Monthly Archives: October 2015

Hetero Male Lover License Test Study Guide TPP33

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Tantra Punk Lover License SmallIn this episode I’m joined by co-host M.F.P. Together we  take the beta version of the “Lover License Test” for hetero males. This episode stands as a study guide for all those aspiring lover licensees who want to ace the test! After listening to the study guide, please take the test and share your high score with the world with the social media links provided at the end of the test!

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design a never more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin hello their beloveds welcome to Tantra Punk podcast episode number 33 I’m here with magic fucking pussy and we’re here to discuss the lover license test for hetero meals aka the boyfriend license test which has a fine interesting background that will get into but first I love to introduce my co-host magic fucking pussy if you’d give us a little background on your title I think you’d enjoy it why hello okay I suppose I’ve always known that my pussy with magic but my cousin was the one that confirmed it she she told me about this guy that was in love with her and I was fascinated because he was a a dancer for JLo and one of the famous videos I can’t disclose his name but I was saying you know it at the time she was still in love with her ex and so we were talking about guys and I was saying how my ex was paying me a thousand a month to you know basically consider working things out with him and I was like what is it you know it’s just they they just want her pussy jokingly and she told me didn’t she no magic vajayjay runs in the family and I just fell as the moment I was like I have magic fucking pussy yes I knew it and I did I had known that you know my ex will attest to it when I met him he was sleeping on an air mattress his credit was in the toilet he was paying an astronomical percentage on his Hyundai his ex had left him or well he had left his back I don’t know if they wish they split she took everything that’s all I know he is terrible luck and within a year his business was booming and so much so that he was going to quit his job and do it full-time and eventually he did and he is a huge success now and and I knew that that story repeated with every guy that I’ve been with and I’d only connected the dots very recently and lovingly you know I’ve been given the name magic fucking pussy and it stuck yeah I casually in conversation we were just talking about our life histories in and he said I don’t know I guess it wasn’t magic fucking pussy and I said excuse me did you just say you have a magic fucking pussy and you like yeah and so that’s stuck with me too because I realized that is a really simple way of transmitting the ancient wisdom and teachings that the Yoni in Sanskrit meaning gates to heaven really in it that the penis length you know called Ling on this is the one of translate is the one of late we’re really talking about using pleasure and sexuality with magical intent in for the purposive magical manifestation hopefully to manifest things that are serving to our own lives into the greater good in the healing of the planet and being in the Dharma path so it’s a it’s hard to sometimes get people to understand what worshipping genitals actually why that’s important and what that means but when you just say it simply like magic fucking pussy had some more than modern parlance and people care like yeah well you should be praying and you should be having intentionality towards Bennett beneficence in personal spiritual growth financial abundance and actually connecting this Powerhouse of energy and connection to Soros into all of these few no powerful forces and actually using intention so I thank you for every time I bring this my face to say those words into affirm the magic of everyone’s pussy and so you two can and I think you’re a natural you have you ate like you said it’s in the runs in the family and and I think I’m it can be trained it can be you know you can be a natural but this is what we’re trying to achieve with them all these efforts of making love in a magical manner so thank you for that that introduction and and I am sure there’s much more magic to to come in the future I’m so we’re here now to discuss this product of magical manifestation that that’s been in the works for me for I guess a couple of years now I was at the DMV studying for the knowledge test for R22 re get my license again in the state of Oregon and and as always doing the test or studying for the test reading the questions on the practice test I might also in the middle of my studying to create curriculum for men to be become better level lovers to Tantra training and so it was very much you know and I’ll have a moment that the label comes out it would be so fun easy and simple to filter out a lot of the douchebag behavior that men kind of casually get away with and women or just spending so much of their time gossiping and commiserating about the antics of douchebag men and it would make it so easy to filter that behavior out or at least shed light on it and put it into question by creating a standard Where to view need to be licensed to love and if you haven’t passed you know at least the written test you know and then after that of course this could be built up to a whole boot camp a hole in a voluntary training at a boot camp and then levels of Probation and punitive training where you have to go to Lover’s school because you got caught doing something and appropriate you know in that would be a diversion program just like on college campuses they have gender awareness sort of you know diversion programs from more stiff punishments and it’s all about education and new skill development sensitivity training and all kinds of establish distance but the the thing that I thought was lacking was a sort of tongue-in-cheek easily accessible webapp kind of interface where you know you bump into somebody or somebody’s hitting on you you know how to party in before you give him your number or you say you know here contact me once you pass the license test show me proof that you have your license that you’ve gone to the test and then we can talk with until then I have to keep you in the douchebags own until proven different and so you know a lot of people have been men and women have been contributing to the the database in my own mind over the course of years and so I think magic fucking pussy has lived through a lot of these negative patterns that we’re trying to overcome and to provide solutions for because we both have young people in our lives that we care about deeply we want to see have a better less dramatic initiation into the Adult World of Heroes and love and relationships and we know we can either we made mistakes that other people can avoid and learn from my wisdom so what the intention is for the rest of this podcast is to go if we’re going to go through a test drive of the testis is like the beta test I just finished putting up you know maybe there’s too many questions maybe there’s not enough maybe they’re confusing at times or or you know just an effectual for some reason so we’re going to just kind of give it a crash course test and work through some of the potential issues and it’s going to be an ongoing evolving test that hopefully will be you know they’ll be a suggestion box so people can actually contribute you know edits and and suggestions for edits in suggestions for new questions and also this is just the beginning because this is just for hetero males of course every different type of Love configuration should have its own tests because they’re different issues obviously for hetero females for by pansexual all the different configurations if there’s a lien on calling out for that people to step up and help to extend this if it works and I think it can save hearts and it can save lives and I believe that it really is a value is such a great concept thank you for for making this then I I’ve been on dating websites and I I feel like this is what it’s missing the element of accountability to their to their ability to love you know it’s perfect the lover license you know they should pass a test and when you hear the questions it’s so obvious what the answer should be and yet so many men do not account for that day they just they obviously do not know and how their actions speak volumes so thank you for getting us started you’re very welcome all right so here we go we’re going to start at the top here with the intro page lover license test head Romeo let’s work together to raise the standard of the average Lover from the typical douche to a God among men all right get started question number 1 of 71 When approaching an attractive woman you should smile make eye contact ask for her name then introduce yourself smile make eye contact give a thoughtful compliment before introducing yourself or smile make eye contact use a prefabricated pick up line then judged the response before introductions which one do you think it is I love choir smile make eye contact give a thoughtful compliment and then introduce yourself perfect guy come on a lot of these should be self-explanatory I’ll make it. Make the general comment that like you mentioned the right answer for the most part is pretty much pretty obvious that you would really have to be a douchebag to choose the wrong answers here you really have to not have a clue and I think just by reading these it sort of gives if you were to say you were women in the man cumming says yeah I passed the test here’s my proof I’ll show you my score and and then you know that they actually had to read through everything to get to that point they had to read all the stuff so that you can check them on it so even if it’s obvious you know it’s it’s useful to have that as a screening process so we’ll move on now when in a group setting your lover gets left out of the conversation and looks uncomfortable you should one ignore it she’s quiet and shy always or anyways to bring up a special moment between the two of you and share the story and get her involved in the conversation while standing next to her showing her little affection 3 ask her in front of everyone why she looks uncomfortable and why she isn’t talking or for tell an embarrassing story about her to get engaged in a conversation this is such a great one I love this question because it is obvious you know to to include her number to include her in the moment babe you know bringing up a story something fun to her that will get her excited and open up but so often you know we just we don’t we don’t know it and instead it’s like you know you’ll embarrass the other person or what’s wrong what’s wrong something wrong did I do something wrong and it makes the situation so much worse when it has nothing to do with you and in fact it’s just you know we just need a little encouragement to bloom thank you all right okay a woman you’ve been casually conversing with expresses her disinterest in you after you invite her out on a date the best way to end the interaction would be to say one okay but you don’t know what you’re missing two whatever have a nice life or 3 I’d still be honored to explore friendship would you like my number yeah obvious number three the teachable moment there is that obviously we know when guys get butthurt because they don’t get what they want right away and they’re not willing to give options and that’s always the answer you don’t if you don’t if you get told no in almost any circumstance it will be okay to ask for options or give other options if you’re not being obnoxious about it so it’s you never know someone turns you down because they’re in a bad mood maybe they’re just fresh from a breakup you have no idea what their story is they’re guarded and not going to tell you it’s so you leave the options open by giving them an opportunity to contact you later and who knows you know what can possibly happen so you have got nothing to lose by doing that and you earn so many more points when you behave gracefully and you gracefully Dismount from like a purse the potential fumbling in the situation so it’s not an insult it’s a great place to be because we’re still considering you if you’re in the friend zone right okay go to find a lover with a compatible life purpose you should one regularly volunteer at a local charity and build deep friendships with full faith that love will come as a result of your good works to pray and hope that she’ll come into your life by surprise or three go to a singles bar and hit on as many women as you can and hopes to find mrs. right oh yeah another obvious when you know volunteer at a local charity or just very the circle that you want to meet people in and love will come there a lot of people are not looking for love with the township principal in mind of the higher purpose of building a mission statement together in that mission statement could be fulfilled in 2 weeks or 20 years or lifetime or many lifetimes the length of the the love agreement and the sustaining of the purpose fullness of the love is really up to whatever your mission is together but the but the main point is to not just have frivolous sex which deplete you know has some not going to even go into that with all the other podcast episodes give plenty of Shadow material on what can happen when you make mistakes you make a man mistake some people call it but you know the the point that I want to make with this it’s so vital in Tantra training and teaching is that you don’t want to waste your energy and you want to find Synergy so Sinners you that goes beyond skin deep in the way that you’re going to maximize the potential to have Synergy is to associate and draw from a pool of people who are already engaged in something you’re passionate about and then you’re not wasting your time and wasting your money how many drinks can you afford to buy really how many dinner dates can you show out for but if you’re going to volunteer to place to keep were there for the right reasons because their hearts and something you’re already in the door mazzone and whoever you meet there if it takes a while you’re going to be there in Richmond yourself doing the right thing and building your karmic Capital if it’s not too crude of an expression or you will get your karmic commissioned by one means or another if you don’t meet that person right there in that environment you will have built up a glow that attracts the right person maybe from riding the bus home that day you never know but just remember that the vibration of of of finding Synergy in a in a purposeful in a way whatever that is that’s the goal here is to be in the right vibration so can’t go wrong with that and I think it’s a good good wisdom from the ancient times here okay an example of an open-ended question to ask during a flirtatious conversation is one do you believe in God or to what are your spiritual beliefs if I may ask weekly to and very good open ended questions yes if it’s so much more inviting to want to know where her mind and that’s flattering very good before approaching a stranger you find attractive you should one breathe deeply several times visualize your heart area expanding with loving energy imagine a positive interaction and outcome to psych yourself out to not take no for an answer or three have as many drinks as you need to feel courageous yeah I number one but everybody does number two and number three and that definitely visualization it if huge and hugely underestimated positive mental movies and if you need a little liquid courage you know everything in moderation including moderation you get the point why do women sometimes prefer to meet for coffee or tea on the first date one by keeping dates short and sweet they can screen Mormon until they feel a deeper connection to its cheaper and less formal than a traditional dinner date three being offered to pay dinner often comes with subtle sex spectations or for all of the answers are correct well yeah they’re all they’re all definitely correct I prefer to pay for my own coffee even on a first interaction so that at men do not they do feel when they buy you anything I drink couple of drinks dinner they do feel a type of entitlement like why didn’t you answer my texts why aren’t you answering my call now I bought you something and your user and and then you know the ego comes out and so yeah definitely just meeting for something informal just so you know a friendly conversation we like we like that stuff when sending an introductory message to a woman on a dating website you should one read your profile and compliment and aspect of her personal growth and development or to compliment her looks and tell her what you like to do to her sexually all right so I think we should spend a couple minutes on this one cuz it’s a fun one because I spent a lot of time on dating websites doing pretty intensive research and really studying patterns of everything from the most extreme form of douchebaggery which is the the infamous dickpic phenomenon and wish the approach of hey baby looking fine you know I like to do know Ariana and a woman’s inbox on a daily basis getting flooded with a 2250 to a hundred until your inbox is full of those kind of comments really gets old fast from what I’ve been told and it doesn’t indicate that you spent the time you know making an effort to find Synergy with her all this is a common interest I see you’ve done this with yourself you’ve cultivated something about your life that’s interesting beyond your physical appearance and right if you have any thoughts on that absolutely from from my personal experience yeah there’s a lot o you’re beautiful you’re gorgeous your Hots and a lot of those I just ignore really even if they’re a good-looking guy because it like you said it it does not show that they took the extra stuff to actually read my profile Seafood him about you know a lot of times on face value we do go by face value we look at the picture and if you passed phase when we take more of an interest but a lot of times if I see that they’ve made a comment to connect or to compliment something that I have written about myself that I deeply care about that I I will actually have a connection with them and go deeper to find out more about them even if on face value I can see oh I don’t know like you know welder that you know I won’t connect with this look like he takes care of his Temple very well but you know I will give him the time because he’s giving me the time cool on a first date you should always one avoid negative criticism of past lovers and focus on discussion of your current and future love life goals or to share as much of your past relationship history as possible so they understand your romantic issues and concerns yes number one avoid the negative criticism of past lovers for sure you know it I don’t know why I’ve been guilty of this too it’s easy to do that to talk about past relationships and for some reason we think they want to know but it doesn’t it puts kind of a Dark Cloud over the relationship in general because now we can see ourselves as one of your past lovers that you’re criticizing and you know thrashing and nobody likes that if you’ve ever been in a relationship and you are now single what is that mean it means you have a 100% relationship failure rate and if you were ever been in more than one relationship in your life and you were currently in a relationship then you have whatever percentage of failure rate so if you were in 10 relationships and you’re currently in one that is currently successful you have a 90% failed relationship failure rate if you started one relationship and you’ve only ever had one and you still have it then you could say that you have your successful at 100% ratio but you know we never think of things in that turns are just like oh yeah we going with the flow and if you know some love lost someone gained or whatever and we’re all do we go see accept that but if you would think about it and then if you look at the the marriage or the divorce rates you have a fifty-fifty roll of the dice when you fall in love with somebody but everybody assumes on every new love this is going to be the perfect thing or nothing happens if bad and nothing no one does anything wrong and if anything bad happens it’s definitely not my fault and so that Tennessee to avoid taking responsibility for relationship failures is that isn’t full effect and so that’s one one interesting and funny anecdote about how really we should come into new relationships with an understanding that we’re all human and we’re all struggling to do her best into vet to do better and we all have a part in why things if you know not work out before and to not lead with projecting blaming other people for white why things have been bad in the past so my ex this is my ex that and just be like you know my goal is to work on this aspect of myself because I keep attracting you know I keep attracting this pattern and and I’ll be up front about that but I don’t need to tell you the Gory details that every person and how they were wrong and bad and you don’t have to tell everything that was wrong about about you you just say when I’m looking to what my next spiritual growth lessons to overcome is around this issue and so if you’re interested in like consciously working through that with me then we can have fun dancing with the Shadow and you know what you know I’m saying that’s what’s the empowered and conscious forward-looking language that we want to use to thank you yes so that another take me and then we’ll move on it is I like to suggest people don’t use the word ex say former lover and then you’re not trying a big X on the chalkboard with your nails go with that all right if you’re really horny and starved of affection when dating you should one hide your desperation and try to act like you’re a stud who gets plenty of action or to develop a spiritual self love practice that helps you exude abundant positive energy Oso fleuve people fear that positive energy the best way to process and we’re sure your baggage is too one weather in a relationship or single participate in men’s support groups that emphasized physical psychological and spiritual purification or to fall in love and wait until the honeymoon phase wears off to reveal your dark side and hope they love you enough to deal with it number one yeah enough said it’s this is detective Chief stuff when falling in love with someone you’ve only known for a short time you should one commit to building a solid friendship foundation without imposing unrealistic expectations or to make long-term promises to be in love forever Foundation see friend zone through those are the ones that last by having any type of penetrative intercourse you should assume one you may have STIs that you’re not aware of too condoms don’t guarantee protection from STI transmission 3 your partner could have STIs that she’s unaware of or not disclosing for all of the answers are correct in here because most people just don’t know why I didn’t even know that when you ask for an STD test and you say test me for everything they do not test you for everything they really don’t feel you have to go out of your way to find out what they do test for what they do not and you’ll be shocked people you know I know I know that I was really shocked that everything does not mean everything so do your homework protect yourself I don’t think he okay statistics show that the majority of committed couples cheat knowing this fact before getting involved in a committed sexual relationship you should one expect that there is always a chance that you or your lover May cheat and prepared a mutually agreeable strategy of handling the situation without dishonesty should it occur or to find someone who promises to never never mind this is something that you don’t hear often on Jerry Springer you don’t see people on I’d like to do it polar opposite of Jerry Springer where you see functional healthy resolutions to the issues of all the things that you see going wrong in that in in in that drama Vortex so yeah this is you have some personal experience of this I have personal experience with this essentially a it breaks down to you know like that that statistical analysis if you go into if you treat your body like and your love with half of the respect that you treat a business contract or lease agreement you’re going to have mediation arbitration clauses you’re going to have term limits are going to have built-in strategies for dealing with conflict should it arise and you know it’s going to arrive in interpersonal relationships so going in blind and saying we don’t need to discuss our STI status we don’t need to discuss you know what are patterns of past Behavior then we’re everything’s going to be perfect and we’re not I’m just going to go with the flow and you’re going to read my mind I’m going to read your mind we’re going to be telepathic and right after the sunset live happily ever after the reality is that in the modern world there is huge financial implications to two pregnancy this huge life shifting applications to SD I transferred some of them lethal some of them you know there’s all kinds of different concerns that we have now and we’re really not we’re really tight and bound in terms of our lack of self-love and are codependency issues so you know there’s a lot of steak getting involved with somebody romantically and sexually so knowing that there’s so many ways for it to go wrong and there’s also a very natural it’s not demonic it’s not it’s not evil it’s not sinful to have erotic desires for more than one person at one given time and it’s actually very natural and the whole thing is yeah statistics show that you know majority of committed couples cheat but if you go into it knowing that and you just say hey look now we’re monogamous we’re going to commit to be monogamous but should one of us desire to change the relationship and want to hit it if you know a to the point where you’re going to cheat or you’re going to put it on the table we need to talk about this first is it a deal breaker or are there a hall pass type of did you eaten that we could have for a week or could we change the relationship without all of the drama and the fighting and the lying and that you know people are going to do what they’re going to do if they really want to do it and it doesn’t matter who you date you could date a librarian and they could cheat they’re going to find a moment if they really want to do it so you just have to go in and just know it’s you know facts are facts it’s a possibility it’s not going to be about you you’re not going to be no be destroyed and I would hope not and that’s on you you know just work for your own codependency issues and be understanding hi and that there’s a lot more embedded in the future questions or the the the rest of the questions there’s more embedded on strategies for actually integrating what some people would in an enlightened manner call new relationship energy so if cheating the word cheating which is a negative Nails on a chalkboard kind of word in terms of the cursing in Black Magic involved with putting that word out there it’s like oh you’re interested in new relationship energy I understand that I feel that sometimes too it’s the goal of a committed relationship should be to create a sacred container that has so much High potent love quality love and attention and affection built into it so that it can withstand and survive with resilience these fleeting episodes that can be very destructive if you’re not managed properly and denying their existence is not an effective strategy and we all know that so yeah so if you acknowledge that there’s going to be times when on both and there’s all those people who are actually wired to be very very non-monogamous and his people for Wired to be very monogamous so it’s also important to do that screening some people say date your own species and now with the you know the internet is starting to evolve to in just recently continue to more statuses and more configurations are being added to the whip to the list of drop-down menus on the dating sites as we speak everyday almost I’m seeing new terms pop up for sexual orientation relationship style so it’s not going to be hard as we move into the future to find people who are more leaning towards your style and therefore avoid a lot of the drama and of course reading the book sex at dawn is going to provide you with Aunt for logical evidence for how people have managed that impulse to be non-monogamous for really all of human prehistory and it bit monogamy as an institution of private property and wealth and paternal distribution of property down the family line that’s all very recent and should be questioned without going into too much detail there I I think we’re in agreement that The Hanger people are going to abuse drugs people are going to let you know and seek new romantic new relationship energy and knowing that this is just a part of human nature and exist we can design better more we just called harm reduction you know we can make this much more easy to integrate why did ancient Masters Of Love advise that lovers keep separate rooms if not separate dwellings one because some people snore and or hog the blankets to because for love to be healthy and sustainable individuals need to be able to retreat to their own spaces as needed to defuse conflict avoid overexposure and maintain a courteous guest host dynamic I love this yes definitely to sustain a healthy relationship we need around space and you know it it shouldn’t be there should be no offense taken I think that every couple should have their own room actually married couples I think marriage is would go so much better it would be healthier last longer just if we had our own space and we got to choose when we wanted to be together because sometimes I want my lover just around in the home but I don’t want him like on top of me all the time 24/7 I would just love him to be in his own room doing his own thing and then every now and then just come in and do you know groped me or something crotale baby if you don’t have a deep loving relationship with yourself you can’t be an adequate lover to others because one whoever you attract an estate of self lovelessness will be equally if not more depleted to You Be Loved efficient and end up taking more than giving like a vampire or three both answers are correct if you don’t fill up your own battery then you’re going to suck somebody else’s or you’re just going to attract the depleted battery that you are another depleted battery very clear knowing that women typically have mood swings at various points in their menstrual cycle you should behave as follows one accuse her of being crazy when she acts out emotionally to learn her cycle together and concrete strategies to be supportive an extra compassionate or three avoid her when she’s tripping out the fact you know like I always hear guys say that women are crazy I’m a woman yeah oh yeah you know how would you like it if someone just came once a month and shot you up with some extra estrogen progesterone it just it makes you go Haywire we say things irrational and I can’t help it it’s just it’s part of being a woman as women continue to fight and win battles for Liberation and empowerment you should assume that one being called out on your shit is an opportunity to learn and potentially an opportunity to earn the love of an empowered and liberated woman or to all feminists hate men and you should avoid opinionated women definitely when a woman is upset and expressing her concerns with your behavior you should one sit at or below her level uncross your arms give eye contact tilt your head slightly to the side take notes with a notepad and ask if she’s done talking before you respond or to stand over her with your arms folded rolling your eyes and interrupting whenever she makes a claim you disagree with a very obvious I think the notepad takes it to another a little extreme I think I’d be mocked but I I would let you know if he’s serious then I’d be flattered and there’s also that did it is kind of in introducing idea of the things I could Talking Stick you know in group meetings where it helps to you know regulate the flow of interruption when the Talking Stick rules respected where we couldn’t have to be a stick but that was a Native American traditional techniques so we can be you know this is Crystal or something semi sacred if you better if it was like not the TV remote control or something like that but it’s your turn to speak and everyone you know and the thing is people tend to not it takes a lot of training and I can definitely say I’m not there to be able to only address one issue at a time and then stop talking cuz you end up wanting to implicate so many different instances of things and so that’s the thing if you urge to respond when someone else is talking especially overheated matter you’re going to have all these idea all these urges to respond come up and it’s a person goes on and you don’t get to respond when you feel like you need to without interrupting and then you might lose all that so that’s you know if you have well actually if if there’s a mediator present they could be the one taking notes you know about what they say there’s many different ways to do it but I guess it’s just introducing the idea that there is a if you really really want to solve problems in a relationship it’s good to rely on extra mechanisms whether it’s a facilitator is going to help keep track of issues that are brought up or you know if you come prepared with your a list of your concerns or you write a letter is so powerful to just take the time and private write a letter of your grievances read that to your lover so that you know that you got all of your thoughts out and they didn’t interrupt you cuz they’re going to listen the whole thing and then you can die like about that but but yeah you get that idea interrupting people is really one thing you could add to this that you’ve told me about when you’re having an argument you recognize that it’s getting heated and it’s like are we having an argument or is it is what it is closed off the stick comes out you’ve got it hold it and the clothes come off because definitely definitely we throw all of the grenades when when grenade is thrown me take that backpack out we’ve been a harvey during anyways it’s been like harvesting the grenades in there and we throw them all but it’s hard to throw grenades when you know your lover is naked right on whatever works for you and your beloved what’s the best toilet seat practice 1 leave the toilet seat up she’ll realize it she’ll realize it’s up before it’s too late to leave the toilet seat down at all times and develop the habit of sitting when you pee to avoid The Chronic stench of splattering overspray and sticky toilet seats or 3 leave the toilet seat down peace standing up and make a game out of trying to keep your stream centered inside the bowl I didn’t even know this was possible men you can learn to sit down and pee then please please Yes mine future lovers definitely going to take note of that one okay true love one last as long as quality attention is mutually provided or two is only true if it lasts forever I thought we all think it’s number two and number one though we provided yes and as long as it’s quality attention you know you can’t fault somebody giving her best right yeah to love and to love three days better than a lifetime of false love I think to keep the spark of passion alive in a long-term relationship you need one to expect that your lover will figure out what turns you on and be spontaneous throughout the years and creative on Valentine’s Day and anniversaries or to daily affection weekly date nights in monthly romantic Adventures oh well yeah daily affection it doesn’t have to be you know a monthly romantic thing but I see what you’re saying yeah just make it make it true and I don’t trying to see if the other person is mind reader I’m borrowing this from another mentor and it is great wisdom the sort of pyramid of of successful long-term relationships I dare anybody to apply this method and and and see if it works for them or not but I think if you would think about this as a fractal pattern and if you almost working couples that are that are Workaholics and don’t give adequate time for love sex and insensual connection they’re going to believe that they’ll both be in the mood at the same time and it’ll happen spontaneously and we’ll just happen naturally and it’s you know whatever they don’t really put a lot of I’ve been putting an effective strategy in place so it’s simple way to do it is saying yeah you use the couple’s that’s that say okay we may be totally disconnected all week cuz you’re flying all over the world building a million dollar business and I’m being super mom soccer mom doing my own home business and and homesteading whatever couples are doing these days but if they and so they can be totally disconnected you know even if they’re running past each other during the day but they have that little group you know I’m passing in the hallway or or a little those little bits of of the Cimarron keeping the simmer going even if they can’t you know have passionate lovemaking or fully romantic dinner every night or whatever it’s like maintaining the simmer with the daily affection and then guaranteeing each other a weekly date night I think that’s a mechanism that you have something to look forward to in that keeps it fresh and then mother Nancy rennick infectious like you don’t always do not always going to be able to take a trip to the retreat center be no love boat or foot have her but something different something unique something that takes you out of the routine out of the house and not just a day cuz you know what date and I could just be like hey we’re going out to eat or favorite restaurant we’re going to decompress and talk about where we’re at cuz we’re so busy or whatever so anyway that that’s just something that people might not think of him if you’re in it if you’re in a stable relationship and you can start doing this I dare you to have it you know tell me I I bet you it’s going to work only just put it to that way and I’ve I’ve added to that something in my life when I was in power couple super high high stress high-stakes Business Development together if you know we would give each other the permission to call for emergency hug brakes and dance break so if we were burning out on whatever tasks who are doing or where feeling like we needed to charge up the battery we would and we were doing home business together so it was easy to just like call for a break to be able to just go into the the the cuddle Puddle Duck and sometimes it would last as it be 5-10 minutes sometimes it be like fuck it do this is so Exquisite oxytocin flow and we’re just going to pass out not even eat dinner and just listen to the birds chirp until the sun comes up so all right checking in is a healthy practice of one asking your beloved how she’s doing and feeling so she can express her daily stresses and flush frustrated energy out and inappropriate and frequent manner or to interrogating your lover to find out if she’s been talking to past lovers or meeting new guys behind your back when checking in is is definitely asking how she’s doing asking about her feelings love that she say don’t be a tyrant when we’re suspicion but something’s going wrong you’re not talking to me oh my God what’s going on now let’s have a talk all the time everyday when conflict arises that you’re unable to resolve with your lover you should first seek a mediator that is one a trusted mutual friend who has an unbiased care and concern for the health of your love and is willing to volunteer time to help to a professional who charges money for services or three your best friend who was looking out for your interest yeah I mean I would say a professional is not the wrong answer but definitely just a mutual friend you know that’s that’s all you need somebody that both people can trust to give a great you know I’m biased opinion what’s the first you should first seek a mediator so it’s kind of like the professional is a last resort why because the professional doesn’t often get hired to solve the problem quickly they get hired to string you along and keep you coming back for more and more and more and so yeah that some just something to be to be warned against and I think if we had more godparents of relationships in our friend circles as opposed to opposing warring factions where you’re like a couple is in a boxing ring and when you have trouble you go to your corner to get your support from your yesmin and she goes to her corner to get support from her yes women and it’s just there’s not like a reconciliatory spirit there for the most part so there needs to be somebody who cares about your love who wants who understands it and is there playing a role of like the Godparent of the relationship and they know the higher purpose the bigger picture another to remind you but don’t you aren’t you all like too busy working on your dreams together to be caught up in these squabbles that come on and then they reset and recalibrate so you have a big view that makes the molehills dwarfed by the big mountain that is your new thing you’re trying to get to the peak of together you know so ask your single friends for their opinions what you’re supposed to think that I think that you know you can you can learn from the wisdom of Elders who have gone through and made the mistakes that you’re probably going to go through or you can just be hard-headed and learn all your lessons the hard way but I mean we’ve had to learn a lot of hard lessons in the absence of the eldership but I think if we take on that there’s a yeah mean it seems obvious but really the way you put it is medicine for me to think you know it’s a dignified path to be an aspiring Elder and then it makes you not be so how do I can help you defeat that that that grinding pressure that oh my I’m going to lose my looks and I’m going to lose my energy and I’m going to be in the state of deprecation towards death and that’s very much the greatest fear of the western manicured Uno photoshopped airbrushed identity like you’re not really giving any hope that aging will be of any benefit in here just marginalized further and further so I thank you for that serve very much still give that time sacred eldership dignity not a light title to hold I think the true Elder wouldn’t really feel comfortable in it cuz it’s defining attributes of an elder that is really one that can help that role be the best it can be is one that is is really accountable is really present isn’t so on the move that if you can’t you know be relied upon to be there for the people that it serves now needs to ideally be in the in the fellowship of other Elders to kind of keep it in in in check in a way like we have to watch for the Cole group kind of phenomenon where people you know place a lot of weight on that person and in a way that can privilege them in certain ways and also lead to potential like power distortions and things like that you know it’s it’s only human that people will make mistakes and so having that kind of accountability of other people and also that time yeah you have people heart or a different there’s always like in every phase of life with the lifecycle there’s there’s like the maturing phases and so there’s like you know there’s a baby elder there’s enough adult Elder and then Senior Elder and so it’s just we have to learn at each stage of Life how to become the mature version of what that stage is and says just something to think about as well and it’s good to to get your feet wet early on in life so that you know we can have deep roots and and the and those are the kinds of people to like in the Tamara situation out of the black community they have a circle of Elders who are basically people who have grown with a community enough that they know the people in their community and then they serve a role as potential kind of like the Matchmaker but you know in a way where people can approach them in and ask them like you know I’m interested in this person and they can help you assess whether this is the right time or what is a good or bad idea and you know they can kind of that. Whole courtship in a way that you know really I think I wish there were more of those people around here don’t you let me relax you know learn the hard way what does that we’re just not compatible certain people in The Matrix the I mean yeah I’m not I’m not a political scientist of the Matrix but I will say that what got me peaked on the ecstatic trance dance group ritual ceremony festival thing was it really when I saw I think it was maybe the second movie or maybe it was the second or the third but there was a scene where they’re just getting down to like Juno Reactor I think was a soundtrack of a butt there is something beautiful about seeing the different the warrior culture Guided by elders and of course there’s different the archetypes playing out in Conflict split that to me was took it further than then the Star Trek Federation is a futuristic Elder guided Council guided kind of reality so that was kind of fun but yeah so that’s what came to mind when you’re at we’re talking about that be so cool if you’re early sexual oracle’s who you go to you know if we’re going to give you insights and maybe even have name your child for you or something cool like that you know be so cool but right on then will I worry about at the hours so do you have any closing touch you want to share or any other resources or should we just I’ll post the the links that you mention and I’ll definitely encourage people to stay informed and keep an eye out for your anything coming up you have any appearances or anything exciting like that coming up you want to mention I think yeah I think I covered a lot of it and I just wanted to maybe plant a seed while I have the airwaves here about something that I’d I’d eventually like to work on presenting which is around insert Intercultural relationships and also decolonizing our relationships as well and just thinking about how how we can heal some of these ancestral traumas and use that has as as a means to strengthen our relationships and also our society right on I’ll be looking forward to everything that you’re you’re expressing in the world and I hopefully yeah maybe sometime in the future we can talk about skill sets for Beyond Christian monogamy that would be a great topic so yeah how would you feel about that maybe we can sometime in the next few months follow up with something like that. Maybe by the by the time I’ll have more of a personal lived experience to a base conversation around that I think you know in terms of people who are already I don’t know how many listeners here are on a Christian spiritual path without that many but if the energy and gnosticism and sacred marriage not going to the alchemical top in the in the Gnostic tradition but I I wouldn’t make any claims to be an expert in that area but it’s definitely something to look at cool alright then we will be in touch and will follow up sometime in the future and thank you so much so be I really enjoyed it and I know it’s taking us a while to get this to get this done but I think it was perfect and I couldn’t ask for anything more so you have a wonderful day. Take care and keep for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and if you want a podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been at Contra Punk. Com Thomas Day

Tantra to the People with Devi Ward TPP32

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Devi Ward TantraIn this episode, Devi and I discuss the need for more grass roots activism within the modern tantra movement. We explore our complimentary visions for more publicly accessible resources that will bring tantra to the people!

Devi’s Bio:
Devi Ward is an internationally recognized Tantra Expert, Certified Tantric Healer, Certified Reiki Practitioner, Tibetan Tantric Dakini of the Shangpa Kagyu Lineage, and one of the first Westerners qualified to teach the Secret Tibetan Five Element Sexual Tantras, which stem from a 2,600 year old lineage of Tibetan Tantric Buddhism. She is an Author and Radio Host of Sex is Medicine with Devi Ward, airing live Thursdays at 7pm PST, on Contact Talk Radio.

Her personal journey from Stripper, to Monk, to Tantrika enables her to call upon her own experience of profound life transformation through Tantra and sexual healing. As a survivor of sexual abuse, Devi provides down-to-earth, experience-based insight into using sacred sexuality, Tantra, and “pleasure as medicine” for healing. She has had extensive training in Non-Violent Communication and has been facilitating Meditation and personal growth workshops since 2000.

Devi has been featured as a Tantra and Female Sexuality Expert in countless articles, and over 30 different radio and television networks world-wide including; Playboy Radio, Men’s Health Magazine, CBS, NBC and Rogers TV.

She has been a featured presenter at; Prana Yoga College and Rhodes Wellness College in Vancouver, BC. The 2013 Taboo, Naughty but Nice Show, The 2013 Living Extraordinary Conference, The 2013 Live and Be Well Conference in Vancouver, BC. The 2014 California Women’s Conference, The 2014 Detroit Women’s Conference, and The 2014 GDay Goddess Event in Vancouver, BC.

Please connect with her at:
http://deviwardtantra.com/

AI Generated Transcription:
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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin baby word welcome to the township Punk podcast this is episode number 32 and I’m so thrilled to have you on and I would love to have you do a little opening ceremony for us if you would invite you and everybody listening to had with your chin tilted slightly downward this aligns the chakras along your central Channel hands and a comfortable position tongue on the roof of your mouth and for this were going to meditate with her eyes open so eyes open in a soft gaze bringing your attention to your breath inhaling and exhaling through your nose and as you inhale feeling the air fill your belly feeling your belly expand as you inhale and feeling it relaxes you exhale now with your next inhalation breathing all the way into your genitals feeling your pelvic floor feeling your roots feeling your genitals your labia your lingam your scrotum your anus your whole bottom and bringing all of your attention and all of your awareness to your route letting it fill with life and as you exhale inviting that area of your body to relax to release and to let go I’m continuing to consciously breathe into your route into your pelvic floor I’m going to invite you to count 10 Bratz the count is at the end of each exhalation When You Reach 10 breaths just continue watching her breath and feeling your genitals and a way that we don’t normally have an opportunity and then when you’ve completed your 10 deep breaths just gently bringing your awareness back and noticing how you feel how your body feels and how you feel in your body and that’s all 50 siblings so I want to say first of all I grew up in Bellingham Washington and so are you is that where you’re located now or that I know you were there in the past it won’t be happy to have made the decision to stay here I wasn’t I wasn’t sure I was going to stay but I decided to stay so here I am I’m loving it so I have a few items and I listen to all of your podcasts and I hope also listen to all of the Francesca Gentilly 6 * 4 Kamasutra podcast from a few years back and I’ve also been following all of Laurie handlers podcast and so I feel like I have a lot of good sense of a lot of what’s going on in the tundra field and I particularly wanted to address a few topics with you that I haven’t heard that you’ve touched on but I’d like to explore a little bit further and one of them is the kind of response that X speakers can be making as activist to mitigate sexual violation and also to apply some of what we know towards the prevention side and the treatment side of the perpetrators and the Predators who if you look at the Staggering statistics there’s a lot come out there and I’m curious what your thoughts are on that issue if you care to share well show perpetrators like rape and that kind of thing just like you know nor like we’re living a rape culture you talking about like people who have actual what I would consider to be like a type of illness like that like to molest little children so what are you talkin about everything or just certain things well yeah it’s it’s a spectrum right and I remember one of the interviews you did with that person who’s doing the research on making the porn addiction recovery kits and do you remember she mentioned at one point that the new statistics are showing that it’s not actually textbook clinical pedophilia pedophiles who are starting to engage in child sexual abuse there actually people who are addicted to the extreme porn and they’re starting to go out and act out these extreme fantasies are getting from the poor and so it’s kind of like you know to reframe the question based on you said I’m curious on your thoughts across the Spectrum everything from just horny teenagers and date rape to you know creepy old man The Stranger Danger the in the home danger of friends of the family relatives and even father’s you know whatever comes to mind I’m curious to know what you have to say yeah so so for me what comes to mind is always identifying the cause or the need that’s attempting to be met through that action so you know I really don’t think that there is one succinct answer to the question truly because when you we talked about you know child molestation will keeping in mind that so many people have been molested themselves and that’s the trauma that continues to perpetuate itself right so my experience of the little bit of experience I’ve had in in encountering you know they have a history of sexual abuse and Trauma like passing down that lineage so can Contra help with that will of course I mean in a help with pretty much anything in my opinion but again it’s identifying the car so somebody like that who has a severe trauma that’s motivating their behavior is going to be different than somebody who’s just desensitize because I grew up in porn culture that make sense absolutely yeah yeah yeah go ahead the the lying need that the behavior or the strategy is attempting to meet so you know we’re just talking about generally living in porn culture and rape culture well God I mean wow there is so multifaceted like I on my wrist Show recently I had dr. Ron Goldman and we were talking about so you know circumcision trauma I honestly I truly believe you no impact man haven’t ever raped or can ever rape but I really believe that infant male circumcision contributes to a tremendous amount of our the propensity of sexual violence in in men and you know he spoke at length about severing the mother-infant bonding birth and just the way we do birth in the burning process in Western culture like we are a culture of people walking around who have suffered trauma you know it did to one degree or another some of us more so than others and so I think a lot of our society culture is a reflection of trauma and so again it’s about going to the route going to the source understanding what trauma is how it impacts the nervous system how it destabilizes and creates and causes dysfunction and what are these causes what are the sources of @ramen if we remove those causes and we remove those sources I think we have a very different expression of life we be seeing very very different things in our culture at if everything from you know suffering of the mother and pain pain male circumcision to you know living in it and a sex negative and completely ignorant culture I mean that’s traumatizing to us so yeah I mean I just think there’s so many layers to him that I that I don’t think there’s one solution other than identifying the cause and looking to remove it is that make sense yeah definitely and this is kind of become my passion I’m a Survivor and yeah this is this is kind of it become my life study and I just want to say again I’m so grateful that you were out there in all of the country cuz you’re out there a dressing that whole spectrum of issues that you were mentioning from the trauma to the shaming and the sex negativity and just the whole Shadow Miss of sexuality it’s going to breed Shadow behavior and you know I’ve experienced some extreme forms of victimization and and that’s why it matters so much to me to connect with people like you on this and I am curious what your thoughts are on framing this issue Laurie handlers at one point said in one of her podcast that she views this sort of times for sexual healing work as a form of modern-day exorcism and that when you’re removing blockages and this is my paraphrasing but removing of blockages energetically actually something a lot more tangibly biological on an aspen and Astro perspective I don’t know Buddhist Tantra Hindu Tantra is very Adept at understanding that there are entities that are opportunistic and that are going to try to you know create harm in our Dimension and that’s a lot for some people to swallow Western clinical Medical Science they don’t want to acknowledge the spirit world they want to look at chemistry and Physiology and not phenomenology some wondering how does that strike you the idea that when we’re we’re dealing with the form of exorcism when we’re doing this Sexual Healing work with Tantra is that variety different levels like you know who you think about Carl Jung and and confronting our shadows and kind of like feeding our demons that sort of thing so our internal demons and whether or whether those demons are separate entities you don’t work or not is is Up For Debate even in Tantra Buddhism I mean on one level yeah I mean I’m very much believe in the spirit realm I have direct experience of it many of the people that are closest to me see spirits in other psychics and I just that’s what that’s part of your world so it’s so it’s a Consciousness in a culture that I’m very comfortable with and and and pretty much live and breathe in exist within and as far as doing art untoward Sexual Healing work are we exercising while perhaps some external entities but also their internal demons as well you know so it’s kind of like you get to a certain level of where inside outside same so is this demon showing up outside of me just a reflection of a demon inside of me or vice versa is right I don’t really think it matters to a large degree other than the fact that we that we are in fact doing the healing work and we are re stabilizing and recalibrating our ability to function as whole healthy human being so what whatever that means wherever the trauma comes from is it you know my father gave me a spirit when I was 15 or is it just that you know I have a low self-esteem you know what is it what is the cause and then what is it what is the what is a symptom of it it doesn’t doesn’t really matter to a degree to me it’s more about making sure that we have the tools that we need to remove those blocks to blister to heal and to become fully functional does that make sense if you can feel where I’m trying to go with this it said there’s this ancient spirit world taxonomy and then there’s this modern denial of the spirit world and Tantra and psychedelics and psychedelic Tantra together are really revealing the truth of what we’re both talking about in ways that I think you know are starting to be clinically tested and you don’t discovered in the modern sense and I really I guess this makes me want to move on to the next question which is let’s say Davey that you and I were a part of a team that was given pretty much an infinite Blue Sky budget to solve these problems and to create sex-positive holistic sexual Enterprise zones that are maybe not in the middle of the downtown shopping district but maybe somewhere in like a permaculture Farm environment or some kind of tropical island where we can do legal work on sir drivers and do harm reduction Rehabilitation for perpetrators in different areas let’s say and actually have Resort Hotel sexual spas and combined these things in a permaculture design where all of the different service providers are working in harmony Inn in concert and there’s also just all kinds of ecological Dimensions to it I have that Vision I feel like you’re the kind of person I believe you have a gardening background to if I remember correctly what kind of Visions come to mine if you were imagining you had no legal limitations and no Financial limitations to create view of the paradise for Heelers season 4 Taurus and everything you know orientation right now is really if I had unlimited resources I would bring it to the people like I would go to Detroit and I would create a Healing Center in Detroit for people to continuously access on everyday level because this is a thing that I’ve discovered we need support everyday for our healing process it isn’t just something that we get to take a vacation you know once a year and work on it for a couple weeks and then we’re back and we’re all good and then we’re back in life no it’s an everyday thing and we need the support if we’re talkin about creating Community healing Community we need that support on an everyday basis we need it you know 24/7 and especially when we’re talking about doing things like healing trauma people need access to resources now and they need access to resources in their communities and can’t be something that you know they’ve got to go fly away too quiet and the thing is is most of the people that I’ve encountered that have them need for these resources they don’t have a freaking money to go on the healing vacation and go to a Healing Spa like that’s for people who have the privilege of having enough money and that’s a great wonderful thing and may we all be blessed but some of the people that need the healing the most don’t have two pennies to rub together right so that’s where I want to go if I have unlimited resources I want to use those resources to build things for the people who don’t have the resources to do it for themselves that make sense I’m so glad to hear you say that the next level for me too cuz I feel like I’ve had to get a lot of access to the healing that I needed my whole life by you know blessings and miracles it wasn’t easy to find the people I found in to get connected and and I I do I struggle financially so it’s it’s not it didn’t come easy but yeah hearing you say that is actually the model that I really want to see happen I’d like to see The for-profit Intercept Enterprise country cousin six you know Industries pornographers and Moguls of all that actually kick down to create goddess clinics if we could use a term if so let’s talk about that because I feel like they’re there will come a time when the the the highly lucrative sector sector of the sexual healing world will will be so kind as to help set up these nonprofit kind of charitable Community Healing Centers in in in in like a clinic kind of model so if you would develop that further and just talk about what’s a date what it what what is a normal day look like for a Community Access kind of Clinic model we’re in the process of creating here in Bellingham Bella Vino the two to the degree that we can but we’re actually that’s what we’re reorienting our business model to to include a non-profit Branch to bring these instructions out into the community so that people can have access to them right so you know if I could have anything I wanted quite frankly I would buy a building in Detroit have it read renovated and I would have I obviously would have to certified Tibetan Tantra practitioners teaching the four pillars of Tibetan Tantra on an everyday basis and there would be meditation classes Dharma classes are there the movement classes there would perhaps be in a once-a-week discussion grooves Tantra classes that sort of thing and then I also really wanted to open it up and bringing other modalities of healing and other Educators another excellent practitioners in their field and and create a community where were supporting each other in healing ring and personal growth and also supporting each other through our break down so that we can have breakthrough so the breakdowns become breakthroughs nonviolent communication is a huge part of my lifestyle I believe in it absolutely passionately it something I I aspire to live and breathe in every moment so having daily classes in that perhaps you know and just totally knew concepts of this is all just like flying by the seat of my pants for the most part in into the absolute structure what it would look like but more for me it’s actually having a tangible physical place where people can come to access resources and then there would obviously be some food growing too because my dog the amount of food we can grow on like such a position of land is in sand there’s no reason people should be starving in the cities you can grow food that was one of my aspirations many years ago is the setup Gardens in inner cities cuz there was all this on you land and it’s like it’s and it’s such a joyful experience to participate in the cycle of life to like I love honestly I love composting my poop yes posting my Campos in my room and then putting it on the fruit trees and then growing fruit trees and then eating the fruit and then pooping and then pooping in the compost pile of that whole cycle right I love it and I love like when I lived on a farm in like clean mucking out the chicken in the hen house and then taking the poop and whatever to the Garden have been growing my food in that and I just I love that I love that whole cycle of of life and I think it’s healing and it’s healthy for us as human beings to have our hands in the dirt absolutely yeah actually is a little thing on the side I can’t wear this recently but someone is talking about all the C-section births it’s limiting the exposure to healthy beneficial bacteria is through the vaginal Canal that would be used to build you know the baby’s immune system and I’m so this is so music to my ears hearing you say this bringing us all together the ecological gardening and the on the sun site facility permaculture stuff it’s this is my dream absolutely and so I’m already just so thrilled you’re here you’re missing this together and I don’t feel so alone in this Vision cuz yeah I mean I see you know that I think the chances that a victim of any kind of sexual violation is going to discover the healing path of Tantra is bait there’s just no educational marketing budget like a dare program but I see being you know that the Surgeon General just declare is Tantra 8 in the medical eyes form tonsil it’s a or clinical form of of it as part of what you get and your health care package because it’s it’s so debilitating to be suffering from the after-effects of sexual abuse it’s it’s just you know I want allies in this Mission time and yet on the other hand that doesn’t have to stop us from bringing it to the people who needed the most I think some of the confusion those there are so many different styles of Tantra out there but it can be confusing that’s why I’m really clear that what I practice and teaches Tibetan Tantra so it’s not the same so when people come to me looking for Tom’s riney have to let them know it it’s not the same as what you saw on TV it’s not even going to be the same as like a practitioner in Seattle same city that I live in let’s be there’s different lineages there’s different styles of practices and they do overlap in some cases but not in every case and one of the primary differences and in my practice in those people I associate with his chakras medicine and that’s what I hear you saying that it said that it’s a pop of profound healing not everybody uses or talk to her that way right so that create some confusion definitely definitely well I feel like you know the check is already in the mail these prayers are being heard and listen to and we’ll get the help we need and I’m just thrilled about that so I will if there’s another another side that I love to get your your your feelings and thoughts about which is I consider myself a pretty hardcore eco-feminist the scholar and I I feel it’s a man’s Duty and in a patriarchal world if he has any connection to his heart to really develop compassion around 5,000 years of patriarchal domination and Dominator culture and because I I I have that like I guess pretty academic overview of the history of patriarchy would say I feel like something that could be an extension of of what we’re talking about would be to actually acknowledge how threatening the world is and actually put together funding and infrastructure to create sexual refugee camps as a term for all of the victims of throughout the world in war-torn zones and just poverty-stricken nation’s course southeast Asia and all these sex tourism hot spots and actually be like okay some people from the first world can shave off a tiny bit of their extravagant incomes to support developing centers where they’re actually full I’m like a like a regular refugee camp but of course with permaculture and of course with there’s actually I believe it’s Bangladesh that has a completely female police keeping our peacekeeping police unit that’s all you know kid it up from head to toe and they they’re their able to secure territory so wondering how is that something that you could ride with the idea of a sexual refugee camp model that could be established in different places throughout the world and I think there’s I think there’s a lot of us out there who are doing a lot of victim support what I am really starting to feel turned on by as looking again at the perpetrators like what is the motivating behavior of the perpetrators is it can we get to the core underlying need can we find out there why why are they doing this is it because they’re disconnected is it because they’re ignorant is because they’re in pain like what is the why I want to I want to address Wyatt’s why it’s happening to begin with as opposed to you know the aftermath dealing with the aftermath yes we do need to address the aftermath for sure absolutely and I just kind of feel like you know looking at my career in the world it’s like there’s a lot of really amazing stunts Rica’s and sexual healers and sex educator is out there that are that are providing that that are doing that better leaders in my and what what’s really interesting and motivating to me is looking at the depth of pain that causes someone to cause that degree of harm to another human being. That’s what I’m curious about awesome I will do so if you had let’s say another sub project of your infinite budget if you were to let’s say it was talk about in Africa the soldiers who rape infants because of a belief system that it’s safer to protect themselves from HIV infection as one example of extreme almost institutionalized you child sexual abuse and rape what what kind of infrastructure would you put in place or how would you approach something like that with your team in your budget inn but I I don’t do em like I don’t do em but I don’t I’m and I’m an idea person I like the how to like that’s what I hire other people to do cuz I don’t know how to do that wasn’t what I would do is say okay so here’s the situation so let’s get a room together the perpetrators and let’s start doing some NDC work or something you don’t like I’m a person that they would call in to teach specific modalities I’m not the person who can figure out how to put it all together to make it work that’s not me okay going to say sorry sorry to shoot you down there I just yeah that makes sense though this was the question was going to ask so too these war-torn regions I just think about I think about I asked why I asked the higher self the spirits the guy you know what are the deepest wounds on Earth in terms of where demons are getting a free lunch the easiest and it’s a Native American reservations war-torn regions in Africa and the sex trade zones in throughout the world where there’s this extreme brothels and whatnot and and I wonder how do you put those those operations out of business and I’m very hopeful about this concept that is called The Sex Drake is that something you’ve studied at all or that you have any thoughts on as far as how to how to get these guys attention you know you want to go have a you know a training with to get themselves healed and figure it out if they if women are basically United in this some sex strike movement then they get to have some bargaining power and get to put these young boys through some initiations to get them straightened out like bat in North looks to North America as a role model for Behavior right you know we got Hollywood in media and and people watch our stuff all over the world in model their lives and their you know they’re their modes in their morals and ethics and codes of conduct after what they think hours are from watching our media and let’s also acknowledge the fact that in Africa you know there are millions of men being circumcised because the American Center for Disease Control decided that that’s a good fucking idea so there’s all these men better now having you know suffering the trauma of having the most sensitive part of their penis cut off because Americans think that’s a good idea right and then oh wow look at all the violence nor that’s happening to him is that a coincidence I really don’t think so so I really think you’re talkin about like yes these are all these war-torn countries and whatever like there is to know they’re their father for these end do you stew that’s what’s a good food there but I also think like my really motivated by think globally and act locally and I think that like as a country is a western Nation the United States is pretty effed up I mean just again talking with Ron Goldman about the birthing practices and the trauma that’s perpetuated and the first world nation just by the way women give birth in this culture just buy that all you have to do is change a few things about the birthing process and you were around ocated a tremendous amount of trauma and keeping in mind that trauma perpetuates, so if we as a first world nation as leaders in many ways as role models are consistently perpetuating a a society a culture of trauma what impact does it have on the rest of the world huge impact so I really motivated to act like to act locally like let’s get our shit cleaned up let’s be like we living the ideal that we all truly want to live let’s be in integrity and being Harmony and being balanced mind body and spirit and then from there we can bring that message to other countries instead of bringing these screwed up effed-up methods that are just cause dysfunction and disease and bombs and whatever else we brought the other countries the last few hundred years let’s create a model of sustainability of Health and Wellness of compassion of love let’s let’s create a functioning healthy society and then and then support other communities in building a pond that that makes sense me to that the reason that those places are embroiled in Warfare is because they’re trying to serve first world markets for whatever it is diamonds or other mining operations minerals it’s all funneling into the the same system of colonialism that’s been the reason that everything got torn apart hundreds or thousands years ago so you’re absolutely right when in I’m so bad I don’t have a television and I don’t watch cable and so I’m totally ignorant when it comes to current event news because I just I had literally do not pay attention to it but it’s so the last Wars we had with a bushy no and office and all that like those countries are still freaking devastated devastated because of us because of us so it’s kind of like you know like we need to get her own shit together before we start going out preaching to people about how they need to get their shit together and if we as world leaders are actually healthy and functional that is going to send a tone for the rest of the world it absolutely will but we’re pretty dysfunctional as individuals that make up a very dysfunctional culture so let’s let’s go to the source let’s go to the route absolutely wonderful well I’m going to take another deep breath cuz I appreciate you bearing your soul and working through some of this very fiery material and I think since we have a few minutes left shift gears into something a little softer and more playful if you don’t mind ya and I just got to say I’m so happy that we’re talking and it has been something I’ve been dreaming of for a long time and it gives me a lot of power and passion to move forward and I feel like I really do also resonate with that circumcision episode you just did my mother had the had the graciousness to not have mutilated and she kept me uncut and I I did suffer in childhood a bit if I’m feeling of different nests or awkwardness but I believe me it’s been over over by the the blessing of having it there and and I can relate and I know I know it’s it is extremely damaging and I believe that you’re so right and he was so right saying that this is a trauma at that stage is just going to Cascade so so the my my Direction I want to go for those few minutes in s you some thoughts on the idea of your thoughts about the how how are we going to I mean I know your prescription for 6 weeks of semen retention and I’m I’m I’m going to be honest I’m it’s my ideal to work out to that and as it as an uncut person it’s I think it’s a lot harder to I mean that’s what anywhere between every up to 70% more watching the statue that you have to have that you have to transmute at 2 to retain your semen in and I feel like there’s an interesting Spectrum I’ve studied this white tigers phenomenon in China where the women know that the Jing and the end of the minerals in the essence that is coming from the semen they actually have a a culture of consuming that every day and they have older guys that practice the longer term semen retention and they get one of his one of his offerings on a longer-term cycle and then the your guys they’re essentially sucking them off on daily basis and absorbing all that and developing themselves and titties you know living goddesses based on that so that’s one interesting cultural example and then I know there’s there’s tantric rituals hinder tantric rituals where the ejaculate is part of the ritual but there’s transmutation in between and then I’ve heard things like as long as you transmute the energy than you sort of them absorb the essence up the chakras and if you spill your seed at that point it’s not as big of a deal and then another extreme there’s these sex Magik gnostics who believe that any ejaculation at all in your life is opening up this portal to hell and there such a thing as in their view a inverted Kundalini snakes that are sort of demonic in nature and better really running the world because of extreme over ejaculation and I I’m somewhere in there in an alignment with that feeling like these these all this corn is a form of Satanic ritual abuse where they’re using ejaculation as a I really like sort of demonic or satanic kind of a function so is there a practical strategy I know you have your teachings that would you know train a man to be able to last for six weeks before release could you provide some practical outlines for how you get a man who’s used to probably just used to ejaculating everyday to some training wheels and what not to get him on that path towards the longer-term retention strategy like what do you think about that is there any Marriott intermediary path well the first thing to recognize is that orgasm and ejaculation or two separate functions of the nervous system so you just need the correct methods to begin separating them and to me that’s part of becoming a sexually mature mad I mean if you was a man or not able to choose when you ejaculate to a large degree end if you haven’t experienced non ejaculatory orgasm is moving into multiple orgasms in here till you’re still sexually immature same for women women who have an experienced multiple multiple orgasms are sexually immature as well and we’re stuck to their sexual maturity stunt in because we don’t receive education of us culture so what I say six weeks when we say six weeks between ejaculation we don’t mean six weeks between orgasim we mean specifically ejaculation ejaculation has one tiny little type of orgasm men are capable of over eight different kinds of orgasm and the men that I work with his students and clients in the men who I take to be my lover’s they will tell you that that after they go through that initial. Of separating orgasm from ejaculation which is really really simple with the methods that we teach when they get to about week 4 5 6 they don’t want to ejaculate they feel so amazing their orgasms there non ejaculatory orgasms becomes so much more satisfying that they rarely ever want to ejaculate and when they do it’s like there is a planet be like okay we’re going to have a party we’re going to Steve already had 10 other non ejaculatory full-body orgasms event and one of my lovers who I was playing with just this weekend have the most end pain in my entire life it was like his whole body was like contorted for like over a minute it was over admitted it was just like he was amazing for the drop of a jackulate I mean it was toe curling it we were so amazing we were laughing it was so intense right not a drop of a jackulate so you know it’s kind of like from my perspective and I’ve heard the man again the mineko this it’s like you take your the best ballbuster you’ve ever had where you like it was the best fucking orgasm you’ve ever had and literally multiply that by a hundred and that is what your potential is when you learn to separate orgasm from ejaculation so the trick is just is learning the correct methods and that’s what I make a living doing so there’s a variety of ways you can access those whether it’s through me or online program but once you have the instructions it’s really simple it’s not rocket science it’s so simple it’s ridiculous that more people don’t know it awesome so where I’m at is it is it sounds like what you’re saying is it when I try to explain this to people because I have mastered the art of separating and having multiple full body and then just you’re just in an orgasm forever kind of a feeling or you’re in this the field of orgasm as opposed to the sneeze response of ejaculation and and that just last and and and I honestly feel when I dance with somebody I feel like I’m seriously having full full body multiple chakra orgasm and something just uncorks I think and you get to that that spot and it becomes easier not to ejaculate the thing the thing I want to ask you is it because this is such an event horizon 4 people to you just can’t imagine it like you’re saying x Hunter is my mucus can’t even pay you can’t conceptualize that you have to do the work to get there and but that’s a good fits a huge payoff so what I’m curious to ask you right now than is I guess maybe I’m still in development because what all what I’ll do is I’ll just do like the Cobra breath kind of a thing shipping or the big draw you know sipping up the energy so I’m kind of cycling almost like playing a didgeridoo or something like that it’s like it’s like it’s like playing it like you watch somebody play didgeridoo that’s what you got to do when that energy builds up and then you don’t have to have the mechanical intervention that’s more dangerous that million dollar spot thing where it’s like you’re actually interrupting the flow after it’s gone past the prostate and you know that’s kind of dangerous so when you were with a man who at one of these 6-week guys which I got to say it’s Way Beyond where I’ve you know been able to get so I’m excited to get there but the my question for you is when you were with the man who is being seized upon by the urge to ejaculate what does it look like what does he look like in your arms is he will wrestling a wild boar is he whistling Dixie what is the physiology of a man who’s at that level when he’s trying to Let It Go there’s two different questions they’re so so for the that I’m playing with and then I make it as soon as I do not have sex with my student so I’ve been there’s a distinction between my students who I teach these things and then they go home and do them and then my lover so I’m actually playing with so so my current lover there is no fighting if there’s no he’s there he’s there’s no fighting ejaculation like it’s just he’s just his body just retains its just what it does and we do make good use of the million-dollar point we use the million-dollar Point like that’s the introductory method that we used to begin the process of separating orgasm from ejaculation and once that’s happened in the body takes over in and of itself and then you very rarely need use the million-dollar point print and the research that I’ve done and then also living with doctor in his who’s am Natural Health Specialists in tibetan holistic healing Specialists never had any readings or results that the million-dollar point is dangerous and anyway if it’s being used properly and correctly so I don’t necessarily agree that that’s a dangerous practice to use I think it’s extremely useful for retraining the nervous system to separate those two and then what I found in both my lovers in my students is once you hit that 6-week Mark and this is what they report they say that there’s a shift between four to six weeks when they naturally move into multiple orgasms they just naturally start their bodies just need dozen of its own volition and then they rarely need to use the Block it’s more a matter of you know what I usually they will usually they will but it’s not yeah it’s it’s never a case that I have an experienced wrestling with an advanced what I would call an advanced practitioner of semen retention that he’s never been wrestling it’s more a case of if he gets too close we just relax and breathe I know there’s a few different semen retention holds that we use I’ll be on the million-dollar point that can support a man in learning to relax with sensation without going over the edge so I’ll do some of those with her you know it’s it’s it’s it’s never like a big crisis or anything it’s just they know there’s they they by the time they moved into multiple orgasms they know their point of no return so that you know if they’re getting close to the point of no return that we just like relax and breathe for a few moments until he’s harnessed is downward-pointing wins and then we can proceed so there’s a there’s a whole bunch of other things that you can do to strengthen your what we call your downward-pointing winds which is going to strengthen and enhance your ability to control direct and maintain your semen you know so that’s why we say it’s a holistic practice it isn’t just your breath isn’t just using his holds it isn’t just doing certain movements it’s all of it together it’s a yo got so life practice and when you use all of these tools together it’s like dancing you mentioned dancing you’re a dancer so you know it’s like when you’re first learning a new style of dads it’s very cerebral and very intellectual but once you integrate the the the practice into your nervous system in your body that’s what you actually that’s that’s when you’re creating art so it’s just it’s it’s just a simple practice of diligence to go from just starting using the methods consistently over a. Of time as instructed and then you’ll get to a certain point where it just comes is easily and naturally as breathing like the men that I’m making love with it’s it’s it’s one so I shouldn’t keep saying that no one man that I’m making love with currently it’s it’s a yeah it’s I mean it’s just it’s easily and naturally as breathing in his orgasm remind me every time he has an orgasm it’s it’s new he’s like I’m having a orgasm as I’ve never thought I can have before it’s like a completely new sensation in almost every time so it’s it’s truly we haven’t even scratched the surface of our of our human sexual potentials really phenomenal beautiful awesome exactly all I wanted to hear and I should be a clarified based on what you said there’s I’ve heard of Potential danger with the mechanical interruptions but you’re saying that’s an intermediary step and you were lying it less and less over time and really it’s the energetic movement that you’ve developed first very cognitively and then it takes over on its own so there is lots of Hope and lots of potential for people to get beyond the heads to the event horizon and just be in the zone and in a flow State dancing with the multiple orgasm says it’s like it’s infinite there is there truly is no end goal like there isn’t it we will continue and that’s cuz, like to me what God is God is infinite Consciousness and ever-expanding forever and that’s what we are as humans we are God incarnate so our experiences ever-evolving and our sexual experiences infinite and that’s that but I don’t know how anyone could ever get bored with sex it’s like there’s there’s so much more to explore so awesome will it it’s I know it’s time for you to head out so I’m going to say thank you thank you thank you so much and my final thought prayer is that we leave the foreskin and tax and that we value the sexual Spiritual Development of men as much if not more than we currently value or top boxers and football players in other contact Sports always say I leave the world in in having mixed Healing Arts competitions as much as mixed martial arts competition that’s my prayer and if you want to say a beautiful prayer to close I would so appreciate it for ultimate Limitless expansion and growth for all of us as individuals and as a planet and as a Yazoo society and the culture and I ain’t know when I really I feel so blessed that there are so many of us on this planet Awakening to female sexual Armon and I’m really turned on and and invested in male sexual empowerment as much as I am female sexual Carbonite all right I’ll see you in the future Hunter Park. Calm and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition to see me and improving the podcast your donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple everybody keep a logical employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email event at Archer Park. Com Damas de

Sacred Yes Sacred No with David Bruce Leonard TPP31

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tp-david-bruce-leonard-picIn this episode we discuss David’s work at the Earth Medicine Institute where he provides healing programs that incorporate both the loving arts and the martial arts. We then discuss some of the ethics and dangers of sexual healing work followed by an overview of some of the  benefits of and precautions  for the practice of semen retention.

David’s Bio:
David Bruce Leonard is a deep ecologist, body-worker, Qigong practitioner, acupuncturist, martial artist, and plant lover. He has studied medicine with teachers in Asia, North and South America, and Hawai’i. David believes that our health and the meaning of our lives are inseparable from our interactions with the natural world. He has worked in a bank, done marine whale research, and has been seen in public attempting to dance Argentine tango.

David is available for workshops and consultations in the creation of men’s groups and support circles. Private coaching sessions for men or couples are available. He can be reached via his website www.EarthMedicineInstitute.com.

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Tantra Punk your guide to sexual Liberation healing and empowerment as a certified Tantra counselor and certified permaculture designer I’m here to help you grow spiritually sexually and ecologically my online and in-person counseling sessions and training programs are price to fit any budget I’m looking forward to helping you design and ever more Divine Life Path please send me an email to Ben at Tantra Punk. Com and our journey together will begin okay so David Bruce Leonard at the Earth medicine Institute how are you doing today welcome to the tundra Punk podcast well I’m baby myself pretty well all right all right well I was introduced to your work by a dear friend of mine and I I’ve been looking at your website and excited about all the books that you’ve done and I’m very new to you and all of your great works in the world but I’m very excited I think you’re doing a lot of the stuff that I aspire to be doing in my my pets so if you don’t mind give us a kind of some background how did you get to where you’re at now and spend as much time as feels natural and then we’ll go from there and talk about some of the specifics I mean like you I’m very interested and sacred sexuality and also self-defense I think a lot of those pieces were War because I was beating up a lot of the kid so ocean traumatized as a young man and well later on when I’ve always been sort of sexually precocious when I ended up in high school I I just part of my shadow and part of whatever you want to call that there’s a part of me that really wanted to be loved and accepted by girls when I started dating so I kind of fell into that and then became very interested and sacred sexuality and eventually that became clear that was a piece of piece of shadow in the shadows the parts of ourselves you don’t want to look at it so I started doing some work with that part of myself and began writing and it’s been an ongoing process awesome so you’re in what you’re not one of the Hawaiian Islands right now so and then do you have a dwelling at that Institute site is it that works no actually I take care of my mom so I’m in on Maui and my mom is elderly and I lived with her and take care of her I’m just here for her so I want us to be as good as I can make them awesome awesome it’s so that the facility is you have like a like a Healing Center and Training Center kind of Temple Sacred Space or no we do not miss is here depending on which island them on cuz I teach on on Kauai and Maui and the big island and Oahu so this place is I use on Maui as different facilities and places on the big island and on Kauai and Oahu also but no I’m kind of medicine Institute we have been different instructors on different islands and and then when I travel I also you know I teach another places also oh that’s cool yeah I’m actually I’m really looking into and considering that kind of more of a flexible kind of gypsy model for instruction and holding in creating space for especially the darker kind of Shadow work I don’t know if this is something that you’ve encountered or that you’ve considered but there is I guess I would say for my personal experience there’s there’s a lot of potential liability when you’re opening up these deep wounds and people and you just never know what kind of support they’re going to need you can try to be very supportive but I feel like a lot of drama and personality conflicts and issues and liabilities can accumulate in one fix location I don’t know if that’s something that’s like a factor that you consider or or do not the sacred sexuality week each is erotic body work but it’s talk to couples so I don’t actually do erotic body work on clients that’s not part of what I do I train couples to work on each other I’m so in some ways that’s what it mitigates a lot of the liability because I don’t do I don’t do any erotic touching people I know people do when I think it’s fine work is just not what I choose to do Andy self-defense work is is it is an already existing system called Fast offense which I I began to learn about the roots of that back in the mid-80s and I’ve been tracking it ever since and I become certified in that a few years ago and said that work is already very established and is actually very little liability with a self-defense piece huh yeah so mostly I like right now I’m working on a series of of instructional video tapes for couples so they can learn to do a rouse work on each other so the work itself code can be therapeutic I mean theoretically it’s therapeutic if it’s done with couples but I don’t work as a therapist with people who been traumatized sexually that not with the erotic Body Works and ends with the self-defense would you work with that Banda legal issues with a picture right it’s a very tricky work and we have to be extremely squeaky-clean specialist men doing this work so right right will this is against is so exciting for me to hear that you’re bringing these two worlds together because I feel like every time I start to open my mouth as myself a sexual abuse Survivor and you know a victim of different forms of non-sexual physical emotional violence building the sacred Warrior Peaceful Warrior masculine archetype within myself as a as a response to buy wounding every time I start talking about that with people who are more on the the new age sort of trip they get sort of shut down to order they get very hostile to it because it’s it’s bringing in you know the notion of fighting in combat in and that’s something that they would just rather iick neglect or ignore as part of the reality that were in and and I think that’s not really holistic good for trail in the world you know the wonderful and beautiful and peaceful place and it can be a very violent dangerous place and we ignore either one of those possibilities that are parallel that created the work that fast was originally part of service model mugging which was created by a man than that Thomas he created fast because he was sexually assaulted as a repeatedly in an orphanage and that was how all of this work came about so I think it and I think it would take somebody like that who’s been through hell and back and come out the other side to really create something as brilliant as well as what we the now in the past offense so I can totally see why you’re doing the work and you know why I do the work and one that created the the self-defense work right eye I was exposed to his material when I listen to something it was called the self-defense Show podcast and I don’t know it’s been defunct for years I don’t even know if it’s still available online but they interviewed him and I heard that years ago and I was totally stoked on it and I picked up his book defend yourself I think it still hurts very good yeah it’s filled with those you know the powerful statistics and yet his story would just bring you to tears and and I have always since I have known about the adrenal stress response training in the model mugging and all this revolutionary scientific street self-defense combat kind of restructuring martial arts to a more practical indirect kind of format I was very have been very excited about it I haven’t myself been able to access the certification training but you want to talk a little bit about exact or actually go into detail going to death why is the fast combatives different than going to a a karate in a dojo years and there’s nothing like this work that I’ve ever seen it’s a it’s a combination of it’s in some ways it’s a huge it’s a it’s a ceiling in Sacred Space ritual disguised as a self-defense class let me back up a little bit because I have a belief or an observation that trauma is created in a hide rental in state and pretty much all that I can imagine is created and that that state is imprinted on a body in that biochemical response in adrenal response I believe there are two ways to address or two more than two ways for the two ways that I can think of off the top of my head that might be effective in addressing trauma one is to recreate the adrenalized state in Sacred Space and give them give the body a different physical outcome which is what we doing fast wee wee is scenario-based so we will recover after a lot of work a lot of preparation we will recreate a situation that was originally very traumatic we recreate the state in the person going through it and then we allow we train them to move their body in a way that I believe rewires the limbic system if it takes on a new imprint around that it basically because of trauma is like a tape Loop like a record that skips for those of us that are old enough to remember records that keeps repeating and if it’s as it is playing in the background in our bodies and it often creates a kind of hyper-vigilance it really kind of drives the bus of Our Lives when we recreate the original trauma and give the body a different outcome it’s I believe it is changes the set point of the trauma and let’s the trauma take a backseat is still there you know but it no longer drives the bus are you familiar with Peter Levine’s work no he was a book called waking the tiger and he does the exact same kind of work only cycle more psychological song about self-defense the same thing with people have been traumatized in a sacred container and then gives the body a different physical outcome to the trauma that we do the same thing in mankind project which is a men’s initiation project group I’ve been involved with will take again a traumatic situation we we recreate a scenario and then with allowing the full physical force in the body to give a different outcome to that to that trauma I believe it changes the set point in the nervous system and allows people to integrate what happened better right right well yeah so kind of even though it’s not therapy it’s a form of therapeutic work that it’s disguised as a self-defense class and then the other way I think that one can do that his can treat trauma is again in the Sacred Space but in a very parasympathetic relax space a meditation space which would be sacred sexuality and I find you no different people gravitate towards different forms of that I also see what kinds of amazing things you can do if we are willing to step back through our our integrity work as man and create a container or space that other people which other people can heal I think it’s incredibly powerful Rite Aid instructor for 18 years he created fast because he he’s so well he left he left model mugging his do some political issues that he decided he would rather not deal with which I think was a good move on his part and he really Innovative so he took model mugging which is originally for solid days of tranny they turned it into a 4-Hour class and honestly Bill him as well as being a very dedicated Warrior genius he took the the model mugging work any concentrated concentrated it added men to the mix of men can also in this work and added weapons and really kind of brought model mugging and Matt’s work into the 21st century and said what we do is we you know I have a suit I have people I work with female instructors and then the female instructor is just as important as the male instructor because she is the the voice that she is not the healthy voice the voice of the healthy healthy feminine in the woman so when the scenario is going on she’s always behind the woman she’s always giving her information feedback guiding her when when women after they’ve taken the class when they have been assaulted and their body goes into autopilot in the statistics are incredible like the statistics of it’s like 99.5% of the people to go to the class when faced with a physical violent altercation when he’s women against rape powerful men they win they say they can hear the woman’s voice in their head going through it so yeah so we do so the female structure is just as important as the mailing is the guy you know people think it’s about the suit and it’s not really about the students about the teaching modalities in the pedagogy that is involved in rear I believe rewiring people’s limbic systems awesome yes this is a conversation ever wanted to have for a long time and I’ve I’ve actually kind of on a low budget adapted what I know of these principles certainly not using the name or selling it but just with my own no dating partners and friends you know whoever I meet I’m going to give him a can of pepper spray and explain to him how to properly deployed and how to how to hold it and when to have it ready for deployment in and if we you know hit the pads and do some some striking techniques on the pads and then I’ve just got myself a motorcycle helmet and some knee pads and actually found it with that where where are you where are you normally in the LA area Los Angeles I’m do some training would be fun it’s really good just really awesome you know that when is martial artist you know we like to think you know where NC techniques and stuff and then I’m not talented but I’ve been training a long time and like a three-year-old you know everybody know how talented they are kind of comes unglued around adrenal stress cuz we’re not used to yeah do you want to talk a little bit about that or what you want first if I’m going to say for all of the things were talking about regarding the fast combatives to me at it I’m seeing it in my mind’s eye because I’ve watched the videos and night and I’m an Enthusiast of it but to put the picture together for people who haven’t seen that do you want to come to describe what a minute or two of the of the takedowns and the we bring people into a container of salt container depends on this is just women sometimes it’s women and men and we teach them body language in queuing how to deescalate situations 90% of the fast work is about D escalating a situation so that it doesn’t go to a violent confrontation and they don’t have a lot of statistics and techniques and not but it is reasonably simple once you learn how to avoid a violent confrontation and get home safe and Alive you know once that so we do that we teach body language cueing what creditors look for in situations how to see violence situations when they’re on the way and avoid them and if there is a verbal confrontation how did the Escalade that confrontation I think the stats that bill gives is that I think seventy or eighty percent of assaults on women are done with only verbal intimidation no physical intimidation no exit by intimidation but 90% of verbal confrontation scan BD escalated or maybe higher with just words alone and it’s a matter of body language and what were putting out to the world that’s what we teach first cuz obviously you know if we can avoid violence that’s the best option I was just watching a video the other day and he said he said the speaker said violence is a last resort but when it raised our Resort is the only Resorts the only choice violence is always the last choice but when it is our choices becomes the only choice and that I believe that’s what we do in fast so once it’s clear there is absolutely no way to avoid a violent confrontation then we train peoples on large muscle groups to go into action and when were adrenalized when we’re a high adrenaline state which is basically in any confrontation we lose peripheral vision we get tunnel vision we get we lose fine motor control you know car keys and things like that and and we and we also get time to scotian and auditory exclusion we can’t hear so what that means is that we don’t have all our Resources with us what we do have continued to have is large muscle groups and so we teach people these large muscle movements big movements that are extremely effective that they don’t even have to remember because they won’t remember be able to remember the fine motor skill techniques that they will be able to remember these big muscle groups on my training partner here was about six months ago she was down and the beach here and she was attacked by a guy to come out of nowhere and punched her in the stomach or not and she’s not are the female instructor Sabrina that I work with and she she Palm healed in the face and broke his nose she kneed him in the groin she kneed him in the face and then she stomped on his head and then called the police and this is a very traumatic thing but her body did it automatically think about it you just did it you know and that’s that’s what we’re looking for so we we basically take a student and we teach them to deescalate a violent situation once it’s really obvious there’s there’s no way out of the violence if no way around it we teach them to cut loose with very very powerful techniques that basically finish the confrontation very quickly and because we do it in the hydranal and stayed the the the student it goes directly into the limbic system it becomes on autopilot goes right into muscle memory and so and we have to actually part of the training is when they’re in the adrenal stay when they’re done with the quote on quote we have them put your hands up and look around and we should call nine-one-one or go get help because they might forget to do that as a maybe other people in the situation you know so for me this is like I said it’s genius and Peyton Quinn and Bill kept are geniuses in my in my in my mind because they have that they’re not afraid of bucking the the martial arts system they just want to go for what’s true and what really works rather than going with tradition and you know people playing tag in their pajamas. I’ve been and what Bruce Lee said was you know Kung Fu is is is like a beautiful form of feather dusting when it comes time for I’m glad you I like to two point that that kind of stuff out and I think the the one of those things so I’ll try to say to people as you know those you see those Aikido Masters that have all that fine motor control and a state where most people would be very adrenalized but the thing is they are Masters and they come from a cultural tradition where you don’t just go one or two nights a week for a couple hours after work to have your hobby or these are everyday all-day training other people and not everybody makes it there an issue it’s not a they don’t I’ll make it they have to weed weed people out the students so the what you see in the movies with all this finessed technique of like a lot of time in indigenous healing Traditions or however we want to call it you know how to be sewn underground and so I I say that’s kind of reflected in how we how I approached this kind of thing even though you know today will will it will post the events publicly on Facebook and things like that there is still a ring to it that is about you’re not waiting for us to be given our our approval by by Society you know we just know that it’s important so we do this and and so like I’ve been doing this constantly one of my goals that I set out of certain point was that at least you know once a year there would be a community gathering around love sex intelligence and the rest of the time you know we haven’t online for him but very important for that hole project has been and which we’ve stepped it up in the recent months to make sure that hopefully like every month we can do something is to to say that the community around learning about how to how to harmonise our relationships how to defend our sexuality into something that is you know how uplifting our spiritual path is something that needs to be done you know with with with more support and so that’s why it’s it can’t just functioning online capacity so that’s something I’ve committed to we have we have been actually our next events is focusing squarely on sexual initiation I’m pink resented by someone named y’all Lila Espinosa is looking at how to tweeze mower practices that she learned in Peru you know have informed her own healing and and then creating her own initiation but yeah I also you know as an astrologer I work with people and often it is around relating I’ve done a little bit of like you know support for people I think what happens is you know when when you become a central figure in any given Community people will come to you when they’re in crisis and this is what has informed my my the work that I do around you know Rites of Passage is responding to crisis from a place that seeks to get to the root of what is causing the crisis which in so many cases is that there is a lack of of support and people therefore will resort to self initiation just something I’ve had to do in my own life and and see it so much the case for some of the other people and there’s another psychological shifts that occur when people an emotional shift that occur when people feel a sense that they’re being held that they are being that they can fit they can let go and have a safe space to go into those wounds and begin working on them and of course it would help if we had a little more guidance and how to do that but thought comes over over time you know we have to work from where we’re at and so that’s something that I’ve been in in the my own process of of my own work around here figuring what those things are with those tools are and Tom yeah like I said I’m not an expert but I can at least Point people in some directions I guess what we’re looking at here is that there’s an underground space very intentional underground space that is more conducive to kind of freestyling or rolling your own ceremony and just holding the light and and letting those who it call who are called to it you know it would become integrated into keep it at the gala Therrien and flowing so that you don’t have cult of personality and politics and all of the scenester Hipster things coming in and that’s always up in it and he has to be on guard against and whatnot so I see there’s that unfoldment in that development and then there’s people who are also working like stay in the social work field who are informing their peers and colleagues in those sectors with these Neo shamanic techniques or nonviolent communication or your where it’s legal and accessible and permissible you know legally again to be able to put people on amor I guess like prisons prison you Lila has a very and I’ve done some I interviewed her in the past and I’m a big fan of what she’s doing and I know she has a strong background in clinical social work and is feeding back into that sector the wisdom of of the Amazon and and Beyond and so is that something that you have I just thought I remember reading somewhere you know or talk to you at some point about how this is this is like you could be hired by the more formal above ground and sectors of social work or Community work with where you can be brought in to bring some of the stuff that would normally be or I guess it’s just that it’s a very interesting Cutting Edge of an intersection and I if I’m not mistaken that’s that you you are like sort of partially in that world 2 of of social work or is that something I understand correctly yeah I’ll I will string this conversation back and see where where I where I am placed social work as well as all the modalities of counseling and healing you know like they are all part and parcel to supporting and upholding status quo capitalist system so I’m going to like you know like you know also haven’t been in the punk scene also had a big enough impact on my my party now 13 m in terms of healing these wounds we have to look at that and I we can’t we can’t say like that are healing is going to be independent of the world that is reeling and suffering from the continuation of this system as it is and so that’s where for me like bringing capitalism into the equation is is something that’s real tricky it’s something that I feel needs to be kind of understood. You know we we can’t just rely on having sting services that we can pay for because that creates a gap you know where some people are going to have accessible abilities to to the healing and others won’t and that’s that’s not healthy for anyone and and also that it doesn’t address the root cause of why we need social workers to begin with and why we need counseling and all of that so I really like the notion of cultural healing that’s where more where I would be comfortable in any way kind of looking at myself as any kind of healer I don’t think we we can really heal individuals that’s really something that you know a person will need to and it’s not like they can be facilitated to do their own healing work but nobody can fix us we have to fix ourselves that’s that’s more I think a more powerful Paradigm to be apart of but you know I I I have worked in the realm of I focused therapy and you know I have spent quite a bit of time around the spirit plant medicines and seeing how the plant medicines have assisted and I do I do continue continuously work to increase my knowledge and wisdom around working with us plants and and that also brings us back into that hole realm of discussion around you know ancestors and working with them or perhaps that’s something we haven’t really touched upon but maybe she said it’s just that in any form of healing that we do I guess for me the important thing that I really try to bring into whatever I do connecting back with her ancestors and healing the trauma of how we were disconnected from those ancestors and how that plays out in any kind of sexual wounds or emotional wounds that we carry and so that’s something that I I I feel like the role of initiation and ritual can can really do and that’s that’s been its Province ever since people began doing patrols I think it’s to build upon the legacy of their ancestors and to draw and their their help and support cool said that yeah thank you for helping me understand the other parameters a little better and and 100% there with you I have I have been because I live in the United States where there’s different laws around no prostitution in in how that affects the healing with sexual touch and pleasure as medicine and stuff like that is a lot more yes I understand in in Canada there’s there’s a lot more interesting legal space in order to do Hands-On Sexual Healing work relative to the US where it’s completely off limits in so I because of that adapting to that reality and also is a permaculture designer myself I have to think very deeply about how to navigate this issue of for-profit healing work that kind of in most sectors is about like you said I’ll put in my own words it’s like they want to know if if the if you’re at a time of time robot that supposed to be producing a set amount to be a productive member of the of the GDP then then if you’re not functioning properly than the the goal of the mainstream social work or psychotherapeutic or psychiatric Fields they’re trying to get you back into the rat race as soon as possible and they’ll do that with drugs with talk therapy or whatever that is about avoiding through tissue which is the disconnection from urethane from a healthy holistic wild habitat you know a night as a primitivist I see that you know the solution to your Neurosis is to retry belies and Get Growing your own food again in and rebuild that fabric so you know there with you on that tension about right livelihood in and taking money for healing and what is he doing so I really like what you said and that just is going to it’s going to help me a lot looking at healing the cultural level and healing the if I’m understanding right and I’ll put a couple my own words on it but I feel like we’re trying to build the scaffolding or were trying to design the context for people to take the responsibility of a personal healing and gone to that journey and so if you if what would you say are some practical skills are tools from all of your things that you would teaching and training and a things that you discovered in your own journey to where you’re in power tools for empowerment that you suggest or are resources that you suggest people Explorer to if they’re called to do the cultural healing work weather for profit or non-profit. Some dance between the two or it and then what what are some recommendations for people who are on their own path and aren’t necessarily called to do the the cultural healing yeah I mean it’s it’s a pretty vast subject that one but I think that a few points that I could think about and talk about our that I’m going to this idea of bringing you back in the station rights and recognizing that in the absence of them what do we have you know we are we are sadly in there without initiated Elders so many of us and if there are any of Elders that hold that ability to to guide those those ones are those are worth their weight in gold you know there really is people that we should try to lift up and and give them their recognition and see you know and then in the absence of that it’s like we kind of by default Our Generations people that will have to hopefully fulfill that and reach a place where we can actually help upcoming generations to go in a way that they don’t have to completely go it alone and and figure it out on them on their own the way that so many of us have had to and so there is a movement around Rites of Passage I sit on the board if you passageways which is a network that focus is squarely on you no Rites of Passage for you coming of age from all different walks and and and modalities you know some of them are our Boys to Men oriented some of them are girls to women some of them are starting to incorporate non gender binary kind of approaches as well which is good and and this whole focus on bringing back the ancestors into looking at Rites of Passage is is starting to happen and something that I focused on and so that’s that’s a resource you know people can go to youth passageways. Oregon and look at what programs are out there and they can also think about how they can add to that list and bring in things that are needed around especially around sexuality and relationship which is often I noticed kind of a big gap in a lot of programs out there you know because they’re confined confined or constrained by the conservative values where they take place and you know what school system is you know this is one of those places lagging for that kind of thing so it’s a role that I think that many people who understand the need can step into and cultivate as career paths you know and some people are pig figuring out how they can weave their credentials says on Sexual Health Educators or sexual therapist or sexual trauma or no trauma-based therapists you know into this realm of initiation and that’s that needs to happen on a on an increased level the other I see a lot of because of what I was saying around looks really don’t how many Avenues to learn other than through you know what the books in the workshops and offerings around sexuality thoughts unfortunately are not rooted in in people’s only need two lineages generally speaking you know so the whole Tantra movement is pretty much so you know a cultural appropriator of New Age fight version of those Traditions that would have been squashed by Christianity especially and so I think there’s work to be done there and as much as possible Retreat retrieving reconstructing are reconnecting with our own ancestral Traditions which I’m sure you know had their own knowledge wisdom around how to how to raise healthy harmonious individuals with healthy sexualities from from the vantage point of how what little I do know has been has been done in indigenous cultures and without wanting to appropriate for them from them I’ll just give way of examples out of that you know in and certain cultures that are studied like the Mayan culture and I think to some degree on certain places within Creek culture there’s examples of how as societies you know that the children are raised from an early age 2 reach a point where they understand how to how to harmonize with the other sex and how to to look after each other and that’s just a very basic principle that I feel like you know that’s that’s worth kind of learning how to integrate into our family structures if we have children that were raising just to keep in mind that you know there is a need for them to learn skills around things like consent and around being responsible with with one’s sexual energies and and I needs to start before they reach that age of adolescence where they’re just harder to connect with if you haven’t built up that Foundation so that’s something that I think about will do you so if I if if we check out that the organization that you mention is it would that be good place to find and something like a more enlightened or more conscious like sexual education curriculum or guidebook do you know if people were working on something like that so if I know if you know parents who were going through the puberty of their child that they have something that’s not just this cold clinical Western and even though that sort of evolving a little bit you know with things like a sack didn’t and whatnot I see a lot but the The ancestral wisdom and you know the ceremonial Rites of Passage you know how does it how does the Modern Family say okay well you’re about to start feeling you know hormonal Energy’s how do we give you know create even if it’s just within their family or their Community yoga or whatever is something more than what’s being offered in the normal sex ed or what they’re listening in gangster rap music and watching on sitcoms obviously you know it’s enough for lack of lot of alternative options it’s one one place to look and we’re always looking for others so whenever we discover something then we will see to auditory resources and we are trying to vet those resources and those organizations to make sure that they really are you know at least there’s some some level of you know safe recommendation that we can give for those those organizations we’re not we’re not in the position to really kind of completely you know set standards but we are trying to we have a code of what we call it a cross-cultural protocol so we do look at that aspect that you have for what we’re talking about that’s you know if that’s another layer that we will hopefully get to eventually and I do know that there are people within our Network who are really strongly focused on this particularly around girls to women kind of education and and Rites of Passage and some of the Boys to Men once but I think it’s also something we need to to enhance as well oh that’s great yeah that’s that’s that’s what I wanted to hear so that I can just refer people to this ongoing and so and then the LSI is kind of its there’s a Facebook I’ve been interacting with the the Facebook group for a while so is that something you recommend people plug-in I mean that’s the goal of that is to feature blogs and generate discussions from those blogs and also to establish a resource of services as well as information and so that’s you know running on in a very limited volunteer capacity and so you know it’s something that I hope will eventually become a very powerful resource but already it’s you know it’s been feedback that I’ve received that you know even just the the group that we have on Facebook somebody posted recently. You know it’s really help them in their in their path which is nice to hear and I’ve heard that a few times and I try to curate that group in such a way where it’s like you know it’s trying to generate discussion and it’s it’s trying to be a safe space where where people can get into some of those I’m intimate revealing is of what what’s going on in their lives one of the things that kind of came out of love sex intelligence local as a connection with Tamara and the love school that they have which is a very congruence philosophy to love sex intelligence and they’re their work to try to create or with to create safe spaces for people to to share stories of what’s going on in their intimate lover sexual lives and and B witnessed in a way that is non-judgemental where they’re not being flooded with advice but more just being witnessed which is kind of connected to that whole framework for Rites of Passage itm witnessing each other and so it’s it’s trying to also look at how you know communities can succeed in their in their goals which might include you know like being more sustainable or being an alternative to the systems around us and also being a part of a more peaceful kind of culture through filling this hole that is often where things go wrong where people are are are not feeling safe to talk about these these human experiences around wounding around are our hearts and our sexuality so I’ve been part of a Practice Group here that has been circulating also to other parts of BC and I think it’s a really it’s a really powerful movement to be a part of yeah we’re getting close to an hour or so I have to take a few more minutes and I’m get a couple thoughts and feelings some responsible for 1 something that his is coming up for me that I think it’s really empowering is this like idea that wouldn’t it be nice if some of us started to think of ourselves as aspiring Elders I’ve never thought of it that way until this conversation and there’s a little spark of joy and me that that says you know puts in context the the punk rock lifestyle that I had of live fast Die Young and just you know if it’s not throwing yourself into the meat grinder of insurrectionary activism you know with this sort of Death Wish you know this martyr complex or whatever it’s like those are really unsustainable archetypes to follow and they leave a lot of people when they get to my age in about 35 like in a sort of existential crisis that will the revolution didn’t happen and I didn’t get killed I didn’t die in the gutter you know I mean what am I going to do now and it’s like well maybe it’s time to become an aspiring Elder and you know clean up your act and and then start to think about how you’re going to make it easier cuz I there’s a lot of things that I had to go through that I would seriously love to have no one else ever have to go through and if you know if we can live in that. you know that is what you’re supposed to think that I think of you say you know you can you can learn from the wisdom of Elders who have gone through and made the mistakes that you’re probably going to go through or you can just be hard-headed and learn all your lessons the hard way but I mean we’ve had to learn a lot of hard lessons in the absence of the eldership but I think if we take on that there’s a yeah me too. It seems obvious but really the way you put it his medicine for me to think you know it’s a dignified path to be an aspiring Elder and then it makes you not be so how do I can help you defeat that that that grinding pressure that oh my I’m going to lose my looks and I’m going to lose my energy and I’m going to be in the state of deprecation towards death and that’s very much the greatest fear of the western manicured Uno photoshopped airbrushed identity like you’re not really giving any hope that aging will be of any benefit in here just marginalized further and further so I thank you for that serve very much still give that time sacred eldership dignity not a light title to hold I think the true Elder wouldn’t really feel comfortable in it cuz it’s defining attributes of an elder that is really one that can help that role be the best it can be is one that is is really accountable is really present isn’t so on the move that if you can’t you know be relied upon to be there for the people that it serves now needs to ideally be in the in the fellowship of other Elders to kind of keep it in in in check in a way like we have to watch for the Cole group kind of phenomenon where people you know place a lot of weight on that person and in a way that can privilege them in certain ways and also lead to potential like power distortions and things like that you know it’s it’s only human that people will make mistakes and so having that kind of accountability of other people and also that time yeah you have people heart or a different there’s always like in every phase of life with the lifecycle there’s there’s like the maturing phases and so there’s like you know there’s a baby elder there’s enough adult Elder and then Senior Elder and so it’s just we have to learn at each stage of Life how to become the mature version of what that stage is and says just something to think about as well and it’s good to to get your feet wet early on in life so that you know we can have deep roots and and the and those are the kinds of people to like in the Tamara situation out of the black community they have a circle of Elders who are basically people who have grown with a community enough that they know the people in their community and then they serve a role as potential kind of like the Matchmaker but you know in a way where people can approach them in and ask them like you know I’m interested in this person and they can help you assess whether this is the right time or what is a good or bad idea and you know they can kind of that. Whole courtship in a way that you know really I think I wish there were more of those people around here don’t you let me relax you know learn the hard way what does that we’re just not compatible certain people in The Matrix the I mean yeah I’m not I’m not a political scientist of the Matrix but I will say that what got me peaked on the ecstatic trance dance group ritual ceremony festival thing was it really when I saw I think it was maybe the second movie or maybe it was the second or the third but there was a scene where they’re just getting down to like Juno Reactor I think was a soundtrack of a butt there is something beautiful about seeing the different the warrior culture Guided by elders and of course there’s different the archetypes playing out in Conflict split that to me was took it further than then the Star Trek Federation is a futuristic Elder guided Council guided kind of reality so that was kind of fun but yeah so that’s what came to mind when you’re at we’re talking about that be so cool if you’re early sexual oracle’s who you go to you know if we’re going to give you insights and maybe even have name your child for you or something cool like that you know be so cool but right on then will I worry about at the hours so do you have any closing touch you want to share or any other resources or should we just I’ll post the the links that you mention and I’ll definitely encourage people to stay informed and keep an eye out for your anything coming up you have any appearances or anything exciting like that coming up you want to mention I think yeah I think I covered a lot of it and I just wanted to maybe plant a seed while I have the airwaves here about something that I’d I’d eventually like to work on presenting which is around insert Intercultural relationships and also decolonizing our relationships as well and just thinking about how how we can heal some of these ancestral traumas and use that has as as a means to strengthen our relationships and also our society right on I’ll be looking forward to everything that you’re you’re expressing in the world and I hopefully yeah maybe sometime in the future we can talk about skill sets for Beyond Christian monogamy that would be a great topic so yeah how would you feel about that maybe we can sometime in the next few months follow up with something like that. Maybe by the by the time I’ll have more of a personal lived experience to a base conversation around that I think you know in terms of people who are already I don’t know how many listeners here are on a Christian spiritual path without that many but if the energy and gnosticism and sacred marriage not going to the alchemical top in the in the Gnostic tradition but I I wouldn’t make any claims to be an expert in that area but it’s definitely something to look at cool alright then we will be in touch and will follow up sometime in the future and thank you so much so be I really enjoyed it and I know it’s taking us a while to get this to get this done but I think it was perfect and I couldn’t ask for anything more so you have a wonderful day. Take care and keep for listening to the touch upon podcast please go to www.crunch.com and cook on the Donate button to help support the show in addition is to see me and if you want a podcast for donations will help establish permaculture goddess Temple every bite ecological employment for single mothers Please Subscribe and share your favorite episodes if you have questions or comments feel free to leave a voicemail at 818-275-1593 or email been at Contra Punk. Com Thomas Day