplished sexuality educator Emily Prior. MA. We discuss a wide array of topics within and beyond the sex positive movement and field of study. She provides insightful guidance and direction on independent research and best practices for aspiring positive sexuality educators.

About Emily E. Prior, MA:

Executive Director/Founder/Co-Editor-in-Chief Journal of Positive Sexuality

Emily E. Prior is the Executive Director for the Center for Positive Sexuality. Since 1996 she has been teaching formal and informal classes about a variety of sexuality-related topics including BDSM lifestyle, Polyamory lifestyle, Gender, Introductory and Advanced Human Sexuality Courses for Psychology and Sociology departments at universities, Teen Sexuality topics for Planned Parenthood Los Angeles and others. Emily has studied human sexuality and gender topics from a variety of perspectives, including Psychology, Sociology, and Anthropology and won the Vern Bullough Award for research. She is a member of The Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality, American Sociological Association, Pacific Sociological Association , Community-Academic Consortium for Research of Alternative Sexualities (of which she is on the Research Advisory Committee), Los Angeles Sexologists Associates, and Phi Kappa Phi. To contact Emily, please email

AI Generated Transcription:
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin pillow their beloveds welcome to Township Punk podcast number 107 I’m on Skype with Emily prior she is the executive director of the center for positive sexuality and la and I am very interested in the people who were working and organizations to further sexuality education and holistic sexual health and just all of the important dimensions of growth and development and progress Progressive sexuality if you will and so I’m excited to hear from you Emily what led you and your life path to play the roles that you do now and if you could definitely tell us about the center and the work that you do there and what it’s all about that be a blessing i I guess starts quite a while ago I decided to go back to school and finish my undergraduate degree and then move on to a graduate degree and somewhere in there I decided that human sexuality was definitely the thing that I wanted to study and that this was sort of where I fit and that this worked for me and there are lots of other things that led up to that of course but as far as the development of the centers concerned that really started then as I was working towards my own education and realizing just how much information was not out there and how much misinformation was out there about a variety of sexual identities and just seeing a huge gaps especially among professionals like medical professionals and therapists and things who I felt should know better and should have this information and knowledge and they just didn’t so that’s really I think what drove me is recognizing that people needed much more information than they were being given do you have just have the top of your head some of the material that you felt most moved to want to educate people and enlightening about topic of Interest was on BDSM so really wanting to explore not only the topic but recognizing that at least from my interactions in the people that I knew and seen in Los Angeles recognizing that this was not something that was psychological this is not a psych disorder this was not but you know a medical condition this wasn’t something that was negative for people but that somehow this perpetuation of it being negative was continuing and continuing continuing and that really needed to change it was really painful to see friends and family members go to therapist and go to Physicians and just not be taken seriously or not be heard and so that was really my first Passion was trying to change how people felt about BDSM and how people thought about it that dovetailed into also talking about polyamory successful non-monogamy and that dovetail dindu sort of the breaking down the myths and misconceptions around sex work and it just continues to snowball. Seems like it said there’s these gateways for sure and so how what would you say you’re so helpful changes that have occurred thanks to your efforts and efforts of the center and just two people at large kind of hacking away at these old myths and legends about sexuality they don’t service I’ve seen huge differences so easily almost 20 years ago when I started down this path of sort of informal education and then we’re formalizing that around these topics at that time when you told a group of college students look people who do this aren’t bad or weird or whatever this is just who they are and and at that time there was a lot of pushback there was a lot more people who like no no no they must have all been abused or they must have had some traumatic event occur or it must be something wrong with that it can’t be normal and now 18 20 years later now most of my students are saying yeah got that how do I do it so there’s been a huge shift over those two decades in just people’s perceptions well it’s so how do you what what is catalyzed at do you think or what are some of the key factors that just more of the internet obviously people having access to discover like my folks that want to play and do you know consensual a huge part of that and I think most of it’s been for the better obviously the internet has its downfalls as well but I think it’s really really help to bring all of these things to lighten to help people find connections with people and I mean in Los Angeles it’s a little easier to find like-minded folks no matter how out there you are but when you’re in the middle of the country somewhere in that might be your only Lifeline it might be your only way to reach people who could be hundreds or thousands of miles away from you that that may connect with you know that part of yourself so I think that that’s made a huge difference I think another part of it has been in the past 10 years easily the academic research on these topics has really shifted considerably and I think that’s now starting to filter into the general public where academics are reaching Physicians and therapists and and other professionals at 11 that I think is now starting to affect their interactions with the everyday person and I think media media has done a big shift and I mean you know they’re still so sensationalism and there are still some objectification and exploitation I think in some forms of media but generally media is treating these topics a little bit less salaciously a little bit more positively cool and you are talked about the the history and development a bit of the center and what time you guys were you all provide there and years ago so we’re celebrating our 10-year anniversary this year and that’s really fantastic we’ve been an official 501 c 3 nonprofit since 2013 so that were coming up on getting closer to 5 years of that but we’ve always worked as a non-profit it’s just that’s as long as we’ve been official and really our goals are to provide Education and Research on sexual and gender diversity is brought an army ants as possible the history of that came from myself and a few other local community members in Los Angeles who were doing some presentations through another organization out at colleges universities in the area it was only on BDSM and I was sort of the coordinator for these at the time and recognized that the group of us that we’re doing this didn’t seem to be inclusive enough of the larger SM communities in Los Angeles cuz there’s a whole lot going on here and we’re in a great City and that the local communities really talk to each other and communicate things to each other and this really isn’t happening in any other city so hear the gay leather community and the federal community in the pansexual community and and the high protocol Master Slave community and all of these other things really coordinate with each other or at least aware of each other and talk to each other in La that doesn’t that’s not happening in any other city that I’m aware of and so I wanted a better representation of people so we ended up can I bring in people from other organizations and being a part of that and then because of the questions we were being asked by students every conversation and then we start talking about BDSM but we realized that now that they had people in front of them who were willing to talk openly about sex they had questions about everything and I realize that we really needed to be able to talk about a lot more topics than just us M so we branched off and created the center and started to expand the topics that we were talking about so our education programs have been going on for 10 years now and we’ve gone from presenting to maybe two or three colleges at a time like in a semester maybe a couple of hundred students here they are now we’re speaking too easily more than a dozen colleges every semester and more than a my students every semester but that’s really expanded quite a lot well I so what are ya what are some of the titles of the talks or the workshops that you’re giving off talk about polyamory and consensual non-monogamy we talk about sex workers we talked about sex and disabilities who talked about sex and aging now we’re starting to put some new programs together doing a complete lecture presentation on the dimensions of positive sexuality putting one together on a paper that some of us have co-authored on the four C’s talking about consent in communication and caring and caution as the means of interacting and relationships so yeah we have a lot of different topics cool saying that in that span of time you you probably been in a good position to kind of survey but maybe even very formally but at least informally survey shifts in attitudes and obviously this opening up of more curiosity and interest in it’s more of an open-ended conversation now for sure and are you seeing this is something I’ve noticed I’m curious you probably have better either either or both anecdotal or you know real good statistical data on younger people kind of coming out of the box so to speak way more gender-fluid and polyamorous just by Nature almost feels like there’s some force of nature phenomenon that’s kind of bucking the old paradigms without a lot of really focused deconditioning or or even really highly Advanced you know informational training programs are just kind of getting it there just kind of more free and open and and generous sexually is that is that accurate it needs to be researched but I definitely feel like the younger Generations are so much more open and Ender really looking at these topics and saying you know why are we even talking about this don’t we just get it this is just who we are like we’re fluid in our gender more fluid in her sexuality more fluid in a relationship gone and I don’t know if that more knowledge I don’t know if that’s more a better sense of security I don’t know if that’s a push against you know structure and and parents and Society you know of that rebellion and I think she were now seeing a very clear seconds and maybe 3rd generation of open kinky poly fluid people who grew up with parents who were the openly that way and it’s just it like they’re going out this is not a thing this is just how I grew up seeing more of that too that’s so cool cuz I feel like I’ve had this the saying this is what it looks like when it when a religion dies you know if it if it were another thing I’ve ever actually country singer who was going to call and say that if if you don’t if if a culture stops walking a path in the forest that say they’re Village your culture they stop walking a path in the forest within a generation to pass disappears forever heck of a good or bad if the path was shaming people about their sexual diversity so it’s refreshing to see even on dating websites I feel like I’m witnessing there’s is Pyramid of the older the brackets of decades and age you get the more clamp down and close. You could say it’s old-fashioned to be monogamous people are defining it in so many different ways and I really try to stress to people you don’t like you can be monogamous but make sure that you were definition of that matches your partners definition cuz a lot of people see that in a lot of different ways so are you are there resources or Workshop specifically around how to deal with them some of the challenges of opening up relationships or if coming out kinky or I guess that’s that’s a lot of what you do what you do is kind of provide people resources for exploration and it’s safe here are some of the local things around Los Angeles and it is just a handful of the meaning of the bazillion things and hear some books you might want to read hear some academic resources you might want to reference who hears would have been a ray of a resource material for you and we also on our website we have sexuality Resource page. Just has tons and tons and tons of links you all sorts of things on son of some of them are sex positive therapists or counselors or physician some of them are other resource things were educational materials or websites or you know just all kinds of things cool so how about it are you getting a lot of interest from sexuality Educators either in the school the standard curriculum school system or maybe Charter Schools or private schools are homeschooling parents or is there any feedback and program development on that sort of dimension of Education time we’ve not really breached into dealing with people who are under 18 so we’ve specifically hit college students because then we don’t need parental permission we haven’t yet breached the the under age group especially because of the topics that were we’ve been covering and although it is obviously people at 14 15 16 know that they’re kinky your know that they’re not monogamous they know these things and have an inkling of what they’re interested in or what they want to pursue but I think that’s a really difficult topic to get parents and teachers behind to get the school system behind I’m hoping that since California has recently added the lgbtq studies portion to their overall curriculum for Public School Systems I’m hoping that that will allow us to Branch into that Arena at some point as they need to start incorporating the history of gays and lesbians and queer people into everyday schooling and hopefully on the tale of that can come talking about some of these other topics as well that’s cool yeah I remember I mean I said I was as a youth in the feels a little more than just queer or the list of acronyms but as a Teenage cuerdo I remember you know using or accessing you know homeless youth resources when I was on the street and and there was a kind of bypassed the whole standard anything as pretty much an alternative reality but there was an Ambience of sexual freedom and autonomy in a lot if you know sex work was happening and there were a lot of the staff for the drop-in centers would be College they be doing internships and what not Inn in now that I’m now that I’m getting more that I’m getting older and I’m realizing how they must have been really a pioneering or maybe taking a lot of rain Steven have any kind of conversation of any sexual contact whatsoever and I don’t know what kind of training they were getting to protect them from I mean do you have any reference material for that four four what is what are the boundaries that adult Professionals in sexuality education field or supposed to maintain if they ever I don’t even know who I’m getting emails from, but I don’t I don’t want to respond to an email with a link to an instructional video that’s pornographic you know what I mean without age verifying that I’m talking to an adult I mean I don’t know whose you know what lawyers are making best practices info sheets for stuff like that so I’m curious but maybe you would have some some inside around. chat with Planned Parenthood and I and I was a sex educator with Planned Parenthood for several years and we went into high schools public high schools throughout Los Angeles to do basic training and because I was working with Planned Parenthood because I was a sex educator and now because I’m a professor and teach sexuality courses at the college and university level like I’m a required reporter so so abused to me report something like that I am required to make a special report of that so I try to tell students ahead of time look I’m required by law to make these reports so don’t tell me things that you don’t want reported you know if there’s a case of sexual harassment a sexual assault or anything like that I’m a required reporter and so many people who are trained in those sorts of facilities are at least at that level legally responsible and I’m not sure exactly what the other sort of legal standards might be around those I think it would depend on a specific job so I know that there are some things like if you’re a counselor or therapist you may have certain obligations legally either to protect the people that you interact with daily your clients or again you might be legally required to report certain things to the authorities but beyond that I don’t really know okay yeah it’s definitely something to I’ll be maybe I will get together some resources on that and I’ll share it with you if I can eventually have some kind of you know once you done that so cuz now with the social media internet and I just don’t there’s so many laws that are unenforceable given the landscape of social media and that’s a huge kind of can of worms and so I certainly want to be on the up-and-up and Advising people to do the same so I mean there’s a whole thing about the miners are sending nude photos back and forth to each other during their sexting than there’s a hole you know major concern with that if you were a school teacher and you have and you intervene in some you think they’re passing notes that used to be just hey are you passing notes but if you grab that phone and you see something you know all hell could break loose for everybody so teaching people who were under the age of 18 and they’re passing these photos while that’s considered child pronography distribution of child pronography and some schools are handling that very very strict late so some schools are actually prosecuting attorney at least you know at least kind of telling on those students and letting the District Attorney’s deal with it it’s kind of you know I mean I tell my students we didn’t have these things when I was a teenager but that’s not doesn’t mean we didn’t send dirty pictures to each other material back and forth we had Polaroid’s and we could draw and like it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen but I don’t think it was handled in quite the same way and it certainly not as quick and easy as it is now certainly not with the best camera quality but I’m not sure I’m not sure that we should be handling it and quite the strict manner that we are all the time I think it needs to be a case-by-case basis where is certainly different if you know if they have some form of if it’s consensual rated mean if the event that would be the basis to determine whether or not somebody was spamming someone with nude pictures of the form of sexual harassment and that can be proven that there the intent was there and did their page so now we have to fill out some kind of release form that the school provides a child to receive dirty pictures from another child is of age cuz that isn’t that part of the California’s within three years this is important because people don’t know what they don’t know about how they could be viable all the time for all kinds of things that they don’t even think about stuff tell my Steven my college-age students like you want to be very very careful about this because it’s within it’s the state of California guidelines as it’s within 3 years if you are 17 and under but that don’t that starts at like 12 so you know like between an 8 year old and 11 year old or 12 year old not specs not going to hold like that’s not going to be acceptable it has to start with the age of 12 and going up you can’t backtrack it’s so if the person younger than 12 it’s still really really illegal and and not going to work in your favor but 12r kind of looking okay so if you’re 12 in the person you’re interested in a little bit older than maybe but you need to be careful with that and I think the big problem comes in is when we have people around the cusp so you have somebody’s 15 16 17 to date someone and they they turn 18 you know the other partner turns 18 and now what so now you’re not supposed to be in this relationship any longer and now all of a sudden you cannot consent to this relationship I don’t know I feel like there’s a I understand the laws and I understand the reasons for it I think it’s great to protect people but I also think we don’t give teens credit for being actual sexual persons who could make choices for themselves yeah I was certainly with a lot of older women when I was under 18 so that would have I would have been upset and sad if anyone tried to step in and on that but it’s gendered announcer complicated certainly you I don’t know I guess in my area would have been that just as a rule of thumb male sexual energy was just kind of demonised is being Territorial. And now it’s like a lesbian couple it’s a female identified female body young women who were yeah it’s a different just tell me a different Dynamic so who knows where it’ll lead at this point but at least the center for positive sexuality is here to have these conversations and do you have do you have do you want to talk about a bit about what your your passion is as an educator in the professor like what are you do you have any research that you’re doing your Department’s or you kind of thumb yeah like kind of locking into a specific topics that interest you amongst all these things I mean most of my work still centers around sexuality and I usually teach introductory an advanced human sexuality courses I also teach other classes so I teach mainly in sociology departments so you know I teach about society and culture and people but I really like teaching about deviance and we research on deviance and identity and and all that kind of stuff so a lot of my research is about BDSM is about sex work is about feminist pornography is a kinds of fun stuff I’m presenting at a conference next month on a paper that came out about a year ago and the Journal of sex medicine my colleagues and I did a study on looking at BDSM as a Leisure activity so if we can say fine it’s not pathology let’s stop talking about it that way so okay then what is it and we thought well maybe it’s fits Leisure and if we look at leisure as not just a Pastime but as something that you identify with something that makes you feel whole makes you feel fulfilled is something that you choose to do then then I think it can fit into that category so that’s one of the big one of the big research projects I worked on very recently that’s awesome you have to make it makes me think that if I were to have to explain anthropologically or take that sort of the view of being an alien trying to understand what people are doing her I would kind of say well when when kids are pre-pubescent they make believe and they create epic worlds of Adventure and fantasy role-play and then when people come of age you become adults and they realize that they have these new toys that develop then they want to use them and actually be imaginative and creative in and use their whole potential of their erogenous imagination and their new toys and then they can actually play freely with each other where you know when when kids are playing playing games that you would consider to be somewhat violent and nature they don’t usually actually harm or kill each other you know so it’s not that hard it’s not that great of a leap of logic right to imagine that adults would reaxis some of that imaginary fun making instincts or hate American culture as we really look down on Leisure we would look down on play and we look down on make-believe and so we decide that’s just for children and it’s not for grown ups and I think that that’s a really horrible horrible perspectives of the world cuz you’re only a child for a very very brief point of your life and you’re an adult for a really really long part of your life and wouldn’t I don’t want to stop playing. Why would you want to grow up ever and so yeah I think of BDSM I think erotic play I feel like yeah it’s just this extension of your creativity and artistic and Tristan and your means of expressing yourself and now you get to have sex so why wouldn’t you add that and everything else thank you for helping to frame it that way cuz that it’s it’s so it’s easier to digest when you when I just have never heard that what that phrase before but it just erotic play being obviously it means that you could incorporate more than just your one monogamous married partner that’s just still only allowed that culturally they by the mainstream the idea of being sexually playful with a group of people in the community of people as a social activity like a cocktail party or a mixer or I mean why can’t you believe make break into play make-believe you know the okay fine I just I’m this is my partner this is the only person I’m going to have sex with her I’m going to be in love with or however you’re defining that but I can pretend for the next hour or two that there’s someone I’ve never met before or that there a superhero or that a magical being or whatever and that can really shift your erotic interest in your erotic pleasure I think you probably would be able to say that it will make a lot of relationships last longer and be more Pap more healthier happier for sustainable resilient cuz you’re not getting bored and giving up and going you know stoic that’s great so do you have a key tell it tell me more about the center and how it how it runs and functions is it kind of like a drop-in center or do you have only certain events at certain times or how does the facility time work out we don’t actually have a physical location most of it exists inside my laptop and out of and that means we don’t have to pay for rent so that’s why we go to where we need to go so you know we have regular meetings happen in my house or one of the other board members houses we do have some events here and there are a lot of our fundraisers or just online to make it easier to reach as many people as possible and of course we’re trying to reach a broader audience than just Los Angeles so we Skype workshops we Skype things we’ve talked to classes in New York and classes in Idaho and you know all over the place so you know we do a lot of different things we also have an academic Journal that you’re positive sexuality it’s free it’s open access anyone is welcome to use it and read it and submit work to it and you know that’s been going we’re now in our third year of publication of that and that is hitting a worldwide audience some of the countries that are accessing this are it’s all over in Australia and in Belgium and in various parts of the UK and it’s hitting parts of Asia Japan so it’s really really great so we have a very wide reach and what we do we have approximately 50 to 60 volunteers who work with us we also have an internship program so we get college students who want internship credits or what the work experience and so they volunteer for a specific. Of time and work on specific projects for us at different times of the year we get most of our interns during the summer but we get interns year-round and we have in our volunteers so we have Educators we have people who are research Affiliates and who published research and use the center is one of their professional affiliations we have research assistants who helped them we do you work with events so we do some Outreach events I think on Wednesday we’re going to UCLA sextravaganza which is been happening for several years on UCLA’s campus that we usually set up a booth are we do that with other things around town we’ve also have members some of our volunteers go to conferences all over the world and represent us at different places and in different areas where they were very popular in Melbourne just found out from a friend who’s been living in Australia for past couple years so I can’t I guess we’ll have to go there at some point cool it’s a new cloud-based model it’s elegant and overhead in the neighborhood drama and that there’s a lot of reasons to transcend that six location and you can if you can be a mobile you know unit then you can just take your your your laptop and projector and some you know what your handouts or whatever you have in this b a and again because true using Skype and using other types of internet programs you know we can get into a classroom you know that might not be able to bring us there physically but we can still do it will set it up on our end and and just stream live stream wherever we need to be and and it’s very helpful to cuz we so we have volunteers I think are farthest away volunteer that we’ve had so far was in Trinidad so we can have volunteers from anywhere in the world who can work with us medication programs and so they help us Creator update or education resources in our reference materials and putting together things to help teachers facilitate this in their classes they might actually be one of our Educators we train people to go out to those classes and to give presentations to places we have research assistants to make come in with a certain amount of background knowledge and how to do academic research and some come in just wanted to learn it and so we trained them and they work with people who are doing research in various aspects of positive sexuality and so some of them get to co-author papers and some of them get to work on the ground floor of research happening and get to really get into what that is and have a voice and have an influence in what’s being done in the academic world and this is course then starts to affect policy when we’re putting scientific research in front of people and saying here this is what the says that’s not the correct or let them besides these aspects and that can be very very helpful we work with other organizations so and CSF the National Coalition for sexual freedom is one of our sort of co-working his nation’s the community academic Consortium for research on alternative sexualities we work with them as well yeah I’m getting chills yeah I’m getting chills cuz this is a lot more than I bargained for and actually seeking a lot of what you’re describing and to have yeah we hope we have a good bit of time last time feeling compelled to ask you a little bit about I guess hey if you’re into taboos right blowing them there is all I ever believed starting this week there’s going to be the biggest psychedelic science conference in the history of humanity happening in the Bay Area it’s put together by that multidisciplinary Association for psychedelic studies and the there’s a lot of really important cutting-edge legal for the first time in decades studies happening all over the world with psilocybin you know I gave magic mushrooms and MDMA and Ayahuasca and marijuana and peyote and I will gain a number of other synthetic and natural organic you could say psychedelic compounds in a lot of it is at this point in this stage of the Renaissance of research it’s really about proving the safety the relative safety of different compounds getting the dosage to be sort of understood better at also having some really important clinical trials around ending ending addiction to harmful drugs ending cigarette addiction end-of-life anxiety sexual abuse and Trauma and PTSD from War veterans there’s all these different the demographics that are starting to have really groundbreaking results and they’re doing you know they’re putting in the millions of dollars to do the the research for all this and so I bring that up just to say that this is an interesting juncture for me because the a cultural cliche about sex drugs and rock and roll and you know the way that the culture of inebrians is starting to move a large part due to Raves and festivals it’s moving more towards entheogens than just Coke and heroin and meth and booze there’s more opportunities for people who are coming into their sexuality to have access to psychedelic experiences and so there’s the new Alchemy of innocent in these Generations between sex drugs and rock and roll and if it’s it’s it’s it’s a lot more sophisticated and advanced and and and just more diverse in many ways than it was in the 60s when it was you know Acid Rock and LSD and other birth of the the hippie movement in the 60s but I’m wondering if you have in your position they’re come across any any any people who are interested in in rigorous academic study of what this new sex and drugs and rock and roll Paradigm it is shaping up to become if there’s anyone interested in that that you know of he’s been there are definitely people who are starting who are doing research on these topics and very often the connection that ends up happening in the academic research is you know if we’re looking at the sex drugs and rock and roll that of course is going to look at the outcomes and too often I think the the outcome that gets stressed is okay so what’s the what’s the public health issue so is it possible or is it likely that people are might be transmitting STIs because they might be under the influence of something or maybe they can’t we do we have to worry about consent if someone is under the influence of something that then means that they cannot now consent to what happens at that point so what happens if everybody who’s involved have done that so where does that line get drawn so I think a lot of the issues that have come up in recent research has been either on public health topics around STI transmission or on consent topics recognizing that at least by law if someone is inebriated for example they can now no longer consent to sexual activity okay so what happens if everybody involved. That’s so interesting yet that’s exactly what I’ve been actually encountering and in just by life experiences it’s there’s there’s a lot of people now who were you can say you were having expanded Consciousness through empty agentic use meaning it’s kind of a nice way of saying psychedelic no drugs but but that’s an important consideration because just because you feel like you’re enlightened than that one with God doesn’t mean that you’re immune from being the perpetrator with that Enlightenment that you don’t think you have a potential for abuse and even if it’s not that sort of shady you know where that sort of Insidious there’s also just the issue you’re not in your body if you’re having an out-of-body ecstatic psychedelic experience how how do you get even if you can send it to the idea of something earlier in the evening that has to be held through somehow and if you lose the if you become somebody else or part of your higher self or whatever it could be theirs that’s some chicky territory for sure yeah so that’s I guess there’s you know that I’ve seen like at electronic dance music events you can call him Rave but that’s kind of more you know probably more accurate term these days cuz there’s within that whole world there’s different camps and it’s more no more more bride to just called electronic dance music these days but you know there is there’s sort of harm reduction education Outreach groups that put out one sheet kind of look like glass CD mailer cards you know about business matters and they have kind of a profile of what the different substances how did how to test and make sure that they’re real or are what you’re getting it like that there’s that whole harm reduction education Outreach approach that is kind of like what you’re talking about but it’s for the party scene in just for best and better practices around that but I could see that they’re being a sum interest group of people where they would want to see things the way you’re talking about it cuz I actually no way you’re framing it it it feels like there’s a lot more due diligence for people that want to be credible and respectable and using best practices to actually think with some of these analytical tools so I’m hoping you’ll be great if there was some overlap or or or Synergy with all this stuff I think more and more what is happening as we’re seeing the people who are actually involved in all of these different spaces you know the people were actually doing whatever it is we’re talking about having more influence on the research that’s being conducted so that it creates a more authentic overall experience and I think it adds a level of legitimacy to the research so rather than a researcher sort of from on high saying well I’m going to study this group and I think what they’re doing may not be safe and so we know the perspective that I’m going to come about with this is that well this is already inherently unsafe and now I’m going to show you why it’s in safe and I think more and more we have researchers who are in these communities who are in these faces or doing all of these things and you say you know maybe we need to do is talk to the people who were actually doing this and not talk to them with a preconceived notion of what’s going on or what they’re experiencing or what may be happening but go in just as a hey could give us some information to tell us about what’s happening and I think we’re seeing more of that so there has been research on for example like barebacking and there’s been research on sex workers experiences and there’s been research on sort of the the spiritual some of the spiritual Connections in the spiritual extremes that can be experienced through extreme SM activities light hookah coals and those kinds of things so we’re seeing more and more of that happening where people who are actually in these groups are part of the subcultures are also crossovers into the academic life and we’re just seeing an amazing amount of research that starting to Bubble to the surface and get a little bit of space. I think this research has been getting done for quite a while but it can be really hard to get it published because some of the academic Publishers don’t want to hear about it and I want you to my is any of these things so if they publish something on it they want to be really careful so with our journal and with some of the other journals out there we’ve been able to bridge. Cap and actually be able to show some I feel like more authentic stories well absolutely will now in this world have so many The Gatekeepers being dissolved by the power of the internet I feel like you know there’s a lot of bad journalism or untrained journalism so there’s got to be a lot of bad or untrained or Incredible or uncredible research but maybe it’s the methodology that can be what’s the word sort of feel like I could imagine what as you were speaking I was imagining will wouldn’t it be great to train the you know that like the anthropological participation observation ethnography kind of model but if you were to train if you were coming from that subculture and you wanted to sort of document your tribe and produce your own ethnography kind of amongst your friends kind of tabulate experiences and collect notes insured compare notes is there was you recommend any kind of Crash Course doing data collection for different types of research paper I’m doing ethnography in the field and sort of how that works and how you can sort of pull everything together there’s a really good little guidebooks you know a quick online search for for some of these guys are out there and ask her if she is amazing stuff I love doing a photography by the way I think it’s an incredible tool that doesn’t get use nearly enough and and it got a lot of researchers a colleague of mine she recently did a photographic ethnographic working with lgbtq Foster Youth and homeless Youth and kind of went out gave them all cameras and said take photographs of Your World of your life of who you are, and they did a whole art show you know like found a gallery in Downtown LA and just played everyone’s photographs and and you know really got people connected to them and seeing them as people who have life experiences and they’re not just sort of a category of disadvantaged kids so yeah I think there’s there’s an easy guide books out there just like a quick you can find some quick little things of how to do ethnography and how to do that and but I think a lot of that to starts with her own storytelling so things that you do and things that others do and and all the bloggers out there and everything of these are all forms of ethnography relay yeah that’s cool it’s just that it’s exciting and hopeful cuz I feel that I’m at a point where I’m doing kind of pseudo-scientific Rogue radical research that’s way too far out for any government agency or any academic institution to touch with a ten-foot pole so it’s it’s kind of on me and my colleagues and friends 2 do this sort of underground research but then hope that it it’s done in a way that it can be respectable or it can be legitimated later you know but it is probably good to do what you’re suggesting and actually have some some templates for collecting the data that mean okay here’s what would our experiment yielded and here’s the methodology in the procedure and you can test it on your own Hardy or lab or whatever replicate what you’ve done and so can you give enough information that would allow somebody else to replicate and get similar results in their own place or find totally different results which is also fascinating injured and interesting and yeah and I think that’s really I mean that’s science that is science Sciences pushing boundaries and science is you now let’s try a new thing and see what happens and science is telling a new story or New Perspective of a story and you know I think that that’s been lost over the past many years Society The Sciences inquiry science is asking questions and wondering why thing happens and how something happens and trying to figure that out and I think that we’ve sort of collectively as a larger society have sort of lost that Focus write the word crowdsourced crowd-source funding crowdsourced ideas and editing and an art I mean you were talking about that at that photo gallery exhibit and that’s a great example if you would call that a crowd-sourced ethnographic oh yeah photojournalism nice oh yeah that’s cool that’s that’s exciting time so I’m also wondering now do you have do you do you or your organization the Center provide any kind of consulting services or any kind of where you could be hired or you could be sort of commissioned to do research or to consult on Research I don’t know that we’re I don’t know that anybody is really hired to do research cuz wouldn’t it be fantastic if someone will pay for that but that doesn’t happen if we do get hired as consultants for a variety of things so either individuals within the organization or the collective organization May consult on certain projects or consult on like creative curriculum for a particular thing and we have individuals who are consulted on court cases and I’m legal issues so so there’s a lot of that we also get hired by professionals like to teach professional workshops on various topics so that happens as well because we’re a nonprofit although those things are often we you know ask for fee cuz usually the people who were asking for these services are people who can pay for it but what going out to the schools we’re going to colleges in touch or we have a student group asked us to come and do something with them or like what you know we go to somebody’s community of answer something we may ask for an honorarium but we’re going to do this stuff for free so we really depend on our donors and our contributors and the people who support us to kind of give us the funding that we need in order to do what we want to do and and to publishing and all the other stuff so our journals available for free most of our Outreach staff and education program is all for free so yeah a lot of what we do depends on donations as opposed to people actually hiring us officially to do something right on that sounds like a healthy well-rounded multi Revenue stream nonprofit you’re definitely fulfilling your mission in so many beautiful dimensions and I’m just really happy to know that we’ve connected to some really feel better about living in the world with you more offline 2 just to explore some of these Consulting opportunities that you have and see what we’re about and all of that stuff were completely volunteer so none of us are paid for what we do I don’t run a paycheck nobody wants a paycheck that’s completely volunteer and yeah we’re just we’re just trying to let you know we just try to bring it enough funds to keep going and to keep doing what we’re doing and to expand so we’re actually going to be expanding our face-to-face education program out to Chicago over the next few months so Craig can you do that that’s well thank you so much that’s great I feel like it’s it’s really refreshing to to hear that there are people out there who are so dedicated to the cause that it’s that you did not just going to slam the door in your face if you don’t write a check if you know the first five minutes if you’re not going to bill me for this podcast interview right now about an hour into it is do you have a sort of committee or task force or team or just even a person who is either because they are a trauma Survivor or because it’s just near and dear to their hearts whatever reason is there you do consent workshops in self-defense or rape and assault prevention and any any more of the or any any of the sort of preventative and treatment kind of education unpreparedness we do have programs around consent we don’t really specifically talk about self defense or or right prevention in the standard sense so we don’t really talk about here’s what you can do to prevent being raped we talked about here’s what you can do to not rape someone because really this is not on the victim this is on the perpetrator but we also talked about you know here’s other ways that you might think about your sexual self and your identity in the power dynamics that you may interact with and find consensual outlets for some of your interests and behaviors and the citiz and you know we talked about a wide range of those things so it would be great if the people who are doing the Rape Crisis counseling and who are just in the trenches of dealing with battered women and in and going in and and doing you know investigations to catch meant to prosecute the perpetrators of all ages if they were I would let it would be great if in it you know in a perfect world they were seeking you all to educate themselves on better prevention and better version or diversion from the criminal whole that the response like they’re coming as the First Responders two incidents that would have been prevented by a proper education on all sides right and we do have we do have information so some of our researchers and and because we have people who are social workers who have conducted research through us who have published on how to do how to have a sex positive approach to handling victims how to have a sex positive approach to handling offenders and that these approaches can really help reduce crime can reduce negative stigma can reduce it comes cool is that would that be on your website or at some if I if I can follow up with you later cool okay well alright I feel like it’s this is yes. A real blessing and I just want to thank you again for your time and generous sharing of great info so with that said do you want to give the website and any other maybe upcoming events or anything else you’d like to promote and the website is positive sexuality. Org journal and that’s Journal of positive sexuality. Org we have our anniversary party coming up this July so if you want to be invited and want to be a part of that anniversary party will be a fundraiser you can contact me at Emily Emily at positive sexuality. Org or you can go to our website and put in your email address and then you’re on our newsletter list and you’ll get information through our newsletter about our party and we’re hoping we’re putting together an academic conference for next year so look on our website check things out if you go to sex pause so s e x p o s c o n. Com there’s going to be updated information they’re probably starting in the next couple of weeks for our positive sexuality conference coming up in 2018 in Burbank all right that’s very exciting thank you again yeah that’s me alright thank you so much again and I will hopefully I’ll be in touch soon thank you for listening to the touch of Time Podcast please go to and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition of sustaining and improving the podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite sex if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been at kontrapunkt. Com Thomas gay