Monthly Archives: January 2016

Cultural Healing with Sobey Wing TPP38

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Sobey Wing picIn this episode I’m joined by Sobey Wing, one of my personal heroes in the global transformational community. He shares his personal journey of initiation and interest in cultural healing with an accent on sexuality and relationships. We then discuss the practical application of approaching this.

Please engage with Sobey and explore the additional resources linked below:

Sobey’s services/Astrology/Ancestral Revitalization/Rites of Passage Design & Consultation
https://www.facebook.com/groups/RoPwithSobey/

Dj Services
https://www.facebook.com/DjSobeyOne/
A lover of music who enjoys crafting the perfect set for each occasion favoring events with conscious intention. A traveller of genres. Come join the ride!

Love Sex Intelligence
http://www.lovesexintelligence.org
FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/66350684635/?fref=ts
FB page: https://www.facebook.com/lovesexintelligencecommunity/

Rites of Passage Ceremonies with Sobey
http://www.sobeyone.tumblr.com
My goal is to support the renewal of rites of passage in places it is lacking

Youth Passageways
http://www.youthpassageways.org

Rain Crowe Teachings
http://callingourselveshome.weebly.com/

Center for Babaylan Studies/Babaylan Conference September 2016
http://www.babaylan.net 

Full Moon Medicine in Unceded Coast Salish Territories
https://www.facebook.com/groups/159406684415673/?fref=ts

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear beloved’s welcome to Township hunt podcast episode number 38 I am joined by SOB Wing here today and we’re going to go on an exploration of his personal journey of Discovery into I would say the sexual shamanic arts and and give us some tips and some insights into the work that he does around initiation so please so if you will give us a bit of your your background narrative and then we’ll get into some of the stuff you’re doing today thank you yeah it’s pleasure to dive into a spot space and discuss some interesting areas hopefully for people listening I’ll give her by way of introduction where I am located on this Earth at this moment I am in the unseeded Coast Salish territories otherwise known as Vancouver BC and my ancestry comes from the pieces of the Philippines as it is known and also from China from what is known as France today as well as Spain I want to start off and just kind of contextualize in a way that feels congruent with my current understanding which Sean is very graduating you know there’s a graduated look at understanding things especially around something that’s close to my my thoughts all the time is around art or Colonial context so when I was naming the location where I am you know I was I was giving a reference to the Colonial context and similarly when we’re using words like Shamanism there is there something to look at there that I I think is important to not you know this anthropological referencing of a other terminology for what is known in different parts of the world by various while so many different names this is something that is is problematic in the sense that it kind of blankets a term for for something that has many different distinctions in the different cultures and when we’re looking at subjects like sexual initiation or initiation in general something that I focused a lot on which we can talk about in this conversation is you know why did we lose initiation rites and Rites of Passage and why is it that we’re not initiated into things like sexuality and adulthood in general in a way that’s is the way that our ancestors did and Soda Springs in that whole thing around colonisation in the fact that in order for society to be set up the way it is today it had to go through the established conditions and set up of societies kinship groups that were structured in and indigenous cultures around the world including European through disrupting and displacing and killing largely women who helped these roles knowledge and initiation and you know that trauma is buried within all of us you know if we want to look at the continuing wave at this wounding continues in our in our world today with all of the disharmony between between people whether you look at it on the gender binary or with you just look at it on the term of terms of disrupted or ended relationships or or or marriages and the way that emotional trauma surfaces in addiction all of those things getting at the root of it is you know to me about is the spiritual healing that is required and if we if we can get into that today that would be really I think an important contribution to this whole world of sexual healing and initiation definitely definitely so it was you want to talk about so do you like history and what got you thinking about all this stuff and breaking out of her free from these Colonial not sure instructions as a person of color you know growing up in a multicultural as it’s called kind of society a group in Toronto which is that in in in what we call Canada and so I I guess in a part of my my experience of being in that in that kind of culture we’re on some level you know our diversity of cultures is embraced but at the same time or two play embedded in and still are you no white supremacist centered culture you know where the the values and the economics and and just the socio-economics favor you know why culture and not in in the way of saying you know European descent based culture and so you know I didn’t have all the understandings of this but what I experienced was just that you know I didn’t really feel like I I I fit in unless I can forms to certain standards and also I grew up in a Roman Catholic Family and for awhile School and so the hetero Norms around sexuality were pretty pronounced and you know at the same time very blank in terms of like what what is therefore I’m having an awareness around sexuality and I’ll bring in this this posturing in the astrological contacts cuz that’s also something that I’m I steep myself in as an astrologer is she not being a Scorpio Sun sexuality in a big part of my identity and understanding of myself is 3. And so without any of that I had to seek other sources of understanding and so quickly you know this is all free internet you know my my searching for self-knowledge definitely included a lot of like you know going through libraries going through bookstores whenever or something on my radar picked up you know around around you know something around sexuality and spirituality I know I just I had that sense that there was a connection there and and so that’s that’s part of it I guess yeah and that would include me of the occult and I will conclude what was you know Neo Shamanism or Neo Tantra all of those things on talk quickly into my my site and this is for lack of having Elders having teachers that are connected to a lineage that I’m connected to so I’ve had to sort of do the circular route of you know Finding what’s out there and I think that’s probably common to so many people and I’m also of the the generation of the Pluto and Libra generation so you know I feel like that’s kind of part of our generational work is also know a lot of us in this generation have not had the strongest success in in Partnership there’s a lot of divorce rates in and just you know not having easy harmonization and this is you know where I think part of that has the word where we’re generation that maybe has to heal some of those those ones that I’ve been talking about and also seek out new ways to approach so this is all so I think how I perhaps started discovering the alternative routes to relationship and which is an ongoing process but I discovered there’s more to life than the monogamous lens and is even more ways to approach monogamy then there is just on a standard you know christian-based kind of understanding would it be right to say that you’ve been involved in search of activism or Community work being a in-service and and taking your own personal study and applying it into the context of organizations or campaigns and and whatnot were you would get to apply this stuff beyond your personal practice and personal relationships and if so what some of the the highlights of that Journey my first my first step into activism that I recall was in Toronto with a group this is again before the internet so you know connecting people was a way of connecting myself to other people so I got involved with a group called hands which is helping after this network during strife and that gave me a Insider look cuz I was delivering these calendars weekly to to the to all the activist that were connected to that Network in Toronto so gave me a window into what was going on on multiple levels of activism at the same time I was I had dropped out of regular high school and entered into an alternative school called some seed alternative which was sort of the flagship has been the flagship of alternative schools in Toronto and not really influence my philosophy of of learning to the stay a credit thought that experience where we looked at education as a school Without Walls you know that learning occurs where it went where it happens even if you’re learning while you’re sleeping in a dream for instance that counts as knowledge that we can and not that really inspired me to bring that framework I’m into alternative settings and that could include for sure Rave culture which is now become Festival culture and I I think also that I love dancing and I saw that there was you know some form of community that could shape itself there when I when I began it it was really kind of a fledgling kind of sense of community around dance culture but I was exposed to an event where ritual and and dancing was brought together and Equinox and it was led by a I wish you had a curandera family lineage so she was confusing all of these elements and it just took it took God took my psyche by I am you know what really got me really inspired and I look at you know how I gone from there and I you know I helped certified bring this this connection between learning and and dance culture together I’m in a way which seems very normalize now but at the time you know I don’t I don’t think there was any of that happening and it’s it’s something where we don’t have to conform to as many rules you know when it comes to doing what we want to do that you would see in the institutions so I see it as a working within the margins workshops and you do teachings in and trainings in presentations throughout the world do you want to talk a bit about what you since you were kind of initiated in that way to Sacred dance music and intentional Sacred Space design and ceremony ritual design in your own expressions yeah you know I think again with my my kind of rearing and alternative education through your seed I really got the gist of how you know if you want to learn something a great way to do it is to group together other people who are interested in learning the same thing and so you know even right now I owe I don’t claim myself to be any kind of expert but I am adapt and Creative Learning environments and learning Ben Cardin part of learning networks has become sort of my staple so as my I remember one of my first workshops that I led was with a graduating body of friends from seed who went on a our own self created right of passage on to the east coast and and habitat Schoolhouse a historic Schoolhouse that had been the domain of various artists and writers in the posturing 70s that was already kind of reverberating with the creative Energies and I was inspired to do a workshop on creating ritual and so that was my very first workshop and then you know I was really inspired by the work of Antero Alli who wrote Angel Tech of modern shamans God’s reality selection you know and if so that was you know kind of a something that I felt could be really conducive to the Rave culture you know that I think we were really not able to access that kind of language and also the 8th circuit model of intelligence know to fuel Erie and so that was something that we incorporated into our dance Community early on with something called Sunday school which result that you know kind of like a a play on the religious use of that term and kind of over over covering that with you know our own version of like reclaiming our own identities spiritually and you know with our own knowledge that we want to bring in and a lot of things kind of seem to emerge out of that I like a lot of people have participated in that began to take on their own path as teachers whether it be sacred dance or harm reduction things like that and and harm reduction speaking of that it’s something that also kind of pertains to this discussion because in our dad’s, Community which was you know suffering under the weight of a lot of addiction and time and people that were you know masking trauma with with drug use in the Rave culture it was a I think a important response that was made to identify that having tools with how to provide education and awareness around safer use of the substances from harm reduction philosophy which goes along with you no safer sex practices that are on now part of that. Kind of culture also kind of lets you more openings for people to talk openly about their relationships and sexuality and so that was kind of the the birthplace for what we now are doing in our local community called love sex intelligence was the sun groupings of friends in our houses and just creating these discussion circles where we could openly share some of our upper process around navigating relationship and non-traditional ways and that’s when we started also bringing other people who might you know share some modalities used to help us improve our communication or learn something more about working with sexuality and that started to spread into Gatherings until Retreats into and into festivals and that’s all as he say it has some has traveled to other other parts of the world it’s not not the only thing I’ve had focused on so some of my quibble travels have focused on other areas but but I have done a love sex intelligence Workshop in Australia for instance it’s just amazing to to see how what empowers us here has you know impaired people there as well assume so that do you feel pretty well cut up to the present moment as far as the the life history and background and then if so we can go into some of the tips and practical how to do stuff sure you’ve sure okay cool will get a thank you again that that was beautiful Journey that I got to to go on with you there and it’s a I have similar you know to put in a couple of bits in my own background I I I spent most of my you know coming-of-age years and you know from I guess about 12 to 33 the house about 20 years FM seeking being a Seeker but experiencing initiations through the DIY punk rock and Uncle punk in metal grindcore World which has disliked deep tension of striving towards holism and healing and empowerment yet having very very unexamined Shadow especially through just extreme mostly alcoholism and in an access and and then just look at my personal Evolution from going from the mosh pit to the psytrance dance for experience and looking at the deformed geometry of people who are wasted and unconscious and just smashing into each other to to the shark the stark contrast the people who are not everybody and of course it has its shadow to but from you is night and day to go into the psytrance you know world and be like wow there is energy that’s circulating here with the Psychedelic medicines in the plant medicine is where people are not just bumping into each other wasted they’re actually creating sacred geometrical forms and surrendering to this Divine Shakti kind of healing energy and it’s creating a much more uplifting vibration that I could very much see how it identify was so I’m kind of a but that’s just for me just within the last few years so I got a lot of catching up to do to the people who’ve been in that world for much longer and I just want to thank you cuz if you’re you know yeah it sounds like you were part of the lineage that has brought this salvation into MiFi thank you for that and give you that little bit of back of myself but so moving into the something that you you do some some work if I understand correctly some of your professional livelihood work is is education sexual sexuality education and bringing some of these initiatory technologies that you’ve discovered into that world so could you talk a bit about what you do in that in that says space yeah okay so when we talk about you know professional or I don’t know like you know what we’d get you know how to identify the work that we do or place its values at what we get paid to do chores what we do just without being asked to get paid enough so a lot of this work I would say is you know by nature of what it is as in as I was saying before as in the marginalized safe spaces that are created through other things like Gatherings that are already happening you know I don’t have to go through that hole you know system knots wooden props judge some of these things so I think there’s kind of a harkening back to the way it was in that this kind of knowledge was safeguarded after contacts you know like a lot of the indigenous healing Traditions or however we want to call it you know how to be a sort underground and so I I say that’s kind of reflected in how we how I approached this kind of thing even though you know today will will will post the events publicly on Facebook and things like that there is still a ring to it that is about you know not waiting for us to be given our our approval by by Society you know we just know that it’s important so we do this and and so like I’ve been doing this constantly one of my goals that I set out of certain point was that at least you know once a year there would be a community gathering around love sex intelligence and the rest of the time you know we haven’t online for him but very important for that hole project has been and which we’ve stepped it up in the recent months to make sure that hopefully like every month we can do something is to to say that the community around learning about how to how to harmonise our relationships how to defend our sexuality into something that is you know how uplifting our spiritual path is something that needs to be done you know with with with more support and so that’s why it’s it can’t just functioning online capacity so that’s something I’ve committed to we have we’ve been actually our next event is focusing squarely on sexual initiation I’m pink resented by someone named ya Lila Espinoza is looking at how to tweeze mower practices that she learned in Peru you know have informed around healing and and then creating her own initiation but yeah I also you know as an astrologer I work with people and often it is around relating I’ve done a little bit of like you know support for people I think what happens is you know when when you become a central figure in any given Community people will come to you when they’re in crisis and this is what has informed my my the work that I do around you know Rites of Passage is responding to crisis from a place that seeks to get to the root of what is causing the crisis which in so many cases is that there is a lack of of support and people therefore will resort to self initiation just something I’ve had to do in my own life and and see it so much the case for some of the other people and there’s another psychological shifts that occur when people an emotional shift that occur when people feel a sense that they’re being held that they are being that they can fit they can let go and have a safe space to go into those wounds and begin working on them and of course it would help if we had a little more guidance and how to do that but thought comes over over time you know we have to work from where we’re at and so that’s something that I’ve been in in the my own process of of my own work around here figuring what those things are with those tools are and Tom yeah like I said I’m not an expert but I can at least Point people in some directions I guess what we’re looking at here is that there’s an underground space very intentional underground space that is more conducive to kind of freestyling or rolling your own ceremony and just holding the light and and letting those who it call who are called to it you know it would become integrated into keep it at the gala Therrien and flowing so that you don’t have cult of personality and politics and all of the scenester Hipster things coming in and that’s always up in it and he has to be on guard against and whatnot so I see there’s that unfoldment in that development and then there’s people who are also working like stay in the social work field who are informing their peers and colleagues in those sectors with these Neo shamanic techniques or nonviolent communication or your where it’s legal and accessible and permissible you know legally again to be able to put people on amor I guess like prisons prison you Lila has a very and I’ve done some I interviewed her in the past and I’m a big fan of what she’s doing and I know she has a strong background in clinical social work and is feeding back into that sector the wisdom of of the Amazon and and Beyond and so is that something that you have I just thought I remember reading somewhere you know or talk to you at some point about how this is this is like you could be hired by the more formal above ground and sectors of social work or Community work with where you can be brought in to bring some of the stuff that would normally be or I guess it’s just that it’s a very interesting Cutting Edge of an intersection and I if I’m not mistaken that’s that you you are like sort of partially in that world 2 of of social work or is that something I understand correctly yeah I’ll I will string this conversation back and see where where I where I am placed social work as well as all the modalities of counseling and healing you know like they are all part and parcel to supporting and upholding status quo capitalist system so I’m going to like you know like you know also haven’t been in the punk scene also had a big enough impact on my my party now 13 m in terms of healing these wounds we have to look at that and I we can’t we can’t say like that are healing is going to be independent of the world that is reeling and suffering from the continuation of this system as it is and so that’s where for me like bringing capitalism into the equation is is something that’s real tricky it’s something that I feel needs to be kind of understood. You know we we can’t just rely on having sting services that we can pay for because that creates a gap you know where some people are going to have accessible abilities to to the healing and others won’t and that’s that’s not healthy for anyone and and also that it doesn’t address the root cause of why we need social workers to begin with and why we need counseling and all of that so I really like the notion of cultural healing that’s where more where I would be comfortable in any way kind of looking at myself as any kind of healer I don’t think we we can really heal individuals that’s really something that you know a person will need to and it’s not like they can be facilitated to do their own healing work but nobody can fix us we have to fix ourselves that’s that’s more I think a more powerful Paradigm to be apart of but you know I I I have worked in the realm of I focused therapy and you know I have spent quite a bit of time around the spirit plant medicines and seeing how the plant medicines have assisted and I do I do continue continuously work to increase my knowledge and wisdom around working with us plants and and that also brings us back into that hole realm of discussion around you know ancestors and working with them or perhaps that’s something we haven’t really touched upon but maybe she said it’s just that in any form of healing that we do I guess for me the important thing that I really try to bring into whatever I do connecting back with her ancestors and healing the trauma of how we were disconnected from those ancestors and how that plays out in any kind of sexual wounds or emotional wounds that we carry and so that’s something that I I I feel like the role of initiation and ritual can can really do and that’s that’s been its Province ever since people began doing patrols I think it’s to build upon the legacy of their ancestors and to draw and their their help and support cool said that yeah thank you for helping me understand the other parameters a little better and and 100% there with you I have I have been because I live in the United States where there’s different laws around no prostitution in in how that affects the healing with sexual touch and pleasure as medicine and stuff like that is a lot more yes I understand in in Canada there’s there’s a lot more interesting legal space in order to do Hands-On Sexual Healing work relative to the US where it’s completely off limits in so I because of that adapting to that reality and also is a permaculture designer myself I have to think very deeply about how to navigate this issue of for-profit healing work that kind of in most sectors is about like you said I’ll put in my own words it’s like they want to know if if the if you’re at a time of time robot that supposed to be producing a set amount to be a productive member of the of the GDP then then if you’re not functioning properly than the the goal of the mainstream social work or psychotherapeutic or psychiatric Fields they’re trying to get you back into the rat race as soon as possible and they’ll do that with drugs with talk therapy or whatever that is about avoiding through tissue which is the disconnection from urethane from a healthy holistic wild habitat you know a night as a primitivist I see that you know the solution to your Neurosis is to retry belies and Get Growing your own food again in and rebuild that fabric so you know there with you on that tension about right livelihood in and taking money for healing and what is he doing so I really like what you said and that just is going to it’s going to help me a lot looking at healing the cultural level and healing the if I’m understanding right and I’ll put a couple my own words on it but I feel like we’re trying to build the scaffolding or were trying to design the context for people to take the responsibility of a personal healing and gone to that journey and so if you if what would you say are some practical skills are tools from all of your things that you would teaching and training and a things that you discovered in your own journey to where you’re in power tools for empowerment that you suggest or are resources that you suggest people Explorer to if they’re called to do the cultural healing work weather for profit or non-profit. Some dance between the two or it and then what what are some recommendations for people who are on their own path and aren’t necessarily called to do the the cultural healing yeah I mean it’s it’s a pretty vast subject that one but I think that a few points that I could think about and talk about our that I’m going to this idea of bringing you back in the station rights and recognizing that in the absence of them what do we have you know we are we are sadly in there without initiated Elders so many of us and if there are any of Elders that hold that ability to to guide those those ones are those are worth their weight in gold you know there really is people that we should try to lift up and and give them their recognition and see you know and then in the absence of that it’s like we kind of by default Our Generations people that will have to hopefully fulfill that and reach a place where we can actually help upcoming generations to go in a way that they don’t have to completely go it alone and and figure it out on them on their own the way that so many of us have had to and so there is a movement around Rites of Passage I sit on the board if you passageways which is a network that focus is squarely on you no Rites of Passage for you coming of age from all different walks and and and modalities you know some of them are our Boys to Men oriented some of them are girls to women some of them are starting to incorporate non gender binary kind of approaches as well which is good and and this whole focus on bringing back the ancestors into looking at Rites of Passage is is starting to happen and something that I focused on and so that’s that’s a resource you know people can go to youth passageways. Oregon and look at what programs are out there and they can also think about how they can add to that list and bring in things that are needed around especially around sexuality and relationship which is often I noticed kind of a big gap in a lot of programs out there you know because they’re confined confined or constrained by the conservative values where they take place and you know what school system is you know this is one of those places lagging for that kind of thing so it’s a role that I think that many people who understand the need can step into and cultivate as career paths you know and some people are pig figuring out how they can weave their credentials says on Sexual Health Educators or sexual therapist or sexual trauma or no trauma-based therapists you know into this realm of initiation and that’s that needs to happen on a on an increased level the other I see a lot of because of what I was saying around looks really don’t how many Avenues to learn other than through you know what the books in the workshops and offerings around sexuality thoughts unfortunately are not rooted in in people’s only need two lineages generally speaking you know so the whole Tantra movement is pretty much so you know a cultural appropriator of New Age fight version of those Traditions that would have been squashed by Christianity especially and so I think there’s work to be done there and as much as possible Retreat retrieving reconstructing are reconnecting with our own ancestral Traditions which I’m sure you know had their own knowledge wisdom around how to how to raise healthy harmonious individuals with healthy sexualities from from the vantage point of how what little I do know has been has been done in indigenous cultures and without wanting to appropriate for them from them I’ll just give way of examples out of that you know in and certain cultures that are studied like the Mayan culture and I think to some degree on certain places within Creek culture there’s examples of how as societies you know that the children are raised from an early age 2 reach a point where they understand how to how to harmonize with the other sex and how to to look after each other and that’s just a very basic principle that I feel like you know that’s that’s worth kind of learning how to integrate into our family structures if we have children that were raising just to keep in mind that you know there is a need for them to learn skills around things like consent and around being responsible with with one’s sexual energies and and I needs to start before they reach that age of adolescence where they’re just harder to connect with if you haven’t built up that Foundation so that’s something that I think about will do you so if I if if we check out that the organization that you mention is it would that be good place to find and something like a more enlightened or more conscious like sexual education curriculum or guidebook do you know if people were working on something like that so if I know if you know parents who were going through the puberty of their child that they have something that’s not just this cold clinical Western and even though that sort of evolving a little bit you know with things like a sack didn’t and whatnot I see a lot but the The ancestral wisdom and you know the ceremonial Rites of Passage you know how does it how does the Modern Family say okay well you’re about to start feeling you know hormonal Energy’s how do we give you know create even if it’s just within their family or their Community yoga or whatever is something more than what’s being offered in the normal sex ed or what they’re listening in gangster rap music and watching on sitcoms obviously you know it’s enough for lack of lot of alternative options it’s one one place to look and we’re always looking for others so whenever we discover something then we will see to auditory resources and we are trying to vet those resources and those organizations to make sure that they really are you know at least there’s some some level of you know safe recommendation that we can give for those those organizations we’re not we’re not in the position to really kind of completely you know set standards but we are trying to we have a code of what we call it a cross-cultural protocol so we do look at that aspect that you have for what we’re talking about that’s you know if that’s another layer that we will hopefully get to eventually and I do know that there are people within our Network who are really strongly focused on this particularly around girls to women kind of education and and Rites of Passage and some of the Boys to Men once but I think it’s also something we need to to enhance as well oh that’s great yeah that’s that’s that’s what I wanted to hear so that I can just refer people to this ongoing and so and then the LSI is kind of its there’s a Facebook I’ve been interacting with the the Facebook group for a while so is that something you recommend people plug-in I mean that’s the goal of that is to feature blogs and generate discussions from those blogs and also to establish a resource of services as well as information and so that’s you know running on in a very limited volunteer capacity and so you know it’s something that I hope will eventually become a very powerful resource but already it’s you know it’s been feedback that I’ve received that you know even just the the group that we have on Facebook somebody posted recently. You know it’s really help them in their in their path which is nice to hear and I’ve heard that a few times and I try to curate that group in such a way where it’s like you know it’s trying to generate discussion and it’s it’s trying to be a safe space where where people can get into some of those I’m intimate revealing is of what what’s going on in their lives one of the things that kind of came out of love sex intelligence local as a connection with Tamara and the love school that they have which is a very congruence philosophy to love sex intelligence and they’re their work to try to create or with to create safe spaces for people to to share stories of what’s going on in their intimate lover sexual lives and and B witnessed in a way that is non-judgemental where they’re not being flooded with advice but more just being witnessed which is kind of connected to that whole framework for Rites of Passage itm witnessing each other and so it’s it’s trying to also look at how you know communities can succeed in their in their goals which might include you know like being more sustainable or being an alternative to the systems around us and also being a part of a more peaceful kind of culture through filling this hole that is often where things go wrong where people are are are not feeling safe to talk about these these human experiences around wounding around are our hearts and our sexuality so I’ve been part of a Practice Group here that has been circulating also to other parts of BC and I think it’s a really it’s a really powerful movement to be a part of yeah we’re getting close to an hour or so I have to take a few more minutes and I’m get a couple thoughts and feelings some responsible for 1 something that his is coming up for me that I think it’s really empowering is this like idea that wouldn’t it be nice if some of us started to think of ourselves as aspiring Elders I’ve never thought of it that way until this conversation and there’s a little spark of joy and me that that says you know puts in context the the punk rock lifestyle that I had of live fast Die Young and just you know if it’s not throwing yourself into the meat grinder of insurrectionary activism you know with this sort of Death Wish you know this martyr complex or whatever it’s like those are really unsustainable archetypes to follow and they leave a lot of people when they get to my age in about 35 like in a sort of existential crisis that will the revolution didn’t happen and I didn’t get killed I didn’t die in the gutter you know I mean what am I going to do now and it’s like well maybe it’s time to become an aspiring Elder and you know clean up your act and and then start to think about how you’re going to make it easier cuz I there’s a lot of things that I had to go through that I would seriously love to have no one else ever have to go through and if you know if we can live in that. you know that is what you’re supposed to think that I think of you say you know you can you can learn from the wisdom of Elders who have gone through and made the mistakes that you’re probably going to go through or you can just be hard-headed and learn all your lessons the hard way but I mean we’ve had to learn a lot of hard lessons in the absence of the eldership but I think if we take on that there’s a yeah me too. It seems obvious but really the way you put it his medicine for me to think you know it’s a dignified path to be an aspiring Elder and then it makes you not be so how do I can help you defeat that that that grinding pressure that oh my I’m going to lose my looks and I’m going to lose my energy and I’m going to be in the state of deprecation towards death and that’s very much the greatest fear of the western manicured Uno photoshopped airbrushed identity like you’re not really giving any hope that aging will be of any benefit in here just marginalized further and further so I thank you for that serve very much still give that time sacred eldership dignity not a light title to hold I think the true Elder wouldn’t really feel comfortable in it cuz it’s defining attributes of an elder that is really one that can help that role be the best it can be is one that is is really accountable is really present isn’t so on the move that if you can’t you know be relied upon to be there for the people that it serves now needs to ideally be in the in the fellowship of other Elders to kind of keep it in in in check in a way like we have to watch for the Cole group kind of phenomenon where people you know place a lot of weight on that person and in a way that can privilege them in certain ways and also lead to potential like power distortions and things like that you know it’s it’s only human that people will make mistakes and so having that kind of accountability of other people and also that time yeah you have people heart or a different there’s always like in every phase of life with the lifecycle there’s there’s like the maturing phases and so there’s like you know there’s a baby elder there’s enough adult Elder and then Senior Elder and so it’s just we have to learn at each stage of Life how to become the mature version of what that stage is and says just something to think about as well and it’s good to to get your feet wet early on in life so that you know we can have deep roots and and the and those are the kinds of people to like in the Tamara situation out of the black community they have a circle of Elders who are basically people who have grown with a community enough that they know the people in their community and then they serve a role as potential kind of like the Matchmaker but you know in a way where people can approach them in and ask them like you know I’m interested in this person and they can help you assess whether this is the right time or what is a good or bad idea and you know they can kind of that. Whole courtship in a way that you know really I think I wish there were more of those people around here don’t you let me relax you know learn the hard way what does that we’re just not compatible certain people in The Matrix the I mean yeah I’m not I’m not a political scientist of the Matrix but I will say that what got me peaked on the ecstatic trance dance group ritual ceremony festival thing was it really when I saw I think it was maybe the second movie or maybe it was the second or the third but there was a scene where they’re just getting down to like Juno Reactor I think was a soundtrack of a butt there is something beautiful about seeing the different the warrior culture Guided by elders and of course there’s different the archetypes playing out in Conflict split that to me was took it further than then the Star Trek Federation is a futuristic Elder guided Council guided kind of reality so that was kind of fun but yeah so that’s what came to mind when you’re at we’re talking about that be so cool if you’re early sexual oracle’s who you go to you know if we’re going to give you insights and maybe even have name your child for you or something cool like that you know be so cool but right on then will I worry about at the hours so do you have any closing touch you want to share or any other resources or should we just I’ll post the the links that you mention and I’ll definitely encourage people to stay informed and keep an eye out for your anything coming up you have any appearances or anything exciting like that coming up you want to mention I think yeah I think I covered a lot of it and I just wanted to maybe plant a seed while I have the airwaves here about something that I’d I’d eventually like to work on presenting which is around insert Intercultural relationships and also decolonizing our relationships as well and just thinking about how how we can heal some of these ancestral traumas and use that has as as a means to strengthen our relationships and also our society right on I’ll be looking forward to everything that you’re you’re expressing in the world and I hopefully yeah maybe sometime in the future we can talk about skill sets for Beyond Christian monogamy that would be a great topic so yeah how would you feel about that maybe we can sometime in the next few months follow up with something like that. Maybe by the by the time I’ll have more of a personal lived experience to a base conversation around that I think you know in terms of people who are already I don’t know how many listeners here are on a Christian spiritual path without that many but if the energy and gnosticism and sacred marriage not going to the alchemical top in the in the Gnostic tradition but I I wouldn’t make any claims to be an expert in that area but it’s definitely something to look at cool alright then we will be in touch and will follow up sometime in the future and thank you so much so be I really enjoyed it and I know it’s taking us a while to get this to get this done but I think it was perfect and I couldn’t ask for anything more so you have a wonderful day. Take care and keep for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and if you want a podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been at Contra Punk. Com Thomas Day

Sex Magic and Tantric Public Policy with Laurie Handlers TPP37

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Laurie Handlers picIn this episode I’m joined by the illustrious Laurie Handlers for a discussion about modernizing Tantra and designing new public policies to support sexual exorcism, healing, health and wellness. We also cover the basics of practicing sex magic to manifest your dreams and desires.

Laurie’s Bio
Laurie Handlers is a film producer, sex educator, author, and intimacy coach. You could call her a Sex and Happiness Coach! If you want to get sexier and happier, call her!

She holds a Masters degree in Education and a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology and Sociology. Her career includes over thirty years as a corporate change consultant, individual empowerment coach and international seminar leader.

She is a dynamic speaker, facilitator and has taught transformational workshops for women, men, couples, singles, parents and teens since 1978 on techniques and secrets that are the basis of healing the body, releasing past emotional trauma, stopping the aging process, and reducing stress.

Please visit https://butterflyworkshops.com to access all of Laurie’s great works!

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello dear beloved welcome to Township Punk podcast episode number 37 I’m so excited to be here with Laurie handlers on Skype and Laurie I’ve been a big fan of listen to all of your podcast and I really have been profoundly influenced and inspired by your great work so if you would would you give us a bit of background on your sort of life history and Township journey and all of your offering these days oh my goodness how much time do you have when I was a college and teacher High School teacher than a college teacher and I taught psychology and sociology and from there I would lived in Boston and I started teaching assertive communication at 2 adult education centers in Boston and Industry in the form of digital equipment corporation started to send all their staff to me and pretty soon they hired me please to fly me running to helicopter to their meetings to teach their staff how to communicate so I had a big career in corporate Consulting and was that Midler anyway moved over in the 90s I was doing consulting to the government to city state and federal governments under the Clinton Administration I was taking people off the welfare rolls and getting them employable like it was teaching them how to have a job Essick I didn’t know someone else to use computers and answer the phone and everything but I taught them how to sustain themselves get off the welfare rolls dress properly carry themselves and conduct themselves properly not use their children as an excuse to stay home from work and I got lots of people employed and I had lots of contracts and it was wonderful and at the same time I was studying Tantra so the 90s I started studying Tantra and I always knew that there was something more to sex then just boom boom and you know the in and out what are we called friction thank you ma’am five I always knew there was more to it and I was never able to find a partner who was really confident enough to go really deep with me to where I thought it was possible to go and then I found Tantra and I went over this is it this is the root this is how I’m going to find it so I was taking time for classes and I was doing my Consulting to the government and I was in a teacher training program with absolute Andra and then all of a sudden George W bush got elected and he took all the contracts that were from welfare-to-work and gave them to faith-based organizations like churches which I didn’t own one and I don’t plan on only one and so I didn’t really know what I was going to do like thousands and thousands of dollars were going out of my pocket I had to let go of all my employees I mean it just was a life-altering experience to have nothing from so much something and so if you don’t talk about transformation so I just went oh you know what I’m going to take my hobby and make it into my vocation because sex always sells and there’s no government that we’ll be able to legislate if I’m going to make money this year or not and so that’s it I just never looked back I I open my doors I put out my shingle I said I was teaching Tantra and because I had been involved in I don’t know if you know about Landmark Education Landmark education is a transformation company that’s all over the world it used to be the S training and then it became Landmark Education anyway I work there before I had all those government contacts I was at work in house for them and I knew people all over the east coast and all over the United States and when I left there and I started doing Tantra lots of people said what is she doing I’ll have what she’s having so a lot for 10 years I had students Galore I didn’t have to do too much enrollment I had full classes I lived in Washington DC and then I traveled up and down the east coast and I had you know I was launched and it was it was great it was really great but you know that’s that’s the 90s and took out two thousand three four and then things changed to get the economy changed lots of things happened so what we can talk about all that but that’s basically how it started how I got started in it and I I was I knew enrollment because when I worked at Landmark Education I that’s what what I was I was the queen of enrollment of enrolling people at the courses so I just took all my transformation skills while my Roman skills and I married them with with Chandra and that’s it the rest is history yeah that is that is so cool I love hearing about how people find these healing Pathways after having been relieved highly trained in the modern Western world and all of its different tools and tactics and when you get the ancient wisdom to synthesize with all of this modern stuff those are my hero so you’re definitely he just blew my mind I’m like so I said thank you for sharing that I don’t think I had gotten quite all of those details at once from all the podcast and that really really perfectly puts in context exactly what I want to explore with you today which is really big picture Blue Sky budget out-of-the-box thinking about the future of tantric public policy and you know I’ve been thinking of the really there’s is parallel going on with psychedelic Shamanism and medicines where it’s like there’s one track of standardization medicalization westernization of very esoteric and very wild and and natural squarely substances and the rituals and ceremonies around him and then you have to sort of religion icing track which is to protect the Integrity of sacred traditions and not force them to be accountable to the scientific method or two standard dosage is and what not and I feel like what I’m observing in the transfer world is that Sexual Healing you know sexual exorcism these ways of doing sort of thumb very deep healing work there isn’t a political legal space or language to support what we’re doing so I feel like what a lot of times because you’re doing is what you could consider back alley exorcism because you’re not being protected by by public policy clinical standards and is so there’s this whole range of legality illegality and pseudo legality you could say and there’s people who are getting persecuted and prosecuted and people who are figuring out how to buy legal protection or find loopholes and really it’s like such a mess and so I’m curious from your perspective you know what the question I frame that I sent you is if you if you if there could be a happy medium between legalizing all prostitution in the US and medicalizing tantric Sexual Healing Touch and sexual surrogacy how would you advise a legislative committee to structure the regulations but it’s a big mouthful questions Act of setting the context though because you know I don’t know about your listeners but some of my listeners are on my shell or some are very aware of what’s happened because I ran a few shows with panels from people talking about what happened in Phoenix Arizona which is where I live when the temples in Phoenix and Sedona were busted and I had a bunch of experts on and Tracy at least who was the goddess mother of the Tantra Temple here has been on my show number of times as well and I taught there I taught at the temple so I have a you know I have some I haven’t take on it I have a few different points of you wanted actually I could go back and forth these first of all I feel like the work that people are doing in sacred sexuality is you’re the only other person I’ve ever heard call it exorcisms I call it modern-day exorcism and I have very special practices that I use for those exorcisms and people see me individually for that and I don’t do too many of that out those because for many reasons but one is the legality I don’t want to touch people I don’t want to have sex practice sessions with people because I don’t want to I personally don’t want to take money for any kind of touching bodies and I just want to be above the law you know it for me now I anyway feel that it should be legalized that people should be able to do these kind of practice this because I feel except for what people believe is inevitable death which is why they are sort of hung up you know like the fact that they’re going to be no more here on the planet at some point we’re going to have to leave loved ones or loved ones are going to leave them that’s that’s a terrible wounding and I’m also in the in a camp that’s fighting that so that we don’t have to get into that right now I don’t believe that the Natural end to life is death so that’s just a whole other can of worms to open up but besides the fear of death the only other thing that I think has caused major problems on our planet is sexual wounding yes so I’m a strong advocate of being able to Hill the root causes and the root chakra the root area of the body and I personally first-hand know that it’s more effective than going and talking and talk therapy for years and years and years for being on Zoloft Prozac and whatever else or being on Viagra or Cialis or don’t get me started on all these drugs but these wounds that people have because of the history of you know the inequality between the Sexes women trading sex to get security and get love men trading love to get sex and keeping ownership over women and and making most of the rules for centuries to be changing a little bit it’s not healthy for anyone and everyone has to embrace their not only their light but they’re dark there light and the shadow and they also need to embrace what’s inside them which is their masculine or feminine and the only way that I know to do that is to is to heal the wounds that is made people think that there that their gender is attached to a certain role that there that they have to play these stupid games with each other and then in other parts of the world that they get that women have to cover up and wear these 10 you know with only their eyes showing in their own by like their cattle but by men I mean it’s crazy and once that gets healed if it ever will get healed then that will change the way people take life or or fight over oil or consider war with one another I mean when women have their say I and are not seen as property I think that’s some Dynamics in the world when changing when men can be vulnerable and don’t have to hold up the Florida and they can cry and they can say you know that didn’t feel good today or whatever when those rolls shift I think the will see a different kind of operating system on the planet now that’s said I think all of it should be legalized so even though I’m not a prostitute I don’t do sexual work like that my work takes place in classes then most of the time my classes are closed although there’s some advanced classes that I do where I usually take people out of the United States and then they can have clothing optional experiences and there is some touch the I think all of it should be legal I think I would advise lawmakers to get over there and you know to take a time to class and see and then and then see how that would affect the overall mood attitude climate of their culture and that’s so that’s I mean that’s like a blanket statement and but I still as I said I have kind of both takes on what actually happened here in Phoenix so but anyway that’s that’s that’s for starters yeah well you know what I’ve been thinking about me I feel like you’re the perfect person to talk to you about this because I tried to get to this level of conversation with but it’s just very few people who have this this broader public policy perspective and the experience in the trenches of the spiritual you know combat with that were involved in any it’s not all Bliss bunnies is it so yeah so you know what to go to jail real real people suffer real people’s families get taken away from them if they’re involved in this kind of thing from time to time it does it’s not often that it happens but it does that you so something that that comes to mind and I just like playing with thought experiments and like I said thinking on the box and I really it’s it’s voice is like yours that are that I believe are going to be able to push forward something like a dare program for sexual violation and recovery and therapy and education where if you think about when the drug war was you know at the Epic of of when there is developing the Dare program which I’m sure you remember I don’t know if what it’s the evolve into now but they were actually I was in school as a child they showed me what the drugs look like and I got to meet the police dogs and I don’t know if I got to witness like a reformed drug-dealing criminal tell their story but that’s the kind of stuff where it’s like imagine if you were in the streets of my next question about a blue sky budget to develop projects and programs like if you were to be selected to to head up a national Tantra task force where you were going to educate let’s say that we’ve gotten past the point of the crisis point where people admit that there is however their religion wants to frame it we admit that there is a an epidemic of trans-dimensional parasitic organisms that we used to call demons that we need to treat like a like an infectious disease that’s contagious that we need to quarantine it and and we need to disinfect and purify wounded astral bodies of the people who been attacked and we need to do harm reduction and slow down the spread of the entities that are responsible for possessing mostly men into sexual predation if that’s something that that the world can finally have a medical language is scientific medical language to deal with then they will start to allocate the funds to hire people like you to design the national International task force has to actually get the education on the ground this is what we’re dealing with like when AIDS came out and I know you you were very active and where would not happen so if if if if it’s psychedelic shamanic Paradigm Shift 2 Revolution enlightens people in the tantric you know kind of Revolution like his people to where they realize all the porn is being you know as a is culprit in propagating these entities and not all of it but a lot of the very few know that you could say satanic parts of it still there so many different things so we can open the vale open People app have give people these Revelations and then and then the budget will be there and the buy-in and the acceptance okay we trust these authorities these are the experts in these are the people who know what what what we’re dealing with and we’re going to take their lead so if we are let’s say hopefully in the next like few years would be nice timeline for my taste but let’s just say what how long it takes and you you’re into the the immortality thing so hey what shift is going to happen and I could see you as being one of those leaders so let’s just put ourselves in that magical mind frame of Blue Sky budget you have all the money in the world everyone is is bought in because they trust and believe that you and your colleagues in your staff and your team’s know how to go in and educate and inform people and set up the that the spiritual barricades and practices that are going to keep people safe and have them so they can learn how to practice spiritual hygiene sexual spiritual hygiene that was a big preface but now I really want to tongue twisters in there till you said there was a lot of words in there that I was like well I was he saying those in one sentence it’s it’s it’s a very dense study and so you know the simplify it I will I’ll say again Laurie handlers about to you and I Christen you as the the leader of the township task force and here’s all the money here is all the popular support how are we going to fix these problems with the really sensible programs that would be like the Dare program for sacred sexuality list X New York City Cop just told me that hit that there are these programs on college campuses now with a combination of sexual like rape prevention bully prevention get a date rape prevention all this kind of stuff so he’s told me to start to go after that money so I’m just letting you know that I have and I have eight apprentices and I haven’t assigned anybody to it yet but I will be assigning somebody to start looking at it and seeing what we could apply for also just so you know I started to try and stalk the NFL National Football League because I felt that the principle that have money and second of all these guys are doing terrible some of these guys not often but some of these guys are doing terrible things to their wives to other women to other to themselves and their families and I felt that I could start their you know like I could make a name for myself by working with football players or basketball players cuz I know I can help them improve their performance what to see this is the this is the quandary they get paid for testosterone on the court or on the field of play and then they’re saying testosterone which makes them such a great player makes them so inept at life makes them mix their hormones rage and they don’t know what to do and you knows people like Ray Rice beat up their wife and an in it on a camera and an elevator I mean you know that’s crazy and then they and then you know they could penalize they are thrown out of the game nothing really bad happens to them because the NFL just says you know where the NFL you can stop us don’t try to tell us anything we’re not interested but I just want to let you know I mean I have tried to go after some of these groups I’ve had some very good conversations with pro ball players who actually got it what I said about what I could do but you know nobody’s giving me the shot yet I’d I have I do have some professional athletes that work with me I have a cage fighter and I’ve had some I have some basketball players pet it’s up to you know I what I would do I would do I would I would attack the problem from every aspect multi-dimensional I would produce films I would have cadres of trained Professionals in school systems working with people working with parents working with teachers I work by the way now I work on it with a foundation that works with trauma in the schools and I train the social workers in in trauma release the same exact things that are doing a time for class I just do I just I don’t put in the side and we don’t I don’t sit over building a sexual charge like I just said okay lay on the floor we doing buy one Exotics release we’re doing this kind of release for doing that kind released and where the body keeps all this drama is in What’s called the lower chakras are the lower part of the body you know you add up the dots yourself and then I teach them to go into the school systems and teach what I’m teaching them to nurses and teachers so when kids are traumatized by experience is like with someone going into the school and shooting it up and kids don’t want to go to school anymore like all the teachers and the principles and the and the nurses are alerted to how to deal with that those kids were traumatized cuz they’re traumatized to so you know on a very minor level it’s creeping in but the big scale Blue Sky what you’re talkin about I mean I would start with the president you know I would start with Congress I would start with the Senate and I would work my way through the NFL the NBA the NHL that you know the national I don’t think baseball players are as violent but you know I’d work through all these big organizations that have so much say and how our culture is and you know and I went up from I wasn’t educated remember I have a master’s degree in education so I know that learning styles are different not everybody can learn by listening not everybody can learn by seeing some people have to learn by doing so I would design programs on every level you know that that would stimulate people in Everett and all their senses and so that they wouldn’t understand it’s not rocket science it’s easy to learn containment boundaries and Trauma release once you’re clear so I would set upon a problem with getting everybody clear of the of those those major device that they have between masculine feminine and with and with the wounding that’s taking place and you know what let me tell you something in a psychiatrist in was in Philadelphia Vivian do see a psychiatrist years ago who was one of my first student said to me you get done in 3 days more than I get done with some people in 7 years and I always remember that because it was a really big compliment you know a lot of my clients are psychologists and psychiatrists a lot of people who come to my classes and you know they say that the work is getting done by someone like me and I’m not I’m certainly not the only one and they’re in all of it but they can’t even refer their clients to me because if anything should go wrong they could lose their license they have governing boards the something else that you know I’m not of this I’m not I can’t claim to be I cannot claim to be of the school of thought that says Tantra is a religion I personally am not religious I’m not too boo boo either so I don’t look at my practice as a belief my practices have changed my life they have transformed me I went from being out so wonderful and friendly and you know smart woman to be but with we had lots and lots of stored anger to being a cam and happy and not the stress person because I let go of my woundings and I don’t even I can’t even name them I was not raped by anybody my father didn’t incest me to the best of my knowledge I don’t even know where the anger and all of that angst Came From My Friends Love Me In Spite of it back then but it was my job to find a solution and looking for the why didn’t answer the question so I just did the practices and eventually I didn’t have any more there was no more slush fund of anger left hanging around waiting to spring on someone so if I could do that and I was extremely I’m just I’m playing it down but I’m letting you know like if you were my friend back and who knows when the day if I was mad at you I then I would call you at 3 in the morning to see how you sleeping and you said yeah and I go well I’m not and we’re going to talk I was very aggressive I didn’t know how to deal with it I was honest so I could we could work it out but I didn’t know what to do with if you looked at me funny I would be like her I don’t have any more takes a lot to get me pissed really I can’t even find that rage in me anymore time for did that from me and it’s done miraculous things for almost everybody that I know Christmas in the Park you know I say why wouldn’t you why wouldn’t somebody you know nothing but here’s the thing there’s always the rub witches in order to look if you want to live forever I’m just going to say you’re going to have to be responsible for a lot of things that you think in your body toxic thoughts you’re going to have to get responsible for like a Raticate in those then you’re going to be held responsible for what kind of foods and substances you put in your body then you got to get responsible for how much stress you take how much of a workaholic you are a couch potato or whatever you can have to get responsible for how much exercise you’re going to get at no matter what age and how much sex you’re going to have cuz you need that to you need your cells in your brain and everything needs oxytocin and endorphins and serotonin so if you’re going to be sexually free an unknown encumbered by the fear of public opinion by Fear Itself by Shame by blame by Gilda all the ways we’ve been controlled by either our family our religion or our education system where the government or whatever people you know I’m not going to get into conspiracy theory here but got want to be free you got to get responsible and that a lot of people when I say you know why wouldn’t you then you know the other side of the question is most people don’t want to bother their happy being couch potatoes drinking their beer going on you know being totally controlled by advertising this is some stuff that I’m really now I’m really excited to get a little more in detail that’s the the definitely the big picture of the archetypal picture of where we’re at and over the course of us until your podcast there’s been a few really memorable Peaks for me in and I really like the way you language this modernization of the ancient wisdom in a way that really transcends this kind of nasty and kind of I guess cynical attitude of the the righteous and Pious traditional and authentic perspective and then the the sort of dismissive the Neo Tantra or just sex crazed you know compulsive and impulsive sexual addicts and so there’s not really a there’s not at there needs to be an integrative Tantra practice between the ancient traditional and the modern and the people who have put it the best that you know I said I liked what she were Vijaya says like the spirit of Tantra has come to the west to heal the second chakra because that’s where it’s needed the most that’s where the tree of this is really getting the most in that that’s my word you know for it is that this over at emphasis of the sexual ritual that was really a you know I’m I knew that aspect of the traditional Nishi ations back in the day people then in Ancient India let’s say that they weren’t sexually repressed and they were doing what we’re doing now and are acting almost leave people after the 30s learning finding this like we’re doing kindergarten Tantra in our thirties what would have been what people are doing to initiate their children through a tradition of Priestess matrilineal matriarchal Temple Arts they would be learning how to become full beings at the appropriate stage of the life cycle and they wouldn’t be neurotic and it wouldn’t be Juvenile and sort of sexually and psychologically for most of their adult life and so it makes sense to know that neotantra is focused are I don’t think it’s I think that the spirit of Tantra is massaging the second chakra of the West and that’s why it’s over emphasized because we don’t have the sexual health happiness discipline wholeness that you need to be anchored down enough in the root chakra or the lower chakras to be able to have a platform to ascend into the deeper esoteric practices so you know that when you talk about taking away that that guilt in that responsibility oh we’re not practicing 1000 vs yuno 108 * of this and that and it’s like all those things that make people neurotic about am I doing it the masculine yogic way or am I free to just go with the flow in the feminine sort of traditional myself I just doubt that was just a big omage to how powerful it is that you were great in that language around hate practical this is what we need this is a toolkit this is what I’m going to pull out of my control kit based on my experience and training and here’s some things to sample and you go with what works for you and it doesn’t have to have this tension about Neo vs. classical Contra and that’s what it’s going to take to get the the actual healing potential into things like pamphlets at Planned Parenthood cuz you can’t talk about and really it’s not appropriate to talk about things that don’t fit in the cultural context I don’t want to make a bunch of people like the way that you see white people trying to get their Indian names at the at the powwow and get on the Red Road and just make a mockery of pipe holding and stuff like that it’s like I don’t want to see all these wannabe John shakes trying to extrapolate decide to lifestyle or something and I want to see people you’re not able to be you no functioning in the modern world but learning and sampling these things so so many images so the first of all I am in in my life I spend some time I spend a lot of time in India and I spent a lot of time you know I have a film shot on location India called tantric tourists that if anybody wants to go on iTunes and find I can find it and not only will you have a great trip to India by watching a film that you also see how we do Tantra in India like people tourists come with me to Indian we do talk to their most serious you can’t even find it in India at solving you know it’s all been whitewashed by being conquered so many times and by the conquerors of India 400 times India has been invaded But the other thing is I have never I’ve met very few Yogi’s that I would want to even look like let alone study with like I could I have some awesome that I’ve gone to the people look so dried up like prunes and they were practicing brahmacharya which is celibacy I wouldn’t I would not want it I mean I would just like to take a look at them and feel like I would never want to be that I would never want to be them they don’t they don’t look so in the past at least eight years is taking me to really figure it out like when I came when I left the East Coast when I left New York City to come to Phoenix Arizona I realize I had to repackage myself and one day I just went Eureka like I I’m I don’t call myself a time for Teacher anymore I’m a sex and happiness coach that’s who I am and I named my book sex and happiness in 2006 but you know it’s the tundra claws of intimacy but I name the sex it happen if the two most Googled words I didn’t say I didn’t even know they were when I named it that and then then I got bored with Tonka and when I had my radio show toddler Cafe if one more person to 5:10 if I said what’s your favorite practice if one more person that I gave me like I was so bored out of my mind so I said I hate this like I’m I’m not that I don’t want to talk about this anymore I want to broaden this to the whole world to that to everyone so I named my show after my book sacks and happiness and then one day I woke up and went sex and happiness coach which gave me a much broader audience a lot of people don’t want exactly what you’re talkin about let’s let me tell you I did the Thousand eight times chanting on kriya Babaji no, I mean you know what I got out of it while I don’t even know what I got out of it I did this exercise I had to write it a thousand eight times and my teacher said you have to write the whole thing ohm kriya Baba ji na ma and you have to write it like that but you know I’m a New York kids so I wrote like 1008 times down the page and then I wrote Crea Crea Crea you know when the teacher in school makes you know right on the board you talk in class so you know a hundred times I’m it’s like I couldn’t wrap my arms around not granted there are people who can but my point is I’ve never met anybody I’m just trying to really check in if I’m telling the truth here I don’t think I’ve ever met anybody who follows the tradition has like a Westerner who actually is walking around happy like happy like joyous some people are walking around you note in the so-called non-attached then space some people are walking around celibate and they don’t look good to me and then there’s people I don’t know I just all this rigidity there is something listen there is something from the Traditions that that is to be translated and pulled over but it has to be dissed up in a context that westerners can actually get and Western still sickle and their attention span is so little because of the internet you know They seized and their phones and their devices and you have to Dish it up fast you have to I have to catch their attention in 2 seconds and say okay look you can get sexier and happier if you come to see me now that’s what you know they come and they think I’m going to like having really bad. Crazy sex and I’m going to get really happy in my gonads or something and that’s not what I’m talking about actually when they come in they seat like it there really is a process there really is a method to the madness there really are practices and they really are rituals but I always tell people please my students anyway I can’t speak for other people please do not make this into a religion I’m not giving it to you that way my recommendation is that if you do something like a cobra breath that you do it 7 to 10 times a day if you don’t that’s okay if you do it three times a week 7 to 10 times a day okay and if you don’t do it exactly that amount you’re not going to be struck by lightning just do it and see what changes for me the anger dissipated my friends thought I was on Prozac you know they said you’re so, what happened to you I said unto I’m taking Tantra I’m not taking Prozac if you want real change in your life you are going to have to commit to doing something but it doesn’t have to be super expensive it doesn’t have to ruin your liver have to do something but you don’t have to do it 1008 times I I I don’t I don’t believe that you have to and I’m not teaching it that way and you know there’ll probably be Yogi’s and Tom talk to her going like who is she what is she doing and I don’t care let him challenge me yeah it’s you know I I I do respect the lineage holders and and I think social already did a lot of this killing of sacred cows let’s say about her and loving and accepting all of his frailties along with it at the 99 rolls-royce’s if I heard about it you know what I would do with one Rolls-Royce I can only imagine but this weekend and it was awesome I much rather have a Tesla yasso at on the other end then on the other hand so there’s this again I’m deep in the I want to synthesize psychedelic Shamanism and tantric sexual healing and do it in laboratory controlled setting so that we have repeatable experimental study designs that any researcher in the world can replicate and create a database of falsifiable scientific research data and then we can bring that to the the the lawmakers in the policymakers and get you know I don’t want to have to go to international waters to get away from all these Draconian laws about what we can do with our Consciousness and how we can use pleasure for medicine or not I mean it’s just so insanely backward well I got listen there they just like they’ve done stage of studies on everything else there have been studies not in the United States but there have been studies in Sweden maybe there are some of the United States I have to get out look on it but they’re which I do have where they’ve done studies on people doing a self pleasure masturbation and people doing studies on same-sex couples couples having sex and they’ve shown studies about depression that running oxytocin serotonin and dopamine through the body makes people happier the more regular sex if people have sex in general I’m not to talk about tantric sex which is so which is the two aspects of Tantra sex would you make Tom trousseau deep and soul appealing even though most people again they don’t even know it when they are seeking Tantra or sacred sexuality will call they don’t even know that this is what they’re seeking but there’s most people know about procreative sex that’s what you do. Babies every animal can do that and does do it human beings do it too and some people leave it at that butt human beings because of a frontal cortex have so much more ability to create I know this is a subject you wanted to cover Sex Magic will get there human beings have more capacity to create from Sexual Energy other than making babies since so procreation is a primitive form of sex the next is Recreation that’s like I got I go to a bar I you know you know I’m looking for sex you know what I’m looking for love but I’m going to have sex you know in all the wrong places or whatever so that’s recreational sex Sports fucking their people who said and I told you earlier in my life I used to be on a seafood diet like I thought I saw someone I want to be with I was with him when I took Tanto my whole attitude towards everything changed my body is a temple there’s no way that I would interact with just anybody but you and I agree with this we said just real quick I got it I got to support you something you said which is it the more the deeper and more I go into Tantra the less sex and sex partners I really feel like I need Divine Union and I feel like while the discernment from that is such a gift so I just wanted to the assignment discernment discernment my favorite word Tasha has changed my whole life in that aspect so now there’s two more forms of sex and people this is what they’re really seeking unbeknownst to them for the most part 1 restoration sex which has to do with restoring your entire body feeling full rejuvenating yourselves getting cocktail to the brain that it needs to feel happy and content and self-love that has to happen through through restoration restaurant have sex and that is one of the primary aspects of sacred sexuality like feeling good and being able to be orgasmic and being able to flow and being able to to embrace the body as this wonderful miracle that it is other form of sex is transformation transformational sex has to do with being able to know not only is my masking my feminine impact within me I have become my own beloved I don’t need anybody on the outside I love myself I’m married to myself and if someone comes on the outside that I actually want to have Cosmic Union with then that’s a gift but I am Sovereign and I’m not subject to rock and roll songs ache that sells you know I want to break my heart open to the whole world and not be in that that karmamudra 1 deficient parasitic. I’m paraphrasing but I’m I’m with you on that Hollywood cozmo you know whatever the pap is as being served up in the day and you know most people are just what they want with what you know I always you must have heard this because if you’d listen to all my shows I talked about this all the time in 2004 the cover of Newsweek magazine had a couple one had the laptop in the lab the other one had the clicker double if you know sex has come home you’re so exhausted and stressed out from the brook and the day and all the things that they were combating it like life is like this war that people go to they don’t even want to have sex with who wants to get that vulnerable with each other those are the people who come to see me you know a lot of those people are to be or someone who lost a partner or somebody who who people who are recuperating from a mastectomy people who people who just know there’s something more to life and mean those are the kind of people who come to me and they know they don’t know that they’re seeking restoration and transformation but they are and they somehow they get this Clemson it could happen through sex and you know what I’m here to say I’m happy to say I’m thrilled to say yay it’s right in your body and guess what it’s for you can use your own hands you know something that came to mind as you were as you were speaking it’s it’s like I was in ayahuasca ceremony you know and I was getting some pretty intensive Soul retrieval work done and you know the I was getting glimpses and Visions for the first time something I’ve gotten much more sophisticated at now identifying species of demons as they were defined in this ancient scriptures and as they can be seen you know in the Psychedelic space and it’s been a minute it just dawned on me I had to ask the shaman I said are these entities that you know parasitize our fears and and sort of live off of negative vibrations are they fire logical entities meaning there could be things that might actually eat them on the bigger scale of astral plane in the same ways that we can disinfectants reduce them out and she says yes they are organisms and love is the disinfectant and that was very striking to me so I think about you know what’s happening with Tantra and sex and happiness and what you’re saying I’m in the visual to me from that shamanic dimensional space of looking at things just like what people want to have that friction sex and it really it’s like you’re pouring your pouring water would say when rain hits a roof or or non-porous driveway it just hits it and it’s there for it until the rain storm is over and it all got washed away picking up a bunch of toxic chemicals in going and killing at things in the ocean but when you create a porous landscape design where your hydrating the soil and you’re capturing that rainwater in in rain water gardens in mulch and stuff and I’ve been all of that moisture gets to percolate down to the deepest subsoil levels and then stay there so when we use the tantric techniques to dilate the chakras and open up the bioenergetic field then obviously you’re sustaining the the duration of lovemaking longer and you’re opening up and I’m more porous way to get that love into the deepest darkest places in this sort of multi-layered infested places of the soul that goes back lifetime so it’s like so I can just see the schematic like a model is very scientific and very easy to convey and you know it’s like sex with happiness and I’ll get with the program here and figure out use these techniques to not just have this 2-minute very surface-level you know quick peek and then it’s over but that doesn’t my reflected ramps and then if you want to talk about how you feel about that and then go into the sex Magik how do we get to the from the restoration and healing to the transformation and what are some of the take-home techniques for the sex Magic Ritual a few basic things clear I say we I had to get clear before I could know what I want so clearing techniques or emotional release techniques like there’s a there’s any number of them I use about 10 different ones that I teach people and they hate doing it cuz they don’t want to take responsibility for all that clutter that they’ve been making up and thinking and then going back to the trauma that happened in their life but I have some techniques that actually don’t make you relive trauma so they can just released first of all people have to get clear so that they know what they actually want in a clear space to once they’re clear they need to set intentions is where the magic comes in. Just set intentions clear intentions I want to write a book I want a loving partner I want this much money I want you to whatever it is done besides clearing and setting clear intentions the other thing that I do owe show did and a few people do not everybody besides teaching the basic breathing techniques and breathing and squeezing Cassandra is really only breathing movement and sound that’s all it is when you when you demystify it it’s breathing movement and sound but it’s really moving to sound in very specific ways once you got those breathing practices I teach people to move in the unknown it’s called LA tejana and I took that as my actual spiritual Enlighten haunted men’s spiritual practice but it’s actually following inner guidance some people call it authentic movement you learn to move with no prescribed dance steps yoga asanas or postures you just let your elbow move you or your head move your foot move you or you don’t move maybe you make sound but I teach people to do that so they taking let go of all the techniques when they’re actually making love the worst thing you want to do is see mechanical let me see somebody’s going to kick you right out of bed because I wanted to bring too much structure into someone just wanted to party and you know it’s sad it hurts with the flow flow in the unknown and receive whatever shows up so okay so that’s what I’m known for in the world I’m like the you know the queen of emotion release and then I teach people to set clear intentions and then I teach people to practices but then I tell him to let them all go so I’m supposed to be dead too so I’m saying all that because before I would talk to you about sex magic and we don’t have much time to talk about it I would say if you take this and make it into a formula and I primarily say this to men if you take Sex Magic and make it into a formula after about the third or fourth time whoever you’re with if it’s a woman is going to like say get out cuz even as good as it was those four times like you got to change something people like change that don’t want to be bored so don’t try to send your getting it right and make it into formula I always like Clash of people about that particular I say that two men because once they get it right they think I’m on to something here to linear thinking exactly so let me just I’ll just say the basic principle of sex magick sex magick is the is using orgasm to create other things besides babies so it’s good it’s intentional use of orgasm to fuel intentions and so if I’m clear about my intentions are and I set my intentions before I set out to have an orgasm then I can actually picture that thing at the moment of orgasm or I can speak that at the moment of orgasm or I can just pray before I would start a session where I was going to have an orgasm and I could pray after and then what I visualized is connecting my orgasm to all the orgasms that ever were in the universe now fitbit’s on the 2nd I’m a chrome which means that I’m over 50 I’m actually over 60 I my given in terms of my intention is that I want to live in this body forever so that’s always in the magic that I make whether it’s through self-pleasure or with a partner and and I connected my orgasms to the wisdom of the crones the wise women who have always lived because somehow in the wise women who have always lived there something there’s some historical body of knowledge there that I want to be connected to that’s my choice that’s where I choose to connect it now in my partner sex Magik so so before of sex session you would set your intention you were first so you might do a clearing you know some emotionally done you would set your intention and then you would begin to self pleasure until the point of orgasm but I would take it slow and beautiful and I would make it like as if there was I was going to be with a partner and the partners me and I would make it yet I would have flowers and I would have candles and I would have to know whatever I would make it a particular kind of a session that was romantic for me and just me now if I was doing that with a partner the way I teach it is a little different there are some schools and traditions that teach sex magic with with a male and female partner having a full-on intercourse that is not my brand of sex magick I teach the male partner in hetero couples for diets what’s called because I hate that concept of a couple of off-world I teach men to actually prey on the woman’s body like it’s the altar at the Temple of his prayer and I don’t care if you mix up a poem he reads Rumi he just and then they line their intentions and he honors her body in a way that she will eventually have an orgasm but I want it to take over an hour like I don’t even want him to go near bringing her to orgasm until she’s so ready to have orgasm orgasm is going to shoot at the top of her head like a rocket ship carrying the intention into that field of orgasm that’s always been and always will be and always you know John has happened historically explain to it’s always there and you can feel it in your knee cap or you can feel it in your Yoni or in your third eye and it’s just a matter of a sending more and more of the tissue in the nervous system into that field through these practices and then you’re in the people called The Miracles on you know where things are malleable and you can Channel becomes the real and yeah beautiful so that’s the way I teach people to do it and I have a whole course it’s a 3-day course it’s the only course that I have where it’s only for couples because most of my courses I don’t care if you’re single if you’re in a diet if you’re hetero if you’re gay if you’re if you’re trans I don’t really care I want people to have pleasure and their bodies what I teach is transformation through pleasure and that’s what I want people to have so I don’t really care what their preference of anything but in this course it’s die as you have to be in pairs and as I said if it’s I don’t wouldn’t care if two women did it and one chose to be the temple The Altar and the other one chose to be the the prayer person I don’t it doesn’t matter to me as long as they’re in tears because that’s the way I like it to work for that course but I didn’t Ivan esta trainer I do I work for the when the International School of Temple Arts which is all around the world and we we we do other things which have self-pleasure ceremonies and stuff so you don’t see me as all-powerful once you get once you get the reins on this what’s the NFL would get its rains on this that which is so disturbing and our world that they would these players with no to play and they would contain when they’re not on the field the closest thing we have in modern Western culture to any throwback of an ocean of the spiritual energetic value of ejaculation regulation in Mastery is that notion that if you have sex before a game you will be the source of the cause of the team losing because you won’t have the power to do the place and so they there is some stage of that wisdom in your ear like yeah I applied you’d go for the top level Enterprise’s and institutions and let them have a high point of Leverage to shift the attitudes of population that’s why I for me it’s about infiltrating the music industry and seeing if there can be you know anthems that teach these techniques and Technologies in a way that just percolates through dance and what you’re saying is totally inspiring to me because I think yeah if you can get one Advocate I mean sting I think is the highest-profile I guess okay then Gwyneth Paltrow I believe Rota tantric sex article so you know sooner or later the streets going to get out before find it in whatever way you need it I think I think we’re probably getting close to the last couple minutes here and I got to get on and I just want to say you know let’s I’m affirming with you these magical it’s magical intentions tonight I think if I could put it in a word or in a bumper sticker be put your vision board on your headboard and thank you I thought you’d appreciate that and I’m going to continue to Avail myself of all of your wonderful resources and works and I I couldn’t have asked for a better more satisfying and fulfilling discussion with you and hopefully many more will come and there’s just one last thing I want to say on behalf of Tracy and the religion izing of concha strategy witch and her case is far as I know so I spoke with her recently is very sincere and I’ll text you my I’m so happy and I believe this is the multi-dimensional multi-pronged approach and there’s got to be a point where we all have our own I am my own religion I can do whatever sacraments I want as long as I’m not using children animals or being a part of the mafia then I should be able to do whatever I feel like with whoever I feel like and it should be none of your business think she is going to Pioneer that for us is like what you know so that’s my prayer right now my biggest fear is for that so we get the public policy Tantra the K through 12 you know what you’re doing bringing it into a practical contacts you get the top-level changemakers influencers and then you have people you know there’s some people who want to make money all day there some people who want to be in church all day and everybody can benefit from this so it’s all going to just roll out and we’re going to live to see it I don’t we website and how people can yes everyone find me or wants to find out more planning to find out you can find my two thumbs Tantra tantric tourists and Beyond dinner and you can just Google them I have my radio show which was mentioned sex and happiness and my book sex and happiness and I have other things I’ve CDs DVDs blah blah blah I have a lot of things and blogs posts and articles and my website you can find everything there it’s it’s butterfly workshops floral butterfly workshops.com just go there and you can find it I’m just about to roll out since I’ve decided I’m finally six and happiness coach I’m just about to roll out a new website called sex and happiness book.com and that I’m done that on Facebook and Twitter so that’s all a lot of things I have to do is type in Laurie handlers Laurie handlers that’s also plural and they can find a gazillion things whether it’s a YouTube video about orgasm and seduction or whether it’s you know something I have to say about sex magic it’s all they’re awesome thank you Lord thank you so much I so appreciate it and we will be in touch and hopefully I’ll see you sometime in the future to www.wrenchapart.com can cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to see me and improving the podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess temples every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been a tantra Punk. Com Thomas Day